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#but my biggest fear is like . if i took Something Else
oetscop · 1 year
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fellers i dont remember what happened last night but BOY HOWDY I DO NOT FEEL WELL !!!!!!!!!!!!
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pucksandpower · 8 months
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Ruin the Friendship
Max Verstappen x best friend!Reader
Summary: you and Max refuse to confess your feelings for each other in fear of ruining your friendship. Naturally, Max chooses to ruin every date with another man you go on instead
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You can’t remember a time when Max Verstappen wasn’t your best friend.
The two of you grew up together, playing in the streets of Hasselt since before you could walk. Your parents joke that you learned to crawl just so you could keep up with him.
As you got older, your friendship only grew stronger. You were inseparable, there for each other through all the ups and downs of childhood and adolescence. When Max’s karting career took off, you were his biggest supporter, traveling all over Europe on weekends whenever you could to cheer him on at races.
After he moved to Monaco when he joined Red Bull, Max begged you to come with him. “I can’t do this without my best friend by my side,” he said. You didn’t hesitate — there was nowhere you would rather be than with Max.
Now you live together in his apartment in Monte Carlo. Mornings are spent on his balcony overlooking the glistening Mediterranean, drinking coffee and chatting about everything and nothing. Evenings are filled with video games, movies, and dreams of the future.
You know everything about each other, from favorite foods to secret fears. You trust Max more than anyone else in the world. He’s your person, the other half of your soul. Sometimes you think you love him as more than a friend, but you’d never risk what you have. If you lost Max, you’d lose yourself.
Today is like any other day. Max is sitting next to you on the couch, focused intently on crushing you in Mario Kart. You’re trying your best, but he’s just too good.
“Yes!” Max pumps his fist in the air as he wins yet again. “Too easy!”
You roll your eyes and shove him playfully. “Whatever, I let you win.”
He laughs. “Sure you did.” His smile makes your heart skip a beat.
You’re about to suggest another round when Max’s phone rings. He grabs it off the coffee table. “It’s Christian,” he says. “Probably wants to go over strategy for the race this weekend. I better take this.”
“No problem.” You stretch your arms over your head. “I’ll make us some lunch while you talk to him.”
Max answers the call as he makes his way out to the balcony. Through the glass door you see him pacing, one hand waving animatedly as he talks. You smile and head to the kitchen.
As you rummage through the fridge, you think about the race this weekend. You couldn’t be more proud of Max and everything he’s accomplished. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t worry every time he got into that car. Still, you know racing makes him happier than anything else in the world. And his happiness is what matters most to you.
You find the ingredients for Max’s favorite sandwich — nutella and banana. As you start spreading nutella on slices of bread, you hear Max call your name from the next room.
“Y/N! Come here, I need your opinion on something!”
You poke your head out of the kitchen. “Can it wait? I’m making lunch!”
“No, it’s urgent! Just come here!” He’s smiling like he has a secret.
You laugh, wiping your nutella-covered hands on a towel. “Alright, I’m coming!”
You make your way out to the balcony, wondering what Max wants your opinion on. With him, it could be anything.
“Ok, what’s up?” You ask.
Max grins and takes your hand, his eyes twinkling. “How would you feel about being my date to the FIA Gala this year?”
You stare at Max, stunned. “Your … your date? To the FIA Gala?”
He nods, still grinning. “Yeah! It’s next month in Baku. I could really use my best friend by my side for moral support on the big Red Carpet.”
Your mind is reeling. The FIA Gala is the biggest formal event of the Formula 1 season. All the top drivers and teams come dressed to the nines to celebrate the end of the championship. Rumors always swirl about who will bring the hottest date.
And Max wants you to be his.
“Are … are you sure?” You stammer. “Wouldn’t you rather bring a model or something?”
Max scoffs. “Please. You know I hate those stuffy events. But with you there cracking jokes and making fun of everybody with me, it might actually be fun for once!”
You can’t help but smile at the thought of being on Max’s arm. “Well, when you put it like that, how can I say no?”
“Yes!” Max pumps his fist. “This is going to be epic. I’ll have my team sort all the details. All you have to do is show up looking gorgeous.” He winks.
You blush slightly. “I think I can manage that.”
Over the next few weeks, Max’s stylist comes by the apartment for dress fittings. You settle on a couture emerald gown with a daring slit up the leg. The perfect blend of classy and sexy.
Max lets out a low whistle when you emerge from your suite the night of the gala. “You look incredible,” he says, staring at you in awe.
You smooth down the front of your dress self-consciously. “So do you.” Max cuts a sharp figure in his black tuxedo.
He offers you his arm. “Shall we?”
Your stomach flutters as you take it. You still can’t believe you’re Max’s date tonight. Part of you wishes it were real instead of just for show.
As predicted, jaws drop when you walk the red carpet on Max’s arm. Cameras flash furiously around you.
“They’re gonna think you’re my new girlfriend,” Max murmurs in your ear.
You laugh. “Let them think what they want.” But secretly, you wish the rumors were true.
The night flies by in a blur of champagne, dancing, and laughter. You and Max stay by each other’s side the whole time, laughing and judging everyone’s outfits. It’s the most fun you’ve had in ages.
On the ride back to the hotel, Max rests his head on your shoulder. “Thank you for coming with me tonight,” he says. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
You kiss the top of his head. “That’s what best friends are for.”
But as you fall asleep that night, you can’t help but wonder if Max will ever see you as more than just his best friend.
***
Not long after coming back home, you’re getting ready for your first date since the FIA Gala. After seeing you all dressed up with Max, your friend Julian finally got the nerve to ask you out. You said yes, partly to stop constantly pining for Max.
You’re meeting Julian for dinner at a nice restaurant downtown. As you put the finishing touches on your makeup, Max lounges on your bed.
“I can’t believe you’re going on a date with Julian,” Max says, scowling. “That guy is so boring.”
You toss a pillow at him. “Stop it, he’s cute! I think it’ll be fun.”
Max catches the pillow and frowns. “What if I took you somewhere way better tonight instead?”
You pause your makeup application. “Wait, like a date?”
“What? No!” Max avoids your eyes. “Just as friends.”
You feel a twinge of disappointment. “Oh. Well, I already made plans with Julian.”
“Fine, go on your lame date,” Max grumbles. “But when Julian puts you to sleep talking about accounting, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
You finish getting ready then head out to meet Julian. He greets you with a bouquet of flowers. “You look beautiful,” he says.
“Thanks!” You reply. The date starts off nicely. Julian is a perfect gentleman over dinner. But as the conversation wears on, you find yourself growing bored. Max was right, Julian is really dull.
Suddenly, you get a text from Max.
SOS come quick! Emergency at the apartment!
You frown, instantly worried. “Sorry Julian, I have to go. My roommate needs me.”
Julian looks disappointed but nods in understanding. “No problem. I’ll walk you out.”
You hurry home, anxious to make sure Max is okay. You burst through the apartment door. “Max! What’s wrong? Are you alright?”
Max looks up casually from the couch. “Oh hey Y/N. What’s up?”
“What’s up? You texted me that there was an emergency!”
“Oh yeah, we ran out of gummy bears,” he says, waving an empty bag. “I was hungry.”
Your jaw drops. “Are you serious, Max? I was on my date!”
Max grins. “Oops, my bad! But I saved you from dying of boredom with that guy. How about we order a pizza instead?”
You want to be mad at him for ruining your date. But looking at his smiling face, you can’t help but laugh. “You’re impossible,” you say, plopping down next to him.
Max just winks and hands you a controller. “Now come on, let’s see if you can actually beat me in Mario Kart this time.”
And just like that, you forget all about Julian and your ruined date. Nothing is nearly as fun as spending time with your best friend.
***
A few days later, you’re getting ready for another date, this time with a guy named Levi who you met online. He’s gorgeous with tattoos and an edgy style, totally your type.
When you tell Max about the date over breakfast, he nearly chokes on his eggs. “You can’t be serious. That dude looks like a complete tool.”
You roll your eyes as you grab your purse. “Don’t pretend you know anything about him. I think he’s hot and he seems cool.”
Max crosses his arms. “Well I don’t like it. How do you know this guy isn’t a total creep?”
“I appreciate your concern,” you say, “But I’m a big girl. I can handle myself on a date.”
Max opens his mouth to retort but you hold up a hand. “Nope, I don’t want to hear it! I’m running late as it is.” You give Max a quick hug. “Don’t wait up!”
You meet Levi at a trendy speakeasy bar downtown. He looks even hotter than his Tinder pics, with arm tattoos peeking out from under his leather jacket.
“Hey gorgeous,” he says with a crooked smile. He leans in for a lingering kiss on your cheek.
You blush. “Hi yourself.” Maybe Max was wrong about this guy.
You have a great time with Levi. The drinks are strong and the conversation is easy. After a few hours, Levi asks if you want to get out of there.
“I’d love to see your apartment,” you say with a flirtatious glance.
Levi grins. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
He pays the tab and you start walking to his place. As you turn a corner, you run straight into someone, nearly falling over.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorr-Max? What are you doing here?”
Max steadies you with his hands. “Y/N! Fancy running into you!”
You stare at Max in disbelief. “Did you follow me?”
Max avoids your gaze. “What? No, of course not. I was just in the neighborhood.”
You cross your arms. “I find that hard to believe.”
You stare at him in disbelief. Levi pipes up from behind you. “Uh, do you two know each other?”
“Unfortunately yes,” you reply tightly, not taking your eyes off Max.
Max finally meets your stare, his jaw clenched. “I was worried about you, okay? This guy looks like bad news.”
You scowl at him. “That’s not your call to make. I’m allowed to go on dates without you ruining them.”
Max’s shoulders slump. “I know, I’m sorry. I just care about you and want you to be safe.” He glances at Levi again uncertainly.
You soften a bit, seeing the genuine concern in Max’s eyes. You put a hand on his arm. “I appreciate you looking out for me, but I’ll be okay. See you at home later.”
You turn to Levi, who looks understandably confused. You loop your arm through his. “Shall we keep going?”
But as you walk away, the playful mood from earlier is gone. Levi tries to make conversation, but you’re preoccupied thinking about Max and the sad look on his face.
Levi invites you up to his apartment still, but your heart’s not in it anymore. You make an excuse and head home, feelings conflicted.
Max is on the couch when you storm in. “Hey! How was the date?”
You don’t answer, just grab a pillow and start smacking him with it.
“Ow!” Max holds up his hands, laughing. “What was that for?”
“You know exactly what it was for, you sneaky jerk! Sabotaging my date again.”
Max grins up at you impishly. “Maybe I just happened to be in the neighborhood.”
You keep hitting him with the pillow, but end up collapsing on the couch next to him, both of you breathless with laughter.
“You’re the worst,” you say between giggles.
Max drapes his arm around your shoulders. “Yeah but admit it, you love me anyway.”
You sigh and nestle against him. “Unfortunately yes, I do.”
And you know that no matter how many dates Max sabotages, he’ll always be your number one.
***
After the last two disastrous dates, you decide to take a break from dating for a while. But your coworker Jess convinces you to give it one more shot with a guy named Liam she met at her gym. Reluctantly, you agree to meet up with him.
The day of the date arrives and you get ready halfheartedly, already anticipating Max’s attempts to sabotage it. Speaking of Max, you realize you haven’t seen him all day, which is odd.
You find a note on the kitchen counter:
Had to fly to Milton Keynes last minute for work. Will be gone all weekend. Have fun on your date.
<3 Max
You’re surprised but also a bit disappointed. While his meddling is annoying, you’re so used to Max being a constant presence in your dating life. It will feel weird doing this without him.
You push that thought aside as you head out to meet Liam at a burger place. When you arrive, you’re pleasantly surprised. Liam is handsome, charming, and easy to talk to.
After lunch, you go on a walk through a nearby park. You’re having such a nice time, you don’t even think about Max. At the end of the date, Liam asks to see you again.
“I’d love to,” you say with a smile. Liam leans in for a sweet goodbye kiss.
As you turn to go, you hear a familiar voice yelling your name. “Y/N! There you are!”
You whirl around to see Max jogging towards you, slightly out of breath.
“Max? What are you doing here? I thought you had that work thing.”
Max shrugs nonchalantly. “Oh, it got canceled last minute.”
Liam looks between you two, confused. “Wait, is this the dude you live with?”
Before you can respond, Max strides up and vigorously shakes Liam’s hand. “Max Verstappen, nice to meet you! I’m Y/N’s … boyfriend.”
Your eyes nearly bug out of your head. “My WHAT?”
“Yeah babe, your boyfriend,” Max says, draping an arm around you. “Sorry I couldn’t make our date today, got held up at work. But who’s this guy you’re with?”
Liam stares wide-eyed at Max’s arm around you. “Uh, I should get going. See you around, Y/N.” He scurries off.
You shove Max away from you, fuming. “What the hell was that? Why did you pretend to be my boyfriend?”
Max shoves his hands in his pockets sheepishly. “I just couldn’t stand the idea of you dating that dude.”
“So you LIED? You scared him off forever!” You poke Max’s chest angrily.
He grabs your hand. “I’m sorry! I don’t know why I did that. I was jealous and I wasn’t thinking straight.”
You search his face and see real remorse in his eyes. Your anger starts to fade.
“Jealous? Why would you be jealous, Max?” Your voice comes out barely above a whisper.
He takes a shaky breath. “Because the truth is, I’m in love with you. As more than a friend. I have been for a long time. Seeing you with those other guys made me realize I couldn’t stand not being with you myself.”
You stand frozen, stunned into silence. Max rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Please say something.”
You finally find your voice again. “Took you long enough, idiot.”
And you grab his shirt and kiss him deeply. Max grins against your lips, wrapping you in his arms.
“No more sabotaging my dates,” you murmur.
“Deal,” Max whispers. “As long as I can be your one and only from now on.”
You answer by kissing him again under the setting sun. At long last, you finally have your dream guy.
***
The next morning, you wake up in Max’s arms, still unable to believe the incredible turn your relationship has taken. Last night after the park, you came home and talked for hours, admitting your true feelings while cuddled up on the couch. You kissed and kissed until you both finally fell asleep tangled together.
Now in the light of day, your worries start to creep in. What if this ruins your friendship? What if you’re not meant to be more than best friends?
You untangle yourself from Max’s embrace and go to make coffee. He finds you a few minutes later on the balcony overlooking the sea.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Max says, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He kisses your shoulder.
You turn in his arms to face him. “Can we talk about this?”
He frowns slightly. “Talk about what?”
You gesture between the two of you. “This new aspect of our relationship. I’m just worried it will mess things up. Maybe we should take a step back and think things through?”
Max’s face falls. “You’re having second thoughts?”
“No, not second thoughts exactly. I care about you so much Max, as my best friend. I don’t want to ruin that.”
Max caresses your cheek. “You could never ruin our friendship. It means everything to me too. But we both deserve to be happy, and I know we can make each other happy in this new way as well. I’m willing to take that chance if you are.”
You search his earnest eyes. He’s right — your connection runs so much deeper than just friendship. And you trust Max. If anyone is worth taking this risk for, it’s him.
You take his hand and intertwine your fingers. “You’re right. I want to make this work.”
Relief washes over Max’s face. He leans in and kisses you softly. “I promise you won’t regret it. I’ll be the best boyfriend ever!”
You laugh. “Well in that case, take me on our first official date tonight!”
“It would be my pleasure.” Max strokes your hair. “Thank you for taking a chance on me. On us. I know we’re meant to be, schatje. I’ve loved you all my life.”
“I’ve loved you all my life too,” you whisper. And you know that no matter what happens, your bond with Max will never break.
The future has yet to be written, but you’re ready to face it hand-in-hand with the man who has always had your heart.
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multifariousqueer · 9 months
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Ooo for a Nate request could you do something like Nate x shy virgin reader or something like that ?🤭
Ofc darling!!🩷
Warnings: smut, mentions of bruising and abuse, deflowering, sub! Reader, strong language, nate being rough, idk I think that’s it
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The warm autumn air brushed your skin as Nate’s hand snaked its way around your waist. He had began walking you to school during the summer so that you didn’t get kidnapped. That was one of his biggest fears, you getting kidnapped and assaulted. He would offer to drive you but you liked to walk when the weather was nice:
“So I’ll pick you up at 3, okay?” He spoke. It wasn’t a question so much as it was a statement.
You knew not to test Nate after seeing what he did to Maddy and Cassie. Nate would never intentionally hurt you physically, but hey, accidents happen right?
“Okay” you said softly. Nate loved when you would speak softly and do whatever he wanted.
He smiled and led you into the building, where he saw Maddy who gave you both a death glare:
*Flashback*
“You know he’s toxic, right? He held a gun to my head, are you fucking stupid? Why would you date him?” Maddy said to you once she found out about your relationship
“I’m sorry” you said in tears. You had always looked up to Maddy and seeing her mad at you made you want to die.
“You will be” she said before leaving. That was the last time you guys spoke three months ago.
Since that day, Nate became more and more protective over you. He was always the jealous and possessive type but this pushed it over the edge. Nate loved Maddy but he loved you more, and if anything happened to you, he would kill whoever hurt you with a baseball bat.
Nate always had his hand around your waist or holding your other hand as he carried your books in his abnormally large hand. If anyone looked at you funny, he would shoot them a death glare and grip you tighter, sometimes even leaving bruises. Nate liked leaving bruises because it proved that you belonged to him.
He watched as you migrated over to your friends and watched in awe at how pretty you looked. Your hair was in a ponytail and your clothes were tailored to your body perfectly, your smile lit up the room as you giggled at one of your girl friends jokes.
Nate barred you from having guy friends that weren’t his because he didn’t like the idea of someone hitting on you, Nate took offense whenever someone tried to take what was his. To him, you were his toy, his object of affection that only belonged to him and no one else. He admired how clean and untouched you were, never having a serious relationship before him and never even having sex at all. Thoughts of you in compromising positions and in outfits that only he could see littered his mind throughout the day and made his pants tighten. He couldn’t wait for what he had planned after school.
*Flashback*
Nate and you had gone to the mall one day after school. You browsed for a new pair of shoes but Nate had gone for other, more promiscuous reasons. He took you into Victoria Secret and bought you a bunch of lingerie in pink:
“Here. Try this” he said, holding up a stringy pair of underwear with a bra that had a bow on the breast.
You eyed it nervously before hesitantly agreeing to try it on.
You tried it on and Nate’s breath hitched. He pulled you in between his legs and grabbed the bow on the bra and pulled it, leaving your breasts exposed.
Nate pulled your sensitive buds in his mouth while you let out a small moan:
“Please not here” you breathed
Nate bit down on your nipple and gave you a look that told you to just go along with it. He rolled your nipple in between his teeth as you let out small moans and breaths, the fitting room getting a bit hot as his mouth moved from your nipples to your mouth:
“I don’t wanna take your virginity here, babe” he breathed
“Than where?” you asked
Nate whisked you up over his shoulder as he took off the lingerie and replaced it with your normal clothes. He walked up to the register, still holding you and said:
“These please”
You walked out of the mall and he ushered you into his truck, your outfit riding up a bit as you slid into the seat.
It seemed like you would never use that set but the day finally came. He took you to his house where he had a picnic in the backyard:
“Hi, y/n!” Nate’s mother said
“Hi, Mrs. Jacob’s” you answered with a smile
Nate’s family loved you because you made Nate seriously happy and you were respectful, unlike Maddy who disrespected them all the time.
Nate ushered you into the back and sat you down gracefully.
