#but now I’m just upset like as someone with siblings this hits

[mysteriouspersonrambles]

Man the truth was really starring us right in the face this chapter. Going back there were so many signs about what happened to Kou. Like:

The way he knows that people have been killed and doesn’t elaborate, saying that he can’t turn back the world. His hand turning freaking TRANSPARENT!!! (That one I’m kinda mad at myself for not catching beforehand) it really just adds to the tragedy of it all. Like he was dead before any of us knew it, and the only way out now is to turn back the clock

[glamourscat]

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ My thoughts on the Itoshi brothers’ dynamic ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

The Itoshi brothers’ dynamic is so damn sad, and it breaks my heart a little more every time I think about it.

The thing is, we know that Rin is deeply upset (and that’s an understatement) with Sae. Sae made him a promise, the one about becoming the best players in the world together. Reading the manga makes you understand that the way Sae says it, it’s meant as nothing more than “child talk.” You know, when you’re a child and you feel you’re on top of the world? Exactly like that. When you feel you’re invincible and nothing can break you.

But then Sae left for Spain, alone. He was still just a kid. We don’t know what happened during his time abroad, but we can speculate that it wasn’t easy. Easy to adapt, given the cultural differences between Japan and Spain. It probably wasn’t easy to understand and come to terms with the fact that he was not “the best in the world” like he used to be in the little team he played for in Japan. He went to Spain, met stronger opponents, and his dream got crushed. From a striker to a midfielder, because he saw better talents than him. Because he was probably made to feel like his talent wasn’t worth even trying.

You can’t tell me that a little boy with so much substance, joy, passion, and determination to become the number one striker is suddenly reduced to nothing but a shell of who he was. Sure, people grow, but we are talking about a massive jump. We are talking about a kid left to his own devices, alone, without a family by his side in a foreign country.

Which leads me to Rin. I understand his anger. The way he feels betrayed when Sae comes back and suddenly it’s not about “us” together, but about “us” separately. I understand the way he felt betrayed because while Rin poured every ounce of his sweat and tears into leveling up for Sae—his older brother had instead “moved on,” logically. While Rin was breaking himself in four to become someone good enough for Sae, keeping the promise they made close to heart, Sae hadn’t thought about it twice.

Sure, you can blame Rin and say he was too naive, too childish. But he was. He was all those things; he was a child. What child, a younger brother at that, wouldn’t take into consideration the words from his older brother? Younger siblings thrive off their older ones, becoming who they are as individuals by looking up to their older siblings, most of the times at least. It’s obvious why Rin chose football and not another sport, for example. Why he stopped receiving presents from Santa at 8 because his brother had stopped at 10—and if Sae stopped, then so would he, despite still longing for presents.

The betrayal hit Rin particularly hard because while he still had no idea who he was or is, he had at least Sae to look up to. And he was under the impression that the two of them would become the best together. But then Sae comes back, and that dream is out the window.

I’m not going to sit here and debate ethics, because morally speaking, neither Rin nor Sae are perfect beings. They are both equally flawed, and that’s what makes this tragic. Fast forward to now, with Rin being 16/17 and Sae 18, this is where the issues flow in.

They are both old enough to know that the words Sae spoke in the past and the present are wrong and hurtful. No, it’s not “sibling dynamics.” You can be as angry as you want with the world, with your sibling. But to speak like that, then pretend nothing happened and genuinely be confused about why your little brother is “acting out” is next-level madness. Last time I checked, we don’t know exactly what type of individuals Rin’s and Sae’s parents are. But, seeing how their kids react to conflict and hard emotions, it’s safe to say they probably aren’t the best parents. And there’s some emotional neglect involved.

Back to what I was saying, when you’re 16 your emotions are so damn high, this is not me trying to excuse Rin, it’s me understanding where he comes from. It doesn’t excuse the type of person he has become. It’s me sympathising with his situation, because when you live in an environment where you’re forced to either survive or get eaten—you choose survival, no matter what it takes to achieve it. He is a nasty piece of work, with his sharp edges, closed off emotionally and mentally. Slightly judgmental and extremely angry. At himself, at everything. His anger, however, doesn’t mutate like Shidou’s into violence on the field. Rin’s anger is thin, at times invisible. It seeps through the cracks and makes him bitter and sorrowful.

That said, when you come to terms with the fact that Sae has no idea on why Rin is so angry at him and the reason for his anger—passing off his attitude and words as simple “teenage angst” — makes me feel many ways, and none are positive. To me, it’s absurd seeing your little brother acting so hostile towards you, seeing the clear signs of anger and frustration but also sadness in him, and passing it off as “Rin is acting out.” How? Genuinely, how?

You see your brother on the verge of screaming at you on the football field, in front of thousands of people present and live during the U20 match, and what do you do? Further insult him? Girl— It’s the way Sae is not even trying to understand. You can think all you want that your brother is going through a phase, and maybe it’s just me, but if I see my younger sibling acting out, I’m going to talk to them. It doesn’t have to be an emotional confrontation per se, but a simple “what the hell is going on with you?” kind of thing. Letting them know that you’re there for them.

But, with the hypothetical scenario where the Itoshi brothers grew up in an emotionally neglectful house, it makes sense why Sae doesn’t even know how to approach Rin. Ultimately, however, the fact that Sae has no idea why his brother is “acting out,” why Rin is just so angry, makes the whole thing even sadder. Because while Rin took everything to heart and that anger, the delusion is slowly consuming him—Sae has no idea what’s going on. And if Rin finds out that Sae doesn’t even know/didn’t even notice, I think it would end even worse than it already is.

There, we will see his anger explode to unimaginable levels. Anger turning into self-destruction. Rin would truly become a shell of himself, unsure of what direction to take. Because how do you even begin to explain to your little brother that his anger, the way he was feeling, wasn’t even noticed or acknowledged by his older brother? How do you even begin to explain that Sae doesn’t even understand why Rin is reacting the way he is? Truth is, Sae is emotionally unavailable, and Rin is a ticking bomb ready to explode really soon.

© GLAMOURSCAT

[imsuperhungry]

4 𝙖𝙢

ᴇɴᴛʀʏ 004

(yandere until dawn)

WARNINGS: Mild Yandere Themes, Cussing, Mentions Of Blood, Grieving

WORD COUNT: 2179

(10:16 𝖯𝖬, 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖢𝖠𝖡𝖨𝖭)

That 10-minute nap was a nightmare. It felt like you were trapped in an endless loop of Hannah and Beth's disappearance, their voices screaming at you, asking why you hadn't helped them. You already felt terrible about being dragged into the so-called "harmless" prank, but hiding under the bed instead of following them out only made everything worse.

The guilt had been gnawing at you, leaving you feeling raw and like a terrible person. You could have saved them, you tell yourself. You could have saved your so-called "best friends." But you didn't.

The past year has been a haze of mental turmoil, endlessly questioning whether you're a bad person for not stepping in to stop the prank. God, if only you could go back to that night—find the courage to break free from Jess and Emily when they practically forced you under the bed.

Then maybe they'd be here on the couch with you. Beth would be curled up on the other end of the soft leather, probably dozing off just like you were. And Hannah—she'd likely be the only one still awake, gently playing with your hair as she always did, tracing delicate shapes and intricate patterns on the soft of your shoulder.

However, your thoughts were abruptly cut short as a gentle shake pulled you from the endless loop of nightmares.

"Hey, hey, it's fine," a voice murmured, but in your delirious state, you were too disoriented to grasp what was happening. Your face was damp, and you realized you were resting your head in someone's lap, their hand gently stroking your cheek in a soothing rhythm, you felt heavy, as if you'd been hit by a ton of bricks.

"I’m right here, it’s fine, little bee." Ah, that’s who it was—you’d recognize that voice anywhere. It was Josh’s hand tracing softly along your face, Josh’s lap you were lying on. It was his sisters you were crying over, and your own tears that left your face so wet.

“Josh?” you croaked weakly, your voice still thick with sleep. He let out a small laugh in response, though you could hear the gentleness woven into it.

"You were crying in your sleep, bumblebee. I had to make sure you were okay. You are okay, right?" he asked, concern etched in his voice.

“Um,” you hesitated, not wanting to bring up his sisters, even though he had just mentioned them an hour ago. Josh was grappling with his own feelings; you didn’t want to add to his burdens. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bad dream, I guess,” you replied with a sigh.

"You sure?" he asked gently, wiping the tears from your eyes. "I can listen if you want; I can make time for you, you know that." His insistence was clear, but you held firm to your answer. You really didn’t want to ruin his night.

Sitting up from his lap, much to his dismay, you thanked him for the offer, genuinely grateful, but once again declined. You did it for his sake.

What you hadn’t realized was that Josh already knew what you were upset about; he could read you like a book. Your whimpers and whines had drawn him to the couch in a worried state, much like a mother animal responding to her baby’s cries.

He missed his sisters, that was clear. He had spent countless days searching for them, screaming their names until his throat bled. It had always been the four of you—Hannah, Beth, him, and you—and now he had lost two of them. He'd be damned if he lost the last one he had, even if it wasn’t by blood.

He could still remember the years when it was just the four of you in the cabin, gossiping about the drama at school and painting each other’s nails. Josh wasn’t exempt from the fun; he’d end up with his nails painted a pretty shade of pink, much to his chagrin but also with a hint of a smile.

Josh had always been protective of his siblings; it was clear in how he scared off animals and people and monitored your alcohol intake. But after the mistake of passing out once while under his watch, his protectiveness increased tenfold.

He was determined to ensure that tonight went according to his plan. Everyone involved would understand what revenge truly meant, and you would sleep right through it. When you woke up the next morning, he’d tell you everyone had gone home early, leaving just the two of you. You’d be free to do whatever you wished for the day—playing baseball, watching TV, sledding—you name it, and he’d make sure it happened.

You and Josh sat in silence for a while; you were collecting your thoughts while he revised his plan in his head, reassuring himself that everything would be perfectly fine. He just needed to find Chris and Ashley first, who he figured would be in the dining area, playing with the Ouija board.

“Hey, I’m going to look for Emily and Matt. They aren’t here yet, and I’m starting to get a bit worried,” you told him as you prepared to stand up.

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to stay here? I can add more wood to the fire; you’ll be nice and warm,” he asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Uhm, yeah. I really want to make sure she’s doing okay. I’ll come back to the fire after I walk them up here,” you said, straightening your legs as you stood up, with Josh following suit soon after.

“Okay, well, stay safe. And try to be back within 20 minutes, or else you’re going to make me worry,” he said, pulling you into a hug. Although he didn’t need to remind you to be careful—you could be as reckless as you wanted—he’d make sure nothing harmed you, not on this walk, or ever again for that matter.

After a few more seconds in the hug, you finally let go and stepped outside once again. It seemed to have warmed up just the tiniest bit; it was barely noticeable, but definitely there.

The fresh snow crunched beneath your feet as you walked, and honestly, you didn’t know exactly where you were headed. You had planned on wandering through some of the cable stations until you spotted them. But now that you were out here, the plan felt pretty foolish. Whatever—worst-case scenario, you wouldn’t find them and would just walk back to the cabin alone.

The cold began to have little effect on you; after walking in it for hours at this point, it didn't bother you as much as it used to.

Luckily, after a few more minutes of walking, you spotted the two of them, also on the move. You broke into a light jog to greet them, feeling a wave of relief wash over you.

“Hey! Emily! Matt!” you yelled, cupping your hands around your mouth to let your voice echo through the forest.

You watched as they halted their steps and turned around to investigate who was calling them, yet somehow they still didn’t see you. You called out again, your voice carrying through the crisp air.

“Em! Matt!” you shouted. They looked around before finally spotting you. You waved your arms in the air like a crazy woman, a big grin on your face, fully aware of how silly you must have looked in that moment.

You ran over to them, and Emily immediately squealed upon your arrival. She grabbed onto both of your hands, jumping up and down with excitement, her genuine smile lighting up her face.

“Hey, sorry, guys. I just walked Mike and Jess out to the guest cabin, and when I came back to the main cabin, I didn’t see you?” you said, still trying to catch your breath.

“Oh, yeah, we left not too long ago. It took us a second to leave because we got a little preoccupied,” Matt said, giving your back a reassuring pat to help you catch your breath.

“Oh? What happened?” you asked, your curiosity getting the better of you, just as nosy as ever.

“It was just some dumb argument,” Matt said, waving his hand dismissively in the air. “But don’t worry, we’re over it now, right, Em?” he asked, turning to Emily for confirmation.

“Uhm, sure,” she replied, folding her arms. Looking between the two of them, you could tell that everything wasn’t quite “fine,” but you felt it wasn’t your place to comment on it.

“Well, do you guys want to keep walking? I think Emily had to get her bag, right?” you asked, trying to break the tension in the air.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s keep going,” Matt said, and together, you all began to walk down the mountain.

You and Emily started making small talk, chatting about what you had planned after this, whether you liked the cold, and eventually, the conversation drifted to Jess.

