#but most likely no one will read this anyways haha so i have no obligation to continue it 😌

[c0zyrainfall]

I don't have an ao3, so I guess I'll post this here 😂 Enjoy? I've never written fanfic before but this idea had to get out of my mind ~

"Bossman, are you okay? You've been rather... spacey recently."

Damian halts mid step, causing Emile and Ewan to swivel back to him with confusion.

"What? I have not! I was just... thinking about the history assignment." His friends nod, appeased.

Can't even think in peace these days, apparently. Damian quickens his pace. He is NOT going to be late again. Now that he has had a taste of detention, he would not like a repeat thank you very much. Detention is for TROUBLEMAKERS, like the Forger girl. No, he would not repeat his tardiness. Never again. (He's thirty minutes early).

The history lesson drags on. The duke was assassinated. Yep. Old news. Damian already knows this entire lesson because he read ahead in the textbook. Can't be too prepared, right?

Apparently you can. This class is a total snoozefest. He wishes he could just faceplant onto his desk and sleep, like Anya is currently doing. But that would ruin his perfect student reputation. Instead, he props his elbow on his desk and rests his chin in his palm. Speaking of Anya.

Damian needs to figure out exactly what her deal is. She's so confusing. He was NOT happy when she hugged him yesterday. He was NOT happy when she wanted him to stay with her. He was NOT happy when she said she wanted to be his friend. He was not.

Even if he wanted to be happy about it, he couldn't be. Because even though he went through all the effort to give her the cakes in person instead of putting them in her locker, she still thought he was a creep.

After they had served their time in detention, Henderson bailed them out and allowed them to eat the teacakes. Then she beamed at him and said they could be good friends. He was confused, because didn't she JUST want to fight him two minutes ago? Then, a fleeting, unwanted thought had crossed his mind-

-and Anya looked at him like he'd just burnt her peanut butter toast. What the heck?! He hadn't even said anything!

...He hadn't even said anything.

Hold. The phone.

[schoolmysteryno69]

META ANALYSIS - Mitsukou (part 1)

General topic - how they’re written as a one of the romantic couples in the story

Before I start, I need to say few things:

1. I’m not native english speaker. I’m probably going to make a lot of errors and mistakes, mix times, have a lacking vocabulary etc. Please be ready for it. I want to write my meta post anyway, so I would be happy if you will stay to the end with me!

2. If you do not like Mitsukou/hate this ship or anything like that - maybe this post it's not for you. It's totally okay to ship different thing and like different things, I don’t mind. My post is not a starter for a discussion tho, I’m not interested in discourses, argues and hate. I don’t really plan to “prove” anything to anyone or force you to change your mind, whole post is only MY analysis and my point of view. You are not obligated to feel the same way I feel, to see things the same way I see them. 

3. I’m not interested in proving if Mitsukou is going to ever be canon or anything. I don’t know that. I’m also not going to analyze if they’re ever going to be a CANON COUPLE or an ENDGAME COUPLE. It’s only about if they’re written as a romantic relationship, and being written as a romantic couple =/= being a canon couple, they’re a lot of pairs in media that definitely are written as a romantic relationship without them being together ever or being an endgame. I’m not going to speculate about endgame, especially when one of the characters is supernatural and one is a human. 

Okay, I think we can start now!

Let's start from the beginning. Because my first language is not english my post may be a little bit chaotic, putting all my thoughts in at least some order and with at least some sense it's actually hard, haha. In part 1 I will try to cover the first meeting between Kou and the ghost of Mitsuba.

So!

They first met during chapter 18. And it was meeting between Kou and ghost of a Mitsuba Sousuke, so it wasn’t our currently Mitsuba - it worth to mention they're not the same person, even if they are extremely similar, share a lot elements of their personalities, they look nearly the same, and current Mitsuba even share some dead Sousuke's memories because of School Mystery No. 4 Shijima Mei and her Picture Perfect arc. Still - not the same person and Mitsuba Kou met in chapter 18 is not the current Mitsuba. 

At the beginning they're not really that much written as a romantic, their short arc was more like something starting Kou’s personal arc and his development. He got some background, some motivation, some angst, he changed. For most part Kou behaved pretty normal, just like himself - a selfless, lively boy that really wanted to help a lonely, sad ghost that Mitsuba was. (he wasn’t traumatized yet). Even if some of their interaction could be readed with a shippy glasses, there wasn’t anything that was inherently romantic about them. 

I think it's kind of ironic how this is literally their first panel in the manga. Mitsuba literally looks like some kind of eldritch horror and he says “Did you forget about me?”. Yeah Kou, did you? This quite sums some elements of their arc. We know that Kou actually did forget about Mitsuba, who was one of his classmates. Also, Kous' trauma, related to everything that happened to Mitsuba, hunts him for the rest of the story. He also, clearly has a problem with recognition of both Mitsubas, with dealing with Ghost Mitsuba death and with the idea of forgetting someone and leaving someone. We also know that, when current!Mitsuba was made by Tsukasa, he didn’t remember Kou. That's why this quote here is very ironic. 

There is nothing really to analyze here but I find it funny. Yeah, you quite literally just haunted the wrong guy and it’s going to be a problem for you and said guy for the next 15 volumes of the manga. Good luck. 

Even after calling Mitsuba an “evil spirit” Kou still tries to help him and even decides to “take the big tough guy approach” to make Mitsuba feel safer about him. Kou is not really “the big tough guy”, even if he tries to pose as one. He is a 14 yo kid with kind of fucked up situation in life, even, if he doesn’t recognize it yet. 

Maybe you could learn something from Kous stupid earning, mr. boy who DIED in the car accident.

It's definitely not an accident that Mitsuba died hit by a car and Kou has a BIG earning with a big caption “TRAFFIC SAFETY”. Even after reading all chapters up to 103 I’m not really sure how I should interpret this exact symbolism in their relationship, but it's definitely done on purpose by the authors. I think it may symbolize that Kou, with a “traffic safety” earning will save Mitsuba, who previously died in a traffic accident from dying another time? Like, now Mitsuba have Kou by his side and maybe Kou will manage to keep him safe. His earning is mentioned by Mitsuba too many times, it's done so we can notice it, for sure. And I wonder how it turns out. 

It’s the first time Mitsuba suggests that Kou either has some kind of feelings toward him, tries to do something dirty towards him or something similar. Every time he just jokes or tries to provoke Kou or something like that. At first I thought it's just how Mitsuba is, some people love to joke like that, but then I noticed, later in the story, that Kou is quite literally the only person Mitsuba ever does this to. Sure he does not have many friends “his age” but still during the manga it would be possible for him to behave like that toward other characters, but he does not. He jokes like that only toward Kou and I think during the next parts of my writing I will point it out more.

Even after 20 minutes of insulting he is still concerned about Mitsuba. That's so funny and sweet. 

Yeeeaaah sure it totally does not relate in any way to the fact that ghost Motsuba got to die after taking a photo of KOU out of everything yeeeeaaaah nada nope. It's crazy how the authors planned this because Hanako really started as some kind of funny manga about kids and ghosts and supernatural things, but the angst we get later is actually top notch and kinda scary. There was few moments I really had to like, stand up and walk in my room because of the emotions I felt after reading.

Look how happy he is with the idea of being a model to the Mitsubas photos. He is bright, smiling and even blushing. The next ironic thing is how he cried after actually seeing a picture of himself made by Mitsuba. Also I like how prominent his earning is here.

Mitsuba is very particular, he really made pictures only of animals, plants and other non-human things. That's probably why his photo of Kou hit me like a train. That's literally narratively confirming that Mitsuba saw Kou as something (someone) he likes, someone that is important to him. Kou also realized it after seeing the picture, that was one of the reasons why he was so devastated.

There are few things about that whole scene I would like to point up. The first are doves. Mitsuba, especially Ghost Mitsuba, is often presented with doves as a form of his symbolism. Doves and cherry blossoms are probably the most prominent symbols of his character. I’m not really that good when it comes to symbols, but I think doves symbolize things like peace, but also some form of innocence/purity and love. Some sources also say about transformation and spirituality. I think one of the reasons for choosing doves is to symbolize how he didn’t deserve to die like that, that his soul is actually good and seeks for peace. In Kou’s eyes he is also someone innocent, definitely. Especially when we are talking about ghost Mitsuba at the beginning of a story. 

ALSO I’m pretty sure birds are foreshadowing to current!Mitsuba being made from the school mystery no. 3 who looked like a bird and who current!Mitsuba gained a lot of his characteristics from. Current!Mitsuba hair looks like feathers, his hand looks like talons etc. He is heavily associated with birds from the beginning. Even if Ghost!Mitsuba is associated with doves more and current!Mitsuba with ravens or crows. 

The next thing about this scene is Kou finally realizing he knew Mitsuba and it hit him. Understanding that Mitsuba actually KNEW Kou and it was Kou who didn’t remember him probably made him feel remorse and generally really bad about himself. That’s not a nice thing if you forget about a boy who was with you in a class, and the fact that ghost Mitsuba actually tried to talk to him and asked him “Did you forget about me”... It's hard for me to even imagine what Kou felt at that moment. 

Also, Mitsuba surely didn’t know about Kou being from an exorcist family, so he wouldn't expect that Kou will take direct action after meeting a ghost lol. If it comes to Mitsuba, I’m pretty sure it was very scary.

I wish we could see more of them like that. Just like two boys having fun with each other. I love angst, trust me. But I think they deserve rest and to just have a chance to play and talk a be… normal for once. Everytime when they get a chance to have fun they’re cute and hilarious together. 

Rain can symbolize sadness and hard emotions soooo yeah, I’m not surprised it started raining. I think it sort of symbolizes feelings of both Kou and Mitsuba here.

They’re going to the third floor and I’m sure it's foreshadowing to Mitsuba becoming a School Mystery no. 3. 

