#but not rly he doesnt wanna Stop it he just cant stop his worrying from oozing out i guess dhfjd

[saaltskies]

i think bw is very similar whether hilbert or hilda is the protagonist but there are some differences in my head

for example...

i think hilda would be much more aggressive toward team plasma and kinda despised n at first

she went from what is with this weirdo to OH UR THE KING SCREW YOU

after the champion battle she stops hating him though

part of the reason why she disappeared after the events of bw is because she also feels guilty for how mean she was to him

protag hilbert was more friendly to n at first thinking his views were interesting even if he didnt agree

he also hated team plasma hilda just causes more arson

but ya hilbert was more chill with him and enjoyed talking to him at least until he was like oh btw im the king of team plasma and hilbert was like wHAT

while protag hilda becomes more aggressive and angry with n hilbert becomes more scared of him

hilbert is like ohhhhh shoot i promised my friends i wouldnt get too involved with team plasma but got too involved oh shoot oh shoot oh shoot nonononono

when n is like hey i chose you to be the other hero hildas like excuse me what ?????? while hilberts like shoot shoot shootshootshootshoot

on the whole dream thing they have different responses

see hilbert has a dream while hilda doesnt

n asked hilbert if he has a dream and hilbert never really had a dream his whole life but realized then that traveling the world and hopefully become champion kinda are dreams of his and thought about it for a bit and realized huh ig i do

he followed that for the rest of the game (until the horrors settled in)

then with hilda she doesnt have one

she tells everyone before that that her dream is to win the pokemon league but she actually doesnt care that much about it

its a goal shes working towards but not rly a dream

when asks shes about to say that as usual but then shes like. huh. i dont actually. and she finally admits she doesnt have one for the first time, but that she doesnt really mind, she'll figure it out

after chargestone cave hilbert becomes more anxious he puts way more into training he becomes more desperate because THERES AN EVIL CULT AFTER HIM

his dream changes its focus to taking down team plasma

he also starts to distance himself from his friends and sister more from stress which worries them a bit

hilda also ups her training but shes more upbeat and motivated while hilbert is more stressed

also neither of them are very good at being vulnerable so they dont talk much to their friends about how they're feeling lol

hilda starts to be more niceys to n after the conversation with ghetsis on the bridge because shes like oh wait this is awful while hilbert is like YOU

his bad feelings about ghetsis are confirmed and he more than ever wants to take down team plasma

they are both sickened by ghetsis

in the champion battle their feelings are similar

they both get stressed over the fact that they cant afford to lose and they both wanna also make n see the truth

and of course after the battle they are both PISSED at ghetsis

oh and they both equally want to beat ghetsis with a nail bat but i think hilda is more likely to actually have one and do it lol #girl

they both get freaked the heck out by ghetsis trying to murder them who wouldn't this is terrifying

after the battle hilda wants to apoligize to n for being so mean to him because shes kinda chill with him now and also now that hes no longer doing stuff she has no reason to hate him but he leaves before she can say it :(

while hilbert has all these deep lil things he wants to say to him and also wants to ask him if they can be friends but n disappears rip

some time after it finally registers in hilberts brain everything that happened and that one the pokemon league and he starts freaking out over it all and starts getting imposter syndrome over the whole champion thing and books it to go find n

bye bestie

while hilda is overrun with guilt because she didnt get to properly make up with n so she heads out too

i think hilda does a better job at keeping in contact than hilbert does

hilda doesnt do a great job either but at least everyone knows shes ok unlike a certain SOMEONE

oh and if they arent protags hilda spends all her time at the battle subway like hee hee battle

she also loses interest in the league trains are so much better

and hilbert is like hey imma go do some extra training for the league in the subway and by the time he comes back out his sister is traumatized

[hertwood]

dts s5 e1-2

e1: -oh my god i was so hyped for this ep yet completely forgot it starts with mattia and gunther's lunch date LMAO -'we like to think of this a documentary' 'its not a documentary' see if yall just LISTEN to toto you could be having some fun here -red mercedes rollhoop was so UGLY at least it looks better against the black now but i cant stop thinkin abt it when i see the car -also seb looks so fluffy. miss him need him etc etc -if max doesnt interview for next season i'll be So Upset i love him sm -LOVE the kevin return he deserves it SO MUCh -damn they rly set ferrari up here. starting with the highs so the lows hit correctly later. damn -LOVE every alex cameo hi baby :) -LISTEN. the first race i ever watched in full was bahrain 2022. i knew max won the championship, but i didnt know any of the details of the races, and i think this was such a GREAT start for me. the max&charles backnforth, the last minute max dnf, checo dnf in final lap had me GAGGED i'm so glad dts gave it justice. this race has such a special place in my heart -also red bulls don't have mechanical dnfs like they used to!!!! bring this back!!!!

e2: -unfortunately dts does charm u to like toto. he is charming. i am charmed. sorry -pre-fluffy hair george is a jumpscare honestly -lewis wont have to remember the full mercedes team name next year :/ -seeing old pre season testing is making me INSANE its so close i need it NOW -i forgot how widespread the porpoising problem was at the start. i know mercedes struggled the longest but it really seems like a legitimate oversight regulations wise if it happened to EVERYONE -'you cant overstate how much trouble mercedes are in' cut to them in THIRD in the rankings god even when they're flopping theyre on top thats how iconic they are~ -HI SAM COLLINS -the way they just let the bouncing cockpitcams play in silence is so effective. makes me wince. poor bb. -unrelated but i cannot even look at baku turn one without thinking abt the f2 pileup there last year. like 6 dnfs at once insane. anyway -HI ROSS BRAWN -this whole team principal meeting is so goofy and staged as fuck. parent teacher association core -silverstone is simply a banger of a track sorry. not overrated, perfectly rated actually -if dts is good for anything its good for these slow motion shots. the way the roll hoop just disintigrated is insane -so i've noted in previous season they've done a good job of setting up background info before big moments. i think they really dropped the ball here and should've introduced guanyu before the crash. not a big amount, just a lil bit would've done WONDERS -i will say, in the grosjean episode there was this talk abt how he wanted to walk to the ambulance to show he was ok. from a medical perspective that is such a bad fucking idea. it looks scary but i'm glad zhou and the medical team got him outta there on a brace like that. turned out not to be necessary but rly could've been -I LOVE U FORMULA 1 MEDICAL TEAMS BTW -i know merc are bitching but i do think back to grid starter order was the right call. sorry lewis ily -every time i get worried abt ferrari's history with pit fuckups for lewis i need to remind myself that mercedes is just as bad lmao -"i think lewis will win" i dont EVER wanna see anyone saying britcedes dont love eachother britcedes antis dni unfollow me i hate you -THROUGH GOES HAMILTON UNBELIEVABLE STUFF -the lil trick they pull.....the ~ferrari~ wins the british grand prix...... so they can rehash this all again from a carlos v charles angle next episode...... i see u

[chempack]

