#but not really bc i forgot to mention as kids that one day they were arguing and emil sparked at clint who looked absolutely horrified

[leviscolwill]

adore

pairing: bsf!jude x fem!reader

summary: you adored your friendship with jude, but sometimes you wished things weren't so complicated between the two of you. [wc: 3,2k]

contents: mostly angst ??? a few cute moments here and there bc i'm fluff girly thru and thru 🤞, they can't communicate to save their life, drunk jude, a random man being annoying, jude being a dumb fuck, language, did i miss anything ?

note: this wip has been rotting in my drafts for a couple of months, i hope you enjoy it because i really enjoyed writing it 🫶

now playing adore by cashmere cat & ariana grande...

"please don't leave me y/n... you don't understand, i need you here."

"jude, i'm literally going to the toilet. i'll be back in 5 minutes, now let me go."

your best friend had always been the clingy type whenever he'd reach his alcohol limit (which was usually only after a couple of drinks). but tonight he was practically glued to your side, not that you minded, you basically spent your whole life attached by the hip. but you had to admit, it hurt a bit to see the person you couldn't have, not in the way you wanted to have him, at least, act all lovey-dovey with you.

the nature of your relationship with jude was complex, to say the least. he was your best friend since you were kids and you wouldn't change that for the world. but the way he looked at you sometimes made you yearn for something more, or whenever his touches on your shoulder or your waist would linger a bit too long to be friendly. maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, after all, the chances of jude wanting you the way you wanted him were very low, not to mention the fact you led two different lives. but it didn't matter, you could manage to live and long for him with the hope that one day you could be more than a best friend to him. and this thought was all you needed to face him and his sparkly eyes for the rest of the night.

when you got out of the bathroom, your mind was still full of thoughts of your relationship with jude running in your mind. you were so engrossed in your thoughts that you bumped into a man's chest, not really being careful about your surroundings.

"i'm sorry, i wasn't looking." you quickly apologise to him, you were already on your way to your friends before the man grabbed your wrist, quickly letting it go.

"it's okay sweetheart, can i get your name as an apology ?" you cringed at his poor attempt at flirting with you, but you weren't feeling confrontational tonight.

"i'm-"

"y/n !" jude's voice made your head turn in surprise.

"you were gone for so long i almost forgot what your beautiful face looked like." he said smashing his face on your shoulder.

"is that your boyfriend?"

"ummm, no he's my-"

"depends who's asking." jude interrupted you, side-eyeing the nameless man.

"jude. i can speak for myself." the look he gave you broke your heart a bit, his lips pouting in sadness.

"if he is not your boyfriend, i'd gladly take your number, might even take you back to my hotel room..." it was obvious to everyone around that the situation was uncomfortable for you, that familiar feeling of disgust you always got when a man was being too friendly creeping on you.

"who do you think you are?" your best friend stared at the man with a frown on his face.

"jude, let's not..." the tension between the two men was evident as people stopped to stare at whatever was happening.

"relax mate, i just wanna talk to your friend nothing more." the stranger grabbed your wrist, still looking at jude, testing him, testing how far he would go to stop this.

"let me go." you didn't have to try getting away from him because jude did it for you.

the nameless guy suddenly let you go, and seeing him hold his jaw while screaming profanities at your best friend was all you needed to understand what just happened. jude punched him, but the alcohol in his veins prevented him from dodging the punch that came straight for his eyebrow.

immediately you took jude's arm before he found another idea to mess up your night some more, and walked out of the packed club for some air. you ordered a uber for the two of you and texted your friends that you were getting home early.

even fresh air couldn't rid you of the anger that coursed through your body. of course, you were mad at the man who couldn't keep his hands to himself. but another part of you couldn't help but be pissed at jude and his impulsive behaviour. but when you looked at him and saw blood trickle down from his eyebrow, everything was suddenly forgotten and you could only worry.

"fuck you're bleeding, why didn't you tell me? fuck, fuck, fuck." you searched through your bag for a tissue, mentally cursing yourself for how messy it was, and handed one to jude.

"just didn't wanna bother you..." he mumbled, holding it to his wound.

you both waited for the uber in complete silence, you knew you needed to have a conversation with jude about what just happened but you'd do it tomorrow, when he was sober and when your judgement wouldn't be clouded by anger.

thankfully, your uber didn't take too long to arrive, you helped jude put his seatbelt on after watching him struggle with it for a good minute. the atmosphere was tense and it seemed the driver felt it so he didn't try to make conversation with any of you.

you were halfway to your destination when you felt jude's fingers brush against yours lightly. you took a glance at where your hand lay, on the middle seat, jude's hand was right next to yours and when you looked at him he was suddenly entranced by his shoes, busy pretending it never happened.

you were sick of him acting like a child, so you held his hand, since he obviously wouldn't do it himself. the rest of the drive was silent but the atmosphere was peaceful, a nice change from the club.

you let go of jude's hand once you arrived at the villa you rented with your group of friends. you immediately took jude to the bathroom to clean his cut, he looked like a child while you were gathering the material you needed, mumbling words to himself with a frown on his face.

"is it gonna hurt?"

"probably not." these were the first words you exchanged since the club, the uneasy atmosphere of the room wasn't one you were used to whenever you were with jude. he was the one person who could understand you the best in the world, but it just wasn't the case tonight.

"can you hold my hand?" it was like he turned four again. but you couldn't deny anything from him, especially not when his eyes were glassy from all the drinks he had, so you took jude's hand in yours.

you started cleaning the cut, fully focused on your task, trying your best not to be distracted by the way your faces were inches from each other's.

"you're so pretty..."

if there was one thing you knew about drunk jude, it was that had loose lips. he couldn't keep any secret from you whenever he had the right amount of alcohol in his veins, and that often worked in your favour, but right now his words were only distracting you from your job.

"don't say that..." your heart was racing both at his words and at the proximity you two shared.

"i mean it." he was tracing your jaw with his fingers. you felt your hand quiver at the unexpected contact, and afraid you might mess something up because of jude, you quickly put a bandage on top of his, now clean, cut.

you started tidying up everything you used and expected jude to go to his room but he didn't budge.

"what's wrong?" you were a bit worried his injury was more serious than you thought and his brain was just working a bit slower than usual.

"kiss it better... please?" he said pointing at his bandage with a kissy face.

you were torn between kissing or slapping some sense into the boy standing in front of you. jude bent down so your face was in front of his, you obliged because you knew hammered jude would not have let you go to bed before you kissed him better. not because you wanted to, of course.

he was still unmoved, looking deep into your eyes so you took his hand in yours and led him to his bedroom for him to get a good night of sleep.

once you got jude to his bedroom safely, which wasn't an easy task given how starstruck he was at every little everyday thing in the house, he threw himself on his bed and grumbled something about clothes, before taking off his shirt with no prior notice. you immediately looked at your feet to give him some privacy while he changed clothes. he only giggled at your action saying he knows how much you would like to watch undress. which wasn't true, of course.

you took a quick peek, to make sure he was under his sheets. handing him a glass of water once he had his sheets pulled up to his chin and a content look on his face.

"no thanks, i'm not hungry."

"this is a glass of water?" you were perplexed at jude's words. the fatigue of your body preventing you from trying to understand his nonsense.

"well, i'm not hungry for water." you sighed at his childlike behaviour and considered shoving the water down his throat at some point before retracting, not really wanting to deal with the homicide of one the most in-demand football players of the moment.

you placed the glass on his bedside table and walked towards the door, unwilling to talk to a very drunk jude when all your body asked for was a good night of sleep.

but you couldn't ignore jude calling your name in a tired voice. you turned around to listen to whatever he had to say to you, only for him to beckon you closer with his hand. you rolled your eyes but still obliged, sitting on the unoccupied side of his bed.

"i just wanted to know why you were mad at me tonight." you didn't want to have this conversation tonight, but it seemed jude had other plans.

"because even if your intention was right, i think we could've solved the issue with no fits of screaming and fighting. i know you meant right but you can't just act without thinking all the time." you weren't even sure jude was registering your words properly, his eyes moving up and down your face.

"but i was mad at him too, he kept talking to my girl as if i wasn't right there." although jude was hardly convincing by the way the words came out of his mouth all slurred, you had to admit him calling you his girl put a faint smile on your face.

you thought your best friend was done but he just kept right on.

"fuck, you don't even know how many times i wished i was your boyfriend to stop these men looking at you that way. i mean i wished i was your boyfriend all the time, but especially then and also when you show me whoever you're talking to, you really have a vile taste in men y'know."

you looked at jude in total shock, he wasn't aware of what he just said from the way his face had the same drunken expression as before.

"do you mean it?" maybe he was pulling a prank on you. the look on his face didn't seem too serious, but then again he was drunk, how could you know how serious he was?

he laughed, how could he laugh in what was a very serious situation from your point of view?

"of course i mean it, sometimes it even looks like you want me too, maybe i just thought wrong. just tell me you don't want me, i reckon i could live with the fact i'm your best friend a bit longer." jude's nonsense somehow got even more nonsensical. how could he be saying all this with a smile on his face? even worse, how could he possibly think you didn't want him to be your boyfriend? you didn't even know what to say to him. hell, was there even a right thing to say in this exact situation?

"you can't do this to me jude... you can't just say this shit to me when you're drunk out of your mind. what do you expect me to say? i don't even know if you're aware of what you're telling me right now." words finally found their way out, your voice was much less cheery and much angrier than his as you felt a sense of injustice seeping through your veins. how could he say this to you like it was the simplest thing in the world? did he only love you when he was drunk? did he actually mean that, or was he over-exaggerating things under the influence?

"i love you and i loved you for a long time, please believe me, i know you're my best friend, and i don't want to ruin things between us... but i just needed to get this off my chest." jude was truly confused as to why you were so mad at him for this sudden 'confession'. of course, you didn't have to reciprocate his feelings, but he could only think about how he ruined your friendship for good from the way you responded so vehemently.

"goodnight jude." you left his room before he could add anything, and your thoughts were already running wild. you weren't sure if you should be feeling happy that he felt for you what you felt for him, or if you should be mad at jude for dropping this bomb on you so suddenly when he could clearly not think straight, making you doubt about the whole thing.

if you were overthinking before, your brain was now about to explode from everything that just happened in the span of an hour.

once you got under your sheets, no amount of sheep counting, lofi music, or breathing methods could put you to sleep. your brain was screaming at you, urging you to freak out about what just happened. every and each of your thoughts led back to jude, your own brain was torturing you, forcing you to separate truth from fiction at 3am.

you wished jude told you the truth, you wished his drunken words were his sober thoughts. but you didn't know how you were supposed to act like this never happened if this wasn't the case. how could you possibly come back to your little role, so well perfected over the years, of jude's best friend after he gave you the smallest glimpse of hope? your friendship with jude was the most important thing for you, but you wondered if you'd be able to pretend for the rest of your life or if you would go insane before that.

when sleep finally started taking over your endless train of thought, you came to the conclusion that if he meant what he said earlier, he'd have no issues telling you once he sobered up. you comforted yourself with this idea while your eyes closed by themselves, no more energy left in them to fight for the sake of overthinking.

jude had been avoiding you all day. the only time you exchanged an eye contact was during breakfast and even then he quickly went back to his room, not speaking a word to you. you could tell he was avoiding you like the plague, if he happened to be where you were he'd immediately flee the room, suddenly mesmerized by his phone.

you wished you were mad at him for how he was treating you and how he was making you feel, but the truth is, you could only focus on your heart breaking a little more each time he'd walk past you like you were two strangers.

after dining with the rest of your friends, you decided you were sick of jude's little games. if he didn't want to talk to you, then you would confront him whether he liked it or not.

it took you all the strength of the world to knock on his door after taking a deep breath.

no answer.

there was no way he knew it was you, you were sure of it. maybe he was just avoiding everyone tonight? you quickly refuted this idea, you saw him laugh with a couple of your friends half an hour ago.

you knocked again, a bit harsher this time to make sure he'd hear it. still nothing. you were preparing yourself to knock one more time, with much less hope than the first time.

"y/n, what are you doing?" yasmeen's voice startled you, it almost felt like getting caught doing something you shouldn't be doing.

"um... just needed to talk to jude, do you know where he is?" you couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the question. you were his best friend, if anyone should know where he was, that would be you. and your friend's dumbfounded look wasn't helping the heat creeping on your face right now.

"what do you mean? he left like an hour ago, had an unexpected meeting in london or something like that... he didn't tell you?"

it had been a very long time since you felt this way, maybe since middle school when your math teacher made fun of you in front of the whole class. your mouth suddenly drying, the sensation of your heart constricting, and your eyes stinging, trying their best not to let the sadness spill. it all felt like one big joke, you hoped jude would open the door, he'd tell you he was messing with you, he'd tell you everything he said last night again.

but that moment did not come. you couldn't answer yasmeen, afraid that the truth might spill along with your tears if you uttered a word. you simply shook your head, and went to your room, trying your best not to meet her eyes. your friends weren't blind, they could tell something was wrong between jude and you today, although none of them asked you what happened, they just kept a watchful eye on you and the way you looked at jude, in hopes he'd look back.

it felt good to cry in the privacy of your own room, far from the speculative conversation others were most likely having about the whole situation.

once your eyes were short of tears, you somehow found the strength to take your phone and click on your messages with jude to type a new one.

let's just keep doing what you did all day

i'll pretend you don't exist and last night never happened

probably best for us :)

[sandwhitches]

request: "can i have an orange and cherry popsicle (hurt/comfort) w suna where he accidentally snaps at reader ??? u can decide how it ends exactly but id like it to be fluffy :3"

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 (𝐟𝐭. 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨)

a/n: u already know i’m going the fluffy route :3 had to repost bc im stupid and forgot tags the first time whoopsies!! also i was like not gonna put a banner on all of these but i don’t think i can physically make a post without one they’re so cute eeughhhh

genre: angst w/ a fluffy ending (hurt/comfort)

warnings: language, gn. reader, teeny argument, mentions of accidentally missing a meal

wc: 779

this is a part of my summer writing event!!! please feel free to send some requests my way :3

In theory, bad days happen just as much as good days, but every once in a while there is a particularly bad day that will fall onto your lap when you least expect it. That’s what today was for Suna. Particularly bad. 

This morning he’d rolled out of bed thirty minutes late, nothing too out of the ordinary for him, which is why he’s well versed in rushing a shower and scarfing down enough sustenance to last him until the afternoon. Traffic on the way to early morning practice? Been there, done that. Hours worth of conditioning? A little bit annoying, but it's not the first time that’s happened. Losing track of time and forgetting to eat lunch? Kinda sucky. Walking to his car to find a terribly noticeable door ding on the passenger’s side? Really sucky. 

Suna happened to have compiled an impressive list of minor inconveniences to combine with the other stack of shit, and it all adds up to the very worst part, taking it out on you. 

It was just an innocent question on your behalf about the dent in his car, “And you’re gonna have to pay?” You frowned sympathetically, watching in confusion as his expression turned completely to a sour contortion of a scowl, “Obviously, I am, the other car was gone by the time I came out.” He huffed in agitation with a superfluous roll of his eyes to seal the deal. 

You sputtered, brow tensed, “You don’t have to get so defensive.” Rintaro had groaned in response, tilting his chin, “Well what kind of a stupid question is that when I already told you what happened?” His breath caught in his throat with instant regret as you set your jaw tight with frustration, there was no doubt you were holding back a return that would only escalate what’s already been blown out of proportion. You stormed off, leaving Suna with the feeling that he quite possibly might be the biggest idiot in the world. 

As of now, you’ve only had the chance to be alone for a few minutes, taking your anger out by completing your most aggressive attempt at folding laundry to date. Suna knocks on the doorframe of your bedroom to announce his presence, you turn around to find him nervously thumbing at the meat of his palm, a guilty expression. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, looking up at the shift in your expression to gauge whether or not he was about to have a t-shirt thrown in his face. Who was he kidding? You’re the most understanding person he knows and he was stupid enough to snap at you. Suna thinks, in that moment, that there will never be anything big enough for him to get mad at you for again. Nothing feels worse than being like this, not even waking up late, nor conditioning, nor missing lunch, and especially not getting door dinged. 

“I just-...” he blows out a breath that makes his cheeks puff up while he sorts through countless words, trying to find the right ones to fix things, “I had a really bad day, and I’m sorry it made me snap at you…I'm an idiot.”  

