#but not one person is questioning why she was with this man for years??? unbelievable

[fratboykate]

She’s dating a homophobe so we gotta make Kate/yelena like extra gay. Let’s wife them both up so hard

What's a "Kate"? Don't know it lol

But jokes aside, the fact that y'all continue to support women who keep getting in bed with THE worst men just because you "stan" them is why we're going to get absolutely fucked by those who want us dead or back in the closet. You'll keep being lulled by these folks while the people in power strip our rights piece by piece. Like...that purple album that came out yesterday should've gotten ZERO streams. At least not from anyone who isn't a straigt white conservative. No one with a brain should've talked about it after who that woman has knowingly dated...TWICE. But instead I've seen endless videos of POC and queer people who still swear she's secretly gay hosting listening parties and singing the songs. These celebs know they can do whatever they want and you're going to keep giving them your time, attention, and hard earned money no matter what so, why change or even hide who they really are at this point? It's genuinely a bummer. Y'all are super into "accountability" and bring out the "dragging"/"canceling" energy for the dumbest shit. But when it actually involves your fave??? Nowhere to be found.

[bg-brainrot]

More than Vampiric Charms (Astarion x Tav)

Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav

Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here

Summary: After some banter between Astarion and Jaheira goes too far, you (Tav) take some time to remind Astarion that he is so much more than a pair of fangs.

Tags: POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Comfort, Vampire Spawn Astarion, set in Act 3, Astarion is Bad at Feelings, Blood, Blood Drunk, blood as a coping mechanism

A/N: Thank you to everyone who voted for this banter in my last poll! This was a fun one c:

Word count: ~3.2k

Walking through the streets of Baldur's Gate is always an adventure with your group– a particularly fraught adventure on this day, as Jaheira and Astarion seem hellsbent on trading barbs.

It had started out playfully enough, with a snide remark from Astarion, "Oh that building used to be a delightful little sweets shop about a hundred years ago. Though I suppose the crone would remember that, wouldn’t she?”

Jaheira, used to remarks about her age, often being the one to start them, was ready with a quick quip back, “Was that before or after your hair turned gray? With my old age, I can never remember.”

Astarion visibility bit back a remark about this being his natural hair color when you glared back at both of them. “Could we focus a bit please? You two can reminisce after we’ve seen to this latest bloody basement.”

One trail of blood, a disgusting array of corpses, and a piece of clown later and the two of them were at it again.

“Jaheira,” Astarion had started in a light tone– a clear indicator that he had no intent to focus. “Have you considered taking on the role of Dribbles the clown yourself? The makeup might help cover all those pesky wrinkles.”

The druid had snickered, appreciating the comment, and shot back, “I think you would be better suited to the role, given you are already a fool.”

That time, Karlach had interrupted, “Don’t either of you dare! No one could replace this Baldurian hero.”

“Which is exactly why we’re helping to piece him back together,” you’d confirmed with a nod. “Besides, you’re both cranky enough to make the children weep.”

“Darling!” Astarion had gasped, an offended hand on his chest. “How could you say that about me?”

You’d ignored his question, instead choosing to deposit a quick kiss on his pursed lips. A soft, effective bandaid that left the man with crossed arms and a reluctant smile. 

Moments later, you were ushering the group out of the building and into the city. Insults forgotten, everyone began trudging the familiar path back to the Elfsong to clean up.

Now, along this very path, you hear Jaheira strike up a new conversation with Astarion– one that has your ears perking up, even as you continue to lead the way ahead.

“It seems that you and our leader are closer than ever,” the woman observes, a smile in her voice.

There’s a moment of silence, and you can practically see Astarion’s suspicious expression in your mind’s eye as he assesses the situation. “Yes, you could say that,” he finally replies. “What can I say? I am, after all, quite charming.”

“I am glad it is your non-vampiric charms our friend has fallen for, Astarion.” A short, thoughtful pause follows before she asks, “It is, isn’t it?”

“Of course,” Astarion responds, his voice reaching a comically high pitch– one that almost makes you laugh. You want to hear this conversation more than most though, so not a sound escapes your lips. The vampire scoffs before he continues. "Is it so unbelievable that they would simply like me?"

There’s a clear hesitation as Astarion’s words hang in the air.

You wonder why Jaheira isn’t responding, what her expression must be– but before you can turn around to find out more, Astarion is speaking again.

“If you insist on prying,” he starts, clearing his throat a bit pointedly. “Perhaps you’d care to join us. And see how much we enjoy one another.”

The insinuation in his tone is almost enough to have you spinning around– teasing Karlach or Shadowheart is one thing, but Jaheira? Gods, you can feel the heat rising up your neck– “Why?” Jaheira snaps back. “Do you require some instruction on how the deed is done?”

“I’m sure even I could learn some new tricks from an old veteran such as yourself,” Astarion replies, mirth shining through in his tone.

Wait, is he actually inviting her?

You know you need to stop this conversation before it mortifies you any further. “Stop it, both of you!” you say, turning your head back, trying your best to keep a stern, not-at-all embarrassed expression on your face. “We don’t need the next installment of ‘Love at First Knife’ getting any more convoluted.”

There’s some grumbling from Astarion, an amused smile from Jaheira, and a chortle from Karlach, but otherwise your group makes it back to the Elfsong without tearing each other– or their clothes– apart.

__

That evening, Astarion slips away.

It’s not an unusual occurrence– some days his hunger is harder to ignore than others, on some you hadn’t found nearly enough evil to suck dry. Ultimately, he never wanted to take too much blood from you, so he chooses to forage as he has taken to calling it.

As a result, you think nothing of it at first, settling into bed after dinner with a book propped between your hands. After all, Cazador is dead, and Astarion is more than capable of taking down some of the most fearsome enemies in the city– he should take all the time he needs to himself.

But the hours pass, and Astarion has yet to return. The candles around you begin to dwindle, words begin to swim on a page you haven’t turned in quite some time, and sleep slowly but surely starts to drag your eyelids down.

It has almost claimed you when the door to your shared room at the Elfsong slams shut. You hear groans from around the room as those who were similarly drifting off to bed are shocked awake, everyone expecting yet another unwelcome visitor. You almost don’t have time to react before an armor-clad vampire lands atop of you.

You do react though, instinctively striking at the man with the spine of your book, a loud ‘thwack’ letting you know that your contact was true.

“Oof,” Astarion mutters, now fully splayed across your torso like a stretching cat. “Darling, must you be so violent?”

“Astarion?” you ask, putting down your book, shaking off the beginning throes of sleep as you realize what’s transpired. “Weapons down everyone, it’s Astarion.”

After a few affirmative grumbles from around the room, you turn your attention back to the vampire, “Are you alright? Did you get injured?”

“Mmm,” he murmurs, burying his face in your blanket, and rubbing at the spot where you’d hit him. “Nothing's the matter. Everything is perfectly dandy.”

His words slur though and something seems to be amiss. His movements are fluid, his body weight is completely and utterly relaxed onto you.

Almost as if…

“Are you… drunk?” you haven’t seen him like this since the bear he drank near the grove. When you’d asked him the question then, he’d shrugged it off– but it was certainly the closest to drunk you’d ever seen him.

“Not strictly speaking, no…” he drolls, tilting his head slightly to stare at you with one eye. His cheeks are flushed, a telltale sign of his recent feeding, and his eye is glazed over, its blissful sheen telling you all that you need to know.

“Have a good dinner, did you?” you ask, smiling down at him wearily. You can hardly fault him for indulging, especially after the couple of weeks you’ve had.

He chuckles, his one visible eye crinkling a bit. “Oh yes. A rather large bugbear. Hardly knew what bit him.”

You run a hand through Astarion’s hair, and respond, “Well done, my sweet, bloodthirsty vampire.”

Normally, such sweet words of unabashed ​​flattery would elicit a smile, a laugh, maybe even a kiss– but tonight Astarion freezes under your touch, his eye going wide before he tucks his face back into the bedding.

“Astarion?” you ask, your previous worry about injury now promptly replaced by a worry of a much deeper hurt.

“It’s nothing,” he mutters, voice sounding distant.

You scratch at his scalp, a bit, trying to encourage him back toward you. “Love, you know you’re a terrible liar. What’s wrong?”

He gives a soft, annoyed huff– an endearing, drunken noise were it not for the fact that he seems determined not to look at you. And continue to crush you with the full weight of his body.

“Astarion,” you say again, with a bit more emphasis, shaking his head a little with your next scratch. “If nothing is truly wrong, I will wake up Karlach. You know she would love to see you in this state.” As if to punctuate your point, a snore sounds from a few beds over, where you know the barbarian slumbers.

“Please don’t,” he murmurs, finally turning around to look at you fully.

You’re surprised to see his eyebrows furrowed, his lips turned down in a truly melancholy frown– always an expressive man, it seems that Astarion’s intoxicated demeanor is twice as exaggerated. Cute, you think. But also concerning. “Love,” you whisper, running a hand along his face. “Talk to me.”

Astarion hesitates, his watery eyes wincing as he debates his next words. Those same red eyes show an unexpected amount of vulnerability– all that bugbear blood is keeping his expression open, his entire face a rosy hue. His mouth opens, closes, his body shifts, and he fumbles with the latches on his armor as he thinks. You simply lay there, playing with his curls until he’s ready.

When he finally speaks, his words take you by surprise.

“You don’t just like me because I’m a vampire… do you?”

“What?” you ask, eyebrows raising in disbelief. Surely, you misheard him.

“You know,” he continues, waving a hand about the air. “My vampiric charms. The fangs. The blood sucking. The mysterious allure?”

“Why in the nine hells would you think that?” You reach a hand out to grab his, tugging on it gently to try to get him to sit up.

Astarion’s eyes drift away from you, but he does sit up, legs draping over your stomach. “Just… because of something Jaheira said.”

Oh. The conversation you’d been eavesdropping on.

“Do you mean what she said earlier? On our way back to the Elfsong?” you ask, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Well, yes,” he mutters, still not looking at you. “Though I can’t help but notice you haven’t answered my question…”

“Astarion,” you start, releasing his hand, only to place it on the slightly flushed skin of his cheek. “No, I do not only like you because you’re a vampire.” Your words are firm, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

His eyes meet yours again, and still you can see so much doubt, so much unmitigated fear. “Are you certain? You truly do seem to enjoy it when I bite you.”

“Well, that’s true,” you admit with a small wince. It does feel rather… good when he bites you, it would be a lie to say otherwise and, besides, you’ve told him as much before. “But that’s not why I like you, you fool.”

Astarion’s bottom lip slips into a small pout and he moves away from your hand. “You’re not very convincing, you know? Especially when you call me a fool.”

You scooch out a bit from under him, leaving your legs under his. With all of the severity in the world, you reply, “If it makes you feel better, I’m a fool too.”

“You are?” he asks, curious despite himself– easily falling for your little trap.

“A fool for you.”

The noise that escapes him is half groan, half chuckle, and his mouth pulls into a lopsided little smile that you’re not certain you would have earned were he not a bit blooddrunk. “Gods, how the hells did I fall for you?”

“Now you’re asking the right questions,” you respond with a smirk on your face. When you place a hand on his knee, the smirk turns into a small smile. “But I’m being genuine– I don’t like you because you’re a vampire. And before you ask, I don’t love you because of your vampirism either.”

He gives a small huff. “Well, Jaheira made it sound as if there wasn’t much else to care for.” An uncharacteristic admittance from him– normally he would brush off such a statement with a proud declaration of how phenomenal he is. But it seems that Jaheira’s words cut deep– and that blood has loosened his lips.

“Jaheira, despite all of her many, many years of experience–” you enjoy the full laugh that elicits. “simply doesn’t have my refined taste. There are so many reasons to like you, love. In fact, vampirism doesn’t even make the list.”

“Oh, you’re keeping track, are you?” he asks, folding his arms and body over his legs and smiling up at you.

“Maybe,” you murmur, leaning forward toward him. “Would you like a sampling of reasons?”

The look he gives you then is hopeful, but more than a little dread slips through in his shining red eyes. When he answers, his voice is barely above a whisper. “Only if you mean them.”

This withdrawn, unsure Astarion isn’t a common sight to you, but, like every other facet of the man before you, he’s no less lovable. So you lean forward, placing a kiss on his pale forehead, and say, “I mean them with my whole heart.”

“Then… I suppose I ought to be lavished with them," he murmurs, and you spot the blush intensifying over his cheeks, now also coloring his ears.

Coupled with his fluid, inebriated state, his heart laid bare before you, you want to scream the reasons from the roof of the Elfsong, if only for him to believe you. But, as it is, the soft snores of your companions keep your voice hushed, your face close to his as you begin.

“Let’s see… should I start with the first thing that stood out to me?”

He hums in agreement, and closes his eyes, as if preparing to listen to the sweetest tune known to the entirety of Faerun.

“Well, it started with your first lie, I think,” you start.

Astarion gives a disapproving groan, but doesn’t open his eyes.

“My dear, you said you said you had a ‘brain thing’ cornered– I hope you know the smile on my face wasn’t from confidence,” you say with a new, fond smile at the memory. “I just knew from that moment on, you didn’t much care for what others thought of you, as long as your goals were met. A kindred spirit. Or so you said that day.”

At that, he reopens his eyes. “That’s not true.”

“We’re not kindred spirits?” you ask, an unexpected tinge of hurt blooming in your chest.

“That’s true,” he says, balming the hurt quickly. “It’s not true that I don’t care what others think of me. I do. Well, maybe not everyone.” His eyes dart toward Gale’s bed and you stifle a snicker. “But I certainly care what you think of me.”

You look into his crimson eyes, a bit clearer now than when you began talking– the blood seems to be working its way through his system. His words come from a place of honesty, not a lack of inhibition.

“Then, let me assure you here and now,” you murmur, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. “I think–” Another quick peck on his lips. “you’re the funniest–” A kiss to his nose. “the most deft–” A brush of lips against his temple. “creative, endearing, brave–” Each word comes with a kiss along his jaw. “man I’ve ever met.”

Astarion’s eyes look at you, his face still for a moment as he considers your words. When he finally speaks, it’s a quiet, choked up question, “Oh, is that it?”

“Would you like me to keep going?” you ask, lips perched just above his eyebrow, ready for another round.

He shakes his head ever so slightly. “No– no need or you’ll be here all night, surely,” he says, posturing as best as he can while still looking at you with fearful eyes. Almost as if your candid praise is simply too much for him to bear.

It may be too much, and you’re not one to push it.

“Very well,” you say, pulling back. “But I didn’t even get to how good you look covered in blood…”

The man gives a light laugh at that, some of his nerves melting before praise he understands– his appearance is a source of comfort, one that brings him back to himself. “Oooh yes, I do look dashing in red, don’t I?” he purrs, a content smile forming on his face.

“That you do,” you assure, with your own warm look. You wish he would accept all praise this easily, but you suppose this is all you can do for now.

So little of what matters to you is his vampirism, his looks… but for a man like Astarion, for whom a kind word felt like a double-edged blade for two centuries? Well, you’re reminded that regardless of how many times you may tell him, whether now when he’s a bit fuzzy around the edges or when you’re in your cups, he may never truly believe you.

No matter, you suppose. I’ll simply keep finding new ways to show him how much I care for him…

“So Jaheira was kidding, right?” Astarion asks, sitting up and finally beginning to remove his leathers.

You nod, moving to help him remove his greaves. “Naturally. I thought you’d been enjoying the conversation, actually.”

“I had been,” he replies, thoughtfully. “But the more I remembered how sinfully you shiver under my fangs…”

He’s dodging before you can so much as flick his ear. “Excuse you. Is that any way to treat your most reliable source of sustenance?”

Astarion smirks as he leans away from you in the bed. “Oh darling, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. After all, you can’t help it.”

“Astarion–”

“Ehem!” You hear from somewhere behind you. It’s followed shortly by Shadowheart’s annoyed voice, “Would the two of you please keep it down? Some of us are trying to rest.”

If by ‘rest’ she means ‘reach the end of her copper novel’, then you suppose she’s right. Either way, you whisper back, “Sorry, I was defending my dignity.”

“What dignity?” she murmurs back. “And in case you’re wondering, you’re both utter fools.”

Oh great, she’d heard everything.

“Shadowheart, were you eavesdropping?” Astarion asks, crawling over you to glare at her from the edge of your bed. He’s half-dressed and still somewhat out of sorts, so you just lean back against the pillows and accept your fate.

“Is it really eavesdropping if I can hear it all clearly?” the cleric says, and you hear her book snap shut. “Besides, Astarion, if you really needed someone to reassure you, you should have asked me.”

“You?” he asks, incredulously. “And why should I ask you?”

“Because,” she starts, and you can hear her wicked smile in her tone. “I can confirm without a shadow of a doubt that there’s no such thing as ‘vampiric charm.’ I’ve never felt less charmed in my entire life.”

You can sense Astarion is just about ready to light Shadowheart’s hair on fire, so you tug him back down from the divide. “Thank you for that clarification, Shadowheart,” you call, biting back a laugh. “And I’m starting to realize none of us really have private conversations, do we?”

“No, we do not,” you hear Gale reply from a few beds away.

With that, Astarion gives an exasperated sigh and the two of you finish removing his armor in silence.  When you’re both finally ready for bed and you whisper to him, “Goodnight.” Shadowheart, Gale, and Wyll all respond, “Goodnight!”

[invisiblestringmm]

chapter five

“tell me everything about her.”

a/n: not much to say other than a massive thank you for the support and that I hope you love this chapter as much as I do! 🤍

warnings: slight angst, anxiety attack, language & lots of fluff.

5.638k words

Telling your parents about Lily’s dad being back into your life was harder than you believed it’d be - there were no judgements, of course, but they asked so many questions that you were convinced that the night would never end. It was five years of questions they kept to themselves, but you didn’t have much to say at the moment. You still had to meet Mason and tell him first, which in your opinion, would be the toughest part of it all alongside telling Lily.

Mason Mount.

