#but my brain will just bombard me with the image of someone falling

[starkbarnes-lovechild]

Might post this on AO3 at some point. Maybe. I feel like I need to. Lol.

Anyway, enjoy another Firstprince fic. :*

<3

Let yourself smile more. When you do, the world becomes brighter. At least mine does.

Henry bites his lower lip, trying to contain his smile despite what the note said. He can feel his cheeks warming up as he rereads the words.

He's been receiving these random notes for the past three months and the giddy feeling in his belly hasn't disappeared. Pez has been teasing him that this secret admirer may help him get over his little crush on Alex. It seemed unlikely at first but the more he receives these notes, the more hopeful he gets.

"Hey, Mr. Darcy!" Speak of the devil, Henry rolls his eyes, shoving the note into his pocket in the process. When he turns, he's bombarded with Alex's smile. His heart stutters at the sight, then mentally curses the stupid organ. How the fuck does the other teen still have this effect on him? "We're still on for Friday, right?"

"Yes, Alex. Our standing study session will still happen." He replies drily, his lips lifting on one side. In his periphery, he sees some of Alex's usual entourage frown in confusion.

"Cool. See you, Friday, Wilde." The asshole winks as he walks backward, likely on his way to lacrosse practice. Henry shakes his head in exasperation, watching as Alex and his clique turn the corner.

He pulls out the note from his pocket, smoothing out the paper. As he rereads the words, he can't help but smile at the short note.

<3

Sometimes I dream about kissing that mole on your upper lip. Is that creepy? Whatever. I love looking at those beauty marks. I want to trace them with my mouth and find out how you would react to my kisses.

Henry lays his palm on his chest, right over his widely beating heart. He's not sure if his secret admirer meant it to sound as sensual as it did but Henry's brain blue-screened. He has a lot of moles scattered all over his body and the idea of this person's mouth exploring his body is... doing things to his randy teenage brain.

He hears someone laugh and his eyes immediately find Alex, head thrown back with pure joy. The image of a faceless boy in his head turns into Alex's mischievous smirk as he explores Henry's body.

He doesn't know how he's still torn between painfully straight Alex and the secret admirer who clearly wants him.

<3

The way you tilt your chin up when you're trying to look tough makes me feel brave, too. I don't think you know just how inspiring you can be, sweetheart.

Henry can feel a sting in his eyes and he's not even sure why. His secret admirer didn't really say something that profound but at the same time, he did. Like any teen, Henry has a habit of comparing himself to his peers. Pez, his own best mate, has a way of lifting people up when they're down. Bea, when she was still attending the high school, formed a support group for teens turning to substance to cope. Alex got the lacrosse team to help prevent bullying by standing up for other people.

Henry does what he can, but he feels like he'll never leave a positive impact in the world. Knowing at least one person finds him inspiring is quite humbling.

<3

I love watching your face when you read Austen. You have the most beautiful expressions when you read about two people falling in love. Sometimes I wonder what your face will look like when you realize just how in love I am with you. PS. Meet me at the music room after class?

Henry swallows thickly, hands shaking as he rereads the note a few more times. The postscript is still the same. His secret admirer wants to meet him and Henry's not sure what he should do.

Part of him wants to meet this secret admirer after months of receiving these sweet notes. But another part of him is scared. What if he's wrong and the secret admirer is actually a girl? He knows most of the school is aware he's gay but some think they can turn him straight, while others are just painfully unaware.

But what if it's a boy and not he imagined him? What if he's disappointed his secret admirer isn't how he pictured? Does that make him shallow? He hates to admit it but even without trying, he's imagining Alex leaving him these little notes. It's a daft fantasy but he can't really help who he falls for.

The day crawls and Henry's patience is running thin. There's at least fifteen more minutes until the school day is over. It's the longest fifteen minutes of his life.

When the bell finally rings, Henry rushes out of his seat he's practically leaving dust in his wake. He knows the music room will be empty today. Clearly, his admirer knows it, too.

When he gets to the music room, the door is closed but he can hear someone strumming the guitar. He wonders if it's his secret admirer or someone else.

He takes a deep, fortifying breath and slowly releases it. When he enters, he doesn't immediately see who's occupying the room. The click of the door shutting behind him sounds loud in the sudden silence.

Henry doesn't move, just leans down against the closed door in case the other room occupant is not his secret admirer. He can hear the clock ticking, counting along with it; eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. When he reaches thirteen, Alex's timid voice makes him flinch, "Hi."

"I'm supposed to meet someone here," Henry doesn't dare hope that Alex is the someone he's supposed to meet. It's simply not possible that the boy he's been halfway in love with may feel the same. But then Alex stands and makes his way to him, his brows raised in surprise. Henry can feel his heart pounding in his chest and he wonders if Alex can hear his heartbeat.

"Yeah," the other boy enunciates slowly, "me. You were meeting me."

"But..." Henry tries to grasp at words that would make a coherent sentence. "You're straight?"

"Henry," Alex says with exasperation. The smile on his face softens the blow, though. "I dated Liam for like, a month, maybe a bit longer." He's sure the younger boy is laughing at him.

"Oh." He certainly never knew that. "When?" His voice is hesitant, uncertain. He truly does not remember Alex and Liam ever dating. It had always been Liam and Spencer.

Alex's lips twitch, as if he's fighting a smile, "Fall of freshman year. We broke up because we both realized we wanted someone else."

Alex is now standing in front of him, just a foot or so of distance between them. If he raises his arm, he can take hold of the shorter man's waist. If wants, he can pull Alex into his arms and give in to the desire to kiss the other boy.

Then again, Alex is Alex and beats him to the punch.

Alex cups Henry's face, his touch is so gentle yet firm. He nuzzles the other boy's palm, swaying forward. It's hard not to get pulled in by Alex's gravity.

Henry sees the question in those brown orbs. He looks down at Alex's lips, then back to his eyes. A silent request.

When their lips finally meet, Henry finally understands what people mean when their world narrows down to a single person.

<3

Got my acceptance letter from NYU. We're moving to New York, baby! -XOXO Alex

[moonstruckdraws]

The Red Queen

An alternate version of Vera! @hellishgayliath daughter I've been drawing nonstop (this being no exception)

like always, this is a spiel so- yeah

Ever since looking back at my first sketch of her in this red dress a few days ago, my brain started to trail off to "what ifs" & one of these is what if Vera was bitter & frustrated to the extreme in contrast to her current self is improving from the event.

But the premise is that Vera would become a mob boss herself! While not as reknown as Big Mama, is still a bigger threat (compared to the smaller mobs like in that one episode in Hueso's restaurant)

I don't know how she'd be pushed over this edge to where she'd stop caring about others (being a therapist & all) & I won't even try lol. But in this version, it starts off with the break up (with my assumption of how she would handle it in my other post; compared to her actual reaction would be) & I'd imagine she'd just tear up the room before going to her own living quarters.

Being one of Big Mama's lovers, & a temporary model for the Grand Nexus's advertising, I'd imagine that their breakup would be talked about & Vera would probably start being bombarded at work; unable to take off from work. Maybe she'd start spiraling then? She'd fall off the face of the earth for a while before rumors of a borzoi mob boss rising up starts to become the talk of the city. Of course, I'm sure this would intrigue Big Mama or something, but Vera wouldn't announce her identity. & Idk, that's all I got lol

Aight lil details & facts this Vera would have

Vera's favorite color is ruby/scarlet, so I think her keeping this dress & making iconic look fits. It'd also tie into it being a constant reminder of when things took a turn for the worse & her trust in someone important to her was shattered. Also a funfact about her, by Helli, is that apparently she doesn't wear purple anymore; only wore the color when with Big Mama, aside for makeup. This version of her despises the color & refuses to have any hues of it near her as it reminders her of that Spider. It's why her make up is now red as well. It's also red because blood blends into it well :] (was gonna name her the Blood Queen, but that sounded a too much for Vera; also Red Queen to reference Helli calling Vera that in the first post I made of her)

I don't know how Vera feels about Big Mama fully (aside for wondering if Big Mama was pretending the whole time or not) in the sense of if she's over her. This version is probably less over her than the original, hating her guts but forever thinking of the past. Unlike the original, this version would probably carry any memories of those days with her (on good days) like the cloaking broach. She also has eye creases because tears & probably being more addicted to coffee.

Her being a therapist means she a smart cookie in psychology (i believe so), so she'd definitely use that to her advantage. Being able to see signs of lying, finding spies in her minions, etc.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, she burns things; burning things like her burning rage

I image this would be her first major appearance, setting a fire. Idk, I just wanted to draw it lol (lil fact that I drew most of this earlier today in my notebook because there was nothing to dooooo)

And yeah, that's it. Very out of character, but hey that's what alternate versions are right? :D Don't mind me, just my brain running on nothing but thoughts.

[bilboyagathechickenfootedhobbit]

I am 42 years old and it literally took until I turned 40 to really and truly detox and reprogram my brain from the anorexic brainwashing I was subjected to in the 90’s. I think it may be hard sometimes for younger feminists to understand why older women can be so powerful in some ways and then fall back to “oooh, don’t call me ma’am it makes me feel so OLD! I don’t look that old do I???” The 1990’s were……ugly. Granted, some of the things younger women have to deal with today make me see red and want to go on a killing spree, but every era has its own challenges and for us in the 90’s it was heroin chic and skewed views of age. We were constantly bombarded with images of soaking wet, skeletal models and told that was the pinnacle of beauty. Then we would consume media in which a woman only a few years older than us would be playing a MOTHER to a male actor five years her senior. My god, the way the media ripped apart Renee Zellwegger for being “fat” in Bridget Jones Diary probably caused more cases of eating disorders than any other movie that came out in the 90’s.

The 90’s were the beginning of people having next to no idea what a normal woman looks like. People gasp when I tell them my age and remark how I don’t LOOK 42! I do. I very much look my age and I fucking LOVE IT because god DAMN have I EARNED this face and body with four decades of living. But nobody knows anymore what natural 42 looks like because we’ve had women in their 30’s playing grandmothers and women in their 20’s being the love interest to men in their 70’s and nobody knows what any age looks like anymore and we all seem to assume that women immediately dry up and become bitter old hags the second they turn 30. I honestly think that’s why people are shocked by my appearance; they truly think that by now, I should be wrinkled with paper thin skin and liver spots. Which, if things go well, I will be one day. Fingers crossed.

The point being, when you are raised in an era of body positivity (however poorly executed and imperfect as it may be at times), you have a lot less to unlearn than someone who was raised being told “90 lbs is fucking fat and disgusting and you’re an embarrassment.” No, seriously, go watch some Americas Next Top Model or The Biggest Loser if you want to see what my generation had to work to undo. It’s a LOT. And even the strongest, most empowered women I know will default to self-deprecation or insecurity because it’s what we’ve known for LITERALLY FOUR DECADES.

And I hate it. I hate it so much. I have seen so many of my female peers go through so much and come out so strong and then they just…..pinch their belly and say they need to drop another ten pounds. WHY??? TAKE UP THAT SPACE WITH YOUR STRONG AND CAPABLE BODY, BABE.

My own mother, in the last months of her life, suffering from dementia…..all she could focus on was how fat she was. This was a woman who taught generations, who opened people’s minds and worldviews, who traveled the world and raised two kids and impacted so many lives in so many ways, and all she could focus on as her mind went was how fat she was. It was so deeply ingrained in her to criticize her appearance that, even after she forgot my name and who I was, even after she forgot her own name and who she was…..she remembered that she was supposed to hate her own body.

I see photographers doing photoshoots with older women to help them see their innate beauty and I really appreciate that. I befriend grandmas quite a bit, and always make a point to tell the older women in my life how much I appreciate and value their friendship and wisdom. I think older women just sometimes need to be reminded of how much they mean to us, how so many of us look to them for inspiration and advice. As I’ve gotten older, I have basically become invisible, which to me is fucking fantastic, but I can see how, with women who have always placed their value on what others think of them, the invisible nature of getting older is quite the slap to the face. How can you gain approval if you’ve always looked outward for it and now nobody sees you?

I don’t really know where I’m going with this other than to say, I’m sorry. I wish you had more body neutral older women around. I wish it wasn’t considered radical for women to simply respect their bodies for what they do and not get hung up on the minutia of appearance. I wish it hadn’t taken me until 40 to look at my body and go ‘okay really, this time I mean it. I’m fine with you. We’re good.’ I wish every generation of women didn’t have to face some new form of fuckery concerning our vessels.

But also…..there are body neutral/positive older women out there. I’m one of them. I don’t always love my body but I accept it and what it does and offer it the same compassion and grace it gives me. Why would I hate the vessel that allows me to paint, to eat, to hug my child, to kiss my loved ones? Why would I hate my age? I lived every moment of my life that got me to this point, for better or for worse, so why deny the years that brought me here? They were good years. There were bad ones, too, but they only seemed bad in comparison to the good ones. Yin and yang, baby. Can’t taste the sweet as strongly without experiencing the sour.

You have such compassion in your words; I hope you carry it with you through whatever life brings you. It’s so easy to be angry, but it’s much harder to look past your frustrations and feel compassion for the people angering you. You have shown that in your words and that alone will help the women around you. Just keep at it ❤️

So sick and tired of the focus on women's ""beauty"". Older women seem to be more focused on looking "young" than they do being healthy. Skincare isn't by itself terrible, but it's often used as a proxy to the same problem and is just as much of an industry. Why is the focus on the "beauty" of my skin? I know more about how to take care of my female body at 20 than many older women do. I know more about my cycle and how my body functions. My skin is not the most important part, especially if it's not getting in my way or hurting me. The focus is always cosmetic. As usual.

It's just depressing to see, because I respect the wisdom of my older women; but I almost find myself (a bit unfairly) wanting to turn them to my side. My teacher (and friend!), one of the most bright and incredible women I know, often complaining in jokes about her weight. So many of my male teachers have been overweight. Not a single one has shown this behavior. My therapist, another brilliant and diligent woman, telling me not to make her feel even older and worrying about her age, just because I asked her how I should address her. This isn't uncommon, it's baseline. I've never met a woman who doesn't mention some form of this when I ask. It's discouraging. There's nothing more flourishing than having people to look up to who are unapologetic about their age, who focus on living healthy and productive lives, and these women are, by all means, so close to that! They're successful, they're brilliant, they're free, and yes, they are perfectly, physically fine! But for some reason, it always needs to come back to their ""looks"", or their age, or some other socially imposed insecurity I've never seen many men blink at to the sheer scope these women do. And I've had so many women in my life like this. My mother, my other therapists... No offense to her, but my sister doesn't even like the *idea* of being called Señora and I think it's telling how much women seem to despise it, while Señor is almost coveted.

This is not normal. This is not fine. And it shouldn't be radicalizing of me, or "feminist", to just want to live a normal life where I can be myself without making a statement, where I'm not afraid of just becoming older and looking it. Where every amazing woman in my life isn't cutting herself down over the stupidest (and I'm sorry for saying that, I know their insecurities have a reason) reasons. So many skilled women I've met, and not a single one hasn't made repeated or offhanded comments about some aspect of her body that's not "attractive."

It's so discouraging, and makes me feel so alone; as if I'm very radical just to expect them to respect themselves on a deeper level. I want older women to be my role models in more manners of self-acceptance too.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Just The Way You Are/ 10

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 3.1k

Includes- Nudity teasing, office sex, wall sex, fingering, oral, pussy eating, cum swallowing, riding, desk sex from behind, choking, squirting, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @aichanvlog @vemarkciraptor @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @hijirikaww

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Two months later

Seonghwa POV

"Love you Hwa", she texts as I walk to the classroom

First day of classes for the fall semester

She already had all her classes earlier today but I have an 4:30 pm class to teach today

"Love you jagi. I'll see you after my class", I text back

She sends a smile face blowing a kiss and I smile so hard, like a total dork

But that's just how she makes me

All smiles

These past three months have been amazing

I'm so glad I went to Joong's show and told her how I felt that night

Everything worked out perfectly and I got the girl of my dreams

Putting my phone in my pocket, I open the door to the classroom and walk in

"Hello everyone", I say as I get to the desk and put my bag down, "I'm professor Park"

Glancing up at the students, I'm startled to see Joanne sitting at a desk that's right in front of mine

She just sits with her face in her hands smiling at me

What is she doing here?

She's not on the list of students I have

Unless she just registered and she hasn't been put on it yet

But she's my girlfriend, can she be in my class?

No she can't

I don't think it's allowed

I remember another professor in the department had a student as a girlfriend and he told a bunch of us that as long as she didn't sign up for his class it was ok

Would I have to break up with her? Or keep it a secret?

I raise my eyebrow at her and she only smirks

What is she smirking at?

Movements under the desk she's sitting at catches my attention and I swallow hard seeing her cross her legs, her thigh exposed from the mini skirt she's wearing

The plaid mini skirt she wears when we play exactly what we are in this situation- professor and student

Images of her riding me in the skirt and bending her over the bed, fucking her hard bombard my mind

Push it out, I tell myself

Shoving the images out of my head, I focus on the class

Getting the syllabus out, I walk to the beginning of each row, handing them out

"This is the syllabus for the class", I say, trying not to stammer

Since she's in the front, I give her a stack and she smiles, saying softly, "Thank you Mr. Park"

A shiver runs down my spine hearing her low voice

All that hits my memory is her bouncing on me, saying, "Like that Mr. Park? You're big cock feels so good"

Stop

Going behind the teacher desk, I sit and start going over the syllabus with the class

"We'll spend one to three weeks on each book, depending on the page size", I say, trying and failing to keep my eye off her

This is ridiculous

She's my girlfriend, I talk to her all the time, there's no reason why I should be nervous

"There are no tests, just papers"

I glance back at her, her moving legs catching my attention

She opens them and I hold back a gasp seeing her pretty pussy out on display

'She has no panties on!', my brain screams

I have to focus

I look back at the syllabus, starting to go over the books then planning to go over the weeks and what is due when

"The first book is...uh...ahh", I trail off as my eyes move back to her sweet cunt

I just want to kneel down and eat her pussy, taste her cum

God I'm horny and so hard

I definitely can't stand up from this desk

"Mr. Park?", someone calls and I snap out of it

"I'm sorry. I feel a headache coming on", I lie, "Let's go over this syllabus quickly alright"

I take a breath, hoping I can get through this class without stumbling like a fucking idiot

--------------------------

"You were so hot Hwannie", she says, sitting across from me

After the disastrous class, she and I went to my office so I can grab a few things before we leave

"I loved seeing you teach. It makes me glad I'm gonna sign up for your class"

I stop shoving my laptop in my bag

What did she just say?

She's not...my class isn't one she needs to take....right?

I mean she took all her required and elective classes right?

"Wait, you're not really signing up for my class are you?", I ask worriedly

"Why? You don't want me in your class?", she pouts

"Of course I do jagi but if you're my student then I can't date you. I don't want to be apart while you're in my class", I panic, "I uh...maybe we could hide it? Or I could talk to my boss...."

I trail off when she starts laughing

"Am I missing something?", I ask, a little annoyed

"I was kidding baby", she answers, taking my hand, "I know you wouldn't be able to be with me if I was in your class. And I'm not willing to give you up even for your class"

I blink in confusion

So she's not in my class

"But why were you there today?", I ask

She shrugs, "My classes ended for today, I knew you had one left and I wanted to wait for you since we're supposed to go on a date after. I just wanted to see you teach, baby"

"So you came to hang out?"

She nods, "Just for today"

Ok, she's not in my class

But she did distract me today

I know I sounded like an idiot because all I could look at was her pretty pussy

Standing up, I walk to my door, breathing out

In relief that she's not my student and in frustration that I looked like a total idiot in front of my real students

"Hwa?", she asks, concern in her voice, "Are you ok?"

