#but now i will be haunted the whole christmas break where my bookmark is

[maryse127]

Couldn't find my Hunger Games bookmark anywhere but luckily I had 2 more of the same bookmark at my dad's home so I can now finally start reading the Hunger Games Illustrated Edition

[snapefiction]

#5. Memories - Snapemas Challenge

A/N: Day 5 of #Snapemas! I´m late but(!!!) It's still the 5th of December. I didn't proof read this one but I will tomorrow. Enjoy! :)

Idea from @deepperplexity ´s Writing Challenge ! Check her Writings and the other Snapemas posts out! :)

❤️ Please remember that English isn’t my native language and that my Writings will include Mistakes and maybe weird formed sentences. ❤️ 

Pairing: Severus Snape x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mention of abuse

Word count: 2907

Y/N - Your Name, Y/L/N - Your last name, Y/H/C - your Hair colour 

#5. Memories

Walking down the corridor leading from the libary towards the Great hall you didn't expect to meet anyone. It was in the middle of the night and if you wouldn't have felt asleep while studying some new books you would have been already at your chambers. Trying to find the way without any light you fell over your feet twice. You tried to be respectful to the Paintings but your niceties would break your neck if you wouldn't finally turn on your wand. The reason why you studied until you fell asleep was quiet simple. Severus Snape, the Potions Master, the Man you fell in love with a few weeks ago asked you if you'd like to have Dinner with him. Of course you said yes but regretted it moments after. What if he wanted to talk about Potions? It's been three years since you've been a student yourself and he teached it for more than 8 years now. You'd totally embarrass yourself in front of him. That's why you did some panic studying after your working day. 

Reaching your chambers you quick laid down on your bed. Your head still hummed from reading about different stirring ways, ingredient preparation and correct ways to storage potions. Not being sure how much you'd remember tomorrow evening you still felt prepared and way more secure than you did a few years ago. Using a spell you invented for brushing your teeth in bed you quickly felt asleep a few moments after. Oh, magic could safe so much time of your life. You loved it.

Waking up in the Moning you instantly felt nervous. Today was the day. Around 8pm he'd pick you up at your chambers and walk you down to his where you'd eat and talk. You knew that there was no polite way out now and even if you still had the chance you wouldn't want to take it. When you First met him around a month ago at a staff meeting where Headmaster Dumbledore introduced you to the other Professors you fell in love with him. Yes, he didn't even cared about someone new joining their staff and yes he didn't even said welcome or anything at all but you still felt attached to him. He just simply wouldn't lie to be polite or to make people happy. That's it. His honesty was so refreshing fascinating that you couldn't help it but develope a thing for him. Not to mention his intelligence. He wasn't just bookmark but also life smart. Whenever you had a question about anything he'd always know the answer. He even knew a lot about Mugglestudies which impressed you a lot. Also Severus was a truly handsome man. His hooked nose may repel other people's likings but you really loved it. His whole face- the whole man was so beautiful- you couldn't stop thinking about him. Yes, he was a few years older than you are but that's the least thing that could scare you away from such an interesting human being like he was. 

The time wouldn't pass. You tried everything. In class you gave everything to distract yourself from looking towards the clock hanging on the wall, you tried to organise all your papers from your desk and clean the classroom in your break and tried to think about everything but tonight. But still the clock hasn't moved as fast as you wanted it to. Getting more and more fussy your day became a real torture. You couldn't even finish your breakfast because you got too nervous and excited that your stomach rejected to digest anything. So you gave in to let your mind wander to your black haired date and about everything you still wanted to do until you'd meet him later. As you thought about which dress you should wear you almost misspelled ,Bowtruckle' while writing on the chalkboard. It was easy to see that only the thought about him could get you out of your tracks.

Finally reaching the end of your class you almost ran to your chambers. Severus would pick you up in less than two hours and you still had to shower, pick out your outfit and rethink your whole life.

Standing on front of her door only do he could wait a few seconds until the clock hit exactly 8pm he heard her fast steps crossing the room over and over again. His palms became sweaty and his mouth dry. Was he really going on a date? Could he just go out and date someone after everything he went through with Lily? After her death he swore to himself that he could never love again but- She opened her wooden creaky door. Allowing him to look at her. Her YHC Hair was laying in curls over her shoulders. Her eyelids had a golden shimmer on them and her lashes looked as beautiful and long as always. Nervously she flattened her skirt with her hands. Her Pullover carefully tucked in at the edges. He couldn't help but smile. ,,Are you ready?" Holding out his arm he waited for her to link in which she quickly accepted. Closing her door they slowly started to walk to his chambers.

The evening went by quickly. Too quickly for your liking. After you reached his chambers, he soon served dinner. Your favorite food- and it was even more delicious than you have ever tasted it before. Afterwards you sat down on his couch, he asked you questions and you answered. At first it felt a little bit forced but as soon as he reassured you with a small smile you felt the well known warmth in your heart again. He admitted that he didn't like to talk about himself which you accepted quickly. Yes, you were curious but you didn't want to push anything. After the two of you lit the cabin and he sat next to you so you could drink some fire whiskey together you knew that he wasn't a very vocal but rather physical man. Everything he couldn't say with words displayed he by laying his hand on your knee or as you put your head on his shoulder he played with your hair. His Cologne and the smell of Lavender set in your nose. Pulling up your knees on the couch as your head slowly moved on his chest he just smiled and pulled you closer. It felt like you knew him since forever and not only since a few months. Happily you had to watch out to not fall asleep on him but stay awake and remember this closeness as long as possible.

An year later..

After knocking on Severus Door you quickly hide besides the doorframe. Trying to hold back your laughter you hoped he would open up soon. The coldness of the Dungeons was almost unbearable. As the door opened and he waited for a second you quickly jumped in front of him. Huffing at your silliness he tried to hold back his smile. You didn't mind if he'd try to hold up his facade knowing how soft he was at heart.

As you pressed a small peck on his lips and slid inside you had to try hard to hide the package behind your back. ,,Sooo- what's your plan for tonight?" After he closed the door and sat down on his desk again he shrugged his shoulders. ,,I actually don't have 'a plan'." Following him you felt like he was playing tricks on you. ,,Oh come on. It's Christmas! Everyone has a plan for Christmas!" Setting the package aside you hugged him from behind. ,,Well, Christmas is just another Day as every else." Gasping you let go. ,,Severus Snape, don't you dare to tell me that you don't celebrate Christmas!" Laying his book aside knowing you obviously had other things in mind he got up. ,,If you want to celebrate it then-" Chuckling you took his hand in yours. ,,Oh boy, who broke your heart that you never celebrate anything." His benevolent Smile faded and his monotone face returned after you finished your sentence. His rosy face turned pale as snow again and you knew it was something you said that had hurt him. Turning away he silently walked towards his kitchen.

Your heart beat so hard against your rip cage that you feared it could stop beating out of fear. ,,Sev-" It was so quiet you could've heard a bug crawling if there was one. A few seconds long you tried to understand the situation before you dared to follow him. Carefully you watched each step so you wouldn't cross an invisible line laying on the ground around him. His figure was leaning on his hand which pressed against the surface of the table. His head hung low and his hair seemed darker as it covered his face. ,,I-I didn't try to hurt you. I'm sorry.. C-Can I do something for you? Do you want a tea ?" Slowly like he could bite you let your hand rest on his back and his tension eased and he let your movements happen. Your arms made their way up to his chest so you could hug him from the side. ,,We don't need to celebrate if you don't want to. We can do anything you want to."

The words slowly swept into his skin. He couldn't explain his sudden pain besides the fact that all his most painful memories seemed to haunt him down. Her Arms slowly hugged him. It eased his pain a bit but still he felt like he could break apart any second. Telling her how much tension would build up in him whenever the 24th December got closer made him fear that he could scare her away with all his worries. One day, he was sure about that, all his worries and sins would eat him up. Besides her he had no one he could talk to and be completely honest. As her hand touched his face he got pulled away from his draining thoughts. She wiped over his cheeks and cleared his face from tears. He didn't notice how his eyes began to water. His tension could make him completely blind. ,,Do you want to be alone?" ,,No, no." Clearing his voice from the hoarseness that had been laying on it he laid an arm around her. ,,Just one moment and- and I can make dinner."

You watched him placing a small kiss on your head before he used his wand to conjure everything he needs on the counter. Without saying a word you took another knife out of one of his cupboards and started to help him. Chop, chop, chop. The knives hitted the cutting boards. Sighing you looked over to him. His Figure was still crouched down. ,,If you.. if you want to talk- and I know that it´s not easy for you-“ he let down the Knife to put the Veggies he just cute in a bowl. ,,I would talk to you if I knew how to say it in sentences.“ Adding your Veggies you gave him a small smile. ,,You can drop words and I can try to build sentences out of it. Or anything that works for you is fine as long as you can get some weight off your chest.“

It took some minutes of silence but he could felt how consistent you cared he knew he could talk to you about it. He started to open up. Page by page he read you his story. The Both of you now moved over to his couch where he pulled you close to him. Then he started feeling you about how he only celebrated Christmas at the Evans House, how much he loved Lily until he met you and how much it hit him when she died, how confused he got when he met you and how much he feels unworthy of Love. You knew that he didn’t wanted to talk about it he wanted to tell about it. He needed to get it off his mind.

,,In my unimportant opinion i think that you deserve only the best. It’s okay to grief, dear.“ Severus hand continued to let his hand stride through your hair. ,,It’s important to think about Memories that worth a lot for us. It made you who you are and makes you from day to day. Even the sad Memories are important.“ You thought about everything he told you. About his abusive Father, his love to Lily, his broken self. It made him to who he is.

,,It´s not like that that I think about her everyday. Just.. from time to time - or special occasions like Christmas or her birthday, Harrys Birthday…- that’s when I get so vulnerable. But I also think about you a lot. How happy you were when I asked you out on our first date.“ Laughing you remembered how you studied the night before the date just so you could impress him with simple potion facts he surely already knew. ,,I had to drink Felix Felicius to ask you out. Merlin, I was so nervous.“ He stated and you quickly sat up straight so you could look up at him. ,,Really?“ Surprised about what he just told you you started to chuckle. If he only knew how you couldn’t sleep all night after he asked you out or how you stayed up all night after the two of you have had their first kiss. If he only knew. Blushing you connected your lips. A strange smell pulled you out of your kiss. ,,What is this?“ His eyes widened quickly. ,,Fuck, the Dinner!“

Luckily he could save your Dinner and it wasn’t completely burned. Of course, thanks to his cooking skills it was still more than just delicious. You ate so much, your stomach strikes against any more food. Nothing would fit anymore. ,,Wait!“ You stopped him in his Tracks before he could attempt to drink his Wine. ,,I got you something.“ Running over to his desk you quickly  grabbed it and solemnly gave it to him. Confused his fingers began to unwrap the small package. Only to reveal a scarf. ,,I noticed how yours had some small holes and I knitted you a new one.“ Holding it up and laying it around his neck he presented you a big smile. ,,I love it.“ He said and looked over the little green details you added. ,,Thank you, Y/N.“ Again he kissed your lips thankful for the emotional closeness you two had.

