#but much like with safe sex ed the more they are aware of and taught objectively w/o judgement or fearmongering

[shizuu-chann]

Abominations in Tevinter

Why do Tevinter mages seem less prone to demonic possession than those in the South? First of all, our mages are not immune to possession, and it does happen, as it does everywhere. But, abominations seem to show less frequently. This is not a question of talent, as some may believe. The difference is one of acceptance and education. Here, a mage child is celebrated. Their magic is a gift, and they are taught--with objectivity--how to use it. They are shown possibilities, not just pitfalls. In my time in the South, I've seen how your mages are treated. You cage them--with Templars, with walls, but most of all, with shame. They learn to hate and fear everything that they are. When they are told that every spell they cast may open them to possession, every magical action becomes fraught. Is it any surprise then, that magic becomes what they believe it to be--their downfall?

--Excerpted correspondence between Magister Dorian Pavus and Divine Victoria of Val Royeaux (Game: Dragon Age: The Veilguard)

[marydswitchduet]

Directory Updated*

*Last update 10/25/24

If nothing else, I've always prided myself on being able to find a lot of random info to absorb. Very akin to Samwell Tarly, in more ways than one. Dominantlife once had a library of a bunch is BDSM guides and how to either developed by them or curated by them if they were not the author.

Idk about anyone else but I could use one of those again.

So below are links to my reposts of guides, info, directories, information, and anything else with more than one link that I feel anyone would benefit from having easy access to. Some are BDSM, some are D/S, some have AB/DL elements, maybe some of them mix for you

For the record, I'm sharing content I've reposted but none of it was created by me.

KINK AWARE PROFESSIONALS DIRECTORY MADE BY TEDDYBEAR-WITHME

Healthy Sexual Communication:

Faking Orgasms

Taking Your Tongue Cross-“Cunt”-try (Cunnilingus Tips) below

50 Things Public Sex Ed Probably Never Taught You

Naughty Games

Roleplaying Resources

SAFE WORDS AND CONSENT

AB/DL:

DIAPER FLUFFING: LEARN IF YOU DON'T KNOW!

What to do when regressed alone

How to Make Adult-Sized Baby Diapers

Why Your Partner Likes Diapers and May Want to Wear 24/7

Increasing Diaper Discipline Involvement

Unique Scenarios w/ BDSM Flavor

Discovering Your Partner's ABDL Identity & Supporting Them

Hypno Collection

More Hypno Files

Wearing Diapers in Public - Tips and Tricks of the Trade

AB/DL Stores

AB/DL Stories:

OmNomNomDom’s AB/DL Fiction Index

MD/lb Stories & Creators (Paddedlittleparadise)

AB/DL Little Space:

Making Us Feel EXTRA Little

Baby Diaper Look-Alikes

How to Make Diaper Checks MORE Humiliating

The Perfect AB/DL Diaper Check: A step-by-step guide

Amazing Blogs and Where to Find Them

Things to Say to Your Diaper Wearing Little

Making Her Feel Little

Q's to Ask Your Little Boy

25 Things All Mommies Say

Top 10 Things a Spouse can do for Their ABDL Partner

Building Your Little Kit

Ways to put your Little to Sleep

Deciphering Little Moods

50 Ways to Make Your Little COMBUST🔥

CNC Ideas for Littles (below)

5 Tips to FULLY Regress

Sex Toys:

Guide(s) [Spanking, gags, rope tutorials, etc]

Gag Inspiration

Lucy’s Fantasy Dildo Shop Link MasterList

Toy Vendors & Creators

FERAL FUCK'S ALTERNATIVE SEX TOY SHOPS (Another Directory, warning)

Making a Tail Plug

BDSM:

Breathplay Guide

Measuring yourself for a chastity cage (below)

A Guide to Spanking & Impact Play

How Hard is TOO Hard (Spanking Reference)

Spanking Tips

Basic Rope Harness Graphic

How to Make Your Sub Feel Owned

Wax Play Graphic

Guide to Butt Stuff

Dom/Sub Language:

What to Say Other Than "It's Too Much"

D/S Prompts, Scenarios, and Phrases

Femdom

Controlling Your Male Sub

Torture Idea

What Straight Men Need to Know About Pegging

Pegging Positions to make it better for everyone

Prostate Milking in Chastity

Femdom Ideas, Thoughts, & Scenarios

AFTERCARE:

Dom Drops Aftercare

This will likely be continuously updated as I find things, will add dates for when updated

[necros-writing-stuff]

Yaaay Necro is back! Drop us some more Eden or Dare content to drool over! MOOOOOAAAARRR!!! It's never enufff!! Neverr!! Also someday can't promise when I'll get around making fanart for both and you'll be the first to see! If only my brain can pump some juice oho~ pump

More is always coming, don't you worry! Also I'd be honored to see the art, thank you very much for loving Dare enough to do that!

Okay okay so. Old dog man Darius. Retired (fired) police dog. Caucasian Shepherd.

Was a great working dog until one day he turned around and savaged his handlers arm. No one could figure out why, and he was about to be euthanized, until you came along and promised that you could safely house and care for him.

These dog people are much more intelligent than the general public believes, you know that. It's cruel how they're treated. The least you can do for Darius is provide him a safe place to recuperate until he can find a permanent home.

Or rather, that was the plan. Darius decided he'd never be leaving. This is his home now, and more importantly, you're his fucking mate.

The neighbours shudder in fear everytime they pass, Dare's ever watchful gaze glaring at them from the window. Any one of them could be a threat. His skin itches, the urge to snarl and bark to make them all leave powerful in his mind. But he's aware you could get evicted for that. So he stays in his spot, watching.

When he's not at the window, he's following you around. Satisfied and content as you make his food, always the absolute best diet you can manage for him. Always delicious. You aren't afraid to pet him, either, scratching at his chin before he rests it on top of your head so he can better see what your hands do as you work away at the stove.

He can't help how he hardens when you're so close. He's from a good breeding line, so he was never neutered like many other dog men. Your empathy for him and acknowledgement of his intellect stopped you from chopping the boys off, too. You could have. Hell, the vet recommended it.

But you ignore his less than sneaky humping at your backside. Just gentle little motions at first, testing you to see how you'll react. Most of the time you do act like nothing is happening, other times you give an excuse of needing your space for this or that to make Dare back away.

He's frustrated, you'd argue to yourself. He doesn't fully comprehend what he's doing. Not like dog people are taught sex ed like humans are. You add it to your list of things to approach him with. He's a diligent student in that class, already surprisingly knowledgeable in some parts but missing gaps elsewhere. His dry humping doesn't cease. If anything, now he's becoming bolder. Nuzzling against your neck, licking at the skin there and giving you hopeful eyes. But the answer is still no.

You're his guardian. You own him by law for God's sake. It's not fair. But maybe you can find him another dog person to be with, someone who wouldn't have power over the sweet old dog man.

It was the morning he woke up to find you cooking in nothing but one of his shirts that he snapped and just gave in altogether. Not the best mental health week for you. You'd lacked on laundry, he didn't know how the machine worked (you'd tried explaining, he just "never got it" - aka, didnt want to), so you'd thrown on one of his clean t-shirts to sleep. You'd do the washing today, had to, but breakfast was always first.

Poor thing. So tired, so lost in your own head that you aren't aware of the looming body behind. Darius practically salivated at what he was seeing, his tail wagging and his ears pricked forward. He's not one for oggling legs, they're just a body part, but yours look amazing that morning. There was no hesitation as he sank to his knees behind you, lifting the hem of his shirt to expose your core to his hungry eyes.

People ask you all of the time if you're scared that if Darius, as big and strong as he is, decided to attack you, you wouldn't be able to fight him off. You'd always laughed it off. You weren't now. Not with his hot tongue lapping incessantly against your hole, one arm pinning you to the counter (and keeping you bent at an angle) as the other holds a leg still. No, you're stuck whimpering and moaning.

The sounds it makes is obscene, the wet smacks too loud in your ears. Darius is ravenous in how he devours you, how his tongue pokes, prods and flicks, his lips suckling and kissing until your legs feel weak and you orgasm right there against the counter. Darius has to slowly lower you to the floor with him, pulling you into his lap as you both catch your breath.

"You-you can't do that again, Dare. It's not okay, its-"

"Mates take care of each other, no? You're less stressed now, aren't you? What's the big deal?"

There's no getting through to him. Not a chance. He's a dog with a bone, and he certainly has a resource guarding issue.

[ramshacklefey]

This is a hard topic because on one side you've got right-wingers who see ANY sex ed or mention of homosexuality as inappropriate. On the other, people who recognise transgenderism is very different from being gay and that postmodernism is being taught in schools, uncontested, as fact, & child safeguarding best practice being ignored (encouraging keeping secrets from parents, rooming adult men with young girls on trips, etc). There is starting to be major pushback in my country (UK)

Hey there Nonnie! I appreciate your message, but in order to reply to it I'm gonna be giving you a long-ass answer.

To begin with, I'm referring specifically to the accusations leveled by certain members of the right-wing media recently. Here's a link to a decent summary of that situation. This isn't your normal conservative fussing over providing sexual education to minors. These people are claiming that telling children about the existence of LGBT people is tantamount to sexual assault, and that the object/result of doing so is to make children vulnerable to sexual assault by LGBT people.

That is the kind of rhetoric that I was wondering about counting as libel or slander. Someone in the notes on my original post explained that in order to be slanderous, you have to being making claims about a specific person (which they've carefully avoided), and those claims have to do significant damage to the person's safety, reputation, or livelihood (which these claims probably would if they were made about a particular person).

Now I'd like to address your other claims.

First, no gay or transgender person has ever claimed that being gay and being transgender are the same thing. In fact, as a transgender man, I can assure you that the only people who equate the two are those who want to suggest that being gay is a bad thing.

Second, you seem to be mistaking "any kind of non-traditional ideas about gender" with "postmodernism." I'll spare you my lecture on that one, because I understand how you might have gotten the idea that they were the same thing. Now, I confess that I am unaware of the specifics of most school curricula regarding these matters, since I am a PhD candidate and have no school-aged children. As far as I'm aware thought, in the few places where kids are receiving any education about gender identity and sexuality, it is mostly of the same sort as other educational resources for widening children's acceptance and celebration of diversity. Whether you think that a transgender person's claims about their gender are true or not, I think it is at least reasonable to say that teaching children to be kinder and more accepting of those with different views and experiences from theirs is a good thing.

It is unfortunate that the current state of our education system rarely encourages students to fully explore or engage in conversation about almost any topic. There are countless examples of topics in history, sociology, literature, and other subjects where students simply receive a set lecture as dogma without much nuance. Often though, part of the reason is because the actual conversations about the subject take place at a level of theory that is far too advanced for children of the age group in question to be able to engage with meaningfully. It's easier to give them a simplified version.

Thirdly, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "child safeguarding best practices," but I'll take a stab at replying anyway. If we are being optimistic, it seems safe to say that the vast majority of teachers are people who care very much about children. They want their schools to be a safe environment, and they want their students to be safe and healthy on the whole. Let's start with that assumption and ask why teachers or school administrators would "encourage keeping secrets from parents." Honestly, I don't think that anyone is encouraging kids to keep secrets from their parents. But many children would become less safe if they were to tell their parents that they are LGBT. If a child tells their teacher that they are unsafe in their home or are afraid that their parents would harm them emotionally or physically if they knew the child was gay, lesbian, or transgender, then we might ask whether it is reasonable for that teacher to respect the child's confidence. This only becomes more the case the older the child is, as older teenagers have increasing rights to privacy from their parents.

I'm also assuming that when you refer to "rooming adult men with young girls on trips" you are thinking of a situation in which a transgender woman is intended to share a room with female students that she is chaperoning. Calling this an unsafe practice only makes sense if you are already assuming that transgender women are somehow a threat to teenage girls. There's simply no evidence for this. No matter how many times people repeat it, the idea that transgender women are more likely than any other women to assault or harass girls is unsupported.

There is absolutely no evidence that teaching children about the existence of LGBT people or about conceptions of gender that are outside the societal mainstream is harmful to them. There is no way in which this could possibly be construed as sexual assault or "grooming" children to be preyed upon by gay or transgender adults. In fact, there is good reason to believe that providing children with age-appropriate information about human bodies, romance, and sexuality makes them less vulnerable to sexual abuse, because it gives them the conceptual tools to understand what sexual abuse is and to communicate to other adults if it were to happen to them.