I’m still impressed how much foreshadowing is during their first meeting (chap 18-20). Like the birds, nr 3, traffic safety earning, motif of remembering/forgetting etc. You could also think that photography would be something like that but… it's not. Photography becomes a thing that is helping recognizing human/ghost Mitsuba from current supernatural Mitsuba. They’re similar but not the same person. Photos were one of the main characteristics of the original Mitsuba, both in this arc and during a moment with Mitsubas mother later. It was always about photos, but it's never about photos when it comes to our current Mitsuba.

Yeah, that kind of explains why Kou didn’t remember him immediately, even after seeing how Mitsuba looks and hearing his surname he should know. Because, like, Kou should remember him, they were in the same class, sit close to each other etc. But the mask that Mitsuba created was so strong that made him nearly imperceptible (like, you know, a ghost hah) and at this point tbh I don’t think Mitsuba liked it very much. He is actually a pretty bold and cocky person and all of this probably bugged him. Of course he wasn’t bullied, but was it worth becoming somebody different, somebody boring and bland to others? I think there is some form of regret. But also I don’t think that ALL of this was a mask, because Mitsuba definitely has some of a calmer and more sweet side to himself, he showed it a lot of times.

He tries to fix it up by recognizing him now for who he is. With both his positive and negative aspects, even if he points out mostly his flaws. Still, this is the Mitsuba he met, the Mitsuba he knows and the Mitsuba he IS GOING TO remember. Mitsuba he befriended now. It actually means a lot for Sousuke. He is dead, he may have thought that it's the end for him and for all of his relationships he ever had. Its funny how Mitsuba said he is a ghost because he still wanted to do photos, but the truth is he wanted relationships, but the true ones. Not based on his “fake” nice self, but on real him with all his flaws and that's why he haunted other students rather than just… go do photos or something. He tried to connect to others, because he subconsciously thought relationships and friends he had when he lived weren’t really true and real. It’s ironic how it resembles the current!Mitsuba in Picture Perfect act. 

Kou started to realize who Mitsuba was and how tragic his situation was, he started to empathize. Kou has a martyr complex, so he wanted to help Mitsuba any way he could. It was also shown that he does LIKE Mitsuba even with his twisted personality, Kou said it himself and it surely means a lot for Mitsuba who wasn’t liked before for his true personality. That was probably the moment Mitsuba felt a real bond towards Kou and become attached to him. 

And Kou even blushed a few times.That would still be read as platonic and sweet tho!. I think it was, personally. The most important thing during their first meeting was, of course, how it ended, because, in my opinion, it was a moment when most (not all tho) Kou's mental problems started. There was still his family, of course. Teru loves Kou very much, but still his mentality and behavior was a root for Kou’s low self esteem and some other elements of his personality, tho I think it may be a topic for a whole different post.

In this small arc, in my opinion, the moment that was the beginning of me perceiving them as written as one of the couples, a romantic relationship was this exact moment:

“I don’t know… maybe something important to me?” 

And also a moment when Kous saw this picture for the first time, when he developed photos, and how this cracked him.

Generally, becoming friends with Mitsuba was very important to Kou. Not only because he wanted to help him (and, internally, also making Kou feel better about himself) but also it was probably the first time when… Kou may feel somewhat special? He always was in the shadow of Teru, he wasn’t an “official” exorcist, he wasn't going to missions in the town, he wasn’t very strong (Hanako literally KO’ed him without a sweat and Kou couldn't do much to Hanako), the girl he got a small crush on (Nene) clearly had something with Hanako… Kou was always pushed back and now, with Mitsuba, he made an actually special relationship between the only two of them. He felt NEEDED, and we all know how much Kou desperately needs to feel NEEDED. In his own mind, he was the only one that could help Mitsuba and that understood Mitsuba, that's why Mitsubas ghost death was so hard for him. He finally got something special for himself and he couldn't even protect it and he let lonely, poor ghost tragically vanish. That's some trauma for you.

I’m not going to write much about Mitsubas feelings there because it was Sousuke Mitsubas feelings - and currently I’m going to focus more on a School Mystery Mitsuba. Tho Sousuke definitely perceived Kou and his help as something special to him. That's where their fated bond started. 

“You can help me develop them tomorrow and then… I think I’ll be okay”.

Yet we can’t see his eyes when he speaks, and that suggests he thinks something different that what he speaks. Not showing eyes is a common motif to show that a character is lying or saying something he does not think or hiding something. Here is just like that - it’s not about photos, it's about KOU. It’s because of Kou he is going to be okay, not because of the photos he took today. Something changed for Mitsuba when Kou recognized him for someone he actually is and wanted to become friends with him. For Mitsuba it means a lot because when he was alive he couldn’t get true friends and real relationships with others. 

Yeah walk walk trauma baby. I know I mention  ‘trauma” a lot when it comes to Kou, but the whole manga is like a one big parade of traumas for this boy and it's not even funny. I’m not surprised he is starting to become more and more insane with every next arc. Especially in the Night Out small arc we can clearly see how detached from actual reality Kou starts to be and how he stops recognizing differencs between supernatural and real word, good and evil, selfless and selfish behavior etc. It’s all the result of the traumatic situations he was put in for like 16 volumes straight. And he is bearing it A LOT WORSE than Nene is.

Ouch. 

“You wished for people remembering you but now youre happy with just a one person?” That hits hard but also I’m angry at Tsukasa, like leave that boy alone.Even one person can make a change in someones life, and thats what Mitsuba felt at a moment. For Kou he was someone, he was real, he had a personality, Kou recognized him and that gives him a true sense of identity. For him it was enough

You met like half of a day before and you are calling him your friend and fighting for him with an unknown dangerous supernatural who looks exactly like your other friend. Bruh that's some dedication. Kou is desperate to save Mitsuba, but Kou is generally desperate to be a savior. He tries to “save” Nene a lot of times even if it’s not really necessary, because Nene also has other friends and people who support her and is pretty clever and capable of bearing problems on her own (most of the time). Yet Kou still treats Nene like some damsel in distress that need his protection when it's CLEARLY not like that. Sadly, Kou mostly fails anyway. He fails now with Mitsuba and if it comes to Nene, if she needs saving, the person who (usually) saves her is Hanako. Kou rarely has something he can actually do and it's cracking him up mentally.

Yeah, “I’m supernatural who grants wishes” not “I’m a ghost of a boy who once lived in this town”. Yeah. It was right here from the beginning.

I just hope it’s not a form of foreshadowing.

His last words were “Minamoto-kun”, it's so sad. On this last panel he actually looked a little brighter than on the previous panel of his transformation, and that's because he looked at Kou. 

I need to say, seeing a person you treat important to you and calling a friend dying in a horrible way and hearing their last words being your name must be pretty stressful. It would probably haunt me for a long time and I’m sure Kou is still affected by it.

On the 20 chapter cover Mitsuba is together with the rest of the main squad (Nene, Hanako, Kou). It was pretty weird back then - he literally died and looks like he was going to be a one-arc character that started Kous character development, but this cover was a hint that it's going to be different and Mitsuba, probably, is going to play a whole different role in the story. He, also, had a hand around Kous head and nearly touched his hair gently - its a symbol of intimacy. 

That was a proof how strong, narratively, their relationship is and is going to be during the progression of a story. And, in my opinion, a foreshadowing to Mitsubas feelings. Because I think currently, our Mitsuba is aware of his feelings toward Kou, but I’m going to cover this topic a little bit later. 

On this cover there is a lot more symbolism,especially with Hanako and his role in the story, but it's also a thing for a whole different post. 

What Tsukasa said was that Mitsubas wish was ‘“ want to stay with my friends forever and ever”.

That’s literally what I said earlier. 

It’s a recurring topic with current!Mitsuba and his relationship with Kou.  Mitsuba feels lonely and… Kou also feels lonely. Even if he has a brother, father and friends (Nene and Hanako and other school friends) Kou is incredibly lonely because of his inferiority complex. He desperately needed to be needed, needed to be special to someone, needed to be important to someone, and that person was Mitsuba. Right now, he is the most important person to Mitsuba and that's both good and very bad for Kou. Good because he finally feels like someone important and someones one and only, but bad because of how traumatic his relationship with Mitsuba is to him and how unhealthy it is. And by it I don’t mean  they’re toxic or bad people - they are kids who want to be loved and who want to have their place in the world. But Mitsuba is a monster, he is a supernatural, whos life is stained away by his instinct, who needs to eat other monsters and who does not really… have any actual bright future and Kou is traumatized boy with low self estem, problems with his selfworth, with martyr complex and some sort of suicidal tendencies. They have a lot to work out.

Kou is going to be a supernatural / is going to try to be a supernatural / is going to be forced to be supernatural - hint number one. 

Yes, I will go back to this topic, because I’m literally scared of it so much. It's prominent during the whole story that Kou is foreshadowed to have a plotline related to becoming supernatural in some way. And when this topic is touched it's usually related to his plotline with Mitsuba. I’m kind of scared of HOW it’s going to happen or if it’s going to be only a try or Kou really will become supernatural in some way. But it's too much of a recurring topic of Kous WHOLE character arc to not being important and to not happen. It's even hard to call it foreshadowing, its literal hints everywhere. 

Kou spent with Mitsuba literally… one day, outside of being in the same class for a while (Kou didn’t even remember this time THAT much, time they spend together this day was more important) and yet he CLINGED SO HARD to the idea that Mitsuba is his “friend”. He desperately needed to be wanted, needed, to have a special bond, to being able to help, to save someone. And yet he lost Mitsuba at this moment, he couldn't do shit to save him, he was absolutely… just useless during a fight. It affected him a lot. 

