#but more likely I'll see americans telling them to shut the fuck up. so.
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rotisseries · 3 days ago
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my tiktok fyp is about to be so goddamn fucking annoying
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queen-of-reptiles · 9 months ago
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𝚂𝙴𝙲𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚂
description: ona was finally where she had dreamed, she was back at barcelona with her best friend and loving every moment. only problem? she's dating her captain's younger sister, you.
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ona batlle x putellas!reader
part of the 'hidden' universe
part two here
part three here
mapi leon x bronze!reader here
disclaimer: this is all fiction do not take any of this seriously !
warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive - cuteness, queenie needing to use google translate because her Spanish is sub par! x
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y/n just posted
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liked by alexiaputellas, taylorswift, and 13.9m others
y/n life dumppppp 💕💕
comments limited
alexiaputellas: Estoy muy orgulloso de ti hermanita!
so proud of you baby sister
^
y/n: ily !! 💕
lucybronze: The little one of me says you're cool!
^
y/n: tell her I miss her! 😔
blanca_suarez: my little daughter! 🙂
^
y/n: my movie mama!! 😙
florencepugh: I wanna see the photos of after you did that jump
^
y/n: shut up 😩
^
florencepugh: no
^
y/n: I'll fight you Flo
^
florencepugh: come at me pipsqueak !!
ona.batlle: Looks like fun ! 😌
^
y/n: Would be more fun with you here ;)
^
alexiaputellas: y/n, no flirting with my teammates.
^
y/n: awwww :(
MariaLeonn16: MISS YOU ! 💙
^
y/n: MISS BAGHEERA MORE 💙
^
MariaLeonn16: hmmpf.
see more comments...
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y/n hummed as she stepped around her kitchen, her fluffy socks keeping her feet warm from the cold tile, which was cold as she couldn't be bothered to put the heated floor on.
Her Persian cat, Milo, rubbed against her feet and she smiled, bending down to pick him up and press a kiss to his fluffy head before placing him back down.
y/n then moved over to the bowl of food she had ordered, smiling when her phone lit up with the familiar name which kept her warm for almost a year now.
"Hi baby!" y/n smiles, her Spanish accent not as thick as it used to be when she spoke English.
y/n had been in England for a few years now, on and off, and due to the fact she mainly spoke in English and acted with either English or Americans, y/n's accent had dulled slightly.
"Hola!" Ona called back.
The two had been secretly dating for nearly a year now. Why secretly? Because Ona's captain was Alexia Putellas. Alexia Putellas was y/n's sister. Her over-protective older sister.
The two were aware they were nothing short of fucked. They were aware of that. But the two had fallen in love while Ona was playing in Manchester and at the time, they couldn't keep away.
Now, their relationship existed of long phone calls and sneaky hook-ups when y/n came to see her as best she could, as well as trying to avoid flashing cameras and nosy people.
Truth is the only other person to know about them was Lucy Bronze's younger sister, and that was only because Ona and her were best friends and she was dating Mapi Leon in secret as well. They really were a group.
"How was training?" y/n asks Ona as she settles on the sofa, propping the phone up on a few cushions as she bought her bowl of noodles toward her.
"Aburrida, todo en lo que estaba pensando era en ti mi amor." Ona sighs and y/n chuckles.
Boring. All I was thinking about was you my love.
"Eres tan romántica!" y/n laughs at her girlfriend.
you're such a romantic.
"Do not pretend you do not love it, mi amor." Ona says and y/n hums.
"Well, I do love feeling the way you make me feel." y/n sighs jokingly and Ona's smile widens. "But, you should be paying attention in training." y/n finishes and Ona huffs.
"Ay! You are worse than Ale!" Ona states and y/n sighs. "What are you eating?" Ona then asks, trying to get the focus off of Alexia.
"Wagamama." y/n grinned, Milo jumping next to her and curling onto the sofa, his head resting on y/n's thigh.
"Milo." Ona cooed, the cat looking up and letting out a small meow as he blinked at Ona.
"Look, it's mama Milo." y/n says softly, placing her fork down to stroke at the cat's head. Ona smiles softly as Milo meows, Ona chuckling as she moves to get Coco, her own dog who pants excitedly at the sight of Milo.
Despite being and cat and a dog the two pets got on like siblings and y/n couldn't help but smile as Milo purred at the sight of his sibling.
The two facetimed for the rest of the evening, settling into bed a few hours later, both watching each other on their screens, wishing they were face to face instead of watching through a camera.
"What are you thinking about Amor?" Ona asks softly, noticing y/n had gone quiet.
"Quiero contarle a Ale sobre nosotras." y/n said quickly.
I want to tell Ale about us.
"¿Cómo? No no no no no." Ona begins and y/n sighs.
what?
"I know you're afraid." y/n begins. "¡Pero cariño, por favor! No puedo ocultar esto más."
But darling please, I can't hide this anymore.
"But Alexia!" Ona tries.
"I'll talk to her! Explain everything." y/n tries and Ona pauses. "Please Ona, I'm so sick of us hiding." She begs softly.
"Okay. Okay." Ona promises. "Por ti, mi amor, enfrentaré la tormenta Alexia por ti." She nods and a soft smile grows on y/n's face.
For you, my love, I will brave the storm Alexia for you.
"Thank you." y/n whispers. "I love you Ona." She promises and Ona smiles.
"I love you too amor." Ona promises.
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y/n just posted on her story
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y/n smiled softly as she opened Alexia's apartment with her spare key. Now on international break, the Barcelona captain was at home resting before having to go to national camp in three days.
At the sound of her door opening, Alexia stood up, pausing the most recent Barcelona game she was re-watching for notes and faced her door worriedly before her mouth dropped.
"¡Niñera!" Alexia called in shock.
Baby sister
"Hola Ale!" y/n called, pulling her suitcase to a stop as Alexia raced over. The taller girl pulling her into a tight hug which made y/n chuckle as she returned it.
"¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?" Alexia asked. "Ven, siéntate, ¿tienes hambre, sed?" Alexia rapidly questioned making y/n smile as her sister dragged her to the sofa.
What are you doing here? Come sit down, are you hungry, thirsty?
"Estoy bien, vine a ver los partidos de la liga de naciones." y/n explains.
I'm fine, I came to watch the nation league games.
Alexia makes a noise of understanding as she leans over and presses kisses over y/n's face, exclaiming how happy she was to see her and how beautiful she looked.
y/n laughed it off, telling her she was always too flattering to her, Alexia saying it was what an older sister did. The statement wracking y/n with guilt.
"Ale." y/n began. Alexia looking at her with furrowed brows, confused at her sister's shift in tone.
"Are you okay?" Alexia asks softly.
"I'm dating someone." y/n spills out. "And, hemos estado saliendo durante más de un año." y/n admits.
And we've been dating over a year.
"Oh." Alexia says softly, eyes softening as her sister ducks her head, fiddling with her fingers. "It's okay." She promises.
"Even if I hid it?" y/n asks quietly.
"I would like you to explain why for so long and who, but yes it is okay." Alexia promises.
"The who kind of explains the why." y/n admits and Alexia pauses. "Ale." She begins.
"Who?" She asks, though it was far more a demand. She repeats her demand.
"Ona." y/n says ducking her head.
"Hijo de puta." Alexia mutters.
motherfucker
y/n sighed, leaning forward and putting her head in her hands and her shoulders sagged. Her heart felt as if it was pushing into her throat and it made her sick.
y/n and Alexia had been close as children, the three sisters were best friends, and knew each other too well. They told each other everything, to the point where this would be the first time she had ever lied to either sister.
And even though she felt terrible for upsetting her older sister, for betraying her, there was something so relieving about finally admitting it.
Slowly, Alexia reached out and place a hand on y/n's shoulder, her warm and calloused palm so much kinder than what y/n felt she deserved as she looked up.
"No puedo negarlo y decir que no estoy herido, porque lo estoy. Preferiría que me lo hubieras dicho, pero entiendo que no quieras." Alexia begins, her voice soft.
I cannot deny and say I am not hurt, because I am. I would rather you had told me, but I understand you not wanting to.
y/n could have cried as she closed her eyes, feeling so guilty at hurting her sister with something that she couldn't have helped.
"¿La amas?" Alexia asked, her eyes full of understanding and kindness which calmed y/n's heart.
Do you love her?
"Más de lo que creía posible Ale. Ella lo es todo para mí, de verdad." y/n admits to her sister who lets out a sigh at the emotion in her voice.
More than I thought possible Ale. She's everything to me, truly.
Alexia sighed and wrapped her arm around y/n's shoulders, pulling her into her side as she lent her head onto y/n's own one, inhaling the smell of her shampoo.
"Entonces de acuerdo." Alexia sighs softly.
Then okay.
y/n's heart broke at that, how one person could be so good to her was beyond her thought, beyond her idea of humanity, but Alexia had once again, proved her wrong.
"Eres demasiado amable conmigo, eres demasiado amable conmigo." y/n repeats at her sister.
You are too kind to me, you are too kind to me.
"Esto no es bondad, esto es familia." Alexia says to her and y/n sighs.
This is not kindness, this is family.
The girl turns, wrapping her arms around her sister as she pulls herself snugly on-top of Alexia, clinging to her shoulders as she pressed kisses into the woman's hair.
"Thank you Ale." y/n said softly, repeating the words again and again.
"Oh mi pequeña princesa del drama. Eres tan mayor ahora." Alexia said softly.
Oh my little drama princess. You are so grown up now.
y/n said nothing, just continued to cling to Alexia as if she was 6 all over again and Alexia 14. The Barcelona captain couldn't help but enjoy the closeness.
It had been so long since they had hugged like this, the youngest Putellas always so busy, always moving, working and filming.
Eventually the two parted and Alexia sighed tucking a strand of her sister's hair behind her ear as she watched her.
"Do you and Ona plan to tell?" Alexia asks and y/n hums.
"I want to tell your team first, then we can think about everything else." y/n sighs. "Are you mad at her?" She then asks with a wince.
"Oh furious." Alexia nods, a smile on her face to show she wasn't really. "She treats you well?" She then asks and y/n smiles softly.
"She loves me just as I do her." y/n answers and Alexia smiles.
"So she loves you well." Alexia says and y/n nods. "Do you want to see her?" She asks and y/n hums.
"Tomorrow." y/n says before snuggling into her sister's side. "I want to spend the night with you." She says.
"I love that idea." Alexia sighs, pressing a kiss into her sister's hair.
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Tomorrow came far too quick for y/n's liking, before she knew it she was stood at Ona's door, flowers in hand as she waited for the patter of her lover's footsteps to open the door.
"¡Mi amor!" Ona yelled in shock, dragging y/n inside so no prying eyes could see.
y/n's hair was up in a bun, she was wearing a sweet summer dress due to how hot it was outside, however she also had shorts on underneath, because she knew what could happen once Ona knew they were out.
Ona smiled softly, taking the flowers from y/n's hands and placing them on the counter, before jumping at y/n. The woman sighed in relief, bringing Ona's legs around her waist as she wrapped her arms tightly around her.
"Oh my love." y/n said softly, breathing in the sweet scent of Ona's hair.
Ona buried her head into y/n's neck, pressing soft kisses against the skin which had y/n breathing shaking as she walked them to the sofa, sliding her shoes off as she went.
Coco immediately moved over to one of her discarded trainers and stuck his head in it, inhaling which made y/n roll her eyes at the dog fondly.
y/n sat back against the sofa, Ona quickly looking up and greedily connecting their lips, hands scattering around each other's bodies, re-familiarising themselves.
Ona's tongue dipped past y/n's lips, sweeping the inside of her mouth which caused a groan to slip from her. Ona giggled into the kiss, before they pulled away, both breathing deeply as they stared at one another.
Ona was in a white shirt, black shorts, her hair was pulled back and she looked like she had woken up just an hour ago. And to y/n, she had never looked more beautiful.
All their time apart meant these moment, Ona sat on her lap, hands combing over her shoulders lovingly, were all that more precious to y/n.
"How are you here?" Ona asked her softly, leaning forward to cuddle into her chest as y/n wraps her arms around her.
"He venido a ver los partidos." y/n explains softly.
I've come to watch the games.
"I'm so glad you're here." Ona sighs in relief, y/n holding onto her as she sighs.
"I have a confession Ona." y/n says softly and Ona sits up, y/n moving her off her lap and to the side she could face her.
"Amor?" Ona asks, worry flooding her voice.
"Ale knows." y/n says simply. "I told her." She adds.
Ona's face goes through several emotions, relief that this wasn't a break-up, fear of Alexia knowing, realisation that her captain was no aware and hurt that y/n hadn't warned her she would tell Alexia like that.
"Why?" Ona asks sadly.
"Because I want to be with you. In front of her." y/n says strongly and Ona's eyes fill with panic. "It's like we discussed Oni, please." y/n tries.
"Get out." She says softly. "Please go." Ona repeats.
"You said you would fight for me." y/n said softly.
"You didn't give me time to prepare." Ona tells her. "Alexia is my captain, and I am with her little sister, and instead of telling her together, you decided to tell her on you own." Ona continues.
"Because I knew I could keep her calm about us." y/n promises and Ona sighs.
"Please go. I need some time." Ona says softly and y/n blinks away tears before standing up and walking to the door, expecting Ona to call out, stop her. But she doesn't.
And y/n's heart breaks.
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END
Mapi part one will be out in three days ;) xox
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grisou-01 · 1 month ago
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MK1 Earthrealmers x French!Reader
Hello everyone here is a new x reader with the earthrealmers men ! :) So i'm basically french and i thought it would be funny to do a French reader with the mk1 character, I put the traduction to the french setence ( even if most of them are insults lol ) Again English is not my first language so sorry if there are any mistakes :( Let me know of you have any request for the next x reader :)
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Since the day you were recruited as one of the champion you never told anyone where you were from. Not that you were ashamed or anything but you didn't felt the urge of telling everyone that you were not a real American like Johnny for example. You lived in this country for now 3 years so your accent was practicly undetectable for anyone outside french speakers. It was easy for you to hide it since you didn't lived in France anymore.
But there is one thing that could make your "French side" rise again. When you were reallyyyy pissed off or more generaly when you had really strong emotions. To be honest you didn't really knew what made you drop the act : Was it Kung Lao's huge ego? Or perhaps Johnny's constant flirting? Or Bi-Han's stubbornness and coldness? Maybe it was even the humble demeanour of Raiden and Liu Kang? Or maybe it was the constant winning at the spars of Tomas and Kuai Liang and their constant quarrels with Bi-Han? Or is it Kenshi's obession for Sento and his constant fight with Johnny ? You will never know. You thought you were the only one normal here. But what happened during the meal was the straw that broke the camel's back. So you the other champions , Liu Kang and the 3 Lin Kuei brothers were eating after a long day of intense training. It was pretty peacefull , until Johnny started to tease Kenshi about Sento and when Tomas tried to intervene he begin to get scold by Bi-Han for whatever reason, Kuai Liang tried to calm his brother but he began to yell at him too, and then Kung Lao entered in Johnny and Kenshi's fight, Raiden tried to stop him but it only maked them fight even louder. Only Liu Kang remained calm trying to stop both arguments. But it was inneficient. You continued to eat, trying to remain calm, to not just snap at everyone, but hearing everyone yell make it very hard. So after 1 minutes that felt like hour you just yelled without even taking your eyes off your food
"BON QUAND EST CE QUE VOUS ALLEZ TOUS FERMER VOS PUTAINS DE GUEULES ?" [ Trad : SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP? ]
As you Yelled every eyes were now on you. They didn't understood a single word, or maybe Liu Kang since he could basically speak every language after eons of living. But seeing you snap like that was very unexpected. Bi-Han who even when he did not understood a single words didn't liked to be yelled at tried to snap back "Who do you think you are to yell like this ?! I am the Grandmaster of-" During his little speech Your eyes finally looked away from your food and went directly at his direction. And before he could even finish you snapped a second time "J'EN AI RIEN A FOUTRE DE CE QUE TU DIS ! SERIEUX TU TE PRENDS POUR QUI A PARLER COMME CA A TOUT LE MONDE COMME CI ON ETAIT TES CHIENS ?" [Trad : I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU SAY! SERIOUSLY, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TALKING LIKE THAT TO EVERYONE AS IF WE WERE YOUR DOGS?]
And for the first time in a long time. Bi-Han. Didn't answered anything. Well he couldn't because he didn't understood a thing about your speech. And that's when Johnny finally talked "Doll , you didn't told us you were French ?!" He said a bit stunned. You turned to face him and raised an eye brow "It wasn't necessary, so I didn't told you." You muttered. Everyone was pretty much stuned by how quickly you just became calm again. "So you're one of those Oui Oui Baguette-" Johnny said "La baguette je te la fous dans ton cul, serieux Johnny, vas te faire foutre avec tes clichés a la con la !" [Trad : "I'll stick the baguette up your arse, seriously Johnny, fuck off with your stupid clichés!"] You said as you looked at him with a pissed off face. But as you finished to spoke Liu Kang gave you a disappointed look at your talking maner. "Y/N Even if they don't understand you, It doesn't mean you can insult and talk down to them" "Oui oui pardon monsieur" [Trad : yeah yeah sorry sir]
you said as you quickly looked away. Everything was suddenly silent but then Kung Lao who had began to eat again said "How's the food in your country, i heard you had the best gastronomy !" "Well it's not bad our pastries are excellent but i don't know if you'de like frogs ' legs and snail" Kung Lao took a moment and said "Well if you'de like to to do one of this dishes, i can't say i would be bothered" you chuckled sligthly of course the only thing that would come in mind would be the food. "So i'm finally not the only European here" Tomas said with a slight grin on his face, you smirked and nodded amused by his demeanor. Bi-Han continued to give you a look filled with hatred, at least that's what you thinked because deep down he was impressed that someone (even if he didn't comprehend a damn thing) snapped back at him, it wasn't often at all that he was put in his place. And he couldn't say he didn't liked it (But he will never admit it). Kuai Liang, just looked at you with an impressed look, first you stuned his brother to the point that he didn't answered anything and second he had to admit that hearing you talking in French was pretty hot. He had a sly smirk on his face that you didn't missed to see. Raiden and Kenshi looked at each other then at you, Raiden said hesitantly
"How did you manage to hide this ? It's not likes it a big deal you could have told us" a soft smile appeared on your lips as he questionned you "Like i said i didn't felt it was necessary plus it wouldn't have changed anything !" You answered, Raiden gave you and understanding nod, you were right, what would it have changed? But still it was like they didn't knew you ? In fact you didn't talk about you that much ! Raiden thinked as he continued to look at you. Kenshi just looked at you with an understanding look too, like you he was from another country too. So he understood that you didn't felt the urge to tell them about this. "Well you could have at least told your favorite person here Sweetheart !" Johnny said as he winked at you . Amused by his words you just rolled your eyes. Then you just stood up and took your plate to put it to the dishes and said "Well this was very tiring day, i'm going to sleep, Bonne nuit tout le monde !" [Trad : Good night everyone] You waved at them with now a slight french accent as you spoke. You turned back and walked away from the dinning room to go to your room.
