#but one of the reasons i joke that im dependent on taylor is because she's a part of things i look forward to

[evermoredeluxe]

sorry for putting this on you..what do i do if i want to kill my self. there’s no joy or anything in my life. i can’t see a future. every single hour is so hard. i am housebound due to other mental illnesses. i can’t do anything i can barely eat or breathe without a panic attack. i need to go..how do i end it painlessly…

anon im so sorry you’re feeling this pain right now. my actual genuine advice to you is to look forward to the smallest thing ever and be like “i need to be here to experience it.” it can be a movie, an album, a show, a book, a birthday, whatever you want! and if you aren’t looking forward to anything, then force yourself to be excited, convince your brain that you are! cry if you have to to let the things heaving you down out. im happy to talk to you (you can even dm me or send more anons), and i know it’s very hard to share stuff with a real person in your life, but try it. contact someone you trust whenever you feel a panic attack coming.

i genuinely believe that pain can’t be forever, and it’s the worse things can happen to a person and it can feel like everything and everyone is against you, but if you are just brave enough to power through, then it’s never not okay. it will always turn around.

[justchamomiletea]

A Lyric Analysis of champagne problems by Taylor Swift

You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse

is it worse to be on a night train to sit and wallow in your thoughts or is it worse to not be able to think with the bustle of people around you when you wish the world would just slow down for a moment and you could clearly think?

Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems

I was the one to let you go, the one to leave you stranded and leading for no-one to follow. 

Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems

quite obviously a proposal that was not accepted, but one that was meaningful enough to warrant a family heirloom. the desire to have this individual as family. also, lyrics for shattering one’s heart via breaking glass is gorgeous. 

You told your family for a reason You couldn't keep it in Your sister splashed out on the bottle Now no one's celebrating

told your family in excitement in advance and in hope that the proposal would be accepted. or did you tell your family after in disappointment and sadness. was there anger? sister is distraught and everyone exists in a state of discomfort and melancholy.

Dom Pérignon, you brought it No crowd of friends applauded Your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems

this has AMAZING theories. did the skeptics call it champagne problems or did the skeptics call “it” as in they called the fact that she would say no? also, this is a champagne problem in the sense that, when compared to other issues, it is quite trivial, but it also is literally a champagne problem as he now has champagne to celebrate an engagement that never came to be.

You had a speech, you're speechless Love slipped beyond your reaches And I couldn't give a reason Champagne problems

this just hits my heart. the fact that she couldn’t give a reason causes me so much pain for her and for him (or them). one is distraught as the proposal was not accepted and there was just no reason and the other simply can't put her finger on why she was compelled to say no, but knows its not right.

Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure "This dorm was once a madhouse" I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me"

here comes the bridge of the century. touch that turns things to gold. did he turn the old chevy into something golden and magical? did he have a magic touch that fixed the chevy? does he just turn everything to gold? November flush of cold and your flannel jacket that cures my cold is lyrical genius, Taylor. explaining that you are mad or fit in a madhouse could be comical or ironic. is she saying she is mad or crazy or simply scattered and filled with life? or is she saying that others prescribe her as mad in the way that madness and hysteria is prescribed to women as a way of containing them and labelling their “craziness” as an illness?

How evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through

this one plagues my thoughts constantly. what word are we not saying again? the word “evergreen”? are they dying out and crumbling? the word “our”? are they no longer our friends as after this heart wrenching moment we no longer have friendships that belong to both of us? co-owned or co-dependent or any other thing belonging to both are severed? or “group”? as in a nod to the pandemic like in mirrorball where she speaks of the state of existence of now where we cannot be together or experience group gatherings? and the nerve to deck the halls that we once walked through is so clever. to get the holiday song in here and twist it to a sadder and dampened meaning of wistful longing and anger and memories of past co-habitation is so intelligent.

One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

they just weren’t on the same page. she wasn't ready for the same life path or the same steps and so she watched them walk away. sometimes you just don’t know how you will react until the time comes; until you are in the moment and it feels right or wrong for whatever reason.

"She would've made such a lovely bride What a shame she's fucked in the head, " they said But you'll find the real thing instead She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

who is they? the skeptics? the family? the group of friends? im very curious. this is also very interesting to see as one would say this to support a friend, but being on the receiving end is a different story. the new girl will patch up the parts of your life that I stole from you; that I ripped from you when I took your time and love and life for x number of years. soon you will find the real thing that I could not be.

And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket Her picture in your wallet You won't remember all my Champagne problems

you will get a re-do of your perfect moment and have it changed. your life will be back on the track you planned and all of this will seem like a champagne problem.

You won't remember all my Champagne problems

you won’t remember me and my small issues and inability to be in your life. the hangups and fuck ups and problems that seem trivial to you. you can re-do your life and I will be stuck in this moment as the one who just wasn’t ready and was left in the dust. but you won’t remember that. it was just a champagne problem.

[peter-btw-parker]

Random Tags Rules: Always post the rules. Answer the 11 random questions posted for you. Create 11 new ones and tag 11 people. Let the person who tagged you know that you answered.

Tagged by: @princessunicorn13 @b-oota

Questions below...

Bre’s Questions

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a psychologist/psytherapist

Any favorite book recommendations? Always! Let’s see... Leven Thumps, Charlie Bone, Ranger’s Apprentice, A Court of Thorns and Roses, Throne of Glass, The Door Within, Seraphina... too many XD

Who is your favorite Disney character? Probably... Princess Eilonwy from The Black Cauldron

Favorite villain? Maleficent. 

Least favorite fictional character? Tamlin from A Court of Thorns and Roses

What superpower would you wish for if given a chance to choose? Shapeshifting

Favorite family member? I feel bad for answering this XD It’s kind of my little brother (3 years old) right now. He calls me by a nickname no one’s used since I was little and he absolutely loves doing things with me. He’s also the most random person I know XD

Do you give second chances? It really depends on the situation but yes, I do try and give people second chances.