“…You kinda are, huh?” Suna looks up to find that the echo of a grin has replaced the deep frown you had before, making the knot in his chest begin to loosen gradually. Rintaro huffs out a quiet laugh, “Yeah…” 

For a moment, you thought there might still be something else in his mind with the way his eyes dropped, head swimming in thoughts. The question sitting on your lips was quickly replaced by a yelp as Suna steps forward, wrapping you in his big arms and collapsing onto the bed.

“I love you, you know that?” He declares loudly, taking every playful kick you really don’t mean as you giggle uncontrollably, “Get off of me, Rin!” 

Suna snickers, kissing the crown of your head, “I can’t let go of you! Not until I make things right!” Your stomach already hurts from laughing as you writhe against him, feeling the lovely placements of tender kisses peppered across your face. 

“Let go before I put another dent in your car!” You shout, earning a bout of laughter from your boyfriend, “Low blow! I’m still recovering!” Suna knows that today was supposed to be bad, and for the most part it really was. But right now he has you pressed up against him like this, he can feel the rise and fall of laughter in your ribs, he smells the powdery scent of your shampoo, and presses his face into yours as close as physically possible. Yeah, he thinks, bad days don’t really exist if they all end like this.

[t1oui]

going to school and being friends with percy jackson would be REALLY WEIRD so let's discuss it rq

he gets dropped off every day in his stepfather's car, which inexplicably has hoof prints on the hood?

the panic attacks... there's a lot of them, and nobody can even tell what's triggering them at this point

the old counselor disappears about a week into his first year at AHS (here's some cotg lore for yall) and is replaced by a weird lady who finds a way to bring percy up to every. single. student. who visits her office.

randomly disappears multiple times throughout the year

very very sea green eyes and a gray streak in his hair

once got out of the pool after swim practice and was completely dry (he insists it was a trick of the light)

the blue food obsession ofc

talks about his girlfriend annabeth all the time... even his friends are convinced it's a "my canadian girlfriend" situation bc he never calls her. he doesn't even have a PHONE

always carries around a pen in his pocket and even though it's just a shitty old ballpoint, NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH IT. also he never uses it. ever.

every teacher has sent an email with their concerns about him to the counselor and when that doesn't work to his parents. the responses are always very awkward and vague

talks about his bio dad a lot... never explicitly negative but bro clearly has daddy issues lol

will sometimes randomly mention camp/war/gods and then brush it off like it never happened

absolutely vibrated in his seat the entirety of the greek mythology unit... told the teacher "a demigod named perseus fought ares once" and the teacher just assumes he means the og (aka the one he's named after)

that one upbeat popular guy everybody knows absolutely nothing about, his friends included

they probably have a spreadsheet with all the info they actually DO know about him

finds a way to brag about his mom in every conversation no matter how irrelevant... his friends are used to it atp

everyone's so used to seeing him smiling and laughing that when, say, he catches a younger kid being bullied, it's actually terrifying to see how angry he gets. everybody in that hallway gets chills

there's something off about him and nobody can tell what. that's just how he is

sometimes weird people in weird outfits are hanging around the school and they're ALWAYS looking for him.

every time someone asks what college he's going to he gives a different answer or straight up avoids answering so nobody actually knows

(if he says a school and someone is like "omg me too" he changes his answer right then and there lol... he's like "oh nvm i forgot i'm actually going here my bad" and the person is so confused)

nobody ever sees him working on college applications but he complains about having to do them all the time... bro is like "yeah i had to go through a sewer system but at least my girlfriend and my best friend were there" and his friends are like yo HUH

never explains anything he says

presentation night presentation = all the shittiest things my family has done and he's laughing about it but wdym your aunt kidnapped you and gave you amnesia???

sometimes he's getting fed up with a teacher or another student and a pipe randomly bursts in the school. like it's weird how often his anger ends in a plumber being called when he's nowhere near the problem

where everyone else is excited to watch a movie and chill in class, percy complains through the entirety of hercules - not just "oh this movie sucks", more like "god hercules is such a dick, idk why they made him chill in this movie"

the weirdest part is how, when percy complains about zeus being a good dad in the movie, it starts thundering outside

nobody can keep track of how many schools he's been to at this point... there's a whole section of the spreadsheet for this

when percy's friends finally meet annabeth they are SHOOK bc they truly did not think this girl was real

alright i can't think of anything else but if i DO i will add on later

[seventhcallisto]

Chapter 11 — "you promise?"

—Deep Down.

Toc/cw; ateez being absolutely fking whipped for you. Mutual pining(they don't know its mutual tho). unironic use of alpha(I'm sorry ik it's bad). omega, omega, and more omega. (you'll understand that soon) fluffy but also really angst but dw it's gonna be okay I SWEAR. You overworking, mention of diet culture (for one line) and the struggles of being an idol, suggestive undertones towards the end. If I forget warnings, it's bc I don't know or forgot to add them.

There's a forbidden trail you follow. One you never thought you'd be led on. Wooyoungs hands are firm and soft when he pulls you along, and your tears dry quickly. Something you've gotten used to with time, the way his soft, smooth hand holds your own. You wish to be able to feel them for the first time again.

The first time. It was a fan sign. It's one of the first ones. You can't believe how nervous you were, yet you stood your ground and faced the crowd. Deep and methodical breaths filled your lungs.

Wooyoungs hand slips into yours under the table, out of view from everyone. If it was accidental, he doesn't seem to notice. Back then, you were just as small and niave. He squeezes once. Then twice. You wait. Feeling as if you should anticipate something.

You watch him from the corner of your eye. With his free hand, he waves, on his chubby face is a smile. His purple hair sways from the fans overhead. You want to push it out of his face.

You squeeze. Not once. Not twice. But three times. 'I love you.' The three squeezes. Letting the words echo in your mind. You don't expect him to know it. Something you learned when you were a kid in a foreign place, pretending to know what those words actually meant.

He squeezes back, one time.

You don't even pull your head up to look at the car. Don't even bother to watch where you step when you get into it. Wooyoung does the guiding for you. Doubtfully. Messily. He's never been good on his feet unless he was dancing.

That's not true, but he wants to make it seem like he's not nervous at the realization.

You, the beta of the pack. The one he's got closest with as soon as you met. You, the slick smiling, bias wrecking, only girl, 9th member of his permanent group. You, who he loves to squeeze, tease, and mess around with. the most calm, level-headed, beta person he knows.

The alpha can't believe it. Well, not to stereotype. But he's definitely stereotyping when he says you are- were the definition of beta.

You're an omega? He doesn't understand it himself.

It's a flashback to the day seonghwa found your bottle of scent suppressants.

It takes him a while to realize what it is, fiddling with the bottle in his hands.

"What's this for?" He asks, yunho. His left eyebrow raised. Yunho sits across from him on the free couch. He sits on the edge, scratching at his hair. The energy he holds is as if he's about to defend the reason he slipped the bottle into seonghwas hand when they got through the front door from filming. And he does.

"Have you been noticing anything off with her?" He points to the bottle, eyebrows raised. Seonghwa tries to connect the invisible dots yunho is throwing at him.

He nods. But he speaks up, "she's been different since she came back from the hospital. She's tired." He defends your honor even if it isn't something you said directly. Seonghwa looks back down at the yellow label. 'New Box' is the headline of the bottles sticker.

'Scent suppressants for all sexes, works best for omegas and betas' the smaller fine print says under it.

"Did you steal this from her bag???" Seonghwas jaw drops, he finally connects some of those invisible dots. A picture is beginning to form.

Yunho shoots up from his seat, pacing between the couches. "I did, but earlier today at the monitor, you remember, yeah?" Yunho looks to seonghwa briefly. His hand falls to his hip.

"Yes.. and?" How could seonghwa forget the display his younger membered showed with you? He had half a mind to turn away and walk. It's not like he was jealous, not with yunho.

He's just not a big fan of being touchy in public, but he wouldn't have mind if he was there, telling you you're perfect along with yunho. He doesn't think about it any further.

"When I was showing her the monitor, I leaned over, and when I did, I smelt.." yunho rubs a hand down his face. "I smelt her, really her," even yunho sounds crazy to himself.

"You know that artificial smells she's had since she came back?" Yunho jumps to the deep end. "Yeah?" Seonghwa sighs. Yunho takes his seat across seonghwa again. "That's what that is, and since I helped myself to her bag. I found a bunch of other things too"

Seonghwa doesn't want to pry into your personal stuff. But yunho doesn't sound too far-fetched. Yunho pulls out his phone, handing it to seonghwa. On the screen is a picture. The first thing he sees is a couple of small roll on perfumes. Clear, tiny fluid filled bottles without labels. A couple of medications he knows you keep on hand. Headache relief and sore body relief pills. Your tiny knick nacks take up the bottom of the bag, it's endearing really, everything in the bag screams you.

'Heat suppressants'

His eyes bulge. He zooms in with the pads of his fingers, zooming in on the bottle. Like birth control, it's got a subtle design to blend in.

Seonghwas heart leaps to his throat. He blinks, at a lost of words. "Thats not all" yunho leans behind the couch tucked against the wall. Where he pulls out something he hid.

Yunho throws the brown bag he recognizes from earlier this week, from when you got back from the hospital. The bag san grabbed. It's zipped open.

Tea bags and cake recipes in plain boxes. Shampoo and conditioner seonghwa is unfamiliar with. Perfumes and bottles of lotion he knows none of the guys or you use. But most distinctly is the smell of you. The scent of you. Vetiver, pumpkin, ambrette, and morning rain. There's the linger of alcohol and artificial scents in it.

Artificial beta you. It's surprising since it's coming from a bag and not the direct source that is your comforting aroma.

"She's an omega" yunho breathlessly says, taking the words straight from seonghwas' thoughts. The news isn't as shocking as he thought I'd be, it's like he already knew deep down.

Hongjoong doesn't know anything about that. The day he returns to the apartment at 4 am, he's surprised to see you wrapped up all comfy on couch. For a second his eyes watch the screen flicker across your soft features.

And when he takes his seat next to you, his hand drifts to find you. Subconsciously, his finger touches the soft skin on your ankle. He doesn't dare move any further.

He knows his hand is cold, his rings even colder. When you shiver, but don't pull away. You unconsciously drive him crazy. The back and forth conversation is at the very back of his mind. He misses you. He missed you a lot. And since he's been so busy, he hasn't gotten the chance to actually be there with you ever since you got back.

That week without you was miserable.

"I wanted to wait for you," your soft voice says. It echos in his head and peirces the silence that settles over the two of you. God, if only you knew how long he's been saying that for years to imaginary you that loves him equally so. Whenever you got close, and he wanted to lean in and kiss you all over.

But it's all in his head. And that's where it'll stay.

When your hand grips his, he leans in so you're not contorting yourself. "Lay with me?" You don't have to ask twice. Hongjoong scoots up right next to you. He drinks in your makeup free face, bare skin on display. A little breath you let out has him looking down at your plump lips, he quickly looks back up, hoping you didn't catch his stare.

"Nightmare?" He whispers, that's the only reason you stayed up, that's the only reason you want him so close. It's his duty as the pack captain to keep you safe in his close proximity. He pushes out his scent, hoping to ease you.

Your soft breathing fans his face, your droopy eyes slowly closing. His favorite smell in the entire world is you. Distant Vetiver. He breathes out. Watching your face relax. Soft Pumpkin. His hand falls over your hip. He wants so desperately to pull you closer. ambrette, and morning rain. He didn't know morning rain could smell like anything, but it's you.

You. It's always been you. All day, ever since you walked up that hill and gave him the most content of hug when you got back, the smell you unconsciously pushed out from the scent gland on your neck. he's been thinking about it.

You don't smell like those familiar scents anymore. You smell completely different now.

Sweet sugary nectar that enraptured his every being. And he isn't upset about it. Something in him is very fond of it.

When he wakes up the morning after. He doesn't want to move an inch. But he knows if he doesn't, your neck will be sore from the awkward way it lays on his arm. He sits up slightly, wordlessly wiggling his arm from under your head. He makes sure it doesn't fall with his hand cushioning you.

For a minute, he doesn't slip his hand from behind your head. His right thumb caresses your cheek, soft and shallow. You lean into his touch whilst you sleep, and he smiles down at you, a small snicker passes his lips at the situation. He bites his grin back.

Hongjoong wants nothing more than to be wrapped around your finger. To be the guy you want. To take care of you like you do him.

Hongjoong wants you to come to him with the truth when you're ready.

Jongho walks past your room. Once, twice, five times. Every time he wants to knock, he hears you on the other side. And he freezes up. He's like some lovesick puppy crawling at your door, whining to be let in.

Fuck it.

He knocks and pushes your door open. You're spread on the bed, your comforter and sheets scrunched up around you. The sun from behind him casts on you like an angel. The hue of sleepiness in your eyes when you lock them with his has him gulping nervously.

"Want to get some breakfast?" He sighs into his words, letting the anxiety out. Your smile- That makes jonghos' heartbeat thump loudly in his ears- lights up your face.

"Yes"

The walk is short, something jongho isn't fond of when he gets the chance to have these moments with you. Your shoulders bump. And he pulls the door open for you. The crowd only makes him walk closer to you.

You wrap your arm in his. Do you know what you're doing? You're killing him. Truly. Even the tiny things hold him hostage.

When he goes to order, you don't cut him off. That's the first red flag he sees. You're so independently you. It's custom for you to do so.

When you lean up to whisper in his ear. That's the second one. You never lean up to anybody. Usually, people lean down to hear you. Not the other way around. Still, he meets you halfway.

Jongho slides next to you, the excuse of it's too crowded on this tip of his tongue if you ask. You never do. You don't pull away when his shoulder bumps yours. "How's your elbow?" His fingers graze your arm.

You look up at him, your brows crease. It's then jongho thinks about how short you are. It distracts him only for a second.

You respond simply, shrugging him off. That's red flag number three. Jonghos eyebrows furrow, and his face pulls at his mask.

"If it wasn't, why were you in the hospital for a week?"

He watches the war of emotions flash your features. And that's the final straw for him. You clearly lie when you mumble out an excuse. He wants to press you. What are you lying about?

Why would you lie?

"Tests? What for?" He leans on his shoulder, staring at you from over the black mask on his face. He takes charge of the conversation. He waits.

"Because i.. because I'm a -" Ding!

The ding signifies jongho clicking everything into place. It's like a puzzle he's been working on. How you smelt different when he hugged you after you returned. How docile you looked this morning. How you leaned up into him. How you grabbed him. All of this is so uncommon for you.

Jongho is so used to you looking throughly messy in the morning. It's not something he dislikes (he likes how you look always), but it's so you to be messy. You leaning up into him, he doesn't ignore the way you take a big inhale in his ear before you speak. It's not his imagination. These things are so unlike you. Yes, you are the beta standard. Everyone agrees. Even you. But this.. You're being so.. he can't wrap his head around it.

Because.

He walks up to the counter, taking everything he ordered in his strong grip.

Because you're an omega and jongho is the alpha who figured it out.

Jonghos feet past faster than yours on the concrete. He doesn't slow down because he's locked in thought. He doesn't even notice when he sets a tone he didn't mean. He's gotta ask someone else about this.

He's got to figure something out.

Mingi is so clueless when it comes to you. Mingi is.. actually very clueless all the time. When yunho bursts into their shared bedroom. Ripping off the blanket from mingi. He's got half a mind to sit there, blinking his eyes in a sleepy daze. Yunho explains his master plan.

Mingi doesn't register any of it until yunho tells him a second time.

Mingi isn't unhappy about being told by yunho that you're an omega. He's completely still out of it. He's mostly unhappy he didn't figure it out himself.

It's very mingi to come to your room with a pillow that smells heavily like him. Your room is the most comforting in the apartment. He likes to think he contributes to it because his scent lingers in your bed the next morning. A certain possessiveness mingi indulges in.

Your sleepy face turns towards him. Beckoning him in.

He forgets the story yunho prepared for him.

You are so pretty. "Can I sleep in here tonight?" He fiddles with your doorknob when you look at him. He knows if the media got wind of how pretty you actually are, they'd be all over you in a second. He's somewhat happy the makeup artist don't do your specific features justice. When you let him in, he kicks his feet when he falls on your bed. The bed that smells like you.

