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simp4konig · 1 month ago

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wait a minute. pookie. how do we think nikto would react to reader asking him to clasp her bra...

Omg!!! Never in my life did I type out ideas so FAST!!! 🏃🏼‍♀️💨

Fem! Reader Asking Nikto To Clasp Her Bra

Word Count: 1719

Implies friends to lovers with Nikto. Atrociously down bad Nikto for Reader <3. Themes not dissimilar to this fanfiction (only less intense lol 💀).

Reader is addressed as "You". No Y/N used.

*Russian Speakers, please forgive me for any linguistic inaccuracies. This is the first time I tried to write in Russian without relying on Google Translate 🥲... If there's any errors, please let me know! 🙏

❗SUGGESTIVE CONTENT BELOW THE CUT! ❗ (No sex, but allusions to it). Readers are warned for suggestive content. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

…Did you say what he thinks you've said, or was that the voices?

Did he imagine it? Was it a hallucination, maybe? Perhaps he's just a maladaptive daydreamer, and he hasn't realised…

His thoughts — or the words spoken by the voices, he's not sure — whisper in an uncharacteristically gentle tone:

Ммм... красотка. А... така красивая... рядом со мной...

They whisper to him about you. To him, for you. And to you. But those words don't leave his scarred lips, his throat hoarse and vocal cords damaged

Treasure. So beautiful. And with me, with me...

No. Not with you. He could never be with you. All he can do is content himself

“—Nikto?" You asked gently, eyebrows furrowed over your eyes, instantly dragging him from his trance. "Are you... okay? Did you hear me?"

Ah. There's that angelic little voice. How divine...

Wait. So it wasn't a hallucination? He didn't imagine you asking him to clasp your bra? Unless he heard incorrectly? Surely he heard incorrectly.

Staring at you with a blank expression under the mask, his response was less like a question, and more like a statement, if anything:

"You... want me to clasp your bra. Yes?"

"...Yes, please," you said, a sheepish, lopsided smile on your face, as you bashfully looked off to the side. "It, er... it came undone as we were cuddling. And uh... well. You know. I tried to be subtle and do it myself, but... it didn't really go that well, did it? So... put me out of my misery, please."

You were so very… casual. True, you were embarrassed, but you didn't display disgust at the prospect of being touched; rather, you were... expectant, as if it's what you wanted, and it made Nikto's heart soar at the possibility that his feelings could be reciprocated.

But he wasn't going to delude himself more than he was already.

You brought this up so offhandedly, as if this was some passing topic of conversation or an ordinary occurrence, and a normal favour to ask of someone. Someone normal. Who was be to be a fucking pervert?

When that fact registered, Nikto probably: a.) clenched his fists so tight that the remaining nails on his fingers pierce his skin and draw blood — all in a desperate attempt to see if this was indeed reality, and not a hallucination; b.), short-circuited and got into an intense unintentional staring competition with you, eyes vaguely red and unblinking for minutes, disbelieving, still and not moving as much as an inch; and/or c.), popped the hardest boner in his life that he almost lost consciousness, fainted, and fell from the bed to floor.

"I... why?"

A laugh almost escaped your throat — almost — but you swallowed it in time, realising that to laugh could have been making a mockery of Nikto.

"Ah... these clasps are so fiddly, you know? And... well..."

Awkwardly laughing, you explained: "...I couldn't reach. Not without drawing attention to myself, anyways. But it's really uncomfortable having to hold your bra while you try to be discreet when you clasp it, you know? And..."

Obviously, Nikto was not someone normal. Isn't.

This was extraordinary. A gift. Oh, what a blessing this was!

To look at you and bask in your presence is salvation in it of itself.

To be close to you, within arms' reach, his strength and size ensuring that in his wildest fantasies you'd be beneath him, with no chance of escaping, and in a position where all you can do is accept what he forces upon you.

Of course, he would never do that. The voices seduce him, urge him, order him to, but he doesn't listen. He won't touch you without permission, or without explicit consent.

Simply living has become worthwhile, as he can breathe the same air that left your precious lips. The pain, the agony, the aching, and the inexplicable grief, the, sorrow, the woe, the burden, and the mortal suffering — all meaningless and trivial if it means that you are with him.

So to touch you? And so intimately? Oh… боже…

Not only does it demonstrate that, despite the grotesque monster that he's been transformed into, the prospect of his hands on your body doesn't repulse you, but it proves how you trust him. You trust Nikto enough to touch you. To be vulnerable with him.

You consider him trustworthy enough to feel your bare back, and to trace his rough, callous, quivering fingertips over the delicate lace of your bra. You have decided that he's worthy of such a privilege.

Still, he wavered in his uncertainty. He'd rather be certain, than ruin things with you. His everything.

"...You are sure?"

Eyes crinkling in a small yet kind smile, you assured him, that: "Yes. I am sure. Please, just do it for me. I'd rather you do it."

He did not want to fuck this up. No fucking way. Ни хуя сибет.

You're friends. Good friends. As a matter of fact, you were his only friend.

But he was so fucking hard that he was almost nauseous — and that was before he has even touched you.

From his hazy recollection of his past and his continuing life which he occasionally unintentionally dissociated from, he can't ever recall being so turned on — half the time, his dick doesn't even function the way it should do.

But for you? You needn't ask; the effect which you have on him is evident. Simply through existing, you're his personal aphrodisiac.

A snort escaped Nikto’s broken, deformed nose at the sight of you shyly holding up your shirt tightly over your chest with one hand, and steadying your bra in the other — if it was up to him, he'd have hurled the offensive piece of clothing into some obscure corner of the room, and stripped you both naked, uncaring of his scars or of how his body looked, just to have you once, once.

But it was not up to him. And he wouldn't do something that rash. He wasn't about to scare you off when you were good... friends. Friends. Yes.

His fingertips touched the junction of your spine, tracing the subtle bumps of the vertebrae. His touch was so delicate, so tentative, that you could have almost mistaken it for a gust of wind.

You shivered involuntarily, goosebumps forming on your arms, and Nikto's breath hitches when you flinch slightly, your back arching a little.

“Блать… душа моя…”

He's trying to be good, trying not to cross any boundaries. You've already been so charitable, so selfless, to offer him this. If he wastes this, or ruins things between you two by making you uncomfortable to the point you won't be on speaking terms, he would rather kill himself.

Gently, with shaky, shaking fingers, he reaches for the clasp of your bra, which is lose, and attempts to clasp it for you.

His big, callous hands weren't made for handling such small, delicate things.

He's breathing heavily, his mask doing nothing to muffle the desperate puffs of air, his throat constricting and going dry. Your hair stands on the nape of your neck, and you shiver again — only, it's not from the cold.

He's gritting his teeth, pissed off by how fiddly this is, but he wouldn't ever voice this out loud — any intimacy and touch is better than none at all.

By some miracle, he does it. And he thought that was that.

To quell his temptations, he gently pulled the hem of your shirt down, fixing the material and making sure the midriff was exposed, and respectfully averted his gaze so you could fix your bra, denying himself the sight he'd cherish until he was blind and engrave the image in his brain.

That was that, he thought. It wasn't really what he thought, of course, since he silently hoped, yearned for more, but he would be thankful for any scraps of affection that he was allowed to give you.

Except...

"...You can touch me, you know," you murmured, averting your gaze as your cheeks heated up. “That… was the whole point.”

Suddenly, he couldn't speak English.

Or Russian.

Or articulate himself in any way, shape or form.

He's struck dumb. Dumbstruck. Dumbfounded. Bewildered.

Really? Really? You had wanted him to do it?

Before he had the time to process your declaration, your smaller hands took his and guided them onto your chest — not over your shirt, but under — letting him cop a feel of the skin he so desired to.

No... not letting him. Encouraging him. With a smile so impossibly sweet and effortlessly sexy at the same time that he had to bite his bottom lip until the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth.

He needed you so bad. So, so bad.

Both large bear-like paws clutching at your chest, he held your covered breasts as if they were the most precious objects in the world.

His. Eго.

Нет... не его...

Not his. Not ever. You were only taking pity on him, aware of how deprived he's been of physical intimacy, the boner always prominent when you're close. He's pathetic.

A silence enveloped you both, but it surprisingly wasn't an awkward one; rather, a pleasant, calming, and comfortable one.

Nikto's hands wandered absentmindedly across your torso, stroking your skin, gently groping the soft parts of you.

You moaned in content, closing your eyes as he massaged your flesh as if he's never seen women's boobs or a woman's cleavage before.

He had, in another life, but never yours. So this is different. Special.

His pupils were blown black with love, eyelids hooded with adoration and complete focus. Only you. And only you. Только ты.

He wouldn't... he told himself he wouldn't... he shouldn't go further... he couldn't do this to you. To himself.

What if he ruined your friendship? If he was without you and alone again, he would really kill himself after all.

He shouldn't...

He mustn't...

Really. Really. He ought to stop now before he loses himself.

Your eyes open, and you bless him with the privilege of watching you undress, the shirt slipping over your head and revealing your body to his starved, starving gaze.

It's too much...

…

...The bra came off not long after, along with all of your and Nikto's clothes.

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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 7 months ago

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Chapter 15: What Do You Know About Love?

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter fifteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 6.5K (I got carried away again)

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing, Angst, Crying, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Present Day *Reader POV*

The shopping bags that hung from your arms would have been heavy for the average person, but for you it seemed like a bag full of pillows. It was the day after you saw Rosemary and said goodbye. Despite the almost excruciating hangover you had this morning, because it'd been almost forty years since you last had a drink, you dragged yourself to the mall to try and find outfits for your trip to Russia. You were satisfied with the few outfits you found, but you were worried because the plane left in a few hours and you were no where near ready.

Mentally or physically.

As much as you wanted to go help Ben, you still were apprehensive about the whole situation, not just about going in blind, but wondering what the hell you were going to do when you saw Ben. You wanted to hold on to your anger, but you were afraid that the moment you looked into his green eyes you would forgive him.

I am not going to forgive him. I'm going to break him out then tell him to fuck off and I never have to see him ever again.

Despite your apprehension, you knew that you had to do this, that you had to go help him even if you still hated him because you couldn't bear the thought of the boy you grew up with being tortured over there all alone. It was the alone part that hurt the most. You knew how much Ben hated being alone. He never had to say it out loud, but all the time you'd spent together in your bedroom before and after the injection spoke volumes.

Of course you still had no idea where you were going, but figured that if you went to the Kremlin you could get some answers, which meant you'd either have to lie your way in or just kill anyone in your path. Which would be messy, but necessary. You try to shake off the guilt of exposing yourself again and what that could mean for Rosemary and Lou. You made sure that Rosemary knew to pack a bag for herself and for Lou and told her to wait for your call.

You wanted to be there to escort them out of the city, didn't want to split up and have them get snagged while you were waiting for them at the rendezvous point, so you told Rosemary to take a few days off and lay low.

When you get to the outside door of your apartment building toting the bags, you notice that it's been broken, as if someone tried to pull it off its hinges.

Well that's great. Hopefully the building manager noticed that.

Your mind drifts back to Ben as you step into the elevator.

What if he isn't alive when I get there? It was an unwelcome thought, but it meant that you wouldn't have to talk to him.

Maybe if I knock him out when I get there and just leave him in a Russian motel somewhere, I won't have to talk to him. You pause. Will he want to talk to me?

The memory of the last time you spoke flashes through your mind bringing an unmeasurable amount of rage and heartbreak back over your body. The dam you built to keep out everything that happened was reaching capacity, especially given the recent events with Countess, and you knew that the moment you saw Ben it was going to burst open. You hoped that you'd be able to keep it together long enough to get out of the lab or wherever the hell he was being held, before you lost it. But it was doubtful.

As you walk down the hallway to you apartment, you notice that your front door is open and you stop walking. Apprehension spikes at the back of your mind as you examine the door. The lock is broken and door is cracked just enough for you to hear people talking inside in hushed tones. You creep forward and look through the crack.

You've got to be kidding me. You groan to yourself noticing Butcher and Hughie standing in your living room.

Great. Just what I need. Right when I'm going to leave they show up. Guess that explains the mystery of the broken door downstairs.

You think about walking away, of going back down the elevator and hoping that by the time you come back they would be gone, but you knew you had to face them and you still had to pack. So you push open the front door of your apartment and step into the room.

"You know when I called saying that I had something else to say about Soldier Boy, I assumed you would call, not break into my apartment." You sigh before moving to the right side of the counter that divides the room between the living room and the kitchen and depositing the shopping bags on the stainless steel top.

"Maybe you shouldn’t leave your apartment unlocked poppet. Anyone could walk in." Butcher replies with a grin.

"Hmm. Sure. You guys here for more coffee?"

"Go shopping did you?" Butcher ignores your snark eyeing the bags.

"Yeah I needed a few new outfits for my art show next month." The lie is easy, but you know that the sudden appearance of the two of them probably meant you were caught red handed. Of course now with everything that happened with Countess, you didn't care anymore if Butcher and Hughie knew who you really were. "You doing okay there Hughie?" You raise an eyebrow as you notice how his heartbeat has spiked since you entered the apartment.

"Good." He says, but he looks uneasy.

Well, guess he's afraid of me now.

"Huh. And here I thought you were replacing your jacket." Butcher throws your ruined jacket onto the floor between you.

You look from the jacket to Butcher. You hadn't bought a replacement and hadn't wanted to throw it out. You were still hoping that the scorch marks looked like you had "distressed" it. It didn't and you knew that, but you loved that coat so much.

"See, I think it’s a big coincidence that Countess got right fucked after we came and talked to you." Butcher smiles.

"Probably the same coincidence as Gunpowder dying before you showed up here the first time." You breeze with a tight-lipped smile.

Where was he going with this? Was he here to kill me? You think about what Legend said about Butcher killing supes.

"That looks bad." Butcher gestures to the jacket. "You have a little spat with your good friend?”

"Let's just say she said a few things that upset me." Your eyes skate from Butcher to Hughie sizing them up. "If you're here to kill me, you're welcome to try. Oh sorry, 'arrest me'." You make air quotes around the words. "But we both know you're not government agents, you reek of Compound V and the last time I checked there was that whole, no supes in the government thing."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to get this out of the way the first time?" Hughie asks.

"I didn't want to be involved." You shrug your shoulders.

"Then why you'd buy a plane ticket to Russia?" Butcher takes a step towards you, but you hold your ground.

You weren't afraid of him.

"I hear it's nice this time of year. Not too hot, not too cold. Very pleasant." You snap back at him eyes narrowed, before you look down at the antique watch on your wrist. "Look I'd love to have a heart to heart, but I just don't have time to do this little dance with you. So we can either get to the part where you try to kill me or-" You raise your gaze from the watch to glare back at Butcher, but then your eyes focus on the hallway behind him and your heart stops.

Ben is standing there in the shadows looking at you the same way he always has, with those wonderful piercing green eyes that makes all other memories of them be put to shame. He's dressed in modern clothes, wearing a dark green shirt that hugs his perfect muscular chest and is the same color of his suit, your favorite color and the one you can never look at without thinking of him because damn it, it's also the color of his eyes. He looks the same, but different. His hair is longer and darker than it was the last time you saw him and his cheeks are covered by a trimmed but thick beard. It was unusual given that you'd never seen him with more than just a little bit of stubble and annoying because it makes him look even more ruggedly handsome, but despite the piercing way his eyes follow you, you can see a haunting memory of the last forty years.

You're upset that the one of the first thoughts you'd had beside staring at him open mouthed is that you wished you were wearing something more flattering than one of your pairs of paint splattered overalls over an old band t-shirt. You were going to Russia to get him and yes maybe you were shopping for things that you could move in, but you had picked out a particular revenge outfit that you believed would make Ben regret everything he did to you and also might have been paired with a particularly badass set of boots that made your legs look very long. The outfit that made you feel beautiful and sexy was unlike the one you were wearing at the moment. Also because you hadn't brushed your hair today and had just stuck it up in a messy bun at the back of your head.

You're struck with the urge to run to him and kill him at the same time, but you can't move and you can’t think.

Apart of you believed that you would find him dead in Russia, a sad thought but it meant that you wouldn't have to relive everything all over again. Everything that went to shit the last 24 hours you spent together that you relived with Countess the other day and now you were reliving when you looked at him standing there looking better than he should.

Because damn it, only Ben could be tortured in a lab for the past 40 years and walk away looking like a GQ model. I've never hated anyone more.

"Ben?" Your voice is no more than a hoarse whisper.

Ben pushes past Hughie and Butcher, taking careful steps towards you like he doesn't want to scare you away. "Y/n." The sound of your name on his lips fills you with an inescapable amount of warmth.

Traitor. You think to yourself at your body’s reaction.

He's standing so close to you now that you can smell the same shampoo and aftershave he always used and it brings back memories of the nights he spent in your bed with you laughing and talking like nothing had changed making you feel alive again for the first time in forty years. Before everything went into the blender set to puree.

Ben's eyes trace your body like he can't believe you're standing in front of him making you wish again that you're wearing the outfit you picked out so that you could look as good as he does. And just as he raises his hand towards your face you remember why you hated him, remember that night, remember what Countess said that caused her to lose her head.

Your hand flashes out so quick you don't think Ben notices it until it lands with a resounding slap against his cheek that sends him reeling back from you. Your strengths were similar, almost identical, and if he hadn't been invulnerable it would have ripped his perfect jaw from his face.

"What the fuck was that for?" Ben snaps, green eyes blazing as he looks back at you.

"You've got some nerve coming back here after all these years." You spit, the anger rising in your chest with wings of fury that beat against your ribcage. "Did you really think that you could just say my name again and make me forget everything that happened Benjamin? I am not one of those trashy women that you used to fuck and the fact that you think you can show up here, give me the fucking puppy dog eyes, and think that I’ll swoon, is ridiculous!”

There goes the dam.

Your gaze levels on Hughie and Butcher who look just as stunned. "And you two. Why did you bring him here? I didn’t want any part of this!”

"Why did you pretend to be dead!" Hughie shouts back.

"Did you think that maybe that was me trying to tell you that I didn't want to be involved? Or are you two just that fucking stupid?"

"Why did you buy a plane ticket then?" Butcher asks again, raising an eyebrow.

Ben is watching you with anger burning in his eyes. It's difficult for you to look at him. Every time you do you think about your last night together, the morning after when he pushed you away, and finally the night where he ripped out your heart and stomped all over it.

How did I ever think I could look at him again when I got him out of Russia?

"Because even though I hate him. He doesn't deserve that. The Ben I knew would have come to get me, and I wasn't going to leave him to rot in some fucking Russian prison." You snap back. "Now get out of my apartment."

"Sweetheart-" Ben begins to say.

"No. No. No. I don't want to hear it from you. Nothing you can say can make this better. I’m glad you’re free or whatever, but go. Get out." You push past him, but Ben's hand flashes out and grabs your wrist with enough force that you feel the bruising of your skin.

"No." He towers over you.

"Let. Me. Go." Your eyes narrow shifting to bright purple. The entire room begins to tremble, the glass windows shake in their panes and the glass jars full of paint brushes on your studio table begin to clink against one another. But he doesn't remove his hand.

