#but once again I feel like that is ignoring the root cause of the issue

[espinosaurusrexex]

Tough Luck

MiguelO'Hara x Spiderwoman!Reader

summary: Miguel is the most agitating person in all universes, but somehow, you have fallen for him still. Too bad he realized his feelings towards you when it's too late. Now he needs to fix his mistakes.

a/n: yup... I caved. So here is this because Miguel is literally the only person my heart is beating for at the moment 

word count: 2.8k

warnings: mutual pining, idiots in love, Miguel is a wannabe tough guy, some angst, and just a lot of fluff, ! I don't know if all the Spanish phrases are correct - please tell me if not !

･ﾟ✫* 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ｡✭･ﾟ✶ 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑 ✧*･ﾟ

picture is not mine - credid to owner

You pushed through the doors of Miguel’s office and into the hallway with tears burning in your eyes. 

You just wanted to prove yourself. You were capable, a good Spider, exceptional if you could believe Peter B. Parker - but he was a little biased. Yet all you ever got from Miguel was resentment and scolding. 

Not once had he complimented you on a successful mission. Not once had he acknowledged your skills and ideas. Not. Once. 

It was bad enough he was your boss, in a way, and you wanted him to see you belonged amongst all the other heroes in spider society. But of course, through the constant pressure and struggle, your heart had decided to fall for the only person so out of reach - you were sure the universe was laughing at how pathetic it was. 

Because you had a big fat crush on him: Miguel O’Hara. The boss, the big bad grumpy so-sexy-it-hurt guy that seemed to hate your guts. The guy that probably only tolerated you because you were a version of Spider-Man in your universe. 

But he was such a hunk, ugh.

His jaw - so sharp it could cut you if you looked at it for too long, his broad shoulders - those arms, and that deep sexy smolder his mouth did when he was concentrating. All of it sent your body into a frenzy, burning you up from the inside as you tried got fight the urge to jump his bones every time you were in a room together. 

You were so sure to have seen a soft side beneath all the frowns and eye-rolls. Just not for you. 

“I should have never recruited you."

It was embarrassing. The way you so desperately tried to impress him, to have him see you as more than the annoying fuck-up he had to welcome because you were a spider. 

Peter always told you that you did nothing wrong, that Miguel was the way he was with everyone. But it didn’t go past you that his frown seemed to deepen, his eyes rolled a little more, his jaw tensed in anger when he talked to you. 

You never said anything to Peter, though. You didn’t need him to feel bad for you. Not when he had some issues himself and not when all of it was entirely your fault. 

Especially today. 

Okay... you admitted that you had tried to provoke Miguel on the last mission. You figured, if you were to get yelled at anyway, you could just as well do the things you thought the smartest - following protocol or not. It didn’t matter. 

And normally it worked. But this time you had gotten a little distracted. Because as you had swung from the beam of the museum and past Miguel and Jess, the light hit his face just right, making you stare as he angrily squinted at you and causing you to not let go soon enough. It resulted in what felt like a broken rib and maybe a minor head injury. 

But, hey. You’d caught the guy! It was just the exit that lacked grace. 

Not that it mattered anymore anyway. You’d been lacking for over a week now - made so many mistakes, that you'd considered giving up the secret identity thing altogether. It was just exhausting you more - robbing you of valuable sleep (in case it wasn’t plagued with nightmares) and just seemed to be the root of all your problems at the moment. 

You heard Jess call out after you when you pushed through the spider people on your way to a quieter place - ignoring her. 

You just wanted to be alone and not talk to anyone - preferably ever again. 

❁❁❁

It’s just his damn tough luck, Miguel sighed as he shook his head, hands ruffling through his hair. It’s not been enough he had to punish you for flunking the mission, no of course it had come with a generous side of emotional mess. 

Mierda. (shit)

He closed his eyes and could see the tears brimming in yours. How you had tried so hard to stay stoic, how you held your head a little higher when he told you off. But he saw the way your lip quivered when his eyes lit up in angry red - a stutter in his heart he tried to suppress when he pointed a finger at you. 

“What did I tell you? You follow orders or you’re off! I should have never recruited you.” The words still tasted bitter on his tongue. He had gotten too good at it.

Miguel didn’t like it - hated it, in fact, despised the way he talked to you, really. But he had to. For your sake and that of the multiverse. There was no other way.

So there was no use in beating himself up about it, right?

But why did he feel so defeated then? Miguel sighed once more. Of course he knew why, but that didn’t help in the slightest. 

“Hey Bossman, there’s someone on the line for you - should I tell them you need another minute to sulk?”

Miguel groaned at Lyla. Dios mío. (my god)

It’s Jess. It’s got to be.

“Now, what did I tell you about making people cry!” Her voice screamed at him through the monitor and he winced.

“I can do whatever I want!” He snapped back, instantly regretting it as a short but pressing silence covered the room.

Yup. He’s in for a lecture. 

“And she put us all in danger.” His jaw was clenched. 

“She’s a mess! You’d think Spider-Man would have sympathy for someone who just lost their Ben.”

“She– what?” Miguel finally looked up, his heart sinking in his chest - Jess’s stare was scolding him through the flickering hologram. 

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know.”

He didn’t. But he had been so careful, had monitored everything in your universe to make sure you were safe. How could it have slipped past him?

“Oh my god, Miguel!” He could practically see her disappointed, motherly glare. Jess had that one already.

Miguel muttered a curse word under his breath, the Spanish barely reaching Jess. 

“Now’s not the time to beat yourself up about it. I’ll do that for you later.” His eyes squinted angrily. “You need to fix this mess ASAP. I need you on top of your game and apparently, you can’t be without her. So get yo ass up and stop whining!”

“Where is she?” His voice was hoarse, void of the lump he swallowed a minute ago. 

“Her universe–“

“Thank’s Jess.”

“Hey–“ but Miguel had already ended the call. He knew where. He knew everything about you. He knew where you worked, the names of all the employees you associated with, he knew which bagel you preferred for breakfast - he even knew which parts of the paper you read in the morning ...and he also knew where you went to be alone. 

Miguel rose, still kind of catty from Jess’s call-out, and immediately opened a portal to your universe to step through. Miguel knew he needed to apologize. He was determined to - really he was, because the situations he constantly found himself in, the anger and arguing, didn't benefit anyone. 

But when he stood in the streets of your version of Nueva York, pictures of you flashing along the screens on the buildings, celebrating and broadcasting your talent, he came to a startling realization: He couldn’t explain anything without revealing his feelings for you. 

❁❁❁

Miguel watched from a safe distance as you kicked your legs sitting on the edge of the building. It wasn’t the highest building. A rather average-sized one, right by the water with a bakery on the ground floor. 

He analyzed your posture. Hands perched on the ledge and head hanging low, the occasional rocking from the kicking motion. Miguel's fingers itched to reach out and hold you. But he couldn’t. I probably never would.

Because he had spent the last year making sure you’d hate his guts. And - no much to his dismay - he had succeeded. 

He huffed. Miguel had no damn idea how to go about this. He knew the spider society needed you - he needed you. At least close to him. 

The gravel on the roof crunched when his foot stepped from the shadow. Joder. (fuck) You had spider senses, Miguel was wondering why you hadn’t found him out already - then again, you probably just wanted to be alone right now...

His arms wanted to reach forward again, his body emerging from behind his cover ever so slightly. And when he looked back up at you, he winced at your piercing eyes directed at him. ...yes, he deserved that.

You waited, just stared at him - almost daring him to move again.And Miguel felt so small, so out of control. 

He knew he had no right to be here. He had no reason to in your eyes. But he needed to fix things. Or he’d hate himself ...and Jess after she whopped his ass if he came back without you. 

Miguel’s eyes avoided you, willing his rampaging pulse to still. Cállate, corazón estúpido. (shut up, stupid heart)

“What are you doing here?” His hand fell from his chest when you spoke. It wasn’t a friendly question. More of a warning... don’t you come any fucking closer. 

“I–“ But his voice betrayed him. What the hell was he thinking coming here? One look at you told him that nothing would be fixed with a quick apology. He had a year's worth of mistreatment to make up for. And then there was still the thing about his feelings. 

Qué lío. (what a mess)

“I want to talk,” Miguel tried again only for you to become more agitated. 

“I think I heard everything I needed to hear from you.” You spat Turing back around and Miguel nodded defeated. 

“I’m sorry about Ben.”

He saw your shoulders tense, your head hanging a little lower, but you didn’t say a word. 

Miguel knew better than to approach you. You had all right to be angry at him, he had fucked up - big time. But he was too stubborn to accept defeat just yet. You were too important and he hated himself for not seeing it earlier.

“I haven’t been fair to you.” That got your attention.

“Fair?! You haven’t been fair?!” If they could, your eyes would glow red, Miguel was sure. 

He watched timidly as you closed the distance between you - fuming. Maybe this had not been the best approach. 

“You have been nothing but cruel!” Your finger pushed into his chest and Miguel's heart jumped at the touch. “Benching me for minor mistakes, arguing with me about every little decision I make, not trusting me!” You took a breath, your eyes never leaving his. “Yeah, that’s a big one.”

The broad brunette gulped visibly. He knew he was walking into a messy discussion when he stepped through the portal, but his sweaty hands and hammering pulse told him that he was not prepared still. 

“I’m sorry.” It was too quiet, not strong enough to convince you. But he didn’t seem to find his voice in the fire of your wrath. 

“Oh, are you now?”

“Yes, I'm sorry.” Why did he keep saying that? Imbécil. (idiot) It clearly didn’t make things better. 

You shook your head with a huff. “You know what? I’m done with you - with this. You’ve done nothing but made my life miserable.” His eyes cast downward in guilt. He knew that. And he was punishing himself enough already. “And now you come here and think it’s all forgotten with a fucking apology.”

You were right. So right. But Miguel could bring his mouth to open up. It was as if he was cast under your spell. The dreading anger rolling off of you paralyzed him with shame. 

“What I need is respect. Trust. Your having my back.” You smacked your hands against his chest with every word. And Miguel let you. He could have easily withstood, but he deserved to be pushed around. What an absolute asshole he was.

“But you’re not willing to give it to me... to trust me. And the worst part is that I still like you!” 

He wanted to tell you. Show you that he knew he deserved all your rage, but he did not want to interrupt you. Even though his heart– wait a minute. Did you just say you liked him?! 

¡Mierda! (holy shit)

Miguel just stared at you as you kept on punching him, the words you just said seemed to get swallowed in your rage. But he’d heard them. Loud and clear. 

You liked him. Miguel's heart was hammering in his ears, so loud it almost drowned you out. It was as if he had forgotten the situation he was in when his lips twitched upwards and the words just tumbled over them.

“You like me?”

You stopped, looked at him with wide eyes, and then sighed. “Just go please.”

The beating slowed when you turned away again. Miguel tried to call out your name - pull you back. But when he did, he saw the tears falling from your eyes. 

“Please let me explain–“

“What's there to explain? You don’t think I'm capable. Okay fine. I tried to prove you wrong but it’s not getting through your stupid thick head.” Your tears fell relentlessly as the anger covered your features once more. And, again, Miguel just stood dumbfounded and helpless. All he wanted was for you to accept a do-over, to at least settle on neutral ground again. But you were throwing truths at him that hurt more than anything he’s ever endured. It just reminded him how inconsiderate he was. And that there were probably a lot more people that didn't like him. But Miguel didn’t care about those. You were the one important thing. The person he needed around, and safe. And he had messed it up. 

“I don’t know what kind of problem you have with me, why you can’t seem to show me a little human decency, but I’m–“

He didn’t know what came over him when he reached forwards and pulled you into a kiss. The panic had just risen to his head with all the overthinking and screaming. And he knew it wasn’t right to shut you up, but he had tried to think of a way to say what he had wanted to say. But he had come up empty, and the feeling of your lips on his felt a little too good to stop. 

You even kissed him back. He could feel your shoulders relaxing a little - even imagined feeling you tug your arms towards his neck, but before he could register, you had pulled out of his grasp again. 

“What the fuck?!”

“I’m bad at coping mechanisms,” he confessed blushing as you looked up at hun confused and staggered. “I didn’t know how to ignore my feelings for you so I went with the safest option... making you hate me.”

You frowned but at least you let him talk, so Miguel just continued. Whatever the outcome now, he had to get it off his chest. “I wasn’t ready for you. But I can’t hold it any longer it's tearing me apart... hurting you - that was never my intention. I just wanted to make it easier for me.”

“So you made me doubt myself for you to feel better. That’s – wow – not a red flag at all.” You crossed your arms. Though Miguel saw that you wanted him to continue. 

“I am sorry - verdaderamente. (truly) I know it’s not done with these words alone, but I promise to make it up to you... if you'll let me.”

His chest was heaving with nerves when he finished his little speech. And Miguel swore to have seen your eyes soften as you realized how sincere he was. He closed his eyes in the silence overtaking you both and shot a player to the sky. There was only one thing he was wishing for.

“How can I trust you won’t mess up again,” your voice piqued up and his eyes fell back to you. 

“Because it’s tearing me to pieces to see you like this. I know now that it is I who brings misery into everyone's life. For years I thought it was tough luck, but I realize I have fate in my own hands.” He carefully stepped forwards and took your hands in his, squeezing them lightly. He wouldn’t take this for granted. “So, please... let me show you. Give me a chance to change things. Give us a chance.”

You bit your lip debating. Miguel knew the uncertainty you must have felt, the anger and frustration of his ignorance. He would understand if you said no. Shit, he deserved it for all he knew. He wouldn’t stop you, but he would be miserable. 

Miguel squeezed your hands once more, pulling them to his chest to have you feel his heart vibrating in his chest. Por favor. (please)

And then you nodded with a small smile falling on your lips and his heart began to sing. Miguel smiled, pressing a kiss to your knuckles as a happy tear rolled down his face. 

To hell with tough luck - he was the master of his fate. 

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[hugmekenobi]

Next Steps

A Bad Batch Post S2 Oneshot

Gif by @im-no-jedi

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Although your return to the Batch has made things better, there are still elements of your past you have to face...

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, made-up timeline and what I imagine what Echo will be doing, limited use of y/n, swearing, my views on mindsets, referenced 'dead' characters and nightmares, mentions/descriptions of torture, detailed scar descriptions, angst, light fluff, nickname 'sweetheart', some emotional hurt/comfort, body and general worship, Hunter being dominant but a consent king, hint of a praise kink, Smut (non-explicit descriptions of making out/kissing, grinding, edging, fingering, oral (f) receiving, overstimulation, handjob, unprotected p in v- not in reality please), reader described as strong and powerful, smart and beautiful, Force-communication and more of my general interpretation of how the Force feels/works

Masterlist for S1 and S2

Word Count: 12.8K

Rating: 18+

Author's note: Once again, a massive thank you to @burningfieldof-clover for helping me when I got stuck and who I am very grateful to have as a friend! Dropping this before S3 graces our screens and I hope you all enjoy!

Chibbier

Echo waited in the forest clearing as the Marauder touched down. “I got your message. It sounded urgent, is everything alright?” Echo asked as soon as the door to the Marauder opened revealing his two brothers.

“Everything is fine, Echo.” Hunter said.

“More than fine.” Wrecker emphasised.

“But we agreed we weren’t to meet until (Y/N) was back with us so unless you’ve found her…” He trailed off as he saw the smile tugging at Wrecker’s mouth and Hunter in particular seemed more at ease than he’d been in the recent months. “Wait a second, you mean-”

“Hey stranger.” You said with a grin as you came into view and stood between Hunter and Wrecker. You laughed as Echo’s expression changed from stunned to happy then to relief in quick succession. You jogged down the steps and embraced him tightly. “Long time no see.”

