#but oh my gosh 😭💀

[phosphorus-noodles]

My mom just sent me a post from a gut doctor talking about how you're ruining your brain (I'm sorry but the second it said a *gut* doctor was talking about the *brain* I stopped listening) by staying up past 10 pm bc hormones and cortisol etc etc and like. ok sure. your brain does weird stuff late at night this makes sense. howEVER. when the motivation of sending that post is "ohh well you're always so grumpy around me therefore you get no sleep and are actively ruining your health you should fix that so you'll be happier for me ^^" and not actual concern? yeah, no thanks.

And let me tell you, the temptation to respond to that text to the wikipedia article for passive-aggressiveness... the AUDACITY.

[trippin-chippin]

BOURBON

SILLY MAN >:)

(Click for better quality)

[whispence]

i don’t know why i sat down and decided “i’m gonna make them autumn themed colour schemes” but…

here we are.

[imblocking-you]

SECOND POST KASI PUNO NA 'YUNG ISA

[jazzy-tzw]

I went to reply to your post, and I looked at your icon here's my reenactment.

"Hmmm, there's something up either their icon, why is there like a white spot in the middle?"

*clicks to enlarge*

IS THAT FUCKIN STEVE HARVEY

LMFAOOOOOOOO

That’s literally just Roman’s face though! That’s the same set of teeth!!!

[kalpasio]

Oh!! Speaking of Kelp at the orphanage, I was looking through my camera roll and I ran across that picture of him again. I looked closer at his old mask and I’m like “what the hell is that supposed to be??”. Then I was plagued by visions. His mask struck me as a little weird, because at a time where honkai was running rampant, I doubt he would have had the time to stop at a Spirit Halloween and buy one.

I thought the texture kind of resembled wood and I remembered that he had wooden figures in his luggage— so like what if it was a keepsake one of the kids carved for him?? If I remember correctly, there was a cutscene where there were some kids (presumably infected with honkai), sitting under a tree, so maybe the tree ACTUALLY has some significance, but frankly I think I’m becoming delusional. It’s more likely that the devs were just like… “huh this looks cool” and slapped it on him. I can only dream 😔

-yo hey anon AGAIN I am so sorry

I think, I'm not 100% sure, but I think, he had the mask before coming to the orphanage? cause aponia just pulled him off the streets like some sort of kidnapper and I don't think it's said if he had it at that point or not but I've always just assumed he did?

I do know that in chapter three? you can try to talk to Kalpas and ask about the mask and he tells you to fuck off 🧡 and then Elysia comes over and will answer your questions and you can ask her about the mask and she says it was just like a super common kids mask you could buy anywhere lol and then I think Sakura confirms this?

the kids giving him the mask makes a lot more sense to me tho. like man's insane but not to the point of just wearing a mask for no reason, and I think sentimentality is extremely high on his list of good reasons lol

[noxtivagus]

GOOD EVENING 🤍

[ilydeku]

Hello!! Before I start, I just want to say that your green profile aesthetic is so prettyyy😭😭😭 it honestly reminds me of Pinterest idk. Can I request IT!girl!reader dating middle school Izuku? (im just in love w loser bf x drop dead gorg reader!)

tysm anonnie !!❤️❤️

im not sure if i did this right, but here u go 😭💕

~

you, an IT girl, dating izuku in middle school

- now this is quite the unexpectation

- what were you doing with the quirkless loser, Deku??

- you, so full of confidence with the way you carried yourself, loads of friends, grades of flying colors, beauty unmatched, a strong quirk. the list goes on

- him? the only thing remarkable is probably his will to keep going. just a quirkless outcast, a shameless nerd with unreachable dreams

- LITERALLY THIS LMFAOO:

- so why? it came as a GREAT surprise to see a post of you and Deku hanging out at a kitty cafe on insta. was it a dare? a prank? like ts gotta be some typa joke right

- WRONGG.

- they're merely scratching the surface, a surface that's not at all what it seems

- he's a really sweet boy, completely taken advantage of because of his meekness

- despite being quirkless, he was the realest person you've encountered in the school: observant, hard working, respectful. it's not like a quirk defines you anyway

- it's so embarrassing watching a classmate with the most ugly, useless, atrocious quirk you've ever witnessed poke fun at Deku

- like oh my GOSH dude they get humbled QUICK after you mention that you'd rather be quirkless

- like atp that ain't a quirk that's a disability 💀—not to be mean, but to make a point that Deku is just as capable of becoming a hero as anyone else

- going to school dances with Deku would be a lot more enjoyable if it weren't for those meddling whispers about you two. he often gets pushed to the sidelines 'cause you get swarmed by your friends and bombarded with questions :(

- but in the end, you came with him and mattered the most to him.

- he gets so nervous when he's around you, help him, he can't even look at you

- not in offense or anything. you make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he can't help but feel enveloped by your presence

- you're this beautiful ray of light and he's kinda just..the shadow that follows after

"Izuku...Izuku did I do something wrong?"

"What? N-No! Of course not!"

"Then why aren't you looking at me?"

"Because you're—you're really pretty..."

"Pfft. You're really pretty too."

- Deku doesn't really initiate anything, thinking it'd be too lame or uncomfortable for you :( and if he does, he'll hesitate and drawback any ideas aforethought

- he follows you like a little puppy, always at your disposal

- he knows NOTHING about dating, only the note of going to amusements parks and sharing a sweet treat

- his confidence dwindles :( maybe he could learn a thing or two from you? <3

- when i tell you he was absolutley shocked when you confessed to him. his immediate reaction was playing it off as a joke

Wh..What? Oh...very funny, y/n...Huh..? YOU'RE SERIOUSOWUEIDEGHD!?!?