Is there someone you miss right now? I one of my best friends. We talked about everything together and now she’s on the west coast for college :(

Where have you always dreamed of going? Either London or New Zealand. One for the culture and architecture, the other for it’s gorgeaous scenary.

Do you plan on having kids? If so, how many? Yes, and maybe 4 or 5? No more than 5 though

Lindsay’s Questions

if you could play any character in any movie, musical, show, or book being turned into any of those, who would you be and why? I think it would be incredibly cool to play Seraphina from Seraphina. She’s amazing and brilliant but also very average looking. She doesn’t try to stand our or being anything she’s not, and she goes through so many struggles because of who her mother was and who she is. And book 2... I cried...

favorite song lyrics? “How bout I jump out the window?” from Humbug by Owl City. Favorite Christmas song XD

you’re in a hot air balloon, sailing over any city in the world with the 3 people of your choice, where are you and who are you with? The city would be... Orlando, Florida because I want to know what Disney World looks like from the air XD I’d want to be there with my mom, my friend Taylor, and my second younger sister

if you were a sticky note on someone’s fridge, what color would you be, what would you say, and whose fridge would you be on? I would be a green sticky note, probably saying something incredibly sarcastic or punny (You legs will always lift you up), and I’d want to be on my friend Dottie’s drifge cause she “hates” my dumb jokes XD

a stranger walks up to you and claims to be a famous person, asking you for a favor. You recognize the name, but they still look completely foreign to you. Who is it, and how embarrassed are you? Would you do the favor? First thought was Tom Holland Let’s see... well, I’d be embarressed no matter who they were, no I would probbaly not do the favor. And the person would honestly probably be someone that literally anyone would recognize but because I forget the name to a face, I wouldn’t realize it XD

you see your least favorite teacher on the news for receiving an award for being an amazing teacher. Your reaction? Roll my eyes, scream “are you kidding me?! He’s the reason I hate math!” then go to Netflix or something

what’s one line from a book, movie, tv show, etc. that means a lot to you, and why? It can be funny, serious, made you cry, be a joke among your friends, etc. 

if you eat donuts, what’s your favorite? If not, tell me about your favorite sweet! I used to really love glazed donuts but for the sake of my health and being healthy, I no longer eat them. Kit Kats on the other hand... I can’t stay away from those if you paid me

do you like lotion? Why or why not? Not on my hands because then they feel slimey to me, but anywhere else is fine

what is one show/movie you would reboot and why? Pretend like it’ll live up to it’s name and hype. Percy freaking Jackson! They destroyed the movie and somehow thought that making a second one would end well *smh* I refuse to watch them and constantly ask my mom if we can break the discs

favorite vine or video you think is funny? Either the one where Obama says “Thanks Obama” after trying to dip a large cookie into a glass, or one where and owl is talking to this lady and saying “drugs” in a weird voice with a weird head angle. 

My Questions

1.) Which book character do you most find yourself acting like?

2.) If you’ve taken the Hogwarts House test, did your result reflect what you believe you are? If you haven’t, what house do you think you are?

3.) What comes to mind, memory wise, when you see the word “pillow?”

4.) Why is it your favorrite color?

5.) Replace your favorite book character with your best friend. How much will change? What will stay the same?

6.) Last thing you binge watched on Netflix (or anything else)?

7.) Favorite background/side character and why?

8.) What is a name that you’ve always admired?

9.) How good of a liar are you? How often does it get you in trouble?

10.) Fondest memory?

11.) How often do you take time to do something that is 100% just for you? No obligations, no requirements, no one stanidng over your shoulder watching.

@im-forever-a-fangirl @sugacraving @tom-holla @spider-bih @solartchalla @five-foot-two-joanne @ribbonsandchocolate @the-crime-fighting-spider @kaliforniacoastalteens @zendmylife @spidey-mantom

Sorry for such a long post! XD

[c-rankin93]