Claiming that gay or transgender adults are more likely to sexually abuse children is spreading a lie that not only does nothing to protect children from actual abusers, but also reinforces bigoted and hateful attitudes towards LGBT people. These attitudes end up harming LGBT children, who are more likely to suffer abuse of all sorts from those around them.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope that it was helpful and informative for you. If you have any further questions, my askbox is open, though I can't promise I'll have the time or energy to answer you.

Cheers! --RamshackleFey.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Let's Talk About Sex (19x03)

Grey's likes doing its special episodes, and honestly even when they're heavy-handed I still think they're kind of interesting and often quite effective. Let's dive in!

Cons:

I am... extremely torn about Zola being super gifted. It feels like the more interesting conflict for Meredith's personal life would be if Zola was struggling with a learning disability, falling behind in school, and Meredith could have the chance to be the kind of mother she never had, and encourage and nourish her daughter even if she's not going to be "extraordinary" by normal societal definitions. I'm willing to see where this goes, but it feels a little silly to me. Especially as a convenient follow-up to Zola having panic attacks. Turns out they're happening because Zola is a super genius. Okay then. (Also, this plot thread includes Nick, the most Boring Character Ever to Live, so I'm automatically a little biased against it.)

I'm going to have a lot of nice things to say about the main plot with the sex education thing, but I do want to note a few elements I didn't 100% love... for one, the dancing video at the end, and the cheesy thing where Bailey talks about needing to speak the kids' language... I can see how that seemed like a good idea in the writing of the script, and I liked the goofy energy of the dancing, but I wish we had had a moment of self-awareness that trying to plan something to go viral isn't actually how any of this works. Maybe something about Bailey's idea will charm the youths and a TikTok trend will pop off. Or maybe it will be mocked mercilessly. Or maybe it'll fizzle and die entirely. I don't think you can actually predict these things.

Another element that I wish had been explored with a big more nuance... Meredith's voiceover is about how sex can be healing, sex can be medicine. But that there are different benefits, and that sometimes sex without the proper intimacy and connection doesn't work the same way. I wish this idea had been pushed one step further, talking about the fact that non-sexual intimacy can also be therapeutic in various ways. I wish that Link giving Jo a foot-rub hadn't turned into an erogenous zone thing. For several reasons: I don't like the Link/Jo romance potential, but also in general I wish we could have included a purely platonic intimacy example within the sex montage at the end of the episode.

Also, cannot state this enough: Nick is boring and when he and Meredith were smooching I was literally yawning.

Pros:

Overall, I really liked the new baby residents teaching sex ed to high schoolers. This plot thread was honestly charming and funny and gave us more time with the new characters. I like the way the residents taught the high schoolers about sexual pleasure but also kept the safe sex thing front of mind, suggesting masturbation as a good way to avoid getting pregnant, warning against the pull-out method as being effective. We also got to spend some time with Addison, which is always a lovely treat! We have one young girl who discovers that she's pregnant and decides on a medical abortion. Another girl who has a cyst that is causing her extreme abdominal distress. Issues of health that Grey's would like you to know should remain personal between a patient and their physician, thank you very much!

I liked the way Addison spoke about feeling invisible, and afraid, and angry, about the overturning of Roe v. Wade, the way she sees the impact every day in her work. It's important to keep this in mind. It's a societal evil, what is happening in this country right now. It affects everyone, even people who have never been and will never be pregnant.

As a small note I appreciated that the residents used inclusive language, talking about women, or just any person with a vagina. It's a small thing but normalizing it is so important.

Teddy and Owen get a token mention in the "pros" section this week because at least hopefully now that they've had sex to release some tension, they can stop being so gosh dang annoying on my screen every week. Get a grip, you two.

Also featured in the sex montage you've got Amelia and Kai, Kai having turned up as a surprise to see Amelia! I loved seeing their happy reunion, although I am wondering if we're going to pick back up on that drama about Kai not ever wanting kids, and Amelia's identity as a mother. We also see a couple of our newbies, Blue and Jules, hooking up. This could be a fun energy to keep our eyes on.

Probably the most moving part of the episode comes from Simone and Lucas. Simone's grandmother, who has severe dementia, comes wondering into the hospital looking for her daughter, who she believes is about to give birth. Simone tries to remind her grandmother that her daughter is dead, but that only upsets the poor woman. Meredith intervenes and tells Simone that the most humane thing to do is to live in her grandmother's reality with her, something Simone isn't sure she can do. This experience really bonds Simone and Lucas, who both know each other's secrets now. Just as Lucas knows about Simone's rough home situation, Simone knows that Lucas is a secret Shepherd.

Finally, we've got Bailey coming back to work! She wants to take a different approach this time, not taking her chief job back but instead blending attending tasks with teaching. I'm excited she's returning, and hopefully she can finally achieve some of that ideal work-life balance she so deserves.

So that's that. I had fun with this episode, I loved the energy of the sex ed stuff, and I'm still feeling really excited about the potential of these new characters!

8/10

[twokinkybeans]

Touch Me, Please [Starker Fic] Pt.2

Summary: Tony Stark has never told anyone that he's still a virgin. He doesn't want to sleep with people who only want him because of his outward persona. So instead, he hires an escort. Things get a little more heated than either of them had expected. Tags/Warnings: Escort!Peter, Virgin!Tony, nff, nsfw, sexual tension, teasing, Peter is 22, Tony is 53, oral sex, 69. Taglist: @starkerswonderland @staticwhispersinthedark @starkerprince @parkers-stark​ (let me know if you want to be added!) -Kim

Read the fic here on AO3

Or click here to read Chapter 1 on Tumblr

-

TOUCH ME PLEASE, PT.2

Tony’s brain fails to function when Peter’s cherry-red lips press themselves onto his own. It’s a gentle clash. Peter’s lips are much softer than the ones Tony had kissed all those years ago. “Peter,” he whimpers desperately into the boy’s parted lips. The escort responds by simply deepening the kiss. The soft, velvet tongue sweeps past his teeth, and he kisses him hungrily. The staged passion has Tony fooled more than he thought possible. He’s aware that this is Peter’s job- making other men aroused and then pleasing them. Yet, Tony hadn’t thought it’d feel so real.  “Tony-” Peter breathes and pulls back slightly. Tony swears he can see a hint of longing on the boy’s face. He’s acting, don’t forget that. “Tony, tell me what you want.” “W-what?”

“I want you to tell me what you want me to do. It’s your first time. Gotta make it special, huh?” Somehow, the teasing tone in Peter’s voice when he speaks those words makes it so easy for Tony to push down his rising shame. It’s not some weird clinical discussion. Not at all. The question for consent low-key blows him away. He’s not used to it. His high school boyfriend at the time had never asked, and the people that tried flirting with him now weren’t much better. His ‘no’s are usually waved off as cocky, entitled behavior. 

“I…” Tony starts, frowning when he notices how he has no fucking clue. Oh, God. Here he is. He hired an escort, and he doesn’t even know what he wants. “I don’t know,” he whispers. Peter leans back a little, leaving some space between them, and sends him a gentle smile.

“That’s alright. We’ll take it step-by-step, ‘kay?” “Please.” “Cool. Anything you don’t want to do tonight?” Peter tilts his head in a curious motion. His curls bounce along with the movement, and once again, Tony is struck by his beauty.

“Nothing kinky,” Tony rushes out. “I just… I just want it to feel good. I want to make you feel good.” Tony’s head snaps up as he realizes what he just said. Something clicks in his mind. It… Yes. That’s it. “I want to make you feel good,” he repeats, his voice more assertive this time. Peter lets out a surprised chuckle. The boy searches Tony’s face for a second. Does he think Tony’s joking? “For real?” Peter asks. “You could ask me to do anything to you, but you want to make me feel good?” “Yes.” Tony straightens his shoulders. “I know pleasure. I- I wanna know how to make someone else feel that way. I-” Suddenly, he’s overcome with a wave of uncertainty again. “If that’s… Okay for you as well. Of course. God- I’m sorry. This is so not sexy,” he rambles. Peter tuts and leans in again, pressing his forehead against Tony’s.

“Doesn’t have to be,” he whispers. “If we want the rest of our night to be amazing, we gotta talk about this. Have to admit, most clients are very clear about their wants.” Peter snorts. “They usually prefer if I don’t talk at all.” “Oh?” “Mmmh. They prefer me to keep my mouth occupied elsewhere. But you?” Peter’s voice seems to trail off for a second when their gazes lock. Peter’s dark, chocolate puppy eyes contain a seriousness Tony can’t quite place. Peter’s voice is soft when he continues. “You’re different.”

Tony can’t shake the feeling that those words mean something. Different. He’s different. The insecurity almost makes him ask if that’s a good or a bad thing, but the intensity in Peter’s eyes already reveals the answer. “Peter…” he breathes softly. “I don’t know how to be a good client. But I promise you; I’ll be the most eager student you’ve ever taught how to have sex.” The half-sincere joke makes Peter laugh, and the sound sends a pleasant tingling sensation across Tony’s chest. “Sex ed 101 with Peter,” the escort jokes back. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” “Best-selling class, I’m telling ya.” “Well, lucky for you, you’re my first student.” Peter’s voice drops, making everything flare up again. Tony’s heartbeat picks up, and his cock throbs in the tight fit of his jeans. He speaks hoarsely. “Where do we start?”

Instantly, Peter’s lips are back on his own. It shouldn’t take Tony by surprise anymore, but it does. It’s earth-shattering how good it feels. Peter’s every move is urgent and hot and it makes Tony think that although it may be an act… Maybe, some of it could be real? “Can I unbutton your shirt?” Peter moans, and Tony curses at the sensations it sends straight into his hard cock. He ruts upwards and nods. “Y-yeah. If you take your shirt off too?” Peter sends him a cocky grin and nods. “Deal.”  Their teeth clash clumsily when Peter can no longer steady himself against Tony’s chest. His slender fingers easily unbutton the tight, expensive white dress shirt. Tony grunts as he feels the coldness of Peter’s fingertips brushing over his hot skin. He doesn’t even mind that it’s cold. All he can think about is how a gorgeous being is touching him - touching him. He swallows. “Feels good,” he mutters and drops his head back against the backrest of his couch when Peter’s fingers trail lower. And lower. And lower. His eyes widen, and he stares enchanted how Peter teasingly traces past the band of his boxers. Then, he snaps his gaze back up. “Your shirt?” “R-Right.” Peter expertly grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it over his head. Tony blinks a few times when he sees the smooth skin gliding past the fittest body he ever saw.

“Good Lord,” Tony laughs. “You’re fucking ripped.” “Wanna touch it?” Peter retorts, causing Tony to blush. He smiles sheepishly at the escort and nods, slowly reaching out. He’s never touched someone else like this. Never with the burning pit of desire deep within his core. Never so longingly. Never this intimately. When he feels the hot skin on his fingers, he lets out a shaky breath.  “Why is this so fucking scary,” he mumbles, not even that taken aback anymore by how easy it is to open up about that to Peter. He’s safe here. “Do you want me to guide your hands?”

Tony nods. He’s relieved at the offer. He stares at how Peter shuffles his weight back to make sure he won’t fall. Then, he gently reaches up and grabs the back of Tony’s hands. Slowly, he brings them up, all the way over his pecs and to his neck. Then, slowly, back down until Tony’s hands grab Peter’s waist tightly. “Peter?” “Yeah?” “You’re beautiful.”

Peter stills at that and he stares down at Tony. “Thank you.” He whispers. “I mean it.” “I know.” Peter’s voice is so gentle, and it stuns Tony just how confidently the boy is taking his compliment. He trusts Tony to speak the truth. “We should go to my bedroom,” Tony continues then. Peter smirks and nods.  “Show me where the m- Eh, the magic’s about to happen?” Tony laughs and shakes his head.  “Good save.” He grabs the kid’s thighs tightly and grins, hoisting him a little closer. Peter gasps, a silent shriek leaving his parted lips. Tony stands up quickly- he’s eternally grateful for his workout sessions with Happy- and carries Peter towards his master bedroom. Peter giggles adorably, and Tony would be a damn liar if he’d say the sound didn’t make his heart flutter in his chest. 