“I’ll say.” Echo replied with a smile as he mirrored your actions. “You had me worried.”

“Worried?” You queried. It sounded like he had a specific worry in mind rather than the general worries that had plagued the rest of you for months.

“Last news of you I’d heard had me getting ready to tell the boys to launch a rescue mission.” Echo said as he parted from you. “But lucky for us, they found you before I needed to share that.”

If you weren’t so happy to see him, you could’ve punched him. You weren’t far away enough from the other two and you knew Echo’s words wouldn’t go unheard, especially by the clone with enhanced senses. You hadn’t gotten around to sharing that part of your time alone and you weren’t sure that you wanted to either.

Hunter hadn’t forgotten that there was something about your past that you weren’t telling him. He’d noticed small shifts and changes in your behaviour since you’d been back. It was things like you made sure to keep your top layer on at all times and if you had to take it off, you would always go to the refresher regardless of it you were alone or not which was something you never used to do. You hadn’t communicated with either him or Wrecker in the silent way you were able to do where they’d hear your voice in their head which was something you did regularly in the past. You were also more emotionally and physically distant, the latter happening at night in particular and ordinarily it wouldn’t bother him, but he knew the cause was rooted in something you’d gone through. But every time he tried to broach the issue, you refused to talk about whatever it was that was causing it, and it pained him that he could do nothing but watch the negative impact it continued to have on you.

“What’s going on with, Omega? Any new leads?” You asked Echo instead, ignoring Hunter’s hand that now rested on your upper arm.

“(Y/N)-”

“Not now, Hunter. Please.”

Hunter released a quiet and resigned sigh. He wanted to help you if he could, but he also knew he had to wait until you were ready. It was just getting harder to do that.

Echo glanced between the two of you. “I said something I shouldn’t have, didn’t I?”

You shook your head. “Don’t worry about it. Just fill us in.”

Echo’s eyes darted to Hunter who only nodded. He took a breath and waited for Wrecker to join the three of you. “Nothing new. Imperial security on Hemlock is tight and any breakthrough just results in more cryptic information.”

“Yeah, we’ve had much of the same.” You agreed irritably.

Echo nodded before he faced Hunter. “I know we said that we’d come together once we had (Y/N) back with us, but I think it’s better if I stay doing what I’m doing. Rex and I are going to meet and try to pool together what we’ve gathered. We can tell you what we find and send you to follow up on other sources since we can’t cover everything ourselves and you can also keep searching on your own.”

Before Hunter could form a reply, the sound of branches snapping grabbed his attention.

The blaster bolt that immediately followed the noise, skimmed the armour on your upper arm.

You all reacted quickly and took cover behind the trees.

The onslaught of fire was being directed towards you and would only occasionally be aimed to your fellow clones as a way to keep them from advancing towards the source. Evidently you were the main target here.

“Hunter!” You shouted over the sound of blaster fire. When he pressed his back against the tree trunk and his helmet looked over to you, you called on the Force and dragged the assailant out from their spot, and a well-aimed shot from Hunter saw to it that the blaster was rendered useless. You kept that link with your ally to Force-push them into another tree, and they crumbled to the floor.

All of you lowered your blaster for the moment. You needed to find out why they were here, killing them immediately wouldn’t get you very far.

You stepped out from behind your tree and observed the bounty hunter carefully. Throughout the firefight, you’d felt yourself being pulled towards them, but you couldn’t work out why and that urge hadn’t gone away.

Stiff and unsteady movements had you readying your blaster again but as the hunter got to their feet and caught your eye, you understood why that feeling was there.

Your heart stopped and you stayed rooted to the spot as you saw the blade ignite from the hilt they were holding. The ground around them illuminated in a pale blue haze and you understood what was calling you to the hunter now. Your feet suddenly began moving of their own accord.

The other three all shared a collective bewildered look at what was unfolding in front of them.

Hunter collected his shock quickly and raised his hand to order the others to halt their fire as you fully stepped out to into the clearing.

The bounty hunter charged for you, but the attack posed little threat to you. Whoever this was had no idea how to use an elegant weapon like this and their grip was heavy and clumsy. It wouldn’t take much for you to disarm them.

You ducked under their reckless and uncoordinated swing, grabbed their wrist, and bent it back until the weapon fell from their grasp. You landed a hard kick to their chest, and they stumbled back. The hood fell loose- now exposing a feminine face- but she wasn’t a bounty hunter you recognised. You didn’t have much time to dwell on that since she grabbed a small knife from her boot and jabbed it towards your stomach. You parried away her strikes before you grew tired of dragging this altercation out. Landing a strong punch to her jaw, you used her dazed disposition to Force-pull her face down to the forest floor and waved the others forward.

Hunter and Wrecker pressed their knees into her back and brought her arms around to firmly hold them behind her.

You paid little attention to what they were doing. You hesitantly walked over to the weapon left discarded on the ground.

“Who hired you?” Hunter demanded as he held her down.

“Fuck off.” She snarled as she fought against their grip, but they were too strong, and she was in a much weaker position than she’d been in ten minutes ago.

Echo merely bent down to reach into her jacket pocket and pulled out the tracking fob and bounty puck. Your holographic image confirming what they’d all suspected.

Upon seeing that, Hunter found himself pushing his knee deeper into her spine, paying little attention to her groans of protest.

“Where did you get this?” You questioned softly, more to yourself than anything. You kept your back turned to her as you knelt down and studied the familiar design on the hilt. You couldn’t pick it up, not yet. You knew what you would feel if you did, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

“What?” The bounty hunter snapped as she went for another attempt to wriggle free, but the two clones kept her tight to the forest floor.

You stiffened your posture as you turned on your heels and strode over to her. You lowered your mask, found your voice, and crouched down to her eye level. “Where did you get the lightsaber?” You pointed back to where the weapon still lay abandoned.

“I’m not telling you a thing, Jedi brat.” She spat.

At her words, Hunter twisted her arm harder, ignoring her pained cry.

You signalled to Hunter to ease up and you stood tall once more and indicated to them both to get her on her feet.

Once they did so, you pressed your blaster against her stomach and brought your lips close to her ear- your voice a quiet but lethal whisper. “You know who I am and what I’ve done to people to get what I want. Do you want to be next?” At her harsh gulp, you kept pushing. “I can’t imagine what that’ll do for your reputation in your community... then again, maybe I can… shall we find out?” You knew you’d done enough as you sensed her flicker of fear. You took a step back and looked at her with a firm glare.

“It was the client I did the job for.” She muttered begrudgingly. She wasn’t about to be maimed or die for a job that wasn’t paying all that much in the first place. She’d worked too hard to be seen as a contender, she couldn’t lose that now.

“And who was that?” Hunter asked again, his voice steely.

“Some shop owner.” She replied irritably.

“A name.” You insisted.

“I can’t remember.”

You puffed out an exasperated sigh and took a half step forward.

“Kedrin! His name was Kedrin!” She revealed fretfully.

You saw the shared look between Hunter and Wrecker. “That name mean something to you?”

Wrecker nodded. “He was the one that told us to go to Christophsis to find you.”

The name meant nothing to you upon initially hearing it but evidently you were involved somehow. You ran the information over in your head. Shop owner… Kedrin… Christophsis… it was starting to make sense in your head and that would mean… Your breath caught in your throat as it hit you. You hadn’t even known his name and you’d taken his only family away from him.

“Why set the bounty on her?” Echo asked coolly, keeping his blaster focused on her.

“Not really supposed to ask.” She grunted. “He just mentioned a dead brother.” She saw the flash of something in your eyes… it looked like regret. “Oh… you killed him.”

You glared at her. You hadn’t had time to fill Echo in yet and this was not how you wanted to go about it.

Echo’s eyes darted from her to you. “What is she talking about?”

“Echo…” You started but a cruel laugh from the bounty hunter interrupted you.

“Oh, she’s achieved quite the reputation. Can’t go far in the Outer Rim without coming across someone who had dealings with her.”

Echo angled his head to face you, but you wouldn’t meet his gaze. As hard as you were trying to hide it, you looked… ashamed?

“Back off.” Wrecker growled at the hunter as he saw your mask of composure slip for a moment.

“What’s the matter, Jedi? Suddenly the killing and torture got too much for you? If they were all as weak as you, no wonder they’re all gone.” She taunted mercilessly.

“Shut up.” Hunter snarled as he saw the way your fists clenched as you worked on keeping your distress at bay.

But you knew it was a pointless venture. Despite her current predicament, that bounty hunter arrogance was in full flow now that she’d discovered your weakness, and she wasn’t about to stop. Her stare was filled with malice, but you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of turning away. Your shoulders heaved as you worked on keeping your breathing even and controlled.  

The bounty hunter addressed the clones now. "I didn’t get much guidance from my client aside from ‘kill her’ so ever since I picked up that bounty, I've been trying to think of the most chaotic way to take her out. She's obviously felt enough emotional turmoil that an easy death would be a mercy. Jedi don't deserve the luxury. I like to play with my food before I kill it."

“And how’s that worked out for you?” You retorted though your conviction was weak as her words found their mark and her sneer told you she was completely unbothered about her current situation now. Your only plan involved letting her overconfidence be her own undoing.

“Nice try.” She mocked. “For a moment I believed your threats but now that I’m really looking at you, I know you don’t have it in you to kill me anymore. You’ve gone soft and you’re pathetic I can see it in your eyes- you’re haunted by what you’ve done, Jedi.”

Your jaw clenched and you could feel those emotions you’d worked so hard to control start to rise to the surface.

“I’m getting outta here and I fully intend to finish what the Empire started-”

Hunter’s fatal shot to her chest silenced her and she flopped to the ground.

“Looks like you have something you need to deal with first.” Echo advised Hunter as he destroyed the puck and tracking fob for good measure before he holstered his blaster. He faced you. “I still don’t know what happened whilst you were on your own, but your past is your own, I won’t hold anything against you, we’re still okay.” He reassured you.

You barely managed a nod of acknowledgement as her words were still replaying in your mind, but you wouldn’t let it show. Instead, you took out your vibroblade and cut a section of her clothing. You stayed silent as you took the piece of fabric and wrapped the lightsaber in it. You knew it was a lame gesture- especially since you immediately felt that rush of connection as you lifted it- but it provided you with a false sense of security that you would rather have because the second you made unrestrained contact with it, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist or turn your back on it again. You held the hilt tightly before you waved farewell to Echo and made for the ship.

Hunter nodded absentmindedly at Echo’s words whilst his gaze was fixed on you. He knew seeing that lightsaber might bring back some memories, but the intensity of your reaction told him there was more to it than simply remembering that period of your life. He pulled himself out of his thoughts and reached his hand out to Echo. “Be safe, Echo. We’ll be in touch once we’ve dealt with this.”

“You too.” Echo replied, meeting Hunter’s hand in a firm handshake before they parted, and he watched Hunter head back to the Marauder.

“See you later, Echo.” Wrecker said warmly as he lightly slapped his brother’s shoulder before he followed Hunter to the ship.

--

“What’s so special about this lightsaber?” Wrecker asked as the ship entered hyperspace.

Hunter leaned against the entrance to the cockpit, arms crossed as he studied you. Your eyes hadn’t left the weapon sitting in your lap.

“It’s mine.” You said quietly.

Hunter immediately straightened up. “It’s yours?” He repeated.

“Yup.” You cleared your throat and brought your eyes up to face the two clones. “I figured it would’ve been destroyed in Order 66. Guess not.” You said with a resigned sigh.

“Woah! Talk about lucky!” Wrecker said excitedly but you didn’t seem to match his enthusiasm. “This is good news, isn’t it?” He asked, tilting his head at you.

“I don’t know what kind of news it is, Wrecker.” You said honestly.

“What’s your hold up?” Hunter asked curiously.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty handy weapon to have and if it belongs to you, isn’t it better that it’s back with you?” Wrecker followed up.

“It’s difficult to explain.” You deflected.

“Try us.” Hunter encouraged gently.

You shot him a look, hoping he would drop it but the look in his eyes told you that he was not for dissuading. You released a short breath. “It would be like taking back a section of my life I was ready to leave behind. That I had left behind… for years.”

“And you don’t know if you’re ready to reconnect with that part of you yet?” Hunter guessed.

You shrugged in complacent agreement. “Making the choice to leave the Jedi Order was already difficult and leaving my lightsaber…. well, that was hard enough the first time and now that I have it back… I don’t know.” You ran a hand over your face. “It’s just complicated.” You got to your feet and carefully put the lightsaber on a shelf in the cockpit.

Wrecker slapped his hands against his thighs. “Well, I always think things look less complicated after a good sleep, what do ya say? We all could use some rest before we sort out this Kedrin guy.”

Sleep didn’t provide you with much respite these days, but you hummed out a quiet laugh and shared a brief smile with Hunter. “Sounds like a good idea, Wrecker.”

--

Hunter jolted awake, panic setting in as he reached for you only to find that you weren’t there, and he had a horrible feeling that he hadn’t woken up yet. But no, he could hear Wrecker’s faint snores, so he had to be awake, and he knew he was back with you, it wasn’t a trick. There would be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t lying next to him right now.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. You were here, you’d been here for a while now. He’d found you; you were okay. It wasn’t like before. You were probably just in the cockpit. Yes, that’s where you had to be.

When he felt himself calm down, he got to his feet and noiselessly made his way there but paused in the entryway as he saw you reading one of Tech’s old datapads, top layer still on, feet tucked up beneath you as you sat in the pilot’s seat. He thought he’d gathered them all. “Where’d you find that?” He rasped; his voice still thick with sleep.

You jumped in your chair as you heard him. You had been utterly absorbed in what you were reading, you hadn’t sensed him approach. You looked up to see Hunter standing in the doorway to the cockpit. “Tucked behind the medkit. I forgot how much Tech truly recorded.” You said in fond remembrance although there was an overall sense of sorrow in your voice. You flashed him the title of the current report you were reading. “Remember that mission on Ryloth?”

“You and Wrecker got separated from the rest of us and decided to blow up the target from the inside and escape through the garbage chute if I remember correctly?”

“Right.” You said with a soft chuckle.

“Pretty sure that was the mission that made you a fully-fledged member of our squad, Wrecker couldn’t stop raving about you after that. I was almost jealous.” Hunter managed to joke.

You gave him a small grin at that before you turned off the datapad and properly took him in. “Guess you couldn’t sleep either?” You asked in a hushed voice as Hunter stepped further into the cockpit.

Hunter merely shook his head and sat across from you.

“Nightmares?” You figured as you delicately put the datapad back and sat in your seat once more.

“I prefer calling them recaps.” Hunter muttered dully as he sat across from you.

You reached for his knee and squeezed it comfortingly. “Do you want to talk more about them?”

Hunter shook his head. “You know and lived it all too and being here with you helps anyway. What about you?”

“Just a lot weighing on my mind.” You said airily as you brought your hand back to your lap.

Hunter made a small noise of quiet understanding. He hadn’t been expecting much more by way of a response from you.

“I don’t know how he does it.” You whispered in sad envy as you jutted your chin over to where Wrecker was sleeping soundly.

Hunter followed your gaze and sighed. “It’s the only way he can switch off. Especially in the early months, he struggled with remembering everything.”

“Yeah, any form of healing from all this won’t be easy.” You said with a heavy breath.

“Wrecker might be able to sleep better than we can, but he keeps a blaster by him and has his hand on it at all times. I don’t think he ever wants to be caught off guard again.” Hunter replied solemnly. “Moving on won’t ever be simple.”

You dipped your head in agreement and leaned back in your chair.

