#but not awkwardly silent? like she seemed comfortable in the silence but i felt awkward

[mainfaggot]

just spent 1 hour and 20 minutes making cringe fail conversation with my crush I think I'm overwhelming to be around also she does not like me guys this is bad

[whatinthebuck]

Unspoken truth

Summary: Buck and the reader are best friends who secretly like each other but won’t admit it until one night 

Word count: 1546

 Author's notes: I haven't written since the beginning of this year so it might be a little awkward at the smut part. And my request are open! Lmk on the things I should work on for my future stories

Taglist: @silas-aeiou —------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buck looked up at all of the windows to all of the different apartments before he took a deep breath and started to walk inside towards yours. He knocked on your apartment door hoping you would answer since it was 2 am. After a minute or so he was about to leave thinking you weren't up before you opened the door. 

“Buck? What are you doing here at 2 am?” 

“Hey, sorry were you asleep?”

“Yeah I was. I just got home like an hour ago but come inside” you say. Opening the door wider for him to walk inside. 

“Okay great” He said as he awkwardly put his hands in his pockets and walks inside/

“Soo I couldn’t sleep” he repeated softley, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“Yeah I would be concerned if you did come here to sleep” you joked 

He laughs and you laugh along with him as things become silent but in a comforting way. The kind that only exists between close friends. 

He leans against the wall in the walkway so you mimic him doing the same but on the opposite wall of him. 

As they stood in the dimly lit hallway, the soft hum of the refrigerator was the only thing breaking the silence. He leaned against the wall, his eyes meeting hers with a mix of nervousness and warmth. 

She felt her heart racing, wondering if he could hear it.  

The moonlight peaking through the curtains in the window at the end of the hall casting a soft glow on both of their faces. She noticed a soft blush on his cheeks and wondered if he had noticed hers. 

They had known each other for years, but lately things started to feel like something changed. 

This moment felt different, charged with unspoken words and hidden feelings. 

He shifted slightly before speaking again. 

“Do you ever think about……….. Us?” he asked, his voice hesitant. 

“What about us?’ 

“I don't know like there's something more. Like we're meant to be more than just friends.” 

The silence was thick between them as her heart raced at his question. She had always had feelings for Buck but never had the courage to tell him directly. You have always tried to deny your feelings to yourself and everyone else around you,  But now under the soft glow of the moonlight, everything seemed different, more intimate. 

After what seemed like hours for buck, you answered “Yes.” your voice barely above a whisper. “I do think about us. More than I should. And it’s not in a way best friends should be thinking about each other.”

His eyes widened slightly as he thought about your words. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. All this time he had been hiding the same feelings but he assumed you thought of him as a friend and nothing more. 

“You…You do?” Buck said softly as a million thoughts raced through his mind.

He pushed away from the wall and slowly walked over to where you were standing, still leaving a little bit of distance just in case he was misreading the conversation. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You look up towards buck 

“I was scared that you didn’t feel the same way.” Buck said avoiding eye contact. Instead he distracted himself by running his fingers up and down your arm gently, his eyes following the motion of his hands. 

You could sense how nervous he was so you decided to take the lead by grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers with his. While you do that you bring yourself off the wall and close the distance between you two. Buck’s eyes look into yours before he looks at your lips and back to your eyes. He hesitantly leans down towards you, his hand going to your chin to lift your head up so he has more access to your lips. He paused half way there and his eyes were on you waiting for you to make the next move. You wrap your arms around his neck and bring him down to kiss you. 

First the kiss was gentle, saying the things you and buck haven't said. After you guys pulled away to catch your breath. Buck then leans in again and kisses you more desperately than the first kiss. You know what he wants, and you decide you don't want to wait any longer. You tilt your head to the side and kiss him back just as desperately as he was. Buck takes this as a good sign and he moves his arms around you and moves his hands up and down your body over your clothes. As the kiss becomes more eager he picks you up by the back of your thighs and carries you to your bedroom. 

Laughing you hold onto him so you won't fall as he walks up the stairs.

 “Don't drop me” 

“Not a chance” he said with a smirk on his face 

Buck sets you down gently on the bed before climbing on top of you and continuing the makeout session you guys had before you guys went upstairs. Your hands went under his shirt dragging your nails up his chest. He got the hint and took the shirt off and went back to hovering over you. Buck kissed you from your lips making his way down to the side of your neck. As buck was doing that you were running your hands everywhere he would let you. Buck pulled back. You got what he was saying with one look so you sat up, taking your shirt off. You reached your hands back to buck’s face and pulled him back down to your lips. Both of you smiled into the kiss. 

Buck moved his head to where he previously left purple bruises on your neck, he kissed over them gently knowing they were probably getting sore. He kissed his way down your body. 

Starting with your lips, making his way down to your neck, then to your breast. Giving each one the same amount of attention before kissing a path down in between them. Taking his time to kiss your stomach before leaning back to take off the shorts to your pajama set, taking off your underwear with it. He then kissed your hip then he moved his lips to the inside of your thighs. You sat up on your elbows to look at him. Buck made eye contact with you before wrapping his arms around your thighs and going to the place you needed him the most. 

When you felt his lips suck at your clit, you leaned back against the pillows not knowing where to put your hands so you were moving your hands from the sheets to the pillow then back down to the sheets under you. Buck stopped and before you could ask him what’s wrong he grabbed your hands and put it in his hair then went back to what he was doing. 

“Buck” you whisper breathlessly as your hands pulled his hair slightly, pushing him closer into you. Your breathing quickened as you got closer to your climax. Buck took two fingers and slowly started a steady rhythm. 

“It's okay just breathe. Breathe for me.” Buck said in a seductive tone. 

Your back arched up as you reached your climax with a moan. Buck climbed back up to your face hovering over you. He was about to speak but before he got a word out you pulled him down to kiss you. While doing that you reached your hand down to his sweatpants and pulled the band towards you which made the band snap back against his skin.

You pulled back “I want these off” 

Buck smiled before getting up and taking off his pants along with his underwear before slowly climbing back on the bed.  As buck hovered over you again he asked “Are you sure? We don’t have to do more than what we just did, I mean i’m more than okay with just stop here- he started to speak nervously. 

You pull him down to kiss him gently before stopping and saying “I'm more sure than i've ever been about anything else.”

Buck chucked before kissing your lips before kissing down to your cheeks and to your neck while he pressed himself to your entrance. You gasped softly as buck slowly entered inch by inch. Once he was settled he groaned and put his head down in between your shoulder and your neck.

“Tell me when you're ready for me to move” Buck said in between kisses on your neck. 

“i’m ready” 

Buck moved his hips back before slowly bringing them back trying to find a rhythm that both he and you liked. 

Your hands went to his back from underneath him, leaving scratch marks on his back. Both of you knew there would be questions about it from your co-workers but they would be dealt with when the time came. 

Buck lifted his head from your neck and went to capture your lips with his. Kissing as he still moved in and out of you at a faster pace than before, chasing after both of your highs. 

The night was filled with groans and soft moans from the both of you. 

[yunppeo]

was it so casual to you?

pairing: choi yeonjun x reader.

warnings: none…? its a bit suggestive but youll live, uhh, angst angst

word count: 1.0k :p

NOW PLAYING: casual by chappell roan🎵

a casual night out for you consists of being with yeonjun.

someone you dont want to keep seeing but you always find yourself driving over to his place, sometimes even in the car with him as he picked u up.

and here u are, strapping your bra back on in the backseat of his car.

his hands remaining on your body, not going anywhere. you were used to his warm touch, but sometimes it felt different. like today, something felt.. off.

he seems to take note of your odd expression and spoke up.

“whats up..?” he sits up, getting closer to your face as he tucks your hair behind your ear.

“nothing.” he stares into your eyes for a moment, as if he knows youre lying.

“okay.” he kisses your cheek. normally this would make u happy, you would smile brightly but after finding out what hes been saying… you werent so happy anymore.

you bit your lip to contain yourself from saying anything else.

it was quiet the ride back to the dorms, you both felt the awkwardness albeit still didnt speak up. the only noise you found comfort in was the rain. you looked out the window admiring the falling rain.

he stops in front of your dorm building. you dreaded the idea of walking into your dorm after hanging out with him, knowing your roommate will be disappointed.

all of your friends have told you how much he was a bad guy. you didnt listen.

you clear your throat and open the car door, hesitating to look at him. “ill see you later.”

he wanted to tell you something but you had already closed the door and gone to walk inside.

“y/n.” your roommate greets you as you walk into your dorm and lay against the closed door.

“i hate myself for letting this drag on for so long.” your voice starts to quiver as tears start to fall. you slid down the door as hugged your legs.

your roommate immediately goes to comfort you.

“its hard being casual.”

your roommate pats your back, hugs you, does anything to comfort you. she makes you stand up and sit on the bed. she wipes your tears before going to her phone to text all of your other friends.

“im convinced he put you under a spell or something.” she laughs awkwardly trying to lighten the mood.

you stay quiet before the door slams open.

“y/n. are you okay? did he say thing to hurt you? ill set his dorm on fire i dont care.” your friend, hanni, immediately goes up to you.

“im fine, hanni.”

“thats bs girl.” she sighs as she examines you as if you were sick. “its gonna be okay.”

“y/n, i know youre gonna hate me for saying this but you need to talk to him.” danielle chines in, she looks at you with empathy.

“ill think about it.”

-

“y/n!” yeonjun calls out. its been a week since u last saw him. you ignored him hoping he would take the hint.

he didnt.

he ran and stood in front of you to stop you from walking. “you havent been answering my texts.. or calls.. are you ignoring me..?”

you sigh, trying to look for a way out of this conversation.

“lets talk about it later.”

“talk about what?” there was silence. “y/n?..”

“later, yeonjun.” you walk off, looking at people whispering about your interaction with yeonjun just now.

-

as you were walking to your dorm you noticed him standing right infront of your door. you wished you could have turned around and left. but you knew you couldnt avoid this any longer.

“y/n!” his face lights up a bit. making your heart clench.

you dont reply and just open the door to your dorm. you knew your roommates werent going to be there for anytime soon. it was the perfect time.. to talk.

you silently invited him in and he obliged.

the moment he closed the door, his hands went straight to your waist, leaving kisses on your neck.

“no, yeonjun.” you politely shove him off you.

“whats up with you!?”

“whats up with me?! me?!?” you scoff stare at him, shaking your head.

“you said no attachment, yeonjun. why are we doing this?” you look him in the eye, waiting for a response.

“y/n.. i..”

“what, yeonjun? am i not ‘just a girl you bang on your couch’? hm?” his eyebrows furrow. he didnt know you had found out about the things he was saying.

“say something, yeonjun.”

“im sorry.”

“thats all you have to say?” you scoff. taking deep breaths. “after you told me ‘we’re not together.’ what were we then? friends with benefits? what?”

he stayed there silent. he didnt know what to say.

“i hate you, yeonjun.”

“y/n wait.. hear me out.”

“no?! why should i? you kept acting like we were dating, but then you go on dates with other girls? kissing them, buying them gifts…”

he licks his lips. he had been caught.

“we’ve been doing this for how long, yeonjun..? ive met your family.. your friends.. all for nothing.”

“but i do like you, y/n..”

“clearly not enough.”

there was more slience.

“was it so casual to you..?”

“it wasnt! no trust me, y/n.”

“stop lying, yeonjun. i know everything.” you finally had enough of him.

“just go, yeonjun. dont ever contact me ever again. i dont want to see you ever again. get out.”

“wait y/n please.” he pleads.

“get out.” tears start flowing, yeonjun felt the need to hold you close to comfort you but he knew you wouldnt want that. from him atleast.

he took one last good look at you. taking in all your beautiful features. before walking out never speaking to u ever again.

it was.

[rottenimagines]

''BEST FRIENDS''

Summary: just a little chat with the quietest girl in the room.

(Little disclaimer: English is not my native language, but I try my best, I promise♡).  

.

.

You’ve had your eyes on her for a long time now. The tall, skinny, brunette girl who is sitting on her bed a few meters away from yours; you can feel her pain just by looking at her.

After several glances, she ends up turning her head to face you.

“What?”

You shake your head, still staring at her intensely, though.

“Nothing. Just watching you. You're pretty, you know that?”

Her face remains impassive and it takes her a few seconds to respond in a cold, flat tone of voice.

“Uh-uhm.. thanks?”

She awkwardly shifts her attention back to the empty space of air just in front of her; lost in her own thoughts again.

You get up from your bunk bed and walk over to hers to sit by her side. You bend your legs in a comfortable position while she pretends you're not shoulder to shoulder with her right now.

“So... why are you here? If you don't mind me asking.”

...

“...Debts.” She simply mutters as her eyes averting back to her lap. Her hands grip onto the edges of her tracksuit pants tightly. She does not like to talk about herself much, it seems.

“Debts,” you repeat, thoughtfully.

After a long moment of awkward silence, you rummage the pocket of your tracksuit jacket and take out a pack of cigarettes.

“You smoke?” You ask her, offering her one.

She takes the cigar and stares down at it for a moment, seeming to contemplate the decision.

“No. Never; but I guess I won't die from trying for once. It's not like I'll have time to get addicted anyway.”

You hand her the lighter after lighting yours first.

“You're always this optimistic, or did I catch you on a good day?” You tease her with a playful smirk.

She shrugs as she lights her cigar and next hands you the lighter back.

She coughs slightly at first, but manages to take a couple more of drags before set the cigar aside with a grimace. You can't help but let out a small chuckle.

“Do you have a name?” She asks, all of a sudden.

You take a long drag and lean against the white wall before answering her.

“Well... people used to call me Y/n, so I guess that's my name. And yours?”

“It's Sae-Byeok. Kang Sae-byeok.” She mutters.

“Well, Sae-Byeok, I'm so glad to meet you. I wish it had been somewhere else, though.”

You two remain silent for a long time again, one next to the other; but this time the silence doesn’t feel so uncomfortable as it felt before.

“You know... tonight is going to be a really tough night. I heard one of those assholes over there.” You point at a group of players a few meters away from you with your cigar. “They were planning a riot.”

She flicks over to look towards the direction of where you're indicating now. Her dark eyes narrow.

“Did you hear anything else?” Her face turns into a slight scowl. “Those men... they're dangerous.”

You shrug while yawning.

“Nop, but I guess they're planning to kill us one by one while we're asleep or something...” You speak carelessly.

Suddenly, your eyes light up and you look at her with a big smile.

“Hey, listen! Now that we're best friends, why don't we team up? You know, you watch my back and I watch yours. What do you think?”

She sighs, contemplating the offer for a moment. Finally, she nods.

“It'll be better then being alone, I suppose...” Sae-Byeok shrugs gently. “And don't call us 'best friends'.”

You giggle and nudge her gently. “Oh, but we are now! I mean, It's easier to survive if you're with someone, and I think we'd be great company for each other. Not you think?” You smirk.

Sae-Byeok sighs.

“I hate you already but, fine. I'm in.” She says.

[angieblogging]

im sorry, kate bishop.

characters: Kate Bishop, Yelena Belova.

description: AU where Yelena joins Kate and Clint and all three end up at his house. Yelena and Kate have a talk as Yelena patches up Kate’s wound and tried to comfort her after the loss of her mom.

includes: no romo! they are awkward, but warm up, awkward and stiff yelena lol, again no romo, purely platonic, yelena is canonically aroace remember that!

Yelena felt weird being at Barton’s home, she tried to kill the man not that long ago, how else was she supposed to feel?

It took a good moment before he convinced Yelena to join him and Kate, but eventually she just gave in, he obviously trusted her and knew a lot about her. The car ride was awkwardly silent, Kate didn’t say a word to Yelena and Clint was way too focused on the road, so they just sat in silence with Clint asking a thing or two when they stopped at red lights.

There was a limited number of rooms, so Yelena took the couch, she wasn’t even sure if she’d stay to morning, so there was no point in getting a room ready for her.

It was dark outside by now, their house was nice, Yelena liked how big it was, but it felt like a home, not like a mansion. Laura was now in the kitchen with Lila and her brothers were with Clint outside. Yelena sat on the couch awkwardly, she tried to relax, but she seemed to tense up at every noise. As the front door opened and Clint walked in with his sons Yelena’s head turned. Her face stoic as she looked at the three for a moment.

“Hey, Yelena… Do you think you can go get Kate? The food will be ready soon.” Clint said with a light smile on his face, Yelena just nodded as she got up and walked up the stairs to the guest room to get Kate.

She knocked gently on the door as she pushed it open. The air in the room was stiff, her green eyes quickly scanned her surroundings, the room was small with a king size bed in the middle, she saw some clothes thrown around and a bag on the floor, her eyes focused on Kate who was seated on the bed.

“Clint says food will be ready soon.” Yelena finally spoke up. She looked at Kate with an emotionless expression, but she saw how red Kate’s eyes were and her nose, how her breath was short and her cheeks wet.

“Um, yeah… I’ll be right down.” She nodded -as she spoke.

Yelena hesitated, she was ready to leave to room, but it felt wrong, she didn’t want to be pushy and it was definitely not her place to talk with Kate as the two barely knew each other, yet she was still standing in the door frame, not fully in the room, yet also not fully out of the room.

“Do you need something else?” Kate looked up at the blonde as she took a deep breath in, it was a poor attempt to calm her unstable breathing.