Leaving them all still stunned by the event that just happened. Liu Kang had a soft smile on his lips and stood up too before saying goodnight to everyone and walked away too. It was nice that you finally said your little "secret" even if it wasn't a big one. Things would be much simpler now. The champions and the Lin Kuei bros just continued to eat in silence, but everyone had a slight smile on their face. You were an interesting person. To say the least.
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Let me know if you enjoyed it ! :]
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wardenparker · 2 months ago
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Bones Full of Words, ch 7
Javier Peña x plus size reader Co-written with @absurdthirst
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“He pleaded so much that he lost his voice. His bones began to fill with words.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
Javier Peña had no way of knowing for certain the American journalist he sometimes sees sniffing around the embassy for her stories is also getting information about the narcos from the same girls that he is. After Helena is brutalized by sicarios, it is that same journalist who comes to take her away and look after her -- giving Javi reason to pause and reconsider his opinion of the woman he had previously not considered as anything more than eye candy.
He has no idea that once she has walked fully into his life, he will be battling with himself over whether or not he should stop her from walking out it of again.
Rating: M for Mature but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 8.3k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: sex work, time period appropriate sexism, cursing, alcohol, food/eating, talk of weight or size, fatphobia (sometimes internalized and sometimes not), canon typical violence* Fatphobia, internalized fatphobia, self-esteem issues. Flirting, objectification, girl talk. Jealousy. Summary: Elisa needs help from Connie, you have a heart-to-heart with Inez, and Chi-Chi is done with all the humans' bullshit. Notes: The tension rises! Apologies for any errors I might have missed. Ya girl had a hell of a week this week.
Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6
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It wouldn't be another day in Bogotá without something unusual dropping directly into the lives of the Murphys or Javier Peña, but this is out of the ordinary even for them. Connie hustles Elisa down the hallway toward Javi's apartment, explaining that while Steve is already at work, there is a chance Javi isn't yet.
"I just hope he's here," she tells Elisa as she knocks on the door of Javi's apartment.
It's a rare morning that he has the apartment to himself. You had decided to get up early and run some errands before you work on your story. Not even telling him what this next piece is about, you had played things close to the vest. There had been a truce of sorts between you and him, an air of anticipation, as if both of you are waiting for some kind of sign. When someone knocks at the door, he sighs and crushes out his cigarette before getting off the couch and opening the door.
"Well, what have we here?" Javi drawls, looking between the two women when he opens the door.
Connie is too keyed up on the information that Lelisa has just given her to roll her eyes about his greeting. "I'll explain later," she assures him, knowing that Javi will trust her like he would trust Steve. Instead, she looks to Elisa. "I'll be right back. Go." Ushering Elisa inside, she doesn't even wait for the door to close before she takes off to call Steve at the office.
Javi frowns and turns back towards Elisa, wanting someone to tell him something about what the hell is going on. “I take it this isn’t a social call.”
“Not exactly,” Elisa admits, hustling inside when Connie urges her forward and only breathing again when Javi reluctantly shuts the door behind them.
“Fuck.” Javi huffs slightly and motions her farther inside the apartment, happy that you are out for the morning. “Want a drink?”
"Coffee?" It's a little too early for liquor, even for her. "I am sorry to barge in like this."
“Yeah, uh,” he had made an entire pot out of habit, even though you were already gone, so there’s plenty left. “Let me get you a cup. You like creamer? Sugar?”
"Black is fine." Her hands are in the pockets of her scrubs as she looks around the apartment, only to be immediately greeted by the penetrative glare of an enormous dog. It doesn't look dangerous, necessarily, but it doesn't look too happy to see her either.
“Okay.” He pours the cup and turns to hand it to her, watching her warily eye the dog. “That’s Chi Chi.” He tells her. “My- uh, roommate’s dog.” He flusters slightly because he doesn’t know if he should tell this woman your connection to him.
"Oh." Pointing out that she didn't know that Javi had a roommate feels useless since they barely know each other, but Elisa eyes the large dog back before gratefully accepting the coffee cup from Javi's hand. "Um...hi Chi-Chi." It's an attempt, cooing at the dog awkwardly in that high pitched voice that she knows people use with dogs and sometimes cats. She's really not a pet person at all and it probably shows.
The dog watches her for another moment before she hefts herself up off the ground where she had been laying to jump up on the couch and flop back down as if to tell her that she can’t sit there.
"She didn't bark." Elisa sighs in relief. "I'm taking that as a good sign."
He chuckles and doesn’t mention that the dog is basically ignoring her. “Come sit at the table and tell me what is going on.”
"I'm not entirely sure." Elisa admits. She sits down at the table with Javi but her leg begins to bounce with nerves, too jittery to sit still. "I know that Pablo Escobar is planning something with the communist group M-19. I do not know what it is, but I know it will be bad. I told Connie to warn her husband, and asked her to hide me. That is why she brought me to you."
His eyes narrow and he leans forward. “And how do you know what he has planned with M-19?” He demands.
What is the newspapers always say? She purses her lips together and holds the coffee mug between both hands as if she's willing herself to calm down. "A reliable source," she tells him firmly.
“Who is your source?” Javi asks, pressing the point and reaching for his cigarettes. “We can’t help you if we don’t know the information is good.”
Elisa sighs, frowning a little more deeply, and sips the scalding hot coffee. "My ex." She had ended things the second she found out that idiot was making deals with Escobar, so at least it was accurate.
He hums, shaking out a cigarette and offering her one. “What’s his name?”
"Iván Torres." Assuming that a DEA agent involved in things here will know who the members of M-19 are, Elisa knows he will put the pieces together. Realize that she, too, is a member of the group. But the group has changed. Their goals and their loyalties are no longer what she herself was fighting for.
Javi rocks his jaw and stares at her for a moment. If her boyfriend is the leader of M-19. She is involved. “Hell of a joke.” He muses, smirking slightly as he remembers her saying she was a communist.
"I thought it matched a DEA agent joking about being CIA," she admits, though it seems far less amusing now.
“Fair enough.” He knows everyone has their secrets and he’s not as hard to get communists as the Marines stationed at the embassy are. It’s not his place to really care about it. He’s here for the drugs. “Start from the beginning.”
"Last night I went to see Iván after work," Elisa explains, her fingers nervously but soundlessly tapping on the sides of the mug in her hands. "When I went to his house, a man with a gun opened the door. Which is...not unusual, I admit. But I didn't not recognize this one. He demanded to know what I wanted, and I explained that I was Iván's girlfriend. He let me in, but when I walked into the living room, Ivan was sitting on the couch with Escobar."
Javi reaches for the notepad that seems to a constant on the table since you’ve moved in and the pencil beside it. He will need to take notes.
"They shook hands, and said they had a deal," she goes on. "And then Escobar left with his men."
“Anything else? How did he act when Escobar left? What did he say?” He fires off the questions quickly.
"He was not exactly happy." Sipping the coffee simply to have something else to do, Elisa breathes deeply again. "He said that he would not tell me what they were planning unless I agreed to be a part of it, but I cannot do that." Her eyes flick up, finding Javi watching her intently. "He made the deal for money. To fund the revolution the way he wants it. But I joined the fight for the people. Not a drug trafficker."
“Noble.” He snorts, aware that M-19’s kidnappings had resulted in deaths.
"I don't claim to be perfect." Elisa bristles, and rightfully so. "No one is. Nothing can be."
“You’re right, but if your cause needs you to kidnapped people, maybe it’s not the right one.” He points out before he offers her a cigarette. “I’m not judging. You did what you thought was right at the time.”
The slight pause before she accepts the cigarette is time to consider, but she is not here to debate with him. Just to report what happened last night to someone who may be able to help her. "I have heard of the interrogation methods your agents and your friends in Search-Bloc use to get information." She inhales smoke from the cigarette after lighting it and sighs inwardly at the rush of nicotine. At the moment, it is more soothing than anything else. "It is not worth fighting for moral superiority. We can at least agree that Escobar is worse."
He mulls over the comment and concedes. “Do you know when this plan is going down?” He asks.
"Ivan is impatient," she tells him, taking another drag from the cigarette. "It will be soon."
He snorts and wishes that Escobar would be impatient. Impatient men make mistakes. “So what do you want from us?” He asks, coming to the real reason why Elisa is at his door and not going to the Embassy.
It's an uncomfortable question, but she deserves it. Nothing in this world is free. There is a price for everything and hers is crystal clear at this point. "Information in exchange for protection. I have told you what I know, and I have a target on my back now that I witnessed Ivan and Escobar together but refused to cooperate. I need protection."
He knew that was the answer, but he wanted to hear her say it. To see the fear flash in her eyes and know that she understands the danger she has put herself in. “We’ll get you out.” He promises, reaching out and touching her hand.
"Thank you." There is more comfort in the warmth of his hand than she expected. Not just the placation of words, but actual assurance. She believes he will keep his promise. That the upper hand she has given him won't be abused. That she is safe.
“I’m going to need you to go over it again.” Javi tells her softly. “Everything, time of day - where exactly you were, right down to what Escobar was wearing and what the men he was with looked like.” It’s specifics, but that is what is needed.
"I understand." She is also hoping that her cooperation bodes well for what will happen to her afterward. She has willingly put herself in the hands of the American authorities and that will hopefully mean some kind of help for her to keep her out of the hands of Colombian authorities. Or worse, the sicarios.
So she goes through every detail. Working hard to recall every word that was said and everything about the other men who were in the room last night. She even goes so far as to draw a diagram of the room on Javi's notepad with figures marking each person and their name or description. Everything that she can possibly give, she does.
Javi takes notes, meticulously. Cigarette after cigarette is lit and smoked as he goes over the questions again and again, wanting to pull every piece of information out of her as he can. Until he feels like he's gotten everything. "Good." He nods as he looks up at her again. "This is good." Shooting her a smile, he tilts his head. "When you go to America - I wouldn't mention being a communist."
"You'll have to teach me how to talk like an American," she huffs, trying for a laugh but just feeling exhausted.
He knows she’s flirting and he would brush it off, but he’s a little raw from spending so much time with you. He had gone by the brothel the other day and seen you leaving, making him turn around. “Don’t worry.” He promises, shooting her a wink. “You’ll be ready by the time you leave.”
"You are very confident that the ambassador will reward you for my information." And, if she's honest? His confidence is extremely relieving. "I hope you're right."
“We have the upper hand.” Javi admits. “Escobar is escalating in violence and they want him gone.”
"Then I hope you're right even more." She murmurs, knowing that since Escobar has seen her face he surely has learned her name, and that staying here is now mortally dangerous.
“I am.” He’s more confident, but he crushes out his cigarette and stands. “I’ve got to make a call.”
"I'll just...sit tight." Elisa nods and sits back in her seat.
“There’s food in the kitchen.” Javi gestures towards the fridge, knowing that you have stocked it again. “Help yourself.”
She thanks him but doesn't move, watching Javi disappear into the next room while she crosses one leg over the other at the table. The dog has fully dismissed her now and she's sitting alone -- waiting to see what the next step of her future will be.
Javi calls the Embassy and asks to be put through to Steve’s desk. “Fuck, what the hell is your wife doing?” He demands when the phone is picks up and Murphy identifies himself.
"Taking care of a friend." Steve deadpans. He is too busy staring at the small, portable television they keep in the office to pay Javi too much heed at the moment. "Jav," he grunts, inhaling a lung full of nicotine as he watches the live feed on screen. "She called me to tell me about Elisa. I've already told the ambassador."
“And?” Javi asks, hating how he is having to drag information out of Steve right now. “What did she say?” It’s probably a good thing that Steve talked to the ambassador instead of him. She’s still pissed at him about Helena and she might hold that against Elisa.
“Don’t get pissy with me, Peña, I didn’t know any of them.” Steve huffs down the phone, before wiping one hand down the side of his face in aggravation. “Turn on the damn tv. M-19 has already attacked the Palace of Justice. But thanks to her we can link Escobar to it.”
“Goddamn.” Javi hisses and shakes his head, reaching for the remote to the tv in the bedroom. It might be a little excessive to have a tv in here, but he liked watching the news while he gets dressed.
“Keep her safe.” Steve advises, rustling through papers in his desk. He knows he doesn’t have to tell his partner that, but something in him knows that his wife’s friend truly does need the protection.
“She put Escobar in the room with the leader of M-19.” Javi huffs. “She’s going nowhere, but she’s going to cause problems because she’s a communist.”
“Of course she is.” The other man groans in irritated response. “Let’s just keep that part under our hats for now, okay?”
He snorts as he watches the screen. “As much as we can.” He agrees. “Who knows what will happen after this.”
“Don’t come in today.” As much as he hates having to deal with the official shit himself, the place Javi needs to be right now is in his apartment keeping Elisa safe. “Get everything you possibly can out of her. Get that reporter to help you if you have to, but we need everything.” The question of why or how Javier Peña has an American reporter living with him when they’re not fucking — and for all accounts barely like each other — will keep for another day. Today Steve Murphy is just willing to make the most of it.
Javi stiffens, realizing that you will ask questions about why Elisa is here. Now he has to figure out how he’s going to have you living here and the woman he is now tasked with keeping safe. “Yeah. Good idea.” He mutters.
“You okay?” Murphy asks, though the question is absent. He’s watching the small tv in the office again. “Don’t get weird on me now, man.”
Javi snorts and shakes his head. “I’m the weird one?” He demands. “You are living in Colombia and your Spanish is shit, you fucking hillbilly.” He knows the asshole isn’t even paying attention. “Let me know when you hear anything.” He demands and hangs the phone up on him before he can give a half assed answer.
Elisa is still sitting at the table when Javier comes back into the room, legs crossed and nervously picking at her nails.
He rubs his hands on his thighs and sighs. “So, uh, you’re gonna be here until we can get you to the US.” He tells her. “The plan is already rolling. And Escobar will be looking for you.”
A string of curses roll off her tongue but she nods, ultimately sighing in resignation. The hand she waves around his apartment is equally resigned. "Your girlfriend will not like it, I'm sure. But I will keep to myself."
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Javi frowns, the words feeling a little traitorous, but they are the truth. You aren’t his girlfriend. “She sleeps in the other bedroom.” He points out.
"Your...friend..." Instinct tells her the situation is more complicated than he is letting on, but Elisa waves that away for now. "If she is in the other room...where exactly will I be sleeping?"
“Uh—” He hesitates for a moment, knowing that there is another room, but he knows that you’ve started taking it over slowly as an office space when you aren’t working at the kitchen table. For some reason, he’s hesitant to offer it to her without talking to you.
"I don't suppose..." Elisa looks up at him, several weeks of having seen him fleetingly in a small handful of social situations with the Murphys having piqued her interest in him intensely. "You would mind sharing?"
His cock twitches immediately and he lifts a brow at her suggestion. “Moving on from your ex?” He asks with the ghost of a small smirk lifting the edge of his mustache.
"I have been thinking about it." She admits, standing from her chair when his eyebrow raises instead in invitation. "I have been thinking about it since we met at lunch."
“Yeah?” He hums, his eyes dragging up and down her body and he can’t deny that he wants to fuck her. “You don’t have to fuck me to stay here.” He wants to make that clear from the onset. He doesn’t play that kind of shit.
"Of course not." Elisa's head tilts slightly to one side, but she makes no question about returning his gaze. "If I thought you would demand it of me, I would have left already. But, why not find some enjoyment out of an otherwise stressful situation?"
“Cumming is a good way to relax.” He chuckles, smirking in a charming way that you’ve accused him of using to his advantage at times.
"To keep distracted." She agrees with a nod, stepping closer once more. "And pass the time."
“Pass the time, hm?” He reaches out and grabs her waist to drag her closer to him. “Want me to show you the bedroom where you’ll sleep?” He jokes.
"In a minute." Elisa insists, taking that moment and the opportunity it offers, and wraps her arms around Javi's neck to pull him into a kiss.
He doesn’t hesitate, although there’s a thought in the back of his mind as he leans into the movement and presses his lips to hers. He wonders what you are doing right this second.
******
Inez’s new apartment is a walk-up in a part of town that makes you think she might need Chi-Chi more than you do. If the sweet dog hadn’t warmed up to Javier so quickly and thoroughly, you might even be moved to suggest it, but knocking on your friend’s door brings only one thought to the forefront. You can’t wait to hug her and have a good gossip about something other than Javier.
Opening the door requires many locks to be unbolted, but when they are done, she throws the door open happily. “You’re here!” She scoops you up and wraps her arms around you. “I’ve missed seeing you!”
