#but my man was not listening to mariah carey on purpose
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i tried to choose the most prominent artists of that specific decade and i chose only one artist/group per genre. i also excluded artists based on "he would not fucking listen to that" vibes (in my highly subjective opinion).
this is not an exhaustive list.
reblog for bigger sample etc 🤗🫶
#tommy kinard#911 abc#like a lot of artists i could add based on ''yes he listened to them on the radio''#like mariah carey#but my man was not listening to mariah carey on purpose#you think he was feeling secure enough in his masculinity to blast female artists? please.#also i debated adding TLC instead of destiny's child but then#im biased bc i did listen to destiny's child. wait who am i kidding. i DO listen to destiny's child.#my polls
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Ego Holiday Headcanons
Haven’t decided if I’ll make more after this, but here’s some festive headcanons for the Septic boys! (tagging as Yuletube for my submission for the past two missed days, hope that’s alright!)
Henrik Von Schneeplestein
-The host of the Septic Ego Holiday Celebration (est. 2017)
-STRESSED
-If he wasn’t stressed enough by being a doctor (and parent lmao), HE IS NOW
-Getting all the egos together for the holidays and making sure they DON’T kill each other?? Someone give this man an award
-Everyone keeping their limbs would be his only Christmas wish
-He does not get said Christmas wish (see: Robbie)
-Switches up his black coffee for coffee with peppermint creamer
-Chase eventually hooks him on peppermint tea instead, he knows the Doc needs sleep
-Can be found humming along to the Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy as he cooks holiday dinner
-Definitely has a “kiss the cook” apron
-Chase crossed out the “the” on it with “zhe” in sharpie
-Day 5, Schneep still hasn’t noticed
-Loves it, but still wears his doctor coat on top of it
-Gets very cold easily, so the fire is always burning
-Has a nutcracker collection
-It’s getting out of hand
Chase Brody
-Holidays are,,, hard for him
-Still sends his kids cards and presents, never actually knowing if they get them or not
-They do, I promise
-Wasn’t originally keen on celebrating with everyone, he has a tendency to self-isolate
-But once he gets there, he’s glad he did
-IMMEDIATELY tackled in a hug from Jackie
-”YOU’RE HERE!! Couldn’t start without you, dude!”
-Everyone else smiles and gives the appropriate hug
-(Anti does not, but no eye roll this time at least)
-Absolutely loves warm apple cider and has a good recipe to make his own
-Favorite Christmas movie is Elf, no I do not take criticism
-Has a soft spot for Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas though because of his kids
-Holiday puns, you CANNOT get this man to shut up with the puns
- “Where’s Anti?” “Up to SNOW good! There’s SNOW way we can REIN him in now!”
-Once it snows, this boy is sledding down every hill in SIGHT
-Teaches Robbie how to catch snowflakes on his tongue
-Marvin makes him a “World’s Best Dad” sweater
-He totally cries and does not take it off the rest of the season
Jackieboy Man
-Christmas is his favorite holiday
-Good luck getting him to sit still around this time
-Has super strength, so he doesn’t quite have the same “don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself” factor that everyone else does??
-Nearly giving Henrik a heart attack everytime he moves, but make it Festive™
-”Guys it’s snowing!!” “JACKIE GET ZHE FAHK OFF ZHE RAILING”
-Slides down the stairs anyway
-Marvin made him a whole ass “ugly supersuit” instead of just a sweater
-It is a w f u l, but on purpose
-Ofc Jackie adores the shit out of it
-Loves snowball fights!
-Always gets targeted by Anti tho
-Eventually it turns into a snowball war
-Pulls Chase over to tag team him, then discovers Marvin has an alliance with Anti
-They will be here a while
-Time to break out the reindeer-themed boxers
-They go along perfectly with his red and blue sweater-suit
-Eventually able to settle down when it gets dark out, bonus points if there’s hot chocolate involved (courtesy of JJ)
-Don’t forget the marshmallows
-Wants to help everybody out with their plans, always does his best
-Even if his best includes falling off a roof
Marvin the Magnificent
-Made everyone sweaters, even Anti
-Spent too much time on the design parts to make em perfect, so he had to rush getting them all sewn
-Uses his magic to sew like three at once
-December 1st, 12:00am is when the Christmas music starts
-Mariah Carey impressions that slowly get higher as the month goes on
-Performs a “Let It Go” rendition that could rival Idina’s during christmas karaoke night
-Switches his regular mask for his holiday one with snowflakes instead of card suits on it
-The decorating master, with JJ as his apprentice
-Favorite part is designing for the lights outside
-Learned a spell to make it look like it’s snowing inside
-Forgot to learn the spell to make it stop snowing inside
-Ended up just sticking with those paper snowflakes dangling on the ceiling
-Asks Jackie for help with the lights on the roof, not because he can’t easily do it himself, he just knows that Jackie likes to help and this is the one thing he knows he can’t break
-Did not expect Jackie to break himself by falling off the roof instead
-Ends up finishing the lights with his magic anyway (after he untangles his boyfriend from the lights, that is)
-Can and will destroy Jackie during snowball fights just because he can
Jameson Jackson
-THIS BOY oh this boy
-Brings out the classic holiday music and sets it up on the gramophone
-LOVES making up dances to the music
-May be a classic boy, but his guilty pleasure is Michael Buble
-(Robbie calls him bubbles whenever he comes on)
-Goes ALL OUT with the holiday baking
-Cookies of all kinds, homemade gingerbread for the houses, so many pies, even learns how to bake his own bread
-Everyone agrees that his pumpkin bread is the best
-Anti especially loves the cherry pie for “aesthetic purposes”
-Has a whole “Twas the Night Before Christmas” puppet show routine
-His job is making the decorations while Marvin sets them all up, it’s a great dynamic
-Definitely makes those traditional popcorn garlands for the tree
-for some reason puts an orange in his stocking?? The others are confused, but he’s so excited so they just let him do his thing
-Now everyone has oranges in their stockings
-They still don’t know what it means
Antisepticeye
-Die Hard is a Christmas movie, dammit!
- “Grinch Bitch” is what his sweater from Marvin says
-Secretly likes it, but fuck off
-Wears it to sleep every night in Winter
-You know that thing where cats get under Christmas trees and swat at the ornaments? Yeah that’s him
-Loves the white elephant gift game
-Ends up getting a present and it’s a turtle
-His name is knives
-KING OF SNOWBALL FIGHTS
-Fills his snowballs with fake blood so they explode on people
- (at least we hope its fake)
-If it doesn’t snow enough, he is the bitch who throws water balloons instead
-Henrik still has work leading up to Christmas, so Anti listens to him rant when he gets home
-Christmas patients are fuckin crazy and he loves it
-One time fell asleep and woke up with a red nose and antlers
-Chase was never safe after that
-Kept the antlers though, they jingle
-Saved them all from Chase’s puns that day
- “Where’s Anti?” *distant, staticky jingling* “Ah there he is”
Robbie the Zombie
-LIGHTS...pretty lights…
-He loves the lights, and will try to eat them if you’re not careful
-Says they’re static candy
-Doesn’t get cold because he can’t feel it, so he often wanders around in the snow
-One time he came home without his left foot and Schneep nearly had a heart attack
-Turns out it froze in the snow and snapped off his leg
-The Great Foot Search Party of 2020
-Please don’t forget to bundle this boy up before going out
-Anti has knitted him a hat and scarf for just this reason
-Henrik was the Proudest Dad that day
-Totally gets to put the star on the Christmas tree every year
-Marvin levitates him high enough
-Favorite holiday movie is The Polar Express
-One time JJ came out with his signature hot cocoa during the movie scene and Robbie was THRILLED
-Talking almost knocked him over thrilled
-Tries to sing along to holiday music, the lyrics don’t work out much
-Really good at keeping a beat though
-Marvin made him a sweater with bells on it
-Adores the bells, flaps the too long sleeves to make them jingle
Shawn Flynn
-Likes Christmas, but like lowkey
-He’s a toymaker!!! He makes adorable toys for all the egos as their presents from him!!
-Didn’t really have a family to go back to in his days at Joey Drew Studios, so he was used to spending Christmas alone, usually working
-NOT ANYMORE!
-Now he has Too Much Family (but in the good way)
-Absolutely gets nicknamed Scrooge at first, probably because he really likes A Christmas Carol and he’s a grump
-Often can be found being pulled off to dance by the gramophone with JJ
-He’s got two left feet, but JJ doesn’t really care
-If anyone still believes in Santa, even just a little bit, it’s because of him
-Has a giant red sack that he fills up with toys he’s made and/or the ones no one could sell back at the studios and donates them to orphanages
-Usually sticks to his old timey clothes, but when he does wear modern Christmas attire like the sweaters, he has,,,no idea how to match things
-It’s ‘cause he’s red/green colorblind
-once asked why Marvin had “yellow” hair
-JJ makes sure that his decorations have lots of blues so it’s not so much strain on his eyes
#yuletube2020#yuletube#jse egos#henrik von schneeplestein#chase brody#marvin the magnificent#jackieboy man#shawn flynn#jameson jackson#antisepticeye#my writing#prompt list#Headcanons
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under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow day 9: cliffs
Character A vows to do something nice for a stranger during the Christmas time. Character B is that stranger,, percabeth
Percy happens to think that he’s a nice human being. He tries to be, at least. He has his moments because no one is perfect, but he’s always done his best to be considerate of those around him.
So when his friend tells him that he’s really not a nice person, he just about loses it.
“I am not a bad person!”
Leo raises his hands defensively. “I’m not saying you’re a bad person. All I’m saying is that you could be a little bit more... generous.”
Piper rolls her eyes. “Leave the poor man alone, Leo.”
“I’m generous,” he says, miffed.
“But...” Leo waves his hands wildly, and Percy feels the instinct to punch him in the nose and make him Rudolph. “Do something nice for once.”
“Percy,” Piper says, “he’s just mad that you didn’t give him a piece of your gingerbread cookie. Don’t listen to him.”
Still, it stings just a little bit. Even if it’s a joke, Percy doesn’t think it’s very funny. That’s what prompts him to do something kind this Christmas. He honestly doesn’t know what he plans on doing because what could he do? Buy all of someone’s presents and also go broke in the process? Maybe he could buy someone’s cheap coffee, but then is it really something nice if it’s only two dollars?
Whatever it is, Percy knows that Leo has to be there to see it so he can make Leo choke on his words. The only problem then, though, is that Leo would no doubt say something along the lines of you’re only doing it because you want to prove me wrong, not because you care, bla bla bla, and the Percy will actually shank Leo with a peppermint candy cane.
Percy tries so hard to find the chance to make someone’s Christmas, but it’s so much harder than he would’ve thought. People ignore him when he’s speaking to them about buying their order, or they think it’s some weird Christmas ploy.
He doesn’t get to do something kind until Christmas day.
Percy’s standing in the freezing air on top of a snow-tubing mountain. His friends had dragged him here against his will, because despite being a native New Yorker, he hated the cold. He wanted to be included though, so he came along anyways, stuffed into a black snow suit and a knitted hat. His nose burns from the icy atmosphere, and his fingers are numb. He considers checking for frostbite but then he decides he’d rather not know.
He’s standing on a small wall of ice overlooking everyone else. Leo is somewhere to his right, threatening to push Piper off of the wall, and Percy purposely avoids making eye contact in fear that he’ll be next.
The wall of ice can’t be anything more than five or six feet. He doesn’t know if they’re actually allowed to be up there, but there’s so many people doing the same thing that he’s not too worried.
He watches as a few people jump off of the wall into the fluffy layer of snow, vaguely listening to the conversations around him. He hears a mother hassling her children, and his ears perk up as he notices her muttering something along the lines of her not being able to afford buying them each a hot chocolate from the cabin that lays near the bottom of the mountain.
Percy doesn’t stop to think first, which is probably a mistake.
“I can buy it for you,” he interjects kindly, thrilled that he’s finally getting the chance to do something nice.
The mom looks at him, and it’s almost as though she’s appalled that he’s spoken to her. Percy shrinks back.
“I’m good,” she says.
“I don’t mind,” he continues, more nervous. “It’s only a couple dollars each, and—”
She holds a hand up. “I don’t want to have sex with you.”
Percy’s mind comes to a screeching halt. “What!? That’s not what I—”
“You’re going to tell me that you’re offering to pay twenty dollars and it’s not because you want to sleep with me?”
“No! I was just trying to do something nice for a stranger after my friend said—”
“I don’t want to hear it!” she snaps, already beginning to walk away from Percy. “Follow me and I’ll cut your dick off.”
It’s so shocking to him that he doesn’t even have time to respond before she’s already gone. He truly must have the worst luck because he’s just trying to create Christmas magic, and everyone seems to be doing the exact opposite of that.
Percy’s mouth gapes slightly, his brain still not comprehending what just happened. He’s only pulled out of the haze when someone snorts next to him.
He turns his eyes and catches a girl looking like she was smothering laughter.
“I’m sorry,” she says, laughter now bubbling out of her lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a conversation go so wrong so quickly.”
“I don’t even know what I did,” he mutters, scratching the back of his neck.
“Something she didn’t like, apparently.” She’s still giggling slightly, and Percy thinks it’s kind of cute. She’s shorter than him, and her nose has a red tint to it. He can see the puff of air each time she takes a breath, and she looks like she’s ready to go inside and curl into a ball for a nap.
“God. That’s embarrassing.”
“I got a front row seat to that show,” she says. “Why are you trying to do something nice, anyways?”
Percy is surprised that a stranger would want to talk to him after witnessing that, but he doesn’t mind. “My friend called me a horrible person and said I was going to hell.”
“Ouch.”
“That’s not exactly what he said,” he admits, “but he might as well have. He’s dead to me.”
“And yet you’re still trying to please a stranger,” she says wryly.
“I don’t want to go to hell,” he whines, and she laughs softly.
“I’m sure you won’t go to hell. You might lose your genitalia, but you’re not going to hell.”
“Yes, thank you for the reminder,” he says. The faint music in the background changes songs, and she rolls her eyes.
“This music is getting out of hand,” she says. “It’s like they’re trying to suffocate us in Christmas spirit.”
“It could be worse, don’t you think?”
“Is rather drown in eggnog than listen to another Christmas song.” She thinks for a moment, looking out into the distance off of the cliff of ice. “Can you promise to push me off this cliff if all I want for Christmas is youplays again?”
Percy chokes. “Push you off the cliff?”
“Yes, please.”
“I wouldn’t want to hurt you,” he says.
“Nothing could hurt more than having my ears bleed to that song. I think it would be easier to simply die and get reborn as Santa’s slaves in the north pole.”
“Oh, wow.”
“Besides, this could be your chance to do something nice.”
“Does murder count as something nice?”
“In certain situations, maybe.”
Percy smiles, though he instantly regrets it when his teeth start to ache. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Annabeth,” she says.
“Percy,” he returns. “So before I get arrested for shoving you off a cliff, let me just make sure I’m hearing this right. You want me to push you off that ledge if Mariah Carey starts playing?”
“Exactly. You have my full permission.”
“Great,” he chokes out. They lock eyes and chuckle slightly at their own antics. Percy thinks someone calls his name from somewhere behind him, but he’s much preoccupied to turn around. Percy doesn’t think Annabeth would be someone to bully him, unlike some friends.
Percy thinks he should write a letter to Leo about his recent harassment. He thinks little rascals is a good baseline. It would start with, Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You’re scum between my toes. That’ll show him.
“Are you alone?” Annabeth asks kindly.
“I’m here with my friends, but I might as well be alone. They’re mean. I don’t like them.”
“You sure they’re your friends?”
“Eh. Not really,” he says, but he’s only kidding. He loves them dearly, even if they’re the worst people he has ever met. Leo in particular.
“Lovely,” she says. Her gloved hands reach up to move a strand of hair away from her mouth. The wind has started blowing harder, and it’s beginning to tangle her hair. “I’ll be your friend, then. I won’t bully you.”
“I hardly know you. How can I be sure you won’t bully me?”
“I guess you’ll just have to stick around and find out.”
He wouldn’t mind sticking around, he thinks. Especially not with the way she’s looking at him, making him feel the urge to pull her in close and protect her from the biting winds.
As they continue talking, Percy can’t help but think that he likes her. He really like her, actually. She’s sweet and funny, always having something to quip back to him. He finds out soon that she lives quite close to him, and something in him screams to ask her if she wants to do something soon. He holds off on that, but he still can feel the way his heart threatens to pound out of his chest.
A sly grin forms on his face as he hears the change in music. It’s not a song that’s easy to miss, so it catches his ear immediately, and he is prepared.
“Hey, Annabeth.”
“What?”
“Guess what’s playing.”
She tilts her head as she listens to the music, and then she groans in annoyance. “Of course it is.”
“I promised to do something nice this Christmas.” She blinks. “You did.”
“I gotta do it to you.”
“Percy—”
“I made a promise,” he says, shrugging. He steps forwards, and she takes a step back, but there’s a wide grin on her face.
“Don’t you dare,” she threatens with zero malice in her voice.
“It’s my duty to you,” he says. “I don’t break my promises.” With that, he fulfils the gap between them, grabbing her in his arms by the waist and lifting her up. She wiggles in his grasp, letting her legs go limp, and she’s laughing until she can’t breathe.
Percy brings her to the ledge, his smile matching hers, and as he tries to drop her as gently as possible, she grabs on tighter and pulls, and he goes tumbling face-first into the snow with her.
He lands somewhat on top of her, and his face is buried surprisingly deep. He pulls his face out of the hole he’s dug, and when he looks at her, her head is thrown back as she lets out uncontrollable giggles. When she looks at him, it only gets worse.
“Your eyelashes are covered in snow,” she gasps, wiping carelessly at his face for him. She kicks him off of her lazily and leans back, looking up at the sky. “You ass.”
“I just did what you asked me to!”
“I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”
“But you’re alive, and I’ve done my good deed! We both win.”
She shakes her head at him, eyeing him is mock disappointment. “I change my mind. I am going to bully you.”
“You’d have to stick around long enough for that,” he reminds her.
“After you just tried to kill me? You bet I’m sticking around, if only for revenge.”
Percy pouts. “I’m so scared.”
“You better be because when I push you off a cliff, it isn’t going to be seven feet into snow.”
“At least I can die happy knowing that I did my good deed for the year.” Percy turns onto his size and gazes deeply into her eyes. Her eyes fit in perfectly to the scene around them, layers of white snow, barren trees in the distance, matching the grey sky above. He really does want to see her again, to find out if she’s as soft as she looks, if she’s as perfect for hugging as she seems, if she wants to kiss him as bad as he wants to kiss her.
He gets his answer when she says, “You haven’t finished your good deed quite yet.” Percy pretends to be oblivious. “Oh? What else do I need to do?”
She smiles in the perfect way he just knows he’s going to fall in love with. “Kiss me.”
He pulls her in close, both of them still laying in the snow, ice beginning to seep into their backs, and when he puts his lips to hers, she’s warm and sweet and perfect.
And when she pulls away to lock eyes with him before slamming his face back into the snow, he can’t even be mad. She’s cute, looking at him proudly, and he’s falling in love with this stranger on Christmas night.
,, courtesy of ash @silenabeth
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Not that damn song again (George Weasley x Reader)
Description : It's Christmas time so a cute fluffy fic about it sounds right. And I'm a simp for George (and Christmas songs), I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Words count : 2.5K
Author note's : lyrics from All I want for Christmas by Mariah Carey are in italics.
Tag list : @memekingofwwiii
It's terribly cliché but you can't lie, you love Christmas. There is no better time of year, with snow, hot chocolate, big sweaters, cinnamon cookies and decorations everywhere, how not to love it ? You don't understand people who prefer summer with its sweltering heat and sunburn and all those damn mosquitoes. But unfortunately for you, your boyfriend is a man of the second category whereas you are a woman of the first category. Which makes some things a bit complicated, like you grumbling when he wants to pull you out in the July sun or like him not being able to stand the Christmas carols that you play over and over again from the first of November.
“Not that damn song again …” he mumbles, hiding his face in his hands. “Darling I love you, but if you play this song one more time ...”
“Come on Georgie, it’s Christmas time ! Listening to Christmas songs is essential to my mental health right now. It's either that or stuff myself with cinnamon cookies with the delicious icing and not fit into my favorite sweaters anymore. You really don't like it ?”, coming to give him a back hug with puppy eyes. He never resists you with those eyes, he loves to see them disappear to give way to a big smile.
“I'm sorry my love, but at the end of the fiftieth listening of your playlist I started to hate Santa Claus and the sound of the bells.”
You're both sitting on his bed, he's finishing his potion homework but he's not getting very far with you in the same room listening to the same songs for over a month. He hates it because he loves you with all his heart, but he's starting to wish he could go deaf so he can't stand those melodies which haunt him even in his sleep. He would love it as much as you do, but the more the days go by, the more he understands this will never be the case. And he doesn't want to put limits on how you enjoy this time, he knows how much it means to you.
You put your hands under his sweater to warm your hands, the contact of your cold skin on his abdo makes him startle as you let out a giggle.
“Sorry, my hands are cold and I know that your mother's sweaters keep me warm so I took advantage of it …”
“I know darling, it's absolutely not to satisfy your wandering hands.” he says as he turns his head to kiss you, “I'm going to ask my mother to knit you some mittens, since it's very warm.”
“Good idea, I'm freezing to death right now.” George begins to turn around with a grin on his face, ready to warm you up in his own way but you haven’t noticed his purpose, “I'm going to go make hot chocolate in the kitchen, do you want some too ? I can bring you a cup, I make the best hot chocolate you've ever tasted. No offense to your mom who must make really good ones too, but mine is better.”
You often take him by surprise, changing the subject or not noticing how the situation is turning out and he always found it charming. You make him think of Luna a little bit, on another level but just as clueless as her sometimes. Your boyfriend smiles at you, returning to his potion homework. “Anything to please you darling.”
“You'll see, it's fabulous! I have a secret ingredient, if you're nice I might tell you what it is.” you put on one of his sweaters that you take from his suitcase before you wink at him and leave the room. He should take advantage of the silence of your absence to finish his damn homework in a hurry but he can't concentrate. Potion is boring and he really loves it when you wear one of his sweaters, it's way too big for you and that's what makes you so adorable. And you will come to spend a few days at the Burrow, meet his parents as his girlfriend and receive your own sweater knitted by Molly. He hopes that you will continue to steal from him even if you have your own.
“Here it is ! Taste it and tell me.” you say while putting the cup in his hand. You already know what he’ll say of course, everybody loves your hot chocolate, there is no reason for your boyfriend not to do the same. He thanks you before taking a sip of the hot drink, ready for a chocolate too sweet with some spice in it. And it is, but he has to admit that it is particularly good. He nods his head before he smiles at you. “You're right, it's the best I've ever tasted.” He puts his cup on the bedside table and returns to his parchment.
“So why don't you keep drinking it ? It doesn't look like the best hot chocolate you've ever tasted.” You're sure George didn't lie to you, but you still hoped he would act on his words. When he tells you it's the best hot chocolate he's ever had in his hands, you wish he wouldn't let go of the cup until he's finished it. Maybe you have a misplaced ego but this chocolate is your personal pride and you want your boyfriend to treat it well.
He runs a hand through his hair, not even taking his eyes off his homework. “I've never been a big fan of hot chocolate or Christmas cookies and certainly not of all those bell-filled songs. I’m sorry darling but I never liked any of this.” You melt before his eyes, he is sincerely sorry he doesn't like what makes you so happy and you think it's too cute.
"I'm just not a Christmas person. It's good because we saw family and have presents but still don't get what you found in this period.” You come and join him on the bed, sitting in a suit in front of him. “It’s simple. Let it snow, Jingle Bell Rock, All I Want For Christmas, it’s all about a magical time.” In his eyes you can tell that he doesn't understand at all what you're talking about, which is amazing when you consider how much time he spent listening to all those songs. “We are wizards. Our whole life is magical, I'm not sure I understand you on that point.” You grab a roll of parchment and hold it as if it were a microphone, looking at him with a glim in your eyes.
The best thing you can do to help him understand is to show him. You’re not a good singer, at least George never complains about it, perhaps because he tries very hard to keep his mind upright since he doesn’t like your playlist. It's unlikely you'll be able to change his mind, but a little a capella karaoke should put a smile on his face.
“I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. I don’t care about the present, underneath the Christmas tree.” While keeping your fake microphone close to your mouth, you point at your boyfriend with the same expression as Mariah Carey in the clip. “I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know ! Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you !”
As it is impossible to sing Mariah Carey without playing the diva, you give it your all and when you see George's smile, you do it well. It must be your acting more than the words of love that make him smile like that, it's like he's trying to restrain himself from laughing.
“'Cause I just want you here tonight, holding on to me so tight.” On all fours you come and sit between his legs, facing him. He puts his cold hands on your hips passing them under the elastic of your jogging, a smirk on his lips. You shiver from the sudden cold on your skin but don't stop singing, your face getting closer and closer to his. “What more can I do ? Baby, all I want for Christmas is you ! You, baby.”
He's right in front of you. Your noses are touching, your eyes are immersed in each other and you melt like snow in the sun at the intensity of this moment. Damn you love him.
The hunger in his eyes devours you before his lips reach yours. A passionate, fiery, kiss that will get you high. Your head empties itself of all words and thoughts, your hands naturally place themselves in his hair and behind your closed eyes you imagine his smile, his eyes shining with mischief, his hand holding yours and all those little things that make you fall for him. Over and over again.
Gasping for air, the kiss is stopped. You're almost dizzy, head spinning with butterflies messing around in the belly. Liking George Weasley drives you crazy, there's no telling, you've never felt that way about anyone else. Before him you'd never been that high, you'd never had a simple kiss that made you tremble, you'd never dreamed of spending the rest of your life with someone. George Weasley is the kind of man you should treasure, marry and have as a father to your children. For the simple reason that he will be wonderful in all these roles, with him everyday life will never be boring, he will always have the words to make you laugh or smile. He will give love like no one else to his children, an exemplary father who will take care of his children as if they were the greatest wonders in this world.