A few years later...

Getting up you had to hold your Belly. The baby was kicking you again and despite that you loved being pregnant you finally couldn’t await the birth of your little baby girl. Passing the Christmas tree you stepped into the kitchen. ,,I’m sorry to bother you, love, but your daughter demands food.“ As Severus took the lasagna out of the oven he just send you a small laughter. ,,Like Mother like Daughter.“ He said before placing it on the kitchen Table before laying his Hands on your Stomach. ,,Oh, shut it. It’s not my fault that you’re a great Cook.“ Looking over to your plate you noticed a nicely wrapped Present. ,,Is this for me?“ Severus nodded as he pulled your chair out so you could sit down. ,,Kind of. Have a look.“  Unwrapping it you saw a little jar with something floating in it. With a quizzed look you tried to solve this little mystery in front of you. ,,It’s my Memory from our first date. I wanted to collect all my memories for our daughter. The next one could be her Birth or everything important with an meaning. And one day she can look at them.“ Slighty shy about his idea he hid his face behind his cup of water. ,,That´s- That’s so beautiful, I’m sure she will love it. I love the idea as well.“ Proud of his little family he took your plate to finally statisfy your hunger.

Four Years later.

,,Daddy, what’s this?“ The raven haired girl walked over to your Husband holding your little Son. ,,I give you one every time something big happens in our life i´ll take my memory and give you and Elliot one.“ Nodding she cuddled next to her father. ,,And what’s this one about?“ He kissed her small head and waited a second before explaining. ,,Well, this One is about Elliot Birth but I gave you another one about Mummy’s and Daddy’s Wedding as well. Maybe you can find it under aaaalll your presents.“ He smiled as he could see her instant motivation to open the rest of the gifts. ,,I love you, my dear.“ Slowly you gave Severus a kiss before you laid Elliot into his baby bed standing next to the Couch so he could continue sleeping and you cuddle next to your Husband. ,,I love you too. Merry Christmas, my love. Those are the best Memories.“ You could only agree with him when you leaned back and watched your young daughter unwrap her new doll. ,,Darling, can you give this one to Daddy please?“ Quickly she grabbed the Present you just pointed at only so he could open it up. ,,An Memory?“ Now he looked surprised. ,,Of our first Christmas together and how we kissed all night long after we let the Dinner burn.“ Laughing the both of you continued your Christmas Party knowing that there were a lot more Memories to come.

Taglist: @deepperplexity , @monstreviolet , @wow-life-love4

Let me know if you want to be added in my Taglist. :)

[queerchoicesblog]

The Graduation Gift (RoE, Mira x Jess)

This fanfic is part of the @choicesjulychallenge hosted by the soon-to-be-graduate @kinda-iconic! It's been a while since I last wrote Mira X Jess and I missed the only ship that kept me playing Roe. This fic is an ideal prequel to Hot Cocoa For Two, the one I wrote for the December Challenge.

In short, Jess finally graduates and Mira has a special gift in store for her girlfriend.

Prompt: Commitment

Word Count: 2003

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @melodyofgraves @bhavf @abunchofbadchoices @silverhawkenzie @begging-for-kamilah @kennaxval @strangerofbraidwood @crazypeanat @desiree-0816 @universallypizzataco

_________________________

"Hmpf"

Jess tossed and turned in the sheets as the light of a new sunny day hit her eyes. She blinked twice before finally resolving to open them. She hugged the pillow and inhaled the familiar scent of her favourite chef. Amber and other spices she couldn't name but that her heart immediately recognised as her "Mira, my Mira". Still cherishing that thought, she smiled to herself and rolled to the side and her eyes fell on Mira's nightstand where she spotted a book she kept gushing over for months...she remembered talking about it on Skype with her chef too. But she never told her that she actually bought it.

Jess moved closer and propped herself on her elbow to have a better look. She bit her lip as she opened it and saw that Mira used an Hartfeld postcard as a bookmark. A smile immediately formed on her lips as she recognised it: she sent her when she went back to college after Katie's wedding. She still remembered that day. Nicole and Audrey drove her back there -the salsa soundtrack they sang along with the whole ride haunted Jess for weeks -and helped her settle down. As soon as they left, she stopped by a souvenir shop and bought a postcard portraying the university quad with smiling students passing by. She went back to her dorm room and started writing it right away. When she finished, she remembered looking over her shoulder and since her roomie was nowhere to be found, grabbing her own lipstick, putting it on and pressing a kiss on the lower side. She immediately laughed at the silly, corny gesture picturing Mira's reaction: her Michelin-starred chef would have certainly either laughed it off or rolled her beautiful dark eyes at it. She sent it the day after on her way to class, as her heart tightened thinking that she would have not been able to see her girlfriend for a while and she missed her so much already. The bookmark was way past the half of the book, signalling that Mira devoted her days off to it. As she put it down, she made a mental note to ask her about it.

She was about to get up when she noticed the photos sitting beside the book. She sat up on the edge of the bed and her heart fluttered once more. In the first one Mira was standing knee deep in the ocean hugging from behind a visibly head over heels Saru. They must have taken it during the Portugal trip Mira mentioned once, judging by the Portuguese writings on the little boy's baseball hat. The sunset was already turning the sky of a dark red but you could still see the bright smile on Saru's face as his mom kissed the top of his head. The other one was a picture of her and Mira iceskating when she visited over the winter break. Blake and Carter joined too for "a former Nomande staff reunion" and they had such a great day: they drank cider, ate Christmas cookies and reminisced their time together on the Ember of the Sea. Then they went iceskating and that's when Carter started taking pictures and selfies while recklessly sliding trough the crowd. He even fell over Blake in a bad attempt to catch a surprise shot of him: the two ruined to the ground but couldn't stop giggling afterwards. The shot Mira framed must have been a lucky one: oblivious of the camera, they were just skating hand in hand smiling tenderly to each other. As if no one else was there, only the two of them.

Jess threw one last glance to the nightstand before moving to the bathroom to get a shower. When she was done, she headed to the kitchen following a mouthwatering lead.

"Goodmorning, sleepyhead"  

Mira greeted her with a smile behind the kitchen counter.

"Eggs Benedict ready in...five" she announced, checking her watch as Jess wrapped her arms around her waist and nuzzled her shoulder.

"You were already up when I woke up"

"Yep, because in case you haven't noticed, you slept in this morning" Mira gave her an amused look. "But you have every right to do so: you're a graduate, now!"

"It still feels so unreal..."

"Blake called earlier, work stuff you know...but he asked me to tell you once more that he's so proud of you" the chef turned and place a kiss on the top of Jess's head. "We're all so proud of you, baby"

"Thanks, it means a lot" Jess said as her cheeks started reddening.

She had never felt so supported and appreciated since she met the Nomade crew. And of course, Mira. They all had a rocky start but as they got to know each other, they became the best friends -and girlfriend- Jess could have ever asked for. Her family was supportive too but it took them a while to realise that she was more than bubbly reckless Jess. Blake, Carter and Mira were probably the first not to see her as the stereotypical party girl: she was their colleague, Jess "the waitress" to them when they first met. Then she became responsible hardworking Jess and it felt...just natural. As if somewhere they inside they trusted her - or so Jess loved to think, it didn't have to be necessarily true - to be more than just another troublemaker who forgot she wasn't a teen anymore. Just like Katie, Alex and Nicole thought for well, basically her whole life or so they made Jess believe. Probably, all "the party twin" needed was a little bit of trust, someone finally believing in her, someone believing that she had potential. Jess was eternally grateful to Nana for that: she was the first to see that spark in her. The only one in the famiy, to be honest.

"How's Blake doing? I should give him a call too later" Jess changed the topic to break free from that train of thoughts.

"Oh he's good! He -pass me two plate, sweetheart, the eggs are ready- he was telling me about this new idea for the menu. He discovered a new family recipe and wanted to share it to see if we can make something out of it. He thinks that it could make a good entrée and I must say I'm not against it" Mira explained, serving their brunch.

They moved to the terrace and took a seat at the table. They talked about the restaurant's slow yet steady success that made Mira and Blake have high hopes for the future, of Carter joining a new dance crew and of Saru's latest obsession with sharks and any merchandise item related to them: underwear, books, scale models, movies... Mira asked Jess about her upcoming internship in San Francisco at Lean Myers's magazine: Jess didn't think she would actually agree to have her when she contacted her, she did it out of admiration for the former film critic: her reviews on FilmBuzz always gave her the best movie advice ever.

Jess's phone suddenly beeped and she chuckled as she checked it.

"It's Alex" Jess giggled.

"What does he say?" Mira asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Tons of desperate emoji. It's getting worse with emoji lately...and...oh he's saying he's the worst brother ever cause he hasn't sent me the graduation gift he bought with Elena yet"

Jess smiled weakly at the phone.

"He said that he's so sorry that they couldn't make it to the graduation ceremony. It...it doesn't matter actually. They didn't have to worry about that and the gift, they're so busy..."

"No, he's right " Mira agreed, taking the last sip of her coffee. "Not about being the worst sibling ever maybe but his message reminds me that I have a thing for you"

Then she flashed Jess a smile and stood.

"Follow me" she said, offering her her hand.

Jess obliged and Mira led her back to her bedroom. She stopped on the threshold and turned to her girlfriend, who was looking around quizzically.

"Open the closet, Jess" Mira said, gently stroking her hair.

Jess gave her a confused look as she leaned at her touch but the look in her girlfriend's eyes only spoke of tender devotion.

She walked to the closet and opened it. To her surprise, since the last time she visited, Mira's clothes now took only half of it and half of the drawers were empty. In the first one she noticed a small envelope.

Jess gaped and turned to Mira who was leaning on the doorstep now and just nodded to signal her to proceed.

Jess opened it and a set of keys fell into her hands.

"Mira, what-" Jess covered her mouth with her free hand in surprise.

