#but my friends were genuinely confused about what I was laughing at because nobody else even registered it as a 'joke'

[littlegreenwyvy]

A lot of the more 'drastic' effects that I got within the first few months of HRT have mostly subsided.

But one thing that seems to be 'staying' is that I can giggle myself into a laughing-fit the likes of which I and my friends have never seen. "Are you laughing or crying?" is a phrase I hear at least once a week, and which goes unanswered for a good several minutes before I'm able to regain my composure (the answer typically being 'both' by that point).

Being happy is cool :>

[once-upon-an-imagine]

What Was I Made For? - James Potter

A/N: well, it looks like this keeps on working so... I hope you guys like it!

Anonymous asked: Request for hufflepuff black!reader x James with the prompt "Forget it. Just like you forget everything else." Where reader has never had a fun birthday celebration and usually ignores her birthday but James promises to do something fun for her and gets her hopes up but then stands her up accidentally (with happy ending please). Thanks so much <;33

Warnings: this is super angsty! (and super long) but it has a happy ending; mentions of abuse and overall a not happy family life, reader feels weird for not really knowing how to express her feelings; let me know if I missed anything

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D  

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

What Was I Made For?

Think I forgot how to be happy Something I'm not, but something I can be Something I wait for, something I'm made for

12:08 a.m. Your birthday was over. And he didn’t come. Of course, he wouldn’t come. You kept looking at your watch feeling a tiny bit of hope that he would come running any second, apologizing for being late. But, deep down, you knew it wasn’t going to happen. You sighed, running a hand through your hair, and decided to finally leave. You were angry. But not at him. At yourself. You should have known better. You never should have trusted a word he said. Because he treated you as if you were the center of his universe. And you were stupid enough to believe him. Because that’s what James Potter did. He made you feel as if you were the only thing that mattered to him. Damn him and his stupid beautiful smile. The one that got you into this mess…

“You actually want me to believe that you need my help in Potions?” you insisted as he raised his hands in surrender while you pointed your wand at him. “Why are you asking me?”

“B-because you’re top of our class-”

“That’s not true. Severus Snape is” you insisted.

“First of all, I would never ask Snivelly for help” he rolled his eyes. “And secondly, I doubt that’s true since you are a year younger than us and are already taking Advance Potions-”

“So ask Lilly Evans then-?”

“Evans hates me-”

“So do I!”

“Wait, y-you do?” he asked, confused, stepping away from your wand. He sounded genuinely hurt.

“I…” you weren’t able to continue. You never really hated James Potter. You hated him because you were supposed to, weren’t you? “D-don’t you?”

“I don’t hate you” he informed you. “Why would I?”

“Because Sirius does! And you’re his best friend” you told him. James noticed the hurt in your voice and in your look. He knew you missed Sirius.

“Your brother doesn’t hate you” he insisted and you scoffed, looking away and lowering your wand. “He doesn’t!”

“Look, Potter, you don’t have to lie, okay?” you glared at him a little. “Isn’t your father a famous potioneer? Shouldn’t you be good at Potions?”

“Yeah, he is… you gotta love the irony, love” he smirked.

“Don’t call me that!” you glared at him. “What if Sirius finds out?”

“He won’t” he assured you. “And I honestly don’t think he would mind if he does” he tried.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Isn’t the loveliness of my company enough, love?” he asked but he saw you raising your wand at him and he put up his hands in surrender. “Fine… what do you want?”

You thought about it for a moment. Nobody had ever asked you what you wanted. Not really. You were always just told what to do. And then, you thought of the one thing you had always wanted but could never do.

“Um… if I tell you… do you promise not to tell anyone? Or um… laugh at me?” you said, feeling your cheeks burn as you looked down. James had to admit, he had never seen you like this. You always looked so confident, like everyone else in the Black family.

“I promise” he said, making you sigh.

“W-would you teach me um… how to uh- f-fly?” you asked in a small voice, James wasn’t sure if he heard you correctly.

“Um… didn’t you learn how to fly in your first year?” he asked, confused.

“Look, it’s a long story. Are you in or not?” you asked, going back to your usual self and James let out a small chuckle.

“Fine. It’s a deal. You teach me Potions, I teach you to fly” he said, putting his hand so you would shake it. Which you did, pulling him closer.

“And Sirius is not to find about this, is that clear?”

“Perfect.”

And that’s what it was. Perfect. For the following months, you and James spent a lot of time together. In the beginning, you found him incredibly obnoxious since he kept trying to become your friend. Which he quickly managed. You let your guard down and found yourself actually liking his company. And then, it grew into more. You never thought it could happen, but it did. He had somehow become your favorite person. Granted, not many people talked to you so, it wasn’t hard. But if there was a word you would use to describe James Potter was, enchanting. And you quickly fell for him. And you hated it. Because now, here you were. Tired, hungry, alone, and upset. You made your way to the Kitchens, hoping that you could at least get some leftovers from the Elves.

“Miss Black” one of them greeted you happily. “We thought you weren’t going to make it” he said, making you frown in confusion.

“M-make it? What do you mean, Blim?” you asked, confused as two other elves carried a basket your way.

“Mr. Potter asked us to save this for him but he never came” he explained, confused. “Said it was really important for Miss Black’s birthday” he instructed as they handed you the basket. You felt yourself smiling a little but quickly wiped it away. He never came.

“Thank you so much, Blim” you told him.

“You’re welcome. Happy birthday, Miss Black” he said, as they waved you goodbye. You thanked them happily, after all, they were the only ones that had wished you a happy birthday, and then you made your way to your dorm.

“Hi, Ophelia” you greeted your beautiful black cat.

At least she showed up for your birthday. You changed into your pajamas, played some of your favorite music on your record player, and sat on the small seat you had created against your window to go through the picnic basket only to find your favorite food. He’d remember. Everything was perfect, even the cake. Except, he hadn’t been there. He promised he would and you believed him. You knew Gryffindor played today. You knew they won. But he promised. And you believed him.

But again, it was your fault, really. You should have never let him in. You should have never told him what your favorite food was. Or why you didn’t know how to fly. Or that nobody in your house wanted to share a dorm with you anymore. You shouldn’t even have told him that today was your birthday. Well, yesterday. Because you now understood what he felt for you. It was pity. It wasn’t love.

“Alright, are you ready?” he asked, holding up the broom.

“Actually… I’m having second thoughts about this. I don’t want to do it” you said, nervously.

“Come on, love. I promise you’re gonna love it” he insisted.

You had grown accustomed to him calling you love by now. No matter how much you begged him, he wouldn’t stop. And no matter how much you tried to deny it, you were starting to like it.

“B-but what if I fall?” you asked, making him smile at you adorably and grabbing your hand.

“I promise I would never let that happen” he said sincerely. “But… we don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to” he assured you.

“No, it’s okay” you said, unconvincingly. “I just… need a minute” you told him, sitting down on the grass of the Quidditch pitch.

“Look, I know you’ve told me not to ask why you didn’t learn to fly sooner so…” he said, sitting down next to you. “May I ask why you want to learn now? Why is it so important to you?”

“I don’t know” you said, quietly as you started playing with the grass next to you. “My mother has told me not to my whole life” you informed him. “She always said it wasn’t for ladies” you said, bitterly. “On my first year, she sent an owl saying that she may not be able to control which house her disappointing daughter was sorted into but I was not to ride a broom, and well… you know nobody wants to go against Walburga Black” you said with a sad chuckle. “I always wanted to learn because Siri and Reggie- um… Sirius and Regulus both know how to and they love it” you continued. “I guess I wanted to have something in common with them” you smiled sadly. “Are you… are you crying?”

“I’m sorry” he said, wiping away the few tears on his cheeks. “That was just… um, w-well, every story Padfoot tells me from your home it’s just…”

“Sad, I know” you said as James composed himself. “You can say it” you told him.

“Is it… as bad for you as it is for Sirius?” he asked, worriedly.

“A little” you admitted. “At least Sirius has you, Remus, and Peter” you smiled a little.

“You have me too” he said, placing your hand on top of yours and making you look up at him. “You know that, right?” he asked, feeling his heart beating faster when your smile got bigger.

“You’re sweet, James” you said, surprising him a little. “What?”

“I think that’s the first time you call me by my first name” he smiled.

“Oh, s-sorry, um-”

“No, no” he chuckled. “I liked it” he assured you. “I um… I like you” he said, feeling his cheeks blushing.

“Y-you do?” you asked, breaking James' heart at how genuine your question sounded. As if you were actually confused as to why someone would like you.

“Of course, I do” he said, cupping your cheek gently.

“A-are you about to kiss me?” you whispered.

“Is that okay?” he asked sweetly and you nodded smiling before James gently pressed his lips against yours.

You had no idea what you were feeling. Your entire body felt as if fireworks were exploding everywhere. Never, in a million years would you have thought that kissing James Potter would feel so perfect, but now that you knew, you never wanted to stop.

“Alright. I think I’m ready” you said once you pulled apart. James smile at you and got up, offering you his hand to help you. “Y-you promise I won’t fall, right?”

“Promise, love” he said, pulling you closer and kissing your hand.

Lies. From that moment. You never should have fallen for him. How could you have been so stupid? James may have been right, every story from your childhood was extremely unhappy, but you had never felt so empty inside. Having a best friend who then turned into something more and you were sure that you felt was something that you had never felt before, and now it was gone.

You hoped listening to sad songs would help you cry but your eyes seemed dry. You felt the pain in your heart, which was weird. You never felt that before. But you thought you might as well cry. James said it might help whenever you felt upset. But it ended up being him who cried. And not you. So, you were about to just go to bed, when you heard someone knocking loudly on your door. At 1:47 in the morning. You sighed, rolling your eyes, and quickly ran over to open the door, revealing nobody on the other side.

“James, what the bloody hell are you doing? You’re going to wake up my entire house!” you said, pulling him inside and closing the door as he removed the cloak around him.

“I’m sorry, love! I am so sorry I’m late! I swear I lost track of time!” he slurred out.

He was drunk. Really drunk. He was still in his Quidditch robes, drunk out of his mind.

“Potter, you’re-”

“No, no, no! Please don’t call me Potter” he said, walking closer to you and grabbing your hands. “You only call me that when you’re mad” he pouted. “I know I screwed up but I promise I will make it up to you, love!”

“James, you’re drunk-”

“I know! There was a party because we won and I swear I was just going to be there for a few minutes b-because I’m the captain a-and I just lost track of time and-”

“You should leave” you said, quietly, avoiding his eyes. You knew you would cave if you looked into his beautiful doe-eyed face. And you had made up your mind.

“No, no, sweetheart, please I want to make it up to you. Please give me a chance!”

“You are drunk right now-”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry” he insisted. “I can- I just need to-”

“James, please. I’m tired and you’re drunk. Just go to bed” you said, firmly. “We can talk tomorrow if you want to” you told him.

“I don’t want you to be alone” he said, his eyes tearing up. “It’s your birthday!”

“It’s no longer my birthday so… you can go” you said, getting upset.

“I don’t want to leave you” he said, getting closer to you and cupping your cheek softly, making you look at him. “Please, love. I am so sorry” he said. “Please talk to me, just tell me how I can make this right. You can yell at me! You can throw things, I deserve it-”

“James, I don’t want to yell at you” you said, sighing tiredly. “I just want to go to sleep” you told him.

“I don’t want to leave you, love” he said, with a few tears escaping his eyes and bringing you closer. He was about to kiss you and you smelled the Firewhisky in his breath so you pulled away and he kissed your forehead instead.

“Fine” you sighed. “Y-you can stay but I’m tired, I just want to go to sleep” you gave in.

“Okay” James said, feeling his eyes welling up. He couldn’t believe he had failed you. Just like everyone else in your life. He fucked up. He slowly walked over to your bed and sat down. “Is… this okay?” he asked nervously.

“Sure” you said, sounding exhausted.

You threw yourself on your bed, turning your back to him and James quickly climbed next to you. You instantly felt his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you to him. You sighed deeply, preparing yourself for what was to come. You were going to miss him. You knew that much. You hated how used you had become to him. How regular it just seemed for him to show up and spend the night with you. So, you took it in. His scent, his touch, everything about him because you knew it would be gone by tomorrow.

“I’m really sorry, love” you heard him say before he kissed the back of your head.

“Just… go to sleep, James” you whispered back and it wasn’t long before you heard his snores.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The next morning, James woke up to an empty bed, and the realization of the night before quickly came flooding back into his mind. He quickly sat up and saw you on your desk, writing on some parchment.

“Um- w-what time is it?” were the first words that came out of his mouth and he cursed himself. He was beyond stupid.

“It’s still early” you replied as you continued doing whatever it was you were doing. “If you hurry, you can still go to breakfast before your friends wonder where you are” you said, quietly.

“N-no. I don’t want to go to breakfast” he said, walking over to you. “I want to apologize and talk to you” he said, looking down at the parchment you were working on. “W-what’s that?”

You finished writing and stood up, handing the piece of parchment to him with a serious expression on your face.

“A list of people who are not Severus Snape that can tutor you in potions” you simply said, trying to make your way to your window seat.

“W-what?” he panicked.

“I have your things here” you said, handing him a box with his things. “Oh” you said, realizing you were wearing his sweater so you quickly took it off and placed it on top of his things. “Sorry” you said, and you felt like you were freezing.

“Wait, you’re- you’re breaking up with me?” James asked, placing everything aside and walking closer to you. “Please, just… hold on a second. I promise I can explain-”

“James” you said, taking a step back. It unnerved James how calmly you were talking to him. Like you did in the beginning. Like your walls were up again and he meant nothing more than a stranger to you. “I just don’t think that this is working” you said, silently.

“Please, don’t do this, love! I swear I want to make it up to you” he said as a few tears started falling down his cheeks.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I love you!” he shouted a bit louder than he intended to. “I know I fucked up and I am so sorry! But please, love, just give me another chance, I swear I didn’t mean to miss it-”

“That doesn’t matter, James-”

“Yes, it does! I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, I understand that! But this is a fight, I- I can make it up to you and w-we can go back to the way it was-”

“Why would we do that?” you asked, confused.

“Because that’s what couples do!” he insisted.

“We’re not a couple, James” you said, sounding broken.

“Yes, we are!”

“No, we’re not. You never asked me to be your girlfriend. We’ve never gone out on a date. You barely talk to me outside these walls-”

“You said you didn’t want Sirius to know about us! I told you I didn’t care!”

“That doesn’t make a difference, James!”

“Yes, it does! Because I love you!”

“No, you don't!”

“Yes, I do! I love you so much and I know you love me too!”

“Okay, now you’re just being ridiculous, Potter” you said, with a sarcastic chuckle as you tried to walk into your bathroom but James blocked your way.

“No, I’m not!” he said, softly as you tried to look away. He gently cupped your cheek with his big, strong hand and slowly lifted your face so you could see him. Not even a sign of tears while his eyes were flooded. “Tell me you don’t” he said, quietly.

“E-excuse me?” you asked, confused.

“Tell me you don’t love me” he said. “I know you’ve never said that you love me but whenever I tell you that I do, you smile and you kiss me! You’ve never said that you don’t! So, tell me you don’t love me” he insisted.

“James!”

“No! If you want to break up with me, at least talk to me first! You at least have to tell me how you feel about me!” he argued.

“You wanna know how I feel about you?” you snapped pushing yourself away from him.

“Yes!”

“You really want to know how you make me feel?” you said, getting upset.

“Yes!”

“I have no idea how you make me feel, James!” you snapped, breaking James’ heart. “Y-you make me feel happy and angry, and scared, and sad, and crazy, and warm, and vulnerable, and like I can break at any moment, but I somehow know that I won’t because you won’t let that happen but then I feel so lost if you’re not there! And I feel weak and confused, and-” enchanted. “And, alive and like I can float, and sure but unsure at the same time, and like I can be myself and I want to try to be a better person but it wouldn’t matter because you still look at me with that stupid grin! And- and-” you said, trying to take deep breaths. “I don’t know! It’s just a lot all at once and I don’t know how to handle it and I don’t like it!” you said, trying to catch your breath. “I don’t like it, James!”

“Okay, okay!” James said, quickly walking over to you and placing his hands on each side of your face. “Breathe, love, please” he said quietly, as you slowly tried to catch your breath and stop shaking. James was now fully weeping but a small smile formed on his face. “Sweetheart” he said, quietly. “That’s love” he told you.

“W-what?”

“What you’re feeling” he explained. “That’s love” he insisted.

“How do you know that?” you asked, confused.

“Because that’s exactly how I feel about you” he said as you managed to even your breathing again.

“I don’t like feeling scared” you whispered.

“I know, love” he smiled. “I know, and I’m scared too-”

“Then why would you still want to be with me?”

“Because I love you” he repeated. “And… you’ve made me the happiest I’ve been and I know that I fucked up yesterday, I do, but I promise I will make it up to you and, if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you make me, love” he said in a serious tone.

You took a deep breath. You wanted to. You really did. You wanted to know what was on the other side and if you could live a ‘happily ever after’ that you read in so many stories when you were a kid. But this was real life. And you couldn’t break James Potter like you broke everything else you touched.

“No, James” you said, pushing away from him.

“B-but-” he tried but you walked away, going to your bathroom.

“Please, James. Just… forget it. Like you forget everything else" you said sadly before you walked inside, locking the door and your heart broke when you still heard him cry.

James turned to look at the box you left with all of his things. He couldn’t bring himself to take it. He needed to make things right. He walked out of your dorm and your house and made his way over to the Gryffindor Tower, not even caring about breakfast. He plopped himself on the furthest sofa, and after a while, he heard giggling and a group of girls walking over to him.

“Hey, Potter” Marlene asked. It wasn’t usual to see him without his three friends and his energy was entirely different today. “You okay?”

“Um… can I ask you, girls, something?” he said as Marlene, Dorcas, Lily, and Alice sat around him. “I would ask my friends but… in this particular subject they all are just… useless” he chuckled sadly.

“Is it about a girl?” Alice asked.

“Well… yeah” he admitted.

“Oh, Merlin it is! Who is it?” Dorcas asked, excitedly.

“I can’t… say it out loud, Sirius can’t know!”

“He’s your best friend, why can’t he know?”

“Because it’s his sister” Lily smirked.

“What?” the other three reacted shocked.

“How did you know?” James asked, confused.

“I’ve seen you in Potions” she shrugged. “You two are cute together” she smiled. “So, what happened?”

“Well, we had been seeing each other for a while now and yesterday was her birthday and I promised her that we would do something and I had this whole picnic planned in the Astronomy tower but… I lost track of time and-”

“No!” Alice said, her smile dropping.

“You didn’t!” Dorcas frowned.

“You forgot?” Marlene asked, slapping his arm.

“I didn’t mean to! We were playing with our secondary team because we had so many hurt players, I didn’t think we would win! And then we did and I started drinking and I just lost track of time!”

“You are unbelievable potter!” Marlene glared at him.

“I want to make things right! I love her and I’m pretty sure she loves me to-”

“Pretty sure?” Alice asked with an arched eyebrow.

“W-well, she hasn’t said it, exactly, but I know she feels it” he insisted. “Look, this is the first time I’ve felt like this in my life and I know that I fucked up but… I also know she’s scared and it just… I want to make things right” he insisted.

The four girls shared looks amongst themselves before they went back to James and Lily nodded.

“Alright, we’ll help you” she agreed.

“Really?”

“Yes, but only because she has looked happier lately, and you seem to actually be sorry. But if you fuck this up again, Potter-” Dorcas threatened.

“I know, I swear, I won’t!” he told them.

“Alright, then” Alice smirked.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“What are you doing here?”

“For fuck’s sake!” you jumped, falling down the stairs you were on and landing on the floor. “Sirius!” you said, getting up. “What the bloody hell are you doing here?” you glared at your older brother.

“I asked first” he shrugged.

“None of your business” you said, rolling your eyes. “You?”

“Same” he said.

“Fine. This has been lovely, then” you said, trying to walk out of the class but Sirius stopped you.

“Okay, no! Wait!” he said, grabbing your arm and turning you around. “I was… looking for you” he admitted.

“If you’re planning on stealing my Potions essay, I haven’t finished it yet-”

“No, that’s not it” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I… wanted to… um… talk to you” he said, awkwardly.

“Why?” you asked, genuinely confused.

“Well, there are… a few things I wanted to tell you” he admitted. “If um… you’d like to come with me to the… Lake or something” he said.

“Well, since you asked so normally” you said, still confused. But this was the first time that Sirius talked to you in so long, you really didn’t want to take it for granted, so you followed him. Once you reached to the Great Lake he sat down near a tree and pointed his side so you would join him. “So… did you bring me here to kill me or-”

“Shut up” he said with a faint chuckle. He then looked inside his bag and got out a small present. “Here” he said, handing it to you. “Um… happy birthday” he said quietly. You raised your eyebrow at him before grabbing the gift.

“Is this thing going to catch fire or something?”

“No!” he argued. But he couldn’t really blame you for thinking that. “No, I promise, I just… I know I’m a day late-”

“You’re about six years late but, alright” you said a bit harshly.

“I guess I deserve that” he muttered as you opened your present and you saw all of your favorite candy from Honeydukes. “I… wanted to say that… I’m sorry” he said.

“Um… why?”

