#but on the other hand i dunno how many ppl are actually gonna read this

[whimsical-sonic]

i mentioned in the oc q&a that sting does contracted work for a former gun researcher by the name of taz nocturn. let's get into that!

pictured from left to right: dr. nocturn (she/her), vi the caracal (they/them), and sting himself

to explain why sting's working for taz, i need to explain a bit of what's going on with her. long story short, taz left gun to pursue what started as a pet project. she's been experimenting with chaos energy, studying how it interacts with the organic and inorganic, all with an ulterior motive in mind. her research is completely secret. so secret, in fact, that her lab is an abandoned subway system that had been repurposed to suit her needs

vi is taz's assistant. with taz's permission, vi hired sting, having learned about him via a newspaper ad (where he was promoting his services, he was a little desperate for cash). taz and her scientists don't usually leave the subway, and vi can only travel so far...sting is the one they rely on to get them new equipment, new material, new intel. sting is also the person they contact to help them, uh, find participants for their experiments

sting does not know what it is they're testing for nor do the scientists want him to know, can't let anyone on the outside know what it is they're researching. he gets paid well enough to not question it, but he can't help but get a little curious...

in terms of interactions, almost all work-related meetings are with vi. sting has only spoken to taz...maybe about 2 times? 3? taz doesn't really leave her research. she appreciates that sting isn't one for small talk, and he appreciates that she gets right to the point

during the events of my fanstory, a certain blue hedgehog and two-tailed fox start snooping a bit too close to the lab, assuming that eggman is up to something (fair assumption). not wanting to risk discovery, vi called upon sting to go deal with them

if this interests you, please consider voting for sting! 🦂 vote for him here 🦂

if you want to learn more about him, check out his socs2 tag here!

@sonic-oc-showdown

[jess-the-vampire]

Sooooo whatya think of the new episodeee?

Oh it’s definitely my favorite episode of the series so far, i was having such a good time at every turn. I’m glad i went out of my way to avoid spoilers, cause i was glad to actually be surprised by some elements on first watch.

I think this had by far the best opening for an episode so far, we finally get back to the villians, we meet the coven heads, we get insight on belos’s plans-

and then belos gets constipated, which starts getting into the more character driven lore, which is the best part. You instantly can tell GG and Kiki have some bit of tension between them to be Belo’s favorite, though granted i wonder if hunter is the only one to know belos is cursed and actually just always insists to help belos with his fits to prevent others from seeing them.

Including kiki.

It’s honestly unclear how aware anyone is that belos is cursed, like him eating pailsmans is apparently not something he hides, but like....i feel him being cursed is something that people would know universally if it got out...so i’m left wondering if anyone knows besides hunter.

Regardless, belos turns into a goop monster with an angry side, and i guess his mask doesn’t transform with him compared to the rest of his body so he breaks it again because i guess he goes though masks like crazy.

Hunter turns away in this scene from his outburst and even though he’s masked here i can already tell he’s most likely pained in these scenes. Like he’s probably seen this happen so many times, and i can’t imagine it gets any easier for him, it’s probably awful to watch belos suffer like this for him (Regardless of the abuse)

And to be honest, it seems pretty painful for him, i think this ep seems to at least confirm whatever this thing is that takes over belos’s body.....belos never actually wanted it in the first place. 

Yeah so after Hunter tells belos there’s not enough trees to medicate him anymore, we’re hit with the “UNCLE”. Which, when i first watched it i needed a second to even process the fact they confirmed their relation.

and i was like “CLOSE ENOUGH”, not his kid but uncle still works just fine for me, i’m just happy my assumption they were related actually came to ahead.

And i rewatched this episode a few times, and on second watch i realized more what happened in this scene. Hunter was talking about his interest in wild magic, and making more pailsman to help belos, and some method that could heal him and as soon as belos looked at him he instantly shut down.

He was clearly rambling about wild magic cures for belos because of his interest in it, and then suddenly remembered his uncle hates wild magic and felt super awkward.

It seems highly likely his interest in wild magic came from trying to cure belos and spending a lot of time reading up on the stuff. 

And then we get hit with the whole “Our family is dead because of wild magic” line, which.....i’m curious to know what happened there. But it does at least explain why belos feels how he does, if wild magic both killed his family beside hunter AND cursed him in the first place. We’re just gonna need more info on what exactly happened.

Also while Belos is def abusive and does not treat hunter how he should, this scene actually does read off to me like belos does care about hunter to some degree. If belos is cursed and his curse works in similar ways to how Eda’s curse works, then it’s worth reminding ppl that eda mentions early this season how stress can amplify the curse even more.

And sure enough, belos goes goopy on hunter’s shoulder all of a sudden when he grasps him. Which could be considered a sign of stress and that the idea of hunter dying or being in danger actually does stress him.

You could very much also assume this is just due to his curse not being fully handled and just getting worse, or that belos only cares about hunter for selfish reasons....but i’m not taking anything off the table here.

Belos can still be a shitty uncle, and still care about hunter, these aren’t mutually exclusive traits. But we need more episodes for now on this.

But anyways he asks hunter if he can rely on him, kiki is pissed......and we move on.

So i’m glad luz’s impulsiveness is addressed a ton in this episode, they actually bring up a lot of good points. That luz has no plan, that the time she’s spending here might render moot if she goes back to earth, ect ect.

Hunter even calls her out a lot later for not thinking things through, it’s a whole deal in this episode. I’m glad it was brought up cause it’s actually worth asking a lot of these things.

the set up here works, they actually made a good reason for why a pailsman didn’t bond with her. Speaking of which the adoption thing is cute and i love it, it’s a great idea. The designs are all very cute and fun.

Bump face reveal was a lot for me to process, but i find the idea of his pailsman being a pet that can help with his disabilities a good idea.

Also like, i did find it odd that they got staffs so early because we’ve never seen kids their ages with them before, but i guess it’s a new tradition? Does everyone at hexside now have one?

Honesty not sure why batqueen left the nest there overnight, i meant i guess she assumed they were safe with that shield but in context i dunno why she didn’t take them home after the school day was over.

but whatever, luz stays there overnight hoping  a pailsman will bond with her and GG just kidnapps them cause of pure luck on his part a bunch of pailsman were in a vulnerable spot tonight.

So GG continues to be charming, by whistling the theme song and then being blasted off his ship hilariously, before cockily teleporting himself right back on it seconds later. Like he and luz have great banter, he’s so extra like this it’s so funny, and god he’s so FAST with that staff it’s scary but so awesome.

Yeah so then hand dragon crashes them and i was so excited cause it meant face reveal. Poor dude looked so in pain and then we find out kiki tried to effing murder him because of course she did. But like, i think killing your boss’s nephew is the WORST way to get a promotion tbh.

(Also i got confused for a bit cause his mask has always been drawn as a mask, but now it’s a helmet in this scene for whatever reason but-)

Anyways, face reveal, Like honestly ppl weren’t too far off with their guesses, really the only thing people didn’t get was the tooth gap (That was fair tho, we couldn’t have guessed that). But it did make him even cuter.

like the banter is funny, he licks her hand, she slaps him, he looks SO pissed at her for this mess.

and i guess that outfit is his under armor apparently.

He’s lucky she didn’t run away immediately and followed him, but maybe he assumed she would since she had no where else to go.

Also his expressions in this ep are glorious, these had to be fun to draw.

Also we find out that the coven team members have never seen his face i guess? They just assume he’s a silly kid and are awful to him, so i guess he’s not only the youngest member of the coven but he never really shows his face much.

(”Call your parents”, ha ha.....whose gonna tell them who his uncle is?)

He is however, REALLY good at parkour and he’s fast even without his staff, so he’s well trained alright.

And then they reveal he’s not magical and i was SO happy cause i was so sure something was up when he wasn’t doing magic like the other witches despite his pointy ears. So they outright confirmed what i thought.

Hunter is pretty smart tho, like he can tell luz wouldn’t hurt him and wouldn’t flee so he knows he has the high ground here. Like he might be being a bit of a dick, but to be fair luz has been nothing but a dick to him throughout the whole episode (Everyone in this episode has been a dick to him tbh)

They team up and i get excited cause i love this kinda stuff and it gets more wholesome because hunter is super interested in her magic, he thinks it’s cool and you can tell how much he actually loves wild magic but then again...shuts himself down because of belos making him fear the stuff.

An then because luz asks, he tells her his backstory.

honestly with how this world treats people who aren’t magically powerful, living and growing up in a world that would find you useless sounds....awful. Hunter must be an anomaly around here, human blood or not.

Luz coming here to learn is different then growing up in a world and being the only one with no abilities and no future without them. Belos provides him with magic and a future, it’s no wonder he stays with him despite everything.

the whole “Found me” thing is weird, cause belos implies they’re blood related and hunter makes it sound like belos semi-adopted him. Which....if he did i dunno why “Uncle” and not “Adopted dad”, but ok....guess that’s for later.

Apparently hunter is important for something tho with the “Titan has big plans for me” thing, not sure what, but-

But yeah as soon as Hunter talked about wanting to make his own future and Rascal tried to land on him i knew EXACTLY where this was going, it was so cuteeeeee. The lil birb wanted to be with hunter, that’s so wholesome.

And he’s so terrified because of belos and what wild magic did to him, the poor bab.

But yeah, luz then trusts him with his staff back, because again....impulsive. But hunter does actually ask if she’s sure, so he might as well be asking if she trusts him.

The plan goes ahead, and hunter nearly betrays her.

though granted, hunter never promised her he’d stop and let her take them away, the truce was supposed to last till kiki was stopped and they were gonna fight out who got the pailsman. But it does bother luz cause she was hopeful he was better then this.

But just like he did before, she calls him out and he doesn’t betray her, because he’s ALSO too nice to do it, just like he said she was. He says his name (Which also took a moment to process), and then beats the crap out of kiki while letting luz get away and protecting her like a badass.

He might not have magic, but he’s good at fighting

like he can easily teleport to luz and take the pailsman, but he doesn’t, he lets them get away and luz knows this. Even though she also knows hunter has to go back to the emperor too and they have to separate.

It’s only slightly bitter terms, because in the end he came through for her and she knows it.

honestly, the worst part is i can’t even be mad at hunter for it, i’m sure he was terrified to fail belos. Both because he loves him and doesn’t want him to suffer....but also because of well...being punished. Really says something when his near betrayal doesn’t even make me mad at him, and i can understand why he nearly did it.

He let her go, knowing he’d be in SERIOUS trouble and that it would hurt someone he actually loves, so....ouch.

so yeah at this point i knew rascal wanted him so it was only of matter of what happened next.

Which was, luz getting the wood, which i like more anyway. Eda and King doing this offscreen and coming home like this is actually very funny, and honestly i appreciate the message of it being ok to wait.....means a lot to me.

yeah so belos is like...being an ass, like the kid tried his hardest, you don’t need to hit him with the “Is this the thanks i get?”. He’s a kid and he’s trying to cure you you dick, give him a break he doesn’t remotely have to help you like this.

Also apparently belos has not even told hunter HOW this happened, like...dude. Hunter is trying to be entirely reasonable here and belos spikes at him, which does imply some physical abuse though the only reason hunter doesn’t get a new scar is because he moves.

but how he reacts implies this has happened before, he is bracing for impact and he flinches. It’s pretty sad tbh, especially since hunter loves him and belos’s respect means something to him.

Belos is such an idiot, like c’mon dude, hunter is trying to help you and you don’t listen to him you dick. Kid shouldn’t have to say sorry for anything he did nothing wrong, he was just trying to help.

Anyways, he gloats at kiki (So at the very least she knows what he looks like under the mask), which he deserves a chance to do anyway. So i guess he didn’t rat her out for trying to kill him, personally my guess why is blackmail.....he was gonna hold it over her head to keep her from doing it again and threaten to tell belos.

But kiki quickly tells he LET the pailsman get away since he was the one to fight her (Curse his cute loose hair strand). So i guess now they have dirt on each other, so that’s fun.

His room is adorable, though the med kit by the bed is concerning.

Rascal comes for him and it;s so cute....though you can tell hunter nearly hurts him on instinct because of force of habit, but it’s so cute how he cares and how the birb loves him and is his new staff.

it was well hinted to as well, it’s so subtle, but the bird being cheery, curious, and his constant habit of escaping boundaries was perfect for hunter. He represents what hunter wants to be and why they got matched is done so well, all without explaining anything.

Hunter indirectly stated his deepest wish, to make his own choices, and rascal resonated with that. 

can’t wait to see where this goes.

great ending shot, love me some conflicted shots looking out of windows like trapped birds.

also this title was a pun the whole time i can’t-

[dianaburnwood]

HITMAN 3: First Impressions

This post is full of SPOILERS. Also, it is LONG, so.... yeah. Be prepared lol 

HITMAN 3. Also known as: Diana’s Game. 

Dear GOD I am in love. 

I’m going to do my best to make this coherent. But. I am still freaking out. And I have SO much more to explore!!!! This won’t be very in-depth because I played each map exactly once so far. There’s so much left to see, conversations to overhear, opportunities to exploit - but, I DO have some first impressions, oh hell yes. 

Menu: 

That menu music!!! I was not expecting that at all. It was a mix of choral and classical with previous themes intertwined, and it reminded me of Blood Money. Speaking of Blood Money, this game is Blood Money. 

Dubai: 

Very, very beautiful. Kinda thought Grey made it all about himself lol of course he wanted to say “in your face” to the partners, but it was like 47 was just there to pull the trigger, like he’d not been hurt by them too. But, I really liked it. Trapping them in a room and watching them freak while Grey watched me kill them?? Helloo??? Popping off HARD from the start and I love it.

So - here’s the thing. I don’t get the timing. Diana tells them then that Edwards escaped. Did he escape just before the boys got to Dubai? Or were they unavailable to reach until then? It seems that the message Grey got at the end of HAVEN was after Olivia hacked the HAVEN servers, and then the boys were out of reach so after Diana discovered Edwards was gone, she couldn’t tell them until Dubai? And it was shown to us in a different order to leave us hanging? I dunno. Maybe? It seems weird. 