The sugary sweetness under the mask of your beta scent is something he particularly takes a full second to shove his face in.

"I sleep better in your bed," he finally says, pulling his face up from your spot that smells specifically like you and no one else. Your fingers pull the glasses off his nose. He forgot he even had them on. As you lean over to put his glasses on your side table. He takes an indulgent whiff of you.

"It's because my room isn't messy," he can hear the smile in your words. It makes him smile. He bites his cheek gently. In the silence he tries to remember what yunho wanted him to say.

"I'm sorry again," he murmurs. And like you always do, you reassure him. It isn't his fault. There's no witty remark, something you usually make because you prefer to keep things light and he knows that.

Your excuse doesn't make him upset either, he doesn't think anything you do will make him upset. When he says something that makes you laugh, his heart pumps blood up his neck and his cheek grown warm.

He knows he's awake enough that it's not the drowsiness that takes over his next moves. Mingi searches for your hand under the pillow, when he finds it, he pulls it closer to his side. A satisfied sigh leaves his parted lips.

The softness of your skin to mingi is like falling into a basket of bunnies. Okay, maybe he's being dramatic. But his thumb caresses you like he would a bunnies ear.

What does he say now?

"I'm here if you ever need anything" it slips outs, his finger parts your thumb to intertwine his fingers between his. The scent glands between his fingers meet yours. A passionate and forward display of affection that mingi soaks in.

Until you pull away. And the faint crack of his heart rings in the dark room.

San and yeosang share the space at the top of the tower, prideful, they watch you lean and maneuver yourself. San is doing most of the shouting.

As soon as you get close enough, yeosang is pulling you over. Praises stop just as he's about to say them. The whiff that comes with you is sweet and all-consuming. San smells it, too.

You take it with you when you run to the table. Your smile is beaming. But San and Yeosang don't smile back.

Shock hangs in the air. Yeosang and san only stare in shock when you pull out something. Rolling it over yourself.

Afterward, you run without looking back. Yeosang doesn't know exactly what to do. Neither does San.

When they meet up at the bottom of the tower, San pulls hongjoong aside whilst wooyoung pulls yeosang aside. "What happened? Where is -" He asks his best friend with worried eyes. Yeosang doesn't know whether or not to tell him.

"I.." yeosang looks anywhere else. Wooyoung doesn't wait for yeosang to answer, pulling him over to the boys who crowd San and Hongjoong.

"I don't know where she went." San throws his hand up. Hongjoong steps back with his hands on his hips. Somewhere around here they will be called back to set and you will be missing.

Wooyoung is utterly confused, "what's going on?" He asks, and everyone goes silent. He steps forward, repeating himself louder this time.

"She's an omega," San says quietly, glancing at hongjoong and then back at wooyoung. Whatever response wooyoung was expecting, it certainly wasn't that.

And now that you're all caught up. Wooyoung storms the entirety of the building searching for you. Any hint of your freshly dyed hair, scent, or perfume is another lead to getting to you. Letting an omega, one distressed and upset loose around a building where, yes good people are, but there is bad somewhere. Everywhere. And he especially told the guys about this.

"You let OUR pack member go? When she's extremely upset? Did anyone even- by herself! She's still healing and you let her go off by herself!?"

Yes, maybe he's being more mature than he's even seen. It shocks himself more than his members. And when he finally finds you, a different weight falls over his chest. Your sobs and tears are the last thing wooyoung wants to hear or see. Softly, he reaches out. You pull away, upset, you say words that have wooyoung pulling his lip between his teeth to prevent barking back anything he could say in the moment that'll hurt your feelings more. You're highly sensitive right now.

Wooyoung doesn't know if he's ever seen you cry like this before. Doesn't even remember an instance he's ever seen you so upset. The first time wooyoung saw you crying, you let a few fall, wiped them away, took a deep breath. Then you got up and continued with your day. Just a few tears compared to the river you are at the moment.

He wants to wipe them away and pull you into his chest. He can't, though. You're irratic, lost in your own head, and nothing he's currently saying will get to you.

He chances it. "Omega, please." he calls to you.

It's like a switch. You look up at him with puffy eyes. The shock on your face makes wooyoung feel terrible. It should have been something you came to tell him about. It's not something he overheard from someone else like gossip. It shouldn't have been.

As soon as the car comes to a slow stop at the apartment, you can't bring yourself to walk up the stairs or even get out.

You know, as soon as you get out and stay locked up in your room, once the guys return, someone will come to ask questions. That things will change from what you're used to. And you'll lose something valuable. It's just a sneaking suspicion. But to you, it's the ever growing truth.

"Chen? Could you please take me to the dance studio?" You ask, staring up at the building. Chen, bless his heart, takes a second to think about it. Worry creases his graying eyebrows.

The dance room is a breath of fresh air. The familiar space takes away your thoughts.

And now that you're in this familiar space, you do what you do best. You dance to distract yourself. Your phone hooks up to the speakers, blaring loudly. Music beats your eardrums, and your heart does, too when you move about freely.

Your newly dyed hair sticks to your face. Your clothes aren't very dance worthy but you've wore more uncomfortable ones on stage. Your low waisted jeans stick to your skin, along with the hoodie sweater you wore. You're sweating heavily.

You don't even have your purse to reapply your scent blockers. It doesn't matter if you did. You don't care who knows anymore. Your manager isn't here either. A giant no-no. You left filming, an even bigger no-no. And now no one knows where you are except for Chen, the ultimate no-no. You trust him not to say anything, though.

You might get removed from the group for this. You might get blacklisted. Kicked off the face of earth. And you wont know until they tell the media. You wont know until atiny find out. But what does it matter when nothing matters to you at the moment. You've never broken your contract rules. No dating? Not even when you were a trainee. Keep up with diet culture? Who needs food anyways. No partying? You got it, boss. No smoking? You don't like smoking anyway. Get used to wearing irritating makeup and the stuck-up people you deal with on a daily basis? Gladly.

Never, never allow yourself to get comfortable. The fear of never being enough will keep you on your toes, perform until you pass out, sing til your lungs hurt, and write lines until you can't feel your fingers. Work endlessly 24/7.

You fall to your knees, breathing heavily. Your head meets with the cold wood floor. You lean against it for support. Breathe. You're trying. Continously heaving for breath. You wrap your arms around yourself, your knees pull into your chest against the floor your head still is tucked on the wood.

The burden taken on every day is your own. The way you work yourself to the brink of death is your own doing. Your manager has told you this before, even in your day off. Everyone you know has said the same thing, everyone knows how hard you push.

"You've earned it," Kimmie celebrates. Handing you a cupcake. "You debuted!" She cheers, blowing on a whistle, you stare down at the pink frosting in shock. "I'm so proud of you"

Years later, are you proud of yourself, though? Years later, are you willing to let your dream die? Years later, are you willing to risk everything? To tell them how you really feel, why you are the way you are now? How you became this way?

The door to the dance practice room stutters open. The foggy glass gives away your position inside along with the bright lights. Your breathing is all caught up, but you still keep yourself as low to the floor as you can.

Don't look, pretend you're not here, please. Please.

A warm hand meets your back. You can't hear anyone over the music. It stops abruptly. The silence is suffocating, just like the jeans you're wearing. Just like the hoodie you have on. The cold of the floor caresses your sweaty forehead, that is, until someone's hand wedges between it and you.

Softly pulling your head off the floor, yeosangs lean pale arms come into view. Your face turns in his direction, a deep set pout and fear in your wide eyes. He's squatted next to you, his knees on the floor must be uncomfortable. His hand brushes the hair off your hairline back. Words are stuck in his throat.

"It's okay." he whispers just to you, sighing at the end. Your eyes fall into a squint at the floor, and your nose scruches. He takes a second, thinking over his next move. He decides to guide you into his chest. He doesn't overthink it. Maneuvering your arms to wrap around him.

Yeosangs arms wrap around you. he's comfortable and caring, his heart beats down next to your ear. He doesn't really know what to do with his hands, he's not very good with touch. But he's trying for you. He lands softly on the floor, sitting on his butt and pulling you closer into the gap between his lean legs. His hand rubs on your arm, the other hand on your hair strokes it behind your ear delicately. Lemonade tea and cocoa butter stripes the stress off your shoulders, yeosangs scent is addicting. Like a warm blanket.

"I'm sorry, I'm okay" you try to reassure. Who? You don't even know. Yeosangs head nods over your hair, he doesn't believe you thus why he keeps pushing out his scent to calm you. But he let's you say it anyways. The door opens once again, scraping against the wood sharply.

"Did you -" it's jongho, his words fall short. He turns around and walks back out the door. The distant shout in the hallway signals that this is real and jongho is calling the rest of the guys.

You don't know if you can do this.

You pull away from yeosang, taking one final deep breath. These emotions that choke you are unwelcome. You need to get your shit together. You need to act like an adult and take care of the issues you cause. Yeosang pulls his hands back and stands up from the floor.

You take a full second to follow. Just in time, the manager bursts through the door, right behind him is jongho. Jongsiks hands grip your shoulders. "You okay?" He words out, the older man concerned. You adore jongsik like a father. He's your favorite staff member.

You nod, straightening your lips into a thin line. Jongsik scans your face as if decoding your answer like it has a secret meaning. He nods after, pulling you along with him down the hallway.

Your phone is on its last life, 2%. How long were you in there for? 10 pm, the clock flickers. Finally, it shuts off. Completely gone is the comfort of your phone. You sigh. Behind you, yeosang and jongho trail back. It's silent even when you step out of the building.

The night air nips your nose when you wait for jongsik to pull around with the company car. Yeosang stands on your left, awkward, looking anywhere else but at you. Your arms subconsciously wrap around you. You're cold, but you won't admit it. You won't say you're cold, not when the tension is so thick and making you claustrophobic.

The whiff of fresh florals, mahogany, charred sandalwood- you know this smell, it's jongho. You turn to look at him on your right. He shoulders off his black jacket, sticking it out to you without another word. You don't want to take it, don't want to give him another reason to pity you in this moment. But the look in his eyes when he stares so deeply into yours says 'go ahead'. You look down as you take it, unfolding your arms and shuffling it on. It's all the smell of jongho, every last bit of him. Every hint and detail.

You subtly sniff it as you shuffle around. Leaning on the balls of your feet. Jongho doesn't have another jacket on, just a thin brown hoodie. His eyes look ahead at the empty street, and his large palm wraps around his forearm while his other arm swings loosely by his side. He looks as if he didn't just hand over his jacket to you. He looks normal in the chaos that swirls around you. His soft eyelashes flutter, his heart-shaped lips part.

He's so boyfriend coded, you think. The thought makes you turn away. Where did that come from?

No one takes the front seat, you wonder why, when you first got in the car you sat in the middle, you're so used to sitting in the middle so the guys have room to move around, squishing them together seems cruel. You don't even think about scooting over. Yeosang takes your left whilst jongho takes your right. It doesn't even bother you when you when the potholes make you bump into yeosang. Or even when jonghos big shoulders lean into your spot.

All of that lingers under the anxiety pouring out of your pores. You're mentally sweating profusely. What the hell are you going to say? How are you gonna explain you went into heat? It is so embarrassing explaining to the eight guys you love (more than friends, you've always known) that you were locked up in a room having to do the do with yourself for a week. Perhaps you should have your priorities straight instead of wondering about that.

Your face feels like it's heating up from the embarrassment you're gonna feel.

The apartment is a little less cold than the hallway. The door shuts behind yeosang. Signaling to everyone else you've just gotten back. Jongho types away on his phone, no doubt texting someone. He heads straight to where the kitchen is. Your eyes don't follow. Instead, you take off his jacket and hang it up in the closet. Yeosangs hand brushes yours when he does the same from next to you. You don't stop to stare, and neither does he.

The living room is normally spacious, but you feel claustrophobic in the setting you've comfortably gotten used to. You take your seat on the couch, and your head falls into your hands. Your palms rub at your eyes, pushing away the sleep clawing to consume you in its grip.

The night light of the city cascades against the dark apartment. You watch your vision blur the shapes together that dance on the wall across you. Your shadow smack dab in the middle, hunched over to hide into yourself. Yeosang moves about in the darkness, walking towards the kitchen himself. Just out of your view, you hear the chit-chat of the guys. They must all be in the kitchen trying to learn how to start a conversation with you.

You take the lead, pushing yourself to stand up. You take one deep sigh. And walk toward the kitchen yourself. The chitchat dies as you come into view, you learn against the entry, your hip meeting the cold countertop. The majority of the guys are still dressed. They must all have been out looking for you. Your head falls down, shamefully.

"Three weeks." You start, voice small. You clear your throat, shaking your head towards the floor. "I've been like this - an omega for three weeks" Your arms cross over your chest. The silence eats away at you.

"I-" "Why didn't you tell us?" Mingi says, hongjoong stares daggers at his face. Possibly hoping to quiet him. "I. I didn't.." You're tired of lying. You swipe your finger under your eye. "I was told not too," you speak clearer, looking up. All eyes are on you.

"They told me not to tell you guys. They said they were gonna sit us all down and explain it. Keep it under control until they have a statement to the press for my absence and my new sex.." You get more silent as you continue. Confidence deteriorating. "I didn't want to lie, but I.." You stop there, sighing heavily.

"How?" Hongjoong asks, eyes glance to him but the majority of them stay on you. You know exactly what he's asking. "I don't know, really. it started just a couple days before practice, I wasn't feeling well. Seonghwa, yeosang. You two noticed my scent was off and I still didn't think about it until I collapsed." You kick your foot, looking towards the two members you mentioned.

Seonghwa and yeosang look like sirens of the night. Their eyes peirce you. "I still don't know the exact cause of the change. The doctors said a few different things. I won't know 'til I get a call." You honestly say. The silence lingers in the air again.

"When is your-" a hand slaps over mingis mouth, it's jonghos, he holds mingis head to prevent him from moving out of his grasp, mingi struggles. It's funny, yet you dont laugh, only smile the tiniest bit. "When is your heat?" Wooyoung finishes for him, all eyes on him now. Well, more like all shock directed at him now. Mingi stops struggling, both he and jongho stare at wooyoung like he grew a second head.

"Less than two weeks" you bite your cheek, facing the bold question head on. "Actually, i had my first one while i was gone." your head falls back towards the floor. The wood planks are so very interesting. Wow. "I've been taking heat suppressants to bide the pain.. but I don't know. I won't know until I get there."

Silence again.

Seonghwa coughs, turning around. He breaks the silence as he moves bags on the counter. "Most of us had dinner but I saved some food for you" he hands you the solid plate, like its a code word. Each of the guys go to do something else, moving around and doing their own things. Plastic wrap covers the plate, you stare down at it in your hands.

The change of the conversation makes you trip on your thoughts. "You're not mad?" You blurt out, looking up at seonghwa who goes to pass you. He stops, surprised, he turns. "Mad?.." he mumbles, looking away as he thinks. "I'm not mad, why would I be?" He mumbles, eyebrows pulled taunt over his smooth forehead.

You blink back, once, then twice.

Seonghwa bites his plump bottom lip, looking to the living room where hongjoong is sitting with his laptop in his lap. They pass glances to each other. A plan under wraps that no one else knows about except for them. He turns back to you, sucking in a breath. Your eyes hold the universe, sparkling when you look up at him. He catches his hand before it reaches out. Scratching the back of his neck. "They're not mad either." He whispers down to you.

Mere centimeters away, the pure smell of you has seonghwa wrapped. If anyone is mad, he's certainly covering for them just because he doesn't want your pretty eyes to shed any tears. "You promise?" It's completely quiet. Seonghwa looks down at your lips pouting out gently.

"I promise." He glances between your eyes and lips. His hand scraps up against the doorway, leaning into it.

The tension is noticeable between the two of you, hanging high in the air. Your eyes never move, neither does seonghwa. In this moment he has you locked in his siren like stare. In the same instance your big worried eyes hold seonghwa hostage. Neither wants to break apart.

"Have you thought about.. who you have to call when your heat hits?" Seonghwa pulls his pliable lip between his teeth again, trying to drag an answer he didn't know he wanted.

Your lips part, your tongue pokes out to wet them. A shining sheen seonghwa wants to drown himself in. "No... I was just gonna endure.." You whisper, cheeks feeling hot. Seonghwa, scans your eyes. "You did it on your own?" He whispers back heavily, his mouth falls open only the tiniest bit.

