#but now lexi's kind of throwing me for a loop

[smile-files]

my own characters are confusing me!!! alas!!!!

[lovingchrissposts]

Our Little Secret

a/n: do we like or hate? this it wasn't really a request but I worked on it with a friend kinda but like not really. She helped me proofread it. Im so sorry for the ppl who have left request and I havent done them yet i was working on this but ill check in on it in a few days to see how we are feeling about it !! (There will be more parts and future smut.)

Warnings: Cursing, throwing up, cheating if you squint, angst, and I think that it??

I knew my boyfriend Jeremy and I weren't on the best terms recently. It was hard to talk to him, he wouldn't open up to me, and he would constantly get black out drunk at parties or wouldn't remember who I was till the next morning.

I was getting so fucking sick of it, I didn't know how to tell him or bring it up I just couldn't I knew he loved me, but he just really got on my nerves sometimes.

-

I had spent hours getting ready for a party for one of Jeremys' friends Sam. I kind of wanted to go because I knew my best friend Sicily, was gonna be there. I was wearing a pair of heels with a small chain around my ankle, a tight black silky, satiny, smooth, wrinkle-free, dress that had a slit up to my thigh right below my black lace thong. It had spaghetti straps that looped over my shoulders perfectly. My black hair swooped on the sides of my face and down my freckled shoulders.

I felt a pair of arms come up around my waist as I was putting on a silver bracelet, it was my boyfriend. He kissed the side of my face before resting his chin on my shoulder. "hey." he mumbled onto my shoulder. I clipped my bracelet and put my hands over his. "hi." I whisper back leaning into his chest.

"You look gorgeous, do you want to stay home?" he asked me squeezing my hip as I felt something poke my lower back. I swallowed and took in a breath. "I kinda wanted to go tonight is that okay?" I whisper and he kisses my cheek and I feel him smile against my cheek.

"Of course Lexi. I didn't think you would want to go but if you want to I'm not gonna stop you." he chuckles and lets go of my waist. This is what I mean by sometimes he is genuinely sweet and a good boyfriend.

-

about an hour goes by and I'm walking around Sams's house with one of my friends. all the guys look the exact same here and It doesn't help that I'm drunk as fuck.

I see my boyfriend and I start feeling really sick to my stomach. I see people fucking swapping spit with their girlfriends and it makes my stomach feel like I'm about to throw up.

I look over at my friend who's taking another shot. I feel like I'm about to pass out. I feel someone walking behind me and I quickly grab onto them to stabilize myself before throwing up right in front of me on the floor.

"what the fu- oh shit-" the guy from behind me yells setting his drink down grabbing the back of my hair and bundling it into a pony tale as I throw up. I finish after about two times and I turn around tears spilling out of eyes, my best no where to be seen.

Me and the guy lock eyes but I quickly push past him up the stairs into the small bathroom. I sit in there for a few minutes with the door closed wiping my tears and fixing my eye liner.

The guy from before knocks on the door. "Hey?" a deep voice calls from the other side. I open the door and get greeted by a man taller than me, with tattoos on one side of his arm, and earrings, He is wearing a black tank top and pink shorts that read the logo "Fresh Love" in white.

"hi?" I whisper back sniffling. "Hey, are you the girl who threw up like I dunno, five minutes ago?" He asks me and I nod. "oh, well I'm Matt, Matt Sturniolo. you okay?" I smile softly swallowing back tears as he speaks to me. I nod my head softly and sigh.

"Well, where's your boyfriend? I-If you have one." Matt stammers as he speaks in a quiet voice. "I honestly have no idea where he is, probably with some other girl, but I feel like I can barely stand right now."

we talk for a few minutes and the next thing I know I'm passed out in the back of Matts car. I wake up my eyes fluttering open and I start panicking. Shit, where am i? who is this, is he gonna kidnap me, oh fuck Jeremy.

[when-jaguars-are-sick]

JAYDEN: Expecting a Miracle

Here's a pool-centric fic, featuring sick Jayden, also starring Colin and Alix as caretakers. I'm so excited to properly introduce *the pool*, one of the most important locations in my stories.

------

“Are you sure you should be going to the pool tonight?”

“Lexi, I’ll be fine. The pool makes everything better.”

“I know, Jay, but if you go to the pool expecting a miracle, it’ll seem less magical. You’re obviously upset about something. Why don’t we have a night in?”

Jayden gives a weary sigh… He’s so not in the mood for arguing. He wants to go swim for an hour, then collapse on his bed and go to sleep.

Alix knows him better than anyone, except maybe Keegan, so it’s no surprise that Alix knows something’s wrong. Alix is right in guessing that he probably shouldn’t go to the pool tonight, but they're wrong in their guess as to why. 

Alix thinks he’s stressed about something, which is fair, since that’s normally true, but tonight it’s not anxiety that’s causing his upset stomach.

It’s just some indigestion, he tells himself, remembering the ham sandwich and coffee he called lunch. He wouldn’t be Jayden if he let a little indigestion keep him away from the pool, though, so he shakes off his discomfort, and plasters on a smile for Alix.

He grabs his bag, all while Alix watches him with one eyebrow raised, trying not to smile at his stubbornness. Leaning over, he quickly kisses Alix good-bye, before heading out the door. As he’s leaving, he hears Alix call after him, “Call me if you need me!”

During the drive to the pool, he rethinks that conversation on loop, ranging from amusement, to frustration. On one hand, he appreciates Alix’s attentiveness, and his concern, but on the other hand, Alix doesn’t seem to trust him to know his body, and that’s bothering him.

By the time he makes it, he’s more than ready for a swim, needing the stress relief it brings.

When he changes into his swim suit, he notices that his stomach is kind of bloated, and he rubs at it gently, feeling it shift under his hand. He grimaces, but brushes it off as another symptom of his indigestion, figuring that a swim will help him start digesting.

Is it just me, or is the deck really warm today, he wonders, feeling a wave of heat wash over him, making him vaguely lightheaded as walks up to the water. He’s starting to wonder if it’s more than indigestion, but he’s too committed to his denial now to consider the alternative.

Shivering, he slips into the water. When it touches his skin, the sudden cold shocks him into alertness. He starts to hope the pool will work its magic and he’ll leave feeling better.

Normally, he would start with a warm-up, before working his way through a more intense endurance swim, and end with a couple sprints, lasting just over an hour. Tonight, he doesn’t do any of that, opting to start with a leisurely swim, hoping he can work off some of the gross feeling in his belly.

 Not even 20 minutes into his swim, he starts to wish he’d stayed on land. He doesn’t get seasick, but he thinks he’s starting to understand what it feels like. The water seems to be fighting him in a way it’s never done before. He feels the swaying of his body in a way that’s unnatural, and his stomach flips with every breath. 

He stops midway through the pool, and stands up, breathing carefully. He feels much steadier with his feet on the ground, the woozy feeling dissolving even as his stomach continues to flip. He frowns in discomfort, walking slowly back to the wall.

He sighs as he realizes that Alix was right, the thought bringing a sheepish smile to his face.

He’s now seriously regretting getting in the water, the small waves lapping at his chest as he reaches the wall mimic the unsettled movements of his insides, and he has to swallow back a burp out of fear that more would come up. 

He clambers out of the pool, making a mad dash for the bathroom. Thankful that he didn’t throw up in the pool, he throws himself to the floor in front of the toilet, leaning over the toilet with a deep belch. It relieves some of the pressure in his stomach, and he thinks for a moment that that might be all.

He leans back on his feet, and takes a deep breath, and when nothing more comes up, he sighs in relief. His stomach clenches, and tosses, pushing up another loud burp.

Normally he would be panicking over his embarrassing sprint to the bathrooms, but his stomach draws all his attention, and though he’ll probably obsess over it later, for now he can’t be bothered.

When nothing more happens, he carefully stands up, and that’s when his stomach decides it’s had enough, and he’s immediately spewing up lunch, and breakfast, and maybe even last night’s dinner.

He groans in pain as more stinging vomit comes surging out of his mouth, landing in the rapidly filling toilet with a splash.

Draping himself over the toilet as he continues to purge his stomach contents, he wishes he’d stayed home with Alix.

One hand laying on the toilet supports his head, and the other clings tight to his writhing stomach.

“Oh my god, are you alright?” a voice asks suddenly from behind Jayden, who belatedly realizes that he never locked the stall door.

“Nnnghh…” he groans in response.

He feels a hand touch his back, and he pulls away, wary of strangers, especially in his vulnerable state. He’s been on the receiving end of such hesitance before, and knows how much it can hurt, so he’s surprised when the man apologizes.

The man, as he leaves, promises to return, and Jayden vacantly wonders why he would come back, when he’s obviously a disaster, still soaking wet from the pool, and puking non-stop.

After a few long minutes, Jayden’s stomach settles enough that he’s no longer actively puking, but he’s tired and embarrassed enough that he stays slumped over the toilet, waiting for a miracle.

Luckily, a miracle is just what he gets, as a familiar voice says “Aw, Jayden, I’m sorry you feel so bad. Let’s get you cleaned up and out of here, huh?”

He slumps further in relief, knowing he’s in good hands. Even so, he feels a slight curl of disappointment, that it’s not Alix. Still, he trusts Colin to get him home.

Colin thanks the lovely person who stopped to help a vomiting stranger, and crouches down next to Jayden, asking “Hey, can I touch you?”

Jayden nods, knowing he needs help to get out of here. Colin peels him away from the toilet, flushing it. Then he grabs Jayden under his arms, heaving him to his feet, where he sways unsteadily for a minute, grabbing onto Colin until the world stops swaying.

Colin drags him to the showers, and quickly helps hose him off, cleaning away chlorine and puke that had settled on his skin.

They move to a bench, and Colin asks for the number of Jayden’s locker, before opening it and wrapping a towel around his shivering friend.

He pulls out Jayden’s phone, handing it to him, who shakily unlocks it and fumbles trying to find his boyfriend’s contact. Colin saves him again, gently taking the phone and calling Alix.

He picks up on the first ring.

“Jayden?”

“It’s Colin. Jayden’s sick.”

“Fuck, I knew something was bothering him.”

“Can you come pick him up?”

“Yeah, of course, I’m on my way.”

Colin sits with Jayden until Alix comes running into the room, frantic. His wide-eyed gaze lands on his wet, pale, shaking boyfriend, then Colin’s worried expression, and he springs into action.

He wraps an arm around Jayden, who sighs instantaneously out of relief, leaning into them. Meanwhile, Colin stands, heading back out the pool deck to check that the other guard is okay. Calling after him, Alix says “Thank you Colin, for looking after my stubborn boyfriend.” Colin laughs, answering “No problem. Hope you feel better!” he adds, addressing Jayden.

Alix pushes Jayden towards the changeroom with his dry clothes, before dragging him to the car. Jayden makes use of the plastic bag Alix hands him, heaving drily into the bag, before producing yet more vomit.

Alix gently places his hand on Jayden’s thigh, trying to watch the road and his boyfriend. As soon as he parks, he hops out of the car, rushing around to the other side, pulling open the door, and he puts his hand on Jayden’s back.

“It’s okay sweetheart, just let it out. You’ll be okay, I’m here now.” Jay finishes with one last mouthful of vomit, spitting harshly a couple times, before breathing heavily and relaxing. Alix pries the bag from his hands, dropping it in a garbage can conveniently placed a few feet away.

Jayden is almost asleep where he sits, and Alix knows he’s not going to be able to support his semi-conscious taller boyfriend up the stairs.

Keegan comes hurrying outside after receiving Alix’s text asking for help, and together they get Jayden upstairs, and into bed, where he collapses, having finally emptied his belly, and made it home with his boyfriend.

Alix changes into some pajamas, before laying down next to Jay.

He whispers “Maybe now you’ll believe me next time, huh, sweetheart?”

Jayden hums in agreement, before muttering “I’m so lucky Colin was there. Sorry I didn’t listen, Lexi.”

Alix rolls his eyes in response, knowing that it will happen again because Jayden’s just too stubborn for his own good, but relieved to have him home and feeling better nonetheless.

Alix kisses the back of his head, and Jayden falls asleep with a gentle little smile on his face, Alix soon following.

[so-writing]

Good For You - Jamie Oleksiak (4)

based on this song. all parts here.

-

That saying about toothpaste being easy to squeeze out of the tube but impossible to get back in was coming into play right at that moment, in the middle of a random grocery store in fucking Wisconsin of all places. 

“This is fucking insane, there’s absolutely no reason you should be here right now unless you somehow found out about my honeymoon and followed me here.”

You didn’t think the first encounter with Jamie would go amazingly but the anger he was throwing your way was unexpected.

“I mean, you had to have followed me right? Because why would you be here? Also, it’s fucking crazy that you would follow your ex to the destination of his honeymoon. What the fuck?”

He was completely and totally right on every front. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like fucking hell. Seeing him again after all this time and him being so aggressive was throwing you for a loop and making you panic. 

So, you did what you thought was best. You gave it back to him tenfold.

“I didn’t realize you had ownership over the entire fucking country, Jamie! I didn’t follow you here, I had no idea you’d be here. Lex has family in this town and I’m with her on a visit.”

You should have stopped right then. Those words got your point across and his face softened, but you weren’t done yet. 

“Why are you honeymooning in Wisconsin anyway? What the fuck is in this town other than some kiddie ass waterparks? One of which we’re staying at, by the way, because Lex has a lot of little cousins. Is that acceptable or should we replant her whole fucking family reunion because you feel uncomfortable?!”

You were ready to throw down for a few more rounds before Lex came up behind you and pulled you into a tight hug, “don’t do this. He is not worth it.” 

“You’re right,” you were speaking to Lex but looking directly at Jamie, “he isn’t worth it. He never was.” 

*

He was happy. He so fucking happy and in complete fucking love. He was, he absolutely was. He was happy and he had no reason to keep telling himself so because he was that goddamn happy. 

Everything had been perfect with Madison, despite also being a complete whirlwind moving in triple time, but he was happy. He was.

The ceremony was quick but beautiful and he was too wrapped up in his new life to recognize the pastries, until it came to cutting the cake. 

She had designed it, and it was beautiful. Regardless of what had gone down between them, he knew she was an incredible artist and he recognized her style. He pushed any thoughts of her to the back of his mind as he celebrated his new life with his new wife. 

They had planned on honeymooning in Aruba but it fell through and he kind of laughed it off when Madison suggested a waterpark in Wisconsin. He soon figured out she was serious and they were off to Wisconsin. 

Everything had been going swimmingly until he ran into you. You, the woman he had loved more than he thought possible. The woman he planned to spend his entire life with. The woman he was sure of, until he wasn’t sure anymore. Madison had come into his life and turned everything upside down and he liked it. He liked her. 

Here you were, though, right in front of him. You were yelling at him with your whole body and that was fine until your friend showed up behind you. 

“He isn’t worth it. He never was.” 

Hearing those words felt like a hundred direct blows to his gut. He knew he had no reason to feel bad because he was the one that left you but Lex’s words stung more than he wanted to acknowledge. 

*

“Fuck,” you dropped to the floor next to the bed and ran your hands through your hair, “fuck, fuck fuck!” 

“Let it out,” Lex encouraged, crossing the room and pouring two small shots of tequila into plastic cups, “I had no idea that would happen.”

“We should go home, Lexi, he doesn’t want anything to do with me and he made that very fucking obvious. Put me out of my misery and sign me up for Tinder.” 

“No, we’re not leaving.” 

“Why not?” 

“Did you see his face when the two of you were talking?”

“No.”

“You need to look closer the next time you talk to him.”

“I don’t want to look closer. He’s married. He doesn’t want me. Can we go home?”

“What about revenge?”

“I don’t care anymore. Jamie made his choice and it wasn’t me. I don’t want anything to do with him, I want to go home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” your voice was barely above a whisper, “can we please get the fuck out of here?”

*

Your luggage was heavier than you expected it to be and you hoped no one had seen you fall on your ass as you dragged your bags toward the elevator. 

Chuckling to yourself, you got up from the ground but failed to notice the person standing not too far away from you. 

“Are you good?”

“Yeah,” you didn’t realize who you were talking to, “other than regretting every single decision regarding my love life, I’m good.” 

“Every decision?”

You froze, realizing who it was that was speaking to you.

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I regret being with someone that cheated on me with multiple women? Someone that proposed to me and then took it back so that he could marry the newer model? Of course I regret everything that happened between us, Jamie, because it was a fucking lie.” 

“It wasn’t a lie,” Jamie was behind you before you realized, pulling you up from the ground and making sure you were solid on your feet. The heat of his body against yours made you feel both dizzy with love and full of anger. 

He didn’t get to come in and be your white knight after what he had put you through. He didn’t get to come back and break down the insanely high walls you’d built around yourself because of him. He didn’t deserve to come back to you. 

He wasn’t coming back, though. He was married to someone else and this encounter didn’t meant anything. 

“Fuck off, Jamie.”

“I watched you tripping over your bags for like ten minutes before I decided to intervene. Please, let me help you with these.”

It was weak but you allowed it. You let Jamie bring your bags downstairs and load them into the car that would be taking you to the airport. 

Lex was ready and waiting to confront Jamie for anything and when the two of you came outside together, she held her tongue for your sake.

“Fly safe,” it was quick and kind of cold but that was how Jamie was. 

Those two words meant everything to you.

Fly safe

Jamie wasn’t the type of person to show much emotion but everything he said was for a reason and his words held so much weight. He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it. If he didn’t mean it, he wouldn’t have bothered. You knew it, you knew it in your gut and in your heart.

Despite being married to someone else, Jamie Oleksiak wasn’t over you. 

[inquartata30]

WIP Whenever Monday

tagging @forlornmelody and @jennserr no obligations

tagged by @natsora so you know where this is going:

Thaia’s eyes opened seconds before Zahra shuffled into the bedroom and flopped herself against the side of the bed. Through the covers, Thaia could feel the heat emanating from Zahra’s body.  

“Babe,” Thaia said, reaching over to wake Lexi. “No monsters in the closet, so this one’s yours.” Her hand encountered an empty pillow and the little form of a sleeping Aella. Right, Lexi was on the Tempest. “Hold on,” she said to Zahra. “I’ll just call your...”

Fuck. She couldn’t. Lexi was dead and had been for over a fucking year.

Grief wrestled with Thaia’s squeamishness and the rising panic that she might need to deal with the worst kind of sick on her own. She braced herself. “Are you going to throw up?”

“No.” Zahra’s answer was mumbled into the comforter, but clear enough.

A shred of mercy granted by the universe. Thaia relaxed exactly that much. “Do you want to stay in my bed or go back to your own?” 

“Mine.” Zahra lifted her head. Even in the dim light, it was easy to see her grey eyes bright with fever. “I don’t want Aella to get sick.” 

“Give me a second.” Thaia slipped out of bed and carefully scooted the still sleeping Aella to the middle. Then she picked up Zahra, who looped her arms around Thaia’s neck and laid her head on her shoulder. Through Zahra’s thin pajamas and Thaia’s t-shirt, Zahra’s fever threatened to make Thaia break into a sweat. Shit.

Zahra mumbled something about her head hurting and then: “Mum, slow down.”

Thaia did, but she’d already been going slow. Fuck. What was it that Lexi did first? Right, scanned them. Thaia could do that, except not in depth like Lexi could. 

Had.

She gritted her teeth and forced herself to relax because Zahra would notice if she wasn’t and start worrying and Zahra was already dealing with being sick. Thaia only had a thermometer available in her omni, not a fancy medical suite because Thaia wasn’t the doctor. Lexi was. Thaia’s job had been hunting down creepy noises in the night. Now, despite lacking proper training for one, they were both her jobs.

In the kids’ room, Carian was still passed out in her bed, a blanketed lump tucked against the wall and Bubbles, her stuffed hanar, over her face. Switching Zahra to one arm, Thaia gently moved the toy down. Then she checked on Anahera, in Zahra’s bed and not her own. Lexi had encouraged them to sleep in separate beds since they were old enough not to freak out about it. It’d helped them with forming their own identities, a necessary early childhood intervention for asari twins. Otherwise, they tended to have trouble distinguishing between themselves, which could’ve led to lifelong problems. But Lexi’s interventions, along with those done by specialists, had worked. Zahra and Anahera had strong, distinct personalities along with individual wants and needs. However, whenever one of them was sick, one would crawl into the other’s bed to help her feel better. And no one had or would ever deny them that. 

That said, after Thaia put Zahra back in bed, Anahera threw off her covers only seconds later.

“What?” Zahra more croaked than asked.

“Sorry, you’re too hot,” said Anahera. “I’ll come back when you aren’t an oven anymore. Goddess.” Then she scampered back to her own bed.

“I’m cold,” said Zahra, wrapping every centimeter of available covers around herself.

Chills. Chills were bad. Those meant... Thaia struggled to remember what Lexi had told her. It’d been over comms, when Zahra and Anahera were still toddlers and Thaia had been worried as fuck because the doctor was gone and her own doctorates weren’t the helpful kind unless her kids turned into ships or stars.

“If they’re experiencing chills, it means their bodies think they’re too cold and their temperatures are going up.”

“That’s bad.”

“Only if it gets too high.”

Too high. It could get too high and Thaia couldn’t remember much except it could cause brain damage or something. Wait, Lexi had always left some medicine in a locked cabinet, labeled with correct dosages, instructions, and expiration dates so she knew when to replace them.

Thaia ran a hand lightly over Zahra’s crest. Fuck, she was hot. “Be right back.”

Then she silently sprinted to the kitchen. Good, the meds were in the cabinet like she thought, and neatly organized. Lexi’s organization skills when it came to medical supplies have rivaled Thaia’s own when it came to tools.

Thaia began checking the labels for the right one and then came to a dead stop. 

They were all expired. This was all she had and they were all expired.

Would they be safe to give, anyway? She didn’t know.

Lexi never would’ve let any expire in the first place and needing to hadn’t even crossed Thaia’s mind until it was too late and how fucking bad of a parent was she to forget?

She scrubbed at her face. Great, she’d given herself a headache with her fuckup.

But that didn’t matter because Zahra’s fever could spike dangerously high and now Thaia recalled something about seizures and—

Thaia sprinted back to the bedroom.

Zahra was still, but not the worrisome type of still, just a kid in her bed too miserable to do anything except sleep, but her symptoms weren’t letting her. Fuck. Her kid was miserable and she couldn’t do shit about it.

They shouldn’t have gone to Elaaden. That’s where Zahra must’ve picked up the virus that could maybe kill her if Thaia didn’t get her shit together and do something.

She hadn’t even taken her fucking temperature yet. There, something to do even though she should’ve done it already.

Fuck, it was high. Zahra moaned a little about her bodying aching all over. She was more miserable and Thaia didn’t know how to fix it and the person who did know—had known—was gone and never coming back. Eyes stinging, Thaia stood up. Crouching had reminded her that she’d pushed really hard today at the gym. Too hard, judging by how much complaining her body was doing. But she’d be fine, only had to take a rest day or two and it was Zahra she didn’t know how to help.

Wait, her dad was home. So was Aridana. They’d know what to do.  

Thaia sprinted to their room. Luckily, the door was open and she didn’t risk seeing anything she’d regret when she ran inside.

Her dad was already sitting up. “You’re not gonna throw up, are you?”

Thaia frowned slightly because she wasn’t six. Then her worry overtook everything. “Zahra’s sick and has a fever and all the medicine’s expired and I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s all expired? Shit, I knew I should’ve checked it earlier.”

“Medkits,” Aridana said from under the comforter.

“What?” both Thaia and Sula asked.

“Check the medkits. Lexi had replaced the medicine in them the day before the attack. She had planned on checking the rest of the medicine the next day.”

She’d never gotten the chance to. Thaia’s eyes stung even more. How could she have forgotten about the fucking medkits? And since when had Sula and Aridana’s bedroom been cold enough to compete with a polar ice cap? Whatever, she’d grab a sweatshirt on her way back to the kids’ room.

Aridana already getting out of bed and offering help. “I’ll fetch one of the medkits.” She gave Thaia’s arm a reassuring squeeze when she went to step past, but then she halted. “Sula,” she said, kind of urgently in Thaia’s opinion, and then she gestured to Thaia.

Sula rolled out of bed and grabbed a robe. “Get the kit, I’ve got this one.”