"Not until you listen." Ben's own green eyes have hardened into a emerald.

You latch onto the wrist that is holding you and break his grip, before spinning and throwing him backward across the room away from you. Ben's body flies past Hughie and Butcher who watch with wide eyes as he hits the back of the couch and pinwheels over it with a loud thud as he lands on the cushions. You would have rather thrown him into the brick living room wall, but you restrained yourself.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say Benjamin. You said enough that night and apparently you were saying lots of things to Countess about me. So get out." Your eyes skate across Butcher and Hughie. "All of you."

Hughie is still watching you with wide eyes, like he can't believe that just happened.

Join the club kid.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Ben shouts, standing from the couch and straightening his clothes. You don't need to be a psychic to know how angry he is. In fact, you're surprised he's not throwing you out the window or at least throwing a punch. Ben didn't tolerate it when anyone put him in his place and it definitely looks like it's taking him an extreme amount of effort not to attack you, given the way his hands are clenched into fists and the way his jaw is tensed so tightly you can see the muscle flexing.

"She told me what you said about me. That you threw me a pity fuck because you felt sorry for me, that you were bored when we had sex because I was so inexperienced."

"It's not true."

"Isn’t it?" You're trying desperately not to cry, but the angry tears have already begun to well up in your eyes. "The last thing you sad to me was that I was pathetic and that you never would love me, never could love me. That you fucked me because you felt bad for me and you wished I would just fuck off. That I was just another warm pussy and that I meant nothing to you. So forgive me for not believing you."

"Oh shit." Butcher mutters under his breath.

"Damn." Hughie echoes.

"I know what I said to you, Y/n. I've spent the past 40 years regretting it-" Ben begins to say, but you interrupt him.

"Oh I'm so sure. The Great Soldier Boy actually has a conscience, let me just alert the media." You spit back. "Oh wait, sorry you wouldn't want that getting out would you Ben? Because that would mean you aren't a man."

"Y/n-" He growls.

"You don't get to come in here and apologize and act like you did nothing wrong. You're not here because you feel sorry, you're here because you want me to dote on you, to follow you around and give a shit like I did for 40 fucking years.”

“Y/n-“

"Stop saying my name like that!" You shout and the glass sugar dish on the counter flies off the counter and smashes into the floor sending shards of glass everywhere.

Hughie flinches.

"Like what?" Ben exclaims.

"Like you care." You cross your arms over your chest staring him down because you don't want to keep crying.

"I do fucking care about you-" Ben snaps running his hand through his dark hair frustrated.

"No you don't. You never did. You’ve made that perfectly clear.”

"Yes I do."

"Please stop talking."

"What else do you want me to say?" Ben shouts back, moving towards you. "I'm trying to fucking apologize-"

"I don't want you to say anything and I don't want to hear your half-assed apology! I want you to leave. You and your creepy friends." You gesture back to where Hughie and Butcher are watching with open mouths, who are unsure if they should leave or watch the show.

"They're not my friends."

"And neither am I! Which means I don’t have to listen to anything you have to say!”

"Y/n please-" His teeth are gritted together.

“I'm not some fangirl Ben. I was your friend, your friend before any of this. Before any of this fucking supe shit. I cared about you. I had been in love with you since I was 8. I had taken care of you since the night we met." More tears squeeze down your cheeks as a lifetime of happy memories before everything went down the drain wash over you. The wonderful times you'd shared together at the park, in your bedroom back in Philadelphia, dancing in the dancehall, at baseball games and Ben walking you home all the while you wobbled down the street drunkenly and sang off key. All the blissful little moments that you thought maybe he felt the same way about you and then followed by the moments you spent together the night of your birthday, when you felt more special and loved than you'd ever had. It makes the knife he stuck in your back even sharper.

"That night we spent together meant everything to me. I thought it was special and I thought you loved me. But you don't. You just fucked me because you were bored and you found the first person who said yes.” Your body turns away, but he grabs you by the shoulders to make you look at him.

"I do love you damnit!" He shouts. "I didn't want to-" Ben's jaw clenches in frustration, looking back at Butcher and Hughie. "Can you two just fuck off?"

"I wish you all would." You say, trying to loosen his grip on your shoulders, but he doesn't let go. You think about throwing him across the room again, because it made you feel a lot better.

"Fine. We'll be outside." Butcher says tugging Hughie away.

"Are you sure?" Hughie asks looking from you to Ben as if he's worried to leave the two of you alone.

"You want to be here? Because they're either going to kill each other or start fucking." Butcher responds.

"We are not going to start-" You begin, but they're already out the front door of your apartment leaving you alone with Ben, who is still holding on to your shoulders.

"Please listen to me." Ben says looking deep into your eyes. "When you said that you loved me it-" He stops looking for the right word as if he can't say the next ones that come out of his mouth. "Oh fuck it, it fucking scared me. Okay? It scared me, Y/n, and damnit I'm not a pussy! I'm not afraid of anything!"

“Oh no you could never be a pussy could you? Soldier Boy could never admit that he had real feelings for someone.” Your voice wobbles, tears trailing down your cheeks as you poke him in the chest to emphasize every word. “And now you’re just saying what I want to hear, because you want to have another quick fuck!” You push your hands against his chest trying to push him off of you, but he won't let go. "You're just saying it because its been forty years since you had sex and you thought, huh might as well find the most pathetic person I know, Y/n won't say no if I pretend to be everything she wanted again."

He doesn't mean it. He doesn't love me.

"I’m not lying to you! And I’m not pretending! I wasn't pretending that night either!” Ben roars so loudly you flinch. “That night I felt things with you that I had never felt with anyone else. It wasn't cheap sex or a quick fuck-" His jaw tightens as if he's embarrassed to admit it. "Damn it.” His teeth are gritted together. “We made love. I understood that when I woke up the next morning and I was happy to be there with you. I knew that I loved you and I wanted to tell you, but I fucked it all up instead. I fucked Countess because I was scared of what loving you meant. But I’m ready now, I’m not scared anymore. I love you!”

He's saying everything you always wanted him to, but you're scared. Scared that he's just saying it, that he thinks it's what you want to hear and this is the only way that he can get you back into his life because he needs someone to follow him around, because he can't be alone.

You stand there for a minute taking in his stance. His head is slightly bowed in shame, shoulders tight, body leaning towards you. But then you catch his eye, you see the sorrow, frustration, and pain in his gaze. Ben was not big on sharing feelings and for him to admit all of these things aloud was shocking enough without the obvious emotions flashing in his eyes. It was so different than the stoic or pissed off attitude he usually had when he was Soldier Boy. The look in his eyes is so earnest and Ben has never been a good liar, not to you anyway. You always knew what he was thinking.

If I forgive him then what does that mean? I forget the past 40 years like they never happened? I forget all the tears when he broke my heart? Forget how broken I was? How broken I still am?

You think of all the times you missed him, all the times you forgot about what he said to you and remembered the good, all the times you wanted him there with you and Rosemary because you knew he would love to be there. All the early memories together, all the missions, everything that lead up to the falling out and Ben’s supposed death. Ben's admission of guilt and his confession of love for you was shocking. Especially because the Ben you knew 40 years ago would have rather dropped dead than say the words "make love."

No. I won't give in. I can't do this, I can't do this all over again. I was better, I was moving on, he doesn't have the right to come here and mess up my life all over again.

"No." You shout, shoving him away with all your strength. Ben stumbles backward, his eyes wide as if he wasn't expecting you to push him away, because of course he wasn't. “You don’t know anything about love. You’re just saying that because you know it’s what I want to hear, what I’ve always wanted you to say to me.”

He still doesn't understand how much he hurt me. And he doesn't deserve my forgiveness.

“I’m not just saying that, it’s true. Please y/n-“

"I don't believe you. And when I said I never wanted to see you ever again I wasn't lying. So get out Ben!" You shout.

"No. I love you and I'm not leaving." Ben says back determined.

You weren't prepared for what those words did to you. You weren't prepared for the floodgate of emotions that exploded the moment those words passed through his lips or the way it felt like you were being tugged in two different directions. Because despite wanting to throw him across the room again, those three little words made you want to run into his arms and hold him close, made you want him to take you to bed and make you forget all the shitty things that happened forty years ago, make it like he never left.

But you couldn't do it. As much as you wanted to forgive him, you couldn't because you didn't trust him anymore, you didn't trust that he could give you what you wanted.

“Too bad! I won’t do this to myself again. All I did was care about you, help you. I stood by you and made excuses for the person you became and I held on to this picture of the boy you used to be. The one I fell in love with. The one that used to climb in my window when things were hard. The one that took me to my first baseball game. The one who danced with me. The one that made me feel like less of a freak because he understood me. And the one that begged me to leave Howard and everything I knew and come with him. That night we were together I saw that boy again. I loved that boy. I would have done anything for him and I did. But he’s not here anymore. And I hate myself for holding on to him as long as I did.”

"But I told you I loved you!" Ben exclaims.

“Just saying that isn’t enough, not after everything that happened!” You shout. "You're forty years too late Benjamin. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m exhausted and I’m going to go to bed. And I don’t want you to be here when I wake up.”

"Y/n please-" You hate how he sounds when he says it, like he's broken, because Ben has never once sounded that way in all the years you'd known him. You hate how he looks. How his dark hair is falling forward into his face and he looks so much like the boy you used to love that it makes you want to scream, because you wanted to believe that he was gone, but all you see when you look up at him is that boy. There is not one shred of Soldier Boy in the way he looks right now and you hate that. You hate that you wanted to forgive him, that all it took was him looking like at you like that. But you still can't do it.

"Just go." Your throat thickening as you say it, fresh tears trailing down your cheeks. "I don't want you here. I never want you to come here ever. I never want to see you again.” You lie pushing past him and walk down the dark hallway, slamming and locking your bedroom door behind you. Your body sinks to the floor as you pull your knees up into your chest, sobs shaking your body and tears pour from your eyes.

How many tears can I spend on one man? How do I still have any left after all these years? How could I have been stupid to think that I was over him? That I could just go to Russia, break him out, and then push him out of my life so easily? None of what just happened was easy.

Your face presses into your knees. You want to call Rosemary, call her and tell her what happened, but your phone is still on the counter and you couldn't go back out there, because you knew he was still there. Standing in your living room looking too perfect after all these years and saying all the things you always wanted him to and you don’t want to go out there and forgive him.

So you stay. Your back pressed against the door, crying into your knees and hoping that this will just all end.

Because it’s got to one day right?

*Soldier Boy POV*

He hadn't meant to reach for you, but all he wanted was to feel the gentle swell of your cheek beneath the palm of his hand, the smoothness of your skin against his rough fingertips, and to memorize the planes of your face with his touch. You were even more beautiful than he remembered. Your curves perfectly accentuated by a pair of cute paint splattered overalls that made him smile, and your hair pulled away from your face in a messy bun but still made you look effortless and striking. When he saw you standing there, it was like taking a punch to the gut. He knew that he missed you, but seeing you there warm and alive made him want to crush you against his chest and never let you go ever again.

He had laid himself bare before you, allowing himself to push through the urge to shove all his emotions back beneath the surface as his father taught him, and spoke, instead, the words he wished that he had said all those years ago.

Ben's shoulders tense when he thinks of what you shouted back at him, how broken you looked. His heart falls into the pit of his stomach when he remembers the tears in your eyes. Ben hated it when you cried. He also hated that the first time he saw you in forty years he made you cry, again.

He didn't know how to fix this. Ben thought that his apology would be enough to make you at least try to forgive him, but it hadn't. You had shoved him away from you, refused to let him touch you or comfort you-

Why is she so damn stubborn? I apologized! I told her that I loved her! Isn’t that what she wanted?

He grits his teeth together thinking about how you threw him across the room like he weighed nothing. If anyone else had done that to him, Ben would have killed them, but he knew that he deserved it. He knew you would be mad, but he thought that you would at least want to hear everything he had to say instead of cursing him out and slamming the door in his face.

When you slammed your door behind you, he had stood outside of it for an hour listening to you cry, heard your soft muffled sobs. At one point he leaned his head against the door and wished you would let him in so he could hold you while you cried, even though the thought made him feel like a pussy. He wanted to comfort you. He wished you had forgiven him, allowed him to take you to bed, allowed him to show you how sorry he was and how much he loved you. He wished that you let him help you forget the last shitty forty years that you spent without him, forget what he said and what he did to you that night.

The harsh words you yelled at him make him flinch, when you told him that you didn't want him there and never wanted him to come back. They were the words that he always feared you would say to him when he climbed in through your window at night or when he showed up at your apartment when you were still on Payback. And hearing you say those words felt worse than anything those Russian fucks did to him. Because Ben didn't know where he belonged if he wasn't with you, he didn't know what to do if you weren't in his life, you were the only thing that mattered.

How could I fuck this up this much?

Ben looks back at the clock on the wall in the kitchen which shows he'd been there for three hours waiting for you to come out of your room, but you hadn't. He knew it was because you fell asleep, he could hear your heart beat, your soft breath against the pillows, and the almost silent sounds you made when you slept. They were exactly the same as when he would fall asleep next to you and damn it he didn't realize how much he missed them until this exact moment.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How do I fucking fix this?

Ben stands from the couch and walks down the hallway for the millionth time to stand outside your door preparing to knock, but he didn't know what to say. He thought that he'd said enough, but judging by your reaction he hadn't.

The thought of saying anything else was difficult for him to swallow. It was hard enough to say what he had to you, but he was realizing he was going to have to delve even deeper to make you even look at him again or want to be around him.

Finally he goes to the front door of your apartment before he looks back down the hallway. He didn't want to leave, didn't want you to wake up and him not be there despite what you said about wanting him to leave. He wanted you to understand that he wasn't going anywhere and that he was never going to leave you ever again no matter how hard you tried to push him away. But he needed to leave now, not for long, just long enough for him to get what he needed.

He had seen the florist shop on the corner when Butcher drove up. As Ben walked down the street in the direction of the florist he remembered the conversation he had with Butcher after you slammed your door in his face. Convincing Butcher to let him remain in the apartment was difficult, but finally when Ben threatened to rip Hughie in half, Butcher relented stating that he would give Ben one night with you before he came back. That was the deal anyway, Ben had lied, because like hell he was going to leave now that he'd found you again.

Ben wasn't planning on leaving and even if you couldn't stand to look at him, Ben would not go. Even if it meant sleeping on that shitty couch every night.

He would never leave you again.

The smell of the flowers wafted out of the small shop when Ben opens the door, his eyes skating across the numerous bouquets, each one more extravagant than the last. Other women would swoon over them, but not you. His eyes fall first on roses, but he turns away. He knew that you didn’t like roses, although many believed them to be classic, Ben knew that you thought over the years that roses had become generic and overused. He of course had sent some to numerous women over the years, but he liked that you were different. He always liked that about you. He rolls his eyes when he remembered when Howard bought you some every week.

Because of course that asshole didn’t know what y/n liked. No one knows her as well as me.

The man behind the counter eyes him when he walks in. "Can I help you find something sir?"

"No." Ben says gruffy looking at the displays again, but then he sighs. "Do you have any lavender?"

"Lavender?"

"Yeah." Ben knew it was the only thing that you would accept, knew that it was your favorite because it reminded you of the house your family rented over the summers up North. Ben hated those summers. He'd break into your bedroom and sleep in your bed while thinking of you and reading the letters you sent him over and over again, the ones that you pressed fresh lavender into and the ones that made him realize just how much he needed you.

Those of course weren’t the only letters you ever sent him. When he went to boarding school he’d wait for you to send him a letter and one of your doodles or a small painting. He kept every one in a cigar box under his bed. It was why he was kicked out of boarding school number nine, a fight he had with another student began because the student had found the box and then proceeded to mock Ben endlessly by passing around the letters you sent him. Ben had never told you what the fight was about.

Ben stops as he realizes how he’s going to get you to listen to him.

“Here you are sir.” The florist reappears at the counter holding a large vase of freshly cut lavender.

“Do you have a phone I can borrow?” Ben asks.

“Sure.”

The object the man hands him is not a phone, well not a phone that Ben’s ever seen before.

“I said a phone-“

“That is a phone?” The man looks confused.

“How do I fucking call someone with this?” Ben sighs shaking the black rectangle in his hand and looking for the buttons.

The man takes the object and swipes his fingers across it before handing it back to him so Ben can see the numbers to dial. “Just push what you want and hit the green button.” The man says, looking at Ben like he's crazy.

“Oh. Thanks.” He mutters, before dialing the number and holding the phone up to his ear.

Legend answers on the first ring.

“Hey it’s me. Do you still have all my old shit from my apartment?”

“Somewhere.”

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

N/A: Why not end on a cliffhanger? This chapter is a bit longer, because this week is CRAZY for me and I'm not sure when I'll be able to write the next chapter. But I'm not giving up on these two. They deserve the world.

Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you guys think. If you'd like to be added to my taglist, please let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303

@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs

@bughill126 @simplyfixated @sleepjam @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts

@onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress

@my-obsession-spn @lifeonawhim @soldirboy @liuope @brynanna

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#soldier boy x you #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy x female reader #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy #soldier boy/ben #the boys #jensen ackles #soldier boy fic #billy butcher #the boys amazon #hughie campbell #the boys fanfic #jackles #the boys season 3 #the boys series #the boys tv #the boys s3

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meaeris · 2 years ago

Text

beyond all expectations

pairing: sebastian sallow x f.mc

genres: fluff, (a little) angst

summary: in which the protagonist is practicing to become an animagus and things, contrary to her expectations, go exactly as planned. more or less.

warnings: takes place one year later. spoiler for sebastian's quest. mention of character's death. hurt/trauma. Mc has a random name because i don't like using y/n or 2nd pov.

A.N. hi! i don't usually write fanfictions since english is not my first language, but i had this cute scenario in mind and had to write it down, so forgive some mistakes and inaccuracies. this is a repost from ao3. thank you for reading and interactions are super appreciated!

The problem was that Allie, wonder-child and proud Slytherin, had underestimated her abilities.

She didn't think for a moment that she would be able to transform so soon and, above all, she didn't think that the transformation would be so well executed that she wouldn’t be able to return to her human form.

"Don't panic" she thought, panicking.

Certainly Hogwarts couldn’t be defined as a cheap structure in terms of grandeur, yet now everything around her appeared immensely bigger and infinitely more majestic. She turned around and watched her own tail wag furiously behind her. Cats do that when they're nervous, right? She didn't know. She wasn't a cat expert whatsoever, for the only ones she had to deal with were the ones that roamed the castle. And now, herself.

A wave of delusion swept over her. It couldn't have been worse. Of all the animals she could turn into, a cat? Such a common animal? Her Slytherin pride was more than slightly hurt. Peering through some reflective surfaces, she managed to take a glimpse of her appearances: short gray fur, slender paws and deep aquamarine eyes. She wasn't just some common breed, at least. What was it called? A russian blue? Perhaps. Although there weren't traces of blue whatsoever.

The girl-prodigy (that's how some people called her) tried and retried several times to return to her normal form. She failed. A Slytherin who couldn't revert back a spell? What would her housemates say? What would her professors say? And after everything she had accomplished the year before! Defeated goblins, dragons, dark wizards… yet now the obstacle was herself.