“Holy shit-” is the first thing Peter manages to say when he eyes the bedroom with his pupils blown. “I knew you were rich and classy, but this? This is next level.” “Do you like it?” “Mmmh,” Peter pretends to think. “I will have to evaluate the softness of your sheets to-” Tony, carefully, drops Peter onto the soft cushions displayed on his large king bed. Peter groans, grabbing at the surface of the blanket. “Perfect.” He looks up teasingly and pats the free space next to him. Tony obeys and lays down next to Peter. He swallows when he sees the golden light of the lamps reflect in Peter’s eyes - casting a nice, warm glow on his torso. 

It makes Tony feel bold. He leans in and presses his lips against Peter’s ribcage. Peter gasps, the tiny sound so lovely that Tony wants to hear it again with all his heart. He sucks onto the skin, moving his kisses higher and higher. In the process, he finds himself half-draped over the kid, but he doesn’t mind. His opened shirt covers the both of them once Tony’s hot kisses have found their way against Peter’s smooth neck. “This okay?” he asks. Peter lets out a breathy, ‘yes, keep going just like that.’ Tony obeys. His lips suckling, teasing Peter’s skin, and the boy’s shaky moans have him in pieces. He wants to experience this… This bliss, forever.

“Tony,” Peter groans, and Tony can’t help the jittery explosion of butterflies in his stomach when he feels how the boy bucks his hips up to press his groin against Tony’s thighs. He’s rutting himself against him, oh god.   “Mmmh?” “I need you-” Peter babbles. The kid’s eyes open wide, and a deep red blush appears on both cheekbones. He looks so flushed and needy that it makes Tony feel all the things he thought were impossible. The things he’d written off as ‘fake’ or ‘only in porn.’ “I shouldn’t…” “Shouldn’t what?” Tony says, his heart skipping a beat. Peter presses his lips together for a short moment in time. Then, he shakes his head and chuckles softly at his own thoughts.  “I shouldn’t let myself go like this. Fuck, Tony, I’ve never felt this way with anyone before.”

Tony freezes. Surely, Peter could say that to anyone, right? But the flushed cheeks, the longing in Peter’s eyes, the desperate rutting… Is there a chance all of that is, well, real? “Peter, are you… I need to know-” he croaks. “Is this an act, or…” His voice trails off. It’s Peter who seems startled this time, and he quickly shakes his head. “N-no! I swear, fuck, Tony, this is not an act. I-” he stammers and looks up at Tony with such sincerity that it makes his chest constrict with emotions he can’t quite place. No one. No one’s ever looked at him like that. Not his high-school boyfriend. Not the casual flirts. Not the strippers that some folks jokingly hired for him at parties. No.

There’s absolutely no possible way that anyone could act such a thing. 

“God,” Tony lets out with a quivering breath. He stares at the boy and swallows. Even the boy’s beauty hits differently now. He feels connected to Peter in a way he does not understand. It’s as if this is meant to be. Them. Together. Their fingers tangled in messy bedsheets, their lips crushed together until they both ride their highs. It’s… Fate. And Tony be damned, he never believed in such a thing, but Peter makes him think anything’s possible right now. “You wanted to please me, right, Tony?” “Y-yeah?” “Then touch me. Please?”

The high-pitched moan that escapes from Tony’s throat is feral as he dives in. He straddles Peter’s thighs and mouths at the boy’s skin. Lower, and lower, and lower. He revels in the breathy gasps from his partner when he licks a stripe past the waistband of Peter’s jeans. He shifts his weight a little and sniffs once, slowly moving his hand to squeeze Peter’s hip. Then, he moves his fingers. Creeping up all the way until they cup the hard, unmistakenly big cock that strains against the fabric.  “Holy shit,” Peter moans. “Yes, Tony, yes. ” It’s all the encouragement that the man needs to move his hand a little - rubbing, stroking, teasing the boy’s groin. He’s touching another man. And while he feels slightly uncertain about what he’s doing, he knows he’s doing it right. It’s new and exciting, but it feels so utterly natural.  Tony had feared not knowing how to do any of this, but it’s as if his brains automatically steer him in the right direction. It’s addictive. Tony’s nostrils flare when a new, daring thought crosses his mind.

“Can I, eh, Peter, can I suck you off?” Peter’s eyes are dark and hungry when he nods. Tony grins, and he’s starting to feel more confident now. The boy moves his hands down and unbuttons his dark slacks, then desperately trying to push them down.  “Lemme help,” Tony chuckles, and he grabs the edge of the fabric, tugging it down when Peter lifts his hips. Tony’s breath catches in his throat when he realizes Peter isn’t wearing any underwear.  For a short moment, he just stares at the big, hard cock resting on the young man’s ripped abdomen. Somehow, the sight makes Tony fly grow tighter. Tony recomposes himself and tugs the pants down, tossing them on the floor. Peter’s entirely naked now, and he’s gorgeous. He looks like a marble statue or a beautiful Renaissance painting, the warm glow of his skin begging for ecstatic pleasure. 

“Hey, you alright?”  Tony stares up and blinks a few times, then meeting Peter’s eyes. He blushes when he realizes he’d gotten a little too caught up in staring. “Yeah,” Tony confirms quickly. He doesn’t want Peter to worry. “You’re… Stunning. Never saw anyone quite like you.” “Can I see you too?” Peter props himself onto his elbows and cocks his head playfully. “My clients usually like to get naked, but you don’t seem to be in a similar rush.” “I’m not like your other clients,” Tony growls, probably far too possessive and inappropriate. But Peter moans, and Tony counts it as yet another win. He shifts a bit closer and stares at the boy’s cock again. It can’t be that difficult, can it? Tony knows how he likes to touch himself. This has to be somewhat similar.

Tony takes a leap of faith when he reaches out and curls his fingers around Peter’s cock. It’s warm. It fits in his hand perfectly. He slowly moves his hand down a little bit and smiles slyly when it makes the other gasp.  He was wrong, though- It’s nothing like his own cock. It’s much, much , better. He leans forward and kisses the tip; the pink flesh feels soft against his lips. It’s a strange sensation. He’s touched his own cock often enough, obviously, yet this feels enticingly different and good.  Peter growls when Tony takes him deeper into his mouth, and the sound only spurs Tony on to keep going. “Shit, Tony-” Peter brabbles. “You’re amazing, k-keep going.” 

Soon, Tony finds himself in an enchanting rhythm. It’s almost stupidly funny how much doing this satisfies him. He’s not only giving pleasure to Peter. He’s taking it too. He loves everything about it. The way Peter’s cock fills his mouth so good, the way Peter’s fingers unconsciously tug on Tony’s hair to guide him in the right direction, the throaty moans leaving the boy’s lips.

“Tony- Tony, w-wait. I wanna try something.” Peter mumbles, and Tony looks up curiously, his lips parted and tingly from the continuous dragging motions.  “Show me?” “Yeah, eh, come here and turn around, facing- Yeah. That’s it.” Peter directs him, and Tony’s throat feels dry when Peter’s idea settles under his skin. Oh. Yes. “I don’t know how…” Tony mumbles, unsure where to go to make it happen. Peter’s hands easily guide him back until Tony’s kind of straddling Peter’s face, and suddenly, he feels the soft, expert lips wrapping around his cock. Tony curses out loud. His fingers grasp at the sheets as he feels the most intense pleasure he’s ever felt in his entire life. 

It takes him a few seconds to get used to the sensations, and then he casts his eyes down again to stare at Peter’s cock. Right. He moves down and captures the head between his lips again. Peter moans around his cock, and Tony swears he’s over and done with. Lost. He’s lost within this pleasure.  In an attempt to stay alert enough to know what he’s doing, he tries to follow Peter’s motions. When Peter sucks, Tony sucks too. When Peter takes him deeper, so does Tony. A slight chuckle from Peter reveals he sees through Tony, and Tony has to keep a grin at bay when Peter starts doing exactly the things he wants to feel himself. Their bodies sync perfectly together like this and everything is just absolutely 100% perfect.

Tony doesn’t think he’ll survive this. His hair is messy, sticking to his sweaty forehead. His jaw aches so bad, and his arms are starting to wear out from being in this position for who knows how long. He feels so, so good. His groin is burning, building closer and closer towards his orgasm. His balls feel tight, and Peter’s tongue is still relentlessly swirling around him while the tight lips keep dragging up and down around him.  He hears Peter’s mumbles becoming louder, though, and he notices the boy’s thighs are trembling. Tony whimpers when he realizes that Peter is this close to spilling into his mouth. It’s the sheer desperation of wanting to have Peter fall apart underneath him that he’s able to carry on faster than he had before. Peter keens with pleasure, his lips getting sloppy around Tony’s cock. 

The man doesn’t see it coming when suddenly Peter’s body seems to tense up, and hot spurts fill Tony’s mouth. Oh. Tony thinks, scrunching his nose a little bit at the slightly bitter taste. This is not what he’d expected, but he eagerly sucks and swallows every last drop.  “Fuck, Peter…” he breathes as he finally swallowed it all, staring at how the cock now lays limp on the boy’s stomach. Slowly getting smaller again. “Fuck, that was- Ah! ” 

Peter seems not to want to waste another second. The boy’s fingers dig into Tony’s upper legs as he sucks harder and faster. Tony’s world comes crumbling down when his mind shortcircuits. His muscles tense, and he releases without warning, spilling into the hot depths of Peter’s throat. “O-Oh, fuck. Fuckfuck fuck, Peter.” Tony chokes out when suddenly every sensation is heightened. The boy’s tongue swirls slow circles around the head of his cock, lapping up every last drop. Tony’s too out of it to say anything. He simply lets it happen, relishing in this wave of post-orgasm bliss. 

After God knows how long, his eyes finally flutter open, and he drops himself onto his sheets next to Peter. The escort smiles at him widely and reaches out to trace Tony’s chest with the tips of his fingers. “Did you like it?” Peter asks quietly. Tony smirks and nods, scooting a little closer to press into Peter’s side. “It was… Perfect.” Tony pauses and takes a deep breath. “Thank you, I… Couldn’t have dreamed of something better.”

Maybe they didn’t get to the ‘real’ thing yet, and Tony has to admit that he desperately wishes to know what it’d feel like to be inside of the boy, but for now, everything inside him feels light and fluttery and sound. “Stay the night?” he whispers, not wanting to be alone. Peter swallows and turns his head to stare at Tony’s face. “I want to,” he whispers, seeming to hesitate about something. Tony frowns. “Hey, you don’t have to, I…” “No, Tony. I… I want to. But it’s not without cost. I’m still… At work,” he says awkwardly. “I don’t want you to pay for that.” His voice sounds as if he’s sorry about it. Tony smiles at him. “Money’s no issue for me. I’d happily pay you double to have you around a bit longer.”

Tony knows it’s, again, inappropriate to say such things, but he can’t help it. He can’t help the confusing emotions when it comes to Peter. Peter looks up happily and nods.

“I… I’d love to stay.”

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

[viovivii]

Why having a strong dad is IMPORTANT. Every girl needs a strong daddy in their life ❤️ good book. p.s DONT FUCKING BE A DEAD BEAT

this was a good read:

Chapter 1 – You Are the Most Important Man in Her Life

I’ve said this before, but scary. I am also the most important man in my wife’s life, but she was able to make a conscious decision to choose me. Not my girls, they are simply stuck with me!

Meg states that in her practice she has seen many young girls doing terribly unhealthy things to see if their fathers will notice. Young girls crave a father’s attention and love.

Dad’s don’t need to change who they are to be great dads. They need to invest in the relationship and understand what the world is telling your daughters through TV, the internet and their friends. Your job is to protect them from the ugliness that is out there and they naturally look to you to do that.

Next, Meg shares some scary statistics. Here are a few:

What is taught in sex ed. It is ridiculous. Make sure you understand what your school teaches.

One in five Americans over age twelve tests positive for genital herpes.

9% of girls fourteen to seventeen years old experience unwanted sex, primarily because they fear their boyfriends will get angry.

5% of high school girls have had sad, hopeless feelings for longer than 2 weeks. Many physicians call this clinical depression.

6% of Caucasian, 20.7% of Hispanic and 12.4% of African American females have made suicide plans in the last year.

8% of high school students drank alcohol before the age of thirteen.

7% of high school students have used some form of cocaine.

Kids spend 6.5 hours per day watching media of some form.

Kids with TVs in their bedrooms watch 1.5 hours more TV than kids who do not have TVs in their bedrooms. I’m sure this stat would hold true for smartphones.