“Aww Nate, thank you so much” you cooed
“Mhmmm anything for you, babe” he spoke
You two chatted about any and everything, mostly about football and how he had found his fathers tapes:
“That’s horrible. What can I do to help?” You asked
“Well, now that you mention it-“ Nate started before lifting you up bridal style and carrying you to the bedroom.
You were innocent and Nate knew that. You had never done anything sexual with anyone in your life:
“Have you ever done this before?” Nate asked
“no” you said, feeling 1 inch tall
“Have you ever touched yourself?” He asked, looking down at you as he placed you on the bed.
“Ummm… yes” you said, hesitating to answer honestly because you were afraid that he wouldn’t be happy
“Hm. Okay” he said before laying you down on your back and spreading your legs
Nate pulled your panties off and spit on your core, sending low whimpers from your mouth into the space. He grabbed your neck and whispered in your ear:
“Can I fuck you?”
“yeah. just be gentle” you begged
Nate scoffed and said:
“always”
He rubbed circles along your clit as moans escaped your lips, sliding two fingers in and pumping them gently:
“Fuck you’re so tight for me” he breathed
Your mind was preoccupied on how full you felt. If his fingers were this big, you couldn’t imagine how big his cock was. Luckily, you didn’t have to imagine long because as your orgasm was approaching, Nate stopped, leaving you empty and frustrated.
“Not yet, cutie” he smiled.
Nate pulled out his hard cock as you watched in awe at the sheer size of it. He saw the look in your eyes and said:
“You’ll get used to it”
He pushed himself inside of you as you let out a moan of pain. You gripped onto his bicep as you felt like you were being split open by him. He let out a loud groan as he felt your warm walls grip onto him. His eyes found yours as tears filled your eyes and he grabbed your hand:
“Do you wanna stop?”
“I- ughh- no” you said through tears
Nate paused for a moment to give you time to adjust to him. You tapped him to let him know that he could keep going and he did. His hips moved at a slow pace as your face went from an expression of pain to pleasure. His pace picked up as moans escaped your lips and his mouth found your neck and chest, leaving large bruises on both. He wanted the world to know that he had you the night before, in such a vulnerable position underneath him.
His pace went from fast, to very fast as the vulgar sound of skin slapping and your tight cunt drove him to the edge. His eyebrows furrowing as his orgasm approached in a wave. He looked down at you and placed his hand on your neck as he angled his cock up so that it was touching your g spot. He thrusted upwards in a way that made your walls twitch and grip onto him. Your back arched and your mouth parted as your orgasm approached fast:
“I think I’m gonna cum” you moaned
“Not yet.” He said
“Please?” you pleaded
Nate pulled out his cock and you whimpered.
“Since you wanna act like a slut and not listen to me, I’ll treat you like the slut you are” he breathed before flipping you onto your stomach and holding onto your neck.
His thrusts were rough and merciless as you whined into the pillow, his grip tightening on your neck as his thrusts became sloppier and your orgasm became closer and closer.
“Cum. Now.” He barked
You did exactly that as a wave of pleasure washed over you and made you unable to move. You lay there, a moaning mess as your boyfriend released ropes of his cum into you, marking you as his.
“I’m sorry for being so rough” Nate said breathily
“Mmmmm it’s okay” you moaned
He picked you up and laid you on the mattress properly as he left to grab a cool towel and your favorite big shirt of his. You laid there reminiscing on how amazing your first time was.
Nate cleaned you up and joined you on the mattress, pulling you into his embrace.
“Nate?” You asked
“Yeah?” He said
“Can we do that again?” You asked innocently
He chuckled and said:
“Maybe tomorrow, Princess”
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surielstea · 1 month
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“Forgive me, Darling.”
Based on this request.
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Pairing: Rhysand x Fem!Reader
Summary: After Rhys undermines Reader in front of the Hewn City, Reader makes him grovel before she accepts his apologies.
Warnings: Smut | Minors DNI | 18+ | p in v | apology sex | dom sub dynamics | riding | oral (f receiving) | Reader making Rhys grovel | multi-orgasm | cream-pie | mating press
A. Note: This was really an excuse for me to write some Rhys smut… RhysandWeek got to me I fear, half of it is smut so enjoy 😼🙏
4.7k words
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It was an effort to sit next to the High Lord tonight. Even with Winter Solstice so steadily approaching we couldn't stop being at each other's throats for the past week. The others in the Inner Circle were sick of our tedious bickering by now, and the rest of the Court might as well be too.
It was clear to the citizens of the Hewn City that we weren't getting along the best when we sat in our own separate thrones, while I typically opted to sit in Rhys' lap or he on the armrest while I took the main throne.
But it was the citizens of the Hewn City themselves that had cleaved our relationship right in two. While I was a natural sympathizer for these people, Rhys seemed to have half a thought about their well-being.
It drove me mad how easily he could cherish and love something, then turn around and loathe something else with the same fierceness. It was manipulative and vexing.
"Your grace," Keir drawled with a low bow and Rhys lifted a brow at Morrigan's poor excuse of a father.
"What is it?" The High Lord mused, the perfect mask of bored coldness in his violet eyes.
"The court was wondering if you'd be donating to the gift drive this season, all funds would go directly to the orphaned children of course," Keir said with a tone that sent shivers down my spine.
Rhys opened his mouth to say no, but I spoke first. "Of course Keir. We're not monsters," I say, tossing my mate a lethal glare.
"Are you mad? No," He looked to Keir. "I will not be donating, but you can tell them their queen will have a heavy chunk coming from her paycheck," Rhys bit back and the verbal assault immediately bruised her, tearing her down for speaking over him in a place like this was one thing but, in front of Keir? Using him as a device to get under my skin? It was a new level of low.
I bit back a snarl. "You're both insufferable," I stand. "And you bore me," I step down the dais with a careful queenlike elegance that came with only decades of practice. "I'm going home, perhaps finish some last-minute gift shopping," I shrug, my black gown shimmering like the stars in the sky with each move I made.
"I'll join you momentarily," Rhys said with a hand up as if to pause me. I didn't wait for him to finish before I winnowed back to Velaris, alone.
I was born in the Hewn City, and though I knew it was best if Rhys put on a mask in front of that court, it was hard to watch my mate who had one of the biggest hearts I'd ever seen be so cruel, be exactly what those citizens had expected him to be. A monster. A shiver went down my spine at the thought. It was a part of my role as High Lady to back whatever Rhys decided, but it was a part of his role to do the same with me. And when it came to the children of the Hewn City I drew the line, they had done no wrong, and half of them were too young to even realize that their king was a halfbreed, much less why that meant he was seen as lesser. They were innocent, doomed for failure since the beginning because of who their parents were. I sympathized with the orphans and knew exactly how much a donation would've mean to me because I used to be one of them.
Rhys winnowed into the sitting room, writhing shadows feathering off of his dark tunic as he whirled towards me, brows drawn.
"What'd you do that for?" He frowns at me and I mirror it.
"Children Rhys? Should I even dare ask when it might end?" I prop my hands up on his hips and he sighs, rubbing at his eyes.
"You know how I handle those things, I tell Keir no and then donate anonymously," He explained, annunciating every word like I was hard of hearing. The tone set me off. He was right, that's how we did it every year for solstice since Rhys became High Lord.
But tonight was my breaking point after weeks of needless arguments. "Yes, Rhysand. I know." I grit my teeth and his frown deepens as he hears me use his full name, something I always did unconsciously when I wanted him out of my face.
"Then why did you say we'd donate?" He lifts a brow and my shoulders are practically up to my ears with the tension building.
"Because, Rhysand, I'm so sick of you pretending to be someone that you're not," Again, the name makes him flinch. "I know how much you're capable of loving, and I understand you trying to protect us but I can't bear seeing you so ruthless to those people," I explain and he lets out a long sigh.
"You don't seem to understand the impossible situation I'm in." He closes his eyes, needing to rest them if only for a moment.
"What don't I understand?" I grab his jacket, gently gripping it as I stare up at him. "I've been beside you every step of the way, talk to me Rhysand. Or this isn't going to work," I gesture between us and his back shoots ramrod straight, at the underlying threat of taking a break from each other. He loathed the idea, and would rather argue for the rest of his life with me than not have me in his life at all.
"Don't say stuff like that," He murmured, his voice clipped like he couldn't quite breathe right.
"Then think twice before undermining me in front of a male like Keir," I scowl. "Hewn City or not, you're not allowed to silence me." I brush past him, my shoulder ramming into his bicep as I stalk down the hall to our bedroom, shutting the door with a resounding thud, but Rhys remains pinned in the same spot, cursing himself over and over again for his foolish behavior.
Over the next few days, Rhys had done everything in his power to apologize. Giving me countless gifts, and heartfelt monologues about how sorry he was, he even donated a good portion of his gold to the Hewn City orphanage. But I didn't forgive him, because I was certain he had yet to understand how much this truly meant to me. Besides, a small part of me liked watching him grovel.
At dinner with the rest of the inner circle later that evening, the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. Rhys had reached for my hand beneath my table twice now and I shook him off both times. We had both silently agreed on pretending everything was normal between us in front of the others, not wanting to worry them about the health of their high lady and lord relationship. So I put on a mask, as he often did, and pretended everything was fine.
"I'll see you in a few days for solstice eve," I hum as Morrigan gives me a hug while standing halfway out the door in the cold.
"I got you an amazing gift!" She beamed while backing away and I gave her an incredulous look. There was no arguing that Morrigans gifts weren't unique and personalized, but they were far from amazing.
"I'm sure you did," I hum. "Goodnight, Mor," I lean against the archway of the foyer and she gives me a wave before slipping out the door. Once everyone was officially gone I turned back to the sitting room where Rhys was sitting, staring at me curiously like I was a thing to be analyzed. "What?" I bark, my smile dropping.
"You keep calling me Rhysand," He stands from his seat, looking at me with furrowed brows, his wings drooping slightly, nearly dragging on the floor as he strides towards me but stops an arm's length away.
"That's your name, is it not? Or would you like to argue about that as well?" I arch a brow and his frown deepens.
"No, I just— It's Rhys. It's always been Rhys between us, in fact, you're the reason everyone calls me Rhys." He claims and I cross my arms over my chest, narrowing my gaze on him.
"This is what has been bothering you? This? Out of everything that has been going on, me saying your full name has gotten under your skin the most?" I scowl, unbelieving of his childish behavior.
"I'm sorry." He whispers, defeated.
"I know," I state.
"Then why?" His voice wavers. "Why can't I be forgiven?" He takes another step forward, nearly closing the distance between us if it weren't for his height.
"Because I don't think you've learned your lesson yet." I snarl and his brows crease, his familiar violet eyes glazing over.
"No please, I have darling," He cups my cheeks in his hands. "I have. I'm sorry." His hands were so gentle when holding my face as if I might break if he was any rougher.
I debated giving in for a moment, if only because my desire to feel his lips on mine again would be comparable to heaven— but I stayed strong, my own pride willing me to break away from his touch. "I know," I repeat, before walking down the hall and into our bedroom, closing the door behind me loud enough for him to get the hint that I didn't want to see him again that night.
A few days had passed and it was solstice eve, I was in the midst of getting ready for bed when there was a soft knock on my door. I didn't turn when the door opened, I knew who it was before he was even down the hall.
Rhys doesn't say anything, just stares as I take out my earrings and unlace my dress. I didn't mind him looking as I stripped down and changed into a soft, midnight blue nightgown, perhaps I was rubbing in the fact that he couldn't have me. Once I was finished I walked over to my vanity and began to comb through my hair.
"I can feel you staring, Rhysand." I finally spoke and I swore he growled at the name. I ignore it. He pushes off the doorframe and enters the room.
"What can I do it make it better?" I turn towards him to find him directly behind me, looking down at me with beseeching eyes. "I'm begging you," He whispers, our proximity so close that his nose was brushing against mine.
"You're begging me?" I raise a brow.
"Gods, yes darling. Do you want me to get on my knees and plead?" He suggests and I just stare at him as a reply, waiting.
His brows raise a fraction when he realizes I'm serious, and I cross my arms impatiently. It takes him a moment, but eventually, he drops down onto his knees.
His hands come to my hips and he looks up at me, his chin propped up on my stomach as he lets out a soft, "Please."
"Please what?" I place my hands on his shoulders, one of them finding its way into his dark, midnight-black hair.
"Please, forgive me." He murmurs. "Please, don't make us take a break." He continues, his hands on my hips tightening slightly. "And please, let me love you the way you deserve."
He had once told me he'd only ever fall to his knees for his crown, yet here he was, bending for me with only sincere affection in his eyes and regret forever making me feel like he deserved this.
I grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him up, crashing his lips onto mine. I kiss him, deeply, with the passion and desire that had been building up for the past week. I had forgotten how addictive he was and didn't realize how badly I needed him until he leaned into the kiss and filled the gaping void inside of me with warmth.
"I missed you so damned much, darling," He sighs and I smirk against his lips.
"Yeah?" I slip from his grasp and take a seat on the bed. "Why don't you come over here and show me?" I purr, letting my legs fall open as he prowls towards me and again, gets down onto his knees.
I smile devilishly at him as he begins kissing and nipping at my thighs, beginning to make amends with his mouth rather than words.
His covetous hands slip beneath my short nightgown, gripping my hips and pulling me to the edge of the bed. I lay back onto my elbows, propped up enough to watch him as he made his way up my thighs.
Ever so gently, he pulls at my undergarments and I lift my hips for access so he can further slip the panties down my legs. With reverence his eyes flick down to my glistening core, then back up to my eyes, his gaze holding a certain emotion I don't think I've ever seen the High Lord hone before.
I nod my head and he wastes no time before placing an open mouth kiss to my folds, then dragging it through my slit in a slow, savoring lap. I let out a soft moan at the feeling of his warm tongue finding my clit with a languid stroke. My fingers weave into his hair as he begins to suck on the bundle of nerves, sending me into a spiral.
I looked down at him but he was already staring up at me. But once he sees my lustful expression he can't seem to control himself before he dips down and spears his tongue into me. I release a breathy moan at the intense feeling. How could I have ever robbed myself of this for so long? Gods it was evil the things he could do with that mouth.
His fingers dug into the flesh of my hips as he devoured me like a man starved, his tongue-twisting and curling against a sensitive spot that sent me closer to the edge. I was unable to stop myself from grinding up onto his face, and he let out a guttural groan as I did so, because he knew then that I wanted him, that he was making me feel this good.
I maintained eye contact with him as he continued to drive me wild, violet irises filled with both apologies as well as desire. He draws one of my legs over his shoulder to deepen his access and I pull at his hair.
"That's it, gods yes," I gripe as his tongue toys with the sensitive area nestled deep inside of me.
My head falls back to look up at the ceiling as he brings one of his hands down and his thumb begins to roll over my clit. I whimper at the stimulation, my toes curling as he begins rubbing tight circles. I buck my hips at the intense feeling and he groans against the feeling of me tugging on his hair, the sound reverberating up my spine. "That's my girl," He purrs as my release steadily approaches. "Come on my face, fall apart for me my darling," He says, his voice tender as he coaxes your climax to draw closer.
I couldn't deny his demand, my pleasure too high to even debate it. My peak reaches and with a cry, my body convulses and an intense wave of pleasure crashes through me. He supports me, his arms around my thighs grounding me, his eyes never leaving mine as he removes his tongue from my entrance and softly laps up my dripping folds, his mouth shimmering in my essence. But it was only pride in his eyes as I came down from my high that I recognized, pride and, something far more primal than human.
"I forgot how good you taste," He whispers against my core, cleaning every lost drop from me with his mouth.
Slowly, he backed away, licking his lips that were glistening in my arousal.
"I want to ride you," I confess and his brows shoot up with carnal desire. Yes, that was exactly what I wanted.
I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down onto the bed, his head falling into the pillows as I flipped over him and began working at the buttons of his shirt.
His hands joined mine, helping me by thrashing it off. I smile and attach my lips to his tanned skin, my tongue running over the lines of his tattoo while he frees himself from the confines of his pants. My mouth waters at the sight of his hard cock already leaking with need. I bite at my lower lip as I grip his length, spreading his pre and using it as a natural lubricant. I pumped him once, then twice. My grip was rough and tight, his head fell back into the pillows as he groaned in pleasure.
"Oh, my darling," He sighs out as I press my thumb to his sensitive tip.
His hands come to my thighs as I lift onto my knees and begin dragging his cock through my folds, prepping him for an easy entrance. I swore he got harder the moment my arousal met his.
He looked back at me, his eyes low-lidded. "You look like a goddess," He breathes, his voice husky with restraint. I knew he wanted to push me down onto him, to take dominance and flip me onto my back. But he reigned in his control and kept himself at bay for now.
I smile devilishly at him as I aligned his throbbing cock with my entrance. His eyes flicked down to the view and I froze. "Look at me," I direct and his violet eyes flick back up to my gaze, and I watch his expression as I sink myself down to him so very slowly, inch by inch.
His face contorts into a mix of pleasure and agony. "This is torture," He hisses, his fingers digging into my thighs in an effort to keep restraint. "Please, darling," He whispered the plea and I couldn't help but fold under his yearning gaze.
"Please what?" I say through a soft moan, the stretch of him painful at first yet turned into pure pleasure moments later.
"Please, take all of me and move, now baby," He pants out and I smirk.
"I'm barely halfway down and I've got you this worked up?" I tilt my head demeaningly and he lets out a low, guttural growl.
"You know exactly what you're doing to me, so please, you can take it," He begs and I smile.
"I know I can, but can you?" I murmur, tracing lines along his torso, following his dark tattoo.
"Oh I can," He sighs, his eyes glinting with amusement and I realize he wasn't strained from needing more, he was in agony because his control was thinning. "But if you don't take all of me right now, I'm going to flip us over and fuck you until we both forget our own names." He warns and I smirk, leaning forward— in doing so making him slip deeper inside of me, the new angle eliciting a soft moan from me.
"Is that right?" I purr, my nails trailing down the side of his neck.
"Last chance, baby." His jaw feathers. "Sit down or I'm taking over," He snarls, gripping my hips tighter, prepared to make true of his threat. I smile, leaning closer and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
I do as he says anyway, not wanting to take any chances. I let gravity make my last movement and allow myself to take all of his length, every last inch until he was fully sheathed inside of me and I was seated on him fully.
He lets out a long, deep moan, his head falling back into the pillows. "Gods, such a good girl," He praises, taking a few deep breaths and regaining his control.
Slowly I begin to rock my hips back and forth over him and he jerks at the movement, his hands tightening on my thighs as he begins to guide me over him, showing me exactly how fast he wanted me to go.
He lets out a string of curses as I set a pace, rolling and grinding over him, my thighs already burning with the movements. "Keep your eyes on me, yeah?" he says and I nod, as he slowly lifts me up on him, then pushes me back down, sending me into a rhythm. I began to bounce up and down on him, his thick length burrowing deep inside of me with each descent.
I keep eye contact with him, tears welling in mine as he lifts me faster, my breasts bouncing with the movement, and his captivating eyes don't miss it. "So beautiful," He whispers softly, his voice hoarse and strained as a string of moans escapes me.
"You like that baby?" He purrs, his gaze only sultry. I reply with a moan and a wicked smile forms over his lips as he pushes me to go faster, slamming me down into his hips, his tip brushing over my cervix.
He was enjoying this far too much, he was savoring the way I sounded, the way my body reacted. So desperate for a second release. I lean down, changing the angle and allowing him to hit my most sensitive point with the thick head of his cock.
"Gods, you feel so good wrapped around me like this," He purrs, his breath hot against my neck as his canines scrape against it.