I don't answer, just keep breathing for a second

"Hwa!", she exclaims, getting and grabbing my arm, "What's wrong? Are you mad? I'm sorry! I didn't want to make you mad"

She didn't make me mad

Just annoyed but she needs to know not to do that again

Grabbing her arm, I push her against the wall

"You were such a bad girl", I growl, "Coming to my class and showing off that pussy"

I grab her skirt and pull it down, exposing her cunt

"This is my pussy", I tell her, rubbing her clit fast

She moans, sliding down the wall a little

"Anyone could have looked and seen my pussy"

I shove her legs open, sliding my fingers inside her, feeling her clench on them

I move them in and out making sure I hit her spot over and over

"I don't want anyone seeing my cunt. No one but me can look at those pretty swollen lips, my throbbing clit, my tiny hole. No one"

Kneeling down, I suck her clit in my mouth, tugging and playing hard, while she moans, her hands sliding in my hair, holding on

I keep moving my fingers, sucking on her throbbing clit like I'm never going to have it again

I will but I love going hard on her

Her pussy is throbbing so hard, ready to cum already

Pressing on her spot, she cries my name, coming

I pull my fingers out and shove my tongue inside her coming pussy, her cream all over my mouth

I swallow greedily, licking my pretty cunt clean

Standing up, I undo my pants, pulling everything down

Picking her up, I hold her against the wall, burying my cock inside her, her cunt opening wide for me

"Seonghwa. Fuck", she moans

"Be quiet", I snap, her eyes widening at me

Pulling out, I slam back in, impaling her on my dick hard

She shivers against me, her arms tightening around my neck

"This is my pussy", I tell her, fucking her slow but hard

And deep

So deep and her cunt keeps gripping me hard, pulsing hard, pulling me back in

"No one but me sees this cunt"

Her throbbing cunt takes me back in, pleasure rolling through me

"I'm the only one who eats this cunt. The only one who fucks this cunt. The only one who makes this cunt cum"

Thrusting into her again, she orgasms hard, shaking against the wall, her pussy creaming my cock so much

"Hwa", she whimpers softly

I have to close my eyes for a second from the massive pleasure I'm feeling

God her orgasms are the fucking best

I force myself to keep moving, plunging into her perfect wet cunt, the squelching noises so loud and so fucking pretty

"Look at me", I growl

Her eyes open, gaze right on me

"This pussy cums in my mouth. Around my fingers", I demand, her eyes widening, "This pussy creams my cock. Only mine. Understand?"

She nods, "Yes Hwa"

"You keep your panties on until I take them off. Understand?"

"Yes Hwa"

"Good baby"

Pull her off the wall, I carry her to my desk, sitting on my chair

"Now be a good girl and ride my cock"

"Yes Hwa", she whimpers, quickly bouncing desperately on my dick like she's never going to fuck me again

"Fuck that's it baby. Fuck your pussy baby", I groan, bliss running through me as I grip her thighs hard, "Lemme see you cream my cock jagi"

Moving my eyes down, my cock is completely covered, more and more gushing out of her with every move

It's driving me insane

"Fuck, such a pretty mess baby", I praise her, spreading her lips apart so I can see her hole take my cock

I watch it stretch wide open for me and that sight will never get old

She clenches me tightly, spasming fast around my dick as she fucks her spot on my head

"Gonna cum baby?"

"Yes Hwa", she moans

"Good baby. Give it to me"

Pressing my thumb to her clit, I rub fast to give her the extra push she needs

"Hwa!", she cries, getting louder

"Shh baby. We're in an office. There's other people around", I scold

"I can't...Hwa...feels too...ggg...oh fu--"

I move my hand over her mouth as she climaxes, her shouts muffled in my palm

She grabs my wrist hard, body shaking

Intense pleasure fucking rolls through me until she finishes

But I'm not done with her yet

Pulling her off me, I spin her around and push her down on the desk

Getting behind her, I plunge deep in her cunt, fucking her hard and fast right away

"Seonghwa, fuck"

"You have to be quiet", I growl, spreading her legs wider, angling her hips so I can easily fuck her as hard as I can

Her cunt is so tight around me, gripping my cock in a vice grip and pumping around my dick so beautifully

So pleasurably

"God this cunt is fucking amazing", I moan, the slapping of our skin a pornographic soundtrack I could listen to all fucking day

"Hwa!", she moans so desperately and it's so loud I'm worried someone is gonna come in

No matter how much I shush her, she doesn't change the volume

"Fuck!", I snap, moving my hand around her neck to pull her up when her cunt squeezes me so hard

Does she...like that?

Moving my hand away, I continue to thrust in a few times

Then I put my hand back and yeah she tightens around my dick so much that it's noticeable

Fuck she likes choking?

I've never done it before but I can see it being something I like

Never know until I try

Impaling her on my cock, she starts to get loud again

"If you don't be quiet I'm gonna choke you until you are"

Her pussy drenches me as she holds me hard

"Oh do you like that?", I tease her, "Wanna be choked?"

"Yes. Please Hwa. Fuck"

God her begging is such a turn on

I think I may just like this

"We'll see", I tell her, keeping my hand around her neck as I fuck her brains out

Squeezing my hand a little, her cunt throbs faster

"Oh god. Yes fuck", I moan in bliss as I hit her spot repeatedly

"Seonghwa!", she groans getting louder

Moving my hand, I choke her, her sounds cutting off

Her hands grip my desk so hard, her body shuddering as her pussy squirts all over my cock

Pushing through the pulsing tight vice grip her cunt has on my cock throws me into an ecstasy ridden orgasm

Burying my face in her shoulder, I bite my lip to keep quiet as I fill her with cum

My god it feels fucking amazing

When I get my senses back, I let go of her neck, pulling out and immediately turning her to me to check on her

I didn't mean to hold on to her neck so tightly

"Jagi? Are you ok?", I ask, pushing her hair out of her face, her eyes closed, "Baby please answer me"

Her eyes open slowly as she nods, "I'm ok"

I move her hair behind her shoulder checking her neck

"Fuck", I gasp at the darkening fingerprints on her skin

My fingerprints

Shit

"Jagi-", I choke, so scared that I seriously hurt her

"What? Baby what's wrong?", she asks

"There...there's fingerprints....here", I tell her, gently touching the spots

She reaches up, taking my hand and kissing the back of it

"It's ok Hwa. It's just little bruises. It's fine. You didn't hurt me. I liked it"

"But-"

"Shh baby", she says, cupping my face, "I promise I'm ok. I'm not breakable ok? Don't worry so much"

Even though I still feel guilty, I nod

She presses her lips to mine, kissing me softly

Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her to me, kissing her back

"I love you Hwa", she whispers

"I love you Jo", I tell her

She smiles brightly, then kisses my cheek, "Ready for our date?"

I chuckle, nodding, "Yeah baby. Lemme get my pants up and you need to get your skirt on"

"Yeah true", she giggles

She goes to her bag and pulls out panties, getting them on while I pull my pants up

"You had those in your bag?"

"Duh Hwannie. I'm not walking around all day with no panties"

Huh, I didn't even think of that

She was in classes all day, of course she should of had underwear on

I should hope she would

Once we fix ourselves and get the things we need, I take her hand and we leave my office

"So where we going?", she asks

"Whenever you want baby"

We're just going to dinner, then my apartment

"Ok I'll think about it", she smiles

I know her

She's going to want to go to the same Korean restaurant we always go to

It's her favorite and I don't care where we eat as long as I'm with her

"Sure jagi. Are you sleeping over tonight?"

She nods, "Yup"

Good

Now I can ask her what I've been holding off asking

"Great. So how about after tonight, you don't leave?"

She glances at me, her eyebrow raising, "Not leave? I still have all my stuff at my apartment baby"

"You can bring it over to mine and keep it there"

She stops walking and I turn to her

"What...what does that mean Hwa?"

"It means I would like you to move in with me"

Her mouth drops open, her eyes widening

"Joong is moving out. He's serious about Hyeon and he's moving in with her. He even told me he's looking at rings to propose to her"

Her eyebrow raises, "That's great but he never told me he was moving out"

"I asked him not to so I could ask you to move in", I answer

"Oh", she says

I move closer to her, looking down at her gorgeous face, "I don't know if you realize it Jo but I'm serious about you. I love you more than anything. And I want to live with you. I want to fall asleep with you every night and I want to wake up to you every morning knowing that you don't have to go back to your apartment because my bed is your bed. My room is your room. My apartment is your apartment. My everything is yours"

I hope I'm not coming on too strong but I really want this

I never thought I'd find my girl that's just for me and now that I have her, I never want to let her go

"Ok well when am I moving in?"

I blink, my brain trying to understand what she's saying

And when it does I'm overjoyed

"As soon as you want jagi. Joong is moving out this weekend"

"Then I'm moving in this weekend"

I smile widely, nodding, "Ok jagi. I'll help you pack"

She nods, throwing her arms around my neck, "Yay Hwannie!"

I hug her tightly, so happy she said yes

"Yay baby", I answer, kissing the top of her head

"I'm so excited. I get to live with my Hwannie"

"I get to live with my jagi", I chuckle

She lifts her head, moving on her toes and I know she wants a kiss

And I'll always give her as many kisses as she wants

My lips meet hers and I melt into her

I know we're kissing in the middle of the campus but I don't care

She's mine and I'm not going to hide her just because I work here

After the kiss, we hold hands again as we walk towards the parking lot

Suddenly she stops, tugging my arm

Stopping, I turn to her, wondering if everything is alright

"Are you planning on proposing to me too?", she asks

I burst out laugh, "Eventually but not right now"

"Eventually?", she smiles softly

I nod

Might as well be truthful

"Yeah jagi. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I'm not going to tell you when I'm going to propose because I want it to be a surprise but eventually I will"

"Well thank god"

"Oh yeah?", I smile

She nods, "I want you for the rest of my life too Hwa. But first let's move in together and get settled before we get married"

"Sounds like a plan", I agree, happy she wants to marry me too

"But even before that, let's eat because I'm hungry"

Chuckling, I say, "Ok baby. Let's go my little piggy"

"Oink oink", she says absolutely adorably

Pulling her close to me, I put my arm around her as we walk to my car

The End❤️

[hobbitsnapes]

YOU GUYS ARE DATING

Corpse x MGK!sister reader

(Found this image on Pinterest so all credit goes to artist, if you know who it is please comment below so I can credit them)

A/N: this was requested by @heyitssab

Tree is tall of sex in this, but it’s more in a joking matter, plus corpse has stated he doesn’t mind as long as you are not a minor or send or tag him. I’m literally 2 years younger than him, and have no intentions of ever tagging him or sending him any of my work XD

Summary: how many idiots does it take to tell the brother and friend they’re dating? Apparently takes 2 very forgetful people, who kept their relationship secret without knowing it.

It had just been by chance, a small chance that he had been scrolling through his tags. liking and reposting art, when he saw a tag from someone he followed. He wrecked his brain for when he had followed her, coming up empty. She was cute, no denying the beauty she had as she laughed in the video. It was a clip from a stream that he didn’t know she had, as he couldn’t even remember her name, wearing his merch as it fit her snug. It fit her perfectly in fact, the large hood covering her face, hiding the flush to her face from her rather large chuckles that left her body. He couldn’t help but like the photo, and he couldn’t help but to press message either.

It was first only small likes to posts, an Occasional message, and a view on their livestreams, but that all changed when he spoke of the song he was working on with her older brother.

It all started that night, when both lay in their beds as they talked, laughed, and felt their hearts flutter each time they heard one another speak.

Her phone rang violently in her bag, nearly making her drop the to go bag all over the ground as she walked. “Hello?” She asked, as she held both bags with her hands as her shoulder gripped the phone as if it’d fall down a cliff. “Hey bug!” He exclaimed, making her chuckle as she heard the booming sound of his voice. She had always detested the nickname, as he gave it to her as kids due to her horrendous fear of the creatures. But, it brought more joy to her, as it reminded her of their youth. Having been adults for years, it was fun to hear such a childish name that’s stuck.

“Hey mopey.” She chuckled, as that was the name she gave him when he was in his emo phase that he never outgrew.

Both talked as she walked towards the elevator, mainly about how his day had gone as she silently listened.

She had always been this way, always the shyer of the two, the one to listen to others first before she said a word. He had teased her for it most of their childhood and teen life, but he had grown to love it, as he could let loose or rant to her about anything, and he knew she’d be there just to listen to him.

“So what’re you doing right now?” He asked, as she got into the elevator. “Just grabbed some dinner a few minutes before you called and nearly made me shit.” A smile painted on her face at his boisterous laughter.

“Are you at home?” He asked, as he heard the sound of the elevator beeping in the background. “No, I’m spending the night with my boyfriend.”

She had mentioned about a month prior that she was seeing someone, the joy it brought him to hear the excitement and joy in her tone as she gushed about their first date.

If this was 7 or 8 years prior, he would be bombarding her with questions about the man, who he was, where he lived, where he could meet him to find his intentions with his baby sister. But, in the last few years, he found himself feeling calmer whenever she’d mentioned her love life. He knew she was smart, and would never date a man who treated her poorly. The few breakups she had, they always ended amicably, her head still high as she told him. So, he never asked her any questions about the man, as he could tell from the few times she mentioned him, he could feel the love this man had for her, and Vice versa.

The strong barreling of her phone alerted them awake, both groaning out as she reached for her phone without lifting her head from his shoulder. “Hello?” She mumbled, voice slurred as the saliva was thick in her mouth, barely awake as she fought to listen in on who dares to wake them up.

“Hey!” He exclaimed, making her equally exhausted lover groan. She shifted off of him, laying on her back as he turned away from her, as to hopefully shut his eyes and fall back asleep. She was used to her brother's large voice, as it hardly phased her after growing up with him. “Colson, why are you calling me this ungodly hour?” “Oh come on, it’s not that early.” “Col its-“ She pulled her phone from her ear, eyes shutting violently as the bright light blinded her “5 o’clock in the morning. So again, I’m going to ask you, why did you call me at the asscrack of dawn?” “You don’t remember?” He asked, making her irritation grow. “No, that’s why I’m asking.” She says, as she rubbed her sleep crusted eyes. “You were coming up today to hang out with casie, remember?” Her hand stopped rubbing her face, as she felt her heart stop momentarily. “Wait, you mean today? I thought I was coming Friday?” “No, both of you settled on today, remember I told you that’s perfect because I have a day off?” She felt her heart pain as she heard the sadness in his tone, knowing he’s expecting her to bail. “Yeah sorry, I thought you meant Friday so I mixed it up, let me get ready and I’ll be out the door okay? Love you” she said, as she hung up the line.

Before she could even move, she felt his arm wrap around her body. A tired groan leaving his lips. “Nooo stayyyy.” He groaned, pulling her body to his. She smiled as she looked down at him, wrapping her arm on his chest and the other behind his neck. “I wish I could live, but I can’t.” Planting a soft kiss against his lips. “Stay in bed for a few more hours, please?” Her heart pulled at his tone, hearing just how tired he was. “I can’t, casies wanted me to come up for weeks now. And it takes a good 3 hours to get there. I wanna spend as much time as I can with them before it gets dark so I can get back safely.” He groaned at this, wrapping his arms around her. “Yeah but it’s only 5, it wouldn’t be safe to drive since we went to bed like, 2 hours ago.” “Yeah, and whos fault was that mister?” She teased, “hmm, sorry but I just couldn’t keep my hands to myself after not seeing you for a few days.” He mused, pulling her body closer to his, planting his lips against hers. A small hum left her lips as he pulled her thigh over his, grabbing the flesh harshly as their lips cascaded together. “Mm, no no no, you’re not gonna convince me to stay here just to go another round.” She said, as she got off from his warm body, throwing his large hoodie over her bare body. “Oh come on babe, are you sure about that?” He said, making her turn around to him. A small gasp left her lips as her eyes took in his milky white complexion. His honey brown eyes looking back at her with a small smile etched onto his face. His hair a tousled mess that resembled a bird's nest, some pieces falling onto his face. “Honey, I’ve been wanting to see my family for weeks now, I see you almost everyday and practically live here. I’ll be back tomorrow so I can grab more clothes from my place okay?” She placed a kiss to his lips, both holding one another in their arms. “I don’t know why you don’t just say fuck that place and just move in.” He mumbled, making her chuckle and heart warm. “Don't you think it’s a little soon though? I mean we’ve only been together a few months love.” “Yeah, but you’ve practically lived here since we got together, you literally just go there to get more clothes that you end up leaving here.” She looked into his eyes as she thought about his words. “Hm, I’ll think about it today okay?” She mused, planting a kiss to his lips. A soft okay leaving him as she got up.

“And babe, remember if you live here, we can have all the sex we want and not have to worry about driving to get one another.” He exclaimed, laughing at the loud honey she screamed from the bathroom.

She couldn’t help but laugh out as she watched, as her niece tried her hardest to braid her fathers grown out hair. It was near impossible not to, as pieces would fall out, resulting in her pulling them harsher, nearly pulling his eyelids back due to the tension from his temples. “Okay okay you’re gonna fuckin scalp me.” He chuckled , as all three bursted out in large laughter.

“So how’s school going this year?” She asked her, as she delicately painted her nails. Both of the girls had found themselves on the floor in front of the nice coffee table, as colson sat and chatted with them. “It’s going really well.” “Oh yeah? Make any new friends?” She teased. “I mean, kinda.” She couldn’t help but hear the wavering in her tone, spotting the faint blush dusting her skin. “Ohh, so there’s a someone eh?” She teased to her, making the preteen hide her face as to conceal the flush. “His names Garrett, and we both take social studies together. He always sits next to me at lunch, and we’ll draw on my notebook.” She gushed, making her smile. “Soo, do you think he likes you?” “I mean, that’s what everyone keeps saying.” “Yeah well don’t worry about it to much cas, you’re not dating anyone for many more years. You’re still a kid.” Her das said, making the young girls face fall.

Y/N knew he was only saying this to protect her, as he said the same thing to her growing up. “Hey, don’t be bummed out about it. He is right, you both are only 12 and should focus on school. But don’t worry, he’ll come around. He was just like that with me up until my current boyfriend.” She whispered, making the young girl chuckle.

“Speaking of which, how are you guys doing?” He asked, as she hadn’t mentioned hun to her in a while. He didn’t think it’d hurt to ask. “Great actually, we’re thinking of moving in together actually.” “That’s great! I’m really happy that y’all met.” “Yeah, I am too.” She hummed, a flush dusting her cheeks.

Both men laughed as they chatted on the phone, talking about anything that would come to mind. What was once only a collaboration for a song, turned into an amazing friendship that caused both of them to call at late hours just to shoot the shit.

A yawn left his lips, as he listened to colson ramble on about another song he was making. “Woah, you tired man?” Colson asked, shocked to hear the sound. “Yeah sorry, was up most of the night last night.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Were you feeling alright?” He asked, worry laced in his tone. He knew all about his friends illnesses, even once being on the other end of the phone during a bad spell one day.” “Oh yeah yeah yeah, was just, up with the misses last night.” He chuckled, a flush blooming on his cheeks. “Ohhh yeah? And how was it?” This shocked him, nearly feeling his heart stop. Like, does he usually know about his sisters sex life? He didn’t think much of it, as he knew just how close both were. “It was absolutely fucking amazing. Like I thought we’d be done for the night, fully tapped out but after like 5 minutes she’d be right back on me for another round.” He chuckled, his flush even worse than before. “Ayyyeee good for you corpse, glad to hear that puss is bussin.” He laughed at this, throwing his head back. “Yeah, it’s bussin bussin.”

Both men talk as they read from their phones, eyes wide in absolute awe of the love they received from the song. They had just dropped it a few days prior, not expecting the cry of joy from both fan bases.

He didn’t even look up from it when she walked in, until she bent down to plant a kiss to his forehead. “Sorry I had completely forgot about the tea I made you an hour ago, but I put it back on the stove to heat it up so if it’s twisting funky just tell me okay?” Before he could even thank her, both their heads whipped towards the loudness from the other line. “Y/N? Is that you? What in the hell are you doing there with corpse!” He didn’t sound angry, more shocked than anything, both of them looking at the phone in confusion. “I, I love here? Remember I told you like a month ago I was moving in with him?” “WHAT!” Both jumped at the loud scream. “Wait so you guys are dating!?” Both we’re even more perplexed, until it dawned on both of them. Their eyes wide as they turned their heads to one another slowly. “Wait you didn’t tell him?” “No? He’s one of your best friends so I thought you did!” “He’s your brother! So I thought you did!” Both whisper, until all three lay silent. That was until, the large cry of laughter that leaves the two, leaving colson even more confused. He wasn’t mad, not at all actually. More shocked and confused than anything. Until he started thinking, it does make sense, all the times they spoke about one another without him knowing, all the times they mentioned-“OH GOD!” He yelled, gagging violently, making them stop their laughing fit. “What's wrong? Why are you yelling?” She asks “like a month ago corpse was talking about how he was tired cause he was up all night having sex AND I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU! OH GOD WAS THAT WHY YOU WERE LIMPING THAT DAY WITH CAS AND I!” Both laugh even harder, as they listen to his ever growing gags.