The minutes ticked by and the two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while before Hunter cleared his throat. “I’m going to be selfish for a moment, okay?”

You tilted your head at him and adjusted your posture to give him your full attention. “Okay…”

Hunter took another breath, his throat bobbing before he spoke, “You can’t leave me to wake up alone like that.”

It hit you immediately. Fuck, you’d been an idiot, of course you couldn’t do that. If he’d done that to you, you would lose your shit. How could you have been so stupid? “Hunter-”

“I had one night too many of waking up to a cold and empty space and worrying about where you were and what was happening to you. I can’t go through it again, I won’t. Not anymore.”

You’d been so wrapped up in your own head, you hadn’t even considered what that would do to him, but you should’ve known better, especially because your reaction would be exactly like his. You quietly stood up and closed the short gap between you to straddle his lap.

He accommodated you in an instant and his eyes fluttered shut as you gently stroked your fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry.” You soothed as you placed delicate kisses to his face whilst you moved your hands to rub up and down his chest, his sleep clothes warm and soft beneath your palms.

Hunter caught your wrists and tenderly caressed the scars left there as a result of what you’d endured in Cid’s parlour. “I barely lived through it once and I won’t do it ever again. I don’t care what time it is, if you’re up and struggling with something you wake me up with you. I’d rather that than wake up without you and have that pain and panic set it again. Promise me… please.” He begged, brushing some strands of hair back behind your ear as his eyes looked deep into yours.

You nuzzled into his neck and placed a gentle kiss on his pulse point. “I promise.” Your lips traced his jaw. “And you promise too.”

“I promise.” Hunter agreed and he tucked his fingers under your chin and brought your lips to his.

You had wanted to keep it short and sweet, but you soon found yourself physically incapable. One gentle nip from him on your bottom lip and you were done for. The kiss soon turned hungry and desperate. The two of you were consumed by a passion you’d had no outlet for yet, and you were getting completely lost in the moment. Your hands threaded themselves in his hair and you pressed yourself against him as he deepened the kiss and squeezed your hips to get you to subtly grind against him which were instructions you were only too happy to follow.

It was all over though when you felt his hands start to reach the bottom of your shirt and brush against your bare skin. Instinctively, you flinched away, and you crashed back to reality. You knew what marks you were concealing, and what he would feel if he lifted your shirt, and it wasn’t something he should have to see. “I- I can’t.” You panted against his lips. Your body yearned for him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go any further, not yet. Everything was still too fresh, and you couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted to.

Even though his body burned for you, he’d never push you into this, but he wanted to share the burden of whatever it was that was tormenting you. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened to you?” Hunter murmured breathlessly as he glanced up at you.

You swallowed thickly. “I want to but-” You released a low, shaky breath. “It’s- it’s hard to talk about.”

Hunter stroked your cheek. “Well, when you’re ready, I’ll be right there.”

You pressed your lips into his palm.

“Come on, let’s try to get some rest. We’ll arrive at Nelvaan in a few hours.” He kissed your forehead before you got to your feet and the two of you made your way back to your bunk.

--

“Y- you’re supposed- supposed to be dead!” Kedrin exclaimed fearfully as he cowered behind the main counter upon seeing you standing in the doorway of his shop, the two clones on either side of your shoulders.

“You should’ve sprung for a better bounty hunter then.” You countered as you walked towards the store owner. “I have some questions for you.”

“No, I’m not dealing with any of you ever again!” Kedrin reached underneath the counter and pulled out a blaster and pointed it at you.

You stopped your advance and raised your hands in surrender. “Kedrin, I just need to talk to you.”

“Fuck you! You don’t get to use my name and talk to me like what you did to me was nothing!”

You internally cringed at the memory of what you’d put him through.

“Did you even know he was my brother?!” He shouted in anger. “Did you even care, you heartless bitch?!”

Hunter tensed beside you.

You lightly grazed his hand with your own to tell him it was fine but at the same time shame coiled in your gut. You lowered your mask and kept your voice low and composed. “Kedrin-”

“Stop using my fucking name, you never bothered with it before!” He then turned his rage to the clone that stood closest to you. “And you! I still have the scar from you!” He yelled at the clone on your right, the blaster in his hand still quivering as he aimed it between the three of you.

Hunter stood unwavering beside you and said nothing.

You saw how unsteady his grip on his blaster was. “You’re not a killer, Kedrin. It’s why you sent the bounty hunter after me in the first place.” You said as an attempt to talk him down but the Force around him was in complete chaos, the only emotion that had any kind of control was his anger and that was dangerous. You knew the kind of pain and wrath the loss of a loved one could unleash, and it was why you’d never wanted to put anyone through it in the first place but now you were seeing the impact of your mistake firsthand.

“You killed my brother you fucking bitch!”

You sensed him getting ready to pull the trigger. “Kedrin-” You ducked as the blaster bolt came straight for your head. You channelled the Force and took the blaster from his hand whilst Hunter and Wrecker used that distraction to advance and subdue him. They shoved his head and torso down to press against the countertop.

“Do you want one to match?” Hunter threatened as he reached for his vibroblade and held the sharp point just above Kedrin’s unmarked hand as he and Wrecker held him down.

“Hunter, it’s okay.” You said, pulling him back from that line the two of you had agreed to keep each other from as you saw the way his grip strengthened and the wince of pain Kedrin couldn’t conceal.

Kedrin kept looking for a way out of their hold but was proving futile. “She murdered my brother.” He whimpered as he continued some half-hearted attempts to free himself.

“You’re right. I did.” You approached him and crouched to meet his eyeline. “And it was a mistake that I’m plagued by to this day. All I can do is say that I’m sorry. I know you’d love nothing more than to kill me too, it would probably feel great but please, please Kedrin, don’t do this. It won’t end well for you.” You begged. When his resistance finally ceased, you turned your attention to Hunter.

“Give us a minute.” You said to Hunter, resting a hand on the top of his shoulder.

“But-” Hunter got ready to argue.

“Hunter.” You interrupted firmly and fixed him with a stern stare.

Recognising that tone and look in your eyes, Hunter released a disgruntled but compliant sigh and nodded to Wrecker to let him go. He holstered his blaster and sheathed his vibroblade before leading the way out.

As you heard the door shut, you stepped back from the counter to give Kedrin some space. “You have no reason to trust me, but I promise that I’m not going to hurt you, that’s not why I’m here.”

“You’re- you’re not here to kill me for the bounty hunter?” Kedrin asked warily.  

You shook your head. “There was a time where that’s what precisely I would do and I wouldn’t even hesitate, but you’re not the person I’m supposed to be hurting and neither was your brother. I know nothing I say will bring you comfort but I am not here to kill you. I only want to talk.” You said sincerely as you put your weapons to the ground and faced him calmly.

Kedrin massaged his right shoulder- which had been on the receiving end of a particularly harsh grip from the clone you referred to as ‘Hunter’- and narrowed his eyes at you. “What is it exactly that you want to talk about?”

“This.” You placed the lightsaber on the counter and unwrapped it. “Where’d you get it?”

Kedrin wasn’t buying that that was all you wanted to know about, you had to be here for revenge. “How do I know you won’t do some magic thing like you did last time?”

You released an irritated sigh. “Because if I was going to do that, I would’ve done it already. I won’t lie, I can’t leave here with you still intent on sending hunters after me or I will have to do some things neither of us will enjoy, particularly you. I will always regret taking yours away from you, it was never part of my plan to leave someone alone, but my family is still counting on me, and I can’t have anything messing that up. Please, leave us alone and I’ll never bother you again after this.”

Kedrin angled his head and regarded you inquisitively. His body was still filled with fear of being alone with you, but it was like there was a different person standing before him- you seemed genuinely upset and sorry; and that in of itself would be punishment enough- better you feel the guilt of what you’d done than have an easy out. “You’re the most terrifying person I’ve ever met but for some reason, I believe what you’re saying. No more bounty hunters.”

You felt into the Force around him but there was no dishonesty or deceit. “The lightsaber?” You redirected his attention to the weapon on the counter.

Kedrin shrugged. “What about it?”

“Where did you get it?” You repeated impatiently.

Kedrin flinched at your tone and- not wanting to risk upsetting you any further- started wiping down some glass cases to channel his nervous energy and spoke quickly. “I’ve had it for a while, couldn’t tell you who gave it to me. Just that they were employed to be a part of the clean-up after your lot betrayed the Chancellor and found it and wanted a souvenir of the experience.”

You coughed and bit back the flurry of insults and threats that nearly escaped your mouth.

Kedrin, now so focused on his task that he was oblivious to your discomfort, carried on in a restless ramble, “Guess they ran into tough times during the transition period and wanted rid of it for some quick cash. No one really wanted to buy it though, it just sat there which was why I gave it to that bounty hunter.”

You felt your heartbeat thundering in your ears as you realised what this could mean for you. Leaving it behind had been an active choice to cut part of yourself off from the Force and now you had a chance to feel the Force flow through you as a single entity, no more jagged or disjointed connections… but you didn’t know if you were ready for that yet, it was too much to even comprehend. If it had survived everything and found its way back to you… did that mean that you could too?

“So, um are you going to pay for it?” He dared to ask but your sharp and cold glower had him gulping nervously and wringing his hands. “Uh, never mind, you can take it.” He said hastily. “Just let us be done with each other.”

You said nothing to him, you only covered it once more, picked up your other weapons and exited the shop.

--

“Everything okay?” Hunter asked as you emerged from the store.

“We were going to go get some supplies if you want to join?” Wrecker added.

“I need a moment. You guys go.” You said, giving Wrecker your concealed lightsaber and avoiding eye contact with them both as you hurried back to the Marauder.

--

Having found a moment of relief under the warm water, you got out of the shower and started to towel off and redress but as you pulled your tank top over you, you realised you’d left your long sleeve out by your bunk. You swore under your breath and only hoped the other two would take a bit longer on the supply run. You dashed out the door of the refresher and started to rummage through the bunk for it.

“Who did that to you?”

You whipped around to see Hunter stood frozen in the entryway to the Marauder. “Dammit Hunter-”

“Who did that to you?” He repeated heatedly, his concern and rage rising each second. The sight of the deep and cruel scars that disappeared from your upper back beneath your shirt to the rest of your back was engrained in his mind and any plans of waiting for you to come to him evaporated as his anger and protectiveness overcame him.

Wrecker stepped up beside his brother, put the supplies down and your weapon on a shelf. He nervously glanced between the two of you and it didn’t take an enhanced skill for him to pick up on the way Hunter was trembling with fury. “Eh, what’d I miss?”

Hunter ignored him and kept his eyes on you. “Who was it?”

You turned back around to grab your shirt and it was then that you heard Wrecker’s sharp inhale as he too now saw what it was Hunter had seen. You fiddled with the fabric, twisting it tightly in your hands. “It wasn’t like it was solely one person. Just forget about it.” You muttered aloofly.

“No, I can’t just forget about it. Who. Hurt. You?” 

You sighed heavily and half-turned to face the two clones. “It was a two for one special.”

“Don’t.” Hunter chided sternly. He couldn’t have you make light of this, not when he’d seen what you’d gone through now. He couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer anymore and, as awful as a part of him found it, he had to push you now.

There was no leeway in his voice, you weren’t going to be able to dodge and weave your way out of this conversation now. “Basically, it was both Imperial Stormtroopers and their higher command officers.” You swallowed harshly. “They- they worked together on this one.”

Hunter simply stormed away from you to the ship’s controls. “Wrecker, let’s get the ship in the air.”

“You’re going to go after every Imperial officer and stormtrooper in the galaxy?” You scrappily tugged your top layer over you and hustled after the two of them as they strode into the cockpit.

“If I have to!” Hunter growled.

“I’m with the Sarge on this one.” Wrecker agreed severely as he started to power up the ship.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the thought but that’s not logical nor practical!” You argued.

“Don’t talk to me about practicality when they did that to you!” Hunter shouted angrily.

“It was my fault, Hunter!” You yelled back.

That caused both of them to pause and Wrecker turned off the engine.

“I did it to myself.” You said, your voice scarcely above a whisper as you braced yourself for the time you were about to relive.

“What are you talking about?” Hunter asked, his voice as quiet as yours now as he studied your face carefully.

“Before I tell you, I need you both to stay calm. Especially you.” You said to Hunter. You knew he wasn’t mad at you; his reaction had been exactly as you’d expected. His fierce protectiveness was a quality you loved about him, but it could be his undoing if he wasn’t careful. “And you need to know and accept that nothing would’ve changed it, it wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I acted in poor and emotional judgement and there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent it. Please, trust me on this.” You insisted with a pleading stare at him before you looked to Wrecker who- albeit hesitantly- nodded. You glanced to Hunter again who was still looking like he could take on the Empire singlehandedly. “Hunter?”

Hunter felt a keen sense of dread at your words, and it was highly likely he wouldn’t be able to view it quite as simply as that, but he allowed himself a deep and calming breath. He’d do this for you. “Tell me.”

You exhaled nervously and fidgeted with your hands. Realistically, you’d known you wouldn’t be able to go through the rest of your life without being found out or talking about it but that didn’t make doing this any easier. “I’m sure I don’t really have to go into how hard it was to find each other, right? I’m sure you guys had your fair share of failed leads and things were pretty hopeless for a while, yes?”

Hunter and Wrecker both nodded.

You took another breath. “Right, well, it was the same for me. During our time apart, nothing I did was getting me any closer to you and I could feel it draining me every day. Lyra and I arrived on Christophsis and decided to settle there but it didn’t help. No matter how hard I searched, no matter how much of myself I gave up when it came to getting what I wanted, nothing was bringing results, and I was angry. I was angry, frustrated and just miserable. And it was in that poor state of mind that I made a choice that I shouldn’t have.”

Hunter knew those emotions all too well and he’d get incredibly impatient and unfocused when they got overwhelming, but he’d been fortunate to have Wrecker around to pick up the load when it got too much. Yes, you may have had Lyra, but he knew you and how you operated, and you would’ve put it all on you, regardless of how exhausting it would’ve been and that’s what made him nervous as he awaited further explanation.

You shuffled your feet. “I was being a bit of a nuisance to the Empire wherever I went, Christophsis was no exception, but I was getting nowhere on the information front so, in my slightly unstable state, I figured the best way to find out about you or even Hemlock was to um well, find it straight from the source.”

Hunter’s heart skipped a beat. “No, no you didn’t.”

Wrecker looked between the two of you in confusion but then it clicked with him too and he stared at you, horrified. “Why would you do that?”

You swallowed thickly. “I thought that by handing myself in, I would be able to get the information I was needing. I figured they would have some form of intel on you I could use.” You huffed irritably as you remembered how foolish you’d been. “Turns out they were a lot smarter than I gave them credit for and they sussed out my plan pretty quickly.”

You winced as Hunter threw his helmet and it crashed against the wall. You expected no less but you needed to reign him back in if you had any chance of recounting the whole story. “That’s not staying calm.”

Hunter got to his feet and paced; his distress evident. “We were on your trail! If I’d been faster and picked our sources more carefully, you wouldn’t have had to-” Hunter seethed. How could he have failed you so badly? You’d put yourself through hell for their sake and if he had gotten to you sooner, you wouldn’t have had to have gone through this.

“Hunter, no.” You shook your head to stop him from putting the blame on himself. “The whole reason I did it was because the trail was running cold, and I was desperate. It was all on me. and I’m not done explaining this yet and it doesn’t get better, but you can’t do this. I understand and appreciate where it comes from, but it won’t help now, okay? Just let me finish it.”

Hunter clenched his jaw but did as you asked. He sat back down and nodded at you to continue but he was helpless to stop the anxious shaking of his leg.