During the scene when Hanako “kills” Mitsuba, there are sakura petals. They’re heavily associate with Mitsuba and are one of his symbols:

This scene, narratively was a scene that said to us he is GONE. For good. It was a “goodbye” for him and Kou, he is dead. That's all. At this point we couldn't know we are going to meet current!Mitsuba, so we could thing that is the end of Mitsuba and the beginning of a Kous arc. And… it was both of these things but in the whole DIFFERENT meaning. Of course it was goodbye to the Sousuke, he is dead, he can’t come back. Of course it was a beginning for Kous development. But… it was also a beginning for our current!Mitsuba, for slowly progressing Kous insanity as an effect of his trauma and the beginning for Mitsuba and Kous actual arc and relationship. We thought it was the end but it was actually the beginning that changed… the whole Kou, to be honest.

I think it's related not only to Mitsuba but to Hanako, too. Imagine what Hanako could feel at that moment. He is a ghost and a supernatural who know how doomed he is and he only protects school and Nene. But Kou said it's bullshit and clearly believes in what he says. Sadly, Hanako is so stubborn.

One of the symbols related to Kou is a lion. Lions may symbolize a lot of things, like strength, courage but also - protection. Just like Kou tries to protect everyone and tries to be strong and courageous for others. I actually think it suits him quite well. Lions also symbolize the sun and it was shown a few times that Kou is like a sun to Mitsuba.

At some point of a story he is definitely going to do some crazy shit I’m telling you. He really tries to believe that he can find a way to change how the world works and it can end up good but.. it can also end up INCREDIBLY BAD. It’s not that good to mess up with life and death and when you cross up a border there is no coming back. With every arc the manga is becoming a little bit more dark and serious with topic it shows and och boy I’m kind of scared for Kou and Mitsuba.

You can literally hear me crying. It was probably the first moment in the manga that actually had any impact on me, I was really like… I had to stand and walk for a bit before reading. Kou sees a photo of himself and remembers Sousuke saying “Who knows? Maybe something important to me?” and starting crying was like. I wanted to cry too. I can’t even imagine what Kou felt at this moment, it was probably absolutely heartbreaking. 

This small arc finished with chapter 20.During the next arc, Kou, already  affected by Mitsubas death, gets to know that Nene also has a shortened lifespan and it's going to die very shortly. That wasn’t too good for his mental state and he literally fixated on a goal in saving her. When Kou learned about Nene’s situation, Hanako even related it to Mitsubas situation, so we can clearly understand these two examples are related to Kou. He doesn’t want this situation to happen again.

“Just like with this boy, there is nothing you can do” - Hanako you little shit

But yeah. Again Kou understands how useless he is. How weak he is, how he can’t save anyone the way he is. How he could do nothing about Mitsubas situation and how he can’t do nothing about Nene’s situation. That's tragic. And it's clear Kou doesn’t know what to do about it. Thats why, when current!Mitsuba appeared, he started to find such a ridiculous (and unhealthy) solutions to Mitsubas (and Kous) problems. He don't know what to do but desperately needs to do… something. Anything. To help, to be important. 

It's sad. He said he dont know what he is gonna do, but HE WILL DO SOMETHING. And yet… we know how it all goes for him. He is a brave kid, who is determined and wants others to be happy and alive. 

He even tried to stop a kiss between Hanako and Nene after reading Nenes book and failed. He always fails.

There is also an special page

It is titled “Love stories” that should be about Mitsuba. And it contains both Mitsuba and Kou. It's just a joke, but I need to point out that Mitsuba generally wasn’t shown to be interested in any girl during the progression of the story or never talked about it in general. He also does not crush on Nene, even when both Hanako and Kou felt something toward her at some point in the story.He also talks about how cute he is A LOT and I’m going to say something about it someday, but not now.

I think it's enough for part 1! I think I covered everything I wanted for their first meeting. Let's see at Mitsubas resurrection in the Hell of Mirrors!

[heartbeatbookclub]

About the partners headcanons ask, i meant the latter! sorry if it wasn’t obvious haha

shit this has been sitting in my askbox a while--

I have been thinking about this a good while, but I did also...kinda forget about it for a little lmao...part of the time spent thinking was of how exactly I wanted to format it. I considered doing more of a bullet points sort of thing, but I think in general it's just easier to do this the way I typically explain things on this blog.

Rather than doing specific explanations of the potential relationships between each computation of the girls together, I'm going to speak broadly over each of them and talk about it in a more Poly Dokis sense, since that's typically how I do it anyway. With that intro out of the way, here's my vision in no particular order:

Sayori in general is a very lovey sort of person, regardless of if you're just close friends, or in an actual relationship. As a result, not a great deal actually changes in that respect. She is an absolute cuddlebug and physical touch is definitely her top love language to give, to most people's enjoyment, and some people's slight annoyance (Natsuki). I imagine she works down everyone's personal bubble until it feels weirder to not have a Sayori nuzzling somewhere on their body. She likes playing with everyone's hair. They also like playing with hers; it's a win-win. She's also a big fan of spending time with the others, whatever it is. Anything is fun as long as they're together.

On terms of receiving, Sayori very much likes words of affection, though she doesn't always believe them. She needs a lot of reassurance and reciprocation to be sure that she's doing enough in the relationship, and has a constant worry that she's being overbearing, or that her own failures and stupidity makes her a burden to others around her. Regardless of who she's with, all 3 of them try their best to make it clear that she's doing perfectly fine, and they still love her, obviously.

Sayori relies very heavily on Monika emotionally. I think that's a universal truth of their relationship no matter how it's spun. She does her best to be honest with the other 2, hard as that might be sometimes, but Monika is the only one she feels she can truly be herself around, and Monika is more than happy to oblige. In return, Sayori tries her hardest to help her as well.

She genuinely likes listening to Yuri talk about whatever she's passionate about. It makes her happy to hear Yuri so passionate about something, and she's always glad to encourage her to come out of her shell more. She lets Yuri go at her own pace on terms of how they take their relationship and in general gives her a lot of patience, but as long as Yuri doesn't mind, she will take every opportunity she can get to cuddle up to her. Once she gets past her initial embarrassment, Yuri really appreciates her wordless style of affection and makes an effort to reciprocate. Occasionally, she uses Sayori like a weighted blanket.

Sayori understands that Natsuki needs more space, but is quite persistent in her efforts to break her out of her shell, too. Natsuki is initially pretty put off by Sayori's style of affection (go figure) but doesn't exactly dislike it, it's more like...not what she's used to. She initially rebuffs her, but doesn't exactly fight it very hard. She's also glad to have someone to genuinely talk about manga with, though she gets the sense that Sayori isn't exactly reading into it as much as she is...

Monika has never been in a real relationship in her life, and it shows! She treads very lightly, feeling completely out of her depth, uncertain of what's correct or expected, as though that's a normal question to have in a relationship. She's fairly naive and stumbling her way through it to start. Once she finds her footing though, she's happy to be able to provide love to the people closest to her. Maybe too happy. She tries exceptionally hard to be a good girlfriend, with little attention given to herself. This is something the other 3 try very hard to make up for.

Her primary love language has gotta be words of affection. She loves using pet names and giving lots of compliments. Once she gets over the initial embarrassment of saying "I love you", it becomes her most used phrase, and no matter how many times they hear it, it absolutely melts the others every time. She's also a huge acts of service girlie. She loves being able to buy them lunch, or give them a ride, or help them with homework, or something. She's absolutely the type of person to buy you a lunch when she hears you don't have money for one, and won't hear anything about you paying her back.

She is incredibly bad at receiving affection. She'll minimize your compliment, she'll make sure she gives you something in return for any act of service, and she doesn't want to waste your time if you have somewhere else to be. The other 3 work incredibly hard to just get her to accept that they love her, too, which forces her to introspect on the matter. The one thing she doesn't suck at receiving is physical affection, and consequently it becomes her favorite, particularly from Sayori.

Oh yeah, this is somewhat offhand, but she's a terrible kisser, at least to start. Just thought I'd throw that in too

I think the biggest thing I'd like to establish in what the other 3 see in her is that she makes you feel absolutely safe and welcome in her presence. Whenever you talk to her, suddenly all of your problems and everything stressing you out are miles away, and everything is going to be okay. And she is very happy to provide that for other people; hearing that always makes her heart happy.

She tries her absolute hardest to make sure Sayori gets everything she needs in the validation department. Monika and Sayori reflect each other a lot, to the point that they both generally know what the other is thinking even when they don't voice this. Whenever Sayori is refusing to say something because she doesn't want to create friction, but it needs to be said, Monika will say it for her. Monika voices her needs when she doesn't want to, and she trusts Sayori to do it in return.

She vents to Yuri often whenever she just needs someone to listen, and Yuri likes to rub her back to ease her stress. She does her best to listen to what Yuri has to say in return, as well as humor her talking about her interests, but has a hard time saying she shares the same passion she does for them.

Monika is the one who most enjoys flustering Natsuki, and is also typically the most successful. Natsuki, of course, really enjoys turning the tables and flustering her in return. Natsuki in particular finds it funny that Monika has turned to manga as something of a guilty pleasure.

This is something else tangentially related, but I just realized that because I only advanced my DDLC shipping thoughts in a discord server, I never posted this here, so I think an essential part here is that I think all of the other girls have a huuuuge crush on Monika. Like head over heels, for various reasons. Sayori is obvious but the others find it hard to deny, she's like, the perfect woman. Monika has no concept of anyone having a crush on her prior to them admitting this, and is completely shocked.

Yuri has a somewhat warped view of what romance looks like, given to her by media she consumes. Very pure and romantic and dripping with prose. The thought in the back of her head is constantly "I could never do that...I guess I'll be single forever..." and when she actually ends up in a relationship it ends up throwing her entire worldview out of whack in that respect. In general, the others all spend a lot of time reassuring her that they all love her for her, particularly when she's herself, unabashedly weird. Eventually, with enough persistence and some soul searching, she starts to believe it, and comes further out of her shell.