You have no doubt about it, your boyfriend will offer a wonderful life to the woman he chooses. That's why you're not going to let him go. Your lover.
You suddenly open your eyes as you feel yourself tilted to the side with George, he's still holding you against him and you land softly on the comforter and pillows. You're lying against each other and George slips one of his legs between yours so that they get tangled up. “Now we’re good darling.” He kisses your forehead and plays with a strand of your hair, it's so peaceful. “I haven't finished the song.” You feel his mouth smiling against your forehead. “Who cares ? Certainly not me, I heard what I needed to hear. I think I understand now.”
“Do you ?”
“Yes, but I still hate Christmas songs.”
You lean on your forearm to look down on him, looking pouty. “C’mon ! You’re overreacting, this song is brand new. It's only been out for a month, you can't already hate it.” He grabs you by the shoulders and applies pressure to force you to lie down, not softened by your pouty air. “You listen to it all the time and if not, you sing it. Believe me, one month is enough to get sick of it.”
After being a diva a few minutes before, you're having fun being a diva again because after all, you can't talk about Mariah like that. And you can't help but defend the honor of your favorite Christmas songs. With a burning gaze, fists on your hips and a somewhat condescending tone, you fight back. “It’s Mariah Carey so it will be a massive hit, I’m sure of it. And at least, I’m sure you will think of me every time you’ll hear this song for the rest of your life.” Smiling at you, he adopts the same facial expression and flutters his eyes saying to you in a sweet voice: “The only way I'm going to hear this song again is from you. It's a Muggle song, no one is going to know it among wizards.”
Rolling on yourself to be flat on your stomach, half on George given the proximity that the bed offers you, you give him a charming wink as you rest your chin on your hands.
“That’s what I’m saying. At the end of each year you will hear this song many, many, many times and you will think of that moment when I sang it to you in your dorm at Hogwarts. You will see the scene again as you hear me singing it from the other side of our house. Because we're going to spend our whole lives together.” Since you're already half on top of him, he has no problem placing you on top of him, kissing both your cheeks and your forehead as you go by, making you giggle. “You’re a genius. You really thought of everything.”
You mess his hair before wedging your head in his neck, breathing in his scent. You smile against his throat and you know him well enough to know that it makes him smile back. “How could I want to live without you ? You know how to make yourself indispensable Georgie, it's almost annoying.” You love it when he runs his hand through your hair, it's the most relaxing thing ever. His other hand traces back and forth in your back, making you a little sleepy. This man knows how to deal with you. “Because you thought you were the only one who thought of everything? I would never let you go.”
If you could stop time and stay like this forever, you would do it without hesitation. You're comfortable in a bed, just the two of you, your hearts are beating at the same rhythm and you're in love. Then it smells like hot chocolate and you've managed to make him smile to a Christmas song. You never want to forget this moment. “Fine by me Georgie.”
You can't resist the temptation to hum Last Christmas, but George's caresses make you fall asleep little by little. You stop before the end of the song and in a few minutes you fall asleep on him. He kisses the top of your head, finding you absolutely adorable. You always manage to fall asleep quickly when you are being tickled, which makes him very tender and amuses him a lot. He often teases you about it, it always annoys you and he finds it even cuter.
Feeling your body rise slightly to the rhythm of your breathing, he starts humming the end of Last Christmas. He takes advantage of you being asleep, so you won't be able to talk to him about it someday. Continuing to run his hand through your hair and humming Christmas music, he smiles as he looks up at the ceiling. You are with him, alone and calm, in perfect harmony and he always liked to feel the beat of your heart when you cuddle. It's that kind of perfect moment. And he wishes it would never end.
#george weasley#george weasley fic#george weasley imagine#george weasley x reader#george weasley fluff#harry potter#christmas#christmas imagine
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My All
Ben Hardy x Reader
Realistic/ Dystopian world, but is it really?
Trigger Warning, Angst, Survival
Please listen to My All by Mariah Carey
A/n: Let me know how are you feeling? Sending much love.
773 words:
“I have a good feeling about this…” Ben lit a cigarette.
“What?” I snuggled my hand in his while walking on the street.
“The lockdown, you see. They are doing it just for their own purpose. They don’t care about the people.” Ben sounded bitter.
“It’s for our own good. It’s called social distancing. Less interaction. Less virus. Easy.” I nodded my head with a smile.
“You’re adorable.” He squeezed my hand with his.
“It’s the truth.” I furrowed your eyebrows sensing irony in the air.
“They never cared about the people, they are doing it so they can earn more money than ever before. They want the whole world in their hands, and to play us like puppets.”
“Ouch, Ben!” I squeaked, pulling off my hand off his.
“Fuck. Sorry, my love.”
“Watch it, the bloody heavens.” I laughed rubbing my wrist.
“Let’s just get some veg and pasta be done with it.” Ben pulled me close before putting down the last of his smoke and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.
Entering the small local grocery shop, I waved to the elder at the counter.
“Hello Mr. Peter, how are you today?” I greeted the old man.
“Always better when you walk in my child.” He smiled big.
“Such a sweet ol man.” I whispered to Ben while counting a few tomatoes.
“And very clean too.” He remarked.
Before I knew it, in a matter of seconds in fact, something happened in that moment in that little shop. Armed policemen barged in and grabbed me and Ben. I screamed, screamed to them to let go of me. Ben tried to fight them, but there were too many of them. I was helpless my body was weak, they ripped us apart and the last I could touch of my boyfriend was our fingers torn different direction. The last sight I saw of him was a blurry vision through tears of my boyfriend trying to fight armed police, screaming my name from the top of his lungs.
I don’t know what happened next, must have been passed out. How long has it been?
I jumped off the bed and looked around. I was in some sort of facility. At that moment I wanted to scream, because I was scared and I had no idea what was going on. But no sound came out of my mouth, all I could do was collapse on the floor and break down in salty burning tears.
“Ben. BEN?BEN!” I tried to speak again, running to every corner of the room.
And then I saw him. He was on the other side of a glass in a room like the one I was is
“BEN!” I cried louder this time banging my fist.
“BEN!” I cried louder when I saw him standing in front of me on the other side.
“Baby.” He cried out, punching the mirror with his fist.
“What’s going on?” I barely spoke.
“Bloody hell, you’re awake…” his hand traced the sight of my face as if he’d stroke my cheek.
“Where are we?” I was a hot mess.
“We’ve been here for days. It’s a hospital.” Ben looked me straight in the eyes.
“We shouldn’t be here. We’re not prisoners!” I gritted my teeth and whined.
“Somebody has reported…”
“No.. no..” I cried louder.
“We’ve been tested positive. Both of us.” Ben squeezed his eyes shut, as he couldn’t bare to look while saying those words.
“No. No. We’re not! We don’t have symptoms, the fuck’s sake!” I had regained the power in my voice.
“There’s no way out.” Ben shook his head.
“Here” he put his palm on the glass.
“Do the same”
I nodded and placed my hand to his. Instead of feeling the warmth of his skin all I felt was the cold glass.
“No matter what happens, remember that I love you.” Ben was all red and in bloody tears.
“I love you too. You’re my all.” I rested my head against the glass.
“I'd give my all to have just one more night with you…” Ben sighed.
“I need your body next to mine…” I closed my eyes.
#ben hardy#ben hardy x reader#ben hardy fanfic#ben hardy fanfiction#ben hardy blurb#ben hardy imagine#ben hardy drabble#ben hardy x I#ben hardy 6 undergorund#ben hardy angst#apocalypse#fksjckk the system#rebellious#we will survive#ben hardy pixie#borhap fanfic#borhap ben hardy#bohemian rhapsody#6 underground#ben hardy au#ben hardy fluff#billy 6 underground#roger taylor#roger taylor imagine#billy 6 underground four#6 underground imagine
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Pure Feeling Playlist
Okay, so I had someone on twitter express interest in the songs I have for my playlist for Pure Feeling and figured, yeah, I could share it. I don’t have a spotify (I don’t like the interface plus the music selection is way too limited for my taste) and the playlist itself is on Youtube Music. It’s also private because I don’t really want random people seeing it or other people messing with it if I unlocked it, so I’ll just type up all the songs here with links that way y’all can scroll through and listen to what you want.
I understand there’s probably an easier and faster way to do this probably, but hey, with the quarantine I clearly have some extra time on my hands so why not?
Though, couple of warnings:
1. It’s LOOOOOOONG (it’s 300+ songs in total) (don’t worry I’m gonna put this under a cut)
2. Some of the songs aren’t going to make much sense in terms of the AU. This is for two reasons: a) Some of the songs allude to events/characters that haven’t shown up in the story yet (there’s a LOT of songs regarding Mara’s father) and b) some of them are just general songs that I use to get a basis of emotion/vibe when writing particular types of scenes.
3. My music tastes are all over the place (and this doesn’t even include some of the other genres I listen to just because it doesn’t fit this AU lol)
But this playlist is my main muse and is probably one of the best insights to my process/inner thoughts so, without further ado.....my full playlist.
(I grouped the songs from the same artist together for the easiest convenience)
(And some songs might kind of be repeats if I listen to multiple versions for the purpose of this fic)
Got any favorites? Any songs that worry you about the future of this fic? Or just something you might want more clarification on? Feel free to shoot me ask about it!
South London Forever by Florence + The Machine
Patricia by Florence + The Machine
I Will Be by Florence + The Machine
Too Much Is Never Enough by Florence + The Machine
You’ve Got The Love by Florence + The Machine
Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine
Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine
Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine
Ship To Wreck by Florence + The Machine
St. Jude by Florence + The Machine
Over The Love by Florence + The Machine
Pure Feeling by Florence + The Machine (hey look it’s the fic title)
Heavy In Your Arms by Florence + The Machine
What Kind Of Man by Florence + The Machine
Stuck On You by Meiko
Stuck On You (Acoustic Version) by Meiko
Adventure of A Lifetime by Coldplay
Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay
Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay
Simple and Clean by Hikaru Utada
Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence - FYI - Hikaru Utada
Be My Last by Hikaru Utada
Colors by Hikaru Utada
Distance (M-Flo Remix) by Hikaru Utada
Without You (Justice Skolnik Remix) by Oh Wonder
Rockabye by Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie
In The Rain (an unofficial rendition from Miraculous Ladybug by David Russell)
Stone Heart (an unofficial rendition from Miraculous Ladybug by sxrlove06)
Lost In The Moment by Daniel Lee Kendall
Fragile by ARCADES
Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood
Scary Love by The Neighbourhood
Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood
Sweater Weather (Vaski Remix) by The Neighbourhood
Honest by The Neighbourhood
Alleyways by The Neighbourhood
Stuck With Me by The Neighbourhood
Lights by Ellie Goulding
Goodness Gracious (The Chainsmokers Remix) by Ellie Goulding
Still Falling For You by Ellie Goulding
Starry Eyed by Ellie Goulding
Don’t Need Nobody by Ellie Goulding
Candy-Coloured Sky by Catmosphere
‘Till We’re In The Sea by RKCB
affection by Jinsang
summers day v2 by Jinsang
Let Go by Frou Frou
Must Be Dreaming by Frou Frou
I Just Want You by Robert Duncan
Forget by Alicks
Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier
Nevermind by Dennis Lloyd
Let It Happen by Tame Impala
Think About You by Kygo ft. Valerie Broussard
First Time by Kygo ft. Ellie Goulding
Fragile by Kygo ft. Labrinth
Feel Your Love by Nyquill
I See You by MISSIO
Learn To Let Go by Kesha
Praying by Kesha
I Love My Life by Justice Crew
Sex by Cheat Codes x Kris Kross Amsterdam
Everlong by Foo Fighters
Party Like It’s Your Birthday by Studio Killers
The Disappearance of The Girl by Phildel
Soul On Fire by Mystery Skulls
we’ve never met but, can we have coffee or something? by in love with a ghost
What is Love? by Y//2//K & Yung Death Ray ft. Jaymes Young
A Manner to Act by Ra Ra Riot
Suckers by Ra Ra Riot
Do You Remember by Ra Ra Riot
You And I Know by Ra Ra Riot
Oh, La by Ra Ra Riot
Can You Tell by Ra Ra Riot
Consequence by The Notwist
Anyone Else by PVRIS
Dead Weight by PVRIS
Can You Hold Me by NF ft. Britt Nicole
Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John
No Fear by Dej Loaf
I’ve Been Waiting by Lil Peep & ILoveMakonnen ft. Fall Out Boy
Give U Up by CALVIN (I’m sorry in advance for this one)
Heartbeat by Scouting For Girls
Keep It Simple by Tove Lo
Sweettalk My Heart by Tove Lo
Glad He’s Gone by Tove Lo
Not On Drugs by Tove Lo
Got Love by Tove Lo
Crave by Tove Lo
Paradise by Tove Lo
Moments by Tove Lo
Talking Body by Tove Lo
Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo
Scars by Tove Lo
Out Of Your Mind by Tove Lo
Vibes by Tove Lo
Lies In The Dark by Tove Lo
Come Undone by Tove Lo
dont ask dont tell by Tove Lo
Cherry Blossom by ALA.NI
Feels Like Home by The Him ft. Son Mieux
Quiet by Lights
Skydiving by Lights
365 by Zedd & Katy Perry
Left to Right by Marteen
Could You Love Me? by Black Saint
Midnight City by M83
Marble Soda by Shawn Wasabi
Crystal Dolphin by Engelwood
Pusher (Shawn Wasabi Remix) by Clear ft. Mothica
She’s A Riot by The Jungle Giants
Stranger by Jay Hayden & King Vodka
Now That I’ve Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen
Marty McFly by Luke Christopher
Rocks by Imagine Dragons
All Day And Night by Jax Jones ft. Madison Beer & Martin Solveig
Run Free by Deep Chills ft. IVIE
Maps by Maroon 5
Feelings by Maroon 5
blue by Pools
High Hopes (The Lucifer Edit) by Quails
breathin’ by Ariana Grande
Into You by Ariana Grande
Shy Girl by Kedam
Something Good Can Work by Two Door Cinema Club
What You Know by Two Door Cinema Club
Sleep Alone by Two Door Cinema Club
This Is The Life by Two Door Cinema Club
Do You Want It All? by Two Door Cinema Club
Sun by Two Door Cinema Club
Eat That Up, It’s Good For You by Two Door Cinema Club
Undercover Martyn by Two Door Cinema Club
Sunflower by Post Malone & Swan Lee
Señorita by Shawn Medes & Camila Cabello
Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie
Everybody’s Angel by Down With Webster
All Fall Down by OneRepublic
Counting Stars by OneRepublic
HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T by Fall Out Boy
Jenny by Walk The Moon
Youth by Daughter
Get Lucky (Cover) by Daughter
Love by Daughter
River Flows In You by Yiruma
Girls And Boys In School by Neon Trees
Girls And Boys In School (EP Version) by Neon Trees
Helpless by Neon Trees
In The Next Room by Neon Trees
Beings by Madeon
Dried-Out Cities by Fallulah
Bloodline by Fallulah
Almost Home by Mariah Carey
Headlock by Imogen Heap
Closing In by Imogen Heap
Lifeline by Imogen Heap
Goodnight And Go by Imogen Heap
First Train Home by Imogen Heap
I Am In Love With You by Imogen Heap
The Walk by Imogen Heap
More by Kaskade & Felix Cartal ft. Jenn Blosil
Lay Down by Kaskade & Late Night Alumni
My Distance by Kaskade
Lessons In Love by Kaskade ft. Neon Trees
Kill The Lights (Audien Remix) by Alex Newell ft. DJ Cassidy, Nile Rogers, & Jess Glynne
Fall In Love/Lie by INNA
Cola Song by INNA
Caliente by INNA
Iguana by INNA
Ruleta by INNA ft. Erik
I Like You by INNA
Love by INNA
Shining Star by INNA
Bebe by INNA
Bebe (Yaniss Extended Remix) by INNA
Better Not by Louis The Child ft. Wafia
Living Island by Pogo
Still Into You by Paramore
Hard Times by Paramore
Emergency by Paramore
Ignorance by Paramore
I Caught Myself by Paramore
Letting Go by HERB x Kendall Miles
To Be Human by Sia ft. Labrinth
Big Girls Cry (ODESZA Remix) by Sia
Elastic Heart by Sia
Angel By The Wings by Sia
If You Didn’t See Me (Then You Weren’t On The Dancefloor) by Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.
Butterfly In The Still by Iwasaki Taku
Dare (La La La) by Shakira
Me Enamore by Shakira
Loca by Shakira ft. Dizzee Rascal
Te Aviso, Te Anuncio (Tango) by Shakira
Addicted To You by Shakira
Whenever, Wherever by Shakira
When A Woman by Shakira
Can’t Remember To Forget You by Shakira ft. Rihanna
Better Than Yesterday by HollySiz
This is What You Came For by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna
Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch
Rain by Pueblo Vista ft. .Eehlou & Shiloh Dynasty
G.B.D. Pressure (Extended) by Chillster
Valentine by Aether ft. Veela
Lemme See by Usher ft. Rick Ross
Promises by Aly & AJ
Like Whoa by Aly & AJ
Silence by Aly & AJ
Find A Way by Safety Suit
Ordinary Day by Emilie Mover
Green Light by Lorde
Don’t Feel Like Crying (MK Remix) by Sigrid
Crazy in Love by EDEN ft. Leah Kelly
Broken Girl by Matthew West
Crazy in Love by Sofia Karlberg
This Is What Makes Us Girls (The Confect Remix) by Lana del Rey
1901 by Phoenix
Lisztomania by Phoenix
Please Don’t Touch by RAYE
Island In The Sun by Weezer
God Is A Dancer by Tiesto & Mabel
Tighten Up by The Black Keys
Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys
Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups
Don’t Play by Halsey
Bad At Love by Halsey
Young God by Halsey
Now Or Never by Halsey
Hurricane by Halsey
Drive by Halsey
Eyes Closed by Halsey
Eyes Closed (Stripped) by Halsey
Haunting by Halsey
Strangers by Halsey ft. Lauren Jauregui
100 Letters by Halsey
Ghost by Halsey
Break A Sweat by Becky G
Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men
I wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red
Run by Alison Wonderland
I Want U by Alison Wonderland
Peace by Alison Wonderland
Peace (Acoustic) by Alison Wonderland
Dead To Me by Kali Uchis
Good Enough by Evanescence
Go Slow by Gorgon City & Kaskade ft. Romeo
Feel Good Inc by filous & LissA
All I Need by Within Temptation
A Lot Like Love (Oliver Heldens Edit) by The Voyagers ft. Haris
Hideaway by Kiesza
Memories by KSHMR ft. Sirah
American Sadness by XYLO
One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks
Your Shirt by Chelsea Cutler
Hope Of Morning by Icon For Hire
Collect Call by Metric
Flowers On The Grave (Acoustic) by The Maine
Fabulous by Ally Brooke
Falling (blackbear Remix) by Trevor Daniel
You by Petit Biscuit
Unlove You (Drop G Remix) by Armin van Burren ft. Ne-Yo
Formation (R-TRAX Trap Remix) by Beyonce
Schoolin’ Life by Beyonce
Simmer by Hayley Williams
Ruby by Foster The People
Moral Of The Story by Ashe
Colorblind (Left/Right Remix) by Karma Fields ft. Tove Lo
Don’t Stop The Music by Jamie Cullum
Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant
Don’t Stop the Fancy Footwork (Chromeo vs. Rihanna)
She Wolf (Falling To Pieces) by David Guetta ft. Sia
Slow Burn by Audiograf
Write My Story by Olly Anna
1 Thing by Amerie
I Like That by Janelle Monae
Your Favorite Place by Joey Pecoraro
Beauty Mark by Parov Stelar ft. Anduze
Dead Hearts by Stars
Change of Seasons (EP Version) by Sweet Thing
Larger Than Life by Pink Zebra ft. Benji Jackson
Are You With Me (Pretty Pink Remix) by Lost Frequencies
Nothing But by Skin
In Common (Kenny Dope Remix) by Alicia Keys
Resonance by HOME
All Stars by Martin Solveig ft. ALMA
Lavender’s Blue Dilly Dilly [From the Cinderella (2015) OST]
Besame Mucho by Jorge Blanco
Touch You Right Now by Basic Element
Dinero by Trinidad
Icon (Reggaeton Remix) by Jaden Smith ft. Nicky Jam & Will Smith
Make Me Sweat by Kat DeLuna
Sombredosis by Kat DeLuna ft. El Cata
Real Love by Memory Tapes
Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko
This Side Of Paradise by Hayley Kiyoko
Wanna Be Missed by Hayley Kiyoko
Gravel To Tempo by Hayley Kiyoko
Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko
Fiesta (Remix) by Bombe Estereo ft. Will Smith
Love by TeZATalks
Had by TeZATalks
Heal by Loreen
Analyser by AlunaGeorge
Attracting Flies by AlunaGeorge
Damaged by Plummet
My Kind by Hilary Duff
Sparks by Hilary Duff
Talk by DJ Snake ft. George Maple
First summer without you by Outgoing Hikikomori
First birthday without you by Outgoing Hikikomori
2 Heads by Coleman Hell
Mathematics by Little Boots
Hearts Collide by Little Boots
Meddle by Little Boots
Parachute by Cheryl Cole
When she went away by Max Richter
When she came back by Max Richter
Who Knew by Pink
Lash Out by Alice Merton
Back To The Start by Mr. Little Jeans
Perfecto. by Ayo. & .Disfnk ft. Daniela Andrade
service by j^p^n
I’m In Love Again by tomppabeats
Close by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo
Falling Apart by Michael Schulte
Dusk ‘Til Dawn by ZAYN ft. Sia
Pillowtalk by ZAYN
Minimal Beat by Lindsey Stirling
Perfect Illusion by Lady Gaga
Do I Wanna Know? (Cover) by CHVRCHES
La Familia (Guy Sigsworth Remix) by Mirah
Broken Parts by The Ready Set & Mokita
Invisible Chains by Lauren Jauregui
Lonely Gun by CYN
Cartier by Dopebwoy ft. 3robi & Chivv
Boss Bitch by Doja Cat
#1#2#3#4#5#pure feeling#ash writes#pure feeling playlist#playlist#if some of these links are wrong or repeat forgive me#I wasn't about to go through and double check them all#if nothing else you have the titles and these are all on youtube#will probably be adding onto this as I add more songs to my playlist#so I just realized that the links aren't showing up for some reason on the published post#even though when I went to edit they're still there???#I'm very sorry about that#just copy and paste into youtube I guess?
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i’ll give it to someone special [david x patrick]
AN ~ a belated prompt fill @just-a-funny-little-brain and @schittposting, ft. shameless fluff, mutual pining, Mariah Carey, and a slightly warped UA timeline for S3 because i do what i want. enjoy!!
"You made me a Christmas playlist but it’s just Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is you”. I can’t tell if you’re hitting on me or if it’s a joke." and "I was putting up Christmas lights, and I literally fell into your arms" from this OTP Advent prompt list
Read on AO3 (~2300 words). David x Patrick, David & Stevie
i’ll give it to someone special
When decorating, it was no secret that David Rose was an advocate of “if you want something done right, do it yourself.” This went double for the holiday season; with bright, clashing colour schemes in abundance, there was too much potential for a garish, tasteless disaster for him to allow an amateur to take over. He had a business and a reputation to maintain after all – plus, it was either this or the end-of-year budget review, so really, the jobs divided themselves.
At least, they did until the bell rung.
“Patrick!” David called, so that he wouldn’t have to be deterred from his process, not to mention make the inelegant descent from the stepladder in front of a member of the public. “Pat– oh, it’s just you.”
Stevie fixed him with a sardonic glare.
“And a happy Hanukkah to you too.”
David rolled his eyes, and made a point of turning his back to Stevie and continuing to thread out the fairy lights as she made her way further into the store. But he couldn’t quite turn all his attention back to the task at hand – especially not once she passed the counter behind him, and made a curious humming sound.
“What’s this?” she wondered, and David pretended he couldn’t hear the scandalous intrigue in her tone.
“Patrick and I exchanged some small gifts,” he explained matter-of-factly, “to celebrate our first holiday season together – as the store.”
“Uh huh.” Stevie was audibly unconvinced.
“Excuse you, Christmas is a busy time for retail,” David scolded, whipping around and rocking the step-ladder – damn, he’d forgotten it was missing a foot. But he pinched a nearby shelf, righted himself, cleared his throat and did his best to continue as if his blunder had never happened. “It’s important to keep up morale.”
Somehow, Stevie kept a straight face. “Morale.”
“Yes.”
“So, Patrick made you a mix tape… for morale?”
“… Yes.”
“Great! Let’s listen to it then, shall we? For your morale.”
Stevie’s eyes were fixed on David’s as she pulled the CD slowly from its case and slipped it into the side of David’s computer. David knew she was challenging him, but what could he do, object? She already knew he doth protest too much when it came to Patrick, but if he had any chance of coming out of this relationship – by which of course he meant this business relationship - without a broken heart, he couldn’t afford to stoke the fire. And apparently, there was no way he could so much as flinch on this infernal step ladder without shaking the whole damned thing and giving himself away, so though his heart clenched with a dizzyingly cruel hope that the mix tape might open with some kind of confession, he stood stock-still. Waited. Until those precious, familiar xylophone tones began to chime.
“I-I-I-I… don’t want a lot for Christmas…”
His heart almost buckled with relief. Stevie smiled slightly.
“The man’s got taste,” she praised. More sarcasm? David wasn’t sure.
“He’s learning,” he replied, and turned his back to her again to continue with the work she had so rudely interrupted. If he had to press his lips tight to keep from smiling, so be it.
