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elyvorg · 5 years ago

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The Ultimate Talent Development Plan AU is the one canon AU in which everything is thoroughly good and despair-free and everyone lives happily ever after. …Except for Maki, potentially, because this is also the one AU in which her assassin cult is actually real and she might have to just go back to killing people once she graduates. This is Unacceptable and needs to have something done about it, because Maki deserves a happy life even more than anyone else after what she’s been through.

One of the possible ways of dealing with this is that Shuichi would fix things for her using his detective skills, like he offers to do in her last FTE in canon. He wouldn’t directly take down the assassin cult himself, but he could amass enough evidence of its awful deeds to pass on to some kind of government authority which could then move in and arrest all of its members and take the kids somewhere safe.

One time while I was thinking about this, though, a thought occurred to me: what if the assassin cult got wind of the fact that Shuichi was investigating them? What would they do then?

Imagine Maki going back to her work after graduation while clinging to the thought that it won’t be long now, that this new name on her hit list might just be the last person she’ll ever have to kill before it’s over and she’s free… only to see the name Shuichi Saihara.

And, well, that thought sure wouldn’t get out of my head and blossomed into an entire story. It would take me too long to write this as an actual fic, so instead, here’s just all of the ideas I had for how things would go, essentially telling the story right here in bullet-point form.

Part 1: how we got there

Let’s assume Hope’s Peak privileges meant that Maki didn’t have to work as an assassin while she was attending. So she’d begun to get used to having a relatively normal, non-murdery life for the three years she was there, especially with everything Kaito did to help her start facing her issues and feel more like a normal girl than a murderer.

Perhaps Maki had begun to hope, after Kaito had helped her admit that she never wanted to kill anyone, that Hope’s Peak’s supposed privilege of making its graduates “set for life” could mean that she wouldn’t have to be an assassin any more. Like, the Academy would pull some strings with the assassin cult to just completely cut her ties with it and let her live freely without the fear of those kids starving if she didn’t do what she was ordered to.

Towards the end of the three years, Kaito and Shuichi start to worry about what’ll happen to Maki once she graduates and ask her if they can do anything, but Maki tells them that she expects Hope’s Peak will do something like that for her and she’ll be fine. (She’s not completely sure they will, but she doesn’t want her friends to worry.)

…Except, that doesn’t happen. Turns out what Hope’s Peak meant by “set for life” in Maki’s case is that she’ll get to be an assassin for life. In one of her FTEs, Maki vaguely alludes to the fact that assassins in her cult are killed off once they’ve outlived their usefulness – like, perhaps, when they reach adulthood and are old enough to possibly start thinking for themselves. All Hope’s Peak did by pulling strings was make it so that that won’t happen to Maki, so that she’s trapped in her life of killing people forever! How nice of them!!!

When she learns this, Maki probably doesn’t even want to tell Kaito and Shuichi, because she doesn’t want to worry them and anyway there’s nothing they can do about it (right?). Kaito, of course, notices her acting off and distant and prods the truth out of her. Even then, Maki insists that it’s not a big deal, she’ll be able to handle it now that Kaito’s helped her feel like she’s more than just a killer; she can just live a double-life between horrible murderer and normal person and be fine, right?

Kaito and Shuichi both try to tell her that would not be remotely okay, but she insists that she doesn’t want them doing anything reckless for her sake. Besides, at least this means that she’ll never have to be replaced, meaning that as long as she’s alive and killing people, none of the other kids from her orphanage (those kids that Kaede played piano for, and that Himiko’s arranged to do a magic show for soon!) will ever have to go through what she did. That’s worth it to her.

(Kaito and Shuichi are still not okay with this, but they don’t push the topic for now.)

At Himiko’s orphanage magic show, everything is generally adorable and lovely, and Maki uses this to firmly remind herself that these kids’ smiles are what she’s being a murderer for, that it’s fine and she can handle this and nothing needs to change.

But while she’s there for the show, Maki happens to get talking with one of the kids, a girl of around ten or so, and gets the most horrifying pit in her stomach as she realises that the men who recruit assassins have been visiting, and they have their eye on this girl.

They’re replacing Maki anyway. She’s not saving anyone by continuing to be a murderer. Nothing she does as an assassin, not even as the Hope’s Peak-approved Ultimate Assassin, is ever going to make a difference to this cycle of misery.

And, that’s it. That’s the last straw. Maki manages to keep herself together long enough for the magic show to end and Himiko to remain unaware of anything weird, but as soon as they’re alone, she turns to Kaito and Shuichi and begs them to help her end this. She doesn’t want this any more, not for herself or for any of those other kids. Hope’s Peak has shown itself to not give a fuck, so Kaito and Shuichi are the only people she can turn to. She has no idea how they can do something about this – it barely seems possible at all – but that… that’s never stopped Kaito, right!?

As it turns out, Kaito and Shuichi have already been having discussions about how they can help Maki while she wasn’t around (because they knew if they brought it up in front of her she’d just shut them down), so Shuichi has already been thinking about investigating the assassin cult and taking it down that way.

Kaito was still planning on bringing this up to Maki soon and persuading her to let Shuichi help. But he’s so incredibly proud that Maki realised on her own that she didn’t want this anymore and has made the decision to try and change her fate and claw her way towards something that seems impossible! (Of course, she’d never have been able to reach that mindset without everything Kaito’s done for her, but because he didn’t have to push her to take that final step, Kaito probably doesn’t quite realise just how completely thanks to him this is.)

Part 2: the ickiest job

So now we’re basically at the point I described in the beginning of this post. As soon as they graduate from Hope’s Peak, Shuichi gets underway with investigating the assassin cult to prove what it really does and who its members are. Maki has to go back to reporting to them and acting like she works for them for the time being, but she knows it won’t be long until Shuichi ends this.

Kaito put his astronaut training on hold for now just so that he can keep an eye on them both. He has Shuichi keep him updated about the progress of his investigation, and he keeps talking to Maki as often as he can to make sure she’s feeling okay about being suddenly thrust back into that world that she’d almost escaped from. She’s mostly doing fine, but that’s only because she hasn’t received any new hit requests yet.

Until she does. Maki tells herself that this new order is going to be the last one ever, that she’ll only have to kill one more person before Shuichi can save her… and then she sees Shuichi’s name, and everything falls apart.

She can’t refuse the order. She just can’t. The cult is still fully functional and in control of her orphanage – who knows what they would do to those kids (and to that one girl they’ve already got their eye on!) if she refuses. The kids have always been why she’s doing this. She would do anything to keep them safe; she made that promise to herself long ago.

She also knows perfectly well why the cult gave this job to her rather than any of their other assassins with no connection to Shuichi. They wanted to see if she was still capable of doing it, because if she wasn’t, then she’d be compromised and of no use to them any more. If she refused, they’d probably kill her off anyway, despite their agreement with Hope’s Peak.

It’s not like that would even save Shuichi, either – they’d just pass the job onto another of their assassins. And not all of them specialise in painless deaths. Shuichi was already doomed from the moment the cult realised what he was doing and decided he had to die. Surely Maki being the one to do it, as quickly and kindly as she can, is the best way for it to happen?

Who was she kidding thinking she could ever get out of this, anyway? Assassins are always necessary. Her being an assassin has always been necessary. It doesn’t matter what she wants or how she feels. It never mattered. The impossible is just impossible; she should never have allowed herself the luxury of believing any of Kaito’s idealistic nonsense.

Kaito, who reached out to her and still believed in her even after learning the truth about her, and now she’s going to repay that kindness by murdering his best friend. He never should have got close to her and made the mistake of caring about her in the first place, and then Shuichi wouldn’t have put himself in the cult’s way and the two of them could have been just fine without her. She’s just a murderer who only ever hurts people. She never deserved them.

So, as she’s sinking into a pit of utter despair (and I am not using that word lightly here), Maki prepares herself to break into Shuichi’s house at night and kill him in his sleep. That way, at least he’ll never know that his “friend” betrayed him.

Meanwhile, Kaito heard from one of Shuichi’s recent check-ins that at one point he worried his cover might have been blown, but things seem to have been okay for the past few days, so, eh, probably not?

Except… that night, Maki suddenly doesn’t show up to Kaito’s regular mini training sessions to check on how she’s doing. She doesn’t answer his texts or calls when he tries to ask her where she is, either. He might have brushed it off as simply something having come up and her having forgotten to tell him, and also forgotten to charge her phone… but Maki doesn’t forget things like that. Then Kaito remembers what Shuichi told him the other day, and he pieces it together.

and, no, no no no no no, this can’t happen. He won’t let this happen. He’s meant to be their hero, he has to be able to do something about this, he has to.

So Kaito drops everything and just fucking sprints to Shuichi’s house in the middle of the night, his heart in his mouth, begging the stars and the universe and every force of good in the world to let him not be too late.

Maki stands over a sleeping, oblivious Shuichi, trying to convince herself that her hand holding the knife isn’t shaking, that she never had a choice, that she’s just a heartless killer who doesn’t care – only to be snapped out of it by Kaito’s voice yelling her name at the top of his lungs. Not just her name, her nickname: Maki Roll! He knows why she’s here, but she doesn’t want to do this!

And Maki, knowing that she should just finish the job right now and escape out the window before Kaito has to see her do it, finds herself frozen. Shuichi’s awake now, staring at her in bewilderment and fear, no longer blissfully oblivious… and Kaito’s right. She doesn’t want to do this. It shouldn’t matter, but he’s right.