“I’m sorry about your mom.” Yelena said, her face softened slightly, as she breathed out, hoping she didn’t cross a boundary with that statement.

“Thanks…” Kate replied, her voice went even more quiet, it fucking hurt a lot, losing someone.

“Did you patch up your forehead? You’re bleeding again…” Yelena commented as her eyes focused on the oddly patched up wound on Kate’s forehead, the girl just nodded in response.

Yelena walked into the room, she closed the wooden door behind herself as she sat in front of Kate and smiled awkwardly as she stared to clean the wound.

The silence was crushing them both, Yelena was focused on the wound, but still she felt as if the silence was making this moment worse. Kate hissed in pain as Yelena touched the bare wound on her face.

“Sorry.” Yelena mumbled as she placed a fresh bandage on the spot. “All done.”

The two remained in place in silence, Kate smiled softly at the blonde.

“Thank you.”

“No problem, glad I could help.” Yelena sighed as she continued to speak. “It will get better, you know? Everyone loses somebody.” She shrugged, unsure if her words were even helpful. “It’s just like… a thing everyone goes through, if everyone if alright then you will be too.” She nodded as she spoke more confidently now.

Kate just smiled in response as her eyes teared up, it was like an instinct her arms wrapped around the blonde making her stiff up, but eventually she hugged the girl back.

“It will be okay, Kate.”

[maruflix]

“DO YOU THINK TENDOU PLAYS BETTER THAN ME?” #oneshot #ushijimawakatoshi #f!reader

The Super Ace of Shiratorizawa overheard a conversation between his teammates and his crush… and he did not like it.

feat. Ushijima Wakatoshi x f!reader　　⎯⎯　wc. 2.0k

The first time Ushijima Wakatoshi met you was when you went to the gym to return Tendou Satori’s book.

Apparently, the two of you had gotten your books mixed up. After profusely apologizing, Tendou had asked the stoic captain to accompany you while he ran to the locker room to get your book from his bag. 

Awkwardly, Ushijima carried out his mission, making small talk with you (the small talk was asking for your name and class, then proceeding to stay silent).

His first impression of you was that you’re quite shy and polite. He felt pleasantly surprised when you didn’t show an ounce of awkwardness even when the two of you stood silently. His teammates would always say that he’s bad at socializing and can often seem intimidating because of his quietness, but the silence that engulfed the two of you was comfortable and natural.

So imagine his surprise when Tendou returned and a switch in you immediately flips: there are not a lot of people who can match Tendou’s energy, but you easily adjusted yourself to his quirkiness, laughing along with his jokes.

You waved to Tendou casually before turning to him and bowing slightly, bidding him goodbye with a “Well, see you around, Ushijima-kun.”

As time goes by, he starts to notice how you seem to appear more often. Sometimes you accompanied Tendou to the gym before going somewhere else, other times you arrived after the team finished practice, walking off with Tendou. The Shiratorizawa team has also gotten to know you as ‘(Name), Tendou’s friend’, as you’re really the only person they have seen Tendou hang out with.

To say that he is curious is an understatement. He can’t deny that he really wants to know who you are. Since when did Tendou have such a pretty friend? Why didn’t he ever tell him about you, when he would yap about anything and everything? Were you dating?

“Oh, she’s my seatmate. She’s a really cool kid, so we kinda vibe.” Was Tendou’s answer when he asked more about you. Truthfully, he wasn’t satisfied with that answer. But he kept quiet because he felt weird asking questions about his friend’s friend.

And then, that thing happened.

It was just another afternoon. The team just finished practice, everyone was chatting amongst themselves, and you were there again to pick up Tendou. Lately Goshiki and Ohira had also joined your conversations with Tendou, and the four of you were chatting away happily.

Ushijima pretended to drop his towel near the four of you and took his sweet time to pick it from the ground, shamelessly eavesdropping on your conversation.

“So, you’ve watched our matches, right? Do you think we did just as well as when we practice?” Goshiki asked curiously.

You hummed, “I don’t know much about volleyball, but… I think so, yeah! It’s always fun watching you guys play.”

“Then…” Ohira looked at you, “who do you think plays the best?” He asked, half jokingly.

“That’s an easy question, senpai,” Goshiki interjected, “Of course it’s gotta be our ace, right?”

“Yeah, that’s not fair! You should’ve asked for second best.” Tendou begrudgingly agreed.

Ushijima’s ears perked up as he pretended to wipe his forehead, turning around to look the other way with his feet still rooted to the ground. His heart started beating a bit faster at the thought of you complimenting him. ‘Logically speaking, I usually score the most points, so it can be said that I play the best, right?’

“Actually,” You grinned, “I have a different opinion.”

“Ehhh?? Really?? No way!!” Goshiki exclaimed excitedly, “Senpai, you think I’m better than our team’s ace?!”

“Hey now, she didn’t say that…”

“Maybe soon, Goshiki-kun. But now, I think… Tori-kun plays the best!” You cheered as the three boys cried out in surprise.

“Tendou?! Really?! Umm, no offense to you, Tendou..”

“Well, I have to admit, the Guess Monster is terrifying when he gets all pumped up…”

“Ehhh, (Name)-chan, you’re making me blush!”

Ushijima’s skin crawled.

“I’m not lying! The way your hand suddenly changes directions and BOOM! Blocked! I’m like, how the heck does he do that?!”

“Damn, Tendou, it must be nice to have a friend who hypes you up like (Name)-san.”

“Oh, but you’re really cool too, Reon-kun! I mean, that’s not even up for debate! And you too, Goshiki-kun! I think one of these days you can become the new ace!”

“Ehhhh!??! Senpai, I like you!”

“Don’t feed into his delusions.”

Ushijima knew that you were a kind person, and maybe you weren’t that familiar with volleyball, or you were just trying to make your friends happy, but…

He gripped his towel.

Hard.

BAM!

The ball went flying through Tendou’s outstretched arms at such a speed that he thought it would blow his head off with it.

Tendou was used to Ushiwaka’s spikes. He was the Super Ace’s teammate, after all, but… He looked up, his heart nearly stopping when he saw the expression on Ushijima’s face.

Like he was going to swallow him whole.

“Don’t mind, Tori-kun!!”

Upon hearing your cheer, Tendou raised an eyebrow at how his captain’s expression twisted even more. He put on a wronged face as Ushijima gave him a glare and turned away.

‘What did I do?!’

Next to him, Ohira Reon was gasping for breath. He had been running around, digging balls and sending spikes, trying to win the 2v2 against Ushijima Wakatoshi and Semi Eita. But it was just not working. Of course it wasn’t working, the game was rigged! Whoever got Ushiwaka on his team is playing with cheats!

On the other side of the net, Semi glanced at Ushijima in hesitation. Ushijima had played like a cannon, receiving the ball perfectly for him to set and missing no beat in jumping and spiking the ball, sometimes right into the hands of his teammates on the other side, only for the ball to immediately bounce away. He could’ve aimed it elsewhere, but… to aim it towards Tendou and Ohira’s hands was like highlighting that even if the ball made contact with their hands, they couldn’t receive it anyway.

Well, it wasn’t that hard to guess where Ushijima would spike the ball. To be able to receive those spikes, though… now that was a skill on its own. Especially when he was playing like he’s trying to impress an Olympics coach.

To no one’s surprise, the practice ended with Ushijima-Semi’s win. Well, it was more like Ushijima’s win, with more than half of the points being his service aces. On any other day, their opponents would put up more of a fight, however Tendou had said earlier that he was feeling a bit under the weather.

Pretending like he didn’t hear anything, Ushijima insisted on playing against Tendou and Ohira, choosing not to cut Tendou any slack, spiking balls to his direction like he was trying to hit him on purpose. Ohira was no better, getting almost no chance to spike since receiving Ushijima’s unusually harder-than-ever spike serves was a real struggle in itself.

Tendou and Ohira regrouped with Semi and exchanged glances with the rest of the team, wondering what on earth caused their captain’s horrible mood. Ignoring their stares, Ushijima walked towards the person he had been focusing on.

“(Name).” Towering above you with a height of 189cm, Ushijima addressed you stoically, causing you to gasp in surprise.

You looked up at him. “Y.. yes, Ushijima-kun?”

“Did I do well?”

Flabbergasted, your mouth hangs open. “W-well, I..” Your eyes flitted at your friends but they only returned your glance with their own shocked silent stare.

“Well? Do you still think that Tendou plays better than me?”

You did a double take, your breath caught in your throat, the conversation you had with Tendou, Ohira and Goshiki a few days ago replaying in your head. “W-well, Ushijima-kun, it’s just that… Tori-kun is my friend, and-”

He bent down, gazing down at you in curiosity. “Do you think he plays better than me?”

“I-is there a wrong answer?” You breathed out at the close proximity between you two. Ushijima held his gaze, his eyes shining in amusement. You blushed at Ushijima’s confidence and obliviousness, thankful that Coach Washijo wasn’t in the room. “I-I-I think you play better than Tori-kun, sorry Tori-kun!” You yelled out, flustered.

Your friend could only give you a thumbs up, his mouth still hanging open.

“What about Ohira? Do you think he plays better than me?”

Gaping at him in shock, you stuttered out a “N-no, Ushijima-kun..”

Ushijima hummed, “And Goshiki?”

“No, you… you’re the best..” Horrifically embarrassed and confused, you finally gave him the answer he was looking for.

The entire Shiratorizawa team gaped at this hilarious interaction.

“I thought so as well.” Ushijima nodded, “But it still feels nice to hear it from you.” Satisfied, he rose up to his full height and turned to look at his team. “Why are you just standing there? Do you want to go for another round?”

Quickly, the team dispersed, no one wanting to be the victim of Ushiwaka’s spikes, all the while muttering about what the HECK just happened between Ushijima Wakatoshi and Tendou’s friend.

You sat, frozen in shock, not expecting that your crush would ask you a string of shocking questions while keeping his face so close to yours, as if challenging you to give him the wrong answers. Of course you thought he was the best, but you couldn’t admit that in front of your friends and his teammates!

Your cheeks still continued to burn even after Tendou plopped down next to you in confusion. “Well… that was something. My hand hurts.”

“Tori-kun, did I.. did I offend him somehow?!” You whispered to him in a panic.

“Honestly, that guy is a mystery. He usually doesn’t care about these things, though.” Your friend replied with a knowing look in his eyes, “But just to be sure, talk to him, I guess?”

After the practice, the rest of the team headed outside while Ushijima busied himself with his bag, as if waiting for you to talk to him. After saying goodbye to your friends, you took determined steps towards the tall male, your heart beating out of your chest.

“Ushijima-kun!” You called out as he instantly turned to look at you, “I-I’m sorry if I offended you! I don’t know much about volleyball and aces and stuff, so I was just yapping about Goshiki being the new ace and-”

“Oh, I don’t really care about that.” Ushijima cut you off, staring blankly at you.

“H-huh?”

“That won’t ever happen, at least not while I’m still on the team.” He stated as-a-matter-of-factly, “I am the country’s top three aces, after all.”

You had to admit, his confidence was hella attractive. “But then… why were you angry earlier, Ushijima-kun?”

“Wakatoshi.”

Your heart jumped out of your chest once more.

Ushijima didn’t seem to notice your flustered state. “Call me Wakatoshi.”

“Well, then.. Wakatoshi-kun, why did you..”

“I’m not angry.” He cut you off again, before placing a hand on your shoulder. “Did I scare you? I apologize.”

“No, you didn’t scare me! But… it’s more like… well, your face was so close, and I…”

Tilting his head, he leaned down to gaze at you, his face dangerously close. “Like this?”

“W-Wakatoshi-kun!”

He hummed, looking away. “What to do, I’m still not satisfied.” You blinked up at him owlishly, waiting for him to continue, “You always call Tendou so intimately. I wonder why, but I’m not satisfied with you just calling me by my first name.” He stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world, catching you off guard.

For a second you wondered if Ushijima Wakatoshi was flirting with you, but the way he said those words so stoically made you unsure. “Then!” Gathering all your courage, you bravely met his gaze, “Is Toshi-kun… okay?” You offered shyly, feeling your ears start to burn.

Ushijima tilted his head to the other side, his eyes widening slightly. “Say that again?”

“Toshi-kun?”

“We’ll go with that.” He placed a hand on your head, a smile ghosting his lips as you hide your face behind your hands.

And that day was the start of your friendship(?) with Ushijima Wakatoshi.

[mooooonnnzz]

what love will do to you // neteyam gn!x reader

the stages of getting to know neteyam n falling in love 💚

you and neteyam being awkward teenagers in love

tuk being tuk and gushing abt reader and neteyam

overall very fluffy n cute maybe cringe?? depends on whos reading tbh 

3k words

rushed ending my bad 

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

READER ALSO HAS CURLY HAIR length is not specfied i think 

🐚 Your first encounter with the boy was when you noticed your people surrounding a certain area on the reef’s shore. Pushing past them, you stood beside your sister Tsireya, who was busy staring at someone in particular. Curious, you followed her gaze. A small gasp left you, realizing why everyone gathered here. Na’vi from the Omatikaya Clan were standing right in front of you, all huddled up together. You’ve heard of them from your father but you would have never thought you would see multiple of them standing right before you. The first thing you noticed from them was their skin, their skin complexion was much darker than yours. Your attention was brought to their swaying tails. They looked completely different from your tail. They were shorter and thinner and they certainly don’t look like they can be used for swimming. Your gaze was captured by one of the brothers, he seemed to be the eldest brother with how he carried himself with confidence. Chest puffed out and eyes narrowly scanning the crowd, looking for any danger that could be hiding among the crowd. Those very same eyes that were once surveying the area for danger softened upon seeing you. His pupils dilated and his lips slightly parted, his tail slowly swished behind him. He looked like he was put under a trance. Embarrassed and a bit shy from the sudden attention from the boy, you looked down to your feet timidly and began to play with the sand. Blocking out the back and forth conversation of your dad with Jake Sully. 

🐚 You haven’t seen the boy at all since his arrival and to say you weren’t a little sad was a lie. He caught your eye the moment you saw him and the energy he radiated was alluring. Sitting on the shore, you mindlessly drew on the wet sand as your mind raced with thousands of thoughts. You failed to notice that the boy you were daydreaming about was making his way towards you, his tail nervously swaying behind him as he approached you. “Hello?” He stood beside you, tilting his head a bit when you didn’t respond. He called you out again, only this time, your name slipped past his lips. You broke out of the haze you were in and looked for the unfamiliar person who called out your name. You noticed a pair of darker blue feet stationed right next to you, wandering your eyes up their legs, your eyes were reunited with the familiar yellow ones. The edge of his eyes crinkled up as he smiled, he caught your attention. You smiled back awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say. “I was told by your sister that you would be here.” He said, sitting down on the sand with you. “Did she also tell you my name?” You ask, fingers nervously fiddling with the necklace that hung around your neck. He nodded and it was silent for a moment. You were internally battling with yourself if this was a comforting silence or an awkward silence, but you knew that this was awkward, real awkward. “Sorry for looking at you weirdly earlier.” He spoke up, startling you. “You don’t need to apologize. I was looking at you as well.” You admit, hands going back to thoughtlessly drawing on the sand. “In a bad way or good way?” His question caught you off-guard but you couldn’t help but smile over him worrying over something like that. “Good way. The moment I saw you,  I felt confidence and authority bleed out from you. That caught my attention.” You tell him, looking over to him to gauge at his reaction. He was stupidly smiling to himself and his eyes looked soft. A comfortable silence fell and you and him enjoyed each other's presence. The moment was cut short when you heard your sister call out to you, before you left you and him properly introduced yourself. You learned that the boy's name was Neteyam. 

🐚 The third time you saw him was when you were with your sister, Tsireya. You and her both were teaching the Sully family the way of the sea. Tsireya was focused on Neteyam’s younger brother, Lo’ak and you were focused on Neteyam. While you were explaining one of the breathing exercises, Neteyam never stopped looking at you. His attention was glued onto you and nothing that happened around him caught his attention like how you caught his. You knew that he was staring at you, looking at you with that same look he had when he first saw you. You felt a bit shy under his gaze, he looked at you with so much curiosity and adoration you didn’t know what to do with yourself. And so came the time for Neteyam to do the breathing exercises himself, you were worried that he was going to fail miserably with how little he was paying attention to your words. But surprisingly enough, he knew how long he needed to suck in air and how slowly he needed to exhale. Although, he was struggling to hold his breath. Scooting a little closer to him, you placed your palm on his stomach. “You need to breathe in from your stomach.” You instructed him. Shakily, he followed what you told him. A little shaky and nervous, but perfect enough to satisfy you. You smiled at him. “You did really well,” You said, removing your hand from his stomach. “Was worried at first, you weren’t paying attention with how much you were staring at me.” You laughed at his bewildered expression. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” He said, his eyes looking down to his lap. “It’s fine. I really didn’t mind. Honest.” You put your hand on his knee to reassure him. He looked at your hand then your face, his ears flickered softly and he smiled at you. 