“Hey gorgeous!” You bury yourself in the hug, letting her drag you inside and bundle you up in it, returning the tight squeeze with enthusiasm. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
“You look great.” Inez declares. “How have you been? I heard the club will be opening again soon.”
“Yeah, I heard they found new owners and the remodel will be done soon.” Javier and his partner had been keep close tabs on the building, so you’re better than usually informed about the space. “Are you…going back to working there?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs slightly, trying not to think about the fact that she could have been killed if she was working that night. “The tips were good, but I don’t know if I want to risk it.” She tilts her head. “How’s Alex?”
“You deserve a better place to work than that.” Giving her one more squeeze, you follow her into the small space and plop down on the sofa in her living room with her. There is already a bottle of rum out and glasses, and you groan with delight when she starts to pour. “The other thing, though…I dumped him.”
“Good.” She hadn’t really liked the vibe she got from Alex, but she had never said anything. He had seemed to entertain you and make you happy, so that was all that mattered to her.
“You didn’t like him either, huh?” You huff at her and roll your eyes. “You guys need to say something. Señora Perrín positively danced when she found out.”
“You seemed like you needed the confidence boost.” Inez shrugs and isn’t going to apologize. “Besides if he was amazing, we would be wrong to have talked ill of him.”
“Well, it turns out he was a piece of shit, so he’s not worth wasting breath on anymore.” Raising the glass she hands you, you tap it against hers and savor the friendly sound of clinking glass. “Salud.”
“Damn.” She shakes her head. “I was hoping he was on of the good spooks.”
“I don’t think there’s any such thing.” At least not that you’ve met. And you’ve now met plenty of them. “Chi-Chi sends her love, by the way.”
“I miss that dog.” She laughs, shaking her head. “So where are you staying? Señora Perrín said you had a safe place but she didn’t explain.”
“Yeah, I…” There is no real use in sugar coating it, and your mind is a little fried from chasing down a lead in your next story all damn morning and afternoon. So you just end up shrugging. “Do you remember that guy I went to stay with while Helena was hurt?” You ask, unsure how Inez will react.
“The asshole you couldn’t stand?” She frowns and shakes her head. “What about him?”
“Yeah.” That is what you said, after all. Inez hasn’t been looped in about Javier being your roommate because it’s been so long since you saw her last. “He’s, uh…he’s sort of my roommate now. Or I’m his roommate, I guess you’d say.”
“And you haven’t killed him?” She snorts and looks impressed. “You were not captivated by that guy.” She reminds you. “Honestly? It seemed like you had been interested and he rejected you.”
"Oh we're getting into it early today, huh?" Inez is the friend you can be most honest with, and it's not necessarily surprising that she would be able to cracks these topics open with you. If you had been hoping to avoid the topic of Javier, you are sorely mistaken. "Alright, if we're going to get into this, then what are we having for dinner? Because I'm about to spill my guts to you so I need a full belly for it."
She snorts and grins at you. “I ordered in.” She tells you. “It’s in the kitchen, already. I got Indian.”
"Gorgeous," you groan happily. Samosas and butter chicken and pumpkin curry will make this conversation go much more easily. "I'm sorry it's been so long since we did this, but at least there's plenty to talk about."
“There has been a lot that has changed.” She shrugs slightly, although she has missed sharing some downtime meals with you. Her neighbors aren’t the best. “But now we can spend the evening talking.”
The two of you bustle around her tiny kitchen for a few minutes, bringing take out containers, plates, and forks out to the living room. Once you're sitting again, Inez looks at you expectantly and you blow out a breath. "Okay," you submit, dipping the corner of one samosa in the cilantro sauce that the restaurant sent. "First of all, he is really hot. I'm not going to deny that."
“I have to meet this guy.” She grunts, knowing that you have good taste in attractiveness - despite Alex.
“He’s…” The first bite of food relaxes you a bit, and you pour a little ginger beer into your rum glasses to make a most basic cocktail that will be absolutely delicious with your dinner. “Unfairly pretty. Like Burt Reynolds but sexier. Which I didn’t think was even possible.”
“Burt Reynolds?” She tilts her head and then grins. “Bandit?” She’s seen that movie with you, having found it here dubbed in Spanish and she had really liked it. He was sexy and if your Javier is as sexy as him, then this guy is extremely fuckable.
“Which doesn’t really mean anything. It’s just a fact.” Although you had caught a glimpse of him tugging his shirt over his head on the way out of his room the other day and had to pause to collect yourself.
“I take it you haven’t fucked him?” She asks, lifting a brow.
“No.” That makes you shake your head, willing away the daydreams — and regular dreams — you’ve been starting to have about him. “No. It’s not like that.”
“Wait a minute…” She frowns and stares at her food for a moment before her expression turns contemplative. “Isn’t this the guy you said was responsible for Helena?”
“Admittedly, I jumped to conclusions on that one.” While being protective of your friend is not something you believe at all you ought to apologize for, you most certainly have apologized for thinking that Javier forced her into that situation. You were entirely in the wrong. “I didn’t do my due diligence. It turns out Helena insisted on going into the situation, and Javi had given her advice and direction to navigate it safely. Then…when she got hurt anyway…he got her out as fast as he could and made sure she got to the hospital.”
“Okay, I don’t want to beat his face in now.” She had only heard snippets of the situation and had never really met Helena except in passing. “So he’s a good guy?”
"He's..." A mouthful of curry has you feeling another measure of relaxation, and you shrug one shoulder. "Grumpy. And cranky. And cocky." And despite every less than complimentary word coming out of your mouth, there is an upward curve to one corner of your lips and a barely perceptible softness in your voice. "Yeah. He's a good guy."
“So he’s the exact type of man that you said you despise.” She laughs and takes a bite of her food. “I bet you hate living with him.”
"We're barely ever home at the same time." At least that much is true, and you bury yourself into focusing on your food for a moment. You barely escaped her noticing that you do not, in fact, hate Javier at all. In fact...it's turning into the opposite. "When we are it's fine. But we both work weird hours."
“Well, maybe being roommates with someone who works off hours and keeps to himself is just what you need.” She hums. “Besides, if you trust him, it is a good thing. The neighborhood is far rougher than it used to be.”
"Javi lives near the American embassy," you reveal, knowing that it says a whole lot about his apartment just from the neighborhood that he is in. No part of the city is universally safe, but his spacious, beautiful apartment is definitely in a safer neighborhood.
“Oh God.” Her eyes widen in surprise and she nods, reaching for her drink. “No wonder you leapt at the chance to live there. I would too.”
"And, believe it or not?" This time you go past a small, secret smile and right up to laughing as you fork up another bite of food. "Chi-Chi likes him."
“No fucking way!” She hisses, howling with laughter when you nod. “That dog doesn’t like anyone who doesn’t have a pussy.”
"Just one." You chuckle right along with her. "Just Javier. That's it."
“Fuck.” She marvels at that and picks up her drink to take a sip. “So….” She prompts. “What made you stay with this man?”
"I'm not with him," you clarify, even though Inez already knows that. It just feels like you need to repeat it, although it might be more for yourself than for her. "There was nowhere else. I mean...I had been looking for almost two months. Ultimately the only place I could find that I could afford, was safe, and was okay with Chi-Chi...was the place I was already."
"Then is sounds like it's the perfect place for you." She says wisely. "You will be fine. It sounds like you don't spend much time with him."
“No. I guess not.” And for reasons you are absolutely not prepared to deal with, that deflates you. To the point where you’re now slouching over completely in your seat as you have your dinner. “How is it for you here?” You ask, deflecting the conversation so you don’t think too hard about how you’re starting to actually enjoy the time you spend with your roommate. Your soulmate.
She notices the way you seem to curl in on yourself, but she doesn't press. Instead, she shrugs. "It's alright." She wishes that the raid hadn't ruined the perfect work/life balance for her. "The little bar I'm working in doesn't pay nearly as well as the club, but I'm making it work."
“There’s a place up by me that is looking for more help.” It’s not a lot, but at least it’s something you can offer her. “It’s a more upscale restaurant. I’m not sure what the pay would be like but the tips would be good.”
That could possibly work. She nods. “Yeah, give me their information before you go home tonight.” She asks. “I would like to stop by there.”
“Of course.” It’s a fancy place two blocks down from Javier’s apartment where you’ve seen very well dressed couples go in and out on your walks, and heard it mentioned around the embassy as a place for meetings in the afternoons. It would be safer than any bar she’s working in, in this neighborhood, and definitely better money. “It’s been mentioned around the embassy a bit. So if you end up there make sure you spit in Alex’s drink for me if he ever turns up.”
“Did the bastard cheat?” She would spit in his drink just for shits and giggles but if he cheated on you, she would make him literally shit himself.
“Not that I know of.” Although now that she mentions it, you wouldn’t be surprised. “Turns out he was using me for my living room windows. Trying to stake out the building.”
“Shit.” She hisses. “That fucking bastard.”
"It's my own fault," you shrug. As suspected, the well-made and well-spiced dinner that your friend ordered is softening the harsh blow of the conversation. "I came on to him, remember? That's what I get, I guess. I was feeling good that night."
“Nope.” She shakes her head, frowning fiercely. “You aren’t going to do that. You don’t blame yourself for him being a scumbag.”
"It's done," you tell her, shaking your head again and letting the thought continue on without even pausing to consider what you're saying. "Javi kicked his ass anyway. It's over."
“Wait a minute—” she points her fork at you. “Your roommate kicked Alex’s ass?” She lifts her brows up into her hair they are so high. “Why?”
"Uhhh..." Shit. Shit. Shit. Well, there's no way out of this now. "Apparently Javier overheard Alex talking shit in the embassy men's room and took exception to him insulting me."
“Wow.” She looks suitably impressed. “He is a good guy.” She huffs. “Bring him around one night and I’ll buy him a round.”
"He is." That isn't something you're doing to deny. Especially not after everything he's done for you. "He's like a grumbly old neighborhood dog. The first impression might not always be perfect, but you warm up to him pretty quickly."
“And you would like to warm up to him in bed?” She’s grinning as she asks that question and watching you closely.
"Oh, shut up," you huff, groaning in response.
Cackling in delight when you duck your head in embarrassment, she knows she’s hit the nail on the head. “Ohhhh so you have a big crush.”
"God, it's so much more complicated than that." Another groan comes and you wipe one hand down your face. Rum. You definitely need more rum.
That she doesn’t understand, but she doesn’t push you. “It will work out.” She promises you softly, reaching over and touching your arm sympathetically.
"I honestly don't know." Setting down the rum bottle again, you look up at Inez and sigh. "If I tell you something, will you promise not to freak out?"
“Sure, you know you can tell me anything.” She promises, wondering if you’ve somehow done a background check on him or stalked his ex’s to find out his type.
"The thing is..." You have to give yourself a moment to breathe, and set down your plate on the coffee table to hold your drink in both hands like it's somehow centering you and not just an anchor for all the chaos you've been feeling lately. "We found out that..." Out with it. Just say it. Say it out loud, it's not that scary. It's just a fact and nothing more. "Javier and I are...we're soulmates..."
Inez freezes, shocked and her immediate instinct is to squeal in happiness for you, but she senses that’s not the right move. “And…how do you feel about that?” She breathes out softly.
"Real answer, or kneejerk answer?" You ask, even though you know immediately what she'll say.
“Of course I want to know how you really feel.” She rolls her eyes and smiles at you. “Whatever it is.”
"I feel really fucking confused." It's the truth that you can't even say out loud to the girls, knowing how Freckles and Helena and Vanessa absolutely adore Javier. You need that impartial third party. The person who only knows you and how you're reacting and how unusual this conflict is for you. Someone who doesn't know Javier from a hole in the wall and only cares about your side of the story.
"Because on paper he's...he's kind of perfect. Handsome, charming, smart, totally dry sense of humor. We even like most of the same movies and a lot of the same food. But in reality? Something just isn't clicking, and I don't know what or why."
“Too different?” Inez asks, certain that it has to be something small that you might feel is insurmountable. Like a mountain out of a mole hill situation.
"We're so similar." The opposite of that problem, in fact, which you had always heard tauted as one of the benefits of soulmate relationships. "We' both stubborn and headstrong and...if I'm being completely honest? The biggest difference is that he could have literally anyone he wanted. Despite what the girls say it seems like an insult from the universe that he got stuck with me."
“Does he think it’s an insult?” That title for good guy is hanging by a precarious thread if he feels slighted that his soulmate isn’t some rail thin model. You aren’t as fat as you think you are, or imagine how you look to others. Your self-image is negative and you will always see the worst in yourself even if you champion for others.
This is the sort of challenge from your most honest and most outspoken friend that you don't like very much, because it forces you to admit that your perspective of the situation is skewed. "He says, and the girls say...that he prefers...a fuller figure. But I've never seen him go near anyone my size before. I mean...we've slept with some of the same women. And I adore those girls but they are half my size."
“He pays them?” She asks. “Same as you do?” You nod and she tilts her head. “How many ‘fuller figured’ girls do the sicarios visit?” She even uses air quotes for the annoyed tone that is tacked onto your description of your body type.
"None that I know of," you reason without hesitation. "Because it's not the most common standard of beauty."
“So they would not have the information he was looking for.” She points out. “And it’s not like he can go around fucking everyone and letting his guard down around them.”
"I don't know that there's more than one person in Colombia he's ever let his guard down around." As far as you know, the answer is one single person. Only one. "Just Helena. And she's...as best as I can tell, she's completely in love with him."
“She has to know that you are soulmates.” Her eyes widen again, this time sympathetically for the other woman. “But what does he feel for her?”
"The girls are the ones who told me." The fact that they knew for so long and said nothing is still a sticking point for you, but you understand now why they kept it to themselves. If you're this conflicted now there's no way it would have been any better then. "And, I mean, they're...they're friends. It's unrequited, if that's what you're asking. And she knows that. Which sucks for her, honestly. It sucks to have feelings for someone who doesn't return them."
“So he doesn’t love her, he’s defended you against your asshole ex, he likes bigger girls, but you think it’s unfair that you are his soulmate?” She ticks off the list rationally.
"Oh come on, don't do that." Boiling it down to bullet point facts has you sinking down in your seat again and taking a long sip of your drink. "The number of times a day I think about that man has skyrocketed every single week. It's basically exponential at this point. And if I let myself think about him freely it's just..." You groan, knocking back the end of your second drink and digging the heels of your hands into your eyelids like you're trying to banish a mental image and can't quite get to your mind's eye. "I'm going to end up with feelings for him and that won't end well."
“And that scares you.” Inez had heard your stance on soulmates more than once and she understands why now what caused you to be so wary of the soulmate connection. It’s as if you were sabotaging yourself.
With another sigh, you swallow back the emotion threatening to cut through your voice. The truth of it. The honesty. "Absolutely fucking terrifies me to my core."
“You poor thing.” She sighs and shakes her head. “You just keep your head down and focus on your stories for now.” She advises. “Your moment of clarity will come.”
"You're lucky," you decide, letting out another shaky breath. "I'd give anything to go back to not having any clue who my soulmate was."
“No, you wouldn’t.” She promises, smiling sadly as she looks down at the small, crescent shaped scar on her forearm. “It’s just as terrifying to think that you might never meet them. Or that they could die before you do and then you will be left with the aching sense of loss for someone you’ve never even met. No where to go to mourn, you don’t even know their name.” She shakes her head. “I’m happy for you. Even if you are never more than roommates.”
"Fine." Annoyingly, she's right. Inez knows you better than you know yourself more often than not, and right now there is an eerie sense of how correct she really is that settles over you. Would you be happier never knowing the rancher's son from the borderlands of Texas? No. You wouldn't. You would still be secretly dreaming of whoever it was out there that shared your marks and half of your soul. But knowing and being too scared to reach for him is a different kind of torture. "Then I wish I wasn't so scarred by my past and my self-image and that I could actually have some kind of hope without it being weighed down by fear."
She sighs softly, aware that no amount of arguing or pep talks will convince you that you deserve this chance. “Maybe that will come in time.”
"Maybe." And then again? Maybe not. Right now you feel too far out in the ocean for even that anchor on your ankle to do any good.
Hope. An ironic motto from your home, when you feel like there is absolutely none at all.
******
Water. Elisa slips out of the bed and reaches for the shirt that is heaped on the floor. Slipping into it and only buttoning one of the buttons as she creeps out of the room. Javi is asleep, curled around a pillow after he had let go of her and she smirks slightly at the ache between her thighs. He’s obviously been pent up and it had been animalistic and needy. Just what she craved right now with her future so uncertain.
The front door of the apartment opens quietly. You had gotten a little too tipsy at Inez's place and stayed until you were sober enough to drive home safely. Now you creep in at the late hour just in case Javier has fallen asleep on the couch like he sometimes does. The man gets little enough sleep as it is, he doesn't need you waking him up.
It isn't the sleep form of your roommate guarded dutifully by an enormous but loving dog that greets you, though. It's a very surprised woman fully naked except for the shirt that is barely holding on to her trim frame.
Javier's shirt.
Chi-Chi's low growl pointed in her direction could not be a better echo for the breaking of your heart in this moment.
“Oh.” Elisa has assumed that Javi’s roommate had come home sometime during the hours that he had spent making her see stars. They hadn’t been exactly quietly and she had thought she just must not have heard the door. It was why she was trying to be so quiet when she came to get water. “I’m sorry, I thought—” she shakes her head, knowing that it doesn’t matter what she thinks. “Elisa.” She introduces herself and quickly sets down the glass to start buttoning up the shirt more. You have to be used to this if Javier is your roommate.
“I—” Panic rises in your throat, strangling whatever other words you were about to say. After spending the entire night pouring your heart out to Inez and coming around to the realization that you really are starting to feel things for Javier…you come home to this.
“Excuse me.” Fleeing past her to the room that you have shared with Chi-Chi every day since the raid, you pull the door shut behind you and turn the lock. Barely getting yourself inside before the tears start to fall.