SHE'S NO YOU - Ch.6

A/N: This chapter is when the truth starts to unravel... do you think you have figured out what happened? Have a good read! P.s Loooooong chapter :) -- CHAPTER SIX: DON'T LISTEN TO THEM -- RAE POV: "How do you know Olivia?" I had just put the kids to bed and now I was sitting next to a tense Gregory awaiting his answer. "Well about 2 years ago I sold her sister a house. She was there of course, but I didn't know she was Finn's Girlfriend". 'It was interesting to know that he could still remember his clients sisters from 2 years ago, especially on a first name basis' I snickered to myself. It was a simplistic reply that was used as a deflection. It was obvious he was uncomfortable talking about her, and I was curious to know why. But for right now I was exhausted beyond belief. "Ohkay" I smiled. It wasn't worth a fight, it was bad enough that I was dealing with Finn, I didn't need to add Greg to the mix. "You seem close to your ex-husband's family" You could hear the bitterness in his voice, and internally I chucked. He didn't really have a reason to be mad at me over that, when he's the one lying right now. "Greg". "It was just a simple observation Rae. The man seemed very fond of you, if I must say". "We were very close when I was married. I cut all ties with them when I filed for divorce. It was the first time seeing Archie- Finn's brother in years" I sighed. "Mhm" he nodded. His hand lightly pressed against my naked thigh. "Hon, can I stay the night?" I was not prepared to hear that on a Wednesday night. He never stayed over when we both had work in the morning. "What about work your work tomorrow" I said stating the obvious. Gregory lived more towards the CBD, where traffic was lethal at anytime of the day or night. It was easier for him to get to work in the morning because he only lived a block away. It would take him a good two hours extra to drive home and get ready, then head to work for his 8am start. "I have a later start tomorrow. So I can just leave when you drop the kids off for school" he smiled; grazing his fingers more into my inner thigh. For some reason the intimate touch felt foreign. His hands were softer then I was use to, not as callous and rough. This was not good. "Ugh- sure" I encouraged myself to smile. We got off the couch and headed towards the bedroom hand in hand. Just as we opened the door to my bedroom and saw the state it was in, I froze. Clothes littered the floor in an unattractive manner. The bed, the same bed where I let Finn take me the night before had disheveled sheets, after not sleeping a wink last night. "You go have a shower and freshen up and I'll give this pig-sty a little clean. You don't really want to be smelling three day old Rae do you?" I tried to joke, I was embarrassed he had to witness this. "Don't worry about it to much hon" he laughed, then kissed my forehead. I didn't watch him walk into my ensuite. I was to busy glaring at my bed. There was no way I was washing those contaminated sheets, no they to be burnt. -- Anxiously, I hurried to get the last details added to the final sketch before the meeting in two hours. Chloe had organised for the board at 'Taylor industries' to come in and confirm the sketchs before signing of on the build. The new multi-million dollar mall has been a top priority for my team and I, for the past year and a half. I was glad that we were finally having the last meeting before I could watch my work come to life. When it was lunch time; or so my stomach reminded me. I checked mobile messages before leaving the office. I had turned it to silent, not wanting to be disrupted. Which I regretted once I saw the miss call from my children's school. Dialing the number on my office phone I waited for an answer. "Columbia Grammar and Preparatory School, Mary speaking, how may I help?" "Hi my name is Rachel Nelson-Earl, I'm the mother of Ruby and Joshua Nelson. I have a missed call, and I was wondering why". "Hi Ms. Nelson. Yes I have a message here for you referring to your son Joshua. It seems that he has had a altercation with another student. He has been stepped down for the rest of the day. We are in need for you to collect him as soon as possible please". 'Shit' I thought. Joshua had never been a kid to ever get into any sort of altercation, physical or not. This was completely out of character for him. Checking the time I noticed I had 30 minutes to til the meeting started, a meeting that could potentially sink my career if I didn't attend it. "I'll have to ring his father to collect him. But someone will be there as soon as possible" I replied. It was the only other solution I could think of. I just hoped Finn wasn't in a meeting. "Certainly. I will let his teacher know". "Thank you". As soon as I hung up the phone to the school, I dialed Finn's office number. I was put through to two different receptionist before i was finally directed through to Finn's office. "Finn Nelson's office, Olivia speaking" the nasily voice spoke. "Can you please put me through to Finn" I said in a rush and slightly paniced. I was not in the mood to talk to this bitch, time was against my side and I wasn't going to let her waste it. "And who's speaking?" Her cheerful demeanor forgotten. No wonder why Finn couldnt get any other pussy, she was the ultimate cock block. Clearing my throat, I continued speaking. "Its Rae, now can you put me through to f-". "Rae? Why would you possibly need to talk to Finn?" Olivia barked- like the true dog she was. "Olivia I don't have time for this! I need to talk to Finn about Joshua!" "I'm sure this is something that can be discussed outside of office hours-" "But y-" "- unlike some Ms. Earl, Finn is a busy Man and I can't possibly interrupt him!" "Fucki-" "Good day Rachel!" *Beeeeeeeeep!* That donkey nose airhead, wannabe-fucking-heiress, man-stealing bitch! I quickly dialed Finn's mobile, praying to God he actually turned it on for once. One thing Finn and I had in common was that we hated being disturbed from our work. No mobile, no hassle. "Rae?" "Finn! You need to put a fucking leash on that crackhead girlfriend of yours! I tri-" "Calm down Rae!" Finn sighed, I could only imagine him raking his hand through his hair. "Tell me what's going on? Slowly. And calmly". "I called your office to talk to you but your lovely assistant hung up on me! But that's not the point, the point is I rang you about Josh". "Why? What happened? Is he alright?" Finn rattled off questions. "He's fine, but he has been in a fight with another student. He's been stood down for the rest of the day.. Finn I need you to pick him up, please. I have a meeting in 15 minutes and my career depends on it. I know your busy bu-". "Of course I'll pick him up Rae. You don't need to explain yourself, he's my son too. I need to take responsibility for him too. But really, fighting?" I could hear the disbelief in his husky voice. "I know Finn. I don't know what's going on with him? He's never gotten into a fight before" My voice broke, but I managed to pull myself together. This was not the time to do this, especially whilst on the phone to my ex-husband. "Rae it will be Ohkay, I'll pick him up and take the rest of the day off. I'll get Archie to pick Ruby up for me when she finishes". "Ohkay" I breathe. "Thank you". "I'll talk to you tonight". For the second time today, I was hung up on. My phone was still pressed snuggly pressed against my ear when Chloe pranced in, smile beaming, and excitement lighting her eyes. "Are you ready?" She came around the desk to stand beside me. Her eyes flicking over the mountain of blueprints and sketches I had rolled up in a neat pile. "Is this all of them?". "Yes, there is a detailed plan of every floor, shop location, public area, toilets and even parking. Name a room and and I am certain it's here" I smiled at my friend. "This is why I love you Rae" Chloe beamed. Collecting a stack of scrolls, she took off towards the board room. I had a lot of people's jobs in my hand in this moment and all I had to do is impress 4 billionaires. Easier said then done, taming one was hard enough. -- FINN POV: I saw red the moment I ended the call with Rae. To whom my anger was directed towards was a mystery, because i couldn't narrow it down to just one person. Multiple people where now on my radar. Including a women only metres away from me. Grabbing my jacket, wallet and keys I threw the door open in a haste. I didn't even care about the looks that were directed towards me. Not that my floor was full of people, it was only a handful. But those select people obviously found my fury more interesting then their work at this moment. "Cancel the rest of the day, direct all my calls to the front desk with a note saying I'm away for the rest of the day and send sorry notes with chocolates to whoever I'm cancelling on" I spoke as I walked. I didn't even look in Olivia's direction, my main goal was getting to the elevator as quickly as possible. "But Finn where are you going? You can't just cancel ev-" "Do not tell me what to do Olivia! I am your boss and you are my employee. Start acting like it for Christ sake" I hissed, my voice was raised and no doubt our audience were enjoying the show. By the look Liv's face was portraying she was livid. Not that I cared. "Will you at least tell me where your going?" She asked, grabbing my arm just as I reached the elevator. "I'm going to collect Joshua from school" I said keeping all conversation to a minimum. Olivia snorted. "Really Finn? Your leaving work for that? It's only 1 o'clock, why on earth would you be picking him up now for? I bet you Rae is only doing this to trick you into some stupid pla-" Not being able to take her rant anymore. I closed my palm over her mouth, stopping the bullshit. "Enough! Enough for once Olivia! My son needs me, and not you or anyone else is going to stop me getting to him. Im his father first and foremost. So next time when Rae rings do not hang up on her. Do you understand me?" She nodded, my hand still firmly clasped over her sticky lips. "Now if you'll excuse me, you have work