"Mhm" you nod. He sucks in a breath, images flash through his mind. "Poor 'mega" he sighs just under his breath, his free hand reaching up to rub his thumb just under your lip, he holds your chin "you didn't have your pack to help you, yeah?" He glances down at your lips. It takes all restraint in seonghwa to not turn down and capture you in the passion he's feeling. Your thighs shifting is what catches his eye.

Your sweet smell is stronger in his proximity. Seonghwa wants to drink it in. He has to keep composure. He reminds himself.

He turns away quickly, leaving you in the kitchen. Plate still in hand. You let out the breath you had been holding, holding the plate tightly.

What was that?

Less than two weeks. Less than two weeks you have a decision to make. Whether or not they'll take up your offer, you don't know. But seonghwas display of affection yesterday captured you in the tide of troublesome emotions.

The sun beams through your window, shedding your dark room with lights. The breeze pushes open your curtains. They swirl in the brisk morning air.

You hold the paper in your hands. The mail you hold is very important, very, very important. You have to fill in the blanks and can't change it until your heat after this upcoming one.

The line that stunts you, is your emergency heat contact. The people or person that you should immediately be directed to, to situate you and take care of you when you won't be able to.

The line is blank, it can be left that way.. but you have many names in mind to fill it. You just hope they'll want to be on it.

Why did I write him like that omg(i know exactly why). Thank you for the continuous support, mwuah.

taglist: @lelaleleb @bratty-tingz @0325tiny @smilefordongil @atinytinaa @unripeapple7 @ja3hwa @stopeatread @sousydive @voicesinmyhead-rc @giiouis @c4tboyxiao @eastleighsblog (if you wish to be added to taglist please comment under the main masterlist ♡ thank you)

[charliesangel67]

Home with you:

Authors note: I wrote this so much faster than I thought I would. Anyway, just a cute lil drabble based off a Mamma Mia theme bc I just re watched it and forgot how good it was.

Parings- Jensen Ackles x Fem!reader

Word Count- 769

Warnings- Mentions of drinking, nothing else, pure fluff.

“So, when you're near me, darling, can't you hear me? S.O.S.

The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S.”

I sang as I moved around the kitchen, swaying my hips to the music and occasionally stirring the soup I had cooking on the stove. I heard a key turn in the lock and turned to see my boyfriend walk into the house, dropping his bags in the hall before coming to give me a hug. I giggled as he held me tight in his warm embrace.

“Oh, Jensen. I've missed you so much,” I said to him when he finally let go. “I missed you too, sweetheart,” he responded, leaving a soft kiss on my lips. “How was Louisiana?” I asked, interested in how the filming went. “Not bad. We did have to put filming off for a day because of storm warnings, and our scenes for the day were supposed to be outside.”

“Oh, that's too bad,” I responded. “I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower real quick, okay? I'll be back in 10,” Jensen said before leaving a kiss on my cheek and heading upstairs, carrying his bags with him. A couple of minutes later, I had set the table, plated up the soup with bread on the side, and Jensen was coming down the stairs in a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Gosh, he looked handsome.

“What's for dinner, sweetheart?” he asked as he got himself a beer from the fridge. “Tomato soup with bread. I don't think beer goes very well with it,” I stated, eyeing him.

“Fine then, I'll have the beer later.” He put up his hands in defeat and I giggled. We talked over dinner about filming, The Boys, and what I did over the 3 weeks that he was away.

“Well, I drove out to Austin to catch up with Maya.” “Oh, really? When was the last time you saw her? Hasn't it been since Gen's baby shower?” Jensen asked, surprised that I had brought her up.

“Yeah, since Odette. I just wanted to hang out with her a little. I stayed over for a couple of nights and we went hiking and shopping. It was fun,” I said, shrugging my shoulders, facing Jensen while he sat at the table sipping his beer. “I'll pack up the dishes. You go have a shower, love,” he announced.

I stepped out of the shower, the fluffy towel feeling soft on my skin. I dressed in my silky blue pjs and dried my hair. When I walked down the stairs to greet Jensen, I saw there was a box on the counter.

“Ooh, what's this?” I asked curiously.

“I ordered some donuts so that we could have a movie night,” Jensen stated from the far side of the kitchen, preparing a big bowl of popcorn.

“I'll grab the drinks and choose the movie!” I yelled as I raced to the fridge to get him a can of soda and myself some wine so I could pour a glass.

“Whatever you please, my love,” Jensen whispered under his breath.“What movie are we watching tonight?” asked Jensen as he entered our bedroom with the popcorn and donuts in hand. He had already changed into his pjs and was looking sexier than ever.

“I have chosen an absolute classic, a personal favorite of mine, and most teenage girls.”

“Oh gosh. Lemme guess: She's the Man or 10 Things I Hate About You?” Jensen questioned.

“No! Although either of those would've been a good option. I have chosen to go with a more musical one. We are watching Mamma Mia!” I announced excitedly.

“OK, I'll pre-warn myself about the crazy singing,” Jensen laughed as he leaned in to kiss my lips.

“I'm just kidding, love. Sing as loud and as crazy as you want. I love your singing,” he whispered in my ear, making me smile.

Together, we belted out every word to "Mamma Mia", danced to "Dancing Queen," and drank a lot of wine. By the end of the movie, I was too dizzy to even walk downstairs, so Jensen took the empty box and bowl to the kitchen, and I went to brush my teeth. I lay in bed, suddenly feeling the bed shift over from Jensen's weight. I turned over to kiss him. “I forgot to tell you earlier, welcome home, babe,” I said before giving him another passionate kiss.

“When you're gone, how can I even try to go on?

When you're gone, though I try, how can I carry on?”

[starluvsx]

★𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

proofread: yeaaa

word count:4k(lol plz send help)

WARNINGS: pt2 of jealous girl, toxic!Chris, smut but like for the plot yk, p in v, dick suckin, unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex kids😁👍), praise and degrading, crying, mentions of possible cheating, reader talks about being insecure, swearing, pet names, reader is def not standing on business.

A/N:here u gooo @urfavstromboli !this is too long holy shit.the smut part was so strange to write bc like I don't really like writing smut but I had to for like the story.also im sorry this took so long to makes started working on it right after pt1 and just forgot it was in my drafts LMAOOOO. also peep the special banner(I couldn't find any good lyrics).ok ill stop yappin and let you read.

𖦹 𖦹

✧SATURDAY

my heart beat sped up as I slammed the door in Chris' face.never being this upset with him in my life. I mean I never really thought he would choose another girl over me.Especially not one that has problems with me for no apparent reason. As I broke down into sobs I pulled out my phone and ironically called Nick, Chris' brother, knowing he would comfort me.

"Hey what's up?Did Chris apologize?" Nick asked through the phone.Once my crying was heard I think he got the hint of what had happened though.

"Can you uh..can you come over please really just... need someone right now."I stifled out as I paced around my living room.too many yet not enough thoughts running through my head.

"yea of course, do you want me to grab anything on the way?"Nick questioned sympathetically. I only responded with a small 'the usual' before we promptly said goodbye and I hung up.

✧NICKS POV

I heard the front door open as I shuffled down the stairs,Chris huffing and puffing as he stepped into my view. "How'd it go?"I asked even though I already knew how it went.I wanted to see if he would lie to me.

"horrible, its not even my fault though, shes acting like an insane bitch and is trying to make me choose between her and ash.fucking stupid.she needs to get over herself." Chris spat out.i was shock at his words about a girl who he used to love so much.the only time he talked about her behind her back was when he was saying how pretty she looked or how kind she way or how funny she could be.all of those feeling were now replaced by cold, rude, bullshit.

"don't talk about her like that, dickhead." I retorted.yes he's my brother and I'll love him no matter what but there is no way I would let him talk about her in such a way.especially when I knew that wasn't what he was like at all.

"what?! How am I the dickhead?" he yelled out as I turned my body to Matt's room in order to ask if he could drive me to y/n's.rolling my eyes and choosing to ignore the boy who had very clearly lost it.

"Can you drive me to y/n's?"I asked while poking my head into Matt's dark room. a small 'yea sure' being the answer as he got up from his desk.walking back into the kitchen area I was met with an angered Chris. God he was acting like such a child.

"don't ignore me,"he slightly shouted. "If I'm really a dick then there must be a reason!" my youngest brother said, looking at me soullessly.

"you literally were flirting with Ashley the other day, didn't  say anything when she insulted your girlfriend, when y/n confronted you about it you don't even care, and then when she asked you to make the very reasonable decision of either her or Ashley you get all pissed and start calling her an insane bitch, so yea I think that makes you a dick."I rambled on frustrated.

Chris didn't say anything before I walked toward the front door.or maybe he was going to but just didn't because of the situation.either way I don't think he really needed to say anything else.as I was getting my shoes on I could faintly hear Matt say "I know your my brother but if you hurt her anymore after today I'll kick your ass." which was followed up by my silence and footsteps towards Chris' room.

Matt huffed as he walked down the stairs and walked out the door to his car with me.Once we got in the car we both sighed deeply. "He's so stupid sometimes."Matt breathed out as he started the car and began to back out of the driveway.

"seriously, also we need to stop by the gas station."I replied.even though I was going to her house in order to comfort her and hopefully make her realize he's not treating her well and that she should just leave I know it would be to no avail.shes a hopeless romantic and there not much I can do about it.

✧YOUR POV

tears sprung out of my eyes like frogs with no hesitation. “Please please please let me get what I want” by deftones playing on my speaker. I looked into the mirror across from my bed as I laid on my side, locking eyes with my own reflection.I slowly picked my body up and now simply sat on my bed.still staring at myself intently.

I found myself simultaneously messing with different parts of my body and face.silently wishing they would morph to look like Ashley.she was perfect.the perfect weight,perfect skin,flawless makeup, model like hair.no wonder why Chris didn't mind her being on top of him.he probably wanted people to think that was his girlfriend.not me.why would anyone wanna be seen with me anyways.

The doorbell ringing for the second time this night broke me out of my thoughts.I slowly brought myself to my feet and dragged myself to the front door.as I opened It I was met with a sympathetic looking Nick holding a gray bag. "hey girl..."he slowly said.

I'm not sure if it was just my brain trying to distract me or what but I couldn't help but notice he had dyed his hair red again. "your hair...its not blonde anymore..."I quietly said.my words making Nick smile

"Yeah I know, just kinda felt like another change, i don't know.do you like it?"he questioned.

"I love it, looks really cool man.''I answered, tired eyes looking at him and realizing he was still outside. "oh shit sorry"I said while moving out of the way. as he stepped into my house I made eye contact with Matt who had most likely been waiting for Nick to go into my house.I waved to him with a small smile as he reciprocated through his car window.

I sighed heavily as I shut the door.remembering what happened earlier. "Okay so I got you red bull, skinny pop, oreos, mints and Lindt chocolate, oh and I got nerds for myself, you can have some though."Nick said once he walked over to my kitchen table, placing the items on said table as he listed them.I don't know how he remembers what I like to eat when I'm sad but this does happen a lot I guess.

I put my head in my hands and let out a deep breath.trying to unwind somehow.a ping was then heard from across the table.i knew it was Nick because my phone had been left upstairs. "Oh God, look who it is."Nick said as he turned his phone to face me. it was Ashley.she had sent him something on snap.

'half swipe it."I said as I made my way around the table, peering over his shoulder to see his screen.

"I don't know how."he responded, panicking.

"Just pull it from the left." I tried to explain.my help wasn't very useful though because he opened it instead. 'Are you mad at me?' read the message "is she fucking stupid.of course your mad at her?"

"She is stupid, that's why she looks like that.im just gonna say no to see what she says."the boy next to me said as he typed out 'no' followed up by 'why would I be mad at you?'.

she immediately opened the message and began typing "wow I'm surprised she opened that fast, probably cause she has no life."I snakily said as we both watched her bitmoji type.

''Oh bc of what happened with y/n the other day. 'she clarified. He was about to start typing again before she beat him to it. 'yk when she was a psycho bitch for no reason' was the next message. "psycho bitch?!oh I'll show her a psycho bitch!"I said as I shot up from my leaned over position on the counter. walking angrily towards my front door.

"y/n you are not going to fight her right now, especially not when you look like that.'' Nick reasoned as he set his phone down. "just forget about her.she's just an irrelevant cunt that has nothing better to do with her life but hate." the red-head said.

he was right.i don't know why I cared what she thought.but when I really think about it,I don't.i couldn't give less then a fuck about how she saw me.it was Chris' opinion I cared about.i wanted him to think I was beautiful, funny and kind.i wanted him to think i was perfect.i wanted him to be able to see me over Ashely.

"did Chris say anything about me?"I asked.switching topics to something more relevant in my head. The face he made when I said this made my stomach drop.Mainly because I knew how mean Chris could get at times and considering what had happened earlier tonight I don't think he said anything good.

"Do you want what he should've said or what he did say?"he asked as I made my way back to my previous placement.

"Tell me what he actually said."I answered.feeling like I was taking a leap of faith.but I knew if I wasn't told the truth then I would never have a chance of getting over this man.

"he was all like 'it went horrible, it’s not even my fault though, she’s being an inane bitch and is trying to make me choose between her and ash.she needs to get over herself.'"Nick said, mimicking Chris' voice to make it more light hearted.it was a little funny but the words made my eyes well up with tears nonetheless.

I was feeling so many different things.sadness, anger, stress but most of all betrayal.i mean he said it wasn't even his fault basically saying it was mine.my fault for being upset for a little bit.he would rather call me an insane bitch then just admit he was wrong and stop being friends with Ashley.that fat pig.

"what!?Ugh I hate him so much!!Why do I even like him?He treats me like shit,never listens and is always on top of other girls?!I don't even think I've heard him say he loves me in like 3 months!? do you think he's cheating?oh my God he probably is!"I rambled on.placing my head in my arms at the end of my words.i slowly began to sob into my own arms.once Nick heard my sobs he hugged my hunched over back.

"no don't say that.he's obviously not cheating on you."he reassured.his words didn't do much though because my cries only got louder and more emotional.my best friend ushered me up so he could hug me normally.i pulled away from the hug  once I was able to actually breath.looking up at Nick with tired, sad,eyes.thankful for him being here but also embarrassed for crying over his brother. "wanna watch a movie?" the boy sympathetically asked.i nodded a small yes before I grabbed all my snacks and headed over to the couch.

watching the movie was a good distraction for some time.but nonetheless I found myself thinking of him. how much I missed him and just wishing he was here right now.im not going to apologize though.I did nothing wrong no matter what he thinks.so if that means that we never speak again then I'm fine with that.oh who am I kidding, I'm definitely not fine with that.

✧THE NEXT DAY, SUNDAY

'come over please' and 'I miss you' were the two messages I had been staring at for at least five minutes.the sender being chris made this all the more strange and confusing.i mean he was just calling me an insane bitch yesterday and now he wants me to come over.but for some reason I caved.maybe he wanted to apologize or something.

I threw a zip up over my lace tank top and tied my gray sweatpants.sliding my crocs on as I stepped outside started walking to my car.

Once I began driving I found myself more fidgety in anticipation than what felt like ever before.fingers tapping against the steering wheel rhythmically and constant glancing at the ETA were I knew this.

As I entered the house using my key I felt anxiety rush over me.Matts keys weren't here and neither was Nick's jacket which he never leaves the house without during this time of the year.meaning that it was only the two of us in this house.

My footsteps felt heavy as I walked down to his room.something I had done many times now feeling unfamiliar.I knocked on his bedroom door lightly once I approached it. though as the door was opened I wasn't even aloud a greeting before he placed his hands on my hips and smashed his lips onto mine hungrily.i wish I could say I rejected the kiss but I couldn't.it was like he had put a spell on me.

he walked backwards as we eventually crashed onto his bed.i straddled over his lap as I deepened kiss.he swiftly flipped me over onto my back and moved me so I was sat up a little.i took the hint and unzipped my hoodie, throwing it off to the side while trying my best not to break the kiss.

he then removed my tank top.now revealing my bare chest to him "no bra huh?so you are still my slut." he said as a smirk formed on his lips.

"I was actually about to go to bed but whatever you wanna believe."I retorted.

