#but not like the game store that is bullshit there is only one egs

[macksting]

[ID: El Goonish Shive panel edit. Sarah asks "What about you? You're not feeling an inexplicable desire to talk to me about El Goonish Shive, are you?" Susan replies, "Yes, but that's normal." /end ID]

[wandsandwheezes]

Fake It | Weasley Twins | CH4

one // two // three

Warnings | 18+ SMUT, mature themes, fake relationships, secret relationships, love, sex, drama, angst, fluff, cheating

Summary // Fred Weasley has been set up to publicly date Y/N, London’s best Quidditch Seeker in order to drum up some publicity. Y/N however has a different ginger man on her mind; George Weasley.

A/N // im so sorry to the vanilla beans for this one xxxx

Green was definitely your colour. At least that’s what George thought as you ran down the stairs, the dress you were wearing was elegant and sophisticated but still casual, George thought you looked absolutely ravishing in everything you wore. You smiled lovingly at him when you caught him staring. You hadn't spoke to Fred since the incident when he tried to kiss you, having well and truly avoided the topic for at least 3 days. you were not looking forward to having to feign your love for each other. 

Despite the fact that Fred had already apologised, it didn't make things any easier. "You look beautiful." he stated, as you straightened his tie and flattened down his hair, "And you look a mess, Fred". His tired eyes looked at you pleadingly, as his hands came up to button his suit jacket. George and his heavy stride came barrelling down the stairs, when you spotted him, he looked like a work of art, his features were glowing and he was clean shaven, perfect hair hanging and framing his face, a request from you that he should grow it out a little more than usual. He didn't look stressed or worried like Fred did, and in this moment you realised the toll that days like this took on Fred and George did too. 

The shop was perfectly pristine, the new massive display fully stocked and the centre of attention, Fred had briefed the employees this morning, making sure that they knew the drill. Crowds and the press were all gathered outside in anticipation, the volume growing so much that you began to hear it from within the confines of the shop. 

When the doors swung open, it well and truly became show time. You hung delicately off of Fred's arm, as you stepped out of the opening doors, huge flashes of cameras, as well as cheers of excitement all bombarded your senses, however it was nothing compared to the thrill of the stadium. 

Fred began to deliver the speech about the new line of products, taking a moment to thank the investors and patrons of the shop, George followed on by unveiling the collection of items from the new line, the gorgeous green packaging complimenting your dress perfectly. Your eyes were fixated on the man of your dreams as he talked with such passion and vigour. You had to remind yourself that there were hundreds if not, thousands of eyes on you and that you probably shouldn't have been staring at George the way you were but you just couldn't help it. Fred once again takes to the stage to begin the personal thank yous before the store opens. 

"we want to thank the family for their continued support in our endeavours, also, Cheryl, our press manager and last but very not least my gorgeous girl, who has been with us every step of the way." he beckoned you onto the stage, as he continued, "Even though she has quidditch practice out of her ears for the big game next week, she always finds the time to brighten my day." His hand snuck around your waist before travelling down to firmly grab your ass. 

Fred's mind was racing, he thought that here would be the perfect opportunity to finally have his lips on yours, crashing them down onto you without even a second thought. There was absolutely no way you could pull away in front of everyone, you were conflicted. The frantic flashing, as well as cheers and woos from the crowd were distraction enough. It was stopping you from hurling sick directly into his mouth at the thought of George being subjected to this bullshit. 

George watched the events unfold before him, stopping himself from ripping you away protectively. He wanted to cut off Fred's hand more than ever, disgusted that he had the balls to grab your perfect ass so candidly in public - an ass that didn't even belong to him. George was absolutely livid, he could tell your discomfort a mile away. His heart shattering at how hopeless and weak you were to the situation. 

The doors of the shop finally opened and shoppers began to swarm in, ready to grab the latest products and creating a comforting blanket of noise. Cherry was smiling happily at you, sending a wink and a thumbs up your way. Your eyes however were searching for your Lover, disappointed he was nowhere to be seen, you pull out your phone to see a text from less than a minute ago.

>> Toilets, Now. Don't make me wait x

This was not good, but your heart raced faster with every step you took towards the bathroom, the door was slightly ajar when you got there, slipping into the cosy room you noticed George there and waiting, you shut the door behind you, flicking the lock before you heard him cast a silencing charm on the room, you heard the sounds of the bustling shop slowly fade, leaving the only audible sound as your staggered breath. 

George's strong hand was on your cheek as he kissed you passionately. This kiss felt right, a thousand sparks of electricity coursing through you the very second your lips touched and you felt as if the whole world was spinning. His lips were the perfect warmth against yours, the sticky saliva rolling off both of your tongues as he parted your lips with his, taking the opportunity to swipe his tongue over yours, letting you know who you belonged to. He was moaning into your mouth, an action that made your cunt throb with anticipation. He pulled away only enough to spit directly into your mouth before feverishly shoving you down to your knees. "Use that wet mouth of yours, now Princess."

Your needy hands were unbuckling his belt, metal clinking against itself as you pulled his hard on out from his trousers, you obliged immediately, lips wrapping around his cock as you sucked, taking him deep down your throat. The sounds you made as you gagged on his thick shaft were sending him to heaven, his hand was firmly gripping your jaw as he coaxed nearly his whole length down your throat. You pulled away for air, moaning as he slipped out of your mouth, your hand came up to stroke him quickly before taking him past your lips again. This time however, George took no solace as his hand gripped into your hair, making it the perfect leverage to hold your face in place as he rocked his hips, cock fucking every flicker of anger directly down your throat. Hearing you choke and splutter with every thrust was only egging him on more, it was one of his favourite sounds and he couldn't get enough. 

"I hope he fuckling likes how my cock tastes." he growled as he locked eyes with you. "That's it take it all, my good little cockwhore." he was still fucking your mouth, chasing his own release, your hands gripped the back of his thighs as he pushed himself fully into your mouth, hot streams of his cum hitting the back of your throat, spilling out of your mouth as he pulled himself free. His thumb swiped from the corner of your mouth, "Swallow like a good little girl." he marvelled at you eagerly taking his thumb into your mouth. He smiled proudly when you opened your mouth, seeing every last drop gone. 

You loved it when George used your mouth like a fuck toy, it didn't happen often, but when it did, he was often angry like now or stressed and desperate for a release. "Up. get up on the sink." he commanded, you immediately pulled yourself to your feet, sitting up on the sink, his hands coming up to spread your legs apart as he found himself on his knees before you. "Tell me who you belong to." you sighed as his finger hooked quickly into your underwear pulling it to the side, you felt his breath fanning over your exposed pussy. "You, George, only you."

"Good, let's see if Daddy can help his pretty girl then, hm?" His sinful lips had attached to your clit, sucking slowly as his tongue lapped over it, the pleasure of being touched pulled a long desperate moan from you, you thanked that he had at least silenced the room, because with every motion and movement of his skilled tongue, you were moaning and spluttering, desperate to have a release. "Georgie, your tongue is so good!" he hummed in appreciation, thumb running through your sticky sweetness before coming up to circle over your clit at an antagonising rate. "I wanna cum daddy, please, feels too good." he chuckled, lips pressing dainty kisses along your inner thighs and right over your tight hole, before blowing a gentle cool breeze over your whole wet and glistening cunt. 

His hands found your thighs, hooking them into his arms to move and press your back against the wall. "I don't even care if we get caught or if I'm taking too long anymore, you're mine and I fuck you when I want." he pulled your hips down onto him, making you bounce against him a little, you knew it wouldn't take you long to be coming all over him, you were already a blubbering mess for him, pulling every moan from your lips as he kissed you feverishly. He knew he'd hit the right spot when you clenched all around him, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. He pulled out of you, leaving you sat on the counter as your legs still shook from the orgasm running through your muscles. 

He used the mirror to make himself presentable once again, smirking as he left you blissed out on the counter, pressing a simple kiss to your lips. "Such a good girl, I love you, baby." He was out of the door before you knew it and you were left with your own juices running down your legs. You looked in the mirror, taken back by just how fucked out you looked, making yourself smile, George really did do a good job with his girl. You pulled yourself together, quickly, using a spell to fix up your hair and makeup, thankfully in time for Cherry to burst through the door. "There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you."

The small clip of her heels against the hardwood floor as you followed her to find Fred, was enough to pull you back down to earth, still high off the rush of ecstasy. It was no doubt she was wrangling you and Fred together for a picture opportunity, spotting George smirking as he clocked just how distracted you were. Smiling and posing for the cameras was second nature, Fred was watching just how happy you looked, his heart beating faster at the thought that you were smiling because of him. 

"Simply another perfect kiss from a star couple!" Cherry beamed before parading off to talk to the reporters. Fred's brow furrowed, "Another?" he queried, you'd realised now that he hadn't yet seen the paper with yourself and George caught on the cover. "She's probably comparing us to someone else, Freddie." you shrugged, avoiding his gaze. "Yeah, Probably." sadness falling to the pit of his stomach, the girl he was crazy for wouldn't even look at him, and he wanted nothing more than the electricity of his lips against hers once more, he needed it, no - he craved it. 

>>>>> Chapter 5

taglist //  @starlightweasley @slytherinsunrise @gcdric @theweasleysredhair @whiz-bangs78 @weasleysflowr @vogueweasley @minty-malfoy @vivianweasley @feetoffthetablee @thisismynerdyself @rip-us @witch-and-a-half @sarcasticallywitty15 @pandaxnienke @loony-loopy-lupinn @pigwidgexn@starkidpotty @mrmoonyy @mackaywhore​ @softlyqoos​ @colorfulprofessornickelangel​ @fandomscombine​ @satellitespidey​ @txtdreamss​ @aaannabbanana​ @kaylahmarie​

[metalbvcky]

Back in May, I made my first Stucky Ficrec post and months later, I’ve decided to make another since this fandom is hella talented. There’s a little over two dozen fics down below ranging from 10k-100k+ and everything’s categorized.

Do note that lot of these are Modern AU’s (I love those) and most of them are smutty. (yes hello, an asexual here who enjoys smut so very much) Also heed the tags once you click the link(s). Other than that, enjoy!!!

Key:  ♥ = My personal favorites, S = Smut, DS = Dom/Sub

a) CANON UNIVERSE

If You're Reading This, Steve Rogers by fallendarlings Words: 39,273 | Post/Canon Divergence 2012 Avengers/TWS, Recovery, Slow Burn

Nobody tells Steve it's okay to cry.

Nobody touches him.

Nobody remembers Steve Rogers is a person under the mantle. It's okay. He hasn't felt like a person since he watched Bucky fall.

don't threaten me with a good time ♥ by canistakahari - Words 10,106 | Post-TWS, Sick!Fic, Sick!Bucky, Cabin Fic

Steve's taken him on vacation to a cabin in Canada in the middle of winter, so it's obviously the perfect time for his body to go haywire. Bucky is determined to stick it out, though, partly because he's a stubborn bastard, but mostly because he feels some kinda way about Steve.

Higher Ground by EmilianaDarling - Words: 13,002 | Post-TWS, S, DS (undertones), Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve

“S’okay,” Bucky murmurs quietly, and Steve sucks in a sharp breath at the brush of Bucky’s lips against his ear, his breath hot against the side of Steve’s neck. There’s a hint of a grin in Bucky’s voice; amused affection and confidence and something heated beneath it all, a familiar tone from so long ago that makes Steve’s heart clench and his cock twitch helplessly in his jeans.

“S’okay, Stevie,” he says again, and Steve can feel the curl of Bucky’s lips against his throat when he smiles. His metal thumb is rubbing circles on Steve’s shoulder. “M’gonna take care of you.”

A year and a half after the events of The Winter Soldier, Steve's been acting recklessly. Bucky deals with it as best he can.

The Simple Life ♥ from The Simple Life Series by howler32557038 - Words: 114,329 (Series Total: 337,273 + ongoing) | Canon Universe, MPreg, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

"The simple life."

"You'll get there one day."

"I don't know. Family, stability...The guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out."

Bucky wants to be part of Steve's life. He wants to be an Avenger. He wants to be a good partner. Unfortunately, sometimes that means not telling Steve everything.

a road less traveled by Claudia_flies, cyclamental art (cyclamental),maichan, zilia - Words: 75,396 | 2012 Timeline AU, Post-Avengers 2012 (Endgame Divergence), Domestic Avengers, Recovering!Bucky

Steve wakes up on the cold stone floor of the foyer. He scrambles up; there’s glass shards everywhere and they crunch under his gloved hands. People are staring, holding themselves back. They must have seen the fight, must have seen two of him.

His own voice rings in his head.

“Bucky is alive!”

Kept Safe by Whendoestheshipsail (restricted to AO3 users only) - Words: 54,419 | S, DS, BDSM

Steve and Bucky are friends. Best Friends. If asked, Bucky would say he knows absolutely everything about Steve. Except when it comes to sex. Steve lives such a monastic existence that Bucky doesn't know if he likes girls, boys, or none of the above. For all he knows, Steve may have no interest in sex whatsoever.

But then a mission goes wrong, Steve is bleeding out from a wound to the femoral artery and Bucky is trying to stop the bleeding when his hand brushes against metal. Where there most definitely shouldn't be metal. Or a padlock. And most definitely not a torturously small cage.

48 hours by Whendoestheshipsail (restricted to AO3 users only) - Words: 25,894 | Post-CW, S, DS, Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve

Steve is keeping it together. No one would say he's keeping it together well, but he's getting by. Mission after mission, he goes back to his apartment in Wakanda and breaks down. Then he watches Bucky sleep and tries to not notice how everyone looks at him like he's the saddest bastard that ever lived.

But, this time is different. This time, Steve goes back to his apartment post-mission and Bucky is awake, out of cryo and making them dinner in Steve's kitchen. The breakdown is still happening. Bucky isn't pleased, but he does have a plan. For 48 hours after every mission, Steve is going to let Bucky take care of him or he's going to be on Steve's next mission. He can't risk losing Bucky again. Which should make the decision simple.

It isn't simple.

The Sex Therapist ♥ by Whendoestheshipsail (restricted to AO3 users only) - Words: 179,941 | S, DS, DKink, Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve, Current/Past Steve/Sharon

Sharon has given him an ultimatum- either go to sex therapy or it's over. Sex therapy sounds like normal therapy but more humiliating and expensive. It's total BS. He will go because she's making him, but he will also make everyone's lives miserable (Yeah, including his own) and never return again.

Do they have a lot of sex? No. Does Sharon want more sex? Yes. Does Steve do his best? Yeah, actually, he does. He can get it up, he just needs time. Alone. There's... preparation involved. It's not like one just 'is' aroused.

He can't explain it. And he won't. He definitely won't tell Bucky what exactly he thinks about to get worked up enough to screw his girlfriend.

Found My Place in Time - Cap_D, humapuma - Words: 12,492 | Post-EG (Divergence, duh) S, Fluff, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

“Buck,” he heard Steve say, “wake up. We’re here.” Bucky opened his eyes and rolled his shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension out of his back. When Steve’s words sunk in, though, he turned and leaned forward, staring past Steve’s chest to look out the window. Beyond the wing of the plane, he found a beautiful coastline with white sand, blue waters, and palm trees, as well as rows of bungalows on the water. “Wow,” he murmured. “We’re staying in one of those, right?”

In which Steve invites Bucky on a trip to Fiji and they discover something a lot more than beautiful vistas and friendly locals.