to get back too and I have a son I have to see. And maybe you should go see your sister after work for a bit. I need some alone time with my children". I didn't wait for her reply. Stepping into the elevator I immediately pressed the ground floor button. And just like in the movies the elevator doors closed that two seconds, too slow. - Joshua had remained quite when I spoke to the principle in his office. Mr. Horne was a rapacious man. When he needed money, I was his life line. When the music program needs to upgrade out of season instruments they come to me. In order to keep his bulging budget, he needed to keep me happy. Joshua had gotten away with barely a slap on the hand and a day off school. Nothing was going on his permanent file, and after much hesitation on Mr. Horne's behalf the name of the other student was given to me. I knew his parents, they had been an acquaintance of my company for some time, due to my shares in theirs. The matter will get sorted, quietly. We had been home for the past 20 minutes and still Joshua had barely looked my way, only nodding and shaking his head when I spoke. This sort of behavior was unusual for my 8 year old boy. He was never one to fight, or act up. Unless it was against his sister. But after being fly tackled by a pigtail wearing 6 year old, you would get mad too. The silence finally got the best of me, when I found myself sitting across from Joshua. "What happened?" My tone demanding, but I felt desperate. "He pushed me, so I hit him". Joshua would have to be kidding if he thought he was getting away with an answer like that. Raising an eyebrow. "You expect me to take that for an answer son". "I don't know" he shrugged. "Why did he push you?" "Because". "Oh come on Joshua just tell me!" My son slammed his hand down on the couch and stood abruptly. His face was glowing red, tears threatened to spill. Something was wrong. "You want to know why dad! It's because he was talking about you and mom and I told him to get a life. He pushed me and I just hit him... I don't know why" he cried. "I just couldn't help myself". "Son" I stood, walking towards Josh and sat him back on the couch, with me right next to him. "What did he say about your mother and I? You know you can tell me right?" Nodding, Joshua pulled his knees up against his chest. "He was saying that mom wasn't good enough. That- that's why you left us". My heart shattered. I knew kids could be cruel these days, but this was nothing that I would of expected. I didn't know how I was going to explain myself to Joshua. How do you tell your son that it wasn't me to walk away, but it was her? You don't. "Josh.. Josh look at me please" cupping his chin I turned his face towards me. "Your mother was never 'not good enough' for me. She is the most lovely and courageous women I know. We didn't break up because I got sick of her son". "Then why did you break up?" Shit! "We just grew apart, but I will always love your mother". "Then why are you mean to her dad? Why does she still cry at night?" It was my turn to start tearing up. I couldn't beleive I was having an adult conversation with my 8 year old son. My heart hurt more the longer he spoke. I never knew he could hear Rae and I's conversations. He heard me when i stupidly degraded his mother, everytime i opened my mouth. Did that mean Ruby could hear too? I felt like a monster, but i was hurt. Rae had broken me to the point where hate started seeping in, leaving me with fragments of my old self that I reserved for my kids. "I'm sorry Joshua. I should never of talked to your mother like that. Please promise me you wont ever speak to your mother like that". "I wouldn't. I actually love her" he declared. "Josh. Don't talk to me like that! You are not your mother so I don't have to explain anything to you, alright? We are getting off topic and I want to talk about you hitting another student Joshua". "Colton said that his dad got to touch mom" Joshua softly spoke. My heart skipped a beat with his words, then plummeted to the pit of my stomach. "What? When?" If I wasn't sitting my knees would've already buckled by now. He was talking about Mr. Davis and Rae. How many other men has she fucked while being with Gregory, or better yet me. "He said a few years ago his dad saw mom coming out of the bathroom of this big fancy ball... And touched her. The- then he said. He said his friends laughed when Mr. Davis said mom was fighting him. What does he mean dad?" I tried to remember the last ball he had attended with Rae. It had to of been at least 3 years ago. I remember vaguely the lacey number she wore. The neckline plunged deeper then usual, teasing my eyes, and many men around him. After thinking about it, I do remember how she had been the perfect plus one. Floating around from person to person, saying her hellos. Between dancing and chatting she was spreading her happiness. Well until half way through, when she insisted they went home early. Her mood sombre, but she insisted she was due for her menstrual cycle. Unless... Something happened between Mr. Davis and Rae. Something sinister, and degrading. That son of a bitch! "Joshua. Promise me you won't tell your mother. I want to be the one to speak to her about this. And I will tonight, Ohkay?" Nodding, Joshua leaned into me as my arm draped across his shoulders. My son was hurt and it was all my fault. I didn't help Rae, but I didn't know. If something happened during that ball without my knowledge I don't think i could forgive myself. I pray that the kid was feeding Josh bullshit, but somewhere in the back of my mind I felt like something did happen. The door softly opened to reveal my beautiful daughter and brother, walking through the entrance still unnoticed to Josh and I's presence. Until Ruby looked up and make eye contact with me. "Daddy!" The click of her polished leather shoes echoed the foyer. "Hi princess, did you have fun at school?" "I did! I did! We learnt our 4 times tables today daddy. They so easy, but Mike said that I was just a smarty pants. I told him that my daddy always said I should have my nose within a book, then a boy on a hook" she declared proudly. My glorious daughter reminded me so much of her mother. The light in her eyes shone brightly, just like Rae's. "Well done baby girl. Did you have fun with Uncle Archie?" I asked. Looking towards Archie I smiled, mouthing 'thank you'. I had phoned him the moment I jumped in the car to pick up Josh. He, of course agreed. Our work was close to Ruby's school, plus Archie had informed me that Ben is quite able to pick up Sophie daycare. "Yes we organised a play date for Mommy and Uncle Archie. He said he wants mommy, Joshua and I to come see them. It's going to be fun!" Archie and Rae must have rekindled their relationship after we interrupted her dinner. With Gregory. "That sounds great sweetheart. How about you and Josh go to your rooms for a second whilst I talk to Archie, ohkay". "Ohkay daddy! Come on Josh, I can show you what I did today in art class with Crissy" she pulled on her brother arm in a haste. Finally, when they went to their rooms I turned to my Brother. "What happened with Josh?" he asked, moving towards the love seat next to me. "He got into a fight with John Davis' son today. He punch him when Colton started to talk about Rae and I's relationship". Sighing, I ran my hand through my thick hair. I knew I could trust my brother with my life, so I knew what I was about to tell him will be kept confidential. "What about your relationship?" Quizativley he moved forward. "Apparently she wasn't good enough for me so I left. But that's not all..." "How could a kid say something like that! How would he know what was going on with your family? Hang on there's more?" I told him everything that Josh had just told me, down to what I remembered about the night. I could see the empathy in Archie's eyes. The more I talked, the more my throat constricted. The words left a bitter taste in my mouth, if only I had been there. I could of done something. "Finn you don't know for sure if anything happened that night. John could of been telling a bullshit story to a punch of people. Don't beat yourself up about it". "Archie, you don't understand. After that night Rae started to become slightly distant, I didn't notice it until she left though. She didn't seem like herself, but originally I thought it was because of the kids. Then 6 months later, she fucking left me with divorce papers". "Finn-" "What if this was the reason. She couldn't bare to look at me after I let my work associate molest her!" "You didn't know!" "I should of asked her what was wrong. I should of followed her or something. I can't stop thinking what if..." "Talk to her. Finn, you need to go around and talk to her. What time are you meant to drop Joshua and Ruby back off?" "7.." I breathed. "Its now 4pm, go talk to her now. I'll stay here with the kids and if your not back by 6.30pm then I'll drop them of there. That gives you 2 and a half hours to work out what the fuck happened, Ohkay?" Nodding like a scolded child I got up of the couch. "Are you sure?" I asked. I was unsure about leaving the kids with him, but I needed to talk to Rae immediately. I couldn't wait til i dropped Ruby and Joshua off tonight. "Of course Finn. I'm your brother, I'll do anything for you". "Thank you". I pulled Archie in for a hug, then ran out the door. I hope Rae is ready for me. -- As quickly as I could I drove to Rae's house. When I arrived, I threw the gear into parked and hurried to her front door. After knocking I waited very patiently for a very confused but equally beautiful Rae to open the door. "Finn?.. What are you doing here? Where are the kids?" "We need to talk Rae. Josh and Ruby are fine, they are with Archie" I said. The truth will be revived tonight. What really happened the night she walked away... No more waiting. -- I hope I haven't forgotten anyone! Sorry if I did!! @luly310 @milymargot @eveerez @I88cym @lily-pop-2 @mmfdfanfic @milllott @i-dream-of-emus @arathewallflower @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e