Aridana left and Thaia went to follow, but Sula stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. 

Then she removed her hand just as quickly and shook it out. “Shit, your fucking skin is on fire. Nomi called that one. There’s no way you don’t have a fever, too.”

No, no, she couldn’t be sick, she couldn’t. Her immune system still wasn’t working right and what if it killed her? Then her kids wouldn’t have either parent and that was—that would be even worse than the shitty job Thaia knew she was doing by herself. Her kid was sick and she was so useless that she had gotten sick. Thaia needed Lexi and so did their daughters and the kett had ripped her away from them forever and what if she couldn’t do this alone? She shivered. She was fucking sick and how could she help her kids if she was sick? Just a year and a half in and she’d failed them and Lexi. It was like an ocean dive too deep and not realizing it until the pressure crushed you and it was too late.

Her head swam.

Too late.

[youngster-monster]

four leaf clover - lucky

Something explodes in the distance.

Razel reacts accordingly: he jumps to his feet, lifts his hand off the supplies he was rearranging, and says, “Didn’t do it!”

For once it’s more than a desperate attempt to avoid his supervisor’s wrath. Surely he’d have noticed if the crate of — he checks the label quickly — dehydrated fruit rations had exploded in his hands, and it sounded pretty distant anyway.

It turns out to be useless: no one is looking at him, accusingly or otherwise. All the other workers spur into action at the sound and Razel is left standing there like an idiot as they run around the docking bay, strapping crates of supplies to each other the way they do when they’re about to enter a planet’s atmosphere.

Another explosion, and this time the floor shakes under his feet. People yell in surprise, trying to hold the few unattached boxes in place before they fall on someone. Razel stumbles and almost collides with his supervisor, Lexi Kendall. She catches him by the sleeve of his shirt before he can hit the ground instead and shoves a gun in his hands.

“Make yourself useful,” she barks.

She strides away before she can see him fumble with the weapon. They both know he’s no good with guns, so he’s not sure why she gave him one.

Yet another explosion rocks the ship, loud enough to cover the sound of panic in the room. The lights turn red, alarms blaring. Through the chaos, a voice screams,

“Guard the doors!”

Razel looks down at the gun. Then up at the crowd of people rushing through the small hangar space. Back at the gun. He puts it down on a nearby crate. Better be unharmed than accidentally shoot someone — it’s happened before and he doesn’t fancy a repeat of that particular lecture. He replaces it with the crowbar he was using on the crates. Now that he can do something with.

Somewhere on the ship — above their heads, the mess hall maybe — there’s the sound of fighting, people running over metal floors. Silence falls on the room, or as silent as it can be with the alarms still screaming in their ears. Workers and guards shift uneasily, fingers tightening around their guns.

Then, as suddenly as they started, the alarms stop. It’s quiet enough to hear a pin drop… or the feet pounding outside the docking bay, coming to a stop on the other side of the door.

Razel takes a low stance, relaxes his shoulders and breathes out.

When the door is blown off its hinges, he’s ready.

Bullets rain over the singed gap left in the wall, but whoever was behind ducked for cover just in time. Kendall steps closer to the hole, her rifle held at the ready.

She collapses before she reaches it.

A second later enemies swarm the room, shooting down anyone who tries to fight back. They advance with ruthless efficiency but instead of uniforms they’re wearing mismatched pieces of armor, obviously stolen off other shipments, patched to hell and back.

Pirates. He’s never met those before! He’s a little excited, to be honest.

Razel jumps out of cover when one of the pirates walks by the pile of crates. He slams the crowbar into their head and grins when they collapse to the ground. A good kick sends their stun gun way out of reach and he moves to the next one.

It takes a second for the pirates to react. Whatever opposition they were expecting, a maniac with a crowbar wasn’t it. He gets a good few hits before they start shooting at him. He drops to the ground then, narrowly dodging a projectile. His slide takes him right into a pirates’ knees— and in the middle of the rest of them.

Think fast. Better: don’t think at all.

He throws the crowbar with all his might. It hits a pirate square in the chest — he was aiming for the head but alright. There’s a sound like something cracking, and he winces even as he scrambles back to his feet and jump over their fallen body. It didn’t sound pleasant.

Gunshot. Something collides with his back hard enough to send him back to the ground. He tries to cushion the fall with his hands but his body seizes up, muscles locking tight, and he hits the metal flooring face first. It hurts — might have broken his nose — but not as much as the burn of electricity through his veins.

Stun guns. Who would have thought.

He’s still seizing up by the time footsteps reach him, echoing sharply in the room, quiet again save for the faint moans of pain from the other paralyzed workers. The toe of a boot nudges him in the ribs before flipping him on his back with a light kick. He wrinkles his nose — the only protest he can muster in this state — and groans when it only makes the pain worse by jostling the possibly broken cartilage.

The pirate standing over him, a stun rifle held loosely against their chest, is the one they got in the chest. He thinks it’s a miracle they’re standing after that kind of blow before his eyes trail up to their face and he finds mechanical eyes staring back.

An exo. That explains it. Not much that can keep these down.

“Feisty, aren’t ya?” The exo says — a male, by the sound of it. He gives Razel something that might be a smile, internal light brightening as he opens his mouth slightly, and nudges him again. “A gun might have been more useful.”

The electrical jolts have calmed down enough that Razel can unlock his jaws enough to say, “Can’t shoot.”

The exo kneels next to him and drags him up into a sitting position, pulls his arms back and loops a long cord around his wrists. His voice sounds a little mocking when he speaks again, moving down to do the same thing to his ankles.

“And they hired you anyway?”

“They never told me I’d have to use a gun!” He pouts. “Not that I need one anyway.”

“You’ve got a good throwing arm on you, I can tell ya that much.”

Once satisfied with his knots the pirate steps away and to the center of the room, making a quick turn on himself to take a good look at the rest of Razel’s coworkers, all similarly tied-up. He clears his throat, if such a thing is necessary for robots.

“Good evening, good people of the Clovis Bray Corporation!” He makes a mock bow at them, opening his arms wide like a performer thanking the public after a play. His finger never leaves the trigger of his handcannon. “My name is Cayde-5, and my wonderful friends and I have decided to huh… appropriate the goods you are carrying. Stay calm, and we’ll be off before dinnertime!”

The rest of the pirates — most of them exos, he notices — don’t look half as friendly. Relaxed, yes, as they lean against walls and cargo crates, but the way they keep their guns pointed at the hostages doesn’t seem friendly to Razel. Their leader though… He’s fun. If he wasn’t holding him hostage, Razel thinks he’d like him.

It’s a little disheartening to see all his hard work organizing these crates goes to waste as the pirates start carrying them away to where one of their own is setting up a transmat zone. He sighs wistfully as they cart off the crates full of canned food. There are canned peaches in these that he’d kill for.

“Something on your mind, crowbar guy?”

He has to crane his neck to look Cayde-5 in the eyes from his position on the floor, and the movement isn’t made any more comfortable by the way his arms are tied behind his back. He manages a small shrug despite the tight bindings.

“It’s Razel, actually. And I guess I’m kinda bummed out,” he says. “If I’d known we were gonna get robbed, I’d have kept some of my candy stash for later. I was kind of resting all my hopes on those canned fruits.”

“Never put all your eggs in one basket,” Cayde-5 says wisely. “Sucks for those snacks though.”

He thinks about it for a second. “I have a chocolate bar left in my pocket actually,” he says, because he remembers shoving it there before Thomas could catch him in the act and steal it. “So it’s not too bad.”

There’s a second of quiet as both of them watch the pirates work. Finally Cayde says, “Gotta say I’m impressed, crowbar. You’re taking this really well.”

“Thanks! All the ships I get on end up getting robbed at some point so, you know, you get used to it.”

He can see Kendall glaring at him from behind the pirate’s back, probably because he’s chatting with the enemy, but it’ll be awhile before they’re done taking all their stuff so he might as well entertain myself. Cayde looks above his shoulder, and Razel thinks he somehow felt the weight of her glare on his neck, but he just calls out to one of his pirates instead.

“You heard that Mint? That guy survived… how many robberies was it?”

“Huh, I don’t know. About a dozen?”

“A dozen robberies Mint! How cool is that?”

One of the pirates stops, puts down the crate he was carrying and leans against it to reply to his boss. “Doesn’t sound all that cool for the one getting robbed though.”

“I know, but… dozen attacks, and he still has all his limbs! How lucky is that?”

Mint thinks about it for a second and concedes the point with a nod and an appreciative hum.

“It’s not so bad, after a while,” Razel feels the need to clarify. “I mean, once you’ve sat at gunpoint while someone took all your stuff once, it all starts to look the same, you know?”

“It is more fun when you’re the one doing the robbing,” Cayde agrees. He sits down on his heels and gives Razel a good hard look. He’s glad for it: his neck was starting to ache. “Tell you what, you give me that chocolate bar you’ve got squirreled away in one of these pockets and you can tag along, see how it looks from the other end of the robbery. How does that sound?”

A few pirates make noises of protest, though there’s not much energy in it, like they’re used to that kind of recruitment technique. Kendall yells something along the line of don’t you dare-

Razel them and takes a moment to think about it, really think about it. He looks at the pirates, who shakes their head at their captain’s antics and move on. He looks at Kendall, glaring daggers at the two of them, then at Cayde, who winks at him. He looks at the crate of fruit preserves.

“Okay,” he agrees. “But I call dibs on the canned peaches.”

“Deal.”

[pocketfulofmuses]

Who: Tristan, Tobias, Lexie, Tobias & Aidan Where: Starts at the apartment of Tristan & Tobias and leads to the courthouse When: 7/25/19 About: Tristan & Tobias elope and flew to California with Lexie and Tommy 

It was early afternoon, and Tommy was supposed to be at work. Instead, he found himself all but kicking his brother's door down in his fury. He hadn't been this mad at Tristan in a long time-- he'd made his peace with the family's line of work and his brother's involvement in it. But that day at work, one of his colleagues asked how Liam was doing, and Tommy had stared at him blankly. He was hurt to be left out of the loop, scared for his family, worried that Tris might be in danger. But it all came out as anger at his twin.

He grabbed Tristan by the collar of his shirt and yanked him off the couch. "How long have you known our cousin was in a coma? When were you gonna tell me? You fucker!" 

Lexie sat in front of the coffee table, across from Tristan and Tobias, magazines spread out all over the surface of it. Ever since she strolled into Bryan's office and asked to be put into the business she had been spending a ton of time with Tristan and whenever Tobias or Tommy were around, she would use the wedding as an excuse of why she was always hanging around. "Okay so we are covered on the caterer and the dessert.. we should figure out where we are doing this at.." before she could keep going Tommy busted the door down and had Tristan up off the couch in a matter of seconds. 

Tobias scrambled up off the couch and moved to grab Tristan while Lexie moved over to Tommy to try and pull him off. "Babe, come on.. let go of him."

Tristan had been trying to keep his mind off the threat to their family and the state Liam was in, and he and Lexie had agreed not to tell Tobias and Tommy the details. He should have known it would come back around to bite them. Before he could even make a comment on the venue choices, his brother had stormed in and yanked him off the couch. When it came to fights, Tris could go from zero to one hundred in a snap, and he seemed to bring that out of his brother too.

"You always think you know best, huh?" Tristan snapped, shoving his brother back away from him. "Maybe you could trust me for once, asshole!"

Tommy lunged at him again, ready to throw down, but hands were holding both of them back. 

Lexie kept a grip on Tommy's shoulders to keep him from lunging at Tristan. "Don't you two ever just use your words?" A part of her felt guilty for not keeping Tommy in the loop but with how these people were if she kept him out of it. He would stay safe. She moved in between the space and put her hands on Tommy's chest. "Take a deep breath. Please." 

Tobias held onto Tristan, holding him back as he moved his hands down to his man's waist, tugging him closer to keep him from trying to get to Tommy. "He's just frustrated. Don't get too angry, Tris." He muttered into Tristan's ear.

Tommy knew she had a point, the two of them were never good at just communicating even at their closest. It was why things tended to blow up for them. Tommy let out a sharp breath through his nose, knowing he had to calm down before one of them took a swing and they didn't speak for months again. That wasn't what he wanted. He put his hands up in a sign of truce, eyes still blazing at Tris. 

Tristan clenched his fists opened and closed, opened and closed again at his sides before he let Tobias tug him back. "Alright, alright," he huffed, settling a little further against his fiance. He looked across the space they'd created at his brother. "I'm sorry," he admitted. "I should've told you...we were trying to protect you...don't fucking hit me."

Tommy might have huffed a laugh at the plea to not hit him, but one word caught his attention instead. He turned to look at Lexie, his brow furrowed in confusion. "We?"

Lexie moved back behind Tommy so she could keep her hands on him to keep him from lunging at his twin brother, she was actually relieved when Tommy listened to her when it came to the truce and how they need to keep their hands to themselves. Sometimes the twins acted like two year olds. She lifted her gaze up to Tristan, her lips parting when the word we came out of his mouth. 

Tobias held onto Tristan as he lifted his gaze up to Lexie as well. He didn't know much about what was going on with the family business either so the whole finding out their cousin was in a coma was new to him as well. So his hands dropped from Tristan and he glanced at Tristan then at Lexie but he knew the blow was much bigger to Tommy than it was to him.

Lexie lifted her gaze to Tommy as she looked down at her hands for a second. "Tommy…" she looked back up at him as she pressed her lips together. Her sister had been tangled up in the business before she ran off and her father was embedded in it so.. "I'm sorry.."

Tristan realized his mistake the second it left his mouth, and he muttered "Ah, shit," to himself. He glanced over at Tobias, an apology in his eyes without him having to say the words. A lot went unspoken about what Tris does for the family, for Bryan and Liam, and Tobias had always seemed okay with it. Or at least tolerated it and understood. He knew they could talk just the two of them later, because Tommy was likely about to blow again.

"You knew…" Tommy was saying to Lexie. His eyes cast over to Tris for a moment, who was grinding his teeth hard, then back to Lexie. "The head of our family got beaten almost to death, he's supposed to be untouchable...You two…" Tommy let out a long stream of air and walked a few paces away, tugging his hands back through his hair. "You just have to get mixed up in this family shit, don't you? You have to put yourselves in the middle of shit that could get you killed." He turned his gaze to Tobias, looking for an ally. "You're okay with this, Tobias?" 

Tobias shoved his hands into his pockets, hearing what Tommy was saying about the head of the family was almost beaten to death and he just found himself staring at the area in front of him before looking at Lexie. Did she get mixed up into all of this too? Was that why she was always here? He had to wonder now what Tristan was doing with his nights and the fact he knew nothing about it was enough to make him want to double over in pain.

Lexie turned to look at Tommy as he started to pace. "It's family, Tommy." She thought about everything the O'Shea's had done for her after her father died, all the nights she hid out with the twins when her father was drunk and abusive. She lifted her gaze up to her boyfriend before moving towards him. "You gotta understand.." She started to say until he turned his attention to Tobias who looked like he was going to be sick.

"I didn't know any of it." Tobias found himself mumbling as he moved back a few steps. He knew Tristan was in this family but he never really thought about any of it. "I.." before he could say anything, the front door was opening again.

"You two do realize you have phones to answer -.." Aidan trailed in, looking at his phone before lifting his eyes to see Tommy and Tobias standing in the living room as well. "Oh…" He cleared his throat as he shoved his phone and hands into his pockets.  "Sorry. Just doing a headcount." He was going by all the people who were working for them and letting them know retaliation was going to happen and to make sure not to go anywhere alone. It also didn't help that no one could find Danica and Hunter's brother in-law was shot dead in her apartment. He turned his gaze towards Lexie and Tristan before moving towards the kitchen. "I'll let you guys finish up.." 

Tristan saw the look on his fiance's face and immediately felt a wash of guilt, his stomach twisting. He could take Tommy's wrath and Lexie's blame, but he'd never wanted to be the cause of that hurt in Tobias's eyes. "Baby, please…" he said, not even sure what he was begging him for in that moment. Tobias knew he was a soldier for Bryan, but maybe he'd just never realized the extent of what that meant. Tommy did though, which was why his eyes still flashed with anger. 

"Family, right," Tommy huffed at Lexie's words before whirling towards Tristan again. "What about me? What about him?" He gestured to Tobias, blinking hard as tears stung his eyes. "We're your family, Tris." 

Tristan felt a lump in his throat as he looked between the two most important people in his life. "Of course you are," he told Tommy. "This has all been about protecting you."

"Don't give me that shit!" Tommy yelled, his eyes red and glassy. But before Tristan could utter any kind of response to his brother, or comfort his fiance, the door flew open again. 

He literally threw his hands in the air in frustration. "Not a good time, man!" he told Aidan. 

Tommy looked at Aidan, and something dawned on him.  "Oh my god," he said. "That's why Ashlyn left...You're all in danger, so Bryan sent them away. I'm a fucking idiot." He stormed passed them all, giving Aidan a dark look. "I need some fucking air." He went through the kitchen to the little metal landing that led to the fire escape ladder.

Tobias found himself moving away from Tristan even with the pleading. He didn't know what to say or how to even breathe at this point. How could he have been so fucking naive? He glided his tongue along his lower lip, moving his hand out of his pocket and moving it down his face. He only lifted his eyes to look at Tommy before turning his gaze to Lexie who looked like she wanted to be swallowed up and all he wanted to do was ask her how involved in this she was because if she was defending Tristan in this. "Why are you defending this?"

Lexie turned her gaze to Tobias, looking at him before shrugging her shoulders. She wasn't sure if her being in tangled up in this was something that should come up now and Tommy seemed to be only upset with Tristan. So, she stood there instead of uttering a word because she didn't know what to say about any of it. Her head turned when Aidan came strolling in about a head count and it made her want to kick him. She knew something was different about him since he was kidnapped but this was crazy. "Aidan.." she gave him a look before looking at Tommy again. "Tommy…" She exhaled, moving after him. 

Tobias stood there. He had been a fucking idiot too. How could he have not pieced all of this together? He moved towards the chair, grabbing his jacket. "Me too." He said softly, moving to the front door. "And don't follow me." He turned his head to look at Tristan, opening the door and walking out. He slammed the front door and moved down the stairs to get to his car. 

Aidan leaned against the kitchen counter, looking at Tommy when he walked by and gave him a dirty look. He tried to stop Lexie but she pulled her arm away from his touch and went out the window to get Tommy. 

"Tommy, please. You're not an idiot." Lexie said as she crawled out the window and onto the fire escape. 

Tristan spared a glance at Aidan that just said help me with his eyes. Now he realized why Aidan had been keeping Ash at a distance, why he had once said that he didn't know how much longer she'd put up with him. He decided not to go after his brother yet, but like hell was he going to listen to Tobias's plea to not follow him. 

Tristan ran after him, letting the door swing shut loudly behind him. "Baby...baby!" he called, stopping Tobias before he could get in his car and drive away from him. "Please just talk to me. Please." 

Tommy was gripping the railing tight, his hands hurting from it, remembering nights when Tris would convince them all to share a joint right there on that ledge. He swallowed hard, not turning to look at Lexie when she joined him. Instead he gazed up at the blue sky, blinking hard, hoping gravity wouldn't pull the tears from his eyes. "You know I left because of all this," he reminded her, thinking back over five years ago. "I always knew Tris would fall into it, even after what happened to mom, but you too?" 

Tobias stopped when Tristan moved in front of him. He stared at his fiance, thinking about Liam being in a coma and the fact Ashlyn had been sent away because of the dangers rolling into Chicago. The fact Tristan didn't tell him any of this made him feel like a moron for thinking their relationship was different. He turned his gaze to look past Tristan, moving his hand to the door handle of his car to have something to hold onto. "What do you want me to say, Tristan?" He turned his gaze back to his fiance. 

Lexie stood behind Tommy as she kept her hands to her side. She turned her head to look up at the sky too, the simple nights all of them would have at this apartment. It honestly was something that should have been happening throughout the years. Her eyes moved to the back of Tommy's head when he talked about why he left. He left shortly before her father died and her sister ran off. She exhaled as she thought about everything Bryan did for her while Tommy was gone. How she was one of the people to help stitch up all the wounded. If she had been honest, she had been apart of it since the moment Tommy left. "I'm aware." She said softly. "If we are being honest. I've been apart of it since the moment you left." 

"I'm sorry," the apologies kept tumbling from from his mouth. "I told you you were way too good for me." It was supposed to be a running joke they had together, something Tris has been working on getting over. But now it seemed abundantly clear that he was just a thug after all, and Tobias deserved better. "I help Bryan out when he asks me to," he began, trying to explain. "I man the bar a lot, where everyone meets and stuff...Sometimes I beat people down who need a message sent. Lately I've just been Aidan's backup, or protection for Ash. I don't even know everything that's going on, but Bryan doesn't have me do much…" It didn't sound good, he knew. Tris took a step towards him,  reaching up to touch Tobias's face. "When this is over, when Bryan takes care of whatever this threat is, I'm done. Okay? I'll get a real job, I won't go back to the bar, I...I'll take care of you." 

Tobias gave him a look at the joke he was trying to make. That wasn't his problem. The job wasn't the problem, it was the fact Tristan never told him about any of it. He moved his hand up to Tristan's wrist to stop him from touching his cheek because he knew the second his fingers touched him that he would be a puddle because that was the effect Tristan had on him. He moved Tristan's hand back to his own body as he shook his head. "My problem isn't the fact you work for your shady family. I knew that the moment I came into your life and we became something." He said softly, dropping his hand from the handle of the door. "It's the fact you've kept me in the dark about everything. I didn't know how serious things were. I didn't know people in your family were getting hurt or dying. I didn't know your life was in danger, Tristan!" He raised his voice slightly which wasn't something he ever did especially with Tristan. "You left me in the fucking dark and that… that is not okay with me."

Tommy put his head in his hands as her words sunk in. He hadn't been able to cope with his mother's death, he and Tris were fighting, it had been so much easier to just run away and not look back. "Don't tell me that," he muttered, heartbroken. He finally turned to look at her, his eyes still red though no tears had fallen yet. "You two, and dad, are all I've got, okay? You're all I care about. And this shit, the family, I get it. But it got my mother killed. And I can't lose anyone else that I love." 

Tristan felt about ready to crack, hearing Tobias's words and seeing the look on his face. "I thought...I thought I could keep you safer, the less you knew," his voice was rough. Tristan didn't have his brother's control, and tears were already running down his face. He dropped his hand to his side when Tobias made it clear not to touch him. "I'm sorry," he said again, swallowing with some effort. "But I'm a nobody, I'm not in any real danger, or Bryan would've sent me away too." It was something he had to believe, the reason why Bryan held back and gave him less and less to do. "If you wanna go, baby, I'll get us away from here, just say the word and we're gone."

Lexie turned her head to look away from everything, wanting to get themselves out of the conversation and forget it was even happening. She understood where he was coming from but this was all she knew since he left. Being around Tristan and the pub. She walked over to the railing to stand next to him, putting her hands on it as she leaned against it. She inhaled as she closed her eyes, tilting her head down at his words. She lifted her head to look at him, seeing the red eyes. She moved her hand to his face, putting the palm of her hand right up against his cheek. "I know." She said softly, looking at him. "But people who have been there for me and who took me in when my dad died. They are in danger, Tommy. We are all in this shit whether we are actively in it or not." 

Tobias shook his head again, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't care. If you would have ended up dead because of this shit… What am I supposed to do, Tris?" His voice cracked as he turned, feeling the sting behind his eyes. "Who would have explained any of it to me?" He asked softly before looking back at his fiance. "Do you think you could even do that? Would we even be safe?"

Tommy looked over at her, not wanting to believe how true her words were but feeling it deep inside. "Is it worth your life? To be there for them?" He asked, voice rasping. "Can't they handle themselves? I mean...We're all just kids compared to them, they've been doing this all their lives." He thought about Bryan, even Hunter, who seemed to have no choice but be part of this life. He tipped his face into her hand, taking comfort from it but mostly just feeling useless. 

Tristan didn't know what to say. He knew the danger he signed up for years ago when he joined Bryan's ranks, but back them he never thought he'd be getting married, never thought he'd be someone to lose. "You're not gonna lose me, baby," he told him, reaching for his hands. He wished things could be easier, simpler for them. That they could be a regular couple whose only worry was their wedding venue. "I know, I'm a piece of shit," he muttered. "I'm so sorry, baby. I don't know, I don't know if we'd be any safer, but if you wanna go I'll go with you."

