#but my sister and her husband were in my dream for a short period of time

[imaushi-ji]

I think the anxiety of living is catching up to me

[roseofdarknessblog]

Family gathering (Postwar!Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Word count: 3 140

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

Summary: You and Levi finally introduce your baby to the rest of the family.

This story can be read on its own or as a part of my little post-war series: Learn to live again

Family gathering

Being back in the tea shop after giving birth felt even better than you expected. Even if you only came to visit Levi for short periods of time. But it was enough time to make sure that he really had everything under control even without your help. At least for a couple more weeks.

Being new parents wasn't easy, not even the slightest, but you were adjusting. Learning every single day, that having a tiny little human living under your roof was about changing or adjusting one too many things.

Despite that, Levi and you couldn't be happier. In your newborn daughter, you saw the reason why you fought so hard all those years. She truly was a beautiful representation of the future you wanted humanity to have.

„I think they know something is up,“ Falco said, when he walked into the kitchen, that was at the back of the tea shop. Here, you used to bake many of your sweet and savory goods, which were then sold alongside the best tea in the whole town.

„Yeah, probably. But that's fine, something really is up,“ you said, smiling at the boy.

Until now, only he, Gabi, Onyankopon, and Yelena knew about the little Ackerman baby you and Levi welcomed into this world seven weeks ago. Nobody else from your friends knew you gave birth, or even that you were pregnant in the first place. You and Levi decided, that it would be better not to tell anyone and let things unfold on their own.

However, now it was finally time to introduce your precious little miracle to the rest of your family. To all your beloved friends, who fought alongside you these past few years. To the people, who helped you create a safe world to bring your daughter into.

„Is everybody here already?“

Falco nodded, gently taking your daughter's hand. She loved him so much and lately always smiled when they were together. „Yeah, they're talking, having tea and sweets but you can definitely tell they suspect something. Mainly because you're not there.“

„I think we should go see them, right?“ you asked your daughter in a sweet voice, stroking her chubby little cheeks. In some way, they very much reminded you of Levi's. Just like her silky black hair, her blue-grey eyes, or her cute little nose. She was the sweetest little copy of your husband in the cutest ways possible. „You're gonna love them, darling. And they're gonna love you.“

When the little girl looked at Falco and smiled, both of you smiled right back at her with so much love. The boy truly loved her as if she was his little sister.

„Hey, Y/N! Come and join us finally!“ Jean screamed for you from the tea shop, making you chuckle and kiss the top of your daughter's head, who tried grabbing the collar of your shirt.

„I'm coming, settle down. All of you!“ you called back, taking one last deep breath. Falco walked back to the shop before you, giving you one more moment alone.

The moment felt almost surreal. Holding your baby and getting ready to introduce her to so many important people. Not even that long ago, you would never even dream about doing something so magical.

„Now, I have a very special surprise for all of you. Can you close your eyes?“ you asked them before opening the door.

When you walked into the main part of the shop, everyone was there – Armin, Connie, Jean and Mikasa. Even Reiner, Annie, and Pieck came, along with Gabi, Yelena, and Onyankopon who didn't even need to close their eyes. Together with Falco and your husband, who was smiling at you ever so slightly.

„What do you think? What is this big surprise?“ you asked them excitedly. But before anybody said a word, your daughter let out a loud cry to get everyone's attention, before she smiled up at you. Almost as if she knew what was happening. „Okay, I guess it's not a surprise anymore. Open your eyes,“ you said, smiling happily at them.

The awe on everyone's face was so worth keeping this whole thing private until now. Connie and Armin looked at you as if they'd never seen a baby in their life before. But that was probably because of their last visit when you were five months along and still barely showing. Under the right pieces of clothing, they had zero chance of noticing anything. And now, half a year later, you were standing in front of them with a baby in your arms.

„So... we called you all here today, because we wanted you to meet someone very special,“ you said, looking over at Levi. With a slightly pained expression, he stood up from his wheelchair and walked a few steps to stand next to you. „She'll be two months old in a couple of days. I hope you can forgive us that we kept such a big thing a secret until now. It was...“

„We wanted to make sure everything will turn out okay,“ Levi said when you couldn't find the right words. „And then we wanted to soak up every little moment with her. Just the three of us,“ he added, wrapping one of his arms around your waist. It was a gesture full of love and also a way to help him stand more securely because of his leg.

It almost seemed that everybody was too shocked to speak. The first one to stand up and come up to you was Jean. He smiled, looking at both you and Levi. Then his soft light-brown eyes wandered to your baby, looking her over very carefully. He offered her one of his fingers, which the little girl took with such excitement, seeming happy that she was seeing a new face.

„She's beautiful, Captain, Y/N,“ he said proudly and with a happy smile.

„Oi, where did you get that baby, Y/N? When me and Armin were here a few months back, you surely weren't pregnant,“ Connie shouted, hurrying to you as well.

„I can assure you, that I was pregnant at the time. Five months pregnant, to be more specific. I just hid it too well,“ you chuckled, stroking your baby's hair. Her eyes were wide open with curiosity while her tiny hands were playing with Jean's fingers.

„Was she, Captain?“ Connie asked Levi, not wanting to believe you.

„Where do you think we got a baby that looks like me if she didn't give birth to it?“ Levi questioned him, his brows furrowed. He may looked annoyed with all the commotion, but by the tone of his voice, it was obvious, that he was enjoying having them all here.

„She really does look like you, Captain,“ Armin said, coming to stand between Jean and Connie.

Behind him, Mikasa followed a little shily. You gave her a warm smile and motioned to her, to come even closer. „Would you like to hold her? You're blood-related, after all,“ you said to her, looking over at Levi, who nodded at your words.

She seemed a little hesitant but eventually nodded in agreement. After showing her, how to safely hold the baby, she took her from you and carefully cradled your daughter against her chest. The little girl looked confused when she first looked up at Mikasa, but after she grabbed a strand of her hair everything was okay.

„She's adorable, congratulations to you both,“ Mikasa said, smiling at both you and Levi warmly. You've barely seen her since the Rumbling, because she went back to Paradis, so her presence right now was even more precious. „What's her name?“

You knew this question would come. And you were preparing yourself to answer it without too much emotion. But suddenly... when they were all here, standing around you and waiting for your answer... it felt almost impossible to explain the meaning of your daughter's name without making everybody way too emotional.

She got her name after a person, who was very dear to you and Levi. And to all of the 104th as well. It was a person, who was supposed to be here today with all of you as well. And also the person, thanks to who you got one more chance to fight the Rumbling and win.

„We named her after Hange,“ Levi said in a calm voice, seeing you struggling a little. „Zoe. Zoe Ackerman.“

„The meaning of her name is... life,“ you added in a quiet voice, reaching out your hand and stroking your baby's back. „I guess it's more than fitting, don't you think?“ Feeling your eyes welling up with tears, you looked at your friends. A wild range of emotions was seen on their faces – sadness, surprise, and also happiness.

Armin was the first one to speak up, leaning closer to Mikasa and taking the baby's hand, shaking it very gently. Such a sweet gesture made all of you chuckle. „It's more than fitting,“ he smiled at her warmly. „Nice to meet you, Zoe. I'm sure we'll be very good friends once you grow up a little.“

The sweet tone in which Armin talked to your baby melted your heart completely. Feeling unimaginable happiness, you looked over at Levi and kissed his cheek. The way he was watching the scene right in front of you, was more than beautiful. His expression was relaxed, almost completely pain-free. The look in his eyes was soft and loving towards all the people standing around you and introducing themselves to your baby in the funniest, yet most adorable way possible. She was all smiles, while she was looking around and taking in all the new people.

So despite looking so much like Levi, she surely didn't get her personality from him.

Connie was the one, who made her the most excited. Mainly, when he held her in a way that she was able to pull Jean's hair. But he truly couldn't be angry with her for even a second.

„Hey, you three. Come on, don't be shy,“ you said to Reiner, Annie, and Pieck who were still standing a little to the side, only watching the others happily fuss around your baby, who was making a lot of loud excited noises.

Once they were your enemies, they wanted you dead. Now they were here amongst your closest friends and family. In a way, you forgave them for almost everything. After having a couple of difficult talks, mainly with Reiner, you gained a new perspective of them all. And through that, things between you and them started changing. Gabi and Falco also helped a bunch, too.

„It's okay, we wanted you here and we're happy that you came,“ you said to them, stroking Reiner's arm and smiling at the girls.

„In a twisted kind of way, but we're all here thanks to you, too,“ Levi said to them, his grip around your waist tightening. His knee was starting to trouble him after standing by your side for a few minutes.

So after you made sure, that your baby was truly in good hands, you helped Levi walk outside the tea shop and sit down on a bench right next to the door. A heavy sigh escaped his mouth when he finally sat down and took the weight off his left leg.

„Good? Are you okay?“ you asked a bit worriedly, sitting down next to him. While your left hand started rubbing his back comfortingly, you leaned closer and kissed his cheek.

„Yeah, sure,“ he mumbled, taking a couple of deep breaths to ease the pain.

„It went well, didn't it? They were all so surprised and happy,“ you chuckled, resting your head against his. The voices and laughter from inside were heard pretty clearly, so you didn't have to worry. „And right now, they have probably a couple of minutes before she starts crying. Either because she'll be hungry or because she won't be able to find us.“

Levi smirked, wrapping his arm around your waist again, to keep you close. Despite the pain, he still seemed relaxed and content with the way today turned out. Everybody's reaction made it certain, that you and Levi did the best thing when you kept your pregnancy private.

„It's all so bittersweet. Having so many of them here and still missing a bunch of people,“ Levi said, his fingers gently stroking your side.

„They are here with us. In a different kind of way, but still.“

You could see all of your fallen friends and comrades in your baby's eyes and in her every smile. All the things they did and for what they sacrificed their lives, made it possible for little Zoe to be born. You and Levi were grateful to them every single day. For their bravery, resilience, and determination to make the world a better place.

Hange, Erwin, Sasha, Miche, Nanaba, Nifa, Furlan, Isabel, Moblit, Petra, Eld, Oluo, Gunther... Eren...

All of them and many, many more gave their lives a long time ago, so you and your friends could have this life. In one way or another. Looking back, there probably wasn't a way to save them. To spare them from death. All you could do was continue living your best life and honor them by being happy.

„Who would have thought, really? That we would make it here all the way from the Underground,“ you sighed, running your fingers through Levi's hair lovingly.

„We made it far, that's true. And...“ he shrugged, smirking at his own words, „I'm kind of excited to see what's next, now that we have our little girl. She's going to turn our lives upside down so many times.“

„That's what parenthood is about, right?“ you chuckled, grabbing his free hand and holding it tight. „We're doing good. Learning and making mistakes. I'm so glad that everything worked out in the end and that we have her.“ Having a baby was an adventure like no other. In the end, all the sleepless nights were worth it, when you saw your little angel smile at you, with her eyes full of innocence and pure love.

„Just wait until she starts walking and running around. That's gonna be a disaster.“

„We'll just have to keep up with her.“ You gently took Levi's chin and turned his head, so you could see his face.

He was still very handsome, no scars or a missing eye could change that. For you, he was the one and only. Since you were a teenager to this very day. All those years, it was Levi. And you were more than sure, that it would stay like this for the rest of your life. Nothing and nobody would be able to change your mind, because Levi was all you'll ever need – with all of his disabilities, which sometimes still made him feel a little self-conscious or worried, that he wasn't good enough for you. He was more than enough and you never failed to remind him that. A day never went by without you reminding him, just how thankful you were for his love and his presence in your life.

„I love you,“ Levi said, leaning in for a kiss. His soft lips pressed against yours, making you forget about everything else.

„That's really good to know because I love you too.“ With a smile, you brushed a few strands of hair from his forehead and kissed the tip of his nose. „I'm proud to call you mine and be yours.“

His sweet little smile had a very strong effect on you every single time you got the chance to see it. Mainly, when said smile reached his eyes and made him look so carefree and young. Seeing him like that, nobody would be able to tell how many horrors he had to suffer through.

Levi rested his forehead against yours, reaching for your left hand. He brushed his thumb over your wedding band, finding your lips in another sweet and love-filled kiss. Time seemed to stop around you at that moment.

But only until you heard a loud cry from inside the tea shop. Just moments later, Connie hurried outside, eagerly trying to return your baby into your arms. „Guess she doesn't like when someone pinches her cheeks. But they're so adorable and chubby, I couldn't resist.“

„They remind me of someone else's cheeks,“ Mikasa added, standing in the open door, her eyes focused on Levi with a playful smirk. You bit down on your lower lip, trying not to laugh, while Connie was grinning so hard, he had to turn away.

Levi, a little flustered, shook his head upon them and took his crying daughter into his arms. You watched him gently cradle her against his chest, planting a couple of kisses on the top of her head, while he rubbed her back.

„The brats made you cry, huh? Don't worry, you'll get used to them,“ he said to the baby, looking back at Connie. „And you'll have them wrapped around your finger in no time,“ Levi added and kissed her forehead in the hopes of stopping her from crying more. But little Zoe knew exactly what she wanted and cried until Levi didn't hide her in his embrace from the rest of the world, while he lovingly started scratching the back of her head. Lately, this has become the most efficient way to calm her down.  „There, sweetie. That's better, right? No need to cry.“

Connie chuckled at the sight. „Well, Captain. Seems you're already wrapped around her finger. I've never heard you talk so sweetly to anyone, not even to Y/N.“

Jean and Armin came to stand by Mikasa, all of them watching the sweet sight of Humanity's Strongest being a completely different person when it came to his own daughter. All of them changed so much during the past few years. But when you looked at them in that moment, you still saw the kids they were, when they joined the Scouts. The kids you grew to love and swore to protect. The kids, who became your family long before such a peaceful life was even a possibility for all of you.

What a shame not all of them made it this far.

Not having Sasha and Eren here felt strange and painful. It felt like you failed a little. But just until you looked back at your daughter. Her cheeks were still wet from tears, while she was so adorably clinging to Levi. In her still teary eyes, you saw Sasha's dedication and Eren's bravery.

And that was what mattered the most.

Having your family here with you and showing them just how much they meant to you. How much you loved them and how happy it made you, that they came here today to meet little Zoe Ackerman.

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

School starts here August 15th. Seems like it just starts earlier & earlier. I've already having dreams about going back to work. The 25th is when I'm schedule.. if they push it back again I'm going to have to tell them to wait until December period by that time the operation will have been pushed back an entire year..

I guess I used up all my nerves the first time around because I don't seem near as nervous this time I just want to get it over with.

The school already sent us our list of about 50 videos that we have to watch and take quizzes over. Every year it's just about the same thing. This year they added a video on head lice. Lol

Luckily I have seen these videos 7 years running now, and I can pretty much answer the questions without paying a whole lot of attention to the videos. Which is good because some of those videos are so triggering.

We watch videos about active shooters, teen suicide, trauma and children, different forms of abuse and how to spot it, and of course all that does is serve to remind me that when I was a kid I was abused and nobody had a freaking clue about it. I'm sure I exhibited all the science we're supposed to look for but it was a 70s and nobody cared back then.

We are back to our 110° days which are going to continue until the end of the week. It hasn't been a bad summer --- I have gotten tons of rest and have watched lots of movies and red lots of books. But them rescheduling that surgery without a doubt ruined any plans I had of doing anything this summer.

By the time I am healed up it will be time or past time to go back to work.

Ah well.

I was able to get in touch with a fellow teacher who had been having some severe vision problems of her own and went as far as Los Angeles to get them fixed. She is facing two more procedures in El Paso and then she will be back at work

and I cannot wait to see her. I have been so worried about her and I've been praying for when I can remember. You're so many people that I need to pray for that I can't always remember all of them. But I am so glad she is going to be okay.

I dreamed about Chris last night. It was a short dream. I dreamed I was back in Corpus Christi looking for one of the first Apartments I ever had. And then I was in the living room with him my husband and someone else and we are watching movies and looking at all the movie posters that I used to have when I worked at the theater. Among those movie posters I had posters of Davey havoc and we were supposed to be watching a movie that he was in. And that was the whole dream. I dreamed about my sister Tony, I dream about her and her husband a whole lot. And of course I dreamed about work.

[beardeddetectivepaper]

$185,110/$250,000

Hi world , it’s Rabeha Please read this as if I'm a member of your family . maybe your sister, daughter or a friend and as if my family who's under death now is yours. My name is Rabeha. A fresh graduate Dentist from Gaza, a fresh Dentist who was supposed to start her career and achieve the dreams she worked for but found herself losing the city she’s living in and losing any hope of a better future with it . And after a whole 6 years of studying and internship, the war had another idea

This was a big shock not only to me, but mostly to my mom who lost her all brothers, sisters and their families in a blink of an eye, my mom who lost her husband (my dad) 12 years ago when she was only in her 30s and found herself with 7 children who need to be raised and cared of,, she’s now living the sadness she experienced 12 years ago, but now the sadness of losing not only one but 27 of her loved ones, losing her whole family. Her life got destroyed again in a worse way

My loss didn’t end here, because to us Gazans, death knocks our door every single day, every new day under war is a possibility of a new loss In the 17th of December 2023, I lost another two cousins from my dad’s family with their husbands and all children who are still under the rubble till now, this shock after two months of losing my mom family was a big slap into my face, it was a harsh reminder that death didn’t stop, and that none of us is an exception in this genocide, not a woman nor a child, everyone of us is a target to the death machines above our heads This loss circle didn’t end here, cause after more than 5 times of being displaced and having to leave our house escaping from rockets and death, we returned to our house and found it almost wiped off, more than half if it was destroyed and became an unlivable place leaving us not only with tired hearts but also without a place to stay in

I introduced myself at first as a Gazan Dentist with dreams, a girl in her twenties who had career plans and goals to achieve, a human who lost a lot in a short time period. But in this war I’m most importantly a big sister who see her siblings’ future getting lost in front of her eyes, as i see my brothers who didn’t finish their university’s and my sisters who are still young and supposed to be in school, my mom and my only uncle now who found themselves forced to start from zero while they were supposed to take breath and retire after raising their children and having a stable life ,as I see them, I made it a mission to myself to save my family or who’s left alive from it, to save their future from all of this and to escape Gaza. I still only have my uncle and his family left alive beside my mom, sisters and brothers from my whole extended family, and before losing another one of them, I intend to evacuate my family of 23 members from Gaza: * Me, my mom, my 6 siblings and my brother and 3 sisters from my dad ( Lina, Ahmad, Mohammed, Yara, Sara, Dana, Alaa, Ruba, Osama and Rahaf) and my aunt Olfat * My uncle (dad’s brother), his wife, his son Hammam and his 5 daughters (Jomana, Farah, Banan, Heba and Hadeel) * My grandfather and grandmother

The situation after almost 7 months of this genocide is that Gaza’s borders are unfortunately still closed and no one can get out of it, of course unless you pay the biggest amount of money to save your life and to cross Rafah border to get to Egypt, crossing Rafah border costs around 7000 to 9000 dollars for each person and as a family of 23 persons, the amount of money we have to pay just to get to Egypt seems impossible to afford So here is How money will be spent: * paying around 7000 US Dollars to every member of my 23-member family to cross Rafah border and get safely to Egypt * Around 6000$ covering GoFundMe transaction fees (2.9% + 0.30$ per transaction) * The rest of the money will be for housing, food & etc. for a period of time in Egypt

Asking for your help is the only way I have to rescue my family’s life and future, your help may become our hope when hope is far away from us under these conditions, every dollar you can help with may save a life, bring hope to a tired heart and save a future of a youth one Please don’t read this as a tragedy story ,, I’m here to ask you to prevent it from getting more tragedy and to help us start our life all over again. I’m here to ask for your help not your sympathy , to ask you to take action whether by donating or by sharing this to everyone you know who can help, please read this with your heart and take action as if it’s your family, your mom, your siblings who are under these conditions

[readingforsanity]

Dreamland | Nicholas Sparks | Published 2022 | *SPOILERS*

Colby Mills once felt destined for a musical career, until tragedy grounded his aspirations. Now the head of a small family farm in North Carolina, he spontaneously takes a gig playing at a bar in St. Pete’s Beach, Florida, seeking a rare break from his duties at home. 

But when he meets Morgan Lee, his world is turned upside down, making him wonder if the responsibilities he has shouldered need dictate his life forever. The daughter of affluent Chicago doctors, Morgan has graduated from a prestigious college music program with the ambition to move to Nashville and become a star. Romantically and musically, she and Colby complete each other in a way that neither has ever known. 

While they are falling headlong in love, Beverly is on a heartpounding journey of another kind. Fleeing an abusive husband with her six-year-old son, she is trying to piece together a life for them in a small town far off the beaten track. With money running out and danger seemingly around every corner, she makes a desperate decision that will rewrite everything she knows to be true. 

In the course of a single unforgettable week, two young people will navigate the exhilarating heights and heartbreak of first love. Hundreds of miles away, Beverly will put her love for her young son to the test. And fate will draw all three people together in a web of life-altering connections..forcing each to wonder whether the dream of a better life can ever survive the weight of the past. 

Nicholas Sparks is likely my favorite author. I spend months waiting for his new releases to come out, and am usually out to purchase the first day they’re available. I swear, one of these days, I’m going to buy a signed copy of his book. 