“So yeah,. That’s literally how we had no idea we were keeping the relationship secret from her brother.” He laughed, as he red the comments and listened to his friends' laughter. She sat beside him, head laying on his shoulder as he told the story. She couldn’t help but to look back up into his eyes, as he glanced down at her, planting a soft kiss to her lips. “Keep it pg guys.” Colson said from the other line, making them chuckle.

[mothandpidgeon]

Ok but since you are writing a Regency piece...could you imagine having Din Djarin and Marcus Pike fighting over you? Each of them is so different and you can't help it because you're attracted to both of them because Din is the brooding yet kind introverted man that quotes to you poetry and takes you on long boat rides (with someone else of course because he cares about your image) and you're head over heels in love but then Marcus comes along and he's dashing and sweet and a little introverted but mostly talkative whenever he has to be and although he doesn't read to you poetry, he does gush about how none of the Greek and Roman and Etruscan sculptures and Italian works of art come close to your beauty and he takes you on long walks in gardens and even invites you to go to Versailles one time with him and then the three of you run into each other during one of the balls and the two are begging just for a moment with you and you're dancing with no one else but them during the entire night and when you try to go to the garden to get some fresh air, you're bombarded by the two men and they get into a heated argument to the point where they say that they will duel for you but you stop them both because you don't want either of them to get hurt and then...oh my sweet lord...and then, you take each of their hands and kiss their knuckles and fuck you shouldn't be doing this because what if someone sees and your reputation and no no no...but they both grow even more shy and you smile at them and-

"How about you invite us over to your estate Captain Djarin? I'm sure we can all...come to an agreement. Right?"

And the two are so confused but when they look at each other and return their gaze to you, they finally realize what it is you're talking about and they're both appalled by your offer but their shock slowly subsides because they fucking crave you and they nod and you throw each one of them a wink and-

"I'm looking forward to the invitation, good evening gentlemen."

And AHHHHHHHHHHH I DIE!!!!!!!!

Ok, Maggie, you went SO HARD on this one. Phew. You really know how to torment me!!! You are always welcome in my inbox. Considering the tale you wove, I really hope this lives up to it and you’ll have to forgive me I could go on but I was already approaching 1.5k words!!

Also I hope you don’t mind (and apologies to Regency!Din) but the mention of Versailles just screamed late 18th century (an important distinction in my nerd brain) so…

A/N: 18+! This ribbon bit comes from Barry Lyndon so apologies to the ghost of Stanley Kubrick.

It was a shame that Misters Djarin and Pike detested one another so when they had so many similarities. Both of them were kind and sweet and terribly handsome.

Mr. Pike accompanied you to the opera on more than one occasion. In the privacy of your box, he would whisper sweet words into your ear and nudge the soft skin of your neck with his nose. Mr. Djarin was more of an outdoorsman. He took you riding on his estate. When you were far enough on the grounds, he would help you down from the saddle and recite poetry to you beneath a shady tree.

And yet seeing them side by side now in Mr. Djarin’s parlor where you’d just shared a very awkward tea, tension straining the air between them, they couldn’t be more different. Mr. Djarin, so reserved, dark and modest. Mr. Pike, flirtatious and warm, cheek always dimpled with a smile.

You knew it wasn't going to be easy to break the wall between them but you’d been wise enough to plan for it.

“It seems I cannot force an accord between you but I know how men like their sport. I propose a wager. Nothing like a friendly competition to encourage affection,” you said.

Marcus cocked his eyebrow. He had wanted to win you since he’d met you last summer, pursuing you endlessly and yet this other man still stood in his way.

“I wonder which of you is a better hunter,” you said.

“And how would we prove that?” Mr. Pike asked. Din’s brow creased. He didn’t know how hunting had anything to do with your ludacris proposal, the one that they had both scoffed at at the ball. He wouldn’t have agreed to contemplate the thought if he hadn’t been so afraid of losing you.

You rose from your seat and both pairs of brown eyes watched you intently.

“I have devised a test. I’ve hidden a white ribbon somewhere on my person,” you said, trying to bite back your smile. “The better man finds it first.”

Both men looked at you in a stunned silence. Your heart was racing nervously but you were savoring their expressions. Mr. Djarin collected himself first.

“You’ll forgive me for being unfamiliar with the ways in which women amuse themselves but I hardly find such a suggestion to be entertaining,” Mr. Djarin said, his cheeks turning pink.

He couldn’t pretend that the idea of undressing you didn’t make his heart pound but he hated how easily you would give yourself over to Mr. Pike. He disliked the way Pike flirted with you so openly. Of course, he knew some of it was envy— he had never been a charmer.

“I do not speak in jest, sir,” you told him.

“That is what you want?” Mr. Pike asked, his soft eyes already slipping lower. He was already thinking of places to explore.

You watched Mr. Djarin look away from you when he nodded.

“And the better man, does he win something?” Pike asked, enjoying how flustered the other man had become.

“My highest regard,” you answered coyly.

Marcus chuckled.

“Then the lady should get what she wants, don’t you agree?” he asked Mr. Djarin.

Din cleared his throat.

“Very well,” he said.

Pike came to your side and took your hand to escort you to the couch where you sat between him and Mr. Djarin.

“Perhaps you should take the first turn,” you suggested to Mr. Djarin who was looking at you with a mix of fear and yearning in his eye.

He’d been so careful with you, always so cautious not to overstep or do anything at all that might invite scandal save a few soft kisses. And here you were laying yourself out for him. He swallowed dryly and met your eye with a shrug of surrender.

“Is it in your hair?” he asked, eyes darting up to your coiffure.

You smiled at him, nearly reached out to put your hand on his cheek. That protective nature was what drew you to Mr. Djarin in the first place. You knew what he really wanted, you could see it in his eyes, but he was too polite to take what was being offered. Not without convincing.

“I believe this requires a more thorough search, Djarin,” Pike said from over your shoulder.

He cupped your hands and turned them over as in a playful inspection, then lifted both of your arms. “No. Not there.”

You laughed and the noise made his heart jump. He’d found that he would make himself a fool if it put a smile on your face. Marcus was happy to take the opportunity to move in closer, to claim you with his touch. He brushed your neck so gently, his fingers tracing a ljne from your jaw to your shoulder where the bodice of your dress began. Goose pimples broke out on your skin and Marcus put his lips against your earlobe.

“I wonder,” he mused, leaning your back into his chest.

He hooked a finger under the fabric and followed the line down from your shoulder to the swell of your breast and you gasped. He had so often admired the rise and fall of your chest, Marcus couldn’t help but caress your skin with his thumb. Din felt himself stiffen as he listened to the soft moans Pike was drawing from you as he put a kiss on your skin. Watching your lips part, Din was frozen in place.

Marcus moved his hand down the straight front of your bodice and you felt yourself pulsing beneath your skirts.

“Perhaps under here?” he asked.

You allowed him to work the front of your gown open, the silk parting to reveal the creamy ivory stays below. Din felt twin aches in his chest and his groin as he saw the other man slide the bodice off of your shoulders.

Neither had seen you in such a state of undress before. Marcus took a moment to steady himself, admiring the figure below and sliding his hand across your middle. You were hardly naked, still clad in your stays, shift, and skirts but your underthings made his cock twitch.

“Now you see how the game is played and that Mr. Pike has been so far unsuccessful,” you said to Mr. Djarin, your voice more breathless than before. “Would you care to try, Mr. Djarin?”

You encouraged him by bringing your foot to rest beside his knee, leaning back into Mr. Pike. Din licked his lips, staring at the floral pattern on your delicate shoe for what felt like a century. Finally, he gave in to his longing.

He ran his fingers up your ankle over your silk stocking, revealing the smooth line of your leg. His large hands encircled your calf as he inched your skirt up further. You let out a shaking breath, squeezing your thighs together. You could hear Mr. Pike’s jagged breaths in your ear as he watched with anticipation. He had half a mind to release himself from his breeches to relieve the torment building there.

Din was careful not to reveal any of your skin, stopping just above the spot at your knee where your stockings were tied with thick ribbons.

“These are blue,” he said, running his thumb over the bow.

You were looking down at him flushed and breathing heavy and it took everything in his power to stop from taking you then and there.

You leaned to him, putting your lips against his and letting your mouth fall open to invite him in. You heard him whimper and he clutched onto your leg. Then you turned to Mr. Pike who kissed you hungrily, his wide palm kneading at your breasts.

“I’m quite disappointed in the both of you,” you said once you could speak again. Your whole body was thrumming with arousal.

You raised your skirts up around your hips and felt both pairs of eyes lustily watching. There, tied around the thickest part of your thigh was the white ribbon. But they only noticed the slick shining between your thighs.

“We shall call it a draw. But I’m afraid that means you’ll have to share me, gentlemen,” you said.

And from their twin growls, it was clear that they didn’t mind.

[mellow-em]

Bittersweet Temptations

CHAPTER 2

[special dt @bluewingedangel <3]

Your neighbors, Nathan and Elena, have been friends with your parents for years. Whether it’d be family gatherings or vacations, they were around; they were family. But when you return home from your final years of college, what will happen when you find that it isn't just them living in the house next door anymore?

_____________________________________

The afternoon sun brought in a relaxing mixture of natural light from the windows, but I wasn’t even remotely focused on it.

My right leg was bouncing hastily under the kitchen table while I prodded my salad with a fork. I tossed a particularly small carrot around in the bowl, swirling it around the sea of other vegetables.

“Are you gonna eat that or play around with it sweetie?” The sound of my mothers voice raced right through one ear and out the other one.

I only sighed in response, and leaned the side of my head on my hand, not bothering to look up at either of my parents that sat across from me.

They urged me to consistently have family meals with them today, in an attempt to dine on the experiences I had away at college. If they’d asked me to do this at any other time, I wouldn’t mind.

But my head was clouded by something else; or should I say by someone else.

Last night refused to escape my line of thinking. Even after it all went down, I went back to bed to try and fall back asleep, but it was absolutely no use.

The cunning quirk of his lips as he smirked back at me was an image that glued itself to the front of my brain. I reeled around in bed until sunrise, unable to silence my thoughts regardless of any persistence. So as of now, I was beyond exhausted.

“y/n? Are you alright?”

I jump faintly in my chair, with my fathers words pulling me away from my cogitation of the man from the pool, “I’m um.. I’m fine, sorry.”

I gave them a toothless smile as reassurance, but by the exchange of looks they both gave each other, they didn’t seem too convinced.

I shifted uncomfortably, and stabbed the carrot I was messing with. I slowly bring it towards my mouth, finally having the compulsion to take a bite.

Until the man’s wink decided to project in front of me, as if I was experiencing the whole ordeal all over again.

I abruptly dropped the fork into the bowl, resulting in a reverberating clash that not only startled my parents, but it startled me back into reality again.

“Jesus y/n, what’s gotten into you?”

I’m asking that same question, mom.

“Nothing, I uh- think I’m just tired,” the excuse flew out of my mouth in a panic, “I’m just.. I’m gonna go shower for the party later.”

I hurriedly sprung from my seat, and scurried up the stairs to the bathroom.

“Well that was smooth, dumbass,” I muttered out in the open, while slamming the door behind me.  

That son of a bitch is driving me crazy, and I haven’t even had a single conversation with him.

I take a few steps into the bathroom, placing both of my hands on opposite sides of the sink, leaning over with my body weight. With my head bowed down to the direction of my feet, I suspired deeply.

This was stupid. The brief interaction was embarrassing, yes, but with how I reacted today during lunch, especially when the party was happening later on today..

I just needed to stop thinking about what happened last night.

Act like it didn’t happen.

It didn’t happen.

____________

Turmoil carried on in the form of muffled conversations, and distinct bass from the speakers on the lower levels of the house. Even being upstairs in my room, the walls weren’t thick enough to block the noise that derived from the party.

Of course, my dad’s annual excuse backfired, and instead of the party being fairly small, it was as big as the rest of the parties we've had in the past. Although I really shouldn’t be surprised, knowing this really has carried on for 10 years at most.

As of now, I could only assume that the booze was already out for everyone, and by the end of the night, I could guarantee that almost half the people here will be drunk. It reassured me though, especially when I’ll probably end up being one of those people.

I could use a little alcohol in my system; to let myself go a little bit.

While fixing the straps of my white sundress, I looked at myself in the mirror, making sure any scraps of exhaustion were not visible on my features. Despite longing for a few hours of rest, I knew for a fact that I wasn’t going to get much yet again.

With satisfaction, I back away from my vanity, and start for the door that barricaded me from the chaos.

The exchanges of laughter became much more pronounced as I slowly opened the door, and traveled down the hall. My feet carried me towards the stairs, shaking from the rumble of the speakers seeping through the walls and floors.

It was a blessing that the noise didn’t affect our neighbors enough for them to make complaints; but that was mostly because they were all here.

With each step down the flight, more of the party overtook my vision. Guests were dispersed amongst every room as far as I could see, gathering around each other in hopes of starting conversation over the music. It had been fairly crowded to say the least.

Immediately after I make it to the ground floor, I’m bombarded by my mother.

“Hey honey, Nathan and Elena are outside if you want to say hello to them!” her slightly raising her voice didn't really help much, with us being right next to the speakers. But I nodded letting her know I understood.

Turning away from her, I then faced the crowd of people in front of me. I start to weave my way through, making slight pauses along the way to thank them for coming. Most of the people around me had a slight stench of beer already, making me scrunch my nose; that smell is definitely going to linger afterwards.

Eventually making it to the door, I slide it open and step out, letting the freshness of the outside air fill my senses. I quickly noticed the difference between the outdoors and the impeded aura from inside the house. It felt like I was finally able to breathe.

After shutting the sliding door behind me, I strolled away towards the yard.

I made sure to make a slight detour to the cooler to grab myself a beer though, rashly cracking it open as soon as I got my hands on one. I take a swig while observing the guests around me.

As soon as I saw a familiar head of blonde hair a few yards away, I could feel myself smile widely. I hadn’t seen Nate or Elena in four years, and being back home now is making me realize how much I missed them.

The both of them had moved into the neighborhood about a year after my family, and that was over 15 years ago. Ever since then, they hit it off more than you could imagine.

They had all gotten so close to one another, that they’d have annual dinners together, game nights and tag along on all of our family trips. They would even bring in their ideal vacation spots up to us, which evolved into us traveling to entirely different countries most of the time.

While Elena and my mom went to any beach they could find, and my dad found the bar, Nathan really wanted to drag me along to the historical landmarks and teach me about everything he knew. It made our relationship blossom, and now I considered him my second father.

Plus, because of him I began to develop an endless love for history.

I liked it so much that I made the decision to go to college for it. Nathan’s reaction when I told him before I left was something for the cover of a photo album, and I just knew already that a million questions were going to arise when I got to them.

I stepped down from the deck, and walked towards them with my lips still curled in a smile.

As I made it closer to them though, my gaze became hazy. With my brows contorting, my confused demeanor became more visible with every footstep I made closer to Nate and Elena.

There was another man wrapped into their conversation. He was taller than the other two, especially Elena. I noticed his hair slicked back ruggedly, from above the others’ heads. Though, I still couldn’t get a proper look at his face yet.

I turned my direction slightly to discreetly see who my neighbors were conversing with. My curious nature was overriding my body.

I should have just listened to that universally cliche phrase.

Curiosity did kill the fucking cat, and I wish it would just kill me now.

From here, I had a clear view of his face. He stood there listening to Nate’s banter, with a cigarette wedged between his lips.

The lips I had been staring at the night before, along with the rest of him.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

By this point I would’ve  been repeating my annual habit of staring in place. But  fortunately, I turned on my heal sharply to try and escape.  

“Oh my god y/n?” My breath hitched while Elena's voice rang out towards me.

Well great.

I held that particular breath in as I turned my body once more to face her. My warm smile returned to my face, but a layer of embarrassment and panic riddled beneath the surface.

“Elena, it’s so good to see you,” I went over and wrapped my arms around her carefully, keeping her baby bump in mind, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she returned the hug, leaning close to my ear, mumbling, “especially when I’ve had to deal with him all alone. I swear sometimes I really question whether the pregnancy hormones are hitting me or him harder.”

I look over at Nate for a quick second, stifling a laugh while I let go of Elena. The two of us continued laughing faintly, certainly gaining the attention of Nate.

“What are you two laughing about? What’d I do this time?” Nate looked genuinely perplexed, which made it funnier.

“Oh nothing, Nate,” Elena and I looked at each other, smirking as she spoke.

Even with Elena and I’s pleasant interaction, that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach just wouldn’t quit. I just knew he was watching my every move.

Especially, when in the corner of my eye, I watched his travel with me as I went to give Nate his hug.

“It’s good to have you back, Crash.”

Hearing the nickname took me away from my thoughts on the man behind me for a moment, and made my smile lift. 

“It’s been too long, Aku.”

We stayed this way for a few more seconds, until I feel him pat my back. I let my arms fall away from him, and return to my spot in front of them.

I then feel my head slowly turn over to the unknown one of the three; well to me he was unknown. 

“So who’s this?” I cross my arms in front of me, anticipating an answer from one of them.

But silence continued to radiate around us. 

They all stood there, exchanging looks with one another, making me raise one of my brows. While awaiting a response I decided to take a long sip of my beer, feeling the cold liquid slide down my throat. 

That is, before Nate finally spoke up, “Y/n, this is Sam,” he paused, and I could see the hesitation written all over him, “Sam Drake.”

I almost choked on my beer as soon as I heard the last name. I thought for a solid minute that my eyes were going to fall out of their sockets. 

“Is this your-” I pointed between the both of them.

“He’s my older brother.” Nate finishes my sentence, as he scratched at the back of his neck. 

My face fell even more if it was even possible.

Wait.

Nate was in his early forties to begin with, so that would make Sam…

I looked at Sam’s face intensely again, specifically at the wrinkles that were tainted across his face. Now that my brain was functioning properly, unlike last night, I noticed how many there really were. 

Great. Not only was I checking out Nathan’s BROTHER, but the man that was more than twice my age.

Fuck.

[tsukiihime]

Heartbreak (Bakugo x Reader, Shinsou x Reader)

Hey everyone! This is my first BNHA piece, something I wrote when I was bored and thought what the hey, I’ll post it! Feedback is appreciated!

Word Count: 3.4k

Pairings: Bakugo x Reader, Shinsou x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of cyberbulling, swearing, breakup, angst, just kind of a sad piece overall?

Next Chapter

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When you started dating the Explosion Hero Dynamight, you knew that you were throwing yourself to the wolves. The media is cruel and the fans even crueller - if they deem you unworthy for their Hero then you’re in for a hell of a time - and not in a good way. But you loved Bakugo - you’ve loved him more than you’ve ever loved anyone, and for two years of your life you’ve been by his side as he  climbs through the Hero charts. 

But recently, the media has been sniffing a little too close to home. Someone has tipped the tabloids off to your existence and ravenous fans have been finding your social media day after day. Your selfies on Instagram are being bombarded with hateful comments on everything ranging from your weight to your skin color to your fashion sense, while your Twitter messages are flooded with paragraph after paragraph full of venom and vitriol. You can no longer take the headlines, the hate, the disgust being dished out at you day and day out. You beg your boyfriend to do something, anything to make the media leave you alone. Which brings you to tonight - in a heated argument with the Hero Dynamight.

“All I’m saying is that if you address the media, if you tell them that I’m your girlfriend, they might back off. I can’t do this anymore Katsuki, I can’t keep waking up and seeing this shit on my feed!” You’re so angry you’re shaking, and it’s pissing you off even more that Bakugo stares at you, unblinking and unfazed, arms crossed in indifference.

“You know I can’t do that. I do that, and my ratings plunge.” Your eyes widen in disbelief as soon as those words leave his mouth, you can’t believe he even said that. 

“Are you serious Katsuki? Is beating Deku and becoming the number one hero really worth more to you than us? Than me?” Tears threatened to spill over at any moment, your fists clenching until your nails left tiny red crescents in your skin. You stared at vermilion eyes refusing to back down, waiting with trembling lips for his answer.