@practically-an-x-man rbing cuz this is gonna get too long for replies

so his power is the ability to change reality (im sure theres some name for this power in x-men and/or some fancy latin kinesis name for it but i havent googled anything regarding it) and its like. basically limitless. he could change himself into a giant or a bird or a dragon if he wanted. he could make you Perceive him as a dragon. he could make YOU a dragon. the one real caveat is that he can't change Himself – like, his soul, personality, mind, whatever you wanna call it – so he can't magically fix his own flaws or anxiety or anything. he could make YOU not care about his flaws, but it wouldn't necessarily change his own feelings about it. this also puts him at risk to psychics because he can make his body fully invulnerable to any possible harm but he can't change his mind in a way to protect himself from psychics. also, he doesnt know if he could actually apply it to like, the whole world or a mass crowd or anything because hes never tried (doesnt want to risk overdoing it and accidentally exploding the universe or something, since he doesnt rly know How or Why it works)

he's not actually from the x-men's world/universe/timeline/whatever the fuck its called, but in a somewhat darwin-esque move, his power shifted himself to their world to protect himself (or ITself) bc mutants cannot exist in his home world (how did he get his mutation then? idfk. maybe an ancestor universe hopped a while back and happened to have the mutant gene and passed it on to their descendants until it got to him and made a full mutant. wait do both parents need to carry the gene. whatever man). anyway he cant change reality to go back to his home world bc of the No Mutant Rule (why is it a thing idk dont ask me)

also he uses the power by blinking, which makes it nearly impossible to tell when hes doing it. psychics can control him and read his mind and shit just like everyone else and possibly use his power that way (i do not actually know if they can control another mutants power by mind controlling them but it sounds like something that could happen) but they still couldnt change reality to strip him of the power bc, well, he cant do that himself (due to the 'cant change his own soul' thing). this is kind of starting to sound like the power is its own entity or something (isnt rhe dark phoenix like that? idk). anyway. everyones extremely worried abour rhis guy bc he could theoretically jusf, like, blink them all out of existence or bomb the country or something and nobody would know it happened/that he did it. really hes a chill guy but they dont like him. i think power removal collars exist or something??? which might work on him idk how they work. but otherwise the only way to stop him entirely would be to like. glue his eyelids shut every day. my original idea was to cut them off jeff the killer style but if he makes himself invulnerable then that wont work. idk. he Literally changes reality itself not just makes elaborate illusions or smth so even some sort of power removal wouldnt change him being invulnerable, he already shifted reality itself to make him be that way

anyway i told you he was really overpowered. also i dont know shit about xmen lore and this is fuelled entirely by xmen first class, tiktok comments and videos talking about powers, and copious amounts of cherik fanfiction. im sure half of this stuff is completely not canon compliant

the recent wolverine (and renewed cherik) craze on my tiktok fyp got me thinking up a really stupid and overpowered mutant oc for the last like week

[maqichour]

。・ * ✧  marc  stood  hesitantly  at  the  edge  of  the  edge  of  the  forbidden  forest , simply  watching  the  party  commence ,  for  a  moment ,  as  he  contemplated  his  own  attendance .  part  of  him  ( the  prefect  part , he’d  realized )  had  begun  to  regret  the  decision  –  briefly  but  entirely  flooding  his  thoughts  with  ones  of  both  guilt  and  fear  –  but  the  other  part  ( the  gregarious  one )  had  prevailed .  he  had ,  after  all , vowed  to  himself  to  at  least  attempt  to  be  more  rebellious .  besides ,  what’s  the  worst  that  could  happen ?  he  thought ,  now  finding  himself  by  the  drinks .  he  eyed  them  all  for  a  moment ,  before  looking  at  the  person  next  to  him  and  asking , ❛  which  do  you  think  is  the  worst  option ?  or ,  no  …  best ,  ❜  though  he  hardly  gave  them  enough  time  to  answer  before  waving  his  hand  as  if  saying  to  forget  about  it  and  grabbing  whatever .   ❛  nevermind  ,  i  doubt  it  matters .  ❜  the  hufflepuff  held  the  beverage  in  his  hands ,  almost  too  scared  to  actually  drink  it .  maybe  it  did  matter ,  after  all .  he  spoke  up  again  a  moment  later  .  ❛  do  you  think  any  of  the  forest’s  residents  will  make  an  appearance ?  i  hope  not  …  could  you  imagine  if  one  did  ,  though ?  i  mean  ,  imagine  everyone  being  chased  off  by  an  acromantula  or  a  centaur  ,  ❜  he  paused  his  blabbing  for  a  moment  as  if  he  himself  were  trying  to  imagine  such  an  event  .  ❛  i  doubt  that’s  ever  happened  or  ever  will ,  but  i  do  suppose  that , either  way , those  are  the  risks  we  take  when  breaking  rules simply for  a  bit  of  fun ,  ❜ he  shrugged  ,  holding  his  beverage  up  in  a  silent  toast  before  taking  his  first  drink.

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[scourge-sympathiser]

what's the jaystrike and long distance au?? im familiar with beetlebite, covenant, and firelight, but wadda bout thos 2? i think i recall jaystrike faintly but it dont come 2 mind, and the long distance 1 im completely unaware of [[u can only share 1 if u want becuz if it's a lot then i get it if u dont wanna cram it all into 1 post]

>:3€

ill start with jaystrike! ive also called it the mentor tiny AU n probly some othr stuff, i can nevr pick a single name, fun fact before i get into it is tht ive had this AU in some form or another since i waz like. 13? so thtz fun

aftr his death scourge findz himself in a strange place, a concrete expanse drenched in a thick smog that makez it near impossible to see anything just a few pawstepz ahead... Alone... the neck wound tht killed him still dripping with thick dark blood

it doesnt take long for him to start wandering, just for somthing to do.... as he walkz he startz to think, about many thingz, for the first time maybe evr he recallz the blue furred cat who stopped tigerpaw from killing him.. from there the elderly cat who shared food with & the thingz he ended up doing with the life thy had saved..... slowly he thawz, leaving not a warm heart but a void.. he comez to regret.. A Lot... he continuez walking

back in the clanz firestar is visted by bluestar in a dream- she stright up tellz him tht itz jaykitz destiny to be a medicine cat... firestar putz a lot of stock into prophecy, so. he decidez to just Make jay be the medicine cat apprentice bcuz! prophecy! & also a bit of misguided worry for his grandkit

jay is, obviously, fuckin pissed, but doesnt rly kno wht to do... hez visted in his dreamz by feathertail, who tryz to explain the importance of destiny.. but jay just cussez her out and runz away

he eventually findz himself somewhere tht is... clearly not starclan... the ground hard beneath his pawz & a thick stinking mist surroundz him until he stumblez apon a small, heavily scarred black cat, who seemz exceptionally shocked to see him, a brief extange haz the very frustrated jay full on ranting to the strange stranger

the thing about scourgez own personal hell is tht othr catz shouldnt be able to reach it- but death is a kind of sleep and afterlife a kind of dream, so jay is able to get in

scourge listenz to this young cat & realizez tht he can help him- he decidez tht he Will help him.... and so scourge introducez himself as tiny and offerz his training... jay is just kinda shocked anyone is evn giving him the chance to prove he can be a warrior! so thy begin training

as this goez on, tiny findz the haze lifting & grass finding itz way thru the concrete.. eventually hez able to find his way to the living world thru jaypaw & hang around as a ghost, using this opportunity to watch catz hunt- hez been able to teach jaypaw many [underhhanded] fighting movez, but he doesnt kno much about more practical skillz for a forest, such as hunting

also happening at this time is an increasingly exasperated feathertail frequently visting jaypaw to try and get him to accept destiny.... feathertail in this AU is jaypawz main starclan messenger bcuz she knoz firstpaw wht itz like to hav 2 giv up yr life [literally in her case] for the whimz of fate..... well, tht & she cant help but see the 3 as the kitz she nevr had in a way

part of this Waz bcuz leafpool is dating mothwing who waz feathertailz ex in this and im still super attached to tht ship but idk if ill have to change tht bcuz of her manga.....i rly rly dont wanna tbh but aaaugh off topic

eventually, jaypaw haz unintentionally earned his medicine cat name...fearful tht becoming a full med cat will ruin any chance hez got at becoming a warrior, jaypaw Panicz && runz away before leafpool can name him & goez stright to firestar and Demandz tht he hav a trial to become a warrior

it probably takez more thn just doing good at one trial but he doez become a warrior eventually! named jaystrike [an intentional refrence 2 my windclan AU scourge finchstrike lmao]

... i waz gonna also talk about the long distance AU but this got... Long..... so ill save tht until som1 else askz about it skfhskdh

[svnnysidevp]

ship meme for All hehe

𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗲  /  * accepting  !

are u ready 4 this . zimzalabim

𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒆 & 𝒔𝒚𝒅  !