Your dad’s jaw dropped when he heard the name and he seriously contemplated it to be a prank, but he let go of that theory because Lily definitely looked like Mason. “Except for the nose,” he said. When you left for bed, before shutting the door to your room, you heard your dad mumbling to himself how unbelievable that was as he drank down his scotch - you cringed at the thought of how embarrassing introducing Mason to your dad would be, considering that he was a massive football fan and that Mason played for Chelsea when the old man was wild about Arsenal.

Of course hoping for a quiet night was too much to ask, but you never thought it’d be like that. Still trying to process Mason’s appearance in your dreams, you felt like staring at the ceiling was a lot more interesting than getting out of bed to confront the day like an adult - staying in bed felt a lot more appealing. Hoping no one would come for you, hoping today wasn’t the day yours and your daughter’s life would fully change felt better than anything else you had to do today. Instead of thinking what you’d say to Mason, you decided you’d let it all out as naturally as possible. Concentrate on Lily, on how special she was, on how his life would be extraordinary with her in it because Lily was pure joy in human form.

Concentrate on apologising.

Two soft knocks on your door and that pair of hazel glistening eyes glancing at you with curiosity brought you back from your thoughts. Lily pushed the door with her foot, concentrating on not letting the liquid content in the cup she carefully held spill on her grandma’s carpet. “Good morning mummy,” the way she looked at you, spoke to you, walked to you made your chest clench. Lily was so precious and had no idea that the night before, her daddy watched her dance. She had no idea you’d see him today and tell him about her and how extraordinary she is. “I brought you peppermint tea.”

“Of course you did,” you murmured, sweetness in your voice as you got out of bed and took the cup from her tiny hands and put it on the bedside, placing a kiss on her fingers as you also took her in your arms and went back to bed. “Thank you so much, my love.”

With tiny arms wrapped around your neck, Lily smooched both of your cheeks. “Why can’t you come with us today, mummy?” she pouted, hoping to persuade you to join her at Foxwoods before you had planned.

“Mummy needs to do some adult stuff but I’ll be there before you notice,” you kissed the tip of her nose, hands cupping her face as your thumbs caressed the delicate skin of her cheeks. “But you’ll be a good girl and behave, won’t you?” Lily giggled and nodded, knowing what you implied by it. Christmas was the time of the year that your mum valued the most, so she was everywhere and making sure everything would be absolutely flawless - which meant her Latina nature became a lot more evident than usual and the only person who’d calm her down and bring a smile to her face was Lily.

You two spent a few more moments like that, cuddling in bed, as you updated yourself on the day’s news and sipped the peppermint tea she kindly brought you. The final moments of life being just the two of you against the world, which instantly took you to the day you were still pregnant and felt her moving inside you for the first time - the overwhelming joy and fear of not being a good mum to the child that was growing so strong inside you, it all vanished when you first held Lily in your arms and fed her your milk. That had to be the most magical experience and memory you had of learning to love your daughter.

In the end, motherhood was continually learning. About how to raise her properly so she’d be a decent adult, about how to adore everything about that other human, to be there whenever she needed and for whatever she needed because she was your priority.

As you finished doing her hair, you could only hope that it’d be the same for Mason once he learned to love her too. That’d he have the same level of interest, because this wasn’t about you ending up disappointed anymore - it was about Lily and her anticipations.

Truth is you got a little emotional watching her go with your parents without looking back, you knew you were doing it right every time that happened because it meant that while she still loved you like crazy, your daughter was also independent. It’d be good for her when it was actually time to leave home, but you tried not to focus too much on it. Back to reality, you got two missing calls from Willow, probably wanting to know what were the plans, when you realised that you also had no idea how today’s events would unfold, so you decided to text Mason.

Of course, he lived in the area, it definitely worked well for him since Chelsea’s training ground was in Cobham - what made your brain nearly explode was to see where you two were going when he sent you the location. That was the same café your mum would spend most of her afternoons at, so they probably bumped into each other at some point without knowing that there was a little human that linked them to each other. It only proved once again your whole point about how the wealthy were pretty much all linked by someone they had in common. But the nicest thing about your mum is that she couldn’t care less about the world you grew up in, probably the reason why you were so down to earth - while your dad tripled his fortune working for England’s most wealthy as a lawyer.

Only to add to your tension, you were now on FaceTime with both Willow and Jasmine, freaking out again about what to wear to see Mason in two hours. Your hair and makeup were done, and you had Jaz making fun of you for giving such importance to what you’d wear as if you were going on a date.

“You two just don’t get it,” you huffed, rolling your eyes. “The last time we spent more than 30 minutes together was five years ago and I was a drunk, young mess. Then I was a pregnant mess again, months later, by his door. I was throwing up like, ten times a day!”

Now, you were a mum, and you couldn’t look like a mess if you were going to tell him that you were a mum to his daughter. You had to look fairly decent, and no one would change your mind about that - especially when you took your phone and walked into your mum’s closet for a pair of one of her golden hoop earrings and a watch. Luckily, she didn’t mind sharing.

“Oh my,” you heard Jaz gasping. “Is that a Birkin behind you?”

“Yeah, my dad spoils my mum with bags whenever he needs to persuade her of something,” you chuckled. “Which is quite a lot.”

“Sadly, you don’t have a brother to marry me,” Willow said, pouting. “Give Jaz a tour through your mum’s closet.” Jasmine didn’t notice, but you did - the teasing in your best friend’s voice because you’ve both talked about it before and knew that at some point you’d have fingers pointed at you declaring that it was for the money. That you were a clout chaser, getting pregnant by a young millionaire footballer when you were wealthier. It’d take a few hate messages before they associated your last name to its fame.

After a quick tour and a jaw-dropped Jasmine, still stunned by your mother’s collection of handbags, jewellery, and shoes, you said your goodbyes, blew the girls a kiss, and began to dress up. Informal and basic, but still classy. You definitely had the mum vibe in those jeans, but you also looked your age - most of the time, fully taken by the obligations of maternity, you’d overlook how young you still were and how little time you had to act like someone your age. Clubs weren’t something that often happened in your routine, even if you loved going out to dance. You’d go to bars with work colleagues, and old friends from school, but their lives were so much different from yours. Most of the time you felt distant even from Willow, who although was your best friend, wasn’t a mum.

By the time you were ready to leave the house after snapping a mirror selfie and sending it to Willow, Mason texted you saying he’d be there in 20 minutes and you decided to walk there instead of driving. You wouldn’t be able to focus and fresh air would come in handy, and the café wasn’t distant from your parents’ house.

During the short walk there, your phone buzzed with texts from your dad and Jaz.

Well, if things went bad with Mason, at least your support system was still one of the greatest you’ve ever seen. Letting out a long sigh, you felt the weight of the world on your shoulders when you spotted the cafe right across the street. The only good thing you could think about it now was that it seemed really intimate, not busy at all, that’s probably why he decided on this place.

When you stepped in, you were received by the soothing aroma of coffee and chocolate. It comforted you down but only for a few seconds when your eyes met Mason’s figure - his eyebrows slightly frowned, like he was focused on something that was going on only in his mind, and biting his nails. You stood there, astounded by the fact you’ve seen that same facial expression on your daughter countless times before, until his eyes found yours and the frown gave place to a wide smile and happy eyes.

There was no way you wouldn’t smile back at him, it was contagious.

It took you some courage to make your way to him, and your tension only boosted when Mason greeted you with a hug, his hand ran up and down your back as he breathed in your perfume and, unconsciously, you did the same. But his happiness in seeing you wouldn’t last much longer. You planned to be as sharp as possible instead of dragging the weight of that secret for the rest of the afternoon because that was the reason why you went there in the first place.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked, pulling the chair for you and sitting in front of you right after.

“Chamomile tea, please.”

“Are you nervous?” there was a mischievous smile playing on the corners of his lips, making you shift uncomfortably on the chair. You don’t know why, but you just nodded and got a chuckle as a reply. The whole thing was absolute madness and torture. You could feel that pair of hazel eyes studying you with so much interest, Mason’s entire body language was incredibly easy to read because you could see Lily there, in everything that he did and even in his breathing. ‘Except for the nose,’ like your father said. Except for the nose, Lily was exactly like her father. “Well, I’m a bit nervous too.”

The waiter brought chamomile tea for you, and peppermint for him. You couldn’t hold back a soft smile when this morning’s memories flooded your mind, and as you drank down your tea, you felt like having Lily on your mind would make this easier. Her eyes, the soft pinkish flush on her cheeks, her laugh… Slowly, you felt your hands steadier, your breathing calmer. The priority had to be your daughter and everything she meant for you, all these years where it was just the two of you would be over and her biggest dream would come true.

“Mason, I-”

“Let me begin,” Mason moved his cup aside and now it was him shifting on the chair, clearly uncomfortable and making an effort to find the correct words to say. A sigh parted his lips as he rubbed his eyes. “I’ve been feeling embarrassed for years now, for the way I treated you when you showed up at my door. I wasn’t prepared for a relationship and I didn’t know what to do, nor how to.”

You raised an eyebrow. “A relationship?”

“The way you kept calling, texting… it overwhelmed me a bit,”

“Wait. You assumed I went there to tell you I was in love with you or something?” you raised your voice a little, immediately regretting it when the waiter side-eyed you.

“Weren’t you?”

“I think that stick was a bit too far up your arse,” you muttered, suddenly feeling confident enough to straighten your posture and calmly drink down your tea again. You observed his jaw drop and Mason’s cheeks were so red you could swear he felt them burning.

“Anyway,” he coughed. “I am sorry, deeply and truly. I tried to find you the next day, but I had no idea where you lived and you blocked my number.”

“It doesn’t matter now, Mason. There is a reason why I went to your place, an extremely significant one. A reason that changed my whole life and it would’ve changed yours too if you hadn’t been a complete idiot,” a frustrated sigh parted your lips and it didn’t take long for your eyes to burn with tears. “But in the end, I also need to apologise because I should’ve insisted, and I truly hope you can forgive me someday…”

“What do you mean, Y/n?” His voice was soft yet tinged with a mix of urgency, curiosity, and apprehension.

As you sat across each other, the aroma of peppermint and chamomile mingling in the air, you took a deep breath, heart pounding against your chest. This was it, this was the moment. “There’s something I need to tell you,” you started, voice barely above a whisper, which was making Mason feel as tense as he’d ever been. You could see concern etched on his face. “That night changed everything I thought I knew,” You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. “I went to your house to tell you I was pregnant. We have a daughter.”

The words hung heavy between you, the silence only broken by Mason’s gasp. He stared at you, his eyes wide in shock, the natural flush on his cheeks instantly gone as his face went pale. “A-a daughter?” he repeated, disbelief evident in his voice. You nodded, eyes brimming with tears as you watched his reaction. “A daughter,” Mason repeated, his brows together in a frown as he mumbled it again a couple of times.

“I thought about going back there and forcing you to listen, and I know I should’ve,” you swallowed a sob, forcing yourself to push away all the hurt you felt that day and bringing Lily’s face back to your thoughts. Emotions swirling inside you. “But you shoved me off. I instantly felt like I’d face rejection again and it wasn’t about me anymore… it was about… her.” Your voice trailed off.

“I would never,” Mason reached for your hand across the table, his expression softening. “I wish you would’ve insisted.” He said, his tone gentle yet filled with a mix of hurt and, much to your surprise, understanding. You looked down, unable to meet his gaze when his warm hand gently squeezed yours. “Look at me, please.”

When you looked up, you noticed his eyes glistened with tears. Letting go of his hand, you reached for your phone and realised that the easier way to tell him the rest of the truth was opening his sister’s Instagram and showing him a picture of Lily and Summer that he’d seen before and even left a comment. The frown was there again as he took your phone from you, jaw dropping again, Mason blinked repeatedly. His mind raced, trying to comprehend the magnitude of what was unfolding before him. This was his daughter, the child he never knew he had. Guilt washed over him like a tidal wave, threatening to drown out the cacophony of emotions swirling inside him.

His mind nearly exploded once he finally realised that he met her not long ago and his heart sank as the realisation that he had actually thought how adorable and polite she was, and also extremely thoughtful - it hit him like a ton of bricks. A type of anger he never felt before bubbled up inside him, mingling with hurt and another feeling that was still unknown to him and Mason could not yet describe but was directly tied to that lovely little girl.

Mason’s heart felt heavier by the second as he tried to process the truth - the woman he shared a fleeting connection with kept their daughter hidden from him for years. Confusion blurred his thoughts for a second, he asked himself if his sister knew, and if she did, it only made him feel angrier. Beneath the anger, though, there was indeed a flicker of understanding.

“I couldn’t hide it anymore, and Jaz confronted me after she was in the same room as you and Lil-“

“Lilian Maisie,” he murmured. “You named her after me?”

“She needed you around, somehow.” Your words hung in the air, laden with the weight of missed opportunities and what-ifs.

As he looked deep into your eyes, Mason saw a reflection of his own emotions - uncertainty, regret, but also a glimmer of what could be… hope? Despite the hurt he felt that moment, Mason couldn’t shake the feeling of connection he always felt towards you and he now wondered if it was Lily who tied him to you. Like a force of nature, one he didn’t know existed, always making him think about you and if you were well.

Silence settled over you for longer than you expected, but not once you nor Mason looked away from each other - the weight of revelation started to sink in. Finally, he spoke, his voice filled with emotion. “Tell me everything about her.”

Relief washed over you, tears streaming down your cheeks as you nodded, finally being able to breathe. “Do you think we could go somewhere else, though? Somewhere it could be just us. Maybe your car, I-“ a sob interrupted you but Mason quickly paid for the tea and gripped your hand as you left the café. It was only when you two finally got to his car that you allowed yourself to actually cry, loud sobs making your body shiver. It felt like the weight of the world was no longer on your shoulders.

“Breathe, please,” Mason cupped your face, his thumbs wiping your tears. “Can you breathe with me, Y/n?”

His tone was so gentle you couldn’t believe how well he was treating you when he had to face the fact that you literally hid a child from him for five years. His child. How long would that last, though? How long until things crumbled, once he realised reality and parenthood were not easy to face? That once he accepted this role, his life was no longer his and that everything was about her? Their daughter.

“Better?” He asked, letting go of you when you nodded. Oddly enough, you missed the warmth of his touch. “Think you can tell me more about Lily now?”

Nodding again, you decided to show Mason pictures of her growing up as you shared every little detail about your daughter. How she was the sweetest, and most chubby baby you’ve ever seen; that she was always paying attention to everything and everyone around her, and clapped her chubby hands whenever she liked something. You told Mason that her first word was ‘goal’, and there was a mix of a sob and a giggle parting his lips. You told him that Lily behaved like an adult most of the time, that she loved animals, and that she was always making sure everyone around her was happy.

That her laugh was the sweetest sound in the world, and how her eyes crinkle when she laughed. Just like him.

You told Mason that besides ballet, she also loved football, and you could see pride in his eyes.

You told Mason that she also loved peppermint tea and that it was your thing to share a cup every morning.

Last but not least, you told Mason that he was her biggest dream. That she longed and cried for him almost every night, that her life was nowhere near complete without him in it, and that if he wanted to be in Lily’s life, his life would instantly become better and happier because she loved him more than anything in the world without even knowing who he is. That was the purest form of love he’d have, and the only thing he’d have to give in return was his love.

“I was surprised I didn’t hear from you right after you met her and Willow that day,” you admitted, watching Mason frown again.

“Willow?”

You nodded. “My friend who was with me the night we met.”

“To be honest,” he moved in his seat, cheeks flushed pink. “You were the one who had my attention and I wouldn’t remember her face even if I tried. I think Woody ran into her at some point but-”

“He did?” you interrupted him, not remembering if Willow ever mentioned it to you. Mason just nodded.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“It’s funny, but that day… watching her with Summer, I felt something so weird.” Mason repeatedly and slowly shook his head, a smile playing on his lips, like he couldn’t believe what he was about to say. You could hear your heart pounding against your chest, “Like the world’s entire happiness was right there, in front of me. I remember how I went home thinking ‘Oh wow, what a sweet little girl’ and I couldn’t understand why.”

“Oh, Mason…” the familiar knot on your throat was there again and you nearly forced yourself not to cry again. “I’m so sorry, so sorry-” You were interrupted by his arms around you.

Did he really pull you into a hug? Was he really hiding his face in the crook of your neck, crying like a little kid? Were you really comforting him, right hand up and down his back as he sobbed his heart out?

That wasn’t the reaction you expected, and guilt hit so hard that you could feel how your vision instantly blurred and you finally allowed yourself to cry again. You broke his heart, prived your daughter from living the first 5 years of her life with that man who probably would’ve given her his whole world - and also everything and anything else she wanted him to give her. Like his love, affection, and a big family. You took that from both of them, and you couldn’t help feeling like a monster. So the only thing left to do now was to fix this, beg for everyone’s forgiveness, and work forever to repair the damage you’ve caused.

“Does she know about me?” his voice, barely above a whisper, broke the silence between you. Mason still had his arms tightly wrapped around your body, which was only making things worse for you because how could he still show any sort of affection when you’ve done something so horrible?

You shook your head. “I wanted to see how you’d react before telling her,” you sighed, feeling completely vulnerable and defeated. “I was expecting lots of screaming, maybe you shoving me off again or something like that and telling me to speak to your lawyers.”

Too close for your sanity, Mason pulled from you just enough so he could look you into your eyes. The way his eyes were so red and puffy broke your heart into a million pieces because it was like seeing Lily crying - even the way he kept his brows in a frown, and slightly pouted. “Let’s save the lawyers for when we have to do the bureaucratic part of her getting my name.”

A nod was all you could give him back as you swallowed hard and your heart skipped a beat. You were far too naive thinking lawyers wouldn’t be brought into this, especially with your father being one of the greatest. You shook your head at the thought of Mason trying to take her from you, and even if you felt extremely guilty, you’d be ready to fight for your daughter no matter what or how much it’d cost you - the sudden pain in your chest and how you now desperately tried to catch your breath made Mason let go of you and cup your face again. You tried to look away, but he made you focus on him because he noticed what the word ‘lawyers’ did to you.