Total Institution ♥ from the Institutions of Love and Incarceration series by thelittlestpurplecat - Words: 94,303 | Canon Universe AU, Prison!AU, Guard!Steve, Prisoner!Bucky, Unrequited Love, Slow Burn, WS Trial

The Winter Soldier has been sentenced to life without parol. His entire world had been condensed to a hot, cramped cell that he hasn't seen the outside of in the four years since his apprehension. It's hell. He has no means of escape, no means of terminating his suffering, and no means of distraction...that is, until he's assigned a new guard. Steve Rogers is assigned the Winter Soldier as his singular charge. He expects a sadistic, violent murderer. What he finds instead is a broken, tormented man with no memory of his past life, and no control over what had been done to him. He's a victim. Not a monster. And Steve won't stand to see him pay for crimes over which he had no control.

Raise Your Glass by minkeys - Words: 10,008 | Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve, Light DS, S, DKink

Bucky knows Steve in ways that his 21st century friends could never even begin to imagine. Or at least, they couldn't until tonight. It's about time somebody corrected all those historians that painted Steve as a straight-laced, God-fearing soldier, and what better way to do it than over a harmless game of "Never Have I Ever." What's the worst that could be said?

b) SHRUNKYCLUNKS

Waking Up Slow ♥ by odetteandodile - Words: 44,638 | Dad!Bucky, Kid!Fic, Hurt/Comfort

In 1945 Steve Rogers crashed the Valkyrie into the Arctic Ocean and was never recovered.

In 2019 Bucky Barnes is walking along the beach below the decommissioned lighthouse where he lives with his sixteen month old daughter when he finds the body of a man washed up in the surf, half frozen but miraculously alive.

Bucky manages to revive him, but finds that the stranger has no memory of who he is or how he got here aside from a name: Steve. Snowed in by a blizzard soon after and unable to get Steve a medevac, Bucky discovers that the funny, good-hearted man slips into the fabric of his and Alice’s life faster than he would have thought possible. The two are undeniably drawn to each other, but as their feelings grow so does the looming possibility that the answer to the question “who is Steve?” might be much more complicated than either of them realized.

Isn't It Ironic? (Don't You Think?) ♥ by HeyBoy, Huntress79, imhereforgaysuperheroes - Words: 33,342 |  Jewish, Dad!Bucky, Kid!Fic

Bucky is used to his daughter bursting into tears in the middle of department stores. What he isn't used to is someone braving the wails and actually being able to stop Becca's tantrum in its tracks. Oh, and he's also not used to that someone being Captain America.

AKA, how Steve Rogers calms a screaming kid in Target and falls in love with two more Barneses than he had bargained for.

in my condition love's the best physician by aniloquent - Words: 9,177 | Pharmacy!AU, Russian!Bucky

“This situation is a little more delicate because I don't even know if he speaks English and I'm tired of going down to the pharmacy for constipation medication and allergy pills when I haven't sneezed since 1941.” Steve shouts.

The room falls silent, and he turns back around to find four pairs of stunned eyes watching him.

Tony, as always, speaks first. “He?”

Or the one where Bucky is a hot pharmacist and Steve keeps making up bullshit reasons to go see him.

c) MODERN AU

Home Is Wherever I'm With You ♥ by cydonic  - Words: 88,570 | Neighbors!AU, Slow Burn, Parent!Steve, Kid!Fic

This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.

That House-Flipper!AU.

if only you could see me (for the pie that i am) ♥ by bitelikefire (theoleo) | Words: 35,121 | Baker!Steve, WeddingPlanner!Bucky

In which Steve is the proud owner of Frost; a semi famous local bakery in D.C. And despite the overwhelming insistence that it’s about time he start dating, Steve swears up and down he isn’t ready for that.

Or as of recently, just doesn’t have the time because of Mr. Barnes. The highly demanding wedding planner on the phone who keeps asking for nearly impossible deliveries and maybe Steve would like to personally strangle him. Maybe.

(There is pie. And misunderstandings. But a lot more desserts and eye rolls.)

So Alive ♥ from the Brooklyn Heights Books Series by GottaSaveBucky (Cosmic_Entity_1of4) - Words: 109,074 (Series Total: 165,440 + ongoing) | Bookstore!AU (sort of), Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky, DKink

A man wearing a light denim jacket over a dark blue shirt came into the shop, a box tucked under his right arm. Despite it being late afternoon, he was wearing sunglasses with bright blue lenses, and his long, dark hair was pulled back in a messy little bun. A few strands had escaped, framing his strong, unshaven jawline. The man looked into the café, smiled widely, and waved in Clint’s direction as he kept walking into the bookstore, and Steve’s mouth went completely dry.

Beautiful, was the only word to describe that smile; straight, white teeth framed by full, lush, red lips, bracketed by laugh lines and an adorable dimple in his right cheek, a charming little chin cleft just visible under the light stubble—Steve was struck literally speechless. And that was before he got a glimpse of the man’s backside. Slim hips and a round, firm-looking ass led to long, lean legs that were encased in snug, dark blue jeans.

“Guh,” Steve said, watching the dark-haired man continue on to the back of the store.

The Penthouse Suite ♥ by elle1991 - Words: 15,873 | S, DS, BSDM, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky, Happy Ending

Bucky Barnes has the chance to earn $5,000 in one night. All he has to do is go to the penthouse suite of a luxury hotel and spend the night with his client, one enigmatic Steve Rogers.

The catch? Steve is a massive pervert, intent on using this one night to satisfy every single one of his many debauched kinks.

Even ignoring the big box of sex toys on the bed, Bucky should have known he was in trouble the moment Steve opened his mouth and said his first words: "My name is Steve Rogers, but you can call me Sir..."

Burnin' For You by GoldBlooded - Words: 15,753 | Firefighter!Steve, Detective!Bucky, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

Steve Rogers is Fire Captain of Brooklyn’s very busy Station 118. He wants three things out of life: People he can count on, for everyone to get through their shifts safe and sound, and for Sergeant James Barnes to get the hell off of his arson scene.

James Barnes is Detective Sergeant of Brooklyn’s very busy 107th Precinct. He wants three things out of life: A decent cup of coffee, good leads to chase, and for Captain Steven Rogers to get the hell off of his arson scene.

Everyone knows to steer clear when these two have to deal with each other. Everyone knows about their mutual dislike and sometimes hatred. But what everyone doesn't know? How they got to be like that in the first place.

Collar Full of Chemistry ♥ from the Rich People Are Wild Series by 2bestfriends - Words: 188,437 (Series Total: 219,519) | Heavy BDSM, DS, S, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

Steve is very rich and desperate to feel in control of his life again after a recent divorce has left him feeling bitter and lonely. When he keeps crossing paths with a disaster twenty-something, an unconventional solution presents itself. Steve's always been one for following his instincts.

Bucky is very broke and can't seem to catch a break, especially after some asshole fires him for one fucking mistake. So of course, it follows that he should sign a contract agreeing to do everything and anything that same asshole wants for a whole year in exchange for a payout that could finally change his life for the better.

Toothpaste Kisses ♥ by buckybees - Words: 18,736 | Dentist!Steve, Patient!Bucky, Amputee!Bucky

Sitting in the horribly antiseptic gateway to hell, otherwise known as the waiting room, Bucky was deeply reassessing his life choices. Maybe if he didn’t eat ice cream for every meal this wouldn’t have happened.

Steve's a dentist, Bucky's a patient. You know the drill.

Out of the Blue ♥ by IsabellaJack - Words: 37,564 | PreSerum!Steve, Detective!Bucky (and Sam!), Mystery!Fic

“Does she have family?” Barnes asks again.

Steve tries to remember. “I don’t know.”

“You sing her praises and don’t know a simple info like that?” Barnes huffs, looking irritated.

Love Is An Ocean Wide by fancyh - Words: 29,009 | Shapeshifter!AU, Orca!Bucky, Marine Biologist!Steve

When marine biologist Steve Rogers helps to rescue an injured orca from the marine traffickers Hydra, he has no idea how his life will change. Once rehabilitated, the orca is released and disappears, and a despondent Steve throws himself into his work, only to feel a spark when a new volunteer arrives, a man with one arm and curiously familiar blue eyes.

Bucky has lived in the ocean his whole life. But when his family is killed and his sister captured by Hydra, he is forced to turn to humans for help. One human in particular intrigues him, a man by the name of Steve. As Bucky comes ashore to search for his sister, he finds himself falling for the man, but dangerous secrets still stand between them.

Includes clueless-about-humans Bucky, heart-eyes-Steve, and lots of Very Important rocks.

Innocent Until ♥ by L1av - Words: 136,866 | Lawyer!Bucky, Defendant!Steve, DS, BDSM, Top!Bucky, Bottom!Steve

Bucky Barnes made a name for himself as the attorney who could get anyone off, but he still lives by the saying, "Innocent until proven guilty." Steve Rogers finds himself on trial for multiple homicides but he swears he was only trying to protect a girl. Bucky's been in this business long enough to know when someone's innocent, and Steve is innocent. Steve already feels like a monster and Bucky's worried this guy's going to lay himself on the sword come his trial. So Bucky offers up another course for punishment:

Turns out, chains and whips really excite Steve.

Brooklyn Syndrome ♥ by lordelannette - Words: 158,350 | DARKFIC, Dark!Steve (VERY DARK, heed the tags, you have been warned) Doctor!Steve, Writer!Bucky, Kidnapping, Slow Burn, Graphic Violence

Bucky's back was pressed against the cold floor and he stared through blurry eyes as Steve stood over him. He was trying to push himself as far away as he could, using his hands and bare feet to slide himself out from between Steve's legs but he couldn't find purchase against the wooden floor. Steve's legs were locked on both sides of his hips and Bucky couldn't move, couldn't get away, and the room was swimming before his eyes and he couldn't focus, couldn't think straight. All he could make out was the hazy figure of Steve towering over him and he lifted his arm to push uselessly at Steve's shin.

"P-please," Bucky whispered. His voice was weak, like him, and his jaw trembled as Steve reached down.

Steve slid down onto the floor and effortlessly gathered him into his strong arms, cradling Bucky to his chest as he leaned against the wall. "Bucky," Steve breathed. One of his large hands slid gently into Bucky's hair, the other curving against his spine and pulling him even closer. "You're mine now, remember?"

Steve's grip tightened then it all went black.

lay me down (tell me i've been found) by coffeeinallcaps - Words: 25,188 | Modern!AU, DS, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

The collar is a little on the heavy side, and incredibly soft against Bucky's skin. Even softer than he thought it would be. It seems to fit snugly, and for a second he feels like he can't breathe. Then, Steve slides two fingers under the collar and runs them along the inside, almost all the way around. Bucky shivers. Goose bumps spread down his back, his arms. "How does it feel?" Steve murmurs, hooking his fingers into the ring and giving a gentle tug on it. Bucky swallows. Nods.

(In which billionaire businessman Steve shows up and turns Bucky's life into an improbable fantasy.)

All Those Things You've Always Pined For by LavenderProse - Words: 92,142 | Family Man (2000) aka the Nicholas Cage movie AU, Domestic, Kid!Fic, PreSerum!Steve

“Steve Rogers. I haven’t thought about him in…God, at least ten years. Probably longer." “Who is he?” Sharon asks, and perches on the corner of his desk, hands folded in her lap. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Bucky clears his throat, tosses the sticky note onto the desk. “Steve was…my college boyfriend. We almost got married.”

It's been fifteen years since Bucky Barnes left Steve Rogers standing in a New York airport and never saw him again. Those fifteen years have brought him wealth and stability; everything his lower middle class Brooklyn upbringing had not provided. He is happy. He doesn't want for anything. He doesn't need anything. That's about to change.

Karma's A Fake Orgasm ♥ by daisymondays - Words: 51,637 | College!AU, Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, Slow Burn

There’s another abandoned mug, festering with mould in the living room — Steve offically has the world's worst roommates. And complains about them. Often. Bucky, tired of his lack of action, decides it’s time to avenge Steve's sleepless nights and unsanitary conditions once and for all. They’ll pretend to be the world’s most annoying couple: excessive PDA, loud fake sex, and general repugnance. The plan sounds easy enough; it will be strictly platonic. Or will it?

I'll Be Your Shield by 17 pansies (17pansies) - Words: 23,332 | Bodyguard!Steve, Rich!Bucky, Top!Steve, Bottom!Bucky

"If he's just minor nobility, why does he need a bodyguard?" Steve shoved the folder which held Barnes' details towards the middle of the table. "He's not exactly prime kidnap material."

"His parents aren't worried about kidnapping," Fury said. "They need someone to steer him away from the dumb ass situations he keeps getting into."

"You mean he needs a babysitter." Steve sat back and folded his arms. "Seriously."

I think this is a pretty diverse list :) There’s a good sample of everything here, some old fashioned post TWS recovery fics, some good dom steve/bucky, slow burns, fake pretend relationships and so forth!

PS: I’m on AO3 with more bookmarks plus my own hurt/comfort fics if anyone is interested :P

[chibicalzones]

what the characters of haikyuu smell like pt. 2

featuring: 𝐚𝐨𝐛𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐬𝐚𝐢, 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐡, and 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐰𝐚

read part one and three!

DISCLAIMER: (just in case) this is my sister’s first impression on some of the boys so don’t take it too seriously! 

warnings: touches on gender and sexuality at some parts. 

post made by: alex 🍒

— oikawa: peppermint

a worn out gifted kid

“he a realist” B)

understands his own worldly notions but won’t disagree with what you say

agree to disagree kinda person

gives good hugs

spends at least 10mins on his hair... every day

has a specialized shower routine

sleeps on the bus

enjoys analyzing the little thing in life

very tired. all the time.

could go to yale

single, straight, but picky

LIKES POETRY

TOUCH STARVED

“he literally looks like he got broken up with and now he’s trying to compensate by being zen.”

— iwaizumi: glade

smells like the gym after a rally with confetti on the floor

likes to mask thinks with his ambitions and determination

stubborn

anger stems from lack cooperation and team work

hard on himself and wants other people to be better

in it for the team but what he really wants is to win so he looks good on college apps

“i was on a national-winning volleyball team”

A / B student: only tried in subjects he liked but is always the teachers’ pet for that safety blanket

controlling?

definitely listens to mac miller

appreciates every single one of his friends 

straight. tries so hard to flirt but he’s just... not good at it

— matsukawa: mojitos

trying his best in life in the most sarcastic way possible

gets a max of 3 hours of sleep

just trying to live through life ya know? 

doesn’t necessarily have any goals

doesn’t know what to major in either

a hippie

lives in a van with his friends

probably works at a pet store and only has a fish and turtle at home

a middle child

doesn’t care enough for a relationship 

uses they/them pronouns

— aone: cottage cheese

old school, by the book

“he looks like he’s been through a lot like he’s a divorced father with two kids”

everyone is kinda scared of him

looks like that kind of parent that says he doesn’t has a favorite but he actually has a soft spot for the younger one 

doesn’t deal with anyones’ bullshit

excuses don’t exist in his life!

lowkey pessimist

makes his teammates drink protein shakes

wants to do what’s best for the team even though he knows nothing will satisfy him

thinks festivities are dumb

was ex champ on his team when he was younger 

straight and salty

— kenji: baby powder

is a child, inside and out

very very nice 

all honors 

has a plan for life but write it in english

really likes history archeology

thinks people’s pasts are interesting

church boy vibes

enjoys kpop girl groups but won’t admit to it

smiles with his mouth closed

daddy’s boy

really enjoys getting his hair played with

likes hugs

IS the little spoon

if you yell at him, he’d cry

or stare into the abyss and cry later when you’re not there

favorite holiday is easter

straight and taken but will eventually become bi

— kanji: dark chocolate with orange zest

an acquired person with acquired taste

fav pokemon is psyduck

has goals that he wants to achieve but he won’t beat himself up for it if he doesn’t reach them

easygoing on himself but not others

wanted to play basketball

dyed his hair to feel more like himself 

self sufficient person

in a friend group with girls and guys

bad at picking up signs

oblivious to anything besides sports and things actually concerning him

enjoys teaching

is asexual

— ushijima: swagger all spice

stern

a worn out gifted kid pt. 2

has a bad case of senioritis

determined, makes a strong effort for things to go his own way but more often than not, it does not work out

tough history made him a tough person

tough history being losing his past championship

a lot of girls like him

has all the girls, gays, and theys ;)

used to be a child model for the GAP

attractive kinda not kinda popular kid that people really like

mommas boy

single and pansexual 

— semi: axe body spray

still stuck in middle school

“being rude is c00l”

school bully

has an arch nemesis for his position on the team

cuts his own hair

wears oversized hoodies with jeans every day

has taste for older girls but they don’t want him

solid C student

doesn’t give people high fives

harsh

his parents don’t come to his games

single and determined to stay that way

— tendou: dominos pizza place

a social person

in a large friend group but he’s not the main character

eg. he’s not invited to every single hang out

individualistic

“every man for himself!” is his motto

type that goes for a high five and purposely misses

cheats in school

leaves right after the game is over

still tries to play it cool even when the team loses

not actually that socially popular

definitely bi

has a secret admirer but is single

— goshiki: fishcake

a naruto character

a determined fellow

has a brother that always gets the attention and is sassy about it

usually gets what he wants

his favorite holiday is halloween and spends it by watching horror movies

hates dressing formal

is in a really bad friend group

got really mad at his friends and left

if tried to hug him, he’d get flustered and push you away

straight and doesn’t want a relationship 

𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬!

