#but nandermo is dead to me

[sumendi-blog]

I needed a longer aisle for all the "un canonizing" moments for the Nandermo nation

It has been fun, guys

[sumendi-blog]

"Two males can love each other, be close, and not romantically involved" the summary

I think it's even "insulting" for them that we thought that there was something more...?

Well, I think this is it for Nandermo

Harvey Guillen answering a Nandermo question at Fan Expo Canada. March 2024.

[sumendi-blog]

Sooo 10 more chapters for P*ul to destroy Nandermo and make it a profound male friendship in the end?

HEEEEERE WE GO!

[nandermoenthusiast]

not them having a fucking showdown about which one of them was more devoted to the other………… not them making it a fucking competition and a fucking argument which one of them is more down bad horrendous for the other and STILL they havent had their realisation in the dead of night/day while lying in their bed/coffin that the other has feelings for them

[sumendi-blog]

The Vulture festival interview + Yana (co director) interview both confirmed that they're shipteasing Nandermo, and have 0 regrets. Paul even described Guillermo's feelings like "adoration for his boss". And described it's fans like "a small vocal part of twitter"...wowwowwow

And then they end saying they will continue doing it because "it's the golden goose laying the golden eggs". 0 regrets.

Really, it's a bit insulting. I'm not going to lie, in multiples interviews before they hinted that this was a bromance, but now they went full force.

At this point with Nandermo dead, have the balls and give them love interests, well-written love interest, if the only ones that want them together is "a small vocal part of twitter" it won't affect the audience

[sumendi-blog]

I just have finished all 5 seasons and the multiple interviews in the internet, and after reading your analysis...I don't have doubts that they're shipbaiting, horribly, just for the views, and they will continue doing it until the end.

The whole "you think you want something you really don't want" is crearly referring to Guillermo's feelings for Nandor: I really think S6 will be S4 all over again but this time, Guillermo and Nandor will find (a healthy) happiness in their own directions...they love each other, but they're not what they need. How they will put new love interest in just one season and make it reasonable...I don't f***ing know.

Is "interesting" that in a show that is mainly comical, shows the worst of the worst of each character (Guillermo is my fav, but HEY, how many people died because he lured them to be food for the vampires? There's no saint in the show) the would go all "puritan" and try to show that unhealthy relationships can't change/can't work.

Yeah, shipbaiting for views.

"you don't actually want the thing you think you want", a nandermo retrospective

In this post of mine deep diving into the decision of guillermo staying human, I said I wanted to make a nandermo analysis at one point. I absolutely have no self-control so I immediately started working on it. So, welcome. This is it.

This post will attempt to analyze in depth two implications of the infamous quote from above by Yana Gorskaya:

It’s shipbaiting and we’ve got a storm coming

It’s slowburn and the importance of recognizing toxic dynamics even when enjoying the drama and the potential

The quote comes from this interview question right here:

It can be interpreted in a lot of ways and directions, the most prominent one being “and they were platonic all along. trust us you dont want them together” — it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth because I can see the showrunners dangling a carrot in front of a target audience until the finish line. Especially when one of the directors herself says and proves outright that nandor and guillermo have been framed romantically on purpose just by having the line “will they won’t they relationship” in the interview.

Keep in mind the admittance of will they won’t they directly out of Yana automatically eliminates the argument that the writers were strictly going for platonic friends. There’s no refusal. No going: yea no we dont know. They wrote nandor and guillermo to be romantic.

From there we have two routes we can take:

1) On the direction that they’re not having nandermo be a thing: This makes everything shipbaiting.

At least it’s not queerbaiting, I hear you say, both characters are queer. I’d argue shipbaiting is worse in this situation, because in this frame, it rather looks like the showrunners are using the certain attachment and sentiments of the audience to string people along:

Both of these characters are people of color, one is plus size, both of them queer. If it’s shipbaiting, this kind of alludes to discrimination, I’m afraid. It does not look good on the showrunners/producers’ part (when Taika’s name is attached, too. This man is literally in OFMD. Help)

And you don’t want to be like Jason Rothenberg; beefing with your own fandom, making writing decisons to spite them, kill a lesbian character after exploiting your sapphic audience and be infamous for the worst case of bury your gays, shipbait for seven seasons to hold the largest fandom in the audience to keep your views up, mistreat your POC cast members... etc. God, yeesh.