“What do you mean why? For shutting you and Regulus out when I got sorted into Gryffindor and then… still not reaching out to you when you were sorted in Hufflepuff-”

“No, I know but… I mean… why now? Do you need something? Are you dying? Am I dying?”

“Stop it, bug!” he said, rolling his eyes and then looking at you when he realized what he had just called you. You felt your heart stopping for a moment.

“You… you haven’t called me that in a very long time” you said, feeling warmth in your heart. Once you thought was absolutely gone.

“I know… I’m sorry, if you’re not okay with it-”

“It’s okay” you quickly said. “I… kind of missed it” you admitted, looking away.

“You used to hate it” he chuckled.

“Yeah, I know but… once it was gone…” you sighed.

“We’re both really bad at this, aren’t we?” he laughed a little and, to his surprise, you did too.

“We definitely are the worst at feelings” you admitted. “Why are you apologizing to me now?” you asked curiously.

“A couple of reasons” he said. “I miss you” he admitted and you glared at him a little. “I really do!” he insisted. “Look, I get that we are awful at feelings and all that but… I’ve kind of been working on it and… I just… I want a relationship with my little sister” he said genuinely.

“Those are big words, Sirius” you chuckled. “What do you even know about relationships?”

“Well… I’m… currently in one” he said, looking away.

“You are?” you asked, a bit shocked and he nodded. “Wow, who’s the unlucky girl?”

Sirius let out a scoff, glaring at you. “Actually… it’s not a girl” he corrected.

“Is it Lupin?” you asked as Sirius widened his eyes in surprise.

“How did you know?”

“Well, it’s pretty obvious, you sink a deeper level of idiot whenever you’re around him” you informed him.

“That’s not true!”

“Yes, it is. Last week you knocked down your cauldron and three others when he laughed” you pointed out.

“That was… an accident” he tried to defend himself.

“Sure, it was” you said sarcastically.

“So… what do you think?” he asked, nervously.

“Why would you care what I think?”

“Well, you’re my sister, and… you’re also… the first person I’ve told” he admitted.

“Really?”

“Y-yeah” he said with a nervous smile.

��Well, if I’m being completely honest… I think Remus can do a lot better than you” you said with a smirk, making Sirius push you a little and glare at you.

“That’s not funny” he argued.

“I wasn’t joking” you said. “Is he… the one that’s making you get in touch with your feelings?”

“Kinda” he admitted. “You know, he and James grew up in a functional home, and… they know how to feel like a normal person” he informed you. “So… a few months ago, I was where you are right now” he added.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, nervously.

“I’m talking about you and Prongs and how you are afraid of being in a relationship with him” he said, casually.

“W-what? D-did James say-?”

“He didn’t say anything, but he’s a terrible liar” he shrugged. “I’ve known for a while and… to be honest, I have never seen him as happy as he is with you” he told you. “And… I have never seen him as miserable as today” he added. “So, I knew you were probably feeling worse, but… had no idea how to express it” he told you.

“How would you even know that?”

“Because you’re just like me” he told you. “A few months ago, Remus and I had our first fight. He told me that he loved me and… I kind of ran away” he said. “We didn’t speak for about three days. I was in such a bad mood, even I didn’t want to deal with myself” he explained. “Look, I know that we are wired differently than everyone else because mum and dad didn’t exactly teach us how to… feel or… love” he continued. “So, when someone does, it feels-”

“Fucking weird” you added.

“Yeah” he agreed. “But… that doesn’t mean that we can’t, you know that, right? And it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve it, bug” he told you. “I know I screwed up on my part and I am really sorry for pushing you away-”

“Why did you do it?” you asked all of the sudden. “I get that you were angry when you came back home from your first year but… Regulus and I never thought any different from you and you… shut us down” you said, sadly. “And then… the next year, when I was sorted into Hufflepuff, I thought maybe-”

“I know! I should have talked to you, I know, I was an idiot!” he said, genuinely. “Remus has made me talk about it a lot lately and… I want to make things right” he sighed. “You don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to and I don’t expect you to do it right away if you do, I just… had to start somewhere” he smiled, hopeful.

“By giving me candy and saying happy birthday a day later?” you smirked a little. “It’s a good start, I guess” you nodded, grabbing a Sugar Quill and giving him one.

“Well, I also… wanted to help you fix things with Prongs” he suggested.

“Because you love James so much now that you are an expert on feelings and don’t want to see him sad?”

“Well… sort of, but… I love you too, bug” he said, making you almost choke on your sweet. You were pretty sure he had never said that before. “I know, we don’t really say that to each other or anyone else. Remus was the first person I ever said it to. It feels good, you should try it” he continued. “I know you love James-”

“How could you possibly know that? Even I don’t know that!”

“I think that you do and that’s why you’re so scared” he told you. “And I know I’m probably the last person that should be telling you this but… there’s nothing wrong with that” he assured you.

“It’s just…” you sighed. “W-what if he realizes how broken I am and he doesn’t want to be anymore?” you asked, sadly, breaking Sirius’ heart a little. “Or if I end up breaking him?”

“Bug, you’re not that broken-”

“Really? Do you want to know what I was doing in Potions class? I was looking for something that would make me cry” you explained.

“Really?”

“Yes, James cries all the time, did you know that?”

“Yeah, he cried when Moony and I told him we were dating” Sirius laughed.

“I feel empty without him, Sirius, and yet… not a single tear!”

“Well, that doesn’t mean you’re broken” Sirius insisted. “We never cry” he continued. “Blacks don’t cry” you both said at the same time, letting out a small laugh. “We’ll get there, bug” he said, pulling you to him and kissing the side of your head.

“We?” you asked, a little confused.

“Oh yeah, now that you have accepted me back into your life I’m not leaving-”

“Can I reconsider this-?”

“Nope, it’s too late! We’re going to be best friends, bug!”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You had surprisingly spent the rest of the day with Sirius, and Remus had joined at some point. They took you to Hogsmeade as Remus insisted on at least taking you out for your birthday. You liked Remus, and you could see that he definitely brought out the best in your brother. They seemed very in love. And at some point, it dawned on you. You were in love with James. He had been right. What you felt for him, was love. You were still terrified but you had made up your mind to talk to him the next day. Remus and Sirius even said the four of you could go to Hogsmeade together. This was definitely the craziest thing you had ever gone through in your life. But you were done feeling sorry for your self and you were done being afraid. You definitely did not want to spend the rest of your life like your parents. Feeling nothing and being unhappy. So, you would talk to James and try to be happy for once. However, when you opened your dorm’s door, you saw that he had already gone ahead of you.

Your mouth dropped when you saw the scene in front of you. Your dorm was decorated with beautiful fairy lights above, like floating stars, and candles and flowers everywhere. James was in the corner, finishing putting some flowers next to your bed.

“James?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, love- I uh-” he stuttered, walking closer to you. “Um, I know you told me to f-forget about it but…” he sighed, offering you the last flower in his hand. “I don’t want to” he chuckled. “I don’t want to forget about it and… I don’t want to forget about you” he explained. “Love, I know that I majorly fucked up” he continued. “And you have every right to hate me and never forgive me if you want to but… I wanted to give you the birthday that I had planned for you first. The birthday that you deserved before I royally fucked it up” he said, grabbing the picnic basket on your window seat.

“Did you ask the elves to do the whole meal again?”

“N-no” he assured you. “Um… I did it myself” he said, making your heart flutter a little. “Granted, I… uh, I don’t think it’s going to be as good” he chuckled. “So, we don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to” he assured you before he placed the basket back down. “I um… I also didn’t get to give you your present” he said, grabbing a bag on your nightstand.

“You-” you felt something weird happening. “You got me a present?”

“Of course, I got you a present, love” James smiled sweetly. “Would you like to open it? Or we can eat first if you’d like. Or you can eat. And I can leave if you prefer-”

Before he could go on, you quickly grabbed the bag from him. James smiled to himself at how excited you looked, opening your gift. And then, you pulled it out. A book. And a stuffed rabbit. An exact rabbit like the one in the book. Wearing a small knitted cardigan with Gryffindor colors. Just like the one James had given you.

“What-?” you tried to catch your breath. “H-how did you-?”

“The sweater comes off” he smiled. “I asked my mum to make it, I thought it would look cute because you like mine so much” he explained.

“N-no, how um- how did you know-?”

“You told me, remember?” he frowned, confused. “How when you were a kid, and your mum took you and your brothers to Diagon Alley and you ran off and got lost and ended up in a muggle library” he continued. “And you read that book and you always wanted a rabbit like that one-”

“Y-you remember that?” you asked, in complete disbelief.

You told him that story so long ago. You remember it perfectly. It was the first night he stayed in your dorm and you ended up talking all night. You had no idea he would remember it. It felt like forever ago.

“Of course, love” he said as if it was obvious.

Before either one of you could say anything else, you threw your arms around James’ shoulders and you planted a big kiss on his lips. James widened his eyes in surprise a little before he closed them and wrapped one of his arms around your waist and he placed his other hand on your cheek.

“This is…” you sighed when you pulled apart and you looked down at your rabbit. “This is the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for me” you chuckled.

"Um... I also wanted to ask if... you would like to be my girlfriend?" he said, nervously.

"I would really like that" you nodded.

“Wait, are you… are you crying?” James asked, brushing a few tears with his thumb.

“A-am I?” you asked as a smile appeared on your face. You brought your hand up to your face and you saw that it was, in fact, covered in tears. “I’m crying!” you chuckled as you noticed James’ eyes welling up as they usually did. “James, I’m crying!”

“I can see that, love” he smiled brightly at you. “I’m really sorry I forgot your birthday” he said, pulling you closer.

“It’s okay” you assured him. “You cooked for me” you said with a small laugh.

“I also apologize for that. I have no idea what I was doing” he warned you.

“It can’t be that bad” you assured him. “Would you like to join me?”

“R-really?”

You nodded, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards your window. You sat down as James pulled out the food, smiling when he saw you playing with your rabbit’s ear and going through the pages of your book. He had never seen you smile like this. And he promised to himself that he would do anything he can to keep that smile placed there.

“James?”

“Yes, love?”

“Um… please don’t cry when I say this but… uh, you were right… earlier today” you said, nervously before you cleared your throat and you looked at him. “I love you” you admitted, feeling an enormous weight off your shoulders. And of course, James’ tears quickly ran down his cheeks.

“Y-you do?” he asked with a sweet smile and you nodded.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it” you said, nervously. “I just… well, y-you know Sirius and I don’t really- um… I was just… scared because we were sort of instructed to… not really feel anything and I just… didn’t want to screw things up with you because you are very in touch with your emotions and I’m a bit broken that way-”

“You’re not broken, love” he insisted, holding your hand in his. “I wish you could see yourself as I see you. Because you’re perfect” he said, making you smile a little. “And I love you so much” he said, pulling you for another kiss and he felt your smile against his lips. “Say it again” he asked when you pulled away.

“James-”

“Please” he pouted, making you laugh and roll your eyes a little.

“I love you” you said, making him throw his arms around you and pulled you to him, peppering your face with kisses as he heard you laugh, which was his favorite music.

“I love you too!”

The End

[Bonus Scene The Next Day at The Three Broomsticks...]

"Sirius... are you crying?" Remus asked his boyfriend.

"It's just so beautiful" he said, wiping his tears as you rested your head against James' shoulder. "How Prongs set everything up for her birthday after he forgot and he got her that cute rabbit" he said, while Remus chuckled and hugged him and he looked at James.

"You kind of opened the gate for Blacks to cry, you know that right?"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: I really love how this turned out so I hope you liked it too! xD let me know what you think! Remus is coming next and then Sirius!

[norrizzandpia]

Let Me Be Happy. Don’t Be Mean. (LN4)

Summary: Y/n is not experienced in the realm of dating. For years, she has convinced herself that no man sees her as lovable. So, when a guy steps into the picture who checks off all the boxes, making her feel secure in his feelings towards her, she’s elated. However, when she goes to share in the excitement with her best friend, he ruins it all, along with it her happiness, by uttering three small words.

Warnings: language, mentions of grinding

Note: this is very very little women coded but nobody is related. You’ll see. Once again, this is a sad ending, but a happy one will be up soon. I just wanted to get something out to you guys because it’s been so long since i posted and im finally feeling up to returning to you all. Genuinely, i feel like this isn’t my greatest greatest work, nothing quite worthy of a comeback fic, but i hope that doesn’t deter you all <3 ill be back with some of my regular abilities soon just a bit rusty so forgive me lol

Y/n had never had a boyfriend. There were failed talking stages and men who stole longer-than-preferred glances at her, but there was never an official, labeled and definite boyfriend. A part of her life which her friends always teased her for, a part of her life which she was secretly so deeply insecure about. Throughout her twenty-two years spent on Earth, she had been told that she was intimidating, that she was “too pretty” to be approached, but, as high school passed and she graduated college without anyone putting in effort, the passing thoughts of “something is wrong with me” took hold. Maybe it was the way she dressed, or the fact she liked musicals; maybe it was the friends she hung out with, or the jokes she made; maybe it was her looks, or her smile; maybe her laugh was obnoxious, or she didn’t seem like girlfriend material. She could never escape the feeling that she was inadequate, that somehow, over the years, she had molded herself into a person that no one else would stick around for romantically. Somehow, she wound up unloveable.

Lando, in the beginning, was a maybe. Becoming friends with him was, if you asked her, one of the scariest things she had ever embarked on in her life. Famous, rich, and successful Lando Norris loved her company, even adding in a few questionable and suggestive comments in the midst of it all. Her friends, however relentless, had continuously talked about the possibility of Lando liking her, but she shut it down every time. With the way she had forced her brain to be wired, Lando would never see her as more than a friend. The comments about how beautiful he thought she was, though, she could never explain.

“Are you going to answer me or what?” Y/n’s eyes focused back to the man in her mind, sitting before her at his kitchen table and staring at her as if she had died and came back to life.

She leaned her body against the counter, “Yeah, sorry. What’d you say?”

He scoffed and laughed all at once, “You didn’t hear anything I just said? Are you okay?”

His eyes flitting over her face made her chuckle and shake her head, “Yes, I’m fine. I was just thinking about the upcoming projects I have for work.”

He nodded, though his slightly furrowed eyebrows portrayed confusion, “Okay… Well, Max invited us to go out tonight. There’s a new club a few blocks down that he got on the VIP list for. You in?”

Deciding that maybe going out would somehow remedy the strong belief that no man wanted her, Y/n nodded.

—

“Can you hear me?!” Lando screamed into Max’s ear. His best friend looked at him, a drink in both their hands, and laughed.

“Yes, I can hear you, dumbass! When you yell right in my eardrum, it’s hard not to! What’s up?”

Lando was hesitant before leaning in once more, his tone lowered an octave, “Who is that dancing with Y/n?”

Max followed Lando’s eyeline, finding his good friend grinding up against a man he couldn’t even recognize.

He shook his head, “I don’t know. At least, she’s having fun!” His laughter at his comment died down when he turned his head to see Lando pouting.

Max scoffed, “Mate, you can’t be upset with her venturing out. She doesn’t even know you think of her that way!”

Lando shook his head, “I don’t see her that way.”

Max shoved his shoulder, “All I hear is denial, denial, and fucking denial. When you wake up one morning and find out you loved her all along, don’t come crying to me when you realize you’re too late because she’s with someone else.”

Lando laughed it off, though the pit in his stomach made him want to puke up the alcohol he had consumed for the night. Maybe he had just had one too many, he told himself.

Yeah, it was the alcohol consumption.

Max’s piercing gaze leveled with Lando’s, liquor coursing through the Brit’s veins as he said lowly, “I’m sick and tired of that bullshit.”

Lando rolled his eyes, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Max nodded feverishly, “Yes, you do! You know I can’t fucking stand the way you shun your feelings for her! I know it’s probably a dick move on my part to tell you how you feel, but if you keep dancing around her, you’re gonna lose her. I don’t want to see that for you.”

Lando shook his head briefly, coolness flowing from him as if Max’s words didn’t strike panic within his blood, “I’m not going to lose her, Max. I think alcohol makes you overdramatic.”

Max groaned and stomped away, liquid sloshing out of his glass as he retreated into the crowd. Lando’s eyes were left to fall back on his Y/n. The man’s hands were on her hips, swaying hers against his as he kissed her neck. He hated the sight and he didn’t know why.

Truthfully, he did know why.

—

“If a guy visits you at work with your favorite coffee order, does that mean he’s interested in you?” Y/n waltzed into the sunlit living room of Max’s apartment, Lando sprawled out on the couch as Max scrolled through his phone on a big chair in the corner.

“Uh, yes.” Max replied quickly, before Lando had the opportunity of selfishly saying no.

Holding her phone in one hand and the other balled in a fist, Y/n blurted, “Are you sure?”

Max pulled himself from his slouched position, looking at her intently and not daring to see the way Lando was eyeing him. He could feel the fiery gaze on his shoulder, “No man is going out of his way to buy you your favorite coffee and come see you at a corporate office for .2 seconds. Trust me, Y/n, the man likes you.”

She nodded her head side to side, “Mmm, maybe.”

”He’s right.” Lando murmured, a heavy heart as he watched her gaze snap to his, as if his thoughts on the subject convinced her more of what was right in front of her.

Max side-glanced him, a war in his head as he tried to decipher Lando and whatever he was trying to accomplish.

“You think?” She whispered, looking down at her phone when it buzzed. A blush across her cheeks made Lando’s heart squeeze.

Did she smile that way when he texted her?

Lando cleared his throat, “What’s this guy’s name? Is this the same guy you were dancing with at the club?”

She nodded, “Yeah, it is. His name is Chris.”

“Last name?” He continued, listening intently for the information.

Y/n laughed, “What? Are you going to Instagram-stalk him or something?”

Yes.

”No. Just curious.” He smiled lightly. All the while, Max was rolling his eyes.

”Chris Greenberg.” She smiled back, a moment between the two where Lando seemingly couldn’t tear his eyes off the grin displayed in front of him.

He sat back, “Alright, most generic name I’ve ever heard, but okay.”

She shook her head at Lando, the smile still on her face as she plopped on the couch beside him.

His arm instinctively draped around her shoulders, his hand toying with the ruffled fabric of her shirt. Lando tried not to fall into the mess of her in his mind yet the soft skin under his fingertips made his mind get away from him. He didn’t want it to be real. He didn’t want the morning where he woke up and he found out he was in love with his best friend to come.

But, he also couldn’t bear the thought of Chris touching her in the way he does. He willed himself not to think about Chris seeing her naked or taking care of her in the way Lando always had. Maybe he had never kissed her, but he had held her hand in moments of pain and he had been there for her when no boyfriends had the privilege of being able to show up. Lando had always been something to her and she had always been something to him, they both knew that.

He wanted her to stay single and he wanted her to stay his precious girl.

And suddenly, he couldn’t deny what he felt for her.

On the couch, with Max a few feet away from them and his fingers only lightly grazing her warmth, Lando’s eyes turned to her and he gave into the pull that he had been fighting for years.

A minute away from begging her to see him for what he needed her to, her phone lit up between them. One singular notification lit up the screen, her lock screen a picture of them two after he had gotten his Silverstone podium. A notification which was from Chris, a blushing emoji next to his name.

His mouth opened from the words he so recklessly wanted to say, he realized what he was about to do: confessing feelings he found out about five seconds ago while Max was sitting next to them. So embarrassed and slowly reaching a state of distraught, Lando retracted his arm from her body.

Y/n grabbed her phone from the space between their legs, opened her phone, and giggled at whatever stared back at her.

Lando knew his face said it all. He was always facially expressive. If she had turned her head, or Max, they would’ve seen it written all over his face. The sickening realization that he was in love with the girl sitting beside him.

Part of him loved that they weren’t paying attention to him, but another part wished she would move her head a few centimeters, catch his eyes, and let him study the way she took his breath away.

—

“Where are you going?” Lando stumbled over his feet as he ran to the door. Y/n in a black, tight dress looking stunning had alarms going off in his head.

Her hand on the door knob, “A date.”

“Why?”

She laughed slowly, “Um, because? Chris asked me? I said yes?”

Lando’s hands rested on his hips, gray sweatpants slugging low on his waist as he stared at her, “Where’s he taking you?”

She mirrored his stance, “Why?”

He scoffed, “Because! I should know where you are! What if he tries to kill you and nobody knows your location?”

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and opened the door. In the crack, Lando could see Chris standing against his car with flowers in his hand, looking like everything Y/n deserves and more. Chilling as he realized he’s trying to fight something that is not meant for him. Y/n doesn’t deserve him. She deserves someone who will sleep next to her every night, who won’t leave her every weekend for their job. She deserves someone who is available and dependable. He isn’t that. He will never be that. Chris already is that.

“I will be fine, Lan. Thank you for worrying, but Chris is a nice guy.” She smiled, not giving him room to argue as she slipped out and closed the door.

He stared at the wood for a moment or two, hearing her giggles from outside and knowing how taken she sounded. He wanted her to turn around, to open the door back up and say something that would give him confirmation that Max wasn’t right; that he didn’t realize too late the things he felt for her.

She would never come to the door and Lando would, after fifteen minutes of waiting and hearing the tires drive away, slink back to his bed.

—

She came to the door. Knocking frantically and rambling the moment Lando opened it, Y/n burst into his apartment.

Lando’s hands raised in the air, “Woah, woah, woah, slow down. I can’t understand what you’re saying.”