I continue to fuck myself on him, my vision blurring as he abuses that sacred spot inside of me. "I'm close," I grunt, clenching my hands into fists as he spears into me, lifting his hips to help me reach that high.
"Yeah? Going to come, love?" He purrs into the shell of my ear and I nod, tears now slipping down my cheeks despite all my efforts to be in control.
"Yes, I can't control it much longer," I mewl, burying my nose into the crook of his neck.
He smiles, wrapping his arms around me. "That's okay, come for me darling," He allows and I find release, I finally meet my second orgasm.
"Rhys," I moan loud enough for the next room over to hear. Not Rhysand, but Rhys. The male's length twitches at the sound he so desperately had been needing to hear for the past week.
He didn't let me come down from my high for even a moment as he flipped me over onto my back, taking full control as he guided my legs up to my sides, folding me into a mating press.
"I'm not done with you yet, darling," He drawls huskily and my heart pounds against my ribs hard.
He pulls out to his tip and for a moment I'm gifted a kernel of relief, but it quickly ended when he pushed into me, spearing hilt deep as his heavy balls slapped into my ass. Arousal dripped down my thighs as he continued the movement and I turned into a moaning mess.
"You're so tight," He grunted out between thrusts. "Say my name again," He orders and I open my teary eyes to see him above me, his dark wings spread over us. Gods, he looked like a fucking devil like this. "Rhys," I plea and he smiles wolfishly.
"That's my girl, taking me so well," He praises, continuing to piston inside my puffy, overstimulated cunt.
He reaches down and I swear my heart stops as he makes contact with my pink clit. I whimper, my bottom lip wobbling as he pushes me towards yet another orgasm. "Come on baby, squeeze my cock," He demands and I writhe beneath him, clenching every inch of his length as he brushes my cervix repeatedly. His words and groans are a constant stream of encouragement as I hurtle toward my third orgasm.
I let out a loud, broken cry as my climax rips through me, each one more intense than the last. "Please, please tell me you're close," I beg as he lets out a choked groan, his movements becoming more and more erratic as control slips from his grasp. "Fuck, I am baby, I'm close," He pants out and I mewl his name desperately.
"Rhys, Rhys," I murmur like a chant, my mind too fucked out to think of anything else, just him.
"Look at me, I want you to watch while I come inside of you." He purred and my stomach twisted at his filthy words. My hands come around to his shoulders and I dig my nails into the muscle, clawing them down his back at the intense, unrelenting thrusting.
With a feral, desperate groan he buries his nose into my neck and finds his release, his warm seed spilling inside of me.  He shakes and trembles at the weight of his climax, he collapses down onto me, his body heavy and spent. His face was still buried in my neck as he regained his breath. "Fuck, I love you so much," He confesses as the sounds of our breathing fill the room.
"I love you, too," I whisper hoarsely, my voice shot from screaming his name. He nuzzles into my neck, placing gentle kisses along my collarbone slowly guiding my legs down and pulling from my entrance. "I'm sorry baby, I know you wanted to be in control but I— I can't help myself around you," He murmurs and I smile, pulling him into me for a loving kiss.
"Don't apologize, felt so good," I murmur tiredly. "Maybe we should argue more often," I add and he frowns at the idea and I giggle. "I missed you."
His eyes light up with pure adoration. "I missed you too," He hums, easing into the bed beside me and gathering me into his arms. "Now let's get you cleaned up."
The rush of solstice has passed and everything has returned to normal— well, almost everything.
The Court of Nightmares was teeming with its usual negative energy, the air thick with it. I had been seated in my own throne again, not quite ready to take up Rhysand’s lap in front of all the subjects again.
“My Lord,” Keir bowed low before the dais, then turned to me and gave me a simple bow of his head. Rhys gripped the arms of his throne at the action but remained calm all the same.
“What?” The high lord snarled.
“The price of the renovations of the homes in the slums are steadily increasing, to something far greater than what we can afford with the money you’ve so graciously given.” He hums and I sit up. I grew up in the slums, I would’ve taken a man’s life for the opportunity to proceed with the renovation plans I had given Rhys a few days ago, would’ve taken a lot more than a life to give to that community, actually.
“Then we’ll triple the funds,” I state and Keir casts me a glance, then looks back to Rhys. I wanted to rip his face off. I was seated on a throne before his people, I had the power to tear this entire court down and yet he treats me with such disrespect and contempt.
“Why are you still here?” Rhys asked the steward. “My High Lady has just answered your issue, did she not?” Rhys tilts his head with creased brows.
“Of course, my lord,” Keir bows to the male, and something in his spine locks and I know, know that Rhys’s talons had captured Keirs mind and was prepared to shatter it, until Keir turned to me and bowed at the waist, then lower, nearly falling to his knees.
“Dismissed.” Rhys hummed, waving his hand and releasing the males mind.
I smile as I watch him leave, and settled a little deeper into my throne. Oh, I liked this a little too much.
A flicker of Rhysand’s darkness curled caressed up my neck, to trace the contours of my jaw. I turn to look at him and give him a wicked smile, he mirrors it and we turn back to the Nightmare of a court we ruled over, together.
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harryslittlefreakk · 3 months
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favourite crime 2
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summary: harry whisks y/n away for a romantic weekend, but when feelings and questions turn into actions, their relationship only gets more complicated
warnings: smut (protected sex, oral f receiving, choking, spanking, cockwarming) angst, mentions of cheating, forbidden love, age gap
wordcount: 7.3k
a/n: thank you SO much for all the love and feedback on the first part 🙈 i can’t cope. SORRY this took so long to post. please let me know if you enjoyed this one!!! love you <3
(as always it’s not proofread yet so proceed with caution)
special mention to this series’ biggest fan, my homegirl @harryscumcloth who has helped me with this a million times AND may have beat me if this wasn’t posted sooner <3
favourite crime masterlist | main masterlist | taglist
You were nestled in the corner of a quiet pub, worlds away from anyone who might recognise you or Harry, yet still almost jumping out of your skin when anyone met your eye. The armchair you were curled up in was rugged and worn, the padding molded to the shape of every person that had been there before you. Although not the venue you’d pick for a steamy weekend break, the B&B was cozy and welcoming, and somehow it felt even more romantic than a five-star sex hotel. The gentle murmur of distant conversations and the clinking of glasses pulled your attention away from your drink, your eyes scanning across the room until they landed on Harry’s.
Warm bulbs cast a dim glow over his face, the knit of his brows subtle as he stared at you, though he was clearly somewhere else. He’d been going crazy since he last saw you, the memories of the way he made you fall apart at the forefront of his mind. It fuelled a fire within him that his own fears kept putting out. He was burning then frozen, burning then frozen, over and over again.
You were young and needed to date properly, not be someone’s secret. And he couldn’t be your secret, wouldn’t allow himself to darken you with a warped and forbidden affair. But he couldn’t think of anything but you, the way your walls gripped at his fingers, the look in your eyes as he kissed you, the pink of your cheeks after you came. He was totally infatuated with you, yet he knew this was as far as anything could go.
You watched him for a while, waiting for him to speak up. The drive had been mostly quiet, neither of you knowing exactly how to express what you were thinking. Until Bonnie Raitt’s I Cant Make You Love Me came on the radio and two hands shot out to change the station. Harry’s eyes met yours for a second as his fingers wrapped around your wrist, a soft chuckle slipping out. He guided your hand to his thigh, his touch hovering until your thumb started to caress the fabric of his trousers.
“No sad songs in my car,” he teased, eyes fixed on the road. “Put one of your playlists on.”
You picked up your phone, momentarily feeling stupid and young as you scrolled through your Spotify. You had no idea what music Harry liked, and you weren’t about to embarrass yourself by displaying a horrific taste in music. He’d somehow noticed your internal panic, rolling his eyes in jest. “Just put on your on repeat. I wanna see what music you like,” he grinned.
You scrolled through your Spotify with a furrowed brow, your indecisive fingers hovering over the screen. a smirk playing on his lips, watched her struggle. "We’ll be there before you pick something.”
"It's important, Harry. I have to find a playlist that doesn’t have High School Musical in."
He chuckled, shaking his head. "For real?”
"Yes! What's wrong with that?" you laughed, pulling your hand away from his leg.
"Well, for a start," Harry began, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. “You’re not twelve.”
Your cheeks flushed, but you couldn't help but giggle. "Hey, at least I have variety. You probably listen to dad rock and indie songs that you think will make girls fancy you.”
"Touché," he said, holding up a hand in surrender. "But at least I don’t have the music taste of a pre-teen.”
You rolled your eyes, finally settling on a song. As the first notes played, Harry groaned exaggeratedly. “Just because you have High School Musical in your playlist, doesn’t mean you should play it.”
You grinned, holding up your phone as a mock microphone. "Come on, admit it. You love it."
Harry shook his head, unable to keep a straight face. "You're impossible."
“You’re staring at me,” Harry said finally, pulling you from your daydream.
“You’ve been staring at me since we sat down,” you laughed. “I only looked just now.”
Harry smiled softly, patting his lap in a signal for you to cosy up to him. You stood up, quietly moving around the table, your eyes never leaving Harry.
He opened his arms as you approached, taking a hold of your hand as you settled onto his lap, curling up against him. Harry's arms instinctively wrapped around your waist, his thoughts momentarily forgotten. The comfort of the embrace was immediate, a perfect fit that seemed to melt away the distance that had separated you moments before.
You listened to the steady beat of his heart as Harry pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your back.
“I know what you’re thinking, Harry,” you whispered, glancing down at your drink before meeting his gaze. His anguish was written all over his face, his confusion and indecisiveness seeping into the lines on his tanned skin. He leaned back into the seat, shifting you slightly so that he could see you clearly.
“What am I thinking, bunny?” he asked, his knuckles caressing your cheek.
“You’re thinking… that it’s for the best that nothing happens between us, but you still want it to.” You didn’t want to have the conversation so soon, but it was clearly troubling you both. Harry stayed silent, his dark eyes trained on your face as you fiddled with your straw.
“And you think this weekend should be the end of it,” you added, face hardening as you said it. He made a quiet murmur of agreement, brows knitting as if hearing the words out loud caused physical pain.
“I’ll follow your lead, H. If this is as far as we go, then I say we make it the best weekend ever,” you grinned, hoping that a twinkle cut through the sadness you could feel clouding your eyes.
Harry scanned your face for a second, searching for any sign of hesitance. But you were settled on your choice, your strong gaze giving him no indication of any deeper feelings. He pulled you closer to him after a moment, satisfied that you were on the same team.
To agree on the premature death of your relationship was a gut wrenching feeling, in the most peculiar way. You barely knew Harry outside of his time as your professor, and now you were wondering if he would end up as your one great love, the one big regret you’d have when you’re old and grey, or if he’d be the one who ruined you. You were almost certain it was the former, but it wasn’t the time to dwell on it.
You wrapped an arm around his shoulders as you settled into his lap, with one final scan around the pub in case it was suddenly full of people you knew. Harry’s hand pressed against your cheek, turning your head until you faced him. His thumb dragged across your bottom lip, his lips parted just enough for you to see the white of his teeth as he stared at you.
It was the closest you’d been since you found yourself on his lap at the lake. Friday was your study day, your only lecture taught by a different professor, and you’d lost track of time and missed your grading session with Harry. The last you’d seen of him was as he drove away after dropping you home, your panties still dripping from the orgasm he’d given you.
The heat radiating off the wall of muscle grazing your chest had you burning up, your cheeks flushing a bright red under his gaze.
You’d noticed that he always looked at you as if he were undressing you in his mind, but now that he’d seen your body, his eyes bored deeper. So deep that it was almost as if he thought he could get you naked with just one look. But with the way he was looking at you then, it could have been a real possibility.
Harry’s lips ghosted across yours, dragging across your cheek until they settled at your ear. “We should go and check out our room,” he whispered, his voice huskier than it had been previously. His free hand tightened around your waist as he spoke, sending shivers down your spine.
You slid off his lap, leaving your barely touched drink on the table as you headed for the stairs. Harry was close behind you the whole way, his hands finding your hips as you started to climb.
You barely made it through the door before he was pulling you to him, his core pressed tight to your back. You could feel everything, every dip and curve of muscle, every twitch of his cock. Harry’s ringed hands gripped and clawed at your clothes with an urgency that sent a chill through your body.
You let him push you towards the bed, turning to face him when your calves hit the frame. He slid a hand up your shirt without a second thought; the sting of his nails, the warmth of his touch, the drool wetting his bottom lip as he stared at you open-mouthed. It was enough to make your knees buckle beneath you, your body suddenly not strong enough to withstand the energy and desire that coursed through you.
In that moment you realised that Harry was addictive. There was an energy that flowed through him, a frantic buzz of electricity shooting through your bloodstream at the mere thought of him. His touch, his voice, his presence left you with a high that you never want to come down from - a dangerous game to play. You knew you couldn’t have him, and the idea of the fall terrified you. But while thoughts of him were clouding your mind, the what ifs and what thens, he was with you, in front of you, tugging your t-shirt over your head.
You pulled your maxi skirt down, stepping out of it and throwing it somewhere off to the side. Harry backed away from you, his hands falling limply to his sides as his gaze dropped down to your panties. It was his first time seeing you properly, and he wanted to take in everything. The curve of your hips, the freckle on your thigh, the scarring of what once was a belly button piercing. His eyes trailed higher, to the fullness of your breasts, the blush of your nipples, the way your hair rested on your shoulders.
“So fucking pretty, kitten,” he whispered, reaching out to pull you towards him. His hand gripped your wrist firmly as he closed the distance between you. With a swift, fluid motion, Harry pushed you against the wall, the cool surface a shock against the heat radiating from his body. The impact took your breath away, but before you could fully process the sensation, his lips were on yours, fierce and demanding. The world around you blurred into insignificance, your whole being succumbing to the urgency and passion of Harry’s tongue as it moved against yours. His feet nudged between yours, his erection pressing into your parted thighs.
He pulled away after a minute, his fingers tangled in your hair. You were panting, gasping for breath as his lips moved down your neck. “Tell me what you need from me,” he murmured, nipping at the skin between hot kisses.
“Anything, everything,” you whispered, your voice breathy, a ghost of itself. Harry pulled away from you, straightening up so he could look you in the eye. His fingers trailed across your jawline, his normally mossy eyes now like coal as they moved over your face.
“Don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he said, pulling his lower lip into his mouth as his hand roamed your skin, tracing the curves and contours of your hips and waistline.
“Give me everything, H,” you moaned, reaching out to touch him as the anticipation became too much to handle. His hand left your face, fingers tangling between yours as he blocked you from touching him, holding your hand at your side as he dropped to his knees in front of you.
You widened your legs for Harry without a second thought, grip tightening on his hand as he pressed wet kisses to your inner thighs.
“Been dreaming about this,” he drawled, his breath dancing lightly across the inside of your thigh. You were powerless, frozen in place by your need as he curled his fingertips around the lace of your thong, kisses and nips following as he tugged it down your thighs.
He let go of your hand as soon as you were exposed, moving to lift both of your feet with a gentle touch, one after the other. You kicked your panties somewhere across the room, pushing your shoulders back into the wall as his nose nudged into your thigh, opening you wider for him.
Your breath was caught in your throat, blood pounding in your ears as you looked down at Harry, watching as he rested back on his heels and took in every part of you. He stared like he wanted to commit it to memory, like this was what he needed to see when he closed his eyes. He draped your leg over his shoulder, licking a hot stripe from your knee to your core.
And then suddenly, without any warning, his fingertips trailed through your entrance, collecting your slick. Your head fell back against the brick as he took his fingers between parted lips, his cheeks hollowing as he suckled on your juices. The whimper that you let out was obscene, he was obscene, worshipping your pussy as if it was everything to him.
When he was satisfied, Harry’s tongue traced the line that his fingers had made, licking into you so tenderly yet driven by desire. He was eating you like he’d been starved, like your pussy was the prey he’d been hunting. Your knees buckled as his nose grazed your clit, your weight shifting slightly as you dropped deeper onto his mouth. You could feel his smirk against your entrance, his moan vibrating through your core as you gasped and panted. But you were playing into his hands, giving him the reactions he so desperately wanted.
His deep groan fluttered through you as your hands twisted into his curls, the sharp sting of your nails just enough to spur him on. He repeated the same movement, over and over, his focus alternating between your entrance and your clit, his fingers wrapped around your thigh, tips digging in just enough that you expected bruises by the morning. The thought of it made you ache, the idea of his touch marking you, making you his, was enough to have your body trembling over him.
Your heel dug into Harry’s back, your motivation somewhere between steadying yourself and pulling him closer, your fingers tangling tighter into his curls. And when he looked up at you, his eyes locking onto your face as his lips moved towards your clit, his fingers sliding into your entrance, you were wrapped around his finger, indebted to him, owned by him from that moment onwards.
“Look at me,” he demanded, the soft touches of his lips against your nerves leaving you whining and rocking against his mouth. When you didn’t pull your head down fast enough, a splayed hand slammed against the curve of your ass. You cried out, tugging on his hair as your eyes met his, your eyelids heavy.
“Good girl,” Harry whispered, his soft lips wrapping back around your clit. Every muscle in your body seemed to tense at once, your entire body buzzing as he worked his fingers inside of you, his free hand rubbing at the mark his slap was sure to have left. It was too much, the pleasure defeating you as you started to fall apart, crying out his name as you came.
Harry waited a minute, kissing across your mound and your inner thighs, before slipping your leg from his shoulder. He got back to his feet slowly, his hands trailing the outside of your body as if he might need to catch you. Your heart was hammering in your throat, the flashes of sweetness and purity in Harry’s actions somehow making the moment even dirtier.
As soon as he was level with you again, confident that you can support yourself, his lips were back on yours. Hungrier, more desperate than before. He pulled you into him, his cock twitching as you bite down on his bottom lip, his hands splayed across your back. You weren’t sure you’d ever been so overwhelmed with desire and need, and you weren’t sure you ever would be again.
“Y’so fucking perfect,” Harry murmured against your mouth, turning you around and pushing you onto the bed. “Do you know how it’s been for me?” he asked, tugging his tshirt over his head. “Watching you in class, seeing you flounce around in those little skirts knowing what’s underneath. Knowing that pussy is waiting for me?”
You shook your head, moving your legs just slightly so he had a better view of you. “Such a tease,” he continued, voice so low you could barely make out his words. You were aching all over, physically pained by the lack of touch, your walls throbbing with impatience. He was taking too long, too many seconds wasted by fiddling with the button on his slacks.
“Please, Harry,” you whimpered, reaching out to help him undress. “You don’t like waiting?” he scoffed, finally stepping out of his trousers. The outline of his cock is all you can focus on, your lips parting as you stare at him. “I need you to tuck me,” you whined, massaging both of your breasts in an attempt to take the edge off.
He walked around the bed to the nightstand, eyes never leaving your body. “All fours,” he demanded, plucking a condom from his wallet.
You followed his orders, turning onto your knees and pressing your chest flat to the bed. His eyes bore into your core as he rolls the condom over his cock, sucking in a sharp breath.
“Fuck,” he whispered, coming up behind you and tracing the curve of your hips with splayed hands.
He pushes himself against your folds, his tip nudging against your clit with every move. You rock your hips back into him, whining until he lines himself up with your entrance.
Your head dropped to the mattress as he finally pushed himself into you, groaning as your walls pulsated around his width. He was big. Bigger than you’d imagined, bigger than you’d ever had. You could feel him everywhere. Your head dropped to the mattress as he finally pushed himself into you, groaning as your walls pulsated around his cock. He was big. Bigger than you’d imagined, bigger than you’d ever had. You could feel him everywhere, his tip pressed against your g-spot, his girth splitting you apart.