🐚  The fourth time you saw him was when you and him were underwater. You were showing him everything the reef had to offer. Seeing his eyes blown wide in amazement made you laugh every time. He would get so blown away by the simplest things, it was cute. While swimming he found a sea urchin, he enthusiastically motioned to come closer. You didn’t know what it was until you were by his side, eyes looking at the spiked ball. And before you could pull his curious hands away from the spiky sea urchin, he’s already grabbing it. The urchin pricked his whole finger. He gasped, forgetting that he was underwater and got a lung full of water. He kicked his legs up while swimming up, urchin still attached to his hand. You followed in suit.  Sprouting up from the ocean, he coughed up the water that had entered his lungs. He lifted his hand up from the water and almost screamed, the sea urchin had attached itself to his whole palm. He yelled out your name. “Get it off me!” He said while also trying to pull it off with his other hand. “No, no! Don’t touch it.” You laugh. His hand froze in midair, his stomach swarming with butterflies at the sound of your laugh. “S-So what do I do?” He was helpless, the pain on his palm evergrowing. “Stay there, let me get some palm leaves.” You swam to shore and grabbed a rather large palm leaf. Swimming back to him, you encased the sea urchin with the leaf. “I’m going to pull, okay? This might hurt.” You warn him. “How much?” He squeaked out. “Not too much, I’m hoping.” The loud ‘WHAT’ you received from Neteyam would always be funny to you. Without any warning you yanked out the sea urchin. Much to your surprise, the spikes didn’t break off. Now what was left on his palms were tiny holes. “How are you feeling?” You turned over to Neteyam. His eyes were locked shut and lips were tightly pressed together. “Neteyam?” You called out. One of his eyes pried open and when he noticed the sea urchin was off his palm, he visibly relaxed. “Oh, that wasn’t too bad.” He looked at his palms, cringing at the holes in his hands. That was when you got the idea to mess with him. To kind of mimic the feeling of the sea urchin attaching to his leg, you knocked his leg against one of the corals, lightly scraping his legs. “There’s another urchin on your leg!” You pointed at his leg underwater. “Wait, really?!” He yelled out, forgetting about his hand and looking down at his leg. Patting around there was nothing there. “There’s nothing there?” Your laugh graced his ears once more. He looked over to you and felt his heart warm at the sight. He couldn’t be mad at you when he heard his favorite thing in the world. Your laugh. 

🐚 The fifth time you saw him was when you were walking around the Marui pods, aimlessly walking around. A family could be heard talking loudly from one of the Marui Pods. You weren’t going to investigate until you heard a familiar voice. Neteyam’s voice. Peering in the pods, you saw that he and his family were eating breakfast, chattering and bickering as they ate. You saw how Lo’ak was teasing Neteyam over something. Neteyam ignored whatever Lo’ak was saying and attempted to eat his food peacefully. Lo’ak said something that caught his other siblings' attention, his two sisters who you’ve seen around the reef. The younger sister laughed loudly while the older quietly giggled, saying something to Neteyam that made him come to the point where he had enough. Wordlessly, he put his utensil down and stood up. His siblings called out to him but he ignored them and walked outside where you were at, shamelessly watching the whole ordeal happen. Not having enough time to dive into water and swim away, Neteyam noticed you. He said your name, shocked to see you at his pod. “What are you doing here?” He asked, scurrying you and him away from his siblings' prying eyes. “I was walking around when I heard your family.” You told him. You couldn’t even come up with a lie; it was like he prevented you from doing so. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that we were loud, I didn’t mean to disturb your walk.” He was so quick to take the blame, so quick to apologize for his family that it surprised you. Shaking your head, you said, “Don’t apologize. You and your family are very entertaining to watch.” Neteyam opened his mouth, ready to respond to you but was interrupted by his younger sister’s shrill of what you hoped to be excitement. “Neteyam is talking to them! Look at how close they are to each other!” She pointed at you and Neteyam. Quickly, you and him took multiple steps back away from each other. You didn’t even notice that the two of you were so close until Neteyam’s sister called you out. “Tuk, leave them alone!” Neteyam’s other sister came out of the pod to grab her little sister. Before she left, she gave you a short wave and went back inside. You could hear the family pick up on a conversation, all hushed and quiet. You knew they were talking about you and Neteyam and you couldn’t help but feel a little flustered over it. “I’m sorry about them.” He whispered, walking back to you. “Once again, don’t be sorry. I find it funny.” You whisper back, raising your head a little bit to fully see his face. “Neteyam, why don’t you invite them for dinner?” His younger brother teased from behind. “Lo’ak!” Neteyam was about to dive straight for his brother and yank at his hair but your voice stopped him. “I would love to accompany you and your family for dinner, that is. If you ask me too.” Such a bold thing for you to say but you couldn’t help it, really. Neteyam makes you feel so confident and sure of yourself while simultaneously making you incredibly nervous and second guessing yourself. Neteyam froze for a bit like he was doused with a bucket of ice cold water. But when he came to, he cleared his throat and asked you to join his family for dinner. You couldn’t say no and accepted his invitation. 

🐚 “How long are you going to be at the Sully’s?” Your mother, Ronal asked as she twirled one of your curls around her fingers. “Not long.” You replied briefly, putting on earrings that have blue miniature shells on them. Your mother fluffed up your hair, a drawled out sigh leaving her lips. “Do you really have to go over there?” She places her hands on your shoulders and looks at you through the reflection of the ocean. “Yes, mother.” You can see her disappointed face through the rippling water, the all known face of disapproval. You didn’t say anything afterwards, you knew all too well this would’ve started an argument between you and your mom. She wasn’t very fond of the Sully family, you knew that well enough not to bring them up in conversations much. But the moment you do, she acts like you have ripped her heart open and brought it to her on a silver platter. You breathed in and breathed out, ridding of any negative energy that consumed you. You were going to have fun tonight and not even your mom could ruin your mood. “You may go now. Do not stay for too long.” She decides to announce once again. “I won’t!” You said for what feels like the hundredth time. Standing up, you look at your reflection once more before skipping over to the pods. The large smile on your face never leaving. 

🐚 The first person to greet you was Neteyam’s younger brother, Lo’ak. You had talked to Lo’ak a few times before now. “You look amazing.��� He complimented. “Your curls look nicer too.” He added. You smiled shyly, thanking him for the compliments. “Lo’ak!” The all too familiar yell of his name, who could have possibly yelled out his name? “Looks like he heard me.” He whispered. You rolled your eyes at his childish antics. Lo’ak was yanked back, he screeched about his tail and that was all you heard before Neteyam shoved him inside the pod. Neteyam checked out your face and hair, smiling softly at the stunning sight that was in front of him. “You look…amazing.” He breathlessly said. “I know. Lo’ak told me.” You felt his finger brush against your hand. “I heard.” His fingers interlaced with yours. “I just wanted you to hear it from me.” He squeezed your hand. Your breath was taken away. You bit your lip nervously, eyes looking down at your intertwined hands then back at Neteyam. His head slowly leaned in, his eyes looking at your lips for a split second before looking back at your gorgeous eyes. “They look like they’re about to kiss.” Tuk squealed, breaking the small moment between you and Neteyam. Neteyam huffed out, leaning away from you. “Why don’t we have you meet my mom and dad?” Neteyam led you inside the pod. Instantly, you were met with Jake. Neteyam’s father. “Thank you for having me over.” You said. Jake opened his mouth but abruptly closed it. You turn your head over to Neteyam, mouthing a quick: “What happened?” You look back at his father who was staring intensely at you and Neteyam’s hands. Neteyam let go of your hand quickly, ready to apologize for his behavior but his dad smiled, washing away any remnants of his pissy look. “I’m just messing with you two, go on, sit.”

🐚 Dinner with the Sully’s was more than you could possibly ever imagine. They were so full of energy, their endless bickering was hilarious and they weren’t shy to hide their love for each other. At some points you felt like you were a part of their family. His mom was such a sweetheart as well, she treated you as if you were her own. With your stomach full and cheeks sore from laughing and smiling so much, you decided that was enough for tonight. Bidding everyone a goodbye, you left the family’s pod. Although not alone, a certain older brother was trailing after you. Calling out your name, you turned around and your heart softened at the sight of Neteyam. “Leaving so soon?” He frowned, holding your hand once again, only this time he was holding both. “Yeah.” Your eyes jumped from his captivating eyes you ever so adored to his light pink lips. “Can’t you stay a little longer?” His voice was hushed. “I wish I could.” You couldn’t deny the fact that you and Neteyam's face were drawing near. “Should I really be kissing you when your family could walk right in on us?” Lips were brushing against each other, your breath mixing in with his. “I really don’t care.” His lips pressed against yours. Awkwardly, your lips melded together. You and him obviously have no kissing experience, but that made it all better. You were Neteyam’s first kiss while he was yours. A sense of pride washed over you. You were Neteyam’s first. Neteyam untangled his hands from yours and grabbed onto your waist, pulling you closer. You parted from the kiss, panting heavily. “Stay for a little longer?” He quietly begged, giving you a slight pout. You placed your palms against his chest, pushing him away playfully. The hold he has on your waist has kept you encased in him. “I can’t, Nete.” You affectionately rolled your eyes at his pouty expression. “Can I kiss you once more?” How could you ever say no to that? Faces centimeters apart, an excited yell was heard from behind Neteyam. “They’re kissing!” Tuk cried out, her smile bigger than ever. “They’re kissing!” She repeated. “What, really?!” Lo’ak was in disbelief as he practically flew outside to see if Tuk was lying or not. You and Neteyam were standing at a respectful distance, pretending to be interested in something else. “Aren’t the stars lovely tonight?” Neteyam pointed at the sparkling specs in the sky. “So beautiful.” You commented. “Who’s kissing?” Jake could be heard from within the pod, his head peaking out to check on you and Neteyam. “No one is kissing anyone, sir!” Neteyam quickly responded. “You better not!” He said, slowly inching back in the pod. “Guess you have to go now.” Neteyam sighed out. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?” You asked. Neteyam nodded but before you left you kissed his cheek. “Bye, Neteyam!” You scurried off, stupidly smiling to yourself. “No way! Neteyam got a partner before me!” Lo’ak groaned, running his hand down his face. “You owe me!” Kiri exclaimed. “I know.” Lo’ak grumbled.

hope i did neteyam justice and praying that i didn’t write him too ooc 💀 forgot to mention that i barely proofread anything so apologies if i made any mistakes its real late SIKE TWO DAYS LATER I REVISED AND EDITED SUM FEW PARTS NOW THERE WONT BE ANY ISSUES hopefully

[forever-rogue]

making a wish for soft comfort smut with pining bestfriend! Eddie after you guys have a fight bc he thinks you don’t notice all the ways he tries to make things extra special for you and it’s going over your head bc your love language is physical touch (you think if he likes you, he’d make an obvious move but meanwhile he’s afraid to do anything physical that might cross a boundary, making *you* think he’s physically repulsed or something).

AN | Okay, how about some fight and kiss and make up? 🥰 (sidenote - my brain didn’t read smut so there’s none here 🥺 sorry bbs!)

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey babes,” you let yourself into Steve’s house, a huge grin on your face and a box of cupcakes in your free hand, attempting a small wave. Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Eddie were sitting in the living room, surrounded by snacks as they watched some random movie. It was Robin’s week to pick so naturally it was some quirky, offbeat film you’d never heard of.

“About time,” Steve teased as you kicked your shoes off and bounded over. You could feel the familiar set of brown eyes watching your every move intently, waiting to say something. You swallowed thickly and pointedly didn’t look in his direction, “only half an hour late!”

“I come bearing gifts,” you sang as you set the box of baked treats down on the table, “in the form of sweets - everyone’s favorite flavors. That’s right - you don’t need to tell me I’m the best, I already know how much you all love me!”

“I forgive you,” Robin tore into the box as you took your customary spot between her and Eddie. You finally allowed yourself to look at your best friend, giving him a soft smile. His expression softened before he offered you a dopey little half smile in return, “what took you so long?”

“Well,” you looked between your group of friends, your heart fluttering when you felt Eddie angle his body towards yours. You could practically feel the heat radiating off his body; his delicious smell of cologne, detergent and cigarettes working to overwhelm your senses. Part of you wished he wasn’t there; you weren’t sure what his reaction to your news would be, but - no. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because as far as you knew Eddie Munson only saw you as a friend. This was just another step in your attempts to get over him and accept that you’d never have anything other than friendship with you, “I was at the bakery, as one does before movie night, and I ran into Michael Taylor. Andddd…we got to talking and he asked me out!”

“Ohh,” Nancy grinned as she leaned over and high-fived you, “he’s cute. And really nice too if I remember correctly.” 

Steve and Robin exchanged a nervous little glance before peeking at Eddie. Meanwhile the man in question was staring at you so intently it was amazing that you didn’t catch fire. Steve tried to clear things up and prevent any further awkwardness, “but did you say yes? Surely you didn’t?”

“Yeah,” oh no. You noticed the silent communication between Robin and Steve and then Eddie’s complete silence hit you. Your face warmed up as you waved a hand awkwardly, “I…I ugh….I figured there was no reason not to, you know? It’s been a long time since anyone’s asked me out and he seems nice enough so I said yes. I-it’s just dinner and a-a movie.”

“Are you serious?” he finally spoke up and fuck. His voice was strained and you couldn’t help but turn to him. His brows were furrowed, lips drawn into a deep frown, with an unreadable expression on his handsome face as he shook his head, “Michael Taylor? Really? Are you fucking for real?”

“Eddie-”

“You’re really going out with him?” his voice cracked and he could feel tears prickling at the back of his eyes. He swore he could feel his heart actually break at the realization that you were going out with another man, “why? Absolutely not.”

“What do you mean why?” it suddenly felt like it was only the two of you in the room, “there’s no reason not to! You can’t just…you can’t just act like that. You can’t tell me who I can’t and can go out with, Eddie! You…why are you being like this? I haven’t done anything to deserve you acting like this. You’re my friend, you’re supposed to…I don’t know, support me?”

“You don’t get it do you?” he blinked rapidly, trying to keep his tears at bay as you looked at him with those big, innocent doe eyes. He scrubbed a hand over his face, “you don’t get it.”

“What don’t I get? Enlighten me.”

“I…everything I do, I do for you,” the words he’d wanted to say for so long were suddenly out there, lying between the two of you. Your lips trembled with effort as you tried not to cry, “you are everything to me! But you just don’t get it, do you? I have done everything I could think of but it’s just…you know what? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t fucking matter. Obviously.”

“Eddie, wait,” he’d jumped up and stormed past Robin, Steve, and a bewildered Nancy as he headed for the door. You jumped up and tried to go after him, but you weren’t able to get to him in time. He was already out the door, slamming it shut behind him as he almost ran to his van. You’d stopped, hand on the doorknob as you listened to him start his van before peeling off. 

A tear ran down your cheek as you let out a small sigh. When you turned around, you caught everyone staring at you with various degrees of worry on their faces. You threw your hands up in exasperation, silent as you tried to process what had just happened. He’d just seriously freaked out and for what? 

“Did you…did you really not know?” Robin’s voice was tender as she held out her arm and wrapped into her side. You couldn’t help the small sob that escaped you as you burrowed into her warmth, “you didn’t know he’s in love with you?”

“Rob,” Steve raised an eyebrow as he gently shook his head. He wasn’t sure if this was the time or place to have this discussion. He just knew that two of his closest friends were hurting and that broke his own heart, empath that he was. 

“What on earth do you mean?” you looked at her with teary eyes and she pressed a kiss to the side of your head before hugging you tighter, “Eddie’s…”

“In love with you. Yeah,” she nodded with a small smile gracing her pretty features, “it’s kind of…obvious. I guess to everyone else. We thought you knew.”

“I don’t…” your mind was reeling as you thought about him. Eddie Munson, your sweet, kind, loving, amazing best friend. But he was just…oh. Oh. That’s when it hit you; Eddie had never just been your best friend. He’s always been so much more, “I never realized. I’m a fuckin’ fool. How could I…not. I don’t…fuck.”

“Sometimes you’re really smart and other times you’re so dumb,” Steve was smiling at you lightly, but he quickly ducked as you threw a pillow at him.

“Sounds like someone else we know,” you stuck your tongue out at him. After allowing yourself a moment to breathe you looked at your friends, “do you guys really think so? Like positively?”

“We know,” Robin promised, “babe, he’s practically told us. And it’s so obvious isn’t it? Who else would react like that if not a man in love thinking his heart is getting broken?”

“I gotta go,” you jumped up and almost kneed Robin in the face in your rush, “I-I have to talk to him or something. I can’t just leave it like this. I’d never forgive myself.”

“Go get your man!” Nancy cheered as Robin and Steve exchanged a high-five. You were about to make a huge fool out of yourself, or you were going to make the best decision of your life.

But for Eddie Munson, it was all worth it. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

By the time you figured out what and how you were going to say what you needed to say, it was late into the evening. But you knew that Eddie would be up and you couldn’t not go. It was now or never and after all this time of back and forth, cat and mouse, it was time to put it all out there. You’d always kept your heart guarded but you were willing to put it on the line and give it to Eddie to break. You just hoped he wouldn’t. 

The nervous energy that seemed to follow you was palpable as you bounced up the stairs to the porch of the trailer, knocking on the door loudly. You’d made sure Wayne was gone before you made a huge ruckus, but saw Eddie’s trusty old van, which you hoped was a good sign. But after a few minutes of knocking and anxiously waiting, the door never opened but you were positive you could hear some noise coming from inside but the door went unanswered. 

After knocking again, you were still left out in the dark and grew worried and annoyed. You knew that there was no way he didn’t hear you. Grabbing your keychain, you quickly found the key to his trailer and unlocked the door without hesitating. 