He watched her face light up before she took a deep breath and withheld his favorite smile, “The date went so amazing, Lan! He is so considerate and… and he listens! Lando, he sat there and listened to me ramble about my family, my friends, and everything else about my life and then asked me questions about the things I was mentioning! He likes the same things I do and he’s so cute and I can genuinely feel like he really likes me this time! He puts in the effort! He! Puts! In! The! Effort! Lando! Seriously, he’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy!”

Even though he knew it before answering the door, her bursting summary of this perfect guy solidified it for him.

She came to the door, but she didn’t come for him.

He stared at her, his heart emptied out of hope as he watched her big smile dwindle down.

”Why don’t you look happy for me?” She cocked her head as he stared back at her, a dead expression adorning his usually calm face.

”I love you.”

Lando watched her face drop, a hopeful smile morphing into a void. Her bag dropped to her feet and she leaned her head forward, “Stop.”

He blinked at her, “What?”

She looked back up at him, “Stop, Lando. Don’t say that.”

He scoffed, “It’s true!”

Glistening tears pooled in her eyes, “Lando, stop. Don’t be mean.”

He shook his head, “Y/n, I’m not being mean. I’m being honest.”

She roughly wiped the wetness that had fallen to her cheeks before looking at him with such a deadly gaze, “No, you aren’t! This is so fucking selfish of you! For once, I’ve found someone that will put in the effort and that I can genuinely trust in making the right decisions when it comes to me! And, now, here you fucking are, telling me you love me! It’s fucking cruel! Can you just let me be happy just this once? Why can’t I get my chance to be in love? You’ve experienced it! Why can’t you just let me do it?!”

He took a step closer to her and she took one back, “I do want you to be happy! I want you to be with me!”

She crossed her arms, “Oh, and you’re going to make me happy?”

“I will try.” He whispered.

She memorized the heels strapped around her feet, “Not good enough.”

He reared back, “What?”

She willed her eyes to meet his, “Not. Good. Enough. Chris will be good to me, I know that. I can’t trust that you’ll be good to me or be good to me until you get bored and find someone else to have fun with.”

”Is that what you think you are to me?” He asked, his heart reaching out for her, but breaking into pieces for how she views herself in his life before he can get there.

She looked up at him, eyes reddening under the tears, “If I meant something to you, if you loved me, you’d want me to be with the safe option.”

His hand trailed up her arm as tears fell from his cheeks similarly to hers, “I can be the safe option.”

”No, Lando. No, you can’t. I want Chris. I can’t deal with whatever life crisis you’re in the midst of right now.”

He groaned, “It’s not a life crisis. It’s me realizing what you truly mean to me.”

She waved her hand, “Sure, Lando.”

She moved away from his cornering, taking steps toward the door before Lando stopped her, “Don’t tell me I don’t love you.”

”I’m going to. I won’t give up the first guy to genuinely show me I mean something deeply to him for someone else who just apparently figured out they loved me after years of spending time together.” She continued by confirming his deepest fears, “You’re not reliable. You can't always be there when I need you to. That’s fine. I understand, but I’m not going to put myself in a spot to get hurt for you.”

He pleaded with her, “Why can’t you just give me a chance?”

”It’s not worth it, Lando.” She stared at him, “Let me be happy.”

”You can be happy with me.”

She shook her head, “Everything looks clearer in the morning, including your feelings for me.”

”What does that even mean?” He questioned, her form retreating to the door and practically screaming at him to let her go.

She sighed, “I’m sure you’re just tired. I’m sure you don’t mean any of this. How could you? Lando, you could get anyone. I’m not the girl you choose.”

Tears falling harder, he exhaled a quick breath, “You are the girl I choose!”

”And how long until I’m not?”

A silence followed, one that gave her enough time to open the door and leave. What was supposed to be the start of a new chapter for her turned into a reference to a past one.

The past chapter in her life where she loved Lando just as he described to her seconds before and a chapter where she convinced herself he would never feel the same. Still, she believed he never would. That what he had said to her was an episode, some dream he was sleep-talking in.

Lando would never pick her in the long run.

Even when he said he would.

[superstarcherrycolagirl]

piece of you in how i dress

“cherry” by harry styles

benny cross x reader / 1.1k words

idea: benny rocks a new look

tw: none really, drinking, smoking, cursing, but just a bunch of cuteness

notes: sooo i sent a request to clo a bit ago (b4 we became bestie boos) and i was rereading what she wrote and it was SO GOOD so i kinda wanted to write a little piece abt that!! sorry if this is kinda shit imve been really really busy the past week but i wanted to put something out BUT i hope y’all like this :)) also PLEASE go read @semperamans work bc she is just TOO GOOD and deserves all the love !!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

benny’s always had a distinct look to him. messy hair, ripped jeans, sharp tattoos, scares covering his fists, and a chilling stare on his face that completed his intimidating look. although he and the rest of the vandals all seem to look the same, with their colors on and unique pasts merging together, benny was always recognizable and stood out like a sore thumb.

nobody really questioned why the young vandal was so feral, why his past shaped him into somebody who can either lurk in silence or create chaos out of nothing in the blink of an eye, because it wasn’t anyone's business. sure the vandals began because of the love to ride all day and night, but the community of people was built around acceptance of each member, regardless of their past.

so why the hell would anyone care? the guy just has a classic look to him!

until benny met you.

“wahoo you seeing what i’m seein’?” “the sexy redhead with that tiny skirt on? cause if you are-” “stop fuckin’ droolin’ for a second and turn that thick ass head of yours ‘round! over at the pool table!” due to drinking a ton and smoking weed, it took a while for corky and wahoo to focus on the same thing. and luckily they were able to, looking over at the pool table where benny was watching cal take a strike during their game. his dark shirt and dark jeans were so rough against his skin, that the pop of blush pink was throwing the two guys off. a little pink blob was tied around a belt loop on benny’s jeans, standing out like a sore thumb.

to say that wahoo and corky were stumped was an understatement “what is that shit on his pants?” “i d’know, that’s why my last resort was askin’ you” “ah fuck you too shithead! if you care s’much let’s jus’go ahead n’ask him” wahoo stood up first with corky trailing behind as they walked to the pool table, the mix of alcohol and pot in their systems making them stumble and laugh.

once they reached the table they immediately approached benny, perching their hands on his side of the table “hey benny! did ya’ fairy godmother visit you in ya’ sleep last night?” “or a.. a princess spare y’any gifts?” the boys started chattering, trying to hint to benny at what they were talking about “what t’hell are you goin’ on about? did you take some of that shit sonny got?” benny was genuinely confused, wondering what in gods name wahoo and corky took to be asking him about fairies and princesses. “what y’mean? look at you! all pretty in pink for us tonight! jus’wanna know what lucky lady gave y’that?” corky said with a laugh, which got the attention of cal.

oh here we go.

benny put it together in his head what they were laughing about, and a rush of pink started to fill the cheeks. he completely forgot he had your pink scare tied to him, you asked him to hold onto it because it was bothering your neck. he didn’t even think of it, and now caught off guard that his friends noticed.

he didn’t know what to say. was everyone else gonna start teasing him? telling him that he’s changed and now all soft? he had no idea. but as he was trying to open his mouth to say something, cal already beat him to it.

“you guys know who gave that to him, she’s literally been in here 3 times this week! spared your sorry asses some cookies that were for the ladies!” cal chirped in, his voice gaining the intoxicated guys attention “benny’s right, what the fuck did y’all take? can’t have y’forget so much that your dicks are hanging out ‘cause you forgot how to zip up your flies!” he said vulgarly, but earning a little chuckle from benny “now go smoke whatever shit sonny gave you outside! m’getting a headache” cal told corky and wahoo. both benny and cal watched them walk away, drowning in drunken cackles.

benny turns his head back to cal, seeing him take a sip of his beer before shifting his attention back to him “so how is she? i noticed that she isn’t with you tonight?” cal’s question threw off benny for a moment, surprised that he’d be asking about his girl. “yeah she’s good. she uh.. picked up an extra shift early for the mornin’, so she stayed home so she could get a good sleep,” benny said softly, the shift to talking about his girl made the blush creep even higher “almost didn’t show tonight ‘cause i wanted to help her relax, but she insisted for me to come here anyway” he said with a smile. oh how stubborn you could be.

“well i'm glad that she’s well, y’got a hard working lady on y’hands” cal said in response, noticing how shy benny got “listen, you and i both know that they're off their asses tonight, so don’t let their teasing rattle you, i know they respect her as much as the rest of us do” cal spoke to benny calmly, unsure if he was upset with their friends “no no i.. i’m not mad. i feel the opposite really,” benny looked down at the sweet pink scarf against his jeans “jus’happy that’ll get to see her once i get back home” he looked up at cal with a smile. it’s already getting pretty late, and benny told you that he’d drive you to work in the morning, so he might as well just call it a night and head out.

and just like that it was like cal read his mind “well why don’t you go on and get to it, i’ll cover our drinks right here” cal offered, which benny returned with a nod. he benny grabbed his leather jacket, and started walking away, cal spoke up one more time

“tell her i wish her luck, and hope to see the both of you on friday” “i promise i will”

and with that final promise he was out the door, hopped on his bike, and was on his way home. while driving down the dimly lit roads he’d glance down at your scarf blowing in the wind, and couldn’t help but smile. ‘a little piece of you in how he dressed’ some could say.

he couldn’t wait to get home.

[audaciousacolyte]

Could I request Sonic x Reader where they were childhood friends and now are dating several years down the line? 👉👈

Best friend boyfriend

Sonic the hedgehog x Childhood friend!reader

��|| AN: Heya!! Terribly sorry for the long wait, I've been cooking up quite a few little treats that I think that all of you will enjoy!! That being said the following headcanons are based on my own, personal thoughts on sonic as a whole. I hope you enjoy!!! ||》

FLUFF (Pre-crush)

◇| As many of us know, Sonic the hedgehog is the coolest guy around.

◇| Whether he’s rolling around at the speed of sound (Haha), or fighting off Dr.Eggman, he’ll be having a blast and a half doing it.

◇| I’d think that sonic met you while on one of his many adventures, probably around the same time he first met Knuckles or Amy. Maybe he saved you from a badnik attack? Or maybe you popped up to try and stop the mad doctor yourself?

◇| However the two of you met, He’s ecstatic to have another buddy to horse around with! (He wouldn’t admit it though, (mostly because he can’t) but also because he has an emotionally unavailable bad boy image to maintain!)

◇| Be prepared for him to drag you along on all of his adventures, because once the two of you are friends, he’s going to mess around and have fun with you whether you like it or not!!

(Post Crush)

◇♡| Sonic is, and will likely continue to be, incredibly emotionally evasive. This boy can, will and has run from his feelings like they were coming to drag him to the very bottom of the ocean.

♡◇| Seriously, he runs from his demons like nobody’s business. And you and I are VERY well aware of how fast sonic can run.

◇♡| When he DOES eventually begin to consider the thought that MAYBE he likes you more than a friend should, Sonic gets…well, not nervous exactly, but definitely a bit WEARY around you. Probably tries to play it “cool” (or cool-er, I guess) around you, but usually ends up making a complete fool of himself

♡◇| (It’s fine though, you usually just laugh it off or play it down to spare his pride. He REALLY appreciates it.)

◇♡| He likely only begins to acknowledge his feelings after he meets Elise during the (very confusing) events of Sonic ‘06. (And also because Tails keeps teasing him about his (BIG, FAT, VERY OBVIOUS) little crush)

◇♡| Genuinely has no clue what he’s supposed to do with this information. He’ll probably just…sit on the fact that he likes you like that for a while. (And then go to Amy or Rouge for help, because what else is he supposed to do?)

♡| You are going to have to make the first move. Full stop.

♡| Sonic may be impulsive and quick on the uptake, but he’s got NEGATIVE ZERO relationship experience. He is out of his depth already with this crush, he’s not about to confess to someone he’s known for practically half his life at this point.

(Post dating)

♡| MASSIVE FLIRT, he will tease and fluster you FOR AGES. he WILL NOT get tired of it, EVER.

♡| (However, If you flirt back, he’ll turn into a flushed red mess… he can dish it out, but he sure can’t take it!)

♡| REALLY likes holding your hand, he finds it soothing to know that you’re never too far away from him while out and about. Sonic probably also plays with your fingers a lot as well.

♡| ADVENTURE DATES,ADVENTURE DATES,ADVENTURE DATES

♡| I feel like Sonic would probably do stupid shit in front of you to show off.

♡| He has done ENTIRE CHOREOGRAPHED ACROBATIC ROUTINES while fighting eggman’s mechs when you were around as a way to showboat. (Nobody knows where he learned to do this, but it worked way too well for anybody to complain.(Eggman was so confused that he just…stopped functioning for a hot minute. He genuinely did not know what to do))

♡| Will do stupid little victory dances on Badniks for no reason other than to see you smile.

♡| Loves, loves, LOVES when you are goofy with him. It’s just so endearing to him!

♡| Please, for the love of all that is holy, play with his quills when y’all are cuddling!! He may say he hates it because it messes up his ‘do, but he actually loves it! (he does get a bit freaked out when you don’t do it though. He thinks that he did something to upset you if you don’t mess with his quills and will frantically try to “win” your love back or something)

[cheriladycl01]

Better than me - Charles Leclerc x Reader P10

Plot: You are a rookie in your first f1 season, adding to the ever-growing amount of Brits performing in the grid

As things went, the dinner Charles promised to take you out on went really well. You guys spent the whole night out talking in a small local restaurant in Saint-Tropez that he’d privately rented for the night before walking along the harbour wall.

The conversation never actually stopped, and despite knowing of Charles for a while and having met him a few times before you got into F1 yourself you guys found out more about each other in those 4 hours at dinner than you’d known about any of the drivers in the time you’d been driving with some of them.

“Come on then, tell me something you’ve never told anyone else” he asks and you think for a second.

“When I was younger, in karting and moving up into F4, I nearly said yes to two teams wanting to take me on because I thought the other was a dream” you chuckle amused at the memory.

“No way! That would have been funny, I remember actually seeing you in the awards ceremony I must have been in F2 at that point” he sighs thinking back to when there wasn’t as much pressure on him and he had a lot more freedom.

“Tell me about your family, I bet you love having them at race weekends” you asked after taking a bite of the delicious food that was on your plate.

“Well, there’s Arthur, obviously you know him coz you’ve raced with him. Then there’s my older brother Lorenzo but we all just call him Enzo and of course my maman” he smiles and you think for a second looking up at the ceiling.

“Nicknames are bizarre right? Like you shortener that to Enzo, but why did nobody start calling him Lore?” The random questions spills from your mouth easily.

“I’ve never thought about that” he laughs.

Your connection was undeniable and you guys just fit together. It was so sweet, nothing could ruin this moment apart from one conversation.

Which of course had to be had.

“So where do we go from here?” Charles had asked you.

“What do you mean?” You ask with a slight tilt of you head in confusion.

“You know we can’t be together right? The media would tear us to shreds” he offers and you look down sadly.

Tonight showed you what a life with Charles alongside you could be like, his attentive side and how his words made you feel like the only girl in the world.

“We don’t have to tell anyone it could be just between the two of us” you smile.

“We’re in different teams … it would never work” he reasons and your eyes are starting to glass over in frustration.

“Then why bring me here!” You raise your voice.

“W-what do you mean, you asked me to bring you here?” He says looking over your disgruntled facial expression.

“No, no I didn’t! Don’t try spin this. I said you had to take me out to dinner, that didn’t mean, taking me out and renting out a whole intimate restaurant before taking me on a walk through the south of France. That’s mean” you say stepping back as he tries to reach out for you.

“I didn’t mean for you to get upset” he says, there were undertones of him genuinely feeling a little bad, but it was more blunt than usual. Like he didn’t really care how you felt but he was obliged to.

“Charles why do you keep doing this to me, I thought we just got past the rough patch!” You say, remembering everything he had put you through since the start of the season.

You thought maybe today was the day you were building a bridge with him that would be better for both of you in the future.

“Y/N im sorry but please let’s not let this stop us being … friends” Charles interjects stepping closer to you so he’s practically against you.

“I’m too embarrassed to do this right now Charles. I’m going home” you say crossing your arms wrapping the cardigan you were wearing tighter around you.

“Y/N no please don’t we can…” he starts but your ready to interrupt him.

“There’s nothing you can say right now. I’ll see you at the next race” you say before walking through the streets of Saint-Tropez on your own. You manage to get back to the hotel you’d originally had and begged the receptionist for your old room.

The next races went by and you didn’t attend any of them. However this time you did keep in contact with the select few people you knew had your back. You didn’t tell them why you weren’t coming to anymore races, just that you needed more time to heal.

Not exactly a lie.

You spent your time with your personal trainer getting your muscles and bones to slowly recover from the race. You really were having a speedy recovery and Silverstone was looking like a definite for you to be back in the car now which made everyone happy.

You traveled back and forth between, Monaco, Germany and the UK while you weren’t at the races, getting data from Audi and how the car been performing with a different driver now that your out for the last few races. And spending time with your family, in the UK.

By the time Silverstone came around you were deemed ready to be back in the car.

On the Thursday you walked through the car park, fans lining up either side screaming for you. You walked over to where they were fenced off and started signing as much as you could.

“Y/N are you all better now?”

“Y/N are you excited to drive again”

“Y/N are you scared to drive after your crash?”

“Y/N do you feel like you might be a bit rusty today?”

Floods of questions came your way, but with a smile on your face you answered whatever was thrown your way. You stayed there for around 20 minutes before crowds became too big and security politely asked you to move on and into the paddock.

You scanned in, loads off people coming up to you for pictures who had VIP and Paddock passes. You stayed walking with your PR manager who’d met you at the entrance.

“How are you feeling about the weekend?” They ask you and you turn your head in a cocked manner.

“Fine?” You admit.

“Okay, great! Well you are on the Drivers Press conference with Liam, Lando, Carlos and Pierre. Please try and keep up team moral yeah? We don’t want any undue attention” she admit, knowing Audi haven’t had the best time in public relations recently thanks to the crash and the scandal before that.

The rumours around your crash were kind of insane. Some people were saying you did it on purpose to prove a point, some people think your team were sabotaging you. Some people thought the grid were out to get you, some even went as far as to think you’d faked your drug test and were doping.

“I know, racing only. How excited I am for this weekend” you nod towards her as you guys get to the motorhome of Audi.

“Well I need to brief the team, but I’ll be sure to come grab you before the press conference” she smiles running of with her clipboard pressed tightly to her chest.

“Oh my gosh! Y/N! Alex and I have been waiting on you forever” Lily exclaims as she sees you step through the glass doors.

She grabs you into a tight squeeze that you immediately sink into. If Alex wasn’t careful you’d steal Lily from him in a heartbeat, she gave the best hugs.

“Hey, how are you guys! It feels good to actually be back here with you guys knowing I’ll be driving tomorrow” you smile softly.

“Yeah i can imagine it’s been far too long” Alex says rubbing your shoulder before offering you to take a seat with them in the booth they’d currently reserved.

“How are you feeling about the race, you definitely feel like your ready to get back in the car?” Lily fusses, like always.

“Yeah, i mean the physio said I was good to go”

“Okay, but are YOU good to go?” She pushes and you can’t help but think for a little. Physically you’d been cleared but with everything that’s happened your mind, we’re your reflexes going to be up to standard, would you be too emotional in the car and not think straight?

We’re you ready?

Taglist:

@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[wovenintosilk]

Here to fulfill a need for requests!

Pavitr X male!spiderman! Reader

The reader is new to the spider society and meet pavitr through gwen. The friendship blooms and so do their feelings for one another. At the end they confess and have their first kiss.

Cute right?

Hopefully you get to think but no worries if not! Have a good day!

Thank you so much for the request! I ended up accidentally making the reader more gender neutral but I hope it suits what you were looking for regardless.

Enjoy!

No Content Warnings

GN!Reader

Word Count: 1300

━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━

Though you’d met only a few heroes, none really surprised you anymore. They all carried a similar seriousness regardless of their true personalities and most of them hesitated for at least ten minutes before revealing their identities to you.

Except for Gwen’s friend who no sooner landed on the roof and pulled his mask off. “I’m dying,” he complained. “This heatwave is going to end me.”

Gwen laughed. “These suits are awful for the summer. Pav, this is the friend I wanted you to meet.”

Pavitr glanced over at you as though he hadn’t quite realised you were there before but then he smiled, almost stunning you momentarily with how genuine and warm it was. “Hey,” he greeted. “Another spiderman?”

“Something like that,” you agreed though Gwen had kidnapped you on one of your days off.

“Why are you sitting in the sun though?” Pavitr huffed, wincing up at the sky. “At least move to the shade.”

You took him up on the request. Admittedly, you’d been slowly overheating but not wanting to ask Gwen about it yet. The roof didn’t offer much shade beyond a water tower but at least it allowed you to easily find a spot to balance.

Further benefits of having friends who had powers at least meant the laws of physics restricted you less.

“Nobody’s really concerned about their secret identity in this society,” you noted.

Pavitr appeared mildly confused. He looked down at the mask in his hands and shrugged. “Why bother hiding it? Who do you know in my dimension to tell? And even if you do, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Both Gwen and you winced at the familiar words but Pavitr didn’t even notice. He found a spot to rest and tilted his head back, leaning it against one of the legs of the water tower.