You gripped the bedsheets with shaky hands, your knuckles white as Harry pulls back.
“Perfect fucking cunt,” he drawled his fingertips digging into your waist. He glanced down, eyes dark as he watches his cock pushing back into you, the condom coated in your slick.
You couldn’t speak, couldn’t focus on anything except moving your hips back to meet his thrusts. His cock was everywhere, filling every inch of you as his hands roamed your ass, each thrust more powerful than the last. “More, Harry, *please*,” you begged, rocking your hips into him so hard that the slap of skin on skin echoed around the room.
“Still need more, huh?” Harry cooed, his voice so low it was almost sinister. You nodded, whimpering as he slammed back into you.
He gathered your hair into a ponytail, twisting it around your fingers and tugging until your back was flush with his chest. His hand snaked around to your throat, squeezing lightly as he tilted your head back to look at him.
“Such a good little slut,” he drawled, watching as you trailed a hand down to your clit, knees weak as you rubbed circles against the sensitive nerves.
Harry leaned down a little, sinking his teeth into the flesh next to his hand. You couldn’t keep from crying out, writhing in his grasp. You’d never felt so much before. His cock fucking into you, his grip on your throat, the pull of your skin between his teeth, your fingers at your clit. It was like you were experiencing everything at its fullest, your senses heightened as your body went into overdrive. You didn’t have time to register your orgasm until you were in the thick of it, rolling your body against your palm, choking out a scream of Harry’s name.
He eased his grip on your throat, letting you drop down onto the mattress as you rode through your high. He pulled out of you, rolling onto the centre of the bed with a groan.
You climbed on top of him, lining his length up with your entrance and slipping him back inside of you. Your head rolled back on your shoulders as you felt him from a new angle, your hands resting against his tattooed torso.
“So fucking big, H,” you whined, circling your hips as if it would make any difference to the way you were bursting at the seams, stuffed full of his cock.
His hands found your hips as you started to inch yourself off him, your eyebrows furrowed as you try to get used to his size.
“Taking me so well, kitten,” Harry murmured, his eyes glazed over as he watches you ride him, your ass slapping against his groin as you start to bounce on him.
He cupped the back of your neck with one hand, pulling you closer to him. You planted your hands on either side of his head, grinning against his mouth as he kissed you, the taste of your slick still lingering on his tongue. Your body was practically aglow with energy, tingling from your head to your toes as he reached around to slam a hand against your ass. Each smack of his palm is punctuated with your loud cry, falling into time with the squelch of your juices to form an obscene chorus. It’s an entirely depraved, overwhelmingly dirty sound, especially for the early afternoon.
But as Harry gripped your hips and held you steady, fucking up into you with the power and force of a machine gun firing, you really don’t care at all about anything going on around you. In that moment, it’s you and Harry against the world. That’s the final thought you had before your walls clamped around his cock, whimpering into his mouth as your third orgasm of the day started to tear through your body. Harry’s thrusts got sloppier, his hips jolting as he came, your pussy milking him of all he had. Your hips rocked as he panted into your mouth, rubbing at the welts starting to rise on your skin.
You waited for his heart rate to lower before easing off of him, pulling the condom from his length as you kneeled beside him. Harry watched as you tied the end, dropping it haphazardly near the bin before flopping down next to him, chest still heaving.
You stared at the ceiling, stars still lingering in your vision. It wasn’t fair. Harry wasn’t the kind of man you were meant to have a fling with, he was the white picket fence and babies man. You knew that questioning him and begging would only make you look younger and sillier in his eyes, but the lingering vulnerability had your words slipping out before you could hold yourself back.
“I don’t want this weekend to be all we have,” you whispered, rolling over to look at Harry.
“I don’t either, princess,” he murmured, propping himself up on his elbow. His free hand pushed the stray hairs from your face, his touch never far from you. “But at this point in your life, do you really want to sneak around for a few years?”
You stared at him in silence for a moment, your bottom lip jutting out as you realised how impossible any kind of relationship would be.
“I don’t like it anymore than you do. But if I have you, I want to be able to show you off. You’re too good to be any man’s secret.”
You groaned, throwing your hands over your face. How could someone make you feel so wanted even as they let you down?
“You know I’m right,” Harry teased. You could almost hear the arrogant smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. You rolled onto your back, letting your arms drop limply at your sides. “No,” you grumbled.
“I am,” Harry continued, climbing over you and planting his hands on either side of your head. “Now are you gonna carry on sulking, or are we going to enjoy ourselves?”
The injustice melted away as you stared up at him, his toothy grin spreading as your face softened. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pushing your hips up until they met his core. “Show me what I’ll be missing,” you whispered, the tug on your heartstrings overpowered by your need.
The shower, desk, window seat, sink, every surface possible had all been used by the time the sun went down that evening. You were exhausted, every inch of your body throbbing. Harry could see it in the way your face screwed up just a little every time you moved, his hands never ceasing as they rubbed over your sides.
He glanced down at you, a soft smile curving his lips. You were somewhere between simply too content to open your eyes and full-on knocked out as he slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb the you. He padded softly across the room, kicking away discarded items of clothing as he made his way to the bathroom, the cool tiles a stark contrast to the warmth of the bed.
The tub had barely started filling up before you appeared in the doorway, rubbing at your eyes with the heels of your hands.
“Hi, kitten,” Harry grinned, pulling you in for a hug.
You hated how easy and normal everything felt as you wrapped your arms around his back, your head falling between his pecs as if this was where you were meant to be.
“What you doing?”
“I was rough with you today, and I feel bad,” he shrugged. “And you seem like the kind of girl who likes a bath.”
“I’ve had a really nice day,” you sighed, your voice muffled against his t-shirt. You really had, but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right that he’d fucked you the way you’d always dreamed of. It wasn’t right that he’d been the Troy to your Gabriella. It wasn’t right that he was taking the time to care for you. It wasn’t right that this was the way your story would end.
But you pushed those feelings down as Harry kissed the top of your head, his thumb rubbing circles on your lower back. “Good. Me too.”
You stepped away from him as he reached around to shut the water off. “What are you supposed to do while I have a bath?”
“I don’t know. Fall to my knees and cry until you’re back,” Harry shrugged, tangling his fingers with yours and pulling your arms around his neck.
You dodged his kiss with a laugh, shaking your head as you rolled your eyes.
“Don’t even think about asking me to join you. That is the smallest bathtub I’ve ever seen,” Harry teased.
“Then just stay here with me,” you ask, grinning when he agreed. He pulled your hands to his mouth, kissing each of your knuckles one by one.
“Just give me a minute,” he told you, letting go of you as he backed out of the bathroom.
You stepped into the bath when Harry left, listening out for a clue as to what he suddenly needed to do. All you heard was the main door closing behind him, and his quick steps down the hallway.
He padded back into the bathroom a few minutes later with a flute of champagne in either hand. “Nice touch,” you grinned, washing the bubbles from your hand as he passed one of the glasses to you with a gentle kiss on the top of your head.
“Can’t fault a man for trying,” Harry smiled, closing the toilet so he could sit next to you.
You pushed the bubbles around the surface of the bath for a second, watching as they popped and sparkled.
“Take your top off,” you giggled, turning to Harry with a bright grin.
He eyed you suspiciously as you glared back at him, your smile never faltering. “I’m naked, H. In the bath. What exactly are you expecting me to do right now?”
He shrugged, tugging his t-shirt over his head after a pause and balling it between his fists.
“I never knew you had so many tattoos. Didn’t really get to see them earlier,” you told him, eyes trailing across each one. You’d caught glimpses of them before, but you hadn’t expected his torso and arms to be littered in so much ink.
“Can’t really show them at work,” Harry shrugged, glancing down at his inked torso.
“I like the moth,” you mused, though your eyes were glued to the ferns poking out from the waistband of his pants. “Which one’s your favourite?”
He looked over himself, twisting his arms around so he could get a view of each tattoo. “These two, I think,” he answered finally, pointing to the A and G on his shoulders. “For my mum and sister.”
“You don’t have the right build for an English professor,” you stated, not entirely expecting to voice that aloud.
“No?” Harry laughed, his eyes back on you as you sipped your champagne. You shook your head, cheeks a little flushed as you realised you’d have to explain yourself.
“English professors are grey. Or beige. They’re old and withered and smell like dusty libraries,” you told him. “You’re…”
“Not like that, I hope,” Harry finished for you, his dimples carved deep into his cheeks as he grinned.
“Not at all. I think every single student has a crush on you,” you smirked. “Did you always want to be a teacher?”
Harry shook his head, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass. “Didn’t even consider it until I was about to graduate.”
“I have no idea what I’m going to do after,” you confessed, nose crinkling as you thought about it. “None of the jobs available really appeal to me. I might have to marry rich.”
Harry let out a loud laugh as you giggled. “Don’t look at me. I have about £5 left to my name after paying my bills.”
You settled into an almost uncomfortable silence, both seemingly realising how close you’d gotten to inadvertently discussing marriage.
“Are you hungry?” Harry asked finally, cutting through any tension at risk of building up.
“A little,” you replied, tilting your head as you look at him.
“Want me to go get something?”
You nodded, setting your empty glass down as Harry leans over, planting a gentle kiss on your lips. Your eyes widened when he turned away, tugging his t-shirt back over his head.
It was all too domesticated, too natural. You were acting like an established couple, not two people who would go their separate ways after leaving the hotel room. But despite knowing that, every touch and every kiss had you melting into Harry a little more.
You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts and distract yourself before you concocted a reality in which you could live happily ever after with Harry by your side.
You decided to preoccupy yourself with getting cleaned up as soon as you heard the door swing shut, scrubbing your body and any leftover makeup from your face.
You stepped out the bath, wrapping yourself in the one clean towel neither of you had ruined, when your phone buzzed from the windowsill.
courtney: hows it going? you ok ? X
y/n: had more orgasms today than I’ve had in my life.
courtney: 🍆? 😉
y/n: tell you everything later. Love u xx
You threw your phone in the general direction of the bed, smirking to yourself. You knew you shouldn’t tell Courtney everything, but Harry must’ve known that was a given before he fucked you the way he had.
Your reflection caught your eye in the mirror as you hung the towel back up, the girl staring back at you glowing. You hated that this was the happiest you’d been in a long time, and you hated knowing that all of that would be stripped away not even twenty four hours later. But you’d already told yourself time and time again not to dwell on it now, promising yourself as much sadness as you needed the second you got home. You had a funny feeling that Illicit Affairs might be the only song you’d listen to for a few weeks.
It was only as you stared at yourself that you noticed the familiar discomfort that came with wearing your contacts for too long. Your eyes were begging for relief, but you felt suddenly shy about wearing your glasses in front of Harry. He’d definitely seen you wearing them before, but you could never be sure how much he’d noticed you before.
You sighed, blinking a few times before plucking both lenses from your eyes and dropping them into the bin.
It was only as you padded towards the bed that you realised that your ‘good’ glasses were in your bag. With your clean clothes. In the backseat of Harry’s car. You found your purse, pulling out your spare glasses with a groan. They were your huge, thick, never-wear-in-front-of-anyone-else, emergency pair. Definitely not the pair you wanted Harry to see you in.
You ran your fingers along the arm with a grumble, pushing them onto your nose. Any glasses were better than Harry coming back to find you naked and blind. Perching on the edge of the bed, you messaged Harry to remind him to bring the bags up when he got back to the room.
It was only a few minutes later that you heard his keycard in the door and he came to your rescue, with two pizza boxes balanced in his hand and both bags slung over his shoulders.
“This is a nice surprise,” he grinned, setting the pizzas and bags down next to you. You folded your arms over your chest, tilting your head away from him slightly.
“My clothes and good glasses are in my bag,” you mumbled, a blush creeping up your cheeks.
“And why is that a bad thing?” he asked, kicking his shoes off before sitting down next to you. His palm found your cheek, turning your head back towards him. “You are naked and adorable. I wouldn’t have bothered with the bags if I’d known.”
“You are incredible. I have no idea what happened with your generation’s self esteem. Seriously,” Harry told you, holding your head up with two fingers under your chin.
He studied your face for a minute before pushing you down, knocking the pizzas out of the way with a muttered “oops.”
Harry angled himself slightly above you, cupping your face in both hands. He pressed tender kisses to your forehead, nose and the corners of your lips, before moving down your neck, kissing along your throat and collarbone.
His mouth continued down, his lips wrapping around your nipple as his hand found the other breast, giving them both some attention before swapping. And then he followed that same trail upwards, pausing to kiss and nibble at your ear.
“Think you’re the most beautiful girl in world,” he whispered, suckling on the skin just below your ear. “You are to me.”
You turned your head until your nose brushed against his, eyes soft as you stare back at him.
“What do you need, princess?” Harry asked, his voice low as you fumbled with his belt buckle.
“Just want to be close to you, H,” you whispered, clawing at his slacks with impatience.
He pushed your hair out of your eyes before standing to remove his clothes, stroking his cock a few times as it sprung out of his boxers. His eyes were on you as he touched himself, a sight you knew would flash behind your eyes every time you reached into your panties.
“Come here,” he told you, moving backwards on the bed until his back met the headboard.
You climbed onto his lap, any tension in your body melting away as you settled over his cock. “We used all the condoms earlier,” Harry whispered, wrapping a hand around your waist to pull you closer to him.
“Doesn’t matter,” you replied. “Just needed to feel you.”
“Yeah?” Harry asked, rubbing circles around the dimples on your lower back. You nodded, running your fingers through his curls. “Lift up a second, kitten,” he whispered, holding his free hand under the curve of your ass as you raised your hips.
He lined himself up with your entrance, biting down on his lower lip as he eased you back down, feeling you for the first time with no barrier.
You let out a moan you didn’t even know you’d been holding, the sensation of him deep inside you, filling you up, exactly what you’d needed.
“Better now, princess?” Harry cooed, running his hand along your hips. You nodded, reaching for the pizza box. “Better.”
“I’m away for the next two days,” Harry told you, tangling his fingers with yours. “Got a teaching conference.”
“Do you think it’ll be hard to go back to normal?” you asked, totally disregarding what he’d said.
“Yes,” Harry answered, without so much as skipping a beat. “But I think it will only be so difficult because we have to keep seeing each other.”
You let out a dejected sigh, running your thumb across the back of his hand. “Yeah.”
“So you should spend the next two days practicing some self restraint,” Harry teased, looking over at you with that same, goofy, familiar grin.
“You are the serial toucher,” you laughed, tugging your hand away from his to swat at his chest.
“You just touched me.”
“I hit you.”
Harry snatched your hand back, chuckling before you settled into silence. Your gaze shifted to the view outside your window, familiar buildings and street signs coming into view as you drove closer to home. You weren’t ready to carry on with the life you had before Harry, his presence making everything somehow brighter.
“What’s your girlfriend doing tonight?” he asked finally, breaking the silence.
“Ask your roommate. She’s probably at yours,” you smirked.
“She’s always at mine,” Harry groaned. “Do you want to pick her up before I drop you home? I assume you’ll need to gossip,” he teased.
You shook your head softly, eyes dropping to where your hands sat intertwined. “No, it’s okay. I’ll see her tomorrow.”
You had a date with a book, a pint of ice cream and a potential cry lined up for when you got home. You weren’t ready to share your weekend with Courtney, needing to keep it sacred just a while longer. It was the only thing you had that was only yours and Harry’s for now.
You approached Harry’s office door, reaching for the doorknob with a tentative hand. You shouldn’t have been there and you knew it, but with a question from his earlier lecture and a burning desire to just see him, you pushed the door open.
You barely knew how to act around him after your weekend. He hadn’t met your eye in class, purposely avoiding your gaze when he passed you in the hall. You’d waited two days to speak to him, which was nothing. But it was two days of drafting and deleting nonsense texts, trying to come up with excuses to see Courtney at his in case he was there, pulling on his t-shirt before you touched yourself so it would feel like he was with you. You were completely, utterly addicted to him.
Harry’s eyes lit up the moment turned around and saw you, a genuine smile spreading across his face. The room had felt different without you, the monotony of grading and the cold glow of his laptop screen somehow duller and more lifeless than he remembered.
He gestured towards the empty seat, dropping the pile of books he was carrying onto the desk. “I won’t be long,” you mumbled, shaking your head. “Just had a question about today’s lecture.”
Harry leaned against the wooden edge of his desk, watching you as you flipped through your notes. He couldn’t help noticing how much warmth you brought into his office, how relieved he was to be alone with you.
“How are you?” he asked finally, cutting through the silence.
“M’okay. Just trying to actually focus on my degree now,” you smiled, heart pounding as you eased into conversation. “Decided to tutor a couple of other students.”
“Your professor would be proud,” Harry grinned, running a hand through his curls. You returned his smile, your notebook falling to your side as you edged just a few inches closer. The tension felt thick, too many unspoken words to fit into one short conversation. But Harry's gaze was soft as he looked over you, an intensity behind his eyes that made your heart pound against your ribcage. You could see the cogs turning in his head, an internal battle between desire and restraint.
You were thankful for the dimmed lights as a blush crept up your cheeks, stepping closer to Harry as if an invisible force pushed you towards him. Your fingertips brushed his knee, your lips parting slightly as you stared up at him.
You’d somehow expected him to change, to see him today and he wasn’t the same man you’d left behind. But he was no different than the man who’d fucked you, who’d cared for you so tenderly.
In a moment of weakness, Harry leaned in, his hand tangling into your hair as his lips found yours. It was gentle yet urgent, filled with all the emotions he had been holding back. You pulled him closer, your notes forgotten as they dropped to the floor, your fingers wrapping around his collar. For a few fleeting seconds, you were almost transported back in time, reality shifting into a parallel where this was natural and normal.
But Harry suddenly pulled away, his breath ragged, his expression conflicted. "We can't," he whispered, shaking his head as if trying to clear his thoughts. "I'm sorry, kitten.”
Your heart ached at the loss of his touch, leaning forward to chase his kiss. But Harry’s hand fell from you as he took a step back, his eyes glued to the floor.
The silence that followed was heavy, loaded with everything left unsaid. Harry turned away, leaving you standing there, the warmth of his kiss still lingering on your lips, and the cold realization of his withdrawal settling in.
Your heart plummeted as Harry's words echoed in your ears. You trailed a finger along your lower lip, trying to soothe the sting of rejection. You felt exposed, your mind racing with self-doubt, wondering if you had misread everything. If you had been foolish to think there was something more.
You backed away from Harry, tears of hurt and embarrassment stinging at your eyes. He was silent, frozen as he watched you walk away. The second the door closed behind you, his gaze dropped to your notes on the ground, his fist slamming into the desk behind him.
Harry slumped over the breakfast bar, his head in his hands. It wasn’t supposed to have gone this way, and he thought he knew better. He had decided to stay away from you, and he’d broken that promise to himself. He was supposed to keep his distance. You were nothing short of irresistible to him, and he knew the second he was alone with you he’d cross boundaries. And that was exactly what he’d done.
“Just talk to her,” Courtney told him from across the kitchen. Trapped in his inner turmoil, he hadn’t even noticed her in the room.
“Remember I’m still your professor,” Harry grumbled, eyes still focused on the grainy marble under him.
She shookher head, groaning as she swiped the untouched slice of toast from his plate. He lifted his head to look at her, hoping his expression would convey how little he wanted to get into a conversation about you. Courtney raised her eyebrows as she backed out of the room, eyes still on Harry. “You’re not the only one who’s in a strop, you know.”
“You’re also in my house,” he called after her, running a hand through his hair.
