#but now with that sort of “ohh but i bet you're getting off on this aren't you” side-eyeing i've gotten in the past (💀🪦⚰️)

[sickosdotjpg]

on the one hand i think i'd rather die before telling anyone in my non-kink-blog life about the fet ever again. on the other i am Definitely going to die if i have to experience my (non-snzfucker) friends hitting up my DMs telling me how sneezy they are 💀💀💀💀💀

[eggedbellies]

Hucow transformation

Can't think of a setup but like,  get some sort of fucking machine for people with dicks, one they can fuck.  Put a note that says "all yours, just undress ; )", an anon sees this,  and against their better judgment pulls their pants down and gives it a try.  But the room has been filled with an Aphrodisiac gas,  so they fuck the machine, too distracted by the metal arms coming in.  Milking cups attach to their nipples,  and start to suck,  trying to get any milk but no luck.  a hose falls from the ceiling and dangles in front of them,  just ready for sucking.  They look so happy,  their dick being pumped,  their nipples pumped,  and a nice milky liquid being drank. 

A screen turns on,  just a simple spiral,  with the words "Be a good cow" shown.  Cow-related phrases from speakers,  from simple "be enjoyed to be milked" and "it feels good to moo".  Oh, the poor anon already repeating it,  and the changes are already forming.  You see their chest growing,  little by little with each pump,  the little horns forming on top of their head.  My my,  their expanding figure down below is certainly a site to behold,  what you should do for hips and ass like that. Not to mention the cute little tail,  so happily waggling. I wonder what else you added,  but you're the mad scientist here.

Look at them,  such a milky cow,  mooing happily along,  with such big breasts and a trunk to boot.  Now for just a test,  as little robotic arms come from the room,  their ends replaced by some nice dildos,  just to test their mouth and asshole,  oh how happily they mooed,  honestly part of you wanted to join them,  but when you have all the cows you could ever want maybe you'll take a turn. 

You finally turn off the machines,  letting the cow free to wander the room.  Such a cute cow,  and even more,  their hanging cock dangles there,  much bigger than when they first came in.  Oh, they look so cute,  mooing on the ground, and playing with their new body,  you just have to go in there and pet them. 

If only you forgot to purge the room of its Aphrodisiac because when you opened the door you were suddenly hit with it,  coughing as you leaned on a wall,  feeling its effects take over.  You have to get out,  your cow is infectious,  meant to start your plan to take over the world.  But as you turn to leave,  you run face-first into the cow,  their boobs meeting with your mouth,  splashing a bit of milk.  Oh, they hugged you,  making sure you couldn't escape,  your face in the temptation of their milky teat.  Their cock pressing right against your needy hole,  pushing against it as erected. 

Will you resist the temptation,  to drink from them and fuck, oh they're such a cutie making sure you're safe and sound hugged against their body,  come on,  a simple drink won't be dangerous? 

Ohh noooo what a shaaaame I bet we wouldn't be two great milky cows ready for breeeding in a room full of aphrodisiaaaac

[themuseinthewoods]

Incorrect Troy 2004 quotes because the generator gave me to much power. features y/n. in which everyone inexplicably talks to each other and gets along because I need to laugh, multiple different shipping of y/n x Troy charecters

Odysseus: So what’s the plan? Y/N: I don’t know. You’re smart, points at Achilles they’re mean, come up with something.

Y/N: sighs Paris: You bored? Y/N: Yeah. Paris: Wanna start drama for no reason? Y/N: I thought you’d never ask.

Patroclus: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like… a lawyer to you. Ok? Paris: Okay. later Hector: Paris! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Patroclus, whispering: Deny everything. Paris, loudly: That isn't a chair.

Y/N: So, Odysseus is late today. Anyone wanna bet why? Y/N: I say they slipped through the subway grate and is having terrible sex with the mole man. Paris: I don't know about that…I think either their alarm clock didn't go off, or they're in line at the bank. Hector: Take this more seriously! Odysseus was clearly taken in their sleep! Patroclus: I bet they tucked themselves into the bed too tightly and got stuck. Achilles: Maybe they fell into another dimension where they're more interesting…? Odysseus arrives Odysseus: Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank. Paris, clapping their hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!

Hector: Y/N kissed me! Achilles: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Hector: It was unbelievable! Achilles: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Odysseus: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Achilles, get the wine and unplug the phone. Hector, does this end well or do we need tissues? Hector: Oh, it ended very well. Achilles: Do not start without me! Do not start without me! Odysseus: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing? Hector: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it. Odysseus: Ohh… So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back? Hector: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair. Achilles and Odysseus: Ohhh. meanwhile Y/N eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them. Paris: Tongue? Y/N: Yeah. Patroclus: Cool.

Hector: Just be yourself. Achilles: Really? Hector, I have one day to win over Y/N’s parents. Achilles: How long did it take for you guys to like me? Odysseus: Couple of weeks. Patroclus: Six months. Paris: Jury’s still out. Achilles: See Hector? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!

Y/N: Achilles is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do? Hector: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them. Paris: Tackle them! Patroclus: Dump them. Odysseus: Kick them in the shin! Achilles: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

Odysseus: A mouse! Patroclus, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. Hector, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! Paris, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. Achilles, gasping: It's Ratatouille! Y/N: His name is Remi, dummy. Odysseus: …I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window… what is wrong with you people.

Odysseus, driving and singing to the Little Einsteins theme song: We’re going on a trip- Y/N: In our favorite piece of shit! Patroclus: Doing 95! Achilles: We’re gonna fucking die!

Y/N: ARE YOU- Patroclus: Fucking. Y/N: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Patroclus: Fucking. Y/N: IDIOT! Achilles: …What was that? Patroclus: Odysseus banned Y/N from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

Hector: Where’s Achilles? Y/N: Around. Hector: Around? Hector: You don’t have any idea, do you? Achilles, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

Andromache, to Y/N: You drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable. Y/N: … Andromache: You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend.

Helen: You’re drunk. Y/N: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Helen.

Y/N: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. Helen: Y/N: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? Helen: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

Y/N: Hey. Briseis: Hey? Y/N: I can't sleep. :/ Briseis: I can. Goodnight.

Helen: very seriously You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help. Y/N: I went to the park today. Helen: There you go! I hope you got something from that. Y/N: opening their coat This duck.

Y/N: Oh, fiddlesticks. Andromache: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Patroclus: My favorite thing about big dogs is that when you push them over, they're all like "Oh, I'm lying down now! Someone might scratch my stomach! I might nap! Endless possibilities!" Y/N: …whereas, when you push little dogs over, they're all like, "Vengeance! Death before dishonor!"

Y/N: makes Achilles a cup of tea but puts salt in it Achilles: sips tea Y/N: Achilles: finishes tea Y/N: Didn't it taste bad? Achilles: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all. Y/N, tearing up: Oh, okay.

Y/N: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. Hector: What did you do Y/N? Y/N: a Mistake.

Andromache: What the hell is wrong with you? Y/N: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

Y/N, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy. Patroclus: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Hector: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Patroclus: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Hector: Not when you’re playing with Odyessus, it’s not. They put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

[missamyrisa2]

I remember a post from a while ago talking about boymode and how you kinda differ with your lee/ler side in comparison to how you normally write. How often is boymode vs girlmode if you don't mind me asking?

I love how our amazing Amy writes but that boymode does something fuzzy to my lee/ler switchy brain 😵‍💫

- a subby trans guy that would love to see more boy mode posts? 🐶

Sooooo~

I've been sort of slyly slipping my boy mode in a little more lately ~ especially on any of my stories with "alex". That's meeee ~!

But yes, any time there's a lot less "~"s and hearts and the looooong drawn out teases that would be me leaning a little more towards boy mode. I'm much more direct and a bit of a butt with all my matter of fact comments and hustling up the giggles. I also curse a lot more when I lean in that direction.

More like...

Alright look at this right here. You see what I have here? I have one-two-three-four-holy shit I have five! Five wiggly fingers buddy, and guess what? They're coming for you! Not for that guy down the road, not that punk around the corner. There's five tickles and your name is on every single one. Yeah, and now you're wiggling! Because you're ticklish. And I know, I know you're gonna try and wriggle free aren't ya, oh yeah just like that. Problem is, you're ticklish just about everywhere. Oh yes, I know. I know you're ticklish under your arms and I can wiggle these fingers up in there right up in here. Don't try to fight it. Don't run! That's just gonna make it worse.

Ohh but you like it worse my giggly gigglebox boy don't ya? You're a giggleglutton, I know them when I see them and ah yeah those are the squeaks, that's the good stuff now. What else you got? Let's see what we have down here my toyboy, I see some siiiiides. Yep, two sides and look. Look, look, look! I have two hands! That's twice the tickles. Twice the tickles for you when I squeeze up and down your sides. Two for one! Lucky boy with a hot body uh huh that's what we've got here. So ticklish, so hot. Coochie coo!

And you're gonna wrestle me now? Alright, bring it on hot stuff. Let's see how tough you are. Come on tough guy, kick me off. Let's get those legs pumping. We'll call it your workout for today. I'm certified in leg day after all. Oh no. What happened here? What happened huh? Do I have your ankle? Is that what happened? I'm just not sure, can you give me a play by play? An instant replay? Because, and I'm not an expert I just want that known, I do believe I have your wrist and now my wiggly fingers are coming down for them toes. And it looks liiiiike, yep, we've got scrunchers! You can scrunch all ya like tough guy, it's still gonna tickle!

I mean, it's fine. This is all I know how to do anyway, one fist in the air in victory over a ticklish tough guy who is not so tuff. Not so tuff! Maybe you're gruff. Wannabe gruff huh? Yep, ticklish toes. Just like I thought. And I'll bet you have a ticklish boy button too don't ya? Ah yeah, so tough, gonna growl it out for me? Now, if you would juuuust cooperate with me. Yep, let's get this leg here under mine and yeap, goochie goo on your belly. Right on that navel. Let's get a finger up in there and oh yeah, that's a spot. There's a spot. There's a good tough cookie. Giggle it out. And here's a feather. Yep, I've got a feather just for you. Not too tough for a feather now are ya my giggleboy?

And we're just gonna take mr feather here and go up and down that cute boy button and ah we'll just see what sounds tumble out those cute lips. You're so sexy and handsome like this, all wiggly and blushing and gasping. I don't think I can stop tickling. Nope, we're not stoppin the tickling. It's an all nighter tough guy, an all-night giggle cram and extract and I think I'll just keep you forever. Sorry-not-sorry-coochie-coochie!!

[spencermorgans]

Incorrect Quote Generator IV

I must be stopped

Everyone is giving advice to Spencer JJ: It's okay to ask for help. Derek: You're not a burden. Hotch : Murder is okay. Rossi: Your feelings matter.

-

Rossi: Spencer's refusing to wear their glasses! Spencer: Rossi, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch. Spencer: points to Derek Derek. Spencer: points to JJ JJ. Spencer: *points to Hotch * Sasquatch.

-

Hotch : Mice are having sex in my walls. Spencer: Tattletale! JJ: You're just being ungrateful. Derek: It's their home too, you know. Rossi: So what? Don't slutshame them. Hotch : The mice are fucking AND now I'm getting heckled.

-

Rossi: Who the fuck broke the toaster? Derek: It was Spencer. JJ: It was Spencer. Hotch : Spencer broke it. Spencer: Spencer: …yOU PROMISED-

-

JJ: Christmas lights? Derek: Check. Hotch : Thermos of hot cocoa? Derek: Check. Spencer: Santa suits? Derek: Check. Emily: Shovel? Derek: Check. Rossi: Alibi and bail money? Derek: Check- wait, WHAT?!

-

Rossi: Hey, I was wondering, have any of you guys ever seen Spencer’s bedroom? Emily: No, they refuse to let any of us visit. You know what that means. Derek, nodding: Dungeon. Hotch , nodding: Rich. JJ, nodding: Homeless. Rossi, nodding: Secretly in the mafia. Emily: What? No, I meant they’re messy. What the hell is wrong with all of you?

-

Spencer: Derek kissed me! Emily: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Spencer: It was unbelievable! Emily: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! JJ: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Emily, get the wine and unplug the phone. Spencer, does this end well or do we need tissues? Spencer: Oh, it ended very well. Emily: Do not start without me! Do not start without me! JJ: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing? Spencer: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it. JJ: Ohh… So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back? Spencer: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair. Emily and JJ: Ohhh. meanwhile Derek eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them. Hotch : Tongue? Derek: Yeah. Rossi: Cool.

-

Derek: So, Hotch is late today. Anyone wanna bet why? Derek: I say they slipped through the subway grate and is having terrible sex with the mole man. Rossi: I don't know about that…I think either their alarm clock didn't go off, or they're in line at the bank. Spencer: Take this more seriously! Hotch was clearly taken in their sleep! JJ: I bet they tucked themselves into the bed too tightly and got stuck. Emily: Maybe they fell into another dimension where they're more interesting…? Hotch arrives Hotch : Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank. Rossi, clapping their hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!

-

Penelope, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Derek : Yeah, sure. A few minutes later Derek : Here you go. Penelope: Derek : Spencer: Why am I here?

-

Penelope: Guess what number I’m thinking of. Spencer: 420? Penelope: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously. Derek : 69. Penelope: Yeah it was 69.

-

Penelope: Go and tell Derek why you insisted on putting a normal-sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots. Spencer: Penelope: Do it, tell them what you told me earlier. Spencer, stuttering: I-it's because… th-they need adult supervision… Derek :

-

Spencer: is wearing silk pants How does this look? Derek : Like its slips on and off really easily. Spencer: Derek : No, I didn't mean it like that- Penelope: We know what you meant.

-

Everyone is playing a board game together Rossi : I will put 'A' down to make 'A'. Derek: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'. Hotch: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'. Spencer: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'. Hotch: flips the board

-

The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword Hotch: Rude. Derek: That's fair. Rossi : Not again. Spencer: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

-

Derek: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess. Hotch: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to? Spencer: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit. Rossi : Guys.

-

Spencer: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Derek? Derek: Rossi , easily. Rossi , laughing: What the fuck, man. Derek: Well, Hotch would be too easy. They’d probably be into it. Hotch, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?

-

Derek: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. Rossi : Ridiculous. Give me some examples. Hotch: Wasps? Spencer: Terriers? Derek: Spencer.

-

[aspenmissing]

𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 (𝙿𝚝 𝟸)

Now morning, Sam is kneeling miserably in front of the toilet, his hair covering his face, and Y/N is behind him, rubbing his back. Dean enters and grins at the sight.

"How you feeling, Sammy?" Dean asks, loudly. Sam groans again. "I guess mixing whiskey and Jäger wasn't such a gangbuster idea, was it?"

"I'll bet you don't remember a thing from last night, do you?" Y/N asks, looking at him.

"Ohh, I can still taste the tequila," Sam says, groaning. Y/N chuckles, and Dean smiles in relief.

"You know, there's a really good hangover remedy -- it's a greasy pork sandwich served up in a dirty ashtray," Sam is heaving.

"Oh, I hate you."

"I know you do. Hey, turns out when Grandma Rose was a tyke, she had a Creole nanny who wore a hoodoo necklace," Dean's face scrunches at the smell. "Whoo. How can you take that?" Dean asks Y/N.

"Well, who do you think helped you when you got drunk off your ass?"

"So, you think she taught Rose hoodoo?" Sam says.

"Yes, I do."

"All right," Y/N says, and Sam stands painfully, with the help of Y/N. "I think it's time we talked to Rose, then." Dean grimaces.

"Oh. You can brush your teeth first."

==

Sam, Dean, and Y/N approach the door marked 'Private' and knock.

"Hello? Susan?" Dean looks around furtively.

"Clear?" Y/N asks.

"Mm-hmm." Y/N kneels before the door and picks the lock. The three enter the creepy doll room and go to the door in the back; it's open, and they go through to find a dimly lit staircase. They creep upstairs and to the end of another hallway, into a small room whose door is ajar. An old woman is seated in a wheelchair facing the rainy window, her back to them. They approach cautiously.

"Mrs. Thompson? Mrs. Thompson?" She is trembling, staring at nothing.

"Rose? Hi, Mrs. Thompson, we're not here to hurt you, it's okay-" Y/N says, but Rose does not respond, just trembles harder. "Rose?" then, quietly, "Guys." She draws Dean and Sam over to the side. "This woman's had a stroke."

"Yeah, but hoodoo's hands-on, I mean, you've got to mix herbs, and chant, and build an altar."