THE CUTSCENE here omg - once again establishing that 47 and Diana are ride or die. “Diana will make it right, she always does” - BABE. BABE. SWEET BOY. His little face when Grey doesn’t trust Diana. OMGGG.

Dartmoor: 

I went the murder mystery route, of course. I figured it was Emma from her conversation with her husband, but I got all the clues after just to be sure. Can’t believe Carlisle just handed 47 the file on Edwards and then went out alone on the balcony like I wasn’t gonna kill her??? Bitch????? do you forget who i am?????? Anyway, the murder mystery was SO much fun, but I can’t wait to infiltrate this manor in other ways. Lots of Beldingford vibes here.

THE CUTSCENE bdsfgafhlsjfah WAHT????? Ok so HOW did Edwards know where they were? And - ok, so it made for an amazing scene, but Grey is a badass. He is a mercenary genius that duped the ICA and brought Providence to its knees. How did he get himself surrounded in the woods by CICADA? But he did, and it was beautiful, and he literally only shot himself to save 47, and the LOOK in 47′s eyes on his balaclava face - I just bfjKSFasad. I can’t believe he died so early tho. I was very sure he’d die somehow, but SO early. WOW. 

Berlin:

fucking hell. Berlin. fuck. fucckkkk. 

I wanna shout out to Mini (not gonna tag you in case you’re avoiding spoilers) but hot damn girl if you’re reading you were BANG ON about 47 wearing Grey’s coat. I really didn’t think it was his. It was. It is such a beautiful way for 47 to express his emotions about this death without actually saying anything. Omg. It was perfection. I’m crying thinking about it.

BERLIN was where this game really upped its... game. Like WOW. 5 targets, and it’s the ICA. Clearly Edwards went to the ICA board at this stage and was like uhhhh so you need to take these ppl out. HOWEVER I am amazed that the ICA is like “oh, ok”. DO you not remember what happened in SOUTH DAKOTA. 

But going after the ICA is a fucking trip and I love it. I love how 47 says each agent’s name to himself. I love how he listens in and the team handler realises it. I love how she pulls the rest of her team out once you get 5. I love that the ICA agents use disguises too!!! This is truly APEX PREDATOR and I love that they named it that. Y’all think you have the balls to go up against 47??? bitch?????

But the fact that you have to find the targets and none of them are marked is so fantastic. I found 6, but I have no idea how many are actually available - but I’m gonna find out!!! The club is HUGE as well, and lots of throwbacks to Contracts, especially with the biker gang. Amazing. Amazing level. I’m so excited to replay it. 

Also they really addressed the elephant in the room with the ICA agents describing 47 as a caucasian male, bald, average height and ppl being like uh that’s every man here, and then he said yeah but he’s got this big tattoo lmao 

Chongqing

ok this is where I started to think this game was my fanfiction. Inside the ICA? Showing off how truly international it is, and high tech. Hidden in plain sight. Ready to dismantle in 12 hours if needed. SO perfect. This lore builds on Absolution and Blood Money ICA lore in wonderful ways. 

Also, I don’t know why the IOI and DK of the logo looked different in the trailer, they must have been just hard to make out. Cos in the game, the ICA logo is the same as all previous games. 

Also, analysts do client vetting? Intrigue. Always assumed that was part of the handlers’ job. I take it all back Diana, you have never done anything wrong in your life, ever 

I killed Royce by firing the ppl she recommended so she’d get trapped in the data core cleaning. I killed Hush (what a name I love it) as his patient. 

Working with Olivia is really fun. I missed Diana, but Olivia brought a whole fresh perspective. I also really like how neither Grey nor Olivia are as good as Diana - they both fucked up while guiding 47 at least once. 

47 saying “...I will leave you to prepare” to Olivia, I yelled fdagsfa

Also I love how 47 decided to expose the ICA exactly like Diana did in Absolution. Those two. One of a kind. My heart. And his desire to protect her. I love that the files showed their start together. Olivia saying “I can see why you...” and then she stopped herself. We all KNOW what she was gonna say. 

AND AND AND AND 

the cutscene - I screamed

“47 has one weakness. Me.” 

I swear to fucking GOD, IO has seen into my soul. I’ve said all along that Diana is 47′s weakness, and he is hers. But to hear it said, aloud, by my girl? WHAT???!!!!!

Mendoza

Ok. OK. OKKKKKK. OK. I can’t even write about this one. This was where I was pretty sure I was hallucinating the entire level. This is my Diana and 47 dreams come true. This is insane. This is EVERYTHING.

So we have OUR MOMENT IN THE SUN. She puts her HAND on HIS HAND and he looks in fucking wonderment at it. ahugarhiewEG;FEJGHEFlejlhsgfes;gjrsgt. I can’t. I can barely get through writing about this. 

Diana - the dress, the Jolie thigh slit, the jewellery, the hair (they finally fixed her fucking hair), SASS. “I have tango fever” omg. 

How do these ppl not have a pic of 47 by now lol 

I followed Diana and Vidal around cos I was entranced by my girl. Diana was fucking amazing each time. So much sass. Little did I know I interrupted them enough times for Vidal to say “ok son let’s talk”. I saw the tango and I was like omg imagine if I could dance with Diana. 

well.

WELL. 

Anyway, got to kill Vidal via her own setup for me, and that was amazing. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I snuck into the house to kill Yates, and overheard him calling Edwards’ voicemail. Also, it is April 2021?? So, yeah. My previous dates were way wrong lol. 

And then, ALL MY DREAMS CAME TRUE. Diana and 47 fucking dancing the tango? I was pissed that I was in a security guard outfit, next time I play he will be in his tuxedo baby. 

Diana’s comments to 47 when he’s in disguise tho, I was freaking. As security “you look like a true professional. I feel so much safer with you gentlemen around” aaahhhh

UH HE FELL TO THE GROUND COS OF POISON fngjfagfljgnsdfa

I am so glad I was right about my baby girl tho. She even told him “you didn’t have a choice” about her parents. Good. I’m so glad I was right about that. But omg it broke my heart to have 47 so, SO, SOOO sure of Diana all along, defending her to Grey and Olivia, knowing, KNOWING that she was on his side, and then, he eventually started to doubt it. 

I was screaming at my screen - this is BLOOD MONEY! SHe is doing what she did in BLOOD MONEY!!!!

But, for a second, 47 wasn’t sure anymore. And Diana played her part well. 

Carpathian Mountains

Ok, what I love most about Contracts was how it gave us an insight into 47′s psyche, and this game upped that tenfold. Him seeing all his targets surround him? Him imagining Diana and the Constant dancing together? Him imagining her say terrible things about him, things he’s thought about himself deep down, always, omg, but he finally snapped out of it. Ironic that thinking about Grey snapped him out of it, when in life Grey had not trusted Diana. But 47 came to the realisation on his own. Diana would never betray him. 

opening that door and finding out you’re on a fucking train?????? I screamed. 

I am a bit disappointed that it turned out Romania wasn’t significant, they just happened to be passing through. But omg the fact that you are “subject 47″ again. I freaked. This is 47′s worst nightmare. 

I love that you have a free pass to kill everyone in this level. I did it in stealth anyway, cos it felt wonderfully tense to sneak through that train. But wow. This is another BIG risk that IO took. The train was straight out of Uncharted, and crafting a silencer for your pistol??? Hello The Last of Us????? But I don’t care. They used those elements super well. 

I think some people will be angry at this game because parts of it (especially the last level) were a departure from how HITMAN and HITMAN 2 worked. But I love it. I love that they took risks to tell the story they wanted to tell, and those risks paid off. 

47′s undying loyalty to Diana, omg. Telling Edwards bye bitch, I’ll never forget who I am again, and Diana thinks you suck. <3<3<3<3<3

ENDING

OH MY GOD. ONE YEAR LATER????? 47 obviously took some time off cos he fucking needed a break. But he’s back, baby. Ending on “it’s good to be back” was wonderful. The game ended where the 2015 trailer for HITMAN started, and I’m crying. He’s ready to continue with Diana, and not because it’s what he was made to do, not because he doesn’t know what else to do, but finally, because he CHOOSES to do that. 

But one year later? What does that mean? Has Diana rebuilt the ICA like in Blood Money, or will she and 47 work together without anyone else? They’ll need the infrastructure that an organisation like the ICA has though. Diana said she would dismantle Providence from the top down once Edwards was gone, but how? Does that mean dismantling what’s left of the ICA? They were one and the same by the end of the game. All that didn’t just disappear. I’m left with so many questions. 

I was disappointed Diana wasn’t in the cabin when 47 got there. And I wonder why she wasn’t. She knew he was coming, but they are clearly still on good terms. Maybe she wasn’t sure what to expect. But does that mean they hadn’t spoken in a year since??? But she didn’t sound surprised to hear him, and he had coordinates that he was following, so I think they arranged to meet. But her phone was in there when he arrived, and she wasn’t. Maybe he was tracking her phone? Did she come back there to him after????? 

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT 

the game 

ended

with 47

smiling 

And for that I will be forever grateful. 

Ok bye, I need to play it again. RIP work tomorrow lol 

[lollytea]

Fearless (part 1/3)

(Ty/Louie fairytale au fic. i am simply a bitch writing about my au and my oc so it is all very catered to me personally and im aware not a lot of ppl will read it. but if you DO read it, i love u so much. i guess tw for blood/serious injuries relating to teen characters. nothing too graphic but be warned. Also if you’re curious, info on the au here, here and here.)

_________________________

[OCTOBER 22ND, 6:19PM] The sky was bleeding pink and orange and Louie tried to focus on it. Didn't take much brainpower to appreciate a sunset. He clung to the sight with desperation, muttering the simplest thoughts under his breath like a mantra.

It was pretty. He liked sunsets. He liked pink. He liked orange. The distraction wasn't working. The unpleasantness that was already writhing in his stomach churned. His finger was on his temple, idly tracing delicate circles against the tightly wrapped bandage. His head hurt. The point where his shoulder met his upper arm was also dressed. The stitching still had to heal up. That hurt too. Louie was pretty stupid. Which was not something he usually thought. But it was a real kick in the confidence when someone sharp-witted did something stupid. And it was a real kick in the heart when someone who didn't wanna hurt anybody ended up hurting somebody. This was stupid. He had already tried reading as a means of distraction. Too hard. Too many words. Way too much of a strain on his mild concussion. This was so, so stupid. Sitting by his windowsill, he hoped this dumb bandage would be gone soon. His forehead felt sticky and damp with sweat. He was stupid. He wished Webby were here. If she were, she'd be in the courtyard below his window sparring with Dewey. At least then, Louie could watch and keep his mind occupied. No. No, that wasn't right. If Webby were here, she would've attached herself to Louie by now, hugging him tight until his injury healed. If it had been any other incident, Louie would let her, crumbling into her arms and whimpering about the pain as his amazing, magical sister made it all ebb away. But this wasn't any other incident. If Webby were here, he wouldn't be able to accept her hugs. The very idea rubbed him the wrong way. If anyone was entitled to healing hugs, it wasn't Louie, it was--.... His face twisted up. Webby wasn't here. She was off on some quest with Lena. Probably wouldn't be back for days. So there was no point in dwelling over hypotheticals. Louie would heal on his own. They were both gonna have to heal on their own. The sunset was fading.

It was pretty. Pink... Orange.... He couldn't do this. 

Why was he doing this?! Louie always knew himself to be a coward but this was to a pathetic extent. Depraved even. He felt sick. 

He couldn't. He just couldn't. Every additional second he spent hiding in his room was weighing him down. It was suffocating. But he couldn't leave. He was too scared.

Freezing up just like always. Just stop being so fucking scared! He would have to confront what he did eventually. There was no way around it. So, why couldn't he just go now? Louie had far worse things in his life to be dreading. Far worse. A ticking clock of trepidation was seated deep inside him. A predestined future he couldn't rewrite which, on all accounts, should render him paralyzed. But he wasn't. This was the sort of thing to demolish him. Apparently. Stupid. This shouldn't be overdriving his other senses. This shouldn't be flooding his mind. He shouldn't be drowning right now. This shouldn't have his hands shaking. This shouldn't have him pacing the length of his room. This shouldn't be stealing the oxygen from his lungs. His brain was pounding against his skull, protesting his rapid back-and-forth movement. He was dizzy. He shouldn't be crying. Fuck it! He was always crying, who cares about that?! Just stop panicking, just stop crying, just stop being so selfish for once and just own up. Louie's back crashed against his door, gasping for breath. Stars were blotting his vision and he couldn't breathe and it was the end of the world. Okay. Okay. He was spiraling again. That was all it was, it would be okay. It would be okay. The prince's bed chambers, alive with the choking sound of contained distress, subsided to complete silence for just a moment. Inhale. Exhale. And then all to be heard was a small, crackling voice straining to sing himself a quiet little lullaby. ___________ [OCTOBER 22ND, 10:07AM] "Your highness, don't be an idiot. You can't just---Hey! Wait up!" "H'oh boy..." Louie's eyes flicked to the high heavens. Right now he felt like he was tasked with personally escorting this goddamn boy across this goddamn forest by the goddamn ankles. He whirled around impatiently, crossing his arms with a flourish. "Pick up the pace, Tiberius. We don't have all day." "Can you maybe not be a huge pain for like... I dunno, five minutes?" Snapped Ty, his dearly devoted retainer and most notorious pain-in-the-tail. "Can you maybe loosen up? Y'know it's a real mood killer when there's a paranoid guy on my case all the time, insisting that the whole world is out to get me. Being constantly reminded of my fragile mortality? Woo, talk about fun times." Scowling, Ty stumbled his way over a protruding tree root. "You've got a bad habit of attracting danger, you know that, right? I'm pretty sure it's a Duck thing." The remark slapped the annoyed expression right off Louie's face. Ty quirked an eyebrow. "What's that look for?" Before he could further analyse, Louie sharply turned on his heel and strode on. "It's a Duck thing." He said, keeping his tone even. Both of them knew it was a Duck thing. Ty just didn't know the half of it. "Your highness," He heard Ty gripe. "You know this is a bad idea. A prince shouldn't be out in the open like this without proper protection. And I'm unprepared right now. I can't--" If Ty weren't yakking so much, Louie wouldn't know if he was still there. He wasn't wearing his armor for once so the familiar clank and clatter of metal was nonexistent. "You got your sword, right? You can do a lot of damage with that thing." "Yeah but no juice. And I need juice. See, 'cause what if we get in a tight spot and you--?" "What do you think is gonna happen, Ty?! For the love of all that is gold, It's just a party." "It's never just anything." He grumbled. Ty jogged ahead a little, matching his pace to Louie's. His footsteps alongside him were purposefully heavy So, he was stomping now. Real mature. Louie rolled his eyes. He was fully aware Ty was pissed, he didn't have to go above and beyond to make his anger known. "You really think I'm an idiot who doesn't take safety precautions? I'll have you know keeping Prince Louie alive isn't just your problem. Prince Louie is pretty serious about that too." He gestured to himself. "If you haven't noticed, I'm incognito today. I've got no crown, no mantle, no status whatsoever. And look at these ugly peasant threads," Louie pointed out, tugging at the hem of his dull green tunic. "It's actually kinda depressing how drab I look. I'm never gonna do this again actually. But! See how committed I am right now? Who's gonna recognize me? As we're all aware, I'm pretty well known for my pizzazz." "Just 'cause you stop being a prince doesn't mean danger stops existing." "No but it makes you way less of a target. Now, are you really gonna spend your whole day off bitching at me?" 