“Breathe with me, yeah?” His voice was calm, there was so much patience in every little gesture he offered you, that it wasn't hard to feel your heart and breathing going back to its normal pace. “I’m not taking Lily from you, ever. I promise.”

“You have every right to but I want yo-,“

“Y/n, don’t.” Mason interrupted you, and for a moment you felt like he could read your mind and soul by how deeply that man looked at you. “I would never, ever do that. She’s ours and we’re gonna find a way to make this work, let’s focus on her now, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay, but we can arrange a DNA test if it makes you more comfortable.”

“Do you have any doubts that she’s mine?”

“Gosh, no! She’s all you, Mason.”

For a moment, you could swear there was a glimpse of pride sparkling in his eyes. Mason took a long and deep breath and, much to your disappointment, let go of you. You watched him run both hands on his face, and stay silent for a few seconds. He was definitely lost in his thoughts, and once again you knew that because that was the same facial expression you’ve seen on Lily’s face multiple times.

“But I think it’ll be necessary, at some point. We can think about it later, let’s just focus on her and make sure she’s safe and-,” Mason stopped talking when he noticed a smile curving the sides of your lips. That’s what, deep down, you hoped for. Him putting her as a priority. “What?”

“You probably didn’t realise yet, but you’re behaving like a dad.”

That was when reality hit him again, like a slap in the face. Mason was a dad, and his life wasn’t just his anymore - there was a little human who loved him unconditionally without even knowing who he was, who waited and cried for him on countless nights, who hoped he’d show up for birthdays and important events such as a ballet recital. Mason was there the night before, watching his daughter without even knowing she was his. It hurt, but it also made him feel oddly happy.

Suddenly, he felt the impulse to wrap his arms around her slight figure and protect her from everything and everyone. Mason couldn’t understand why and how that feeling took power overer him so quickly, but now he understood why he always felt like part of him was missing. Lily was the missing piece.

“I didn’t want to leave you yet,” He started, your heart skipping a beat at his words. “I’d like to tell my family today, so you can do the same and we can set up a day with just the three of us.”

“She’s the only one left to tell now, but yes,” You nodded. “She’ll want to see you as soon as possible, I can already visualise her going wild thinking about what to wear. There’s just one thing…”

“What?”

“She’s not here now, my parents took her to the Cotswolds for Christmas and I’m supposed to meet them there. I can bring her back or you can meet us there…?”

Mason scratched his head, a sheepish smile on his lips. “I wouldn’t want to crash your family’s Christmas.”

“It wouldn’t be,” Unconsciously, you reached for his hand, watching how he instantly intertwined his pinky with yours in what was the most precious and delicate gesture he’s shown. You felt your cheeks burning under his gaze. “You’re her dad, that alone already makes you part of the family.”

Mason’s lips parted in a wide smile at your words, he unhurriedly nodded, his pinky playing with yours. You two shared a giggle and you watched him sigh before saying anything. “I don’t really want to think about the after, my brother having to do damage control because of the media. I want to enjoy this moment to meet her, what she’s like…”

“Yes, and you can come stay with us if you’d like to. There’s lots of space there, even if your family would like to join us,”

“Let me take you home now, and we’ll settle on what to do, yeah?” Mason gently squeezed your hand before letting you go, again, much to your dismay.

It stunned every inch of your heart and soul the way he responded to the news, almost as if deep down he already saw it coming. As you guided him to your parents’ house, your mind was working on how to tell Lily that she was finally meeting her daddy and that he couldn’t wait to see her - finally, she’d get one of the things she wanted the most for Christmas. You couldn’t avoid the feeling that it was all too perfect, though. That, at some point, something bad would happen and you feared for Lily's protection, understanding how exposed she’d be once the media was aware that golden boy Mason Mount is a father to a five-year-old girl who’s been entirely hidden from the limelight. You feared curious eyes and potentially evil words directed at her, to you, to your family. But, right now, it was about allowing Lily to finally have her daddy all to herself.

When Mason pulled over the car, you noticed how his jaw slightly dropped and how he bent his body to take a proper look at the house.

“What? Not what you expected?” You teased, lifting an eyebrow at him and watching how his cheeks immediately got pink. “At least no one can say it was about money, huh?”

“I’d fight whoever said it was,” Mason murmured. “But definitely not what I expected. Is that a fucking Arsenal flag or am I delusional?” You watched Mason’s eyes widen, and a loud laugh filled the car with pure bliss. That was the first moment you allowed yourself to relax and laugh. “Are you a Gunner?”

“Fucking hell, no! My dad is,” A single tear rolled down your cheek, as you recovered from the sudden wave of euphoria that caused you to laugh so hard. “He wasn’t happy to know that a Chelsea player knocked up his daughter.”

“Oh man, this is going to be fun!” Mason punched the air and then helped you with the seatbelt before getting out of the car to open the door for you. You muttered a ‘thank you’, stopping in front of him as you searched for the keys in your bag. “Can you send me pretty much everything you have of Lily? Photos, videos… I’d like to show my parents.”

“Of course, Mason,” With both hands in your coat’s pockets, you scanned him for a few seconds and, finally, gathered some courage to step forward and give his cheek a delicate kiss. “I’ll accept your follow request too, and we’ll sort things out so you can meet her, okay?”

He nodded, cheerfully, like a child having the best Christmas morning in the world. When you were about to turn and head home, he pulled you again and embraced you as tight as he possibly could.

“Do you believe she’ll like me?” Uncertainty was so clear in his voice that you felt your chest clench.

“She loves you, Mason. Lily loves you unconditionally,”

Watching him go was different this time because you knew Mason wasn’t going anywhere ever again. He’d stay, you knew that with your whole being - the thing is that if he was going to be there all the time, you’d have to find again to set boundaries between the two of you or things could end up badly. And it couldn’t, not if it involved Lily’s happiness and well-being.

You’d get along with Mason, and spend time with him so Lily would understand and live life with her parents around, but allowing yourself to have feelings for that insanely gorgeous was out of the question, even if you had no idea how to avoid it when he kept being so touchy and so lovely, much to your frustration.

In the end, it seemed that Mason would become an issue, but to your heart.

****

BONUS:

next chapter

[lau219]

Summaries for Current Kinktober Lineup

🎃🤍🔥🎃🤍🔥🎃🤍🔥🎃🤍🔥🎃🤍🔥🎃🤍

🔥🤍🎃🔥🤍🎃🔥🤍🎃🔥🤍🎃🔥🤍🎃🔥🤍

🔥 Completion of Every Inch of You — Tommy finally acts on his long-time desire for Y/N, completely surprising her and showing her that not only can the right man make sex amazing, but that a real man not only admires a woman’s curves, but thoroughly enjoys them.

🎃 Cillian Murphy x Reader — Cillian is all for charity, but not for the pointless soirées that go with it. But when the charity he’s most tied to throws a gala, he’s expected to be there. Ordinarily, he finds any theme or gimmick incredibly stupid, but this particular event’s masquerade theme means at least he can disappear among the other attendees and not be hounded. When he meets an elegant, beautiful stranger with an adventurous side, he seizes the opportunity to finally enjoy one of these events.

🤍 Jonathan Crane x Reader — Y/N has been Jonathan Crane’s research assistant for a year now, and despite his extremely stoic and clinical demeanor, she has a hopeless crush on him. But she also wants badly to impress him, and she’s constantly striving to be the ideal assistant. Little does she know that Jonathan has spent the last year carefully assessing and analyzing her, not only because he’s secretly wanted her all along, but also to learn her desires and the ins and outs of exactly how to make her fall apart for him.

🔥 Jackson Rippner x Reader — Even the bad guys have to eat, right? And the local diner is where Jackson goes for a bite at least twice a week. Of course, the beautiful yet feisty waitress who always ends up being stuck serving him has nothing to do with his frequenting there, right? Fed up with Jackson’s sexist, arrogant attitude and asshole remarks, Y/N always tries to get him out of her diner as fast as possible, despite the fact that he’s the sexiest man she’s ever laid eyes on. This toxic back and forth comes to a head when Y/N finally pushes Jackson a little too far, and he has to teach her a lesson and show her just how much of a mistake it is to test him.

🎃 Tom Buckley x Reader — How can such an insanely hot man seem to have no personality and no interests in anything other than his work? That’s the question Y/N wonders on a daily basis about Tom Buckley, her professor’s TA and colleague. But when Dr. Matheson recruits Y/N to help with a new project due to her incredibly impressive performance in class, she and Tom are suddenly spending a lot of time together outside of class. Is there more to Tom than Y/N thought? Maybe there’s a personality behind those gorgeous blue eyes after all, and perhaps Tom’s prior behavior was simply how he’s kept himself in check, and not because he hasn’t noticed this star student.

🤍 Cillian Murphy x Reader — The theater has a different energy all its own, which is why Cillian is so passionate about it, always returning when the opportunity presents itself. With the latest invitation to perform as the lead actor in a new show filled with heavy drama and romance, the actor is surprised to learn that his female co-star is very fresh, not expecting a new actress to be able to take on such weight. But besides being unbelievably impressed with her sophistication and acting abilities, Cillian also can’t stop wishing that every romantic scene between them was happening in real life. But since Y/N has followed and admired Cillian for years as she made her own way in the acting world, the fondness is definitely mutual. Not to mention the fact that she nearly melts every time he touches her. Upon the wrap of closing night, will restraint and professionalism finally give way to desire and passion?

🔥 Modern Tommy Shelby x Reader — Tommy always calls the shots; it’s the only way he knows how to operate, and that includes in the bedroom. But outside the bedroom, Y/N needs to remember that Tommy still controls her. After several busy weeks with no sex between them due to crazy schedules and commitments, Tommy decides that tonight, the foreplay is going to begin before they even make it back home. Due to her recent slip in attitude and getting sassy with Tommy, Y/N is going to quickly be reminded that she’s completely at Tommy’s mercy (or lack thereof), and he has an intimate little gift for her to remind her of just that fact.

🎃 Jonathan Crane x Reader — If there’s anything Dr. Jonathan Crane despises, it’s a whiny patient. Yes, we all have problems, trauma, and fears, but rather than complain, he believes the best treatment is addressing those fears and facing them head on. So when he has yet another draining session with Y/N, his beautiful yet whiny therapy patient, he decides that the best way to finally make progress and address her fear of pregnancy and childbirth is to do some very personal exposure therapy.

🤍 Tommy Shelby x Reader — Lingerie mood boards and Tommy head canon on exactly what seeing you in lingerie does to him, and how he responds.

🔥 Jonathan Crane x Reader — Drs. Jonathan Crane and Y/F/N Y/L/N have been colleagues for over a year now, and it’s very much a love/hate relationship. Although title-wise, they’re equals, Jonathan seems to always think he’s in charge, and he enjoys bossing Y/N around. Fed up with his attitude during their latest collaboration, Y/N decides to teach Jonathan a lesson. When he instructs her to see how patients react to a new drug, she slips it to him instead, and a shift in control occurs that Jonathan was not expecting.

🎃 Modern Tommy Shelby — It’s a particularly busy time at work for Tommy lately, and much to both he and Y/N’s dislike, he hasn’t been home much, let alone had time for any intimacy. Seeing as they typically never go more than a day without sex, Y/N is feeling very deprived for her man. When he yet again isn’t home when he promises he would be, Y/N decides that a little distraction for Tommy is needed. But she’s thrown for a loop when Tommy’s attention doesn’t stray from his work and his tolerance for cockwarming lasts much longer than she anticipated. What is she gonna do now?

🤍 Modern Tommy Shelby — If Tommy could have you walking around topless 24/7 for him, he would. Of course, he adores ALL of you, but your breasts are a distracting favorite of his. When you meet him at a fancy event being held for some of his work colleagues, he’s thrown to see you wearing a dress that shows more of your chest than he wants any other man to see. How dare you put on display his two favorite features of yours that are meant to be for his eyes only?

@nyxxie-pooh @xsweetcatastrophe @allie131313 @betty21rose @febris-amatoria

@hannibellector @fairytale07 @meister95 @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree @beastofburdenxo

@runnning-outof-time @aphroditeslover11 @galactict3a @natalie--rushman @wild-rose-35

@judig92 @cillmurphyslover @ladyvenera @karah-bear @k1ng-l3on

@ceirinen @peskybinders @fuseburner @shaddixlife @neonpurplestars89-blog

@garrison-girl-08 @devotedlyshadowytheorist @emotionalcadaver @muhahaha303 @mostly-marvel-musings

@darklydeliciousdesires @mamawiggers1980 @honeymoon8 @novashelby @wonderlanddreamer

@cardan-official @fmo166 @vastcapacity @mspookington-blog @teawonderfultea-blog1

@shopgirl6us @fkmarrycill @mrs-bond @sl-newsie @lyarr24

@cillianbabe @vervainandspritz @pkmonka @myers-meadow

[we-stan-cale]

I want to hear about your favorite moments in TCF.

I have a long list, but I'll start with one that I don't hear people talk about much - Cale's conversation with Lock and Raon the night before the battle at the gorge.

First, I absolutely love how Cale handled Lock here. Lock is feeling like a failure, guilty, a coward - a whole bunch of negative things because he's no longer able to use his berserk transformation, and he thinks it's because he's afraid.

Cale - acts normal. It's hard to describe what that means, or why it matters. He just doesn't make a big deal out of it. Not like he's dismissing Lock's fears, but also not like he thinks Lock needs to be reassured.

This is right after Lock told Cale he couldn't go berserk. Rosalyn is also there, and the 'she' it starts with.

She heard a quiet voice at that moment. Pat. “Why is a young boy like you so skinny?” Rosalyn could see Cale pat Lock on the back before heading toward the tent entrance. Cale opened up the flap in order to exit as he looked toward Lock. “Let’s go.”

Cale just... Doesn't respond to the fear, but does show care and concern. And just treats Lock like normal (except in this case that's not really normal).

He then basically gets Lock to focus on the here and now, so Lock won't go into that headspace where he keeps feeling like he's a failure. He's preventing Lock from spiraling as he keeps thinking about what a failure he is.

Cale started to speak as soon as the young boy stopped right in front of him. “Focus on my back. Follow behind me and don’t think about anything else.”

And then he invites Lock to dinner. Just Lock, Raon, and Cale. Cale lets Lock talk, and then said something I absolutely love:

Lock’s mumblings stopped as soon as Cale asked a question. “Would you throw me away if I was weak?” “What-” Something like that was unbelievable. Lock throw Cale away? Lock’s eyes opened wide in shock as Cale smiled back at him. “Lock, you wouldn’t, right?” Cale picked his fork back up. “So, don’t ask something so obvious. Just eat.”

I love my progression fantasy, but the protagonists in those stories almost always have the same solution for every problem - get stronger.

To hear the protagonist say something like this is just so refreshing. Like - your worth is not tied up with being strong. You are a worthwhile person even if you can't destroy a wall with one punch. You wouldn't throw away someone else just because they were weak, so why are you being so hard on yourself?

And Raon hearing this leads into the final part, the conversation they have as they prepare for bed.

“By the way, human.” “What is it?” Cale made eye contact with the six-years-old Dragon who stopped connecting the device and looked toward him. Raon looked at Cale and asked. “I cannot go through my first growth phase. Is that okay?” ...

“Didn’t I answer that last time? Don’t ask me something so obvious.” “…Is it okay if I am weak?”

...

“Raon, although I am weaker than you, I’ve lived at least thirty, no, fifteen years more than you. But I am still weaker than you. I am not even as strong as you front paw. Is that a problem?” Cale realized his mistake and quickly changed the years before looking at Raon. “It is not a problem at all.”

There's more, but I've already copied enough so if you want to read the rest you should just go check that chapter out.

The thing here is that Raon, who was supposed to go through his first growth phase, couldn't. It now looks like he was afraid of how weak and vulnerable he would be during that.

And Cale, dense though he can be, perfectly reassures Raon.

Now if only that lovely, dense and yet wise man could treat himself with a fraction of the consideration he shows everyone else.

[mattyriddlegf]

The Stupid Closet (13)

SURPRISEEEE double release! thank you so much for 100 followers, it means so much more to me than you guys will ever know!

I love you all sm <3

-----------

Your gaze lingers on Mattheo, looking at his bone structure. His perfectly sharp jawline and his pink lips and his long eyelashes.

“You didn’t have to follow me up here.” 

Mattheo over to you, seeing you staring, “yeah I did” the wind had stopped blowing so your hair was a mess, Mattheo tucks a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Can I ask you a question?” You look over at him.

“Sure.” He nods.

“When did you know you were in love with me?” You ask, emphasizing the L word.

Mattheo smirks, clenching his jaw and he turns away. He looks back to you, “do I have to?”

“Yes!” You push his chest lightly. 

“Ok fine.” He pauses for a second before continuing, “last spring I saw you at the edge of the black lake alone and you just looked so…calm. You were just sitting with a book watching the sunset and I thought ‘wow she’s beautiful’.” He explains.

You furrow your eyebrows in disbelief, “ Why didn’t you tell me last year?”

“It was a couple days after I walked in on you and Theo and I didn’t want to let myself believe there was anything there. I thought maybe that it was just physical attraction but…I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was consuming me all summer.” 

“You are unbelievable.” You say as you lean into his side, “you’re just a big softie, you know that?”

“Don’t tell anybody, I’ll have to kill you.” Mattheo mentions, his eyes widening. He was obviously joking, making you laugh.

“I won’t…on one condition.” You suggest.

“What’s that?” 

“You tell Melanie to fuck off…” you say before you lean forward and kiss Mattheo.

“Who’s Melanie?” He asks as he smiles into the kiss.

The air is silent for only a moment before Mattheo speaks up.

“I’ve never told anyone I loved them before” He says, clearly a little nervous.

“Wait seriously? Never?” You ask.

“Look I might’ve slept around a bit but it’s never really been anything more than that.” He explains.

“Mattheo Riddle is in love for the first time ever?” You tease him.

“Alright, that’s enough” He says trying to cover your mouth to stop you from talking.

You take his hands off, holding them before you continue, “ Oh you’re never gonna hear the end of it, somehow my arch nemesis fell in love with me. Are you sure you’re in love with me?”