Lexie didn’t know what to say to that because she wasn’t sure. Besides Tommy and Tristan, she didn’t have anyone and when Tommy left all those years ago. All she had was Tristan who was deeply embedded in the whole thing. She didn’t really think she had anything to lose. She moved her fingers across his cheek, brushing her fingers down his cheekbone to his jaw as she put her fingers against his chin. “I don’t think my life is on the line. All we’ve been doing is helping out Aidan.” If she was being honest, it was honestly all her and Tristan had been doing lately and she was mostly doing it to keep an eye on Aidan, knowing Ashlyn would want her to more than anything. “Ever since he came back.” Her head turned over to the window, wondering if Aidan could hear her before looking back at Tommy. “Nothing is worth losing you so if you want me out.. I’m out.”

Tobias shook his head at his words. “You don’t know that.” His eyes lifted up towards him. “Did anyone know you were going to lose Liam?” He asked. He moved his hand over to him, taking his fiance’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “You are not a piece of shit. I just want you to include me in these things, Tris..” He moved closer to him, putting his other hand up onto Tristan’s face. “I’m okay if we stay but you have to tell me everything, Tris… Everything.”

Aidan popped his head out of the front door, turning to look over at Tristan. “I know you guys really have to talk this out but I came here for a reason. We really have to talk, Tris.” He gave him a look before shutting the front door again and moving to the couch. He had already poked his head out and told the other set of lovebirds he had to talk to them. He told Tommy he was more than okay to sit in on it but Aidan had to tell Tristan about Adam and about the fact Danica was missing and was probably already dead.

Tommy closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I don't know...I don't know what I want, I just…" Tommy took her hand off his cheek and kissed her palm. Then Aidan popped his head of the the window and Tommy sighed. "Okay, we're coming." 

Out on the street, tears were streaming down Tristan's face, and he clutched Tobias's hands. "I know, it's all so fucked up and I don't even know why all this is happening…" He nodded when Tobias asked him to tell him everything from now on. "I promise, baby," he said earnestly, reaching up to rub the tears from his face. Then Aidan came outside to get him,  and Tristan nodded at him.  "Yeah, got it." Before they went back inside, Tristan turned back to Tobias and cupped his face to kiss him for a moment.

Lexie let her eyes close for a second when he moved her hand off his cheek to kiss it. She pressed her lips together, biting down on her lower lip as a few tears slipped from her eyes which was something that almost felt impossible lately. She opened her eyes and turned her head over towards Aidan. She had forgotten he even shown up but it felt like the only time she had seen him lately was when he had bad news. She exhaled as she moved towards Tommy again, moving up and pressing her lips against his. She pulled back and brushed her fingers against the strands of his hair on the back of his neck before moving away from him and climbing back in the window. She moved towards the living room and stood in front of the coffee table, folding her arms. “Alright, Walsh…”

Tobias didn’t know how to feel about any of it. All he knew was Tristan had a heart of gold and would do anything for his family even things his twin brother had been uncomfortable with. He knew the majority of what had happened to their mother but he didn’t think to tie it with the family business until Tommy had pointed it out, well, not in actual words but it was a feeling Tobias now had. He turned his head to look over at Aidan, furrowing his brow. It was also weird being around Aidan lately too but he knew the man had been acting the same way towards his best friend as well. He turned back towards Tristan and kissed the other man back, moving his hands to his waist to tug his fiance into him. He pulled back after a second and took his hand, tugging him towards the living room where everyone seemed to be standing now.

Aidan stood up from the couch when Tristan walked in, his hands moving into his pockets as he turned his gaze towards Lexie then towards Tristan. “Adam is dead.” He said, although he was more than sure neither one of them even knew about the hunt for the mole in the family because of what had happened to Liam. He knew Bryan was trying to keep certain people at arm's length, whether it was to keep them safe or keep them in the dark he wasn’t sure but he had gotten the go to come tell both of them everything that was going on.

Tristan let out a breath after Tobias kissed him, murmuring "I love you," against his lips,  before turning back towards the apartment and walking back inside holding Tobias's hand. Once they all sat around in the living room again, Tristan sat next to Tobias on the couch, sandwiched between him and Tommy. 

"Who's Adam?" Tommy asked, looking around for clarification. 

Tristan looked up at Aidan, confused. "He's worked for Bryan since...well at least as long as I've been around...What happened?"

Lexie stood at the end of the couch right next to Tommy, her hand to his shoulder as she started to push her thumb gently into his shoulder blade to massage it. It was a nervous habit, her always having to do something with her hands when it felt like something bad was coming. Her eyes resting on Aidan, trying to figure out his words. It didn’t make sense for Adam to be dead, especially since he was one of the people in the inner circle. “Yeah, what Tris said..” 

Tobias sat there, turning his head over to look at Tommy because he honestly had the same question but now this whole thing felt surreal. At least when he didn’t know how bad it really was, it was something he was oblivious to and now it was something he had to face head on.

Aidan looked down at his feet before looking back up at him. “He was working for the..” He turned his head to look away from them as he played with the usb stick in his pocket before pulling his hands out to get his fingers away from him. “The family that took Lucia and I.” He glided his tongue along his lower lip. “He’s the reason Liam is in a coma.”

"He was a mole?" Tristan blurted out. It seemed crazy, that someone so close to Liam's inner circle had been a traitor the whole time. He gripped Tobias's hand tighter, realizing that he was right, they might not really know the danger they were all in. 

Tommy held his hand up as if he had a question in class. "Um, who the fuck are these people?" He asked, looking pointedly at Aidan. "People that kidnap us and kill us...and what, Bryan knows nothing?" He was feeling furious again but tried to reign it in, feeling some small comfort in Lexie's touch. 

Lexie let out a shaky breath at the confession, thinking about all the nights she spent in the pub, cleaning up and alone with Adam. She turned her head away and let out another breath, pressing her fingers lightly but in a tense manner into his shoulder. “Adam was a mole?” She turned her head even though Tristan had asked the same question. “He has spent the last five years with us, Aidan.” She used her other hand to move it to her stomach. “How does something like that happen so easily?”

Aidan parted his lips to say something back at Lexie but Tommy held up his hand and it only brought confusion all over his face. “They have a hacker or something on their side because we haven’t been able to figure a single thing out.” He would have given up the usb stick but he knew what they were capable of and putting his girlfriend on the line was out of the question to him. He glided his tongue along his lower lip. “He wouldn’t give anything up but he had a girl and she spoke fluent Russian so we know the family is Russian.” He shook his head. “That’s not it though.” He exhaled. “Uh, Lucia went to check on Danica this morning. They found uh.. Mason Hudson shot dead.. Turns out Mason is Hunter’s brother in law.” He pressed his lips together. “And Danica is missing.”

Tobias stared at Aidan for a second before shaking his head a little. “Danica isn’t even involved in the family business.” He had only met the girl a few times but after Julian died, it was like she didn’t want to be near anyone in the family. “Why the hell are they picking up people who have nothing to do with this?” His head turned to look over at Tommy, the twisted feeling in his gut coming up again. His hand moved towards Tristan’s, giving it a squeeze the second he touched it.

Tristan let out a long breath in a hiss, letting the news all settle in.  Someone they'd trusted, who'd been with them for five years, someone he'd been alone with and never thought a thing about it, had betrayed them. "Was Adam working for them the whole time or did they like, turn him against us?" He asked, before realizing that it probably didn't really matter. Tristan’s grip on Tobias's hand tightened, and dread twisted the pit of his stomach. Danica and Mason were outliers in this, not even really part of the family, and it made him terrified for Tobias and Tommy. If this Russian family just wanted to hurt them, it looked like they'd take anyone away from them.

"Danica is Julian's sister," he told Tommy, seeing the confusion on his face. "He was one of ours, pretty high up too, and he'd been with Lucia Winters…" he trailed off, biting his lip and thinking. 

Tommy just shook his head, trying to piece it all together and feeling overwhelmed. "What do we do, Aidan?" He asked. "Would we be safer all together?" He looked over at Lexie, part of him wishing he could just take them all back to California with him. 

Lexie was letting all the news settle in. She didn't realize how bad this whole thing was. She didn't realize anyone could be killed because of this other family and the fact that Adam had been turned because how could they let someone into the inner circle without knowing who they really were. Her head turned to look at Tristan, thinking about what had happened to Julian, of course, none of them knew the real truth of it all. Just that he was killed in front of Lucia. 

Tobias stared in front of him, feeling Tristan grip his hand tighter. He felt kind of numb about all of it. How was he supposed to feel, knowing this was everything Tristan had been tangled up with and the fact it was possible for any of them to lose their lives. Was Danica still alive? He turned his gaze to Aidan. 

Aidan exhaled. "He was working for them the whole time." He could feel the USB stick, burning a hole in his pocket along with the burner phone. He shook his head as he looked down at his feet, pulling the items out of his pocket and putting them on the table. He knelt down in front of the table and shook his head again, staring at the phone and the stick in front of him. 

Lexie's eyes moved to the stuff on the table then up to Aidan. She took a step forward, her hand slipping from Tommy's shoulder. "What is that, Aidan?" She felt a twisting inside her stomach when Aidan lifted his head to look up at her. His eyes were screaming in defeat because this room was full of people he knew he could trust with his life and she could see the pain of not wanting to spill all of his secrets out. 

"I don't know." He said after a second, clicking his fingers against the surface of the coffee table. His eyes moving to Tristan. "This. This is why I pushed everyone away, Tris." He gestured to the items on the table, knowing telling the four of them could lead to anything. "When I was in that room. After I watched the guard kill my father… after the man left me alone to get.." he cleared his throat. "He gave this to me on the last day I was there. He told me he was going to call this phone and he expected me to pick up.. do whatever the task was or he was going to kill Ashlyn." He just kept his eyes on Tristan. "Get out." His voice was soft before moving to Tommy. "Just pack up and leave. Because they hold the vulnerable emotions we all have and I don't know…" he turned his eyes back to Tristan. "I don't know what he wants from me but I can't be the reason Ash is dead."

Tristan leaned in, watching as Aidan took a few items out of his pockets and placed them on the table for everyone to see. He looked from the usb stick and the phone, up to meet his friend’s eyes, all the pieces sliding into place suddenly. “Shit…” he muttered, taking in a breath. “Look, it’s gonna be okay, Aid--”

“Okay?” Tommy cut in, clearly starting to panic. “He’s getting blackmailed to do, who knows what!” Tommy turned from his brother to look at Aidan. “What if they tell you to finish the job with Liam? What if, if they tell you to go after Bryan?”

“Tommy…” Tristan started, but didn’t know what to say, so the rest just came out as a sigh. “Ash was sent away, she’ll be safe wherever they are, right? Maybe you should...just tell Bryan the truth.” Tris looked from Aidan, over to his fiance next to him, letting the advice to just get out sink down into his bones. He didn’t want to leave Aidan, or Bryan, when they needed help the most. But he wasn’t willing to risk Tobias’s life. And it was clear that these people were okay going after anyone, anyone that would hurt the O’Shea family by losing. He let out a long breath and leaned back into the couch, pressing the heels of his hands hard into his eyes, trying to think. “Fuck fuck fuck…”

Aidan went to shake his head because none of it was okay. How could it be? He turned his gaze over to Tommy, knowing it was possible the man would have him do any of what Tommy was listing. He moved his head into his hands and actually wanted to start laughing because of the relief off his shoulders or how much this could get him in trouble. "These people are capable of anything, Tristan. They don't care who they kill as long as they get what they want." He shrugged his shoulders. "We are trusting the Italians to take care of her and Braeden. I'm not really sure how much lower we can get." He shook his head. "and telling Bryan about any of this. I don't know how much this family is listening in on."

Lexie took a few steps towards Aidan and moved down to kneel next to him. "You can't keep this in anymore, Aidan. It's obviously eating you alive." She moved her hand to his shoulder. She couldn't imagine what she would do in his shoes but if this family had threatened Tommy, Tristan, or Tobias.. She would probably feel the same way as him, burying it all in and pushing the three of them away. She turned her head over to look at Tris. "I know I would do the same thing as Aidan if they threatened Tommy.." her eyes moved to Tommy.

Tobias glanced at the stuff on the table before glancing around them. "Well, I know for a fact none of us are Russian." Bad joke to ease the tension. He thought about Olivia and her family, wondering if they could be targets but he highly doubted it. He turned his head over to Tristan, putting his arms around him and turning to look over him at Tommy. "Maybe Aidan's right. Maybe we should leave."

Tristan let out a huff of air through his nose, reaching for something Aidan said that he could reply to, when it all felt so terrifying. “Siding with the Italians is the least of our worries right now,” he pointed out. “The truce has been solid for a while, we’re all in this together--hell, Ash told me that Bryan and Lucia are practically inseparable. So she’ll be fine with them, Aid.” He sighed and shrugged, not sure if telling Bryan about it was the right thing or not. He leaned into Tobias’s side when his fiance’s arm came around him, his mind reeling with thoughts. 

Tommy worried his bottom lip with his teeth, a nervous habit. He didn’t know what to say to Lexie, his heart pounding and his gut twisting. The thought that she could do something he’d never thought she was capable of, if he was threatened...he didn’t want to think about that. He looked over at Tobias, seeing the distress his brother was also in, wondering about just leaving. “I still know people in LA,” he offered. “I could get us settled somewhere, but…” He shook his head, it all sounded so crazy. His thoughts raced ahead, imagining it--he’d easily get a job at his old firm again, make enough money to support them, find them a place, Tristan would protect them. “Tris…” he turned towards his twin, his voice cracking a little, blinking against prickling in his eyes again. “What about your wedding?”

Tristan looked at Tobias, his heart sinking at the idea of putting it all off any longer. “We’ll figure it out.”

There was a silence in Aidan, knowing Tristan had been right when he talked about how inseparable Lucia and Bryan had been. Honestly, the male was waiting for the other shoe to drop, a part of him couldn’t stop thinking about the fact Lucia had probably been in the room next to his and it was more than possible she was given the same things as him or was told to get close to Bryan in order to take them all down but.. He had to admit he was more paranoid than usual. Especially when it came to being close with the people in this room and his own girlfriend. He inhaled as he lifted his head up towards Lexie, shaking his head. “You don’t know the things I’ve done.” He said quietly, thinking about the man he brutally killed a few months ago. 

Lexie turned her head to look at Aidan, there was a part of her who wanted to pull him into her arms and hold him. She wanted him to know any one of them would have caved to the pressures to protect the ones they loved. She turned her head over towards the love of her life, seeing him start to chew on his lower lip which made her stand up from where she was and move over to him, putting herself on his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. She honestly would never be sure what she would have done in Aidan’s place but all she knew was all those long nights alone with Adam was starting to hit her all at once. She put her head on his shoulder, brushing her nose against the crook of his neck.

Tobias turned his head over towards Aidan. Honestly, a part of him knew how Tristan felt when he came home with bruises all over his face. His fiance would have taken matters into his own hands if Tobias had let him. He moved his hand towards Tristan, giving his hand a little squeeze as he turned his head over to face him. “Let’s go get married now.” He said softly. “We go get married.. Pack up our stuff and leave this crap behind. LA sounds like a good place for all of us to start over and stay out of all this until it’s over.” He knew it would be hard to let Liv know about what he was doing but he couldn’t live without Tristan and if anything happened to him in this town he would never forgive himself.

Tristan pursed his lips at Aidan’s words. He’d been suspecting that Aidan had been into something all those nights he’d asked Tristan to cover for him if anyone asked. He’d done his best to look out for him like Bryan asked, to have his back and protect him, but it was clear now why Aidan had been pushing him away. “Bryan wouldn’t blame you,” he pointed out. “Whatever you did, was to keep Ash safe.” 

Tommy didn’t know what else to say, but when Lexie slipped into his lap he just put his arms around her and bent his head down. All he ever wanted was a quiet, normal life, but his last name always prevented that from being the case. That was why he had tried to run away from it all. The thought of running again turned his stomach, but if the people he cared about came with him this time, it would be different. “We need to take Dad with us, if we go,” he said, turning to Tris. “We can’t leave him here alone.” Colin may not have ties to the family business anymore, but he was still Desmond O’Shea’s brother, and if this other family was going after people close to Bryan, he might be a target. Getting their dad to leave the store behind would be tough, but he had to believe that they’d all come back, hopefully sooner than later. 

Tristan couldn’t help the little gasp he let out when Tobias suggested they just get married. “Babe...you said you didn’t want to elope,” he said, but that was before things were so dire. “We’ve been planning this for a year…” Then he shook his head, a smile blooming on his face. “But, yeah, yes. We have all the important stuff, right? We can do it today if you want.” Grinning, he grabbed Tobias’s face and kissed him hard but briefly. Then he turned to everyone else in the room. “Okay, all hands on deck, we’re throwing a wedding, people!” he said excitedly, before pointing at Aidan, who he suspected might try to escape. “Not so fast, Walsh. You’re on official bodyguard duty.”

Aidan didn't murder the man who killed his father to protect Ashlyn but he wasn't going to say what he did. He was more than sure Tristan had somewhat of an idea of what he had done. "Yeah I don't know." He knew how much Bryan had been 

pissed about the Adam thing he wasn't sure how Bryan was going to say about the information he had in his pocket the whole time. 

Lexie let herself relax against Tommy, pressing her nose against the crook of his neck. Her fingers moved up towards the back of his neck, playing with the strands of his hair. She knew taking his father would be important so she lifted her head from his shoulder and kissed the side of his head. "I'll go wherever you go." She muttered against his ear. "We will convince you father."

Tobias let a little smile come along his lips. "Yeah, well… Life tends to be a little crazy.. might as well join it." He laughed as he nodded his head. "We get married today and run away to Cali." He kissed Tristan back, moving his hand to the back of his head to keep their lips together. He exhaled when Tristan pulled away to face everyone in the room. His fingers moved to his lips and laughed a little, standing up. "Let's do this, people." 

Aidan was planning on getting up and leaving until Tristan pointed him out about staying to be the official bodyguard. "Alright. I have to check in with Bryan but we can have a wedding."

Despite how much was still uncertain and frightening about everything going on around them, Tristan couldn’t help but be filled with a sudden giddy excitement. It didn’t really matter how he married Tobias in the end, as long as they were married. They could always have a big party sometime in the future, but for now it was just about them. “Okay, no one else is invited except who’s in this room,” he said, standing up next to Tobias. “And Dad.” 

Tommy gave Lexie a little squeeze, glad to hear her words that she would go with him no matter what. He’d been worried she might want to stay here and go down with the ship like Bryan, so escaping to LA with her was a relief. He laughed a little at how excited Tristan got at the idea of throwing their wedding that day, and he shook his head in amusement. “Okay, what do you need?”

Tristan opened his phone to the list of wedding things that he’d been keeping and started rattling it all off. “We have the tuxes, just need to pick them up,” he said, glancing up at Tommy and Lexie. “Best Man, you can wear that,” he said, gesturing to the suit Tommy had worn to work that day anyway. “Lex, run a comb through your hair or something,” he teased. 

“Where do you think we should do this thing?” he asked Aidan, trusting his judgement on what would be safest. “We got the marriage license, we just need a Justice of the Peace or something to sign it.”

Eyes going wide, he turned to Tobias. “Shit, rings, we need rings!”

Lexie slid off Tommy's lap when he had asked what Tristan was going to need because all she wanted was to be around Tommy at this moment and maybe find some time to make this up to him. She tugged her shirt down and moved her hands up to her hair, ruffling her fingers through it. "I could always make my hair worse." She flashed a grin at Tristan before winking at Tommy. Her head turning to the door as she thought of where she would go pick up the tuxes. 

Tobias knew Travis and Zooey were probably busy and he didn't want to explain to them why they had to move up the wedding. "Calm down." He laughed softly as he moved to their bedroom real quick and came out with a box. He opened the box, flashing two rings. "I picked them up last week." He smiled up at Tristan.

Aidan sent Bryan a text message about how he was with the gang, shoving the phone into his pocket he lifted his gaze up towards Tristan. "We can just do it. Someone get ordained online."

Tommy laughed at Lexie’s quip to his brother, feeling a little lighter in the wake of this distraction. “We can get the tuxes,” he offered, watching as they all started to scramble to get things done. He leaned up to see where Tobias was running off to until he came back with the rings. 

Tristan beamed, mentally checking one more thing off his list. He leaned in to see the simple white-gold bands then looked back up at his fiance. “They’re perfect,” he told him. Then he turned towards Aidan when he suggested that one of them could just get ordained online. “No, it takes 24 hours,” he said. “We’re gonna have to go to city hall…” He looked back at Tobias. “You know anybody?”

"Tommy and I are going to get the tux. You guys just text us and tell us where to meet you." Lexie wanted to get the tuxes before the store closed because she knew how important it was to get the wedding done that night so they could all rush home to pack up. She reached out and took Tommy's hand, tugging him towards the door. 

Tobias let a smile come along his lips as he nodded his head. "Yeah. I was going to show you later tonight." He glanced up to look at Tristan before turning his head to Aidan. He parted his lips as he turned his head to look at Tristan. "I don't know anyone who could marry us."

Aidan watched both of them. "We could go to City Hall. I highly doubt the family plans on coming to take down a wedding. Right now their main focus is getting back at Bryan and Lucia. And they are using Danica to do it." He shrugged. He knew how horrid it all sounded but he didn't exactly see it being that horrible.

It was crazy to think that Tommy had left work to run home and punch Tristan in the face, and now they were running around to get his brother married. But he guessed it was about par for the course with how crazy their lives had gotten. He took Lexie’s hand and let her drag him out of the apartment. “This is nuts,” he said with a laugh as they made their way to the tailor. Once they were in the back of a cab on their way, he looked over at her. “You really want to come to LA?”

Tristan waved away Aidan’s words, not wanting to think about Danica right now. “Happy thoughts, man. Happy vibes,” he teased. “Okay, we’ll go to City Hall and beg someone to perform a quick ceremony,” he went on, going over to Tobias’s desk where they had the folder with the marriage license. “Do we need anything else?”

Lexie laughed as she nodded her head. "It is so crazy." She couldn't believe the two of them were going to get married tonight. It felt surreal. She got into the back of the cab and turned her head over towards him. She slid closer to him and moved onto his lap, ignoring the mutters of the taxi driver begging her to sit down in her own seat. "Yeah, I do." She leaned down and kissed him, putting her hands on each side of his neck.

Tobias made a face at Aidan with his words, not believing he went all negative on them. He held onto the rings and shook his head. "We can have Aidan film it with his phone so we can show everyone who missed it later." He said as he looked over at Aidan who was standing there and waiting for them to go. 

Tommy blushed bright red when she climbed into his lap and the cab driver grumbled at them, but all he could do was meet her lips and kiss her back. LA was going to be totally different with his little family in tow, he couldn’t help but wonder what his old friends there would think, but they honestly weren’t that important. His hands settled on her hips until the cab pulled to a stop and the driver cleared his throat loudly at them to get out. “Um, thank you sir--” Tommy stammered, handing him the money and a large tip. Tristan had texted them on the way, and he looked at his phone as they walked into the tailor shop. “We’re meeting them at City Hall...I hope they find someone to do it today.”

Tristan smiled and nodded at the idea of Aidan filming the little ceremony for everyone who was missing it. “C’mon,” he said with a grin, gesturing for Aidan to follow them as they hurried out the door with the marriage license and the rings. Tristan chattered in the car as Aidan drove them all the way to City Hall, reminding Tobias of all the crazy ideas they’d found on Pinterest and talked about for their wedding day. “But this is better than all that,” he insisted, reaching over for Tobias’s hand. 

Lexie couldn’t help but grin at the fact he was turning bright red. When the cab came to a stop and the cab driver cleared his throat to get them out of the cab, a chuckle left her lips. She got out of the car off of Tommy’s lap, adjusting her dress to pull it back down so  it wasn’t too high up. She waved to the cab driver and chuckled once again as she turned to look at the front of the store, moving behind the cab and onto the curb as she turned to look over at him. “Have some faith in love, Tommy.” She moved over to the front door of the store and grabbed the handle, pulling it open.