-
“Patrick!” David called from the front room. “Pat-“
He cut himself off, falling to a mumble that was too muffled by the distance and the walls between them to make out. Whatever he had said was met with a flat, but equally muffled reply from what Patrick had long since learned was Stevie’s voice. Part of him wanted to pop out and say hi, but their Q4 turnover was hard to keep up with… and then, any hopes of getting up the courage to leave the back room fizzled when the first notes of All I Want for Christmas started playing.
Patrick took a deep breath, and tried not to think about David. Tried not to think about his hearteningly curious reception of the CD, or the way he had spent most of the morning checking that every Santa hat in the store was quirkily off-kilter by just the right amount, or how much Patrick longed to watch his shy and uptight business partner let loose and belt out some Mariah already.
No, he wasn’t thinking about that. They might not even be listening to his CD. Maybe they had just pulled up the song on Youtube or Spotify or something; surely, it was a Rose family staple after all.
Patrick, well, Patrick was just inputting the numbers. Into the spreadsheet. Putting that number… into that box… or- wait – was it that number? Was it that box? The data seemed to swim before his eyes as his heart began to race. The first rendition was ending and… yes, there it was, beginning again.
He got out of the chair and began to pace. His mind turned irretrievably to David. To the moment he had first realised he might have begun to like David. To the early mornings in his car letting the freezing air in to try and shock his system into figuring this damn thing out. To the hot flushes he got when he thought about wanting to kiss those pouting lips, or linger in a hug, or pull one of those damned sweaters over David’s head and lift up his shirt and –
And, well, he had to start somewhere, and for some ungodly reason the Spirit of Christmas had inspired him to pick here. With a plan that now that he thought about it, couldn’t have been any more impossibly vague if he’d tried. He could hear David and Stevie talking now under the music. Were they figuring it out? Were they wondering if it was a glitch? A mistake? At first, he’d thought being able to play this thing off as a joke would have been an advantage. Now, the thought that David might not understand – that he might have another… however long, to wait, before he got up the courage to reveal himself again in a more obvious way – if he were being honest, it was kind of killing him.
“Maybe I should just tell him,” he whispered to himself.
It didn’t sound that ridiculous out loud.
-
“Okay,” Stevie announced, when the song began for the third time. “I love ya, Mariah, but three times is too many.”
“My store, my rules,” David corrected.
“My finger on the play button,” Stevie pointed out, and pulled up a new playlist in the online search bar. The synthesiser intro of Wham’s 1984 pop classic Last Christmas started up and she smiled as David groaned out loud.
Then she peered at the track list of Patrick’s alleged ‘mix’ CD, scrolling all the way down, and noticed – “Hey, I think this whole thing is Mariah Carey.”
“Of course it is. Because she’s amazing, and Patrick is very attentive.”
“No, I mean, every single song on here is All I Want for Christmas. There’s like… fifteen of them. Look.”
She picked up the laptop and carried it over to David, frowning. David glanced over her shoulder toward the back room. Could Patrick hear them? Did he know? Had he done this on purpose?
“Maybe it’s like, a mistake. The CD’s glitching or something,” Stevie suggested. “How up to date is your software?”
“Maybe he’s… making fun of me.” Something felt hollow in his chest at the thought.
“That doesn’t sound very Patrick-y,” Stevie pointed out. “Maybe… he likes you.”
“Oh, pfft.”
“I mean, come on, a mix tape?”
“Um, I don’t think so. We’ve been over this, remember? He’s a baseball-playing, denim-wearing, straight, guy, okay, and I’ve developed enough crushes on straight guys to know how this works.”
“Did… any of those straight guys give you a mix tape full of Mariah Carey singing about how much she wants you?”
He couldn’t even will up a scoff to retort to that, and Stevie raised a confident eyebrow.
“’cause, I mean,” she continued, “most of the uh, ‘baseball playing denim wearing straight’ guys I know don’t like Mariah Carey. Or at least, they wouldn’t be caught dead admitting to another human being that they know who she is.”
“That’s not-“ David blundered, “Music doesn’t- Patrick doesn’t-“
But he couldn’t get out of his head, how deliberate Patrick was. The man thought about everything, and when he wanted something, he went for it. Researched intensively, but went for it. David admired that about his business acumen, as well as for general personality-having purposes – it was one of the reasons they balanced each other out so well – but more than anything, that told him it wasn’t a mistake. Patrick liked music, and he liked genuine connection. He would have sat there all night if that’s what it took to put together a CD, Christmas-themed or otherwise. And if the CD was glitching, the track list wouldn’t show every song the same. And if it was a joke, Patrick probably would have got David to play it in front of him, maybe tried to make him sing along.
And if none of this meant anything, Patrick wouldn’t be standing in the doorway on his way from the storeroom, trying to look determined and yet shaking like a leaf.
“Da- David,” he managed at last. “Can I talk to you?”
“That’s my cue,” Stevie murmured, and pulled back to escape the conversation. In her haste, she caught herself in the string of lights that was currently knotted between David’s fingers, and pulled. He yelped and pivoted to try and keep up and she panicked as the step ladder began to fall under the rapid change of weight. All of a sudden it was too late to untangle and there was no way of helping David without sacrificing the laptop, not that she could think of fast enough anyway, so Stevie cowered out of the way and clenched her eyes shut and hoped it wouldn’t end in disaster.
It didn’t. At least, the crashing sound wasn’t quite as horrendous as she’d thought and wasn’t followed by the string of cursing she expected from the upturned David Rose. She cracked an eye open (maybe he was fine, but maybe he’d cracked his head on a display table, was she ready for that?) and found –
And found Patrick had rushed forward at the last minute, and David had all but face-planted straight into his arms. David’s feet were still not quite under him, and he gazed up at Patrick with big, wide eyes in bewildered, vulnerable admiration. Patrick, for his part, was looking down at David in a stunned sort of silence, with a blush so furious it was colouring his ears, and yet there was tenderness in his expression and his hand on David’s back was so gentle and soft, Stevie could hardly look. Did they even know she was still here?
“Uh… thuh… thanks,” David managed at last, once his tongue started working again. His heart hammered against Patrick’s chest, and Patrick’s was hammering back.
“No problem,” Patrick said, and there was more, so much more on the tip of his tongue. His lips struggled to form the words. I like you, I want to kiss you. I want you right now. It sounded so childish, so far short of capturing the overwhelming feelings that seized him. And maybe he would have gone another however long without saying anything at all, if it weren’t for the fact that David chose now of all moments to ask –
“Was there, um, something you wanted to tell me?”
He looked… hopeful? Patrick hardly dared hope back. But David was smiling. He knew.
And when Patrick took a chance and seized his jittering confidence with both hands and closed the distance between them, David kissed back with a yearning that had been screaming to break out of his chest since the moment they’d met. Patrick could hardly believe the energy of it. It felt… like fireworks. Like a moment suspended in time. Like everything he’d ever been told this moment was supposed to feel like.
Then David’s lips were suddenly falling away from his. He’d tried to move his arms, forgetting that his feet weren’t yet on solid ground, and now the string of curses fell from his lips as he tumbled to the ground, hit his elbow with a crack on the nearby table, and rolled onto his back.
“Mother…” he groaned.
And yet still, he was smiling.
Because Patrick had caught him. Patrick had kissed him.
Patrick.
David opened his eyes, and looked up at the poor man, who had blanched white as a sheet as his somehow-perfect moment had come crashing down around him.
“Um, so, I- I like you,” Patrick explained. “That’s what I wanted to say.”
“Yeah, no, I got that,” David agreed, reflecting on the breathlessness in his chest. He could do that again. A few dozen more times.
“Can I help you up?”
“Yeah. Yes. Let’s do that.”
David tried not to stare at Patrick’s shoulder as Patrick offered a hand, and lifted him to his feet. He didn’t try very hard, to be fair.
“Can I buy you dinner?” Patrick asked.
“I would like that.”
“Huh.” Patrick smiled. He was on a roll. The whole thing felt rather dizzying, but it was all so much easier than he’d expected. Although, he wasn’t exactly sure what to do next. Kiss David again? They were at work, and he hadn’t exactly recovered from the first time. But he couldn’t go back to the spreadsheets now. Sure, they were important, but they weren’t like this. He had way too much energy all of a sudden, and a craving to run up a mountain.
But a quiet clearing of a throat interrupted his grander plans. Both Patrick and David turned to the sound, to find Stevie standing gingerly amidst a tangle of fairy lights, which seemed to tie her every movement either to the stepladder, or to the two large bookshelves on either side of her.
“Uh, congratulations and all,” she said as meekly as possible, “but before you guys split, could you help me out?”
#david rose x patrick brewer#david x patrick#david & stevie#schitt's creek#schitt's creek fic#clara's fic tag#christmas#hanukkah
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Bon Iver: A Retrospective
I think it’s fair to say that, after 10 Years, 4 albums, and 1 EP, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver has established a formula. Not in the traditional sense, bands like Fleetwood Mac or Maroon 5 are well known for having formulas, but in the sense that his music tends to be about the same thing. Whether the stripped back, wintery beauty of For Emma, Forever Ago, or the electronic chaos of 22, A Million, Vernon trains his lyrical camera entirely on himself. Emma is about his failings as a lover, Blood Bank is about recalling the good times, Self Titled is about his past as viewed through age and significant dates. 22 is about his longing to grow past his current place, and his latest album, 2019’s i,i, is about finally coming home.
We begin our tour with For Emma, Forever Ago, the demo tape that was so good it was pretty much released as is. The story behind Bon Iver’s debut is so poetic, it is told over and over again in the band’s mythology. After a particularly difficult run of Irish luck in which his former band, DeYarmond Edison, broke up, his girlfriend left him, and he contracted a one two punch of pneumonia and mono, he sequestered himself in a cabin in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, and wrote and recorded For Emma over the course of one very intense winter. He submitted the demo tape to the indie album Jagjaguar, where it was immediately accepted and sent to print with very minor revisions to add extra instrumentation and clean up the mix. The album opens with the beautifully atmospheric Flume, a bare guitar emphasized by snowy static and Vernon’s clear, bell like voice. “I am my mother’s only one”, he mournfully cries, “It’s enough.” The main idea contained throughout the album is loneliness, and the album’s mix as well as its lyrics go a long way to establishing this theme. The two standout tracks for establishing this mood the most potently are the third track, Skinny Love, where Vernon laments a love that simply is not going to plan, and the album closer, Re:Stacks, a mournful ballad about being unable to move forward despite being already packed. It’s no surprise that this track would end pretty much every early Bon Iver show. This is not to say that the album is entirely without lushness; the side 1 closer The Wolves Pt II is a textbook example of how to build a crescendo in a folk song, showing off Vernon’s aptitude for mood that would become fully fleshed out in later releases. In retrospect, For Emma is an incredibly strong debut and an album that works well as a thesis for the later parts of the band’s career.
Following the relatively minor release Blood Bank, a 4 track EP that is only notable for the song Woods, a track built entirely out of acapella autotuned vocals and a track that gained the notice of Kanye West, Vernon and his entourage recorded and released Bon Iver’s self titled album in 2011. This album marked a sea change in the way that Vernon approached the project. As opposed to the quiet, stripped back sound of For Emma, the self titled album is lush, full sounding, and packed with swelling crescendos and massive climaxes, as if Sigur Ros decided to make folk music. Tracks such as the beautiful, soaring Perth and the subtle, yet beautiful Michican’t do a great job at providing a lush, pillowy bed of sound that you can just lie in. However, the true standout of the album is the closing track, Beth Rest, which adds a new toolkit to the Bon Iver sound; electronics. Granted, these are 1980s power electronics, but they are electronics none the less. Vernon also goes one step further and blankets his voice in copius amounts of autotune. The result is something beautiful, yet distant. As Vernon puts it, “It is the sound of doing something you want to do with absolutely no restraint.” Bon Iver would go on to be Justin Vernon’s first true success with the group, earning him critical accolades and a truly wide audience, which resulted in him being nominated for, and subsequently winning, the best new artist grammy award in 2011. Personally, I feel that Bon Iver is the moment when the group truly found its sound, grandiosity and beauty, but filtered through reality and experience.
After the wild success that the self titled album brought him, Vernon put the project on indefienate hold. He stated that he wanted to decompress for a while and for that to happen, Bon Iver had to take a break. He didn’t know when, or if, the project would return, and many fans feared the breakup of the band. During this time, he would only release an itunes session of material from the self titled albums, but no new songs were released. During this time, he would help Kanye West record two albums, and would work on several side projects. Bon Iver returned in 2016 with 22, A Million, by far the projects’ most ambitious output and it’s most musically dense. In a strange move for a folk act, the album contains almost no acoustic instruments. The album is as lush and beautiful as the self titled album that made the project famous, but takes that lushness in a different, icier direction. Songs like “22 (OVER S∞∞N)" and, "10 d E A T h b R E a s T ⚄ ⚄" reveal a sharper, more electronic form of songwriting. Comparisons to Everything in it’s Right Place and The National Anthem off of Radiohead’s Kid A are only too easy to make. However, this is not to say that all feeling has been drained from the record; tracks such as 29 Stafford Appts. and 8 (Circle) are only too happy to indulge in the previous beauty of earlier releases, with saxophone arrangements by Sad Sax of Shit soaring above Vernon’s autotuned vocals. 22, A Million is a mixed bag of an album. Certain tracks such as the aforementioned 10, are too dense and difficult for me to truly enjoy, but the album makes a brilliant case for the new direction of the band. I was left disappointed, but excited to see where the group would go next.
Thankfully for fans who embraced this new direction, Vernon was much quicker on the draw for his next album. In 2019, when Bon Iver released their fourth album I,i, which feels, for all intents and purposes, like a refinement of what Vernon tried on 22, A Million. Tracks such as iMi and Holyfields feel like a softer, easier listen than most of the material on 22, A Million. The instrumentation feels more controlled, tighter written than what we saw on his previous efforts. There is little that sounds accidental, especially when compared to For Emma, which is an album nearly full of accident. However, this precision does not mean that Vernon sacrifices any of his songwriting beauty. Hey, ma, and U (man like) is one of the best one two punches in modern folk. Hey, ma is a lush, dense electronic song about forgetting your roots. “Tall time to talk your money up while it’s living in a coal mine” chastises Vernon, speaking to someone whose dreams are, perhaps, too big for their small pocketbook. U (man like) is about improving yourself through constant work and effort. I,i feels like a fitting bookend to Bon Iver’s current discography. It is Vernon’s most carefully crafted album but also one of his most obviously personal. There is little that you cannot feel as Vernon does on this album.
There is this idea in music criticism called the best new artist’s curse. The idea is that the best new artist’s Grammy award for any particular year usually goes to flash in the pan artists who end up not contributing anything and flaming out after one album. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but for every Beatles and Mariah Carey, there is at least five Starlight Vocal Bands. It is my personal belief that the indie music scene is better for Justin Vernon not being one of these artsits. Bon Iver has accomplished much over it’s decade long existance, and Vernon has established himself as one of the premiere artists of indie folk. Not a flash in the pan, but one of the most brilliant songwriters of our generation.
#bon iver#justin vernon#for emma forever ago#22 a million#retrospective#indie folk#review#the music view
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Scorpion / Drake Album Review
On the 29th of June 2018 Drake released his highly anticipated double album Scorpion. Whilst Side A is mainly rap orientated and features some incredible bangers, Side B is more R&B and it gets real emotional real fast. The two sides represent angry/bitter Drake vs self searching Drake. The album is definitely drama orientated as Drake recognises how much his music is analysed. He takes this and makes it his own to create a stand out album that will have people talking for years to come.
SIDE A
“Survival”
“Survival”, the first track on the album is about Drake’s career and his rap game (“House on both coasts but I live on the charts”). He talks about being independent from his label and his beef with other rappers (potentially Meek Mill and Diddy). This song introduces us to the album and lets us know that he will dive into the drama (“Now I gotta deal with all this drama and deal with myself”). The electronic tones over the beat along with the pure passive aggressive rap verse create an intriguing intro to this album (“This just the intro, let me not get ahead of myself”).
“Nonstop”
On this track, Drake praises his own abilities as a rapper and talks about the behind the scenes of being a musician (“I can’t go in public like a civilian for real”). The hook of the song is sampled from a Memphis Tape from 1995 by Mack Daddy Ju and D.J. Squeeky. The rapping on this track is insane as it should be when you’re rapping about how good you are at rapping…(“Money for revenge, man, that’s hardly an expense”). The song has an enriching deep bass with a serious bounce and Drake’s flow on this track has me seriously excited for the rest of the album.
“Elevate”
“Elevate” is about Drake looking back on his accomplishments and what he has done for his friends and family but also wanting to pursue more in life (“I’m in bed awake, thinkin’ how’d I make, all this happen for myself and my family”). One of the more pulsing beats of any of the tracks on the album and some in depth lyrics (“I wanna thank God for workin’ way harder than Satan”). Although it has a slow start this track just gets better as the song goes on.
“Emotionless”
Wow this song had me speechless first listen. “Emotionless” is the first song on the album where Drake acknowledges his son (“I wasn’t hidin’ my kid from the world I was hidin’ the world from my kid”). This is a response to Pusha T’s diss track of Drake. Drake also addresses this social media obsessed society that we live in (“I know a girl whose one goal was to visit Rome then she finally got to Rome and all she did was post pictures for people at home, cause all that mattered was impressin’ everybody she’s known”). The choral singing by Mariah Carey at the start of the song is impressive and surprising and when the beat comes in you know it’s going to be a good song. The lyrics in this song are the best so far and this track was instantly one of my favourites when I first listened to the album.
“God’s Plan”
“God’s Plan” was the first song released from the album and it definitely paved way for Drake’s ongoing success. The song addresses how being in the music industry means people want him to fail but he knows that God won’t let that happen (“I see the things that they wishin’ on me”). He also talks about the struggle of finding legit friends in the industry as most people who enter his life have a motive to benefit themselves. Another topic of the song is Drake honoring his old life before his success. The song is a feel good track with an enticing beat and potentially the most iconic lyrics of the entire album…(“She said ‘do you love me?’ I tell her ‘only partly’, I only love my bed and my momma I’m sorry”). Drake used the $996,631.00 budget for the music video to donate to families, schools and charities.
“I’m Upset”
Potentially the most basic lyrics from the album, Drake in “I’m Upset” addresses how he thinks he needs to protect his money from the women in his life (“I’m a always take the money over sex, that’s why they need me out the way, what you expect?”). Another song playing to his ego and stressing about the problems of being rich although it has interesting relevance after the track “Emotionless”.
“8 out of 10”
On “8 Out of 10” Drake talks about his life at the moment and how he realises that people will always judge and criticise him but he knows that he is still a success (“Your sister is pressin’ play, your trainer is pressin’ play, your wifey your wifey your wifey your wifey - (true)”). This track has an intriguing beat with enticing background vocals…(“I don’t like to talk when there’s nothin’ else left to say”). The song mentions his son once again and is a representation of Drake overcoming criticism to continue releasing bangers.
“Mob Ties”
“Mob Ties” is Drake’s way of severing ties with people who have betrayed him and people who have criminal pasts. The piano sample is from “Affirmative Action” by Nas’ Mafioso and it reminds me of a Linkin Park song for some reason or the background of a mafia movie. The chorus of this song is by far the best part and the tune is one that has been stuck in my head for days (“It’s too late for all that lovey-dovey shit, I’m your brother shit, all that other shit”).
“Can’t Take a Joke”
In “Can’t Take a Joke”, Drake addresses his life as a celebrity as he is living in Hidden Hills, always taking vacations and hanging with friends who ‘can’t take a joke’ (“If they come to Hidden Hills then I know they know the deal”). He stresses about not wanting to fuel the fire with his haters but also he knows that he can’t just sit back. This song continues the themes from “I’m Upset”. Drake’s rap game in this track is strooooong. His strong flow and unusual tempo makes this track unique and it is definitely one of my favourites from the album..(“and I gotta own the things I rap about just for my pride, you know when it comes to pride I can’t put that shit aside”).
“Sandra’s Rose”
“Sandra’s Rose” is about how fame has affected Drake’s life. It is about the money and the girls and how he gets discredited for it (“I’m standin’ at the top of where you n***** are climbin’ to reach, I even got my very own initials inscribed on my sheets”). ‘Sandra’s Rose’ could refer to himself as his mother’s name is Sandra and she used to be a florist (“My mother had a flower shop, but I was Sandra’s Rose”). The lyrics in this track are very in-depth (“Bury me and I’ll be born again, I walk in godly form amongst the mortal men”) and even include a reference to the B side of the album (“Spoiler alert: the second act is tragic”). This song is fill of cold lyrics and soulful background vocals.
“Talk Up”
“Talk Up” is about the road Drake took to get to his success (“My money is young, my problems are old I promise I’m bridgin’ the gap”). Jay-Z raps about his experiences as a rapper (“Already a hood legend, I ain’t need no shine”). The collaboration with Jay-Z is an interesting surprise and is definitely impressive as he manages to reference Donald Trump, Kanye West and the death of XXXtentacion in one verse. This is particularly surprising seeing as XXXtentacion only died last week. The beat in this song is on fire and the rap is definitely a favourite among many Drake and Jay-Z fans.
“Is There More”
On “Is There More” Drake addresses how he is more than just a rapper but at the same time he questions what this ‘more’ is (“Is there more to life than digits and bankin’ accounts? Is there more to life than sayin’ I figured it out?”). The song includes some ambient sounds in the background, reflecting a seek for purpose and Nai Palm ends the song. The song shows Drake’s powerful rapping skills and the lyrics are a lot to unpack. The track is the last song on Side A which is mostly rap songs about his fame and success and it preludes to the Side B where we glimpse into this life Drake has that he doesn’t rap about.
Side A
Wow Side A is definitely my favourite side of the album and I am very very impressed. It is a representation of ‘Drake the rapper’ as he gets angry and vents about his way to success and reflects on his life. The lyrics definitely play to Drake’s ego as he brags about his success. In these twelve songs, Drake shows all sides of himself and proves his rap game is better than ever. The deep bass beats, strong vocal flow and lyrics that make me speechless make this the best we have seen from Drake.
SIDE B
“Peak”
On “Peak” Drake discusses his failed relationships that reached their ‘peak’ and then didn’t work out. He refers a lot to British culture, hinting that the girl he is talking about is British (“England breeds proper girls”). The song has mellow electronic sounds that remind me of “Marvin’s Room” and it introduces the Side B of the album as the more R&B side. The outro of the song is Stefflon Don, Vinessa Douglas and Rhea Kpaka. Overall a rather underwhelming start to the second half of the album.
“Summer Games”
“Summer Games” slows the tempo down as Drake addresses his heartbreak that occurred during the summer. Drake states in a very obvious way that the girl said ‘I love you’ too early and he wasn’t ready for the commitment (“You said ‘I love you’ too fast, so much for that, girl, summer just started and we’re already done”). He also addresses the effects of the internet in relationships (“You say I led you on but you followed me, I follow one of your friends you unfollow me”). The song has a very vintage electronic groove with deep synth sounds.
“Jaded”
“Jaded” is referring to the idea of being overworked or having too much of something (“Always felt like stickin’ round’s the same as being stuck”). Some believe this track is about Jorja Smith who is a bit younger than Drake (“Differences in ages, you’re old enough but you’re still a baby”). Drake is singing a lot more on this track but the song just seems like a filler song and it does not stand out. The deep bass drums and synth overlays help pick it up however (“Yes I’m hurting, yes I’m Jaded”).
“Nice For What”
After three slow dragging songs, Side B has finally turned up with “Nice For What”. “Nice For What” is a love letter to the women in his life as Drake addresses female empowerment. He knows what women go through in this digital age and the resistance they are met with but he wants them to know that he understands and appreciates them (“I’ve been peepin’ what you bringin’ to the table, workin’ hard girl everything paid for”). The pre-chorus and chorus is sung by Lauryn Hill and she definitely heightens the song (“Care for me, care for me, you said you’d care for me”). Also Leticia Wright is the one who says (“Watch the breakdown”). This upbeat number is an attempt to celebrate all the women who are suffering and their hard work (“You know dark days, you know hard times”). The fantastic R&B beat, the crisp drums and empathetic lyrics create a R&B spectacle I can’t get enough of.
“Finesse”
“Finesse” is about a woman in Drake’s life who he would rather have a kid with than his son’s real mother, Sophie Brussaux (“I want my baby to have your eyes”). The harmonies in this song are impressive and the hook is enticing. The slow R&B chorus and Drake’s voice dragging the notes creates a rather unique song with a haunting beat (“Can’t be in a room with you and stand on differents sides, you stay on my mind”).
“Ratchet Happy Birthday”
This track is a mellow upbeat song with slightly immature lyrics (“Petty bullshit shouldn’t excite you on your birthday”). Drake sings about a woman he knows who is lacking emotional feeling (“To be, to feel, to fill, that emptiness inside you”). Ironically this song does the same thing and is not a song I’m exactly raving about. It fails to dive into the bounce it so clearly needs and ends up dragging.
“That’s How You Feel”
“That’s How You Feel” addresses a girl Drake is interested in but he’s not sure if she feels the same way (“Told you I couldn’t really draw the line”). In this track Drake samples the live performance of Nicki Minaj’s “Boss Ass Bitch” (“Rule number one to be a boss-ass bitch”), potentially the best part of the whole song. The chorus has a unique rhythm that is easy to get stuck in your head (“I know you like to drink ‘til the sun up, grind ‘til you come up, work all winter, shine all summer”). This song has really good production and is a good mixture between rapping and singing.
“Blue Tint”
“Blue Tint” addresses an ex that Drake has got back together with and how he is surprised that she has changed and he’s ready to give her another chance (“Look who I’m fuckin’ again, I had her on ice but then I watched the ice get thin”). He also frequently refers to his money, power and reputation in the rap game (“My window got blue in the tint ooh”). Future also features on this song (“Blue faces, I got blue diamonds, blue tint yeah”). This song has a great modern drum beat however I do wish Future featured a little more on the song.