She really likes feeling important to people. She's a great listener, and her favorite thing to do is to just let other people vent about their problems to her. Her primary means of affection is quality time, with some physical affection once Sayori REALLY breaks down her sense of personal space. She'll sidle up to the others like a cat. Sayori finds this absolutely adorable. She mostly just enjoys spending time silently around other people. The others invite her places and just let her vibe. She loves it. I've mentioned it before, but she also really enjoys sending people songs and things that made her think of them. She also likes buying things that made her think of them as a gift. She's very muted in her expression of love, but she spends a lot of her time away from the others thinking of them.

I also think that Yuri kinda sucks at receiving affection, though in a different way than Monika. Monika will instinctively reject it; Yuri has no clue how to respond. It flusters her, every time, without fail, until eventually she gets used to it and her response seems somewhat flat. Although for particularly sweet gestures, she is unable to contain her excitement.

Oh, also she's probably the best kisser out of the bunch, though she is frequently too embarrassed to do much more than a peck on the cheek to start.

Sayori is her go-to whenever she wants to infodump about something she's been really into lately, because she actively listens and tries to engage her, mostly because she really enjoys it whenever Yuri is excited about something. Despite her initial hesitancy, she actually really appreciates the kind of casual physical affection which Sayori employs, because she really likes and wants physical affection, but doesn't know how to ask without feeling awkward.

She likes it when Monika vents to her. She always feels incredibly at ease around Monika, which is difficult for her to find anywhere else, much less with another person, and she really wants to give back in return what Monika gives to her. She feels comfortable enough to freely talk with Monika based on this fact, partially because she knows Monika feels the same to her. It makes her feel wanted, and she likes that.

She really tries her hardest to help when Natsuki has problems, listening to her vent about her dad, or other people, or the world, or anything else that's giving her trouble at the moment. Yuri does her best to help steer her more towards the kind of person she wants to be, and to reassure her that she isn't a terrible person.

Natsuki is averse to being in a relationship on the risk that she turns out like her parents. The only reason she's here is because the others assured her they would help her not to be. Despite her hesitancy, and her pushing back on a lot of what's given to her, she does enjoy it. (She just doesn't think she deserves it.) In general, she's just very awkward at navigating anything and everything related to it, and is very easily embarrassed by the whole thing. It takes time to get her comfortable with it.

She's very acts of service heavy. She likes making things for other people, and spends a lot of time and effort doing so. She derives a lot of joy out of directly providing for people, and particularly in the beginning, she's still convinced that's all she can provide, but she does grow better at avoiding that sort of thinking with time. She also likes spending quality time with people, probably baking, maybe chatting about/reading manga.

She is absolutely head over heels for Monika, despite finding that realization...kind of annoying. She thinks she is literally the most beautiful, perfect girl she has ever met, and despite her best efforts to ignore that powerful urge to heap praise onto her, she can't help but make an effort to impress her, which is frequently successful!...which only goads her on to do it more. She tries to get Monika to read some of the series she's more seriously invested in, because she knows Monika will get a deeper understanding of the themes and subtext.

She's envious of how easily Sayori can make friends with anyone, and finds her to be so sweet it's hard to handle. She is absolutely terrified of ever doing anything to hurt her because she knows that whatever it was, Sayori would never let go. Sayori takes great lengths to remind her that she would never do that, because she is her, not her father. She is initially annoyed by Sayori's very heavy physical affection, but also seriously appreciates it because she would never in a million years ask for a hug.

Yuri and Natsuki's relationship is special. They eventually get to a point where they just understand each other. Yuri will push back on her just enough that Natsuki is confident trusting that what she says is honest, including that she really does love her and will never leave her. She seriously appreciates that. She finds it really fun to try and get Yuri to move outside her comfort zone.

...I might have more posts in this vein to make soon, among other things, but I thought I'd get this out of my askbox now so you don't have to wait in suspense. I'm gonna go sleep. I was sorta running on fumes towards the end here, so if it seems a little more clipped there, I apologizeee

[trainingdummyrabbit]

"not to ocpost-" please oc post (as long as you're ok with it) i would love to learn more about holly and chun-run!! (as long as you're ok with it!!)

! oh its absolutely ok, i love being enabled ^w^ kjfngdkjf um um. this is another Entire Thing(tm) that requires Exposition(tm) so um hope youre ready to read More Paragraphs !

the short answer is

the long answer is: i went 'hey i have two* ruina-era ocs, what if i put them next to each other for fun? haha they'd hate each other ^w^' ... 'Oh God They'd HATE Each Other.' so uh, the exposition.

Holly! You've Never Met Her Before. certainly not. ttttechnically. out of narrative, Holly was originally a branch of what Cocoa's character would have been when I was first developing her. in narrative, Holly is what would have happened if they'd never been picked up by LCorp. she's... an entirely different person, basically.

in essence, if you thought the other one was unstable, Oh Boy(tm). Holly is what happens when the city Actually gets the chance to sink its claws in. it's just this time, she was far, Far less quiet about it. girlies who completely fucking failed their stat check Again. there's only so much 'keep your head down and take it' you can really handle before you're just about ready to tear a bitch apart, and well. Well! anyway.

Holly is another angle of the Human/Monster/Object tangle, in where Cocoa's development hinges on the equivalent of trying to balance several spinning plates and Fucking Up Miserably, Holly has started hurling plates directly into the audience with intent. if you will.

humans are always talking some hot shit about how high and mighty they are, the "value" that comes with just being Human, and yet their entire lives are a horrible, animalistic dance of clawing each other to shreds while hiding behind ideas and roles they themselves put into play, like it's some stupid game. that harm is just an intrinsic part of the human nature. she can't fucking stand it.

essentially, she's an odd argument between the Human and Monster corners of the tangle. not only hates the binds that the city places on them of obligation, but also the ties of human emotion-- namely guilt and connection. that endless dance. she wants nothing more than to shed these ideals completely-- unfortunately, she still intrinsically and unconsciously clings onto them, afraid to let go. a human trying to claw its way out of humanity. it doesn't matter what it takes-- she's not letting this city take her first.

...and then there's Chun-Run.

we just don't know where chun-run came from. but she sure Is, and she's Immediately going to make it a Huge Fucking Problem. being aligned with the musicians of bremen, she has.. very normal views about art, and what it means to be Alive. she's the closest thing to a human time bomb i can think of, probably.

she doesn't have much of a character... honestly kind of intentionally? her entire being is solely rooted in the present, the What Is and the What Will Be. she strives to feel what the pianist's performance invoked that day-- through any means necessary. whatever happens to Her, to anything around her-- none of it matters. first and foremost, she is a conduit. it's all secondary to that singular experience.

horrifying. painful, disgusting. striking, poignant, pungent. it makes her sick to think about, but some part of her wishes she was closer to truly Feel it. its repulsive– but she Needs to hear it again. to witness, to experience. what is it– what was it? to grasp onto an ephemeral feeling she physically cannot understand– frustrating, frustrating. but she Needs to. to make the soul sing, cry out in reverence... to call it a Song is almost insulting.

so you have the worlds most unstable walking contradiction with absolutely no outlet and an unidentified fucking thing intent on wringing some undefineable meaning from the soul through physical violence.

so like, moth meet flame.

chun-run is pretty much Instantly infatuated with holly-- but for the Entire Wrong Reasons. it's pretty much "Yeah I Could Make Her Worse." all the way down, but expressed entirely through Murder. yknow, girl things. and holly, of course, fucking hates this are you for real right now??? shut the fuck up about reaching Art through Violence there is something WRONG WITH YOU. chun is entirely convinced that she's what will harmonize closest to that sound she's chasing-- that dissatisfaction, desire, rage... it's so painfully close. and yet she refuses to acknowledge that spark! refuses to engage entirely! is it not the nature of the soul to sing? so sing girl, sing.

girlies who are trying to claw their way back to stability and girlies who want nothing more than to burn to ashes in a beautiful blaze of Being. in conclusion:

[askfallenroyalty]

So I just kind of wanted to confirm something.

Undyne didn't kill any of the humans before frisk fell in your au right?

Sometimes, I see interpretations where undyne killed one or two of the kids before they made it to asgore and is shown to regret it in their post pacifist aus, and it's just something I find really unbelievable of her to do.

// well, people are allowed to interpret canon and make headcanons if they wanted to

// but it is absolutely not the case in canon. It's very clear Undyne has never killed a human before and that's the dilemma she's facing. The whole point of Undyne's character arc is that she wants to be like Asgore and be a hero and destroy humanity. She's fully indoctrinated into Asgore's revenge ideology. She has a huge heart but its in the wrong place.

You remind her of Papyrus and Asgore. A pair of softies, who don't actually wish harm on anyone. Undyne has trouble grappling with this, because she was taught that humans are why they're trapped and that they need to die for their freedom. That it's justice. Look how heartbroken Asgore is after what humans have done to him.

But then why does it feel bad when she knocked him down and won? Why does victory feel hollow when it should be great? Why does this kid, this dumb human kid who has no right to be so innocent and pacifist? Why does... she not want to win?

Idk I feel people see that scene with Undyne and read it very surface level of "oh haha Papyrus and Asgore are whimps" and miss the context that both are tough, strong characters capable of defeating people in battle but have zero desire to do so. They're a pack of strong and heroic people who can't fall into the lie that Undyne has believed. Undyne's character arc was that she knew she was wrong but didn't know how to process it until you proved to her that maybe-!

maybe true strength isn't in overcoming your enemies but in surviving and choosing not to harm others. A victory based in violence to someone you don't truly want to hurt is never a true victory.

the emotional crux of this is that we now have a new lens to frame Asgore with. We see Undyne's dilemma of choosing Mercy and we know that's what Asgore wants before we even meet him. We know he does not want us dead but feels obligated to. It's an important setup for the (false) climax of the game.

Anyway, analysis and rant aside as much as it annoys me when people ignore canon, they're still allowed to make new lore and engage with the story they want to. Toby's writing is very thick in themes, characterization and meaning. But it's also not the most blunt about details, so its easy to miss or misunderstand on key characterization bits. So I'm not mad if someone thinks Undyne could of been a killer in the past.