Like any other book, it starts with introductions of the main characters. In this story, we have Colby and Beverly. Two halves of one story, ultimately. Colby is a young, 25-year-old musician, playing ahows at a beach bar in Florida when we first meet him. There, he meets 21-year-old Morgan, a musician with equal aspirations as him. Together, they embark on an amazing love story. Much like most of Nicholas Sparks’ novels, boy and girl meet and fall in love in a short period of time. 

Beverly is a young mother attempting to escape the confines of an abusive husband with her 6-year-old son, Tommie. She becomes increasingly paranoid over time, realizing that her attempt to escape truly ended up not working and that her husband was going to eventually find them. 

Right before Morgan is meant to depart Florida, Colby gets a call that his aunt, whom he works with on the family farm, had a stroke and he’s been unable to get in touch with his sister and nobody has known where she was. Throughout his portions of the story, it’s alluded that there is something about Paige that he isn’t sharing with Morgan. 

We find out what that is. Beverly and Paige are one in the same. And Paige isn’t really trying to get away from an abusive husband with her son. Paige has bipolar disorder, Bipolar 1 to be exact. Everything we’ve read about her ended up being part of her manic delusions that she’s experiencing as a result of their aunt’s stroke and missing doses of her medication that kept those delusions at bay. Colby rushes home, only to find that his sister had attempted suicide in their home. Morgan follows him after a few days, and Colby shares the truth about his sister’s diagnosis. And that while her husband and son were real, that they had unfortunately passed six years before in a car accident. 

In the end, Colby decides to send Morgan on her way to Nashville where she’d chase her dreams of becoming a singer/songwriter, which she ends up doing and becomes famous pretty quickly. They keep in touch but unfortunately over time, they begin speaking less and less as Morgan’s responsibilities double and things around the farm try to get back to normal. 

At the end of the story, Colby and Paige are beginning to get back to nromal, and despite her stroke, their aunt is back working on the farm basically back to normal herself. Morgan shows up, decides that their break up never happened, and Colby goes along with it, deciding that long-distance is exactly what he wants with Morgan despite his earlier sentiments that it wouldn’t work out. 

This story was tragic, much like his other novels, but in the end, boy and girl end up together, much like his other novels as well. I enjoyed the fact that he included mental illness, something that has become more prevalent in this day and age, especially after during and after the COVID pandemic. 5 out of 5 stars. 

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

Updated 24/6/2021

∞ Oneshots/Scenarios

Trying to wake him but only to be cuddled

Gojo & S/O take Megumi as their son

S/O not used to compliments 

Taking pictures of his  S/O

S/O Insecure of their relationship

Sees his eyes for the first time

S/O who’s having an anxiety attack

S/O wiping Gojo’s kiss

Gojo wiping S/O’s kiss

Comforting a sad S/O after a mission

S/O wears Gojo’s shirt

S/O makes Gojo eat spicy food

S/O who helps Gojo (MANGA SPOILERS)

Comforting a sad S/O

Comforting a sad S/O 2

Ex to Lovers

Reader most romantic confession

Gojo’s Birthday Fic 2020

Comforting stressed S/O

Geto kidnapping Wife!Reader

Dog!Gojo Satoru x Reader

Comforting childhood bestfriend 

Husband material

Flower giving

If only I had somewhere to sit

Mommy kissing Santa Claus

Comforting Gojo

Gojo having a nightmare

Cheering up his S/O

Gojo making reader laugh in a meeting

Clingy in the morning 

In the shower

One of These Nights

From Behind

Gojo caught crying

A Taste?

Early Mornings

Gojo & the twins wanting another baby I

Gojo & the twins wanting another baby II

A Promise

Reader getting her period and Gojo notices

Lazy & Affectionate

Telling him you’re pregnant

The Gojo twins visiting Jujutsu HIgh

∞ Headcanons

Engagement Headcanons

Chubby S/O

Gojo turned into a child

F!Short & Strong S/O

Newborn curse reader

Curious childlike reader

S/O who is good at hand to hand combat

Cuddling Headcanons

Pregnancy Headcanons

Reader afraid of rejection

Tall & Strong Cursed Spirit

Suicidal Reader 

Long haired reader

Big sister reader

Affectionate S/O

Celebrate reader’s birthday

Toxic lover

What does Gojo Satoru smell like?

Working out 

Type of girl Gojo would fall for

Pregnant reader wants to decorate for Christmas

Gojo wanting a baby

Gojo trying to make stotic!reader smile 

Gojo Twins #1 

M!Strong & Short S/O

S/O memory loss

Popular F!Reader

S/O turns into a child

Shy S/O

S/O protects Gojo

Clumsy S/O

Day off with Gojo

Shopping with Gojo

Valentine’s Day

Insecure skinny S/O

Gojo x Idol!Reader

Agrument with his S/O

Merman!Gojo

∞Skipps Imagines

Why?

My Everything

A Moment

Afternoon Naps

I’ll be here

∞Random Gojou Satoru Headcanons Series

1   2   3

∞  SFW Alphabet

SFW Satoru Gojo Edition

∞ Prompt Event

Fluff # 12 “Could you say that again?” “Were you listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice”

Fluff prompt #26 “You’re really warm.”

Fluff Prompt # 1 “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

Fluff Prompt # 44 “You’re an idiot.” “But I am your idiot.”

Fluff Prompt #19 “ You know, I think my (mother/father/parents) would be proud if I brought (you/him/her/them) home.”

Fluff Prompt #18 “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes” #27 “Are you blushing?”

Fluff Prompt #4 “Kiss me.” & #13 “ I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

Fluff Prompt #7 “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”

Fluff Prompt #10 “Stop moving and let me braid your hair!”

Fluff Prompt #39 “You’re safe now, I’m here.”

Fluff Prompt #9 “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.” #26 “You’re really warm.”

Fluff Prompt #31 “I’m never gonna to leave you. I promise” #44 “You’re an idiot. But I am your idiot.”

Fluff Prompt #4 “Kiss me” and General Prompt #17 “Are you jealous?”

Fluff Prompt #30 “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

Fluff Prompt #16 “Can you just please hold me ?”

Fluff Prompt #7 “ You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.” General #17 “Are you jealous?”

General prompt #46&#48 “Are they really just a "friend”? “I won’t hurt you”

General Prompt #2 “It’s pouring rain, why are you here?” #50 “I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

General Prompt 17 “Are you jealous?”

General Prompt #17 “Are you jealous?” & #25 “She doesn’t belong with him!” “Than who does she belong with?” “with me…”

Angst prompt # 28 “Move out of my way before I make you”

Angst Prompt #12 “Maybe they were right, you never did change.” & #14 “ Don’t you dare walk away from this!”

Angst Prompt #21 “It’s (her,him,they), isn’t it?” & #36 “They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.”

Angst Prompt #6 “You’re lying to me again. Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?"

Angst Prompt #47 “ You deserve so much better.” #48 “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.” 

Angst Prompt “If you love me please let me go, please…”

∞ Winter Prompt Event

Winter Prompt #1 “What do you mean we’re out of hot chocolate?”

Winter Prompt #2 (Cuddling by the fireplace)

Winter Prompt #13 “Your hands are freezing!”

Winter Prompt #14 “ Aren’t you cold like that?”

Winter Prompt #17 (watching movies under a pile of blankets)

Winter Prompt #18 (snowball fight)

Winter Prompt #22 (kissing in the snow)

Winter Prompt #32 “There’s no way I’m letting you spend Christmas alone.”

Winter Prompt #37 (stuck in a snow storm)

Winter Prompt #38 “ You’re under the mistletoe so stop stalling and just kiss.”

Winter Prompt #43 “What do you mean Santa’s not real?”

Winter Prompt #50 “Those were for Santa!”

Winter Prompt #54 (Winter power outage) Gojo Satoru Edition

Winter Prompt #56 “Shhhh, don’t tell her/him!”

Winter Prompt #60 “I feel like there’s more frosting on you than on the gingerbread.”

Winter Prompt #10 “Where did all this mistletoe come from?” #61 “What are you doing with that mistletoe-oh.” #64 “I guess… this is when we kiss?”

Winter Prompt #65 “No, we’re not getting a puppy for Christmas. Stop. Asking.”

Winter Prompt #66 “ You don’t put marshmallows in your hot chocolate? YOU HEATHEN”

Winter Prompt #68 (Winter Proposal)

Winter Prompt #70 “You’re perfectly welcome to kiss whoever you wa-”

Winter Prompt #72 “Did everyone else come with a date?”

∞Smut Prompt Event (1k Followers Event)

Smut Prompt #21 “You’re bigger than I expected.”

Smut Prompt #54 “ You’re going to regret that, sweetheart.”

Smut Prompt #55 “Were you dreaming about me again?”

Smut Prompt #1 “We’re in public, you know.”

Smut Prompt #3 “Can you help me with this zipper?”

Smut Prompt #28 “Oh god, how can you manage to switch from cute to sexy in under a second?”

Smut Prompt #53 “What do you mean not yet? You can’t expect me not to cum when you’re fucking me so good!”

Smut Prompt #16 “Forget the bed. Let’s fuck right here.”

Smut Prompt #11 “You’re really gonna make me beg for it?”

Smut Prompt #5 “Are you trying to turn me on right now? Because it’s working.”

Smut Prompt #44 “If I have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week.”

Smut Prompt #46 “You’re not allowed to cum without my permission.”

Smut Prompt #6 “I’d hold on to something it I were you.”

Smut Prompt #27 “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

Smut Prompt #42 “I know for a fact you’re a lot louder than that.”

Smut Prompt #41 “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

Smut Prompt #39 “ Angel in the streets, freak in the sheets.”

Smut Prompt #15 “Try to keep quiet. We don’t want to get caught.”

Smut Prompt #48 “Holy shit, you’re so fucking sexy like that.”

∞Physical Affection Prompt

Physical Affection Prompt #11 (Back hugs)

Physical Affection Prompt #1 (Pats on the head)

Physical Affection Prompt #9 (Wiping away their tears)

Physical Affection Prompt #18 (Wiping food away from their lips)

Physical Affection Prompt #23 (A hug some might consider too long)

Physical Affection Prompt #7 (Squishing their cheeks)

Physical Affection Prompt #8 (Brushing hands by accident)

Physical Affection Prompt #15 (The biggest warmest hug)

Physical Affection Prompt #13 (Kissing someone’s forehead)

Physical Affection Prompt #6 (Chasing after their lips after they pull away)

Physical Affection Prompt #25 (Playfully biting)

Physical Affection Prompt #4 (A hug after not seeing them for a long time)

Physical Affection Prompt #21 (Accidently knocking your head against their chin)

Physical Affection Prompt #22 (Kissing their cuts/bruises/scratches)

∞Incorrect Jujutsu Kaisen Quotes

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7

∞  Skipps Art

Random Gojo 1

Cat ears for Gojo

Dog Hybrid Gojo

Happy New Year 2021

Mochi Gojo

1k Followers

2k Followers

[everlarkficexchange]

Magic as Always

Written by: @alliswell21

Prompt 71: Magic of Ordinary Days AU: 1940s, Katniss is a single pregnant girl. Desperate for her daughter not to have a child out of wedlock, Mrs Everdeen contacts a priest who in turn knows a young man who just may be willing to help. Sweet, kind and shy Peeta stayed home to take care of the family farm when his beloved brother went to war to never come back. He’s always wanted a family but rural small town life gives little chance to court. He hears of Katniss’ plight and graciously offers to marry her and raise the child as his own. He does everything he can think of to make a home for Katniss and the baby. How does Katniss take it? How does their relationship develop? Will they fall in love? [submitted by anonymous]

Rating: this chapter is rated Teens and Up  

Tags: Historical!AU; WWII; 1940’s Era views on marriage, sexism, pregnancy, etc; Katniss/Marvel relationship; Non-graphic Unprotected Sex; Unplanned Pregnancy; Arrange Marriage; Miscellaneous Religious views; Grief/Mourning; Canon Characters Death; OOC!Mrs.Everdeen; Somewhat OOC!Katniss; Everlark is Endgame; Other tags to be added.

Notes: Thank you Anon for this prompt. I must confess, I’ve never seen the movie ‘The Magic of Ordinary Days’ or read the book the movie is based on. I did a quick skimming on the plot of the movie and then dug up all kinds of reviews on the book, most of my plot points come from a combination of movie and book (which apparently differ only in a few parts), besides what the prompter asked for. I just really loved this prompt, and see the potential of this story, which will be a few chapters long, cross posted to AO3 and I already have a good chunk written ;) The rating will be adjusted too, because there will be explicit Everlark smut in the following chapters. Anon, I hope I don’t disappoint you, this story will be only loosely based on the source material, and adapted to fit THG characters in the narrative, I will try to stick to the main plot points as much as I can, but I’m also taking several liberties with the story. I hope you still like it though. 

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP

Prim died on a Tuesday, after a very long, strenuous battle with poliomyelitis. My sweet little sister’s face looked as fresh as a dew drop even in death. 

  “Come now, Katniss,” my mother calls from the open door of the mortuary hall, where visitation took place an hour ago. 

  The mortician has arranged for the coffin to be taken to the cemetery and put in the ground this afternoon. There will be no graveside mourning. It’s all we could pay for, but then again the war has left everyone penniless nowadays.

  A big, rotund man comes to close the coffin, and offers a curt nod. 

  That’s it then. The very last time I’ll ever set eyes on Primrose’s sweet face. 

  “Katniss,” Mother whispers, insistently. It’s probably all she can muster before breaking down in tears.

  I look on at the box my sister’s body lies in, numb and heartsick. I bring my 3 middle fingers to my lips and then rise them in the air. My last salute to my beloved Little Duck. I step away from the coffin and shuffle towards mother. 

  Up close, I can see the deep, dark bruises under my mother’s eyes. She used to be beautiful in her youth— according to friends and old photographs— but now she just looks tired and defeated. I guess having to bury first her husband and then her 15 year old daughter, in less than a year, would have that effect on anyone.

  Prim would’ve looked like our mother, with their soft blonde locks, almond shaped blue eyes and alabaster skin. She had a softer spirit though, she enjoyed music and loved animals. She always said that if she was older, she would’ve joined the Red Cross and signed up to serve as a nurse to our boys in the Pacific, like Father did… Father wasn’t a nurse though, he was a chaplain. 

  It’s funny to think that I inherited so much of my father, like my dark hair, gray eyes and olive skin. We both also share the same aversion to human pain and blood that moves my mother and Prim to action; but unlike Prim, my father’s calling to help the soldiers in their worst situations, passed me and went directly to my baby sister. 

  I sigh… Prim would’ve made a terrific army nurse, if only she hadn’t wasted in bed with that odious disease! If she had been given the chance to live, I’m sure Prim would’ve had so many boys trailing after her. She would marry at some point and have a beautiful full life. 

  I don’t plan on marrying and having a family. If the acute pain in my own chest wasn’t enough warning,  watching my mother walk silently from the funeral home to our apartment, with her head bowed and listening to her quiet sobs at night would be enough evidence that there’s too much sorrow in losing one’s husband and children. 

  I think my efforts will be better spent in cultivating my mind, and getting my degree in botany, like my father always dreamed, anyway… plus, I’m not much of a looker… not like Prim at any rate. 

  We finally arrived at our modest home. Mother drifts ghost-like into the door, and then we both shuffle quietly into our separate bedrooms. There won’t be a meal at the table tonight, but I make sure Prim’s old tomcat gets fed and watered, and after he meows in distress at my sister’s door, I open mine, and let him strut inside my bedroom and hop into my bed. The hideous fur ball and I distrust each other, but he understands his mistress is never coming back, and he’s the last thing I have from her… so he lets me pet him and he cuddles close to my chest as I fall asleep, crying. 

——————————-

Mother and I walk slowly through the busy streets of town, mostly ignoring the bustle and disarray around us. People shout, cars honk horns, a baby cries in the distance, and the few young men rush back and forth in the busy sidewalks, like they’re being lashed by invisible whips.

  “We should stop by the grocer and see if we can pick up some eggs.” Says my mother, pulling her “Sugar Book” out of her handbag. 

  Because of the war, everything is being rationed, from sugar to shoes.

  I could care less about food and clothing, though. But I still go into the shop, dutifully. 

  I’m so immersed in my own thoughts, I don’t see the lanky man walking towards me with his arms full of vittles. 

  We collide. The man’s groceries fly up in every direction, raining over me, as I sit on my rump on the floor. 

  My mother is nowhere to be seen. Typical.

  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there!” Says the man, pulling a packet of oatmeal from the floor, while extending his other hand to help me up. 

  “No… it’s alright, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

  “Well, let’s agree that we’re both klutzes, and leave it at that?” The man offers.

  I’m on my feet, dusting my skirt off and righting my blouse, “Sure, let’s do that.” I scowl at the skew state of my clothes and finally look up at the man. 

  He’s smiling down at me, and I must admit, his smile is dazzling. He’s got short brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, and a smattering of freckles over his nose. He also towers above me. 

  “My stars! If it isn’t Katniss Everdeen!” The young man says, unexpectedly excited.

  I blink owlishly at him, and try to place his face, but I’m horrible at remembering people. Or their names. 

  “Marvel Quaid,” he offers genially, unfazed by my lack of response, “we went to grade school together?” He prompts, “My pa used to sell luxury goods in District One?”

  “Oh, I think it’s coming back now,” I say smiling for the first time in what feels like months. “You used to throw sticks, pretending they were spears or something,” I tell him, showing that indeed, I do remember him.

  Marvel scrunches his nose, “Javelins, actually. I was pretending I threw javelins. I saw a fellow doing it for the Olympics in a film, and then he won a medal for it. I thought to myself that making a victory lap with the good old American flag flapping after oneself looked like fun; well, I wanted to be a victor too!” He chuckles, then deflates. “But as everything, those dreams are gone now, crushed to dust under the weight of the war.”

  As is the norm, once the war gets brought up, gloominess settles on, dampening the cheeriest of spirits.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m all too familiar with the sentiment.”

  Marvel nods, grimly. 

  “We lost Father in France.” I’m not sure why I said it. “We put my sister in the ground last week, too.” I avert my eyes. 

  “Aww, geez, Kit… that’s truly awful. I’m so sorry for your loss,”

  I’m mildly surprised I don’t immediately recoil at his little pet name. I guess the fact that he doesn’t sound condescending while delivering his condolences, helps. 

  “Oh, well, as my father would’ve said, at least their toils in this world are over. They can finally rest in peace.”

  After a moment of heavy silence, Marvel shares, “I’m being shipped out tomorrow morning.”

  I scowl, “Oh,” I bite the inside of my cheek, wondering how he’d manage to evade the draft for this long? Marvel is my age, 19 going on 20… boys get sent to the front lines at 18. “I… I could write to you… if you wanted?” I offer shyly. 

  Isn’t that what young women are being told to do, in order to keep our boys’ morale from plummeting?  

  Marvel grins, showing slightly crooked teeth, “That would be swell, Kit!” He stares at me for a long moment, then sighs, “I should go back to my shopping, before they miss me at home. Lord knows when will I have the chance of doing something as mundane as picking up my mother’s weekly grocery allowance.”

  These days it is not only uncommon seeing men doing grocery runs, but simply seeing young, able-body men around, period. All of our boys are either in Europe or the Pacific, fighting to keep the devastation of the World war from reaching our shores.

  “Well, for what is worth, I hope you get to return home safely… you know, so you can do all the boring tasks your mother tells you to do. And when I say safe, I mean, I hope you don’t run anymore into spaced out girls, like me,” I smirk. 

  “Oh, Kit, if only you knew how much I’ve enjoyed our accidental skirmish. It’s like a gift from above, seeing you after all these years. Your smile and the color of your eyes will forever be branded in my mind, to give me a reason to fight. To have a dream,”

  I’m momentarily floored by Marvel’s florid little speech. Nobody has ever said anything nearly as sweet and gallant as that to me, and for a moment, I forget all about my dead sister and father, the war, and my own sorrow. 

  I avert my eyes, bashfully, as he finishes picking up his vittles off the floor.

  “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” I lean over to pick up a can of milk, and put it on top of his pile. 

  “I only speak the truth,” he smiles brightly. 

  My mother chooses to interrupt at the exact moment I bat my lashes at him, “Katniss, there you are! I’ve been waiting for you by the counter.” She shakes her head. 

  Marvel wobbles on his feet, rearranging his load, and then greets my mother, warmly, “Mrs. Everdeen, how nice to see you again,” 

  My mother eyes him, unimpressed. “Good afternoon, young man,” she answers. 

  “Ma’am… pardon my forwardness, but, would it be too troublesome to ask Miss Katniss to accompany a soldier about to be shipped out, to supper in the town?” 

  My mother narrows her eyes, distrust dripping from her voice as she speaks, “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. My daughter and I are in mourning, you see,”

  “Oh, this won’t be an untoward celebration of any kind, ma’am. With the war raging on, we’re all in mourning. All I ask for is one last night of normalcy, a chance to reconnect with an old grade-school mate,” he smiles, hopefully, “For old times sake?” 

  I’m watching my mother’s face closely, with bated breath.

  “Very well,” Mother sighs, “You may ask Katniss out to dinner. But have her home by 9 sharp!”  

  I don’t hesitate to step up and give him directions to my apartment building in District 12. 

  I spend the rest of my day giddy and nervous, pressing my best Sunday suit, the gray one with the matching jacket, and polishing my only pair of leather shoes. There isn’t much I can do about my hair… the thing can’t be fashioned into the favored waves, not even putting it in curlers overnight, so I let it be. 