- he ALWAYS questions your feelings towards him—why me of all others? but i'm just a regular boy and you're..you? (gorgeous, pretty, beautiful, super cool, whole hearted, sweet...)

- and you can reassure everytime—because you're you and i like you!! a one of a kind.

- Deku doesn't have much to give to you, but he does have a big heart and alotta love

- maybe he is a loser, but he's your loser, and you wouldn't have him any other way

[yvmoveon]

.

[meowzfordayz]

when you grab their chest — akaza, douma, muzan, kyojuro, giyuu, tengen

Author’s Note: pardon the ridiculously long title. 🥴😂 “Fem!Reader” applies to Tengen only.

when you grab their chest — akaza, douma, muzan, kyojuro, giyuu, tengen

Akaza x Reader, Douma x Reader, Muzan x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~900

CW: dark humor, Fem!Reader, mild sexual content

Suggestion Fulfilled: I have a request😤 I recently read a certain ass slapping fic which I adored could you do a similar fic with the same characters +giyu and Douma with the reader coming up from behind the and squeezing their man tiddies

~faqs~

I 100% would’ve used MAN TIDDIES in my title, but figured Tumblr would hide this post from tags if I did, so I went w/ “chest” instead 😆

Also, some of these are canon compliant — Muzan, Kyojuro, Giyuu

While others are set in modern au (alternate universe; modern setting) — Akaza, Douma, Tengen

AKAZA

Immediately tenses

#noice 😌😎 after all, the man is ripped

The more Akaza tenses, the more you wanna squish

Except, it’s kinda hard to squish pure, flexed muscle ?? 😔

“Akaza, my love, could you relax?” 🥺

He’s still confused, but my love automatically has him at your beck and call, so-

He relaxes

*gleeful squeal* 😍 *squish squish* 😍

Aaand he’s tensed again

If you actually take the time to explain yourself, then he’ll be absolutely embarrassed flattered

Lowkey decides to do an extra 100 push ups daily, just bc he’s so darn in love w/ you 😭

DOUMA

Douma’s been waiting all his life for you to grab his moobs

So like

He’s one happy camper !!!!! 😌🥳

“all his life” = since he met you

As for “moobs”? I had to, just once 😃

Slowly flexes them so he can hear your amazed gasp 😍

“Are you drooling?” he smirks

“Fuck off,” you scowl

You try to withdraw your hands to wipe away your incriminating drool 😒🤤

But he doesn’t let you 🤪

He squeezes your wrists, grinning widely to himself, “Don’t leave me.” 😇

“But I’m done,” you grumble, resting your forehead between his shoulder blades (you’ve already accepted your fate 🤠)

“I’m not,” he retorts, “Not even close.” 🤗

Translation? Douma wants you to massage his pectorals

#pretty pls and ty

MUZAN

Once again, I’m presuming you’re a demon, and Muzan’s immediate reaction is to slice off your hands 💀

Thank gosh for regeneration! 😮‍💨

You’ve gotta quit surprising him 🤪

I mean

Yeah

He enjoys when you touch him 😅

BUT, he has a reputation to uphold, and being startled by your random displays of physical attention doesn’t exactly help 🙃

The implication that he lets his guard down w/ you (bc how else could you ever hope to genuinely startle him?) is making me feel things 😭

“Do that again, and I won’t be so forgiving.”

The faint dip between his brows has you thinking otherwise 🤭

“What if I ask first?” 😉

You’re treading on thin ice 😬

His eyes flash, “Pardon?”

Good thing he’s close to cracking too 😌

“If I ask to touch you?”

I’ll kill you “You wouldn’t.”

WeLp

He didn’t say No 🤗

(obvi consent’s a must, but in this specific context mutual flirtation’s strongly implied and also it’s literally Muzan)

“Oh!” <— Kyojuro exclaims, cheerful as ever ☺️

“Hello there,” he chuckles, smiling at the feeling of your body pressed against his back, “Are you checking something?”

“Mhm,” you grin, “They’re still here!” 😇

“My pectorals?” his head tilts, “Of course they are?!”

He’s ~a little oblivious, okay? 😃

“How about you hug me from the front?” he suggests gently, “That way I get to hug you too!”

😭😭😭

He’s so precious

How could you refuse?????

Spoiler alert: you can’t

GIVE THE MAN HIS HUG 🥺❤️‍🔥

Spoiler alert: you give Kyojuro his hug, and it is very cozy 🥰

A tad sweaty + suffocating, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world 🥺

Shocked 😵‍💫

Giyuu’s inner monologue: ????? What? Is? This?

Giyuu’s outer dialogue: *still as stone*

“Giyuu?” you immediately remove your hands, scurrying to his front side, head tilted w/ concern, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfort-” 😕

“You didn’t,” he interrupts quietly, finally grasping his bearings, “It was…” aaand now he’s blushing, “... nice.” 🥺☺️

Your nose scrunches, relief relaxing your shoulders as you nod sheepishly, “I’m glad I didn’t freak you out too much.”

“Mhm,” he smiles reassuringly, “You freaked me out,” gently guiding your palms back to his chest, “But not too much,” winking shyly at you, “The perfect amount, in fact.”

HELP !!!!! CAN YOU JUST CAN I  FWIBEIUVLNSOUEJGBWO;GNS

Suave, sexy, knows-what-he-wants, isn’t-afraid-to-tell-you, will-even-go-after-it-himself Giyuu has entered the chat

AnD I AM HERE FOR IT 😭😭😭💘

LOUD LAUGHTER

You can feel it through his tiddies 😆

“Envious, my dear?” 😉

Okay

Presumptuous much? 😒

But alllso 🙄

“If you could share…” you pout, “Gimme just a lil?” 🤗

“You’re welcome to work out with me,” he chuckles fondly, flexing for you, “These could totally be yours!”