She sneaked out of the girls' bathroom where she had been practicing until a few minutes ago and attempted to interact with the other students. Maybe someone would recognize her?

Misplaced hopes. Everyone mistook her for an ordinary cat, one of the many that occupied the school. Only a tiny less friendly, as she hissed and quickly sprang away whenever someone tried to pet her.

"Merlin's beard, why is this castle so big?!" she thought more and more irritated. She had no idea what to do. The worst thing? She could involuntarily transform back any time and end up naked in the corridors. In front of everyone. No. She would rather remain a cat forever.

"Of course, the wand! I'm an idiot, I could have brought it with me. Maybe showing it to someone will make them realize it's me."

She went back, not without getting lost a couple of times. Her sense of direction, now that she was seeing everything from a different perspective, had definitely worsened. The bathrooms were empty, and the room in which she had changed was still locked from the inside. With difficulty, she slipped again under the wooden doors and found her wand submerged by the clothes. She took the wand with her mouth, but she couldn’t manage to make it pass through the big pile of clothing. She wasn’t used to her feline body yet and everything felt like learning to walk for the first time. Her mouth felt stuck and the wand abnormally heavy. From bad to worse, no one would have noticed her clothes because from the outside it would have looked like an occupied bathroom.

She got an idea. She headed to Professor Onai's divination classroom, hoping to run into Natty. As the only Animagus she knew, the Gryffindor girl was aware of her attempts to become one. But so far every attempt had been unsuccessfull. Until that day.

She arrived at the entrance of the classroom, but realized she had forgotten an important detail: the ladder in front of her. She would have never been able to climb it, not in this form. She started meowing wildly, hoping someone would hear. It worked. Professor Onai, perhaps annoyed by that cry (which in her hindsight sounded more like a cat about to vomit), looked out from the upper entrance with a soft smile.

- You can't stay here, little one. Class is about to start. Shoo!

And that was that. The teacher disappeared and the girl (cat) stood there, looking up, as if expecting divine help. She cursed (meowing).

The lesson would last a long time, she didn't have time to wait. She had to do something.

If Natty wasn't available, there were only two options left.

She wasn't too proud of it, but in two years at Hogwarts she hadn't managed to make that many friends. Despite everything she'd done to save the school? Well... yes. But perhaps it was her fault, as she’d never been the reincarnation of friendship and affection, as much as she tried. Only Ominis Gaunt and Sebastian Sallow could define themselves as “companions”, at the moment. A direct consequence of sharing a deadly adventure that ends in tragedy. Natty and Poppy? Good company, surely, but they didn't have many occasions to meet, being from different houses and all.

It had now been a year since Sebastian's uncle died, and he still hadn't been able to forgive himself. He smiled and joked around much less than before. Everyone noticed that. Ominis, for his part, took a long time to accept things as they were, but when he realized that Sebastian needed friends, now more than ever, he decided that regret was better than anger. The three had become even more close, and they seldom left each other’s side. Although the topic was left untouched and a tense atmosphere was palpable everytime someone received a letter from their relatives.

She immediately thought of Ominis. He was the more conscientious of the two, the one with common sense, some would say, and he would have certainly uncovered her transformation if it wasn’t for a small... technical problem. He would simply hear her meowing madly and he would, rightfully so, ignore her, as he did with most of the cats. Although Sebastian admitted he caught the Gaunt boy secretly feeding them a couple of times.

And Sebastian? Well, let's just say she had been trying to avoid him lately. Not out of malice, but due to the effect that the boy's presence was having on her stomach. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but at the same time... it scared her. She was scared that this feeling had a name. After all, who would ever consider someone like her that way? Sebastian was smart, charismatic and charming, traits that certainly didn't went unnoticed by fellow Slytherin (or not) gals. At the same time, he exuded this unapproachable aura that seemed to scare his suitors away. Although some would say it was due to his close friendship with Ominis, despite the Gaunt boy being one of the kindest people she ever met... despite his, well, mood swings. He certainly didn't deserve such a treatment just because of his family reputation.

At the moment she had no choice. Burying useless emotions inside, she knew where Sebastian was, for they roamed together so often now that she had learned their schedules. She made her way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts tower and luckily, she spotted Sebastian walking out of the classroom. She waited until he was isolated from the other students and tried to get his attention. She waddled towards him and began meowing at his legs.

"Sebastian! It's me!"

- Hello there, small one. Are you looking for attention? - said the boy, kneeling at the height of the feline. His scottish accent sounded more pronounced with her feline ears.

"NO! I mean, yes, but not in that way!"

- How precocious. Are you hungry?

"No! I mean, I kinda am now that I think about it... but that's not important now!"

She tried everything: she rolled, jumped, scratched his shoes (which caused a gasp of disappointment) and even tried to stand on two legs. All of which only contributed to the "hungry cat" image that Sebastian already had. Other than making her own head spin.

- I'm sorry, I don't have any food for you - Sebastian shook his head in amusement and started to walk away, but Allie, desperate, followed him. A few minutes later Ominis showed up, wand in hand.

- What’s going on? – he asked, probably having heard the miserable cry from afar.

- I don’t know, this cat seems to be mad at me. It's been following me since I left the classroom.

"Then ask yourself some questions!"

Ominis raised an eyebrow.

- Maybe it's hungry. Or in heat.

"OMINIS!"

The two laughed and simply left her there.

“Come back, you buffoons! Don't leave me alone!”

- Shall we go to the Undercroft? Allie should join us soon.

Of course! Only the three of them knew about that place. If she showed that she knew, somehow, maybe they would finally put two and two together. Besides, if she was late, they would get suspicious. She was never late for anything. Of course, except that time she managed to be late for her sorting ceremony, but that was a special case out of her control.

She ran away, under Sebastian's perplexed gaze, and preceded them towards the entrance to the Undercroft, a gothic clock meticulously decorated by blue and gold hues, an elegant design that recalled the starry sky.

The only positive thing about the situation was that she got there before them, thanks to her four legs.

When Sebastian noticed her, he didn't hide a surprised grin. It didn't happen often, but the freckles on the boy's face seemed to stand out even more. She liked that expression a lot and, for a second, thought it was kinda cute.

- What the...

Ominis lowered his wand.

- What are you doing here? - Sebastian remarked more and more confused.

- Did it follow us?

- I'm positive it got here before us.

-Well, it's a cat… it wouldn't surprise me if it knew this place better than we do.

"Ominis, you and your logic, shut up for once!"

Sebastian abandoned himself to a slight smirk.

- Well, I don't think a cat might blurt out anything about this place. If it wants to come, let it come.

After her meow of approval, Sebastian walked over and bent down to pick her up. Normally she would have wriggled herself free if it was anyone else. But Sebastian wasn't anyone else. She relaxed and the floor moved far from of her view, making her feel slightly dizzy. She may have been a cat, but she’d been one for less than an hour.

Sebastian snuggled her into his arms and her heart went crazy, leaping into her throat.

- It's purring - Ominis noted, hinting a smile.

- And here I thought you hated me - Sebastian joked with his typical flirty tone.

“I want to dig a hole and bury myself in.”

When this was over, she was going to obliviate anyone that knew, she thought. They crossed the rusty gate and, once inside, Sebastian left her on the ground. The poor teen (cat), still panicking and probably thinking about a spell for grave-digging, didn't move for a couple of minutes.

- It could keep us company, as long as we are careful not to cast spells on him by mistake - Sebastian suggested, taking off his robe and placing it on the ground in a corner. He took out his wand and twirled it with his wrist, as if practicing movements.

- Are you sure it’s a him?

- I don’t know.

- I've heard that females have a smaller head compared to males.

Sebastian looked closely at her, who was now sitting next to them. If any other cat saw her right now, they would have probably stayed kilometers away from her.

- I frankly can't tell... if nothing else, I almost have the impression that it can understand what we're saying.

"I do in fact, and yet you're just spouting nonsense!"

She meowed in disapproval and two heads whipped towards her.

- See? - said the brunette.

- It is kinda bizarre - Ominis confirmed, perplexed.

- Maybe it belongs to someone and it got lost. We should take it to the professors later.

"You two are definitely not Ravenclaw."

The two spoke no more. Sebastian practiced with the training dummies while Ominis read a book in braille.

She had run out of ideas. She had tried everything, and the two seemed to ask the right questions, but not enough. So she just lay there, taking everything in for once, admiring her friends. Maybe it was the new point of view, but Sebastian definitely got taller, compared to last year. Taller and sturdier, although his complexion remained the perfect mix of soft and manly features. Ominis didn't change much, but bis cheekbones were more prominent and slightly higher, framing a tad more mature face. On the other hand, she remained exactly as she's always been, if not with increased dark circles and puffiness under her eyes.

An hour later Sebastian realized something was wrong.

- She's late - he observed, leaning against a big box and taking a breath. - How many times has it happened so far?

- In two years? Never, - Ominis confirmed, - Except that time she was held by Professor Garlick for being bitten on the ear by a chomping cabbage.

- That was actually rather funny. It was the first time I saw Allie spill some tears.

At the mention of her name (and trying really hard to ignore what he’d just said), she got up and leapt at Sebastian's legs, meowing so wildly that from afar it would have sounded like someone was torturing a stray cat.

This attracted Ominis' attention, who took his hands away from the book and placed it at his feet. He was getting suspicious.

Sebastian knelt down and inquisitively looked into her light eyes. She reciprocated, but that strange feeling in her stomach didn't take long to manifest.

- Here’s the thing… - he began, tilting his head towards Ominis with his eyes half closed. - Didn't Allie say she was training to become an Animagus?

Ominis knew immediately what he was implying. - For some months, yes.

- Did she ever succeed?

- As far as I know, never.

She meowed again and spun around.

Sebastian's eyes seemed to light up for a moment.

- Could it be... is that you, Allie?

"At last! Honour your name, Mr Sallow!"

She meowed and jumped, twice.

Sebastian took his wand, pointed it at the animal and spelt "Revelio!".

Nothing happened.

Sebastian sighed. - Maybe I'm reading too much into it...

At this, before Ominis could intervene, she lost her patience and grabbed his trousers with her pointed teeth, biting his skin in the process.

- Ouch! Okay, wait, let me try again! What was the spell... I read it once in a book of transfiguration…

He thought about it for a moment, until he snapped his fingers in ecstasy. He cast a spell she had never heard before and a blue light enveloped her body. For a moment she felt nothing. Then she sensed that her body began to change. Without thinking twice, she ran over to the robe Sebastian had set down earlier and mentally thanked him for doing so.

The transformation was undone and Allie found herself with Sebastian's robe wrapped around her body.

- Finally! Everything is at its right height. That was horrible! - she cried, stretching and shrinking in order to feel her bones again.

Perhaps from the effect of the spell, or perhaps from the sudden cold of the dungeons, she sneezed.

- Merlin! - Sebastian exclaimed, and turned away uneasy with eyes wide open.

- Allie? It's you? - Ominis asked, turning towards her, and for once she was thankful that he couldn't see.

Sebastian was looking at the wall. - What the bloody hell happened?

- I wish I knew! I was practicing the whole Animagus thing in the bathrooms, when suddenly it worked, and I...

- You were practicing? - Sebastian repeated.

- Yes.

- In the bathrooms? - he began to turn around to show his disappointment, but soon realized the embarrassing situation she was in and changed his mind.

-Yes. I mean, no... wait, that doesn't matter! Contrary to my predictions, it worked, too well in fact, and I couldn't turn back. Took you long enough to notice!

- How were we supposed to know?! You could have asked the professors!

- Ask, how, exactly? All I could do was meow. And besides, admit to a professor that I failed such a simple thing after all I've been through? No way. It would have been humiliating!

Sebastian didn't say anything more, as if he got the point.

- Well, for instance... you should put some clothes on.

She blushed furiously. - I would do it myself, but my wand was left in the bathroom along with everything else.

- It's fine - interrupted Ominis. - I'll go get them.

Probably understanding the situation better than Sebastian, Ominis offered himself to go retrieve everything. How, she didn't want to ask, but she trusted Ominis more than anyone.

- Thank you...

Ominis went through the secret passage. Two of them were left.

She sighed, both tired and awkward about the whole situation. - I'm sorry for all this mess. I really didn't think it would work… it was honestly just for fun.

Sebastian sighed and seemed to realize the irony of the situation. He giggled. - It's all right. But I think you should stop underestimating yourself so much.

She slumped her shoulders. Maybe it was the tense situation, or maybe it was the fact that she felt naked for the first time in front of someone (metaphorically and physically). She felt like confiding in Sebastian. - You'd think that after all that happened last year I'd be more confident, but it's not easy.

Sebastian crouched, leaning against a stone wall, a leg bent over his chest, the other stretched on the cold floor. He turned to look into her eyes, feeling the discussion was getting serious.

- You guys had four years to practice magic, but I had just one year to catch up with you lots. And yet everyone has expectations from me. I have to prove myself, and I have to do it quickly. Otherwise-

"I may as well turn back to my pitiful muggle life" she thought, but didn't say it out loud.

- I think you proved yourself enough - Sebastian admitted, not without a hint of irritation. - The goblins, the whole business with Anne and... my uncle. You've endured more than any Hogwarts student ever had. You should be proud of yourself.

- Only because I was not alone.

She was staring at him and he understood. He suddenly found his shoes more interesting than everything else in the room.

There had never been a real discussion after the events of the previous year. Perhaps out of fear, or shame, or both, but none of the three ever dared to press the subject. Therefore what she said next was like opening a forbidden box.

- I'm so sorry about your uncle.

He tightened his fists. - Yes, well... I've been living with regret all this time, and it's what I deserve. I haven’t heard from Anne since.

She looked at the ceiling and gripped the dark robe closer. - I won't tell you that with time she will change her mind and forgive you, because I don't know. But I think that it's never too late to redeem yourself.

- But how? - Sebastian asked, hiding a stutter.

- I don't know... Only time will tell.

Sebastian raised his head. He had those afflicted eyes that Allie couldn't stand to see. If she had some way to turn back time, she would do anything to stop Sebastian from casting that damned spell. If there was a dark magic spell that could help rewrite the past, she would cast it with no hesitation.

"What a hypocrite I am."

She suddenly had this urge to get up and hug him, but she obviously couldn't. For multiple reasons.

Sensing her feelings, he simply said, - Thank you, - and that was enough. The two smiled awkwardly at each other. After a while, he spoke again. - I have a question, if you don't mind. Have you been avoiding me lately?

She swallowed. - What makes you think that?

- I don't know... just an impression.

- It is. I would never avoid you.

She didn't mean anything by it, especially because it was a lie, but for some reason such a simple sentence felt like it had a double meaning. Sebastian seemed to grasp it too, and he scratched the back of his neck.

Not much time later, Ominis came back with her clothing and wand. She changed herself with magic as quickly as she could.

- How did you get these in the girl's bathroom? - Sebastian asked warily.

- Let's not get into details.

***

After thanking Ominis multiple times, she left the Undercroft for Potion class, while the other two gathered their things and slowly made their way out.

- What did the two of you do while I was gone?

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. - We talked?

- About what?

- Just small talk.

- Really.

Silence.

- You held her in your arms. And she purred.

Sebastian cheeks flushed and he was glad that Ominis couldn't see.

- Don't you start again, Ominis.

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x mc #hogwarts legacy #mea's post #sebastian sallow x oc #sebastian sallow x reader

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kilalulu-elsie · 7 months ago

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My UNprofessional opinion on The Last Ronin: Lost Years' new turtle team's species

because no one else is doing it WHERE ARE THE EXPERTS???

Warning: I didn't read the comics, all I know about the little 1's comes from au's, fanon contents, the snippets of comic pages I collected across the internet, and analysis videos (I can't read The Last Ronin comics, my heart can't take it), so don't take me too seriously, these are just guesses. Also, I don't know much about turtles, I just read a book one afternoon to find out more about the Rise turtles' species and take a look around the other turtles out of curiosity. And I read somewhere that they might not be just one species but a special combination of turtles to make the perfect soldiers? But I don't know, I still wanna do this so here we go (forgive my bad english):

So for starters, the first time I saw Uno I was automatically like "oh they used a Diamondback Terrapin hell yeah" and I'm pretty confident about my first guess because look at this:

just look at it:

I don't think I need to explain myself here. Sure he doesn't have the diamond shape in his shell and his shellshape doesn't exactly match but I believe those are more of artistic choices rather than eliminating factors. Also I've never seen any other turtle species that has this color scheme (and again, I didn't see many) and I've seen so many Diamondback Terrapin designs for Venus and it's awesome, so

My first guess is Uno is a Diamondback Terrapin.

For my second guess, Moja, I have a lot of leads because her colors are more of brown tones rather than green and well, most turtles are green. So I looked up brown, light spotted turtles and I found a species called Eastern Box Turtle. Maybe not exactly spot on but I think its pretty close:

Ornate Box Turtles have various spots on their bodies so that would kinda match with her spotty skin and face markings.

But the shell is bugging me. Because Box Turtles have a very bumpy and round shaped carapace but Moja's shell is flatter and has an interesting shape that I think should be considered.

But I don't know so I'll leave it at that.

My second guess is Moja is an Ornate Box Turtle.

Now,

for Odyn,

I have no clue.

I don't wanna say Snapping Turtle because Rise Raph is already a Snapping Turtle and Odyn's shell is not spikey anyway. But I couldn't find any turtles that has spiky skin and smooth carapace so I went with vibes. And I found the Loggerhead Musk Turtle. Just look at how silly it looks:

I think their sillines match and that's all I need.

My third guess is Odyn is a Loggerhead Musk Turtle.

Lastly, for lovely little Yi, I have a pretty good guess. Now if we look at her the most obvious clue that we have is her yellow markings across all of her body. They're not like Moja's spotty and round shaped markings tho, they're more stilty and linelike. Also her plastron is yellow enough to get my attention. And she's small. My guess doesn't really support that but at least they're smaller than my other guess, Florida Redbelly's. So, I propose: Yellowbelly Slider Turtle.

I'd say that's pretty close.

My fourth guess is Yi is a Yellowbelly Slider Turtle.

Maybe I should've considered their name's origins like Uno is Italian for one, Odyn is Ukranian or Russian for one, Moja is Swahili for one and Yi is Chinese for one, but I'm lazy.

Now please science side of Tumblr, turtle nerds, certain autistic fellas, TMNT fans, and all who's interested, correct me and my mistakes so that I can know their species I need to know I tell you I need to know.

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biconickyoshi · 6 months ago

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Hi! The Zukaang prophecy dream person here. What you said about a lot of people not even considering Aang and Zuko as a ship made me think. Following that thought, I fell down a rabbit hole that turned into something a lot deeper than just shipping discourse. I'm not a professional psychologist or anything, but I hope some of my insight on this topic is interesting. I apologise in advance for so many words to read!