  I briefly wonder if this was all Prim’s doing? Meeting Marvel and mother’s somewhat easy aquiciscent. Prim hated seeing me sad, and constantly talked about how she’d love to help me get ready for dates with a beau. She couldn’t wait to be of courting age and date a strapping, young man herself… but of course, that would never happen for her, but she would probably still want to see me have those things. 

  Maybe Marvel is right, and our serendipitous encounter is a gift from above, to heal our wounds… at least for the night. 

  ————————-

  Marvel arrives at my house in his father’s car at 5:45. Riding is now such a luxury, with gasoline being rationed and all. He takes me to a quaint little dinner in the middle of town. We share malts, a greasy burger, and a small portion of fries and onion rings. 

  We talk about baseball:

  “You’d look good in a baseball uniform, Kit! Can you still run as fast as you did in school?” 

  I laugh. “I’m not much for sports,” I demure, “but I’ve heard playing in one of the new teams pays alright. Anyway, I’m gonna be starting my second year of college soon. I put my studies on hold while Prim was at her worst, but now that it’s only just me and mother… I’m anxious to go back to study.”

  “Wow, beautiful and smart!”

  We talk about cars:

  “I loved driving… but Mother sold our car when my sister took a turn for the worse. She didn’t want to at first, saying that Father saved up to buy it, and it held sentimental value to her, but I had to push to sell it. We needed the money and gas was a nightmare to come by, anyway,”

  “The only reason we still have ours,” says Marvel, “is because Pa is too stubborn to let go of the things that still made him feel wealthy.” He scowls, “He’s trying to get into the ice business now, since it’s pretty much the only thing one where the raw material is plenty and relatively cheap, and there’s guarantee that people will buy the product… everyone still needs ice for their ice boxes, right?” 

  No one can afford luxuries anymore with every penny going out to support our boys in the battlefields.

  We talk about many other subjects: his sister’s wedding; my father’s unit getting pinned and killed by Germans… We didn’t get a body to bury, but I got a medal on his behalf as his eldest child. 

  Marvel lets me sniffle against his chest, and then kisses my lips slowly. 

  I’ve never been kissed on the lips, and I feel my face heat up. 

  “Would you… like to take a drive with me, Kit?”

  We drive all the way to the city limit. It’s exhilarating to be in a car again, and sitting at the overlook, at twilight,  alone with a handsome boy, feels positively forbidden! 

  I’ve never done anything remotely injudicious all my life, and this whole moment feels… magical… exciting! 

  Tentatively, I initiated our next kiss, but he takes over in a rush of caresses and flitting touches. 

  “Beautiful, graceful, Kit. You have no match!”

  “Marvel…” I kiss him again, not knowing how to answer his sentiments with words.

  His hands are restless, groping my shoulders and elbows. “I wished he had more time! I would’ve loved to marry you before departing. I would’ve show you so much passion and love!”

  “You still can show me, Marvel… you absolutely can!” 

  It’s all the permission he needs to dive into a frenzy. He doesn’t stop until the deed is done, and we’re a sweaty, tangled mess of limbs in the back seat of the car, only partially clothed. 

  A deep feeling of lethargy pours over me. My muscles are sore and heavy, and wished I could fall asleep in here. 

  “I intend on coming back to marry you, Katniss,” Marvel says, stretching his lanky, long legs to zip up his pants. 

  I sit up and start finger-combing my ruined hair, hoping my mother won’t notice the strands are extra frizzy. “Um… I guess we should after this,” I say shyly, gesturing between us. 

  “You could still go to college while I’m away,” he offers with magnanimity.

  “You… wouldn’t mind that?” I ask incredulous, college women are so rare, unless they’re trying to become nurses or teachers. Most girls start courting right after high school and get married in the span of one to two years, and their husbands don’t normally encourage an education beyond what their wives came into the marriage with; so to hear Marvel say that wouldn’t mi d me stay in college is just about the greatest thing possible!

  “My darling, Kit, I don’t want you to be one of those girls pining and wasting away for her beau. I’ll be busy at war, it’ll be unfair to keep you from occupying your own time while you wait fir my return. Go to college, my clever girl!”

  I smile indulgently at him, leaning closer to slip his necktie around the collar of his shirt, “You are truly a generous, loving man,” I say.

  Marvel beams, circling my waist with his arms pulling me against his body. “It’s all inspired by you, sugar plum!”

  I giggle, kissing his cheek, “I’ll write to you every day!” I promise. 

  “That’s nice… but just so you know, I might not be able to write back right away. It’ll be a while before I get settled enough to write. But you’ll be in my thoughts every minute of every day, and that’s the honest truth! I’m serious about marrying you when I return, Kit,” he kisses me again. And then, he looks at his watch, sighing. “It’s 8:32. We should get on going, gotta keep in my future mother-in-law’s good graces!” 

  We share a carefree laugh, and finish tidying ourselves up to drive back to my house. 

  He walks me to the door, takes me in his arms, and kisses me passionately before promising he’d be back to officially ask for my hand in marriage, and for my part, I swear I’ll write to him every day until he returns home safe and sound. 

  But neither of us keeps our promises in the end, although I tried. 

  ————————-

  Three weeks go by and I keep my word of writing daily letters. I receive no word in return from Marvel, but think nothing of it… Europe is far and traveling by sea is tedious and time consuming; Marvel will get in touch once he’s settled down. 

  Another week goes by, still without news from my would-be fiancé. I still don’t worry. I’ve been busy with university, and the few other girls attending school with me keep me busy, but my heavier workload is starting to get to me.

  I’m usually so tired and moody after school that socializing with my classmates becomes a chore. I barely eat supper before I’m passing out in bed, and my letters to Marvel start to get shorter and simpler with every passing day.

  I skip writing one afternoon altogether, and take a long nap. Buttercup— Prim’s ugly cat— perches on my bed like a sentinel to watch me sleep. I believe he’s worried about me… stupid, clingy cat thinks I’m sick.

  But the feline’s intuition proves right, because just two days later, I shoot out of bed and run into the washroom to spill every last ounce of last night supper into the toilet. I must’ve caught a bug or something! 

  I feel queasy and lightheaded every morning after. My appetite wanes and it seems my delicate stomach can only tolerate pears, and broth. 

  I visit the post office to place out my letters to Marvel almost everyday; Every time I come, the nice old mailman comments on how sweet it is to see all the young-uns holding romance strong. Marvel has yet to respond to one of my letters, so I just smile tightly and demure. 

  I’ve been thinking though; the longer I go without news of my supposed future husband, and despite the whirlwind night of romance with him, I start questioning my actions, my promises. I never wanted to marry before, and suddenly I was okay getting a hasty, unofficial engagement with a virtual stranger, I barely remember from grade school… maybe it’s better if Marvel never writes. 

  My plans on earning a college degree and finding a well paying job will go unencumbered— I’m aware women in prominent working professions are as rare as snow in July, but women’s presence in the working forces keep growing as industries need laborers to keep up producing while the men fight in the war. Educated women are almost becoming less rare. 

  At the two month mark since I last saw Marvel, I become weepier than usual… is to be expected in my opinion; Prim’s been gone for a little over two months and she was the only person I knew I loved. But now I’m worrying about my health on top of everything.

  One morning, while I’m kneeling on the cold, hard floor in front of the toilet, feeling miserable and tired, my mother calls my name from the open door.

  “Katniss, I think it’s time to get a test.” She states evenly, and then enters the room to fetch a damp washcloth to wipe my face clean. “I hope I’m wrong, but I’m afraid you may be with child,” she sighs. 

  I squirm. “No,” I gasp. “I— I can’t be with child. I just can’t!” But the thought has crossed my mind a few times already. “It’s not supposed to be this way!”

  “I know, child,” My mother pats my head, “there’s only one way to know. Get dressed for the day, I will call the most discreet physician I know, and have him pay us a visit.” 

  ————————-

  Doctor Aurelius— a physician my mother has helped deliver babies and treat maladies with— confirms the pregnancy with a grim face. 

  I sit at my kitchen table numb and despondent. My mother writes a check to the doctor for his services, while talking in no so hush tones in the other room. I listen to their whole conversation, as if submerged in water.

  “I blame myself for this, doctor. I should have kept a closer eye on her,” 

  “Don’t blame yourself Ms. Everdeen, it’s that war business bringing out all sorts of evil into the world! It’s unfortunate the rise of these cases in our community. Young ladies— from good families!— engaging in acts ought to be saved for marriage. Youth do things without thinking, guided by fear. Our boys fear they may not return from that senseless, awful war, and settle down properly, and I don’t blame them one little bit.”

  “The only solace I have right now, is that my poor husband is not here to see the shame that’s fallen over our family,”

  “I understand the sentiment, ma’am. There’s no telling how Preacher Everdeen would’ve taken this blow. But I’m sure things will work out as soon as young Katniss hears from the father…” 

  I dissolve into silent tears then. My mother escorts the doctor to the door and then there’s silence. 

  My pinky finger curls into the soft fabric of the table cloth, and I try to ignore the urge to vomit boiling in my stomach. There’s one thought circling mi mind: my college days are over.

  ——————————-

“Ah! Miss Everdeen, I have something for you.” Says the mailman as soon as I reach the desk. He smiles, but rather sadly, like he’s about to give me bad news. 

  I’ve come to the post office with urgent letters every day for 6 days, and he’s never looked at me this way. 

  The old man digs around for a moment and almost reluctantly, passes a parcel tied up in twine. An envelope is attached to the top of the parcel, and with a sinking feeling, I realized it’s a stack of my own letters. 

  “It came in today, miss.” Says the man, voice laced with pity. “Sorry for your loss.” He says. 

  At first I don’t understand what he could possibly mean by that; he’s offered his sympathies fir my dead father and sister already; it makes absolutely no sense to repeat himself randomly after so long. 

  Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. 

  I gasp, and press the parcel to my chest. “Oh no! Marvel!” I whisper. I give the man a hasty wave, thanking him, and rush out of the post office like mad. 

  Tears run down my cheeks, while I dash home, imagining the worst. “Poor, Marvel!” Is all I can think.

  “Katniss, what’s wrong?” My mother calls, alarmed, when I rush to my bedroom, sobbing. She follows me in, and watches me tear into the envelope at the top of the stack. 

  I frown in confusion when I’m met with handwritten, chicken-scratch scrawl, instead of a formal missive typed in official US military stationary. 

  My scowl deepens as my eyes rove over the flowery vocabulary, and then I screech, “What?!” 

  “Katniss, what’s going on?” 

  I ignore my mother when she approaches to read over my shoulder; I step around her, shaking the piece of paper in my hands and stand by the window, as if sunlight will make the words change their meaning.

  I smooth the creases and folds on the page over, and read out loud, “Dearest Kit, sorry it took so long to write, it’s been a wild time since we arrived and finding time to correspond with everyone back home it’s been hard.

  “At times, your letters have been the sole source of light and hope in the darkness of this conflict. Is for that reason, and with a heavy heart, that I must come clean to you now. I truly meant it when I swore to come back and make you my wife, but as the Good Book says, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and love has sprouted out the most unlikely place! Kit, I’ve fallen in love and married a lovely gal here in England…”

  I stop reading. He goes on talking about the why and how, but I sincerely don’t care. 

  “That good for nothing, virtue dasher, future crushing… liar!” My mother bleats to the ceiling, raising her palms over her head, dramatically. 

  I’m angry too, of course. I feel used and disposed of like a dirty rag, but my mother’s reaction is borderline hilarious. Except, it isn’t. 

  I’m pregnant, unmarried, and soon— once my still flat stomach starts rounding— I’ll be socially ostracized for my condition. My only saving grace was the promise of marriage that bastard Marvel had given me. But that’s gone now. 

  “I knew that boy was bad news the second I laid eyes on him! He never even introduced himself to me, the little weasel! This is my fault. My fault! I should’ve never allowed you to run amok with the likes of him…”

  “Mother, will you please?” I nearly growl, gesturing at the open bedroom door.

  She stares at me uncomprehendingly for a moment, before pursing her lips in disapproval, and stalking out of the room muttering her aggravation under her breath. 

  I sink into my bed with Marvel’s stupid letter crumpling in my fist. A single, hot, angry tear rolls down my face, and for the first time since finding out of its existence, I hug my midsection and address my child, “I’m so sorry for dragging you into this mess. I know you didn’t ask for a mother like me, but I’m all you got now, little one. I promise we will be alright… I’ll try not to let you down.”

  ———————-

  My mother has been unbearable for the last two days. She cries in her room worse than when Prim died, and when she sees me, she starts lamenting my poor choice, like I’m not even standing there… as if I don’t feel discouraged enough. 

  I keep myself busy with my education. I will need to earn this diploma now more than ever before, and I need to do as much as I can before the baby arrives and my studies get put on hold. 

  In the meantime, I scout the newspapers for possible work options to sustain me and my mother. Our savings keep diminishing and the small stipend my mother got from the Army since my father passed away is becoming more insufficient by the day. 

  There’s a knock on the front door, and I push out my chair unhappy by the interruption. 

  “Afternoon Miss Katniss! Would you let your mother know she’s got a telephone call down in the lobby?” Says the building’s doorkeeper. 

  “Of course, thank you. She’ll be right down!”

  Telephones are yet another luxury we had to give up when moved to this small place after losing my father. 

  I go back to my job hunt, and my mother descends to the lobby, quickly. 

  She returns after only 10 minutes, almost running through the door, excitedly calling my name. Tears wet her face, but her smile is so blinding, even without knowing what sort of news she’s heard to cause her such joy, I stand from the table with nervous anticipation. 

  “Oh, Katniss! Katniss my dear daughter, you’re saved!” She exclaims, hugging me tightly. 

  I’m confused. I step away from her embrace, “What do you mean?” 

  “It’s the best thing possible ever, I tell you! The Lord has answered all of my prayers!”

  “This is all so exciting and all, mother, but… could you please share this great news already?” 

  My mother cups my face in her hands, and beams at me, “You need to pack your things, darling! Your father’s good friend, Reverend Undersee, has found a husband, and you are to wed, in three days time!”

  —————————

Reverend Undersee and his daughter, Madge, meet me and my mother at the rinky dink bus station, in the equally tiny town my mother has banished me to.

  “Katniss! How long has it been?” Says Madge, hugging me enthusiastically.

  I bite my tongue to keep the acidic retort of “not long enough!” to leave my mouth. 

  “Welcome to Panem,” says the reverend, soberly, shaking my mother’s hand in greeting.

  “Thank you, revered. We appreciate your hospitality and your understanding,” my mother responds, then gives me a pointed look and a wordless command. 

  I nod and mutter, “Thank you, sir. Madge,” 

  I scowl at a crack in the pavement, not feeling an iota of gratefulness for this charade! 

  Any man agreeing to this questionable union has to either be desperate, or be hiding terrible, ulterior motives to go along with all of this. Nobody in their right mind would willingly marry a girl pregnant with another man’s baby, and be happy about it… unless that’s the reason! 

  I shudder at the thought. 

  But it is a very real possibility that my intended is a simpleton, who can’t find a wife otherwise… or worse! It could be a man very advanced in age, looking for a supple, young body to leech off. Gross!

  My mother had been too excited about the news that a man offered to marry me (as if I asked for, or even wanted a husband!) to bother to ask his name. 

  Reverend Undersee coughs daintily, clears his throat, and starts, like he’s giving a lecture at the university. “It is our Christian duty to lend a helping hand to widows and orphans in their time of needs. Same way it’s our duty to keep the memory and honor of an old friend from being dragged into the mud.”

  I wince at the harsh words, and let my face fall lower, if that’s even possible. 

  “Well, it’s a good thing that we are all recipients of the abundant grace of the Lord, which covers multitude of faults, and it’s never hard to reach,” a deep, velvety, masculine voice cuts into my embarrassment. 

  I lift my eyes from the ground, to find a man striding confidently in our direction. He smiles kindly at me, his eyes fixed on my own, like I’m the only person still standing in the station.

  He finally cedes our staring contest, to take in the rest of the group.

  A knot forms in the pit of my stomach, because I recognize him from years past when my family used to visit this town, and I’m afraid I know exactly why he’s here. 

  “Good afternoon, all. I apologize for my tardiness, I had a last second detail to take care of before leaving the house,” he nods in our general direction, taking his hat off; a riot of ashy blonde curls falls onto his forehead, before bending forward to shake my mother’s hand, “I’m Peeta Mellark, at your service, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” 

  “Likewise, mister Mellark,” says my mother, her lips twitch tersely, “Widow Everdeen, and this here is my daughter Katniss… your bride.” 

  Peeta Mellark’s baby blue eyes slip back to mine, and the left side corner of lips curls into a shy, earnest smile. “Welcome to Panem, Katniss, I’ll sure do my best, so you’d like it here.”

[prankprincess123]

I'll sometimes wake up to find my bookmark in a different chapter or the next book in the series, or a short snippet of conversation for one of my WIP's typed out, because I apparently both read and write in my sleep. And every now and then I'll have a bizarre/vivid dream that spurs me to jot down notes for a new WIP when I wake up in the morning. But never before last night (or to be more specific, 2-3:30 this morning) have I ever jotted down notes for a new WIP in my sleep.

I just woke up this morning to find a string of vaguely incoherent texts to one of my little sisters, mapping out a period drama/romance of like soap opera proportions.

Like the last notes I had chronologically were about one of the main characters admitting that she's never been in love with her husband - not mentioning that she's been having an almost affair with the stablehand for the past 6m, and had to bribe her 11yo cousins into silence on the matter - while almost dying in childbirth, her twin sister - who is supposed to be mourning her betrothed who just died in a war - responding with an admission that she's been in love with him since they were children, the older twin immediately falling into a coma, and the husband trying desperately not to fall in love with the younger twin as she helps him care for his children while their mother is comatose. And then there's also some side plot about their uncle being missing for 5y, returning early in the story with two children under 4yo, and never mentioning anything about what happened or the identity of the children’s mother at all in the following year and a half ish of the laid out plot.

And I have absolutely no clue 1) how to write romance 2) where I'm going with any of this 3) how to write something that very obviously isn't intended for children to read, and 4) why the heck my sleeping brain decided it wants to write several tropes I'm not a fan of in one of my least favorite genres

[honeypirate]

Just In Case

Part two

Pro hero Bakugou x fem pro hero reader

in my world Recovery Girl lives forever and trains another who can replace her when she retires who she passes the hero title of recovery girl too.

Anyway on to the story that’s probably not as good as I want but oh well.

Warning- angst. Death. Blood. Ya know the works.

Inspiration- Murder In the City // The Avett Brothers

You write a letter every day. A new one so it stays relevant. Every morning you took ten minutes to quickly write out a letter just in case anything bad happens while you’re at work.

You see, being a hero isnt all rainbows and butterflies and ranks. Sometimes it’s boring. But other times, it’s scary and horrifying. Those days where you barely make it out on top because the villains were crafty.

After one hard therapy session filled with worries and tears, your therapist suggested letters. At least one. To your husband. Just in case.

This morning wasn’t different than your last, you can hear your husband in his office across the hall, humming a song you listened to at dinner the previous night. He made your heart happy with everything he did, minus the way he left his used teeth floss sticks on the counter or the way he could be a little loud.

Every morning you write this letter, periodically meeting his eye through your open doors and he’d wink, making you laugh and stick your tongue out.

Today you watched as he moved, methodical, he’s done this every morning and it shows but he still takes care with every movement.

“Are you ready?” He says as he crosses the hallway “we’re needed in half an hour so we should go soon” you smile at him and somethjng settles in your stomach. Something heavy and uncomfortable. Something wrong.

“Yeah I’m almost done” you say and he watches as you fold your letter and place it in an envelope, writing his name followed by ‘just in case’ then sticking it in your top drawer.

The letters he’s been told about. The letters he supports. He’s actually been writing his own to you as well but you both agreed that you can’t read then unless it’s actually happening.

You try to not focus on the hard substance in your stomach or the way it seems to ache. It’s a bad feeling but sometimes your anxiety could cause them for no reason so you tried not to pay too much attention to it.

“Ready” you say softly, pulling down your hero mask to press your lips to his for a moment. He helps you readjust your mask with a pink flush in his cheeks. You’ve been married for years but making him blush is as easy as it was day one.

(Skippy skip)

The villains were smart, drawing all the heroes to different locations. You were climbing the stairs of an abandoned building, going to see if the intel about a bomb on the third floor was true, which unfortunately, it was.

Your hands hovered over the bomb, using your electric quirk to cancel out the wires and stop the timer. A scuffing sound catches your attention and you’re dodging a metal rod that was thrown at you to only be stabbed by one from a different direction.

The villain could control metal with his quirk, throwing the rod at you from one direction when he was coming from a different side. “Huh” you say softly as you look down at the rod through your stomach, the pain not even registering yet. “Poor unfortunate hero.” He lifts you by the metal rod and you scream, white hot pain shooting through you as it tears your abdomen as he slams you into the ground, pushing the rod further through you until it connects to the concrete floor.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay long. I have a hot date later” he says as he restarts the bomb, placing it farther from you so you couldn’t reach it with your powers, then he’s hopping from the third story window and waving at you with a smirk.

Your hand flies to your ear piece “There’s a bomb! Third floor tallest abandoned building in the-“ and that’s all you can get out before the bomb goes off and the building is collapsing.