Elisa stares after you for a moment, surprised by the unhappy heartbreak that she had seen on your face before you rushed off. It’s obvious that you have some sort of feelings for your roommate and she wonders if he knows that. She refills the glass, not wanting to run into you again, and makes her way back to the bedroom she is sharing with Javi.
******
When morning comes you stay glued to your bed. The melancholy and self-berating disappointment is still too strong to face the day, and you had planned to do some more recon tonight rather than this morning anyway. The smell of coffee is even more taunting, as you are more than certain that that woman is out there drinking it with him instead of you.
He doesn’t owe you anything. You’re not together and you never pretended to be. But still you’re so jealous that it’s nearly dissolving you into a depressive episode.
When Elisa has come back into the bedroom, Javi had woken up again. He had briefly woken up when she slipped out of the bed, but he had sat up when she had closed the door again. Only to not sleep the rest of the night when she had told him that he had met you.
Now waiting for you to come out into the kitchen so he can explain. His stomach clenching with guilt and annoyance at that guilt.
“Don’t look at me like that.” You mumble at Chi-Chi. The dog will need to be walked soon but you’re probably a bad person for wanting to put it off as long as possible. Just to prevent having to go out there and face the day.
Javi checks his watch as he blows out a sigh. Soon he’s going to have to leave and he really doesn’t want to leave Elisa here without talking to you. He twitches slightly and shakes out his arms as he walks down the hall to your door and taps on it gently.
The sound cuts through the thick silence of your room too sharply, making you frown but you ignore it. If it’s that woman you don’t want to face her, and if it’s him? Well…that might be worse.
He doesn’t hear you and he frowns as he taps on the door again, saying your name. He needs to talk to you.
“Fuuuuck…” The soft groan is more for yourself than anything else, and after about six seconds of debate you drag yourself out of bed and wrap an oversized sweater around yourself to cover up the thin tank top and shorts you usually sleep in. Six more seconds of steeling yourself are necessary before you pull open the door just enough to see him standing there looking carved from marble levels of gorgeous. “Morning,” you manage to mumble. It is certainly not a good one so you won’t claim it to be.
You must be hung over. The look on your face and the way you seem to wince when you see him. He should have brought you a cup of coffee. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“No.” But you still avoid the bright light from the living room behind him or having to look him in the face by casting your eyes down at the floor. “Going to work?” You guess.
“Yeah—” he pauses and feels awkward. “Look, there’s a witness in my room.” Javi blows out, keeping his voice low. “I know you might want to interview her, but I need you to hold any story, okay?” He asks, hoping you will do him this favor. “Can you keep an eye on her for me?”
“Babysit your new girlfriend.” It comes out of your mouth bitingly, much more harshly than you meant it to sound but honest nonetheless. The fact that he would even think to ask you to do that is as heartbreaking as it is cruel. “Sure. Fine. Got it. Although I can promise you I won’t be interviewing her. Anything else?”
His eyes widen and he chokes out your name, the guilt cascading over him again. “She can tie M-19 to Escobar.” He hisses quietly, shuffling closer to you. “They attacked the Palace of Justice yesterday.”
“I genuinely don’t care.” Your own guilt is what pushes that sentence out of your mouth, and you take a step back from him to avoid being too close — which Chi-Chi takes as an invitation as she slips off of your bed and out into the hall. Professional you cares very much that this woman has such important information. But professional you is not in charge right now. “If she needs to be guarded, then don’t work late tonight, okay? I have a lead I’m following after dark.”
“You don’t need to be out too late.” The caution comes out automatically and he frowns when you back up from him. You’re soft and smell like sleep and whatever perfume you had worn, making his cock twitch in his pants as he realizes you have little under that sweater.
“Just gives you more time to fuck your informant,” you snap back, irritated that he would feel so entitled as to tell you how to do your job. “Anything else?” Tacking sir onto the end of it is just on the tip of your tongue, but for all you know he likes that. So you don’t.
He swallows harshly at the venom in your voice. “No.” He steps back and feels the sharp sting of rejection that doesn’t sit well. “There’s coffee in the kitchen.” He offers before he turns around.
His only answer is the slam of your bedroom door. It won’t open again while he’s still home. Once he’s left you’ll take the dog for a walk and do your best to avoid the woman he’s left behind in your shared space while simultaneously not speaking to her at all if you can possibly help it.
Javi almost wakes Elisa up to tell her to just stay in his room, but he doesn’t. Pausing in the hallway for a second and wondering why the hell you are so angry. You had agreed that there wasn’t going to be anything happening between the two of you, why are you acting like he’s cheating on you?
______
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ihave-atummyache · 8 months ago
Text
do u like chase atlantic?
Stray Kids Imagine
OT8
summary: chase atlantic x skz
NSFW!!! drugs, alcohol, sex, toxicity
trigger warnings: abuse of drugs a little bit, use of recreational drugs but not much emphasis on exactly what drug.
angsty, fluffy, toxic, some sweetness
6.8k words
(u don’t have to know the song to understand the story)
Bang Chan- OHMAMI
Call Maria, lets get drunk
I haven't been out for a month
Got a two-liter in the back and another bottle in the trunk
Columbian gold in the front seat
The foreign girls showing me love
Telling your friends that you hate me
But I know that you can't get enough
"Come on, Chris. You haven't went out with us in weeks! We're in America, for Christ's sake. We're destined to have a good time," Felix whines at the foot of Chan's bed. He glances up at Felix from his computer than back down. The use of the name “Chris” definitely catches his attention.
"If I go out, will you leave me alone all day tomorrow so I can get this done?" he raises his eyebrows at his younger friend who rolls his eyes in response.
"Yes… Well, probably not. But Scout's honor," he holds up three fingers before continuing, "I will try by best," he smiles and Chan can't help but to laugh.
"America is rubbing off on you. Fine. Let me get ready," Chan closes the laptop and Felix bounds out of the room, excited to tell Han and Hyunjin that he finally got Chan to come out.
What he wasn't expecting when he walked into the club, was seeing you. A familiar face but on a stranger. The same girl he had been practically obsessed with for the entire American leg of their last tour.
You were different though. Expensive jewelry hung from your neck and adorned your delicate wrists and fingers. What have you been doing since he last saw you? What had you been doing for the last year since you two parted ways.
He know it was no more than a hookup that he had gotten unreasonably close to but still, you had a hold on him that was unexplainable. He dragged you on the tour with them for the duration of the rest of the American portion then, he practically ghosted you.
"Y/n?" His voice fills your ears, his accent thick with every letter of your name. You snap your head towards him, your eyes locking with his. Before you can reply, however, a girl steps in front of him, drawing his attention from you for just long enough for you to slide off the bar stool and disappear into the dancing crowd.
"Why the fuck is he here?" You speak to yourself and an arm is slung over your shoulder, stopping you from taking anymore steps. You turn your head and meet eyes with the guy you came here with.
"Where are you going?" he questions, a slight slur in his voice. After seeing Chan, this guy suddenly seems far less appealing. He doesn’t have the sexy accent or the kind eyes. Hell, his body isn’t even half as godly as Chan’s.
"This asshole I haven't seen in a year just happened to be at this bar. I can't stand him. Just seeing him makes me wanna hurl," you grumble and run your hand through your hair before turning to your date.
"Wanna dance?" You question but before he can reply, someone has their hand wrapped around your wrist and is pulling you to the edge of the crowd. You look down and recognize the cuban link bracelet instantly. Chan.
You let him pull you until you're outside of the club then you finally snatch your wrist from his grip. You bring it up to your chest, rubbing slightly at the dull string.
"What the hell? I'm literally here on a date! What could you possibly want?" you exclaim and he takes a deep breath before turning to face you.
"Why did you run from me?" His voice is gentle, it almost has an undertone of guilt in it. Good. He should be guilty.
"Fuck you, Christopher. You fucked my head up. You fucked my heart up and you fucked me up. I'll never be the same because of you," you spit at him and take a step towards him, closing the space.
"Y/n. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"Oh, please, shut the hell up. It's too late," you growl at him and turn towards the parking deck where your car is. Honestly, just him being here was enough to ruin your night and you wanted nothing more than to just go home.
"Y/n, wait. Baby, please. Can we just talk about it?"
"There's nothing to talk about, Chris. I hate you. I'm sure you know that by now. Seeing as the amount of my friends that you reached out to while trying to contact me," you reach your car quickly, luckily you parked on the first level.
Chan freezes when he sees your car. Ferrari? Since when have you been able to afford this? He approaches the other side of the car at the same time you unlock it and pulls the door open.
His eyes practically fall from his head when he sees what's sitting in the front seat of the car. Was that... drugs? Had you been selling drugs?
The expensive jewelry, the expensive car, the suspicious and sleazy looking man you were with.
"Are you a drug dealer? What the fuck?" His voice is much louder than it should be and you quickly get into the driver side of the car.
"Shut up, you idiot. You want to call the police and tell them about it too? Fuck off," you snap at him and reach across the car, pulling the door closed and locking them before pulling out the parking spot and leaving him in the vacant place.
Did he really fuck you up this bad?
Lee Know- Church
And I'll keep leading you on
If you keep leading me into your room
The drinks are all gone
But that's fine, baby, so am I
I'm about to take you back to church
Well, tell me your confessions, baby, what's the worst? Yeah
Baptise in your thighs 'til it hurts
'Cause I'm about to take you back to church
I'll keep you up until the sunset
Speaking in tongues, yeah, we ain't done yet, yeah
"Y/n, you sound like an idiot. He's a dog. You're being just as naïve as all the other girls he has led on!" You friend exclaims and you turn away from her to glance down at your phone again.
minho: can I come over?
You let out a sigh. Maybe she's right. Maybe it was just because of the amount of wine you had been drinking but you suddenly found the confidence to just leave him on read.
"I just feel like I need him so bad. I can't explain it but... I don't know. Maybe I am an idiot," you trail off and drop back on the bed, the half empty bottle of wine tight in your grip.
"He's just no good. You need to give him a taste of his own medicine! He's toxic! He want you at his every beck and call and you always reply. Maybe if you just-" she gets cut off when your phone starts ringing loudly between the two of you.
You grab your phone from the bed and pull it up to your face before letting out a groan. You slide the phone and press answer, putting it on speaker phone.
"Come open the door," Minho's deep voice echoes out of the phone's speaker before you can say a word and you peak over at your best friend, who is just as confused as you.
"Minho I didn't say you could come over," you reply and he scoffs on the other side of the line, obviously annoyed with your lack of cooperation.
"Baby, I've been drinking. Just let me in so I don't have to drive drunk. I'll sober up and leave. I'm already here and my place is too far. Plus, I can't find a ride right now," You groan and sit up in the bed. When you throw your legs over the side and stand, you feel much more warm and fuzzy than you did when you were laying down.
"Lucky for you, it appears I'm a bit buzzed too," You grumble out and then hang up the phone.
"Don't seriously tell me you're letting that asshole in our house," your best friend complains from beside you and you let out a laugh at her face.
"Okay. This is the last time. I'm seriously done after this. I just need to get his magic mouth and fingers and co-"
"Okay! Stop. I don't need the visual right now. Just get to the point," your best friend cuts you off and you chuckle, walking towards the front door and she follows you.
"It's gonna be like goodbye sex. It's just so good..." you trail off and then exhale deeply before pulling your front door open. You hear your best friend mumble something along the lines of “all this to get your dick wet” behind you, but you don’t comment on her statement. Minho looks heavenly, leaning on the wall across from your apartment door and chewing on what looks like a straw from the bar.
"Hi," you breathe out and he pushes off the wall to walk towards you. You move to the side to let him in and he slings and arm over your shoulder before eyeing your best friend.
"Hey," the smug smirk on his face is enough to make you roll your eyes and she narrows her eyes at him. They aren't too fond of each other and both know it.
"Oh fuck off, Minho and fuck you," she spits at him and he chuckles. You start guiding him towards your room and he looks at your best friend again with that cocky smirk.
"The only one getting fucked tonight is y/n," he replies, wiggling his eyebrows at her.
"Minho!" You object before pushing him into your room and slamming the door behind you. He really is shitty and you know it but God, the things he can do with his body and the way he looks is just heavenly.
He walks to your bed before plopping down and laying back. You slowly approach the bed and he glances over at you.
"Sit on my face, princess. I've been thinking about your pussy on my tongue all night. I need your thighs on either side of my head while I drown in you," he says it so nonchalantly, letting out a sigh but you just stare at him for a moment before he glances back at you.
"Come on, baby. I know you want to leave me. Let me prove to you how I can worship this body like no other man will be able to. Let me make you want to stay," he's practically begging which is very uncharacteristic of him and you approach him slowly. He sits up when you reach him and reaches towards you, pulling your shorts down your legs.
He gently kisses up your thigh before planting two more on either one of your hip bones. He grips your hips, his thumbs rubbing over the same spot his lips just were. He begins to fall back again, pulling you with him until he has pulled you over his face.
"The only thing I want you to remember is my name. If that means making you cum over and over until the sun comes up, then that's what I'll do," his voice is low and he suddenly pulls you down, his warm mouth making contact with your pussy that he has been craving all night.
Changbin- Friends
And what the hell were we?
Tell me we weren't just friends
This doesn't make much sense, no
But I'm not hurt, I'm tense....
"Binnie? are you home?" Your voice cracks over the phone and Chnagbin immediately sits up in the chair at your tone.
"I'm at the studio. What's going on? Are you alright?" His voice is full of concern and you feel more tears well up behind your eyes.
"Even closer. Is it okay if I come see you? Just for a little bit. I..." you trail off, taking a deep breath, "I have had a bad night and I just want to see you," your voice softens and he feels a small smile make its way to his face.
"Of course. I'll meet you in the lobby," he confirms and stands from his chair to make his way down to where he knows you're walking in. It'll be easier for him to guide you in personally since you don't have a visitor pass.
When the elevator dings, your head immediately snaps towards the sound. Changbin walks off the elevator, looking the epitome of relaxed and sexy. You gulp as you let your eyes drag down the shirt around his buff arms.
"Have you been crying?" His voice echos in your head as he closes the gap between you two. You reach up and gently touch your cheek. You find dry residue, obvious evidence of tears. When had you cried? You know you wanted to but you didn’t realize that you actually had.
"I guess I have been," you reply, your voice completely deflated and he wraps his arms around your shoulders tightly. You don't have the energy to hug him back and instead let out a sigh, allowing your head to fall into his neck.
You close your eyes and take a deep inhale. His scent instantly invades your senses and relaxes you. You have been best friends for years and sometimes just being with him is enough to calm you.
"Come on," he wraps an arm around your shoulders and guides you to the elevator. The entire ride is silent. You were completely caught in your head by your own thoughts. You barely even notice when you're gently guided to sit on the couch. Changbin sits beside you and grabs your hands in your lap, making you turn to face him.
He closes the few inches in front of you and presses his lips to yours. You sigh into the familiarity of the kiss and let your hands squeeze his tighter.
"Y/n, what happened? You can tell me," he whispers, carefully choosing his words in case you start crying again.
"Do you think I'm a slut?" you ask suddenly and he immediately drops his eyebrows to a furrow, shaking his head.
"What are you…" he cuts himself off and you run your hand through your hair messily, letting out a low cuss under your breath as more angry tears spring to your eyes.
"I was on a date and this guy... fuck! And this guy tried to kiss me. I swerved it and he went off on me. Telling me about how he only asked me on a date for some ass. Claiming that I fucked his friend last week and- why are you looking at me like that?" You interrupt yourself when you notice how tense Changbin has become.
"You fucked someone else? You went on a date?" Changbin questions, suddenly becoming much more angry than he was before he said the words out loud.
"Yes? Why wouldn't I?" He snatches his hands from yours and stands, walking towards his desk and leaning over it. He slams his fist down, making a few pencils drop to the ground and making you jump from your spot behind him.
"Binnie, are you-"
"Don't." He whips his body around to face you, pointing an accusatory finger at you, "Don't fucking call me that. What the fuck, y/n? We have been fucking each other for months. How many other people were you fucking?" His voice is suddenly loud and you're sure it would be echoing throughout the hallway if you weren't in the studio.
"Wait... Changbin. We're best friends. It isn't supposed to be exclusi-"
"Best friends.” he scoffs before continuing, “Maybe you are a slut. One cock isn't enough for you that you had to go let yourself be fucked by however many other people?" His words are laced with venom and you blink at him a few times before standing up and grabbing your bag.
"Fuck you, Changbin." You spit out before storming from the room.
Hyunjin- HEAVEN AND BACK
She's high
She lives in the sky
Tonight, she's satisfied
Rolling back her eyes
But then she starts to cry
Everything is turning to black
All in one night
She just went to heaven and back
"Fuck, Jinnie. Don't stop," you moan out, pushing your friend(?) and his heavenly tongue deeper between your legs. His tongue had been ravishing for what felt like hours but also felt so good, like nothing you have ever felt before. Although it felt like hours, it had only been a few minutes.
His licks a long stripe up your sopping cunt before kissing up your body and stops at your nipples, taking one into his mouth and using his fingers to play with the other.
"N-no more teasing. Just fuck me already. Please?" you whimper out and he chuckles pushing back onto his heels and lining himself up with your entrance. His slowly pushes in, causing you both to let out a groan at the feeling.
"Fuck, darling. You feel so fucking good wrapped around me," he groans out, his head falling back in pure pleasure and absolute ecstasy. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he slowly picks up the pace.
Suddenly, he bottoms out and you yelp, immediately beginning to shake at the feeling. It was borderline painful but you also felt so full and it’s felt so good.
"Yeah. You like that, don't you?" he asks again and you nod mindlessly, already feeling like you've reached the clouds. Hyunjin feels like he could die a happy man, completely content being balls deep in your perfect cunt, made just for him.