Mira moved closer and hugged her from behind. She placed a kiss on her temple before sighing and speaking again:

"I know we never really talked about it and I'm not asking you to move here with me right now, I know you're gonna start your internship in San Fransisco soon...but I don't want you to be just a visitor here. I missed you terribly when we parted and you left for school. It made me understand that I want you by my side. One day: you're starting your career and I don't expect it to happen in a week or a month, I want you to follow your dreams wherever they take you but I also want you to know that this is not only my place anymore. It can be yours too, it is yours too, no matter what. We decided to make it official, right?" a shy smile formed on her lips. "It just made sense to me: you'll be looking for a place to stay after your internship or maybe during holidays...just know that you can call this home, love"

Jess turned in her arms to look into Mira's eyes only to find the affection and adoration her favorite chef showed her more than once already. She didn't have to think twice: she threw her arms around her neck and pulled Mira in for a hard kiss as her eyes welled with happy tears. After the initial surprise, she returned it letting her hands slide oh Jess' hips.

When they parted, Jess buried her face in the crook of Mira's neck.

"Is that a yes?" the older woman laughed nuzzling her hair.

"Yes, ten thousand time yes! This...this is the best graduation gift ever. The best gift I have ever received in my whole life, Mira. I...I love you"

"I love you too"

"I just don't get it...why an hamburger? It doesn't sound like you" Jess asked, nodding to the keychain.

"You didn't figure it out, did you, graduate?" Mira teased her smirking.

"Hey, I earned my degree!" Jess protested.

Mira laughed softly.

"One day back at the Normade you told me to serve hamburgers instead of the dishes Blake and I put on the menu. You literally shocked me but in the end you were right: the clients were happy and returned the day after willing to try more complex food combinations. I learnt a thing from you that night and well, I may be studying a new addition to our restaurant's menu: I want to make an hamburger everyone would eat but special, experimental, something unique. I promise that you will try it before everyone else so you can tell me what you think. If it's not too corny, I would love to dedicate it to you"

"You really want to make me cry again, huh?" Jess embraced her again, making Mira smile softly as a he stroke Jess's back.

"Oh and that way we can have matching key chains. Well, almost" she added.

"You have an hamburger keychain too?" Jess gaped, not expecting anything like that.

"Oh no, mine has two charms: the Eiffel Tower and a bottle of champagne, but I would love to add a little hamburger" she giggled.

[shyanlibrary]

My boyfriend just broke up with me, could you recommend some fanfics to cheer me up? Thanks!

I’m very sorry, sweetheart. Here’s a fluff and comedy list (no angst):

And Longer If I Can by poetdameron

Summary: After Shane makes an "odd" question, Ryan can't stop thinking about the possible implications of it, obsession over the one conclusion most likely to (not) be: Shane is breaking up with him sometime soon.

Rated: T

Commentary: I wrote this one, so here’s a comment in it: “Oh my god!! I’m crying this was so intense and so sweet! That was the cutest [SPOILER] I’ve ever heard of and I loved how you really managed to build up the suspense so eventhough the audience knows it would be something like a proposal it was still tense and interesting leading up to it. Love your fics!”

under the stars by sincerelyleah

Summary: “I promised myself I would never fall in love with you. But it was four am, and we were laughing way too hard. I felt happy for the first time in a long time, and I knew I was screwed.”

Rated: G

Commentary: A sweet something you will be glad to have read once you are done. I loved it, it’s so sweet and warm, it makes me truly happy.

don’t you (forget about me) by ghostwheeze

Summary: Shane and Ryan are in love. There’s a proposal.

Rated: G

Commentary: Like I said before, I’m a sucker for proposals and this fic is just— it has a twist to it that is gonna make you scream. I love it.

Just The Thought Of His Touch (My Mind Explodes) by poetdameron

Summary: Ryan has the perfect height for forehead kisses, so what else can Shane do but kiss him?

Or, five times Shane kissed Ryan's forehead and one time Ryan kissed him first.

Rated: T

Commentary: I wrote this one, so here is a comment on it: “This is so sweet! I was smiling the whole time with how cute they are and aaaah, the idea of Shane kissing Ryan's forehead is so warm and soft, it makes me all sappy and jelly. The last part is so cute, too. Ryan worried for Shane and making him promise to be not die! SO CUTE! I'm gonna read your other fanfic now!”

if we’re gonna do this, we gotta do it now by floatingonthelehigh

Summary: “How did you convince me to come here again?”

“My irresistible charm, of course.”

Ryan’s mouth settles into a hard line. He’s not wrong.

(Shane gets Ryan to come to an old abandoned house with him. One of them, and you’ll never guess who, gets more than a little freaked out. Featuring: pure terror! confessions of love! and a somewhat-terrifying framed photograph of a woman!)

Rated: T

Commentary: Pure, sweet, loving fluff. Ryan gets a little angry at Shane but he deserves it, but at the end everything is right. I love this fic.

you want a piece of my heart (you better start from the start) by doctorkaitlyn

Summary: No Summary (Shyan College AU stories)

Rated: E

Commentary: Such a sweet AU. I’m not big on College Aus, but this one won my heart with how charming and original it is. I love the first fanfic, and the other two are just as lovely and warm. 

mystery item by rycan_toucan

Summary: ” – okay. remember last week when you, jen, steven and i went drinking and i had, like, eight and a half shots of whiskey?“

“i specifically remember the half, yes.”

“impressive. anyway, i ended up not passing out when i got home and did some high quality online shopping, instead.”***

ryan bought a thing, they both find it extremely funny and have a good time.

Rated: T

Commentary: The boys are so silly and happy in this little thing, oh my God, I’m smiling as I remember this fic.

 the proposal(s) by ghostwheeze

Summary: Two times Shane and Ryan pretended to propose and one time it was real.

Rated: G

Commentary: I tagged this as “chicken soup for the soul” because that’s what it is. It’s so cute and fluffy. I love it.

gayer than expected by juniperprose

Summary: Ryan sees Shane in his new glasses, and realizes that he may be less straight than he originally thought.

Rated: G

Commentary: NFNFINEIFRO, this one is so funny. I mean, just look at the title. Also, juniperProse is one of the best authors out there, you are gonna love this one.

i would like that by crimsonflowerz

Summary: The third person who knew Ryan was trans was the ghost that haunted his apartment.

Rated: T

Commentary: This one fanfic is the sweetest thing I’ve read and I love my boys so much in it. Ryan is precious and wonderful, and so damn relatable, while Shane is just– amazingly sweet and protective. Honestly, the way the author wrote them has me crying still and I’ve read this wonder a million times by now.

the lube fic by inkstainsonmyhands

Summary: Someone sends Ryan a 55-gallon drum of lube, and Shane finds a good use for it.

Rated: Not rated (M, I think)

Commentary: Like I have said before, Joey is the best and he always gives us the best content. This one is hot and funny. Also, it’s in his oneshots anthology, Between a Crucifix and the Hollywood Sign. This fic is so much fun… and has daddy kink, though.

por favor, sweetheart by carrieonfighting

Summary: Two dorks raise a baby and don’t even realise they’re doing it together until it’s too late

Alternatively, Ryan Bergara is Trying His Best Thanks

Rated: T

Commentary: This adorable fic made me so happy when I first read it, I want everyone to feel the same way. Boy, this is perfect. I really like this author’s narrative and POVs, this is strong writing at its best, and I really hope you enjoy it.

unsolved by areneecz

Summary: The fluff-fueled antics of Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej.

Rated: M (but not really, is like T)

Commentary: OH THIS ONE. It’s so good, so pure, so cute. Shane calls Ryan “sweetheart” and I just fucking MELTED.

seasonal affective (but you affect me more) by cactsu

Summary: Shane finds and calls a stranger’s number during a drunken night of looking through a phone book. Definitely an odd decision to make on his part, but it’s probably the best decision he’s ever made.Maybe this Christmas won’t suck so much after all.

Rated: G

Chapters: 4/6

Commentary: One of the most charming and wonderfully written AUs I’ve read in this fandom, with amazing characterization and dialogues. Shane’s POV is wonderful and the dialogue just perfect. I love this fic.

things you said in the moonlight. by idkspookystuff

Summary:  Ryan invites Shane to spend the night, only he hasn’t told his boyfriend he’s transgender yet.orryan’s trans, he gets his period, and shane loves him despite everything.

Rated: T

Commentary: Such a sweet little fanfic that I love with all my heart. Trans Ryan AU, he and Shane had just started to date and everything is cute.

perfect by skepticseptic

Summary: They knew there was something going on between them. It was only a matter of time before one of them made a move.

Rated: G

Commentary: PURE, BEAUTIFUL, SOFT, FLUFF. You are going to die happy reading this one, I mean– it’s so beautiful and also based on one of my favorite songs in the world.

what’s the point of this again? by touchinghearts

Summary: When Ryan invites Shane back for a holiday week to meet his family during a big reunion, it doesn’t even occur to Shane that it could be a big deal.

Rated: T

Commentary: One of my favorite fanfics in the entire fandom. It’s heartwarming and portrays the best of all worlds Ryan’s multiple cultures have. It also has the wonder of having them in one of the best ways I have seen their relationship writen with one of the best endings overall. It’s a really sweet fic, everyone should read it.

keep you like an oath by spoopyy

Summary: "I’m in love with you,” Ryan says, desperate.

“No, you’re in love with the views.”

Rated: Not rated. (I’d say T)

Commentary: I’m all for fake dating and this fic is the only one that has actually explore this sort of AU in the fandom. It’s a lot of fun to read and Shane’s feelings are so intense, when Ryan has the realization that he has feelings for Shane is just– so good. All of it is amazing. This author, man. I’m so sad they aren’t posting anymore because their fics are some of the best in the whole fandom.

Unsolved Coffee Crimes by NightWinds

Summary: Ryan works at Unsolved Coffee Crimes, a café that specializes in not only coffee, but also crime solving!

Rated: G

Commentary: Beautiful piece right here! It has such a fun and cute concept in it, one of the best plots, and it escaltes quickly. Shane is just wonderful in this, I loved him with all my heart and just– this fic is really beautiful.

the supernatural’s not out to get you by kathakoito

Summary: Shane is cthulhu. Ryan’s a skeptic.

Rated: G

Commentary: Listen, I bookmarked this fic at AO3 as “WHEN TENTACLES ARE CUTE” and that’s all you need to know about it. This is one of my favorite fics in the fandom.

i think i’m still turning out by the_tenerife_sea

Summary: Shane is starting to think Ryan is using him for his baby, considering how much he’s already talked her up to all of their coworkers and friends.