It’s almost incriminating in that sense, when they stopped floating around the idea of them and made it canon by dropping the “maybe he has feelings for you as well” line in season 3 and while guillermo was disguised as nandor. And have him be bitchy about gail. Everything about s3 told us that guillermo had a thing for nandor.

If nandor and guillermo were intended strictly as just a couple of pals, they could easily shut down the excitement and expectation for the ship, but instead they did those. It was a confirmation more than anything rather than a rebuttal.

But I guess for the shipbaiting case, the “rebuttal” was s4 when Guillermo was in his healing era, Nandor wanted a wife, and they resetted allathat in s3 to practically nothing.

As much as I’m going to use this as an opposition argument in section two, it also is a potential support for shipbaiting case, and that is the repetition of “friends” for nandor&guillermo that started becoming more of a thing in seasons 4&5. Especially s4.

It saw Guillermo outgrowing Nandor for a potential love interest when s3 had the biggest plot twist in their favor ever, it was going somewhere, and then they immediately established not only Guillermo finding a boyfriend in London, but also him having no hard feelings about Nandor wanting to find a wife when we all know how hard he’d taken Gail — and most important of it all, Nandor just wanting a Freddie of his own. It’s really weirdly romantic drama-centric with each of them getting partners & setting up for jealousy, but the writers subvert every trope, and instead do this weird shit with Nandor’s storyline where it’s purely a horror story from Marwa’s POV and he’s a horrible, selfish monster (and I was flabbergasted at the downward spiral his character took) — yet he’s incredibly “generous” to Guillermo because he chose to make his own Freddie rather than take his and let him go in the end, it’s all so very bizarre.

Which makes the shipbait even more outrageous. Because now it’s personal since it has more shipbait moments inbetween that don’t have heterosexual explanations. KEEP IN MIND THEY’RE STILL FRAMED ROMANTICALLY THEY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING AND THE WHOLE THING WITH DEREK IS A WHOLE CHEATING METAPHOR.

The equivalent would be that one scene in Sherlock BBC when irene goes “of course you are [in love with him]” to john and how the show keeps bringing up how other characters think they’re in a relationship and saying it. You never want to be like Sherlock, either. Ugh.

I’ve been in through enough queerbaiting&shipbaiting to know that it could definitely turn out this way, and I’m still half-expecting this to be honest. I’m also a big fan of ofmd and go, but they’re exceptions, not the norm, and as much as wwdits is a wildly revolutionarily queer show, there is enough material for it all to turn out to be nothing.

So, in conclusion: shipbaiting turns out to be worse than it is because it’s on purpose and there’s no salvaging it after the “it was friendship all along ❤️” insistence, there’s receipts and the actors are on board with it. And in a situation like things, there is only one thing to say:

At least we have fanfiction and the actors like the pairing.

2) On the direction that nandermo is a thing: “you don’t know what you’re asking for and you won’t like it if we give it to you right now” dilemma, aka “you don’t actually want the thing you think you want” —

which basically rounds up to yana meaning, if nandor and guillermo were to be a thing right now at this point in their relationship, it would be messy, abusive and toxic [and there are still other plots to explore and directions this pairing could/have to be taken before they become canon.]

“Yeah they are messy, toxic characters, we know what we’re asking for,” I hear you saying. And I say to that, no, you really don’t, and you would end up hating what they did with nandor and guillermo if they became canon before they were true equals. One example of this would be people switching on Olicity (Oliver and Felicity from Green Arrow, wildly popular crackship there was no hope and only the teasing of in the fandom before it became a real thing) after the writers rushed to make them canon and did them very wrong afterwards.

The allure of nandermo is guillermo breaking the status quo and catching nandor slipping by establishing himself as his equal, destroying the power imbalance completely, them standing as individuals with equal power if not guillermo flipping the dynamic upside down and asserting dominance over nandor this time when he was a mere familiar nandor couldn’t care less about before.