As a kid I remember being very clueless about romance. I never really interpreted Aang's affection towards Katara as romantic at all, and I honestly have no idea why, since they literally kissed on screen multiple times. So that's why, for years, I remember trying to find a ship that I would like, yet nothing seemed to click just right. That is until the Avatar Renaissance of 2020 when a lot of new people joined the fandom, and a flood of new discussions arose, way different than it used to be years ago. It made me realize that the core of the issue lies in Aang himself. At least that's my own theory, feel free to disagree. A lot of popular avatar ships include everyone from the main cast, but rarely ever Aang himself, apart from the canon Kataang. In all aspects, Aang is an unconventional protagonist, one unheard of at the time. He is a monk, he is a pacifist, he is a vegetarian. For an average kid or teenager in 2005, I don't think much of these aspects are too relatable. We were and still are used to seeing agressive, determined teenage protagonists, ready to beat up the bad guy at any opportunity. That's what was considered "cool". So a bald 12 year old boy with an arrow on his head who grew up in a temple, surrounded by monks, who avoids hurting people, even those who wiped out his entire nation, is simply foreign. You often hear arguments against Kataang: he is too young for her, she sees him as a little brother, they simply don't fit. Those are all false statements, as rewatching the show without bias you can clearly see them love each other deeply and mutually. Aang is a child, but he is a person too, someone with his own values and principles, and so is Katara. To me, both of them are deserving of love, Aang is deserving of Katara's love.

I am now going to talk about the genocide of the air nomads, as I think I can provide a unique perspective on this. I am Ukrainian. The russian invasion of my country has been going for 10 years now, but two years ago specifically my whole world turned upside down when russia launched a full scale invasion, intending to conquer all of Ukraine. A lot of my beliefs of how the world worked changed drastically. Seeing myself from years ago in people from around the world, not yet knowing war, I think this is something you have to experience yourself to truly understand what it means for another nation to want yours erased from existence. Aang's entire nation is gone. Everyone. No one is alive, not a single person. I don't think many people truly let that sink in. He has to keep going every day with the knowledge that the world he is in doesn't have a place for his nation anymore. He has nowhere to go and no one to come to. He has the gaang, and that's wonderful, but it's not the same. He is the only person in the entire world who truly bears this pain. To me, imagining that for myself, is an indescribable horror. To imagine having no place to come back to, living among strangers who know nothing of you and your people. Yes, he has the temples that preseve history, but how much of them has been destroyed? Even the people at the Northern air temple, although fleeing a disaster, still contributed to the destruction and loss of that history.

Yet, bearing this unimaginative hurt, Aang is able to forgive. He is able to make peace with his loss, and let go of his feelings of rage. He wants to see good in the Fire nation people. And through that, he is the only one who can truly see Zuko as he is. Having let go of anger and hurt, he can see the genuine wish Zuko has for atoning for his family's sins. He can literally see through him, all his feelings and thoughts, like no one else. He holds no grudge, no hatered for him. If you ever have a war, genocide unleashed on your country, you would know how impossible it is to forgive. Yet, Aang, as the avatar, has no choice but to do just that, to let go. I think that alone makes Aang one of the strongest people in the avatar universe.

But how is this relevant to the Aang ships being dismissed? Circling back, to me, this is a matter of understanding. People resonate with Katara for her experience as a younger sister, thrown into the role of a mother figure, for her experience as a teenage girl in a sexist world, someone with a desire to become stronger despite being denied that opportunity, be it by the circumstances or by someone stronger than her deeming her "unworthy". People resonate with Sokka for his struggle to become a reliable leader, for his insecurity being the only one without a special "talent" (aka bending). Toph for her sheltered upbringing and parents that are unwilling to see her as more than just her disability. Zuko for his struggle with his identity, his own values versus those forced upon him, an abusive household, repressed emotions and anger, being a sibling of someone way more naturally talented, coming to terms with the hurt he has caused and atoning for it. But what can people find in Aang that resonates with them? All of what Aang is, is grand and bigger than yourself. I relate to Aang as someone whose nation is being subjected to genocide, but is that a common experience? I'm sure that nowadays a lot more people came to appreciate Aang's character more, but as a child in the 2000s, would you really say you saw yourself in Aang as much as you saw yourself in Sokka, Katara, Toph or Zuko?

In conclusion, my theory is that, because of how unique Aang has been written, that prevents people from seeing him as someone they could imagine in a relationship with someone else. After all, how can you write about someone you don't share many life experiences with? How do you write them in love? How do you make someone so different from you come to life?

Anyway, thanks a lot for reading all of my brain vomit. Avatar is truly a goldmine for character analysis and study. Would really love to hear what you think!

I absolutely loved reading your analysis on Aang's character, anon. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've brought up here. I think it's so true that many people (whether they're conscious of it or not) view Aang through a certain lens due to how unconventional of a protagonist and person he is. To many, he's not "supposed" to be the one who "gets the girl". He's not your stereotypical handsome/buff/rugged teenage boy protagonist; he's small, kind, goofy, and pacifistic. And I think in general that people find it difficult to wrap their heads around a male character like Aang not conforming to Western and/or patriarchal society's expectations/conventions when it comes to behavior and overall physical appearance. I think this also results in a lot of people unconsciously infantilizing Aang and having a hard time viewing him in a shippable way.

It's also interesting that you brought up Aang's almost "otherness" when it comes to the world he finds himself in when he awakens from the iceberg - he is the last one of his kind in a world where nobody remembers his people. He's from a culture that is vastly different from the ones that remain in the world. His philosophy, mannerisms, gender expression, appearance, etc. are all completely unique, not only canonically in the post-genocide AtLA world, but in our world as well, especially in the West.

The fact that despite everything Aang has been through, despite all the atrocities he has witnessed, he still is able to remain true to himself at his core through to the very end is so moving to me. Aang will always be my favorite character all time simply because of who he is. Even as a kid, I loved him so much - I never had a crush on Zuko or Sokka, it was always Aang. He represented not only the type of person I would want to be, but also the type of person I would want to be with. And sure, he's not perfect, but that's another one of the many things I love about him - he's human, he makes mistakes.

I feel like I could say more, but you already wrote so much good stuff in your analysis, and I'm not sure if there's much I could add haha.

Also, thank you for sharing your perspective as someone who lives in Ukraine - I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be dealing with all of Russia's BS the past decade, and especially recently. I sincerely hope you're staying safe and healthy! <3

#asks #zukaang #atla #atla meta #zuko #aang #the gaang #avatar the last airbender #aanglove

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ashecampos · 2 years ago

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RADIO SILENCE

wandaxreader (relationship) yelenaxreader + natxreader (siblings)

reader uses they/them pronouns

Warnings - angst angst and a sprinkle of angst

another silly little one shot no one asked for. For this one I took inspiration from that one episode of b99 where Rosa is on duty at an active shooting. Pre warning I did write this at 4am, my body was running on nicotine and coffee so please forgive me if this is bad <3

🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Wanda’s pov - 9am - Avengers Tower

🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

I stare at the clock as it slowly but surely moves, both arms moving but never seeming to meet each other, I look back to the time it displays, a tired yawn escapes my body. The meeting has only been going on for 20 minutes. Thing is I wouldn’t have been this tired if Y/N wasn’t put on early morning patrol duty. It’s normally the younger avengers who get forced to patrol the streets of NewYork on the mornings as all they have to do is stop a few robbers or help some old grandmother across the busy streets and even if there happened to be an avengers level threat they had their radio to call for backup. It was supposed to be Peter on duty today. But the little pesky bug boy decided he would much rather see to his aunt and her boyfriends anniversary plans than do what he is being payed for. The rest of the young avengers are at school, on Y/N’s request of course.

“Hey Sabrina you listening?” Tony interrupts my train of thought, I look up and see him and a few other staring at me “yeah sorry” I say with a gentle smile as they carry on their meeting.

Where was I? Oh yes my partner. My stupid adorable partner. They being the trouper that they are told Peter that they would happily take his shift on patrol, in which meaning them waking up at 4:30am, also meaning they woke me up as they being the clumsy person they are tripped over their own suit in their tired state, making suck a racket. Anyway that lead me to where we are now. Tired. Groggy and in a meeting. Thanks y/n.

After another half an hour of listening to absolutely everything. Sorry nothing of what Tony just rambled on about, Fury came rushing in with Maria. They looked broken. “Rogers, radio stat” Fury demanded as he pointed at the star spangled man. Steve being the perfect solider he is, he turned on and placed his radio on the desk for everyone to hear.

the small box crackles and squeals before a voice comes on “BREAKING NEWS!. I’m NewYork a shooting has occurred, all we know as yet is that the shooter is active and still on the scene. The shooting started at around 8am and is taking place at the american museum of natural history. The shooter is said to be armed with space tech. Anyone near the museum must evacuate and stay as far away as possible.” the radio then crackles and goes silent again. “and where is this museum?” Clint asks “upper west side” Bruce says without missing a beat. Looking around the room to see what the game plan is I see Nat’s face go sickeningly pale. “upper west side?” She asks, her voice cracking a little. I look at my future sister in law and it hits me. Yelena and Y/N. They both took their duty on upper west side an hour ago due to some reports of a commotion in some boring museum.

Fiddling with one of the radios, Clint manages to get connected to a police hotline, we can now hear if there is any updates on what shield agents are in the building. “Okay now agents of the shield facility I need anyone who is still standing to read their badge numbers” an officer says with a hint of boredom in his voice. Nat comes over to sit closer to me, everyone’s attention now glued to the tiny radio on the table. This meeting not being so boring anymore. “Agent104” some man says “agent233” another woman says, the list goes on for a few minutes until we hear a Russian accent, me and Nat lean forward in our chairs praying for either yelena or y/n or even just one of the twins. To everyone’s relief it was yelenas voice coming through “agents 443 and 444” she said. A big sigh is released as the twins are alive. But for how long? “We will be asking for hourly updates agents. If anyone is to come into contact with the shooter, do not touch the gun” the officer on the other end says with a hint of urgency.

Nat stands up first “we need to go help them” she pleas. “Negative, we stay here as ordered” Fury says as he leaves the room. Shaking her head Nat goes to the doorway and gets agitated “no Nick, both of my siblings are in there. You don’t tell me to follow orders” she snaps a little “Actually Romanoff, we need to stay here in case of an emergency, the avengers tower is open to the public who are in need of medical assistance.” Fury counteracts with his statement, he does have a point, however my partner and their sister are in that building. “we are to stay in this room and hope for the best. Understood?” He says his final warning before leaving the room.

Four long suffocating hours go by, none of us had left the meeting room. The radio went off every hour, agents would call their badge number into their radio, every hour there would be less and less calling their number. Meaning more and more casualties had occurred. Yelena and y/n hadn’t missed one calling yet. The team where getting bored by now, me and Nat pacing the room, everyone had enough. “That’s it. Both of you go to Y/N’s room and find something to keep yourself busy with. Now and stay there” Thor said, loudly and firmly, not taking no for an answer, me and Nat left the meeting room, making a quick entrance to Y/N’s room, their pink guitar laid on the bed from the previous night where they had sang to me, looking around nat sighed, she started to move stuff and clean.

An hour later there was a knock on the door, it opened as it was motion censored, Yelena stood in the doorway, swear covering her small face, Nat ran over to greet her younger sister, she engulfed her in a bone crushing hug. But where was the identical face that matched Yelena’s? “Lena oh my god never leave me again please” Nat says before looking back up, breaking the hug and going to move yelena aside to get to her other sibling, upon doing this she realised the worst. Y/n wasnt stood there with their arms open ready to be squeezed to death by their older sister. “Lena..where are they?” Nat asked urgently, praying that her sibling was just at med bay for another stupid reason as they always where. Yelena shrugged, her head lowered, eyes watery. “I-i don’t know Tasha, they told me to run ahead and that they would distract the bad guys and be right with me but when I got here they weren’t there” yelena sobbed, her words barely translatable. Nat guides us all to the bed, there was not one dry eye in the room as we all sobbed mourning the perfectly stupid person we all loved. To keep our minds off of whatever or wherever y/n had been, Nat told us to help her replace Y/N’s guitar strings as they hadn’t gotten around to doing it themselves.

An hour later, I give up “this is fucking useless Nat none of us know how to do this, we are just fucking it up the more we try.” I snap “the love of my life is out there in that stupid fucking museum and I don’t even know if they are dead or alive, I can’t feel them, I love them so much” I sob

“Jesus I mean I love you too but the crying..dramatic as fuck cara mia” I hear a voice behind me say, the voice is raspy and low. I look at Nat and yelena, they look shocked, I spin around and run to tackle the person. My person. “Oh my god Y/N”

#reader insert #x y/n #wanda maximoff #wanda maximov #avengers #comfort #the avengers #wanda mcu #hawkeye #natalie rushman #natasha romanov #depression #incorrect quotes #kate bishop #wanda x nat x reader #yelena belova #b99 imagine #b99 reference #b99 spoilers

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boozeforblues · 7 months ago

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Sometimes We Aren't Meant To Get Over Someone, And We Go On Living A Little Bit Emptier

Number one with a bullet, malady your middle name Found yourself a one person game But Russian roulette is pointless with hollow tips It wasn't loose lips that sank your ship It was that awful ability to keep a secret I only lent you my ear, I never meant for you to keep it A modern day Van Gogh, but you were no whore You're the reason I cringe when I see a closed door A life of ill will and idle consumption I'm beginning to think maybe I was just jealous of your gumption Putting your deepest thoughts into action Penning soliloquies with the caption ‘What’s wrong for you is right up my alley’ What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t keep an accurate tally? If this story is parenthetical, consider me a comma Cutaways to the worst kinds of trauma You finished your story with a twist so far from splendid The irony is that your nightmare ended While mine didn’t, no existential savior or mental extrication Could’ve stopped my mind from racing to find another explanation You must’ve fallen asleep on the floor; black contacts and fake blood, your grand opus Completely left me without the ability to focus On the there and then, but the here and now Keeps dragging me back to the depths somehow All these memories left on the shelf I learned to forgive you, but not myself And now the foot's in the other shoe I'm told I can't keep blaming myself for losing you I'd be inclined to agree if I had any other heart But I've all too often put the horse before the cart Mystery shopper with a disdain for the only merchandise You were selling, neither one of us could afford the purchase price A toast to innocence, so no glasses are lifted I'm thankful to your parents for having gifted Your presence to me for the limited time we had A smirk still graces my face when I think of every time I encouraged you to be bad You warred with your better angels and came out on top Remembering the rush when we told that cop To fuck off after the bowling alley incident Word got back to me that the weather was inclement On the day they let the wind have your remains And it took everything in me to refrain From delivering the eulogy I knew would make you smile Here's to every god forsaken lonely mile That I walked without your malformed guidance And I'm not looking to recreate the alliance That we formed with our own worst intentions They gave you back to the earth with an honorable mention Hopelessness was your last meal and you dined like a king Strike us from the record because we haven’t learned a thing…

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samuelroukin · 8 months ago

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btw i was fully planning to come here and call em gringos but then the game went and made a whole thing out of that

the whole "green go home" story that alejandro tells gaz is pretty much pure bullshit (that sounded harsh. it's just yk one of those fun facts that aren't very factual at all)

the origin of the word gringo is mostly uncertain but a much better explanation is that it came from "griego" (Greek, in Spanish) bc the Spanish used it to refer to foreign people who spoke weird ass difficult languages (like greek, to them)

and it does make perfect sense to me bc as a latino myself i can tell you that we do say "am i speaking in greek, by any chance?" to be a little condescending when someone ignores us or can't understand what we're talking about, so that seems much more reasonable?? that use precedes the 1847 thing alejandro mentions btw

and now that ive already digged this linguistic hole for myself I also have to add that the translation in the subtitles is pretty fucking wild at times. i don't know any russian or arabic so i can't really speak on those fronts but in spanish????? oh boy

they literally translated "mueve el culo, cabrón" as "this way" ?????? which not only is NOT what that means but also fails so horribly at conveying tone. very sad. also none of the gringo characters ever pronounced Si Nombre right. not even soap. I have no words for my disappointment (still proud of him for the rest of his Spanish pronunciation, it's so good 🥺🥺)

anyway im sorry for this tangent i just had to. i tried not to say anything but if im not annoying 24/7 i'll explode. you don't want me to explode, do you?? then you'll have to forgive me for this 😔

oh that makes sense, i never heard that before 🤔 interesting!

i only know like three words of spanish but i did catch that one lmao. sucks that it might be that bad for other parts too, like obviously someone wrote that, why not include the right translation.. different teams, ig, but the script is Right There so

and no i get it, if they did that with dutch i'd be a little annoyed too!!

#anon #asks

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steddieassheg0es · 2 years ago

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Score One Harrington

“You seriously brought that here?”

Steve isn’t sure if he should be mad or embarrassed, or some combo of the two as he stares blankly at the board in front of him with the familiar “You Rule/You Suck” written on it. There’s still a tally of 0 to 6. And it is currently resting on the break room table at Family Video.

“Of course I did. Gotta keep that ego of yours in check, your highness.” Robin laughs. “Besides, how else am I supposed to entertain myself on a slow day? Watching you strike out is the highlight of my shift. Or was, anyway. I haven’t seen you shoot your shot since Scoops.”

“Yeah, well, forgive me if spider monsters and getting drugged by Russians doesn’t put me in the mood.”

“Aw Stevie, where’s your sense of adventure?”

Steve hold back a groan as he hears the voice of the real reason he hasn’t even thought of flirting with anyone in a while now. Normally he’s thrilled when Eddie drops in to hang out with them at work, but he’d love to keep the humiliation of this to just Robin. The fact that he’s got his hair tied back and is wearing a fucking crop top does not help the situation.

“I know you can read, Munson. That sign on the door is there for a reason. Last I checked you’re not an employee.”

“Like a sign has ever stopped me before. Speaking of signs, what’s with that thing, who sucks?”

Robin lights up with vicious glee and he knows all hope that she’ll spare him is lost.

“Steve-o. Turns out the rumors are so not true. Whoever said he was charming was delusional. I’ve been keeping tally of his epic inability to score.”

Eddie’s face scrunches up adorably with confusion. “Steve can’t get a girl?”

“Nope, you should see him in action. It’s painful.”

—

Eddie finds that incredibly hard to believe. He’s so undeniably charmed by Steve without the man even trying, he can’t imagine being able to resist if he were.

Still, a selfish part of him is glad that Steve’s having no luck with the ladies. Which is dumb. Single or not Eddie knows he doesn’t stand a chance.

But hey a guy can dream.

“Aww Stevie, you’ve lost your touch? That’s a damn shame.”

“Shove it, Munson. That board is woefully out dated. I haven’t struck out in a while now.”

Robin snickers. “Only because you haven’t tried.”

Eddie doesn’t think Robin sees just how uncomfortable Steve is with the continued assault on his lack of a love life. He feels bad for his earlier joy. Steve deserves to be wanted, to be loved. By someone he wants back. Eddie’s pretty sure he’s a huge romantic even if he wouldn’t admit it. Steve’s the kind of guy who has so much love to give, it must be hard to have no where to put it.

“I’m sure you just need some practice to get your groove back, man, don’t sweat it.”

—

Steve thinks something in his brain must have short circuited. It’s the only explanation for why he does what he does next.

Which is to lean forward into Eddie’s space. He gently tucks one of the curls that has escaped his bun behind his ear. He lets his fingers trail down Eddie’s cheek as he pulls away.