____

Or the one where Shane is a new parent, and Ryan is always there for him (and his daughter, of course).

Rated: T

Commentary: This is actually part of a series, a good one if you may. It’s fluffy and it shows the good and bad of having a child, especially when one is not prepared. I’m not all that okay with the way Sara was writen, but it’s part of the story to some degree. Other than that, the truth is that it’s well writen and it’s sweet.

the holiday by anotherlostblogger

Summary: Up-and-coming LA producer Ryan Bergara and NY Times food columnist Steven Lim are both unlucky in love and eager to get away from their hometowns for Christmas. When they do a house-swap for the holiday season they might find more than they had initially expected.

HOO BOY everyone strap yo'selves in and get ready for the 2006 romcom mashup of your life.

Rated: M

Chapters: 11/12

Commentary: The Holiday is one of my favorite movies in the world, and this fic is based on it. A literal romcom! With two of my favorite ships! (shyan and standrew)! I need you to read this asap and be free of sadness, this is one of the cutest most warmest fics out there.

Like Sugar by poetdameron

Summary: Sunday mornings were never interesting, so Shane was totally not expecting a half naked guy sleeping on his couch, changing his every day just by existing.

Rated: T

Commentary: I wrote this one, from a comment on it: “This is adorable, they're so smitten and dorky and awkward when they realize they really want to go for it, and Ryan using the sugar excuse to finally move things along cracked me up. What goofs

something a demon would say by east (westage)

Summary: Ryan wants to prove that Shane is a demon, and/or an alien, and Shane just wants to ask Ryan out on a date.

“The jig is up, Shane Madej! I know what you really are!”

Rated: G

Commentary: This fic has one of my favorite endings of all time. It’s fun and funny, and characterization is wonderful. Also, Shane has a not-so-secret crush on Ryan and it’s adorable.

Do You Take This Man by touchinghearts

Summary: Ryan’s new favourite nickname for Shane is ‘husband’.

Rated: G

Commentary: Beautiful fic! A small piece with the purest, most wonderful fluff. Ideal for when shit is going down and you just need to smile a little. Also, great narrative and dialogues.

conflict of interest by spoopyy

Summary: Shane is a high school science teacher who really hates his job. He bumps into a passionate, but lonely history teacher named Ryan, who just might make teaching worth it.

Rated: Not rated.

Commentary: In this AU, Ryan and Shane are both teachers, and is the literal best thing in the world. A complete feel better fic, chicken soup for the soul, that doesn’t fall in the category of fluffy and simple. No, it’s so much more. It’s beautiful. It explores an actual relationship between adults and how two people fall in love as they get to know the other better.

fresh eyes by inkstainsonmyhands

Summary: Soulmate au where when you reach 18 you stop aging until you meet your soulmate? After a few years of being roommates (they were roommates through college and then just moved in together afterwards) shane and Ryan realize they’ve been slowly aging together (Bonus points if one of them realizes first and has to bring it up to the other person)

Rated: T

Commentary: This soulmate AU is such a cute little thing, I love it. It’s like a bunch of wonderful tropes in one well written and perfect fic.

mausoleum by ghostwheeze

Summary: How about…. Ryan and Shane are stuck in a room for some reason (Maybe the doorknob broke off…?) And Ryan is absolutely terrified. The sexual tension has been high between the two for a while and so Shane decides… fuck it, and does something to distract Ryan ;)

Rated: T

Commentary: This fic has something… something that makes me love it, and I’m sure you are gonna love it, too. It’s so good and hot, even if they are just— not doing... you know what, and yeeeeet. I love it.

maybe, kinda by babbyspanch

Summary: Ryan is having a tough day. Okay, tough week. Alright it’s been a tough few months but he’s got it handled okay? He’s handed over the editing of Unsolved to a team and now… well he’s still distracted, but he’s trying.

But, Shane just makes it really hard to focus.

Rated: G

Commentary: Such a sweet fic, man. I love the fluff in this… and the pining!

not-so spooky stuff by boysandghouls (blindedbythetomlinsun)

Summary: There’s a guy here. Shane has no clue if he works here or not, but, like, oh my god.

He’s scared. Of the animatronics.

“Now’s not a good time,” the guy snaps, but it’s hard to take him seriously when he flinches every time the motion-sensitive robots start to move.

“Just leave the corner,” Shane suggests, still chuckling at the sight.

“I don’t know how!” the man protests, yelping as one of the robots brushes against his shoulder. He immediately makes a beeline for Shane, staying at his side.

“What do you mean, you don’t know how?” Shane parrots incredulously.

or: Shane and Ryan accidentally get locked inside a Spirit Halloween after-hours.

Rated: G

Commentary: Shane’s POV in this fic is wonderful, It may be my favorite in thew hole fandom. He is so damn funny, and it melts so well with the story, it’s incredible. The dialogues here are great, too, especially because the characterization is very loyal to their actual voices. The plot is original and just fun. You gotta read it.

me and you by saturninemartial

Summary: “Have you ever thought about getting married?”“That’s a loaded question if I ever heard one.”“Never mind, forget I said anything.”

Rated: M

Chapters: 2/2

Commentary: The start of a series I’m very interested in. This lovely fic has all I love in my fluff: love, cuteness, marriage proposals and sweet lovemaking.

and i’m puffing my chest, getting red in the face by pissedofsandwich

Summary: “Zack’s going to be there?“ Shane asks, masking his… whatever it is he’s feeling in his chest, with nonchalance.

Ryan blinks. “Yes?”

Well, never mind dancing with the fucking sun. He’s Icarus, wings melted and falling face-first into the asphalt.

Or: Shane is definitely not at all jealous of how close Zack and Ryan are getting during the making of Sports Conspiracies. Except that he is.

Rated: T

Commentary: One of my favorite fanfics that also has jealous!Shane and one of the most funniest climax ever. All their co-workers are damn angels, you gotta read this, it’s incredible. Also, kudos to poor Zack having the rage of a jealous Shane Alexander Madej with a cup of coffee in his hands.

Thursday: Turquoise Taupe by shaniacbergara

Summary: Shane Madej’s hometown is…well, a little bit different than most. He and Ryan take a trip there.

Rated: G

Commentary: One of my favorite fics in the fandom. It has an original idea and it’s the first with this crossover that inspired a lot of fun things during the week it was posted. And as for the story, I really like the way Shane and Ryan’s relationship is writen, and how important it is to Shane that Ryan knows where he is from, and his family. The end of this fic is one of my favorites. Enjoy!

breathe out so i can breathe you in by trxshmxuth

Summary: They’ve been tiptoeing around each other for months now, walking on ice so thin that Ryan can practically see the sexual tension swirling and raging underneath. Ryan’s almost afraid that when the ice finally cracks, he’s not going to be able to resurface again.

On their next Unsolved investigation, the ice breaks.

Rated: M

Commentary: Another kinda cute smut fic that I love. I can’t say much because it’s short os you gotta read it, I’m just gonna say– it’s nice. Also, arousal from fear is something… that happens. I love it.

kiss me like you mean it by rocketshiptospace

Summary: “Hi,” Tall man says, taking in the sight in front of him. “I’m sorry, I heard banging and yelling and I just, are you okay?”

“No. Yes. Maybe,” Ryan says, slowly standing back up on two legs again. “My door won’t open.” He eventually ads, when him and Tall man have just stared at each other for a few seconds.

“That’s unfortunate,” Tall man says, smiling at him. He has a really nice smile. “But it happens. It’s an old building, you know. Doors get stuck sometime. Here, let me try,” He steps past Ryan, and places his hand on the door handle. The door swings open like it’s nothing.

or, Ryan’s apartment building plays matchmaker

Rated: G

Commentary: I second this rec. This is such a wonderful AU, so sweet and fluffy, and interesting with this idea that the building they live in is, in fact, kind of alive. And ships them. Yes, a building is all of us. And man– just the situations they are put through, it’s all so good. Incredibly sweet. The ending is wonderful, I love it.

a short history of almost something by cooliohoolio

Summary: "I think I’ll wait another year.“

Shane’s in love with Ryan, and will get around to telling him. One of these days.

Rated: Not Rated (G)

Commentary: This fic is… so damn cute. All of it. The scenes with them out in the grass, looking at the stars, are wonderful. It’s really a cute thing to read for when you are in a bad moment.

~ On tumblr only:

shyan dressed up as skysolo for halloween by @ghostwheeze - Commentary: This whole fic is cute and funny as hell. Also, Steven’s costume is everything.

trans ryan wants a baby by @faequill​ - Commentary: THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS IN THE WORLD. I love it so much, it’s wonderful.

shane has a question for ryan by @en-sam-malas- Commentary: Oh my God, this is one of the cutest things I’ve ever read! It made me all giggly and red. 

[partyatmyhaus]

I don't believe in God, but I believe in this shit

6,000 words of trans!Matt. My b?

READ IT ON Ao3

He knows from the second he reads the definition online, that there’s a reason he feels the way he does- and he’s not weird. He bookmarks the page, even though he knows by heart how to find it again, and he buries the link under a fake title in a bookmarks tab he uses for school stuff- and only opens it when no one else is home.

It’s his secret.

-

[Whenever he closes the tab, he tries to ignore the stabbing feeling of that he’s lost something somehow].

-

The first person he ever tells is his mom. And it’s nothing remarkable- nothing planned but it’s not an accident. It’s over two years since he finds the definition, and it’s just her and him in the kitchen- she’s making dinner while he’s providing her some company. And he makes a split second decision to tell her. He’s going to to college next year, and he feels like it’s a now or never situation.

“I’m a guy.”

-

He knows her mom tells her dad that night, he can hear the frustrated yelling through the walls. The confused whisper/shouting match back and forth. He presses himself up against his wall as tight as he can- he clutches his stuffed dog, the one his aunt brought him for his first birthday- and he listens.

“What do we do, Mary?” After a long while of silence, he hears his dad sigh being followed by the sound of two bodys sitting on the couch.

“We support our baby, George.”

-

He stays the weekend with his aunt, and when he comes home his closet is basically empty of all the dusty dresses and skirts- and when he goes into the living room to ask, he finds his mom reading the newspaper while his dad watches the game.

“What happened to my closet?” He asks standing in the doorway, it’s been a weird few weeks- and he can’t help but internally start to panic that they’re emptying his stuff out because they’re going to kick him out. That this is the last leg so to speak.