Meg goes on to cite numerous statistics about how families can win the war against media through strong relationships with their kids. We can win this fight!

Chapter 2 – She Needs a Hero

Despite whatever outward impression she gives, your daughter’ life is centered on discovering what you like about her and what you want from her. She cannot feel good about herself until she knows you feel good about her. She does not want to see you as her equal. She wants you to be her hero. Someone stronger, steadier and smarter than she is.

The only way you will alienate your daughter is by losing her respect by failing to lead or failing to protect her. If you fail to meet her needs, she will find someone who will. That is where all the trouble can begin.

One of the best things you can do as a father is to raise your daughters’ expectations about life. Let her know that she is God’s masterpiece and that she will do great things in this life.

Deep down, we all want authority and rules in our life. We may instinctively want to buck authority, but when our world starts to fall apart, we run to the person who is that authority in our life.

Meg also suggests putting your expectations for your children in writing, now – while they are young. Teenagers are excellent at tangling your thinking. Write down your rules now. Laminate them, carve then into stone

Chapter 3 – You are Her First Love

You are her first love. You have other loves in your life, but she does not. Every man who enters into her life will be compared to you. If you have a good relationship with her and her mom, she will choose boyfriends who will treat her well.

Always be positive. Admire her deep, intrinsic qualities. Always keep the bar high. She will live up to the standards you set.

As she grows older, don’t assume she is capable of making good decisions. Protect her so she is in a safe place to make poor decisions – kids always will make bad decisions. It is how they learn. Enforce curfew. Girls with a curfew know that someone cares and is waiting up for them at home.

Pay attention. Listen closely. It takes time and patience, but it will build bonds that will last a lifetime. Start daddy-daughter times when they are young and stick with it. Teenagers need you more than at any other time in their life.

If you stay with her, look at her and keep listening to her she will always come back for more. She will feel more attractive and rightfully assume that boys that don’t want to be with her have a problem (because you are smarter and wiser than they are). This is a very good thing.

Chapter 4 – Teach Her Humility

“Humility is not thinking less of ourselves, it is thinking of ourselves less.” – C.S. Lewis

“It is not about you.” – the first sentence of The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.

Humility is hard and it must be modeled. It is the starting point for every other virtue. Humility means having a proper perspective on ourselves, of seeing ourselves as we really are. It also means knowing that every person has equal worth.

Take pride in her accomplishments, but don’t go overboard. Always recognize the accomplishments of her peers as well.

Make sure that she knows that her accomplishments do not define her. Her maker already did that. Trying to define ourselves with accomplishments and stuff is a never ending trap. Give her a firm foundation of who she is in God and it will serve her well forever.

Don’t let the world revolve around her.

Chapter 5 – Protect Her, Defend Her (and use a shotgun if necessary)

Let her know that she is beautiful.

Hug her. It is that important to her. Tell her you love her and how precious she is.

Every boy that dates your daughter needs to know he is responsible to you.

Be aware of the mixed messages she will receive about sex from school. Make sure that your message is the final word on the subject.

She might hate you for this in the short term, but she will thank you for protecting her and she will tell you that sooner than you might expect.

Chapter 6 – Pragmatism and Grit: Two of Your Greatest Assets

It’s OK.

Men are pragmatists. They look for solutions – often when our wives and daughters only want to be heard. Don’t negate listening, but your family needs your pragmatism, your realism, your solutions.

Daughters can become only one of two types of women; princesses or pioneer women. Praise the Lord he brought me a pioneer woman to marry. That gives our girls a much greater chance at becoming pioneers themselves.

Princesses believe they deserve a better life and expect others to serve them. Pioneers know that their hard work is how they achieve improvement in their lives. They are in charge of their own happiness.

You must teach your daughter to be a pioneer. The other option is not good and can lead to a host of bad decisions later – like marrying for money and stability.

Grit – Your family needs and deserves your best. As men, we often use up the best of us at work and have little left for home. That is not acceptable. We must get our heads right and game faces on for the job (the most important job) that waits for us when we walk in the door to our homes.

Divorce – It is the central problem that has created a generation of young adults who are at higher risk for chaotic relationships, sexually transmitted diseases and confusion about life’s purpose.

Don’t get confused and believe that going to church will keep your family together. Turns out the divorce rate in the church is about equal to that of the non-church going world. You must live out your faith at home and fight to keep your family together.

When your life nears its end your family will be your greatest accomplishment, not any businesses or buildings you may have built.

Chapter 7 – Be the Man You Want Her to Marry

Think about the standards you’d like your daughter’s future husband to meet. Pretty high, right? Do you live up to those same high standards?

It’s tough medicine to swallow, but we likely have higher standards for our daughter’s future husbands than we maintain for ourselves as husbands to their mothers. We’ve got a ton of great excuses. Work is so hard, I have so little time for me, blah, blah…

Are you always patient and kind? Are you an encourager? One day you will be walking her down the aisle to marry a man that will be very much like you. It is the way women are made. They are drawn to what they know.

Show your daughter that your relationship with your family is more important than possessions and expensive vacations. Make the family your priority.

It is a great strength to live knowing that if you lost every material possession, you would still have a life worth living!

Let her know that you will disappoint her. You’ll try very hard not to, but you will. You are human.

Chapter 9 – Teach Her to Fight

Women are emotional. This is truer for teenagers. They have emotions and impulses that must be kept in check or bad decisions will be made. As the Dad, you can help her make good decisions and make bad decisions safely through your direction and authority.

You understand how to battle impulses. You’ve won some battles and probably lost plenty. Your daughter does not know how to battle her impulses yet. That is why she needs you to make her life a safe place to learn these hard lessons.

Choose your battles carefully. Never budge on honesty, integrity, courage and humility. You can let a lot of the other stuff go.

Your daughter’s brain and her capacity for rational thought will not be fully developed until her late teens or early twenties. This is when she needs you most. Don’t get her to 16 years old and assume she is fully qualified to make great decisions.

Chapter 10 – Keep Her Connected

You, Dad, are the most important person in your daughter’s life. Keeping your family together and spending time together as a family is what will help your children avoid the traps in life (sex, drugs, alcohol, gangs). It has been proven time after time. Families that stay together have more successful kids.

Give your kids experiences. Hang out with them, have fun and be a great example. Get away from all the screens, get outdoors, have adventures, have conversations.

Hopefully, this book will help. Maybe this quick summary will encourage more dads to read the actual book (you really must – it is that good).

To all you Dads, fight the good fight.

[purplesurveys]

655

Can you name a uniquely named crayon in the Crayola 64 pack? The one color name I have never ever EVER forgotten in the last 15 or so years I’ve been aware of Crayola 64, is macaroni and cheese. I used it a lot solely because of its name. Carnation pink was also pretty unique to me, and I remember being bothered as a kid as to why they didn’t just name it pink lmao. What kind of car did your parents have while you were growing up? We used to have a sky blue Mitsubishi Lancer that was around for a little over a decade. Do you tie your socks together or roll them up? I roll them up and put it in a ball. I am not aware that tying up socks is a thing. When's the last time you had peanut butter? Ooh, safe to say it was many months ago. I don’t really like peanut butter as a filling; I like peanut-butter flavored food more, but I haven’t had those in a while, either. What was your last bad date? It’s been a while. My girlfriend and I barely see each other, so we try not to fight in the 1-2 times a week that we get to hang out.

Do you ever wish your birthday was on a different day? In 2019 I certainly wished it was on a different day, because my birthday then was on the same day as Easter and none of my friends were available to celebrate with me – save for Angela who went great lengths to make sure she at least had dinner with me and made me feel less sucky. What holiday would you want to have your birthday on? I’d never want to have my birthday on a holiday again, if that last answer wasn’t clear enough. Have you ever gone snorkeling or scuba diving? I’ve gone snorkeling in Boracay and Palawan, and that one time we went on a beach trip for biology class in high school. I’ve never tried scuba diving, and I’m a little anxious to give it a shot if ever because I feel like it’s a little more complicated to follow than just snorkeling.

If yes, what's the coolest thing you've seen? Allow me to be a kid in answering this, because the genuinely coolest creatures I have ever seen are the Nemo and Dory kinds of fish :)))))) Do you sunburn easily? As a kid yes. They used to hurt a lot too. I don’t sunburn at all now but I do get very tan. What's your favorite filling in chocolates? Peanut butter. When's the last time you had a smore? Sometime in senior year of high school. I had a brief phase of liking smores, but then I ordered it too much and I got tired of it quickly. Have you read the Twilight series? More times than I could count. Does your best friend have any phobias? Not really a phobia but Gabie doesn’t like being in malls as they are closing because she gets scared of the sound of the roll-up doors getting pulled down. She says she feels like she’ll get trapped inside the mall hahaha. What's the last thing you said to your mom? I asked her if she wanted a kind of snack I know she likes, since I’ll be passing by the store that has them. Why couldn't you go to sleep the last time you were up all night? This doesn’t happen to me, fortunately. If I can’t sleep, watching YouTube videos while in bed would do the trick. What breed of dog do you find the most annoying? Fucking chihuahuas. I care for them whenever it’s necessary e.g. if I hear a story about an abused chihuahua, but in the grand scheme of things I do not like them at all. Do you prefer the taste of lemon or limes? Lemon. What do you think about Sarah Palin running for president in 2012? I don’t have much knowledge or opinion of politics of other countries. What would you name your firstborn son? I’d definitely insert a tribute to my significant other’s dad as a second name, but I’m still not 100% sure on a first name. Do you cook anything you don't like eating? I can’t even cook food that I do like, lmao. What's the last picture you colored? It’s a photo of a group of houses, which is a page in an adult coloring book that I own. Do you make out sentences out of the little Vday candy hearts? No. What is the cheesiest way a guy could propose marriage? Idk, anything can be cheesy/sweet as long as you pull it off.

Do you watch any reality shows on MTV or VH1? I never did. Would you have a better chance of surviving in the Sahara or Alaska? Sahara. I’m in a tropical climate, so I feel like I’d have some survival hacks somewhere hot. I don’t know how winter works at all, and what to prepare for it. When's the last time you pet a cat? Last night, when I played with the only kind cat in my college. Were you missing your front teeth as a child? My front teeth were the first ones to fall out, so for a time I was missing them, yes. They grew back after a few months though, as did my other teeth. Do you remember Eureka's Castle on Nick JR? I always encounter the title but I don’t think I’ve actually seen it or if it aired here at all. What's the last song you hummed to cuz you didn't know the lyrics? The new songs Hayley Williams put out AS A SOLO ARTIST!!!!!!!!!!!! that I have yet to memorize – Sudden Desire, Creepin’, and Cinnamon. What would you say is Paris Hilton's occupation? She’s a businesswoman. And a successful one at that, lmao. If you could have a body like any celebrity's, who would it be? Idk I don’t find myself wanting anyone’s figure. If you could have any celebrity's baby, who would it be? Now this is just creepy. Do you know anyone whose name starts with Sh? Yeah, I have an orgmate named Shealea, a co-member in the graduating batch committee named Shaira, and a high school batchmate named Shela. I’m sure there are more but they’re the first ones I remembered. What's the worst Christmas present you've ever received? I don’t rate my gifts from best to worst. I’ve loved all my gifts. Are you wearing a necklace? Nopes. Do you have any noticeable moles or birthmarks? I have a birthmark behind my left shoulder that’s visible when I’m wearing a sleeveless top, and a mole on my right arm. Is there a salon you religously go to for beauty care? No. Quite the opposite situation actually - I haven’t been to a salon since 2018 :/ Count to ten in another language. I know two other languages (Filipino and Korean), so I’ll just give both of theirs haha. Isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat, lima, anim, pito, walo, siyam, sampu; and hana, dul, set, net, daseot, yeoseot, ilgop, yeodeol, ahop, yeol. Do you feel uncomfortable telling friends they have boogers in their nose? Yeah, but I don’t encounter this situation a lot. What do you remember from sex ed class when you were younger? We weren’t given sex ed, we were just taught the female and male reproductive systems in Grade 5 and that was it. I didn’t know how babies were made until I was in Grade 6, and before that I just thought all women who got married got pregnant automatically, as if the body knows.