"Yeah. So, it can't be Rose. Hey, maybe it's not even hoodoo," Sam says.

"Or she could be faking."

"Yeah, what are you gonna do, poke her with a stick?" Y/N asks. Dean frowns, nodding. "Dude! You're not gonna poke her with a stick!" Susan enters.

"What the hell?! What are you doing in here?"

"Oh, we just wanted to talk to Rose…"

"Well, the door was open…"

"I wanted to say hello," The Winchesters say over each other.

"Look at her, she is scared out of her wits. I want you out of my hotel in two minutes or I'm calling the cops." They leave without hesitation. Minutes later the Impala rumbles out of the hotel parking lot.

The creepy wind blows, and Susan stares as the full-sized swing set also begins moving on its own. She approaches the playground cautiously; all the playsets are moving, and the car starts behind her. She lays a hand on the teeter-totter to stop it. Everything starts moving faster, and suddenly the car revs its engine and comes straight at her. At the last moment, Sam appears, tackling her out of the way.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks.

"I think so."

"Come on, come on. Let's get inside, let's go." They help her into the inn. The three guide Susan into the bar and to a table.

"Whiskey," Susan says.

"Sure. I know the feeling."

"What the hell happened out there?"

"You want the truth?" Y/N asks.

"Of course."

"Well, at first, we thought it was some sort of hoodoo curse, but that out there? That was definitely a spirit," Sam hands her a glass of whiskey.

"Here."

"You're insane."

"Yeah, it's been said," Dean says, looking to Y/N.

"Look, I'm sorry, Susan. We don't exactly have time to ease you into this, but we need to know when your mother had the stroke."

"What does that have to do with any-"

"Just answer the question."

"About a month ago."

"Right before the killings began," Y/N says. Sam turns to the two.

"See? So, what if Rose was working hoodoo, but not to hurt anyone. To protect them."

"She was using the five-spot urns to ward off the spirit."

"Right, until she had a stroke and she couldn't anymore."

"I don't believe this," Susan says.

"Listen, sister, that car didn't try to run you down by itself, okay? I mean, I guess it did, technically, but, but the spirit can- forget it," Sam interrupts him.

"Look, believe what you want. But the fact is you and your family are in danger, all right? So, you need to clear everybody out of here: your employees, your mother, your daughters, everyone," Y/N says.

"Um, I only have one daughter," Sam, Dean, and Y/N share a look of confusion.

"One?"

"I thought Tyler had a sister named Maggie."

"Maggie's imaginary."

"Where's Tyler?"

==

Later, Susan leads Sam and Dean up to the playroom.

"Tyler!" They go into the room; the floor is littered with broken dolls. Susan starts to panic. "Oh my god. Tyler." She runs out of the room. "Tyler!" she comes back in. "She's not here."

"Susan. Tell us what you know about Maggie."

"Uh, not much. Um, Tyler's been talking about her since Mom got sick."

"Okay, did you ever know anyone by that name?" Y/N asks.

"Uh, no..."

"Think, think, I mean, somebody that could have lived here, might have passed away," Dean says.

"Oh my god. My mom. My mom had a sister named Margaret. She barely spoke about her."

"Did Margaret happen to die here when she was a kid?"

"She drowned in the pool."

"Come on." The four run through the gardens to the pool house; they reach the door and pound on it. It's locked tight, and Sam, Dean, and Y/N start pounding at the glass to break it.

"Tyler!" More pounding. "Tyler!"

"Mommy!" Tyler shouts. Maggie grabs her wrist and pulls her forward; she falls into the pool with a scream.

"Is there another entrance?"

"All right, let's go." Dean turns to face Y/N. "Keep working." As they run around the building, Y/N continues to pound at the door; she looks back and sees a large potted plant. She pulls the plant out, picks up the heavy pot, and starts pounding the door with it. Inside, Tyler flounders in the water, coming up for a second; Maggie pushes her head down. Dean and Sam approach the back door, and Sam holds Susan aside.

"Stand back." He front-kicks the door, twice, but it hardly budges. "Son of a bitch!"

"Let me try." Sam also kicks the door, twice, but once again, it doesn't budge. As Maggie holds Tyler's head under the water, a wavering voice calls from above.

"Margaret. Margaret!" Y/N finally breaks through the glass and wriggles through the opening. Without hesitation, she leaps over the railing and into the pool. She pushes past the plastic covering the pool to reach Tyler, lifting her in her arms. She is unconscious. Dean and Sam break through the back door, and the brothers and Susan rush in to meet Y/N as she exits the pool, Tyler in her arms. She lays her on the edge of the pool, and Sam, Dean, and Susan kneel down. After a tense moment, Tyler coughs and wakes up.

"Thank god! Thank God, thank God." Susan says, hugging Tyler.

"Mommy!"

"Yeah, baby, I'm here."

"Tyler, do you see Maggie anywhere?" Y/N asks.

"No, she's gone. Mommy." Dean, Sam, and Y/N share a look, and they help her out. Later, Susan holds Tyler close to her as they go up towards Rose's room.

"Don't worry, honey, we're leaving in two minutes, we've just got to get Grandma."

"I don't get it, did Maggie just stop?" Dean asks.

"Seems like it," Y/N answers.

"Well, where the hell did she go?" Upstairs, Susan screams. They go running up to Rose's room to find her slumped in her wheelchair, dead.

==

Sam, Dean, and Y/N watch as Rose's body is put into a coroner's van. They walk over to Susan.

"Paramedics said it was another stroke. Do you think...Margaret could have had something to do with it?" She asks.

"We don't know."

"But it's possible, yeah." There is a short pause. "Susan, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. You've given me everything." She turns to Tyler as she comes out. "Ready to go, kiddo?"

"Yeah."

"No Tyler, you're sure Maggie's not around anymore?" Dean asks.

"I'm sure. I'd see her."

"I guess whatever's going on must be over." Sam holds the taxi door for Susan.

"You two take care of yourselves, all right?" Before getting in the taxi, she turns and gives Sam a full-body hug. Dean and Y/N smirk.

"Thank you. The three of you." Sam shuts the door behind her.

"Think you could have hooked up some MILF action there, bud, I'm serious, I think she liked you."

"Yeah, that's all she needs."

"Well, you saved the mom, you saved the girl. Not a bad day." Dean turns to Y/N. "Of course you know, I could have saved 'em myself, but I didn't want you to feel useless."

"I appreciate it, really," Y/N says sarcastically.

"Feels good getting back in the saddle, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does. But it doesn't change what we talked about last night, Guys."

"We talked about a lot of things last night," Dean says.

"You know what I mean."

"You were wasted."

"But you weren't. And you promised." Y/N and Dean share a look. They get into the car. Sam in a full-on brood, Dean and Y/N flick their eyes towards Sam in worry and anxiety. They pull away from the inn.

[matzsmith]

Yeah, it's a right pain, to be honest. You're sat there for what feels like forever, and by the time they've done, your neck's stiff and you've got this heavy thing on your head. Doesn't help when you're not used to it, like you said. But hey, I suppose it's all worth it in the end. You're right though, I must be a glutton for punishment. Either that or I'm just really, really committed to the cause. The second someone steps out of line or shows a bit of vulnerability, people jump on it. It's a shame, though, how many people play it safe because they're worried about being judged. With so many eyes on you, every little move's under the microscope. One wrong look or a bad day, and suddenly there's a thousand different opinions flying around about what you meant by it. I reckon anyone in this game who says they've never had a wobble is either lying or superhuman. The pressure's mad, and you're always one slip-up away from ending up on some tabloid headline. We're all bound to crack now and then, but you just have to hope no one's filming when it happens, eh? I'm pretty sure it's not on any platform, but you could buy it if you wanted, though I would certainly not recommend you waste money on it! Ohh mate, cent percent. It's a bit surreal, to be staring at this version of yourself that's not you at all, it's like looking at a stranger. It's weirdly liberating, in a way. You stop being "you" with all the usual baggage and suddenly you're this whole other person with their own quirks and mannerisms. I reckon it's a bit like an out-of-body experience, but one that's actually useful for the job. I get it! Performing's one thing, but having the camera on you, especially for a music video, it's like a whole other layer of pressure. You're not just delivering the music, but every little movement and expression gets captured, and there's nowhere to hide. I get why that could feel a bit much, especially if you're more about the creativity than being the centre of attention. But when you do get involved and let yourself switch it up, I bet it's a blast, yeah? It's not Andrew on camera, it's this version of you that fits the video. And I reckon that probably lets you have a right laugh with it. You can throw yourself into the performance without worrying about how you come across because it's all part of the character or the story you're telling. It's almost like a little escape. Deal, mate! I won't go digging through your hidden gems. We'll just agree to let those past performances rest in peace. That Trinity orchestra thing sounds like a story though, I'll let you off the hook for now, but I reckon I'll be curious about it one day! Fair trade, I'd say. Thank you, man! We've still not wrapped and I'm excited for you to see it.

Yeah, it's like our minds are wired to latch onto the negative. As if our brains are programmed to protect us from criticism, so we end up obsessing over it, replaying it in our heads like some sort of mental highlight reel. And I reckon there's something about our nature that craves validation. When we put ourselves out there, we want to feel accepted, to know we've done a good job. So when the negative comments pop up, they hit harder than they should. It's like standing in front of a crowd, and one person shouts something nasty while everyone else is cheering, you can't help but focus on that one voice. You're right, the thought of someone confronting us with that kind of negativity in person is a whole different kettle of fish. You can just imagine the look on their faces when they realize they have to back up their words with actual interaction. it's like the internet gives them this false sense of power, but in reality, most people are just trying to live their lives without the hassle. The worst part is that it can make you second-guess yourself. You start wondering if what you create is worth it when a few loud voices try to drown out the good stuff. But thankfully, we've got people to remind us that for every negative comment, there are plenty of people who appreciate what we do. And those are the voices that really matter. I've been feeling the draft a bit more than I'd like. A warm hat sounds like a solid plan, I might even look cool. You've got a point about starting fresh, though. The bleach definitely took a toll, and it was probably time for a reset. Sometimes you've just got to strip it all back and let it breathe. I'l miss the mohawk but I think my hair does suit me lots better. Here's hoping I'm back to those long locks sooner rather than later. I totally understand, otherwise, you end up pacing around the house like a caged animal, don't you? I hate that feeling. The worst is when you've got so much free time that your mind starts running wild with all sorts of nonsense. Better to stay active and engaged, even if it's just tackling odd jobs or trying your hand at something new. I love that. It's truly fascinating how love can push back against all the nonsense we face daily, whether it's societal pressures or personal struggles. When you frame it like that, it feels almost revolutionary, doesn't it? You're taking something so beautiful and flipping it into a powerful statement. We should! If you happen to be around New York, I'd love to meet up and get this going. I can't imagine what life would be like without it either, it's like my personal therapy. I like that you have that background, it just proves you don't need a fancy degree to make it in music. That's such an interesting life, and career initiations mate! Much more than mine in so many ways. Sounds good, mate! I totally get that, you've got to be in the right headspace to really nail a song. Once you've had a decent stretch of sleep, I know you'll be firing on all cylinders again, churning out those brilliant ideas. 

Oh yeah, I can imagine it's an absolute pain in the arse to be sitting there for that long to have it fitted, and it must feel weird to carry all that extra weight too when you're absolutely not used to such things. Tell ya what, I don't envy ya for kt. You're a Saint for dealing with the process, but I suppose that only goes to show how much you value your job. You'll be able to rest easy at night know thsy discomfort certainly paid off and aids the masterful performance you never fail to give. What is it with humans and judgement? We must be the only species with such narrow minded views. From an outsider perspective, you're always able to tell when someone is holding back, that makes whatever project you're focusing on seem half hearted and no one really wants that. But when someone care? Oh, it's like the heavens have opened up and you're certainly going to be witness to an absolute masterpiece — that in itself sets things apart. In the industry we're all in, having so many eyes on ya, doesn't it make sense that we'd all go out our nut at some point? We're lucky if none of it's ever caught on camera. Ah, so the film is out there then? Sorry to hear about all the delays and lack of promotion that went into it after all the hardworking you and the crest of the cast surly went through. I'm sure there's someone out there who holds that movie dear to their heart, and in a way, isn't that what it's all about. The shaved head didn't go to complete waste. Don't take it as a failure, it's a learning curve. There are plenty of projects out there held near and dear nowadays that we're horrifically bombed by people reviewing them back on release. Don't ya ever get a little freaked out when you're looking in the mirror and don't see yourself looking back? It would be giving uncanny valley, but I can certainly see how it would help you navigate into an entirely different person. You're suddenly free from the shackles of your own being temporarily. Truth be hold, I don't truly enjoy being in front of the camera. Love performing and creating, but there's always this part of me that wants to shy away from curious eyes, so I'm actually not in a lot of my music videos. But the ones I have been fortunate enough to change into has been a right laugh. How's this for a sign of friendship, I won't go looking at the stuff you deem as your worst work provided you won't go looking for me shining with the Trinity orchestra. Is that a fair trade? In the story of the underdog, everyone can see a part of themselves in it. Can't wait to watch it personally, lad. You'll have smashed it. That's what I'm talking about. Positive thinking and all that. Manifest your way towards greatness.

It's like our mind works against us at times. Like when ya know ya should get up and do something with your day, but instead you'll lounge around and be sad about the hours wasted. That's what it's like searching for cruel comments in a sea of positivity. Truth be told, most people don't have that kinda strong reaction to a perfect stranger. They'll only say it online because they think there's no harm done there and they want to either provoke a reaction or gain some attention. Luckily no one has cussed either of is out face to face. I dread to think of the repercussions. Ah, I hadn't even factored into the temptation drop at the moment. With how long my hair is, I've not had to worry about that, but you must be getting freezing nowadays. Invest in a warm hat until your hair comes back, I'm sure it won't take ya too long to grow again. Starting fresh might be wise, ya must have bleached it to get it that yellow colour and I'm assuming that it isn't feeling its healthiest right now. Don't worry, you'll be back with long locks in no time and the mohawk will be but a distant memory. Just like you, I have to be doing something with my days or I'll drive myself into wall with how bored I'd get. Not started talking to the TV before, so that's a good sign, right? Yeah, you're exactly right. I love the idea of love as a violent act, ya know? Not against each other, but against the reality of the world we're forced to live in and my lyricism tries to show that. No kidding! That's so cool. We'll have to jam together sometime now I know music is well and truly in your blood. You're right about it being a great outlet, I have no clue what head space I'd be in without it. Being a pro is overrated. I was a college dropout, who's biggest gig was a local pub in Ireland when Take Me To Church took off the way that it did. So long as your hearts I'm the right place, that's what counts in my books. Thanks for being so understanding. You'll definitely be kept in the loop. Once I've been able to sleep for at least a week or two, then I'll be in writing mode. I kinda always am, but I need to be in the right mindset to craft a song together.

[sscarchiyo]

dating them

pairing: shiki x gn!reader

type: headcanons

warnings: none

genre: fluff

🖇a/n: ahhh isnsisks I made this a lil too long? Idk I love shiki guys 😭 hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated, have a good day <3

dating shiki would definitely be interesting 😅

he’d try to plan out dates, but most of the time something goes wrong, leaving you with a very irritated shiki. In most cases you’ll be planning the dates

personal hype man, he’s crazy over you. thinks you’re the most handsome/beautiful person he’s ever seen and you’re going to get compliments 24/7

If you happen to be an oni who’s a civilian or with the corp, bet he wants to be by your side ALL the time. you’re going on a low rank mission or grocery shopping? Good, he’s coming with you. Your opponent got the better of you or you tripped on the sidewalk? No can do, he’s gonna treat you like you're dying, holding onto you and ramming the first aid kit in your face.

Speaking of dates I feel like he’d wanna go to some sort of arcade or an amusement park trying to drag you on the big rides (like he isn’t scared himself 😐) definitely wants to to show off, “hey hey y/n look at the BIG bear I won for you, aren’t I the coolest?��

He’s a food stealer, won’t scarf everything down. But you had a burger and some fries? Well now it’s half eaten and the fries are missing

I feel like he can be very hyper when doing something you like to do? Maybe you want to take him somewhere new? He’s thrilled, “ohh my s/o wants to show me something, can’t wait!”