𝐰𝐡𝐨   .  .  .  .

001. .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ?  syd solely because lane is a little bitch n refuses to cook whenever he sees so much as a spiderweb in the kitchen

002. .   .   .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ?  uhhh kinda wanna say lane once he gets over all his issues w commitment :) it’ll take a while but he’ll get there n it’ll be a nice cute quiet romantic dinner !

003.  .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  lane no question abt it that is a period full stop

004.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?  lane on the sexual front syd on the romantic side ? but lane can be romantic too if / when he feels like it !

005.  .   .   .   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  lane . he alrdy did it once so i mean :) but after the whole fake dating thing he wouldn’t find a reason to leave anymore :)

006.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ?  syd mayb just bc of the way lane is NJKSDNFDS

007.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 ?  LANE

008.  .   .   .   𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝐀𝐌 ?  lane mostly sends cooking recipes and syd sends lil writer’s blurbs abt characters / plots he might forget in the morning so like both ig

009.   .   .   .  𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ?  LANE

010.   .   .   .  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  mmm syd !

𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒏 & 𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒚  !

𝐰𝐡𝐨   .  .  .  .

001. .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ?  aspen sets it free somewhere on the back porch she cant kill spiders : (

002. .   .   .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ?  aspen !

003.  .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  nelly mayb ! during one of their nice nights together just hangin out n getting high she jus leans in n aspen has lowkey been waiting for this for a while :’)

004.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?  aspen !

005.  .   .   .   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  nelly since thats the plot NSJKDNFS she was less committed than aspen was and when they both realized that it was a sobfest ha ha

006.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ?  aspen at first but then nelly later on when aspen finally finds someone else and she realizes what she’s been missing this whole time

007.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 ?  close compet but im gna say nelly , simply because she’s the one who invites aspen over to take naps all the time

008.  .   .   .   𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝐀𝐌 ?  nelly ! aspen always quick to reply tho :/

009.   .   .   .  𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ?  nelly 

010.   .   .   .  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  aspen no doubt !

𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒐 & 𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒌𝒂  !

𝐰𝐡𝐨   .  .  .  .

001. .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ?  milo ! but he doesnt kill the spider either just lets it out the window .

002. .   .   .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ?  milo is the more romantic one so it would be him !

003.  .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  evika . milo gets hard almost immediately its so embarrasing . NJKSNDJFS 

004.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?  evika !

005.  .   .   .   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  evika , maybe ! she doesnt want to ruin him but honestly milo’s felt more alive than he ever has with her around

006.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ?  evika , especially when milo gets a gf while theyre still makin sex tapes 

007.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 ?  evika !

008.  .   .   .   𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝐀𝐌 ?  well theyre like . roomies so they dont rly send texts NJKSDNF but mayb evika ?

009.   .   .   .  𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ?  LOL evika no contest

010.   .   .   .  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  milo bc he cant help the sap :/

𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒋𝒖 & 𝒍𝒚𝒍𝒆  !

𝐰𝐡𝐨   .  .  .  .

001. .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ?  lyle hehe

002. .   .   .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ?  if we’re talking abt proposing their whole cheatin situation it was probably definitely heeju who was like “ what she doesnt know wont hurt her :) “

003.  .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  heeju ( see above )

004.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?  heeju !

005.  .   .   .   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  mmm heeju , mayb ? it cld be either of them ngl LOL

006.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ?  heeju is awfully possessive over her sister’s boyfriend :) likes to remind him who she does belong to when shes giving him head in the family bathroom

007.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 ?  heeju who will do anything to not get a real job LOL

008.  .   .   .   𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝐀𝐌 ?  lyle sends her cute lil sketches that hes worked on . heeju saves them all even if she doesnt reply to any of them to avoid looking like she’s been waiting for his texts :/

009.   .   .   .  𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ?  heeju ! shes a good camgirl for a reason

010.   .   .   .  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  heeju ! or maybe they said it at the same time tbh who knows they just rly like the sex NJSKDNFS

𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒔 & 𝒌𝒊𝒚𝒂 !

𝐰𝐡𝐨   .  .  .  .

001. .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ?  kiya ! moses is big baby scared of spiders : (

002. .   .   .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ?  LMAO moses probably ! he does it when theyre both drunk and after their fifth round of sex for the night and hes high on life and love and is like fuck it lets do it baby i know the law

003.  .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  moses !

004.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?  MOSES !

005.  .   .   .   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  MOSES do u see the pattern here NKJSDNFS

006.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ?  kiya doesn’t get jealous much bc she believes that whatever she and moses has is real and he only loves her : ( moses only gets jealous when hes around and can see her hanging w someone else and takes it upon himself to fuck her into remembering who she belongs to ! 

007.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 ?  moses :)

008.  .   .   .   𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝐀𝐌 ?  moses but theyre mostly just booty calls and sexts and half hearted “miss u”s

009.   .   .   .  𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ?  moses !

010.   .   .   .  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  moses ! because hes a fool . and kiya’s a fool for saying it right back . :)

𝒍𝒆𝒙 & 𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒏 !

𝐰𝐡𝐨   .  .  .  .

001. .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ?  lex !

002. .   .   .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ?  aH probably lex because he’s a lil meticulous like that and would have everything planned down to a T !

003.  .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  arian ! lex did a lot of planning for this fake dating but was always scared to initiate anything physical so arian had to do it for him :)

004.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?  LEX ! again , if it isnt anything physical hehe when it comes to like dates or w/E

005.  .   .   .   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  arian’s ex would probably come back to him first bc lex is a big dick LOL but honestly at that point lex would feel more for arian than his own ex-boyfriend so he’d be the one left behind rip

006.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ?  lex !

007.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 ?  arian ! lex does a lot all the time he is a walking bullet journal .

008.  .   .   .   𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝐀𝐌 ?  arian ! 

009.   .   .   .  𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ?  arian !

010.   .   .   .  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬���� ?  lex ! it freaks him out a bit bc falling in love was not part of the plan but once he did fall he couldnt stop it so here he is … just a guy standing in front of a guy .. asking him to leave his bf and choose him instead !

𝒄𝒆𝒍 & 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒐𝒙 !

𝐰𝐡𝐨   .  .  .  .

001. .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ?  cel !

002. .   .   .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ?  maddox ! cel would be surprised but it wld also warm her emotionally stunted heart : (

003.  .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  cel ! it was by their favorite tree and after they’d had yet another argument . it escalated v quickly after that .

004.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?  both of them ! they fuck like bunnies . anywhere n everywhere . its so embarrassing like pls there r children here … NJSKDFNSJDF

005.  .   .   .   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  cel would b the first to distance herself if she felt like they were getting too close again ? she doesnt think she deserves anything happy . tragic !

006.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ?  both of them ! they’re both equally possessive over someone they claim isn’t theirs !

007.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 ?  maddox !

008.  .   .   .   𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝐀𝐌 ?  maddox ! cel replies to none of them but thinks abt them the rest of the day .