Moments later, Kaito makes it into Shuichi’s bedroom and immediately puts himself between Maki and Shuichi. (Shuichi, having only just woken up, is not only frightened but also extremely confused and is quite happy to just stay behind Kaito where it feels safer for the moment until he can get his brain to process what the hell is going on.)

Kaito makes it very clear that if Maki’s going to kill Shuichi, she’s going to have to kill him, too. He’s not letting either of his sidekicks get hurt.

Maki’s assassin mask is not on so tightly that she can’t realise what Kaito means by those words. He’s not only protecting Shuichi from being killed; he’s trying to protect her from carrying out the act by making it as difficult for her as possible. He still cares about her, even though she was moments away from murdering his best friend. He still believes that she won’t kill him despite what she was about to do to Shuichi. How can he be such an idiot?

But of course Kaito still believes in her; Maki Roll’s his sidekick! – and Maki snaps at him to stop calling her that! She’s not a normal girl; she’s never going to get to be one. He’s doing that thing he does, where he makes her believe that she deserves to be happy, that the impossible can be possible, and maybe it is for him, but it’s not for her; it never was.

This whole time, she’s still brandishing her knife, but it’s like in those sprites of hers – she’s not pointing it at Kaito or Shuichi; she’s just holding it out like some kind of barrier, like she can stop Kaito’s words getting through to her. She can’t falter here, because those kids, that girl – who knows what’d happen to them? And it’d be all her fault, because she was selfish, because she let herself care too much, because Kaito brought that out of her like he never should have done.

But Kaito just smiles and tells her that hey, sure the impossible’s possible for her as well, they’ve just gotta work together to make it so! There’s gotta be a way out of this, too, right, Shuichi?

(because Kaito doesn’t have a goddamn clue how to actually fix this situation beyond putting himself between Maki and Shuichi in this moment so she won’t be able to go through with it, but Shuichi should know a proper way out of this, right? Shuichi always knows what to do.)

Shuichi, having more or less managed to calm his panic enough to understand what’s going on by now, tells her that he’s almost finished with his investigation. He’s pretty sure he only needs a few more days’ work to have everything he needs to take it to the authorities and take down the cult. Then those kids will be safe and Maki won’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do any more. She just needs to trust him and believe that it’s possible.

While he’s telling her this, Shuichi moves out from behind Kaito, a silent show of the fact that he still trusts her despite what he knows she almost did. He believes just like Kaito does that Maki doesn’t want to do this, that so long as she knows that there is a way out of this, then she’ll be brave enough to take that risk and let him help her.

It works. Maki had already admitted that she didn’t want this life any more before getting the hit request on Shuichi; her mask was hanging on by a thread the whole time she was here and it can’t withstand this. She kind of just breaks and begins to cry – the first time that Kaito and Shuichi have ever seen her do so. Kaito goes to hug her, partly as an excuse to gently take the knife from her, but mostly just because she really, really needs it. She doesn’t resist.

Kaito spends the hug telling her that everything’s going to be okay, not like it’s a reassurance but just like it’s fact, and in that Kaito way he has, he manages to get her to just about believe it herself.

Part 3: on the run

After Maki’s done sobbing into Kaito’s shoulder, she pulls herself together and gets down to business. The cult will be expecting her to report in that she’s completed the job soon, possibly as early as tomorrow. As soon as they realise she hasn’t and has gone rogue, they’ll send in other assassins to kill both her and Shuichi, so they can’t stay there.

(She’s still worried about what’ll happen to the kids, but Shuichi reassures her that they won’t be able to risk doing anything drastic to them for now, not when they know Shuichi’s onto them and looking for evidence of shady activity. Now of all times is when they’d want to keep pretending to be a perfectly normal orphanage that takes care of its kids. If they’re going to hurt the kids, it’ll happen later, and Shuichi’s going to make sure there won’t be a later for those assholes.)

For the time being, though, Shuichi and Maki are going to have to go into hiding. Shuichi will continue to investigate as best he can from there and Maki can use her knowledge of assassin methods to predict the ways in which the other assassins will be looking for them and keep them both safe.

And Kaito? …Technically he has nothing to do with this; the cult has no reason to want him dead and possibly doesn’t even know he has any connection to Maki or Shuichi beyond Hope’s Peak. He could just walk away from this right here and be safe.

When Maki tries to point this out to him, Kaito just stares at her and says, “Are you stupid or something?” and that’s the end of that.

(Of course she knew he’d be too stubborn to even consider leaving them like this, but she still couldn’t help but try and get him to do so, just because then at least he’d definitely get out of this alive and unhurt.)

So the three of them get the hell out of there, cut all communication with everyone else they know for the time being for their safety, and go into hiding.

(Maki makes Kaito ditch the hairstyle before they leave because it’s way too eye-catching when they need to lay low. He pretends to be indignant at first – surely there’s gotta be some kinda downside to doing that! – but then dutifully sticks his head under Shuichi’s shower for a couple of minutes without complaint.)

Kaito may not have much skill in terms of investigating or physically protecting them, but he’s here for moral support. Which isn’t just a trite excuse to make himself feel important – his friends genuinely need that more than ever.

After all, Shuichi and Maki are both kind of terrified and barely holding it together. Shuichi’s never been in a situation this dangerous before, and he’s anxious enough at the best of times. And Maki’s afraid not just for the three of them but also for the kids – if they don’t succeed, those kids will suffer the consequences too and it’ll be all her fault. So having Kaito there, somehow still managing to be his usual optimistic self, means the world to them right now.

(Kaito is equally terrified, of course. He’s just better than either of them at hiding it, and determined to do so because he knows that they need him to be strong for them, and that this is the only thing he can really do for them in this situation at all.)

Maki is quietly impressed by how strong Kaito’s managing to be for them. She’s always seen him as – well, sure, the friend who changed her life and inspired her to believe things could be better, but also as just a carefree ridiculous idiot who’d never had to go through the kind of horrors from her world. She was never entirely sure whether he’d really be able to stay that optimistic if he experienced anything close to as serious as what she’d been through – not that she ever wanted to have to find that out, of course.

Yet here Kaito is, in this life-or-death situation, still managing to make this seem like it’s just a big adventure where the good guys are obviously going to win, because that’s just how things work!

(And Maki knows full well that there’s no way Kaito’s really that oblivious to how serious the situation is, that he’s doing this on purpose to help them, and that’s… kind of incredible, actually?)

Shuichi’s much less surprised to see Kaito like this, because he’d always been under the impression that Kaito really is this strong. He’d never exactly imagined they’d ever be in this kind of situation, obviously, but even so, it just feels natural somehow that Kaito would be able to do this for them.

Kaito, on his end, is so proud to see how well his sidekicks are holding up. It’s such an incredible sign of Maki’s growth that she’s able to bring herself to fight against the cult and try and escape the reality she’d resigned herself to for so long.

And meanwhile, Kaito never realised Shuichi would be so good in a crisis. Sure, he still seems to be scared, but despite that, he’s able to focus on his task and Get Shit Done in a way that Kaito himself feels utterly lost with right now. This is the first time in this universe that Kaito has really found himself not only being proud of Shuichi, but almost… looking up to him?

(Oh you poor innocent UTDP Kaito, you have no idea.)

Being Kaito, he is also significantly underestimating the extent to which Maki and Shuichi are only able to be this strong because he’s there supporting them, despite the fact he’s very deliberately trying to do that for them and knows that it’s the only thing he’s really contributing here.

I’m not sure precisely how things go while they’re on the run, because the exact plot logistics of how Shuichi can investigate the assassin cult are not a thing I’m great at figuring out. (This is part of the reason why I won’t actually write this as a fic, aside from just not having the time.)

I’m here for the character stuff, so I’ve mostly been thinking about the quiet moments in between the detective espionage where the three of them are relatively safe together in whatever hideout they’re using. Kaito would, of course, still insist on training sessions each night – at least as much as is possible while they’re trying to stay inconspicuous and keep an eye out for enemies – and they’d be able to use those as moments to collect their thoughts and reflect on the situation.

Maki would feel awful for the fact that Kaito and Shuichi are putting themselves in this much danger just to help her. When Kaito notices she seems bothered about something that isn’t just the situation itself and prods this out of her, she’d try to insist that it’d have been better if they’d never met her and befriended her in the first place, and then they wouldn’t even know or care that child assassins like her are suffering because nobody was ever supposed to know or care.

Kaito scoffs at that idea completely. He’s a hero! Obviously he’s here to save people who are weak and suffering, so of course he should have befriended Maki in order to be able to help her and those kids like they’re doing now. What kind of idiot is she being to think he wouldn’t have wanted to do this from the start!?

Shuichi, being rather more realistic about things, admits that of course he’s really scared right now and a part of him wishes he hadn’t got wrapped up in this. But still, Kaito (and Kaede, and others) helped him realise during their time at Hope’s Peak how much he cares about helping people, and that he can use his detective skills to do that – so he’s really proud that he’s able to use his detective skills right now to literally save lives, both for Maki and those other kids. So yes, he’s scared… but he doesn’t have any regrets either.

Maki is also still hung up on and feeling awful about the part where she nearly murdered Shuichi. She can’t stop thinking that she might have actually gone through with it if Kaito hadn’t got there in time.