The glare Ty shot him was petulant at best. "Well, I didn't wanna. But I got dragged along on this little adventure so guess I gotta." Louie pursed his beak, irritated. He did not drag Ty along anywhere. 

"Come to think of it, I don't remember saying you had to follow me." Well, that came out as harsher than intended. Ty didn't seem hurt. At least, there was no sign that he was. No expression cracked his stone mask. "I've got a duty." Louie scoffed. Ty and his stupid duty. It was really starting to wear on his nerves. But not today, absolutely not today. On this fine, glorious day, Louie was intent on having fun. He would show up at this little forest shindig and he would drink and dance and schmooze and whatever else any carefree person at a party would do. He would forget about everything that was eating at him. He wasn't gonna let it consume him, he wasn't. He was gonna live. While he still could. His sixteenth birthday loomed closer. Six months left. "Sorry." Said Ty, unprompted. The shadows festering in Louie's head cleared out as he snapped back to the present. Ty had his eyes firmly downcast, a noticeable slump to his posture. "It's not like I wanna be running around killing the fun all the time. I really don't. But I gotta." Louie said nothing. His eyebrows rose in quiet astonishment as he studied Ty's side profile. He remembered when Ty first came into his life. Twelve years old, brandishing a sword too big for his body and grinning lopsidedly in an unmistakably trouble seeking sorta way. A real firecracker of a boy, loud and bright. Hungry for adventure and excited to throw himself head first into the action. He remembered one of Ty's earliest and most confident statements. When he lowered himself to bow to Louie in his uncle's throne room and declared that the prince would never fear for his life again. Because Ty would protect him and Ty was fearless. Louie believed him. Make no mistake, Ty had plenty of bite back then too. He had disliked Louie and the feeling had been mutual. But he never doubted that Ty had spoken the truth with his entire heart. Ty was fearless. When Louie was with Ty, he was safe. He believed that and he always had. Despite how they clicked as well as a dagger and a keyhole. Despite Ty being annoying. So annoying. He was still annoying. But it was different now. Louie couldn't pinpoint when that permanent glowing smile of his had dwindled and a thin frown had become Ty's default expression. His sword, something he always used to proudly haul around over his shoulder, now unceremoniously sheathed against his belt. Although Louie had noticed that his right hand never strayed too far from the hilt.   Protecting royalty with your entire being was an all-consuming duty and it seemed, at some point, the reality of such an allegiance had slapped Ty across the face. He had this distinct way of holding himself now. Always stood straight and rigid, coiled up with agitation. He was prepared to fight at a moment's notice but it was clear the thrill of doing so had been long since drained out of him. He still smiled. He still laughed. But only sometimes. Ty was annoying because he was paranoid. Because he was snarky. Because he was too stiff, too protective. And man, what Louie wouldn't give to have Ty's former brand of annoying back. At least never made him feel sorry for the guy. "Can I ask you a favor?" Louie finally spoke, pushing back a drooping tree branch so they could walk below it "You can try." Ty shrugged, his gaze still fixed ahead. "What if we just turn off this whole 'Prince and Retainer' thing today. Whadd'ya think?" He turned to him blankly, complete with a slight tilt of the head that made Louie a tiny bit weak. "Wha....?" Ty was simply not computing. He looked as though Louie was throwing out algebra equations and he was supposed to solve them right on the spot. And he was not a math guy by any means. The cute clueless expression was making it a little hard to focus. Louie swallowed. "Listen." He began, his thumb dragging itself across his sweaty palm as he struggled with how to phrase this. Louie had a way with words, always had. But he had a tendency to trip over his own tongue when Ty was involved. Especially when Ty was staring at him with his soft cande-light eyes and doing that stupid adorable head tilting thing and-- "You need a break." Louie blurted out. "You're stressed like constantly and it's getting kinda insufferable and I think your Dad would sick a dragon on me if his barely fifteen year old son suddenly kicked it 'cause of a paranoia overload so I think you should just forget about being my big strong hero for today and come hang out with me at this stupid peasant party and we can just be two regular kids instead of a royal and his bodyguard do you think you could give me that Tiberius?" It was only in the following beat of silence that Louie realized how fast he spat that all out. He struggled to catch his breath. One second. Ty blinked. Two seconds. A flicker of vacant eyes and then a rush of realization. And then disbelief. And then-- Three seconds. His brow scrunched together and a snarl crinkled his muzzle. His eyes flared. Oh, he was mad.... "Are you crazy?!" Ty shouted. He was beside himself with a malfunctioning mix of fury and incredulity that had him stammering his words. "You-You can't just--.....D-do you even-- you don't...do you realize how disrespectful that is? For you to say it? For-For me to do it?! I was given this duty by the King! The fucking King! To just suddenly "turn it off" would be--....I can't--!" Maybe "mad" was an understatement. "Ty--" Louie tried. He was cutting across Louie, treading back and forth on their forest path,. Not going further, not going back. Just walking to nowhere for the sake of being too scandalized to possibly stand still. Louie was attempting to get Ty's attention by grabbing his tunic but he kept shaking him off. "I'd be a disgrace! An embarrassment! I'm trusted by the royal family to keep--...to keep you safe! I-I can't just walk around with my liege like I'm on vacation and not be on guard! You don't even get it, you--" "Ty!" Louie said loudly."You wanna maybe listen for a sec?!" Frankly, he was surprised Ty halted his tirade. His eyes were blown wide, stunned and Louie wasn't quite sure why until he followed Ty's look, snapping down. Seems in his effort to get a hold of the guy, he had instinctively reached out and snatched Ty's wrist. They stood frozen for a moment, each set of eyes boring into the touch that tied them together. Louie's fingers began to uncurl. Then he decided no. His grip on Ty tightened with a purposeful squeeze. Ty met his gaze, looking....panicked? Confused? Didn't matter. He could besottedly dissect his unreadable facial expressions later. Louie inhaled, deciding to shoulder his dignity for just a second. No safety rails of snark this time. Ty might make fun of him for being sincere later but this was important. "Don't you miss being a kid with nothing to worry about?" Louie implored. "Because if we're being real, I don't think we're ever gonna get to live like that again." Ty muttered something to himself, shaking his head a little. "But listen," Louie continued, taking a step into Ty's personal bubble. Ty took an automatic step back. But since he was still holding his hand, Louie was led a step forward. It was difficult to tell with the pink fur but he could've sworn Ty reddened. "Look I know it's weird for me to be asking but....can't we just take a risk today? It's just a party in the woods. Literally the least likely place to find any danger in the whole kingdom." "We shouldn't--" "Ty, please." Honestly, Louie was a little surprised at himself. He hadn't even planned for Ty to accompany him anyway. But in the heat of the moment, everything had shifted upside-down. Turns out there was something inside him willing to beg. Something that wanted more than anything, for Ty come along. He just wanted a simple memory of just killing time with Ty. Separated from the castle and everything that reminded him of his fate. He would like to smile without a hint of dread for once this year. So, he said just that. "I'm not just trying to make you come along 'cause I'm stuck with you. That's not it." He swallowed. "You're--....you're cool. You're fun. I wanna have you around. You know, when you're not so worked up and you're just being yourself, I like hanging out with you." He tugged Ty's hand a little. Further from his sword and closer to Louie. "I want you to come with me. And I want you to try having fun too." He may as well just tell the idiot he thought about him every time he saw a sunset. The hand he was grasping flexed its fingers. Ty abruptly broke eye contact and glanced to the side, his tongue poking out to pierce the tip of his jagged tooth. His indecisive face. "I just--.....I dunno...." He muttered. "If something happened to you--" "Nothing's gonna happen to me." Said Louie immediately. "I've got a good feeling about this. And c'mon Ty, that coming from a coward?" "You're not a coward." He said, barely a whisper. He was now staring at the ground. "I promise." "Huh?" Louie smiled tightly as Ty looked to him questionably. "I promise nothing is gonna happen. I'm gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. Now, can you do me this favor and maybe, I dunno, trust me?" The look Ty gave him was a little sad, but it was soft. And then with only a tiny twitch, it shifted into something else entirely. It was trust. Blind trust. Maybe stupid trust. A minuscule pang of guilt jabbed at Louie. Of course he wanted Ty to trust him. He needed him to if there was any hope of achieving his goal here. But objectively, he really shouldn't. Louie was hiding way too much from him. It wasn't fair. Then Ty broke the world, shattered orbit and played around with reality itself by cracking a smile and Louie forgot every coherent thought he ever possessed. He would never put on record just how long he spent pre-preparing jokes, gunning to get the corner of Ty's lips to flick upwards. Made him seem kinda desperate. Which he was not. Ty had that oh, so stereotypical "cute boy" smile. It was crooked, cocky, it was utterly obnoxious. Louie hated it. And worst of all, it was like a little spell to kick Louie's heart into high speed. Sometimes it dazed and confused him like a blinding light flash. But other times, it was warm and if he stared long enough, he'd fall asleep. Louie loved Ty's smile. Every time he tried to convince himself he didn't, he ended up dwelling on it too much and the way his mouth would quirk up would play in his mind on a maddening loop and then it would be too much to handle and the truth that he loved it would always overpower him. So, whenever that happened (like right this second.) he gave up and admitted it. To himself, anyway. He loved Ty's smile. He loved Ty. ......Wait. That last part was new, hold up. Rewind. But he didn't get the chance because Ty was talking now. Still a little dazzled, Louie didn't catch what he said but he figured it was good since he was still smiling. And then that smile broke into a huge grin, his eyes flashed with trouble and his hands were on Louie's shoulders and-- "Race ya!" Ty cried. With a light push, Louie was stumbling backwards and Ty kicked off into a sprint. For a brief moment, Louie could only gaze after him, stupefied. Love, huh? Like the real deal? That was crazy. But then he snapped out of as he recalled the audacity of this bastard. "You just pushed your liege!" He shrieked, receiving a loud "WOO!" from Ty as a response. And then Louie was grinning. He was giddy. He didn't quite know if he forgot about love in that instance or if it was the force powering him but he was tearing off after Ty, yelling about the latter's totally unfair head start. In hindsight, he should've figured it was love a long time ago. Who else would get him to run for no reason?

[cross-d-a]

Pass the happy!💖 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!

(I have decided that Discord notifs count because I love you dearly and wanna hear what makes you happy)

HELLO!!!! I love you and I kinda really needed this and I think you know that so thank you!!!!! I love and appreciate you SO MUCH!!

Also I've literally been thinking about this post for two hours and so I'm not gonna stick to just five- I'm gonna list MORE than that because I wanna remind myself that there are many wonderful things in the world to be happy about and also PICS!! I'm adding PICS bc I CAN!!!!!!!!!

under the cut bc it gets LONG! :)

1) YOU make me happy, Sierra!!!!!!! Also @s1utspeare and @vishcount and of course my bff @haru-tl !!! You guys are so fucking incredible and talented and AMAZING!!!! I love you all SO MUCH!!! You always make my day!!! And all the dmbj peeps!!! I am so lucky to know so many wonderful people!!!!

2) as long as we're on the subject of people- I absolutely can't leave out my coworkers!!! Literally some of the best people I've ever met in my life. I have so much fun with them. I can always count on them making me laugh.