“If you keep going, I might not be,” Mattheo said, trying to act annoyed but laughing instead.

You both break out in laughter. 

“I’m honored” you place your hand over your heart. You look at him and he’s staring back at you with those big doe eyes.

“Stop that.” You say, rolling your eyes.

“No.” Mattheo chuckles.

You look down at his nose, noticing a faint cut going across it. You place your hand on his cheek and rub your thumb over the cut.

Mattheo leans into your hand.

“What is this from?” You ask quietly.

“Quidditch.” He responds.

Your finger lingers there for a second before your hand moves to the back of his neck.

“Why do you not play-” you start to ask.

“So I was right the whole time?” You look to see Draco standing there. You take your hand off of Mattheo and you both stand up.

“Draco I’ll talk to you later…” you say, walking up to him.

“No. I want to hear it from both of you.” He stands still.

You turn around to look at Mattheo.

“I’m in love with her man.” Mattheo speaks up. You smile fondly; you weren’t expecting him to profess his love for you to someone else.

“In love? When has Mattheo riddle ever been in love? Especially with the person he hates.”

“I don’t need to explain myself to you.” Mattheo steps forward, “I love her.”

Draco turns to you, “and?”

“And I’m done with Theo.” You respond, “Draco you have to know that this isn’t a joke.”

He looks between the two of you a couple times before speaking up, “Took you long enough.”

You look at him, confused.

“We all saw that kiss at that first party…Theo might be dull enough to ignore it but the rest of us knew that it wasn’t just for the game.”

You hadn’t wanted to admit it, but they were right. That kiss started everything.

“Just don’t be gross, yeah?” he asks.

“Of course” you smile before grabbing Mattheo’s hand behind you, dragging him down the stairs, “byeee Draco!”

As you walk back to the slytherin house, you can’t help but laugh.

You walk next to Mattheo until you hear a professor walking the halls. Since it’s after curfew, you grab Mattheo and hide in an empty classroom.

You shut the door behind you and Mattheo pulls you up to him, your bodies touching.

You crash your lips onto his as you step forward, him walking back until he hits a desk. When he sits back on the desk, a book falls off, making a thud.

You both cover your mouths, trying to be quiet, careful not to get caught. You stay like that for a few moments before Mattheo walks to the door, you walking behind him, holding his hand. 

He opens the door and looks both ways, making sure the coast is clear before you guys continue to walk through the halls back to the Slytherin house. 

Once you get inside, you stop. There were a few 2nd and 3rd years in the common room but it was otherwise empty. 

“I’m gonna break it off with Theo permanently tomorrow. I’m sorry it took me this long.” You say, still holding his hand.

“Stop apologizing.” Mattheo insists.

He lets go of your hand and wraps his arms around you, kissing you one more time, this time it was passionately.

You back away, “what was that for?”

“No reason.” Mattheo smirks. His hands find their way to your ass but you wiggle out of his hold.

“Hey now! Patience.” You say. You kiss him on the cheek before heading up to your dorm.

Once you get inside your dorm, you shut the door behind you and stand against it. Pansy looks over to you, seeing you smile.

“Ok, who caused this?” She asks excitedly.

“Well…” you start.

“I know it’s not Theo so don’t try to bullshit with me.” She responds, sitting up on the edge of her bed, waiting for your response.

“Uhm…Mattheo.” You say quietly, looking up at her.

She tilts her head, “wait really?”

You nod your head, not saying anything.

“I’ve never told you because I figured you’d be mad but the chemistry between you two all these years? Undeniable.” She pauses, “have you slept with him?”

“Pansy I’m gonna tell you something but you can’t tell anyone.” You walk over and sit next to her. She crosses her heart before you continue, “he says he’s in love with me. Like head over heels.”

“The only thing Mattheo riddle has ever been in love with is his cigarettes and alcohol…” she furrowed her eyebrows, “do you think he’s serious?”

“I do…” you start fiddling with your rings, “and I might feel the same way. I haven’t told him but…I want to so badly. I never thought I could feel this way.” You can’t help but smile.

“I’ve never seen you look like this…” she smiles back to you, “just be careful, okay? Mattheo isn’t known for being a cozy, lovey boyfriend.”

“I know…” you trail off.

“Look, I’m not saying don’t go for it. Just…I don’t want to see you get hurt. And I know Draco doesn’t either.” She adds.

You smile lightly before patting her knee and going into the bathroom. You hop in the shower and as you stand under the water, you think about Theo.

You really did like him and you felt terrible about what was happening but it had been very clear for a while now that Theo wasn’t the one you were meant to be with. You knew he was already pissed at you but hopefully he’d find a way to forgive you guys…more so Mattheo than you. You could live with Theo hating you for the rest of time but Mattheo was his best friend and they needed each other…whether they want to admit it or not.

taglist: @helendeath @mayamonroem @princessluvssleep @hatakemrs @feistyfox47 @malydiavsss @schaebickel @swamp-box

[nqmonarch]

Valentines Day w/ HSR Characters!

Doing Calc homework and am very stressed, i can feel it everywhere in my body. the math is just not mathing mentally today (i looked at trigonometric identities today so maybe thats why)

Just writing out some messy ideas to take a break

Btw if u sent in a request and I haven't answered it yet I am working on it thank you for your uh question ask thingy i appreciate it, i like to know what people like to read bcus tbh i like to write anything altho jingyuan gets like +10 points cus he fluffy

Valentines Day With Some HSR Characters (Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng, Stelle)

Jing Yuan

Jing Yuan is old school romantic. You cannot tell me he wouldn't arrive home with a big bouquet of roses (does HSR even have roses?) and 20 other gifts, including but not limiting to boxes of chocolate, teddy bears, and at least one gag gift. There's gotta be at least one, he'd make a dad joke out of it too.

Then he'd reserve one of the best restaurants on the Luofu and bring you there. He'd probably have booked a private room, thank goodness because no one wants to hear the general continuously compliment you until you're a puddle on the floor. What he is best at is attacks. But if he gets a compliment in return he'll freeze up for a moment before playfully returning it.

Jing Yuan doesn't put on his normal coy facade today, instead he just embraces how much he loves you because he's happy to still have you in his life.

Blade

Blade does not know it's Valentine's Day. It's not his fault, cut him some slack. Anyway Kafka probably reminds him that it's Valentine's Day about half way through the day to which he goes into a silent panic. You can't tell he's panicking he's just staring at the wall with a blank face, he actually looks like he wants to murder someone.

The two of you end up celebrating though! He... pulls something together, it really is something. Sure he smells like blood and the waiters are scared, and taking over this restaurant for a Valentine's Day dinner was definitely not in the script but... It could be worse. He's trying his best, really.

Afterwards you and Blade share lots of cuddles! Something he's pretty good at! Holding you just tight enough, and keeping you close to his side-- you just won't be able to get up if you want to get water or anything. He doesn't say too much but you can feel the love in each caress.

Dan Heng

Dan Heng doesn't really like going out, why would he when all he needs is right by his side? So the two of you stay on the express in the archives. What matters isn't where you are but the company. He'd probably get you a few trinkets from different places he's collected over the years, a necklace, a sick looking compass, whatever fits your vibe.

Dan Heng would probably also write you a love poem, and make you read it or awkwardly recite it in front of you. If you read it out loud though he will get unbelievably embarrassed and snatch it away from you. He'd give it back but he'd take some coaxing, be nice okay? His face is already red.

Then when the night draws to a close the two of you would curl up together on that sorry excuse of what he calls a bed. The majority of your body would be on Dan Heng's using him as a pillow, and his arms would be wrapped around your body keeping you still and warm.

Dan Heng's bed is not it man. Personally, I'd get back problems.

Stelle

"You are the one who deserves the golden trash the most," Truly romantic words from Stelle as she hands you a golden trashbag. That is just the first of the gifts she gives you tonight, and the one that's most valuable to her. It's the thought that counts right? You still have no idea what she's talking about when she mentions fighting Sampo as a trashcan...

The two of you spend a romantic night together, walking down the quiet streets of Belobog, and-- did Stelle just investigate a trashcan again? You should be used to this. On the bright side, every time she gets something cool she comes up to you with the biggest smile on her face, it's beyond adorable. Sometimes the trashcans even have good stuff, like a scarf Stelle lets you wear that thankfully doesn't smell like trash.

It's just good to spend time with the person you love. She spends her time catching you up on everything new from her adventures, and when it's too cold to stay out any longer the two of you head to the Astral Express. Where you shower together and then doze off on one of the Express' couch cushions while playing games. Your head rests against Stelle's reminding you, you're never alone.

Okay I need to get back to homework, fun break thanks guys. Imagine being alone on Valentines Day couldn't be me, I have my Calc Homework. It told me I was integral to it <3 legit peak partner material.

[bumblebeehug]

In The Heat Of The Moment

Summary: An answer to an interview is the straw that breaks the camel's, or in this case, Lucy's back. She has never been this angry with Natsu before - and he's never been this angry with her.

Warnings: No explicit content, but lots of swearing.

Notes: Sorry if this is a bit OOC lol, I got itchy fingers last year and wrote 90% of this fic in one go with no prior planning. Only got back to it now, but hey! It's finished!

Ao3

***

Lucy was so unbelievably fed up with Natsu. Even looking at him had her filled with an indescribable rage, practically making her fume. That stupid, idiot man! She had never felt this anger before, not even against a tough enemy she was facing during extra hard missions. No, no words could describe the resentment she felt towards Natsu, not even coming from her, a proper writer.

“You just don’t get it Natsu! God, can you please try to use that non-existent brain for once?” She yelled in despair, tears welling over in her eyes from the heartbreaking frustration building in her heart.

“No, I don’t get it Lucy! For fuck’s sake, why do you have to be such a pedantic bitch?” His big hand grabbed her collar, making it tighten up significantly.

Lucy wasn’t scared, she told herself, because being scared of the person she hated the most was not only unbelievably embarrassing, but also just way below her standards. So she fiercely bit down on her lip, partly to make the tears stop flooding, partly to throw the fire dragon slayer off guard.

Natsu’s usually kind onyx eyes looked like angry storms, showing her the most spiteful stare she had gotten in a very long time.

“Maybe I’m a pedantic bitch because I’ve always had to balance out your disgusting childish personality all the fucking time. Do you have any idea of what a menace you are, not only to me or this guild, but to society?” She hissed, no longer holding back the anger she felt. Natsu, out of everyone, was the last person she wanted to hear those comments from, because frankly - he was no better than her in this matter.

Natsu pursed his lips. He had never seen Lucy this upset, and frankly, he hadn’t felt this upset since, well, Igneel left him in the woods as a kid. It had all started a few weeks ago, when he had been interviewed for a double paged article in Sorcerer's Weekly. He had gotten the usual questions, except two or three out of the ordinary. He was asked about random things, like his favourite restaurant and his best picnic spot - all manageable questions, until it came to the last one.

“Why did you leave the guild before it disbanded?” Jason asked, his lock of hair wiggling in the wind. Natsu of course answered with the usual - he wanted to get stronger for the guild after dealing with Igneel’s death. Only, this time he was asked a follow up question.

“Did you ever worry about anyone while you were away? Anyone particularly?”

“Well…” He had answered, “I suppose I was a bit worried about my team, but in general I was worried about everyone. I think out of all of the guildmates I might be the most fired up to protect everyone. There’s no telling what type of trouble could come to Fairy Tail you know.” That sentence wasn’t the problem though. It was the one that came after that. “I told Lucy to tell everyone hi as I left, but she probably didn’t manage to do that since she let the guild disband.” An innocent sentence according to Natsu. He had just commented on the letter he had given her, and provided a clue on what he had written in it - nothing more, nothing less, right?

The rest of the day was quite peaceful, not even any guild brawls starting up in the evening. It could probably be described as the calm before the storm, he learned the following day.

“You told him I let the guild disband!?” Lucy yelled as she entered the guild by slamming up the doors.

It was still quite early in the morning, though a lot of members came in early on Thursdays, hoping to grab quick high paying jobs before the weekend. Every step Lucy took was loud as she stomped to the bar where Natsu sat and the guild got quiet enough for anyone to hear a pin drop. Lucy waved the copy of the magazine in front of her before slamming it down in front of Natsu, disrupting his otherwise quite calm breakfast.

“That you were worried about the protection of the guild, when you ran off with nothing but a letter!?”

“What- what are you talking about?” Natsu asked, confused over the sudden accusation - coming from his best friend nonetheless!

“I’m talking about the interview from yesterday! What on earth made you say something like that?” Lucy took a small step back and crossed her arms. Partly to calm herself from the initial shock, but also partly to hide the betrayal she felt.

Telling Jason, and the entire continent for that matter, that Lucy didn’t succeed at contacting their friends in the guild because she let it disband? It felt like a shot in the heart, because she really didn’t think Natsu would ever say such a thing. She was afraid of it, but she told herself she was being paranoid due to her issues with abandonment. Now she was watching her biggest fears come true and she felt conflicted whether she was meant to be furious or depressed over it.

Natsu stood up from his seat and tried putting his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to soothe her. Not pleased with his half-assed apology, Lucy immediately shook him off.

“I don’t know what to say… I didn’t think he would write it down so literally I guess?”

He still didn’t understand where her anger was coming from. He had really just told Jason some things that he usually didn’t talk about—like his letter to Lucy and how he truly felt when he and Happy left to train. If anything he felt a bit proud for opening up more.

“But you’re admitting that you said it?” She opened the spread in the magazine, to properly quote him. “‘I think out of all of the guildmates I might be the most fired up to protect everyone,’ it says, and wait - there’s more: ‘I told Lucy to tell everyone hi as I left, but she probably didn’t manage to do that since she let the guild disband.’ Do you agree that that is what you said?” She looked into his eyes, still wishing Jason misinterpreted what he actually said, though now fretting to hear the truth.

“Well… yeah I guess I did say exactly that. I don’t know what you want me to say,” Natsu said, not understanding why Lucy was being so dramatic over some words.

He usually found her endearing when she acted dramatic over things but now he was growing annoyed. He really didn’t like that she was getting mad at him for telling his truth to Sorcerer’s Weekly.

Lucy fought her quivering lip. He really said it. And it looked like he really thought so too. That it was Lucy’s fault that the Fairy Tail guild disbanded—not that she was the cause of it, but that she didn’t do anything to stop it. Even if it was true–she didn’t know what to do at the time, knowing that Natsu and Happy left her with only a short, quite poorly written letter, still healing both physically and emotionally from the war against Tartaros. She felt sick to her stomach hearing it from him.

“I’d like an apology,” she said, her voice shaking slightly as she forced herself not to cry. “I want you to apologise for blaming me for a situation that you ran away from. Say that you’re sorry.” She said it louder this time. She refused to put up with his unfair claims, and she knew she deserved an apology.

“Okay. I’m sorry for telling Jason my true feelings, but that’s just how I feel. Sorry if you don’t think you’re not at least partially responsible for letting the guild disband. But you know that if I were there I would never have let that happen.”

Natsu knew he was pulling the wrong strings here, but even if he never said it, the knowledge that the disbandment could have—no, would have been stopped if he was there was enough to feel like the rest of the guild hadn’t tried hard enough themselves. Frankly, putting all of that blame on Lucy was unfair and untrue and Natsu knew it, but it was hard to take back printed words.

“Oh I know you wouldn’t let it happen, because Natsu Dragneel is soooo much better than everyone else here, right? No, fuck that Natsu. Because you. Weren’t. There. Alright?” Lucy clenched her teeth as she said it.

”You have no right telling us how little we tried to keep the guild together. You have no right to talk like you’re the only one who cares about what happens to this guild, because out of everyone, you’ve proven to care the least about the guild! What’s that about being the ‘most fired up about protecting everyone’ huh? How can you protect people if you’re. Not. There!” Lucy poked Natsu harshly in the chest as she said the last three words, feeling her cheeks heat up in a growing rage.

She hadn’t originally wanted to bring up this event. In fact, she had practically laid awake every single night during that disbanded year, telling herself to forgive and forget as soon as possible. Because she knew no one’s circumstance was easy to deal with and sometimes obeying master Makarov’s order was the only thing you could do in a crisis like that. She had really, really, wanted to leave all of this behind her.

“Do you know what I went through in that war? Do you? I lost my dad, Lucy. I had to see him get murdered by Acnologia. You might not have liked your father, but for the longest time you still had one—you just chose not to see him and for what? Some childish anger about him working too hard and ‘neglecting’ you? I would have switched places with you in an instant if it meant I got to know my father was alive and well.” His voice gradually rose as he spoke, and simultaneously a pit grew in his stomach.

He hated this. He knew very well he wouldn’t actually want to switch places with Lucy, because he knew their situations weren’t comparable, but the more he spoke the harder it was to back down from his words.

“Don’t claim you’d want to switch places with me Natsu Dragneel. Don’t you even dare. Your childhood was great thanks to Igneel and mine was horrible because of my father. I know you wanted to get stronger to beat Acnologia, I understand wholeheartedly. I can even say that it was completely reasonable for you to leave me—to leave all of us, but I can’t let you think that you were the only one who lost a dear family member.” Lucy had run out of breath, but was quick to catch it again.

“Wendy, Gajeel, Sting and Rogue all lost their dragons, their parents as well, you know. And I lost a family member, Natsu. What’s worse is that I had to break our bond, I broke Aquarius’ key. She’s the only thing my mom left me and I had to give her up to save all of you. I would do it all again in a heartbeat for all of you but I might never find her key again and I have to live with the knowledge that I’m the reason we can’t see each other.” Her tears were dangerously close to overflowing, but she held them back.

“So don’t use Igneel as a shield for your shitty actions, Natsu. No one would have stopped you from training here, hell, no one would have stopped you from running away if you only talked to me first! But you left a letter with only chicken scratch on it, and you didn’t even try to get in contact with me while you were gone.” Lucy felt herself yelling at this point. She had to, otherwise she would’ve stopped mid-sentence as she saw Natsu’s face change from stoic and indifferent—maybe a little upset—to hurt. But now the ball was in Natsu’s court.