The area was covered in dust and smoke, ash falling from the sky. You ripped your mask off trying to get more air into your lungs but it didn’t help that a giant piece of concrete was crushing your right arm and part of your ribs and chest, not to mention you’re still attached to the rod.

“Bakugou” you say through your headpiece, coughing up blood and ash “where are you?” He shouts back “the bomb” you muttered back and it sounded wheezy, you could hear the fluid in your lungs. You heard more explosions before he was appearing right beside you.

“Hey there hot stuff” you say and chuckle softly as he brushes the dust out of your hair “I’ll get you out of here. You’ll be okay” he’s saying but his eyes are filling with tears and his brows are knit. “It’ll be okay” you say but he does not look in your eyes. He’s still fretting, trying to think of how to save you.

“Bakugou.” You say in a commanding voice and he looks at you “you’ll be okay” you whisper, your blood covered lips smiling gently. You reach up with your left hand and cup his cheek, brushing away the hot tears that have started to fall. “You’ll be okay” you say again, your voice sounding weaker “no” he whispers “no. I’ll save you. You’ll be fine. I’ll get you help” kirishima is in your headpiece, telling you how he’s sent first responders your way but you can’t hear him.

Your voice is quiet, your hand going limp and falling from his cheek “You are the best part of me”

He doesn’t know where he’s going. He left the police station and was just walking. He couldn’t go home. Not when it was your home too. Not when he knows he’ll just be reminded of you and how you smiled at him this morning. How he woke up to you kissing his neck. How that will never happen again.

Walking into the office he didn’t bother with any of the lights. He puts in his alarm code and numbly makes his way to your office.

If you’re reading this. That means I’ve died.

Oh god I’ve always hated these letters. It’s so dramatic. I’m going to be okay. I have to be.

But just in case, since were up against major villains every day, I’ll write this letter. The 54th I’ve written so far.

Anyway I would regret not saying anything if it was my last day alive. I know I’m going to go home tonight and hold you, kiss you, and spend it like it was my last. This won’t be different than the last 53 letters I’ve shredded.

But. Life is short. It’s short and before you know it it can be snuffed out like a candle in the wind. So here we go.

If I get murdered in the city tomorrow, don’t go revenging in my name. A person dead from such is plenty, no need to go get locked away. I know you’ll blame yourself and get mad and swear revenge. Bakugou I love you. Let go of the hate and the rage. All I want is you to be happy and you to be okay.

But there’s no need to get over alarmed, I’m coming home I know it.

(His tears start to hit the paper, hot big tears blotting the ink and making it hard to see. )

So if tomorrow is my last day. Ill leave this letter in my desk.

Don’t bother with my belongings. Things never really mattered to me, you know that. Donate them. Burn then. Whatever you want.

Tell my sister that I love her. That I’m sorry if she ever doubted that.

I wonder what my parents will say. Probably that they were proud of me. Please let them know how much I loved them. How much I loved my childhood.

Now for you, my love, my sweetheart. The love of my life I’m sure of it. There was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name. The love that let me share your name for these few years.

Thank you. For loving me. For supporting me. For choosing me every day. I’ve never doubted it once. I’ll always be with you, even if you can’t see me.

I'm watching you in your office right now, youre humming that song that played at the restaurant last night.

If I had never seen your face this world would have been such a very different place for me. It would be quieter and colorless. You have truly given me so much in this life that I can never hope to repay you.

You can never know which way your heart will go, but you are the compass leading mine. It will always point to you.

You’ve made me feel alive made me want to live so I could experience all my dreams coming true with you by my side.

I don’t know what else to add

Please, if you know anything, let it be that you were my greatest happiness in life.

I’ll always come home to you

I love you

-y/n

His hand is shaking as he finishes the letter.

He takes a sharp inhale and his knees give out, falling to the floor beside your desk with a soft gasp that turned into a sob as he broke down.

“You. You promised” he whispered between sobs, not even bothering to wipe away the tears as he hugs his arms around himself, hunching forward as his tears make soft patting sounds as the hit the hard wood floor.

He doesn’t know how Kirishima found him but when he runs through the office and sighs with relief when he finds him, he doesn’t move. He stays, broken on the floor, sobbing. Kiri doesn’t freeze, he’s there in a second, wrapping his arms around his best friend. Trying to give him a little comfort.

Kirishima's phone rings and Bakugou growls, taking it from his hand as kiri goes to silence it, pressing answer without looking to see who it is “what” he yells out, his nose stuffy and throat constricted showing how much he’s been sobbing.

Recovery Girls voice is stern through the receiver “You need to get down here right away. She’s alive.”

[threadofdestiny]

Magnolia (Bakugou x f!Reader)

Feudal Japan AU

Shogun!Bakugou x Midoriya’s sister!reader

Summery: Her mother, lady Midoriya Inko, had once told her that the gods had predestined a path for every single person. All she had to do was follow the path and trust that it would lead her to happiness. But how could (Y/N) find happiness in a political formed marriage with her brother’s rival, a man known for being brutal and cold hearted?

Warnings: sexual content in later chapters / period-typical-sexism / strong language / violence / Drama / Angst / Fluff / Slow Burn/ political marriage / Reader is Izuku's sister / period-typical-discriptions like vague mentions of longer hair to form typical hairstyles or specific wardrobe / Bakugou is not good at feelings / Bakugou is a mean, explosive boi / third-person perspektive

Wattpad

AO3

If someone wants to be tagged, just let me know :)

Taglist: @bakugous-mamas​, @bnhastories​

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Vermilion

The night after (Y/N) found out that she was engaged with Bakugou Katsuki, was immensly exhausting. She had barely been able to find any sleep. Plagued by nightmares, she had tossed and turned in her bed until she had given up trying to find any rest after the first rays of sun peeked through her closed curtains. Her brother had hesitantly tried to describe what he knew about her future husband and although his descriptions remained vague and superficial, the young Miss Midoriya was quite good at reading between his meaningless lines.

„Bakugou is a loyal man of the crown who always act in its interest."

„He is a strong-willed and talented swordsman, who would be able to provide a safe home for you."

„He may be said to be rough tempered, but I am sure he will always treat you well."

It hadn't felt like Izuku had tried to lie to her. In a way, he had seemed to be convinced of his statements... and yet... no matter how many positive words he had used, his face had allways betrayed how worried he had been nonetheless. As if there had been a number of concerns that had slumbered right under his surface, which he eventually had not dared to express. (Y/N) had quickly realized that her brother had deliberately kept his true opinions to himself. She knew that he only had wanted to encourage her, but at night, while she had been all alone by herself, she had not been able to prevent her thoughts from wandering along darker places.

It was said that Bakugou's eyes were tinted in the blood of his enemies he had shed over the years as a Samurai. Those cruel red eyes hunted her within her dreams, followed her no matter which direction she had turned and found her no matter where she had tried to hide herself.

His mercilessness and explosive personality were almost as notorious as his talent with the sword. It was said that he had no qualms about turning his blade even on innocent people. These rumors, created the visions of screaming shadows within her sleep. Their cries echoed like panicked pleas to be spared by him, but the ground on which (Y/N) had stood was flooded in red non the less. Those imaginations had plagued the youngest Midoriya through the entire night, haunting her mercilessly until she had lain wide awake in her bed. With widened eyes she had stared up at her ceiling, while she had tried to imagine the man who was going to be her husband.

When (Y/N) had got up a few hours later, she had been incredibly exhausted. She had tried not to let it show, but she could not prevent her thoughts from drifting away over and over again. She had spent the morning as usual at her mother's side, who, in addition to her usual duties as the female head of the household, had also received several guests. Some of them had been mothers of various bachelors, who had cautiously tried to win Lady Inko over for a potential marriage, but all of them had been discreetly put off by the mistress of the house, without her telling them about the still unofficial engagement between Bakugou Katsuki and her precious daughter.

Now, however, the young girl sat alone with her mother and brother, lost in thoughts, at a richly set table that had been placed in the shade on the roofed engawa of their estate. The young debutante ponderously let her gaze glide over the well-tended garden, unable to fully absorb the true beauty of the scenery which spread out in front of her. With dulled thoughts, (Y/N) contented herself with impassively observing the birds as they bustled about the branches of the flowering magnolia in the middle of their courtyard, while she pondered over the missed opportunities to collect more marriageable candidates for her to choose from.

"I wish I could cheer you up a bit, my dear.", Lady Inko snapped her daughter out of her mopey thoughts after a few minutes of silence, as she carefully set the ornate teapot down between them. Slowly, (Y/N) raised her gaze, only to find that her mother had poured tea for her and her brother, although this would actually have been the youngest Midoriya's task. Swallowing, she bowed her head apologetically before gratefully grasping the warm porcelain of her cup. "Thank you, mother.", (Y/N) whispered, before she carefully pursed her lips to cool the warm liquid with gentle puffs.

"Do not despair. Who knows maybe you will learn to feel deeply for the young shogun. The gods sometimes shape the strangest paths for a person and yet it all makes sense in the end.", Lady Midoriya carefully reassured her daughter as Izuku tried not to choke on his own drink. "Who knows, Izu-chan probably would have introduced you to gentlemen like the youngest son of the Iida family, or the heir of the Kaminari family, who also have their residents in the capital. Both of these gentlemen are known to you. What do you think of them? Wouldn't the gods have led you to them if they thought that they would be the right choice for you?", she asked, knowing what her daughter would think, while gently patting her son's arm in reassurance. "Mother...please! I don't really think that this is helpful.", Izuku mumbled into his teacup as he averted his eyes from the ladies of his household. The latter, however, just waved it off with a soft smile before pushing the plate of pastries in her children's direction. Gulping down the warming tea, (Y/N) suppressed a sigh before engaging in her mother's musings:"Well... ", she began cautiously, taking a deep breath, before she continued: "I'd say one of Iida-sama's greatest qualities is his erudition! He's a very intelligent man.", the youngest Midoriya murmured vaguely, but at the same time she thought of his stiff manners. He was a strict man who did not seem to welcome curious woman. (Y/N) was a passionate reader, who acquired all kinds of knowledge. This would certainly not be a problem, she thought, but with theoretical knowledge often came the need to try out practical skills, and this was not always appropriate for a girl of her status. What would Iida say if he knew that the little sister of one of his best friends, for example, liked to shoot with a bow?

"and... Kaminari-sama's energetic nature is quite contagious and exhilarating!", (Y/N) added after a short pause, having remembered her mother's questions again. Thoughtfully, her mind wandered to the open-hearted blond man, while she remembered how she had often observed him flirting shamelessly with various ladies. Moreover, she had been dismayed to discover in the past that, unlike Iida, he seemed to avoid reading of any kind. It would have made it difficult to have a conversation with him that went beyond superficial topics. When she thought about it, these men would certainly not have been people with whom (Y/N) could have imagined a future on the first sight. Perhaps just like her mother had said, she should actually remind herself once again that not everything had to make sense immediately. Maybe the gods had actually set a path for her. But it was just so incredibly hard to see the positive in her situation and to keep herself open minded. She took it upon herself, but the thought that her mother might be wrong made her skin crawl in anxiety.

"I think it's all a matter of adjustment. After the gods have given me a path, it is up to me to walk along it.", she finished her terse answers half-heartedly.

The debutante's enumeration came to an abrupt end when her personal maid, Mina, announced herself with an apologetic clearing of her throat. When (Y/N) turned around, the young girl was surprised to see another unfamiliar female standing next to her, her upper body almost completely covered by a huge bouquet of colorful flowers. The various blossoms shone in full bloom, some of which normally should not even have been in their actual blooming season. No matter who had sent this bouquet, it must have cost a small fortune.

"Forgive the intrusion, my lord, but I was instructed to lead this young girl to you and your family.", the cheerful servant began, bowing as she folded her arms behind her back. The unassuming girl next to Mina also bowed dutifully, despite the fact that the bouquet certainly did not make it easy for her. "T-This is a gift for Miss Midoriya, my Lord!", the girl explained quietly, while she showcased the flowers with a bowed head. Izuku gave the young girls a gentle smile before raising his scarred hand in a placating gesture. "What a splendid bouquet.", his mother remarked with curious gentleness before turning to smile bittersweetly at her daughter, who had also put on a discreet smile on her lips. "Which of the noble lords had send this bouquet, Mina-chan?", asked (Y/N) with mild curiosity as she rose to take a closer look at the flowers. She knew better than to be lulled by anyone other than her fiancé, but the plants seemed so expensive and rare that it would be a shame not to give them some attention. Even more so when a maid of the local household brought them over personally. It could be taken as an affront against the noble,if she would simply ignore the gift.

"They're from the young shogun, Bakugou-sama, Miss (Y/N)!", replied Mina excitedly, as she clapped her hands together in front of her chest. "He also sends word that he will be visiting Midoriya-sama towards the evening to negotiate the wedding matters.", the unknown servant added. A loud clang sounded behind the girls, who flinched in surprise. Shocked, (Y/N) turned to her brother, whose teacup had slipped from his hand. A multitude of emotions spread across the face of her brother, but his discomfort seemed to stand out the most. The tension in his face clearly showed that Izuku was not happy about the news, but he nodded non the less.

.

.

.

The knowledge that Bakugou Katsuki would enter the Midoriya family estate that very evening had caused an incredible uneasiness in (Y/N)'s stomach. Uncertainty and curiosity tried to gain the upper hand of her shaken feelings, while she had tried to continue her day as usual, but even the surprise visit of her friend, Ochako, had not been enough to successfully distract her. No matter how hard (Y/N) had tried to follow her friend's recounting of her evening last night, the young Midoriya simply hadn't been able to block out the loitering feeling of nervousness.

Izuku had retired to his study some time ago when a servant had informed him that the shogun had finally arrived. The ladies of the house had not yet seen their second guest of the evening, but all present had felt the tension that had settled around them like a thick fog. At this very moment, Izuku and her fiance negotiated about important aspects, which would determine her entire future life. Lost in her troubled thoughts, (Y/N) imagined how they possibly were talking about her dowry at this moment, or setting the date of their wedding, while the young girl did not even know what her future husband looked like. Would he introduce himself to her tonight? Did he even care that they were actually only a few meters and a few thin walls apart from each other at this very moment?

"Hey... (Y/N)... how about we take a stroll through your backyard, streching our legs out for a bit?", Ochako carefully interrupted her friend's train of thought when she noticed that (Y/N) was starting to drift off again. Surprised, the young girl tore her gaze from the bouquet of flowers that had been placed on an ornamental table next to the salon's open sliding doors. "I'd love to.", (Y/N) answered as she blinked a few times, before setting down her cooled teacup, that had rested in her palms unmoved for a few minutes. Followed by the brunette debutante, she entered the gardens of the Midoriya family estate, which directly bordered the salon in which they had sat before.

The gentle breeze that playfully blew around them made the leaves and branches of the plants dance to the music of the birds, while the rays of the late afternoon sun engulfed their surroundings in radiant light. In the midst of a sea of lush green trees, lawns and bushes, the blooming magnolia that her grandfather had planted for her grandmother many years ago as a testament to his true love towards her, stood out in its proud splendor. Since then, it has bloomed every spring with its soft pink and white blossoms in the center of their small idyllic paradise.

Sighing, (Y/N) looked up into said treetop as she arrived at the precious memento accompanied by her friend. "My apologies for being so absent today.", the youngest Midoriya murmured before turning to Ochako, who looked at her with a sad expression on her round face. Shaking her head, the young brown-haired girl put on a smile as she folded her hands in front of her. "Don't worry about it. I understand how you feel. It's certainly overwhelming to be promised by the emperor to one of his subordinates right after your performance the day before yesterday."

Nodding hesitantly, (Y/N) stroked the gauzy white fabric of her upper robe, smoothing it over the lower burgundy wide sleeves. With erratic fingers, she then ran them over the gold threaded embroidered obi, adjusting the decorative ribbons that hung down the sides of her traditional gown. Seeking distraction, (Y/N)'s gaze wandered to the closed doors of her brother's study, which also adjoined the gardens they were strolling through. Knowing that behind those thin walls, hidden away from her gaze, was her fiancé speaking to Izuku, made her incredibly nervous. Quickly the youngest Midoriya turned away to look at her friend again, not able to gaze towards her home any longer. She didn't dare to look into the round window, which was supposed to let daylight into the room behind, for fear of having to face reality once and for all. At the moment her fate was still completely surreal for her, but what if she would see the man she was going to marry soon? It would make her whole destiny so much more real.

"I know it is an honor that the Emperor himself asked for this allegiance, but I must admit that this sudden change of events churn me a bit!" Ochako nodded in understanding before also looking thoughtfully in the direction of the house. "You know... The other side of the coin has its downsides, too. My father can barely afford the standard of living we have to lead as nobles. It will be difficult to find a family that will be satisfied with the little influence and the small dowry I am able to provide...", she murmured gloomily. Briefly, the young Miss Uraraka's expression changed as she looked longingly at the window that leads to her brother's study. How could (Y/N) have thought so selfishly only of herself, when she knew that her friend had it at least as hard as she did. With a fluid motion, the youngest Midoriya placed her hand on her friends upper arm as she stepped a little closer to her. "I wish I could support you somehow!", (Y/N) murmured comfortingly. "You know, you are really very very lucky. Your brother... I mean, Midoriya-sama will definitely make sure that you'll be fine by Bakugou-sama's side! He would never let him hurt you!", assured Ochako again with newfound energy as she confidently turned back to the daughter of the house. The sadness that had previously gleamed in the brunette girl's eyes had vanished without a trace. Sympathetically, (Y/N) smiled at her friend, knowing that she did not want to talk about the subject any further. Just as she was about to change the direction of their conversation, the sound of sliding doors distracted the two girls instantly.

Immediately, (Y/N) looked up to direct her gaze towards the house, only to finally discover her brother in the doorway of his study. When she realized that there were two other unknown figures standing behind him in the shadows of the room, the young Midoriya's breath caught for a moment. Two finely dressed, tall men slowly stepped into the light of the sun and, accompanied by Izuku, headed purposefully towards the young ladies. One of them had ash blond spiky hair, who was followed by a red-haired warrior. The clothes and the traditional katana they carried distinguished them as nobles of the sword, but it was quite clear even from a distance that the blond man stood rank-technically above the redheads. His attire was a bit more finer, than the others, but it was mainly the nature of his attitude that betrayed him the most. He came towards her as if he owned the ground on which he walked. Everything about his aura demanded that they had to submit to him.

Bakugou Katsuki.

At the sight of the handsome, albeit somber looking man, (Y/N)'s heart began to take a few leaps until it finally began to pound wildly against her chest.

"O-Oh, by the gods. Th-That has to be the shogun.", Ochako breathed softly. The young Midoriya could hear the trembling in her friend's voice, but she had to give her credit for standing firm just like (Y/N), trying not to let her intimidation show. A tepid breeze caused the light hanfu robes the two ladies wore, to dance around their legs, while a few petals of the magnolia blossoms rained down upon them. Despite the fact that she was surrounded by fresh spring air, (Y/N) felt like she couldn't catch her breath while facing the formidable gentleman. However, she didn't know if it was due to the unawareness of the powerful man's reaction towards her, or if perhaps this feeling had a completely different origin.

The expression in the gaze that Bakugou Katsuki had directed at the figure of the young Midoriya could only be described as penetrating, attentive and calculating. She had never met a person who was able to conjure up such an aura with only his bare focused eyes. Only briefly did he detach his attention from her to look at Ochako with his sharp gaze. Izuku's posture was tense as he walked up to his sister beside the shogun. Bakugou, on the other hand, looked as if he wasn't the least bit interested in the whole situation. He strode confidently towards his fiance, while his chimney red eyes once again stared down at her warily.

His gaze had been enough to free (Y/N) from her rigidity and ensured that she finally managed to get herself to move accordingly. Just before his arrival, she fell into a deep curtsy, which at that moment was more of a testament to her brilliant muscle memory, than a conscious act. But she managed to remember her manners, chastely lowering her gaze and remaining in the offering position long enough for the gentlemen to come to a stop in front of her and her close friend.

"So, this is your sister? Well, she truly is a lovely creature, Midoriya-san.", interrupted a friendly but unfamiliar voice the emerging silence. (Y/N) attributed it to the red-haired man, because the pitch seemed too friendly to belong to the notorious shogun. With downcast eyelids, she listened how her brother thanked his guest as he slowly moved to stand beside her smaller frame. The youngest Midoriya still hadn't lifted her gaze entirely, knowing that it was not proper for an unmarried woman to lift her eyes without further ado. However, her mind remained by the fact that the red haired men had spoken up before her fiance had said a word. It had surprised (Y/N), after all he was in the company of someone who outranked him. She had rarely seen anyone dare to speak openly in front of those who were above them.

"Oi, lift your gaze and look at me, girl!", growled Bakugou suddenly, without uttering a word of greeting. His companion clicked his tongue softly when he heard how his leader approached his fiance, while Izuku began to tense up in front of the shogun. Immediately, (Y/N) raised her fluttering eyelids and fixed her gaze on the nobleman's handsome face. Did Bakugou want her to look him in the eyes?

Despite her inner uncertainty, the young Midoriya's gaze wandered over the sharp edges of his contours until finally they slowly collided with the young shogun's iris.

Vermilion

His eyes had a vermilion color.

(Y/N) could understand why so many scary rumors circulated about the color of his eyes, but her first association was not the one she had heard from others. She could see why people associated them with the blood of his enemies, but the youngest Midoriya first thoughts were of the deep red of the sky as soon as the rising sun blinked out just a few inches above the horizon. Then, when the world was almost still haunted by the blackness of the night, before it was slowly but surely chased away by the first warm rays of pure light.