He drops to his elbows on either side of your head and you instinctively wrap your own arms around his neck. He grabs your chin and gently pulls your face towards him, making your eyes pop open. His eyes meet yours and then he suddenly stops, complete silence falling in the air.
"Are you high?" he suddenly asks and you blink at him a few time, opening your mouth to reply but he sits up, falling back onto his heels and pulling out of you. You shiver at the loss of warmth and sit up on your elbows to look at him.
"Hyunjin, it isn't-"
"Don't tell me it isn't what I think. I see you more fucked up than sober nowadays, fuck. Do you not see that you have a fucking problem? I ask you to be sober for one fucking night and you can't even do it. This is pitiful, y/n," his voice is full of anger and you don't even think he notices the way he's switching between languages, making your brain spin.
"Baby, pick a language. I can't follow what you're saying," you sit up and reach forward to cup his cheek but he pulls away from your touch, stands, and pulls his pants up his legs then his hoodie over his head.
You feel the tears immediately come to your eyes and start to pour down your cheeks. You don’t even really know why you’re crying. Maybe it’s because this moment between the two of you got ruined or maybe it’s because you can tell how pissed he is at you.
"Baby what are you-"
" 'Baby, this. Baby, that'. Just stop talking. Stop. Fucking. Talking," His voice raises and more tears pour from your eyes. You hurriedly grab the t shirt you were wearing from the floor, which happens to be his, and pull it over your head.
"I don't understand why you're so mad. This doesn't have anything to do with you! It doesn't effect you," your voice is slightly shaky but you finish the sentence nonetheless, making him scoff and run his hands down his face.
"Because I fucking love you. I love you more than anything and I want you to love yourself even half as much as I do," his voice is quieter again and you bring your face down to your hands as the tears keep pouring from your eyes.
"Why are you crying?" His voice breaks you from your quiet sobs and you look up. He's already looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Are you leaving me?" you ask quietly and he sighs, looking at the door then back at you again.
"We aren't together. How could I leave someone I never had in the first place," he walks towards you and tilts your chin up. He uses his sleeves to wipe the tears from your soaked cheeks and you just look up at him, eyes bloodshot and dilated.
"I'm so disappointed in you, angel. I thought I meant more to you than your substances but it seems I can't compete," a sad smile covers his face and he exhales gently before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You quickly reach out and wrap your arms around his waist.
"You do, Jinnie. I'm okay. I promise. I can stop when I want," you swear to him but he doesn't reply. He grabs both of your arms from behind his back and pries you off of him before taking a few steps back.
"I'll wait for you, y/n. In the future, when you love yourself, come find me," he replies before turning and walking towards the door. You quickly throw yourself from the bed and chase after him.
"Hyunjin! Wait! I-I-" you're interrupted by your front door slamming shut in front of your face.
Han- Meddle About
Cause it's not just a figure of speech
You got me down on my knees
It's getting harder to breathe out
We only met each other just the other day
But you already got me feeling some type of way
Now if I could figure it out
I'd take you back to my house
So we could meddle about
Jisung's breath hitches in his throat when he sees you at the bar. His heart immediately starts pounding in his chest and he turns away, locking eyes with Chan next to him.
"That's her. She's right there at the bar, hyung. What do I do?" Jisung feels like his heart might actually leap out of his chest. Chan glances over at the bar but he can't figure out exactly who Jisung is talking about.
"Leather skirt. Mesh shirt," Jisung whispers to Chan, still not turning to look at you. Chan can't stop the chuckle from falling from his lips.
"You really are down bad. You looked at her for a total of 3 seconds and know exactly what she has on. Any other details you noticed?" he teases and nudges Jisung but he's too thrown off to realize Chan is joking.
"Red lipstick, red hair clip," he adds on and Chan's mouth drops open. He's never seen his friend so infatuated over a girl in all their years of knowing each other. What had you done to him?
"Would it freak you out if I said she's heading this way or would that be a good thing?" Chan leans over to whisper to his friend. Jisung's eyes grow wide but before he can reply, your honey voice rips through the music at the club.
"Hi, Jisung. It's good to see you," your voice went straight to his cock and he can't help remembering all the filthy things you had said to him the other night. The things you were whispering in his ear while he was balls deep in you.
"H-Hi. How are you?" He clears his throat and you giggle, sitting yourself down next to him as your friend sits on the other side of Chan, making a friend of her own to give you and Jisung a bit more privacy.
"I've been thinking about you," he suddenly blurts out and instantly regrets it when your perfect eyebrows shoot up in surprise but the look is instantly replaced with a smug smirk.
He's so fucking cute.
"Oh? What have you been thinking about?" you inquire and wrap your lips around your straw. Jisung can't stop himself of looking. He remembers the way those same lips were wrapped around him. The way he was down your throat. The way your perfectly manicured hands were rubbing him in a way in which nobody had, not even himself.
He gulps deeply and glances at your eyes again. Your’s are already trained on his. His big, sparkly, chocolate, doe eyes had you in a chokehold like no other. You wanted nothing more than to bring him to tears again and he wanted nothing more than for you to bring him to tears again.
"Everything. You've invaded my mind," he suddenly confesses, a bit of a dazed look in his eyes. You let out a light chuckle as you lean over, placing your glass on the table. Jisung's eyes trail over your back and then he finally eyes your legs, stunning thighs and calves. He wants to worship you so badly, show you exactly how you should be treated.
"Oh really? Does it bother you that I've invaded your mind?" you ask, sweetly before resting your hand on his knee. You turn towards him and rest your other arm on the back of the couch, letting your head fall into your hand. You look almost bored, not entertained by Jisung in the slightest but you know that the slick in your panties was an indicator of just how much this boy had also invaded your mind.
He gulps again and adjusts in his seat. You let your hand fall from your head and reach forward, gently playing with the longer hair at the base of his skull.
"As pretty as you are, my Jisungie, I asked you a question," you speak up and let your hand gently trail up the back of his head until your fingers dig into his head and you tug on his hair, rough enough that it definitely hurt but not rough enough for anyone to notice.
"Do you like that I have invaded your mind, my pretty boy?" you ask again and scoot closer, placing a wet kiss to his throat. You pull away and the slight red residue from your lipstick makes you smile to yourself.
"Yes. I like it," he replies and you look up into his glazed over eyes again before releasing your grip slightly in his hair and your other hand makes it's way up his thigh more before brushing lightly against his bulge. His takes a sharp inhale of breath and you chuckle.
"Yes, what?"
"Yes, mommy," his reply is instant and almost pathetic. Gosh, you want nothing more than to just have him on his knees for you again, begging to eat your pussy.
Felix- Consume
She said, "Careful, or you'll lose it"
But girl, I'm only human
And I know there's a blade where your heart is
And you know how to use it
And you can take my flesh if you want, girl
Felix knows she isn’t his. That doesn’t stop him from feeling green (GREENGREEN lol) with jealousy. Seeing you wrapped around someone else, your tongue down some strangers throat that he has never seen before.
“Lix, calm down,” Hyunjin’s voice sounds from behind him but Felix doesn’t even pay the man a glance.
“It’s not fair. She’s mine,” Felix groans out and Hyunjin pats him on the back before looking over to Minho with a ‘help me’ look in his eyes. Minho clears his throat before leaning towards the pair so they can hear him over the party’s music.
“If she’s your’s, then why are his hands all over her ass?” Minho’s voice is casual and Hyunjin swears he could have slapped him in that moment.
“You dumbass! That isn’t what he needs to hear!” Hyunjin practically yells but after at his older friend, though it’s all background noise to Felix. He stands abruptly and marches over to you. He puts his hands in the back of your jeans and pulls you away from the man who is standing dazed by your lips.
“Piss off, mate,” Felix’s voice is full of anger and jealousy and the man blinks at him once before scurrying away. You let your body lay back slightly, resting against Felix’s chest. His hand instinctively wraps around your waist and his hand splays possessively across ur stomach.
“Lixie. I’ve missed you,” as soon as your voice makes it’s way to his ears, he feels like he could melt into you. You have him absolutely wrapped around your finger and you know it. He knows that you know it and just lets you use him in whatever way you want.
“You have a funny way of showing it,” he pulls you tighter against him, “Who the hell was that?” Felix’s deep voice rings through your ear and he places a gently kiss just below your ear.
“Mm. Forgot. I just wanted your attention,” you confess and push back against Felix, your ass bumping against his cock, begging to be in you.
“Well you have it. I should fuck you right here so you remember who you belong to, sweet girl,” he grumbles into your ear before sucking slightly on the same spot he had just kissed, leaving a hickey, marking his territory.
“Oh, my love, you know I don’t belong to anyone but myself. We’ve been over this,” you turn in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. He tucks both of his hands in the back pockets of your jeans as you make eye contact.
You reach up and tuck his hair gently behind his ear before leaning in and pressing your lips against his, he immediately kisses you back and licks the seam of your lips, asking for entrance. You let his tongue into your mouth and he immediately pulls away.
He can taste a liquor on your breath that he knows for a fact you don’t like, then he remembers why he stormed over here in the first place.
“I can taste that fucker on your breath,” he growls out and you chuckle, only making him angrier.
“Oh, I’m sorry honey. Do you want me to brush my teeth or are you just going to kiss me until all his taste is gone? It’s your choice,” you reply and twist his hair around your fingertips gently.
He probably looks pitiful right now to any onlookers. He probably looks like some guy who is completely whipped by a girl that doesn’t even want him and just had her tongue down some different guy’s throat. But honestly, Felix couldn’t care less.
He presses his lips against yours again and you kiss for a few minutes before you grab his hand and place it over your racing heart.
“If I give you a piece of this, will you be careful with it?” You ask, touching your forehead against his before pulling back and looking into his eyes again.
“Give me the whole thing and I promise I won’t lose it. I’ll be careful,” he swears, no trace of a smile on his face.
He wants nothing more than to have just a tiny corner of your heart since you were already taking up the entirety of his.
Seungmin- Tidal Wave
Passion drippin' off the wall, baby
Damn, you make it easy
And drop a little acid on our tongues, baby
We can make it freaky
Don't you think about turning the lights out
I want them to see this
And I say fuck the rules and let 'em find out
But that's just how I'm feelin'
“S-slow down (wink). I c-can’t stay quiet like this,” you whimper out but your boyfriend doesn’t listen. Instead, he leans forward, his chest pressed to your back and his cock impossibly deep in you.
You can’t stop the groan that leaves your mouth, a mix of pleasure and pain forcing the noise from you. He places a kiss on the back of your shoulder then sits up again. His hands gently rub down the arch of your back. The beauty that is you is truly out of this world and he can’t help but just look sometimes.
“Minnie, move,” your voice is whiny and Seungmin lets out a deep chuckle behind you.
“I thought you wanted me to slow down. Now you want me to speed up? Needy little thing, aren’t ya?” his voice is laced with a condescending tone and you clench around him. He suddenly pulls out completely and in one quick motion he flips you to your back and scoots down the bed, his head between your legs.
“What are you doing?” you question, your voice slightly shaky from the constant teasing.
“What do you think I’m doing? I’m going to eat this pretty little pussy until you have no choice but to scream for me,” He raises his eyebrows at you as a blush radiated up your neck and to your face.
“But… they’ll hear. They’ll know,” you whisper shout at him. His band mates were scattered throughout the house. If you get quiet enough, you could hear them. From what you could tell, two of them seemed to be playing some kind of video game together and another was in the kitchen, listening to music and probably cleaning.
“Good. That’s fine with me,” he suddenly replies and plunges a finger into you. Your back arches off the bed and you bite down on your lip to stop the moan.
“B-but you said-”
“I changed my mind. After seeing the way they were looking at your ass in those pants today, I want to make it clear to them that you belong to me and nobody else,” he speaks up and glances down at where his finger is knuckle deep in your pussy before adding another finger.
His lingering gaze makes you nervous and you subconsciously close your thighs, trying to hide yourself from him. This quickly earns you a gentle slap to the inside of your thigh and a firm grip prying your legs back open.
“Why are you looking so much? Let’s turn the lights off. I’m getting shy,” you mumble out which causes a smug smile to break across your boyfriend’s face.
“Never. I love looking at this sweet cunt. All mine too, isn’t that right, baby?” he asks as he slowly begins to pump his fingers in and out of you. You groan and bite down on your lip again but Seungmin moves his hand from it’s spot on your thigh and pulls your lip from between your teeth. He pats your cheek, not enough to be considered a slap but definitely a warning.
“I asked you a question, pup. Don’t tell me my babydoll is already fucked out. I haven’t even made you scream yet,” he gives a fake pout and you groan again.
“All your’s baby. I’m all yours,” you ramble as he speeds his fingers up inside of you.
“Who do you belong to? Say my name.” He demands as he starts to curl his fingers inside of you. He leans forward and licks your clit, making you jump at the contact and he chuckles, the vibrations ricocheting throughout your body.
“Fuck, Seungmin,” you moan out and he slaps the outside of your thigh before kneading the flesh and pulling his mouth away slightly.
“Louder, princess,” he commands and dives back in. He feels you clench around him before suddenly you’re cumming all over his face and fingers.
“Seungmin! Fuck. Don’t stop. Feels so good!” You finally scream out as you grind your face against his tongue, riding out your high.
“Call me what you like to call me,” he demands, another shit eating, smug grin on his face. His fingers are still pumping in and out of you and starting to send you into overstimulation.
“Mmm, daddy! Please slow down! ‘S too much,” you slur your words together and a smirk covers his face as he kisses each of your thighs then climbs back up your body, slowly pulling his soaking wet fingers from inside of you.
“Now I’m going to fuck you and I want you to keep screaming my name just like that. I don’t even want them to think about ever looking at what’s mine again,” he bites down on the skin covering your collarbone, making you buck your hips against him.
“Do I make myself clear?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes and you nod. He raises his eyebrows at you, a warning, “Words, darling. Use your words,” he adds on and you clear your throat
“Yes, sir. Crystal clear,” you nod and her kisses you gently on the forehead before sinking back into you, your wet cunt pulling him with ease.
I.N- Right Here
It's happening again
Well, I don't give a fuck about your friends
I'm right here, here
Oh baby take a look around
I'm the only one that hasn't walked out
I'm right here, here
Hearing the door slams makes you jump at your spot on the couch. You weren't expecting your boyfriend today, but he's the only one who knows your code so it has to be him.
"Innie?" your voice echos. You hear him slip his shoes off before you see your boyfriend walk into the room you're in. His hair looks disheveled like he had been running his hands through it and his face looks wild.
"Innie? What's wrong? What happened?" You immediately snap your book closed and turn your body towards him. He runs his hands through his hair and that's when you notice the bruises on his hands and arms.
"Yang Jeongin. What happened to you?" You jolt up from your seat and walk towards him. You grab him by the elbow and pull him towards the kitchen, flipping the light on as you enter. You turn again and look over your boyfriend's hands.
"Have you been fighting?!" You exclaim and finally meet his eyes. They're unusually cold, the subtle shine when he usually looks at you no where in sight.
"I heard that jackass talking about you. Your ex," his words have a bite behind them and he clenches his jaw. He had seen your ex? He only knows of one ex, he would only recognize the face of one of your exes.
He's a more recent ex. You two only dated for about five months but he took well to the friend group so he has kind of stuck around since you broke up. You ended things amicably and besides it being awkward for a few hangouts with everyone, the two of you were able to put the relationship behind you and be around each other comfortably.
"What does he have to do with anything? Was it him? You fought him?" You start rattling off questions, studying his expressionless face.
"I did," his reply is curt and his eyes finally meet yours again. You have shock all over your face. This can't be happening.
"Jeongin! Your reputation, your career. You have things to worry about. Why would you even fight that guy?" your voice is shaky as you try to organize your thoughts and understand exactly what could have sent him over the edge.
"He was talking to that girl he's been dating. You should've heard him, y/n. God! I fucking hate that guy. If I ever get my hands on him again, I swear I'll k-"
"Stop!" You interrupt him and slap your hand over his mouth to stop his words, "What was he saying? I still don't understand, baby," you use the pet name in hopes that it'll help calm him down. His eyes soften slightly and you pull your hand from his mouth.
"He was talking about how uptight you are. And calling you a bitch and all kinds of names. Told her that you 'gave up your pussy for any man that had a black card'. As if his money isn’t all daddy’s money. That piece of shit hasn't worked for anything in his life," he slams the side of his fist against the wall.
He turns to you again and places his hands over your shoulders but you're staring into space. He said all that about you? Why would he say that? You thought the two of you ended on good terms so what's with the shit talk now?
"Listen to me, babe. You don't need them. You only need me. You always catch them hanging out without you and talking shit. Fuck them. Just me and you. Is that okay? Does that sound good?" His voice is almost pleading and you meet his eyes again. You feel hurt about what he's telling you but at the same time...are you surprised?
"Okay," your voice is barely more than a whisper and Jeongin places his finger under your chin, tilting your head to face him.
"Okay," he replies and places his forehead against your's. You let out a shaky breath then he places both hands on your cheeks and presses his lips to yours.
Jeongin can’t help the feeling of satisfaction in finally having you completely to himself. He doesn’t care if the mentality is toxic but he wants to be all that you ever need. He wants to be everything to you without anyone else standing in the way.
imma start putting a lil author’s note at the end tee hee. i just wanna say that possessive felix>>>. mega fuckin heart eyes bruv. also seungmin is soo pull out, eat it, put it back in and i cant explain why. source: just trust me.