A strange fluttering in your chest triggered. You turned your attention away to avoid staring too much; a hidden weakness for people who were ridiculously attractive.

“What’s the plan?” you asked. “We just going to hang out?”

“I’ll give you the tour when the sun stops trying to kill me,” Pavitr said. “Or when something happens?”

Gwen sighed but the familiar smile on her face gave it less weight. “Something will show up. It always does.”

True to her words, the luck of Spiderman never failed to provide a tragedy to break up an otherwise boring day. Your tour of the city came around while chasing after a petty thief who’d somehow built himself a speed enhancer. Honestly, you weren’t paying much attention to him.

Pavitr kept drawing your eyes as he showed off new things in his city. He stopped you so often Gwen grew tired and went on ahead.

For all that effort though, Pavitr remained distracted while securing the thief and ended up taking a solid hit to the jaw for it. You winced when he took his mask off after, not liking how the dark bruise crept up the side of his cheek.

He groaned. “Bro, my aunt is going to kill me when she sees this.”

You laughed and from that day forward, Pavitr’s dimension turned into one of your favourite places to stop over at when you had time. Partially because it was fun but mostly because of the Spiderman guarding the city.

You couldn’t help staring when he excitedly told you about his adventures, couldn’t stop yourself from lingering longer than you should have when the time came to say goodbye. Something about him caught you and refused to let your attention wander anywhere else.

When he asked, you told him you came for the dogs.

It wasn’t until work and responsibilities kept you away for almost two weeks that you realised how much you’d been visiting.

Without being there, you grew uneasy and restless. A strange loneliness hung in your heart without having Pavitr there and you kept wanting to send a message or visit though you didn’t know how welcome it would be.

You were friends.

But it didn’t help you remember when you finished your work and immediately opened a portal to be met with a tight hug.

“Hey! You’re back!” Pavitr wasn’t in his suit, instead dressed in casual clothing that had no right looking so good on him. “It’s been so boring without you here.”

The sudden tackle caused an aching pain through your leg, a reminder of how your work hadn’t run smoothly. You didn’t say anything though, knowing it might end your interaction early.

“It’s great to be back,” you said. “Everything got so busy suddenly but it’s handled now. Did the city survive without me?”

Pavitr grinned. “Yeah, but I nearly didn’t! I was going crazy without somebody to talk to. It’s going to take me ages to catch you up on everything.”

He wasted no time in launching into a recount of the past weeks; walked you through the streets and eventually through an alley so you could swing onto the roofs with ease.

The sun had begun to set as you reached the top. Its golden rays danced through the sky and lit the city in a stunning light. A warm feeling spread in your heart at the familiar sight – more welcome than even your own home now.

“You alright bro?”

You snapped out of your trance to face Pavitr whose stare stuttered your heart.  

“I was just thinking how much I missed this place.”

He hummed proudly. “I know, I have the best city in the world. That’s why I hate travelling to other dimensions. They’re so boring.”

You sat on the edge, your face turned to the sun. “It makes me want to stay forever.”

“Why not? It would be way better than you having to go all the time.”

It had been a joke in your mind but that response made you freeze for a second. “It would be less travel,” you said though it sounded strained to your own ears.

Pavitr sat next to you, closer than he usually did and still wearing that easy grin on his face. “Exactly! It makes sense, right? You can stay and pretend you’re not in love with me even more.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not in love with you.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He could be teasing you. It felt like a joke in some ways though when you turned to look at him properly, there was a challenge of sorts in his smile. Waiting for your response.

“Awfully arrogant of you,” you said.

He shrugged but leaned closer in, making your breath stop momentarily. “Nope. I just have good eyesight.”

It would take less than a second for you to close the gap. And you really, really wanted to.

He did it for you.

His lips pressed against yours briefly; so quickly you didn’t even realise what had happened at first. The slight flush on his cheeks was your only proof it hadn’t been your imagination.

The silence stretched and then you kissed him back.

He made a soft surprised sound against your lips, one that went straight to your heart. The slow movement brought a lingering taste of chai. The warm press stirred the fluttering of your heart faster still. One of your hands found its way to his jaw, gently cupping it to allow you to lead.

The kiss remained slow. You didn’t need anything more than the heat of his breath as it mingled with your own.

And when you pulled away, you couldn’t hide the stuttering of your breath even if you wanted to. His golden eyes danced as they fell on your lips and he moved back in for one more short peck.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a very long time,” you admitted. “Since the day I met you.”

He laughed and created a little distance, his shoulder remained against yours. “You should have.”

“Pav, I’d just met you. I think you would find it pretty weird.”

“Nah I’m a chilled guy. I wouldn’t complain if an attractive person kissed me.” He thought about it before conceding. “Though it might be different if it wasn’t you.”

“I’m lucky then,” you said.

The sun sank behind the horizon while you watched, your head falling onto Pavitr’s shoulder.

[prettyoddfever]

why are you so against ryden

I'm literally only pointing out why specific examples of "Ryden proof" don't work, or were misinterpreted by people who don't know much about the band. If me being pro-reality means that you consider me anti-Ryden then, uh… you might want to examine that more.

As long as we're on this topic, I'm going to expand on an older post here and go off on a tangent:

I actually loved the Ryden part of the fandom in the pre-split days! Ryden felt like a fandom-wide inside joke that united so many fans and sparked so much creativity (sometimes it reminded me of inventing bs symbolism in english & art classes lol). I didn’t read the slash, but it’s not like those kids stayed exclusively over in their communities… they were everywhere. A lot of my favorite accounts were massive Ryden fans & fic authors. but even the most die-hard shippers in 2006 & 2007 would scoff if new fans asked if they were ever being serious with their comments. It was all just entertaining wish fulfillment done to amuse themselves. They would act like it was a legit alternate reality and write long funny primers & posts like “look guys, they are in love. this is facts… here I go with my proof," but when it came down to whether or not they actually thought it was real… no, of course not. The fanfic authors were the first to laugh and say they weren’t hurting anyone because nobody actually believed Ryden was real and everyone was on the same page. They argued that every single band had a slash community and it just came with the fame. Some fans genuinely wanted Ryden to be real, while others thought it was entertaining how you could cherry-pick events & isolate them from any context to make Ryden look plausible. And both groups were taking matters into their own hands by trying to tie enough pictures & random dots together to make it look like a happy alternate reality that satisfied everyone. It was funny.

The majority of the pre-split fandom understood that Ryden wasn’t real, so people were on the same page when they shared their “proof.” It was like an inside joke. For example, I’ll argue that unicorns could be real because I know that the person I’m talking to is aware of reality. I can get as creative as I want and just have fun because we’re both on the same page… and the other person will be like “well yes of course they’re obviously real.” It looks like we agree. But that does not mean that we truly believe it lol... we're just bored & entertaining ourselves. Someone else who is unsure whether or not unicorns actually exist might read our convo and conclude that we are certain unicorns are real and have proof! But I never intended for my silly convo with my friend to be taken that seriously.

For me, Ryden was more about the fandom. It was just fun to see a picture or new moment and wait to see if anyone else spotted the same potential too. The slash accounts across different sites/forums would even make fun of themselves for how far they would go to make everything fit Ryden. At times it felt like an affectionate joke about the band and the fandom. 

I’d say the Ryden craze first took over with the huge surge of new fans during the summer 2006 tour (around the time Brendon & Ryan started fully going for the mic sharing each night). This was back when the band still read the forums and different fan sites and were trying to get a sense of what their fans were saying (such a bad idea lol). I was never totally clear on where the guys stood on Ryden in 2006 but it seemed like they were in on the joke… but it was so confusing at the same time. Like one minute they’d complain about the disgusting “pornfiction” in an interview and the next minute they’d be hamming it up for meet & greet pictures. Bden would practically hump Ryan’s leg during a show and then Ryan would suggestively run his hand up Bden’s thigh during a meet & greet exactly when he knew fans were watching… and then they’d both act like they didn’t get why fans ever came up with stories about them. I’m not saying their actions meant they were asking for something btw. I’m just saying that it’s equally true that the guys would claim they weren’t huge on Ryden and that they intentionally fueled the fire to get fans to laugh/scream at the right time. The band was super aware that the Ryden fans were a huge part of the fandom who drove a lot of the hype online… so it seemed like in late 2006 the guys were just trying to connect with a fanbase they were being quickly distanced from as they got more & more famous. Then in 2008 the guys intentionally added extra Ryden elements to their stage routine because they knew what a lot of fans still wanted to see.

So my conclusion was that it was all in good fun (except making suggestive comments to the band irl was horrible… people were even saying some seriously gross stuff to Zack about the boys and taking it waaaaay too far). During the lull of 2007, and even into 2008, there seemed to be a whole section of the fandom that was more invested in their fanfic communities than the irl band (they’d often come onto other boards & communities to ask for facts or details for their fanfics and watching the replies they got was like watching a really bad game of telephone haha so I’m guessing those plots diverged from reality pretty quickly). New fans were also being introduced to the band through fanfiction and seemed more intent on just spotting Ryden moments and learning the fanfic version of history rather than any real-life history. So by late 2008 there was definitely a small crowd who was taking Ryden more seriously and also understood less about the band. But I wasn't always sure if their tone was totally serious or not, because the joking posts had often been written in a serious tone too.

Side note on that: when I started this account in 2020 I hadn't thought about P!ATD much while I had been sick for years. I was just trying to throw myself back into the mindset of 2006 and rediscover a time when my world had been awesome & I was healthy. So when I saw all the sun/moon theories that had formed after I'd left the fandom I was like YES omg this is amazing. I lived for that kind of stuff. But then it was confusing how the same people who were currently posting all of the “ryden was real” stuff were the same ones who would quickly point out that another one of my Ryden posts wasn’t what really happened or that a photo manip that I considered fun was actually fake…  I mean, obviously??? I didn’t get why there was any difference between everything. It took me a few months to get a read on the current fandom and realize that things weren't being done in the same joking spirit. I started struggling to explain why I was posting Ryden-ish stuff if I didn’t necessarily believe what I was saying (and again I’m having a hard time explaining here because it never felt like the fandom was making up crap we didn’t stand behind back then! we were serious that we believed it was a darn good connection/theory or photoshop job haha). Ryden used to be like this shared alternate lens to view events through that felt like teamwork to create. We would intentionally pretend like years of full context didn't exist and create our own parallel narrative that could coexist with reality in our minds. But now it feels like people are sharing "Ryden proof" for real as though the piles of creative nonsense are an actual recap of historic events... and you need to pick some kind of "side" to believe? Idk, it's weird. I dropped any remaining nostalgia connected with Ryden content and ended up shifting the tone & focus of my account to organizing actual facts, media, and info about events I remember.

I don't think it's ok that moments in the band's history are often distorted or erased in order to pass off certain examples of “Ryden proof” as real now. It would be a shame for ridiculous Ryden stories to be prioritized as key info about the band while normal info about band members & events gets ignored now (ex: turning Northern Downpour into some kind of Ryden thing totally erases what Ryan wanted to do with the song). A lot of people have told me that they don’t care what actually happened because they prefer their ideas anyways. And that’s fine, as long as you’re aware that what you’re choosing doesn't track with reality. (Also, I always felt like knowing the real events or original photos from a manip gave me more appreciation for how creative people were… but I suppose that’s because Ryden was more about the fandom for me).

SIDE TANGENT: I drifted away from the fandom after summer 2009 when I got sick, so I don’t know specifically what happened over the next couple years to get so many fans who were impressively uninformed about the band yet super intense about Ryden at the same time... but I'm also not surprised I guess. Some knowledge about the band absolutely faded to the background in the last half of 2006 as the overwhelming amount of newer fans invented their own answers and were more interested in freaking out over cute guys than actually taking the time to learn about the band. The knowledge wasn't lost, it was just drowned out for a while in the midst of their enthusiastic chatter. It felt like a waste of time to correct them too because they were absolutely everywhere and they weren't really harming anyone by screaming things like Ryan took his mom as a date to the VMAs lol. Maybe there was a surge of younger fans by 2010-2011 who didn't have the context to know what they were looking at too, and were very enthusiastic about Ryden? I don't know. This is all purely speculation on my part.

I actually don't care whether anyone thinks Ryden was real or not... that's definitely not my focus and I'm not trying to convince anyone of a "side" either. You can conclude whatever you want. My focus in my posts is simply to provide context for some of the inaccurate stories & examples that are currently being passed around as though they're actual history. I don't expect anyone to care. But at least the info is still available for any younger fans who might be interested in the real-life band.

[stoneyweezin]

when i think of a stereotypical stoner i think of pauly shore in encino man. like saying “don’t tax my gig so hardcore cruster” is my favorite thing in the world so… i present to you stoner!reader being adopted into the party (before argyle of course) and more than likely pissing off all the adults.

-

𝘋𝘖𝘕𝘛 𝘉𝘌 𝘚𝘜𝘊𝘏 𝘈 𝘚𝘘𝘜𝘈𝘙𝘌

not proofread

mentions of drug usage. reader is of age.

⋆⁺₊⋆☽⋆ ⋆☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆☽⋆ ⋆☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆☽⋆ ⋆☾⋆⁺₊⋆

first person to catch on to your antics was eddie.

he saw how you were the most functioning high person he’s ever seen.

specifically because his bud would have him pretty chilled out.

it was a dead giveaway after you all had basically fought in an alternate dimension and all you could say was

“these vibes are so grody.”

your tongue sticking out as you fake gagged

on the top side, they had entered the upside down through your closet, surprisingly. billy and steve standing watch, while simultaneously hating each other.

the room smelled like your favorite scent and weed.

steve knowing the smell all to well while it took billy a minute to catch on.

not really liking you or the party but mainly was in it to protect max and also himself from getting possessed again

he mainly didn’t like you because while he was in recovery you told him he looked like “sunshine in a bar”

whatever the hell that meant

but he took it wrong and from that point resented you and your stupid curly hair

speaking of your curly hair… you’d hide joints in it

eddie was jealous he hadn’t thought of it first

mainly picking into your fro hoping you had a spare, which resulted in you two slapping at each others hands like cats in an alleyway

joyce had pulled her humorous moments from you

enjoying how you panicked not so much compared to the rest of the group when things were getting hectic

hopper was sick and tired of you being an absolute ditz at times

you’d look at him with so much confusion when he’d speak, he felt his inner cop wanting out

“ hey hopper, my pal, i get you’re a narc but this is life or death here… i prefer going out with a lil kick in my system yeah?”

he couldn’t stand you and your teenage madness

el had her times where you made her laugh even though she was fighting for her life and others

“hear me out primo, you got some abilities nobody else has. now does that make us useful? not at all but we’ve got heart. we fight, you fight, it’s fair game.”

for some reason pep talks from a person buzzed out their mind was a lot more genuine

it was even once with billy, the brawn, didn’t want anyone to see him panicking about going into the creel house

feeling slight guilt about max being the target after all her trauma…

hence him almost dying

“you freaking out aren’t you?”

“fuck off.”

“hey don’t be so sharp! if it were up to me i’d have you smoked like a chimney but i get you’re struggling buddy.”

your hand would lazily lay on his shoulder as you two sat in front of the creel house

he’d lean into your hand unconsciously but ignoring the look on your face

when the earthquake happened, your house basically fell apart

steve offered you to stay in his house

his parents taking you in with crooked grins because of the fact you were clearly a stoner

it was nights after the earthquake where you’d lay on his floor and talk about everything

“i mean… el is pretty rad. she closed an entire gate to a world just because the chick was pissed creatures were fuckin with her friends.”

steve would nod as he watched you blabber

“if you had powers what would you have?”

your elbows would be at the edge of his bed, eyes gazing into his before his lips would go into a thoughtful flat line

“uh… i don’t know what’s that one power rogue has”

“that chick with the white piece in her hair? so a copycat”

“no not a copycat”

“soooo a copycat.”

you’d fall on the floor giggling at steve trying to save his reasoning

after everything you’d all often help out at the school, sometimes going out and looking for any survivors

obviously you and eddie would catch yourselves sparking up

billy wanting in but once in a blue moon, as well as steve.

[frickingnerd]

please don't say you love me (cause i might not say it back)

pairing: yomi hellsmile x gn!reader

summary: after yomi finds out you've been a spy all along, he holds you at gunpoint to… confess to you?

tags: spy x target (spy!reader), angst (betrayal reveal), gunplay, confession (?), lies & truths, tons of confusion, open ending

there was only one way this would end.

you should've known, when you first joined the peacekeepers, only to spy on them from within, that they'd find out eventually. you should've known how cruel they were and that their leader, yomi hellsmile, would never leave a traitor alive. not when he would go as far as sacrifice his own men, even his own right hand woman. nobody was safe from him. so you should've known you weren't either.

“you never did trust me to begin with, did you?”

yomi had you cornered in his office, catching you red handed, when you were going through his computer. you were completely vulnerable, as he held you at gunpoint. leaning against the door, to block your only exit.

“i wish i could say that i knew from the beginning that you'd betray me. but you actually had me fooled. i'm impressed…”

yomi toyed with the gun in his hands, as he spoke to you. he didn't seem too eager to shoot you, at least not right now. but you were worried he'd accidentally fire at you, so you sunk further into your seat, as you nervously watched him.

“i would've expected that you'd be more suspicious of everyone around you…” you huffed softly, hoping not to upset him too much. but yomi instead chuckled in response and put the gun down for a moment.

“you were always my weakness, you know that?”

yomi's words caught you off guard.

“i've had my eyes on you from the moment you joined the peacekeepers. i've always wished that all those signs pointing at you being a traitor meant something else. that you tried to become my friend, because you liked me, not because you wanted to find my weakness. that you spent all those late nights at the office because you wanted to be near me, not because i was just another target for you. i've let my guard down around you, hoping you'd one day realize how i felt about you. and then you stab me in the back, betraying me and the peacekeepers like this…”

you've had never seen yomi so emotional, so genuine with what he was saying. this was a completely new side of him. he never seemed like he cared about anyone. so why had he fallen for you of all people? and just as you thought those things…

“did you really believe i cared about you?”

yomi burst out into laughter, raising the gun in his hands and waving it around as he laughed maniacally. and just like that, the words he said made sense again. of course, he'd never love you. even thinking he could possibly love anyone was a preposterous thought.

“aww, what's wrong? you were blushing just now, but now you're all serious again. don't tell me a spy like you can't even recognize when someone is lying to them”

yomi was just toying with you at this point, you were sure of it. as he slowly approached you, gun pointing at your head, he was grinning to himself. as he leaned against the table, towering over you in your seat, he continued to smile.

“well, do you think i was lying to you, my little spy? or do you think i've been telling the truth?” yomi asked, as he gently pointed the gun against your forehead. “let's play a little game. if you can guess which one is right, i'll let you live. so tell me; do i really love you? or was it all just a lie?”

[gae-bug]

A slight hyper fixation is forming on the movie coco so here are some things I jotted down while rewatching it last night.

-We first see Dante next to a shop that sells a bunch of alebrijes

-miguel commenting on how cool de la curz’s guitar is And how his fav song is remember me little does he know that that's hectors guitar and the song he wrote for coco, also he knew they were connected in some way

-they keep up with the dimple only on one side thingy

-the talent of this kid for being able to make a functioning guitar from scraps lying around is fucking amazing, even if his shine for de la curz is a stong fire hazzard-

-learnt by just watching and hearing without actually being taught!!!?!?!?! Bro is insanely good

-"I'm gonna play even if it kills me!" The universe took that a Lil to literally lol

-oh Dante, he shall always be my favorite animal character in a movie

-the collective gasp

-at least Miguel's dad showed some sing of 'okay this is a little to far’ when she went to smash the gitaur

-the way he folds the picture the opposite way, so instead of Hector being the one left out its Imelda

-just casually stealing from the dead, smart move tho with the fire work.

-I like that the petals start to flicker

-how did people realize it was missing so fast bro

-"oh hey Miguel.….😨😨😨😨”

-the city in the land of the dead is so pretty but would also be terrifying as someone who is afraid of heights.

-Hector has no eyebrows, he does got some sick move tho

-I love that everybody's afraid of imelda lol

-imaging still having to work a service job in the after life-

-again Dante is my favorite

-Hector has a broken rib

-I also love Hector's confusion, he's like tf u mean that asshole has KIDSS!!!?!?!!?!??!

-Hector’s guitar has a golden tooth just like him!

-Dante being the best count like 15 lol

-would all these dancer s also get in legal trouble for faking unibrows or do they get a pass bc it was a celebrities idea?

-coresction, Hector had SEVERAL broken ribs.

-"what do you know" alot buddy, A LOT.

-bro took his femur, and DIDNT RETURN IT-

-okay, ik I said Hector had no eyebrows and that is true but basically nobody else really does either but it's more noticeable to me on Hector because of him taking off the fake eyebrows.

-the fucking detail on Miguels face, you can see his skin through the face paint as if it was real.

-the foreshadowing from looking at the shot glasses, one dunk, one still full.

-the nuns are also playing remember me before they even said that everybody is playing it

-one of his arm and one of his leg bones are also being held together by what I think is gauze? Idk it's blue it might be ribbon.

-I love hectors excitement when migeul stars playing poco loca, especially considering that it was most likely a song HE wrote about Imelda

-he called Miguel's musical fantasy stupid bc his got him killed.