— terushima: expresso

atheist

really really really likes going to the mall

would go anywhere you wanna go if he asked you out on a date

like psychology and is good at math

but he’s in CP classes

doesn’t like to be associated with other boys, likes to be his own person

one day, he wants to own a fashion brand or some sort of store

desperately wants to be an entrepreneur

as a kid he really liked gaston from beauty and the beast

bi!!! 

people like him but he usually want to go on a few dates to figure out his feelings

[in the tiniest voice] if you’ve made it this far, feel free to interact with us! 

[libraryofloveletters]

passing ships

Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz

Warnings: nothing, just being being idiots really 

Category: Angst 

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s Note: Takes place right after Buck’s return after the lawsuit 

AO3 Link 

----

Silence. 

No bickering, no fighting and no stupid jokes. 

Pure deafening silence. 

The two were no longer speaking, although they had the clear to- he couldn't bring himself to forgive him, not yet and truthfully he didn’t know if he would ever be able to forgive him. 

After what he put the team through, what he caused them and what he did to them- to their relationship. 

Buck and Eddie sat on opposite ends of the station, the blond on the couch and the brunette in the kitchen. Both glancing at the other when the other isn’t looking, hoping they’d think of something to say to each other. 

Everyone can feel the tension, it hits whoever enters their vicinity like a brick wall. 

Eddie blew up at Buck the day in the grocery store and since then, neither of them had spoken to the other unless they were in the field. They worked seamlessly there. Wordless communication, in-sync as always yet the moment they step off the truck, all of that goes out the window and they go separate ways. 

Buck came close to talking to him one day while unpacking the halloween decoration. Eddie had walked past him, the urge to call for him and tell him that he was sorry but he didn’t. 

A part of him knew that Eddie would forgive him but another part of him felt that Eddie would still hold it against him somehow.

Buck didn’t know Eddie as well as he thought he did. 

Eddie’s pace was much slower than normal as he passed by, his heart pounding in his chest just waiting for Buck to call out to him and to fix what had broken but he didn’t. 

---- 

“Dad?” the boy called from the kitchen table, his father’s back to him.

Eddie was washing dishes, the sponge in his hand and the tap running but his eyes were fixated on something outside the window. Christopher gets up and walks over to his father, turning off the tap then Eddie looks down. “Oh sorry bud, did you ask me something?” he puts the sponge down and turns to his son. 

The look on Christopher’s face was enough for Eddie to internally groan, not because of Chris but because of what he was about to ask. 

“Where’s Buck?” 

And there it was. 

“Buck’s been busy bud” Eddie tells his son. This wasn't a complete lie, from the overheard conversations in the station, it seemed like Buck had been busy. 

“When is he coming over? We were supposed to have movie night” Chris sounded sad. Eddie knows how much Chris loves and looks up to Buck and for him not to be around was killing him.. because of Christopher of course. 

“I’ll ask him tomorrow,” Eddie leans and kisses the top of the boy’s head. 

“Bed now, I’ll come tuck you in, in a minute” Eddie smiles until he can no longer see Chris then a heavy sigh is let out. Chris isn’t the only one that misses Buck. 

He did too. 

Regardless of what had happened, Buck had been his best friend for the last year and a half. The person he confided in, the one who had his back and most importantly, the guy who was basically raising Christopher with him. It had been so hard not being able to talk to him those few weeks that the lawsuit was happening and now that they can talk, he doesn’t know what to say. 

Where do you begin after that ? 

What you did was fucked up and I hate you but I don’t because I actually love you and I need you in my life. 

Yeah, there was no way he was going to say that to Buck. The thought of Buck was pushed back when Chris shouted that he was waiting. He shook the worry from his face, mustering up a smile as he stepped into Chris’s room. 

“Alright kiddo, bedtime” Eddie pulls the blanket over his son, sitting on the bed beside him now. Chris looks up at his dad, “are you okay?”

“Hm?” Eddie’s brows furrow, unsure as to what brought up the question.

“Are you okay?” he asks his father again. 

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?” he chuckles, his hand patting Christopher’s leg. 

“Okay” Chris smiles at his father, deep down he knew something was wrong and Eddie knew that his son knew that he wasn't okay but there wasn't time for that now. Eddie held himself together, he only had him and he had to be strong.

Eddie kisses Chris’s cheek, tucking the sides of the blanket in and turning on his night light. “Goodnight bud” he smiles from the doorway, about to shut the door. Chris calls out for his father once more and Eddie sticks his head back into the room, looking at Chris. 

“I love you” he says from bed. 

Eddie smiles, “I love you too.” the door shuts and his smile falls from his face. 

How much longer would he have to keep up this facade? 

When and how would they fix things? 

Because no part of Eddie wants to explain to Christopher why Buck isn't around anymore and honestly, Eddie doesn't want to lose him but he lacked the words to tell him exactly how he felt.

His room feels cold and empty, it usually is but this time feels like the house is running out of happiness and warmth and there’s nothing he could do to fix it. 

As he lays on his bed, his phone lights up. A notification from Chim, asking if he could help him move some furniture around. He answers and then he stares at the phone in his hand. 

“l’ll ask him tomorrow” his words rang in his head. He hits Buck’s contact- what to say and how to say it. 

To Buck: Are you free Saturday ? Chris wants to see you. 

Less than a minute goes by before his phone chimes. 

From Buck: I am. What time is okay for me to come over?

From Buck: Should I bring anything ? 

To Buck: I’ll drop him off at your place. I have something to do. 

From Buck: Okay. Is 6 okay ? 

To Buck: Fine. 

It was utter bullshit and they both knew that. Eddie had absolute nothing to do, in fact he was probably gonna go back home and hang out. It’ll be weird for him to be there when they aren’t speaking, hence why he's taking Chris to Buck and not letting him come to them because if they were at home, there would be nowhere for Eddie to avoid him. 

---- 

“Buck!” The little boy’s face lights up when he opens the door. 

“Chris!” Buck smiles with the same happy energy. The two of them hugging for a moment before Chris turns to say bye to Eddie. 

“Be good mijo, I'll be back later” Eddie kisses the top of his head before he walks off into the apartment. 

Buck looked at Eddie, his brows furrowed and he was chewing on his lip without even noticing. “You- You’re not coming in?” Buck asks quietly, his words barely coming out. 

Eddie shakes his head, “got stuff to do, text me when he’s ready to come home.” he hands Chris’s backpack over to him and turns the other way and down the hall. Buck steps out of the apartment, in the hallway in front of his door and he just watches Eddie leave. He wanted to run after him and tell him that he’s sorry but he doesn’t. 

The afternoon went by rather quickly, Buck and Chris catching up on what Chris had been doing at school, they began playing the new game Buck had gotten and they had pizza for dinner and ate on the couch while watching the sonic the hedgehog movie because Buck promised him that they would watch together.

Chris sat on the couch, his eyes glued to the tv screen until the end credits began rolling, then he yawns and sinks back into the pillows on Buck’s couch. 

“Tired?” Buck looks over at Chris who gives him a sleepy smile and nods. 

To Eddie: Chris is falling asleep, I think it’s time for him to get to bed

From Eddie: Ask him if he wants to spend the night. There are clothes in his bag

Buck was taken back by the message, not by Eddie suggesting that Chris spend the night because the 3 of them had sleepovers on a regular basis when he and Eddie were speaking but that Eddie was allowing him to stay. He assumed that because they weren't speaking that Eddie would want Chris to come home. 

“Bud, do you want to stay over? Dad said it’s cool” 

“Mhm, yeah” Chris’s eyes were shut, he was already halfway to dreamland by now. Buck smiled at the boy. 

To Eddie: He just fell asleep, you can pick him up around noon ? 

From Eddie: Okay

---- 

Saturday at 11:58am and Buck is dancing around his kitchen with a glass of orange juice in his hand. Chris had slept in and he made him breakfast. Buck was on his way to handing Chris the juice but he got caught up in the song that was playing. 

Christopher sat at the counter, laughing as Buck danced. Buck was slowly but surely making his way over when there was a knock at the door. He sat the juice beside the plate, pressed a kiss to Chris’s head and shouted that he was coming when the person knocked a second time. 

He pulled the door open, Eddie stood at the door with his arms folded. 

Buck gave him a small smile, “at ease soldier” he said jokingly, the joke had delivered and failed all in one, the smile on his face dropped too. 

“Is he ready?” Eddie looked at him, Buck stepped back so Eddie could see in. Chris was still sitting at the counter eating his breakfast, he smiled and waved when he noticed his dad at the door. 

“Do you want to come in?” Buck’s eyes silently pleading for him to accept the offer. 

“Sure” the one word was all he got from Eddie for the next 20 minutes. 

He spoke to Christopher and waited for his son to finish eating so they could leave. The tension in the apartment was heavy and uncomfortable, Eddie egging Chris to finish up every 5 minutes so they could get out of there. 

Buck had opened his mouth to speak multiple times, at this point there was nothing more that he wanted more than for Eddie to forgive him. 

The way his heart clenched in his chest whenever he saw Eddie or had to work with him wasn't normal. 

The way he smiled lovingly and stared adoringly at him wasn't normal either because friends don’t look at friends that way. 

Buck loved Eddie more than the average friend. He didn’t know if Eddie reciprocated those feelings but now he’d never know. 

“Bye Buck!” Chris’s arms wrapped around Buck snapping him out of his thoughts, his hand reaching down to rub his back softly. “Bye bud, thanks for hanging out with me” he smiles sweetly at the boy before looking at his father who was already waiting by the door with his bag. 

Buck walks Chris over to the door, they share one more hug before he steps out. Once again, Buck finds himself in the hallway wanting to go after them- after Eddie- but it’s like he’s frozen in time, he can’t bring himself to move towards them. Christopher smiles and waves before he steps on the elevator and Eddie, he just looks at him. Opening his mouth like he was going to say something but instead a sigh comes out, his gaze lowers and he joins Chris. 

It was a while before Buck heard from Eddie again. Usually, he would have texted to let him know that they got home and were okay but instead radio silence for the next 6 and a half hours. 

His phone chimes, rolling over and grabbing it off the table, there’s a notification from Eddie. 

To Buck: Thanks for last night, he had a good time 

From Buck: Thanks for bringing him over, I didn’t realize how much I missed him

To Buck: He missed you too

Buck was about to type a response when the little grey dots appeared, disappeared and reappeared. He waited, looking down at the phone in his hands watching as the dots appeared and disappeared. At some point, Buck put the phone down, he got tired of waiting. 

On the other side of the screen, Eddie sat on his couch with the phone in his hand. His last message to Buck telling him that Christopher missed him and he quickly typed out I missed you too but his finger hovered over the send button. Now reaching for the delete key, erasing the message. Eddie tried a few versions of that message. 

To Buck: I missed you so much you don’t even understand 

That one didn’t sound like him and made him seem desperate. 

To Buck: Chris wasn’t the only one that missed you 

What was he trying to do? Flirt with him? well.. maybe but this is not the time. 

To Buck: Come over, let’s talk 

Yeah if let’s talk is code for we’re probably gonna end up in bed. 

To Buck: I don't know what I want to say but I need you here, things aren't the same without you. 

This one felt right because it was the truth. Eddie had absolutely no idea what he wanted to say to Buck or if he would even say anything to him but he needed him. Things aren’t the same without Buck around, home didn’t feel like home without him. 

Finger hovering over the button but he deletes the message, the phone getting tossed to the other side of the couch before getting up to check on Chris. 

----

The men find themselves in this situation rather often. Eddie texts Buck asking when Chris can see him, Eddie drops off Chris or sometimes Buck picks him up and then when Chris comes home, Eddie texts Buck to say thanks.

Sometimes Buck is the one watching the little grey dots appear and disappear but sometimes Eddie is the one who finds himself in that spot. 

It was as if they were two parents sharing joint custody of their son and having that awkwardness of what to say when the kid isn't around and honestly, that was exactly their situation. They played nice and spoke the bare minimum when Chris was around or if Chris had a school event and asked for them both to be there, they would both be there with their best smiles on and they'd make small talk with the other parents but the moment they stepped back out of that building, all of that went out the window. 

Without Chris around, their conversations were nonexistent. 

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and they turned into passing ships in the night. 

--- 

taglist: @mrs-dr-reid​ @yelenabelous​ @ickletheficklepickle​ @dralexreid​ @imaginebuck (cause you wanted some buddie angst)

[wakandascrystal]

BET. I

Erik x BlackReader

Summary: Erik and his friends place a bet to get with you little does he know who you and family are. 

Part 2 

...............

It was a Sunday afternoon. Erik and his friends had decided to hang out at their regular spot. It was a joint Jadyn, Erik’s friend found. It had a music store in the front. Wall to wall with new and vintage CD’s, Tapes and Vinyl. But at the back was a lounging area, they served drinks. You also had the option to listen to what you had bought after.

Erik, Jadyn, Cole and Trey Had been coming here since high school. They loved it and they felt comfortable there. 

"Candice just texted me...Shit! I don't know what to do about her man. " 

Erik's friend Cole put down his phone and covered his face with both his hands after seeing a text from his ex-girlfriend.

Erik slid the phone down to his side of the table. "Let me see this."

He unlocked the phone and saw the massive text chain. 

“Are you still fighting with her?” Jadyn asked 

“Why do you even talk to her bro. She is so fucking toxic.....but then again she is thicker than a bowl o-“ Erik hit Trey in the chest 

“Shut up. He’s still in love with her. Don't do that. ” He let out a chuckle so did the others. 

“Are you done reading my shit.”

He skipped over the part where she was waffling about her feelings and read the last line.

"...Cole...she misses you and she wants to talk." Erik gave him a sly smile.

“We all know what that means?“ Trey let out. 

"I told you not to fall for bitches... pretty face, ass for days...now look. She be at your job, at your mom's....she acting like Mrs Cole Smith most of the time. "

Cole threw a punch at Erik's shoulder.

"Man stop acting like you the God at getting and letting go of bitches," Trey added

"You right I don't have to act. Cause I'm a God at that shit."