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carmsgarms · 3 months ago
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just wanna hug you for the jkr post bc my former friends made me feel insane for not validating their continued engagement 💜
Bestie listen youve unzipped me and im about to go off. Harry Potter was my entire life until she literally couldn't shut the fuck up about trans women being perverts and infiltrators. I was a lonely neurodivergent weirdo and Harry Potter brought me solace as a kid. I read each of the books at least 7 or 8 times, that shit is INGRAINED in my brain. One of my best friends of 10+ years is my friend today because the first thing we bonded over was seeing the last HP movie. I used to be deadset on my 2nd tattoo being my pottermore wand with my hogwarts house. I wanted a fucking HP-themed wedding. The first funko pops I bought were Harry Potter ones. My first serious boyfriend told me he wanted to propose to me in front of Hogwarts castle (this was something he said to guilt trip me when i dumped his ass) ((also thank the gods that never happened he was a shithead and so is jkr)). My mom for some godforsaken reason let me help her name my youngest brother when he was born because she couldn't think of a name and my 10yo ass fuckikg picked DANIEL because of Daniel Radcliffe. I was in DEEP.
And you know what? Aside from the books I camped out to buy on release day and the DVDs that are crammed in a box somewhere in a storage unit, I have gotten rid of every single Harry potter thing I owned because I grew the fuck up and found better things to like. Sure I'll watch the DVDs again every few years to feel the nostalgia again because a good chunk of the cast are great people (we fucking stan Dan Radcliffe and David Tennant in this house ) but I'm not giving jkr another cent of my money or an inkling of my time beyond that.
You are so valid and you are allowed to be upset if your friends continue to engage with Harry potter content.
Anyone who days "uwu my nostalgia" ask them if they still sleep with their fucking baby blanket too.
My former boss wouldn't shut the fuck up about the new video game when it came out. At least once a week he'd ask me if I'd played it yet and every single time I would tell him "I'm not engaging with that franchise anymore. JKR uses money to fund anti-trans legislation." And he'd always spout some bullshit about nostalgia or "but it's SO good" or "yeah I just try to separate the art from the artist / oh but the devs who worked hard on the game! / but playing the game doesn't actually support her! (yes the fuck it does if the game does well it boosts her platform)"
And especially now that my wife has come out, I'm extra ready to fight the next grown person who tells me they ~separate the art from the artist~ like fuck off. There are better things to spend your time and energy on. I hope everything JKR makes flops hard. Everything shes done since the last movie has been a disgusting cash-grab and none of it is even good. I'm beyond thrilled that BG3 has had a wild runaway success and a longer-lasting player base than the fucking game she put out. Nothing has ever disappointed me more than JKR being the way that she is.
Oh but the lore and world building? The ability to make your own character in such a fun and magical immersion world?bDnd has better lore than Harry potter ever did and the lore adds up and makes sense. If you look at her shit beyond the surface level she is actually fucking TERRIBLE at world building especially when she tries to do it without being a fucking racist ((does anyone remember when early drafts for the American magic schools that were using Native American imagery and it was all REALLY FUCKING OFFENSIVe and let's also not forget "no-maj" being the least fucking creative thing she ever came up with)
"But my hogwarts house" PLEASE choose a better Personality.
I have more nostalgia for Avatar the Last Airbender these days since i got into that when it first started airing when i was 12 (and look if you're really into the fuckin houses as your Personality you can get that with ATLA! Water tribe forever bitches)
"But the characters!!!" Please. There are better characters ALL AROUND YOU. pick up a fucking comic book. Yknow Superman actually has a similar structure, he's got the nerdy Normal friend and the love interest and it's a goddamn shame none of the movies include his bestie Jimmy because he's just as important as Lois Lane is.
"But all the strong female characters!" It is 2024 please I beg you to find other female role models (I will again point to Avatar the Last Airbender and Literally Any Comic Book Featuring A Woman. Captain Marvel is actually really good. Battlestar Galactica is also chock full of strong female characters and that came out in the early 2000s!)
Bestie i genuinely feel bad for all the fucking white people who can ignore all the bullshit JKR has done and said and all those sad saltine cracker flavor type people whose entire personalities are Watching The Office and Enjoying Harry Potter And Star Wars. Grow up. Move On.
If it's that important to you (and i mean the general you here not you specifically), please do what I did and Marie Kondo that part of your life. You don't need to hold onto the safety blankie you had as a child. You don't have to hold onto the pair of shoes that got you through high school and are out of fashion and falling apart. You give it a sendoff. Say "thanks for getting me through that part of my life but I'm moving on" and you move the fuck on.
I did something really sappy for my 30th birthday - I said goodbye to the franchise. I mourned what could have been. I went to Universal studios ((also bc Simpsons land and fast and furious ride and ET and a bunch of other stuff are there)) but I stopped into Harry potter world to do everything once and say goodbye to that part of my life since it was something I had wanted to do for most of my youth, and my friend who i became friends with because of harry potter was there with me. We drank the fucking pumpkin juice, had breakfast at the three broomsticks, appreciated all the little easter eggs around hp world, rode the hagrid ride, and ate a chocolate frog I wore my trans rights shirt and dressed gay as hell, my friend is trans so he just ~existed blissfully~ . I think every Harry potter fan needs to acknowledge that the franchise was good for them in the 90s, mourn that part of their life, and move on.
Bonus: me being Gay as Fuck in front of the castle. I hope JKR fucking rots and fades into obscurity and people come to realize she's worse than HP Lovecraft.
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Look Alive, Sunshine / Na Na Na
Look alive, sunshine 109 in the sky, but the pigs won't quit 109 is his radio frequency, the 'pigs' refer to anyone working under BL/ind (so, Dracs, Exterminators, and SCARECROWS). You're here with me, Dr. Death-Defying I'll be your surgeon, your proctor Your helicopter Pumpin' out the slaughtermatic sounds to keep you alive The purpose of his radio station is to guide Killjoys through the desert. Does it imply that he's guiding newer escapees? It works, especially considering that this is the first track on the album; we're the new Killjoys he's guiding. A system failure for the masses Anti-matter for the master plan Fighting against BL/ind. Louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny Killjoys and self-expression. This one's for all of you rock'n'rollers All you crash queens and motor babies Listen up
Conclusion: This is from the perspective of Dr Death. He's guiding us through the Killjoy's world.
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The future is bulletproof The aftermath is secondary The BL/ind slogan. It's time to do it now and do it loud Killjoys, make some noise Killjoy rebellion and self-expression. Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na Na, na-na, na-na, na-na Na, na-na, na-na, na-na Na-na, na-na, na-na The "na"s are probably taunting/teasing, but could just be singing along. Who knows. Drugs, gimme drugs, gimme drugs The BL/ind methods of mind manipulation. Eight legs to the wall The fab four logo (the spider). Is it because they're pests to BL/ind? Hit the gas, kill 'em all And we crawl, and we crawl, and we crawl Crawling through life, out of sight of BL/ind. Also a spider logo reference. From mall security To every enemy We're on your property Standing in V formation No matter how hard people try and exterminate them, they will find a way to rebel. Let's blow an artery Referenced in the music lyric video to be about fast food, possibly linked to American consumerism. Eat plastic surgery BL/ind prioritises conformity---is plastic surgery encouraged in Battery City? Keep your apology Give us more detonation Oh, let me tell you 'bout the sad man Shut up and let me see your jazz hands Reference to "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who. They are seen as villains in the eyes of BL/ind, but really they just want freedom. Remember when you were a madman Thought you was Batman And hit the party with a gas can Their aspirations to be heroes. Kiss me, you animal More freedom of expression, especially if this has queer subtext. You run the company Fuck like a Kennedy The link between freedom and power. I think we'd rather be Burning your information Anti-corporation sentiment. And right here Right now All the way in Battery City Battery City is the city run by BL/ind. The little children Raise their open filthy palms Like tiny daggers up to heaven Rebellion and a (possibly) futile hope for freedom. And all the juvie halls The people apprehended for fighting the norms. And the Ritalin rats The people who were controlled by BL/ind medication. Ask angels made from neon And fucking garbage Radioactive. Scream out, "What will save us?" And the sky opened up Reference to Destroya, possibly. More likely it's their belief that the Girl will play a major role in taking down BL/ind. Everybody wants to change the world Everybody wants to change the world But no one, no one wants to die They know they'll need to sacrifice themselves to make their difference. Make no apology It's death or victory Again, knowing they must sacrifice themselves. On my authority Crash and burn, young and loaded Power in the youth. Drop like a bullet shell People will need to drop (die) in order to succeed. Dress like a sleeper cell Wait for the word that victory is near. I'd rather go to hell Than be in purgatory It's better to die a sinner than have done nothing to stop a worse evil. Purgatory could also reference BL/ind mind control. Cut my hair Gag and bore me Removing self-expression and liberation. Pull this pin Let this world explode Reference to the Girl's fate.
Conclusion: This is all of the fab four singing, like an anthem for the Killjoys, and establishes their desires, beliefs, and goals.
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sable-skies · 3 months ago
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I wanna see what you have to say about horses :3
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the little horse girl in my heart just screamed something between a "YIPPPIEEEE" and a "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO"
okayokaoykaoyayao i dont even know where to start uhh huh dhfisgdf
It's actually been a few years since I've interacted with a horse! I used to majorly be into them as a kid, hell probably before I got into anything else i was The Horse girl in my school/grade (and got picked on for it but who gives a FUCK those people SUCKED anyway) and i just. never shut up about them
I had a shit ton of books about horses and various breeds, my entire room looked like a horse shrine, the whole nine yards was just. Honse. and looking back im glad I had that growing up, that my mom indulged me on my first major interest and had tried to get me into horse riding lessons a few times! but alas, the 2008 recession hit my mom hard and i had no idea at the time.
Its funny actually because a lot of people around me growing up forgot I was a super big horse nerd because I got all quiet and into other things and such that I stopped talking about them as much, but again, that little horse girl in my heart is ready to pretty much at any time just give me the sleeper agent activation code word and I'm gone brother
I think my favorite example of people not knowing I was a horse kid was back in high school when I picked up a friend of mine, who was also a major horse girlie, (her mom would let her walk in negative degree weather and i wasnt letting that happen) she had been watching a video on her phone and it reflected in the window. and without any hesitation i went "tinker horse?" and she whipped her head around and looked at me in shock like "how did you know??"
the answer of how I knew is because thats one of my favorite horse breeds out there. because im a dork and i never forgot its name (technically i knew it by its old name with the slur in it, look it up if you need to) but regardless: i knew this mf from a mile away
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These are tinker horses btw!! Big draft breeds with feathery legs / feet, long manes, and a big impressive build. Honestly as I've gotten older I think my preference in horse breeds has shifted to the draft kind, which is funny because as a kid I would tell you something like a quarter horse was my favorite. (though all horse breeds are good, its kinda like dog breeds in terms of discussion tho just. which ones you like to look at or like interacting with)
as for other favorites, i also really enjoy shires, Friesian, Andalusians, Tennessee walkers, american paints, and a whole lot more!
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thats mostly all about like, nostalgic memories and some breed talk though, i dont actually keep up with current horse media or any sort of discussion, so I don't have any comments on lifestyles, conditions, how they're handled, etc. again, i'm really out of the horsesphere as of now and I doubt I'll get much back into it in life, seeing as its such an expensive thing to be into.
but generally: i like horses, i think they're fun creatures and i like to think of them as bigger (and potentially more dangerous) dogs. if i get a chance to interact with one in a good setting i tend to take it, and i usually walk away happy on the basis of "i got to pet a horse thats gonna make my WHOLE week", because honestly I'm not big on riding them anymore, i just like being around them.
but yea thats. some thoughts. oh my god i typed way too much
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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 7 months ago
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There are already numerous incarnations of Taskmaster, which started as a show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival worldwide. However, would the pair consider bringing the UK show to the US? "We're in New York at the moment and we're muttering about it. We think it could work," Horne mused. "We would love to do it. I'll say it, blatantly," Davies laughed. "I would love us to do it, but I think it would have to be a recreation of what we do on our terms. American performers coming into our world and abiding by our rules, and I think it would work, and I would love to do it." Horne continued, "Americans have always loved some British shows, like The Office and going back to Monty Python. I don't know why, but I think they have taken this under their wing. I haven't got an answer for you, and it might be because it's quintessentially British, but it's very different from anything on American TV. People tend to tell us that it makes them happy, and if they're sad, they can turn to it and escape."
Love the way they completely, 100% ignore the fact that they've already done an American version. They're not just disowning it, they're retconning it out of history. Which, to be fair to them, is what I'd been hoping they might do at some point. Pretend the first one didn't count and give it another go. A second American Taskmaster might also be terrible - I can think of a lot of ways America could fuck it up - but it might also be cool.
The way this reads is so funny, though. Alex explaining that he thinks there could be demand for Taskmaster in the States by reaching for options as wildly different as The Office and Monty Python, while ignoring the fact that one show that has been on American TV before, and is a bit like Taskmaster - perhaps not as much like Taskmaster as it should have been but it has to be more like Taskmaster than Monty Python were - is Taskmaster US. Though I don't think it became proof that British shows succeed in America.
Due to the show's popularity, the Taskmaster House has become iconic and is a character in the show in its own right. However, they have managed to stop the location, rethemed for each season, from being swamped by fans. "I think I can solve the mystery as to why it's not inundated by people. It's because it's horrible. It is quite grubby," Davies said. "It's a horrible, cold, awful little place that I'm delighted I don't have to spend much time in." "Anyone who comes there will go I can't believe I spent money on a plane ticket to see this."
Shut up, Greg. I have paid for my plane ticket already and I am absolutely going to go look at that house. I will jump up in the air and try to see over the gate. I will look at the golf course and say "It's weird that this is mainly a golf course and not mainly a house for panel shows." I have it all planned out. It'll be worth the plane tickets.
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wonderlandleighleigh · 1 year ago
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8 for Maisel? 🥰
Gordon's Emmy's party is just as insane as Midge thought it would be, and while she does love a great party, this group is hard for even her to keep up with.
She didn't bring a date, and it makes her popular, unfortunately. Canon fodder for the single men present. And even some of the not-so-single men.
And so she finds herself in the garden outside of the very fancy venue Gordon's team rented. It's strange but there's far less light pollution out here, and Midge can see some stars peeking through in the night sky, and it's...
Well, honestly, it's beautiful.
She finds a bench and settles down, smoothing out her black designer gown, breathing in the cool air and enjoying the calm.
"No, you see," a familiar voice tells her. "This is my bench."
Midge can't help a slowly smile as she looks up at Lenny. "I was wondering if you were going to show up to this thing."
"Ah, my manager told me I had to make an appearance," he shrugs, sitting next to her. "But it turns out it's an awful fucking party."
She nods in agreement. "Yes, it is."
They sit in silence for a long time, both of them looking up at the night sky in companionable silence.
"I always liked stars," he admits quietly. "It's harder to see them in the city, but...I always..."
Midge turns to look at him, tilting her head. "What?"
He shrugs and gestures up to the sky. "It always struck me as very strange, and very beautiful, that we exist alongside all of that."
She smiles and rests her head on his shoulder. "I never thought about it before. But it is nice."
"Yes, it is."
More silence settles over them as Lenny slides an arm around her shoulders.
"Wow. I never would have guessed."
Midge rolls her eyes as she looks up at her boss. "Hi, Gordon."
"Midge. Lenny."
"Hello," Lenny greets.
"What are you two up to?" Gordon smirks. "A little alone time?"
"Literally just looking at the sky," Midge tells him unimpressed.
"Sure."
"Did you know Saturn has nine moons?" Lenny asks.
Gordon blinks.
"Nine," he nods. "It's a lot of fuckin' moons. We've only got the one. Hell, there might be more."
Midge grins a little, watching the exchange.
"...Okay," Gordon says awkwardly. "I think I forgot that you're a dweeb."
"I did an entire television segment on flea circuses once," Lenny points out. "I blew my nose on the air on Playboy Penthouse. I probably got snot on Hue Hefner. How could you possible forget that?"
Midge laughs into his shoulder, squeezing her eyes shut. She knows it's going to get her in trouble with Gordon to laugh this hard, but she's note sure she cares very much.
"Right," Gordon nods slowly. "I'm uh...I'll leave you two to it, I guess."
Midge lifts her head and smiles. 'Bye, Gordon."
He walks off and Midge buries her face in Lenny's shoulder again.
"Of course I'm a dweeb, it's how I get arrested all the fucking time," Lenny grumbles. "I know too much about the American legal system, and religion and the state of our economy and I get busted for spouting facts mixed in with swear words and dicks jokes. Forgot I was a dweeb. Fuck's sake."
She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek. "Just enjoy the view, Lenny."
He pulls back a little, lifting his eyebrows as he gazes at her. "Yes, it is a very lovely view."
Midge feels herself flush a little, biting her lip.
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ohara-n-brown · 9 months ago
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I think the people that are asking others to vote for Biden are always missing a big thing.
I get the argument - 'Trump is worse and more of a threat to all of us, so you have to vote for Biden, he's the lesser of two evils!'
Okay, makes sense.
But these posts NEVER EVER bring up the moral dilemma, or how to handle it.
Why 'Blue No Matter Who' WON'T Work Right Now -
You are asking people to directly go against their morals and vote for a man funding genocide -
But then you refuse to give either
1) A way for those people to come to peace with their decision after the fact and
2) A way we're gonna hold Biden accountable AFTER he wins.
You are asking others to vote for a man funding genocide.
Okay, so once they do - and go home and lay in their beds - only to wake up two months later and see Biden sending another 10 billion dollars to Israel-
What moral comfort do you have to give them? For them, knowing that's their money and the man they put into power.
Do you have anything to say to them? Nothing? Because you don't care?
How do you expect them to sleep knowing they've betrayed their morals? Or do you think betraying your morals is something someone can outright choose to do with no mental reprecussions?
And this isn't just some abstract comment. I'm being LITERAL. We all have to go against our morals at least each in our life yes, but you still have to deal with the emotional aftermath.
You all are asking people to set aside their morals without acknowledging that morals, and without justification for it after the fact.