His mother doesn’t look up from her newspaper article as she replies, “You were never going to wear them so i gave them to Darla. Her daughter is about your size, besides she is struggling a little bit- why not help out?”

He goes to leave the room- before he starts crying honestly, but he lingers for a moment before saying,

“Thank you.”

-

Right after school gets out for Christmas break, his mom and dad take him out- telling him that they wanted the company while going to get groceries.

They end up at a barber- the one he recognizes that his dad goes too- and before he can ask his mom what’s going on, she’s halfway out of the car saying,

“Your hair is getting a little long, don’t you think?”

He leaves with a men #7, and honestly- it feels like he can breathe a bit better.

-

He get’s his first binder for Christmas. It comes from his Aunt, and it’s not wrapped or under the tree- she instead has him follow her out to her car, and she hands it to him with a wink and then vanishes back into the party.

He opens it in his room, and he sits on the floor- just touching it for a long time.

-

He wears his binder for the first time, on the second day back to school. Between everyone focusing on his hair being short, and the large sweater he wears, it’s probably not noticeable to anyone-

Anyone but him.

-

The summer after his Junior year ends- he gets placed on Testosterone-Hormones. And by the end of the summer, there are changes- little ones but there are changes.

The biggest one being the little bit of darkening peach fuzz on his face; (he spends 30 minutes doing a dance in his bathroom for a little bit after he notices it).

Over the summer himself and his parents start the process of getting his name changed. And the only reason it happens is because one night he cries to his mother for an hour rambling about how he didn’t want his diploma to say ‘that other name’ .

-

The new semester starts and he thinks that everyone (With the exception of like 2 people) think he’s a new student- not the same kid they’d all gone to school with sense Pre-K.

-

[Of course people start to figure it out and there is one incident that still haunts him. He had been in the locker room- putting his shoes back on, when two guys he vaguely remembers from his 3rd period seem to appear out of nowhere.

He never tells his mom how he got the black eye or why his shirt was ripped right down the middle.

And he never shows the bruises around his ribs and forearms- from where he was shoved to the floor and violently kicked for over an hour].

-

A couple weeks after that he makes friends with a group of people from his Spanish class.

-

[Within two weeks of making his new ‘friends’ he finds out it was a bet- placed by the kids from his 3rd period. A bet to see who could befriend him the fastest].

-

By graduation, he’s starting to feel really comfortable. Overall he’s got more hair- and his voice is much deeper than before.

And, to everyone’s joy, his diploma doesn’t say the wrong name.

-

The summer before college, his aunt comes to him and offers to pay for a mastectomy- telling him she has talked to his parents and that if he wants to do it- now would be the best time. Not missing school, being able to be cared for.

-

He gets his mastectomy a week after his birthday.

When he wakes up, his chest feels so light- he cries.

-

College starts and his professors call out the right name in class on the first day, and he feels really really good.

-

He ends up roommate-less for about a month, before a girl moves in. He comes back from class to his door half open and a girl in his room, currently putting sheets on the previously unoccupied bed. She offers a wide smile when she notices him.

“The school told me why no one wanted to room with you, and that’s fucking stupid. Anyways- I’m Jess.”

-

Jess introduces him to her friend Adam, and they hit it off right away. After about 2 months of hanging out about non-stop, he thinks that he should have been more surprised when Adam kisses him. When Adam cuts off his ramble about this seasons baseball picks and leans across the couch and cups his face and kisses him. He could be surprised.

But he isn’t and he doesn’t stop himself from kissing back.

-

Their first date is in some shitty arcade where Adam is better at everything, and by the end of it- Adam uses all the tickets he collected and gets a small green bear (which Adam ends up leaving for him on his dresser table).

-

They go on another date about a week later, they go see some shitty movie; they’re the only ones in the whole theater so they make commentary the entire time and Adam laughs so hard his face is bright red.

Adam spends the last 35 minutes of the movie, slowly and gently moving his hand into his. Slowly slotting their fingers together- and never once looking at him. As if he was trying to play it cool (the thought makes him laugh).

By the end of the movie they walk out of the theater still hand in hand.

It’s a wonderful date.

-

Two months into dating, he tells Adam- only because he feels he has too (like dating him has a disclaimer, and he was obligated to tell Adam).

Adam takes the news with a smile and a gentle laugh, and tells him later that before Jess introduced them, she had told him (along with threatening him, “ If you make him sad Kovic, I’ll fucking kill you. He’s so nice, so don’t be a dick. ”)

-

He finds himself falling in love with his dork of a boyfriend pretty fast, and by the time their 6 month anniversary rolls around- he just knows. He can’t explain how he does, but he just knows.

He can feel it settle deep into the pit of stomach as he watches Adam laugh so hard some of his beer comes out of his nose- and he just knows .

He knows Adam is his person.

-

Adam drops out of college later that year, and instantly Adam seems more cheery- it makes him glad. School had been weighing on Adam and he had hated seeing him so tired and empty all the time.

Around that time he and Adam have sex for the first time. They’ve been dating for a year and a half at that point, and god bless Adam Kovic because he must ask him at least 100 times, “ Are you okay?” “Are you alright?”

He is very okay, and very much so alright.

-

[After they’re cleaned up and settled into bed- limbs criss-crossed and their body’s are sweaty and heavy, he says it- out into the air.

‘I love you, Adam.’ And he isn’t disappointed when he gets a kiss to the top of his head and he can feel Adam’s smile.

‘I love you, too.’]

-

[[He sleeps better than he ever has that night]].

-

He graduates that fall; he tries to hide is disappointment when the only family members who show up are his mother, father and aunt.

-

He gets a job for Adult Swim, an assistant editor for one of their shows, and he hates it instantly. He tries to stay positive, he knows how hard it is to get a job out of college so he tries to remain calm and not let everything bother him.

-

Adam spends the next year gently offering him a job at Machinima (which he always just smiles at and shakes his head at).

-

The next time he actually tells someone is years later, after he’s been in Robot Chicken editors hell for about 4 years when Adam ‘invites’ him out to lunch and when he gets to restaurant- Adam is nowhere to be seen, but Bruce is at a table- waving him over.

And the only reason he tells Bruce, wonderful Bruce who’s offering him a job, is because he feels like he has a disclaimer. Like he has too- like if he doesn’t he’s a liar.

And Bruce, wonderful friendly Bruce, just smiles at him and tells him ‘I don’t give a shit whatever you’ve got going on under your pants- as long as you can do your job’.

-

He leaves Robot Chicken later that month.

-

The first major negative reaction he receives in his adult life- is within his first month of being with Machinima. [Of course he’s had negative reactions, but never one on this scale].

The office Christmas party is in full swing and he feels like he’s the only sober person in the entire room (he doesn’t mind being the designated driver- honestly he feels more at peace knowing his friends will get home safe).

He is sitting at the booth- all of his friends on the floor dancing. The party isn’t at the office but at some bar, close enough to the office that most people had just walked over instead of even trying to move their cars.

He’s been sat by himself for a while now, content just to watch as Lawrence bullies Joel into doing body shots- and he finds himself laughing when Sean ends up out doing all of them.

About the time the party is in full swing a couple of guys he recognizes that work in the little space just outside of ‘The Joel Hole’, and he knows they’re drunk.

“Hey there, Rebecca.”

And it’s something out of a movie the way his body tenses up, and his blood runs cold and no one has called him by that name in years. That name is dead, that person is dead.

“Aw, gonna cry like the little girl you are?” And he can’t breathe but between the two guys and him he can’t leave. They won’t let him. His heart feels heavy, and the entire world feels like the moment in-between being thrown into the air and hitting the pool water.

“Everyone in the office knows, you know. Why you think they’re your friends is beyond me.” Jackass A says, and he’s about 2 seconds away from crying- but they don’t stop. They don’t care about him. He doesn’t even care about how they know- he just wants them to leave. That must show on his face because then they’re laughing even louder.

“Yeah, it’s funny!” Jackass 2 says laughing, his beer sloshes and a bit hits the table, “We all get together and laugh at how funny it is that you think they tolerate you- let alone like you.”

The three disappear after that, and so does he.

-

He emails their boss- Not Bruce or Adam, he goes even higher up than that, and he cashes in a week of ‘personal’ time off.

He ignores the calls and texts from everyone- and he feels terribly, terribly guilty for leaving them all at the bar alone- but can’t bring himself to answer the phone.

(Honestly, deep down, he can’t bring himself to feel the guilt- feel anything really).

He spends the entire week in his apartment, curled up next to his bed (he’s not worth enough to lay on the bed).

-

By the 4th day, he can hear Adam and Lawrence pounding on his door, yelling for him to open up. It’s only after they threaten to call the landlord (and then the police) that he grabs his phone and sends them a text message- not proof read and shaky- but he sends it.

11:24 AM

To: Adda-Boi, Larr

MSG:

Imm fine, pleasd leave before my neighbors compain

-

[They leave 10 minutes later, and he pretends to not hear the cracking in Adam’s voice.]

-

He comes back to work the next Tuesday, and acts as if nothing is wrong. As if he doesn’t know.

They never really liked him, he was just a source of entertainment.

A joke.

-

[He pretends that doesn’t hurt as badly as it actually does].

-

He breaks up with Adam a week later. He shows up at Adam’s apartment at 10 PM, crying and it takes him about 30 minutes to get it out but he does. It comes out rushed, and not planned like he had rehearsed it to be, but he knows Adam hears him.

He leaves Adam, silently crying on the couch.

-

Life becomes a cycle after that.

Wake up. Go to work. Ignore everyone. Come home. Drink. (And if he’s feeling real crazy at some point in his schedule he’ll find time to eat).

-

After a month of the breakup, it seems as if everyone has given up on him- no one seems to try to take him to lunch or ask him what’s wrong. No one pats him on the back, or gives him random hugs. No one texts him anymore and it should make him feel better but it doesn’t.

He misses them, he misses Adam. Oh, God, does he miss Adam.

But he enjoys knowing that he’s ruined their entertainment- that he’s ruined the running gag.

He’d rather be alone and sad than blissfully happy and the butt end of their jokes.

-

He learns the names of the jackasses from the bar- Colin and Brett. And the only reason he comes to learn their names is because their boss (the big one) pairs him up to help them with a new show. For the next 8 weeks, he’s on loan to the dickheads and not going to be anywhere near Inside Gaming.

-

After 5 weeks, he just can’t take it anymore. He starts doing stupid shit- it starts by accident but then he doesn’t want to start.