009.   .   .   .  𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ?  cel !

010.   .   .   .  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  cel . they were drunk n she was affectionate n she missed him : (

𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏 & 𝒑𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓 !

𝐰𝐡𝐨   .  .  .  .

001. .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ?  no one ! peter is fond of spiders he keeps them in a jar or lets them out the window as per mason’s request

002. .   .   .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ?  peter ! he’d stumbled over his words the whole time but he powered thru bc his love for mason outweighed everything else :(

003.  .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  mason ! after his theatre showcase at the camp . peter turned pink from head to toe .

004.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?  mason ! peter is a big baby when it comes to relationship tingz seeing as he’s never been in one so mason would have to take the lead and be patient with him re: everything :(

005.  .   .   .   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  mason would be more likely to but tbh neither of them bc theyre the best boys and love each other too much to do that the end .

006.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ?  peter ! cue that whole summer of him giving mason crush advice for SOMEONE ELSE like a fool !

007.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 ?  mason ! he’s influenced peter and now there r days they both stay in bed cuddling until noon .

008.  .   .   .   𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝐀𝐌 ?  mason ! peter replies to all of them tho dont worry :(

009.   .   .   .  𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ?  mason !

010.   .   .   .  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  peter . he backtracked over his words and frantically reminded mason that if he didnt feel the same way it was fine and there was no rush ( internally he was like haha please dont break my heart :( .. ) but the sigh of relief he felt when mason said he loved him too ? BREATHTAKIN !

𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏 & 𝒍𝒆𝒗𝒊 , og legends !

𝐰𝐡𝐨   .  .  .  .

001. .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 ?  levi .

002. .   .   .   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ?  levi . it was a shotgun wedding . only one other of brooke’s sisters , half stoned , turned up as witness .

003.  .   .   .   𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  levi ! it was bound to happen though , after all the incessant flirting and back and forths . inevitable .

004.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?  both of them ! 

005.  .   .   .   𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ?  both , too . theyre both equally bad for each other it’s . heartwarming :)

006.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ?  arden , initially . then when she and xun started hangin out more levi turned into that :eyes: emoji so fast

007.  .   .   .   𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 ?  levi ! 

008.  .   .   .   𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝐀𝐌 ?  levi ! it’s mostly just him telling arden he misses her . or the bed emoji . either way arden comes for him anyway .

009.   .   .   .  𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 ?  both !

010.   .   .   .  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 ?  arden . the first time she says it to levi is when they’re on the rooftop of her sorority house havin sex . the night sky is pretty and the music is muffled from beneath them and levi sounds so nice moaning as she ride him prompts it to slip from her lips ! her heart stops a bit but then levi says he loves her too and it’s okay again , they’re okay again ( more than okay as he continues to help her chase her own orgasm on his dick ! ).

[mcsochists]

*record scratch* *freeze frame* yep, that’s me. VJNOKM i’m noelle, i’m twenty1, my timezone is est, i use she/her pronouns & small disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, okay!! just keep that in mind when you .. read this .. “ intro ” i whipped up in half an hour. anywhen! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on discord at [mournful bagpipe music]#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u aint got discord NVJOF. MOVING ON.. 

freya’s pinterest board(s): here!

content warning: neglect, alcohol, drugs

freya lockhart has been a medina complex resident for seven years, now. they’re twenty-two years old, and they tend to find a way to turn every conversation into an argument. sometimes when i walk by F24, i hear suncity by khalid playing. lately, i’d say they’re pretty magnetic, but sometimes that’s overwhelmed by the fact that they’re callous. i mean, they usually pay their rent on time, though, and that’s most important fact here. the distorted and desaturated world on the other side of a rainy window pane, detatched glances cast from bleary and bloodshot eyes & fuzzy and distorted recollections of the night before.

right off the bat i want u to know that i’m illiterate

anyways, freya was born & raised in east la w/ her parents and a plethora of extended family/family friends less than a block away. money was Always tight, but the one thing they never really had to worry about was safety bc her dad was a gang leader in their area ( tho it was only rly seen as a gang by the police & the few people in their neighborhood who weren’t colombian lmao ). her dad, saul puentes was like the big man on campus around where they lived, but people liked to rail him for marrying a gringa. ‘we were in love’ is the story he liked to tell, but they were polar opposites — his main focus had always been keeping himself and his family safe, no matter the cost. she, on the other hand, wanted a life she could brag to her friends and colleagues about. clearly, there were some warring factors there.

things were.. how u say.. Tense for the first handful of years of freya’s life, though she thought the entire world of her papa ( saw him as a kinda Hero, especially w/ the way most people deferred to him ). like she’d known her parents weren’t exactly In Love with each other but she just figured that was how all adults acted ( leaving her Uninterested in being married from a young age lmao ).

it was when her dad got arrested that changed things. at first they figured it would blow over & he’d be home in no time, but as evidence kept stacking up, it became less and less likely that he’d be released ( freya was like 8 at the time ). freya’s mom, completely strung out and Over It at this point, packed her and freya’s things & tried to move them out, but freya was uhh Not Having It, like at all, so some of her extended family took her in when her mom gave up trying to fight freya into the cab ( honestly, her mom is a self-centered bitch with no regard for anyone but herself, but i digress )

in the years following, freya continued to visit her dad in prison, always parting with the same promise of freeing him one day ( his bail was set at some outrageous sum, so she’s literally been saving forever ). being so focused on that goal & completely disinterested in going to college, freya dropped right out of high school as soon as she turned 16 and moved into the medina apartments so she wasn’t freeloading off her dad’s friends anymore. when she leased the apt, she did so under her mother’s maiden name cos it’s better to be safe than sorry & bc her dad also had a lot of enemies lmao lbr

being a mechanic hadnt ever crossed her mind as something she’d be good at & even less something she’d enjoy. when she was fifteen, though, one of her cousins ( think, like, 5th cousins lmao ) offered to let her work at his garage instead of having to wait tables at a shitty diner or, even worse, babysit. at first she wasn’t too thrilled about it & it felt like she’d never get the hang of it, but with time, she found she really enjoyed the work, especially the reward of hearing the engine rumble when you start it up for the first time. she didn’t fall in love with it, though, until the charger. her cousin had the shell of a ‘69 dodge charger & told her that if she could fix it up, she could keep it. WELL, the next 4 years of scavenging and looting for parts eventually paid off, leaving her with a love for cars & the envy of muscled white guys everywhere.

a part of her life she’s much more public about, tho, is how much she loves to party. now, according to her, [shrek vc] parties have layers. there are the dull parties, where it’s frowned upon to drink more than champagne, there are club parties where it’s more dancing and drinking than doing hard drugs ( fun, but not the best ) & there’s the house party in which both alcohol and drugs are always available ( her personal favorite ). it doesnt stop there tho bc there are also layers to house parties! the absolute best kind of party, in her opinion, are valley parties. sure, there’s bound to be stuck up rich people with sticks so far up their asses they can’t bend to tie their shoes, but valley parties also have the best selection of top shelf liquor & entire rooms dedicated to doing lines. those parties are the absolute peak, in her opinion & she will never pass up an opportunity to attend.

personality wise .. well, let’s just say she doesn’t really have one ? unless you count being completely bitter and cynical about everything as a personality.. she’s very very short tempered and will not hesitate to make a scene if the need arises ( she loves to argue! loves to shout! so im sorry to all her neighbors! ). literally disagrees with everyone on everything for the hell of it and is the most stubborn personal alive. when her mind is made up u will absolutely never be able to change it so i mean good luck if u wanna try! adding on to the bitter thing.. she p much has it out for anyone who even thinks of lording themself over her ( @ her mom ) and pretending to be better than anyone else so she’d highkey start a fight with little to no provocation

im trying to think of other things that should be included on here but ? i cant vnjcomk feel free to ask me anything specific & hmu if u wanna plot!!