You sigh, “Tengen, pectorals and breasts aren’t the same thing.”

“I know that,” he shrugs, patting your knuckles reassuringly, “Your breasts are perfect, and I’m happy to coach you and your pectorals if you so desire.”

You decide to test the waters 🌊

“What if my pectorals get bigger than yours?” 😏

Tengen immediately drowns you 🌊💀

“Not a chance.” 😐

And then he tacks on, a tad nicer, “But you could certainly get very big pectorals.” ☺️

“Just not bigger than yours,” you grin 😏

He nods grimly, “My ego would pop.” 😔

“And that would be tragic.” ☹️

“Indeed,” he squeezes your hands (which remain splayed across his chest), still basking in your touch, “I appreciate your understanding.” 😖🥰

(fyi, if your pectorals did get bigger than Tengen’s, then he’d: survive, be super proud of you, and beg to know your workout regimen)

[nouvellevqgue]

✦ THE KETCHUP THEORY, C. LECLERC

will he pass the tiktok trend?

“chaaaarleeesss! come here, hurry up!” you shout, calling his name loudly in the house's kitchen counter. smirking slightly at the hidden camera in front of you, recording your actions in front of the tiny camera that you hide behind the various flowers.

a hushed footsteps could be heard from the downstairs as he walked as fast as he can to reach out to you, “what, babe? what happened?” he asked hurriedly. his brows furrowed and his face showed concern. but it only turned to frown at the sight of you looking at him, smirking, with a splatter of a messy smashed package of heinz ketchup in the counter.

he sighed when he saw the mess of the ketchup beside you, “oh my god, who did this?” he said, voice shrieking at the end, and resulting you to laugh at his behavior.

“mimi did that!” you accused, making the poor dog whimper in results. “i don't believe mimi did that. she's a good girl, aren't you mimi.” he said, turning around as he ruffles her fur, making her bark at him softly.

you can only smile slightly at the sight of your boyfriend with his beloved dog.

“so, can you clean the ketchup?” you asked, and he dramatically turned his head at you, making you laugh loudly at the sight.

“what, why?”

“my nails, it's still wet.” you said, showing him your new color of your nails, a deep shade of a crimson colored it.

“are you sure it's mimi?” he's still insisted on asking you that, as if he didn't believe to your saying. “it could be jack...” he mumbles.

“hey, jack would never!” you replied, leaving you and him to debate on which dog actually leave the ketchup mess. literally forgetting about the camera and the plan that you've been making for your tiktok.

but in the end, he gave in and immediately took a tissue from next to the sink and rolled it into a fairly thick roll of tissue.

he also wiped the roll of tissue on the spilled ketchup, causing the spilled ketchup to become even more messy.

you gasped when he did that, and you're immediately taking the tissue from his hand.

“oh gosh, what are you doing!” and now it's your turn to shriek at the sight of his cleaning technique, and there's charles with his face looking quite startled as you were taking the tissue out of his hand quickly.

“that is how i clean!”

“well, that is not clean, cha.”

the video ended and just like that, the trend has been proven by himself and the tiny camera you hide.

Y/N'S TIKTOK COMMENTS SECTION

justamelie12 NOOOO HE'S THAT ONE MAN WHO RUB IT ALL UP LIKE THAT

verstappendududu What am I expecting here tbh🤷🤦

sirhervemarc That typical rich man who said i could do it but in the end that they can't.

luisalando4ever i can feel her frustration from here😭😭

scrubdaddy you need some cleaning lesson to do, right yourusername?

janicekingston why is he like this💀

georgemergency the dog talk for that 10 seconds is kinda worth more than the actual content actually...

brisiaclair "that's how i clean" and that's gonna took him an eternity to finish.

[landograndprix]

「Feel the magic ๛ l.n」

part vii

✧.* you've finally secured your well deserved p1 after months of suffering with red bull and while you celebrate it the right way, love is in the air and everybody sees it now.

✧.* when i think about my muppets i think about this song, should i make like a playlist of songs that remind me of this fic, give y'all the vibes ive been having? 👀 spelling mistakes add character, don't mind them 🥰 this is a psa for the people who wanted to be on my taglist but never got tagged, i didn't forget or ignore you, I simply am unable to tag you and therefore removed you from the list feel free to ask me again so I can take a look at it. Taglist is open Love ya ❤️

✧.* prev part - next part

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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, milouberger and 453,789 others

y/nusername I'd like to thank my parents— p1 baby!🏆

tagged: mclaren

view all 742 comments

y/nloveee yes baaaaabbyyyyy 🤩🤩

norrizz one big fat fuck you to red bull!

adam_norris_pure_electric amazing race, amazing driver!🥇

carlandooo oh my gosh, I'm dead, Adam out here supporting his future daughter in law 😭

norry4 stop it 😭

ricky78 bring it home y/n!

natewhite this girls good, she should try racing in f1..

carlossainz55 well deserved! 🔥

chilisainz wish I had a supportive ex boyfriend 💀

y/nlandooo we're so back with our 1-2!

yourmomsuser super proud of you! 🥰

milouberger back where you belong!

hamilt44n girl, shut up..as if you didn't try to push her off the track halfway..🤨

redbullgirl come back please, perez is a joke 😢

landonorris that's my girlfriend 😍

bott_ass we were aware 😂

landonorris you got any plans tonight? wanna celebrate?

landosmclaren HOWLING ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED

maxfewtrell mega race 🙌

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landonorris posted on their story

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cecilemoulin posted to their story

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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, riabish and 689,872 others

y/nusername ending an amazing weekend with my favorite lil' guy 🧡

tagged: landonorris

view all 878 comments

norrizz honestly such a power couple!!