He picks up a pan from the stove without an oven mit- and makes himself feel the pain for a good 3 seconds before dropping it back down.

He starts taking showers only if the water is either too hot or much too cold.

He eats only when the edges of his vision start going blurry

-

He starts to wish he was normal. That he could have been happy as a girl.

[He starts torturing himself by looking at old family photos- the ones from before he told his family.]

-

By the time the project ends and he’s back working with the Inside Gaming crew, he’s lost 20 pounds and he hasn’t slept in what feels like years. He knows he must look like shit because Sean just kind of looks at him his first day back and looks worried.

‘That’s not a look of worry that’s pity.’ His brain corrects and that’s how he finds himself glaring at one of nicest people he’s ever met at 7:45 in the morning. By the time Sean looks ready to talk to him, he’s turning around and heading to his desk- grumbling about edits.

-

It’s 3 months after the break up, and he’s still avoiding Adam. He knows Adam wants an explanation (All he had said that night was ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I can’t do this. Not to you’.)

But like all things, that comes to an end and by the end of the 3rd month Adam corners him and convinces him to talk to him.

“Not here. Not at work. But...I’ll come by after work? To your place?” And Adam looks so small and honestly so sad, he can’t stop himself from agreeing.

-

Adam comes by right from work- but Adam brings his favorite candy. And he feels like such a dick, why did this happen? Why couldn’t he be the person Adam deserved?

-

He ends up exploding, telling Adam everything- and he tries to ignore the sadness mixed with murder in Adam’s eyes as he asks who it was. Asks who did this.

“It doesn’t matter…” He trailes off and for the first time in 3 months Adma touches him, a gentle but firm grip of his wrist. He wants to cry even more now- he didn’t realize how much he missed touch until now.

“It does. It matters to me. Who was it?” And he tells him, and he doesn’t mean to start crying but he does.

He ends up tucked into Adam’s chest- telling him everything. The dysphoria, how he’s sorry he’s wrong , and that he wishes that he wasn’t fucked up because then they could be together. (He pretends he doesn’t hear Adam’s sniffles as he hugs him).

But Adam, strong Adam, just holds him and pets his hair until he falls asleep.

-

The next morning, he’s awake first- still tucked into Adam, a blanket half hazardly draped over both of them and he can’t stop himself from snuggling closer. And he tries to ignore the smile that creeps onto his face at the way Adam relaxes and lets him closer- like he always has.

-

When Adam comes into work the following Monday, he looks ready to murder. He tries to stop his leg from bouncing as he sees Adam gather Bruce and Lawrence.

He tries to calm down and actually get some work done, but soon enough the receptionist is sticking her head in the door and calling for him. He ignores the worried looks from Sean and Joel as he follows her to one of the conference rooms where inside of it sat Adam, Lawrence, Bruce on one side- and on the other side sitting Colin and Brett. At the head of the table sits their boss.

-

The meeting ends up being the beginning of the end because by the end of the month the seven of them (Joel, Lawrence, Bruce, Sean, James, Adam and himself)- end up joining the Roosterteeth family.

-

Things are starting to get better.

-

[He still sleeps beside his bed, on the floor. He can’t shake off the thought of not being worth it to sleep in it- so he just doesn’t].

-

He feels really stupid when he figures it out. He feels so ignorant for not noticing what had developed. But above all he feels really insignificant and out of place.

They’ve all been with Roosterteeth for months now, but it takes catching James and Sean and Joel making out/on top of each other in the kitchen for them to tell him that everyone (and he does mean everyone: Joel, Bruce, Lawrence, Adam, James, (James’ wife Elyse) and Sean) are in a polyamorous relationship.

A relationship that no one wanted to tell him about.

(He doesn’t know why it hurts as bad as it does).

He doesn’t remember what he says to that- he thinks he made his face go blank and then he just turned and started to walk away- but he doesn’t quite remember.

-

[He does, however, remember how he shoved his hands into the pockets of his outermost hoodie- because they were shaking. And he remembers how he packed up his stuff, ignoring how James yelled after him- offering to explain everything- he remembers shoving past him, laptop under his arm as he left the office. Ignoring the concerned questions of what happened and James’ explaining behind him.

He remembers driving to the wrong apartment, before in the moment remembering that he lives with Bruce now. He doesn’t remember driving to the new apartment, or getting inside.

He remembers being curled up beside his bed when Bruce and Lawrence had come inside. He remembers how Bruce pushed the door opened, and how it creaked oh so gently. He remembers Lawrence’s quiet whisper of, “ Oh, sweet boy , no .”

He remembers not talking to either of them, but instead- standing, and by using his body pushing them out of his room, and closing the door on them.

He remembers locking the door.]

-

The next morning he had woken up, moments before his alarm and tried to swallow the instant thought of, ‘ They all love each other- they really don’t need a freak like you around. ’

After getting dressed (wearing the loosest clothes he could find) and debating if he should or should not in fact go to work, (he ends up deciding he needed to go- his moral side winning) he opens his bedroom door for the first time since shutting it on Lawrence and Bruce.

And there they are. Each on a side of the frame, asleep hunched against the wall.

He wants to be mad at them, wants to be upset (and he still is, but it’s dwindled now). And he can’t help but laugh as he uses his foot to awaken Lawrence and the first sound out of the others mouth is a long groan.

“We’re gonna be late. You owe me coffee.” Is all he says when Lawrence looks up at him with a small smile, laced with concern (and maybe just a touch of hope). He smiles wider at the nod Lawrence gives him.

-

When they get into the office, he offers James a smile- but before anyone can say anything he’s at his desk, in full work mode.

-

This goes on for a couple of days. Him only speaking to them when he had a work related question, (and in the case with Bruce- anything rent/needing food related). And eventually- slowly- he starts to chime into their weird conversations.

-

Elyse joins the team and he wants to dislike her. To hate her even. But he can’t.

She’s amazing and he’s glad they all have someone like her.

-

[He wishes he had someone like her.]

-

No one brings up their relationship, and he’s silently glad for it. Even if he has caught them all playing grab-hand or sharing what they think are ‘secret’ kisses. (He ignores the pit of something he’s identified as ‘jealousy’ in his stomach- whenever he sees them).

-

It’s a boring Tuesday, when the office trembles a bit. It shakes his bobble head off the shelf behind him, and it flickers the power out momentarily- but it’s nothing major. (There are groans throughout the office at the loss of power- and therefore loss of unsaved work).

After a moment, almost everyone laughs it off. The lights and their computers coming back to the life. Everything seems undisturbed and normal. But he notices the way Sean hasn’t chimed in, no joke coming from the youngest corner of the room. He stands up from his seat at his desk and can see the white knuckles clutching the edge of the desk, and he drops his headphones onto the table with a soft ‘thud’ and moves quickly- he knows he’s gained some attention but he’s more concerned with the other male at the moment.

He stands to the side of Sean’s desk for a beat before gently calling out his name,

“Sean?” Being up close he can see the gentle tremor in Sean’s shoulders and the way his chest isn’t moving rhythmically like it should be. He can feel everyone now looking this way, he hears Lawrence and Adam both stand up in tandem.

He opens his mouth to call for him again, but a fire truck wails past the open window and it gathers the youngers attention.

“I don’t...I didn’t...I’m s-sorry.” He’s stuttering and it’s like Sean is trying to look at him but is more so looking through him. And, as true to his character, he acts without really thinking.

He gently pries Sean’s hands off the desk, and places them into his own. He crouches in front of him and offers the more sincere smile he can.

“No need to apologize.” He rubs the back of Sean’s hands with his thumbs, and not-so subtlety takes a deep breath (he’s grateful when Sean starts to mimic him). Sean still looks so scared and childlike that he can’t bring himself to walk away.

“Wanna sit with me on the couch? Maybe do a Reddit AMA?” He knows he’s said the right thing when Sean manages to actually look at him and gives a small nod.

(He also can see out of his peripheral vision, how everyone else seems to take a deep breath and relax again).

-

[Sean doesn’t let go of one of his hands the entire time they’re on the couch].

-

They all head out to go to Austin for RTX. They leave a week and half early, to record with Achievement Hunter and to be on the podcast. The flight out to Austin is pretty uneventful (minus the fact he hates flying and feels like he has a 2 hour long panic attack). By the time they get in the sky is dark, and there’s thunder in the distance and he feels some of the stress in his shoulders go.

He really does love Austin.

-

When they get to the hotel, they all take their room keys- he grabs the ones for Sean and him. He gives the spare to Joel- just in case and they all trudge upstairs, everyone being basically dead on their feet, and Matt unlocks the door and let’s Sean go in first and he doesn’t miss the squeak from the other man.

“Uh. There’s only one bed.” Is his oh-so-helpful observation, and he hears Sean’s laugh before he turned serious again,

“Do you mind? If you do I can go find one of the other guys…” And Sean looks so flustered it makes his heart do a flip and he somehow manages to say,

“It’s all good. This benefits me. You’re always warm, so I won’t have to break the heater trying to stay warm.” And he knows again he’s said the right thing because Sean laughs and mumbles something about ‘last time’.

-

[He throws a pillow at Sean for that.

“ Let bygones be bygones !”]

-

[They stay up watching movies, and ordering room service. He’s really glad they don’t have to go to work tomorrow.]

-

[[They fall asleep before he can really process that he’s in a bed]].

-

He wakes up to the sound of the door unlocking, followed by Joel singing and Bruce’s wheezing. It’s a moment later that he wakes up enough to realize he’s cuddling Sean. Moreso, spooning him. He’s got one arm tucked under Sean’s pillow and and other wrapped around the younger's waist. They’re both facing away from the door, and he opens his eyes just enough to see the sun gently falling in from the window and onto the bed right in front of Sean.

“Well.” Joel says, standing at the front of bed, and he looks at him with wide eyes.

“I didn’t-” He starts and goes to move but is caught off by Seans whine and the motion of Sean rolling over and grabbing the front of his shirt.

“It’s too early for this shit.” Sean says, and he wants to laugh- but he just got caught accidently cuddling with his best friends boyfriend.

He and Bruce just have a staring contest for a long moment before the sound of Joel’s phone camera snaps him out of it.

“The boys are gonna love thi-” And he wants to tell Joel ‘no’ but again Sean cuts him off before he can even begin speaking. Sean’s hands retwisting in the grab of the front of his shirt.

“Do you have scars on your chest?”

“Haven’t Adam or Bruce told you?” He looks up from Sean to Bruce where the other is offering what seems to be a sad-tired smile.