This process is still in progress as of season 5 and let me tell you this, them becoming canon during Guillermo’s familiar status would have been downright icky.

This show’s only other canon ship ladja is the most healthy, gomez and morticia-esque thing ever, they’re in love, they’re horny all the time, they are queer, they fuck other people all the time and encourage each other, they’re wildly protective of one another, the man steps up to be a single father of a child he isn’t obligated to look after and he doesnt let it derail his wife’s career or force motherhood onto her, like. Do you really expect they wouldn’t let nandermo cook enough before they are on this level of iconic and healthy before they become a thing?

Nandor wasn’t even able to admit that Guillermo was a friend to him (and to Guillermo’s face) up until season 5. In season 1 he was weirded out by even saying it, in season 4 he could only manage to say “best man” and immediately reverse when the word friend was brought up — “closest companion for 13 years” in the market fight & “i may have killed my friend” muttered to himself before guillermo comes bursting out the door, it’s like he didn’t want to admit out loud that Guillermo became very important to him in a very short amount of time. Half of the pairing consisting of a person who is unable to make it clear and known to the other how important and precious he is just doesn’t sit well in the case they are in a relationship.

And the power imbalance is still there even if you don’t see it or think it’s gone, albeit knocked almost even by “I can kill you if I want to but I don’t” assertiveness from Guillermo.

Because even in season 3 and 4 in instances Guillermo was able to best Nandor in power, he’s still inferior to and is in service of him — because he’s working for something he wants from Nandor, which Nandor of course keeps taking advantage of by treating Guillermo like a subservient familiar (although it keeps getting better as things change more and more) even if in name he’s a bodyguard.

Their relationship is that of employment in name, the nature of it is give-and-take, Guillermo says it himself in s3 Nandor is a boss more than a friend and he would still be have to be “friends” with him because he’s his boss. And let’s be honest, before Nandor really became found family to him and he himself realized that over the seasons, Nandor was a means to an end for Guillermo, he’s “Master”, not “Nandor”.

And from Nandor’s perspective, Guillermo is with him because he wants to be a vampire. Simple as that. It’s what allows Nandor to exploit Guillermo.

Imagine a premature romance happening in these circumstances, it’d be absolutely in abuse territory, you don’t make your significant other do the dirty work for you like that. It’s why boss-employee relationships are most of the times, forbidden in the workplace, because the boss holds some power over the employee and can very much have them do things that they don’t want to do.

Nandor would not be able to see Guillermo as an equal even when there are feelings involved, because I have to remind you, Nandor is a cruel bastard, and it would turn into one of those AITA posts real quick between them when Guillermo is fully in service of Nandor still.

And remember how Nandor treated his “love” Marwa, how fast he dropped her from his life once that “phase” was over, all the things he did to her, she was his significant other — yet he never connected with her, not really, she was just an accessory to him and this was supposed to be “love”; and the other side of the coin, how he keeps self-sabotaging and ignoring his real problem by filling the void with what he thinks is the solution, getting in the way of his own happiness.

This can’t be ideal from Guillermo’s perspective when imagining a relationship with him.

And now, change Guillermo’s gender. Imagine it being a woman who’s going through this. It’s putrid toxic when you think about it like that. And to think “she” would receive Nandor’s respect and equal footing once she became a vampire same as him — uhh... No, please, thank you. It’s less fun and more this is problematic when the tables turn, isn’t it?

Not to mention how open the vampires’ relationships and sex lives are, they are not monogamous. Guillermo is a very repressed and private Catholic, he wouldn’t be able to handle Nandor and Laszlo’s trysts. He has his own journey to go through for him to be also into open relationships because Nandor sure as hell won’t turn monogamous for him, this is wwdits.

Which is why the progress of “work relationship” to “official declaration of friendship” over the course of season 4 & 5 is very important in their dynamic, because it takes things into a more attentive, caring and intimate territory in which both openly care for each other beyond being Master and Familiar. They both grew tremendously as individuals. Guillermo admits he loves Nandor the most, Nandor is finally able to say that Guillermo is his friend and openly do acts of service and somewhat redeem his selfish actions in s4 when he was lashing out making dumb decisions and actively self-sabotaging because he was given the power instead of confronting leftover problems he was repressing from s3.