sharl16 oh they in love love huh?

bott_ass not the after sex selfie 😭

bananaclerc I was looking for this comment 😭

y/nlando y/n's finally showing more of her and lando on here 🥺

mrsnorris 🤮 get someone your own age 🤮

cecilemoulin I just know y'all were late because you've been watching tiktok's in bed all morning..

y/nusername Cecile thirst trap edits go hard

carlandooo y'all think y/n finally realised she likes this man? Seemed pretty one sided to me for a hot minute 😂

ceciley/n I think Cecile said in an interview that THEY aren't used to dating younger dudes and that she felt out of place for the first few weeks..pretty sure she meant herself and y/n 😉

carlandooo CECILE IS DATING SOMEONE?

ceciley/n yeah..max fewtrell? Girl where have you been? 😂

carlandooo under a fucking rock apparently! Wow, these girls really said young, cute and british? Yes ma'am 🥰 so real of them

ceciley/n a couple of besties dating another couple of besties 😂

hamilt44n where are Carlos and Pierre now? You think they gave up? :')

landonorris favourite lil' muppet 🧡

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Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @glow-ish

Feel the magic taglist: @celesteblack08 @mrsmaybank13 @cha-hot @judesgfirl @roseseraj @kissesandmartinis @jpg3 @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @marialovesf1 @silkenthusiasts @luvrrish @laneyspaulding19 @emily-b @formula1bby @judespoisons @buckybarnessweetheart @strawberrychita @iifloweringnightsii @buendiabebeta @jjsprobablywrong @babyvinnie @mishaandthebrits @hockeyboysarehot

Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10

[kairoot]

OMGG the hickey prank hcs were so funny bge 😭😭😭 adding onto that anon,,,, u should do another tiktok prank thing with enha :0 like maybe the “hide my bfs here” or like a breakup prank, it’s up to u!!!!

“hide my bfs here” w. enha ₊˚★﹟

genre: fluff, crack

warnings: none really, jokes

requested: yes!

pairing: enha x gn!reader

author’s note: i will be doing both pranks (hide my bfs here & breakup prank) because i think they’re both so funny. the break up prank will be a separate post so be on the look out! also, once again, thank u guys so much for the feedback im glad my writing doesn’t suck as much as i thought it did and ppl actually enjoy it 😭🤍

ss ➜ “hide my bfs here” prank on enhypen

heeseung ˚⋆ ✦

probably ponders on it

like wait what..

no like he’ll sit there for a good minute 😭

and then be like “wait im your..”

poor baby, give him a few moments

you and heeseung sat in your shared bedroom while he gamed. you were on the bed, waiting to catch him off guard.

he would talk to you whenever his friends would step away from their mic for a bit and then get back to talking with them so his attention on you was like 50-50. he was paying attention, but not enough to know the prank you were about to pull on him.

“hee,” you called his name, loud enough for him to hear.

he finished what he was saying to one of his friends and glanced back at you, “yeah, baby? what’s up?”

“you gotta hide, my bfs here.” you said in an urgent voice, causing him to halt his actions on his game. he sat in his chair, taking in what you said.

“but i’m your..-“ his thinking was cut short by your laughter. he realized what you were doing and only smiled before resuming his game.

“that’s embarrassing.”

jay ˚⋆ ✦

just might tell you to stfu 💀

nah but he’ll definitely look at you like “literally what are you talking about”

can only ignore you at that point

does not think you’re funny 🗣️‼️

you stood in the kitchen, talking with jay while he made dinner. he was talking about his day until you turned your camera in and interrupted him.

jumping off of the countertop, you hurriedly grab jay’s arm. “jay, hide! my boyfriends’ here!”

he dropped the knife he was using to cut tomatoes and turned to look at you.

“y/n, are you sick?”

he stood there, eyeing you like you were crazy, “seriously, what is wrong with you..”

you were definitely gonna post his reaction 💀

jake ˚⋆ ✦

falls for it 100%

is scared for his life until he realizes

then he thinks it’s kind of funny

except for the heart attack you almost gave him

probably thinks about it for the rest of the day

jake was helping you get ready so you two could go out for the day. he sat on the edge of the bed, scrolling on his phone while he waited for you to show him the next outfit option.

“okay, how about this one?” you asked him, turning in the mirror to give him a view of what you had on.

he placed a hand on your waist, turning you the other way, “yeah, i love this on you.”

you thanked him, giving him a quick kiss before pulling away hurriedly with a worried expression.

“what? what’s wrong?” his expression mirroring yours.

“you have to hide, my boyfriend just got here!” you pushed him towards the closet.

he scrambled into the closet, closing the door behind him. you could hear his panicking from outside the door as he panted.

“oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh..” he mumbled. there was silence until you stood outside of the door, giggling.

“jake, oh my g- jake, you’re my boyfriend!” you crouched on the ground, holding your stomach.

the door to the closet slowly opened as a still-frightened jake poked his head out.

“oh yeah..” he murmured to himself. stepping out, he joined in on your laughter, feeling embarrassed.

“i got so scared, oh man!”

(we know jake 😞)

sunghoon ˚⋆ ✦

is just like jay

except he pays no attention to it

just stands there like🧍🏽‍♀️what

moral of the story is your pranks never work on him

you were cuddled up with hoon, the horror film playing on the screen in front of you. he wanted to watch it since it was so close to halloween.

his arm wrapped tightly around you since he knew you’d probably be easily terrified of the jumpscares.

while the movie continued to play and there were no scary parts, you decided to play a prank on hoon just to see if he would fall for it.

“sunghoon,” you leaned away from his chest, causing him to hum in response.