"do you want me to fuck you or not?"he questioned, looking into my eyes.i stayed silent though.letting the wetness between my legs make my decisions. "that's what I thought."he darkly said. pale arms taking his own shirt off.toned body now all in view for me.

"you know what to do.''was my signal to take my pants off.i undid the tie on my sweats and slid them off.leaving my white laced panties on. "sit up and go on the side of the bed"he demanded.i did as he said.sitting on my knees a on the side of the bed I was closer to.he then came around to the side I was facing.once he was directly in front of me he dropped his baggy jeans and boxers at once, cock springing free.all 8 inches now stood in front of me.his pink tip leaking pre-cum.

I looked up at him innocently.as if I had never done this before.i then, on instinct, began to pump him with my hand slowly.my actions making his breath hitch.i placed my lips on the tip and began to lower my head.pace increasing every time I brought my head up.eventually his hands made their way to my hair and began to push my head into his cock roughly. "fuck just like that.keep going.use that perfect little mouth for something good for once."he harshly spat out looking down at me as he said that.i ignored his words though and continued to suck him off.

This feeling being lost on me for almost a week made my throat sting pleasurably.his grip on my hair tightened which told he was close.the signal making me go faster.if even possible.small whimpers fell from his cherry lips as I continued to work. “Oh God yes,please I’m…I’m almost there”he mumbled out, the words working as encouragement for me to keep going.then without warning I felt his cum shoot itself into my mouth.the salty savory flavor touched my taste buds as I swallowed.

Once he came down from his own high he looked down at me.i kept my eyes on his.looking up like a lost puppy. "fuck your so hot" he said as he grabbed my middle area and situated me on my back and so I was on his bed longways.once he laid down with me he whispered "sit on my lap baby"

I complied and did as he said.placing myself more on his legs then his actual lap because I knew he wouldn't be that easy. "you want me to fuck you?"he asked.i nodded 'yes' in response. looking down at him with pleading eyes even though I was on top right now. "use your words.you had so much to say before, what happened to that?"he teased.

"please chris just fuck me, ive been waiting for days!"I squealed out.thankful there was nobody else home right now. 

"good girl.."he hissed out.his words being my command to lift my hips up and hover over his cock.then without warning he thrusted up into me after lining himself up with my entrance.the sudden feeling making me yelp.he continued to buck his hips up into mine as I bounced simultaneously, placing my fingertips on his chest for some sort of stabilization.

moans that were higher pitched than my actual voice spilled out of my mouth along with swears and small pleads.my body was hot as I went up and down on him.his hands were at my waist, guiding my every move harshly. The pale boy grabbed my waist hard, making me wince at the pleasure mixed with pain.the idea that the boy who I was crying over last night was ramming himself into me right now made me feel guilty.but I can't help it.his touch is intoxicating.

my jaw fell open as pornographic noises flowed from my lips.eyes screwing shut and head being now hung low.i was so caught up in myself that I didn't even register the small whimpers coming from the boy underneath me. The noises being my key to realize he really did miss me.at least a part of me. "keep going baby, don't stop, i'm gonna-"I rambled on before being cut off by my own already familiar noises

"Me too..shit.."he whispered.

"chris fuck fuck fuuuuck"I strung out as I came undone on top of him.laying my body on his as he thrusted up into me again,chasing his own high. Whiny whimpers made their way into my ear as I felt him twitch inside of me.knowing he was close I decided to tease him a little by kissing his neck and leaving a trail of hickeys.my sensitive body not mattering at all to either of us.

"fuck baby" he groaned out as I felt his load shoot into me, coating my insides.we sat there in silence.sweaty bodies catching their breath.once we calmed ourselves he pulled me off him and situated me so I was laying on my side, facing the boy who replicated my current position."lemme get you a towel."he said before promptly getting up, putting his boxers on, and doing as he said.

When he came back and cleaned me up I couldn't help but stare at him.all his features slithering into my eyes. "Can I have a shirt?"I asked softy.not wanting to put my tank top back on because of the temperature.he only hummed an ‘mhm’ before tossing me a random black shirt with a white design on it.

"Can we talk? ''he awkwardly said as we both were now sat up and at least partially clothed. I nodded my head to signify I was listening."listen y/n im...im really sorry about earlier.i was a dick and I shouldn't have acted like that.i know you don't like Ashley and i'm totally fine with dropping her.i would rather lose her then you any day and i'm so sorry if I made you feel otherwise.a-and if your ever upset again don't be afraid to say something cause I promise I won't act like a dick again."he nervously rambled on.

I wish I had it in me to stay mad at him but I couldn't.i know this apology was just so I wouldn't leave him lonely and he would pull something stupid in a few weeks.but I can't help it.i'm in love with him and there's nothing I can do about it.

✧MONDAY MORNING

my eyes screwed shut almost immediately after they fluttered open, the bright sunlight causing this.i turned my head around to the best of my abilities to see if chris was awake and it didn't seem like it. I turned my head back and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "you're finally awake."Chris said from behind me,startling me a little.

I hummed a small 'mhm' before trying to get up but to my dismay he pulled me back down to my previous spot. "I have to pee."I giggled.

"pee later"he mumbled, pulling me closer if possible.

"yea no thank you"I said before breaking out of his limp arms grasp and standing up to go to the bathroom.taking a mental note of my sore legs from last night.

"I see you limping!"he teased once I got into the bathroom.

"oh fuck off"I lightly shouted back.once I washed my hands I began walking towards his door, the idea of food in mind.

"Where are you going?"he asked from his now sat up place.holding himself up on his elbows.

"I'm hungry"I said while throwing on my sweatpants that had been tossed here last night.

When I got up the stairs Nick turned his head to me.shock and disappointment coated his face. "Okay I thought we agreed you hated him?"he questioned.Keeping his voice low knowing Chris was still in the house.

"ugh I know but he texted me last night and told me to come over and then one thing led to another and...look he apologized."I tried to reason.nick though, was not having any of this.i made my way over to the fridge and grabbed my strawberry smoothie from Thursday that had been left here by accident.Taking a sip from it while I turned around to face my best friend again.

"yea and he apologized last time, and the time before that, and the time before that.you have to let him go y/n.he's not good for you."Nick explained to me.I know he was right but I couldn't just get over him.I wasn't the type of person to just get over stuff like that.

"Well last night seemed genuine, okay?I seriously think he meant it.''I said before footsteps were heard coming from chris' bedroom which ended me and Nick's conversation.

Chris hugged me from behind and kissed the top of my head.nick shot me a "you need help" look and I couldn't do much besides give him a "yea I know" look back.the brothers began conversing but it was more like background music to me.

I know nick is right, he’s not good for me.but I can't help it.everytime I look into his eyes I feel like i'm sinking deeper in this pit of love I dug so long a ago for him.i hated that I loved him and how I knew he was gonna do me wrong.but with his arms wrapped around me like they were right now I can't help but leave that as a problem for future me.

[tarasmithshifts]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐑 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓 part 1

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. 3 years 𝐀𝐆𝐄. 17-20 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏: sirius, remus, james, lily, peter, dorcas, marlene, mainly people from gryffindor and ravenclaw

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒. taken

「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」

im crying rn. I AM SO HAPPY TO BE BACK IN THIS DR SOME CRAZY STUFF HAPPENED SOOOOO LETS GET INTO IT. THREE YEARS. gosh this is so crazy

— ୨୧₊˚ click here to read part 1 of my last update

— ୨୧₊˚ click here to read part 2 of my last update

i will write this storytime in 3 parts probably, i am noooooooot ready. NOT AT ALL.

be ready for 2 next parts because in this one nothing really happened, there was nothing crazy or something. let's say it's an interlude to the next 2 parts 🌷🌷🌷

「 ✦ 7th year ✦ 」

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 7𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻

summer - sirius got his own place to live

summer- i bought a house in yorkshire

september - june -> final school year

july - odd proposition

okay so as we know we are in year 1977!! my last year at hogwarts with marauders :'( literally one of my best shifting experiences was hogwarts with my boys and girlssss

okay let's go because this is gonna be crazyyyyyyyyyy

ＳＵＭ ＭＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ last shift update ended in may and here i just wanted to say that i of course graduated!!! i just don't like wasting space for that info bc it's so obvious lmaoo

okay soooo i bought my house, as well as sirius!!! we got money from Alphard, who passed away and we split the money in half. i afforded a cottage in yorkshire, where i moved on in july, i was contacting with remus through letters, also because war intesified. then one day in the beginning of august he appeared at my front door and i kneeeeeeeeew something was wrong. and i was like "what is going on???" he asked if he can come inside, i said he doesn't have to ask and that he can ofc come inside, we sat in my living room and HOLY SHIT

lyall lupin is dead y'all.

my jaw was on the floor. and he didn't show any emotion while he was saying me that. and i was there. DEVASTETED. apparently death eaters killed him when he helped some aurors with their job outside of london, and he said that he just got the news from ministry.

and we sat there.

in my living room.

in silence.

gosh you should've seen him. i was not prepared to this at ALL. AT ALL.

so uhhh we decided that he will stay at my place for few days (he stayed with me all summer hahaha) the next day we went over to sirius to tell him, as he knew lyall as well. during next week remus planned, but it was right before full moon so i said to him that i will take care of it. i didn't want him to stuggle even more. full moon happened on 16 of july, remus was in worse state that i expected but we got through it :') the funeral happened few days later, it was a small ceremony, without anybody around us. in documents it was stated that lyall had a heart attack so there wasn't any problems with people thinking about how he actually died. he was buried next to hope lupin :(

we spent whole summer at my house, sometimes visiting his to clean up or move some stuff, and sometimes we visited boys and i went over to lily 💗 i don't have much to talk about here so i'm not going to describe anything lmao

and one of the things that we do at my house is listening to remus mum records from the opera 🥲🥲🥲🥲 it’s so cute and i can confirm, his mum was AMAZING

also i forgot to say that during summer sirius and james encountered two Muggle police officers on FLYING MOTORBIKE. are you kidding me LMAO 😭😭😭

S C H O O L Y E A R

in this school year most of the time we spent learning for our finals :')

i needed to pass 5 N.E.W.T.s so i had a lot of work to do, as i wanted to become auror in the ministry.

also many people we knew from ministry was dying because of war, all of them were mentioned in daily propet, we read it DAILY. we didn't care for it earlier, but from that moment we read it religiously.

i think that we were also scared that there will appear a name of someone that we knew personally.

hogwarts was not the same that year.

also james and lily were made head boy and girl of gryffindor! james was super proud of himself and at the beginning he was telling EVERYONE around how cool he is. and lily is super happy with him which i'm so THANKFULLLLLL they are so cute you need to believe me lmao 💗💗

me and remus were helping each other A LOT during this school year, because of n.e.w.t.s i saw that he was super stressed about them :/

alsooo we had inter-house quidditch cup!!! we had some changes in positions, me and sirius took beaters positions (which is pretty funny because years later fred and george weasley had this position too, and they are also twins lmao) arthur browne took the keeper postition, james, geoffrey fawley and marlene were chasers, and phoebe dawson was a seeker.

also regulus became captain of slytherin team, and gryffindor lost match with them, so we were super angry but it is what it is lmao 😭

also boys did not spend that much time with each other, all of them became more serious about their future (okay, maybe except sirius lol) so they were not doing that much pranks etc. i spent more time with lily, she helped me a lot with potions too, also we sat together on potions because slughorn LOVED HER. literally she was his pearl in the eye,he invited her to his partys etc, gave her books she could learn from even more, which helped me not her LMAO 😭😭😭😭😭😭

ALSO from funny things that happened, one night after mine and sirius' birthday, we were sitting down in boys dormitory, me, ofc marauders, marlene, lily and dorcas, there was silent moment and sudenly dorcas went "is it only me or dumbledore is gay" AND WE WERE LIKE "WHAT" and we had full debate if he is gay or not LMAO and yup the verdict was that he is gayest of all gays ever LMAOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭

about n.e.w.t.s - I PASSED 6 SUCCESSFULLY IM SO HAPPY AHHHHHHHHHHH

DADA - i totally slayed this one HA

POTIONS - it went better than i thought, so i'm safe with this one

CHARMS - it went even better after dada exams because i was sure it will be easier than dada one, and i was right

TRANSFIGURATION - thanks to mcgonagall, without her i would be screwed with one lmao

HISTORY OF MAGIC - okay this one went worse than i expected but i still got E

CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES - this one was HELL. literal HELL TO ME because i did not like this subject and learning it for n.e.w.t.s was a torture, but i passed it with E

me and remus decided to move into my house together :')) so did lily and james, they bought a cute house at godric's hollow 💗💗💗

J U L Y

me and remus lived in yorkshire, we used teleportation to see sirius, peter, james and lily from time to time. in the middle of july sirius appeared at our door. we were at home, so we let him in. and he started yapping about some kind of order, he was talking so fast we literally had no idea what he was saying. when we sat him down, he started from the beginnig, and he told us about the order of pheonix. that dumbledore is looking for people that are talented and brave enough to fight against voldemort. and that he wants to prepare us before dumbledore will appear at our door. he said that he already joined the order, as well as peter. he started telling us who already is there, and that he wants to give us more time to think because albus wants immidiate decision.

so after sirius left me and remus were talking for HOURS about what should we say to dumbledore after he will appear. and we both agreeded that joining order will be the best decision for us. we could finally help in war, and not only help other wizards but also save muggles.

in the evening somebody appeared at our door. we heard the teleportation sound outside. out there it was very dark, like every light on the street disapeared. remus told me to stay inside and opened the door by himself with his wand raised, but he only saw dumbledore, and immediately lowered wand. dumbledore looked at him and just said "if it wasn't me, you would be dead already remus."

i stood in the kitchen but observed the whole thing, and finally stood outside so albus would see me too. "you should ask me a question" said dumbledore, still not coming inside. i just stood there and waited for remus to say something, and remus finally spoke "who told severus snape about the secret" obviously he was telling about the prank, dumbledore only smiled and said "oh of course mr. black" and came inside. he looked around and i showed him the way to living room. me and remus sat on the couch, while dumbledore sat on huge armchair that we bought recently. "you need to be more creative next time" he said "they can get such and information" and after that he started to TALK and when i say talk, he talked for like about 30 minutes NON STOP. about the order, about his trust in us, about the need of our magic, about the importance of defeating voldemort. and after he stopped talking, he just looked at us, and we both immediately said "yes".

and from that moment, nothing ever will be the same.

「 ✦ end notes ✦ 」

gosh i finally published this

HELLO IM SO BACKKKKK and i can't wait to tell you more, because this was super short and it was just the beginning of spiral chaos that will happen, so BE READY.

anyways, IM SO HAPPYYYYY and i can't wait to tell you moreeeeeeeeeeee 🌷💫💗

[whatachillkillyeri]

Someone like her

Kim dahyun x reader; angst,fluff

Synopsis- you can’t help it but be a fool for someone like her.

Song: someone like me by twice

A/n- happy dahyun day everyone. Hopefully I’m not late( kinda forgot to write one for her bday).

-

Having a crush on your best friend is the worst feeling ever:

1.) because its your best friend

2.) bc it would maybe end badly

3.)there is no third answer

I mean just one look from them and you already a blushing mess. They can just smile and it already brighten up your whole day.

That's how you feel about dahyun. Every time you see her, your heart skips a beat. You can't help but stare at her, even when she's not looking. Her smile, her laugh, her voice - everything about her is just so captivating.

You've known her since you were kids, and you've always been attached to the hip. You've shared countless memories together, from playing in the park to watching movies at her place. But as you gotten older, you realized that your feelings for her are no longer just those of a friend. They've grown into something more, something you can't quite explain.

You find yourself daydreaming about her during class, imagining what it would be like to kiss her, to hold her hand. Sometimes, when you walk past her in the hallway, you can feel the heat radiating off of her body, and it takes all your willpower not to reach out and touch her.

After school, you often stay behind to help her with her homework. You don't mind, really; you just enjoy spending time with her.

-

"I can't figure this out," you said, sighing for the million time today. You had been stuck on this last problem for about thirty minutes. Dahyun walked over to you, her eyes are fixed on the page, her brow furrowed in concentration. She's so cute when she's focused, you thought .

"Let me take a look," she offers, sliding into the chair beside you. Her body is inches away from yours, and you can feel the warmth radiating off of her. She leans over, peering at the problem you're stuck on, and her hair falls forward, brushing against your cheek. catching a whiff of the new shampoo she used.