Like today, we were talking about this reptile house a few towns away and my manager was telling us about their cool anaconda exhibit where you can crawl under the glass tank and watch them eat and she mentioned their teeth being scary. So I googled Anaconda Teeth and went WOAH THEY'RE COOL and our Resident Snake Expert came over and went actually that pic is from the movie Anaconda. And then he helped me find Real Pics and the teeth were even COOLER. I left the Google search up on the work computer and a couple hours when I was on lunch I heard Mike exclaim: "I had NO idea that ANACONDAS had TEETH!!!!!!" Which?? MIKE?? WHAT??? Hahaha everyone burst into laughter :)

3) my cat BOOTS makes me happy!! He's always asking for belly scritches and he drools when he's happy. Here's a pic bc I adore him:

4) my new baby boy So Mun from The Uncanny Counter makes me VERY happy!!!!! He's just- the Sweetest Boy to have ever Baby'd!!! I adore his little crinkly-eyed smile and curly hair!!! He's just so GOOD it makes me cry!! Also!! Disabled rep!!!!! LOVE HIM!!!!! Look at his lil' FACE:

and bc he is Unfortunately Very Hot in his mourning outfit:

adding this too bc LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE SMILE I wanna SCREAM

5) my Pangzi necklace makes me happy!!! I have an Iron Triangle matching set, but the Pangzi one I first put on bc of Brigid's Pangzi chapter for Swiftly Tilting and then I kinda just- never took it off haha. It's just so pretty and makes me feel like I've got a bit of Pangzi with me at all times. I love that man SO much and if I can be even a fraction of how wonderful he is, then I can die happy

6) the smell of the sea makes me happy!!! It makes me feel refreshed and relaxed! I live by Puget Sound and on very lucky days I can smell it at my house! Tonight was a lucky night! I came home and it smelled like the seashore, so I kept my window open as I folded laundry :)

7) my new collection of Kpop CDs makes me happy!! It's entirely bc of Vish's influence and I LOVE her for it!!! The packaging is just so pretty and I always love being able to hold things that give me Good Feelings in my hands :)

8) since we're on the subject of COLLECTIONS, I love to collect things!! And one collection of things that makes me happy are my books!! I have- too many. Working in a bookstore makes it too easy to buy them! But seeing the bright spines on my shelves gives me delight. I particularly really like my queer manga collection!! I've got four whole shelves of it! :) I'd offer a pic but I'm too tired to go upstairs, haha but I love the art and the representation 🌈

9) I ALSO really love all the figures I collect! Seeing characters that I love on a daily basis makes me happy. I usually decorate my bookshelves with them. One set that makes me particularly happy are my Pingxie ones. They look like they're getting married and it delights me:

10) another purchase that is entirely bc of Vish (I ADORE you!!) is my Chimmy blanket!! He's just so adorable and bright and coming home every day to see him waiting on my bed makes me very happy

11) yet another bright yellow thing that makes me happy is my dmbj Xiao Ge coaster!! It's so sparkly and fun AND it's a friendship coaster I share with Sierra!! We've got a matching set, babe!! I love you!! Let's just shake them around and be distracted by the sparkles forever!!

12) coming back to work from my weekend to find a bunch of manga to shelve always makes me very happy!!! Buying/pricing/shelving manga is my favourite thing to do at work! I love seeing familiar and new titles!

And it's interesting to see how prices can change if it goes out of print! Sometimes every single book in a series but ONE is the same price. Like last month we had a series where like/ volume 8 was worth $250 vs the regular $7.99 for the rest of them. And someone BOUGHT IT!! Things like that can happen randomly. It can be bc it was a smaller printing for that particular volume. OR something special happens in it (new character appearance/fan favourite story arc/BOOBS), so more ppl want to keep it which means it's harder to come by (and then sellers raise their prices BC it's difficult to come by). You usually see the collectible value go up for out of print BL or older series like Aria or Lupin III. Not everything that's out of print is collectible, but it's always interesting when it is :)

13) DAY6's The Book of Us: Gravity has graciously given me a big serotonin boost the last couple days!! It's just- I dunno! Uplifting! Catchy! Full of energy! :)

14) similarly, I've been listening to Close Your Eyes by Isaac Hong almost exclusively for like- five days now! It's from The Uncanny Counter and it makes me very happy! It's very emotional and just reminds me of my baby boy So Mun :)

15) sunshine makes me happy!! I'm at that point in the year where I don't want rain anymore, just sun! So it's always nice having my windows open at home with the sun shining through. Or the back doors at work propped open while we go about our day. It's almost impossible to feel sad when you get to bask in the warmth of the sun and smell the nice fresh air

16) finding weird random books at work makes me happy! It's so fun seeing the kinds of things people read! And sometimes you find cool ephemera in the things people sell to us that they don't want back. Like- look at this pic from an older fortune-telling birthday book I found. She is 1000% Drowning Him and I love that for her :)

17) reading manga makes me happy. There are just so many wonderful and ridiculous series out there. There really is nothing "too weird to publish" in the manga world. I was reminded of this the other day when I discovered a series about a girl who timetravels and finds out that her soulmate is a Neanderthal. You can literally find a series about ANYTHING in the manga world and I love that about it. There's no limit to the imagination and there's something for everyone :)

18) when I'm in the mood, writing and drawing make me happy. There's just something about creating that really just- fills the soul :)

19) making playlists makes me happy!! I love having playlists for characters and relationships and fics and even specific fic chapters or moods or going to sleep! (And rec playlists! Like Vish's :) ) It's just- so satisfying having the Perfect Playlist on hand! Plus it's fun actually making them- like figuring out the mood/lyrics and what they fit into :) I listen to music almost constantly, so this is essential! :)

So thank you Sierra!! It was nice to remind myself about a lot of different things that bring joy to my life!! I love and adore you SO MUCH 💖💖💖

[tartagliaxx]

first off, hello 🤷‍♀️ anon! sorry i missed you out

and secondly, dw, marius is my favourite too lol, he reminds me a lot of my younger cousin who i lived with when i was younger. i was always the one who took care of him and marius calling me older sister just set off so much memories of my childhood. the both of them are also vv similar in personality, attention seeking, playful and artistic so i always see him whenever i look at marius.

artem is probably my second favourite ngl, ever since i read his ssr where he was jealous and got drunk (what a good combination lmao) i just grew so soft for him. at the end of the day, he's just a vv soft sweetheart who's insecure that we'll leave him :(( i have like 3 ssrs at lvl36, two of them are artem cards and the other is luke. i vibe with luke too bc i love the childhood friends trope, it's top tier. and as for vyn... i have vv mixed feelings abt him. i feel like he could so easily see through me if he was real and i'm just like, how about no. he's rlly pretty though, like rlly pretty.

*major spoilers*

and you've finished the archon quests!!! personally, i feel like the ending felt a bit rushed(?). it's weird bc i thought the resistance war against the raiden shogun was supposed to be the center of the story, but it just devolved to us helping yae with the entire war being swept to the side. and i already knew somebody was gonna die, and as soon as i saw that teppei had become the captain, i just knew.

it's interesting bc i would love to explore what happened to la signora and scaramouche to make them so disregarding of human life. like, i don't like them, but i want to understand their minds. it's sad to read signora's artifact's background honestly. and the fact that her crown said she used to be called rosalyne, that she had perhaps once led a more innocent and naive existence. i dunno, to me it seems like a good ending for her honestly, she had already lost herself after her lover's death and brings pain to many others, i don't think she can rlly return to being her again.

and honestly, a lot of people are talking abt scaramouche not telling signora he already had the gnosis and saying that he orchestrated her death, i don't rlly think so. i feel like he's just that apathetic to human life, even if it's someone that stands on his side, he just doesn't care enough. it also says how he never got along with anyone, not even his fellow harbingers, so i don't know why ppl expect him to seek out someone he doesn't like just to warn her of danger.

i vibe with scaramouche and la signora as the antagonists bc they're good antagonists, but as characters, well. other than the fact that they're pretty, they have like one likeable trait and that is their loyalty. they would do anything for the tsaritsa even if it cost them their life. i'm rlly excited to see what the tsaritsa has in store for us in the future.

considering our sibling is nicknamed 'the prince/princess', i wonder if there's gonna be a day where we're gonna have to go toe to toe with them. if we had them backed them into a corner with no way out, i wonder if they would kill us. it would be an interesting twist if we could actually die, but i feel like the protagonist halo will prevent it lol and i'm sorry bc god, this is so long.

— r. anon

marius. that’s the tweet. man,, you dont realize how in love i am w him?? like,, this man was literally my only hope when i fell horribly sick. i cant w myself now that i’m hearing it w my own voice. it must be nice to remember the good ol’ days… i despise my cousins and i dont have siblings so i dont really have that sort of connection w him. to me, his onee-san is just a joke? a petname? idk but it simultaneously makes me so mad and giddy just like childe’s existence does

i like vyn bc his vibes are sus but at the same time, he’s cares abt our mental health 🥺👉👈 no one’s ever said shit like that to me… jokes aside, luke is seriously threatening his spot bc of his blushing bs like pls 🤲 i’m so weak for that shit give me more. artem makes me soft too like,, he keeps mentioning that he trusts us and he’s just…. HE’S A BIG TEDDY BEAR THAT BLUSHES AT LIKE ACCIDENTAL HAND BRUSHES GRRRR. in conclusion, i love them all.

but man,, give me ssr luck… literally, im in pain…

now that the excitement’s worn off, i can now judge things properly. i think that… the pacing is horrible. like the plot is good, genuinely, but there’s just,, so much to explore abt this. if you think abt it, this is the climax and yet we didnt get much. scratch that. we got a lot but it’s all underdeveloped that it felt like nothing. we go to sangonimiya, got promoted, became captain for like, one sec before we are sent onto an investigation that didnt really produce any results bc app teppei alr knows everything? and then the delusion thing is a good plot point but it’s not really explored? just… a lot of things are left unexplored and i think that story wise, a lot of the possible lore explanations went down the drain. it would’ve been nice if we saw more abt the rebellion and if we had gotten to know whats the real deal w the commissions but eh… idk… i would’ve rather done more quests abt this whole storyline than like… do that whole dance w the three people who lost their vision in 2.0.

if im going to be honest, la signora is such a wasted character. like maybe her death was just for the shock factor or maybe it’s to prepare us for more harbinger encounters in the future.. idk but she’s such a good character from what we’ve seen but we know jack shit abt her and her motives. we know a little from the artifact set but beyond that, what do we have?

precisely! that’s how i feel abt this whole thing when we’re talking seriously. like w ei, i dont really agree w whatever they’re doing but i want to understand why they do the things that they do. everything has a reason and their psychology is just interesting to me.

i think scaramouche’s nature makes it easy for him to disregard human life. call it arrogance or whatever but ultimately, he’s seeing himself as smth above all these people bc he’s more or less capable of standing toe to toe w a god. why should he bother telling signora? it’s not like he gains anything if he does. i think that when he got the gnosis, he’s just ‘well she dies if she dies. who cares abt that? i dont have any need for incompetent colleagues anw’ i agree and i dont think he orchestrated her death but at the same time, he just allowed it to happen too.

as for signora, i’m actually surprised? for the most part, i think that the harbingers took their posts for selfish reasons. for scara, it’s to entertain himself and pass time. for childe, it’s to fight and grow stronger. for dottore, it’s to conduct dubious research w/o anyone stopping him. i expected signora to have some similar motive like power or money but it seems like she does actually believe in the tsaritsa? it would be very intriguing if signora’s main motive in becoming a harbinger is simply bc she is loyal to the tsaritsa and her will. bc in contrast, i think scara and dottore are more loyal to the fact that the tsaritsa can give them what they want, not bc they actually like her. actually, idek if they’re willing to die for her lol. like i wouldnt be surprised if they suddenly abandon post in a life or death situation but who knows…

in any case, they are very good antagonists. i like yo think that the tsaritsa isnt as bad as the game portrays her to be… of all the gods, she’s the one im looking forward to the most but… haha… what version would that be….

i’m almost certain that they’ll make us fight our twin maybe before we face the unknown god? if one of them dies, i would be very sad. like legit. but knowing mhy, well, our twin is almost 100% a walking death flag.

anw i’m shutting up rn— i also spoke too much kahdjabdhakbsjansb—

[hotchley]

🦄 i know there are fics with hotch and food and how he eats bland food but also the guy puts jalapeños in his omelettes. do u think likes flavorful cuisines? he also does seem to only make bland foods for jack (mac n cheese, pancakes). which could be a kid's thing but could be a white thing like i wouldn't know lmaoo (come on, asian to asian, tell me to my face you weren't eating flavorful foods at a young age). like i dunno, hotch is such an inconsistent character. at one point im p sure he stopped eating bc he literally looked so gaunt on screen. but in the same ep he shows that he knows how to cook (or at least sautee onions lmaoo) AND organized a team cooking lesson. or maybe this is just me obsessing over all the hotch/garcia scenes bc they're one of my fave pairs and she always brings out the colorful sides of him.

this is also just me being annoyed at reid's character bc one of the trope i hate most is white guy knows more about minority things than the actual minorites. like somehow the guy knows korean but can't use chopsticks? also his pronunciation of korean phrases is horrid and i just hate the trope so much bc white ppl always butcher asian things and they always use asian cultures/aesthetics as props. like haha look at how smart i am, i can translate this korean movie for u in realtime. and him speaking over the kid at the reservation rubbed me in the wrong way like stay in your fucken lane, whiteboy. just bc u read books doesn't mean you understand anything at all and im really glad hotch called him out on that. i mean the same thing happened with the ep on african religions (which was not sensitively done might i just say). like i get he's a genius and he likes to read but what good is that booksmart if he just ends up being an asshole irl. so many of his "look im a genius and im cultured" end up being throw away lines and this show is already super white which makes the treatment of those lines seem even more insensitive. like does he know most of his genius comes a lot from his privilege of being a white male. i dunno, his character is just so annoying to me and ive said it before: garcia does the whole genius thing better and she isn't even half as annoying about it (even if she's white lmaoo).

Okay, so Hotch probably does enjoy trying new foods and different things but he’ll just give Jack bland things because he’s white and doesn’t want to destroy Jack’s taste buds, even though he would be fine. (Yep, I was definitely eating things I probably wasn’t old enough too as a younger child)

I reckon after Foyet there was only so much he could stomach which is why his choices went bland and after Pakistan he was probably so anxious, stressed and sad that he just couldn’t stomach anything without feeling nauesous.

I LOVE HOTCH AND GARCIA SO MUCH!!!! “Don’t call me honey.” is one of my favourite scenes with the two of them.

OH I KNOW! I get that the show came out in the early 2000s and all that, but if they really cared, they could have had an Asian character. Okay he can’t use chopsticks, but they should have just either a) left other peoples cultures alone or b) done it properly by actually doing research and having the team be like: Oh so I learnt this but obviously, I am white.