“In My Feelings”
No matter where I am, whenever this song comes on I will automatically start dancing. This is by far one of my favourite tracks from the album. The song is a love letter to the members of City Girls, a pop musical girl group (“Kiki, do you love me? Are you riding? Say you’ll never ever leave from beside me”). There are several vocal samples including the track “Smoking Gun” by Magnolia Shorty. Also “Lollipop” by Lil Wayne is used and the seventh episode of Atlanta, which stars Childish Gambino. The episode was titled ‘Champagne Papi’ and the character is saying how he needs a photo with Drake for his instagram. The song has a sick New Orleans bounce that makes you want to dance all night long, it is a pure R&B track (“Two bad bitches and we kissin’ in the wraith”).
“Don’t Matter To Me”
“Don’t Matter To Me” features a collaboration with the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson (“It don’t matter to me what you say”). The featured vocals of the late Michael Jackson give the song a rather nostalgic feel or a slightly haunting one, I haven’t decided which yet. In Drake’s verse he addresses an ugly breakup with an ex (“Drinking’s enough of a vice, drugs just aren’t suiting you right”). The song mixes classic R&B vibes with a modern edge and whether MJ’s vocals are welcoming or haunting, they are definitely surprising.
“After Dark”
Definitely the more sensual of lyrics on the album, “After Dark” addresses a girl Drake wants to hook up with and he explains exactly how he will do it (“Put your phone down, you’re gonna need two hands, after dark”). Drake sounds really good on this track, definitely some of his best vocals. The featured vocals from Ty Dolla $ign are impressive and they kind of steal the song (“You said ‘do anything but just don’t lie to me’, I said I ride for you girl you said you ride for me”). The song has a thumping beat with an interesting guitar riff. It is a true R&B beat and the collaboration between Drake, Ty Dolla and Static is one I didn’t know I needed so bad.
“Final Fantasy”
Just when you thought “After Dark” was as sexual as it was gonna get, Drake comes through with “Final Fantasy”. On this track Drake describes his sexual fantasies as he realises he does not address this often so he wants to tell this girl exactly what he wants (“Yeah I never really talk about dick that I wanna give you, or places I wanna get to, neck grab, head grab, arch back, heart attack, cardiac”). The song features a sample from the video game ‘Final Fantasy’. The song is a raw and honest view of Drake’s sex life (“Make that face up if you dare but just be prepared that I am gonna cause that lipstick to smear”), (“I hope that the apocalypse is the only thing that doesn’t come now - well what now?”). I really like the keys in the background and Drake rapping over R&B beats is definitely something I love to hear.
“March 14”
“March 14”, the final track of the album and let’s be honest whenever a Drake song has a date or place as the title you know it’s gonna be good. On this track, Drake has an in-depth honest conversation about his child (“She’s not my lover like Billie Jean but the kid is mine”). He discusses the idea of being a single father and how that was something he disliked about his own father growing up (“Single father, I hate when I hear it, I use to challenge my parents on every album now I’m embarrassed to tell ‘em I ended up as a co-parent”). He tells his son that he won’t have to worry about the struggles of having separated parents (“I don’t want you worry ‘bout whose house you live at or who loves you more...I’m too proud to let that come between me and you now”). The date March 14 could refer to the day Drake played ‘Fortnite’ with Ninja or the day he met Kanye West to help record his album. A melodic piano comes in at the end as Drake addresses his pain (“No one to guide me, I’m all alone, no one to cry on I need shelter from the rain, to ease the pain, I’m changing from boy to a man”). Proving that although he may rap about being successful and powerful, he is still lost and searching for himself.
Side B
Side B dragged in a few places and it is definitely a representation of ‘Drake the singer’. It may be slightly bitter but it is also extremely raw and honest. Side B has more slow R&B tracks reminiscent of his early career. While there are shining moments, the music on Side B doesn’t seem to stick as much as Side A.
Overall I think Scorpion is an album for the ages. Some lyrics are immature or bitter and some are just an outright brag about his fame, money and power. However with his climb to success and struggles he’s encountered on the way, it seems only fair that Drake should be allowed to rap about this. Side A is definitely the more rap focused side and it produces some quality jams like “Emotionless”, “God’s Plan” and “Talk Up”. Side B is the more raw and emotional R&B side that produces some honest and enticing tracks like “Nice For What”, “In My Feelings” and “March 14”. Side A is definitely my favourite side as it proves Drake’s rap game is stronger than ever, whereas Side B although had its shining moments, seemed to drag a little. The album may be more of a circle than an ongoing journey but it takes us on an emotional roller coaster that we will no doubt be experiencing for years to come.
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Hey @calmyourpitches! Merry Christmas and enjoy your “little” Mitchsen fic (;
As Beca made her way down the stairs, her laptop bag over her shoulder, and two other suitcases in her hand, her mother called after her.
“Beca! Didn’t you forget something?” She asked sweetly.
“Of course, let me just bring the suitcases down okay?” The brunette responded before continuing her way down the stairs. When she reached the front door, she set everything down and sprinted back up into her mother’s arms. “Goodbye mom, I will miss you.”
“Goodbye honey, I’m sorry that I can’t bring you to Barden myself. Try to be nice to your dad, okay? After all, he is granting you this college education for free.” The older woman smiled and squeezed her daughter tightly.
“I will try, but no promises. I’ll visit you during the Christmas break alright?”
“I’d love nothing more. Goodbye now, your taxi is surely waiting.” The women smiled at each other before Beca turned around and walked down the stairs again. She was gonna miss her apartment and her mom.
She grabbed her suitcases, swung the bag over her shoulders and went outside. Since she didn’t see a taxi, she sat down at a nearby bench, deciding to kill time by mixing two songs together. 10 minutes later, a car honk made her look up from the screen, and she got up to put her suitcases and her bag into the trunk. She was going to hate college, she knew it. If she wasn’t allowed to go to LA straight away, she was gonna show her dad what happens if you don’t grant your child their wish.
The ride was quiet due to Beca not being up for small talk, and rather listening to the new mix she made to find out if any improvement could be made. Before she knew it, the taxi pulled up to Barden and she got out. Taking her laptop bag again, she looked at the building in front of her. Suddenly, a blonde girl appeared out of nowhere. “Hi there! Welcome to Barden University! What dorm?”
Startled, the only thing Beca could manage was “Baker Hall. I think.”
“Okay, so what you’re gonna do now…” The brunette wasn’t listening as a car pulled up next to her and a boy sang to “Carry On Wayward Son”. He noticed her looking and sang to her. Just as he was singing and mimicking the instrumental, the car continued driving and he was out of sight. Beca shook her head and turned her attention back to the girl. “Here is your campus map and here is your official BU rape whistle. Don’t blow it unless it’s actually happening.” She said with a wink.
Nodding and raising an eyebrow, Beca took the whistle in her mouth and continued her way to her dorm.
When she found her room, she discovered that her roommate was already there. “Hey, you must be Kimmy Jin. I’m Beca.” The girl just eyed her up and down, and being unsure what to do, she tried to lighten the mood. “No English?” Another glance. “Yes English. Just tell me where you’re at with English.” When the girl didn’t respond, Beca turned around and started setting up her equipment.
Suddenly, it knocked on the door. “This is the campus police, hide your wine coolers!” Her dad poked his head in laughing, making Beca roll her eyes. “Chris Rock, everybody.”
“You must be Beca’s roommate.” He said as he discovered that his daughter wasn’t alone. “I’m Dr. Mitchell, Beca’s dad. I teach Comparative Literature here.” Kimmy Jin also just eyed him up and down without saying anything. Feeling the awkward silence, he spun back around. “So, have you guys been out on the quad yet? In springtime, all the students study on the grass.”
“I don’t want to study on the grass, dad. I want to move to LA and get a job at a record label and start paying my dues.”
“Oh, here we go again. Beca, DJing isn’t a profession, it’s a hobby. Unless you’re Rick Dees or someone awesome!”
“That’s not… I… Ugh. I wanna produce music, I wanna make music, dad!” Beca tried to argue.
“But you’re going to get a college education first. For free, I might add, end of story.”
“I’m going to the Activities Fair.” Kimmy Jin suddenly interrupted. Seeing her way out, Beca quickly spun around to follow suit. “Me too, I’m going to the Activities Fair with my super good friend, Kimmy Jin. Bye dad!” And with that, she left, leaving her dad standing in their room.
The girls didn’t talk, and the brunette kind of awkwardly followed the Asian girl around until Kimmy Jin found a booth for Korean students. Knowing she lost the girl, Beca wandered around, keeping her eyes open for anything that was related to music. When she found a DJ booth, her heart fluttered and she tried her best not to run to it. When she reached it however, she noticed that there were no music symbols anywhere.
“Ah, DJs. Deaf Jews.” A girl behind her suddenly said, mimicking a scratching noise.
“Shalom!” The guy behind the booth greeted them.
“That’s not a real word but keep trying! You will get there!” The obese blonde shouted, making Beca cringe.
“Not a lot of Jewish people where you’re from, huh?”
“No… I did do Fiddler on the Roof in high school, though. It was like me and some Aboriginals. It was really Jewish.” The girl replied. Beca nodded her head politely, slowly exiting the conversation. “It was full on Jew.”
Keeping her eyes open for real music booths, she thought about the girl she just met. She was weird. The confidence that seemed to radiate from her made Beca feel like not everyone would get along with her. She was so deep in thought that she almost jumped in surprise when a redheaded girl held out a flyer for her. “Hi, any interest in joining our acapella group?”
Looking at the flyer and then back up to the girl, she smirked. “Oh right, this is like a thing now.”
“Oh, totes! We sing covers of songs but we do it without any instruments. It comes all from our mouths.” The redhead answered.
The only thing Beca could muster was “Yikes.”
“There are four groups on campus. The Bellas, that’s us. We’re the tits.” Registering that there was another girl standing next to the redhead, Beca looked at her. She was blonde and wore a pink dress that fit her quite well. Her posture screamed that she had a stick up her butt and she likes to control things.
“That could be interesting in the bedroom…” Beca thought and immediately, inappropriate images flooded her mind.
“So, are you interested?” The redhead suddenly said, snapping the brunette out of her thoughts. Panicking, she tried to come up with something.
“Sorry, it’s just… It’s pretty lame.” She ushered out, internally patting herself on the shoulder for that save.
“Acascuse me?” The blonde girl said. “Synchronized lady dancing to a Mariah Carey chart topper is not lame.” She added with an annoyed laugh.
“Great, my theory is right. She doesn’t like people talking against her and standing up to her.” Beca thought.
“We sing all over the world and compete in national championships.” The redhead chimed in.
“On purpose?” Beca almost laughed.
“We played the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, you bitch!” The blonde suddenly said, making the brunette raise an eyebrow at the snarky remark. Obviously, her friend was trying to calm her down. “What Aubrey means to say is that we’re a close-knit, talented group of ladies whose dream is to return to the national finals at Lincoln Center this year. Help us turn our dreams into a reality?” She added with a hopeful face.
“Sorry, I don’t even sing. But it was really nice to meet you guys.” Beca smiled and walked away. “Aubrey, huh?” She muttered, walking to a new aisle of booths. Finally, she found a booth about a radio station and signed her name. “Better than nothing.” She thought.
Later that day, she received a call about her internship. She had to start the next day. When Beca asked if she could play music, the phone call ended. Shrugging, she went to bed.
x
The next day Beca woke up, she groaned and rolled over, grabbing her phone. As she was stretching, she checked the time. 10:46 am. Her eyes went wide, realizing she was supposed to be at the radio station by 11. Hurriedly, she stood up, got changed and brushed her hair. After applying her trade mark, her eyeliner, she ran out of the door and across campus.
She could already see the building in the distance, but didn’t notice what was in front of her. Before she knew it, she collided with the blonde from the activities fair.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” Aubrey angrily said before getting back up.
“Sorry, I’m late.” Beca replied as she shoved the notebooks the blonde dropped into the blonde’s hands. The brunette turned around and continued her run to the radio station, leaving a confused and angry Aubrey behind. With a huff, the other girl turned around and walked away.
When Beca arrived at the radio station, she went inside, catching her breath.
“95.7, WBUJ, music for the independent mind.” A voice, presumably the host, said.
She looked around, being in awe at how much CDs and Vinyls there were. She couldn’t wait to be inspired for some mixes. And hopefully, she could play them too. Looking inside the booth, she didn’t see anybody. Beca could swear that she saw the host two seconds before.
Suddenly, the door opened, revealing a blonde guy. “Hey, I’m Luke, the station manager. You must be Becky, the intern?”
“Actually, it’s-“ But before Beca could continue, someone barged in, yelling.
“Hey man, what’s up? I’m Jesse.” Beca immediately recognized him as the boy who sang to her in the car. Oh boy, this is going to be great.
“I’m Luke, you’re late.” The blonde guy replied before walking over to a desk with a box full of CDs.
Beca followed suit. “Hey, I know you.” The brown haired boy suddenly said.
“No you don’t.” She replied.
“Yeah I do. I remember you. I sang to you. You were in a taxi. Wait, is your dad a taxi driver?”
“Dude, shut up.” Luke interrupted. Beca threw him a thankful look. “So, your job is stacking CDs. Start with this box. When you’re done, there is more. You guys will be spending a lot of down time together, so please… No sex on the desk. I’ve been burned before.”
The brunette girl made a gagging noise as Luke walked away. “This sucks.” She sighed. “I wanted to play music.”
“Not me. I’m here for one reason only. I really love stacking CDs.” Jesse said. Beca gave him a weird look. “So what’s your deal? Are you one of those girls who’s all dark and mysterious, and then she takes off her glasses and that amazingly scary ear spike and you realize that, you know, she’s been beautiful, the whole time?”
“I don’t wear glasses.” Beca shot back.
“Then you’re halfway there.” Jesse smiled goofily.
Beca rolled her eyes and returned her attention to the CDs. This was going to be a job that sucked, but maybe she could schmooze her way up to Luke so he would play her mixes or even let her take over the station. With a satisfied hum, she started stacking the CDs.
x
Later that day, Beca grabbed her shower utensils and headed for the shower rooms. Since she didn’t get the chance to shower this morning, she felt happy about cleaning all the sweat and dusk off of her. The radio station was in serious need of some deep cleaning. When she removed her clothes and threw her bath robe on, she started singing Titanium, knowing that nobody was showering at this hour. She selected a stall and turned on the water, waiting for it to heat up.
“You can sing!” A voice suddenly exclaimed, making Beca jump and turn around in shock.
“Dude, what the fuck?!” The brunette said to the redhead who she recognized from the activities fair.
“How high does your belt go?” The girl said, turning off the shower.
“My what? Oh my god!” Beca didn’t knew what to do, she only knew her rape whistle was too far away so that she could blow it. It was in her room, to be exact. So she hid behind the shower curtain.
“You have to audition for the Bellas!” The redhead stated, putting her hands on her own hips.
“I can’t concentrate on anything you’re saying unless you cover your junk.” The brunette looked at the ceiling to avoid looking at the very naked woman in front of her.
“Like what you see?” The ginger suddenly smirked, adding a wink. Beca almost choked on her spit.
“I would kindly request you to step out of my shower before I blow my whistle.”
“I can’t see the whistle anywhere on you.” The girl laughed. “Anyways, that was David Guetta, right?”
“You know him?” Beca looked at her, shocked.
“Are you kidding me? I love him!” The other girl replied. In her excitement, she ripped the curtain away from Beca.
“Seriously?” The brunette sighed, turning her private parts towards the wall. “I’m nude.”
“Yeah, duh, we both are. Anyways, Titanium is my jam! My lady jam.” The redhead winked, making Beca uncomfortable. “Can you sing it for me?”
“Dude no! Get out before I call for help. Seriously.”
“I’m not leaving until you sing, so.” The ginger looked at her expectantly. Beca sighed in defeat before turning around and picking up from where she left. The other girl chimed in at the chorus, and the brunette was surprised how well they sounded together. Maybe, just maybe, she will ask the girl to record a duet one day.
When they finished the song, they actually smiled at each other. Beca couldn’t believe she just sang with a complete stranger in the shower. Naked. She looked down and back up. Very naked.
“Oh yeah, I’m pretty confident about… All this.” The girl motioned to her body. “I’m Chloe, by the way.”
“Beca. No offense, but would you please go for real now? I really want to shower.” The brunette smiled awkwardly.
“Sure, if you audition for the Bellas.” Chloe shrugged and Beca sighed.
“Fine, when?”
“Next week at the drama stage. We meet at 2 pm.” The redhead smiled. “Nice tattoos by the way.” With that, she walked away, leaving Beca alone in her shower stall. Shaking her head, she turned the shower back on and stepped beneath it.
x
A week later Beca was pacing back and forth. It was now 1:55 pm and she had still not decided if she wanted to go or not. If she didn’t go she won’t be able to go to LA. If she went and endured it for a year, she could chase after a dream and make music. But what would happen if she ended up hating being a Bella? What if she quit halfway? Would her dad still allow her to go? If she was being honest with herself, deep down, she knew she wanted to join. She could actually sing and maybe show off her mixes so that the Bellas could dance to it. The only thing that sucked was that it was acapella. Professional music producers would sneer when they saw she had been part of a lame acapella group in college. But on the other hand, she felt this weird need to completely shake that Aubrey girl to the core. She was interested in her. Why was she such a stuck up bitch? Maybe there was more to her than she was showing.
The brunette sighed. She looked at the door and knew what to do. She grabbed her keys and made her way to the drama stage.
x
Standing in the door, she watched a nerd finishing up the last bit of “Since You’ve Been Gone”. Not being sure as to what to do, she looked at the flyer on the door. She noticed that this was the audition song. Shit.
“That was everybody for this year.” A guy on the stage said. “I’m really not impressed this year.” That’s when the girl realized she was too late. With a huff, Beca wanted to turn around when…
“Wait! There’s one more!” Chloe called out, turning everybody’s attention to her.
The brunette awkwardly walked in. “I uh… Didn’t know we had to sing that song.”
“Oh that’s okay! Just sing anything you want.” The redhead smiled at her.
“Uhm… May I?” Beca asked, motioning to the cup filled with pens. When Chloe nodded, the brunette grabbed it and put the pens on the table before placing the cup upside down in front of her. She took a deep breath before tapping out a beat and singing the Cup song, a song she will spend a lifetime regretting since the Bellas, especially a certain redhead, will always tease her with it.
After she was done, Chloe beamed at her and Aubrey was skeptically looking at her. But she had a glint of something else in her eyes. Had she actually impressed the blonde?
x
Later that day, Beca was walking along the sidewalk when suddenly someone put a bag over her head. She was about to scream when she heard Chloe’s voice next to her ear. “Shush, don’t scream. You can do that in the bedroom later.” The brunette could practically hear her wink. “You’ve been chosen to be a part of the Bellas. This is your initiation. Would you please let me guide you to our secret location?”
“Wow I have never experienced such a nice kidnapping. Will you get me food while we’re at it? Maybe a massage? How about a million dollars?” Beca replied sarcastically, and Chloe laughed.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” With that, she wrapped her arm around the brunette’s waist and they started walking. After what felt like hours, Chloe stopped. “We’re here.”
“Cool.” After the redhead didn’t move, Beca grew self-conscious. “Uhm, Chloe? You can let go of me, right?”
“Oh right.” The redhead in question retracted her arm and the brunette could hear her walk away. Unsure of what to do, Beca continued to stand around, after a while contemplating to take her sack off. Just when she was about to do it, she felt someone grabbing her arm and ushering her to god knows where. She could feel someone standing next to her when the person stopped her.
“We have gathered here to announce the new Bellas and to initiate them.” A voice behind her started to say, making Beca jump. “The sopranos. Jessica, Mary Elise, Lilly.” The brunette could hear something being pulled off, presumably the sacks. Nice, finally. “The mezzos. Cynthia Rose, Stacie, Kori. And our Altos. Fat Amy, Denise, Ashley and Beca.” When her name was said, the hood came off, and the brunette was greeted with candles literally everywhere. She saw something flicker next to her, which made her turn to the podium with more candles on it. Beca scrunched up her face.
“Now, we shall begin by drinking the blood of the sisters that came before you.” Aubrey said, walking over to a table and lifting up a fancy looking wine glass. The brunette almost choked on air. She had joined a fucking cult.
“Dude, no!” She exclaimed.
“Don’t worry, it’s Boone’s farm.” Chloe whispered to her and winked again. Begrudgingly, Beca took the glass and drank a sip before giving it back to Chloe.
After every girl took a sip, Aubrey handed everyone a scarf. “Please place the scarf into your right hand.” The redhead even showed it to them where they had to place it as if they were kindergarten kids. But just to be sure, Beca looked around to check if it was the right hand. “Repeat after me please.” The blonde continued. “I, sing your names.”
“I.” The girls said in unison before singing their names, which created a cringe worthy moment.
“Promise to fulfill the duties and responsibilities of a Bella woman.” Aubrey said.
“Promise to fulfill the duties and responsibilities of a Bella woman.” The girls parroted.
“And I solemnly promise to never have sexual relations with a Treblemaker, or may my vocal chords be ripped out by wolves.” Aubrey finished with a smile.
The other girls just looked at her in shock, but repeated the words anyways, even if with hesitation. “And I solemnly promise to never have sexual relations with a Treblemaker, or may my vocal chords be ripped out by wolves.”
“Congratulations, you’re all Bellas now.” The blonde smiled and the others squealed. Beca, however, still tried to take in the fact that she possibly just joined a cult. Would that mean she’d come in one day and they would perform a satanic ritual? Or would they start drinking real blood from horny fuckboys they seduced?
“Now, follow us to the initiation party!” Chloe exclaimed, and a tall busty girl squealed. “I’m so ready!” The girls excitedly made their way to the exit, but Beca stood frozen in her place.
“Beca?” Aubrey called out to her. After receiving no response, she walked over to the brunette. “Earth to Beca? You coming?”
“Huh, what?” The girl in question asked, shaking her head.
“Why were you just standing there? If this happens often, I’m going to kick you out of the Bellas, just so we’re clear. I want my girls to be fully attentive to me. If something goes wrong, they’re going to be punished. You don’t want to be punished, do you, Beca?” The blonde said.
“Woah, chill out dude. I was just lost in thought. No need to be like that. Besides, I could be into that kinda stuff, you never know.” Beca answered with a wink. Aubrey just gave her a baffled look and stared at the smaller girl in front of her, not knowing what to say. Smirking, the brunette walked towards the exit. “Are you coming now or what?”
“This feud is not over yet!” Aubrey angrily exclaimed and stormed past Beca. Chuckling, she followed the furious blonde.
Arriving at the amphitheater, the brunette cringed at the sight in front of her. People were already drunk, and some were already making out.
“Alright ladies, welcome to aca-initiation night. Prepare to soften the beach.” Aubrey announced before walking off. The other girls followed her, but Beca chose to stay where she was. When the obese blonde from the Activities Fair walked past her, the brunette spoke up.
“I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”
“Just living the dream. I still can’t believe that they let my sexy fat ass in.” The girl laughed. “I’m Fat Amy by the way.”
“Fat… Amy? Why not just Amy?” Beca asked.
“So twig bitches like you don’t say it behind my back, duh! If you’d excuse me, I need to seduce some confused frat boys. What was your name again?”
Before Beca could speak up, a voice called her name. The girls turned their heads to Jesse approaching them. “Beca! Beca, hey!”
“Ah, alright. I’ll leave you guys to it.” Fat Amy said and walked off.
“Oh great, what are you doing here? Are you stalking me?” The brunette girls asked the boy.
“Are you a Bella now? Funny, I never pegged you as the type who likes acapella.” Jesse smiled goofily. “But now you’re one of those acapella girls, and I’m one of those acapella guys, and we’re gonna have aca-children. It’s inevitable.”
“Dude, I think this is the perfect time to say it. There is never going to be something between us because I’m gay.” Beca shrugged.
“Oh, okay… Well, can we be friends then? We could be each other’s wingmen and such!”
“Woah, this is the most positive reaction I’ve gotten when I turned a guy down.” The brunette looked suspiciously at the boy in front of her. “You’re being genuine, right?”
“Of course! There will be other girls that will like me for who I am.” Jesse smiled.
“Cool. Are you sure you’re gonna remember everything tho? You seem stupid drunk.” Beca chuckled.
“Am not! I’ll prove it to you!” The brunette boy pouted.
“Okay, so if I were to push you, you’d come back without hesitation?” The girl chuckled and proceeded to push him.
Jesse proudly came back without falling. “See, coming right back. But I think you should get a drink, you need to loosen up a bit. Be right back.” With that, he walked away, leaving Beca alone. Not for long though, because a redhead grabbed her hands and pulled her towards her.
“Hey there stranger.” Chloe chuckled.
“What’s up?” The brunette smiled.
“I am so glad that I met you.” The redhead grinned and came closer, so that their faces were only inches apart. “I think that we’re going to be very fast friends.”
“Well, you saw me naked, so.” Beca winked.
“You need to be careful though, Bree was shooting daggers at you and that Treble. If you hook up, keep it a secret.”
“Oh, we won’t hook up. I’m gay and I told him that. We’re most likely just going to be friends.”
Chloe seemed to be pleased with that information. “Well, that’s good. But anyways, I promise you, being a Bella is going to be aca-awesome.”
“So awesome that no one is going to impeach Aubrey? I feel like she is going to be like a general, dictating everyone around.” The brunette said, glancing over at the blonde girl.
“Don’t worry about her. She’s a good girl and actually pretty nice once you really get to know her. Her parents just never took her out of the shrink-wrap.” Chloe smiled reassuringly.
“I don’t know what that means. But okay, if you say so.”
“I feel like this year is going to be interesting for all of us.”
“Oh yeah? Why?”
“I just feel like you’re what the group needed. Maybe you’ll be able to convince Aubrey to use songs from the 21st century and not those boring songs we always perform.” The redhead grinned.