If someone finds that plotline engaging, trying to apply the broader themes of mercy and moving on and applying that to Undyne, while misunderstanding a part of her character because they missed this subtle context, that's not so bad! Who am I to say that's wrong? I don't agree with it and I don't really want to engage with that conflict cause I'm a canon-strickler and I personally don't like the idea of Undyne being a killer when her arc is about not becoming one. But alas, its like, fine. I'll stick to my own lane, you know?

[markantonys]

what's wrong with book!Min (gave up on books right now because i can't anymore, i'm on 4th I think? she is just not there)

book 5 is exactly when she started sucking haha so you stopped at the right time! i do get into some spoilers here, though i tried not to say anything too specific that you wouldn't have already known from the first few books (such as the fact that rand has multiple girlfriends and min is one, which her viewing revealed in book 2). also, maybe you won't even want to read this if you'd rather let your opinion of show!min continue on untainted, because i will say that 90+% of the things i'm about to complain about are very unlikely to be a thing in the show.

basically she just gets hit with an abysmal case of Men Writing Women: out of the blue she decides to throw her whole life away to chase rand down and make him love her, she changes her whole personality and style to try to cater to what she thinks rand would find attractive (i'm all for wanting to look hot for your man, but min herself doesn't seem to enjoy her new clothes or find them comfortable, and that's a problem), she stops having any relationships or connections outside of rand, she barely has scenes with anyone but him and in ensemble scenes she's just there to cling sexily onto him while having 0 dialogue because she has nothing to contribute to the plot-relevant discussion going on, she has no storyline besides barnacling herself to his side and being on tap for sex 24/7, she has no narrative role or in-world obligations besides Being Rand's Girlfriend, etc.

and on top of all that, you have fandom calling her ~Best Girl~ and saying that she is the only one of the 3 women who deserves to be with rand because she Puts Her Man First like a Good Girlfriend should, and fuck the other two for having the audacity to have responsibilities outside of being his girlfriend. fuck them for actually being complex, well-rounded characters with independent storylines and character arcs, right? we only like female characters who exist to serve men's storylines!

and on top of all THAT, she DOESN'T EVEN serve rand's storyline! she literally doesn't do anything! she always makes me think of the "let me ask you a very fair question. what DO you do successfully?" vine. you could cut her out of the entire series and very little would change. min fans claim that she was integral to keeping rand anchored during dark times because min and rand claim that is the case, but the actual scenes between them in the text do not back up that claim. i can think of ONE scene where min actually makes an effort to have a serious conversation with rand about what's worrying him; every other time she just stops his doom-and-gloom talk by punching him or waving knives at him or distracting him with sex. and the way people put her up on a pedestal for taking care of rand at his worst (which she doesn't actually do anyway) is a romanticization of the shitty idea that it's a woman's job to be the sole emotional dumping ground for her male partner. i guess it could simply be that Dating Your Therapist is a romance trope i personally dislike, but ugh, i HATE that vibe of their relationship and especially of the way the fandom talks about their relationship.

and on top of all THAT, their relationship is totally logic-breaking at times because rand will go "i'm so isolated and alone! i'm going to go snuggle up in bed with my live-in girlfriend and think about how isolated i am." he will go "i am so dangerous, i have to push away everyone i love! come on min, i'm taking you into the most dangerous magical event of the age during which many channelers will show up to attack us, even though you're a defenseless civilian and there's no reason you need to be there." it feels like RJ wanted to give rand an isolation arc but also wanted him to have a sexy mistress on his arm at all times, and could not understand that those two things are mutually exclusive (unless said mistress is just no-strings-attached sex, but that was not intended to be the case here, although the cognitive dissonance often makes it feel like rand DOES see min as just no-strings-attached sex rather than a real person whose safety he needs to worry about).

her behavior about the whole romantic situation also drives me nuts because she is SO possessive and jealous, which i personally absolutely hate in romantic relationships, though some people do find it attractive, including min herself - there's a scene where she tries to make rand jealous because she thinks it makes the sex hotter and i was like girl wtf? get some dignity. actually "girl wtf? get some dignity" is my attitude towards all her behavior about the relationship because listen, i fully support girls being silly over their crushes, but christ alive the way min comports herself brings me so much secondhand embarrassment. she'll be like "i'm sooooo mature and worldly, i will never lose my head over a man like OTHER women do, because i am Not Like Other Girls, i'm superior to them" (the Not Like Other Girls vibes is another huge annoyance about her character & fandom reception of her character) and then she'll proceed to go plop down into rand's lap and dandle herself on his knee in the middle of a political meeting to show off to everyone present that he belongs to her. girl, you are a grown-ass woman! get some dignity! she also has a shitty attitude towards the polycule situation, i won't say more since the details of that are beyond book 4 and this post is also getting super long, but suffice it to say that, surprise surprise, possessive and jealous people do not work well in polyamorous relationships.

but most of the above is the fault of the author (or the fandom), not the character. i can't exactly separate the two while reading because "RJ is writing min badly" very quickly blurred into "i feel super annoyed every time she is onscreen" very quickly blurred into "i can't stand this character," but it does mean that the show has a good chance to fix most or all of these problems with her because they aren't necessarily intrinsic to her characterization, they're just symptoms of RJ's weird ideas about het romance and gender norms. the show making her a world-weary 30-something-year-old who takes no shit and who is GNC in a queer-presenting genuinely-doesn't-care-what-straight-men-think-of-her-looks way rather than a not-like-other-girls-tomboy-who-still-caters-to-the-male-gaze way is already a HUGE step in the right direction!

[jewelthenerd]

Monkie Kid AND pirates!?!?!? Please, do share.❤️

The way I internally screamed when I saw this in my askbox /pos 

( The actual au rambling starts after the ‘——————‘ in case anyone reading this wants to skip, everything before that is just me talking ) 

Sorry for not answering immediately by the way! I was having trouble gathering my thoughts in a way that could actually be considered cohesive because I kept coming back to the fact that I made one colored sketch of my stupid Monkie Kid pirate au that I haven’t touched since June and got an ask about it within 24 hours of posting said sketch. ( Technically, 3 asks, but the other 2 are from my bestie Dark who’s obligated to support me, as he is my best friend, so those don’t count /j ( Love you Dark don’t kill me please ) )

Originally I wanted to draw something for this ask. Then I remembered Macaque is the only one with a proper drawn design right now ( and he doesn’t even have a reference ) because I decided to redesign everyone since the other designs are from several months ago and my art has changed since then. I didn’t want to leave this ask sitting in my inbox for however long it’d take me to design all the characters I’d need for the idea I had, so I decided to just settle for a little au ranting instead, though once I get those designs done I will be trying to draw for asks ( that is, if I get any other asks about this au ).

Okay, now it’s time to actually ramble about what you came to hear about- I apologize if it’s a little all over the place, I haven’t ever really talked about this au outside of conversations with friends haha

————————————

I’ve decided to only talk about a few things for now because if I tried to go over everything it’d be way too long and nobody wants to read that much about a random Monkie Kid pirate au. So instead I’ve decided to just give a summarized explanation of how this au starts, a plus a few little fun facts about the characters.

I would like to say that I did screw logic a little bit with this au. As in, logically, if pirates were common before Wukong was imprisoned under a mountain, things would probably be a lot different during the main events of the au, which takes place over a thousand years later. However it’s not that different, because I made this au for the pirates, not the logic. Plus, Monkie Kid isn’t the most ‘realistic’ show anyways, that’s one of the things that makes it fun.

Oh, also, I think I mentioned this in the first post about this au a few months ago, but this au was created when I made the impulsive decision to watch all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies on a random Thursday in May. I mention this because I think there’s definitely some stuff in the au that you can tell was inspired by/based on the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, especially with Lady Bone Demon and the events of Season 3, Macaque also has a thing going on that closely resembles something in one of those movies, not an exact match, but pretty dang close. Not even covering any of that stuff in this rant I just thought I’d go ahead and get that out of the way so nobody notices the similarities and thinks it was something I was trying to hide ahah-

✨Now time to actually explain the start of the au✨

MK, via shenanigans, ends up on the ship of Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, who’s a well-known hero and MK’s idle. Wukong decides he likes the kid’s energy and wants to train him, if he can prove himself, that is ( also the kid can lift his staff which is pretty much a clear sign he should mentor said kid ). MK agrees, meanwhile his friends are trying to figure out what the heck happened to him and where he’s gone, going down a conspiracy theory/rumor rabbit hole until they all decide that MK is likely in danger and needs their help, so they all pack their things and set off with barely any idea what they’re doing but enough spirit to make up for it. MK passes his trial, greatly angering the Demon Bull Family in the process- but hey, his friends are here now! Though he’s just now realizing he didn’t tell anyone before he left and they all thought he was missing. Since MK passed the test, Wukong is ready to have him as a student, unfortunately MK is also just now realizing he has to pick between going home and staying so Wukong can mentor him. He’s torn, it’s an impossible decision to make, so obviously he decides not to make it at all, instead turning to ask his brand new mentor and asking if maybe- just maybe- his friends could stay too? If they helped out and didn’t cause too much trouble? Wukong, after much persuasion, agrees, though somewhat reluctantly, if MK’s friends wish to stay, they can. Then MK has to convince his friends that dropping their entire lives to live on a boat is a good idea, which he surprisingly does accomplish, it helped that Mei was on his side almost immediately. So, after a quick trip home to get everything in order, they all set sail together, eagerly awaiting the adventures to come ( while completely oblivious to the horrors that would follow /j )

And now it’s time for…

✨A Somewhat Chaotic And Random Character Fun Fact List✨

Ne Zha is overworked and not paid enough for this bullshit

MK accidentally gets close to killing his opponent(s) on multiple occasions 

Tang ran a little book store before the main events of the au started

Lady Bone Demon never possesses a child

Mei gets a gun

Red Son lost most of his left leg, he built his own prosthetic

Macaque embraced the ‘spooky ghost pirate villain’ role a LOT before his eventual redemption 

The Spider Gang lives!