I’m gonna be honest, I do not remember the episode with African religions and I’m not sure I want to remember. I just feel like the writers should have made it that Reid has knowledge on other cultures but lets the people who are actually part of them speak and listens instead of having him every two minutes flaunt the fact that he’s a genius.

Because what I want to know is, if Reid had been an ethnic man, a white woman, or an ethnic woman, would the intelligence have been praised the way it was or would it have just been an expectation?

I’m fairly neutral towards canon-Reid I’m like: Yeah okay, cool. There’s a particular subsection of the fandom where I’m like: GUYS! REID IS A GROWN ASS MAN YOU CAN’T BLAME EVERYTHING ON OTHER PEOPLE!! And I also think basing your like of a character off what they say to Reid is kinda unfair because I will put my hands up and say I probably would ask how he happens to know stuff and not always be able to keep up with what he’s saying because I just couldn’t.

Garcia is the best. Absolutely love her!

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hi, it' me again (coming back and forth just to talk about AkaKuro lol). Tumblr hides your response again, and I dunno what to say at this point X.X Anyway, I dunno what it is like in Russia, but in my country, the AkaKuro fandom is still alive. People still write fanfic and translate stories and doujinshi so it is quite nice XD Your AkaKuro video is very popular among us btw. Thank you for making such wonderful edit XD

Hey, my sweet akakuro anon;) hehe I’m gonna answer in parts:) in Russia I know couple of Akakuro people who are still alive haha but mostly it’s just me haha I’m so happy you liked the video and OMFG I still can’t believe it hot over 600K FUCKING VIEWS and 34K likes! asdfhgfdsasdnfd I haven’t gotten such amazing feddback in a while. I’m also really happy that bc of the vid I’ve hooked up many new people on them hehe yes

Someone thinks that Kuroko doesn’t notice Momoi’s crush????!!!! LMAO you kidding me! Of course he knows, that’s just what you do, when you don’t want to encourage this, plus they showed his real feelings through the Nigou lmao More than that, he definitely knows about the fact that Momoi is oblivious to her real feelings for Aomine and vice versa.

Haha Kuroko and Kise are so much alike tbh, they’re both sneaky AF, but the difference is that one pretends to be stupid/easy going and another one pretends to be innocent. Both hiding behind the masks, but both know that the other one is dangerous haha they’re probably my 2nd fav dynamic in KNB, it’s just hilarious to watch them pretending to be clueless lmao

I’m 100% sure that Akashi is well aware of all Kuroko’s manipulations, he just likes to watch him play. I mean, I think that’s exactly the reason why he’s so infatuated with his since the beginning. Bc he’s basically the only one, who can “mess up his shogi board” haha *wink wink*

To me Bokushi is actually the least scary part of Akashi, since he’s the most vulnerable one. And he’s like always offended lmao He’s basically just a book with a super scary cover, but inside there’s a romance novel xD I mean, in all seriousness, as soon as they switched and Oreshi came in play, have you seen what he did??! 

Kuroko is also scarier, because Akashi’s “manipulations” are coming from his super intellect as he searches for the right tactics to win, cause you can’t do it without outsmarting your opponent, Kuroko on the other hand reminds me of a kitsune, bc he likes to trick people into doing what he needs, but he’s also making them think that it’s what they want. And he takes different forms for each one of them. I mean, depending on his needs, he can act like a complete gentleman or be a complete asshole or pretend to be sorry and make puppy eyes, and hell, and I’m pretty sure he pretends being physically weak at times too.

But I find all of this hilarious, too, especially when he loves to see ppl suffer cause it’s funny lol Like do you think that was an accident when he put himself his own curry, while everyone else were eating the ones that Riko served them? HA HA NO

And the one who can fully read him is the mister emperor and the funniest of all this is that he actually encourages such behavior lmao he’s always like “yes, kuroko is allowed to do anything he wants”, “kuroko? Idk what you’re talking about, he’s an angel!” lol

Like remember when they were “looking at pictures” and said that they can’t wait to play with each other again and Kuroko smiles and squints at Akashi. It’s like he knows, that he knows what he knows xD And they do it all the time. About Akashi’s personalities,considering the fact that Kuroko immediately noticed “whole” Akashi during the fucking game, I’m honestly scared lol 

Yeah, also GOM listens to Akashi bc they respect him and intimidated by him. But Kuroko has the whole GOM o the palm of his hand for a entirely different reason.

Yup, same, I dont think anyone else could’ve handled them honestly, that’s why I think they’re so perfect for one another, besides the fact that they’re both each other’s weaknesses and strengths. I mean not only they see each other for who they are, they openly admitted that they like each other the way they are. So I hope, they keep doing what they’re doing and be happy, since they make each other so happy haha 

And I still think it’s the sweetest how Akashi can make Kuroko so jealous, because it’s so unlike Tetsuya to lose his face like that. Not to mention Kuroko’s speech. Like FUCK “I've wanted to say this to you for a while now, but I never had a chance. This goes beyond happiness and the person who’s the cause of all this is before me, it’s all thanks to you, Akashi-kun.” Not only this sounds like a wedding vow (lmao), but just in all seriousness coming from a person like Kuroko it’s worth a lot. He’s so prideful. 

Akashi santa? It was a comic in a Jump! magazine:)

P.S. that’s so nice to talk to someone, who sees characters for who they are, not like “kuroko is so cute and seirin is the most imporant to him and just friendship and unicorns” lmao 

[crzytwn]

Becleo

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Leo, he’s a loud boy

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

UHh I feel like Becca but not in like  “fuck you, I’m leaving” way? More like “fuck me i should remove myself!”??

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Neither of them. V v attached at the asshole.

Who trashes the house?

Neither.

Do either of them get physical?

god no.

How often do they argue/disagree?

All the time but like RARELY for real.

Who is the first to apologise?

Depends on the argument really but neither of them are like stingy with the sorries.

Sex:

Who is on top?

They both have off and on bottom energy so I’m gonna say switchies.

Who is on the bottom?

See above

Who has the strangest desires?

Becca, she reads more and she’s a lil freak

Any kinks?

I’m almost certain but I’m not gonna think about it.

Who’s dominant in bed?

Becca’s p bossy so

Is head ever in the equation?

Head is ALWAYS in the equation. 

If so, who is better at performing it?

Leo is nothing if not a feminist, also I just feel like he would not be that great with his stroke game in the beginning and like would end up with more practice.

Ever had sex in public?

For sure

Who moans the most?

Uhhh Becca???

Who leaves the most marks?

???

Who screams the loudest?

Fuck if I know

Who is the more experienced of the two?

Unless it’s the “Becca Fucks Zac” au of our Becleo au, then idk I’m assuming they’d only bone each other?

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

Both!

Rough or soft?

Both but I feel like Leo stans soft

How long do they usually last?

Awhile!

Is protection used?

Idk how magic sex ed works and I do not intend to think on it!

Does it ever get boring?

No 😌

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

I feel like I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Leo REALLY wants to fuck on a quidditch pitch or at least under the bleachers.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

ya 

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

One or two??

Who is the favorite parent?

Becca, Leo’s cool but unless the band blows up he’s probably away a lot with Quidditch

Who is the authoritative parent?

Becca, I feel like with Alicia Leo never learned how to be one nor does he like want to be nor CAN he be, he always wants to be everyone’s friend first.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

LEO

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

I feel like there’s no need for like “when the other isn’t around”

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

Both but Becca is the best about it

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

Becca, Leo is the type to not be allowed back

Who changes the diapers?

Magic

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?

Magic or Becca

Who spends the most time with the children?

Becca

Who packs their lunch boxes?

Leo, can Becca even cook??

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?

Leo’s idea for doing it is somehow too blunt and too vague and Becca’s is so technical and weird, so they end up doing it together and everyone is EMBARASSED.

Who cleans up after the kids?

Magic or Becca, Leo’s lazy

Who worries the most?

BECCA

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Aunt Kelsey

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? 

Both!

Who is the little spoon?

Becca!

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Leo? Maybe?

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  

???????????????????

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Forever and ever and ever

Who gives the most kisses?

As if they could keep track. I’m sure it’s an argument.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

The OG hang out activity, cuddling and book chatting and occasionally Leo being drooled on

Where is their favourite place to cuddle? 

?? idk man literally I have no idea where the cuddling goes on nor have I EVER

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?

Becca, feels on brand.

How often do they get time to themselves?

For the amount of friends they’re attached at the hip to, finding sizable alone time for the book chats has never been a problem for them 

Sleeping:

Who snores? If both do, who snores the loudest?

I just feel like Becca does.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Seperately at first ofc, but even in school I feel like they would’ve managed to find a lot of excuses to share.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

COZY AS TIGHT AS POSSIBLE.

Who talks in their sleep?

Uh Leo, he’s more anxious than he lets on so it probably gets pushed out somewhere

What do they wear to bed?

🤐

Are either of your muses insomniacs?

No?

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

I dunno, they magic

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

COBRA 

Who wakes up with bed hair?

They both do but Leo refuses to be seen with his

Who wakes up first?

Leo, so Becca won’t see the bed head.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Leo, I sure do not remember Becca being able to cook

What is their favourite sleeping position?

Idk in theory it’s probably being all wrapped up but I’m sure Leo likes blood flow to his arms

Who hogs the sheets?

Idk

Do they set an alarm each night?

Leo probably does for his narcissistic purposes, also sports ppl probably have to wake up early

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

ya, movie nights

Who has nightmares?

Becca???

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Leo, he IS ridiculous

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Becca?

Who makes the bed?

Becca but also idk magic

What time is bed time?

When they go to bed idfk

Any routines/rituals before bed?

Probably, they do so much together nighttime is probably a well oiled machine.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Becca probably because she stayed up most of the night reading

Home:

Who does the washing?

Magic

Who takes out the trash?

Magic

Who does the ironing?

Magic

Who does the cooking?

Leo

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

?? Becca? Because books?

Who is messier?

Leo because he’s lazy but he’s not even that messy because he thinks it makes him look bad.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

Leo

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Neither of them

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

NEITHER OF THEM! 

Who is the prankster around the house?

Leo, but Becca gets in her little moods.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Neither they have magic.

Who mows the lawn?

Magic

Who answers the telephone?

Becca but only because Leo would be too busy standing there going “WHO CALLS PEOPLE?”

Who does the vacuuming?

Magic

Who does the groceries?

Whoever can

Who takes the longest to shower?

Leo

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Leo. He’s manages to cut down his primping time in the bathroom by micro primping whenever he’s near a reflective surface. besides 

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

No, they both seemed fairly well off and probably got really good jobs so def not.

How many cars do they own?

None

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Own

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

Are they city people? I think they’re city people but if Becca wanted to live out her Pemberley fantasies in the countryside, Leo would be more than willing to go.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

For sure

What’s their song?

I don’t know! I’m sure we’ve given them many but today it is I hear a symphony by Cody Fry

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Text or owl each other

Where did they first meet?

The halls of Hogwarts

How did they first meet?

u already know, u wrote it

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Leo, he has a problem because MOST of it will be for Lit

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Neither, that’s not really who either of them are? They both HAVE a lot and it’s like probably obvious but they’re not the FLASHING type

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Leo, but it’s like so endearing when Becca falls

Any mental issues?

Probably, but I’m not diagnosing today

Who’s terrified of bugs? Who kills the spiders around the house?

Becca is scared, Idk how Leo deals with bugs tho, bug guts are def too much for him to handle.

Their favourite place?

Who KNOWS

Who pays the bills? 

Autopay or magic

Do they have any fears for their future?

Becca is BIG afraid of divorce

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Both, they really are Grand Gestures: The 

Relationship

Who uses up all of the hot water?  

Leo but they have magic so it’s fine. Plus they’d share a lot anyway

Who’s the tallest?

Leo

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Becca because Leo just takes so damn long but also Leo because horny

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Feels on brand for both idk

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

It’s a duet!

What do they tease each other about?

Any and everything!

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Neither, they’re both so goddamn preppy. I think Leo would cringe if Becca wore any Darcy merch in his presence but dassit.

Do they have mutual friends? Who crushed first? Any alcohol or substance related problems?  

The friend group is really the Becleo mutual friends circle when you think about it.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

Leo because I assume people are like that.

Who swears the most?

Uhhh Leo? But not that much because he doesn’t strike me as the type to swear around ladies if he can avoid it, he really loves old school chivalry 

[crowned-ladybug]

(Same anon here) I'm really happy u liked my idea :D I love finding people with the same/similar ideas I have :> also I love your writing and I like the scenario you mentioned about Joseph and Caesar, that could lead to some angst and fluff :0

Hi I am So Sorry that this is so late, I’m not even gonna list the reasons why, I’m just. so sorry.

It’s so nice finding other ppl who enjoy the same hcs I do and getting to Talk About Them!!!

As for the plot idea - part of me wishes I could make this a proper fic but alas, I already have too much on my plate and no time/energy to write most days. It still ran away with me a bit tho so under the read more it goes!

So this is still back on Air Supplena and Caesar and Joseph are just. hanging out. Caesar is trying to Read but emphasis on Trying actually bc he’s been rereading the same damn line for the past two minutes just not comprehending any of it bc Joseph won’t stop messing with his goddamn clackers and Making Noise and it’s Distracting and Annoying and Caesar is getting real fed up with it

(Maybe if he actually Said something in a civil manner then Joseph would’ve stopped doing that and let him read instead of leaving Caesar to fume without saying Anything just expecting things to change on their own but I digress)

So eventually Caesar groans: “Jesus Christ, why do you have to be so Annoying, just Stay Quiet Already,” and he reaches over and yanks the clackers out of Joseph’s hand. “I’m taking these. There.”