[batsysims]

didnt wanna do an actual Simself Edit™ so have an arrested development reference

anyways

i was tagged by @0cherub & i tag any1 who hasnt done this yet bc who doesnt like answering 125 questions abt themselves oh also @flavortowne im forcing you to do this sry

get to know me tag

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

3. BIRTHDAY? september 15

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES?  what?? are books

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye both

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? ummmm idk lmfao i havent “read” a “book”” in like 5 years 

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? 35 & 36 on sirius are like basically the exact same station but that doesnt mean i dont constantly alternate between the two whenever im near a radio

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? pink is a v trustworthy flavor

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? *owen wilson voice* wrow

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? what kinda question is this wt f ive currently reobsessed myself w marina and the diamonds so honestly any of her discography

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? idk any words :^/ sry

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? wheels on the bus im exhausted

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? man in the high castle. man in the high castle. man in the high ca

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? clerks al;dksfjf

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? almost exclusively sims and fallout but every once in a while some indie game i find on steam so. yea

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? never doing anything in my life and having nothing 2 look forward to!! yay

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? probably my resiliency, maybe?? idk

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my habit of allowing bad things to happen to me lol

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? cats but im sorta kinda indifferent 2 both i think i might 1 of the 5 ppl on earth who dont like having pets

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer and fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yea

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? not being lazy lmfao

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? @flavortowne eye emoji

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? its natural brown but im thinkn abt going either red or blonde again

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? like 3 ppl irl and everyone on discord u guys legit

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my person and @flavortowne eye emoji

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? tom hardy. what is his end goal

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? tbh going 2 basic lmfao im!! lame

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? as of right now,, spiderverse lol

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? teletubbies was fckn legit and so was old school spongebob

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my person

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? im not superstitious,,, but i am a little stitious

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? i cant deal w fishing poles idk

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? in front babey

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims or stitching play foods 4 the kid to use on her play kitchen

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? stop asking book questions

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? spiderverse yeye

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? piano & i try 2 pretend i know what im doing w a ukulele

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? stingrays :^)

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? legit all my mutuals

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? i had an oc that could read ppls memories like a scrapbook if he touched them and i always honestly thought that was. cool

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my house!! the door b locked bitch!!!!

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? toddler being an idiot toddler

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY?  its not really,, a sport,, but i bike

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? cream soda in those glass bottles is top tier non-alcoholic beverage

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? i wrote a letter 2 my person telling him he was an idiot and by the time it was mailed 2 his house i was already living there lol

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? either ppl blowing vape in my face or holding something so close to my face i cant see i just go ballistic

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nope unless u count a sesame street liveshow like 10 years ago

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope!

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cop lmfao

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? this is horrible but the setting of new vegas i just feel like id be at home there, w the radiation and constant danger and dehydration

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? the kid

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only when im looking in the mirror adlkfj start thinkn abt a different face showing up instead of mine idk

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yea

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? skipped a whole year adlfkj

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? this is basic but i miss the tri-state area

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? this is basic but i miss nj

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yea :^/ a dog, a cat, and uhhhh 14 fish

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but honestly im just always tired

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsettttt

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? i do

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones. they just work

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah but i need em

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? i listen to everything tbh

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? michael cera

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? i used to read them religiously but not so much any more. i am reading the TAZ graphic novel tho

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? having to repeat myself 20 times. or being an idiot when i wanna start a new hobby

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? idk how to read

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? honestly i had a blast in econ and my law enforcement class

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? a bro, another sibling, and a half-bro

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? food lmfao

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? every time i measure myself im 5′2″ but the government insists that i am 5′3″ so w/e

75. CAN YOU COOK? yeap

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? alcohol, bike riding, wearing stupid makeup

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? ppl holding me back, bird box, when my nail breaks before i can file it so its all oglee

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uh idk?? i dont have,, many,,,, friends

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? bi

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? sc :’^(

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my brother

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 nights ago the kid pistol whipped me in the chin w her phone and it just hurt so bad it legit made me lose it

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? ok this is dumb as shit the kid is obsessed w Blippi and i have a mom crush on him afdslfkjs

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? ye

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? i am currently obsessed w L.O.L. Surprise! Pop but all in all probs Pocket Camp

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? bad as parents but theyre fine now that im an adult and they have a grandkid they can like

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? i dont like a majority of them lmfao but idk maybe uh?? irish

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? rly wanna go to nevada but im moving to the mojave soon anyways so

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 15

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? i was raised christian but i dont rly give a shit abt any of that

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? outer space my dood the ocean is dumb and scary

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im jus livin my life

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? i mean. im lactose intolerant but thats abt it

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nope

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when im wrong abt something

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest ig bad choices

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? i dont think i was ever given advice, ever. maybe thats why im like this

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? idk i try not 2 lie unless its like. an obvious exaggeration for the lols

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? wtf idk ok i just did one of those quizzes & im a slytherin?? what does that mean

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? yeah

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? more of an introvert but im ok w going out there if i gotta

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? i keep one for the kid but thats abt it

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? nah. unless it was something stupid like burning food like im not gonna ban u from the kitchen

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? if theres an id i guess mail it 2 the address on there?? idk ive never just. found a wallet. i think this happens a lot less than all the hypotheticals make it out to be

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? if theyre dedicated to it. i dont think ppl can just do it over night and i dont think its ever a 100% change

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? dont touch me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yep

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? 2 in both ears but thats it

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? spidr...mna

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no :^( once im cleared for them tho deffo

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? i hate that this is the answer but enlisting adlfkjs

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yeah ig??

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? 2 late

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? we all b stupit

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? idk?? i get embarrassed but also get over it quick so like. idk

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yea

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black & red

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? mhm

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? i was on nickelodeon back when they had those cuts to the Live Studio Audience™

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i almost never eat anything sweet

[fyu-ture]

fu’s got a lot of complicated, contradicting feelings regarding his parents ( like .. fucking obviously but listEN )--and overall, towards those feelings, he’s super annoyed at them .. bc . he feels like . it rly shouldn’t be this hard to figure out .

it’s just that - he tries to lay it out simply in (1) one thought , but every time, it snowballs into a huge messy web before he even realizes it -- sometimes it’s so overwhelming, especially when he talks about it with people and has to organize his thoughts out loud and on the fly that he just kinda ... shuts down? seizes up? bc it’s just . a sensory overload when it all kinda clumps together all at once

he feels a sort-of Yearning for being a part of a family again - but knows that that feeling is just kinda smth he conjured up in his head from (his loneliness that he doesnt even realize or wanna admit is there)--he knows he Doesn’t rmr hardly anything from when they were alive, since--1) he was a Baby 2) he was Brainwashed and everything was hazey Anyway, but . . he can’t help but . Wish? Hope? that it would be smth worth yearning for?