Shuichi hesitantly tells her that he doesn’t think she would have done – at least, he doesn’t want to think so. He saw the look in her eyes as she was standing over him when Kaito’s voice woke him up, and thinking on it now, he’s pretty sure that wasn’t the look of someone who could have done it.

(Shuichi doesn’t consider, however, that that was after Kaito’s voice woke him up, and Kaito’s voice was what started to take Maki’s mask down, too.)

Kaito insists it just doesn’t matter. He did get there in time, and she didn’t kill Shuichi because she didn’t truly want to, and so there’s no point getting worked up about possibilities when they’re not what actually happened and are never going to happen now.

(He wants to tell himself that he believes Maki still wouldn’t have done it anyway, that her better nature would have broken through and stopped her without his help. But, then again, would he really have run so desperately to Shuichi’s place like he had if he’d truly believed that? Kaito doesn’t voice that thought.)

Maki then brings up the fact that there’s always the possibility she could still kill Shuichi right now and potentially get herself and the kids out of this situation safely. How on earth can either of them truly trust that she won’t after she almost did so before?

Kaito’s answer is simple – because he wants to! He wants to believe that she’s stronger than that, that she can believe Shuichi will save them and isn’t going to give up and take the coward’s way out. After all, she’s his sidekick, and of course a sidekick of his is capable of facing something like this with courage! She already showed that when she stopped herself before!

Shuichi agrees that he wants to believe in Maki – because she’s his friend. He knows that he wouldn’t want to kill his friends if he were in Maki’s shoes, and would try as hard as he could to find some other way out, so he wants to believe that Maki feels the same way.

Maki relents and accepts that they really mean that and really aren’t scared of her in this situation at all. After all, she wants to believe that she’s stronger than that, too – and if they believe in her that much, despite everything, then maybe she really is that strong after all.

They are friends. That’s the core of this whole story – these three friends who are so scared of losing each other and of losing themselves, just desperately holding onto each other and protecting each other through this terrifying situation. Shuichi’s detective skills are necessary to take down the cult and end this; Maki’s assassin skills are necessary to protect them while he’s doing this; Kaito’s luminary skills are necessary because without his support Shuichi and Maki would both fall apart. (And without Kaito’s friendship over their time at Hope’s Peak, neither of them would have even dreamed of trying to do this, that it was even possible to take down the cult and give Maki a happy ending in the first place.) They need each other and they are FRIENDS and I love them so much.

Part 4: the end

I’m not quite sure precisely how things would end, because aaaa plot logistics again. But one way or another, they succeed in taking down the cult and get out alive. One universe in which even one of these friends dies is more than enough and I’m not about to make another.

Maybe during some kind of final showdown, Kaito makes an unthinking reckless leap to protect Maki, which succeeds, but he ends up getting shot in his left arm because of it. I dunno, I just think the parallel to what happens to him in canon would be neat.

While everyone is otherwise fine, Maki feels guilty that they didn’t all get out unhurt. Now Kaito’s going to have to postpone starting his astronaut training for several months while his injury heals and it’s all because of her. Kaito literally could not care less, though; this is the most insignificant price to pay for Maki and Shuichi and those kids being safe.

Maki keeps insisting that it’s not okay, that he shouldn’t have got hurt on her account, and in Kaito’s increasingly fervent attempts to get her to drop it, he kind of accidentally blurts out that this is nothing because he was ready to die for them if he needed to.

When Shuichi and Maki press him on that, he clams up and doesn’t elaborate. He meant what he said, but that’s all there is to it, stop talking about it, guys.

(Kaito spent enough time while on the run thinking about how he couldn’t bear to lose Shuichi and Maki, such that he realised he would rather die trying to protect them than live knowing that he’d failed to do so. He has no regrets about having decided that, but… he’s kind of shaken up by the thought of it. It’s the first time in his life he’s really properly thought about his own mortality, not just in the sense that life is short and you never know what might happen (guess who lost his parents to a car crash), but in terms of being genuinely prepared to die if it should ever become necessary. He’s always been so fiercely determined to live his life to the fullest; it’s… weird to know that he would have willingly cut it short. That he’d have been the one to prevent himself from ever making it into space.)

(Oh you poor innocent UTDP Kaito, you have no idea, again.)

Long story short, they’re all safe and free to live out the rest of their lives now, but they’re also just a liiiiittle bit traumatised by this.

Kaito would of course try to hide the fact that any of this got to him, just like he hid how scared he was while it was actually happening, because they need him to help with their trauma and how could he do that if they knew he was struggling too?

Kaito’s outburst about being ready to die for them and the way he was uncomfortable and cagey about it afterwards would give Shuichi and Maki an inroad to realise that something’s up with him, though. So one way or another, with enough prodding and reassurance, they’d eventually be able to get through to him and make him realise that it’s okay to show weakness to them and it doesn’t make him any less inspiring of a hero.

(Yes, it’s me; I couldn’t resist finding a way to put that outcome in this AU too. Kaito deserves to get over his issues and learn not to be an idiot about this no matter what universe he’s in.)

So they’ll all be okay in the end. Even Kaito.

Regardless of their newfound issues that they’re having to work through, both Kaito and Shuichi firmly agree that it was worth it. They’d have taken twice this amount of pain if that was the only way they could save Maki and all those kids like her from ever having to go through even worse trauma ever again.

Kaito’s a hero, after all! – and this whole thing has made Shuichi realise more than ever, after Kaito points it out to him, that maybe he can be a hero too.

(Alternatively, instead of this ending described here, maybe Kaito has a considerably worse time than just getting shot in the arm.)

#danganronpa v3 #maki harukawa #shuichi saihara #kaito momota #danganronpa v3 spoilers #friends #training trio #my buttons #v3 aus #writing #not quite regular prose writing but this *is* basically a condensed version of an entire fanfic #most of my au ideas won't be *this* elaborate but man this one really captured me #utdp cult takedown au

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agnesgoesadventuring-blog · 7 years ago

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Not every argument has someone who is completely in the right and someone who is completely in the wrong. Especially when it comes to personal values like what someone feels about money. That's a highly personal things that’s going to be based very much on personal experiences.

Jester clearly grew up in a life that was very privileged in some ways (and obviously, based on what we know from last week, in other ways very much not), so she doesn't seem to have much of an understanding of what it's like to have to manage your money and what it's like to not have money. I don't think "spoiled" is necessarily a fair word, but she comes from a higher socio economic status and she pretty obviously doesn't have a grasp on having a lower "means" than what she grew up with and how to live within those means. She definitely has something of a rude awakening coming. That lack of understanding seems to have led to a lack of sensitivity when it comes to matters of money, and particularly in regards to not having much, which led to her be rather insensitive in the way she responded to Caleb's comment about 50 gold being more money than his parents had ever made. She doesn't understand how small a comment that was something like "50 gold was like my daily allowance!" might make someone who grew up poor and who doesn't have a lot of money feel.

This is an area where Jester has a lot of growing up to do and a lot of development to come. Of course she does. It would be dull as hell if these characters didn't have incredible flaws based on their backgrounds that they need to develop beyond.

She made Caleb feel bad. Whether the whole mud smearing thing was a specific in-character choice or just Liam messing with Laura, his reaction to her words and the way he walked off shows that what she said made him feel bad. Of course it would. Obviously this was not intentional on Jester's part and she doesn't have the frame of reference to understand why it would make him upset.

And as far as Caleb's side, of course he's bothered by someone with so much money acting like having "only" 50g is such a horrible situation to be in, especially after he kindly offered her some of his money. If he was being honest about his parents, he grew up in a world where 50g was a fortune, and where having that much money, which Jester thinks is so littler, would have changed a lot for them and probably fixed a lot of problems. Someone acting like having that much money is a horrible situation to be in is naturally going to make one feel perhaps a bit resentful, but likely very much like their life is some horrible thing.

But like Jester has no frame of reference for what it's like to not have money and to not understand what that feels like, Caleb would have no frame of reference for what it's like to grow up with a lot of money and to suddenly have that source of income cut off. Jester has never had to worry about this kind of thing, about truly running out of money. She's never had to make a choice between buying what she wants and just buying what she needs, or even having to make a choice between two different things she needs. This is a shock to her, and it's going to continue being a shock to her. It's going to be hard for her as she learns how to learn a completely different way of life.

Along the way, Jester is going to have to experience life without that constant source of money and she's going to encounter people who have very little. Now, if those things happen and she doesn't develop a better and more empathetic understanding, is she continues with her personal disdain for having so little money, then there's a problem with her behavior and mindsets. But we're at the beginning of her story. It's the beginning of her character development in this regard.

Jester's slight panic and worry about not getting money from her mother is a valid emotion considering her upbringing and the lack of frame of reference she has when it comes to not having money. Caleb's insistent feelings that the money they have is more than enough and any hurt feelings he has from Jester's comment are totally valid emotions considering his own personal frame of reference and the frame of reference he lacks in regards to Jester's situation.

This isn't some argument where one is the terrible, thoughtless person and the other is totally in the right, or where one is totally blameless and did nothing wrong and the other is just being overly sensitive. It's an argument between two people who come from completely different worlds who, at this point, simply can't understand where the other is coming from. They're both right and they're both wrong. There's no need to demonize either character, and there's no reason to completely excuse either character.

#critical role #caleb widogast #jester

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kmn247m · 5 years ago

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reflection

A strange old year with the highest highs and the lowest lows I've ever experienced, along with some very important life lessons/curve balls thrown in. I would've said it's been an awful year; however a friend of mine said not long ago that "it hasn't been a bad year, it's just been a year where bad things have happened". True.