You hadn’t told Courtney about that afternoon yet. Harry knew Courtney was feisty before she became his second roommate, and he was certain that she’d make no attempt to hide her feelings towards him if she knew how he’d rejected you. Either you were too embarrassed to even mention it, or there was still a chance for Harry to turn things around. He may have been a man in a pit of despair, but he chose to take it as a sign.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he grabbed his keys and left. He didn’t even know what his plan was, or what he was signing himself up for by going to see you. But twenty minutes later he was pulling up outside your apartment, hoping you’d be home and praying you would be willing to hear him out.
Your windows were open and a light was on, so he was over the first hurdle.
He was almost at your doorstep when he heard it. The little uncertain giggles that exploded into laughter. It was his favourite sound, and until then, he’d foolishly assumed it was reserved for him. But there was someone else in your flat, someone else making you laugh the way he did.
He backed away from the door, leaning up against his car to try and get a glimpse of who was inside. He couldn’t see anyone, even craning his neck and stretching onto his tiptoes was hopeless. He turned around, clenching his fists as his jaw tightened. He was about to get back into his car when he heard the second voice, a husky male voice. He couldn’t hear what he said, but he didn’t need to. There was another man in your room, another man making you laugh the way he had. And you were happy. Not backing away from him in tears, with hurt and embarrassment written all over your face.
This wasn’t him. He wasn’t the man who got cheated on, but you weren’t cheating on him. He’d ended it. You weren’t his, and you had every right to be with someone else. But that didn’t make it feel any better.
He should never have put you in a position where you could be anyone else’s. His mind was racing, thoughts of you tangled up in your bedsheets with him, that voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear, hands that didn’t belong to him trailing over the bruises Harry had left on your skin.
“Fuck,” he shouted, his fist flying out to make contact with his wing mirror. He should have just fucking kissed you properly. He should’ve found a way to make it work, but he hadn’t. He was a coward, pushing you into the arms of another man just so he could protect his fucking reputation.
He was half prepared to march back to your door, to charge in and reclaim what he’d lost. But he knew he wasn’t acting or thinking like someone you’d want around, so he got back into his car and left, heading for nowhere.
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hughiecampbelle · 3 months
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The Boys Preference: Dating After A Toxic Relationship
A/N: Not requested, just an idea I had 😊 Remember, requests are open! Be sure to read my rules and please respect that I'm only interested in writing for these characters. Thank you! Feedback is always appreciated 💜
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Butcher is very vocal. He knows you jump and scare easily, so he always makes a point to say where or if he's going to touch you, if he's upset and why (so that you don't worry you're the reason), when he'll be back, etc. This takes a lot of trial and error between the two of you. Butcher is an angry, violent person. You knew this going into the relationship. There's always a worry it could turn on you, and that's what he fears most: that you'd ever be afraid of him. He reassures you constantly he would never, ever hurt you. He knows all about what your ex did. You wanted to be up front and honest, knowing some of your behaviors might seem strange or out of place. The last thing he ever wants to do is emulate your ex and though it takes a lot of rewiring and assessment of his actions, he's trying to be better for you so that he doesn't lose you.
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Hughie hates what your ex has done. Bit by bit, you give him the overview of your relationship, what they were like, and how they treated you. Sometimes you jump or flinch and he's reminded all over again that, despite what he does, there will always be this underlying fear and distrust. It took a long time to date him let alone tell him everything. He's patient and gentle and makes sure you're okay with every step you take further into the relationship. He takes every relationship show regardless of past history. When you see your ex again you have to pull Hughie away, not wanting him to start anything. He can't help it. He looks at them and he sees red. He's filled with disgust and hatred. Hughies always been on the timid side, but the thought of someone hurting you like that boils his blood.
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Annie never wants you to feel like you have to hide that kind of thing from her. She knows all about power hungry people who take advantage of others. Still, she can't believe it. You're kind and funny and sweet and you always have everyone's best interest at heart. You know what it's like to get hurt, you wouldn't dare hurt someone else. She knows you don't want any trouble with them, you just want to move on, but she can't help but light up when she sees them. Secretly she goes to them and makes it known if they so much as look at you, even think about you, they're done. She's always asking if what you're doing is okay and wants to be as open as possible about boundaries. You're grateful she likes innocent touching, mostly hand holding, and when you're having a hard time you know she'll grab your hand and squeeze it, reminding you she's always here for you.
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M.M knows all about your ex. He was the one to help you get out of that relationship in the first place. Since then you've become really close, so close he's now your boyfriend. After your ex shows up at your work one day, Marvin decides to take things into his own hands. The Boys make a special appearance at their apartment where they make it known they are never to go near you ever again. You have a lot of fears about trusting someone again, especially in a relationship, but M.M. is patient. He never wants you to feel like you have to do something you don't want to or aren't ready for. He's more than okay with taking things slow. He actually prefers it that way. He's extremely protective over you and, unfortunately, are his biggest weakness. If Homelander ever found out about you, M.M. would be done for.
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Frenchie met your ex a few times before you broke things off. The way they spoke to you, wanted to control you, all the sings were there. He feels awful that he didn't see it sooner, but you could never blame him. You're just glad you got away from them. Frenchie is attentive and devoted and males sure you're comfortable with every step in your relationship. He offers, jokingly though not jokingly, to have your ex killed when they start sending calls and texts and emails. You assure him it's okay, you'll handle it. He knows you're more than capable, but he's always got a back up plan ready just in case they want to try anything more. He's extremely patient when you decide to tell him. He knows there's more to the story than what you're sharing, but he doesn't push it. He's grateful you shared anything at all. It's a big step and means a lot that you'd trust him.
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Kimiko is learning to trust just like you are. You've both been through a lot, but you find a great solace in one another. Kimiko isn't sure who this random person is that shows up looking for you, only that the rest of The Boys are suddenly cagey, angry, and very protective. They're grateful you're not there. When she asks about them, you finally tell her. You dated a while ago and it wasn't a safe relationship. You thought you could get away from them, but they seek you out. They like to know they're in control. She feels awful. You're genuine and smart and sweet. Those terrible things that happened to you only made you softer and, unfortunately, more prone to anxiety and distrust. She leaves it up to you to take the next steps in your relationship. You appreciate more than you could ever put into words. You love her, but you need to take things slow.
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Bonus! Homelander killed them a long time ago. The moment you showed up in his life, he knew there was someone who'd hurt you. It takes a long time to tell anyone, let alone him. One day the phone calls and texts and emails just stop. They stop showing up at Vought looking for you. You think you've finally scared them off or perhaps they got bored, but it was actually your new boyfriend. Normally he'd like to boast all about how he tortured them, h9w easy it was to kill them, how stupid they looked when he pulled out all their teeth, but he knows you wouldn't like that, so he keeps it to himself. He knows no one will miss them. You certainly don't. You're sleeping better now and getting more comfortable in your relationship without the constant threat of them showing up or following you. Homelander rests easy knowing they can never hurt you again. He lacks a lot of self-awareness in this department.
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thebibliosphere · 3 months
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Wait, is Jason in Gotham Knights body horror? Because it doesn't feel like his body even tho he's controlling it? (He died, he came back, it's not the same and never will be)
Or is it more analogous to puberty and feeling like you don't know anything about your body anymore?
Just having thoughts about that boy again
I think Jason in Gotham Knights is very much connected with his physical body. It's his biggest weapon, possibly more so than his guns, given his lasting connection to the Lazarus Pit and the power it gives him.
His backstory talks about building himself up to peak physical condition into the absolute unit he is now, and you can either see that as someone trying to reconnect with their physical self or someone vowing never to be small or weak again.
I tend to think of it as both. It's a reclamation of his physical form but also a transformation into something bigger and stronger that ensures he's the scariest, meanest-looking mother fucker in the room. Basically someone you can't underestimate as a threat.
(Try not to think too hard about the fact that he now largely resembles Bruce in stature, that he is now the group's heavy hitter, the most menacing and the most likely to strike fear into the heart of his opponents, and that Jason molded himself into the person he needed to be rescued by as a child. Don't do it. Do not. I am normal about this.)
But he obviously struggles with feeling present mentally sometimes.
You'll see him zoning out occasionally, touching the J-shaped scar on his face before violently shaking himself back into the present.
He has panic attacks while playing a dance video game with a coffin in it—a coffin his character becomes trapped in because he's not moving fast enough. (hello, trauma)
He's angry all the time and so relieved when Barbra expresses her own rage at something because, yes, finally, someone else is letting their emotions out instead of bottling it up (Dick).
His emails are littered with orders for self-help books, emails from his therapist moving his sessions around, and concerned messages from his friends (Roy comes to mind) saying if he needs to get out of Gotham, they'll make it happen.
Alfred holding him while he sobs over losing Bruce still breaks me every time. I have to pause the game and walk around my house until I feel normal again.
And then there's the cut scene where Dick asks, "Hey, remember that time we all [insert funny thing here]," and Jason admits, somewhat angrily, that no, he doesn't because Lazarus took entire swaths of memories from him and he hates how he can't connect with people the way he used to and he hates the way they all look at him (the way Dick is looking at him now) when he admits he doesn't remember something they clearly loved about the old him: the version of him who didn't have volatile mood swings or made people flinch when he did something as mundane as handle a kitchen knife -- the undead monster he came back as*.
The fact that Dick then contrives to recreate this memory so Jason can be included in a newer version of it -- while also giving him what is arguably a weapon -- fucks me up every time. Dick just yeets a kitchen knife at him, trusting that Jason will catch it, and then just steamrolls over Jason's rightful 'what the fuck' expression with "Hey, we're making food. Get dicing."
And Jason knows what they're all doing. He's aware of it, and he gets the teeniest, tiniest smile before smothering it out. Except he can't quite. He's still smiling as he chops the vegetables. And yes, they're all hopeless at cooking compared to him, and he knows he's going to end up taking over, but that's okay. Because this is for him. He gets to control it.
And that's how Jason gets to make a new memory, one where he is handed a weapon and gets to turn it into a genuine expression of nurturing and care.
Because he does care about them. He wouldn't conspire with Dick to bake Barbara's favorite childhood cookies if he didn't. He wouldn't try so hard to be gentle with Tim triggering the shit out of him while he's struggling with his grief. He just doesn't always know how to express it because he doesn't always know what he's feeling.
Is his anger valid? Or is this Lazarus Pit Rage? Is he being overly sensitive because of his trauma, or is everyone else underreacting because of their trauma? (Should he sign them all up for therapy, quite probably, yes.)
So, you could perhaps argue that Jason experiences body horror in the sense that he doesn't remember all the pieces of who he used to be. (Speaking as someone with severe memory loss from medical trauma, it's certainly a type of horror.) But I don't think it's because he's detached from it physically or doesn't feel in control of his body. I think it's his mind that worries him.
His body he can control. It's his mind that still sparks green sometimes.
---
*Re the scene with Tim when Tim calls the Talons monsters. "What about me? Do you think I'm a monster?"
No, they don't.
But Jason does. And it scares him shitless.
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transmascissues · 8 months
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today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.
i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.
i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.
i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.
and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.
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miyamoratsumuu · 3 months
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COME INSIDE OF MY HEART (IV Of Spades)
↳ the fear of rejection and not being understood is always the biggest enemy of the longing to express love and affection. bakugou katsuki x gender neutral reader wc: 1.4k
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I love you, but I don't really show you.
you could always feel someone's eyes on the back of your head. it almost felt like they were shooting lasers through you. it was easy to feel their eyes on you, but their presence was suppressed enough that you couldn't exactly pinpoint who they were. and every time you turn around in search of their gaze, you never see anyone looking at you.
but there was one person you would always look at first. it was that damned blonde loud mouth. you had always hoped katsuki would be the one looking right back at you every time you turned around.
it was valentine's day and the sun was still high in the sky. you were on your way to the 1-A dorms when you felt the gaze on you again. this time though, you didn't need to turn around to try and find the culprit.
you felt a semi-harsh tap on your shoulder, and turned around to find bakugou glaring at the ground in front of you. he had a bouquet of flowers in hand.
"go out with me." he almost demanded. almost. before you could express your surprise, he extended his arm to hand the bouquet to you, urging you to accept it. you quickly took it out of his grip, worried he was going to snap the stems in half with how tight he was holding it.
shock aside, you replied.
"right now?" he raised an eyebrow at you, finally raising his head to meet your gaze.
"yeah? today's that stupid holiday, isn't it? when else?" you chuckled and shook your head.
"I mean, yeah, sure I guess." you looked at him with a gentle smile. in return, he scoffed and looked to the side, giving you a better view of the way the tips of his ears turned red.
I'd call you, but only if you want me to.
the first date turned into two. then four, then seven. it quickly became a weekly routine for the both of you. despite that, neither of you had established a label between the two of you quite yet. you were itching to ask katsuki about it, and it seems he's noticed that.
on one of your restaurant dates, you were sitting on opposite sides of the table as you contemplated on how to bring up the topic with katsuki.
"the hell's the matter? you've barely touched your food." you looked up from your bowl, to be met with the blonde's piercing gaze. god that look.
"i-it's nothing, sorry." you rubbed the back of your neck, looking back at your bowl of untouched ramen. you picked up your chopsticks, as you began to poke at the noodles.
"don't apologize, dumbass. and if it was really nothing, ya wouldn't be acting like that for almost a week." guilt crept up to you as you heard his sharp tone. you know he didn't mean to be harsh, but he's right. what you didn't know was that he noticed. you felt even worse.
"it's just.." you paused as you thought about how to say it.
"what... are we, katsuki?" you took your time asking the question, not wanting to suddenly drop it.
either way, it seemed to catch him off-guard with how he stopped chewing and his eyes widened. you looked away from him, embarrassed of having to bring up the topic. it wasn't until he cleared his throat when you looked at him again.
he clicked his tongue, and eyed his own bowl of ramen.
"I thought you were worrying about something worse, jeez." you furrowed your eyebrows, not knowing where he was going with that.
"but whatever." he raised his head to look you in the eyes again, and placed his hand on top of yours across the table.
"can I be your boyfriend?"
oh, don't you let it stop oh, I won't let it happen, baby I will never stop, but only if you listen to me
you knew katsuki wasn't the type to casually open up to anyone. hell, he's never talked to anyone about his personal feelings or the things he's gone through all his life.
he's not the best at communicating, either. he tended to shut down whenever something was wrong, or things didn't go his way. he built walls around himself to protect his vulnerability. and never did he let anyone break those sturdy walls down.
you understand that that's just how katsuki is, and that's what he's used to, but being his significant other for almost a month now, you thought you would be an exception.
you thought it was slightly unfair how katsuki has seen you at times your guard was down, with tears covering your cheeks, and your arms wrapped tightly around your figure. he's helped you through those times, no matter how new he was to the feeling of having to comfort someone other than himself.
tonight was one of those times. you were on your bed, your legs folded as your knees were pressed to your chest. your arms were wrapped around your legs as katsuki sat beside you, quiet. the only sound in the room was the sound of your sniffling and quiet sobs.
he wasn't the best at words, and you both know that. so with a sigh, he moved closer to you, and whispered a small "c'mere" as he wrapped his arms around you, and pulled you to his chest.
his left palm gently cradled your head, as his other hand intertwined with yours as he pressed a kiss to your temple.
"you'll be okay."
come inside of my heart if you're looking for answers, look at the stars, go a little bit faster
katsuki hasn't said a word to you the whole day. the only times he went out of his dorm was during breakfast and lunch. and every time you approached him, he left the room before you could blink.
dinner was quickly approaching, so you paid him a visit at his dorm. you knocked on the door and waited. and waited. and waited.
you furrow your brows, and knock again. no reply.
"katsuki? I know you're in there. come on, open the door." you said as you kept knocking.
you felt the wind of the air quickly opening against your face, as you were met with the figure of your groggy boyfriend. and he didn't look too happy.
"whaddya even want?" he snarked, turning around to walk back in the comfort of his room.
"what I want is to know why you've barely been out of your room the whole day! and every time I try to talk to you, you're out of the room before I could even speak. what's-" you were cut off by the sight in front of you. katsuki was sitting on his bed, his elbows on his knees and head hanging low.
you sighed and occupied the space beside him.
"I'm... I'm sorry for barging in like this. and for bombarding you with questions, it's just- I'm worried. this isn't like you." you lowered your head, attempting to make eye contact with him, with no avail. you sighed again and continued.
"sorry, again. I'll leave. but please, call or text me if you need anything or want to talk about whatever's wrong, okay?" you knew what was wrong. you knew about how a few hostages from the mission he was on yesterday were critically injured. all because the aim of katsuki's explosions got misdirected. the concrete of the building fell on the civilians and led to injury. he quickly redeemed himself, though. managing to grab all of them in time before the villain could cause more harm to them.
he recovered from his mistake. though you know the amount of guilt or regret he must be feeling. he's beating himself up for it.
you stood up from his bed, beginning to make your way to the door. until you felt a gentle grip around your wrist, and katsuki looking up at you with the most vulnerable expression you've ever seen on him. he managed to let out a
"stay. please." only loud enough for you to barely hear.
despite your worry, you managed to give him a small smile as you sat back down beside him, and slowly guided the both of you to lay down.
"I love you." you almost missed it with how quiet he said it. but you didn't. your smile widened as you replied with the same tenderness in your voice.
"I love you more, Katsuki."
the rest of that night was spent with katsuki's head on your chest, and your arms wrapped around him.
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marksbear2 · 5 months
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DENJI X OLDER MALE READER
Headcanons- Platonic!
Hello!! Today I’m trying to work on expanding my writing by writing for characters that I never wrote for!! So I’m doing Denji from CSM! Feel free to request!!
⚠️Warnings!!- Basically fluff, death mentioned at the end, killing, comforting and etc. Could be read as Gn.⚠️
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— You was his gay awakening. Instead of falling for Makima he fell for you. He was attracted to your maturity and seriousness. Not really in the romantic way but he quickly moved on from Makima.
— He always tries to impress you by trying to kill devil’s in front of you and acting all high and mighty and unfazed whenever he just got his ass kicked. 
— Spending all of his free time following you like some lost puppy. 
— His love language is acts of service so whenever your in need of something he will get it done. You need a pencil? He’s there with all sorts of pens and pencils. 
— He’s willing to do anything for you. He puts you first before anyone else.
— The first time he saw you fight a devil, he was starstruck in awe as you fought the devil. He was amazed by your movements and skills.
— Whenever your back from a mission he always asks you how it went, are you okay, did you get hurt, asking about how dangerous or big the devil was. Like some little kid.
— He thinks your totally badass if you defat a devil with ease. Becomes some childlike fanboy whenever you do it.
— Your one of the few who treats him like an actual kid, and not some object who they can use him for. You treat him like his age. 
— Only really listens to you. Whenever the other hunters try to boss him around he ignores them but if you say something he’ll do it.
— You kinda became his father figure.
— He waits inside your office waiting for you too be done with whatever paperwork or assignments.
— He secretly hates the fact that your close friends with Kishibe. He’s confused as to how you two are friends, but he just guesses since your two are around the same age and maturity level.
— He hates getting lectured by you, and always storms off whenever your doing it just to come back a hour later.
— Whenever he turns back from his chainsaw form he leans on you support and mumbles an apology for getting your clothes dirty from the blood.
— You taking him out to eat and such so he can experience things without the others. 
— You calling out Makima out for her manipulative and evil behavior. You always took Denji away from her and try to keep him away from her.
— You and Kishibe teamed up to train him and power together.
— He would sit by your desk and tell you all his biggest and all the way to his smallest fears. 