(that said, he also doesnt feel desire to--make his own family, like marry or have kids. this is part of that not-realizing he just feels lonely; that its not some desire for ‘family’ specifically. he just. kinda desires companionship! as sappy as that is. and thats why he cant figure it out bc--why would he ever feel smth so sappy!??? )

he also feels   like   contempt towards the fact that he was brainwashed, obviously, of course--

and he also -- fears the day that they, if they ever come back bc he knows it’d just be that; not the cutesy happy family idea he has in his head, and he knows that--which, in turn, makes him feel like an idiot because he can’t shake that desire for that reality

and even then -- he doesn’t hate his parents for literally brainwashing him because for him and for them that’s. that’s normal! brainwashing was just what towa did, she didn’t do it to him to be malicious or evil ; it was just . her modus operandi . while that’s not something most people would just accept , ever, he -- because he was born into it first and then came to know free will after, it just--twists it up as not being so bad?in his head

that being said he regards towa and mira in general and their mission to revive the demon realm with this sort of shrugging “ehhhhh?” because--man does he not care about that .. at all...like, shit, if THEY wanna do that, like, i mean , go off i guess, but--

but then he stops because, ok, no, maybe don’t just go off, bc that would make a lot of ppl pretty miserable and unhappy ( -- people he--finally might get to start calling his friends! ) but then that’s -- sappy --

some big part of him, that immortal side of him that knows all of this is just so temporary and , in the grand grand grand scheme of things, so pointless and unimportant (in the ‘so why worry?’ kinda way)-- that side of him shrugs it off, but then he knows, he knows, what other part of him knows that’s a terrible way to look at it for everyone elses sake?

its. a mess. hes a mess. imagine all of this jumbled thought process happening in the span of a . second . am i being too extra by saying thats a lot??i feel like thats a lot ????? 

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

[therapybabbie]

January 28, 2021

First day of DBT was yesterday. I did not like it. It was like class and not personal and we couldn’t respond to the other patients, only the counselor could, which I hated. I will stick it out tho bc it is the only IOP thats not during my work schedule.

Also, I texted michael a couple nights ago and was like “I dont care what i said before, you and i are NOT cool!!!!! i only get madder and madder at you every day and you traumatized me!!!” or something to that effect, after which he was like “yeah i figured you wouldn’t wanna speak to me anymore after you unfollowed me on instagram. i’m so sorry i lied and cheated and i want to fix it, but you said nothing can fix it so idk what you want me to do.” 

so then the next afternoon i sent him like four paragraphs about the anger and humiliation he caused me and by 11:00 pm the next day he still hadnt responded and i was so mad i couldnt sleep so i texted him “I hate you so much. All that shit and all you cared about is that I unfollowed you on instagram.” and then he responded saying he’d been fucked up and crying all day and he didn’t know what to say and he’s “insanely sorry.” 

then this morning i obviously apologized for saying i hate him bc that is obviously not true, which i also said. I then was like “I’m just dealing with this anger that has nowhere to go and its so heavy blah blah” but in FOUR PARAGRAPHS (why did I do this). Then he was like “I’m really sorry you’re hurting because of me but there’s nothing I can do about it right now to help either of us.” THEN I just said I just want EMPATHY bc I feel like he NEVER tried to imagine being me during the worst things he did to me. and i want him to feel exactly what i felt and know he caused it.

then he said “i have felt that. i felt guilt and shame for so long and still am. i knew what i was doing was wrong and i was paranoid the whole time. i don’t know how to empathize well though, i’ve told you my struggles with that. I know I caused you pain and I want to make you feel better. But I’m also not going to be told I don’t feel anything”

then I explained that’s not what i was saying and i know he feels things, i just never FELT empathy from him regarding what he did to me over the past year. if he was empathetic, he wasnt expressing it in a way i recognize. it didn’t even seem like he was TRYING to be empathetic

and he said “I agree, I didn’t try at all. I was only focused on myself and getting fucked up. I’m an addict. That’s what I’m trying to fix right now. I’m struggling with processing everything and it’s hard. Some days I don’t feel like shit but other days like yesterday when you texted me I was crying about everything I’ve ever done. IDK how this shit works. I literally don’t have answers for you rn. I’m so new to trying to help myself that I don’t know where to start. Maybe in time I’ll have some answers for you but right now I’m just feeling shit. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do”

Then I said I’m happy he’s focusing on his addiction bc from what I know of him, the more he recovers in that area, the more other things will fall into place, which i hope happens for him

And he said “Thanks but I relapsed last night so not feeling great lol.” then i think he immediately realized he was veering into codependent territory and said “That’s not your problem, I’m sorry. I’m gonna go. I’ve got a lot of things to take care of on my day off. Hope you’re well.”

But I was still responding to his PREVIOUS message so I said I understand he can’t have answers right now, I hope he’s ok too, I’m sorry that me texting him all that probably contributed to his horrible day yesterday and that’s why I said we should stop talking in the first place, “but I’m going through hell right now too, so yeah I made a mistake and I’m sorry.”

Then to prevent myself from texting him again some other time, I said “I don’t wanna set you back by texting you some shit like that again while you’re working on recovery, but I’m worried I might. Do you think I should just delete your number, that way it’ll be up to you if you wanna talk again?”

And he said, which i don’t rly understand completely what this means but whatever, “its ok, i understand. it might be for the best that we do that yeah” Like?? why did he say we??? I didn’t say we both delete each others numbers and never speak for the rest of our lives, I said I delete his so he can contact me when he feels like it....but whatever its just texting semantics it doesnt necessarily mean anything

so i said “Ok cool, I promise not to contact you again. You let me know if you wanna talk again sometime later though”

and he said “Ok thanks” which I thought SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like you coulda just been like “Ok, I will” or something nicer. It seemed like he was annoyed that I was deleting his number even though i made it clear it was so that HE could contact me at his leisure and not have ME bother him when hes trying to quit drugs!!!!! but whatever......BPD crazy ass disease....this was probably some form of perceived abandonment (real or imagined)

I hope he talks to me again but not for like 3-4 months. I’m glad I set up this boundary for myself though bc now I can never text him first or it’d be too embarrassing. 

Oh, also, after that first round of texts I sent him the first night, he made his instagram private, which he NEVER has before so i guess he really was salty i unfollowed him. this is for the best tho cause now i cant stalk him, which i was only doing sometimes ok.....ok i did it for like 5 days over the period of time surrounding the anniversary of his mothers death to make sure he was okay. Which i think was fine and not creepy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think hes more just like “you locked me out of yours, well now you don’t get to see any of mine!” childish but i’d do the same thing

In general, I want this man to have a happy life in the near future. But not right now, not right after treating me like shit for so long. I’m glad he cried all day over something I said, it is only fair. And he will never grow if he never feels bad about this stuff. So it was nice to hear that he at least still cares, even if it meant him feeling like shit for a whole day. 