“you have to hide, my boyfriends’ coming.” you gently pushed his shoulder, trying to get him off the couch.

he turned his head to you, eyebrows furrowed, “y/n, if you’re bored or you don’t wanna watch the movie, the you don’t have to.” he ignored your “prank” and continued to watch the movie.

(welp🧍🏽‍♀️)

sunoo ˚⋆ ✦

is not falling for it

jay pt3

just stared at you tbh

will probably just walk away

you were sitting next to sunoo on the couch, pretending to be on the phone while watching tv. he scrolled on his as you ended the “conversation”.

“nunu, you have to hide. my boyfriends here.” you placed your phone on the couch, looking at him worriedly.

he brought his hand down, placing his phone in his lap. he looked over at you, furrowing his eyebrows.

“y/n, sometimes I wonder why I agreed to dating you..”

jungwon ˚⋆ ✦

freezes for a moment

and then he’s like

why are you like this

is deeply confused for a second

“jungwon, why are you in the kitchen?” you pace up to where he was leaving the pantry.

“uh.. snacks?” he quirked an eyebrow.

“you need to hide, my boyfriend is literally here.” it took jungwon a moment to realize what you said. his brows furrowed in confusion as he tilted his head at you.

“babe, what are you talking about?”

ni-ki ˚⋆ ✦

is annoyed

cause what are you even talking abt

he’s definitely gonna get you back

definitely doesn’t fall for it

your camera was on, capturing the moment you pushed ni-ki off the side of his bed.

“y/n, what the heck are you doing?!”

“ki, you have to hide, my boyfriends here!” you pointed the camera in his face, showing his pained expression.

“yeah, and he’s right here!” he groaned, pushing the phone away from him.

author’s note: apologies for this being so short esp the last 3, im not feeling well :)

taglist: @haechansbbg (message or comment to be added)

[staruus]

oh my gosh I can’t be the ONLY PERSON who hates when people mischaracterize Satoru. LIKE HES NOT A CHEATER WHERE DID PEOPLE GET THAT FROM?? 😭

I’d understand if it was just for the story or wtv, like I understand that. But to genuinely think he would cheat all the time is wild to me 💀

I js had to let this out guys 😞💔

[graceslcver]

all da ladies love leo valdez ! leo x daughter of poseidon!reader

｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ in which, leo has a crush on yet another girl that’s beyond his league, percy’s sister … and his friends flame him for not being able to confess his feelings!

— this is set in like… university ?? obviously jason doesn’t die…hope u enjoy my first ever fic on here!! might be ooc, soz🫐 also jeyna is a thing…. sorry not sorry!! 🤓😂 (it’s actually not even relevant to this story, but i thought i’d let u know…)

IMSG, “THE LOST HOES 🫤” July 4th, 2024

beauty queen

do yall ever wonder how it’s impossible to not pull hoes

like it sounds like a real SKILL issue

superman

who are you talking about, pipes?

beauty queen

who do u think I’m talking about???

the only mfo who doesn’t have a gf???

do NOT play dumb jason grace

latino elf

oh wow

talking shit in the gc is crazzyyy

superman

i wasn’t!

she was.

beauty queen

do not make me pull up our private messages

latino elf

i see how it is…..

😔 it’s always the bitches u think u can trust…

superman

ok

beauty queen

why is he the driest man alive

this why we didn’t last ong😭

latino elf

or maybe because ur lebanese ???

superman

she’s cherokee huh

wait is that supposed to say lesbian?

latino elf

isn’t that what it says…

beauty queen

💀💀

ok… anyway can we talk about the fact that leo has

been madly in love with y/n since like… forever???

latino elf

no thanks

didn’t ask

not true

lying on my name

superman

yeah yeah whatever helps you sleep at night

beauty queen

he’s down bad shhh

latino elf

OHHH GODDD 😭😭😔😔😔

ok so what if i like her shes so fine

and so nice and sooo mermaid 🧜‍♀️

beauty queen

she is very fine and very nice

and yes she’s very mermaid

superman

we all know he isn’t going to say

anything to her, though, right??

latino elf

hahaha 😂 wdym 😂

i’d tell her if percy weren’t her brother

superman

that didn’t stop you from trying to

flirt with MY sister though???????

latino elf

yeah that’s different tho

she COULDNT go out with me

beauty queen

not like she wanted to anyway

latino elf

gtfo

anyway i don’t plan on telling her that

i have any slight interest in her! 😎

superman

you should though

bet she likes you too

beauty queen

don’t feed into his delusions

superman

gosh pipes, pipe it down a notch

latino elf

fr listen to my bro ‼️

how would i even tell her dawggg

WHAT IF she rejects me 🤨 BOOM FRIENDSHIP GONE

superman

yeah i guess so

but yolo ???

latino elf

yolo my ass bro😒

superman

ok sorry for trying to help

beauty queen

this why she dont want u

latino elf

yeah nd thats why yo relationship was a LIE 🤣

superman

😐

beauty queen

🖕🏼

latino elf

lol ur mad

ok bye u guys are a snooze fest 😴

beauty queen

go talk to ur gf

latino elf

i will, beauty queen 🫡

IMSG, “Y/N 🦈” July 4th, 2024

leo 🛠️

hey hey mermaid

y/n 🦈

hi leo !

whats up :)

leo 🛠️

the sky duh

nothing much tho, just chilling in my dorm

u should totally pull up

y/n 🦈

we’ll see 🧐

i’m in the library rn

leo 🛠️

nerd alert ‼️

y/n 🦈

ok but when u fail our exams dont come crying

leo 🛠️

if it were math/science i would be resting peacefully

but no fr i did study, trust 🙏🏼

y/n 🦈

not that u needed it though

you’re smart enough

leo 🛠️

wowie thanks mermaid

da ladies wish they had my smarts

y/n 🦈

🤨🤨

leo 🛠️

sorry that came out SO wrong 😭

y/n 🦈

ok ok well pull up to the library

perhaps i need ur smarts

leo 🛠️

si señora

will be there in a few 😎

shark_girl • 2h

send message ♡ ➣

pipermstealer replied to your story

omg he wants uuu 😳😳🤣😂

shark_girl

why are u insane

😅😅😅

pipermstealer

i am not insane he wants u

what boy willingly wants to study w a girl

shark_girl

one that’s my friend???