“Wait, you’re performing boring songs? How boring?” Beca looked shocked.
“Uhm… like 20th century boring. 80s and all that.” Chloe shrugged.
“Oh boy what did I get myself into?” The brunette groaned and shook her head.
“A family for life, I tell you! Anyways, I need to go, this ginger needs her jiggle juice! See ya later!” The redhead shook her ass playfully and winked at Beca before walking off.
“Make good choices!” Beca laughed and looked around. That’s when the DJ decided to turn up the music.
“Come and dance you losers!” He yelled and everybody cheered, making their way to the dance floor. Jesse was coming back with two cups in his hands.
“Here you go. This is awesome man! I’m so ready for college.”
“Yeah it’s really something.” Beca accepted the drink that was handed to her and took a sip.
“We are the kings of campus!” He yelled, making the brunette girl cringe. Just when she thought it couldn’t get worse, she saw Aubrey coming at her.
“What do you think you’re doing? You took an oath!” The blonde exclaimed.
“If I remember it correctly, that oath was about sexual relations. Not talking.” Beca smirked.
“So? You’re going to talk, then you’re going to drink and before you know it you hook up. That happened to a lot of Bellas in the past.” Aubrey spat out, stepping closer to the smaller girl.
“Dude, I am 100% positive that there’s no hooking up happening. So you can chill and maybe get yourself a drink to loosen up? Visit a doctor so he can remove the stick you got stuck in your ass?”
“How dare you talk to me like that?! You’re just trying to distract me so you can hook up with that damn Treble!”
“I’m fucking gay so the only people I’ll be hooking up with are 100% female. And last I checked that doesn’t go against the oath.” The brunette crossed her arms, glaring into the other girl’s eyes.
“Whatever. If I see you kissing that boy anyways, you’re going to be in so much trouble. Consider this your warning, if I catch you two making out, you’re out of the Bellas.” Aubrey huffed, avoiding Beca’s glare.
“Oh, and what about that girl over there? Dancing and humping that Treblemaker?” The brunette said, pointing to the dance floor.
“What?!” Aubrey’s head whipped around and saw them full on making out. “This is unacceptable! Kori!! You’re out of the Bellas!” She yelled, turning everybody’s attention, including the pair in question, at her. The next thing that happened was the girl running off, crying.
“Woah, was it really necessary to cause such a scene?” Beca asked.
“Don’t tell me how to run the Bellas.” With that, Aubrey walked away, leaving the brunette alone.
“I don’t know what just happened but damn she is a bitch.” Jesse said, shaking his head.
“Tell me about it. I think I’m gonna call it a night. See you around, Treble.” Beca smiled and turned around, walking towards her dorm.
x
The next day, Beca went to the auditorium for her rehearsal. “This is going to be so fucking awesome.” She thought as she walked in and met some other Bellas who were already there. The girls introduced themselves and the brunette kindly reintroduced herself back, and they chatted until Aubrey spoke up.
“Okay. Sit down, please. Sopranos in the front, altos in the back.” The girls did as they were told and sat down. “As you can see, Kori is not here with us. Last night she was trebleboned and had to face her consequences. She has been disinvited from the Bellas.”
“Yeah we all know after the scene you caused yesterday.” Beca muttered, but Aubrey still heard her.
“Well that’s how serious I am about this oath. I’m Dixie Chicks serious. Now, has anybody else something to confess?” The blonde looked around, but kept coming back to Mary Elise.
Knowing that the girl had been caught, she tried to justify herself. “I’m sorry, it was an accident. I didn’t-“
“Save it. Turn in your scarf and go.” Aubrey said, holding out her hand.
Begrudgingly, Mary Elise gave her the scarf. Just as she was about to leave, the blonde spoke up again. “Take your chair and drag it behind you.” The girl silently nodded and dragged her chair behind her before storming out, crying.
“Was that really necessary?” Beca asked, staring at the blonde in disbelief.
“This is war, Beca. And it’s my job to make sure that my soldiers are prepped at go time with three kick-ass songs sung and choreographed to perfection. If you have a problem with it, you can-“ But before Aubrey could finish speaking she put her hand up to her mouth and made quiet gagging noises. Beca looked baffled at her and Chloe put a hand on the blonde’s back and whispered comfortingly.
“Calm down, Bree. We don’t want what happened last year to happen again, do we?” Even though it was quiet, the girls all heard it. Lilly raised her hand.
“What happened last year?” She asked so quietly that the girls had to lean in closer.
“Excuse me? What did you say?” The redhead asked.
“What happened last year?” The girls leaned back, understanding her. “And do you guys want to see a dead body?” Even though it was quiet, Beca heard it loud and clear and decided to scooch away a little.
“Well, I’m going to be honest with you. I…” Aubrey took a deep sigh. “Whenever I get too riled up or nervous, I projectile vomit. That kinda happened last year during finals.”
Lilly suddenly whipped out a tablet and typed something into YouTube. Then she tapped on a video and played it. It showed the Bellas performing, Aubrey and Chloe in the front. The blonde took the mic from another girl and sang god knows what until suddenly, she vomited all over the front row. Some Bellas let out a disgusted noise.
“Okay, enough now. It happened, it’s in the past.” Aubrey interrupted them, pulling their attention back to her. “Now, we will practice every day for at least two hours, and I trust you will add your own cardio.”
“Why cardio?” Beca asked.
“Yeah no, don’t put me down for cardio.” Fat Amy said, making the brunette grin.
“Moving on. This is a list of all the songs we have ever performed. And you will notice that we only do songs that were made famous by women.” Beca accepted the list and raised an eyebrow. There really was nothing from this century on here.
“This list is boring. We need new songs. Songs from this century.”
“Not going to happen. We don’t stray from tradition.” Aubrey said firmly to which the brunette just raised her eyebrow.
“Whatever you say, General.”
Choosing to ignore the girl’s comment, the blonde continued. “Now, this board portrays how we will become champions.” She turned it around. “We will start with running some laps. Then we will do vocal warm ups and start with the choreography. Any questions?” When nobody raised their hand, Aubrey nodded and started with the plan.
x
Five hours later, Aubrey finally called it. The girls groaned in relief and picked up their stuff and began walking out. “Beca, a word.”
The girl stopped and turned around. “Yes, general?”
“First, stop calling me that. Second, you know you’ll have to take those ear monstrosities out for Fall Mixer, right?”
“Man, here I thought you would actually compliment me on my hard work today.” Beca said sarcastically.
“I don’t like your attitude.” Aubrey stated.
“You don’t even know me. Plus, you’re not the boss of me. So I will continue doing whatever the fuck I want.” The brunette smiled.
“I swear to god, I’m going to kick you out.” The blonde said through gritted teeth.
“You lost two girls already. I’m pretty sure you need me more than I need you, so.”
“Fuck you.”
“That’s all you can say to that? That’s weak.”
“I will make your life a living hell.” Aubrey said, stepping closer.
“I would like to see you try. This is going to be interesting.” Beca smirked.
“I’m going to slap that stupid smirk off your face.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Try me.”
Chloe awkwardly cleared her throat, turning the attention of the girls, who were only inches apart, to her. “No need to fight you guys. I’m sure you two can figure this out.”
“Whatever.” Beca said before walking off. She hated Aubrey with a burning passion, but there was something so irresistible about her as well. Shaking her head, she walked to the showers.
x
A week later, they performed for Sigma Beta Theta. Needless to say, it was a disaster. After the frat guy dismissed them, they walked back to campus.
“Well I hope you all remember how you’re feeling right now, so you’ll never want to feel this way again. Chloe, your voice didn’t sound Aguilerian at all. What’s the matter?” Aubrey said.
Chloe dramatically whipped around, making the girls stop in their tracks. “I have nodes.” She stated.
“What? Oh my god, why didn’t you tell me?” The blonde asked, shocked.
“What the fuck are nodes?” Beca questioned.
“Vocal nodules? The rubbing together of your vocal chords at above average rates without proper lubrication.” Aubrey explained.
“They sit on your windpipe and crush your dreams.” The redhead said with teary eyes.
“Well, isn’t that painful? Why would you keep on singing?” The brunette questioned.
“Because I love it! It’s my life.” Chloe sighed. “The key is early diagnosis. I am living with nodes. But I am a survivor. I just have to pull back. Because I am limited. Because I have nodes.”
Beca rolled her eyes at how dramatic the redhead was being.
“Chloe, this is horrible. I will take that into account and see what we can do about this.” Aubrey smiled.
“Woah, the general can actually be nice? Who would’ve known.” The brunette said.
“Shut it, Mitchell.” The blonde glared.
“Make me.” Beca smirked.
Aubrey was taken aback. Flustered, she turned around and walked away. The brunette just chuckled. The Bellas exchanged glances between each other as to what just happened.
x
Beca was sitting out on the quad when Jesse suddenly put a blanket down next to her. “Uh, what is this?”
“A picnic.” The boy responded and threw her a juice pouch. “As much as I love spending time stacking CDs with you, we need to do something out of the radio station, too. You know, hang out and stuff, like friends usually do.”
“Are you insulting me? Are you saying I don’t have friends?” The girl fake gasped.
Jesse chuckled. “No, you weirdo. So, I was thinking we could watch some movies. I have E.T., Star Wars, Jaws, The Breakfast Club and Rocky. Best scored and soundtracked movies of all time. That’s what I wanna do when I grow up. Score movies, move people to tears, blow their minds and all that.”
Beca groaned. “Do we have to? I would rather talk about my parent’s divorce. Or visit a gynecologist.”
“What? Do you not like movies?” Jesse asked, raising his eyebrow, to which the brunette girl just responded by taking a sip out of her juice pouch. “What?! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“They’re fine. I just doze off somewhere and never make it to the ending. The endings are so predictable too. Like, the kid sees dead people, the guy gets the girl and Darth Vader is Luke’s father.”
“Oh, so you’re telling me you just knew the biggest cinematic reveal in history? Just like that?” The brunette boy asked.
“No, everybody talked about it when it was revealed. I have ears. But for real though, Vader in Dutch means father. His name is literally “Dark Father”. Kind of obvious, don’t you think?” Beca said.
“Whatever. You need a moviecation. And I’m gonna give it to you.”
“Oh yeah, in between the Bellas rehearsals which are always.”
“Are you guys getting ready for the riff off?” Jesse asked.
“What the fuck is that?”
“I don’t know much about it, I just know it’s tonight and we compete against the other acapella groups on campus.”
“Tonight? Shit, that’s what Aubrey meant with a trip. I swear, I imagined worse things, but I hope this doesn’t suck.” Beca groaned and dropped her head in her hands. “Hopefully we don’t have to perform those old and boring songs.”
“We’ll see. I need to go, my class is starting soon. See you tonight!” The boy waved her goodbye and left.
x
The acapella groups gathered around in the pool when the announcer spoke up. “Welcome to the riff off! Are you ready to get vocal?” Everybody cheered in response. “The winners get the greatest price of all. A microphone used by Hoobastank when they performed at the Schnee Performing Arts Center.” The crowd went crazy and Beca just stared at him. “To win, you must steal the song from the other group by picking off a word they’re singing, and make it the first word of your own song. If you can’t think of a song, you are-“ He claps. “Cut off! If you repeat a song, you are-“ More people join. “Cut off! And most of all, if you suck, you are-“ Everybody joined in. “Cut off! Now, let’s have a look at the first category!” He pulled out a weird device which projected a spinning wheel onto the pool wall. “Let’s see our first category. It’s… Ladies of the 80s!”
Beca groaned as Aubrey ran forward, but the Treblemakers cut her off before she could sing anything.
Oh Mickey, you're so fine
You're so fine you blow my mind
Hey Mickey, Hey Hey Hey Mickey
Oh Mickey, you're so fine
One of the BU Harmonics stepped up and cut the Treblemakers off.
You're so fine and you're mine
I'll be yours till the end of time
Cause you make me feel
Yeah you make me feel
So shiny and new
Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like the
Aubrey turned around. “Okay guys, we’ll sing “Hit Me With Your Best Shot!” She turned back around and started singing.
Like the one in me
That's O.K.
Let's see how you do it
Put up your dukes
Let's get down to it
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
A girl from the High Notes stepped up and started singing, obviously completely high.
Away - ay...
It must have been love
But it's over now
But it's over right now
“The negative side effects of medical marihuana, folks.” The announcer interrupted the girl. “You are…” Everybody clapped. “Cut off! Let’s check out the next category.”
“So we just pick any song that works? Even from this century?” Beca asked, turning to Chloe.
“If it fits the category, yes.”
“And you just go with it?”
“Yep.” The redhead smiled.
“Man, that’s nice. Why can’t we always be like this?” The brunette sighed.
“Alright, the next category is… Songs about Sex.”
Just as a Treblemaker stepped forward, Cynthia Rose emerged from between the Bellas.
Na na na
Come on
Na na na na na
Come on, come on, come on
Cause I may be bad
But I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air
I don't care I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Cause I may be bad
But I'm perfectly good at it
Sex
Beca chuckled, that category was clearly fit for Stacie. Before she could continue her humping with Cynthia Rose, a Treble stepped up.
Sex baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex
Alright
Let's talk about sex
A little bit, a little bit
Let's talk about sex, baby
Aubrey, who ushered Stacie back, lost her again when she turned back around to cut the singing Treble off.
Baby, all through the night
I'll make love to you
Like you want me too
And I
Jesse stepped up, cutting Stacie off.
And I guess it's just the woman in you
That brings out the man in me
I know I can't help myself
You're all in the world to me
It feels like the first time
It feels like the very first time
It feels like the first time
It
Watching Jesse made Beca chuckle. He seemed to love music so much. Knowing she had to make the Bellas win the competition though, she ran up to the brunette boy and cut him off.
It's going down, fade to Blackstreet
The homies got RB, collab' creations
bump like acne, No doubt
I put it down, never slouch
As long as my credit can vouch
A dog couldn't catch me, straight up
Tell me who could stop when Dre making moves
Attracting honeys like a magnet
Giving them eargasms with my mellow accent
Still moving this flavor
with the homies Blackstreet and Teddy
The original rump shakers
Everybody was baffled that Beca could rap. Even her group, that should have backed her up, looked at her in shock. Uncertain, the brunette continued to sing.
Shorty get down, good Lord
Baby got 'em open all over town
Thankfully, Fat Amy came to the rescue and began singing with her.
Strictly biz, she don't play around
Cover much ground, got game by the pound
Getting paid is a forte
Each and every day, true player way
Beca looked at Aubrey, who just stood there, staring at her in disbelief. Not breaking eye contact, she sung the next lines.
I can't get her outta my mind
I think about the girl all the time
“Did she just… blush?” The brunette thought. Shaking her head, she continued to sing.
I like the way you work it No diggity, I got to bag it up, Baby
I like the way you work it No diggity, I got to bag it up, Baby
The other acapella groups and even the audience joined in to sing with them. Beca walked around, grinning like an idiot.
I like the way you work it No diggity, I got to bag it up, Baby
I like the way you work it No diggity, I got to bag it up, Baby
I like the way you work it No diggity, I got to bag it up, Baby
I like the way you work it No diggity, I got to bag it up, Baby
We out!
The crowd cheered while the Bellas celebrated their victory. Or so they thought.
“Tough blow ladies.” The announcer spoke up. “The word you needed to match was “it”. And you sang “it’s”. So you are…” Everybody clapped again. “Cut off! The winners are the Treblemakers!”
“I’ve never heard that rule!” Aubrey exclaimed before walking away. “Come on ladies, come back.” The Bellas followed her. “Before everybody goes to bed tonight, I need you to make a list of everything you did wrong.”
“But guys, what we did was great, right?” Beca spoke up.
“Calm your pits, Beca, we still lost.” The blonde huffed.
“Yeah, but it was spontaneous, it was awesome. We were actually listening to…”
“Okay, everybody, hands in.” Aubrey cut her off.
“No, I refuse to accept that you want to punish us for doing something great! You don’t want to admit it, but you also know that this, what just happened, was better than anything you ever did in this Bella career. So why don’t we continue doing that?” The brunette asked angrily.
“Yeah I’m with Beca on that one. This was so great today.” Cynthia Rose said and went to stand next to Beca.
“Yeah, I agree.” Fat Amy replied, putting an arm around the smaller girl. Slowly, all the Bellas went to stand next to Beca.
“Chloe?” Aubrey asked, looking with hurt in her eyes to her best friend.
“I’m sorry, but I agree with Beca. We need new songs, we need to stray from tradition and be better than last year.” She said apologetically before walking over to the girl.
“Oh, I see how it is. I’m the jerk, the one that dictates everyone around and controls everything. It isn’t like I’m the captain of this group or something!”
“Aubrey, it’s totally okay how you run the Bellas. We just want newer songs.” The brunette tried to reason.
“No. Honestly, fuck all of you. I’m done.” The blonde said and walked away.
“It’s best just to give her space. We’ll meet tomorrow at 9 am for practice. Good night guys.” Chloe smiled, and the Bellas bid their good nights. Then, the redhead looked at Beca. “Can I walk you to your dorm?”
“Why? You scared that someone will steal me?” The brunette chuckled.
“No you weirdo. I just want to get to know you better.”
Beca nodded and they started walking. After some silence, she spoked up. “I feel bad. Aubrey didn’t deserve the whole group turning against her.”
“Hey, you tried to convince her to use a new set list. You’re not the first, I tried as well, but even though I’m her best friend, she just won’t listen to me.” Chloe sighed.
“What makes her not loosen up?”
“Her dad. He’s in the military and always trained her to be the perfect daughter with perfect grades and all that. She doesn’t want to disappoint him.”
“Her dad can fuck off. Nobody can be 100% perfect.” Beca sighed. “I just wish she would accept the fact that new songs would help. I know that she also knows it’s better. She just needs the nudge to do it.”
Chloe looked up to the sky. “I always see you out on the quad with your headphones in and staring really intently into your laptop. What are you doing?”
“Stalker much?” The brunette chuckled. “I like to mix songs together. I started it when I was around 14 and never stopped doing it. I want to move to LA and become a music producer.”
“Wow, that’s cool! Can I listen to it?” The redhead asked as they stopped in front of Beca’s dorm room.
“Well, I’m usually not comfortable showing them, but… What have I left to lose? If Kimmy Jin isn���t here, you could listen to them right away.” The smaller girl answered and unlocked the door to reveal an empty room. “Well, I guess it’s settled then. Have a seat on the bed.”
Chloe nodded happily as she sat down on the bed, eagerly waiting for Beca to hand her the headphones, when she did, the redhead immediately put them on, letting the music consume her. “Shit Beca, this is really good! I like it.” She smiled.
“Thanks, Chloe.” The brunette blushed.
“We could show this to Aubrey, maybe she will realize that the Bellas wouldn’t be lost with new songs, but that you can mix them together and we can work on the choreography.”
“You think?” Beca asked, plopping down next to the redhead.
“I’m sure of it.” They smiled at each other, and Chloe took in a deep breath. “The Bellas aside, I wanted to ask if you might want to go on a date with me? I really want to get to know you better.”
“Oh, uh… No, sorry. I’m not interested in you.” Beca scratched the back of her neck. “I see us as friends. Nothing more.”
“Oh, okay. Nothing wrong with asking.” The redhead smiled softly. “Well, I’ll be going. See you tomorrow, and bring some samples with you, will ya?”
“Will do. Good night, Chloe.” The brunette smiled and closed the door behind the girl. She sighed and put her head against the door. “Why is everybody crushing on me?” She thought. Shaking her head, she went to bed.
x
The next day Beca walked in to the Bellas panicking. “Woah guys, what’s wrong?”
“Beca, Aubrey hasn’t been home all night and she didn’t show up here!” Chloe cried.
“Shit. I’d say we spread out, look all over campus. Exchange numbers so we can message each other. She surely is somewhere.” The brunette said. “Ashley, Jessica, you’ll look for her in the school building. Maybe she is in a classroom. Cynthia Rose, Stacie, you check the dorms. Maybe she crashed somewhere. Denise, Fat Amy, you search the quad. Chloe and I will look around college. Maybe she went to the lake. Is everybody’s task clear?”
“Yes!” The girls said in unison.
“Wait, where is Lilly?” Chloe asked.
“I guess she already went to look for her. Now, go.” The Bellas went outside before splitting up. Chloe and Beca started their way to the lake.
“I’m so worried, she never did that before. I hope she’s okay.” The redhead said, sniffing.
“Hey, I’m sure she is. We’ll find her in no time.” The brunette smiled reassuringly.
When they arrived at the lake, they decided to split up and walk around either side so the search would go faster. Beca shoved her hands in her pockets and looked around, trying to spot a certain blonde. After a while, she stumbled over a treehouse. Deciding it would be worth a look, she climbed up, opened the trap door only to reveal Aubrey, sitting in a corner with her knees pulled up to her chest and her head on the knees.
“Hey, Aubrey.” The brunette said softly.
“Go away Beca. I hate you.” The blonde mumbled.
“Okay, bye.” Beca smirked, starting to climb back down.
“No wait. Please don’t go.”
Beca went back up and fully entered the tree house. “Nice hideout. Do you come here often?”
“Maybe so.” Aubrey answered, her head still on her knees.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you yesterday. I was just trying-“
“Save it.” The blonde cut her off. “Why am I never doing enough for anybody? Not even my dad is proud of me. I always tried to live up to his standards but he was always disappointed.” She sobbed and slammed her fist against the wall.
“Maybe he doesn’t want you to live up to his standards. Maybe he is disappointed because you don’t try to do your own thing. Maybe he set such high standards because he knew you could never reach them, and wanted to inspire you to break out from that and find your own way to do things.” Beca suggested, sitting down next to the blonde.
“Oh yeah, great. I’m sure he thinks that way. You don’t even know him. Not like I do.” Aubrey angrily said, wiping her tears.
“Well, maybe so. I just made some suggestions. I always make my dad disappointed in me because I don’t do as he says. Honestly, I just joined the Bellas so it would benefit me. He said if I joined a club and I didn’t like it by the end of the year, he would help me move to LA and fulfill my dream. But, then I joined and I felt this need to fix this group. To help it become better.”
“Wow, how great. You still would’ve left us after that year huh? Destroy everything and then leave, am I right?” The blonde looked up at Beca, glaring into her eyes.
“If you asked me a month ago, I would’ve said yes. But honestly, I can’t really think about leaving you all behind. I want to help you. And probably stay for these four years of hell. But I can only help if you let me.”
“Tsk, how would you even be able to help? Do you know how to think of a choreography? How to filter out all the musical instruments in a song so the acapella version sounds good? How to even put together an arrangement? I bet you don’t, so why would you be able to help?” Aubrey spat out.
“In my free time, I like to mix songs together. Create mashups. That’s my thing. I add the songs with a similar beat together. Chloe thinks they’re good. She listened to it last night and encouraged me to show you. Do you want to?” The brunette asked with a hopeful look on her face.
“The Bellas are shattered anyways, so why the hell not.” The blonde huffed, looking out of the window. Beca got out her phone and started playing a mashup of Bulletproof vs. Release Me. With each second that passed, Aubrey’s face softened more and more, until she turned to look at Beca. “Wow, this sounds really good.”
“You think? Even good enough to use it for our competitions?”
“Out of the question!” The blonde exclaimed, making Beca scooch back a little in shock. Then, the blonde chuckled. “We can consider it. But for the Regionals we have to go with our routine, we don’t have time to rehearse something entirely new.”
“Woah, is Aubrey Posen actually being nice and genuine to me? Wow, I think I must be dreaming.” Beca pinched herself and Aubrey slapped her leg playfully. “Well, I think we should head back.” The blonde nodded and the brunette sent out a text to everyone that she found Aubrey and they would be coming back to the auditorium. They jumped down the ladder and bumped into Chloe.
“There you are! I was so worried!” The redhead said, engulfing her best friend in a hug.
“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. I just needed to be alone.” Aubrey said apologetically.
“It’s okay. Let’s go back.” Chloe smiled and the three girls walked back.
x
The regionals were a disaster. If it wasn’t for Amy’s solo, they wouldn’t have advanced to the semifinals. Beca looked at Aubrey who looked like she was about to throw up. She decided to let it slide, but when they entered the entrance hall, she witnessed the Treblemakers fighting with what seems to be another acapella group. When she saw Jesse being begged to hit one of them who obviously looked like he was into that shit, she stepped down the stairs and punched the guy in the face.
“Oh, that was awesome! Do it again!” He exclaimed.
Fat Amy appeared behind the brunette and snatched the trophy out of Jesse’s hand, getting ready to hit the guy again. “Feel the fat power!” She shouted.
“Amy, don’t!” Beca yelled.
“Fat Amy, kick me in the balls!” The man shouted excitedly and Amy obeyed, hitting him right in the crotch. “Oh that hurt so good.”
“Amy, give the trophy back!” The brunette girl exclaimed, grabbing onto it.
“I want to put this sharp weapon up his ass!” The obese blonde said, pulling on the trophy.
“Oh, cherry on top!” The guy grinned, holding out his ass. But it would never come to it. The trophy suddenly broke in half and went flying through the window, smashing it. To their luck, there was a cop just standing outside who looked up from giving a van a parking ticket and walked towards them.
“Vertical running! I’m vertical running!” Amy exclaimed and ran away, leaving Beca standing there, alone, with half a trophy in her hand.
“Ma’am, I am going to arrest you because of destruction of public property.” The police officer said and handcuffed the brunette girl.
“This is a misunderstanding, really. Can’t we talk about this?” Beca smiled innocently.
“You can talk at the station.” The officer said, ushering her out.
“Fuck.” The girl mumbled.
x
After Jesse, or more like her dad, bailed her out of jail, she was beyond pissed. She knew that her dad wouldn’t be all too happy, but when he said she wasn’t allowed to move to LA anymore, she grunted. Way to ruin dreams. She stomped into her room, only to find all the Bellas waiting for her. Immediately, all her anger faded. “You guys waited up for me?” She smiled.