With quick breaths, (Y/N) looked speechlessly at her future husband while trying to suppress the nervous trembling of her body. She could sense Ochako behind her, shifting her weight, shocked as she tried to take in the spectacle in front of her as well. (Y/N), however, continued to do as she was commanded and looked bravely into the face of the shogun. It showed the indomitable will which lay dormant in the depths of his body. The will that was able to break even the strongest fighting spirit of his opponents. The youngest Midoriya knew that she should have felt fear at the sight of him, but all she could think of was the envy that arose in her when she realized what a strong character must reside in this man. How much power he posessed at such a young age.

Silence spread like a heavy blanket over the five nobles, all waiting for the highest ranked to speak again, but Bakugou seemed to be in no hurry. Almost testing, he delayed the moment as he looked down at her in a scrutinizing manner.

"Bakugou Katsuki.", her fiancé finally introduced himself impassively after nodding towards her. For a moment she had thought that she saw a positive emotion in the features of her future husband, but after just a single blink, the moment had already passed away. One more time, (Y/N) sank into a curtsy before putting on a shy, shaky smile. "Midoriya (Y/N). It's an honor to meet you, your grace.", she replied kindly. Silence spread out between the present, while the young couple looked at each other closely. However, Bakugou's companion broke it again before it was getting to be too awkward, waving at her with a radiant smile on his lips:"If I may introduce myself as well. My name is Kirishima Eijirou. I am one of the samurai who followed Bakugou-sama's lead. It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Midoriya and Miss eh?"

Surprised that the young man next to the young shogun had again simply spoken up without hesitation, (Y/N)'s attention briefly swung to the red-haired, muscular samurai. How was it that he dared to speak even though his superior was standing right next to him? Bakugou, however, didn't seem to mind, as he waited a short moment, while Ochako hastily introduce herself, without taking his eyes off of (Y/N).

After the brown-haired girl finished her introduction, the shogun  cleared his throat in desinterest. He paid no further attention to his future wife's guest, clearly intending on keeping the conversation as short as possible as he began to declair in a business-like manner: "The negotiations for our engagement have been completed. After the proper engagement period has passed, I will come back to the capital to perform the wedding with you. Until then, I will travel back to my estate in the north." Overwhelmed by the statement, the young Midoriya swallowed down the rising lump before nodding hesitantly: "W-When will you be leaving?", the young lady asked after collecting herself. "In a week!" "In a week? But...", (Y/N) gasped, before breaking off her sentence. It was not her place to object, but she had hoped to at least meet Bakugou a few times before having to marry him.

Kirishima quickly stepped in again, smiling and trying to lighten the mood a bit, after noticing that his leader would say nothing in reply: "Duty calls, milady. But once we're back in town, Bakugou-sama will certainly be able to take up more time to get to know you before the wedding.", he suggested with a bright smile as he bumped his fists against each other in a confident manner. "Maybe... but now Kirishima and I will have to leave! The negotiatons took too much of my time already.", the shogun gave out without showing any interesest in indulgin any of them.

Surprised, (Y/N)'s eyes widened at the curt statement. Had she done something wrong? Why did he want to leave so soon, if he would be gone within the next week? Was he upset that she hadn't been able to hold her tongue? Swallowing, she searched the man's face for an answer, but could find no clues in his closed off expression. Strangely, a trace of disappointment spread through her as she watched the blond man resolutely incline his head in a farewell. Immediately, the youngest Midoriya and Ochako fell back into a deep curtsy as they bowed their heads in supplication.

Before (Y/N) could straighten up again, however, she felt a small oblong box being pressed into her hands. For a brief moment, rough, long fingers brushed against hers, but when she looked up in surprise, she realized miserably that Bakugou, who gave her the gift, had already turned away from her. With a wildly beating heart, she pressed the wooden box to her chest as she watched how Bakugou, was walking away from her without any hesitation in his steps.

How could she face her destiny and fight for her happiness when she was given no choice to do so? If she let him go without another word, wouldn't she have already failed in her purpose? She had to use the time she had left and pray that the gods would lead her graciously. On impulse, (Y/N) took a leap forward despite her intimidated self, before trying to build a bridge between Bakugou and her, even if it meant that she had to use her voice:"T-The spring Festival!" A shiver ran down her spine as the youngest Midoriya saw the shogun pause and turn to face her. "The festival to celebrate the cherry blossoms. The day after tomorrow evening in the emperor's gardens. W-will you be there, your Grace?", she asked, after having scraped together all of her courage. She could see Kirishima turn around as well and look at her with another radiant smile, while her brother looked like he was about to faint. Bakugou, on the other hand, looked at her appraisingly for a few moments before raising his shoulders in a vague gesture. "I'll be busy with the preparation for the following journey!", he replied impassively as he spun around again. Dejectedly, (Y/N) lowered her gaze, before she suddenly heard how her fiancé continued to speak: "I'll see if I can spare some time."

Eyes widening, (Y/N) gazed after Bakugou as she tried to comprehend what he had just uttered. A shaky smile spread across her lips before she bowed again, though the Shogun could not see this while he headed to the entrance of the estate. "Thank you. I look forward to eventually meeting you there."

[thegreatestofheck]

warm //Fred Weasley\\

warnings - mentions of death, angst and a lot of it, really like there is nothing here except angst and also Fred dies again. also, I didn’t edit this.  synopsis - you and your husband survive the second wizarding war, but so do some of Voldemort’s old followers, and they are hell bent on revenge.  pairings - muggle!reader x Fred Weasley a/n - so this is based on a dream I had a long while ago and I just needed to get off my chest. I hope y’all enjoy it. Also, sorry, I’m not british and it feels weird typing Mum and not being british so I just used Mom. I apologize. And yes, the first part of this was an actual dream that I had once and it absolutely broke me to pieces. So, here I am sharing it with you so that you can all cry too. You’re welcome. 

~~~

You had spent many Christmases with the Weasleys, but this was your first Christmas celebrating as a Weasley. 

You twisted the simple copper bands around your fingers, as you always did when you were nervous. Fred Weasley, your husband, reached out to take your hand without even looking at your fidgetiness. He knw you well enough to know when you were nervous. 

“You already know everyone here,” he said in a low whisper. “There’s no need to be afraid.” 

“I’m not scared of your family!” You told him quietly with a smile before placing your other hand gently over your stomach. “I’m just...nervous about telling them.”

Fred looked over at you as if suddenly remembering that you were expecting your first kid, who would be the second of Molly and Arthur’s grandkids, right after Victoire. He smiled at you and then smiled down at your hand. 

“George and Angelina already know, what’s the difference from telling everyone else?” 

“Well, let’s think,” you hummed sarcastically, tapping your free hand against your chin. “Oh, right, there’s like a million people in your family and I have a paralyzing fear of public speaking.” 

Fred laughed and it sent your stomach rolling like it always did. Your dad had warned you about what would happen after your honeymoon period had ended, how the butterflies might go away, but it had been almost a year and every time Fred smiled, your entire body still burst with joy at the sight of it. 

“We’ll just go in and figure it out from there, yeah?” He said, with a side smile and his never fading confidence. You squeezed his hand and smiled back. 

“Yeah.” 

You sucked in one last calming breath as Fred lifted his hand to knock on the wooden door. It was your final chance at peace before the world decsended into the chaos that was the Weasley-Potter-Granger-Johnson-Delacour-y/l/n family. 

Arthur opened the door and barely had time to recognize that it was you and Fred before Molly let out a cry of joy and ran to greet you. 

“My dear y/n!” Molly Weasley wrapped you in a tight hug. “How are you? How was Spain? Didn’t run into any trouble I hope?” 

“Mom!” Ginny laughed, pulling her mother away from you. “Merlin’s Beard, let her breathe!” 

“Hey, Gin,” you whispered as she pulled you in for a short squeeze. 

“Hey, sis.” 

Ginny escorted you to the dining room where the others were waiting eagerly to greet you. George and Angelina stood back, watching you and Fred with knowing smiles. Hermione let out a squeal of excitement at the sight of you, tossing Ron’s arm from around her shoulders so she could run to embrace you. 

Throwing her arms around your neck almost threw you off balance, but Fred was right behind you to keep you steady. 

“The house looks amazing,” you said Hermione pulled away. You looked up at the tall ceilings, the crooked paintings on the wall, the charmed knitting needles doing their own thing in a vacant chair. “Just like it always has been.” 

Fred snaked an arm around your waist, but not before Hermione and Ginny pulled you away to chat. 

“And who is this lovely lady?” Fred asked, walking over to a brunette standing beside Percy. The girl blushed and extended a hand. 

“This is my friend, Aubrey,” Percy told, the same level of sobriety as always. 

“Friend,” Ginny mouthed to you with air quotes. You laughed, just as easily as you always had. 

“Are Bill and Fleur here yet?” You asked. “I haven’t had the chance to get my hands on that baby of theirs.” 

“Not yet,” Angelina said as she walked over to join the group of girls. You could see the smirk on her face as she settled in beside you near the fireplace. “You’re going to have to forcibly take Victoire from Bill. He doesn’t like to let her go.” 

“She’s gonna be a daddy’s girl I see,” you teased and the girl’s laughed. 

“If Bill has anything to say about it,” Ginny added. 

Fred and George fell quickly back into their usual antics, leaving you and Angelina to watch with amused smiles from the side. 

“So,” you said quietly once the two of you were alone. “When is he asking?” 

Angelina sighed. 

“He refuses to tell me. Said something about waiting for the right moment.” You rolled your eyes. Fred had said the same thing. “Have you seen the ring?” 

“Oh, definitely.”

“What does it look like?” 

“I can’t tell you, Ang! It’s a surprise!” 

Angelina nudged you gently with her elbow, but not too hard. 

“Have you told your parents about...?” She nodded down to your stomach, sure to keep her voice low. 

“Of course I did,” you said. “My mom is just excited that her little girl’s all grown up and my dad is hoping for another magical baby.” 

“Right. How is your sister doing?” 

“She’s good. Out there living her best magical life.” There was only the faintest trace of bitterness in your voice. 

Both of your parents were muggles. Your sister ended up being a witch, but you, unfortunately, did not. Still, you and your family had always been exposed to magic, having been family friend’s with Angelina and the rest of the Johnson’s for almost your entire life. It was Angelina who introduced you to the twins when you were nine, Angelina who forced all three of you to hang out until the twins actually started to like you, Angelina who convinced Fred to ask you out, and so, naturally, it was Angelina (and George) who was that first to know about your baby. 

“Have you picked out any names yet?” Angelina asked, leaning in even closer. Your eyes sparkled as you looked at her, the very subject making nearly burst with joy. You wanted to tell her, oh how you wanted to tell her, but you and Fred had promised to keep it a secret, even from Angelina and George. 

“I can’t say just yet,” you replied. Angelina raised an eyebrow. 

Not much later, Bill and Fleur arrived, baby Victoire in her daddy’s arms. You nearly jumped out of your seat with excitement. Bill took one look at your face and nearly hid Victoire behind his wife, who simply laughed. After another long round of greetings, Arthur finally called everyone to the table. 

“Our family grows every year,” he said, his eyes beginning to swim with tears. “Each and every one of us has lived through the unimaginable.” 

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, knowing that everyone around you had fought in a war that you didn’t even know was going on. Once again, Fred reached out to grab your hand under the table without even looking at you. 

“I am so proud to get to call you my family,” Arthur said, choking up even more. Molly reached up a shaking hand and placed it over his. He looked down at her and she smiled. You pictured yourself there one day, surrounded by an enormous family, full of joy and happiness and memories despite all the pain the world would inevitably throw your way. You looked over at Fred and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. 

“We have an announcement,” you said suddenly, smiling as you stood. Angelina immediately blossomed into a grin, while Fred turned white. You looked around at all the expectant faces watching you. 

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. His lightning bolt scar had begun to fade in the last year and a half since the Dark Lord was defeated. His glasses were almost always broken, but Hermione had taught Ginny the spell to fix it. 

Ron Weasley. No longer was he Harry’s best friend or the last of the Weasley boys. He had made a name for himself. Hunting down dark wizards to every corner of the world, the world was safer with him in it. 

Hermione Granger, on her way to becoming the first, and youngest, female Minister of Magic. With all her studying and hard work and dedication, she never lost that childlike twinkle in her eye. 

Ginny Weasley, chaser for the Holyhead Harpies. No one could beat her. With an iron grit and nerves of steel, no one could stare her down and make it out on the other side. Yet she was still the kindest person you knew. 

Fleur Weasley, a kind and loving woman, despite all the pain she suffered. 

Angelina Johnson, a wickedly talented witch and the best friend a girl could ask for. 

Percy Weasley, a pain in the arse, but the constant voice of reason. 

Bill Weasley, always find the best in every situation, even when things are the most dire. 

George Weasley, who never had an end to all the jokes and smiles, even in the darkest of times. 

Molly Weasley, who gave everything she had to her kids and kept on giving. 

Arthur Weasley, who’s courage and loyalty to his family kept them all alive for this long. 

Aubrey....well, you didn’t know her that well, but she had a kind smile and a wicked sense of fashion. 

And Fred, your Freddie, who made you laugh even when you wanted to cry, who held your hair back as you violently vomited in the toilet, who would build forts with you in your tiny loft and remind you to water your plants and feed the cat, who was more than willing to give up his joke shop and travel the world with you if that was what you wanted. Your solid rock, your standing place, your hope when the world was nothing but bleak. Your everything. 

You looked at each one of their faces and remembered how much you loved them and how grateful you were to have them in your life. And you couldn’t hold your secret in any longer. 

“Fred and I are-”

The wall beside you exploded into a million pieces, sending you flying forward. You barely heard Fred scream your name over the sounds of the others shrieking and the ringing in your ears. 

You hit the stone ground hard, the air squeezing painfully from your lungs. Your squeezed your eyes shut, praying for the high pitched squeal in your ears to fade. Once it had, all you were left with was screaming. Your eyes refused to open quickly. All you could do was blink. Dust and ash floated around your vision. Bursts of blue and green and red light flew across the room before you could even recognize it. 

“Ang!” You heard a voice cry. 

“Here!” Someone replied. 

You stood as quickly as your trembling legs allowed you to, pulling yourself by the fireplace mantel. All around you, more spells were shot back and forth through the house. You pressed yourself as tightly against the wall as you could manage, hoping to not get hit by anything stray. 

“Aubrey!” Percy shouted, grabbing hold of her wrist from between the legs of a fallen chair. 

“Go!” Arthur shouted over the cackling of the intruders and the shattering of picture frames. “We’ll find you. Just go!” 

With a hiss and a pop, Percy and Aubrey disappeared from your sight. You wished you could Apparate now. But you wouldn’t leave until you found Fred.

Taking in a deep breath as if diving under water, you ducked and rolled into the fireplace where you were hoping it would be a little more safe. 

You searched through the chaos with your eyes, afraid to move from your spot, for any sign of your husband. Your heart soared as you thought you saw him, only to realize that it was George pulling Angelina into a tight hug before following in Percy’s footsteps. 

You met Angelina’s gaze just before George Apparated them away, her eyes going wide and her lips just beginning to form the shape of your name. Your heart jumped into your throat. 

“y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call. 

“I’m here!” You weren’t sure how far your voice carried over the sound of mini explosions, or if it was even safe to give away your position at all, but anything was better right now than being alone. 

Your heart pounded in your ears as you scanned the dining room for any sign of him, but the dust and the smoke was filling the room rather quickly and it was becoming difficult to see. You could hear someone screaming and for a moment you feared it was Victoire. 

The screaming became too much and you covered your ears with your hands, only to discover that it had been you that was screaming, not anyone else. Your voice echoed through the fireplace. 

Finally, through the haze Fred came barreling through. You let out a cry of joy, lurching forward at the sight of him, leaving the safety of your hiding place.. 

“Avada-” 

You reached forward with all your might, seeing a smile on his face as he reached out to grab hold of your arm. As soon as his skin met yours, there was a shout from someone else, almost like a warning cry, and your stomach lurched, the familiar feeling of Apparating. 

You squeezed your eyes tight, not wanting to watch the world spin out of control around you while you were taken to wherever it was the Fred wanted you to go. You thought of your trip to Spain, of the beautiful countryside where there was no one for miles. In the sleepless nights since you had returned and through the bouts of horrible morning sickness, that countryside was peaceful enough to calm you down. 

So, when the spinning sensation stopped and you finally opened your eyes, you were surprised to find yourself standing on those same countryside. Fred quickly pulled his hand from yours as he landed. Before you could even question why he brought you both here, your stomach churned again, but this time, it wasn’t magic. Your baby heavily disagreed with your husband’s quick way of travelling. 

After emptying your guts into the grass, you straightened and looked up at the blue sky. 

“It’s still so beautiful here, Freddie,” you said, letting your eyes close as the gentle breeze blew through your hair. “But why bring us here? Why not somewhere-”

Your heart dropped into your stomach as you turned around to face him. 

He lay on his back, arms out beside him as he stared up at the beautiful sky above him. Only, he wasn’t staring. His eyes weren’t seeing at all. 

“Freddie?” 

You walked over to him, your heart roaring to life, beating so wildly in your chest, you feared you might explode. 

Dropping to the ground beside him, you fought back the water that was rapidly obscuring your vision. 

“Freddie.” You reached out to take his hand, only to find him cold as stone. A horrified gasped came from your mouth. Nothing about Fred had ever been cold. He was light and life and everything warm under the sun. His soul burned like a thousand infernos, heating everything in his wake. His heart was a million suns beating in unison, to the same rhythm as yours. Nothing about Fred was ever cold. 

Except, now his hands. Now the distant, glazed over look in his eyes. Now the ghost of his last smile etched onto his lips. 

Leaning over him, you could have sworn you saw a flash of green reflected in those beautiful brown eyes of his and your mouth fell open in shock. 

“Freddie!” You cried, suddenly realizing what exactly had happened. “Fred!” 

You took his cold hand in yours, bringing it to your lips. You breathed against his knuckles, hoping to give him some of the warmth that you had left in you. 

“Come on,” you whispered, letting his hand fall into your lap as you placed your own hands on his face. “Come on, breathe!” 

Your lower jaw began to quiver as tears started to drip down your cheeks. 

“You can’t leave me yet,” you whispered to him, curling your body over his. You tucked one arm under his neck, pulling him into your lap. His eyes still did not move and his ghostly smile never wavered. “Don’t leave us.” 

But his body was still cold and growing colder with every passing second. 

“Help.” Your voice broke, your words drowned out by your owns tears. “Somebody, please, help us.” 

Even if you could get your voice above a whisper, there would be no one for miles. This was the place you had wanted to go, the place where you and Fred could be alone and safe from the wizards in the dark cloaks. You had brought the yourself here because Fred didn’t leave his house alive. 

Leaning down and pressing your forehead to his chest, you let out a sob and then another one, your fingers curling around his Weasley jumper. The golden ‘G’ darkened from your tears until the entire thing was soaked through. 

“I can’t do this alone,” you said, finally lifting your head to look at his face. 

“You’re not alone,” whispered the wind. You gasped and sat up straighter, looking around for the voice. There was no one in sight. “I’m right here.”

“Freddie?” You asked, barely trusting the word that left your lips. The wind was silent. You looked back down at Fred, at Fred’s body, and tightened your jaw. You brushed away what remained of your tears. 

“I’m getting us home,” you promised him, lifting your hand to shut his eyes. “Just you wait, I’m getting us home.” 

~~~

You looked up at the Burrow. Once again, the windows were shattered, the door was broken to splinters, one wall had caved in. You could hear voices from inside, whispering, talking. A laugh rang out. Your heart soared in your chest. 

It had been weeks since you saw them last, weeks that you had been carrying Fred’s body behind you. A kindly wizard you had met along the way froze him for you so he wouldn’t decay, which felt awfully morbid, but you were grateful. Your hair was a tangled mess, your face covered in dirt and sweat and sunburnt nearly beyond recognition. 

But you had finally made it home. 

You weren’t sure you would be able to drag Fred’s body the rest of the way up to the door, but you wouldn’t need to. Before you could take another step, Angelina stepped into view. 

For a moment, she just stared at you and you simply stared back. Her eyes didn’t even move to the rolled up carpet where you had hidden Fred’s body behind you. She just stared. And then, as if a gate had suddenly been opened, she came hurtling toward you at full speed. 

You let out a single laugh just before she collided with you, pulling you in for the tightest hug she could have given. You were crying again once you were in her arms. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered against your hair. “You’re safe.”

Your legs gave out beneath you and she helped you to the ground. Everyone else inside had heard your cry and came filing out one by one until they were all standing around you. You were surprised to see even Charlie was there, the prodigal son returned home. 

“Where’s-”

Ginny didn’t even need to finish your question. From the look on your face, they all knew. 

“He-” You struggled to keep your words from shaking. Angelina squeezed your hand and helped you onto your feet. “I couldn’t leave him there.” 

The words you spoke made Harry take a step backward, the first one to fully put things together. He looked at you and then he looked back at the rug you had been dragging and his face turned white as snow. 

Angelina had to keep you upright, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other holding onto your arm. 

“I tried,” you said, looking straight toward Molly, who still didn’t fully understand. 