Loves to talk, so if you’re shy? Dw he’ll do all the talking for you, but he’ll definitely try to get you to open up here and there. Occasionally getting your input on the topic at hand

If you like to talk, then you’ll never be bored. The two of you will always have something to talk about. What your future will be like, who’s your favorite classmate, new training techniques, why mudano is so mean 😢

Cuddles? Cuddles :) Wants to be little spoon, he loves the way you wrap him in your arms; makes him feel so safe tbh. Other times he wants to be big spoon and tell you; “when you hold me I feel so secure, so I want you to feel the same”.

Overprotective? Yes, but he’s not bad with it. He trusts you and knows you can handle yourself, although...

He’s sees someone staring too long? He’ll either a) wrap an arm around you, giving ya a peck or two so the person knows you’re taken b) he’ll try and fight them 😃 after all he has fighting experience, he’s definitely gonna use it. Besides who said part of the reason isn’t to show off? “Come on man, y/n is watching I can’t mess up”

In terms of affection, definitely physical. Always wants to be around you, giving you hugs and kisses? Ha he loves it, 101% doesn’t care about pda. He’s always tryna squeeze in a hug here or there. If you're not that comfortable with pda or initiating it, dw he’ll do it for you. Ofc the least he’ll do is hold ur hand, if that isn’t your cup of tea, he’ll hold onto your sleeve

As we know shiki isn’t the brightest in the box, but he isn’t stupid. Well sure he has his moments, but he’s been shown to have good knowledge in tough situations.

So in terms of class work, 90% believe he wasn’t paying attention, nor was he writing notes on anything mundo said. So get ready cuz he’s coming to you for help. If you’re a studious person, study dates are a must. He’ll ever be grateful to you. If you’re not a studious person, hell even you werent listening to class? best believe study dates are happening but with less studying. You’ll both be goofing off, papers and books scattered. Probably doing some sort of game, twister maybe? Although ofc, you’ll seek help from Jin. He’d say no at first, since we’ll it’s Jin😐 but ofc he can’t rlly say no to you after all Jin can tolerate You, just not your boyfriend. Who everyday wakes up and thinks how the two of you got together in the first place.

I also think he’d talk to his dad about you (yk like at the grave) vice versa he'll tell you stories about his dad. If you're comfortable he’d love to take you to the graveyard and meet him. Or even if you suggest it, he’d probably start crying then and there.

overall I think dating shiki would be worth it

[chainsawworld]

Pfftt anyways here's Conan rambling about the oldies

Conan: alright, so, the old team.. of course some of us here knew the original members of the team but I'm the only one who's seen everyone other than myself get replaced so. This is my job I guess

Conan: I suppose I should go from last to go to first to go? Starting off with the more familiar members would be easier

Conan: our old engineer, Esther, was quite.. enthusiastic, let's say, about our progress as a team. It was actually pretty contagious, no matter how bad you thought we were doing all that was needed to change that was one joyful comment from engie and you'd think that well it couldn't be too bad. Absolutely bonkers to think that about us though. Esther was already bonkers though so there's no big surprise there, haha. Died on the field, as I'm sure most of you remember. Just a few years away from completing their contract too.. a right shame that was.

Conan: the old scout, Asher, was... well, let's not kid ourselves, the old scout was one of my best friends. Always one to tease and push buttons but brought an air of, a sort of carefree affection, wherever they went. I've never been the best at relaxing but scout made it alot easier, for all of us, I'm sure. Another one who died on the field. That day was.. destroying. And the next days weren't much better. I still find myself playing out the events, trying to think of what I could've done. I'm sure scout is laughing at me from the afterlife for feeling responsible. Ha, I might deserve that.

Conan: our soldier, Charlie, was quite the raucous one, very loud, you knew how they were feeling without having to ask. I'd say 'the stereotypical soldier' if it weren't for the gift giving. Ohh, everyone loved that, any present exchanging events were well looked forward to because of them. Quite the uh.. dancer too. Honestly, them and demo would keep dancing for hours! They were like you're two overly affectionate drunk friends but like that all the time. I. I do hope they found eachother in the afterlife, they deserve to be together.

Milk: wait- both of them?? How many of us.. well, just how many of us kicked the bucket?

Conan: *sigh* alot, unfortunately..

Conan: now, Mallory, our medic! What an asshole, I can't believe they wormed their way into my friend group.

Duncan: haha! careful. They're still alive, remember?

Conan: pfft! As if they could still win against me, bet they've gone soft during retirement! Ah, anyways. Mallory was always the quiet type. until they weren't. You'd never see it coming, one second they're the silent observer you've come to know and the next they're saying the rudest yet funniest thing you've ever heard. You lot should've seen pyro chase them down! See, this is our first one who didn't die, like duncan said, they're still alive, just finished their contract is all. if they heard me call them an asshole I'd be done for haha!

Duncan: "c'moan mate, a'll-"

Duncan & conan: "-a'll fuckin sling ye aroun' like a wet trackie!" *nonsensical giggling*

Conan: hehehehe, I can't believe you remember that!

Duncan: of course I remember that! That was the first time I'd got Mallory to have a go at me!

Conan: snrrrk, ok ok I need to move on. Uhm.. right, right! Wynifred, our sniper. The only one with a brain, if I recall correctly. Wyni put up with so much of our shit, you wouldn't believe it. Honestly, Asher would annoy them all the time, it was like a favourite past time. Yet they were never swatted, wyni had more patience than the lot of us combined. Yeah.. no wonder we agreed on them being our team leader, we needed someone who wouldn't get us killed. Hey, speaking of, they're actually the first here to die but not on the field. Terminal illness, I think. At least with all the pain killers their last moments were fairly peaceful.

Conan: let's see... right, it's demo next. Ally- or wait, fuck what was their full name? Uhm..

Shell: Allemande

Conan: thank you, that's it. Never used the full name much, real casual sort of person but. Had a sort of powerful vibe. Even with all the somehow not drunken dancing there was always this feeling that Ally knew what they were doing. And well, they must've! To this day, they are still the most efficient and effective mercenary I have ever had the fortune of witnessing. Despite that, they were still one very cryptic person. The stuff they said was so outrageous yet they said it with such a straight face, it was hard not to laugh sometimes. Now, I've never believed in ghosts but if anyone could make me believe then I'd bet my money on Ally. That was another field death. If I wasn't so sure about them and Charlie being together after all this then part of me would want Ally to haunt this place as a ghost.

Conan: ... see, I really wish I could give pyro and heavy good descriptions but I never got to know them very well. Pyro, uhm, Constance, was pretty stubborn and hot-headed.

Rosa: hot-headed, huh?

Conan: haha, 'hot'-headed, yes. It worked in their favour surprisingly well. And like I said, watching them chase Mallory was a treat. This is our first one to transfer teams, although their contract might be over by now honestly. I actually think they transferred because heavy did, those two seemed to get along pretty well. Heavy... Madoc, if I recall, was a pretty raucous one too. Very loud. Threw a celebration party for me joining the team, welcomed me to the 'family', told me not to feel like just some replacement for their old spy. It was nice. And then they gone like 5 months later.

Conan: and.. yeah, I think that's about it. If you really want to know more about one particular teammate I could tell you but this has been enough public speaking for 3 weeks so goodbye.

[missamyrisa2]

Hi Miss Amy

I’d like to say I really enjoy reading your short stories and teases.

Also I love silky satin pyjamas, I bet we’d have so much fun tickling and teasing each other to bits if we ever had a slumber party.

Thank you so much sweetheart! <3 I don't get a huge amount of feedback with all the silliness I write, so I always appreciate it <333

A tickly slumber party is exactly how I would have such a get together. Of course~ I don't know that you'd have the typical sort of sleepwear. These silky tops and bottoms might be a little too large for you I'm afraid, so I made some modifications. Don't worry, the soft sensual material will be nicely snug over your feet and hands. I suppose it really is more like a sleep sack this way, which is ever so perfect~ because now I can simply lay you back on this big fluffy bed and you're free to roll around. Why would you be rolling around? I dunno~ sometimes people get~wriggly~ when I start tracing every inch of this plush material. Now, now. I need to check every seam so quit squirming. Just need to make sure you're so secure in this sleepwear. Doesn't it feel so lovely? Just so exquisite, that elegant sensation grazing on your naked skin. Why, you're fully clothed but still so helpless to the tickles aren't you? Such a silly boy~ no where to hide from the tickles, no where to go but lovingly into giggles as I touch your belly so much with these spidery grasps.

And with your arms and legs cozy in there, you are so easy to keep on this bed. I can lazily run my fingers down your ribs & midsection and keep you snuggled up to me with no struggle. Ohh~ and I see you just noticed how I made the neck so fuzzy for you. It's like a little furry kiss all around your neckie noo while I tickle. Careful, all those squirms are setting it offff~~ Coochie coo cutie. Don't you just love our little tickle sleepover? You can't fall asleep though~ if you do, you're gonna find yourself in an even ticklier predicament. I can't imagine you will giggling so madly like that though. Does it tickle so? How about on your adorable rump! Yes, your booty. It's so sensitive through this satin isn't it? Oooh, little pinchy crabs are on our bed~ pinch pinch pinch. They see a naughty butty and need to pinchy it~ Insert some joke about crabs~ And now it's time for your feet. Yeah~ your feet. Amy needs to inspect them. Let's see~ ooh that's your knee, let's just squeeze that to be sure. Mmhmm. Squeezy squeezy teasy teasy. Now the other one. Uhuh. Ticklish knees. Okay down here I think there's some toesies. Are those the toes? Yeah? No? Tickle tickle? Ooh goodness, you're so ticklish in this sleep sack huh?

But best of all, we can get that material really trembling with my magic wand. Here, let me hold it riiight by your ear first. Doesn't that buzz just excite you? So much aural electricity. Why, I could hold this by your ears and just watch you writhe. And maybe trace this really bad spot on your chest. Is there a button under there? Am I pushing your giggle button mmm? What if we buzzy there. Yes, the wand riiight on your button in little tickly buttony circles. My, my, my. That is such a reaction. It's like a dancing bag on my bed. This is like some art exhibit stuff now. Let's get you really writhing. Best part about pinning your legs through the pajamas is you get to feel all that tickly friction on your thighs. And I'm gonna snuggle close now, I'm really gonna set off that material. The wand is coming down down down, over your belly, touring each hip with these buzzy vibes. Your skin is getting such a silky polishing yeah? And at last, that cute royal area. Oh, how I love a royal inquisition. We have to extract all that wonderful tickly knowledge from you now. Hold on cuteness, here it comes. I'll just tickle your sides while the wand does her magic on that swelling part. It's a game of resistance, and the wand always wins, but we'll see how long you can last now~ Tickle tickle cutie. Mmhm. Yes, I'll take you over the edge and I'll tickle you all the way through and beyond. I'm feeling so generous I won't even make you beg to cum, you just have to laugh nice and sweetly for me. And then we'll have the whole night ahead of us for more tickles and snuggles. Maybe I'll get into my own purpley silky trap for you~