Eddie has turned a lovely shade of pink, and stand frozen in place. Steve pushes forward with his stupidity.

“You must not have any trouble, hm? Pretty doe eyes. Those dimples. Bet you can get anyone you want.”

He can see Robin out of the corner of his eye, staring in shock. And maybe a little bit impressed. There is definitely judgement on her face. Whatever game he thinks he’s playing, she sees right through him. He chooses to ignore her for the time being.

Eddie lets out a shuddering breath. He’s blushing to the tips of his ears and seems to be at a loss for words. His eyes flick over to Robin, and then suddenly he’s flinching away from Steve.

“Hah. Right, yeah point made. You still got it. Congrats. I’ll uh…I’ll see you guys later.”

He barely gets the words out before he flees, and Steve is left crushed. And wondering how he can possibly salvage their friendship after he just made Eddie so clearly very uncomfortable.

—

Shit. He’s such an idiot. For a moment he let himself get caught up. To fall prey to incredible force that is Steve Harrington flirting. The second Steve crowded in to his space, the conversation they had just been having vanished from his mind.

When he saw the look on Robin’s face, reality set in.

Of course he wasn’t actually flirting with Eddie. He was making a point. Showing off his charm, still fully intact. Eddie feels the shame and embarrassment clogging his throat. He knows Steve didn’t mean anything by it, he’s too good to intentionally fuck with Eddie this way if he knew, but it doesn’t stop him from dying inside.

He’s back in his van before he even realizes he’s moved, fighting back the urge to vomit. How the fuck is he ever going to face him again? Explain why the hell he cut and run like that? If Steve doesn’t figure it out, he knows Robin certainly has. He’s pretty sure she’s had her suspicions about his feelings for Steve for a while now, no way she has any doubts after that horrible scene.

He’s so completely fucked. The best he can hope for now is that Steve will be a bit distant but at least stay his friend.

Shit.

—

“Well that was certainly…interesting.” Robbin wanders over to the break room table and puts a tally down under “You Rule” with a dramatic flourish. “I mean he did run away, but I think you still earned a point. So Steve, now what?”

“What are you talking about? He ran away. Robbie he couldn’t get out of here fast enough. Jesus, I freaked him out. What the fuck was I thinking?” His voice is shrill with panic.

“Woah there. Calm down, dingus. Did you not see the look on his face before he took off? I thought his face was going to actually catch on fire he was so red, oh my god. As hilarious as the two of you being total idiots is, it’s also getting kind of sad at this point.”

Steve is pacing, hands in his hair. He’s not really absorbing anything Robin is saying to him, too busy freaking out. Seriously, what was he thinking? His pride was wounded in front of his crush so he decides to…flirt with him to prove a point?! There’s no way Eddie doesn’t know now. How can he explain that he didn’t mean it?

Well he did mean it, but not really, he hadn’t intended to ever let this slip. He was fine with just being friends, had no delusions of Eddie feeling the same. No matter how much Robin insisted the other man was definitely gay. Didn’t mean he liked Steve. Hell Steve was shocked they were even friends, he knew Eddie could do so much better than him.

“Steven!”

He gets the feeling she’s been trying to get his attention for a while now. “I hate when you call me that.”

“At least it caught your attention. You seriously need to chill out. Listen, I know I’ll never get it through your thick skull that Eddie likes you-“

“He doesn’t!”

“We’ve been over this. I’ve literally never seen him smile at anyone the way he smiles at you…” He opens his mouth to interject again, but she quickly and loudly keeps talking. “BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW. The point is, heart eyes or no, Eddie’s not going to stop being friends with you for being bi, Steve. That’s not who he is.”

Steve stops his pacing, collapsing into a heap on the floor leaning against the wall. His head in his hands, he lets out a deep sigh. Tries desperately to hold back the tears he can feel burning behind his eyelids.

“I know that. I’m not afraid he’s gonna be a homophobe. Or biphobe. But being accepting of a guy who likes girls and guys, and being accepting of a guy liking you are two different things. Rob, if my crush on you hadn’t been 90% based on us just being awesome together and 10% me desperately wanting to be with someone who actually liked me as a person…If I hadn’t gotten over it once I realized it wasn’t real, you really think you could have stayed my friend? Knowing I was pining after you?”

Robin looks uncomfortable at the thought and he knows he’s right. “I mean that’s different. I’m not into guys, any guy being into me is weird and uncomfortable. And I’m not Eddie. I love you, but I don’t think the sun shines out of your ass. Steve, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you could do to fuck things up with Eddie. At least not in a way that’s totally beyond repair.””

“I don’t know Robin.”

“Well here’s an idea, dingus. Go and talk to him. Don’t let this fester. It’s a ghost town in here anyway, I’ll cover for you. Don’t argue with me! Just go.”

And with that he’s shoved out of the break room.

—

Eddie makes it home before he breaks down. He’s thankful that Uncle Wayne is at work, because the second he’s through the door he’s leaning back against it sobbing.

What a fucking mess. He got a glimpse of the thing he wanted more than anything, and for a second he thought his heart was going to burst right out of his chest. And then reality set in and not only was the rug ripped out from under him and his little fantasy, but now he’s ruined the best thing in his life.

Even if Steve keeps being his friend, he knows things will be different. He’s been foolish, taking advantage of Steve’s obliviousness too much. There’s no way he can keep up with calling him things like “sweetheart” and “pretty boy”. The touches to his lower back, his wrist, his hair. Probably won’t be able to hug at all anymore, but certainly not those long lingering ones that make him feel like he’s home.

He’s pathetic enough that he’ll take what he can get. But he knows watching Steve pull away with destroy him.

Eddie’s not sure how long he stays like that. Long enough that he runs out of tears and just sits there feeling hollow. He nearly jumps out of his skin when there’s a knock at the door against his back.

“Eddie? Your van’s outside, I know you’re in there. Can we talk?”

Fuck.

He turns and stares at the doorknob. He’s not ready for this yet. He thought he had time to prepare himself to deal with the fall out. But there’s nothing he can do now. He’s not going to ignore Steve. He can’t. So he takes a deep breath and opens the door.

“Hey, can I…can I come in?”

He shifts to the side to let Steve in. He stares outside for a few beats, delaying the inevitable, then closes the door and turns to face this. Eddie’s surprised to see how torn up Steve looks. Probably feels bad for flirting now that he knows. So he tries to salvage this as much as he can by taking the lead.

“Look, Steve, it’s fine. We’re good, yeah? I’m not stupid I don’t expect anything. I just want to keep being friends.”

Steve’s face morphs into one of confusion. “What do you mean you don’t expect anything?”

Eddie sighs and looks down at his feet, unable to handle looking into those eyes when he says this. “Come on, I know you figured out I’m into you, ok? And I know you weren’t actually hitting on me. I know you don’t feel that way about me and I never expected you to. I wasn’t ever going to say anything. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I get it if I have now and I’m sorry. I just really hope we can stay friends.”

When the silence carries on for too long, he finally dares to look up. Steve is staring at him with wide eyes, looking completely shocked. Shit. Did he not know? Did Eddie just fuck things up by trying to fix them?

“You…What? You’re into me?”

Now it’s Eddies turn to be speechless. Steve’s face shifts from shock to one that Eddie can’t really decipher and he has no idea what to do now.

Eddie flinches when Steve laughs. “Shit…Robin’s never gonna let me live this down.” Then Steve’s tilting his head like a puppy. “Wait, then why did you run away?”

“…What?”

“I thought you left because I made you uncomfortable. If you weren’t, like, disgusted by me why’d you go?”

Eddie has no idea what’s happening. He feels like he’s trying to read a book but some of the pages have been torn out so he’s left trying to catch up. But the utter confusion is better than devastation at least.

“Why would I be disgusted by you?”

“Because I’m into you. I flirted with you. It wasn’t very subtle. I figured I freaked you out because you caught on to my embarrassingly huge crush on you. But if that’s not it why’d you bolt out of there?”

“I…what? Am I fucking high?”

Steve giggles and in a distant part of his brain he can’t help but think how cute it is. The rest of him is stuck on embarrassingly huge crush.

“I don’t think so. Eddie, you still haven’t answered me. Why’d you leave? Why didn’t you tell me you felt the same way?”

“I didn’t think you were serious! Jesus, in what world does Steve Harrington flirt with Eddie the freak Munson and mean it?”

Steve frowns. “Don’t call yourself that, you’re not a freak.”

“Oh my god, that is so not the point right now Steve. You have a crush on me? Since fucking when?”

The frown gives way to a shy smile. Suddenly Steve is looking at him all soft and fond, and it completely destroys his ability to think. The emotional whiplash is overwhelming.

“I think since you pinned me to the wall with a broken bottle to my throat. Confused the shit out of me, that’s for sure. I didn’t really realize it until I saw you surrounded by the demobats bleeding out on the ground. I thought you were gonna die, man. What a shitty moment to figure out you’re in love with someone, right when you’re about to lose them. I was a fucking wreck. The happiest moment of my life was when you opened your eyes in the hospital.”

Eddie remembers that moment. He was on some good shit, feeling floaty and not even sure he’d actually made it out or if he was hallucinating. But he opened his eyes and there was Steve. Holding on to his hand with tear streaked cheeks, looking at him like he’d performed a miracle by just breathing. Which to be fair, it was close to miraculous that he’d survived. It wasn’t until later he found out Steve had carried him out, and he’d refused any kind of medical care for himself until Eddie woke up. Even then he was practically dragged out by some nurses.

He’d been in awe of his bravery then. He is again now, watching Steve hand him his heart on a silver platter.

—

It’s dawning on Steve that Eddie only said he was ‘into’ him. Maybe spilling his guts and saying he’s in love with him was too much. Just as he’s starting to fully work himself into a panic, a pair of lips touch his own and the chaos in his brain stops.

It’s a painfully sweet kiss, Eddie’s hands so gentle as they trail up his jaw, fingers curling against his neck. He’s never been touched like this. Like he’s something precious. It’s immediately addictive.

Eddie hums around a smile as he pulls back, those huge brown eyes gone soft like melted chocolate. His thumbs stroke Steve’s cheeks.

“I love you. God you have no idea.”

“I love you, too.”

Eddie gives him what Robin calls his ‘Steve smile’. It lights up his whole face, dimples on full display, and it makes Steve’s heart flutter every time. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, Eddie. You have no idea. I’d have hit on you a lot sooner if I thought I had a chance. Actually…that’s why I haven’t struck out since Scoops. I mean first the whole chaos of Starcourt happened, but then I met you and I just didn’t see the point in trying. I knew it would never work with someone else until I got over you.”

Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “Shit, Stevie. I thought you were straight. If I’d known you liked guys I’d have taken a shot at you ages ago.”

“Yeah, I thought so too…you were kind of my bi awakening. I mean looking back I’ve definitely been attracted to guys before, but never anyone I was really interested in beyond that. So I just brushed it off as like, platonically acknowledging that other guys can be hot. Aesthetic appreciation or whatever. What I felt about you was a lot harder to ignore. Hell everything about you is impossible to ignore.”

They’re both all grins, trading confessions back and forth for awhile and just basking in being able to finally say all of this out loud. Eventually the emotions get to be too much, and he just has to touch.

He’s allowed to do that now, too. So he leans in to capture Eddie’s smiling lips.

—

Steve turns out to be right. Robin does not let either of them live it down. Neither does the rest of the party. But no amount of teasing can ruin their joy.

They get their revenge by being disgustingly affectionate all the time, so they call it a win.

#steddie fic #steddie #stranger things fic #eddie munson #Steve Harrington #mutual pining #idiots in love #robin buckley #robin ships it #gay eddie munson #bisexual steve harrington #my writing #my fic #eddie munson lives rent free in my head #eddie munson lives

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omiscurls · 3 years ago

Note

I don't know if requests are open or not cuz I am new to this.... If they are closed please ignore this if not consider lending some of yyour creative juice to this idea

Itto, zhongli, childe and diluc (any of them or other characters of your choice) hurts there s/o physically unintentionally and now they are afraid to be near them. (please forgive me for my poor English as its not my first language) also I recently found your page and you are like really really cool! Like I have cried while reading so many of your works

fragile

hi! i closed requests, since my final year started and i have loads of exams to prepare to, and lots of assignments, but I figured i might make exceptions for some asks because i have some time on my hands for the next few days, so here it goes!

plot: character unintentionally hurts the reader

characters: childe, diluc (sorry i have no idea how to write itto yet)

warnings: curses, unintentional harm caused, absolutely NO toxic actions so don’t worry, angst to fluff, hurt/comfort

the sayings that childe uses at the end of his part are both Slavic, although one is Russian and the other is polish. I won’t brag with my rusty Russian (havent studied it since middle school), but it translates precisely to “we’re gonna live, we’re not gonna die” and the polish one is „do wesela się zagoi” and it’s also precisely “it’s gonna get fine [implied: the wound is gonna heal] before the wedding”

diluc

when one is put out of the line of duty abruptly, like diluc when he left the knights, and doesn’t train on a daily basis, even if he does engage in fights, one can easily forget the kind of strength he holds.

even if he was called the youngest, most talented calvary captain the order had, even if mondstadt whispers the name of the darknight hero with admiration, he still forgets that that person they talk about and him, diluc of the mondstadt winery, are one and the same, and therefore their strength is one and the same.

“god, i can’t believe we’re still going over this. you wanted me here by 7 and unscratched, i came home three hours later and, well, not unscratched. i said i was sorry. i said i was going to be more mindful of how i handle myself. can we please, please end the topic here?” he pleaded, voice coated with a layer of sarcasm that he only uses when tired and annoyed. you, knowing he’s tired and annoyed, grew even more irritated with how little thought he put in the situation the two of you are currently in.

“no, we can’t, because clearly you’re still not getting my point!” you raise your voice a little in frustration. it’s like he suddenly turned into a child who’s incapable of understanding why his parents are grounding him, and mistaking you for the bad guy here, even though you were just quite simply worried.

“fine then, what’s your point, enlighten me” he scoffed, making your heart ache slightly. he must’ve had a nasty day, you were sure of that, but you weren’t going to let him get all that out on you.

“my point is i was worried! you’re out late at night, every night, almost, and return all bloody and aching and unwilling to talk with me, tell me, how am i supposed to just go along with that? how do you expect me to not be worried?”

“oh for fucks sake, you treat me like im five or something” diluc groaned, eyes set on the ceiling, but upon being met with complete silence, he looked at you.

you were standing there, in the middle of his, or more specifically, your shared bedroom, arms crossed at chest level, your gaze seemingly set on him, but practically piercing through his figure and looking into complete nothingness while tears gathered and threatened to spill at the brim of your eyes.

fuck, he thought, he made you cry. for a brief second he wondered if it were his actions or his words that hurt you more, but quickly decided that the whole situation was just handled really shitty.

what was he supposed to say to you, that he wouldn’t do it again? he knew damn well it would be a lie. he could come clean about his little nightly ventures, but some part of him, some deeply set teenager-self that never grew up and lived in the dark corners of his heart begged him not to, screamed at him for even considering it an option.

right as he was about to apologize, you spoke.

a quiet “fine” was the only word that broke the silence before you proceeded to walk out the room.

in order to do that, you’d need to walk past him and through the door, and while you were heading there, his mind raced in a lot of different directions, but most importantly, toward the fact that he desperately didn’t want you to leave without him apologizing first.

and so he grabbed your wrist. you just realized how fast you were walking, by how strongly he pulled you back with just his grip. you sighed.

it’s not like you were walking out on him, or like you were mad, you just wanted to clear your head for a little, so you wouldn’t say something you’d regret later.

“either you talk to me, or im going for a walk” you stated, but he stayed silent. he battled himself, wanting to speak up, but didn’t have a version of events to tell you ready just yet.

you sighed yet again, attempting to rip your hand out of his embrace, but failing, being met with his grip on you tightening to an uncomfortable level.

“diluc-“

“i’m going to explain”

“fuck, diluc, you’re hurting me” you scolded, still trying to get your arm away. he looked at your expression, your lips pressed tightly in slight pain, and he let go immediately, taking a step back.

“i’m sorry” he tried explaining as soon as he could “i’m very, very sorry” his voice turned desperate really fast, and you looked up at him in surprise. sure, you did tell him his grip hurt, but it wasn’t as severe as he was clearly imagining it to be, and you quickly realized you may have just triggered some subconscious fear of his. “I didn’t mean to do that, i just- well, i-“ he stumbled over his words, growing mad at himself for not being able to form a sentence.

“it’s fine, calm down first” you said rather bluntly, still massaging your wrist a little, which didn’t go unnoticed, and still wearing an annoyed look on your face, but having clear intentions. “it’s not a big deal.”

“no, no, it is, but i just… i didn’t want you to go because i really suck at apologizing later, and it never turns out the way i want it to, and i hate leaving things open like this, and i-“ he ran out of breath “i do want to explain tonight to you, but i don’t know if i can, and i need time to think, and-“

“hey” you approached him slowly, switching your irritated grimace with a slight smile. “I’m not nearly as hurt or as mad as you think i am. you’re just quite strong and i wanted you to know your grip kinda hurt. and im not angry overall, im worried, as i said earlier.”

diluc looked down at his hands guiltily, and after a while, grabbed your wrist ever so slightly and softly to see if there wasn’t any mark left, and to his surprise, and more importantly, relief, there wasnt. he laced his fingers with yours carefully before looking up at you and taking a breath.

“forgive me” he pleaded “I have lost my cool, but it won’t happen again”

you nodded, assuring him you knew he meant no harm. just as you were about to remind him the reason for your fight again, he began speaking.

“come sit with me. there’s a huge story i need to tell you.”

the little teenager in him was still screaming, but hopefully you could ease his anger just as you eased the adult diluc’s pain every single day. at least so he hoped.

childe

ever since tartaglia and you became more serious, he had been skillfully separating his work life from his private matters completely.

if you hadn’t known him before, you probably wouldn’t have even guessed he was part of the fatui, let alone a high-ranked diplomat.

you grew annoyed at his antics, but never uttered a word, because you understood the reasoning behind it, he just didn’t want to put you in harms way, it was actually kinda sweet.

nevertheless, you were glowing with pride when he had to return to the site of his subordinates’ training, and decided to take you along

“see guys, this is precisely what i was telling you about earlier.” he said, halting the sparring exercise the young fatui agents were in the middle of, walking up to a practicing pair, wanting to show something on their example. “if you look too much on what you’re doing, on your hands, your feetwork, whatever, you’re eventually gonna get caught up in checking your form and miss the opponent making a move on you. and while form is important, it really is, it’s nearly as important, as, well, keeping all your teeth, or your life, for that matter.” he said half-jokingly, patting the shoulder of the boy he was standing in front of, now explaining something to him only.

he looked endearing while he was teaching, you thought. being young himself, he was still playful, and at times immature, when he was with you, but now he had sort of a mentour mask on him. it got to you that you may have even disregarded his experience - he was so positive and enthusiastic all the time that it was easy to forget that he was like a deadly machine when needed to, and that a lot of unpleasant experiences leaded to him being that way.

you shook the uncomfortable thought, saving it for later, now focusing only on taking in the sight of your boyfriend being all in his zone.