"that's because you're like Swae Lee...you only got one type...The high maintenance girls with daddy issues, who just wants to sit on your face and get a ride in your whip." Jadyn teased while throwing back a handful of salted peanuts

"Are you, by any chance insinuating that I only attract one type of girl and that I cannot keep any woman's attention," Erik said dramatically

Cole took a sip of his beer amused by Erik's realization. 

"Yes ...oh yes that exactly what I'm saying....since high school all the girls you've been with have looked the same...think about." 

Erik had never really thought about. He liked what he liked...so what, he thought.

"..There was Brenda, LaTisha, Linda..." Jadyn started raping the DMX verses. 

Erik deadpanned while Cole and Trey laughed out loud.

"....and the best part is even if you did go for a girl that wasn't your type ..she wouldn't like you....you suck when it comes to the romantic department. Man believe it or not but there are women out there who have standards."

"Any bitch would be lucky to have me look in their direction." Erik murmured

Cole coughed a bit and Erik felt offended.

"You very funny.... okay!... Check this out...prove it. You see that shawty over there..with the headwrap....the one in white." 

Erik turned. He saw you picking out vinyls. He looked you up and down.

"If you can get her to go on 10 dates with you and get her to drop the L word...and you can provide proof....we will give you 1 grand each."

"What! I do not have time for this bullshit." Jadyn blurted out

" Jadyn....tell me you don't want to see Erik The almighty pussy Slayer crash and burn.."

Cole egged him on.

While the three friends were arguing Erik locked his eyes on you. The Challenge sparked interest in him. 

You were different, definitely not his type. You had no large obnoxious name brand logo on your clothes or bag. Nor did you look like a conventional baddie that he usually goes for.

You looked like you smelled of vanilla and peach oils. Like you drank soya milk, meditated 3 hours a day and did yoga. He thought your body was cute..or nice ....the ass and titties could have been bigger though. Your hair didn't bother him. It looked pretty but he was just thinking about the logistics of it.

How does it look down?

How long was it? He wanted to know.

"Okay, I'll do it!" They went quite.

"You will?" Trey asked to verify

"Yeah. 10 dates? She has to say she loves me? Got It?” He was feeling confident. He leaned back in his chair. 

“Wait...one more thing you have to smash. “ 

“Yeah“ Cole shouted. “On the fifth date, you should have smashed... “ Erik nodded his head.

He stood up from his chair, downed his beer and walked over to you.

+++++++++++++++++++

“Why don't you get both.“ 

Your eyes shot up to him. He was too close to you so you stepped back wanted your personal space back. Erik noted that.

“I can't. I'm buying one for my dad and one for my uncle.“

“You're going to make your dad choose between Diana Ross and Ray Charles.“ You huffed at the stranger.

“He loves them both. But he can only get one.“ Erik looked over your face as you held the vinyls in your hand. Your face was soft and your lips pouty.

“What's your name?” he asked, eyes still on your soft golden skin.

“My name isn't going to help me pick one.“ you said in a whiny voice stressed about the decision you had to make. You really wanted to impress your father on his birthday. 

“ Well...I'm Erik..“

“I know. Your chain told the world your Erik...In what seems like 24k carats.“

“Okay ..let's make an exchange. I buy you any vinyls you want  and I take you out sometime.”

“Eww.“ Your outburst surprised Erik.

“Is that your game plan. Buy your way into my pants. I have my own money. Thank you.“

You move past him to the 90's sections. 

Browsing the Cds Erik followed. He had to come up with a better strategy. Throwing money at you wasn't going to work. He thought as you read the cd in your hand. 

Empathy. You looked like the caring type. Maybe you the type that falls for the weak and broken type of guy. He cleared his throat.

“Okay, my bad. I just...” He let out a fake sigh “ I just came out of a bad break up...Its been a while I mean.“

“....Shouldn't you give your heart time to heal from her....or him.“ You stepped away from him again. 

“Its been a year. I need to move on now.“ He looked down at his fingers, his face painted sadness. Of course, Erik was faking it but you fall for it. You noticed how handsome and tall he was. His locs. They were much shorter than yours but still suited him perfectly. He looked hurt. Seemed like whoever he spook of had hurt him pretty bad. 

“Y/N. My name is Y/N.“ 

“Y/N that's a beautiful name.“

“I'll make sure to tell my mom.“

Erik knew he had to act now while you were vulnerable to him.

“Let me take you out. One date if I bore you ...you won't have to see me again.“

“Okay.” You gave him your phone to type in his number, after saving it you warned him. 

“Don't mess with me, Erik. I'm serious. For your own good... “ You walked away to pay for the item you held to your chest. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #304

“she’s got a hold on me  /  maybe she is just what they want me to be”

How many foreign friends do you have? Only one that I know of that actually immigrated into America in their life. I think. In which countries do they live? She was born in Asia, either China or Japan. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? I either wanted to go to the skating rink or Chuck E. Cheese. Have you ever come up with your own game? As a kid, definitely. Whose hand did you hold last? Probably my niece's or nephew's if they were taking me somewhere. What was the last thing you planted? Habaneros, I think. Do you have a green thumb or are you all thumbs with plants? I don't really try with plants because I'm not interested in the maintenance. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? Does telling your therapist about another person and what they do to stress you out count? lol Any books on your night stand? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. Would you ever consider going vegetarian? I was briefly one, but I had to introduce meat back into my diet because I just hate too many foods needed to keep me healthy without meat. I would love love LOVE to go vegan, but I just can't. When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably holding open a door for someone in a wheelchair. What's the most selfless act you have done? I don't know... Maybe letting my mother use all my Christmas and birthday money (which was a lot) to take care of bills to keep us from being evicted and losing the car. She was going to pay me back, but then cancer happened. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? No. What makes you feel lucky? The fact I have a roof over my head, food on the table, access to water... That kind of stuff. Never take it for granted. How many Lidls are there in your town? One. Last time you went to Ikea, what did you buy? I don't believe we've ever bought anything from there? But I wouldn't really know. How do you like your favorite beverage? Really cold in a can, heeeeell yeah. What's your big family secret? We don't really have one. What did you think you were good at, until you saw someone else do it? I remember thinking I was the "gifted" artist in school until I met my acquaintance Cailin in the 5th grade, lol. She is SO talented. What is something nice going on in your life right now? My partial hospitalization program is going well. I'm getting more comfortable with talking via things like Zoom, it's a good opportunity for me to socialize with like-minded people almost every day, and I ADORE one of the teachers so much so that I want him to be my normal therapist. I have never in the entirety of my life felt less judged and more cared for from any therapist before him, and it's almost supernatural how easily this man reads people. You could twitch a certain way and he picks it up. I'm ready for him to teach more of the sessions. What was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child? The idea of owning one of those toy crane machines, haha. If I saw one in a store, I would like beeeeg for it. I remember I cried once when I came across one I adored, it was just too expensive, lol. I did eventually get a little one, I think. What's something that you hate, but can't live without? My meds. What skill do you not talk about, because you feel it sounds like bragging? I don't really brag about anything I think I'm good at because I feel bad about it and don't wanna emit a "better than you" vibe. Who's the worst person you've encountered on the Internet? Ahhh, a lovely "friend" nicknamed Shakes. God she hated me. If death wasn't a consequence, what would you try? Probably ride a motorcycle. I'm too scared to risk the possibility of crashing, and those wrecks are nasty. What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? There's this one video of a TV show host thinking the moon was a planet and it was just- What is the worst smell you can remember? This smell was forever branded into my memory as if it was fuckin trauma. When my late dog Teddy had a massive, infected cyst near his ~you know~ and also wore diapers because of incontinence with his age (also keep in mind he had a UTI we couldn't afford to fix, and that smells bad enough), changing the diaper he would wear overnight could, swear to God, be enough to make you puke. It literally came to a point that I personally could no longer do it. It sounds so so bad and selfish, and it probably is, but Mom had to do it before she left and came home from work; she's way less fazed by stuff like that than me. Yes, when we had the money, we got the cyst removed. What song gets better the louder it gets? Only like, every song I enjoy. The louder the better until it becomes obnoxious to others. What's the biggest inconvenience that does NOT ruin your day? Having to pee at like an unnatural frequency? haha What's something everybody should know how to do? Cook... which I don't know how to do. What is a great movie no one knows about? I'unno. I don't really know the success level of most movies unless you see stuff about it everywhere. What type of person could the world use less of? Rapists, pedophiles, monsters like that. What makes you tingle? I have this odd reaction to rubbing my hand while someone is holding it???? idk why????? What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen? Oh MAN, I wish I could remember 'em all. I've seen some goodies. What's easy to learn, but hard to master? God, it's pathetic that my immediate response is related to a video game, haha. Then again it's such a common idea that it's basically a meme in the World of Warcraft community. So, playing hunters in the game. They're argued to be one of the - if not the - easiest classes in the game that requires little to no skill, while as a hunter main, I disagree with the second part firmly. I don't know about the other specializations because I don't play them, but at least in beast mastery, it takes focus and thinking ahead to master your rotation for optimal damage and just to generally be a skilled player of the class. Not to mention you need to watch your pet(s), too. What's something you've changed your opinion on? Wow, LOTS. Tons of political ideas, like my stance on gay rights, transgender folks, etc... If you had a refilling bowl, what would you want it to contain? For some reason my mind immediately jumped to fresh strawberries. I'm picky with the firmness of fruit, so I won't eat them if they're older because ew. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? I mean this in the least creepy way possible, but Sara's house so we could actually hang out, Dad's house so I could see him more, and then uhhh South Africa to regularly see meerkitties. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? Oh, I dunno. I've got some for writers of other media, but I guess by "author," you mean this is for books exclusively. If you have caffeine late in the day, does it cause you to struggle with your sleep? Shit, I wouldn't even know because I essentially always have caffeine in my system. I don't believe it affects me. When you struggle to sleep, what do you do instead? Keep trying to sleep, or more common than not, I do exactly what you shouldn't do and get back on the laptop for a while. Who was the last person you spoke to for the first time? How did you come to speak to this person? My most recent therapist in the PHP. I love love love him. The therapists rotate the days they teach, and he was the last one I met. Are there any TV shows from your childhood that you still watch today? I'm not opposed to it if I actually watched television. Do you enjoy buying gifts for other people, or do you never know what to buy them? If I actually have the money to, omg yes. I honestly do think I create or buy very thoughtful gifts, and I just really enjoy reminding other people that I love and think about them. Who were you with the last time you went out for a meal? My sisters, Mom, and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday dinner. That place has come to oust Olive Garden as my favorite restaurant, haha. What’s the last thing you watched on TV? Is this a programme you watch regularly? I believe it was this amateur cooking show called Nailed It!, I think it was, with my mom when I sat in the living room with her for dinner one night. Do you have a favorite documentary subject (eg. nature, celebrities, history, crime)? Absolutely animals. Does having to wear a mask stop you from doing anything, just because you dislike them or find them uncomfortable? Do not fucking talk to me if you're anti-mask. If I set foot in public, I'm wearing a mask like a goddamn considerate human being. Do you prefer zip-up or overhead hoodies? Overhead. I really dislike the appearance of zippers on them. If you have a yard or garden, how much time do you spend out there? N/A When was the last time someone bought you flowers? What was the occasion? I think it was the first time Tyler came to my house. This was quite a few years ago. When was the last time you stayed overnight away from home? Was this with friends, family or in a hotel somewhere? What was the occasion? Hell, I'm pretty sure I haven't slept over anywhere since the last time I was visiting Sara, which was like, two years ago. What’s your favorite period to learn about in history? What got you interested in this particular era? The Renaissance; I always found it to be an attractive subject, art being in its "glory days" and all. My Art History course in college really hooked me in. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Homophobic bullshit. What's a job that doesn't get enough respect? As others have said before me, teachers might just top the list. The shit they gotta put up with for so little pay... What did you take for granted until you visited another country? I've never left America, so I wouldn't know. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I don't have a favorite; I don't know nearly enough about any. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? I'm from the emoticons era, so I'm biased, haha. How did you meet your pet? Roman was the kitten of one of my sister's mother-in-law's females. They have quite a cat problem and wanted to adopt the kittens out, and Mom knew I desperately wanted a cat, so there we go. One day when we were over there, she showed me the kittens, and Roman caught my eye instantly with his beautiful blue eyes. Venus, I "met" via the Morph Market, a reptile hub website for selling, as the name implies, reptiles that are generally morphs of their species. I was clicking through the genes, keeping my price ceiling in mind, and really fell in love with champagnes, and I thought Venus in specific was just absolutely beautiful. I officially met her as a little thing mailed to me, and she was and still is just the sweetest. I wanna point out that when I chose Venus, I hadn't the slightest idea that champagnes harbored "the spider gene," as otherwise I would have avoided adopting her and feeding the market. Regardless, I love her to death and wouldn't trade her out. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? I did as a kiddo, yeah. Do you enjoy erotic stories? If so, do you read them or write them? No; they make me really uncomfortable. When writing RP, some scenes can get sexual, but I have my limits for sure and know when to stop writing and just time-skip. If you had to choose, which one would you rather have: a pet or a baby? Keep the baby away from me. Gimme a plains hognose or tarantula, please. ^Why did you choose the one you chose? I don't want kids at all but would love the mentioned animals as pets. Do you live with your parents or on your own/with a partner? I live with my mother. What's the car of your dreams? I don't have a "dream car." Have you ever witnessed something or someone die? Animals, yes. Has anyone ever told you that you snore or talk in your sleep? I don't snore, but I talk a LOT. Do you have any houseplants? No. Are you more on a laptop or a desktop computer? I only have a laptop, and I prefer them for portability's sake. If you could do absolutely anything, what would you like to do the most? Entirely leave behind my anxiety, probably. Or PTSD. Do you think your parents raised you well? Yeah. Dad didn't really take much part in "raising" us/enforcing rules and stuff, but hey, my sisters and I wound up being good people. Do you have a Facebook? Yeah. Do you know any of your neighbors? Definitely not well. We haven't lived here long at all. Does/did any of your relatives have an interesting, nowadays unusual job? I'm sure somebody does. Have you met your ideal partner yet? I think so. Have you had a serious relationship yet? If so, how many? Yeah, two. Do you enjoy books, magazines or comic books the most? Books. Are your parents old-fashioned or up-to-date about certain things? Dad is more old-fashioned I think, while Mom is pretty up-to-date. Do you or did you at some point keep a diary? I very briefly did on a few occasions. I always had a journal I wrote in during all my hospital stays. Have you ever upcycled trash into useful items? I remember I once followed this craft idea on Animal Planet where you turn a milk jug into a bird house. We never got any birds in it, though. Which color Skittle do you like best? The only right answer is red. What’s your favorite element? Of the classic four, fire. If you had your own radio show, what would it be like? YIKES, I don't want one. Don't make me talk in front of (through a radio or not) people. What has been the biggest surprise you’ve ever gotten? An "impossible" breakup over Facebook Messenger lmaoooo. Is there a holiday you can’t stand at all? There aren't any that I "can't stand," but I do hold at least some degree of dislike of ones bastardized by religion. It's disrespectful as fuck. Who is your favorite person in the whole world? My mom. Has there ever been an activity you became obsessed with? I was definitely obsessed with RPing in my early teens. Like, I ALWAYS wanted to be writing it. What has been the strangest place you ran into someone from your past? I can't think of an occurance. What is something people tend to come to you about? Anything related to English and grammar. If applicable, what's the furthest you've traveled because of a hobby? For purely a hobby, definitely not very far, partially because I can't drive or afford travelling via plane or whatever. Do you have souvenirs from other countries? If so, what and from where? N/A What do you do when someone is talking to you about something you don't care about? Pretend to be interested to avoid being rude. Do you have Photoshop installed on your computer? Yeah. Do you put lotion on after you get out of the shower? No, but I need to. Has anyone ever given you a promise ring? No. Do you have any bruises on you? Yeah, on my shin. When getting in Ash's van the other day, I hit it against the thing that helps you step up into the vehicle. Because of my muscle atrophy, I, and I am not kidding, can barely manage to absolutely yank myself up there. And mind you, her van isn't even very high up at all. My legs are just that damn weak. Any changes in appearance lately? Gaining weight is fucking lovely. Who was the last person to call you babe or baby? Probably a gal friend commenting on a selfie or something on Facebook. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Sometimes. Do you actually care about other's problems? Probably too much for my own good. Have you ever gotten a teddy bear from someone? Besides my mom, I don't think so.