— You being one of the few people he actually trust and comfortable around you. Always smiling around you.
— He hates seeing you hurt, it kills him to see you injured, he would drop the whole mission to move you to safety.
— If you ever die, say from getting killed by a devil he wouldn’t rest until the devil pats for it. He would slowly be consumed by anger and revenge to the point he would be willing to die for your revenge.
— Denji wouldn’t move on from your death. He would sit in your office just staring at the your chair.
— Accidentally calls people by your name. He doesn’t really catch himself doing it but the others noticed.
— He always freezes up whenever someone would say something that reminded him of you. Hearing a line you would usually say causes him to stop whatever he’s doing and his heart pounding in his chest.
— Denji hates it whenever would someone would use the brand of cologne you used before dying. He would kinda get angry and say “That’s Y/n’s cologne your using you know!?”
— If you had a devil contract he would ask about how you got it, what type of devil it is and if you got any cool powers from it.
— Accidentally called you dad one time and his face went red from embarrassment as he tried to clear up the accident.
— He isn’t ashamed to show his childish side around you. He feels safe and comfortable around you so he doesn’t feel judged.
THE END
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Kinktober (reuploaded)
Car Sex (Matt)
Request: your writing makes me go wild. would you be able to write something about the reader and matt dating , so they get like zero privacy and fuck in the car the idea has been rotting my brain i fear/Matt takes you for a late-night drive and you end up fucking in the backseat/Earned It by The Weeknd plays on aux in Matt's car. Both Matt & y/n get in the mood, proceed to fuck in the car the rest of the night/Teasing Matt while he’s driving smut
Warnings: Sex, slight overstimulation, car sex, road head, fingering, cum eating, cute fluffy little moment at the end
Matt’s pov
I love living with my brothers, I really do, but I hate that they don’t know what privacy is. Y/n, my girlfriend of 3 years, lives with us as well, me and her have the master bedroom, which is the biggest. As much as I love my brothers, I don’t love when Nick literally steals Y/n away when we’re having movie nights or cuddling. And I most definitely fucking hate it when Chris ALWAYS ruins the mood, even if we lock the door he’ll pound on it until we open it. Sometimes he’ll even come into our room at night just to sleep next to me like when we were younger, thank god Y/n loves them both as much as I do, or else shit would be awkward.
Tonight I had planned for us to go see a movie at the drive-in, I even put down the seats in the back of her SUV and put blankets and squishmallows (Y/n’s favorite) as pillows back there to make it comfy. Nick and Chris had tried to invite themselves but I wasn’t going to let them ruin another one of my dates just because they think of Y/n as a little sister. Y/n and I hadn’t seen each other all day, we were both super busy so we were really looking forward to tonight but we definitely had an unexpected change of plans. When Y/n got back from her day with Madi she took a shower and got dressed in some comfy clothes, opting to blow dry her hair because it was cold outside.
I love seeing her like this when she only wears mascara and that damn strawberry lipgloss that I love so much along with some sweatpants and a sweatshirt. God, it was my favorite look on her, especially when the sweater she’d wear was mine. I was wearing basically the same thing but I had a backwards fitted on as well. It was starting to get dark so we decided to leave, the universe however, clearly didn’t want us to go on a fucking date because when we started driving on the freeway towards the drive-in theater, it started pouring, meaning all movies were now canceled. “Fuck, man! Why can’t I just take my girlfriend out on a decent date!” I yelled, hitting the steering wheel.
Y/n’s pov
I understand why Matt got mad, but honestly, there was no reason for him to be, I was already just enjoying being alone with him right now. “Babe it’s okay, we can still go up to that one private view. And we can watch something on my Macbook, it’s still in my car from yesterday. Let’s make the most of our alone time” I told him while rubbing his arm. Matt just nodded, clearly upset that his plan got ruined by the weather, “Plus I can finally makeout with you and not have to worry about getting interrupted” I added, half-joking.
Matt still looked upset so I moved my hand onto his thigh, I saw Matt quickly glance at me but neither of us said anything. I kept my hand there while I changed the playlist to a more relaxed and vibey one, occasionally tightening my grip on his thigh. I noticed the way that simple action got to him as he slowly started to get hard. We were almost to the overlook so I decided to start teasing Matt a bit, we hadn’t been able to have sex for a while so I moved my hand to rest over his growing hard-on. “Y/n” he said in a warning tone, “Matthew” I tested back with a smirk.
I started rubbing Matt over his sweatpants as we started driving up the little mountain when Earned It by The Weeknd started playing. This song seems to always get us in the mood so I decided to slip my hand into Matt’s sweatpants, lightly squeezing and rubbing his cock over his boxers. The car stopped and the music ended as Matt threw it in park and took the keys out of the ignition. He grabbed my wrist, pulling it out of his pants, and clicked the thing to unbuckle both of our seatbelts before he grabbed my jaw turning me to face him.
“Why are you always such a fucking tease” he asked in frustration, “Because I miss being able to touch my boyfriend whenever I want. I miss your cock Matty” I whined back as a response. Matt sighed, knowing I was right and he missed that too, but still pressed a very needy kiss to my lips. “Fuck I missed this side of you! Get in the back for me princess, we’re gonna take advantage of this alone time” he smirked as he kicked off his shoes. I did the same before hoping in the back through the center console area, Matt followed right after he took off his fitted.
“Hi” he giggled “Hi Matt” I giggled back, Matt looked at me with a smirk while biting his lip as he turned on the overhead light like they do in car videos. “Stop looking at me like that, you’re making me nervous” I blushed as he scooted closer to me, “I want you to get naked for me so I can finally feel your tight pussy around my cock again” he whispered in my ear before helping me take my hoodie off. We both took our sweats off as well, as well as my panties, Matt had pushed me so my back was against the door behind the driver’s side, sitting to the right of me.
He gripped my jaw, pulling me closer and mumbling, “God, I missed this” before smashing our lips together. Matt did this one thing that makes me literally go feral, he straddles me and essentially sits on my lap. I literally find it so fucking hot when he does that, especially when he’s the dominant one. I immediately moved one hand to start palming his hard cock, moving my kisses down his jaw to his neck where I sucked multiple hickies into the skin, probably more than I should’ve.
“That’s right baby, mark me up and claim me so everyone knows I’m yours” Matt groaned before pulling my head up to makeout again. This time the makeout was rough and wet, full of clashing teeth and needy tongues. Moans were exchanged between each other’s mouths until Matt pulled away, due to me starting to jerk him off over his boxers. “Babe don’t d-do that, you’re gonna make me cum before I can even get inside of you” he mumbled before moving us to lay down. “Then take your boxers off and fuck me already, I need it so bad Matty” I whined in frustration, making him laugh as we moved so I was laying down.
“Mhm I forgot how bossy you can be, I’ve missed it but I gotta stretch you out first babe” he said while hovering over me, slipping his right hand between our bodies. He ran his fingers through my folds, “Who got you this wet baby” he teased cockily as he brought up his shiny wet fingers. “You did! You did Matt, missed your cock so much” I whined before he shoved those two fingers into my mouth, making me taste myself. “Suck” he demanded, causing me to moan around his fingers, “That’s right baby, make those fingers nice and wet for me, even though you don’t really need to” he added, smirking at me.
Once Matt deemed my fingers wet enough, he stuck them both into me, groaning at how I could barely take his two fingers. After a couple of minutes of stretching me out I had to stop him, “Matt, I think I’m stretched out enough and if you don’t stop I’m going to end up cumming on your fingers instead of your cock” I whined. “Alright” is all he replied with, taking his fingers out and putting them in his mouth “Mmm fuck, I love the way you taste” he added before pulling down his boxers.
Matt leaned down to start sucking hickies onto my boobs as he eased himself into me but I wasn’t here for slow sex. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer so his cock slammed into me “Shit baby, you’re so tight” he groaned. Matt started to slowly thrust into me, letting me get used to his size, “Matty please stop being gentle, need you to really fuck me!” I whimpered out. That was all Matt needed to hear before he ruthlessly started pounding into me. It’s a good thing nobody really knows about this place because if anyone came up here they’d definitely know we were having sex.
The car was shaking, windows were fogged up, and I’m sure our lewd moaning could be heard from outside of the car. I pulled Matt’s head away from my neck, where he was leaving lots of hickies to match his neck, and placed our lips together. I started sucking on Matt’s tongue and running my tongue across the roof of his mouth, two things that drive him absolutely insane. He let out a deep, throaty groan as his left arm, my favorite because of the tattoos, came up to start toying with my nipples, pinching them and rolling them between his fingers.
“Babe— FUCK- pl-please choke me! I’m so close, I just need a little bit more” I moaned as we pulled apart, one of my hands was scratching down Matt’s back while the other was tightly gripping his hair. “Yeah? Want me to choke you so you can cum for me? Gonna cum on my cock while I fill you up?” he rambled out between grunts. His left hand wrapped tightly around my throat, applying just the right amount of pressure as Matt’s thrusts got both faster and harder.
“Shit! Matt, cum with me!” I moaned right before I came hard around his cock. After a few more thrusts, Matt let out an animalistic growl as he shot his load into me. I didn’t even have time to calm down from cumming when Matt did something he’s never done before. He pulled out and immediately went down and started eating me out as both of our cum oozed out of me, he’s literally never eaten me out after cumming in me before. And as amazing as this felt I was already feeling overstimulated, considering I didn’t get to come down from my first high.
Matt’s Pov
I missed eating Y/n out so much that when we both finally came I couldn’t control myself, she hadn’t even caught her breath before I went down on her. Usually, I would have never even thought about eating Y/n out after cumming in her, I always do it before we fuck, but today I was just in the moment. It honestly might sound disgusting, but my own cum tastes pretty good, and mixed with hers it’s just 10x better. “Fuck— Matt! M-Matt, stop I’m too sen-sensitive!” Y/n moaned about me as she pulled on my hair and kept trying to wriggle away.
I was in such a daze right now that I got fed up with her continuous moving. I slapped Y/n’s thigh pretty hard, a lot harder than I intended anyway, and pulled away for a second. “Y/n, stop fucking moving! I’m finally getting to give my sexy ass girlfriend head and I’m not stopping!” I growled out. Grabbing her thighs, I held them down as I started sucking our cum out of her pussy before I started fucking it with my tongue.
Y/n pulled my hair as I was sucking on her clit, causing me to groan against her. “Mhm Matt I’m gonna cum again— FUCK!” she cried out as she came all over my face. I let her actually catch her breath and come down from her high this time while I put my boxers and sweats back on since we needed to go home soon. It was now about 2:45am and I was exhausted, “I love you so much Y/n, I missed doing this” I said right before I softly kissed her, helping her put her panties back on.
“God, that was so hot babe! I totally wasn’t expecting you to do that” she said, still in shock. I felt myself slowly starting to get hard again while I put my shirt back on, helping Y/n/n get dressed. I gave her another soft kiss before climbing back into the front, offering Y/n my hand so she could do the same before putting my hat back on. “Are you ready to go back home princess?” I asked softly, placing a short kiss on her lips with a smile. “Mmm, I dunno. I think I need another kiss” Y/n replied softly, the only sound to be heard was the pitter-patter of the rain against the SUV.
We shared a few more soft kisses, smiling into them, but I had to pull away before we started making out again. “All better?” I asked, getting a hum back as an answer before I started driving. “Hey Matty, are you still hard?” Y/n pouted, “Uhh ye-yeah, don’t worry about it though. You just looked so hot and fucked out after I ate you out that I got hard again. It’s not a problem” I nervously replied back, not wanting her to think it wasn’t good enough.
Before I knew it, Y/n had her hand in my sweats and was teasingly rubbing my cock. “Babe-“ I started but Y/n cut me off, “You’re gonna say ‘you don’t have to do that’ and I know, but I want to” she said in a dominating tone. I just stayed quiet, knowing I wouldn’t win this fight. I was at a stop light when Y/n moved to lean over the center console and pulled my dick out making my breath hitch at both her cold hand and the air. I was at a loss for words as I’ve never gotten road head before and Y/n usually isn’t this bold or dominating.
“Y/n/n, what are you doing?” I asked in a panic as she spit on my cock, spreading it and the precum across my throbbing cock. “Shut up and drive Matthew” she said before taking my tip into her mouth. Unexpectedly, she deepthroated me causing my grip on the wheel to tighten and my breathing to pick up. Y/n started to hollow out her cheeks, creating a tight suction around my cock as she moved back up to suck on the head again. She started humming around my cock causing me to whimper as I tried to maintain focus on the road, which thankfully was empty.
“You like that, don’t you Matty” she asked in a seductive voice before going back to sucking me off, “Y-Yeah, but it’s- fuck- it’s hard to focus on the road when you’re doing that” I whined back. “B-But don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop!” I added as I was getting closer to cumming. Thankfully we had just stopped at another red light, I pushed her head all the way down on my cock, causing her to gag and holding it there while I came down her throat. “Shit— So good for me baby! Fuck, just like that!” I groaned loudly as she swirled her tongue around the tip before pulling off with a pop.
Y/n swallowed my cum before tucking my, now soft, dick back into my pants. “The lights green Matty” she laughed, pulling me out of my trance, “Huh? Oh shit” I said when I realized the was, in fact, now green. The rest of the way home, we sat in a comfortable silence and held hands on the center console. When we pulled up into the driveway, I got out and rushed to the other side to open Y/n’s door. What I didn’t expect was for her to take off my hat and grab me by the collar of my shirt before kissing me in the pouring rain.
As cheesy as it sounds, it was like a scene straight out of a movie, us standing there kissing while our hair and clothes got wet, stupidly smiling into the kiss. Unfortunately, unlike the movies, we got interrupted after like 3 or 4 minutes by none other than, you guessed it! Nicolas Sturniolo, “Can you guys stop fucking making out and come inside? It’s late, you were supposed to be back hours ago!” both me and Y/n let out a groan before walking inside. “Sorry dad, we got busy” Y/n joked, “I am NOT your father, this isn’t fucking Star Wars” Nick replied dramatically. As expected, we found Chris in our room on his phone.
“Out” is all I said while rolling my eyes, “And a hello to you too Matthew” he replied sarcastically, finally looking up at us. “Why are you wet?” he asked but Y/n just grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to the door. “I’m cold and want to change, get out or I’ll suck Matt’s dick again in front of you” she said shoving him out. “Again!?” both my brothers questioned, “Yeah, again! Deadass had to fuck my girlfriend in the car on a mountain because you two fuckers don’t give us any privacy!” I yelled at them slamming and locking the door. Y/n just giggled, pulling me to our closet to get changed before we laid down. Finally getting to cuddle and have the rest of the day to ourselves without any annoying distractions.
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fanartlover1234 · 5 months
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MAGIC
Y/n and Mattheo aint the best of friends but when they f(u)ck at a party she sees a different side of him
MATTHEO RIDDLE X FEM!READER
(Tbh mighy make it a story on my wattpad or here if it blows up)
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Y/n and Mattheo their 'friendship' was known in hogwarts, for their constant bickering but also their weird care for eachother.
For example, Mattheo would call Y/n a bitch but oh god if someoen else dares to call her a bitch.
Y/n can be fighting with Mattheo before he gets into a fight or even still yell at eachother while he fights but she will always take care of his bruises.
Everyone knew Y/n was off limits and well so was Mattheo.
In third year Y/n started having a huge crush on Mattheo but during fifth year Y/n got her current boyfriend thinking she sould move on as shs woulf never have a chance.
Y/n was off limits for two reasons, first being she had a boyfriends second being that everyone knew Mattheo would be after her the minute they broke up as he liked her as well.
Well enough of that, lets get to the fun part.
Slytherin new years party was the biggest party of the year, for the first three years the profesors tried to stop it, but soon gave up after realising it would happen anyway.
Y/n was making her way downstairs when Mattheo noticed her from the bar and they soon locked eyes so he waved her over.
As she made her way towards him he looked her up and down, her black silk dress and heels fiting her perfectly as she flashed one of her beautiful smiles towards him as she said a quick hi to Theo who was making a drink for her already flashing him a smile when he handed her the glass.
"Y/n, beautiful as always"
"But yesterday i was ugly?" She sarcasticly questioned him making him roll his eyes.
"Dont push it L/n" he said leaning closer to her.
"Red code" Theo said as he pointed to the staids to Francis who was your current boyfriend also in high line at the Deatheaters so you werent able fo break up with him for your parents sake as they wished for you to be with some pure high line guy, bonus if he is a deatheater.
"Can you guys stop mocking him?" Y/n said rolling her eyes as she took a sip of her drink when Francis noticed her and begam walking over to her.
"We just dont get why you are with him, like"
"You kno-"
"Yeah yeah, your parents" Mattheo cut her off before begining to speak again " i know plenty of guys who are in higher line than he is"
"Babe" Francis spoke.
"Hey!" She said avoiding eye contact with him as she shifted uncomfortably.
"Lets go, i have something for you" Francis said squizing Y/ns ass as she pulled back.
"Francis i really dont feel like it tonight" she said pulling back but Francis pulled her back.
"Hey dude, we were talking actually"
"Yeah well i feel like fucking her"
"Well she doesnt"
"Yeah and who are you to tell me what to-"
Mattheo swung a punch at Francis making you drop your glass in fear, Theo made his way to them both as you screamed for them to stop fighting.
After a few minutes they were finaly pulled back as you just left annoyed after screaming at both of them that they are assholes.
Mattheo after few seconds went after you and Francis tried as well but Theo steped before him placing a hand on his shoulder "dont even think about it"
"Out of my way" Francis said but everyone steped around him.
"No one messes with our Y/n" Lorenzo said as he stood behind Theo.
Meanwhile Mattheo knocked on Y/ns door.
"Y/n c'mon open up"
No respone.
"I know it was dumb to fight him but he was being a complete shit"
Mattheo heard soft steps towards the door before they opened up and y/n stood there.
She pulled him in without saying anything to him, sitting him down on the bed before going into her bathroom and coming out with a first aid kit sitting down next to him.
She took his hand as she began cleaning it carefuly.
Mattheo looked at her hed brows furrowed as she cleaned it, her hands gently around his as she tried not to hurt him before she looked up at him, her eyes looking at his brown ones before she brushed her hand over a bruise thay was begining to firm on his cheekbone.
He took her hand in his.
"Matt-"
"I know just"
"Matt, we can't, you know that"
"No i dont know that, you dont even like him"
She looked down before collecting the meds and placing them down on the table as she walked towards her closet.
Mattheo followed her, holding the door as he pulled her towards him as she tried steping back but he grabed her waist.
Suddenly all thoughts left her mind as she kissed him.
One thing leading to another before her roommate walked in and Mattheo used magic to shift them back to his room.
The next morning Y/n woke up and began to sit up but Mattheo placed a hand on her waist sitting up next to her when she sat back down after she couldnt walk, last night was fun, Y/n had to admit to herself that it was the best she ever had.
"Where are you, going, your legs ar still trembling, if you need bathroom ill take you" he spoke as he handed the girl on of his shirts before she wore it.
"Uh no im going to my dorm, y'know" she said taking her phone but Mattheo stoped her.
"No, no you arent and i dont know, you cant even walk" he said taking her phone and placing it on the nightstand as he leaned to the table he could feel Y/n squirm a little bit " let me take care of you" he said laying her back down, sitting between her legs as he rubbed them up and down his hands going on her hips as he saw her wince.
He looked concerned and Y/ns eyes went wide as she let herself slip.
"Mattheo dont" she said but Mattheo had already pulled up her shirt revieling not only a big bruise but also a cut.
"Is this from me" he asked refering the bruise but Y/n shook her head.