Aidan shook his head as he moved out of the apartment with them, getting into the driver’s side of the car. He started up the car and started driving them to City Hall as Tobias turned his head over to look at Tristan. “I think it’s better to.” He leaned in and kissed Tristan, putting his hand on the back of his head.

“Alright, alright,” Tommy agreed with a chuckle as he followed her into the shop. When someone came up to help them, Tommy quickly told the man that the order was either under O’Shea or Warren and that they were in quite a hurry. The worker went to the back to look, and Tommy glanced over at Lexie with a hopeful look. “Um, sorry for before,” he said. “I overreacted and--Tris makes me crazy sometimes.”

Tristan smiled against Tobias’s lips, kissing him before nuzzling his nose against him for a second. “So...LA, huh?” he asked, making sure Tobias was okay with the idea of packing up and leaving. Tristan wasn’t leaving much behind, he was taking everyone he cared about with him and his job wasn’t even a real job. Tobias was the one who was putting things on hold. Tristan thought of something then, and leaned up between the seats to talk to Aidan. “Hey, you gonna be okay here by yourself?” he asked, not liking the idea of Aidan staying behind but knowing he would.

Lexie walked into the shop and stood there, waiting for them to grab the tuxes. She leaned against the counter, turning herself to look over at him as she lifted her gaze up to his face. She shook her head at his words. “Don’t apologize for having emotions, Tommy.” She moved closer to him, moving her finger through his belt loop and tugging him towards him. “You know.. It was actually kind of sexy.” 

Tobias let a smile come along his lips against the kiss as he pulled back to look at him. “Yeah, LA.” He nodded his head. “I think it would be good for us. Call it a honeymoon. I’m sure Liv wouldn’t mind if I took some time away from here. I’m glad she is no where near any of this because her and her family are finally now on track.. I couldn’t imagine tearing it down.” Aidan turned his head over towards him when he pulled up to the City Hall, he nodded his head as he looked at him. “Yeah, you don’t need to take care of me anymore.”

Tommy blushed crimson again, looking down at her between their height difference as she tugged him against him. “Stop,” he muttered through a quiet, nervous laughter. He leaned down to kiss her briefly, then the worker came back out with two garment bags on hangers and he backed away. “Let’s take a look before we go,” he said, opening one of the bags to see the white tux and smiling. “I still can’t believe my brother’s getting married.”

Tristan nodded, smiling as he laced his fingers through Tobias. “She’d give you a good recommendation, too,” he pointed out. “I feel bad, you and Tommy have worked so hard to build your careers.” He trailed off with a shrug, hoping everything would work itself out in the end. It would be easy for Tris, all he was was a bartender. As they parked, Tristan punched Aidan in the shoulder. “You’re always gonna need me, asshole, so shut up,” he said. “I just mean...you better watch your back, man, or Ash will kill me.”

They all headed inside City Hall, and Tris looked around trying to figure out where to go. They got in the line for inquiries and he bounced on the balls of his feet as they had to wait. When they finally got up to the front of the line, Tristan flashed a smile. “Hi, we need a Justice of the Peace to marry us, as soon as possible, it’s an emergency.”

The lady raised her eyebrow. “A marriage emergency?” she asked in a bored voice, looking at them.

“Yes,” Tristan insisted. “We already have the marriage license, we just need someone to perform it.”

The woman just shook her head. “You need to make an appointment,” she said, tapping her pen against a sign next to her window about appointments. 

Tristan sighed dramatically. “Please, there’s gotta be someone free--”

The lady tapped the sign again, hard, with each word she spoke, “Make. An. Appointment.”

 Lexie let a smile come along her lips when she noticed how red he was getting. "Stop?" She kissed him back as she put her arms around his waist. "I love you," she muttered before turning her head to look at the bags of tuxes. She opened one of the tuxes to make sure it had Tobias written on the tag. "I got Tobias's tux." She turned her head over towards him. "I know I'm still feeling surreal about the whole thing."

Tobias shrugged his shoulders. "I don't mind it. I've liked my career so far." It was true. He enjoyed being the campaign manager for Liv and the fact she won felt even better. He moved to get out of the car, standing there to wait for Aidan and Tristan.

Aidan turned to look back at him. "Yeah, I will be." He would. He would never look at what the USB stick had on it and he just hoped the phone would never ring. He got out of the car and went up the stairs with them towards the window. He stood behind the boys, staring straight at the lady behind the window. 

Tobias moved his gaze to the sign, exhaling. "Please." He pleaded with Tristan. 

Aidan tapped on their shoulders, trying to get them both to part and when they did he moved up to the window, leaning against it slightly. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

Tommy, still blushing and flustered, felt lit up by her words. He muttered, for the first time in his life, “I love you too,” then pressed their lips together. It’s brief and quite innocent, because they’re in public and he can be a bit of a prude, and the worker is coming back towards them, so Tommy just decides to focus on the suits in their hands while his ears burn. “Well, uh, they look great, sir--” he stammered to the employee, before Lexie grabs his hand to lead him out. “Thank you!”

Tristan was about to lose it on the City Hall lady, when Aidan brushed them aside and he stepped over to let his best friend up to the window, his jaw dropping a little. He’d been expecting Aidan to bang his fists on the table and get all intimidating, Tristan has seen him do it before. Now, he was watching Aidan Walsh seduce a woman about 20 years older than him. 

“Oh, well, this is a new hairstyle,” the cougar-lady cooed, fluffing her hair a little. Her hand came back down to settle on top of Aidan’s with a coy smile. 

Lexie let a smile come along her lips when he said the words back; she couldn’t believe how simple she said it but she had to let him know how she felt especially after everything that had not even an hour ago. She moved back from him, holding the tux in her hand as she lifted her gaze up to the worker, giving him a small smile. “Yeah, they are great.” She took him out of the store and glanced around. “We should have made the cab driver stay.”

Tobias turned his head to look over at Aidan, arching a brow at him because it honestly shocked him as well. Usually, Aidan did everything he could to be intimidating and now he was standing there and flirting with the woman at the window. 

“I can tell. It really works for you.” Aidan muttered, turning his hand so his hand could be on top. He moved his fingertips lightly against her wrist as he leaned in a little closer. “Look.. I know it’s not professional or it breaks the rules but my two friends back here.. We just found out one of them is sick and all they want is a happy and healthy life together before it gets worse.. You think you could break the rules this one time? I’d really…” He brought her hand up towards his lips, giving it a kiss. “Appreciate it.” He looked up at her from under his eyelashes.

Tristan had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing as he watched Aidan work his magic on the lady, catching Tobias’s eye and nearly losing it. He couldn’t even make some comment or pretend to be dying, because he knew he’d ruin it, so he back up a step and put his hand over his mouth. 

“Oh, alright,” the lady said, batting her eyelashes at him and swooning when he kissed her hand. “In the name of love, I suppose. Third floor, he’s on lunch but I’ll tell him you’re coming.”

Tristan pumped a fist in the air and mouthed yes! to Tobias, just as Tommy and Lexie burst through the doors behind them. “Third floor, come on!” he called to them, rushing everyone towards the elevator. Tommy followed them, holding the elevator door open for Aidan. “What…is going on?”

“Thanks sweetcheeks.” Aidan winked at her before moving away from the counter, walking after both of the boys. 

Tobias honestly couldn’t believe Aidan had been able to do it, his hand nudging into Tristan’s shoulder as he finally was able to laugh after they moved a few feet away from the window. “Holy crap, that was amazing.” He turned his head when he saw Lexie and Tommy rushing in. He moved into the elevator with Aidan right behind him.

Lexie turned her head to look over at them, panting as she finally got into the elevator. She glanced around at the boys before looking over at Tommy. “Yeah, what he said.”

“Aidan just seduced an old lady for us!” Tristan burst out once the elevator doors shut. He doubled over in laughter for a few moments, having to actually wipe tears from the corners of his eyes and catch his breath. Tommy just shook his head at the three of them, puzzled but amused, until the doors opened on floor three. 

They followed the signs for the Justice of the Peace office, and everyone came to a halt outside. Tristan hitched a thumb at the restroom across the hall. “We gotta get changed,” he said, holding his hand out for his tux. “Tommy, you’re on ring duty. Everyone else, uh, just tell the dude we’re coming.”

Lexie turned her head to look over at Tristan who bent over and laughing as hard as possible, it actually brought a smile to her face because it had been a while since Tristan laughed like that and the fact Aidan did something that wasn’t dark and mysterious for the first time in months. 

Tobias took his tux from Lex, giving her a one arm hug before moving to another bathroom so Tristan wouldn’t see him in it. Aidan gave Tristan a nod, moving to go find the guy who was going to marry them. 

“C’mon, you gotta help me tie my tie,” Tristan said to his brother, who nodded as he stuck the rings in his pocket. They just locked the door behind them, not bothering with stalls since the twins had changed in front of each other a million times in their lives. Tris handed Tommy bits of his clothes as he got into the white tux, then stood up to straighten it all, the tie loose around his neck. 

“Come here,” Tommy said, chuckling as he balled up his old clothes. Tristan never learned how to tie a tie, because he always had Tommy to do it. Tommy avoided his gaze during the intimate moment of tying his brother’s tie, clearing his throat lightly. “You nervous?” he asked him. 

“Fuck yes,” Tristan said with a laugh. “I’m getting married in like two minutes.”

Tommy shook his head, laughing too. “You guys are great together,” he told him, finishing his tie and then clapping him on the shoulder. “I’m really happy for you.”

Tristan beamed, but didn’t say anything, just stepped over to look at himself in the mirror. He’d never worn a tux before. “I forgot shoes,” he said with a sigh, tipping his regular Converse to the side to look at them with the tux. 

“Yeah, but it looks good,” Tommy assured him. “It looks like you.”

Tristan let out a long breath. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Tobias stood in the bathroom, looking at himself as he tried to tie his tie. Lexie knocked on the door and pushed it open. “Hey you,” she said to him as she walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her, moving over to him as she held her hand out to him. “Let me see.” Tobias exhaled as he held out the tie to her, feeling his hands start to shake.

“Someone is nervous,” she teased him as she put the tie on him, tying the tie around his neck as she moved her hands towards the jacket, fixing it as she gave him a little pat. “Yeah, I’m nervous… I never imagined how fast this day would come and all the wedding planning and the family drama..”

“It’s going to be fine. You guys are perfect together.” She moved her hands to his as she gave his hands a squeeze before moving behind him to look into the mirror.  “Are you ready?”

“More than ready..” Tobias said with a smile on his face. “The only sad thing is my best friends aren’t here.” 

Lexie put her hands on his arms and inhaled, moving her gaze up to look at him. “I am no Travis but I’ll stand by you.” 

Letting out a breath, Tristan opened up the door with Tommy right behind him, holding the garment bag with Tristan’s old clothes rolled up inside over his arm. He let Tristan go before him, waiting for the two of them to see each other. Tristan felt a little silly, knowing they picked out the matching white tuxes together so they both knew what they looked like. But it was different, seeing his fiance in it right before they tied the knot. He stopped in his tracks when Tobias came out of the other bathroom, his breath caught in his throat as it all hit home at once. 

“Holy shit,” he muttered, “we’re getting married.” He went towards Tobias, reaching to take both his hands and look him over with a smile. “Baby, you look…” he exhaled again, chuckling nervously, “amazing.”

He looked up as the office door in front of them opened to Aidan standing with the Justice of the Peace that they’d stolen from his lunch break. Tristan turned, offering Tobias his arm. “You ready?”

Tobias exhaled as he walked out of the bathroom, his eyes landing on Tristan almost instantly. His lips parted slightly as he sharply inhaled at the sight of his fiance. He chuckled a little as he moved to meet his man. His hands moving to his as he looked down at them. Honestly, he was so nervous he wasn’t even sure what to do with himself. 

“Holy shit, we’re getting married.” He repeated as he lifted his eyes up towards his face. “I could say the same thing about you.” 

“More than I’ve ever been ready for something in my life.”

“Me too,” Tristan said, a smile growing on his face and his stomach still fluttering with nerves. They walked in, arms linked, towards the officiant who was waiting for them. 

“Keep it short and sweet, I take it?” the guy asked, smiling at them as they approached. 

Tristan nodded. “We can’t wait another second.” He turned to face Tobias, holding both of his hands and looking into his face as the officiant started a brief spiel, using their full names on the marriage license. 

“Would you like to say any words of your own?” he asked them, and Tristan took a short breath. They hadn’t written their vows yet--or at least, he hadn’t, he wasn’t entirely sure if Tobias did his on his own--but he decided to just speak from the heart. 

“From the moment we met, I knew you were gonna be special to me,” he began. “And somehow, I managed to convince you to keep me around.” He chuckled a bit. “You stood by me through the ups and downs, the good and the bad. You taught me how to be patient--well, more patient. And you taught me what it feels like to be loved for who I am. I love you more than I can put into words, Tobias, and I’m gonna spend every day the rest of our lives showing you.”

Tobias let himself walk into the room with Tristan on his arm, his head turning to look over at him as his hand gave his arm a squeeze, the nerves radiating through his entire body and the urge to vomit was almost overbearing. HIs body turned to face his future husband as he nodded his head to what the man who was marrying them said.

HIs lips parted to say no because he was completely unprepared to speak from his heart at that moment but the second the man in front of him took a deep breath, his lips shut and his eyes were glued on the man he loved with all of his heart. 

HIs eyes were completely betraying him at this moment, the tears stinging in them as he cleared his throat with a little chuckle as his thumb brushed along the back of Tristan’s hand. 

“Tris,” he said softly as he glanced down to look at their hands. “You came into my life at a time where I honestly didn’t think I was worthy of more than I had, I was a small town boy in a large city, trying to push his way into the political world and I got a little lost along the way, making some mistakes.. But the one mistake I didn’t make was taking you home that night.” He cleared his throat, glancing at the male who was standing in front of them to marry them. “You dealt with a melt down of mine a few weeks into our relationships and still fought to keep me. I never..” He cleared his throat to keep himself from getting a dry throat because of the tears in his eyes. “I never thought someone could love me the way you do and I’ll never let that go. I’m going to spend the rest of my life, making I’m worthy of the love you give me.”

Tristan’s heart was pounding, in excitement, nerves, and disbelief that this all came together so fast. His hands were trembling a little, and he gripped Tobias’s hands tighter, his eyes fixed on his fiance’s face. Tobias’s words hit home, and he felt everything they’d been through together wash over him in a wave of love. He nodded, his eyes teary, when Tobias wondered aloud if he was worthy of being loved like this. 

The officiant brought their attention back when he asked if they had rings to exchange. From behind them, Tommy cleared his throat, tears flowing openly down his face as he came forward to give them both the rings. 

“You big sap,” Tristan muttered, but his heart was soaring. 

“Shut up and get married already,” Tommy said back teasingly, with a sniffle. 

They each held one of the rings, waiting for their cues. 

The officiant addressed Tristan first. “Do you, Tristan, take Tobias to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Smiling wide, Tristan slipped the ring onto Tobias’s left hand. “I do.”

Tobias couldn’t believe the day had come, the two of them were finally getting married and everything was going to be right in the world. He kept his eyes on Tristan, doing his best to keep the tears from falling from his eyes but not succeeding whats so ever. He moved his thumb along the back of Tristan’s hand.

His eyes lifted up to look at Tommy, a smile coming along his lips as he turned his head back to look at Lexie who was crying as well. 

“I love you guys.” She muttered as she lifted her eyes up towards him, giving him the ring.

“And do you, Tobias, take Tristan to be your lawfully wedded husband?” 

Tobias let a smile come along his lips as he slipped the ring onto Tristan’s left hand. “I do. I really fucking do.”

Tristan didn't even wait for the officiant to make the official pronouncement, he just rushed in and cupped Tobias's face in both hands and kissed him. It felt like something so simple, and yet bigger than all of them. He brushed the tears from his husband's cheeks and smiled against his lips. When they parted he let out a breath and tipped their foreheads together. Behind them everyone was cheering for them, and Tristan had never felt happier in his life. "I love you so fucking much," he murmured before a giddy laugh escaped him. 

Tobias didn’t even have time to let a grin come across his face before Tristan’s lips were on his. His hand moved towards the back of his head, threading his fingers through his husband’s hair, his lips moving back against his. When Tristan parted their lips, his eyes flickered up to look at him as she moved both of his hands up towards the back of Tristan’s head. “I love you so fucking much.” He muttered. He pulled his head away from Tristan, glancing around at them. “Who is ready to get the fuck out of here?”

[avasharpescanary]

So we spent this weekend in London at Heroes and Villains, and I swear to god it was one of the best cons I've attended. The main highlight for me were the guests: Caity Lotz, Katie Cassidy and Juliana Harkavy made our weekend! 💖
Caity Lotz is so beautiful, she has the bluest eyes I've literally ever seen. I mean... I was weak at the knees in her presence. Sara Lance means a huge amount to me, so getting to meet her (even though the photo ops were so brief) was amazing 💖 She complimented my Lance family shirt in our Lance sisters op which made me melt a little... 😍 But then in my solo I accidentally smacked her in the stomach because my damn arms wouldn't cooperate... My shoulder decided to freeze so I had to kind of swing it out... I don't think it was hard and I did apologise, but I still feel awful about it 😩 
So grateful that I got to see her, even if I didn't get to wear my Avalance "I don't want you to be normal" shirt (damn, that quote... I'm with Sara on giving up on never having a "normal life" so it means a lot! ❤️). Just so grateful for her general beauty and existence 💖

Katie Cassidy is actually an angel and I love her. Again she's SO beautiful and so so sweet... Ugh. I've loved her since Supernatural, her characters have literally bookmarked my university career, and it means the world to get to see her again 💖 On Saturday we got to give her the gifts that we'd got (a little game controller squishy thing, a book of cute cat pictures and a love spoon) and I swear I was so anxious about it I was shaking before we even approached her booth. I was so nervous about the love spoon, because really it's a super intimate thing (they're an old Welsh tradition, given as engagement or wedding presents) and I was so worried that she would think it was weird... But then when we gave them to her she seemed to really like them (which was a relief!) and I got to explain the tradition a little bit and everything. She was so sweet to us, and genuinely is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I may or may not have shook and for like an hour after and cried a little through sheer relief that she liked the presents and also love for her.... 😭💖

Then on Sunday we went back for another selfie and for me to get my auto, and I managed royally screw the whole thing up. I could feel myself talking kinda like a robot when I was trying to tell her how much Laurel means to me. When I get really anxious/stressed I get these moments where my mind is just blank and I basically forget the English language (thank you medications and chronic pain for that!) and that was what happened... I managed to ask her to write the quote I wanted to get "This is me being strong" but completely neglected to tell her why because I was so busy trying to remember how to talk.... Basically, it's a Laurel line from a scene in season 2, after Sara (as the Canary) stops her from relapsing into alcoholism in a particularly stressful situation involving hostages and shit. Laurel is talking about how she just wanted her sister to see that she could be strong (not knowing she's talking to Sara). The whole scene Laurel is just so brave and so strong, and it's one of the scenes that has made the biggest impact on me. 
I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for her to film the entirety of season 2, because Laurel went to such a dark and brutal place. I can't imagine the toll it must have taken, but I can say that I love and appreciate Katie Cassidy for showing me that even when you're at rock bottom you can be strong. I don't have an addiction problem, but I do have chronic pain which is becoming more and more debilitating as the years go on and an addictive personality. It would be so easy for me to fall into the path that Laurel did, but I hold on because I need to prove to myself and to everyone around me that I am strong despite my pain. 
The thing that I didn't manage to get out was that I am going to get that phrase (in her writing, since I now have it) tattooed on my right arm. When I was 15 I tore the tissue between my thumb and forefinger on my right hand, and from there my life changed forever when I developed Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. The pain that was contained to my right hand has now spread right up my arm, around my neck and down my left arm, and I'm currently also being tested for rheumatoid arthritis- yay for yet more pain! But with all of this, I have held on. As Laurel, even before she became the Black Canary, Katie has been my superhero. I fight on every single day and enjoy every single second because that is what Laurel Lance would do. I wanted to change the world, and I still do. My pain has basically taken my dream of doing that in the way I wanted away from me, but I will find another way and I will come back stronger. 
There is so much I could say about what Laurel Lance has taught me. I've been confronted by my own cruelty as a sibling through watching Sara and Laurel's early interactions; the scene where Laurel throws the glass after Sara as she leaves the apartment honestly gave me chills. The relationship between my brother and I has been strained for many years, mostly because of a difficult school life and the fact that due to his Autism he would frequently meltdown, and I was the main target for that. Even now I still am to an extent. I'm not as brave or strong as Laurel, I can't go to him and ask him not to hate me, at least not yet, but I have had a mirror held up to me and I'm trying to be better.
When I found out that Laurel died (I started watching very late) I was crushed. She was someone who had fought so hard to get back to the top, and then was snuffed out in the most pointless of ways just as she reached her peak. I was devastated and my depression worsened quite considerably for a while because if Laurel Lance, a genuine superhero, could not have her chance to shine what hope do I have? It made me feel hopeless, because all of that fighting and all of that struggle that inspired me so much was for nothing. It was a waste. I refused to watch Arrow for months after because I could not bear to see an episode without Katie in it. It wasn't until she was announced as a regular for season 6 that I started watching again... Laurel Lance means the world to me. Without Katie Cassidy I wouldn't have been able to complete my degree, because I would watch videos of inspiring Laurel scenes on a loop while I was completing my dissertation; it was all I had to keep me fighting on. 99% of my 2:1 belongs to her. 
But yeah... That was a super long ramble and it doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how I feel about Laurel and about Katie...

The surprise of the con for us was Juliana Harkavy, what an actual angel that woman is 😭💖 Lexie and I were both in love as soon as we met her on Saturday; I mean I was pretty sure I would be anyway going off social media but you never know. I feel really bad that Dinah has annoyed me so much this season now... Although that's not because of her! We both said when we were talking about it that we've never felt so comfortable talking to anyone at cons- she's got a way to put you at ease instantly and it's amazing and I know we both really appreciated it 💖 It was almost like talking to a friend? 💖

We pretty much immediately decided we were going back to see her again on Sunday but when we did we saw she wasn't feeling well, which had us both immediately anxious for her and not expecting to see her on the con floor again... Well we were wrong? Honestly I'm so glad that she felt well enough to come back out, but it must have been hell dealing with a migraine there given that it's such a sensory overload! We've both got different kinds of health anxiety, so were worried- personally I get really upset and anxious when other people are in pain, so I was super worried. I can deal with all of my own pain, I've had it so long now I don't remember differently, and I would much rather take on other people's pain than know they're suffering. 
Despite everything, again she was one of the most lovely people to meet and Lexie and I are truly enchanted/in love 💖 Have so much respect and admiration for her after what she did; literally no one would have blamed her if she stopped signing, but no.. Fucking warrior queen right there 💖 Just hoping that she's feeling better now/isn't in as much pain... Migraines are no joke.

In conclusion... We miss them all so much already my heart hurts 💔 But so so grateful to have gotten to meet them and be around such beautiful and inspiring people 💖

[84reedsy]

Betray/Forgive - Part 2 - A Bam Brown Fan Fiction

Enjoy the finale!

Pairing: Joshua Bam Bam Brown/OC

Rating: R (suggestive content)

She’d doubted that he’d find her out in the cavernous hills of the Rockies. She’d stayed put for 3 weeks. Surviving on only what whe’d brought or what she could forage. It was the reason she’d come to this place. She had another week to go and initially was feeling wonderful. She’d willed herself passed the feeling of being used and discarded. She’d thought a time or two to descend back into the valley, into the town and confront him and tell this woman what exactly her significant other had been up to, but she’d decided against it.

She wondered if she knew. If they had some sort of agreement and she already knew about her. What if he told her what they did and laughed about her technique or…or something. She didn’t want to face further humiliation so she let it go. She let it go. She tried to let him go.

It was difficult to fathom, but the hardest thing was shaking memories of him. She couldn’t figure it, they’d spent less than a full 24 hours in each other’s company yet she still felt as if she missed him.

“How can I miss someone I don’t even know…” She surmised aloud to the crackling fire in front of her. It did not provided an answer other than to slowly turn another log to ash. She threw a stick into the flame, frustrated.

“Lexi….you fool…” she said watching the flames choreograph their own moonlit dance.