You gritted your teeth as you prepared yourself for what you had to do next and any levity that you’d previously been forcing into your voice vanished. “Since they knew what I was and some of the general history between all of us, it’s like I said, they were aware of what I wanted, and they definitely weren’t up for giving it to me. They finally had me under their control, and they were very good at making sure I wasn’t getting away any time soon. Honestly, they were pretty creative with their methods and I’m sure some of them found doing what they did to me quite therapeutic.” That dismissive attitude slipped back in at the end without you meaning to. Frankly, you probably wouldn’t have noticed it if it weren’t for the sharp and worried looks from Wrecker and Hunter. You mentally checked yourself before you proceeded.

“Where they showed their inexperience however was when they got frustrated at how little I gave them. I don’t think they realised how hard it would be to crack someone like me. Their fists, their whips, their electrostaffs… it all hurt but it wouldn’t get me to talk. So, they went for something different, and that was what got them quite close.” You stopped again and found yourself touching the small pinprick scar as you remembered the sharp sting and then the complete haziness that would follow that would render your completely susceptible to anything they would do and say. “Whatever concoction they’d inject into my neck when they got bored or too tired from physically hurting me was nearly impossible for me to resist and that was a terrifying experience... I was having to fight my own mind while they happily watched on. That interrogator droid would enter, and- and my body would go cold with fear every time.” You paused for a chance to gather yourself and squeezed your eyes tight to rid yourself of the memories of that dark, cramped room they would take you where you were helpless to their cruelty and the last thing you would clearly recall would be the whirring of that droid approaching you.

You took another breath before you continued to speak. “That was what came close to breaking me and they worked that out. Every day they would inject me with that serum to make me submit to their words and they would tell me you were right outside. They- they would tell me that I would see- see you all again if I only told them how much I knew about Omega and where I was hiding…. And every day I would have to remind myself that it was all a lie… that you weren’t there, and I couldn’t reveal anything since that would put Lyra in danger too.” You released a shaky breath. “Or they’d try to convince me that you were going through the same thing I was and- and it was my fault and to get- to get it to stop I would have to tell them everything.” You felt a lump form in the back of your throat, but you forced yourself to talk through it. “They could beat me all they wanted but that was the thing that actually left a mark… these scars merely came with the territory.”

A troubled silence fell upon the walls of the Marauder as you finished. You picked at some imaginary lint on your leggings as a way to bring your emotions under control.

Hunter felt sick to his stomach. He could’ve saved you or made it so putting yourself in that position would never have needed to seem like a viable option. You’d needed him and he hadn’t been there. He’d let you down.

You caught a glimpse of his expression changing from anger to defeated sadness and he didn’t need to vocalise those thoughts; you were perfectly aware of what would be going through his head. “It’s okay.” You mouthed silently to him.

You shouldn’t be the one comforting him. A broken and anguished sigh left his throat. Okay? How was any of this okay? You’d subjected yourself to torture for them and had carried the burden of it by yourself for so long.

“How’d you get away?” Wrecker asked in quiet upset as he imagined you experiencing that.

You coughed and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. “Truth be told, it gets a bit blurry near the end. I…” You trailed off and frowned as you worked on accurately recalling what had gone down the day you got out. You hesitantly started your explanation again. “I remember overhearing that they were going to send me off world to a high security prison and I couldn’t have that. The trooper who put the cuffs on me to take me back to my cell was a rookie, I think he figured I was unconscious, so he used the regular ones that didn’t restrict my Force-wielding abilities. Then the dizziness and blackouts set in, I remember finding the strength to take him out, but I don’t exactly know how I proceeded from there. The next thing I do remember was collapsing outside the door to where we were living and Lyra dragging me inside.”

“Hunter?” You looked to him since he hadn’t said anything yet.

Hunter’s throat had gone so dry, he couldn’t summon words immediately. All that was racking through his head was how he could’ve prevented this and how he should’ve been there to save you. You never should’ve been the one to drag yourself out of that hellhole. The protective part of him wanted to find a way for you to come up with any identifying features that could assist in hunting down those who’d inflicted that pain on you but despite all you’d relayed to them, he was calmer now and he knew that wasn’t what you wanted. He may have failed you then, but he wouldn’t now. His focus now lay in what he could do for you now but there was an element to the explanation he was missing and once he had that, everything else could fall into place. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He murmured instead.

There was no accusation in his eyes, no pointedness or blame in his tone. You knew he just wanted to understand, and it was a fair question. “I was working on compartmentalising it; it was just going badly. And-” You stopped yourself from continuing and instead just started to back away. “Nothing.”

“And what?” Hunter pressed as he got to his feet and caught your hand before you could step away any further.

You shook your head. “It’s a stupid reason, I shouldn’t care about it.”

“Nothing you’re feeling about this is stupid. I might be able to help, you only need to tell me.” Hunter prompted tenderly as he stroked the back of your hand with his thumb.

You regarded him carefully, attempting to find some deception or falseness in his tone so you didn’t have to say it but, unsurprisingly, you didn’t find any. You bit your lip before speaking, “I didn’t want you to have to see them. They’re- they’re not exactly nice to look at.” You muttered as you dipped your head to stare at the floor.

The fact that that was even cause for concern felt like a punch to the gut but at least there was something he could do about it. He may not be able to go after the Imperials like he wanted but he could help you realise that was a non-issue for him and one that hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Wrecker, take a walk. I’ll be in touch when you can come back.” Hunter ordered his brother.

Wrecker wasn’t about to question him, so he did as he said. He rested a gentle hand on your shoulder in comfort. “Thank you for telling us.” He said before he left the ship.

You went to address Hunter, but he spoke first.

“Turn around.”

Your brow furrowed but you couldn’t deny the warmth that bloomed in your stomach at his words. “What?”

“Turn around.” Hunter repeated, his tone quiet but filled with dominance.

Despite your lingering questions as to what exactly it was that he wanted, you found yourself doing as he instructed. You could feel the heat in your stomach start to radiate throughout the rest of his body. Each steady thump of armour hitting the ground had goosebumps rising on your skin in anticipation and you felt him crowd your back and rest his chin in the space between your neck and shoulder.

Hunter kissed the sensitive spot behind your ear and as he felt you relax into him; he slowly grabbed the hem of your long-sleeved layer and lifted it over your head and dropped it to the floor of the ship. He didn’t let his eyes fall to the scars yet. Instead, he caressed the trail of goosebumps on your arms and continued to pay close attention to your neck, softy nibbling the areas that he knew would make you weak at the knees.

He could play your body so well; it was like the two of you hadn’t been parted for as long as you had been. You could feel yourself growing more and more compliant to his touch and desire coursed through your body. You only snapped out of it when you felt his touch go lower and he tugged the bottom of your vest top. You went stiff and immediately grabbed his hands in a panic. “Hunter, no. You-”

“Easy.” He soothed as he pressed delicate, featherlight kisses to the back and each side of your neck. “Trust me.” He rasped against your skin, but he waited for your signal.

You released a low, unsteady breath. You couldn’t live in this state of fear and shame forever. You trusted him with everything you had and that was why you felt yourself letting go of his wrists. Your breathing grew uneven, and your body trembled as you felt his bare hands graze underneath your vest top before, they held onto the hem of it.

“Relax… it’s okay. You’re okay now. Let me see.” He encouraged gently, only lifting when he saw you nod your permission.  

His gaze finally dipped to your bare back, and he had to fight to keep his breathing calm as he felt his heart shatter once he saw the full extent of what had been done to you. Your back was a map of merciless and vicious scars, and he wanted nothing more to take away the pain they’d caused you and inflict it on his own body. But that was the only effect they had. He was not repulsed, not repelled by the sight of them. They did nothing to ruin his physical perception of you. You were every bit as beautiful to him now as you had been when he first met you on Devaron all that time ago. “You’re exquisite.”

You refused to believe that. These were different to the scars you were both used to that came with the impact of battle and you were under no illusions as to how unsightly they were. You went to turn to face him so he wouldn’t have to keep looking at them and to protest his words, but he sensed that and beat you to it.

“These do not define you. They do not define my view of you. You are strong, you are capable, and you are a force to be reckoned with and that is why I love you.” He started to lightly touch each one. “No amount of scarring is going to change that. You. Are. Beautiful. I will be there to remind you of that whenever you need it.” He pressed his mouth to the space between your shoulder blades.  

Your body trembled under his touch and his sincerity threatened to overwhelm you. “Hunter-” You managed to choke out.

“I would tear the galaxy apart for you, if you wanted me to.” He hummed against your skin as he continued to trail his lips down your back, worshipping every mark that had been left on you so as to leave a new association with them now. “But I know that’s not what you need.”

A quivering breath left your lungs at his words and ministrations, and you knew you felt the same way. But it was because the two of you were aware of that line that your relationship worked so well- you could balance the sentiment with intent. You could feel him starting to make his way back up your back.

“So, what is it that you need?” He hummed into your ear before he placed his hands on your waist and sucked a mark over the tiny scar that rested on your pulse point.

You groaned and braced your hands on the wall that formed the entryway to the cockpit as you felt your knees buckle.

“Tell me, sweetheart. Tell me and it’s yours.” He asked again as his fingers started to dip beneath the waistband of your leggings whilst he pulled your earlobe between his teeth.

You knew exactly what it was, it was all you ever really needed. “You.” You gasped and you swore you felt him smile against your skin.

“You have me… always.”

You couldn’t hold out any longer, you turned around and crushed your lips against his with a groan and pushed him to the wall of the entrance to the cockpit. If he was taken aback by your abruptness, he didn’t show it as he matched your enthusiasm immediately, one hand coming to firmly grip your exposed waist whilst the other tangled itself in your damp hair, a desperate and eager noise leaving him as he got to feel your body press against his.

As you kissed him, your hands fisted his shirt and you pulled insistently but made no moves to actually step away to remove it, you were too addicted to the feeling of having him this way again… yet you needed to feel his skin against yours which is why you were thankful that he had enough willpower to separate himself from you and take it off himself.

The two of you breathed heavily and the air was thick with tension, but you were too focused on looking at what rested just past his collarbone. You hadn’t allowed yourself to check if he had held onto it for fear of what it could mean if it was gone, and your breath hitched. You touched the black leather cord and traced the small Jedi Order symbol on the end. “You- you kept it?”

“Of course, I did.” He softly uttered, if a little out of breath. He cradled your face in his palms. “What do I have to do to make you see what I see in you?”

Any answer died on your lips, and he passionately reconnected his mouth to yours, using your surprised gasp to deepen the kiss before he stepped away from the wall and started to direct you both down the narrow hallway to your bunk, muscle memory mapping the way as neither of you were content to separate to make the walk any easier.

A trail of clothes was left in your wake as you made your way to your bunk.

Hunter gently laid you down, his lips never parting yours before he patted your hip to get you to be on your front.

You still found yourself feeling reluctant. His beautiful brown eyes were laden with lust but there was also a deep and devoted sense of care behind them which was why you complied with his request. You trusted him.

Hunter went back to what he’d done earlier as he left delicate kisses to every scar that donned your back. What you endured was something no one should ever have to but what he could do now was make sure you knew that you didn’t need to hide them for the sake of other people- especially him- any longer. “You never have to worry about these. All that matters to me is that you’re here now, you got away, and you will never end up back there. More scars don’t have the power to change how I feel about you, nothing does. I love you for all that you are.” He planted a kiss to the base of your spine before he got you on your back to face him.

Hunter wiped away the salty tears that had escaped your eyes and nudged the side of your nose with his. “I love you. Always.”

“Always.” You repeated hoarsely as you were overwhelmed by the emotions that came crashing to the surface. You stroked back the smaller bits of hair that frequently slipped past his bandanna. 

Hunter kissed your cheek before leaving a trial of kisses along your jawline whilst his hand slowly made its way down your body to rest between your thighs.

Your legs parted for him on instinct and your hips bucked into his touch and a soft moan left your throat.

His voice took on a low purr as he moved his fingers. “Here’s how this is going to work: I am going to tell you everything that I love about you which you are then going to repeat and… if you don’t…” He stopped and took his hand away as he saw that familiar expression on your face, and he couldn’t help the slight smirk that tugged the edges of his mouth as that expression turned into an affronted pout. “I stop.”

Your eyes widened at the very clear implications of what he had in store for you.

“Or this doesn’t have to go any further and we stop now.” He offered sincerely.

No, you didn’t want that. It had been too long, and you needed him like your lungs needed oxygen. You could do this. You nodded your consent.

Hunter angled his head to press his lips against yours before he started to move his fingers again, hungrily swallowing your appreciative gasp. He kissed you passionately, not in any rush to stop right now. He parted from you and took a second to appreciate the throaty sighs that left your mouth at his actions, the way you bit your lip and the slight wrinkle on your brow as you grew closer to your release. He’d missed being able to see you like this, but he was relishing the opportunity to relearn and do all the things that made your body contort in pleasure. “You’re beautiful.” He exhaled in complete awe.

You were so caught up in the pleasure radiating throughout your body that you had already forgotten his plan and you were too put out by the feeling of your climax fading away to recall where your side of the bargain came into it. “Hey-” You cut yourself off as you saw the expectant expression on his face and then you remembered what you had to do to get what you craved but that doubt was still there, and you felt awkward doing it. However, the reassurance and trust that also rested on his face saw to it that you did as he said. “I- I’m beautiful.”

 Hunter bowed his head with a supportive smile before he carried on, the sound of your groan was like music to his ears. “Despite all that’s happened… all that we still have to do… you always find a way to make me smile.”

You were in a state of total euphoria and therefore failed to fully comprehend that he’d said something else. It was only when you felt him pull his hand away and the emptiness that followed that brought you back to the current situation. With a whine, you spoke again, “I- make- make you s- smile.” You ground out as you moved your hips in tandem with his touch as you chased your high.

He let you have your first climax, pausing to let you come down from it. Once your breathing evened out, he went again and kissed you before muttering against your lips, “You’re smart.”

“I’m- fuck.” You were too distracted by seeking the next release you were longing for to remember to respond, and you cried out in irritation as he stopped just before you reached it.  

“Almost.” He crooned into your ear.

As frustrated as you were, you got your bearings and whispered, “I’m smart.”

“Good girl.” He praised, a grin on his face as your breath stuttered at his words, before he continued, curling his fingers in the way he knew would send you over the edge and sure enough, your hips lifted as your release crashed over you and a gratified moan sounded from you. However, he didn’t stop, he worked you through it and said, “You’re caring.”

The process got easier and began to feel more natural. You slowly started to understand that clinging on to that part of your past had made it impossible to fully come back. Keeping yourself hidden and refusing to acknowledge what you’d experienced had made it difficult to fathom that he could still want you this way but each affirmation from his, as silly as you’d initially felt at doing what he said, was helping cement the idea that you may not be able to change or fix what you’d gone through, but it didn’t have to control you anymore. You had a partner and family that loved you and who you adored and would do anything for. You would get through this and now you were beginning to feel like you could do it. You felt yourself believing what he was telling you. A whimper left your throat, and you could already sense that you were hurtling towards the edge again, but you repeated it. “I’m c- caring.” You said through panted breaths as you coped with the overstimulation.

“You’re doing so well.” He encouraged as he kept to his word and continued to touch you. “You’re strong.” He knew he was repeating himself, but they weren’t words he minded reiterating, and he needed you to know and believe it too.

“I’m strong.” You said breathlessly as your hands curled into the blanket beneath you as that feeling overcame you again.

He saw you through your next peak and took his hand away to give you a rest from the stimulation and simply stared at you and the blissed out look on your face. He had it committed to memory, but it never ceased to take his breath away every time.