"Him? Is he making you leave after sex, leaving cuts and bruises on you?"
Y/n silance was all the answears he needed to know it had been him.
He wanted to leave but Y/n grabing his wrist stoppef him as she looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears as she sniffled a littlw before hugging him, he felt her teatrs drop on his chest as he relaxed a little his hands hugging her, caging her in a protective way as he kissed the top of her head.
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moosesarecute · 2 months
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Part 5: The Shadows Sing
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7
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“You’re joking,” you said the second you walked inside your cabin.
It had been a month and you were hoping that this annoying male had forgotten about your embarrassing bargain.
A month where you had done your best to ignore the tight tug in your chest. The screams for him to come back.
Your head yelled for you to keep a long distance from him, but your heart told you something else.
Lucky for you your head won, for now.
So you made a bargain because you needed to know that he would leave you alone. Unfortunately for you, he already proved himself smarter than you and found a loophole.
Of course he decides to turn up on the day you’re the most exhausted and the least prepared to protect yourself.
Azriel just shrugged.
You walked further into your cabin and laid the three birds you had hunted on the table.
“You hunted them yourself?” Azriel asked.
He was still standing as far away from you as possible.
“Yeah,” you answered and slumped down on your chair.
“Rough day?” He then asked.
He confused you. He told you he was curious, but then he just asked you pointless questions about yourself.
It didn’t make sense. He definitely had a secret plan.
“Yeah,” you replied.
You had phantom in your left leg. It had started in the morning and had only gotten worse and worse. In the end of your hunt you had been struggling to walk.
So you had to go home early, because you had pain in the foot that was detached from your body. It felt quite stupid.
“What happened to your leg?” Azriel asked. He looked at you with almost caring eyes, but you knew he had to be acting.
You thought for a second how to answer the question without telling too much, but still being truthful.
“When I first started hunting I wanted to prove myself,” you started. You fickled with your hands as you spoke and your gaze was lowered. “I went for the animal with the biggest reward, a naga. It attacked and I lost my leg.”
He nodded and started to move towards you. You did your best to sit still and not flee.
He was so tall, it freaked you out.
And his wings! They were huge!
Even as a kid, you hadn’t seen bigger wings. You had to admit that it scared you.
He must have noticed your fear, because the next thing he did was to tuck his wings tightly together. Your chest bloomed with comfort when he did.
He stopped and leaned back on the table.
“You controlled a naga on the battlefield against Hybern,” he stated. He looked at you with a curious look. “How did you do that?”
Shit.
You hadn’t realized anyone saw that. It had been risky. It was the most dangerous thing you had ever let your shadows do.
You took a deep breath.
“I prayed,” you answered.
It was technically the truth. When you realized how many people on your side the naga would kill, you had let your shadows out of your grip and prayed for help.
Help to control them.
Help to save as many as possible.
For Hybern to lose.
Lucky for you, someone listened and helped you steer the naga with your shadows.
Azriel looked like he was thinking a lot. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and he stared directly at you.
His hazel eyes were like heaven. They looked so kind and safe. Like they would embrace you and hold you until everything was alright. They would help you. They would protect you.
You really wanted someone to protect you.
Azriel let out a sigh and that pulled you from your train of thoughts.
“You can just admit that you are a shadowsinger,” he told you.
You decided to ignore him.
“Can I ask you questions?” You asked him.
Where the courage came from, you didn’t know, but you felt your chest burn when you thought about how little you knew about him.
This male that randomly decided to take a part in your life, was a big mystery.
“I guess,” he answered. “But I can’t promise I’ll answer them all.”
He looked so confident. It made you feel less confident.
You took a deep breath.
“How old are you?” You firstly asked.
“500 and something,” he answered.
You nodded and tried to press down the surprise you felt. If he was over 500 years he probably fought in the first war as well as the more recent one.
It wasn’t hard to believe that he had mastered the act of being a shadowsinger with that much experience.
“Why are you curious about me?” You asked him next.
You still didn’t know why he wanted to ask you questions and so why he spent his questions getting to know you and for the most part not interrogate you.
He spent some time thinking about an answer to your question.
“The naga on the battlefield has been on my mind lately,” he explained. “I saw you steering the naga, so I thought you might have something to learn me.”
Something to learn him? About what? Did he see your shadows on the battlefield? You were in deep shit. He was for sure manipulating you into admitting that you’re a shadowsinger. You couldn’t let him know. Couldn’t let anyone know.
He must have sensed your anxiety growing, because he slowly moved further away from you. He kept acting like you could trust him! You felt yourself wanting to trust him.
“Any exciting dinner plans?” He asked.
That broke your patience.
“What do you want? Just tell me, okay? I’m sick of you pretending like you’re the nicest guy ever,” you basically yelled at him.
Frown grew on his face. Didn’t spend time thinking before he answered.
“If you think I’m acting like the nicest guy ever, then you haven’t met very many nice guys,” he said with a straightforward tone. “I’ve been drawn towards you ever since I saw you for the first time. I don’t know why, but I have. I’ve been the only shadowsinger alive for the last 400 years. I’m sure you know how lonely it can feel.”
You did.
You had for all your years with your shadows felt self conscious that the only creatures that ever wanted to have something with you to do, was shadows.
You also had no idea how to control said shadows. To be honest, they were a pain in your ass and made your life harder.
The way Azriel spoke made your heart melt. He thought about you ever since you’d met the first time. You had been thinking about him too, even though you refused to admit it.
But still your brain had the lead. He could be tricking you. He could be much more dangerous than he looks. You should tread carefully.
“I don’t have any dinner plans,” you said.
Azriel’s graze wandered from you towards the three birds on the table.
“They’re not for me,” you said. “I hunt and get money for the animals I kill or catch.”
“Good paying?” He asked.
“It varies a lot,” you answered honestly.
He nodded.
“I’ve spent two minutes today,” he stated. “I still have two more. I’ll take them a different day.”
You just nodded at him.
He shadow walked away.
You let your shadows go after you had made sure he was actually gone.
And just to make the rough day you had even worse, they were absolutely furious at you.
The first thing they did was to pull your hair and your ears. Then they started to yell at you. All of them at once.
“We want to be with mate!”
“Our mate too!”
“Friends!”
“Where are they?”
“They aren’t safe!” You yelled back. You slammed your fist into the table. “I can’t trust them! WE can’t trust them! So stop talking like they’re the most important creatures in the world!”
But deep down you felt yourself wanting them to be here and get to know both Azriel and his shadows well enough to call them friends…if not more.
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The hood in front of your face felt suffocating and the binds on your hands got tighter and tighter each week you had to go before her.
Amarantha
You were leaded the same direction you always were. You had gotten the same doze faebane you always did, but something felt different. You just didn’t know what.
Suddenly you were stopped and the hood was pulled away.
The room was dark, but you still spent some time getting used to the light.
“What do you have for me?” She asked. Her voice was calm and icy, her eyes the same. They stared into your soul.
“A stag, ma’am,” you answered with your head bowed and your gaze lowered.
“Breathe,” you heard inside your head. “It’s going to be alright.”
The way the High Lord spoke made you understand that she was in a faul mood.
“That’s it?” She asked sounding almost bored.
“Yes, ma’am,” you answered. “It’s a particular rough winter.”
You tried to reason with her, but it didn’t work in your favor.
You were pushed to your hands and knees. Your head touched the ground.
“I’m responsible for food for my subjects. Are you saying that I don’t do my job?”
“No, ma’am! Not at all,” you answered, your voice was shaky with fear.
“Scream when it’s natural,” you heard and not even seconds later you felt the whip hit your back, right on the scars from your wings.
However, you didn’t feel any pain.
You knew the High Lord of Night was helping you.
You let out a little scream. And for each whiplash you screamed a little louder. Putting on your best act.
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You woke up shaking and sweating.
You hated when the time under her rule haunted your dreams. You hated how weak it made you feel and how humiliating it was.
Just stood up from bed, deciding to drop breakfast and go straight out to the forest to hunt. You needed a distraction.
You had just finished putting on your leathers when you heard a knock on the door.
Your heart started to beat faster. No one ever visited you without you knowing. For example, you knew that Hazel would come visit later and that you would hunt together. She would knock, but it was too early for her. Something had to be really wrong.
“I know you’re in there,” you heard Azriel say from the other side of the door.
Your heart calmed for a second.
It was just Azriel. He was back! He wanted to see you again so soon.
But then you realized that Azriel stood outside your cabin where everyone could see him. If anyone did, you were dead.
You hid your shadows as you rushed to open the door. Before Azriel could even mutter a greeting, you had pulled him into your cabin by his wrist and closed the door behind you.
“Did anyone see you?” You asked him, still holding onto his wrist. “Or anything? An animal?”
You were freaking out. Your chest tightened and your hands started to tremble.
“Nobody saw me,” he answered. “I promise.”
You just shock your head. You didn’t believe him. You couldn’t believe him. The anxiety spread throughout your body. You couldn’t breathe.
He slowly pulled his wrist out of your hand and leaded you towards your tree stump.
“Sit,” he said. “And take a few deep breaths. You’ll pass out if you continue like that.”
You had no choice but to do as he said. He crunched down before you, his hands resting on your knees.
“Good girl,” he said. “Once more deep breath. You’re okay. No one saw me. I used my shadows. I’m a spy, I know how to sneak around.”
If you were in your right mind, you probably would have picked up the important information he told you, but you were too consumed by remembering how to breathe.
Azriel just stayed before you and waited for you to get better.
“Why are you back so soon?” You asked him. Your voice was hoarse as you spoke. You had your head and eyes pointed to the ground, trying to hide the embarrassment you felt.
“I brought you some food,” he answered.
You raised your head and looked directly into his caring hazel eyes. He looked quite handsome.
“What?”
“I brought you breakfast,” he said again.
“Why?” You asked him.
It was like he cared for you?
“You’re way too thin,” he stated. “I also might have gone through your cupboards when you were out yesterday.”
Your cupboards were empty. They always were. You never had enough food to fill them. The food would be gone within a couple of eyes anyway.
Azriel moved toward a bag he had brought. He lifted it and sat it on the table. He then pulled out apples, grapes and bananas, as well as bread, cold oatmeal porridge and some brown stuff in a rectangular shape.
He brought you so much, it was like he was worried. He cared for you?
“I thought we could have overnight oats. You can choose what toppings you want to use,” he started to explain. “And then chocolate for a little dessert.”
You weren’t sure when your mouth opened, but you soon felt some drool escape. You wipes it away and immediately closed your mouth.
“You’ve tasted chocolate before, right?” He asked and looked quite concerned.
You just shook your head.
“Grapes?”
“No”
“Overnight oats?”
“No”
It was his turn to gape at you.
“Hopefully, you’ll love it,” he said looking at you with a spark in his eyes.
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“So the squirrel just took your apple?” You asked him trying to hold back your laughter.
“It did indeed just take it,” he answered with an embarrassed smile.
Throughout what had been the most delicious meal of your life, you had started to talk.
First about you never having tasted chocolate, which you soon realized might be the best thing in the world and also a good ice breaker.
Then about how you manage to build your cabin.
Then about how your prosthetic foot work.
And in the end about Azriel and his life. He told a particularly funny story where he and his brother had stolen an apple each from a tree and a squirrel had stolen it from him not even seconds later.
You were both about to burst into laughter when you for the second time today heard the terrifying sound of someone knocking on your door.
Your head whipped towards your door. Hazel weren’t supposed to arrive for a couple of more hours. Someone definitely had seen Azriel on his way to visit you.
They would kill you.
Maybe if you’re lucky it’s just Hazel that arrived early. You had to make sure that Azriel didn’t make a sound. No one could know he was there.
Unfortunately for you, you were too late.
“Who’s-“
You didn’t have time to think about your actions.
He started to speak and you needed to stop him, quick.
You didn’t even realize what you did before it was too late.
You met his shocked eyes.
His mouth was shut and covered by your shadows.
You had let them loose, in front of someone else. Someone who was basically a stranger.
As you rushed out the door and met Hazel on the other side, you knew you had just changed your life forever.
And you were sure it wasn’t a good change.
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@i-have-a-thing-for-the-dark @saltedcoffeescotch @rcarbo1
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flowersdiceandlove · 3 months
Text
Headcanon that WWX always wanted a family. Like this was not only his biggest dream while he grew up, but also could literally not imagine his life otherwise. He’s a romantic and always used to daydream about having a wife and kids. That one of the reasons that it took him so long to figure out his sexuality and feelings for LWJ is bc of this bc he always thought that you have to have a wife in order to have kids. You have to get married and be husband and wife to have children. Obvi he knows that people have kids out of wedlock and cheat, but he can’t imagine himself doing that. He wouldn’t disrespect a woman by taking her virginity before they were married or let her be shamed by having a baby out of wedlock. He never thinks to solidly on the who his wife might be and it stays a distant fantasy. 1) bc he’s in love w/ LWJ and can’t actually imagine himself w/ anyone else even if he doesn’t realize his feelings. 2) bc he thinks that whatever wife and kids he does have will be bullied by Madam Yu and (even if he doesn’t think of it for himself) he doesn’t want to subject an innocent woman and child to such treatment.
On the same note, I also headcanon that he wants A LOT of kids. He wants a really big family. He wants bio kids w/ his wife if they’re able (he knows fertility issues are real and wouldn’t pressure or fault her if they can’t conceive) but he also wants to adopt. Like adopting is a dealbreaker for him. His wife has to be able to love any adopted kids as much as bio kids. He feels like this may be a dealbreaker for a lot of women bc of all the pressures of bloodline and blood related family. The reason I headcanon this is bc since his parents died when he was so young and the Jiang took him in, he never really had a family he could call his own. (Your own feelings on the Jiang family aside there is no way he was actually allowed to call them his family or siblings growing up) All he wants is a family he can be a part of and call his family, not just reading between the lines. And the reason he wants to adopt is bc he lived on the streets for years before JFM took him in. He knows what that’s like and he wants to help any child he can if he has the resources to care for them. So his solution is to adopt them and give them the family he always wanted.
And I ALSO headcanon that when he was like 13ish, Madam Yu gathered all the male disciples around that age gave them a serious talking to about having sex before marriage (this is where he gets most of his ideas about not disrespecting a woman and shaming her by having sex before marriage since that’s how Madam Yu words it). It’s terrifying bc Madam Yu is terrifying and she was threatening them with Zidian and the discipline whip should they ever bring shame to their clan in such a way. (She’s extra harsh bc of her feelings about JGS and how he treats her sworn sister) Along w/ the fear inducing lecture, she arranges for all the boys to work in an orphanage/Jiang Clan nursery/something for like a week or a month so they can see how much work babies and kids are. AND (this is my fav part of this headcanon) WWX ends up LOVING IT!!! He cannot get enough of this kid and baby thing. It totally backfires on Madam Yu bc while all the other boys are very put off of fooling around for fear of knocking a girl up and ending up w/ a baby, WWX is totally starstruck thinking about his future kids. Even after the mandated time that Madam Yu made them work there for, WWX keeps going back to play w/ the kids and help out. It gets to the point that Madam Yu ends up punishing him for spending too much time there instead of training. But he just loves taking care of kids so much that he keeps sneaking (that’s right sneaking) out to do that. She ends up needing to literally ban him from those places, but he sneaks in anyway since he loves it so much. The people who are supposed to be the ones turning him away just turn a blind eye and don’t tell Madam Yu bc 1) WWX and the kids/babies both love it so much. And 2) they really need the help, so why would they turn away another set of hands? Especially when that other set of hands is just so good with them? As such, WWX is great at caring for kids and not just entertaining them. He never turns away from a dirty diaper or sick kid. He’ll clean up as much kid mess as you need him too. (This is even more true after the whole demonic cultivation thing bc after that he has seen far more gross and nauseating things than in his youth)
That’s all I have on this for now, but I think I still have enough ideas to make another post. Let me know if you want me to continue this.
Part 2
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zoros-bandana · 1 year
Note
Hii, can you write something like angst with Zoro? Y/n an him fight and argue about something but they made up at the end??
Miscommunication.
Warning: fighting, yelling, swearing, drinking/slightly drunk
Summary: After being with Zoro for a while, the lack of compliments and attention became a nagging point; wishing to feel special. A conversation with Sanji left an unusual sense of fulfilment you had never experienced before, only to later bring it up with Zoro in hopes he would understand your desires.
Word Count: 1,800
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"All I said was that I don't find it fair"
"Yeah, and I know exactly what that means, Y/n!"
You had approached Zoro with the idea this conversation would go smoother, hoping to bring Sanji into conversation after a few drinks would sooth him. It was obvious the mutual displeasure both Zoro and Sanji shared for one another, all the more imposing as you began to date Zoro. It was a taboo topic to even mention a budding nickname for the cook, Zoro shutting down any discussion of him, almost protective in the way of his bitterness.
"Well clearly you don't because you're not listening to me"
Zoro chuckled darkly. "Oh I heard you quite clearly, Y/n. Curly brow had finally gotten to you in his love-sick ways and you're falling for him"
"I'm not falling for him! I'm very much in love with you, Zoro. All that happened was Sanji-"
"Don't fucking mention his name!"
"Well what do you want me to say?"
"Nothing"
"Nothing?"
Zoro grunted, confirming his wish. The bottle of alcohol he held in his hand stayed firm in his grip, once acting as a brace but now as the bottle hit his lips he used it as a distraction. The liquid vanished before your eyes, each chaotic chug intensifying his rage, stewing over exact what Sanji could have said to make you question your relationship with him.
Once of his biggest fears was losing you - an irrational fear in this lifestyle you shared - especially to that of Sanji. Zoro was aware he could be cold and stoic, but never expected you to slip away from him over a short conversation with the cook.
"What did he say to you?" Zoro finally gasped, taking a break from his chugging.
"I thought you didn't want me to say anything?"
"What did he fucking say to you, Y/n?"
A heavy exhale parted your lips, knowing it would fuel the fire to discuss what Sanji had said. Of course you remembered, word for word, replaying over in your head. There was a feeling of utter guilt thinking of someone else instead of Zoro, but the way he spoke, looked at you, even how he leaned into you was enough to make your head spin. It was a softness Zoro had never shown.
At first, it didn't bother you. You knew what exactly who you were dating when you started to crush on Zoro. He didn't appear to have any complex layers, always neutral in his performance and showed no lean for affection or softness around the crew. But as the pursuit of interest happened, and over a long period of time, it was clear just how much you missed something. A part of you craved someone to be vulnerable with, intimate, not afraid to express how they feel about you and make you feel like you mattered. Blame it on your past, or the people that hurt you, but no matter the cause there was always a need for adoration in your life.
Stepping away you calmly took a seat, grounding yourself, your legs buckling under you in a horrendous shake. You could feel Zoro's eye watching your every move, hazed with anger, ready to attack you the second he had the chance.
"I told him I was feeling a little low about myself, and he wanted to comfort me" you began, taking another deep breath. "He told me how incredible I am and that ever since I arrived on the ship I have done nothing but taken his breath away by how beautiful I am. He said he wished he could adore me fully, to look after me and when he made me a cup of tea he remembered how I liked it, even down to my favourite cup..."
You looked up at Zoro, scared to hear the answer, ignoring the blatant anger on his heated face. "What is my favourite cup, Zoro?"
"You don't have one!" Zoro spat, furious you would even ask such a ridiculous question. "You don't even like tea!"
Sighing again you dropped you eyes, hating how the conversation had turned. "I do like tea, Zoro. It's like you don't even know me at all..."
"Yeah, well maybe we should break up then!"