[depressedtheatregirl]

@hollywoodforeverr

who’s your celebrity crush?

probabl tom holland or 90′s leo dicaprio <3 

are you single or taken?

taken, just got my first bf!

rant. just do it

I think that abortion should be legal because as of right now the only reason it’s illegal is because stupid men keep passing idiotic laws on womens bodies. Young ladies are told to be responsible and they wont get pregnant, but that’s not always the case!!

do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art?

No, I think that the artist should always at least get a credit if thats what you mean

how many accounts do you have?

Three. This one ( @depressedtheatregirl )

this one ( @fangirl-all-the-time-bi​ )

and this one, which i almost never post on ( @cottagecore-darkacademia )

how many pairs of shoes do you have?

We’re moving, so I got rid of a lot, but mainly 7

opinion on… (specify to the person you’re asking to)

i am confusion

how many accounts do you follow?

um let me check

180 because sometimes i sit and just follow all my recommended because people want followers and i think im a pretty nice person :)

favorite brand of clothing?

Idk but i love almost anything from shein and hot topic but im not goth i just love dark academia

name a dog

kingsley

or like BB so i could just call him/her baby

what unusual talent do you have?

crying for hours on end for no reason

i have a wide vocal range

what’s the most interesting schools gossip you’ve ever heard?

Best friends since 4th grade broke up because one called the other “fat and disgusting”

School hoe (my best friend) rejects popular “bad kid” for like the fourteenth time and switches to homeschool, screw it

ever prank called a store?

yeah me and my sister used to prank call Bojangles and just say in our most valley girl voice possible “Is this that WE HAVE THE MEATS place?” “omg NO beth, thats AR-BEES”

what’s your coffee order?

Starbucks: Venti Mango Dragonfruit Refresher with extra ice (call me basic but its good)

Dunkin: Small Caramel Latte with Extra Whip

what’s a question do you constantly get asked?

are you ok?

are you and Christian ever gonna date?

what the heck are you doing?

if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I would get an anchor or a cross on my wrist (we love jesus here in this household)

I kind of want to get a tattoo that says ‘FEMINIST’ on my arm 

google the top song from the year you were born

LOVE STORY BY TAYLOR SWIFT BABYYY (Also pls dont try to find out my age from this)

rant about your favorite musician

ok I love Barrett Wilbert Weed. She plays Janis in Broadway’s Mean Girls and Veronica in Broadway’s HEATHERS (My favortie musical) and she just has such a wide vocal range and strong belt, its just beautiful.

I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT She has the same political views as i do, she’s such a boss, but she has a man too so yeah, she writes such great music, she just seems like an all around great person. Love her and my fave album is reputation.

what’s your favorite teacher you’ve ever had?