“Oh, god,” Ginny breathed and then let out a shuddered gasp as she finally puzzled things out. Harry took her hand and pulled her into a hug and, as soon as he did, she dissolved into tears. One by one, they each began to realize what had happened. You watched in horror as that family slowly began to fall apart. Molly shrieked, falling to her knees and Arthur following after her. Hermione immediately put her arms around Ron to stop him from walking toward the rug that held his brother. Bill stared in wide-eyed horror at his wife, who had turned her body so the baby in her arms wouldn’t be able to see the rug at your feet. Percy was still as stone. 

And George, George stared at you and you stared back unable to see anything but your husband’s face. 

“George, I’m-” 

Before you could even try to apologize, he strode toward you and snatched you out of Angelina’s arms and into his, pulling you in for an even tighter hug. And like that, the two of you finally fell apart. 

~~~

You couldn’t stand at his funeral. Your body was still so exhausted from the journey home and from trying to keep the baby inside you alive that your legs would simply no longer hold you upright. 

You were glad they had you in a wheelchair. That way, they couldn’t see your knees shake. 

Your eyes never dried the entire time. You thought you might have cried every last tear you had in your body the day you returned home, but you apparently had more inside of you. 

Aside from your family (and Lee Jordan, who stood beside Angelina), there were so many people you did not recognize. An older woman with glasses and an emerald green dress. A rather large man with bushy hair and a long beard. A blond boy who stood off to the side, away from everyone else. Two boys, one shorter and one taller, holding hands as they both stifled tears. 

You wondered how many lives Fred had touched, how many people he had made laugh, that you would never get the privilege of meeting. 

Back at the Burrow later that day, you sat next to Molly and Arthur, each of you staring blankly at the floor. You twisted your rings around your fingers, but not out of worry. You slowly pulled them off before turning to Molly. 

She looked at you, a stream of tears running from her eyes. With trembling hands, you handed the rings out to her. 

“These belong to your family,” you said, chin shaking as you tried to fight back tears. Molly shook her head, eyes closing, but she was unable to say anything. 

“Just because you are no longer married to our son, does not make you any less our daughter,” Arthur told you with the only hint of a smile that he could manage. You gasped in shuddered breaths and Molly reached out to pull you into a tight hug. 

“I’m pregnant,” you sobbed as you clung to her jumper. She ran her fingernails over your back and you were pretty sure you could feel her smile. 

“I know. Fred told me.” 

You managed a laugh as you pulled away.

“If it’s a boy, we want to name him Gideon,” you said, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. Molly sucked in a shuddering breath. “Gideon Lee. And if it’s a girl, we want to name her Persephone, but, Percy, for short.” 

Somewhere across the living room, Percy Weasley lifted his head. Aubrey was no where to be seen. 

“You saved his life at the battle you fought,” you reminded him. Percy’s eyes swam with water. “He never forgot it. This is how we say thank you.” 

Percy nodded his head slowly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he dropped his head back into his hands. 

~~~

You had a boy and a girl. 

You weren’t prepared for twins, but it didn’t matter. 

With so many of his kids moving out to start their own families, Molly prepared a room for you to stay with her and Arthur. Molly dotted on Gideon and Persephone, never wanting to put them down no matter how loudly they cried. 

“My twins were the same,” she said, smiling at the memory. Her face never turned sad. 

Some days you were perfectly fine. You could look at Persephone’s full head of bright orange hair and Gideon’s hazel eyes and see Fred and smile. And some days, you couldn’t even bare the thought of getting out of bed. But Molly and Arthur never left your side. Angelina and George were over all the time, to take care of you and the help with the kids. You couldn’t look at George for the first few weeks without breaking down completely. He understood. 

Bill and Fleur brought Victoire to play with Gideon and Persephone and Bill even let you hold her sometimes. She really was going to grow up to be a daddy’s girl. The others never failed to visit either. Even Charlie would stop by occasionally as the two grew. 

Your parents and even your wayward sister enjoyed spending time with them. You had never expected it, but the birth of your children had drawn you closer to your sister. After years of estrangement, the two of you were able to sit side by side and laugh together, as if not a day had gone by since you were ten and had no worries in the world. 

You missed Fred’s warmth every single day of your life, but you found his joy in Persephone’s laughter and Gideon’s proficiency for setting things on fire. You remembered what the wind had told you that day, that you were not alone. You were never going to be alone again, and you were grateful for it. 

You had spent many Christmases with the Weasleys and now you shared many Christmases as one of them. 

~~~

In this life, you had lost Fred after the war. In your life before, you had lost him during it. It was almost as if the universe and all it’s splinters had decided that you and Fred were not to be. You lost every game you played together, but you were willing to lose them all, so long as you got to bask for a few minutes in his light. 

~~~

tagging - @inaworldofwonder (aka the only person who liked the post I made about this story three days ago) @x-lulu (i’m not sure if you’re into harry potter, if not, im sorry) @bricksatanakinswindow (because you like harry potter and I like harry potter and you like angst and I like angst so here we are) 

none of you need to feel obligated to read this but it’s been in my head since 8th grade and i just needed to get it out. thank you. love you all.

[beardeddetectivepaper]

$185,110/$250,000

Hi world , it’s Rabeha Please read this as if I'm a member of your family . maybe your sister, daughter or a friend and as if my family who's under death now is yours. My name is Rabeha. A fresh graduate Dentist from Gaza, a fresh Dentist who was supposed to start her career and achieve the dreams she worked for but found herself losing the city she’s living in and losing any hope of a better future with it . And after a whole 6 years of studying and internship, the war had another idea

This was a big shock not only to me, but mostly to my mom who lost her all brothers, sisters and their families in a blink of an eye, my mom who lost her husband (my dad) 12 years ago when she was only in her 30s and found herself with 7 children who need to be raised and cared of,, she’s now living the sadness she experienced 12 years ago, but now the sadness of losing not only one but 27 of her loved ones, losing her whole family. Her life got destroyed again in a worse way

My loss didn’t end here, because to us Gazans, death knocks our door every single day, every new day under war is a possibility of a new loss In the 17th of December 2023, I lost another two cousins from my dad’s family with their husbands and all children who are still under the rubble till now, this shock after two months of losing my mom family was a big slap into my face, it was a harsh reminder that death didn’t stop, and that none of us is an exception in this genocide, not a woman nor a child, everyone of us is a target to the death machines above our heads This loss circle didn’t end here, cause after more than 5 times of being displaced and having to leave our house escaping from rockets and death, we returned to our house and found it almost wiped off, more than half if it was destroyed and became an unlivable place leaving us not only with tired hearts but also without a place to stay in

I introduced myself at first as a Gazan Dentist with dreams, a girl in her twenties who had career plans and goals to achieve, a human who lost a lot in a short time period. But in this war I’m most importantly a big sister who see her siblings’ future getting lost in front of her eyes, as i see my brothers who didn’t finish their university’s and my sisters who are still young and supposed to be in school, my mom and my only uncle now who found themselves forced to start from zero while they were supposed to take breath and retire after raising their children and having a stable life ,as I see them, I made it a mission to myself to save my family or who’s left alive from it, to save their future from all of this and to escape Gaza. I still only have my uncle and his family left alive beside my mom, sisters and brothers from my whole extended family, and before losing another one of them, I intend to evacuate my family of 23 members from Gaza: * Me, my mom, my 6 siblings and my brother and 3 sisters from my dad ( Lina, Ahmad, Mohammed, Yara, Sara, Dana, Alaa, Ruba, Osama and Rahaf) and my aunt Olfat * My uncle (dad’s brother), his wife, his son Hammam and his 5 daughters (Jomana, Farah, Banan, Heba and Hadeel) * My grandfather and grandmother

The situation after almost 7 months of this genocide is that Gaza’s borders are unfortunately still closed and no one can get out of it, of course unless you pay the biggest amount of money to save your life and to cross Rafah border to get to Egypt, crossing Rafah border costs around 7000 to 9000 dollars for each person and as a family of 23 persons, the amount of money we have to pay just to get to Egypt seems impossible to afford So here is How money will be spent: * paying around 7000 US Dollars to every member of my 23-member family to cross Rafah border and get safely to Egypt * Around 6000$ covering GoFundMe transaction fees (2.9% + 0.30$ per transaction) * The rest of the money will be for housing, food & etc. for a period of time in Egypt

Asking for your help is the only way I have to rescue my family’s life and future, your help may become our hope when hope is far away from us under these conditions, every dollar you can help with may save a life, bring hope to a tired heart and save a future of a youth one Please don’t read this as a tragedy story ,, I’m here to ask you to prevent it from getting more tragedy and to help us start our life all over again. I’m here to ask for your help not your sympathy , to ask you to take action whether by donating or by sharing this to everyone you know who can help, please read this with your heart and take action as if it’s your family, your mom, your siblings who are under these conditions

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

After six long months, I present to you:

Tupelo Honey

Word Count- 3k

Warnings- language, angst, discussion of abortion

A/N- With help from familiar strangers, Honey makes a choice that will change Leon's life and hers forever.

Chapter 4: Angel of The Morning

Late fall of 1968, Morning:

Honey clutched at the pillow as her hips flew towards the ceiling. Her back arched before she bent forward and twisted her free hand in Leon's thick hair. His name echoed off the bedroom walls as she came without caring if they woke Johnny this early.

Honey’s chest heaved as her body attempted to regulate her breath. Leon threw the sheets back and looked up at her. His hand absently ran up and down her stomach to her breasts and back.

“What?” Honey’s voice was sleepy as she met a green-eyed gaze. She propped up on her elbows when his brows knit together. “What's wrong?”

“Not much, love. It's just, your..” Leon's cheeks turned kinda pink, “stuff tastes different. You been eating anything new?”

“No? You mean it tastes different when I cum?”

“Just this time. You gonna start your thing?” He pointed towards Honey’s sex. “Period.”

“I don't think so. Should be around any day now though.”

Leon crawled up towards the pillows and laid down beside his girlfriend. His arm draped across her collarbone as he snuggled up to her shoulder. He nipped at the skin before kissing it. Then pressed his forehead into her neck.

Honey caught a scent of herself on him. “It even kinda smells different. I better get to the clinic just in case. I've not felt that weird other than that stomach bug.” Her nails lightly scratched Leon's forearm as she spoke. “I can't have an STI, since you went all mad and demanded my undying monogamy.”

Leon ignored her. “Maybe,” he yawned and stretched his impossibly long arms and legs straight out, “you caught a case of the pregnancy.” He sat up and leaned down to kiss her stomach.

“Don't say that!” Leon's familiar whine filled Honey’s own voice. “I won't keep it. That's legal here now.”

Leon stared back at her, “Just like that.”

“It's my body, Leonidas. Look at how short I am. Imagine this knocked up,” Honey waved a hand down the length of her naked self.

“I do.” It came out a whisper. Honey glowered. “Don't pull that face on me, Gracie. I know it's your body. We just ain't exactly safe with our shaggin’ are we? Leavin’ it up to chance. Then you get angry if there's one on the way. Keep it. End it. Give it up for adoption. I know it's YOUR choice. You tell me all the bloody time about it being your body. I respect that because I love you. Before you give me cheek, I think about having a baby with you loads.”

“Leon that's not what we want.” Honey sat up on her haunches beside him. “Look at us. We share a one bedroom flat with a ginger con man that we don't even sleep in half the time based on whether he wants to fuck someone or not. Our loo is literally a closet, and we have to shower at your parents’. There's one dresser and half a wardrobe for both of us. Where the hell would we even PUT a baby let alone afford to have one.”

“We've saved money! My parents would help us get a proper house or flat. Or stay with them until we could.”

“Oh sure. Us, your parents, your Yia Yia, one uncle and a baby. Sounds cozy.”

“I grew up in a place with more living there than that. We could get a loan.”

“What will we put down for occupations, Leon?!” Honey was losing her cool. A wave of nausea hit her, but she choked it back. “Occasional actor, waiter, and FBI fugitive?! I can't out myself like that.”

“We lie. I'm an actor. I'm sure you know loads of people who could fake it. Look respectable. I'll cut my hair and clean up my face.” Leon was equally annoyed, hands fidgeting in his lap. His legs started to bounce up and down as he reached, but fumbled with the nightstand drawer.

“Don't you fucking dare cut that hair. Who will we even pretend to be? Patti Boyd and fucking George Harrison? I'm an awful blonde and your hair would take hours to straighten. Leon we would have to fake marriage certificates. That's fraud. Real and proper, honest prison time fraud.”

Leon ignored her and finally yanked the drawer practically in half. The handle came off in his hands causing him to mumble under his breath and drop it to the ground. In a fury he tossed the contents aside in a search for something Honey wasn't sure of.

“If you're about to get high, I'll fucking leave you right now.” Honey got up and snapped her fingers in Leon's face. “We're not done talking about this.”

He looked up at her, his green eyes ablaze for the first time in their relationship. “I'm not GETTING high! Will you quit talking to me like I'm a bloody fucking child? You and Johnny always like I'm mad or deficient. I have a university degree from Cambridge, and I speak three languages. I'm observant not stupid.”

“That's.. That's not what I meant,” Honey bit her lip. “You are one of the smartest guys I've ever met. I just.. Worry about the amount of opium you started sneaking into your pot. You're working less and letting Johnny call the shots.”

Leon was lost in his search, “You’re just jealous of someone else pushing me around?” He waved his hand dismissively before Honey could answer. “I’m fine, love. I'm just a bit stressed is all. It helps me relax.”

“Leon, it's heroin. You know what happened to my uncle.”

He ignored her, “I’ll be swell. Promise. Plus I think this idea Johnny has finally.. DAMMIT WHERE'S THAT TOSSER OF A RING?!”

Something fell off the bed onto the wooden floor with a PING! Leon got down on all fours, stark naked and put his eye to the wood. His arm outstretched and came back to him with an object between his long fingers. He held it aloft towards Honey and took her tiny hand inside of his large one. Honey stopped breathing.

“It's not exactly proper, but you aren't exactly a girl into convention, are ya?” Leon smiled up at his girlfriend. He kissed the back of Honey’s hand. “You think better of me than I think of myself. I want to make you happy, and I want to be a good husband and daddy. If this meeting tonight doesn't go well, I'll stop acting. No more pot or opium or acid or coke right bloody now. I'll get a proper job and we can get a proper house and when the time comes, you choose whatever you want. Stay home. Go to work, I'll stay home. So you aren't loaded down by the patriarchy or whatever.”

“Leon,” Honey’s face was pale and she started to swoon. She saw the way his hand swallowed hers, and panicked. Her fucked up brain saw herself lost in Leon the same way.

“Even if we go to the court, just us. Even if we have to leave London because you're worried. I'll go with you. To India like you sorted out before we met. I don't want you to give up on any dream because of this baby. Or me.”

Before she could get any answer out, Leon slid the ring on Honey’s finger. It was stunning, carved marble and amethyst. She knew it was old, Grecian.

“It's purple because Dionysus cried and spilled his wine onto a maiden he offended by his drunkenness. Artemis protected her, turned her to crystal and she absorbed his wine. It sobered him. Your love, when I'm not foolish, will sober me.”

“Leon,” Honey said again, unable to say anything else.

“Will you please marry me, Gracie?”

The question was so pure. His eyes were so green and hopeful. Honey couldn't think or speak around the lump in her throat. But then..

“I can't,” she whispered. “I have to go to the clinic. You've got an early shift at the restaurant.”

Honey was numb as she pulled on some clothes and her coat. She left the flat and Leon naked on his knees in the bedroom.

----

Later that afternoon:

Honey stared straight passed the nurse as she explained exactly what would happen if she decided to not keep the baby. How they suggest she not be alone and to have someone willing to care for her. To make sure there's no infection.

“Ultimately, dove, it's your decision. Unless you're cold-hearted, it might do your head in. It's not as easy as you modern girls think. You might not regret it, but you might. You prepared? Is your husband keen on this idea too?” The nurse nodded at the ring.

“Oh.. we aren't.. I didn't really give him a choice?”

“Well let's see if you're even pregnant first. Then I want you to go back to your partner and have a good talk. Promise me you'll do that?”

The young woman smiled. It was tentative and nervous. “Yeah. Ok. But it won't change my mind.” She held out her arm for the blood draw and took a cup and left for the loo.

Honey sat on the stairs of the clinic and bent down in a wave of nausea. It was amazing that now she knew she was knocked up the symptoms seemed to worsen. Like how noticing a paper cut makes it suddenly sting.

Her breasts were swollen and a fire built in her chest and stomach every time she laid down. What was the absolute worst, she came to realize, how mean she had been to Leon. A total uncool bitch. Honey looked down at the amethyst on her ring finger and began to cry.

“Hey man, you ok?” a voice asked. American.

“Jesus, don't call her man! What is wrong with you?” a female American voice.

“Leave me alone! Last time I was here, I was in Vietnam. I'm freaking the fuck out, Sel.”

“weren't you a cu-”

“Uh!! This is about them, not me.”

One of them sat down next to Honey. “My brother is right, are you ok? Honey, right?”

Honey looked up to meet eyes that almost took her breath away. A young woman around her age smiled and it reminded her of Leon. Her shoulder length hair had soft waves and curls, but her eyes. Her eyes somehow looked like Honey’s.

“Do I know you?” she squinted her eyes and tilted her head.

“Not yet,” the woman’s cheeks pinked a little. “We're.. Leon's..”

“Cousins!” a male voice interjected.

“I didn't know Leon had cousins from- Fuck me on the tube.”

“Tempting, but I don't think Leon would be down for that.” The inflection of his voice, despite being yank, was so much like his.. cousin’s. “My sister and I have been looking all over this stupid city for you the last few days. To meet you before we left. Leon told my sister you were here. He seemed pretty pissed. This is an uh,” he gestured at the building.

“Abortion clinic?”

“You sure that's how you want to handle it?” the young woman questioned softly.

“Well I don't think Leon has the balls to push me down the stairs,” Honey shrugged.

Leon’s cousin, if that's who she was heaved a sigh. “I like to think I have a sharp tongue and a bit of a shrewd mind. I get it from MY mom. Can I be straight with you?”

“I mean I guess it's easier from a stranger?”

“I know for a FACT you won't be giving up on anything. You are already more involved in changing the world than most people your age. And that doesn't have to stop because you're pregnant. Activists can have children or partners. Take her with you! Take Leon! You come from a long line of shit kickers, right?”

Honey narrowed her eyes. She studied this woman’s face again. Her eyes. HER eyes somehow. But Leon’s features. If she had a daughter, this is who she would want her to be. Sharp, like herself, but optimistic like her daddy.

Daddy.. “Did you say her? How do you know any of this? I swear Leon’s family is here or in Greece. You've got to be close, this one is like fucking Patty Duke. Identical cousins. Man you sure you're cool?”

He scratched his body and Honey heard a tinkling. Then she saw the dog tags. “Yeah I'm gravy.” He looked the way Leon had when she rejected him earlier. It broke Honey’s heart all over.

“Drafted?”

He held out his tags and had this longing in his eyes, “Love.”

“You went to Vietnam for love?”

“I stayed for it. Hardest thing I've ever done besides sobriety. Having a kid and an old man is a fucking piece of cake. If you were gonna go through with.. Termination, I think you would've done it right?”

“I just don't know if I have good enough of a reason besides maybe it'll be fine. I don't know what is freaking me the hell out! We both have happily married parents!! And grandparents. But I've put so much on hold for men. I've let them.”

“Yeah but Leon’s not like that.”

“No. He's not. But the drugs and the hare brained schemes terrify me. My uncle, Lenny Bruce? He ran cons with his wife that he knocked up and they were just. Tumultuous. He loved heroin almost more than Honey and Kitty. It killed him in the end. I don't want Leon and I to be the fluke too.”

“If I tell you to say the FIRST thing that comes to your mind about Leon. No thinking, open your mouth and speak. What is the first part of him you think of.”

“His kind eyes. Your eyes,” she gestured towards the man. “Yours are a bit lost, but they're still just as gentle.”

He bit his lip. Honey noticed it trembled just a tad. “Same thing,” his voice hoarse. “What's the first thing that you would DO for him?”

“Be with him in every life we've ever lived and ever will.”

The woman beside her took Honey’s hand in both of hers. Her annoying familiarity forced Honey to listen to everything she was about to say.

“My parents came from a similar taboo situation. They were immigrants (my dad twice), during the worst war. Activists who got in a bit of a mess. They were separated for a while when my mom was pregnant with me. She had me alone. Yet they have been together for OVER 25 years.”

“I cannot imagine two people better suited for each other than my parents. They trust one another IMPLICITLY and are both still very attracted to one another. Trust me. It's gross.!

“Now they have a successful business. My younger brother and I have our own jobs to pay for ourselves, but our parents are paying for us to go to school. Marriage or partnerships are work, but I have seen that it's worth it. I hope I can be as fearless as they are one day.”

Honey took her hand back and rubbed her face. “Why are you two so hell bent on me staying knocked up? Like there’s something real heavy you're not telling me.”

“We're just like, REALLY invested in Leon’s happiness!” the woman exclaimed.

“Or we could just tell her? I saved Dave that way.”

Honey narrowed her eyes, “Convincing.”

“You and Leon and this baby are going to literally save the world?”

“Alright,” Leon's doppelganger decided to take a turn. “Someone took me away from our mom when I was just a baby. I was raised pretty abusively. But I found my parents, OUR parents,” he gestured at his sister. “They just.. welcomed me in, AND my other adopted siblings.”