You walked inside and heard music coming from his bedroom - loud, but not loud enough for him not to hear you. You were about to pad the way to his room, but when you stepped inside, you heard a small yelp of surprise. You found yourself staring at Eddie, who had a bewildered expression on his tired face, “what? How? Why? How did you get in?”

“I had my key. Look, Eddie, we need to talk-”

“We?”

“Fine,” you inhaled deeply before staring at your feet, trying to gather up the courage to pour out all of the feelings you had for this silly, crazy man, “I…shit. This was easier in my mind. Like I had this all planned out and my mind’s just gone blank. Eddie Munson, you are my best friend-”

“I’m aware,” he crossed his arms over his chest, a hurt look on his features, “you made that very clear. I’m just your best friend.”

“Fuck - no,” you allowed yourself to look into his soft brown eyes, “you’re everything to me. You always have been and always will be. I just…I never thought you’d like me that. I thought I was in love with you and you never noticed.”

“How could you ever think that?” he let out a small huff, “I’ve tried to make it so obvious, you know? I thought you knew. It seems like everyone knows.”

“No,” you shook your head, blinking back tears with a meek smile, “I just…I feel like you’re so affectionate with other people and you almost never touch me. I like being touched and I dunno, I guess that’s just how I express affection? And you’re not like that with me. So I just figured like you didn’t want me or thought I was…repulsive or something. I dunno, it sounds so fucking stupid out loud.”

“I just - I never wanted to cross any boundaries,” he confessed, his shoulder up in a shy way as he tried to shrug it off.

“But that’s how you are with the others…” 

“Yeah,” he nodded before swallowing the lump in his throat, “but I’m not in love with them, am I?”

“I mean the way you and Steve are sometimes, one wonders,” you teased and a small smile and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well, I’m not in love with him, and honestly with you….I don’t know if I’d be able to stop myself once I touched you,” his face turned red as your face flushed with warmth at his little confession, “do you have any clue how hard it was to stop myself from doing anything but an occasional hug? Even then, I just wanted to…touch you. Every part of you.”

“Oh,” your mouth formed into a small pout as you tried to process what he had said. His face fell and his heart raged in his chest when he saw your expressions.

“Oh?” he grimaced as you looked at him with an intense stare, “t-that doesn’t sound good. I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to cross any lines or make you uncomfortable.”

“You want to touch me?” your voice was small, so small, but the innocent quality your eyes took on was enough to make him relax.

“Yes, fuck yes angel,” he admitted, “I’ve wanted to for so long. All those times you’ve brushed against me or during movie nights, it would take everything in me not to just grab you and…touch you.”

“So you don’t think I’m horrid?”

“Fuck no,” he grinned that toothy, dimpled, magical smile that made you weak, “the opposite. You’re divine and ethereal.”

“I feel so stupid,” you hung your head, cursing yourself for all time you could have already had him, “all this time. I never thought it’d be me.”

“It’s never been anyone but you,” he confirmed and butterflies exploded in your tummy, “and it never will be. Besides, do you really think I’d give my best and most prized shirts to just anyone? Or my lucky guitar pick?”

“No,” your hand instinctively went to your necklace as you touched the delicate chain holding the pick in question. You’d never taken it off since he’d given it to you, “you wouldn’t. Eddie.”

“Don’t go out with Michael,” his eyes searched yours, brilliant warm brown and gentle, “please. It’ll break my fuckin’ heart, baby.”

“I won’t,” tears, a mixture of excitement, nerves and nothing but love for him pearled up and ran down your cheeks as you laughed lightly. Eddie held up a tentative, shaky hand, waiting for a moment before he reached over and wiped away the tears, “I won’t.”

“Will you go out with me?” He sounded so hopeful and so anxious at the same time. As if you would ever say no to him. This was everything you had wanted since you’d met, “like on a real date? I-I wanna take you out. If you want to, that is. I want to do this right.”

“Yes,” you breathed happily, “that’s all I’ve ever wanted, Eddie Munson.”

“Really?” oh. You were soft for this man and so in love. So much, in fact, that it physically made your heart ache sometimes. 

“Fuck yes,” you echoed his words from earlier.

“Can I kiss you?” fucking finally. You both were giggly, chaotic bundles of nerves; all you could do was nod at him before you both stepped towards each other. He put his large, warm hands on your arms, dragging them lazily up until he was tenderly holding your face in his hands, “you’re so fuckin’ pretty.”

“So are you,” you grinned and he crashed his lips onto yours, kissing you like he had always wanted to. He practically melted as soon as his lips brushed yours; this was everything and more than he had ever dreamed over imagined. His brain and his whole body were reeling into sensory overload as he kissed you until he couldn’t breathe, “Eddie that was…wow.”

“You’re so soft,” he whispered as he pressed chaste kisses to your cheeks, forehead and nose, “how are you so perfect? You can’t be real.”

“Shut up,” you pressed your forehead against his, and he could feel you smiling against his lips, “and please kiss me more.”

“Oh, I plan on it,” he promised, “I’ll kiss you forever, angel.”

[bubblegumfrosting]

Not Alone

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Type: Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Y/n has dealt with self harm for awhile and feels like no one would understand. Her secret is exposed when she takes off her jacket in the upside down, luckily only Eddie saw and makes sure she is okay.

Warnings: Injury, blood, mental illness, self harm (does not go into details only mentions), drugs

A/n: I wanted to make this as a way to encourage others to seek help. Unlike a lot of other fics, this is not romanticizing self injury. This is a realistic take on how it feels to deal with self harm and how it’s important to seek help from professionals. If you are struggling with mental illness I urge you to seek help, you are never alone<33

You weren’t thinking, I mean you were but all you could think about was Steve in front of you bleeding out. You handed him your jacket and Nancy tied it against the open wound on his side. You’ve struggled with self harm for awhile now and were only seen with long sleeves, it was the only thing keeping people from seeing the freak you are. I mean who hurts themselves? Psychopaths?

Everyone was too caught up in escaping the hell the five of you were trapped in to notice the various cuts littered on your wrist. At least that’s what you thought, Eddie has been suspicious of why you always wore long sleeves for awhile now. He assumed you were always cold but when he saw you nearly faint from heat exhaustion at gym class he knew it wasn’t a temperature thing.

The minute you took off your jacket his eyes immediately went to your wrists, when he noticed the cuts he felt his heart drop. Eddie knew what it was like to go through depression, before he saw the school counselor every week he self medicated with drugs and alcohol. No one talked about mental health, I mean it’s the 80’s for christ sake. You believed if you told anyone about what you did to yourself you’d be sent to the looney bin for sure.

After all the chaos and Nancy being put under Vecna’s spell, everyone sat around her as she explained what happened. You were seated on a couch in between Erica and Eddie. You were listening attentively to what she said but Eddie couldn’t help but noticed how you hid your wrists uncomfortably.

Everyone was too distracted by Nancy’s words to noticed how Eddie took off his leather jacket to drape it over your shoulders. You looked at him surprised and cursed yourself for not hiding your secret better.

“It’s okay.”, he mouthed silently and placed his hand on your knee. You blushed at the action and returned back to the conversation.

After the heavy discussion everyone dispersed and started brainstorming a plan for what to do next. You were comforting Nancy when Eddie walked up to you and tapped your shoulder gently. You turned to face him, you knew what was coming next.

“Hey, Y/n, could I…um talk to you outside?”, he asked awkwardly and you nodded.

“I’ll be right back Nance.”, you gave her arm a squeeze.

You followed Eddie outside and stood in front of him quietly, you started to speak but he spoke at the same time. Another episode of awkward silence followed.

“Thank you, for giving me your jacket.”, you looked down and kicked a rock.

“No need to thank me, I noticed you seemed uncomfortable.”, Eddie stepped closer to you and spoke, “Um can I ask something?”, you brought your teary eyes to meet his and nodded.

“Why do you do it?”, he asked softly almost a whisper.

Your heart ached at the question, “I-“, you paused and wiped the tears that were falling down your face despite your protests.

“Hey hey, come here.”, Eddie brought you to his chest and gently brushed your hair between his fingers, “I’ve got you, everything is okay, I promise.”. You started to sob into his shirt leaving wet tears on the material.

“I can’t control it anymore, it’s gotten out of control. Whenever I’m sad or angry I just need a release and-“, you pulled back but Eddie kept his arms at your sides, “I want to stop but I don’t know how.”.

“I’m here now. Okay? I’ll help you.”, he brushed a sweaty piece of hair out of your face and brushed tears away with his thumb.

“I see the counselor every week, I could go with you if you want?”, he looked at you basically pleading for you to say yes. Eddie knew that he can comfort you and be there when you need to vent but he also knew it’s important to seek a professional in these scenarios.

“Won’t she think I’m crazy?”, he let out a small laugh.

“Of course not sweet heart.”, you blushed at the name he called you, “You aren’t alone, so many people go through this type of stuff.”

“Really?”, you were surprised, you thought you were alone. Hearing that other people understood your situation made you feel better, “Okay..I’ll go.”, you sniffed.

“Good, I’m so proud of you.”, he said smiling.

“But..I’ll only go if you come with.”, you said while fidgeting with your fingers. Eddie brought his hands to yours and your nerves calmed down.

“I’ll be there.”, he replied.

You both started to speak and laughed noticing, “We aren’t that good at this are we?”, you laughed. Eddie dropped your hands and pulled his jacket over your body more.

“Might I say Y/l, you look dashing in leather.”, he kept his grip on the collar bringing you closer. Eddie knew he made you flustered and he enjoyed it. Your eyes slowly looked down at his lips, he had a smug look on his face but his gaze was gentle understanding how vulnerable you were. Eddie didn’t want to make the first move, he wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible.

“Do you want to kiss me?”, he asked softly. You look back up at his brown eyes and nodded dumbly. He chuckled and held your face in his hands as he placed a gentle kiss on your lips. He pulled back and looked at you, “You’re never alone Y/n, I’ll never let you feel that way again.”.

“Thank you.”, you said and he kissed the top of your head.

“What in hell did I miss?”, you turned to see Dustin gawking at the sight of Eddie and you, “You know what? I don’t care, as long as you don’t give her extra lives in campaigns!”, he said pointing and entered the RV, you knew he was going to tell everyone but you didn’t care.

Eddie and you laughed hysterically, he suddenly brought you into a hug and lifted you off the ground than spun in circles. When he set you down you both stood breathlessly.

,“Have you ever listened to Black Sabbath?”, he asked quizzing you.

“Thought you’d never ask.”.

[justasimp1]

Glamrock Freddy x F! Reader. Fluff!!!

♡Gregory plans a date for you and Freddy♡

Child's Play

Freddy couldn't get his sensors to settle. The way his fingers fidget made his power drain quickly. "Psst! Freddy say something" Gregory whispered while awkwardly chuckling. "-Uh- Um- So- Yes" Freddy gave a hyper nod. You bit down on the inside of your mouth before a warning came up in your iris. Are you doing something wrong? Maybe Freddy didn't want to do this?

"Here is the appetizer" Gregory placed down 2 frozen Roxanne popsicles. "I'll go get the pizza as the main dish" "Do you need assistance, Gregory?" "No! Stay here with the lady. Like we rehearsed" Gergory winked at Freddy before running out of the room. The candle flickered as the silence. "Great performance today" You looked at Freddy who was staring at the ceiling. "T-Thank you" Freddy took a heavy breath.

"Are you okay?" You placed a hand over his shaking curled fist. Freddy froze, muttering small words. "Yes," The words came out in a tiny peep. You unwrapped the slowly melting ice cream. You gnawed slightly at the top while looking at Freddy. Your eyebrows knitted together.

Freddy looked occasionally down at his FazWatch. Avoiding the slightest eye contact. Gregory soon came charging through the door with a freshly made pepperoni pizza. "I made it myself" Gregory chuckled. His nose and cheeks were covered in sticky dough. The ratio of pepperoni and cheese to crust was far from equal. Melted mozzarella dripped over the bread, the pepperoni skiing down the mountain of greasy white.

"Thank you, Gregory!" You patted him on his head before hesitantly getting a slice. "Great job" Freddy chimed in although he didn't touch the pizza until Gregory mentioned why. The eating part of the date was silent, you tried making conversation but Freddy would just start muttering affirmations.

Gregory brought you outside the daycare. A noticeable banner with red crayon scribbles was hung overhead but Gregory marched in. He led you and Freddy to the Theater where a 90s romance movie was playing. "Chica loves this movie! It's all she ever talks about" You grabbed Freddy's hand, leading him to a nearby seat. "I think it's cliche but very adorable"

Freddy just nodded along. He was there was he seemed so distant. Were you talking too much? You quickly stopped yourself from going into a ramble. Only 30 minutes into the movie, you realized how close you and Freddy were. His movements seemed more robotic than usual. His shaking arm was placed around your upper waist. It was cute seeing him be respectful but it made the position much more awkward.

You made things easier and leaned down to rest your head on his shoulder. It was stiff but the closer you scooted to Freddy, the more comfortable it became. Meanwhile, Freddy is having an internal panic attack. He keeps eyeing Gregory but is met with a thumbs up. Your presence is so close to him, it feels intoxicating. His screws felt like they were too tight and he could move.

The movie ended. It was a short cliche but adorable. You looked around for Gregory but he was nowhere to be found. "Freddy..." You hummed, poking at his rock-hard body. His eyes stayed fixated on the credits. "Are you okay?" After no response, you decided to speak again.

"I feel like you don't want to be here. Did I do something wrong?" Freddy's mouth parted before closing. He shook his head no. The non-verbal response didn't give reinsurance. Gregory's voice came from above, "Freddy come!". He stood up from the couch and walked up the stairs to Gregory.

You could hear whispering back and forth. "Okay go!" You heard before a metal latch closed. "Y-Y/N, Can I walk you to your room?" "Sure" You walked up the stairs to Freddy. "Where's Gregory?" "He has-" A hard knock came interrupted Freddy. "How are you?" He forced a laugh. "I'm doing good. I was surprised when Gregory told me you wanted to go on a date" "I was surprised you accepted" You laughed with Freddy.

The same rhythmic knock happened again, lighter this time. "So- uh- you look nice tonight- Well you always look nice- I mean more than nice but in a non-weird respectful way" Freddy stopped rambling when another knock happened. "Thank you. You look more than nice too" You glanced up at Freddy who seemed to be having another system malfunction.

"I enjoyed this time with you" Freddy spoke once you guys got closer to Rockstar Row (the area of the mall where the animatronics' rooms are). "I know I didn't talk much and it wasn't exactly perfect" You stopped in front of your room's entrance. "I still had a great time with you" You smile. Freddy adjusted the growing lump in his voice box. "Y/N..." "Yes?" "I like you" Another knock came from Freddy's torso. "More than a friend" The hollow pressurized reservoirs on his palm started sweating. The air became sticky and a temperature warning flashed across your rentia display.

"I like you too"

Freddy's eyes widened and the glow faded before coming back. You chuckled at his face before cupping his face and giving him a peck. It didn't take long for Freddy to move in closer. Special sensors located in the mouth allowed to feel the vibrations of the kiss, making it seem even more real. It wasn't perfect but a good first. "Good night, Freddy and Gergory" You gave a light knock at his torso before going back into your room.

Masterlist

[captains-simp]

Can I get a request where Yelena's dating R and has been for a while because things are going great but Natasha (being the protective big sister she is) realllllyyyy doesn't like R and R keeps making things worse because Nat intimidates her and all bdaksnakwk😭 and she finally accepts R when she gets caught up in a mission somehow and almost dies for Yelena🥺

Nat simps: Nat doesn't like the relationship because she's jealous

Me: n-no

Nat simps: she actually loves R😃

Me: guys no-

Nat simps: but-

Me: N O

(You guys are getting a big Natasha fic after this, calm your tits🙄)

3.6k words

Warnings: graphic injury description, implied torture and murder

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"My sister does not hate you." Yelena chuckled as she opened the car door and stepped out. You stayed put for a second, staring up at the Avenger's tower as you chewed your lower lip.

"She definitely does." You mumbled as you stepped out of the car yourself. Yelena held her hand out for you to take, marginally helping your nerves when she gave it a reassuring squeeze. She noticed your silence and tried again.

"Okay maybe she's not your biggest fan right now but she'll warm up to you. I did." The blonde winked. You bit back a smile and rolled your eyes. "The others sure as hell love you." You hummed in response, you couldn't argue with that. You got on with the other heroes like a house on fire. "And I love you." Yelena said earnestly as you stopped outside the main door for your girlfriend to plant a soft, quick, kiss on your lips.

"I love you too." You said with a smile.

"There she is." She grinned back as she stroked your cheek with her index finger. "Now come on, I'm starving."

"You ate that bag of M&Ms in the car." You laughed as Yelena led you through the building. The blonde scoffed.

"They only half fill them, y/n." She complained. "So it was half a bag." It was hard to argue with that logic. 

You made your way through to the top floor of the building, all while holding onto the expensive wine bottle you bought. Your hands were sweating so much so you held onto the bottle with both hands, not trusting your grip. The last thing you needed was to smash it on any of Tony's expensive carpets. You were met with a round of laughter when the elevator doors opened, presenting the Avengers all sat around the living area. Their eyes turned to you and Yelena with wide smiles and they all shouted hellos across the room. Wanda gave you a warm hug as Yelena high fived Bucky and you felt your nerves soften. 

