#but not on purpose

[enjoythesilentworld]

Wille's Month - Riding

day 9 @youngroyals-events xx thank you for all you do.

“You’re sure you don’t want a ride from me instead?”

Wille really enjoys his morning. 

rating: T (cw implied sexual content... duh)

read below the cut or on ao3.

A very loud beeping jolts Simon out of sleep. He scrunches his face and burrows further into the pillow, trying to drown out the sound. The warmth next to him shifts away and there’s a chill that runs down his back at the morning air on his newly exposed skin. Even worse, he’d been having a very nice dream, and was interrupted right before the good part. 

“Sorry, love.” Wille’s sweet voice reaches his ears, much more pleasant than the alarm which is now, thankfully, shut off. 

The sound reminds him that he can fix both problems quite easily. Not only is Wille perfectly warm, he was also the main star of Simon’s dream. He reaches out blindly, wrapping his arms around Wille’s waist and pulling him closer. Though he has yet to open his eyes, he knows Wille’s body just as well as his own and can easily find the soft skin of his neck to kiss. 

“I’ve got to get ready for work, my love,” Wille whispers, brushing curls out of Simon’s face, who shakes his head and latches his legs around Wille, as well. “Simon.” 

Grudgingly, he peeks his eyes open just a sliver to look up at Wille, who’s already smiling down at him with a loving gaze. “Get some more sleep,” he says, then begins to move away. And that simply won’t do, Simon has other plans. He lets Wille untangle himself from Simon’s koala-like grip, but reaches out for him again, catching him by the arm. Wille turns back and plants a soft kiss to the inner skin of Simon’s palm, then his forehead, before slipping away. As his beautiful boyfriend begins to clank around in the bathroom, Simon flops back onto the bed and thinks. He kicks the rest of the sheets off and poses himself just so, then he waits. 

When Wille re-enters the room, humming happily, he barely spares Simon a glance, already browsing the closet for an outfit. He’s a buzz of energy, flitting around the room excitedly. This was pretty typical for Wille, ever the morning person, but Simon knows today is special. Still, Simon also knows he’d really liked that dream, dammit. 

“Baby,” he purrs, rolling onto his side, “come here.” 

It’s as if he’s said nothing, though, because Wille turns around, holding up two ties and asks, “Which do you think is better?”

Simon tries not to look too exasperated. He’s laid himself all pretty on the bed and Wille is asking him about ties.

“The right one,” he says, then crawls forward on the bed. “Do you want my help?” 

Wille nods happily and strides forward, handing over the strip of silk. 

“Guess what today is?” Wille asks giddily, practically bouncing on the spot. 

“What’s today, baby?” he indulges, focused on looping the tie around Wille’s neck, being sure to caress the soft skin there as he goes. It’s one of his favorite spots. 

Wille grins wildly and doesn’t even flinch when Simon leans forward to press a lingering kiss on his jaw. “I’m riding the bus to work today.”

Ah, yes. With Wille’s renouncement of his title and officially stepping down from the throne, he was now, technically, a private citizen. Things had been tumultuous and crazy for a while with the press and the royal court, but he had recently received the affirmative that he no longer required security or private transport. Now, Wille was just Wille. He finally had the normal life he’d been hoping for, wishing for his whole life. When they’d gotten the news, Wille had collapsed into Simon’s arms on the couch and cried in relief. Simon had cried, too. Like that last little weight had been lifted, that last little wedge between them removed. 

So, when Wille had been hired for a new job soon after, he’d been ecstatic. He also had not stopped talking about how excited he was to ride the bus. Sure, they rode public transportation together all the time. This, Wille said, was different. It was an everyday, normal thing. Simon understood. In fact, he found it adorable, if not a little ridiculous, that Wille seemed more excited for the bus ride than the actual job. 

“You’re sure you don’t want a ride from me instead of taking the bus?” he teases, giggling softly when Wille makes an affronted noise. 

“Simon,” he pulls back.

“I know, I’m just joking. Unless,” he pauses, reaching out a hand to fiddle with Wille’s belt, “you’d like to ride me before you go?” 

Wille groans and, ever so slightly, leans into Simon’s touch. “You can’t…”

“Can’t what?” Simon asks innocently, tilting his head up from where he’s knelt on the bed before his boyfriend. He leans upwards and presses a kiss to the corner of Wille’s mouth.

“I’ve really got to go,” he mumbles, half lost in a sigh as Simon kisses along his neck, using the tie to pull him closer. Simon just hums in assent, then guides Wille further forward, coaxing him back into bed. He doesn’t get very far, though, because Wille manages to slip out of Simon’s grip again. 

“I love you,” he says, already grabbing shoes and heading towards the kitchen, “so much. And I promise the second I get home tonight I will be all yours.” 