Really, those posts sound like 'Please vote for Biden, we know he's funding a genocide and you don't like that. But PLEASE it's so important. Oh thanks, you voted for him. Wait you feel guilty?.... Not my problem.'
And two - you're providing NO SOLUTION for Biden's behavior.
Biden has been funding a genocide. In the last 130 days he has sent BILLIONS of taxpayer dollars to a foreign country for genocide and war.
You want me to vote for him. And then you never ever ever mention how you plan to get him to STOP doing these things.
You're telling me 'Trump is dangerous! He doesn't listen to the people, he dehumanizes the oppressed and wants them dead!'
Okay, true.
But if Biden ends up in office AGAIN how are we gonna stop him from continuing to abuse his power AGAIN?
Or have you just not thought about that? Are you not concerned about the fact you have no ability whatsoever to hold your own canidate accountable?
Do you just not think about that because it makes you feel powerless and uncomfortable?
Biden has proven he too doesn't listen to the people.
And he in fact, DOES dehumanize the oppressed and does indeed want them dead. Just because those people aren't American doesn't mean anything.
Biden wants oppressed people dead.
So now that we know he does and wants those things - and we can't get him to stop NOW - and yet you want me to re-elect him without offering me methods in which he'll change.
Okay, buddy.
If you want to convince people to vote for Biden you're gonna have to
1) Engage with their morals and explain how they can come to peace with voting for a Genocidal Fascist and their tax dollars being directly used to aid that AND
2) How we plan to hold Biden accountable and change his behavior AFTER I've sacrificed my morals to give him more power.
If you can't do that in your post - shut the fuck up.
You're not gonna tell me to vote for a Genocidal asshole only to tell me 'ummm if you feel guilty afterwards that's not my problem just vote for him okay and also after he's elected I have no idea how to get him to do what we want cause he doesn't even listen to us right now but I promise he's better than Trump so just do it okay'
I'll see entire posts asking for people to vote for Biden - and the post will just not mention Palestine.
They'll talk about Trump, trump, trump - but literally no one with ever say 'Listen, I know Biden is the reason thousands of Palestinians are dead, but-'
Because they know that sounds fucking ridiculous and evil so they leave that part out and hope we don't notice that you've conveniently forgot to mention why we're at this crossroads in the first place.
They tell people to vote for Biden, but never mention why people don't want to vote for him.
Because Democratic voters do not support the massacre of Gaza and Biden does not care.
HOW ARE YOU GONNA MAKE HIM CARE? If you can't tell me - don't tell me what the hell to do. Cause you don't even know what you're gonna do.
If you can't acknowledge the conversation, You're ignoring the crimes of your canidate breaking international law, simply saying they didn't happen or don't matter in the general scheme of things - just like a Trump-ette.
You're literally telling me that Biden will save America and the only chance we have at keeping it... Shit we're not even saying America is 'great', like the Trump-ettes.
We know the US is shit and that Biden contributes to that. None of us actually even believe he'll make America better in the slightest.
At the very least Trump supporters stupidly believe he'll bring about positive chance.
Biden supporters acknowledge he probably won't bring positive change for anyone really. And then they still go vote for him.
That's even fucking sadder. It's less evil, but just as fucking sad.
Voting for a canidate you know doesn't care about you, your education, your health, your home, your life, or really whether you're dead or not.
But you still vote for him - because he's blue.
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If you want people to vote for Biden but refuse to engage the moral argument OR Biden's silencing and ROBBING (Yes, using executive action to send billions of dollars overseas against the wills of most Americans is fucking robbery) of the American people -
Please just shut the fuck up. You really can't expect me to listen to that.
'Vote for Biden... just cause!! Don't think about it! Don't think about what happens after! Just do it :) Why? Democrats are inherently better, that's why'
You've got to be joking
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So yes, make the argument you want. But if you can't back it up, don't blame others cause they didn't vote.
Blame yourself for not thinking through your point for more than twenty seconds. Blame yourself for expecting people to conform blindly.
If you want me to vote for that man but can't tell me how we're gonna free Palestine from that same man's genocidal glee then I'm begging you to shut the hell up.
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hecatemoon87 · 2 years ago
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BOB SAGINOWSKI x FEMALE OC
Warnings ⚠️ smut
NO minors!
Part I
Part II
Part III:
Bob was feeling guilty. An emotion he was all too familiar with. He had kissed Jocelyn, and by doing so, he had done two things. First, he had betrayed his vows as a priest. And second, he had hurt Jocelyn by running away. He had no idea how'd he repent for either transgression.
Feeling absolutely miserable, Bob still had to fulfill his priestly duties. This week, he needed to attend his theology studies, help clean the dormitory he shared with other junior priests, and assist with the community's St. Patty's day fair. Part of the proceeds went to St. Mary's, the church Bob served.
It was a chilly Friday afternoon as Bob pounded nails into a wooden structure that would eventually be the ticket booth at the entrance to the fairgrounds. He spent three hours helping with odds and ends with the completion of the fair set up and then went over to his cousin's house for a late lunch.
His cousin, Bridget, was originally from Ireland. Bob's aunt had gone over to the emerald isle in the eighties and had married an Irishmen. Bridget had only recently moved to the states, but had visited her American side of the family often as a child.
Bridget was five foot tall with burning red ember hair. Although she was small she was fairly intimidating. She was a hardcore Catholic, yet she liked to drink and had a mouth of a sailor.
"What the feck are you doin' here so late? I almost gave yer food to the dog," Bridget said, slamming a plate of food in front of Bob.
"Sorry, I got behind with errands," Bob said, picking up his fork and digging into the Sheppard pie before him.
"Well, yer gonna have to eat alone. I'm going out, have meself that weird green beer you strange people drink," she said, grabbing her coat from the coat rack by the door.
Bob nodded and waved goodbye as Bridget left the house. Half way through his meal a light knocking interrupted his lunch. He paused, hoping whoever it was would go away. But the knocking persisted and then her heard a female's voice say, "Bridget! Come on, let me in! It's Jocelyn."
Bob stopped midway between plate and mouth with his fork. He sighed heavily. Bridget and Jocelyn had been close. Even though Bridget would only come for a few weeks during the summer, they were good friends.
Jocelyn continued pounding on the door until Bob opened it.
"She left about fifteen minutes ago," Bob said, as he stood in the doorway.
Jocelyn looked surprised to see him. Then her surprise turned to annoyance. "Well, that's fucking great! I took a cab to get here and she was supposed to give me a ride home after. My phone is dead, can you call her?"
She pushed her way inside as a cold breeze swept by the house. Bob closed the door behind her and tried calling Bridget. The phone rang until it went to voice mail.
"She isn't picking up, I told her to call back," Bob said, shoving his phone back into his pocket. They stood in the kitchen in awkward silence. When they tried to speak, they did so at the same time.
"Sorry, you go," Bob said.
"No, it's fine. Go ahead," she said.
"Okay. The other day...I wanted to tell you..." he started to say, but she cut him off.
"No, let's not do this," she said.
"What? No, I need to explain that I do care for..." he tried to say, but she shook her head.
"Would you just stop? Look, nothing is going to change. You're a priest. I get it. I'll fucking deal with it, okay? So, let's just move on," she said, bitterly.
Again silence hung over them, albeit heavier than before. But Bob couldn't take it. He walked over, closing the gap between them.
"Jocelyn, I need you to know you are important to me. Your friendship is important to me," he said, trying to get her to look him in the eye.
"Oh, shut up, Bob! I want more than just friendship! I know you do too, why else would you kiss me the other day?"
"Fine! I do want more. But I made a vow to God! I can't just break them," he said, helplessly.
"Yes, you fucking can! It's all made up, Bob! How come other holy men in other religions can have a wife? Huh? I don't mean a damn thing to you. Your ridiculous beliefs are more important than me!"
Bob couldn't reply to that. He couldn't really explain why Catholic priests chose celibacy while other holy men could marry and lead lives.
He pulled out the kitchen chair he had been sitting in and sat down heavily. He placed his face in both hands and exhaled sharply. Why was everything so hard? Why was it so confusing and painful? And he was alone, all alone.
He suddenly felt Jocelyn place a hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Bob. Just forget it, okay? I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"I'm a bad priest. And I'm not even that great of a person," Bob said, laughing without mirth.
"That's such bullshit and you know it. Well, maybe a shit priest, but I think you're a pretty awesome guy," she said, teasingly smacking his arm.
Bob smiled, feeling strangely better. He always seemed to feel better when he was around Jocelyn.
"Thanks, I guess," he said, standing up. "Do you want me to call Bridget again? Or I can just drive you home?"
"Yeah, just take me home. If I go chasing after Bridget, I'll drink too much and I might bring home some random guy. I have been so horny lately, I can't see straight," she said, walking towards the door. She glanced back and shrugged. "Sorry. I mean, how you stay celibate is beyond me."
"It's beyond me too, let's just go already," Bob mumbled, not happy that Jocelyn was sleeping with other men.
"Are you jealous?" she said, poking him in the ribs as he shrugged on his coat.
"No...well, yeah," he said, fishing his car keys out of his coat pocket.
"Good. If you're suffering, that makes my suffering less miserable." she said, yanking the keys out of his hand. "I'll drive, thanks."
"You're suffering?" Bob said incredulously.
"Believe me, Bob, every day that passes where I don't get to be with you...I'm suffering," she said and opened the door, stepping out into the cold spring evening.
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names-hard · 11 months ago
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TL;DR: Fuck The Washington Post! No one should feel forced to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect them.
So I'm sure many of you have seen the Washington Post article headline about how gen z men and women are having more disagreements about politics, and how this is bad for marriage.
Now most of what I've seen of it is people making fun of the men. Which is very fair, if they don't respect women then women shouldn't have to put up with them. But I wanted to see if the headline is just clickbait or if it actually thinks that gen z not marring due to differing political ideologies is a problem.
And ya, it does think that.
"This mismatch means that someone will need to compromise. As the researchers Lyman Stone and Brad Wilcox have noted, about 1 in 5 young singles will have little choice but to marry someone outside their ideological tribe. The other option is that they decline to get married at all — not an ideal outcome considering the data showing that marriage is good for the health of societies and individuals alike."
I'm sure it's pretty clear that the person who the article wants to "compromise" is women, right? After all historically women have had to take care of their husbands and be willing to change to make him happy, and we shouldn't change that at all. So of course they need to marry someone who thinks of them as property and want to take away all of their rights, cos if they don't they'll be sad... 😔
"They are working, living and socializing with people who think the same things they do. Particularly on college campuses, a culture of seeking sameness has set up young Americans for disappointment. They expect people to share their own convictions and commitments. But people’s insight and understanding about the world often come from considering alternative perspectives that may at first seem odd or offensive."
Now all admit that considering other perspectives is important, but what do conservatives have to offer that's so important that women have to marry them? Are they going to be happy hearing about how much their husband thinks that anyone not cis white and straight needs to be killed or arrested and that women should shut up and let men do what they want? It's not a bad thing that people want to be with other people like them, forcing yourself to be surrounded by people who either want you dead or submit to their power over you.
Not only all that but the article neglects to say what exactly the differences between liberal and conservative ideologies are, giving off the impression that gen z women are making a big deal over a tiny issue and not telling men who believe they are less than them to fuck off.
No ultimately I'm just some loser on the internet ranting about an article I don't like but if you want to read actual counterarguments to The Washington Post I'll give you a few recommendations.
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mxliv-oftheendless · 2 years ago
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Shattered Illusions
Aguni tried many times before to get Takeru to come back to him. He was never very successful.
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Alright, everybody, here it is! I have been working on this baby for a whole fucking month (it took this long because I started an internship and went to a research conference and have had so much shit to do), and thanks to a bout of insomnia keeping me awake I have finally finished it! I REALLY wanted to write something involving Aguni and Hatter, because their relationship in the show is so interesting and tragic and worthy of exploration. I really hope it's good, because I tried really hard to get Hatter's characterization right. Also I'll warn you I wrote a lot of this out in one go so it is largely unedited. But that's pretty par the course for me lol. Hope you guys like it!
I have to give the biggest thanks ever to @hatterstan-shameblog for all their help with this story! Thank you so much for your opinions and your analysis of Hatter and Aguni's relationship because it was a huge help! <3<3<3
CW: mentions of alcoholism and drug use, unhealthy coping mechanisms.
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Aguni didn’t like nightclubs—never had, really. They’d managed to convert one of the empty ballrooms of the Seaside Paradise Tokyo into a sort of nightclub, and as more and more people came to the Beach, it got increasingly crowded. If Aguni had had his way, he would never set foot in there, but as their numbers grew, so did the nightclub goers, meaning inevitably it became a place the militants had to regularly patrol.
Takeru, by contrast, loved the place. He was always the social butterfly of the two of them, so he loved to drink and dance with the people at the Beach’s nightclub. He made sure everyone had drinks, socialized with everyone; he even made sure there were clear paths to the bathrooms and water bottles available for those who had too much.
If it were Aguni being surrounded by a bunch of loud, drunk, horny people in swimwear, he would absolutely despise it. But of course, Takeru loved it. It was so plainly obvious to see that he did. His face always lit up in a wide grin and if Aguni strained his ears, he would hear the man’s loud laughter amidst the booming music. And even if Aguni couldn’t see him on the dance floor among the throngs of people, he knew to simply look for where the crowd was condensed the most, because Takeru would undoubtedly be in the very center. The people at the Beach loved it when he joined them, all of them crowding around their leader like moths to a multicolored-kimono-wearing flame.
“This song fucking sucks,” he heard over the music as Niragi swaggered up to stand beside him. “Why can’t they play the good shit?” he complained.
“You are not here to complain,” Aguni said curtly. “If you want them to play a different song, then give me your gun and go tell them yourself.”
That shut the kid up. As trigger-happy as he was, Niragi was still smart enough to know that if he handed over his gun, he effectively gave up his militant status. So Niragi contented himself with an eye roll, a petulant “Whatever,” and turning his grumbling to the floor.
If Aguni were a less stoic man, he might have rolled his eyes right back. But as it was, he returned to surveying the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of Takeru in the sea of swimwear.
Aguni was a sensible man. Maybe he wasn’t the smartest, or the most cunning, or even the most sophisticated man. But he was sensible—he had to be given his previous line of work. He operated under no delusions, made no attempts to lie to himself or anyone, and covered his own ass. And so he could see very rational reasons why this nightclub existed and why Takeru constantly being there was advantageous. It let the people who came to the Beach think less about how it was rather like an American-style cult and more about how they truly were all united. And Takeru, the leader of their little commune, and his presence there made the idea more believable. If he was there dancing alongside them, then he was one of them, an equal, not just the leader of the place. So even if he didn’t personally like the place, he could begrudgingly admit it was a little useful.
Takeru, by contrast, was the exact opposite. Takeru was extroverted and rowdy; he liked opera music and girl groups in equal amounts; he was charismatic and charming. All things that made him a good host, and afterwards, a natural fit for his father’s hat business. The only exception to Aguni’s sensible life was Takeru, but he could excuse that. He was his oldest friend, the only one who’d stuck around this long, so Aguni could perhaps forgive himself for having a soft spot for Takeru.
Still, even with Takeru, Aguni operated under no delusions—he’d known the man long enough to understand how much of his natural charm and extroverted nature was a front. Most, if not all of it, was a simple front. It was how Takeru coped, really; he hid his pain by pretending he didn’t have any. He drank and fucked it away until it came creeping back, because it always did, and he would go on and on and on repeating the cycle. And that was probably the real reason why Takeru had taken one look at the handful of ballrooms the empty hotel had to offer and declared one of them would be a nightclub. Because then he, and by extension others, could have a place where they could pretend they were back in the real world, partying the night away with their friends at a club, that they weren’t in this hellish landscape.
Maybe that was where Aguni went wrong, letting him do that. Especially in this place, where everyone was gone and all that remained were the horrible games. He let Takeru start the Beach, and he should’ve known that would set him on his old habits again. But he hadn’t thought much about it in the beginning. It had just been the two of them, Kuzuryuu, and a small handful of others then. Not enough to enable Takeru’s propensity for drinking his problems away.
“Aguni, my good man!”
Speak of the devil.
He’d been so focused on his inner monologue that he didn’t even realize the subject of it was stumbling out of the crowd. His sunglasses were over his eyes (he would never understand Takeru’s insistence on wearing sunglasses indoors) and he had an excited, rather inebriated grin on his face as he headed straight for him. “So glad you could join us!” he said boisterously, clapping a hand on Aguni’s shoulder. “The party wouldn’t be complete without your stoic, statuesque presence here!”
Aguni was not amused. “Hatter,” he grunted in greeting.
“Won’t you join us? I’m sure you’d enjoy the company of some lovely young woman.” Takeru waggled his eyebrows with a grin. “Or some lovely young man, or person. I don’t judge.”
He was definitely inebriated. “I need to talk to you,” Aguni said curtly. “Now. In private.”
“Why, Aguni,” Takeru placed his hands over his chest with a mock-flattered grin. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me.”
“I’m being serious. We need to talk.”
There was a pause, in which Takeru simply stared at him. Aguni looked stonily back, not daring to break their eye contact. The sunglasses made it so difficult to read Takeru’s face. He wished he would take them off; he didn’t really like the person he saw when he wore them.
“Fine then,” he finally said, actually looking serious for once. Then it was gone as he gave the militants behind Aguni a charming grin. “How about we give your friends the night off? Let them relax and not have to do militant things for a while? Seems unfair that they can’t partake in the fun!”
Aguni paused, thinking. “Fine.” He looked over his shoulder at Niragi and the others. “Take the night off. But if I catch wind of any of you,” he pointedly looked at Niragi while speaking, “causing trouble, you can say goodbye to your militant privileges.”
Niragi rolled his eyes, but still groused “Fine,” the others following suit.
“Wonderful!” Takeru spread out his hands. “Have all the fun you like, my friends!”