"She's just finishing up." Wanda said knowingly. You wondered for a brief second if she had taken a peek into your mind but when you looked at the redhead she was smiling reassuringly at you and you realized it must have been obvious that you were anxious to see her again. Unlike Yelena, everyone else could tell you were Natasha's least favourite person. "For what it's worth she seems to be in a pretty good mood tonight." Wanda assured.

"Whose in a pretty good mood tonight?" Came the voice you had been dreading to hear. Natasha strolled into the living room with a content smile on her face but halted in her tracks once she saw you. You locked eyes for longer than you were comfortable with but you were determined not to look away. Sometimes you thought that if you asserted yourself more then maybe Natasha would at least respect you. Today wasn't the day for that because you looked away quicker than you would have hoped to. In your defence, it was really hard to maintain eye contact with the Black Widow. 

"What's she doing here?" Natasha spat. Oh. You winced as you rubbed the back of your neck, clearly the Russian wasn't aware that you were attending the dinner too. 

"I told you she was coming." Yelena said as she strolled towards her sister and gave her a bear hug. Natasha continued to glare at you from over her sister's shoulder. 

"I thought you were meant to be on a mission."

"Luckily it was over by lunch." You smiled weakly. "Meant there was still brownie left in the cafeteria." You laughed awkwardly but Natasha didn't respond. 

"If you want, I could give you the recipe for my brownies." Wanda said in an attempt to ease the overwhelming tension in the room. The Sokovian was always the best at that and you were sure it was entirely down to her calm demeanour.

"Really?" You asked hopefully as you all made your way to the dinner table. You avoided Natasha's eyes the whole time but consequently ended up taking a seat opposite her. You froze when you sat down, already under her heated gaze once again. You gulped thickly and turned to Yelena while you tried to ignore the pair of emerald eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

The rest of the dinner wasn't altogether awkward but it wasn't the most comfortable you'd ever been. Natasha didn't acknowledge you, though it was rare that she did, and you both engaged in separate conversations with the rest of the team. You had never known if there was a particular reason the redhead didn't like you. You guessed it was down to her being protective of her little sister, something you could understand given all they had been through. But you would never hurt your girlfriend, in fact you would do anything to avoid that. So it bothered you that there was nothing you could do to sway Natasha's opinion of you, because you had literally tried everything. You had been dating her sister for six months. Surely if she was going to accept you it would have happened already. 

When dinner was finished Natasha excused herself as Yelena picked up some plates and took them to the kitchen. You were hooked on a story Sam was telling when they left, both your elbows on the table as your face rested in your hands, eagerly waiting for Sam to reveal how he was able to escape a whole squadron of planes with a malfunctioning suit. As a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, you didn’t get to experience half the things the Avengers did. Sure, you had had some crazy missions and your fair share of close calls, but their stories always won. 

Once Sam dramatically finished his story with some over the top sound effects, you noticed Yelena had missed a few plates and still wasn’t back. With the dishes in your hands, you made your way to the kitchen, soon hearing the strong accent of your girlfriend. “You're being unfair.” She scolded with a hushed aggression. 

“I’m trying to protect you, Lena.” Natasha’s voice fired back. Your ears pricked up at the verb and you were unsure of whether or not to leave the plates on a near table and go or stay to hear about the apparent threat your girlfriend was facing. “She’s going to get herself killed.”

“Oh and you’ve never done something reckless?” Reckless. That was a word you had seen in your S.H.I.E.L.D assessment reports enough times to get a vague idea of who the pair were talking about. Natasha being on the opposing side proved the point more. “When will you drop this?”

“You couldn’t have just dated a normal civilian? Or at least an agent that manages to not get themselves in harm's way on the way to the paper copier.” Well that was hardly accurate. S.H.I.E.L.D didn’t use paper copiers. 

“You know maybe if you spent less time being a bitch to her and more time actually getting to know her you would understand why I love her.” Yelena said in a more disappointed tone, most of the frustration drained away from exhaustion. You wondered how long they had been talking about this. Or if they had before. Yelena always acted like there wasn’t any tension between you and her sister. Maybe she thought if she ignored it things would sort themselves out. 

There was a heavy silence over the room so with a pang of guilt, you stepped out from behind the wall with the plates still in your hands, fauxing mild surprise when you saw them both, like you didn’t even know they were still there. If they saw through your act, they didn’t say anything. “Thanks, just put them there.” The blonde smiled and pointed at the counter near her. Natasha stayed silent as she watched you from the other side of the room. It always felt like she was studying you for any sign of a weakness when she looked at you, waiting to spot something she could use to strike. 

“You need a hand?” You asked as you spied the excessive bubbles in the sink that coaxed your girlfriend’s forearms. “Before you break something.” You joked and watched as Yelena’s cheeks tinted pink as she remembered the shattered glass in the bin at home. 

“She’s capable.” Natasha interrupted with stone cold glare. 

“That’s okay, detka (babe).” Yelena mumbled and kissed your cheek. “I’m just finishing up.” She said before looking briefly at her sister. “Then we’re going.”

*

To no surprise of your own, Natasha didn’t get any friendly towards you after what you could only assume wasn’t the first discussion the sister’s had had about you. In fact it got considerably worse; not straight away though, that came a few weeks after when the pair came rushing into the cafeteria. Yelena marched in the room with her eyes set on you as the redhead followed by her side, exclaiming something wildly with her hands. 

“This is insane. Yelena!” Unfortunately for Natasha, her sister’s stubbornness fiercely rivaled her own. 

“Hey, detka.” Yelena smiled as she sat down on the seat in front of you. You gave a small wave as you finished chewing your sandwich, eyeing the pair cautiously. Natasha continued to stand with her arms crossed, mumbling under her breath in Russian. “You busy now?” 

“Not really.” You shrugged and brushed the crumbs off your hands.

“Yelena, no.”

“Zamolchi (shut up)!” The blonde fired back. “That’s great,I could really use a hand on a mission.”

“I will go with you.” Natasha insisted but Yelena shooed her away distractedly. “They know who you are, it won’t work.” She hissed.

“That’s why disguises exist!” Natasha yelled, gaining the attention of every other S.H.I.E.L.D agent in the room. 

“It won’t work.” Your girlfriend said firmly, her choice was already made and set in stone. 

“Okay.” You shrugged and immediately fell under Natasha’s most heated glare. 

“Don’t you dare.” She gritted. “There are thousands of agents in this base alone and you’re picking the single most reckless one who will get you killed.” The redhead continued but Yelena, unlike you, wasn’t fazed. 

“Great, go pack your stuff.” Yelena cheered.

“Right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t fucking move.” Your body betrayed you, keeping you glued to your seat in fear of what method, of the hundreds the widow knew, she would choose to kill you if you stood up. 

“I don’t trust anyone else to do this.” Yelena said earnestly to her sister. Natasha considered her sister carefully but still looked unconvinced when her younger sister gave a frustrated huff and took you by the hand to drag you to your feet and past her sister who surprisingly didn’t follow after you both. 

As your girlfriend led you down the halls she explained the basis of the mission, telling you how you were to set up a last minute buy with a high profile weapons smuggler. Annoyingly, that was how he worked, telling buyers the location and time of a deal at the last minute. Beneficially, he was a smug prick who only believed in carrying out deals on his own. While he would be armed, there would be no one else with him, making yours and Yelena’s job easier. Yelena was the sniper, shooting to kill. S.H.I.E.L.D had tried apprehending the guy alive but it always ended in casualties and they were finally done with going easy. 

You considered it all when you were changing into the outfit Yelena had given you, planning what exactly you could say to the dealer to get him to the specific part of the warehouse that Yelena could shoot at. You were buttoning up your white blouse when the door swung open and Natasha stepped through. “You sure you can handle this?” She asked right off the bat. 

“I’ve been through my training just like everyone else here, Natasha. I know you don’t think I’m capable but I’ve been on my fair share of missions and I know protocol and-”

“Just keep her safe.” The Russian said. You blinked and opened your mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words.

“I don’t care if Baros comes out of there in a body bag or in a limo.” You blinked again and continued with your shirt as you decided to just listen to Natasha. “But if one hair on Yelena’s head is harmed I will make you live to regret it for the remainder of your long and very painful days.” She said darkly and you could only nod dumbly. Natasha studied you for a long moment before turning around to head out of the room far less dramatically as she had entered. 

“She trusts me for a reason.” You couldn’t help but call out as the redhead opened the door. She glanced at you for a second and left as she called over her shoulder to you. 

“I don’t.”

*

“Do you want to get take out tonight? I was thinking that new Chinese place around the corner.” Yelena spoke clearly but she might as well have been thinking aloud because you couldn’t respond. She knew that of course. She knew that you speaking would ruin your cover if Baros had cameras set up around you. “So that’s a yes on the Chinese?” She continued. Okay she was definitely doing it because she knew you couldn’t respond. “Detka there’s no need for you to insist on paying. I owe you one right now.” You bit back a smile until the warehouse doors opened and Baros stepped through, watching you eagerly. 

“So nice of you to join me.” You deadpanned. You couldn’t help it. The guy literally chose the time and he was still half an hour late.

“Yes, my apologies.” Baros said in a very unapologetic tone. “Something came up.” He muttered as he placed a large box on the table and unlocked it with an 8 digit code although you were sure there was a lot more to it than that. Not that you cared about his weapons right now. “Now I hear I have something you’re interested in.” 

With that, the sale began. At first you thought you were in luck. Baros made a habit of strolling around the room as he explained various weapons that you pretended to be interested in, but he never went to the spot Yelena could shoot. It became irritating very quickly. You walked around too in an attempt to lead him to wear you needed him but he always backed off at the last second. You heard Yelena groan into the earpiece a few times too. 

“Is there anything here that’s of interest to you? Or are you more concerned with listening to whoever’s on the other end of that earpiece?” Your eyes snapped to Baros as he watched you curiously. “Where is she?” He asked coldly. Your earpiece wasn’t meant to be visible and the thought that Baros had found a way to get around S.H.I.E.L.D’s technology concerned you greatly. 

“I don’t know who you’re talking about, I’m here alone.” You swallowed thickly. Baros gave a throaty laugh in response, some primal hunting impulse starting up. 

“I’ve killed every S.H.I.E.L.D agent that has come after me, you and your friend will be no different. Now where is she?”

You wanted to charge at Baros. To knock him to the ground and wrap your hands tightly around his throat and squeeze long and tight enough to make him regret ever threatening your girlfriend. Except you couldn’t move. It wasn’t a fear induced freeze up like you had gotten from Natasha’s glares a few times. There was a much larger and more dangerous obstacle that stopped you moving. Something toxic. Baros gave another manic laugh as he watched that realisation dawn on you. But really, what was panicking you most was that Yelena had been silent for a long time. 

“You see, Agent l/n, while you were trying your hardest to get me to play your game, I was beating you at my own. I’ve grown immune to the toxin that’s been circulating the room since your arrival.” You trembled as you dropped to your knees and fell onto your side, only able to watch and listen. “And what your friend sees is a mere projection of us continuing business, audio included of course, so she won’t be coming to get you anytime soon.” You exhaled as heavily as you could in relief at the knowledge that Yelena was safe.

“Now where were we?” Baros asked as he knelt down besides you and lifted your head up, placing the flat of a blade against your cheek. “Oh yes, you were just about to tell me about the other one.”

“Go...to...hell.” You grimace, every word spoken feeling like one of the hardest things you had ever done. 

“I’m sure you’ll feel as though you’re there very shortly.” He muttered as the knife very slowly started to dig into your skin.

*

You had no idea how long you were with Baros, how long since he had first started slicing your skin, how long your bones had been broken or even how long since you had first started to cough up blood, most of it staying in your mouth because of your weak diaphragm. You had exceeded your limit long ago, only using your energy to make the occasional snarky comment that made the next attack harsher. You couldn’t seem to stop yourself. It made you feel like you had some control, as did the fact that you never said a word about Yelena.

A gargled scream was ripped from you when Baros pressed the burning hot knife against your latest stab wound, cauterising it to stop you bleeding out and keep you alive for as long as he needed you. A sickening smile crept onto his lips as he watched your eyes fill with tears once again and leant back once he was done. Much to your long awaited relief, that smile was wiped from his face when a spray of red erupted in front of you, shortly followed by Baros dropping to the ground next to you, dead on the spot he had accidentally stood in. 

You didn’t trust your relief, you didn’t trust yourself not to be hallucinated after the endless hours of torture, even when a heavily armed S.H.I.E.L.D team flooded into the room. A few gathered around you, asking questions you couldn’t quite understand as bright white lights filled your vision. Then you were being lifted into the air, not aware of the fabric of the stretcher beneath you until the back of your hand dropped onto it. You managed a small trace of a smile before you passed out. 

*

There was an arm draped across your stomach when you woke up. It was the first thing you felt, a fact that you were extremely grateful for. You blinked frantically a few times before you turned to look at your girlfriend sleeping by your side on the hospital bed. You smiled at the sight of her peaceful form and tucked some stray hairs behind her ear softly, careful not to wake her. You were glad you cherished that moment of peace and relief, because it wasn’t long before you had more company.

You took your hand away from Yelena’s face when Natasha walked in, settling to keep it by your side, although there was nothing you could do about the arm that was squished between yours and your girlfriend’s body. “I tried my best-” you started but Natasha shook her head. 

“You...you did great, y/n.” You smiled sheepishly, sure there were some drugs in your system. “No one could have done any better.” She said as her eyes flickered to the cuts on your face. “So thank you.”

“It was no trouble at all.” You shrugged. Natasha rolled her eyes but smiled faintly, something you never thought you would see directed at you. “I’d never let anything happen to her.” You said honestly. The redhead nodded as she looked at her sister.

“I know that now. I was just scared, I can’t loose her again and you have to admit you’re not the most reliable person on the planet.” You blushed and looked away. “But I trust you now and I’m sorry I doubted you.” She apologised sincerely.

“No harm, no foul.” You joked again, truly not knowing how you were meant to act around the Russian now that you were finally in her good books.

“Don’t make me regret this.” Natasha warned with a smirk. You chuckled lightly and watched as she made to leave. “You should get some rest.” She advised and you nodded but frowned when she was nearly out the door.

“How’d she know?” You asked, making Natasha turn back to you with a quirk of her brow. “That something wasn’t right.” The redhead smiled and shook her head.

“You hadn’t made a smart ass comment in ten minutes.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[unwrittenlibrary]

how she loves (like sleep to the freezing)

summary -> “Sometimes Bucky will catch glimpses of who he used to be in the mirror. They’re like silent movies that play as he stares at his reflection. A boy with bright eyes and even brighter smiles that can only see the good in the world. He’s struck with how warm he used to be when these memories play. Then he blinks and they’re gone, all that’s left is a cold man staring back at him whose eyes appear empty and smiles have almost disappeared.”

or; bucky has been cold for a long time and you’re unbelievably warm.

warnings -> not beta’d, nicknames (sunshine/blossom), a lot of allusions to coldness, bucky is lonely & reader is kind. implied that the avengers live in a building together

words -> 2.0k

notes -> tried out a different writing style with this one, a bit of bucky’s thoughts instead of the reader. i hope you enjoy 🥺 title from cherry wine by hozier. can u tell i love him

— ➶ —

Bucky has felt cold for a long time. He feels like the dead of winter.

A kind of cold that just settles. One that doesn’t bite against your skin harshly but instead, it pricks and prods constantly reminding you of an absence of warmth.

He’s felt cold for so long that a semblance of warmth is unknown to him.

The way you radiate warmth is a curiosity and fact in the oddest ways. It’s constant in a way that Bucky can’t comprehend, but always shown through sunshine filled smiles and gentle eyes.

“Hi, Bucky.” You murmur sweetly as you make your way through the gym. It’s empty, you and Bucky the only two occupants, and Bucky feels heat rise to his cheeks.

He nods in response before turning back to the punching bag.

Bucky has know cold for so long he doesn’t know to react to warmth. He sticks to awkward smiles and short nods so you know he’s not ignoring you.

Maybe one day he would feel thawed enough to force the words he so desperately wants to say in return out.

➶

Sometimes Bucky will catch glimpses of who he used to be in the mirror. They’re like silent movies that play as he stares at his reflection. A boy with bright eyes and brighter smiles that can only see the good in the world. He’s struck with how warm he used to be when these memories play. Then he blinks and they’re gone, all that’s left is a cold man staring back at him whose eyes appear empty and smiles have almost disappeared. 

He thinks he would have had a chance with you back then. Imagines your lips painted red and a navy blue skirt while he wears his uniform with pride. Bucky would have taken you dancing and the two of you would have been warmer than the sun together. 

Maybe that’s what hurts the most about the memories. Now that Bucky has them back he can see the missing pieces that Steve tries to pretend he doesn’t miss. Bucky can see parts of who he used to be in the memories, parts that he’s unsure he’ll ever get back. 

He tries though. In the ways he knows how. He cuts his hair and Steve’s excited smile is worth how lost Bucky feels with when he goes to tug nervously at the locks only to find they’re no longer there.

He trains with Sam. It’s obvious Sam feels better when he can help and Bucky doesn’t want to be a burden on Steve’s found family, so he lets Sam show him moves and technology that can help in fights Bucky isn’t sure he wants to be a part of.

Sometimes though, when the memories are too much and he feels frozen, Bucky needs a break.

You seem to appear at these times. Almost like you know Bucky’s grown colder and needs something to ground him to earth.