“I wrote you a fucking letter Lucy,” he hissed through his teeth, “that’s more than I did to anyone else. What more do you want, huh? A tiara, a horse, a castle maybe? Why do you think you’re so entitled to everything?”

He was reaching now and he knew it. Her coming from a rich family had nothing to do with this argument, but he knew he couldn’t say anything else to answer her about Igneel and Aquarius. Because she was right. He just hated that she was. He hated it because she knew how to talk about her feelings, and he didn’t, which is why he spent that year trying to get ahold of himself. And he hated that she knew him so well, but that she couldn’t figure that small thing out. That he regretted leaving more than anything else, that he regretted the letter he gave her, that he regretted not reaching out. He was acting cowardly, and out of everyone in the guild, he really thought that Lucy would understand.

Lucy however was getting fed up with how he was making this argument more personal than it already was. What more did she want than a letter? She had already told him that she wanted signs that he had at least tried to reach out, to show her that he didn’t completely abandon her. Lucy was so unbelievably fed up with Natsu at this point. That stupid, idiot man! No words could describe the resentment she felt towards Natsu, not even coming from her, a proper writer.

“You just don’t get it Natsu! God, can you PLEASE try to use that non-existing brain for once!?” She yelled in despair, tears welling over in her eyes from the heartbreaking frustration building in her heart.

“No, I don’t get it Lucy! For fucks sake, why do you have to be such a pedantic bitch?” He couldn’t stand her vague hints at what she wanted him to say. Why couldn’t she understand that he wanted real answers to his questions, not insults to his mental capacity. His big hand grabbed her collar, making it tighten up significantly. Lucy wasn’t scared, she told herself, because being scared of the person she hated the most at the moment was not only unbelievably embarrassing, but also just way below her standards. So she fiercely bit down on her lip, partly to make the tears stop flooding, partly to throw the fire dragon slayer off guard.

Natsu’s usually kind onyx eyes looked like angry storms, showing her the most spiteful stare she had gotten in a very long time.

“Maybe I’m a pedantic bitch because I’ve always had to balance out your disgusting childish personality all the fucking time. Do you have any idea of what a menace you are, not only to me or this guild, but to society?” She hissed, no longer holding back the anger she felt. If he wanted to make this fight about things that didn’t relate to that article, then she wouldn’t hold back. Natsu, out of everyone, was the last person she wanted to hear those comments from.

“I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m a menace to society or whatever because at least I manage to protect society from whatever dangers they face! I’m the one who saved the entire continent from fucking Acnologia, and what did you do in the meantime, huh?” He sneered, lifting her higher in the collar. His fists were itching to… not hit her, but hit something. Gray would have been a good target, but the wall was closer – he made a mental note.

“Believe it or not mister main character syndrome, I was helping beating Acnologia. In real life, and not just in whatever weird imaginary place you ended up in.” She was really reaching again. “You, however, always think I’m just some weak loser who can’t hold her own ground! As if I don’t save your butt every single mission due to your stupid recklessness!” Lucy wasn’t backing down despite feeling Natsu’s scolding hot breath against her face. “And no, I don’t care about how you claim to always act on instinct to protect your family, because it’s proper bullshit! You don’t get to act all high and mighty and great for this guild because your indecisiveness and pure weakness made you leave this guild to rot for an entire year. If you’re going to become this guild’s self proclaimed protector, then you’ve got to be here to protect it.” Lucy pulled away from Natsu’s grip, forcing some space between them.

“No, Lucy, you have no right to say that to me. It’s thanks to me we’ve survived almost every single danger the guild has faced. It’s thanks to me the guild won the Grand Magic Games - or wait, no it wasn’t! Because back then I was saving your ass from getting killed! So sorry for saving you and successfully protecting you all this time. I knew you were whiny, but I didn’t know you resented me for fixing your life. I brought you to this guild, you should be thanking me, not yelling at me for having my own life aside from you.”

“Would you just shut up!” Lucy’s voice cracked, and she quickly resented herself for saying that. “If you regret bringing me here to this guild then maybe I should just leave? But just know that I never ever left this guild in the dust to run away with one of my best friends, leaving the other one behind to rot. I never ran away, despite not being able to speak to my father before he died, despite feeling weak. Because I know I am And I don’t need you to tell me. I’m weak, I’m weird and you think I’m a sensitive, whiny bitch, because no matter what great feats I make, I will always be that spineless girl according to the entire fucking continent.”

Natsu pursed his lips. He had never seen Lucy this upset, and frankly, he hadn’t felt this upset since Igneel left him in the woods as a kid. Hearing her say that she would leave really threw him back into reality though, her words feeling like a bucket of ice cold water getting thrown at him. What the fuck was he doing? Fighting her over something as small as not being able to honestly apologise about blaming her for not managing to hold the whole guild together by herself? An impossible feat, now that he thought about it, unless everyone in the guild had the same mindset.

“No. No, no, no, Lucy, let’s not do this,” he mouthed, relaxing his fists and softening his face. “You’re not weak, or weird, or a sensitive spineless girl.”

As their yelling match quieted down they both became aware of their surroundings again. No one had said a single word while they had been throwing insults at each other, and Lucy became uncomfortably aware of how she basically outed all of her insecurities in the heat of it all. No longer feeling the fighting spirit to keep the tears abay, she let them blur her vision. Fighting with her best friend was draining, and she never ever wanted to do it again.

“You’re the person I hate the least in, like, the whole world, please don’t say you’ll leave.” He almost whispered this sentence, not wanting everyone to listen in to their private conversation, but getting the opposite effect as he heard Gajeel whisper to Levy what he had said. If anything, talking quieter made the guild listen even more attentively.

Lucy once again felt her throat thicken up, but this time from regret for fighting and not in anger, as earlier.

“Of course I won’t leave. I would never do that. It’s just…” She sniffled, “I know you probably didn’t mean to hurt my feelings during that interview, you didn’t know that I already blame myself for letting the guild disband, and for not trying harder to keep in contact with everyone. How could you know, I never told you. It just got extra hurtful to hear that you felt the same way. It’s like having one of your biggest fears come true and I just got so… sad… that I got angry instead.”

Natsu could see that she was gathering courage to apologise, which truthfully broke his heart even more than it already had today.

“But I don’t think you’re to blame, I honestly don’t even know what got into me, Lucy. If anything I know that you kept tabs on everyone behind the scenes because rather than ripping up healing scars, you wanted to make sure everyone was safe, wherever they were. I’ve never told you how relieved I was when I saw that we didn’t have to start from scratch to find everyone, all thanks to the fact that you dedicated yourself to getting a job that would give you the information necessary. You’re amazing for everything you’ve done, and if anything, I’m the one who needs to realise that I’m the weak one. I shouldn’t have left everyone like that. It wasn’t fair, and it isn’t an excuse but I was sad and, well… scared.”

This time it was Lucy’s turn to interrupt Natsu.

“You’re not weak for doing what you thought would keep your loved ones safe, Natsu. I know you didn’t abandon me, you really were trying to protect us all, in your way. Though, it would be nice if you knew that we’re here for you too. We want to protect you and the guild as well. I want to protect you.”

“I’m still sorry for leaving. And I’m sorry for not thinking before I talk, I never wanted to make you feel that way. I was being really stupid. Can you forgive me?”

The air was thick between them, mixed with remnants of hurtful words and regret. A few whispers from the rest of the guild made it even more obvious that the current situation was wrong - Natsu and Lucy couldn’t fight. They were best friends, an inseparable duo. It was all so wrong. Lucy’s sobs broke the silence.

“Of course I can forgive you.” A huff or relief mixed with a sob made its way out, almost sounding like laughter. Natsu felt the corners of his mouth pull up slightly, the weight on his shoulders lifting simultaneously. Carefully he took a step closer to her, pulling her into an embrace. Lucy’s relieved sobs made her shake against his chest as she allowed herself to fall into the hug. “If anything,” she breathed, “can you forgive me? You’re not a menace to society, nor exhausting to be with. I’m sorry for yelling at you.” As her voice broke into falsetto, mixing with previous sobs, Natsu managed to laugh lightly.

“Well you were right about the destructive part,” he laughed, tightening his grip around her shivering shoulders. “There’s really no need for you to apologise, but I’ll forgive you if it helps you to forgive yourself.”

Happy gave out a loud cry from beside them.

“I’m sorry Lucy..!” He wailed, throwing himself into their arms. “I didn’t know you’d be so sad about us leaving..!” Seeing Happy cry made Lucy cry even more.

“Of course I’d be sad if my best friends left me,” she managed to say, “I felt so lonely… You guys are everything to me, it was so weird to live without you.”

Happy’s cry was almost deafening at this point, as the only thing muffling the sound was Lucy’s chest and his occasional mumbling about loving her and apologising. The guild kept quiet, no one knowing how to react to the situation. The topic of the disbandment of the guild was rarely spoken of, often due, but not limited to, people silently judging themselves and others for allowing it to even happen in the first place. Cana could lie awake some nights in shame of how she had been drinking away reality when it happened, Elfman took more single missions than ever before, spending them wondering if he hadn’t made the guild blow up, would Makarov never have disbanded Fairy Tail? Some people were firm believers that they’d step up to keep the guild together, if someone had initiated it at first that was. Everyone had their own discomfort around the subject, yet very few had actually spoken about it out loud. Watching the guild’s sun and star fight over the delicate matter had brought feelings they hadn’t felt in a long time, so when Erza spoke up everyone held their breaths.

“I think we all have our uncomfortable memories connected to that year. I can admit, with full transparency, that I also have had some sleepless nights over this topic. But I can assure you both that no one blames either of you, in any way. It’s true that Natsu takes the job of protecting the guild in the highest regard of seriousness, and it’s also true that Lucy does too. To be frank, often I wonder if I could have prevented everything had I been more perceptive. But I’ve never blamed either of you.” Erza’s tone was soft, despite her words being stale and clearly rehearsed in her head. Her own confession made a myriad of other people speak up as well.

“Yeah, we never blamed you two. You’re the ones that brought us together again!” The guild stirred, people talking over each other to get their two cents on the topic. After all, the disbandment was a dam waiting to burst – Natsu and Lucy had just accidentally pulled the plug.

“Well…” the coarse voice that spoke up made the guild quiet down again. Makarov had made an appearance, and Natsu and Lucy, who were already ashamed for having their affairs sorted out in front of their guild mates, got even more embarrassed knowing that he had heard it all. “I must say that I’m surprised, and actually offended, that no one has put the blame on me. You can deny it all you want, but at the end of the day it was me, not any of you, that uttered the words that caused the disbandment. It was never my intention for you to get mad at yourselves or each other.”

Glances were passed around in the guild. Between people who had fought over this topic, and between people who had plotted against other groups.

“I won’t say sorry though.” Makarov gave the crowd a stern look. “I did what I thought was the best thing to do at the time. And you can try to prove me wrong, but everyone here grew during that year. You took your own paths, and experienced new ways of living. I’m sorry for the aftermath of disbanding the guild, but I’m not sorry for doing it.”

When Makarov finished his sentences, the guild let out a collective sigh. Some got annoyed with Makarov’s demeanour – hadn’t he listened to Natsu and Lucy, and heard how harmful the event had been for their relationship? Others sighed in relief, nodding along with his words. He had a point after all, and like it or not, the guild had absolutely gotten stronger after their time apart. Someone mentioned the saying that “distance makes the heart fonder” and another guy pushed him for being corny.

Soon enough the argument between Natsu and Lucy had sizzled out. For everyone besides them, that is. Except, they both felt like there were things to deal with still. There were no more hard feelings between them, their troubles had been aired out and felt small now that they weren’t topics to carefully tread around anymore. Still, they hadn't come to a conclusion. They wanted to talk.

“Do… Do you want to go to my place?” Lucy asked, now that no one paid them attention.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They knew they didn’t have any eyes on them, but they decided to sneak out the back way anyway. It didn’t feel right to walk out through the big doors that made a big thunk when it closed behind them. Not today. They were still worn thin from the screaming battle – a loud sound might break them from shockwaves only.

The walk home was naturally quiet. They had taken this route home many times before, but back then the silence didn’t feel so empty. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t emotionally thick. There weren’t any unsaid words, unsaid sentences hanging in the air, clinging to their brains like velcro. Today, everything had been said. There were no more elephants to avoid talking about. Except maybe one.

Lucy was the first to enter the apartment. She took her time untying her shoes and hanging up her jacket. They had gone here to talk, though how, she had no idea. How was she supposed to say anything when the same mouth had heckled him only an hour earlier? Natsu, who also took his time with his sandals, almost moving unnaturally slowly to get those extra seconds to prepare himself, wondered the same thing. He started formulating sentences in his mind, trying to come up with something to say that wasn’t going to ruin them, but before he could put any of them to the test, Lucy spoke.

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Both Lucy herself and Natsu gave her a mental pat on the shoulder. Harmless words. A good sentence even – Natsu would give it first place in the world if he could.

“Yeah, sounds good.�� Another successful sentence. Maybe they actually would be able to solve all this.

After Lucy put on the kettle, they both sat down on the couch beside each other. She was first to speak again.

“Natsu, I really am sorry for everything I said.” Natsu tried to stop her there to insert his own apology, but Lucy spoke up louder. “I really said so many things that I didn’t mean, and I’m ashamed I even started the whole argument. It was really immature of me, and I…”

Lucy looked up at Natsu, water was once again pressing in her tear ducts, though this time in regret.

“I just really really love this guild. I don’t know where I would be without it. You seriously saved me that day in Hargeon, in more ways than one. I’m so thankful, I’m sorry for not telling you that more often. Thank you.”

Natsu stared intensely into Lucy’s eyes, wishing his gaze could speak for him, but ultimately deciding to answer.

“I don’t think you understand Lucy, I should thank you. And most of all, It’s me who should apologise. Hadn’t you been in my life I’d still be walking around with a stick up my bum, you’ve changed my perspective on life. We’ve gone through Hell and back together, but I never even once considered you part of that Hell. I’m sorry for being a jerk today.” Natsu didn’t notice until now that he had softly grabbed Lucy’s hand while speaking. He was beyond relieved that she didn’t pull back.

Lucy let out a light sob. She was crying in relief – the reassurance that he didn’t despise her.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Natsu. You-” she dried some of her tears with the palm of her hand, “you’re my entire world.”

“And you’re mine.” Natsu was quick to answer her, and faster to bring their faces closer. He felt this urge to hug her, keep her tight and not let go for anything in the world, but at the same time he wanted to see her. See her eyes that were still crying, feel her face against his own. So he brought their foreheads together and just breathed with her. Lucy’s breaths were still shallow and shaky, but it felt right to have her skin touching his, breathing in her air.

Then Lucy closed the distance completely. She carefully locked her lips together with his, not being forceful in any way. But they knew that this was the sensation they had been searching for. A complete closeness, mouth to mouth, an action so intimate it felt like they were sharing souls. And right now, they might as well have done exactly that. All their troubles had been shared, all their uglies and all their pretties, and this final action signed a contract. That they’ll keep mentioning anything on their minds, that they’ll say everything they like and dislike about each other. Most importantly what they love about each other. In this short moment of telepathy, they already knew the subject of their love – them.

***

Notes: Oops. At least I ended it with a kiss? I can't lie, this was hard to write and even harder to post (I can't figure out the Rich Text function on Ao3 at all, but I needed italics for the fic on ao3! Sorry tumblr-readers, you’re missing out🫣)

I honestly didn't expect it to get so long, most of the fics I write that are over 4k words are mostly just wordy for no reason, lol. But this fic had some drama! My teachers would be proud, dramatic curves are important but I Suck At Them.

Thank you for reading all this! And pls don't hate me for writing other emotions than love and grief, I'll most definitely get back with a trillion of those kinds of fics soon (I prefer writing those fics hehe). XX

[hierophant-meme]

The Stranger in the Mirror

(Zoro x Reader)

Hello, everyone! I’ve been contemplating whether or not to post my fanfics for years, but anxiety had gotten the better of me. I've been trying to step out of my comfort zone more recently and thought why not post them now. So here’s my fanfic debut, I guess! 

This is part of a bigger thing I’m working on, but I wanted to post a little snippet to see how it goes. If anything doesn’t make sense or if the beginning feels abrupt, that’s probably why. I tried to edit it so it could still be it’s own stand-alone piece. 

Some context before you read: Before the events of this scenario, the reader feels they needed to avoid Zoro as to not show their true feelings. They are now in a situation in which they have no other choice but to confront them. I’d say what this situation was but then I’d have to explain a lot of stuff and just wanted this to be short.

Content contains: no y/n, 1st-person POV, short instance of dissociation, implied AFAB reader but gender-neutral pronouns are used, SFW for the most part (gets a little steamy but not too much), a bit of body worship, short, plus-sized, insecure reader

———————————————

“I’m sorry if you don’t love me back but I just can’t help it. I’ve been avoiding you because I fell in love with you, okay? I didn’t want my stupid feelings for you to make things awkward since we’re crewmates.” I stare at the man in front of me waiting for his response but am met with silence instead. “I know you could never love me back so just forget I said anything okay? I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” I start to leave but am halted by his deep voice.

“That’s it?” I turn to face him. “I thought it was something more serious.”

I stare at him in disbelief and answer, “What do you mean. This is serious, Zoro. You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“But it isn’t.”

“What do you mean it isn’t. Are my feelings not serious enough for you? You’re all that’s been on my mind and it’s so annoying. Do you know what it feels like to be in love with someone who doesn’t even look your way? I know we live on the same freaking boat as each other but you’re always training or sleeping and I see the way you look at that marine lady with the glasses.”

“Who? Tashigi?”

I nod.

“She’s a marine! Ya think I’m gonna go for someone like her? I only kept looking at her cause she reminded me of an old friend that’s no longer with us. Besides, she looks different now after two years and I never thought of my friend as anything more than that.”

I place my hands to my face in shock, “Zoro, I’m so sorry. I had no idea…”

“Hey, it’s not your fault. I don’t talk about her much anyway. But I’m surprised with how often you look at me, you don’t see the way I look at you.”