And he’d be ready to just go back to reading with the clackers dropped on his lap and Joseph finally Quiet bc for all Caesar cares he can stalk off to sulk elsewhere as long as he’s Quiet about it

Joseph is not quiet about anything

The clackers, as already established, are his stim toy. His favourite at that. He’s had the dang things for a while now and they’re Perfect and he uses them so often that they’ve become His Thing and since he can use them for fighting also he doesn’t have to feel weird about having them on hand all the time

And he’s grown up with almost every adult besides Erina and Speedwagon, as well as a lot of not-adults, telling him that everything he does bc of his ADHD is weird or wrong or stupid. He’s been yelled at to stay still in school so many times and had his stim/fidget toys taken and told off for stimming (and poor volume control, and memory issues, and infodumping, and so many other things that are just Natural to him) and told to just grow up and stop acting so childish and embarrassing and annoying, that everything he ever does to make himself comfortable and happy is actually gross and immature and should be stopped-

And now Caesar just told him the same thing and it hits differently from all the other times he’s called him annoying, and he took his fuckin clackers too and he’s acting like it’s just Okay to Do and-

Joseph sees red.

Caesar has no time to react before they’re both on the floor and all he can do is try to dodge and block Joseph’s fists as he yells at him to give him his fuckin clackers back. And it’s scary beyond just. fighting someone who’s v strong and knows how to punch (bc ofc so does Caesar), it’s scary bc Joseph is v obviously Genuinely Upset?? This isn’t an impromptu wrestling match on the floor over something dumb and petty that they’ll call truce over in just a bit and go back to teasing each other. No, Caesar has somehow Fucked Up even if he doesn’t realise How nor how to Fix It

This all goes down in the span of seconds btw before Joseph like. catches himself and realises what he’s doing, which is. trying to beat his best friend into the carpet for taking his Stupid Childish Toy that he shouldn’t even Have bc what kind of Idiot gets so attached to some dumb Toy and makes Constant Annoying Noises with it. And Caesar is reaching up tentatively to put a hand on his arm to try to placate him or snap him out of it or Something and that’s when Joseph just Bolts

Like. clackers forgotten and everything, he just. utilises his favourite secret technique and runs for it

“It” being his room. He locks the door and sits on the floor next to it for a while trying to catch his breath and collect himself. Eventually he manages to get up and get his scarf to fumble with it to calm himself better bc the scarf is also Important like the clackers are

He’s fucked up Big Time. Now Caesar knows he’s weird no matter how hard he tries to save face, bc even if he doesn’t Say anything, even if he never gets his clackers back (oh god, where are they, did he leave them with Caesar, oh fuck-) his strong reaction to Caesar taking them will Definitely betray to him that Something Is Up. Caesar is a smart guy, Joseph can’t expect him not to catch on to Something being off anyway even if he doesn’t exactly know What bc it’s already enough evidence that Joseph is Weird and Childish in all the ways that are Undesirable

Caesar goes after him bc ofc he does. He wants to figure out how he fucked up and Fix It and also lbr. if this Was something Joseph would want to just be left alone with, Caesar wouldn’t really realise that until he got punched again. So he takes the clackers and goes looking for Joseph (which takes him some time bc he doesn’t Know what’s going on and thus that Joseph would be in his room where he can dig out his favourite scarf or bury himself under a pile of blankets bc that’s Comforting, and as small as the island is, it’s Full of good hiding places)

But he eventually comes up to Joseph’s room and knocks. “Jojo, you in there?”

“Go away.”

“…do you actually mean that?”

And okay that’s unfair bc even buried under three blankets (pressure is Good but his weighted blanket is at home in New York and he is here in positively Not New York) and feeling like the world is overall a v shitty place, he still likes Caesar. Even if he knows that it’s dumb to want comfort from the same person that hurt him in the first place.

And then Caesar adds: “I still have your clackers.”

And it’s not like. blackmail or anything, more like “hey I wanna give these back tho” and that’s what does it bc Joseph wants his clackers back and so he v bitterly decides that if Caesar thinks he’s gross and weird now then Joseph can just punch him and they can go back to hating each other like they had back in Rome

He hates that possibility tho

He allows Caesar in and sits up in his bed while he’s at it so that he can have at least Some dignity left. Caesar sits on the bed with him tho he does keep a larger distance than he usually does and Joseph Really hopes that’s “I don’t wanna freak you out again” kinda distance and not “you’re just gonna punch me for no reason again aren’t you” kinda distance

Before he does anything else, Caesar gives the clackers back and Joseph just. puts them down on the bed on the Caesar-free side of himself bc he’s Very Consciously trying Not to Act Weird

He doesn’t look at Caesar’s face tho bc that’s a lil too much for him rn

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Joseph just shrugs. “It’s fine, it’s…dumb.”

“It’s not dumb if it made you upset.”

And that’s so fuckin sweet and Honest and Caesar sounds like he genuinely feels bad for messing Joseph up so much but also Joseph doesn’t know what to Do with that when Caesar doesn’t even Know what he’s talking about, bc ofc it’s Dumb.

“No, it…it is dumb. Don’t worry about it.”

I’d say Caesar operates like 80% on Pure Spite so if you tell him not to worry about something he Will worry about it just to be an asshole but tbh it’s mostly just bc he loves Joseph in this case

“Can I ask why though?”

Joseph doesn’t expect whatever that is so much that he actually looks at Caesar for a moment. “Why what?”

“Why you got so upset. Or why you think it’s dumb,” and when Joseph doesn’t look convinced he continues. “I mean, we fight all the time, sure, but it’s never Serious…right?”

He genuinely looks Uncertain there for a moment and that’s a Big Fuckin Ouch bc of Course it’s never serious, ever since they took turns punting each other into that fountain in Rome none of their fights have been actually serious. They spar for training and they have joke-fights bc it’s fun to rile each other up and gain bragging rights but it’s never about Hurting and in face of real danger they’d protect each other over themselves in a heartbeat

So Joseph just nods, and Caesar carries on.

“But back there you got. really fucked up over what I did and. I guess I just wanna know Why so I know not to do that again?” and with that even He thinks he’s done but then he adds: “You’re my friend.”

And that’s such a fuckin clumsy way to end it bc he can’t say the rest of it, the “I know this here isn’t about comfort but I want you to be comfortable anyway” and “the world is shit and I don’t wanna be another person who hurt you” and “I love you.” So he just leaves it at that.

Joseph automatically wants to go “that’s easy, don’t take my clackers then, dipshit” but like. 1, Caesar is being v v nice so he Won’t be mean in return and 2, there’s so much more connected to his Weirdness that could set him off the same way besides his clackers being taken. So instead he just really appreciates the sentiment and Caesar in general and decides that it’s all a too big a can of worms for him to wrangle and he’d rather just weather the painful parts as they come

“It’s fine, you wouldn’t get it anyway, it’s fine.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, just no one gets it! Whatever, it’s weird shit.”

“If you think I don’t get it, fine, then explain it to me!”

And Joseph doesn’t know what to fuckin Say to that bc no one besides his family has ever asked him to do that. It was always just being told to put his stim toys away and stop moving too much and oh fuck just shut up already, never Why.

He makes a vague noise bc he forgets how to Words for a moment bc of that, and Caesar takes it as a question.

“Jojo, we’re gearing up to fight a bunch of gods with ancient magic so that we can get two rings of poison out of your body, and you really think I can’t handle ‘weird’? Because I can, thank you very much, and it’s You, so I don’t Care if it’s weird anyway.

(He ignores the huge fuckin implications of that and just keeps talking.)

"So, will you explain so that I can understand?”

And he’s Smiling and how Dare and oh fuck when did Joseph even manage to look at him again. He stares for a lil too long bc What The Fuck before he goes “Okay.”

And Caesar’s smile grows into a grin like he really is just. genuinely happy to understand this part of Joseph and make sure he doesn’t hurt him again, and Joseph braces himself for an awkward conversation with Hopefully a happy ending.

(And Joseph ends up being right bc Caesar doesn’t Understand, he can’t really fully understand.

But he Tries and more importantly he Listens and he Learns and is v adamant about the fact that Joseph isn’t Weird and Wrong when it comes to these things. So he doesn’t take away the clackers again and he finally connects the dots about why Joseph always lets him lean too much of his weight on him even if he risks toppling the two of them over and so he keeps doing it. He learns Joseph’s hyperfixations and how to prod him into talking about them to make him happy or distract him from shitty things, and what it looks like when his RSD kicks in and how to act around it.

Maybe he doesn’t Get It but it’s part of Joseph, and he loves all the other parts of Joseph too. And also tbh he’s a decent fuckin human being, even if he didn’t love Joseph so much he still wouldn’t act like an asshole about this stuff.)

[violetnuisance]

Eep need an opinion- I highkey want to post some of my writing on Ao3, but I'm scared to- Like I dunno bow to start and only one person reads it help- ~🌸

Yes, you should post your works, flower anon!!! I’m just gonna be safe rather than sorry and assume you don’t have an account yet. So lemme explain how to “get started.”

1. Ao3 or Wattpad?

A lot of people discredit Wattpad but underneath the outer layer of young teen cringe, it’s actually a decent platform. People can make inline comments within your chapters to react to a certain part of your story which I think is really neat. Trying to find fics on Wattpad is kind of a mosh pit. You just fall down a rabbit hole that has no clear organizational pattern whatsoever. Despite that hellhole, if your fic is decently written, it’ll get attention from the fandom. I usually get a lot more interaction from my Wattpad readers than my Ao3 ones.

Personally, I still prefer Ao3. While I don’t get as many comments, the set up is a lot cleaner. I know that as long as I label my fic with the fandom it’s in, people will be able to clearly find it. Whereas Wattpad is one gigantic mosh pit. Since you personally mentioned ao3, I’m gonna give a lil more info on that.

2. Starting ao3

Well, you’re gonna wanna create an account. Since ao3 is completely operated by nornal joes and not a corporate entity, once you apply for an account, you’ll receive it in a couple days to a week or so. I think I got mine in two days. It wasn’t that long. Truth be told, I dunno much about setting up the actual account. I still don’t even have a pfp, and I just learned how to subscribe to authors lol.

3. Publishing a fic

I highly recommend you write something up in google docs or word and then paste it into the platform. But after you have the first part written and you give it a nice title and summary, it’s time to caregorize it. Categorizing it will draw more attention to it then the prior two aforementioned ever will. My summary’s suck and I always rely on tags. Prime example: Wait a Minute

We love just quoting song lyrics. But lemme break it up a lil.

Fandom/Pairing: just plug these bitches in. This is what most people are gonna search for and how most will find ur fic

Tags: okay so lemme tell u, I don’t take tags that seriously. Just chug in a few about what your story is. If it’s a slow burn, put that, and whatnot. But also use non official tags. Sometimes ppl just click wgen a tag bewilders them or makes them laugh. Under the table is a great example of this bullshittery.

Used to have more interaction on it before I deleted and reposted 😪

Rating: So besides tags, people can narrow their search results by choosing a certain rating. So try ya best to rate accordingly. Ao3 has a great lil explanation of each rating. If someone’s searching for only Explicit fics, they not gonna want to see one of just Sal and Ash playing tic tac toe. Twister on the other hand...

4. Wrapping Up

Idk I can’t remember anything else. High key I’m just a bumbling idiot who got lucky. When I posted Wait A Minute, it was before Sally face fanfics started heavily coming in. Since it was one of the first, it obviously got more traction. If I had posted it later, it’d probably just be lost in the sea of fics with gaping plot holes.

BUT I WILL READ UR FIC OVER BEFORE YOU POST IT IF YOU WANT??? But forewarning, I take beta reading seriously. I litter the documents people send with suggestions or concerns or whatever in the comments. So if ya don’t want that but would still like another pair of eyes on it, just tell me. I’ll still read it, but bite my tongue.

But honestly, you should post. Fandoms always need new content creators.

Also forgive me for typos, but I’m not reading over this before posting

[osomatsu-san-quotes]

Time to get to know me a little more, don't have to read, just something 4 fun

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My mom-

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Not really anyone-

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Depends. If work then no, if just hanging out then I think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

‘‘I like’‘ friend: probably. ‘‘I like’‘ crush: no

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

outgoing ppl and that just like memes and gaming. Don't know really

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Nope

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my older, middle brother

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

little bit

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Mom

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

‘‘Ah, ok.’‘

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Kenshi Yonezu songs. (Nighthawks, Lemon, Eine Kleine, Loser, BNHA Intro 2/Peace sign)

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yeah but I have hair that is greasy 24/7. So the person would probably be grossed out before they touch it

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Ye

15. What good thing happened this summer?

summer sucks so badly- but I guess…..I- don't know actually

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Never kissed someone before

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Nah

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nope, I told him and after years of being good/best friends we stopped talking

19. Do you like bubble baths?

absolutely

20. Do you like your neighbors?

don't have them. Or I just never talk to them

21. What are your bad habits?

This is kinda embarrassing but thumb sucking. like a baby. Also, nail biting

22. Where would you like to travel?

Japan or China

23. Do you have trust issues?

yeah.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

sitting behind my computer

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My face

26. What do you do when you wake up?

think about life and lay there for 30 mins

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

darker. I'm a marshmallow now

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My older youngest brother

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Ye, surprisingly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Probably yes

31. If your hair long enough for a ponytail?

I think it has to say ‘‘Is’‘, so yeah, it is

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Interesting question- I don't keep in touch with the new celebrities so idk.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

oh god- Ill just use my nickname ppl know me as, not my real one:

RfdIkVERf     -  River

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I have a worse condition than a snail

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

without tv. Don't watch it. Also, you have youtube

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Once.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Likes gaming, horror, memes, and is overall a nice guy to talk to

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Outside? You want me dead?