“You okay, Buck?” You ask gently tone like honey as you move around the kitchen. He nods slowly as his eyes fall to the table in front of him.

You don’t realize it, but the honey drips down Bucky’s fingertips and brings feeling back to his frozen limbs. “I’m okay, sunshine.”

Your returning grin is bright and contagious as you settle in beside Bucky at the kitchen’s island. You’re content to sit in silence and Bucky is content to bask in your glow.

Maybe one day you would know. Maybe you wouldn’t. Bucky was starting to worry less about what ifs.

➶

Steve runs like a furnace and a jealousy as green as ivy consumes Bucky when they’re in each other’s space.

It’s wrong to be jealous of Steve when for so long Steve had been the one who froze and shivered without complaint.

But when Bucky feels the heat of Steve hit him it makes him feel sick. Steve doesn’t have the same sweet as honey tone of voice or the same warmth you do. Steve’s heat doesn’t thaw Bucky out it only reminds him of the past that makes him feel colder.

“Are you okay, Bucky?” Steve’s hand slaps Bucky’s shoulder and burns. Bucky winces, it’s not the burn of a fire but the burn you feel when your hand touches snow for a second too long and his whole body recoils.

The hurt in Steve’s eyes is enough to make guilt claw its way up Bucky’s throat, but the words are frozen on his tongue. How can he explain this? How can Bucky explain that he feels like he’s never really left that ice Hydra forced him into?

“You know,” Bucky coughs awkwardly, “my shoulder. They fucked it up.” Steve’s shoulders sag with relief and his hand rests on Bucky’s right shoulder this time.

It still burns. Bucky has learned to tense his jaw and bear it.

Steve’s so happy to have, really have, Bucky back that there are things he lets slip through the cracks. Expressions he would have noticed in the forties and ticks Bucky still has.

Your hand replaces Steve’s as you step in between the two, like you know Bucky’s shoulder is hypothermic and your touch is all that can save it from turning black and blue.

“You’re okay.” You whisper without looking at him. Steve grins at Bucky, one that says he thinks there’s more to your appearance than you just wanting to help Bucky. “What’s wrong?”

Bucky shrugs.

There are no words to explain that your touch is like his saving grace.

➶

“Bucky,” your fingers card through his hair in an attempt to wake him up, “you awake?” He’s not used to the short hair yet, but you seem to like how easily your fingers glide through it.

Yes. Bucky doesn’t open his eyes. He just makes sure to keep his breathing even as he feels a fingertip trail over his cheek.

Your touch never burns. It’s a relief. When your hand rests on her shoulder or your knuckles brush over his cheekbone, Bucky feels warm. The only way he could ever describe it to somebody who asked was the first day of Spring. The first real day of spring, when all the snow of winter has melted and flowers are peeking through the dirt again.

“I know you’re awake because you’ve got a stupid smile on your face,” you chastise with no real anger in your tone. Bucky cracks an eye open and finds you looking down at him with a grin. “What’s got you smiling like that?”

You. It’s always you. “Dreaming of something beautiful.” Bucky says softly. Your hand rests against his cheek and he feels both his cheeks heat up with a blush. He briefly wonders if you can feel the heat against the palm of your hand.

“Must have been a good dream,” you murmur, “if it’s got you smiling like that.”

You drop your hand and despite to absence of your touch, Bucky still feels warm. There’s no other way to describe it, but Bucky thinks putting it simply is best. “Yeah,” Bucky says softly as his eyes trail over you, “it was.”

“A smile is a good look on you, Barnes.” You say earnestly, a bright smile of your own gracing your face.

As Bucky watches you walk away, he feels lighter too, like something is changing in him.

➶

Bucky’s learning how to feel warm again. Smiles and laughter that makes Steve’s eyes crinkle when he hears and your eyes widen in amusement.

He never wanted to feel cold, but he’ll admit he wallowed in the feeling. He let it settle over him without a fight, lucky to have someone as warm as you in his presence. Someone whose warmth melted his ice without even really trying,

“You’ve been happier lately,” you whisper. There’s a hesitance in your tone, like you’re afraid the words may upset Bucky.

Bucky nods. His head is resting against the back of the couch as he looks at you, your cheek resting against the palm of your hand as you look down at him curiously. “I’ve felt warm.” Bucky admits.

“Warm?” Your brows furrow in confusion. Bucky’s hand is resting on the cushion between you two. He inches in closer to your knee as the two of you watch one another.

Bucky supposes now is as good a time as any to tell you. “I’ve felt cold. For a long, long time. I can’t really explain it, but I know I’m finally starting to feel warm again.”

“Warm again,” you mutter as your hand meets his halfway, “that sounds lovely.” Your fingers follow a path over his palm before Bucky captures them in his.

He can feel himself blush, he seems to do it a lot around you. “You make me feel warm again,” there’s nobody else in the room, but Bucky keeps his voice at a whisper, “like spring.”

“Spring,” you repeat in a low tone, “you make me feel like Spring too, Bucky.” And you smile, one as bright as the sun, and Bucky is happy to soak in it.

➶

He’s learning that in warmth there is comfort. Bucky’s learned a lot, actually, and he’s starting to realize while he may never feel like the bright light he was in the forties, he can grow into something just as warm. Now there are more days than not where his feet no longer feel stuck to the ground and he can feel his eyes light up.

He wants to share it with you and he’s getting comfortable enough to do so. He wants you to see his spring and watch him grow and if your warmth is included in that he wants it to be because it’s what you want, not because you feel obligated to.

Not that you’d ever implied you did. Bucky just worries.

“Sunshine,” Bucky grins as you come to a stop in front of him, “you look beautiful.” You’re wearing a lovely, emerald green gown that flows to your feet.

“Thanks, blossom.” Your eyes shine with mirth as you say it and a Bucky is sure his cheeks have turned a bright shade of red in response. “I have a gift for you.”

Bucky’s eyes widen as you hand over a thin box. “What is it?” He asks automatically as he begins to pull the tape holding the lid closed off.

“Open it!” You urge. Bucky pulls the lid off and his eyes widen when he sees the emerald green tie. The one he had on now was a plain black, meant to compliment you and not clash with your dress color.

Your eyes are watching him curiously, waiting for a response, but Bucky can’t get any words out. There are butterflies in his stomach that make it hard to breathe. “Do you… Is it okay?” You ask quietly after a moment.

“Yeah. Yes!” Bucky looks at you with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “I love it,” he starts quietly, “will you help me put it on?”

Your eyes widen this time, but you nod and Bucky moves to pull his black tie off quickly. You don’t ask why he needs your help with this tie and not the black one and Bucky appreciates it as you slide the green around his neck.

You take a step closer and Bucky’s breath hitches as you being to slowly knot the tie around his neck. He had grown used to you and your warmth in his space, but this felt different. The air between you two felt charged. Bucky’s eyes trail over your face admiringly as you focused on the task in front of you.

“Sunshine,” Bucky starts in a whisper. Your eyes snap to his, your hands still resting on his chest. “I-“

“I know,” you murmur. Your palms flatten against his chest as you tilt your head up towards him. Bucky doesn’t have the chance to say anything else because you press a soft kiss against his lips.

It’s a blink and you miss it type kiss. By the time Bucky registers that you’re kissing him, you’ve pulled away to look at him with gleeful eyes.

“We promised Steve we wouldn’t be late,” You take an agonizingly slow step away, “and I keep promises.”

Bucky slips his hand into yours, intertwining your fingers together, and allows you to pull him down the hallway.

It’s the dead of winter, but Bucky feels like summer.

— ➶ —

notes -> not too sure how i feel about this… definitely something different. i feel like my writing has been subpar lately…. idk! have a great night 💗 or day!

if you enjoyed reblogs are greatly appreciated 🥺

[espritmuse]

Hi! Cutie, how are u? I hope you’re doing great, I would like to request Yelena Fluff number 4 💓

Jealousy.

Yelena x reader. (Fluff)

Hi, aura!! Sorry, it took a while lol… thank you for your request angel<333 I decided to take Pieck as the reason for Yelena’s jealousy bc they’re polar opposite and I thought that sometimes our tall baby probably thinks that you’d be happier with someone more bubbly and lively than her.

Warning: yelena ;)

Storyline: Yelena being jealous and insecure after she saw you very close to another girl. The tall blonde woman, usually very confident, start doubting herself.

Lights, flashing lights, again and again, never-ending flashes. Your head felt dizzy, ready to explode as the loud music was at its peak. Maybe you shouldn’t have had so many drinks too.

You tried to look through the crowd of people for your girlfriend, usually very easy to notice because of her height and her androgynous appearance.

Nowhere to be found.

She couldn’t have left you, all alone at this party, no it’s was unthinkable, especially Yelena, you knew how overprotective she was. Maybe something happened to her?

You started panicking a bit, sweat leaving multiple parts of your body, the previous vast room didn’t seem that big anymore and the lights in addition to all the ambient noises made you lose control over your body. Trying to find a way out to breathe deeply outside, you bumped into someone, a black-haired girl with a concerned expression.

« Hey hey!! Are you alright sweetheart? » The young woman said before grabbing your arm and taking you away of the party’s heart, to the corner of the room, close to the door.

« My name’s Pieck, and you? Do you remember it? Did you drink a lot? » She then said, shifting her hands to hold your face, placing her thumbs under your eyes, catching and wiping some of the tears they let go minutes prior.

Your name is the only thing you managed to say, your mind still under Yelena’s spell.

« Okay y/n, my name’s Pieck. Do you have any friends here, someone with you? »

« Yelena… Yelena I don’t know where she is… Very tall… blonde… tall… and… and… » Your eyes started to water again. You usually won’t don’t that at all but this time, you just wanted to go home and have a long and quiet cuddling session with your lover.

« Hey hey calme down okay baby? Come here… » She opened her arms and took you in her tight embrace, one of her hand slowly stroking the back of your head, reassuring you.

« y/n? »

Raising your head from the woman’s chest, you finally saw Yelena. Happiness and comfort should’ve been your first feelings but instead, confusion and concern arrived first. Your girlfriend had her eyebrows frowned and a unfamiliar facial expression.

Your drunk brain took some minutes before realising that Yelena was currently looking at her girlfriend in someone else’s arms in a random party.

« Yelena!! » You finally said after some second spent lost in her gaze, removing yourself from Pieck’s embrace. « I thought that something happened to you!! »

« Yeah, you quickly moved on. » Her usual cold gaze wasn’t here; something that started to worry you a lot.

« Yelena this is Pieck, I wasn’t feeling good and I couldn’t find you so she helped me to calm down you know how panicked I can be… »

« Hi Yelena, nice to meet you! »

The tall woman looked at Pieck from head to toe and rolled her eyes.

« Let’s go home. »

You quickly said goodbye to the raven-haired woman and followed Yelena, a dead silent surrounding both of you.

« Where were you ´Lena? »

« Not with another girl if that was you ask. » She was walking quicker than usual, it was already hard to follow her because of her long legs but she was always slowing the pace with you, holding your hand or grabbing your arm. But not this time; the back of her thin silhouette was the only thing you could see of her.

« But baby she was just helping me! I wasn’t feeling very well I really thought I was going to pass out… »You noticed that she slowed down a bit, turning her head to you.

« Yeah. Come in the car. »

The ride felt like it lasted hours, Yelena isn’t the most talkative but this time she didn’t even put her hand on your thighs — something was really wrong—. But you didn’t say anything, knowing that she prefers silence over awkward conversation when she isn’t ready to talk.

Once home, you directly went to bed after a quick wash, not handling your headache,drunk state and your girlfriend’s strange behaving anymore. Feeling another body sliding into the sheets, you turned to her, on your side, placing one of your leg and your head on Yelena, finally hearing her calm heartbeat after this eventful and stressful evening.

« I’m sorry y/n.»

You could feel the guilt in her voice as the not-so-confident blond woman finally talked in an almost inaudible voice.

« Why sorry? I was the one hugging another girl. I understand how you reacted don’t worry Yelena.»

« No… but I’ll understand if.. like.. you know… » The hesitation and reluctance in her statement wasn’t something you were familiar with. Of course, Yelena already confided herself to you and discussed her feelings, but it wasn’t an everyday occurrence at all.

« What?? »

« I know I can be annoying y/n, I’m dead cold and not the funniest person on this earth… borderline awkward… »

« And you have a bowl cut… »

« And I have a b… HEY! » The woman gently slapped your ass with her long and cold hand.

« Yelena if I wanted an annoying bubbly person I wouldn’t be with you, trust me. I love you and I love everything about you. I love how you awkwardly behave, how you weirdly stare at people and how fucking stubborn you are…And hell yeah I love your stupid bowl cut! Why would my heart look at anyone else than you? »

« But…you’re so… and I’m… »

« My Yelena is jealous…. »

« I’m not. »

« You are. »

« No I’m not. Why would I? »

« Pieck didn’t have a bowl cut… »

« Maybe you should go back to see her and give her one? »

« Shut up ugly. »

« Love you too »

—————

More of my work here <3

From my requests prompt

[ericspinkhair]

guys my age don’t know how to love me good

pairing: dom!juyeon x noona!reader

synopsis: lee juyeon is the only guy who makes sex worth it

word count: 3.1k

warnings: noona kink, mentions of toxic and abusive sex, deep throating, no mentions of protection (wrap it before you tap it), inexperienced/unsure reader

a/n: this is for @rolezeure + anon

requests are open!!

masterlist + requests

'y/n, I swear to god if you won't come to this party with me I will actually never talk to you ever again. you know what this is?' your best friend siyeon dramatically held up a pair of scissors. 'scissors, to cut our friendship.'

'but what am I supposed to even do there?' you scoffed. parties were stupid 'I don't know how to talk to people.'

'you don't need to talk, dumbass. you get drunk, grind on some hot dude and get laid.' siyeon rolled her eyes as she was so done with you.

'as if that is supposed to convince me to go. sex is completely overraded, my dude. it just hurts and the guys don't even care. as long as they get off on you it's fine.' you had not have had any positive experiences with sex. it usually hurt, the guys were rough and didn't really care if you were crying. there wasn't any pleasure you associated with it.

'that's cause you've been with only toxic men. but please, come with me! it's way too awkward to go alone and I need a hype woman. Sangyeon will be there. I cannot miss the opportunity to get with mr. dilf. have you seen him? he is sooo hot, y/n. I might never have another opportunity like this. and I need a lot of alcohol in my system first before I can initiate something,' she whined. she gave you the best puppy eyes she could to make you give in.

you knew your friend had been eyeing sangyeon for weeks. siyeon had tripped the first time she saw him and had to wipe away the drool from her chin. she then memorized his schedule and you would always have to watch him from afar. however, she could not utter a single comprehensible sentence without alcohol if she was nervous but when she was drunk she was the most sociable and flirty person and always got with whom she wanted.

sangyeon was usually never to be found at parties but this particular one was for his friend's birthday so siyeon knew he would show up. who knows if she would ever see him again, after all, he had just graduated from college and would be leaving campus. this was her last opportunity. you sighed.

'fine,' you finally gave in. she squealed and hugged you so tightly that you had trouble breathing.

'omg, I love you so much, y/n! you're a lifesaver. I owe you big big time.'

'you certainly do.'

you tried to convince yourself that maybe a party was just what you needed. finals were finally over and you were on your well deserved break before you started your last year of college.

a week later, the two of you took a cab to the party location. you arrived at a huge mansion that must have cost a huge ton of money. it felt like thousands of people were there, getting drunk and going skinny dipping in the gigantic pool. you recognized some of the people. you didn't really know them but you often saw them walk around on campus.

when you entered the house some dudes whistled at you. ew. you definitely had to get a drink to be able to stand all these gross men lurking around here. at least you had your pepper spray with you. better safe than sorry.

siyeon and you found the bar and immediately downed a couple of shots. the alcohol burned in your throat as you drank one after the other. your friend needed the effects alcohol brings with it quickly.

'have you found him already?' you scream over the music at siyeon.

'no, he's nowhere to be seen… maybe he's not here at all' she was pouting.

I grabbed her by the arm. 'come on. let's go search for him somewhere else. hmm, maybe he's outside?' you dragged her through the mass of people. she was gonna get laid tonight, you were gonna make sure of it.

the backyard was just as crowded but at least you got some fresh air. a lot of people were grinding on each and making out in the pool and hot tub.

'oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. he's there!' siyeon whisper shouted at you.

'where?' you couldn't find him in the crowd.

'over there next to the huge ass plant. he's standing next to jacob.' ah, you saw him. him and jacob were engaged in a deep conversation and occasionally sipped on their drinks.

siyeon just grabbed a drink out of a passing person's hand, ignore the complains and drank it all in one go.

'I need more.' so you went to get more alcohol before you could convince her that now was the time.

'how do I look? is my makeup smudged? do I look enough like 'daddy, I've been a good girl. pls choke me?' she kept on trying to flatten her hair hastily.

'you look absolutely gorgeous, girl. go get him, tiger.' she did look stunning. the red lipstick matched with her bold red dress. it was short and showed a lot of cleavage. her beautiful curves were perfectly highlighted and if sangyeon didn't drool over her then you would seriously have to buy him new eyes.

you high-fived each other and then she went to go on her mission.

you watched how he scanned her up and down, taking in her beauty, when she approached him and then smiled brightly. she touched his muscular arms as he said something that made her laugh. he seemed to be enjoying her company jacob, who had understood what was going on, had joined his other friends kevin and eric on the dance floor inside.