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: we forgot another one off the 💀💀💀 list Jimmy: you gonna stick or twist? Janis: 👊 me if you give a shit Janis: need all the ways at my disposal Jimmy: here you are then, hot glue gun Janis: 🤔 Janis: sounds like a bit of 💀👑 & 💀#2 if you take it to your 🗢 and slowly starve Janis: still leaning towards 🔪 personally Jimmy: Alright, I'll invite them over Jimmy: keep your jealousy in check, my dear Janis: Jealous of you or them? Jimmy: ain't goals either way Janis: Neither is you taking up crafting, tbh so Janis: why have you got a hot glue gun? Jimmy: these cotton wool balls won't stick themselves to a 👕 Jimmy: gotta get 'em on before 💀👑 and 💀#2 think I've put snacks on Janis: 🤢 Janis: new 😎 look? Janis: 👎 Jimmy: piss off, this 🥉💡's nowt to do with me Janis: Who's is it? Janis: they ain't wasting snacks Jimmy: dunno, some other dickhead online whose kid don't wanna be a 🐑 an' all Janis: Ohh Janis: one of the more creative nativity outfits too, unlucky Janis: no tinfoil 👑s or dubious tea towels Jimmy: still looks shit enough to make our kid 😭 Janis: and you ain't got enough days to ship a probably shittier version from China Janis: alright, hold on Jimmy: I get that you live in the middle of nowt but nicking a 🐑 for #inspo ain't gonna help Janis: yeah, way to ruin my fun Janis: but my ma has had enough kids to have some ideas so you owe me for how 🥱 but informative this will be Jimmy: be a right laugh for you, be another pet I didn't ask for and have to piss about with Janis: or sunday lunch Janis: pessimist Jimmy: he's 😭 already, dickhead Janis: and I thought you northerners were meant to be hard Janis: grim and that Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: Anyway, you want me to surprise you with the 🥇💡 or do you just want the lowdown on where to go Jimmy: depends Janis: on? Jimmy: if I can unstick myself or need your 💪🏆 Janis: 😏 Janis: how about I get on the bus to town now Janis: and if you manage to deal with your sticky fingers before I get there, then you can go? Jimmy: how's your ankle? Janis: not even on the scale now Jimmy: might be after you've put your foot down 🚍💣 Janis: Keanu could untangle you in 90 minutes, I reckon Janis: easy Jimmy: he ain't been pissing about 🐕🏃 Jimmy: how many you done? Janis: loads Janis: 💸 'cos the gifts don't buy 'em selves and the 🐕 owners are too busy sticking cotton balls to t-shirts, clearly 🎄✨ Jimmy: nice one, Janet Jimmy: now I'LL have to keep my jealousy in check while you put your 🦶 up on some other 🚍 riding knobhead Janis: only fair Janis: especially as you've reminded me how rammed that fucking bus is gonna be now Jimmy: I'll give one of my 👮 mates a bell to get you a 🚔 escort, hang on Janis: 😍 the perks Janis: there had to be some Jimmy: 🤡 perks off you Jimmy: won't be no struggle getting yourself on that 🚍 however full it is Janis: I'm pretty flexible Janis: contortionist might be a bold claim but 💪🏆 Jimmy: but it ain't a proper flex til I say it Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: that's a fake flex Janis: don't need you for nothing Jimmy: after what happened on the assault course it'd sound like a real pisstake Janis: 1. that's agility if it's anything 2. also your fault Jimmy: never said it weren't, just how it'd sound Janis: No need to tell me what it 🔊 like Janis: the DMs are on the up again, yeah? Janis: same Jimmy: tis the season Janis: cutting it a bit fine to get a decent gift out of it Janis: but I suppose the couply selfies you can take are a close 🥈 for them Jimmy: can't keep the receipt on chlamydia but you can blag you went somewhere nice for the hols Janis: girls are actually demented Janis: at least no lad is gonna try and put me in matching knitwear and make me meet his nan Jimmy: 🥇💡 idea though I'll get you a #goals gift that ain't a trip to the cemetery Janis: oh yeah Janis: I'll get you something as well, even though I'm not required to try as hard Jimmy: stick a 🎀 on yourself and have done Jimmy: what the rest of the lasses do Janis: yeah literally Janis: as long as I heavily imply I'm gonna suck your dick, all is well, all is #goals Jimmy: 👍 Janis: but if you don't do good that # is gonna be a read Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: even if you get out the glue after me Janis: you can come to the shops too Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say even if you give me the glue gun #regifted Janis: I mean Janis: not quite handcuffs Jimmy: fuck's sake babe, let me leave my work at work Janis: fine Janis: the 🚔 escort will as you won't Jimmy: you and your stolen 🐑 Jimmy: dead romantic, that Janis: I'm not from the middle of nowhere, tah Janis: 🐑shagging isn't a hobby Jimmy: back to the drawing board for our fake break up Janis: all the shite songs they pump out have plenty of inspo in 'em Jimmy: nowt I don't know about 🎄🎵 been forced to hear 'em since November Janis: 💔 gutted Jimmy: no chance of 🎻 Janis: how have you not fully lost it yet Janis: only a few days to go Jimmy: how'd you know I've not? Janis: I'd have heard of a mass shooting Janis: not that out of it Janis: also my sister wouldn't be about no more which would be a bigger giveaway Jimmy: 👻 letdowns Jimmy: worst I can do is rattle a few cups Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I'm used to it Janis: the friendmas organisation is in full swing Janis: 🤡🔫 Jimmy: where's my invite? Janis: OMG, no boys allowed! 🚫 Janis: though bets on Mia breaking her own rule there just to torture Grace Jimmy: I'll 👗👠💄 and be a prettier lass than any of them Janis: 😍 what kind of fake gf would disagree Janis: aside from the fact that ain't a stretch on a good day Jimmy: tah Jimmy: when is it? Janis: [some day as close to xmas as you are allowed 'cos pretending we're such good mates like okay] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: like, no offence or anything, babes Janis: but I don't see you passing REALLY 😬 Janis: and even they might notice they've picked up another desperado Jimmy: 1. piss off would I not 2. call it my 🎁 seeing the look on 💀👑 when I bring her 🎄 cake Janis: it would be decent craic Janis: they never do it at ours though Jimmy: typical, that, can't get sodding rid the rest of the year Jimmy: have to get us an 💌 then, won't I Jimmy: hang on Janis: I get it Janis: you miss Asia Janis: don't think 💀👑 has 'em do team-building exercises 💔💔💔 Jimmy: yeah, cupid's arrow's got nowt on falling on your arse when the ground's near froze Jimmy: reminded me of home 😍😍😍 Janis: she's well considerate like that Janis: not so braindead after-all Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: don't wanna give 💀👑 the 🎁 of seeing I've had to flirt with her to crash their bollocks festivities Janis: can't play into her hands that hard Janis: keep your 😍😍😍 focused in the right direction Jimmy: 🚍 Janis: yes, this is your driver speaking Jimmy: be a 🚑 if your mum ain't cracked on to a way I can chuck this glue gun Janis: I've sorted it Janis: well my sister's shit taste in fashion helped Jimmy: usually get 💰 for 3rd degree burns, me Jimmy: how's that for a flex? Janis: You made a rod for your own back being the artsy one or what? Jimmy: weren't gonna let a 6 year old have a go, were I? Janis: and it's not Ian's thing Jimmy: dunno where he is Jimmy: might be work, might be the pub Jimmy: be a better shout to give it over to my sister, anger issues an' all, any road Janis: you can put it down and get yourself a drink now Janis: all I need you to have is a black marker, which I know you do Jimmy: #whenshereallygetsyou Jimmy: 🥃 cheers Janis: you know those sherpa jackets they all have Janis: makes them look like a giant 🧸 but not in the adorbs way they're hoping Janis: Penneys has loads of them, get a paper plate, glue it on the hood and colour it in black, cut another in half for the ears and ta-da Janis: and I'll just take the jacket so no need to pay me back Janis: only in favours, obviously Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: IOU enough 🚬 to send that cheap shite up in flames, I get it Janis: yeah, probably don't string some fairylights round his neck as well Janis: would've taken hers but it's almost pink and I reckoned that'd just make him 😭 more Jimmy: you'd have to nick them an' all for him to be in any danger Jimmy: and what kind of fake boyfriend would let you up on the neighbour's roof with that ankle Janis: you want some lights? Janis: it's the easiest shop to borrow from Janis: they must have some that aren't shaped like the 🍆 emoji or a fucking unicorn Jimmy: 💔 I ain't coming with, you've really sold it to me Janis: oh, duh Janis: you call it primark Janis: it's hell on earth, you'd love it Janis: when they ain't guzzling your over-priced coffee, they're getting fast fashion made by little slave kids 💖 so cute Jimmy: hang on, why the fuck do you call it something different? Jimmy: now I have to come, not gonna knit an ugly jumper myself and nan's 💀💀💀 Janis: adds to our delightful charm? I don't know Janis: imagine the atrocities Janis: I'm gonna find the best, by which I mean WORST, one Jimmy: I'll meet you there Jimmy: be enough dickheads to follow if I get lost Janis: follow the knock-off UGGs they've trashed in the rain and snow Jimmy: hot Jimmy: don't get enough wet 🐕 smell off of you as is or owt Janis: err fuck off Janis: I haven't even got a dog, you have Jimmy: I have nowt to do with it, you can't move for 🐕🐾💩 Janis: 1. I don't fucking smell, dickhead 2. you're well opposed to me showering so you'd have yourself to blame if I did Jimmy: I'll nick you a ��� and you can do what you like Jimmy: many cold 🚿 as you need, mate Janis: you just want me to freeze now Janis: and your ⛓ kink hasn't got any less blatant Jimmy: weren't the way you wanna 💀💀💀 Janis: It ain't Janis: so your genius plan better include a way to warm me up Jimmy: might do Janis: the ugly jumper don't count Janis: cheap shit, as mentioned Jimmy: don't remember chucking it in the ring as my 💡 Janis: I don't wanna dress up as a sheep neither 😏 Jimmy: 💔 you'd be a well fit and mysterious one Janis: the racial undertones of ba ba black sheep have already been pointed out Janis: very on the nose Jimmy: I ain't got as far as black facing our kid, what more do you want? Janis: yeah, minorities are WELL demanding like that Jimmy: that'll be why Ian's steering well clear Janis: 💔💔 of course Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: thank god this is fake dating Janis: don't need a get out situation, tah Jimmy: knew you were protesting too much about the ⛓ Jimmy: you love it, Jules Jimmy: don't even need the stockholm syndrome to kick in Janis: not so much I wanna try it with your dad Janis: that's more 💀👑 gig Jimmy: UGH FINE we won't pass you round Janis: 😂 you're vile Jimmy: 💕 Janis: not as bad as some of the 'people' on this bus though Janis: won't be too hard to pretend to be glad to see you, in case any of the herd as in Penneys Janis: glad to breathe clean air more like but 🤫 Jimmy: 🚭 I get it Jimmy: very subtle Janis: easier to get you to cut down if I just take half Janis: but alright Jimmy: stop having a go at my stamina, dickhead Janis: make me Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: 🏃 after your 🚍 ain't the way to go about it Janis: Impressive but also stalkerish, yeah Jimmy: turning every dickhead there into a fan ain't clearing either of our DMs Janis: I doubt all these 👵👴 have Instas Janis: but the single mums with the screaming kids, definitely Janis: don't wanna ponder the creepy guy at the back Jimmy: but have you double checked it ain't Lucas in a disguise? Jimmy: he'll be missing you SO bad by now Janis: 😱😱 Janis: my hopes? ⬆️ Jimmy: 🎁's have begun, Jasmine Janis: Good Janis: I do expect one every day tbh 💅 Jimmy: alright Janis: that's a joke though Jimmy: don't have to be Jimmy: 🏆🥇 me Janis: only if you're gonna steal 'em all Janis: don't need to waste real money for the fake #goals Jimmy: DUH Janis: then proceed Janis: I can slowly just put them in Grace's room, I'm sure Jimmy: we could use the glue gun to stick 'em to her ceiling Janis: now you're talking 😍 Jimmy: do 💀👑 an' all if that's where their friendmas is but probably need a ladder to reach her ceilings Jimmy: no standing on the bed when you're 💰💰💰 Janis: You love to carry me, I'll get on your shoulders Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I think it's at hers Janis: maybe 💀#2 but none of the others want their houses and lives judged that hard so they opt out Jimmy: we'll be able to get some more blackmail material either way Janis: Did you seriously get an invite? Jimmy: are you actually doubting me or what? Janis: I know Asia's thick as shit but Janis: what did you say? Jimmy: [sends her the messages cos it seriously wouldn't be hard since the flatwhites think everyone wants to be their BFFs even though the opposite is true, so all he'd have to do is be like soz about the school trip we're just SO IN LOVE WE CAN'T HELP OURSELVES] Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: fairplay but 🤢 🤮 🤧 😷 🤒 🤕 new scale needed Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: where are you? Janis: Do you actually know your way about yet or? Janis: I'm still a bit away, though, if that's what you mean Jimmy: I did mean on your new 🤢 🤮 🤧 😷 🤒 🤕 scale Janis: 🤕 then Janis: clearly Janis: you? Jimmy: 🤮 Jimmy: weren't talking to 💀👑 Jimmy: directly anyway Janis: She'd not have said yes Janis: unless she's got some pig blood just waiting, like Jimmy: she's so #invested in our 💘 she'd say yeah near enough whatever I said Jimmy: probably reckons she can 💔 us before the pudding's served Jimmy: her 🥇💡'll be to have Asia in a sexy santa outfit ready to crack onto me or some bollocks Janis: nah, seriously Janis: wanna talk pimps Janis: one of Asia's only uses Janis: poor bitch Jimmy: I'll take my 🎻 Janis: as long as it don't look like you're 💔 you can't go there, fine by me Jimmy: I get that none of them can read body language but facial expressions are a bit easier Janis: and you are so expressive Janis: 😒😎 Jimmy: for you, baby, the 😎'll be off Jimmy: nowt to do with the 🌧 and 🌨 Janis: 😳😖🤤🥴 Janis: so many expressions 🏆 Jimmy: Oi, I wanted to give you the 🏆 Jimmy: pissed on today's 🎁 Janis: 😮 there's me, still acting surprised Janis: you can't say you're gonna give me something then not Jimmy: SUCH range, you Jimmy: where would I steal a 🏆 from? nah, you'll get something Janis: I take my wins in many forms Janis: you can just tell me Janis: that'll work Jimmy: you can just wait Janis: 🥺 Janis: original scale Jimmy: it'll be worth it Jimmy: famous last words Janis: can poison the dish we have to bring Janis: if you're ready to go 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I don't wanna go with them Jimmy: just you Janis: I can promise it'll be worth it then too Jimmy: alright Janis: am gonna make that meal fucking inedible for them Janis: even if it's coming straight back up in most cases Janis: and fucking with them however else we can  💭 Jimmy: 🤞 Bill's 👻 knows some others, Dickens would be a good shout to keep things on brand 🎄 Jimmy: but whether he do or don't I've had loads of piss poor dinners Jimmy: Ian knows how to pick well #goals girlfriends Janis: think he'd be the 'what's the point in you if you can't cook n clean?' type Janis: being mysterious runs in the family, clearly Jimmy: beggars can't be choosers, mate Jimmy: slim pickings round that office when you've already been done for harassment Janis: 😬 Janis: need to talk to Mia's dad, work out the legality of being a perv with no repercussions Jimmy: how he tells it he's had loads 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: woe's him Janis: woe's the stupid bitches still going there after, more like Janis: have a word, ladies Jimmy: sort your heads out Sharons Jimmy: need a new mum who's got her shit together, tah very much Janis: one who's handy with a hot glue gun Jimmy: or a sewing machine, why the fuck not dream big? Janis: steady on Janis: #mommygoals isn't a hashtag I wanna endorse Jimmy: 😏 Janis: take mine, if you like Jimmy: bit weird Janis: I only 🐕🏃 Janis: cooking, cleaning, hot glueing, not services I provide, soz Jimmy: I'll live Jimmy: more #goals to be fuming about your mother in law Janis: easily done Jimmy: with my mum an' all, soz you'll have to take my word for it Janis: you're unlikely to see mine Janis: unless you have a banging selection of herbal teas Jimmy: gutted she don't wanna see her 🐑💡 brought to life on stage Janis: reckon turning up when you ain't got a kid in it gets you on a register, no? Janis: my dad coulda, sure some of his spawn are performing too but alas Janis: she didn't have that many 🥈 Jimmy: Ian's seat's going spare is all, obvs it were front and centre, dad of the year that he is Janis: what's he got on? Janis: latest disciplinary Janis: is your brother gutted? Jimmy: he'd be gutted if I weren't there Jimmy: what a #humblebrag Janis: good thing you can be arsed then Janis: and you have a sister too, right? Jimmy: dragging her along, kicking and marding 💪🏆 Janis: know the feeling Janis: bribe her with maccies after and tell him it's a treat for being a ⭐ Janis: everyone's buzzing Jimmy: what've you got on? Janis: me and my absolutely packed schedule? Janis: only 🐕🏃 ain't far off, aside from what I wanna, which can be done any time I want, of course Jimmy: nowt 🥇 about mine but we could edit it to look like we're #livingourbestlives Jimmy: I live right by the school, you could wait for me there, take some 📷 or whatever Janis: It's actually not an awful shout Janis: they're all obsessed with the cute kid thing Janis: and actually, Asia might be there with hers so Janis: very goals Jimmy: do try and put it out my head there's more than one set of those 🦷🦷 about Jimmy: fuck it, come then Jimmy: least I know you'll be sitting down Janis: 😂 fuck marrying a doctor, she's gotta find a dentist, for the whole family's sake Janis: I'm not coming in a 🦽 though Janis: that's a bit much Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: just admit you want me to carry you, girl Janis: behave Janis: might not be OUR teachers, but they'll have no issue telling you off, I'm sure Jimmy: donkey'd be a bit much but as fake pregnancy announcements go, top tier Janis: so gutted I can't fake labour and give birth to the new lord and saviour Janis: really steal the show Jimmy: could if it's Lucas' and you're making a Christmas cuck of me Janis: um, it's God's Janis: keep up Jimmy: sure it is Janis: 😱 Janis: didn't catch Joseph acting up like this Jimmy: didn't give him any lines, did they? Janis: I think he gets to ask if there's any room at the inn Jimmy: Oi mate, give us a 🛏 Jimmy: brought my own ⛓ like Janis: don't even get a break mid-labour Janis: hardcore Janis: weren't you Joseph in your nativity then? Jimmy: that your guess? Janis: yeah, I reckon Jimmy: what were you? Janis: just a generic angel Janis: was going to be one of the wise men but grace threw a fit if we weren't exactly the same Janis: tah for the downgrade Jimmy: if they could 👀 you now Jimmy: oscar worthy fake girlfriend performance day in, day out Janis: obviously they didn't see my potential like you, babe Janis: she might have legitimately tried to murder me if I got to be Mary 😂 no she weren't a twin, like Jimmy: I actually were one of the wise men, soz, sweetheart Jimmy: could've been #fated Janis: bet you was frankincense 'cos you could say big words Janis: I'm so 😭 honestly Jimmy: as roleplays go, not my top choice, but owt for you, babe Janis: if anything is a test of how well you can fake it Jimmy: you testing me? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: if we have the time to make THREE costumes instead of one Janis: I highly doubt it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: tin foil 👑 weren't it? Janis: yeah, and some kind of bedsheet robe, bit of tinsel Janis: sorted Jimmy: bet they have a 👸🏽 I can nick for you if your description of that shop were owt to go by Janis: definitely Janis: even if the hen party ones have L plates and dicks over 'em, the Disney ones should be a bit more nativity appropriate Jimmy: steal the show piss easy Janis: LOVE making little kids cry, obvs Jimmy: same Jimmy: just ain't as good when they're deaf, you can't get the volume out of 'em Jimmy: gutted we didn't end up with one who always shouts, obvs Janis: I'm gonna assume you got that deaf free pass and not go there myself Jimmy: safer to take owt I say with  🧂🤏 Jimmy: all fake anyway this Janis: ain't forgotten, you're alright Jimmy: didn't hit your head, I remember Janis: wouldn't tell you if I had Janis: the drama'd be too much Jimmy: I'd have worked that much out Jimmy: northern and only a bit thick Janis: 😵😵 Jimmy: no excuses, pisshead Janis: I know, I know Janis: you pride yourself on being 🏆💪 at the whole fake caring bf thing Jimmy: you saying I'm not? Janis: didn't say that, nah Jimmy: what then? Janis: what do you mean what? Janis: nothing Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're lucky you live in town Jimmy: about the only thing mine's got going for it Janis: yeah Janis: this bus ride has nothing though so take the 🍀 Jimmy: how long? Janis: gimme 15 Jimmy: [gives her whatever he's drawn her for the first advent doodle because I was hoping to find something but I've been cockblocked] Jimmy: [maybe it's her as a lil bub wise man though now cos live your dreams] Janis: [love that, when you dunno what to say for a hot sec so you post it first being fake but lowkey having to tell the real story somewhat 'cos like, why and what else so it can't be that fake] Janis: you are good at art, give you that Jimmy: @ Ms Howe Jimmy: 💰 on her having a real account but dunno what it is Jimmy: @artteacheroveralls73 Jimmy: @reasonswhyloadsofartistsareproblematic Jimmy: @ihatenortherners86 Janis: you aren't her fave? Janis: 💔 Janis: cliche affair could've cut out any need for fake dating Jimmy: not a lass with a bowl cut and 🖌 behind her 👂 Janis: you've got the same type Janis: bummer Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😂 Janis: we can say it is Janis: maybe one of 'em will chop off all their hair Jimmy: you'd have to an' all Jimmy: unless you're that 🥇 I've binned off my type Janis: Precisely Janis: no competition Jimmy: what's yours then? just 👴 who teach you or what? Janis: must be Janis: not a lesbian and that's the other guess Jimmy: 👍 Janis: tah Janis: well affirming Jimmy: didn't need telling that you weren't gay Jimmy: not that good of an actress Janis: rude Janis: basically got an oscar Jimmy: off who? Jimmy: don't count if you give it to yourself, Judith Janis: you Jimmy: you've had nowt off me but that top quality 🎨 Janis: only because you can't find a 🏆 to give me Jimmy: 'cause it's up to me what I give you Jimmy: and as rewards go, I can do better Janis: I like the drawing Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: you can have it, instead of just a 📷 if you want Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: what do you actually want Janis: in return Jimmy: what's #goals? Jimmy: other than all this nativity bollocks Janis: true, very selfless of me Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: weren't wrong about the 👼🏽 casting even if you were fuming Janis: I can fake 👼🏽 yeah Janis: but it's not really that selfless with all the #content we'll be getting Jimmy: still, I'll leave off taking your halo for a bit Janis: 'til you get me my 👸🏽 Jimmy: only fair Jimmy: can't fit a bobble hat over a head that big and with all that hair an' all Janis: still not getting a bowl cut Janis: let it go, babe Jimmy: good Jimmy: hard enough to fake the 😍 as you are Janis: yeah right Janis: hear the 🎻 from here Jimmy: play them like you mean them, babe Janis: if you wanted this to be easy for you Janis: should've picked an art hoe you could get properly 😍 over Jimmy: you're alright, a lass like that wouldn't be impressed by owt like a quick 🖋🎨 Janis: so now I'm TOO easy, yeah? Jimmy: not a tweet I'll be sending but Janis: fuck you either way Janis: just because I'm doing my job 🥇 you're gonna have a go Janis: thank me, more like Jimmy: fucking me regardless is something an easy lass would do 😏 Janis: yeah but I only fuck you 'cos you're the perfect little boyfriend so don't matter Janis: no one knows how much of a colossal dickhead you are, remember Jimmy: be about right Janis: you haven't bumped your head and forgotten the plan neither Jimmy: not yet, like Jimmy: but hell on earth were what you said Janis: if you get in way of a big mammy and her Christmas deals, you might be in luck of a fair smack, yeah Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: good 'cos I won't be saving you Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: entertain yourself Jimmy: easy Janis: contrary to your opinion, not obsessed with your 🍆 or what you do with it Jimmy: got an inbox full of lasses who are, I'll live Janis: yeah, you're loving it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [a picture of him waiting for her wherever the bus comes in doing his own 🙄 because he's a nerd and also he's never gonna just wait for her outside the shop when THAT ankle] Janis: Wow, if you're gonna leave, politer ways to 💔 Jimmy: ruder ways an' all Janis: idk Janis: quite rude, that Jimmy: is it? Janis: suppose I don't have to fake my 😍 at your mug right now Jimmy: there you go then Janis: Not going to say thank you still Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: you don't need to wait though Jimmy: can't chuck myself under the 🚍 til it gets in Janis: not how you wanted it Janis: or how I said I'd do it Jimmy: never said it'd 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: you want a 🦽 or what? Janis: you want matching Janis: alright Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: I quite like walking but you know Janis: as you like it Jimmy: dry your eyes, mate Jimmy: bit more nursing and you'll be well away Janis: you gonna let me go then? Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Jimmy: not gonna have a choice Janis: thought you might finish the job Janis: 🦶🪓 Jimmy: did cross my mind Janis: No shit, Kathy Janis: the kink is blatant Jimmy: you could do worse, Lucas ain't gonna let you piss about in bed all day when it's his turn Janis: 🤤🤤 Janis: I like the challenge Jimmy: #blessed Janis: counting down the days Janis: #tilwemeetagain Jimmy: 🤞 you'll have him all to yourself in detention Jimmy: no tah needed Janis: you heard anything yet? Jimmy: he ain't using that for why he's not bothered to crack on with crafting a 🐑 costume Janis: 👎 Janis: he's gonna look cute Janis: not your dad Jimmy: I get it, no need for a poor man's Lucas when you can have the real thing 🥇 Janis: something like that Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: [better show up gal] Jimmy: [resist the urge to immediately pick her up please sir] Janis: [when you're awkward like it's been ages just because there's been like a night or a day whatever reprieve love it, just like let us get to primark to get this sheep costume moment hun] Jimmy: [are we doing both on mobility scooters or him pushing her in a wheelchair/trolley because v different vibes but both iconic] Janis: [hmm, I assume their Dublin store would be big so I reckon we could go mobility scooter, you would find that more fun once you get into it too] Jimmy: [love that just don't do a me and knock a whole display of bras over yourself] Janis: [I did say we threw our bra on Mia's head so let's not reclaim that for yourself hen, though I do find them difficult to drive as someone who hasn't needed to so it will be carnage, like Primark at xmas isn't already hehe] Jimmy: [10000% am gonna say he takes off her shoes and won't give them back so instead puts on some OTT christmas slippers that are shaped like a xmas pudding or some nonsense because she's been on that ankle too much honey and we are cross] Janis: [we do not love ourselves or our lives enough to take a break so it's tea also that is amusant so yes because shan't be buying and that's the kind of mankiness you can expect from this shop or any high street one lowkey] Jimmy: [literally just gonna chuck them back on the floor or leave them in this scooter basket soz not soz, she's not walking around they won't get too trashed hens] Janis: [peeps do go feral so so can you lads, not to mention taking the piss out of all the weird things they put on clothes 'cos it do be wild] Jimmy: [they are gonna have a lovely time taking the piss out of everything and everyone tbh] Janis: [there should be peeps from school in there but like randoms so not enough to warrant a full show but as an excuse you barely need for couplish behaviour when spotted] Jimmy: [great idea cos you know there would be loads of peeps out shopping rn odds on some of them you vaguely recognise, I vote for some art hoes for the lols] Janis: [ha some art hoes out with their fam or something I live] Jimmy: [aesthetically doing the most haha] Janis: [just immaturely like there's your real girlfriend] Jimmy: [will get you with this scooter like they're bumper cars like oi] Janis: [when you don't know her name obvs so you're just shouting out really pisstakey ones like oi clem oi wren etc] Jimmy: [can't not lol] Janis: [sorry to this girl but we're not, just don't trash these scooters that we're using to bump into him/everyone/everything] Jimmy: [also not sorry for whatever he's chucking at her as the mood takes him] Janis: [just don't chuck that stripper jumper or we'll actually be raging] Jimmy: [can't wait for your jumper try on sesh when we reach that section lads] Janis: [oh lawd] Jimmy: [they should try on like onesies and all sorts so we have to have a full big disabled changing room moment] Janis: [the filmsy excuse like must you? yes obvs] Jimmy: [we live for a flimsy excuse in this era] Jimmy: [actually gutted the flatwhites aren't here because they have beds set up with xmas covers etc in the big primarks imagine the show they could've put on] Janis: [we must be prepping our low-cal xmas meal lmao] Jimmy: [Asia won't be making her sister's donkey outfit] Janis: [lmaooooooooooooooo what else can you do in a primark hmm] Jimmy: [I don't think we can get decs cos they all suck we're gonna have to steal them from elsewhere] Janis: [that fine, any other shop will have some that aren't horrific, primark might have the kind of make your own vibe that Bobby would like] Jimmy: [aww that'd be cute] Janis: [you crafty boi, you'd also know how to do it without a kit girl so if you wanna come through you can, as for primark, we probably get the vibe, unless there's anything specific we wanna say/do?} Jimmy: [I think we've covered it so you can go back to his gaff and construct this 🐑 lewk] Janis: [at least we've made your life 10x easier with this coat, also gonna be the first time you've been to his so probably just hanging about outside like am I leaving now or] Jimmy: [will carry you over the threshold like that was what was stopping you coming in even though he blatantly doesn't need help & make you tea so we can have that milk two sugars revelation] Janis: [just like sup bitch to Twix] Jimmy: [the beginning of the real love story] Janis: [not like we're pure awkward and like hi dog this I can do right at least] Jimmy: [I hope they've found a christmas jumper for you too Twix cos there's no festive cheer in this gaff] Janis: [casually assess how many decs we gotta get, also dread to think the jumpers you've ended up with] Jimmy: [give her that doodle you did and dramatically sign it like a nerd] Janis: [🙄but 😏 'get famous and I'll flog it'] Jimmy: ['you've posted it, bound to get insta famous' cue a fake dramatic scroll through his phone] Janis: ['if you have to put a word before it, it don't count' and mimes shooting him in the chest 'cos insta fame is all we have hunny] Jimmy: [does an OTT death scene] Janis: [twix will be trampling all over you like oh hey what you doing down here] Jimmy: [😒 but we secretly love her really] Janis: [just like it's your own fault boy but putting out a hand to help him up] Jimmy: [takes it and pretends like he's gonna pull her down which is accidentally saucy, remember that mud moment lads, but doesn't obvs] Janis: [😳 and lowkey pretending you're gonna drop him so he's reminded of Asia and the assault course instead] Jimmy: [puts her foot up and generally fusses like a nurse because we know it's fucked] Janis: ['you're meant to be drawing a sheep's face right now' 'cos you cannot like focus boy] Jimmy: [gets and chucks a bag of frozen peas at her so he can put a tea towel on her head like an even bigger nerd but then does get his craft on] Janis: ['downgrade' like where's me crown but staying put 'cos it'll be more fuss if you don't] Jimmy: [obvs does make her a crown that's actually decent because that bitch] Janis: [so amused 'cos impressive 'wasted on me and not quinn'] Jimmy: [takes a pic like it's not wasted now but really it's to hide our heart eyes/stop him saying something that he can't pretend is fake when there is nobody here] Janis: ['rather this than a sheep, I guess' like not a #goals lewk soz bobby it will be on you] Jimmy: [chucks all those cotton wall balls he couldn't attach at her like they are little snowballs because playfights forever] Janis: [just juggling with them like I too can be impressive lmao] Jimmy: [craft break while he tries to have a go/tries to get her to teach him how to do it because we're impressed but also competitive] Janis: [love that for y'all, I can't do it but I assume you'll at least be able to do 2 or 3 jimothy] Jimmy: [one should fall in his tea though because 💔] Janis: [devastation] Jimmy: [cue OTT pout soz for how distracting that always is] Janis: [getting up like calm down, I'll make another one, 'cos looking for an excuse to move tbh] Jimmy: [gotta push her back down into that seat before she can because sauciness forever] Janis: [just like OI but a LOOK too] Jimmy: [giving that LOOK back as standard] Janis: ['I can do it'] Jimmy: [putting out a hand to help her up for that parallel] Janis: [reluctantly taking it with a 😒 'cos omg we're fine even though we aren't but you know] Jimmy: [does the drawing a smile with his finger tip thing because if we actually touch her rn there will be no stopping us and this sheep isn't gonna finish itself] Janis: [run and make that tea gal distraction distraction] Jimmy: [likewise get crafting again jimothy] Janis: [let twix out the kitchen door 'cos she's being cray no doubt] Jimmy: [of course she is] Janis: how old is your brother Jimmy: 6 Janis: cute Jimmy: I'll pass that on Janis: the only kids I know are toddlers and babies Janis: have to be a bit less annoying at that age, right Jimmy: he's the only kid I know Jimmy: don't do my head in as much as the screaming 👶's at work Janis: yeah Janis: my oldest sister has a couple, they're nightmares Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's past it Janis: 🤞 his girlfriends are Janis: blokes never are Jimmy: depends whose arse he decides to slap at the photocopier this week Jimmy: 🤞 for a barren Sharon Janis: Christmas wish, or whatever Jimmy: @ Santa Jimmy: have a word Janis: plenty of sad christmas movies with that premise Janis: your brother really needs to be the ⭐ though Janis: you're well past it Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: every teenager on telly is played by a 35 year old, me and my crows feet are well in Janis: and I'm saying you pining for a step mum is for a whole different type of film Jimmy: dunno what you mean by that, Jenna Janis: 😇 Janis: [come back with that tea and the most dubious sure jan face] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head like tut tut] Jimmy: [sips tea in a sassy manner] Janis: ['animal' and pointedly checking out his progress] Jimmy: [imaginary watch check time lol] Janis: ['never ends, eh?' squishes his face like poor boy] Jimmy: [a shrug 'not til you kill me'] Janis: ['better put in your appearance first for the kid'] Jimmy: [nods because no fucker else is gonna do it 'whatever they're using for the baby jesus might come in handy an' all, fake kid for you to remember me by' because we think we're leaving lol] Janis: [such an unamused face 'no thank you' like you don't know how rife teen pregnancy is in this fam lol] Jimmy: [a look like yeah it won't look as fit and mysterious as me but still] Janis: ['it's always some pale ginger kid anyway'] Jimmy: [picks up Twix and wraps her up in the sofa blanket like a little bub and hands her to Janis like there you go cos looks a bit like them being white but with whirls and she was a bit gingery when she was a pup] Janis: [when you can't just yeet this dog so you have to take her and give her some love but you're like 😑] Jimmy: [squishes her face like she just did to him] Janis: [swats him away 'prick' and is on our phone like we're very busy but we just don't wanna make this bad mood more of a thing] Jimmy: [Twix just kissing her face like ILY] Janis: [can't be mad at this pup at least, in reality we just seeing where nearby does decent decs that you can go and get] Jimmy: [meanwhile we're getting the bae painkillers cos we think that's why she's cross] Janis: [shakes head, 'saw Helena earlier'] Jimmy: [shrugs like suit yourself 'tah for keeping it off the 'gram' like she's cheating on you with Helena imagine] Janis: [? then like ugh 'turns out she sells 'em so well in' she does not and we did not, the utter lies girl] Jimmy: [we're ignoring that bollocks and drinking our tea/finally finishing this sheep] Janis: [ta-da gesture 'where is he, anyway?' like neither of us can model this sheep moment adequately] Jimmy: [looks around OTT dramatically like 😱 where IS he? cos can't just answer a question] Janis: [lifts up a cushion or something like hello?] Jimmy: [cue a silly fake hide and seek] Janis: [Twix will give you away so easily lmao] Jimmy: [eventually flopping down OTT dramatically basically on top of her like you're so knackered because always taking the piss out of his stamina] Janis: [acting like he's so heavy like you're gonna kill me] Jimmy: ['not the way you wanna go'] Janis: ['is that even a question?'] Jimmy: ['didn't draw owt' because he did draw ? on her with a fingertip during the school trip and it was very flirty] Janis: ['there you go then' like no need to answer] Jimmy: 'reckon we're on our own' like there you go then for that question you asked about Bobby's whereabouts but you're still basically all up in her grill so it's accidentally flirty as well as a no shit answer] Janis: [takes a picture to be like now we ain't] Jimmy: [do a little photoshoot so you can have an excuse to make out because it's been FOREVER as far as you're concerned] Janis: [when we haven't even processed any of this lowkey] Jimmy: [it's a headfuck kids] Janis: ['did you go to school this morning, after?' 'cos saying you clearly didn't] Jimmy: ['what kind of question is that?' cos clearly didn't either, nods in the direction of the sheep costume fail like] Janis: [shrugs 'maybe you give up easy' like he came home did ten minutes and was like nah] Jimmy: [a look like very subtle challenge there babe] Janis: ['piss off' and pushing him a bit away 'cos we haven't moved evidently] Jimmy: [gets up and starts cleaning up all the crafting mess like fine I can take a hint] Janis: [ah the frustration, getting up like well then 'what time's the nativity thing?'] Jimmy: [telling her whatever time it is] Janis: ['meet you there then' and peacing] Jimmy: [so many things he wanted to say but we're not saying any of them] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby when he tries on that sheep lewk] Janis: 👍 Janis: looks pretty good I reckon Janis: he happier now? Jimmy: he's moved to 😢 Jimmy: should've kept your 👑 'cause the only 🏆'll be the FUMING mum's 💔 they never 💡🥇 of pissing about with their old clothes Janis: it's an improvement, suppose Janis: nah, could've earnt it if I committed to taking my sisters and glueing a paper plate to it Janis: 💔 oh well Jimmy: far as thankless tasks go, it's got nowt on 👴👵☕ Janis: you can wear it then Janis: have to size it up Jimmy: you gonna give me a hand or what? Janis: you did such a good job first time 'round Jimmy: without the tweet singing my praises, how would I know? Janis: if you want me to post, just say so Jimmy: if I have to tell you how to do the job, might as well do it myself Janis: fuck's sake Janis: we're literally going to clog their feeds later with all this nativity shit Janis: don't act like I ain't doing anything Jimmy: didn't have you down for a part timer but alright Janis: what you have me down as is irrelevant 'cos you don't know me Jimmy: weren't about to start a Q & A Janis: Good Janis: I know how to do the job, so do you Janis: leave it at that Jimmy: I were only pissing about, what's your problem? Janis: nothing Janis: there's just no need to do anything else Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: okay Janis: don't forget the santas hat you said he needed for jingle bells at the end Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: not worth a screenshot Janis: but I got the message, like Jimmy: what message is that? Janis: more 👏 content 👏 Jimmy: steady on, I ain't 💀👑 Janis: the point was bigger and better, weren't it Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you said nowt Janis: when did I? Jimmy: no need to do owt else, weren't it? so there's no need to make me sound like a tory slave driver Janis: just forget it, alright Jimmy: forget what? Janis: that I said anything Jimmy: or what? Janis: why would you not? Janis: there's nothing to gain from this Jimmy: might be if you stop being a dickhead and tell me what's wrong Janis: I'll just stop Janis: if you do as well Jimmy: what have I done? Janis: do you think you've done anything? Jimmy: that's not an answer Jimmy: the answer's nowt Janis: there you go then Jimmy: stopping doing nowt means doing something, so go on, what do you want? Janis: I don't want anything Janis: alright Janis: I shouldn't have slept with you Jimmy: freezing weren't how you wanted to 💀💀💀 either Janis: what Jimmy: I weren't gonna let you sleep out there on your own Janis: are you serious Jimmy: are you? Janis: you've already called me desperate for it Janis: now you think I'd just do it for the warmth and you get to be some kind of gentleman for bothering Jimmy: 1. I've said nowt of the sort 2. sort your head out if that's where you reckon mine is Janis: You said I was easy Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: that were you, for a start Janis: no it wasn't Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it was you Janis: anyway, it was a mistake Jimmy: you legged it, you're calling it a mistake, nowt to do with me, that Janis: because I'm not easy and you've got the wrong idea if you reckon that Janis: so let's stick to what is actually working and leave it Jimmy: you're being a massive dickhead Janis: and what Jimmy: and nowt's gonna work if you don't leave it out Janis: that's literally what I've said Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: how are you gonna have a go at me? Janis: you could've just shut the fuck up and it'd be fine Jimmy: how would it? Jimmy: you're sitting there 😒😤😭💔🎻 over some bollocks you reckon I said and you weren't gonna say owt Janis: don't take the piss Jimmy: or what? Jimmy: that's what you've been doing all day, mate Janis: fuck off have I, I've been helping you out Jimmy: suffering in silence 'cause I'm such a bastard, more like Jimmy: have a 🏆 Janis: you're the one being dramatic, I didn't say that Janis: I just didn't appreciate what you did, that's it Jimmy: you spent ages with me after I apparently called you a massive slag, what else do you call that? Janis: I was already on my way Janis: what am I gonna do, actually turn the bus around, no Jimmy: not be a doormat Jimmy: there's your mistake if you're looking for one, Jodie Janis: fuck you Jimmy: this is me being a prick since you need a hand working out the difference Janis: stop talking to me Jimmy: stop putting words in my mouth Janis: I didn't Jimmy: I don't think you're easy Janis: right Jimmy: Why would I? Jimmy: don't flatter yourself, alright, my benchmark for that is set at fucking half the north Jimmy: and even then, you'd have to really be dating me to get me to give a shit about it Janis: I didn't ask you to give a shit, nor do I want you to Janis: and it's hardly flattering but doormat is worse so yeah Janis: go away now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I hope your brother doesn't totally hate it Jimmy: don't bother wasting your christmas wish Janis: well, he'll be fine, there are worse things than stage fright Jimmy: don't waste the reassurance on me either Janis: Jesus, whatever then Jimmy: there's nowt worse than having no parents about when every other dickhead does Janis: Yeah Janis: he won't be the only one Janis: and at least someone is there at all Jimmy: tah for that Janis: it's the truth Jimmy: most helpful you've been, pointing that out Janis: well what Janis: what else would you want me to say Janis: it's shit Jimmy: I didn't ask for you to say owt about it Janis: so you brought it up to what Janis: get a 👍 or 👎 Jimmy: you brought it up Jimmy: reckoning you know what's our kid's problem how you reckon you know what I think Janis: no, I was going Janis: I was literally just saying hope he doesn't have a terrible time Janis: don't have a go at me 'cos your dad ain't going Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I'm having a go at you 'cause you're doing my head in Janis: then I'll be going Janis: we don't need to talk to each other Janis: right now or barely at all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: when we need to do more fake shit, then we'll do it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: you know where I live Janis: Yep Janis: later Jimmy: [not gonna reply cos have a nativity to get ready for] Janis: [ah soz for the mess that has been made everyone, gutted we will not see the sheep costume in action] Jimmy: [how dare you arseholes ruin my festive fluff] Janis: [my boo is fuming, at least we can force you together easily enough after, and you did help with the costume] Jimmy: [we've ticked that and jumpers off the list, well done us]