“Of course we waited up for you!” Chloe said, smiling.
“They waited here for hours. It was a real inconvenience, Beca.” Kimmy Jin said before leaving the room.
“Beca, I’m really glad that you are here.” Aubrey said, making the brunette look shocked at her. “Now that we’re all here, I’m calling an emergency Bella meeting.”
“Oh no…” Fat Amy mumbled.
“First up…” The captain said.
“Oh yes…” The obese girl mumbled again, making Beca snort.
“The score sheets showed that we were almost beaten by the Sockapellas. Fat Amy, you need to do things exactly like we rehearsed them, okay?”
“Have you considered that they almost beat us just because we were boring and Amy saved our asses?” The brunette girl chimed in. “We should be taking risks, it’s not enough to be good, we need to put ourselves out there, be different.”
Aubrey glared at Beca. “And you think your little arrangements will really help?”
“Uh, yeah? Mostly because they contain songs from this century.” The brunette shrugged.
The blonde scoffed. “Actually, no. We’ll perform this arrangement again, just like we rehearsed it. Your pseudo-mashups suck and you’re a grade A pain in my ass. I’m the captain and you don’t have a say in this group.”
Everybody looked shocked at their leader. Beca felt tears starting to form, but she swallowed them and glared at Aubrey. “Honestly, fuck you. Get out of my room. All of you.” When no one moved, she screamed. “Out!” The Bellas hastily picked up their stuff and went out, Chloe shooting the brunette an apologetic look. The blonde stared angrily at Beca but followed suit.
“Rehearsal at 8 am sharp.” She just said and Beca slammed the door shut behind her. Then she threw herself onto her bed and let the tears flow. “Why the fuck is she suddenly so mean?! She liked the mashups and even had some plans for a choreography. I thought we would be friends!” She thought and let out a loud sob. Apparently the blonde was a backstabber. Beca threw a pillow against the wall and tossed and turned until she eventually fell asleep.
x
The brunette hated the months until the semifinals. Aubrey was being unbearable again, so Beca went back to her snark and sarcasm. Yes, during the time where she showed the blonde her mixes and the regionals, the girl was actually being nice and refrained as much as she could from any comment. But since they were back to square one, why should she continue being nice?
The day of the semifinals was here, and Beca woke up, turning on the campus radio to listen to music when she got ready, something she did over the months, in the hopes that Luke would finally play her mixes. It started to frustrate her. Was she not good enough for him?
Suddenly, she almost dropped her eyeliner pen. The radio station played a mix. Not any mix, her mix. She quickly got ready and stormed as best as she could in her stupid outfit to the radio station. She barged in and walked over to Luke, excited. “You’re playing my song right now! This is my track! Do you like it? You put it on the radio, that’s so awesome!”
“It’s a sick beat. The DJ at the garage does a brilliant version of this, but yours? It’s better.”
“Hell yeah it is.” The brunette smiled.
“I’m gonna listen to her tonight. Wanna join me?”
“I can’t, I need to go to a competition. Otherwise I really would have.”
“Oh, flight attendant competition?” The blonde boy asked.
“No, the Barden Bellas. We have semifinals tonight.” Beca grinned sheepishly.
“I wouldn’t have pegged you as an acapella girl. Good look though.”
“Hey Beca, let’s go grab lunch before the performance!” Jesse spoke up.
“Sure, why not? Bye Luke!” Luke waved them goodbye and they went outside.
“I kept bugging him to listen to your mixes by the way. I saw that he always threw your USB-Sticks into the admission basket but he never got them out. I’m glad he finally listened to me.” The brunette boy confessed.
“Thank you Jesse! I was getting worried sick that he just didn’t think I was good enough.” Beca was genuinely touched. No one did that for her before. “I’m sorry about the other night. It just kind of ruined my dream of moving to LA after this year.”
“Ah, don’t sweat it. I’m sure if you talk to your dad you can fix this.” The boy smiled and they went into the campus café.
x
Beca hated it. She hated that everybody was nodding off. She hated that they were forced to do this again. She hated that the Footnotes were making fun of them. But most of all, she hated Aubrey. She had no clue what she did to mess things up, but it pissed her off that the blonde set their relationship back to square one. So she did what she could do best. Go against the captain.
When Aubrey started her solo, the brunette started to sing Bulletproof, earning the audience’s interest back. Even though the blonde shot her a glare, she didn’t care. Satisfied, she proceeded, like everything was normal.
After the performance, Aubrey stormed after her. “What the hell Beca?! Were you trying to screw us up?”
“Are you being serious right now?” Beca asked.
“Newsflash, this isn’t the Beca show.”
“Okay, I’m sorry that I messed you up, but in case you haven’t noticed, everybody pretty much dozed off during our set!” The brunette defended herself.
“It’s not your job to decide what we do and when we do it.” Aubrey spat back. “Why don’t you ask the rest of the group how they felt about your little improvisation?”
Beca looked around. Everybody was avoiding her eyes. “Amy?” She asked weakly.
“It was cool… It just caught us a little off guard…” The blonde in question replied.
“It caught us a lot off guard! I told you she wasn’t a Bella, Chloe.” Aubrey said, crossing her arms.
“Aubrey, don’t.” Chloe tried to ease the situation.
“Save it. You don’t have to pretend you actually have a say in this group. Thanks to General Posen, everybody is unhappy here.” Beca said angrily. “I really tried to save this group, I really thought I had a chance. Turns out I don’t and everybody is a backstabber here. I’m done with this group. Fuck all of you.” She turned around and stormed out of the door. She heard Benji calling her name, but she was too angry to talk to anyone right now. She went outside and called a cab, telling the driver to go back to Barden.
When she got back, she found a lot of text messages, mostly from Chloe, asking if she was okay. She turned off her phone and went to the garage where she was supposed to meet Luke. She got herself a drink and gulped it down.
“So, how was the competition?” The blonde boy asked.
“I don’t wanna talk about anything of what happened this night.” The brunette replied, looking at the DJ.
“Well, okay. Do you like her mixes?” Luke asked, following her line of sight.
“Yeah, she’s good. I don’t want to sound cocky but I prefer my mixes more.”
The boy chuckled and spoke up. “Listen, Becky. I want you to take over the radio station during spring break. Play your music.”
“Are you being for real right now?” Beca asked, her mouth open.
“Yeah. I want to go home and who better to ask than you?” He smiled and the brunette punched him playfully.
“Don’t you think I want home too?”
“Well, if you want to, I’ll just put something random together and loop it.”
“No, I was joking. I would be more than honored.” Beca smiled. “By the way, my name is Beca. Not Becky.”
“Well, why didn’t you say anything?” Luke asked, tilting his head to the side.
“I honestly don’t know.” They laughed.
“Well, I’ll be heading over to my girlfriend. See you around.” The blonde boy smiled and walked away, leaving the girl all by herself. She decided to have another drink before heading home.
x
Spring break was lonely. Everybody she knew left to go home, but she couldn’t due to her mom being in Europe. She spent day and night at the radio station, occasionally putting on some automatically generated playlist so she had a break of a few hours or could sleep. Those hours where she was awake were usually filled with Beca wondering what the Bellas were up to and if they missed her. She wondered if Aubrey still drilled them to death. She generally wondered what Aubrey was up to. She just couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that the blonde was suddenly so cold to her again. What in earth did she do?
She decided to go to her dad. As much as it pained her, she still had to convince him to let her move to LA. And maybe he could offer her some advice as to what to do with the Bellas. She sighed and knocked on his door.
“Beca? What are you doing here?” He asked.
“I need you.” She simply said and walked past him into the kitchen. Her dad immediately poured them her favorite tea and sat opposite of her.
“What happened, honey?”
“I quit the Bellas. Aubrey absolutely broke me apart. She just… She is such a bitch and so stubborn.”
“Well, you can’t go against everyone. Some people have to learn it the hard way that not everything works their way. I think Aubrey is one of those people.”
“It’s just so frustrating dad. She said she liked my mashups and we even started to become friends or something. And then suddenly she shows me the cold shoulder again, completely ruining whatever we had and she started being mean again.”
“Hm, maybe you said something that upset her? Not everyone takes your comments well.” Her dad suggested.
“Ugh, I don’t know. It’s kind of like she has shut me out.”
“Just like you do?” Dr. Mitchell asked.
“Huh?” Beca asked, looking at him.
“Well, you shut everyone out if you can’t stand being vulnerable around them. You shut me out too. I tried to make things right between us but you just wouldn’t let me.”
“It’s just easier, you know?” The brunette sighed.
“But also really lonely. Pushing everybody away, even those who you love most…”
“Dad, what do I do? How can I fix this?” Beca asked, looking down onto the table.
“It’s up to you. I would suggest waiting until Aubrey comes to you. Maybe she will have realized by now that the group doesn’t work without you.” Her dad said and hugged his daughter.
“Thanks dad. Will you still not let me move to LA?” The brunette asked.
“Well, I think you should fix everything here first and then decide if you still want to go to LA. Whatever your decision is, I’ll support you.” The man smiled.
“Thank you, dad.”
x
The last day of spring break came and the students came back. Beca was just walking back to her dorm from the radio station when she bumped into Aubrey. “Oh great.” She thought.
“Beca…” The blonde said, looking her up and down. The brunette knew she was in a bad shape. She was paler than before, lost a little weight and had bags under her eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Pf, since when do you care about me?” Beca said bitterly.
“I’m sorry about what happened, can we talk?” Aubrey asked.
“No, I don’t think so. Good day.” The brunette turned around and was ready to walk away when she felt a hand wrapping around her wrist.
“Beca… Please.” The voice was begging. Begrudgingly, she turned around.
“Fine, but not here. Let’s go to my room.” They walked to Baker Hall and into Beca’s room. “Talk.” She said after closing the door behind them.
“After you left, the Bellas fell apart. Like, really fell apart. Over spring break, I had time to reflect on this year, and I want to genuinely apologize to you. You were trying to revolutionize the Bellas, and I didn’t let you. I guess that was because you didn’t take any shit from me and always fought back. That made me furious, and I never knew why.” Aubrey chuckled. “I came to the realization that I really did control everyone and everything, and I scared people so much that they didn’t dare to talk against me. That was until you came along. You shook me to the core and opened my eyes. And I really like your mashups. I just felt really hurt when you said that this performance with The Sign and Eternal Flame sucked. I mean, I also put work in it so we could perform it. Just like you put work in your mixes.”
“But why did you have to be so cold to me again? I actually started to like you. You basically shut me out. Just like I normally do with people.” Beca sighed sadly.
“I just wanted to show you that we didn’t suck if everything went like it was supposed to. It honestly killed me that we went back to square one. But with your comments it eventually became easier to hate you again, because some things you said really weren’t nice. So I wasn’t nice, too. And I guess I went too far during the semifinals.” The blonde sighed. “I’m really sorry Beca. I want to start over. I honestly missed you.”
The brunette sighed and looked out of the window. She looked back at the blonde. “Even if I were to accept your apology, I couldn’t do anything. We didn’t advance to the finals.”
“Actually…” Aubrey said, making Beca look at her with interest. “Benji found out that the lead singer of the Footnotes was still in high school. We advanced into the finals. And I’m asking you, Beca Mitchell, if you want to arrange a killer mashup and plan out the choreography with me, making us win the finals and beat the Trebles?”
“Well. I will accept. But if you dare to break my heart again, I’m never coming back. Do you understand?” The brunette stated, holding out her hand. The other girl took it and shook it.
“You got my word.”
“Then you got my help.” Beca smiled softly.
Aubrey stepped forward and hugged the shorter girl tightly. “Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.”
The brunette awkwardly wrapped her arms around the blonde and squeezed her a little. “No problem.”
“Well, we will meet tomorrow at 2 pm. Will you drop by?” Aubrey asked, letting go of the girl.
“No, you suck, I got better things to do.” Beca sarcastically said. “Of course I’ll be there. See you tomorrow.”
They smiled contently at each other. “Thank you again Beca. You don’t know how much this means to me.” The blonde said before turning around and leaving the room, leaving the brunette behind.
Beca couldn’t explain it, but she felt immediately better. She was happy that Aubrey seemed to care about her. She missed the blonde just as much as the girl did her. She couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come.
x
The next day she was making her way over to the auditorium when she bumped into Jesse, who began telling her about his spring break. She listened, avoiding the questions what she did during that time. After a while she saw it already was 2:30 pm.
“Shit Jesse, I need to go. See you later!” She said, dashing to the auditorium. When she came in however, she saw that everybody was fighting. Beca took in the sight before her. There was vomit on the floor, where Lilly made… Vomit angels? It was disgusting. Cynthia Rose was obviously groping Stacie while the busty girl blew the rape whistle. The other girls stood around, screaming. Fat Amy, Aubrey and Chloe wrestled for the pitch pipe. “Woah, guys! Guys! Stop!” She exclaimed, making everybody stop in their tracks. “What’s going on here?”
“Nothing.” Aubrey said, standing up straight. There was a vomit stain on the blonde’s shirt, indicating she was the one who vomited.
“Doesn’t look like nothing to me. What happened?”
“We couldn’t live with this dictatorship anymore.” Fat Amy said. “We wanted to break free.”
Beca took in a deep breath and looked at Aubrey. “Well, what if I told you Aubrey and I kissed and made up and we’re going to arrange something new for the finals?”
“Wait, you two kissed?” Chloe asked, making both girls blush.
“What? No, it’s a saying.” The brunette stuttered. “Anyways, I think it’s important for us to get on the same level. Find our sound.”
“I agree.” The blonde said and threw Beca the pitch pipe, but she couldn’t catch it and it landed in the vomit.
“Well, maybe not here. Let’s go to the pool.”
They made their way there and Beca turned around. “Ok, here we are. Aubrey, would you pick out a song for us please?”
“Bruno Mars – Just The Way You Are.” The blonde answered, smiling.
“Okay. Chloe, are you okay with taking the lead?” The redhead nodded and Beca started with the intro.
Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinin'
Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her tryin'
She's so beautiful, and I tell her everyday
Grinning, Beca started singing Just A Dream.
Uh, uh, I was thinkin' bout her, thinkin' bout me, thinkin' bout us, who we gon' be (I know, I know when I compliment her, she won't believe me)
Her eyes wandered to Aubrey, who was looking back at her, smiling widely.
Opened my eyes, and it was only just a dream (And it's so, it's so sad to think that she doesn't see what I see)
It was only just a dream (But every time she asks me do I look okay? I say)
The Bellas began clapping and stomping to the rhythm, all clearly enjoying what was happening.
When I see your face (So I traveled back, down that road, Will she come back, no one knows)
There's not a thing that I would change (I realize yeah, it was only Just A Dream)
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are (It was only Just A Dream)
When I see your face (So I traveled back, down that road, Will she come back, no one knows)
There's not a thing that I would change (I realize yeah, it was only Just A Dream)
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are (It was only Just A Dream)
When I see your face (Face)
They finished and everybody was grinning from ear to ear, and Beca and Aubrey were staring at each other.
“Hands in, girls.” Aubrey said, holding out her hand. Everybody put their hand on top of hers, before they counted to three and, for the first time, made a perfect harmonized sound. That was, if there wasn’t suddenly a bass note. Chloe clasped her hand over her mouth.
“I’ve never made that sound before!” She said.
“Usually you aren’t supposed to. Chloe, what did you do?” Aubrey asked.
“I might have gotten rid of my nodes via surgery?” The redhead admitted sheepishly.
“Chloe!” The blonde gasped.
“Yo, with her messed up vocal chords, she can hit the bass notes. We could perform so much more songs!” Cynthia Rose spoke up.
“That’s true. I have a rough arrangement planned out in my head too.” Beca smiled.
“This is so nice.” Lilly suddenly said, loud and clear for everyone to hear.
“Woah, what?” Stacie gasped. “You can talk?”
“No need to shout.” Amy said, making everybody laugh.
x
The weeks before finals were filled with Aubrey and Beca planning out an arrangement and choreography, them teaching the Bellas and successfully mastering it before the finals. They grew closer, too, due to them staying up late together. Chloe found them more than once cuddled up in bed when they passed out from their sessions. The redhead smiled at the sight and took pictures for blackmail purposes later.
The day of the finals was finally here and everybody was nervous. They huddled up and watched the Treblemakers perform, having to admit that they had really outdone themselves. But they had the element of surprise on their side. When the announcer walked on stage, they turned to each other.
“I love you, awesome nerds.” Beca grinned.
“Yeah, you guys are the best. Even though most of you are pretty thin, you all got fat hearts, and that’s what matters.” Fat Amy said, making everyone chuckle. “Okay let’s just smash this!”
“Ladies and gentlemen, the Barden Bellas!” They walked onto stage and immediately received positive feedback from the crowd due them not being dressed like flight attendants anymore. They stood in formation and Beca began singing.
x
When they ended their performance, the crowd was going wild. They gave the Bellas a standing ovation as they cheered. Beca and Aubrey looked at each other with so much pride.
“Are they really cheering for us?” The blonde asked in disbelief.
“Yes they are, doofus.” The brunette replied, making Aubrey hug the smaller girl.
“Thank you for making this possible.”
They walked off the stage, and soon, the announcer told them the winners.
“On third place, the Hullabahoos. On second place, disappointingly, the Treblemakers. But, therefore, taking the first place and winning this competition…” He trailed off, letting the drum roll take over the silence. “The Barden Bellas!”
The girls cheered and ran onto the stage. Fat Amy took the trophy and lifted into the air. “We won, bitches!”
While the girls were hugging each other, Aubrey stood there, taking in the cheering crowd. Then she proceeded to look at her girls, especially at one girl. The one girl without whom none of this would have happened. She walked over to Beca, grabbed her cheeks and pressed her lips onto hers. The crowd cheered louder, but she didn’t care because the other girl kissed her back, wrapping her arms around the blonde’s waist. She could hear the Bellas whistling, and when she broke away from Beca, the girl smiled at her.
“So I take that as a sign that you like me?” The brunette said, smirking.
“Oh shut up.” Aubrey giggled and kissed her again.
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 05/12/2020
Earlier this week, I finished and released by end-of-year list of the Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2020, which, for once, was on time, being released on the 1st – or 2nd – of December, depending on your time zone. That means I’ve already spent hours discussing music, and to be honest, I have a pretty bad headache in addition to this, so you know, I’m not really in that chart-reviewing spirit. Thankfully, we have very few songs to review here, and a lot of it should be pretty inoffensive. Now, before that, let’s talk about the actual state of the charts because it is looking ridiculous. Ariana Grande’s “positions” spend its sixth week at #1, and welcome to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.
Rundown
Much like last week, it was an absolute bloodbath for any non-Christmas song this week, and this especially affects the hip hop and R&B on the chart. In the UK Top 75, which I cover every week, there’s a drastic difference to the US Billboard Hot 100, and that is the lack of radio. Radio impressions or plays have never been counted on the UK Singles Chart, and whilst in the States, I understand that a lot of Christmas songs rely on the radio, this is not true at all across the pond, because, for whatever reason, Christmas songs are streamed and bought a lot here even 60 years after the song’s original release. This is likely due to a smaller, arguably less diverse population and the immense amount of streaming service-curated playlists, which serve the same purpose as radio and often have the exact same label gimmickry and payola. Regardless, there is a stupid amount of drop-outs and fallers this week, for pretty big tracks as well. Now as I said I only cover the top 75 of the UK Singles Chart because it’s just easier and really, who cares about those last 25 songs? On the UK Singles Chart proper, Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved”, one of the biggest hits of 2019 and 2020, just spent its 100th week on the chart, which is insane, especially for a modern song. I think the song is dreadful but it is one of the biggest songs of all time here on the Isles, and since we’re going by my measures, it just dropped out (after spending seven weeks at #1, mind you). Of course, that’s not the only notable drop-out – and to be notable, you have to have spent five weeks on the chart or peaked in the top 40 – this week. Let’s list them, shall we? We have “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles, which spent 40 weeks on the chart, as well as #1 hit “Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)” by Jawsh 685 and Jason Derulo, “Giants” by Dermot Kennedy, “Mood Swings” by the late Pop Smoke featuring Lil Tjay, “Lighter” by Nathan Dawe and KSI, “Take You Dancing” by Jason Derulo, “Holiday” by Little Mix, “Tick Tock” by Clean Bandit featuring Mabel and 24kGoldn, “Come Over” by Rudimental featuring Anne-Marie and Tion Wayne, “Lasting Lover” by Sigala and James Arthur, “Holy” by Justin Bieber featuring Chance the Rapper, “One Too Many” by Keith Urban and P!nk, “Papi Chulo” by Octavian and Skepta, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals, “Deluded” by Tion Wayne and MIST, “Confetti” by Little Mix, “pov” by Ariana Grande (to make way for another one of her songs we’ll get to – also probably the only actually good song that dropped out this week) and finally, “Life Goes On” by BTS off of the debut at #10. On the chart proper, this is one of the biggest free-fall drops of all time, and honestly, who wasn’t expecting this? Speaking of falls, we have a lot of those too. Whilst these are fallers, you should consider how impressive they are for even trying to survive the holiday season, which just can’t be done for a lot of these songs, even the biggest hits of the year, some of which we just mentioned. One of the funniest parts of this to me is that KSI of all people survived the overload of Christmas songs through his Craig David chorus on “Really Love” with Digital Farm Animals down to #17. For a former YouTuber, he has an immense amount of star-power and it’s kind of worrying. Otherwise, our notable fallers include “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #24, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur at #25 (not a good week for either of these guys – or anyone), “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #26 off of the top 10 debut, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior at #27, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #29, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd stripped of all of its gains at #31 (seriously, whilst most of these songs were fading naturally prior, this is worrying), “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring NAV and Don Toliver at #34, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco at #42 (giving him four songs as a lead artist on the chart – OCC, that’s not how your dumb rules work; be consistent), “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio really having the most intense combination of streaming cuts and Christmas music at #44, “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes flailing at #45 (it will probably rebound next week), “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #46 (same here), “Golden” by Harry Styles at #47, “Loading” by Central Cee at #48, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #49, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #50, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee at #52, “UFO” by D-Block Europe and Aitch at #55, “Plugged in Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer at #56, “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey at #60 (which happened to play as I was writing this), “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #61, “WAP” by Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #62, “Diamonds” by Sam Smith having the biggest fall to #63, “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy at #65, “Chingy (It’s Whatever)” by Digga D at #69, “Come Over” by Jorja Smith and Popcaan at #70, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI at #71 and finally, “Flavour” by Loski and Stormzy at #74. A YouTube comment on the video version of this chart read, “RIP to hip hop and R&B in the UK, 2020-2020”, and, I mean, it’s a fair assessment. That’s not all though, folks, as we have the returning entries, most of which are very explicitly Christmas songs. Let’s start with “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #75, and continue up the chart with “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #73, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #72 (always the best song on the entire chart whenever it returns), “A Little Love” by Celeste from the John Lewis advert at #64, “Feliz Navidad” by José Feliciano at #54, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #57, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by the late Dean Martin at #54, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #52, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #43, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by the late John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #40 (always the worst song on the chart whenever it returns), “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #39 (this is an accurate ranking of the Beatles), “Jingle Bell Rock” by the late Bobby Helms at #38, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #37 and “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by the late Andy Williams at #36. Yes, that’s five consecutive Christmas songs returning to the top 40, made all the more ridiculous when you realise it’s topped off by “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X... at #41 – and it actually gained this week! Oh, and we don’t stop there either as not only do we have “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande returning to #16 as well, but we also have all of the gains this week. All of our notable gains are in the top 40 and all but one are Christmas songs, so let’s start with “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis up to #33 (our greatest gain this week) and continue up the chart with “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #32, “This Christmas” by Jess Glynne at #28, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard at #23, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #22, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Justin Bieber and Brenda Lee at #21 and #19 respectively, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #20, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John at #18, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #15 (looking at this chart, I think we ALL know exactly what time it is), “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens at #14, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #13, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring the late Kirsty MacColl at #9, “Last Christmas” by Wham! at #3, and finally, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey at #2. I don’t know if I’ll be happier if a 1994 classic hits #1 for the first time this Christmas, or an Ariana Grande song about sex positions takes the Christmas #1, given, of course, that LadBaby doesn’t pull something out of his ass last minute. Christmas also actually lands on a Friday this week, so there’s potentially two Christmas #1s: the #1 on Christmas Day and the #1 that includes Christmas Day. I mean, there’s this issue every year but since the chart week literally starts and ends on the day this year, I guess we’ll just have to see what the Official Charts Company decides. For now, after not-so-swiftly covering all of that garbage – and there’s three weeks more of it to come, folks – let’s discuss some of our new arrivals, none of which I imagine will be all that interesting but, hey, at least they’re not Christmas songs. In fact...