'who are we spying on?' someone whispered in your ear, making you jump and almost spill your drink. rude.

'oh, seeing if my best friend's gonna get laid tonight like she'd hoped to. seems positive so far.' the guy who had come up to you nodded interested. you had no idea who he was but you didn't exactly mind his company. he was a handsome fellow, with a face sculpted by the gods. his dark blue hair made him stand out even more.

'so what are you gonna do if she leaves with him? are you just going to leave?' he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. 'probably. she's the only reason I came to this god awful party.'

'oh, you don't like it?' he raised his eyebrows.

'no, it's too full, it's too loud and I'm bored. who even is this guy who threw this party. I actually have no idea who he is,' you complained about everything. he seemed to become more amused as you went on.

'then allow me to introduce myself. hey, my name is juyeon.' he held out his hand.

'what does that have to do with- oh my god this is YOUR party!' you realized in shock. your face was burning with embarrassment. but he didn't seem to mind at all and just laughed light heartedly.

'yeah, I'm sorry you don't like it. if you like I could take you somewhere quieter with less people.' oh dude, he was flirting. why? you did look hot as fuck in your short black dress but you had literally just insulted his party.

'I'm sorry I'm not really up for sex or whatever it is you're offering.' you scratched your neck awkwardly. you wouldn't mind if he visited you in your dreams sometimes tho to have a good time.

'that's too bad. I was hoping I could make you feel good.' he brushed a finger over your cheek.

'I doubt you could. no one ever has.' he snorted at that.

'how old even are you?' you asked him.

'19, you don't have to worry. I'm a legal adult. you?' 'almost 21.'

'ooh, that's fun! are you sure you don't want to spend some private time with me, noona?' that was fucking unfair. he was using this noona thing to get you to give in. he knew exactly what he was doing and you could feel yourself getting aroused.

'I just don't think sex is right for me. it just hurts and doesn't do anything to make me feel good,' you explained to him.

'seems like you've only been with douchebags. I have a 100% rate of making women come. you should try and see for yourself, noona.' his lustful gaze stared deep into your soul, making your legs wobbly.

it seemed so tempting. he was super hot and couldn't help but notice the outline of his abs on his shirt. the alcohol was also encouraging you to make some bad decisions and step out of your comfort zone. this man somehow made you super horny with his toned body and god like face, whether you liked it or not. you caught yourself seriously considering going with him.

'here's a proposal. I give you head and if you're not satisfied with my services we can just stop there.' he leaned down and whispered in my ear. 'I would love to hear you scream my name, noona.'

his offer actually didn't sound too bad. juyeon might just be more skilled than the rest of the men you had slept with, who knew. you didn't have anything better to do anyways so you might as well see if he can make you feel good.

'where do we go?' you finally asked after staying silent to keep a suspenseful silence. his eyes lit up and he grabbed your hand. he led you back inside, up the stairs and into the room on the far right.

you could see posters of football player, trophies and pictures. this was obviously his room.

you didn't have much time to look around as he locked the door and kissed you

you were surprised by just how not slimy it was. usually, the guys would always try to wet your whole face and you had to wipe your mouth every other second.

but he started off soft and placed his hands on your hips. you put your arms around his neck to get closer to him and deepen the kiss.

his hands started roaming your body and when he squeezed your ass, you let out a moan. juyeon took this opportunity to slip his tongue inside your open mouth.

the kissing made you dizzy and you desperately tugged at him to get him closer to you. he picked you up and held you up against the wall. you let your hands wander under his shirt and started tracing his abs while grinding your core against him. you could feel his dick harden with your movements.

juyeon carried you to the bed and slowly let you down so you laid on your back. while he quickly took off his shirt you tried to catch your breath after the intense make out. you didn't have long to admire his muscular upper body before he lifted the dress so you were only there in your underwear.

he startes placing open mouth kiss from your collar bones, to your boobs, to your stomach until he reached the hem of your panties. he made sure to keep eye contact as he put the fabric between his teeth and slowly pulled them down like this. you felt cold air hitting your core.

'so pretty, noona,' he admired your clearly dripping pussy. he dragged one finger over your lips to see just how wet you were.

'I haven't even touched you yet but you are already so wet for me. I told you I'd make you feel good. I'll show you just how much, noona.' and with that he dove right in between your lips to prove his point. the feeling of his tongue fucking you was unfamiliar. no guy had ever even cared to get you wet and pleasure you before actually having sex.

Juyeon was desperately devouring your juices as if he hadn't drunk for ages. additionally he started massaging your clit with his thumb, knowing exactly what a woman likes. he had to hold down your hips to keep you stable because you were trying to buck up into his face as it felt so good. every time his nose came into contact with your clit while licking you felt like you were losing control.

involuntary moans were spilling out of your mouth and you could feel juyeon smirking against your core.

suddenly, he slipped a finger inside you and started slowly pumping it in and out of you. it felt a bit uncomfortable at first but you got used to it quite quickly and when he noticed, he slipped a second finger inside. damn, those were some long ass fingers.

your pussy made squelching sounds which you couldn't care less about in the moment as he rapidly fucked you with his long digits. you were pulling at his hair as he took your bud between his teeth, alternating between softly biting and sucking on it.

you suddenly couldn't take it anymore and your orgasm washed over your body like a wave and juyeon slowly continued until you had fully come down from your high.

he sat up straight again. 'I promised I could make you feel good, didn't I? god, you look so hot when you come, noona.' fuck, where did he learn to do all this? maybe he was right after all.

you noticed that his nose was coated in your juices but he didn't seem to care at all. 'do you want to continue?'

'only if you can make me come again,' you challenged him.

he scoffed. 'that's not even a question, noona.'

he quickly unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants. the shape of his bulge was clearly visible through his underwear. you reached inside and whipped out his already hard dick. you gulped.

'it's so big,' you whispered afraid. he was bigger than the other guys you had slept with and if they had already hurt you then his cock would probably hurt even worse.

he stroked your hair out of your face. 'don't worry. I've already prepared well so you should be able to take it without a problem. I'll make sure to go slow to not hurt you, okay?' you needed to trust him. it seemed like he actually knew what he was doing.

you gave his dick a couple of strokes to see how he reacted before you wrapped your lips around his leaking tip. seeing juyeon throw his head back gave you the encouragement you desperately needed to go forward.

you took him all the way until you started gagging. this was something you were good at. you started deep throating him and he moaned out your name.

'fuck, noona. you are so good with my cock.' he brushed your hair to the side so you it wouldn't be in the way when you sucked him off.

you noticed that he tried to control himself but couldn't refrain himself from bucking up his hips a few times, making you gag.

he then stopped you. 'I can't come yet. I need to show you how proper sex is done first.'

you laid down on your back and he positioned himself between your legs. he pressed your arms down next to your head and intertwined his fingers with yours.

'are you ready?' you gave him a nod.

'just squeeze my hand if it hurts.'

he slowly pushed his tip inside. you shut your eyes tightly and juyeon stopped to give you time.

'no, no. go all the way in first,' you whined.

his dick filled your walls up to the brim. you tried to calm down your heavy breathing. you squeezed his hands in pain and he held still. juyeon placed a kiss on your mouth.

'you're doing so well, noona.', he praised you. 'just tell me when you feel ready to go.'

it did hurt but not quite as much as the other times. and no one had ever waited for you to actually adjust before beginning to pound into you.

juyeon distracted you with kisses and as you started getting more comfortable you slowly started moving your hips against him. you gave him a slight nod to tell him he could continue.

he still started off with a moderate tempo and you needed more.

'faster!' you urged him and he picked up the pace. the way he snapped his hips made you see stars.

the pain was now completely gone and you were lost in your own pleasure.

when he started  thrusting into you from behind, he hit spots inside you you had never felt before. the new position allowed him to go even deeper and faster than before.

you moaned surprised as he spanked you.

'you like this, noona?' you could only groan out his name to show him how you felt.

the knot in your stomach became tighter and tighter.

'I think I'm coming!' you manage to get out.

'come for me, noona!' with that he went into overdrive and fucked into you like a machine.

your arms gave in as your walls clenched around his huge cock tightly and you came hard while screaming his name.

he rode out your orgasm and then pulled out. he stroke his dick fast and shot his big load on your butt and back.

he lay down next to you exhausted. his fingers wiped away the tears of pleasure you didn't know you had cried.

'did I make you feel good, noona?' 'more than just good,' you admitted satisfied.

'I guess guys my age just don't know how to treat me.' he hummed in agreement.

'that makes no sense. you are absolutely gorgeous. they missed out on the opportunity to see your beautiful face when you come.' this was weird. he was still nice to you even after he already came. what was this?

'thank you for making my birthday wish come true,' he said. 'huh, what do you mean?' you questioned him.

'actually, I've noticed you on campus before but I was always too shy to talk to you.' 'oh really?' you laughed sceptically.

'yeah, I wanted to ask you on a date first but it seems like we skipped a couple of steps.' he was blushing. gosh, he was kind of adorable.

'I mean we could still go on those dates if you'd like, birthday boy.' strangely enough you felt like you could trust him and kind of wanted to get to know juyeon as a person.

'awesome,' he smiled at you before he pecked your lips and went to clean you both up.

you had completely forgotten about siyeon. hopefully, her night had been just as satisfying as yours had been.

[commonwealthoccurences]

Companions React: Sole Breaks Down

Request: “Could I ask for companions comforting a sole that’s usually an emotional rock, that they hadn’t seen this vulnerable ever? Like they come back from being away and just crumble into a sobbing mess. Pretty please?”

Note: *bangs spoon against pot* come get the hurt/comfort. CW: Mentions of unnamed characters deaths.

The setting:

Upon Preston’s request, Sole took off to a distant settlement to reorganize their resources, set up defenses, and bring them into the trade route. These excursions usually took about a week or two, so Sole could make sure they were fully stable before returning to Sanctuary to attend to their other duties. With this trip, however, they requested their companion stay in Sanctuary; they could handle this on their own, and the companion deserved a break.

Two weeks later, Sole returns, shoulders weighed down by their pack, ladened with goods the settlers had insisted they take with them. It had been a tough week, though that wasn’t really a new thing in Sole’s book, or anyone’s, really. Unfortunately, Sole hadn’t been able to predict the fact that some sort of disease would run through the tiny settlement while they were there, taking several of the members with it as it left.

They scrubbed at their skin in a nearby body of water every morning of those two weeks, rubbed raw and pink as a result of Sole’s quietly hysterical distress. They wanted no trace of settlement on them. There were elements of guilt in their relief to return home, but with returning home came the fact that they were safe enough to reflect on their weeks away from Sanctuary. There seemed to be no hiding from what had happened.

Sole got through the main street of Sanctuary well enough, sending nods to passing settlers, with a brief stop to drop off some of the food they had brought back with them with their local merchant; he would give it away to those that dropped in throughout the day. Once they made it down the road and to the entrance of their home, they felt the dam break. Their hands shook as they pulled the door open and moved inside, doing their best to ignore the tears that began to trickle down their face.

(*Gage’s scenario takes place upon their return to Nuka World’s Fizztop Grille)

Cait:

Cait was waiting just inside, having taken up residence in Sole’s living room with Dogmeat.

She went to make a joke about Sole being late, but when she looked up, she lost the words quite quickly

Sole’s shoulders were shaking, and it was quite obvious that they were trying to hide that they were crying, but it was impossible to not see

She practically tripped over herself to get to Sole, who was acting casual by rearranging the items in their back they had set on the floor

Her desire to comfort and protect Sole overrode her hesitance for physical affection and she found herself hugging Sole far too tightly than she should’ve

But it was partially panic on her end that caused her to grip them so tight

“Christ, what’s a matter?”

The only sound Sole made was a choking whimper and Cait gripped them even tighter

Curie:

She reads the distress in their stance the moment they cross the threshold into their home

Similarly to Cait, she gets up from where she’s sitting immediately, but stops short of Sole

“Oh, goodness. Are you alright?” She reaches out but doesn’t quite touch them, not wanting to intrude

Sole shakes their head, unable to disguise their very obvious distress

“Physical or emotional?”

Sole opens their mouth to say emotional and gets out about half the word before choking on their own breath and curling forward into themself

“Would you like a hug?” Her voice is quieter this time.

Sole nods and she brings them in for a soft hug, rubbing their back

Danse:

Danse is far more emotionally intelligent when it comes to other people’s feelings than people give him credit for

He’s seen it happen before; soldiers compartmentalize their emotions as much as they can, for years even, but everyone has a breaking point

And sometimes it’s over something one might consider small, like breaking a dish, or sometimes it’s loss that brings them to their knees, as it would anyone

Regardless, he’s known all along that one day Sole won’t be able to suppress their emotions anymore

When they come in crying and shaking, looking defeated, he’s unsurprised. Sad in an inevitably knowing sort of way

He gets up and walks over, taking their pack from their hands and helping them shed the heavy jacket that was weighing them down

He requests they sit and takes off their boots before going to get them a glass of water

He doesn’t say much, considering he doesn’t have much to say, but he’d much rather show how he cares via actions rather than words, anyway

Deacon:

He’s somewhat similar to Danse in the fact that he knows Sole’s going to need to break at some point, however it’s in less of a “I’ve seen this before” attitude and more in the fact that he can relate

But Sole has an easier time trusting than he does, so he knows their break is coming at some point, whereas he knows that there’s never going to be a point where he allows someone else to see what Sole is allowing him to witness

So when they stand there, defeated, looking over at him like a lost child, he simply opens his arms

He’s not one for hugs, but he makes exceptions, and it seems this is one of those situations that calls for an exception

When they sob into his shoulder, he pats them on the back and replies with a simple, “I know, Boss. I know.”

Gage:

Gage is chewing at a piece of dried Mirelurk, grimacing at the salty taste.

Sole makes their way across Fizztop Grille, dropping their pack carelessly next to one of the couches.

Similarly, they drop down next to Gage where he’s sitting overlooking the rest of Nuka World, not saying a word.

After a moment, punctuated by a very obvious sigh, Gage looks over at Sole. He chews contemplatively for a moment, “You and me both. Wanna talk about it?”

Sole shakes their head and Gage responds, “Cool.”

He pats them on the back, admittedly, awkwardly and a bit too harsh to be comforting, but it’s Gage

He’s doing his best

Haylen:

Haylen has Dogmeat in her lap chewing at a Radstag bone, her hand running mindlessly over his fur

She doesn’t jump up when Sole comes in, cautious at the idea of spooking them

“Sole,” She calls out, shifting to move her feet flat on the floor

When they don’t respond and instead sniffle, she’s motioning Dogmeat off her lap and stepping towards them

“Everything alright?”

Sole shakes their head and she presses her lips together in worry, “Anything I can help with?” another shake of Sole’s head

She brushes their hair away from their face with a soft, “Oh, Sole.” and brings them into a light side-hug

Hancock:

He really does like to think he keeps his cool easily, but he really doesn’t in this case

Sole’s crying and that’s not something he thought would ever happen

“Whoa, whoa. Talk to me, what’s going on, Sunshine?”

“Bad day.” Sole chokes out

He suppresses nervous laughter, knowing it can’t just be that, but lets it go and instead puts an arm around their shoulders to pull them in for a tight hug, snug and reassuring, with his other arm finding their waist

MacCready:

He’s alert immediately, thoughts jumping to them being hurt, and potentially fatally so

Considering he thinks its an emergency, he’s in front of them and examining them for injuries within seconds

Sole doesn’t protest for the longest time, but eventually they grab ahold of his wrists and shake their head

He stops for a moment and looks them over again before sighing; this is something he doesn’t know what to do about

“Sit. You’re going to collapse if you’re not careful.”

When they’re seated he helps them shrug off their coat and sits nearby, not pressuring, but available if they want to talk

Nick:

Nick’s view is similar to Danse’s, and he isn’t quite surprised when they come in crying

He sets the pen he was writing with down and shifts back in his chair, opening his arms for a hug if they want

When they cross the room he wraps them in a hug and rubs their lower back, trying his best with the awkward angle him sitting provides

“You need to take time for yourself.” He recommends, but other than that, he remains mostly silent

Piper:

The queen of panic, despite her best efforts

She’s used to tears because of her experiences with Nat, but not from Sole of all people

She does something similar to Mac, where she checks them over briefly, before she realizes this isn’t a physical injury that’s hurting them

She’s competing with Cait when it comes to tight hugs, wishing she could protect them from whatever’s bothering them so

A sympathy crier, she has to blink away her own tears

“Let it out, Blue. We can talk about it later, okay? Everything’s gonna be just fine. I swear.”

Preston:

Preston’s not sure how to handle things, considering how used to Sole being a rock he is

He knows it’s not quite right, considering he knows other people view him the same way, and it’s incredibly difficult being the one holding it together all the time, but he’s still genuinely surprised when he sees they’re crying

He knows what to do when he realizes what’s going on, though; exactly what he wishes he could request from someone else

He brings them into a hug and mumbles reassurances; that they don’t have to be the tough one all the time, that their emotions aren’t weakness, and that everything’s going to be okay

X6-88:

A fan of mutual silence, X6 helps them get comfortable and brings them into their room; he’s always viewed quarters as the safest place to be, both in the Institute and when Sole gave him his own quarters afterwards

He helps them into bed, making sure they’re comfortable, before asking if they have any small injuries they need addressed before settling in

If they say yes he cleans and dresses their wounds as gently as possible before settling into bed near them, a respectable distance away, but within reach if they need, and begins reading a book Sole left on their nightstand

He knows it’s hard to be alone when you’re being attacked by emotions, but they don’t seem to want to talk about what’s going through their head quite yet; instead, he rubs their back and encourages them to cry it out

[bibbykins]

Insufferable

A/N: The long-awaited flashback is here! It's short, but it is here! I hope this can really show the turning point in Jungkook's and MC's relationship and I would love to hear everyone's thoughts. As usual, tips are not required but greatly appreciate. Hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful day/night!