What's the first instrument you ever played? That I don’t necessarily know how to play? My best guess is the piano. My mom took photos of me when I was a year old playing the grand piano at my aunt’s house, so that was probably the first. Are you a mommy's child or daddy's child? Daddy’s girl, for sure. What's the last thing you wore around your neck? A lanyard holding my car keys. My ID used to be attached to the lanyard but I’ve since lost it, so now it’s my keys that hang from it. Would you ever eat rhino meat? Like once, just to try it out and because I’m more of an adventurous eater. Who do you think deserves an award? Me, after finishing the shitstorm that was last week lol. Have you ever had a friend break up with a bf/gf for you? No. Do you own any books with a red cover? Yeah. Chris Jericho’s second autobiography Undisputed is predominantly red.

[maamchanslittlebabies-blog]

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX (by Kimmi Harielle Ramirez So)

Note: This is not to disrespect the Catholic Church and its believers, but to educate people on why sexual education must be discussed without the inclusivity of religion.

I was in Grade 4 when the RH Bill was headlined on every newspaper. I can't remember when, but it was signed at some point and became a law. It guarantees access to maternal care, contraception, fertility control, and sexual education. Take note of those last two words.

I remember being taught about the male and female anatomy, menarche, a couple of STDs, and nothing more in Grade 5. In Grade 8, a helpful symposium in our school gymnasium was held by gynecologists. At Grade 11, the only information on sexuality I had were those I learned in Grades 5 and 8. Luckily, in Grade 12, I got back my love for learning. In my readings, I have found that there was so much I should've known but was programmed to not know because of the Catholic Church. I felt fooled because I debunked myths about my body which I've been believing all my life.

Monsignor Pedro Quitorio from the Catholic Bishops Conference, in 2014, said that "Children are fragile creatures. The [education] department should be very, very careful not to teach children about matters they will imitate the following day," and all I have to say is his statement is pure nonsense. Yes, children like me are fragile, but we are people! We ought to know what's happening to our bodies. It's our right.

As a 21st century student, I want and I need to be aware of more than just the parts of the reproductive system. Because of my Grade 5 science lessons, I know that the set of organs between my legs are different from that of males, but it is not enough for us to be able to identify what cervixes are or define what menarche is. We need to know why getting tested for HIV is necessary, how the many sexual orientations differ from one another, what consent is and isn't, how to have safe sex, and the like. The Church is holding us back from finding out the answers to these questions. They keep insisting that sex ed should be about things like masturbation and homosexuality being sins and chastity and virginity being praise-worthy descriptions. Otherwise, it promotes "promiscuity" and should have no place in schools. Absolute rubbish. They're compromising scientific accuracy by shoving abstinence down our throats.

I respect God and I respect Jesus. Their followers, however, get on my nerves every time their tongues rise against our rights to proper education. I appreciate how much they stand for their beliefs, but is it too much to ask them to stand back and let science take the wheel just this time? Depriving us of sex education won't stop us from being curious about our bodily functions. It will only give birth to questions they will refuse to answer, and where do teens turn to when their questions are unanswered? Not to their parents. Not to their teachers. They turn to pornography, which provides unrealistic and uneducational perceptions of sex. They turn to their friends who don't know any better than they do. Which now, will cause more trouble? A world with sex ed or a world without it?

Religious taboos are trying to program us into thinking that the vagueness of terms in proper sex ed -- "acquaintance rape," "autoeurotic asphyxiation," "chlamydia," "dilators," to name a few, are going to make us teens perform acts of sexual misconduct, when it won't. It won't make us promiscuous. It won't get girls like me pregnant at this age. What will it do? It will lower the rates of teenage pregnancy. It will inform us on the best contraceptives to use depending on our bodily conditons. It will teach people not to rape. There should be no ambiguity and omissions when it comes to education. Learning should not be subject to appropriateness. Sex ed tackles topics that are, whether the Church likes it or not, a reality for teenagers. This is our health we're talking about. These matters must be dealt with seriously.

Currently, my fellow Gen-Zers (proper term for people born between the years 1996-present) and I are teaching each other about sexuality. This shouldn't be the case, but we're trying to make an effort instead of taking our bodies for granted like the Church does. On that note, I'd like to say that no, I did not get pregnant for learning about sex.

#MaamChan #MaamSambog

[toosmallinabigworld-blog]

Hitchhiker’s Guide to Female Sex Education

I decided I would write this post because almost every woman I know has taken sex ed in school but didn’t gain an immense amount of knowledge from it. They learned anatomy,  learned about heterosexual sex only, that the ONLY way to not get pregnant is by being abstinent (not totally true), and how to put on a condom. I understand why they didn’t go into some of the nitty gritty, it may have been a bit too graphic for high schoolers (doubtful for most). But I think they also missed some really important things. I lucked out and the school I went to actually did a pretty great job with sex ed. So I figured I would share my knowledge. Some of which definitely isn’t high school appropriate, but we’re all adults here right? I hope. And for the guys who are inevitably reading this, because you know, it's SEX education (or you're genuinely curious. And if that's the case, rock on). This information is actually rather pertinent to you as well. This is an opportunity to get some insider information. Think about it, wouldn't it be easier to please your lady if you knew the things about her body that she did? See, told you, this is pertinent to you.

Let’s start with an anatomy review. Vagina first. Since I don’t have access to non copyrighted pictures I’m just going to crash course you through this with words. Wish me luck. To begin, when you look at a vagina head on you’re going to see a lot of things. That also may have been one of the strangest sentences I have ever written. The first thing you should know about is the Mons Pubis*. That’s the fancy term for the skin that’s above the lips. Some women may have hair there, some none at all, some just a bit. That’s THEIR prerogative. I cannot count the amount of times I’ve had a guy ask me to shave (only one woman has). News flash, what a woman does with her pubic hair is up to her. If you wouldn’t personally do it, don’t ask her to. It’s a preference and if you prefer it a certain way that’s totally fine. Just don’t assume that your word is the only thing she is going to consider. Afterall it is her body. This goes for men and women. Just below the mons pubis is the first set of vaginal lips, the labia majora, those are pretty self explanatory. And a little further inside those lips is the labia minora. Now, I’m going to harp on this part here for a second. Just like boobs, and balls, the lips usually don’t look identical. The vast majority of women don’t have perfect little porn pussies. Because I’m a nerd and I like to be accurate I did some research and I found a cross-sectional study of 244 women done by the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at Kolding Medical Center*. Which found 56% of the women had visible labia minora. All of the girls I’ve talked to who have this, have been really insecure about it because they had received criticism from men about what they looked like. Had their labia referred to as “meat curtains”, “roast beef lips” or in my case “flappy flaps”. How fucking rude? Women can’t control what their vaginas look like (without surgical intervention) just like men can’t control what their scrotums looks like. Get over it, you’re not perfect either. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system lets continue. At the opening of the labia majora you’ll see a little mound. That mound is the clitoral hood and hiding under there is the clitoris. Also known as the clit, rosebud, man in a canoe, the bean, ect. The clit has 8,000 nerve endings, double what the head of the penis has. Hence why it’s so sensitive. But the clit isn’t just external. Under the skin the nerves of the clit spread out like a wishbone. Under the clit a few centimeters is the urethral opening, i.e. where the pee comes out. And below that, everyone’s favorite place, the vaginal opening! Did you know that the vagina is only on the inside? I don’t think I need to explain what that is for but just for posterity I will. That is where a baby comes out of when it’s born, where a penis, fingers, or toys is inserted. Now, inside the vagina there is some fun stuff too. About two inches in, give or take, at the top of the vagina there is a spot that has about the same texture of a knit sweater. That is the mysterious and elusive g spot. I say give or take because every woman is different. The G spot is a magical spot because that is one of the spots that a woman derives pleasure from. Think of it as the clit’s little sister. Find it and you’ll be considered a winner, because stimulating it feels phenomenal. Something else I should mention that they actually do mention in sex ed, I think. Inside the vagina you have the hymen. It is a piece of skin that is what’s “popped” when you have sex with a virgin. However you have been mislead to believe that if a woman doesn’t have a hymen that she is not a virgin. That is incorrect. According to Planned Parenthood many times women have a large hole in their hymen to begin to allow blood to flow through during menstruation. There are things that can stretch the hymen out naturally; riding a bike frequently, regular vigorous spots, inserting tampons or fingers. I don’t know one single woman who when they started using tampons didn’t stick a finger up there a time or two to make sure their tampon was secure. Glad that’s out of the way and we can stop hymen shaming. You have now ment the vagina. Congratulations, you’re now on first name basis.

Since we’re on the topic of the vagina. “Let’s talk about sex baby”! I want to start with the abstinence comment I mentioned earlier. As women we are taught that the ONLY way we can’t get pregnant is abstinence, that isn’t true. Is it true for heterosexual sex? Absolutely. You can get pregnant having  anal sex with a man however, according to American Pregnancy Association*. However, it is phenomenally unlikely. But not impossible. But with lady on lady  sex, nope. Women born as gender confirmed women don’t have sperm. That’s just a fact. So the only way a woman would be able to get another woman pregnant would be if they had a way to introduce sperm into the equation. Whilst we’re on the topic of ladies having sex, let’s talk about protection when it comes to women.

I got really lucky in that my school brought in a nurse to talk to my fellow students about ALL of the types of contraception. That’s actually how I started taking birth control. The nurse was so kind and advised me on how to talk to my mom about it. Also side note/tangent whilst we are here. If you’re still on your parents insurance and not on birth control but you want to be, here’s how I talked to my parents about it. I told my mom that at the time I wasn’t having sex (I wasn’t I promise) but in the event that I did I wanted to be on it just incase. It’s my body and I wanted to be in control of my sexual health and be an adult about it. And she was really respondent to that. It’s all about broaching the subject in a way that your parents will understand. You don’t have to explain it the same way that I did, but being your parents they do want you to be safe and take the proper precautions if you are going to have sex. So good lucky mis amigas. Back to contraception with women. Even though another woman can’t get you pregnant, that does not mean she can’t give you an STI (I also want to talk about those but I’ll come back to it. Haha, come…. get it. I shouldn’t tell jokes). Had that nurse not told me about this I would have NEVER known about them. But there are these things called dental dams. They’re essentially a lady condom in the sense that you put the latex material over the lady’s clit/vaginal opening and go to town. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s a step. What’s hilarious about dental dams is that when I looked them up the first result was for actual dental use. So if you’re afraid of the dentist, next time you go and they use one of those. Just think, there’s a lady getting eaten out somewhere with the same thing. Have a good chuckle and alleviate your anxiety.  Onto contraception when having sex with a man, unfairly to the LGBTQ+ community there is an insanely large contraception market for penis in vagina sex. For women you have the pill, IUDs (don’t confuse those with IEDs, literally fatal mistake, I make the mistake when I say it all the time), the diaphragm (not my first recommendation, it’s very complicated to insert, there is a time frame in which you have to insert it before sex, and it also requires spermicide to be fully effective), sponge, shot, implant, vaginal ring. When it comes to contraception it’s personal preference; I go for the pill and condoms. Tried and true. You still can get pregnant regardless of contraception method though, just be aware of that. Also HUGE NOTE that a lot of women I know don’t know. Some antibiotics make your birth control ineffective. I have a friend who shall remain nameless that had sex whilst his girlfriend was on antibiotics and the pill and now he has a child. Just a very important warning. And for the boys….y’all got condoms and spermicide, Godspeed, don’t fuck it up. Also another thing. Condoms have expiry dates, the spermicide on them wears away after time. Also don’t keep them in your wallet. Think about how much abuse that thing takes, and in turn that condom is taking. Check for holes in the condom and wrap up boys.

The contraception talk feels like a perfect segway into talking about STIs. Again I got very lucky with my school’s sex ed and we had a few VERY graphic classes about them and how they are transmitted. I also took an Intro To Human Disease class in college that went into even more scary gory details. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TALK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT THEIR SEXUAL HISTORY! We are taught to always wear a condom. But we aren’t usually taught to have the conversation with your partner about who they have had sex with and their testing history. I know it’s an awkward and embarrassing conversation. Nobody wants to have an STI but it’s an immensely important discussion. The best sex is safe sex. And knowing if your partner has something is important. It shouldn’t be a conversation where you shame your partner, mistakes happen. Some having more serious consequences than others. Which leads us nicely into testing. It is recommended that you get tested after each partner unless you’re monogamous and fully aware of your partners situation. I know getting tested can be scary, I’ve been tested myself. But in most cases the doctor, PA, or nurse who tests you is going to be very kind about it. It’s important to take care of yourself and that includes your sexual health. STIs run rampant in this country, so much that there are medication resistant strains of Chlamydia and Gonorrhea running around. So be nice to your penis or vagina and get it tested. It will thank you. Not verbally I hope, that would be weird I’ve gotta say.