pipermstealer

friend my ass bro

he wanna kiss u so bad…

matching usernames??? THE MAAAN WANTS UU 😭

shark_girl

be fr we’ve had them since we were

like fifteen 🙄🙄

pipermstealer

bro get out I’m actually DONE

u have to wake up queen 😭🙏🏼

IMESSAGE, PIPER & JASON July 5th, 2024

pipes 🌸

i am so SO DONE with yn

jason ⚡️

why

pipes 🌸

bc she’s convinced that leo don’t want her

jason ⚡️

i think its very obvious

do you think yn wants leo thats the real question

pipes 🌸

ABSOLUTELY ?????

she has extreme heart eyes for him

but she’s better at hiding it

jason ⚡️

wait are you being serious

NO WAY

NO WAY??

a girl out of his league actually wants him 🤨

piper 🌸

wait I thought u knew???

jason ⚡️

uhm no

she must be good at hiding it

piper 🌸

or boys are just dense

jason ⚡️

ok well…….

we have to get them together

cause I’m so tired of hearing leo ramble abt her

piper 🌸

ok well i’m tired of yn too

how do we get them together

jason ⚡️

uh I don’t know?????

now why would you think I know

aren’t YOU the daughter of aphrodite

maybe YOU should know 😒

pipes 🌸

someone’s mad

but i don’t know?

one of them has to say something eventually….

jason ⚡️

no way, leo would never… not too sure about yn though.

leo cares too much about their friendship

and he is convinced she only sees him as a friend

and he’s deathly afraid to ruin their friendship

pipes 🌸

why do we have dumb friends

why can’t THEY SEEEE

jason ⚡️

yeah it’s very annoying

man, maybe we shouldn’t interfere?

let them figure it out themselves

pipes 🌸

unless u want leo to date the first girl

who gives him the opportunity to date her,

i think we SHOULD interfere! not a lot just a tiny bit 🤏🏼

jason ⚡️

well i guess you have a point… but how?

pipes 🌸

OK hear me out fr

u share a dorm with leo, yeah?

he always leaves his phone unattended

go into twt and make sure he isnt logged into his private account

jason ⚡️

where is this headed

pipes 🌸

ok shut up

OK but make sure hes on the main

since he always talks about her on his priv

so if yn sees a tweet about her then

SHES GOTTA KNOW

jason ⚡️

FIRST OF ALL thats an invasion of privacy

SECOND OF ALL what if she doesn’t see it before

leo realizes that wasn’t tweeted on his private account

pipes 🌸

no she like stalks his twitter so she’ll see!

and uhm so what if it’s an invasion of privacy

he’ll thank us once he gets the girl of his dreams 🙄

jason ⚡️

ok then….

i’ll do it

but if this backfires i was not apart of it

pipes 🌸

yeah yeah whatever

i’ll take the blame

FIVE DAYS LATER, TWITTER!

IMSG, “THE LOST HOES 🫤” July 10th, 2024

latino elf

HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT

IM JUMPING OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF

it was so nice knowing u two

superman

don’t kys ur so sexy haha

what happened though

latino elf

i accidentally tweeted something

about yn.

on my main.

superman

hey man, maybe she didn’t see?

beauty queen

yeah she probably didn’t

latino elf

yeah u guys are RIGHT 😅

she DIDN’T SEE IT!!!

beauty queen

mhm

latino elf

you’re being oddly quiet…

beauty queen

sorry????? IM BUSY

latino elf

yeah huh

superman

you’re crazy

latino elf

oh my god i’m gonna throw up

my friend ship is over with her

she messaged meEEE

HELPPPP

superman

MESSAGE HER BACK???

GO GO GO GOOO BRO

latino elf

no i’m leaving her on delivered

beauty queen

i swear to gods if u don’t message her

jason and i WILL jump you 😭😭

superman

exactly!!

latino elf

it was so nice being her friend 🫤

beauty queen

BRO STFU AND READ HER MESSAGE???

latino elf

ok fine

bye…..

IMSG, “Y/N 🦈” July 10th, 2024

y/n 🦈

leo did u mean to tweet that?

leo 🛠️

tweet what 🤨

y/n 🦈

you know what I’m talking about

you’re not stupid

leo 🛠️

you’re crazy

i got hacked by

jason

y/n 🦈

you’re crazier for thinking I’d believe you

so… u did mean to?

leo 🛠️

i don’t want to ruin our friendship

please don’t let this ruin it

you’re my bestest friend

y/n 🦈

gosh let me talk

i thought you didn’t like me

so i never said anything…?

but i like you, leo. i really do

leo 🛠️

oh my god

are you serious

wait i’m going to your dorm

y/n 🦈

what??

Delivered

Leo looked at his phone for a good second and then left it on his bed, unattended. he ran to your residence hall— it didn’t matter to him that it was quite literally on the other side of campus. he needed to hear you say the words he had been waiting to hear since he was fifteen. he’d always had a slight crush on you, mostly off and on.

But during the summer, he had fallen for you even harder than he thought he could. he never thought that he could love someone as much as he loved you. anyway, he was practically dying as he ran to your dorm! his hair was disheveled, and he was panting a bit. he wasn’t sure if he was sweaty because he was nervous, or because he had just ran to get to your dorm.

