#but not at the 9-year-old thing??? hello??? in what universe is the first worse than the second lmaoo??

[ncityzen]

.

[back2bluesidex]

Slide - The Ultimate Decision - MYG

Pairing: Producer!Yoongi X Lyricist!Reader 

Theme: Angst, smut, unplanned pregnancy. Fwb to ?

Word count: 2.2k+

Summary: 

"I can't feel my legs Hop right on the ledge, jump right off the edge"

Alternatively, 

Worst decisions are always driven by anger and alcohol; but sometimes those are also driven by Love.

Warnings: so much angst, reader's inner turmoil, unplanned pregnancy, yoongi is making things worse, Hoseok is the doctor but he is not to be shipped with the reader here, he is a catalyst though, pining, so much pining.

Listened to Slide by Chase Atlantics

Minors do not interact!!

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Patreon (for early access)

A/N: The next chapter from the present timeline.

Taglist requests are closed for now

Read the next chapter

You fumble with your phone, scrolling down numbers after numbers but can’t find a single contact you can call at a time like this. 

The pregnancy testing kit lies on your left hand as if it has been tattooed on your skin. For some reason, you don’t feel dread creeping up through the path of your neck. 

Should you cry? Should you call Yoongi and curse him to your heart’s content? Should you ask him to take the responsibility when he is about to start living his old happy life again? 

Probably you should. 

But the thing is… you can’t bring yourself to do any of those. 

You don’t even know what you should feel or what you need to feel at a moment like this. 

You don’t even have any idea of what’s going to be your next move. 

Will you keep the baby? Or will you choose to abort it? 

But before everything, you should consult with someone, who is wiser than you. 

Your fingers hover above your mother’s contact ID, even though you know your calls are going to go unnoticed, unanswered, ignored as if you never came out of her womb. 

And things will turn even uglier if she answers your call and you manage to tell her what you have done to yourself, more or less willingly. 

So you let your phone fall limp on your lap. 

How funny - you have absolutely no one to confide in. no family, no friends, no one. 

As soon as the realization hits, your eyes start turning blurry. 

Tear drops escape one by one, dampening your cheeks, throat, collarbones. You caress your stomach. 

“What do I do now?” the mumble comes out choked. And then you are thinking of him again. 

How he cried in his sleep the first time you brought him here with you. How he repeated his actions again during his last visit here. 

Both of the time you stood on the sidelines, the center of his universe has always been Gyuri. 

In the end, though, you have been the one affected - with blooming warmth in your chest and in turn a presence of life in your womb. 

As you think of Yoongi, your mind runs back to the man who had helped you in picking him up from the streets. 

You still remember, his card said he was an obgyn. 

Your tears cease. 

Yes. As much as you need a friend or family right now, you need an expert too. 

Standing abruptly from your bed, you run toward the other side of it, reaching out for the night stand, where you had kept the man’s card more than a year ago. 

You don’t have to struggle much to find out the card, it’s there as if it has been waiting to be found all these times. 

Holding the card in your hand, opens the flood gate of fresh memory of that night, of Yoongi’s dirty face, vomit all over his clothes and him holding you tightly in his sleep. 

That was the first and last time. 

He never held you for a second time, unless you were having sex. 

Pushing down the depressing thoughts, you grab your phone and with swift fingers dial the number of the man - Jung Hoseok. 

The clock reads 9 pm on a Wednesday night. And you pray, this is not past his business hours, he has no such mentions in the card as well. 

The universe seems to grant your prayer this time, probably out of sheer pity, as the man accepts the call on the fourth ring. 

“Hello, It’s Dr. Jung Hoseok, how can I help you?” The man speaks with a professional tone that sets you on an unexplainable ease. 

“Hi, uh, I am sorry to call you like this but I had managed to get my hands on your card and I think I need your help. I, um, I’m pregnant. And I think I need an appointment.” your hands start sweating now when you realize all of it is real. You are pregnant with the baby of a man who doesn’t love you. 

Pathetic. 

“How many weeks are you?” the man asks with the same professional pronunciation. 

“I don’t know. I just found out a few minutes ago. This is my first time and I don’t know what to do.” you speak honestly. 

These are the same words you want to confess to a friend, to your mother as well and most importantly to Yoongi. But talking to a stranger, about how helpless you are, is much less nerve-wracking. 

“You are not a teenager, are you?” he speaks, suspicion laced in his voice. 

A sudden chuckle leaves your throat, “I’m twenty seven.” 

The other side of the line only hums and then after a beat he says, “we usually don’t accept appointments made via phone calls but I can guide you on how to book one. If that’s okay with you?” 

“Anything is okay with me.” 

And you are not lying. At this hour, alone in your apartment, robbed off options, in the lack of a confidant - any assistance is okay with you. 

Any assistance is fine if that means you will be able to figure out what you are going to do with a baby in your womb, gifted by the man whom you let destroy yourself for the sake of love. 

The appointment is due at 3 in the afternoon and right now the clock is at 1:26. 

The hospital is an hour's drive away, hence, if you leave now, you will still have a 30 minutes on your hand. 

But the problem is that you didn’t inform anyone formally about this secretive appointment. Applying an official leave would raise questions about the nature and reason of the appointment and you don’t want that. 

You want to protect this truth with every drop of blood your body owns. 

So, you decide to quickly drop by Namjoon's office and tell him you need the rest of the day off for some emergency. 

For a matter you know Namjoon is not privy enough to inquire about the so-called emergency. 

Much to your dismay, your plans shatter like a porcelain vase as soon as you open the door of Namjoon’s office. Because one, there is no Namjoon, two, there is Min Yoongi. 

Yoongi’s expression mimics yours as he takes you in, standing there, staring at him as if he didn’t fuck you raw and left you with consequences just a month ago. 

But then again… a month of radio silence, a month of stolen glances, a month of no skin contact, a month of no Min Yoongi was more painful than you’d dare to admit. 

Your heart thumps inside your chest as you realize, you are standing in front of the man whose baby is currently in your womb. 

You are carrying a baby! And that’s Min Yoongi’s! Screams your mind at the loudest possible volume. 

But still, by some miraculous strength, you manage to smile at him.

A casual, nonchalant smile as you are used to. 

Except this time, Yoongi doesn’t smile back. 

He looks at you with eyes so deep that you fear you will succumb to them yet again if you stay here for a moment longer. 

“Where’s Namjoon?” you get straight to the point, without wasting your time in any greeting. 

“Y/N. Wait.” but you have always been weak to the way Yoongi calls your name. This time, you are hearing it after what feels like an eternity. 

“He went out to escort a guest.” Yoongi says, flatly, his tone devoid of any emotions. It’s tough to believe he cried in your arms a month ago.

“Oh. Then can you please let him know that I have an emergency and I have left for the day? Thank you.” you don’t wait for his reply as you start turning your heels to run away already. 

His voice works like glue and stops you in your tracks. You are now unable to move. A cold, calloused palm comes in contact with your upper arm, forcing you to face the man. 

When you face him, you see his face and expression has softened. The stoic expression is now gone and you are afraid of what to make out of it. 

This is not pity, is it? 

“How are you? It’s been so long- I wanted to see you but-” 

“But there is no reason to do so, right?” you finish his sentence for him, “I am fine, Yoongi. How are you? How’s Gyuri?” 

“All good.” he ignores the mention of the woman, "What's the emergency? Are you alright?” He places the back of his palm on your forehead, checking your body temperature. 

Your eyes fill to the brim. You need to leave right now or you will start crying. 

“I- I’m fine.” you lie, removing his hand from your skin, “it’s just something personal.” 

Yoongi frowns at that “oh. You can tell me. If you need any he-” 

“I can take care of it myself, Yoongi. You have a life to lead, you have better days ahead now, why would you even care about me? I was just a fleeting chapter anyway. Please- please don’t act like our time together meant anything to you. Please, I beg.” try as you might, you couldn’t contain it anymore. 

Just like you, Yoongi, too, is taken aback with your outburst. Though his eyes are kind, if you dare to add, then those might as well be in pain. 

But his next words only break you further, “wasn’t it a given? A silent agreement that our time together wouldn’t mean much to any of us?” 

Is he challenging you? Trying to elicit a further reaction? Is it a knife to dig more in your fresh wounds? 

If yes, then you will do everything to disappoint him. 

You nod, “Yeah. You are right. Forget I have said anything. Bye.” 

Yoongi opens his mouth to say something but you are faster than his words. Before he manages to say a word, you are out of the door and shutting it on his face. 

He is cruel. 

He has always been. 

But you still love him. 

You have always had. 

The fact that Yoongi can be a little heartless has never been a shock to you. 

Nevertheless, it didn’t harm you any less when he let those careless words out of his mouth. Then again, you can not even blame him because you had been the one to place your heart in his hands and asked him to play with it. 

In the end, it’s your fault. 

And you are already paying the price in more ways than one. 

“Miss Y/N?” a nurse calls your name, pulling you out of your miserable thoughts, “you can go in now.” 

With a bow and a forced smile you leave the waiting area and enter the OPD room. 

A man is sitting at the desk, with his scrubs and white coat on, the nameplate on the table says he is the one who helped you out that night. He is Jung Hoseok. 

You failed to look at his face that night, being too busy with tending Yoongi. But now that you are looking at him, he seems to be the embodiment of everything that’s positive, light, bright - much unlike you (or Yoongi for that matter). 

His eyes light up as he takes you in, with a big smile he says, “oh? You are Miss Y/N? I remember you clearly. Please take the seat.” 

You wonder how it's even possible to recall you after seeing you once, that too a year ago, “You do?” 

“Yes. I still remember that night and your friend.” He mentions Yoongi.

If he sees the man’s mention dims you even further then he doesn’t say anything but he chooses to change the topic right away, “have you filled the form?” 

“Yes.” you hand him the piece of paper. 

He goes through it all at once, probably having everything memorized, but his eyes get stuck at one point. And you have an idea what it can be. 

“As I can see, you have not added anyone as your closest contact?” he says with a careful tone.

“Yes.” you reply briefly. 

“You need to add one person at least, maybe a friend, or a family, or the father of the baby.” he suggests. 

“I- No one knows about this just yet. I don’t have any immediate friend or family who could help me out.” your hands are now shaking. 

“Sorry to pry, but what about the father of the baby?” Jung Hoseok leans a little further on the table, as if trying to measure your facial expressions. 

“He is unaware of the situation.” 

“Are you sure you want the baby?” he voices in the softest possible tone anyone has ever used against you. 

“Yes. I want to keep the baby.” and that’s it. If the baby is one last proof of what Yoongi had with you for no less than a year, if the baby is a proof that Yoongi had once held you, cried in your arms, dipped inside you to forget his own complications, then you want to keep it. 

And this will be your ultimate decision no matter what anyone else says. 

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[ssmtskw]

Hello and welcome!

Replacing my pinned with a list of the stuff I've written for anyone checking my account out. Heh. Everything is sorted by fandom, and then word count! (And if there's something I should add to the tagging, please feel free to send me a message about it so I can make the edits.) Enjoy... hopefully!

RWRB

some part of me came alive - 10,979 words [college-ish AU, 5+1]

"Bye David." David's head snaps back to Alex's direction, eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly you'd think it wasn't even there. Alex, having just removed his glasses again as he yawns once more, doesn't see it. David takes a couple seconds before slightly shaking his head, like he's just imagining something and is now actively wiping the thought away. He opens the door before he responds. "Bye Alex."

(Or: The five times Alex unintentionally calls Henry by his dog’s name, and the one time he does it on purpose.)

Francesca - 10,189 words [graphic depictions and references of violence/abuse/injuries]

Once, in a much worse place before all of this; Alex had worked for someone with one side of his office overflowing with books. He'd read all sorts of things there: Anatomy, selected works in philosophy, Oliver Twist, war hero accounts, law. Anything he could get a hold of in the dark, really. Among those books were a bible. There's a passage there that stuck— something he'd only read past but had barraged into the walls of Alex's mind three years ago, Book of Jeremiah, chapter 17, verse 9: The heart is more deceitful than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?

Love Songs in the Key of Liam - 8,152 words [Liam POV/centric, 5+1]

It's fucked. He's fucked — Liam, that is. There was no way this was going to work. Ever. What's the next worst thing to growing up closeted in a typically close-minded neighbourhood? Probably developing a crush on your best friend who lives in said neighbourhood. (Or: The five times love songs reminded Liam of his now estranged best friend, and the one time it reminded him of someone else.)

Terrible Things - 4,038 words [Hanahaki AU, hurt/no comfort]

"How long?" That, he can answer. "A year or so." He croaks out, not really wanting to strain himself any further.

water in my hands - 3,521 words [sickfic(?), has references to illness, hurt/no comfort]

It takes Alex a good amount of time to realise; sometimes love just isn't enough to keep the world going, even if he desperately wanted it to.

no question (he'll hold your heart if you let him) - 2,837 words [June POV/outsider POV, post-canon]

June doesn't think much about it at first, putting the box along the pile, but she belatedly realises what it is and gets an idea. A satisfied grin makes its way onto her lips when she finally finds it, an edition of Astrotalk that detailed star sign compatibilities. June doesn't open the magazine all the way to the Libra section, stopping short at someone else's instead. (Or: June finds a box that contained one of her teenage fixations and goes through it for old time's sake.)

Smoke Slow - 2,026 words [shotgun kissing oneshot basically]

“Hey.” Alex says, just for the sake of saying something, the silence between them wasn’t stifling but he didn’t want to risk their interaction coming to an end just because he’s not engaging enough. Henry gives him a sideways glance. “Teach me how to do that.”

“Do what?”

“That. The shotgun.” For a moment, Alex briefly considers how idiotic that probably sounded to Henry. It wasn’t a hard task to mimic, but Alex had long thrown out his composure out the fences of Pez’s house when Henry put the goddamn stick into his mouth. 

i'll be happy (just to have known you) - 1,855 words [hurt/no comfort]

Henry resigns himself to the reality that Alex—albeit distant and unattainable—still managed to break through his dismal world and grant him a light he never imagined was still possible to exist. This was enough. This was more than he'd ever expected for himself. It was the universe's way of extending an olive branch in response to the cards he'd been dealt with. He'd be stupid not to take it.

dreamy little you - 1,666 words [crack-ish AU, post-canon]

"Of course, love, but would you love yourself if you were a worm?" This visibly stumps Alex. If the way his mouth just opened for a rebuttal and coming up empty is anything to go by.

only got a hundred - currently at 4,008 words

An ongoing collection of 100-word drabbles written according to the Brownstone server's prompts.

Haikyuu

Ceilings (he thinks it's not real, it is) - 6,009 words [light angst and pining with a happy? ending]

“Yo, you sleepy?” Takahiro meant to say that no, he isn't. That Issei looks stupid with his hair messed up like that. That he should be asking Issei that, with the bags under his eyes speaking for themselves. Instead, what comes out is, “I miss you.” It would be so easy to take the opportunity now. But still, Takahiro is terrified of ruining things. Or: Takahiro has graduation blues, and Issei makes him feel better, but things don't just end there.

Bloom - 1,444 words [two-dialogue challenge oneshot, retrospective? angst/no comfort]

Matsukawa Issei is not much of a sentimental person, save for special occasions where he has no choice but to reminisce.

Cruel (what your mind can do for no reason) - 1,012 words [light angst/comfort, implications of dissociation]

Issei struggles through a bad mental health night, Takahiro breezes him through the tail end of it.

Shameless (US)

big guns out, shoot now - 3,257 words [first kiss oneshot]

It's kind of out of character for Ian, really, he's always careful about not blurting out or doing shit that tapped into his feelings on the brunette, around the very subject of his affections. Has been, in fact, for the last two years and counting. Not that it got any easier to maintain, there are always slip ups (Exhibit A: right here, right now), but that's solely his problem.

On the Off Chance - 5,780 words [soulmate AU, ongoing]

To say Ian was relieved when he hears Mickey confirm how he did not, in fact, get his soulmate mark just a couple days after coming of age would be a huge understatement. (Or: Soulmate marks only show up when the younger of the pair turns nineteen– which isn’t uncommon, to say the least.)

[eleanorbloom]

Skeptical (w/ Tobias Carrick)

Book: OH: TY. Characters: Eleanor Bloom (MC), Tobias Carrick, Aurora Emery, and Bryce Lahela (briefly). Summary: Eleanor confronts Tobias about Aurora. Rewrite of Book 3, Ch. 9.

Word Count: 2.1k Rate/Warnings: Teen, few curse words.

A/N: Hello! I'm bringing something different than usual. PB has been doing like Tobias never used Aurora, like he never hurt my friend (and LI too) and personally, I can't stand it. So here's my take about it. I wrote it with Eleanor instead of Rosalía because in Rosalía's universe Aurora never tranfers to Mass Kenmore.

Hope you like it!

Taglist: @romereadingshop @starrystarrytrouble @penda-bear @queenelianar @julia-highstorms @mercury84choices @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations I'm using my Aurora x Rosalía taglist because I thought you might be interested in reading this. Feel free to ignore it if only want to read romance lol

_________

Eleanor furrowed her lips as she was listening to Tobias telling his side of the story with Ethan.

When Tobias joined the Diagnostic Team, she was very dubious about everything that involved him. She didn't know him enough but the few things she knew about weren't good.

His blatant competitive attitude, the feud with Ethan, the fact that he was hired by Leland without consulting Ethan. All those signs telling her she shouldn’t trust Tobias.

But once she got to know him better, her image of him started to change. He wasn't the insufferable he was the first day, he was actually charismatic and rather funny. Easy going once she knew him past his competitive attitude, and she had learned a lot with him even if Tobias wasn't the type of Doctor she would normally admire. His values were totally opposed to hers, as she learned with Francis' case.

But still, something was stopping her from actually trusting him.

She did believe he was sorry for the stupid, childish attitude he had with Ethan, and seemed to be acting according to that, trying to make up for his mistakes.

He deserved a second chance.

But her skepticism had nothing to do with the Diagnostics Team or Ethan.

It was about Aurora.

“What is it? You don't believe me?” Tobias asked when Eleanor hadn't said a word since he finished his story. Trying to hide his concern, he gave her a mischievous smirk.

Eleanor didn’t know what to say.

It was hard to believe he wasn’t the same person who sabotaged his own friend when last year he used a person to get what he wanted. He hired Aurora to entice Harper to work in Mass Kenmore.

He hurt her friend, even unknowingly. And Eleanor couldn’t forget that or just get past that.

“Why do you say that?” Eleanor asked, trying to conceal her skepticism, but there was no use. She had always been too transparent with her emotions, and this time wouldn't be the exception.

“Well, you don’t look too convinced with what I told you.”

He was right. She wasn’t.

Eleanor sighed. Should she tell him? It wasn't her problem to tell, it was Aurora's, and knowing her, she would never confront Tobias about it. She barely had confronted her Aunt because they were family, but in no way she would face the umpteenth person that used her to get to Harper Emery.

“Come on, we're among friends here. I confided in you really top secret stuff, Elle.”

Eleanor grimaced at the sound of that name on his lips.

"I prefer Ellie if you don't mind. The only person that calls me Elle is my partner."

Tobias' hazel eyes widened in surprise for a brief second, “Sure, sure, my bad. Ellie it is.”

Eleanor nodded.

“So? Come on, be honest. I won’t get mad at you because you can’t believe I wanna mend up things with Ethan.”

“It’s not that. This is not about Ethan.”

“Then what is this about?”

Eleanor pondered her words. What was the best way to approach this?

“I believe you regret what you did to Ethan, but it's hard to tell you have changed since that.”

His brows knitted in curiosity, but for a brief second, embarrassment flashed features, “Okay, that's fair. Can I ask what makes you believe that?”

Eleanor wasn't particularly a confrontational person. Only when a person pressed her buttons she would actually confront that said person. And Tobias hadn't pressed any buttons, but the chance that they would have this kind of conversation in the future was extremely low. And she really needed to tell him that, in order to have a more amicable relationship with him.

“The fact that you used a person to get what you want.”

Tobias frowned, “Eleanor, what are you talking about?”

He was incredulous. And oblivious. Apparently, he had no idea where she was going with that accusation.

“You used Aurora to get Harper to work in Mass Kenmore,” Eleanor said, and Tobias' face disfigured instantly, “You didn't hire Aurora because she was a good doctor, but because she was Harper Emery's niece.”

“How did you know?”

“When you went to pick up some stuff after the Solomon Kenmore partnership, Aurora and I heard the discussion you had with Harper.”

Tobias winced in earnest regret.

"You seem like a decent person now that I know you, but even if your mistake with Ethan was years ago, what you did with Aurora is as much condemnable as what you did to him, and this happened just last year."

As Tobias remained silent, she continued.

“That's why I can't believe you. I just… can't stand people who use other people. And it's worse if you used my friend.”

“You're right,” it was the only thing he could say.

“Do you have any idea what is like living under the shadow of Harper Emery?” Now that she had opened her mouth, she couldn't stop. “Aurora has struggled her whole life with that, and transfer to Mass Kenmore was the opportunity to escape that. She deserves the spotlight, that people value her for her work, for her brilliance, and not for her family name. But it turned out, it wasn't because you believed she was good. You actually didn't give a fuck about her as long as you get what you wanted.”

Tobias gave her a pained look, “Aurora is a brilliant doctor, an outstanding resident. It didn't take her long to become the best resident in Mass Ken, and I know she'll achieve great things after finishing her residency.”

“But you found out that after. You only saw her as your mean to get Harper. And that's wrong. I'm sorry, but I can't act like this never happened. You used my friend, you made her doubt about her worth. I can't forget that.”

“You're right, Eleanor. But she should've never found out...”