Now that we have conversed about safety let’s talk about another prevalent symptom of having sex, particularly as a woman. Slut shaming. It is huge, I know so so many girls including myself who have been shamed for having sex. It’s a total double standard. A man sleeps around and he’s just considered another bro, a player swimming in pussy. And a girl is looked at as dirty and impure. News flash ladies and gents. Everyone has sex, the frequency in which they do that is nothing to judge. As long as they are STI free, consenting, and into you, go forth and fornicate. The amount of people someone has had sex with is by no means indicative of who they are as a person. You can be what I refer to as a sexual creature and still be a Mother Theresa type. Don’t rush to judge someone just because they have a lot of sexual experiences. It’s ok to love sex, just be safe about it.

Last thing about vaginas and then we will move on. Let’s talk periods. Every man’s favorite subject. Every woman has one and as I’m sure you are aware. They Suck Ass. For some of the boys reading this who don’t understand periods let me explain. Your period happens once a month every month, usually on the same days each month but some women have irregular periods. A period is when your uterus sheds its lining. It does this when there isn’t a fertilized egg. Which can cause: cramps, heavy bleeding, headaches, bloating, changes in mood, breast tenderness and swelling, diarrhea, nausea, general pain. So yea, having a period really sucks. And next time you bitch someone out for being on their period just think, would you want to bleed the consistency of snot for a week through your dick? And be bloated, in pain, and craving chocolate constantly (that one may just be me)? No, I didn’t think so.

Now that we’ve covered the vagina, let’s talk tits. Every person I have ever met, including my asexual friends likes boobs. They’re fun, that’s just a fact. They’re warm, usually very soft, squishy (also sometimes firm), they look good, and they sustain life for infants. What’s not to love?  There are a multitude of things I’m sure not a lot of people know about boobs. Let’s start with nipples. Not every woman’s nipples are going to be these perfect pink button sized nipples. Some are flat (meaning the nipple isn’t raised), one is bigger than the other, they may not be pink (red, brown, rosy pink, ect.), they may have hair on them, one may be flat and the other isn’t (mine). Nipples just like people come in all shapes and sizes, so no nipple shaming. Hanging out with the nipple is that areola. That is the colored circle around the nipple. Again these are probably not going to be the exact same size, may not even be circular, may be large or small. I hate hearing people call someone with large areolas pepperoni nipples. You can’t choose your areolas, just like you can’t choose to have leg bones. It is how it is. Guys, you know how most of you have one ball that hangs lower than the other? It’s the same for women, except one tit is usually bigger than the other. The only ones that I know of that aren’t like that are the plastic ones. And it shouldn’t be something to be self conscious of because I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have that. Now, if you notice something irregular about your breast you should pay attention to it. Random nipple discharge, lumps in your breasts, tenderness not from a period or injury. These are all things you should talk to your doctor about. And I know from personal experience how scary that can be, I found a nodule in my breast that just turned out to be a cyst. And I only discovered this because I do regular self breast examinations. I cannot stress how important it is to do these. You could (god forbid) discover an irregularity that turns out to be cancer. But because you check yourself you found it early and got it taken care of. To do an examination, lay on your back with one arm above your head. Using 2-4 fingers massage around your breast in quadrants. Mentally split your breast into four and go section by section. Normal breast tissue should feel almost like a cable knit sweater. And I know this may seem awkward but if you do feel something off, talk to your mom about it. My mom alleviated so much stress for me when she said it didn’t feel serious and my doctor confirmed it. You should also feel the nipples, and up into your armpit. Because the breast tissue extends through there. MEN, you too can also get breast cancer. It is less common but do still examine yourself. I check myself on the 9th of every month. It’s a routine and it reminds me to take care of myself. So ladies and gents, get your squish on.

We have now reached the end of the post. And I hope that I could instill some knowledge in you. I think it’s really important to know your body and everything that is going on with it. And I also find it important to be generally informed that way if you’re with your partner and you feel something strange you can let them know about it. Knowledge is power my friends. Thank you for reading and I hope you were able to get something out of this. It was fun to write.

*Citations:

"Clitorian Anatomy." Clitorian Female Masturbation and the Clitoris , www.clitorian.com/AnatomyPage.html.

Lykkebo, AW, et al. "The Size of Labia Minora and Perception of Genital Appearance: A Cross-Sectional Study." PubMed.gov, NCBI, 23 July 2017, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28369012. Accessed 17 Apr. 2019

"Virginity." Plannedparenthood.com, Planned Parenthood , www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/sex/virginity..

"Can Pregnancy Occur If…? Pregnancy Myths Cleared Up!" American Pregnancy Association Promoting Pregnancy Wellness, 23 May 2017, americanpregnancy.org/preventing-pregnancy/pregnancy-myths/.

[tuesytuesday]

NAME: Tedd Ivan A. Tiongco

ISSUE: Sex Education

THESIS STATEMENT: Possible effects of sex education among students

Sex Education can help students to be open minded and be aware in their sexual health.

“‘I thought I could get pregnant from kissing a boy when I was 13. I don’t want my children to have misconceptions like that’. My daughter was only taught biological function for both anatomies. While it was great that the entire class learned what a maxi pad looked like, and how to use it, this topic was covered at home much earlier than age 12. As evidence is showing that children are going through puberty at younger ages, some of this material was a moot point for some students. I do applaud having male and female students being taught together. My sex education was abysmal. Non-existent. I’d much rather let them be prepared and educated properly than learning things the hard way.” This was from a mother named Shannon whose child were taught about sex in the hard way. This is one of the reasons why sex education should be implemented in schools.

What is sex education? What is the importance of implementing it in schools? Is it necessary? What are the benefits of the students learning about sex education?

Sex education is the study about human sexuality, sexual activity, safe sex, pregnancy, contraception, human growth and development, sexual health and behaviour. Sex education should be implemented in school because of these following reasons:

First, sex education gives awareness towards sex. Having limited knowledge about sex may lead to wrong assumption that gives misunderstood and misjudgement to the topic. Through proper teaching and with correct knowledge, misinformation may reduce. Sex education can be also a tool to help everyone to prevent being infected from HIV virus and other sexual diseases.

According to the UNAIDS 2008 Global Report on the AIDS Epidemic, only 40% of young people aged 15-24 had accurate knowledge about HIV and transmission. It should come as no surprise that, against this background of insufficient levels of basic knowledge, young people aged 15-24 account for 40% of all new HIV infections (UNAIDS 2009 AIDS Epidemic Update).

In response to this challenge, the voluntary and non-mandatory International Technical Guidance on Sexuality Education, developed by UNESCO in partnership with UNAIDS UNFPA, UNICEF and WHO seeks to assist education, health and other relevant authorities to develop and implement school-based sexuality education materials and programs.

Second, sex education can decrease the teenage pregnancy rate. If every individual know about the consequences they would suffer from, they will become more cautious and careful in making decisions. They will know that sexual activities come not only with pleasures, but also responsibilities.

Numerous studies show that curricula providing accurate information about condoms and contraception can lead to reductions in the risky behaviours reported by young people. A number of evaluations also show reductions in unintended pregnancies and STIs. By contrast, programs that teach only abstinence have not been shown to be effective.

A 2010 review found that “gender-focused” curricula – meaning curricula that integrate gender equality into the learning material – were substantially more effective in reducing risky behaviours than programs that did not consider gender. Further research shows that young people who adopt egalitarian attitudes about gender roles are more likely to delay sexual initiation, use condoms and practice contraception. They also have lower rates of STIs, including HIV, and unintended pregnancy, and they are less likely to be in violent relationships.

By emphasizing rights and gender issues, these programs help reduce gender-based violence and bullying, promote safe schools, empower young people to advocate for their own rights, and advance gender equality.

Third, communication between parent and child will be increased. Teenagers mostly share their problems with their parent or someone they trust the most. Without sex education in school, they will feel shy and uncertain in even mentioning sexual matters with their parents. With participation of parents in the program, morals and values will be better instilled in children. Parent and child relationship is important because it helps to straighten and correct the misinformation and misunderstood of the child to a certain topic.

A major study showed that adolescents who reported feeling connected to parents and their families were more likely than other teens to delay initiating sexual intercourse. Teens who said their families were warm and caring also reported less marijuana use and less emotional distress than their peers.

When parents and youth have good communication, along with appropriate firmness, studies have shown youth report less depression and anxiety and more self-reliance and self-esteem. They also report older age of first intercourse and lower frequency of sex during adolescence than their peers.

Lack of communication also affects behaviours and attitudes. In studies, young people who reported feeling a lack of parental warmth, love, or caring were also more likely to report emotional distress, lower self-esteem, school problems, drug use, and sexual risk behaviours.

Some say that sex education will only lead to untimely sex and will only drive children to use contraception which is not true. Lack of knowledge does. If the person is not knowledgeable enough to a certain topic, his/her curiosity increases and who knows what this person may do. According to Advocates for Youth organization, evaluations of comprehensive sex education and HIV/STI prevention programs show that they do not increase rates sexual initiation, do not lower the age at which youth initiate sex, and do not increase the frequency of sex or the number of sex partners among sexually active youths. Sex education helps every individual to open up their minds and also to correct their misconceptions about the topic. Also, sex education enables young people to make informed decisions about their sexuality. The more we know about sex, the more we are able to make the right decisions. Providing comprehensive sexuality education to children and young people is viewed by the Executive Director of UNAIDS as the “most important opportunity in breaking the trajectory of the epidemic.”

In conclusion, sex education must be implemented in school. It is because we know that sex is one of our physiological needs. We should understand this topic deeper for us to be well informed and be more cautious by making our own decisions. Also, for us to prevent from the diseases we may get from having unsafe sex. Sex education gives STD awareness and better protection. In addition it also reduced sexual activities and pregnancy rate. According to Planned Parenthood organization, the goals of comprehensive sex education are to help young people gain a positive view of sexuality and to provide them with developmentally appropriate knowledge and skills so that they can make healthy decisions about their sex lives now and in the future. Medically accurate sex education is an investment in our children’s future – their well-being. Our “return on investment” could be a generation of young people who have heard more helpful messages about sexuality than the provocative media images and/or silences they currently witness. It could be a generation of women and men comfortable in their own skin; able to make well-informed, responsible decisions; form healthy relationships; and take care of their bodies.

REFERENCES:

http://globalnews.ca/news/1545815/sex-ed-your-stories/

http://www.unesco.org/new/en/hiv-and-aids/our-priorities-in-hiv/sexuality-education/international-technical-guidance-on-sexuality-education/

http://www.unfpa.org/comprehensive-sexuality-education

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/the-facts-parent-child-communication

[polyrolemodels]

Kenna Cook

1. How long have you been polyamorous or been practicing polyamory?

I've been practicing poly since December 2015. I got out of a toxic monogamous marriage in the summer of 2015, started reading The Ethical Slut, and everything about how unhappy and unfulfilling my relationships had been started to make sense.

2. What does your relationship dynamic look like?

I currently have one primary partner who lives with me and we are raising my 2 kids together. I have another part-time or "comet" partner that I see maybe once a month or so, and  we stay connected through texts and sweet, sexy messages.

3. What aspect of polyamory do you excel at?

I think I'm really good at compersion. In our monogamy-centered society, we are taught to believe that jealousy and possession equals love and affection. These unhealthy relationship ticks are what caused years of pain in my dating life. I never learned I could have compersion until I tried poly. Practising compersion has shown me that the more love my partners bring into their life, the more love they have to share with me. When my partners can see that I am truly elated for them to explore with their hearts, our love grows deeper.

4. What aspect of polyamory do you struggle with?

Honestly, I struggle with time management like woah. I have a full-time muggle job, a part-time sex ed side hustle, 2 full time kiddos - plus dating and maintain relationships. It's a lot! Most of the people I have dated don't have as much on their plates as I do, so when my time gets out of whack there can be resentments on both sides of the relationship.

5. How do you address and/or overcome those struggles?

I have learned that I need to be really clear about how realistic my availability is with prospective partners. When I first started dating, I would say I was always available, and then scramble to make it all fit. That burnt me out fast. Now, I put myself and my family first and my partners need to be willing to work around that to be in a relationship with me.