“You knew what you were getting into when you started dating me. I don’t know why you need so much fuckin’ reassurance that you’re different from all those other damn extras.” That sentence sends you from angry to fuckin’ pissed in less than a second. 

You jab at his chest, practically screaming: “Excuse me? When we started dating, I was promised that you’d protect me from everything, including the media. Do you see the shit they say about me Katsuki? What they say about my body, my family, my upbringing? How they call me a slut and a whore because my Instagram has ‘Toshi on it and now I’ve been spotted with you? I can’t even visit my parents because I’m afraid they’ll follow me. I can’t go and see “Toshi because they’ll shit talk me even more! And you sit there and do nothing. Say nothing. All I want is for you to tell them the truth, that we are dating and that we are a couple.” 

Now, it’s Bakugo’s turn to bite back. “And I’m sayin’ my hands are tied. They know I’m with someone, and I lose  fans. Which means, I ain’t gonna beat that damn Deku at the rankings next month.”

“Fuck the rankings Bakugo! Can you get your head out of your ass for a second?! How in the world,” you turn to go to grab your phone, pulling up the latest headline about you on the tabloid’s website, “can you let them say this about me? Don’t you at least care that I’m being attacked on the daily?” Tears fall freely from your eyes now, and Bakugo flinches for a second, but only a second. You laugh in anger, turning away from him. “I already know the answer, Katsuki. You care more about the rankings than me. I’m in the way of your dream if you say I’m with you, so let me remove myself from the equation.” You grab a jacket, an umbrella and your phone, and put on your shoes. “It’s over Katsuki. I’m done. If you won’t say that we’re together, then we shouldn’t be together.” 

You turn to leave, and a part of you hopes that he’ll follow - that he’ll grab you and hold you tight and tell you that he loves you, loves you more than the stupid rankings and that he’ll stand by you no matter what the media says.

But he doesn’t. 

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You walk a couple of blocks to another apartment building, ring the doorbell and wait for the response to come from the other side. A deep voice responds, belonging to someone who had obviously been sleeping. “Who the hell is it?”

“‘Toshi, it’s me.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? It’s raining idiot, get in here.” The doors unlock and you make your way inside. You know this building like the back of your hand, it’s the home of your best friend and your second home. You make your way to his apartment and he’s waiting for you in the hallway - purple hair tousled and messy, body heavy with sleep and dark undereye circles accentuating violet eyes as he scratches the back of his neck. It’s a tic of his, one you know well - he’s nervous.

“A fight huh?” 

“Worse. I broke it off.” Shinsou immediately tenses at the mention of this, and if you weren’t so pissed and hurt by Bakugo you would’ve laughed. 

“Shit...I’m sorry. Come in, tell me all about it.” He steps aside and lets you into his apartment, closing the door as he prepares himself to listen to you complain until the sun rises. He agrees to help you get your things when you’re ready to return, and says you can crash at his place until you find somewhere else to stay.

You return two days later, punching in the code to the apartment you and Bakugo share - well, you supposed shared was the better word. It felt so foreign, being here after everything. Memories of the last two years flooded into your mind - lazy days where you spent all day with Katsuki on the couch doing nothing but watching horrible horror flicks and laughing the night away, those early mornings that had you waking up at five o’clock in the morning to cook pancakes while the sleepy blonde wraps his arms around your waist while teasing your culinary skills. Even the late nights when schoolwork kept you awake well into the twilight hours and your exhausted body dragged itself to the bed you and he shared, breathing in the caramel scent of the man you loved as your head hits the plush pillows and you drift off to sleep. But now, all of those memories have disappeared into the wind, replaced with the fight you and Bakugo had before you had stormed out of the house that night. He’s been texting you like mad, calling you like there is no tomorrow, but you ignore his calls. He never leaves a voicemail, so you don’t know what’s on his mind.  

As the beige door swung open, you breathed a sigh of relief that Katsuki wasn’t home. You had neither the heart nor the energy to see him after all that had happened and instead resolved yourself to get all of your things before his shift ended at his agency. You spent the next hour rounding up everything you owned - books, pictures, everything that you had room to take and that you knew you wouldn’t miss if you left it behind. When you had a breather you sent a quick text to Shinsou to let him know you were almost ready to go - and took a deep breath as you entered your bedroom. No, your former bedroom now. “That’s all it is now.” you remind yourself.

You start dumping all your clothes into trash bags and gather up pictures and toiletries that belong to you as you clean up the bedroom from one end to the other. As you grab a pile and place it on the bed, an article of clothing falls that you don’t recognize. You bend over and pick it up to inspect it closer. 

You know your clothes, all of them. But this lacy lingerie set that is discarded on the floor isn’t yours, hell, it isn’t even your size. Your throat feels like sandpaper and your nose crinkles as you drop the clothes as if burned by a flame. You can’t help but stare at it as a million things run through your mind at once: whose is it? How long has it been here? Was this before or after you and Katsuki broke up? Did he already move on? The last thought is something you know you shouldn’t dwell on, it isn’t your business what he does after you’re the one that ended the relationship. You know this and yet the tears come anyways, endless and stinging without end. Your legs give out and you fall to your knees clutching your heart as sobs fall from your lips, as your emotions bounce all over the place. The molten hot anger you felt at first is now transforming into deep sadness, all the bittersweet memories racing through your mind now replaced by images of Katsuki holding another woman, another lover just like he held you. You can’t stop as your brain formulates these what if situations - what if he was waiting for you to end it so he could be with her? You start to imagine him kissing another with the same passion he held for you. You see another in your place, eating the food that he insists on making to spoil you after a long night of homework, running their fingers through his hair as he falls asleep on their lap, and seeing another wrapped in his arms as they fall asleep together under the moonlit sky.

“I can’t stay here” you whisper to yourself, desperate to stop the tears that won’t end - desperate to feel anything but this pit of agony. You’ll take numbness over this endless heartbreak, this disappointment, this feeling of self-deprecation that tells you over and over that you weren’t good enough. “I-”

The door opens and you hear Shinsou’s voice behind you, calling your name and making his way through the hallway at the front of the apartment. “You didn’t answer my texts so I came up to check on you and-” The purple haired man freezes when he sees you, sitting on the floor with your head in your hands, sobbing uncontrollably as a waterfall of tears spill from your eyes dripping onto your fingers. You can no longer hold back your sobs as everything comes to a head - your insecurities, the hateful comments left on your social media, Katsuki’s own dismissal of your feelings as you two fought that night two days ago. Shinsou immediately drops to his knees in front of you, wrapping his arms around your frame and holding you close. “It’s okay...let it out.” You peer up at him from tear filled eyes, lunging at him to wrap your arms around his neck as you bury your face in his chest. 

“Hitoshi…” is all you’re able to say before another sob wracks your body, tears staining your cheeks and dampening Shinsou’s hoodie. You try desperately to explain why you’re crying, and why you’re so upset but you can’t find the words as your tongue feels heavy like a bunch of bricks. Indigo eyes drift to the underwear discarded behind you, anger seething in his veins as he puts two and two together. 

“Bakugo, you fucking tool.” He thinks to himself as he holds you, letting you cry out what you can’t tell him but he knows. He knows you better than anyone, just as you know him better than anyone. He remembers the vibrant little girl he met on the playground all those years ago, who spoke to him without a care even with his “villainous” quirk. He remembers your ecstatic scream as he calls you to let you know that he was able to get into the Hero Course at U.A, and he remembers you celebrating his acceptance at getting into a Hero Agency by getting blackout drunk and waking up with you in snuggled in his arms as you wear his favorite hoodie. He remembers being the one to introduce you to Bakugo at a Hero Ranking after party when you accompanied him as his plus one. He remembers how breathtaking you looked that night - an obsidian dress that hugged your figure closely, long legs accentuated by black stilettos and your plush lips painted in a ruby red hue. He remembers being the man of the hour, the hero Mindjack accompanied by a beauty on his arm, the envy of the venue. He remembers dancing with you, his most beloved childhood friend, his most precious person. He remembers watching you stride to the bar, smiling as you greet the bartender with glee and and he remembers watching you bump into Bakugo as you apologize quickly to the blonde before making your way back to him. He also remembers Bakugo following you to him, prompting him to introduce you to the man who would eventually become your boyfriend.

“If only you hadn’t bumped into him that night”, Shinsou thinks to himself, “Katsuki Bakugo, I’m going to give you a piece of my mind when I see you next.” How helpless he feels watching you cry as your heart shatters into a million pieces, how powerless he feels as he holds you tighter than he’s ever held anyone before. “C’mon, let’s get you home. I’ll take what I can and I’ll get the rest another day.” he smiles as he looks at you, giving you a small grin that he hopes makes you feel a bit better. “Don’t worry, I grabbed your Switch and your laptop, so the lazy girl hours can still happen” you punch him in the shoulder playfully as you wipe tears away on your sleeve, pouting as you roll your eyes at his lazy jokes before he continues, “and I’ll send Bakugo a text on what’s happening. You won’t have to deal with him. I promise.” It doesn’t escape his notice how you tense up when he says Bakugo, but the small smile you give at his joke makes him feel just a bit better. You stand up and press your lips to his forehead, tippy toeing to reach. “Thanks ‘Toshi. I really appreciate it, truly.” 

“Anything for my Animal Crossing buddy.” You cross your arms and give him a questioning look, eliciting a chuckle from the taller male. “I’m jus’ kiddin’. You know I’d do anything for you. And your Switch.” You laugh as you turn to grab your boxes and make your way to the front of the apartment, the lingerie that had shattered your world moments ago momentarily forgotten in the corner of you and Bakugo’s bedroom. “It’s only Bakugo’s now” you remind yourself as you walk out into the living room, “this place belongs to Bakugo only.” You take one last look at your home for the last ten months, and quickly turn on your heels to make your way to the elevator with your entire life packed into a few boxes. A small sense of regret lingers in you, but you quickly shove that aside to stop yourself from crying some more. Shinsou grabs the rest of the boxes left on the table, and places your key to the apartment on the counter next to a picture frame with the glass faced down. He then turns and follows you out the door to his car.

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The next few nights are the hardest - Shinsou’s apartment only has one bedroom, one bathroom and the living room which means you’re on the couch until you find your own place. You’ve known Shinsou since childhood and you wouldn’t mind sharing a bed but you’re so distraught from your discovery in Bakugo’s room that you want to be alone to cry it out if you need to - you already feel like a burden to Shinsou despite his protests against the idea. He’s not home tonight - on patrol around the city as you sit in the living room wrapped in a blanket and wearing his favorite hoodie. You flip through the channels and stumble across the Hero Rankings red carpet. It’s been ages since Hitoshi attended one, becoming more of an “underground hero” and avoiding the spotlight if possible. In fact, the only time he attended one was with you around the time you met Bakugo. You cringe at the thought of him, trying quickly to remove him from your mind. The rational part of your mind wants to change the channel, to watch those documentaries you love so much and wait until Shinsou gets back home but you don’t. Instead, you decide to remain on this channel, watching as heroes come and go on the red carpet with their dates and hear the host gush about each one’s accomplishments. This is torture, you know Bakugo will appear since he’s the number four Hero, you know he’ll be there and yet like a train wreck, you can’t look away. Maybe you’re curious as to what he’s up to, or maybe you want to see if he looks as miserable as you know you do. In any case, you wait with baited breath to see a pair of scarlet eyes and ash blonde hair to satiate your curiosity. A flash of green catches your attention and you see Izuku Midoriya appear on screen in front of you. Deku is the number three Hero and on his arm is his girlfriend Uraraka, another Hero ranked at number seven. You’ve met the both of them at parties you attend with Bakugo - they both received a lot of hate from “fans'' when they announced they were dating, but the love they exuded for each other made the media change their tune really fast. They truly adored one another and didn’t care if their ratings took a dive. You had wished Bakugo would do that for you, but you weren’t a Hero and you didn’t have an impressive quirk, so his agency decided that it would be better for his ratings if he kept you a secret and he agreed. At first, you didn’t mind but the comments on social media and the tabloids made you feel as if he wasn’t yours at all - instead all you felt was that he was ashamed of you. 

Then you see him. You grip the remote so hard it almost hurts, but you keep on looking anyway. There stands the number four Hero Katsuki Bakugo, wearing a red and black suit and looking as he always does - confident to the point of arrogance, a grumpy face that makes him unapproachable, arms crossed in annoyance. The cameras go off flash after flash, and the announcer goes over his stats - how many people he’s saved, his amount of solved cases, so on and so forth. You smile at his ranking, he’s gone from eleven to four in such a short amount of time, and you know he has his determination to thank for that. He works hard, that you can’t deny. 

Then you see her. You recognize her, from the tabloids and the makeup commercials. The Illusion Hero, Maboromicamie. She’s tall, beautiful, and has a gorgeous figure as well as a comfy place ranked as the number ten Hero. Her arm is linked with Bakugo’s, and he has an arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close for the photoshoot. The announcer raises their voice in excitement, as a headline appears on your TV: “Dynamight and Maboromicamie an item? Seen together getting close at the awards ceremony!”

You shut off the TV and close your eyes. What were you expecting? Why did you do that? You can’t help the tears that escape, but they do. There you sit, alone in the apartment with the image of those two stuck in your head, burned into your memory. When Shinsou gets home, he says nothing and you’re grateful for it - you know he’s seen the ceremony and he knows you well enough to know that you’ve seen it too. Instead, he showers, lays down next to you, and holds you close as you cry quietly into his arms.

[rrickgrrimes8]

Normality is Death

Chapter Nine ~ The C.D.C.

masterlist

Jacey felt as if time had stopped or at least as if she had lost consciousness at some point, which she could've for all she knew. Somehow her brain switched on and her body was finding its way back to her dad's camp. Nothing felt real to her anymore, she could feel the tears drip from her eyes and the blood run down her cheeks, but nothing could change her mind of the image of the dead girl that was in her arms merely 20 minutes ago. 

Twigs broke underneath her boots, adding to the noise of the sobs falling from her mouth. She wished for it to be just a nightmare something she'd wake up from soon, but it was all too real the feeling of Addie's blood on her skin, the image of Mitch embroidered in her memory. 

Before she even knew it, she walked into the busy camp she was in earlier that day. Unaware of her presence, the group paced aimlessly making sure they had everything ready for their departure. 

"Holy shit," Eyes snapped in her direction at Shane's exclamation. Suddenly all at once, she felt self-conscious of how she must look caked in blood belonging to someone else even if it was around a group of strangers. 

"Jacey, oh my..." Her father shouted as their eyes met. 

"Y-you," She pointed weakly at him anger filling her vision. 

"Are you okay? What happened?" Concerned questions bombarded her as Rick finally reached her. 

"It was you." 

"What? What was me, angel? You're not making sense," Rick brought his hand to her cheek, but the moment it made contact, she smacked it away. 

"It's your fault!" The camp looked to her, stunned, "It was you! It was your fucking fault! They're dead because of you!" Eyes bounced from the daughter and father, no one quite understanding what was happening. "You were that fucking idiot in the tank! You're the one that led them to us!" 

Finally, to some, it made some sort of sense, although not much, as everyone continued to watch shamelessly. "You killed them all! You took her away from me!" This time not only did Rick feel the pain of what Jacey was saying to him he felt the punches her hands threw at him. Shane ran over to the pair, pulling Jacey away from her father as if she was some sort of animal, "It was you! You did this!" She collapsed against Shane his arms shielding her and offering a small amount of comfort. 

Rick remained stunned unable to quite comprehend what had just happened between his daughter and himself. He wanted more than anything to take her from Shane, to be the one protecting and consoling her but he knew that that was the opposite of what she would want. 

Lori watched the scene unfold from behind them, her arm holding Carl close, tears falling freely. "I hate you! I hate you so much! You did this!" Carl brought his hands over his ears, struggling to hear his sister, his best friend, saying this to their dad. 

Rick studied her movements, how she fought against Shane's arms, how she screamed and cursed him out. He felt the tears blur his vision, watching Shane take her away, still screaming that she hated him. Lori's hand caressed his cheek, alarming him as he hadn't noticed her presence til now, "It's okay, baby. Just breathe."

~

Jacey looked into the rustic mirror daring to ignore the blood that drenched her head to toe, her blood, the blood of the girl she loved, the blood of a man she respected so deeply, the blood of everyone that had helped her in these past months. The sobs continued as she pressed herself against the wall of the small room. She was still in shock, somehow, she couldn't believe they were gone and that they weren't coming back ever. 

The anger towards her father remained yet still came as a surprise to her. She hadn't planned to erupt on him in such away. Hell, she didn't realise she had begun to blame him for what happened until she saw his face. It scared her really, her anger. She would've killed him right then and there if Shane hadn't intervened and that hadn't quite settled inside of her yet. The fact she was willing to kill her father for Addie, even though she could admit it would do nothing, yet parts of her still wished she could. 

They had left camp for the C.D.C awhile before, perhaps an hour or so but within that hour they had already lost Jim, or she assumed they had. The group had stopped the car at Jim's request, they brought him out, and the rest of them came back without him moments later. Jacqui seemed most affected by it, that much Jacey could tell and if it was any other day she'd offer her some support and sympathy but not now, not when she felt like this. Not when she felt so beaten and weak. Not when her whole world had just abandoned her. 

She pushed herself out of the bathroom, not remembering exactly why she went in there, to begin with. Her movement was slow as she left, eyes fell on her as soon as she exited as well - they heard me she concluded. It wasn't a secret about her heartbreak however vague she had put it, and it certainly was painfully obvious, that they had questions on what had happened and how she could say the stuff she did to Rick, to her father. And she feared for the time when they would ask as she wouldn't be able to bring herself to answer. 

"You okay?" Glenn's voice asked her. He knew it was helpless to ask, but he had to as although he knew both of the girls for such a short amount of time they still meant something to him - now even without Addie's existence. 

Jacey didn't respond, in fact, she hadn't said anything since she saw her father, which made the concern for her grow further but she couldn't care less for that. Her mind only thought of Addie now. 

Sitting down became more of a struggle then she'd like to admit, searing pain in her back became apparent immediately, and she guessed she was yet to notice it as everything was happening so quickly. Jacey hissed softly as her spine made contact with the uncomfortable seat. 

Jacqui looked at the young girl concerned despite having just met her, "Are you okay, sweetheart?" The younger girl looked to her kindly, having taken a liking to the older one. Still, the girl made no response except a small nod, which Jacqui hoped she would be given more but was happy with the tiny form of communication. 

The RV came to a slow, all of a sudden, Dale signalling to them that they had arrived. Jacqui looked outside the window unnerved by its derelict state, while Glenn and Dale looked pleased to finally be there. They exited soon thereafter, and for the first time Jacey finally took in her surroundings. 

Abandoned cars littered the environment. Some of them held grotesque and decayed bodies of people, who perhaps had the same idea they had. And she could hardly distinguish between the smell of the rotting corpses that coated the streets and herself. 

The girl stayed, strictly, behind Glenn, ignoring the saddened stare of her father and the strain such little movement put on her injury. She knew she'd have to face him eventually, but she'd do everything in her power to stop that from happening soon. Rick led the group carefully through the almost gothic display. 

"All right, everyone. Keep moving. Go on," Shane directed them, "let's go. Okay, keep moving. Stay together." Jacey came at once entranced by the picture playing out in front of her. The large, oddly shaped building seemed so much more peculiar now seeing it in person. Growing up she'd seen pictures, in fact, she was meant to go on a school trip there that fall, for her biology class. At a time, she looked forward to it as biology was always a favourite for her, but she'd now allow herself to settle for this visit now. 

Slight murmurs travelled through the group followed by a small hush as they finally reached the entrance. Rick stood hopefully in front, looking for any sign of life as the rest of them began to panic by the approaching walkers. 

Jacey looked over towards her brother, who she had yet to reunite with, and noticed how her mother became preoccupied with something else, leaving him slightly behind. The girl felt a wave of sudden anger for the woman that mixed with a protectiveness for her only brother, at her irresponsibility. 

Jacey stepped towards him, grasping his hand and offering a fake smile that Carl felt seemed empty but understood it was all she could muster. Carl buried his head into her chest immediately, looking at the blood that bathed her but concluded that it didn't bother him. Jacey welcomed the affection and held him closer to her wanting to take her mind off the current panic. 