This is hard so im gonna put the top 3: NUMBER 1: My 4th grade teacher Mrs. Stone. She was super fun, she let us stand up and walk around during class if we needed to move, she read the first book of my favorite series, a series of unfortunate events, to the class, introducing me to it, and she and the 5th grade teacher had an ongoing prank war that ended up being a thing between the classes too. She moved to Scotland though. shes cool.

My 6th grade history teacher, now the principal of the school. He just made history SO fun, and he loves fanboying over harry potter with me. He’s just such a fun and hilarious person.

My 6th grade math teacher, now works at a performing arts school... teaching math. He had such a soothing monotone voice, i dont even know what was so great about him, other then he used to fanboy over harry potter with me and his voice was soothing. He was a great teacher and he loved making dad jokes and bringing his newborn to school. When he left, he wrote EVERY STUDENT IN THE SCHOOL A PERSONAL HANDWRITTEN GOODBYE NOTE. He had been there for like 10 years.

describe your blog in 3-5 words

Theater-kid-esque

swiftie 

click

kind (ig i say nice things abt random blogs on it a lot so)

what’s a conspiracy you believe in?

nothing comes to mind 

I dont believe in this, but i remember a cray alex jones theory that hillary clinton is the ringleader of a child s3x trafficking ring

if you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

Taylor Swift Lover Stadium tour if it was still happening

if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

NAIL BITING (I AM SO CLOSE)

can you dance? sing?

... can’t really dance without choreography, but I think I can sing. I love musical theater and so therfore i know most the words to a lot of broadway songs, which require a large vocal range, which i practice on a daily basis

what’s something you can’t stop buying?

various types of candy

anything organization

crowds or small groups?

depends I perform for crowds, but am uncomfortable performing for small groups. 

I love hanging out with small groups, but get anxious with large crowds.

how long before a trip do you pack?

for summer camp, literally 2 months ahead i start packing

for trips, usually a couple days, maybe a week

what celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10?

Barrett Wilbert Weed

Taylor Swift

LIZZO

what quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs?

your limitation is only your imagination

if you had to dye your hair an unnatural color right now, what would you choose?

red or yellow

you can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing?

I go to a bigger private school with a better campus (i know which one I want to go to but i wont say) 

how old do you get mistaken for?

14 or 15

what do you think about a lot

Christianity and sin, and interpretation of the bible. For example, i often wonder if watching porn is a sin or not? Not that Im interested in porn, cuz im not, but just is that a sin? 

do you like your hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

Even before I knew I was a Ravenclaw, i thought it was the best. We stan.

what does home mean to you?

The water must not taste weird

I must know how to use the shower

I must love the inhabitants of the building. My best friends house is home. My house is home. My grandparents house is home,

what do you think you’d be arrested for?

murder or jaywalking

have you ever been called down to the principals office?

Yeah, the most recent time was I made a girl mad and I tried to apologize to her but she walked away and her two friends formed a wall around her and hurled insults to me as she cried, and i yelled “WELL IF YOU DIDNT WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE THEN YOU SHOULDNTVE CAUSED A SCENE” and i slapped her

post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

i tagged you in it

describe your aesthetic

dark academia-cottagecore

basically libraries and flowers, kind of a prep feel to it, but more depressing, which boosts my serotonin

answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation

OH, GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME. There’s a back!

feel free to reblog or send me some if you’d like! this took forever so reblog please!

[shirlleycoyle]

This Meme Explains Why TikTok Isn’t Like Any Other Social Media

People think that TikTok is a black hole where teens jump in and memes pop out. To be sure, TikTok has both teens and memes. But the reality is much more structured than it seems.

TikTok is dominated by videos with a very rigid, formulaic structure: a song, a dance. “You Need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift plays, and the person sets up a social scenario that ends with them lip-synching “You need to calm down, you’re being too loud.”

Most of TikTok is like Mad Libs: the specifics of the joke differ, but the punchline is always the same. At any given moment, there’s maybe five to ten sound bites—which could be songs, or original audio recorded by users—that are accumulating the majority of the views, sometimes hundreds of thousands in just hours.

Enter TikTok’s latest genre: point-of-view videos, or POVs. They create scenarios that range from horror, to historical fiction, to teenage fantasies, to the completely absurd. These videos often have little in common aside from the significant role that they assign to the viewer.

The traditional TikTok POV is shot from a first-person perspective, making the viewers the main character of the video. TikToker @porrinate, who identified himself as Adam, told Motherboard, “I think it makes it very personal to the viewer, because the video is through their eyes.”

Adam made a POV captioned “#pov you dont have a lunch at school and i offer you my entire lunch because i want you to be okay.” In this video, the viewer is a student that doesn’t have lunch. Adam speaks directly to them.

“I took it from my own experience, which was like, I didn’t get to eat that much in high school—and if I did, it was from somebody else,” Adam said. “So I would always feel like, people need to be more generous, especially towards those who are really struggling.”

The structure of an app helps decide what kind of posts are more likely to succeed. On Twitter, a blank slate of 280 characters, it’s attention-grabbing, ratio-inviting shit posts. On YouTube, where ad revenue can be low or unreliable, it’s lengthy, vlogger-style videos that are cheap to produce.

Meanwhile, TikTok encourages recycling sound bites which are used by sometimes thousands of videos. This has spawned a culture where people use familiar joke formats, and gently add a little bit of themselves.

By making viewers a part of the video, POVs uniquely allow creators to engage with viewers, and by extension, connect with their peers. POVs leverage TikTok to appeal to shared human experiences of joy, despair, embarrassment, and laughter. For now, at least, it’s something that sets TikTok apart from other social media apps.

Why POVs Could Only Happen on TikTok

People can post videos on Twitter or Facebook, but since users only see content from users they follow, those videos have a limited ability to spread. People who aren’t following you, most often, will simply miss the video you share. TikTok is different because of the app’s For You page, which pushes users to view videos from wide-reaching pool of users (even ones that you don’t follow).