“You are so, so much like her. You and Leon are like BOTH of our parents. Really we Kostases.. Kosti? We leap without looking. If we fly, we fly. So I know what Leon's decision is. You said it yourself, he's worth being with in every life you live. Isn't that your answer?”

Honey sighed again and stood up. She looked back and forth between the man and woman claiming to have her best interest at heart. The siblings with her eyes and Leon’s. “I can't just rush into this.”

“Says the woman who fell in love on the set of a porno film.”

Honey ignored him. Ignored how he knew that. She put her hand on her stomach tenderly. “I have to say, if we have this kid, I'm not sure why, but I hope it.. she's like you. What's your name?”

“Selina. After the moon.”

Honey smiled in a knowing way. “Stick around, I'm sure Leon would love to see you.”

“We can't, but you'll understand all of this one day.”

“I'll see you again?”

“I promise.”

Then Honey and the cousins parted ways. She and Leon had a lot to discuss.

Tag: @neuroticpuppy @elliethesuperfruitlover @messengeronthemoon @super-unpredictable98 @bisexualnathanyoung @forenschik @nightmonsters @firstpersonnarrator @rob-private @frogs--are--bitches @ghouls-buddy @a-ghoulish-tale @bwritesstuff @icecoffeegirl @070188

[jadelotusflower]

Roundup: August 2021

This month: Jane Eyre, Wide Sargasso Sea, Don’t Call it a Cult, The Secret Garden, Showbiz Kids, Masters of the Universe: Revelation, Lucifer.

Reading Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) - I’ve been meaning to read the Wide Sargasso Sea for a long, long time, but first I thought I’d revisit the source material. I find my opinion hasn’t much changed - I still love the prose, still love Jane as a character, and still find Rochester extremely unappealing. The section with Jane at school is the most engaging for me, and her early time as a governess at Thornfield, but as soon as Rochester shows up I just find him so irritating I have no idea why Jane loves him so much (other than he was the first man to ever show her a scrap of attention). I mean, I know to an extent - I've read the Takes, and part of fiction is accepting what you want for the character as a reader and what they want for themselves can be two different things, and that's not the fault of the text. I can be satisfied by the ending because Jane gets what she wants, I just can’t help but wonder about a Jane who was found by John Eyre before she went to Thornfield, or who took her inheritance and made her own way after Moor House. Byronic heroes just aren't my thing I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Wide Sargasso Sea (Jean Rhys) - The first Mrs Rochester of Jane Eyre strikes an uneasy tone to a modern reader; she does not utter a word in the novel, is depicted as animalistic and almost demonic, her story only told in a self-serving manner by Rochester, and conveniently disposed of so Jane can return to claim him. Rhys reimagines Bertha as Antoinette, a “white Creole” of Jamaica in a postcolonial take on the racial/social prejudices and hierarchy only hinted at in Eyre, where Bertha being Creole primarily an aspect of her Otherness, and in which Rochester describes himself as being desired as a husband because he was "of good race" . In Sea, although Antoinette is white (passing, perhaps), he sees her "not English or European either" and this contributes to his rejection of her (and perhaps his willingness to believe she is mad). The novel is surprisingly short - it skips over the meeting and courtship of Antoinette and Rochester (tellingly unnamed in the novel) entirely, jumping directly from her childhood/coming of age to the couple already married, and over much of Bertha's (renamed by Rochester) sad life in the attic. Still, there's a density to the writing, much is implied beyond the sparse use of words and recurring imagery - subjugation, reflection, and of course, fire - when freed slaves (Rhys changes the timeframe to after the passing of the Emancipation Act of 1833) set fire to Antoinette's family plantation, a pet parrot whose wings have been clipped by her English step-father Mason, cannot flee and falls to a fiery doom, in a grim omen of Bertha's fate. It did, however, leave me wanting more - I understand Rhys' stylistic choices and restraint, but in her effort to give voice to the voiceless, Antoinette/Bertha remains somewhat an enigma. Don’t Call it a Cult: Keith Raniere and the women of NXIVM (Sarah Berman) - I continue to be disturbed but intrigued by the NXIVM case, not only because of my abhorrence of MLMs/pyramid schemes, but my bafflement as to how this thoroughly unremarkable man was able to hold sway over so many women. My mild criticism of the two documentaries on this subject was that they tended to jump around in time so you never really got a good idea of what happened when. This book provides a well researched, detailed summary of events and linear chronology of Raniere’s perverse pathology reaching all the way back to childhood, and so is both an excellent supplement to the already informed, and broad overview to those new to the case. Berman is a Vancouver-based journalist who was present at Raniere’s trial and gives insight into witness testimony, supported by her own interviews and extensive research. There's less of a focus on the sensationalised celebrity members, with greater emphasis on the lesser known victims - including the three Mexican sisters who were all abused by Raniere, one of whom was kept confined to a room for years. It's difficult reading, consolation being the

knowledge that Raniere is rotting in prison and that his crimes finally caught up with him. Watching The Secret Garden (dir. Marc Munden) - Spoilers, if one needs a spoiler warning for a 110 year old novel. One of those stories that is adapted every generation, and generally I have no problem with this, since new adaptations can often bring something new or be a different take on old material (see Little Women 2019). But a part of me can’t help feel why bother with this when the perfect 1993 version exists. There is an Attempt at something new with this film, moving the setting forward to 1947 (Mary’s parents having died during the Partition), and turning the garden from a small walled secret to a mystical, huge wonderland full of ferns and flowers and endless sun. But in doing so, the central metaphor is lost - rather than Mary discovering something abandoned and run wild, gently bringing it back to life with love and care, she merely discovers a magical place that requires no effort on her part. There’s also less of a character arc for Mary, remaining unpleasant far into the proceedings, forcing Colin to visit the garden instead of it being his true wish, and generally succeeding by imposing her will on everyone else. In many ways she’s more like Burnett's other child heroine Sarah Crewe - the film opens I’m with her telling stories to her doll including Ramayana, which is eerily reminiscent of Alfonso Cuaron's (also perfect) 1995 adaptation of A Little Princess. But I suppose a sliver of credit where it's due - Julie Walters' Mrs Medlock is less of an antagonist, with Colin Firth's Lord Craven being Mary's primary obstacle. There's also a subplot with Mary's mother's depression following the death of her sister being the reason for her neglect (and Merlin alum Rupert Young shows up briefly as Mary's father) but like shifting the time period, there just doesn't seem to be a point to it. The climax of the film involves the Manor burning down (writer Jack Thorne stealing from Rebecca too, lol), with Mary and Craven have a very calm conversation as fire and smoke surrounds them. It’s all very bizarre, but also…rather dull? Don't bother with this, just watch the 1993 film again. Showbiz Kids (dir. Alex Winter) - a really interesting documentary on the titular subject - Winter was himself a child actor on Broadway before his film career kicked off in The Lost Boys and Bill and Ted, and has been able to assemble a broad range of interview subjects - Mara Wilson, Evan Rachel Wood, Wil Wheaton, Jada Pinkett Smith among others - former child actors, those still in the business, and some up and comers like Disney star Cameron Boyce (who I was sad to see in the coda has passed away). We also follow two young hopefuls - Marc, attending acting classes and auditioning in pilot season, yet to book a job but his parents are invested in "his" dream, and Demi, already established on Broadway but having to start to make choices between a career and a childhood. There's no voiceover, no expert opinions in this, letting the actors speak for themselves, but there is a telling juxtaposition of Marc returning home, jobless but having fun in the pool with his friends, while Demi has to cancel the summer camp she had been so looking forward to because she has booked a new role. The film is fairly even handed, but ultimately I took away that there just seems to be more harm than not in this industry, and abuses of many kinds. It does make you wonder about the ethics of child acting, at least in the current system where the cautionary tales are plentiful. Masters of the Universe: Revelation (episodes 1-5) - Mild spoilers I guess? I was never really into He-Man as a kid, other than the Secret of the Sword movie, so most of the in jokes and references in this went over my head. I have to admit, it was actually seeing all the outrage that made me want to check this out and see what all the complaining was about. I actually…really enjoyed it?!? I’m sympathetic to the complaints of a bait and switch (creators really need to learn to say

“just wait and see”), but other than that in my view the rest seemed completely unfounded. Adam/He-Man being killed in the first episode and the impact that has on Eternia and those left behind is actually a really interesting premise. This isn’t a TLJ situation; in contrast everyone (except Evil-Lyn) is always going on about how much they miss Adam, and the whole point of the first arc is him coming back. There’s also a nice little detail of Adam in Preternia (heroes heaven) choosing to remain as he is rather than as He-Man where all his predecessors have chosen their “ultimate” forms. I love him and his Magical Girl transformation. As for Teela - female characters can’t win, it seems. If they are perfect, they’re Mary Sues, if they have flaws, they’re unlikeable. Teela is Going Through things and is on a journey, but I often feel (and it seems the case here) that people confuse a character arc with author intent. No! Just because a character says/does something it doesn't mean you're supposed to agree with them! Some of Teela's actions may be petty and her demeanor less than sweet, but people make bad choices as a response to grief, and I actually thought her anger over Adam never telling her his secret and how that manifested was a pretty interesting take. I'll be interested to see the next half of the season, and ignore the ragebait youtube commentary. One more thing - Evil-Lyn (perfectly voiced by Lena Headey) was an absolute delight. Lucifer (season 5 part 2): They’ve basically given up on the procedural side of things by now and are leaning heavily into the mythology, which works for me since the case of the week is always the least interesting part of any show. It also struck me this season that there’s gender parity in the main cast (Lucifer, Amenadiel, Dan and then Chloe, Maze, Ella, Linda) - and actually, that’s more women than men. How often does that happen?!? I can’t say I’m particularly engaged with the Lucifer/Chloe pairing, but am happy to go along with it since that’s where the whole plot revolves. The best scenes for me this season were with God’s Dysfunctional Family, even if the lead up to the finale felt rushed (I understand the need to wrap things up in case of cancellation but still). I would have liked to see more of the sibling dynamics between the angels and less romantic drama, but hey. The character death got me, as well. I didn't see it coming and I didn't realise how much I had enjoyed that character until they were gone and well...it got me. I see the last season is coming soon, I'm not exactly sure where they can go from here, but looking forward to it nonetheless. Writing I was actually quite sick this month with a throat infection, so wasn't in the best frame of mind to get anything finished like I had planned to. I'm going to hold off posting the word count this month and roll it over to September when hopefully I've actually posted things.

[detroitbydark]

Previous part (as well as fan art and fic?!) can be found here

Chp 12

Character: Commander Fox x Mouse (reader), Padme Amidala, Bail Organa

Warnings: idiots in love, mild pining

Summary: The one where Fox knows what to expect but is still incensed when it happens. Bail Organa is a good bro to everyone. Padme Amidala is rocking motherhood and is not so subtle in her matchmaking attempt.

A/N:  I apologized in advance but your gonna see that I'm working to make things better I promise! As always thanks to my lovelies @skdubbs​ @crimson-dxwn​ and @thelastbattlecry​ for being my sounding boards/betas/listening ears.

-----------------

Naboo was beautiful. Not in the way that a rare gem or a fancy painting was, where one appreciated their grandeur because that was expected. Where they were looked at clinically and picked apart for sport.

No, Naboo was beautiful in a way that made Mouse's heart clench. The overwhelming majesty of the lakes and waterfalls bringing a tear to her eyes the first time she’d laid eyes on them. She’d never seen so much water, so much green. She could scarcely believe she wasn’t experiencing a fever dream in the claustrophobic bacta tank back on Coruscant. Even now, after two months, the view from the Naberrie’s Lake home (more like a palace than any home Mouse has ever imagined) gave her pause.

It was, in short, heaven.

The summer months had left the temperature near to perfect and the waters had receded from the great pastoral valleys, leaving them open for exploration, picnics and gathering wildflowers.

Mouse found herself sleeping most nights with the door to the small balcony off her room open, the not so far-off sound of running water lulling her to sleep. The nightmares had not gone, a twisted version of a reality she’d lived, but she rarely woke up screaming anymore. Instead she came to with a racing heart and thin sheen of sweat decorating her skin. She was haunted by the voice of Palpatine, the flash of light as Fox fires on her, the image of him being lifted and strangled by the force wielding Anakin Skywalker. It still happens like clockwork, the dreams. She just no longer has it in her to scream.

The senator had noticed the deep circles under her eyes quickly. She was a good woman, Padmé, and while Mouse was unsure whether she’d call her a friend just yet she did know she enjoyed speaking with her. Upto the birth of the babies, they’d taken daily walks, short sojourns along the estate’s lands. It was often the time Padmé had her husband speaking with his healer. Mouse was eternally grateful, as she wasn’t comfortable in the Jedi’s presence. To have him walking with them through the millaflower fields would have soured the experience. She liked to think Padmé realized such things without her saying it. When she did speak of her husband, there was a carefulness to her words, as if she had to think each one out to paint him in his best light. Mouse hasn’t spoken about Fox to anyone, and she wonders if she did would she feel the need to tread carefully? She doesn’t think she would.

Mouse's relationship with Padmé changes after the birth of the babies a short two months after their arrival.

Luke and Leia join the galaxy on a stiflingly hot night during high summer. Heat lightning flashes and grumbles in the distance as the doctor works to bring the children safely into the world. They hadn’t planned for two. Anakin paced the room, like an agitated Nexu, checking in with his wife after each pass. Staff and visitors were at a minimum, so Mouse volunteered to help as she could. It was still a state of the art set-up, one fit for a former queen, senator, and much loved daughter of Naboo. There was little to be done but sit at the Senator’s side and blot her head with a cool cloth while she worked, grunting and pushing through the labor like tackling an obstacle in her way on the senate floor.

Leia comes first, a squalling indignant thing already full of life and the need to tell everyone about it. The nurse attending offers her to Anakin while Padmé continues to labor. Mouse sees the fear in his eyes as he shakes his head, his eyes already trailing back to his wife. Mouse holds the bundle of blankets and moves out of the way, gesturing for the young Jedi to take her place near his wife.

“She needs you.” She says softly, fighting back the urge to tremble in his presence.

“Ani?” Padmé’s voice rings out, for the first time uncertain. That’s all Skywalker needs to go to her side.

Mouse watches as he takes her hand in his, kisses her fingers, tells her she’s doing great, that she’ll be fine. It feels voyeuristic watching them so she focuses on the little girl in her arms, who stares up with bright blue eyes. Mouse melts.

Luke is the wildcard, the surprise no one knew to expect. He’d been hiding behind his sister until just days ago when her last scan had shown an extra heartbeat and an extra head. Now he was malpositioned and the doctor has to manually correct it. Padmé makes an awful, wounded noise but pushes nonetheless when she’s finally given the clear to. The boy makes his entrance as a bolt of lightning cuts through the sky and the lights flicker. He’s quiet, and smaller than his minutes-older sister. There’s a tense period where he makes no sound at all, and a collective breath is held until he begins to make a soft plaintive noise before he’s laid against his mother’s chest. Mouse offers the wrapped baby to the nurse and she soon joins her brother. Mouse has to turn away as Anakin leans in and kisses his wife.

When she sleeps that night there is no nightmare. She dreams of her own swollen belly, a baby kicking away while Fox’s strong arms wrap around her middle and hold her protectively. She can feel his full lips as they press against her temple. She can feel the rumble of his voice.

The beginning of our family, cyar’ika.

She wakes with a choked sob and doesn’t sleep the rest of the night.

—-

“Run it by me again, Chancellor.”

It felt like they’d been in the black forever. The jump to the small outer rim was no milk run. Fox glances out the window again as they break atmo and the black of space turns to the bright blue of Naboo’s sky. He was ready to be off the ship. He’d never tell his brothers, would rather die than admit it, but he hated hyperspace travel. It wasn’t just the jump in or the fall out of it either. It was the whole damn thing. It was unnatural. He was meant to have his feet on terra and that was all there was to it.

The itinerary had them making a quick stop in Theed to take on supplies, then another bit of travel - this time in the blue instead of the black - to reach their destination, the Lake District.

“Commander, relax. This is a pleasure cruise,” Bail enthuses smoothly, “nothing to worry about.”

“Then why me and not one of the other boys? Thire would have been fine for this.”

Bail rolls his eyes. “Thire is a stick in the mud and I much prefer your company and conversation.” Bail explains “I’m going to spend a couple days doting on my new godchildren and discussing a few matters with their lovely Senator mother, some of which you may have strong opinions about that deserve being heard.”

The last bit grabs Fox’s attention. “I don’t remember that being mentioned.”

“Oh I didn’t mention that some of your brothers will be meeting us for an impromptu - and off the books - meeting on clone personhood?”

Fox purses his lips undercover of his bucket. “No you hadn’t sir.”

Fox had learned quickly that Bail Organa’s style of governance was worlds different from the previous chancellors. The secrets Sidious kept had been dangerous to the republic, his vode and the Jedi in particular while Bail’s all seemed fairly benign and were really only used to surprise and throw Fox from a dour mood.

“Well it seems I must have forgotten to put it on the official itinerary for our visit.” The older man’s eyes sparkle with mischief.

“It seems you did, sir. I suppose it’s already been planned. It would be a shame to lose out on such an important meeting.”

Personhood. That was one of those dreams all clones shared but few ever mentioned. It seemed silly that it should even be an issue to begin with. If none survived the war it was a useless conversation to have, wasn't it? Now, with Sidious no longer pulling his dark strings, the Seppies were beginning to fall apart. They’d already fallen on Felucia and Utapau. General Grievous was dead and Count Dooku had gone to ground, but he couldn’t stay hidden forever. Maybe the idea of life after war wasn’t such a dream. It was tangibly within reach.

“Who’s joining us for this little shindig?”

Bail smirks again, “I’ve left the guest list to the Marshall Commander’s discretion.”

Fox can’t hide the excitement in his voice, “Cody?” It has been ages since he’d seen his ori’vod. Before the second battle of Geonosis and well before Mouse had -

Mouse.

Because that was a wound that refused to heal. Kriff - it wouldn’t even scab over! It merely festered and hurt like nothing else Fox had ever felt. Whoever had said out of sight, out of mind needed to keep their head on a swivel because Fox was pretty sure if he ever saw them he’d break their jaw.

Mouse was still a guest of the Senator’s. He wasn’t proud to say he’d been keeping tabs, but it was one of the only things that kept his anxiety at bay when it came to her. Unlike with Fives, the bottle didn’t seem to do it. The pair of times he’d taken to finding out what was in the bottom of a bottle of Corellian whiskey he’d found nothing but nightmares and guilt.

Bail gives him a smile as the ship comes in for a landing, the capital of Theed rising up around them, always warm and inviting.

Fox vows to try not to think of seeing Mouse. He breaks it in five minutes.

——

To say Padmé Amidala’s wardrobe was expansive was an understatement. Like saying Coruscant was home to a lot of people.

What had once been an entire guest suite had been turned into a makeshift dressing room and closet for the former queen. Padmé was unapologetic in regards to the sheer amount of clothing she possessed, explaining that it had been expected she never wear the same outfit twice and that, honestly, she just really liked clothes.

It made her more human in Mouse’s eyes, less like the self-possessed politician and more like the young woman she was underneath all the finery.

Mouse supports little Leia’s head as she dozes in the sling across her chest while Padmé does the same, bouncing slightly from side to side on her toes to calm a fussy Luke.

“How about this one?” Padmé questions, pointing to an ornate, layered gown. It reminds Mouse of a confection, fluffy and frosted with layers upon layers of petal pink fabric.

“A bit much for a dinner party? You think?”

Mouse had never had much in the way of fine things, had never really needed them, but when Padmé mentioned that the new Chancellor would be coming and she would really like her to come to the dinner she’d had Mouse help plan, well she really couldn’t say no. Now it was important to find something to wear. It seemed since Padmé was not quite ready to leave the concealing gowns of her early pregnancy behind, Mouse bore the burden of her need to dress and accessorize.

Padmé hums quietly to Luke as he begins to drift off. “You’re probably right. Maybe something a little smaller, more cocktail appropriate?”

Mouse isn’t entirely sure what that entails but she nods in agreement. She’s discovered that even a month and a half postpartum Padmé was still a force to be reckoned with when she got on something. Motherhood hadn’t softened her drive - if anything, it had brought it to new heights as she made plans and strived to make the galaxy a place where her children could grow and thrive.

They’d been spending more time together, Mouse becoming a makeshift mother’s helper while Padmé balanced new motherhood and keeping up with her senatorial duties. Anakin, Padmé had confided, was slow to take to fatherhood and while he seemed to love the twins, he became frustrated easily. He’d increased his visits with the healer, but Padmé wondered if part of it was the loss of Jedi Order. General Kenobi had visited a handful of times since they’d arrived, but Padmé worried it wasn’t the same.

She didn’t mention Sidious but when she spoke of betrayal and upheaval Mouse knew what she spoke of.

She felt bad thinking it, but Mouse wasn’t unhappy with the children’s father’s absence. His nearness to her still left her uncomfortable and remembering the way his eyes had glowed amber and the hate that had been etched into his features as he’d used the force to-

“Remind me again why this is important?” she asks as the new mother begins pulling out more dresses. Mouse works Leia from the sling and cradles her near while she ambles over to her nearby bassinet. Leia was the simpler of the two babies while Luke seemed to require a bit more coddling from his mother. She wondered in the personality differences between the two. She places a thin blanket over the sleeping babe before going back to the pile of dresses that had been laid out.