This solidifies their connection, makes it something undeniable that it affects a vampire who immediately is able to move on from another’s death. You’re shown again and again how they react to death and how insignificant it is to them, yet Nandor is close to tears when he thinks Guillermo is dead, falls to his knees even, and is even more disturbed and outraged when he thinks Laszlo is violating his corpse.

For the first time you see that more than an unhealthy codependency or a symbiotic relationship between a vampire and a slayer bodyguard/familiar, Nandor is emotionally attached to Guillermo.

Like, really attached that he will actually be kind and giving and forgiving — not only did he violate a vampire society taboo to kill a fellow vampire, but also overcame the pride and humiliation because he finally realizes Guillermo is much more important to him and that he actually doesn’t want to kill him when the anger lets up enough for him to see that. (Thank you Patton Oswald for your service)

And we don’t stop there. He accepts him as an equal and invites him to live together in the house, which proves that even when he was a slayer bodyguard Nandor didn’t see him as an equal, and after Guillermo is having problems with the killing side of being a vampire, he doesn’t humiliate or shame Guillermo through this. You‘d think he and the vampires would make fun of him endlessly, but they let Nandor organize this intricate ritual so all of them together can allow Guillermo’s decision to be as authentic and without pressure and shame as possible. You’d think that ritual room was prepared by Guillermo but everything is done by Nandor, so he proves he’s not entirely unable to function as a normal being who can live by himself, he’s just dramatic and likes to be pampered.

If you thought The Roast was an incredibly generous nandermo episode for me to think we collectively hallucinated it like a Goncharov moment, this final episode is downright fanfic. Nandor has never been this nice with Guillermo, EVER.

All of this is done right after Nandor’s official admitting that Guillermo is his friend. This is a crucial step in their relationship for Nandor to consider Guillermo to be more, and Guillermo to question just what they are.

And love can only work where there’s mutual affection and respect for one another. And the writers are gradually working up to achieve that while tackling individual character arcs for nandor and guillermo to get there.

The power imbalance I’m talking about is a thing that exists beyond the powers they hold over the other’s head, it is about what they think of each other as. What Nandor is to Guillermo, and what Guillermo is to Nandor.

They could only become canon without it being toxic is when Nandor can look at Guillermo and think — “This is my friend and not my servant” and when the carrot of vampirism isn’t hanging in front of Guillermo and he’s naturally an actual part of the friend group (so that he wouldn’t be mistreated while he’s Nandor’s partner too.)

And I really don’t think nadja out of nowhere saying “my best friend” about laszlo was a coincidental writing choice.

And we’re nearly there at this point. Mister Nandor nobody can betray me and get away with it the Relentless just let Guillermo get away with it, and not only that, he fixed everything for him. Everything. He didn’t even get jealous that Guillermo had a choice in staying human when he obviously would kill to be human in season 3. He just went “I will fix”. It’s the most selfless thing he did in the entire series and he only got competent and smart when it was Guillermo in question — he wanted to fix the friendship.

And in episode 8, he told Baron Afanas — “whatever Guillermo’s flaws may be [...]”

That suggests Nandor doesn’t see any flaw in Guillermo, and is unaware if they do in fact, exist. He genuinely likes Guillermo, enough to cry and mourn when he thinks him dead, enough to snap at the Baron and defend him until the end, enough to clutch his favorite sweater like a shock blanket. It was this episode that cemented Guillermo as indisposable to Nandor, and the season finale to establish how far Nandor would go and soften himself up (change) if it was for Guillermo’s sake, he’s never been that tender and considerate, ever with Guillermo,