In reality, and despite the magnitude of said bad thing that and all that came with it, this year really has been for what of a better word... great. And so... reflection. Thursday 7th February I was at a charity quiz with a few of my work colleagues. I had a missed call that from 'Dad' that I couldn't answer during the quiz so left it with the intention of calling him back when I got home. "He's probably drunk anyway" I thought. Sure enough the quiz ran late, I got home and went straight to sleep. No call back. Friday 8th February I was out for a friend's birthday party. I still remember being sat on the bench in the smoking area of Outback when I received a message from Dad's best friend sending me their condolences. I remember thinking "I know I'm drunk but what is this guy talking about, surely he has the wrong person, Dad only tried to call me last night" but my mind wouldn't settle so I referred the message to family... suffice to say absolutely nothing and nobody could've prepared me for the call that followed. The next 30 minutes or so was a blur but I do remember inconsolably crying whilst two friends had to effectively carry me out of the door because despite my best efforts my legs just would. not. work. Cue the following morning which is met with not only a hangover but incomprehensable emotion, and the question "well what the fuck do we do now?" The week that followed was again like nothing I've ever experienced and nothing I could prepare for. A funeral I never expected to plan. A goodbye I only got to say once and it wasn't perfect because I wasn't ready. More tears and sleepless nights than I would ever care to admit. Guilt, overwhelming guilt for not answering the phone call during the stupid quiz, not calling him back, not speaking to him more often in general. What kind of daughter was I? Unanswered questions. Was he alone? Was he happy? Did he know he was going to die? What would I have said to him if I'd have known? Is it better that we didn't know? It's difficult to think about these things, but the only one certainty and saving grace that came out of such a horrible time is love. Love to and from my entire family. Relatives from everywhere that made every effort to be there. The hugs, the laughs, the tears, the countless cups of tea, the way that we managed to fill the entire pub for the wake and all stories and memories shared were ones of love. No hate. The love and strength shown by my sister in an attempt to shield my brother and I from the 'adult' details of planning a funeral - the expense, the undertaker, everything. The love shown by my friends. In the weeks post-news I felt so empty. They sent flowers, messages of support, love, ralleyed around me and made sure I was never unwillingly alone and that I could talk about it if I wanted. A few people in particular who I'm sure know who they are without being mentioned.. but I also found comfort in people I never expected, and in retrospect, lost it in people I would've expected it from. I came to the sad realization that time and life and people do not stand still because something bad has happened to you. Some days you forget you’re even sad and then you’ll receive a reminder in the worst way and that’s something you have to live with. Although sometimes you wish it wouldn't, you have to get up for work in the morning, you have to speak to people, you have to deal with your day to day life because it will not wait for you.

And with that came the following.... Success. A distinction in a diploma module that I typed up the coursework for on the boat on the way to Dad's funeral. I submitted it a day after my return not expecting anything from it, and landed the best marks I'd ever achieved. Shortly followed and largely topped by being awarded Young Achiever of the Year by the Isle of Man Insurance Institute. Easily my biggest achievement to date! Next... More love. In a very unexpected human that I didn't ever imagine I'd meet, but as fate would have it I decided to go out that night and there he was. Fast forward 7 months and he's been my boyfriend for 4 of those months. He is my best friend, myself in male form, knows me better than I know myself, is my voice of reason, my biggest fan and everything inbetween... Memories. I had the trip of a lifetime this July. I visited Rome, Nice, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Prague, Krakow and Budapest. I experienced albeit sweltering heat, ate some of the greatest food, and witnessed some of the wonders of the world in these places. I discovered things about these places I would never have known otherwise, but also discovered things about myself. I hate to sound cliché in saying that I found myself while I was away, but I really really did. But the memories did not stop there. There have been fantastic nights in, nights out where we drank gin and stayed up dancing to stupid songs until 4am; my first ever trip to London; Christmas with Lewis and my family was incredible; and I'm looking forward to celebrating the New Year, welcoming 2020 with all its fresh ideas and plans and new memories....

Lessons. Before this year I'd probably cringe at any quote I saw relating to "don't take anything for granted" or "never go to bed on an argument" etc. you know the ones. But I've come to understand the true value of these statements and will never be ignorant again. If I were to give anyone advice based on what I've learnt this year, I would be this: - Pick up the phone call. Or better yet, pick up the phone. It may be an unknown number, it may be a nuisance call, it may be somebody calling in a crisis, or they may have just been calling to say hello. Pick it up. If you can't, call back at your earliest opportunity. Even if nobody calls you, call someone - a distant relative - or send somebody a message to let them know you're thinking of them once in a while. It goes a very, very long way. - Love unequivocally and whole heartedly. Every single person that you surround yourself with is worthy of all of your love - there are no limits to how much you can give. The world truly is a more beautiful place when there is love around. - Let go of the small stuff. So someone said something to annoy you that one time - so? Will you remember in a week? I'm not saying you shouldn't argue, and by all means if something offends you then please please make it known.. but to be blunt, ask yourself this - if they died unexpectedly tomorrow, would you hold it against them? If the answer is no, be in a mood with them for an hour or so and then just let. it. go. Say sorry even if you're not. Make peace and live in it. And last but not least, do not take anybody or anything for granted. Here I go, saying it. But it's true. If not for any other reason, so you don't end up like me, living life sad and full of guilt at the wastest opportunities I had to spend time with my Dad, when I would give anything in the world right now for 5 more minutes with him. Too often in life we mistake kindness for weakness and play on people to get what we want. We assume we have all the time in the world, when really it can (and sometimes does) end tomorrow. So, as a parting message, a rule for us all to live by. A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. When you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. The moment we start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one. 2020, I am ready for you.

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trinityvixen · 7 years ago

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Whatever happened to “show don’t tell”?

Spoilers for season seven of Game of Thrones!

When I think of the scenes I liked best in season six of Game of Thrones, the one thing they have in common is silence. The absence of dialogue and other noises allowed what wasn’t said to come to the forefront. The music carried some scenes, like the montage of people getting ready for the trial in the season six finale. In others, like Jon’s resurrection, the use of an otherwise mundane sound—breathing—to emphasize just how miraculous (and awful) Jon’s return to life following his murder was. Sometimes, there are no words for an emotion, and you have to trust actors to convey emotion. Season six gave that up in spades. Melisandre’s depression and loss of faith. Jon’s confrontation with the abject horror of his own murder. Sansa and Jon’s joy at their reunion. Theon’s insecurity as he returned to the Iron Islands. The best actor on the show, Lena Headey, letting her face crumple from height of joy and relief to the depths of despair in one glorious shot. Then, of course, the ultimate reveal of the show—Jon Snow’s true parentage—is told in a vision that transitions to Jon’s face. It’s good, but compared to the other scenes, perhaps a little on-the-nose.

Now imagine how much more so it would be if Bran had been speaking over it—“My father lied all his life to protect his sister’s child who is my supposed half-brother.” You don’t have to imagine it: the season seven finale did it. Any time there could have just been emotion, or acting to convey it, we got explanation instead. As a friend of mine put it, “so was that whole episode just a really long explanation for people who haven't been keeping up?” Exposition dumps haven’t been this heavy-handed since season one, when Littlefinger explained the world to Ned and Sansa Stark as a way of explaining it to us, the viewers.

At every turn this season, someone is Explaining How It Is to someone else. It’s why Sandor Clegane is the season’s most refreshing character because he just tells people to shut up and get on with it. Explaining How It Is doesn’t have to be boring if the conversation reveals character. In season one, Cersei and Robert Baratheon have an extraordinary exchange of words in which their mutual dislike of and disappointment in the other is the only bit of honesty we ever see between them. It’s unexpected for them—previously unable to speak without fighting—and it captures in one conversation what the years of their marriage have been like to lead them to this point. Cersei has another such amazing conversation with Tyrion—a man she hasn’t seen for two years and who until recently she thought responsible for the death of her son—in the season seven finale that is easily the highlight of the episode (and this in an episode where the Wall comes down because of a zombie dragon). Part of that must be attributed to Lena Headey being able to turn words into weapons, to inform more with the inflection of her voice than any dialogue could as to how Cersei is feeling in the moment. (It also helps that she is paired off with two actors of her caliber in those scenes.)

Explaining How It Is gets boring when it is solely for the audience because there are only seven episodes to get across the major reveal of the season, again having to do with Jon’s lineage. Quite apart from the ire for this development that book readers have (no book spoilers here), it’s pretty grating because it’s a cliché and it is communicated poorly and it requires a strange nonsensical reason for it to have been held back. Bran has sat on the information he has about Jon for an entire season. He could have told this sister, Sansa, to give her something use in her fight against Littlefinger; you could only have forgiven him for not doing so if he didn’t care about that struggle, but seeing as he helps her eventually convict the man of treason, that explanation makes no sense. Instead, the first person Bran tells is Sam. They don’t even get a moment for them to Explain How It Is to each other since Sam let Bran go beyond the Wall (the guilt Sam must have felt, letting his best friend’s crippled brother go off to near-certain death, the relief he feels seeing that decision hasn’t led to something horrible). It’s all about the elephant in the room—or, more accurately, the elephant on a boat currently having sex with his aunt. Bran Explains How It Is that Jon is actually the crown prince, not a royal or any other kind of bastard, but the boy who knows all apparently needs Sam to help him know that much. That beggars belief, again, as we must believe that Bran, having learned Jon is not his brother but his cousin, would, despite having all of space and time to gander at, not investigate further.*

Explaining How It Is is how Jon and Daenerys end up in bed together, too. These two are a fated couple, so the writing has been on the wall for a while about them boning (despite their familial relation). It makes a lot of sense, even. But just because something is Fated to Happen doesn’t mean we should just accept that that fate explains away lack of chemistry and lack of interaction. I call it the First Class failure. In X-Men: First Class, Charles Xavier is a prick, a man born to incredible privilege who tries to talk a victim of the Holocaust (Magneto) out of killing people who tried to kill him because “they were just following orders.” There is no coming back from that dick move, but the movie franchise still supports Xavier as “ the good guy” because that’s the role he is fated to play later.** The First Class failure is one in which a writer or writers feel they can be as narratively lazy as they like so long as the audience has a sense of where things are going already.