-skeleton horses have been spotted, plus 10 points(I say as if I'm keeping a point counter lmao)

-him laughing and genuinely having fun with people who actually enjoyed his music

-he looks better as a skeleton low key- (de la cruz)

- yk there's a thing called stairs Miguel…

-the shock on del la curz’s face bc he knows he DID NOT have children, but he sees this as an opportunity to get more famous so he runs with it

- notice how he doesn't mention him leaving his family bc he didn't leave a family

-can't believe this dude has pools in the shape of the gitaur that he murdered his best friend for.

-he murdered his best friend, stole his guitar, stole his songs AND profited off his death by putting in a move and making himself seem like the victim in that situation.

-all Hector cares about is seeing his daughter one last time

-takes his guitar before Hector even hits the ground.

-when Imelda says I give you my blessing the petal lights up but when de la curz says it the petals stays normal

-as soon as de la curz is meant to be seen as the bad guy you see him in green and purple lighting, colors Disney like to use for villains.

-even though he is fading hectors first priority was comforting miguel

-THE DETAIL ON EVEN THE TINIEST OF THINGS BRO

-seeing Hector with skin is weird to me for some reason, maybe it's just because I'm so used to seeing him without it.

-Dante very well has over a hundred points for being the best at this point

-hector holding his hat like a sad wet cat.

-Imelda has earings but no ears-

-"she’s talking about me! I'm the love of your life!?" One of my favorite moments lol

-bro was stupid enough to keep the photo in his pocket.

-"I don't know what I said" "that's what I heard 🤭😏"

-'that's interesting yk why,’ 'why?' 'Because- *runs away*' seriously tho the run he does lmao

-this entire family got moves bro, and are also very good at avoiding the cops.

-I hate this fucking asshole

-YES! PUT HIM ON BLAST!!!!!!

-dont you fucking call him 'old freond' you fucking bitch

-yes boo him off the stage! Throw your tomatoes!!!!

-bell: 2 Ernesto: 0

-you can start to see Miguel's skull through his skin

-her earrings are just pierced through her cheekbones-

-he follows the petals home

-"not all of us" STOPPPPP.

-I'm glad they didn't try to make it seem like he was singing perfectly and instead had it so you can hear the tears in his voice

-it's dirty gauze and duct tape that's holding his bones together btw

- it's been a year and bro has not gotten better clothes.

Edit: ok hector actually did get some slightly better clothes I think but like they are very similar to his old clothes and seem a lot worse compared to the rest of his family’s

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Hanahaki (Words better left unsaid(?))

Fuck it i'm splitting it into parts. this is part one. ALL OF IT IS IN ONE DOC THATS SEVEN PAGES LONG AND STILL NOT COMPLETE. HERE'S THE FIRST FOUR PAGES.

Anyways this is filled with headcanons because only the MSS demo is out. HERE YOU GO BORIS I HOPE YOU LIKE FUCKING. CHUBEE BEING ANTISOCIAL OR WHATEVER IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT.

EAT THE ANGST WHILE I GO AND MAKE MYSELF SOMETHING TO EAT FOR I HUNGER.

also a friend and I wrote a fic with our OCs that involved Hanahaki like. 2 years ago. And the resolve of that fic was that the sickly person lost their memory and thats how the hanahaki was rid of. and i liked that idea so Input "FORGETTING UR LOVED ONES WILL CURE YOU OF THE FLOWERS!!!" in here.

Uhhh tw for Hanahaki, memory loss caused by concussion, and idk what else. please ask me if you need something tagged cuz i genuinely have no idea what to tag.

also i had to replay all the routes in the demo so I could do my best to write the personalities. I mainly just like kicking chubee while he's down because. idk actually. ig its just cuz i like him as a character? I'm really tired

im going to stop rambling pls just read this so i can get back to working on the second part AND my other angst fics. and the singular happy fic in my WIP collection.

Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. Chubee knew the feeling well. Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. His heart was pounding, and his stomach was spinning about. Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. Rongdien was snort-laughing at Matu, who had tripped over Aloiki’s fake tail and fallen flat on his face.

Rongdien was one of the hardest of the group to make friends with, it took the beekeeper a while to figure out how to make them grin. While everyone else was somewhat open with their interests, they had remained stone-faced.

That frustrated Chubee, although he hated showing it. Deep down, he felt that he was only good for jokes and “therapy”. Nobody really cared about him, nobody wanted to know what he was interested in, or what he had gone through in life. So when someone didn’t see him as good for either, he could only feel hollow. If he didn’t have a purpose, why should he live?

The red-head glanced at the blonde, gaze clouding with confusion. “You’re staring, ‘Bee. Why are you staring, Chubee.” Their voice wasn’t loud, but it was commanding enough to make Chubee stand up straight.

“Sorry, Mx. ‘dien.” He tried for a grin, but it was hard to manage. Their amber eyes were sharp, piercing him through and making his knees wobble, making it hard for him to stand.

“Why are you staring.” Rongdien repeated, making the beekeeper attempt to straighten up even moreso. 

“Don’t see you laugh often, is all!” There was something bitter rising in his throat, and his breath was growing hard. “I don’t feel so well, though.” He kept the grin up as he backed up, the bitterness growing.

He booked it. Chubee ran down the halls, ran towards his room. He slammed his door open as fast as he could, before his knees buckled. Petals flooded out of his mouth, that of the red windflower. Typically, he would’ve stared in awe, but they were coming from his mouth.

“No, no, no.” He whispered, tears welling in his eyes. He had this sickening curse once before, back before he graduated, and someone else had to tell him years later.

“You had this sickness. “Hanahaki”, I believe it is called. You were spewing up entire bouquet’s worth of purple petals. 

Chubee was unusually still. His hands weren’t patting his knees, his foot wasn’t tapping the ground, his eye wasn’t twitching. 

“It was weird that you were missing so much school, y’know. Everyone was worried, even…” the brunette paused, her lips pursing. “Even Pedro.”

The name hung in the air, and she stared at him like he was about to spew out an entire flower again.

“Maria, it’s fiiiineeeee!” He hated how his voice wavered, “I’m over it. You know how? I got a concussion.”

Maria’s eyebrows furrowed, and she looked at him quizzically. “How would that help?!”

The blonde just shrugged, taking off his gloves and touching his fingers to his palm repeatedly. “I had a talk with Carmen,” he tried to keep any and all emotion out of his tone. “ ‘Pparently, forgetting the one you love helps. It’s why I didn’t show up for the rest of the year, either.”

She still bore a concerned expression, and Chubee itched with discomfort. He never knew how to react whenever someone showed concern for him.

“Y’know, Carmen has a killer throw. Never trust ‘em with a tennis ball, you’ll regret it.” Shivers went down his spine, but he tried to sound like he was joking. “Knocked me straight out. Only knew he did it because he was next to me at the hospital.”

Maria glanced out the window– the sun was setting, and it caused a beautiful gradient to cover her face. Blue, pink, orange, and then yellow. “He said you got a bad concussion, and everyone wanted to see you… Many people are fond of you, Garcia.”

Chubee had no retort to make, as much as he wish he did. 

“At the beginning of the school year, when the teacher made us do an introduction assignment… a lot of people remembered your interest in beekeeping from that day. It’s why Jaime got you the bee plushie, and why Lucia and I saved up to get you those bee-themed pixie lights.” She raised a finger, pointing at his hat– the one he always wore. “It’s why Antonio got you that.”

Chubee snapped back to the present, he had lingered on that memory for too long. What purpose had there been to think back to it? He already knew that he just needed to forget. Forgetting was a lot easier than opening up about his feelings.

“You blood-havers are strange.” A metallic, squeaky, voice rang from above him.

He jolted, looking above and wiping his mouth. “Estelia.” He muttered, his tone bitter with hatred.

The robot just giggled, hovering in the air before staring at the petals. “That’s gross. Humans are gross.”

She began to ramble, but he cut her off as keeled over, pressing his palms into the hardwood flooring and cringing as more petals spilled out of his mouth, accompanied by dots of blood.

“You should see a doctor.” Estelia vanished after saying that, although her steel-cold giggles still echoed about in the halls.

Chubee ignored that comment. He was too busy thinking about who could help him forget. 

Maybe Carolia could hit him on the head, whether it be with fist or hammer. Carolia never did seem to like others, so perhaps he wouldn’t ask questions.

There was a knock at his doorway, and dread filled his chest.

“Nice petals.” The voice was monotone, uninterested, and yet somewhat amused. “I don’t see that every day.”

Chubee did his best to gain his composure, but it was difficult.

“Mina says hi, by the way.” the brunette crouched down, patting Chubee on the back. “I can see if any of Mina’s medicine can help with the petals. With all the medicine substitution needed in my field, I’m sure I have something that could aid.”

Mezsha stood up with furrowed eyebrows, pulling Chubee up by the hood of his jacket. “But,” she continued after a long inhale. “It won’t be a permanent solution. There are three ways to survive this. But there are four ways to come out of this sickness.”

His throat was dry as he spoke. “How can I survive?”

Mina chortled at Chubee’s voice, which stung slightly, but it wasn’t important at the moment. Mezsha seemed to be thinking.

“Well,” She said after a few minutes, “I’ll dumb this down as much as I can, for your sake. The first way you can survive is by confessing your feelings– but your feelings must be returned. Obviously.”

The bee-keeper buzzed softly, kicking at the petals and pursing his lips. His parents stopped showing care for him long ago, and it taught him something. Never, ever, be honest with your feelings. Even in a life or death situation, don’t be honest. It’ll just hurt you in the end.

“The second way is surgery. I’m the only one here capable of performing such a feat– at least, without you risking some sort of infection. Also, I don’t know if the others would be able to perform it right. This is the most simple way, especially with how you’ll lose your feelings after, but you’ll have to place a lot of trust in me.”

Mina squealed and swiped the air.

“And, no, Mina won’t be in the room for it. That would be unsanitary.”

The blonde buzzed in amusement, rolling his shoulders. “Thanks for the reassurance. Really makes the idea less scary.”

The veterinarian stared at Chubee, a small spark of entertainment darting through her honey-yellow eyes. “Do not use sarcasm against me, Garcia. Moving on, the third way to survive such a condition is to—”

“Lose your memory.” The words burst out of his mouth, and as soon as he realized he cut her off, he took a few steps back. “Sorry.”

Mezsha’s glasses slipped down the bridge of her nose, her eyes narrowed as she stared at the beekeeper. “Most people don’t know about that, how do you?”

Chubee had never been as honest as he had been in that moment. Words spilled out without a stop put to them, and it felt like he was going to crumple over. He explained everything, how he had had the disease once before, and how a classmate told him that memory loss would help, and how the concussion left him hospitalized for a month– the last month of the school year.

He explained how hard it was for him to be honest with his emotions, because it never felt like anyone would ever care. How all the tears he forced down were trapped because he didn’t want to be picked on for crying, how he was scared of anyone getting too close because he might become attached and he didn’t want to grieve when he was abandoned.

He could only stop when his hyperventilation became too much to speak through, and it was then that he realized how nice it felt to cry. To let all he bottled up, flow out. And his words hung in the air, only interrupted by his sharp sobs and sharp, uneven, breath.

Inhale, inhale, inhale, inhale, exhale, exhale, in. He could almost feel Mezsha’s pitiful gaze, he didn’t have to look up. Exhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. His heart was pumping, and tears dripped off of his chin and to the hardwood tile. Inhale, exhale, inhale, inhale, exhale.

A fluffy heap was pushed into his chest.

“Bah!” It was a tiny, yet high-pitched, roar. Mina.

He wrapped an arm around the bear cub, tears clearing from his vision as he spoke gently. “Oh, hello there, Mina…”

Mina chortled again, turning her head to stare at her care-taker. “Raaah?”

Mezsha’s jaw was tight, and her eyebrows were furrowed together. “Keep holding Mina until you calm down. Petting her may help.” Her voice was much softer than usual, even with a hint of sorrow in it. 

Chubee’s breath slowed down bit by bit, and tears were no longer welling in his eyes. His eyes stung from dryness, and his cheeks were burning from the lament.

“Thank you for opening up.” 

He looked up, and Mezsha was slightly crouched to his height. Her eyes were damp with sympathy, and her irises were much more of a marigold color.

His words caught in his throat for a mere second. “I shouldn’t have.”

Mezsha tapped her finger against the wall, her gaze clouding and growing distant. “No, it’s okay. Bottling up emotions will never do you any good, and it will only cause harm.” 

A snarky comment came to mind, but he let Mezsha continue.

“But you should not be forced to confess your feelings, or to let others know at all times how you truly feel. So perhaps we should head back to the original topic.” 

“That would be appreciated.” Chubee’s voice was nothing more than a whisper.

----

[kooktrash]

campus affairs | jeon jungkook

summary: you transferred to a new college during second semester and you didn’t expect much excitement out for. that’s until jungkook came along and what had struggled to be a friendship was becoming so much more.

warnings: 11.9k. college au. smut. fluff. f2l. y/n is new. Jungkook is kinda tsundere. mutual pining. friendship. college life. bakery fluff. protected sex. make out. groping/fondling. hand job. oral [m]. riding. light dirty talk. very smitten characters.

He didn't say anything for a long moment. Instead he stared at his two friends blankly. They had huge smiles on their faces as they waited for him to respond. He wasn't sure what they wanted him to say but it didn't matter. Nothing came to mind anyway. What was he supposed to say? He didn't know you, he didn't care to, but it's not like he had a reason for it. He didn't have a single reason to tell them no when you've done anything to him. It wasn't even your fault he felt this way, he just did.

Even when you gave him a bright, polite smile he didn't react. You looked down to the other two awkwardly, "It's fine, I can find another group."

"No, we want you here," Sia told you, "Sit, Jungkook's just an asshole but he'll warm up to you."

"It's alright," you told her looking back to Jungkook in confusion and that made him feel bad. He didn't mean to have such a bored expression or make you feel bad. He just didn't like the effort it took into meeting new people. Hence why his closest friends are the two girls he's known since middle school and nobody else.

"Wait," he called out just as you were turning to leave, "Stay."

You looked down to Sia and Yuna who smiled widely pointing to the empty spot next to Sia. Yuna sat across with Jungkook, "Y/n this is Jungkook, Jungkook this is Y/n. She's new, you would've noticed if you actually went to the lecture today."

"I overslept," Jungkook said with a shrug looking up at the stranger now sitting across from him. Had his friends really befriended you that easy?

They did do it that easy. They were the only ones with an open seat in the lecture hall. When you approached them they were quick to get to know you. It was the second month of the semester and you were transferring Universities. The only reason you did it is because this one provided classes your previous school didn't. When the professor advised you to join a study group Yuna and Sia were quick to invite you to theirs. You didn't expect the other member of the group to be intimidating tatted guy with piercings—not that it looked bad.

"Here's my notes from the unit we just did," Sia said sliding you her laptop letting you type in your email so she could send you the documents. Yuna leaned forward from her spot, "So, any plans tonight?"

"Hm?" You weren't expecting her question considering you'd only met her an hour ago. Yuna smiled, "I asked if you're doing anything tonight? We're going to go out for chicken and Soju. You should join us."

"Yes! You should come with us, we'll go after we're done here and have dinner," Sia added on smiling widely in anticipation. They were like a dose of serotonin Jungkook lacked. Maybe that's why he stuck with them for so long.

"Uh, I don't know..." if it was just the girls you'd say yes. Why wouldn't you want to meet people this quickly? But he was making you debate on going or not. He didn't seem interested in meeting anyone knew and he already didn't look happy letting you into their study group.

Jungkook got up leaving to find a textbook he needed to borrow for reference to an essay he was working on. He roamed the aisle closest to his friends and only looked over when one of them spoke a little too loud. You were smiling now along with them, laughing about something he couldn't hear. Your face lit up when you smiled and it looked genuine. You didn't pay attention to him but Jungkook didn't mind that.

People never expected him to best friends with such lovely girls but that's just how things happened. He was in a rough place in middle school, his parents always fighting, his older sibling moving out, his grades dropping. He was always sad and tired and Yuna was the first to be nice to him. She let him copee her notes, sat with him at lunch and basically befriended him when nobody else did. Then of course Sia came along attached to Yuna and they treated him warmly. He wasn't necessarily a quiet person but he was closed off. He only let certain people in and they were some of them.

This isn't the first time Yuna and Sia have adopted a newbie into their care but they've never stuck around—or one of them would end up crushing on Jungkook and get mad when he's not interested. The only guys that came around wanted just wanted to sleep with them and when Jungkook would tell them off for it they'd leave. He hated hearing guys talk about his friends like that. He wasn't interested in either one of them romantically and he doesn't think he ever has. They're just friends, and they were bringing you along this time.

He wondered if you were gonna be like the last chick they hung out with, Soomin. Sia and Yuna were so nice to her but she didn't care for it. She asked Jungkook out and when he rejected her she was rude to them as if it was their fault. So when he told her off for being a rude bitch apparently he was an asshole. He didn't care, they were like sisters to him. His older brother took care of him so why would he take care of those closest to him?

"I have to work tonight," You had been saying when Jungkook got back to the table. Sia frowned, "Where do you work?"

"A bakery," you told her, "It closes at 9:00 thought since it's a part of a plaza that closes at that time."

"Do you get a lot of customers then?" Yuna asked disregarding her homework leaving Jungkook the only one working surprisingly. You shook your head, "Not really, on slow days we'll get like four customers through the shift and they're usually regulars."

"Tell us the name and we'll stop by some day," She said to you and you did just that.

The second time he saw you was during class, when he actually managed to show up. You were sitting on the inside of the row while Yuna sat at the end of it with Sia. He had to make his way through to get to the empty seat next to you.

"Surprise, surprise," Sia said leaning forward to look at him, "Somebody finally made it to class."

"Don't get used to it," Jungkook said with a huff making his cheeks round as he looked to you for a quick moment. You stood out to him in a pink knitted vest and shoes that matched in color. You wore gold jewelry and your lashes looked long, for some reason that gave you a more enticing look. You turned suddenly, catching him in the act of staring.

"Do you have a pencil I can borrow?" He asked hoping that would cover his awful attempt at being discreet. You opened up your pencil pouch shaped like a caterpillar with antennas and began searching for it. You pulled out two mechanical pencils biting your lips nervously, "Sorry, this is the only one I have unless you want to write with a pink pen."

He looked at the purple mechanical pencil with lavender hearts on it and a heart-shaped eraser. Down on your desk space was a matching pink mechanical pencil that must've been from the same pack and he took it. He had to keep his cover story straight so you wouldn't think he's weird for staring. He studied the pencil, it was cute and he didn't feel embarrassed using it. Every now and then he'd look over and catching you writing with the matching pink one. Sometimes he'd see you two if against your lip when you read something. Throughout the lecture he used the purple pencil, even used the heart eraser a couple times. He got some weird stares from some guys but when they saw yours they shrugged it off probably thinking it was a couple thing.

After class you packed up your things before he did and before he could give it back to you, you were rushing out the class late for another early lecture. With a small sigh he put the pencil in his black backpack and left with Sia and Yuna. The pencil looked ridiculous with his black and white school supplies but it added a pop of color.

"We should go to Y/n's work," Yuna said after her last class when she met up with Sia and Jungkook at the bus stop, "I wanna try whatever pastries they have there."

"Yes! I want to try some too, wanna come with?" Sia asked turning to Jungkook. He thought about it for a second. He could either go home and have some ramen, or he could go try some dessert. Never one to turn down food he hopped on the bus heading toward a different direction than his apartment.

In reality he didn't have to ride the bus. He had a nice Mercedes Benz waiting in his family home's parking garage left unused. His father bought it for him when he was old enough to get a license but Jungkook never uses it. It'd be another thing he's reminded of, how his family controls everything in his life. How they'll use it against him when he doesn't do what they say and he's just not interested in that. Instead he used his allowance for a bus pass and at least that way he can ride with Sia and Yuna whenever.

The bakery you worked at was very warm, it smelled delicious and it was pretty. That's what Jungkook noticed first. The glass cases were lit up with a yellow hue that illuminates whoever stood behind it and currently that was you wearing a cream colored apron and your hair pinned back. You smiled at the group who you'd gotten acquainted with this past week. Even surprised to see Jungkook had willingly come here when he's been pretty closed off.

Not that you minded him being more serious around you. You've heard stories from Sia and Yuna and they always made him way more lively than he is around you. You wondered if you made him uncomfortable or annoyed but this morning he asked for a pencil and the only one you had was covered in hearts. Still though, he used it and it felt like a triumph. He was clearly a private person and you had just recently started hanging out with the other two so there's not much you can say on that matter.

"Hey," you said when they got to the counter after checking the place out. There was a couple at a table and a few high school students at another but beside that it wasn't busy at all. Sia looked down at the bakery case, "I need you to tell me what's the best thing here before I buy everything."

"And she will," Yuna said peering into it too. Jungkook hovered over them taking a peak too, practically tasting the pastry on his tongue. You pointed to the one you liked and they each ordered one and Jungkook ordered a second too. "Can you sit with us for a while or do you have to stay behind the counter?" Yuna asked once they paid with your employee discount added in.

"I can but if someone goes up I have to go look," you said leading them to a round table leaving you between Jungkook and Sia. "This place is so cute, do you have to close alone?" Sia asked you as she cut a slice into the pastry.