[spotaus]

Alright *cracks knuckles* time to get into my favorite chunk of worldbuilding central >:]

Ohh yeah, you got it perfect- I like to think Killer was the one who caught the knife, like, for dramatic affect probably an inch or two before it would've hit Dream straight in his socket (For narrative fun, maybe the same socket Nightmare is blind in because of Dream's actions earlier in the story). And Killer reels it back and sits back in his seat trying to hold in the sign of relief that he caught that because *holy shit* that was close??? Bonus points if he wasn't even paying attention (busy flirting w/ Ccino) and his alarm-bells went off in his head. He hands the knife back to Cross cross the table, but. Wooooo. And yeah, Cross won't ever let it go! He deserves to hold a grudge, and deserves to not have to forgive, because Dream did an unforgivable thing in his mind! Raugh!!!

Gonna be quick on this because I want to dig into the magic system, but- Yes! Horror and Cross get to have this nice, respectful, conversation where Horror lets him down gently instead of letting it go on (And I'm glad you noticed the note about it being before Crop! Because, yeah, Horror was never interested in Cross and probably never would be, and he's the kinda guy to just nip that kinda thing in the bud!) Now I'm thinking he and Horror have this silly brotherhood pact where they agree to talk about their love-lives with each other (usually just Cross tho) outside of Killer's earshot. So maybe Horror knew the Lust thing all along, and acts surprised when Killer finds out, and they never tell anyone-

His infatuation w/ Ccino at this exact moment in the story is exactly right! Ccino's starting to recover, and he's not picture-book style pretty, but there's still something Cross just adores (spoiler, he's still extremely pretty, but he also seems happy and healthy-). And yeah. Dream was handsome in the sort of Storybook Prince kinda way, and definitely had Cross wrapped around his finger w/o trying, but Cross never felt like Dream was in his league to begin with, so his crush was like a kid crushing on a celebrity lol-

And omg you're killing me with the Lust bit!! Ough it's so on point! Cross being so so flustered and obliterated that it's actually going his way, and Lust just being glad that Cross was the one to bridge that gap (because I mean, they managed to be friends a little, but Lust is a professional, he doesn't flirt (intentionally) on the clock!) so he got the opportunity and pounced on it! Ohh they're so so cute...

HAH- Dude I'm so so glad you found it funny because I was writing the drabble and I was like "I hate to be a malicious author, but also I can't let Cross hear about how good it is here, because the Guard usually don't actually hate it.... Oh! Lying man :]" And then chuckled about it writing the entire rest of the drabble! Misinformation that's completely unbounded! Love him for that!

Oh I love the idea that the rest of the staff find him so so funny and mess around and tell stories with him! Shep is actually a beloved member of the castle, if only because he can't stop lying and it adds an extra layer of drama to the castle when things are like. Super tame now that Night's in charge. (No affairs, new mates, burned cities, sacrifice nights, nothing! They have to entertain themselves somehow!) Shep is basically the unofficial Bard... And yeah, Night and everyone knowing his tells like second nature- So casual- (Night loves Ccino's cats. he might not know all their names, but he does make an effort to make it into a little paradise for them! No sub-par toys or food!) And dudeeeee. The idea of Shep coming to visit and Cross having just found out about the lying like a day prior being, "yeah?? I'm bad??? You lied to me!!" and Shep just being like, 'That's what I do, yeah. Back to the spying thing?' gods I love them-

Okay!!! Magic system!!! (Actually, first: The Bet was probably something along the lines of a challenge for their next training (deeply unserious). Like, whoever lost would have to do their next training session wearing a dress or a blindfold or smth. (Dust agreed because he knew he'd win, and Killer loves an excuse to do fun silly stuff that makes them have good memories together :] )

Okay. Now magic system. HOLY SHIT when I read this this morning I was sitting in my classes rotating this around in my head- Yes, first off! Entering Nim's stupid weather-repellant land totally saved his life, or at least made it better! His survival relied on way way too many chance decisions and happenings, because I do like the idea that Dust could've gotten fried by accident by his soul when he was still too young to absorb the excess the shocks gave to him- And OH GOD the idea that Dust knows how it feels to dust??? without knowing it??? feral of you, I love it so dearly. We're back to shaking you for enrichment because!!!! That gave me chills in such a cool cool way- The spell always revives him in time, it's always there, and he always feels a little better, so he assumes it's his own brand of monster fatigue or some other weird thing that he doesn't have time to figure out rn because he has work to do (Crime Lord, Knight, etc).

The concept that the only way to kill him is a super powerful sint-magic field is my favorite ever and we're putting that one into the books- And using a lil silly from your Drabble, I love the idea that he gets tired after the spell leaves his body by even a short distance for too long, and by that measure I like to think that when he was imprisoned? The only reason he wasn't initially fighting to get out (or causing a storm) is because the dampeners literally told his spell to shut up, and the spell had the choice to either Support Dust (which it chose) or to try and break him out and risk killing him in the process. He starts off really oddly relaxed for a smart crime-lord criminal, and has less energy than one would expect. It's kinda assumed that the longer he's back up and moving and getting used to trusting Night that he just got some kick back in his step, but it was actually the dampeners being removed that restored his energy!

The vision of him getting downed w/ a hit to the soul (Everyone knows he's a glass cannon, and they know the horrific sound of a breaking soul) and no one can get to him in time before they start seeing his form shake and shimmer like it's ready to dust. And then. Just the loudest sound of lightning cracking, bright light from his ribcage (glowing through his clothes), and just like you said, he gasps and sits back up before getting right back to attacking? He assumes it was a weird fluke, he got hit in the head and blacked out. Everyone else is panicking and feels sick because??? What the hell??? Monsters don't do that? Souls don't do that?? Dust??????

And ofc we've kinda already touched on this bit, but yeag. I love the idea so so much that magic looks different to everyone. That the intent is always the same but the actual appearance depends on how any one magic-user processes their own magic. And I love Error and Geno's perspectives and the way you framed them!!!

The note of the og mage not even recognizing their own work is so cool to me too, because you're right! That's Dust's now! For all intents and purposes, I bet that mage thinks Dust is dead (which is why this didn't make big news). They tried to come back to check up a few times (after Dust finally woke up and stablized) and his family allowed it to ensure their little boy was going to be alright, but then Dust ran away, and the Mage just assumed Dust ran away to die like a wounded animal (I think the mage had mostly good intentions, but they were also very un-confident in Dust's survival rate). Dust's spell is his own creation now, and the og mage would probably look at it and deny their involvement, because that's not their magic. Simple as that. (To Mages who studied? magic has a set form it takes and stays in once they set it, so Dust's conundrum is one of a billion reasons why Geno is so invested-)

And yeah, The others walk in and are just super duper confused, because Dust swore he had things under control- He was definitely visibly still surprised himself when the others showed up and he was still trying to figure out exactly why his magic just auto-fried the guy- And yes! They keep Dust there as a guard because they're 90% sure Cross could control any other magic and escape if he had the chance, despite the cuffs, so they're putting the one they Know can effectively counter-attack him in charge of ensuring he stays contained! (i love that Cross thinks of magic like Orders and Commands btw, that is a GENIUS look at it!! This magic system is so so cool and I'm glad you were inspired because I am eating this up.....)

Lastly: Yeah, Error is positive he made the right choice in claim on big brothers. I mean! Error explodes things, Dust explodes things, they're the explosion brothers :D

New Age AU (Cross' Spy Adventures)

Hi guys! I'm back! This one has been eating at me so forgive me if it's a bit rougher than the others, but I hope you still enjoy! (And if plot details don't seem to line up? Remember Cross has no clue what's going on yet :] )

Context: Cross has been asked by Dream to do recover information on his brother's next plans of attack. He's not a very good spy.

(Hi to @ancha-aus @papiliovolens and @mutzelputz !!!)

Stars this place was big.

He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be on a castle grounds after so many years roughing it with Ink. Inns and taverns and tents. He wasn't sure how much he enjoyed being back in the throes of the rich and powerful's estates.

The cart-ride with the other new recruits had been pleasant enough, they were all decently friendly guys. A few were putting on that tough-guy facade, but none of them could've been older than 25. Fresh off the press, practically. Perfect soldiers to be brainwashed.

Cross had laughed and joked with them about what life in the castle might be like. How different it would be from the old daily grind. How maybe they'd pick up a hot partner in town on their patrols. How they hoped they'd eat like kings.

Though, Cross noticed that each of them got cagey when word of the King resurfaced. One birdish-monster mourned that she couldn't have served the last King, Nim, before she passed on to join the gods. Another spoke of the honor it would bring for him to serve the blood of Nim.

They seemed averse to even acknowledging King Nightmare's existence. Aside from his connection to Nim.

Now, the chatter was all silent, and Cross was among the many new soldiers who were ogling the castle as they passed around its outer wall and entered through a side gate.

It was, admittedly, impressive.

His own home kingdom had less of a castle, more of a monolith. It had been dense, and tall, and impossibly smooth. His father couldn't stand imperfection.

This castle was almost the exact opposite of what Cross had always known. The walls imperfect and overlapping, rather than brick it looked like it had burst straight up from the ground. Bumpy and imperfect and natural, and yet beautiful and structurally stable. He didn't linger on it, but he wanted to so badly.

Instead, he drew his attention ahead. To where a man stood, his armor decorated in the marks which indicated him as a reporting officer.

This man, a human with a crooked nose and a thick, black, beard held up a hand, and the driver of the cart tugged at his reigns, the horses pulling to a slow stop.

One by one, once given the signal, the soldiers filed out. Stating their rank, their camp of origin, and their name.

Cross was middle of the pack, and saluted the human as Dream had taught him and as everyone had done before him.

"1st Year Guard, Pierson Camp, Z." He reported.

He was not proud of his code-name. It physically hurt to say it with a straight face, but when he'd been talking about needing a new code name, Ink had excitedly suggested it.

Z, he'd said, Like 'X' but not! And Cross hadn't been able to shut the idea down when Dream had giggled and tapped his cheekbone, the spot just under his eyelight that held is scar.

Dream had called it fitting, and it'd been settled in a heartbeat.

Cross managed to say it aloud without any hint of suspicion and was waved off to join his fellow recruits.

They lined up haphazardly, but didn't dare to do more than grin and snicker between eachother at. Well. Anything, it seemed. They were taking this very casually compared to what Cross had been expecting.

Though, the moment the captain was done looking to the cart for any stragglers, he turned. The soldiers all went still and aligned themselves.

Cross wondered how they survived training if they goofed off like that so readily.

He watched as the cart which had brought them circled away, and he listened carefully as the man introduced himself.

"I am Captain Rogers. Your platoon will report to me for any and all management. I control your training schedules, your mealtimes, and your work hours." He called out to them, right there on the lawn "you are here today to serve the blood of the gods, and by Nim's watch you will not slack on your oath. No matter how much you loathe it here. Understood?"

Such a bold declaration of... unrest.

The soldiers, one by one, gave affirmative nods and salutes, Cross making sure he wasn't the first. He didn't want to seem too eager.

The captain led them about.

He asked for them to stay in formation, and Cross ended up towards the middle of the pack yet again, just close enough to hear the explanations of their duties, places on the grounds they were allowed to go, and what their daily routine was meant to be like.

Near the stables, they paused briefly, and the Captain was taking an extra long time explaining that the horses in the stables were not to be ridden without explicate orders from him or another commanding officer.

Cross couldn't help but notice the guys ahead of him whispering about something, and Cross followed their miniscule gestures off to the left.

A black cat, wirey and short-hair. It was standing in the shadow of a fence, and he didn't think he would've spotted it if it weren't for its big, green eyes. They were like little saucers in its head.