“That's not the point! Or it is, actually. You did it knowing it was wrong. It doesn't matter if she finds out or not. You used a person and that was wrong. And if you're really trying to grow up from that 'blatant competitive' attitude, the first thing you should stop doing is using people.”

Tobias averted her eyes for a few moments, processing her words, concealing the shame.

He never thought their conversation would turn out like this.

“Well, what can I say? You're right in feeling that way about me, Eleanor, so I won't try to change your mind when it's clear that the wrong is on me. ”

“I've been very tempted to like you, but I can't like the person who hurt my friend. Hypocrisy doesn't work for me.”

Tobias shook his head, amazed, “You're something else, Eleanor. I wish I was lucky enough to have a friend like you, firm in your values and loyal.”

"You were lucky enough to have it, Tobias, but you betrayed him. Ethan is a loyal friend, and true to his values to a fault. And probably you know that better than me."

Tobias gave her a sad smile. Eleanor could swear there was melancholy in his eyes.

“Thank you for your honesty, Eleanor. I really appreciate that. I'm gonna learn a lot with you.”

Eleanor blushed, incredulous. He was being sincere or he was just schmoozing?

Only time would tell.

*

The cafeteria was quiet at that time of the night. Perfect place to study. Bryce had been interrogating Eleanor for the past thirty minutes in his interest to help her study for the boards, making knowledge questions as well as practical cases he had found on the web.

"Okay, we have this 2-year-old boy, his mother found him unconscious…" He started reading on Eleanor's tablet, but suddenly stopped as he saw Aurora approaching their table, "Hey Aurora! Coming to join the midnight study session?"

“No, thanks, Bryce,” Aurora replied, giving him a tiny smile, “Would you mind…? I need to speak to Eleanor. ”

Bryce looked from Eleanor to Aurora for a second and then nodded, “Oh, sure! She's all yours. Well, to speak to her she's all yours, we all know she's mine.”

“Oh my god, Goldie, just go!” Eleanor giggled, tilting her head as Bryce was leaning to kiss her.

“Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“I will, thank you, love.”

Once Bryce was out of sight, Eleanor turned to face Aurora, who was sitting across her with a serious expression on her face, “You wanted to talk?”

“Yes.”

Aurora sighed, and after several seconds of silence, she finally spoke, “Tobias talked to me yesterday.”

Oh fuck.

Eleanor never thought Tobias would speak to Aurora about what happened in Grace's apartment, several days ago now.

“Okay…”

“He apologized for what happened with Aunt Harper. For hiring me knowing I was her niece. He was also sorry I had found out.”

Eleanor nodded, feeling a pang of fear inside her.

“At first, I was so mad at you, Eleanor. So mad. Because you had no right to tell Tobias how I felt. That I knew the truth. It was something deeply personal.”

“I know, I know, and I'm… ”

“Let me finish, Eleanor.”

Eleanor, completely pale, shut her mouth and made a gesture with her hand as if she was fastening her mouth like a zipper.

“I was mad because I would never recognize in front of him how bad it hurt me his… scheme. That's why I never confronted in the first place.”

Aurora looked down at her hands, as if she was focusing on reliving those feelings.

Eleanor was rigid and terrified. She had betrayed her trust and who knew how much time it would take her to be forgiven for that, considering the story they had.

"But after a while I realized … I never knew how much I needed an apology until it happened."

Eleanor looked at Aurora, agape.

"Tobias told me he would've never realized how wrong was that if you hadn't told him. And when he thought about the pain he might have caused, he regretted doing it. He was sorry he made me believe I was just Harper Emery's niece when I'm much more than that."

Eleanor shook her head, regret washing over her features.

“Aurora I'm truly sorry for what I did. I knew at that moment it wasn't my business to tell him what had happened, but I couldn't act like everything was fine with him. He needed to face what was wrong, but it wasn't my call, it was yours.”

“Yeah, but I would've never taken it, and you knew it. I would've never done it because I thought the only thing I needed was to get over it, and forgive myself for stupidly falling for his lie.”

Aurora bit her lip before giving Eleanor a humorless smile, “But it turns out I shouldn't be blaming myself for something I didn't do. He was the one who used me, it was his fault, not mine. So when he apologized, I realized that. And that would've happened if you hadn't intervened.”

“Aurora…”

“I've spent my whole life blaming myself for trusting people who used me, but I've never been the problem. They are. People have never cared. Never cared to sincerely befriend me and never cared to apologize when they used me. So when Tobias apologized… it felt so good, because it let me stop blaming myself for that. It's not my fault.”

“Of course not, Aurora. It's their fault. It's their fault not being able to see the amazing person you are, the brilliant doctor you are, and all the incredible things you can do and give. So fuck them. ”

Aurora chuckled, "Fuck them. Except for Tobias. He looked really sorry for what he did so maybe there's a chance for him in the end."

“Yeah. He's not that bad. But I couldn't let myself like him when he had been an ass with you. ”

“Thank you for calling him out, and for defending me. Though I beg you to please don't this again. At least talk to me before going in the whole protective mode, okay?”

Eleanor took Aurora's hands in hers, and gave her the first genuine smile of the night, bright and wide, “I promise.”

“Good, now let's call Bryce to resume your study session with a little friendly competition.”

“Oh? Competing against Aurora Emery again? You're on!”

_____

Thank you so much for reading!!!

[sincerelymarinette]

A Recorded Life Sequel (9/10) - Miraculous Ladybug

Words: 1174 Summary: What people have been waiting years for...Emilie's Fashion House rebrand and fashion show! Author's Note: Ahhh I really love this one. It's very description-heavy because I wanted to focus on what went on in their heads. Next chapter is the last one and I'm so excited but I can't believe it's coming to an official end ahhh

Prev / Next / Masterlist

Emilie's Fashion Show

---

Marinette held a clipboard in her hand as she walked around the venue approving many different things. She was checking reserved seats, different types of lighting, and making sure all the pieces of the new Emilie's collections were all together and organized backstage. Sooner than later, models would arrive to get their outfits and hair and makeup, and there was still much to prep for.

Adrien would be heading to the venue soon; he had some last-minute things to take care of at the office. He had to approve final designs of displays that would be in stores and approve how tags would look on clothing. Usually, he would have the tags ready weeks ago, but he had a few concerns that needed to be changed, which caused the tags to come back late from design. Though he knew these approvals were a bit late, he wasn't planning on them being this late, and now he wanted to get them done before the show.

As Marinette was running around, people were starting to arrive. Alya showed up and surprised Marinette with a big hug, and Marinette was relieved to see her. Alya was writing a report on it, so long as she could be unbiased, which she promised. Nino showed with Alya, since he was going to be running the music for them.

Alya was also helping record the show. Though there were cameras set up around the venue to capture different angles, Alya wanted to record something more vlog-type for Marinette to use on her YouTube channel. Since this is her first official led fashion show, Alya knew it was important to both Marinette and her fans.

Time flew as Marinette went from person to person, preparing for everything. She checked on different models, said hi to Adrien, made sure everyone found their seat okay, realized Adrien actually made it to the venue, and even said hello to the camera for a quick second. Finally, as the lights went down and Marinette stood watching from backstage as Adrien introduced the show, she finally allowed herself to take a minute to breathe.

"Thank you all for coming!" Adrien said into the microphone as the attendees applauded. She knew she would have to caption the French on her video, but that was the least of her worries right now. "We are so excited to share with you the new age of our fashion company. We are no longer Gabriel, no longer Agreste Fashion; we are Emilie's!" Adrien said, his excitement showing clear. "And tonight, I welcome you to take in the beauty of our new collections. Headed by Marinette Dupain-Cheng, many new items and some old redesigned to fit our new mission. Enjoy the show!"

As Adrien walked back up the runway, the first model headed out. Marinette was watching carefully from the wings to make sure everything was running smoothly. The woman in charge of the timing was helping models out of the wings, and as models came back, they were getting changed into their next outfit.

It's been years of waiting for this moment. So many things led to this: Adrien graduating, Marinette joining and working her way up, the rebrand, making new things completely from scratch. But seeing all the hard work walking the runway made it all worth it, and it would be even more worth it when these items will be in stores. Different styles, budgets, collections: there was something for everyone from these new collections for the new fashion house. They wanted to make sure they covered as much as they could, and it was paying off now.

---

"You know I will be the first one to buy one of those jumpsuits. It would work perfectly in my office," Chloé told Marinette after the show. "And thank you for taking my suggestion of some yellow. It will be amazing! Let me know if you need someone to model it for a magazine," She winked.

Marinette chuckled. "You know, that might be a good idea down the line! We already have one booked for the new line, but when we need some more celebrity placement, you'll be the first person I call," Marinette said.

Chloé shook her head. "Good. Like you need celebrity placement, though."

"It's my excuse to get you in one of our books, so let's just go with it," Marinette joked.

A few people came up to congratulate Marinette and Adrien after the show and complimented their hard work. Other fashion house leaders were excited for them, even if they are meant to be competitors. It's no secret Adrien and Marinette have worked for this for years, and it seemed most people were happy to see it finally come true.

Jagged Stone and Penny were very loud with their excitement (mostly Jagged, though) as they were ready to support every piece from every collection. Many of Marinette's friends from her teenage years and University years also attended the show, as they have always supported her, and they also stopped by to give her a hug and a big smile. Adrien had the same friends from his teenage years, less from University, but he was just happy watching Marinette with the biggest smile he's seen from her in years.

In the back of his mind, Adrien wondered if his dad was able to watch the live stream of the show. He knew his dad would not like what they were doing with the company, changing it all, but Adrien wished his father could see how great he was doing. He was happy, in love, and running the company in honor of his mother.

Gabriel did see it, after requesting to watch the live stream, and it was granted. He mainly watched it to see if the kids would fail, and he wasn't sure if he should have been happy or mad that they didn't. He didn't like what Adrien was doing with the rebrand, but he was aware it could have been worse. Every day he was behind bars, he thought about all the other ways his plan could have and should have gone, and how he would have done it if he got the chance over again. What hurt most was that he knew Adrien didn't care; it had been years since he had come to visit Gabriel. One day he'd get his chance to change things, but he didn't have a plan for that yet.

Once they got cleaned up, it was very late, and Marinette and Adrien both went home with smiles still on their faces. The live stream was saved, and Marinette was excited to edit together all the other angles for an official video. The show was trending online, and all the comments talked about how many years they have been waiting for this, and that Marinette and Adrien deserve it all.

And soon enough, all the collections would be in stores, and the clothing would be worn by all ages and all around the world. The two went to bed the happiest they have ever been, and they couldn't wait for the coming weeks.

---

@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10 @coccinellegirl @kat-thatoneweirdo @strawberryblondish @snow-swordswoman @lilgaga98 @evufries @toodaloo-kangaroo

[cinematicnomad]

1, 7, 25 for the fanfic end of year ask :)

001. favorite fic you wrote this year i have a soft spot for take my hand (take my everything) which was the first fic i wrote this year! and kind of the first step back into writing creatively on something new that wasn’t the 7 year monster sterek fic. also my first foray into 9-1-1 fic and was just a lot of fun! 

007. longest completed fic you wrote this year the longest fic i wrote was my second for the year! so show me (family) wound up being around 16k+ for 9-1-1 which kind of burst out of me over the course of one 48 hour window unlike take my hand which took a few weeks to crank out. 

025. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read SO MANY FICS DUDE!!! i’m gonna rec a couple, some that i re-read this year and some that i discovered for the first time, all from a variety of fandoms. BUT heads up, you didn’t specify a fandom so it’s gonna be a little scattered. also someone else sent me this same question but specified 9-1-1, so i’m gonna reserve those recs for that ask. GET READY!!

and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets (7/7 | 84k+ | M) destiel; AU: college/university; john winchester’s A+ parenting; angst with a happy ending

only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet jack allen is just kansas mechanic dean winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen.

until, that is, a string of coincidences leads dean to auditing a poetry course with one dr. castiel novak. the professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia’s foremost expert on the poetry of jack allen.

note: i discovered this fic back in the pre-pandemic times of feb 2020 and i’ve read this fic TWICE since, leaving a lengthy comment each time. the poetry in the fic itself is stunningly gorgeous and i have a habit of reading it out loud to myself while reading bc it begs to be heard. this fic is seriously beautiful and makes me want to read all the poet!dean au’s out there in the world. unfortunately there aren’t that many so i just keep coming back to this well. i don’t think i can express enough how much i love this fic. 

lost time by ARCurren (105/105 | 350k+ | T)  bransonxsybil; AU: canon divergent; outsider POVs; original characters; slow burn

the story of a free spirit who was asked to give up the man she loved for a system she didn’t believe in and what happened next. AU after 3.04. 

note: did i think, when i stumbled across this fic years ago, that it would wind up being one of my all time favorites that i return to time and again to re-read? never. did i re-read it for like the dozenth time this year?? 110%. this fic is everything i want from fanfiction—it’s beautifully written, expands on canon, and shows me all the hidden moments the cameras never did (not to mention it’s historically accurate and delves deep into irish politics of the time). the first third or so of this fic is all about tom and sybil’s slow burn romance at downton, but the fic really bursts into its own when we follow the two to dublin and get introduced to all of the author’s deliciously detailed oc’s. heads up warning: this fic was never officially completed, though the final chapter is a beautifully written summary of the final arc of the fic. even so, it’s fucking worth it. 

misfire by mothlights & unpossible (6/6 | 28k+ | T) sterek; time travel; angst with a happy ending; alive hale family; magic; alternating POV

“the debt must be repaid,” she says, and it has the weight of a vow. the words resonate through him, ringing through his ribcage and the bones of his jaw, and stiles loses his breath and maybe his grip on reality because she draws herself upright and where there had once stood a supermodel-level MILK now there is galadriel’s much hotter older sister, a presence of unmistakable power in their ordinary, smells-vaguely-of-thai-takeout hallway. 

“oh shit,” stiles says. 

note: this fic is the first in the misfire ‘verse and i need you to understand that it literally broke me when i binge read these fics a month or so ago. i am a sucker for a solid time travel fic especially bc there are such few good ones in fandom. but this gets at the heart of it all by exploring the idea of stiles getting the chance to save derek’s family and taking it...after he and derek are romantically together in his true timeline and then actually dealing with the ramifications of how that alters everything and how stiles survives in this new present where he and derek are virtual strangers. everyone should definitely read this, but you should also know that i fucking sobbed while reading the sequel (which also has a happy ending, but really digs deep into the nitty gritty angst of the repercussions). 

map of the world by seperis (11/11 | 154k+ | M)  destiel; end!verse; alternate universe; canon divergent; original characters; slow burn

the world’s already over and they’re already dead. all they’re doing now is marking time until the end. 

note: look, if you don’t know about down to agincourt by @seperis, what are you doing with your life?? the series is over 1M+ words so far, the fic author is on book 4 out of a planned 8, and it’s fucking phenomenal. i know i’ve tagged a couple of these recs as slow burn but...this is the slowest slow burn to ever burn. canon!dean travels back into the end!verse timeline just as lucifer kills dean and somehow cas made it out alive and has to keep dean safe while he learns to become his end!verse counterpoint. the world building in this series is intense and i cannot recommend it enough. i’m still in the midst of my re-read bc it’s SUCH an endeavor but i highly recommend it to everybody. 

invictus by ellanasan (116/116 | 355+ | M) hayffie; au: alive abernathy family; pre-hunger games; canon prostitution; slow burn

“so then, before i can even think about doing something stupid like trying to stab him with his fucking golden paperknife, he gives me a choice, see?” haymitch continued, almost detached. “either i play nice like all the other victors or he’ll kill my family. i could either become his puppet—greatest punishment he could give me, according to him—or i could become the example.”

AU in which haymitch’s family lives.

note: hello, have you ever wondered what the hunger games series would be like if haymitch’s family were alive? i fucking hadn’t until 2 years ago when i stumbled across this fic and fell head over heels in love with this ship. @ellanainthetardis is my go to hunger games fic writer for anything exploring canon and i’m obsessed with anything she writes about the OG victors pre-canon (finnick, joanna, chaff, etc). this fic is just 300k+ exploring that world and all the intricate details of how cruel the games could really be. HIGHLY recommend. i definitely re-read it this fall when i needed a pick me up.

don’t know what i’m supposed to do (haunted by the ghost of you) by crazyassmurdererwall (1/1 | 30k+ | T) sterek; canon divergent; angst with a happy ending; ghosts; stiles POV

stiles sees dead people. yep. seriously.

(he’s got this. he’s totally got this. so what if one of them is derek’s mom?)

note: did you know that @crazyassmurdererwall is one of my all time favorite people? and that she’s wicked talented? and that in our spare time she’ll send me a billion fic ideas that are amazing and i get to hear all the intricate details of her plot bunnies? but i digress. this fic is one of my all time fave sterek fics i’ve re-read it sooo many times. there’s just something about the heartache and stiles’ insecurity and the way he tries to shoulder it all on his own. and then there’s alli’s brilliant writing, the way she weaves through a scene and paints a picture just so and manages to tug at your heart strings with her precise word choice. there’s some amazing world building in this fic as it explores this other facet of the supernatural that canon teen wolf never touched upon, and i’m so grateful for that bc alli is the only one who should be allowed to write about ghosts and teen wolf together. 

lagavulin and guinness by snarfle (10/10 | 163k+ | explicit) hartwin; slow burn; PTSD; suicidal thoughts; graphic depictions of violence; domestic abuse

plenty of people had looked down on eggsy throughout his life. he had gotten fairly used to it. didn’t mean it was fair, but he knew how these things worked. what really sucked was that the new arthur was worse than the old one.

“eggsy grimaced. he didn’t know how to explain to harry—who seemed like he hadn’t been discriminated against a day in his life—that the new arthur kept giving him what amounted to suicide missions, and that he was currently bleeding out in a warehouse because of the deliberately bad intel she had given him.”

also featuring: dean is harder to get rid of than eggsy thought, his mum is going off the deep end, there are way too many nefarious plots in play, and eggsy is really beginning to wish that harry would stop holding his hand and kiss him instead.

note: look, i know i recced this literally less than a week ago but i ALSO stayed up til 5AM re-reading this last night and it was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. i was on a bit of a kingsman kick earlier this year, so i’ve actually re-read this fic TWICE so far in 2020. i will give you a serious warning in that this fic delves deep into domestic abuse through the lens of a variety of different relationships. it also explores the potential for abuse in hartwin, bc this fic is one of the few that actually commits to the fact that they’re literal spies who murder people. actively. a lot. but seriously, this fic is one of my fave in the fandom and i STRONGLY recommend it. 

waste of breath by bryrosea (1/1 | 22k+ | M) loganxveronica; canon compliant; missing scenes; navy; past child abuse

logan echolls, the nine years, and the navy.

note: bryrosea has an obscene number of amazing logan and veronica fics (her canon divergent series stay with me is another i re-read this year), but i’ve found myself returning to this fic a lot over the years. i’m a sucker for canon compliant fics that explore the missing scenes in between canon and this fic hits all the right buttons by diving deep into how logan echolls went from being a trash fire at hearst college at the end of s3 to being a decorated navy pilot by the movie. it explores logan seeking out therapy and making a life for himself that he can be proud of, all while pining after the girl who got away. and bc this author is amazing, she followed it up with a sequel from veronica’s point of view in the series done by only me. 

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog (8/8 | 60k+ | M) destiel; POV castiel; pre-canon; post-canon; canon compliant; immortality; reincarnation

“and what’s the point of it?”

“of love? there isn’t one. loving is its own purpose.” 

note: i mean??? i don’t really know what to say except that this is one of the truly most beautiful fics i have ever read. it follows castiel through time as he meets different reincarnations of sam and dean across history and falls ever more deeply in love. it is achingly tender and so ecstatically written that i die just thinking about it. and that summary? i mean. holy fuck break my heart why don’t you? i don’t know how i missed out on this fic for so long since it was published in 2015 but i only learned about it for the first time back in july and it was. life changing?? when the fic finally reaches the canon timeline and he meets THIS dean it’s peak yearning. 10/10 will read again.

ahead in the count by elisela (17/17 | 50k+ | E) sterek; AU: sports; pitcher!stiles; teacher!derek; long distance relationship; getting together

“yankee fan,” derek says, laughing when stiles makes a disgusted face. “the bronx bombers, stiles, you can’t be a new yorker and—”

“stop talking right now,” stiles sighs, shaking his head. “i can’t believe i still want to kiss you after that,” he says, pulling derek in by his coat. “this is making me rethink everything.” 

“i’ll never watch them again,” derek promises, and stiles laughs against his mouth. 

or: stiles is a starting pitcher for the NY mets when he meets and falls in love with derek. derek doesn’t know. 

note: i read SO MANY of @elisela’s 911 fics this summer, which i loved, and then she got into teen wolf and started writing sterek and i just about died. this fic is amazing, one of my fave sterek AU���s that i’ve read in years. it’s just the right amount of drama and angst and fluff filled with all the joys of miscommunication and character relationships that makes reading sterek such a joy. reading this fic and finding out eli needed fic recs pushed me to dive back in to reading sterek fics for a bit this fall so i can say with the utmost authority that this is one of the best i’ve read in a long time. 

i used to think one day we’d tell the story of us by notequitegucci (2/2 | 32k+ | M) gendrya; alternate universe—modern setting; outsider POV; friends to lovers; friends to lovers

9 times a stark encounters gendry + 1 time he meets the starks.

note: again, this is the first in a 2 part series titled love me like you do that explores arya and gendry’s dynamics together through the point of view of her family. game of thrones ended last year with a whimper but i keep returning to the gendrya tag on ao3 to seek out new, amazing content and also to re-read some old favorites. i can’t remember if i came across this for the first time last year or this one, but i’ve read it and re-read it more times than i can count since and i love it more than i can describe. i’m a total sucker for outsider POV fics and my biggest pet peeve in canon is the fact that none of the stark’s ever found out that arya and gendry had a history together. this modern au fic almost makes up for it by giving me a gendry encounter with every family member and then the big reveal. it’s peak content. 

theeeeeeese recs got a little away from me. i wasn’t originally intending on adding lengthy notes to each entry but ... oh well!! these are all amazing so please enjoy. 

fanfic end of the year asks

[mickmarstookmyheart]

Family Tour

Trust Universe!