6. In terms of risk-aware/safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

Being a sex educator makes safe sex easier since I'm always talking or thinking or writing about it, but being poly is actually what got me into talking more openly about boundaries and consent. Now, I ask to see test results and require all forms of penetration to use barriers when having sex with new partners. In my established relationships, we still talk about what would feel best in the moment. I like using condoms on sex toys and gloves for hand sex all the time. It's also important that I know where someone else is at in their relationship agreement, so that if they are saying yes to something that their partner wouldn't consent to because of their relationship agreement, I am not going to be comfortable doing that.

7. What is the worst mistake you've ever made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that?

Oh god! This is making me squick! I've done some really dumb things, like sleep with someone without knowing their sexual health status, booked dates with different partners at the same time and had to bail on one, lied about being ok with a partner drinking around me when I was fresh in sobriety. But I think the one that hurt me the worst would be not checking in with my last girlfriend about meeting her needs for quality time. We had very different schedules and social lives outside of work (surprise! we worked together!). The majority of the time we spent together was on lunches and in between meetings. This gave me the illusion that we were seeing each other frequently enough that I didn't have to make extra time in my schedule for sleepovers and date nights. We broke up after 6 months because her love tank was empty. I was devastated because we had such stellar communication, but if we didn't work together, it would have been more obvious to me how little we were actually getting quality time.

8. What self-identities are important to you? How do you feel like being polyamorous intersects with or affects these identities?

I have 4 very important identities - Queer. Sober. Sex-positive. Mother. I am all of these and none exists separately from the rest. I've had partners who only wanted to love 2 or 3 of them, but loving me means loving all parts of me. And the identity that I've had the most trouble with others respecting is me being a mother and the amount of time my kids get with me. It's almost like these people see me as this free-spirited, celestial sex goddess, and the idea that I am also a mom just doesn't compute.

Check out my blog at medium.com/@mamacookling and follow me on twitter.com/mamacookling. I will be launching a website in the fall called Sex Plus Parenting!

---

Support Inclusive Polyamorous Representation at  https://www.patreon.com/PolyRoleModels

[gfiedlerbi214]

Unit 3

Psychology of Sex, Reproductive Anatomy, Fertility and Contraception, Pregnancy and Childbirth, Sexual Disease and Prevention

Browse the Overview and Lecture pages.  How much/what do you already know about this topic?  What are you interested in learning about/initial questions.

I am familiar with what has been taught in anatomy classes and other sex-health related subjects in school. I am interested in learning more about the anatomical features of the reproductive system and sexually transmitted diseases and it’s commonality. 

Go through the lecture.  For each item, take general notes. What facts seem important to know?

Review the female and male reproductive anatomy so that you can label the parts

Sex: our biological/genetic assignment at birth (generally man or woman, with XY or XX chromosomes, although some people have biologic anomalies)

Sexual orientation: our psychological orientation/attraction towards potential sexual partners.

Gender identity: our psychological orientation to who we are and how we see ourselves (a sense of maleness, femaleness or other).

Bacterial STD/STIs: Can usually be cured with antibiotics. May still cause long-term damage if not caught/treated early. Examples: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis.  Another condition, Trichomoniasis is actually caused by a parasite, but is treated with antibiotics like bacterial conditions.

Viral STD/STIs:  Can be managed/treated with medication, but are NOT curable. May have periods of active disease or periods when they're dormant.  Examples: HPV, Herpes, Hepatitis, HIV, Genital warts.

Fertility/ Ovulation

Women's monthly cycles vary from 18-35 days, naturally.  The 28-day cycle myth was normalized as a standard when the birth control pill became widely available.

Women usually ovulate 14 days (+/- 2 days) before the first day of their period.  This is not necessarily on day 14 of their cycle unless they have a true 28-day cycle.  There are many ovulation trackers online and apps that can help women track, but they will only be accurate if a woman's cycle is consistent.  If a woman has a 14-21 day cycle, she can potentially get pregnant while she's having her period.

A woman's egg is only "good" to be fertilized for 12-24 hours after ovulation.  But, sperm can live 5-7 days after ejaculation in a woman's body.

The same body signs to help a woman recognize ovulation (and prevent pregnancy) can also be used to HELP a woman get pregnant.  Infertility is unfortunately more common than people realize.  After 6 months of trying with no success, you are encouraged to seek out an OB/GYN doctor.

Contraception

Contraception is our active plans to prevent pregnancy.  While there are hundreds of prescription drugs, devices, and approaches, contraception basically falls into three categories:

Hormone methods.  A woman is given a certain dosage of hormones (estrogen and progesterone derivatives) to regulate her monthly cycle and in some cases, prevent ovulation.  The hormones can be delivered to her body through pills, injections, or implantable devices.  Examples include: the birth control pill, Depo-Provera shots, Implanon, and some IUDs that release hormones.

Barrier methods.  These are physical barriers that prevent sperm and egg from getting together, and fertilization from occurring.  Examples include, condoms, Today Sponge,  Vaginal Contraceptive films, contraceptive foams/gels, and some IUDs that do not have added hormones.

Fertility Awareness.  This is a system of behavioral approaches which include tracking a woman's cycle and signs of ovulation, and avoiding sex during those weeks she is most fertile.  This can be effective if used perfectly, and a woman's cycle is predictable.  In reality, there's a substantial failure rate.  Some people also call this "Natural Family Planning" or the "Calendar Method".

What was the point of the videos? What are a few things I learned on the websites, and might the site be useful in the future? What questions do these resources bring up?  If you were telling someone else about this class, what would you share from this unit.

The supplemental videos and websites were excellent visual aids to use during the research portion of the unit. I would share the information regarding fertility and ovulation to my fellow female peers If I had to choose something from  this unit to present. 

I would present the following information about ovulation. These were great facts from a supplemental website included in the unit’s lecture.

Key Facts:

An egg lives 12-24 hours after leaving the ovary

Normally only one egg is released each time of ovulation

Ovulation can be affected by stress, illness or disruption of normal

Some women may experience some light blood or spotting during ovulation

Implantation of a fertilized egg normally takes place 6-12 days after ovulation

Each woman is born with millions of immature eggs that are awaiting ovulation to begin

A menstrual period can occur even if ovulation has not occurred

Ovulation can occur even if a menstrual period has not occurred

Some women experience pain/aching near ovaries during ovulation called ‘middle pain’

If an egg is not fertilized, it disintegrates and is absorbed into the uterine lining

As/after you engage in the Discussion: Can you summarize the question and the conclusions you and your classmates found? How do you feel about the issue now?

Discussion Question:

“Who should teach sex education to our youth?  What do you think would be best practices for sex education?  How do you balance a parent's choice with a social obligation for an informed public? A lot of current sex ed curriculum (even what's used in public schools) is developed by organizations with religious affiliations. Should that be a factor in choosing curriculum?  During President George W. Bush's term, many states adopted an "abstinence-only" approach (as opposed to "abstinence-preferred) meaning public organizations could not teach about contraceptives. How do you think that affected the teen pregnancy rates during that time?”

My discussion response:

I believe education professionals that specialize in the study and sex psychologists are individuals that meet the needs and requirements to teach sex education to the youth. By combining professional experiences and a formal education, I believe the trustworthiness within student instruction strengthens. It also helps place the students in a safe-social environment. The youth are very impressionable, so it’s good to provide models, appropriate media, and the opportunity to explore and learn about the subtopics that fall under sex education. It’s important that students are understanding a complete spectrum of knowledge regarding their bodies and sexuality, both ethical and medical. According to the article, What Are the Goals of Sex Education For Youth? from Planned Parenthood, the following are an extraordinary combination of teaching objectives to keep in mind when fulfilling a sex education curriculum: “[It should focus] on clear health goals -- the prevention of STDs, HIV and/or pregnancy, [focus] narrowly on specific behaviors leading to these health goals (e,g, abstaining from sex or using condoms or other contraceptives), [gives] clear messages about these behaviors, and addressed situations that might lead to them and how to avoid them, [and addresses] multiple sexual psychosocial risk and protective factors affecting sexual risk behaviors (e.g. knowledge, perceived risks, values, attitudes, perceived norms and self-efficacy).” (Goals of Sex Education for Teenagers: Youth Health Services). I think these objectives make for a great start to the beginning of the framework for an effective curriculum. It’s definitely going to be up to the educator to how they decide to teach and what methodologies they choose to practice. I personally have never had sex education growing up and was unfortunately left to fend for myself learning about the topic outside of the formal classroom. I would love to know what activities and lessons stood out to those of my peers that have had the course.

Citation:

Goals of Sex Education for Teenagers: Youth Health Services. (n.d.). Retrieved March 30, 2020, from https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/for-educators/what-are-goals-sex-education-youth

Regarding how I feel about the issue now, my stance has not changed. I still believe it’s important that students are understanding a complete spectrum of knowledge regarding their bodies and sexuality, both ethical and medical. Other students within the discussion thread had a similar perspective. There were few that had beliefs that did go against certain aspects of my perspective. 

After you complete the Homework: What did you learn? What do you want to know more about?

Assignment requires:

Think of three (3) questions you have about the topics covered this unit.  Maybe you have a question about a woman's fertility cycle.  Maybe a friend is pregnant and there's something you want to know.  Maybe it's a related topic we didn't really cover (erectile disfunction, etc.)  Here you really get to personalize your learning.

Find websites or resources to answer your questions. For each of your 3 questions:

Imagine a friend asked you to find a website/video to teach them about proper condom use (male, female or dental dam).  Find one resource, and provide the URL to the website or video (YouTube is fine).

Write your initial question.

Write a few sentences about how you found the answer (I searched for...;  I thought this was a reputable source because...; if someone else were researching this, they might want to...), include anything relevant.

What is the answer to your question?  Please cite your sources.

I learned “Hormones do influence a woman’s sexual behavior, particularly desire, to a certain extent, but these effects are complex and can vary from woman to woman… women’s hormones also change at certain life stages [which will in turn affect libido]…Medical conditions, such as diabetes and coronary artery disease, along with certain medications, can also affect a woman’s sexual desire” (Do hormones influence women's sexual behavior?). 

I also found reputable sources about condom placement and the following important information regarding problems in pregnancy,

Three other conditions may cause more problematic periods after pregnancy:

• Structural defects. Your doctor likely will treat defects such as polyps and submucosal fibroids with minimally invasive surgery.

• Adenomyosis. Your doctor can manage this thickening of the uterus with minimally invasive surgery or hormone therapy.

• Overactive or underactive thyroid disorder. Your doctor may use a range of treatments for these conditions.

After you complete the Project: How was the experience? Any take-aways?

Project requires:

1. Choose a program to track your eating. We recommend MyFitnessPal (Links to an external site.), though you may use any program that can track your foods, nutrition, and can print out/copy a log to turn in here.  You may need to create an account on these sites, but you do not need to PAY, the free tools on these sites are fine.

2. Record four (4) days of healthy eating and generate detailed reports, broken down by day.  Try your best to eat the healthiest possible on these 4 days, using the Dietary Guidelines for Americans as your standard.  The following reports are REQUIRED for each day:

Daily foods list and servings

Nutrient Intakes

Ideally, you'll find your Recommended Daily Allowances(RDA), too, but this is not required.

3.  Directions for submitting assignment: When you are finished printing, you need to write a paragraph about your experience with "eating healthy". Was it easier or harder than you expected?  Points you should address include calories, carbohydrates, proteins and fat intake, RDA values (optional).  Would this be sustainable for you to eat this way all the time?

I thought this tracker was a great tool in helping visualize my eating habits into a concise collection of charts. The specific tracker I used incorporated really nice colorful pie charts that showed how much carbs, protein, sugars, fats, etc. consumed in my tracked days.

General reflection on the unit--is there anything that feels important that you didn't mention above?  If you had free time, what topics might you want to look into further?

If given more time, I would look into more ways to incorporate healthy foods into my diet. Sometimes I would catch myself eating bad, but then try to balance out the action with something good. I realize this isn’t truly effective. Especially since I am not consistent with my fitness routine. 