Near the ending of the third week, she was wondering if she could even finish the next week she’d had planned; for a few days now she’d been periodically down. She worried she’d contracted some bug, some parasite or had eaten a misidentified leaf. But she would then suddenly feel better. The inconsistency baffled her, however throwing up every morning was beginning to take it’s toll.

As she decided to call the trip early, she had a dreaded thought. She paused in the middle of rolling her sleeping bag. No she thought, No, no, no, no, no!

“I…how could I have been so stupid!” She yelled at herself, her only audience was the cold, stony faces of rock that surrounded her, only echoing her frustrations.

Back in civilization, at her new place that she’d settled only weeks before taking off on her trip, she stared at the pregnancy test and it’s two glaringly blue lines. And there it was, another plus. She flung it into the sink basin, where it clacked against the other dozen or so tests she’d taken throughout the day. All of them. Every.last.one. Was positive.

She slunk to the floor. What was she going to do. Here she was, alone in a new city, a new state. She didn’t have the mentality to be a mother right now. This was not anything like what she was expecting. The move to Denver had been about new beginnings that were her choice, HER decisions. She was for once in life putting herself first. She was in no position to take care of a baby. Tears flowed from her eyes but she knew she was getting rid of it. Termination was her only option right now. The thought tore at her soul; it wasn’t that she didn’t want kids. She did. But she wanted them to be with someone she loved and respected and reciprocated those feelings. Not someone who used her for sexual amusement in the absence of his full time lover.

She had a short window and the cost, thanks to the bureaucracy, was astronomical. She gripped the pamphlet in her hand as the doctor gave her a rundown of options. She could pay for it, but then be strapped for months while she hoped no other emergencies occurred and would have to work overtime just to make ends meet…maybe. The doctor was very kind, and gently suggested that often the cost is supplemented by the other party. The other party. In order to do this she’d have to find him and ask for the money. Ask. The thought was ridiculous. He was just as responsible yet here she’d have to beg him to help her.

It was that or adoption. She made a deal with herself that she’d face him, she’d ask, but if he refused, she’d suffer through the pregnancy alone and give it up for adoption. She hoped it would stop there. She didn’t want him to have it. The thought of him using her as a baby machine turned her stomach even more than the turkey sandwich she’d just regurgitated. She shook the image of Bam and that woman cooing over a baby that she’d made, coveting it.

“Stop it….stop thinking like that. He’ll want this gone. He’ll want to move on from his mistake and make it go away,” She pep talked herself, “Just like I do…”

But there was something inside her, a small voice in her head that didn’t agree. A small voice energized each day as her endless nights of dreams concluded each morning. Dreams of Bam, remorseful and humbled, begging her forgiveness but insistent that his feelings were genuine. Each dream, each night seemed to rub a bigger and bigger ache in her heart. She tried to write it off as hormonal, knowing the dreams felt to real to be entirely fiction.

“Maybe he’s having the dreams too,” her subconscious reasoned, “Maybe he’s trying to reach you the only way he can.”

She shrugged off the thoughts as she finally boarded the train bound for Cortez. He’d said they lived nearby, maybe she’d run into him again as easily as she had the first time. Though she was sure this time he wouldn’t follow at such a distance; he’d either approach her immediately or possibly run for the hills.

She tried to let the visually stunning images she passed distract her mind from the task at hand, enjoying the low cost and better views that train travelling afforded her.

It did little to vacate her thoughts. Every grove of evergreens reminded her of their picnic in the woods. How he’d tenderly catered to her, refusing reciprocation. She scolded herself as she realized she was grinning at the memory.

“Perv…” She mumbled, trying to write him off.

When she arrived in the town, it was quiet. She didn’t expect much in the middle of the week, the busy tourist season already past. The streets had just a handful of people. The wind had just the slightest cool to it, but the overhead sun kept the day from being unpleasant.

She felt a little foolish now. Her plan ended here. She had no idea how to find him, she wasn’t even sure she could find a phone book and if they were even listed at that. She surely doubted it. She wandered the streets for a couple of hours, window shopping at all the places she’d seen this past summer. She felt a sense of guilt and longing as she passed a baby boutique, quickly leaving.

She sighed as she reached the end of the downtown area, the trailhead of the hike they took was dead ahead past the parking lot. She turned the other way, unable to think of the moments again. And there he was.

Walking up the street with a coffee in his hand. He was alone, he looked almost sullen. Her extremities went numb. His hair was down, long and flowing, even with sunglasses on she could see his perma-scowl, the one she’d lightly teased him about.

As she willed herself to move, she was stricken with fight or flight, her toes itching to carry her away from the impending confrontation. But her heels felt like lead weights. Somehow her feet moved, she was almost surprised to realize they were carrying her towards him. After only a few steps, she stopped as he looked up. His scowl disappeared as his face went blank. He turned almost paler than normal.

“You…” He almost mumbled, taking a few more steps towards her, “You…You’re here…” It was then she noticed his face almost looked relieved. Relieved? Surely she was reading him wrong.

“Yes, I am. I have something I need to talk to you about. It’s important.” She tried to make it sound business-like, but he stared at her as if she were heaven-sent. And he kept moving slowly to her.

THe slowness gave way to a sudden movement as she felt his body press to hers. His arms were around her and she felt his rough, bearded cheek against her ear as he embraced her. She was so shocked by this that her arms hung limply at her sides.

“I was hoping you would come back. I was. I needed to tell you so much, I needed to explain.” He murmured into her ear. She tried to maintain her strong front, nudging out of his embrace.

“I need to tell you something, too. I need to say mine first.” She tried to remain as businesslike as possible, “I’m…Bam, I’m pregnant.” The words left her, but she felt like a 3rd person in her own body as they came from her mouth.

His body went slack as the words sunk in. He stuttered out, “P-Pregnant? Wow….really? Pregnant?” She had expected anger, worry, indifference, but awestruck? She wasn’t prepared for his lack of indignance. His hand slid backwards over his hair, repeating the word to himself as if it would make it more real.

“Yes. Pregnant. I came to you….well…because I need $500 to…to get rid of it. For an abortion.” The words were harsh from her own admission. She cringed internally. But she needed to be blunt, as devoid of emotion as possible if she wanted to make it out of this with any scrap of dignity.

“It’s $1000…since it’s half yours, I think it’s only fair you pay half.” She reasoned as if she were asking to split the cost of dinner.

“Get rid of it? You…you’re getting an abortion?” The sadness on his face surprised her as well.

“I don’t want to raise a bastard child of an adulterer.” She wanted him to get upset, she didn’t want it to be amicable. She wanted a reason to hate him. She needed a reason to hate him.

“Hey…don’t.” He sounded as if he warning her, “It’s not what it seems like. And….really, you’re pregnant?”

She was tiring of his surprise and his lack of panic. She’d hoped this would throw him for a loop, rock his world, upend all of his plans like it was about to do for her.  

“Are you going to give me the money or not.” She didn’t need to know about his life, she didn’t want explanations or details. She wanted $500.

“Can we please, go somewhere? Talk about this?” He sounded pleading now, “ I’ve …I’ve been looking for you…for weeks. Please.”

“Is that code? Looking for another easy lay? Gonna cash in your chips and ask me to blow you?” She put up a facade with her crudeness, not wanting him to trigger her bleeding heart.

“Stop.” He said it with a demanding tone, taking a step towards her. He softened slightly as if begging for her to soften for only a moment, “You weren’t that to me. You were more than that. Things are complicated. Please let me explain.”

She huffed in aggravation. She rolled her eyes and looked off to the side, anything to emit a feeling of annoyance. But she couldn’t deny him. As much as she hated herself for it, she just could not bring herself to reject him completely.

“Fine.”

He took her a different way from the trail, walking along a road abandoned years ago that led into the forest. The cracks in the worn pavement housed sprung plants and creeping vines sprawled as nature was taking back the path. The road looked as broken and worn as she felt. She listened quietly as he explained that the girl she’d seen with him, his wife, had cheated on him, continuously.

He’d wanted a family and she’d agreed to try. It never happened and after medical intervention, it was discovered that it wouldn’t happen. She couldn’t bear him children. He’d been broken hearted over that fact, but remained committed to her.

She however felt that with not having to worry herself with pregnancies, she was free to sexually gratify herself with any man she came across it seemed. Each time she’d apologize, and wail her undying love and manipulate him into staying. Each man had a different excuse for why. Each one broke him a little more inside.

He told her he’d stopped caring about being true to her; his love for her was broken and he’d told her so that last day when she’d arrived. When Lexi had fled to the hills. Her name was Amanda and she did not respond well. She spent days refusing to leave, even at his insistence.

“It was very confusing,” he said, “ For her to be so committed to remaining with me, but refusing to hold herself accountable for any of it.

“You helped me make that decision, you know.” He looked at her, a small smile on his lips. She did not smile back, she did not want him to know, to believe that he brought her any joy. Her mind flashed an image of joy he’d brought her as she writhed on the picnic blanket, his words praising her taste.

She shook it from her memory, angry that she’d let that surface.

“I helped you? Apparently I am just all sorts of help.” She tried to be snide, but it came off more sad and dejected.

“You did. Even when things were good. At their best. Even when we met. I never felt…I never felt what I should have. I thought she was love, I thought she was what I wanted. But I was really, really wrong.

“When I saw you…I realized any other woman in my life had been a mistake. I’ve been looking for you to tell you that.” He was shaking a little. He hid his trembling fingers in his pockets.

“You expect me to believe that you realized you loved me that fast.” She scoffed again, immediately regretting it when she saw the pained expression cross his face and the lump in his throat he swallowed.

“I don’t expect you to believe me, or forgive me…but I had to tell you.” He looked defeated, his shoulders slumped, “You mean…you really didn’t feel it too?” He looked a little hopeful but like he was preparing for those hopes to be dashed. “I thought…I thought maybe you’d been having the dreams too…”

She shivered. The dreams. The same dreams?

“Dreams?” She couldn’t help herself, she had to know.

“Yes. Every night, you’re in them. I beg you to forgive me every night. Sometimes you forgive me…sometimes not,” he swallows again, “ But I see you in them so vividly, it’s like you were real. Even though my heart broke half the time, I still got to see you every night.”

She tried to steady her rapid breathing. The same dreams, they’d had the same dreams. She hated the nights she’d dreamt she’d forgiven him, because her heart ache in the morning was that much worse.

“Are you going to give me the money?” She asked again, but her voice wavered as she asked, not nearly as strong and unmoving as she’d wanted it to be.

He took his sunglasses off, replacing them with his wire-rimmed frames. His eyes, he was much more human now that she could see them.

“She’s gone. She’s out of my life. I know…I know I fucked up. But please…give me a chance not to lose you, too.”

“Lose me? Bam we weren’t even together. There wasn’t an us to lose.” She sounded as if she were trying to convince herself just as much as him.

“Maybe,” he continued as if he didn’t believe she was convinced either, “ Maybe that little baby…that life inside of you is the universe’s way of telling us that this is worth trying.”

“That sounds far-fetched.” She hugged her arms around her, as if the motion would protect her from feeling any more emotions. Her eyes looked away, unable to look into his deep blue eyes and not yearn for him.

“Maybe. Maybe it is. But…you consume me, Lexi. I can’t ignore that. I dreamed of us. I dreamed of a baby, a child. We were so happy.” He reached for her, his fingers grazing her skin.

She felt a hot tear escape her eyes as she remembered the same dream. Laid out again on a picnic blanket, but this time with a toddler. He laid on his side, she laid with her head resting on his stomach as the child toddled towards them, wobbly and unsure, but smiling and happy. Bam retold the dream as if he’d been inside her own head.

“You know. You had it too, didn’t you?” He reached for her hand, taking it in his. Her non-response answered his question.

“I was so mad at you, Bam.” She sniffled as she fought back a sob, “I felt so much for you. I knew it was foolish….after one day. But then I saw you and her….you have no idea…how shitty that made me feel.”

He looked pained again, but nodded, letting her finish. His thumb rubbed the top of her hand the entire time.

“And then getting pregnant on top of all of that. My life has been a mess since I met you. And all I want is for that to stop.” a few more tears flowed down her cheeks.

“Let me help. Let me make it right, let me try, please.” He boldly reached up to her cheek with his thumb, wiping a tear track away. When she didn’t reject him, he slowly sank to his knees.

“I will do anything, anything if you’ll just give me a chance. GIves us a chance,” He took a big breath, letting a shaky one back out. He lifted his hand and placed it on her stomach, “Give this baby a chance.”

Suddenly she couldn’t remember her plans. The careful plan she’d figured for herself. It all blurred away. All she could see now was him, in front of her, begging for her love. She felt his hand against her belly, his touch igniting a realization inside her. She realized what she’d been fighting all this time. All the words of hatred she’d spewed was a lie, it was just her trying to convince herself of what she knew was true. She’d fallen in love with a man she’d known for 20 hours. Running was easy when she thought she couldn’t have him. But now here he was offering himself, risking humility and she couldn’t find one single iota of her being that wanted to run.

“You are crazy.” She bit her lip, overwhelmed, “What if…what if it doesn’t work.”

He looked down at the dirt for a moment, collecting himself before returning his gaze to her.

“Then we tried. And as for the baby. No matter what I will always be there for it. I’ll support you any way I can….even if we aren’t together.”

She knew a lot of guys said things like that, but not all of them followed through. But something about the sincerity in his voice, the mistiness in his eyes stifled her worry.

They walked out of the woods, back into the town a few minutes later, this time hand in hand. She felt emotionally raw. He gently spoke when he did speak to her, but mostly was silent, not wanting to push her too much. He watched as she placed her own hand on her stomach as they walked, rubbing it.

She realized she hadn’t done that at all since she’d found out she was pregnant. She never contemplated actually keeping it, having it, raising it. Even though her heart was a jumble, she had a feeling deep inside of her that surmised that indeed, everything would be alright.  Maybe he will care for her like he said. Maybe they will make a beautiful little family. Maybe this is the universe crashing them together for the sake of both of them. Maybe the universe was right after all.

[shotsbyshae]

Can’t Fight the Moonlight

A Lexi Wilson Story. A simple date night for Lexi doesn't go as planned when her boyfriend isn't himself, throw the Winchesters in conveniently at the right place, right time and all hell can break loose. 

OCs: 

Lexi Wilson: Chloe Bennet

Oliver: Christian Kane

Lexi reached across the kitchen counter with one hand and grabbed her phone as soon as the 'ping' sounded, which indicated a new text message. She took a bite from the green apple in her other hand as she pulled up the text message.

Ollie:

Dinner tonight? I might already have reservations for that Italian place you like so much.

A smile crossed her face as she typed in her response.

I'd love to, what time?

She waited patiently for the quick response.

7, I'll pick you up

She slipped the phone into the back pocket of her jeans and tossed the apple in the trash before she made her way to her bedroom. She flipped the light switch to illuminate her small closet, revealing an assortment of various shirts and dresses all hanging neatly. She slid a few hangers as she searched for something nicer than blue jeans to wear to dinner. Her whole body froze when she saw the black dress which clung to a red hanger and she thought back to the day she'd first saw it.

Flashback

Lexi stood in the crowded mall staring at the black dress on the mannequin in the window. It was low cut in the front with long sleeves, the style was tight and it stopped about mid-thigh length. It was solid black with a lace overlay, and she could envision dressing it up or down depending on her shoe choice.

"Please get it," the short haired red head beside her pleaded.

"Why?" she looked quizzically at Charlie, "Where in the world would I ever wear that to?"

"On a date," her friend responded, "You know, with a guy you actually care about."

Lexi laughed a little to herself, "Yea right, I'm happy with the way things are, no strings and such."

Charlie looped her arm around the dark-haired girl's arm, "But one day, one of your little flings may turn into something more and what better way to 'wow' the guy than that."

The red head pointed back toward the mannequin with a sly smile on her face.

"No, if I buy that dress I'm setting expectations for myself," she responded, "I'll pass."

"If you say so," Charlie responded and tugged her friend in the opposite direction, "Let's go get a giant cookie instead."

The dark-haired girl smiled and followed along with her friend. Charlie was the ying to her yang, she couldn't ask for a better friend.

The next day Lexi was sitting on her couch with her computer in her lap, reading local news stories for anything out of the ordinary, when there was a quick knock on her front door, and in burst Charlie.

The red-head had a huge smile on her face and Lexi moved her computer to the coffee table as she moved closer.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned, "I thought you were headed to the bat cave?"

"I am, Sam needs my help with something," Charlie responded, "But first, I had to bring you this."

Lexi looked suspiciously at her friend who sat down on the couch and handed a bright blue bag over to her.

"I know you said you didn't want to set expectations for yourself," Charlie began with a smile, "So, I thought I would set them for you."

Lexi pulled the black dress she'd seen at the mall the day before from the bag and smiled a little, "Charlie, you shouldn't have."

"But the way your eyes lit up when you saw that dress," she began, "I had to. I look forward to the day when you find that right guy and you finally decide to wear it."

Lexi laughed out loud, "You'll be disappointed when that day never comes."

"Bull crap," Charlie began with a smile, "I'll take you out on a date before that happens."

The dark-haired girl smiled warmly, "Sounds like a plan."

The red-head leaned over and hugged her friend tightly, "I've got to go, I'll text you later."

Lexi watched as her friend made it back over to the door, "Charlie."

She turned from the door to look at Lexi.

"I love you," the dark-haired girl said.

Charlie smiled brightly before she opened the door to leave, "I know."

Lexi reached up and wiped the tears from her face and she smiled as she pulled the hanger from the closet and laid the dress gently across her bed before she headed for bathroom.

Oliver and Lexi sat across from each other in a small crowded restaurant, the lighting was low which provided an intimate setting.

"Have I mentioned how beautiful you look?" he questioned as he laid his fork down on his plate. There wasn't much left of his chicken marsala.

The girl smiled sweetly before she took another bite of her chicken linguine, "Once or twice."

"I mean," he began, and Lexi felt like he was acting a little off, "I really lucked up with you."

"Ok," she said warily and she couldn't help but notice the expression on his face. He slightly bit his bottom lip, as if she looked appetizing.

"What do you say we get out of here?" he stated, "There's a bar I know not far from here, we could get a few drinks, maybe play some darts?"

"You hate darts," she responded, she knew pool was more his style, but he hated the bar scene.

"Who cares," he quipped, "I have a smoking hot date, isn't it okay if I want to show you off?"

Lexi wasn't sure about this situation, something was off with him. You're just overanalyzing the situation, she told herself, stop trying to find something wrong with him and just have a good time.

"Just don't get mad when I kick your ass at darts," she said with a smirk as she laid her fork on the table.

"We'll see about that," he remarked as he motioned for the check.

The bar was crowded for a Friday night, various singles and couples scattered about drinking, playing pool and darts. A long blonde haired waitress in a denim skirt with a tight white tee placed two beer bottles on the table in front of them and smiled innocently at the green-eyed man who was giving her his best smile. She turned and walked away, knowing both men at the table were more than likely watching the sway of her hips as she left.

"Yep," Dean looked back to his brother approvingly, "I told you coming out tonight was a good idea."

Sam looked as his brother disapprovingly as usual, "What am I doing here if your plan was a booty call?"

The older man shook his head, "That's not what this was about. We've been cooped up in either the bunker or the car, knocking off one monster after the next for those British dicks, we deserve a night off."

The longer haired man nodded his head in agreement as he took a sip from the bottle in front of him, "So, I've been thinking, at the rate the Brits are trying to eradicate monsters, do you think that's going to slow down work for us within the next couple years?"

Dean shook his head quickly, "I don't think it's possible, why, thinking about going back to law school Sammy?"

The laugh that erupted from the younger brother caused him to choke on his beer, "Yea right."

Dean turned his bottle up as Sam continued, "But seriously, I mean hypothetically speaking, if their plan does work, that would lead to a lot of down time, maybe we could have lives outside of hunting."

It was the first time in a long-time Dean had seen such a hopeful expression on Sam's face, he didn't want to ruin the night by crushing that hope, "I mean, if you think you can and that's what you want, go for it Sammy."

The younger brother smirked, "I was talking about both of us, after all, you're already one step closer than I am."

Dean looked at his brother confused, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean," Sam began hesitantly, "First off, there's Lexi."

It was the green-eyed man's turn to choke on his beer, "Wh..What?"

"You may be fooling yourself, but I'm your brother," Sam stated, "I know you better than anyone else. I've seen the way you look at her when she's not looking. Hell, I can tell when she's the person texting you."

The older brother shook his head slightly, "Lexi's just a friend."

"Keep telling yourself that," Sam took a sip of his beer, then added with a disapproving head shake, "Can't believe you've friend zoned the sister-in-law I never knew I wanted."

Dean ignored the comment as Sam continued with his, now playful, comments, "I mean, if someone had asked me a few years ago, what kind of woman would Dean Winchester marry, I would have laughed and said she'd have to meet one of two qualifying traits, stripper or porn star."

Even his brother had to laugh at the statement, before he took another sip from his beer, "I guess everything changes."

Sam smiled genuinely, "That they do."

The green-eyed man watched as his little brother's eyes widened at something he was seeing behind him, so Dean turned instinctively and watched as Lexi made her way into the bar, she was turning more heads than just his in the dress she was wearing. He quickly noticed the man who was with her, he had one hand protectively at her waist and he was dressed in black slacks with a light blue button up shirt and a black tie he had loosened up some from his neck.

"Should we say hi?" Sam questioned quietly as they watched the two of them move to a table closer to the dart boards.

Dean shook his head, "Probably not."

Lexi took a seat at the table and instead of sitting across from her, Oliver took the chair beside her and scooted it across the floor to be closer to her.

The same blonde haired waitress made her way to the table and the flirty smile she gave the man beside Lexi evoked a smile from him.

"We'll have two beers sweetheart," Oliver said, smile still plastered on his face.

The girl made note and walked away and Lexi looked over at her date in shock, "Since when are you such a flirt?"

"What do you mean?" he responded as he pulled his gaze away from the view of the waitress as she walked away.

"I mean, I'll get her number for you if you want," Lexi popped off the annoyed tone evident in her voice, something was off with Oliver, she wasn't sure what it was, but this wasn't like him.

"Only if it's a little ménage a trois," he replied with a wicked grin.

Lexi rolled her eyes and stood up, "Are we playing darts?"

Oliver could tell he'd pissed her off so he stood up and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her close, "Hey, I'm sorry. I don't know what's got into me, too much wine at the restaurant maybe?"

She smiled a little, as much as she hated to, when she looked into his eyes and he continued, "I promise to be on my best behavior starting now. You know you're the most important person in the world to me."

He kissed her lips gently before he pulled her closer to the dart board to start their game.

Meanwhile, across the bar…

"We can go if you want," Sam offered, he knew this was making his brother uncomfortable.

Dean just shook his head as he subtly looked back across his shoulder at the couple.

The two brothers watched as Lexi appeared to get more and more irritated with her date. He had flirted with at least two other waitresses as the night progressed.

"What's his problem?" the older brother questioned Sam, who shrugged his shoulders.

They watched as Lexi made her way across the bar, headed for the bathrooms no doubt, and the man she was with took a seat back at their table.

"I'll be back," Dean whispered to his brother as he slid out of his chair.

"Dean," the younger man hissed, but his brother slipped away toward the bathrooms.

Lexi had turned down the hallway that lead to the bathrooms, she was pissed and if it were anyone else, she'd already left, but this wasn't like Oliver. Something was up and she wasn't sure what it was yet. There were a couple people who passed her, making their way back to the bar room. She felt someone gently touch her lower back and she turned quickly.

"Dean!" her voice was quiet, but startled, "What are you doing here?"

Dean held up one finger then indicated her dress with it, "First, wow, just wow."

Lexi could feel the blush in her cheeks and she couldn't help but look at her feet to hide the smile on her face.

"Second," he continued, "Why didn't you tell me your boyfriend's a douche? Come on Lex, you…you don't deserve that crap."

She looked back up at him earnestly, "You think I don't know that? That's not Oliver, I don't know what's going on with him, but I know him well enough to know, that's not him."

Confusion washed over Dean's face and hunter instincts kicked in, "You think he's possessed?"

"No," she replied, then shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. I don't exactly have a flask of holy water on me right now."

She saw his eyes travel her body again, "Nope, nothing else is fitting in that dress."

"Dean," her tone was stern.