As she works through the problem, her fingers trail across the page, pointing out where she thinks you might have gone wrong. You couldn’t help but watch her movements, fascinated by the way her hands move with such confidence and grace. You feel a pang of envy when she effortlessly solves the problem, wishing you could be more like her.

"There you go," she says, grinning at you. "See? It wasn't so bad."

smiling back at her, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Dahyun. You're the best."

She blushes slightly at your compliment and looks down at her desk, playing with a strand of her hair. You can't help but notice how soft her skin looks, how perfect her features are. You wish you could tell her how you really feel, but you're too scared.

-

Dahyun was really known in college. With her being the class president and all. Not to mention an excellent pianist, she was always surrounded by her peers .

You, on the other hand, were more of a loner. You preferred to keep to yourself and study, not really socializing much. But when you were around Dahyun, it felt different. She made you feel comfortable, like you belonged. Even when she was busy with her own friends, she always made time for you.

You would always be there for her when she needs someone to pick her up from late piano lessons. Sometimes, you would even go inside. and watch her practice without her knowing.

Seeing her fingers danced gracefully across the keys, her brow furrowed in concentration. She was lost in the music, and it was like watching a beautiful dance. You couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and admiration every time you watch her play.

It is something you would never be tired of watching. The way she plays the piano, the way she engages with the music, it was as if she was transported to another world. Sometimes, you would find yourself holding your breath, afraid that if you made even the slightest sound, you might break the spell and she'd stop playing.

-

“Seriously y/n, grow some damn balls and confess to her” yeri said as she watches you pace back and forth.

You had force yeri to listen to you rant about dahyun. About how she made you feel, how you wanted to be with her but were too scared. And how much you hated yourself for it.

“It’s not that easy, Yeri. You know that." You sigh, running a hand through your hair.

She rolls her eyes. "Oh come on, y/n. You've been mooning over her since you had met me. Which let me remind you, for two fucking years .”

"It's not like that, Yeri." You sigh, running a hand through your hair. "It's just... she's so beautiful, and talented, and-"

“ you're in love with her," Yeri finishes for you with a knowing smile. You can't help but feel a bit annoyed at how easily she's figured it out, but at the same time, it's kind of comforting to have someone who understands how you feel.

You stop pacing and turn to face her, leaning against the wall. " even if I do confess to her. How would I do it”

Yeri smirks. "Well, you can make her a basket of all her favorite things. You know, chocolates, flowers, that book she's been dying to read. Then go to her dorm and confess.”

“Yeri, that the smartest thing you ever said all year.” You say with a small laugh.

Yeri rolled her eyes. “If you are going to confess, you better hurry to the store now. It’s going to close in less than an hour .”

“Shit.” You said as you ran out of the room, not before quickly waving yeri goodbye.

-

You was going to do it. You had finally mustered up the courage to tell Dahyun how you felt. (With the help of yeri ofc). You was practicing it all night in your mirror. Making sure it was perfect.

You double check if everything was in the small basket. Before making your way out of your dorm.

As you walk out your dorm to go to dahyun dorm. You stop in the middle of hallway . What you saw made your heart torn into a million pieces. you saw a guy with chocolate and flowers standing at dahyun door.

Fucking cha eunwoo.

Of course you knew who he was. Who wouldn’t ? He was very known for his charming demeanor and acting skills. He is also dahyun crush since first year of college . She had be gushing about him to you every time she had a chance . “He’s so cute.” “Y/n, you should saw what he did today.” Blah blah .

You were not impressed. You could care less about eunwoo. You didn't understand why Dahyun was so into him. He was nice and all, but there was something about him that just didn't click with you.

And now here he was, confessing to dahyun.

“Dahyun, I like you. A lot. I was hoping you could be my girlfriend” he said, holding out the flowers and chocolate. Dahyun's face turned beet red and she looked down at the floor. She bit her bottom lip and you could see her shoulders shake slightly.

You couldn’t stand there. Not when the love of your life was going to be taken from you. You felt like you were being punched in the gut, like all the air had been sucked out of here . Before you could even hear dahyun's response, you left that hallway.

You stormed into your dorm room, slamming the door behind you. Your heart felt like it was going to beat right out of your chest. You drop the basket, not caring if everything had spilled out.

You collapsed onto your bed, burying your face in your pillow to muffle your sobs.

Fuck eunwoo. with his stupid haircut and his stupid smile. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. You kept repeating that mantra to yourself like a prayer, hoping it would help ease the ache in your chest. But it didn't. Nothing could.

-

Three days since you last saw and spoke to dahyun. You pretty much had been ignoring her.

Her calls . Her texts. Even at school, you would simply say you got to study and quickly leave.

You were still heartbroken. You didn't know how to move on. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was her beautiful face and the way she smiled. It was like a knife in your chest, making you want to feel that pain over and over again.

You didn’t want to see her today.

So you had decided to skip class today. You needed some time alone. To clear your head. To figure out what to do. You had been laying on your bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.

Dahyun, on the other hand, doesn’t know why you had been ignoring her. Did she did something that made you mad? She didn't remember doing anything wrong.

She had tried calling you and texting you, but you didn't reply. Even when she saw you in the hallway at school, you just looked away and quickly walked past her. It was like you didn't even know her.

It hurts her. It hurts to see you acting like that towards her. She doesn't understand what she did wrong. Did you not like her anymore? Her heart aches at the thought of losing you.

She tries to call you again but it when straight to voicemail. Fuck it. She’s going to talk to you whether you like it or not .

-

You heard knocking at your door. You didn't bother to get up, figuring it was just yeri again . But when they didn't go away, you sighed and rolled over, rubbing your eyes.

“ fucking hell yeri I already told you th-“ you began, before you opened the door. but suddenly paused , when you came face to face with dahyun.

You was going to shut the door in her face, but she quickly pushed it open before you could. You were taken aback for a moment. As Dahyun stepped inside, angrily.

“Why the actual fuck are you ignoring me?!" dahyun demanded, her voice shaking with anger and hurt.

You didn’t know what to say cause for one, this the first time you had ever heard dahyun curse and two, you felt ashamed.

“So, now you ain’t going to fucking answer me . What am I ? A ghost.”

You swallowed hard, looking at the ground. You didn't want to answer her. You were afraid of what she would do if you told her the truth. But she didn't seem like she was going anywhere anytime soon.

"I-I'm sorry," you finally managed to say, your voice barely a whisper.

Dahyun's eyes widened. "You're sorry? Sorry for what? For ignoring me? For acting like you don't care about me?" Hitting you lightly on the chest as you slightly stumble back.

“I like you dahyun “ you said, you voice barely louder than a whisper.

“What” dahyun asked, not believing her ears.

“I like you dahyun. I like you since freshman year of college. I was going to confess to you three days ago but eunwoo beat me to it. I was fucking hurt. And yes I know I shouldn’t have ignored you. I just couldn't help myself. Especially when I fucking lov-“you got cut off by dahyun kissing you. It was a soft kiss at first, her lips gentle and tentative against yours.

But as you began to respond, she deepened the kiss, her tongue sliding past your lips to tangled with yours. You wrapped your arms around her, pulling her closer, feeling her body press against yours.

Dahyun pulled back slightly, looking at you with a mixture of emotions. "I like you too”

“ But what about eunwoo. He ask you to be his girlfriend. ”

“Y/n, honey he’s gay. I found that out a year after I liked him. And plus he was just using me as a test dummy to ask out Lucas.”

You blinked, feeling a little stupid now. All that jealousy was for nothing. You felt your cheeks flush a deep shade of red. Dahyun smiled at you gently.

“Oh” you mumble, feeling even more embarrassed as you tried to hide yourself with a pillow.

“You are so cute”she said seeing you so embarrassed. “My cute y/n” she adds as she bring you into another kiss.

[ot9snumber1]

call me at midnight

hirai momo x blackpink!reader

summary: you think four best friends are enough to get you by in life. that is, until jennie introduces you to nayeon, and until nayeon introduces you to momo.

warnings: fluff, introverted reader, rushed bc i wanted to put it out for momo's bday <3 happy bday my best girl!

—

being friends with jennie means being friends with a lot of people. namely, the three other girls in your group—whom you met thanks to jennie forcing you to be social during your trainee days.

it all paid off, of course. debuting in a group with your four closest friends was a dream come true! you were convinced you needed nothing else in life.

until jennie introduces you to her other idol friends.

if being friends with jennie meant being friends with a lot of people, then being friends with nayeon meant being friends with half the world.

she was so friendly and energetic, you couldn't possibly stay still around her! (she even tells you that you remind her of one of her members.)

okay. your four best friends and one new friend, surely that was more than enough, right?

"and this is jeongyeon, sana, jihyo, mina, dahyun, chaeyoung, and tzuyu!" nayeon says energetically as she pointed to various members in the practice room.

you nod, trying to remember all their names. (you eye everyone carefully. jeongyeon, sara, ji...jiwoo?, miyeon, dahyun, chae...won, nevermind. you'd figure them all out eventually.)

"i thought twice was nine?" you ask nayeon, who seems to have a revelation when you mention that. nayeon snaps her fingers, "ah! momo hasn't come back from the bathroom!" she groans, "i bet she stopped by the vending machines for snacks again."

just then, a dark-haired girl with blunt bangs walked into the practice room, soda and a tiny bag of chips in hand. you swear you see nayeon's eye twitch, but you were a bit too distracted by the sudden wave of nervousness you felt from being in the mystery girl's presence.

the mystery girl who you realize is momo.

the momo who you spent about an hour talking her ear off after she offered some chips. (you tend to ramble when you get nervous, you tend to get nervous when you're around pretty girls. momo is a pretty girl.)

(...and nayeon's pissed you forgot to record the dance challenge she invited you over for. at least you can go back and see momo again?)

you develop a crush on momo a lot faster than you realize. you're always talking about her, making excuses to mention something she said or likes, comparing her to anything your members do.

it was very suspicious for you to talk about someone you only met once this much. naturally, your members find out about your crush before you do.

"you like momo, huh?" lisa suddenly pipes up while you're trying to stretch. "didn't know you were into dancers. you know, me and momo kind of have the same hair—"

"hold on, what the hell are you talking about me liking momo?" you resist the urge to smack lisa for flirting with you, but you've known her for years now. it was something you just grew to tolerate somehow.

"you talk about her all the time! especially about how cool her haircut is, or her voice, or some random habit you saw from the one minute you spent with her.

"..it was one hour."

"that doesn't make any difference." lisa crosses her arms and stands up straight in front of you. "i can't believe you don't realize how smitten you are with her."

"don't word it like that." you cross your arms too, like a kid retaliating against their playground bully. the two of you have a staring contest that you eventually lose because the stupid grin that appears on her face when you start blushing distracts you.

"you should ask for her number! mina says she's really sweet." lisa teases, you just shove her face away and get to practice.

of course the other three weren't immune to teasing you either.

rosé didn't bother you as much as lisa did, but her little comments about how you were buying more peaches recently or taking more dance classes never failed to make you blush.

and somehow, even with lisa teasing you, her witty attacks were nothing compared to what jennie and jisoo had in store.

"y/n-ah, i bought those drinks you wanted." jisoo says as she returned to the dorms, handing you the plastic bag while you barely leaned up from the couch to gracefully accept it. "thank youuuuu!" you sigh happily, hugging the three bottles before sitting up to drink one.

"i also dropped by twice's dorms to give something back to nayeon. momo says hi." you nearly spit out your drink and ruin the blanket you just bought.

weeks had gone by and you'd already endured the teasing from three members. jennie was awfully silent whenever momo would be brought up, which worried you even more. not knowing if she just didn't care or if she had the most sinister plan than all of them combined made your stomach flip uncomfortably.

it turned out to be the latter.

"y/n?" jennie yawns, walking into your room one night when you couldn't sleep. "forgot to give this to you." she mumbles, handing a piece of paper with glittery pink writing on it before saying goodnight and leaving.

after jennie shuts the door, you inspect the paper and nearly scream.

call me, y/n! i don't mind listening to you talk~ ♡ 모모

(maybe it wasn't an evil plan, but it sure was evil to casually give you a heart attack at 12 AM.)

you take momo's note a little too literally and call her number. you sink deep into your blanket out of nervousness and excitement. (and the realization that you were calling her this late!)

"hello?"

it was the first time you heard her voice since the day you met the rest of twice. surprisingly, she didn't sound tired at all.

"hi, momo!" you huff out, sounding completely out of breath. "jennie gave me your number just now."

you can hear an "oh!" and what you assume to be momo getting in bed. "well, what are you waiting for? tell me about your day!"

you smile, your nerves being eased by momo's comfortable aura. you could feel it through the phone, somehow.

"well, jisoo told me you said hi."

"i did!" you both chuckle quietly. "she was asking for nayeon, but nay wasn't home yet so i talked to her for a bit and she mentioned how you were doing."

you audibly gulp at the idea of that. knowing jisoo, you're almost 100% sure she was telling momo good things. still, it didn't hurt to confirm that.

"all good things, i hope."

"oh, yeah, don't worry. she kept going on and on about how you love dogs and how clingy you are when you're comfortable with someone.."

you bite your lip, was there such thing as too good? jisoo was trying to set you up with momo! shamelessly! and momo didn't notice!

"that's good." you take deep breaths as you hear silence from the other end of the call. "she bought me some drinks that i've been asking for, too. well, more like begging, but i did it really nicely!" you could hear momo struggle not to laugh, it makes you laugh too.

"anyway, she bought me this peach juice i've been wanting to try. then mango juice, and my favorite apple cider."

momo gasps, "you like apple cider?"

"of course!"

"me too!" you can practically hear the smile in her voice. "i'll bring you some next time i see you then."

"i'll be waiting!"

momo has tear stains on her cheeks from laughing so hard and her cheeks hurt from smiling so much by the time she goes to sleep that night.

momo loves talking to you.

[lxfinty]

┊𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

xavier thorpe ; wednesday

pairing: xavier thorpe x hispanic!normie!fem!reader

warnings: pure (probably excessive and embarrassing) fluff, like one curse word

request: Can you please write a oneshot for xavier where the reader is a normie and he keeps seeing her everywhere whenever they go out to the town :) he develops a crush and so does reader on the mysterious boy from nevermore until one day he comes to like work at a shop or soemthing??? and when he does reader is also there and they spend time together flirting and pining until one confesses to the other ! ALSO IDK WHY BUT I FORGOT TO ADD THAT READER IS FEMALE AND HISPANIC (i just sent an xavier request ! ) :))))

summary: a few of the instances in which you met xavier before actually meeting xavier

a/n: since the reader is hispanic, there are slight character descriptions to get that across, such as a mention of curly hair and a bit of spanish dialogue (though not a lot bcs I don’t speak spanish and don’t wanna butcher it…). also, this takes place in scenes/places seen throughout the show, but xavier never liked wednesday because it makes more sense in context.

character credit: wednesday series

w/c: 1.5k

part 2: the awaited interactions

Even though you were still a few yards away from actually entering, the area around the fair has 10 different aromas wafting through the air. Flashing lights could be seen in every direction; vibrant colors swatched along every ride and carnival game.

As you enter the fairgrounds, you look around at the people: adults, kids, normies…outcasts. You knew it was likely for them to come, as it is every year, but it’s still a shock to see the so-called “weirdos” of Jericho doing such normal activities.

Regardless, it’s nice to see everyone together for such events. You don’t completely understand the separation between the town. Sure, the outcasts were different, but they were still beings in their own right. They were freaky by nature, but even then you find their freakiness pretty alluring.

You walk around for a bit, grabbing some food as you pass by certain stands, and sit down at an empty picnic bench. As you eat, you watch the people around you as they talk and laugh and play games. You find this particular pair of people interesting.

They’re outcasts.

It’s pretty obvious by the girl’s all black attire and creepy nature, though you wouldn’t be able to tell the boy was one if it weren't for his association with the former. 

You can’t help but analyze their features. The girl is actually really pretty, if you put her gloomy aura aside. Her hair is completely black and straight, a contrast to your own curls, though it’s in pigtails, and you swear you haven’t seen her blink this entire time. She seems like she doesn’t wanna be here, almost like she’s in a rush.