The For You page surfaces posts from across the platform. It’s an algorithmically-generated recommendation feed, catered to each user. Unlike Twitter’s Moments tab or Instagram’s Discover page, which also surface posts from users you don’t follow, the For You opens automatically when a user launches the app. But we don’t know the specifics of how the For You page works. According to TikTok’s listing in the iOS App Store, some opaque mix of app engagementlikes, shares, and comments—dictates what users see.

Most TikToks only have 15 seconds to engage a viewer and maximize their reach on people’s For You pages. That’s a large part of why POVs are successful: they grab the viewer’s attention by pulling them into the plot of the video. The impact is immediate.

“Across different platforms, you think of the different types of cultures that have emerged,” Becca Lewis, an internet culture researcher with Data and Society, said in a phone call. “A lot of that is due to these artificial constraints platforms place on the type of content that gets created.”

The opacity of the For You algorithm has a huge impact on TikTok. If you’re trying to make a popular video, it makes sense to stick to one of the Mad Libs formulas that dominate the For You page on a given day. It’s the act of reaching for the biggest-common-content-denominator in a vast pool of videos whose logic you can’t see.

Here are some memes that are popular at the time of writing:

“Wasabi” by Little Mix plays and people lip sync the lyrics while using TikTok’s “face-tracking” filter, which identifies and zooms in on your face.

“One Jump Ahead” from Aladdin plays and people lip sync the line “Let’s not be too hasty,” and the reply “Still I think he’s rather tasty,” usually while the user pretends to be two different characters.

“No Reason” by YunggTez plays and people act out a situation in which they convey confidence, attitude, and a lack of regard for others.

Nir Eyal, author of Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products, said in a phone call that users won’t make a habit out of an app unless there’s a “variable reward”—or, a variety of entertaining content. Without that variety, users get bored.

“The problem I think that TikTok is struggling with is that they depend on the meme model,” Eyal said. “Because if everybody does the meme the same way, what happens to the variability? It becomes predictable. The predictability makes it boring. Nobody wants to see the meme because they already saw it.”

But POVs are anything but predictable. Instead of appealing to a common meme formula, POVs appeal to a common humanity. They put the viewer into the messy center of an emotional situation.

Take this TikTok by Olivia Giordano, for example. The caption is, “there’s not enough seats at the lunch table today, so you have nowhere to sit.” In this video, the viewer is the person who can’t get a seat at the lunch table. It’s like exposure therapy, violently bringing viewers face-to-face with the shame, humiliation, and sadness of living through this particular situation. But the viewer experiences these feelings in a safe setting: TikTok.

A similar video is captioned, “ur teacher lets u pick partners but u have 2 friends in ur class who partnered up.” In this video, you’re watching yourself try to team up with a friend for a group project, but quickly realize that your friends both chose one another before you.

By acknowledging that these uncomfortable experiences exist, these POV videos lend significance to experiences that young people often have to dismiss in order to get by.

A lot of POVs focus on acting out a true-to-reality situation. For instance, TikTok user @yazdemand made a POV captioned, “#pov your my mirror after My family say that ‘you will always be a boy.’” Viewers watch the private, vulnerable moments of this teenager getting ready. There’s a tension, and you can feel her confidence and apprehension playing out simultaneously. People going through a similar situation can find community.

A Yeet into the Spectrum of POVs

Not all POVs are exposure therapy for the cruelty of being a teenager, or heartfelt experience confessionals. A pillar of the POV genre is the massive selection of videos that rely on humor and sometimes absurdity.

A great example of this is a TikTok captioned, “i’m ur dumb jock crush. you tell me you���re feeling depressed. i try to make it better.” In it, user @idrinkvapejuice acts out the crush’s reply to her admission of depression.

Other videos, like “POV: what my birth control sees when i remember i have to take it” and “POV: im checking ur head for lice (and u have it)” are pretty self explanatory. There’s also videos like “Pov. our eyes meet at the Area 51 raid” (which is a poking fun at a POV formula that starts with “our eyes meet”).

But the POV genre, and TikTok in general, isn’t immune to harassment and hate speech problems that plague social media. Jess Fisher, TikTok user @jess.fisher5 has a recurring TikTok series where she pretends to be the personification of each astrological sign. In her POV video, captioned “#wholesome TAURUS POV,” Fisher acts like the personification of Tauruses, who are generally defined as compassionate, loyal, and sometimes parental.

Fisher said that this POV got an unexpected response: a flood of duets—or new videos that are displayed directly alongside an original video—and comments from old men.

“Not all of them, but a lot of [the comments] were like, ‘I’m gonna rip that shirt off of you,’ and things like that,” Fisher said.

The duets for Fisher’s video exist in a grey area: most of them don’t violate TikTok’s terms of use. It’s not against the rules to duet a video with a suggestive smile and comment. But the response was somewhat violating, she said. (A TikTok spokesperson encouraged users to visit its Safety Center for information about responding to misuse.)

“[The video] did make me think that maybe POV just strikes a chord in people,” Fisher said. “It hits them in a different way than normal videos do.”

POVs Make TikTok Feel Human

Fisher said that POVs make sense in the larger history of TikTok. TikTok, in its original form, was called musical.ly, and musical.ly was dedicated almost entirely to lip-sync videos. Fisher said that the foundation of these lip-sync videos probably lent itself to the creation of the POV genre.

“They could just be lip synching a song with intention, but it’s also like making the viewer feel like they’re being looked at, or being seen,” Fisher said. “The only difference between that type of thing and the POV genre is putting their own dialogue to it and writing it themselves. Like content creation rather than just lip synch.”

Platforms like Facebook often talk about how they want to “bring the world closer together.” But this isn’t easy for any social media platform to accomplish. Often, it seems, meaningful online experiences are built on finding communities with shared experiences.

This is what’s happened with POVs on TikTok. There’s countless different iterations of POVs: there’s humor, fiction, cosplay, fantasy, historical skits, and realistic ones, and there’s innumerable niches that have grown out of these subgroups.

This phenomenon seems to defy the odds: the TikTok For You page, in its seeming randomness, connects people with obscure mutual experiences. The result is something that feels fundamentally human.