Wukong does have a permit and it’s not just a piece of paper that says “I do what I want” /hj

Vague height order, tallest to shortest, goes: Sandy, Ne Zha ( with rings ), Red Son, Tang, Wukong, Ne Zha ( without rings ), Macaque, MK, Mei, Pigsy ( Obviously I didn’t include EVERY character, just the main cast + my favorites )

Out of MK’s friends, Sandy is the only one who really knows anything about sailing

Macaque has a frankly ridiculous amount of daggers hidden in both areas he visits frequently and his outfit ( my guy even keeps one in each of his boots )

MK’s swimming abilities are mediocre at best

I think that’s a pretty good amount of information to start out with, since I DO want to post more about this au in the future. I don’t know how consistently I’d post since it takes me a lot longer to finish stuff, but I’d definitely try my best! I mean, just typing out answers to questions is easy, but if possible I’d like to draw stuff to go with answers and such. But this is like- the best case scenario where magically a group of people who are invested in the idea of a Monkie kid pirate au find this, which I don’t really expect tbh, it really just depends on how things go ig.

Anyways, if you got this far, thanks for taking the time to read all of this, I hope it was entertaining, I hope there’s no typos, I’m going to go draw my pirates now

[indras-wife]

(Bad English ahead, I'm sorry).

Hiii <3, I want to tell you how much I appreciate that you created this blog! And I'm happy that the blog is growing and now you're getting more interesting asks and requests. I swear you're doing the lord's work feeding us good Indra content. There isn't enough of him anywhere on the internet and that makes me so sad, WE NEED MORE OF THAT MAN.

Anyways I do have a request, but I'm afraid it's not interesting (it's just silly i think haha). I would like to know if you have some headcanons about what the daily life of our serious man would have been like? What activities did he do as part of his routine, besides training and studying ninjutsu? Do you think he had any hobbies? And what kind of duties did he have towards the community in which he lived? In the filler it looked like he was in charge of "enforcing the law", but I wonder if he had other responsibilities (administrative tasks or something like that).

Sorry if my questions are a little vague, boring or if you already have written something along this lines, but you can add other elements that you see fit. I'll honestly read everything you write! ✨ Sending you lots of love. Thanks for taking the time to read this!✨

Anonnnnn, this request along with your encouraging kind words made my day I swear!.💖🥰🥺 Thank you immensely for reading my blog and supporting it! Every encouraging word makes me want to write about this wonderful man even more! Thank you, thank you, thank you!💖💖💖 AND YES!! There's really not enough Indra content here, which is tragic. That man is a too handsome and interesting to be ignored. I take it upon myself to talk about him as much as I can and your interesting request will help me add more insight on him!💖💖💖

Indra, on a daily basis, is a very busy man. He carries the weight of huge responsibilities on his shoulder. No one asked him to do these, but as an older sibling, and as the future successor of ninshu he feels obliged to do what is needed. Besides training and studying, which occupy most of his time, Indra has other activities or hobbies luckily.

One of the first activity that takes up a lot of time, is patrolling around. Indra believes that setting order around and having people follow the law is actually the only way to harmony. We saw in the anime how he doesn't hesitate to punish those who break the rules. By doing it, he sets an example for others telling them indirectly not to break laws and follow the order his father set years ago. He also takes part in writing the law that villagers have to follow, so this job is a very important one for him.

His other hobby is walking. Is it a surprise? This man LOVES late night walks by himself, as it gives him the peace of mind he needs. His usual walking place is the woods. As a child Indra used to train there and wander around, which helped him discover hidden secret tunnels, leading to extraordinary beautiful scenery. He enjoys laying on the grass or sitting on it, looking at the moon and the starry skies, allowing his mind to take him outside of the earth. Indra never admits it aloud, but he is fascinated by the outside world. He catches himself daydreaming about travelling to space, wanting to experience seeing it with his own eyes.

Indra also enjoys writing. Yes, he enjoys writing! He is a huge bookworm and enjoyed reading his father's works ever since he was a baby, but he also loves writing about his own ideologies and thoughts. He is the inventor of Ninjutsu, so he had to keep up with his creations and document every progress with the hand signs. Every night, he spends an hour or two filling the book with the new hand signs he was able to form, detailing how he did it and what the hand sign can do. He also keeps a small diary, where he writes about himself. He finds it easier to express himself in writing rather than talking. Indra makes sure his diary is well hidden so no one can find and read his dark "secrets" about himself.

Not doing too often, but he loves drawing too. In his mind he is terrible at it, but he believes practice makes it perfect so whenever he can, he draws in his small journal, be it a tree, a pond, a face or whatever his mind tells him to do. He is a very artistic man.

As a part of the council, Indra was also in charge of the security of the village. Despite living in peaceful time, he and others realized that an unexpected attack can happen and their borders need to be strong. He took it upon himself to make sure the borders are secure an the soldiers are well trained in case a fight broke out.

Moving to little softer things, Indra, from time to time, would visit the villagers, in hopes of helping them. He was doing it mostly as a teenager, as he was not too closed off yet. As an adult he stopped this habit, but was still keeping a close eye to the village and having his students search around, asking if there was anything needed to be done. Indra was this hero from shadows as all the problems the villagers reported, have been solved by him immediately.

He also has a habit of sitting under sakura trees and watch the time pass. He usually does it at nights, as he has insomnia and sleeping is a problem for him. Sitting under the trees, reading a book or writing about something helps him connect with himself spiritually. The soft breeze playing with his hair and the cherry blossom petals gives him the satisfaction from life he is hungry for.

Indra also loves travelling. He is the type of person who will take the longer route just to be out in nature more. As a teenager he sneaked out of the house to visit the neighboring villages, to meet new people and find new things. A little mischievous of him, but his hunger for knowing and seeing more could never have him sit in one place for a long time. He was beloved wherever he went, with women falling in love with him, and men praising his skills and knowledge. As a grown up, he would keep a low profile when visiting different places, not wanting to be recognized by anyone.

To finish the list of his activities besides training and studying, Indra from time to time likes spending time with his students. He isnt that vocal about it, but he would not mind taking his trusted friends for a walk, or for a drink. He doesnt drink, but seeing how his two students get tipsy and act weird is always bringing a smile to his face. Being with his "friends" is the only time he allows himself to open up a little bit and show his true self, without hiding behind a mask.

[lookingfts]

What are your favorite tropes/motifs/themes to write when you write about Kate and Anthony? What are some constants that you think are imperative to stay true to their characters regardless of the AU?

I think your signatures/strengths include intimacy in a variety of forms, including smut in general, but specifically porn with feelings. I truly think authors like you are important in giving respect to the skill it takes to write good sexually explicit material. 99% of readers (at large, not in this community) are so dismissive of this facet of writing, especially in fan fiction, which we all know is massively disrespected by people who don't read it. As is romance writing in general. I'm rambling. Anyway.

Anyway, thanks for all the stories and for fielding so many questions here. I feel like after next week, the anticipated lack of Kate and Anthony screentime (at least during this first half) will see an uptick in interest in new Kanthony stories/headcanons/missing scenes from fans, and of course no writer is obligated to fill that demand, but I hope you and the many other talented writers here find some inspiration in what little of Lord and Lady Bridgerton we will see.

Also, writing grounded, flawed characters that remain likable but eventual find growth, often with the help of professional therapy. I LOVE seeing therapy come up in fictional narratives. We all need it. I wish it were more accessible in real life.

Lavishing Kate with the character building and time and attention her character deserves, the way the show didn't (and will no doubt continue not to).

Um... I have more, but struggling to articulate it at the moment.

Sorry for the rambling. I did intend just to answer those questions up top 🤦🏾‍♀️

(Also, Kate and Anthony being exhibitionists, haha. I love the different ways that pops up in your stories. These two, I swear.)

So many good questions here.

My favorite tropes/themes – that’s a hard one! Exhibitionism, absolutely – I just feel like canonically they’re the kind of people who get a thrill by tempting fate. Just right out on that gazebo where anyone could have caught them. 😂 I absolutely love writing dirty talk, I love an age gap, and I love playing with dom/sub dynamics (it seems fairly universally accepted that Kate and Anthony are both switches, and I find something so swoon-worthy about one of them willingly submitting to the other because they have full trust in them, and they communicate openly). Outside of smut tropes, I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort and bickering as an expression of sexual tension. Also miscommunication because they both have their Jump to Conclusions mats out at all times.

I think in every universe, Anthony is obsessed with Kate and Kate is at least a little reluctant to fall for him for one reason or another (mostly because he’s a sad little rich boi).

Unfortunately, yes, fanfiction does tend to be the butt of jokes. I hate when people use “it’s like fanfiction” to describe a poorly written piece of media – when I think that most people who read fanfiction can name dozens of stories that are better than the media they’re based on. And I think people realize how hard it is to write good smut when they read bad smut. 😂 I’ve seen some truly horrendous phrasing in smut.

Also agreed that professional therapy should be more accessible. I’m glad that the newer generations are speaking so openly about mental health, and the stigma continues to diminish. Therapy is healthcare, like anything else. And I think Anthony and/or Kate working through their issues with the help of therapy a) makes a lot of sense for their characters and their trauma and b) shows that they’re committed to being the healthiest versions of themselves for each other. (I have semi-recently become aware that a lot of people have had bad experiences with therapy, so this is not to diminish that! I personally have had good experiences but I understand that’s not a blanket statement for everyone.)

Fanfiction really gives you a wonderful opportunity to dig into the characters and flesh out lots of details about their backstories, in a way that TV shows aren’t usually able to do. I particularly like writing from Kate’s perspective because I relate to her so much, though it’s also very fun to write Anthony’s unhinged inner monologue!