"Sorry, just an observation," he replied innocently, "Okay, you distract lover boy in there and I'll slip some into his beer."

Lexi nodded her head and moved past Dean back toward the bar room, leaving the hunter to watch her walk out, but instead of the usual smirk he would have, a tinge of sadness graced his features.

The dark-haired girl kept her date occupied at the dart board while her friend slipped the clear liquid from the flask in his jacket into the beer on the table and waited till he was on his way back to his table before she moved to get the beer.

"What was that about?" Sam questioned as his brother took his seat back at the table.

"Turns out," Dean began quietly watching as Lexi handed the man his beer, "He's not a douche, he might be possessed."

"What?" the younger brother asked in shock.

They watched as the man across the bar turned up his beer bottle and chugged the rest of the liquid down with no reaction.

"Not a demon," Dean stated, "So, that still leaves douche as a possibility."

Lexi was frustrated when Oliver drank the beer without any problems, she was so lost in thought she hadn't noticed the waitress had brought him another beer. The 'smack' sound that his hand made against the blonde woman's ass wasn't extremely loud, but it was loud enough to get her attention.

"Seriously?" Lexi was pissed and the waitress walked away, this might not be Oliver, but she was done for the night. She threw her hands up in exasperation, "I'm out."

She turned to leave and the hand that grabbed her arm was stronger than any normal person should be, he jerked her back to look at him.

"You're not going anywhere babe," he said simply, "We haven't finished our game yet."

"Take your hand off me," she seethed through gritted teeth.

"Dude, not cool," a twenty-something dark-haired man who had been playing pool had walked over to the altercation.

"None of your business bro," Oliver retorted, tightening his grip on her arm.

Fight mode set in for Lexi and she swung with her free arm and landed a perfect right hook, unfortunately it didn't seem to bother him much and he flung Lexi back toward the table they had been seated at. She fell before she reached the table and caught the corner with her forehead above her right eye causing a gash.

The brothers were across the bar before Lexi could sit back up. Oliver had just punched the guy who was trying to intervene in the face when Dean landed a fist into this abdomen.

"You son of…" Dean hissed into his ear before he pushed the man backwards to get another shot in on his face.

Oliver moved back out of the hunter's grip and held his hands up in surrender as one of the bar's bouncers made his way over to escort Lexi's date out of the building.

Sam had gathered Lexi up from the floor and was examining her forehead, "You okay?"

"I'm great," she said sarcastically as she gingerly touched the gash with her hand.

The front door to Lexi's little home flew open and it was obvious from her demeanor, the dark-haired girl was angry. She walked over and leaned against her kitchen counter for balance as she pulled the black heels from her feet.

"We should have gone straight to Oliver's," she stated angrily to the two men who had followed her into the house.

"We at least need to get a bandage on that," Sam indicated the gash on her forehead, "and a change of clothes maybe."

Lexi nodded her head, thoughts running through her mind, "Right, I'll be back."

She took off down her hallway to her room, she'd been racking her brain on the car ride home as to what could possibly be going on with Oliver. That wasn't the man she'd come to know over the past six months, or maybe she didn't know him at all. What if it had all been just a façade? Stop it! She scolded herself as she tossed the dress she'd slipped off onto her bed, and pulled a pair of jeans from her dresser. There's a logical explanation to this, she tried to remind herself as she pulled the black t-shirt over her head. The pain from the fabric rubbing across the wound reminded her to grab the bandages and antiseptic from the bathroom medicine cabinet. She watched herself in the mirror as she dressed the gash, then slipped socks on before pulling on her tennis shoes.

"Let's go," she announced as she made her way back into the kitchen and Sam tossed her a bottle of water he'd gotten out of her fridge, "His place is about fifteen minutes from here.

The three hunters climbed from inside the car and Sam took note that Oliver's home was located in a very populated neighborhood and quickly noticed the CCTV cameras located high upon the power poles, so he grabbed the satchel he kept his laptop in. They approached the house and Dean saw the door was already open before he reached for the knob, he quickly pulled his gun from the back of his jeans and held it ready in front of him as he pushed the door all the way open.

The house was a disaster, there was a broken mirror on the living room wall with a fresh blood smear, broken furniture was slung about and it was obvious there was a massive fight in this house.

Dean walked about processing the scene before him when he noticed a picture frame lying in the floor, he reached down and picked it up. The glass was shattered, but the smiling faces of Oliver and Lexi could still be seen. He laid the frame over on the kitchen counter, before he turned back to look at his brother.

Sam had already pulled out his laptop and quickly typed away, he noticed Dean was looking at him, "There's some CCTV cameras outside, I'm trying to pull them up, surely we'll have a shot of someone leaving the house."

Lexi had moved across the room to the large bay window located across from the kitchen. The curtains were pulled back and the light from the full moon outside lit up area. She noticed the pistol lying on the floor, half of it lit up from the moonlight and she bent down to pick it up. It was Oliver's and he never went anywhere without the thing.

She turned and saw Dean had made his way over to stand beside her and she said softly, "What the hell did he get himself into?"

"Can you think of anyone who has a grudge against him?" Dean hated the way the sentence sounded, like he was interrogating a stranger.

"He's a hunter," Lexi stated with a shake of her head, "Who doesn't have a grudge against us?"

This news surprised Dean, he'd never really thought about what the guy did for a living, but it made perfect sense, he knew that deep down she wouldn't be happy with someone she couldn't be herself around.

Lexi could see the surprised expression on his face as she tucked the pistol into the waist of her jeans at her back.

"Don't look at me like that," she said quietly, "Things change."

"Yep," was the only response he offered.

Sam's voice broke the silence, "I've got something."

The two hunters approached him at the kitchen bar and saw the footage on the screen as what looked like Oliver on the street in front of his house, dragging someone across the sidewalk to the truck which sat at the curb. Lexi noticed the time on the screen ready 05:20, nearly an hour before he picked her up for dinner.

"Zoom in," Lexi said as she leaned closer to the screen.

Sam clicked a few keys on the keyboard and once zoomed in she could see the body was also Oliver, and the person dragging him turned to face the camera and the retinal flare gave away what they were dealing with.

"Shifter," Dean stated out loud.

They watched as he tossed Oliver's body into the bed of the truck and climbed in the driver's seat.

"I'll see if I can't track the truck using the camera footage, give me a few minutes," the younger brother stated reassuringly to Lexi, "There's a good chance he's still alive."

She nodded her head in understanding and took a seat at the bar beside him.

It took the computer whiz about twenty minutes to get a final location on the truck and the three hunters piled into the Impala to head to a small abandoned barn at the edge of town. Sam noticed how quiet the girl in the backseat was and he turned to look at her.

"We're going to get him back Lex," he said gently.

"I know," she replied quietly, then stared out the window at the passing trees illuminated from the brightness of the full moon.

The girl leaned her head against the back of the seat, alone with her thoughts. She cared about Oliver, a lot, that's why this was so hard, not knowing if he was okay, not knowing what was happening to him. Unfortunately, that's the risk you take with a hunter, never knowing when the past will come back to haunt you. The pain she felt in her heart, it was something she wasn't accustomed too, she didn't get close to people, especially other hunters, with the exceptions in front of her, but that was her cross to bear for Charlie. Everyone dies eventually, the only question she found herself asking, Is it worth it? Would feeling nothing at all, be better than feeling all the pain that came with knowing someone who could be taken away from you suddenly. She wasn't prepared to let Oliver go, she felt like they had barely started their story. But is it worth it? The question burned in her mind. When she lost Charlie, she lost a huge piece of her heart. She couldn't remember a day she hadn't shed a tear over the thought of her friend, but knowing Charlie, having her in her life, it was worth the pain. She would rather live everyday feeling the heartache of missing her best friend, than to have never known her at all. Is he worth that? Is anyone else worth that? The questions kept running through her mind.

When Sam pulled open her door, it startled her, she hadn't even realized they had stopped. He passed her a small hand gun and stated, "Silver bullets."

She nodded her head and climbed from the car. As they moved closer to the barn door, Dean indicated for Sam to head to the back of the building and he followed the order, leaving his brother and friend to enter the barn.

Once through the door, Lexi spotted Oliver on the ground, chained to an old tractor. She ran quickly over to him and knelt on the floor in front of him.

"Ollie," she whispered, grabbing his face with both hands. There was dried blood along his dark brown hairline, "Ollie, look at me."

The man slowly peeled his eyes open and smiled happily at the woman in front of him, "Lexi."

The girl looked around her and saw hammer on the table closest to her, she moved to grab it, leaving her pistol on the ground beside Oliver. She returned with the hammer and took a few swings to break the old rusted chain.

Dean had moved past the two toward the back of the barn to check the stalls in the back. Lexi pulled the pistol from the back of her jeans and handed it to Oliver with a smile, "Look what I found."

The man took the weapon with an appreciative smile as Lexi picked her gun up from the ground, then helped Oliver get up on his feet.

"You okay?" she questioned as she watched Oliver steady himself.

"Yea," he responded, "I am, just a little light headed is all."

Suddenly Dean's body was thrown from behind the tractor against the barn door. They watched as he struggled to get back to his feet as shifter Oliver made his way out of the shadows. Lexi and Oliver both aimed their pistols at the him, but the shifter was quick and the next moment happened so fast, but it was like slow motion in her mind.

The shifter raised his right arm up, Dean's gun in his hand and aimed it at the green-eyed hunter who was against the barn door. He fired the shot before Lexi could pull her trigger and she watched in horror as the force of the shot knocked Dean's body through the already broken door.

"DEAN!" the scream that erupted from her throat didn't even feel like it came from her, she felt like she was on the outside looking in on the situation.

She unloaded the clip into the shifter, as did Oliver, and both watched it crumple to the floor. Lexi didn't take a second look back as she ran to her friend, unconsciously dropping the gun. She barely saw Sam out of the corner of her eye come from the back of the barn to make sure the shifter was dead. He wasn't aware the shifter had got a shot on Dean.

Lexi slid onto her knees in the dirt next to the man on the ground, he wasn't moving and she shook him a couple times, "Dean, Dean."

The full moon was casting enough light for Lexi to check the front his jacket for blood, she wasn't finding any but he wasn't responsive and she pleaded, gently cupping his face in her hands, "I need you to wake up Dean. I need you to look at me."

She started to pat down his jacket, searching for the bullet hole. There was something hard in one of his front chest pockets and she pull the metal flask from inside and saw where the bullet had almost pierced clean through it.

"Lexi," Sam sounded like he was a thousand miles away, "What happened?"

Dean had finally opened his eyes, he wasn't sure what had just happened, he remembered the gun shot, but all he could see right now was dark eyes brimming with tears.

Oliver had moved closer to the scene unfolding and watched as the man on the ground moved to a sitting position while the taller man picked up a flask from the ground and shook his head in disbelief and he looked relieved. He was aware of the relationship she had with the Winchesters, they had talked about it several times. He wasn't a jealous man and he knew how important friendships were in their line of work, but he couldn't help but notice that he'd never seen that look on her face before.

Lexi hugged Dean harder than she'd ever hugged him before.

"I'm okay Lex," he tried to comfort her as she pulled back to look him in the face.

"You better friggin' be," she mouthed off and hugged him again, causing a smirk to cross his face.

Sam helped him to his feet once Lexi had let him go, it was then she glanced over and saw Oliver standing there. She quickly moved back over to him, concern in her voice, "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," he said softly as he put an arm around her shoulder, "How about your friend?"

"Good, the bullet hit his flask," she stated looking back over to the brothers who were inspecting the flask carefully, "That's…"

"Dean," Oliver finished her sentence and she looked up at him quizzically, and he continued, "I could tell."

He pulled her tight against his chest and kissed the top of her head.

The car ride back to Oliver's house was quiet, Sam had tried to break up the silence by asking why the shifter had been after him. Oliver had explained that he had been hunting that shifter for over a week now and it had gotten the drop on him while he was getting ready for dinner.

"It was nice meeting you," Oliver stated offering a handshake to Sam and his brother, "Thanks for everything. Maybe we can all get together sometime for drinks."

Sam nodded his head in agreement and Dean shoved his hands back into his jacket pockets. Oliver smiled reassuringly to Lexi before he moved toward his front door to let her have a minute.

"I'm going to stay here tonight," she said more to Sam, "I'll call you tomorrow sometime."

The youngest brother gave her a quick hug, "Sounds good."

The older brother moved over and wrapped her up in a tight squeeze, before he headed back to the Impala. Lexi waved as they pulled away from the curb and she crossed her arms and walked back toward the house.

Lexi rolled over in the bed and reached for Oliver, but she felt nothing. She rubbed her eyes and sat up in the bed and immediately recognized the hotel room. The dark-haired girl glanced over to the table by the window and there sat her red-headed friend with a grin on her face.

"Charlie," Lexi squealed as she crawled across the bed to tackle the girl with a hug.

"Hey Lex," she replied, "Missed you too."

She pulled back from the hug to look at Charlie's expression and immediately her face dropped, "What's wrong? What's going on?"

The red-head moved to sit on the hotel room bed and pulled Lexi down beside her.

"I only have a few minutes, so I'm going to throw it all on the table. I'm just getting bits and pieces of chatter, but it's not good Lex," Charlie began solemnly, "Something to do with Lucifer's baby, and Castiel is back in Heaven and something about him killing a reaper to break a blood pact. I don't know what's coming, I don't know how bad it's going to be, but I wanted to give you a heads up."

Lexi was still trying to process all the information when Charlie continued, "Don't say anything to Sam and Dean right now though, I want to try and have more information to give, just keep an eye on them please."

The dark-haired girl nodded her head, "I always do."

"Good," Charlie hugged her again and squeezed her tightly, "Be safe Lex, I love you."

"Love you too Charlie," she squeezed her back.

Lexi jolted up in the bed awake, causing the man next to her to wake up and reach for her arm, "You okay babe?"

The dark-haired girl swallowed the lump in her throat and just nodded her head, "Yea, just a dream."

She slid back under the covers and laid her head on Oliver's chest for a moment, but she knew sleep wouldn't come quickly, her mind was too busy processing all the information Charlie had just given her.

"You know I love you right?" his voice was low and Lexi barely heard him.

She couldn't bring herself to look at him, this wasn't exactly the best timing for this conversation, so she ran her hand up his chest and rested it on his collarbone, "I know you do."

Lexi felt him kiss the top of her head and his arm pulled her closer into his chest.

[aiienzo]

Kadara Suits You

Title: Kadara Suits You

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Scott Ryder / Reyes Vidal

Summary:  Tactfully avoiding Reyes Vidal has become something of a past time.

Notes:  Ryder is suave and cocky and arrogant when it appeals to him, but I want to see more of the Scott that's cracked around the edges. The Scott that can't sleep without waking up in a cold sweat. The Scott that loses his footing on stability and purpose when control is taken from him. I want damaged Scott, fight-mongering Scott, and a Scott that needs a place to fall apart.

AO3 link: Kadara Suits You

Kadara suits him.

The reasonings for this revelation were stacked high against one another, each more dubious and arguable than the last. Maybe because he was young, full of a reckless, hellfire energy that had him quivering with morbid fascination during each tumultuous encounter with an outlaw. Maybe because he felt useful here in a visceral way he ached for, something that left Lexi frowning during his psych evaluation and the Initiative questioning his tactics. Sure, he was experienced in combat and incredibly well-rounded, but youth still sung through his veins, amplifying his daring nature and fight mongering.

He was the Pathfinder, but he was also woefully unprepared for the job, and expectations were forming an insurmountable barricade as quickly as he tried to take his first tentative steps forward.  

But Kadara, he fit in here. In the badlands, his rash behavior was encouraged, and it allowed him an out he desperately needed. He had been able to find a particular kind of peace within the chaos of uncertainty that granted him comfort in his own skin, uniform notwithstanding.

Andromeda, despite its novelty and unknowns, hadn’t phased his resolve for adventure, and he knew he wasn’t looking to belong anywhere. He didn’t need it. But a spark of familiarity in the otherworldly badlands kept drawing him back, coercing him into finding excuses to dock for supplies or information they only just barely needed. Vetra always accompanied him off the docking bay during these detours, a knowing glint in her eyes and a tease barely hidden under the clamor of the port.

This time is no different.

“Here to enjoy the sights again, Ryder?”

He snarls a half-assed warning at her, far too tense from weeks in space and underhanded questions to deal with the omniscient mirth in her expression.

Because fucking Vetra, with her eyes and ears all over Kadara, had figured out Scott’s rather obvious pattern months ago. Off the docks and straight to Kralla’s Song, where he’d bullshit with Umi for half an hour, coupling her snide remarks about the other patrons with his own lighthearted banter. Two shots down, and he’d wander over to the vendors, bartering for useless scrap he didn’t really intend to buy. He’d eventually settle on some trinket or another for Suvi or whatever illegal part Gil asked him to acquire, just to feel accomplished. And finally, as if by clockwork, Cora would radio him that they’re all secure at the docks, and Scott would relay what supplies they actually needed.

He’d take a lift to the slums, casually, as though it might be an afterthought. Whatever calm he’d be able to fortify himself with would be fractured by the way he’d keep his eyes trained on movement and his inability to quell the static from his muscles. He’d climb the dirty, stained stairway to take note of the decreasing amount of bodies lying in the accumulated waste that's sprawled across the bedrock, tapping his gloved fingers on the railing. Charlatans. The outpost had just been settled, and while The Collective confirmed their best intentions, it would still be a long time before the term “free port” would be believed. His grip would tighten.

After pacing the slums for twenty minutes, his blood boiling as he snapped at any passerby who dared side-eye his rifle, he’d finally radio Kosta, who never needed any other invitation for violence than the order of “let’s go.”

Three hours of carnage would soothe his pulsing nerves, and Liam’s shouts, hisses of pain, and forcibly subdued laughter always made him feel less crazed than he actually was. They’re both a traumatic mess, nerves fried and shredded across the graphite rocks like Karada strove to paint itself in their accumulated breakdowns. Liam has his own reasons. Scott has his. And after the violence is over, with the danger to the port being bitten back just enough, they’d return to the Tempest, grazed with blood, while Scott avoids shooting a single glance towards Tartarus. He won’t.

Tactfully avoiding Reyes Vidal has become something of a past time.

So he’s fully aware that Vetra sees far more than she says, far more than Scott would give her intuition credit for, but he’s still irritated when she keeps talking, despite his stiff silence. He knows exactly what she’s about to say, and it’s entirely his own fault so being so fucking obvious .

“Why don’t you just go see him?” she asks, her voice lowered and unknowingly maternal. “Pretty soon there won’t be any outlaws left for you to take out your frustration on.”

His muscles uncoil just slightly at her blatant concern. Underneath all those teasing remarks and backhand comments, she’s worried about him, and wants the situation resolved. However much she was able to assume, she’s somehow pinpointed exactly what he needs to hear, and Scott pushes his aggravation aside just long enough to appreciate what she gives him. No involvement, no interference. Just acceptance and a firm nudge in the right direction.

“Fine,” he grounds out, because there’s no other words to be said, and he’s apparently given her enough clues to unravel him down to core qualities. “Can’t get anything past you, can I?”

She doesn’t answer, only smiles, and for a moment he feels pained by the lack of verbal reassurance. He’s sat on this for weeks. Months. And nowhere in that long stretch of time during which he imagined confronting Reyes, did he even consider what he wants to say.

He’s really not cut out for this. For any of it.

They part ways as they always do, with Vetra sneaking off to whatever underground mercenary club she’s been itching to delve into, while Scott heads straight towards Kralla’s Song. A few of the locals stop their business to pointedly stare at him as he passes, clandestine whispers behind calloused fingers they think he doesn’t notice. Some of them look pleased to see him. Angaran, mainly. Others looked frightened. Some though, are still pissed, nothing but sneering expressions and trigger fingers, Sloane’s name plastered on their lips like she'd branded it there, to maintain her following ever after her murder.

His fists clench. He remembers his anger, right alongside the glint of the sniper that did her in.

He’d parted quickly that day, before Sloane’s blood had even gone cold, letting Vidal’s words to his associates of “Karada Port is ours tonight,” trail faintly behind him as his pulse pounded in his head. He doesn’t regret not intervening in her death, but Reyes’ mockery of a pistol shot and that look he’d stared Scott down with afterwards haunted his dreams, hungry and lucid. The email he’d received shortly afterwards cemented his concerns, and he’d archived the words I’ll make sure Kadara stays ours both on his terminal and in his waking thoughts. Thinking of you always, Vidal had boldly written. Scott wishes he could say differently.

Umi doesn’t look particularly happy to see him. She remains emotionally closed off, as always, which Scott has learned is a trained habit to avoid unwarranted attention from drunken outcasts. There’s not a lot of places to drink on Kadara, and she doesn’t have to flirt to get her money.

“Hey champ,” she greets, and Scott is instantly reminded that she’s well over 400 years old, and for all his universal experience in the world, he’s still a child in her eyes. He has very little to back up his defense for this, especially when he tells her to leave the bottle, childishly planning on drinking until his words will unfurl and write themselves across his face rather than wait for Scott to try and dig them out of his throat himself.

She watches as he throws back the bottle, tears stinging in his eyes because he’s still a bit of a bitch for this stronger stuff. It hits harder than the human liquor that he’s used to, and the taste lingers in his mouth, a sharp bite that sucker punches his gut into reminding him just how easily he can come undone.

(Bang, echoes in his head, and the appropriately timed parallels have him swigging his next drink before the first is even tolerated).

Umi smiles at him, something rare and treasured. “Well, with that kind of enthusiasm I hope you’re here to pay off his tab as well.”

Scott lowers his bottle and cocks an eyebrow at her. “Don’t you two have some kind of a deal worked out? You booze him up, and he keeps you in the loop?”

Umi scoffs, the shit yellow lighting in the club reflecting the blue of her skin to make a pattern of remarkable hues. “Yeah right. I give him booze in the hopes that he keeps me out of the loop.”

“Come on now, what good is a bartender that isn’t willing to lend an ear?”

She glowers at him, keeping her amusement hidden, and he smiles at the familiarity. His fingertips feel lighter as he brings the bottle to his lips again, social standing forgotten.

“Slow down kid,” she chastises lightly. “If you’re going to pay for it, you could at least try to enjoy it.”

He doesn’t comment, but takes her advice anyway, tapping his fingers on the slightly dusty bottle before looking up at her, aware that his eyesight tracking is starting to lose its competitive edge. Strong shit. She remains quiet, which lets him think. Lets him think about why he’s even here. It’s something he’s been actively avoiding doing, because apparently, he can work through the goddamn exaltation of an entire species with enough reasoning and consideration, but a single fucking human being in the throes of a large population of vigilante shitheads who are insignificant in the face of a galaxy... that has him tripping in his own thoughts.

It’s fucking unfair. He signed up for exploration. For adventure and discovery. Not for the disunion of feelings and purpose.

He narrows his eyes at the corner of the bar, where Reyes hand had brushed up against his in their haste to get information about Zia. If he stares hard enough, he can almost picture the Carnifex that Reyes keeps strapped against his side, modded and customized and nearly unrecognizable. Butcher and executioner, the smuggler had muttered fondly.  

When Scott had first seen it, attached via a leather holster with Reyes’ tan, dexterous fingers dangling gently beside it, he had stared for so long, caught up in something he couldn’t put a name too. He’s heard the term “whirlwind” of emotions, but felt as though“brick wall” would be more apt in this instance. Reyes had clicked his tongue at him, trigger finger moving to point upwards, urging Scott to snap back to reality and meet Reyes’ eyes, a cocky grin bracketing the edges of his expression. The motherfucker muttered something about “bigger than most,” which Scott bracingly ignored.

After they had taken care of Zia and Scott’s share had been transferred, he promptly turned off Reyes channel frequency for three days. Consequences be damned. There were too many already.

“I think I’m gonna kill him,” he blurts out to the scratched surface of the bar, and then smiles, because it’s probably not the first time Umi has heard that here. Probably not even the first time today .

“Okay, sure,” she snorts in disbelief. When she sees his surprise at her unfazed nature, she sighs, leaning forward to support herself with her elbows on the table, forcing Scott to meet her gaze. “Hun, look. Every time you two are in here, I can see the fifteen different things you want to do to him dance across your face. Killing him is definitely one of them.”