and you could say at that point it could be because they were “equals” as vampires but Nandor knew what he would choose — the focus on his hands when he’s personally dressing guillermo (pride and prejudice hand flex, dont @ me). "don't be nervous we've all been through it" (gentle). "nothing you cannot handle" (encouraging). Making up an intricate ritual so that he wouldn’t feel pressured or stressed or shamed. "you wanna be a human, there's no shame in that". (These vampires clown on EVERYONE) "we're gonna make it happen". "you want me to do it?". "I don't know" "I do". Keeping Guillermo's old or spare glasses in his pocket like it was something he came across while he was destroying Guillermo’s things like some lover scorned and he saved it like it was some keepsake. “I'm sorry, Guillermo. That was the only way for you to figure out what you actually wanted”. The hand on his shoulder to comfort him and the patting. “It was a horrible and hard decision. I think you made the right choice.” (Nandor himself would have killed derek in a heartbeat if it was his decision to return to being a human, but he still spared Guillermo’s feelings because he knows how hard it was for Guillermo. Since when is Nandor considerate about another person’s feelings? Guillermo is special.)

He was so very unexpectedly gentle and he’s never ever been that way and I am still in shock about his honesty and the effort he’s put into helping. This was the biggest gift he could have given Guillermo, not the vampirism, but a way out of it when he didnt want it anymore, a choice. And he wouldnt have done that if he didnt deeply care for Guillermo —

And with that, we’re almost out of the toxicity zone into a yet new dynamic with them, one that isn’t about who’s dominant and who’s submissive, but them finally being able to stand on equal ground, if Guillermo isn’t asking for vampirism from Nandor anymore and isn’t implicitly going back to being his familiar.

If they’re going towards a romantic relationship, this was an important border to cross and a topic finally handled the way it needs to be addressed. The one thing that’s causing a chain of command in their relationship is gone. And anything can happen. Anything.

I don’t believe that line about cleaning up Derek’s body was meant to imply Guillermo was back to being a familiar for Nandor and that we are back to square one. His phrasing was extremely polite — “Now if you wouldn’t mind cleaning up Derek’s corpse before sunrise that would be great”. That’s not an order. Derek is Guillermo’s mess, so he has to handle it himself, it’s like saying “I’ve done all this and I even killed him for you, and the rest is yours to deal with,” — it’s like saying “I cooked, you do the dishes”, and Nandor is giving him space to deal with his decision, hell, he didn’t even tell Guillermo to clean everything else like he normally would, now that would suggest back to the status quo.

Season 5 was fucking HUGE for nandermo and all of guillermo’s dynamics with everyone. It still feels like a fever dream to be honest. They really went and got rid of what was clogging up the progress of their relationship. They’re just. Happening naturally. It’s a slowburn if it’s meant to happen eventually and the writers are being really careful with doing things in the right way for it to not become toxic.

You just gotta have some faith in the team and wait for it.

In conclusion: Yes fucked up relationships are fun. until it’s canon and people are making discourse on the internet about how abusive it really is when it could have been handled better. The ross and rachel-ification of nandermo is the last thing we need.

There’s definitely things I’ve missed because im purely making this post on mobile and it’s not as coherent as I’d like it to be, if I have, please don’t hesitate to tell me.

[darkshrimpemotions]

Paul Simms, epic troll, months ago: I mean...that's his boss.

Every season 6 promo and interview: So Guillermo has a new job and Nandor is no longer his boss...

[flash-bastardd]

"I'm sorry, whose funeral?"

"Guillermo's."

"What...? Guillermo...died?"

"Probably a couple decades ago now."

"H-How?"

"Old age I think is what he called it."

Nandor still decides to go into super slumber, too bad it's the biggest mistake of his life.

{Or where vampires greatly overestimate the life expectancy of humans}

I have written pain

[sumendi-blog]

Ok, ok, Nandermo is over

Can Guillermo have, PLEASE, a vampire slayer boyfriend? I can't see him dating a normal human...and the homoeretic fights that this will result by Guillermo protecting his vampires while thinking "DAMN he's good...focus, Guillermo!"

Maybe I'm the one that needs to focus....