Pairing: Mick Mars X Reader

Summary: The whole Crüe family goes on tour along with Guns N Roses. (Y/N) has been hiding some secret and is about to explode.

"Babe, have you already packed the medicines in the bag?" Mick yelled from the bedroom.

"Yeah, it's in the side of the green one!" You yelled back from the kitchen.

"Mommy, when can I already eat?" Zoe asked sitting on the counter. She was licking the remaining chocolate from the bowl. She had chocolate all over her face but she didn't notice it.

"Hey, don't waste chocolate!" You said cleaning her cheeks and mouth with a wet towel. "Anyway, do you want to bring some cake for Neil and Elizabeth, too?"

"Yes, I will show them how good I can bake!" Zoe had a proud smile on her little face.

"Hmmm. What smells so good?" Mick asked approaching you and your daughter. He leaned on the counter with his back beside Zoe.

"Chocolate cake!" She yelled putting her hands in the air.

"Really? I love chocolate cake." Mick said. You smirked and looked in the oven to check it.

"Okay, it still needs some time so we can go back and finish packing some clothes for the tour if you want." You said while trying to take down your apron. Mick turned you around and helped you untie the knot. When he was ready he pressed a soft kiss on your shoulder.

"Ewww," Zoe said covering her eyes with her hands. Mick chuckled and you couldn't help but smile, too.

∆

"Neil, look!" Elizabeth yelled to his brother on the swing when you and Zoe arrived at the playground. When you let her hand go she ran to her friends while you took a seat beside Vince on the bench.

"How many times has Mick already complaint that he doesn't want to go on tour?" He asked smirking.

"Umm, one complain per hour normally. If he feels bad, two or three."

"That's quite good."

"Could be worse." You laughed.

"Mommy, mommy, can we have that cake?" Zoe asked running towards you and Vince along with Elizabeth and Neil.

"What kind of cake?" Vince raised an eyebrow.

"Chocolate!" Zoe yelled rubbing her belly.

"Zoe did it by herself so if you don't like it I wouldn't say it out loud." You said opening the box and handing one slice for everyone. The children went back to their usual spot while you and Vince just watched them play and live their lives.

"Can I have one, too?" John asked standing right behind your bench making you jump.

"Man, you scared the shit out of me! You could at least cough before you speak, damn." Vince snapped turning back to the man and glaring at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." He held his hands up in defense.

"I think I should go." Vince standing up from the bench. "If you need anything, I will be nearby." He winked and left while John sat down beside you.

"She has grown so much." John sighed looking at his daughter with pure love in his eyes. That was the only thing that made you sure he wasn't a monster. He was capable of love.

"Yeah." You admitted smiling at Zoe who was fighting with a stick with Neil.

"Anyway, why did you wanted to meet? What can't wait until Saturday?" He asked turning to you. You bit down your lip, you knew he would be mad. To be honest, you would be, too. You hated him, though he was the father of your daughter so he needed to know about this.

"You know, their new album came out a few months ago..."

"I know about that. So what?"

"They need to promote it. And Doc and I have already planned a whole tour for the guys. And not just in the US but overseas, too." You played with the box of the cake. You looked at John, who still didn't understand what this affect him. 

"So this means, that I had to follow the band since I'm the co-manager."

"Got it. So that means Zoe will stay with me the whole time?" John asked with high hopes. You took a deep breath and shook your head. The smile from John's face disappeared. "No. No way you are taking her with you! She is barely 5 years old!" Vince lift his head and glanced at you. He put Neil down from his shoulders and headed towards you fearing John might be do something he shouldn't.

"I know. And I completely understand that. But I need her. I am her mother and the full custody is mine."

"You don't need to remind me, I'm aware of that." He growled but he didn't shout. Luckily, those treatments were successful in some way.

"Is there a problem?" Vinnie asked crossing his arms, looking at John then at you.

"There is. She wants to take away my daughter." He spit.

"But not for the long-term! Just a tour." You murmured realizing the tour will last at least six months.

"How long?" John was desperate. The only positive thing in his life was Zoe and he didn't want to lose her.

"Six months." You admitted fearing his reaction. "The USA, Canada, and some in Japan."

"Japan? What the hell?" He placed his head in his palms.

"Look, man..." Vinnie said fully knowing the situation. He didn't see his children for half a year either. "If you really want to see her you can anytime. (Y/N) didn't prohibit for you to see her, just told you the situation." Vince surprised you. He was never fond of John but treating him like this was a new thing.

"Really?" John had tears in his eyes. You felt a bit of sympathy for him.

"Yes. And I think I can arrange a backstage pass, too so you can meet her there until Doc and I take care of things."

"That would be great. Thank you. And don't worry, I won't be present on the whole just once a week or less." John smiled.

"Luckily," Vince said making you chuckle.

∆

Now that you discussed everything with John, you didn't have to worry about him. Though, there were a few things that bothered you. First of all, Nikki and his new girlfriend, Vanity. You met her a few times during these get-togethers but you didn't like her face and her attitude. Not to mention the drugs. Nikki already had some problems and, bringing it back to his life made you angry. You didn't want her to ruin his life and the tour also.

There were some positive things. Heather also came along with Tommy so you would have some company. You and she had many things in common and she adored your daughter. Beth hesitated to let Neil and Elizabeth go with him, but you made sure nothing bad will happen and that you will treat them as Zoe so finally she gave in. This way, Zoe wouldn't be alone either.

You were sitting in the living room already with your luggage and were waiting for the tour bus to come.

"They said they will come at 9." Mick murmured looking at the clock which showed 10:30.

"I know. And I will give them a piece of my mind." You said cuddling closer to Mick sitting on the couch. You barely slept at night so you were quite exhausted.

"Babe. Babe, (Y/N). The bus is here." Mick said softly. You didn't even realize you drifted into sleep. You rubbed your eyes and sat up from Mick's lap.

"Daddy, daddy, Uncle Tommy, and Nikki are here!" Zoe said running towards Mick. She took the guitarist's hand and pulled him up from the couch. "Let's go and say hi to them. This bus looks so big."

"Alright, let's greet them, angel."

When you became aware of your existence you started to gather all the luggage and bring them closer to the door. Mick had some problems with his back recently and you didn't want him to struggle.

"Hey, (Y/N)! Why didn't you come to the bus and say hello? You are rude." Tommy said when he entered the house.

"Can you just shut up and help me?" You snapped trying to lift one of the bags.

"Good morning, (Y/N). Sorry for being late. We just had some issues with the bus but we are here and everything is okay." Doc appeared, too, and took the bag from your shoulder.

"No problem and thank you." You looked into every room in the house to check if everything was okay before locking the door and giving one last look at the house. Mick stepped behind you and placed his hands on your waist.

"Are you ready?" He asked kissing your shoulder.

"Yeah."

∆

"I can't believe they still aren't ready!" You sighed waiting in front of Vince's house. It was arranged two hours earlier.

"At least the kids have fun," Mick said looking at Neil, Elizabeth, and Zoe playing around in the garden with Tommy and Nikki. They played hide and seek, and Tommy was the one who needed to find the others. Well, he didn't manage to. You can see everything from the bus and occasionally laughed when he failed.

"Finally!" Doc sighed when Vince and Sharise appeared. When they got on the bus Vinnie waved at you.

"Hey!" He smirked when he placed himself on the one remaining place next to you on the couch.

"Trouble in paradise?" Mick asked noticing Sharise's facial expression who went to the back of the bus without saying hello to you. You hoped she will leave the tour within a week.

"You know, you didn't have to waste time having sex when you will be together on the whole fucking tour!" You ranted.

"Woah, someone needs to get laid," Vince added smiling, earning a hit from Mick after you got up and gathered the children.

∆

The route to the hotel was a bit calmer than you thought. Zoe and Mick were sleeping on the couch next to each other which melted your heart seeing them like this. Tommy and Nikki with Heather and Sharise were talking about Tommy's spinning cage, Vince and Sharise were in the back.

"I don't think they will be happy about this interview. Are you sure about it?" You asked Doc when you were discussing things about the tour.

"They don't like interviews at all. So this will be no different."

"Maybe Whitesnake could do that interview, no?" You asked Doc. "Or Guns N Roses?"

"Why not all the three of them?"

"Cause World War III would break out." You said with an odd look.

"Alright. Then GNR will give the interview and the boys will decide if they want it or not." Doc offered which you agreed with totally. "Now, enough of work. What's up?" Doc asked putting aside his papers and leaning back on the seat.

"Well, not much, Doc. Life goes on. The boys have a lot of fans so I don't think we will have a problem."

"I was asking about you, (Y/N). Not the boys." Doc said tilting his head.

"What should I say? Zoe, Mick and I are okay, we have a pretty good and adventurous life. I love my family and I love my job."

"Good to hear." You somehow relieved that Doc didn't ask more. "But I see something is bothering you. What is it? Is it John?" Damn, this man.

"You can be as annoying as the band sometimes, you know that, right? Hell yes. I can't get that man out of my head." You said. Mick woke up a couple of minutes ago and he heard every word you changed with Doc. He smiled when you mentioned him and your life but the slight smile faded when John was in the picture again. He hated that man with his whole heart for hurting you like this. "I-I keep seeing this picture in my head that whenever I'm not around Zoe he somehow tries to steal her from me." You were rubbing your arm with your other hand to comfort yourself. That man gave you a headache whenever you met him and all the bad memories came up. You tried to avoid him as you could but it was still hard to be around him.

"I see. Well, I could arrange someone, a guard to keep an eye on her and I'm sure the others willingly help you monitor her. Everyone loves her and they wouldn't let anything bad to happen to her." He placed his hand on your thigh and squeezed it. "I and I think everyone admires you, especially Mick, to let that bastard see your daughter frequently. Not many mothers would let that."

"Thanks, Doc. It means me a lot."

Maybe you were just going crazy for thinking that. He wouldn't kidnap Zoe, would he? If he did that, he would go to jail for a very long time so he wouldn't be able to see his daughter.

"Anytime, kid. Now, go and rest a bit until this madness begins."

∆

When you arrived at the hotel you and Doc headed to the receptionist to discuss the details and got the keys.

"Alright, Everyone!" You yelled when no one listened to you. You were beside the bus and everybody was dealing with their luggage. "Hey, listen! I have already told you that certain people will bring up the baggage, damn. Tommy, put that down!" You threatened the drummer who immediately dropped the bag down. "Thanks. So Heather this is yours, and Vinnie room 10 is yours with Sharise. Nikki, your room is just beside Heather's..."

"Yeah, man!" Nikki high-fived with his Terror Twin. Maybe it wasn't the best idea. After you handed out the keys and everyone went inside Mick approached you. Zoe went along with Neil and Elizabeth to look around. He stood in front of you and cupped your face.

"You are doing great." He pecked your lips and pulled you in a hug. He was rubbing your back while you rested your chin on his shoulder. "You are the best co-manager we could get." You can't help but smile.

"I'm trying my best, but I'm afraid Tommy, Vince, and Nikki won't be so helpful." Mick chuckled.

"I will help you make them listen to you," Mick promised, taking your hand and walking in the hotel. It wasn't a five-star hotel but it was decent and nice. Decent until Mötley Crüe arrived. At the reception, you already apologized for the trouble so you hoped they will handle things easier.

"Mommy, look there are a playground and a pool, too." Zoe cheered. She ran to you and you picked her up and let her show you the mentioned places.

"Oh, wow. Now you can play as much as you want, honey."

"I want to play with you, mommy!" She hugged you tightly.

"I know, Zoe but there are a few other things I need to take care of. I need to give the keys to Axl, Slash, Steven, Duff, and Izzy, too. As I heard they have just arrived." You sighed seeing your daughter pouting.

"Alright, but be sure they will be around soon so I could play with Steven!" She said while you put down her.

"I promise." You places a soft kiss on her cheek and headed back to the entrance of the hotel. Mick hummed watching you go before taking Zoe's hand and letting her pull him closer to the playground.

When you arrived at the bus the band were already talking next to the bus. They were much quieter than the Crüe and immediately looked at you when you greeted them.

"Sorry, (Y/N) for being behind a bit. Steven had some problems with the journey and we had to stop a lot." Izzy apologized.

"We arrived not too long ago so no problem. And are you okay now, Steven?" You looked at the drummer who was still pale.

"Yeah. Well, better than before." Slash patter his back to lighten him up. "This isn't helping, Slash."

"You still have two days before the concerts so you can recover until then. There are many possibilities to leisure here, I have already looked around."

"It's quite a big hotel. What if I get lost?" Steven asked.

"Don't worry, Popcorn. We will keep an eye on you." Duff said with a smirk.

"Anyway, (Y/N), would you be so kind and give us a tour of the hotel?" Axl asked. You weren't used to this kind manner with the other band. Alright, sometimes they could be knights, too.

"Of course. Oh, and Zoe wanted to make sure that you will greet and play with her. She mentioned that she wants to play with you, Steven but don't worry I will tell her that you aren't feeling well." You winked and handed out the keys to their rooms.

"Steven!" Zoe rushed to the drummer but you stopped her before she could jump on him.

"Zoe, not so fast. He isn't too well so be gentle, alright? Don't play Slave and Queen with him. The Slave can be played by anyone else, except Mick and him." You smirked glancing at the band.

"Alright, then I will escort him into his room and take care of him." She took the drummer's hand and headed to Steven's room.

"I can wait until she will be 18," Axl said. You hit him in the arm glaring at him. "Just kidding. No need to kill me."

"You deserved it, man," Slash said making you laugh. Mick was watching you with a jealous look. You always looked so happy with them and rarely with the Crüe. He stood up from the bench and approached you.

"Hey, Mick." Duff greeted the guitarist.

"Hey, man." He muttered. Slash and Axl nodded to him as a greeting while Mick shook hands with Izzy. Izzy was the only one who he kinda liked. "Sorry guys, but I need to steal (Y/N)." You made a face not understanding his problem. After you said goodbye, Mick was literally dragging you towards the lift.

"What is wrong with you?" You asked freeing your arm from his grip. "Mick, why are you acting like this?"

"Not here." He could only say this. You huffed but stepped in the elevator next to him but tried to stand as far as possible. You didn't like him when he was this angry and overwhelming. You opened the door and happily saw your luggage has already been brought up.

"So, what is it?" You asked crossing your arms. Mick counted to ten not to say something he might regret.

"Why can't you just relax? And be with us? Zoe and me?"

"I'm sorry?"

"At the moment you heard the guys arrived you dropped down Zoe and rushed to them. Whereas they could wait a bit and I can't see why Doc couldn't greet them."

"Are you jealous or what? Cause I don't see your reason for that."

"What? No! I'm just angry that why aren't you honest with me. Why are you locking up things in yourself whereas I'm your husband, no?"

"I don't understand a word." Why can't he and Doc leave you alone and let you do your job?

"I heard your talk with Doc on the bus." He stepped closer and took your hand into his. "Why didn't you tell me that John is bothering you? I could've talked to him not to come or I don't know."

"You don't understand it. I can't reject him seeing his daughter. I don't have the right."

"But you have it, (Y/N)! You have the full custody for fuck's sake!" He was gripping your hand way too harsh now. "Why can't you let that person just disappear from your life? He hurt you so much and you still let him do that. I think we could discuss it with Zoe. She is so smart and I'm sure she would understand it." Mick said softly. He rested his forehead on yours while rubbing your arms. You felt the tears running down your cheek which Mick noticed and wiped them away with his thumb. You closed your eyes and took a shaky breath.

"I know. It's just so hard." You whimpered.

"But I'm here for you, (Y/N)! You are my wife and I would do anything for you. Even it includes killing."

"Mick!"

"Alrighty, no killing. But I support you in everything and you can tell me whatever is going on in your pretty head. Sometimes I wish I could just go back in time and do things from the beginning. From the very beginning."To be continued...

∆

Next Part

Tags: @leatherandheels @littlemisscare-all @karrotkate ❤️

[rene-writes-or-tries-to-write]

How to Break John Winchester’s Nose: A fangirl’s guide

This was on my main, but I’m moving it here. 

                           - 7:36 PM, May 14, 2020, Pocatello, Idaho -

The road was empty. Nothing moved. Not even a breeze stirred the trees. As she watched, a speck rounded the corner. She narrowed her eyes. That was her mark. Time to go.

 The girl was tired, angry, and cold. She had been walking for hours, headed north toward Chubbuck. She had no true destination, just the need to get away. “Go for a walk,” they said. She’d been on more walks in the past couple of months than she had for the past year. She was bored of walks, and just wanted to go home. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t have a home, not really. She was so lost in thought that she did not notice the wind pick up. Dead leaves, grass, and dandelion fluff whipped around her. It was only when a stick hit her arm that she looked up to see the vortex forming around her.

 “What the fu-” her words were cut off by a high pitched noise. A second later she was gone, and there was no trace that she had ever been there.

                             - 9:52 PM, June 3, 1996, Pocatello, Idaho –

John Winchester was headed out of town, eager to return to Sioux Falls to retrieve his boys. The day had been a long one, and he hadn’t had much incentive to sticking around town. The dark of the night settled around his truck, and he relaxed slightly in the driver’s seat. Plenty of open road awaited him, and the drive would take a couple of days, allowing him a couple of stops at bars, and the possibility of some company for a night. He put on some music and allowed his mind to wander.

 A half hour or so later, the ferocity of the wind brought him back. The wind was going crazy, seemingly forming a vortex. Immediately, all traces of relaxation disappeared from John Winchester. He slammed the brakes to avoid the funnel, grabbed his gun, and reached for the door.

 The wind stopped. Leaves and sticks fell to the ground. In the center of it all stood a girl, looking to be somewhere around the age of fifteen. She was wearing a leather jacket, jeans, and a t-shirt and scarf. She spun on her heel, absorbing her surroundings. She stopped when her eyes landed on the truck. John took this as his cue to exit said truck, gun hidden beneath his jacket.

 “Hey there,” he said, not wanting to startle her.

 “Hel-” she froze, getting her first good look at him. She sucked a breath in. John hesitated, weighing his next move. Before he came to a decision, a fist connected with his nose. He reeled back, cursing, and pressed a hand to his bleeding nose. Barely giving him a second to process the fact that the punch had been thrown with good technique and with a surprising amount of power, she followed it up with a sidekick. John dodged out of the way and fumbled for his gun. He had barely managed to pull it free when the side of the girl’s foot connected with it, sending the gun flying toward the side of the road. Her foot finished its arc, landing behind her in a fighting stance, only to spring off immediately to round kick him in the head. He blocked it and returned fire with a right hook, which she blocked. He followed the right hook with an uppercut, which she didn’t block. A rush of air left her. John didn’t give her time to recover, using the precious few seconds he had to grab the silver knife from his jacket and slash at her face. She responded quickly, but not quick enough, allowing the knife to slash across her arm. She grimaced at the cut, but didn’t display a worse reaction, which threw John for a loop. Given her mysterious appearance in the middle of the road, the way she had seemed to recognize him, and the immediate, well-coordinated attack, he had expected her to be, well, not human. Still, silver didn’t rule everything out.

 The girl, meanwhile, had retreated to John’s truck and was clutching her injured arm, hissing. She looked up at John warily, evidently expecting an attack. His next actions surprised both him and her. He strode over and held out his hand.

 “The name’s John Winchester. Can I get the name of the chick that just broke my nose?”

 The girl hesitated. She didn’t particularly trust John, but the mere fact that he existed… what harm could telling him her name do anyway?

 “Clara. I’d apologize for the broken nose but it’d be a lie.”

 “OK, Clara, you wanna let me take a look at that arm?”

 “You’re the one who cut it, why should I let you anywhere near it?”

 “I’ve got a med kit?”

 “….Fine.”

 John went around the truck to grab the med kit from the trunk, and also to avoid having the kid see the weapons in the back. A few minutes saw the kid’s arm cleaned and bandaged.

 “Well, I can’t leave you out here. Get in, I’ll take you home.”

 She snorted. “Home? Yeah, good luck with that.”

 “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 “Best to just show you,” she said, climbing into the truck, leaving John to get to the driver’s seat.

 “Where to?”

 “Hmmm? Oh, right,” she paused. “Pocatello, Idaho.”

 John simply nodded and drove, leaving the questioning for later.

                            - 11:38 PM, June 3, 1996, Pocatello, Idaho –

Clara had spent the last hour or so having her entire world turned on its head. She had been kidnapped by a cyclone (of all the clichés!), found by John Winchester, cut by John Winchester, treated by John Winchester, and driven by John Winchester. She’d broken his (John Winchester’s!) nose. She couldn’t stop running his name through her head on repeat, a fair reaction given that an hour ago the man had been a fictional character. She had no regrets about her initial reaction, as she felt wholeheartedly that the man deserved a broken nose, hell, she thought he deserved worse. He was a shitty father, not that great of a husband, and a terrible person in general. She did have some lingering doubts about letting him drive her anywhere. In the end, she figured, she could explain some of the truth, seeing as she likely didn’t legally exist in this universe yet.

She played with the ends of her scarf, nervous about his reaction. A sudden thought hit her, and she immediately zipped up her jacket to hide the Supernatural t-shirt she had on underneath, and tried to subtly rearrange her scarf to hide the slightly modified anti-possession symbols on the ends and the large, all caps “WINCHESTER BROTHERS” on it. John took notice and cranked the heat up.

“Cold?”