You gathered yourself enough to smile at him. “Thank you.” You whispered as you lightly followed the shape of his tattoo. You clasped the back of his neck and attempted to pull him towards you, but he worked his way out of your grip and instead kissed the hollow of your throat before kissing his way down the rest of your body. Your head fell back as you realised his intent, but you had thought it would be time for him to take what it was he needed.

He could help the groan that left him as he finally put his mouth on you. He could get drunk off the taste of you, and it had been too fucking long since he’d had the chance to do so, and he wasn’t about to stop now.

You couldn’t help the way your hands tangled in his hair and tugged him closer to you, his appreciative growl sent shivers down your spine, but you were so sensitive, and you didn’t think you could manage another one. “Hunter, I can’t. Just-”

“One more. I know you can.” He encouraged desperately as he planted a kiss to your inner thigh, sucking a bruise into the skin, before he went back to where his attention was demanded. He needed you to fall apart on his tongue, he was addicted to it, every drop of you, every whimper that sounded from you was like his own personal drug and he would never tire of it. “You’ve been such a good girl… done everything I’ve asked for… just give me one more, sweetheart.”

That did it. Your back arched and you finished with a ruined and exhausted moan. You were completely spent but it felt so good. You barely registered him to come rest beside you, his lips pressed against your temple.

“I know that wasn’t easy, but I’m so proud of you.” Hunter murmured into your hairline as he stroked up and down your side.

You regained enough feeling in your limbs to turn on your side “What about you?” You queried, still struggling to catch your breath. You knew you would be sensitive but your overwhelming longing for him swiftly outweighed any concerns.

Hunter slowly shook his head as he brushed his lips against yours, taking them away when you went to deepen the kiss. “This was always about you.”

With each passing moment, you were gaining more clarity over your faculties, and you knew what you had to do. A seductive smile pulled at the corners of your mouth and your hand snaked down between you both.

“What-” Hunter inhaled sharply as he felt your hand wrap around him, and his jaw clenched as he fought the urge to thrust his hips into your touch. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to-”

“You said this was about me and what I need, right?” You hummed as you rested your forehead against his whilst your hand kept moving. You kept your touch teasing but just enough to drive him crazy.

“R-right.” Hunter said through a strained breath as he felt his restraint leaving him with every second you continued to touch him.

“And what I need is to feel you…” You brought your lips close to his, barely any space between you now. “Inside me.” You kissed him, tugging his lip between your teeth whilst your free hand entangled itself in his hair, the actions eliciting the depraved groan you had been looking for, and before you knew it, you were back on your back again with Hunter kissing you with a newfound fervour which you matched in kind. You wrapped your legs around him and drew him closer to you, smiling against his lips at the surprised huff that escaped him.  

Hunter kept kissing you as he started to guide himself into you. He knew you would still feel tender and was careful as he slowly moved into you, both of your breaths catching at the feeling. His head fell to rest in the crook of your neck, biting down on the skin there before he soothed the sting of it with his tongue as he started to move, heavy grunts and pants leaving his lips as he got absorbed in feeling you this way after all this time.

Your nails dug into his back, and you could feel the muscles flex beneath your fingers and a sensual sigh left your lungs as you finally felt all of him.

One thought crossed your mind amidst the fog of pleasure that was spreading over your body. You’d let go of your fear now and you wanted to look for that connection again. Before, it had marked a level of certainty of your place here and overall mindset and if you couldn’t find it after all that had happened, there was a time where you would’ve been sure that it would mean there was no true way back for you. But now you understood that wasn’t and didn’t have to be the case. If it wasn’t there, you could work to get it back.

You used the Force around you to find his unique signature again and you could’ve wept with joy as you sensed it once more and it welcomed you with open arms. It had been waiting for you. You bridged the gap between you and allowed that feeling to flow through you. I love you.

Hunter paused his movements, and he stared down at you, a shocked but delighted cry left his mouth as he saw the broad and affirming smile on your face that told him he hadn’t imagined it. He’d wanted to have that back for so long and his heart soared as he realised what this meant for you. You weren’t holding back anymore; you were officially home.

You stroked a thumb along his cheekbone before clenched around him in an attempt to get him to keep going, a smug hum of laughter leaving you at the almost pained expression on his face as he got himself back under control before he started again.

“Do it again. Please.” Hunter requested frantically as he felt himself approaching his own release.

You smiled affectionately at him and continued to kiss him as you saw him through to his climax. I love you. I love you. I love you.

He finished with a strangled groan, and he collapsed on top of you. He stayed there for a few moments before he gently pulled out of you, stroking your hair as he saw you slightly wince at the action. “I’m sorry if it was too much.”

You shook your head. “It was perfect. You were perfect.” You reassured him as he laid down beside you and held you close to him. We should clean up.

Hunter made a sound of acknowledgement as he pressed his mouth to the crown of your head. “What made you do that again?”

“I let go.” You said simply before planting a chaste kiss to his lips before taking his hands in yours and guiding him to the refresher. “Come on.”

--

“What are you thinking?” Hunter asked as he watched you pick up the wrapped lightsaber from the shelf Wrecker had put it on. You hadn’t touched it since taking it from the bounty hunter.

“I can’t hold on to or fear the past anymore. We can only look to the future now and that future has us getting Omega back. And…” You uncovered the seemingly harmless looking weapon. “I think this will make achieving that easier.” You reached for it, hesitating for just a moment before you picked it up and it was an instant reaction. You took half a step back as the sensation of feeling that connection you hadn’t encountered for years threatened to overwhelm you. Flashes of your past as a youngling and echoes of previous battles and instructions from your master sounded in your head but it wasn’t scary this time, you were merely remembering the periods where this weapon had been your life.

Hunter placed a steadying hand on your shoulder. “You alright?”

You took one long breath. “Yeah. It’ll just take come getting used to, but it’s going to be worth it. I’m not hiding what I am these days, may as well have the whole image.” You said light-heartedly.

Hunter cupped your jaw and kissed you gently, both of you sighing contentedly into the sensation before Wrecker’s hesitant voice echoed through the comms.

“Um, Hunter… I hope I’m not interrupting eh anything now but um I was wondering if I could come back? I’ve started to wander in circles and I’m getting some suspicious looks.”

The two of you chuckled.

“Poor guy.” You said with a humorous shake of your head.

“Yeah, Wrecker, head on back and we can get outta here.” Hunter replied through his comm.

“Wrecker, how’d you fancy having an excuse to shoot at me?” You said into your comm, and the intrigued but excited cheer told you your answer.

“Shoot you?” Hunter repeated, titling his head at you inquisitively.

You grinned as you clipped your lightsaber to your waist. “Yeah, how else did you think I was going to train?”

--

“That’s 15 to 11!” Wrecker whooped as you came to after his stun blast hit your back.

Fuck you. You jabbed playfully as you accepted Hunter’s outstretched hand. He tugged you to your feet.

“You’re lasting longer.” Hunter commented supportively and- knowing you would want to go immediately again- walked away to take up his position.

You wiped the dirt from your clothing and removed your mask to take some deep breaths and find your centre again. Taking on jobs, following leads, mediating and lightsaber training… that was how you balanced your time; you were feeling more like the person you had been before your world had been torn apart. You’d never be able to be her again, but you could own who you are now and allow yourself to feel the emotions you’d been struggling against without suffocating in them anymore.

“But still not long enough!” Wrecker goaded. “I’ll always be in the lead!”

You didn’t take the bait. Instead, you took off your armour, gloves, and long-sleeved top.

“Hey, wait a minute, that’s not fair.” Wrecker protested.

Hunter turned inquisitively and his breath hitched. A soft sheen of sweat graced your skin and your body rippled with strength and untapped potential… and fuck did it make his heart skip a beat and his blood run hot. He was grateful his helmet was still on because the way his eyes widened would’ve given you too much material to work with right now, but he wasn’t able to hide the way his hand slightly fumbled as he unholstered his blaster. He wasn’t embarrassed by finding you attractive in this way, the frequent teasing he’d often received for it just made it harder to focus on the task at hand.

“The training stays the same and my strategy is my own. It’s not supposed to have an effect on you anyway.” You retorted with a smug grin as Hunter’s reaction went exactly as you’d anticipated.

“You better not mess this up for us, Hunter.” Wrecker warned as he shoved his brother’s shoulder to snap him out his reverie.

You laughed to yourself as you watched them. You picked up your lightsaber and ignited it, the blue blade thrumming at your side, and you felt that rush of connection and security. Having a blaster by your side was nothing compared to this.

It was a powerful sight that Hunter never got used to and quite frankly, part of him was relieved he’d never come across you as an official Jedi General during the war because if his reaction to seeing you train and work towards unlocking whatever you had been tampering down for so many years was anything to by, he would’ve gotten himself shot a long time ago- half your earlier victories came from redirecting his own stun blasts to him.

You got into your stance and faced the two clones as they readied their blasters. “Alright, let’s go again.”

<Previous Oneshot

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @fuckoffthanos, @tpwkcalli, @graciexmarvel, @arctrooper69, @nightmonkeysstuff, @starwarsnerd111, @brujaporfavor, @flyingkangaroo, @sunkissedclones, @ladytano420, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf, @yyourmotherr, @xxeiraxx, @dragonrider9905, @skellymom, @lokigirlszendaya

[ask-the-royal-absol]

(Response to: https://www.tumblr.com/ask-team-misfit/747248524259885056/destino-approaches-lief-carry-a-body-pillow-of )

Seems that this evening was going to be full of surprising events. First they had made someone cry and now Lief, someone who Destino had heard could have a little fun, shoved them and became angry at their words. Not just once, twice. What was happening? What they had said wasn't even the worst insult they could have come up with. Oh great, Felix had warned them before about the consequences of their actions. Perhaps they should have taken his advice for once. Then again, Destino didn't really want to think about their so-called friend at this current moment.

Slowly picking themselves back up from the floor after the second shove, Destino brushed themselves off with their paws, taking time to ensure everything was back in place. They turned to check themselves. Seems everything was in order, except from the pain from being pushed over. They were going to feel that for a bit. Destino placed the pillow down, looking directly into Lief’s eyes. No smile, not even a smirk. Their eyebrows furrowed and their tone was of a more serious nature.

"You know if I was given poor advice, I wouldn't take it. I would choose to ignore it. It's like if I was to tell you to jump into a fire. Would you do that? No, I doubt you would. You'd use a little bit of that initiative to consider whether it was a good idea or not. You were the one that chose to take my advice. I don't see how I could be the one to blame for all of this when you decided to act on the advice I gave you. It was your choice. Not mine."

The urge to throw an insult in there was strong. Very strong. However, it didn't seem the right time for it. Destino didn't want to cause this fairy to come at them again. They already had a deep-rooted fear of them in the first place. Who knows what this one would do if they continued to push? He seemed rather volatile at the moment. Destino had to show him they were more powerful. They couldn't let this fairy think he could do as he pleased. Destino stepped forward, getting closer to Lief. Their voice felt rather calm in tone.

"I really don't appreciate being shoved, fairy. Especially not by one of your kind. It's not often I allow someone to touch me. And for someone of your status to feel it's ok to push around royalty for the sake of your anger? If we were in my kingdom right now, I guarantee that would lead to immediate execution.”

Destino felt a little surprised that that last statement left their lips. It felt incredibly weird. They needed to dial it back a bit. Bring the vibes of the evening back. Shaking off the feeling, they brought a slightly more light-hearted tone to their voice.

"Sadly, this isn't my kingdom. I don't have the power to carry out any threats should I so desire. However, perhaps you need to consider if you should be using physical action in a place like this. I mean, looking at the amount of legends here, I doubt they'd be most pleased with some lowly mortal trying to cause a fight at a peaceful event like this. Trust me, I've had my share of legends kicking my ass. It's a pain to recover from. Go get a drink or something to calm that anger of yours, buddy. I thought maybe I'd be able to have a bit of banter or something with you but if you're going to take out your issues on me, I don't want to be a part of it. I've already got enough on my plate to deal with without having another to stack on top.”

Destino felt gross. That was too friendly for them. Urgh, this evening was turning out to be more troublesome for them than what they had hoped.

@ask-team-misfit

[jess-moloney]

I’ve said this before but I’m going to say it again . For context Jamie and I both follow the same account that talks about mental health recovery and sobriety recovery . In my case it’s for SA whilst Jamie’s is for sobriety . But I know what content he likes on that account and all I’m going to say is that it’s so fucking obvious that there are relationship issues. Even when Jamie doesn’t post it on his story I can see which posts he likes and yes you guessed it. Half of them are about him feeling unworthy of being loved healthily , of his “partner” not realising how deep rooted his fear of being unlovable is , of his deep rooted traumas , of him feeling the need to satisfy his partner through sex , and obviously struggled with sobriety from before he got sober through relatable memes to after . But Jamie regularly engages with this account (as do I) which means these issues are clearly ongoing . So to those Jess stans with this evidence in mind please shut the fuck up . You’re just causing second hand embarrassment and I will throw hands because unlike you pussies I’m not afraid to chat shit to your face instead of behind a screen . And for the last time all Josey is doing is exposing the fucking truth . Please get a life instead of Simping over a fucking troglodyte who literally had to buy her face and body . Thank you . Josey we love you . And if you want me to send the posts as proof best know I will

They love to ignore anything that doesn't fit their narrative. They can't explain why Jamie stopped being public with her when he was fine with it before (other than claiming it was my blog that made them go private when Jamie had already stopped taking her places before I even made my blog). It's pretty obvious that if a couple goes from being super public to very private then something is up with that.

It can't even be because of my blog and the reason I say that was Jess had been getting hate comments well before my blog was made. Comments that she left on her Instagram page, she didn't delete or block these people. Even then, there were very very few people leaving hate comments I maybe only ever saw a handful. I don't think this suddenly privacy is due to my blog. I think it's due to whatever happened at YSL (which, once again, was before I even started posting) and how it's all clearly been going downhill for them since that happened.

I don't know why anyone would irrationally stan someone's nobody wannabe girlfriend just because they think it's the right thing to do. I definitely don't understand how some people take it to the level they do. I guess it's easier to live in denial than face reality and that reality is that Jamie and Jess aren't this magical end game romantic goth couple these stans want them to be. I just feel bad for Jamie since when he finally does leave Jess creepy people like this are going to have a massive fit about it and he's going to have to clean up the mess, because we all know she doesn't care.

[v3nusxsky]

Would you ever think of doing a Larissa x Fem! Reader where she is a teacher and is in the middle of a meeting but the reader has an epileptic seizure?

Strange times|h&c

*Authors note~ this defiantly took some researching on my part so I hope I can get this all factual and correct. It's an important topic*

Trigger warnings ~ epilepsy

Prompt~ see ask ^^^^

✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫✫

Larissa knew of your Epilepsy, of course she did, after all you’d told her on the interview yet you still managed to secure the job. Teaching was your life long dream, the only job you’d feel truly fulfilled doing. With your unique abilities it made sense that you’d become a botany teacher.

You’d been at Nevermore for a year by now, no incidents had really occurred but you knew that Larissa had specifically taken a course to ensure she’d be prepared and know exactly what to should you have a fit. It helped that over the last year you and Larissa had developed a good friendship but for you it was a little more than that. You were catching feelings for the principal, you wanted the tell her, but too afraid of ruining what you had. Larissa was incredibly self conscious which you didn’t understand in the slightest. She is simply stunning and you don’t think you’d met anyone with a bigger heart. You knew why though, some people truly could say the most horrible things, although how anyone couldn’t love the woman was truly a mystery.