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Probably go into game design

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Depends on what they have done

42. If you're being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I'm being myself

43. Do you smile at strangers?

If I try to smile I look like I am disappointed in them or angry

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outer space.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Remembering I have youtube vids to watch and I have books to read

46. What are you paranoid about?

the things I don't know

47. Have you ever been high?

Nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Nah

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yeah. So I ain't going to tell it

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

Purple. I am wearing it rn

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yeah, constantly

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My face

53. Favorite makeup brand?

I don't do makeup

54. Favorite store?

Don't go to stores

55. Favorite blog?

Can't think of anything on the top of my head. Too many

56. Favorite color?

Purple or black

57. Favorite food?

Broccoli or something unhealthy like hamburgers

58. Last thing you ate?

McDonald's

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Worstenbroodjes

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Yeah. Won a playback competition in 4th grade of elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Once. I yelled back at my teacher

62. Been arrested? For what?

I'm too much of a pussy to do something to get myself arrested

63. Ever been in love?

Of course

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Mk. It all started when I was a baby and my mom kissed me on the head

65. Are you hungry right now?

Just ate

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Don't have Tumblr friends, (Or real friends)

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Nope

70. Names of your best friends?

Don’t have them

71. Craving something? What?

A drink

72. What color are your towels?

blue, blue, black, white

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

around 5

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yeah

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

over 100 probably

75. Favorite animal?

Bears or cats

76. What color is your underwear?

Night sky dark blue

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate

79. What color shirt are you wearing?

Purple hoodie

80. What color pants?

dark grey sweatpants

81. Favorite tv show?

Tanked

82. Favorite movie?

UhHHhh Osomatsu san the movie probably, not sure yet.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Never seen both but I think I like Mean Girls from what I've seen and heard

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls.

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls?

Never seen it

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

random, but Dory

87. The first person, you talked to today?

My older middle brother

88. The last person, you talked to today?

Mom

89. Name a person you hate?

To many

90. Name a person you love?

my family

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

100% 24/7 yes

92. In a fight with someone?

Have been.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

around 5

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

9

95. Last movie you watched?

Detective Pikachu

96. Favorite actress?

don't have one

97. Favorite actor?

don't have one

98. Do you tan a lot?

No

99. Have any pets?

ye

100. How are you feeling?

could be better, could be worse

101. Do you type fast?

ye

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

of course, I do

103. Can you spell well?

Depends if I'm rushing: not

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Ye

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yep

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Yeah

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Mhm

108. What should you be doing?

Getting ready to go to bed

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Nah

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Nada

111. Do you have trust issues?

Isn't this question asked before?

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Mom

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Never had one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yeah

115. Do you play the Wii?

Used to

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Nope, for once

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Never tried it

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Kinda

119. Favorite book?

Warrior Cats

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Pretty spoopy shit

121. Are you mean?

I dunno

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Nope

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Waste of time when they are going to be dirty again by the next day

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Never thought of it.

125. Do you believe in true love?

Probably not

126. Are you currently bored?

YEah

127. What makes you happy?

Spending time with myself

128. Would you change your name?

Mhm

129. What your zodiac sign?

Libra

130. Do you like subway?

Never tried it

131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Think about life and what to do

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

This has been asked before

133. Favorite lyrics right now?

‘‘Write a story of a hero!’‘ - Peace sign

134. Can you count to one million?

Yeah but I ain't gonna try rn 

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

A lot, hard to pick one

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Open

137. How tall are you?

around 5′9

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Blonde

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favorite month?

October & December

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nope

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

Neither

146. Was today a good day?

Yeah

147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars

148. What’s your favorite quote?

‘‘Eh’‘ -points to sweater- ‘‘ ‘Not my problem‘ ‘‘

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Kinda??

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

don't have a book next to me

Wow if you are here holy shit- ty??

-Mod Nekomatsu

[heterophobiclesbean]

I HATE that post going around about how ace discourse has fucked uo so many people back into the closet and they don't feel safe coming out... Like yeah I've seen some mean posts directed at ace ppl that were unnecessary but jfc we've always been like "u can be ace but if ur cishet just don't say ur LGBT k?" And then had to deal with so much homophobia and being compaired to horrible fucking people.

i mean im gonna be honest here... i can see where ace people are coming from when they read posts that are aggressively worded about aces engaging in problematic behaviors and they get upset. Because I empathize with the concept of feeling like you dont fully understand yourself and then suddenly Realizing but then finding out there are people who say negative things about you online and getting hurt because you were excited about an identity that finally made you feel Right. Like im literally a lesbian every LGBT person can understand that feeling

but its also completely ridiculous to compare the ace discourse to actual real life homophobia and transphobia. like in the real world, off tumblr and twitter, homophobia and transphobia do not go away. when trans people want to, i dunno, pee in a public restroom, they cant just block transphobes and log off and go pee. transphobes exist in the real world who will actively harrass and assault trans people. when gay people want to hold hands in public with their partners, they cannot block people who call them slurs or log off. deleting your tumblr account doesnt mean you will no longer experience homophobia.

and like i get it! i really do! i get what its like to be made fun of for something that you cant change about yourself! i get what its like to feel like you belong to a certain group of people because you have some similar experiences! hell, when i was like 15 and dumb as fuck i “”””””””related””””””””” to poc who would always get their names pronounced incorrectly by substitute teachers and whose names nobody could pronounce because my name is Very Very Italian. but just because sometimes people get my name wrong because its foreign to them and people get immigrants’ names wrong because its foreign to them doesnt mean that i have the same experiences as people of color! and i get that sometimes you see a marginalized group that you arent a part of talking about an aspect of their oppression that is something you also deal with (for other reasons) and you can want to relate and find common ground!

but its like when someone says “i have OCD” and someone responds with “oh yeah im a neat freak too!” like!!!!!! its different!!!!!!! its not the same!!!!!!! just because you think you can relate to a marginalized group doesnt mean you are part of that group and it doesnt mean that group owes you sympathy! a white person getting my name wrong and a white person getting a latinx person’s name wrong are different! Context matters, actually!

and for the love of god stop using the phrase “coming out” to talk about things that arent LGBT. you cant “come out” as ace. thats not coming out. you can’t “come out” as a republican. thats not coming out. if you arent lgbt you dont have to “come out” because “coming out” refers explicitly to the lgbt experience of telling someone you are gay/bi/trans/nb/not straight/not cis. telling your friends you are ace is not coming out to them. ugh

[movedto-mementomoreeyes]

so i saw newsies twice this weekend at my local community college

these are some important things from each show

first of all their jack looked exactly like jerjor?? he was so good

like when i first saw him i was like Huh is that baby jeremy jordan? little teenage jerjor?

anyway crutchie was also very cute he had a pretty face and fluffy brown hair and fuck my uwus

they kinda rushed their lines throughout but it was all kids and not like a Pro Production so,, i’m lettin em off the hook for tht

the santa fe prologue was so,, pretty and lyrical just like in the soundtrack i was yellin

also this is when i’ll note there’s two string players in the pit and the violin is my orchestra teacher at school so i got to say “YOU SUCK” when i saw her at intermission before raving abt how AMAZING SHE IS LIKE DUDE SHE’S THE ONLY VIOLIN OUT OF TWELVE PEOPLE AND SHE CARRIED SO WELL

race was so short?? he was very short and very chaotic

also he wore a big red flannel and i was like “thts definitely not his” and i’ll get to this again later

albert was also very short and had a higher voice (race’s was surprisingly deep) and i was ,, he’s so cute albert was very cute

ALSO SPECS WAS A GIRL. SHE WAS THE BEST CAST MEMBER.

race: chatting w specs from another part of the lodging tower thing // albert: sneaks the cigar from race’s back pocket // race, whipping around: HEY TH

carrying the banner had so much! energy! and they did a bit of the original choreo from the live recording it was rlly good

there were a lot of girlsies and one of them (splasher) went to my school a while back and she was so GOOD

ALSO THEY HAD A BOOTS

katherine looked and sounded like sarah schauer and she was,, so good

romeo was very very tall like i went out after the show and i hit his shoulders (i’m 5’9”.)

so many pirouettes. so much jumping over each other.

oscar was very very tall?? and morris was rlly short i was like Whoa!

also oscar was triple cast as jacobi and the guy jack sells davey’s pape to he was so talented

“whatEVER. happened. to ROMANCE!”

crutchie was so sweet. he was so sweet.

davey was so awkward in his vest and tie and button-up

and les was so EXPRESSIVE the whole time he was so talented

they all only got like 1-2 papes each but thts bc they only had one stack to grab from so it was ok but it was funny when jack counted davey’s one pape over and over again before WHOA NEW KID’S RIGHT

i’m sayin this now. i’m so sorry to the ppl i sat beside and in front of bc i went feral through the whole thing

also i’m sorry to ethan for going feral On him bc i’d grab his hand when i got rlly excited so i didn’t Flap Flap Flap and Kick Time

pulitzer was so tall and proud and his stage presence,, wow

ALSO SEITZ WAS PLAYED BY A GIRL AND I YELLED

she and hannah were very cute and seitz’s dress was so PRETTY

pulitzer’s voice was so good,, wow

davey yellin PAPER! PAPER! EVENIN PAPE HERE! was so cute bc when he got turned down he was :0?

n then he was >:0 when jack lied and more >:0 when les lied

“our father taught us not to lie” “yeah? mine taught me not to STAHVE”

SNYDER WAS ACTUALLY SCARY HE WAS SO SO SCARY TO ME

he had this weird cape-coat thing and a cane he kept drumming his fingers on and a bowler hat

the chase scene was a lot longer than normal???

medda was white which made me :\ but she was still very talented and motherly so

my girl splasher was a bowery beauty and she hammed it up so much more than the other girls i’m sorry i had to say what’s true

that’s rich was so good and i rlly liked the set for the bowery!! it was rlly pretty

also bunsen’s role as the theatre man looked like a carnival hawker i giggled @ his pinstriped vest

katherine nearly smacked jack when she yelled DO YOU MIND??

jojo was played by a girl and she and race were doin their sirens is like lullabies to me thing and when he said “the further away from you i sleep” she punched him in the arm

RACE MISPRONOUNCED HOI POLLOI AND I DIED

also race was very confused at all the headlines i think he was being played as “can’t read counts on the others” which i love

ALSO HE TRIED COUNTING KN HIS FINGERS AND IKE HAD TO HELP HIM OUT

speaking of ike she was so pretty and expressive and she and specs (judging from their relationship portrayed in this) r in lesbians

when they were doin their lil bit before davey explaining a union crutchie seemed like he just wanted to sell papes even if it was more expensive and my heart,

“what’s a statement of PORPOISE”

race was still confused after davey explained my boy

world will know!!!! was so good!!!!!!

WHEN LES WAS YELLIN @ THE DOOR HE WAS SO ANGRY

THEY WERE ALL SO ANGRY

jacobi had a limp and he was hunched over

“we launched our strike in a most auspicious manner!” “[ad lib of what??]” “auspicious means-“ “I DUNNO ABOUT THAT. B”

also mush was also a girlsie!! she had braids and she was a cutie

race was a bit more hesitant when denying taking brooklyn??

also race got the bowery and he was like “and I. got the bowery. >:D”

KATHERINE WAS ABT TO THROW HANDS W JACK EVERY TIME HE MADE A COMMENT

watch what happens was a bit off-beat but kath’s voice was so GOOD

saturday night was better

also on the “cocky little son of a-“ line she tried to strangle the typewriter

“if you see brooklyn, then they’re with us” cue race looking into the distance with hand binoculars

seize the day!!! holy shit!!!!!!

all the scabs were girls. my uwus fell

DANCE BREAK DANCE BREAK OH MY GOD THEY FUVKING

CRUTCHIE DID GUARD SHIT W HIS CRUTCH!!! I YELLED

ALSO SPECS DID THE NEWSPAPER TURN TOMMY BOY DID IN LIVESIES AND FUCK!!!!! MY UWU SUPPLY IS DEPLETING

when they got to the cops and romeo was like THEY’RE SLAUGHTERIN US he got punched in the gut and crawled offstage and my heart. oh god

SANTA FE WAS SO RAW AND GOOD AND JACK WAS LIKE. SOBBING

and when he said “close his eyes and GO” it was more like “close his eyes and-,,,, go,,,,,,,,,” and my HEART

act two!! act two was so Good

during the ya erster bit race kept yelling YA ERSTER over and over again and everyone was like WTF DO U MEAN and eventually albert had to. RACE WHAT DO YOU MEAN. and they all yelled OYSTER at him in unison it was rlly cute

KONY WAS SO GOOD

WHEN KATH DID HER FIRST SPLIT SHE JUST DROPPED DOWN INTO A FRONT SPLIT AND MY JAW D R O P P E D

also specs’s tap solo,,, man

it went specs, then elmer, then race for the tap solos on the table and they were all so GOOD

everyone in the audience was screaming and shouting at the end and i was like EEEEE

letter from the refuge hit me like a fuckimg truck. i forgot abt it and then i saw the candle and was like oh no oh no oh no

snyder yelled @ crutchie to shut up at the end and fuck i’m not kidding when i say he scares me

watch what happens reprise was so good but davey’s voice broke on “poor GUY’S head is spinning”

it wasn’t a fluke ig he can’t hit tht in his belting voice

also when les said “and i’ve got a date!” someone said YEAH YOU DO

when seitz did her bit during bottom line reprise she hit an e5 and whoa. whoa wig

wiesel was the one tht took jack to the cellar and he was rlly rlly mean through it all and :(

OH GOD BROOKLYN!!!