“Not anymore. Could we get some tunes?”

John reached behind them and grabbed a cassette tape at random, sliding it in. Zep’s Immigrant Song hit them at full volume, and Clara smirked, thinking of Thor: Ragnorak. The smirk disappeared a second later, when she realized that the MCU had yet to be introduced, much less developed to the point of Ragnorak. She felt slightly faint.

“You okay there?” 

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Perfectly fine. A bit thirsty.”

John took the opportunity to hand her the holy water, a move she had anticipated. She took a sip.

“Tastes a bit odd. Is it from some well in the middle of nowhere?” She drank some more. 

John had been watching her reaction closely, and was a tad bit startled.

“N-No, just a motel.”

He handed her a generously salted sandwich. 

“Here, you must be hungry.”

She took a large bite of it, then paused.

“Thoo much thalt,” she stated, mouth full. Swallowing the mouthful, she continued, “not enough meat.”

 “You’re human,” John blurted, surprised.

 “Well yeah, what’d you expect, three rats in a trench?”

 John forced a laugh.

 “You never know. So, mind telling me why you broke my nose before you even finished sayin’ hello?”

 “Oh, that’s easy. I find myself on a lonely stretch of road in the dark, alone but for a large black truck and a big guy, who judging by his stance, is ex-military, Marine if I had to guess, who is tense, likely trigger happy, and armed, going off of the glint of metal from his belt and the lump in his jacket, so logically, I get him before he can get me. You wouldn’t have been the first guy to jump me, and I learned my lesson pretty quickly after the first two times.”

 John’s mouth was hanging open, something Clara found quite amusing. Her explanation, of course, wasn’t the truth. Well, not the whole truth anyhow. She had been jumped before, and it was distinctly not pleasant. She knew he was an ex-Marine, not from his stance, but from knowledge brought from a totally different universe, from what she could guess.

 “I-I wasn’t going to attack you!” he said defensively.

 “Sure. Better safe than sorry though.”

 As she said that, the black truck rumbled to a stop in front of a no-tell motel. John got out, then turned around and asked, “ya comin’ or what, kid?”

 Clara slid out of the truck, dropping to the ground.

 “Why, and I cannot emphasize this enough, the actual fuck is this thing so high up?”

 “To make you complain. Hurry up, it actually is cold out here.” With that, he turned on his heel and marched into the lobby.

 The poor kid at the desk was awoken by John Winchester’s fist pounding the desk. They got one room, two queens.

 The moment Clara’s head hit the pillows she was out. Or so John assumed. She watched through mostly shut eyes as he methodically checked and cleaned his gun, then salted above the door and the windows. He finally crashed an hour after she’d “gone to sleep”. She waited another half hour, then allowed the darkness to drag her away from the land of the living.

                            - 6:43 AM, June 4, 1996, Pocatello, Idaho –

John Winchester awoke to the smell of coffee and bagels, and the sounds of an unfamiliar person moving about his room. Keeping his eyes shut, he inched his hand under his pillow, reaching for the familiar weight of his gun.

 And found nothing.

 A voice cut through the slight panic in his mind.

 “Looking for this?”

 John opened his eyes to see a fifteen year old girl standing above him, holding his gun. The events of the previous night came rushing back. He sighed, rubbed his eyes, and sat up, reaching out a hand to take the gun back. She set it in his palm, reached behind herself, and presented a cup of coffee.

“No idea how you take it, but I figured you might need some if we were gonna get an early start.”

 “Two things: I take it with two creams, no sugar, and how’d you pay for this?”

 “Noted, and I borrowed some money from your wallet. Drink up, I got you a bagel, you can eat it on the way.”

 “…On the way to what exactly?”

 “To show you that I don’t exist yet, genius.”

 John had yet to drink the coffee, and thus did not really process her words or the fact that he was being bossed around by a teenaged girl.

 Twenty minutes saw John caffeinated, fed, and in the truck on the way to Clara’s high school to get at the student records. It was at this point that he remembered her nonsensical statement.

 “What the hell do you mean you don’t exist yet?”

 “Oh. Um. Right. So while I was out this morning, I grabbed the paper. The date’s the 4th of June, 1996.”

 “Yeah, and?”

 She sucked in a breath. “And I was born February 3, 2005.”

 Silence.

 “Come again?”

 “I was born Feb-”

 “No, I heard you. I just don’t see how that’s possible.”

 “Hey, I assume you saw that cyclone. It pulled me out of May 2020, on the road out of Pocatello.”

 “And you aren’t freaking out why, exactly?”

 “I watch a very weird tv show.”

 “So we’re going to your high school why?”

 “To show you I’m not on the records. But you’ll likely find Daddy Dearest on there.” The way she said “Daddy Dearest” was full of bitterness and loathing. John stored that away for later.

 “Right.”

 They spent the rest of the ride in silence. Upon arriving at the school, both of them slipped seamlessly into their roles. John, a tired single father, and Clara, his smart but shy daughter. The principal let them into her office, asking them a multitude of questions regarding their supposed move, Clara’s previous education, John’s job, their home situation, Clara’s fictional deceased mother. Fortunately for them, they both had plenty of experience lying on their toes. The moment the principal left to deal with a fight that Clara had set up on her way in by stealing one kid’s lunch and putting it in another kid’s bag, they were out of their seats, searching for the records. Clara started rifling through the drawers, while John seated himself in front of the computer. Four minutes later, John was clicking through student records and Clara was standing behind him.

 “No Claras in here.”

 “Probably because that’s a fake name. Try Rachel Fusson.”

 “No Rachels, but there are a whole slew of Fussons. Currently enrolled are Owen and Daniel.”

 “Owen’s the old man.”

 Footsteps told of the principal’s approach. John quickly exited the file and shut the computer down, while Clara scrambled to close all the cabinets. They both slid into their seats a moment before she opened the door and attempted to look innocent. The principal apologized for the interruption and continued her interrogation. It took them half an hour to escape her clutches.

                             - 8:36 AM, June 4, 1996, Pocatello, Idaho –

Clara had woken that morning drenched in a cold sweat. Upon realizing that there was no immediate danger, she had relaxed and turned to the clock. 4:22 AM. The fuck was she supposed to do at 4 AM? She glanced to her right and saw another occupied bed. John Winchester. Right. She was no longer in the middle of a global pandemic, nor was she anywhere close to her home universe. She wasn’t terribly upset about being pulled out of a world where she couldn’t hug her friends, or even really see them. She also wasn’t terribly upset about being yanked away from her relatives, seeing as they were fairly dedicated to beating her down in every way possible. They had belittled her, toyed with her emotions, and, depending on the “transgression”, beat her. She did, however, miss her friends, her pets, and her girlfriend. Fuck. What would they think had happened? A snore jolted her out of her thoughts.

 “Focus,” she hissed to herself.

 First order of business: coffee and food. She got up, putting 15 years of sneaking into use to grab John’s wallet, his gun, and her shoes. She slipped out the front door and went in search of a coffee shop. Half an hour of wandering brought her to a hole-in-the-wall run by a guy wearing more layers than a Winchester and sporting a mustache the size of Texas. She bought two cups of coffee, two bagels, and the paper. She grabbed a couple of cups cream and some sugar for John, and headed back to the motel. She’d downed half her coffee and most of her bagel (and made her bed) when he started inching his hand toward his pillow in search of his gun. She made her way over to him.

 Second order of business: get some food and coffee into John Winchester and then get him to the high school to show him the records and prove her case about being from 2020. She grinned at the panicked expression on the hunter’s face at finding no gun, holding up said gun and asking him if he was looking for it. Another half hour saw them safely arrived at the school, with John informed of her current predicament. Knowing they’d need a distraction, she put the shipper eyes to work, immediately spotting two boys with so much unresolved sexual tension between them that it’d turned to animosity from what she could see. She nabbed the taller one’s lunchbox, slipping it into the other one’s backpack. She hoped they’d get their heads out of their asses soon, but not soon enough to unravel her plan (everyone who said shipping was a waste of time and energy could suck it).

 After the principal left, Clara sprung for the drawers, having no idea how to work the old computer (John really wasn’t much better). She scanned through the files, seeing detention slips, complaints, and write-ups, but no records.

 “Hey.” John had found the records.

 Forty-five minutes later, they were back at the motel.

 “Okay, so lemme get this straight-” started John.

 Clara snorted. “Good luck with that.”

 John squinted, not getting it. He continued, “you were born in 2005, you came from the year 2020, and you can fight better than a lot of the “professionals” I know. Who the fuck are you, Clara? Or should I call you Rachel?”

 “Let’s stick with Clara. I’m just a kid from Pocatello. I can fight, because, like I said, I’ve been jumped before. Once was enough, so I learned to fight so next time I wouldn’t be helpless. Why are you taking the time travel thing so well? You didn’t freak out, just questioned the hows and whys.”

 “I’ve seen a lot of crazy shit, kid.” With that, he stood up and started packing the few things he’d unpacked the night before.

 Clara sat and watched him, having nothing of her own to pack.

 “Let’s go,” said John, moving out the door.

Chapter two here: X

[bobasheebaby]

107 The Good Place Prompts

Eleanor Shellstrop

1 “I just don't think the group thing is for me. I'm better when it's one-one-one and we're both looking at our phones and I don't know the other person and we don't talk.”

2 “The closest thing I could find to herbal tea was a root beer I had them throw in the microwave.”

3 “Whenever anyone tells me a story about their life I always imagine all the people as being super hot. Otherwise, I quickly lose interest. Do you not do that? You can do it for free.”

4 “I'm SO ready to learn, it's like my brain is HORNY!”

5 “What can you possibly say to us that will make up for your actions?” “Pobody's nerfect?”

6 “You don't seem like a ... super genius.”

7 “Ugh, of course your hugs are amazing.”

8 “Oh, so now I'm supposed to be nice and make friends and treat him:her with mutual respect?” “Yeah!” “That's exactly what he/she wants me to do, NAME, wake up!” “That's what everyone wants everyone to do.”

9 “Your friend sounds like he’s/she's one pickle short of a pickle party.”

10 “I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.” “Oh, come on. Everyone knows that's worse.”

11 “I know it sounds crazy, but if it weren’t crazy they wouldn’t call it a ‘leap of faith.’ They would call it a ‘sit … of ... doubting.’”

12 “Buzz off, Bambadjan.”

13 “Where is everyone?” “Who knows? Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting, 'cause it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it.”

14 “First of all, throwing sand is an excellent way to put out a vodka fire.” “Why would you even know that?!”

15 “No, NAME, I used to do that. Now I do selfless things without even thinking about it.”

16 “Why don't I ever listen to people when they talk about themselves? No, it's annoying, and I'm right not to.”

17 “Are you going to talk? Or just walk around like a nerd trying to get a personal best on his Fitbit?”

18 “I guess ‘try and enjoy this’ is a better plan than ‘have the anxiety sweats.’’

19 “I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two men my entire life, Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin.”

20 “Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.”

21 “You know I’m trying to say ash-hole instead of ash-hole, right?”

22 “It’s suddenly very important that I get drunk.”

23 “Well fork you, too.”

24 “Holy mother-forking shirtballs.”

25 “‘You’re not better than me’ was my yearbook quote.”

Tahani Al-Jamal

26 “You guys came to say goodbye because you're my friends.” “Well, I suppose some part of me possibly has a sense of casual kinship with you, much as one might be fond of a street cat.”

27 “I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.”

28 “NAME, you seem thoughtful. And that concerns me.”

29 “I, NAME, shall do my level best to make every event too much.”

30 “I just want to sit and stare at nothing, and silently scream for the rest of time.”

31 “I made a complete fool of myself tonight. I interrupted your big speech and badly stained my cargo pants, which, I have to admit, are quite comfortable. Oh, God, what’s happened to me? I’m praising off-the-rack separates!”

32 “Who else feels that NAME has ruined every moment of your existence since you arrived?”

33 “Right now I'm just a boy/girl, towering over a boy/girl, asking him/her to admit he/she loves me.”

34 “My whole life, whenever I encountered any obstacles, I would simply say, ‘I would like to speak to a manager.’ But in our relationship, there was no manager. There was no one who could fix this for me except me.”

Chidi Anagonye

35 “I’m just not a ‘new experience’ kind of guy. My comfort zone is basically like, that chair, and honestly? The arms are a little sharp.”

36 “Here’s an idea. What if we don’t worry about whatever comes next?”

37 “Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re gonna follow them.”

38 “If this isn’t a test, then it’s something way worse: A choice! That we have to make!”

39 “I am absolutely paralyzed by decision-making.”

40 “I’m going to ... start crying.”

41 “I am pretty good at turning every place I go into my personal hell.”

42 “You know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That’s the sound that my brain makes all the time.”

43 “Well, I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities: yes and no.”

44 “There's an old Chinese proverb... ‘Lies are like tigers. They are bad.’””That's it?” “I guess it's more poetic in Mandarin.”

45 “I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone."

46 “I am breaking up with you.” “Why?” “I can't ... It's complicated, but it's happening. Ya dumped!”

47 “I do have a stomachache. Why do I always have a stomachache?”

48 “You put the Peeps in the chili pot and eat them both up! You put the Peeps in the chili pot and add the M&Ms. You put the Peeps in the chili pot and it makes it taste bad.”

49 “Are you alright? You didn't sleep at all last night.” “I got a solid eight minutes. Not consecutively, but still. It's fine. You're not even that blurry.”

50 “We can be colleagues. Associates is pushing it. And by even having this conversation, you're becoming my confidante. I can't have that.”

51 “I am absolutely paralyzed by decision making and it is destroying my life.” “Yeah, I sort of got that when you couldn't choose a chair to sit on.” “Well, I didn't want to offend you in case you had a favorite.”

52 “This whole romantic situation is such a mess. I am vexed, NAME. Vexed.”

53 “I need to step outside ... for some air ... and I will not be back for many days.”

54 “I'm sorry, everyone, I just have some worries as well as some concerns that could potentially turn into outright fears. Ah, there they go, they're fears now.”

55 “When I'm really upset, concentrating on a table of contents helps me calm down. It's like a menu, but the food is words.”

56 “I have never been that certain about anything. I once even tried to rent socks. How did I say that that easily?”

57 “You broke the world. It's not a compliment!”

58 “This is fun. It's a fun party. There's no question about it, this is a fun ... situation. Hey! You guys are here! The fun continues, nay, increases!”

Michael

59 “If soulmates do exist, they’re not found. They’re made.”

60 “I’ll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe. Take it sleazy.”

61 “We have no plan. No one’s coming to save us. So ... I’m going to do it.”

62 “It’s a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow. Or like someone on the internet saying, You know what? You’ve convinced me I was wrong.”

63 “Lies are always more convincing when they’re closer to the truth.”

64 “Kissing is gross. You just mash your food holes together. It’s not for that.”

65 “Birth is a curse and existence is a prison.”

66 “Serious question: should we kill them?”

67 “Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One.”

68 (Holding a plush Minion) “I won this ugly yellow toddler, which is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

69 “Hello, everyone. Good to see you all here, mingling around with your various secrets. Who really knows which of you are who you say you are? No way to know unless I pull your skeletons out, right?"

70 “In the words of one of my actual friends: 'Ya basic'. It's a human insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now."

71 “Where's the H? This keyboard doesn't have an H.”

72 “Dick Tracy called back on his watch phone and said you better "watch" out!”

73 “I got to ride a bike. I put a coin in a thing and got a gumball. And then someone came up to me and said, ‘hot enough for ya?’, and you know what I said? I said, ‘tell me about it!’” “Well I am glad that you got to chew a gumball.” “Oh, damn. I didn't even think to chew it. Missed opportunity, shoot.”

74 “I saw this place that was at once a Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell! I mean, oh! The mind reels! A Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell!”

75 “And what's the significance of the keychain?” “Nothing, I just like frogs. I'm a frog guy.”

76 “I won't let you down.” “I think you will. I think this entire project of yours is stupid and doomed to fail.”

77 “You know the way you feel when you see a chimpanzee and a baby tiger who have become friends? That's how you're going to feel every day.”

78 “You humans have so many emotions. You only need two: anger and confusion!”

79 “It makes sense, right? They're good so they're stupid and trusting.”

Jason Mendoza

80 “I have no idea what’s going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too!”

81 “I can’t believe NAME betrayed us again, why is it always the ones you most expect?”

82 “I wasn’t a failed DJ. I was pre-successful.”

83 “Claustrophobic? Who would ever be afraid of Santa Clause?”

84 “If you’re a devil, how come you’re not wearing Prada?”

85 “I’m too young to die and too old to eat off the kids’ menu. What a stupid age I am.”

86 “Well, my year started about a year ago …”

87 “Dude! We can get mythical animals? Maybe I’ll get a penguin.” “Penguins are real.” “That’s the spirit, NAME. They’re real to me too.”

88 “When I say I'm meditating, I'm just trying to figure out what the fork is happening."

89 “You know, it doesn't matter if you know things. All that matters is what's in your heart."

90 “I'm ranking my favourite Fast and the Furious movies. You said you wanted to know who I am, and this is the best way to get to know me."

91 “He’s/She's my everything. He/She makes the bass drop in my heart.”

92 “Long story short, it was all a dream.”

Janet

93 “I think I might hate things now, too. So far, it’s genocide and leggings as pants.”

94 “NAME told me that instead of being sad, I should ‘go get it, girl.’ So I’m going to go get it, girl.” “Get what?” “Unclear. I’ll get everything, just to be safe.”

95 “In case you were wondering, I am, by definition, the best version of myself."

96 “Ooh, I've never had to walk before, this is fun! [Walks a few steps] Now I'm bored. Walking is dumb.”

97 “Oh, really? Is it an error to act unpredictably and behave in ways that run counter to how you were programmed to behave?”

Minor Miscellaneous Characters

98 “There is some good news. There’s some cake left!” – Neil from Accounting

99 “Well, I'm sure you're busy, you probably wouldn't want to talk to me. I get it, I wouldn't either. I'm as dull as a rock. Ugh, even that analogy was boring. I'm sorry, I'm so dull, and I'm ugly. I'm like a rock. Ugh, stupid Larry! Stop talking about rocks!” — Larry Hemsworth

100 “Oh, and you should smile more. You'll get bigger tips.” — Trevor

101 “Later days, dingus.” — Trevor

102 “Hold that thought. Is it OK if I go work out? I love working out. I gotta stay jacked. It's who I am.” — Chris Baker

103 “This is exhausting. I just want to go back to my container of goo and go to sleep.” — Shawn

104 “So, what's up, what's your deal? Are you single? What's going on?” — Trevor

105 “What up, ding dongs?” — Bad Janet

106 “Hello, imbeciles.” — Shawn

107 “So, we'll just roll on out, and you can get back to putting rainbows up your butt or whatever you do here.” — Trevor

[shurisneakers]

espresso [10]

Summary: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Warning:  mentions of past cheating, angst, alcohol

A/N: im back after 2 months lol hello to the 4 people who still read this this is my entry for  @viktordrago‘s writing challenge. everyone say thanks to @samingtonwilson for putting up with me and being the best

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous part- Part 9 || Espresso Masterlist

The world around you was dark when you stepped outside, shutting the door of your house behind you and pulling your jacket tight across your body in hopes of evading the chilling wind nipping at your cheeks.

It was the night before Christmas Eve– or as Bucky so poetically named it:  “Christmas Eve-Eve” – and you couldn’t help but be disappointed at the thought of your upcoming night. You dreaded having to spend time with someone who would inevitably serve as a way to pass time and nothing more. You almost felt bad that they were trying their hand at someone who was so out of the game before it had even begun– but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel sympathetic.

Bucky had chosen the most popular bar in your town as the venue– a bar which checked ID’s as a mere formality, a bored security employee glancing at the birthdate and shrugging to let in most people who simply “looked old enough.”

With scuffed wooden stables and pictures of frequent patrons, nearby teams, or people they were proud to have once served, the bar was never truly empty, it always had at least one or two groups drinking until they blacked out. And like always, the bar was filled with the warm sounds of people laughing, glasses clinking together in celebration and drunken karaoke with no musical accompaniment.

Your eyes quickly scanned the crowd, looking for someone who was possibly dressed for a date. And you found none.

Sighing, you quickly shot off a text to Bucky about the whereabouts of your supposed company for the night, Scott, shuffling from the doorway when the bell above the door jingled upon its opening.

Receiving an ineffective “He isn’t there yet?” in response, you sighed once more and stuffed your phone into your pocket, deciding that a stool at the bar counter was your best bet. After all, if your date wasn’t going to show up, then at least you could drown yourself with enough alcohol to have a good time alone.

“Y/N?” 

If you hadn’t committed that voice to memory for reasons you refused to acknowledge, you would have believed you were hallucinating.

Your jaw clenched, then relaxed. Fuckin’ Dolores. “Dot? What are you doing here?”

“Hey! What a coincidence!” she laughed, pulling you into a gentle hug as your body stiffened uncomfortably against the contact. She didn’t seem to notice. “I’m here to meet someone. What about you?”

“Date.”

“Really?” She tilted her head. “Wait– is this one of those dates Bucky’s setting you up on?”

You gave her a tight-lipped smile in return, eliciting a sigh and a shake of her head.

“God, he’s so fucking dense.” She rolled her eyes, her lips stretching into a fine line of what looked to be pity. You didn’t ask what she’d meant by it and only quirked an eyebrow. It’s not like you disagreed, per se.

“Well, hey, if your date’s running late, you’re more than welcome to hang out with me.”

“Um-“ You racked your brain for an excuse not to, but found none that’d be polite enough so you relented, repressing a scowl. “Sure?”

You followed her lead through the crowd, stopping at a set of stools placed before the counter. Motioning at an empty pair, she told you to sit and that she’d be right back once she found the friend she was meeting.