This Meme Explains Why TikTok Isn’t Like Any Other Social Media syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[cleocazo]

RYLEX

send me a ship !!

who cries when someone dies in a movie : they both get a lil upset but neither cries that would be showing weakness to each other

who wears the ugly holiday garb : neither celebrate the holidays much but rylie loves the ugly christmas jumper thing so every yr she makes alex wear one for at least one good instagram

who pays for the meals : they split the cost bc that’s how it be

who slams the oven door and who plays the trombone : alex slams the oven door and rylie plays the trombone

who brings home stray animals : rylie has brought home a stray dog or two in her time, but neither makes a habit of it - they don’t really have the kinda jobs that allow for pets 

who leaves the bathroom door open : isn’t that just smth you do when you’re in a relationship and comfy w someone ? both

who tells the ‘dad jokes’ : honestly .. rylie. and the worst thing is that she genuinely entertains herself

who wants kids more : looks into the camera like i’m on the office. rylie never wanted kids until the uh. the incident. but alex i think kinda did want kids n just didnt want them At That Time. so its a weird one. i think in the ideal future where all these questions apply then both of them want kids as much as the other

who travels more : not to make it a habit but they do both have to travel a lot. alex for games, rylie for missions

who spends more cash : alex. he gets used to and enjoys a fairly cushy lifestyle

who buys the things in infomercials : i can see alex watching late night tv and getting so bored that he wastes twenty dollars on a head scratcher or smth

who draws in the dust on their cars : they draw on each others without realizing what the other has done bc that’s how they are

who starts the snowball fights : rylie. she loves when she wins

who throws away the directions to things : A L E X. he’s a MAN. he would wholly trust google maps and or his sat nav to get them where they need to be and throw out the actual paper directions and then complain when they end up in the middle of nowhere bc of his dumbass

who puts up holiday decor : neither. i don’t know but i feel correct in saying alex doesn’t rly care about the holidays, and rylie certainly doesnt. if anyone puts up the decor its their imaginary kids

who is more likely to forget to bathe : disgusting. alex.

who gets more obsessed about things : both can b bad for this, in fairness?

who sings in the shower more often : alex sings taylor swift really badly in the shower and its usually what wakes rylie up so she can join him and they can do something that’s Not singing

how they comfort each other when one of them is upset : u mean, when they’re not the reason the other is upset ? haha. sex is always good for alex. im half kidding. it depends. sometimes its as easy as him being able to rest his head in her lap, or be the little spoon, or just holding her hand. sometimes its not, ya kno ? same for rylie. a lot of the time she just needs to crawl into his lap and be pulled close. sometimes its more complicated. 

who proposed first : ive just realized never once in any of our au’s have we discussed a proposal @ sophia ?? what the fuc ??

who says ‘i love you’ more : both rly struggled w it, but rylie accepted that she loved him first, and i think for a long time, she said it more than he did. but even then when he didnt say it, alex showed that he cared

kisses more : kisses r kinda their thing, tbh. they’re def alex’s fave way of displaying physical affection so him

hugs more : rylie likes hugs so she’s more of the hug kind

drinks more : they are literally both alcoholics

who’s more outgoing : alex but that’s bc he’s always been like. that kinda Guy(tm)

who eats more : alex bc he is a guy

who’s more needy : sigh. i feel like its rylie ?? like. she needs more assurance of their relationship than he ever did. like. in MOST ways, its her. in some ways ig its him but ya mostly her

who’s more kinky : alex is happy so long as he’s orgasming at the end of it so. rylie.

who cooks normally? : nether can be trusted in a kitchen, ever. rylie gets her meals straight from natasha who either keeps a plate warm for her to grab after work on her way home, or preps meals that rylie can microwave over the week. like. if ur stepmother doesnt even trust you not to accidentally poison yourself, its bad ! alex lives on takeout which u wouldnt think based on his physique 

how often do they fight? : depends on the time. when they’re grown and happy its a lot less than when they were angsty and learning how to even care abt someone else

what do they do when they’re away from each other? : their jobs. but they’ll facetime n text n stuff ( and its not ALWAYS dirty ! ), and they’ll watch game of thrones together ( and other shows, like trashy reality tv ) over rabbit, and like.. they try to keep things kinda normal even though they’re not on the same stretch of earth bc they’re apart a lot, and if they didnt it’d be hell.  

nicknames for each other? : aside from the occasional ‘babe’ n whatnot, rylie really just alternates between calling him alex and kaligaris ( if she’s exasperated or mad or smth ) and alex usually just calls her ry

who is more likely to pay for dinner? : they split the bill bc equality

who steals the covers at night? : they’re both really cold people. like. not personality wise. just physically cold. so they’ve learned they need to have two duvets, bc otherwise someone will inevitably steal it

what would they get each other for gifts? : alex’s can range from thoughtful to condoms he bought in the airport coupled with a cheeky grin. rylie’s are usually more sentimental, bc she doesn’t rly agree in gifts without some of that value to them

who remembers things? : rylie’s great at remembering everything from dates to names to faces. alex ? not so much !

who cusses more? : alex is the worst.com for that

what would they do if the other one was hurt? : well. they both conquer their fear of hospitals p quick, thats for sure ! it’s very much a ‘drop everything and get to them asap’ thing - they have to be there, so that they can be with them thru whatever it is. rylie will take care of him for as long as he needs. she’ll try and make him soup and then give up and buy it and she’ll take him to his appointments and make sure that he takes it easy bc lbr its almost always something leg related because of his job and if its not then she still does everything until she’s sure he’s aok. and a lot of the time for alex being w rylie when she’s injured means sitting by her bedside @ the hospital and waiting to see does she actually wak up and every time its hard to know. and then it’s awkward hovering and not rly knowing what to do w her or for her for a while until he has to go back to work and unlike rylie cant take as long as he wants grace and mostly she recovers alone but he’s always there, at first

who kissed who first?: im almost sure it was rylie that kissed alex first but

who made the first move? : it was a mutual first move

who started the relationship? : rylie was the one that needed it. alex didn’t care at the time, but she rly needed that