“Christ, I just don’t get that,” you said, shaking your head in disbelief. “You guys were like, so close! Well, we all were.”

“I know, right? It’s actually crazy. Especially the fact that she organized the whole prank to get Hannah to back off Mike for me—just to end up getting with him!” Emily said, rolling her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Em, like really. This friend group is falling apart, and I wish I could fix it,” you said, meaning every word. It was clear that things hadn’t been great lately. Yet, a part of you still hoped that somehow, everyone would come back together in the end and that you all would be okay.

“It’s whatever; she’s a whore anyway,” Emily said, snickering to herself as she said it.

“Come on, Em,” Matt said from beside you, attempting to hold her accountable, but he couldn’t suppress the grin forming on his face.

“Oh, come on! You’re laughing too!” she said, poking a finger into the fat of his cheek. The tension from their argument was clearly gone now, and everyone seemed to be in better spirits.

“Ugh, but seriously,” Emily began, “when she asked—no, demanded—you’d come out to the cabin with them, it was just so… ew.”

This, however, felt a bit hypocritical, considering Emily had forced you to follow along with her countless times—whether it was shopping at the mall, walking around school, or even dragging you to parties with Jess.

Still, you nodded your head in agreement to appease her. Eventually, you all reached the first cabin station, where Emily’s bag lay dropped on the ground, forgotten

“Ah, there it is!” she exclaimed as she ran up to grab it. Matt and you stayed where you were, deciding to let her retrieve it on her own.

She bent down to pick it up, inspecting the dirt that had gotten on it as she held it in her hands. After a moment, she nodded her head in silent approval and walked back over to you and Matt, smiling brightly as she waved the bag.

“I got it!” she exclaimed. You smiled at her expression; seeing her happy after the Mike and Jess situation was a relief.

"Adorable! I love it!" you said, she handed me the bag, motioning for you to take a closer look, which you gladly did.

The bag had a soft, plaid pattern in gentle shades of pink, beige, and brown, giving it a cozy look. The bag has a nice rectangular shape with long, tan straps that attach with little silver studs.

As you admired every intricate detail, your fingers tracing the craftsmanship, you suddenly heard footsteps crunching through the snow nearby.

You looked up to see Chris and Ashley approaching, both hunched over and staggering towards you guys. Chris had his arm around Ashley, holding her close as if he were comforting her.

"Chris!? Ash!?" you called out, puzzled by their sudden appearance. Hadn't Josh said they were staying inside to mess around with the Ouija board?

Emily and Matt both turned to the direction you were calling, and they too spotted the figures in the dark.

As they drew nearer, you got a better look at them. Ashley and Chris looked terrified, as if they had just seen a ghost. Then you noticed Ashley's clothes—she was covered in… blood?

“Ashley!?” you screamed, fear creeping in. If that was really blood on her, you had no idea what to do next.

“_!” she called, her voice sounding tired, as if she had been screaming for hours. She reached out, grasping onto you and sobbing into your shoulder. As you held her tightly against your chest, your hands brushed against something wet that soaked her clothes. When you held it up to your face to inspect it, your suspicions were confirmed—it was blood.

Your heart dropped as you held Ashley close. Meanwhile, Chris spoke with Emily and Matt, and you strained to listen in. “What the hell is going on!?” Emily exclaimed, glaring at Ashley for some unknown reason.

“There’s a fucking killer on the mountain! It was Josh; he just—” Chris tried to explain, but he sounded so distraught. The cracks in his voice made it clear he was struggling to find the words.

The conversation faded into the background as you grappled with the horrifying realization that someone was on the mountain, picking you off one by one. And you don't know if you're safe from it…

(A/N): I'm just going to let you know, this is where the yandere shit REALLY kicks off, stay prepared 😭

[dreamwritersworld]

Disconnected… (sully family x reader)

this was inspired by 2 requests sent in so please enjoy! I didn’t link the two requests just cause I didn’t want to spoil it before you read so thank you! 💞

Y/n Sully. I was a happier child…until that light was pulled away and burnt out.

*five year old Y/n*

There was one too many moment where Jake had compared her to her older siblings…

Jake had pulled Y/n by her ear to listen to his words clearly about how she had to heal and be as good as Kiri..

Y/n walked into a separate room clearly in distress while Kiri was calmly sitting down beading a bracelet but she could sense something was wrong.

“What’s wrong?”

“…father keeps saying that I have to be like you but I’m not you.”

Y/n didn’t even give Kiri a chance to talk she knew that whatever she said wouldn’t make her feel better…not even a few moments after both sisters heard their mother talking to another Navi and that just made Y/n more upset.

“Kiri is the most beautiful child ever! We were given her so sudden and I always say to her, Eywa gave me you.”

Whats the softest way to say…you took away my passion…my happiness…what’s the kindest way to say?..you took away my spark.

-*

I had so much potential, had I just been brought up differently given the correct corrections and encouragement I would’ve been something…something meaningful.

*6 year old Y/n*

“Y/n! Hold the knife correctly! Look at the way your brother is holding it! Why can’t you just be smart? Think!”

Y/n was too young to even start early training but…he made her anyways, said “with her like that, she needs at least two years of early training! She needs to think smarter.”

The little girl was buried deep into training when all she wanted to do was continue making friendship bracelets for people…she was such a sweet little girl.

Every time Jake yelled, stood by, or ever so slightly glanced at her she felt slightly scared…it always felt like he didn’t care. Truth was Jake was reckless with her feelings..he didn’t care about how the outcome of his actions would reflect on the young child.

-*

Now I just sit in the comforting silence of the forest.

*8 year old Y/n*

There was one day when I was genuinely scared…terrified of the man yelling in my face..grabbing me, all because I failed at aiming correctly that day..but it was only because he made me stay up the entire night before practicing.

“Why can’t you just think kid?!”

He was pushing for words to come out as tears build up in my eyes.

“You were awful today!”

My own father could sleep peacefully in the fact that he was destroying me. It made him mad, my silence spoke louder than words..anger he wanted to come out of me. All of the sudden a full hand slapped my cheek.

My heart missed multiple beats when I realized what had just happened. That’s the moment I went numb to his actions, I quickly got up..wiped away my tears and went off to train without him. If someone were to ever hit me the way he did that day, I wanted to be ready.

-*

I was dragged through the mud, what’s more to be scared of..? I don’t need them or anyone.

I don’t speak much to anyone…they don’t try speaking to me either so I guess in a way I settled.

*9 year old Y/n*

Jake’s treatment towards Y/n was like whiplash. One second he’d give her slight hope it was ok and then the next second he’d crumble her to pieces.

He put Kiri and Y/n to healing and she was doing really well, until a hard week hit her.

“Y/n. You went from first…to worst in one whole practice! You need to do better, when will you get it?”

All siblings watched as Y/n curled herself in, hiding her head once he left.

They were sad to say they noticed how as the years went by Y/n no longer talked to them…to anyone. Yet all siblings turned a blind eye..maybe it was temporary?

-*

It doesn’t mean that i stay by myself all alone and do nothing, no absolutely not I enjoy adventure, hanging onto life by a thread…

*10 year old Y/n*

I actually used to have a good friend I knew for a short amount of time but sadly…she died. She didn’t know a thing about survival but it was because her father refused to teach her. So I taught her, but i wish I did it sooner, maybe if I did she would’ve lived…

It happened just moments after I taught her how to shoot a gun, she found hidden away.

“You want to see what i found?…will you show me how to use it?”

I was conflicted and confused because i had only learned briefly just once

“Ok…but it is not a toy.”

“I know!”

She pointed the gun up to a random tree turning to me asking what she would do.

“The most important thing is when you go to shoot, take a breathe before you hit the trigger.”

Tílí took this hilarious big breathe, exaggerating it.

“What should I shoot?”

Tílí was so…inexperienced, so much that That she didn’t even know you couldn’t wave around the gun. So I crouched and panicked the moment she aimed it at me unknowingly.

“Don’t do that!”

“I-I’m so sorry i- im sorry!”

Tílí immediately put the gun away but i didn’t even look…i looked at the forest searching for where the walking sounds came from.

“…Tílí..let’s go now.”

I yanked onto her hand and ran, hiding in an old lab, as we ran i could hear the man’s voice,

“Come out! Where ever you are!”

..we weren’t allowed to be in that part of the forest but I followed because she said she wanted to show me the gun.

We both sat down listening to the man whistling…this outsider must’ve been left behind when they were supposed to leave pandora, or perhaps this was the start of them coming back. Adrenaline raced through me that day…I was just a kid.

“I need you to listen to me. we have to go now…are you listening?”

Tílí just sat there, staring at the floor, and scared to move. When I reached out for her again she started talking louder.

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Daddy, I’m scared!”

It seemed as though she was stuck in time…like she believed her father would come right that moment, he made her so dependent..so scared.

“Snap out of it, Tílí!..please!”

My brain fogged up believing I wouldn’t be able to save her, I began to get scared. My head turned to the whistling getting closer and then i did what I believed was best..

“Move!”

Tílí felt my hand slap her across the face..and then she rushed up, I got her out first by holding her up to reach the skylight on the roof and then pulled myself up..as soon as we jumped off we ran but the man didn’t fail to notice us.

I ran with her but when we passed she had fallen and so did the gun but…the man shot her in the arm

“Get up Tílí! You have to trust me, I got you!”

Tílí screamed in pain as I yanked her up, catching the gun, and ran. The man was taking his time in catching us..he knew I wouldn’t want leave her…

She had no chance though, her speed was slower but I had to drag her, it left me no time to make turns so the man wouldn’t have a direct area to shoot. I didn’t even have time to hide us so I could kill him then..He had shot her in the chest.

“No don’t- Y/n! Daddy!!”

“No! Tílí!”

I instantly turned back and hid shooting the man from getting closer…my body went tense as I walked closer to Tíli, her body was shaking and hyperventilating.

“No, please Tílí! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry! Your my best friend…I’m sorry.”

I stayed in the forest crying, left with her body.

-*

That trauma didn’t go unnoticed. Mo’at could see that something was wrong with Y/n. It terrified her to see her grandchild’s downfall, she knew that Y/n would one day turn her back on her father for training and giving her pain so many years. Y/n wouldn’t let anyone even touch or stand by her…Mo’at wasn’t even an exception, no matter how much she wanted to heal those little wounds on her grandchild’s rough fingers and knees from training. She could see the pain Y/n was working through, the back pain from constantly doing tricks in training…suppose it was the reason Y/n was the best but it doesn’t mean it’s ok.

Y/n had been sitting on the floor, making medicine while Mo’at observed her…Neytiri walked in the room with medicine Kiri made from home.

“Kiri made some medicine for healing, mother.”

Mo’at hushed Neytiri and pulled her to the side, still keeping an eye on Y/n.

“We must talk..”

“About?”

“Y/n-“

“Oh mother please, no need to worry about that child she-she’s fine. She remains happy at home as well.”

“Really? If that were true, that child would feel safe enough to make medicine from home.”

“Mother. You cannot possibly be insinuating that-“

“Shh. It’s just Y/n, there’s something cold behind her eyes…”

Mo’at walked away leaving Neytiri wondering…she too watched Y/n while she unpacked the medicine Kiri was making from home…

After helping grandmother I had stayed out a little but I only came back late five minutes after eclipse and brought back food that I hunted for. I could feel him and his stares..how he was so fixated on me and what i was doing now that he wasn’t playing ‘olo’ekytan’.

“You staying out late again?! I already told you, your forbidden from staying out! You think bringing food back home will make it better?!”

I couldn’t listen. My hand automatically dropped the food off by my mother and I immediately walked back out the home entering the forest, too annoyed to deal with him…he didn’t stop though.

My feet walked faster, heart began beating louder and my eyes just kept looking forward, not turning back.

“You come back here right now. I mean it Y/n stop!”

I couldn’t..for the first time in a long time..i just wanted to stop, to look him in the eye.

“I’m gonna tell you right now, You’re-“

Sometimes my mind just fogs up and forgets my morals…just like him. I turned right around, banging my hand into a tree just to push him to listen.

“Stop! I’ll walk home sir just- stop.”

He continued mumbling words, yanking me by the ear, i allowed it…im not at my break point just yet. As we entered the home he threw me onto my hammock and i just accepted it, staring at the sky…the other thing about numbness is that it kinda collapses time…suddenly i find my whole days blending together creating this endless and suffocating loop, training is all I do…

“Dinners ready!”

My transit stopped and i got up slowly, sitting in my little corner. There was never space at our dinner area for me..so I just ate alone. Then i did my chores as normal, slowly walked up to my bed sighing at the fact that i didn’t have the warmth everyone else did. Mother seemingly forgot to request a new blanket for me and I didn’t make enough time to craft items to trade something in for it..so I’ll settle on the rough blanket with seeking holes.

The next day I was told to do hunting with Neteyam in the forest…we didn’t talk much, which made it easier for us to hear outside noises..Then a man came but wasn't normal navi, he was an avatar and he held a gun, seemingly scare almost like he got lost.