You obliged and slid onto one of the stools to face the door, the palm of your hand supporting your head. You could feel the onset of a headache which did nothing to make you feel better.

You were in a mood, obviously, and it was not one that screamed approachability. It irked you that every time you came close to even letting Bucky know what you wanted, the universe had other plans. And even with that anger and dissatisfaction, you would have rather spent time with him and Becca than at a bar, waiting for the last date of your stupid bet.

It was a while before you felt someone beside you and you didn’t bother to look up until there was obnoxious laughter, forcing you out of your reverie.

“Oh, this is my friend, Y/N,” Dot said as she got settled in her seat, nodding to the bartender you had yet to acknowledge, a grin on her face.

“Hey there.”

You laboriously lifted your head to answer his greeting, only to have your words die down in your suddenly dry throat.

“I’m Brock, but everyone just calls me Rumlow.”

You stared blankly at him, eyes too baffled to blink. It felt as if you were frozen. You could see the recognition in his eyes but he made no attempt to make that recognition known.

To say it hit you like a truck would be an understatement. You weren’t sure if your sight was deceiving you, but you hadn’t drank any alcohol yet nor had you ingested hallucinogenic mushrooms so it couldn’t be that.

Fuck.

“Is something wrong?” Dot interrupted your growing panic, bringing you back to the moment harshly.

He hadn’t moved, only jutted his hand further out in an attempt to give you a handshake.

“No,” you replied roughly, trying to look at him as coolly as you could– as if everything inside you was calm. “Nothing at all.”

“Have you met before?” Dot asked, intermittently glancing at the both of you.

You watched him silently, assessing his face to see what he would say.

“This would be the first time,” he said with a smile so casual, you almost missed the tiniest bit of uncertainty that flashed across his face.

“Oh, cool,” she shrugged. And even her shrug nearly had you jumping.

“Can I get you both anything?” He gestured behind him to the numerous bottles lining the shelves; some so old they had begun to collect dust.

“Just a beer. Y/N?”

You mutely shook your head, not taking your eyes off him.

“Bottle or pint?”

“Bottle,” she replies easily, smiling easily, breathing easily.

He nodded and left the two of you to get her a bottle.

“How, uh, how do you know him?” you cleared your throat, hoping to sound as inconspicuous as possible. She clearly had no idea about what was going on– and she thought Bucky was dense.

“We’ve known each other years. He was on the football team at Middleton. Met him when he came to our school for a game.”

“Ah.”

“Here you go,” Rumlow announced, placing an open glass bottle in front of her, returning his attention to you.

“Sure you don’t want anything?”

You shook your head again, dropping your gaze to the sticky counter instead.

He didn’t pursue it further, instead picking up a glass from under the counter.

“What’s going on with you nowadays, Dot?” he asked nonchalantly, gently wiping at the glass with a worn out towel.

You wanted to get out of here as soon as possible without raising suspicion, but your date hadn’t arrived and it hadn’t even been ten minutes since you sat down.

“Other than crying from constant stress and anxiety on a daily basis? Nothing much really,” she laughed, bringing the bottle to her lips.

“You both go to the same college?” he gestured between the two of you as if he didn’t already know.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him when his gaze lingered on you longer than you would have liked– so, at all.

He quickly returned to looking at her rather than you.

“Nah, we had a mutual friend who I met at a coffee shop recently and he introduced us. Actually,” she squinted. “You might know him. Bucky Barnes?”

You saw his jaw clench as he subtly raised his fingers to itch at his nose. It was still slightly disfigured from when it was last broken. You held yourself back from smirking smugly.

“Yeah, I know him. Barnes and I go way back,” his voice was venomous but his maintained composure overall.

Your knuckles were beginning to hurt with how hard your fists were clenched, almost like you were waiting for a moment when you would have to defend yourself.

“Hold on a second. You both-“ she straightened her back, putting her bottle down as she glanced between you both.

Your heart leapt to your throat.

Did she finally figure it out?

“You both used to go to the same school.” She furrowed her eyebrow as if she was trying to recollect a distant memory. “Yeah- Middleton, right? How haven’t you met each other before?”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I think I may have been a year or two ahead of you. Barnes and I were the same year,” he replied calmly before you could reply with what would probably have been an incoherent mess of sentences meshed together.

You leaned back, giving him a nod. “Yeah, that. What he said.”

“That makes sense.” She shrugged, letting go of the topic easily. She nudged your elbow gently, gaining your attention. “Any update on your date?”

“Uh-“ you quickly checked your phone, finding no texts or calls. “No. Don’t think it’s happening.”

“You waitin’ on a date?” Rumlow looked up from his distraction with sudden interest.

Raising an eyebrow, you simply replied, “Yes.”

“If he stands you up, he’s a dick,” Dot stated, raising her beer. “I fuckin’ hate it when people do that.”

“Wait, people have stood you up before?” he asked, putting down a glass and picking up another almost like clockwork, a teasing smile on his face. The scar above his near his eye crinkled when he did so.

You were there when he got that, some dumb fight his ego landed him in.

“More times than I would like.” She rolled her eyes, taking a large swig. “But it’s not the worst thing to happen on a date.”

“What could possibly be worse than not even being on one?”

“Lots of things, buddy. Bad dates are a whole other ballgame.”

You agreed silently, your experiences for the past few months speaking for themselves.

She continued, “What’s your worst date story, Rumlow?”

“Uh,” he paused before he laughed to himself. “If we’re not counting the stand-ups, middle school with this girl I liked before I realized she was the clingiest person I had ever met and tried to stick her tongue down my throat every five minutes.”

“Isn’t that exactly the way you are now? I see she later became your role model,” Dot tipped her bottle at him but he just rolled his eyes at her.

“Y/N.” Oh no. “Worst date story?” Fuck.

You had plenty of stories from the past few months, hell from even before that. But… there was no way you’d get this opportunity again.

“Got any good ones?”

Should you even dare to do that? Was it worth it? You didn’t even know how he would react. It was way too risky.

Oh, fuck it.

“High school, with this senior. I’d been dating him for almost two years and he asks me to come to a party as some excuse for a date,” you snorted a laugh. “That was a sign, like almost everything else he did, that our relationship wasn’t in a good place. So I thought, ‘Okay, we’ll get to talk things out.’”

You hear the sharp cling of Rumlow placing the glass back onto the countertop, but you ignored him, your smirk still very self-satisfied. You knew he knew where you were going with this.

You don’t take your eyes off him, watching the vein in his neck begin to strain against his skin. “I get there and all’s well until we start arguing about something stupid, don’t even remember what. You know how guys are.” Dot nodded with a roll of her eyes.

“And we just keep yelling about things that don’t even matter, about things that we’d pulled from thin air. Just, you know, anything to get a rise out of the other, really.”

You could see him swallowing but never breaking his composure.

You glanced at Dot. She was listening intently, chin resting on her palm. You took it as a sign to continue.

“Then it was just incoherent screams and then,“ you inhaled, forcing yourself to loosen your grip before your knuckles splintered, “he says he’d been cheating on me for about a year by then. Someone from another school so that no one we knew would see them together.”

Dot drew in a sharp intake of breath. “Shit.”

“That wasn’t even the worst part. He came from a pretty rough background and used to borrow cash off me often. I didn’t think much of it, because you know, it’s his own business, and I just wanted to help him out how ever I could.” You laughed humorlessly. “Turns out he was using that money to spend on the other girl he was with. Bought her cute stuff, took her out on dates on the days he stood me up, the works. It was pretty fucked up.”

“Jesus Christ.”

You could see him look at Dot after her reaction and you wondered if he was actually scared you’d tell her the truth.

“And then he broke up with me. I think he left her soon after that too because he lost his source of income.” You looked at him straight in the eye, never once blinking. You hoped he was squirming. “Fucked me up for a little while, especially since I saw him around the rest of his senior year until he finally graduated– which was unexpected given his academic record. Didn’t really bother with any kind of relationship after that.”

“That’s screwed up on so many levels. I’m sorry, dude,” she didn’t say anything further, and you didn’t really expect her to.

“Enough about me, though. What about you?” You put on a small smile.

“Nothing I’ve experienced could come close to that, buddy, I think you’ve outdone all of us,” she joked, laughing to herself.

“It isn’t a competition, you know.” You nudged at her. You deliberately were avoiding looking at him, noticing from the corner of your eye that he had stopped his cleaning and was instead leaning on the countertop. “C’mon, what’s your worst?”

“Honestly nothing too bad. Just a few incredibly lame dates, but other than that-“

“Hey, why don’t you tell Y/N here about the disaster of a relationship in your junior year?” he broke in loudly, gaining your attention.

“God, no, we agreed to never talk about that,” she playfully rolled her eyes at him but he looked adamant.

A smile spread across his cheeks, one that was almost sinister. He glanced at you silently, letting his gaze linger, leaving a unsettling feeling in your gut. Suddenly, you didn’t feel so great about what was about to happen.

“No, no, I’m sure she’d be very interested in hearing all about it.”

“Jesus, fine.” She chugged the rest of her beer, almost as if it was for courage. “Brock and I had this very brief-“

“It wasn’t brief,” he protested.

“Fine. He and I had a fling for a year in high school.”

“In my senior year.”

It felt like your blood ran cold.

“It was fun but then we agreed it didn’t work out because he was graduating.” She poked at his shoulder but he wasn’t paying any attention to her.

He was staring directly at you and for good reason.

“It was great. We hung out a lot, even though we weren’t in the same school. Almost felt like more than a year.”

“We were never ‘official.’” She used air quotation marks, obviously trying to downplay it. It clearly wasn’t something she liked talking about but he kept pushing it.

“But that didn’t stop us from doing a lot of things.” He smirked and she punched his arm.

Your mouth opened and closed like some kind of fucking fish but it felt like you couldn’t breathe. He cheated on you with Dot? With fucking Dot?

Was there anyone in your life not interested in her?

“It’s embarrassing and we agreed never to mention it again,” she said something after that but it was like you were tuning everything out to try and make sense of it on your own.

But it didn’t.

It didn’t make any sense. How did you miss this? Fuck, you never bothered finding out the girl’s name. You didn’t even know what she looked like or which grade she was in.

Idiot.

“I-I need to go,” you choked out, grabbing your phone and stuffing it into the pocket of your jacket haphazardly, fingers trembling. You couldn’t believe he had gotten under your skin again and you had just completely given him a chance to do so.

“So soon?” Rumlow asked, feigning surprise. You couldn’t even look him in the face but his amusement was glaringly obvious.

“Wait, did something happen?” Dot grabbed a hold of your shoulder and you nearly threw it off.

Don’t fucking touch me.

She looked taken aback but didn’t voice it. “Do you need me to drop you off somewhere?”

“No. No, I’m just gonna go.”

“Y/N-“

Get out, get out, get the fuck out of there.

“It was nice meeting you!” He called out from behind you.

Your head was reeling. You didn’t even turn around for a final look, just stumbled out of the bar into the deserted street.

After calling for an Uber that was only a minute or two away, you stumbled over your own feet to the car and asked the driver to step on it, praying that he wouldn’t try to make conversation with you.

Your fingers hovered above Bucky’s contact as you stared at his name. There’s no way he would have known. He wouldn’t have done this to you, would he?

“Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be on a date-“

“Did you know?”

“What?” On any other occasion it would be a relief to hear Bucky’s voice after another shitty date but now it just furthered your rage.

“Did you fucking know?”

The excitement he’d expressed in his voice when he’d first answered the call seemed to diminish and worry took its place as he replied, “Know what?”

“About Rumlow.”

He went silent. “What about him?”

“That he worked at the fucking bar you sent me to, James. Jesus Christ.” You rolled your eyes so hard you hoped it would somehow translate to his end.

“I- Y/N- what?”

“What about him and Dolores, huh?” Bucky had to have known about that. For Christ’s sake, their dumb sport of grown men chasing a ball would have allowed them to spend an absurd amount of time together.

“Wait, what does Dot have to do with any of this, I’m so-“

“You two were on the same goddamn football team Bucky, how could you have not known?” Your volume had risen exponentially and you ignored the questioning stare the driver gave you through the rearview mirror.

“You’re not making any sense here Y/N, I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about.” He almost sounded distressed and if you weren’t so riled up, you would have already stopped by now.

“He cheated on me with her,” Your stomach felt like it was being twisted into knots when you finally said it out loud. You sunk into your seat, quietening. “She’s the girl from the other school.”

He fell silent for a few moments once more. “I don’t understand.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” your voice cracked and you tightened your grip on your phone, pinching your thigh with your other hand.

Keep it together, damn it.

“Tell you? I didn’t even know-“

“Did you-” It felt fucked up to even think it but it felt like the irrationality hit you out of nowhere. “Did you set me up with this?”

“Wait, what-”

“Rumlow, Dot– this was too fucking coincidental.” You were justifying it more and more with every passing second, your mind spinning absurdities. “Was there even a date tonight or were you just fucking with me?”

“I… I can’t believe you just asked me that,” his voice was soft. “I would never, ever-“

“You never once hinted to me about her and…” you trailed off. “You’ve been hanging out with her months, James, don’t tell me you knew absolutely nothing about this.”

“Do you really think that I would hide something like that from you?”

“I don’t know anymore.”

“What does that even mean-“

“What about the past four dates, huh?” you interrupted again. “You claim to know me, yet every single one of these guys were people you knew I wouldn’t like. Was it all just one big fucking joke? Because if it was, this would be a perfect ending.”

“That was never my intention and you know it.“ You could tell that Bucky was struggling to keep his cool.

“I don’t know,” you admitted quietly. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

You could hear him exhale through the phone. “Wow.”

“Bucky-“ you hesitated, only to have him cut you off.

“That’s just… really unfair, you know? If you really believe I’d go out of my way to do something like this to you then I don’t think there’s anything I can say.”

“I guess there isn’t.”

Part 11

[bagledere]

Thank you for the tag @venueska ily 🥺 even tho tumblr says I’m not allowed to see notifs

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

My friends all get first name privileges otherwise I usually go by Bagel (or more recently John). I’m not opposed to pet names for close friends either. As long as I know ur talking to my odds are I’ll probably answer to it (;

2. when is your birthday?

January 16th!

3. where do you live?

A state of constant despair 😔 jk I’m from Colorado

4. three things you are doing right now?

Watching a game show, eating a graham cracker, and thinking about what we’re gonna have for dinner

5. four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

I rarely get into fandoms of my own volition, most of the time it’s because I have a friend or two hype something up and then I’ll get into it. Right now I’m dipping my toe in the A3 and Ikemen fandoms. I’ve been into the wayhaven chronicles for a little longer but I also like to lurk in fandoms as opposed to actively participating. I’m usually not into Kpop but I like mamamoo a lot.

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

Pretty well I’d say. I was struggling for awhile because I wasn’t used to the isolation but honestly, I’m at a point where I’m ready to move forward. I’m out of a toxic relationship, I have plans for creating a game in the future, I’m going off to college soon...I’m pretty excited to see what’s coming

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

Forgetting all about you by Phoebe Ryan! This song is generally how I’ve been handling my breakup minus all the drugs 😌. I thought I’d be sadder tbh but honestly? Lowkey having the time of my life

8. recommend a movie.

I mostly watch horror movies lol. the taking of Deborah Logan fucking haunts me so if you wanna be scarred for life by all means! I also recommend the autopsy of Jane Doe. It has one of the best atmospheres I’ve ever seen although the end was p anticlimactic

9. how old are you?

Less than a month from being 18 :D

10. school, university, occupation, other?

I’m about to graduate from high school and I’m also supposed to graduate with my associates from my local community college! This means I’ll be heading into my junior year when I go off to university

11. do you prefer hot or cold?

I prefer being cold generally. I do like hot food tho

12. name one fact others might not know about you

I can speak French!

13. are you shy?

Not really. I’m pretty reserved when first meeting someone new but that lasts for like two minutes tops lmao

14. your pronouns?

She/her or they/them!

15. biggest pet peeves?

Leaving seconds on the microwave, backseat drivers, people who can’t be honest, lowkey im annoyed by a lot lol

16. what is your favorite “dere” type?

I have a soft spot for tsunderes, as u can tell by my blog title

17. rate your life from 1-10

I’d say a solid 7/10. Could be better could be worse

18. what’s your main blog?

This one

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

No I’m too embarrassed ❤️

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

Hmm don’t think so! I’m nice I promise so never be afraid to say hello

I’m tagging @bellarxse @bubblelaureno and @richhdesire

[foggedgrief]

okay, hello, this is going to be a part one to a series of introductions ! i have already hit my five character cap because i’m a menace but that means you get more content and honestly that feels like a fair trade off. without my rambling, i give you nicky ( click here to find some quick facts about my boy ) and emi ( click here to find some quick facts about my girl ) ! wanted connections can be found here.

be warned ! before you click that handy dandy little read more, the following triggers will be discussed : death ( multiple deaths due to the fog, not explicit : both nicky and emi ), grief ( parent losing a child : emi ), religion ( turning away from : emi ) !

losing  friends  and  family  to  the  fog  and  blaming  yourself  for  not  being  more  vigilant,  taking  guardianship  of  your  little  sister  and  getting  a  second  job  to  make  sure  ends  meet,  trying  your  hardest  and  kicking  yourself  for  not  doing  better,  bloodied  knuckles  aggravated  by  vodka  to  clean  them  and  wrapped  so  tightly  you  fear  your  fingers  might  turn  blue,  anger  replaced  by  grief  replaced  by  the  understanding  she  needs  you  and  you  will  tear  down  the  rest  of  the  world  to  keep  her  safe.

nicholas adam locklear was born in inverness, scotland, and still has a scottish accent even though he’s been in the country for twenty years. 

nicky and his family moved to maine a few months before his seventh birthday. they moved to maine because his mother, a once american ex pat, had a father who wanted his kids to be closer because they all seemed to have scattered to the wind. he walked into the fog a week after the locklears had unpacked their home. 

the fog has always been a thing of morbid fascination from nicky and after grandpa took his walk into the woods, nicky was kept particularly far away from the forest line, fog warnings or not. on all saint’s day, the day after he turned eight, nicky found himself in the fog. and then he found himself in his bed with no explanation for either event. 

he started drawing that day, intricate sigils that gave themselves meaning but no voice, so he spoke them into existence: protection from sorcery, protection from evil, wards off negative energies, heal the body and the spirit. four symbols that he couldn’t stop drawing on everything he owned. homework, notebooks, on the walls of his home in crayon ( if you look in those spots today, in the locklear family home, they’re painted now. a whole interior room covered in the sigils intended to look like an artsy photo collage wall. ).

some in town say that the locklears are cursed, that their family bears bad blood, that they owed some kind of karmic debt too large for one life. whatever the rumor, they all boil down to one thing: too many locklears have gone missing in the fog. nicky’s paid little mind to them, though there’s a voice too strange to be his but too familiar to dismiss that encourages him to go in ( to go back ). 

nicky’s life revolves around his little sister, belle, who was born when he was twenty. a few months later, their mother went into the fog and their father went about an hour later to try and look for her. neither came home. though the courts tried to pass belle off to the next living relative, nicky petitioned for rights to guardianship because he lived in the home and could find a way to make ends meet for him to be belle’s caretaker. enter the diner and blue valley.

nicky’s always been a hard worker, never one to take a short cut and never one to take the easy way out. his focus has always been to take care of belle above board, so no one could have a reason to take away the last of his family. that little babe was his world and is nicky’s driving force in most things. he started working at the bar first and took on a job at the diner when he realized that tips got slow after a certain hour and what better way than to make more money by helping to sober up the people you just got drunk ?

when customers offer to buy nicky drinks, he usually puts together a couple of complimentary mixers ( cranberry juice, pineapple juice, and orange juice ) and pours in water from an old tito’s bottle to make it look like he’s adding tequila. he’ll pocket the cost of a drink as an extra tip. he never drinks on the job. 

his jobs aren’t glamorous but they keep the roof over his head and belle’s. he works 14 hour days ( 9 pm to 11 am ; 9 pm - 3 am at blue valley and 3:10 to 11 am at the diner ), 6 days a week ( sundays off ), 84 hours a week and he’s damn good at what he does, and seldom calls out for anything. nicky’s the kind of guy to pound three monsters and call it a day just to keep himself going. he’s used to running on little sleep because of his paternal role with belle and wanting to keep as engaged with her as possible. he usually leaves her with the finnegans so he doesn’t have to pay any babysitting money.

the one time nicky tried, dottie looked at the bills in his hand and just hugged him tightly and said, “no child of mine is going to pay me to watch theirs.” nicky cried that day and spent ten minutes crying into her shoulder and then slept on her couch for a few hours while belle played with the finnegan twins. 

nicky is a good person and he’s a really good dad. at 22 he became licensed in the state of maine to be able to foster and has fostered ten kids in the last five years. right now it’s just him and belle in the house that his parents bought that he keeps up as best as he can. the guest bathroom needed a remodel three years ago and the kitchen appliances only work when you knock on them the right way and if the wind’s blowing in the right direction, but some things are just the way that it is. 

other important things that i couldn’t work in above but you should know: 

nicky gives like ,,, just really comforting hugs that suggest a level of emotional intimacy that is likely to catch you pleasantly off guard. 

will help you buy your groceries because he has a better chance of making fifty dollars tonight than you do. 

usually sleeps on disney princess sheets because belle insisted they would look best in his room ( she was right ). his other sheets are bubblegum pink and he bought them for himself because that’s the vibe he was feeling and sometimes you just have to do what will put a smile on your face. 

his little sister is seven but nicky is the only parent she’s ever known and she usually calls him dad over nicky even though she knows the difference. 

nicky calls her his kid a lot. everyone in town pretty much knows the story. 

steady  hands  and  steady  heart  are  starting  to  shake,  pleading  with  officers  don’t  let  me  bury  an  empty  casket,  the  table  set  for  three  but  you  can’t  bring  yourself  to  put  the  plate  away,  pale  yellow  front  door  once  made  your  laugh  now  just  makes  you  sad  because  your  daughter’s  sunshine  still  lingers,  and  there’s  no  place  to  put  your  faith,  nothing  so  powerful  would  take  away  a  little  girl.

emi is considerably less fleshed out than nicky but we’re still going to do our best to give her a fair shake at an intro, so here goes ! 

noemi was born noemi sofia ibarra in pine haven, maine. though she’s always considered pine haven her home, she’s always desired that her upbringing was somewhere warmer. 

she’s a third generation doctor at the clinic, following in the footsteps of her grandfather and mother and knew from a young age that she wanted to help people. she bounced from pine haven for a while ( from ages 18 to 28 ) and followed her dreams to go somewhere warmer and graduated from emory university’s medical school in atlanta. 

she pushed through medical school immediately after graduating with her undergrad and returned to pine haven as a permanent resident when she was 29. having been home, officially, for ten years, she has found herself in the center of the community. more often than not, residents of town know they can call emi and come sit on her kitchen table if they need urgent care. 

life outside of pine haven’t wasn’t all medical school, though, because she also met her the father of her daughters. at 23 emi gave birth to her elder daughter, evangeline. that sweet little girl meant the world to her and emi spent double the amount of time awake those first semesters trying to get used to having a baby and school to balance. she was the center of emi’s universe, this baby and her father. 

emi’s second daughter, catalina, was born about eight years ago and is as much emi’s pride and joy as her older sister. the pair never fail to blow emi away in their creativity, kindness, and love, and she has made that known to them from the time they could open their eyes. though these times were sweet it’s time to fast forward to the current day because this is where emi shifts for the worse for as much as she doesn’t want to. 

two weeks ago, during the fog warning, evangeline wasn’t home with the family. emi was at work, locked down with a few patients, and when she didn’t get a phone call from her daughter, like she asks of all her family, she started to worry. panic didn’t settle in until after the fog warning and no one had heard from evangeline. frantic, begging, trying to stave off the final moments before the inevitable declaration, emi found herself begging the officers at the station: find me something to bury before absolutely crumbling against the weight of her own fears.

prior to her daughter’s disappearance, emi had put at least some stock into god but spite consumes her whenever she thinks about him. something all loving doesn’t steal child from the arms of their mother’s and something all powerful doesn’t let whatever lives in the forest to exist after taking the first soul. this town suffers because of that fog and venom pools in her mouth waiting to spit at the first person who proclaims that god will watch over her daughter. some people turn to faith for stability. emi has turned away. 