[namea]

Pride questionaire

the following questions are meant to make people familiar with the various shades of love, attraction and identity, feel free to add your own. happy pride 🌈

what is your sexuality? Pansexual. Generally I just say bisexual since a lot of people don’t know or believe in pansexuality. 

what do gender do you identify as? Female

how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender? I’ve been aware I was bisexual since I was probably 6 or 7. I didn’t become aware of the term pansexual and the differences between them until my junior year of highschool so about 11 years ago. 

do you have any preferences? I highly prefer women physically. I find them much more attractive and sexually attractive. I have had more success in relationships with men however so if it’s something other than physical I tend to lean towards men. Female relationships have always been far too dramatic and mind-gamey to me. 

share a positive memory about coming out! I told my Dad when I was about 14 and he just said “Yeah? And?” I’m pretty sure he knew. My family was always really accepting of sexualities and we’ve always had gay, trans, etc people in our lives thanks to my mom’s diverse group of friends and my Dad’s sister who is a lesbian. My older sisters are also both bisexual so our family is pretty chill.

how do you feel about pride month? I think some people take it too far to the point of excluding others. However all in all I think it’s a wonderful thing and I am happy for a month to celebrate the accomplishments of the LGBTQ+ community, remember our struggles, and show support for everyone around the world who is a part of it both here and those we’ve lost.

do you participate in pride related events? any other events? I used to. I had a very bad experience at a pride parade here in Nashville once and since then I have not been comfortable with the lgbt community here. I have found it to be a very hostile and dangerous place that shows far more bigotry than even the most conservative straight people I know. 

how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media? I am very excited by the growing prominance they hold. I don’t believe in the “bury your gays” conspiracy theory. I am a bit miffed at the stereotypes shown and the lack of variation from them but all things in time. For now every bit of exposure and normalization of non-hetero relationships is a step forward. 

do you feel pride in who you are? Absolutely but not just for my sexuality. My sexuality is only a very small part of who I am. I’m more proud of the changes I’ve made to myself, how I’ve matured, how I’ve changed and become a better person. How I’ve become a good mother and a good friend, daughter, sister, and wife.

who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery? My Dad for one. He’s straight but he’s always been supportive of everything I do and who I am. Also Xena...XD My mom is a great source of inspiration as well. For as long as I can remember she taught us that love is love and kindness is not optional. 

tell us about your first crush? Xena. I had a crush on her before I ever had a crush on a boy. It wasn’t until my first boy crush that I realized I felt the same way about boys and girls. I didn’t really think anything of it or address it though. 

what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens? Love yourself. Even if your family doesn’t approve, even if your friends turn on you. Love yourself and know that you are loved. There are so many of us who have been through what you’re going through and even if we’ve never known you we love you and support you. We want you to grow up and join us and be accepted. Someday the world will see you as the shining light that you are. Please don’t give up. 

have you come out to friends and family? Yup. I’m completely open. It’s not like I tell everyone the moment I meet them but there’s no hiding it. If someone asks I tell them straight out. Anyone who doesn’t know by now is just ignoring it and lying to themselves if they actually care about me. 

how do you feel about the term “coming out” ? I think the term means different things to different people. I don’t really feel like I have the right to answer that because I didn’t so much as “come out” rather I kinda just “confirmed what my family already knew”. I had a very easy time of it. 

do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of? For some people I’m sure. 

any tips on coming out? Again, due to my relatively easy experience I can’t speak for the difficult ones. I can say that if your family has been supportive of lgbt issues in the past it’s best to be honest with them and yourself as soon as you can. 

what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media? The constant pervasive idea that any lesbian or bisexual woman will immediately turn her head for a man if he’s hot enough. Also the idea that every single gay man is obnoxiously effeminate. And lastly, probably the most angering to me: The gay bff trope. It causes straight girls to treat gay men like fetish objects. Accessories. They think they need a gay bff but what they really want is basically a piece of jewelry to spout sassy quotes and talk about boys with them. They don’t care about them as people and that bothers me so much. 

what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media? That they’re there! This is such a huge evolution from even when I was young. I remember how Xena and Gabrielle were in an obviously romantic relationship but they had to cover it up with subtext and make sure it was just shown as “best friends”.

what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? I went to a very open school in High School. When we learned sex ed there were portions on the LGBT community. Several of my teachers were openly out even. One of my most religious teachers who had a cross in her classroom even spoke happily about gay rights and was in full support of them. We had projects in which we had to “marry” a classmate and the teachers allowed gay marriage. We even had an LGBT club that ran events and had a ton of fun. 

do you practice safe sex with the same gender? ABSOLUTELY. Always. Pregnancy isn’t the only thread with sex. Even having sex with other women it is important to erm...clean your instruments...between uses and/or use condoms for them. 

what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender? My biggest turn off in men is arrogance. If a man comes off as being full of himself I don’t find it sexy, I find it annoying. My biggest turn off in a woman is immaturity. Not in a playful way but the kind of immaturity that leads to high school level head games and drama. I’m comin’ up on 30, anyone my age should be done with that crap. 

what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender? My biggest turn on with men is humour. I love goofy guys and I married the perfect one! My biggest turn on with women is also humour. I like a woman who isn’t afraid to be silly, even in public. Let’s dance in the grocery store or tell silly jokes in the restaurant. If we’re together we should be able to have fun without fearing judgement. 

how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites? Not for me. To be honest I’ve faced more hatred and cruelty from the LGBT community than I ever did from straight people. I was friends with a group for YEARS here in Nashville but the minute I stopped just sleeping with my husband and actually got together with him they turned on me as if dating a man suddenly made me “not bi enough”. I got insulted, bulliled, had drinks thrown on me, and was almost beaten up at a pride parade. It was humiliating and awful, all because I was with a man. Since then I’ve been wary of LGBT groups. If they can’t accept me even married to a man then they aren’t as open minded as they should be. 

how do you feel about the term “queer” ? I have no issues with it. 

how does you country view the lgbtq community? Totally mixed bag tbh. I live in the south but I’m in the most progressive part of TN so at least it’s not bad here. 

favorite lgbtq actor/actress? I adore Ellen Page, Zachary Quinto, and my very favourites are Sir Ian McKellan and George Takei

any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news? Just be supportive. You’re welcome at my table at least. I don’t exclude anyone who wants to be friendly and an ally. Be kind, don’t sling inappropriate jokes or slurs, and apologize if you’re corrected on something. 

what’s the most annoying question you have ever gotten? “So if you’re a man now you’re straight, right?” No. My sexuality doesn’t change just because I’m now with a man. Still like ladies, still look at them, just can’t touch. 

how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender? Happy to answer for myself any time. I can’t answer for others since there’s such a huge varied spectrum. 

[propshophannah]

Sorry if I sound kinda uneducated but I just saw the post about gynecologists and I wanted to ask what exactly happens when you go to one(like what exactly is a Pap smear, etc.) Also is there a specific age to go to one? Thank you so much. Just know that you have taught me more than any sex Ed program I have been shown.

Hi! And thanks! I’m glad I can help. 

So at the beginning of this post, I mention the right age in which to see an ob-gyn (13-15), and I also go into detail of what actually happens when you go.

Keep in mind that the post is my perspective, and because I have a family history of cancer, and I wanted to get on birth control, and I was sexually active. So I got (and get) the full exam when I went/when I go. If you are not sexually active, have no family history of cancer/issues with female reproductive organs then your visit will likely be different. (Also, all the websites I link/get info from are legit and reputable. I’m not getting info from sites that aren’t run by legitimate organizations that cannot be verified, or are not ethically allowed to speak about women’s reproductive health.)

“An obstetrician–gynecologist (ob-gyn) is a doctor who specializes in the health care of women. Girls should have their first gynecologic visit between the ages of 13 years and 15 years.” (acog.org)

So if you’re in that age range, or older and you haven’t yet gone, you need to go. They’re just going to make sure you’re healthy. Your first visit may just be talking with the doctor.

They may also give you a breast exam, or a pelvic exam (to make sure your ovaries and uterus are in the right spots/not lumpy/healthy etc. and maybe a pap smear.

They will also ask you about your relationships. They’ll want to know your sexual orientation and if you need information or help on safe sex. They will absolutely ask about your periods. They’ll want to make sure they’re normal, and if you can manage them, or if you need help managing them. If you have a heavy flow, or a too light flow, or if your periods are very painful, or of they’re inconsistent, or if you spot bleed in between cycles, or if you skip cycles—all of that they need to know and they can help you with.

They’ll ask about your mental health. They want to know if you’re depressed, or anxious, or if you’re being abused. They want to know how you feel about yourself—do you have a positive or negative self image? Do you struggle with being overweight, underweight, or maybe you have acne and it makes you embarrassed or it’s just annoying and everywhere.

ALL OF THOSE THINGS, the ob-gyn (sometimes it’s a nurse practitioner too btw) will help you with. Birth control can with things like acne and various period symptoms. The ob-gyn can also prescribe other medications to help you in other ways, and look at the ones you’re already on and say, “this medication can increase your chances of depression or anxiety,” or “this medication will make intercourse more painful,” and they will help you and give you instructions on next steps for how to get your medications to work for you better. They are there to help you.

SIDE NOTE: I’m starting to realize, that you should ask about your hymen skin. Ask your ob-gyn what shape it is. I’ve recently been on the hunt for actual, peer-reviewed medical studies of common and uncommon hymen shapes. And while there seems to be a lack of information on that topic (I’m not surprised no one wants to fund research on vaginas. #UghThePatriarchy), I’ve also been reading through a lot of forums where women think they have “an extra flap of skin” in their vaginas. And many of them say that their ob-gyn has never mentioned it.

These women don’t realize that they likely have a septate hymen. It’s where there is a piece of skin running across the vaginal opening. That kind of hymen might be to common to ob-gyns, that they don’t think to mention it. So I think you should ask about your hymen skin. Because if you have one that is thicker or that is shaped in such a way that it is painful (some people can’t finger themselves or use tampons) or could become painful—you have options for how to stretch it out, or you can get a hymenectomy (see this post for more info on hymenectomy).

And also, if you can prevent painful intercourse, why would you not? I’m realizing, some hymen skin is a LOT thicker than others. We’re taught that it usually kinda stretches out on its own or even breaks and goes away by the teenage years. And we’re also taught that what’s left can make sex hurt. But I’m finding that if it’s thicker, or shaped in a way that makes it more covering that it will break painfully and can heal back. I think we should all be aware of the options we have to prevent painful sex and/or to improve our quality of life with our vagina.

The following is cut and paste verbatim from the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (acog.org):

What should I expect at the first gynecologic visit?

The first visit may be just a talk between you and your doctor. You can find out what to expect at future visits and get information about how to stay healthy. You also may have certain exams.

Your doctor may ask a lot of questions about you and your family. Some of them may seem personal, such as questions about your menstrual period or sexual activities (including vaginal, oral, or anal sex). If you are concerned about confidentiality, you and your doctor should talk about it before you answer any questions. Much of the information you share can be kept confidential.

What exams are performed?

You may have certain exams at the first visit. If you choose, a nurse or family member may join you for any part of the exam. Most often, these exams are performed:

General physical exam

External genital exam

You usually do not need to have a pelvic exam at the first visit unless you are having problems, such as abnormal bleeding or pain. If you are sexually active, you may have tests for certain sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Most of the tests that teens need can be done by the doctor with a urine sample. You also may have certain vaccinations.

What happens during a general physical exam?

During the general exam, your height, weight, and blood pressure will be checked. You also will be examined for any health problems you may have.

What happens during an external genital exam?

In this exam, the doctor looks at the vulva. He or she may give you a mirror so that you can look at the vulva as well. This exam is a good way to learn about your body and the names for each part.

What are the pelvic exam and Pap test?

Even though you probably will not have a pelvic exam, you should know what one is. Another test that you will have later (at age 21 years) is a Pap test. This test checks for abnormal changes in the cervix that could lead to cancer.

The pelvic exam has three parts:

1. Looking at the vulva

2. Looking at the vagina and cervix with a speculum

3. Checking the internal organs with a gloved hand

(Click here to see the picture the ACOG provides with this info!)

The doctor will use a speculum to look at your vagina and cervix. When you have a Pap test, a sample of cells is taken from your cervix with a small brush.

To check your internal organs, the doctor will place one or two gloved, lubricated fingers into the vagina and up to the cervix. The other hand will press on the abdomen from the outside.

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And that’s all I got! I hope this helps! Let me know. And check out the ACOG website or sexetc.org. They’re great resources.