"Shoot 'em"

Neteyam couldn't pull the trigger, but I didn't have the patience and i shot the man in the leg...then the hip.

I walked slowly to him.

Neteyam slightly tugged on me to just walk away and not interfere...but i just couldn't…something was wrong.

"Cmon let's go."

“Shut up Neteyam.”

He was annoyed but he just didn’t understand what the situation was so I kicked the man repeatedly until he was begging me..and when he did I asked some questions.

“Who are you with? You are not normal Navi.”

Then he spitted in my face mumbling about him swearing and being loyal, I shot him in the head with my arrow.

“Idiot.”

We walked away in silence but i can tell In his face what i had just done bothered him..he’ll get over it though right? He’s supposed to be the strongest warrior. The noises weren’t done..we could hear our siblings voices as we walked away. Neteyam called for our parents but i couldn’t stay put like he did.

Neteyam was behind a tree ready to shoot an arrow but he hadn’t realized a soldier approaching so I jumped down from the branch stabbing repeatedly into the man’s neck quick to make it silent..i hid once again when I saw a soldier head our way..he hadn’t noticed the body, just grabbed Neteyam, snapping his bow into half.

I began killing all 3 soldiers around hidden in the trees pointing guns at my siblings who were on their knees.

My eyes landed on the two fallen guns and i shot 6 while they blindly shot in a panic…i didn’t see anyone else, my siblings had ran into my parents arms. I was covered in blood..fixated on two missing soldiers…

Quaritch watched from a far, he could see Y/n held zero mercy…she was the one who shot their soldier who got lost in the forest. If she was so cold…he’d be able to get to her, get through her head.

He made sure the soldier beside him stood up first, aiming a gun at Y/n and then he shot him…setting up a scene of him “protecting her”.

Y/n held her gun to him…but for a minute she seemed in awe, she was stuck in time..she felt like she knew who this man was, somehow and in some way she heard stories about him when she was listening to her parents conversations…as did he. The reason he knew about Y/n was because before they were sent back to the forest, they discussed the little information they knew about the sully family, Y/n sully being one of them. In all honesty he hoped he’d walk into her, she was a kid who he believed could easily be ended or manipulated, because Jake never loved her, no one did. Hints why back at the fort they referred to her as the ‘the child with no love’.

If he got her on his side, he’d be unstoppable and be able to kill her father with zero hesitation. He knew he needed her trust first so he dropped his gun, left himself defenseless.

“I won’t kill you kid. Those soldiers that you just killed, well I wish it was different I do but they were weak of will and character.”

Y/n was patient this time…this man wanted to actually listen and talk to her but then again she didn’t care, he held let them hold a gun to innocent peoples heads.

“You know what I wish? I wish I had killed you too. I still can.”

“Yet you haven’t, you think any of those soldiers would have the balls to say something like that. There’s no way you could’ve lasted this long by yourself, otherwise.”

He was wrong because Y/n was brutal when she had to be. But Quaritich seems to take the brutal mindset Y/n had to the furthest extreme. However what Quaritch does goes far beyond being brutal he was just ruthless ..And no one who is ruthless deserves to live. Y/n still let the man go on..trying to pick her poison.

“We’re more alike than you think. In fact I think you realize it…but you’re not comfortable with it yet.”

That’s where Y/n ended it she shot him in the leg, aimed right by his lungs…and then her bullets ran out. Jake was watching from afar…he saw the entire conversation…on his way back he saw the bodies on the floor with multiple stab wounds, and he watched how she walked up to him with a knife. Then..he was spotted by Quaritch.

“Jake-“

“Y/n! I’ll handle him. You don’t need to do that.”

Quaritch chucked at the oblivious father.

“That girl’s already seen more than you can imagine.”

Y/n turned to her father, rolling her eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere. That’s not your decision.”

“Atta girl, she ain’t afraid to look me in the eye like you Jake. You know that feeling you got right now? That's what makes you stronger than the rest of them kid….”

Y/n knew his words were true..but she was getting annoyed at the man who was repeatedly talking..letting all her thoughts out to her father..so she stabbed him in the neck, Repeatedly. Jake watched in horror, it was then that he realized he stabbed her in the back repeatedly as well…he made her a killing machine. She disconnected with the world more than usual and she didn’t even feel affected by it.

Everything felt slow..metal from the knife clinging with the soiled floor..blood covering her body. Y/n looked at her father, she wanted him to see her and the gore she created.

“this is what you’ve made me become.”

!💓!

Fun facts!

Kiri was making friendship bracelets at the age Y/n wasn’t allowed to!

Tílí was a reflection of what Y/n would’ve been if she hadn’t grown up quicker.

I didn’t show much of happier Y/n because her memories would be very faded from that time..she started to grow faster at age 5.

Tag list: @noodlesfics @eywas-heir r @itshype @zatarias-pandora @yeosxxx @arminsgfloll @tsireyak @neteyamforlife @aimsro @elegantkidfansoul l @goodiesinthecloset21 @nikotokitaswife @bucky1235 @detectivesparrow @kikosaurscave @ssc7514 @simp-erformarvelwomen @eirianna @ambria @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @lv9su @luciddasher @dakotali @httpjiikook @tainted-artist4161 @fanboyluvr @bat1212 @mxn14 @innersuitcasehairdoscissors @ducks118 @midnightliacr @osakis-gf @onetwo123three @briannalarae @thirsty4nonlivingmen @historygeekqueen @abbersreads @eskamybeloved @hoodiepandaninja16 @valovesyou @silentlyswimming @r3dc4ndy @onlytays @papichulo120627 @tsamiaxo @wwwellacom @dotheyevenknowmars @midgetpottermills @he110hon @kodzukenwhore @minkyungseokie

[marvel-and-chicago-fan]

Killer Cookie

A/n: I finally finished and I don’t know what else to say but I hope you love reading this since it’s the last part

Word count: 3.3k

summary: You get into a fight at school and Hailey helps you and your brother to stop fighting

———————————————————————— It was a chilly, no… freezing day in Chicago. It was snowing but not as much currently because the storm is supposed to hit later tonight.

You decided to walk to the firehouse instead of riding the bus because you didn’t feel like hearing everyone screaming whenever the bus would almost crash, even though you were one of those people with your friends.

Your class won a food party because they collected the most votes on the door decoration contest. Luckily none of the food had strawberries. Because you are deathly allergic to strawberries and always needed an EpiPen with you just in case.

Which reminded you to tell Will or Jay that you needed a new one since you lost your last one when you went out sledding with them.

But when you opened your locker to get your backpack and Jacket there was a box of chocolate chip cookies.

~inside the box

don’t worry there’s no strawberries, 

-secret admire ;)

You screamed internally because you lived  for Chocolate chip cookies, and you had a secret admirer?

*** 

On your way home you were starving since you didn’t eat much at school, only really some fries from the restaurant.

So you decided to eat 2 cookies and let everyone else fight for the rest, they were yours after all. 

Opening the box carefully so you didn’t drop the box and whatever was in your hands.

You shoved the whistle cookie in your mouth. You may do girl things but you eat like a grown man, especially a football player.

Not even 10 seconds after swallowing the cookie your throat started to feel dry and you couldn’t breath 

(Give me a break today this is all going to be in mine right now)

“Shit. There’s no strawberries in these, unless.” You picked up a cookie and broke it in half. “What kind of psycho put strawberries in chocolate? I- I need to get t-to the house”

***

You basically pushed everyone aside who tried to greet you and rushed to the kitchen.

“Ayy, Y/n how’s my favorite Halstead sibling doing” Kelly joked

Jay hit Kelly in the elbow hard. “C'mon man it was a joke, I can have favorites”

“Nah, I see how it is, guess I’m never bringing food over here again. And you can keep Y/n forever then” Jay shrugged.

“I was just trying to cheer her up, she looks upset” Kelly usually payed attention to

Your face whenever you came in. He would know if it was ok to make jokes or he needed to pull you to the side and talk to you. Right now you are upset but that’s because you weren’t processing anything.

But clearly ignoring everyone was for nothing because you barely made it to your drawer of the kitchen before you fell and your backpack cushioned your fall.

At least you didn't  hit  your head.

“Y/n you good?” Jay stood up from the chair he was sitting at. This was so unlike you. You always came in and said “Hi” or “Hello” to everyone whether or not you were having a bad day

“Y/n?… SHIT Y/N!”Jay screamed 

“Take her back pack off,” Matt said. “What’s wrong with her? She turning blue”. Someone else’s voice came out from the other 10 voices.

“Give her CPR or something” Jay spoke as Kelly was rubbing your sternum.

“Jay we don’t know what’s wrong with her let alone why she’s turning blue it could be the cold” Kelly said “cmon y/n come back to us”

“I DONT CARE TJATS MY FUCKING SISTER WHOS DYING.” Jay roared.

Hailey practically runs in due to all the commotion with Stella and Sylvie right behind her

Sylvie and Stella ran over to you and started assessing you while Stella started CPR.

Hailey walked over your bag which was thrown a few feet away from you and decided to go pick it up, to help out.

Hailey picked up the box and your backpack so it was out of the way but when she looked in the box she saw something that she thought you wouldn’t have. 

“Shit, where does Y/n keep all her stuff in here�� Hailey was looking at both Sylvie and Stella but she hoped at least both of them would answer.

“Uhh bottom drawer far left”

Hailey rummaged through the draw until she found a tube with a bright orange tip. And sprinted to you and pushed everyone out of the way.

As everyone was yelling at Hailey like she was crazy she rolled up your pant legs and Jabbed the Epi Pen in the middle of your thigh.

“HAILEY ARE YOU CRAZY? WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER” Jay screamed 

“Strawberries- she had strawberries” She sighed

***

My head feels like it’s underwater

Everything seems so muffled 

What-what happened?

Your eyes flutter open and immediately shut them due to the light.

“C'mon y/n come on back to us” a soft voice says

“Give her space guys” as time goes on the voices get louder and it forces you to open your eyes. 

“Just rest, we’re not gonna push you to talk, we’ll talk at home. We’re gonna leave soon”

Hailey had to go home while you were passed out because she had an early shift tomorrow so Will drove over to the firehouse to come and get both you and Jay.

“How is she?” Jay looked in his rear view mirror to see you guys.

Will checked your pulse again and looked at the watch on his wrist “her pulse is better but her breathing is slow, I might give her oxygen when we get home”

“Why would she eat strawberries?” 

“They were cookie Jay, maybe she didn’t know. It happens” 

“Well it better have been an accident or me her are gonna have a serious talk” Jay grumbled 

“Don’t be to harsh on her”

****

You woke up around 5:30 am and couldn’t go back to sleep, and the one thing you hated the oxygen.

You’d much rather have the nasal one but you can’t exactly argue with adults on what’s better for your health so you just have to deal with the mask. 

Eventually it got hot and you got bored since you couldn’t find your phone. You assumed it was still at the firehouse or Jay had it.

You dragged your little tank/ machine across the room and grabbed your comforter (the very top blanket on your bed) and your pillows and one stuffed animal  and stuffed them into the bathtub and you found your laptop and you put on your favorite show.

This was better than being in your bed. 

Will woke up to the sounds of Jay screaming in his ear. So much for trying to sleep in.

“Wake up, Y/n’s gone she’s not in her bed” Jay almost screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Are you crazy? Check her bathroom, I found her sleeping in there one time after a reaction and I heard sounds coming from there this morning” Will turned his back to Jay.

Jay ran into your bathroom which was connected to your bedroom and what he saw made his heart melt. 

*** 

“Here’s the real story, the PTO had a cookie drive where you could buy cookies for your friends and stuff like that and they would put it in your locker and we would find them, mine had a note that just said that “thanks for being great friend, don’t worry there’s no strawberries” Okay, so maybe you lied a little but it’s better than jay beating up some poor boy.

“Did it say from who?” Jay asked in his detective tone

“Nope, and I’m pretty sure Hailey told me she threw the box away while I was passed out” you shrugged.

“I guess it’s fine, maybe the PTO forgot. It’s not like anyone hurt you on purpose so it's fine. Right jay” Will sent Jay that look to just drop this subject this one time.

“Yeah right…” Jay picked at his pancakes. He wanted to look into it more but Hailey would kill him.

But… the laughing and the image of you guys faded into his mind.

Flashback end… (WHAT?!??)

Will realized it, it was Milly. Milly was somewhat an old friend of yours and he remembered the day you said you told her that you were allergic to strawberries when she was over. You’ve only been allergic for around a year and half. There hadn’t been anyone else you told. 

Except for Milly…

Will shot up from the couch, grabbed his keys from the bowl and ran outside to his car.

Will attempted to call Jay but he didn’t answer. So he was probably out with Hailey. 

“Jay when you get this meet me at the Jail they have Y/n immediately. There’s not a lot of time” 

***

“Uhh yeah, I just opened my locker and they were there. I didn’t think anything of it, I guess I was just excited” You shrugged.