[leporidaecervinae]

wrote 3k plot set up for this absolutely narsty (affectionate) human!au workplace affair where guillermo is nandor's assistant/secretary and fucking hates his job and his life and hates Nandor's managerial style but finds mind-blowing fulfilment in going to a kink club for the first time in his virginous life and getting his little freak world absolutely rocked by... well... I'll leave that for the fic 😌 just know I've got a list of 29 kinks and counting I'm aiming to write for this beastie

[chiimeraangel]

Patton Oswalt is so good as the narrator for The Goldbergs

[sumendi-blog]

I wouldn't mind ace!Guillermo at all, is just that after watching the videos of Harvey speaking about their relationship, he was more like "males can be friends too and love each other" like Paul said "a profound relationship" but not a romantic one. He even calls nandermo "a beautiful friendship"...

Also, Nandor not having sex? I doubt it, it's true that almost all his past relationships had been based on sex, 0 chemistry or emotional connection (Jan and Gail) but I just can't see him not fucking

I really think that this was a bad case of shipbaiting and defending "two males can be close and not romantically involved" case

So I would like to have a little conversation about ace Guillermo.

A little calm and respectful debate like I know this amazing wwdits Fandom will be able to do.

Disclaimer: I have a very little knowledge about asexuality, I'm very ignorant and if I say something that offends you it's not my intent and please educate me.

So

Why I think nandermo shippers (including me) is so vocal about wanting guillermo and Nandor to fuck: simply because wwdits it's the "everybody fucks and sucks" show. They are all vampires, they all fuck multiple times per day, they have a meaningful love confession and half a second later they are already kissing and groping each other.

I think having Nandor, at least, (because we know he is 100% not ace) not even hinting to wanting to have sex is problematic because that would mean the writers didn't have the gut to say "look it's a gay romantic slow burn relationship" and not the straight platonic friendship bromance many straight people think it is.

Now, would I hate ace Guillermo? Absolutely not. But if they decide to play it that way they need to be very VERY good at writing it.

If they decide to have ace Guillermo I want to see them having a conversation about it. I want to see Nandor being in love and sexually attracted by guillermo, and guillermo gently explaining why he doesn't want to and Nandor understanding it.

I don't want the ambiguity. I want them to be together without any doubt so nobody could pull out the boss/employee or even worse father/son relationship.

That's all, please feel free to answer and debate with be about this :)

[nic-coughlan]

"so i've watched your search for love, this one, that one, your dead wife, guillermo's boyfriend, gail. i mean basically anyone and everyone who wasn't me and i've seen after you won their hearts, it all falls apart. because you're all about the conquest, not the victory. you're a good friend, but you will never have me. ever."

"i said you'll never have me. i have a little self-respect. a little bit."

i'm sorry i can't hear you over my fucking gratitude to the guide and my nandermo heart fluttering even harder.

[thebennsofdallas]

In defense of Season 6 (What we do in the Shadows)

I’ve seen talk about season 6.  How people are disappointed. How the writers have blown it, how Guillermo and Nandor are in so few scenes together, how canon has been thrown by the wayside.

So, I have to gently disagree. I think this is the best season of the series and that’s coming from a full-on Nandermo truther (with Laszlermo tendencies). I think this season HAS moved Guillermo and Nandor’s story forward. But it’s so much more than that. These 8 episodes have connected all the vampires in ways I never expected.

Think of all we learned about the vampires in just the first episode. Guillermo and Nandor apparently made an agreement to stay away from each other until Guillermo got his life together. (UNTIL. Keep that in mind.) Nandor obviously didn’t give a fuck about that and has been keeping tabs on him in secret. How else can he be so matter-of-fact about being separated from Guillermo and also, know where he was working?

Nadja has longed to interact more with humans and Laszlo forbade it, which caused a massive rift between them that lasted years. Man of science Laszlo had a dream to reanimate life out of dead tissue that he gave up on in favor of spending more time wanking. And Colin Robinson has been lonely for a real friend, even one made out of random body parts.

That’s a lot of stuff there, good stuff. Yes, we briefly had to deal with the prospect of Jerry destroying our show (okay, that was probably just me) but it turns out, Jerry was just a vehicle to reveal more about our beloved characters (I think Jerry will be a factor in the finale but that’s another story). The same with Guillermo’s departure from the vampires’ employ. It was barely a separation. Nadja and Nandor felt compelled to follow Guillermo all the way to his office, to “protect him”. And Laszlo restarted his project to create new life and allowed Colin Robinson to join in.