I tilt my head in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“It means I like you too,” he states so matter-of-factly, his mutual confession doesn’t process in my mind.

We stare intently at each other for a few moments until his words finally get through to me.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why,” questions Zoro like it’s some big mystery.

“Do you see me? I’m not as tall or as skinny as Nami or Robin. I can’t train or be in battle for as long as you and the other strawhats can without collapsing first and being a nuisance to you guys. And I’m such a coward.” I turn to the side and look at the floor, “I can’t even confess these silly little feelings right. It took me two damn years to say anything cause I was so scared..”

He slowly walks up to me and places a hand on my shoulder. I look up into his lustrous, dark-gray eyes. My longing gaze quickly turns into one of determination.

“You know what,” I say in the most assertive tone I have ever spoken in, surprising myself in the process, “I won’t be a coward any longer.”

I take him by surprise as I jump up to wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I then pressed my lips upon his for a quick second, still afraid of what he might say.

“You call that a kiss? Cause if you’re gonna stop being a coward, this is how you shoulda done it.” He places his hands on my hips and holds me in a longer, more passionate kiss than the first. 

Soon tears begin to flow down my cheek. Once we break our lips away, he opens his eyes and notices. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks, rubbing the tears away with one hand while keeping a firm grasp on me with the other.

”I don’t know. I guess I’m just still in shock. I know there are far better people for you out there than me, so why again would you choose me?”

“Um, I dunno… I guess I like someone who can challenge me. I know you may not have much to challenge me in physical strength,” he says teasingly, ”but you’ve challenged me in mental strength, and that has honestly been a lot tougher than any physical fight I’ve ever faced.” He starts peppering my neck with kisses. “Oh, and one more thing” he trails up to kiss my cheeks and then stops to look at me in the eyes, “Believe me when I say I’ve never seen anyone as attractive as you.” 

”But-” He presses an index finger to my lips.

“Shhhhhh. Let me show you something.” He carefully carries me over to a mirror in the room and sets me down in front of it. “I want you to name every little thing you hate about yourself and I’ll prove to you that you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

”Zoro, what the hell. You know I’m afraid of mirrors.”

“Well, you said you didn’t want to be a coward anymore, right? Maybe it’s time to face this fear. I think I know why you’re so afraid of them and I’m gonna make you love them cause I want you to see what I see when I look at you.” He stands behind me and places both of his hands on my shoulders. "What’s something you think makes you look ugly? I’ll show you that you’re wrong.”

“Um… o-okay?…” I stammer out feeling a bit embarrassed at being put on the spot. “Well I- I told you earlier…” He looks at me with a stern look that turns into into a softer frown. Zoro’s hands move down to my hips. His hands reach to pull the hem of my shirt up just a little, revealing a sight so utterly disgusting, I flinch and turn away. I want to escape his grasp but I can’t. It’s not that he’s holding me so tight that I can’t physically leave, but there’s just something about him holding me like this that makes me all flustered and weak in the knees. I may not be a devil fruit user but his touch weakens me like sea prism stone would to someone that was. Damn this idiot mosshead!

He surprises me further by shifting to one side of me and he kneels down to my hips, showering me with small kisses as he descends. His arms reach up to turn me around to face the mirror again. His hands massage the weight I have to carry 24/7. “Ya know, babe. I actually like someone with meat on their bones. It just means they’re gonna taste so damn good, and if you were any thinner, I’d probably accidentally break you in half anyway.”

”So you’re not grossed out by it?”

“Why would I be. Look how beautiful you are. Every inch of your body is so friggin’ irresistible. I don’t care what other people find attractive, cause I know what I find attractive”

”Does that mean you like my stretch marks too?”

“What do think?” His lips curl up into a mischievous grin. He presses his lips on the stretch marks of my round, squishy tummy, one hand holding me around the waist in place, and the other massaging my side in small circles. I freeze up to look at the reflection in the mirror. This isn't something that should be happening. People like me don’t usually get to experience something like this. It’s so foreign. I clearly must be dreaming right? 

It’s like I’ve been removed from my body and am now observing a complete stranger. The taller person looks familiar but I swear I’ve never seen the shorter one in my life before. They look like something I’ve never been; something I’ll never be: beautiful. 

Who is this person looking in the mirror? That could not possibly ever be me. There’s a handsome, kind, and strong, yet gentle man moving his hands and lips down to the person’s thighs, devouring them like they were the most delicious meal he’s ever had. Way better than anything the blonde-haired, curly-browed cook could ever make. 

He’s now speaking into their thighs in a sweet, deep voice. I can’t hear anything but I can feel the vibration of his voice. But wait… How am I feeling that vibration if those aren’t my thighs he’s speaking into. He then stands up straight and stands behind them, caressing every bit of skin on their gorgeous body with such devotion. If that was my body, this man would avert his eyes in sheer disgust. Certainly, no one would ever want to lovingly and willingly feel the plumpness of my body… right? He turns the person around and… no wait, that can’t be right. I should still be looking at the mirror. Why am I looking at the warm, dark eyes of the green-haired man that was worshipping that divine body just a second ago?

Could that have been-  No, it couldn’t have. Could it?

[prezaki]

Marianne's Past

I went and read the Marianne vi Britannia chapter from Mamoru Iwasa's "Knights of the Round" short story anthology that was released as a bonus volume to his Code Geass R2 novel series.

I am 80% sure that this image that is often seen floating around online was made to promote this specific short story (or maybe accompany a serialized release?), but the illustration itself is not included in the tankobon release.

I'll provide summary of the short here here, but please be aware I am reading with machine TL and there may be errors even despite the best of my double-checking. If you want these details for, idk, academic reasons please go to the source text first!

Anyway this story rules, here it is. Italics mark direct quotes.

We start off strong with Charles thinking "I had no reservations about wasting my own life." Standing in the middle of a battlefield, he laments that Britannia is a dying country structured around a bloodthirsty elite. No dreams, no hope.

"Born into such a world, why would you desperately try and such a small thing as your own life?" he thinks, but then Marianne's voice cuts through to him. Marianne waltzes into the room where Charles stands surrounded by soldiers pointing guns at him. Injured, in her bloodstained white uniform, she fights her way through to him with unbelievable competence and elegance. She beheads all the men as the narration describes the beautiful glisten of her sword and the flow of her hair.

Marianne, the Knight of Six at this point, sheathes her sword and bends the knee before Charles, in the middle of corpses and with both of them splattered over and over in blood.

"I sincerely apologize for any trouble I've caused you by being late," she says.

Marianne tells Charles to evacuate, but he remains stoic and only looks at her arm, which is rendered unmoving by her injury.

"That wound. You've killed, Knight of Six. You've killed the Empire's most powerful knight, the Knight of One."

Only he would have been able to hurt her this badly, Charles reasons.

The Knight of One turns out to be the person who staged this rebellion in the first place and Marianne did indeed kill him before coming to find Charles.

We learn that Charles' reign is being questioned by conservatives because he was such a distant candidate for the throne originally and ascended mostly due to the past emperor's insistence.

"There is external trouble, and the internal anxieties are becoming more and more serious. This a country on the verge of ruin. Don't you agree? Knight of Six," says Charles who is feeling talkative.

Marianne disagrees. After all, she's here and so is Waldstein, still Knight of Five at that time. They won't let it come to that.

"Then, will you come to my side, Marianne?" It's the first time he's ever called her by name and not title and she blushes.

(Here we briefly learn Marianne had a normal military career before being promoted to the Knights of the Round.)

Before she can ask what he means, Marianne realizes the truth for herself and blushes harder. Through a whirlwind of emotion she finds unwavering determination within herself.

"I humbly accept your offer."

He looks at her with eyes that seem almost sad.

"You might regret it."

The narration suggests he may be trying to make sure she knows he isn't going to force her.

Marianne denies the possibility. She won't come to regret this, because as long as she's by his side she will prevent all causes for regret from occurring.

"So you're saying your own happiness depends solely on yourself." Charles finally smiles faintly. "You're bragging, Marianne. Show humility."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Amidst the smell of gunpowder and blood, a man's hand was slowly held out. The girl's hand rested on top of his, a little awkwardly, but with a certain intent.

We then learn that this rebellion, the Blood Crest Incident, took place May 6th 1997 so a bit less than three years before Lelouch is born. Most of the Knights of Rounds were murdered in it or executed for being complicit.

The narration spends some time discussing whether Charles should be seen as a good or bad ruler, coming out conflicted.

Arguments for being a good ruler: Britannia was on the verge of collapsing and being divided between the other two super-powers before Charles revived it. Arguments for being a bad ruler: ... well, about that bloody conquest though.

Fun side details: leader of Charles' political opponents was his uncle the Archduke Louis. Anyway, we skip forward 5 years, and the civil war and unrest has now ended.

Marianne is the 5th Empress. We are treated to her in the Aries villa garden, sparring with three young teen girls from the military academy: Cornelia, Beatrice and Nonette.

None of the girls stand a chance and Marianne harshly critiques their swordplay, but she ends with saying they're getting better and she's looking forward to the next vacation. She winks at them.

We briefly learn that Cornelia's mom comes from a pretty traditional family and wanted her to be more of a palace lady but Cornelia's own wish was to enter the military. Whenever she has time off from school she comes to the Aries villa to let Marianne train her.

As Marianne talks to the girls about their training later, a small kid looks out from under her skirt.

Barely 3year old Lelouch enters the scene! He's entered a shy phase and has to be coaxed to say hi to Cornelia. (But he does do a proper bow and greets her as 'elder sister'!)

Cornelia mentions that Lelouch's shy phase is the total opposite of Euphy who is currently following everyone around 24/7 and being SUPER social no matter the person.

Then, Bismarck comes in. He is holding a crying baby Nunnally and is locked in a vicious circle of trying to get her to stop crying by smiling but having a smile that is too scary to comfort the poor baby. Cornelia laughs at the Knight of One in such a predicament.

Of course, Marianne was the one who forced him to hold the baby despite all his protest that he, who's not even married, would be shit at it. She appears remorseless.

Marianne says she was trying to teach him the stress of a mother who has some maternity nerves due to taking care of two kids, and he's just like. Ma'am the nannies take care of your kids, there is no way you are that exhausted. (He does not say this out loud.)

Beatrice, who has many younger siblings, saves Bismarck and calms down baby Nunnally. Nonette, who likes throwing babies in the air, is banned from approaching the bappy.

Marianne tells the girls to watch the kids for a bit and walks off to talk with Bismarck about serious matters. There's a cute paragraph about the girls helping Lelouch do his first tumble roll and him being really happy about it.

Bismarck muses that not too long ago it would have been unthinkable for there to be the laughter of children in the palace. Marianne teases him that continuing to ensure this is possible is why he's here, isn't he?

Bismarck is Knight of One and also the ONLY Knight of Rounds at this moment. Marianne left the Knights after becoming Empress and the others all died due to the Blood Crest Incident. No new ones have been appointed since.

Bismarck tells Marianne that he thinks she is more suitable to be Knight of One than him.

Marianne doesn't entertain the thought. Bismarck wants more Knights appointed but Marianne says that Charles was ambivalent to the suggestion, being not really concerned about his own safety. Also there are no promising candidates right now.

Anyway, the main reason Bismarck dropped by is because the current Chinese Emperor passed away. This unrest and uncertainty has Charles setting his sides on border expansion and conquering more territory.

Marianne grows pensive. Is Charles good or evil? She's wondered often. We launch into a flashback:

“Your Majesty--do you aspire to be a conqueror?”

Marianne asked him one day, and Charles, laughed happily, which was unusual.

"Hmm...Is that what you see, Marianne?"

"Yes. At least in my eyes."

"Conqueror, huh? If that's what you want, that's not bad either," Charles muttered, an even more amused smile appearing on his handsome face.

When Marianne heard this, her expression turned grim.

“If you are serious about such things, I will refuse to touch His Majesty from now on. Please do not enter my sleeping quarters again. I will immediately decapitate myself.

"I thought you'd say that. But, Marianne, there's one thing you forgot to mention. In that case, you would only kill yourself after beheading this emperor, right? ”

......

"Is it untrue………?"

"Mhm."

"You are a person who never compromises on yourself. Just like me. Therefore, your wings are something that even this emperor cannot control, and the way you flap your wings nobly captures his heart." Marianne couldn't help but smile crookedly as the truth was whispered to her from an unexpected source. Seeing this, Charles also laughed.

"Marianne. My desire is not to conquer the world. It is to strip away the lies of the world. In the process, I hope for the world. I will rid the world of lies. That is my oath. ...But let me promise you this, Marianne. The inside of your heart that you never show to others. That emptiness that cannot be wiped away. Even that, I will make up for it.”

Marianne's expression returned to normal and she fell silent.

Then she said, "If His Majesty truly thinks so, I will create a 'vessel' for His Majesty. His oath, the power to approach it. The path - an army strong enough to conquer the world."

The emperor laughed loudly this time.

"That means you're joining forces with the worst sinner in history, Marianne. Your children and grandchildren will continue to be accused of being witches who assisted the most evil king in the world."

Marianne smiled too.

"Of course, I am prepared. Your Majesty does remember what I am called, right?"

"The Flash. It sounds good, but a flashing light burns people's eyes out. Moreover, your light is by no means the halo of a saint..."

"A bloody hero's death. I have never wielded a sword for anyone other than myself.

"Even when you protected me... that's why I wanted you. Would you like to see the world together, Marianne?''

“Even if it costs me my life.”

Since then she knew.

This person was planning to spread his wings even bigger someday.

Britannia, a continental country. However, this person cannot fit into such a small container. He has to involve many countries and puts the world under its control. Even if he was called a tyrant, or the king of Hades with the sickle of death. Moreover, his motivation was never ambition. Nor was it vigor. Instead it was because of the tears of blood that this person shed when he was young. To fulfill the vow he made. In that case, what she can do after deciding to walk with this person is--

With this cut-off phrase we go back to the present.

In the evening of her meeting with Bismarck, Marianne calls the three girls to meet her. She appears wearing her old Knights of Round uniform and tells them she won't be able to accompany them in their training for a while, so they should use this opportunity to come at her like they mean it because she also won't hold back. For the first time in their sparring, she is dual wielding which was her preferred mode of combat during her active days.

We skip the combat and go right to Marianne coming back out to talk to Bismarck. He remarks that this was quick. The girls stood no chance, though Beatrice held out slightly longer than the others. Marianne asserts that a Knight of the Emperor needs no naivety or kindness so she tried to knock that out of the girls here. She expects they will be changing bit by bit from here on out. Marianne and Bismarck begin to leave for the capital.

Marianne: "Then let's go, Bismarck. To help the king commit the worst crime in history."

Bismarck: "And so it's the return of the empress general."

As they are about to leave a nanny and a crying baby Lelouch stop them. Lelouch had a scary dream during nap time and needed to see his mommy. He had a dream his mother was going very far away.

Marianne tells Lelouch that she isn't going anywhere. But her eyes are cold, as if she was looking at a wooden dummy. Bismarck has seen this expression on her many times before - it's the face she makes before cutting somebody down on the battlefield.

Bismarck is so used to this expression signifying killing intent that his body almost intuitively moves to protect Lelouch - but Marianne just hugs him.

"Lelouch and Nunnally are mother's treasures. I will always be with them and protect them. Forever and ever."

In her heart, Marianne adds: 'However, this is only true so long as you do not stand in the way of he and I.' She suddenly finds baby Nunnally staring at her - she smiles, and Nunnally suddenly trembles as if frightened.

All she can do is stare at her mother's smiling face.

Six months later the Britannian Empire starts its massive expansion campaign, with Marianne The Flash serving as Charles' greatest support.

[meimesworld]

I know everyone should focus on the allegations of Lily orchard because ultimately that’s the most important, I’d like to raise a point and swing back to the fanfiction to ask a question to die hard Lily supporters.

No need to get into specifics, Stockholm was a story created by Lily under her dead deadname that involved abuse, pedophilia, etc etc.

What i can’t seem to fathom when there’s an argument against her lying is…why? Lily has constantly changed her story of the fanfiction multiple times.

Starting with the most well known quote of “can’t use Stockholm, I wrote that one” Lily has multiple sources where she directly acknowledges that she was part of the stories creation

The most interesting part of this, is that multiple times she has addressed the work by its name, Stockholm.

Then she went on to deny ever creating the piece in the height of the drama with Josh, where he flat out states that she wrote it, only for her in audio to say that he “could’ve pulled it from any fanfiction site” and show a censored screen shot blurring any information pointing to the exact contents of the story. While that tweet directly had been deleted, this tweet, posted on the same day he showed a screenshot of the fanfiction, proving exactly what the contents involved were.

She then some years later posted that, no, actually, it was originally called Scars, and the sex scenes were only added in because haters gonna hate man. So now it was “I didn’t write Stockholm, I wrote something else” despite, for years, only ever acknowledging it as Stockholm

All of these things are flown out the water when you remember that the @the-last-alicorn is still up and if you search her name on the blog it directly shows her account (now nuked) tied to the series.

And now, in its conclusion, both in KP’s video and in a recent stream she did, she finally admits that she did write Stockholm, addressing it by its actual name, and that it was taken out of context and, in stream, that she simply was just dumb and shouldn’t have wrote the things she did.

So my apologies, that’s actually five different stories, not 4.

This is where I have to ask supporters: at what point do you acknowledge that Lily is simply a liar? Instead of from the jump just saying “I wrote something that I don’t agree with now” as she did in her recent stream, she went on for years blaming haters, bronies, AI even when it wasn’t in public use yet. I’m pretty sure the amount of dragging she got for that alone wouldn’t have been as severe as it has been. Yeah there prolly still would ppl be weirded out by her but at least she wouldn’t be a liar. And in turn, if she can lie about something as simple as this, why in the hell is it so unbelievable that she could lie about molesting her sister, or being an abusive friend, or anything else?

Personally, I don’t even buy the idea that her tumblr just suddenly got mass reported so bad it was deleted, I genuinely think she started to realize just how much shit is housed on her account that she simply deleted it herself, but I could always just be a biased lil shit waffle constantly inclined to think the worst.