“come on guys, i’ll walk you through this step by step, i just need a volunteer to work with me. i don’t bite, promise” he laughed, but the audience stayed in place. not like they didn’t like him or anything, but you noticed they were really scared of sparring him. who wouldn’t though, humans have survival instincts after all.

“aight” you said, jumping off your spot “i’ll spar with you”

tartaglia looked over at you in an instant, eyes growing a bit worried.

“you sure?” he asked nonchalantly, but you sensed the displeased undertone in his voice.

“positive” you responded “if i do it, it’ll show everybody it’s not as scary as it seems, considering i have little to no training compared to you all” you looked at the students with a bright smile. they watched your every moved as you got ready and set to fight, and you couldn’t quite tell if it was admiration they were looking with, or just pure shock.

“do try to keep up” tartaglia teased, getting into position.

you parred all of his attacks for the most part, not attacking, because you knew it’d end badly, but you stood your ground quite well. you could even sense childe being sort of impressed. he was talking a lot, considering it was all a scene to teach something to the young agents, and you couldn’t focus on your movements. you could tell he was cutting you a lot of slack, his punches stopped milimeters away from your skin, to then barely even touch you, and you grew irritated of that. as stupid as it was, you felt insulted.

so just as you figured he was about to finish, you kicked him by surprise with all you had in you, completely throwing him off track, causing him to instinctively pin you down, as he would normally to ensure his safety. he jokingly counted to three, like they do in sparring matches, and lent you a hand to raise you back up before continuing with his speech. you walked over to the place you were sitting previously, a sharp paing in your back forcing you to lean forward and limp a little.

the training lasted another hour or two, you couldn’t tell because of how focused you were on the pain in your back. the students left the site in quite a hurry, partly because it was finally dinner time, and physical training does make one hungry, and tartaglia walked back to you.

“man, these guys have so much left to learn, i mean, compared to my group when i was still in training, or even compared to my squad, they kinda suck” he laughed “but i guess i’ll make it work, i’ve seen worse groups going into the line of duty before”

he was talking while packing his bag, not glancing at you until he was ready.

“shall we?” he offered you a hand “sorry this interrupted our day together, but, tell you what, how about i say dinner’s on me and we can go eat it at that one terrace over the harbor, where you like? the sun’s beginning to set, it’ll look quite lovely there? and then we can do anything you want after we get home”

he smiled so warmly you felt it deep in your heart, leaning forward to press a kiss to the tip of your nose.

“well, get up, or we’ll miss the moment” he urged you, and you did try to jump off your spot, but fell forward, taken by surprise by yet another shot of pain, a string of curse words leaving your mouth.” what’s the matter?” he immediately asked. “are you hurt?”

“no, i’m not, i’m fine, it’s just-”

“you don’t look fine to me” he interrupted quickly, his hand moving from your embrace to the place of your injury, pressing down on it ever so slightly to see your reaction. you hissed in pain. “you’re far from fine! why didn’t you tell me earlier something was wrong?”

“well i didn’t want to seem weak in front of all these people, and well... you” you sighed, feeling even more pathetic as he raised an eyebrow at you, like you were a little kid and he was about to give you a lecture. you decided then and there you much preferred the immature childe from the mentour-like childe. “it’s just, you were already treating me like i was made out of glass there, so i wanted you to actually consider me an even partner, it would be so dumb to prove you right now by being hurt!”

he almost scoffed.

“prove me right? you’re not proving me anything right now! the only thing you’re proving is that what you did was hella dumb, i’ll give you that!” he began lecturing, but then stopped himself. he moved his hands to cup your face, the look he gave you softening slowly, from “you’re grounded” level to “you’re so lucky i love you” level.

“listen. the only reason for why i was, to quote, treating you like you were made out of glass, is that, a, there’s no need to beat the shit out of each other in class, and b, to me, you are, in fact, made out of glass whether you like it or not! and it’s not about me considering you weak or strong, because you are strong, and i do see that, but because i love you, more than anything in the world, life itself, even, and i’d hate myself if anything happened to you because of me. which is kinda what i’m feeling now” he gazed away from you, biting the inside of his cheek, clearly searching for the right words to say precisely what he was thinking.

“but i wanted you to treat me like you’d treat anyone else, i wanted to get hurt”

“well then that’s just plain dumb” he blurted out instantly. “i mean- doesn’t matter what you wanted, there was no need for me to act on instinct like that. i could’ve easily just blocked your kick if i had thought a little more, but i didn’t. that’s on me, and i’m sorry.” he looked back at you, with guilt practically eating him alive. he sighed. “i’m really sorry. tell me, where does it hurt exactly, here?” he pressed his fingers against the lower part of your back again, and you winced, but shook your head.

“a little lower”

“here?” he said after shifting the possition of his fingers, earning a frantic nod from you. “may i?” he asked, lifting the material of your shirt a bit, and after you nodded again, looked over you to examine the kind of bruise that was definitely forming.

“well, you’re just bruised, badly, but still, looks like nothing’s broken or anything like that. i have an ointment at home that’ll make this go away in no time.”

he looked back at you, visibly a little more relieved, smiling softly.

“i’m really sorry i hurt you” he said quietly, suddenly seeming so small.

“it’s nothing, really, i did kinda brought this on myself” you giggled, but obviously he didn’t find it funny.

“i’ll make it up to you, i promise, and it won’t ever happen again” he was so caught up in his own guilt-tripping thinking process that he probably didn’t even register you were finding this situation okay.

you leaned forward to press a kiss on his cheek, and rested your head on his shoulder.

“i know you’d never even lay a finger on me on purpose. i’m aware. accidents happen, and it’s completely fine, i’m gonna live.”

he let out another sigh, before nodding in agreement and lifting your chin so you’d look him in the eye again.

“i truly wouldn’t.” he whispered with such desperation, like he was begging you to understand, even though you already did.

“alright” he murmured after some time “we should get going”

and with that, he lifted you up and proceeded to walk down to the harbour, carrying you in his arms.

“i can stand on my own, you know” you whined “and besides, you’re pressing the bruise”

he chuckled, whispering something to himself, in a language you didn’t quite understand.

“what does that even mean?” you giggled, getting comfortable in his embrace.

“it’s a saying from my homeland, and to translate precisely, it means we’re gonna live, we won’t die. it’s a way of saying that everything is going to be okay. we do also say something like - it’s gonna get better before the wedding.”

“what wedding?”

“oh, it’s just a saying”

“but whose wedding, mine?”

“oh for heavens sake, do you know the saying curiousity killed the cat?”

you laughed.

“i do”

“then zip it.”

#fluff #childe angst #diluc angst #angst #angst to fluff #angst to comfort #hurt comfort #genshin x reader #genshin diluc #genshin childe #childe x reader #diluc x reader #childe fluff #diluc fluff

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folkwhorerain · 3 years ago

Text

Jealousy, Jealousy (Wanda Maximoff x fem reader)

pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem reader

Summary: reader is a shy and insecure Avenger whit a crush on Wanda, but she never made the first move on the sokovian. What if, during a party, finally something happens between the two of them?

Warnings: angst, reader being insecure, language (I think?), alcohol and sexual tension (feel free to tell me if I should add more).

English is not my first language, so bare with my grammar please, lol. This is my first fanfiction ever so forgive me if it's not anything special or it is lame.

I got inspired by "Jealousy, Jealousy" by Olivia Rodrigo, so I suggest you listen to it while reading, if you want.♥️

You hated them. You hated Tony's parties.

Don't get me wrong, you enjoyed the Avengers company, but parties were definitely not your thing. You always felt... out of place.

You were fine with chatting with the team during this day when you spent some time together, but when parties where that huge like tonight's one, all you wanted to do was staying in your room.

The fact is that you can't help but compare yourself to the others. You never felt enough and you were intimated by Tony's friends and the other heroes. You were just... You. No one special with no cool superpowers, you were good at hand to hand combat and you were really smart, but that was it; you always thought that was lame. Like that wasn't enough, you were the newest recruit in the team. The Avengers all welcomed you well and you grew attached to all of them, especially Natasha, but still, you didn't feel like that was enough for you to be considered "the cool Avenger", and you were still private about your feelings and emotions; when something was wrong the only answer that you had when they asked you what bothered you was "it's nothing". But it wasn't nothing. You felt an outsider in the team, you felt like you weren't enough for them and the worst part is that you knew it was all in your head, but you couldn't help it.

The first person that always comes to your mind when you think of someone cool is Wanda. Her powers affascinates you and you loved her determination. You can't say you two are close, but she always treated you well and she respected your boundaries, that's why now you have a crush on her and that's part of the reason you didn't want to go to the party. Seeing her well dressed while smiling to people who weren't you and while Vision was trying to get her attention would only make it worse.

You considered staying in your room while scrolling your social media, not having any strength to get up and get ready, especially when you were still in your bathrobe and your thoughts were only about a certain witch. However you knew Natasha would've dragged you out of the room if you wouldn't come so, after a few curses and annoyed groans, you threw your phone on the pillow and started to get dressed.

You didn't want to get the attention to you, people would start a conversation and tonight you weren't into it at all, so you opted for a green skirt and a black, cropped sweater and a little bit of makeup. Nothing more.

I'm already so sick of this bullshit, you thought to yourself, then you took a deep breath and went downstairs.

–

As you expected, the biggest room of the Stark Tower was filled with people you didn't know, but you were sure they were mostly Tony's friends.

They were all so confident with their drinks in hands, perfect combed hair and fancy dresses worth millions of dollars.

You weren't nothing like these people: you didn't get why people would spend millions for pieces of cloth. It was a waste of money, but how you wished you saw it differently, maybe you would be one of these apparently happy people with a lot of friends, and not the weirdo of the group with a lack of confidence so evident you couldn't even enjoy a relaxing event.

A few tears tried to escape your eyes, but you wouldn't let them. Steve was watching you and, from the look he was giving you, he already sensed something was off with you; so you did what was best and faked a smile, which he returned gladly before he went back to his conversation with Bucky.

You felt like a creep standing in the corner of the room doing nothing, so you started looking around searching for Nat. After a few second you saw her talking, or better, flirting with Bruce at the bar while she had a Martini on her hand.

You frowned sympathetically. Cute. He really likes her a lot, you thought seeing Bruce embarrassed and intimidated by the widow.

Suddenly a waiter asked you if you wanted a glass of wine and you accepted, maybe a little alcohol would help you get through this more easily. You took a sip and enjoyed the feeling of the wine in your throat.

“This is ridiculous.” you whispered.

“What is ridiculous?” you heard someone ask you.

You turned to see who it was and that's when you saw her: Wanda was smiling at you with a curious expression on her face.

You blinked a few times, amazed by the girl in front of you: she was wearing a short, black dress, and her ginger hair was loose on her shoulders. She decided to put on a little bit of makeup and a red lipstick. Not like her typical style, but you liked her anyway. She was always so beautiful.

You shook your head, realizing she was waiting for an answer. "Uhm, parties, I guess.” She nodded. “I mean, Tony's events are always too exaggerated.” you added before biting your lips, clearly embarrassed.

“I know how you feel.” Wanda agreed. “I always have to try so hard to fit in during things like these.” She chuckled while looking around the room.

“Well, at least you're trying.” You said before giving her a dry laugh, looking down at your glass.

The ginger tilted her head sympathetically. “Well, maybe that's the problem.”

You frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean... trying too hard is the problem.” She explained. “If you feel like you have to try so hard it becomes unbearable, maybe that means that the thing you're doing is not good for you.” She added before biting the inside of her cheek.

You simply hummed in agreement and took another sip of wine, too intimated by her beauty.

Don't think something awkward. She can read minds. Don't think how beautiful she is- shit. Stop thinking.

“If you'll excuse me, Vision is looking for me.” She said with a smirk on her face before leaving you alone again.

You watched her walk away, analizing her every move. God, how you wanted her to be yours. She was not, of course. Why would she be with someone like you? She could have Vision and every other man in this room, so why would she choose a girl like you? Speaking of the devil, Vision approached her with a few guys and she gave him her brightest smile.

You watched all the interaction, still in the corner of the room.

He was so confident with his perfect posture and his good manners. He would be the best for her. He's the kind of man, or synthezoid, or whatever, that could always reassure her and find the perfect words to make her feel better. He would try and cheer her up and find the better jokes to tell, just like he's probably doing right now. In fact the sokovian was laughing at something he said and her beautiful laugh echoed through the room.

You felt jealousy rush through your veins.

“I wanna be him so bad!”

All the people in the room turned to look at you with puzzled expression.

Your eyes went wide when you realized you practically yelled what you wanted was just a thought so, without a second thought, you rushed out of the party and went straight to your room.

You slammed the door and let the tears escape. You took off your make up and headed straight to bed, overthinking what just happened, screaming in your pillow.

I always ruin everything!

You didn't expect you would've said that out loud and right now you didn't expect to hear someone to knock on your door. You didn't answer, though, you kept your head buried in the pillow. It was probably Natasha who wanted to talk about what happened and you definitely weren't going to say a word.

The door opened anyway and you groaned in annoyance.

“Listen, Nat-” You started to say but stopped immediately when you saw it wasn't the russian spy, but Wanda.

“Hi.” She greeted you with a shy smile. “May I sit?” She asked pointing the bed.

You composed yourself and nodded shyly. “Yeah.”

Wanda gave you a swift smile and sat next to you, crossing her legs on the bed. Your breath itched when you felt your knees touching. You two have never been this close and the situation was making you nervous, thing that didn't go unnoticed by Wanda considering the fact that you were playing with the ring on your index finger.

You never noticed but Wanda knows you very well. She knows your moves, the way you play with your hands when you're nervous, the way your eyes shine when you talk about your interests or the way you are quieter than usual when you're sad.

The truth is that Wanda liked you very much and she knew you liked her too. She didn't want to tell you 'cause she wanted you to take courage and say it first and, to be fully honest, she was scared. What if your crush was temporary and you would eventually get bored? What if she loses you just like she lost her parents and Pietro? She would never, ever accept it.

“So... Why did you run away?” She asked like it wasn't obvious you just yelled in front of everyone.

“Are you seriously asking, Wanda?” You snapped before you could stop yourself.

She looked at you with sad eyes before looking down at her hands. “Sorry…”

“No, no... Don't apologize.” You whispered. “You have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn't have… God, I'm pathetic.”

You threw your head in your hands and sighed. I'm so sick of myself!

“Why are you sick of yourself?” The sokovian asked you before placing a hand on your knee.

You looked at the hand and then at her.

“Sorry, I shouldn't have read your mind, but sometimes your thoughts are really loud.” she chuckled, starting to rub her thumb on your knee. You were speechless, all this interaction was making you crazy. You craved more of her touch and now, more than ever, you wanted to kiss her. However you pushed those feelings aways and started to open up to avoid thinking about something inappropriate. “I'm just… me. I mean, I'm not special.”

“Why do you think that?” She asked raising an eyebrow, her hand never leaving your skin.

You took a deep breath. “Wanda, come on! Tony's friends are so cool, he's loved by everyone, Natasha is a badass russian spy, you have these amazing superpower. Thor is literally a God, for fuck's sake!”

“You compare yourself to the others too much. It's not healthy, Y/N.” She sweetly stated wiping away a tear from you cheek.

You closed your eyes for a second, enjoying her touch, but then you came back to reality. “I know, but I can't help it. The others seem to be so confident and happy, and all the girls at the party... Fuck, they're so pretty-”

"Beauty is not your lack.” She interrupted you smirking, her hand still on your cheek.

“I- I just wish I was them... I wish I had the courage Vision has.” You admitted, looking down.

“Why him?” The ginger asked placing two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at her in those piercing green eyes.

“Because I'm so jealous he gets all your attentions and I don't just because I'm too insecure.” You said it in a whisper, almost inaudible, but Wanda heard you and you knew judging by the smile on her face.

“You want my attentions?” She asked leaning in.

Her face was so close to yours that it was hard to breathe. You could smell her perfume and that alone was making you want her more. You had the urge to kiss her and touch her and taste her, but right now Wanda was waiting for a response so you simply nodded, not trusting your voice.

“You already have them.” She admitted, making you frown in confusion. “There might be a hundred people in the room, but I would always notice you and only you, Y/n.” You were speechless, partly because of her confession, partly because she was so damn close to your face it made your heart race fast, and before you could realise, she kissed you.

Her lips were so soft against yours and her hands were in the right places. However, after a few moments, you realized you froze and didn't reproached the kiss. Wanda broke the kiss, a disappointed look on her face.

“I'm sorry, I thought you liked me t-”

Before she could finish her sentence, you kissed her. You kissed her with so much confidence it surprised both you and Wanda.

Your right hand was on her neck and the other was on her waist, pulling her close.

You felt her smirk on the kiss and the hand that before was on your knee now was up your thigh.

“God, this skirt was making me crazy the whole night.” She breathed out, making the hand go higher and higher where you needed it the most.

Before you could realize you still had your party outfit on, Wanda started caressing slowly your inner thigh, making you gasp. Hearing the affect she had on you, the ginger bite your lobe before whispering something that made you shiver.

“Let me show you all the attentions I have for you, babygirl.”

alright, that was it. I know it's not good, but I had this idea the other night and I just had to write it.

Feedback is appreciated. <3

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x reader #elizabeth olsen #lizzie olsen #marvel #mcu x reader #tony stark #natasha romanoff #black widow #thor odinson #steve rogers #marvel cinematic universe #comics #wandavision #Vision #paul bettany

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widow-maximov · 3 years ago

Text

Cursed Potion

Pairing: Natasha x Wanda x Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, angst :3

Summary: Even if being an Avenger seems boring, losing focus is easy and things that seem to be easy go very wrong.

Word count: 4.4k

My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

People who are not apart of the Avengers always think this is an entertaining job, but in reality there are missions that are so boring you could sleep walk and still succeed.

Being new is always exciting, missions and how everything works always is fascinating but with time you get assigned to missions that are so simply, a 10 year old could solve it.

For the past couple months, you Steve, Sam, Natasha and Wanda have been claiming all of Hydra's bases, they barely had any security which made it so easy, you didn't understand why five people had to do these missions.

You and Steve could've easily done this mission but for precaution the whole 3 other team members had to tag along. You didn't want the two redheads to come because if anything went wrong and you couldn't save them, you would never forgive yourself.

You always made sure to be in front of them, leading the group around and just knocking anyone out who tried to lay their hands on them, people would think you're just being careful but in reality you are hopelessly crushing on both of them.

They never showed any signs of being interested in you so you kept your feelings at bay but as soon as you were alone, you would smile like an idiot at how cute they were.

For the two redheads, they were pretty obvious that they liked you, they would purposefully touch you whenever they had gotten the chance, hang out with you and even go as far as falling asleep on you but you just thought they were friendly.

Who would actually believe those two beautiful women would take any interest in you. You never were good at showing your feeling so it took a long time for the two redheads to start showing that they feel the same.

Of course with each Hydra base claimed, it didn't go unnoticed by Hydra so they decided to create this substance that Shield did not have it in their system yet.