After you’re done looking her over, your eyes drift over to the guy she’s standing with.

He is gorgeous.

His hair is pretty long for a guy, reaching to about his shoulders. He’s currently hunched over, his hands resting on a carnival game table, but you can tell at full height he's freaking tall. He’s wearing a dark gray trench coat, which is extremely simple, yet somehow he looks like a male model and-

‘¡Ay, Dios! I need to stop fangirling over this random boy right now’ you think and avert your eyes, focusing back on your grease filled meal.

After a few minutes, you can’t help but notice the pigtailed girl hurrying away from the stand through your peripheral view, leaving the long-haired boy all alone. You stare at him again, zoning out to the point where you don’t even notice him staring directly back at you.

You snap out of your trance, quickly looking down at the table for a few seconds before slowly creeping your eyes back over, where he is still assessing you.

He gives you a small head tilt and wave, to which you shyly smile back before cleaning up your mess and heading in the opposite direction.

‘I cannot believe I just got caught ogling at a guy like that…por favor mátame.’

–

After the last encounter with the mysterious long-haired outcast, you honestly didn’t expect to see him. He seemed like the type to pop up once and never show his face again.

You wish you were right.

Today, you’re heading into town to study a bit at a local park. You find the scenery relaxing and way less stuffy than working at home.

As you’re settling down on a picnic table, taking all your necessities out of your bag so you can get started, you notice the blue and black stripes of the Nevermore Academy uniform walking into the general store down the street. 

You think nothing of it, focusing back on your materials and figuring a student going into a store is definitely not your business and absolutely none of your concern. 

About 25 minutes into studying, you notice the stripes once more, but this time it seems as though they are walking towards you. As you focus harder on the person’s form, you recognize the tall body and lengthy hair you’ve seen once before.

You look down at the plastic grocery bag he is holding, and though you can’t see its contents from this far, you’re sure it’s not actually groceries and is more along the lines of something music or art related. 

He just gives off that vibe.

You realize that he has stopped venturing towards you. Actually, he’s stopped walking altogether.

Your glance shifts up to his face to find that he has, once again, caught you staring at him like an absolute creep.

You let out a tiny shriek before ducking behind your computer screen. 

‘The universe must hate me or something because oh my god,’ you think, internally panicking once more. You take a small peek past the lit up screen just enough to see him laugh to himself and shake his head before heading towards…the woods?

“I must have killed Mother Teresa in my past life,” you mumble to yourself softly before resuming your studies, “that’s the only possible reason my luck is at negative freaking eighty right now.”

–

Pilgrim World was…grim to say the least. It was mainly a plot to attract tourists and make money for the town. Young kids did always find entertainment in the, probably inaccurate, history of the town, so you guess it’s not all bad.

For the normal townspeople that is. 

The students from Nevermore were forced to work the grounds each year. Yeah…not exactly “town building,” but it was mandatory for them.

You sat at the Weathervane café with your computer and a warm drink. Learning about the same white people every year wasn’t your type of fun – no disrespect to them – so you opt to just watch others from the window seat, maybe get a bit of work done in the process. You watch kids chase each other; families share pieces of fudge; individuals enjoying their beverages while trolling down the center lane. You were so focused on watching others, you completely forgot about your previous, most important task: to watch the entrance.

Not that you just wanted to stare at townsfolk all day, but you were anticipating a certain outcast’s arrival. You wanted to make sure that you could watch the long-haired boy walk in so that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself by randomly staring like you did previously. But with your low attention span and professional ability to zone out at the worst times, you completely missed the fact that just who you were looking for had not only arrived at Pilgrim World already, but had walked into the café minutes ago.

“Do you want me to wipe down your table?”

That was the question that caused you to jolt in surprise, turning your head to meet the mysterious Nevermore boy.

“I wouldn’t want you to get your computer wet. You know, just in case you need to hide behind it again,” he finishes with a small smirk.

"Cielos, me asustaste,” you exclaim, more as an instant response than an actual reply, and giggle a bit while looking at your lap.

You look up at him after doing so, only to find him softly smiling at you. You open and close your mouth a few times before internally taking a deep breath and looking him in the eyes.

“Hopefully I won’t need to hide from anyone any time soon. But yeah, sure.”

You set your computer on the seat beside you as the boy gives the table a few wipes. Funny thing is, the table was completely clean before he wiped it. Even more so since you dusted it off a bit before sitting.

“No more hiding, huh? I like the sound of that,” he remarks. He finishes wiping the invisible mess off of your table and stands straight again. “Do you need a refill?”

You didn’t even notice that your cup was a few sips away from empty.

“Oh uh sure. It’s just hot chocolate,” you smile and he slightly nods before making his way over to the counter.

You start glancing back out the window, though this time there are Nevermore students roaming around in addition to the previous bunch. Some people are outside handing out fudge while in pilgrim costumes. You had to do that one year…it’s as boring as it looks. You notice the gloomy girl you had seen at the carnival enter the Crackstone house down the road. You could have sworn that it was closed off…

A bump on your table causes you to look away from the historical building and down at the cup that has been dropped off. You pick up the cup and take a sip as the long-haired boy walks away to clean off other tables. You glance at the cup holding the warm chocolate, which is when you see the black marker along the side.

‘Xavier…xxx-xxx-xxxx’

‘Oh,’ you thought as you realized what this was. His name…and number. Your whole face felt warm as your eyes searched for the boy, finding him behind the counter already looking at you.

You smile and tip your cup in his direction before taking another sip and going back to staring out the window.

Honestly, I used this as an excuse to gush over Xavier bcs oml there is no reason I should find this man as attractive as I do. Also, possible pt.2 with them getting closer ???

Another question: somebody asked me if I had a taglist for Xavier, so I was just wondering if y’all would want that? 

I no longer support Percy Hynes White and will no longer take request for Xavier Thorpe.

[ihatethisstuf]

This is a scheduled post (From, November 2nd, 2024, It's supposed to be posted November 24th, but Idrk how to schedule, so we just pray it works). Trigger warning for (in a positive connotation) self harm (its bit graphic) and mention of suicide. If you were mentioned, but those are a trigger for you, skip to the part you were mentioned (it'll be mentioned in grey), do not force yourself to go through it.

I know this is a rp blog. But, everyone who interacted, roleplayed with, damn simply reblogging it, had an huge impact on this achievement.

On November, 24th of 2023, I cutted myself. It took me to the ER. Thankfully, I did not get stitches, but it did leave a scar, a scar I thought would haunt me forever.

Spoiler: It didn't.

I remember the doctor asking me if I had suicidal thoughts or ever attempted it, and I knew that depending on my answer, it could take me to a psychiatric unit; I didn't want that. I didn't want the fear of explaining it to family or friends. So I lied, I lied, putting in mind that from then on, I'd commit to that never ever happening again. And here I am. 1 year free. And tell you something, these 2 months were hell, but every notification, every interaction, it was a daily motivation: "I need to finish that arc," "I could make more posts like it", so I can only say thank you and sorry if I sounded desperate sometimes, it felt like here was my only escape

Part of my young 5-year-old me, who dreamed of being themselves, without fear, was healed by this blog; I can thankfully be the EVIL VILLAIN MUAHAHAHA, and know that it's not that bad, know that liking villains does not make me a bad person, it does not mean I'm some sort of psychopath as some other kids would tell me.

Honestly, I completely understand if these blogs mods don't read it, bc it might be triggering, but I'll mention, just in case.

@one-sixer-please (I love interacting with your blog, is always fun, and it truly motivated me in my shittiest days)

@askdrunkbillcipher (Bruhh, your account is like the funniest I've ever interacted with, I don't even know what to say, just, thank you.)

@theaxolotl-god (You were one of the first accs I've ever interacted with, and truly helped me to keep going)

@river-nonbinary-billcipherfan (I've learned so much from your acc, and omg, thank you. Thank you for existing and being who you are)

@17ghostsinatrenchcoat (You seem such a genuinely nice person irl, I am really proud of you :])

@trickstertriangle (I wanna hug you/p, I love interacting with your blog and I truly hope the best for you.)

@bills-library (You were my inspiration to start this blog)

@sillycato (I love you so much/p you deserve thd world, omg infinite hugs and presents for you, you are an angel, this Lucas btw, just if you don't know lol)

@pandagobrr (I would always smile at your notifications, thank you ^^)

@ever-growing-system (I was research anon, and y'all truly helped me to figure out more of myself and my triggers, thank you :,])

If you're mentioned here, thank you so much for making this app a place that I could run to in my darkest days.

And if you're not mentioned here, there's two possible answers

1st- I forgot you and I'm sosososo sorry😭

2nd- Idrk you or dont interact much, but anyways, thank you for existing, breathing, getting out of bed, I'm so fucking proud of you. (Even who was mentioned, this is for you too)

I was always so scared that people wouldn't like me and that if I said one little thing wrong I was a terrible person, and I learned so much in this one year, that I finally can say, I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of going the lengths I went. There is lots to work on myself, I know there is, but one step at a time and maybe, one day, I might get there. But for now, I'll attempt into just not triggering myself.

-Lucas/Hyper

[magicalgirlsirin]

hi rly enjoyed ur post on elysian realm! ik ur a new fan (i am too) but i heard that before retcon, elysia was a lot more morally gray. would you happen to know how exactly?? im rly curious bc i think it would be a severe improvement obviously. we deserve complex women who do wrongs

So when I say retcon in relation to the elyrealm arc it's less so "things they changed because of the story evolving and wanting to expand previously established events" and more "things they straight up forgot about in service of making Elysia a herrscher". It's not like hi3 is a stranger to retcons though?

For example, Durandal being the "original" Kiana is a retcon. The fact that our Kiana was a clone remained the same, but it's clear from older story stuff (iirc it's Everlasting Memory/Theresa's chronicle set?; second eruption manga doesn't focus on the Kiana part) that Durandal wasn't originally there. Otto refers to Kiana as K-423, and that Theresa needs to retrieve her, which implies that Theresa knows it's not Siegfried and Cecilia's kid, but her distress remains the same. The later game retcon by Thus Spoke Apocalypse is that OG!Kiana and Siegfried were going to go retrieve K-423, but OG!Kiana ended up injured and so Siegfried only left with K-423. And if you're confused then so am I because the details don't really super line up with the presentation, but it's like, fine, because at the end of the day the current writing intention and trajectory is for Durandal and Kiana to be sisters, and to both be Siegfried's daughters.

Anyways, for Elysia, a lot of her retcons occur in a very rapid pace from the first realm chapter set to Elysium Everlasting. Like I mentioned in my last post, the herrscher reveal is nonsense just going off of basic information like the fact she received MANTIS surgery like all the other Flame Chasers. However, there are other plot threads that are completely dropped for the sake of making Elysia a very special good girl who you should love because she's so nice and never did anything bad.

[About Betrayal 1 - Chapter 2]

[About Betrayal 2 - Chapter 2]

Elysia the traitor plot is something I was, well not hopeful for (a friend had already warned me that the game wouldn't do anything interesting with it] but I still ended up mulling it over a lot because it was such an interesting hinge piece for her initial presentation.

What stands out to me is the phrasing. Kevin says she never endangered humanity even if she was a traitor. Kevin says that Elysia made a decision. This implies agency, like Elysia was actively choosing to do something dangerous for the sake of the Flame Chasers. However, if Elysia was a herrscher from the beginning, then none of this makes sense. She doesn't choose to be a herrscher if she was one from the beginning, so why even make it seem like her betrayal was her choice at all?

[Traitor - Chapter 1]

It doesn't stop there though. Mobius' active disdain implies that whatever choice Elysia made, it was enough to make Mobius of all people consider her a lost cause. Mobius, who body mods and injects honkai energy into anyone with a pulse (hyperbole) to try and make humanity last just the slightest bit longer.

[Traitor - Chapter 1]

Mobius wants us to doubt Elysia's intentions. If you go through all their shared information, you'll find that the worst Elysia really does is just... coerce Mobi to wear pink dresses, and while that is obnoxious, it wouldn't warrant utter contempt for Elysia as a person.

There's actually a lot of stray text that implies there's something wrong about Elysia's existence, which I guess in generous terms could be interpreted as setup for the herrscher reveal? But it just feels like it's just there to add to the mystery that won't go anywhere.

[The Blind Spot - Recollection]

This right here nags at me. Deeply so. Elysia isn't so much a character as much as she is just a concept, the idea of a story that could be told. Not even in the canon-compliant weird endgame hook meta-textual breakout in Transcending Finality about the power of stories... Although, there's a way to introduce it here and tie it to Elysia to give some semblance of connectivity.

I went this long without actually giving my thoughts on how to make Elysia's writing good though. Disclaimer for clarity sake I know not everyone will agree with the changes I want to make and I'm also not claiming to be a more skilled writer than anyone in the hi3 team, they're all people with enough talent to be employed by the company.

That out of the way.

This isn't so much about making Elysia morally grey as much as it is about giving her an emotional core, because right now she's pretty hollow. Rather than a pristine girl who never did anything wrong, I'd rather cast her as a romantic, tragic heroine who would move heaven and fate just to seem noble.

Elysia was born human. Maybe she loved stories, and how they transported her to far off places, far far far away from the tiny town she was growing up in. When she was old enough, she traveled the world. Honkai descends. Because she was a globe trotter she ended up connected to many people, and was given the chance to join the MOTH organization. She gets MANTIS surgery. As the number of soon-to-be Flame Chasers grow, discussion begins about if the strength of the soldiers is enough.

'Maybe, if I had power comparable to a herrscher, we could fight with less casualties.'

She doesn't say this out loud, of course. It's a dangerous thought, a line that shouldn't be crossed. But she's curious. She breaks into Mobius' lab [Miss Pink Spy - Pristine Memory] to find the information she wants. Mobius figures out her intentions and warns Elysia off. It's not even in consideration, so keep whatever plan you have in mind off the table before you do something irreversible.

Mobius thought that Elysia gave up on the plan after the seventh erruption. The haunted look behind Kevin's eyes, the sadness creasing Elysia's face, all of it makes it seem like a simple consideration forgotten by the sands of time.

Elysia doesn't have a discipline. She told Dr. Mei it wasn't needed since her combat performance was well above standard margins anyways. (She is on par with Kevin in strength, after all.) At least, we all thought she didn't. A deal is made with Aponia.

Aponia, Aponia, apostle of fate, I offer you my 'humanity' to become a 'story'.

Elysia cannot receive any more disciplines. The target has to be "human". Elysia as a story, unchanging, pristine, capable of remaining as she is without blemish, can reach out and become a herrscher while remaining herself. She's desperate. She wants to help. She reaches into the deep, the start of the universe, and gathers the power. She names it Origin, since it's something she found at the source.

She's a herrscher.

Herrschers are an enemy of humanity.

Kevin runs her through with Shamash.

Elysia is still herself though, talking like she would as usual.

-Oh Kevin, I wanted to know if your tears would freeze, but I was hoping it wouldn't be like this. They're so warm, though. Thank you for crying for me.

-I see no herrscher here, just... the flame chaser, bearing the signet of ego.

The Elysian Realm keeps a secret. Aponia keeps it, the fact that Elysia gave up her humanity. The final banquet? A polite way to refer to Elysia's own demise.