“Did you tell anyone else about your allergy other than Milly” Jay spoke

“No, not until after the incident, I honestly don’t remember much from that day, but I don't really care to be honest.” You shrugged once again.

“Y/n listen to me, you’re going to have another court date. You’re going to tell everyone exactly what you told us. We’ll get security footage from the school and we’ll also get statements from everyone at the house” You’re lawyer was pretty strict and prescient on getting you out.

It wasn’t the first time someone has gone against Milly in court and you’re lawyer had won 4 cases against 2 

***

1 year and 7 months ago

“Well well well isn’t it the detective's little sister?” 

“What did I do not milly?” You sighed.

“Nothing, I just wanna make your life a living hell. Your brother is horrible and if I can’t do anything to him I might as well hurt what’s best to him, his little sister-.” Milly had a smirk on her face.

“Please Milly, I’m just trying to fix my makeup” you rolled your eyes and looked back at the mirror.

“Let’s see if make up can fix this” before you could ask her what she meant when you felt stinging on your right eye.

“WHAT THE FUCK MILLY, WHATS YOUR PROBLEM?” You screamed.

“It’s not you I have a problem with. It’s your brother's little squad.” She spits as the rest of her group come in and corner you.

A kick from behind throws you to the ground. 

As you try to fight back Milly and get friends they overpower you as it’s 1v5 

(And yes this happened at my school but in the hallways❤️)

After a few more kicks to the stomach one of the girls speaks up. 

“Let’s go, don’t kill her.”

“You’re off the hook for now Halstead.” She kicks you once more in the stomach and you cry out in pain.

***

As soon as you got home you peaked behind the wall to see if Jay was watching Tv to make sure the coast was clear. Nothing 

You ran to your room and to your bathroom.

You pulled open your draw of Makeup and crabbed your concealer. 

(I don’t wear much makeup yet so give me break on how it works😭)

“Y/n? Are you good in there?” Jay knocked on the door

“Yeah, yeah just fixing something” you replied 

“Alright, Will called and asked if you wanted to go out for dinner” 

That made you freeze. You can’t go out like this… Will and Jay could tell the signs of when you used too much makeup. 

“Uhh, I don’t really feel like it. Can her just pick up chick fil a or something” 

“Are you ok? You love going out” Dam it Jay, did you really have to pick a being detective as your job.

“Yeah, I rather just hang out with you guys tonight y'know”

“Alright I’ll call him”

***

“Y/nnnn… Y/N”

“Is this one of those seizure things she used to have when she had that head injury?” Jay whispers to will

“No, it doesn't look like it. I’m hoping it’s not because I will sue this place down if they let her get a head injury and didn’t let any of us know.” Will grits that last part between his teeth.

“Y/N!” A voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, tell them in court got it. I gotta go bye”

“Alright, call me if you need to schedule anything or if anything happens” your lawyer stood up from the chair.

“Yeah thanks Chris” both Jay and Will got up and shook his hand and walked out.

“What was that about” Will mumbled

“I don’t know, Y/ns strange but you never know what’s going up in that head of hers.” Jay shrugged as he walked down the steps.

Just three weeks left Will said to himself, three weeks. And then you could go back to school. You missed a whole school year so you would be a year behind all of your friends. 

How could Jay not care, he hadn’t fought or visited you as much as he did. 

He would talk to him when they got back to his apartment. This was gonna be another fight 

“Jay?” 

“Yes will”Jay hummed

“You seem to not care about y/n all you do is sit her all day and watch these stupid games” 

“First of all the games aren’t stupid, and second of all how dare you say that I don’t care about her. It seems like you don’t care about her”

“ME? Oh no you sit here and go to the district come back home and drink like your Addict” 

“And you? Don’t act so innocent. You’ve been sitting there on your couch rotting away when you’re not at work” Jay scoffed

“At Least I’m trying to help, I’m trying to read about how we can help Y/n. Do you ever use your brain or are you so fucked up inside? You gonna turn up like dad if you don’t check yourself” Will shoved his finger in Jays chest.

Jay flung wills hand away. “Watch who you’re talking to. Don’t bother  coming over. And you can have y/n when she gets out since I don’t care about her. Now get the hell out of my house”

Like I said, the Halstead siblings are falling apart.

***

January 29th 2024

Court date

“All rise” Everyone stood up as the judge walked into the room

Will,Jay and your lawyer Chris had given you a talk on behaving and doing exactly what they said.

You were gonna follow through with those rules but you had something else in mind to add. A way that everyone would see the true face of Milly.

***

“I have a question for my client”

“During your first court, Ms. Taylor accused you of abusing her over the months, and looking over CCTV footage from your so called confrontation Michelle walked over to Ms Halstead instead and she threw the first punch. If you had looked at the cameras you would have seen it”

Milly looked astonished that someone had said her real legal name and not Milly. 

“MR. Olsen, I did look at the security cameras and I saw what I saw” The judge shrugged.

You had enough, the judge kept lying, Milly kept telling fake stories and everyone wans´t helping.

“I’ve had enough” You stood up. “Y/n what hell are you doing sit down” Jay yelled in a whisper.

“Back off Jay, Your name isn’t Milly Parker. It's Michelle. Isn’t that right? Ms, Taylor? There’s video proof of everything and every single one of your group of friends. You think I haven’t had an outsider for months? Giving me all the information I know right now. I knew it was you who tried to Kill me with the cookies. I got video permission and I saw it. Best part is I didn’t even have to wait for you to be proven wrong in a couple of years because IT'S ALL HERE. YOUR A FUCKING SNAKE, A LIAR AND BITCH”

Jay and Hailey got up and pulled you out of the courtroom before security did it themselves. 

“Y/n are you crazy, you’re going to end up getting more Time in jail” 

“You don’t understand Jay, she’s the one who hit me first. She’s the one who gave those strawberry Cookies” You cried.

Jay pulled you into a hug, so you wouldn’t run off and he could comfort you. “It’s alright, you’re ok. I’ll figure it out.” “Go get that footage on that screen, if they try to stop you someone named Harrison Butler will help you” Jay whispered to Hailey and she nodded back.

“Y/n I’m gonna leave you with Kevin for 5 minutes while I talk to Will about something really quick. Is that ok?” He could feel you nodding in his chest. 

***

“Natalie, It’s Jay. I need you to send Y/ns medical records from when we came for a check up after she had a reaction”

Jay kept humming in response when Natalie kept asking questions

“Alright thank you” 

“I’m getting super tired of the crazy shit” Jay mumbled to himself. 

***

“You need to listen to me. When you go in there don’t get up and scream, don’t accuse, don’t exaggerate. Stick to what Voight told you” Jay was on your level giving you a pep talk. This was the final court session. It would be decided who was guilty and who wasn’t. “Do you understand?”

“Yes. If I get to go home can I get McDonald’s?” It was worth asking.

“Of course y/n. I’ll buy you all the McDonald’s you want and whatever you want.” 

“Y/n it’s time, let’s go” Your lawyer Chris came out.

 ***

“Can Ms. Y/n Halstead come up” The judge “would please tell your side of the story to settle this once and for all.”

After the longest speech of your life which was almost 40 minutes. And other people are coming up to talk. A decision was made.

“I sentence Michelle Taylor 30 years for attempted murder, 10 years for fraud and 3 years for assault.” 

“For Y/n Halsted, she and her family will be compensated 10 thousands from the star and 25 thousand from the Taylor family from what she has been through.” You looked at Jay with a shocked face, that was a ton of money. “Case closed.” The Jude spoke. Everyone around you started clapping and cheering. 

People from your school who had also been affected by Milly were there, News stations, Your family from Med, Fire and Pd. The whole state had heard about your story and it finally worked, people came out told their stories with Milly and this Past year of Hell was over. 

You won

***

Now in the car With Jay and Will you guys were one of the last to leave since people were interviewing you guys like crazy. You were starving for something, not prison food. 

“Can I have McDonald’s now?” 

Jay and Will looked at each other and then looked back at you “taking that as a yes, I’m tired of prison food so let’s go”

***

IT'S OVER, I don’t know if I’m gonna pick this up and add to it again but I want to say I’ve been adding to this every now then since late December early January ish.

I love this and now I can focus on working on some other stuff I have to write😁

Sorry it took so long as well. I wanted to make it good but I got tired of writing this like 2 weeks ago so it’s kinda bad.

Love yall so much and thank you for all the support

[mamimiou]

Does anyone else’s heart break a little for Pepito or is it just me? I really thought he would be closer to Richarlyson because they’re siblings but apparently not. I sometimes get tired of the moments he gets jealous over sharing time with his parents and pepito, it kinda makes him a hypocrite to me.

For each of Pepitos meetings with his parents he has come in and made the attention split between the two, if not even, focus it on himself. I think Q!Carre has been the only one to not give into it and even went on to say that Richarlyson was being a big hater when they talked about the plushies Pepito had. I absolutely mean no hate, but it’s just so boring to see all the time. I guess it just hits more because it’s a sibling dynamic (I also get this way with Tallulah and Chayanne), but I think that is unfair because he also pops on and gets in when Q!Roier is alone with Pepito. Even though it would upset him if it was the other way around and Pepito was invading his space with Q!Cell. It just makes me sad for Pepito because he has to deal with the only active parent he has already having multiple dead kids, and now it’s this constant sharing and there’s not enough building between them. Like last night, Pepito tried to get his attention for the daily routine they have before he logs out but Richarlyson just started spam clicking to get his attention. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that feels this way lol.

I think I just got so used to how Q!Foolish was with both Pepito and Leonarda the same time that it kinda just made me idk.

It also honestly makes me sad for Empanada a little too, she has to share her mother. And sometimes, Q!Bagi focuses on Richarlyson more.

He’s been so off lately, like how he acted with Q!Pac over Hideduo, now I’m just wondering if there’s any reasoning behind all of it?

As well as the recent event of him destroying Sunny and Leonarda’s Farm. I just don’t understand, even if I saw his explanation. I think I understood Tallulahs approach more. There was no need to use Leonarda’s farm as a lesson. There would’ve been so much hate for Sunny if she had done something like to Richarlyson.

As someone who’s favorite egg was Bobby, I can see that there are some similarities, because Bobby used to upset others and even burned things down, but he’d get in trouble for it and no one puts a stop to Richarlyson.

I just wonder if there is some lore context that I am missing to understand why he is acting this way.

At the end of the day, there’s no reason to even be upset about it because Pepito is probably not even making it to March, and nothing will even change in this dynamic, but it is still upsetting to see.

[h-didanart]

So Nexus

I have been thinking a bit about my aus and decided to try and see how Nexus and their arc could potentially fit in them, as an experiment. And these results were actually pretty interesting! I like a few of these ideas and think I’m going to actively incorporate them into the aus, tho I’ll let y’all guess which ones those are :)

Man, Aus are fun

Your eyes are not deceiving you, those are indeed the Bloodmoons in Nexus and Moon’s place, not the weirdest swap in that au surprisingly.

Anyways, the first twins would be absolutely merciless in their taunts to the newer ones, just ruthless, utterly unforgiving. New BM would kinda get a bit self conscious and offended, tho I can see them taking up that suggestion and fully leaning into the plague thematic (this only came to be because I ironically called them The Plague after I drew this… it isn’t ironic anymore), might also be because of that obedience code they have though , honestly I’m not sure yet to be honest :P

(I have to talk about this au at some point lol)

This one was extra fun cuz I already had a concept for the Evil!Sun of the au and it actually kinda fits really well for a ‘Morningstar villain arc’!

In short, Dawn is a Moon that kidnaps adopts other Suns cuz he killed his and has lived with the guilt ever since, he wants to keep them safe and away from any sort of danger, Solar fucking hates him for trying to kidnap their Sun (yes Solar as in Nice!Eclipse is in the au, I’ll explain later) Morningstar would leave to team up with him to find a way to fix their little sibling who was affected by the multidimensional thing but didn’t die

Ok, now we have the not so silly stuff

I was struck with quite an idea for Get in Losers, since Old Moon didn’t die there’d be no need for a New Moon… unless someone else was counting on New Moon’s existence and decided to take things into his own hands.

So there’s an extra moon in the daycare, one “raised” by the Creator, and he’s treated well and all but is he really wanted there? It certainly doesn’t feel like it. At a point after the multidimensional event happens they’d have a breakdown over their identity, they aren’t needed, they aren’t Moon, then who are they?

One thing I feel the need to share with y’all about this is that Dusk would be watching all the drama in the dimension go down like the soap opera it is, and at the point of Nexus’s breakdown he’d just be staring at the lunar model while eating fries. It’s all entertainment for him

[Nexus’s blurry dialogue reads: You know nothing of what I’m trying to do, of what I’m going through. So stop acting as if you cared about him, we both know you didn’t. Now you’re going to stay put in your cell until I’ve got this all ready. And then you’ll finally do some good with that pathetic life of yours]

And, of course, the longest one is for Bloody and Harvest, why wouldn’t it?