He knocked on your door three times.

You jumped out of your bed. you felt like throwing up from how nervous you were. you quickly slid on your slippers, and looked in the mirror before you opened the door for him. (making the poor boy wait). you adjusted your hair, making sure it sat right.

You took a deep breath before opening the door. you almost didn’t, but a voice in your head was telling you that you’d be an idiot if you didn’t open the door. your hands gripped the doorknob, and then unlocked it. leo was practically dying because you were taking years to open the stupid door. you finally opened it, getting met by a disheveled-sweaty-flushed leo valdez.

“Hi.” he croaked out, his voice cracking slightly. he felt like he was on fire, literally. he wanted this to be over with! well, no, that’s a lie. he just wanted to be your boyfriend already.

“…Hi.” you answered, your voice was quiet. you had an awkward smile on your face. you were praying that you would just drown at this moment. you’d much rather enjoy that than this.

He cleared his throat, and finally spoke after a long minute of awkward silence. The two looked at each other “I really… really like you. I.. Uh.. You obviously know that already, but I wanna tell you in person?” he said, nodding along with his own words. his hands went to fumble with the hem of his shirt, anxiously waiting for your response.

“I really like you, too.” You replied. you didn’t feel as nervous as anymore when he started to talk. you felt your face getting hotter, and your smile getting bigger. he grinned at you like an idiot.

He thought that he was dreaming when you said you liked him. The start of something. “Really?” He asked, just wanting to hear you say it again. He couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. He thought never in a million years that you’d ever like him! You were totally out of his league. you were so awesome, so pretty, and so sweet.

You nodded again, rolling your eyes. “Yes, really.”

THREE MONTHS LATER… INSTAGRAM!

shark_girl

🎶 let the light in : lana del rey (feat. father john misty)

Liked by percysbeth, lava_boy, pipermstealer, and 122 others

shark_girl happy three million years with my boy!!! i love u so so so much leo 🫶🏼🫶🏼

tagged: lava_boy

View all 16 comments

lava_boy who is that sexy man in the 2nd slide

→ shark_girl idk i found him at the store……

lava_boy we’re literally like this 🤞🏼👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

lava_boy te quiero !!

→ shark_girl 🤍🤍

lava_boy ugh why do we literally solo everyone in new rome

→ shark_girl ntm on percabeth !!!!

→ percysbeth 🫡🫡

pipermstealer yeah you’re welcome 🥱

→ supermantaylorsversion i did all the work

→ pipermstealer i gave u the idea

→ lava_boy thank u jason 😒 thank u piper 🙄

→ pipermstealer i hope she leaves u

→ shark_girl woah guys no need to say that

percysbeth i support 🤫 (pls cook for me leo)

→ lava_boy on it 😎

lava_boy

🎶 ivy : frank ocean

Liked by supermantaylorsversion, shark_girl, and 98 others

lava_boy I would like to thank poseidon for being a father to my wonderful girlfriend of THREE DECADES 😎

tagged: shark_girl

View all 19 comments

shark_girl I THOUGHT THAT I WAS DREAMIN’ WHEN U SAID U LOVEEEE MEEE 😭😭😭

→ lava_boy the start of nothin 🦈

shark_girl i’m taylor lautner

→ lava_boy FORREAL

shark_girl hi bf 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

→ lava_boy hello girlfriend.

→ shark_girl 😭😭😭

pipermstealer no because you guys are actually cute

→ lava_boy ACTUALLY cute 🤨

→ pipermstealer what do u want me to say yall are actually ugly

→ shark_girl pipe it down a notch 😔

supermantaylorsversion he’s a romantic now

→ lava_boy erm i’ve always been one get out 🤓

percysbeth no cause yn has actually dressed up as a shark

→ lava_boy send pics or it didn’t happen

→ percysbeth check imsg

→ shark_girl i thought that was PRIVATE

→ lava_boy LMFAOO U LOOKED SO GOOFY

→ shark_girl you’re done….

｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ hello….. first smau done 😎 hopefully u really like this bc i died ten times whilst making it !!! uhmm pls lmk what you thought about it 🥲!!! i was sort of rushing at the end, so umm.. shhh 🤫…. @thelostheroo @amoosarte

also i will have a master list soon….???? (hopefully) and my requests are OPEN! so, plsplsplspls request…. con amor, mo!

[vminizzle]

Body chain

pairing : husband idol!jungkook x f.reader

genre : smut, fluff

warnings : making out, oral (f. receiving), teasing, penetration, unprotected sex, pet names, praising, marking, size kink, creampie

words count : 1.3k

A/N : honestly, I think it’s the worst thing I ever wrote 💀. BUT DAMN, my obsession with body chains ughh,, Jungkook looks so good with body chain gosh. I want him. And I really need some help for sure. OH BEFORE I FORGOT! thank you so much for 1k 😭 I LOVE Y’ALL!! -sunny

M RATED

Jungkook took his shirt off, throwing it on the carpeted floor revealing his well-built body.

Bending down to capture your lips in a loving kiss, he caressing your cheek gently before looking down at your flustered face.

“you’re so pretty like that, under me.” he whispered, a smile decorating his lips.

Jungkook just came back from his performance practice feeling a bit needy. He missed you all day and he couldn’t wait to come home to you.

He kneeled between your bare legs, about to take off the shiny body chain adorning his body as you gripped his wrist stopping him.

He looked down at you confused. “keep the chain.” you said, lust already fogging your mind.

"please?”

"If that’s what you want. ” he smirked.

The silver accessory complimented his smooth skin so damn well, he was just breathtaking.

Just something so simple could turn you on.

You grazed your fingertips over it slowly as Jungkook observed your fascinated face.

"do you want one?” he grinned wiggling his eyebrows to tease you.