[emerald-equ1nox]

Décalcomanie || 9

Summary: He needed a job done and the only people who could do it hated each other. Well as they say, you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.

Series Trigger Warnings: violence, cursing, drinking, possible smut in later chapters

With a smile, (Y/N) pulled a hoodie on and grabbed Yoongi’s keys. “I’m taking your car!” she called.

“I’m sorry what?!” Yoongi exclaimed, poking his head around the doorframe of the bathroom.

“Your car, I’m taking it. I need to go to the library.”

“Um, I don’t think so. There is no way in hell that you’re taking my baby, take the bus.” (Y/N) shook her head.

“I’m taking the car and you can’t stop me.”

“Yeah I can.”

“Have fun chasing me in a towel bitch.” (Y/N) grabbed her wallet and hurried out of the apartment. She heard Yoongi’s footsteps on the hardwood in the apartment.

“(Y/F/N)! Get back here with my keys!”

“Nope! Go take a shower, you smell!” (Y/N) hurried outside to the car, unlocking it as soon as she saw it. Once inside she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. The drive to the library was uneventful and when (Y/N) got there she locked the car and went inside. She made a beeline to one of the open computers and logged in. After that, she plugged in her usb and printed out her acting resume before printing off a copy of the sheet music for A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into from Be More Chill. She grabbed the two things from the printer at the end of the row of computers she was sat at and then returned to the computer to sign off. Once she did that she spent some time browsing the shelves but decided against checking anything out. A tap at her shoulder as she stood looking at the small pin board on the wall caused her to jump. She spun around to come face to face with the redhead from the gang. “Oh! Um, Wonho right?”

“Call me Hoseok,” he said. “Wonho’s my nickname.”

“Well, Hoseok then, what are you doing here?” He held up a large book. It looked to be the first Game of Thrones novel.

“Returning this monster.” (Y/N) chuckled. “You?”

“Printing out my resume, I’m auditioning for a musical in about a month.”

“That’s cool.” Just then, (Y/N)’s phone began to buzz.

“Oh, that’s probably Yoongi,” she said as she pulled her phone out. “I’ve gotta go, but it was nice seeing you.”

“You too.” Hoseok looked like he wanted to say something else but simply waved as (Y/N) left.

“What’s up?” (Y/N) asked as she answered.

“You done yet?” Yoongi asked.

“I haven’t even been gone that long.”

“I know, but I miss you.” (Y/N)’s eyebrows furrow.

“Yoongi?”

“Could you swing by the store on your way home though? We need beer.”

“You just finished that six pack, you’ll be fine for a couple more days.”

“‘Scuse me,” Yoongi said quietly. The sound of hushed footsteps reached (Y/N)’s ears. “They just showed up.”

“What? Who?”

“Shownu and them. Well, not all of them but most of them. They said that Wonho would be here soon.” (Y/N) climbed into the car and sat the stack of papers in her hand on the passenger's seat.

“Yeah, I just bumped into him.”

“Seriously?”

“Mhm.”

“Damn.”

“I’ll head to the store right now. I’ll get a twelve pack and be there in a bit.”

“‘Kay. See ya.”

“See ya.” The sound of another, less quiet pair of footsteps reached (Y/N)’s ears.

“Love you baby,” Yoongi said quietly, fondness saturating his voice.

“Love you too,” (Y/N) replied in case whoever had walked over to Yoongi could hear her. She hung up and pulled out of her parking space before making her way to the convenience store down the street. She grabbed a twelve pack and a bottle of Coke and took it to the cash register. She pulled out her credit card and her ID and slid both across the counter to the cashier. After grabbing her purchases and returning her cards to her wallet, (Y/N) exited the store and went to the car. She noticed a small scrap of paper under the windshield wiper and cursed. “Please don’t be a ticket, please don’t be a ticket.” She hurried to the car and plucked the paper up. The words scrawled across the paper chilled her to the core.

The same handwriting from the bathroom mirror stared up at her. You’re not fooling anyone, the note said. “Motherfucker.” She unlocked and opened the car, placing the twelve pack in the passenger’s seat on top of her papers and placed the Coke bottle in the cup holder. She closed the door forcefully, sliding the piece of paper in her pocket and putting the key in the ignition. The drive to the apartment was filled with (Y/N)’s nervous mumbling. It seemed all too obvious that Hoseok was the one who did this, way too obvious. When she got to the apartment, Yoongi was stood outside. He pushed off of the side of the building and strode over to the car. He opened the door for (Y/N) and grabbed the twelve pack as she handed it over to him. He watched as (Y/N) grabbed her soda and papers before climbing out and shutting the door. He held his hand out to her once the car was locked and (Y/N) grabbed it. She pressed the slip of paper into his palm with a sigh. “We have a problem.”

“What?” he asked.

“You’ll see when you read the note.” Yoongi frowned slightly before pressing a kiss to her temple as they started walking down the hallway to the apartment. When they walked in, they were greeted by six smiling faces. “Okay, that’s creepy.” Yoongi chuckled.

“Look at Wonho,” he muttered. (Y/N) searched for him and when her eyes landed on his face she almost snorted. The best way to describe his expression was constipated. Yoongi sat the twelve pack on the coffee table before grabbing himself one. He pulled (Y/N) behind him to the arm chair to the right of the couch. He then sat down and pulled her down into his lap. (Y/N) sat across his lap, one arm around his neck and the other in her lap. Yoongi took her papers and sat them on the floor before opening his beer and taking a drink of it, watching as the other men all grabbed one as he did so. His arms wrapped around (Y/N)’s waist and he tapped at the can in his hand, feeling the slip of paper he held become damp. He discreetly slipped it into (Y/N)’s pocket under the guise of simply letting his hand rest on her thigh.

“So, what brings you guys here?” (Y/N) asked as she leant into Yoongi’s chest.

“Just wanted to get to know you guys better,” Hyungwon, the one that Yoongi and (Y/N) had dubbed “Shōjo man,” said simply. Yoongi hummed quietly.

“What d’you wanna know?” he rumbled.

“How’d you guys meet?” Minhyuk piped up.

“High school,” Yoongi and (Y/N) chimed.

“Junior year,” (Y/N) said with a smile.

“Best day of my life,” Yoongi said. The look in his eyes was extremely believable and even (Y/N) felt like she believed his fictional statement.

“I thought that was the day you got the car.”

“Okay, second best day of my life.” There was a collective chuckle from the men in the room.

“How long have you guys been together then?” Jooheon asked.

“Since our last year of high school,” Yoongi said, “so seven years.”

“Damn,” Shownu laughed, “where’s the ring man?” (Y/N) blushed lightly when Yoongi grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly

“Someday dude, someday.” A small chuckle left (Y/N)’s mouth.

“Yeah,” she said, “twenty years down the line when we’ve got two kids, a house, and a mortgage.” The other guys laughed as Yoongi frowned slightly.

“Rude.” (Y/N) laughed and leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

“You love it.”

“True.” There was a beat of silence before Kihyun piped up.

“Where are you guys from?” he asked.

“I’m from Daegu, she’s from Seoul,” Yoongi said. “I moved up here back in the summer before junior year with some friends to pursue my music career but that obviously hasn’t panned out yet.”

“Which is bull,” (Y/N) spat. “He’s hella good.”

“What do you do?” Changkyun asked, perking up.

“I rap,” Yoongi said simply.

“And?” (Y/N) egged.

“And play piano and produce my own stuff. Doesn’t really pay the bills though.”

“No, but we are lucky in that Dad was willing to help you with your music.”

“Yeah, still think he hates me though.”

“Bullshit! He loves you, he thinks of you as the son he never had.” Yoongi shook his head.

“Sure.” (Y/N) smacked his chest lightly.

“Stop doubting yourself.” She pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before leaning down to set her soda on the floor. Her head dropped into the crook of his neck and she glanced lazily at the others out of the corner of her eye. Yoongi began to rub his hand up and down her back as he conversed with the other men in the room. The conversation revolved heavily around Yoongi’s music, Changkyun being the most interested.

“Could I hear something?” Changkyun asked, giddy smile on his face. The chuckle that left Yoongi’s lips was a very real one.

“Maybe later kid,” he said simply, the soft smile on his face betraying the happiness that simple question had brought him.

“That’s a yes,” (Y/N) stage whispered as she brought her hand up to thread through the hair at the nape of Yoongi’s neck. Yoongi pinched her side slightly, soothing over it with his thumb after wards. (Y/N) stayed perched in Yoongi’s lap, watching the men across from them with lazy eyes. She would occasionally let out a small laugh or give her two sense but she found it much easier to simply observe. When their seven visitors decided to call it a night, Yoongi pushed on (Y/N)’s side lightly to get her to rise. The two saw the others to the door and waved as they left, sighing exhaustedly when the door was closed.

“I need a drink,” (Y/N) exhaled as she made her way to the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of wine and leant up against the counter, watching as Yoongi walked in holding a beer. He leant against the counter across from her, studying the way she sipped from her glass. No more than a few seconds passed before he pushed off of the counter and crossed the small distance between them.

His hand fished into her pocket and he pulled out the slip of paper. He unfolded and read it, eyebrows furrowing. “It’s gotta be Wonho, he was the only one not here when the others showed up.”

“Yeah, but that’s too obvious.”

“Well how could any of the others have done it?”

“They’ve got people under them, it’s not hard to tell one of them to tail me and put it on the windshield after they realized that I wasn’t here.”

“Yeah but how would they know what the car looked like?”

“They could’ve been following me since I left.”

“And not put it there while you were in the library? They had the most time then compared to what they had when you went into the store.” (Y/N) sighed heavily before shaking her head.

“What have we gotten ourselves into?” Yoongi frowned slightly before smoothing a hand over (Y/N)’s hair.

“A gang Sweetheart.” The soft way that Yoongi said the pet name felt like something akin to home, something (Y/N) hadn’t had in awhile. And it scared her. Yoongi wasn’t someone who was supposed to make her feel at home, he was the one person standing between her and her father’s favor and she was supposed to hate him. She did hate him. But then why did she giggle at the pet name that had lost its meaning after everyone decided to call her it more than they did her actual name? Why had she leant into the light kiss he had placed on her temple earlier as they walked into the apartment building and why had she felt a sense of loss as she left his grasp to see the others to the door? And most importantly, why was it that everything Yoongi did to make the relationship seem real actually felt real? This whole thing was supposed to be an act, just like all of the other missions like this that Yoongi had been on and all of the past musicals that (Y/N) had taken part in. So why was it starting to feel real?

[lukin08]

First Time For Everything

A/N- Part one of two.  This is a selection of the A Major Life backstory because I can’t help but fill in the story.  For @kristoffxannafanatic​  because she has been patiently waiting for this.  Master Post here   

Words: ~ 4600

Rating: T+ (drinking and mentions of sex)

Part 2

“I don’t believe you.”

Sven jogged forward to get a good look at Kristoff.  

“No fucking way.”

Kristoff met Sven’s eyes before darting them back down at the ground and shrugging.  “What reason would I have to lie?”

“I suppose not.  Maybe the other way around but-“ Sven stopped, his hand clamping on the front of Kristoff’s shoulder.  “I thought you said you two talked about this weeks ago.”

“We did.”  Kristoff shook off Sven’s hand and picked up the pace.  The spring nights still had a bite of cold to them and they had a bit of a walk left to pick up Anna and head over to the house.  And maybe if he stayed in front of Sven, he’d drop the conversation and they could continue the walk in silence.

“So she still wants to?” Sven didn’t waver, keeping up with Kristoff stride for stride.

“…Yes.”

“And you told her you did too?  You actually said those words to her?”

“Yes.  Why are we rehashing this again?”

“Because!”  Sven threw his hands up.  “I’m trying to understand how your smart, amazing and gorgeous- I’m using your words here- girlfriend tells you she wants to sleep with you and you still have failed to, weeks- as in plural- later.”

“I didn’t fail at anything. It’s just…  I don’t know… There hasn’t been a good time.”

“Don’t try to tell me you are still hung up on what you said and on worrying it’s going to ruin things between you two.”

Then Sven was laughing and all Kristoff could do was scowl and shove his hands in his pockets while he kept his focus down at the sidewalk.  He shouldn’t have told Sven that.  In fact, he shouldn’t be having any part of this conversation with him. But Sven was one of the few people he trusted to confide in.  As much grief as Sven gave him, he still listened and often was the voice of reason for Kristoff.

The whole thing was dumb, he knew it.  He never was one to hesitate on these type of matters before, not that there were that many. Why should he start now?  But he also hadn’t had anything this serious since he started college.  Kristoff had come here with two purposes- make the most of his scholarship and focus on baseball and getting drafted.  Anna had thrown a wrench into that plan.  A huge giant fucking wrench that had him questioning everything he thought he wanted.  

It wasn’t like Anna was any help as of late either.  At first she agreed waiting, at least for a little bit, was a good idea.  But after they had their little talk, the gloves had come off.  Anna was determined to move forward and his stalling only egged her on.  She had resorted in the last weeks to teasing him any way she could until his resolve broke.    

There was no denying he wanted her.  There hadn’t been a day he didn’t think about it- even before they were dating.  Kristoff had spent the better part of the fall semester under cold showers or working out to the point of exhaustion just to keep her out of his head and convince himself that he absolutely did not have feelings for Anna.  Such lies he had tried to tell.

“I know every relationship is different.  But I haven’t known you to exactly hesitate before.  Run scared if anything remotely starts to develop, yes.  But not up front.”  Sven’s words pulled Kristoff back from his thoughts.  “If this is what she wants and I know you do, coming up with bullshit excuses isn’t going to help the situation.  You should just go for it and get it over with.  Otherwise, you’re just making everything weird. Don’t make it weird.”

“Why the hell do you care so much about this?”

Sven grinned. “Because you smile more now.  It’s nice to see you happy.  And I like her.  …And she’s still into you after knowing you for this long, which is a feat in itself.”

Kristoff shoved Sven hard so that he stumbled off the sidewalk.  He came back, his smile wide.  He moved close and lightly tapped Kristoff’s cheek.  “I’ll make a man out of you yet.  Let me know if I need to find a place to crash tonight.  Now pick up the pace.  The party’s probably really getting going by now.”  

 Anna was talking a mile a minute as they walked to the house.  She was discussing with Sven the list of people they thought would be there and catching Kristoff up on what she had been up to since they had seen each other last.  Sven had seemed to take a shining to the two friends Anna brought with her and the three of them were walking together.  

Anna squeezed Kristoff’s hand and smiled up at him. “It should be fun tonight.”  

The way Anna was looking up at him almost made him look forward to the party.  He usually wasn’t one to go out unless Sven dragged him out.  But one of his teammates had approached him and Anna after a game with the invite.  She looked so excited. She said the party sounded like fun and she was so beautiful when she smiled at him like that and there was no way he could say he didn’t want to go.