“No one outside of Adam and I know. We’ll never tell anyone unless you give up explicit permission to.” Bruce answers and it’s too early for this shit. Much too early for this, and is the room getting smaller or is it just him? And man he jokes about being too cold, but he’s freezing and what day is it because he can’t remember. And they never told anyone? He assumed they would have. Why didn’t they? And what was his hotel room number? Man, has Joel always been so tall? They didn’t tell anyone?

“You gotta breathe, babes.” Joel is crouched in front of him now, and oh he’s not curled up with Sean anymore, he’s instead now pressed against the headboard. Bruce is off to the side of him, hands outstretched and all his mind can think is

‘Bruce is safe. Bruce is safe. Bruce is safe.’

He ends up kind of just throwing himself into Bruce’s chest, he doesn’t really know how long he stays there, just rambling and letting Bruce hold him- but it’s long enough to where everyone else shows up, having wondered why the fuck they didn’t show up to breakfast.

“I’m really sorry. I’m sorry.” And he doesn’t know if he’s apologizing for cuddling Sean, or being a dick, or clinging to Bruce- all he knows is he’s sorry.

“No one is upset with you.” Is all Adam says, sitting beside them, rubbing his back. For some reason the gesture stirs something up in him.

“I missed you.” He doesn’t know why he says it- he blames the fact his brain is overdrive, despite being awake for an hour (at most), “I really miss you and I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” And it’s an innocent question, from James who is now sitting on the other end of the bed. (He doesn’t see the confused look everyone shoots James, and the gesture James gives back as a ‘lets see’.)

“I..I’m just sorry for everything.” And great now he’s crying. He’s crying into his boss/roommate/friends chest, while all of his co-workers/friends watch. And he can’t stop himself from rambling everything he’s been trying to ignore.

“I’m really sorry I made you guys feel like you had to hide your relationship from me. And I’m sorry for being jealous, I’m trying not to be. I’m really sorry for being so wrong. Different. I’m sorry for not being more. And I’m sorry for cuddling your boyfriend, I didn’t mean too- I swear. I’m really sorry, it just happened. And I’m sorry for freaking out, a lot just happened at once. And- and I just assumed you told everyone, and you hadn’t.” At the last statement he picks his head up and looks between Adam and Bruce- both of which have sandwiched him between them. And he feels his stomach hit the floor at the sight of Adam, his wonderful Adam, silently letting tears drip down his face- even if he is smiling.

“I’m sorr-” And he never gets to finish the sentence because Adam just grabs his face and kisses him. Just like their first kiss- him being mid-sentence and all. And, again, just like their first kiss- the world stops spinning out of orbit and he’s grounded. (He is however aware that he is still basically sitting in Bruce’s lap- but he can’t bring himself to care).

When Adam pulls away- with a soft smile on his face, all he can really manage to say is a very quiet,

“What?”

“We kind of love you, you idiot.” Is James’ helpful explanation, and suddenly the tense air is gone and they’re all laughing.

-

They end up order room service again, everyone finding a way to cram into the room (most of them on the bed)- and he tells them. He tells them the entire tale, from finding the definition to the fact he hasn’t slept in a real bed in nearly 7 months. He tells them details even Adam hadn’t heard before. Tells them about his aunt, and his surgery- he explains what dysphoria is and he explains what taking hormones is like. And by the end of it, everyone is nibbling away on the last bites of food in silence.

“I wasn’t kidding you know. We all do kind of love you.” James says, and it breaks the silence, “We’ve been flirting for months but that apparently doesn’t work. Because we make you share a room with the one person who swoons over you like a teenage girl and all it did was give you a panic attack.”

It’s the way James’ says it, lazy and confident that makes them laugh.

“Well,” He swallows his mouthful of food and looks up with a smile, “I, guess, love you guys, too.”

-

They wait until they get back to L.A. to go on a date, and it takes a while to figure one out but they do eventually and it’s amazing.

It’s at Joel’s apartment, they play the High School Musical drinking game, and have an amazing home cooked meal- made by Lawrence and Elyse and he’s finds himself properly relaxing- for what feels like the first time in years.

-

Somehow the fanbase finds out, and he has a bit of a meltdown. An understandable thing to experience when suddenly all of your social media is flooded with comments and that name . He actually ends up having to have Adam (and Elyse) drive him home, while Bruce does damage control. (Lawrence will tell him later, that someone on Reddit had been looking up their birth certificates at their job and stumbled across his).

Adam and Elyse both just cradle him as he shakes, he clings to them. He rambles as he explains what hearing that name does to him- and they both just listen, nodding and offering whatever help they can provide.

-

Within a week, it’s back to normal. There are still one or two comments here and there but for the most part it goes back to normal. He spends all of his time with someone else however, mostly per Adam and Bruce’s request- both of them knowing him too well, that knowing if he was alone long enough he’d backtrack real bad. (He can’t even be mad at that).

-

RTX Sydney comes around and it’s in the middle of the Dude Soup podcast (panel?) that someone asks ‘ Rebecca-’ and before he can even reply, Bruce is standing up (along with Elyse and Lawrence), looking pissed and almost snarling into the microphone,

“His name is Matt, motherfucker.”

-

[That night they push the two queen size beds in their hotel room together, and Matt doesn’t feel any guilt about sleeping in the bed surrounded by his lovers].

-

After they get back to LA his dad calls him to sort through his childhood relics and he finds his old computer- adding it into the bin of things to keep.

Later, he’ll open it and navigate back to the once secret bookmark and smile at it while he listens to his boyfriends argue over which Halo was better. And he’ll close to the page, without feeling like he’s lost anything.

-

trans·gen·der

transˈjendər,tranzˈjendər/

adjective

denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.

[amydiddle]

FanFic Appreciation Week

I feel like I am getting on this kind of late but I have excuses. But here are some great authors or some amazing fics that I have enjoyed and gone back for a few fandoms. I have a lot of stories from a lot of fandoms most Gravity Falls because I am currently obsessed with it right now so here we go:

Doctor Who: 

Those Who Help Us Most to Grow  by Crystal Rose of Pollux

They have written an amazing amount for the Second Doctor and Jamie McCrimmon and this is just a sample of some of their work. This is the story I always come back to when I need some Doctor and Jamie interaction. I suggest checking out all their works if you enjoyed some of these short stories

The Regenerations of The Doctor by  My Lord Doctor6735

I enjoyed this fic when I was seaching for a taste of every doctor. It is simple and sweet and that is what I enjoy about it most. 

Supernatural: 

These are the only four writers I will recommend in this fandom. They get the characterization more than the actual show writers do. 

Bring Him Back by A. Zap

This is a good short story that gets you right in the feels. 

The Collector by Aini NuFire

This person writes AMAZING works. This is the one that got me addicted to their writing. I recommend everything they have every written but please read this. It is feelsy and heart breaking and I love it so much. I may go re-read it. 

Forgotten by NorthernSparrow

Even if you hate this fandom I recommend reading this fic. It is amazing and heart wrenching and it really brings tears to your eyes. It also has companion pieces that go further into this universe and hardships. A Winter’s Tale also would be a good read for this writer. 

Family Matters by 29Pieces

Really put the conflicting emotions into you about John Winchester as a character and seems like something that could have happened on the show. 

Young Justice

Possession by  Ally Marton 

WARNING: Kidnapping, Emotional abuse, Stockholm Syndrome 

This fic really got me into loving Wally West and, more specifically, Wally West Whump. So much pain into this bright eyed speedster. This is my favorite fic I have found from his genre in the YJ fandom and I have re-read is a lot. 

In The Grave by  Adoglover5

WARNING: Kidnapping, Buried Alive, Heavy Themes

Like I said. I like Wally getting hurt and this is just wonderful. Another well written and dark themed fic. 

Harry Potter

Obsidian Rhapsody by Cobalt Violet

WARNING: PAIN. SO MUCH PAIN. 

Pairing: Wolfstar

This fic hurt a lot to read but it was amazing at the same time. It is a recommended read if you like darker themes and darker AUs. Also check out more by this person. They write AMAZING Wolfstar 

Afterlife by  Veinne

I do care about this fic just because it is more realistic...in a sense. 

By the Light of the Full Moon by TheChasm 

This fic is incomplete and it is sad to read but I put it here anyway because it is amazing. And painful. Painful and amazing. 

James Potter and the Shrieking Shack by  Avery-Lou

Because there always needs to be more fics where the Marauders find out about Remus’ furry little secret. 

Not Ever by  orphan_account 

Werewolves and Magic and Dreams, Oh My! by  glitterfics

WARNINGS: This story is rated Mature

You can’t have a bunch of Remus stories without werewolf pain. This is another great discovery story that gets into the nitty-gritty. 

Captain America

This, You Protect by  owlet

This whole series is a MASTERPIECE. It focuses on Bucky and was created right after the Winter Solider came out. I like this version of how events could have gone a little better then the movies and I recommend this fic to everyone that loves Bucky Barnes. 

To Be Vulnerable Is Needed Most Of All by  perfect_plan

Paring: STUCKY

This is a good AU fic that I didn’t think I would enjoy enjoy when I clicked on it very late at night. It deals with some heavy things like PTSD and Panic Attacks but all over is a good fic about two people that become the best couple ever. 

to memory now I can't recall by  Etharei

WARNING: This story is rated EXPLICIT 

Pairing: STUCKY

This story is really good and tries to be as historically accurate as possible. I was looking for a swicher-roo fic and this gave me everything I needed. I really have a hankering for more of the Howling Commandos so if anyone has any of those I am open. 

Welcome to Night Vale

A Momentary Lapse Of Reason by  PippinSqueaks

This story is just amazing! It is probably the only one I am recommending for this fandom. It follows along with Carlos’ view of this strange town of Night Vale and him falling in love. It doesn’t stop there. You get invested with the OC scientists and their lives. It ropes you in with the strange familiar and then traps you. I love it so much and go back to it all the time when I am listening. 

Gravity Falls 

Wednesday, 12 Dec. 1979 by xusu

This fic is just great and feelsy and goes along with the worry any friend should have over his injured compadre. I love this fic a lot and it is a good read when wanting to dive into Fiddleford and Stanford’s friendship. 

Dead Of Night by dan_vs92

WARNING: Threat of Self-Harm, Blood, PAIN, Just all over Bill being a dick

Pairing: FiddAuthor

This story is how I came across the most wonderful and terrible person the fandom could give me and I love it. I love it so much. A shared love of making the skinny scientist that is Fiddleford H. McGucket suffer. @danvssomethingorother is a great writer and you should read EVERYTHING. And I mean it. Read EVERYTHING of theirs and spam review them. They are great. From Fiddauthor or FiddleStan. Just go and love their stuff. 