With no knowledge of their creation, the 5 of you made your way to take over another base but this base was a lot more important, it was holding information to why exactly there were so many bases and how each is useful.

Every base you taken over had 2-3 guys standing which you knocked them out within seconds, sometimes you would even mess around and wait for them to turn around before pretending they could potentially take you down and just knock them out.

You would of course get scold for messing around but it's not like they would hurt you, you could turn steel in seconds and that could only hurt them.

And this mission didn't seem to be any different, so when all of you arrived and made your way inside, taking a look around and again no one was in there.

You had a smug smile on your face as you walked on "As I told yous multiple times, no one is here"

Natasha rolled her eyes at your cockiness, she felt unease when yous had landed and gotten out, she wanted to turn back but she knew the importance of this mission.

You turned to face them when suddenly more than 2 Hydra guards comes out, this time it was around 10, your eyes widen as one of them held a substance.

They smirked and threw it towards the two redheads, you immediately acted, running behind them and letting the bottle hit you, drenching you whole.

For a second you had your eyes closed to expect pain but when you opened them, you looked down and saw nothing, you were just wet from whatever they threw.

You looked at Wanda who was worried as Natasha sped off with Steve to fight off the agents that were charging towards you, you smiled at her and shrugged as you joined the two.

5 against 10 would mean failure but with the experience in fighting and having Wanda's powers, really did out weight the hydra agents skills in battle.

You smirked as you hit one of the guys in the groin, making them groan in pain and discomfort as Steve threw his shield, hitting the agent knocking him out within seconds.

You high fived Steve with a smile and the both of you approached the rest of the teammates, Natasha run up to you as she looked at you worryingly.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a worried tone in her voice.

You looked into her eyes and awkwardly smiled "Yeah I guess"

"Apart from being drenched I feel completely fine" You spoke again and shivered from the coldness.

Wanda saw you shiver as she looked around to see any more guards "Nat take Y/n back to the Quinjet whilst we get the information we need"

You looked over to Wanda "No, we are not leaving you guys"

She walked over to you and Natasha "You will catch a cold, I'm pretty sure you still want to go on missions this week right?"

"Don't worry Y/n, we got each other's back. If something happens we will just call you back here" Sam backed Wanda up.

You looked between all of them as you rubbed your forehead and sighed "Okay fine"

Wanda along with Natasha let out a sigh of relief but you spoke quickly before they could "But as soon as something happens, you call us for back up"

You pointed your finger at them and they nodded, you sighed again as you and Natasha split away from them, you looked over at Natasha who seem to be in deep thought.

"Are you okay?" You asked worried as your brows knitted together.

She looked over at you and there was hesitation, she wanted to nod and say yes but the way you looked at her, it crumbled her walls "No"

You looked around to make sure there was no guards to ruin this conversation "What's wrong?"

She avoided looking into your eyes, when the two of you sat in the Quinjet, she was looking at her feet as you had a blanket around yourself to keep warm.

"I have a bad feeling" She finally spoke up but still looking at anything but you.

You frowned "What do you mean?"

"It's not the mission itself, but what they threw at you"

You sighed as you finally stood up and sat next to her "Maybe it was water?" you tried your best to calm Natasha but it was failing miserably.

"Why would they throw water? It just doesn't make sure. It's nothing we had encountered before, I'm afraid something will happen to you" This time she looked at you, her eyes bore into yours.

"Hey, nothing will happen to me, it probably failed because nothing has happened. If it makes you feel better, when we get back I will go to Bruce and get myself checked"

She nodded as she pressed her lips together, did you wanted to kiss her in this moment? Absolutely, you looked at her lips for a split second to which she noticed, she leaned in and instead of meeting her lips, the panic coursed through your body pulling away so fast causing you to fall from your seat.

You stood up abruptly "I-I- I need drink- Drink something- I need something to drink"

You awkwardly walked away after stuttering as Natasha smiled from ear to ear at how of a mess you are, she for sure was going to tell Wanda and make sure they tease you about it later.

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

It seemed as the mission was successful, when the rest of the team returned to the jet, you were fast to fall asleep on Wanda, she was your favourite to fall asleep on, which made the Russian a little jealous only making the witch tease the former assassin.

You fell asleep so fast and when you landed back, you weren't waking up so Wanda used her powers to move you to somewhere comfortable; Your bed.

After what felt like hours, you woke up in your room still too tired to even worry how you ended in your room. You felt fine, nothing felt wrong.

You walked to the toilet and checked if the substance changed anything about you, but it was nothing. So you finally made your way towards the kitchen, smelling the witches food, you knew it was hers because she always cooked for the team whenever she had the chance.

You walked through to the kitchen and suddenly the two shield agents stood up so abruptly as they rushed towards you, you eyed Wanda who was just as surprised as you.

"You look so nice Y/n!" One of them spoke as their gaze was on you the whole time.

"uh.. Thanks?" You spoke up a little take back.

They just stood there, not saying anything so you spoke up again "Is there something I could help yous with?"

They shook their head "We are here to serve you Y/n"

You raised your brows at their words, as you looked at Wanda who stopped cutting her vegetables as she stared back at you, you slowly walked over to her, hiding behind her as they terrified you.

You whispered to her ear "Are you seeing what I am seeing?"

She slowly nodded and you nodded with confirmation, more to yourself than anyone else "Um"

Wanda crossed her arms "Who put you up to this prank? Was it Bucky because if it is I will-"

They shook their head again, not moving "We only answer to Y/n"

You took a deep breath as you stared at them with shock "Why?"

"We want to serve you until we die Y/n"

"This is so creepy Wands" You whispered to her ear again, she had her eyes narrowed at them which didn't go unnoticed by you.

"I want the two of you to go clean this whole place, from top to bottom" You spoke as you asked confident when in reality you was a little afraid.

They nodded and agreed, speeding off to do what you told them, you looked at Wanda who turned to face you "What the hell was that?"

You shrugged "I- I don't know, I just really hope this is a prank because I hate attention"

Natasha walked into the kitchen as she had her hand pointed behind her "Why did I just walk past two shield agents cleaning walls?"

You covered your face as you groaned "This is not prank"

You placed your head on Wanda as she slightly giggled "Maybe they have a crush on you дорогой (Darling)"

Natasha narrowed her eyes "I hope not"

You looked up at Natasha as you leaned your chin on Wanda's shoulder "I hope not either because that's just awkward"

Natasha's serious face didn't stay too long as she started to giggle, she walked over to you as she pushed in between you and Wanda, taking away the spoon that Wanda used to stir the food and tasted it.

Wanda stared at her with anticipation, Natasha smirked as she pulled a disgusted face giving the spoon back causing Wanda's face to drop "What!"

You rolled your eyes as you pushed Natasha out of the way and took the spoon with the food in your mouth as you beamed with joy at the taste "That's so good Wands"

You looked at Natasha with a giggle "Red over there doesn't know what good food tastes like"

Natasha smiled as she rolled her eyes and playfully shoved you, causing Wanda to scold her for messing around with boiling food around.

"Get your hands of Y/n!" Another voice was raised from the kitchen door.

You stopped and Natasha stopped, with her hands still on you as the three of you looked over to the person, who was Peter "What did you just say?"

Natasha hissed at him, she never liked when someone told her off, especially when she isn't in the wrong and in this case the three of you always messed around.

"I said get your hands of my Y/n" He spoke up again, this time it was more visible that his pupils were dilated.

This time Natasha let go of you as she stood straight with her arms crossed, eyes narrowed "First that's none of your business spidey boy"

"Second, she isn't yours" She still stood in the same place as she spoke directly to him.

"Wanda this will end badly.." You whispered just enough for Wanda to hear.

"Okay, No fighting in the kitchen thank you very much" Wanda spoke, which didn't help at all.

You rolled your eyes at her, as Natasha spoke still in the same place "Fine we will take this outside then"

He stood still at the door "I will win Y/n"

"She isn't a fucking price to win!" Natasha's voice raised at him as he spoke about you like you were some object he could just win over.

She walked to march over to him but you caught her arm, holding her strongly pulling her gaze from him to you, as her expression soften "Natasha please.."

You looked over at Wanda "Wanda please, take Peter out of here I don't want him to end up in a cast or worse"

She nodded with concern in her eyes, as she used her powers to take Peter out of the kitchen and to his room where she locked him. You was left with Natasha who was still a little angry.

"Come on Nat, he is a kid.." You tried to approached this calmly, which caused her to relax a little.

She sighed "I know.. It's the way he said like you were something to win, just angered me. I'm sorry"

You shook your head with a small smile "You don't need to apologise, but you don't need to stick up for me"

She smiled this time "I know but you deserve it котенок (kitten)"

You blushed at how the nickname rolled off her tongue "She is right дорогой (Darling)"

Your eyed darted to Wanda, who came back just in time and your cheeks just turned even redder "Cat got your tongue?" Natasha spoke as Wanda giggled.

No but yous could, you thought to yourself as you cleared your throat and turned to face Wanda "Can we eat now? I'm starving"

Wanda nodded as she pulled 3 dishes out for all of yous and prepared everything as you were quick to sit at a table after taking your meal "She's such a mess around us" Wanda spoke quietly to Natasha as she earned a nod with a smirk.

"We should probably mess with her often, maybe this way she will admit to her feelings for us" Natasha took the food away from Wanda and just waited for her to make herself one.

Wanda tiled her head at the idea "Not a bad idea медовый (honey)"

Things seemed to be okay around the compound, no weird outbursts of random people and you were more than glad, you shrugged it off as a prank and continued on with your day.

As the movie finished, you no longer had snacks so you decided to get up and look for more, of course the two women who trapped you between their bodies winced when you moved, missing your warmth.

When you arrived in the kitchen, there was already a lot of snacks laid out so you shrugged and just took everything with you, as you exited the kitchen, Bucky took not far away with a huge smile across his face.

You slightly jumped at the unknown present "What the fuck Bucky!"

He kept smiling "Y/n/n there you are my love"

You looked at him confused with your brows knitted "My love? What the hell is wrong with you"

He shook his head "Nothing, I just wanted to ask you out on a date"

Your face turned into pure disgust, Bucky was like your own brother there was never any romantic under tone in your relationship, just pure friends "Ew"

Your disgust was heard from where Natasha was with Wanda, they both looked at each other and made their way towards you "What is happening here?"

You looked at Wanda who spoke as you shrugged "Bucky decided he wants a date with me"

Natasha formed a fist as her narrowed eyes came back "Okay what the fuck is happening? Why's suddenly everyone is in love with you?"

Suddenly all of your teammates expect Bruce appeared around you, gifting you things they bought you, like chocolates and flowers and toys.

This started to not only annoy Natasha but Wanda as well, both women wanted to just have you to themselves but suddenly everyone wants it as well, making them incredibly jealous.

Bucky took the first step towards you as he grabbed your hand and placed it on his chest where his heart was "You feel that? It only beats for you"

You snatched your hand away as you took a step back and looked at Natasha and Wanda who seems to only want to throw these weirdly enchanted people.

Natasha really bit her tongue down, she wanted to just punch Bucky straight in the face and it was good that Wanda spoke up first "Okay, something isn't right, they never act like this. We need to get you to Bruce"

You nodded quickly "We do but he might be like this as well"

"I will go check him and come back for you, but for now wait here with Natasha.."

You nodded and quickly moved behind Natasha, out of reach of all of these men and women "This is so creepy.."

"It's weird котенок (kitten), it's like a potion-" She stopped as her eyes widen.

She turned so fast to face you "Its the fucking substance they threw at you!"

You frowned with confusion for a second and then realised "Oh- Wait why the fuck did they make that? That's so useless"

Carol stepped forward "Y/n I want to marry you! I want your babies! I need you inside-"

"No! I do not want to hear it" You raised your voice as you closed your eyes shut at the random outburst.

"I know why.. This is so everyone around you distracts you and eventually you wont be able to move around, leaving you no choice but death"

Your eyes widen at her words "That's horrible!" Natasha nodded to agree with you and turned around to footsteps.

You peaked out to see Steve, stopping right in his tracks as he took off his headphones, staring at the crowd and you hiding behind Natasha.

"What's happening here?" He asked confused.

You sighed with relief "Oh thank god you aren't possessed like them"

Natasha kept still though, she didn't want to risk a trap being set "Would you jump off a building for Y/n?"

"Natasha!" You eyes darted to her when those words fell out of her mouth.

"What? Are you okay Romanoff?" He asked again with confusion in his voice.

"I said, would you jump off a building for Y/n to prove your love for her?"

"No, I might be crazy but not insane"

He crossed his arms "Would you?"

You narrowed your eyes this time "Steve if you don't shut up-"

Suddenly Sam held a knife up to Steve's throat "I will cut you if you speak to my wife like that again"

"Wife? She isn't your wife!" Natasha raised her voice as she took couple steps forwards before you caught her arm again.

You cleared your throat "Um, Sam.. Steve is okay, you can put the knife down.."

Just when you mentioned Sam's name, his head turned towards you and you was met with a smile that you never witness from Sam, he nodded and took a step back where he originally was.

Wanda came back with Bruce as he was wearing a gas mask, causing you to raise your brows at him "Gas mask? really?"

He rolled his eyes "Yes really! I rather not end up being possessed like these poor innocent people"

You scoffed "Excuse me! I happen to think they are very lucky"

Steve chuckled at your defence, which only earned daggers from everyone in the room, expect you and Bruce "Well walk me through what happened and we can start getting something for this"

And that's what you did, you told him everything and how suddenly everyone is in love with you, he explained he needed to test you and your clothes so you had to change, you gave him the clothes and sat in the lab with Natasha and Wanda by your side.

Wanda had her hand on your back, rubbing it softly as Natasha played with your hair, you closed your eyes at the sensation god you love them so much.

"Okay, so from everything that I gathered, they created a love potion which activated after some times. It seems as everyone falls in love with you and this way you are able to find your love" Bruce explained as he stared at his little notepad in his hand.

You raised you brows at him "Why isn't Natasha, Wanda and Steve not effected then?"

Wanda looked over at Natasha, the Russian already figured out that apart, it was because they both were already in love with you, the potion didn't need to work on them, meaning Steve must have a crush on you as well, which is an idea both redheads didn't like.

"I'm not sure but we need to go back to the living room where you told them to stay and just try confession your love to one of them, maybe it will break it"

You nodded and that's what you did, you returned to where they all were, as you walked up to Carol and smiled awkwardly at her, you looked back at Bruce who gave you a nod of encouragement.

Your eyes darted to Wanda and Natasha who didn't like this at all but did their best to not show it, you swallowed dryly as you looked back at Carol and smiled.

"Carol" You said her name and she cut you straight before you could say anything else "Yes sweetheart"

You looked back again as you noticed Wanda roll her eyes, she always called you sweetheart, now she has to find another nickname to call you because Carol ruined it.

You looked back at Carol "I am in love with you?"

With the way it came out of your mouth, it sounded more of a question and as soon as it did, you looked around, no one moved, they were still as a pole.

You looked at Bruce who tried to figure out how to undo this "Okay.. uh, try everyone maybe you just need to find them?"

You nodded and gulped as you went around to each person, basically forced to admit your 'love' to them and nothing worked, that's when Steve came back.

"Still no luck?" He asked as he stood next to Bruce.

You groaned "No! I hate this, I just want to watch Finding Nemo but I have to deal with this"

You stopped talking as you quickly turned to face Steve and looked at him with a smile as you walked over "I am in love with you"

You looked back and still no results, you wanted to collapse and just lay there "Hm.. Okay maybe try kissing everyone?"

Wanda finally spoke up "No way, she's not going to kiss everyone here"

Natasha joined in "It wont work anyway"

Bruce faced her "Why do you say that?"

"Because if you ever watched any movies, you have to confess your love to someone you deeply love to undo the curse.." The Russian explained as your cheeks turned more red.

Wanda added "You're right, and in some you have to kiss them to actually break the spell!"

You looked at Bruce, it seemed he was in deep thought and he slowly started to nod "That does make sense but this isn't a fair tale"

Steve spoke up "No it isn't but it could work"

You covered your face with your hands, feeling like you would explode from the embarrassment you are able to receive, Bruce placed his hand on you "Who do you love Y/n?"

You took a deep breath as you looked up at him and finally with your red cheeks, walked up to Natasha and Wanda "This is so embarrassing.."

Wanda smiled at you and just when she wanted to reassure you it wasn't, you spoke up first "I am in love with the two of you, I had these feelings since we met and I'm not great at showing them... And this will be awkward if yous don't feel the same"

Natasha had a small smirk across her lips, she looked at Wanda who already knew what was going to happen, Wanda placed her hand on one of your hips as Natasha placed her hand on your other hip, they both smiled widely at you.

"We are in love with you too" Are the only words that left Natasha's mouth.

You smiled widely as well as your eyes darted between the two redheads, you looked over and there were some signs of the potion wearing off.

You smirked as you grabbed Natasha's face and pulled it into yours, kissing her roughly, as you pulled away, you in an instant attached your lips with Wanda, who quietly moaned at how you didn't waste your time.

"Ew, Witchy with the spy, get a room the three of you" Tony called out from behind you. You smiled as you pulled away from the kiss, you looked in their eyes completely ignoring the groans from behind.

"I think we need to throw more potions at her Nat" Wanda spoke with a laugh, earning a eager nod from the other redhead.

You rolled your eyes playfully at the two, as you held their hands "I'm sorry it took me so long to say it"

Wanda shook her head with a smile "You don't need to apologise, it's better to say something than nothing at all дорогой (Darling)"

You nodded and before letting everyone scatter away, you turned around as you looked at Steve "Why did it not work on you?"

Natasha's hand that was on your hip, pulled you back into her body as she tease "He wears too much perfume, it really messes with his breathing"

You laughed whole heartedly along with Wanda as she hugged your front with her head shoved into the crook of your neck, you loved this, the feeling of finally belonging amongst the two women you loved...

Curse or no curse, you knew this day would eventually come, who could not go crazy without them by your side..

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

If you want to join my tag list, click here and enjoy my future posts.

Tag list: @eilarch, @wandanatblogs, @madamevirgo @diaryoflife, @theprassebox, @daenerys713, @wymer

#wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wandanat x reader #wanda maximoff #natahsa romanoff #wanda x reader #natasha x reader #natasha fluff #wanda fluff #marvel

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9tzuyu · 3 years ago

Text

closest to me

prompt: coming out to natasha as nonbinary

note: totally meant to write this months ago, but whateverrrr. and yes, i am aware that not all nb people use they/them, this was just my own little work :p.

warnings: being scared to come out to ur sexy redhead russian of a gf :[

i’d tag but i also don’t want to somehow trigger someone :[

thank u moli for proofreading i love u to the moon and back.