She pushes the bottle back towards him, altering her advice now that he’s blown his cover -- and emotions -- wide open. He takes another drink, more bitter than before, but it goes down easier, and he can feel the diluted gold of high quality alcohol sticking itself to the inside of each of his veins. He’s well on his way to tipsy, and it’ll be a quick fall after that. He takes the swig carefully, giving her ample time to finish her thought, but she refuses to say another word until he prompts her with a sigh.

“...But?”

She studies him carefully for a moment, before grabbing his left arm gingerly and tapping his omnitool to life. He watches as she transfers a fair amount of Scott’s credits to herself, both for his bottle and for Reyes outstanding bar tab, before pulling away.

“But, if you kill him, you won’t get to enjoy those fourteen other things. Take the bottle to him. He owes you, so I suggest you make him pay.”

                                                                                                                ///

His comm remains quiet on his slightly inebriated walk to the slums. Normally, he’d be grateful, but it’s too unlikely to be coincidence, and it only serves to fuel his fire that everyone in his crew seems to know he needs to work through something, and that Kadara royalty is draped all over it. He’s half tempted to ask them what they think he’s doing there, with the slim hope that it would relate to violence. Vetra’s comments and Liam’s silence convince him otherwise.

Normally, it wouldn’t bother him. His relations had never been something he kept from public eye. But Reyes stands for everything he’s currently supposed to be dismantling, and it’s the dichotomy of wanting something so substantially antithetical for a Pathfinder to have that’s tearing him apart.

It’s early. Too early for people to be crawling towards alcohol-induced comfort yet, so his walk is quiet. He hates it. He needs the confrontation, and he’s begging for it to be anything other than Reyes himself. But the few people lingering against the railings give him no heed, keeping their heads bowed to their own problems. It’s so unusual. Maybe they see the challenge in his expression, fueled by the bottle that’s held loosely in his grasp, important only for what it’s worth. Maybe the King of Kadara has put a protective order on him, with the threat of torture the Initiative would never condone hanging over Scott’s head like a caution tape mockery of a crown.

Whatever they see, they leave him the fuck alone, abandoning him to walk the trek to Reyes private room in the Tartarus alone, bleakly hoping that the Charlatan would be out, too far away for Scott to have to endure this encounter.

The doorway looks the same as it always has; no addition of armed guards, no tighter security, no change whatsoever to make the “third-rate smuggler” look any more important than he ever had been. A turian slumped against the booth by the door mean-mugs him from afar, shadows cast over his eyes as the music thrums a new pulse through Scott’s system, but it doesn’t feel threatening. He ignores the stranger and mumbles to SAM to bypass Reyes’ door security.

“I’m detecting a moderately high alcohol content in your blood, Pathfinder,” SAM chirps dutifully in the back of his head. “Perhaps this is an encounter you’d prefer to have with a sober mind?”

“If I’d have preferred that, I wouldn’t started drinking in the first place, SAM,” he counters, fully aware of the turian’s eyes on him as he seemingly argues with himself. “You wouldn’t be trying to shoo me away unless you knew he was in there, so open the door.”

“Of course, Scott,” SAM relents, using the informal vernacular he saves for private conversations. “I will be here if you need assistance.”

With that final acquiescence, the glowing red display on the door briefly turns blue, and Scott jerks it open, stumbling slightly in his haste to get into the room and shut the door behind him, landing with his upper body pressed against the cool metallic relief of privacy.

He can hear the telltale rustle of a gun being pulled before he can even turn around, and he smiles into the doorway as it locks itself tightly underneath his cheek. God, the chill feels good. He’s way drunker than he thought he was.

He regains his composure and turns to face Reyes, holding his hands up by his head in an entirely unconvincing surrender, but Reyes is already flicking the safety back on that god-forsaken Carnifex, his eyes rolling heavenward.

“Pathfinder… that’s a good way to get shot.”

“Lots of good ways to get shot here,” Scott reasons, bringing the whiskey back up to his lips for a drink that he hopes looks way more nonchalant than he feels. “Gotta watch out for those snipers, especially.”

Reyes, of course, doesn’t take the bait, and remains sitting, pistol resting comfortably in his lap as he watches Scott meander slowly into the room. His eyes are weary, but sharp, full of a half-tamed desperation that Scott can’t quite pinpoint, and he resists doing a quick once-over to take in the minimal armor and rust-stained pops of color that Reyes seems to favor. They stay silent for a moment, comfortable in their friendly, if not strained, affinity, with Scott clearly working something over in his head while Reyes allows him the small freedom to just focus before jostling him from his thoughts.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Ryder?”

Scott stops in front of him, annoyed at Reyes casual demeanor, and yet somehow, more annoyed at himself for expecting anything else. He holds out the whiskey, giving the bottle a little enticing shake.

“Thought I’d share. Certainly a king is allowed a moment to unwind?”

Reyes smirks at him, standing up to take the proffered bottle with the beginnings of a small fire burning behind his pupils. “Ryder, we have done many things together, but I can’t confidently say any of them involve...unwinding.”

“Ah, well. Times change, don’t they?”

He’s meeting Reyes’ challenge head on, refusing to back down from the prolonged eye contact and allowing Reyes to push into his personal space with no resistance, rising to the encounter he’s realizing they’ve both been waiting to have. He knows the brazen confidence he feels is fueled entirely by alcohol and misplaced fury, but he’ll take the crutch.

Reyes hums in agreement, finally sliding the bottle from Scott’s fingers. “They certainly do.” He takes a long drink, far more accustomed to the swill than Scott’s virgin liver could ever hope to be, before nodding his head towards the datapad on the couch. “Interesting message I just got from Umi. Some kind samaritan just paid my bar tab in full.”

“Better a samaritan than a charlatan, right?”

Reyes grins at him, and where Scott’s pent up frustration and nerves are misplaced in his anger at Reyes, the man in front of him is level, the weariness he displayed before all but sapped from his expression as he roves over Ryder with hunger in his eyes.

“Why don’t you cut the shit, and tell me what you’re really here for.”

Scott’s stomach bottoms out as a tiny bit of sobriety worms its way through his consciousness just enough to make sense of the situation. He could have Reyes, here and now. He knows lust and need and aching when he sees it, and the liquor that swims through his veins wills him to shut his eyes and fucking give in to it for once.

But unfortunately, he came here to pick a fight.

“I came to tell you that you’re a coward.”

Disappointment flashes across Reyes’ face, but he plays it off well. He steps away with a sigh, allowing himself another swig of whiskey that looks more like a preparation of things to come rather than the enticement it was before. “Not the first time I’ve heard that. Alright then, Pathfinder, dissect me.”

Scott feels that familiar discontent rise up in him again, because he hates smooth talkers. Those keen to the charismatic. He knows how easy it is to manipulate people if you’ve got the ability to put a few key words together with just the right spark of inflection and the twist of a coy, playful smile. It’s a tactic he’s embraced fully, entwining itself with a touch of sarcasm, and to see it thrown back at him is daunting. Alarming. And frankly, insulting.

“Fuck that. You know what this is about.”

Reyes looks away from him, and Scott can’t be bothered to give a damn about the flash of hurt that crosses his face. “Let me guess. Sloane?”

He doesn’t answer, but Reyes doesn’t need the validation, quickly firing off his questions, the dull cut of incredibility and disjointed frustration seeping in through words he tries to portray as sarcasm.

“The more you think about it," he explains, "the more bothered you are, right? Maybe you think, why didn’t I just have her assassinated?” He turns back to look at Scott, a shrug on his shoulders. “Or -- what, better yet -- legitimately dueled her? Like in some terrible vid back on the Milky Way? Pistols at high noon, or whatever trash that was…”

“I could have handled her,” Scott grounds out, annoyed at Reyes' dismissal of his arguments before he was even able to voice him. The smuggler was good at reading people, and Scott is always slightly hurt when he’s no exception. “She could rot in jail on the Nexus.”

Reyes snorts in disbelief before swallowing another shot. “Oh yeah, so her followers could take her place? Rise up in a revolt and try to rescue her, or worse, carry on her legacy? You’re not that foolish, Ryder.”

“I would have taken care of any fallout--”

Reyes puts the bottle down on the table a bit harder than necessary, narrowing his eyes in on Scott’s deliberate wordplay. “What, in the few hours you manage to stop by during your week long expeditions? You’re going to be detailed on the ins and outs of Kadara, the underground mercs, the whispers in the streets? Give me a fucking break, Pathfinder. You’re bigger than this.”

“This is my job,” Scott argues, but he can feel his will to stake up offense falling, deflating, like the balloon of his intentions was leaking with each tiny stab of common sense Reyes was raining down on him. His argument is pathetic, his cover story is pathetic, and the only thing he has left is to faintly wish Reyes’ hadn’t seen through him faster than his own crew. “I make worlds hospitable, Reyes. I should’ve been the one to take her out, properly. It was on me.”

The atmosphere alters, with Reyes picking up on Scott’s failsafe, and there’s a moment of indecision that hovers between them. Scott waits to see the battle in Reyes eyes of whether to take him down one last peg, or to let Scott off easy, but it never happens. Instead, Reyes softens immediately, coy demeanor still intact, but his voice is littered in desperation now, in urgency.

“This needed to be settled internally, Ryder. Now, Sloane’s followers think her weak, and they’re more willing to embrace change. There could be no fallacies. I’m sorry that you think me a coward, I truly am, but I’d rather be a coward and a murderer than a bystander while people are beaten in the streets and a civil war is raged. Surely you can understand that.”

Scott nods, absently. His body feels light, his mind overwhelmed. The alcohol is working beautifully to remind him of the logic in the situation, but he still feels a pang of discontent within him. Of failure. Reyes reaches out and places his hands on Scott’s shoulders, silently beseeching him to focus on the now, to ease into the comfort of words.

“Karada is ours now, Ryder. I can guarantee it.”

“Kadara is yours, your majesty,” Scott quips back, almost forlornly. “Don’t pretend it’s anything but.”

Surprisingly, Reyes smiles at him, and the pressure of his fingers on Scott's shoulders increase just so. He sighs, his eyes roving over Scott in a way that makes him feel stripped and bare-bones and evaluated. That fire is lighting up behind Reyes' dilating pupils the longer he stares, and Scott swallows, trying to prepare himself for whatever Reyes is about to dish out.

“You know what this is all about, Pathfinder?" Reyes begins softly, his accent thick amidst the low tones. "Control. You were thrust into this job, that much I know, and you’ve spiraled your way through hell trying to deal with it.” He shrugs, offhandedly, like Scott’s shitty attitude adjustment is something he can logically explain. “Of course, you’re seeking out control wherever you can get it. Like this shit with Sloane.”

Scott opens his mouth to argue, slightly bewildered at the emotional change, but Reyes cuts him off, releasing Scott’s shoulder momentarily to hold up his hand.

“No -- wait, just listen. You’ve had to assert yourself since you’ve arrived on the Nexus, right? You’ve had to gain respect where it should’ve been considered a right, and the only way you’re keeping your head on straight through all this fucking shit with the kett and death and being a goddamn savior, is to...well, to establish your control over it. To take reassurance wherever you can get it.”

Reyes pauses, trailing his eyes over every inch of Scott’s face, looking for something that Scott can only fathom. Whatever he finds seems to satisfy him, and he continues, his voice turning down a pitch, a brush of sultry and dark.

“The whole time I’ve known you, you’ve been desperate to prove your worth. You’re here now, trying to pick a fight with me to establish some sort of dominance on Kadara; to prove you’re better than some smuggler with power, because that’s what people need.  But do you know what you need, Ryder?”

Scott shakes his head mutely, eyes widening as Reyes moves much too close. He can feel his own blood pulsing beneath his skin, and he can’t quite tell if time has stopped, or if his mind has relented on trying to catch up, floating through a haze of disbelief and anticipation. The gold that shimmers in the brown hues of Reyes’ eyes is startling, some sort of metaphor Scott is too wrapped up in the moment to try and ascertain, but when Reyes nudges him backwards, he goes, like all he had ever been waiting to do was receive the instruction.

“I think,” Reyes continues, voice greedy and inviting, the prickling of things to come seeping under Scott’s skin to warrant a flush of goosebumps. Reyes backs Scott up further. “...that you simply need…” He can feel his back hit the cold wall behind him, a sudden jolt against his rapidly heating skin. Reyes’ hands are moving deftly down his arms to pin his wrists against the wall, though incredulously, he has no desire to fight back against it. Reyes moves in, the ghost of his lips grazing against Scott’s neck, right above the collarbone, and Scott can feel his knees go weak. “...To relinquish that control.”

A switch goes off inside Scott’s head, as though he’s been starved for the opportunity, crazed for the absence of release. He groans in relief and turns his head, begging Reyes to meet him, which Reyes does with fervor, finally closing that precious inch of space between them.

The harsh push of Reyes’ lips against his sets off sparks behind his eyes, and Reyes frees one of his wrists to reach up and run his fingers across Scott’s cheek, as though he were a thing to be cherished. He tightens his grip on Scott’s other wrist, pressing him harder against the wall and tries to coax Scott’s tongue out of whatever shell-shocked abyss he’s fallen into. When Scott regains his senses enough to kiss back, trying to keep up with Reyes’ enthusiastic pace, he can feel the bastard smiling against him, like he’d won Kadara all over again.

Reyes’ thigh is slipping in between his legs, pressing up against him in a friction that shoots wildfire across his skin, and he immediately grinds against it, all pretense of power forgotten. He lets a whine escape him, barely audible, and pulls away from Reyes mouth to bury his face against his neck, losing himself to the beautiful, agonizing torture of rutting against too many layers of clothing.

“Good boy,” Reyes whispers breathlessly, gripping Scott’s sides tightly to urge him down, to ride the hard line of Reyes cock, hidden beneath his pants.

Scott groans at the words, too lost within novelty to feel ashamed. He’d never imagined himself in this situation, with his back against the wall at the mercy of a man who dared call him “boy.” But his already hardening cock gave a significant twitch of interest at the breathless encouragement, and Scott eagerly resigns himself to letting go completely, buried in the thick, gun-metal scent that leaves him in a phenomenal and blissed-out haze.

But Reyes grabs his chin with rough fingers, forcing Scott to meet him for another kiss, and he can feel the shaking plead in his own body, the soft keen and sigh that threatens to unravel him at each soft bite Reyes leave against his bottom lip.

He can hear “Reyes,” coming from his mouth, a soft engrossment and moan that’s laced around disbelief. Of gratefulness. And Reyes’ reaction is instantaneous, turning Scott around with a soft growl to press him up against the wall, hands trailing down past his shoulders, his back, his ribs, to land with a firm grip on his hips. Reyes lips find the back of his neck, kissing his own secrets into the skin he finds there, heavy and promising.

When Reyes finally presses up close behind him, spreading his body heat across Scott's back, the relief Scott feels nearly floors him. Something about being held down, with Reyes’ arousal pressing hard against his ass, unwinds him in a way that being the dominant partner never could, and he’s desperate for more of it. He twists one arm around to frantically grab at the fabric of Reyes’s pants, urging him to thrust up against him. Reyes follows the command on autopilot, wrapping his arm around Scott’s chest to stabilize them as he grinds into Scott from behind, letting out a quiet gasp of pleasure before restraining himself.

“Careful,” Reyes warns, lips against the skin of Scott’s neck. “I have no problems taking you like this.”

Scott shivers, his mind slammed with the image of Reyes sliding his cock into him right here, pressed up against the wall like they couldn’t wait long enough to even make it to the couch. He’s straining against his pants at the thought.

“Do it,” he says sharply, and he can feel Reyes breath hitch behind him. “Right here. I want… I need it.”

Reyes groans and tightens his grip around Scott’s chest, wrapping both arms around every part of Scott he can press against, and it’s too close, too personal, and if he weren’t half as inebriated as he was, Scott would be entranced by what it means.

“Fuck,” Reyes mutters, his accent thick and heavy as he breathes Scott in. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that?”

Scott smirks, despite himself, overcome with the scintillating knowledge that he’s gotten under Reyes skin just as much as the smuggler has gotten under his. It emboldens him. He rubs himself through his pants, just to relieve some of the pressure, and looks over his shoulder at Reyes, whose cheeks are flushed and eyes lust-blown.

“Come on, baby,” he teases, way more cocky than he feels. “You going to do this, or do we need to change places?”

Something dangerous flashes in Reyes’ eyes, and Scott loves it. He’s thriving on it. And when Reyes pushes him back against the wall, one hand disappearing from Scott’s side with the sound of a belt being undone, it’s all he can do to bite his lip and restrain the groan that’s dying to leave his throat. He follows Reyes lead and works on freeing his own neglected cock, sighing in relief as he pulls himself out and jerks with quick, tight strokes.

Reyes moves to push Scott’s pants down further, uncovering him just enough for what he needs, and Scott pushes back against him, desperate to feel more of Reyes skin, knowing that Reyes’ cock is exposed behind him and so achingly close to where he wants it to be.

Reyes curses under his breath in response, hands running underneath Scott's shirt to touch any part of the heated skin he can reach, like he's desperate for the contact. He presses their bodies together again, testing the boundaries of their intimacy, and buries his face into the bend of Scott’s neck.

“Calm down, you can have it,” he whispers, the shit-eating grin evident against Scott’s skin as he trusts lightly against Scott’s ass, moving his free hand down to run his fingers across the head of Scott’s dick, smearing the precome with his thumb.

Scott is shaking now, torn between pressing back against the thick cock behind him, or thrusting into the deft fingers jerking him off slowly, teasingly. He audibly groans when Reyes shifts his attentions to his balls, sly fingers caressing him and winding him up, promises of what’s to come.

“Reyes, please,” he begs, without prompting, and Reyes laughs darkly against him, tightening his fingers on Scott’s hip in approval.

“Oh I can definitely get used to that,” he mutters, but Scott can hear the ragged edge to his voice, the imbalance before the fall, and if the slight shake of his hand as he moves his fingers towards Scott’s mouth is any indication, he’s as close to the edge as Scott feels.  

He sucks on Reyes fingers dutifully, his stomach twisting in on itself when he hears the appreciative intake of breath behind him. He makes a show of it, running his tongue across each digit, sucking slightly, biting the tips of Reyes fingers, everything to plant the curiosities of what else his mouth could be used for.

“Dirty boy,” Reyes mutters behind him, and a smart comeback is on the tip of Scott’s tongue before Reyes takes his revenge and slides his first finger in deep, without warning. Scott goes to jerk away in surprise, but Reyes holds his hips steady, moving to encircle Scott’s waist instead, keeping him grounded as he groans.

“Goddamn,” Reyes mutters, moving slowly in and out of Scott, lips pressed against his shoulder. “You’re so…” He loses his trail of thought, looking down to watch Scott shift and move himself further down onto Reyes finger.

“Go,” Scott mutters, and Reyes does without question, inserting the next finger and letting Scott adjust to it, planting soft kisses across the exposed skin of Scott’ neck. After a long moment of shifting and small gasps of surprising bursts of pleasure, Scott nods. “It’s fine. Please.”

But Reyes hesitates. “Ryder, you’re so tight. You ever done this before?”

For a horrible moment, he thinks Reyes is going to bail on him, but it passes quickly when he feels the arm around him tighten just a minuscule amount, a reassurance.

“No,” he answers honestly, feeling emptier when Reyes’ fingers slip out of him. “You’re the first.”

He can feel the reaction that garners from Reyes, with the slightly surprised exhale as though Scott's just handed him a gift, coupled with the twitch of Reyes' already straining cock.

“Fuck,” Reyes mumbles, lining himself up. “Scott -- I...I need to be inside you.”

He can feel the head of Reyes’ precome soaked dick pressing against him, and shivers in anticipation. He’s bracing himself against the wall, steel panels that are now warm to the touch, held up only by Reyes’ arm underneath him and whatever purchase he can find on the slick metal under his hands and the ground under his shaking legs. He feels exposed, knowing that Reyes is staring down at him, feeling him tease his cock across his hole, catching on his rim just enough to make him desperate and needy.

“Reyes, please. Please,” he mumbles, turning his head to look over his shoulder. The sight that greets him nearly floors him. Reyes meets his eyes dead-on, pupils dark and blown wide with a flush covering his cheeks. He looks half-crazed, lost in the throes of fervid want, and Scott thrives on knowing he drove him there.

Finally, once he knows that Scott’s eyes are locked on him, he pushes in, slow and deliberately, letting the long drag and sting soften into something tolerable until he is completely sheathed inside of him.

“Fuck,” Scott curses softly, looking away to bury his face in the crook of his arm, trying to overcome the sting of pain. Reyes is there in an instant, bringing his free hand to loop around Scott’s chest alongside the other, easing him into it, draping his body heat across Scott’s back. He’s mumbling things under his breath, things that make Scott’s breath hitch and his heart jump to his throat.

“You’re so good to me, you take me so well, mi querida. So tight for me, so needy… you ready, baby?

Scott registers the nickname, but files it away next to the soft kisses and careful intimacy, to be examined later. He nods his head, feeling more full than he ever expected to, and Reyes moves back just slightly, just far enough away to place a hand on Scott’s lower back to help guide them.

And then, he moves.

Scott’s eyes roll back into his head and he groans at the soft pull inside of him. Reyes precome is doing an excellent job of slicking him just enough to allow movement, while still retaining that rough and dirty tug of unpreparedness that Scott is craving. Reyes feels too big inside of him, blossoms of pain and pleasure shooting liquid fire through his body with each ragged heartbeat. The sensation is entirely new, and he’s desperate for it, pining for it, scraping his fingernails uselessly against the wall as Reyes lets out a filthy curse behind him, his hand moving from Scott’s back to lightly finger the sensitive area around his neck. He’s going so slow, so carefully, and it’s maddening to both of them.

“Scott. I can’t…”

He’s sounds strung out, overwhelmed, and somehow, Scott knows exactly what he means, and what he needs to hear.

“I trust you,” he breathes into the wall, nudging Reyes cautious fingers with his cheek in a quick affirmation.

Reyes growls softly in appreciation and his fingers tighten over Scott’s throat while his other arm curls protectively, greedily, around Scott’s waist.

Then, he sinks in hard.

“Fuck!” Scott chokes out his curse, but Reyes is already pulling back out to slam home again, setting up a pace that screams of their prolonged patience and denial. Scott feels like he’s being torn in half, but it’s countered beautifully by the spasms of pleasure that wrack their way through him each time Reyes’ slides against the tight walls inside of him. The fingers around his throat only amplify the sensation, finding an anchoring grip in one of the most tender and intimate places in Scott’s body.

Being thrust into wildly by a man he’s known only briefly, a man who has proved himself to be deceitful, murderous, and dangerously ambitious, turns out to be the most impressive aphrodisiac he’s ever known. And the danger of subjecting himself to that man, letting him take full control and fuck into him like a toy, hand locked around his throat, just an inch away from pressing in just the right spot to render him unconscious, succumbs him entirely, leaving him completely sated from the desperation he’s been consumed by.  

Reyes is losing control behind him, broken Spanish littering the edges of Scott’s name as he fucks into him ruthlessly, like they’d been waiting for it, like it had been missed. The feeling of being lost in sensation, of just taking what he’s given, lights Scott up like a live-wire, and he can feel the edge of the horizon slipping closer, knowing he’s only moments away from barreling over it.

“Reyes--!”

Reyes adjusts instantly, moving his hand to curl around Scott’s neglected dick, and Scott sees fucking stars behind his eyes, a debilitating combination of Reyes’ taking what he wants from him while ensuring Scott follows him over the edge.

“Come with me,” Reyes breathes, completely undone and entirely overwhelmed, and Scott loses it. He comes across Reyes’ hand with a strangled cry on his lips, a complete white-out that encompasses all the satisfaction of every moment his traitorous mind had left him wondering what it would feel like to have Reyes pressed against him. Reyes follows him, pressing in deep and clinging tightly to Scott, as though he’d never trust anyone else to support him as he fell into complete vulnerability, spilling himself inside of Scott like he was staking a claim, soft compliments still whispered from his lips.

They stay like that, a moment extended in time, wound together and radiating heat and gratification. Reyes is the first to move, peeling himself from Scott’s trembling body to pull out gingerly, pressing an appreciative kiss to the back of Scott’s sweat-soaked shirt.