[let-it-raines]

Not Your (soul)Mate {9/15}

Killian Jones doesn’t like the idea of soulmates. He sees how happy his friends are with theirs, but he still doesn’t like the idea, not when he’s found love and lost it time and time again only to still not know his sign. He has no markings on his skin, no voices in his head, but then one day he meets Emma Swan and everything changes. Because, well, he may not have ink on his skin to tell him who to love, but the very first time that he hears Emma’s voice he knows that she’s the one for him. Then again, that could simply be his desire talking. After all, for every word she speaks, he becomes aroused.

It’s not the worst thing in the world to be incredibly attracted to a beautiful woman, but things aren’t that simple when she doesn’t have any interest in being his soulmate.

He’s screwed. And not in the good way.

Rating: Mature

A/n: Hello, all! We are back to our original artwork for the story (which I still absolutely love), but there will be two more fantastic pic sets by the wonderful @captainsjedi before the story is over! It’s the coolest thing getting to see this story through her eyes! 💙

So there was a kiss last chapter? How do you think this chapter will go? Thanks for reading! You guys are the best! 😊

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @initiala @snowbellewells @karenfrommisthaven @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @a-faekindagirl @emmas-storybook @searchingwardrobes @spartanguard @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @dreameronarooftop15 @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @wellhellotragic @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @superchocovian @ultraluckycatnd @cs-forlife @andiirivera @qualitycoffeethings @jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @xellewoods @thejollyroger-writer @galaxyzxstark @cssns

-/-

“What are you doing?”

“Working.”

“On what?”

“The same thing that I do every day. My bloody job.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Ariel breathes out on a frustrated sigh, holding her hands up as she plops herself down on the corner of his desk, her stomach coming into view before anything else. He looks at her stomach far too much, but it always seems to be what she puts in his eye line. “Who peed in your Cheerios this morning?”

“That’s a disgusting phrase,” he groans, placing his pen in its spot in the holder before leaning back in his chair, closing his eyes and rubbing his hands over his face to work out some of the heaviness that he feels there, that he feels all over. A spark flies between his fingertips and his beard, and he nearly yells out in frustration. But that would be too much, too dramatic, and he doesn’t want to give Ariel the satisfaction. “Who even came up with that?”

“Whatever cereal company it is that competes with Cheerios. They’re trying to taint the name.”

“Sounds like a brilliant plan.”

“Mhm,” she hums, reaching forward and tapping his shoulder until he opens his eyes and his hands fall down to his thighs. “Seriously, though. You okay? You’ve been even more grumpy than usual.”

Flashing her a smile, one that he knows is insincere and that she will too, he tries to be “less grumpy.” He personally doesn’t think that he’s grumpy. He thinks that the sun is basically shining out of his ass right now.

“How would you like me to be more pleasant, A? What can I do for you?”

Her right brow raises at the same time that her shoulder does, a pretty uncaring half shrug. “Maybe lose the creepy fake smile. It makes you look smug.” He nods his head and lets his lips fall, raising a leg to cross it over his knee under his desk. “And I want you to take me out to lunch today.”

“There it is,” he laughs, this one genuine as his eyes shift to the clock on his wall and the hand indicating that it’s a little before one. “Shall we go to your husband’s restaurant down the street or do you have somewhere else in mind? I’ll let the lady pick.”

“And they say chivalry is dead.” She slowly stands from the desk, smoothing out her kelly green pants and her blouse. “I want to go to that deli with the good sandwiches. You know the one that makes that - ”

“I know the one.”

He stands from his chair, adjusting his own suit pants, and lets Ariel hook her arm into his as he guides her out of the office, shouting down the hallway to tell Liam that he’ll be back in an hour, maybe an hour and a half only for Ariel to shout that they’ll be gone for at least two hours. That is definitely not happening when he got an unexpected redesign job this morning, but he can already see Ariel trying to weasel her way into it as they walk two blocks over to Delano’s Kitchen. It’s usually pretty quiet there, not too much foot traffic moving through the small deli, so he and Ariel buy their meals and settle down outside under the yellow and white striped umbrellas. Storybrooke can be such an idyllic little town sometimes with its bright colors and preppy storefronts, and it’s usually a pleasant place to be, especially outside in the summers when the temperature is just right.

Today is one of those days, but he’s having a bit of trouble focusing on the gentle breeze that is blowing through his hair or the sunshine that’s being blocked by the shades of his sunglasses. If he’s honest, he’s mostly having issues focusing on what Ariel is saying, which is something he’s most definitely not proud of. She wanted to go to lunch with him today, wanted for them to spend some time together, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t listen to her and engage in conversation with her.

But with every sip of water that passes through his lips he can feel Emma’s mouth on his, warm and pliant lips harshly devouring his and making the flesh on his arms and the back of his neck break out into hives. He’s wondered how she would kiss for months now, has thought about it whenever he thinks about her, but absolutely nothing could have prepared him for the actuality of it all. It was...bloody magnificent. He’s kissed many a woman in his time, had many very solid make out sessions in his thirty-five years, but this was decidedly different.

And a hell of a lot better.

God, she’s just...she’s amazing. She made him feel alive, like the fireworks that were exploding around them two weeks ago were exploding across his skin and down his spine to his groin instead of in the air in the Nolan’s backyard. But then she’d stepped away, said it was a one-time thing, and climbed out of the treehouse.

He kissed his soulmate for the first time in a six-year-old’s treehouse with fireworks exploding around them.

What the hell is his life?

He’d kissed Emma, or Emma kissed him really, and with the feel of her lips still on his and her scent mixing in with his clothes, he watched her run across the yard and into the house away from where everyone was standing on the balcony watching David light the fireworks with help from Robin. Emma told him to wait five minutes before following her, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t go anywhere. He couldn’t breathe.

For every inkling of affection and feelings that he’s developed for Emma since they met, that was the first time that he was sure of it all. He was sure that they could be something, that they could have something real and true. It was the first time that he thought that he could most definitely move on from Milah, from his last love. He’s mourned her and loved her for years, and he never thought he could love someone again. He doesn’t love Emma, but the beginnings are there.

He could love her.

He wants to. That’s thinking much too far ahead, but he tends to do that.

They match up well. The universe tells them so, but he doesn’t care about any of that stuff. Emma says she doesn’t care, but she very obviously cares too much. She cares enough to defy whoever it is that makes the world this way, but there’s no way that she can deny the very real something between them.

And not the fact that they both want to fuck each other the more they talk to each other.

But it’s Emma. He doesn’t know how she’s been hurt, but he knows that she has. Something, more likely someone, has scarred her pretty badly, and that’s why she ran away from him after kissing him. She made the first move and obviously got spooked during it. He has this small, inane hope that she was spooked because she’s scared of the possibilities, of the future, but he doesn’t know.

He can’t know.

It’s not like he’s spoken to her since.

Or texted her. Or written her a note.

They’ve had absolutely zero communication despite him seeing her around town at least ten times in the past fourteen days.

Despite him seeing her across the street at Mr. French’s bakery right now.

This town needs to be much larger. And preferably soon.

She’s dressed in jeans and a simple white button down with sleeves rolled to her elbows, her hair pulled up in a ponytail, and her badge clipped on her belt loops like it always is. David is with her, the two of them standing together in front of the counter, and he has to keep from staring at her for too long before she notices. Or even worse, before Ariel notices.

The absolute last thing he wants is for Ariel to know that he is undeniably pining over Emma Swan. The woman is all about love and pushing him into love, and he doesn’t need the extra push and encouragement from somewhere else right now.

Damn, he wishes he could talk to Emma right now about their kiss and their....friendship.

It’s a friendship, right? It has to be.

“Can I have some of your cantaloupe?” Ariel asks even as her fork spears one and she’s taking it off of his plate.

“Why do you even ask?” he chuckles, turning his attention away from Emma and from David to look at Ariel. “I mean, you know I’m not going to say no, and it’s not as if you waited for my answer anyways.”

She pops the fruit into her mouth as her shoulders shrug. “It’s the polite thing to do. Eric is always complaining about how I steal food from him, but he does the same thing to me.”

“Liam does that. He just leans over and takes food away. It’s usually the food I’m saving for last too.”

“That’s the actual worst. You don’t mess with someone’s food.” He raises a brow at that, not even needing to really respond with words. Ariel smiles and shrugs again. “I’m pregnant.”

“Is that going to be your excuse until you have the baby?”

“Yep. And afterward, it’s going to be that I just had a baby. And then later it’s going to be that I have a baby at home who exhausts me. So you pretty much have to give me all of your food forever now.”

He hums, grabbing a grape. “This will be the last time I take you out to eat then.”

“No part of that is true. I - oh look, there’s Emma and David. Emma,” Ariel shouts. He sinks down in his chair, wishing that he could disappear right now. Why did he not think of this earlier? Of course Ariel is going to call them over.

David quickly jogs across the street, but he watches as Emma debates it, looking around them and digging into her bag to pull out a cookie before she slowly walks toward them, pretty much stuffing the cookie in her mouth all at once.

“Hey,” David says when he gets to their table, leaning against the adjacent table while Emma does the same, her eyes glancing anyone but to his before she puts on a pair of sunglasses, “how are the two of you?”

“Great. Killian’s buying me lunch.”

“Not that Ariel’s given me much of a choice.”

“It’s the least I can do for all of the hard work that I do for you.”

“Do you mean your job?”

“Hush.” Ariel reaches over to grab some more of his fruit, and he takes a moment to see if Emma is still turned away from him. Her presence is making his body heat and his heart ache. He wants to talk to her. Or text her or leave a bloody message on a napkin again to ask why the hell she kissed him and then ran away. “Emma, do you want to come by on Saturday to catch up on Billion Dollar Wreck? Eric is itching to watch, and I told him we had to wait for you.”

“I bloody love that show,” he blurts out, unable to stop himself. Three heads turn toward him, and he makes an effort to keep his lips straight as he looks at Ariel.

“Oh that’s right,” Ariel sighs, motioning between the two of them, “you’re a History Channel buff too. Emma and I love it. Killian, you should come over on Saturday.”

“No,” Emma says. “I mean, I don’t think I can come over on Saturday.”

“What other plans do you have?”

“She doesn’t have any,” David fills in only for Emma to punch his bicep. It should sting because she’s trying to stay away from him, but he honestly finds it amusing. “She was just talking about how she was going to spend all of Saturday on her couch in her pajamas.”

“Those are plans.”

“Oh come on,” Ariel pleads, “it’ll be so much fun. You can wear your pajamas. I’ll get snacks, and it’ll be just like at home except you get to spend time with me.”

Emma groans, the sound probably only audible to him, and he realizes that her words haven’t really affected him today. She hasn’t spoken much, but there’s only been the slightest stirring. That’s...odd. It’s odd, but he’s not going to complain about it.

“Fine but next weekend you’re going to let me spend the weekend holed up alone in the apartment where no one can bother me.”

“You have a roommate.”

“She spends her weekends at Will’s most of the time.”

“Perfect.” Ariel claps her hands. “You guys can come over around noon. I’ll get Eric to make lunch.”

“I think that sounds like a great idea, don’t you, Emma?”

She finally looks at him, and even though he can’t see her eyes, he knows that they’re shooting daggers at him. The scowl that’s painted on her lips helps him realize that. Maybe Ariel calling them over here isn’t the worst thing in the world even if Saturday is most likely going to be a disaster.

“It sounds like it’s going to be the best day of my life,” she says, her tone dripping with sarcasm before she angles her body away from him. “A, I’ll call you later, okay? David and I have to get back to work. Make sure Killian buys you some kind of dessert too. I think you deserve it for having to work with him all day.”

A chill runs down his spine, slowly spreading over his body, but mostly he smiles. At least she doesn’t seem to totally hate him. But it wouldn’t be a complete surprise to him if she didn’t show up on Saturday. It would actually be what he expects.

“I do enjoy sweet things, darling,” he tells Emma, punctuating his words with a flick of his tongue across his bottom lip that has her cheeks flushing red.

Emma nods her head and walks away, her ass looking absolutely fantastic in her jeans, while David says more polite goodbyes. He probably could have been nicer, teased her less, but he seems to not be able to help himself when it comes to Emma. Maybe it’s a side effect of their...predicament. Maybe it’s simply what she brings out in him.

-/-

“Hey, Max,” he laughs when he opens the front door of Ariel and Eric’s house Saturday morning, stepping into their entryway and rubbing his hand behind the thick hair at Max’s ears. “Hey, boy. Oh I’ve missed you. Do you want a cracker? I bet I can sneak a cracker out of your mummy’s pantry.”

“I heard that,” Eric yells, and Killian glances up to see him rounding the corner of the living room. He’s still dressed in his pajamas, and that makes Killian feel a little better about only wearing his gray joggers and a t-shirt from last year’s summer regatta. “Just let yourself in why don’t you.”

“I mean, you did leave the door unlocked.”

“That’s beside the point.”

He rolls his eyes a bit before stepping forward and patting Eric’s back in greeting so that he can bypass him to head into the kitchen to get Max his crackers. It’s the oddest thing, but he’s obsessed with saltines, and if Kilian has to bribe the dog to get him to like him, he has no qualms about that.

“Where’s Ariel?” he questions, opening their pantry and scanning for the food.

“In the shower. She didn’t feel great this morning, so she slept in a bit.”

“Is she okay? Do we need to cancel today?”

“She’s okay. And if we cancel, she’ll absolutely have my head. She’s been talking about you guys coming over for days.” He finds the crackers in the cabinet and opens up a plastic sleeve before grabbing two and turning around to hand them to an eagerly awaiting Max, his pink tongue hanging out of his mouth. “And I keep having to run to the store to get food since she’s constantly changing her mind on that.”

“So what are we eating?”

“Ariel decided on pizza, but not the kind we can get delivered. Homemade individual ones. It’s quite the show for us to be sitting around in our sweats.”

“Pizza is great, babe,” Ariel sighs as she walks into the room in a pair of leggings and sweater with a towel wrapped around her hair. “And my taste buds are changing because of your demon child. The least you can do is spend all of our savings on food.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Eric smiles, reaching his arm out to Ariel to wrap it around her shoulder and pull her into his side so that he can kiss her temple and whisper something in her ear that makes her giggle. A flash of jealousy runs through him at how happy they are, at how much goodness they have in their life with each other, but he has to push that down. He absolutely cannot let himself think that way. That’s how he’ll make himself miserable. “I’m excited for us to eat pizza and sit on our asses all day.”

“That’s the best way to spend a Saturday.”

“Who’s running the restaurant, Eric?”

“Oh no one. I figured people could go in and simply eat all of the fish raw.”

“So Smee?”

“Smee.” Eric nods.

The three of them talk a little bit more, mostly about this year’s regatta and beach festival over Labor Day weekend, before moving into the living room and settling down after closing the curtains so that the usually light room is covered in darkness. He grabs a blanket from the basket and settles down on their recliner while Ariel and Eric lounge on the couch. He can’t help himself from wondering if Emma is actually going to show up, but he’s not about to ask about it. He could tell that Ariel noticed...something between he and Emma after their little run in at lunch. She’s far too perceptive of him, and he doesn’t want to let her onto anything. He may have no clue what exactly is happening with he and Emma, but he does know that she doesn’t want anyone to know that they’re soulmates. She’d likely be pissed at him if he were to let that secret spill.

So he can’t ask if Emma is still coming today. He has to act normally.

Which definitely doesn’t happen when he hears the click of the front door as it opens and Emma steps inside in what looks like her running gear with her hair tucked in a ponytail under her cap and legs on display in her black shorts and loose white tank top with a neon yellow sports bra underneath.

Bloody hell.

She’s trying to kill him. And somehow he knows that she’s doing it on purpose since she’s the one who wanted to wear pajamas and have un-brushed hair and simply do nothing today. And yet she’s apparently decided to go out for a run and wear...that.

What in the world goes through her mind? He’d love to know. He really would.

God, her legs.

“Sorry I’m late,” she starts, reaching down to pet Max’s ears before she’s in the living room and leaning over the couch to kiss Eric’s cheek and hug Ariel’s neck, giving him a slight wave. “I slept a little too late and then decided I wanted to go for a run since I’m going to be sitting on my ass all day. How many episodes did you guys watch without me?”

“None. We waited on you.”

“Oh perfect. What are we eating? I’m starving.”

“We’re making pizzas.”

“Oh my God,” she groans, falling over the loveseat and propping her legs up over the arm while he wishes for all of the world that she would stop talking. He’s never going to be able to move this blanket off of his lap. Her legs are so damn long. “I love homemade pizzas. If I ever get a house, I’m buying one of those pizza ovens. I just have to, because our apartment fire escape definitely can’t hold a pizza oven.”

“We should get one of those,” Ariel suggests to Eric.

“We have one at the restaurant.”

“But that’s not the same as having it here. You don’t let me cook in the restaurant kitchen.”

“You once lost your hairband in the kitchen, and we had to shut down the kitchen until we found it in the trash.”

“That was an accident.”

“There are health codes, A.”

“Whatever.”

“So are we going to cook the pizza now?” Emma asks, breaking Ariel and Eric out of their conversation. “That way we can eat while we watch. Don’t you think that’s a great idea, Killian?”

He grits his teeth and tries to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down as the base of his spine tingles a bit. She’s talking quite a lot today, and like the outfit, he definitely thinks it’s on purpose. He’d really rather like for the woman to make up her mind on whether she wants to tease him or kiss him and then run away because he has absolutely no idea what to think.

“That’s a grand idea, Swan.”

So they make their pizzas, the four of them moving around the kitchen, and he swears that Emma never stops talking. She and Ariel get into some kind of deep discussion about the Outlander book series, and while he’s read most of them, he keeps his mouth closed over everything as he kneads the dough for his, his hands covered in flour that’s found its way to the hem of his shirt.

He should have thought through the repercussions of wearing gray joggers around Emma.

When Ariel and Eric put their pizzas in the oven, only two fitting at a time, they leave the room to sit back down on the couches, leaving he and Emma to themselves. She’s currently on the tips of her toes trying to reach a spice from the top of the cabinet, and he takes the opportunity to cage her in, getting close enough that his chest brushes into her back but not too close so as to make her uncomfortable as he whispers in her ear.

“You know, darling, I find that women who run away after kissing me don’t tend to spend the next time they see trying to arouse me.”

“Lots of women run after you kiss them then?”

“Just the one.”

He feels her breath hitch and her shoulders tense, and he smirks into her ear, taking the risk of rubbing his beard gently into her as his hand travels up her arm. He can small sweat on her skin but also her shampoo and the faintest whiff of the pizza they’re making, and all he wants his to brush his lips under the shell of her ear so that he can hear the sound that he’s sure that it would elicit. But he doesn’t. He can’t. So he reaches his hand up a little further to grab the garlic seasoning she’s reaching for and places it on the counter.

“But I have a feeling that she’d like to do it again,” he tacks on before backing away from her.

“You wish.”

“I do.”

As fun as it is teasing her, he cannot stand that close to her again without doing something, so he quickly leaves the room, moving to the guest bathroom to splash his face with water and take a breather. He can finish making his pizza later, but he needs to calm down. And he refuses to wank another one out in this household, so he’s not going to. But seriously, what was he thinking when it came to his choice of pants?