. . .

you’d come out to two of your close friends, ones you knew wouldn’t judge you. they’d taken it just as expected, but that was no surprise when you’d known them your entire life. your shared opinions and thoughts were what brought you together in the first place.

your friends immediately began using your correct pronouns, and you’d never felt more right in your life. it was refreshing to hear yourself being referred by they/them rather than she/her. their constant support made you feel normal again. after so much struggling, things were finally being put into place.

but there was one person, one very important person whom you hadn’t come out to yet, and that was your girlfriend.

natasha.

the thought of having the conversation alone with her was terrifying. granted, you knew she’d never be anything but supportive, but all the what if’s came flooding through with each attempt you made.

your fingers trembled as you fiddled with the silver chain around your neck, a nervous habit you’d seemed to form over the years of wearing it.

god you wanted to tell her so bad.

but as you stood in the kitchen, natasha’s hands around your waist, you began to panic all over again. the familiar fear of judgment wrapped around your throat.

you didn’t know natasha the majority of your life like you did with friends, so you weren’t really sure what her exact opinions on different pronouns were. sure, she was part of the lgbt community, and of course she was supportive of trans people, but it still made you wonder how she’d feel about pronouns that weren’t he/him or she/her.

“what’s on your mind, baby? i can practically hear the gears turning in your head.”

you sighed. natasha always knew when you were lying, so you couldn’t make something up off the top of your head. she wouldn’t force you to talk either though. she’d give a push, but nothing more until you were certain you were ready — or in some cases, when she knew it was becoming too much to bear on your own.

“just dumb stuff. i’ll get over it soon.”

natasha nodded against your back, containing her concern for now. “you know i’m here.” she whispered, taking one of your hands away from your necklace.

“want to go downtown? we can look at some of the new shops that just opened up”

you smiled, “sure.”

for the next few weeks, you weren’t seeming to find any relief though, and natasha picked up on it. she tried her best to make things easier for you, but none of it seemed to work.

time and time again you reassured her that nothing was wrong, that things would clear up on their own, but another month down the road and natasha could still sense that something was eating away at you.

it’d gotten a little more obvious now. you didn’t go out as much with her when she was with her friends. the constant referral to you as something, or someone, you weren’t was a steady reminder of how outcast you’d originally felt when coming to terms with who you are.

“she/her” felt like a slap in the face every time you heard it. the words were exhausting, damn near agonizing to hear. but day after day you tried to suck it up out of fear of being rejected by one of the very special people you loved most.

it wasn’t until one sunday night when natasha came home to you crying in your shared bed when she’d finally had enough. her worry was through the roof and seeing you struggle so much pained her.

she dropped her keys on the nightstand and crawled into bed behind you, securing her arms tightly around your figure.

“talk to me. whatever it is, i want to hear about it.”

but that only made you cry harder. you couldn’t help but feel more alienated than you already felt. why were you crying over such a stupid little thing? you could already hear the false words slip from natasha’s lips.

“hey, baby. shh, shh, you’re okay.”

you turned your body to face natasha, teary eyes looking into hers. “you might hate me, or think i’m weird, or a freak, or that i’m just confused.”

your girlfriend gently combed through your hair with her nails. “i could never think those things about you. please tell me what this is about because i have no idea and i just want to help.”

her steady hand movement rubbing your arm while the other twirled your hand between her fingertips eventually brought you to a more reasonable state.

“you know how trans people typically go by their opposing pronouns?”

“mhm.”

“well... i don’t- i just- god this is so frustrating!” you frowned, unconsciously grasping at the chain around your neck.

“are you trying to tell me you’re trans?”

“no, no, it’s not that. well, i don’t think so, depends on who you talk to. some people like me consider themselves to be classified under the trans umbrella, but not everyone.”

natasha hummed once more while tracing small shapes against your skin.

“what do you think of nonbinary people? like, you know, those who don’t use she/her or he/him?”

she shrugged, and your heart sank for a brief second before she spoke. “i don’t have a problem with it. why?”

“i don’t like being referred to as she/her. my pronouns are they/them. i’m not a man and i’m not a woman... will that ever bother you?”

a smile broke out across the redhead’s face. “doesn’t bother me one single bit. i love you for you, y/n. not for who you think you’re supposed to be.”

relief was all you could feel. as cliche as it sounded, the weight of the world felt like it had been lifted from your shoulders. you didn’t have to worry anymore, not while natasha was around.

“is this what’s been bothering you for so long?”

you reached over and grabbed a loose red strand, it was your turn to play with her hair. “yeah. i knew you wouldn’t judge, but-”

“what if.” she confirmed and you nodded.

“does anyone else know?”

“just my two friends i grew up with.”

“no one else?” you shook your head, looping a red curl around your finger. “nope.”

“is that why you stopped hanging out with me, tony, clint and the rest of them? because everyone referred to you as she and her?”

“yeah, felt like a punch in the stomach every time i heard it. made me feel weird, not normal i guess.” you mumbled, almost embarrassed by the confession.

natasha placed a long kiss on the top of your head, rubbing your back for extra support. “they would never judge you, i’d cut them off in a heartbeat if they did. if it helps any, i can ask how they feel about it? poke around some and let you know what they say? then when they don’t have a problem with it, which they won’t, you can come out when you’re ready, yeah?”

you nodded again, although it was slightly hesitant. “sounds good.”

“forgive me if i mess up a couple of times. i’ll try not to make a big deal out of it and just correct myself.” another kiss was delivered to your head.

“oh! last question. promise.”

“yes?”

“when im around other people and you’re not with me do you want me to use they/them? i don’t want to out you when you’re not ready.”

“i swear you’re perfect,” you giggled. “but you can use they/them both when im with you and when i’m not. just try to keep it casual? please?”

“anything for you, sweetheart.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov x reader #black widow x reader #natasha x reader

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hamliet · 4 years ago

Text

Unless a Grain of Wheat Falls and It Dies...

Or, why I am pretty optimistic about the fates of Jean, Connie, Gabi, and all titanized people this chapter, which is also an excuse for me to talk about SnK’s allusions to Russian literature.

There are strikingly parallel ideas The Brothers Karamazov and Attack on Titan, as well as parallel plot points and imagery to the point where if it isn’t deliberate, it’s uncanny. (NB: before people yell at me about comparing a Japanese and Russian work, Isayama has used Russian names since the start of SnK--Shiganshina is a Russian name.) In particular, there are narrative allusions to a portion of the novel known as “The Grand Inquisitor,” which is a short story within a novel. The central thesis of “The Grand Inquisitor” is as follows:

nothing has ever been more insupportable for a man and a human society than freedom.

This parable is told within the story by Ivan Karamazov, a character whose intellectuality is his gift and his curse. He tells his brother Alyosha that the motivation for creating this parable is precisely the evils done to children (oh look, a major SnK theme) and specifically cites an example which was unfortunately taken from real life in Russia and which Isayama has an uncanny parallel:

I want to see with my own eyes the hind lie down with the lion and the victim rise up and embrace his murderer. I want to be there when every one suddenly understands what it has all been for. All the religions of the world are built on this longing, and I am a believer. But then there are the children, and what am I to do about them? That's a question I can't answer... If all must suffer to pay for the eternal harmony, what have children to do with it, tell me, please? ... if it is really true that they must share responsibility for all their fathers' crimes, such a truth is not of this world and is beyond my comprehension. Some jester will say, perhaps, that the child would have grown up and have sinned, but you see he didn't grow up, he was torn to pieces by the dogs, at eight years old...

... How are you going to atone for them? Is it possible? ... What do I care for a hell for oppressors? What good can hell do, since those children have already been tortured? ... I want to forgive. I want to embrace. I don't want more suffering. And if the sufferings of children go to swell the sum of sufferings which was necessary to pay for truth, then I protest that the truth is not worth such a price. ... too high a price is asked for harmony; it's beyond our means to pay so much to enter on it... It's not God that I don't accept, Alyosha, only I most respectfully return Him the ticket.”

The actual parable of “The Grand Inquisitor” is Ivan’s answer to Alyosha’s question about Ivan’s lines above. Ivan tells a story about how freedom is actually what dooms humanity: it is the curse. (Alyosha does not believe this.) Jesus comes back to earth and is promptly arrested, because his existence and return threaten the wellbeing of society. To be happy, one cannot be free, but one or two strong people in society should be free and bear the burden for everyone else (you can see the parallels to King Fritz/the Reisses).

Nothing is more seductive for man than his freedom of conscience, but nothing is a greater cause of suffering... all his life he loved humanity, and suddenly his eyes were opened, and he saw that it is no great moral blessedness to attain perfection and freedom, if at the same time one gains the conviction that millions of God's creatures have been created as a mockery, that they will never be capable of using their freedom...

This is SnK’s thesis: to be free, there will be suffering. It is part of human nature, and yet to not have it is to be lost. But SnK, despite its explorations of human darkness and monstrosity, has a higher view of humanity than does Ivan. SnK’s view is more alongside Alyosha’s, who says what is honestly the truth about not just the Reisses, but Eren now:

"Who are these keepers of the mystery who have taken some curse upon themselves for the happiness of mankind? .... It's simple lust of power, of filthy earthly gain, of domination—something like a universal serfdom with them as masters—that's all they stand for.”

Mikasa is akin to the Christ figure in the story, akin to Alyosha: Christ is constantly asked to speak, asked to act, and he does not until the very last moment, when he kisses the Grand Inquisitor on the lips. After the story is over, Alyosha then does likewise to Ivan.

Not to mention when Alyosha worries about Ivan’s mental state, he then answers with this:

“Listen, Alyosha,” Ivan began in a resolute voice, “if I am really able to care for the sticky little leaves I shall only love them, remembering you. It's enough for me that you are somewhere here, and I shan't lose my desire for life yet.”

A simple leaf can save a life. A leaf can save the world. A leaf, grown from a tree that started as a seed falling to the ground, dead, only to grow life from that death. Alyosha himself notes SnK’s central thesis of chapter 137 in the (very long) novel’s final pages:

...some good, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If a man carries many such memories with him into life, he is safe to the end of his days, and if one has only one good memory left in one's heart, even that may sometime be the means of saving us.

There’s a lot more to this, but this is the epigraph to The Brothers Karamazov, the central thesis of the entire novel:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." -John 12:24

Suffering can grow great fruit in an individual life, and by giving something up, by even death, something beautiful can come. Through cruelty, you can find life.

This is not just a long-running theme in SnK, but a pattern in its plot. Often those who surrender then receive exactly what they had surrendered (but admittedly, not always, like Erwin).

Mikasa accepted Eren’s loss, and got him back.

Mikasa let Armin go, and got him back.

Falco gave up hope of survival, and got another chance:

Hange was going to die alone, feeling guilty for having failed her comrades, but saw everyone again, and they told her well done:

Historia gave up being free, but now we know she will be.

Levi gave up on his revenge, and then got it. Annie thought she would never see her dad again, but she did. For Mikasa, accepting that she has to kill the boy she loves coincides not just with her acceptance of her love, but with the acceptance and knowledge that he loves her:

It always comes with sacrifice, increasingly hard sacrifice, but usually the seeds that are dropped grow and bloom.

This chapter, everyone surrendered their hearts. They let their dreams fall to the ground, and I honestly think the story will allow it to plant life. Yes, the world as a whole is saved and that is enough to make thematic sense, but it works even better if the very people who were titanized this chapter also bloom again. They chose to trust Mikasa, Levi, Falco, and Pieck to finish the task.

The characters giving up their lives only to get them back make sense, and give Mikasa’s sacrifice of Eren. For Mikasa, Eren was her world, and she gave it up when she had lost everyone else. She had nothing left, and she still did it. I would hope she’d be narratively rewarded beyond just the world being saved, because Mikasa has always been motivated by her personal relationships.

Moving on from Mikasa: Connie’s mom has been kept alive and the concept of turning mindless titans back to humans was already brought up specifically in relation to her:

Connie giving up on his mother a dozenish chapters ago only to get her back now--not through sacrificing a child, but through saving the entire world--would fit the themes and patterns of SnK.

Thirdly, Gabi should not die. She’s Eren with positive development, and cannot meet the same end. Even people who are skeptical of every titan being saved seem to agree that she’ll be fine. It’s possible she’s the only one saved, but imo, not likely.

See, the only shifter characters who are going to have the option of self-sacrifice are Falco and maaaaaybe Armin. The others look like they’re about to die right here and now, never mind choosing someone to save: the mindless titans are ripping at their napes. Armin also looks to be in bad shape.

Yet Armin cannot narratively commit suicide; two chapters ago he was still screaming at himself for being useless and thinking he would be better off dead. He’s already tried the heroic sacrifice, too, so why would it work this time around? It does not work for his arc. Falco dying for Gabi was the plan without any freedom from the titan curse; it’s more powerful if ending the curse changes things, rather than forcing him to make the same choice that Reiner has always been trying to make: a heroic suicide. It could happen; it’s just not as narratively strong.

As for whether the worldbuilding rules, we know that mindless titans are not truly dead nor entirely mindless; they just don’t have freedom. Ymir’s case of getting herself back after decades shows that they aren’t quite dead or absorbed. They still have consciousness that can be awoken; Ymir described it as being in a long “nightmare.” Dina still went looking for Grisha. Connie’s mom remembered and recognized Connie, telling him “welcome home.” There is plenty of evidence that there are parts of these people that are still in there even if they are forced to become monsters (oh hey, it’s an Eren parallel; he was conscious of it and had choices while mindless titans do not, but the parallel remains).

#snk 138 #snk meta #aot 138 #aot meta #mikasa ackerman #eremika #eren jaeger #armin arlert #the brothers karamazov #gabi braun #connie springer #jean kirchstein #ymir #falco grice #galco #reiner braun #annie leonhart #levi ackerman #historia reiss

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nanathebb · 4 years ago

Text

You deserve love

A/N: Hi guys! This is the first time I’m posting on Tumblr, so I’m still figuring everything out 😁 Feedback is always appreciated, and requests are open (my dms too if you wanna be friends 🤗) Let me know if I should add warnings, enjoy!

Natasha believed she didn’t deserve love. It was just like that. Because of her past, the bad things she had done, she didn’t deserve to be loved. She didn’t deserve to have someone who cared about her, in more than a platonic way. She had killed, she had tortured, she had done bad things.

Why would she deserve love? There were good people in this world, genuine people. People rescuing abandoned animals, giving food to others living in the streets, or even helping move in their neighbors. She could see people giving random acts of kindness, but she couldn’t see it in herself. As she helped Peter with his homework, gave a hand to Wanda for the food, or saving the world. She thought she wasn’t kind, she wasn’t nice, she was just trying to make up for all the bad she had done. But all of the saving in the world, wouldn’t make her better in her eyes.

Those thoughts occurred in her mind most of the days. Even now, as she bumps into a complete stranger, pouring her coffee all over them, making them gasp.

Well, how cliche, she thought.

“I am so sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.” Natasha starts to apologize as she looks up at the stranger in front of her.

“It’s really no problem, it’s just really hot, gosh.” The stranger replies as she tries to tug her shirt away from her as best as she can, keeping the hot liquid off her body.

Natasha glances down to the girl's chest, seeing the white fabric clinging to her body.

Even more cliche, she told herself.

She looked back up at the woman's face, taking a second to study her face. Her nose was scrunched up as she kept looking down at her white shirt, now stained with Natasha's coffee. She looked up at Natasha, smiling softly. Natasha could tell she was a good person. She was carrying some grocery bags, making the redhead wonder how she was not struggling. Her smile was genuine, she wasn't mad at the redhead for spilling her coffee on her, she seemed so relaxed, so happy. Natasha envied that. The redhead smiled a little. She had seen people angry for far less than that.

“It's really no big deal, I was on my way home anyway.” The stranger says with a warm smile.

“Oh please, I just ruined your shirt, let me repay you in any way I can.” The spy replies, smiling a little bigger, feeling bad for what happened.

“Well, I live down the street, some help would be nice.” The woman said motioning to the grocery bags. Natasha immediately reached for two of the bags, grabbing them.

“Of course, I'll carry them to your place, it's the least I can do.”

The woman sends a warm smile towards Natasha, as they both start walking down the street. The stranger is the first to break the silence "So what's the name of the redhead who likes to spill coffee on strangers?" she says, making Natasha chuckle slightly, catching her off guard. She wasn't expecting the comment, neither the question. She assumed the woman would recognize her, but it felt strangely comforting knowing she didn’t.

"The name is Natasha. What's the name of the stranger who carries grocery bags almost bigger than her.” The redhead replies with a small smirk, earning a small giggle from the stranger.

"I'm Y/N. My family is coming for lunch later, and I love to cook.” She replies with a smile. She loves her family the redhead thinks.

If they are as nice as her I understand why, she thinks to herself.

"What were you thinking that was so important you didn't see me?" She asks gently, making conversation. The redhead wonders if she should tell her.

"I was thinking about how much I don't deserve love." She spills, without thinking twice.

The woman beside her stops, turning towards the spy. She stares at her for a few seconds, looking deep in thoughts, squinting her eyes. And she starts to walk again, looking in front of her.

"Why would you think that?" She asks the assassin softly, not imagining all of the things the redhead had to do to survive. The redhead thinks, not wanting to reveal herself completely, and all the bad things she did.

"I did some bad things, in the past. I don't think someone who did what I did should be loved by anyone." The Russian spy replies, revealing her daily thoughts to the woman she just met.

The beautiful woman beside her keeps walking in silence, looking ahead of her.

"I think everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone should receive acts of love and kindness. Whether it's having someone by your side every day, or just receiving a smile in the street. Everyone deserves it at some point." The woman says after some time, surprising the redhead with the angelic words she just pronounced.

Before the Russian spy can think of anything to reply, the woman continues "We all do bad things, whether it is something terrible, or something just crappy. But there is always a context, it's not always directly your fault." The stranger finishes.

A context. There is always a context. Natasha was aware of it, she knew she wasn't acting on her own, but she still did those things. Even with a gun pointed at her head, she did those things. She could have said no, and die, instead of killing.

She killed to survive. Like everyone here, she was trying to survive, in her own way.

She looks at the woman offering her a warm smile, as they stop in front of her house. She is however unable to return it, her mind completely frozen. The woman she met a few minutes ago grabs the grocery bags, after opening her front door, telling the redhead she will be back in a second. Natasha waits by the door, still thinking about what the other woman had said. How could someone think so purely? How can someone see beauty when there is none?

She's fascinating, the redhead thinks to herself.

The H/C woman returns, a soft smile planted on her beautiful lips, as she holds a rose enveloped in a piece of paper.

“You’re a beautiful woman Natasha, I’m sure you already know. I don’t know what you did, but the fact you still think about it, shows you care. It shows it affects you.” The woman says as she looks the redhead in the eyes. “Whatever you did, you need to forgive yourself, because you deserve to be loved.” The woman finishes with a soft smile playing on her lips. She hands the rose to the spy, the piece of paper wrapped around it.

Natasha glances down at the beautiful flower in her hands, admiring it.

“A flower with thorns can become something splendid. And someone with a dark past can shine in the future.” The woman tells Natasha, smiling still. Natasha stares at her, mouth slightly open, not knowing what to say.

“You’re breathtaking.” The superhero says in a breath, completely overwhelmed at the thought of the woman she just met. The kind woman chuckles, her lips painted with a smile, again. “There’s my number on the paper, in case you need a reminder you deserve love.” She says, closing her front door as she says goodbye, leaving the redhead outside alone.

And for the first time in a long time, Natasha believes that maybe, maybe, she deserves love.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow x reader #black widow #avengers #marvel #mcu #natasha romanoff fanfiction

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