It was staring straight at him. Tail flicking. One ear twitched.

Cross tried to ignore it, but when he'd glance back, it was still there.

Until, suddenly, it wasn't.

By the time they moved on, it was nowhere in sight.

His old home hadn't had many animals, especially not roaming cats. He wondered if it was a 'barn cat'. Blue had explained the concept to him once.

Regardless, that thing was freaky.

Finally, after what felt like hours of walking, the Captain announced that their last stop of the night would be to their quarters.

He could practically feel the relief rolling off of the guys next to him, and it took am effort to let his shoulders sag even an inch in imitation. The guy next to him looked like he might fall over, and Cross shared none of that exhaustion.

They would start their assignments bright and early in the morning, each of them would have a more experienced guard join them as a guiding measure before they were left to the duties themselves.

A much kinder grace period than Cross had been expecting, honestly.

The Captain escorted them down the halls, long and twisting. Each one held soldiers out of uniform, turning in for the night, going through their routines. As well as some moving out for the night shift. They ignored the rookies as they kept to their own business.

The Captain swung a door open, only to immediately block the soldiers in front from entering the space of relaxation beyond.

"Ah, Ccino, I was worried we'd missed you." The Captain spoke up.

"Soldiers, back up. Stand at attention." Came an order next.

Cross was faster than the others in recognizing the order, but forced himself to wait until the others stumbled into him to start moving. He wasn't sure why they were getting into this stance, but he knew better than to start asking questions.

They all stood in the hall, and Cross caught a few snickers from nearby lounging guards as the rookies stood there.

"The King called upon me, so I wasn't able to meet you where we had planned," a softer, calm, voice rang, "I figured I would run into you here before you turned in for your first night."

The Captain stood before them, and beside him, exiting the barracks, was a monster.

Cross tried not to stare, but he couldn't deny that this was odd. He'd never known a captain to bend to anyone but a higher up. But...

This skeleton was dressed in a servant's uniform. Granted, it was made of a thick, soft-looking brown and tan fabric, with an apron with more embroidery than he thought he'd ever seen in his life, but it was nothing too out of place.

Surely it wasn't a Knight. No, he'd been told they wore masks. He could tell this skeleton was not a Knight. He could see the full skull, soft and gentle, calm eyelights, and a body Cross swore had never seen a single battle.

No. Cross, stop that.

He didn't tear his eyes away, but he forced himself to look back to the skeleton's shoulder. No eye-contact, but still facing him. Good.

"Soldiers, This is our Head of House, Ccino." The Captain gestured to the skeleton at his side.

The soldiers all remained silent, and the captain nodded.

"If Ccino ever gives you any sort of order, you listen." The Captain's voice was harsh with this, the same way he'd spoken about the horses, and the kitchen, and the private training rooms they'd passed. "No questions, no hesitation, no disobeying. You understand?"

The squint of the Captain's eyes were more than enough for Cross to know better than to ask. Something like this was unfamiliar, for sure, but he knew when a soldier was saying something he truly believed in. Lived by. For better or worse.

None of the other recruits seemed to speak up. Cross certainly didn't. He tried not to let his nerves show as this skeleton, Ccino, let's his soft white eyelights skim softly from one soldier to the next. When they came to him, he desperately avoided the gaze, practically staring a hole into the soft fur scarf wrapped around his neck, hiding his spine from view.

"It's a pleasure to meet all of you," That calm voice again, "As you heard, my name is Ccino. I manage the Castle, it's grounds, and the people who stay within our walls. This includes all if you, as of tonight."

He seemed rather put-together. Pleasant. Cross didn't feel any unease. He was positive, now, that this was not a Knight. Yet, he couldn't figure out why such a monster would be held in such high regard, unless, of course...

"As you heard, our King trusts my decisions regarding these matters, which is why he asks you listen to my requests. However, I don't abuse this privilege, and it shouldn't dissuade you from coming to me if you have any problems." Ccino pulled his arms to cross infront of him, and once again looked over the recruits. "You may be our guard, but that does not mean you shouldn't recieve help as well. If you cannot find me, ask another servant and they will get word to me."

Ccino seemed... kind. That had to be it.

The sparkle of admiration in the captain's eyes. The way some of the soldiers watched. Maybe Ccino was the golden light in this dark place? Though, that didn't seem quite right.

"Stick to your duties, remain diligent, and you will be cared for here." He said softly. "Now, stand down and go rest. Your training tomorrow will be thorough, and you will need the extra sleep."

Oh.

Cross recognized the order, and his body moved a bit before his mind could catch up. He relaxed, as much as he naturally could, and took a step. Toward the barracks. Then paused and glanced like a deer in the headlights to the Captain and the Head of House.

Ccino just smiled, and the Captain seemed stoic.

"Seems Z gets first dibs on the cots!" The Captain announced, and with his approval, humor seeping into his tone a bit, and laughter echoing from the older guard who'd been observing?

Cross made the quick duck into the room and grabbed for the first cot he saw. Bottom bunk, closest to the door, the easiest way he'd be able to leave the long room of bunk beds.

The others hurried in after him, some laughing, others cursing jokingly at Cross having noticed the test first.

The test.

Of course it'd been a test. A test to see if they'd recognize Ccino as an authority figure. A test to see if they took the warning seriously. Cross just listened to the superior officer. And... put himself in the limelight of excelling new recruits.

If there was one good thing, though it was mortifying, the others didn't seem to notice what it was. They were too busy teasing Cross for the grape blush that enveloped his face the moment he sat to think it over. The others assumed he'd just slipped up. Listened to the prettiest person in the room.

Once again, Cross wondered how they'd made it through training. Though, it was good they just thought he was a stupid lover boy. Better than them realizing he was following orders on instinct.

It'd been a hard sell, getting to sleep, but he'd managed somehow.

.

The morning was much easier than the night prior. He woke up before the sun, before a lot of the others even showed signs of stirring. It was good he got up so early, sneaking off probably wouldn't be much of an issue.

Tomorrow, then. He'd do his sneaking tomorrow, after he got a lay of the land today. From what they'd been told, he'd be supervised today. Everyone would. It was different from what the Prince had told him, but it didn't matter. Policies could change, and Cross knew better than to disobey new policies.

The castle inside felt like a maze yesterday, he'd hopefully have routes inside, so he'd be able to memorize at least a few escapes. Orient himself. Worst case he could break a window.

He didn't want to leave any trace, though. The best scenario, as Dream had explained it, was that he'd get in, get the information, and get out. A week, maybe a week and a half tops. Cross wanted to spend as little time here as possible. He didn't want to fall into whatever mind-control he'd been warned of. He didn't want to run into the Knights. He certainly didn't want to see Dream's twin.

Though, he was curious. What he looked like. If he could see the sibling resemblance between the Prince and his supposedly brainwashed ruler of a sibling. It was honestly none of his business. If the King never saw his face, that would be all the better. He shouldn't know Cross was ever here at all.

The thoughts swirled in hid head as he stared at the bottom of the cot above his. Wood slats, the whole thing was sturdy wood, with decent mattresses and blankets and pillows resting on its support. It didn't creak at all, which was good. And surprising. Everything in the castle seemed so nice.

Mm, must've been a thing for the people here. Serve the 'gods' and live in luxury. It certainly seemed that was how the Prince's camp had run as well.

Cross couldn't be sure how long he was awake, examining the room and sitting still, but the sun managed to rise into the sky by the time he'd heard the slamming knock on the door to the barracks.

It was easy for him. When the Captain swung the door wide open and announced, in a hardy shout, that they were to be in the hall in 5? Cross rolled out of bed the moment the door closed again.

It pained him to move so slowly. He couldn't be the first one out again. Couldn't be the first one dressed. He didn't know why it took so long for the others to change to their uniforms and rub the sleep from their eyes. Monsters and humans alike! They hustled, some of them, and Cross was grateful a cat monster seemed to gather herself more readily than the others. An orange striped cat, her nose and the tip of her tail a stark white. Cross only noticed her when she rushed for the door, and he let himself trail her a moment later.

Thinking back, she'd been at the back of the group yesterday, joking with some of the others. Cross wondered what the energy change was all about.

He didn't get time to worry about it, though. The hall outside the barracks was busier than it had been last night, and Cross found himself facing, not only the Captain, but also several guards. They each seemed to be in full uniform, different than Cross' or the cat's which marked them as trainees. They seemed stoic before their captain, and Cross almost felt a moment if relief. Maybe this was a decent show of artillery?

No, wait, strong soldiers would be bad for the Prince. He'd have to get through these guys.

He shook away the thought, listening in as he stood awkwardly in the hall, another recruit lumbering out to stand where he'd joined the cat already.

The Captain looked them over, before nodding.

"Harper, you're with Jenna." The Captain ordered, pointing from the cat before gesturing towards one of the guard directly behind him.

Cross tried not to let his eyelights give away his observance as the guard stepped around her captain. She seemed to be a bunny monster, lots of fur and long, floppy ears tied behind her head. She, Jenna, saluted the cat, Harper, and Harper saluted in return.

"Listen to what your mentor tells you, got it?" The Captain asked, and Cross saw a few others exiting as he said this.

Those who started moving down the hall, and the Capatin looked to Cross. It was a kick glance, one look-over, before he turned and looked over his shoulder.

"Z, you're with Shep." And a gesture guided Cross towards whoever his mentor for the day would be.

From nearly the back of the crowd, snaked a dog monster. Black and white, short-trimmed fur. His eyes were brown and intense, and after a moment Cross realized this guard was shorter than him. He didn't like that when Shep saluted, he had to peer down to salute back.

He hardly even registered that they were already moving off, not unlike the two before them had done, until he'd taken a few steps to follow this small royal guard.

"So, you're Z?" Shep asked him as they stopped a few halls away. This one was largely barren aside from a few servants. Along each wall hung a huge tapestry, woven out of heavy threads and hung by a long piece of metal along the top edge.

"Yes, sir." Cross responded shortly. Not giving himself a moment to stammer.

Shep looked at his quizzically, before he leaned forward and sniffed. Actually just sniffed at Cross. It was still a few inches away, they didn't make contact, but suddenly he worried he was stinky. He's bathed before hopping on the cart, and he hadn't been exercising much, surely-

"Ah, you're not from this Kingdom! Not originally, at least." Shep said then, leaning away just as quickly as he'd gotten close.

Cross blinked, and he was sure his skull didn't hide his shock as well as he'd hoped. "I can smell the pollen on you, newbie. We don't have those kinda plants in this kingdom." He explained, and Cross internally cursed himself. Would he have to run? Would he have to-

"You know, I'm not from this kingdom either, I was born to the west." Shep admitted then, easily, using a paw to gesture loosely at the space between them, "I bet we'll get along just fine, newbie. C'mon. I'll show you around your route."

Cross didn't even get a spare second to defend himself, or puzzle at why a foreign monster would choose to come here. Shep was already on his way, back turned and hurrying down the hall at a brisk pace.

"As far as I know You're gonna be taking over my old route, inner portion of the castle." Cross listened, but orders were his second nature. As they walked, he eyed the tapestries hung along the wall. Long and intense, and yet, there was a moment where Cross could see the colors were more faded and worn.

"You'll mostly just be patrolling, watching out for anything out of the ordinary, waiting to see if you're needed for any specific duties." The images showed monsters, humans, monsters again. Depictions of complex circles and red splashes dripping from weapons and hands. And he noticed a trend, eventually. These must've been the previous rulers. The past Kings.

"Your patrols will be alone, the rooms in the hall aren't too important, and it's mostly servants that pass through that way." Cross almost lost his rhythm as they drew to the end of the tapestry, though the hall kept moving. There on the tapestry was a depiction of two little skeletons, one which seemed strikingly similar to Prince Dream, even in his adulthood. Beyond, the tapestry simply stopped. It was odd that King Nightmare hadn't bothered to get it finished with his own visage. Maybe his puppetmaster was waiting to put himself there instead?

"Still important, anyways. The servants halls are the easiest ways in and out of the castle, so we can't slack off." They turned a corner, and Cross pried his eyes away from the tapestry and back before him.

They passed a few more halls, before Shep stopped dead in his tracks, and Cross reacted quickly, spotting the way he peaked around the next corner.

Across the way, Cross spotted that they'd run into another pair who had also stopped. Only when Shep saluted did Cross think to follow his lead.

From the hall he couldn't see, emerged a figure.

Cross kept his eyelights to the ground, but the steps, the shoes, the heavy cape, and especially the dark and slimey tendrils which snaked along in his wake? That was the King. The one Dream had been so particular about not running into at all.

Two sets of feet followed him. Closely. He didn't have to look up to recognize that they must've been Knights. The easy weight of their steps, how close they stuck behind the king, the weight of the one's magic? Surely. He didn't risk a glance until after Shep lifted his head again. Cross only caught a glimpse of a tiger mask turning another corner before the three figures were gone.

In the tense silence, Cross swore he could hear his soul beating. He wasn't sure if it was fear, or indignance, or something else, but he knew being so close to the King had not made him feel good. Dream had been right, something about that guy was wrong.

Shep glanced around, and his ear twitched, watching down the hall where they'd left to.

The group across from them was already moving, towards the hall Cross had just cone from.

"You know, you kids are lucky Newbie." Shep voiced then, eying up the human rookie who was passing by. "When I first joined the guard, the King cut my tail off to prove my loyalty."

He said it so easily that Cross was speechless. What did he mean? Was. His tail was docked, but...

"What?!" The panicked whisper came from the passing humans who had obviously been eavesdropping. He expressed the concern coating Cross's soul and freezing him in place.

"Yep. I heard he used it as a cat toy for the strays." Shep confirmed loosely.

"Shep." Came the snap of his name from the other trained guard, though they didn't move to deny his claim.

Cross hadn't heard anything about that from Dream. Of course, he also hadn't heard about this introduction process either. He was flying blindly here, and suddenly he feared for his limbs.

Shep simply shrugged and kept moving forward. Cross wanted, badly, to excuse himself right this moment and go back and claim he couldn't do it. But he was here now, and he had a Prince to help. And a whole lot of people relying on him to prevent more tragedies.

The training wasn't hard. Shep stood with him, made small-talk, told him all the tricks to ensure he knew when someone would switch off with him, and then they had lunch.

He hated to admit it, but the food was delicious. He hadn't had something so filling in... maybe ever. He couldn't put his finger on it, not quite, but for monster food, it felt solid. Warmer. He felt less hungry after, and a part of him wondered if that was how they did it. The mind control. Was it the food?

But, no, surely not. He was still set on his mission when he went right back to his rounds. The food was just... strangely good.

The rest of the rounds were easy. Simple. And there was at least an hour after where Shep willingly guided him through the rest of the building. At least, anywhere he could.

Cross noticed, once, that Shep broke a rule. He ducked into the kitchen. Returned to a surprised Cross with two pieces of bread and handed one to Cross before tearing into his own. Apparently, from what Shep said, the main kitchen wasn't off-limits. Not really. Just the private one.

He didn't ask about the difference, he wouldn't need to know, after all. He doubted plans of attack were stached in the cupboards of a pantry.

And just as swiftly as it had begun, it ended. Shep said he'd be around the training grounds tomorrow if Cross needed him, and released him to dinner. After Dinner, Cross went back to the barracks.

Many of the rookies were talking all about their routes, others complaining that they had gotten cleaning duties for being the last out of the barracks that morning. They'd start training tomorrow. Cross tried not to contribute much, but he liked listening in. Understanding more about the place. The people.

It sounded like the King had crossed quite a few of their paths as well, and they didn't seem happy about it. Discussing in hushed tones how weird the King was compared to the last. Dark, secretive, hardly even a ruler. Cruel. He heard the human from before shamelessly telling Shep's tail misfortune to the gathered group, who all seemed to be riled up by it, exchanging other horrible speculations.

He needed to get this information. He just... he couldn't do anything until the others were asleep. So. Morning it would be.

.

Cross was a coward.

He knew as much, deep down somewhere, but as he woke up early again, he thought through his plan. He didn't know where he'd find any of this information he needed, he didn't know anything beyond his own route. He didn't even know what he'd be finding. He'd know when he found it, he was sure, but the last thing he wanted to do was get caught

He should've excused himself during dinner to go search around, or chosen a buddy to go wandering with. Shep had told him some things, he knew the room where the Knights trained was the indoor room, and he knew some areas no one went to. He knew the hall where the Knights and King stayed, Cross found it interesting they all stayed nearby, and he'd promised himself he'd avoid the space like the plague. He knew so much, and so little, all at once.