Cold by  slytherfoot

WARNINGS: This story is rated MATURE for a lot of reasons. 

Bill is a dick. A real big dick and I hate him so much but that is why I love this story. Playing on emotions and shit is just so...ug...and Fidds suffering always spices up my life. 

Stanley McGucket by The Last Speecher (HeidiMelone)

PAIRING: FIDDAUTHOR but it isn’t that big in the story till later

Let me tell you about this story. I clicked on it in the dead of night when I was exhausted just looking for a good Stan story and came back with all these characters that I love dear to my heart. This AU and these OCs are just precious and I love them so much. @thelastspeecher has created a great world and you should read everything they have wrote. EVERYTHING. DO IT. 

Blind Faith by  pinesinthewoods

WARNINGS: BLOOD, GORE, RATED MATURE, SO MUCH PAIN

This story is the best AU I have every found. (At least one of them). I cannot tell you how painful it was to read all of this and come out whole. It is a journey and if you have not read this AU then you are missing out or know what is good for you and your stomach. 

Abuelito by jikanet_tanaka

Breaking up the pain train with some nice Soos and Stanley father-son moments. Cause we all need that in our lives. At least I do. 

Gravity Falls Timestuck AU by the_subpar_ghost

I love this fic for many reasons. Just Mabel being in the past is enough to fix some things that went wrong in the past. This story is also well written and amazing. I just think everyone should read this if they love young Stans, Mabel, and craziness. 

Unfinished Business by  thesnadger

WARNINGS: Character Death

Back to pain. This fic is all about Stanley dying in a very tragic way and just giving you ghost feels. I won’t give much but I cried a lot while reading. Ghost!Stan always makes me sad. You should check out more of @thesnadger‘s fics as well. I enjoy them a lot.

The Adventure with the Mindscape by Giroshane

Mindscape fics are kind of over done but this one is good. Trust me it is. It is Ford breaking down and you really get to see the connection between the brothers. It is just pain. 

Please Don't Come Again by LogicalBookThief

Back to some happy with Stan fighting for Soos. Soos and Stanley father-son bond is pure and needs more fics. 

The Ghost that Lives in Great Uncle Ford's Basment by LookerDeWitt

More Ghost Stanley for your fancy. This one Stan dies and haunts the Shack that never became the shack. Sadly the Mystery Twins’ summer is kind of bland mostly because of Stanford the Paranoid but it gets better. Trust me, it does. 

The Pit by looneymoony

PAIRING: FIDDAUTHOR

A silly little fic that is all about two nerds realizing they like each other by falling to their deaths in a bottomless pit. 

Cutting the Knot by  Sarah1281

PAIRING: FIDDAUTHOR

This fic is a good Christmas time carol but also something more. It is a story that changes how time works and it also gives Ford a good life with a loving BF and a kid. What could be better then that? A fix-it fic with holiday charm. 

The Time Wish by Sarah1281

This is a good fic where Stanley gets a time wish and chooses to fix this past. I think this is nice because it gives everyone part of the ‘Mystery Trio’ a second chance at a better life when they were younger. 

Jersey Boy by Fordtato

WARNINGS: Period-Typical Actions, Historically Accurate, Drug Use

PARING: FIDDAUTHOR

This fic is still in the works and it is not last because it is the worst. It is last because it is amazing. It is a wonderful slow-burn fic that just so wonderful. It follows the time period wonderfully, Fidds is a little Hippie sass-master, Stanford is so awkward, and I just love this fic so much. It would be a crime to leave it off this list. If you love historically accurate things, dorky college boys, hippies, and just Ford in college this fic is for you. 

This is in NO WAY all the fics I can recommend but this is all that I think I can cram into one post. Gravity Falls is my main fandom right now so it does take more room but all these fics are worth a look into. Check out all these writers and LEAVE REVIEWS/COMMENTS ON THEIR STORIES. Don’t click to read without leaving some feedback. 

Of course you can check out my fics on FF.NET and AO3 if you want to see some of my stuff. You can use my favorites and bookmarks to find more of the stories I loved. 

[kariedo]

1-68 and 99

Why are you like this?

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?I tend to put more milk in even though I don’t drink it lmao

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?No I hate the cold with a passion

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?Nothing really cause I haven’t picked up a book in god knows how long lmao

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?I don’t like either unless it has a shit tone of sugar in it

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?Yes

6: do you keep plants?No. Me and plants have some bad blood lmao

7: do you name your plants?No cause I don’t keep plants

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?Generally my tablet or paper

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Yes

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?usually on my side, but if I’m dead tired my stomach or if I’m drunk my back even though you’re not suppose to lmao

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?The most recent one is “Pete would shit is pants” and “Stupid” lmao

12: what's your favorite planet?Venus lmao

13: what's something that made you smile today?My cat lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?It would be covered in weeb shit let’s be honest lmao That or we would have our fav disney stuff everywhere along with our favorite colors clashing because I’m sure none of us believe in transition colors

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!Please do not. I can’t handle space. I’ll have a crisis lmao

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?All pasta dishes lmao

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?LAVENDER

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.The fucking comment about lean muscle which still haunts me to this day. I opened my stupid mouth when we were talking about body types and I said I preferred lean muscle and literally the next fucking day Joseph Joestar happened and they will never let it go.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?No lmao

20: what's your favorite eye color?I think green eyes are really pretty lmao

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.I don’t really carry around bags. There’s my purse that I’ve had for god knows how long only cause I’m too lazy to clean it out and go look for a new oneplus I’m broke af for a new one

22: are you a morning person?Oh honey no lmao

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Just lay in my bed and do nothing lmao

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?Yes and sometimes I think I’ve made a mistake cause she’ll always tease me about some stuff lmao

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?A middle school because my friend had to use the bathroom lmao

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?My black knock off vans lmao

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?Just the original bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset?Sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?They will make doodles or write stuff and I’m such a sucker for that stuff and I cry :’)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?I live in a constant state of fear lmao

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.I love socks. I have them on constantly except in the summer and it’s only really so I can tan my white ass feet. My fav kind of socks are the really soft and fuzzy ones uwu

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.One time we were drinking and my now current roommate lived by a park and so we went and we were playing on the jungle gym and there was this turning wheel thing that you’d spin on. So we all went on it and I spun on it a little to fast so when I let go I kinda semi ate it but I was fine but my roommate didn’t see this green pole and he slammed right into and was on the ground laughing and crying lmao

33: what's your fave pastry?Doughnuts lmao

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?I used to have this stuffed polar bear and I would refuse to sleep without it, but I think I gave it away or it’s in a box in my stuff somewhere

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I like pretty pens, but I don’t use them often because my handwriting is shit lmao

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?Tbh just play me emo band for my whole entire life lmao

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?Messy af

38: tell us about your pet peeves!I really hate having to do everything when people just don’t want to do their shit, so I have to pick up the slack.I also hate ignorant people who just refuse to listen to you.

39: what color do you wear the most?I wear a lot of black surprisingly

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?I have a pendent of the arrow head from part 4 and it’s basically cause I’m Jojo trash lmao

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?I don’t think I have ever read a book that’s had a lasting impact on me. Fanfiction on the other hand BOI

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!Not really cause I don’t drink coffee

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?nnipps and she found Maui’s hook lmao

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?Never :)

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?I guess????

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.There was this quiz that I accidentally missed back in CHEM 110 and it was such an easy quiz and one of the fucking questions was a god damn pun and it was: What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium

It haunts me to this day

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?I don’t think I have a food that I hate that much

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?Failure and it’s still holds strong to this day as I am dying in college :)))))

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?I do lmao the last one that I bought myself was Death of Bachelor, but nnipps had to go and buy A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out WHEN I COULD HAV GOTTEN IT MYSELF

50: what's an odd thing you collect?I don’t think it’s odd but I have some pop vinyls and figures. Stuff like that. Then there’s blankets, but that’s mainly cause nnipps always gives me blankets for christmas lmao

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?Does it have to be an actual person lmaoI’ll just use my friend and I just associate “How Far I’ll Go” cause Moana is her fav movie and she loves that song lmao

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?Idk if it’s really a meme, but I’m in love with those bird videos with Becky and Ron lmao I could watch those for hours and quote them

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?Nope never seen any of them

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?Oh jesus um I guess my friend

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?I don’t think I have done anything dramatic to prove a point

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?I really love when people just do nice stuff that other person loves for each other lmao

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?Ok I was literally singing this yesterday with my roommates and we always get into it like the drama queens we are lmao

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?joetaroh-koohoe is definitely the vodka aunt lmao as for wine mom I’m pretty sure the rest of us fall into that category

59: what's your favorite myth?I don’t really have one

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?I do, but I don’t think I have a fav

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?I go all out with presents so I don’t think I’ve given a stupid one or at least I hope I haven’t and then I love all gifts so I never classify any gift as stupid lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?I use to, but ain’t nobody got time for that or breakfast

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?Not really. They are just there chilling lmao

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?Grey

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?I just recently saw my friends for spring break and my other friend is up here so I’m good for now lmao

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Just a shit ton of carnations lmao

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?Lazy af

68: what's winter like where you live?FUCKING FREEZING AND IT NEVER STOPS RAINING AND I HATE IT

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.Ok if anyone knows me they know that This is Gospel by Panic! at the Disco fucking cripples me. That song just destroys me and I can never listen to it without either crying or just dying.

Death of Bachelor also hits me like a fucking truck along with House of Memories (although that one is because I’m OTP garbage) then there is She Had the World. Lying is the Most Fun a Girl can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off is also a song that gets to me mainly cause that was my first Panic! song lmao Then there is Build God, Then We'll Talk like I just fucking die with that song ESPECIALLY THAT VIOLIN BIT LIKE G O DThen we have Girls/Girls/Boys that sends me into a spiral of emotions.But moving away from Panic! there’s this acoustic version of Touch it by Ariana Grande that had my soul transcend to a whole other dimension. Who was I before that song. The piano and the vocals saved me man. Then there is Knew Better Part II that gets to me like idk what it is but it speaks to me. Then we have Best Mistake that fucking wrecks me too like it speaks to my angsty soul. Then there’s Why Try, One Last Time, and My Everything that also speak to my angsty soul.

Pretty much Panic! at the Disco and Ariana Grande just tend to kill me lmao