Solar’s death was not only extremely unexpected, but it was also extremely hard hitting for everyone. Bloodmoon kinda just “accepted” it after a while. Solar is gone, they will never see him again, there’s nothing to do about it. They avoid the subject as much as they can besides that. Until Nexus kidnaps them. He has a plan to bring Solar back using them as a sacrifice. And this greatly upsets them. They see no point to it, moreover they reason that Nexus is just blinded by grief, so they attempt to talk to the bot.

It does not go well.

They still managed to escape the situation however, carrying weapons around turning out to be useful for once. Bloody is lowkey kinda mad they actually had to use the taser gun though. They leave Nexus locked up in that place and go tell the Daycare idiots what just happened, and then they take a really long vacation far away from that place, maybe go to some mountains or something. Would Nexus track them again? I’d like to think not.

Tho the saddest thing about this that I thought of was the fact that had Nexus not kidnapped them and actually explained the plan, Bloodmoon might have considered it.

I had a lot of fun with this ngl, feel free to leave your thoughts, I’d love to hear y’all screaming at me over the emotional heartache I’m causing :D

[aemondsbabe]

If you want to share, thoughts on tonight's episode? As usual, Aemond's scenes especially and how they affect who he is?

I really don't wanna see him as someone who only cares about himself or is apathetic :/ but idk... What do you think?

putting my answers under the cut bc they contain spoilers from the newest ep and will probably be long bc idk when to shut up (◡‿◡✿)

first small council scene:

i’m only going to be speaking about his interactions with alicent in that scene, particularly the bit at the very end where he and alicent are alone! idc about those other men, so sorry!!!!

anyway.

after they’re alone, he asks alicent of her place on the council. she reminds him. he says viserys is dead without fanfare or remorse, no pause, no thinking — dead. which makes sense.

however, there is quite a pregnant pause when he gets to aegon. if aemond truly wanted his brother dead, truly meant to hurt him, and didn’t care that he had succeeded, idk why he’d pause there or act as if he cared. maybe because alicent is there but even that i doubt a little — he doesn’t hold himself back from saying anything else in her presence and she (probably) thinks he hurt aegon on purpose already so it doesn’t make sense to me why he wouldn’t just say that, whether it’s true or not.

like the guy looks visibly uncomfortable talking about aegon’s condition. if he didn’t care for aegon, at least a little, and if he wanted him dead…. why would he care now that he’s hurt? why would that make him uncomfortable? he doesn’t even know at this point that aegon’s regained consciousness, that doesn’t come until later in the episode, so it isn’t a matter of “aegon’s awake and i’m scared of what he’ll say.”

later in this same conversation, alicent cups his cheek and the emotion on his face is a lil staggering dare i say. the man was near tears. in my mind, this is him very clearly mourning the relationship he once had with his mother. i think he feels compelled to punish her in a way because i think he sees her actions as of late as abandonment.

again, i go back to that conversation he had with criston in episode 1. he’s upset that alicent is giving rhaenyra any leeway. rhaenyra, the mother of the boys that took his eye. rhaenyra, the woman who wanted him tortured. rhaenyra, the woman who threatens his family. of course alicent giving her any grace would hurt him deeply, especially since she was the only one who stood up for him that night.

if anything, i think aemond’s main source of pain right now is alicent. i think much of his actions and inactions this entire season have hinged on alicent. which is quite tragic and lovely at the same time idk.

anyway.

the scene with aegon:

i’ve made this point before and i’m making it again because this scene further solidified it for me: i think the entire thing with aegon is brothers bickering.

again, those brothers are powerful people. a king and a prince — both with dragons — so it’s different than the sibling bickering we’re used to but i still think that’s what it is.

again, aemond couldn’t premeditate hurting aegon. he didn’t know he and sunfyre would be at rook’s rest. he didn’t even know meleys and rhaenys would be at rook’s rest. i think that little groan he did when he saw aegon fly in, and him calling him and idiot, was him essentially going “you fucking idiot i told you this was stupid and here you are being stupid.” i don’t think it was necessarily malicious — aemond quite clearly thinks highly of himself and his abilities and is pretty quick to look down on others he deems lesser in any way. i think that was aemond being aemond.

i’m not going to sit here and say that he was an angel to go to aegon and that the scene between them was so cute and soft because it wasn’t.

BUT.

i think it’s brothers bickering. it reminded me heavily of when you’re fighting with a sibling and you hit them too hard and now they’re crying and mom is literally walking over and we have to get the story straight because you are NOT getting me in trouble!!! it gave those vibes.

aside from that, i think much of aemond’s character revolves around how he looks to others and how he is perceived. if he came out and just said “what happened with aegon was an accident and i feel bad,” that’s him 1) admitting fault and admitting he made a mistake and 2) in his mind, that’s him being vulnerable and non threatening and therefore, we cannot do that.

if anything, i think he’s playing into the fact that i’m sure that more than a few people think he hurt aegon on purpose and using that to his advantage in order to seem more formidable and scary and vicious. that’s why i wish we got more scenes of him being genuinely vulnerable whether it’s more brothel scenes or more scenes of him just by himself — to give us a glimpse of actual not put upon aemond because i think that aemond is worlds different than how he presents himself in public.

again, i think he cares deeply about very many things and doesn’t have a healthy, effective way of showing that.

thank you anon for coming to my tedtalk i am sorry this is literally like a whole novel 😭😅🩷

[heavyhitterheaux]

Idk if you are still accepting concepts for First Lady verse but I have one. The triplets are in there teens like 17 and Axel bring a couple of friends over. His tell him that they have a crush on his mom and telling him how hot she is and how if they had the chance they would hit it ! Jack over hears it and steps in and tells them that’s not how they talk about girls let alone women and just gives them a sad talk about respecting women!

Thank you

“Ax, babe!” You said while walking into the living room where he and all of his friends were playing 2K on his xbox.

“Yes, mom?”

“Can you reach up on the top shelf and get me something from the cabinet in the kitchen? I don’t want to bother your dad because he’s busy.”

“Sure, I’m coming.” He said while pausing the game, but what you didn’t notice was that there were multiple sets of eyes on you from the minute you stepped into the room. 

“Heyyy, Mrs. Harlow.”

“Hi boys, are you staying for dinner?” You asked and they all eagerly nodded their heads yes.

“If you’re cooking then of course. I’m tired of eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at my dad’s. He can’t cook.” Anthony, who is Axel’s best friend, said in response.

“Hmm, sounds like my husband.” You muttered and Axel immediately stifled a laugh. 

Axel walked into the kitchen with you and you pointed to what you needed before he grabbed it with ease and simply put it on the counter behind you and proceeded to give you a light pat on your head and laughed and you immediately tried to swat his hand away.

“Dad wasn’t lying, you do walk around here like you’re 6’3, but barely 5 feet.”

“He said that?!”

“Oops.”

“That’s fine, I got something for him when he comes back upstairs from being in the studio.”

“Look, I’m innocent and it wasn’t me.”

“Oh no you don’t. You’re going down right along with him.” You said as you were looking in the cabinets below to figure out which pan you wanted to use that would be big enough for what you were making as Axel made his way back into the living room. 

“Yo Ax, I have the biggest crush on your mom, she’s gorgeous.”

“Me too and she’s definitely a MILF.”

“Let me get the opportunity just one time, I’m hitting that.”

“I see why your dad got her pregnant so many times.”

“Okay, chill. That’s my mom you’re talking about.” Axel responded while shaking his head in disbelief and getting defensive. One thing he didn’t play about was people disrespecting his mother, father, or any of his siblings. 

“We know and I thought that was already established.”

“Don’t do that because it’s not only disgusting but disrespectful towards her.”

“We’re just playing, Ax. No need to get upset.” Brandon said while holding his hands up in defense while they suddenly heard Jack’s voice.

“I know that I didn’t just hear what I think I heard.” He said while coming into the living room and it immediately got quiet.

“Uhh…”

“What we don’t do under my roof is disrespect women, especially my wife. I know all of your parents and I know for a fact that you were raised better than that.”

“Mr. Harlow…” Anthony started to say, but he immediately cut him off.

“Turn the game off now, because it’s clear that this needs to be addressed.”

Without hesitation, Anthony, who was the closest to the console, turned the game off and Jack simply sat down across from them.

“I admit that when I was your age that I was guilty of doing the same thing, however, I was already with Y/N so that’s not 100% accurate, but that is exactly how the people around me would talk about women. It is not only disgusting but disrespectful like Axel said and there is absolutely no reason for you to talk about the opposite sex like that. They’re human beings who also have feelings and they’re not just some object. Think about how you would feel if someone talked about your mothers the way you all are talking about Ax’s.”

“We were just joking.” Brandon said quietly, but Jack simply shook his head.

“But were you though? Because it didn’t sound like it and it’s nothing to joke about. Women deserve respect for everything they do and put out into this world whether you agree with it or not. Your mothers didn’t spend hours of being in labor with your big ass heads to have you come out into the world and act like this. Women literally make the world go round and we would cease to exist without them. How do any of you expect to get and keep a girlfriend or eventually get married if that’s what you want if you act like this?”

“Well, if we were to get married, it would stop.”

“It needs to stop now. Being young is not an excuse. We’ve been married for almost 28 years and it definitely wouldn’t have lasted this long if I was continuously disrespectful towards her. From this point forward all of you need to do better and apologize to her when she comes back in here.”

Just then you walked back into the living room to look for Jack since he wasn’t in the studio when you went down there to look for him.

“Hey smush, when did you come up here? Anyway, is PG coming over for dinner too? That means that I need to run to the store to get more ingredients. I told Jess to make three tres leches cakes and Blanca is making chocoflan. Do you think that’s enough?” You asked while leaning down to kiss the top of his curls.

“Been up here for a few minutes and I think they are. Tell Jess to make four because knowing Urban he wants to have one to himself and Blanca probably needs to make four too.”

“Okay, let me just make the list…”

“Mom, we can go to the store for you.” Axel said and you immediately eyed him.

“Are you sure? It’s a lot.”

“Yeah, we got it.”

“Okay, I’ll send you the list and make sure you take daddy’s credit card.”

“WHAT?!” Jack exclaimed and you immediately laughed as Axel held out his hand towards him.

All he did was sigh before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet.

“Remember happy wife, happy life, dad.”

“Mmm hmm. Stick to the list and get me another bottle of ranch” Jack said and you immediately rolled your eyes.

“Oh, and Mrs. Harlow we’re sorry.” Anthony said and you looked at him confused.

“For what, sweetheart?”

“For being disrespectful towards you and talking about you like you’re an object. Mr. Harlow overheard us and set us straight.”

“Oh. Well you’re forgiven. Just remember all of you would literally crumble without us. Do better moving forward and realize everyone deserves respect.”

“We understand.”

Axel grabbed his keys and the rest of his friends followed him out the door when you simply looked over at Jack before he pulled you into his lap.

“Was it that bad?” You quietly asked and Jack simply nodded.

“Bad enough and I never want anyone talking about you like that and I overhear it. All of them looked like they were about to shit themselves when they saw me and found out I overheard what they were saying.”

“I’m so happy that Ax has such a good daddy to look up to.” You said while leaning down to kiss him.

“He was the one trying to get them to stop, too.”

“I figured. My baby doesn’t play about his mama.”

“And I don’t play about my wife. I love you, baby.”

“I love you too. So much.” You said while leaning down to give him several pecks.

“We need to start planning what we want to do for our 30th wedding anniversary. Damn, you’ve been with me for that long?!”

“34 in total and yes. Wouldn’t have it any other way and we’re going for that many more.”

“Still remember when I first saw that pretty girl with braids in her hair across the street from me.”

“And it was the blue eyes and freckles for me.”

The two of you were sitting in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before you spoke up again.

“Baby, did you say that I walk around here like I’m 6’3 even though I’m barely five feet?”

“Who… who told you that?!”

“Your second born.”

“Imma kick his ass, he wasn’t supposed to say anything!”

[nerves-nebula]

I sometimes get uncomfortable around arguments about if certain characters are abusive or not- obviously I see this the most with 2012 tmnt and nobody really needs my opinion but I keep thinking about it so here’s some words to chew on.

Keep in mind I haven’t seen much of 2012 so I’ll mostly be talking about the WAY I see these discussions being had here, rather than the show itself.

I doubt the creators intended for the turtles to be abusive and I kind of just assume that everything they do is within the genre of slapstick kids show. But I also don’t think people who cringe away from the way they treat each other are reading too much into it.

I’ve seen people argue that ppl who think the brothers are abusive just don’t have siblings and that’s an insane take to me. Obviously its probably hyperbole in some instances but as someone with more siblings than most of the people I know, I 100% see the abuse reading of this series. It’s a very obvious idea to latch onto for me as someone who HAS been abused by my siblings- and who’s probably been abusive too.