The internet loves to get into shipping wars, so a lot of people who don’t see Jon and Daenerys as a couple (especially, as seems to be argued by the show, a couple like his father and mother, that are in love) get dismissed as being disappointed at not getting their pairing of choice. Debate gets heated, the gifs proving that Jon and Daenerys make googly eyes at each other so they’re in love, QED, are circulated. Sticking strictly with the characters as we’ve known them up until now and the events of season 7 versus seasons 1 through 6, I argue that there is a lot of Explaining How It Is because there is no effort to show it naturally developing with a whopping dose of First Class failure thrown in.

Consider the characters first, specifically their respective romances to date and what those relationships have done to shape them as people. Daenerys was raped by her husband but came to love him. His people, his way of life, her marriage to those things as well as him is what first gave her the strength to be a queen. It gave her power and responsibility. She may not have initially chosen him, but she chooses those things. She gains the confidence that eventually overthrows slavery, unites her with several great houses from the land of her birth, and, of course, gives her the courage to birth dragons (and, by consequence, great magic) back into the world. Her romance with Daario is less world-shakingly terrifying, but it shapes her no less because it is a romance she chooses. Daenerys is setting about to break chains; taking Daario as a lover is about breaking the chain that says a woman belongs to a man. Part of that is privilege—it’s fine for a queen to take a lover, but the further down the hierarchy you go, the less likely that is to be permitted—but it’s an important character moment: Daenerys chooses for herself. That, in addition to the confidence built out of her previous relationship, is how the Dragon Queen comes to Westeros.

Jon’s romantic entanglements deal primarily with the chip he has on his shoulder about being a bastard. He is a virgin almost not by choice because he is terrified of being what everyone thinks all bastards are: lustful, sinful creatures. He not only doesn’t want to father bastards himself (because in his drama king mindset, it is the worst thing to be: a well-fed, educated man with an inconvenient last name), he has a somewhat understandable fear, given that he knows nothing of his mother, that any woman he desires could be related to him.*** Ygritte is therefore not only the first woman to aggressively pursue him, but she is the first woman he can guarantee will not be either related to him or caring about children with him. He is using her to establish his cover, and yes, he falls in love with her. It’s understandable that he does—he has no experience negotiating romantic relationships, much less as a spy, so he does best to deceive her by believing his own lie (and even then, she is aware he is not totally turned traitor for her). But damn if the lady still doesn’t have to work for it. Ygritte goes the full-body press on Jon, literally, as she finally takes his virginity by stripping naked and kissing him. She challenges him to prove his manhood, and Jon, who relies on his honor as a man to find any measure of respect for himself in a world that would deny it to him, accepts that challenge. That is something of a theme with Jon, both the women needing to throw themselves at him naked—Melisandre takes a similar tack—and the appeal to his honor being what decides whether he will won’t sleep with them. Melisandre fails in her seduction because Jon’s honor as Lord Commander and his mourning his love for Ygritte preclude his having sex with anyone. It takes losing both those things—stepping down as Lord Commander because of his murder and time passing for Ygritte’s memory to have less hold on him—for him to be in a position to find another person. Jon’s relationships have been fewer than Daenerys, but they removed the mystique and taint of sex for him enough that he can now focus on the bigger picture (the war against the undead). It’s almost cliché that the man has to get laid to be able to concentrate on real problems, but it does describe, more or less, how Jon matures due to his romantic relationships.****

So that is where they are before they meet in season seven. Season seven reduces them both to caricatures of themselves, sadly. Daenerys has always walked a fine line between doing justifiable violence and being a mad queen. She showed every promise of being able to compromise, to learn from advisors who reign in her worst instincts—Ser Barristan, Jorah, and then Tyrion. She was even willing to give away part of the lands she hoped to rule to Yara Greyjoy. This is a woman who knows something of compromise. And while it’s one thing to promise away the Iron Islands in return for alliance and security against raiders at sea and quite another to ignore another person claiming the largest swath of the lands she claims, it is still unjustifiably harsh of Daenerys to come down so fiercely on Jon Snow when they meet. It could have been the moment for her to learn more about the consequences of her family member’s behaviors again and to react to such news that the Targaryens weren’t all Mona Lisa Sapersteins (“I have never done anything wrong ever”) with compassion and understanding. Instead, she is reduced to Dragon Queen. The same thread will be picked up again later with her treatment of the Tarlys, although she is more in the right there to say that men who were actively opposing her on the battlefield and expressed an intention to do so again, are fair game for execution.****** All around her are people worried she has become unstable, and for good reason: she has suddenly been written as being unstable and unsympathetic.

For his part, Jon is wildly unable to find his footing as a king coming to treat with a queen. Part of that is due to Tyrion neglecting to mention Daenerys wanted him to swear fealty to her. But Jon has, for two episodes prior, spent a great deal of time succeeding better than one would have thought at being kingly, despite being challenged from a surprising corners (both Sansa and Lyanna Mormont tell him not to go to Dragonstone). He also managed to convince the Night’s Watch, back in the day, to let him bring Wildlings through the Wall. Yes, he was murdered, but he got it done first. He even got Aliser Thorne on side for beheading Janos Slynt. Point is, Jon is capable of defending himself as a leader. He has shed his insecurity about being a bastard and decided to be a king. For him, as soon as he meets Daenerys, that means behaving as stupidly as possible and reverting back to pre-Ygritte Jon, he of the moody silences and pouts. He never mentions dragonglass to her, the whole reason for his coming. Despite his experience with the incredulity of literally every person who has not seen a wight or White Walker, he somehow expects Daenerys to believe him about the army of the dead and to decide to fight against it. This despite, again, every person who hasn’t seen it whom he has tried to cajole into fighting (when he wasn’t in power to make them), having brushed him off. He is suddenly too embarrassed to use the fact of his own resurrection to prove that, just maybe, the dead don’t stay dead. The stupidity snowball avalanches from there, culminating in the worst atrocity committed against Jon’s intelligence in the entire show: the wight hunt.

So that is how the First Class problem happens. Daenerys is reduced to madness and Jon imbecility, but we should still want them to get together despite their characters being hollow images of their former glory. They’re end game, so the writers don’t have to make their romance convincing. Looks are exchanged that are meant to be significant, but we have seen both these characters look at lovers before and, well, these are not those looks. Enemies to lovers is a great trope, but with so little time to nudge that progression along, and with both of them engaged in battles away from the other, there is nothing to build out of any looks that might actually be significant. Worst crime of all: we come back to Explaining How It Is because both Davos and Tyrion are given leaden lines to say that their respective monarchs are obviously in love with the other. If you have to tell, you haven’t shown.

It does get better. Daenerys seeing the army of the dead and losing a dragon softens her character, and Jon realizing the height of his idiocy has harmed her badly is the first genuinely understanding, caring, and, yes, romantic, moment they share. The hand-holding bit, her curiosity about his unexplained scars, his guilt over killing what he learns is her child—that is the good shit right there. If the season had just two more episodes after it instead of one, I fully could have believed them to fall for one another. There just wasn’t time. The writers didn’t let the actors do the work and their dialogue didn’t get it done either. Anything that got built by episode six was premised on character assassination and the worst plot thread since they let Ramsay Bolton torture Theon for three seasons. The center could not hold.

Is it wrong to root for Jon/Daenerys or to find their dry humping set to the tune of Bran monologuing sexy? No. Naked people are frequently sexy. Indeed, the scene, divorced from the narration and the narrative that led to it, as has been populating tumblr since, can be sexy. The show should have done better by the fans who wanted to see it. I’m glad that some of them can still be happy with events. I feel the show failed them because it told them how things were to be instead of letting it just be.

*Then again, he doesn’t investigate anything further. He learns how the Night King was created, but he never looks to see how the last war against him, in which both men and the Children of the Forest fought together, to learn how they drove him back long enough for Bran the Builder to construct the Wall to keep him out. Seems like that information could be more useful than just occasionally checking in via warged ravens as to how close to said Wall the Night King was traveling.

**Xavier also ends the movie non-consensually erasing the mind of a woman so she cannot know about him or his school. It is framed as being done to protect her from interrogation. He literally mindwipes a woman “for her own good” without her consent. Rape culture, in the mutant world.

***It’s ironic, then, that his major fanfic and now canon pairings are all way more incestuous than him hooking up with Roz the plucky prostitute from the show.