The writers are mixing and matching the cast in a way they’ve never done before. Nandor/Nadja, Laszlo/Colin, Colin/Nadja, Laszlo/Nandor. It’s a fresh spin on the old dynamic and it’s hilarious. And it demonstrates how much these four care about each other and that feels new, too.

As for Nandor and Guillermo, it might feel like they aren’t together as much but when they are together, it packs a punch. Except for the beginning of episode one, when Nandor childishly pretends like he doesn’t remember Guillermo, there’s been no more pretense. Guillermo has always worn his heart on his sleeve where Nandor is concerned but now, Nandor is wearing his there, too and it’s exciting to see our suspicions confirmed in a big, big way — these two idiots love each other and it’s just a matter of time before they have to acknowledge it. I don’t expect a vampire wedding in the future but something is coming. I just know it.

Episode 9 tomorrow, y’all. Episode 9 is where this show usually goes off the rails and into a ditch. So hold on. It’s gonna be a bumpy night.

[ineffably-human]

We're going to scream about Nandermo all week, but right now I need to talk about Baron Afanas. Because the Baron's arc, so to speak, always felt like a big part of the series DNA for me - and oh fuck did this episode deliver on why.

I think we can agree: in the show, vampire society is fucked up, right?

Vampires on their own have plenty to deal with that can make them crazy. They have to live by killing. They lose everyone from their old lives. They have to find new reasons to keep going on, forever, so shit can get decadent really fast.

But holy shit, what that's turned into in vampire society? Where you actively put cruelty over mercy, and violence over solving your problems? Death cults and scam artists roam free, but if someone has depression the best thing to do is ignore them. Someone can get their mind wiped or be locked up for centuries, and that's just what you do to your species.

--

So: the Baron's arrival is the first conflict of the whole show. The joke is about an ancient powerful creature of pants-shitting terror, vs three lesser vampires who just want to live their lives and not get murdered for being too lazy to conquer humanity. There's a lot of talk about how to please him: do you keep to the old ways, or pick up some new traditions? Decorate with flayed skin, or with glitter? And the Baron says: who cares, you're all soft and useless. All that matters is getting more control over this world, until people are cattle and we have no reason to hide anymore.

But later he confesses: that shit stopped mattering ages ago. He's not even real nobility, he's literally impotent, and he talks about doing horrible things because he doesn't know what else to say. He's angry and half-crazy from boredom. And admitting that, owning those feelings, means suddenly he has three new friends and a whole new world of things to enjoy.

There's the Baron the rest of the vampire world knows, but for one night we see the ancient, unknowable terror was just a guy. Maybe he's always been just some guy.

That fun puts him in a vulnerable position, and he's killed by the most unwitting vampire slayer in fiction. But Baron Afanas is changed. He sucks dirt for a year and still comes out of it with a new lightness and joy to him. He saves the Sire, another ancient terrifying monster everyone was eager to kill or send away. They adopt the hellhound. They get cozy and give advice. They make popsicle stick houses and go on walks. They live.

And that seemed like the end of the story until last night - when the Baron suddenly felt like the butt of a joke everyone knew but him. Spurred on by someone else who feels lonely and ignored, the Baron felt vulnerable. And he snapped back to how he lived for centuries.

'What the hell are you all doing, enjoying yourselves? We're supposed to be unhappy. We're supposed to live centuries of unhappiness, bringing pain to everyone in our path, and we're definitely not supposed to cheer up our friend who's sad.'

--

Nobody liked the Baron before Guillermo killed him, not even other powerful vampires we meet; they saw the Baron as a crazy far beyond their own crazy. But this is also how vampire society values you. It's how they measure Nandor's worth when they think he's dead, too: how old and powerful you are, how much you've been able to conquer and kill.

Vampire pods are both cliquish and aren't expected to last in the first place. If someone dies, you literally paint them out of your lives and forget. Everything we see discourages feelings, sincerity, or even basic companionship. The only way to earn respect is to be cruel. The more cruel you are, the more powerful you are. The more powerful you are, the more feared you are - the lonelier you are, the crazier you are. It's practically designed to create the Baron, or worse.