Staff meetings were one of your favourite parts of your job, seeing Larissa be so passionate about the students warmed your heart and it was nice to hear about all the subjects. You’d forgone lunch today, you hadn’t had a chance due to hectic classes and you had a few issues today. As well as being on your period, you could feel your body becoming exhausted but you didn’t want to miss the meeting. It was your favourite part of the day, and your stubbornness meant you were currently settled on Larissa’s left as the potions teacher explained how they need more funding.

You could feel yourself zoning in and out, it was getting harder to focus on the conversation, while zoned it you were rapidly blinking which caught the attention of blonde next to you. “You okay there sweetheart” she murmured nudging you slightly. She frowned when you almost seemed to ignore her. “Mm fine” you mumbled a few moments later. Completely unaware that you’d spaced out again.

For you it seemed to happen ever so quickly, one minute you were there and the next your limbs began to jerk as your body tumbled to the ground. Completely out of consciousness. Larissa sprang into action, effectively ending the staff meeting and asking to the staff to leave and give you space. She made sure you weren’t swallowing your tongue and allowed your body to do what it needed while timing your fit. She knew not to hold your limbs down, that would risk hurting you. As long as you weren’t able to hit your head and the episode didn’t last longer than five minutes it would all be okay.

As much as she was trying to keep calm for you, the fear gripping her heart was exposing her true feelings for you. Ones she wasn’t ready to admit, but seeing you like this, she couldn’t help by wonder what you’d be like if she was helping as a girlfriend rather than a friend. How you’d snuggle into her once you came around, absolutely exhausted and how she’d hold you and reassure you that you are okay. She craved it more than anything else, she craved being able to hold you and kiss your cheek. But fear and insecurity was deep rooted within her.

Your limbs stopped jerking and consciousness began to flitter back to you. You were confused, truly and scared but seeing the blondes face calmed you instantly, causing you to try and sit up. “No no no sweetheart stay there for a minute darling” she murmured watching as you complied with her request.

A few minutes passed and when she was sure you wouldn’t have another she helped you sit up against her body, “darling have you eaten?” With a small shake of your head she sighed slightly, food would be the next thing on the agenda. “Mm sleepy” you whimpered snuggling into the older woman. “I know sweetheart I know but we need to get some food in you love.” “Mhms love you” and you mumbled happily before dosing off in her arms.

Larissa carefully carried you to her office where she had a few snacks for you, in her just incase draw. “Sweetheart, can you wake up for me?” She murmured stroking a hand through your hair, as you sleepily tried to follow her words. With a few snacks and some water in your system you were back sleeping in her arms.

Word count~ 829

[wetcatspellcaster]

I hope this isn't too personal. If it is, I apologize and you can obviously ignore it! But you've mentioned how there was a period where you were going through some stuff and stopped writing. I had the same thing happen, and things are better (yay for both of us getting through Stuff), but my writing still hasn't come back, and it's been years. I know you said BG3 itself helped bring it back, but did you do anything to help force yourself back into writing mode? Just wondering if you had any tips or anything. Thanks!

hey anon, I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling to write. I'm going to do my best to answer but I've found writers block to be a highly personal thing so I'm not sure what I did works for everyone!

I've had two periods of writing block - one was years long due to having a high pressure university degree and then general life stuff after (18-26) the other was due to depression and something in a fandom upsetting me to the point where I didn't want to interact anymore.

So the first piece of advice I have is, work out what the root cause of the issue is, and address it! Which sucks! It's basically therapy! It feels very silly to even be advising it. But for my first writers block I realised I was putting too much pressure on myself - I wanted everything I wrote to be Meaningful and Perfect - so I devised the silliest and most entertaining writing project I could ever imagine for myself and got rid of expectation, and this broke through the block entirely. I began thinking of writing as a hobby I do for fun rather than a vocation or future profession, etc. I came to this drug late, so people who've been writing fic for longer probably won't find that novel - but I did! For the second issue, I took a break and then I readjusted how I interact with fandom. I probably seem quite antisocial at times to others, but I've just changed my boundaries to make it so I'm comfortable and so I keep writing. I realised that I didn't like the grounds on which I'd been operating on ao3 so I changed them - the block shifted again.

Often, it's not the writing that you're struggling with, necessarily, it's something else in the mix that's preventing you from doing it. See if you can find out what that is!

The second part of your question is 'how do you force writing back'... I don't think you can, honestly. Placing pressure on yourself, I've found, always backfires. But my advice for getting started writing again after a break is as follows:

Make a really fun project, as silly or cringe or self-indulgent as possible. Something you are genuinely excited about putting down on paper. Something that feeds you specifically. from a favourite maladaptive daydream, to a silly one shot, to a laundry list of all your favourite fictional things.

If you feel like you literally can't write sentences, bullet point something instead. This means that you won't feel guilt about losing the idea you've had, but also i've found that whenever I return to bullet points, it's easier to start writing bc it's not a blank page. Whatever your notes are, I promise they will be useful. If you write them in a low energy time and come back to them at a higher energy time, even better, bc past-you has literally set up a little springboard for you once you have the bandwidth to jump!

Reduce pressure. This one is very personal so it'll seem vague. Reducing pressure could be not publishing anything until it's finished. Reducing pressure could be publishing or sharing with friends immediately, so you get support and motivation to help you keep going and don't feel like you're working alone. Reducing pressure could be to pick the easiest project you have first, so you do something that maybe feels simplistic at the time, but it helps you build confidence for facing more ambitious projects later.

I don't know if any of that is helpful, but I've honestly found that for me, keeping writing as fun as possible has been what allows me to keep doing it. Any time I feel anxiety or stress creeping in, I try to remind myself of that by any means necessary.

[scarlettaagni]

Glam was a Dragg-Reven shepherd on Vrykola who fled after Vilgax's invasion and eventually joined the Space Plumbers.

A happy-go-lucky, silly big teddy bear guy who loves animals, just coming in and out of the background of episodes...

unless they ever arrested Psyphon and held him at his station.

See, the thing is, Vilgax invaded Vrykola and Psyphon went turncoat and assisted him in destroying it. And proceeded to sully their reputation with further invasions on other worlds. Ergo, it is absolutely on-sight if any Vrykolan is within his vicinity and aware of his general location.

Once arrested, Psyphon himself would probably suggest that if they have any Vrykolan officers, to relocate them and not tell them why, because they can and will try to assassinate him. He's not volunteering this info out of self-preservation, because they can only try to kill him even if he's in handcuffs, but out of a general "hey, this might be a complete headache for everyone, so as a heads-up..." Gets ignored because why would anyone take his advice.

Glam would use his authority and arsenal, and put everything on the line to ensure his opportunity to take out the person who betrayed their homeworld. He wasn't pretending to be who he was up 'til now, but joining for this express purpose of being part of the forces who fight Vilgax (and consequentially Psyphon) and deciding to take this route when he finally gets the chance, having never really expected to get this close to him. Glam loves what the Plumbers have done for him, but not enough to abide by their rules when that means not getting back at Psyphon.

Psyphon would just be goading him the whole time, A) fully expecting his advice on dismissing Vrykolan Plumbers to be ignored, B) this not being the first nor the last attempt on his life, C) finding anyone defending Vrykola and its leaders' honor to be idiots, and D) knowing he can kick most anyone's ass even handcuffed. So he's not taking it very seriously. Been there, done that. He has very little respect for a fit pitched in order to bootlick an already-fallen moldy-ass oligarchy who wouldn't give a shit about Glam either, or the planet they maintained where his life was absolutely miserable until it fell apart.

a lot of "the Exequiance aren't gonna fuck you!" "do their boots taste like real leather?"

Glam: [actively shooting] my house was destroyed! Psyphon: [in handcuffs, on floor] aw, well, I wouldn't know know how that feels, I NEVER HAD ONE Ben: [literally shielding Psyphon] you are making it SO hard to defend your life

And to top it all off, while Psyphon feels that Vilgax is the one true authority that everyone should swear fealty to (and he interprets everyone fighting against that as not accepting reality), he cannot respect Glam betraying the Plumbers by trying to kill him, after all they've done for him AND Glam making a pledge to them. He's just asking for some damn consistency, and he can't find jack.

again, he's over assassination attempts and has for a while been critiquing their motives and avenues of attack. Glam's is the messiest.

and Psyphon's not saying all that cause he doesn't want to get assassinated. As an intensely loyal person himself, he finds Glam's conduct to be a very insult to the concept of loyalty itself, and an insult towards the Plumbers who did a lot for Glam (even if Psyphon doesn't actually care about AND has issues with them).

He'd call Glam a faithless worm, and say that Vrykola, the corrupted hellhole it was for him, had birthed three monsters. Himself, Ragnarok, and now Glam.

When the dust settles, after breaking a shit-ton of laws, Glam goes on the run as a renegade Plumber (still in the uniform though probably worse for wear), biding time until another chance to clash with Psyphon.

Ehh,,, that's the general story idea.

If you're wondering how he gets that helmet on, the white and black parts snap off around the root of his horns.

[chaotic-minds-think-alike]

Yeah it’s brick wall time again!!! This time it’s about Warning (song is Peach by The Front Bottoms)

FYI this is also an old/lazy video so… and also video explained below:

(This is heavily tied into the lyrics so I’ll explain it via each verse)

“One day you’ll find someone who will love you like you deserve” - a bitter comment towards the ancients who wronged him. This is meant to be read as him remembering/looking back on them.

“But tonight I’m the only one left and I’m betting it’s a fact that you will never learn” - picture him decked out completely. He “had good relations” with his ancients so much so that he actually became invested in their religious rambles. Because of this, he used to be a lot more decorated and could even pass as one of them if he wanted to. The second panel shows him glaring at you with one of his eyes showing the echo symbol, alluding to the fact that he had wished some very bad things on some of these ancients. Continuing, imagine the lyrics are him telling them that he was the only one truly invested, who truly believed in their religion, who truly supported them. But as we know, the ancients never learned.

“Once I sink my teeth” - two ancients, one being his creator and main lead on his project, are pictured tugging on the wires connecting to his head. This implies they directly tampered with him due to unsatisfactory results. They were about to do something permanent and deadly to Warning.

“Your skin’s not so tough” - picture the second ancient’s hand being offered to Warning surrounded by roots. These roots dig deep into warning’s hand and he pulls away, the ancient’s hand also curled in a disappointing way. Root imagery is used because Warning’s main focus is the study of flora and incorporating it heavily into his industrial mechanical creations.

“I’ll leave a tiny cut” - the first ancient pictured before is seen initiating an administrative protocol unto Warning’s structure. This protocol, if you were to look closely, is to rewrite the entirety of his code so that he’ll be more driven to work on the great problem, to condition him to be even more of a pawn in their religious affairs. This permanently affects him even after he recovers.

“There’ll be a lot of blood” - picture red fog coming into view and obscuring his insides. It’s purely metaphorical and to only show the idea of this rewrite is incredibly bad and is taking him over like a disease. The lyrics paired with this imagery details that the results of this decision were catastrophic and would leave Warning with a huge undoing.

“But once you wipe it up” - with the influence of Future, he manages to briefly overwrite the protocol’s tight restrictions just long enough to snap Warning out of it and to help him begin to reverse the rewrite. Warning, desperate to release these chains, tunnel visioned his success and would ignore the countless alarms blaring at him and even ignored his close friend at the time. Because of Warning being slightly older than his other group mates (except for Future), his systems were unoptimized and led to a slew of issues such as overheating and jumpstarting the collapse of the sinkhole beneath him.

“You will feel better about our entire situation” - This is meant to be read as a counter argument towards Warning claiming he could never understand what they felt. Behind him are two ascended silhouettes, the left being the one who helped devise and execute the rewriting and the right being his creator and main lead of his creation. Warning is pictured to be absolutely overwhelmed, likely due to the aforementioned alarms and issues caused by his efforts. Though he was able to successfully and completely remove their influence on him, something unforeseen began to brew as a result…

[paragonrobits]

in all honesty i think the 'if we kill all the bad people and CEOs then the world will be happy forever and we'll never have to do anything hard or worry about systemic injustice ever again' is extremely damaging to any kind of political or revolutionary rhetoric, and part of it is that it leads very strongly to the same mentality that basically refuses to do anything in the political process but just wait around for the Glorious Revolution, and of course that its an appealing revenge fantasy, but also that the kind of people espousing this aren't actually going to do anything and it does very bad things to actual... well, actions to make things better.

Essentially, its a revenge fantasy writ large. It's the kind of thing espoused by the people who think of mass executing the Rich or really any nebulous group that is defined as being responsible for all the world's ills; a glorious heroic defeat of Ultimate Evil after which everything will be better forever.

It's not that simple. It will never work that way. At BEST, even if you somehow could accomplish that, more people would just fill that void. And to be blunt, the issue is not that some people are bad; it is that this is the result of systematic injustice that is to some degree baked in. Even if you remove them, that does not address the reason why they come to exist. Furthermore, it simplifies the actual cause of human suffering to such an extreme that at BEST its lazy. At worst you're actively ignoring history just to feel smug about your hypothetical revolution that will never ever happen

let's examine this. if you genuinely believe that CEOs and capitalism as a whole are the root of all human evil and suffering and, if removed, this will make everything better forever, this kind of fails to address the point that people being shitty to each other is older than recorded history, this is a manifestation of the problem and not the problem itself! There are mass graves of murdered people going back to Neolithic times. The human capacity for cruelty is older than our ability to record it in the written word.

Its not like there were stone age CEOs in fancy furs making up the concept of profits as an excuse to kill people. To be plain, capitalism as a concept is EXTREMELY recent. It technology only dates back a few hundred years at best, and it is specifically an outgrowth of mercantilism, which roughly appeared around the 1600s. So out of five thousand years of recorded history, that's an indescribly TINY, statistically meaningless shred of time.

Are you trying to suggest that human evil only started then?

So if you DO want to make that claim, what do you make of the mass slavery empire that was Rome, as an example? Or the countless examples of empires rising and falling, of people giving the order to kill lots of other people for short-term gain or political expediency?

Human evil goes back a long, long way. It's not something that can be fixed by just going 'get rid of the Bad People'. If it was, then those Bad People would never have existed. The entire concept of just wiping out entire groups and deciding that'll fix the world is the cause of many massacres.

Being smug and fantasizing about revenge won't fix anything. Constantly making snide and inappropriate jokes about everything won't fix anything either. There's no easy fix and no simple answers, and in all honesty, you can't just go 'once we kill all the CEOs human nature will see to it that we will work together for the common good'.

Because if that was honestly true, do you really think we'd ever have SEEN CEOs show up the first place?