Daryl, who surprisingly became another leader to the group, shot a nearby walker in the head sending off a new fear through the group, "You led us into a graveyard." 

Shane looked at Daryl unenthusiastically, "He made a call." 

"It was the wrong damn call!" He asserted, earning some attention from some wandering dead. 

"Just shut up. You hear? Shut up. Shut up!" Shane argued before turning to Rick, "This is a dead-end, Rick." 

"Where are we gonna go?" Carol inquired, holding tightly to Sophia. 

"Fort-Benning, Rick... Still an option," Shane proposed once more. 

Panic settled into Carl suddenly - he didn't want to die, he didn't want his family to die. Jacey felt his form began to shake slightly, bringing her attention over to him. 

Offering no words of comfort, Jacey picked her little brother up, ignoring that his added weight along with her backpack made the pain in her back sky-rocket, and held him closer towards her, letting him cry into her neck. 

The blonde woman, Andrea, contradicted, "On what? No food, no fuel. That's 100 miles." 

"125," Glenn corrected unhelpfully, "I checked the map." 

"Forget Fort Benning. We need answers tonight, now," Lori ordered briefly looking towards her two children and then back to her husband. 

"We'll think of something," Rick responded still hopeful. Rick backed away from the shutters reluctantly, his gun in arms, overlooking the stares of his irritated wife. 

He looked over at Jacey, noticing the presence of his other child in her arms, and she noticed the guilt boring into her. He wanted to be able to protect her more than anything. He had hurt her sufficiently, and now all he wanted to do was keep her safe and he truly believed that would only be possible through the C.D.C. Shane began to escort the group away, Rick looked back towards the security camera, it moving an inch as he did. 

"The camera... it moved," He spoke confidently stopping the whole group. 

"You imagined it," Dale insisted, but Rick shook his head moving closer. 

"Rick, it is dead, man. It's an automated device. It's gears, okay? They're just winding down. Now come on," Shane attempted to convince him, "Man, just listen to me. Look around this place. It's dead, okay? It's dead. You need to let it go, Rick." 

Angrily, Rick slammed his hands against the shutter, which brought Jacey and Carl further on edge. "Rick, there's nobody in there!" Lori tried. 

"I know you're in there. I know you can hear me," The father shouted directly into the camera. Shane and Lori pushed against the man striving for him to get his shit together and leave. "Please, we're desperate. Please help us," He looked from the camera back to the trembling image of his children, "We have women, children, no food, hardly any gas left." 

The building remained unmoving encouraging Jacey to let a staggered fearful breath out. "Rick, there's nobody there, please," She said to him teary-eyed. 

"We have nowhere else to go," He continued, banging against the metal shutters, "If you don't let us in, you're killing us! Please!" 

"Come on, buddy, let's go." 

"Please help us. You're killing us! You're killing us!" He repeated pushing against Shane, who was pulling him away along with the rest of them. Rick hit the shutter once more before turning away and leading his wife and children away. Jacey was the first to turn around as a bright almost blinding light emerged out of the C.D.C, a hope for a new tomorrow.

[superheroesofbothuniverses]

Natasha Gets All The Hot Guys

“Really, Natasha? You’ve added Bucky to your harem now? Why do you have to hog all the hot guys?”

Darcy griped at Black Widow as she sat across from her at the large dining table, plopping her fork down with a disgruntled air. The brand new poly four had just told the other avengers about their status and Thor had told Darcy, whose fan girl hopes and dreams were now crushed. 

“It’s not a harem, Darcy, but thank you for the mental image,” Natasha replied calmly, adding a smug wink. “Besides: you snooze, you lose.” 

They both watched as Bucky sauntered over and joined Nat, his plate groaning under the mountain of food. 

“What’s with the long face, Darce?” He asked, going to town on his steak. The blissful expression on his face made her smile in spite of herself. 

“I’m just bitter that Nat keeps snapping up all the hot dudes. Leave some for us science types. We need love too, ya know.” 

She made a pouty face at him and he chuckled.

“Sorry, doll,” he said sympathetically. “We all kind of lost touch with the rest of you and things kind of…..fell into place. Heard you’ve been busy getting your PhD. Probably didn’t leave you much time for finding a man.”

Darcy smiled. 

“Yeah, that’s true,” she admitted. “But I really am happy for you all. Steve looks ridiculously happy and it’s adorable. And you and Sam flirting in the gym? Hilarious.”

She rubbed her hands together gleefully.

Bucky raised his eyebrows.

“You been spying, Darce? I’ve never seen you in the gym.”

Darcy grinned evilly.

“I will not reveal my sources.” 

Bucky gave her an exasperated look, but he was smiling. 

“You always were a little shit, Lewis. Seems that nothing has changed.” 

“Nope!” she declared cheerfully. “Someone’s gotta keep you heroes on your toes. I’m grateful they invited me to this shindig. The food is top notch.”

It was basically a glorified reunion and celebration over the abolishment of the Accords. In the beginning, they’d seemed like a good idea to some of them, but after the bitter fall out of their fights and the subsequent reality of just how problematic the Accords actually were, well, no one wanted anything to do with them. Darcy had never trusted anyone named Ross and wasn’t about to start now. 

She pushed her empty plate away from her with a satisfied sigh.

“Well, I’m gonna go bother Captain Spangles for a few minutes. Enjoy your red meat.”

Getting up from the table, she sauntered over to Steve who was chatting happily with Sam, Scott, and Wanda. 

Bucky returned to his meal with relish, only stopping when he’d demolished everything on his plate. Nat had scooted her chair closer to his and was leaning against him contentedly, caressing his metal arm. 

“You know, James, I’m thinking I know of a “hot guy” that would be an interesting match for Darcy.” 

“Do you now?” Bucky asked, smirking at the idea of Nat matchmaking again. Her skill set made her very good at finding potential dates for other people and he’d learned to just roll with it. 

“Yep. He was pretty insufferable and immature back in the day, but the last time I worked with him, he seemed to have grown up a lot. He would give Darcy a run for her money, I believe.”

“Do I know him?” Bucky asked curiously, wracking his brain.

“You know him as Flame Boy,” she told him, grinning at Bucky’s expression as he understood who she meant. They’d met the Fantastic Four briefly and Clint’s old nickname for Johnny had stuck, much to the man’s displeasure. 

“Oh man,” he chuckled. “This is gonna be good.” 

Two weeks later, Darcy was hiding from yet another alien invasion and being frustrated that her taser did not affect the creatures. 

“Please tell me you’re sending help!” She yelled into her phone to Clint.

“We are, but it’s not who you might expect. Stark had to call in extra help, because these things are multiplying really fast.”

“Just tell me who it is!” She snapped impatiently, braining an alien lizard thing with a brick. The creatures weren’t all that bright, but there were a LOT of them. 

“The Human Torch, aka Flame Boy,  is gonna zoom by in a minute and take you to to the tower.”

“Human Torch? What kind of dumb name is that?” Darcy scoffed. Clint had already hung up, so she returned to her attempts to not get eaten. Another five lizard things surrounded her and she almost groaned in despair. Just as she had resigned herself to being lizard chow, a car screeched to a stop and a ball of fire flew overhead and right at the creatures, bombarding them with flames and sending them screeching away, howling in pain. She gaped in awe as the ball of fire landed a few yards away and revealed itself as a man wearing a tight fireproof suit. As the flames died away, she stared in shock at the smiling face of Johnny Storm himself. 

“Dr. Lewis?” he asked. “I’m here with your ride.”

He gestured towards a very shiny bright yellow Lamborghini and Darcy felt a touch faint. 

“You’re the Human Torch?” she asked cautiously. 

“Yep.”  He confirmed, with a nod and smile that reminded her a lot of Steve Rogers. “I’d suggest we get out of here before more of those things show up. Like my chariot?”

“It’s pretty sweet, I admit,” Darcy said as he unlocked the doors and opened hers for her.

“Ohh. A gentleman.” She said teasingly. “Didn’t know you had it in you, Mr. Serial Seducer.” 

She had heard tales of Johnny’s bedroom exploits, but had never heard his superhero moniker. It definitely made sense, now. 

Johnny’s face turned red, but he took the jibe in stride. 

“Occasionally, I have my moments,” he said, giving her a smirk as he started the car and got them the heck out of there. 

“So, Astrophysics?” He asked her as he took a shortcut down a side street to avoid a blocked off street chocked with lizard things. Thy looked a lot like the Gorns from Star Trek, Darcy thought with a shudder.

“Yes.” She nodded proudly. “I’m surprised you knew that.”

“A certain distant cousin of mine thinks of you very highly and made sure I was properly briefed,” Johnny said. “There may have been threats of bodily harm if I said something inappropriate.”

Darcy leaned her head back and laughed until her sides ached. Well known playboy Johnny was related to straight laced Steve Rogers? The universe sure did have a sense of humor. She imagined Steve threatening Johnny and wheezed as tears of mirth streamed down her cheeks. 

“Well, I can very much see the family resemblance,” she giggled. “Looks only, though. Oh, my gosh, this is the best.” 

“I’m glad you think so.” Johnny said with a reluctant chuckle. His annoyance at yet another comparison to Rogers was dampened by how adorable her laugh was. He thought he could listen to that for hours. 

“Steve said you’d taze me in the balls if I said something gross.”

“He was right, bless him,” Darcy said, appreciating Steve even more. “But seriously, that flame ball was awesome.”

“It comes in handy sometimes,” Johnny said with surprising modesty. Darcy looked him over again and wondered if the years had toned him down from the egotistical kid he’d once been. It was a good look on him, she thought. 

“Steve failed to mention just how pretty you are,” Johnny said after a few beats of silence. “Does the man have eyes?”

“He does, but only for a certain fly boy and two deadly assassins,” Darcy said, laughing and blushing a bit at the compliment. 

Johnny’s eyebrows flew up.

“Wow, Cap’s got game! But he must care about his friends, too or he wouldn’t get so protective over you.”

“He’s a good dude,” Darcy agreed, as the car pulled into the tower parking area. Security was tight, but Darcy flashed her ID and soon they were parking. 

Johnny got out and once again opened the door for her.

“Well, hopefully we’ll run into each other again,” he said, trying to sound casual. Darcy got the sense he was very interested, but reining himself in. It was rather cute. 

“Maybe we will, Preferably when there’s no lizard aliens trying to eat us,” she replied. “Stark’s got a big charity gala coming up and I may be there.”

He broke out in a grin and nodded.

“Good to know. Stay safe, Doctor. I’m gonna go scorch some more lizards.”

“Don’t get dead, flame boy!” She called over her shoulder as she turned away. Surprisingly, Darcy looked forward to getting to know what made Johnny Storm tick. Maybe her luck had finally changed. If he turned out to be a keeper, she was not gonna let Nat snatch him up, no sireee. 

[lilaacstars]

      you’re in my veins (and i can’t get you out).

                           rating: T | words: 31.227 | pt 2.

                                   read it on ao3

He watches how her eyes grow big after listening to his offer. His eyes fix on her and start to notice the bruises she has close to her scalp, down to her ear, the edge of her jaw and on the visible part of her neck. Her bangs are falling gracefully to the side - too  gracefully- but he can take a peek, with the little cat senses he still has left, and see that underneath that perfect hairstyle there are stitches and missing hair.

He gulps, almost choking on his saliva, it feels thick and heavy and his throat has closed, impeding his ability to breathe, but he hasn’t stopped so his body trembles, and it is like he will puke, but there’s only the acid on his stomach, and it goes up as if it was a bubbly chemical reaction, but his throat is still closed, and he just feels as if his whole body will shut down but it’s too awake at the vision of her. And then the sensations pile up, then crumble down, then pile up again, and it’s a cycle of obscure overwhelming emotions that trigger and stop every reaction his body pulls. 

It is disgusting, nauseating, gory even.  

Upclose, face to face, breathing the same air, the consequences are not an image fabricated by his brain anymore, and yet, he knows there are so many more hidden marks of treachery that will present itself in flesh and pain.  

Her lips tremble and her sight finally fixes on his, only to look away a second after. 

However, she leans forward, closer to the window. 

Adrien takes one step back and that allows Ladybug to come inside the room. 

Her steps are careful and light as if she is ready to jump back to the window and run away from here at any given moment. Adrien is sure that it isn't a baseless guess, but what is truly going through her mind is still a cypher. 

After standing in the middle of the room and eyeing everywhere around, she finally walks back to stand beside the coffee table and lets out a long sigh. 

Next, Ladybug stands close to the window, only giving little steps in a small space. She takes the end of her long braid and starts playing with the end. 

He looks at her, hands on his pockets as he fidgets and waits for her to speak, for her to guide him where she needs to be.  

“It’s good to see you,” Adrien whispers and takes one step forward.

Ladybug crooks a brow and tightly hugs herself. She doesn’t answer. 

“You haven’t been out as Lady Noire in a long time. Is there a reason?” He asks, trying to sound as ignorant as a civilian would be. 

Ladybug lets out an amused scoff but there’s no real joy behind it. 

Her eyes are focused on the skyline and a thin layer of gleaming tears is set on her eyes.

Adrien gulps, unsure if the reaction has something to do with him or is all about the thoughts she’s been carrying through her night stroll. 

The question wouldn’t be an unusual one for a mere civilian. Maybe they wouldn’t be so eager to jump into it, maybe they would ask other questions first, but he was not a mere civilian… well, he was now, but there had been a time where he wasn’t.

No. 

He still isn’t a mere character walking down the road. He will never be, and yet that is the path he must pretend to follow. 

“This was a mistake,” He hears the whisper as loud as a siren. 

He jolts on his spot and takes fast steps towards her. It only makes her jump faster towards the window. 

“I- I’m-”

But before he can formulate a phrase on his mind for his mouth to stop the stammering, she is gone. 

His eyes follow as she is only a ship in the night between the sea of city lights. 

She is gone. 

Gone. 

Gone.

Gone. 

Gone.

Gone. 

Gone forever. 

But is she? 

She is not truly gone. She is alive, and she is patrolling, and Paris has their heroine back. 

But he doesn’t. 

He doesn’t have a partner, he doesn’t have a friend, he doesn’t have his other half. 

He is a broken piece of a human that once felt he finally had the piece that could make him endure life, and now she is gone. 

Not  truly , but he has been left alone with her shadow roaming through the brightest corners of the life of others, yet creeping on the back of his mind, only smiling on his memories, and frowning and avoiding his gaze into the future. 

His breath stops once again. One little detail striking like lightning. 

She avoided his gaze as if he was a deathly disease. 

Could… could she know who he was? 

Marinette seems to be aware that he once was something special; someone  special. And Ladybug is as smart as her, if not more. 

But if she knows, then she wouldn’t have come. If she hates him so much that she couldn’t even bear for him to touch her when she needed someone to lean on (not in the figurative sense) then why would she seek for him? Why would she come to him? 

It doesn’t make any sense and yet he can’t shake the thought out of his mind. 

And it stays there, like a fly on the wall. As the days pass he will forget about it, and then the buzz of the wings will echo in the chamber of his mind and then it would be the only thing he can focus on. 

Not school. 

Not Kagami.

Not his friends.

Not Nathalie.

Not his father who finally makes time to have dinner with him.

Nothing at all.

Nothing but her and the knowledge she might have. 

The wonder wouldn’t even pretend to hide when the sunset, it would make itself appear in other shapes through dreams. Some of them are tranquil, others are as bitter as reality can be, and yet the bittersweets are the worst. They show the road not taken, they show him taking good decisions after the terrible ones he’s taken, and reward him with what he has always wanted, the unravelling of the secret. Every day he wakes up and knows that he does not deserve any of it, that this can’t happen and that if it does happen he has to make sure he does not gain any redemption from it. And every day he wakes up knowing not only that he has broken every piece of her soul, but also has put her in imminent danger. 

When she left he could see her limp, he could see how he prefered a certain grab on the yo-yo, and how short her jumps were in comparison to her usual ones. 

There is nothing he can do to make it right, he’s already brought destruction to them, but if he could find a way to protect her, he wouldn’t think it twice.  

 xx

 He is sitting right next to Luka on the café table, as Nino looked for an empty chair he could use, he scribbled on a napkin. 

They were waiting for their order to come, only one glass full of fresh water in front of each, and sugar and a plate of napkins in the middle of the round table. 

Luka had his phone out, scrolling through, and tapping his foot against the pavement in a comforting rhythm. 

This 

“Sorry, I found a chair inside almost immediately, but I got bombarded by messages from Lya.”

Luka and Adrien giggled, the first more enthusiastic than the second, but that wasn’t a rare occurrence anymore, so there was no comment about it. 

“How many of those texts were pictures?” Luka asks. 

“Oh, half of those. She’s so excited that LB is back.”

Adrien stops drawing and looks towards Nino, watching his phone as Luka takes a look through the pictures.

“Ladybug was out?” He asks, pretending to not be incredibly interested. Even if after his breakdown in school he doesn’t think he can get away with it. 

“Yeah, there was an akuma attack like an hour and a half ago?” Nino asks and Luka nods at him, “Don’t you have your alarm on?”

“No.” It was too painful to hear the akuma emergency line going off and not being able to do anything. 

“Why not? You have to, you’re going to put yourself in danger.

His mouth opens and closes before he can show how uninterested he is in his safety. If he can stumble through the path of an akuma, he might see Ladybug, and no matter how many bruises, cuts, or blood he might lose on the way, all that pain would be worth it.

“It just stresses me out.” He lies, realizing his friends are expecting an answer, “Was she alone?” He can’t help but ask.

The shadow that crosses his friend’s eyes doesn’t startle him. He’s grown accustomed to this reaction. 

“Yes.” They nod. 

They seem to be interested in continuing this conversation, but Adrien has the call on it, and he doesn’t want any of it. They can’t know how personal it is for him, they can’t know that knowing that she is out there alone makes him feel as if he was cut in half. 

“What were you looking for in your phone?” He says, turning his head to Luka, “You looked consumed by your phone.”

“A bike.” He gives a toothy smile. 

“You already have one,” Nino says confused. 

“I think he means a motorcycle,” Adrien smiles. 

“Yes.”

“That’s so awesome,” Adrien chimes, “I have a license for it. My father doesn’t know, of course, but once I’m out of the house I’m buying one bike for myself too. Which ones have you seen?”

And Luka pulls out his phone again, showing the different models he has his eye on. 

Adrien is glad that the subject takes a lot of the conversation. As their food and coffees arrive, they’re still talking about the prices, the equipment, the special license he has to have, and how Juleka isn’t very fond of him buying “such a dangerous vehicle”.

“She wants me to buy a car, I’ve tried to let her see that a car doesn’t go with my style.”

“It would be more comfortable for you to carry around your instruments.”

“Yes, but a car will never be cooler than a bike. Also,” He changes the website to a new one, “Look at these amazing suits and helmets.” Nino and Adrien move their chairs closer to Luka to get a better look. 

There are different jackets and trousers to suit up for the cold, or not burn yourself with the pipes of the bikes (apparently this wasn’t a rare thing), there are others that only had the objective of making you look while riding. Adrien could understand that sometimes having a cool suit just made things better. 

When Luka changes to the helmets, there is one that catches Adrien’s attention. 

Is black and matte, with neon green accents around the shield, and all around the curve, as if it was stitched. 

“Wow,” He hears himself gasp. 

“I liked that one too!” Luka jumps, “But I think I will look like an astronaut, also I don’t think black is my colour.”

“It is mine.”

Nino and Luka laugh.

“When have you ever worn black?” Nino asks and gives him a shake as he hugs him, “I think I’ve seen you only wear it on photoshoots, and you always look so awkward.”

“I look fantastic in black.” Adrien protests, but not truly caring about making a better comeback. 

His mind is too busy planning something else. 

keep reading in ao3.

xx

[when-he-writes-stuff]

Feels Like Home

fandom: teen wolf

pairing: sterek

word count: 4840

notes: a ko-fi commission for @ice-mage based on this image and i loved writing this so much! laura hale is one of my favorites.

It started when Derek went to buy coffee. 

To be fair, he hadn’t gone out into the public that morning expecting to be attacked. He’d gone out because of his sister’s insistence and because he knew she wouldn’t get off his back until he got her a proper cup of coffee. It wasn’t his fault their machine was broken during the move.

The point was, Derek hadn’t gone out in public that morning expecting to be attacked. That was completely uncalled for.