"Yeah but it's not hard, it's just pretty dark by the time I'm off," you said with a shrug. You had a full ride scholarship so you really only worked for your housing and food but even that wasn't too expensive. You lived in a pretty cheap old apartment but it was close to your new school and you didn't usually get that many groceries. You worked three days out of the week and once on the weekends so with that plus tips you were making it. Unfortunately that just meant you didn't have much spending money and you had to work longer shifts when you were done with classes.

"Do you walk home?" Jungkook asked suddenly, speaking to you finally aside from when ordered his pastry. You shook your head looking back to him and the big forkful of cake he was holding up. He shoved it in his mouth waiting for an answer from you.

"I usually catch the bus," you told him making his brows furrow. The bus is like a ten minute walk from the shopping plaza and that meant you had to walk to it alone at night.

"That's scary," Sia piped in, "Please be safe when you're closing up."

"When do you work?" Jungkook asked looking at you again like he was concerned but you probably saw wrong. You told him your schedule which was usually Monday's, Wednesday's, Friday's and sometimes Saturday's. He nodded his head in acknowledgement looking back to his pastry as he finished the first one already reaching out for the second.

It's not that he should worry or anything but then he thinks about Sia and Yuna. They're like sisters to him and if either of them got off work so late then he'd be concerned about their safety. He didn't know you well but he couldn't imagine you walking home alone and some creep approaching you. He can remember your schedule, that way Yuna and Sia will feel more at ease knowing you won't walk home alone. Yeah that's it, it's for them not to worry.

"That was literally amazing, how do you work here without eating everything?" Sia asked as she finished up her pastry. You gave her a smile, "After a while it gets tiring but when we have extra dessert usually I'll take it home. I can take you some if you'd like, they'd only be a day old."

"Please!" They said unanimously. Just then the wind chime above the door rang and a gust of wind hit the table making you stand up lifting a finger to them motioning for them to give you a second. You left to the counter feeling a tug on your arm when you were walking making you whip around in surprise.

A smile spread across his face, "Not even gonna say hi?"

Your eyes widened, "Tae Tae!" Your arms flew around his neck suddenly making him stumble back a step as he caught you by the waist. The three you'd gotten to know stared in confusion and surprise as you and the handsome stranger started talking.

"You think that's Y/n's boyfriend?" Sia asked turning to the other two. Jungkook studied the guy a little closer, he seemed warm and friendly compared to him. Jungkook shrugged as he turned to look out the window lit up by large bulb string lights. Yuna nodded, "Probably. Y/n's pretty and that guy is hot. Did you see the way they greeted each other?"

He looked back to the two at the register. Was that your type? He looked like the artistic type, the kind who'd spend his time listening to jazz music and enjoying a piece of art. Jungkook preferred working out, music, photography and sometimes painting. It really depended on his mood. He couldn't deny how soft the man looked compared to Jungkook's harder exterior.

"Guys this is my most bestest friend in the entire world, Taehyung these are my new classmates," you introduced him like a pepperoni pizza with too much pepperoni [lil Caesar's lol]. Taehyung have a subtle wave as he looked over the trio as you said their names.

"Did you come all the way here to surprise Y/n?" Sia asked curiously but Taehyung just shook his head no. "I was in the area and stopped by."

"He would never go out of his way to see me. He doesn't care about me," you joked as you sat back down with the group looking back to him, "Pull up a chair." Taehyung shook his head, his hand going to the top of your head, "I've gotta catch the Subway but thanks for the food, Ugly."

"Because you're so cute, right?" You glared looking up at him but he only smiled. "I am."

"Anyways, it was nice meeting you, please take care of Y/n, she's a little slow," Taehyung joked making you smack his arm as he pulled it away from your head. He did a quick wave goodbye and left.

"Oh my God, be honest, is he your boyfriend?" Yuna rushed to speak. Your brows furrowed before a look of disgust crossed your face, "Ew, no. We met in an art study class freshman year of College and we became friends since."

"You're an art major? How didn't we know that?" Sia asked making you shrug. "Because we only take prerequisite courses together and since I've only been here a week and a half I haven't had a project yet?"

Jungkook wasn't fully listening anymore. His eyes were staring out the window where the guy had walked past. So you weren't dating him but you were obviously close enough for him to stop by here. How was he not worried about how late you'd be getting off if he's supposed to be your friend?

"We'll wait for you to close so we can all head home together," Yuna said checking the time. Jungkook nodded in agreement even if he didn't say anything.

         "Jungkook! I said you have to go!" Sia yelled at him the following Friday night. Even though you had to work today you didn't have to close the bakery and got off a little earlier. Once your new friends found out they asked to come over for some drinks and food which was currently what you were doing. You're out of Soju so you all did rock paper scissors to see who would buy and Jungkook lost against the three of you. Now you were all arguing.

"I don't even know where the store is here!" Jungkook said making you sighed. "I'll just go," you said standing up using the coffee table for support. Sia pulled on your pants, "No, he lost he has to go. He's just complaining."

"It's fine, the store's just a couple streets down," you told her watching her let go of you so you could go get your wallet and put your shoes on. With an annoyed huff Jungkook was getting up too, "I'll go with then, that way you can show me which store is closest."

"Ooh can we snoop your art while you're gone?" Yuna asked pointing to the spare room you had filled with art canvases. You nodded letting them go and do that while you waited for Jungkook to finish getting his shoes on, "I can go by myself."

"I lost so I should be going by myself," he shrugged but he didn't tell you to stay behind. He held the door open for you as you left down the hall toward the elevator, neither really saying anything. When you got down to the front entrance you hadn't expected it to be so windy out. You hugged your arms to your chest for warmth and began leading the way to the convenience store late at night.

"Are you cold?" He asked after a minute or two of watching you shiver. You looked back to him shaking your head no. It made him laugh softly before he was coming to a halt making you stop too. You watched as he reached for the back of his hoodie pulling it forward until it was slipping off. "Wear this," he said holding it out to you revealing a white long sleeve shirt.

"Won't you be cold?" You asked moving out of reach so he couldn't hand it to you. He told you no but you were still reluctant to take it. Jungkook has slowly been warming up to you but you can't say you're as close with him as you are with Sia and Yuna. Sure, the four of you were in a group chat and study group together, and often times had lunch together but he didn't talk to you that much.

You face forward to walk again but you didn't even make it a step forward when something thick and warm was being draped over your head covering you in a scent of expensive cologne. Your hands went up to fight his hold as he pulled the hoodie down for your head to peak out. You turned to glare at him as he finished slipping the oversized hoodie on you letting you poke your arms into the sleeves. He cleared his throat as he took a step away from you suddenly shy with how forward he'd been. His fist covered his mouth as he looked away from you, "Isn't that better?"

"Are you sure you won't be cold?" You asked adjusting the hoodie to fit you better but it was no use. It was too big and it smelled just like him. You shamelessly brought the front to your nose, "You smell really good. What do you use?"

"Yves Saint Laurent," he told you, cheeks flushing red along with the tip of his nose walking next to you again. He caught you taking another whiff of the hoodie and it had him pulling his sleeve to his nose to see if he still had the scent on him. The store was in a more populated section of your neighborhood with more store fronts lit up and he held the door open for you to go in.

The hoodie reached about your mid thigh and the sleeves were way too long so you kept having to slide them up.

He grabbed a basket letting you fill it with snacks before going to the liquor section. "Have you ever had cinnamon caramel ice cream?" You asked him suddenly as you stood in front of a freezer filled with ice cream.

"No," he said simply watching you open the door and pull out a pint of the ice cream and dropping it into the basket. Once you had the Soju the two of you headed over to the register. You fumbled with your wallet reaching into the too big front pocket of the hoodie as the cashier finished ringing your total up and when you finally got it out Jungkook was tapping his phone against the machine.

"Have a good night," the female cashier said with starry eyes as she stared at Jungkook. He took the bags before you could reach for them and it had you tugging him back, "I'll help you."

He shook you off making you whine, stomping a foot in the process, "You paid, let me help you."

"No," he said as the two of you stepped back out, "If you want to help you could grab the ice cream and let me try it."

He liked how expressive you were. You didn't shy away from touch or stop yourself from saying things that were on your mind like when you told him his perfume smelled great. You proceeded to smell his hoodie, and ultimately him, maybe he should wear it more often. You also had lively reactions compared to his monotonous ones. It was like a breath of fresh air and when the wind picked up your hair making you fight to tame it, it made you look prettier than usual.

"You're gonna love it, it's so good," you reached for the small plastic spoon that came with the pint and popped the lid open. You scooped up a decent amount going to hand it to him. Jungkook tried sliding the bags down his wrists but they were heavy. You held the spoon out to him, "Here."

He bit his lip in thought as the two of you stopped. He looked down to the spoon before bending his knees so he was eye level with you and let his mouth open slightly. You pushed the spoon past his lips and as they close around the plastic his eyes locked on yours. Your brows raised, "Well?"

He stood straight again swallowing the small bite he took ignoring the sudden race in his heart before nodding, "It's good."

"Told you so," you smiled as you took a bite for yourself. The walk back to your apartment was quiet aside from the time you'd bring the spoon to his lips to give him a taste.

      Jungkook noticed early on that he was really seeing you as a friend. He found himself caring about you the same way he cared about Yuna and Sia. The main difference is he found himself thinking about you even more than necessary. He wasn't sure what it was but you had managed to weasel your way closer to him and he was definitely happy about that.

He'll admit, he did get a little more protective with you when others came around. He wasn't vocal about it but he hovered like he was doing now but with Sia and Yuna.

"Thanks again for letting me borrow your study guide, some guy, Jimin, said catching up with the four when they had gotten back from lunch. Now you were standing a few feet away from them talking to Jimin, "Let me treat you to a meal. When are you free?"

"Oh, um," you didn't know what to say. It's not that you wanted to turn him down but honestly you're so busy with catching up with the semester and work. You bit your lip in thought, "How about I give you my number so we can plan?"

"Do you think he's her type?" Jungkook asked the other two curiously. Don't ask him why he was curious, he just was. Sia shrugged, "Isn't Park Jimin everyone's type?"

"They've been talking a while, should we just go?" Jungkook asked slightly bothered by the fact that you were still talking. You and him had class together next and he wanted to leave already.

"Why? Is it bother you that they're talking? You seem awfully interested in those two," Yuna pointed out making Sia nod in agreement. Jungkook rolled his eyes in time to see you and Jimin say your goodbyes.

"We're gonna be late," Jungkook said when you finally caught up to them. You signed, "I know, sorry."

"It's alright," he said as you two split from Sia and Yuna, "How did it go with Jimin?"

He looked over to you as the two of you walked down the stairs heading toward another prerequisite course you shared.

You gave a shrug, "It was fine I guess. I always feel bad when someone asks me out because I seriously don't have time unless it's last minute."

"Isn't that kind of worse?" Jungkook asked, holding the door to the hall open for you so the two of you could sit in for your next class, "Like always having to tell people you can't hang out if they message you last minute?"

You shook your head, "I mean, like I'm the one making plans last minute. I rarely have free time so when I do, it's unplanned and I end up just hoping someone wants to spend time with me."

He nodded in understanding. He didn't have the same type of busy schedule as you did. Frankly, he just didn't have to pay for school, or anything else. Maybe he was just spoiled but his parents pay for everything including a luxury apartment and a Mercedes Benz.

He already knows that he doesn't have to worry about work and supporting himself so he has way too much free time. He wishes he could understand you better but he also didn't want to act like he did because he didn't. He didn't have to work to feed himself or keep a roof over his head while attending college full time. But, in a sense, if you ever did randomly ask him to hang out because you had time off, he'd be free whenever.

       You hated yourself for thinking Jungkook was so unbelievably attractive. It wouldn't be such a problem if he wasn't your friend but because he was you didn't want to think that. Despite it being close to midterms you've yet to meet that many people aside from Yuna, Jungkook, and Sia.

You didn't want to lose a friend just because you started catching feelings for Jungkook. How awful would that be.

You were too busy cleaning the inside of the muffin case to pay attention to the wind chimes, barely muttering a greeting at the customer who came in. Jungkook smiled a little at the fact you were clearly stepping on a step stool to be able to reach the case, "You open?"

You looked over, a smile spreading across your lips, "What if I say no?"

"Then I guess I'll just have to come back another time," he walked over to where you were passing a couple college students doing homework. He leaned against the front counter smiling warmly, "Hey."

"Hey," you breathed out finally getting down from the stepping stool, "What are you doing here? Came for more cake?"

"And other things," he shrugged looking down at the warm cases, "I was in the area and I had a feeling you'd be closing tonight. I had a sudden craving for some carrot cake and I figured since it's late I can just wait for you to close so I can walk you home."

"Well isn't that sweet of you?" You asked already sliding the glass and grabbing parchment paper to pick up the carrot cake with white frosting and a chocolate orange carrot on top, "Also, this carrot is so you."

"Am I supposed to know what you mean by that?" He asked walking over to the register watching you put the slice of cake on a small plate. He waited for you to ring it up but you didn't, instead sliding it over to him as you said, "You've got bunny teeth, did you know that? And you scrunch your nose a lot."

"Wow, and here I am trying to seem tough while you're comparing me to a fur ball," he sighed dramatically waiting for you to lift the counter top and join him at a table, "What color bunny?"

You didn't hesitate when you said, "Black."

He scrunched his nose in response, "That's fitting. Want me to tell you yours?"

"Have you been thinking about it?" You asked as he cut a small piece of cake with his fork and offered it to you. He nodded, "For the past two minutes, yeah."

"Cat," he said simply, "But personality wise? Puppy?"

"Why puppy?" You asked swallowing the bite of cake he'd given you. He shrugged, "Sometimes you're energetic and it's cute."

You tried finding a proper response without sounding flirty and when you came up blank you were lucky enough to be saved by the wind chimes. You left him at the table to go work and he sat back watching you.

Why did he feel different with you compared to how he felt around Sia and Yuna, speaking of which...

yuna: I'm hungryyyyyyyyy

jungkook: what's that gotta do with me

yuna: bring me food I'm on campus

jungkook: can't

jungkook: I'm walking y/n home

jungkook: there's a cafe by the bus stop

yuna: boo u whore

yuna: y didn't u invite me

jungkook: idk

He waited outside the shop while you finished closing. It was dark and cold out so he made sure to double layer in case you forgot a sweater again. When you came out he watched you double check the door was closed before turning to him with a smile. "Put your hand out."

"Huh?" He asked lifting his hand, "Wh—". You placed a pink hand warmer in his tatted hand making him stutter. "So your hands don't get cold obviously," you said taking yours out of your pocket.

"Well aren't you the sweetest?" He chuckled as he examined it better. It was actually white with a soft pink pattern. He looked at yours and yours was the same but opposite.

"Since you let me borrow your hoodie," you said making him chuckle. "Borrow? I haven't gotten it back, I think you stole it."

"Technically not steal, you knew I had it," you played along knowing he wasn't serious about it.

After some time of walking in comfortable silence it had to be interrupted by his phone. He couldn't hold in the deep sigh as he took his phone out reading his screen.

You didn't mean to snoop but when you turned to look at him you got a good read at whoever was calling him. It was a guy with 'hyung' added to the name. You watched him put his phone away holding his hand warmer a little tighter. It wasn't even a minute later that it was ringing again. Once again he hung up the call and once again it was ringing.

"Sorry, it's uh, it's my older brother," he huffed in annoyance as he tries locking his phone only to receive yet another call.

"Maybe you should answer it," you shrugged walking ahead a little so he could have some more privacy. With a sigh he clicked answer, "Hello?"

"Finally you're done ignoring me," his older brother JungHyun said clearly annoyed, "Dad is asking if you'll be attending for dinner tomorrow. Park Jisoo will be present."

Jungkook couldn't resist the roll of his eyes at the mention of the woman. Jisoo was someone his parents deeply wished he'd date. Her father is a CEO of an entertainment business that works closely to his family's tech business. Since they were kids they've been around each other in hopes that some day they'd marry and expand both business. Clearly that isn't happening if Jungkook has anything to do with it.

He looked over to you who was walking a couple feet in front of him and suddenly he wanted to get off the phone so he didn't have to hear about Jisoo. "Why? Are we having dinner with her?" he cleared his throat awkwardly looking back to you, "Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow."

With that he ended the call before his brother could say anything else releasing a deep sigh. You looked over to him with curiosity, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he smiled already catching sight of the bus stop across the street. He looked toward you, eyes landing on your red puffy nose from the cold, "You know I bundled up in case you needed an extra layer."

"Hm?" You stared at him as he held out his sleeve. "I even put extra perfume on for you. See?"

You tried ignoring the sudden race of your heart beat as he pressed the sleeve into your nose trapping warmth so the redness could go down. He was treating you how he treats Sia and Yuna. That means he sees you as a close friend, right? You moved his arm away holding him by the sleeve, "Smells expensive."

He smiled as he held you back from crossing the street unaware of the car coming by, "What would you do without me?"

Once you two were on the bus he sat down next to you keeping you against the window, "So what did your brother want?" You asked turning to look at him better. From behind you a couple girls were being a little too loud with their comments about Jungkook's looks and that made you smile trying to hold back a laugh.

"Oh, he wanted to know if I'd be attending family dinner this Friday," His teeth played with his lip ring as he looked you over.

Your brows furrowed, "He was blowing up your phone for that?"

"I guess, knowing my father he probably told my brother to make sure I go," Jungkook said honestly. You were quiet for a moment leading him to believe he might be over sharing. He knew there was nothing you could really respond with and that made him nervous. He doesn't share a lot about himself much less his family and he probably threw you off. You smiled, "If you eat something really good you better get me something from there."

He laughed a little catching the light hearted tone, "I'll smuggle something in my pocket."

"Ew no, then my food's gonna taste like expensive perfume," you said making him push you playfully toward the window.

       Jungkook didn't even try and act interested in anything that happened over dinner the following Friday. With his phone under the table he was too busy reading messages in the group chat along with having an entirely separate conversation with you.

"Jungkook, Jisoo was saying something, I'm not sure if you heard," his mother had said. They were having dinner in a private room on the top floor of a hotel. It was a large circular table with his parents, his older brother and his fiancé, him, and for some reason Jisoo and her mother.

He looked up clearly bored with the dinner, "Mind repeating that?"

It's not that he completely hated Jisoo it's just that he knew she was in genuine. He's known her for a long time and she's not the saint she acts like in front of his parents. She wants to be in their good graces and Jungkook didn't like that. He didn't like being forced to spend time with someone he doesn't care for. She's a snob and he's seen the way she treats certain people in her life. She's beautiful, sure but he doesn't like her personality.

"Who has you so focused on your phone?" His father asked in clear annoyance that Jungkook mirrored. Well, currently he was talking to only you. "Y/n."

"Who?" JungHyun asked. Jungkook shrugged, "A friend."

"Well if she's anything like the other two always following you around, then I'm sure you can find better company," his mother said making Jungkook huff. "You don't even know her."

Ignoring him, his mother turned to Jisoo and her mother, "I have no doubt in my mind his new friend is only after him for money. He loves to take on charity cases. I try and tell him time and time that he needs to be careful over who he keeps close."

Jungkook couldn't stop the grind of his teeth. His mother had a tendency to act like this, make up her own assumptions and completely disregard her children and their wants. He didn't mind being bashed on, but there was no way he'd allow his friends to be bashed on too. Suddenly, he pushed his chair out raising to his feet. Everyone turned to him, "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," Jungkook said firmly as he looked at his parents in particular. His hyung shook his head in disapproval, "Jungkoo—"

"I'm not going to sit here and listen to her make her own assumptions about Y/n," Jungkook said honestly, a little surprised by his own words, "She doesn't even know about any of this. Unlike some people, money isn't everything."

His father made a sound similar to a snicker, "Jungkook, sit down. You're being disrespectful and I won't allow it. We have invited Jisoo and her mother to dinner and I won't let you ruin it."

"Jungkook, aren't you hungry?" Jisoo asked suddenly, "I'm sure they're only looking out for your best interest. Why don't we finish up dinner."

He scoffed, "You think you know them better than I do? They don't care about my best interest, they care about theirs."

"I'm sorry mother but I'm not going to let you insult my friends and force me to hang out with people I don't care for," he was rude. He knows it, but something about his mother's comments about you drove him mad. To top it off, Jisoo has the nerve to butt in and agree with his mom. As if either one of them knew his friends or you. If they got to know you they'd know you're hard working. You're humble and admiring. He's the one who always feels self conscious because you were clearly more independent than he was. But his mom has the nerve to say you're only his friend because of his money. When you didn't even know he was a chaebol!

He didn't give them much time to respond when he was already out the door. He was surprised with himself. He hasn't felt this defensive of his friends since he was a kid but then you came along. He clearly cares about you. But why does it feel so different from how he feels about Sia and Yuna?

They're the ones who got him through his family problems but you're the one he's trying to be closer with to ease his anxiety. Wait, stop, you're friends. You've said it before, you don't have time for much else. He doesn't need to scare you off with how clingy and touchy he can be when he's into someone.

Pause. Is he into you? Is that what this is all about? Can everyone see it but him? Is that why everyone was extra hostile tonight? He can't remember the last time he liked someone. He tries to steer clear of relationships because of his family and if he ever has flings they're lowkey. The second his mother started bashing on his friends, you in particular, he couldn't take it anymore. Usually, he's able to sit there and ignore them but this was different. They didn't even know you. How could he not get upset and defensive? Would Yuna and Sia be mad if he was into you? Oh God, he's crazy into you.