“You okay?” Ariel asks when he exits the bathroom.

“Just dandy.”

From then on, he decides to stop taking the high road. If Emma’s going to torture him, he can do the same to her. He shouldn’t be the one taking the high road anyways. They’re regressing to how they were when they went out on the boat, and while it’s not what he wants, it’s where they are.

He is too old to be playing games, but life keeps throwing him new decks of cards.

Everyone is silent as the show starts, only the sound of the television and Max scratching his stomach filling the room, but he prefers it enough so that he can have a chance to calm himself down more while they eat. The pizza is delicious, and he idly wonders if he could get an oven on the deck of his apartment. Possibly. He’d have to check with his super. All is well throughout the first episode, but then during the second Emma and Eric start talking about the security system he’s having installed down at the restaurant. It’s a quiet murmuring, not really detracting from the show, but with the consistency of it, he can feel his erection beginning to grow at the sound of her voice in a way that it hasn’t since the first time that they met.

If his body could make up its mind on how it reacts to Emma, that would be great.

Fantastic. Now he sounds like that meme online.

And he sounds ancient saying it like that.

Killian: You have got to stop talking right now.

Emma: Why? Is your sail being raised?

He appreciates the pun, but he’s really not in the mood for it right now.

Killian: Yes.

Emma: Their bedroom is just down the hall. You’re familiar with it.

He glances over toward Emma, but she’s not even looking in his direction, her eyes still glued to the television screen.

Killian: Would you like to join me?

Emma: Like I said, you wish.

Killian: You literally have no idea.

Emma: Gross.

Killian: Oh come on, Swan. I know you find me charming.

Emma: Again. You wish. I’m just going to keep repeating that.

Emma: Why are they spending ten minutes writing a fake letter on this show? I know people wrote letters back in the day because they didn’t have anything else, but I feel like this is over the top.

Killian: It’s rather romantic to think about people writing letters to their loved ones who they may never see again.

Emma: Yeah, but they had to know that no one was going to see the letters.

Killian: But they said the words, love. They made sure there was nothing left unsaid. It’s closure, I think. And there’s also a beauty in putting your words to the page.

Emma: No one writes letters anymore, but you definitely could with the way you talk like an eighteenth century poet.

Killian: Maybe I’ll have to think on that.

Killian: They wrote letters in Harry Potter despite having actual magic.

Emma: You like Harry Potter?

Killian: I was a lanky British boy with dark hair and light eyes who wore glasses. He was basically my hero.

Emma: That’s adorable.

Emma: Do you still have those glasses?

Killian: The magic of contacts is better than the magic of the Elder wand.

Emma: That’s the nerdiest thing you’ve ever said.

Killian: But you understood the reference, didn’t you?

Emma: …

Emma: Yes. Harry Potter was pretty much my hero too. There’s not a lot of stories about orphans that end well.

He realizes what she’s just said, what she’s just revealed about herself even if he already knew that, but he knows not to push. This conversation is a rare pleasant one with her, and he’s not going to mess it up now. They get along when they text, sometimes even when they speak, and maybe this is simply going to be a rollercoaster of a relationship from now on.

Not that it’s a relationship romantically speaking. It’s simply a relationship as in they have one and can’t seem to get away from each other. Not a friendship, but maybe something close.

It doesn’t even matter.

Killian: Do you secretly have a wand and a robe in your bedroom?

Emma: Not that kind of wand.

He has to bite his tongue to keep from laughing, but it doesn’t work, his chuckles still ending up much louder than he anticipated. Ariel and Eric don’t notice, especially since they seem to still be much more wrapped up in the show than he is, and honestly, he’s fine with that. He’s terrified that if anything changes, if there’s the smallest shift, whatever little spell he and Emma are under right now will break and the pleasantries will stop.

No part of him wants them to stop.

And he’s going a bit crazy because he’s starting to think of other ideas for how he can keep getting to know Emma. Or at least, for her to get to know him.

Killian: Look who’s making jokes about the boudoir now.

Emma: Did you say that just to use the word “boudoir”?

Killian: You bet I did.

[marshmallow-phd]

Innocent Intentions

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Tao x Reader

Summary: There was one thing you couldn’t stand in all your years at college: playboys. And the campus was riddled with them. So when Tao - a player with a particularly well-known reputation - inserts himself into your life, you come up with a plan to get rid of him, whether he makes your heart race or not. But the more he’s the around, the more you just might find there’s a hidden layer underneath all the rumors, including a secret you never could have guessed….

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I Final

**

Had you ever been this sick in your life?

You were pretty sure that the answer was an astounding no. Sweat beaded on your forehead although you were shivering and couldn’t seem to get warm no matter how many blankets you piled on. At the same time, all you could stand to wear was an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of comfortable shorts. Anything else just felt like too much weight on your body.  

Your stomach seemed to be on a four hour rotation, letting itself fill up with bile before deciding to empty it all out. The worst part was that after you’d finished throwing up, your body suddenly realized you hadn’t given it any sustenance since yesterday’s dinner. Your stomach growled at you and you growled back at it in a pathetic attempt to show some dominance. You knew if you actually tried to eat something, you’d just be seeing it again soon. Besides, you didn’t have the stamina to walk to the kitchen and stand there while trying to decide what would do the least amount of damage.

For the good part of the morning, you simply lied on the couch, unable to go to sleep but lacking the energy to do anything else. At one point, you did remember to call Mrs. Choi and tell her that is was best for you not to come in today. The last thing the shelter needed was for you to spread this bug around and have all those poor kids running to their shared bathrooms to throw up. Taking care of a couple sick kids was hard enough when the yearly cold made its way around. A whole classroom’s worth would just be chaos. Mrs. Choi was more than understanding and you promised to take an extra shift next week to make it up.

Sometime around noon, you were lying on the couch, watching an old rom com on the TV. It was the same old classic trope: playboy finds the only girl not attracted to his games and falls for her in pursuit of winning her over for the sake of his pride. You snorted to yourself. “Yeah, right.” Like that would ever happen in real life. Jerks were Jerks, frogs were frogs. End of story.

Then you shot up from your lying position. Shit! You were supposed to have another tutoring session with Tao today. A smile crept on your lips and a somewhat evil laugh escaped your throat. Looks like you were able to dodge him after all.

Lying back down on the couch, you settled in even deeper into the blankets, enjoying the silver lining. Then the guilt set in. You should probably at least Jae know that you were sick so Tao wasn’t just sitting there waiting for you. Even if that would be entertaining to imagine.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jae,” you croaked out. Your throat was sore from all the acid that had been passing through it. Maybe you should grab a glass of water after this. Ugh. That meant moving.

“Whoa, you sound terrible.”

Way to point out the obvious. “Yeah, I’ve got the flu or something. So, tell Tao we’ll have to reschedule.”

“Sure!” There was a little more happiness in Jae’s voice than you really thought was appropriate for this conversation. “Feel better, (y/n). And let me know if you need anything.”

“Sure thing.” You hung up before he offered to bring you soup or something else equally obnoxious. Being babied whether you were sick or not was not an action you took graciously. You were a grownup who could take care of themselves.

A little while later, just as you finally beginning to drift off for a nap, there was a knock on the front door. Groaning, you buried yourself deeper into your blankets, hoping the intruder would just go away. But they didn’t.

Louder and louder they banged, determined to be answered. With a roar of your own and newly fueled by annoyance, you threw the protective cover off of yourself and marched up to the door, swinging it open. “What!”

“Well, hello there.”

Your eyes widened. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Tao smirked. “I came for my tutoring session.”

“I’m sick, you idiot. Jae was supposed to tell you.”

“Oh, he did,” Tao nodded. “But you seem to be fine to me.”

“Are you serious?” you croaked out. You were sweating more than a runner just crossing the marathon finishing line. You were sure that your face was a few shades lighter than normal and you sounded like a fifty year smoker. “I’m pretty sure anyone could take a look at me and know that I’m dying.”

The smirk faded from Tao’s face and his eyebrows knitted together. “Are you running a fever? Is it just a cold or could it be something worse?”

“Why do you ev-”

Just then that all-too familiar churning feeling began to bubble in your stomach. In a flash, you turned on your heels and sprinted for the first floor bathroom, not caring in the slightest that you’d left the front door open for Tao to walk right on in. You barely made it in time to empty out your stomach into the toilet. A coughing fit followed, making the burn in your throat even worse.

“Hey, hey, hey it’s okay,” Tao hushed gently as he crouched down beside you. A heavy hand rubbed up and down your back and you hated how nice that felt.

“Go away,” you grumbled as you wiped away the tears that were stinging your eyes.

“I’m not leaving you like this,” Tao declared defiantly. He stood back, staring down at you with a look that dared you to argue. “I’ll go get you a glass of water. Don’t move.” He was gone from the bathroom before you could open your mouth to protest.

After sitting there in silence for a minute or so just listening to the open and close of cabinet doors and finally the clinking of glass and the sound of running water, Tao came back with a tall cup of water.

“I seriously could have done that myself,” you snapped.

“And yet, I see no glass anywhere in sight.”

Damn it.

Before you could even think of a good comeback, round two started. The sound of the bile hitting the water mixed with your own gagging once nothing else was coming up was just making it worse. This wasn’t a state you wanted to be seen in by anyone, but somehow with Tao here, it was a hundred times worse. You just wanted him to go away and leave you alone. You preferred to stay here in misery without an audience.

“I think that’s the universe telling you to stop arguing with me,” Tao chuckled. Crouching down once again, he held the water out for you. “Just swish the first gulp around and spit it out. Then take a sip to swallow.”

You swiped the glass from his hand, not caring if some spilled on the linoleum floor. “I know what to do.” But when you took that first swig, you could only swish it around your mouth for a few seconds before spitting it out into the toilet. “Ugh. Why is it so warm?”

Tao rolled his eyes. “It’s room temperature. And it’s better for your stomach than ice water. Now, take a few sips. It’ll help sooth your throat.” He placed his fingers on the bottom half the glass, pushing it up to your lips before tilting it back.

Once you’d taken three small gulps, you lowered the glass and wiped your lips clean. Neither of you spoke or even moved. This side of Tao was weirding you out. There was absolutely no hint of his usual flirtation in any of his actions. His eyes reflected pure, genuine concern for your health. Why would he be so concerned for you? He didn’t know you and you doubted the two of you bonded that quickly over a few hours of homework. And you knew nothing about him beyond what Wyatt and Kendall had told you. The two of you weren’t even really friends-

“Wait a second,” you narrowed your eyes at him, all thoughts of gratitude gone. “How the hell did you know where I lived?”

A small dose of the smug attitude was back. “Jace in the front office owed me a favor. It was pretty easy for him to look up your home address.”

You gaped at him. No matter that the idea had once crossed your own mind to track down the boy across from you after he was late for Wednesday’s session. But the difference was that you never did. And you were planning on looking for his class schedule, not his home address. “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

Tao shrugged. “Go ahead and report me.”

“I will.”

“Okay.”

You tried to remain bold, but eventually you just deflated. It wasn’t worth the fight. Tao searched around the bathroom aimlessly with his eyes.

“So, you live with your parents?” he asked nonchalantly.

“Yeah,” you replied defensively. “It’s easier to save money than living in the dorms. You got a problem with that?”

He raised an eyebrow, seemingly confused at your attitude. “No. I live with my family, too. I was just making conversation. You don’t have to be so hostile towards me.”

“You came to my house and are now acting all concerned,” you pointed out. “Sorry if that kind of reads straight out of the playboy’s hand book.”

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to judge someone based on what you hear?”

Well, damn. He had you there.

But it didn’t help that his personality came off the same as the forerunning rumors in that initial meeting. Right now, though, you were definitely getting another side to the playboy and it was messing with your head. Or maybe it was the illness making you susceptible to whatever angle he was playing now.

But he seemed so genuine in his worry for you and it was making you doubt your own assumption. His closeness right now was creating a fog in your mind. Were you starting to see him more clearly or were you just seeing another character he was putting on?

“Come on,” Tao whispered. “You should lie down.” His arms started sliding behind your back and under your knees.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” You put your hands on his chest, stopping him while trying to ignore the warmth radiating from him under his plain white t-shirt. “What are you doing?”

Tao looked stunned. “I was going to take you to the couch.”

You frowned at him. “I can walk still.”

He threw his hands up and backed off. “Sorry.”

With what little strength you had, you pushed yourself off the floor. Your knees wobbled and you became light headed from the sudden elevation, swaying back and forth before catching the rim the of the counter.

“Still not going to let me carry you?” Tao growled.

You threw him a look. “I’m fine.”

Rolling his eyes, he wrapped an arm around your waist and supported most of your weight as you shuffled towards the living room. He let you sit down on the couch by yourself before heading towards the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” you called out after him.

“You need to eat something!” he yelled back.

You jetted out your jaw, irritated. “I can’t keep anything down!” A little quieter, you added, “ Like you weren’t here to see that fact.”

“I did see it! That’s why I’m making you broth!” Tao shouted.

Whirling around on the couch, you stared towards the kitchen with your jaw hanging open. How was he able to hear that? And he was making you broth? At this point, you wanted him to leave so you could stop being so confused. When you sat back down in your seat, you found yourself… smiling?

No. No, no, no. You didn’t like being taken care of like this. You really didn’t like that Tao was the one making you like it. What the hell was wrong with you? Just kick him out already. You were sure if you yelled enough, he’d leave, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

You plastered on a frown and crossed your arms to try and make yourself sour and mad at this whole thing. Fake it until you make it, right?

With a large bowl of steaming chicken broth in his hand, Tao came back to the living room, nudging your leg with his foot for you to move over. You complied, putting a sigh and great reluctance behind it. As carefully as he could, Tao put the bowl down on the coffee table before adjusting the blankets and placing one of them around your shoulders. Crossing his legs so he could face you as he sat down, he picked the bowl and held the full spoon out for you to drink.

Narrowing your eyes, you questioned, “Why are you doing this?”

Tao sighed and lowered the broth to his lap. “Can’t I just be nice?”

“We’re not best friends,” you argued. “I wouldn’t even say that we’re friends. And yet, you’re here trying to feed me. I think any logical person would be questioning why.”

“I like you.”

Your immediate reaction was to go straight into a coughing fit.

Tao nodded. “Not the reaction I was hoping for.”

When you were finally able to breathe right again, you blinked at him. “I’m sorry. Rewind for a second. You what now?”

That confident smirk was making a comeback on his lips as he leaned forward. However, this time, it was softer as he kept eye contact with you. “I like you, (y/n). That’s why I’m doing this.”

“Get out.”

Apparently, he wasn’t expecting that answer as leaned back, blinking. “What?”

“I am not a toy for you to play with,” you spat. “I don’t like playboys, so find someone else to mess with.” The way his face twist up, he almost seemed hurt by what you were saying. That didn’t stop you from marching on, though. “I’m not going to listen to anything that’s not genuine, so just stop while you’re ahead.”

“I’m being serious,” he whined. “I’m not playing a game or just trying to see how far I can get. Let me prove it to you. Can I get at least one chance?”

You opened your mouth just to shut it again. The words leaving his mouth sounded sincere, but you weren’t entirely certain. He was so confusing that you couldn’t get a grip on which version of him was real.

Fine. He was saying that he actually liked you, then you’d let him try. But if there was one thing you knew about playboys, it was this: none of them could commit. As soon as things got serious, they ran. So, you’d show him seriousness, you’d show him commitment. And then you’d sit back and watch him run for the hills, proving you right once again.

“Okay,” you agreed. “Fine. Whatever.”

Tao scoffed, looking off to the side as he shook his head. “And here I thought we’d gotten past judging people.”

You gasped. “I do not-”

Tao took the opportunity to shove the soup filled spoon in your mouth. And it was good, making you momentarily forget about the argument you had lined up for him. It wasn’t just plain chicken broth in that bowl. There was something else in it that gave it an extra flavor.

“What did you put in there?” you asked in awe.

“You’ll just have to eat more and see if you can find out,” he teased. You rolled your eyes, but opened your mouth for more. It was completely out of character for you to allow someone else to feed you, bit if Tao was going to be extreme, then so were you. This was going to be a two player game all the way.

“Okay, I think that’s enough for now,” Tao declared after a few more spoonfuls. “If you can keep that down, then I’ll warm it back up for you.”

Your only answer was a yawn as you stretched. You were exhausted and in desperate need for sleep while your body fought off the virus. For the first time all day, you felt like you could actually take a nap. Leaning back into the couch after shifting in his seat, Tao wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest.

“Isn’t this too much?” you mumbled. There was no fight in your body, though, and your voice didn’t give much of an argument either.

“Get some rest,” he whispered.

This was wrong. This was one hundred percent wrong, but your eyes were already closed and your breathing was regulating as your mind gave in to the rest. Tao’s chest shouldn’t be this comfortable. You shouldn’t be feeling so content with his warmth around you. And yet, you easily drifted off, forgetting all the complications and just accepting the current situation. You’d deal with whatever consequences came your way later.

**

Tao took full advantage of the situation, staring down at you in awe. You looked so content curled up in his side, exactly where you belonged.

He couldn’t believe his luck in convincing you that he truly did have feelings for you. And they were growing each time he saw you. How could someone so defiant and argumentative be so cute? If having you give in to him and let him take care of you took a fight every time, he’d gladly fight with you every day. How could he have ever hated the very idea of this?

When Tao had first headed this way, he doubted that you were even going to be home. He really thought you were just dodging him. Then you opened the door looking like death and his protective instincts took over. But there you went again, doubting his intentions. Who knew he’d ever regret the way he lived his life up until now?

He was going to have to work twice as hard because of that just to prove to you that the two of you were meant to be, that you were his mate and that everything he was feeling towards you was true. You still looked at him with a seemingly impenetrable wall of distrust. It was going to take time and patience to remove each brick. While Tao had plenty of the former, he was still learning the meaning of the latter.

An itching feeling began to tingle in the tips of his fingers. At this angle, he could only see a portion of your face since most of it was buried in his chest (a fact that was making the wolf in his chest purr in absolute ecstasy). Your skin looked so soft from this closeness. Did it feel like the velvet it was impersonating? Tao had never wanted to run his fingers across a cheek so much in his life. Whenever he did it to the other girls, it was out of strategy. It drove every single one of them crazy. This was the first time the urge came with no ulterior motive.

Full of bravery, Tao lifted his free hand that wasn’t keeping you secure to his side and reached out. Just before his fingertips could brush up against your cheek, however, he heard car tires pulling into the driveway. Conflict arose as he wanted to stay, but right now was not the best way to meet your parents or explain this current predicament or why you were fast asleep on him.

As carefully as possible, he unglued you from him - earning a whine from both you and his wolf - and tucked you in comfortably on the couch before sneaking out the back door. He waited on the side of the house for your mother go inside before sprinting to his car that he’d parked a few houses down the street.

His heart was pounding in his chest as an exhilarating feeling  pumped through his veins. The adrenaline rush that resulted from sneaking out of your house without being caught couldn’t be explained, but he kind of wanted to do it again. And you’d told him to prove just how much he cared for you, so you could bet he’d be doing a lot more sneaking around here in the near future.

[that-writer-who-never-posts]

Just wanted to say I love you

TOM'S BIRTHDAY SPECIAL!

Warnings: It's pure fluff, with a liiiiiittle mention of dirty talk. Little.

Like 1.9k words

---

As the days passed, you only grew more and more anxious. Now it was the day. You checked a million times on your phone when you woke up. Yes, february 9.

It was the second birthday in which Tom would have you as his girlfriend. On the first one, you got excited, bought him so many things, you went out and had a wonderful time. But this year... First of all, it isn't easy to buy him presents. That man has everything, and he is such a simple person, he doesn't need much to be happy. You thought about getting him a book, but was there a book you could think of that he didn't read yet? You thought about entrances for a tennis match, but he's famous, he gets those for free. Clothes? That was your christmas present already. Maybe a watch? You didn't have money for that. So you had absolutely nothing.

Nothing but that stupid piece of paper. You wrote him a letter, to give with the present, but now there wasn't a present, so you couldn't just give him those stupid words. It wasn't even a well-written letter, like the ones he wrote you.

You sighed in frustration. Well, you should call him, at least. He was at work, actually, he had worked so much these days you had barely seen him. Which gave you more time to freak out. But he promised he would be free tonight.

"Hi, babe." His sweet voice fills your ear through the phone, it's almost like all your tension disappeared.

"Heeeey, old man!" You joke. "Happy birthday!!!"

"Oh, don't even joke about it." He says dramaticaly, but you knew he was joking. "This may be our last phone call. I barely know how to use these things anymore, I needed glasses to find the button to answer! And.... Y/N... They don't even have buttons anymore."

"Thomas!" You laugh so hard, you absolutely forget your worries.

"Almost 40, love." You can tell by his voice he's smirking. "Things don't work like they used to, I must warn you."

"We'll see about that..." You reply on the same tone.

"Will we?" He pretends to be all innocent. "Do you have plans for tonight?"

"Hmmm..." You panic again. "I... Well... Actually, it's your birthday, you can choose somewhere for us to go."

"Then I choose to stay at home with you." He admits. "You know, old people hate loud places."

Maybe that wasn't so bad... You could cook him something special, bake him a cake and make it your present... You were saved.

"That's okay, love." You sighed, relieved. "Do you want me to invite someone else?"

"Birthday threesome?" He gasped.

"NO! Someone is getting a punch on the stomach for their birthday..." You couldn't help but laugh. "I mean like your family or friends."

"Would you hurt an elder?" He laughs too. "But no, darling. Just you and me, that's all I need."

Great, cause I didn't get you anything - You thought.

"Okay." You took a deep breath. "See you tonight. Be in my apartment at 7, don't be late. Old people sleep early and we need to celebrate first."