But new vampires don't behave that way. And the vampires we follow in the show don't behave that way - because they have each other, because they've been encouraged to have each other, often by Guillermo. (Holy shit, Nadja saying maybe she'd be fine dying, and Nandor immediately asking if she's okay? Nothing changes in this house, except everything does. They're not going to almost lose one of their own ever again.)

The vampires in the heart of vampire culture never seem happy to be like this. It doesn't have to be like this.

--

The Baron doesn't become a tyrannical monster for long. Because he never actually was one - and because he spends two evenings and a fireball to the face, watching Nandor and Nadja fight for Guillermo. Watching them plead and cling and defy, seeing Guillermo's earnest feelings in spite of his bloodline and the mistakes he's made. Seeing Nandor's perfect trust, and then his grief, the way he insists that Guillermo was never 'just' anything. The Baron can't find real fulfillment in hurting someone (because that ship sailed ages ago). He can't deride them for caring, because he's cared for a long time now.

And when the Baron admits that's who he is, when he says it out loud, he only gains more in his life. He finds new depth in the happiness he'd felt for a while now, because he's admitted and allowed himself to be happy. And now he has the children he's always wanted. Living together, the Baron and the Sire are still ancient and powerful - and they're also family, finding real joy together in a world that was ready to dispose of them.

"I suppose with the right company, it can be beautiful, this eternal existence."

--

There's an inherent selfishness to being a vampire, taking from someone else in order to live. But there doesn't have to be inherent cruelty, or lack of love.

They're all ready to admit they care. The Staten vampires have all cared for Guillermo or each other in their own ways this season. And Guillermo doesn't lack for flaws, but loving his monster family has never been one of them. (When he and Nandor work their shit out, they're gonna be insufferable.)

Now they just have to let the Guide in. Because she's absolutely starved for love, and vampires get pretty fucked up when they're on their own.

[sumendi-blog]

I just think that Guillermo will have his sexy time, just not with Nandor.

The nasty thing is that in the Vulture interview, Jeremy hinted that the "they-will-they-wont" relationships are "the gold goose" that must be in the show till the very end.

So, on one hand, Paul detests Nandermo, but is going to have the shiptease till the end because $$$. But, in the other hand, S6 will be centered on Guillermo, and his repressed sexual desires are something it SHOULD be treated for once! Pleeeeease!!!! Just don't bring a love interest for Guillermo while continuing the shiptease

i wasn't going to make a post about this because i want to give the wwdits fx team the benefit of the doubt but. here we go! now that not one but two writers, paul simms and stefani robinson, have claimed nandor and guillermo's relationship is "more than sexual," i think we need to talk about this. because this is a fucking problem.

and now, stefani robinson has said the same thing:

this is literally just homophobia. from most other shows this would be kind of expected, but with the show that literally won awards for being queer and unabashedly sexual, it stings. a lot! the idea that guillermo and nandor's relationship would be lessened somehow by sexual desire is homophobia. especially when laszlo and nadja's relationship isn't seen as less-than just because they fuck a lot. in the season four promo, nadja almost cums from sitting on a speaker, but the writers are afraid of making guillermo desirable. this is infuriating.

like, saying it's "bigger and deeper and more profound than mere sex that you mortals engage in" would be fine for a vampire drama that hadn't already established vampires as overtly and specifically sexual in pretty much every way they could. there was an orgy episode in SEASON ONE that included bdsm and overt queerness to the point that it has been praised for how well it was handled.

they've also confirmed guillermo's feelings for nandor, most notably in the cloak of duplication when meg told guillermo-as-nandor to be honest about his feelings, so why the fuck is he allowed to have those feelings but not sexual ones? why is everyone in the show allowed to be overtly sexual except the queer fat person of color? after putting so much faith in this show and being so happy with how they've handled queerness up to this point, this is INCREDIBLY disappointing.

and if you're pissed off too and have twitter, please flood the replies to the social media account @/theshadowsfx complaining about this :) the twitter is very responsive to fans normally so they'll definitely see it. this is absurd.