On Monday you got to campus later than usual, you were running late and already having a hectic morning. When you got to class, the lecture hall was practically filled aside from one spot near your friends and it had Jungkook's backpack on it.

"We saved you a seat," Sia exclaimed once you made it through the filled row. You smiled at her looking down to Jungkook as he slid his backpack off it pulling it down for you to sit.

"Hey," he said softly. His elbows had been pressed against the table with his hands in fists over his mouth almost shyly as he looked at you with sparkly eyes. You smiled, "Hey."

On his notebook was the purple mechanical pencil that matched your own. You pointed it out, "I like your pencil."

"I like you—r, yours too," he stuttered out immediately dropping his head in embarrassment. Snap out of it, Jungkook, you're friends. Why is it that all of a sudden he's acknowledged his feelings for you? Now he's nervous around you for no reason. Sia looked over at you, "Do you work today?"

"No, I switched shifts for a coworker. I work tomorrow," you told her already taking your things out, "Why?"

"I was gonna come visit you after I got off," she said with a sigh, "I was really craving some scones. Do you still wanna go?"

"It's awkward going to work when I'm not scheduled," you said with a little laugh, "And some of my friends are coming down for dinner."

Yuna hit Sia's arm playfully, "I said I'd go with you. Jungkook? Are you craving any of that carrot cake?"

"Not today," Jungkook nipping at his bottom lip nervously. Your friends were coming down to visit and he wondered if that meant that guy, Taehyung.

The topic was dropped and you tried focusing on the class and not Jungkook. You didn't want to stare at him like a creep but you noticed something was off about him. After class when the other two were too distracted to notice, Jungkook pulled you to the side. His hand was on your wrist keeping you in front of him and it wasn't until you looked down at the hold that he let go shyly.

"Should I pick you up from work tomorrow? Do you close?" He asked. You gave him a warm smile, "I do close but you don't have to pick me up. It's probably a hassle for you."

"I don't mind."

You nodded, "Alright, I'll bring your hoodie to you."

"You don't have t—bye!" He rushed when you started heading out the class waving goodbye to him and the others. With a deep, dejected sigh he turned back to the other two, surprised when he caught them staring at him clearly amused. Yuna spoke first, "Well, aren't you desperate?"

"He can't hide his feelings even if he wanted to," Sia laughed as they began walking out. Fuck, he knew they'd catch on fast.

In the evening when you went out for dinner with your friends you kept thinking about Jungkook. Why was he so cute today? You've never seen him act shy or nervous and yet today he was. You're not sure why but it was surprisingly cute. Seeing a guy who looked as intimidating as him act shy.

"Look at Y/n, she's got new friends and doesn't care about us anymore," your friend Yoongi joked after dinner. You were all sitting at the table still, trying to reel back down from how full you all felt.

"Honestly," Taehyung agreed looking over to you, "What are you thinking about?"

"My midterm project," you lied even though you did actually have to decide what it was going to be. You already bought a canvas and the right brushes but you're still iffy on the idea.

jungkook: want to watch a movie on friday after ur off

jungkook: or will u be too busy

you: what kind of movie

jungkook: what do u like

you: horror

jungkook: horror it is :)

jungkook: I'll buy the tix

you: are sia and yuna coming?

jungkook: they can if u want

you: it's ok

you: sometimes I like it when it's just kenskakamkas

"Hey!" You reached for your phone as Jin snatched it from you. Jin pressed his palm into your face to keep you away, "Y/n's too busy planning a date."

Your face reddened, "It's not a date. We're just friends."

Jin rolled his eyes, "Oh really?" He handed the phone back and you read the final text.

jungkook: ?

jungkook: it's a date then

"There," Jungkook said with a sigh as he showed his phone to the girls. Sia cheered, "Atta boy, Kook. I knew something was up with you the second you met Y/n."

"Same, he's like a puppy now just trailing after her. Are you forgetting us?"

On Friday, Jungkook was in front of your work standing next to a Mercedes Benz that made your brows furrow, "This is your car?"

"Uh yeah," Jungkook cleared his throat nervously once you were in, "I don't really use it since I live close to campus and parking is a pain."

"Expensive perfume. Expensive clothes. Expensive car. Are you secretly a chaebol?" You asked jokingly but his silence made the smile wipe off your face. But he had tattoos and piercings and he seemed so care free. Well, except the time he talked about his family. Why didn't you connect the dots? He looked slightly uncomfortable now as if you said something he didn't like so you tried to change the subject.

"So what movie are we watching?" You asked buckling yourself in, "I'll buy snacks since you got the tickets."

He shook his head releasing a breath he didn't know he had been holding, "Can't I treat you to this? You never answered when I said it was a date. Did you think I was kidding?"

"Wow Kook, I didn't realize you'd be so forward," you teased but he seemed not to be as playful tonight, more nervous than everything else.

"Uh, is that okay? That it's a date or... you know. I was just thinks because I, uh, I mean I like talking to you and-"

"Why wouldn't it be okay?" You asked cutting his rambling off. He looked over to you as he drove which only made you smile. When you got to the concessions you still offered to pay but he didn't let you. He ordered one of everything before the two of you went to the right theatre.

"If you're scared don't worry, I'll protect you," he said playfully now as he led you to your seats. You rolled your eyes, "I think you'll be more scared than me."

"Will you hold me if I'm scared?" He smirked, his mood improving from earlier, nerves going back down so he didn't feel as anxious. You nodded going along with the light flirting, "Are you always this cheesy?"

"Not usually, is it bad?" He asked digging into the popcorn before lifting it to you so you could eat from his hand making you laugh a little. You leaned into him, "You're wearing the perfume again."

"Just for you," he said reaching into his pocket for a small roller of the same perfume holding his hand out until you handed him your hand. He twisted it open before rolling the scent onto your hand, "Now we'll both be wearing it."

"Wow, I've never worn YSL perfume," you said honestly in short whispers since the movie started. He smiled a little, it was like this was your signature scent. Like for the both of you now. He'll make sure to get you some since you like it so much.

After the movie the two of you had a good discussion on the movie but nothing else. Clearly there were other stuff to talk about but you both were trying to keep it from getting awkward. You were alone in his car but you were still nervous to speak up, "I had fun, did you?”

"Of course," he smiled warmly as he reached out a hand to touch yours, "I know this might seem too forward but I’m really liking getting to know you more. At first I know I was pretty stand offish, it just takes me a while to open up to people. "

"Yeah, I figured but if it means anything, I’m glad I’m getting to know you more too," you answered letting your hands touch more by pressing yours into his. He smiled at that, "That's good."

"I know you’re busy a lot but what do you say about having more of these little dates?" Jungkook asked as he pulled up to your apartment. You didn’t anything as you began unbuckling your seat belt. You were thinking, obviously you had an attraction toward him but you had no clue he felt the same. On top of that, he’s suddenly done a big shift from how cold he used to be to how warm he’s been lately. After your silence became too much for him, he was calling out to you again, "Y/n?"

“Yes?” You responded back. He gave a soft smile, “If you want to just be friends… I won’t be upset. I mean I will but I also understand.”

“I don’t want to just be friends,” you said honestly. You liked hanging out with Jungkook too much. You didn’t notice it at first but maybe you just liked him too much. His lip was pulled between his teeth and you couldn't help but look down at them. He wanted to kiss you so damn bad. One hand was on the steering wheel and before he knew it the other was coming up to cup your jaw. Instantly you were leaning closer as he craned his neck toward you and then it happened.

Your lips met, barely brushing against each others and it had both of you inching back but his hand never left your face. Should the two of you just go for it? You've only known him for a few weeks but clearly there was something going on between you two? Even if he had been cold toward you that was only in the beginning. It happened again, this time more purposeful.

His lips pressed against yours parting them slightly and you were melting into the touch. Your tongue swiped against his lip ring making him release a deep breath through his nose and just as he was ready to pull you into him you jumped.

On your lap was your cellphone, it was vibrating with Taehyung's contact photo displayed on the screen. You pulled away looking down at the phone and Jungkook did the same, catching his breath for a moment.

"Hey," you said breathlessly, awkwardness beginning to set in between you two. Taehyung was already talking your ear off about something and you knew there was no reason to stay in Jungkook's car.

"I'll get going," you told him shyly and he nodded, "Text me when you're inside. Goodnight."

"Night."

Neither one of you were able to process the kiss until you were in the comfort of your own homes alone with your thoughts. What happened tonight?

It went on like this for weeks. It was hard to find time alone together with midterms, work, and school. Not to mention. You had to balance hanging out with your new friends, school work, and hanging out with your old friends. So far, you and Jungkook had only made out [a few times] but that’s it. Usually when you have free time Sia and Yuna want it all so then you end up hanging out as four.

You have yet to put an actual label on what you have with Jungkook but clearly there’s something there that everyone can see. For instance, he’s definitely gotten clingier to you. It’s comical actually, this big, buff, tatted guy making pouty faces at you when you don’t pay attention to him. Or forcing Yuna to scoot over so he could sit next to you. Always looking annoyed when some guy asks you a question. He was intimidating and yet so soft with you.

“You guys are so gross, you make me sick!” Sia gagged loudly. It was a Sunday and you were over at Jungkook’s having some movie marathon. Or at least trying to but it’s really just been all of you talking. Sia was currently grossed out by the fact that you and Jungkook started having a separate conversation that ended with a kiss on the tip of your throat.

“God I hate couples, makes me want to puke,” Yuna sighed making you look over to her with confusion. She only rolled her eyes playfully, “Don’t give me that look. You two are a couple and don’t deny it.”

Jungkook turned to look at you but neither one of you said anything for a moment. Is that really how you’ll announce it? He smiled leaning in to kiss your forehead, “We’re not denying it, right?”

“I’m leaving, I’m craving some chicken and you two are making me lose my appetite. God I hate being single,” Sia groaned as she got to her feet. Yuna was quick to follow in agreement, “For real. Y/n set us up with some of your hot friends.”

“Bye! Love you two! Use protecti—“ Yuna closed the door before Sia could say anything else and you couldn’t help but laugh. Jungkook laughed with you as he got to his feet, “They’re annoying.”

Honestly this is the first time in a while that you’ve had a full day to yourself with no schoolwork or regular work. Now that the girls were gone you were hoping to spend more time with Jungkook. Frankly you’ve been thinking about going further and the only reason you haven’t expressed it is because you know Jungkook. He’s probably waiting for you to make the move first because he feels like he rushes you, which he doesn’t.

“What?” He asked as he came back from carrying empty chip bags and soda cans to the trash. He looked down at you with a smile when he caught you staring. You lifted your arms up as if reaching for him and it made him laugh softly making his way over to you. You wrapped your arms around his neck as his knees pressed into the cushion between your legs, “Can I get a kiss?”

“As many as you want,” he leaned down enough to capture your lips with his, immediately melting into your arms as you made yourself sit up to give him more room. He was getting used to this now, kissing you on your lips, getting close to you but he obviously wanted more. He’s only keeping himself at bay because he knows how tired you are and he doesn’t want to push you.

Of course he didn’t imagine you to be in the same boat. It was only when your hands began to play with the waist band of his sweats to lift his shirt up a little did his body react. A small groan echoing down your throat that came from him due to your sudden forwardness. His lips didn’t leave yours as he started bunching his t-shirt up feeling your cold hands run along his abdomen muscles before having to sit back so he could pull over his head. The second it was off he was back on you, heads turning in opposite directions trying to deepen the kiss, his tongue tracing against yours.

His hands cupped your jaw, brows scrunched together in concentration just wanting to swallow you whole.

Somehow, he got you to pull your legs up on the couch, so he could kneel between them but it wasn’t comfortable and before you knew his hands were gripped your waist hard. He lifted you up, never giving you a chance to break away from the kiss, as he held you up before flipping you. You ended up straddling Jungkook’s hips with the way he twisted you around. With this new position you were able to press down on his crotch more, and that elicited a deep-throated moan from him. Smirking against the kiss, your hands rested on his chest, nails digging into the solid muscle found there. He was more undressed than you were and he needed to change that but your soft touch on his bare torso was heaven sent.

By now your breathing became labored and you could feel the growing wetness between your legs. It was automatic, your hips grinding down and having your denim-clothed crotch make contact with Jungkook’s growing hardness. The fabric of his sweats only served to turn him on, hands gripping your hips guiding your movement letting his hands trail even lower.

The only time they raised from your backside was to finally inch your shirt off wanting any layer between you two off. With deft fingers, he was quickly yanking the ends of your shirt up, sliding the material over your head while still trying to kiss you. You pulled away with a small laugh at his eagerness giving him the chance to take it off you. You were sitting straight as he looked at you with those sparkly eyes, hands on your waist looking you up and down sitting on his lap.

“You’re so pretty,” his hands flitted across your skin. You automatically tucked your stomach in, feeling self conscious suddenly. It wasn’t even dark out, the sun still shone through his windows and here you were shirtless with Jungkook eyeing you. He bit his lip, “All of you Y/n.”

His hands held firmly onto your hips, clasping tightly before slowly letting his palms slide across your lower back. His arms ended up wrapping around your waist and you found yourself face to face with him, your foreheads touching. Why did this feel so right?

“I like you so much, Y/N,” he pecked your lips lightly. You smiled, “I think you’re pretty too. And I like you so much too.”

His head lowered, lips connecting with your collarbone and peppering it with affectionate kisses. Your lips fell apart as your hands wrapped around the back of his neck keeping him put where he showered you in kisses.

His kisses led down to the valley between your covered breasts, hands coming around to press against the fabric of your bra. He looked up to you again as he move to kiss your lips as his hands began sneaking up your back and fingers quickly undoing the clasp of your bra.

“Are you always so soft?” he whispered as the straps fell off your shoulders. He slid them down your arms and you smiled when you flicked it off with your wrist, “Usually.” His eyebrows shot up at your response making him laugh a little before focusing his attention back to your exposed chest.

Without another word, Jungkook leaned closer and began to press open-mouth kisses to your chest. His hands snuck under your chest sliding his palms up until he was dipping a breast in each hand. You gasped lightly, playing with the ends of the hair on the back of his neck. He was being playful, squeezing lightly here and there, going lower with each peck until he got to the nipple. His thumb flicked at the hardening nipple, his tongue doing the same with the other one. You gasped, your spine arching and pressing your chest further closer to his touch. How was he so damn gentle and sweet with his movements? When you look at him you can’t help but feel intimidated. Yet he holds you with such tenderness and care and it felt soft the way you two talked throughout this so far.

You couldn’t help but to jerk your hips, seeking out the friction that would bring you release when his tongue swirled around your bud. At this, you pressed down onto Jungkook’s erection and he became painfully aware of it once again. His lips were swollen and wet when they pulled away from your breasts, your skin prickling when the air hit the moisture that he had left behind on your skin. He was surprised by the tug on his hair angling his neck back before you crashed your lips onto his going straight for a deepened kiss that had him moaning into your mouth. His hands were still playing with your tits, pinching and your erect nipples.

“Jungkook,” you said between kisses, hands moving to his shoulder for more support to guide your hips over him using his gasps for air as signs to see what he’d like.

“Alright,” he said not needing to hear more from you, already knowing what you wanted. He wanted to do more for your body but that would require him to be a little rougher and he didn’t want that for your first time. Not that you’d mind having him use you however he pleased but he was clearly being considerate of what you’d be open to try. He lifted you off his lap and you got the hint moving to your knees, providing enough space for him to pull the front of his sweats loose and quickly slide them down his legs, along with his underwear. His cock hit his stomach with a thud as he kicked away his clothes.

Before he could move you back down, you were leaning forward, lips attacking his neck just under his jaw bone creating a soft suction on his skin that had his breathing hitching at the action. His hands were hovering over your butt as you moved further down his lap to palm at his erection. You started slow, a soft glide down the length of his cock with a small twist of your wrist around his head, moving some of his foreskin back. His eyes shut tightly and the groan that you elicited from him made you smile against his neck. You left soft little kisses as you stroked him, spreading the precum that dribbled out of his slit down the head of his cock. Everytime you applied more pressure, more came out until you were able to cover his length with it.

“Fucking hell,” he licked his dried lips, head thrown back against the couch as his hips met your hands, quickening the pace, “You’re going to make me cum before I get to be inside you,” he stopped you, gripping your wrist tightly, “I need a condom.”

You climbed off him watching him leave to his room, surprisingly a nice image seeing his naked, toned and tatted body. When he came back his eyes caught sight of his phone’s screen lighting up and passing by he saw a text from the girls but he couldn’t think right now. All he could focus on was the way you shimmied your jeans off watching the snug fit over your hips. You kicked them off and before you do your underwear next, Jungkook was pushing you to the couch.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” he cursed feeling bad for the way he threw you back with more force than he would’ve liked. You brushed it off, “It’s okay. You can push me.”

It made him chuckle but if definitely was a nice thing to know. He pulled your panties down for you as you watched him tear into the condom. He picked you up again so that he could sit and place your over his lap. Jungkook cupped your jaw, his smile still on his lips as he kissed yours, sweetly and slowly. His tongue licked inside your mouth, exploring slowly as he pressed you closer to his chest feeling the dip on where your tits were and feeling your hardened nipples had him grunting in approval.

You felt his hard length press against your hip, you grasped his length and aligned it with your wet slit. His hand went over your hip watching in anticipation for when you’d let him slip inside you. His brows scrunched together as his lips parting making his face contort in pleasure as you slowly sank down taking his length inside you.

You knew this guy was attractive from his looks to his personality and yet right now that you took his cock inside you, he never looked hotter. He bit his bottom lip and held on tightly to your hips when you sank enough to finally sit on his lap and pushed your knees into the couch to raise your hips. He groaned into your neck, “Oh fuck, you’re so tight.”

Jungkook’s hands landed on your hips, grasping tightly as he began to quicken your movements, raising your hips a little more whenever you lifted them only to drop them back down hard. His head was on your shoulder staring down her back to the way his fingers dug into your was making you ride him deep and hard. You squeezed your walls around him, angling yourself to where you knew that the head of his cock would hit your sweet spot just right. You licked your lips leaning into him more rested your arms on his shoulders, barely able to form a full sentence as you moaned, “So big, fuck.”

One of his hands reached up, took a breast in hand and began to firmly fondle it, thumb and forefinger pulling at the nipple making your hips begin to circle in a steady rhythm trying to get him to fuck all your pleasure spots from your clit to your g-spot.

“Kiss me,” he moaned looking up at you as his thumb rubbed over your clit groaning in pleasure, “Fuck, I’m gon—ngh, gonna cum.”

“Cum for me, fucking cum for me,” he moved you faster, his hips meeting yours as they began to gyrate lifting off the couch.

“I’m gonna cum, Jungkook,” You moaned his name as you reached your peak, walls squeezing around his thick cock, hands flat on his chest to take some of the pressure off your shaking legs as you came. His hands were pinching your thighs with a loud cry in bliss, filling the condom with his load, kissing your shoulder softly. Still, he thrusted gently trying to ease himself out so he wouldn’t just drag himself out quickly and potentially cause you any pain.

You laughed softly, bringing your hips up until his cock had completely pulled out of you carefully. He made space for you, his back pressing to back cushion of the sofa as you both faced each other, laughing breathless alongside you.

He looked over to you, head rolling to the side to face you better. Jungkook release soft pants trying to catch his breath bringing his hand up to the back of your head. He brought you close to him pressing a kiss in your hair, “You okay?”

“Yes,” you said moving to stand up, “But I need to use the bathroom.”

He let you go taking your clothes with you and he sat back trying to clean himself up too. He cleaned up with everything in time to catch you coming back out fully dressed. You gave each other shy smiles as you turned to head back in the living room unsure of what to do with yourselves. When he came back to you, he’d just gotten onto the couch when his phone was lighting up.

The group chat appearing on his screen but he ignored it. He already knew it was Sia and Yuna probably to ask them to hang out again. It’s crazy how they were the ones to call them out as a couple when neither of you could bring yourselves to admit it.

Your eyes met and he broke out into a smile, “What are you thinking?”

“I’m hungry,” you said with a little laugh that had him laughing too. Your hand was on the cushion and he reached for it taking it in his own hand. He lifted a brow, “What do you want to eat?”

“Pizza,” that made him roll his eyes playfully speaking with a smile. “We had that yesterday but we can get it. Do you want to order or eat out?”

“Order,” you said with a shrug as his shoulder pressed against yours. He nodded taking his phone out ready to order the food when he finally got a good look at the texts.

sia: I forgot my wallet at ur place

sia: helllllloooooo

sia: let me up

sia: I know y’all are there

sia: ew wait

sia: u suck

He laughed as he read over her last text that she’d be back tomorrow. She must’ve realized what distract you two so much because she left him alone after that.

He had another text from his brother apologizing for not sticking up for him at dinner the other night.

Jungkook will admit he was still upset over that, mostly that they’d all judge you before even getting to know you. He liked you not whoever his parents wanted him to be with and nothing would make him change his mind.

Nothing makes him happier than the fact you transferred to his school earlier this semester.