The main thing that really gets under my skin is when people point out how much the turtles actually care about each other as evidence against abuse. Cause that doesn’t make any sense ??? you can abuse people you love and care about deeply.

And it really rubs me the wrong way when I see a post that’s like Raph can’t be abusive because he does X nice/cute things with Mikey or something like. That’s not how abuse works. You guys have to know that right?? Abuse isn’t just a person being mean 24/7 without pause.

A bit of a tangent coming up, but growing up, I really hated Mabel from gravity falls. not because she is inherently any more annoying or selfish or anything than other characters but because the way she treated dipper was extremely triggering for me as a child with a lot of anxiety. Like if Mabel was real and my sibling, I would’ve considered a lot of the shit she did abusive. Obviously I’m normal about her now cause I’m not 12 anymore but the biggest hurdle about watching that show when I was younger was that I would sometimes be brought to tears of frustration, imagining how scared and distressed I’d be if Mabel did that shit to me.

THE POINT of this tangent is that saying “the 2012 turtles aren’t abusive because I do that stuff with my siblings all the time/cause teenage boys are just like that” isn’t a genuine critique because abuse isn’t just about the action it’s about the relationship. Punching your sibling who’s actually ok with being punched isn’t abuse. Punching your sibling who really doesn’t want you to, and who you KNOW really doesn’t want you to, and who you KNOW would be genuinely upset by being punched? That is abuse.

And I find it annoying because I think we’re all aware that abuse was likely not the intent of the show. (Probably not even the text of the show but once again can’t say for sure) Maybe some dysfunction for drama, but probably not abuse, so you’re really just arguing against someone’s headcanon/personal interpretation of this show. And it’s like.. ok you have a different reading cool I guess.

In the show they aren’t treated as abusive, but fandoms are built around exploring different aspects of art that weren’t explored in canon. So I guess idk why this is a big deal.

Idk I think people have this idea that abusive = evil and always wrong. But abuse is just someone hurting you repeatedly and refusing to stop for whatever reason.

And with a show like 2012 where it’s all played for laughs it can be hard to tell if that’s how they are with each other because they’re ok with it or if that’s how they are cause they don’t know any other way. The turtles are kind of really mean in 2012, and wether that’s a familiarity kind of meanness or not is up to you in fandom, yknow?

Does Mikey actually consider Raph hitting him as like a fun part if their banter or is he coping with jokes about being physically abused? You decide! Like genuinely it can be either and I think that’s fun!

I mean obviously you all know what i’d pick, but that’s because I’m blissfully aware of what I want out of stories and what i want is nuanced discussions of abuse.

Personally, I acted very similarly to the 2012 turtles when living with my siblings, but I didn’t actually fucking like it. It was a defense mechanism because being genuine would only be met with ridicule. So I’m not inclined to agree that it’s fine because it’s just what they do.

Once again though, I doubt it was on purpose. And if you don’t think that they’re abusive then congrats! The show probably doesn’t either! So I just don’t see why people get super upset about it. Don’t you love that someone got a different story out of the same media??

Anyway obviously it doesn’t super matter and I don’t really have a horse in this race. I just got a bit annoyed with the way abuse is discussed and as a hobbyist Abuse Analyst I thought I’d weigh in.

I wrote this instead of going to sleep and it’s sooo late and also so much longer that I meant for it to be… y’all better not have bad takes in response or I’ll be annoyed as hell tomorrow morning, guh.

[gothsuguru]

ok. genuine thoughts. i’m upset that this was the route taken… i just think that it would’ve been more impactful had it actually BEEN satoru/hell even if it was sukuna’s mind playing tricks on him… bc it would’ve been instilling fear/doubt in sukuna’s mind which has never been done by anyone else before! also… i just wish it was JUST satoru himself. like i love yuuta and if it HAD to be anyone overtaking satoru’s body, i mean i’m glad it was yuuta and not kenjaku bc at least you know there’s no maliciousness involved! but it’s like… it’s so burdensome. to yuuta to have to do this and live w this fact + satoru said he doesn’t care what happens to his dead body but idk i just would think that gege would leave gojo’s body ALONE. gojo’s body should’ve never been on the playing field of “being used” i think he should’ve been the exception… having someone else inside THE gojo satoru’s body is just idk i don’t like that writing choice…

also. wouldn’t it have been more impactful if either:

1) sukuna AND yuji saw gojo and didn’t know what the hell was going on? sukuna feeling doubt at what he’s seeing and yuji feeling doubt/relief? because that’s HIS sensei. even if it was a mirage i think it would’ve been better than what we got if i’m being honest

2) and this is my own PERSONAL wish. i just wish that satoru would have chosen north and reached enlightenment/chose his students and pushed forward. bc that’s what makes satoru, SATORU. the youth. the future. his students. him losing the six eyes and not being “the strongest” anymore but it doesn’t matter bc his students got HIS back and he has THEIRS. hell even if he keeps his six eyes and just reaches enlightenment to GET stronger would be totally fine too! bc guess what… megumi is STILL inside sukuna. like i think gege fucking forgot about him -> in turn satoru doesn’t mention megumi… which is INSANITY bc he RAISED that boy. satoru raised megumi longer than toji did. like… idk.

there’s just personally so many things i’d do differently and it’s not even about “subverting expectations” i think gege should still service the story/characters without always caring about what Crazy Subversion he can do… bc then you end up LOSING the ideals/personality of the characters themselves!

idk man… i’m beyond glad we got gojo panels and i’m glad yuuta is back but also… it isn’t yuuta in his own body 😭 and also i feel like we should’ve gotten more yuji/yuuta team up… and ANOTHER also. i didn’t feel anything when choso died like………. gege is so casually killing characters off and it doesn’t even service the plot it’s just useless… so there’s no EMOTION behind it. which is crazy bc i love choso and i should’ve been wailing when he died but there just wasn’t any build up… :/ also. i’m still mad about the twin theory not being real. uncle/nephew is one thing but twin theory would have been PERFECT. same with gojo losing six eyes/reaching white light enlightenment idc either one. also suguru would absolutely be the type of man who would tell satoru to go forward and go north… same w nanami. nanami would want yuji protected at all costs… AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON GOJO BARELY EMOTING WHEN NANAMI DIED!!!!!! ok now i’m just ranting abt my qualms w the manga. anyways. i’m curious what happens but like… these chapters don’t HIT like how hidden inventory/yuji higu fight hit… like atp bring back toji again i think he’d team up w yuji to bring his son back like we lost the plot…

but also. anyone being mad at yuuta you have critical thinking/reading issues… like yuuta is doing all of this out of desperation he has no other choice 😭 you can’t fight sukuna by being all sweet and humane like… i fear you gotta get monstrous to deal w a demon like him. yuji ate his siblings. there’s just heinous shit you gotta do to deal with this type of man and that’s what you have to do… again it’s the tie in of being a “monster” and feeling like you have no other options: aka something that ALL jjk characters (gojo, geto, toji, yuji, megumi, nanami) had to DO. you’ll have to do things you don’t want to in order to secure a safer future for your loved ones. like damn i hate that gege wrote it like this but alas… what can we do! 😭 just don’t be mean to yuuta or else i’ll fight you idgaf 🤨 but tbh w the way shit is going… if gege kills off yuuta… i’m killing myself. i’m gonna acc drop the manga………….

[upsidedog]

max mayfield is 7 years old, like kelly green and annie johnson, who are her best friends. she isn’t their’s, she knows this. like she knows kelly will live in a mansion, become a princess and drive a lamborghini with her twelve kids and husband, tom simon, her seat partner. kelly’s happy, obviously, she cheated, she always cheats at m.a.s.h, but max is happy for kelly anyway, she tells her. max is marrying annie’s dad, the other girls gag at the idea, she makes a joke about marrying rich “like grandma said my mom should’ve!” max laughs too loud, no response from the girls. “i’m glad she didn’t though cuz i love my dad…” she specifies. this embarrassment doesn’t stop her from squealing at her own barf joke later on, she repeats it in case kelly and ann didn’t hear. “she’s so annoying, do we have to keep hanging out with her? your guy’s moms aren’t even friends anymore.” kelly pleads after recess, max knows they know she can hear them.

max mayfield is 9 years old, she and billy hargrove recently became siblings, legally at least, billy would not call them that, max doesn’t care. and not in the way that she’s feigning chillness to seem on top of things, but in the way that she knows if she plays her cards right she can prove herself as someone worth calling a sister. “that jacket makes you look like a dyke.” billy says, he and his friends pool into the backyard. a month ago she’d ask if she could play with them, but she’s smarter now, she’s no longer a pussy, she’s a dyke, its change, it’s progress, she can work with it. “yeah, even more than usual.” one of the friends adds, everybody laughs. max remains focused on tightening the bolts of her skateboard and uses her free hand to flip the boys off. mentally she prays this is what playful sibling fighting looks like and not an action that will get her deck ripped away from her and broken against the concrete. it’s fine, the boys mock and jeer but don’t say anything she hasn’t heard before. another friend asks if she rides her skateboard or just pretends to be it’s mom. this is in reference to the time she convinced herself the boys were interested in knowing her and earnestly spoke about the mechanics of her skateboard, being too passionate, speaking too much, smiling too wide. all things she has since learned the right amount of is none. “i don’t know.” she gets up. “do you have a life or are you such a dweeb the only time you feel the need to get off your ass is to annoy a little girl with real hobbies?” when she walks off she hears the other boys gang up on him, he’s the new fool, all the other boys were just guilty of the same thing, but whatever. she thinks maybe if she maintains this for a little longer they can return back to the sibling conversation. they don’t even have to call it that, they could just do the part where they’re nice to each other sometimes.

max mayfield is 11 years old. jenny chen is a teenager, fifteen, from san francisco, short black hair, dresses like she’s on the cover of thrasher, first girl max has ever seen at the skate park who isn’t just there to watch. max wants to be her friend so bad it makes her stomach turn. until it happens. “i never see other girls who skate! it’s so cool to meet you, i’m jenny!” max knows. she ignores jenny’s invitation to fist bump. “do you really skate? or are you just someone’s girlfriend?” max knows the answer to the question, but she also knows the ending to this story. jenny pulls her hand back like max hit it. “yeah i skate, but i’m sure the boys here wish.” her laugh is refreshing, max didn’t know that was a thing laughs could be, it was so cool and light and confident, like it reset something in her. max wonders how someone can be so cool without any hit of cruelty, when max tells jenny she has to do a trick to prove it she shrugs and agrees like it wasn’t something said with the intention of upsetting her. jenny does an ollie off on the half pipe and asks if she can see any of max’s tricks. it makes max more upset that there’s no malice in this request, the audacity to show genuine interest in her. max is usually too mean but to jenny she cannot be mean enough. and typically she cannot do an ollie off a half pipe. today is no different. she falls and wakes up in the hospital. billy hands her flowers, rolls his eyes, then goes to wait in the car. max’s mom lets jenny apologize. it’s a real genuine apology, even though she has nothing to be sorry for it still feels good and different. max tells jenny to leave and never sees her at the park again.

max mayfield is 13 years old, she wonders if the group of boys yelling over dig dug are too. her initial annoyance with their hogging of her favorite game has melted into an admiration.. that’s too bold, curiosity, maybe. there’s arguments every other minute but between those there’s “oh wait! oh shit! lucas you genius! you genius!” whoever’s praising “lucas” gets so excited his friend progressed in the game the other boys have to pull him away. when the little one says he can’t see, no one mocks his size, instead the group instinctively makes room for their friend. and they’re all being too loud, too passionate, definitely taking the game too seriously. max wonders what it would be like to have something like that. she wonders how long they have all been friends for. do you have one chance for something like their’s as a child and then never again? has she missed her opportunity? could she even exist in an environment like that or would her cruelness be so sharp it’d cut through any moments tenderness? if she just walked up and asked to join what they’d say? answers for another day. maybe never. probably never.

max mayfield is 15 years old and mike wheeler’s basement is her favorite place in the whole wide world. which is why it’s the ideal location for her birthday party. sure billy is dead and el and will are moving next week, but ignore that, because yes will and el are moving away which is sad because they’re two of her best friends, but they’re two of her best friends, and she’s there’s. el is sitting on the floor with max making stupid jokes and max is clutching a pillow to her stomach, laughing like she’s alone, too much, too loud, dustin joins in and is even worse, she loves it. lucas interrupts, nudging her back with his foot. “this is the part you like.” he mouths, big, stupid, earnest, adorable smile on his face, so proud to remember. she’s proud of him too, swooned might be the better word, if she’s being honest. she likes him so much she wants to shrink herself into something small and accessible for him, but the worst part is that isn’t even what he wants from her. as much as max is trained to see the worst in others, lucas is real and warm and never says anything he doesn’t mean and he says he likes her. “thanks.” is all she can get out, trying not unravel from the affection. her last straw is mike and will marching down the basement stairs singing happy birthday. she’s clenching her teeth, mentally “don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry”-ing. she’s crying. it didn’t work, she’s crying. they’re doing this nice thing and she’s going to ruin the moment because she’s crying, they’re the best friends she’s ever had and she’s crying, they’re the only friends she’s ever had and she’s crying and they’re hugging her and laughing and she’s laughing and oh god, it’s good, she’s crying because she’s loved.

