#but ok to like/rb
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“what do you want to be remembered for?”
well frankly, i’d rather not be. if i could have it my way, i wouldn’t be remembered at all because id be no more than a fly on the wall. i think an ideal experience for me is to be able to experience life through the perspective of another. i want the definition i’ve carved for myself to dissipate completely, the shame and the choice to be taken from me. but i don’t want to miss out on the wonders of it all. i want to look at the stars.
if everything that happened to me had no material impact on myself or others, that’s how id want to be.
a fly on the wall.
#bros goin thru it 🤨🤨🤨#sorry i felt poeticccc don’t look at me im being vulnerable 🙈🙈 /j#vent#but ok to like/rb
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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"furry inflation" (2024)
#my art#furry#ok to rb#had a meltdown about how none of my art feels like 'real art' today and then immediately drew this#not helping my case#anyway yall should get into the comic series im making please
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silliness and sincerity are not opposites btw. they are married. bisexually
#🍜#saw a post that was like ‘why does everyone love silliness where the sincerity’#IN ME BITCH. along with the silliness!!!!! fuck u mean??#ok to rb#🦠#blog thesis
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the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.
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actually. that post about how its important to have weird kinky queer friends. i think the same is true of really every type of ostracized person but in particular i wanna point it out wrt mentally ill people.
if you watch a movie villainizing DID or schizophrenia or something, and you think, "hey, this seems sort of like its based on what my friend has and theyre just a chill person, why are they making my friends condition seem threatening?" thats good.
if you see someone use narcissist as a synonym for abuser and you think, "what, no, im friends with someone who has NPD and i know theyre a kind person, this isnt true at all," thats good.
if you hear politicians try to frame addicts as violent criminals who should be locked up and you think "no, my buddy sam is just sick, their withdrawals are really painful and they dont have a good support system, they shouldnt be locked up for that," thats good.
being able to counter ableist rhetoric with "i know from experience thats not how these people are" is a good thing. like yeah obviously dont make friends with mentally ill people just for brownie points but also try to make the conscious effort to be open to friendship with people who have stigmatized mental health issues. and maybe even more importantly, be someone who makes it clear to others that youre safe to be open about these things with, because chances are youre ALREADY friends with mentally ill people even if you dont realize it, because a lot of us with more demonized conditions try to hide those conditions out of fear, and it helps a lot to know our friends are allies - and then we might feel safe discussing our experiences, IF we want to, and in turn that can help you better understand the realities and diversities of our situations and be less susceptible to ableist rhetoric.
#ok to rb#i dont feel like tagging though bc im not 100% confident in how i worded this#but idk how better to and i want it out there. idk
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that smoking in public poll got me thinking. you don't get to waffle about being neutral with these options you gotta choose
i personally like the smell of weed but dislike the smell of cigarette/tobacco smoke, but combing through the notes on that poll indicates that this opinion may be unpopular! idk!
#speak friend and enter#ok to rb#so many people complaining about smelling weed outside....what has this world come to (it's gentrification and liberal pearl-clutching)#but would you complain about gentle birdsong? a distant thunderhead's lazy rambling across the windswept plain?#ofc im not saying like. people with asthma or what-have-you are bad for not liking smoke in their lungs but you know what i mean
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being vulnerable for a second to use my pooltoy furry oc to convey what recovering from contamination ocd has been like while undergoing hrt.
#being on hrt has been one of the best things to happen to my body#i feel more like myself than i ever had before#and there have been new challenges with my ocd since starting#but my worst day now is so much easier than my worst day before starting!#and my best days are miles better!!!#anyway stay hydrated everyone !#pooltoy furry#pooltoy#my art#ok to rb
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cant explain why but harrow would love the princess bride.
#tell me im wrong#shed be like it's so unrealistic [happy sobs]#the locked tomb#lessons of the hand and the mouth#ok to rb
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In a better kinder world. Gideon nav would have been at the club.
#😔#the locked tomb#eskildit posts tlt#she would have loved it#admittedly I do have a fic concept about her at the club but I uh refer to it as#Gideons no good very bad night at the dyke bar#sorry king I’m making you suffer like this#gideon nav#ok to rb
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Incredibly rude that I have to teach myself how to have positive feelings. Those neural pathways are extremely rough terrain, compared to the well-worn paths of negativity and self-loathing.
What do you mean I have to do a productive thing and coach myself on how to feel accomplished from it?
What do you mean I have to do a fun activity and forcefully allow myself to enjoy it?
What do you mean I have to do relaxing things and coax myself to actually relax?
What do you mean all this comes naturally to some people as simple cause and effect and I'm out here fighting tooth and nail to feel good???
#ok to rb#personal#my baseline existence is like#*does a Good Fun Thing* ''ah. i should be shot actually''
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#I was watching an austrian guys video on foraging mushrooms#and I swear this was the cold open#and it fully activated my autism#like yes. YES. SHLAPP THAT BOY!!#the channel is called Mykohunter365 but it is entirely in german I'm afraid#still. enjoy this 2 second clip my tumblr girlies#shlappshlappshlappsh#mushroom#mycology#foraging#autism#video#forest#my stuff#ok to rb#TURN ON SOUND
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Yes you’re not fatphobic but are you capable of talking about fat people in a positive manner without saying somft/round/rotund/squishy/tumby/chumby/any other variation of the sort. Are you capable of talking about us in a positive manner without it being about beauty or attractiveness. Are you able to talk about fat people in general without being dehumanizing or infantilizing. Can you treat fat people with respect.
#disclaimer ofc that not every fat person feels this way. but i personally hate it sooo bad#and also disclaimer that ur ok to rb but the second someone clowns im taking away reblog and reply rights#like i think if youre talking about a fat person the same way youd talk about a fat cat you need to reconsider some things#tbh i see it more w characters than i do real people but its smth i Have seen happen and it drives me up the wall
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i have started asking myself “how can i make this more fun?” in regards to the things i have to do and it is such a small difference but it brings me so much delight
#🍜#sagittarius posting#but really like i just let myself stim however i want and i let myself do my weird silly harmless stuff#i used to be sooooo self conscious even when all alone! so this has been making me feel braver in a weird and unexpected way#i love joy i will never stop seeking it out!!!#ok to rb#🦠
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butches in their natural habitat (bookstore)
#self#lesbian fashion#butch lesbian#denim#butch fashion#this is the one where i feel like i would see this post circulating and the caption would be like#lesbians in brooklyn#1991#whereas in fact this one is#lesbians in cleveland#2024#not only ok to rb but actively encouraged to rb
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no one seems happier in life than those eccentric old ladies who wear all one color or collect frogs or have wacky hair colors and usually live alone with some funky pets and have weekly book club meetings with their equally amazing friends
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