Anna removed her hand from Kristoff’s so she could wrap both arms around his.  She held him tight and he could feel her slowing them down and putting some distance from the others.

“Do you like my outfit?” Anna’s tone was casual, but under it was hints of mischief.  

He choked back a laugh. As if she didn’t know the answer to that.  The only thing running through his head since they met up with Anna was the dress.   Dark and short and tight… really, really tight in all the right places.  Yet, it was still classy with long sleeves and a neckline that made him want to kiss along it; the dress looked like it was designed with only her in mind.  No, he hadn’t given it much thought at all.

“I wore it just for you.”

Kristoff tensed at her words and he balled his hand into a fist.  When he glanced down at Anna, she was looking ahead.  But there was a knowing smirk across her lips.  She had him exactly where she wanted him.

He leaned down and met her ear.  “You’re killing me right now.  Do you know that?”

Anna just smiled innocently and hummed out, “exactly the point.”

“We may have to take Sven up on his offer.”  Kristoff’s eyes widened.  He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.  And now Anna was looking up at him wanting to know what he meant.

“What offer?”

“Well-” Kristoff paused. “He said, no really offered… I didn’t ask him to do this.  But he offered to… um…  well, to let us have the apartment to ourselves if we wanted tonight.”  He winced at the end and quickly added. “Not that there are any expectations.”

Anna was quiet, taking in what he told her, but quickly brightened up.  “I knew there was a reason why I liked Sven.”

Then, in a blink of an eye, she was calling out to her friends, pulling him along to catch up with them.

 The house was like it was every time; a line out the front with someone taking money from any of the guys so they could get in.  They bypassed the front, walking along to the side entrance and earning glares from those still waiting to get in.  Sven knocked on the door.  It swung open and they were greeted by one of the brothers, who gave Sven a quick nod and ushered them in.  

Having teammates living in the house had its perks.  Kristoff could barely stand going out most nights.  There was no way he was ever going to wait in line, let alone pay to get in for some cheap beer and loud music.  But tonight felt different.  As much as he initially didn’t want to go, Anna’s excitement had rubbed off on him and he found himself looking forward to what the night had in store.

Kristoff grabbed everyone’s jackets to go stash them safely in his teammate’s room.  He found everyone back in the large kitchen, Sven’s hand holding out a beer for him.  This could technically get them in a ton of trouble if they were caught. But from what he had already noticed, practically the entire team was here, so at least they’d go down in a pile of flames together if they were.  Kristoff was quickly surrounded with pats to the back, half hugs and he introduced Anna to any of the guys she hadn’t met yet.

It wasn’t long before someone showed up with a bottle and the shots were passed.  The hard edges around Kristoff softened and he found himself smiling more, laughing more.  Whenever he looked at Anna, she seemed to be glowing from within.  The night began to fast forward, minutes and hours skipping by. From time to time Anna and Kristoff would separate.  She’d usually head to the dance floor with her friends and Kristoff would usually be approached by one of his teammates to talk.  Sometimes he’d position himself just right so he could watch her dance, completely enthralled with her every move. Then her hand would snake around his back and he’d be greeted with her warm smile again.  Kristoff didn’t remember a night he had so much fun and he found himself hoping they would have a chance to all go out again soon.

The group had once again dissipated and Kristoff wandered into another room.  He found a quiet spot and leaned against the wall, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt to cool down a little.  He dug in his pocket for his phone.  Kristoff knew it had to be getting late, but there was a twinge of disappointment when he saw he was correct.  He’d have to try to wrangle everyone soon.  Or maybe just Anna and let everyone else fend for themselves. Kristoff’s head fell back to the wall and a lazy grin came over his face as he enjoyed the moment of solitude.  

“What are you doing over here all by yourself?”

Kristoff lulled his head to the side.  Anna was walking to him.  He gave her a half smile back, more disarmed than normal, then shrugged.  “It’s quieter over here.”

She reached for his hand and tugged it.  Kristoff looked down at her.  “What are you doing?”

“Trying to get you to go dance with me.”

“And how do you think you will get me to do that?”

“Because you think I’m cute and you’ll do whatever I ask.”  Anna pulled his hand lightly again and Kristoff found he was following her in the direction of the music.      

“You’re just taking advantage of me and, what do they say?  My lowered inhibitions.”

Anna laughed.  “If it works, then I totally am.”

Kristoff stopped them. Anna let out a squeak at the sudden halt as Kristoff pulled her back flush to him and wrapped his arms around her. “You’re wrong,” he said into her ear. “I don’t think you’re cute.  You’re beautiful.”

Anna let out a loud laugh and rolled her eyes.  “Come on you sap.  I love this song.”  She grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor.

Apparently Kristoff danced now.  He didn’t know at what point he decided this was acceptable, but Anna had already figured him out.  All it took was the right look from her and he was putty in her hands.  The music was blaring as the song switched over to an even faster one.  Anna was moving to the music, lost in its drumming beat. Kristoff watched dumfounded as her hair swung freely and her bangs slick with perspiration matted against her forehead. He barely moved, shuffling back and forth with his feet mostly, but in the dark no one would notice him anyway.

Her hand met his side and slid up until they met his shoulders.  Anna looked up at Kristoff with a grin and locked her body to his.  She began moving them together to the beats. He found he was freer, looser and melding next to Anna with each of her movements.

Kristoff loved how Anna could move her body, had stood there mesmerized as he watched her on the dance floor earlier.  It was entirely different now that she was pressed up against him, their bodies moving in sync.  The rest of the house seemed to disappear around them and all of Kristoff’s focus was on Anna, the feel of her, the smell of her, how she fit with him just right.

Then it was over far too soon and Anna stepped back, her hands pulling away from his waist to move back up his chest.

Anna looked at him, breathing heavily.  Her eyes were dilated and she swayed slightly.  She licked her lips and her eyes set on Kristoff.  She went on her tip toes and snaked her arms around Kristoff’s neck, pulling him closer.  She tilted her head, pausing with her lips centimeters from his.

“Anna,” he breathed. 

“Kristoff, I- “ she stopped herself and glanced away.  Then she looked back at him.  “Kiss me,” she said before losing her balance and falling further into him.

“You’re drunk,” he said with a laugh as he steadied her.

“So are you.”

“So?”

“So, kiss me.”

So he did.

 Kristoff didn’t know how they ended up on the couch or that there even was a couch in the house not shoved in some side room to keep away from the party.  Anna was running her hand through his hair as she kissed him, leaning on him and practically straddling him.  At some point he heard Sven’s voice float by with some snarky comment. But Kristoff was too preoccupied with what was in front of him to care.

Eventually they managed peeled off each other.  Anna disappeared to see if her friends were still around while Kristoff went off to grab their jackets.  Sven gave Kristoff a look when he came back down, but after seeing Anna’s wobbly steps and knowing his own head felt like it was floating, he motioned for Sven to come with them.  

By the time they got to the apartment, Kristoff was carrying Anna on his back and he was pretty certain she had nodded off.

“Why’s Sven here?” Anna asked slowly as they came up the stairs.

“Because he lives here.”

“No, he’s- …he’s supposed to go somewhere else.”  Anna flicked her hand on at Sven and giggled.  “Bye, Sven. Go.”

Sven looked at Anna then to Kristoff with a smirk.  “You want me to break the bad news or-“

“He’s staying here.”

“What!  Why?”

“Shh! Because he’s going to sleep.  We’re all going to sleep.”

Kristoff could feel the pout on Anna’s face along his shoulder.  He stared over at Sven, willing him to get the door unlocked before Anna would say anything else out in the hall.  As soon as they got inside, Kristoff set Anna down on the couch. Sven flopped down on the other end and started checking his phone.  Kristoff noticed Anna struggling to undo her shoes and kneeled down in front of her.

As soon as he began unclasping the strap, Kristoff heard a faint gasp from Anna.  It made him pause, made him start thinking about the feel of her in his hands.  Kristoff set his gaze on her legs.  He lingered as he continued up, admiring once again Anna’s dress and how perfectly it fit her and how much he wanted his hands on the curves of her body.  When his eyes finally met hers, he could see her intentions written across her face.  Her bottom lip was caught between her teeth and her eyes were set on his. Kristoff moved to Anna’s other leg, not breaking eye contact with her as his hands slowly trailed down from her knee down to her foot.  Kristoff could feel the muscles in her calves.   He was always so amazed at Anna’s strength, especially for how small she was.  He loved that feeling.  It reminded him of everything he wanted to do to her and how infuriatingly unfair tonight turned out to be.

Kristoff shook off his thoughts and popped up, holding out a hand to Anna.  “C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

“Yes, please!” Anna said as he pulled her up.

“To sleep,” Kristoff added. He shot a glance at Sven, who was still buried in his phone and looking completely oblivious to them.  Kristoff put his hand on Anna’s lower back and began to lead them to his room.  “I’ll get you a shirt.  I have shorts too, but they probably won’t-“

He was up against the wall as soon as they were in the hallway.  Anna’s hands moved up his chest as she pushed against him.  Strong, yes she was definitely strong.    

“I don’t want to go to sleep,” Anna purred.  Her hands roamed up to his neck and she pulled him down forcefully to meet her lips. Kristoff couldn’t resist.  He kissed her back, more urgently than he ever had before.  When she parted her lips to deepen the kiss, he thought it was all over for him. Kristoff pulled Anna closer to him and was lost in the feel of her body against him.  It wasn’t until her hand ran up his thigh to the front of his jeans that Kristoff’s eyes went wide and he was shot back into reality.

“Anna-“ His voice was an octave higher and he had to grab her wrists to get her to stop.  “Not like this.”

“Why?” She protested.

“I don’t-“ Kristoff silenced himself, acutely aware how they were still in the hallway.  He pulled Anna into his room, closing the door behind them.  “I don’t want our first time to be like this.  And I know you don’t either.  Not when we’ve been drinking and… just not like this, okay?”

“But I want to,” Anna countered.  “I’m tired of waiting and I know how you feel about me.  So it’s alright.”

Kristoff tensed at her words.  He looked down at her.  She was holding his forearms to keep from swaying, but when she looked back at him, he knew she was telling him the truth.  

Anna pushed off him. She sat down on the bed and patted the space next to her.  Kristoff sat down tentatively.  “You’re trouble, you know that, right?”

She gave him a knowing smile and moved to sit on his lap facing him.  Her fingers combed through his hair and he let out an appreciative groan.

“You know you like it.”

“Maybe just a little.”

Kristoff was the one to lean into the kiss first this time.  Anna was so open for him, so pliant in his arms.  He didn’t want this feeling to ever end.  He knew what she was doing when she nudged him down on the bed, saw her look of mischief as she looked down at him.  He didn’t stop her when she told him she wanted to make him feel good and watched as she slowly backed down the bed and began to unbuckle his belt. His head was full of soft swirls and haze and all the protests he had prior no longer seemed like a good idea.

The closing of the door to Sven’s room, made them both flinch.  Kristoff stopped Anna, pushing lightly on her shoulders.  “We should lock the door,” Kristoff whispered.  Anna jumped off the bed and that’s when Kristoff caught it. She was still unsure on her feet, holding herself along the wall to steady herself before reaching the door.

Kristoff sat up.  As much as he had been enjoying this, his mind was screaming at him to stop.  They hadn’t gotten very far yet- he even still had his jeans on.  He stood up and enveloped Anna in a hug, partly to make sure she didn’t think he was rejecting her, but mostly to hold her still.

Finding something for Anna to wear was easy enough.  Dealing with her was not.  She kept coming up to him, kissing him, pulling her dress down so Kristoff could see her lace bra that was entirely too sexy to keep his eyes off.  

He tried to leave so she could get changed, but he heard her hopping around trying to get the dress unzipped before he was able to get out of the room.  There was more movement behind him then an ‘oops’ by Anna as she bumped into his desk and he heard his bats leaning against it fall, bouncing off each other until they hit the floor with a loud clatter.  

“Stay,” Anna whispered then giggled.

Kristoff sighed and turned back to the bed.  “Come here,” he said, laying on top of it, knowing Anna would follow.

She did and as soon as she got close to him, Kristoff took his chance to drape his arm around her and pull her to his side.  Anna didn’t fight it.  She sighed and snuggled up closer to him.  “Okay, maybe I am a little tired.”

“Anna?”

She didn’t respond.

“I’m going to get you out of your dress, is that okay?”

Anna mumbled something and nodded her head.  Kristoff took it as a yes and carefully slipped one of his t-shirts over her and unzipped her dress underneath it.  Anna was still awake enough to move her arms or head for him and he was able to get her back in bed and under the covers.

After quickly changing into a pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt, Kristoff headed to the kitchen for water to bring back to the room.  Finding only one bottle in the fridge, Kristoff grabbed it and slammed the door.  Of course, Sven had forgotten to fill up the water… again.  Kristoff groaned and his forehead met the fridge.  He wanted to yell at Sven, but knew it was only deflecting his frustration.  

Things had been a giant mess since they walked into the apartment.  All he could think about was Anna’s hands on him, running down his chest, his thighs, over him, unbuckling his belt.  He banged his head against the appliance.  He needed to get that out of his mind or he’d be obsessed with it all night. He hated that the night had turned out like it did, relieved he was able to stop her, but almost wishing he hadn’t.

“You two are the biggest idiots I’ve ever met.”

Sven strolled in behind Kristoff and pulled a glass from the cabinet to fill at the sink.  He turned around, took one glimpse at Kristoff standing there with his forehead against the fridge and lost it.  Kristoff could only manage to twist his head enough to glare over at him.  

Sven calmed down finally, wiping the tears from his eyes.  He walked up to Kristoff and pushed him out of the way, throwing open the freezer to grab ice.  “I told you not to be weird.”

Kristoff stood there sulking and leaning against the counter.  “Make it.”

“What?”

“You said don’t make it weird, not don’t be weird.”

”Well, you’re doing both. Look, just do us all a favor and figure this out.  …and soon.”

Before Kristoff noticed what was happening, Sven was in front of him.  He pulled at the waist of Kristoff’s pants and dropped a handful of ice down them.  Kristoff jumped with a yelp at contact with ice on his skin.  “What the fuck was that for!”

“Figured you’d need that to help cool off.  Now go back to your room to the best thing that’s going to ever come into your life.”

“I hate you!” Kristoff called over as Sven walked away.

“Love you too.  Stop being weird!”

 Kristoff breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Anna sound asleep.  He crawled into the bed as quietly as he could, trying not to wake her and laid as far away from her as he could manage.  He thought about how sexy Anna had looked earlier and how she was laying so close to him with nothing but a T-shirt.  He tried to sleep, but it was no use and eventually his thoughts drifted to the place he had been avoiding.

I know how you feel about me.  Anna’s words played over and over.  He knew what she was referring to and the fact that she had said it him like that brought a twinge of unease.

Had it already been almost a week? They had been alone in the apartment studying… for a while at least until they lost interest and began making out on the couch and things started to get heated. Anna was pushing things again and he was backing off from her and it… it made her angry.  Kristoff couldn’t even remember how things escalated so quickly, but one second she was on his lap and the next, they were standing yelling at each other in the middle of the living room.

Anna demanded he explain himself.  But Kristoff couldn’t get the words out.  Then the worst possible thing happened.  Anna thought it was because he didn’t want her, that there was something wrong with her and it shattered him when he saw her tears.  He told her it wasn’t that, but it only infuriated Anna more.  She started yelling again, begging him to tell her what was wrong and why he was avoiding her.

“Because I love you, okay!”