[goldenfreddys]

september ‘04, cont.—what's seen in shadows

“Mornin, son. Now what’s got you out of bed before noon, eh? Something wrong?”

Jeremy could faintly pick up the growl-hiss of his mother’s coffee machine in the background as she spoke. She was ribbing him, of course—with love, which was a phrase that functioned as holy writ. The sounds of home were there in the static, slipper shuffle and the last refrains of a wind chime that would have to be put away before the fall storms hit. Another wave of grief came rolling in.

“Nothing’s wrong.” he murmured.

He cleared his throat, realizing how direly unconvincing his intonation had been.

“Just- uh, just homesick, I guess. I'll be okay.”

His mom’s voice was filled with concern, “I don't wanna pry, baby. Don't make me start prying.”

Silently, Jeremy weighed his options. He couldn’t lie to his mom, but he’d rather cut off his hand and eat it than worry her with his stupid decisions. He heard the low hum of a car pulling into Mike's driveway.

“... I’m not really- I-I don't wanna go into it, yet… But I'm gonna be okay, ma, I promise.”

“Jeremy…”

Footsteps on the porch. This was his chance.

“Listen, I really gotta go, but I'll catch you later, kay? Tell Rita I said hi and that I’m really enjoying the Dykes to Watch Out For strip collection and that Bechdel brings up a lot of interesting viewpoints within modern feminist theory-”

“Jeremy!”

“Love you to the moon and back and maybe as far as Pluto! Bye!”

As soon as he slammed the phone down, he turned and caught someone in his arms. Nadia, he realized with relief. He took a breath and held her tight. Though her running-start-hugs were typically an overzealous habit that had resulted in more than a few dropped dinnerware accidents, it now felt like an immense comfort. It was a long time before either of them let go.

“There’s something I think you need to see, by the way.” Nadia blurted, pulling away with a serious look.

Someone else was standing stiffly in the doorway, a girl in a greasy t-shirt with coveralls tied around her waist. Gusts of cold air flushed in from around her, though she didn’t seem to feel it. She had brown skin and features that seemed familiar though, as usual, Jeremy struggled to pin down if she was someone he knew. Finally, he glanced to Nadia.

“That’s your sister, dude. She’s alive.” Nadia stated, helpfully, as though she were coaching him through the most emotionally ruinous playthrough of Putt-Putt Saves the Zoo since it debuted in 1995 on household computers across America. He could clearly picture a chorus of child-like fanfare and confetti bursting flatly into the air with a big sparkly party banner that read: JUST KIDDING!

“Oh.”

His sibling seemed equally at a loss for words. Frowning, she turned to look at Mike as he shuffled down the hall.

“Hey, Chucky. Shouldn’t you be at work?” Mike asked in a tone of perfect nonchalance.

“We don’t open until nine. Besides, Mrs. Lankauskas wanted to mop the cove,” She paused, pointing at Jeremy, “And that’s him. My long lost twin brother… But I guess you forgot to tell me, right? Like how you forgot to tell me what happened to Tom?”

Jeremy leaned closer to Nadia, stage-whispering, “Thomas was the last nightguard. I think he died on the job.”

“What the fuck?” Nadia shot back.

“Chucks, I know how it seems, but please don’t get upset-”

“Upset? You should be all the way mad, girl! Who the hell wouldn’t tell you that?!” Nadia put one hand on her hip while the other gestured towards Mike, practically bristling with rage on Chucky’s behalf. Despite the tension, Jeremy couldn’t help but admire her for it. After a moment of staring each other down, Mike caved and dropped his head into his hands with a defeated sigh.

Jeremy sat on the floor in front of the couch, leaning his head against Nadia’s knee as he stared at the bottle of pills Dr. Miller gave him. He rolled them around inside the bottle as he listened to Mike ramble on about convertible animatronic suits, secondary locations and random dates. The discussion was getting harder to follow.

“We had nothing to go on, for a couple months, but eventually I found some mentions of Dr. Miller—as far as the nitty gritty goes, his credentials were completely made up.”

Jeremy glanced up at Mike, who was pacing around in front of the TV as he spoke. He considered pointing out that he was currently holding a bottle of medication prescribed to him by the made-up doctor in question. At the pace Mike was speaking, it would be impossible to interject without interrupting him. Those pills could be anything, then; they were definitely illegal, or at least poisonous.

Jeremy felt Nadia’s fingers run through his hair. No matter how well everything else pieced together, there was still one glaring thought in the back of his head. It made his skin crawl and his thoughts derail into total cacophony to avoid it.

Breathe.

Jeremy inhaled, counted to five, then exhaled. His focus slipped out of the present moment and into a dark blanket fort in some dusty corner of his grandparents attic.

Show me how it happened.

Cassidy sat next to him in front of an old luggage chest, fiddling with one of the latches with her bandaged thumb. She was right: if he was going to accept that his sister was alive, he’d have to revisit what he believed to be her death in full definition, parse out what was true and examine what wasn’t.

It was raining hard that night. Deluge.

“I thought you and Charlie went home.” one of the big kids had said.

A sinking feeling seized him as he made his way to the main party room. He heard a noise from outside, like tires screeching. Where was the puppet? Someone had left a bunch of stuff on top of its box. As he scrambled to move it, a heavy cardboard box lurched off the side and fell onto his chest, knocking the wind out of his lungs. Bright bulk bags of slinkies, yo-yos and toy kazoos cascaded out, spilling around his head like a cheap plastic halo. Avalanche.

At least his plan succeeded. The security puppet wriggled free from its box and lifted him to his feet. He couldn’t see Charlie at the window. He couldn’t see her anywhere. Night-time.

There was a man outside who startled at the door opening, dashed to his car and sped off. Gone.

The puppet was gone, too. He looked back at the prize box. Empty.

He heard the sound of the garbage cans being pushed over from the alleyway, cans rolling across the pavement. Quietly, he crept to investigate the sound. Freezing rain was still pelting down, soaking through his sweater and filling his shoes with muddy water. Bursts of static and distorted words hissed out from the puppet, which had coiled around a lump of clothes. The static got deeper and slower, then stopped. His hand brushed something cold as he tried to untangle the puppet. It was a hand- Charlotte’s hand, limp and icy. Regret.

Recall.

Reunion.

Deluge.

The sensation of falling jolted through him.

High-pitched ringing was all Jeremy could hear, for a moment. His vision swam with the afterimage of something yellow, two empty eyes and a slack jaw, gaping at him. Someone was speaking, sound and syllables all mashed together like soggy cake on the plate of a kid who’s eyes were far bigger than their stomach.

“... What’s seen in shadows can be easily misunderstood in the mind of a child.” Chucky’s voice suddenly cut through the ringing in his ears, “Dad said that all the time, when I was little. Maybe he was trying to tell me something…”

He blinked, trying to center himself back in the current situation. They were in Mike’s living room, and Charlotte was alive. It felt surreal. If Charlotte was alive, then who else? He imagined Fritz-fricking-Sullivan currently tailgating someone in a red convertible he got for his sweet sixteen, young and reckless. It felt like too-sweet candy that had gone full circle and become its own kind of lingering bad taste.

Eugene sighed, “I don't think Mr. Emily is the right man to be sourcing wisdom from, right now, but you have a point. We’ve been working with a lot of assumptions, and it’s making things too complicated. Let’s go over the facts, alright?”

“In the early 80s, Henry Emily and William Afton opened their first restaurant: Fredbear’s. Ten years later, a rash of… Incidents… Began occurring, which caused a lot of personal and financial turmoil for the founders.”

“The missing kids thing?” Nadia asked.

“Well, yes, but that’s after River’s accident and after Henry’s divorce.”

“Okay, that’s when Jeremy’s mom hit the road… What accident?”

“Mike’s little brother, River. Older kids took a prank too far, and he got hurt.” Jeremy said.

He glanced at Mike, realizing too late that he’d broached a sore subject. Mike was staring at his hands, quietly picking at a reopened scar.

“That’s right… The original Fredbear and Springbonnie animatronics were fitted with springlock hardware. It let dad and Will use them as costumes in quick, off-stage interchanges by being wound to hold the free-standing endoskeleton back against the lining of the suit.” Chucky pantomimed winding a crank, “But some design issues also caused unpredictable misfires both in suit and animatronic modes. Too much moisture or movement, like a kid’s head getting shoved in the jaw piece, and—”

“They get the picture, okay?” Mike snapped.

Chucky went quiet, drawing back like a kicked puppy. Although she had failed to read the room before her mechanical tangent, Jeremy couldn’t help but share her stab of rejection. Shakily, he got to his feet. There was a lot he could say to Michael, at this point. His guilt complex was grating, he was still an unrepentant jerk, he was self-absorbed and self-centered, and worst of all; it was the lingering memory of a dream that lodged in his mind. The little boy, crying over the phone. River was reaching out, he realized, and after all that time, the first thing he did was ask for his brother to bring him home.

“I’m gonna go- go uh, take my meds.” Jeremy told Mike.

He needed to swallow that bitter feeling.

[purplepeach333]

The note (Neteyam x reader)

You woke with a jolt as you heard the yelling of your siblings from a distance. Leaning up and realising you had dozed off on your ilu and we’re floating out of the reef you rubbed your eyes feeling the cold water running over your body and the harsh evening sun hitting your soft skin.

As you watch your siblings calling out your name you remember you were meant to help teach the Sully children how to breathe. So you woke your ilu and made your way over to them. “Where in the world have you been!” Ao’nung complained “you lucky fathers to busy to worry about us right now” he added swimming off to the others.

You followed behind him noticing the others had not arrived yet. “Where are they?” “Tsireya has gone to get them” Ao’nung replied seating himself on a small rock away from the shore “aren’t you supposed to help” “I’m not gonna waste my time on them” Ao’nung replies turning away from you

—

Once Tsireya had arrived with everyone you all took your places on a larger rock in the water. Tsireya had sat next to Lo’ak and you next to Neteyam.

Tsireya was obviously a better mentor she knew exactly how to help people in every way but you on the other side not so much. You were more of a free spirit, an explorer you were better at learning then teaching. Watching how Tisreya explained everything and helped everyone you felt useless and very out of place.

“y/n,y/n are you alright?” you were snapped out of thought as you heard Neteyam calling your name looking over at him “yeah I’m fine just a little tired” you lied trying to fake a smile but somehow he saw right through your lie looking a little worried but only giving a simple nod in response.

—

After the sun had set and you had eaten with your family you made your way back to your room. Once inside and you started taking out your hair to comb it when you noticed a little piece of paper with multiple tiny rocks holding it in place. Placing your comb down and picking up the note it read ‘meet me at the cove at midnight’ curiosity took over and you pinned your hair back up made sure the paths were empty then snuck out to the cove.

Entering the dark and empty cove you sat yourself up on a flat rock looking around then you saw a tall figure in the water ahead as your eyes adjusted to the darkness around you, you realised it was Neteyam and he had seen you. You got up and walked over to him “I’m glad you came” he smiled as you stood in front of him,

The water was freezing and the cold breeze didn’t help “I’d never say no to a late night adventure” you smirk trying to ignore the freezing cold water rising as you walked in deeper.

Noticing you’re reaction Neteyam held out his hand watching your bright eyes shining under the moon light taking his hand and letting him pull you closer to him as his warmth radiates onto you “why did you call me out here?” You ask him “I thought it would help you cool off after the lessons earlier” he looks down at you “oh that yeah” you mumbled “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you” “no don’t apologise I’m sorry I was so useless I should of known how to help” you pull away into the water as he joins you.

Lifting up your chin to look you in the eye “you are to hard on yourself” he says “you are not Tsireya you are y/n you don’t have to be like her” you feel tears well in your eyes. A strange feeling in your gut as you look at his big yellow eyes pulling him into a long,tight hug “thank you” you whisper and for a split second you feel like your the only two people in the world but everything comes to an end and you pull away leaving a small peek on his cheek. Before wishing him a good night and walking away.

“y/n wait” Neteyam calls out after you “stay with me tonight” he requests “I don’t know. What if someone one sees us out here together” you say “who cares about others seeing us please just for tonight” he says coming up to you and holding your hands you hold onto his hands and nod as a wide smile escapes and you two spend the night together swimming in the cove.

[the-crimson]

After having time to mull over Dapper’s lore today I’m still just… devastated. I was theorizing this whole grand scheme with the federation but the reality was so much simpler yet so much worse.

Tw mentions of suicide and self harm

Dapper is incredibly depressed and thinks of themself as a tool, as worthless unless they are useful to the island. They don’t find enjoyment in their projects anymore and never finished many of them because they see no point. Dapper is actively committing self harm and is this close to killing themself through the Soul Vultures. They didn’t even seem worried at that possibility in their journal.