Simon groans softly in slight frustration, but lets him go. Any remaining frustration is quickly dissipated when Wille sends him many happy selfies along his journey. One at the bus stop, one of the bus pulling up in the background, one with the actual bus driver – how he managed that one, Simon does not know – and a final one of him settled in his seat. He looks incredibly happy and proud, and Simon’s heart swells at the sight. It all works out because later that night, Wille returns with a ridiculous amount of stories about the ride to and from work, then happily follows through on his promise. 

[montammil]

I love oblivious Caretakers who have no idea what the hell they’re doing. Even more so, two Caretakers-- one who hardly know what they’re doing at all, and the other who seems like the professional caretaker.

Imagine Whumpee is more close to the clueless Caretaker, constantly asking them to give them some kind of order, whether it’s a chore or something more nonsensical, like “speak in a funny accent all day” or “stand on only one leg for the next thirty minutes”.

When the more responsible Caretaker finds out, they’re angry and scolding clueless!Caretaker for giving them orders, regardless of Whumpee asking them to.

And then when responsible!Caretaker and Whumpee have a conversation about it, it goes like:

“You don’t need to be ordered around all the time, Whumpee. You shouldn’t want that.”

“But if no one tells me what to do, then how am I supposed to know what to do?”

“...you don’t always need something to do, Whumpee.”

“...what.”

[oopsiwhumpeditagain]

Caretaker yelling at whumpee, which makes them think that what whumper is doing is normal.

[chronicallyraininghere]

Really self indulgent mcu au where Loki got banished to earth after New York, but with the spin/popular hc that he’s still technically a teenager. Their hair is blond bc Odin’s petty like that.

[dollopheadedmerlin]

Why's it seem like anytime I feel like I'm becoming more confident, someone on a completely different wavelength from me will end up just not vibing with me so intensely that it makes me shrink up? Not even like, them being rude or mean or anything. Just like, we don't mix well, and it makes me back track like 10x and I hate it

[muddypolitics]

(via Awkward Silence: Ron DeSantis’s Bold Twitter Gambit That Flopped - The New York Times)

“We got so many people here that we are kind of melting the servers,” said David Sacks, the nominal moderator, “which is a good sign.” This was not true.

Soon, all signs were bad. Hold music played for a spell. Some users were summarily booted from the platform, where hundreds of thousands of accounts had gathered to listen.

“The servers are straining somewhat,” Mr. Musk said at one point, perhaps unaware that his mic was hot, at least briefly.

For 25 minutes, the only person unmistakably not talking (at least on a microphone) was Mr. DeSantis.

The Florida governor’s chosen rollout venue was always going to be a risk, an aural gamble on Mr. Musk, a famously capricious and oxygen-stealing co-star, and the persuasive powers of the governor’s own disembodied voice. (“Whiny,” Donald J. Trump has called him.)

this shows conservatives CAN do comedy.

just not on purpose

[sp00ky-frog]

I think you're pink and def the first chunk of green :]

Oh I’m definitely green

[greatwyrmgold]

I can't decide if I should go on a rant about how this ill-conceived political proposal is another way of disenfranchising marginalized groups, from the poor to many LGBTQIA+ people, or if I should break down all the obvious reasons why we should just point and laugh at it.

[sp1resong]

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

[hellishqueer]

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

[heywriters]

btw the majority of your life will be lived as a adult. yeah i don't make the rules. go have fun in your 40s or 70s or whatever. no one expects you to accomplish everything at 17 or 27. you've got time and in the meantime get some life experience, it will pay off

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[elbiotipo]

Usamericans should be more anti-war actually. They should be straight up insulting marines and shutting down weapon factories, 60s anti-war protests kind of shit. I'm sorry for pontificating from down here but the US military-industrial complex is currently supplying a genocide, and this is not a new thing, the US has sold weapons to Saudi Arabia to starve millions of Yemenis, the Iraq war, the Afghanistan war, these are within memory. And though some people think it's not the point, it Is also true that there are trillions upon trillions of dollars that could be spent in anything else that go to the black hole of corruption (and call it for what it is, corruption) that is the Pentagon. Any of those resources could be destined to literally any other activity and be better spent.

I'm talking full contempt here. You should outright be HATING the military. Instead of lining up to watch Top Gun you should see it as a glorification of a fucking killing machine that serves imperial interests, enriches megacorporations and supports genocides. For the love of God be more angry about it. Goddamn.

[draconicshinx]

I am BEGGING younger drivers. drive carefully. give yourself room. for fuck's sake use your turn signals and don't fucking weave thru traffic. this is not a video game, this is real life and if you get into an accident, you could get killed or kill someone else VERY easily

[jerich0two]

A begrudging Happy Valentine's to you all! Stay safe out there, my fellow aromantics ...