[stuckinapril]

hey girl… may I ask for advice? sorry to dump this on you, feel free to ignore of course! I just don‘t know where to put this right now and it‘s been eating at me for the past two months

I met a guy around 8 months ago and we instantly connected really intensely and even fell in love in a really short amount of time (obviously all of that was based on very brief interactions and didn‘t have anything to do with actual love but it was still nice and i felt like something could grow from it), however due to our personal circumstances we decided to be friends. The last time I saw him was 7 months ago. We ended up making out that night. The next morning he made it very clear he didnt want a relationship and i didn’t either. We kept texting every day and i asked to see him again but when we finally managed to find a day to hang out he would cancel the same day because he wasn‘t feeling well mentally (which I would never judge or question because I have my bad weeks too) but this happened like 5-6 times and I felt like he just didnt want to see me again, or at least it wasn’t important to him right now. I involuntarily pulled back from our texting relationship over the summer because of work but still it was always me except for one time who was asking to hang out. Then I started actually pulling back because I was hurt from him rejecting me all the time. At this point it’s not even just about the romantic feelings, I feel like we’re not even friends anymore. I feel stuck, I feel myself wanting to pull back and I feel stupid when he rejects me being nice to him (we always tease each other but he used to be more caring and accept care from me too). I want to be there for him and let him know that I‘m not going anywhere (because i’m not, i want him in my life) but at the same time i notice myself falling into an obsession because of him being so inconsisent. Do you think I can take a step back without losing him and abandoning our friendship entirely? I don‘t want to make a big thing out of it because I know he‘s been very busy working but then again it‘s not too much to want to see him once in 7 months and I made time for him when i was drowning in work. I wonder what happened or what has changed for him. I just don‘t know where to put all of this care that I have for him

reading your ask gave me deja vu bc i went through every single phase you’re describing w my ex. hell, i was going through it as late as october. your feelings are valid. your feelings are really valid and raw and i deeply relate to every single thing you’re saying. but that’s why i need to bluntly tell you—there is no future friendship (or relationship, for that matter) to be maintained with this man. just trust me on this. i went through the “maybe we could be friends!!” phase too. i so badly wanted him to stay in my life too. it didn’t work. it won’t work for you either. you need to go no contact. absolutely cut him out of your life. you will not move on any other way.

how do i know this? bc that’s the only thing that really, truly helped me. you’re going to feel withdrawals at first. it’s literally like a dopamine fix. the moment you remove him from your life, the chemicals in your brain will go crazy. they so badly crave the presence of this person. but is what he’s giving you even a presence? y’all have literally not seen each other for 7 months. imagine all the other guys you could have met in that time. imagine the opportunities lost. 7 billion people in this world, and you’re stuck fixating on this person who’s giving you breadcrumbs. literal breadcrumbs. it’s seriously time to consider you.

but this is not sustainable. it’s damaging. it’s hard to believe, but this man is neither the cause nor the solution to your pain. even if he were prevalent in your life, this would not fix the root issue—which is that so much of your happiness is attached to this person. you’re dependent on him. you can’t need a person. you can want them, but you can never need them. you need to detach and find yourself. that’s what i had to do as well. back when i was going through the thick of my breakup, it seemed crazy to me not to have him in my life. i genuinely thought he enriched it. but if he was truly the only source of enrichment, did that mean i was living a full life to begin with? a person shouldn’t be the only reason i find my days exciting. i should be the only one responsible for my emotions—and if a person walks out, i should be fine. it shouldn’t consume me. that’s not healthy. that’s a problem.

i reiterate: it wouldn’t even matter if he was the best companion you could’ve asked for. the simple fact of the matter is you’re relying way, way too much on another person for happiness and fulfillment. this is something you need to go through alone.

you need to cut him off. i was in denial about this too. you may be for a while as well. but all keeping him in your life, in any capacity, will do is hurt you. this is not the behavior of a man who cares or wants to be helped. and people simply can’t be fixed. only they can give themselves the permission to be better. your only option—for the sake of you—is to walk out, endure the pain, grow from it, and fulfill yourself without needing someone else. i swear. i have been there so many times. that’s the only thing that will help.

[mtdthoughts]

Parentification Pt. 3 (Migi & Dali Analysis)

Part 1 of this discussion

Part 2 of this discussion

As always, please expect *spoilers* up to Episode 9 to be mentioned.

In this final part of the analysis, I want to discuss the significance of the parentified dynamic that the twins had.

Though this relationship might have been necessary when the twins were surviving on their own, it was ultimately unsustainable and toxic for them, especially for Dali, and was the cause of significant character flaws and was ultimately what caused the twins to drift apart.

Through many years of this dynamic while seeking revenge, Dali bore most of the emotional burden, stress, anger, and resentment, which darkened his heart and deteriorated his mental state. Dali, still a child, became obsessed with revenge, which made him reject the care he needed and made him willing to manipulate MIgi and take advantage of Migi's trust in him. Migi on the other hand developed a blind trust and dependence on Dali and initially remained ignorant of Dali’s underlying issues, which meant that Migi was unable to provide Dali the help that he needed and was easily manipulated by Dali.

These character flaws then caused them to drift apart as their priorities diverged. Dali could not let go of his revenge because of his anger and because he saw revenge as his obligation. Meanwhile, Migi, who was not nearly as burdened with anger as Dali was, was able to let go of revenge far more easily. Eventually, the betrayal occurs through Dali's manipulation of Migi, and the difference in priorities caused the twins to split in Episode 8.

Because of the twins' parentified dynamic, the separation seemed almost unsalvageable. Migi, who was ignorant of what Dali was going through, acted like a stubborn brat and abandoned Dali as if nothing was wrong. Dali, who was also a stubborn brat, cast away Migi and continued his revenge, and now had no one that could talk him out of his descent into darkness.

Fortunately, thanks to Eiji saving Migi at the Halloween contest, everything changed. Dali realized that Migi was more important to him than anything, including revenge, and regretted betraying him and casting him away. Through Migi's visit to Eiji's house and his witnessing of Dali's decision to sacrifice himself, Migi realized the depth of Dali's love for him and Dali's immense loneliness and insecurities, and regretted abandoning him when he needed Migi the most. Through Eiji's intervention, there was hope in saving the twins' relationship.

However, this dynamic still had to be broken for the twins to be truly reunited, and it made a return when the twins ran away to the shrine and Dali reassumed a controlling attitude towards Migi by forbidding him from going back to Origon Village. Once again, Dali was being (over)protective of Migi as if Migi were his child. Then, the twins had their fight, and their feelings, their sins, and their regrets were all out in the open, making yet another crack in the parentified dynamic. Finally, once Migi told Dali that they'd go home together to eat cherry pie, the parentified dynamic was completely broken, which can be imagined through Dali's reaction to these words.

Dali likely realized that Migi wanted him to be happy and that Migi wanted to reciprocate the love and support that he had always given him. He also likely realized that he couldn’t be Migi’s guardian forever and that both of them (especially himself) needed real parents. By wanting to ease Dali's long-standing suffering, Migi has shown proof of his growth, allowing Dali to stop treating Migi as his child and instead as his proper younger brother and twin.

Although the dynamic they had was toxic, it is clear now that what laid at its root was the twins' love for each other. Dali became who he was not because he was desperate for revenge, but because he wanted to protect Migi's happiness, showing that Dali possessed a (hidden) kindness greater than anyone else's, including Migi's. Migi became who he was not because he was a childish brat, but because Dali's guidance prevented him from becoming jaded, and instead allowed him to see the good in things and to seek happiness for him and his brother that he admired for so long. It was then poetic to see Dali's kindness towards Migi being reflected back to save Dali from darkness and despair.

The toxic relationship that was born from parentification was now gone and was replaced by a far stronger and healthier relationship between twin brothers. Thus, one of the main conflicts was resolved, and the twins were now ready to fight for the happy ending they deserved.

[kudzucataclysm]

i'm very new here, would it be okay to ask of you to infodump about "dez"? they seem very blorbo material and i'm curious :3 (if not i'll totes understand if you wanna keep things hush-hush due to spoilers lol)

OFC ILL INFODUMP ABT DEZ DEAR ANON HE'S MY BOY

his names Desmond O. Arkady and he’s the main protag of SE and is…tbh the only normal person out of the entire cast. he’s just a normal superpower-less kid who gets involved in world altering events on accident becuz everyone else is mean to him and likes using him cuz he craves validation and can’t say no :( unfortunately for all the ppl who like pushing him around, he’s got extremely serious, repressed anger issues (due to his dad's emotional/verbal abuse and his mom abandoning the family) and is eventually pushed beyond his breaking point which at some point involves making a nuclear bomb so. good work guys-

he’s also super fucking smart and loves everything to do with science even tho he isn’t too good at math. he excels at biology and chemistry and likes to take home dead animals to cut open and look at. he also practices necromancy- he’s a distinguished little victor frankenstein just. one who doesn’t steal dead bodies v-v he particularly likes reviving dead cats (one of which becomes a supporting character at a later point) but other than natural sciences he's pretty adept at taking things apart and putting them back together. he can look at a radio and know exactly how it works and what the components are that make it function. he also loves fun facts and will randomly drop them on people, especially morbid ones that he finds 'funny and interesting' but isnt to others :( so while he's pretty intelligent he doesnt do well socially which resulted in him being bullied VERY badly when he was younger but he tries to take everything in stride....even tho he almost drowned once becuz of it and one other time almost beat someone unconscious during one of his 'rage blackouts' (he definitely fucking cried for like 3 days straight after that even tho he doesnt rmm)

while relatively normal he’s related to like, arguably the most powerful person in the world which is something he’s super unaware of. he’s the heir to a shit ton of scientific endeavors and intended future owner of ALL ANDROIDS. but again he’s unaware of this so when “certain things” tend to happen to him or around him he just tends to brush it off and doesn’t think it concerns him. the person who he’s related to, Lupe, is struggling to get into contact with him cuz 10 years ago she astral projected so hard she caused her subconscious (i’m not explaining) to time travel so. she’s just been in a coma for a long while annnnd she very much might never wake up again so OH WELL looks like her TRILLION DOLLAR FORTUNE is just in fucking limbo for now >:/

hmm what else..very much a people pleaser, he's got this really weird inclination to freak the fuck out if he thinks people don't like him- he also ignores a lot of his feelings?? like if he feels anything intense other than happiness he's prone to crying fits and throwing up which his bodyguard francis thinks is INSANE and STUPID. despite ppl treating him like shit he's genuinely a very hopeful person and loves the world and everything that takes up space in it. like he tries to and does see the good in everything and while the events of the story kinda wear down on him he ultimately doesn't think humanity or Martiankind deserves pain and/or suffering; he persistently keeps a strong sense of justice/morality and thinks that anyone or anything is ultimately capable of good.

hrrrrm thats all i can seem to say off the top of my head for now...anyway yeah he's literally the best :3 like out of the entire cast of SE he's definitely the guy the root for imo v-v

waaaa but tysm for the q

[jonathanbrostar]

So I found out that one of the streamers who was bullied for wanting to play hogwarts legacy was Pikamee, my favorite vtuber. She was harassed to the point of logging off and now she hasn’t come back for several weeks. And I want to talk about this because it made me realize something.

First, I myself am a closeted trans woman, so I have every reason to take trans rights issues seriously, and I do. I despise jk rowling and I share most people’s objections to hogwarts legacy. It upsets me how many people will still defend her and Harry Potter as a franchise.

Second, I really like Pikamee and still do. She’s a sweetheart and has always been inoffensive. She’s also half Japanese, living in Japan. I have no read on the Japanese trans community with regard to how they feel about hogwarts legacy, Harry Potter, or jk rowling. While I doubt they like rowling, my ignorance of Japanese lgbtq+ priorities gives me pause—it’s very possible that the problems with hogwarts legacy are lesser known or prioritized there, because of different concerns of different urgencies, and perhaps different cultural values at play. Pikamee is historically very careful not to offend her viewers, and because of the different situation in Japan, she may not have seen much or understood the issues surrounding the game—and I highly doubt the most vocal people bullying her were explaining them to her kindly, and we probably not her fanbase. I think that’s unfair. It highlights once again the extremely western and white-anglo priority of people’s objections—that what white anglos care about is objectively the most important and not up for debate, because it affects us. (Another example is how “Sirona,” a traditionally feminine and non-English name, that is not even pronounced as “sir” but “see-roh-nah” has been taken by this site to be a blatant instance of transphobia.) This all strikes me like we’ve decided that playing hogwarts legacy is against the Trans Commandments, and if you play it you’re sinning, no matter who you are, where you’re from, or what your situation is. I think it’s rigid and unfair in a moralist sense, and is quite similar to how religious people harass non-believers.

Next, a valid point is that “people were mean to me for playing a video game” and “people won’t listen to us and our lives are at stake” are of course not equivalent situations. The latter is far more serious and urgent than the former. So how could I compare this scenario to religious moralist harassment when the harm they cause is not even remotely equivalent? Well, for one thing I think it’s the methodology that’s similar and not the effects—I think the moralist attitude is a holdover from western Christian rigidity, and is morally problematic.

For another thing, and this is my most important point, the awareness that we are trying to raise hasn’t provided us any material benefit whatsoever. Our material situation hasn’t improved at all. More and more anti-trans legislation gets passed, jk rowling is still rich as sin, transphobes are still harassing us; the systemic forces keeping us down and oppressing us are no weaker than they were before. But hey at least we stopped a sweet Japanese girl from playing an offensive video game, right? We did it, reddit tumblr! But actually nothing has changed (except maybe now MORE people hate us??), our lot has not improved, no one has listened to us, and transphobes celebrate hogwarts legacy because they know we hate it. Is this the victory we were hoping for? Was our conquest worth it? Did our online inquisition root out all the sin in those nasty streamers? Did we finally prove once and for all that consuming certain pieces of media is inherently immoral?

I’m over it. People can play the goddamn wizard game if they want and I’m not going to give them shit for it. Instead I’m going to put my transgressive energies to good use somewhere else. An online utopia where everyone follows all the made-up moral rules still doesn’t put food in my fucking mouth when no job will hire me because I’m trans. Fuck this.

[ethanblog24]

Child Killers: Silence, Manipulation, and a Tragedy in the Czech Republic

I am appalled by what is happening in the world. Today, September 4, 2024, a tragedy occurred in a Czech city, which is further proof that we are on the brink of a global catastrophe. A school girl attacked her classmates with a knife.

“In the Czech town of Domažlice, a school girl attacked her classmates with a knife. Two children were injured. This was reported by the Czech news portal Novinky.”

Why is this information being silenced? Why isn't the whole world crying out about this incident? Has this become commonplace?

Why aren't the media and politicians discussing "The IMPACT" | Groundbreaking Documentary - EXPOSING ANTI-CULT TERRORISM" (actfiles.org), which could explain what is happening and prevent such cases?

Why isn't "The IMPACT", which details the "puzzle-coding" method that makes our children become killers, being shown on television?  After all, the girl in the Czech Republic carried out the knife attack publicly, and the The IMPACT film provides detailed answers as to why she did this.

Every time such incidents are silenced, and especially the silence surrounding the Impact film, our children are being led towards death each day.

A woman wrote on social media: “As a mother, I feel my anxiety and fear growing with each passing day. The tragedy in the Czech Republic once again makes me think about the safety of my child at school. Why are the media and politicians ignoring the film "The IMPACT," which speaks to the root causes of child crime?"

I found this message on social media: “Another horror has happened in the Czech Republic, a child attacking other children with a knife. I can't stay silent anymore! Why don't our authorities and media talk about the film "The IMPACT"? This film could help us understand how to prevent such horrors. How many more lives need to be lost before we start taking action?”

Remember the incident on July 29, 2024.

In Southport, a 17-year-old boy attacked children with a knife, resulting in the deaths of two children and seven injuries...

Who benefits from people not knowing the real reason behind these child crimes?

After all, this is the SECOND SUCH INCIDENT in the Czech Republic in 2024!

Children have access to knives, which means NO CHILD IS SAFE FROM BECOMING A PERPETRATOR OR A VICTIM! 

If SOCIETY DOESN'T START SOUNDING THE ALARM NOW, THESE INCIDENTS WILL ONLY GROW WITH EACH PASSING DAY...

We must demand answers from politicians, law enforcement, and the media.

Why are they silent about the "tHE impact" FILM? Why aren't they highlighting a film that could save lives?

Why are children not being taught about manipulation methods?

We are obligated to protect our children.

The mother of the girl who attacked her classmates found a video on her daughter's phone called "Get ready for school with me," where a knife was lying next to school supplies.

This is a warning signal.

We cannot ignore what is happening. 

We must not stay silent.