Note: This is a part (specifically a flashback) of The Household's Bunny series, so I recommend reading at least the Prologue before this one

Word count: 3.6k

Pairing: Soft Yandere! Jungkook x Chubby! Reader

Summary: Roommates are bound to have arguments, especially when one of them is as temperamental as Jungkook, but you didn't expect the first argument to get so unbelievably personal.

Warnings: abandonment issues, mommy issues, allusions to past abuse, family issues, crying, yelling, vomiting, panic attack, exhaustion, some soft yandere thoughts, some possessiveness, jungkook is mean and the MC gets a little mean too

There was something so constricting about memories of a shitty childhood. There were times when looking in the mirror felt like searching for the child in you so you could give her the hug she desperately needed. There were times when waking up felt like a check to make sure you were no longer in the home you had to grow up in far too quickly. However, the comfort of being in a different home only came so far when you didn't have anyone beside you or even emotionally available enough to talk to.

You stayed in bed for hours before it felt like a good idea to move, almost waiting for the mirage of change to fade before it brought you back to the gym with your mom or your uncle's apartment littered with whiskey bottles and leaky tear ducts.

Sometimes putting your best foot forward each day felt so hard with all-consuming loneliness clinging to your heels.

You had started your day going through your memory box. Hindsight said that was a poor idea. The box was a sure way to get you into a bad mood. You liked to think you breezed past all the stages of grief, but just because you accepted reality didn't make it hurt any less. The box was a strong reminder of that much as it sat with a melancholic aura. The creme color faded and the thorned vines connected to roses only added to the malicious undertones of its existence to your mental health. It was full of childhood photos, your birth certificate, school achievements, and the last known address your mom had.

Ah, your mom. What a way to bring clouds to your sunny day. You don’t know why you put yourself through the turmoil of the memory box. Maybe you were hoping it would be easier by now. You were always wrong. Looking through childhood photos and finding no love in the eyes of your mother when she looked at you and watching the love in your uncle’s eyes fade with your mother’s presence. You got to the fated birthday card, thumb rubbing over the defunct address longingly. You held the envelope in your hand, inspecting the birthday card she sent you. Three words in the repetitive note written on the inside caught your eye, and not the ones you so desperately wanted from her.

Feeling a familiar pressure behind your eyes, you tossed the card aside and stood. It was time to eat, go on a walk, do anything other than this. You found your way to the kitchen and came across a silent and solemn Jungkook. His jaw was clenched, but it felt like it always was around you.

Your relationship with Jungkook so far was not very complicated, in the way it was nonexistent. He either didn’t care about talking to you or he actively didn’t want to, you really couldn’t tell. This didn’t stop you from trying, though. Like an idiot.

“I’m making food, did you want any?” You asked from your place seated on the couch, and the silence that was his response for deafening, “Okaaaay.” You sang awkwardly, “I just know that you usually don’t eat throughout the day and-”

“And what do you know?!” He snapped, blinded by his pure and unbridled, but most important unprovoked, rage of you. Your eyes widened and your body jumped. Holy shit, you had never heard him yell like this, “You don’t know anything about me, or in general, so just stop trying so fucking hard!” He was harsh in his tone and it lit your whole nervous system on fire. What the hell did you do to him?

You shook your head, not sure why he was yelling about, but it made your throat feel like it was going to close, “Look, I was just trying to be polite, but you don’t need to talk about me like you understand-”

“Understand?! What’s there to understand?” He challenged, eyes wide like he was expecting you to say something but he continued, “You’re some spoiled girl living here rent-free because your precious dad doesn’t want to take care of you.”

Your heart caught in your throat as it shattered. He was right, your dad didn't want to take care of you, but not in the way he thought. Why was he doing this? Has he genuinely felt this way all along? Was he just holding in his anger until you poked the bear a little too hard? “You don’t need to yell at me.” You stated firmly and it seemed to only make things worse.

“And you don’t need to fucking be here in the first place!” He spoke, temper long lost and you could hear his voice mix in with Jungyoon’s, all he needed was a bottle of whisky and a set of calloused hands, “You didn’t need to fucking live here-”

“You don’t know anything about me.” You spat out. Now, you were losing your temper. You could take a beating, but for only so long, especially as an adult, "And it's not like you're paying rent either, so what do you know about me or my living arrangements?" You hissed and you watched his eyes flare, making you nearly regret your provocation.

“No, but I know how you look naked-”

“Fuck you.” You spit the word out at him, something you haven’t done to another person for a while “Don’t weaponize my work or play a game that you absolutely will lose.” You warned, “I know all about you, and I can use that, because you’ve been a star since you were 15, and that sucks, that makes you mad, doesn’t it?” Your temper effectively lost as you ripped into the rage-filled man before you, “Yet you don’t know anything about me, and that must piss you the fuck off, huh?” You stood from the couch, tears building in your eyes before you could stop it.

“I know enough, spoiled rich girl.” He seethed and you laughed humorlessly at this worldwide pop star calling you spoiled and rich.

“Not only are you wrong, but you’re also a poor listener.” You shot back, “I’ve told you all before Jungyoon isn’t my fucking dad, he’s my uncle.” His mouth opened but you cut him off before he could start, “He can’t stand the sight of me so he travels for work.” Your tears are undoubtedly falling, but you can’t stop, “And you’re talking to me like this because what? You had a scandal or something?” You gave him his chance to talk and boy, he took it.

“Mona told me you know your mom.” His voice was like venom, “So, why the fuck are you here? You have your blood relatives.” He exaggerated the word like it meant anything to you, “Why are you here, disrupting our lives, acting like an innocent orphan girl around actual fucking orphans-”

“I never said I was or acted like an orphan!” You exclaimed incredulously before scoffing, “That’s why you’re mad? Because you never knew your mom and I did? Because I know who my blood family is?” You could laugh at how ridiculous that was, “I know them, so what? Where does that get me?” You looked at him expectantly but he didn’t talk, “I knew my mom, and guess what? She just didn’t fucking want me.” He was silent, but you still couldn’t stop, “I’m sure if your mom could’ve got to know you, she would’ve kept you, because you’re not insufferable to be around, you’re just a fucking asshole.” You wiped at your cheeks furiously, “But me? I had 15 years to prove myself and it still wasn’t enough. I still wasn’t enough. Jungyoon never wanted me either, he got stuck with me and had to cope.” Your voice began to break and you had to take a breath, “I was the insufferable one, so-” You stopped, finally as you regained your sense of reality and watched Jungkook who had an unreadable expression and the realization of the word vomit you spilled out to him hit you like a train as you exhaled quickly, rage in your voice quickly replaced with soft melancholy “I am the insufferable one here, so there.” You shrugged, face a wet mess, “Hope that brings you peace.” Your stomach was churning as you turned on your heel, unable to hold in your sobs. You couldn’t bear the awkwardness of waiting for the elevator so you opted to take the stairs.

You sobbed louder as the door slammed shut behind you, but you didn’t want to linger so you bolted down the stairs, the bile in your stomach signaling that you needed to find the nearest trashcan and quickly. You made it to the ground floor and spilled your guts into the small trashcan. Yelling always made you unbelievably ill, whether it was getting yelled at or yelling, the sickness it made you feel overflowed. The yelling only reminded you of-

You vomited again at the mere thought. You cried harder when you finally finished, breathing becoming staggered as you began to panic.

Fuck, they’re gonna kick you out, and then you’ll be alone again. You lost your temper, people don’t like other people who lose their temper. Why couldn’t you just mind your own fucking business and leave him be? You’re stupid. Why do you think you’ve been alone all your life? It’s because people don’t want to be near you. You’re-

“Insufferable.” You mumbled, numb, even if for only a moment.

Sure, Jungkook provoked you, but you knew better. You didn't go to therapist after therapist throughout your adolescence for nothing. You felt as if you set yourself back eons after that outburst. He didn't need to know all that about you, ever. He probably didn't even care to know, and you said it anyway, like you were gunning for gold in the trauma Olympics. You didn't want to minimize his struggles, you just wanted him to shut up and stop yelling at you. You let your eyes flutter closed as you cried. How can you complain about being alone when you're like this?

You don’t know how long you stayed there, sitting next to a trash can full of your vomit as you wallowed in your self-hatred. The all-consuming loneliness the boisterous house subdued returning with full force. Jungkook was right. You didn’t need to be here. You were only disrupting their routine.

You blew out a sigh as you staggered to the elevator, fully set on going up to your room and crying yourself to sleep after you clean up. You brought the trashcan with you, not having the heart to just leave your puke down there. You thanked your lucky stars when Jungkook was no longer on the second floor as you went to the kitchen and rinsed your mouth before going to take out the trash and take out your burnt oven pizza. Finally, you were headed back up to your floor. You watched the numbers tick by with tired eyes. You glared at the empty trashcan, electing to take it with you instead of making the trip back down to put it back. Surely, they wouldn’t need it for a few hours.

The elevator dinged as you grabbed the black plastic bin and then you were met with Jungkook. Relief flashed across his face before irritation settled on it, “Where the fuck were you?!” He asked hurriedly as you trudged past him, too exhausted to fight. You were running on autopilot the whole way up here, and you couldn’t bear another spat.

“I was on the first floor.” Your voice was low, trying to communicate you were done arguing as you lifted the bin as proof. You then set it down and went to your bathroom and began brushing your teeth.

He scoffed, “You were on the first floor for 30 minutes?” He asked as if he caught you in a lie but you nodded as you rinsed your mouth.

You were down there for thirty minutes? No wonder you felt so tired.

“Yep.” You popped the last letter before correcting yourself, “Well, I spent like 10 minutes cleaning up that bin, so not exactly.”

“Why?” He asked as if you were being ridiculous, as if he wasn’t the one on your floor demanding answers.

“I vomited.” You spoke simply and before he could ask, “Yelling makes me puke.” You were so blase about it he sighed in frustration.

You walked to your room and froze when you saw your memory box strewn about, and it was like a dam broke all over again. You looked at the photos, at the eager little girl looking for love in places she would never find it.

Old habits die hard.

Before you could even stop yourself, you sunk to your knees in garbled sobs and broken cries, “Hey, hey, wait.” Jungkook’s shaky voice did nothing to bring you back to reality as you cried. His hands placed themselves on your shoulder, making you flinch violently, much to his horror.

Fuck, he didn’t know how to do this. He didn’t know why you were crying, but he knew it was his fault, at least in part. Even if at this moment it wasn’t, his outburst surely didn’t help. Fuck, he’s so dumb. Fuck, he shouldn’t have talked to Mona just moments before seeing you.

The envy of even seeing your own mother’s face ate up at him and he took it out on you. Not to mention that he made you vomit from the yelling. He suddenly felt more like an arrogant asshole than he did before as his hands now hovered over your form and he took a moment to look at your room.

Scattered on the floor were childhood photos and ribbons from competitions. Things Mona kept in her own house, having a whole wall filled with every one of their achievements. Even Jin had a photo album of their things. And you, you kept all these for yourself. You were the only one who cared enough to save these things and he wondered how much you threw away to maintain space in the small empty box. Fuck, he didn’t know how to do this.

You sighed shakily, “You can just go.” You cried, “You don’t have to be here.” You don’t know what he could possibly gain from watching you cry.

“I know.” His voice was calm, even, “Can I help you up?” He asked and you wanted to look up at him in confusion but you didn't want him to see your tears.

You both had just ripped into each other, and here he was, wanting to help you. Why would he do that? Why would he stay when he doesn't have to? Why would he want to help you up after a fight?

Too tired to even think about questioning him and no longer angry at him, you simply scoffed, “Can you?” You sighed, not having the energy to stroke his ego and stand up without his help.

You never let people bear your dead weight, not wanting the awkwardness if they couldn’t carry you, but right now, you just wanted to lay down.

He snorted lightly, happy to hear anything other than a sob for you, “Don’t worry about me, you just cry and mind your business.” He spoke lightly, and the comment made you fight a smile. Then, he lifted you with so much ease, you figured he was trying to show off as he placed you on the bed. He looked at you after he sat on the floor before his eyes caught onto the gold foil of a 16th birthday card. You were wiping at your face as he read the card against his better judgment.

I know you must be confused, and I can’t help that. I wish I could pretend to be a mom, but I can’t. I can’t be your mom, and I never should have tried. It would be best if we forgot each other. I just can’t keep pretending, and I know you can see it, even if you don’t want to.

I’m so tired.

-Mom

Now, he felt even more like an asshole. He also felt a little bit angry that your mother could just leave you behind without so much as saying sorry. She wrote like she was a teenager and you were her mother. She obviously didn't put much thought into the seemingly last message to her daughter and it made his heartbreak for you, “That was the last I heard of her.” You snapped him from his thoughts and he looked at your puffy face, “She had left months earlier, and then I got that, but she moved before I could try to see her one more time.” There was a distant ache in your words as you looked at Jungkook sitting amongst your memories.

“Is she… still alive?” He asked, not sure why he felt the need to know.

“Not sure, but it doesn’t make much of a difference, I guess.” You blew out a sigh, before looking at your papers and folded posterboards, “I was cleaning out my memory box, and I’m not sure why I do it when I know it just upsets me.” You could still feel tears leaking from your eyes as Jungkook picked up a photo of you on your 14th birthday, posed between Jungyoon and your mom. You had a bright smile on your face and they looked at the camera with a tight expression, “You can really see how much they didn’t want to be there, but that's the happiest they look in all of the photos.”

He wanted to say you were wrong, but he could see it. He could see the happy little girl trying to make up for the unhappy adults around her. He knew he should’ve asked Mona why Jungyoon didn’t try to call or visit or why she was so eager to take you in if you knew your family. He should’ve just known better. Yeah, he understood how it felt to be alone growing up, they all did, but by the time they were all 17 they had a home that wanted them. You were going to graduate from college soon and you still felt unwanted.

No thanks to him.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted and you looked at him with wide eyes, “For being an asshole, I’m sorry- and for making you cry. I just…” He shrugged, “You’re right. I was jealous you knew your mom and I already was suspicious of you and I- I’m dumb, and I’m sorry.” He looked at you, eyes a bit glossy and you wondered when was the last time someone apologized for making you cry.

“It’s okay.” You smiled weakly, “You are dumb, but that’s okay.” You chuckled when he frowned, but eventually, he also broke into a short laugh, “I think… we’ve felt a lot of the same things in different ways, so I can’t blame you.” He wondered how you could be so forgiving, and he was scared of how many times that has gotten you hurt, “I like living here and I like all of you, so I hope I can get you all to like me too, even if just a little.”

“Don’t accept less than you deserve.” He spoke firmly before he started picking up your memory box, putting things neatly back in.

“Wh-”

He waved his hands nonchalantly, “You, sleep, I’ll clean this up and order some food.” He didn’t look at you as he said this, mostly to hide his blush, "If...If you want, I can give this to Jin. He has a whole place he keeps our stuff like this… he's really sentimental." He stumbled, still refusing to look at you.

However, he jumped when he heard you hiccup a cry. Ready to apologize, Jungkook was just about to turn to look at you until he heard you speak, "That… That sounds very sweet of you to do." You wiped a sentimental tear away as the blushing boy remained frozen.

"It's Jin's hobby, not mine." He deflected before waving his hand at you, "Sleep, I said." He frantically demanded.

You could see his ears getting red and you smiled, “Yes, sir.” You mocked in your work voice and made him freeze for a moment as you erupted into giggles while he whined, “Okay, okay, I’ll sleep.”

Eventually, you surrendered to your exhaustion as he delicately put away your papers and photos. He hummed lightly, smiling as he came across your debate team awards. No wonder he lost the fight before it even started. He turned around after lifting the box and sighed almost dreamily as he watched your sleeping face. You were beautiful, delicate, and puffy from the tears. He had the urge to keep apologizing for being such an asshole, but after looking through your achievements and your photos, he resolved to just keep proving it.

He wouldn’t let you get hurt again. Not by him or anyone, especially your mother, even Jungyoon was on thin ice.

His blood boiled at the thought of your mother for a reason he couldn’t understand. His hand extended shakily as he pulled the covers up to your shoulder and you hummed contently, making his heart melt a bit at the little smile you had. He wouldn’t fuck up with you again, not like this. He would be nice, at least a little, and first and foremost, he would order food you liked.

He froze.

Fuck, what food do you like?

He relaxed. Well, he could just ask the guys.

Fuck, they’re gonna ask questions.

Fuck, they’re gonna kill him when they found out he made you cry.

He looked back at your sleeping form, not having the heart to wake you up. He sighed, looks like he’ll just have to bite the bullet. He dreaded each moment as he quickly made an untitled group chat with the guys since you were added to their original one. He could only hope Taehyung wouldn’t change the group chat name to something stupid.

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