It's sad, isn't it? That strength she wanted to give fell right through her fingers. Her own undoing, the desperate plan of a foolish girl who wanted to be a hero, but only ending up as a villain to oppose. It's so much more meaningful, then, that Elysia's gift, the power of sapience, is kept on to the next cycle of humanity. Held again, the power of ego, of humans, to someone with a kind heart to move beyond the past she's trapped in. Thank you, Raiden Mei, for carrying on the ideals of the thirteen trailblazers, the moths who chase the flame.

so anyways yeah i think elysia couldve been interesting whos to say

[prettyinpwn]

Re: people taking the Dipper and Ford parallels involving the apprenticeship and the Scholarship, because- like- it's absolutely also a case of the 'fantasy vs reality' theme of the series, like- Ford's apprenticeship was never going to last longer than a week, if Dipper didn't have a breakdown and beg to be taken home (which is not exactly off the table granted Ford isn't in a super emotionally stable place either) then it wouldn't exactly be long until their parents are roadtripping all the way up to Gravity falls to kick Uncle Stanford's ass for trying to keep their child without their knowledge or consent. It's acknowledged in the show that the apprenticeship wasn't REALLY something Dipper realistically thought was an option but was indeed another fantasy, but it's an understated moment in the escape from reality ep and most people forget it was there.(i mean what does staying in oregon with a hermit scientist in the woods studying anomalies do to help him get into film school for his own ghost hunting series?)

and if you take that to parallel ford's 'fantasy setup' one could probably extrapolate that he'd have been kind of miserable at West Coast Tech anyway, of course, we don't have any way to prove that bc Dipper was able to quickly identify that Mabel was emotionally manipulated and tricked into the situation, but Ford was too blinded by his own hurt feelings (and Stanley's terrible attempts at explaining himself) to realize it WAS an accident and lbr the WCT people probably wouldn't have given him a free ride scholarship anyway they were a tech school in Silicon Valley in the 70s and Ford was some poor kid from a poor town in Jersey they absolutely would NOT have given him a free ride scholarship

In a funny way though, this means that Stan is the anomaly among the 'fantasy vs reality' themes of the pines family, bc while Dipper and Ford and Mabel were all, while in the midst of it, utterly convinced of their own fantasies, only able to realize how UNrealistic they were in hindsight, Stan as the family conman was always well aware of the lies he told and that were told to him. And that's how you get so good at selling fantasies that you can out-lie the triangle SO BADLY that he's still raging about it in his therapy journal ten years later

(Oof sorry it took me so long to reply, I've gotten a lot of messages lately and I take these weird ass breaks from Tumblr from days to months at a time for some reason.)

Some great thoughts to ponder in this, Anon, so thank you for sending them in! Yeah, that's another theme I forgot to mention, like you said: fantasy vs. reality. And the beauty of that theme in Gravity Falls, is that even the setting is a symbol of it: where the fantasy of the supernatural and the reality of a little rural town with every day people collide.

I think you're right: Stan is the most balanced of all in this manner. He never really gets drawn into an unreality or fantasy. He knows what's what and what's bullshit, because like you said, he sells bullshit for a living. In fact, I'd argue he's too much into reality. Poor guy needs some escapism and hugs. </3

But yeah, it's very possible that Ford and Dipper would have been utterly miserable if they'd followed the "fantasy" path in life. My favorite way of explaining my thoughts on the whole apprenticeship thing can be summed up in this shot from D&MvsF, and it might be my favorite shot in all of Season 2, honestly:

I can't prove it was intentional - Hirsch and crew would have to do that - but it's almost funny how Ford is portraying himself as this hero. He says, "Dipper, can you honestly tell me you never felt like you were meant for something more?" and strikes this pose. But like... that doesn't look like a hero. That looks like a broken old man with shadows and cracks placed seemingly very intentionally over his reflection.

Even the lighting feels symbolic: there's light on Dipper, whereas the only light on Ford is behind him. Like Dipper's story still has hope and his best days are ahead, whereas Ford squandered the good in his life for decades and is alone in the darkness of his work. It's... kinda depressing, actually. Looking at this shot always makes me feel awful for Ford.

In symbolic language, this shot says to me, "This is the same kind of person, but the older one's a darker reflection of the younger one. A forewarning of what could happen.". Because, look, I'll defend Ford to the end, but like all the other Pines, he's flawed. This man harmed his best friend/lover/however you interpret what Fiddleford was to him, his brother, himself, and almost ended the universe. Like... Ford apocalyptically fucks up, literally. So for him to still think he's on a noble path and tries to portray his way of life to Dipper as this heroic thing in this scene, I feel like he's trying to convince himself as much as Dipper that he's a hero. But his reflection here doesn't lie.

So honestly, I see the apprenticeship as Ford trying to project his image onto Dipper. To become the hero he failed to become, and by training Dipper, he'll think, "Oh, my legacy isn't tarnished, because look at what I produced!". And that's why I think this shot is amazing, because it feels like Dipper starting to see the cracks in his great uncle he's idolized all summer up until this point. He's not the amazing author he fantasized about as this great hero, he's... a broken man with flaws, exploring the husk of a long dead spacecraft with alien death all around him.

I think you're right on the West Coast Tech front, too. This delves into my super big masterpost on Ford's writing, but in that post, I came to the conclusion that Ford's yearning for West Coast Tech was more about impressing his father and providing for family over his own passions.

He didn't even really want to go to West Coast Tech until his principal was like, "Hey, this place exists, and could make you a millionaire.". Filbrick was impressed, and THAT'S when Ford was like, "Hm... now I'm excited!". I think if he went there, he wouldn't have made any friends since that's been a constant in his life except for Fiddleford. Speaking of, he wouldn't have even met Fiddleford if he'd gone there, anyway. So in all likelihood... Ford would have been very alone with very stuffy, elite folks and would have felt more alienated than usual.

Like, can you picture Ford actually fitting in with people at that college? It would have likely been mostly people in the, "Mommy and Daddy bought me a place here!" circle who rode coattails to get in. Like, they'd talk about yachts and crap and Ford would be like, "Yeah, I found a rotten old boat on the beach with my brother once.". And likely it would have ended with raised brows and, "Ew, it's a poor, it has cooties and six fingers!".

That, or he would have been surrounded by other egotistical nerds. And no offense to really intelligent people, but in my experience, some extremely smart people can be condescending. Ford might have found a similar atmosphere at WCT where he might have been looked down on by people that were even smarter than him - or richer - and with even less social tact.

Trust me... I've been around a bunch of Fords on steroids in real life, and it ain't fun being surrounded by arrogant geniuses, speaking as a nerd myself. There are two types of nerds: the ones who accept their outcast-ness and are comfortable with it, and those who are insecure who take it out on others by pulling the "outcast" stick out of their asses and beating up other nerds with it. I'd bet an arm and leg that WCT would have been full of those kinds, making Ford miserable (or he'd have adapted to become just as snooty and/or arrogant as them).

At Backupsmore, he had Fiddleford from a similar poor background he could relate to (and humility - can we all pause to clap for Fiddleford for being a humble genius?) and just enough money for a grant and freedom, but not enough for his father to come running with a hand out, and likely less condescending people. He actually probably was better off going to Backupsmore, honestly.

Anyways, sorry this was a super long reply, but these are all my thoughts on the topics you brought up. Long story short, I agree on the fantasy vs reality theme you mentioned applying to Dipper and Ford. WCT could have been awful for Ford both in the peer and father greediness department, and the apprenticeship likely would have been awful for Dipper in the dark path department. Both Dipper and Ford are way better off being with their twins, imo, or at least that's the show's thesis on the matter.

[turtlesundaes]

MARCH FOR RAPH DAY EIGHT AND NINE!!!!

I wrote it this time :>

As soon as the mad dogz entered the main area of the lair Raph grabbed Leo by the shell and took him the the living room.

“Hey! What gives?!” Leo complained

“You know what gives so don’t give Raph that tone.” Raph grumbled as he dropped Leo on their dads chair, luckily or- very unluckily, today was one of those days where he stays in bed all day.

“You know we said to stop throwing yourself at danger.” The snapper huffed as he too sat in front of Leo on the floor.

“But that’s what we do! Isn’t that what heroes are supposed to do?!” Leo nearly screamed. Raph was hitting a nerve, though, he never knew what in specific until it was too late.

“No, heroes are supposed to asses the situation beforehand! Not just run in without a plan, with the super big chance of getting really hurt!” Raph was a hypocrite, Raph knew that. But he knew he was stronger than his brothers, plus, he was never any good at plans anyway. That’s why Leo’s the leader now.

“How would you know??? You’ve never made a good plan in your life! And to mention, I’m the leader now!!! Your supposed to listen to me! It’s like we’re kids all over again! It’s like you still don’t trust me!!!” Leo was standing now, waving his arms all over the place.

Raph didn’t have to stand, being Leo’s height when he sat. Though he was getting riled up he stood up as well.

“How am I supposed to trust you after what you did!? Huh? How am I supposed to trust that you won’t put your life in danger after what you did during the invasion!?” What are you doing Raph-

“We’ll your one to talk! Nobody said anything when you used to do it, even before the invasion!!” Leo retorted without hesitation. It stung but somehow he managed to ignore it long enough.

Raph flinched, he forgot all about that. All those missions where he would throw himself over his brothers, run into falling buildings to cover them.

“That’s because I’m the shield, Leo. I can take it. You on the other hand were bedridden for months!!” Raph’s tone changed slightly. He knew what he was saying was so wrong.

“You think your the only shield here? I’m just as responsible as you! Don’t talk to me until you get that.” And with that Leo walked out, not letting Raph get even one more word in.

Raph just stood there in silence. It felt like hours but we’re just a few minutes. He walked out, headed to his room.

He threw himself into his pillow pile. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ He thought, his tail curling up around him as he cried himself to sleep.

NOW I GET TO TALK ABT MY POV ON THIS !!!

Raph and Leo obviously know what their doing during this but both feel equally guilty, we just see Raph’s POV during it all. Im surprised they didn’t get physical tho as I assume they have before.

My apologies for not doing much with day nine’s prompt tho 😔 I’m just now realizing I wrote a Leo Raph argument.

This is also the first time I post actual writing and not poems b4, I am very new to it so I accept any criticism bc I wanna get gooder !!! I did however didn’t know how to end the one shot so criticism on that specifically is deeply appreciated bc idk if I pulled it off-

[strawberryseeded]

i wish we had gotten more of kugisaki nobara. i just watched dis vid and all my contained RAGE abt dis topic suddenly HIT ME LIKE A TRAIN GOD IM UPSET

ive talked like 32893882 times already (and its still NOT ENOUGH) abt how upset i was abt nobara's death cos she was such a good character, with so much potential!! i really REALLY liked her. she was funny, strong, confident and kind!!!! i loved her char design!! her cursed technique and weapon were cool as hell!!!!!!

and her (recently SOMEWHAT(?) confirmed(?)) death sucked so fucking much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she was just. fucking fridged. as much as it pains me to admit it. from a narrative standpoint, she died so yuuji would get upset and further develop his character & then move the plot along. even mahito admits that he wants her to die to make yuuji suffer. like yeah he also recognizes her a strong opponent (ofc. cos she is) but at the end of the day he wanted to kill her just to wreck yuuji. and he succeded.

nobara has no say on the way she dies. she's just.. slapped, kinda. its so sudden. its so... weird. not that she's accepting of it (we already know that she knows she can die at any moment and she's ready for it (cos she's a freak like the rest of the sorcerers lol)), but its weird bc its like its not a personal moment for her. yeah we get a flashback & her speech about how, even tho she always was a person who refused to let other people affect the way she is and decides to live, there still are people who, by being accepting of her, managed to gain a place in her heart... and she's happy for that. its rly beautiful.

but its the impact her death has on yuuji what the story really cares about here.

and like. thats fine! im not even saying killing nobara is a bad choice or that its bad if her death also developed yuuji's character. but the way it was done, its like her death only had that purpose. its a way too transparent device, that's what i dislike abt it. i dont mind being upset bc a character i love dies? i like feeling strong emotions when i engage emotionally with art/stories.

but i think she was killed off too soon. we didn't get to properly say goodbye to her. both her character arc and her death were rushed.

she could have been developed so much more! it feels like she was taken away way too soon in the story. i wanted her to fight sukuna along the others. i wanted her to use her cool technique to help yuuji nail sukuna's soul. i wanted to see just how much stronger she could get. i wanted her to finally meet saori. I WANTED HER TO HAVE A COOL EYE PATCH!!!!!!!!!!!

why is she barely mentioned after she dies??? she was one of the 3 main, dude, are u kidding me? yuuji's the only one who mentions her but he's almost afraid of talking about her. its like the whole world forgot about her!!!!! and what about maki?????? werent they girlfriends?

what is nobara's LEGACY? why did gege not make her death matter in the narrative? even if she (for whatever reason) came back(??) at the end, id still be rly mad & sad abt it cos i wanted to see her DO STUFF!! i wanted to see her kick some ass!!!! i wanted to see her grow!!!!! to open up with others!!!!! I WANTED TO SEE MORE OF HER. IM SO UPSET I WANT OUT

[nukenai]

So I love chatting with vendors at cons, especially TFCon. They're always Cool Dudes in their 40s/50s who have been collecting Transformers since the dawn of time and they like meeting fellow weirdos, especially younger people. Especially absolute freaks like me who run up dressed like Rodimus while wearing booty shorts.

I was at this one booth and I was looking for a specific figure so I asked if he thought he had it - he said maybe, so I started to look. I shuffled through my purse and vaguely held up my Drift figure, and said "it's for him", like haha joke. (Looking for Jetstorm)

He instantly made a confused face and said, "I don't recognize that Drift". And I said oh, he's the regular American deluxe release, I just repainted him. He asked very politely if he could see him. GOD HERE WE GO

I've had lots of people go "Wow that's really cool! Great job!" about my repaints and custom stuff and I appreciate the comments so much. I don't have much confidence in anything I do, but I am very passionate about when I do custom stuff to toys or Gunpla.

THIS MAN. He was legitimately stunned. He told me my Drift repaint was amazing, and the detail work was incredible. I very shyly thanked him and said I customized my little Fixit, too, and he went NUTS WHEN HE HELD HIM. Then he literally CALLED HIS FRIEND OVER and said "Hey man, come here! You have to see this Fixit she painted!"

The three dudes at the table were legitimately gawking at my, I thought "pretty good, but took a lot of time because I'm obsessed so there's A Lot" repaints. Fixit in particular he was VERY impressed by, because I had filled in the indent in his chest. To be fair that was a nightmare but like omg? And he REALLY loved that I added the blue details to the wheels, and was impressed by my straight lines. I mentioned I totally disassembled Drift, painted the pieces individually, and put him back together, and the guy looked like I'd just shot him LMFAO. HE'S A VERY SIMPLE FIGURE IT'S NOT SUPER DIFFICULT...

So then he asked me the most insane question I've ever been asked in my life:

"Do you have a business card? Do you do this professionally, like as a paid job?"

UHHHHH EXCUSE ME SIR I JUST ADDED DETAILS TO MY ORANGE HUSBANDS AND MADE ONE OF THEM THE CORRECT(TM) ORANGE... HELLO...??????????

So I told him no. He asked if I had a website where I posted them, or social media. I mentioned how I started using my Instagram for that stuff but got lazy and forgot and I just share reels all day. The guy insisted I take HIS business card, in case I was ever looking for parts, or things to customize... He really wanted a place to go see more of my work, and I was very sorry to tell him that I am not actually someone who really knows what I'm doing... but I didn't totally deflect the compliments. I was so unbelievably thankful and told him that no one had EVER reacted this way to my work before. (even saying "my work" is bizarre like it's just a thing I do... it's not My Thing...)

He joked about wanting me to paint some of his minis, LOL, and I said a lot of my friends do that but that's kinda beyond my scope. I started when I was disappointed with a lack of details in some of my figures, like my TMNT 2012 Metalhead, but then I was like. I can add some black on his shell. I can fix him up... and it kinda spiraled. My second significant custom was turning my Stegosaurus Chase figure show-accurate. You can tell it's an early one bc it's ROUGH and I almost wanna get another one to redo and compare...

Buuuut anyways. He was legitimately having customers look at my stuff and one guy wanted to show his wife. I was deeply confused but extremely flattered.

Then a 20 year old kid I had talked to about RiD earlier found a Drift I didn't have (the one that fucking launches his children across the room), and I laughed and said I'd take it. Table guy said "For you it's half price, 5 bucks!"

Then he gave me a Rodimus Robot Heroes for free. And one of those old blind bag figures of Drift for a dollar.

This was one of like 20 amazing interactions I had just in the dealer room. I wound up buying THREE NEW DRIFT FIGURES because I am EXTREMELY NORMAL AND COOL ABOUT HIM

I mentioned this in an earlier post but it got to the point where I rounded a corner and a random fucking guy ran over to me, brandishing a Drift figure, and called out "ARE YOU THE PERSON LOOKING FOR RID DRIFT?" and I was like OH MY GOD?? I HAVE THAT ONE BUT THANK YOU??? WHAT??? and he was like OKAY I HAD TO MAKE SURE! and ran away and I never saw him again. I have no idea who that guy was. He was not working a table he was shopping.

But I am The Rodimus Woman Looking For RiD Drift, For Some Reason now, I guess.

What a fucking con

it's 2am goodnight