"I was about to say that." He pretended to be offended. "Don't steal my old man jokes."

"As long as you don't forget the ones you already made and keep repeating them..."

"I'll try." He promises.

"Tommy?" You call sweetly.

"Yes, my angel?"

"I love you. I hope you have a really special day." You confess.

"I love you too, Y/N. As long as I get to see you, it will be very special."

---

Your kitchen was a mess. You had groceries all over it, as you were bent over the sink, with your head in hand, scrolling down on Pinterest, looking for a mind-blowing chocolate cake recipe. You had already decided to cook pasta, because you knew he liked it, and you couldn't be trusted to do something too complicated. Of course, you would add your grandma's special sauce and it would taste amazing. After all, Tom was a simple guy, and you thanked heaven for that.

"This looks nice." You clicked on the link and started to walk around to check if you had everything.

You would start by the cake, since it needed to be on the oven for 40 minutes, enough time to prepare the rest. You mixed everything together, following every single detail exactly like the website commanded.

---

One hour later you were sitting on the kitchen floor, crying. Your pasta was all glued to the pan, the sauce was too bitter and the cake grew so much it fell all over the oven, now the entire house smelled like something burnt.

He would be here in a few hours and now you had no present at all. It's not like these thoughts had never haunted you before, but that was the moment you felt it the most: You didn't deserve him. He always did everything for you and that's how you thanked him. You had to tell him to not come, you couldn't stand seeing him having a terrible birthday because of you. So you called him again.

"Hey!" He says excitedly. "Sorry, love. I can't really talk right now. Only if it's quick."

"Yeah, it is, I just..." You try not to sound like you were crying. "I just wanted to cancel the plans for tonight, I'm terribly sorry. Maybe you should hang out with your friends or something."

"What? No..." His happiness fades, and your heart hurts. "What's wrong? Are you sick? I'd still enjoy taking care of you..."

"No, I'm fine." You cut him. "I just wanted you to have fun."

"And I will." He seemed to be busy, and you heard someone calling him. "See you tonight, babe. I have to go now!"

You hung the phone up before even saying goodbye. Great, now you were feeling even worse, because you heard how excited he was to come.

You stood up and started to clean that mess. You couldn't save almost anything, maybe half of the cake that didn't escape the baking tray. You made a ganache to cover it, but the cake still looked like it just came back from war. You sighed and went to the bathroom, you needed a shower to wash the failure away.

---

You looked at yourself in the mirror. Not bad. A simple dress, a little make up to hide the fact you cried earlier... Your eyes landed on the small table beside your bed, the letter was there. For no apparent reason, there was a deep hate for that letter growing inside you. Maybe because it wasn't enough to be called a present, just like you weren't enough to be Tom's girlfriend.

It's exactly 7pm when you hear knocks on the door. That dork would always arrive early and wait til the exact time you asked him to knock.

"Hi." You said, opening the door without much enthusiasm.

"Hello!" He smiled widely when he came in. It warmed your heart.

You closed the door and turned around to hug him as tightly as you could, whispering that you love him more than anything in the world.

"Y/N... You're the best present life could ever give me." He said, holding your hands when you pulled away.

"Don't even mention that word..." You roll your eyes.

"Which one?" He looks worried. "Does it has something to do with the reason you didn't want me to come?"

"Of course I wanted you to come." You try to explain. "But you deserve the world and I have absolutely nothing to give you. I couldn't think of anything to buy to you, dinner was a disaster, as you can probably smell, and all I have is this stupid piece of paper!"

You point towards your bedroom.

"Y/N..." He cups your face. "You didn't have to get me anything, all I asked you was to spend some time together."

"But..."

"What piece of paper?" He interrupts you. "Did you write me a letter?"

"I should have just got you socks, would be better than what I wrote there." You sighed.

"I would be happy with anything you gave me." He laughed at your bad mood. "Now go get my letter."

"I guess it's better than nothing." You shrug and go to your bedroom.

When you come back, you find him sitting on the sofa, looking at a picture of the two of you, framed on the wall. It during a holliday together, you were making silly faces and your noses were red because of the cold. You smiled at those memories.

"We should do this again." He said when he noticed you were looking at the same thing he was.

"I'd love to." You said, sitting on the sofa beside him.

"Read it to me." He gave you all his attention now.

You sighed. Would be even worse, but you weren't in position to say no to him.

"Dear Tom. Or Thomas, when I'm angry. Or Tommy, when I'm soft. Or daddy when... You know." You blushed and he laughed a lot. "I'm so honoured to be writing this, because it means I was part of another year of your life. I know it wasn't a year with nothing but joy, but I admire how strong you were at the hard times, and I want you to know that whenever they come, I'll be here. I'll be here when you need to cry, when you want to run away from this whole celebrity thing, when you want to discuss deep things about the universe or when you simply want to hear something stupid and laugh a bit. I love your laugh. I love everything you do. I love being yours, and I can't believe that you're mine. I hope this year is even better than the last... You deserve nothing but love and happiness. Happy birthday, my partner in eating cake and being a nerd. I love you. Y/N."

When you raised your eyes to look at him, you saw he was bitting his lip, with eyes full of tears. He pulled you into the warmest hug and kissed all over your face.

"That was perfect... Thank you so much." He said, and you knew he did mean it. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Tommy." You smiled relieved. "I'm happy you liked it... It's not much, but I... I really mean everything I said."

"It's everything I needed, Y/N." He kissed the top of your head.

"Listen..." You pulled away and looked at him, a little embarrased. "I saved half a cake, but we can just put a candle on top of it for you to blow, in case it's too bad to eat."

"Aren't you my partner in eating cake? We should try it." He smirked. "I bet it tastes as sweet as you."

"Thomas!" You blush again.

"See? You already called me Tommy and Thomas tonight." He laughed. "Looking fowards for you to call me the other one later."

"Which one? Tom?" You played innocent.

"You know which one, darling." He winked.

---

Taglist:

@spidey-holland7

@theoneanna

@inlovewith3

@too-cold-for-youhere

@princetale

@drakesfiance

@kcd15

[telling-our-stories]

Coming out stories

A heads-up. These are the original stories, however, they are anonymous. This wasn't intentional, I just screwed up and didn't tag. These stories, aren't mine, so if I've posted yours and you want it taken down. Please, just ask me.

Alright.

I am tired of people who are against the LGBTQ+ community. Its alright to have an opinion. It is not alright to put people down for being themselves. The first pride was a riot, a fight for what they believe in. I'm trying to do the same. I'm trying to gather the stories of the fallen, the ones who are still standing, the people who are willing to fight for everything they are. And I am fully willing to take a stand and fight to prove we exist. To prove that we're here, and we aren't backing down.

Hello, my name is Dustyn. I'm here today to collect stories from the LGBTQ+ community. There's a lot of people who are against us, which is exactly why we need to stand our ground. I'm not asking for a fight, I'm asking for your stories. My story is not yet finished, though I'm a bisexual trans male. Our stories are important, because they show who we are and how far we've come. I've struggled a lot in my life, but I've made it. So have others. Here are some of those stories. We'll start with mine. I've gone through many identities, mostly trying to figure myself out. I'm still doing that. My family doesn't accept me for me, but I have many friends who do. There are so many accepting people in life, and I appreciate all of you who are proud to be who you are. Whether closeted or not, you are all valid and amazing.

"Hello my name is Melissa and i am bisexual. My family didn't really have a harsh reaction to it other than the fact that they didn't understand it at first. That was most of my trouble was people saying that bisexual wasnt valid. Im sorry mine is so short but i think the moral is that you are valid. No matter what you identify as on any spectrum in the LGBTQ+ community. Also even if your outside of the LGBTQ+ community and your just an ally. We love you and you are all valid.”

"Salutations everyone. My name is Talan. I am non binary, panromantic and i am currently between asexual and demisexual. I was raised in a very christian household where my mother and father had very strict beliefs. They believed that being anything but straight and to me being anything other than my assigned gender was a sin, and many people still say that to me. When I came out to my dad he flipped, he took me out of school for a year and put me in online school. During this time in my life I had reached a dark time where i thought that it was never going to get better but trust me it does. I am still living with my dad who does not accept me and at this point we don't talk that much, but it does get better. We have gotten to the point where we can have a civil conversation with each other and im back in school. I have an amazing girlfriend and multiple qpps who i love very much. Everybody at school is very loving and supporting. Remember that family is not chosen for you, you make your own family. If you ever feel down than just know that there are so many amazing and kind people in the world who love you for who you are, no matter what that may be. You are loved."

“I'm glad you reached out to me, anything to help people understand more about the LGBTQ+ community. I am 19 now and I came out to my family at the age of 14. My parents were the typical ones who said it was just a phase and it would not last but here I am five years later and I made it through. There was a point where I had no one to turn to but then i met my amazing boyfriend. He helped me through the good and the bad and showed me that there were things to stay for. I am now in college and pursuing a career in photography at the University of Arizona. I hope that could help a bit!”

"Okay. Well. My coming out experience was definitely not expected in the slightest. I was in the 5th grade. Realizing that I liked both boys and girls was quite the revelation. I had a lesbian friend who was the first ever gay person I met or knew. I remember being backstage of a show I was in and just crying through the words, "I know I'm supposed to love guys, but I love girls too". After that. I didn't tell anyone else, until 6th grade. I was a track meet and a group of people I sat with was talking to my lesbian friend about kissing. I forget the exact conversation, but I spoke up and said I would kiss her. A Christian girl in my class was nearby and heard. She was disgusted. Therfore by the end of the week, I was completely outed to my entire school. It was ugly, but it got better over time I guess. I'm a junior in high school now. I have yet to come out to my parents, but at least I know that I am finally comfortable in my my sexual orientation and gender identify (demigirl, which I didn't figure out until a few short months ago)."

"Hey, I haven't actually come out to everyone yet but I have told a few people and all of their reactions were positive "oh you're bi? cool" and that was it. No "so do you like me?" or anything which was super great. So I was "straight" and when I heard about the LGBT community I was "straight" for about another five days. I did some thinking and realised I'd actually liked girls before, and shortly after came out as bi to a few of my close friends at the time. They were all supportive, bar one who said "you're just looking for attention lmao".Coincidentally, she had also come out as pan and had received the usual "you're attracted to pans?". I go to a Christian school, so it would be pretty disastrous if the news leaked out, but naturally it did. Not everyone knows, maybe about 10% of my grade. I suspect some teachers found out about how some people were LGBT (not many though, there's about 5 of us), because our dean of year gave the "you're too young to know that" talk. Mostly at school we get sheltered from all LGBT news and details at all, and my parents hadn't told me much about it either, even though they are supportive and would be okay if I came out as bi."

"I'm bisexual. I first came out to my elementary friends over the phone 3 years after we went to different middle schools. They were mostly all so accepting and I was so overwhelmed I hung up on them. I spent a few minutes laying on the ground clutching that phone to my chest, I'd never felt so loved. I cried and cried and cried because these people atleast the ones who accepted me see me different now but are okay with it. Two years later, now, I still haven't come out to my parents. I still need a few years but I'm a little bit more open at school now most of my friends accept me. Others were cut off, I can't do that with my family so they still don't know. Not as if they would take me seriously either way. I want to get past college get a place a stable life then maybe I'll be ready, just maybe. Thank you for listening to my story."

"I was surrounded by my Uncle and his husband for years. I always knew that gay people existed. When I was younger I never thought anything different of myself; I thought I was one of the boys.

 It never really clicked that I was the only one who saw it that way.

When I was 7, my mother and sister suggested I take dance I shot them down saying "that's for girls."

They didn't get it.

I wasn't entirely sure what came over me in that moment either but I know it felt right.

As myself and the people I knew grew up I realised I wasn't happy with the way I looked. I tossed it up as your typical dislike.

~every girl went through that at my age didn't they~

All the girls I knew were so happy that they were becoming women and I just sat in the back wondering why I didn't feel the same way.

I still didn't get it.

Once my depressed state got worse I decided to read into ways to love yourself and your body.

I started taking selfies, dressing up, wearing heels and makeup, forcing myself to sing even though I hated the way I looked and sounded.

It got worse.

I broke down when nobody was looking and acted like it was fine; like I wasn't praying that whatever I was feeling would go away for even a second.

And one day I looked in the mirror and I thought "this isnt right. This isn't me. This isn't what I want. Who in the hell is that person staring back at me?"

And I accepted it. That I would never be who I should be. That I would never be happy. Because nobody would love me. Nobody would want me. And nobody would accept me. Because if I was happy then that meant my family wouldn't have had the little girl theh thought they had gotten.

And up until recently no one knew that I broke down every night, that my thoughts got so bad I wanted to drown in my own tears so that maybe it would all be over. Because to me coming out to them was worse than death.

And here I am years later. My family knows but they don't care. They don't try to comprehend that this repression it kills me all the time. So I gathered my money got myself exactly what they told me they would never let me have and I lie. I go behind their backs and I live like the man I really am online. I bind my chest and I hide from their sight and when they ask I say it's just their eyes.

Because if they knew - if my mother knew - they would rather me suffer day after day than be who I am."

"heyo, i read your post and id like to put something to it.

i am a part of the community, havent came out to my parents yet, because i know for a fact id be sent to a psichologist or thrown out. but i am me online

an old friend of mine is a trans guy and found me a few weeks ago. he said he saw that i support LGBT+ and it was so comforting for him. a friend who i haven't talked with for 9 years!after he told me that he lost half of his family for being himself, his dad ignores him since, but he has a boyfriend and got his life together

and that i could be a little comfort for him is really nice. even the people who are closeted can be helpful in the community."

"Well, my mom took it well. I had gotten stuck in my closet and then she got me unstuck and I told her I was queer.

My brother, we were sitting in the car and he told me he always knew, but I had to keep it a secret from my dad or else bad things would happen.

My friends hugged me and started to use my name and pronounsSo coming out to my dad and stepmom, it wasn't even a coming out but a forced outage.

They took my phone away the night of a Panic attack that I still have nightmares over and searched it. They read all my messages.... everything.

I wanted to scream for it to stop, but I knew it wouldn't. They told me that they loved me, but I had to stop being me and I have to go back to being a girl who was cishet

But once you have a taste of freedom of who you really are, you can never go back ...I couldn't hide again. I just had to wait till I could spread my wings and be free somewhere else."

"Ok so for the thing you tagged me in, I don’t exactly have a coming out story yet, and I’m not sure of my identity entirely. I’ve tried out tons of labels and am sticking with queer at the moment just cuz it takes the stress off of picking an extremely definite word to describe me. I came out as queer last year, but I don’t consider it a coming out story because 1) I only told my friends and not my family, and 2) queer doesn’t completely define me. In real life, I’m doing my best to go back in the closet, but I think my “friends” may have told other people who spread rumors around my school, so it’s been difficult. A bunch of people make random references to me liking boys (I’m amab) and it made me uncomfortable enough that I started telling them I’m straight. I’m planning on staying as far in the closet as possible until people get more accepting and I understand myself fully."

"It's not a coming out story (mostly) but it's a realization of sorts.

Yesterday our Social Studies teached asked us to form groups and discuss a contemporary issue that we would present at the front in a few minutes. Long story short I suggested LGBT+ community and rights, which my group mates accepted. I live in a really conservative country (with at least 81% of the entire population identifying as Christians) and that's an extremely taboo topic. It ended up leading the teacher asking us to raise our hands if we believed the lgbt community should be allowed Civil Union, not considering religion an all. I was so afraid to raise my hand, but it was what I believed in and I couldn't live with it if I didn't show it, so I raised my hand. I didn't really do this as a member of the community, I wasn't thinking of myself. I was thinking of a world where this is accepted in my country, where I can go outside and be open and love whoever I wanted to, and I guess the idea of standing up for what I believed in was what pushed me to do that. A big majority of the class was against, and I was just so afraid even though some small logical part of me knew they would not do anything.Today, our Civics teacher had us grouped again to make a live news report and once again, my group (international news) got assigned lgbt+ community because of our listed problems yesterday. I suggested interviewing a member of the community and basically came out to two people I knew were trustworthy (nearly all three other members in that group but thank God I think the third one did not hear) and we agreed that I could be used if I only had my voice recorded and edited to not sound like me. Just a few hours ago I found out that one of my classmates, who I thought was a nice sweet boy, turned out to be a big homophobe. "Sodom and Gomora and Liberals are teaching unnatural things" kind of guy.I guess that broke something in me, because another thing I was really passionate about for when I grew up was this certain job, though no one supported me. I used to want to do that so much the idea of anything else repelled me, sometimes the idea of the other more "acceptable" jobs brought me to tears. Somehow this one admission that I thought everyone should have the right to at least a civil union and finding out my classmates didn't believe in that crushed something in me hard enough that I lost the passion to do that job I wanted. It makes no sense how this connected with that apart from the fact that neither are things I have been or would be supported on, but I guess seeing that this world isn't really safe made me lose hope.I felt scared to raise my hand, almost like I was actually coming out (which I now realize I'm absolutely never doing to many of those people) and the realization that some place I thought was a safe space for me, because all of those people in that class, I thought I could trust them. I've been with them since before I could spell "friend" correctly, they're family to me, I believed I would be safe and accepted, and then came to find out that wasn't quite the case...But well, basically I was terrified then crushed to find out that I could have outted myself to a group of people who would not take my news lightly

Found out some people I thought were friends thought people like me were broken

Found out some people I used to have the biggest crushes on didn't even believe in letting people have a civil union."

"I’m very excited to see brave people like you ready to start a revolution, so I thought I’d share my, sorta, coming out experience.

So I have divorced parents meaning I’d have to come out to four parents. This happened mainly last year. I was pretty sure I was bi, (tho I now identify panromantic demigirl) I knew my dad and stepmom would be great with it, and they were. But when it came to my mother, well, she wasn’t really homophobic, but she had different ideas about how a gay person should behave. She outed me to her after overhearing a convo with my friends. She then told me I was too young, and gave the “its a phase” talk. She knew I was fairly open about it because I lived by a motto to “be so myself that other people feel brave enough to be themselves too” But she believed a gay person should keep it a secret. Nowadays I don’t believe in the process of “coming out” I am open about my sexuality and gender but I don’t do formal coming outs. I always believed that if straights don’t have to, neither should I just because I “don’t fit a default” My mother wants me to come out to my stepfather even tho he already knows. I thought sharing a coming out story that also showed you should never feel obligated to come out. My mother guilt trips me about it, but I remain rooted in my beliefs that I shouldn’t have to come out, which I think is valid.

Hope my story can help anyone and just wanna say you are so so valid, amazing and powerful and should never feel pressured to be open if you don’t want to. Long live the revolution!!!🏳️‍🌈."

"Hello! I read your post about collecting LGTBQA+ stories and I thought Id share my brief experiences as a bi girl from Germany ^^

Tbh I never made a big deal about coming out, as I personally feel it goes to show that we're revealing a wierd secret, and Id like my sexualtiy to be something normal, not a main identifying characteristic. And everyone of my friends or classmates that I mention it to appear to have no problem with that whatsoever, and as far as I know Im not percieved as predatory either.

My family, however, is a whole different matter. While Im sure that my mums side of the family would be perfectly fine and my parents know already, when youve heard your fathers parents talk about eastern europeans and other immigrants using only slurwords and your uncles parents have expressed their absolute disgust about seeing a gay couple enjoy a nice picnic at the park, you get very cautious about who you tell. Especially since I dont want to put the supportive family in the position of having to consider whom they can talk to about this.

Another thing that Ive noticed after my exchange year in Sweden and seeing my first pride, though not having the time to attend, on my way there in Copenhagen, is how little support my country gives to this community from a social perspective. At my swedish school, all the teachers had a rainbow keyband from a *seminar about LGBTQA+ people*, something Im sure Germany would never do, and all of them kept it. There was no question whether you support us or not, it was an acceped part of social life and no big deal; we even did a private introduction round for pronouns!

And then I came back here. During pride month, there were no rainbow decorations, the most I saw of a parade was two discarded paper flags on the ground afterwards. When I vented about this to my ally friend, she only said that "some people and companies just like to stay neutral". Try all of them in Germany, but sure.

I know our community has come far, but I can also see that it isnt fsr enough, and that is the fight I am still fighting.

Hope this helps ^^."

"Alright. Mine isnt that interesting but I'll do my best :)

I came out as bisexual when i was in the sixth grade. It wasnt a huge deal to my mom. She said okay and we went on with our lives. Around the end of that year, i told her i thought i was trans and she said i wasnt. I came out to her again six months later and she said the same thing. There was a lot of yelling. Mind you, she isnt transphobic at all. The third time... she was so done with me. She yelled and so did i. It took four different times for her to accept me, and even then, i had to do the last time over text because i was scared of her reaction."

"So, my name is Ell. I identify as queer and demigender. I don't know what to say here really early than it's important to find others like you when you're not as close to your family as you used to be. Because of your identity. My family is more accepting than most, but still. The community online is so so important to me, and this project makes me really happy. So thank you. "

"I was at sea world and my mom was in the car I was talking about how my dad was super homophobic. My mom says that my dad acts like it’s a disease I said will if it is then I have got it, My mom is understanding and says that she will love me no matter what."

"So, I’m non-binary and bisexual. That’s a big no-no in a latino family like mine, it’s always grow up, get married with the opposite sex, and have kids. I don’t know why I felt that I could just say anything to my mom one day and she immediately objected. “Are you sure you’re not a lesbian or just confused? You can’t like more than one gender. Also, what’s this about a non gender? You’re either a boy or a girl, that’s it.”

Thankfully after a lecture and me apologizing (though I did nothing but tell her more about me) she let the subject go. I’ve never told my dad because I know mom just will get in the way and say I’m lying again, but at least my friends are understanding and almost completely LGBTQ+."