[yaoxsblog]

Nothing is canon in hetalia so I’m making my own list of headcanons regarding worldbuilding and al that whimsical stuff

I should probably mention this is inspired by THE worldbuilding hc post, I reblog it all the time but just in case you haven’t read it (how could you), you can do that here

Oh also umm all of these are both serious and not. Take them all with a grain of salt as they say. Im just having fun

I think thats it… lets go

Their body temperature depends on their climate. Sort of. Technically they all have a normal body temp, but you know how some people are always cold? In that way.

I think it’s canon actually that climates influence the general character of a personifications… although romano exists… so maybe not…. Not sure about that one.

They don’t get sick, in fact I hc they CANT get sick with normal human diseases. Their well being depends on the state of their people/the country. They get „sick” from wars, rebellions, econimic issues etc.

They can’t reproduce. Except for the times they can. Because egypt.

They exist as long as people feel connected to the idea of a „nation” or otherwise feel connected to that identity. Even if they „die”, as long as there are people who consider themselves a certain nationality, they can come back to life.

I’m partial to the idea of some of them appearing just because they were created artificially… like brčko. I will never actually talk more about her all you get is cryptic little puzzle pieces of info about her. Anyways she magically appeared when some documents were signed because funny

I’m unsure what happens when a nation is wiped out. Like when every person who was once a part of that nation either dies or stops identifying with it… maybe they get sick and die but maybe instead they turn into a human and slowly age, then die as the last person of that nationality….

They need to eat sleep etc but can go without doing any of that for longer periods of time than normal humans

They have hobbies and interests and can love humans but have no ambition or desire to live. Not even an animal like urge to live to pass something on. Because they really can’t. They exist to live and to vibe only. And despite no aspiration to live they will beg for mercy if you put a knife to their throat…. Hah… thats so weird

Immensly calming aura to normal people. Probably works better on people of their own nationality, they bring a sort of inspirational energy to the room. I feel as thought they inspired poets and artists, and all those works dedicated to the idea of a nation were actually about a being…

Despite being able to die (technically, even if not permanently) it takes them hundreds of years to understand the concept of death.

Same with aging, it makes no sense how a human deteriorates in, say, 60 years. How little that is, compared to their own age.

Wait, I have a comic I like that describes this well - here

Theyre not inherently violent. At least not most of them. Their wants don’t always align with what the people want but what can they do other than oblige. Yea

Not that important but they can totally have altered states. Half of them are high 24/7

Mentioned it before but they get, or at least most of them used to - get attached to their leaders. It wears off the older they get because they simply get used to the fact they change so often, at least from their perspective

Most of them are pretty open with the fact theyre not humans. If you ask them i image most would just go haha yea thats me I’m 6969 years old lol

I’m very much aware that the rule which i think is canon based on one ep…. That pgysica age related to land mass, is stupid bullshit and generally doesn’t apply in half the cases. And therefore I’ll say to me, I just accept whatever canon physical age you want to give to a character. Whatever reason you want for it is acceptable too.

Thats it for now :PP

[sanchoyo]

Hiiiiii, it is I again!! I just finished Cold Love and gosh!

The ending was just so nice, mostly when I thought SHIGGY WAS DYING FOR A MOMENT- 😭 Then they were just being super sweet at the beach and I ngl cried a little, they all deserved that happiness <3 I also still wanna cry (In a good way tho) BECAUSE I FINISHED THE WHOLE THING I wanna write a little note to myself, next to my bed, erase my memories about these 2 fics, then wake up next morning, read the note and reread the whole thing with as much joy as the first time! I'm gonna reread them FOR SURE, but not now as they're still fresh in my brain :3

And you know, Cold Love has opened my mind more than it already was I mean I already love heroes and villains, but you've put a lot more details that made me go: "Shit, I didn't think it was THAT much"

The way you wrote how the hero commission treats heroes made me think of what my parents always tell me about Actors and Models. "Their lives/bodies don't belong to them, it belongs to the company they work for" That sentence hit me even more when the chapters were Hawks centered. Poor guy, he was a literal lab rat. The worst is that he ISN'T THE ONLY ONE GOING THROUGH THAT

Villains, I already sympathized with a lot, in other medias and MHA too But your fic made me realize that, when they do those crimes, it's for them but mostly for OTHERS as well!! They're like heroes, in a way, because they want to make society BETTER. They do this because they know how it feels to be rejected, hated and they want to change it so NO ONE ELSE has to go through this. Also, we often see them not caring about dying if they do achieve their goal, because they know next gens will have better lives than they ever had. WHICH I THINK IS HELLA SAD BUT SO NICE OF THEM???

Though I DON'T agree with them taking lives of course, but I don't hate them anyways because, when they've been rejected by everyone and everything, how else are they supposed to get attention? Very unfortunately, crimes is often their answer…

I think, if I was in MHA, I'd also opt for the Vigilante route. Fuck the hero commission lmao

I won't tell why, but let's just say that I'm more compassionate about villains now <3

ON A MUCH LIGHTER NOTE!! Fanart for Warm Healer is on the way!! So keep an eye open? :3

Fun fact for Cold Love: When Bret asked why Dabi was in the closet, I blurted out: "BECAUSE HE'S GAY!!" Lmao

So yeah, just wanted to say your fics are great! They've inspired me into improving my own fics <3 I even started making my own Shiggy x Reader AND a Dabi x Reader too! Because most of them are smut centered and I don't want just NSFW ya kno?

Anyways, I'm done rambling lol Thanks for writing WH and CL, thanks for inspiring me, thanks for bringing me joy and sorry for rambling that much lmao

Hope you're doing well, lots of love, take care and keep being awesome!!

thank you so much for such a long, sweet message 💗💗💗

I really enjoy bnha fics where the writers closely examine the society and its problems because its SO interesting (and im kind of sad the way it went in canon, I wanted a lot more and found the school setting kind of restricting for it in general, but we'll always have fics haha) i'm glad you enjoyed me doing that just a little bit! (maybe it was kind of weird to include in a romance SI series, but also it would've felt like a huge disservice in my opinion because ALL of the villains stories are influenced by the society they live in and how heroes are treated...)

aaah again, don't feel obligated to do the fanart but if you do, definitely tag me/send it my way, I'd love to see!! 🥺 (also you're writing your own shigaraki/reader and dabi/reader!!! omg!! I hope you have fun making your own!!! they're so fun to write <3 I agree on the wanting more SFW SI fics, sometimes I just wanna go on silly adventures with my favs y'know? :"))

no need to apologize for rambling!! I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it so much!!! your message made my day ^_^ I hope you have a good day too and your writing/art projects go well!!

[dundykelevesconte]

hi teddy <3 arctic sundogs and franklin for the terror ask game :)

hiii ellie!! :D thank you for the ask!! <3 this got kind of long so answers under the cut

arctic - how would you cope on a victorian ship?

honestly a life at sea sounds equal parts ideal and terrifying to me, so any time not spent staring aimlessly into the ocean would DEF be filled with keeping a very detailed diary … i’d be writing down everything. mate i don’t like made a joke today i actually found funny. disgruntled about this. if i were some doomed explorer and they found my journal hundreds of years later with my remains they would be like my god this guy just never shut the hell up did they. reading and writing both i think is what would distract me the most

sundogs - talk about a moment in the show that interests you most

ohh gosh i could talk about SO many but the first one that comes to mind is hodgson’s papist church monologue in ep9. he’s been on my mind a lot lately and i paid quite close attention to him my recent watch through and he stands out to me more so than some of the other characters because he’s a character who doesn’t speak an incredible amount throughout the series (despite being terror’s certified yapper) but almost everything he says is actually really telling about his character. we learn he plays an instrument at home, in his final scene he speaks some french, and just about every instance in which he talks it’s almost like he’s doing so through a direct window to and from his humanity (asking hickey “who�� the meat he offers him is, visibly upset to learn what became of neptune). then we get to this scene that comes after he’s partaken in cannibalism, a scene that (to me at least) seems kind of out of nowhere especially being not directly at the end of the episode, but somehow it still fits in perfectly. we come to the crux of hodgson’s characterization here because he finally gets the chance to speak with no holds barred and he’s very particular with every minute he has to do so. the way he delivers this speech, the slow cadence and tone of his voice and even the subject of it, is just as much for goodsir as it is for himself i think. even when goodsir is pretty much as good as unresponsive he carries on anyway which in and of itself is yet another tell for him. we get an idea of his own sense of self here too (“i was frightened for them. i was told they were doing some great, unforgivable thing” “i felt forgiven of every poor, weak, or selfish thing within my soul” “i pretended to be ill. they knew i was pretending. to this day i don’t know why i did it” “if i were a braver man… i would kill mr. hickey, though it would mean my death, too” and of COURSE “i am hungry and i want to live”) like this is just such a RICH source of characterization for a character we’ve really only seen glimpses of up until this point when it all comes to a head when he gets his own little arc re: his involvement with the mutineers (which is a whole other can of worms i could talk about forever LOL). ntm the monologue itself is just so beautifully written, the delivery is of course on point but the words themselves and the picture they paint are so visceral and moving. sorry for the essay HAHA i’m just very very interested in hodgson as a character and this fleeting moment we have alone with him is just so endlessly compelling to me. especially when you factor in that he’s been steadily consuming lead for years now and has ended up on the wrong side of what remains of their crew but still he takes this moment to be so unashamedly human regardless. anyway ……..

franklin - who’s an underrated character in your opinion?

SILNA. NO QUESTION i do feel obligated to give a cold boy answer as well though in which case i will say dundy. not only is he criminally underrated but also criminally underUSED being that he’s a very close friend to fitzjames from the beginning and is quickly the only remaining lieutenant on erebus i just feel like there’s so much there they could have explored in terms of his and even fitzjames’ characterization were it not for his curse as a minor side character … whatever. i’ll write The Dundy Show if nobody else will

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Just so you know BeDeviled is one of the fics I recommend the most when people ask me for Jungkook recs 🥰

That story really moved me and only one other fic made me cry as hard as yours did and for that I wanna say thank you 💜

Writers don’t get as much credit as they should especially when putting so much love and devotion into a project like BeDeviled. It’s sad to see that some people read the fic, like it and then move on so I just wanna let you know that I haven’t moved on from this fic and I think about it every so often.