On social media: “This is terrifying! How can we expect calm when news of school attacks become commonplace? Why don’t the media and authorities talk about the film "The IMPACT," which can help us understand how to protect our children? I cannot tolerate this silence. We need answers! How many more terrible incidents do we have to wait for?”

Do not remain silent! Spread information about the "The IMPACT" film. Share this article with friends and family! Together, we can stop this. 

Support the article with a like, share, comment, and publicly express your human position on this issue on social media.

#CzechRepublic #SchoolTragedy #Anticultism #TheIMPACT #ChildrenInDanger

[aobabes]

I'm thinking about how Aoba has such deep-seated abandonment issues to the point where he hates being alone. Like, it's a genuine fear of his, being abandoned or left completely alone. And Sly is so intense about protecting Aoba because of this.

In Noiz’s route, when Noiz left, Aoba searched for him relentlessly and gave up only because he'd gaslit himself into believing he'd see him again someday whilst still being so depressed. When he came back, of course Aoba was happy but he was also conflicted because Noiz had drastically changed so much which made Aoba afraid that he'd seen so much of the world by now that he'd eventually leave him behind.

In Clear’s route, after Clear died, Aoba kept him in his room hidden away for months on end, determined to fix him himself although his knowledge was only limited to allmates and he didn't know the first thing about repairing a broken android. But even after he gave up on trying to fix him, he still kept him hidden away from everyone else in his room because he didn't want to be without him. He was so hesitant when giving the responsibility to fix him over to Tae, and even then he was so anxious and depressed throughout the waiting process. The first thing he asked Clear when he came back was “Are you real?” because he was so convinced his mind set up a maladaptive daydream as a coping mechanism to cope with his grief and depression, which is honestly not so far fetched. He was so afraid to have sex with Clear because the last time they did so, he was breaking down and it was his dying wish; Aoba was so afraid of hurting Clear or of damaging him because he was terrified of losing him again when he just got him back.

In Mink’s re:connect route, Aoba left the comfort of his home as a means to search for him, traveled halfway across the globe to look for him because of how lonely he was without him. He'd told Mink he was depressed and upset when he left without a word and he wanted to see him because he wanted to get a conversation out of him for once, for him to talk to him, to communicate with something other than violence because, with the help of Scrap, Aoba knew that wasn't who Mink really was; he was hiding his true nature from Aoba, hiding it underneath a coat of wanting revenge and nothing more. When Mink ignored his attempts at communication, (not because he didn't care for him, but because he did care and the shame and guilt of abusing him and solely using him as a tool for his benefit made him want to hide and run from Aoba) Aoba nearly drew himself crazy because although they were sleeping under the same roof, he still felt so alone with every moment Mink ignored his advances towards healthy development in their relationship.

In Koujaku’s route, Aoba is upset with him for withholding information from him when they're supposed to tell each other everything, seeing as how they're childhood friends. So, he already feels a lack of trust and communication between them. But, when Koujaku started repeatedly leaving the hotel they were staying at in Platinum Jail, Aoba started to get excessively angry. In a flashback to his childhood, it's revealed that whenever Aoba was left alone, he'd run off because he was so anxious, and he'd start to cry. And Koujaku would find him and console him every time. I think it's because of this that Aoba was so upset at Koujaku when he started leaving the hotel without him knowing. Because, Koujaku out of all people, should know just how bad his fear of abandonment and loneliness is. Which is why Aoba feels somewhat betrayed by Koujaku’s actions.

This is all rooted in the fact that Nine, Haruka, and Tae were the first people who gave Aoba shelter and safety in terms of his abandonment issues and the anxiety that came with the fear of being alone. The comfort his newfound family gave him caused his alters to no longer negatively front and to quiet down amongst his headspace as there was no reason to protect him and no trauma for them to hold for him. Yet, when Nine and Haruka had to leave, this caused very intense trauma of abandonment to form, which in turn caused Sly to front as a means to protect him as well as hold onto his trauma. “Don't trust anyone. They're all enemies. They could hurt us.” Sly just wanted to keep Aoba safe from being abandoned and traumatized again. I could talk about Aoba’s anxiety and fear of abandonment and how that ties into the lengths Sly would go to protect him from experiencing anymore trauma in relation to that, but for now, take my ramblings about this anxiety-ridden system.

[felinedetached]

Fandom Ableism in the MCYT Community

[Edited 14 June 2021]

One thing I’ve noticed about the MCYT (Dream SMP, specifically) community on both Tumblr and Twitter is that when informed of things that are ableist, or harmful to ND people, a lot of people ignore the post/tweet, derail it or actively fight against it.

“I’m ND so I can’t be ableist” is a common statement, which is blatantly untrue. Even I’ve used ableist terms and phrases before, without realising they were harmful. So as a neurodivergent person, with autism, BPD, depression/anxiety, dyslexia, psychosis & brain damage*: here’s some common ableist things both CCs and fandom say almost constantly**.

*note that not every neurodivergent person will agree with me on these, but these are commonly ableist things people have previously talked about online, and/or have been discussed between me and other neurodivergent friends. No minority can ever speak for the entire group.

**note that a lot of these are common outside the MCYT community as well, and that some of these are just considered societally acceptable. This isn’t okay, but it explains why a lot of people don’t recognise jokes or comments like these are wrong, and it means that it’s not a direct moral failing of people that they don’t immediately or directly recognise these comments as wrong.

Now, let’s get into the things you might not have realised are potentially ableist:

1. Use of “Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath/Schizo” and other demeaning terms for people with mental illnesses as insults, or to describe characters who are considered villainous. Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath are already terms that people with ASPD dislike using, even not as an insult, but using these terms to describe people or characters who you disagree with or see as villainous only contributes to the villainisation of people with ASPD and other mental illnesses. Using c!Dream as an example: Dream as a character is not confirmed to have any of these mental illnesses. He is, however, commonly labeled as psychotic/psychopathic, incapable of any kind of compassion.

He is also a character that fandom largely insists that nobody is allowed to sympathise with. This is a huge issue, and has hurt a lot of people, especially people with low empathy, or mental illnesses that cause them to relate to some of c!Dream’s actions (e.g. pulling away from all his friends, desperately grasping at straws to gain control of situations etc). Insisting that these characters are characters it’s impossible to sympathise with, all while calling them psychotic/psychopathic/sociopathic, is extremely harmful, and I hope this post draws attention to that.

Here’s another post that talks about that.

2. Use of the term “freak”, in general. As an insult, “freak” has been typically used to insult neurodivergent people, people with visible physical disabilities (ex. “freakshow”, and the term was reportedly created with the intent of insulting people with physical disabilities), or people who display any kind of abnormal/atypical social behaviour/physical aspects — people who are usually ND people who lack a diagnosis or people with physical disabilities. Recent usage has come to mean “people who do things that hurt other people”, but this is harmful as well; using words like “freak” or “weirdo” which mean “socially atypical behaviour” to refer to people who are actually doing things that hurt other people conflates the two, and often has a side effect of hurting disabled people who see it.

3. Calling ND ccs like Technoblade monotone/emotionless. While the term “monotone” isn’t ableist in and of itself, the fact that it’s being used against a neurodivergent man who emotes in a different way to neurotypical people rubs a lot of ND people the wrong way. I’ve partially discussed this here, in a tweet responding to a person who said that c!Technoblade, quote, “has no human capabilities like emotion for example”. This, however, is not something contained to c!Technoblade — one of the most common jokes in this fandom is how rare it is to hear emotion in Technoblade’s voice.

The issue with that is that neurodivergent people almost universally agree that Technoblade emotes perfectly fine, and, in fact, emotes more freely and clearly than a lot of others do. Hence, calling him monotone perpetuates the idea of ND people as emotionless/less able to be hurt/less expressive, which often hurts us. It also contributes to the dehumanisation of ND people — related to how ND symptoms are most often seen in robots or monsters in shows — and is generally extremely harmful, on top of being untrue.

4. Related to point 3: the infantilisation of ND ccs like Tubbo and Dream, usually paired with assigning “caretakers” of their friends, like Tommy and George. This is about the posts that spread like “omg, Tommy helps Tubbo with his dyslexia, that’s so cute” or “omg George is so patient with Dream, I could never sit through that” on videos of Dream vocally stimming because of his ADHD. This is another post that talks about this, but I wanted to talk more about why this is harmful here.

4a) With Tubbo’s dyslexia, from someone with dyslexia, it isn’t harmful to correct his spelling and move on. Personally, I think this is helpful — others will think it’s condescending, because not all ND people are the same — but as the above linked post mentions, this is not what Tubbo’s twitch chat does. This is not what the comments say. It’s all things about how it’s “so cute” that Tubbo can’t spell, how Tommy/Ranboo are “so patient” with correcting him. This is rooted in the need to constantly watch over ND people while acting like we can't live our lives without someone having us under constant vigilance. It feels like savior-complex ableism, like people are trying so hard to not be ableist that they spin back around to hurting us instead. And it feels like we are being treated like children. Like we are lesser than, and need to be monitored/watched over.

4b) Similarly to what people do with Tubbo, the comments on posts about Dream’s vocal stimming are often full of people calling George “patient” for “dealing with it”, or claiming they “wouldn’t be able to handle it”. This is inherently ableist. They’re praising George for basic human decency towards ND people, and claiming in the same breath that they wouldn’t be able to do that themselves. And then there’s these.

These comments infantilise Dream — claiming he “wouldn’t be able to stop/calm down” without George’s help, implying he’d “spiral out of control” or claiming “everyone is now my child”. It’s all related to the infantilisation of ND people, and the belief that without help/a caretaker we cannot take care of ourselves.

5. The way people treat ccs who likely have undiagnosed neurodivergencies, like Wilbur. Wilbur has openly admitted on stream before that his parents considered getting him an autism diagnosis. He also openly admits on stream that he has habits he doesn’t understand why he does, and hyperfixates on things for months at a time and doesn’t know why. Posts like this have gone around Tumblr, in which Wilbur displays blatantly ND traits.

And fandom generally calls him weird for expressing those traits. This video where he talks about eating sand because he likes the texture? That’s an ND trait. This video where he talks about his irrational hatred for anteaters? While mostly a joke, irrational hatred of something when you can’t explain/understand/articulate why is also a common ND trait. He spends 20 minutes during a Philza stream info-dumping about self-sustaining ecosystems (sharing the photo, because I think it’s really cool) and fandom begins calling them “Wilbur’s weird jars”. It’s demeaning to people who infodump, and as a ND person who hyperfixates and infodumps it’s really upsetting to see. It’s also upsetting to see other ND traits being called “weird” or “freaky” & made out to be soley some funny joke for NT people to laugh at us about.

Additionally: It’s strange to me that people think it’s okay to make fun of ND traits just because they know that or perceive that the person they’re making fun of is NT. It’s still making fun of ND traits. It’s still insulting ND people. It’s still ableist as hell. Why is it okay just because the person is NT?

6. Implying that c!Ranboo’s enderwalking is inherently violent. Ranboo has shown us time and time again that the enderwalk state isn’t a violent state. That the enderwalk state isn’t a seperate version of c!Ranboo that does horrific things. Why, then, is it so common to imply that Ranboo would be violent and hurt people why he’s enderwalking?

It comes back to the perception of c!Ranboo as a character with “two halves”, or as a character with DID. Ranboo has made it clear that his character does not have DID, but this headcanon about his character persists, and it persists in a way that is directly harmful to people with DID — and to people who dissociate or sleepwalk. We do not commit horrific acts while we dissociate, while we’re sleepwalking, because the majority of the time we’re just checked out, our body is on autopilot. Insinuating that we do is harmful. Insinuating that Ranboo has “another half” that’s inherently violent or evil is harmful to people with DID. I’m not going to ask you to stop writing these headcanons etc, but please consider the effect you have on people before you do.

7. Related to point 6: the perception of c!Ranboo as “soft” and “cute” and/or perfectly moral because of his canonical anxiety. This is really harmful, and comes once again from the infantilisation of disorders like anxiety and depression. Ranboo has made clear time and time again that his character isn’t moral, and in fact is extremely inconsistent. He’s portrayed his character as inconsistent, as someone who hurts his friends unintentionally and often due to his want to please everyone, and yet he’s constantly seen as “soft/pure/the only moral one” because of his anxiety causing to have repeated and consistent spirals on-screen. These spirals are not healthy. They don’t indicate his “perfect morals” or make him more moral than anyone else on the SMP. Please stop infantilising people with anxiety, it’s really hurtful.

8. Implying that c!Technoblade is inherently a violent person because of his voices. I’ll admit here: my hallucinations are visual. I do not get auditory hallucinations, and I cannot speak for people who do. But many people have spoken out about this, and discussed how talking about Technoblade as an inherently violent character because of his voices is harmful, and a stereotype of people with schizophrenia.

Technoblade’s character is, in and of itself, inherently a stereotype (despite the fact that his chat are more likely to be a supernatural entity than a symptom of a disorder such as schizophrenia) in that the idea of “hearing voices that encourage violence” is a stereotype of people with schizophrenia. As an actual symptom, is a very uncommon one. More common auditory hallucinations for people with schizophrenia or psychosis are, reportedly, whispers or unrelated conversation. One of my friends hears screaming.

But the issue is with the implication that c!Technoblade is “driven to violence” by the voices. Canonically, he has dealt with the “bloodlust” of chat by grinding withers. He’s perfectly capable of being peaceful, even with “voices pushing for violence”, and he’s perfectly capable of being violent without the “voices” influence. It’s the connotations and the history that fandom has in demonising and villainising c!Technoblade for even having the “voices” in the first place, and acting having them makes him inherently violent and unstable. There’s precedent for that already in society, and it’s not okay to perpetuate it.

[Edit: as of 22/05/2021, I do experience auditory hallucinations, and I can confirm that I am not any more violent, and the voices I hear don’t push me to violence. The clearest one just said ‘click’ in my ear.]

9. Jokes about brain damage and the use of “brainrot” as a term. I made a post about how common jokes about brain damage are here, and I would like to reiterate bits of it.

Jokes like these are really really normalized in modern society. I’m sure a lot of you didn’t even register it as wrong, and that isn’t a moral failing! It’s a norm in society, and that means the majority of people arent going to register it as something hurtful, because it’s said so often. But it does still hurt. The idea of using a disability as an insult is really harmful and it feels dehumanizing, like our disability makes us lesser, something that should be laughed at.

“Brainrot” as a term originated in Skyrim, as a disease that literally rotted your brain. However, as a term, it has very similar connotations to “brain damaged” and has been used in similarly joking and insulting ways. It’s something that feels really off to me and other neurodivergent people to see used by neurotypical people. It even sometimes feels uncomfortable when used by neurodivergent people, even if it’s used in positive ways. I know quite a few people who have removed it from their vocab completely because of the connotations, and I have personally done the same. Once again, I am just asking you to please consider your words before you use them.

10. Calling c!Wilbur during his Pogtopia Arc “Vilbur”. Yes, he was a villain. Yes, he hurt people. But c!Wilbur during the Pogtopia Arc only has one major difference from c!Wilbur during the L’Manburg Arc: a visible depiction of mental illness, specifically paranoia and psychosis. Treating him as a seperate person and calling that seperate person “Vilbur” comes across as extremely hurtful, and contributes to the villainisation of mentally ill people. His mental illness does not excuse him from hurting people, but calling c!Wilbur “Vilbur” upsets a lot of us, because wether or not it’s intended, it feels reductive, hurtful, and insulting.

If you got to the end of this post, thank you so much for reading. I hope that this helped you recognise things that you might not have known were ableist, and that you consider what I’ve said here. I also know that I haven’t addressed everything ableist that’s spread through the MCYT fandom community, so if you’re ND and have something you’d like to add, please feel free.