Okay, he wasn’t attacked, exactly. He was sort of attacked. He was attacked by the sudden scent of cinnamon and autumn leaves, which struck him so hard he ended up tripping over his own feet and nearly face-planting to the sidewalk.

And he probably would have if someone hadn’t caught him by the arms. Not just someone. The someone— the boy—who smelled so strongly like spices and fall that Derek had a mini heart attack and yanked back like he’d been burned. The boy squeaked in surprise at Derek’s sudden movements, stumbling back too.

“Dude, dude, I’m sorry, geez! Please don’t have a stroke on me, I’d really hate it if you had a heart attack on me. I promise, I usually watch where I’m going but my phone buzzed and it was my dad saying he had pizza and I got distracted and—”

Derek stared at the kid. He was still rambling and gesturing wildly around like that was somehow going to help his explanation. For a moment, Derek really didn’t know how to react.

Then he shook himself out of his head and realized that something was very wrong. The kid continued to rant, people continued to pass them by on the sidewalk, but Derek couldn’t smell anyone but him. The boy, the kid, the amber-eyed idiot who didn’t look any older than twenty, at most. His scent hit Derek like a tidal wave over and over again and as Derek realized something was wrong, he also realized what.

That’s when the panic attack started.

“Oh my god,” the kid said, finally cutting off with his rant. “Oh my god, I’ve broken you, haven’t I? Are you going to press charges? Are you going to punch me? Oh my god, are you going to call my dad?”

Derek blinked a few times, staring at him. It took him a long moment to regain the ability to form words. “Your dad?”

“... The Sheriff,” the kid said. Then he cursed. “I shouldn’t have said that should I? Now you know who I am. Wait, how did you not know who I am?”

Derek still didn’t know who he was. He didn’t realize he was supposed to. He just continued staring until the boy was shifting nervously and his teeth sunk down to chew on his lower lip. The red hoodie the kid wore was a little too small and his hair stuck up in all directions. He looked like he’d just rolled out of bed. That really shouldn’t have made Derek’s stomach clench so hard.

“Well then,” the boy said. “Seeing as you’re not injured, not broken, and not, um, talking, I’m going to make my exit now. It was terrifying to meet you!”

“Wait,” Derek said, the word spilling out before he could stop it. The kid froze and stared at him and Derek suddenly felt his face turn hot. “What is your name?”

The boy’s already pale face paled anymore. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and chuckled, before deflating. “Stiles.”

“Stiles?”

“Stiles Stilinski. The Sheriff’s kid?”

Derek hadn’t been back in Beacon Hills long enough to know who the current Sheriff’s kid was. So he only nodded dumbly and Stiles offered one last nervous smile before turning around. He all but raced away from Derek and the scent of cinnamon and autumn slowly faded with him.

Derek stood there for another few minutes. People passed him and stared, but he continued to gaze in the direction that Stiles had gone. His brain wasn’t working properly. Something was wrong.

Derek felt drunk. Which was odd, because he’d only been drunk twice in his entire life. But he felt like he’d just consumed the strongest alcohol laced with the strongest wolfsbane and everything around him was moving slowly.

Stiles. It was a ridiculously stupid name, Derek thought. And the kid had a ridiculously stupid face. Stiles. Derek had no doubts.

Stiles Stilinski was his mate.

- -

Derek didn’t actually get coffee. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he forgot, wandering all the way back to the apartment he and Laura rented out before he realized he’d come back empty-handed.

Laura didn’t seem too impressed.

“One job, Derek,” she said, frowning at his empty hands. “You had one job.”

Derek gazed blankly at her. Laura’s frown turned concerned.

“Okay, Der, what’s wrong with you? You look… grumpier than usual. I know you didn’t want to come back here, but I swear to god if you start complaining again—”

“Stiles Stilinski,” Derek said, cutting her off. “His name is Stiles Stilinski.”

Laura’s jaw snapped closed and her green eyes flared with interest. Derek moved over and dropped down onto the couch, before burying his face in his hands and shaking his head.

“Laura, what kind of name is Stiles Stilinski?”

“Okay,” Laura said, moving over and sinking down next to him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. What the hell is a Stiles?”

“I don’t know,” Derek said. “I think he’s an idiot.”

“He’s a human?”

“He’s my mate.”

Laura froze, her hand resting on the middle of Derek’s back. Derek could’ve sworn he felt the tips of claws and he resisted the urge to whine and flash his throat. When he lifted his head and met Laura’s gaze, her eyes were slightly red and her expression was more than intrigued now.

“Laura,” Derek said. “How the hell do you woo a human?”

“A human.”

“Yes.”

“A boy.”

“The Sheriff’s kid.”

“Der,” she said, turning to meet his gaze. He did flash his throat upward a little then. “Are you sure?”

“He smells,” Derek said miserably. Laura crooked up an eyebrow and Derek felt his face turn hot as he ducked his head again.

He didn’t want to go into the fact that from the moment he’d looked at Stiles and his stupid face, he’d been bombarded by the smells that reminded him of home. Of his home, his family, and his favorite season. It was like the fall months at the Hale house when Derek’s dad would make cookies, Derek’s mom would make them rake leaves, and then they’d spend holidays, like Halloween, scaring the shit out of innocent trick-or-treaters.

“He smells like pack,” Derek said after a moment. Laura’s touch softened on his back and he felt himself melt into her touch.

Because Derek was a little terrified. The last time he thought something smelled good, it had been Kate and her perfume. Something that reminded Derek a little bit of red wine, a smell he couldn’t stand now.

But Stiles smelled nothing like that. Stiles smelled like family and safety and home. Derek hadn’t even been back in Beacon Hills for two weeks now and he was already messing up his vow to never get close to anyone from here again.

“Stiles Stilinski,” Laura said. “The Sheriff’s kid?”

“Apparently.”

“And you want to go after him?”

Derek paused for a moment. Because despite everything, it hadn’t crossed his mind that he could just ignore it. Ignore the smell, ignore Stiles, and ignore the fact that Derek had ever run into him. It was a completely accidental meeting after all. If Derek had been five minutes slower, he probably wouldn’t have run into Stiles at all.

Was this something he wanted to go after? Derek wasn’t sure.

Laura seemed to notice his indecision because she chuckled, brushing a hand through his hair and tracing her nose gently along the back of his neck before pushing herself up.

“No pressure, little bro. But if you dare go after this kid without telling me first, I will personally murder you. I want to meet him and I want to know everything about where he comes from. He doesn’t step foot into this apartment until I have details.”

Derek couldn’t help wincing at that. Because he knew there was more to the joking tone in her voice. Laura wouldn’t let anyone— even the pizza man—into their territory without a background check first.

Not after Kate.

He mumbled agreement into his hands and continued to stare at the floor. This was his decision, he realized. Whether or not he went after this Stiles Stilinski. What even was a Stiles Stilinksi?

Derek decided he wanted to find out.

- -

He wasn’t stalking Stiles, per se.

Derek wasn’t stalking Stiles, he didn’t care what it looked like. Yeah, he might have done a little bit of research on the kid. He might have figured out that he was home for the summer, on his second year at MIT, and had an internship from the FBI tucked in his belt.

But Derek wasn’t stalking Stiles. He just knew that the kid was staying with his dad across town, worked a summer shift at the bookstore nearby, and often bought coffee for his dad and the other deputies during his lunch break.

But Derek wasn’t stalking him. He was just interested.

So when Derek went down to the bookstore that Stiles worked at, it was purely out of interest. He didn’t even look toward the front desk as he slipped into the store, moving quickly behind the bookshelves and out of sight.

The scent of cinnamon and autumn leaves in the shop was overwhelming. Derek did his best not to close his eyes and just smell it, but it was hard. Shaking his head, he glanced over the shelves of books and realized he had wandered into the religious section.

Someone came into view and Derek froze as he realized it was Stiles.

Stiles paused too. Then a small nervous grin flitted across across his face and he leaned against the closest bookshelf, crooking up a brow.

“You’re not following me now, are you Sourpuss?”

Derek blinked at him. He was pretty sure words were possible, but at the moment, even the act of breathing fled him. Stiles barked out a laugh and waved a hand through the air.

“I’m joking, dude. I’m joking! You just look like you’re about to have a heart attack which, as we agreed on when we first met, would be very unfortunate for me. I don’t know the rules of involuntary manslaughter, but I’m pretty sure it’d be awkward for my dad if he had to arrest me.”

Derek nodded silently. Stiles grinned.

“So, can I help you find anything? Some Old Testament, maybe?”

Derek finally remembered he was surrounded by the literal Bible and quickly shook his head. “This isn’t the section I was looking for.”

“Ah,” Stiles said. “Well, I can help you find the poetry books if you want. Or maybe some Jane Austen? You look like a ‘classics’ man.”

Derek didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t really know how to answer anything Stiles said so he just nodded again. Stiles chuckled and started off across the bookstore.

“Well, here we have some Ernest Hemingway, here’s some George Orwell, and oh! Jane Austen. That lady wrote a mean Pride and Prejudice, you know.”

Derek was faintly aware that Stiles was still talking, but he was too focused on the boy’s face to pay attention to what he was saying. Stiles’s skin was pale and dotted with moles, and Derek really shouldn’t be concentrating so hard on his lips. The kid’s eyes were amber, but Derek thought when they caught the light, they looked a little golden.

“Uh,” Stiles said, and Derek realized with a blush how hard he’d been staring. “See anything you like, dude?”

“I wasn’t staring.”

Stiles blinked a few times. Then a lopsided smile cracked across his face and he shook his head. “I meant the books, Sourpuss. You feeling alright?”

“Fine,” Derek said. He turned to glare at the bookshelf as if it’d personally offended him and then grabbed the first book within reach. Stiles whistled.

“Fahrenheit 451. You could have worse tastes.”

Derek wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or insult. Or maybe it was neither.

He followed Stiles toward the back of the shop and paid for his book. He left a hefty tip and ignored Stiles’s protests when the boy tried to hand it back. Grabbing his book and receipt, Derek put on his best smile.

“Thanks for the help, Stiles.”

“Thanks for basically paying for my lunch, dude.”

Derek blushed and turned away, doing his best not to run from the shop. It was really hard, though, and he felt Stiles’s eyes burning into his back the whole way out. The bell over the exit rang and Derek was pretty sure he shut the door a little too hard.

Laura was at the apartment when he arrived back, still a little red-faced and fighting a smile. She sat at the table with a mug of tea but the second her gaze zeroed in on where he stood, her eyebrows shot up and she was moving across the room, taking his shoulders and sniffing in deep.

Derek tensed. Laura glanced up and searched his face. “You smell different.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Derek,” she said, eyeing him up and down. A smirk formed on her lips as she saw the bag he held and she snatched it up before Derek could protest, dancing away. Derek clenched his jaw and glared as Laura dug out his book, looked at the cover, and then proceeded to throw back her head with a laugh.

“Shut up,” Derek growled. Laura grinned at him.

“You hate old books!”

“I do not.”

“When we were kids you threw Hemingway out the window because you said it was rotting your brain.”

“It was,” Derek grumbled, stalking toward her and ripping the book out of her hands. It still smelled faintly like Stiles. “But I thought this one looked interesting.”

“What’s it about?”

Derek glanced back down at the cover and frowned even harder. “Really hot temperatures.”

Laura’s cackling picked up a level.

Derek glared at her and set the book on the coffee table. In truth, he probably wasn’t even going to read it. Maybe smell it once or twice more. But he wasn’t ever going to read it.

Laura was watching him knowing from the table when Derek dropped onto a chair across from her. She rested her chin on her hands and grinned.

“So, have you made your decision yet?”

“I just like the way he smells,” Derek said, looking down at his hands. “It’s... like before, Laura. It’s like before the fire.”

Her smile faded a little. Laura reached across the table and caught his hand, giving it a good squeeze. Derek swallowed hard and found he couldn’t meet her gaze again. They didn’t often talk about it. The fire, that was.

He’d always thought leaving Beacon Hills had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. But now Derek was starting to wonder if returning to it was.

“It’s strange,” he said. “I don’t understand why.”

“It’s ‘mate’,” Laura said, shrugging. “It’s not something all werewolves find. You’re lucky.

“He’s still an idiot.”

“But an idiot you’re planning on going after?”

Derek didn’t answer for a long moment, his memory snapping back to Stiles and his grin and his dancing amber eyes. Then quietly, he nodded, and Laura’s scent warmed across from him.

“Then, little bro, I’m going to teach you how to woo a human.”

Derek resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He was pretty sure he didn’t need any help, especially not from Laura. He could do this by himself.

- -

He could not do this by himself.

Or at least, maybe he shouldn’t. That’s what Derek realized when he spent five hours at the coffee shop for the next week and a half, waiting to see if Stiles would show up. He wasn’t sure if he kept missing the boy, if he had the wrong coffee shop, or if he was just wrong and Stiles didn’t buy his dad and deputies coffee.

But that had been a Facebook update status. Derek was pretty sure he did.

He was such a stalker.

On the tenth day, still ignoring Laura and her attempts to help, Derek trudged back into the coffee shop. The waitress knew his order by now and she’d given up trying to flirt with him on day four. Now, she just brought over his mocha, offered a polite smile, and turned away to attend to the other customers.

Derek leaned back in the same chair of the same table he’d laid claim to a week ago and proceeded to wait.

He didn’t have to wait very long.

Stiles came flouncing through not an hour later, closely followed by a slightly older man with light brown hair. The man wore a deputy’s outfit and was smiling fondly as Stiles talked, the boy waving his hands through the air as he punctuated each word.

The smell of the coffee shop filled with Stiles’s scent. It was like cinnamon and coffee and Derek didn’t think he ever wanted to leave.

He sat there for a moment, lost in his thoughts. Then he realized that he was basically hiding in the furthest corner of the cafe, partially hidden by a protruding wall, and there was no way Stiles was going to see him.

Derek panicked. Before he could even think he was pushing himself up, his coffee was tipping over, and a half-empty mocha was spilling across the tabletop.

Derek supposed that was one way to make a scene.

He stood there for a moment wondering how this was possibly his life when suddenly the smell of cinnamon and autumn was overwhelming. Derek spun around and Stiles yelped, stumbling a few feet back.

“Woah, Fahrenheit 451 dude, it’s me! The kid from the sidewalk, the one from the bookstore? Let’s avoid the heart attacks today!”

The kid had a handful of napkins in his hand and he offered them out as he regained his balance. Derek was pretty sure his face was fifty shades of red and he took them gratefully, turning toward the mess.

“Thanks.”

“So, you here for the coffee or the company?”

Derek tensed, frozen in place. There was no way Stiles could know Derek was here waiting for him. No way in hell. Unless he was a mind reader or something. “What company?”

“You meeting anyone here?”

Derek instantly felt himself relaxing. He finished wiping up the coffee and turned back around, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “No. Just here for the coffee.”

“Wise choice,” Stiles said. “It’s the best in the town, you know.”

“Oh?”

“Well, I make a pretty mean cup of black coffee. But that’s beside the point.”

Derek chuckled. Stiles studied his face before tilting his eyes, long eyelashes fluttering. “So, how goes the book? Have you finished it yet? Ready to come to the bookstore for another?”

The book. What book? Derek stared at him for a long moment before it hit.

“Oh, it’s great.”

“Yeah? I read that in high school and didn’t mind it much. Got a favorite part?”

Derek’s mind went blank. “The… hot temperatures part?”

Stiles’s eyebrows flew up. Derek felt a lump forming in his throat and then Stiles snorted, clapping him on the shoulder. “You’re hilarious, dude.”

Derek’s face turned warm and he grinned.

Then suddenly, the other man Stiles had come in with was approaching, a tray of coffee in hand. Stiles’s face brightened even more and Derek’s stomach did something strange at that. Something uncomfortable.

“Dude,” Stiles said, beckoning to the deputy. “This is Deputy Parrish, my dad’s literal favorite deputy. Parrish, this is… this is… dude, who are you?”

Parrish raised an eyebrow and Derek resisted the urge to growl at that. He tried to focus on Stiles, not the ‘Sheriff’s favorite Deputy’. “Derek Hale.”

“Parrish this is—Derek Hale?”

Derek didn’t know what to do with Stiles’s shocked tone. The boy and deputy exchanged looks and then Stiles shook his head.

“Sorry, I’m not freaking out. It’s just, dude. The Hale’s haven’t been in Beacon Hills since… uh...” Stiles trailed off and Derek ground his teeth together. He offered his best smile and nodded, although suddenly all he wanted to do was get out.

“My sister and I are back in town for the foreseeable future.”

“You two should come by the station sometime,” Parrish said. “The current Sheriff was there the night of the fire. I’m sure he’d like to welcome you both back.”

Derek really wanted to snap at the man, but he didn’t even have a good reason why. So instead, he nodded tightly and started to brush by. But to his surprise, Stiles caught his arm before he could make his escape.

“You will come by,” the boy asked, amber eyes catching the overhead light. “Right?”

Derek glanced from him, to Parrish, and then nodded once. He pulled out of Stiles’s grip and did his best not to stalk out of the cafe.

He was pretty sure he failed.

- -

So maybe Derek was willing to admit he needed help. He didn’t like it, he didn’t want to admit it, but maybe he did.

Laura was ecstatic.

“Okay,” she said, rubbing her hands together. “First, I need to see this kid.”

“Why.”

“Because, Der, he’s my little brother’s mate! Wait, don’t tell me. He hates puppies and thinks thunderstorms are the only reason to keep living.”

Derek gave her a flat look. Laura rolled her eyes.

“I’m joking, Der, I’m joking. I’m sure he’s quite lovely and fun.”

“He’s something alright.”

“So, when do I get to meet him?”

Derek’s eyebrows flew up. He didn’t actually think Laura had been serious. But when she crossed her arms and waited, he sighed. “We could go to the Sheriff’s station.”

“The Sheriff’s station?”

“He invited me.”

“Aw,” Laura said, eyes dancing. “How cute!”

“Shut up.”

She only grinned and patted him on the head, starting into her bedroom and announcing they were leaving in an hour. Derek rolled his eyes. He was pretty sure this was a bad idea and had no doubts it wasn’t going to end well. But he’d learned long ago not to tell Laura no.

Which might have been how an hour later, Derek was standing in the Sheriff’s office with Laura at his side. He hadn’t been here in years but it was like nothing had changed.

Some of the faces had, maybe. Derek didn’t remember much from his time here. He’d been in shock, in mourning, and hadn’t left Laura’s side except to give his statement.

Derek swallowed the lump in his throat and gazed around. He tensed as an older man approached; one with faint hints of Stiles’s scent, but nothing compared to the boy himself. The man wore the Sheriff’s badge, Derek realized. And he instantly straightened.

“Good afternoon,” the Sheriff said, glancing between them. “Can I help you two?”

Derek felt his face turn hot. Why had he come here again?

But then someone was calling his name and Stiles made a beeline across the office. Derek nearly slumped in on himself in relief and standing by his side, Laura straightened in interest.

“Dad, father-mine, pops,” Stiles said in excitement. “This is Derek!”

“Derek,” the Sheriff said. “Derek Hale?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I heard you’ve recently come back to town?”

“A month ago, sir.”

The Sheriff nodded his approval and Derek glanced sideways at his sister. She looked like she was going to say something too, but then another deputy was approaching. Parrish, Derek realized with a slightly sour feeling.

Except Laura suddenly straightened. Derek could’ve sworn her eyes flashed red, Stiles’s jaw dropped open, and then Laura was making a beeline for the door.

Parrish paused next to the Sheriff, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. And Stiles—Stiles was looking at Derek with a baffled expression. His scent had changed, Derek realized. He smelled excited, confused, and shocked all at once.

Derek’s stomach twisted.

“S-sorry, sir,” he said, backing after his sister. “Laura hasn’t been feeling well. It was, uh, nice to meet you?”

The Sheriff nodded once. Derek offered a small smile and then all but fled after Laura.

He found her outside, pacing back and forth the empty sidewalk and growling. Derek caught her arm and when she looked at him, her eyes flashed red. Derek swallowed a whine and tightened his grip.

“Laura, what’s happening?”

“Nothing.”

“Laura—”

“He smells.”

Derek narrowed his eyes. “He…?”

“The deputy.”

Derek stared at her for a moment. Then he let go to turn away and mask his sudden laughter. It served her right to be making fun of him for the past month to suddenly be faced with her own crisis. Laura smacked him over the back of the head and Derek smirked at her, all teeth.