****And possible his non-romantic ones, depending on how you read his post-resurrection scenes with people he clearly loves. Dolorous Edd is Jon’s friend, but they undoubtedly love each other, if Edd’s fury at his death and their relieved hug when Jon lives again are any indication. From there, it can get fuzzy with shipper lenses on. But yeah, Edd was Jon’s friend and the show has forgotten him, which is too bad. Then again, it has isolated Jon from people he loves for the entire season, partially, I think, to make his falling into love with Daenerys more believable.*****

*****It’s not that it couldn’t happen any other way, but if you’re alone, isolated from your loved ones, on a desperate quest no one takes seriously, and a frustrating, beautiful woman even gives you a slightest bit of help, well, romances have been built on less.

******Daenerys is not a mad queen for fighting with dragons on a battlefield. Honestly, compared to the gory horror of amputations, eviscerations, and impaling that went on at the Battle of the Bastards*******, what she does is almost merciful and has a lot less to clean up to prevent corpses from coming back.

*******Still don’t like the show title being the in-canon name for that battle.

#GoT7 #This is not about shipping #This is about storytelling

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lynchgirl90 · 7 years ago

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#TwinPeaks @Vulture: @eamonfarren on embodying evil, Richard’s motivations, & what it’s like to shoot such violent scenes

Eamon Farren On Playing Twin Peaks’ Embodiment of Evil and What Makes Him Such a Lynchian Villain

By Devon Ivie

When Richard Horne first made his way onto the screen in Twin Peaks: The Return, he seemed like one cool cat who could easily pick up a beautiful lady or two at the Bang Bang Bar. The cigarette! The indifferent stare! Those beautifully sculptured cheekbones! Swoon. But in typical Lynchian fashion, Richard went from alluring to troubling in the blink of the eye — he chokes a young woman vying for his attention at the bar, and in subsequent episodes, reveals even more violent, Frank Boothian urges that include running over a boy with his car while drugged out, seemingly killing the woman who witnessed him do it, and then attacking and robbing his grandmother in perhaps the most disturbing Peaks scene in recent memory. (Hello Johnny, how are you today…hello Johnny, how are you today…)

Despite this nightmarish on-screen portrayal, Vulture decided to call up Australian actor Eamon Farren — who, thank goodness for this writer, is a very amiable and polite young man — to discuss embodying evil, Richard’s motivations, and what it’s like to shoot such violent scenes.

Hey, Eamon. I’m emotionally scarred by episode ten but excited to talk to you nonetheless. Hi, Devon. [Laughs.] How cool. Thanks, me too.

How does it feel being so feared of by the entire Twin Peakscommunity?

I think it’s pretty cool and it’s a bit of an honor. I had a feeling when we were making this thing that this would hopefully be the reaction that we got, and I think Lynch and I have achieved what we wanted to so far.

Before we dissect your character a little bit, can you tell me how you became involved with the show? Did you have a previous relationship with David?

I was doing a play in Australia called The Present, which I did with Cate Blanchett on Broadway early last year. We were in Sydney for the first run. We were almost at the end of our season and it was a Wednesday between shows. I got a message on my phone from my agent telling me to call her immediately. When I called her, she sounded a little bit confused, but said she got a message from Lynch’s camp to ask if I was available and interested, and if so, there was a part for me in Twin Peaks. It was a pretty cool call to get! I said yes straight away, obviously. As for a previous relationship, I’d done a movie with his daughter, Jennifer Lynch, a few years ago called Chained with Vincent D’Onofrio. I never asked him, but I’m assuming he saw that film and kept me in his mind.

So you didn’t have to audition at all? That’s nice.

Just the call. It was one of the most bizarre and wonderful happenstances in my life. Every now and then hopefully something like that happens in people’s careers and I was really, really happy to get that call.

Did David give you any indication as to who you’d be playing before you came to the States?

I got nothing, in true Lynch form, which is what I love. I had a very quick phone call with him. He called me at home in Australia on a Sunday a week before I left to come. He asked if I had any questions and I said, Yeah, I have a bunch of questions, can I ask who I’m playing? He said, No buddy, not really. Come over here and come into this cool forest and make a cool thing with cool people. So that’s all I had. I jumped on a plane the morning after we closed The Present and I arrived in Seattle and started shooting. With the whole thing, because we only get scenes only on the day of, I threw myself into it not really knowing anything. That was a really cool way to work — I turned up. I had brief chats with Lynch about little things not really to do with the character, it was more about each other and sharing a laugh. I got a sense of Richard from the writing. It’s all on the page, really. That’s the great thing about Lynch. The writing is so particular. I didn’t have a lot of go on except in the moment on the day, and that was a really great experience, to throw yourself in and find yourself in the moment. We usually only did one or two takes for each scene. If there’s anyone you’re going to trust in the world, it’s going to be David Lynch.

When you finally found out how violent and inherently evil your character was, did it give you pause as to whether you wanted to be the face of pure Lynchian horror? Especially since Richard has mostly been violent towards women so far?

I recognize the violence towards women especially and his actions … it didn’t give me pause, but I was aware of the actions and what was being put into the world. But I was all-in with this project and this character simply because I think to be part of this Twin Peaks family and legacy is such a privilege. But also there’s something that Lynch does that creates character, tension, and circumstance that’s valid and necessary for the story. Obviously the scenes and the actions that Richard does that we’ve seen already in the show are brutal and horrible, but I feel like to show that in its full, for want of a better word, glory — ironically, glory — is really important because that sets off what needs to be set off in the story. So, no pause from me. I just wanted to do the best job I could to represent that kind of person and that kind of action truthfully, so we can hate his actions and even, if you want, hate him as much as you should.

What would you say is the prime motivator for Richard’s disturbing behavior? It seemed after the scene you shared with Balthazar Getty’s drug dealer in a previous episode, Richard was sent off by being called a “kid” in particular.

There’s a lot that motivates his character. Lynch and I talked a bit about that, and Lynch also trusted me with making my own decisions about where it came from. He didn’t share specifically where he thought it came from, and that was a fun bit as well — because it adds to that horror to viewers. We shouldn’t know where exactly this stuff comes from. We’re just presented with this full person in trauma or rage or hurt or all of the above, or maybe just pure, bad evil. I know exactly where I think it comes from, but I think it’s important to keep it to myself, specifically because Lynch would want it that way, but also because it gives the chance for every single person who encounters Richard to wonder and have their own version of what they’re seeing. It’s truly more scary to not really know where it comes from specifically. That’s what adds to the horror to Richard.

Do you see him as a competent villain, or rather one that’s plagued by impulses and rash decisions? How do you read him?

He has to be someone that is impulsive and rash and full of rage and full of trauma, whether that be his own trauma or other people’s trauma, whatever it is. Therefore, the impulses and the rash decisions make him very unpredictable. That’s where his terrifying elements come from — he’s so unpredictable and no one could be safe in the presence of this guy. I don’t even know if he has knowledge of where he could go next or what he could do next. That’s truly horrific. If we ever encounter people who give us fear in our life, the unpredictability is what strikes the fear. Understanding and knowledge of some other person gives you some comfort or at least some other understanding of where they’re coming from. That’s what’s great about what Lynch did for me. He didn’t give me the time as an actor to try and figure out a very specific and acknowledged backstory or reasons why. The “why” isn’t really the important question, it’s “what” and “how” and “where” he’s going to go to next. That’s what makes him a Lynchian villain

For scenes where violence is depicted onscreen — like Richard choking his grandmother and another girl at a bar — as opposed to offscreen where we can use our imagination, what direction does David give you when you’re filming? Are your mannerisms very carefully laid out ahead of time, or are you given range to experiment with something in the moment to get more fearful reactions?

Lynch lays it out in the script. Almost everything that we see is in the script, as far as the physical actions. There were a few things that I threw up to David that he either really ran with or didn’t. As I said, we usually do only one or two takes, so I felt the trust from him to know that we could explore what was within the page. I also really respected that if it didn’t work, we would make adjustments. Physically, what Lynch did with Richard was to show you just enough violence to really hit home that this was a physical threat, but then pepper it with off-screen stuff to really keep the imagination alive as well. With those two in tandem, it’s more terrifying than your average villain that you meet in the world. We can see his physical threat sometimes, and then we’re left to our imagination with others. That’s how Lynch creates true terror — we have enough to go by that we recognize, but we also then have the space to imbue him with the horrors that we can find within ourselves or our imaginations.

How do get into the mindset for when you film particularly unpleasant scenes?

My own preparation for the day is to search for the truthfulness in that moment, and the physical violence has to ring true. I have to lean into that and go there. But the most important thing is that I got to work with some incredible actresses opposite me. Trust is a big thing on set when you have those moments. Everyone that was working on those scenes, either with a violent moment or any other moment, everyone wanted to be there and wanted to tell the story. I was very lucky to have worked with women who really trusted me and I trusted them. They gave as much as they could in that performance and gave me the permission. And then Lynch gave us the permission to lean into those moments. It’s essential to be ready yourself, but you can’t do it unless you’re working with very confident and trusting actors.

For the grandmother scene in particular in episode ten, obviously that was a pretty intense and physical moment. Lynch was warning us to portray that in a way that was truthful and scary, and I was amazed at the crew and the actors in the scene to give each other permission to do it. To be safe always, but to go there. That’s what makes the magic in those scenes.

After you film those scenes, do you feel emotionally drained?