NEW ARRIVALS
#68 – “Body” – Megan Thee Stallion
Produced by LilJuMadeThatBeat
...It’s the antithesis of what it means to be wholesome, commercial and festive. You all know and love Megan Thee Stallion by now, and whilst I didn’t listen to that debut record yet – it is 17 songs after all – I have heard pretty positive reception so I will check out Good News at some point. Rico Nasty did release a record that’s only one less track and 13 full minutes shorter, so to be honest, I’m a lot more excited to check out that album, even if it won’t have any impact here. I did laugh at the track list when I saw “Intercourse (feat. Popcaan & Mustard)” though, which is one of the few times I have genuinely laughed at just a track list. “Shots Fired” is a pretty great Tory Lanez diss track though, so I’ll say that. “Body” is relatively deep into the track listing, yet seems to be the biggest hit, mostly because of that polarising earworm hook and the music video. Oh, yeah, and it straight-up samples a woman having an orgasm, so don’t expect this to stick around. In fact, that’s the only melody behind this dirty South bounce-adjacent track, and even with that, it only comes in on that chorus, which is less annoying to me as it is just catchy. It’s not like men haven’t done the same thing, though, I mean, Dr. Dre famously – or infamously – “paused 4 porno” on his album 2001, and just in 2018, Kanye released “XTCY”, a song that is hilariously lacking in any kind of moral compass, let alone born-again Christianity. It did the same thing that “Body” does with the moaning yet it also covers it in this really eerie sample, as well as spare 808s and a drum beat that doesn’t feel like it gets in the way of whatever the hell Kanye’s doing on this track. It also helps that the moaning doesn’t just come in on the chorus, instead we have a string swell to distinguish it, and that Kanye has more of a comical lyrical nature on “XTCY”. This comparison is only fair when looking at the production, though, as whilst Kanye has “sick thoughts”, Megan is just bragging about her own body-ody-ody-ody-ody, etc. over a pretty mainstream, accessible beat, even if it has really ugly, loud 808s that kind of do get in the way of the rapping here. Thankfully, Megan rides this beat forcefully – no pun intended – and with some really great wordplay, even if there are a few immediately dated references here and there. That third verse is also pretty funny, and whilst I don’t want to focus too much on this song – it’s a family show after all – this is pretty lively and whilst I’m not a fan of this beat, Megan makes it worth sitting through and honestly, the song sounds a lot shorter than it is. Check it out.
#67 – “Love is a Compass” – Griff
Produced by PARKWILD
I didn’t say the word “compass” on purpose knowing this song would be next, although perhaps I subconsciously snuck the word in. Maybe I should have made it seem like I foreshadowed this song, but honestly what about this warrants foreshadowing? I don’t mind Disney music at all. In fact, a lot of the films are full of really classic compositions that have aged incredibly, including the Renaissance era of their films, especially. In fact, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan – the original – is one of the few soundtrack songs that is directly related to and featured in the film yet I can still listen to outside of that context. I’ve not even watched either Mulan – or have Disney+ - so it’s not like I’m a big fan, but I can appreciate the music when I find it, even if I mostly despise everything Disney stands for as a company. The issue with this is that it cannot apply to “Love is a Compass”. I’m sure Griff and her producer PARKWILD are talented musicians, but this is purely a product. This wasn’t even made for an original animated feature, or a painfully weak adaptation of one of their original animated features starring Will Smith as the Genie. This is a generic piano ballad made for an advert, because just like literal shops and manufacturing companies like John Lewis, Disney has a Christmas advert. There’s nothing artistic about this. This “emotional” piano ballad is layered in reverb and egregious Auto-Tune that drains Griff of whatever emotion her delivery could have had. It doesn’t sound good in this context at all and it is so obvious, which is unfortunate because her voice, Auto-Tuned in a similar way, could easily work over more lo-fi and interesting production. As it is, this is repulsive, sonically and on every other level beyond that.
#66 – “Angels Like You” – Miley Cyrus
Produced by Louis Bell and watt
So, Miley Cyrus dropped her album, Plastic Hearts, last week and I expected more impact on the chart but the two singles are really THAT big that not any of the album cuts had much of a chance, even if “Prisoner” dropped a few spaces. Other than that, “Midnight Sky” is still in the top five and near the end of the chart, we have a debut: “Angels Like You”. It’s clear why this charted because this isn’t just a highlight from the album or a personal favourite of mine, but it’s a fan favourite honestly, a career highlight – which may not be hard to make, I mean, it’s Miley Cyrus we’re talking about – but it still impresses me with how much I really love this song. This is more of a mellow ballad than many of the tracks surrounding it on the record, with Cyrus’ raspy country twang finally met with a fitting blend of acoustic guitars and a genuine orchestral swell in the chorus, even if at times it decides to start clipping. The shift in guitar tone to a dirtier, aggressive one after the first chorus is a genius touch, and even the pretty stiff drum machine here feels like it adds a lot to the power of this song, especially when it starts kicking behind the screeching guitar solo, leading into an admittedly anti-climactic final chorus... that might even be fitting for the content, which is a break-up song but not one that decides to deflect blame or even focus entirely on the break-up, rather being an acknowledgement of what both parties here did wrong, and why they ended up in the relationship to begin with. Both Cyrus and her ex-girlfriend Kaitlynn Carter were in rough spots coming off of previous relationships in late 2019 and those dark spots are what Cyrus understands lead to the collapse of this relationship. She discusses the lack of connection between the two in the first verse, leading to a literally nameless relationship where it was full of romantic gestures but not any depth. The chorus is a complex look at how Cyrus knew she would look back on the relationship as little more than a fling, but how she regrets that this is her only view of the relationship. She didn’t want anything more and split after things started getting too serious, and feels genuine guilt for using Carter to heal her own depression, because “misery needs company”. She uses the biblical metaphor to demonstrate how she feels she tugged down her girlfriend, described here as an “angel”, to the hell Cyrus thinks she resides in, which may be melodramatic, sure, but I’d be lying if I said Cyrus doesn’t completely sell it here, with some of her best vocals to date, backed up by gorgeous production and really well-written lyrics. This is a genuinely brilliant ballad, give it a listen.
#58 – “Naughty List” – Liam Payne and Dixie D’Amelio
Produced by TMS
I’ve been writing these producers as “TM5” for so long without realising it’s an abbreviation for “The Music Shed”. Anyway, I hope we can all agree that Liam Payne is probably the worst off when comparing the One Direction boys and their solo careers so far. Harry Styles is one of the biggest stars in the world, making a twist on 70s classic rock that I don’t like at all but he IS making headlines and having massive chart success. Niall Horan is having mild success making rock and folk albums that are honestly alright, ZAYN has two albums under his belt that may not be listenable but at least the first one was a success and he did go into a more mature R&B direction, and Louis Tomlinson might not have been met with any success from his album earlier this year but at least there’s some quality there. Liam Payne, however, has been releasing straight garbage to no fanfare for the past three years, dating back to “Strip that Down” with Quavo, and continuing down the path of feigning maturity and development with music clearly not backing it up, demonstrated by the bisexual fetishism on his delayed debut album and how his collaborations went from relying on Zedd to relying on J Balvin to relying on TikTok stars on a sexually-charged Christmas single that couldn’t even crack the top 50. I have no idea who Dixie D’Amelio is other than seeing her sister’s controversies on Twitter in passing, but it is depressing that a major-label pop star needs D’Amelio to chart this high – and no, given his most recent singles with bigger features like A Boogie wit da Hoodie and Cheat Codes, as well as the shoddy performance of his last Christmas song, I’m not even considering that it’s the other way around. This immediately, in its first 15 seconds, makes sure you know this will be awful, with its tedious acoustic guitar strumming fused with cheap sounding sleigh bells and dated trap percussion, even with little “hey!” gang vocals straight out of 2014 that make this sound a lot less new and fresh than I think Payne thought it did. Also, something about these lyrics sounds really odd when you consider the age gap between the two vocalists. I mean, D’Amelio’s 19 years old, so it’s not like this is illegal in any way (and they didn’t have any chemistry to begin with), but the childlike imagery in the chorus just makes this gross. “Santa saw the things we did and put us on the naughty list”? This has less subtlety than 3OH!3’s Christmas song they released this year. Yes, that happened, and somehow the two washed-up early 2010s pop stars made a “dirty” Christmas song that is miles better than Liam Payne’s, probably because of the more interesting lyrical detail, and that, you know, it isn’t a duet. Check out “KISSELTOE” if you’re interested, it’s really good. I liked their comeback single with 100 gecs too so I’m pretty excited for whatever comes out of 3OH!3’s recent productivity. This song, on the other hand, as well as the upcoming joke, is just Payne-full.
#53 – “No Time for Tears” – Nathan Dawe and Little Mix
Produced by Tré Jean-Marie and Nathan Dawe
Okay, so, I understand the marketing of releasing a single after a long time of not releasing a single and after your singles have all dropped out of the chart, but Little Mix are just being managed horribly here. Why would you release a single in the Christmas season that you want to be big? This isn’t a holiday song in any way and doesn’t even sound like one, so releasing it this early into the Christmas season is just begging for it to be forgotten and eventually flop. Nathan Dawe is an EDM DJ so he doesn’t need this type of promotion as long as he can tour next year and he’s got big features, and Little Mix don’t need any extra singles because they’re still in the top 10 and they’ve branched out to reality television. Just let the girls breathe for a second and enjoy their success. Oh, and this song isn’t just logistically unnecessary, it’s sonically unnecessary, acting as a house-pop club banger with that standard piano sound reminiscent of 90s house that has been adopted recently by DJs, with any of the infectious melodies and genuine drive sucked out of it, especially if Dawe is going to add a Goddamn trap breakdown in the second verse with the most pathetic set of percussion I’ve heard in years on a house track. It’s not like Little Mix are saving this either because the lyrical content is re-tread and their performances are largely unrecognisable from each other and songs they’ve made before. Yeah, this isn’t offensive, but it isn’t interesting, outside of that bridge, but even then it builds up perfectly to a chorus that’s interrupted by a pointless, repetitious interlude. This song isn’t just uninteresting, it’s inherently unnecessary on all fronts, which if anything, is just kind of sad.
#35 – “All You’re Dreaming Of” – Liam Gallagher
Produced by Simon Aldred and Andrew Wyatt
Surely out of all of these songs, I’d have the most to say about our top 40 debut, with Liam Gallagher, former frontman of legendary rock band Oasis, and his new lead single, right? Well, no, because here are some unfortunate truths: Oasis made two good albums, and they’re not as good as you remember. Liam Gallagher is an awful person who continued to rip off his own band with his new one, without the songwriting ability his brother Noel had. Liam continues to be persistent in his making of enemies for no other reason than publicity. Noel’s reaching out to Liam for the sake of at least reconciliation goes completely unnoticed, ignored or criticised by Liam for no discernable reason other than an on-and-off again facade that’s been going on for more than a decade. Noel wasn’t even that great of a songwriter, relying mostly on musicianship and other people’s melodies he liked to co-opt for his own tracks. None of their solo work has been listenable yet still gathers attention that I imagine is to the dismay of those other band members in Oasis who, ultimately, made those classic albums as much as the Gallaghers. Where’s the praise for Bonehead, Guigsy or even Gem Archer, who stuck it out despite decreasing popularity, utter lack of musical quality and increasing tensions between the people who kept the band afloat until they decided to break up? Both Noel and Liam look at Oasis with regret or admiration depending on how they feel that day but when you look at who REALLY won that Britpop battle tabloids liked to hype up in the 1990s, you realise how far away Oasis was from Blur or even Pulp in terms of not only their songs but having their stuff together. This new song is complete garbage as well, with a pretty awful mixing job, Liam being as distinctively nasal and infuriating as he is with any of his songs let alone his uninteresting ballads, and the COVID-19 charity pandering that comes off as really false, especially since even after Noel released an Oasis track this year as a result of the lockdown – and Liam whining about how he wants to bring the band together to help the NHS – he criticised the honest release of the demo, which Noel wrote and sang himself. It’s also especially telling how the proceeds are only going to benefit charity for its first month of release. Afterwards, Liam and the label can scrape up whatever leftover streams they get from diehard fans. I don’t like Band Aid at all, in fact the song is pretty damn rancid, but at least they keep on recording updated versions to give to modern charities. Liam, you’ve got a bank account the average Manchurian would dream of. This charity single is a fraud, and a pretty hypocritical, immoral one at that.
Conclusion
I think on principle on how fake it is and how awful the song is, I have to give Worst of the Week to Gallagher... but I have a rule against crowning any kind of charity single with that title. At the end of the day, at least something at some point is going to the people who need it. Worst of the Week in that case goes to “Naughty List” by Liam Payne and Dixie D’Amelio, with a Dishonourable Mention to the product that is Griff’s “Love is a Compass”. Best of the Week should be obvious as it’s going to Miley Cyrus for “Angels Like You”, with an Honourable Mention to Megan Thee Stallion’s “Body”. Here’s this week’s top 10:
May I remind you this is the first week of December? Anyway, I doubt Shawn Mendes will make anything through the barrage of holiday tracks, but if he does, that’s next week. Thank you for reading and follow me at @cactusinthebank for more ramblings of this sort, I suppose. See you next week!
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Episode 138 : Learned From The Best
Very sadly, my father passed away at the start of this month, after suffering with a serious illness for some time. While I'm devastated to see him leave, I feel lucky to have had him as long as I did. The show this month is a departure from the normal format, and after a short intro you'll get an uninterrupted selection of records that I either learned about from him and his collection, that he played in the car, or that I'd put him up on in a couple of cases. I hope you enjoy it.
Peace, Dad.
Twitter : @airadam13
Twitch : @airadam13
Playlist/Notes
Tracy Chapman : Mountains o' Things
This 1988 album was on loop in the car when my dad had it on cassette! Nowadays, I don't know if it's one where everyone just knows the singles, or the kind of album that everyone else knows front-to-back too. I could have chosen pretty much any track to start the show, but this one is as good as any and sets a nice tempo for some of the other important records I wanted to include.
Pharcyde : Runnin'
This was on a compilation tape - I don't know which - but you'll know it best as part of the "Labcabincalifornia" album. The beat is of course an early-career classic from the great J Dilla.
Mariah Carey : Long Ago
Dad was a big Mariah Carey fan - as am I - and this was definitely his favourite track from the "Daydream" album, which was in very heavy rotation when it came out! She produced this one alongside Jermaine Dupri and Manuel Seal.
Busta Rhymes : Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check
One time I tried to slide the radio edit of Tim Dog's "F*ck Compton" by in the car, after taping it off the radio. It did not go well. I would never have categorised my father as a Hip-Hop fan, and he wasn't, but when he came to pick me up at the end of the first year of university and this (granted, as part of a compilation) was playing on the tape deck? Colour me surprised :) "The Coming" was one heavy solo debut, and gave us this undeniably classic track.
Platinum Pied Pipers : Fever
Detroit flavour right here. I did one of my Fathers' Day mixtapes in 2007 and had to include this 2005 cut from the "Triple P" album, which you should definitely check out if it passed you by. Waajeed and Saadiq are the producers in charge, with Zeno taking the lead vocal.
Terri Walker ft. Mos Def : Guess You Didn't Love Me
Another track that I introduced to him on a Fathers' Day mixtape, it was a then-new track with the smoothness and sophistication of soul singers a decade preceding. A great track from Ms. Walker's debut "Untitled" album, which was just the start of her highly-respected career.
The Modulations : Rough Out Here
I used to see this album cover as a kid and think their outfits were kind of funny - but then, they were from a different place and era, and I now know that those flares and big lapels were no indicator of any kind of sucker-dom! It took me a long time to get round to actually listening to and appreciating the "It's Rough Out Here" LP, but I have to say that they killed it with this opening track.
Rasputin Stash : Middle Man
The cartoon-style front cover of this album, with the names of many of the tracks incorporated into the artwork, always used to draw me in, and the name of the band was a curious one too. Coming out of Chicago, this band had a hard road but still put out great music, such as 1974's "Devil Made Me Do It" which this track is drawn from.
Chic : (Funny) Bone
The "C'est Chic" album, which I remember well from the crates in the house, contains the famous "Le Freak", of course, but the whole LP is well worth listening through. Tucked away at the very end of side B is this mostly-instrumental groove workout, which fit perfectly here.
Assagai : Telephone Girl
I used to see this LP in the house and be amazed at just how raw and in-your-face the front cover was - a man dressed like a Southern African warrior, with arms raised in triumph, and text so bold it looked like it was about to jump right off the sleeve. I didn't actually hear the album for many years, but when I did, I discovered that this London-based group of African expats had the heat!
Stevie Wonder : Boogie On Reggae Woman
I can 100% remember the first time I heard this record, with my dad playing it in my childhood bedroom on a music centre (bet you haven't heard that term in a while!) which transformed out of a suitcase! I don't hear it as much as some of the other Stevie dancefloor tunes, but while this track from "Fulfillingness' First Finale" might not be a favourite for everyone, it'll always be special to me.
B.T. Express : Once You Get It
When I found this LP in the house and started playing it as a teen, I was amazed at how much of it I recognised - it must be one of the most heavily sampled albums of all time! The "Do It ('Til You're Satisfied)" LP from this Brooklyn band is an absolute must-own for all lovers of the funk.
James Brown : Ain't It Funky Now (Part 1)
I didn't realise for ages that my dad actually had two copies of this, which was a surprise since as far as I know, he didn't invent beat-juggling back in the 70s :) The actual vinyl is the compilation "James Brown Soul Classics Volume 3", which, because it was one of the only things around that we had two of, was actually the record I learned to loop doubles of when I started the road of learning to DJ!
Harry J Allstars : Reach For The Sky
This instrumental reggae album ("Liquidator") is a classic - I think I pulled it out from my dad's stuff because of the front cover with a young woman having just shot someone down with a Tommy gun, but had no idea what to expect musically. Amongst other things, there's a Stevie Wonder cover, a track sampled by the UK artist Rebel MC (now Congo Natty), and this great tune. I always loved it, right down to the way it ends - and so, I thought I'd play it all the way through as the closer to the episode.
Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!
Check out this episode!
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7% in The Meaning of Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey — MC is talking about her dad; chapter, The Father and the Sun I’m just shocked at — well, I do recall people talking about how Mariah Carey grew up in a mixed-raced family and how her father wasn’t really around and that she grew up mostly with her mom; but I’m listening to the audiobook and it’s interesting to hear her talk about her father and seeing the songs that she wrote for him and explain his tragic young experiences as a black man in the military, a young black man with a white wife and mixed kids. I’m sure it wasn’t easy on his psyche or her siblings, especially her brother. She illustrates that amazingly, I can hear Michaela Angela Davis’ influence in this backstory. It’s all very interesting. I’m enjoying this book on Audible and reading the text as I go because I want to hear all the flourishes in her voice as she sings these little ditties. I’m not disappointed in this respect. I’ve always loved MC’s voice as a child. Her and Whitney were my two favourite singers before I got introduced to MJB & Björk.. Anyway, I hate audiobooks because I find that they take so long to get into and to read — they say 10 hours but might as well be 15 days because you have to actually listen instead of letting your mind process, which is infinitely more intriguing. Imagine letting someone tell you a story for 11 hours. My g, I don’t care who you are, halfway through you’re just exhausted no matter how much you love the story/book or person. Don’t even get me started on singular explanation/purpose-based nonfiction or psychology audiobooks, it feels like they’re trying to brainwash you with their inflections, tonality and intense audio explanations of their theories, research and hypotheses. I can’t. Audiobooks are a different reading experience for me, I’m relatively new to Audible; but I do love MC’s voice and could listen to her for at least 1 hour per day. Gotta read the text alongside to make sure I don’t miss anything lol! Her story is fantastic so far. It’s just what I expected, but her voice makes it into something so much more.
#chantel’s reading notes#goodreads#self isolation#quarantine#chantel’s reading diary#currently reading#reading notes#mariah carey#the meaning of mariah carey
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13x01 Thoughts/Review
Okay, I know the episode aired 5 days ago. I actually did watch it late Wednesday night and wrote down some random thoughts while watching it. But I haven’t gotten around to posting it until now. I’ll put it under a read more link since it’s very long and ramble-y
Everything is happening so fast!
*whispers* Why are the cars arranged in the spots they were in before they got hit by the truck?
After seeing the sneak peek, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Garcia going out with Simmons as opposed to trying to help from the office. But I actually liked that she went (it is her family after all) and I loved her rushing over to help in any way she could.
Wow, I’m surprised they actually showed a body for Walker. It wasn’t Damon, but they showed it so we saw a body and knew it was Walker without really seeing the face
Also: WALKER NO!! YOU DESERVED BETTER!
So, was Walker clearly dead? Like, did he look clearly dead? Did Luke check and see he was dead before he helped JJ? Because Garcia is instantly sad and Luke is all “he’s gone”. He had to clearly be dead since we didn’t see Luke check for a pulse or anything (unless he did it before).
But man, poor Walker. It just sucks that it’s all happening like this. HE DIDN’T DESERVE TO DIE! Luke’s line could have been delivered a little better. I mean, he was basically “Yo, he dead”. I get everyone’s shaken up and everything has happened so fast, but I felt he could have shown a bit more sympathy to the fact that Walker (who was sitting in the backseat of the same car as him and was his teammate) is just dead now.
So JJ got glass in her scalp and can’t see, and Walker is dead. But Luke is fine. Luke’s side of the car was the one that got brushed but it wasn’t hit that hard. How did JJ and Walker get the beating and not Luke? I can see Luke walking away fine, it does happen (speaking from experience) and it did look like it was more the front tire/side area that got hit, but did the car hit something on the other side that would account for JJ and Walker’s injuries?
I hate myself, because all summer I’ve been thinking “watch them say Walker did of whiplash”. And then Scratch tells Emily he died of whiplash. Hell fucking no that is not an acceptable way to kill Walker. Please tell me Scratch was being vague. Because it looked like Walker’s face was pretty messed up/bloody? But come on, whiplash is a terrible way to make Walker die. I know it’s possible to die from whiplash, but I don’t think it’s that common? Unless he really got tossed around so much that his head/neck snapped/turned really fast. I just wish they would have gone into that a bit more.
Rossi’s leg is injured, JJ can’t see, Walker is dead, Tara is going into shock, Prentiss is missing. Well, fucking shit!
Again, this feels so rushed. But it makes sense since that’s how stuff works in this situation.
Reid got to the hospital fast. But where is Morgan? Is he with Reid’s mom? Because how could Reid just leave his mom? No way he found someone or a place for her that fast? Is she just with other FBI agents? And Morgan was supposed to have breakfast with Reid. Since the premiere picks up immediately after the finale, I have a hard time imagining Morgan and Reid already had their breakfast. And if Morgan was with Reid, if Reid had to bail, Morgan would know what’s up since he was aware of what the team was doing. But also, if Morgan did know, I can’t see him leaving knowing Prentiss is missing, JJ, Rossi and Tara are injured and one of the team is dead (I know Morgan didn’t work with Walker, but Walker worked with Morgan’s friends, so I could see Morgan staying for moral support, especially for Garcia). Also, isn’t it still night time? Would Morgan have even stopped by Reid’s yet? Like, did he show up but Reid wasn’t there? Because again, Morgan knew the team was going after Scratch, so you’d think he’d put two and two together and at least call Garcia and see what’s up.
So Reid called Will and JJ said someone needs to call Monica. Is anyone going to call Hayden or Joy and let them know about Rossi?
LOL ROSSI! Rossi is in zero fucks mode.
“You’re back on the team” “Did the director approve that?” “BITCH I’M IN CHARGE NOW YOU MOFO SO LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE PUNK!” Basically what Rossi was saying.
“Ass clowns” LOL! That needs to be a new phrase
Okay, so if Walker’s only purpose was to come in and catch Scratch, couldn’t he have just done case work from the office? If he was only there to solve the Scratch case, why was he going out on cases with the team and not doing Scratch work? (Okay, he was, but we didn’t really see it). He could have spent more time focusing on Scratch if he wasn’t going out on cases with the team as well
YASSS HOTCH MENTION!! See, writers, they said his name and no one spontaneously combusted!
But also, FUCK YOU SCRATCH!! What a dumb piece of shit. You can do whatever the hell you want to Prentiss, she would NEVER give up Hotch’s location. No one on the team would if they knew.
Did I already say Stephen Walker deserved better? Because he did. I’m not ready for poor Monica.
Ohh, Reid caught onto the AH in the texts.
That’s right, Reid! Hotch and Prentiss would never be dumb enough to easily expose themselves like that.
Yes Garcia, figuring out it was set up!
And yes, new guy for figuring out Walker was setting up the anonymous texts!
Reid ushering Garcia and Simmons out of the room and they’re like “Okay dude, wtf?” Garcia was all “I’mma just grab my computer real quick, bro.”
“He’s had a rough few months” YEAH YOU THINK?! Y’all have had a rough year though girl!
So, is Tara still alive? Could someone mention her? Is she in surgery? I need to know!
WILL!!!
UGH Walker gave JJ the front seat. GUILT!!!
But why does seat position matter? HOW DID WALKER DIE?? Whiplash just seems so vague. I mean, even if he sat in the front, he could have gotten still gotten whiplash. (Yeah, I know, JJ would still feel guilty because there’s always that “what if” scenario, but stil…)
Wonderful Will and JJ scene. LOL at Rossi telling them to get a room.
Aww, Will’s staying with Rossi while JJ goes to be with Monica and Luke.
But seriously, where the fuck is Tara?!?!
Aww poor JJ. But I get Monica not wanting to be touched/hugged in that moment. That’s exactly how I would feel.
Out of curiosity, does the team know Monica besides her just being Walker’s wife? Have they ever really talked to her or met her before?
Wow, they’re showing a body again! It’s not Damon though (obviously). But I appreciate them actually showing something. It makes it more sad than if they just showed the body bag but not actually showing the body (it would have been even more devastating if they actually had Damon)
Stephen Walker deserved better.
Monica talking to Walker was so sad! Tracie Thoms nailed that scene! From her wondering how to tell the kids to telling Walker she would handle it then the “see ya” before she pulled the sheet back over his head! UGH THE FEELS! And then she broke down and Luke and JJ comforted her.
Stephen Walker and his family deserved better. Just in case I haven’t already made that point.
This episode should have been titled “Stephen Walker deserved better”
I’m literally crying. Criminal Minds, you better not kill JJ, Prentiss, Reid, Rossi, Hotch, Garcia or Morgan because Walker was only in 15 episodes and I’m FUCKING DEAD!!
Speaking of Morgan, WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!?! All I need is a simple name-drop (Is Morgan the new Hotch? If you say his name the reaper appears?)
“Jack is 13.” Actually, if anyone bothered to do the math, he should be 12. He was born in Fall 2005. It’s Fall 2017 now. 2017-2005=12. Actually, he shouldn’t even be 12 yet, since this episode picks up right from 12x22, which I believe was May 2017, but I digress…
YASS EMILY TELL THAT FUCKER TO FUCK OFF!!! “I love Jack. I’ve watched Jack grow up.” THIS TEAM IS A FAMILY, GUYS!!