Zoro's words shot through you as a cruel sting, leaving you stunned. You hadn't wished to come to this conclusion, knowing how much you loved and adored your boyfriend, in hopes he would feel the same. But maybe after that, his feelings would never reciprocate your own.
Your hands came up to cover your face, hiding yourself as you sobbed, wailing into your hands. Your body ached forward, curling yourself over into your legs, hiding yourself as much as possible. Every inch of you ached, regretting ever saying anything to him, wishing to just sit on your hurt; anything to have him take back what he said.
"I don't want to break up, Zoro! I just want to feel special! I want to feel like I matter to you and that you find me attractive in some way!"
Zoro furrowed his brows, unsure of how to properly act. The brief intermission of your cries let him breath, seeing you were more upset than angry at him. He was caught in his own whirlwind of anger, blinded by a fog of rage to even consider what you truely wanted; only what he thought he was hearing. His was still furious, but now more-so at Sanji for coming between you and himself, making you feel so hurt and guilty for wanting to express your feelings; and for the way he react to them.
"I do find you attractive, Y/n. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't"
"Then why don't you act like it?"
Your voice cracked, unable to hold back the continued stream you held in for so long. It was unfair how much you felt you had to hold in for Zoro's sake, knowing he wouldn't cope with emotions - your emotions - pushing you away instead. "You have never admitted to how you feel or told me I'm pretty or comforted me and made me feel like everything would be okay"
"I just don't see it as something practical; nothing will ever be okay"
"It doesn't have to be practical all the time. I like affection where I feel seen, and like I feel special to you and not just like I am a friend. You could do this with anyone but I am your girlfriend, I want you to make me feel loved. I don't think that is asking for too much. And I know that not everything has to be okay, but I want us to be, Zoro. I want to be with you"
The heavy footsteps of Zoro came towards you, dragging against the floor. They stopped as his body hovered over you, bending down to see you face-to-face, letting you lift your head to meet his gaze. His face had dropped, neutral as always, giving no indication whether his next words would be insulting or sincere.
"Tell me then, how do I be better for you? What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?"
You thought for a moment, wiping at the remaining tears pricking your eyes, wishing to see him more human than before. You felt dizzy with emotions, muddled into a pool of dread flooding you to think clearly. You hadn't pondered on the idea, half expecting him to think about your words and find out himself. But as you looked up at him, the lingering notes of alcohol burning his lips, there was a familiar stance of drunk before you; unbeknown whether he would even remember this conversation.
Deciding to let it out, you confessed, hoping even if it was a minute detail something would get through to him.
"I would like you to try and be more soft with your words. Take my feelings into consideration and not to look at me like... that" you waved at his face, making him look away. "Compliment me from time-to-time, tell me I look nice, or something that I am doing is cute, or you like it when I do something small like laugh at a joke. Give me random gifts for no reason; they don't have to be expensive. Hand written notes, a pebble on the beach that reminded you of me, anything that lets me know you think of me when I'm not around"
Zoro stood back up straight, sighing once more as he cleared his head. He knew he had a decision to make, to put you before himself and his feelings, something he struggled to grasp. It wasn't that he didn't care about you or how you felt, but rather how he saw you cope with emotions differently to him. He wasn't used to this; the crying, the pleading, the reasoning. Zoro knew how to bottle himself, keeping as much of his emotions to the side, finding a relief through training. However, meeting you, he never expected he would have to change, to communicate and cooperate with you. He had never done this - been with someone like this - wishing to spend the rest of his days by your side.
And for that, Zoro would have to put you first.
"Alright" Zoro nodded, his face blushing in a bright red.
"So does that mean you don't want to break up?"
"Of course I don't want to break up" Zoro sighed, realising his mistake. He looked back down to you, softer, his eye still fluttering to meet your gaze properly. "I- I'm sorry I said that to you. I was angry and I thought if I said it you wouldn't have to. I didn't want to keep dragging this out if you wanted to end things with me"
"Why would I wish that? I love you so much, Zoro"
"I know that, Y/n, it's just I-"
Zoro stopped himself, realising the drop in your face, recognising his dismissal as something negative. Your eyes clouded with fear, brimming with a new set of tears, afraid he hadn't changed; caught in the same dismissive tone as always.
He sighed. "I love you, too"
Taking a seat next to you, Zoro flopped down, carelessly leaning towards you. There was an earthy warmth in him, leaning over you as his arm found its way around, holding you close. It was rare he was able to be so still, your chosen time for this conversation finally playing to your advantage. "Ya know I'm still gonna kill ero-cook for this, right?"
"I know" you smirked, leaning yourself against his shoulder. "I wouldn't expect less from you"
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mrsdesade · 5 months
Text
I can fly, you can't
Pairing: Homelander x fem!super (I used my OC name here) TW: fighting, teasing, mention of sxx abuse, Homelander being an asshole as usual playing with your fears Timeline: The Boys S1 Words count: 3,2k Note: this is the first long one-shot fic I wrote please be kind and enjoy the drama, English isn't even my native language so I'm trying my best to write correctly! Summary: Homelander following you after a meeting, after forcing you the night before to be his perfect girlfriend for the media (and in your bed), you hated all of this and you hoped to have a moment of peace for you, but after a fight he discovered what your biggest phobia is.
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Leaving the meeting room feels like a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. It's like you can finally breathe again and think clearly without Homelander around. You feel like you're finally free from the burden of having to act like his girlfriend in public, at least for a little while. You exit the elevator and step outside on the rooftop of the Vought Tower, and then take a deep breath of fresh air and try to calm yourself down.
You take a few steps to the edge of the building, looking down on the city and trying to clear your mind. But your fear of vertigo kicked in and you're forced to step back immediately.
You heard the little sound of the elevator coming up, someone is coming after you. You can only guess who it is, especially considering how everyone else in the building is in that meeting. It's probably your nightmare of your days and nights, Homelander.
He steps out of the elevator and immediately notices your tense expression and the way you step back.
"What's wrong Ophera? Running away from an official meeting isn't really from you." he asks mockingly, his tone very smug and his smirk wide.
His footsteps echoing in the silence. As he got closer to you, you could feel his presence, and your heart sank with each step he took. You knew you had to stay calm, but the fear of vertigo and the presence of Homelander made that very difficult for you.
"I was bored. The topic doesn't concern me so I left with an excuse." you lied, slowly coming back to the elevator direction, standing safety far from the edge of the building. You've a secret to hide.
"Bored? It's rather unusual behaviour for you. There's something you're hiding and I want to know what it is..." he can see that you're trying to stay calm, but he can sense there's something wrong. He notices your movements towards the elevator direction and he steps closer to you, his gaze fixed on you.
"I'm perfectly fine. I assure you." you continued to maintain your fake calm behaviour, trying your best to don't look at the edges of the skyscraper.
"I'm not stupid. I can see through your deception. You think I haven't noticed your uneasiness? And I've been watching closely since this morning. You are acting strange, you're hiding something.'' he suddenly steps closer to you, his hand grabbing your chin and lifting it up towards him, his eyes locking onto yours. His gaze turns intense and calculating as he speaks to you.
You push him back with both of your hands, making him leaning back a few centimeters from you. You've to keep your secret or he may use it against you "I'm mad at you for what happened last night. Am I allowed to be angry or not?"
"Angry? Oh, so now you're angry at me for what happened last night?" He says, his voice filled with a mixture of arrogance and aggression. "Did I hurt your pretty little feelings?"
"I've no feelings for you, you hurt my body, you forced me. It was horrible." you pointed your finger at him and taking some step closer, for someone maybe you may be intimidating but for sure not for him.
Homelander's expression falters for a moment, your words seemed to have a genuine impact on him, especially when you accused him of hurting you and forcing you. "Oh, forced you? You have no idea what it means to be forced. You're still alive and healthy, aren't you? How much did it hurt anyway?" he lets out a scoff, like he's dismissing your words.
You felt for a second like your feelings and actions are nothing to him, everything you say is invaluable by his own way to see stuff. You became unable to control yourself and you can't stop from attack him out of frustration. You punched him on his pretty cheek.
Your punch didn't even make him fall back a single step, he looked at you with a fierce gaze and just laughed at you, like he found your action incredibly hilarious. "Ah, that's definitely a strong punch right there. You're gonna need more than that to hurt me girl. But I must say, I'm entertained by your attempt."
"I've just started, asshole." you answered immediately with a serious and challenging expression, starting to attack him again. In the back of your mind you know you can't really hurt him, but you need to let out all of your rage and frustration.
"For real, you're cute when you're trying to be strong. It's adorable, like a little Chihuahua attacking a Rottweiler. But I gotta give it to you for trying." He comments as you start punching and kicking at him with all your might.
You felt even more rage coming up inside your body. You move your hands in little circles movements and decide to use your powers. You can't hurt him, we'll see.
"Don't you dare calling me dog." your powers allow you to manipulate metals, so you lift two metal plates that were abandoned on the rooftop and throw them in his direction, fast, sharp and very heavy.
"Oh, so you're gonna use your powers against me now, huh?" He says with a confident tone, almost seeming like he's not taking your attempts seriously.
"That's cute." Despite his smug attitude, Homelander manages to dodge the flying metal plates with ease. He dodges them without breaking a sweat, and looks back at you with his usual smirk.
The plates fell of the skyscraper and probably are gonna hurt someone on the city, but you don't care at the moment. Your following attack was immediate, you managed to control some metal cords from the elevator and use them as sharp whip against him. You didn't notice as well that in this action, you broke the elevator, you already don't know that but you're stuck on the rooftop with him now.
He can fly, and you don't.
As you use the broken elevator cable as a whip, he manages to dodge it again. "Do you have any idea how easy it would be for me to kill you right now?"
"Attack me then, fight me Homelander!" you shouted in his direction, challenge him and then continuing using the cables, even doing a little scratch on him can make you satisfied, but seems quite impossible for now.
"You want a fight? Alright then. Let's see how long you last." He suddenly flies at you at a high speed. With a swift move, he lunges at you, he grabs your neck, his grip is tight and powerful.
You don't even have time to react, in just a single movement you appear defeated. It's hard to breath now. Your hands closed on his wrist that he's holding you so tightly "That's easy for you, but you've not...win...yet..."
That blonde monster scoffs at your comment. "Not winning? I have you in a chokehold and you're struggling to breathe. How can you say I haven't won yet?"
"Maybe I should squeeze tighter..." he adds, increasing the pressure on your neck. He smirks, looking at you with a certain degree of arrogance. You can feel his thumb pressing harder on your throat and his fingers squeezing it tighter, making it hard to breathe.
The words die in your throat, but you don't give up, you try to lift a metal pipe using your powers, you stretch out your hand in that direction and the object flies at an impressive speed towards him.
"Oh really? Trying to attack me again? Didn't we settle this already? I have you by the throat, you're literally in my hands." he says, his grip on your throat tightening even more, but he manages to catch the pipe you threw at him with one hand.
You stare at the metal tube in his hand snapping like a branch of wood, he could do the same to your neck.
"You really can't stop struggling, hmm? You're just going to exhaust yourself baby. How about you just give up already?"
''I'm not the type of woman who gives up easily...'' you feel the oxygen lacking, the pressure on your neck is increasing and you no longer breathing at all.
"I appreciate your determination... but I guess you'll just have to suffer a little more to learn the lesson." he tightened his grip on your neck even more, choking you and making it harder and harder to breathe.
you're about to respond, but you can only cough from the lack of air. When suddenly you feel Homelander lift himself off the ground without letting you go, reminding you that he can fly and you can't. As your feet no longer touch the ground, you feel the fear of heights overwhelming you and your fear of vertigo kicks in.
"How does it feel to be completely at my mercy? To be helpless and powerless, at the mercy of someone who can do whatever they want with you? It must be quite an experience, hmm?" he says with a taunting smile, watching you with a look of amusement.
As you feel yourself being lifted off the ground, your heart skips a beat and your panic sets in, now you're in mid-air, with your feet dangling.
''Put me down...! Immediately!'' as he rises you are forced by your fear to cling to his shoulders, and his grip on your neck becomes lighter, he wants to give you the impression of falling into the void.
"Excuse me, are you afraid of heights? I guess being up here is really shaking your confidence, isn't it? Trust me, I'd hate to drop you."
From your expression it's clear that you are afraid of great heights, and that the vertigo is terrifying you, your secret is now fully exposed and he knows it. He should never have found out.
Homelander notices instantly how you're responding to being high above the ground and that your secret is now out. A sense of superiority and satisfaction washes over him, he finally has a weakness of yours he can use against you. "Wow, look at your expression. You're absolutely terrified. Kinda pathetic. And all this fear because of an innocent little height? You really need to work on that."
You feel him completely release his grip on your neck and you risk falling, he's forcing you to clinging to him for safety with both hands and find yourself face to face with him.
''Please, please please please! Don't...!'' you continue to look down as he moves outside the perimeter of the skyscraper, leaving only the view of the city below you.
"Oh, now you're begging for mercy, huh? It's cute to see the mighty Ophera tremble in fear. But don't worry, I won't drop you… yet."
''Hold me up for goodness sake, or I swear to God when I get down from here I'll kill you!'' you give in to the obviousness of having to beg him for help. Your ramblings are dictated by fear and anxiety, you are facing your greatest fear in the worst way, and seeing him laugh at you only makes you more nervous.
''Look at you, begging me so desperately. It's hilarious. But I guess I have some mercy in me, so sure, why not." he says with a mocking tone, wrapping his arms tightly around you, making it seem like a tender hug but in reality he's just trapping you.
"Is that better? Don’t you feel lucky to have your hero protecting you?" he adds, continuing his taunting.
You breathe a sigh of relief when you feel his arms supporting you and some of the fear vanishes, but you still remain on alert, expecting some nasty prank from him. Then you hold on more tightly and rest your head on his shoulder, exhausted.
''I despise you Homelander...''
"Ah, you know I'm not surprised. But I have to say, you look adorable when you're frightened and clutching onto me. Maybe next time I should throw you off the roof and catch you before you hit the ground? Just to really see you panic." he teases you mockingly as he holds you close in a loving terrifying embrace.
You feel too frightened and exhausted to respond, so you just stay there, your head resting on his shoulder. But the thought of what he just told you made you shiver, because you know that if he could, he really would.
"Cat got your tongue? What's the matter, can't use that pretty little voice of yours to express your detest for me anymore?' he tauntingly whispers in your ear while one of his hands remains holding you, and the other starts brushing gently through your hair, in a seemingly affectionate gesture.
''Bring me back to the ground...'' you beg him once again, feeling miserable for the hundredth time in a few days, in every situation with him, you always come out defeated.
"Come on now, I thought you were enjoying this little flying adventure? Just look at the beautiful view, you should appreciate the scenery." still speaking mockingly as he slowly starts to descend towards the rooftop, he lands softly on the ground.
''The answer is no.'' your legs start to tremble as soon as you hit the ground, your heart is beating fast and even your hands are still shaking from the scare from just before, imagining yourself falling was terrible.
"Wow, that was quite a performance. You really made quite a show of yourself up there, clutching onto me like your lifeline. I wonder what the fans would say if they saw the mighty Ophera frightened to death by a little bit of height."
''You call that a little height? We were at least thirty meters from the ground!'' you scream at him, still exhausted and frustrated by what happened, you approach him again and point the finger at him, your tone continually oscillates between fear and stupid courage.
"Thirty meters, yeah that's no big deal."
Then he walks towards you, taking one step with each word, a mocking smile still painted on his face. "I think I really need to teach you to face your fears. Maybe I can be your flying instructor and help you conquer your precious vertigo, would you like that?"
''Shut up, you must not tell anyone about this, not to Ashley, not to the Seven, not to the media, not to anyone.'' this time your voice is firmer, almost authoritative, you know what your career depends on, and you can't risk being fired from Vought.
"Relax, your secret is safe with me." he rolls his eyes at your demand, clearly not taking it seriously. His tone is bored, feigning disinterest.
"It's not like I want to tell everyone how easy it is to make you scream, in different situation." he adds with a smirk, as if the idea of keeping this secret amuses him more than bothers him.
''We're not all perfect like you, you know?'' you are as always shocked by his audacity, and you have to take a deep breath so as not to insult him once again, it's really difficult to tolerate.
Homelander grins and rolls his eyes in response to your sarcasm. He starts walking around you, circling you like a predator observing its prey.
"True, not everyone can be like me. But don't feel bad, it's quite amusing to see how quickly you crumbles. Maybe one day you'll reach my level of perfection, but I doubt it." he responds mockingly, his tone dripping with sarcasm as well.
''I don't want to reach your level, I just want to be left with my feet firmly on the ground.'' your response is calm but attentive, you follow him with your gaze as he walks around you, the cold air at the top of the skyscraper moves your messy hair from the fear of just before. Then a question arises spontaneously from you.
''You weren't serious before when you talked about pushing me off the skyscraper, were you?''
''Didn't you hear the sarcasm in my tone? Of course I was serious, it would be hilarious to see your face when you plummets down, screaming your lungs out. I mean, imagine the thrill of feeling the wind in your hair, the adrenaline running through your body..." his words dripping with mocking sarcasm that turns into a dark smile.
''Yeah…that would be terrifying for me.'' you take a step back still eye locked on him, while insecurity makes room in you, you don't know whether to trust him or not.
"Aww, don't be scared now. I know you secretly loved being up there with me, all dizzy and clinging onto me."
''Don't talk nonsense...'' but while you try to leave that situation your eye falls on the elevator, it is broken due to your previous fight, another fear grips your insides, how will you now get down from there?
Homelander notices your gaze shift towards the broken elevator, and he laughs again, clearly enjoying the situation. "Oops, looks like the elevator's busted. Well, guess you're stuck up here with me for a while longer...unless you decide to fly with me, we would get off a lot faster than waiting for the Vought techs, it will take a few hours to fix it.''
''I'd rather die than fly with you again.''
He smiles at your defiant response, clearly enjoying the game. "Hmm, let's see. A long day with me up here, or a thrilling flight with the world's greatest hero. Your choice." says tauntingly, standing before you with his hands on his hips.
''Believe me, it would be terrifying either way.'' you sigh deeply, looking for a solution, as your phone continues to ring, Ashley wants to warn you that the repairs will take a long time. After all, they are fixing an elevator for a hundred-story building, it's not something simple.
"Ah, seems like you're running out of options, aren't you? But don't worry, I'm feeling generous today. I'll take you down.''
''Ah-ah, of course. And what do you want in return for this so kind and heartwarming favour?''
Homelander smiles mockingly at your words, but you notice a hint of genuine curiosity in his eyes. "Well, since you asked so kindly, I want a picture of the great Ophera, in my arms as I carry her back to the ground safely. The tabloids will love it, and more importantly, you need me to get down there. So how about this?''
You raise your eyebrows in surprise, expecting some other much more indecent request (but clearly you would have received those later, once the sun went down). And for once when his request was acceptable, you nodded.
''But I warn you, Homefuckinglander, try to make some jokes while we are suspended in the air and the journalists will have to talk about your murder and not one of your heroic rescues.''
He chuckles at your threat, clearly amused but also a bit turned on by your feisty attitude.
"Don't worry, baby. I'll be on my best behavior. After all, we wouldn't want the media to know about my little sadistic tendencies, now would we?" he extends his arms, inviting you to step into his embrace.
Slowly, you approach him, until you're back in his arms, held up like a ridiculous freaking princess, the media and fans will love it, but you'll hate it to the core.
"Remember, eyes on me, and don't forget to smile. This picture is going to be legendary. Ready for another ride?"
______
And we're done! It was so much fun writing this, hope you enjoyed as much I did! Kisses <3
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