“oh shut up.” you slapped his chest playfully.

He laughed before holding your hands.

“I’ll let you wear it later, I’m sure it’ll suit you so well.” he bit his lip picturing your bare body with the chain on.

You sat up, wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him closer, “c’mere.” you kissed his cheek.

His arms encircled you immediately as he laid you down hovering above you.

He caressed your sides, fingers playing with the waistband of you panties looking at you for consent.

“go on.”

His soft lips wandered on your neck, goosebumps raising as he kissed his way down your body, his hands worked on pulling your panties off your legs.

He sucked lightly on the skin of your lower stomach leaving a pretty mark there making you bite your bottom lip, the sensation down there waking butterflies up inside you.

Jungkook spread your legs, laying down on his stomach as he stared at your glistening lips.

“all of this because of me.” he left a light kiss on your core making you whimper.

“so sensitive.”

Jungkook placed one of your leg over his broad shoulder, hand gripping it tightly.

He bit on the inside of your thigh slightly leaving love bites, pecking them gently as he got closer to where you needed him the most.

He looked up at you one last time before diving in, head disappearing in between your legs.

He kitten licked your throbbing clit making you moan, his name leaving your mouth as sweet as honey.

His tongue flat on your fold as he inserted the tip inside you making you gripped the sheet as he push in deeper before pulling out to suck on your clit making you cry out his name.

“Jungkook oh my- it feels so good! Don’t stop fu-”

He did as told making you feel dizzy your climax so near.

Nibbling gently on your clit, it was the last straw as you came, moaning his name loudly chest heaving up and down.

Jungkook pulled away watching you in awe, his chin covered with your essence.

He caressed your thigh softly to soother you down a bit.

“you good baby?” you nodded before pulling on his loose chain gently to get him down on you.

“you like it that much, huh?” he looked down at your fingers still on the bright accessory.

“yes a lot.” you admitted.

Jungkook impatiently stripped off quickly, boxer discarded somewhere on the floor, making you get rid of your bra, before he positioned himself between your legs.

He teased your entrance with the tip of his cock making you whined “Jungkook please”.

He looked down at you, tilting his head to the side smirking.

“you’re ready pretty?” he rubbed his erection teasingly between your glistening fold.

Hand gripping the back of his neck, you pulled him down for an another slow kiss.

"i want you..hurry!”

Jungkook hooked your leg around his hip as he slowly entered you. The stretch painful yet pleasurable.

"can I move darling?” you nodded, your hands going up to his broad shoulders.

He started thrusting into you carefully, slowly enjoying the sensual moment.

The atmosphere was so warm, your surroundings gradually disappearing more and more as you both focus on each other.

Jungkook groaned as he felt your warm velvety walls clench around him.

“you feel so good around me love. so warm fuck.. you’re taking me so well, such a good girl.” he moaned into your ear, his voice low yet so sweet turning you on even more.

You could feel a tickling sensation, the cold silver accessory stroking the soft skin of you stomach everytime Jungkook’s hips snap into yours.

You moaned at the new sensation clenching around him involuntary.

Your body was really sensitive and reactive.

One of your hand flew to his hair, the other one travelling to his lower back, fingers fumbling with the chain.

Jungkook hummed against your throat.

You bit his earlobe a bit hard as the chain grazed over your nipple making you clench around him.

“you weren’t lying when you said you liked it huh. You give it more attention than me.” he teased, eyebrows furrowed the pleasure consuming him more and more.

"stop saying nonsense.” you sucked on his jawline softly making him groan at the warm feeling of your tongue caressing the skin.

You chuckled as he kiss his way down your chest, sucking little marks on the valley of your breasts.

You pulled at his black hair when he suddenly hit your sweet spot.

"yes right there!” you threw your head back.

Jungkook shifted himself a bit so he could hit deeper.

“shit baby you’re so- so tight.” he moaned as you tightened around him again.

He looked deeply into your eyes.

"you feel so good baby.. so fucking good.” he kissed your lips, sucking on your bottom lip making you scratched his back when you felt his hand on your stomach pressing on the bulge in your lower stomach.

"look at you.. so small we can see my cock.” he said with a deep voice, making you looked down between your bodies.

His words made goosebumps raised on your skin.

“Jungkook.. I’m so close.” you said breathless.

He gave gentle thrusts, abusing your g-spot, tears forming in your eyes.

“Me too. I’m gonna- fuck!" Jungkook cursed his face twisting into pleasure.

His nose scrunched up in pleasure, a sensual groan left his throat as he came inside you, the feeling of his hot cum filling you up to the brim pushing you to the edge of your own release.

"cum for me princess.” he said rubbing little circles on your throbbing clit making your walls convulsed around him.

You threw your head back deep into the pillows moaning his name loudly, a tear sliding down your cheek the pleasure too hard to handle, as you came around him.

Jungkook rocked his hips slowly, riding out your highs, before finally pulling out, his warm cum slowly oozing out of you.

“I love you.” Jungkook kissed your temple, laying next to you.

“I love you.” you said softly.

He pulled you closer to him and place your head on his chest.

He caressed your hair gently, your hand sliding down his stomach to the body chain toying with it.

Jungkook chuckled before sitting up.

"what is it?” you asked confused.

He took off the accessory turning you to the side so he could put it on you.

“so ..pretty.” he licked his lips, eyes twinkling.

“it suits you better tho.” you pouted.

He shook his head in disapproval before hugging you tightly.

"shh.” he put the blanket over the both of you.

“you should wear it more often.. you’re so sexy with it.” you cuddled him kissing his cheek.

“if it turns you on that much ..then I’ll wear it everyday.” he smirked making you roll your eyes.

—

A/N : i feel like this fic was weird written 💀