BROOKLYN WAS 80% LITTLE KIDS

spot was played by an understudy and he was LITERALLY LIKE 8 AND HE WAS SO LITTLE MY HEART

THEY LIFTED HIM ON THEIR SHOULDERS AND HE GOT THE WHOLE VERSE TO HIMSELF AND I SCREAMED

I WAS GOING FUCKING FERAL OK

his stage presence was so,, intense he commanded the whole stage and i was SHOOK

saturday night he was played by a rlly cute boy and he rolled his r’s when he talked and oh god. oh god he’s cute.

and he and race were the ones that switched today so guess ypt newsies said sprace is canon

when jack and kath kissed the first time everyone was like Oh?

during something to believe in the sax squeaked and i nearly lost my shit

THEIR HARMONIES THO. JACK HAD A RIFF THT WASN’T IN THE LIVE SND I FELL TO THE FLOOR

(friday night) suspicion confirmed. at once and for all race had the flannel of i think romeo’s brooklyn boy like they switched and i was >:3!

albert was double cast as bill and mike was double cast as darcy and AAAA

the printing press was so steampunk i yelled

DURING OAFA LIKE THE LAST CHORUS THEY WERE HANDING OUT NEWSIES BANNERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS I’M GONNA TRY N GET ONE TODAY

update bc i was dressed as a newsie romeo looked at me and said “look like you already joined, huh?”, winked, and kept going i’m so,

i don’t have much to say except spot was brooding the whole time in pulitzer’s office

ALSO CRUTCHIE HIT SNYDER IN THE JUNK W HIS CRUTCH AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT

specs accidentally ripped her pape at the end and oscar was like you ain’t gettin a new one and then she :(ed until he gave her a new one

I WENT FERAL DURING THE CURTAIN CALLS

also when they were all outside lined up on friday i had to kneel to b face to face w spot he was so tiny

saturdays spot was still short but not as short

SNYDER HAD A SWEET FACE BUT HE WAS STILL SCARY

but most importantly i had to tell specs she was my favourite and she just. AAAAAAAA like ME WATCHING HER

UPDATE JACK AND DAVEY GAVE ME HUGS AND RACE AND I SHOOK HANDS AND DAVEY LOOKS AND SOUNDS LIKE WILL ROLAND

that’s all folks!

[queencryo]

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

[cross-d-a]

fic tag game

aaahhh @vishcount thank you for tagging me!!! These are so fun and I adored reading about your fic journey~!  ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ ❤

OH as a note!! For the ppl I tag at the end I don’t expect you to read all of this bc it’s A Lot!!! but I figured you might want to do this game yourself? haha :)

Name: cross-d-a shortened version of my first ever username. unfortunately stuck with it now haha but i’m fond of it :p wish it was cuter tho!!

Posting the rest of this under the cut so it doesn’t eat up people’s dashes!! 

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Fandoms: 

oKAY YIKES there are....honestly too many too name. I’ve got a short and obsessive attention span so it’s either all or nothing with me usually. When I can stay in a fandom for a long period of time it’s a miracle. I’ll name the bigger ones that I’ve all written fic for! Even if I’ve never posted them haha

Right now I’m very firmly into Daomu Biji (dmbj). It feels like it’s both got a crap ton of content and yet barely anything at all haha. Maybe because the English fandom is so small. But at least there are a bunch of dramas and books!!! I really, really, really adore dmbj so much!! And a large part of that is the fandom!!! It's been a really cool and unique experience! Everyone in it is truly so kind and wonderful, and I’ve made some really incredible friends because of it (looking at you vish!! ❤). I’ve got a bunch of wips, but I’ve only posted two fics for dmbj!

Before this I was very into Guardian and mdzs. MDZS was my first foray into cdramas and Guardian’s Zhu Yilong really suckered me into watching more haha I also have fics for both these fandoms!

My very first fandoms were Fullmetal Alchemist, D. Gray-Man and Naruto. My very old ffnet account has fics for these and I’ve got a bunch of newer wips on my tablet. Then Star Trek, Twilight, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Death Note, Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar the Last Airbender and Marvel were a few of my main ones in high school. Plus a bunch of anime (like Fruits Basket! and Kuroshitsuji and Natsume Yuujinchou). 

Then college hit and I renewed my childhood love of Tolkien (mainly lotr and the Hobbit), and Star Wars. I also found Teen Wolf! Then after college it was Stranger Things. 

I find myself in a cycle of mild fondness and complete obsession with these fandoms haha I go back to Star Wars at least once a year!! Then I’m in the gffa hole for a few months. Marvel also reoccurs, depending on how interested I am in new content! Star Trek I always always always go back to. TOS is my comfort show and it will never fade from my heart ❤

But for now I’m stuck in cdrama hell and I love it

Tropes: 

Time travel, found family, whump+hurt/comfort, fairytale-like elements, resurrective immortality (thanks to a “Nine Lives” Hobbit fic), CROSSOVERS

I’m a slut for all these things so they often worm their way into my plots haha

I also just- love weird premises. I think that’s the anime influencing me haha

Fic I spent most time on: 

My series he leaves sand and stardust in my wake (main fic is hurricane on the edge of oblivion), I have...spent five years on now. I have done so much research for this fic it’s insane. 

The premise is force ghost!Obi-Wan getting shunted back into his tiny 10 year old self. I incorporate a shit ton of legends and I try to stay as canon as possible. I basically want this au to feel like it’s 1000% plausible while still getting all my gay shit. It’s chock full of whump, redemption, found family, minor characters turning into major characters, and I’ve got slavery uprising on the mind, too. It’s just- everything I could ever want to explore in the Star Wars universe basically. 

It’s my first big project. I started doodling and scribbling ideas in the margins of my notebook in my Scottish History class. I adore it so so so much. But, because of my hyperfixation and fleeting intense obsession with things it makes it- really difficult to consistently update. I leave it for months at a time and I am constantly guilt-ridden about it. Because it’s my baby and I have a lot of wonderful readers. I fear I’ll never be able to finish it. Especially since I’ve written so much and I’m still only in the beginning of it. ( ; A ; )

Also, I’ve spent so much time with Xanatos, Feemor and Bruck that they just feel like mine now. I can’t read any fics that involve them, it’s too strange. Which is a damn shame because I love them so much haha OH ALSO!! I think it’s the first really big fic to include those three?? So I’m very proud about that haha (I’ve had so many ppl comment about how they actually Give A Shit about these three and are Invested bc of me haha)

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: 

hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go) (Star Wars)

My long-term passion project. My love-letter to Star Wars, I suppose. Reading it now I feel like a lot of it is clunky or long-winded, but I think it really shows the foundation of my writing today :) Main characters are Obi-Wan, Xanatos Du Crion, Qui-Gon Jinn, Bruck Chun and Feemor. Eventually we’ll get to Maul, Savage, Feral, Shmi Skywalker, (more!) Ahsoka, Anakin and a shit ton of clones ❤

things we hunger for (Guardian)

My Ye Zun self-indulgent fic. It’s a time travel amnesia Weilanzun! Honestly has some of my fav writing I’ve ever done. It’s so soft and really indulges in the hurt/comfort. It gives Ye Zun the friends and family I think he deserves. Also, he gets to grow into a (mostly!) functional person and I adore him.

the beast that slumbers within your soul (mdzs)

Jiang Cheng centric fic!! I feel like all my favourite fics I’ve written are love letters haha. This is one def my love letter to Jiang Cheng. This fic possessed me for two whole days. I wrote 16k in almost one sitting. I went to sleep at 6 in the morning bc I couldn’t stop writing. And when I drifted off I kept thinking of new ideas so I’d whip out my phone and write down lines and notes. I- have never ever ever felt that way about anything. It was- insane. It felt insane. It was so amazing. I’m still riding the memory of that high.

 Basically Jiang Cheng actually finds Baoshan Sanren and it turns out she’s a fox demon and Jiang Cheng is descended from wolves. It’s- okay I said the fic above this had my favourite writing?? That was a lie. This has my favourite writing I’ve ever done. It’s unfinished bc I am in dmbj hell but I am still excited about the next chapter which features Wei Wuxian’s pov!!

the whispers of spirits (dmbj)

My current passion project. In a way it kinda feels similar to hurricane? Bc multiple povs, incorporating different aspects of canon (we’ll get there!! I promise!), shit ton of research, etc. etc. I really really really love it for so many reasons. I’m basically taking all the things I was unsatisfied with in Reboot and Sha Hai and running with it. Found family and whump galore! It’s also a love letter to the women of dmbj who really deserve so so so much better.

Honourable mention to:

One Day (you’ll have given more of yourself than is meant to be taken) (Marvel)

This fic also kinda possessed me. I just- couldn’t get rid of the idea of a trans!Thor. And I mean a mtf Thor! It’s just? So many people look at Thor and go “that’s a Real Man.” Full stop. They never think there could be anything more, and it really really really bothered me. So I wrote out my feelings. I’m not trans. I don’t have that experience at all. I’ve had issues and confusion about my gender but nothing like this. I just wanted to do justice to this idea of Thor in my head. And I still feel a bit nervous having posted it. But I've gotten so many comments from people who really connected with what I’ve written? So I’m very very thankful I wrote it and it has a very special place in my heart. It’s a very cathartic fic.

Fic I spent least time on: 

Probably we rise (Star Wars) and I think it shows haha. I wrote it in response to Dave Filoni posting a drawing of Ahsoka and Gandalf telling her “People thought I was dead, too, and look how that turned out...” So I incorporated Ahsoka (and Din and Grogu and Ezra!!!) into the ending of Rise of Skywalker, kinda explaining how I think they could all still be alive. :)

Longest fic: 

hurricane is my longest fic (159k) but I’m kinda worried whispers will eclipse that.....

Shortest fic: 

Of my posted ones it’s The Five Moments it Took Tony and Scott to Admit They Were Best Friends (and the first time they ever did), currently clocks at 1.6k. It’s unfinished tho so maybe that doesn’t count.... otherwise it’s we rise which is completed and 2k.

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: 

hurricane overall has the most of all these. Though I don’t think hits counts as much bc it’s multi-chapter. If you discount multi-chapter stuff, most hits goes to my obikin smutfic Homecoming, bc people are horny af haha

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: 

If I had energy I’d like to rewrite the beginning of hurricane bc it feels so so wordy. I’d want to expand on One Day bc I really would like to write a whole series with trans!Thor. And like- I’d really like the focus to finish any of my WIPs.

Share a bit of a WIP: I really wanna share my Guardian/dmbj crossover that I started back in August. Bc I adore the idea of wu xie&shen wei&ye zun triplets! Plus time travel!!! I dunno if I’ll ever finish it tho ( ; A ; ) It just feels like a lot to deal with right now.

This scene takes place during the Mountain Awl arc. Guardian crew and desperado fam run across each other at the village! Wu Xie has recently found out that he’s adopted and he’s searching for answers in the area Sanshu originally found amnesiac!toddler!Wu Xie in :) Gonna pull two snippets bc I’m v excited and this might be the only time anyone else sees this fic haha:

“Oh?” Pangzi focuses on Yunlan now, lips twisting. “You think I’ve ‘got the wrong guy,’ huh?” He laughs, but it’s not a nice sound. “That’s rich! Are you that cocky or are you just stupid?”

Bristling, Yunlan drops his hands and scowls. “Excuse me?”

“Sir,” Shen Wei tries. “I think—”

Pangzi’s eyes snap back to Shen Wei, sharp and blazing. “How dare you fucking steal his face!”

What?

Automatically, Zhao Yunlan turns to Shen Wei, but the professor looks just as shell-shocked as Zhao Yunlan feels which- is seriously something. Since everything about Shen Wei is so carefully controlled, kept to the minimum. Except for those delightful little smiles that bloom across his lovely face, or the startled little bursts of laughter that fall from his lips. Or even when anger and frustration spark across his features, cracking his calm veneer open enough that he can see a glimmer of what lies beneath, the fire in those eyes. Zhao Yunlan delights in those moments, makes a game of making Shen Wei’s control slip.

He tells himself it’s nothing more than a game. Nothing more than trying to find out what makes Shen Wei tick.

Zhao Yunlan’s always been very bad at lying to himself. Or very good. Depending on who you’re asking.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Yunlan splutters.

But before anyone can say anything else, a very familiar voice calls:

“Pangzi? What’s wrong?”

Yunlan can feel Shen Wei stiffen, and Yunlan himself is pulled to that voice like a planet in orbit, like the inevitable plummet to the ground.

Another shadow wavers in the doorway before it steps out onto the dirt. Light illuminates shaggy hair, limning it gold, sharply casting everything else in shadow. But as the figure nears, the contrast softens until Yunlan can see the newcomer’s face properly and- and—

“Wu Xie!” Pangzi growls. “We’ve got ourselves an impostor!”

The man wearing Shen Wei’s face steps up to them, brows furrowed and mouth pulled down into a sharp frown. He glances between them, eyes landing on Shen Wei. His scowl deepens. He opens his mouth, but then—

“Wu Xie?” Shen Wei breathes, all trembly and lost and hopeless.

Heart in his throat, Yunlan turns to Shen Wei again. Turns and flinches at that stricken look upon Shen Wei’s pale pinched face.

“A-Xie?” Shen Wei chokes. “Didi?”

and

Pangzi snorts. “Professor?”

“I-it’s true!”

Startled Yunlan swings his attention over to Jiajia who clenches her backpack to her chest, face screwed up in admirable determination. “P-professor Shen took me and Xiao Quan on a field trip to investigate an archeological site around here!”

“Oh?” Wu Xie drawls all slow and amused. “Well, what a coincidence. We’re archeologists, too.”

“With guns?” Yunlan bites out.

Wu Xie raises a brow, grin full of teeth. “Well, you can never be too prepared.”

“Right,” Yunlan drawls right back. “Are you a professor, too, then? You come here with your students?”

Wu Xie outright grins. “You could say that, I suppose.”

Out of the corner of his eye, one of the men rolls his eyes. He’s the one with sharp features, glasses and looped earbuds. Does he think it’s appropriate to listen to music at a time like this? Yunlan admires the man’s gall.

aahhhh vish thanks so much again for tagging me!! This was so fun to relive my fic memories!! I’m gonna tag @alwaysaslutforshakespeare @jockvillagersonly @tehfanglyfish @lichelleme @undyingsunshine @humanlighthouse  @thewindsofsong I’m curious about your guys’ writing and fandom journey!! As always, no pressure to actually complete this!! I just thought it was fun ❤

Wow if you read all of this I am very humbled and impressed, thank you!!

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