[oodlyenough]

6-3 turnabout... whatever

i finished this case a couple weeks ago but i've been super busy and now also have covid so i haven't gotten around to it. but for posterity. i must document.

this one really tested my patience lol. WHAT a mixed bag.

the good:

maya... i missed u so much .... it's so unbelievably stupid they wrote you out for so long. welcome back babe

the investigation days were genuinely pretty fun. i loved having rayfa as an "assistant" lmao, reminded me of nick investigating with franziska in 3-5 which was PEAK, and i find rayfa herself is perhaps the most compelling new character aa5/6 have thrown at me. phoenix works really well with a horrible little girl having an existential crisis. she is actually imo quite a well-characterized character having a coherent emotional journey that i am interested in. groundbreaking

the lore around khurain and spirit channelling and how the feys are apparently superior to everyone here lol, like, it's all very silly but... i guess.jpeg. there certainly Is a plot at least. the bar is on the ground courtesy of dual destinies

i think the twist at the end here was ... interesting at least. i don't recall having "actually it was a suicide" as a plot resolution before, so kudos for breaking new ground, lol. the puzzles were mostly a decent level of challenge. that there is gameplay and puzzle solving at all is, again, a huge victory over dual destinies.

i don't know what's going on with ema and nahyuta but honestly it's cracking me up. i keep imagining ema consulting the lesbian masterdoc trying to decipher her feelings

however

the bad:

i made a post about it while playing but phoenix is so fucking dumb now!!!!! it used to make me so irritated that fanon treats him like a dumbass but now it's literally canon. grown ass man needs a 14 year old to tell him what moss is. it's SO goddamn annoying to see a plot resolution / twist / answer / whatever four hours ahead of the playable character, who most of the time now never even gets there himself, bc his 1 personality trait now is "bluff". christ. phoenix baby i'm sorry all your traumatic brain injuries are catching up to you it's not your fault this isn't the real you

what is WRONG with the pacing in these cases. honest question. why is it i can go from being like "this is pretty fun" while investigating to "actually i think we should just take the death penalty, nick" in trial. something so so so tedious about how this new guy handles testimony and i can't pinpoint what it is. there were certainly times in the og trilogy i found cases tedious and trying, especially the third cases lol. but this feels... worse? it was that way in AAI1 and DD too so i think it's this particular writer.

speaking of whack pacing: it's insane that after this obviously arc-heavy case, which leaves khurain in disarray and should have given rayfa and nahyuta existential crises, we're going to do a pointless tutorial-style case with athena and blackquill in japanifornia. why the hell. i like athena, but capcom clearly doesn't, and it just makes everything with her kind of excruciating.

[yvesdot]

Well, this is new! I watched the entire VMAs (just about) for the first time ever, and here is my official writeup—less so for Dots (certainly not a public-facing project), more for all my friends I want to gossip with. Here’s everything I’m going to be talking about for the next few days that happened at the VMAs, with helpful links to all the available clips.

Before anything happened, Kendrick released a new song on Instagram. This immediately trended alongside the VMAs for the rest of the night.

*

Chappell Roan snapped at a photographer on the red carpet. It’s still frankly unclear to me what happened—in the video I’ve seen passed around, you hear a voice in the background say “shut the fuck up,” to which Chappell turns and retorts, “you shut the fuck up!” When they apparently protest, she shuts them down, saying, “not me, bitch!” It’s unclear whether the photographer in question was originally talking to her, or to another photographer, and also whether she was accusing him of saying anything to her. I’m not personally invested in finding out more.

*

Eminem opened by performing “Houdini” and “Someone Save Me;” I showed up halfway through with the volume on mute and had no idea why that man was wearing the world’s worst blonde wig. I do think the obvious visual reference to his original VMAs “Slim Shady” performance is genuinely cute. It is unbelievable he still rapped the “If I was to ask for Megan Thee Stallion if she would collab with me / Would I really have a shot at a feat [shot at her feet]?” lines with Megan Thee Stallion hosting.

*

Megan was adorable and an excellent host. She is so funny, so genuine, so easy to watch and so good at balancing being personable and competent. Honestly, she and Chappell gave some very similar energy tonight and it made me wonder if they know each other (I am not very aware of Chappell things—yet!) She was also, naturally, exceptionally well-dressed. The crowd absolutely loved her.

*

Taylor immediately won the “Best Collaboration” award for Fornite with Post Malone, which began a streak of 7 awards won that night, mostly for that one song, despite the fact that her latest album has been one of her worst-received by fans and critics alike. (This is not a comment on whether the songs on the album are good or not, just on the relative success in comparison with her past work and the reception of other projects nominated. It’s surprising.) Her seven awards were the aforementioned Best Collaboration, Song of Summer, Best Pop, Artist of the Year, Best Direction, Best Editing, and Video of the Year at the end of the night. This ties her with Beyonce for most VMAs ever won. She also claims a number of other records, but I am not going to list all that. 

I will tell you that she opened this acceptance speech with “Waking up this morning in New York on September 11th, I’ve just been thinking about what happened 23 years ago; everyone who lost a loved one and everyone that we lost. That is the most important thing about today and everything that happens tonight falls behind that,” and then continued as if this had been a normal thing to say and/or she had not said it.

I’m still frustrated at the timing of her endorsement of Harris coincidentally last night. It feels too obviously set up to quell rising fan anger and ensure every award she won would be “untainted” by people’s criticisms of her.

*

Megan recreated the iconic Britney-with-a-snake look.

*

Sabrina Carpenter performed a lovely medley. She opened singing “Please Please Please” (with the “motherfucker!”) on a swing, descended to a couple of audio clips including the iconic Britney line about Titanic from her “Oops! I Did it Again” music video, performed “Taste” with an astronaut and an alien (she did kiss the femalien, though Britney Spears (!) commented she ought to have kissed a girl), and transitioned into “Espresso” with a few dozen astronaut backup dancers. I loved her outfit and especially the lipstick mark on her thigh (!!?!!), and I have to give her credit for doing this insane performance setup in front of both Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, about whom “Taste” was allegedly written.

*

Katy Perry accepted the previously-announced Video Vanguard Award and performed a medley of tracks—in order, “Dark Horse,” “E.T.,” new track “I’m His, He’s Mine” featuring Doechii, “California Gurls,” “Teenage Dream,” “I Kissed a Girl” (rock version), “Firework,” and “Lifetimes.” You may notice that “Woman’s World” was nowhere on this list. Also, during their performance of “I’m His, He’s Mine,” Katy and Doechii scissored in a possible reference to Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s 2021 Grammys performance of W.A.P., and MTV cut directly to Orlando Bloom in a likely reference to the Britney/Madonna/Christina VMAs kiss where they cut to Justin Timberlake.

In my opinion, it was a great performance from the choice of tracks to the aesthetic(s) to her voice. She clearly still has it! However, people audibly booed when her name was announced and several times as she gave her speech, which, side note, opened with ““I did that all too on the first day of my period, if you can believe it!” It didn’t help that she chose to—well, look, here’s the whole thing, bold by me.

Can you believe it? Thank you so much to MTV for believing in my weirdness from day one and for helping artists extend their worlds beyond a song. There are so many things that have to align to have a long and successful career as an artist. There are no decade-long accidents. (a long, meaningful pause, during which people booed) So I would like to acknowledge a few people: my team who have been with me for over 20 years, direct management, and my label Capitol Records.

Trust me, it takes a village of strong people, a lot of healthy discourse, and a lot of group chats. My parents and my family, the deepest roots I know. We don’t always agree, but what a lesson that those disagreements can still be full of love. Thank you to MySpace, Warped Tour, and all the bygone places where I found a voice, identity, and a community so early on. Thank you to the friends that were there when my Jetta was repossessed. My Katy Cats: You stood by me for a lifetime, and the LGBTQ community who I recognize I would not be here without and who show me that you can be both kind and [bleeped out—”cunt”?]. Thank you to Orlando for keeping me grounded, celebrated, and doing the dishes. And lastly for my Daisy [her daughter], the only flowers I’ll ever need.

I’m excited when I look around music today, and I see all the amazing young artists who are operating with confidence, agency, vulnerability and authenticity. I’ve heard a lot of “Do this, don’t say that, wear less, wear more now. Hey, don’t cut your hair.” One of the biggest reasons I’m standing here right now is I learned how to block out all the noise that every single artist in this industry has to constantly fight against, especially women. I just wanna say with my whole heart, do whatever it takes to stay true to yourself and true to your art. Turn off social media, safeguard your mental health, pause, touch grass. And do what you were born to do just like I was born to do this. 143 comes out September 20. I love you!

I probably don’t need to say it, but I find it incredibly upsetting and disappointing that she would frame the criticism of her, which has centered almost entirely on her working with Dr. Luke, someone whom numerous women have accused of being misogynist and generally abusive, as “noise that women artists have to deal with.”

Also, I don’t have video proof of this, but they played a truly bizarre intro to the award where they called her “the queen of camp” and said “she’s a mother and she IS mother” and I don’t know what to do about that. They did play the world’s briefest audio snippet of “Woman’s World” during that.

*

Chappell Roan performed “Good Luck Babe” and nothing else, which nonetheless seemed to quiet upset fans whose shows were canceled with little notice last week due to the “scheduling conflict” of Chappell deciding to do the VMAs. I wish the mixing had been better; I could barely hear her voice! But the aesthetic was lovely (very Dorian Electra “Man to Man”) and the set was extremely well-used. She definitely seems unused to performing in this more regimented style, but there’s an infinite amount of time for her to either get comfortable with it or adapt it more to her usual performance method of running all over the stage.

*

Tyla won Best Afrobeats for “Water,” obviously. Lil Nas X (presenting the award with Halle) could be heard saying “But we already knew, though, right?” as she approached the stage. She gave the world’s most diplomatic speech which acknowledged that African music is (obviously) more diverse than the label “Afrobeats.”

*

Megan delivered an incredible medley performance: “BOA,” a sample of “Wanna Be,” “B.A.S,” a sample of “RATTLE,” “HISS,” and “MAMUSHI”—with a surprise appearance by featured artist Yuki Chiba, in a cool hat! And may I just say, for all-around stage presence, choreography, vocals, delivery, everything, Megan stole the show 100%. And that’s with all the ridiculous censoring she had to do! If you are not into Megan, you need to be, now. She is the moment.

*

Benson Boone did a flip (1:29) while performing “Beautiful Things,” a song I found myself hearing for the second time ever. It is apparently the song of the summer to many people. That’s cool! I genuinely had never heard it in my life before this week. He’s clearly an exceptionally talented performer, so let’s see where he goes.

*

Sabrina Carpenter won “Song of the Year” for “Espresso” and seemed genuinely shocked, somehow.

*

Halsey did an absolutely gorgeous performance of “Ego,” a song I hadn’t heard before but found myself liking. I should get into Halsey!

*

Camila, the other half (?) of the Camila-Shawn-Sabrina love triangle, with an album which underperformed (especially in comparison to Sabrina’s), faked out the audience (including her ex and his sometime-other-girl!) by pretending to play “June Gloom,” the closer from the standard edition of the album about why he runs back to her if he really likes Sabrina so much, and then cutting the recording off to actually sing “GODSPEED,” the closer off the deluxe version—and the latest single, dropped only last week. Apparently it’s the first track she wrote for this era, after a breakup with an entirely different ex. Point being, I give her a lot of props for just how much that moment rocked.

I suppose as a professional I ought to say all this is only allegedly what the songs are about. But, you know, we know.

*

You know Glorilla rocked the house down. Having seen her in SF, I could tell just how much she’d improved since then, not just in her performing skills generally but in her confidence. You go, Glo.

*

Chappell Roan won “Best New Artist” in a moment everyone saw coming a mile away and read her acceptance speech from her diary. She’s so cute!

*

Video of the Year went to Taylor and she shouted out “my boyfriend, Travis Kelce,” in her speech. This is not news, but people screamed like it was? She also told people to vote. None of this is really important to me but you need to know that I went to r/GaylorSwift again after several months’ abstention as a result of the way people were talking about it. People chanted Taylor’s name. Also, Megan initially opened the little card upside down, which was adorable.

*

Best performances of the night: Katy Perry, Megan Thee Stallion, and Halsey.

Most deserved wins of the night: 

Chappell Roan (Best New Artist)

“Espresso” (Song of the Year)

“Water” (Best Afrobeats)

“Mamushi” (Best Trending Video, though any pick might have been good)

“BOA” (Best Art Direction)

Biggest snubs of the night: 

“Not Like Us” (Song of Summer, “Fortnight”)

“Paparazzi” (VMAs Most Iconic Performance, “Roar” — a case where any other pick would have been better)

Sabrina Carpenter (Artist of the Year, Taylor Swift)

Glorilla & Megan Thee Stallion’s “Wanna Be” (Best Collaboration, “Fortnight”)

Olivia Rodrigo, Sabrina Carpenter (Best Pop, Taylor Swift)

“Too Sweet” (Best Alternative, “Beautiful Things”)

“Von dutch” (Best Cinematography, “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)”)

“Rush” by Troye Sivan and “greedy” by Tate Mcrae (Best Choreography, “Houdini”)

Additionally, “Espresso” was not nominated for Song of Summer (“Please Please Please” was), and Britney’s “Slave 4 U” was not nominated for VMAs Most Iconic Performance.

Here’s the full list of nominations and wins. 

Here’s my compilation of favorite outfits. Katy Perry wore a QR code tramp stamp which led to preorders for her album.

*

Other thoughts:

LISA and Anitta and Rauw Alejandro’s performances were also great! I don’t know that this was the best intro to their songs (my stream was not excellent quality) but I’m glad I stuck around!

Ads for HIV medication and Kamala Harris played throughout the night. There was one ad of Camila’s “I LUV IT” playing while she did insane things and drank Bacardi that almost made me dislike the song.

Charli not being anywhere near this event was criminal. I know she has the Sweat tour to rehearse for (I’m going to see her! AHHHH!!!!) but I really felt her absence. People also expected Taylor and Ariana to perform, and neither of them did—Ariana wasn’t even present! Lady Gaga wasn’t, either, which is a possible reason “Paparazzi” didn’t win Most Iconic VMAs Performance; apparently the VMAs prefer to give awards to artists who are present so they can give a live speech. Meanwhile, they gave Artist of the Year to Taylor Swift for the second year in a row and didn’t air it because she was walking in and out. Make of that what you will.

I successfully predicted the results of 5 awards (Best New Artist: Chappell Roan, Best Afrobeats: Tyla, Best Direction: Fortnight, Best Editing: Fortnight, and Video of the Year: Fortnight). Next year I might just start gambling and put it all on TSwift; it seems an easy victory.

Let me know if you want more of this sort of thing! I've done it for presidential debates in the past, too, though that was Patreon-exclusive. Heck, if I wasn't on hiatus, this might have been, too ^__^

[w98pops]

TW: SUICIDE MENTION, VIOLENCE

i knew i said i would take a little break, but ive been mentally declining a lot and drawing my silly guys is my way of coping. I never actually properly drew Wendy from 2301, so im filling in the blanks.

I'd like to think of her as a person who never actually... grows up. She just kinda gets taller and more sad over time. Wendy was always very vulnerable but cheerful, and House kinda groomed her into a serious and politically aware person, still unbelievably vulnerable but a viable subject nonetheless. I always had this problem with writing her relationship with another canon character, no one realistically would give a fuck about her and her opinions. Sure, maybe Arcade will pity Wendy because she's "stupid" from a neurotypical point of view, but other than that, she doesn't have any weight in any political conversation that's going on in the Mojave. So I made her really fucking stubborn. Annoyingly so. Wendy just... gets the job done. She's resourceful, efficient and very easy to manipulate. A perfect fit for a House's courier, I think. She doesn't question his orders, she does not care for consequences as long as she has House as her cover (a trait she inherited from her step-father) and she's sometimes sociopathic and numb to voices of empathy. Not in a "edgelord murder killer girl" way but more like. She doesn't see people who hurt her as humans. A coping mechanism that would probably be the end of her, sometime in the future. I mean, she did confront Benny and got really physical. There was no way she could've win a fight against a grown ass man, and Benny did beat the shit out of her, but in the end he was the one with a cracked open skull. I just like to think that her pure madness and helplessness was enough to fuel her mind and overpower something she had no chance against in the first place. SPEAKING OF CHANCE. That's why I think she would totally get along with Chance, the Khan from the comic. I don't really put a thought about how he would've survived or joined her, but they're pretty much soulmates. They have very different backgrounds, personalities, literally anything, but Chance recognises her rage. Her inability to do what's right and the constant fight against unfightable (?) circumstances she's facing every day. I'd like to think he's autistic too. As a treat.

So yeah, she's super uncertain about anything in her life, and that makes her a very useful tool in the hands of a right man. Mr. House mastefully manipulated her personality in a conventional way, taught her the secret and mysterious knowledge of "masking" and sat her down for a few years to teach her ways of the capital and created this really sad but smart and charismatic politician with no real political voice whatsoever. She's also very cute and sweet looking so yeah. He made himself a Tandi. 😭😭 Also he scanned her brains, which would totally not be a big plot point for the future.

Almost perfect, but Sharky is here too, for some reason. He's the biggest pain in the House's ass since Benny. He has a certain emotional intellect, not easy to bribe or manipulate in mental or physical way, he really fucking cares for his sister, and is very aware of the things The Big Guy does to her. See, Sharky wasn't raised by his sister, she was a child herself at that time, and his mother didn't play much role either, too busy bickering with Aletus and then later too busy drinking and fucking in Gomorrah. Sharky was raised by the Strip and the rules of Wasteland. He might not be the smartest guy alive, but emotionally he's mature beyond belief. He's very observant, empathetic and cunning person. Even tho he was mute most of his childhood because of child neglect and untreated autism, he has incredible social skills and a Yes-man in his basement he found while renovating the Tops. He has a plan. Not a good one, but a plan nonetheless.

I have so much OC material I'm ought to write a fanfic. Or a comic, idk. In my dreams, sure, but it's still refreshing to talk about my ocs and draw them, and recieving feedback and praise for my storytelling skills 😭😭😭 it means a lot. Thank you all for reading this far!!!