“Smells, Laura?”

“Shut up.”

“Smells like what, old memories, new ones, possibilities?”

“He smells like mom,” Laura hissed. “Like her burning food in the kitchen, taking care of the pups, making sure no one hurt the pack—”

Laura suddenly cut off and straightened. Derek turned around to see Stiles standing in the doorway of the building, looking more than a little awkward. The boy wiggled his fingers through the air and Laura patted Derek on the shoulder before moving back into the Sheriff’s station.

Derek just stood there.

“So,” Stiles said, approaching carefully. “Werewolves.”

And Derek froze.

His eyes must have turned bright blue because the boy squeaked and threw his hands up. Stiles’s heart thudded against his chest and Derek was pretty sure his did too. Because Stiles wasn’t supposed to know. No one was supposed to know. Not again, not like Kate—

“My best friend’s a werewolf,” Stiles said quickly. “He was turned by a rogue alpha when we were in high school and he’s even got his own pack across the country now. I, uh, didn’t realize it until your sister’s eyes.”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Stiles flinched. “Are you mad that I know?”

Was he? Derek didn’t think so. Suddenly, it felt like a weight had been taken off his shoulders and all he could do was shake his head. Stiles grinned.

“Good, because that’s totally so cool, dude! I mean, I thought I saw blue sometimes, but I was never sure. And I was pretty sure you growled at Parrish when you first met him but I mean, I thought maybe that was just a fetish or something.”

“A fetish?”

“There are some weird people out there, dude.”

Derek stared at him. Stiles nervously wet his lips, tucking his hands into his pockets and shrugging.

“Not that I thought you were weird. A little stalkerish, maybe, after you started following me everywhere and accidentally liked one of my posts on Facebook from five years ago.”

Derek’s heart stopped. He hadn’t even realized he’d done that.

“But, uh, I don’t mind,” Stiles said. “You know. You don’t have terrible taste in books for anything.”

“I hate ‘classic’ books,” Derek said suddenly, the words spilling out. Stiles straightened, eyes widening, and then a surprised laugh burst out of his lips. It made Derek’s heart flip.

“Dude! Why didn’t you just say so?”

“Do you want to get a coffee?”

That spilled out before Derek could stop it too. He listened to Stiles’s heart skip a beat, caught the sudden change of his scent, and Derek nearly wilted in on himself. But then Stiles grinned from ear to ear and nodded. And Derek didn’t think he’d ever been more relieved or happy.

“Really?”

“Or dinner,” Sties said, winking. “I know this excellent pizza place.”

“Pizza?”

“Or Italian,” Stiles said quickly, looking suddenly nervous again. “Or Mexican, or Chinese, or—”

“Pizza’s good,” Derek said. Stiles cut off and another brilliant smile cracked across his face.

“Well then,” the boy said, moving a little closer. He tilted his head up and studied Derek’s face, long eyelashes fluttering. “It’s nearly something o’clock. You wanna take me now?”

Derek was pretty sure he growled. Stiles’s teeth sunk into his lower lip.

“Is that a yes?”

“Dammit, Stiles—” His scent. Standing there on the street, only a little ways from where Stiles had first nearly bowled him over, Derek was pretty sure he’d never smelled anything better.

It was like spices and autumn leaves. It was like sitting around the fireplace with his family, watching his siblings roll around in the leaves, smelling the cocoa his father would make on a cold day. His scent was like family. It surrounded him like pack.

It felt like home.

“Let’s go now,” Derek said, voice cracking. Stiles beamed.

- -

(if you enjoy my writing, consider supporting your underpaid student writer? You can also request a prompt if you’d like!). https://ko-fi.com/rh27writer

[sneyrwrites]

|Power Within|Kuroo x Reader.

✘ Genre: Fantasy! Au

✘ Warnings: Cursing

✘ Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader.

✘ Part: 0.5/ ?

✘ A/n: My heavily sleeped deprived brain came u with this concept and i had the urge to write it, so i hope you enjoy!

WARNING:

This story is under construction, and it will take some time for it to be ready for release. I’m posting the prologue to have some pressure to finish it and hoping to get any kind of feedback from the readers!

Kuroo knew the sound of the shuffling cards brought Kenma a sense of comfort. His friend smiled a little more and his pupils sharpened every time the stack separated into three neat piles in between them.

These monthly readings had become a sort of ritual between the both of them since Kuroo had become a Coven leader after Nekomata retired three years ago. They were reassuring to Kuroo and it gave him a way to fit spending time with his friend into his crazy schedule as the coven leader.. Meetings, reunions, diplomatic issues with the other three races and the constant need for budgets the Potion makers demanded being approved. Kuroo didn’t have time to practice his magic like he used to before. 

But the full monday a month he could give to his friend was enough to help ease a little of his stress.

Kenma had a way with Tarot cards, Kuroo was glad that he was able to find his magical affinity.As a late bloomer it took Kenma a long time to feel comfortable around the coven, no matter how much Kuroo tried to break into his shell. He remained the same introverted boy, until he stumbled upon divination and all its varieties when they turned 18.

Kuroo had found his tendency towards potions and specifically healing potions when he was around fourteen, and he knew Kenma was silently in pain because of that, but he did all he could to integrate him into the coven. The long wait was worth it in the end. Kenma was the best cartomancer in the Coven, with his reading being able to predict things precisely, and his ability to interpret the magical energy from the cards allowed him to perceive specific details and images.

The orange curtains partially blocked the sunlight coming in through the windows, tinting everything in sunset colours even though it was the early morning. They were the only two members of the Coven wandering around in the main building during those cold autumn days. The smell of myrrh and a hint of vanilla in the air not coming from the incense, but from Kenma’s magic, gave the room a placid atmosphere. 

 Kuroo smiled as the cards re-stacked themselves and then started to spread in the characteristic way they always did, prompted only by Kenma’s will, not even needing him to cast a spell. 

Three cards laid out in front of them facing down, and everything felt normal. Kenma flipped the first two revealing the emperor and the cart, both signifying a successful month ahead of them. Kuroo knew a little of tarot himself,  just enough to get a general sense, but the practice never called him, potion making snatching his full attention. 

Kenma’s hand reached for the third card but stopped right above it, not even touching it. A furrow settled in his brows and his pupils sharpened, to the point where they were barely noticeable. The air in the room went stagnant, and the magical energy tingled Kuroo’s skin. Something changed. 

“What the f…?” The quiet murmur of confusion coming from Kenma only fueled his unease. “That’s weird… Who…?” His frown deepened.

“What is it?” The urgency in his voice was almost tangible and by the pointed look Kenma sent his way, totally unhelpful. “The reading was going well right?”

“Yeah.” Kenma hesitated, a small flash of fear behind his eyes. His still stretched out hand trembled. “But som…” He couldn’t finish

The stack that was calmly next to him flew up in the air, followed by the other three remaining cards. A spicy smell overpowered Kenma’s, alerting us that another magical presence had entered the room, manipulating the deck in a way that was unheard of. 

Kuroo could only watch as the cards wildy flew around the room re-arranging  and mixing. Kenma looked shocked, as his eyes tried to follow every single change. The thought that Kenma wasn’t the one manipulating them made a cold and heavy feeling, like an iceberg drop in his stomach. 

Was it a Hex? Was someone trying to break the spell protecting the coven’s building? No, if that was the case the alarms would go off. Either way he was going to call Wakatoshi and ask him to check and reinforce it

After what felt like a lifetime the cards finally stacked themselves up in the middle of the table, settling the room in a tense and heavy silence both of them were afraid to break. His heart was beating erratically and a cold sweat beaded on his forehead. What was even going on?  He took a look at the clock on the wall, it read 5:40 am. Not even ten minutes had passed since they started. 

Kenma reached for the stack but, as soon as he hovered his hand above them, he pulled it away, as if the Tarot Cards had burned his skin. Kuroo watched in disbelief as his friend rubbed the palm of his hand, a hurt expression morphing his face. Now he was really worried. The cards never had done that to him before, normally it was the opposite, the cards welcomed Kenma and almost buzzed when he manipulated them.

“They want you to flip them…” Disbelief tinted his words, and he looked so frail and dejected it almost pained Kuroo. “I can’t touch them.” 

“Is it okay if i…?” Kuroo was apprehensive about touching Kenma’s deck. It was his most prized possession, and he cared for them with his life. Touching them made Kuroo feel all kinds of dirty and unworthy. 

“Go ahead… Something bad is going on.” The resolve in Kenma’s voice appeared out of nowhere.

The cards didn’t lash out at him when his fingers brushed the smooth surface of the card on top. He flipped the first and suppressed a gasp.

The burning tower and the man falling to the ground made Kuroo sweat even more. The falling tower was never a good sign in a future reading.

Kenma sharply inhaled as he observed the deck. Kuroo willed his hand to stop shaking and he flipped the second card over. The devil card delivered even more bad news. He knew the basic meaning, but by the way Kenma hissed and brought his hand to his forehead it meant something more.

“Are you okay? Too overwhelming?” Kuroo got up, and was about to make his way to Kenma's side but he stopped him with a sign of his hand, recomposing quickly after a moment. 

“I'm fine, the energy got a little hectic back there and bombarded me with blurry images... Flip the third one.” Kuroo flopped down at the command of his friend, watching him intently.

He had never seen Kenma as unnerved as he was in that moment. His lip was tightly imprisoned between his teeth and Kuroo worried he might draw blood if he kept pressing it so tightly. But there was nothing to do besides go with it. A fist was clamping his hear, filling himt with fear for whatever the next card would predict. Anticipation was thick in the air and after a sharp intake of air, he willed his hand to grab the third and final card of the reading. 

The blasting ringtone from his phone made him jolt in his seat, the somber mood completely broken by the upbeat tone of “Everybody wants to be a cat” from The Aristocats. His heart had risen to his throat, and he felt the rapid pulse in his neck, slightly deafening him, overpowering the ringtone. He exchanged a doubtful glance with Kenma, afraid whatever the cards predicted had started already.

Tendou’s face popped in the screen, and he worried even more. The Seer was his friend, but such an early call was out of character from him. 

“It's the Seer... I wonder what he wants. He usually sleeps until 2pm....” His eyes searched Kenma’s once more and with the nod from his friend he unlocked his phone and took the call.

“Hello Hello, Kuroo-san…” Tendou’s cheery voice erupted from the speaker and he cringed at the tone. “ I see Kenma and you are in the middle of a reading. Get it? See... I'm the Seer, never mind...” He cleared his throat and his mischievous tone disappeared in the next sentence. “ Cleanse the room after you finish, Gaia visited me and that’s never a good sign.” That little sentence felt as if  an anvil had fallen on him. The knot in his throat grew. 

Now of all times, when he was in charge of 700+ people, Gaia decided to present herself to Tendo and warn him.? Shit was about to hit the fan.

“Flip the next card Kuroo.” He followed the instructions and the Sun card appeared. “Huh... Maybe Gaia was wrong...” The confused tone came from the phone… “

“Should you be disrespecting the goddess like that Tendou-san?” Kenma’s eyes were lost, almost as if he was observing something that wasn’t there as he spoke

“Oh, Kenma-kun, you worry too much.” He stopped for a second “But still, both of you, be careful, and please, try not to lash out too much on her Kuroo… Or else things could get really ugly really fast.” He warned.

“What do you mean Tendou?”  Kuroo asked, worry once more tainting his voice “Who?”

“Gaia, I’m sleepy. Gotta go guys, let’s play later Kenma! I’ll be jungler this time, bye bye!” The dialing tone silenced any further questions they could have. 

Kuroo stared at his screen in shock. 

“It's too early for this shit.” Kenma's sigh grabbed his attention. “ I need a coffee... Let's go to Starpups...”  He proposed with a disinterested tone.

“Are you really thinking about coffee in a moment like this? Are you kidding Kenma?” Kuroo felt like throwing up from the emotional rollercoaster he just went through, and his friend wanted to get a coffee?  

“What else can we do really? The only thing I got from that reading was the smell of spicy ramen and a flash of red. I can’t really think of anything right now.” Kenma's eyes held some doubt behind them, but Kuroo let it go. “Grab your talisman and let's go.”

“Why my talisman?” he never used it when going out for coffee

“Just do it, trust my gut...” Kenma sent him a pleading look, his eyes letting him know there was a solid reason behind his concern.

Kenma turned around and practically bolted out of the room. Sighing, Kuroo gave the cards on the table a dirty look and lit the incense on fire, hoping to cleanse some of the residual energy in the room, before leaving as well.  

He felt as if some of that spicy magical energy lingered on his skin, even after he closed the door behind him

CHAPTER 1 SNEEK PEAK

“Listen you f…” His startled gasp cut your colorful string of curses. Following his eyes you noticed the thick black cloud of smoke. That was coming from your sleeve, which was on flames.  “What the fuck dude! Put it out!” You desperately tried to put the flames off, but they wouldn’t budge. 

A startled cry left your lips when the flames grew and almost lashed out to the man, as if they had a mind of their own. He barely dodged the hit, the tip of his tie getting a little singed.  

“It wasn’t me I swear! I’m not an elementari I’m just a cartomancer!” He looked almost as freaked out as you after that. “ Why did you start a fire!? Is there a counter hexer in here!?” 

“Yeah, like it’s my favorite activity to set myself on fire!” You whined, waving your arm around as the flames crept up. 

“She seems fine...” a soft and monotone voice stated, and a guy poke his head from behind the tall man.  His blond dyed hair showing quite a large amount of dark roots and styled in a half bun. His eyes were also sharp and attentive sporting the same style of pupils and irises. They seemed to pierce your very soul

The tall and worried man in front of you scanned your face, and you took a second to study his features. His jaw was sharp and his nose straight, with high cheekbones and cute lips. 

He was hot, and his messy hair with black locks spiking up in odd places and partially falling over his forehead was way too wild  to be just a consequence of the merciless wind that picked up that autumn morning. And it did wonders to make him look even more appealing.

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[realityshiftingandblogging]

Dreaming, An Explanation

Okay before I start, I had this posted on Amino a while back so if you go "hey I've seen this on Amino-" that's because it's my post. If you need further proof I'll log in and screenshot XD

I wanted to make this to show others valuable information and maybe clear up how the dream process works! Before anyone asks - yes I did write this. These are my NOTES from the book I was reading. You can find it here: https://books.google.com/books/about/500_Dreams_Interpreted.html?id=g-TqtgAACAAJ

Obviously I do not claim to have a scientific discovery on any bit of this information (lol), it's public information.

I've collected, gathered, and put into my own words. If I had to copy it word for word I have "quotations" and things like "(from the book.)" Also, you'll see me say "quote on unquote." If anything wasn't quoted, I sincerely apologize in advance. I hope you get any answers you have needed, and that this isn't too boring! The whole point of this was to give information on dreams and how make the most of them. I never really understood (until a few years back) why we lucid dream and how it works. Why does it do this and is there anything that triggers it? So here is what I learned and what I also got from the book! (I really hope you find answers because this took....8 hours? To write?) So in other words, I hope this clears things up for you!

Side note: The images are sort of like borders?? I hope they don't bother you. And there are a lot of grammar errors so 🧍🏻‍♀️

Introduction

Dreams can be used to communicate and discover important things about yourself. The process happens when the deepest part of your subconscious, that processes the dream state, sends messages to you - which can be symbols, actions, people, or images. What happens in a dream is usually not meaningless, but it can be confusing at times! These messages are meant to help you evaluate and discover what you are doing right and wrong.

Dreams can consist of personal experiences which are why when your subconscious messages you, it can consist of things that are personal to you. (Such as memories, beliefs, and other things like fantasies and expectations.) This is why if you learn the meanings of your dreams and discover how to use them, you can become better at what you do and achieve a higher level of inspiration and encouragement.

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“When you go to sleep, where do you really go?”    ― Brian Lovestar

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The way to unlock the meanings of your dreams is to realize that

¹ They are not a one-way experience in which your dream self bombards you with information.

² Dreams are not lectures, they are dialogues between your conscious and subconscious minds. The dialogue is created from your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Your dream self then uses this information to create visual pictures to show you what you feel and how you perceive things.

Once you begin to interpret your dreams you will recognize attributes that may not be serving you in the best way possible/positive way. Once you interpret your dreams and learn - you’ll find it easier to face fears and overcome personal challenges. With more practice, you can learn to program and/or “incubate” your dreams to address a very specific problem. Because dreams generally have multiple levels of meaning, the more work, and effort you do, the better.

Why do we dream?

This has no definitive answer, though as far as speculation goes - it's to rejuvenate and repair the body. Others say it’s purely phycological; to review the daily events, relieve the mind, and to release emotions. Here are a few explanations...

Compensation

Carl Jung, a psychologist, believes that we dream to compensate for underdeveloped personalities. His reason is it may explain why the dreaming behavior of some is obviously different from the ‘them’ they personify while awake.

Processing

This suggests that dreams organize and process the conscious and unconscious mind that it received during the day. In other words “refreshing the mind.” And again, in other words, “rebooting/turning it off and on again.”

Coping

Ernest Hartmann, a psychiatry professor, suggests that dreams are projected by certain emotions. The new material is “weaved” into the memory of said dreamer in ways to help cope. In ways such as stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, etc.

Activation Synthesis

In this theory, Allan Hobson and Robert McCarley say that dreams are due to “sensory-motor signals.” These areas activate small parts of the brain that affect memory, emotions, and physical feelings. In this, it creates dreams in relation to the sensations and signals sent.

Resolution

Some scientists believe in this theory: the theory that dreaming is a problem-solving use. They suggest that when we sleep, our brain continues to process all issues of concern that we deal with in our waking hours. In this, it makes up solutions.

So what does happen when we sleep? That we know of?

When you go to bed at night you are alert. The reason is that your brain is still producing a small signal - a beta wave. As you begin to fall asleep these waves slow down and become ‘Alpha Waves.’ When this happens you might experience what’s called “Hypnagogia.” This is the experience of auditory and visual hallucinations that make it hard for you to fall into a “deep sleep.” As others may know it, it can cause Sleep Paralysis and Lucid Dreaming! As Google says: “Hypnagogia is the experience of the transitional state between wakefulness and sleep in humans: the hypnagogic state of consciousness, during the onset of sleep. Mental phenomena that occur during this “threshold consciousness” phase include lucid thought, lucid dreaming, hallucinations, and sleep paralysis.” During the process of attempting this...some people reported hearing their name called, seeing random patterns, and body jerks (which are called myoclonic jerks.) When you’re in this stage it’s as if you’re fighting to stay awake. But actually, this is the first step of sleep.

Every night your body switches between a cycle of REM and NREM states. This happens around every 90 minutes or so, you switch between light sleep and deep sleep and the cycle continues. It supposedly happens around 6 times a night (but varies depending on how long you sleep at night.) The changes between REM and NREM are found by the change of your heart rate, brain activity, muscle tension, and body temperature.

NREM Sleep

State one: In this stage, you should begin to drift off. Your muscles relax, your body temp and blood pressure decrease, and you breathe slowly. As the production of Alpha waves begin to slow, your awareness noise, light, and feeling begin to zone out. Your eyes would exhibit slow movements and this is an easy state to awake you from.

State two: If stage one is undisturbed, state two will enter the stage. In this, you will feel a deeper sense of relaxation and like before… All blood pressure, heart rate, breathing, and temp decrease. Your brain produces slower theta waves which will soon introduce “sleep spindles.” Sleep spindles are higher forms of activity. This process usually lasts 10-20 minutes.

State three: This is a deeper form of sleep. You couldn’t be awakened very easily from this state. Yet again temp, blood, and heart rate decrease. Your brain should still be producing theta waves, which gradually change to lower and larger delta waves.

State four: State four is when you are sleeping deeply now but not dreaming. In this stage, it’s difficult to be awoken due to your body’s sensitivity level. In this stage, most of your brain waves are delta waves now.

Back To Rem

Around 20 minutes after being in stage 4 of NREM, your cycle goes back to states 2 and 3. But you won't return to stage one and wake up. Instead, you will just go to REM sleep. This is called “prime dream mode.” The electrical waves/movements in your brain put you in a state similar to being awake. Your eyes will move from behind the lids. Research says this is because your mind is focusing on the dreams. During this, your heart rate speeds up, oxygen increases and so does your temp. After this REM is induced and what is commonly referred to as Sleep Paralysis will begin. This is when all muscles in the body are immobilized. As far as we know - it’s believed to prevent us from “acting out” in our dreams and hurting ourselves.