I hope I never brush those moments off, because they’re moments … if you lean into them and if you find the truth in them, it would be horrible to be able to brush them off. As an actor, I never like to carry anything with me. It’s my job to lean in and tell the truth and find those moments. The great thing about the set, too, is that the mood was always jovial but committed. It was very easy to enjoy the making of it as opposed to getting lost in any unnecessary character hangovers. I like work as an actor where the work is very important, but it’s also very important to realize, as Lynch said to me, that we’re working on a cool thing. You should never forget that. The work can only be elevated when everyone enjoys what they do and enjoys each other. And David made sure to set that all up.

After that grandmother scene in particular, I was so emotionally drained that I immediately texted my grandma and was like, “Hey Mimi, just checking in to say hi…”

Yeah, I think there’s something definitely wrong with you if you watch that scene and you don’t want to call your grandma. [Laughs.] It’s terrifying and horrific. I would be quite worried about you, Devon, if you felt any different. My grandparents have already passed away, so I felt a little but able to not have that moment afterwards. But if my grandma was still alive, I’d pay the international toll to make sure she was okay.

What do you make of the theory that Richard is the child of Audrey and Evil Cooper?

I would never make any assumptions, Devon. Ever. [Laughs.]

What have you found most enjoyable throughout your newbieTwin Peaks experience?

When I walked on that set, what was really amazing for an actor, especially a young actor, to walk into was the family that Lynch carries through and had carried through his whole career. That crew that was working on that show was all extremely talented and had mostly worked with Lynch for 30 or more years. There was a real understanding between every single member of that crew about how he works, and they all want to be there because they love working with Lynch. It was lovely to walk on set and meet all of those people and immediately feel like you’re part of that legacy, which is a generous thing to encounter as an actor on an established crew. But to meet Lynch, who I had been a massive fan of his work for my entire life, was incredible. People like to say don’t meet your heroes, but for me, this is one time when I was more than happy to meet my hero. He was generous and funny and smart and taught me a lot. He gave me an opportunity that expanded myself not as an actor, but as a person in the world. Everything we shot I was always amazed at how innovative and simple at the same time some things can be. The camera techniques that give you that visceral feel of what it’s like to watch a Lynch project. The effects and the way that they shoot stuff feels like a throwback to old filmmaking. That’s what he’s done with this show — it feels nostalgic and feels ahead of us.

People can’t tell this from our conversation, but you’re Australian and have a lovely accent. Did you model your accent for Richard after anyone or anything in particular?

I didn’t model Richard’s voice off anyone in particular. As an actor, I like to be specific with accent work, and this may sound like a cop-out answer, but when I read his words on the script it came naturally. Richard has a lilting quality to the way he speaks. He wasn’t so much of an American accent, but it was the tone of his voice that I wanted to work out. Coupled with the way he speaks and coupled with what he does, I think that conversation of duality is fun to play with.

What’s the hardest word to say in an American accent?

I can’t speak for every Australian actor, but I think the hardest thing to remember about the American accent is the “r” sound. You have to lean into the “r”s, but then sometimes you get caught up in leaning too much into “r”s and you sound like a Jamaican guy hybrid. [Laughs.] It’s the “r”s that you need to watch out for.

Link (TP)

#Twin Peaks #Eamon Farren #Richard Horne #Vulture

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oumakokichi · 8 years ago

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Do you believe the V3 mastermind was a victim or they are really evil all along?Implying mastermind was brainwashed, I curious if anyone accept them as innocent despite their action.

The thing is, there aren’tany implications that the ringleader was brainwashed. Whether the ringleaderseized control of the game forcibly in order to make a “copycat rendition” ofsomeone else’s killing game, or whether they went up to Team Danganronpa andasked to be made into the ringleader specifically, the implications are stillthat the ringleader was a very deliberate and knowing antagonist who didabsolutely everything willingly, and had funwith it (which is why they’re such a fun character, if you ask me).

I’ll be discussing spoilers for the whole game under thecut, including the ringleader’s identity, so only read if you’re comfortablewith that!

There’s no reason to assume that Tsumugi was brainwashedinto anything she did in ndrv3. The word “brainwashing” certainly comes up afew times in-game, particularly in Chapter 2, but never for anything that hasto do with her. Angie’s art talent is implied to work very similarly to Mitarai’s,and it’s heavily, heavily impliedthat she brainwashes people both on her island and the Religious StudentCouncil into doing what she wants, but that’s about it. And even then, Angie’sbrainwashing is never brought up on as much of a plot-relevant level as Mitarai’s,nor does it seem like it’s infallible, considering Saihara keeps refusing tofall for her gaslighting in her FTEs and prison mode.

But as for Tsumugi, the term never applies to her. There’sno implication of brainwashing or mind control or anything of the sort in herFTEs or her prison mode events; if anything, she’s very obviously pulling thestrings and knows much more about things that are going on with the othercharacters, with Saishuu Academy, and with the killing game. If she wereactually brainwashed or just another poor victim in the midst of the group,that would need to be foreshadowed and clues would need to be presented—consideringthey’re not, I’d say it’s pretty safe to say she does everything of her ownaccord. Tsumugi is a master manipulator, not really one to be manipulatedherself.

I think people still have a mistaken impression that the rememberlights are brainwashing tools the same way that Junko’s and Mitarai’sbrainwashing videos in dr3 were. But that’s not the case. Everything we knowabout the remember lights proves that they work much, much weaker than any ofMitarai’s brainwashing videos.

Tsumugi herself says that once you know how they work, i.e. by implanting false memories into your mind andtriggering a reaction somewhat like déjà vu, that pretty much negates theireffectiveness. Ouma himself is living proof of this; he obviously doubts theremember lights’ credibility right from the start, and as such, is the onlycharacter early on who doesn’t believe that their memories or backstories arereal. Just by doubting that the remember lights are telling the truth, you canmake yourself immune to their effects. Knowing for a fact that the memories on them are fake means never believing asingle thing they implant into your mind.

As the ringleader, Tsumugi was the one responsible forcreating the remember lights used on the other characters. We know very littleabout how the killing game show works, but we do know at least a few of Tsumugi’sprivileges as the ringleader. The first is that she had access to the secretroom in the library, along with the Mother Monokuma which informed her of allthe goings-on in the school and allowed her to directly control Monokuma. Thesecond is that she could use the remember light setup in one of the classroomsto make new remember lights in plain sight, since even if someone walked in onher using it, it was programmed to close up and hide itself the moment someoneelse’s footsteps approached.

Since Tsumugi was the one programming those remember lights,selecting the memories to input into everyone else’s minds, we know then for afact that she definitely knew how those remember lights worked. There’s no wayto assume she could’ve been unknowingly brainwashed into being the ringleaderor set up to take the fall for someone else while also knowing how to use theremember lights herself. It just wouldn’t add up—therefore, we have to assumeshe was doing everything willingly.

I’ve mentioned it before in a few other pieces of meta, butone of the things I like the most about ndrv3 is how much of an element ofchoice and free will there is among the cast and their decisions. Certainly,the remember lights and their implanted backstories can make certain charactersmore likely to do something or to behave in a certain way. It can influencetheir mindsets, particularly when they don’t know how those remember lightswork, and it can really influence their motivations. But there’s always an element of choice.

Any of the characters had the potential at any point in timeto start acting differently from how they were “scripted” to act on the show.Saihara is perhaps the best proof of this: despite being picked by Tsumugi tobe a detective who was “weaker than anyone,” he changes arguably the most outof the entire cast, putting aside his hat as a symbol of his insecurities andfear of exposing the truth by as early as Chapter 2. Every single time Saiharabecame stronger and more capable of handling the truth he was so afraid of,every single time Himiko began facing her emotions head-on and tackling thingsenergetically instead of using her laziness as an excuse, we’re given proofthat the characters can change at any point in time, as long as they reallywant to.

To assume that Tsumugi was “brainwashed” into being theringleader or was “actually innocent all along” is to deny a huge part of hercharacter, and that takes all the fun right out. Who wants a ringleader or amastermind figure that was only actually doing it because they were justanother pawn in someone else’s schemes? Tsumugi is so incredibly fun andinteresting as an antagonist because she definitelythrives on pulling strings and manipulating scenarios from behind the scenes—sheloves to plant little seeds of doubt, sit back, and observe her handiwork, andyou can really tell on a reread.

Trying to delegate her to the role of “brainwashed victim” alsopretty much ignores all the reasons why it’s heavily implied Tsumugi throwsherself into “the world of Danganronpa” and fiction in general so much. Tsumugiisn’t someone manipulated or forced into the bad guy role. Rather, she’ssomeone who asked for it, whether bydirectly asking Team DR to let her be the ringleader on the show or by puttingon a copycat show of her own as the epilogue implies.

She’s a cautionary tale of the dangers of immersing oneselfin fiction too much. Ndrv3’s ending provides much-needed commentary on the waysin which fiction can and does influence the world around us. Tsumugi has thrownherself so far into fiction that she no longer wants to even interact withreality and willingly chooses to view the people around her as little more thanexpendable fictional characters. She, and the people like her (of which thereare implied to be many in the ndrv3 killing game audience), claim thateverything’s okay “because it’s justfiction.” Fiction is “just a lie,” therefore it “can’t influence reality anyway.”

These words are a reflection of her mindset, and provide uswith a little bit of a closer look at how desensitized society must be in ndrv3in order for this killing game to have thrived for 53 seasons. If Tsumugi is avictim of anything, perhaps she’s a victim of the state of society in ndrv3,which is heavily implied to be bleak and boring and horrible enough that thepressure makes people want to live inside “the world of Danganronpa.” But eventhen, that’s by her own choice.