[miamihotlines]

im copying some of my friends by doing an ask thing whoops

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? like, sms? in which case NO 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? thank god not 3. Have you taken someones virginity? no 4. Is trust a big issue for you? yea i have rly bad trust issues 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? no, ive been cooped up in my house making art 6. What are you excited for? SPLAT 2 SPLAT 2 SPLAT 2 7. What happened tonight? i drew and hung out with some comrades on a discord server 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? no? why would i? i just worry if theyll be ok 9. Is confidence cute? im indifferent honestly 10. What is the last beverage you had? green tea 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? i only rly get along with guys so i guess? 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? too many 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? go to pride and have a Swell time 14. What are you going to spend money on next? video games probably 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? NO THANK FUCKING GOD 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? not really 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? i dunno honestly. ever since //d// left me i havent really felt comfortable talking to anyone  18. The last time you felt broken? right now 19. Have you had sex today? no 20. Are you starting to realize anything? my initial feelings during 8th grade were right. 21. Are you in a good mood? ???? 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? sounds fun 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? no, my dad has brown eyes and i have like. poopy brown 24. What do you want right this second? a cute anarcho-boyfriend to cuddle with and play video games with 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? cool i guess. i mean im kind of possessive sometimes but 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yea. i wanna dye it blue but school wont let me 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? i tried that once and uh. lets just say it was terrible 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? ryan’s bara tiddies 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? yes yes yes yes yes yes yes 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Anyone can turn themselves around. 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? a small part of me does. 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i dont really fully have feelings for him but i guess 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? i do sometimes, im trying to stop 34. Listening to? broken from the plastic beach album 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? mechanical pencils only 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? dont know dont care i hope i never see him again 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? i get infatuated with people but i wouldnt call that love 38. Who did you last call? my dad probably 39. Who was the last person you danced with? i dont dance 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? we were dating and i was on his lap watching anime 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? dont know but now i want one 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? i hug my dad everytime he comes home 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? all the time. i do it in the attempt they notice me 44. Do you tan in the nude? i want to. the sun is good for my acne 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? yes yes yes yes 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? no 47. Who was the last person to call you? my dad 48. Do you sing in the shower? of course i do. really off-key 49. Do you dance in the car? mostly when im with my squad and we listen to eurobeat while drving rly fast 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? no 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? uhhh a few months ago for band 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? no i love them so much 53. Is Christmas stressful? no, but its lost its charm 54. Ever eat a pierogi? a what 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? fruit is dumb 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? a scientist 57. Do you believe in ghosts? ghosts are a spook 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? had one earlier today 59. Take a vitamin daily? i have them but i forget to take them 60. Wear slippers? barefoot or bust 61. Wear a bath robe? no 62. What do you wear to bed? undies only 63. First concert? some christian band i cant remember 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? i fucking hate walmart so target 65. Nike or Adidas? adidas for the A E S T H E T I C 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos. but only the spicy ones 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? does peanut butter count? 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? ...bad blood 69. Ever take dance lessons? no 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? spouse? you think anyone would marry ME? 71. Can you curl your tongue? i think so? 72. Ever won a spelling bee? yeah. i was a big spelling nerd when i was a kid 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? sometimes. 74. What is your favorite book? the communist manifesto 75. Do you study better with or without music? vaporwave helps me concentrate 76. Regularly burn incense? every day 77. Ever been in love? a few times. doesnt happen very often 78. Who would you like to see in concert? GORILLAZ 79. What was the last concert you saw? same as before, some christian band 80. Hot tea or cold tea? cold 81. Tea or coffee? coffee 82. Favorite type of cookie? peanut butter 83. Can you swim well? i can, but not well 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yea but water still gets in my nose 85. Are you patient? no 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ. 87. Ever won a contest? ive won a few art contests in my day 88. Ever have plastic surgery? no 89. Which are better black or green olives? neither olives are gross 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? dont care 91. Best room for a fireplace? a living room with a tv and bear rug 92. Do you want to get married? not really. a ceremony would be nice tho

[thegeminisage]

hella spoilery zeldablogging from earlier tonight

feel kind of bad cause i had to look up the gerudo maze desert thing but i was SOOO close on my own

oh my god there's a lady over here by this shrine failing at cooking and all the recipes she teaches me give me dubious food

there are PILES of rotting garbage that have flies around them and the thing in the pot is sending up this black cloud of smoke lmao

wow the blood moon came in the middle of me clearing out an enemy camp :/

good god there's a stable out here in all this deep snow? how?? would the horses not, like, die?

aww beedle's here but he's cold ):

WOW you can upgrade the boy gerudo clothes but not the GIRL ones? that is SEXIST

oh noooo shield surfing DOES damage your shield i hate this i love my current shield what if i can't find another!!!!!

lol the ridge tower si surrounded by water and electric enemies. Great

omg i found the royal lab ruins ):

ok, i gotta begin prioritizing here

while i'd LIKE to complete all 120 shrines before i beat the game just for the armor, i don't think that's going to be possible - i haven't even unlocked some of them yet bc i don't have the snowballs or the quest takes so long

but the most important thing to me is memories

so after i check out all the ridge shrines on this map i'm gonna get the hyrule field map as well and get those memories

and i'll just save a lot and if i fuck something up and trigger endgame stuff i'll reload

god idk how to do this trial on the thunderplanes so like...im gonna let it be

see? i could never do all 120 before tmrw night

PLEASE this memory i just got was so cute zelda was being a nerd over plants and caught a frog she wanted link to eat :')

i love this zelda like i'm super not crazy about her voice actress sounding much older than i think of her as, and the fantasy british accent, but she has so much more personality than many of the others

ah, and i see now why she loved the silent proncess so...can't be grown domestically, only thrives in the wild

much like herself if you watch some of the other memories haha she feels trapped by her own destiny that's easy to see

i think it's super clever how even with a map you still have to look around for shrines bc they are hidden semi-underground

and i wish i had more time to stop and enjoy the little things like that, but i CAN come back and explore later, i can't unlearn a plot point

this spoiler fear might be a little baseless...tbh i also want to finish the main story tho bc like

i want it to be something i play in my free time, not something i obsess over 24/7 and HAVE to play and think about all the time

it's been a beautiful fun and absolutely life-changing experience but also it's been two weeks and i gotta get back to my actual life, i can't be Like This indefinitely

i'm kinda stunned that it took me this ling tbh? like, even skyyward sword was like a week and a half the first time iirc and i did that at like, a pace where i could stop and explore, i remember thinking how huge skyward sword was

omg im so glad i decided to ride epona down to where i need to go next rather than fast travel + walk bc 1. faster maybe? and 2. THE MAIN THEME PLAYS WHEN YOU'RE ON EPONA OVER THE NORMAL HORSE THEME i could weep

KASS IS BY THIS BRIDGE HI BUDDY I LOVE YOU

i solved the puzzle! this time im talking to him BEFORE i go in

he told me it was stupendous ;_; thanks pal

aw dude another memeory and it played the trailer music but

is zelda really only SIXTEEN about to turn seventeen? how old is link?? i guess under 21/18 if they wouldn't let him drink...

jesus, they're just babies ;_;

also, she quoted link's horse advice so like

this + the dialogue options gives the feeling that he does actually speak, you know? so as much as i love mute link i also like these glimpses into his personality as well, bc he's always been such a blank slate

he's empathetic, playful, sometimes downright goofy, and very tenacious - confident, but not in a cocky way, and obviously always a bit shaken when he gets a memory back

it's nice getting to know him a bit, even if you have to patch most of it together - kinda like narrachara lol

;w; it's so nice to have epona gallop over when i call her again

omg i think i found kass's house! i see his journal :3

haha i got this song "when the blood moon rises stand naked on that platform" ok nintendo

i wonder if you get all the puzzles do you get to tell him who you are ):

im tempted to unlock this one now lol

like, it takes a long time to get here and it's almost the blood moon

SIGH this is gonna take awhile but it'll save me time later

oh lmao it was JUST the blood moon so i'd actually have to wait a SUPER long time nvm tbh

well. welp. welly well well

i guess.......its time for hyrule field tower

Im Scared

wow. holy shit. i can see the great plateau from here...and it looks so small. i can see the temple of time, i can see the tower from which i first saw hyrule castle. i can even see the little path i nearly followed, when catching sight of my first moblin and becoming curious, before i got myself back on track. damn. Damn. i have come FULL CIRCLE, holy shit

and like, it's just the way i played it. hyrule castle for last. but you know? i love that shit. journeys ending the way they began. gets me in the feels every time

i'll be honest, THIS i could really stop and explore. forget those awful snowy mountains. this is where the #history is

oh god. i see a guardian down near that tower. please god don't let it be a mobile one