Fuck.  

Kristoff didn’t mean to tell her that.  It was too soon, but he blurted it out, only half aware of what he said.  But it was the truth.  He did love her, had since before they even started dating and it terrified him.  The implications left him immobile, worried that any wrong step would ruin what they had. 

Anna only stared at him, struck silent with his confession.  Her chest heaved up and down and he thought maybe he saw a faint upturn of her lips.  But then Sven walked in with two friends before anything else was said.  Anna scurried out, claiming it was late and looking embarrassed.  She kissed him goodnight, whispered to him they would talk later and was gone.  He left the next morning  for a road trip with the team and tonight was the first they saw each other since he was back.

A warm body pressing up against him broke Kristoff from his thoughts.  Anna was seeking him out in her sleep, snuggling up against him and letting out a content sigh.  He slowly wrapped his arm around her.  Anna told him they needed to talk when he got back from his trip, but that everything was fine and he shouldn’t worry.  She just wasn’t willing to have a conversation about what happened over the phone.  Kristoff had been holding onto those words all week.

Everything was fine.  He wanted to desperately to believe her.  

“Kris-“

Anna was still asleep, but she was mumbling something incoherent.  Kristoff looked down at her as she held onto him even tighter.  

“-mmm Kris.  I love you, too.”

I was barely audible, but he heard her.  Okay, so she wasn’t awake and who knows if she would be ready to tell him that when she was, but it was all Kristoff needed to hear.  He watched her sleep, feeling his heartbeat slowing and Kristoff felt a wave a calm pass over him.  He pulled Anna as close as he could, relishing in the quiet intimacy.  The last of any walls he had built up had now been completely torn down by Anna.  The night may not have turned out like either one of them had expected, but they’d figure that part out soon enough.  Kristoff brushed the side of her face with the back of his fingers and kissed her nose, before falling asleep with the girl he loved in his arms.

[nyacat39]

Things Forgotten Chapter 9

Link to last chapter

Nick and Barry go exploring in places they shouldn’t, Friends get made, and danger approaches.

“Well good to see someone has been keeping this place tidy,” Barry joked as he and Nick wandered through the building. On the outside it was still surprisingly intact but the inside was a different story. The main floor was enough to hold both of them and the upstairs seemed to be intact… but the majority of the floor seemed to be broken, dust was everywhere as well as a few cobwebs that had Nick on edge… and a large broken staircase to a lower level was one of the biggest things that caught their attention.

“Let’s just… investigate then get out…” Nick shuddered as he glanced at some of the cobwebs.

“Should we brave the basement or go upstairs first?” Barry asked, pointing out the two options they had. Nick took a moment, looking between the stair cases as he thought.

There seemed to be more damage to the lower area then the higher one… so by that logic.

“Basement… we’re probably gonna find our answers down there,” Nick commented, even though he already felt on edge with the amount of cobwebs on the main floor alone… nearly six years being abandoned really did a number on this place.

“Want me to grab the rope from my trunk?” Barry questioned causing Nick to pause for a moment and look to his pink haired friend for a moment with a confused look.

“Why do you have rope in your trunk?”

“Uh…. Story for a different time, my friend,” Barry laughed nervously before he rushed out of there to grab the rope. Nick stood there quietly questioning his friend. He waited for a bit and when his eyes settled on one of the cobwebs Nick began to feel his skin crawl and his heart rate begin to rise as fear crept in.

Dear God I made a mistake! Nick thought as he thought of all the insects that might even be in this place. He felt like a panic attack was going to come as his thoughts drifted to the bugs crawling up to him and-

“Got the ro-” Barry was announcing but was cut off by Nick screaming. Barry flinched but hurried over to his friend and started calming him down. It was a slow process… after all Nick did struggle and try to run away at least once during the panic attack, but Barry held him tight and rode out the attack. Barry’s seen this happen more than once during their friendship, he knew how to deal with it by this point.

“Did ya see a spider, bud?” Barry asked once Nick calmed down. The black haired teen looked away from his friend in embarrassment. Barry just sighed, knowing what that meant and lightly punched Nick’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry bout it! We see any kind of bug and I’ll kill it for you,” Barry grinned before handing one part of the surprisingly long rope to Nick. “Now let’s get to that basement!”

….

Nick didn’t know what to expect when they finally reached something that seemed like a bottom. It had taken them a little while but when they found at least some solid flooring both Nick and Barry noticed how… odd everything seemed to be. Sure it took them a little more than two hours to get down to the basement… but everything seemed to still kinda be unstable with the broken floor leading to depths below. They had to use the lights from their phones to even see anything down there but all it lead to was… confusion.

Before them stood what looked to be a broken window frame, faint traces of colored glass was seen on the floor going towards them and leaving an opening that was almost completely closed off by some fallen rubble. Nick moved the phone’s light around the opening, looking for the weaker points to exploit and move out of the way to continue moving.

“What the hell is something like this doing in a basement anyways?” Barry quietly asked as he carefully picked up one of the glass shards and looked it over completely.

“Maybe a demon wanted to repent or something,” Nick offered, his face completely straight and his voice actually sounding sarcastic. Barry paused as he tried to hold back a laugh.

“Oh my god Nick, that was bad.”

“So was the demon.” Barry couldn’t hold back his laugh at that line, he was just happy that Nick was actually starting to feel better if he could make deadpan jokes like these. Then again when both boys nearly wanted to throw rocks at each other from practically digging their way through the rubble for two hours, it was much more appreciated.

….

Rachel couldn’t help but worry the entire time she was at work. Even when she was cleaning the store ideas of everything going bad back at home kept flooding her mind and made everything she was doing seem like it was going in slow motion. The minute she was able to leave for home Rachel felt like she couldn’t get out the door fast enough

The blond rushed to get home, saying only quick goodbyes to her coworkers, rushing through the alleyway short cuts and even rushing up the stairs instead of taking the elevator to get to her apartment. The minute she got into the apartment she heard Katie AND Zack shouting angrily about something in the brunette’s room.

Rachel quickly closed the front door and hurried to the room… where she heard something that actually surprised her.

“YOU WERE SO FUCKING CLOSE THAT TIME!”

“THIS GAME IS BULLSHIT!!”

Rachel blinked in surprise while standing outside her best friend’s door… they were… getting along? And, from the sound of things, playing video games?

They’re getting along better than I thought… Rachel thought in relief a soft sigh escaping her as she heard the two angrily shouting about whatever game Katie was introducing Zack to…. Probably some indie Horror game from the sound of things.

“FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING RABBIT!!”

Definitely an indie horror game.

Rachel knocked on Katie’s door before entering… a habit she made since rooming with her best friend. The blond doubted the brunette heard it from the ranting she heard in the room, mostly from Zack but entered anyways and found the two sitting in front of the computer monitor where Zack seemed to be at the controls while Katie seemed to be egging him on.

“You got this, just don’t- SHIT CHANGE CAMERA, CHANGE CAMERA!”

“WOULD YOU STOP YELL- FUCK!!”

From what Rachel could see the screen had a kinda creepy yellow bear face on it before the screen brought them back to the game menu. Zack seemed like he was about to pick up the keyboard and throw it at the computer monitor but was stopped by Katie putting her hands on it herself and held it in place.

“... I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Rachel stated, deciding to make her presence known now before Zack decided to break anything expensive. The reactions were immediate with Zack turning completely to face her, a look of surprise clear on his bandaged face, and Katie looking surprised for a moment before giving her signature grin.

“Eh, not much. Just the Reaper shit here getting killed by children mascots, and kicking my ass in Kombat,” Katie shrugged, trying to seem aloof but looked more like she was trying to hold back some laugher as Zack glared at her.

“I swear you fucking set me up on most of that shit ya sadistic ass!”

“Only once I swear.”

Rachel couldn’t help but smile at how the two seemed to get along.

“Wanna join us Rachel? Maybe help Zack avoid another Bunny mauling,” Katie grinned, despite the glare she got from Zack.

“Maybe if you shut the fuck up!”

“Why not?” The blond responded around the same time Zack did leaving Katie to be quiet for a moment as she processed both’s words, before standing up and letting the blond take her seat.

“Alright, alright I’ll keep quiet. Don’t go blaming me if you get killed again,” Katie sarcastically said as she left the room to grab another chair for herself, leaving Zack and Rachel alone once again for a short amount of time.

Wonder what Barry and Nick are up to? Katie thought to herself as she picked the chair up.

….

“You know, I’m starting to think this was a snake worshiping church…” Barry winced as he found more decomposed bodies of the serpents underneath some of the rubble inside the underground church.

“Could have been, but Rachel never was positive for venom in her system…” Nick muttered as he tried to find anything that could give him answers, aside from the snake skeletons.

“Look Nick… I think we’re not gonna get anymore information here,” Barry sighed as he checked through a little more rubble. Before Nick could argue with him Barry’s eyes widened a bit at what he found under it. “Never mind.”

Underneath the rubble was dried blood that looked like it was part of a long trail. Nick himself had widened eyes as he hurried over and examined it. It was to much to be any of the snakes… and looked more like it had to have been from something either being dragged or… walking maybe?

“... Where’s the rest of the trail?” Nick muttered to himself as he began to move more rubble trying to find a definite path, while Barry winced and tried to stop his black haired friend.

“Dude, we should leave!” Barry practically begged, his mind having already gone to an idea of it belonging to a corpse that remained down here… along with the idea that there was a spirit not to far from it either. Barry however was ignored as Nick seemed to be lost in his own mind and was following after the trail. “NICK!!”

“One minute Barry…” Nick responded absentmindedly as he picked up the trail and began following it at a quick pace, climbing over rubble and keeping an eye out for the blood trail.

“Nick seriously! What if there’s a body?!”

“Then we have evidence for police to do a more thorough investigation.” And like that Barry knew Nick was once again in the mode where it would take a pissed off Barry to get him to back down… to bad Barry really didn’t want to break his number one personal rule of hurting his friends… nor did he want to get mad at him again. Barry already felt bad enough from earlier after all.

“Jesus Christ Nick… Wait up!” Barry began to follow after the black haired boy as quick as he could, slipping on some rubble only once as he followed after his shorter friend.

Thankfully for Barry, they didn’t have to go too far in… after all a large amount of the rubble blocked their way to go any further. Barry sighed in relief while Nick cursed his luck.

Damn it… now what am I going to do? Nick thought with a scowl on his face, before turning around to his pink haired friend with his shoulders slumped. A defeated look soon made its way onto Nick’s face and instantly Barry went to his side.

“Hey, can’t win them all buddy…” Barry trailed off, thinking about what to say next to try and raise his friend’s spirits at least a little bit. “... Like how the demon lost his church.”

“... And his pets,” Nick smirked a little as Barry smiled. The two were about to go back when Nick took notice of something poking out of the rubble. “... Does… does that look like an elevator?”

“Huh?” Barry turned to Nick with the most confused look he could muster. Nick gave an agitated sigh before pointing to what he was talking about. Barry followed that line of sight and saw a busted and definitely bent up door to an elevator partially poking out through the corner of the rubble.

From what little they both could see it was part of a rather large, older style one from the design and the rust on the metal frame.

“Do you remember seeing an elevator on the main floor?” Nick asked as he tried to push a bit of the rubble out of the way to get a better look at the door corner.

“No… there were only stairs.” Barry rubbed at one of his arms with a look of concern crossing his face.

“... Then there’s more floors beyond this one. And by process of elimination… I’d say there’s more underground floors.”

“Okay Nick, I’m gonna stop you right there buddy.” Barry grabbed Nick’s arm and made the smaller boy look him dead in the eyes. “There’s no way we can even get those doors cleared with just the two of us, let alone even descend with the only rope I brought being our main way out. Plus!... We uh… we might need to book it now if you wanna get home before curfew.”

Nick paused in his obsessive curiosity before cursing loudly as he pulled out his phone to check the time… only to see that they barely had an hour left before he would be considered late.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?!”

“Dude I was trying to get you to leave wasn’t I?!”

And at that the two were booking it to the exit, neither one noticing the sound of extra footsteps stepping out to where the elevator once was… nor even the smallest sadistic sounding giggle as green eyes watched after the two sinners that entered the fallen play area.

….

“Aaand that’s how a pro clears a stage~” Katie proudly stated with a large grin, as she passed the controller over to the other two residents of the apartment.

“... Katie that was a tutorial stage…” Ray pointed out as the official “Stage one” Screen popped up onto the menu asking if they would like to continue.

“I barely know shit about these and even I could have cleared that easy!” Zack exclaimed with slight annoyance that only grew when Katie waved him off.

“Details, details. It was still S ranked, and by God that is the best rank to get in hard mode my friends~”

“.... This is the game where you broke down crying once when you failed a boss battle multiple times isn’t it?” Rachel questioned as she took over the controls herself as Katie flinched a little from Zack’s laugh and the question.

“N-No, it wasn’t crying Ray… It was frustration I swear!”

It’s been at least two days now since Zack was clearly now staying with the girls and Katie seemed to warm up to him… while he seemed to have started tolerating her after their less then pleasant meeting.

Then again... Katie was always someone who warmed up to people quickly. Rachel thought to herself as she began to play the first stage after paying attention to how her friend played. After all… the day she and I became friends, she would hang around and talk to me like we’ve been friends for years.

Rachel didn’t remember it to clearly still and some moments were still hazy from her blackouts, but that was one that could easily come to the blonde even before she stopped taking her medicine. Katie made it rather hard to forget as she would always come up to her with determination to make her feel comfortable, and to be her friend.

She remembered being brought into the middle school kinda late into the school year. There weren’t many people that wanted to talk to her or seemed to just completely pity the blonde. What with her lifeless eyes and quiet demeanor… along with having to have an adult with her to gently guide her where she needed to go or help provide some notes to help her along.

Rachel had only been there a few days but already people were passing her off as a weird kid and some seemed to avoid her… until someone came walking right up to her on the third day from a small group of girls and held a hand out to her during lunch.

“Hey! Why don’t you sit with us today?” the tanned skinned girl had given her the biggest grin Rachel had ever seen directed at her… and something in the blonde’s mind clicked and almost replaced the kind, rounded face with someone older… someone she couldn’t quite place at the time but it was enough to bring a little bit of life back into her blue eyes.

“... Okay.” Rachel had slowly raised her hand to take the brunette's hand only to flinch back when the other girls started talking around the same time.

“Katie what the heck?” One of the other girls asked in an annoyed tone.

“She’s so… weird.” The other one piped up making Rachel’s gaze lower and almost completely retract her hand… till Katie took her hand.

“Guys, she’s new and a little weird so what? Maybe she’s a secret agent or something cool, you never know!” Katie exclaimed as she put her free hand onto her hip when addressing the other two girls before turning back to Rachel with a big smile. “We can sit at a different table from them if you want!”

The other girls seemed to object a little to Katie’s decision to hang out with the new girl but she didn’t seem to pay them any attention. Rachel didn’t know what to say as the brunette brought her over to the lunch line and they started to grab some food.

“... You… Don’t have to do this…” Ray muttered catching Katie’s attention pretty quick as she grabbed a pudding cup for the last thing on her tray.

“Do what?”

“... Argue with friends… and sit with me…”

“Who those girls? Hardly know them actually.” Rachel looked up to Katie in surprise from the relaxed tone.

“But…”

“Nah, we do a few projects together in class and sit together in lunch is all. Their nice but they don’t like manga and are too cool for ‘Kid’s shows’. Fullmetal Alchemist isn’t a kid’s show, it’s played at night you dummies.”