With me being a smaller blog and still trying to figure out my writing style I tend to look up to writers like yourself and I just hope you’ll continue to write. Not because people want you to but because YOU want to.

I always have to remind myself of that since I tend to stress at times when I can’t get the next parts of my stories out fast enough 🥲

I don’t know if that was something you needed a reminder of but I just thought I would say it anyway 🥰

Writing should be a fun and creative outlet and at times it can be really healing so I just hope it continues to be that for you!

Love you sm and good luck on all of your future projects! 💜

That is so incredibly kind and sweet of you!! Thank you for recommending Bedeviled and for saying all that. Sometimes it's a little hurtful when something I'm so excited for, worked so hard for, and poured my heart soul into isn't appreciated or acknowledged, but I have you guys ❤️ so it doesn't matter, you guys always support me and say such nice things ❣️

Tbh I haven't moved on from bedeviled either haha, that one was a sticker LOLOL

As for writing, it looks like you know that it's for you first and not just for others. Hold on to that really really tight in your mind, ok? no matter what. I promise, it'll be a lot more rewarding if you remember it isn't an obligation to people on the internet but for you because you want to. I learned that the hard way and sometimes I'm still learning it. So thank you for reminding me of that too!

I'm hoping this next phase in my life, what with publishing a book later this year, will help me to remember that!🙏🏻😊 Thank you for looking up to me, I won't let you down 🖤

ILY 🤟🏻

-chip

[melodraca]

Hey! I saw in one of your posts, in the tags, that you were an English major. I'm going to college soon, and I was wondering if you had any advice on picking out your major. What do you like about majoring in English, and what exactly do English majors do? Thank you!

First of all, congrats! That's really exciting! I really hope you enjoy your time in college! Second, this is gonna be a bit long, so I apologize in advance o7

I'm honestly not sure how helpful this is, but for the longest time I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I actually enrolled in university as a mature student a good 5-ish years after I graduated high school. I was so tired of school-related stress (and the way that the public school system functioned in general) that I was honestly considering not even going to post-secondary. I bounced between different potential majors, although I couldn't help but feel tired just thinking about them, like I would be going to school out of obligation or societal expectation rather than genuine passion.

When I came back around to the idea years later, I started poking around my local university's website. As I was going through, reading everything over, and clicking through different subjects, I realized that I was actually really feeling excited about school for the first time... pretty much ever. Because I realized that I had the chance to do things at my own pace, with a focus on subjects that I actually liked, rather than what my family expected would get me a traditionally "good job."

I narrowed my major down to a choice between English and creative writing, but I ultimately went with English. As much as I love creative writing, I prefer doing it as a hobby. It's the same with art for me: getting too serious with it made me feel less passionate and creative (to be fair though, I did take two first year creative writing classes as electives and I am genuinely proud of the stuff I wrote for them!)

With English, I could do my favourite thing in the world: overthinking literature and talking ad nauseam about the media I like. I love rambling, and writing essays is pretty much just organized info-dumping. I also wanted to learn more about history and culture, especially the way that they influence and are influenced by the works of literature, film, etc. of the times. In my experience so far, English classes have mostly consisted of reading or watching a bunch of texts, analyzing them & picking them apart, discussing said texts with my peers, and comparing/contextualizing them with each other. It's way more fun for me than it probably sounds to most people haha

Side note: I'm also taking biology as a minor (specifically with a focus on zoology because I love animals). The contrast between using the more creative and writerly side of my brain, and the more logical sciencey and side works well for me.

I'm still not super career focused, though I have certainly thought about it. I'm on disability support right now, so thankfully I'm fortunate enough to not need to juggle work and school. Ideally, I would love it if my degree landed me a stable job that doesn't make me feel miserable or put the same strain on me that retail and food service do. But I'm kinda just going with the flow for now.

Anyways, that's all to say: look over all of your options and narrow it down to the ones that draw your interest and passion the most. Consider what you want out of school, explore the potential career options that each subject could bring if that's your goal, and generally go with what makes you feel the best.

I know most schools have exploratory courses and academic advisors that can help you figure out what you want to do, so I would definitely look into that! Oh, and look into the required classes for each subject too! It personally helped me organize and prepare for everything I would need to do so that I was less blind-sighted by, as an example, my mandatory statistics class for my biology minor (I'm DEFINITELY not a math person)

Good luck, and I'm sorry again for how long this got! I wish you the best :D

[celestie0]

hiiii ellie 👋🏻

just wanna take a moment to let you know how much your writing means to me :') i'm kinda shy about doing this but fuck it, imma do it so here goes nothing lol.

for starters, i'm relatively new to this platform. i was pulled in of course by none other than satoru x reader smut... but what REALLY dialed me in was your stories.

it started with ihm, i love how you write gojo and i live for the bantering 🤭 the characters feel so real and fleshed out, you impressed me right off the bat.

so after that, i found kickoff and girl, i literally BINGE READ the entire series, staying up until like 3 am LOL. i remember laying on my couch, going through all the emotions. kicking my feet, laughing, feeling pain from the angst 😭 looked at the clock and was like oh shit, tomorrow is gonna suck but WORTH IT 🫠

and the thing is... while yes, the smut was amazing (guuuurl especially when i'm ovulating, you have fed us good 😩��🏻), it wasn't the main thing driving me to your stories. what really hooked me in was the way you write and how you are able to bring so much emotion to these characters. also, you are reeeeeally good at building up their relationships 😮‍💨

i've said this before but i just want to reiterate that you are the person that encouraged me to start writing on this platform. you seem like overall just a really freaking chill person too, i've always loved your vibes (also we're west coast twins i'm in socal 🫶🏻)

anyways, after starting to write i see how much hard work and effort goes into having this hobby. it really disheartens me to hear about the crap some people say, those people are really selfish and inconsiderate.

you have NO obligation to do this yet here you are, sharing your passion with us, and we are blessed for it 😇

anyways, this kind of became a side tangent... but i guess i just want you to know that the people that are sending rude shit to you and nici are on my list 😤

you are a queen, i hope you are enjoying your trip, and staying healthy. sending you lots of love 💛

hi my love omg i’m so sorry it took me so long to respond to this ask i wanted to have some proper time to respond but i read it when you sent it n it made my whole day seriously!! 🥺💕 you are so so kind

HAHAH i’m so glad you had fun binging kickoff!! that’s a lot to read in one sitting xD hope it didn’t ruin your sleep schedule TOO much skdhfksdjh

thank u sm for your kind words about my writing :”’’’) i spend a manic amt of time daydreaming about my stories n wondering ab my characters n i think i try to value character development n personalities the most so to hear that you are really feeling the emotion to my stories and characters means the world to me fr, and for you to appreciate it like aaaaaa i swear it’s what keeps me going n writing n i want to thank you for help keeping my passion alive <3 ALSO SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT ABOUT THE BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS THING BCI WORRY AB THAT A LOT SO ITS REALLY REASSURING HAHA

yaaaay fellow writer <3 i think it’s so cool how writers kinda domino off one another n we blossom into writers of our own it’s truly amazing feeling to know i inspired someone to write as well!! AND OMG SAME I AM ALSO IN SOCAL!! AAA

ugh yeah. i feel like you don’t really know how difficult it is to write until you start doing it yourself haha. i have gained SUCH large respect for my fave fanfic writers over the past year that i’ve been writing because i realize the dedication it takes, esp something done for free. i do wish some people were nicer, but alas that’s the reality i suppose. AW THANKS FOR LOOKING OUT FOR US <33

you are just SUCH an angel and i can feel the immaculate vibes from you through the screen. ty again sm for this message my love omg :’’) i really needed it. sending you SO much love as well <333

[rat-prophetess]

wow. i guess i rly don't get it. i get most other things i can think of except martyrs

oh that is absolutely 100% fair. It’s incredibly specific, and it’s my favorite film but I’ve only ever recommended it to one (1) person irl haha.

I think the thing is that most people who watch it think that it’s just torture porn and, I mean, fair, but I think it’s a love story. Like I think the reason I latched into it so hard is that it’s about human connection even when the world contains nothing but relentless, unbearable suffering. It’s a queer(!) love story about how love doesn’t have to be reciprocated to be real, and the capacity to love someone unconditionally is something to hold onto when there’s nothing else. Even if it can’t save you or stop what’s happening around you, it’s still important.

And I think it’s an exceptionally good representation of trauma and doesn’t shy away from portraying the way certain things can fuck you up irreversibly. Which sounds fatalistic and cruel, but it’s also true, and it’s reassuring for someone to admit that.

Like, whatever that quote is about how horror is there to “disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed” comes down to the fact that a lot of horror movies can be boiled down to “sometimes awful things can happen to people who don’t deserve them for no reason and they can’t be prevented”. And if you’re a person who’s had a pretty ok life so far, that sounds like a threat; but if you’re someone who’s gone through a lot of shit, especially at a young age, that can sound like “it wasn’t your fault, there was nothing you could have done about it, and you’re not responsible for deriving some kind of meaning from it”, you know?

(And I’m not saying that everyone who has trauma loves horror, that everyone who loves horror has trauma, or any related corollaries lol. Two of my best friends have PTSD, one of them watched Martyrs with me and the other one hates anything scary and loves cartoons and those are both 100% valid.)

Also just on a meta level, it’s weirdly reassuring to me that the writer/director was suicidal depressed (shocked pikachu face) and despite/because of that managed to create this extremely beautiful piece of art that made me feel less alone.

Anyway sorry that was more than I meant to write and less coherent bc I just woke up but thank you for coming to my ted talk!! I am actually incapable of shutting up about my special interests so please do not feel obliged to read All That