She holds a deep emerald green dress in front of her and Padme's brows knit together assessingly. “Next,” she chirps as Mouse grabs a blue dress that shimmers in the light flooding through the room's large windows. “Maybe pile. Definitely. Tonight is important because I said it’s important,” Padmé says digging back in the closet. “Obi and Cody arrived earlier this morning.” She glances one more time before sitting on a nearby settee. Luke is awake and beginning to fuss and Padmé quickly works open the front of her dress to allow the hungry infant to nurse. “Have you met General Secura?”

Mouse shakes her head ‘no.’ She’d heard of the twi’lek though and wonders if she might ask her some questions she had. She’d begun sponsoring little Me’kar and wondered what it would take to keep a child of another species in touch with her own heritage if she were to be adopted by a human. Not that she’d been thinking about adoption-

“You’ll like her. Her Commander Bly will be with her. They’re very… close.”

Mouse can read between the lines. Close. Close like she and Fox had been maybe? More so? She’d heard battle forged bonds that were unbreakable, maybe it also could form a love connection that could withstand the burdens of both war and the Jedi’s vows.

She and Fox hadn’t had anything so deep.

She tries the lie on herself again. It still doesn’t sit true. Maybe another hundred times and she’d start believing it.

“The Chancellor will be here in a few hours-“ As Padmé continues to speak, Mouse digs through the pile. A red dress, slick and satin smooth catches her eyes. The skirt feels cool under her fingers. Padmé stops mid sentence as Mouse works it from the pile. The neck is scooped shallow from shoulder to shoulder across where her collar bone would be and a thin golden chain connects the apex of the straps and offers to drape and dip low between her shoulder blades. It would do little to hide the scars on her left arm and shoulder, but Mouse wasn’t self conscious of them the way most would think. Though she could never speak of their true nature she didn't once regret them.

“- seven hells... I forgot about that one. It’s perfect,” Padmé enthuses, again reminding Mouse of truly how close in age they actually were. “Please, pick that one?” Luke grumbles as his mother’s bouncing interrupts his meal. “Hush sweetling,” she soothes.

“It is very pretty.” Mouse hums quietly as she holds the dress in front of her and turns in front of the mirror.

“Some earrings, a pendant maybe… oh a tiara!”

“Earrings will be fine I think.” Mouse can feel her cheeks heating up. Padmé chuckles softly. “What’s so funny?”

“I just realized that color matches the Coruscant Guard colors perfectly. I wonder what Commander Fox will think of it?”

Mouse feels the color drain from her face. Her voice comes out as an ungainly wheeze, “Fox?”

“Yeah, have you met?” Padmé is giving her a wondering look. “He’s not as bad as people make him out to be.”

“Oh- uh- we’ve met.”

“Really?”

There’s a twinkle in the senator’s eye, something that clues Mouse into the fact that the woman in front of her just maybe wasn’t as clueless to the state of her relationship with the Guard Commander as she let on.

“It’ll be nice to catch up or something won’t it?”

Mouse nods. Or something.

——

Fox feels a little cheated. All the times he’d accompanied Senator Amidala to her home world not once had she brought him to the Lake District. The Chancellor looks at home, unswayed by the beauty as he marches through the open halls with confidence. Maybe it was because he was Alderaanian, Fox thinks. He’s never seen the Chancellor’s home but he’d heard its beauty was unrivaled. After taking a glance out the tall transparisteel window looking out directly at one of a half dozen waterfalls he’s sure that it can’t be true.

“Sir? Should we wait for an escort?” Fox asks as Bail takes a sharp turn down another hall.

“No worries, Commander. If I know Padmé she’ll have set up shop in her office. The day is still young and she’ll be hard at work.”

“Sir, she’s just had a baby- two babies. Surely she’ll be taking it easy.”

Bail barks out a very unchancellor like laugh before he levels his eyes at Fox. “If she’s not in her office, I’ll eat my boots for dinner.”

“Laces and all?” Fox can’t help the way the corner of his mouth draws up, though he tries to smother it. Bail raps the back of his knuckles twice across the armor of Fox’s chest before pointing one finger at his face, his own smile broad and for the world to see.

“See, I knew that stick wasn’t as far up your ass as everyone says.”

“Don’t go telling everyone. I’ve got a image to maintain.”

Bail’s bark of laughter echoes down the hall. “And this is why you’re here and not Thire.”

It was new and fascinating to see the Chancellor in this different light, more relaxed than he ever was on Coruscant with its many eyes and wagging tongues. Not for the first time since he’s begun working closely with the Alderaanian, Fox thinks that he truly does enjoy his company.

Fox adjusts his bucket under his arm, hesitates for a moment as to whether he should replace it or continue to carry it. He’s not sure of the proper protocol in this situation. It was one he’d never been prepped for back on Kamino. What was one to do when addressing a senator on maternity leave in her palatial lake house?

He decides to leave it off and immediately wishes he’d put it on as they push through large wooden doors into the senators office. Like everything else, it’s beauty is unimagined. Sumptuous wooden bookcases filled with flimsy tomes fill the shelves, natural light spills in from windows showing off a pristine late afternoon lake with the sun just beginning to set behind the waterfalls surrounding it.

All of that fails to capture his attention because there’s his Mouse swaying gently from side to side smiling down at a cooing baby. Her hair pulled back into a messy bun with tiny tendrils escaping, framing her face in fly-aways.

Karking Naboo could get sucked up by a black hole for all he cares. Mouse is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen bathed in the warm glow of late afternoon sun spilling across the room.

She looks so relaxed, so natural cooing to the infant in her arms - until she looks up and catches him staring.

He doesn’t know what he was expecting but it wasn’t the look of surprise, her eyes thrown wide before cool indifference washes over her.

This wasn’t a holoromance. She wasn’t going to run into his arms and he wasn’t going to dip her low, kiss her passionately, and promise undying love. Not that he hadn’t thought it in that perfect split second moment of her inattention.

She holds the baby close, protectively as Bail moves to embrace Senator Amidala, herself holding an infant.

“Bail!” The young senator’s smile could light the senate halls for a standard rotation. “It’s so good to see you. I was just finishing up.” Fox pulls his eyes away from Mouse long enough to assess the amount of flimsy and datapads stacked across the senators desk. She was nowhere near done.

“And Commander Fox!”

He startles slightly as the petite force of nature insinuates herself in front of him.

“I’m so glad you could make it. Have you seen Cody yet? I know he was pleased when he heard you’d come.”

Fox shakes his head, his eyes drawing magnetically back to Mouse. He used to be able to read her like one of the flimsy books on the senators shelves but now? Now he doesn’t know what he’s seeing, a whole new language he has no experience translating .

“Commander” she offers after a moment, her voice tight but bright in a forced kind of way, “it’s good to see you. You look well.”

Fox swallows hard. “As do you. I hope your stay has been well?”

The infant in her arms turns and roots against the top of the plain dress she’s wearing and Mouse turns her attention away from him, mumbling some pleasantry dismissively. It feels like a slap in the face.

“I’ve got nothing for you sweet girl.” She hums to the baby who is beginning to make plaintive, angry noises, “Padmé I believe miss Leia is hungry again.”

The senator sighs quietly before moving to swap children. She looks at the two men in her presence. “You’ll have to excuse my children,” she jokes, “they don’t know the meaning of office hours yet.”

Bail gives a hearty laugh. “I’m shocked, with you as their mother.”

“They must get it from their Dad,” she offers cheekily, “Boundaries are not his strong point.” Fox watches as Mouse heads for the door with the other infant.

“I think I’ll go deposit this one in bed. Maybe he’ll get some sleep without his sister pestering him.”

Padmé nods as Mouse leaves and Fox fights the urge to follow after her. Like a child himself, he wants her attention. He runs a hand through his hair roughly as he watches the empty door frame willing her to come back. They could try again, start from scratch. He would put himself on his knees and beg for her forgiveness.

Something angry flares in his chest.

Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard didn’t beg. No, Commander Fox was the man everyone looked to for leadership. He would not beg. He’d stand in front of her and dress her down like one of his petulant kits.

She didn’t get to just walk away from him, give him the cold shoulder. Did she not realize he sacrificed a bit of his soul just to send her here? That the wound it left became a little more infected each day?

No, she probably didn’t. She’d obviously moved on and he was the one that was left idling in the past.

——-

“Bail already knows his way around the estate, obviously.” Padmé laughs. The chancellor had excused himself a short while before and blatantly refused Fox when he’d attempted to follow after.

“I’m an old man,” he’d said though he was nowhere near the age Fox would seem old , “and I need a nap and a holo with my wife, neither of which I need your supervision for.”

That left Fox in the senator’s good company as she led him through various halls to the guest wing. Wonder that! A whole wing set aside for people who didn’t even live there. For a clone who’d spent the better part of his life bunking with dozens of brothers, the thought was beyond what he could comprehend.

Padmé readjusts the baby in her arms not for the first time as they talk.

“I could take the little biter for a few minutes if you’d like.” He offers not thinking she’ll take him up on the offer. Who would let a clone handle a baby that was damn near galactic royalty?

Apparently, Padmé Amidala.

“Oh that would be amazing!” She stops and turns toward him and before Fox really has a clear idea of what’s going on, he’s got an arm full of ik’aad.

Fox freezes for a moment and stares down at the little face staring back at him. Her eyes have a depth, he thinks, far beyond her few months. When he looks back to her mother, the senator is stretching her arms with a contented smile. Leia squirms in his grip.

“Well hello princess” he murmurs softly as he cradles her closer. She offers a gummy yawn in return and Fox is surprised he doesn’t melt into a puddle right there.

Padmé claps quietly. “Oh! You’re a natural!”

Fox gives her a lopsided smile. “She’s a baby, not a thermal detonator.”

When he glances up Fox sees just a flash, a far-off look in the senator's eyes. “You’d be surprised to know not everyone takes to it so easily. Maybe you’re just meant to be a father?”

“Padmé, you know that-“

“Screw the regulations,” she says with a steel to her voice he’s only heard a handful of times, “You’re not a droid. You're not a thing, and if it’s the last thing I do, the Republic will do right by the men we’ve made fight our war.”

Fox raises a brow. “You know, I was going to say it usually requires a partner to have a baby.”

Padmé’s face flushes a pretty shade of pink. “Well at least you know where I stand.”

“With all due respect, I’ve always known where you stood.”

The pair continue down the hall taking a sharp right before Padmé is pointing to a door.

“This one is yours,” she states as Fox begrudgingly passes Leia back to her mother. There was something incredibly soothing about holding the little girl and he misses that feeling the moment she’s gone.

Padmé points at other doors down the hall. “Commander Bly, General Secura, General Kenobi, Marshall Commander Cody…” she rattles off, pointing to a seperate room for each. She does a lousy job of biting back a smile as she points to the last door, conveniently across from his own. “Our little Mouse.”

Fox can’t help but shake his head. “I feel like I’m being set up.”

“You are,” Padmé agrees sagely.

“I regret to inform you, after earlier, I believe that ship has really and truly sailed, hit hyperspace even.”

Padmé gives him a skeptical look before peeking down at her daughter. “Men are the silliest creatures,” she educates the infant before glancing back up at Fox, “but not all of them are lost causes.”

Fox chuffs softly.

“I was once told that the Force controls everything around us,” Padmé says earnestly, “but as I’ve grown I’m not sure that’s true.”

He’ll bite. “Well what mystical force controls our destinies then?”

“Hope, Commander. All life,” she looks down at her daughter, her eyes shining when she looks back up, “is built on hope.”

[chachkayes]

Sweet Relief - Mer x Hayes

Okay so this fic was based off a very short, misspelled fic outline that I wrote while I was half-awake after having a dream about Merhayes, only to be woken up to the sound of my cat crying. The outline itself was maybe 300 words long, if that. The full fic is about 2100 words - so honestly good on sleepy me for coming up with such an in depth fic idea. Enjoy :)

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The beach. It was where Meredith had escaped to when Derek had died, and it had become her solace with Derek while she was dying. Derek knew that as much as he wanted to be with the love of his life again, that he’d have to wait a while longer before finally getting to embrace her again. It wasn’t her time to go yet. Meredith was able to get closer to him as she got closer to crossing the threshold between life and death – and they were the point where they were able to sit beside each other on the beach, close enough so they didn’t have to yell to hear each other, but not close enough to the point where they could touch each other.

“Meredith.” Derek said after a long period of silence. Meredith looked over at her husband, the most content she’d felt in a very long time. “Meredith – you can’t stay here.” He finally told her. “As much as I love you and being able to see you – it’s not your time. The kids need you. Zola and Bailey are old enough now to remember how it’ll feel to lose their mom. Zola remembers losing me and she already has trust issues. Can you imagine what losing you would do to her? And Ellis – I never got to meet her. All she knows is you. She can’t lose you and not remember you as she grows up.” Meredith looked away from Derek as a tear fell down her cheek. “Hell, Meredith, Amelia needs you. She is barely holding it together as it is – her sobriety will be severely compromised if she has to tell her nieces and nephew that momma isn’t coming home. She needs you for advice and help with Scout. You need to see your nephew grow up, Mer.” Meredith stared at the sunset, trying to enjoy the peaceful waves hitting her feet. “And Maggie? She’s been losing more COVID patients than not. She is breaking down every time she talks to her boyfriend about how scared she is of losing you. You are the one person she trusts most in this world since losing her mom. She just lost Sabie too – if you die, if you cross the threshold and get to me, she might not survive it.”

Derek sighed as the water splashed against his feet. He knew that Meredith wasn’t fully listening to a word he said. “Cormac Hayes. That name sound familiar?” He finally said after contemplating how he’d get Meredith’s attention enough to convince her to live. It worked – Meredith’s head whipped around and her eyes met Derek’s. “How… what? What does he have to do with this?” Derek laughed. “I’m always with you Meredith, watching over you and our kids. I know who he is.” Meredith sighed and looked down at her feet. “He has everything to do with this. He’s a good man who cares about you more than he’s willing to admit to you or himself. He’s the one who saved your life. God, I wish you could’ve seen how quickly he came to your aide when he realized you’d collapsed. Heard how upset and distraught he was.” Meredith was listening to every word Derek had to say. “He’s one of my best friends there now.” She spoke up. “I know. I also know that if you die, Meredith, he will never believe in love again. He’s constantly finding ways to get updates on you. He sits in your room and asks his wife to keep you alive.” Tears were rolling down Meredith’s face and Derek wanted nothing more than to reach out and wipe them away. “Your death would fundamentally change the person he’s become. The people that Amelia, Maggie, Bailey, Richard have become. It’s not that I don’t want you to stay. I have missed being with you more than you could imagine. But you can’t stay here, it’s not your time. You’re too needed elsewhere.”

Finally, Meredith stood up, and Derek did the same. They faced each other, and Meredith took in every feature on Derek’s face. “I love you.” She finally said. “I love you too. And I’m always by your side, watching over you. But listen to me carefully – I don’t want you to be alone when you go back. Be with someone who you feel safe with, someone who will love you unconditionally, who will always choose you over everything and everyone else, and who knows and understands you fundamentally. You deserve to be happy. You and the kids deserve some stability.” Meredith began to walk backwards towards her starting point. “I’m going to miss you.” She said to Derek as more tears rolled down her face. “I know. But I’m always just a dream away.” He blew her a kiss and she finally turned around, walking faster to the log. One last time, before sitting down and waking up again, she looked to Derek. He was waving goodbye to her. “I love you!” She yelled. “I love you too!” He yelled back, and she finally sat down, heading back to her earthly body.

Teddy Altman and Andrew DeLuca stood outside Meredith’s window. It’d been a week since she’d fallen asleep and became unresponsive – making it 11 days since she’d first been admitted into the hospital. Her lungs weren’t getting worse, but she was showing no signs of getting better either. That’s why, when Meredith Grey moved her hand and slowly opened her eyes, Teddy Altman and Andrew DeLuca ran into Meredith’s room and immediately started trying to get her to wake up fully. They spoke loudly and grabbed O2 masks, restraining her as she fought back. “Get… off of me.” Meredith said as she wrestled with whoever was holding her hands down. “I feel better. I’ll keep the oxygen on. But for the love of god, get off of me.” Reluctantly, they let her go. “You guys are really loud, you know that right?” She glared at them. “Sorry, Mer.” Andrew chuckled. “Can I at least listen to your lungs?” Begrudgingly, Meredith obliged. “Fine.” Teddy grabbed her stethoscope and placed against Meredith’s chest and back. “Lungs seem to be improving.” Meredith smiled weakly. She may have been asleep for 7 days, but she was still tired and weak. In a moment of remembering what Derek had told her, she looked up to Teddy and asked, “Can you page Hayes for me?” Both Teddy and Andrew made insanely confused faces at Meredith’s request. “Are you sure you don’t want me to page, you know, your sisters?” Meredith brought her head back and blinked slowly. “No. I want to talk to Hayes right now, before I forget everything I need to say.” Andrew seemed to take major offence at Meredith’s lack of recognition for his presence, and that instead she was immediately asking for Cormac Hayes, someone he’d continuously argued with about Meredith’s care while she was out. “Okay, I’ll page him. DeLuca, let’s go.” Teddy sent the page off and DeLuca scoffed as he exited the room with Teddy.

Cormac Hayes was sitting at the computer, completely bored out of his mind on the peds floor, unable to shut his mind off from worrying about Meredith. His heart skipped a million beat when his pager went off, the room number connecting to Meredith’s. Every worst-case-scenario ran through his mind as he threw on his PPE and bolted to the elevator to get to her. To his surprise, when he reached Meredith’s room, she was lying in bed, alone, awake, and watching for him. He breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her, alive. He put on the rest of his PPE and carefully opened her door. “Hey.” She said, smiling weakly at him. The sight of Meredith Grey smiling at him overwhelmed Hayes, and he could feel himself start to cry tears of complete relief. “Hey, hey. Come here. I’m alive, I’m okay.” She extended her hand, motioning for him to go sit on the end of her bed. “You were right, you know. This virus had nothing on me.” They laughed together at her reference. “I was so worried about you while you were unresponsive. I’m so relieved you’re alive.” Hayes said, looking directly into Meredith’s eyes. She grabbed his hand, squeezing it. “Me too.” She finally told him. “You know, I saw Derek while I was asleep.” He smiled at the thought of Meredith’s reaction to seeing her late-husband again. “And, he told me something. It took me a little off guard.” Hayes tilted his head. “I bet it was nice, seeing Derek again. What did he say?” Meredith gripped onto Hayes’ hand a little tighter. “He told me… that he’s watching over me. And then he said that if I had died, that you’d never believe in love again. What did he mean by that?” Hayes closed his eyes. Who could’ve guessed that the reason why Hayes had fallen for Meredith would also be the one to make him tell Meredith about the feelings for her that he was terrified of? “Before Abby died, she told me that it was okay to move on, that I had her permission. But I didn’t want to believe in love again after mine was taken from me so soon. I didn’t even think I could let myself feel anything for anyone else besides Abby. That was, until I met you. Had you died, I don’t know if I would’ve ever let myself feel anything for anyone ever again, since they seem to keep being taken from me so quickly.” Meredith sighed at Hayes’ words.

She had a suspicion that Hayes had feelings for her, but she never expected those feelings to be so deep for her. “You deserve to be happy, Hayes. Even if I hadn’t made it.” Hayes chuckled a little. “Grey, you’re starting to sound like Abby.” He said, which made Meredith laugh. “I just want you to know… let yourself feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. Because you’re not the only one experiencing them. I have them for you too.” Hayes looked at her, surprised. Meredith adjusted their hands that sat together so comfortably, and she laced their fingers together. “We don’t have to jump into anything. But know that I don’t feel like I have a decision to make, or options to choose from anymore. You told me, and Derek told me, to choose someone who would pick me over and over again, over everything and everyone. That’s you.” Had COVID not been an issue, Cormac Hayes would have kissed Meredith Grey right there and then. Instead, he pulled her in tightly for a hug. “I was hoping you’d apply that advice to whoever you chose to be with. Meredith, I promise that I will always choose you no matter what. I don’t commit lightly – when I say I’m in, I’m all in.” They pulled away from their hug. “So, what you’re saying is that you’re in?” Meredith said, her heart racing. “I am.” He responded to her. They smiled at each other, not saying a word. After a few moments of complete silence, Meredith spoke up “That sounded nice.” She said, running her hand over Hayes’. “What does?” He said, looking down at their hands and tangling their fingers together. “You calling me Meredith.” A sense of peace filled the room as both surgeons understood that Derek and Abigail had brought them together.

“Would you mind paging Maggie and Amelia? I haven’t seen them in a long time, and I figure Maggie could use some good news right now.” Hayes nods at her, and pages Meredith’s sisters to her room. Not too long after, he gets paged back to the peds floor. “It’s been so quiet on the peds floor today I’m almost surprised I got paged. I’ll come by again to see you later.” Meredith nodded, understanding that feeling all too well. “I’m already looking forward to it. Now, go save a life.” She smiled at him, and with one last hug, Hayes went on his way.

A few minutes later, Maggie and Amelia breathlessly barge into Meredith’s room, overjoyed at the sight of her alive, breathing, and happy. For the next hour, Meredith told them everything that happened while she was asleep – about Derek, George, and Lexie, and how Derek said he missed them, which made them cry, especially Amelia. However, she refrained from telling them anything about Hayes and the recent developments between them. They didn’t need to know quite yet.