Scott straightens himself up, trying to will the shaking in his body to subside so he can stand properly, intent on ignoring the sting of pain that shoots up his back as he moves into a more dignified position. He’s barely refastened his pants before Reyes is on him, pulling him into a kiss that he immediately sinks his entire body into.

There’s no heat behind it, only an echo of the crazed desire that led them to this conclusion, but there’s a passion in it that leaves him stunned, quietly dissolving into a grateful mess as Reyes kisses him like he means it, like it might be his last opportunity to do so. There’s a hand on his cheek, caressing his skin fondly before Reyes finally pulls away.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks, staring into Scott’s eyes like he would be able to find the broken man inside of them. Find him and fix him.

Scott smiles, and he's relieved to find he doesn't need to fake it. “No. Well, no more than I expected. But, um. Thank you.”

He shifts awkwardly, waiting for the moment when Reyes will pull back and end the delicate intimacy that’s only in the beginning stages of infancy. He’s bracing himself for it, building up his strength to avoid succumbing to the distant pang of disappointment, but it never happens. Reyes maintains his contact, keeping Scott as close as possible, as though his desire to be near him had nothing to do with their insurmountable attraction.

“You will never need to thank me for that, Ryder,” Reyes grins, and though he’s back to the vernacular Scott has come to know from associates, there’s a glimmer of something else there -- a tease within a professional air, and Scott is nearly winded with relief. There’s something there. He came looking for something, and he found it.

“Although, I must admit that I’m surprised,” Reyes continues, running his thumb across the bend in Scott’s wrist. “After watching you agonize over it for months outside of Tartarus, I never thought you’d actually come confront me.”

Scott jolts slightly in embarrassment. “You knew about that?”

Reyes scoffs, adjusting Scott’s shirt where it had wrinkled up against his stomach. “Please. I’m the king of Kadara, Pathfinder. And besides, I can never resist watching you pick a fight with the locals,” he winks, and Scott laughs lightly.

“Look, about the thing with Sloane--”

But Reyes waves him off. “Don’t start. I can’t fathom the turmoil your head must be in, but whatever reassurance I can offer you, I’m happy to give it. If you will something for Kadara, I’ll make it happen. We're a team here, Scott.”

Scott raises an eyebrow. “Reassurance? Is that what we’re calling this?”

“Well,” Reyes counters, his voice lowering as he runs his fingers across the back of Scott’s neck, eliciting an enticing shiver. “Do you feel reassured?”

Scott leans into the touch automatically, clinging to that gun-metal scent that’s now laced with the sweet smell of sex. “I feel a lot of things, Reyes,” he admits, and it’s softer than he imagined it to be in his head. He feels more vulnerable now than he did five minutes ago, bent over and taken.

But Reyes is there, gathering up his insecurities before they can flee from the room and out into the vast expanses of Andromeda where the population can find them. His arm curls around Scott’s waist and he kisses Scott’s hand delicately, seemingly just because he feels allowed to.

“Good,” he mutters back, a genuine smile on his face. “But out of concern for your well-being, I ask that you come visit me whenever you need to work through things. I’d rather avoid you being hurt because you’re too prideful.”

Scott grins and rests his forehead against Reyes, basking in the absolute security he feels, finally at peace with accepting it from the least secure source he’s ever known. But Reyes shifts slightly, and Scott can feel the uncertain questions that are haunting him before Reyes even cautiously give them voice.

“Perhaps… maybe, I can be the only one you visit?”

Scott falters, both because he’s never seen Reyes more hesitant, hanging on the changes in Scott's expression like they hold more answers than he dared ask, and because from the very beginning, he imagined this encounter going entirely differently, despite what he wanted.

“Are you asking me for exclusively, Reyes?” Scott teases, trying to hide the pleasant shock that's steadily filling all the empty parts within him.

Reyes shrugs, nonchalant, but the ghost of a smile lingers on the edges of his mouth, and it's all Scott can do to lean in and kiss him, overcome with the knowledge that he might be able to do it freely, without questioning the cons and re-evaluating what led him there.

“And here I thought you were going to be difficult,” Scott remarks, pulling away just enough to speak, content with sharing his air with the man before him, his heart pounding in unexpected, unaltered joy.

“I'm just looking out for my kingdom, Pathfinder. After all, every king needs a --”

“Finish that sentence Vidal, and I will paint this room in your blood.”

Reyes laughs and kisses him through an honest smile, his arms winding around Scott to pull him close.

“Kadara suits you, Scott.”

But they've both known that for a long time now.

[tdrcycle09]

Main Challenge #7 - Snatch Game!

This week, our queens put their feet in someone else’s shoes, and played the Snatch Game! Let’s see how well they did!

Analyse Thropic | Trisha Paytas

I chose to do Trisha Paytas for my Snatch Game, because a) I thought she was already this over-the-top character that would be fun to portray and b) she’s in a weird sort of way someone to admire. Like, for as much of a constant mess as Trisha is, she takes it in stride and she always gets back up and gets to work. I think there’s a lesson in there somewhere. Anyways, for the look, I took a lot of inspiration from the music video for Thick. She has some cut off jorts and I.CON.IC. socks-over-heels in the video, and pink sweaters are a staple of her wardrobe. No Trisha look is complete with some cute nails and a pair of sunglasses. Another iconic part of Trisha’s fashion is her collection of chokers. I think this look is pretty minimalistic, but is definitely something you could catch Trisha wearing when she’s driving her pink G-Wagon to Wendy’s or just filming a short vlog sitting on her living room floor.

Lila: I hate you so much. I could’ve just put your video on in the background and done some sewing and you couldn’t have told me if it was Trisha Paytas or Ms. Analyse Thropic playing her ass. I literally HOLLERED when I saw your titties this week, it just seems like they’re a focal point every week and we just have to point them out. Your characterisation of her was spot on, I loved that you kept the outfit quite draggy and the socks on your heels are everything. One thing I would’ve worked on is that you could’ve had your questions pop up in some sort of subtitle box, and cut dramatically from one mood to the other rather than having a sort of continuous vlog-style loop. It kind of threw me off when you started crying randomly rather than sitting with a high angle shot of you in the kitchen or even if you were crying into a bag of potato chips, like it could’ve worked all the more while. Overall, this was great work, Analyse!

Gluttoni: Analyse! I love you per usual. What a great choice as far as personalities go to do Trisha. Who in my eyes is one of the greatest viral stars and musicians ever. “Thick” the single was iconic. I’ll start with the look which of course is a tricky subject this week because you're painting with someone else in mind. But gurlllll….why you look so dry henny? I was seeing the progress of more refined brows and fined tuned makeup in the past weeks soooo don’t backtrack. I do think you did a fairly good job of doing a light “real girl beat” but I was just expecting more because Trish is extra as fuck. I loved the outfit because it definitely reflected something trendy women of 2017 would wear. So the look was pretty A1. What would have put this submission over the edge for me would have been more youtube lingo type shit. Like the freeze frame video icons with dumb ass titles during your punch lines for dramatic effect or simply more fucking crying. Also where was the mukbang portion. I feel a little cheated out of the drama that is Trisha but that aside this was strong snatch. Tight too.

Letha:  Analyse, as always you had me HOLLERING with your video. It was hilarious, your characterizations of Trisha were spot on, and even the shaky, vlog style of filming made sense. You captured the airheadedness of your character while still making your responses clever and funny. The look is very Trisha (those fuckin sock shoes, I cannot with you), but watch the leg bands on your tights. They kind of throw off the look of the leg, so if you're gonna wear them make sure you have an opaque pair of tights without the bands on the outside layer to hide them better. The makeup is also pretty good, the colors of the lips/brows make sense and I line the smoky eye. I feel like you're a bit flour white towards the middle of the face, especially the nose, so I think you could have toned it down for this challenge, since Trisha is a bit more subtle. Lip shape is good as well! You had a bit of a setback with your phobia last week, but I'm pleased to say you've made a full recovery in my eyes, great job!

Toni: Honestly I am disappointed this week from you, there wasn’t enough boobs, mukbangs, and you didn’t out anyone as gay and didnt cry enough????? Like 01/10. But in all reality this is sooooooo fucking funny I was crying!!! I kinda love these huge tits on you i think if you amde them a couple cups smaller it would look good on you. I think you really captured her personality and how tacky she is. I would have loved to see the nose be a bit more pug like the way hers is and I would have loved that instead of it being the vlog style video if you set it up as a mukbang, but all around this was so fucking funny!!!

Avana Noir | Abby Wilde as Stacey Dillsen

HELLO judges! FOR SNATCH GAME I play Abby Wilde as her character STACEY DILLSEN from Zoey 101!. she is a quirky character for her love of cotton schwabs, sassafras tea and LOGAN REESE which i amped for snatch game! She is kind of crazier and quirkier and schwabier! For my look I kind of based it off her prom look for the show since stacy doesnt really have good fashion...thats one thing we have in common! haha. I hope you hoes enjoy my lewk and performance!

Lila: Avana, I’m starting to just lose hope so much. I think this week out of any other was the chance to really step up and knock Snatch Game out of the park, and your portrayal of this actress playing a character didn’t work out so well. I had to google your character to find out about them as well as their actress’ name as  well, and Stacey Dillsen is rather a relic of the past with a few small jokes. Zoey 101 wasn’t as funny for me as a child, the only funny thing was the paralyzing potato chips episode, and as you can see, I don’t recall the episode name or title. For me, the video was flat, and the fire you had Week 3 in the soap opera isn’t prominent here. I think now is the time to really worry, we’re down to the final 7 and it’s go time from here on out. Overall, you did alright this week.

Gluttoni: I was not expecting this, Avana! I know you had a plethora of choices to choose from for the Snatch Game and I literally avoided your personal chat just so can be surprised about your choice. ZOEY 101 was such an iconic show and literally your character brought so much nostalgia back for me. Because who does not relate to Stacy in some form or fashion. She’s kook, kind of spooky and honestly just plain ol’ weird. You kind of took it there but literally not all the way. If you’re going to go completely out of the box, take it all the way there girl. Because I was just missing some more the traits that made her lovably odd. The look is very eh and I think you could have found something to fit her a bit better but I understand the prom joke. This was very cute and I definitely got a few good chuckles out of this. Werk bitch because I know you have more to give.

Letha:  Avana, I must admit I'm not too thrilled with your choices this week. Stacey Dillsen is a mildly funny, if annoying character from Zoey 101, and not one I would call an icon. But even considering that, if the video had been funny the choice would have worked for me, but I just didn't laugh that much. I do remember laughing at the throw/fall though. The voice you had pretty much down, which was esssentially just the lisp, but I'm not buying the look. I feel like you could have been MUCH MORE Zoey 101 with the fashion, even if you were going to prom, and that wig could have been much more pig tails and berets and all that. The makeup I can see for the character, maybe a darker lip would have helped. The swabs are a nice prop, though. All in all, I wasn't too shook by the performance, it was just okay for me. 

Toni:  So you made a really bold move with your character and sadly it really didn’t end up to well. I think the makeup is really fitting for the character and I think the voice is right, but i do think the dress isn’t fitting, you could have worn a sweater and jeans and your hair in pig tails and it would have been better. Content wise it was kinda flat, you only had 3 jokes that you kept going back to. I think this is because on the show shes a very one dimensional character and that was hard to make a into a fully realized impersonation. I think next time your best bet would be picking a stronger character.

Lexi Lamour | Tomi Lahren

Hi, Judges! Who did you vote for in this election? Because my special celebrity guest may have a few words for you depending on your choice! I chose to do Tomi Lahren because she's enough of a character that I could build on her personality. I was going for offensive, yet funny....circa Manila Luzon in RPDR S3 in the interview challenge. I was able to pull some things she's actually said, but also come up with things that I could see her saying. I didn't just want to quote directly everything she's said as I know that's been a problem during this challenge in the past. I feel like i got her movements, mannerisms, and just behavior in general down. I know the voice isn't totally there and I really did try, but this damn accent is as deep as I allow men to......well nevermind! As for the look I picked her classic silhouette. There are so many pictures online where she is wearing almost the exact same thing. She almost always wears a nude heel, so I paid attention to that detail. She's very minimal with the jewelry. Just a ring and a bracelet or 2. Overall I think I really did a good job with embodying her as well as taking her to an extra level.

Lila:  Ugh, those damn liberals and their Snotch Game. Hey Lexi! First off, the transformation into liberal slayer Tammy Lacoste is so accurate, I love it. From the skirt up, it’s really great. Nitpicking, be careful with you tights - flash photography always makes nylon fabric come up with this weird kind of texture and just a small lighting fix’ll help that! You got Toyota’s mannerisms and poses down to a T - however, after the third answer, I wasn’t really entertained. Like, I think I remember Tabitha being a liberal before that, and you could’ve broke up half the alt-right rants up with things contradicting herself, which would’ve made it a lot more satirical and less “okay, she said Trump again,” or “Oh, another liberal jab” I think I’m like banging down on you a little, just because you played her character really well, like I was like “ugh this girl needs to stop talking!” and that’s how most of us feel when we see Tombola Loreal on Facebook and Twitter. Overall, great work this week!

Gluttoni: LEXI! I was fucking gagged! Now I can’t stand Tonsillitis Litter but your impersonation of her was so spot on that I had to laugh. I’m glad you added the little disclaimer at the end bitch because for minute it got too real with your accent (that worked so well for this) that I thought you going back on the evolution chain and Animorphing into her. I don’t have any favorite parts about Tahiti Lasso but I love how you got the name calling down. It was so spot on but I wish you would have gotten more creative with them and made some crazy ass combinations of words that literally made no sense but overall you definitely got the vibes of her demonic self right. You looked so much like her and you definitely got her finger pointing, yelling demeanor down! I do think sometimes you could have pulled back just a tad and added something more dynamic to the character but you were doing someone with only a few brain cells .This was such intelligent choice for you and you honestly came to fight for another win with this funny interpretation of  this woman.

Letha:  Lexi, your impersonation was great this week. The look is totally on point and the only thing I would have changed would be to add a bit of highlight or gloss on to the center of the lip, as Tomi is very much a gloss girl. The set is a great touch as well. I'm not feeling the voice/mannerisms as much, as you kind of started to yell and I felt a bit more 'you' coming through. Tomi is very much controlled, almost monotone crazy, which I did get a bit of in your video, but wasn't too consistent. I had some laughs throughout the video and it was well put together, your editing is getting better for sure. Good job this week!

Toni: Tomato lavato my god. I think the look is literally a carbon copy, except for the lips could have a nice gloss on them and be shaped a bit cleaner. I was screaming during the video because bitch you were just saying shit she could say. I do enjoy that you went off a few times because that was funny.I do think your voice was 100% you which broke the fantasy a bit.  I think if you had done a joke or two like “trump would never EVER totally try to strip the gays of their rights” where its super tounge in cheek would have been so funny. Over all good work this week!

Marcella Fox | Victoria Beckham

Marcella Fox, who do you think you are? Some kind of superstar? Why yes, actually! So this week I’m everyone’s favourite 90’s rich bitch, Victoria Beckham! I chose her because I knew I could look like her, I knew I could sound like her, and I knew I could stretch her signature personality and dry sense of humour to make her funny enough for the snatch game! My version of her is very snobbish and bitter about her former bandmates, and clearly has her head in the clouds. Look-wise, I went full-on 90’s Spice Girl Posh - complete with little black dress, poker-straight bob and streaky fake tan! Instantly recognisable and truly iconic. It’s quite a simple look, no jewellery whatsoever, but that’s how she did things back then! And of course a pair of huge sunglasses to shield her eyes from the paparazzi. I copied her make-up almost exactly, and contoured my nose to look like her old one. You can call me a Wannabe, and say it’s Too Much, but I’ll just tell you to Stop!

Lila: I am gonna be honest, I opened your submission and I literally thought you kidnapped Posh Spice from the 90s and told her to pose for the camera. You look so DIFFERENT - I LOVE IT. Like, I don’t know who this is. This isn’t Marcella Fox -- until you opened your mouth. Almost immediately when you did your Snatch Game, the illusion dithered for me. I got elements of Victoria in there, but I wasn’t gut busting with laughter like I was for your informercial or soap opera challenge. I had a little chuckle at some elements that seemed totally commited, and some were quite slow and turned down a lot. There was a lot of commitment to the look, and some commitment to the performance, which had you had more of that stone cold physicality Victoria has, you could’ve amped your performance up to the Nth degree. However, you still Spiced Up our Lives. Great work!

Gluttoni: This was spot fucking on Marcie! Posh Spice is the Spice Girl everyone wants to be but not everyone can hone in on the diva essence that she has. You totally did that and it was outstanding to watch because it felt like I was watching a rare interview with her. THE LOOK WAS SO RIGHT. You looked so much like her I was so shook. I’d look like a junior high football player if I wore a tube dress and you looked so good so kudos to that. The mannerisms were there and the answers were thought out/funny. The fucking candy bar had me on the floor crying. My only critique I can give is that the characters you do tend to come off a tad similar so be wary of that. Overall phenomenal job gurl!

Letha: Marcella, let me start by saying that your look is on POINT this week. The makeup, the outfit, the hair, it's all Posh to a T and I live for it. That being said, I would say your video was pretty good, but not my favorite. I had a few laughs, but when picking someone like Vicky who doesn't have a huge personality, you had to really sell the cleverness, which I didn't get as much. I get that Victoria is a 'bitch', but it was pretty much just the one note throughout. The voice was not there at all for me, it was straight up Marcie, which isn't a huge point of contention, but it would have sold it more for me. Editing was good and snappy as always. All in all, good job!

Toni: Marcie im sorry but its actually against the rules to have Victoria stand for you. But in all seriousness the look is 100% on point and I really enjoyed how well you looked like her. The voice was very you and not Posh which broke the fantasy a bit. You did have so many good moments and I think the best one was the kitkat bit where shes sneaking bites, and I think if you had taken it a step further and gotten caught and spit it up, that would have been a riot. I think you were at the edge of the jokes going from funny to hysterical for most of the jokes and I wish you had pushed it over the edge. Over all good job this week!

Phoebe St. Jefferson | Abby Lee Miller

Wow I Made it to snatch game. Give it up for the comedy queens who flop at every comedy challenge! -huge applause- HOPEFULLY this video isnt as cringe as the infomercial one. I think I did a pretty good job portraying one of the meanest ladies in reality TV.

I chose Abby Lee no for her looks, but for her attitude in life. She is everything I want to be when I grow up. Delusional, fat and serving 2 years in prison for fraud. My biggest challenge was making myself the same size as abby. The judges did say to pick someone you could physically resemble and clearly I can’t read. For the weight I tucked in blackets and socks under a shirt to make myself more lumpy. For the hair I used rolled up socks to make a big bump, and then made her iconic side swept bangs. I dressed in as much black as I could and as always for abby added a colorful scarf. For characterization, I tried to look as old and bitter as possible, and I always had at least 2 sour patch kids in my mouth. I hope you guys enjoy my new found mean streak.

Lila: It feels, to me, that there’s a lack of something here. I don’t know, it feels like you’ve had a bad week or something and your work shows it. You aren’t really connecting as Abby Lee Miller, but you have the look of her down, big baggy jumper, her nasolabial creases, the hair, ehhh, not so much, be careful on that part. It just came across as angry gym teacher mainly. You cracked several times, you stammered quite a bit through your snatch game, and there was a few elements that were good, like the beginning with the wall, I got that immediately, and that was kind of it. I get that, we’re one in the same; we can’t play a celebrity parody of a character, we’re more attuned to real life people because real life people have those quirks, whereas some celebrities don’t have that innate relatability. Anyways, it was an okay try this week, Phoebe.

Gluttoni: Phoebe, I thought this challenge could have been yours for the taking if I’m honest. Because I know you to be very humorous and bubbly but somehow I feel like your wit was just a bit lost in the sauce. Abby Lee for me is very rarely funny on TV because she’s more stern than she is comical and I don’t think she may have been the best choice of what you should have done. I loved the pyramid aspect but I thought she always starts from the bottom but that’s a minor detail. I thought that helped lighten up this video for me a bit. The body padding and inflections were very on point. I just thought this could have been pushed just a tad farther in order for it to really be a stand out amongst the pack. How’s your head? Because bitch it needs to be in the game.

Letha: Phoebe, when picking someone like Abby Lee Miller, I needed more personality. You had some sassy moments, but you cracked and lost the character and came across as just generally bitchy, which can get a bit boring. I feel like if you had had better editing, it could have helped you make things a bit snappier and more professional. The look is pretty much there, you could have done arguably less liner, but hey, it's drag. I feel like, and this is just my personal opinion, that you're very quirky, maybe a bit awkward, and are at your funniest when you are just being yourself. I think if you had maybe picked a celeb more along those lines, it might have worked better, as I feel you stretched yourself a little too far with this impersonation. All in all, it's just alright for me. 

Toni: SHE HAD A SOURPATCH KID IN EVERYQUESTION. So there were parts of this that were good and parts that were bad. The good is the look, looking at you I can instantly tell who you are there are just a few things i would fix, like lighter eyeliner and making sure you don’t get super muddy! On the content of your video I felt that it was lacking a lot, it started out good with the pyramid and kinda dwindled with you breaking character and making anne frank jokes???? I think if you had focused more on making it like you were training us (the viewers) it would have turned out a lot better!

Sugar Monroe |  Nikkie De Jager

Hiiiiieeeeee judges! This week for snatch game I decided to do NikkieTutorials because, when I started drag, she was my go to for makeup! So I decided to pay homage to her. From the smokey halo eye to the blinding highlight. She’s also known for wearing pajamas pants while filming so I did too. The cat ears are also her fave accessory. :3

Lila: Whatever Happened To Jeffree Star? Hi Sugar! I liked your Snatch Game, it was sub-par as far as the look and performance went. You had some solid moments parodying Nikkie and I loved your tongue and cheek attitude to her life and stuff, really cute look, obviously she’s only done two hyper-draggy looks so I mean, I expected this. Personally, I felt like I was watching a trailer when your snatch game was happening - nitpick, chill with the transitional shots! A quick jump cut to the question would’ve done better. It did get a little like Housewives-catchphrasey, how quick you answered some of your questions, if you structured it out to be a little bit more like funny funny funny, like your video was so short, you could’ve done like a mini Hits and Oh God No’s in the middle of it, like being like “on my Oh God No’s list, (a read of someone or something)” and like editing is such a key to make things funny too, stopping the music to make a joke land is a good key for editing. (P.S. - I think this highlighter technique looks amazing, practice on your actual mug a little too!) Overall, you did a good job this week!

Gluttoni: This was also another spot on intelligent choice to do Nikki, Sugar. I adore Nikki because she's honestly such a talent and a dork. While I can see where you were going, you just didn’t put in a lot of momentum that I needed for one of my personal favorite beauty gurus. You had the beauty influencer lingo down with the discount codes and stuff but your jokes were just a little one note and flat for me. Where is blending out your foundation with a bell pepper or boiled egg? Where are the links to your vlogs for you at a random beauty con? This just needed a little more quirkiness to take the likeness of Nikki up a bit because I was getting more Sugar than anything. The blonde wig, cat ears and pajama pants were very on brand for what you were trying to sell. Solid work this week but I know you got something bigger and better in store for us.Chat Conversation End

Letha: Sugar, this look is cute and I knew who you were doing right away. The fashion picks were a choice and your explanation makes sense (and honestly we all do the same when filming, let's be real). The makeup makes a lot of sense for Nikkie, and the overblown highlight is very her. As for the VIDEOOO, I felt it was quite short? I'm all for being brief but I feel like you could have let the jokes develop and breathe more, rather than just rushing on to the next one. I had a few chuckles throughout, and the whole thing was very tongue in cheek, which was good. I know we talked about the voice, and I wasn't too pleased that there wasn't much of a change to your normal voice. You're VERY Southern, and I just didn't get much Nikkie in that regard. The editing was okay, a bit abrupt at places, but the green screen work was a nice touch. All in all, there were some places for improvement, but not bad!

Toni: Lets start with the good I think the look was and you really got it!! My issue comes from the video or lack there of. The character just wasn’t there other than look, because it was just all sugar and It was so bland which was a dissapointment. I think if you had included some of her gasps and screaming from some of her challenge videos it would have been a lot better. The time also is a huge factor because there was maybe 45 seconds of you on the scene and didn’t give you much time to build the character.