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Side Note

This happens multiple times a night. The more time you enter State 4 sleep, the more rejuvenation you receive. The more time you spend in sleep, the less time that 3 and 4 will happen and gives you more time to spend in REM/dreaming stage. Also, from the reading, they say early morning dreams are more vivid and happen longer.

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End of the dreaming

When you begin to wake up, you’ll experience “hypnopompia.” This is very similar to hypnagogia, This stage leaves you disoriented and makes you feel “loopy.” It could make you feel like there is pressure on your chest and sometimes causes you to feel, see, and hear things. Such as someone walking into your room and standing there. This process can be described as your mind waking up before your body does. Many times this does happen, but we have no memory of it ever happening. But when people do remember they describe it as frightening or disturbing. If you do happen to experience this, it’s said to remain calm and your body will eventually wake up.

How can you recall your dreams?

The first good step is to keep the visual fresh in your mind! As well, try to remember as many details as possible. Despite whether you only remember fragments or “none at all.” There are a few fun activities you can do!

Window of Opportunity

This method is intended to improve your observational skills, which does improve dream recall. Pick a comfortable spot to sit in, specifically near a window. You need the window. Take a few moments to unwind and relax. Just let your gaze look wherever you like - as long as you're looking at what’s out there. Notice as much detail as you can while being focused. BUT do not feel stressed by it. Don’t “worry” about it either. Just focus on the details. Take in as much as you can like… what color is the sky? Are the trees yellow and brown or green? Are there people? If so, what do they look like? What are they wearing? Once you are done with the scene and you feel comfortable, bring out a notebook and write down every bit of information you remember. It doesn’t matter the order and neither does it if you don’t remember something specific. It can be general things if that’s all you remember. Also, note the emotions you felt as you looked at certain things. Were you tired? Happy? Wanting this to be over? Write that down. If you’re artistic, you may sketch it! Sometimes sketching the scene may help you remember things you didn’t recall before.

Dream it up a bit

After this exercise, you might want to do better/enhance the skill. When you do, you should try being “more creative.” How so? Make it more “dreamier.” Pretend you are actually there in the scene. Strolling a path, smelling the roses, looking at the lake, etc. Once you’re done, jot it down. Remember to do this in the present tense. Write the details of what you saw and then implement yourself into it - just as you imagined.

Rewrite

If gazing out of a window is not something you want to do. There is another way! To do so you need to recall an event that happened in your day and pretend like it was a dream! Write it down in the present tense. Here’s an example: You went to eat lunch. Since you did you need to ask these questions:

•What time do I leave and arrive?

•What am I wearing?

•What’s the weather like?

•What day of the week is it?

•How am I feeling?

•Do I speak to someone?

•How do I travel?

•Am I alone?

You can do this for however long you’d like. Recalling all of these details as if they were a dream helps your mind remember said dreams.

Suggestion/Affirmations

Yep! Suggestion! This is effective and simple. All you have to do is, very often, suggest to yourself that you WILL remember your dreams. You can post reminders on your phone, ask someone to say “hey you're going to remember your dreams” every so often, or even use a “suggestion trigger.” A suggestion trigger is something to remind you to repeat your phrase. A good “suggestion trigger” is whenever you check the time!

Dream Journals and Sleep

Dream journals are your own personal journal and there is no “right or wrong” way to keep one. It’s made based on what you observe from your dreams. Simply put. The most important part of keeping one is that you feel comfortable with it. Here are a few small suggestions before going to bed:

Pick one that suits you.

Yes, it may be nice to buy one of those fancy dream journals that are marketed as such. But you may get it and spend money on something you really didn’t like. So go with what suits you and makes you comfortable.

Prepare yourself and your place.

Avoid anything strenuous before bed and avoid anything that might disrupt your sleep cycle. If you are a tidy type and need a clean room, then tidy before bed. Be sure the room is the right temperature for you and get into something cozy. You may be too lazy to do so but this will help your sleep and your remembrance of detail. It will also make sure you won’t be distracted by small annoying things.

Place the journal near you when you sleep.

Also, keep a pen! If you wake up at night you can write it ASAP.

Before going to bed, open to a new page.

Note where you are and where you live, the date, the time, etc. Leave a space at the top so you can title it later depending on the dream you had. Summarize all events of that day you can think of and write down your reminder phrase! It is optional if you want to include your mood and your health state. Before going to bed, repeat your reminder phrase

Upon Waking Up

Set your clock 15 minutes earlier than your normal wake time. This gives you more time to write your details. If possible, wake up to classical music or radio. Alarms cause sudden noises and sudden noises have been proven to make you forget dream memory upon waking up. As you begin to wake up, lie down, and keep your eyes shut. This will help “cement” the details into your subconscious. (Supposedly.) Without trying to change or manipulate any thoughts, try to recall the details of your dream When you feel comfortable enough, start writing anything you remember. Write in the present tense. Try to relive the dream as you write it. You can start anywhere in the dream, even go backward. The more important aspect is keeping somewhere to relive. Once you finished you should write the time you woke up and choose a title. Assigning a title and table of contents will help your mind's ability to make connections.

Dreamwork during the day

If you couldn’t recall your dream, take some time (when you can) to write about what your day as if it were a dream. Just like what we mentioned above. To “enhanced” this exercise you can imagine that you really did recall something. For example (come from the book): “I awake with a vague feeling of having been in a sunny place. There are brightness and warmth.”

Dream Incubation. What is it? And how do I use it?

Around the world there are places called “Dream temples” These temples were made in the honor of Asklepios, the god of healing. Snakes were allowed to move freely around these temples because it was believed they were secret symbols to evoke the powers of gods. As you may know, there is a popular symbol of snakes. The Caduceus! It’s two snakes wrapped around a staff. This is mainly based on the symbolism that snakes are “healers.” Both emotional and physical. Dream temples were most often placed in a rural area away from loud places. Many people would travel, even from long distances, to stay in these places to receive answers or enlightenment. These temples had a set intention for visitors/seekers to clarify the outcome they wanted. Because of the focus and encouragement received from the temples, it’s said it’s not unusual to receive the specific message they looked for. Not all cultures and places had these temples, but it didn’t stop them from Dream Incubation. (More on that in a minute). The Egyptians wrote the questions they wanted on linen and tied it around the wrist while meditating. Some soaked it in oil and burned it with incense while praying. Then they went to sleep, expecting the answer.

As you know, these days you can’t go to your local supermarket and pass by a dream temple. But, dream incubation is still widely practiced. People still to this day to "program" their dreams.

Your Temple

When trying to induce your routine to practice dream incubation, it can be simple or complex. Whatever you find comfortable. The temple of yours can be anywhere you find comfortable and where you are willing to practice the routine. (Such as writing, scripting, daydreaming, etc). But the main idea is to focus on your desired message.

Here are a few steps:

•Choose your phrase

•Form a clear intention

•Prepare your mind

•Get comfy

•Relax

•Visualize your dream’s solution (Ex: reading it, having the advice handed to you, seeing the answer played out in your very own personal “dream drama.”)

•Think about your reaction to the answer

Incubating dreams

When incubating your dreams you need a pre-set idea. Where do you want to be? In what way do you want your answer given? What symbols represent this? Afterward, start daydreaming about it, try to feel whatever it is that would be around you. Choose phrases that will affirm that it’s what you will dream of. Repeat that as many times possible. Often reflect on how it would feel being there and when you wake up and log as usual. But because you are programming this yourself - there may be nothing to interpret. But it will induce what you wanted to see. (A/N. As I’m reading this book and typing these notes I'm realizing how close they were to figuring out the shifting process. I-. Bye-). But take this moment to think through what happened, there may have been a messaged slipped in.

Lucid Dreams (Fun Fact!)

Believe it or not, the earliest record of lucid dreaming was recorded in the 4th century B.C. This happened when Aristotle, himself, was writing his work ‘On Dreams.’ He said quote on quote “For often when one is asleep, there is something in consciousness which declares that what then presents itself is but a dream.” In 1867 Hervey de Saint-Denys wrote “Dreams and How to Guide Them.” This book was intended to show you the techniques he used to achieve a state of realization.

To Lucid Dream

When you lucid dream, you can do anything you please when you realize it is nothing but a dream. So how can you tell if it's a lucid dream? How do you lucid dream? Well, there are multiple ways.

Record it.

Record what you remember. Like we talked about with a dream journal.

Power of suggestion.

Even a simple phrase that “I am aware I am dreaming.” Is simple enough! Repeat this during the day and at night.

Checking your reality.

A commonly favored thing is “reality checks.” This requires you to test your surroundings and ask if they are real or not. If you notice something is off, it’s possible you once played it off. But if you looked closer, it was a dream.

Look for inconsistencies.

It’s found that a few things do not remain consistent in a dream. For example lights, watches, the time, sounds, etc. Because these changes are not normal, you know it’s just a dream.

Now that there are tips to know if you’re in a dream; Here are some to help you practice lucid dreaming/become in the state.

Visualize your everyday life (when awake) like a dream! Convince yourself as every small thing is just a dream. Whenever you’re doing something, take a look around and think of it as a dream. Believe that everything you do can be changed because you will it. Daydreaming the small things have changed will help as well. The tree outside? It’s not dead. It’s in full bloom! These practices are intended to help you make conscious and unconscious choices.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

Everybody Hurts

Leif wasn’t sure what caused this. He wasn’t even sure there was one thing that caused it. It was probably more of a series of small things- throwaway comments and eye rolls and whispers behind his back. All Leif knew is that somehow he’s ended up in an isolation pod having what is probably the worst panic attack of his life.

He’s not good enough. Not good enough to work at SPRQ point, not good enough to be a part of the Donnelly family, not good enough for Tobin Batra (although Leif really doesn’t want to think about his crush right now), not good enough for anyone he works with, not good enough to even exist.

Leif didn’t know how to be better. He didn’t know how when the way he showed himself to others was so different than how he really was. He’s heard it over and over again, that he’s smug and overly ambitious and cocky and alienating, etcetera, etcetera. He doesn’t want to be those things, doesn’t try to be those things, he isn’t even sure that he is those things. But it’s too late for that now. Plus, he can guarantee that everyone he works with would much rather put up with the smug and obnoxious Leif Donnelly than the small, broken, anxious Leif Donnelly. 

So those are his two options, huh? To be a jerk of a person that everyone hates or be himself and have everyone pity him or think he’s unable to work properly. At least jerk Leif gets his work done, and gets it done good. If Leif takes even a second out of his work day to be alone with his thoughts, it’s impossible to get anything done. 

He isn’t sure how long he sits in that pod, tears streaming down his face, his whole body shaking, drowning in thoughts like those. All he knows is before he’s even remotely pulled himself together, there’s a knock on the outside of the pod.

He doesn’t respond, doesn’t trust himself to say anything without revealing the pain in his voice.

The person knocks again.

“Leif?” It’s Tobin. “Bro, I know you need time alone sometimes, and I wasn’t going to bother you, but you’ve been in here for an hour and I’m really concerned.”

Leif still says nothing, blinking back even more tears. He doesn’t want anyone pretending to care about him right now. He knows they’re all lying.

“Dude I really don’t want to overstep boundaries, but I need you to say something or I’m going to open the pod. Not even say something, just make any indication that you’re alive, please.” Tobin sounds desperate and very, very worried. 

Great. The one person who Leif thought he hadn’t hurt. 

He doesn’t mean to say anything, he just wants Tobin to go away. But he’s never been very good at crying silently, and he must have let a sob be heard, because he hears Tobin breathe a sigh of relief.

“Leif! Oh thank god. Now can you please open up? We can go somewhere else to talk, or if you want we can even go home, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a big deal.”

The last thing Leif wants is for people at work to think he’s slacking off, but he has to admit that home sounds very nice right now. So, tentatively, he opens the pod.

Tobin’s face falls when he sees Leif, which only makes Leif cry more.

“H-hey Tobes.” He manages weakly, trying to wipe away his tears. He shakes his head desperately, attempting to get the image of Tobin’s disappointed face out of his head. He doesn’t need another reminder of how much he’s failed. 

“Leif, I need you to stand up and walk to the elevator. Can you do that for me? I can get your stuff, and I’ll tell Zoey you had a family emergency come up.”

Leif shakes his head a bit, trying to say that he shouldn’t go home, he needs to work, needs to prove himself worth something-

“Are you saying that you can’t do that? Because I could carry you, or get someone else to help, or… or something.”

“I shouldn’t leave.” Leif says in a small voice.

“No. You’re leaving. Listen to me, you need to go home right now, ok? You don’t need to suddenly feel better, but you need to be at home, where you have access to things that help you.”

Leif opens his mouth to try to argue, but all he gets is more sobs. He nods at Tobin. Slowly, he stands, and shakily begins to move to the elevator.

“I’ll be right there, ok dude? Don’t go anywhere, just wait for me.” Tobin moves to clap Leif’s shoulder but hesitates and rushes off towards his desk instead.

He tries not to focus on everyone’s stares as he walks away. Just looks down at his feet and focuses instead on trying to stop his crying. But Leif can still feel the stares, burning into his back. Feel the whispers. He can only imagine what they’re saying. What did he do wrong this time? I bet he’s upset about some stupid thing, like maybe he wore the wrong cardigan with the wrong socks. He can’t be actually upset. We all know Leif Donnelly doesn’t have emotions. He’s just an asshole who thinks he’s better than anyone else. Is he leaving for good? Good riddance. No one liked having him around anyway-

“Leif.” Tobin’s voice snaps Leif out of his spiral of dread, and he realizes he made it to the elevator. “I got your stuff, and Zoey’s fine with both of us leaving. Are you good to go?” 

Leif nods again, finding it the only form of communication he can do at the moment. Tobin gently guides him to the open elevator door, and they ride in silence the way down. They still don’t talk as Tobin grabs Leif’s bike and waits for the next bus. Usually Leif would protest at someone else handling his bike, or insist to ride it, or something of the sort, but he can’t find it in him to talk at all.

The bus ride is silent as well. Leif knows he hasn’t calmed down by any means, but he’s become a strange sort of numb. The part of his brain that can still think knows that he really doesn’t want to make even more of a scene in public than he already has. If he can make it home, he can scream and cry and do whatever he wants, and only Tobin will see. 

He’s still crying, he thinks. Leif can’t really tell anymore. He must be, though, because why else would Tobin carefully take his hand and rub circles on it with his thumb?

It feels nice. 

Really nice.

So nice that Leif’s panic is mildly and briefly overcome by love.

Emphasis on the mildly and briefly.

---

They arrive at the apartment, and Leif’s shaking so much he’s not sure he can make it up the stairs. But Tobin wraps an arm around him and helps him up, all while carrying their work stuff. 

Eventually they make it, after what feels like forever. Leif stares at the door. It seems like so long since he’s been here last. When he left for work this morning- only a few hours ago- he felt fine. What happened?

(He knows what happened. He knows that Zoey told him he needed to work harder. He knows that Mike rolled his eyes and walked away from him, commenting to Colin on how annoying Leif was. He knows that he was getting bombarded from texts from his brothers, “checking in on him” while in reality bragging about all their accomplishments and asking him how things were at his ‘tiny little tech place’. He knows, but he doesn’t want to think about it.)

Tobin opens the door and drops all their stuff, leading Leif to the couch. He lowers Leif onto it and moves towards the kitchen.

“Just stay there, ok? I’m going to get you some water.” Tobin pauses after pouring Leif a glass. “Do you think you can eat something?”

Leif shakes his head, already curled into himself on the couch.

“Okay.” Tobin sits next to him, setting Leif’s water on the table in front of them. “So. You’re home, you’re settled, you’ve got something to drink. Now do you think you can tell me what happened?” Tobin sounds firm, yet somehow still gentle. Like he knows that Leif might be unable to respond, and he respects that. 

“I…” Leif tries to form words, and instead the tears start forming again. “It’s nothing really, I just needed some space.” 

“Dude. You know that I trust you, and I know you do need space sometimes, but this is more than that. Can you please tell me?”

“Nothing happened!” Leif snaps. “It was just this stupid buildup, and everyone hates me, and I can’t focus anymore, and my stupid brothers-” He stops, rubbing desperately at his eyes in an attempt to stop crying. 

Tobin freezes. “What did your brothers do?”

“Nothing really, they’re just better than me and they’re successful, a-and my parents love them, and they’re happy, and- and they’re straight…” Leif isn’t sure that his bisexuality is really even a part of this specific issue, but it’s definitely a contributing factor of why his parents loved their youngest sons so much. 

Leif glances over at Tobin, who’s looking at him expectantly. He realizes that his friend wants him to keep talking, to keep telling him what exactly was going on in this fucked-up brain of his.

“So yeah, I’m just stressed about them, and family stuff, and everyone at work hates me. I already said that. Shit. I dunno, Tobes, it just feels like everything… like everything is falling apart and I’ve held my emotions in for seven years and I just don’t want to anymore. I don’t want to pretend. I want to be myself, but people will hate me even more if I do that.”

“Anything else?” Tobin jokes weakly.

 Leif takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I think that’s everything.”

“Do you want to talk to you? Or do you want to be alone, or have me distract you, or something else? I’ll do whatever you need.”

“I don’t care.” Leif stares blankly at the TV in front of him.

“Ok… I’m gonna talk then, ok?”

Leif nods, wrapping his arms around his knees. 

“Well, to start, not everyone hates you. I’m not going to tell you no one hates you, because honestly I don’t know if that’s true or not. I’m pretty sure it is though. You are an incredibly talented programmer, and you know as well as I do that SPRQ point wouldn’t be able to function without you. 

Next, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: fuck your family. Bro, you need to realize that you’re an adult now, you don’t owe them anything. Your brothers are assholes and they shouldn’t be constantly rubbing their achievements in your face. You’re super successful too, you know. Not many 28 year olds are working at a hella successful tech place in San Francisco. 

As for your parents… man, I don’t know what to do about them. But if I had to suggest something, I would suggest cutting them off for a bit. It’s not like you see them much anymore anyways. Maybe if you ignore them they’ll learn to stop treating you like dirt and then immediately begging for your forgiveness- which they don’t deserve, by the way. And Leif? Don’t listen to any of their homophobic bullshit. Your brothers’ success has nothing to do with them being straight. Literally like ninety percent of the people we work with aren’t straight. Your parents need to grow up and realize it’s 2020. 

Now…” Tobin pauses his speech. “Is it alright if I touch you?”

Leif manages this time to speak. “Yeah.”

Tobin puts both hands on Leif’s shoulders and turns him around so they’re facing each other.

“Listen. You don’t have to be afraid to be yourself. It’s alright if you are, but that shouldn’t stop you. You don’t have to change how you act at work, but if you feel this insincere, it’s probably good if you do. And believe me, no one will mind. You’re already amazing at work, don’t get me wrong, but people deserve to see how perfect you really are. They deserve to see the Leif who isn’t quiet, but instead won’t stop rambling about the things that make him happy. They deserve to see the way your eyes light up when you’re excited, the way you bite your lip and run your hands through your hair when you’re nervous or stressed. They deserve to see the Leif who jokes around and runs through his apartment singing along to the radio. And they deserve to see that you aren’t cocky, you aren’t smug, but instead you’re broken. You’re insecure. You’re anxious and fidgety and depressed, and you’re beautiful. None of those things mean you aren’t. And most importantly, you deserve to see all those things. You deserve to not hide, to not pretend, but to be proud of who you are.”

Tobin stops speaking, but is still holding Leif and staring at him intensely. Leif isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do. 

“Thanks.” He says, cringing internally. Thanks? Thanks?! Thanks for the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me?! 

Tobin laughs a little. “Anytime, dude.”

Leif lets his head fall onto Tobin’s shoulder, and he feels Tobin move to rub his back. Leif doesn’t know how he’s feeling anymore. He mostly just feels tired. And full of love for his best friend. 

“Hey L?” Tobin asks quietly after a few moments of sitting in silence.

“Yeah?” Leif replies, muffled by Tobin’s hoodie.

“People don’t hate you.”

Leif smiles a little, because against all odds, he believes Tobin. 

“Tobes?” Leif says, still pressed up against Tobin’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Leif.”