Characters like Saihara are implied to have been just asdesperate to escape from reality, judging by his audition video, and yet he changedhis outlook and his behavior drastically by choice. So we can assume thatTsumugi remains on the outskirts of things, manipulative and uncaring ofeveryone around her while viewing them all as “fiction” because… she wants to.Because she honestly values the entertainment of the killing game more than thelives of the people she’s with—after all, those lives are completely disposable.As she and Monokuma point out several times in the game, there are plenty of people who would step up totake the characters’ places on the show, who would love to be willing substitutes if it meant getting to be a part ofDR.

Tsumugi is fun as a character because her mindset is soabsolutely cold and removed from everyone and everything around her. The factthat she can’t entirely view them all as fictional characters despite wantingto drives her up the wall in Chapter 6, which is why she becomes so desperateto try and crush their spirits and make themaccept the fact that that they’re “nothing more than fictional characters.”

Since we’re never given any indication at all, not in themain story or Tsumugi’s FTEs or bonus mode content, to think that she wasactually just brainwashed into taking the fall for everything, I would say it’shighly unlikely. And if it did turn out to be the case, I would be incrediblydisappointed, since it would take away everything that makes her so enjoyableas an antagonist. Even in the epilogue, Saihara speculates about how muchTsumugi said was the truth and how much was a lie—but he never once speculates thatshe might’ve been a victim just like the rest of them.

I think people’s refusal to acknowledge Tsumugi as her ownantagonist, and a very different kind of antagonist from Junko at that, islargely because people don’t know what to make of her or the unansweredquestions that she left. But people fail to realize that even dr1 hardlyaddressed all the questions or mysteries by the end of the game. The state ofthe outside world and how much of what Junko said was true or not was left in acatbox at the end of dr1 in very much the same way that Tsumugi’s mysteries areleft in the catbox by the end of ndrv3.

It wasn’t until dr0 and sdr2 that Kodaka decided to providemore explanations about Junko’s motivations, her talent and backstory, and whatexactly happened to the dr1 survivors after opening that door. So in the sameway, I think future side materials will shed a lot more light on Tsumugi—after Kodaka’shad his fun teasing players along for a while, at least.

Anyway, this is my take on it! There’s a lot of room for speculationwith Tsumugi and whether she was lying about certain claims or not, but it’s atleast pretty clear from all the evidence in-game that she wasn’t brainwashed,at least. And that’s something I’m grateful for, really. I’ve had more thanenough of brainwashing subplots thanks to dr3. Thanks for asking, anon!

#ndrv3 #drv3 #new danganronpa v3 #tsumugi shirogane #shirogane tsumugi #ndrv3 spoilers //#my meta #okay to reblog #anonymous

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jonasmaurer · 5 years ago

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5 books I’ve read lately and loved

Hi hi friends! How’s the day going? I hope you’re having a lovely morning so far. I’m hopping on the Peloton and recording a podcast interview. The podcast will be back tomorrow! (Be sure you’re subscribed so you can see when I update. One of my new year’s goals is to be more consistent with the podcast.)

For today’s post, I thought I’d share a handful of books I’ve read recently (some I read this month and others are from last summer/fall) that I genuinely enjoyed. I always love your book suggestions, so please let me know if you have any favorites from the past year!

1) Matchmaking for Beginners. This book was in my Kindle app forever, and I finally decided to give it a go. I’ve ended up flying through the pages and really enjoyed it for a lighthearted, captivating read before bed. My friend Danielle describes books like this as “cupcake books” : perfect, sweet, and meant to be indulged.

Here’s the synopsis:

Marnie MacGraw wants an ordinary life—a husband, kids, and a minivan in the suburbs. Now that she’s marrying the man of her dreams, she’s sure this is the life she’ll get. Then Marnie meets Blix Holliday, her fiancé’s irascible matchmaking great-aunt who’s dying, and everything changes—just as Blix told her it would.

This is a great story about how the unexpected can turn out in the most positive way, and that those who turn away love are often the ones who need it most.

2) Everything is Figureoutable. I’m only halfway through this one, but can already tell that it’s going to stick with me. Marie Forleo is one of my very favorites, and I always appreciate how generous she is with her knowledge while keeping it real. I did B-school many years ago and dramatically changed my online business. Her background is fascinating – she led hip hop DVDs after learning to dance in her 30s and worked with Tony Robbins – and I’m always happy to support her and spread the word. It’s a powerful read with inspiration to follow your dreams and take action.

Here’s what her book is about:

While most self-help books offer quick fixes, Everything is Figureoutable will retrain your brain to think more creatively and positively in the face of setbacks. In the words of Cheryl Strayed, it’s “a must-read for anyone who wants to face their fears, fulfill their dreams, and find a better way forward.”

If you’re having trouble solving a problem or reaching a dream, the problem isn’t you. It’s that you haven’t yet installed the one belief that changes everything.

Marie’s mom once told her, “Nothing in life is that complicated. You can do whatever you set your mind to if you roll up your sleeves. Everything is figureoutable.”

Whether you want to leave a dead end job, break an addiction, learn to dance, heal a relationship, or grow a business, Everything is Figureoutable will show you how.

You’ll learn:

• The habit that makes it 42% more likely you’ll achieve your goals.

• How to overcome a lack of time and money.

• How to deal with criticism and imposter syndrome.

It’s more than just a fun phrase to say. It’s a philosophy of relentless optimism. A mindset. A mantra. A conviction.

3) Little Fires Everywhere. I lurk reviews before I decide to commit to a book and the most recent reviews for this book are horrible. There wasn’t really anything else I wanted to read so I decided to go for it. By the end of the first chapter, I couldn’t wait to find out what happened. I’m not a big crime or who-done-it type fan – I like to read before bed so if it surges my adrenaline, I can’t fall asleep – but this had just the right amount of mystery without being too intense.

In Shaker Heights, a placid, progressive suburb of Cleveland, everything is planned—from the layout of the winding roads, to the colors of the houses, to the successful lives its residents will go on to lead. And no one embodies this spirit more than Elena Richardson, whose guiding principle is playing by the rules.

Enter Mia Warren—an enigmatic artist and single mother—who arrives in this idyllic bubble with her teenaged daughter Pearl, and rents a house from the Richardsons. Soon Mia and Pearl become more than tenants: all four Richardson children are drawn to the mother-daughter pair. But Mia carries with her a mysterious past and a disregard for the status quo that threatens to upend this carefully ordered community.

4) The Great Alone.

I’m a huge fan of Kristin Hannah – The Nightingale is likely in the top five of the best books I’ve ever read – and while I didn’t love Firefly Lane, the synopsis for this one caught my eye. The story itself is riveting and I found myself emotional throughout a lot of it. Within her vivid descriptions of Alaska, it’s a beautiful story about resilience and the will to survive.

Here’s what it’s about:

Alaska, 1974. Ernt Allbright came home from the Vietnam War a changed and volatile man. When he loses yet another job, he makes the impulsive decision to move his wife and daughter north where they will live off the grid in America’s last true frontier.

Cora will do anything for the man she loves, even if means following him into the unknown. Thirteen-year-old Leni, caught in the riptide of her parents’ passionate, stormy relationship, has little choice but to go along, daring to hope this new land promises her family a better future. In a wild, remote corner of Alaska, the Allbrights find a fiercely independent community of strong men and even stronger women. The long, sunlit days and the generosity of the locals make up for the newcomers’ lack of preparation and dwindling resources.

But as winter approaches and darkness descends, Ernt’s fragile mental state deteriorates. Soon the perils outside pale in comparison to threats from within. In their small cabin, covered in snow, blanketed in eighteen hours of night, Leni and her mother learn the terrible truth: they are on their own.

5) The Tattooist of Auschwitz.

The book alternated wrapping my heart in a warm embrace and smashing it into a thousand pieces. I rarely finish books quickly because life – I often pluck through them throughout the week- but finished this one in two days. I couldn’t finish it fast enough. It’s hard to believe that amidst the horrors of Auschwitz there was such a beautiful love story. This novel is based on true events and many of the characters are based on real people.

Here’s the synopsis:

In April 1942, Lale Sokolov, a Slovakian Jew, is forcibly transported to the concentration camps at Auschwitz-Birkenau. When his captors discover that he speaks several languages, he is put to work as a Tätowierer (the German word for tattooist), tasked with permanently marking his fellow prisoners.

Imprisoned for over two and a half years, Lale witnesses horrific atrocities and barbarism—but also incredible acts of bravery and compassion. Risking his own life, he uses his privileged position to exchange jewels and money from murdered Jews for food to keep his fellow prisoners alive.

One day in July 1942, Lale, prisoner 32407, comforts a trembling young woman waiting in line to have the number 34902 tattooed onto her arm. Her name is Gita, and in that first encounter, Lale vows to somehow survive the camp and marry her.

A vivid, harrowing, and ultimately hopeful re-creation of Lale Sokolov’s experiences as the man who tattooed the arms of thousands of prisoners with what would become one of the most potent symbols of the Holocaust, The Tattooist of Auschwitz is also a testament to the endurance of love and humanity under the darkest possible conditions.

So, tell me friends: what’s the last incredible book you read? Favorite book of 2019? What are you reading right now?

Gina

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