And he waited, thinking, so long that he... he just got up as the others did. Moved to his station to rotate shifts with the night guards. He just... did his duties again.

Well, they weren't his duties. He had no obligation to be here, not really. But the Prince had told him a week. A week and a half. That would make the most sense for an in and out. So, he wanted to respect that. And he had orders now to act out. Surely if he slacked off it'd be noticed, right? Yeah. He'd just slip away before dinner and say he went to train a bit more. Peak into some doorways. No biggy. Surely.

He worried about what he'd do to pick up a slack he hadn't even lost, all day. All through his rounds. If he showed it, his replacement at his last post said nothing, and waved him off.

Cross wanted so desperately to go searching. But. Before he could pass by the hall which would lead to the mess hall for the servants and guard? He glimpsed them from down the adjoining hall.

Two of the Knights.

One with a hood obscuring his face, casting a heavy shadow over everything, his eyelights a dull white. Though he didn't see a mask at first glance, Cross had to make some assumptions based on the one beside him that they were both Knights.

The other had on leather training armor, and a tiger's mask, red ribbons hanging from it, swaying with weight. He could see the skeleton's grin peaking from beneath the mask, and noticed how the tiger draped an arm over the other and laughed.

Cross didn't even give them a second to notice him, swiftly stepping out of the corridor and towards the dining halls after all. He didn't want to get in the way. He didn't want to be on their radar.

He needed to know when they trained. When they'd all be occupied so he wouldn't have to worry about them catching him off-guard.

Off guard. Ink would be having a hayday with that one if he'd made that joke back at camp.

Cross just kept moving forward, ducking into the dining space before the Knights even reached that hall.

.

Three days. It took him 6 whole days to learn more. To learn where the information might be. To learn where the Knights usually were at any given time. To learn how to navigate the place better. To not worry about getting caught.

He'd gone back to Shep one day, to test if he'd be told to go off the dinner or if he'd be sought out. He was not, so he had his proof that no one cared so long as he was doing his rounds.

He'd sat and talked. Asked about the Knights. (Shep had little to say that Cross didn't already know). Asked about training. (Shep said he was always out here now, running routines.) Asked about the king.

And Shep was interested about him asking on the King. Cross almost fumbled, but said he'd heard a lot of rumors. Shep had been here a while. What was true?

And Shep told him stories. In a low voice. Of the King breaking spines, of throwing objects with his tendrils, of sentencing folks to death over minor transgressions. Of his ruthless rule and cruel first. How he brought in servants and guards by force. Ripping them from their homes. How the king would declare traitors and have them hung.

Eventually, Cross asked him to stop. He'd heard enough.

Some of those things he'd heard from Dream, or the folks back at that encampment. Others were new. Insider information. Things he'd never dreamed of.

It was informational, and Cross decided that he'd keep learning more, until he was sure he had the perfect moment to strike.

.

He wasn't the smartest, okay?

Cross had done his rounds, and the moment he was done, he scurried off towards his destination.

He paid no mind to servants or guards, and used a servant's hall to arrive in the location he needed. The hall where the King's Study was located.

Yesterday he'd investigated the war room. Entering and closing the doors behind him, the room had been a mess of papers and figures and notes. The maps of each neighboring kingdom alone were strewn on walls, like the ravings of a mad-man. None of them had plans of attack, though. The light from his eyelights had been enough to illuminate each one as he approached. Every single one was a new defensive plan. Ways to deploy troops if they were attacked. Not one seemed unprovoked which was... strange.

Cross was almost unable to find any sign of the King's next route of action for his destructive feats, so he was resigned to search the study tomorrow. His only solace was that exiting the War Room had only been met with a servant a ways down the hall, and a cat pacing by, paying him no mind.

The cats in this place were many. Cross had never seen so many cats in one place, and when he'd asked at dinner, it seemed that everyone thought they belonged to the Head of House, Ccino.

It would make sense, Cross had seen the embroidery along his apron, plenty of paws and cat-like figures along the hemlines, between the branch and tree motif the entire building seemed set on holding tight to. But, it amazed him that there would be so many, allowed to run free. The King must've been very lenient with his Head of House, to allow so many creatures free-roam.

...then again, the Knights wore masks decorated with Big Cats. Cross had finally caught a glimpse of the Lion, out on the lawn while he was talking to Shep. He carried an Axe twice the size of Cross' torso, and he seemed to wield it with hardly any problem. Cross just hoped the little beasts weren't being sacrificed. He'd heard about the barbaric practices from Ink once when he had his head on straight. He hadn't had the guts to bring it up to the Prince. Or Shep. Fearing the answer.

And so, now, he moved for the study. When he knew no one would be around, when no one would see him or bother him. He could dig through the information, tuck it away in his ribcage, and get out of dodge.

It was mid-day. Apparently the Knights tended to have training about now, and the King always supervised. So the forbidden hall, as the others called it, was dead and silent.

It wasn't hard to determine which door was the study, the door was carved carefully with a beautiful tree, and the handle was a shining gold, as though it got less use than the other rooms. He tested the handle, it moved, and he slipped inside.

Of course it wouldn't be locked. Who would have the guts to go snooping around in the private spaces of murderous tyrant kings? Well. Cross would, but that was besides the point.

The inside was lit by a few stray candles, and Cross tried not to marvel at the luxury of the room. Everything was carved out of dark wood, with golden fabric lacing the cushions of lounge seats and the curtains which covered the windows. It was darker, used, but still gorgeous. The daylight filtered in through an open window, giving it a warm ambience. Cross didn't know how a room used by such an unpleasant man would be so calm and soft.

There was a case along one wall, large and long. Hung inside were masks of all different shapes and styles. Some were decorated with swirls and gems, but most resembled animals. A crane, a swan, a horse, a sheep, a hawk, a wolf, they all stared out at him with blank, empty, sockets. He wondered if these were used or not, but they seemed untouched.

And beside that case, in the far corner, sat a heavy desk, with bookshelves filled to the brim tucked just behind it.

The desk was heavy, and it looked to be covered with papers, letter drafts, just a quick glance over the contents told Cross this was just what he needed.

He stood behind the desk, unable to stop himself from lifting the papers up into his hands. From here he could see the door, as well. He'd know if someone was coming.

The first paper he looked at seemed to be the draft of a letter, addressed to someone by the name of Crop. The handwriting was beautiful, and Cross was lucky Ink knew how to write in so many dialects, or he'd have trouble deciphering exactly what this was saying. The cursive was precise. And... it seemed a half-finished letter asking about plants. The state of a harvest? No, that's strange.

Cross lifted the few pages which had been tucked beneath the first, confused. These ones seemed to be written in a much more unsure writing, but they held what he could only call sketches. Showing clouds and plants and... fields? Cross wasn't familiar with farming, but he could recognize a field anywhere. The paper had a few words underlined and circled, and they seemed to be later additions, added overtop by someone else. The words seemed to be mentioned again in the letter draft? It was completely innocuous. If this was the King's letter, he was just asking about the wellbeing of a farmer's harvest. Asking about improvements.

He moved them hastily into a stack and set them aside, reaching for the next haphazard bundle of paper. That couldn't have been right.

The next piece he scooped up was in that same pretty cursive, but this time it wasn't a letter. Instead it was some sort of list. Locations, some crossed off, and some untouched. Was this what he was searching for? Surely this was it.

He moved to grab the next page that had been beneath it. It held more context, it seemed. Notes scribbled down about how these towns needed changes. Action. Cross looked to the first crossed-off name, one he recognized from one of the woman at Dream's encampment.

The paper read of a faulty justice system, a lawman who needed to be checked up on for counts of bribery and false accusations. She'd said the Knight, the tiger, had arrived and asked for their head of city guard, the one who enforced rules and kept peace in their small village. Two days later he was killed, replaced by someone the King installed, and he started jailing innocent folks.

Cross looked to the next one, a pass where travel had been haunted by the royal guard. He'd been told they'd done it to halt people from mining in the area, a crop of wealth the King wanted to hoard. But this said that it was a mountain pass with frequent and dangerous rocks lines thanks to a sudden increase in storms since his rule. Notes reminding of supplies, and pay, and signs. Signs.

The next was not crossed off. An issue of bandits ransacked the town when people would enter or exit. Notes in messier scrawl seemed to pose solutions. Ideas. One that was circled said 'Send Horror, Autumn'. It was nearing the end of summer now.

This did seem to be the list that Dream had suggested existed, my twin is organized, he'll have a list with extensive notes, but he'd said nothing about the way the list wouldn't actually contain anything incriminating.

He skimmed again, but it seemed like nothing harmful. One lower down even acknowledged a damage caused during some sort of raid and to divert funds to someone. A random shopkeep in an outer city. This didn't add up at all.

He folded the paper silently and stuffed it into his armor, but kept looking. No doubt there would be something else. One of the lower pieces, something hidden away.

But the papers atop the desk seemed just as helpful in nature. Even ones like drafted decrees or laws to impose later were not unreasonable. One even seemed to propose a ban on child labor. What kind of tyrant would pass up a chance for easy workers?

Digging through the drawers revealed nothing more, just an impressive collection of quills, ink, and more books it seemed didn't fit on the shelves behind him. He wouldn't find anything more useful than these documents, he was sure. He... he just hoped the Prince would be able to see whatever evil Cross was obviously missing here. He scooped up another piece, one of the decrees, and then the letter draft to that Crop. Maybe they could speak to him? No, the planning was up to Dream. He was just here to get the information and go.

And now that he had it...

Cross sighed a bit, he couldn't understand why these were the things in here. In this innermost sanctum where only the trusted went. Everyone feared this King so much, Dream claimed he and his master were such a threat. And yet all Cross could find was a record of damages, and a plan to enact damage control. It...

"Having some trouble finding the dirt?"

Cross felt his entire soul freeze up as the voice cut through the silent room. It was quiet, and deep, and a bit gravelly. He didn't recognize it, but that didn't matter, because he knew he had been alone.

Almost all at once, a wave of presence crashed over his awareness. That damp static that had passed by once in the hall. Trailing the King. He didn't have to look up to know it was one of the Knights somewhere before him.

"Our King isn't usually one to make a mess." The voice said again, calmly.

Cross dragged his eyelights up, hands tentatively hovering at his sides. There, sat comfortably on one of the chairs, was the hooded one. Dust, Shep had told him.

Now, despite the shadow cast by his hood, Cross could see the faint details of his panther mask, black and hidden away in the darkness of his cover. He seemed entirely at-ease, not a care in the world, watching Cross. If his soul hadn't been sinking into his gut, Cross would've even thought Dust found the situation humorous.

He steeled himself, watching. Could he try and bluff his way out of this? Somehow? How long had Dust been there? How much had he seen?

"Any chance you'd believe I was looking for a good book?" Cross asked, though the bold humor he'd attempted to channel in the way Ink had done so many times before fell flat. Maybe his growing panic was clouding his mind, or maybe he'd never been much of a comedian.

Dust just stared at him, tilting his head a bit. By the way his eyelights changed shape, Cross imagined his sockets had drooped to give an unamused stare. Not a great sign.

"Are you going to try and run, or can I catch a break today?" Dust just asked across the room.

Mm. Cross didn't have much of a choice here anymore. Dream had told him, drilled it into his skull, not to get caught. Especially not by the Knights. They'd torture him. Kill him. The stories of what they did to traitors... Cross couldn't let this knight get hold of him. Couldn't be trapped. He had to get out of here.

He promised Ink he'd be back.

With that thought, his sword summoned to his hand in a flash. It was big, and bulky, and not the best for an indoor fight, but he'd make due. He just needed to get away from this guy. That was all.

His summons was clearly a declaration of intent, because he heard Dust scoff over the rush of adrenaline running through him and roaring through his ears. All at once, the electric charge in the room seemed to up itself. Bones, blue, cracked downwards from the rafters and planted themselves sturdy before the door and the window. His two possible exits. Dust stood up and stretched his arms before him.

"Alright, let's get this over with." Dust voiced, then.

Cross nearly let his guard down in the first moment. He felt a charge of energy coming from his side, and narrowly vaulted over the desk to avoid the spiked and jagged bones which rose where his feet had just been planted.

Momentum carried him now, and his sword was already poised for attack before his mind quick processed it. He slashed at Dust, growing rapidly closer. Hid swing was met with pure white bones that stopped his swing, just enough for Dust to avoid the hit with a split second to spare.

He was quiet, as they fought. As Cross lunged and spun and threw himself forward with grunts of exertion. It was unsettling, how the only noises were the cracks of his magic ripping into existence or Cross's sword cracking them to pieces like a lumberjack's axe.

He kept his attention on Dust. The magic had a pattern. The room was buzzing ambiently, and right before an attack it was like being too close to a fire. Just briefly. Cross barely managed to avoid spearing his ankle thanks to the crackle. He wished he could be a bit faster, though. Cross couldn't feel where an attack was aiming like he normally could. Dust gave no indications as to where an attack would be channeling either, almost like he wasn't controlling them at all. He didn't like it, it was unpredictable, and was wearing him down fast.

Dust kept dodging his swings, no matter how fast he moved, and eventually Cross stumbled. His shoulder connected with one of the random jutting bones. Dust stepped back just before it pierced upwards, and Cross grunted in distress as it drove him back a step as to not get impaled.

That was apparently his mistake. The moment he wasn't close to Dust, bones seemed to crop up all around him, gutting at different angles, just barely piercing the bone, little cracks forming with the force. Cross could feel each one jab a bit deeper than the last. Each time he reversed to get away from one or break away an incoming volley, another would arrive behind him at a new angle.

He hated that Dust stood back. Watched. The only sign that he had even broken a sweat was a slight heaviness to the up and down of his shoulders, and while Cross hadn't lost much HP yet, he was starting to feel the exhaustion creep closer, and each little wound and crack seemed to be draining him. Was this the strategy? Play with him like a living pin-cushion? Was this it's own sort of-

Cross shifted his stance and unsummoned his weapon as he jumped up and out of the quickly growing ring of spikes. He had to act fast. He had to get out of here.

He grumbled a bit under his breath, he didn't like trying to do this, but...

The moment his feet landed, Cross summoned up his other piece of magic. The part his father had embedded into his soul early on in his life which made him so powerful. He was sure his normally white eyelight changed shape in the split second it happened. Red, bright red.

It only took a moment, a tug at the very being, hidden away in the Knight's chest. For a split second, he could feel the control of foreign magic slip into his own hands.

For a moment, it worked just as he knew it would. His fist trembled under the effort, keeping an eye on Dust as the other seemed to stare at him. The bones he'd summoned all seemed to sink away at once, recalled faster than Cross could've hoped. Dust seemed to feel his magic stop responding to him.

Cross just needed to get the Knight downed. Not dead. He just needed out.

He shifted stiffly. One, concentrated blast of bones at the Knight. He seemed like he didn't want to risk taking any damage. That was all Cross needed then. Some damage. And he'd be free to escape back to the camp. Away from these weird monsters with their weird magic.

He let his palm open, directing the force like he'd done so many times, channeling another monster's magic against them. Controlling it against their will.

The feeling of electricity rose again. It spiked. It. It gathered in his hand, that burning feeling he felt when an attack had been about to hit him.

What?

It was too late to recall the intent once he'd released it. The moment he tried to command the magic, he felt it all roll back over him. Bones meant to be aimed at their owner came jolting straight at his front. And though he stumbled back, he couldn't escape the searing pain of a fire too hot to process escaping his bones and immediately rushing up his arm, into his chest, down to his feet.

He had to imagine, with the loud sound like a cracking whip, that that was what being struck by lightning felt like. Molten metal in your veins.

Cross laid sprawled, dazed, on the floor as his control magic puttered out. It hurt to breathe. To see. To exit. He was half-convinced his arm was completely splintered apart after the pulse of raw magic that had filtered through it, but he didn't bother to look.

His soul begged him to move, to get up and run again, but darkness danced in his vision as he stared up at the ceiling. He failed his mission.

He hated to see as the Knight rounded into view, standing cautiously over where he was laid. Floored by the backfire of his power. If the knight said anything, he couldn't hear over the loud ringing invading his head.

Though, instead of stabbing him through like Cross had expected, the knight seemed to duck down. A cool feeling encased Cross' wrists (so the other hadn't broken apart) and his soul suddenly felt exhausted. He felt exhausted.

No matter how much he wanted to stay awake, to escape, he lost this fight fair and square.