::.

tag list: @poopiedookieballz [lol the name] @ughitsvicky @prettyvjrd-blog @screamertannie @kimyishin

like Can we talk about looks like they could kill you, is acc a tsundere cinnamon roll?

that would be Jungkook here

I decided to do something sweet bc lately my fics for Jungkook have been having a lot of angst

and omg I had time three different stories going on for this post and I just couldn’t focus until this week lol

[byjwn]

박성훈 envy of you

sunghoon x fem! reader .. fluff, popular boy and unknown girl au. minimal cursing. she envied the life that he lived and wanted everything that he had, without knowing that he felt the same way.

you hated park sunghoon. you hated almost everything about him. but you only hated him because of how much you admired him and the life lived. you watched him and his best friend, nishimura riki, laugh and tease each other as they sat at the front of the class. you always wondered what it was like to have a super close friend like that. the last friend you could recall was in kindergarten, but she moved away to the states not too long after you had befriended her. ever since then, you have been alone. nobody ever really noticed you. you were practically non-existent to everyone at school, or so you thought.

sunghoon on the other hand was the most known guy in school. everyone loved him and would throw themselves at him just to get a single “hello.” you’d be lying if you said you couldn’t understand why people liked him so much, but you did understand. just looking at him was an honor because of how beautiful he was. he was also one of the nicest guys you have ever come across. you haven’t spoken a single word to him and he hasn’t spoken one to you either, but overhearing all the conversations he has with other students, you can tell how genuine he was. park sunghoon was the closest to the definition of perfect you can get.

you averted your gaze from the duo to look at the blank piece of paper on your desk that was supposed to be filled with notes. you frowned, tapping your pen repeatedly on your desk. as you continued to stare at your paper, you had an odd feeling that someone was staring at you, so you looked up. your eyes examined every student in your class, but they were all too busy to pay attention to you in the slightest.

the school day had finally reached its end and you were making your way to the bus stop. you were typically the only one who rode the bus to school and back home since everyone else got a ride from their parents or friends. you finally decided to look up from your feet when you noticed a muscular body standing at the bus stop. the closer you walked, the more you recognized this figure. park sunghoon. ‘what is he doing here? he never takes the bus.’ you thought to yourself, reaching the bus stop but keeping a decent distance between you and him. you stared back at your feet to avoid him looking at you, not that he would even think to anyway.

“do you usually take the bus?” you heard his kind voice ask you. your breath hitched as you struggled to spit out words in response. you took a quick glance at him, and he gave you an inviting smile, before nodding yes. he shook his head in agreement, “that’s cool. this is my first time taking it actually.” you stayed silent, hoping that he wouldn’t make any more small talk so you could escape this confusing dream.

the bus finally showed up and you quickly made your way into the bus, sitting all the way in the back. little did you expect that park sunghoon would sit one seat away from you. he turned to look at you, again with that beautiful smile of his, “you’re y/n, right?” “how do you know my name?” you questioned him back. he let out a soft chuckle, “i know not many people talk to you or anything, but don’t think anyone doesn’t know you exist.”

"well i wouldn’t really expect someone as popular as you to know i exist," you responded with a frown, twiddling your thumbs in your lap. "it’s really not all that great being popular, you know. your friends aren’t really your friends. they just want that status too." you furrowed your eyebrows, "what do you mean?" "i mean, they just want to be popular and have this big group of friends. it almost makes them feel cool. in all honesty, i’d rather be like you. quiet and reserved with nobody to bug me." you were shocked, to say the least. park sunghoon said he wanted to be like you rather than experience the life he has right now. "you really don’t, sunghoon. i want friends like you do. nobody even pays attention to me but everyone loves you."

“you don’t.”

you haven’t spoken to sunghoon since that day you rode the bus together. you’ve seen him multiple times in school, but he hasn’t even attempted to spare a single glance at you. you couldn’t help but feel sad at how she could say such a thing and then never even look at you again.

you sat at an empty lunch table, picking at your food with your fork but not having a big enough appetite to eat it. all you could think about was park sunghoon and that conversation you two shared. “is this seat taken?”, you heard the familiar voice say from above you before being accompanied by another body sitting next to you. speak of the devil, park sunghoon. “why are you sitting here?” you asked him, going back to picking at your food. “well it doesn’t look like anyone else was sitting here, so why not?” he said before digging into his average lunch meal. you looked behind you to spot sunghoon’s usual lunch table where he eats and hangs out with his other friends. all their eyes were on you with a glaring look.

“your friends don’t look too happy that you’re sitting with me.” “fuck them. i want to feel normal for once” he said with his mouthful of rice before chugging down half the bottle of his water. you chuckled at the cute bunny looking boy and began chowing down on your own food.

ever since then, you and sunghoon became closer and closer every day. you could tell that you were starting to fall for him and you liked to think that he felt the same way. “what are you gonna do now? since your friends don’t like you anymore.” sunghoon raised his eyebrows at your sudden question, “hang with you, of course. i prefer it this way anyway.” sunghoon smirked as he saw the blush start to creep on your cheeks as you tried to hide your smile. he began to speak again, “i think this is what i needed. i needed you. i feel so more alive when i’m with you and i never want that to change”

you looked up at sunghoon before nodding your head, agreeing that you felt the exact same way. sunghoon grabbed the side of your face and caressed your cheek as he observed how beautiful you were, “and what if i told you i wanted to be something more?”

authors note ; i cant really tell if i like this or not lol but let me know what you guys think. i’m gonna try and be more active just because i really want to write more as it’s a fun hobby of mine. requests are open btw so feel free to send some or even just can’t with me through my ask box !

[condorclaw]

Tommy frowned, staring.

Michael stared back.

Tubbo and Ranboo could only watch this scene unfold, somewhat expecting that this would happen between their friend and their son. What they didn't expect was how quiet Tommy was.

It was silent in the room for a minute or two more, before Tommy reached out a hand and softly booped the top of Michael's nose. The zombie piglin let out a honk of approval, making Tommy's eyebrows raise in amusement. With the piglin happy, the boy turned to face Michael's parents.

"I don't think this is a dog, fellas."

Tubbo and Ranboo both released large sighs of relief that they didn't even know they were holding in, Tommy slightly tilting his head in confusion.

"Well, we said he wasn't a dog, Tommy. We said he was our son."

"Some people call their dogs their kids, so I could only guess."

As the best friends talked, Ranboo gazed over at Michael with affection, feeling a grin spread across his face. What Ranboo didn't expect, however, was how closely Michael seemed to be watching Tommy.

Surprising Ranboo again, the piglin stood up on wobbly legs, trotting over to where Tommy was leaning on a piece of furniture. Snorting, he clutched on to one of Tommy's legs, leading Tommy to jolt from the sudden contact a little, before instinctively trying to lean away from Michael. Recognizing that Tommy was having a bit of a rough time at the moment, Tubbo leaned down and carefully removed Michael's arms from Tommy's leg, mumbling soft words of comfort and encouragement to both Tommy and Michael.

After Michael was removed, Tommy had to take a moment to catch his breath and clear his thoughts, his eyes shutting for a moment as he muttered unintelligible words to himself. Tubbo and Ranboo waited for him to recover, Michael watching with curiosity.

"A'ight, I'm okay now," Tommy inhaled deeply, letting out an equally deep exhale before opening his eyes again.

"I'm really sorry about that-" Ranboo began to apologize before getting cut off by Tommy.

"Nah, don't apologize, big man. Michael's a fetus, he doesn't know about complicated adult things like trauma."

Tubbo let out a snort of laughter, which Michael tried to copy the sound of.

"He's not normally physically affectionate like this on first meetings," Ranboo spoke, though mostly to himself more than anyone else.

Michael let out a squeal of frustration, alerting the trio to the piglin trying to wiggle out of Tubbo's arms. Tubbo and Ranboo's ears stood up in surprise at the sudden noise, the two looking down at their son worriedly. Tommy had looked startled when Michael began his outburst, but now looked much calmer as he leaned down a little to come face-to-face with Michael.

Tubbo and Ranboo's surprise grew even bigger as Tommy began to make squealing and oinking noises himself, causing Michael's fit to stop. The piglin's eyes were wide with excitement as Tommy spoke, his stubby arms starting to wave in excitement as he continued his excited honking, which Tommy responded to as well.

"What the fuck," Tubbo whispered in shock, his eyes wide, and Ranboo had to agree with him there.

Tommy proceeded to sit down on the floor, glancing up at Tubbo with a lopsided smile. "You can put 'em down, Big T. It's alright."

Following Tommy's instructions, Tubbo set his son down, who immediately sprinted towards the blonde at high speeds. He halted in his tracks when Tommy barked out another noise, one that Ranboo and Tubbo didn't understand, that brought Michael to a slower pace. It sounded somewhat familiar to Ranboo, but he didn't know why.

Michael ended up standing in front of a seated Tommy, the taller boy laughing as he reached out his hand slowly. The piglin stepped forward slowly, moving to grip one of Tommy's fingers gently, which allowed Tommy to carefully wrap his hands around Michael, lifting him up to eye level. Tommy let out a small noise again, causing Michael to oink in delight.

Smirking with satisfaction, Tommy looked back over at the stunned parents, sticking out his tongue a little. "Surprise, motherfuckers."

"HOW DID-" Tubbo began to belt out, quickly stopped by Ranboo by the taller boy pressing down on Tubbo's head gently. With this sign from Ranboo, Tubbo cleared his throat, continuing to speak.

"Tommy, and I mean this in the nicest way possible: how the fuck did you do that?"

"Wot? You jealous that I can speak piglin?"

Ranboo was learning so much today that he didn't expect in any way whatsoever.

"One," the enderman spoke, trying to keep his voice at a calm level while his husband stood slack-jawed. "Yes, I am. Two: how do you know piglin?"

The shit-eating grin on Tommy's face grew wider upon seeing how he stunned his friends, causing him to look back at Michael and speak in piglin once more, making the kid chirp out happily.

"Tomathy Danger Careful Kraken Innit Minecraft, you tell me what you just said to him right now," Tubbo folded his arms, trying to hide the previous shock on his face with little-to-no success. Ranboo, meanwhile, now had to process the fact that he had never known Tommy's full name.

"I just told him that I was cooler than the both of you," Tommy barked out a laugh, Michael giggling along with him as Tommy set him back down on the ground.

"Anyway," the blonde continued, watching as Michael began to walk in circles around him. "I learned piglin from Techno. He suggested we use it for commands in battle so nobody else would understand what we were saying."

It suddenly made sense what Tommy had said to Michael that sounded familiar. Ranboo had heard Technoblade use that exact sound when they were exploring in the nether, and had come face-to-face with a piglin squadron. "Wait, were you telling Michael to approach safely?"

"Hell yeah, Ranboob" Tommy gave a thumbs-up, Michael trying to copy the gesture with his own hooves. "When I was still living with him as well, I'd go to the Nether when we had nothing else to do. Yeah, the Nether is a horrible shitty place and I want nothing to do with it, but it was the only way I could make friends while I was still in exile."

"WAIT," Tubbo's eyes widened even more, his face looking like it might split open from surprise. "You spoke with piglins in the Nether!?"

Tommy's reply was shooting finger-guns towards his best friend with a grin, with Michael trying to copy them once more.

"As fascinating as this conversation is, and trust me, I'm absolutely going to ask you to death about this," Ranboo pointed at Tommy in a jokingly accusatory manner. "Tubbo, I think we just lost our son."

Tubbo looked towards Michael, the little one trying intensely to copy Tommy's movements. "God damn it Tommy, you stole our son."

"Hey, I'm not stealing him," Tommy protested with laughter, reaching over to gently pet Michael's head, Ranboo noticing how his touch lingered on the thin layer of hair, stroking it softly. Ranboo noted to himself that piglin hair seemed like a comfort texture to Tommy. He’d tell Tubbo about it later, but for now he’d play along with the bit of his friend stealing his son. “Oh really? Then why’s our son copying you?”

“Because I’m the coolest uncle.”

Silence stretched throughout the room once more, with both Tubbo and Ranboo’s eyes wide. The small on Tommy’s face slowly changed into a worried one, and he looked away from the couple and at the ground. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know if-”

“Watch how hard I can cry,” Tubbo mumbled, his eyes looking bright with joy before he went to Tommy’s side, kneeling down to give him a genuine smile. “Tommy, dude, I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Even better than Ranboo proposing to me.”

“Um, rude,” Ranboo giggled, kneeling at Tommy’s other side and allowing Michael to climb up on his lap. “But yeah, I know what Tubbo’s getting at. We weren’t sure if you would even want to be Michael’s uncle-”

“Wot?” Tommy sounded genuinely surprised at that, his own eyes wide. “Why wouldn’t I want to be? He’s my best friend-brother’s son!”

“I mean, yeah, but after what happened with Techno, we weren’t sure if piglins would...”

Tommy fell quiet, his eyes shifting to gaze at the ground as uncertainty crossed his face. After a stretch of silence, only filled with Michael’s occasional chirring, Tommy gazed back at the two parents. “As complicated as my relationship with Techno might be, that shouldn’t impact this little guy,” Tommy bore his fangs in a grin, making Michael clap with his little hands. “Besides, I can understand him while you two can’t. Who else is gonna teach you two piglin without fuss?”

“Are you holding our child’s language for ransom?” Tubbo was about to playfully punch Tommy in the arm, but appeared to suddenly remember the situation and placed his hand back down.

“Noooo, but now you two need me.”

Ranboo rolled his eyes, making Tommy pretend-pout at him. Tommy folded his arms, faking disappointment. “You’re so mean to me, Ranboo. I take back my marriage blessing.”

“My husband! No!”

“We can elope, Ranboo. Tommy can’t stop us.”

“I’m holding your whole son for ransom then.”

“Actually, I don’t need my husband anymore.”

“Tubbo! How could you do this to me?

And Michael squealed with delight as the three continued on into the night.

[lovelybarnes]

stood up- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, anderson x reader (?) warnings: angst, getting stood up, language, unrequited feelings about: prompts (DA29) “i got stood up.” + (DF30) “i think you’re my soulmate.” +(DF41) “are you going to cry? please don’t cry. a/n: i love to hurt but dw it’s a happy ending, i actually like this fjsk, a the time i finished this, i just posted another imagine, so i can’t wait for you guys to read this one in a couple days

every passing second makes you hyperaware of all the sympathetic stares that are currently directed at you. the feeling of pity is enveloping you whole, wrapping you in a thin layer of shame that you think must be related to the careful makeup you caked on your face for this date. your recently manicured nails scratch at the tablecloth, trying to avoid your new expensive dress, deep midnight color clinging to your nervous self. teeth stress your dark wine bottom lip, anxious eyes darting across the restaurant.

with each face that enters the place, none of them being his, the presumption that he isn’t coming solidifies. with it, comes the embarrassment. you can feel the warnings of tears, already threatening to ruin the mascara you had applied so carefully, not bothering to choose the waterproof one because why would you be crying on your date?

you suppose it’s your own fault- how dare you attempt to get over bucky? how dare you trust the words of a shield agent? you pick at your nails, gathering up the courage to stand up and leave. your waitress, however, beats you to it, a faux apologetic look on her face. “oh, so you’ve been here for, like, half an hour and it seems no one is coming, and we kind of need the table, so…”

you hold back an uncomfortable cringe, nodding stiffly as you stand. “right. i’m sorry. i don’t need to… pay for the water, right?” you ask dumbly, ducking your head when she shakes her head condescendingly.

pushing the door open, you step into the brisk air of the night, clouded over with an uneasy disappointment that you’re sure is because of you. you stand for a second to look at the stars, realizing how pretty of a night this would be if you weren’t so damn frustrated. the upset hasn’t passed yet, although the beginnings of anger are peeking up in your stomach.

while you stare up at the moon, the universe decides your getting stood up wasn’t enough, choosing to gift you with cold droplets of water that make your mascara run. it’s unbelievable, you nearly scoff tearily.

you walk to your car then, the moonlight that should have been romantic when you walked out of the restaurant now only making you feel lonely. you don’t let the tears come yet, having enough pride to not let the smitten couples appreciating the romance of the rain see you cry, deciding to put that off until you’re in the quietness of your room.

you drive in the sound of the pattering rain, concentrated on keeping your breathing even so as to push back the tears, not wanting to have an accident on the way back home because your vision was clouded over with sadness.

-

the relief you feel when you arrive at the compound is immeasurable; the knowledge that all you have to do is walk quietly to your room, and you can release the pent up emotions that eat you whole is unbelievably satisfying. the horrible itching feeling that comes with the tears arrives again when you notice your reflection in the impressively clean windows of the stark compound. through the stains of your ruined makeup, you can see the remnants of how dolled up you were, how much time was spent with the intricate details that made you smile when you looked at yourself in the mirror.

you swallow back the painful lump in your throat, opening the doors and sniffling at the dimly-lit room. your heels click tiredly on the floor, precious bracelet lightly jangling when you move. you can’t find it in yourself to care when you realize you’re dragging water inside, resigning to letting stark lecture you in the morning.

as you stand in the elevator, waiting for it to reach your floor, the emotions you’ve pushed so far down decide to spring back up in the form of an overwhelming dejected exhaustion that makes you physically slump. you lean against the cool of the metal railing, shutting your eyes hard to avoid looking at yourself. you only pry your eyes open when you hear the soft ding of the elevator, surprised and once again embarrassed to see bucky standing between the open doors.

“y/n?” he asks quietly. his demeanor immediately changes when he takes you in, body softer in the way it always is when you’re with him. his reaction makes you fall deeper, which reminds you exactly why you were going on your failed date. you straighten, clearing your throat, “um- i have to get to my room.”

your voice is thin, heightening his worries and stopping you with a gentle hand to your arm before you step off the elevator, “what’s wrong? what happened? are you okay?” he asks, and you nod blindly at all of his questions, realizing that the longer you stay with him- with his warm hand that you can’t help but lean into pressed against your cold arm- the more you really want to cry and scream because it’s not fair that he’s been given to you, yet you can’t have him, even if he has you.

“i’m fine,” you lie obviously, forcing your eyes again from his. “y/n, what happened? you’re clearly not fine,” bucky pushes, the hand on your arm beginning to rub stressed circles into your skin. you give up then, looking back at him. “i got stood up,” you say finally, words cracked. you shake your head, “and i just spent so much time on everything and-”

“that’s stupid. who would stand you up?” bucky interrupts, eyes genuinely confused while you scoff. “apparently anderson from security,” you respond bitterly, looking away. “he’s stupid, y/n. he has to be to not go to a date with you.”

you exhale frustratedly, “maybe not. maybe there’s something wrong with me and i’m the stupid one for even thinking someone would want to go out with me,” you countered. “hey, no, you are- you are amazing, y/n. amazing and stunning and intelligent and he missed his chance to be the luckiest guy in the world,” he insisted, gently pulling your attention back to him with a gentle hand on your cheek. you give him a watery laugh through the loud, unfair questions in your head: why don’t you love me like i love you, then?

you don’t realize the tears that run down the streaks of already ruined mascara until bucky points them out, wiping them away with his fingers, “no, no, don’t cry, please don’t cry,” he begs. you can’t help it, though, biting your lip to hold back your unrequited confessions of love.

“nobody wants me. i don’t even think i want me anymore,” you weep, oblivious to the breaking of bucky’s heart when he hears your words, pulling you flush against his chest. “don’t say that, doll. that’s not true-”

“it is. what other reasons can you think of that explain why i’m the only one that’s shown up to the rare dates i’ve been on? why have i had to go on those stupid dates just to forget how pathetic i am that i can’t get over you?”

you’re too deep in the ocean of your thoughts to realize what you’ve said, too little light available in the dark to let you realize the hints you have and will undoubtedly let out if you continue blubbering into bucky’s shoulder like the mess you are. your feelings are scattered, words so disorganized that any way you piece them together will be a mistake. “why else does the one person who i actually want to love me back not want me?”

bucky can make sense of the words you’re saying, the heavy weight they carry when he realizes exactly what they mean, and what you imply. he’s frozen, heart simultaneously fluttering at the mere thought of his feelings being returned and breaking at the cries you’re letting out because of him.

he’s refused to ever be the source of your pain, restricting his own poems of confessions because he didn’t want to hurt you, never wanting to be the reason you cried. he supposes now it was the wrong choice, one he needs to fix.

the bead of insecurity buried stubbornly in his mind shrieks, however, because he’s as clueless as you are and can’t possibly imagine someone like you- so kind and pure and good- loving him back. so he needs to make sure, needs to hear you say it in your voice.

“what?” you let out a watery scoff, full of embarrassment rather than annoyance at him, “don’t make me say it, bucky, please-”

“please say it- i- i need you to say it.”

a beat of silence passes before you sniffle, pulling away from the man you’ve called your best friend and wanted nothing but to be able to call him more. “i love you, bucky. in a way that makes me pretty sure you’re my soulmate because i don’t even believe in that but you make me feel like i should.”

bucky’s storm clouds lighten, doubts dissolving when he listens to what you said, tasting your words and examining each one just to remember it. he pulls your lips to his when they’ve barely processed. “you should,” he says when he pulls away for a second, only to make you lose your breath again when he aches for you immediately, kissing you again, “believe in soulmates.”

“why is that?” you ask breathlessly, letting him pull you back in because you both have been waiting- dreaming about this for so damn long, and he isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to keep away from you now that he has you. he presses a sloppy kiss to your lips, so perfectly imperfect when your teeth clash and you both laugh gently, noses nudging each other when he leans his forehead on yours, “because we’re meant to be, y/n. in that way that soulmates are.”