A lot of people in these situations take on incredibly dangerous tasks like this as an often subconscious form of suicide. If they die for the greater good then it’s okay. It’s worth it. Because dying trying to be useful is better than living and feeling useless.

Dapper thinks that making this potion easily accessible to the players will make them happy because they will be useful again but it wont and they are starting to realize that as seen towards the end of the journal. Dapper is screaming for help but she can’t reach out herself because she doesn’t want to burden anyone or put her family in danger. This entire project was a coping mechanism for his crippling depression and feelings of worthlessness - and a method of self harm and slow suicide - and now that it seems that they are done with the project… Dapper is gonna hit a cross roads.

Either they are gonna break and spill everything to Bad or they are gonna break and do something even more self destructive that may lead in their death but will 100% worsen their mental health.

Dapper needs serious help and support from his family right now. The birthday party today was massive and I think it’s a big step in the Dapper spilling the beans direction but Bad needs to step in. Not even as a “he’s the parent” but as a human. As a person. If u see someone committing self harm then u need to step in and help however you can before this person does something irreversible. As Dapper’s parent, Bad is the only person who could step in without causing further damage.

And Bad knows what Dapper is going through because Bad feels the exact same way. Like a tool. Like he is a hammer instead of the person wielding the hammer. Their situations are different for sure but they are similar enough that Bad can empathize with Dapper and help pull her out of this spiral the way no one else can.

I don’t even think Dapper will be upset at Bad invading their privacy because everything they’ve done over the last week has been a silent but desperate cry for help. They even said in their journal they want to tell bad they want to share this burden so desperately it’s tearing them apart.

Right now, more than anything, Dapper needs a solid support structure and he got that today with Bad and Pomme. Going forwards, Dapper is going to need them both (and Baghera but she’s kidnapped so, you know)

Hopefully during tomorrow’s stream Bad and Dapper will talk because Dapper is so close to spiraling completely and it’s not their fault. Dapper’s just a kid whose watched all their siblings die and been hunted and murdered themself. They are trapped in a gilded cage with everyone on the island, helplessly waiting for the day everything ends.

They are just a kid

[dottie-writes-tmnt]

Confessions (pt. 2)

This is part 9 of my fic A New Kind of Familiar. Tags and other chapters can be found here!

No summary actually

They talk about Leo and Karai in this chapter. (Nickelodeon was fucked up for that. Literally after it was revealed they were siblings they were still romantic with each other.) And they talk about Leo having hallucinations

Donnie groaned, letting his head fall forward to hit the table. The lab door opened and closed, Mikey coming over to grab his bandanna tails before he could start banging his head on the table.

“Breakfast, Dee,” the snapper said, holding the plate out of the way in case of the wood turtle lashing out. He offered no response, looking at the snapper.

“If I…if I can’t do this…what’s gonna happen to him? What’s gonna happen to us?”

“Oh, wow, mind reader. I was thinking about that last night. Dee, you know I’ve been thinking about destiny and all that ever since…well. You know.”

And he did. Renet had accidentally-on-purpose (not really, it was an accident on her part but it was something their timeline required) sent herself and Mikey somewhere and the time scepter wouldn’t work. While they were there, Mikey developed some abilities. Things came to him in dreams, he was even more emotionally aware than before, and he was probably strong enough to bench press Leatherhead.

“I’m saying this for a reason, pay attention. I had a dream last night. I saw Raph. It was blurry, but…he looked happy. Happier than he’s ever been with us. I think this is destiny sending him away for some character development, and just like the time scepter wouldn’t bring us back until everything had happened, your machine won’t work until that’s all complete, too. So don’t stress, Dee. I’ll even talk to Leo.”

“He’s been talking to the hallucinations again,” Donnie felt he should inform. His baby brother froze where he’d been getting up, half propped up on the table now. “Said Splinter thinks I should work harder. Which, yeah, he would say that, but he’s not here. And we watched Splinter’s ghost pass on for good. But the moment I said that he got all pissy and… you know as long as he’s talking to things that aren’t real, you can’t get through to him.”

Mikey settled back down, sighing.

“We need to get him out more.”

“Probably.”

The duo sat there, listening to Leo’s footsteps near the lab, and to Donnie’s surprise, Mikey got up and locked the door.

“Mikey, what are you doing? He’s just gonna be even more mad when he sees me!”

“You’re not doing good and you’re just gonna get worse if Leo can talk to you,” the snapper explained, sitting criss-cross applesauce on the table next to Donnie. “And I don’t… Dee, I don’t want all of us to drown just because he is.”

Donnie had never been good at comfort. He had never been good at much besides technology, honestly. Not good at people or being social or anything of the likes. He didn’t know why. But he figured trying wouldn’t hurt. He set a hand on his little brother’s knee, sighing deeply.

“Then we’ll be each other’s lifeboats.”

 

——

 

Leo was more than a little worried about his twin, who had gotten a board out and was writing notes all over it, drawing lines between things like those crazy people in movies.

“So we all agree that he should want to go back if he had a pleasant experience living there, right? Logically, he should miss his brothers.”

“Yeah, but he seemed so…upset when he thought I was gonna send him back.”

“Maybe he’s just attached to us too?”

“No, he talked like they were the worst people alive.”

“I noticed the same thing when he was helping me cook on the first chapter— I mean, night he was here!”

“I’m kinda worried.”

“And we all know what he said about Splinter, but he was probably thinking of his own.”

“That doesn’t make it any better, Leo,” Raph pointed out.

“I know. But someone banned us from asking about his brothers at all.”

“I didn’t wanna make him upset considering he’d only been here for not even a day at the time,” the snapper defended. Mikey shut them both up with a glare.

“We should talk to him. Assuming won’t do anyone any good.”

“Great idea, hermano—“

“Me and Donnie. Sound good? Good. I’ll cook, just send him in about 30 minutes from now. And don’t worry, you two will get your turn. I just don’t wanna overwhelm him with all four of us. And he may be a tad embarrassed about that night, Leo. Raph, he looks up to you. He won’t wanna seem ‘weak’.”

That made sense. Leon sighed.

“Fine.”

 

—

 

Donnie sat at the table, messing around on his phone until Mikey finished cooking, setting the plates so that he and Mikey would be across from Ruby. Almost on cue, right as Mikey closed the fridge, the terrapin walked in.

“You guys wanted to talk? I was doin’ somethin’.”

“Yeah, we did, but I’m sorry we interrupted you,” Mikey said, gesturing for Ruby to sit.

“What were you working on, though?” Donnie asked. Ruby perked up a little.

“I was making some compression gloves for Casey. She says her hands hurt when she crochets and she wishes she had some, so.”

“That’s nice of you,” Mikey chirped, adjusting his glasses. His back was to Ruby. “I’m sure she’ll love them! Especially considering she’s been doing a lot of crocheting recently.”

“Yeah.”

Finally, Mikey turned around and sat next to Donnie. The trio continued to make small talk, Mikey waiting for Ruby to finish eating before sighing. He gave the smallest terrapin a smile.

“Ruby, do you mind telling us about your brothers?”

The relaxed but slightly nervous expression fell, replaced by all those barbed walls falling into place. Immediately. Though Donnie had expected as much.

“Yes, I mind very much. Why? What do you want to know? I already told you they’re perfect at everything they do. Did I say something? I don’t want to talk about them,” the box turtle snapped immediately, already moving to stand up.

“Why not? Did they do something?”

“I said I don’t! Why?! Is there something you’re looking for? They aren’t anything like you, if that’s what you’re thinking, and they’re exact opposites of me.”

“That isn’t what I’m asking for,” Mikey murmured, and Ruby’s head twitched to the side slightly, a behavior Donnie had picked up on from the terrapin when he was in upsetting situations. Donnie watched as the box turtle tapped his fingers against his thighs, an act of nervousness. Stimming.

“Father loved Leo,” he started, spitting the word like a curse, like a slur, through a snout full of poison and hurt. “Donnie makes things, and Mikey draws. Leo was a star student. Donnie’s smart. None of them have tempers like mine. What else do you wanna know? They’re perfect,” Ruby spat through vitriol-coated teeth.

“I wanna know how you feel about them. You’re giving me qualities out of a book. I wanna know about your brothers from you.”

Ruby’s head twitched yet again, the terrapin narrowing his eyes for a moment.

“I can guarantee you don’t.”

“I don’t know them. I don’t care about them. There isn’t an image to shatter.”

Ruby stared at Mikey, skeptical of that calm, caring smile. Finally, the red-wearing box turtle sighed.

“Fine. Get everybody in here, though, because I’m not repeating myself.”

“Well, I re—“

Mikey kicked him. He wasn’t sure why. He was just going to assure Ruby that he wouldn’t have to repeat himself, since he recorded everything. Whatever. He got up.

“I’ll go retrieve the others.”

 

—

 

Ruby wanted to bury himself. He could’ve walked away from this situation. Now the eyes were on him, and he wanted to shrink into a hole, but it was too late now.

“Mikey was still awesome. He was talented, like…he was good at art and stuff, and Splinter was always going on and on about how we needed to be like Mikey because he had more raw talent than all of us combined, especially me. Because Mikey was all happy n shit.

“He liked to piss me off on purpose to see how far he could push me, cuz it was funny apparently. But then he’d get pissy when I did get pissed off, but when I was nice, it was like the world was fucking ending. His insults were always somethin’ special. I think he just liked making me feel guilty, though.”

He glanced up, immediately deciding he didn’t like the looks on their faces.

“Donnie was still smart. Splinter wanted me to be like him because thinking rationally instead of emotionally was an asset I should have. He wasn’t that bad, I guess, he just used big words and said he liked making me feel stupid. And when we were kids, he tried some shit, but we were kids. I think he was the best to me out of them all—“

“What did he try?” Mikey asked, gently.

“Nothin’ big.”

“If it wasn’t anything big, you wouldn’t have said anything,” the box turtle murmured.

“He just let loose his ant farm in my room, it was a joke. He knew I was scared of bugs, and he thought it’d be funny. Everyone got a good laugh out of it and I moved rooms.”

“But…you weren’t laughing, were you?”

That confused him. Of course he wasn’t laughing, he’d been terrified, he’d cried, and then they all just laughed at him and he’d had to replace everything, and poor Spike’s shell had been filled with even more bugs, and April had had to take him to the vet because Ruby couldn’t. But it was just a joke that Ruby overreacted about. He said as much and Mikey simply shook his head.

“It wasn’t a good joke. Tell me about Leo,” the box turtle prompted, and Ruby felt the poison fill his mouth.

“He’s perfect,” he spat. “Splinter’s star student. Splinter’s favorite. The only one Splinter ever listened to, really. He’s everything I’m not. He never loses his cool, he always falls into line, and he annoys the crap out of me. He was the last to cooperate when I came out, though. Kept sayin’ I couldn’t change my gender ‘n stuff.

“Yaknow, like father like son or somethin’. When Splinter died, he appointed himself as the Sensei. And then shit really went downhill. I could never catch a fuckin’ break. Then we killed the Shredder. Then we killed him again. And then Leo decided to get with his sister. But Leo’s always like that. Says you shouldn’t do one thing then does something worse. He used to make me mad on purpose when we were younger. Now it’s just obvious he doesn’t like me.”

“Do you like them? ” Leo questioned, voice oddly gentle.

“Sometimes. When they’re not being dumbasses.”

“And, Ruby, you do know that what they did…isn’t right, don’t you?” Mikey questioned, slowly.

“I did worse,” he was quick to defend them even still. “I’m always snapping at them and being a dick.”

“Because they intentionally push your buttons.”

“Well— but—“

“They were wrong for what they did. Would you ever do any of that to any of us?”

“Of course not! Why the fuck would I—“

Oh.

He frowned, feeling oddly small. Mikey smiled softly, a sad thing, but not pitying.

“It hurts, doesn’t it?”

He gave a tiny nod. That was why he thought the things he thought. The tiny voice in his head always sounded suspiciously like Leo, back from when they were little and he’d constantly try to scare him by saying the others were talking about him or thinking things about him even if they weren’t.

He got angry because his brothers would always make fun of him when he cried. He was fucked up like this because of the way they shaped him.

He was shocked out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up to see Red.

“They’re the ones that lost someone great. Yer fuckin’ awesome, and if they failed to see that, then they have no place in your life,” the snapper said firmly even as he pulled Ruby into a hug and rubbed his shell while he sniffled. The others moved to join, and they ended up having another movie night.

Ruby borrowed Donnie’s headphones and didn’t talk for the rest of the night— the words just wouldn’t come, which happened a lot more often than he would like and was always frustrating —but he dozed where he was comfortably wedged between Donnie’s oddly comfortable soft shell and Junior.

Mikey was like a living weighted blanket on his lap, humming along to the songs and applauding the twins’ duetted performance of Poor Unfortunate Souls. His head was filled with cotton, but that was fine, he supposed. Ruby didn’t really want to think after what happened earlier, anyway.

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