FUCK

i saw two still ones and relaxed and a mobile one snuck up RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND ME

[wheezing]

i don't wanna stop and grind but i worry i might HAVE to get some guardian armor before i can do this, even just one piece...!

i have a diamond circlet so all i'd need from the prof is the chest and/or legs........oh god. jesus fuck

motherFUCKER the range on those still ones, i wish i had been able to take them out...!

oh jesus i made it

this is it. final tower. thank fuck

there'll be more guardians, way more. i gotta at least check and see if i can afford some arrows without setting myself back further for the armor

i think i had all the mats i needed actually i just needed cash...maybe i can cook to earn some since i sold my monster parts

k, i only have enough gears for the chest OR legs, and i don't have enough rupees for either... :/

i COULD buy some arrows and still have enough mats for the armor but then i'd be setting myself back HUGELY re: rupees

ok, i FINALLY got the chest, jesus, now i can go back to hyrule field

altho it doesnt have any def and without even going to the fountain i know i cant upgrade it so rly is it worth it at all, but w/e

also, i read online that if you can learn the timing of parrying their lasers they go down REALLY easily but i suck so much at combat

i guess i'll just wear my anti-guardian stuff, i have daruk and mipha's abilities and fairies AND FAST TRAVEL if anything goes wrong

YES i did it holy FUCK

oh my god! three-shotted!

oh

i just climbed a small hill and got my first look at the rolling green plains...i missed you

no, no, i gotta go get epona to make this perfect, there's a stable i can warp us both to

omg it's the very first people i ever encountered outside the great plateau again

NOOO i hit epona when i was aiming for a monster baby i'm sorry!!!

i gave her an apple and some pats to say sorry ;w;

"legend says that an ancient voice resonates inside that sword...can you hear it yet, hero?"

frankly i'm glad they finally got their timeline shit together bc even tho the games are SO far apart im LOVING these continuity nods

yeesh, only two memories left but they're both RIGHT at the castle...im scared LOL

): i wouldn't feel right taking epona any further

reasons i never have money: cannot physically stop myself from buying arrows

oh, hyrule field is just beautiful ;___;

ohh god im scared

its fine its fine they wouldnt put a memory that close to the castle and then make you go back to impa if hat wasnt POSSIBLE its gonna be ok

awww no zelda sees link as a living reminder of her own failures?? whyyy

ha i love fighting guardians for the first time in ages im like COME TO ME LET US BATTLE

im uh. still working on the timing, but

oh JESUS

my mouth fell open in horror i climbed over a wall to get to the outsideish of the castle (castle town ruins, so says my map) and

the music was already creepy but jesus CHRIST

there's no color except for that blight evil goop stuff...no life...it's awful

poor hyrule, oh god

it's a lot like finding hyrule castle town devastated in oot when you first wake up, except of course this time we've nothing to compare it to visually, only emotionally...

i see a fuckton of guardians too so its a good thing i learned not to be scared of them

ok, god, i can do it, just one memory, i know RIGHT where it is

apparently the hylian shield is in here too and i am sooo sorely tempted

i mean if i have to get that fucking close anyway...

lord i googled it and apparently this memory is super hard to get you gotta Activate some shit but they did it this way they made it so you have to go back out i know i'll be able to come back out i WILL

ah, apparently you need to fight a stalnox for the hylian shield.ok. ok. good, great, Nice, Perfect

haha im soooo scared ;_;

ok, apparently the two paths are COMPLETELY different, so One Thing At A Time

we'll start with the memory, it's more important

tbh, i can't even bring myself to go in. i gotta go around anyway to get to the starting point of this path so i will

lmao i am almost PHYSICALLY ILL with dread this is SO stressful

JESUS

the music went all scary and the map is in 3D like a beast!! which i knew but it's so Much

and i got a cutscene of the calamity screaming with the Classic ganondorf theme i'm Dying how the fuck does anyone just get this memory and LEAVE holy shit

oh my god the main theme comes in!!! jesus

even ballad of the windfish a little?!?!

oh FUCK and ofc with the lightning

haha aww there's a "leave area" button on the map i can bail whenever i guess tat's reassuring

not yet!! i'm gonna have Courage

ohhh i dipped into a doorway just to wait for revali's thing to recharge and the music changed!! so i got scared and went back outside lol

oh god the higher you go the oranger the sky turns it looks like the blood moon jesus fuck

I MADE IT INSIDE

oh god, zelda's STUDY, the rooms all have names bc ofc they do

holder of the triforce of wisdom of COURSE she had a study she's such a nerd im crying i bet she loved it here and it's totally decimated

a silent princess sprouted in her study too ;_;

HER LULLABY IS PLAYING IN HERE IM GONNA CRY

oh good there's the memory!!

ohhh this picture of how it used to be is hurting my heart it was BEAUTIFUL

holy FUCK dude

ok old man is struck from my heart forever he was such a DICK to zelda no wonder he called himself a fool

link knelt right away but god damn i would have interjected on her behalf

you can't expect a person to pray 24/7!!!!

and deny her her passions, which are obviously machines and learning!

omg she has a journal in here and i almost missed it jesus

TODAY SHE MET WITH IMPA im cryin

omg this is her finding the sheikah slate!!!

jesus, and she found the shrine of ressurection too and hoped she'd never have to use it, and Yet...

oh GOD i hit leave area and it plucked me down in the middle of castle town nope nope nope fast travel outta there

ok to impa and then last memory i can do it and then do stream

and for once not play again afterwards bc to be quite frank i could never stress myself out this bad right before bed again, FUCK

hylian shield and all the rest of it tomorrow

h o ly fuck

he DIED protecting her, or he was going to, but she stood in front of him for once and finally unlocked the power, that's how she unlocked it, for HIM

i'm WEEPING and the sword made the fi noise from SS

even the sheikah warriors ran like sheik in smash bros

im gonna cry that was so much!!! there's so much continuity

fi is in TWO GAMES like...that was such direct referencing!!!!

SHE HAS BEEN FIGHTING ALONE FOR 100 YEARS jesus CHRIST she is SEVENTEEN

ok, im gonna watch all the memories in order and then quit for the night

i just realized the ceremony scene is where she mentions embers of twilight and adrift in time - putting us on the mm/tp timeline

aaaah im sad

god and i LOVE her princess dress i wanna see it in her classic pink why is everyone in this game blue??

so like, despite me not being crazy about zelda's voice ACTRESSS and the VOICE she's using, she actually does the best ACTING out of the entire cast

high key loving this zelda who is smart but has trouble with feelings, also

holy SHIT

ok so one of the first memories i got was of zelda coming down mt lanayru

amd it was badass and i enjoyed it

but there's SO much in there once you know more context

mipha was highkey about to spill to zelda that she was in love with link

revali's distain for link

urbosa seems less stern and more caring now that i know her better

now i know what zelda was trying so hard to do

"we have to keep trying until we find the thing that unlocks your sealing power [long shot of link]"

and "i'm not a child anymore" ofc it's bc she just turned 17! like link in oot!

oh man oh man

i love so much link's expressions in these serious moments especially that very last look into zelda's eyes before he "died"

it feels a bit like, with the other stuff i was talking about, i'm getting just a hint of character

and it's kinda close to My Headcanon but even if it wasn't i just like getting to know him

warped back to the temple of time & i'm leaving it there for the night

tomorrow: The End

(and my shield)