I’m just so happy we’re finally getting Hotch mentions. I get Thomas is gone, but I was disappointed when last season they really sort of forgot about Hotch after episode 6 and never really mentioned him. I wasn’t expecting a name drop every episode, but come on. He was their boss and friend and they knew him for more than a decade. Just because he’s in Witness Protection doesn’t mean he’s completely safe (his wife did die after all…). Even if he was totally safe, I’d still be worried about him and thinking of him. I suppose maybe enough time has passed that they feel they can talk about him again
Now I just hope they remember Morgan exists!
ANGRY REID!! Totally understandable!
Scratch keeps asking where Hotch is. Talk about obsessed *cues Mariah Carey’s song “Obsessed”*
Yeah, Prentiss is obviously not dead, but I’m still intrigued!
What the fuck is this scene with Garcia and Simmons?!? It’s like naked church yoga with gagging. “So much for no creepy weirdness” Love you Garcia!
LOL at Rossi just using Luke instead of crutches :D
Oh good, y’all remembered Tara exists
That’s right, Prentiss, catch onto Scratch and his tricks!
Gah, of course Reid’s included in the text. What you do that for, Garcia? “Reid’s not in a good place right now.” Yeah no shit.
HELL YEAH PRENTISS!! YOU BITE HIS EAR!! That was fucking amazing! She should have gone full Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead and ripped his throat out
So glad Prentiss made Reid stay with her. I definitely think it was partly because she really did want a good friend with her after the ordeal, but also because she didn’t want Reid to have to deal with more stress
HAHA GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE SCRATCH!!
As much as I loved Luke just watching and letting Scratch fall to his death, I was really hoping for Prentiss and Tara and even Reid to be the ones to kill him. It should have really been Emily or Tara. But he’s dead so whatever.
Actually, you know what would have been a good way for Scratch to die? With the entire team shooting a thousand bullets into him. They did this in the season 13 finale of NCIS with one of their bad guys. See this for reference: https://youtu.be/tPnkug2rwIU?t=2m3s
LOL at Luke nonchalantly saying Scratch is down. And then “He fell trying to escape”. Technically not a lie
THANK YOU FOR LETTING HOTCH AND JACK BE HAPPY!! I never understood the people who said Scratch couldn’t die because then they wouldn’t have a story for Hotch. Umm, yes, they do. I’ve said it along: catch/kill Scratch and say Hotch and Jack are out of the program and Hotch decides not to return. I mean, in 12x06 they said Hotch sent in his resignation. They just needed to make him stick to it, which he is.
Funeral scene is sad. Monica is hugging JJ this time. I love Monica!! I really liked her in 12x20 and thought she and Walker had a nice relationship. It’s a shame we didn’t get to see more of it. And it’s a shame we didn’t get to know Walker’s kids more or see Walker with them. It’s a shame we just didn’t get to know Walker more.
I liked Monica saying Peter Lewis was the reason Stephen was dead, not Emily. And her saying Walker can rest easy knowing he helped bring Scratch to an end. UGH!! My feels! Stephen Walker and his family deserved better (I don’t think I made that point yet ;D )
You know who should become friends? Aaron Hotchner and Monica Walker. And Jack and Eli can be friends. That family has a lot of shit they can bond over. Jack and Eli are probably around the same age, so it could be a thing!
Wheels up!! That was a nice scene. I liked that Prentiss said that phrase was what kept her fighting and made her realize the team was out there fighting. And I also like to think it was a nice little tribute to Hotch.
As much as I liked the ending, I think that end scene would have made a good series finale ending scene
As glad as I am that we got Hotch mentions and he and Jack are doing well, it would be nice to know where they are. Are they staying wherever they were in WitSec or are they returning to Virginia? I mean, they would have had fake identities when in WitSec, so you’d think they’d have to move from there? They can’t just be Tommy and Sam one day and then the next day be like “LOL JK those aren’t our names”. Hotch and Jack could move back and Hotch doesn’t need to come back or be seen even if he’s in town. But a little conformation would be nice. Just like I also want to know where Morgan is living now and what he’s doing for a living.
Also, I know we can’t get TG, but I would love if they had Hotch and Jack move back to Virginia and we could see Jack hanging out with Henry! I want to see teenage Jack!
Very good episode! There were little things here and there that maybe could have been tweaked a bit, but it was still very good. I do wish we could have gotten a bit more on Walker and his death. I get though that they couldn’t really grieve Walker in the episode while Prentiss was missing since they had to try to save her. And since the firing of Damon was sort of thrown at the writers, they probably did the best they could.
Again, it was a good premiere. One of the better episodes in recent years. I can be a bit hard on the writers sometimes, but they can actually produce some quality episodes. Come on writers, you can make some really good episodes, so I’d like to see some more like “Wheels Up” :)
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Blind Disaster
Dean Thomas could not believe his luck. He couldn’t keep a boyfriend, his best friend is getting married in a week and his ex-girlfriend is now married to a wealthy athlete. Dean continued to look through his wardrobe for his navy and white jumper.
“Oy! Thomas hurry the feck up,” said with a huff from his best friend Seamus Finnigan. Dean rolled his eyes at him and sighed again for the 12th time in 30 minutes.
”Listen Seamus, I did not want to go on this stupid blind date in the first place,” Seamus huffed once again and threw the book he was reading on the bed.
”Okay listen mate, I know you don’t want to go on this date but trust me, the lass I have set up for you tells me she’s liked you since Hogwarts!. You have to give her a chance for me Deaney. I promise you will not regret it. Plus! I heard through Ron that she is still as hot as we remembered.” Seamus practically screamed as he jumped up onto Deans bed.
Finally happy with his appearance, Dean pulled his shoulder length locs back and danced in a circle to give Seamus a view of his outfit, ”Shay, you keep going on and on about this girl who is like in love with me since Hogwarts, but who the hell is she? Why does it have to be a blind date? And I’ve only liked 3 girls during Hogwarts Ginny, Ariel, and Macey. Besides you’re getting married in a week. I should be planning your bachelor party.”
Seamus laughed. He knows Dean left out one special girl on purpose. He paced back and forth trying to think of a way to calm Dean down. He’s been on the outs ever since Seamus married Pavarti a few months ago.
”First off, I got married two months ago. This is our official wedding and Dean listen to me we are only 30 and you are freaking out about this date for no reason. You know this person, you talk to this person all the time. Well not all the time mate but you know. You know her and she has confessed her sexual attraction to you many times over” Seamus was trying his best to drop hints but Dean was completely ignoring him as he put on his coat and boots and headed for the door.
”Shay I’m going to be late, it’s 7:45 now and I get what your doing but all of our friends are sexually attracted to me. See ya mate!” and with a pop Dean was gone. ”Well he does have a point,” Seamus said to himself as he picked up a muggle picture of him, Dean, Luna, Harry and Ron. “The man is sexy!” Following Dean’s lead Seamus apparated home to his wife to tell her how ridiculous Dean was being. Hell, Dean had forced him to go on a blind date with Parvati first.
Dean fidgeted with his pocket watch as the time turned 8:05pm. His date was late, probably stood him up or something. This was really starting to piss him off, until he saw her walk into the room. Is that who he thinks it is?
”Oh my god Dean?!” Luna Lovegood rushed to his side of the table to pull him into a hug. “I am so sorry I am late. Seamus gave me the wrong address and I ended up down the street and had to walk 15mins to get here. I am so going to slap that man.” Luna placed her purse on the chair and picked up a menu not waiting for a response.
Dean was honestly shocked. Here was a 29 year old Luna Lovegood, with a new short haircut and makeup on. Her eyes were still wide and wandering and still as crystal gray as ever. He watched as Luna played with her earrings, which were just live shrunken pygmy puffs. She looked so different with her hair cut in a bob, it fit her nicely. She encouraged him to loc his hair stating, ”If you ever got locs, you would look so good I would have to give myself to you” then apparting away like she hadn’t said something out of the norm to him.
”Uh Dean?” Luna asked staring at him as if she was trying to look into his soul. He hated when Luna looked at him like that. It meant she was trying to read his mind. Which she could do so he always kept his thoughts positive around her. He did not need her knowing about his sad love life and the fact that he was slightly and only slightly, in love with her.
”Hey yeah sorry! I was just shocked that it’s you and especially with all your long blonde hair being gone. What sparked the change?” He reached across the table to play with her hair a bit.
Luna giggled at him, “Well I remember someone saying his favorite haircut on any woman was an asymmetrical bob. So I the know-er of all spells, turned my hair into a bob for this date. I was going to turn it brown but then I would look regular. I mean how many black women or as my horrible muggle boss loves to say half white women, do you know with bleach blonde hair and gray eyes?’
Dean laughed a real genuine laugh at Luna’s story. She didn’t smile though. At all, she looked more like the girl from Hogwarts who got picked on. She had this dreamy look on her first like she was about to say something so out of this world, but she didn’t.
”Hey Luna, I like the way you look no matter what. I mean lets be honest here you and I both know how hot you are. The bob does turn me on a bit but you’ve always been hot and beautiful to me” Dean felt his cheeks heat up as Luna’s wide eyed expression stayed on her face as he spoke. Luna looked away from after his little speech. She couldn’t believe Seamus didn’t tell Dean she was his date. She knew they were coming on this date but he didn’t, and she was fuming and crumbling all at once.
”Sorry to intrude on your thoughts this way Dean but, I was not aware this was a blind date for you. I asked Seamus if you had said yes yet to finally going out with me and he told me yes. I feel stupid and tricked and lied to. It’s obvious you’re shocked that it’s me and while I can be very unknowing, I am no fool Dean Thomas and your horribly cruel best friend Seamus “Fecking” Finnigan will pay for this.” Luna then got up and walked right out the same door she came through.
Dean left a $50 bill on the table and ran after her. He saw Luna duck into the apparition check point behind the small green rubbish bin in the alley next to his favorite bar. He was too late, he heard her disappear with a pop followed by a gust of blue air. God she was amazing. The only witch he knew who could apparate with a show of color to follow. He knew she was going to Seamus’ and he apparated into the apartment to open the door before they did. Dean landed right on top of Seamus screaming out a rushed sorry as he pushed Seamus back down and opening the door to met Luna. Who by they way looked furious but what concerned him more was that she also crying.
”Seamus Finnigan how dare you lie to me about- oh Dean? I’m sorry I’m hear to yell at Seamus as you well know. Now move Dean Thomas or you shall be moved.” Luna proceeded to push Dean out of her way as if he weighed nothing. ”Luna wait!” Dean tried to stop her but it was too late. Luna entered Seamus and Parvati’s home with her wand pointed at him and her eyes trained on Parvati. She was never a fan of her to begin with. ”Mrs.Finnigan your husband lied to me and made me believe that Dean knew he was going out on a date with me. I showed up excited to finally go on a date with me and guess the hell what? Dean did not know!” Luna’s eyes never left Pavarti and her mouth never spoke any other words but Seamus’ right pants leg started to smoke. ”Bloody hell Luna! That was not appropriate. You do not try to jinx my husband!” Pavarti stepped forward and Dean stepped in front of Luna. ”Pav look, Seamus lied to her and it was wrong. Luna just feels tricked that’s all!” Dean grabbed Luna’s hand and led her to the door.
Seamus ran into the hallway. “Luna wait! It wasn’t a trick I swear. I wanted to tell Dean but I thought it would be best if he didn’t know it was you. He would have backed out, he thinks you’re to good for him!” Seamus shouted down the hall. Dean froze and Luna’s tears continue to roll down her brown skin. “Seamus! I told you that in private!” Seamus snorted at Dean’s embarrassment ”What? Dean you told me that at a karaoke bar as we sung Mariah Carey”
”Seamus this was cruel! Very very cruel of you. This reminds me of Hogwarts. You know how much I like Dean. You knew back then in Hogwarts too. Even tried to convince me to ask him out as we redid our 7th and 6th years. I’ve had enough of being bullied as a child, teenager and even as an adult. But I never never thought you would do something like this to me too. It happened once at Hogwarts with Jason Tiller and I will not be the butt of anyone’s joke any damn more” Luna shoved Dean off of her arm and apparated away.
Six months had passed since his blind date with Luna and no one has seen or heard from here since. Dean went by her father’s place and even by her mother’s burial plot. He went by her job the next day but her boss said she quit. No one answered her door and she changed her wards. Seamus felt guilty as well. He tried to send apology letters to her but they just ended up at Dean’s place. Which worried him even more. This was not like Luna at all. She told him everything, especially when she went on one of her disappearing acts. Pavarti is still livid, but Seamus informed Dean that she’s actually mad at him and not Luna, which Dean is grateful for.
Luna is his best friend. Well, obviously Seamus is his best friend, but Luna is completely even with him. Traumatic events bring people closer together. Being trapped in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor, really solidified the ever growing bond he had with Luna. If he had known that Luna liked him so much he would have went on that date no convincing necessary. He wrote to Luna, and none of his letters were returned, but none were responded to either. He had just sent his last letter off 30mins ago but Bailey also never returned. Luna lived two blocks away. Bailey should have returned by now. Dean started to a write to Luna asking if she is keeping Bailey as punishment to him, since she was a gift from Seamus but He heard Seamus swearing outside of his door.
”Dean open up now,” Seamus rapped on his door as he screamed in gaelic. Bemused,Dean swung open his front door to see Seamus being pulled by his ear by Hermoine. ”Hello Dean, I haven’t seen you in 2 days. Glad you invited us over. I received a letter from Luna Lovegood informing me of everything that has taken place between the 3 of you and something about Pavarti being a mean old hippogriff” Hermoine looked around Dean’s apartment as if she wasn’t just over last week for dinner. As she spoke, Seamus rubbed his ears with a hiss, but more importantly Hermoine walked right over to Dean’s mirror and refused to face it or even stand poised with her legs closed.
Dean cocked his eyebrow and studied her some more before walking over to where she stood, ”Hey Moine, listen just tell me where she is so I can go to her” ”Well I can’t really do that Dean.” Hermoine looked Dean over. “ I promised her that I would keep her location a secret. Besides I came here to find out a bit of information from the two of you” ”Well what is it you want to know Mrs.Weasley?” Hermoine circled Dean’s ottoman before she sat down bending her legs to the side before she spoke up, “Seamus here tells me you’re secretly in love with Luna but he had to lie to get you to go on a date with her because and I quote, ‘she’s too perfect for me’.”
Dean smiled as Hermoine’s smoldering face turned into one of curiosity. ”You tell me, are you who you say you are? Or are you the same 5th year who fell in love with me and told me Ginny Weasley would not be great for me? Or are you the 6th year girl in the dungeons encouraging me to keep it together and to not be afraid, while also holding on to me for dear life? Or are you the scared 21 year old who came over in the middle of the night because she was afraid that she would stay a virgin forever and never birth any children, due to her first ever heartbreak. Or are you the 25 year old woman who kissed me so passionately on new years night she had to disappear for 1 month to study the mating rituals of the new species of gnomes she found in her backyard. Or are you the 29 year old woman who tried to set my real best friend on fire?,” Dean walked over to Hermoine and pulled her in close.
”Because unlike Hermoine, Luna I know your stance and more importantly the way you sit from anywhere. Also I know that’s you Ginny, Seamus is actually already here. He’s in my bedroom taking a nap before he has to go into work tonight. Please turn yourselves back into who you are so I can kiss my hopefully future wife.”
Ginny folded her arms and huffed as she started to turn back into herself, “Fine whatever you say Dean, but Luna we will talk about what he said later.” Ginny stalked off to wake Seamus up, leaving Luna and Dean alone. ”Are you not going to turn back into the sweetest, bravest and most bad ass woman I know?” Dean asked as Luna kept up her Hermoine appearance. ”I don’t know, are you going to stop being a coward and ask me out? Or should I turn into the sexy muggle mail man from you’re mother’s street?”She asked clearly amused by Dean’s new found ego. ”I mean I do love me that mail man.” ”Well I guess I better hurry up then and turn back into myself so I can see if those lips still got it.” ”Oh they do baby trust me” Luna giggled and broke free from Dean grip running for the door. ”Hey where are you going?” ”If you catch me I promise I won’t tell anyone about your crush on the mail man and I will probably kiss you and I will most likely marry you. But only in the veeerryyy far future.” and with that Luna apparated out of his apartment, leaving Dean to follow her red colored magic to their favorite place. Shell cottage.
#dean thomas#luna lovegood#harry potter#hermione granger#ginny weasley#seamus finnigan#pavarti patil#hogwarts#fanfic#fan fiction#masterlist
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25 Years Of Super Bowl Halftime Show Lineups, Ranked
On Sunday, tens of thousands of rabid football fans will descend upon Atlanta for Super Bowl LIII. They will consume lots of alcohol. They will paint their faces. They will scream and howl as the Patriots and Rams engage in brutal 22-man warfare with the highest possible stakes. Oh, and about two hours into this, they will all pause everything to watch a 12-minute Maroon 5 concert.
The Super Bowl halftime show has become the spectacle within the spectacle. It used to be filler entertainment while the players hydrated and tended to their wounds. Now it serves a higher purpose. It is about world peace, joy, introspection and even grief. It’s also sometimes about giant metallic lion puppets and dancing sharks.
How are we to interpret these hopelessly silly, desperately hopeful rituals? By ranking them, of course. At FiveThirtyEight, we don’t have the technology to make slideshows, but we do have math and a history of applying convoluted methodologies to questions that don’t really need answers. So let’s get started.
Methodology
First, we need to manage expectations: We are not ranking halftime performances, rather the sheer star power that the NFL assembled on stage each year. We’ll talk about how the shows went, but only in relation to their artists’ success on the Billboard Hot 100 chart before the Super Bowl. Our methodology favors shows with many artists because they’re more likely to excite an audience diverse in age and musical interests. Purists may have enjoyed the simplicity of seeing The Who perform without any interlopers in 2010, but anyone who wasn’t excited by a few 60-something British rockers playing their decades-old hits was left with bupkis.
We chose Michael Jackson��s 1993 halftime appearance as the starting point for our analysis. His performance — widely considered one of the best — is the beginning of the modern halftime show. Viewer ratings for the 1993 show exceeded ratings for the actual game, and a blueprint was formed for years ahead. To get a sense of how MJ changed the game, note that the previous year’s show included a salute to the 1992 Winter Olympics and a bunch of kids performing a rap arrangement of “Frosty the Snowman.”
To measure the success of the featured artists — excluding cameos from the likes of Jessica Simpson, who kicked off the 2004 show by asking the audience to “choose to party” — we created a metric called Performer Points. Our methodology for calculating these points is simple:
Artists are assigned points for each of their songs to make the Billboard Hot 100 list since the list began in August 1958.
A song appearing at No. 1 is worth 100 points.
A song at No. 100 is worth 1 point.
We count each week separately, so songs rack up points for staying on the chart.
Performers listed as the main artist on a track get full credit.
Featured artists or guest vocalists get only one-third of the song’s points.1
Performers get one-third of the points from their former band’s hits. That means Paul McCartney gets only a small boost from hits by the Beatles. The weights compound, so if an artist’s former band was merely featured on a song, the artist gets one-ninth of the song’s points.2
If any of that seems confusing, let’s look at an example featuring one of this year’s performers, Atlanta rapper Big Boi.
When we add up all the points, we can see how successful the artists were for every Super Bowl. Here’s what that looks like for the 2019 halftime performers.
Super Bowl LIII nets a respectable 65,065 total Performer Points. That’s seventh on our list of best Super Bowl lineups since 1993. We’ll see whether that translates to a memorable show on Sunday, but the past five years could give us a sense of whether our methodology has any predictive power.
Rankings
It’s easy to dunk on the Black Eyed Peas, and their uninspiring halftime show in 2011 didn’t make it any harder. Fergie, will.i.am, Taboo (!) and apl.de.ap (!!) closed out their headlining set with “Where Is the Love?” on a giant stage shaped like, you guessed it, the word “Love.” The only problem was that part of the letter “v” was literally missing. Now at least we have some data to back up what everyone was thinking the next day: Usher should have headlined. By 2011, he had already reached Billboard’s top 103 with 14 tracks, including classics such as “My Boo” and “U Remind Me.” Usher went into the halftime show with almost twice as many Performer Points as the Peas, and though he performed one of his weaker hits, “OMG,” he still managed to hit every cue, leaping over will.i.am’s head and into our hearts.
I have a confession: I’ve always thought of the 2012 halftime show as “the one with Nicki Minaj.” Looking at the chart, it’s clear there’s recency bias at work — Minaj has become unavoidable since 2012. But at the time of the Super Bowl, her only top 10 hit4 was “Super Bass.” Madonna, on the other hand, stands on top of our individual power rankings with more than 59,000 Performer Points, thanks to her trove of hits dating back to the 1980s. Credit to Madge for almost single-handedly dragging this riot of grecian beefcakes and vogueing into the top five — Katy Perry and Lady Gaga could never.
I’m glad to see our formula isn’t totally set on picking shows from the past 10 years. The “Salute to Motown’s 40th Anniversary” in 1998 had all the intergenerational appeal that Madonna’s show was supposed to capture. The choreography seems a little hokey by today’s standards, but I could listen to this medley all day. Queen Latifah brings it, The Temptations sound fantastic, Boyz II Men gets a solid ballad in, Smokey covers all the old bases and Martha Reeves is so harmlessly, indescribably awful that you can’t help but smile knowing that social media didn’t exist back then.5
Super Bowl L — er, 50 — was billed as Coldplay’s performance, but the NFL let halftime show veterans Beyoncé and Bruno Mars “crash” it. This was a blessing for anyone not named Chris Martin. Both guest stars had more Performer Points than Coldplay, and they stomped away with the show. Beyoncé, dressed in a black leather homage to the Black Panthers, debuted6 “Formation” right there on the field and reminded us of just how powerful this 12-minute musical interlude can be.
We didn’t tweak the weights to get Nipplegate this high up, I promise. You can see on the chart why it’s such a good show. Janet Jackson was an appropriate headline pick, both in length of career and volume of hits. Nelly and P. Diddy were established emissaries from the rap genre, which the Super Bowl has rarely invited on stage. Justin Timberlake had teenybopper loyalty from his *NSYNC days and a new, prurient edge as a solo artist. And Kid Rock was … also there. Of course, nobody remembers anything about this show other than the words “wardrobe malfunction,” and I don’t think any chart could change that, so let’s leave things there.
You may be wondering where your favorite halftime show falls on the list. As we mentioned above, it’s a rough measure of the excitement people might have felt before the show began — Prince may be the best performer ever to take the halftime stage, but if you weren’t a fan, then there wasn’t much to anticipate. On the chart below, you can see how all the artists compare.
All the data we scraped also allows us to answer one final question: Which artists should the Super Bowl reach out to for the 2020 show? Assuming the league is aiming to please a range of viewers, we can grab the top 10 artists by Performer Points for each decade since 1990, as well as from the past two years for the Gen Z audience.
Drafting a Super Bowl halftime show fantasy lineup
Artists with the most Performer Points, by decade
1990-1999 2000-2009 2010-present 2017-present 1 Mariah Carey Nelly Drake Drake 2 Madonna Beyonce Rihanna Post Malone 3 Boyz II Men Ludacris Nicki Minaj Cardi B 4 Whitney Houston Kanye West Taylor Swift Kendrick Lamar 5 Janet Jackson P!nk Bruno Mars Khalid 6 Celine Dion Usher Maroon 5 Ed Sheeran 7 R. Kelly Rihanna Katy Perry Migos 8 TLC 50 Cent Chris Brown Imagine Dragons 9 Elton John Nickelback Lil Wayne Bruno Mars 10 Toni Braxton Alicia Keys Justin Bieber Halsey
Gray text indicates that the artist has already performed at a halftime show, that the artist has died or that a member of the group has died.
Unlike in the rest of the analysis, points earned as a member of a musical group do not count toward an artist’s individual points.
Source: Billboard
Drake would be the biggest get here for the NFL. Starting in May 2009, Drizzy held a spot somewhere on the Hot 100 for 430 weeks straight. Since 2010, he’s amassed 83,898 Performer Points. The closest runner-up in that table is Rihanna, who collected 48,153 points during the same period. If halftime producers haven’t already approached Drake, they’re sleeping on him.
It’s impossible to know who on our list has talked with the NFL. Stars are rarely as open about Super Bowl negotiations as Cardi B was this year, when one of her representatives told Page 6 that “she was not particularly interested in participating because of how she feels about Colin Kaepernick and the whole movement.” (Rihanna also reportedly declined to perform because of her support of Kaepernick.) Taylor Swift, for instance, seems like an obvious candidate. But she has shilled for Coca-Cola — a relationship that could be at risk if she were to perform in the halftime show that Pepsi has sponsored for seven years running.
Whomever the NFL picks next year, the pressure is on. Asking Maroon 5 to headline a show in Atlanta, a city abounding in talented rappers (Big Boi is the only homegrown artist on the bill), resulted in a social media backlash, and a petition with more than 100,000 signatures has urged the band to drop out to demonstrate solidarity with Kaepernick. USA Today even went so far as to publish an obituary for the halftime show as a cultural institution.
That seems a little premature to me. The Super Bowl has evolved before and could do it again. What used to be a variety show writ large, with inscrutable themes,7 Elvis impersonators and card tricks eventually embraced the market-certified success of singers like Michael Jackson and *NSYNC. The collective shrugs following picks like Coldplay, Justin Timberlake and Maroon 5, which has the second most Performer Points of any artist on our list, may herald the end of that era.8 The league has clearly taken note of this year’s controversy, announcing that the pregame press conference with Maroon 5 would not take place so that the artists could focus on their performance. What might come next for the halftime show is anybody’s guess, but one thing’s for certain: Everyone will be watching.
All images courtesy of Getty.
from News About Sports https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/25-years-of-super-bowl-halftime-show-lineups-ranked/
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