Rachel barely understood what half those things Katie said were but was still a little surprised as the two went to find a lunch table together. The brunette doing most of the talking but also getting Rachel to talk here and there… and half way through their lunch Rachel couldn’t help but feel herself smile a little for the first time in a long while as Katie seemed to get so excited when asked about “Fullmetal Alchemist”.

After that day it seemed to be set in stone for the two girls. Katie would always group up with her in the classes they had and would always sit and talk with her at lunch… hell after the first week Katie even invited Rachel over to her home and it became a nearly everyday thing for them even through High School.

“Ray are you even paying attention right now?” Zack’s voice seemed to bring the blonde out of her thoughts and taking notice that she had been barely paying attention to the game and was now close to dying in game… and that Katie wasn’t in the room anymore.

“.... Sorry… I spaced out…”

“I’ll fucking say… you were smiling when those demons jumped out and tried killing ya. Like what the fuck Ray? I know you wanna die and shit but I don’t think that’s how this game works.”

“Sorry… did… Katie leave to get ready?”

“Bitch Queen left in general a while ago…. How fucking spaced out were you?”

“Oh… sorry, I got lost in some memories.”

“As long as they ain’t about the eye creep I’m good.” Zack’s shudder didn’t go unnoticed at all when mentioning the old doctor… but at the mention of him Rachel lost her grip on the controller and fear entered her eyes as she remembered the most important thing she forgot to mention to Zack.

“Zack…”

“Eh?”

“Doctor Danny is…”

“GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TRY TO KILL THAT FUCKER BEFORE HE STAYS DEAD?!” Zack roared in rage, thinking she was going to say “Still alive” and was about to go out to find the deranged doctor… only to be stopped by the blonde shaking her head and shuddering a bit.

“... He’s dead… but like you… He came back.”

….

Barry had been having an uneasy feeling since leaving the ruined building with Nick… and it wasn’t from the fact he had a Date with Katie tomorrow, nor the fact of the text she sent him saying that the ghost that tried to kill her was now “Cool”... or even the fact he couldn’t contact Nick due to the black haired kid having his phone taken from him by his parents for three days… no it was more like… someone was keeping tabs on him. Watching him. Stalking him.

If he could and wasn’t feeling as serious about it, the pink haired boy would have played “Somebody’s Watching Me” at full blast and probably made jokes about it somehow… but right now he felt like he was some kind of prey being stalked by a predator.

N-Nothing’s happened since the feelings began Barry… let’s just go visit one of the girls at work! Yeah then the feeling will go away for sure! Barry thought with a more confident smile crossing his face as he grabbed his coat for the cold winds going on outside today as well as grabbing the keys to his car.

Besides… Rachel did say the Bakery she worked at was hiring… Maybe I should see if I’m not to late on that.

With a destination in mind Barry nodded to himself with a smile crossing his face, despite the feeling of still being watched making him feel like the hairs on the back of his neck were rising.

It was about an hour drive and thankfully he felt a bit more relaxed while driving… well aside from trying to find a parking space in order to walk the rest of the way to the Bakery. The one thing Barry hated the most about the city… parking ramps in general. Thankfully once he did find a spot he parked and immediately went out to navigate his way to Rachel’s place of employment… and if his timing was right he would probably also get there just as Rachel did or even a little after she does.

Maybe I should ask her in person about that ghost in her apartment… After getting a job application of course! Oh and making sure she’s doing well of course… Haven’t really seen her since…

“Shit stop thinking about it Barry… Nick’s obsession’s bad enough, don’t go freaking out over ghosts and churches…” the pink haired boy muttered to himself as he ran a hand through his hair, the roots now looking more orange with his natural color coming through again. Taking a deep breath the boy slapped himself across the face for good measure… before letting out a pained noise as he accidently went a little to hard with the slap.

“Note to self… Restraint! Ahh!”The pink haired young man rubbed at the spot gingerly as he made his way to his destination. As he left he didn’t notice a woman that had been watching him scoff and seem to follow him a little more before she paused and turned her attention down an alley on the other side of the street… where she saw a hooded figure smashing things up… and looks like he had recently killed someone as evident by the body partially hidden by a broken box and trash that had been thrown around.

The woman’s one hand, covered by a red silk glove, clutched at the seemingly eternally dripping stump that was her missing arm… and crossed over the more large fatal wound that was carved deep onto her torso through her black suit and staining the once white blouse with her own blood, and making the once red tie even darker in some spots.

Green eyes narrowed in anger at recognition of the hooded figure but still she kept her distance… after all they were both in the same boat now.

Shame it wasn’t me who killed you Zack… I would have loved to see how you squirmed till the end. That bitch on the other hand… With her black heels making no sound on the pavement as she chose to follow after Barry just until she could confirm the boy wouldn’t dig any deeper like his friend was clearly doing if what she heard was true. A sadistic smile crossed her face, red stained lips quirked and well done eyes flashing with nothing but pure hatred framed by blond hair with pink tips as the image of a young Rachel came to the front of her mind.

I’ll kill her to my heart's content!

[hanzi83]

Gang Stalking

It seems like the transparency is at an all time high than usual. It is a shame I cannot talk to my friends or family about these things personally. I have to go through different people who seem to politicize their position to me and it feels like overtures that are made are not genuine. I become frightened to talk to people I know, because they have thrown my mental illness back at me throughout my life. I am so fearful of all this and they know it, which is why people can be more transparent and get away with it. I wonder do they want me to flat out just state my theories, or are they trying to push me to suicide. I wonder if there is an investment for me to attempt it.

Let’s say whatever I have tweeted out or said in the past is true that I have been enlisted in a gang stalking program because they have just cause to do so if they can tell their superiors that they suspect someone such as myself to be a trouble maker because I am outspoken about my theories, when I should probably keep that on the low, but I am so far gone that it doesn’t matter anymore. No one believes these programs exist, because in media, television, movies etc, they present life as just people being normal for the most part and then there is a fringe conspiracy going on, but it is never showing you how everything is interconnected together to facilitate each other. It is like people are adamant in thinking that there is nothing beneath the surface, and even when they present something beneath the surface it comes within limits. So here is quick recap of what gang stalking is according to online sources, but keep in mind this could all just be some online propaganda I have probably felt for, but it seems like the secretive nature has made it so much more clearer over the last couple of years.

This is what I got from urban dictionary. It seems to resonate with me because it feels like it has been going on with me to some extent, but again I can’t prove it, and before someone points out I am reading something from online sites that have no merit, I realize it could all be bullshit, or maybe it is implemented online on purpose because it is supposed to catch traction. I am unsure, but again for all I know this is just my delusions kicking in.

Gang stalking is simply a form of community mobbing and organized stalking combined. Just like you have workplace mobbing, and online mobbing, which are both fully recognized as legitimate, this is the community form. 

Gang stalking is organized harassment at it's best. It the targeting of an individual for revenge, jealousy, sport, or to keep them quite, etc.  It's organized, widespread, and growing. Some describe this form of harassment as, "A psychological attack that can completely destroy a persons life, while leaving little or no evidence to incriminate the perpetrators."  2. Who gets targeted  The people getting targeted seem to be (single) woman, minorities, outspoken individuals, whistle blowers, dissidents, people who have gone against large corporations, etc.  3. Goals of this hate campaign.  The goal is to sensitize the target to stimuli, isolate the target, and make them destitute. The secondary goals seem to be to make the target homeless, jobless, give them a breakdown, and the primary goals seem to be to drive the target to suicide.  4. Who gang stalks? The surprising thing is that gang stalkers can be found in every level of society. There is no real age barrier, gender barrier, and a variety of races do participate. In almost every occupation in society you can find people who are going along with this.  Gang stalking for many is seen as a game, a sport to be played with another individuals life. Many do not understand or care that the end consequence of this game is to destroy a person.  5. Why they gang stalk.  "It is not conceivable that the participants in the harassment don't even know why the person has been targeted, nor would most of these individuals have any personal stake in harassing the victim.  - Gang stalking is an both an addictive behavior as well as a form of entertainment for the stalkers. There is a vicious kind of pleasure that they derive from bullying their victim. Clearly they like the feeling of being "in control".  Like our society's current obsession with "reality TV", this activity must inevitably gain popularity as the ultimate experience of "reality" entertainment. To the perpetrators, their targets are merely their prey, in a game that never ends. But make no mistake, whatever the reasoning behind it, this is a vicious and calculated hate crime."  -Others are blackmailed or forced into talking part in this activity.  -Others go along with it because they want to fit in and feel part of something that is large and powerful.  -Some are part of community groups who believe they are targeting an undesirable. -Some are part of the informant groups within cities.  6. Methods used against targets.  a) Classical conditioning.  Getting a target sensitized to sounds, colors, patterns, actions. Eg. Red, white, yellow, strips, pens clicking, key jangling, coughing, sneezing, whistling, fingerssnapping, clapping, etc.  b)24/7 Surveillance  This will involve following the target everywhere they go. Learning about the target, where they shop, work, play, who their friends and family are. Getting close to the target, moving into the community or apartment where they live, across the street, bugging targets phone, house, and computer activity.  c) Isolation of target.  This is done via slander campaigns, and lies. Eg. Saying the target is a thief, into drugs, a prostitute, pedophile, crazy, in trouble for something, needs to be watched. False files will even be produced on the target, shown to neighbors, family, store keepers.  d) Noise and mimicking campaigns.  Disrupting the targets life, sleep with loud power tools, construction, stereos, doors slamming, talking in public about private things in the targets life, and mimicking actions of the target. They are basically letting the target know that they are in the targets life. There is daily interferences, nothing that would be too overt to the untrained eye, but psychologically degrading and damaging to the target over time.  e) Everyday life breaks and street theatre.  There are flat tires, putting dirt on targets property. There are mass strangers doing things in public to annoy targets. These strangers might get text messaged to be at a specific time and place, and perform a specific action. If might seem harmless to these strangers, but it could be causing great psychological trauma for the target. They will do things like blocking targets path, getting ahead of them in line, cutting or boxing them in on the road, saying or doing things to elicit a response from targets. Etc.  Gang stalking is an illegal form of harassment.  However when targets seek help they still get quite a bit of resistance. Some people in today's society even try to pass gang stalking off as a form of paranoia, even though the meetings in Toronto are held out of the Toronto Rape Crisis Center and many woman's support groups and crisis centers are now aware of gang stalking, and even training their workers to deal with this form of harassment.  I have felt this has happened with me over the past several years, especially the more I resisted giving into the system, and now my reputation has been reduced to a guy in his mom’s basements who doesn’t do anything and is not relevant, even though they send people to harass me. I am not the only target apparently, but knowing that this is a possibility doesn’t sit well with me, and I can’t do anything about it, and people in my life can’t say anything and it gives them the luxury of using my own mental illness against me. It scares me that people I grew up with, or people I once respected could be forced to doing something so evil, and who is telling them to do it?

Every day I have to wake up and wonder what exactly is going on and pushing my mental stability to a next fucking level and whenever anything good happens to me seemingly, they will block me from ever getting anything because they need themselves to be a part of it. They will never explain how much association they have with other fucking people in the industry or the connections they have. I get tickets to a comedy show, and it becomes a big deal where it feels like I am coordinated not to be let there, because then I would ask questions and these people can’t answer them. It is becoming clearer that these people don’t really like me, but they still insist that I be here.

I ask you why? Why do you need me to be here? You will send trolls to give me generalizations of how important I am to the bigger goal, and then tell me things will be okay, but it won’t be okay because these people have already made me so deeply mentally ill and they have the luxury of pretending. No matter what I do, they win. I don’t say anything they get away with their secrecy yet transparency and even their snide remarks that are subtle to show off that there was a gathering I was not invited to, or having me out there so they can make money for recordings of me. I feel like they even have my old camera footage etc as well. I don’t know if any of this is true.

Who will believe me though? No one, certainly no one in the media, no one will touch this story because seemingly there is no proof to any of this. I don’t want to feel this way about people I knew but what other choice do I have, when all I get are generalizations of how much people I know love me and they want the best for me. It doesn’t seem like it. You are not happy with your connections, your new found friendships, and the community orgies you probably partake in, but you still have to make a mentally ill person feel even more mentally ill, where the only platforms he has he has to use as an excuse to bitch like middle school child lashing out about everything. The scary part is how many of these industry types, who know what is going on, just sit back behind the scenes and laugh at it, because that is how they cope with them being mental slaves to a bigger master, and need to take it out on others via sock puppet accounts and fake names so they can get away with saying the most fucked up things to someone.

I closed my twitter accounts. I closed my face book account. I know some people on Tumblr are seeing this, not very many followers on here but I am sure they will see this anyways. No one will address it because no one can admit they watch what I do or read what I am writing, but this won’t make a lick of difference. This is just designed for me to express it out there. Maybe if someone else gets to read this, it might help them if they are going through something familiar. No one will fucking ever help me out of this and whoever they send me to, will be under their choosing because they need to be in the loop with everything I think and say. They control that shit, but no one will ever fucking say anything about it and these seemingly well adjusted human beings who are in the media will just make you seem crazier and just laugh it off because they are the ones who are mentally ill.

I need to escape all of this and not care about wrestling, hip hop, politics, television, podcasts, movies, comedy etc and just never care about anything from all of this. I don’t want to partake in this anymore, especially when they have mentally submitted me for the last several years while my own friends and family show off how much I am out of the loop and don’t seem to care about me or how I react to this, and this is why I lash out in my personal journals, on social media, or in these blogs because I know they are watching, and I know they discuss it. Everyone who has a stake in this do it.

I feel I have nothing for myself anymore. Everything has been stolen from me. I could be wrong about every single thing, but even if I am not, I know it will always be designed to make me feel like I am wrong about everything. It will always feel like I am a part of some reality show. It feels like because I haven’t reached out to certain people, I am being punished full throttle and they have been making it more obvious about it. They really love making me feel like a piece of shit and will still find ways to do it. They will act nice and act civil, but there is barely any discussion to be had with me anymore. So I ask of you, can you please just let me go away and just have my peace. You already given all of this shit to others, and you have let people digitally harass me in an organized fashion. How much more do you want me to go through? Is this your goal? Is this your goal, for me to just attempt suicide? Is that how sick everyone who has partaken in this experiment is? People I grew up with would actually do this to me?

I don’t want to live to find out, but I have to be here because I am not going to be radicalized or let myself to succumb to hurting myself. I think about it a lot, and wonder to see if I did attempt it, would they let me go, or would they find a way to bring me back because they are the ones who decide when you leave, and as much as I want to, I will never do it. I just wonder if that is what their intention is with me.

Thanks a lot Howard. I know this makes you feel good for what you have done, but don’t worry because no one believes me when I say that a shock jock radio host has this much power and is connected higher up where he and others in your position can arrange for someone’s life to be made into even more shit and holding them back from even accomplishing anything, and then because it doesn’t work out for those people, they give up and it becomes more and more their fault, and you have this luxury to hide all of it and you can prosper in your mansion. I bet even the bad stuff posted about you is in limits. You probably don’t even care about the cats in your house, like the internet keeps perpetuating, just like the perpetuating of correlating your new asshole persona to becoming “liberal” when you are probably not a liberal, or making it look like a shit job so it gives liberalism a bad name, just like these corporate democrats that do, which is more leaning to the right.

No one will ever expose you. I am just a delusional one who keeps saying fucked up things. Don’t worry no one will ever believe a word I have said. I only have this creativity and I just killed more material I could have used in stand up, but it won’t fucking happen. I don’t even have freedom to go to a comedy club because they will send specific people to come harass me and it will make me look insane, and I am doing a good job at that myself. So you will always be the king of organizing this. I would ask if you feel any remorse but you clearly don’t have your soul with you anymore because you sold that a long time ago.