[ha-rinrin]

FRACTURED PHATS

Y/N, a determined CEO, has built a successful enterprise from scratch, only to face fierce competition from Hyunjin, the head of a rival company.

First chapter of this new series :))

01- Company next door

“what are you doing in my building” I say clearly annoyed

“trust me, this is the last place I would rather be” he spat with so much venom it hurted

“then why the fuck are you here Hyunjin” I spat back

The man I was just talking to flinches his eyes between between him and me, clearly uncomfortable.

“we need to talk Y/n” his eyes filled with hatred

12 hours prior

“here comes one of my favorites CEO’s, do me a favor and tell this douchebag to let me in? “ Felix grumbled with a bright smile on his face, I smiled back “of courses sunshine, next time he comes jut let him in” I advise to the guard. “yes mrs Eun” replies the guard. “lets go Lix”

“I missed my couch, and the view of course” purred my best friend as soon as we entered my office, the sky of Korea clear behind me due to the enormous glass wall, “why haven’t you visited me?” I question with a pout. While sitting on the glass table, not bothering to sit on my fancy chair “you know how’s Hyunjin with me coming to see you” Felix pouted, I frowned at the memory of the man. “why are you still working for him anyways?, you can always work here” I questioned, “I really appreciate the offer Y/nnie but I already have my place at the company and he’s my best friend, you know this” ” he explains “I knowww but how can you be friends with him?” Its just so unreasonable that such a pure soul like Llix would be friends with the most annoying, self-centered person I know, “you guys don’t get along ´cause of the rivalry you guys have due to the company’s” stated Felix laughing, I just stayed silent. “Can’t deny that” i answered

Eun enterprise and Red Lights corporation have always been rivals in the industry, I built my company from scratch ever since I was 18, 6 years of hard work were definitely whort wit, as now im the CEO of one of the best, most known business in the country, here’s where Red lights Corporation comes in, one year after from my company’s opening. He decided to launch his own business, Felix being his right hand.

“but he’s such a pain in the ass all the fucking time is unbelievable” I proclaimed. Just as Felix was opening his mouth, some annoying boss felt the need to call him. “Hyun?” Answers Lix. I can hear the clearly angry Hyunjin on the phone. “I swear.. she’s sweet don’t day that.. hyun… okay okay just… fine, im coming in 5” he mutters, “looks like someone’s looking for you” I smirked. “I’ll be back for my couch·” shouts lix while rushing to the elevator. Just as it opened my assistant popped up, “Y/n I have some great news” she says excitedly “well hi there winter” I answer with amusement “u know u can call me by my real name right?” Forty raises an eyebrow in my direction “I know I know Min-Jeong” I smile sweetly at her, as my friend since kindergarten, I have a lot of care for her.

“Back to the great news” she continuos, “ some really important person wants to make an inversion in the company” winter says with a smirk, “how important are we talking about?”, “oh nothing is not like he isn’t the owner of one of the most important company’s that’s for sure” she says jokingly “u kidding” I ask, there have been a lot of people wanting to make deals with us but never that big, “his name is changbin”

…

“THE SEO CHANGBIN??”

“The one an only” frosty’s smirk never leaving her face for one second, “shut up” I cover my mouth in shook “he’s like.. rich rich” my eyes couldn’t be more open. Seo Changbin is the owner of one of the most important company’s, not only in Korea but also in Europe, this is that big of a deal.

“This could elevate the business to the point were we could expand to Europe” I exclaim in absolute shook

“Hes coming here tomorrow morning to talk about the deal”

“Better be ready then” I say as I smile

“You can’t stop smiling can you?”

“Im sorry!!”

“Welcome mr. Seo, Im Eun Y/n, CEO of Eun enterprise” I give him a welcoming smile as I introduce myself while we are in the lobby walking towards the elevator to get to my office.

“Oh dear you can call me Changbin, I’m really exited to get to know you” as he says that I just look at him taken by surprise, he can be very handsome but business is business, since this company started I was determined to not cross my personal life with my work. He notices how weirded out I am

“And the company of course” I can see the nerves in his posture and how his eyes are moving way too much but I decide to stay silent as we enter the elevator.

“What a nice office you have” he exclaims as he is inspecting every single inch of my office

“Thank you, we can take a seat here” I suggest while im pointing to two armchair facing each other whit a glass table in the middle. Yes, im fan of glass okay?. After he sat on the chair we start talking about the deal, everything goes well, I can already see my company in different part of the word.

“Of course I would want certain part of the income” starts changbin

“How much would we be talking about?”

“Well..”

He couldn’t finish his sentence before someone comes in.

what are you doing in my building” I say standing from my chair, clearly annoyed

“trust me, this is the last place I would rather be” his eyes drift to the seated man, his eyes filled with rage

“then why the fuck are you here Hyunjin” I spat

The man I was just talking to flinches his eyes between him and me, clearly uncomfortable.

“we need to talk Y/n”

He seems to notice just now the presence of the about to be new investor

“In private” Hyunjin musters between grilled teeth

“Oh don’t worry, I was just about leave, Y/n I will email you the date of the next reunion, now please excuse me” I can’t even say anything before he’s in the elevator spreading going to the lobby.

“Great, you just made me lose an important investor, what the fuck do you want, who even let you in?” I say loudly almost shouting at him

“Well first, don’t fucking shout at me, second, he literally said we was going to set a date for another reunion don’t be dramatic, third, we have a much bigger issue” remarks hwang

“Don’t tell me what to do Hwang, and what is this “big issue” you are talking about” I answer, doing quotes

“There’s a new company in the market casually doing the exact same products as we are” he whispers

“Hold up” I raise my hand in sign to let me process this, “ do u have a picture?” questioned.

“Yes, I even have all te comparisons between their product and ours, they are not just copying me but you too, also doing some type of mixed product between both our ideas”

“Great, show me the pictures of what they are selling and their name” I demand

“Cmon I have them in my office” he informs me as he’s already in the elevator

“Do you really expect me to just show up at your company?” I laugh

“Believe me, I hate the thought of you in my office but do you want to let the unoriginal copycat ruin your company and mine? Be my fucking guest” okay, now he’s clearly annoyed and pissed

“Fine.” I mustered

As we enter Red Lights corporation I can feel all the stares and shocked looks as we walk side by side.

“Do you think they’re dating?” whispers one secretary to the other “I don’t know but they sure would make a great couple” as I hear that I can see Hyunjin smirking, he also heard.

We make our way through the bustling corridors of Red Lights Corporation. The building’s sleek, modern design feels both impressive and intimidating. Hyunjin leads the way with a confidence that seems almost rehearsed, though he’s clearly on edge. I follow, feeling the weight of the stares from the employees we pass.

"Here we are," he announces, stopping in front of a glass door that slides open to reveal his office. It’s as luxurious as you’d expect from someone in his position—large desk, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a minimalist aesthetic.

“Take a seat I guess” Hyunjin says, gesturing to the chairs opposite his desk. I sit down, crossing my arms and trying to suppress my irritation.

“Alright, Hwang. Let’s see what you’ve got,” I say, my tone clipped.

Hyunjin sits behind his desk and pulls out a file. He flips it open and spreads out several photographs and reports. Each page shows a side-by-side comparison of our products and those of the new company, along with notes detailing the similarities and overlaps.

“This is what they’re selling,” he says, pointing to the pictures. “Their products are strikingly similar to ours, and they’ve even incorporated features from your line.”

I study the images carefully. The resemblance is undeniable—same design elements, similar functionality. It’s like they took our ideas and just tweaked them slightly.

“What’s their name?” I ask, still absorbing the information.

“Veritas Industries,” Hyunjin replies. “They’ve been gaining traction fast, and it’s clear they’re targeting the same market we are.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And you’re telling me this now because…?”

“Because,” he says, leaning forward, “I need your help sadly. If we both tackle this problem together, we can neutralize the threat. If we don’t, we risk losing significant market share to them.”

I give him a skeptical look. “Why would you help me? You and your company have always been a thorn in my side and vice versa.”

Hyunjin’s expression softens slightly. “Because it’s in both our best interests. If Veritas continues to copy us, it’s only a matter of time before they start eating into our profits. We can either waste time fighting each other or pool our resources and deal with this threat head-on.”

His argument is sound, and I can’t deny the urgency of the situation. I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Fine. What do you propose we do?”

“First, we need to gather more intelligence on Veritas—find out who’s behind it and their strategy. Next, we should consider legal action to protect our intellectual property. And, of course, we’ll need to step up our own R&D to stay ahead.”

I nod, already formulating a plan in my mind. “Alright. I’ll start by getting my team on this. But don’t think this means I’m going to be friendly with you.”

Hyunjin smirks. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Just then, the office door opens and a young woman steps in, her eyes darting between us. “Mr. Hwang, I have those documents you requested.”

Hyunjin takes the papers from her and then turns back to me. “I’ll have my team coordinate with yours. Let’s set up a meeting for tomorrow to go over the details.”

I stand up, ready to leave. “Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”

I step into the elevator and the doors close, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I’m ready to face whatever comes next—whether it’s with Hyunjin’s help or not.

The elevator ride down is silent, my mind racing with the possibilities of what working with Hyunjin could mean for both our companies. Despite my best efforts, I can’t shake the image of him from my mind—his intense gaze, the way his jaw tightened when he spoke. There’s something about him that gets under my skin, and it’s not just business.

When the elevator dings and the doors open, I step out into the lobby and head towards the exit. As I step back on my own office, winter is already waiting for me. “Dare to explain me why I just saw you and Hyunjin together?” There ´s a slight shook in her voice.

Just dealing with some kind of copycat trying to copy and paste our ideas” I say lightly

“Oh shit, again”?”

“Yep, but this time its not only me but hwangs company too”

“Okay that’s come audacity”

“I know right?, anyways tomorrow we’re gonna met for a meeting to talk about this”

“Ohh” she teases

“Oh come on you now how im with mixing work with personal business” I roll my eyes

“A little bit of losing up doesn’t hurt anyone Y/n, its been a while since your last relationship”

“Yeah, then my ex made a company right next to mine”

[accioprocrastination]

One Day At A Time (Part 3/?)

Jake Seresin x Reader

A/N: More angst, ngl I was listening to Daylight by David Kushner when writing so this got away from me a bit wasn't expecting it to get this dark...

T/W: Anxiety, panic disorder, grief, PTSD, gun violence, torture, murder, prisoner of war, war crimes

Summary: Hangman's POW fiancée attempts a prison break; Javy talks Jake into doing something he doesn't want to do.

Masterlist

Jake POV -

Coyote can talk anyone into anything.

He's somehow convinced everyone to book the day after the mission off work to go to your place, not wanting his best friend to spend another one of your birthdays isolating himself.

Jake pulls up into the driveway and grabs the barbecue supplies from the back of the car before dumping them on the side in the kitchen.

"Wow, when we said let's go to Hangman's I wasn't expecting this." Rooster says entering the house with Phoenix, Bob and Fanboy in tow. All of them blatantly ignore Jake's tear-stained face and glance around in awe at the house.

"I'm not being funny but how on earth have you financed this?" Phoenix questions making Jake laugh. He cannot express the relief that her teasing makes him feel after a morning full of unease.

"Phoenix you cannot ask that!" Rooster gasps giving her a horrified look.

"This place was unbelievably gross when we bought it, It literally makes my skin crawl thinking about our first viewing... It was up for sale so cheap I knew there must've been a reason, other than it being close to base." Jake smiles, "there's no way in hell I would've bought this without Y/N walking around declaring what we should do to it." He elaborates, not having the vision to have done any of the renovation alone.

"Jesus he has a pool!" Fanboy shouts from the other side of the room as the others rush to the window to scrutinise outside. When everyone arrives Jake gives them a quick tour around the house to avoid anyone snooping without his knowledge.

He leaves Bradley to man the barbecue and heads inside to grab a beer. In doing so he watches Phoenix and Bob verbally dissect the photographs on the mantle.

"God she was gorgeous." Phoenix points out to no one in particular, tone sounding impressed that Jake managed to land you.

"She really was." Jake sighs looking at the photo of you at your backseaters wedding, grinning ear to ear at whatever he was saying to you.

God I miss you

"How did you two meet?" Bob queries, stopping Jake before he can spiral into his thoughts.

"Flight school... I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, she literally knocked me clean off my feet day one. We started arguing and I just thought shit this is the girl version of me." He smirks as he answers.

"God I can't imagine there being two of you out in the world. How would we cope?" Payback winks, making Jake roll his eyes in response.

"Do you usually celebrate her birthday?" Bob asks not really knowing who Hangman is as a person outside of work.

Jake instantly shakes his head. "No she fucking hates -" he starts to answer swiftly cutting himself off. He ignores the bolt of heartache that threatens to shatter him as he realises he needs to correct himself, "-hated her birthday... She never wanted to celebrate it so we always just did something together without anyone else. I don't know why Javy's arranged this." Jake lies not completely oblivious to Coyote's attempt to force him to find closure.

He can't even argue that it's misguided. It's been years and he still needs to correct himself to past tense when talking about you.

Every time he comes home he half expects you to walk through the door after him.

Jake would never say it aloud but every time he comes home, he feels like he's waiting. Permanently waiting for you to get home too.

"You miss her a lot?" Bob continues trying to get a read on him.

Jake nods. "Every single day. She's my first thought when I wake up in the morning, and the last one before I go to sleep."

"Still?" Javy's worried disbelief comes from the doorway.

"Yeah." Jake's lip quivers slightly as he continues to stare at the photograph in Phoenix's hands.

I thought that this would get easier as time goes on - everyone says that - but every day I miss her more than yesterday.

Jake tears his eyes away from your photo and necks the rest of his beer in silence. All he can think about is how he'd give anything to not feel like this anymore.

Unable to shake the torment, Hangman slips out of the living room and heads back outside to argue with Bradshaw.

*

Reader POV -

You're shoved forward by a warden, collapsing onto your knees in the threshold of an outbuilding you've never been in before. Tears well in your eyes from the sheer force that your knees hit the concrete. The tears don't have a chance to fall, as the man hoists you upright forcing you inside.

Anxiety surges in your chest as you look up. You're greeted by blood splattered walls that instantly confirm your thoughts about this building.

This is where they kill people who are no longer useful to them.

You look over at Ghost hoping he will give you a look to convey that he has some form of grand plan for leaving this place. His golden skin looks ashy with sickness, sweat beads on his forehead, and his face is contorted in trepidation.

He doesn't have a plan. Neither of you have a plan.

It feels like someone has sat on your chest with how rapidly short your breathing is becoming, your apprehension is blossoming with every passing second spent in this building.

I do not want to die here.

You silently beg your backseater to look at you, as if meeting his gaze will prompt you to have some form of epiphany. His shoulders are hunched, eyes glued to the floor inaudibly accepting his fate.

He's been trying to convince you that you'll get out every day since you got here, you've told yourself every day that's not possible. Seeing him resigned to this reality sends adrenaline pounding through your body, you're not dying here at least not without a fight.

As the herding stops, you scour the room as best you can without moving, eyes flickering between all of the red covered rooms as you search for anything at all that you might be able to grab to attack the wardens with.

Fuck, this is hopeless.

We're as good as dead.

The rooms are almost completely empty.

There is nothing, not one single thing, here that we can use as a weapon, you realise.

Your thoughts of giving up are abruptly halted the millisecond after they form, as you watch the warden on your left shift his right arm towards a gun strapped to his waist. He's the prick who pushed you.

Somehow through the endless cries of the people around you, you hear the unmistakeable sound of gun safetys being removed. The fallacy that you've created of this place having some vague sense of security or solidarity among prisoners is shattered when the first round of gunfire begins.

You feel your stomach start to churn as people try to shield behind others. The sequential bout of nausea that washes over you is unignorable.

Your whole body traitorously reacts to the commotion, your rigid tension melting away to a whole body tremor. You've never been in the situation where you feel your knees shake with genuine well-placed terror before.

You've got to pull your shit together y/n. You mentally slap yourself trying to fight your inner anxiety away, needing to think rationally to decide your next move.

Without debating the consequences, you shove the warden next to you into the wall behind him with all the strength you can muster. He's thrown off guard, obviously not expecting any resistance. After his minute stumble allows you to take his weapon, he straightens up hand instantly moving to become a vice on your arm. He twists your arm in an attempt to throw you off balance. You do not shift even an inch, feet firmly planted on the ground. You're so deep in your fight or flight response that you barely even feel the motion that you expected to floor you.

The wardens are so focused on obliterating prisoners that they don't recognise the screams of their own as out of the ordinary, so you continue resisting.

When all of the wardens are down, you allow yourself to properly glance around the prisoners in the room.

Everyone looks broken beyond repair, most of them are bleeding.

Even if you got everyone out, you're not sure who among you is strong enough to live with this.

Ghost looks like a shell of himself

Ignoring that thought, you turn your attention to him, "I want to go home" you state croakily, arms still shaking as you lower the gun.

"There's no way out of here." Ghost reiterates, agitation plaguing his voice. It took the two of you, four days of recon to figure that escape was not at all possible from where they keep normal prisoners.

"Listen to your boyfriend Miss America." One of the wardens chuckles from his place on the floor, momentarily pulling your focus to watch him hold pressure on the bullet wound on his leg.

"Then we die trying." You instruct your back seater, before opening up your invite to everyone else.

A fail looking man that you bumped into earlier, shoves a boy in your direction quickly saying something to him in a language you don't understand.

There are kids here? A shudder runs through your body at the thought of children being exposed to this. No one should be exposed to this, especially not little kids.

The man turns to face you, opening his mouth to say something when a bullet rings out. You grab the kid shielding his eyes before he can see his potential father figure drop to the floor.

A warden sniggers from the floor as you stand glued to the spot in horror and disbelief that anyone would be that insanely cruel.

"Go." Someone chokes out, moving to shield you.

*************************************************************

Part 2 for those who missed it

Part 4

A/N: I promise I'll listen to something happier and write some fluff soon