He thankfully waited until they had dispersed into the crowd before turning to Aguni with a more serious look. The amiable smile was still there, though. “Shall we?”
Aguni turned and headed out of the nightclub without a word, hoping Takeru was following him. He’d been doing this lately, agreeing to speak to Aguni in private then running off the moment he turned his back. He always laughed it off as him just messing around, but Aguni knew what was going on: Takeru was avoiding him. Perhaps he knew why he was trying to speak with him alone and was trying to delay the inevitable.
Well, he couldn’t avoid Aguni forever. And Aguni wasn’t going to let him try.
Luckily, as soon as they were out of the booming nightclub, Aguni heard Takeru’s footsteps behind him. He took them farther down the hall towards the back area of the hotel lobby, and finally brought into what in the real world would have been the hotel manager’s office.
“What a private setting,” Takeru said gaily as Aguni shut the door. “You sure you don’t want to go somewhere more comfortable?”
He didn’t dare give Takeru the rise he was trying to get out of him. “We need to talk.”
“So you keep saying,”
“Takeru.” Aguni felt some satisfaction at how the man immediately shut up at that. “We need to talk about the nightclub.”
“All right.” Takeru leaned against the desk and crossed his arms. “What about it?”
Aguni tried to remember what he wanted this to segue into. The problem was figuring out how exactly to do that without Takeru catching on and ending the conversation before they could get there. For all his love of drink and sex, Takeru was clever, and Aguni had never been very good with words. “I think we should limit the alcohol consumption before sending people out to the games.”
“And why exactly should we do that?”
“Alcohol messes with the ability to think clearly. If people enter games while they’re drunk and can’t think clearly, they’ll die.”
“Awww,” Takeru grinned at him. “I didn’t think you cared so much, Mori-chan. So heartwarming.”
He was deflecting. “Then how about this: if people start dying because they got too drunk before entering the games, that’s less people collecting the cards. It will take longer to collect all of them, and we won’t be able to leave this place sooner. And then people will start questioning what you keep telling them, about being able to send someone home when we’ve collected all fifty-two cards. They’ll stop listening to you.”
That got Takeru’s attention. A part of Aguni rather wished it hadn’t, because he didn’t want to think about the implications. “We don’t have to take away the alcohol completely. Just keep them from drinking too much before the games. They can drink themselves into oblivion when they get back for all I care.”
For a long moment, Takeru was quiet. He appeared to be looking down at the carpeted floor, deep in thought. Aguni had to work to stay patient as he waited for a response. They had to talk about this now, not wait to talk later, because Aguni was afraid he’d be too late if he waited.
“They’re all so brave, aren’t they?”
Aguni frowned at Takeru’s words. Takeru went on, still looking down at the floor. “They go out, every night, even though they know they may not come back. We do that to them, send them out to their deaths. And they go, willingly—happily, even—because they believe that someday, one of them can go home.”
Aguni found himself wanting to listen, to stop and hear what else Takeru had to say. He was good at that, convincing people to listen to him. He was like some sort of siren, drawing people in until they forgot why they were there and only knew Takeru and his words, his ideas. Maybe Takeru would agree, maybe he would say he was right, they couldn’t risk people dying because they let them get too drunk, maybe he would agree to put a limit on drinking alcohol before going out to the games. All would be revealed if he just sat still and listened.
But Aguni did not—could not—operate under such a delusion. “Takeru,” he said, allowing his voice to gain the smallest edge of urgency. “You need to see what I’m concerned about.”
“I do.” Takeru raised his head. “And I think we shouldn’t.”
If Aguni wasn’t so skilled at stoicism, he would’ve gawked at the man. “What? Why not?”
“Like I said: we send them to their deaths every night. And they go, no matter how scared they have to be that they won’t come back. Fear can mess with the ability to think clearly too. And I think if I had the choice to play a game drunk or afraid, I wouldn’t want to be afraid.” Takeru gave him a rather dry smile. “It is called liquid courage, after all. So I say let them continue as they do. It takes the edge of fear away, and they’ll go off to the games knowing that if they die tonight, they made the most of the time they had left.”
“So you want to let them go, completely unable to take care of themselves?”
“I never said that. And it’s not like they go alone. That’s why they go in groups; to look after one another.”
Aguni hated how his mouth opened and closed for a moment as he struggled to find what to say. “But what I am concerned about is drinking to excess,” he finally settled on. “And how it happens every night. Say someone thinks this is their last night, that they’ll die in a game, so they do as you say and drink and dance so they’ll have made the most of their time left. But what if they survive? Then they’ll just be repeating the same cycle every night. And eventually, they’ll start drinking more and more to keep feeling the same way.” He finally fixed Takeru with a pointed look. “You know that behavior isn’t healthy.”
Takeru’s expression finally melted into a serious one. “Watch your step, Morizono,”
Aguni decided to throw the double speak out the window. “I am saying this as your friend, Takeru. I’m not just worried about the Beach. I’m worried about you. You’re relapsing into old habits, and I think you are clever enough to recognize that. Forget about the others for a second and think about yourself. Imagine if you went into a game completely out of your mind, so much that you couldn’t play properly. What do you think would happen?”
Takeru was quiet for a moment. “I would get myself killed,” he finally said, in a tone that sounded like he didn’t want to admit Aguni had a point.
Aguni nodded. “Exactly.” He crossed his arms. “You would die in that game. What do you think I—what do you think the Beach would do if you died? You are the one telling them they can eventually go home; you’re the reason why they stay. Not me, not any of the executives—you. You care about them, don’t you?”
He wondered why he was so afraid Takeru would say no. Of course he cared about them; this world hadn’t changed him that much.
… Right?
“I do. I do care about them. I care about you, Mori-chan.”
Aguni relaxed. “Then listen to what I’m saying. I understand it’s the best vice possible in this place. But being so careless and excessive isn’t good for you, or them, either.”
“Mori.”
Takeru reached up to take off his sunglasses, revealing that behind them his eyes were softer. Aguni was struck by how tired he suddenly looked, like this conversation was reminding him of the gravity of… well, everything. But what Aguni chose to focus on was the clarity he saw. Takeru wasn’t drunk, wasn’t high, wasn’t checked out in any way—his eyes were clear, focused. He was listening after all.
“They need this,” Takeru went on, nodding his head at the door and the direction of the nightclub. “Look at where we are; a cruel, merciless world that doesn’t care how much we want to live, only whether we win the games or not. We’re just pawns, nameless faces in those twisted games. We don’t mean anything, or have any value as people. And maybe you are able to come to terms with that knowledge, but they can’t. They need a reprieve, something that will take their minds off the cruelty and death for a while. Because the reprieve gives them hope, that they can go home one day, and all the death and violence they’ve been through will be worth it. They need this reprieve, because the only thing winning a game does is cruelly remind them that in this harsh, uncaring world, they are still alive. Mori…”
Takeru clapped his hand on Aguni’s shoulder and squeezed it, looking at him like now Aguni was the one that needed to listen. “Don’t look down on those who are still alive.”
Aguni didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t how he wanted the conversation to go. He hadn’t expected Takeru to say that.
“… Do you think I’m looking down on you?” ended up being the words that came out of his mouth. “Am I doing something to make you think I am?”
“Mori-chan…” Takeru squeezed his shoulder again. “Of course not. I know you’re not. You never have, in all the years we’ve been friends.” He smiled wryly. “As much as I’m sure you’ve wanted to. I’ve been told I can be a bit of a pain.”
“You’re my pain,” Aguni said immediately. It was what they’d always said to each other. If one of them said he could be an ass, the other would reply that he was his ass.
Takeru’s smile softened into something genuine and he chuckled. “Damn straight. And you’re mine.”
Aguni let himself smile a little. There was Takeru, finally. Still, though… “You’ll think about what I’m saying, though, right?”
He felt a little guilty at how the question made Takeru’s smile fade a little. But then Takeru nodded. “I will. Perhaps we can talk about it at the next executive meeting. You… do make a good point, I suppose.”
Aguni wanted to sigh in relief. He let himself smirk a little. “It must be so hard for you to admit I’m right.”
“Oh, ha ha,” Takeru mocked with a grin. “But seriously, I will. I will think about what you’re saying.”
That was all Aguni had wanted, really. He nodded. “Good.” He paused, glancing at the door. “I should go make sure Niragi hasn’t shot up the place.”
“What a hotheaded young man,” Takeru said with a coy grin. “He’s such a joy to be around.”
That made Aguni crack a dry smile. “An incredible joy.”
Takeru laughed and pushed himself off the desk. “Allow me.” He went over to the door and opened it, making a sweeping gesture out the door. “After you, my good sir.”
With a fond shake of his head, Aguni moved to walk out the door… then was stopped by Takeru placing his hand on his shoulder again.
“Mori… things will change. I promise you. Things will be better.”
Aguni looked at him for a second, taking in how earnest his old friend looked. Then he nodded. “I know.”
Takeru smiled, then clapped him on the shoulder. “Well,” he put his sunglasses back on and gave what Aguni had labeled his Host Club Smile, “back into the fray I go!”
As Takeru sauntered off to rejoin the party in the nightclub, Aguni couldn’t help watching him go. Takeru really did have a talent for reassuring people. But would it really be so bad if Aguni let himself hope Takeru was telling the truth? He was a sensible man. But sensible men could still have hope.
Takeru had listened to him. He had admitted he had a point. He promised him. And for once, wanting to have faith in his best friend, Aguni believed him. Things would change. Things would get better.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
They didn’t.
Nothing got better. Everything just got worse.
Aguni blamed those players that got themselves shot and killed. If they hadn’t been hoarding their cards, none of this would’ve happened. But they did, like a bunch of idiots, and all the Beach had to show for it was the beginning of the stacks of bodies in the dumpsters and their newest rule.
Death to the traitors.
He should’ve known Takeru wouldn’t be able to handle it all. Because with the reveal that the players were breaking the rules came the shattering of Takeru’s carefully constructed illusion that everything would be fine. He’d never seen the man look so wildly enraged before.
And ever since then, Takeru wasn’t the same. A darker edge had crept into the way he presented himself, just around the edges, and only just enough that people saw it only if they were looking for it. Aguni seemed to be the only one looking for it. He was different now, darker than the man he was before those fucking Beach members set him off.
“Looking for Hatter, I presume?”
The drawling voice made Aguni turn from the entrance to the nightclub to the young man with the bleached hair and white hoodie standing to his left. Chishiya, the Beach’s newest executive. Takeru kept praising how smart he was and how his intellect was contributing to the Beach’s efforts. Aguni was only reminded of a sly, predatory cat. “That’s none of your business,” he barked.
Chishiya just gave him an unbothered smirk. “Naturally. He’s in his room, by the way. He went there a few hours ago with a couple of girls.” Without waiting for a response, he turned and walked off towards a young woman in a blue bikini chewing a fake cigarette.
Of course he was. He should’ve checked there first instead of the nightclub. Takeru had stopped going there lately.
Aguni didn’t waste any more time and turned to head towards the stairs to Takeru’s room. With any luck Takeru would be sober enough to string together a coherent sentence.
Sure enough, he was there, and indeed was sprawled out on his couch with two girls on either side of him. Aguni’s thumping footsteps must have announced his arrival, because Takeru looked up and grinned widely upon seeing him. “Aguni! I’d recognize those heavy footfalls anywhere!”
Aguni hated the state his friend was in. He was clearly already drunk. His lips were stained red with lipstick. Those damn sunglasses never left his face these days…
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said gruffly, trying to ignore the girls running their hands all over Takeru’s torso and kissing his neck and chest.
“Aww, little old me?” Takeru’s grin was borderline mean. “You’re so sweet, Mori-chan.”
Aguni wanted to sigh (and not think about how much seeing that mean smile hurt). “We need to talk.” He glanced at the girls. “In private.”
“You always want to see me privately. Why can’t we be out and about proudly for everyone to see? Are you ashamed of our relationship, Mori-chan?”
“I am being serious,” Aguni said, trying to make his words hit as deeply as possible.
“You always are. Why not relax for once? It won’t kill you.”
It was becoming very hard to not punch that lazily unbothered grin off his face. “You made me a promise, Hatter.”
Aguni felt a flash of slightly spiteful satisfaction when the grin immediately slipped off Takeru’s face. But then it was back as he nonchalantly shrugged. “So what?”
“So things are not changing in the way you implied they would be.”
“Because things are different now. We must adapt to new situations, or we’ll never—”
“Don’t give me speeches,” Aguni interrupted with a scowl. “I’m not one of your followers.”
That made Takeru pause, and Aguni went on. “You told me you would think about what I said. You told me things would change. They haven’t changed—they’ve only gotten worse. Did you forget that promise?”
There was a long silence. No one moved, not even the girls. Everyone, from the girls to the two militants guarding the door, seemed tense as they waited for the unmoving Takeru to respond. He simply stared up at Aguni, expression unreadable with those damn sunglasses.
“That was then,” he finally said, in a voice that was soft but seemed to fill the entire room. His voice shook with something. “This is now. The Beach needs a leader, and I have been chosen as the leader. Sacrifices need to be made.”
Aguni half-wanted that long, tense silence back. “So you’ll just let it get worse?”
“Is it really worse? Is it any worse than the horrors we face every night? Not everyone is so desensitized to violence and death, Aguni.”
The way his name was spat out nearly made Aguni flinch.
“Perhaps you only have the Beach’s best interests at heart,” Takeru went on, “but so do I. And out of the two of us, I’m the leader. You and the militants answer to me. So I am going to keep things as they are.” He looked up, and Aguni hated the glare he could feel coming from behind the sunglasses. “Is that clear?”
Aguni felt something painful erupt in his chest. He wanted to argue. He wanted to say no, that wasn’t clear, that this was insane. That he was worried about him, because he was spiraling so far down a path Aguni couldn’t follow. That it was becoming harder to tell where Hatter, leader of the Beach ended and Danma Takeru began.
“Yes. It is.”
The words felt like a betrayal.
They seemed to flip some sort of switch, because a second later, the lazy, unbothered grin was back and Takeru sat back against the back of the couch. “Wonderful! Glad we’re all on the same page. You’re free to go now.” His grin turned suggestive. “Unless you’d like to watch. Or you could even join. I’m very flexible.”
Aguni wanted to do neither of those things. Wordlessly, he turned and began to leave.
“Oh, by the way,” Takeru called, “some of the militants caught a few people trying to leave. Would you be a dear and help them move the bodies out of the basement? They would ask Ann, but I think they’re a little scared of her.”
All he gave in reply was a grunt. Then he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Aguni Morizono was a sensible man. He covered his own ass, didn’t overthink things, and minded his business. And he never operated under delusions of any kind.
Except the one where he wasn’t losing his best friend, apparently.
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smonk-wonk · 10 months ago
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if your not arab and not israeli the conversation isn't about you. you don't have to worry about hamas from where you live
Imagine if we applied that logic to literally anything else. "Slavery? If you're not a slave owner or a slave in the USA stfu. Holocaust? If you're American why do you even care??? BLM? Stay out of it if you're not black! Stop Asian Hate? Hm you don't look Asian though! Why do you care about the Ukraine that's between them and Russia!" the conversation is about me because I'm human and its occurring on my planet but also because my country is responsible for supplying the bombs being dropped on civilians. The cutesy little messages on the bomb shells might mostly be written by Israel, but it's alongside the labels of US weapons manufacturers.
I also wouldn't be worrying about Hamas if I were literally anywhere because they're not out to get me, they're not going guns blazing firing bunker busters and white phosphorus over civilian areas. The occupation was a threat long before October 7th and before Hamas existed.
You know something interesting? I've never seen an oppressed group or one genuinely being targeted tell people to stay out of it. I've seen so so many people in support of the occupation say to stay out of it, it's not your fight, etc. But I have not seen one Palestinian say it. I can't speak for the feelings of those I have not seen express them but while I've seen Palestinians rightfully call out those on the wrong side of history, I've yet to see one tell anyone to look away because that's just as deadly.
Someone saying "it's not my problem so I'll look away" helps the side committing the war crimes. If you walk by and see a bunch of guys robbing a bank it sure helps them a lot more if you say you saw nothing than it's helping the hostages they're killing. The ones being killed will say "what the hell are you doing? Help us why are you walking away?? And why is that guy giving the robbers more weapons what the fuck??" but they will never tell you to shut up and walk away like you saw nothing
So it's a little fuckin weird whenever I hear someone say to look the other way as those people tend to be on the wrong side of history. Like every time
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separatist-apologist · 1 year ago
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I always want to hear your unsolicited hater thoughts thought 👀🤡
Okay so here are my hater thoughts on King of Wrath. Please just scroll along if you liked this book, I am only speaking for myself.
First of all, when I bought this book, I knew better because I did not like the Twisted series by Ana Huang. I read three of them and quit 3/4ths of the way through with the book with the red head when [spoiler alert] the shitty romantic lead sexually assaulted the FMC for thin plot reasons I no longer care to remember.
But I am SUCH a sucker for an arranged marriage (as we all know), and I was in Kansas City in this three story Barnes and Noble and riding that Taylor Swift high that I let it cloud my better judgement.
My issues:
Dante is literally just two popular tropes in a trench coat. Dark haired and rich are his entirely personality. If you want to be charitable, you could tack on implausibly, compulsively violent. I'm sorry, but Dante is a BILLIONAIRE who was BORN into his wealth (strike one, but I'll let it go for the purposes of romance), in what world is he ACTUALLY killing people?? Be SO serious. This author wanted to give him an air of danger- baby just tell us what he pays his lowest skilled worker! You want me to believe this man is killing his enemies? LMAO I laughed out loud several times when Dante was making his threats.
Vivian is also personality-less. Oh, sure, she WANTS to have a personality but Huang absolutely REFUSES to do any showing. It's all telling. So I'm told Vivian is this badass working girl (not-like-other-girls because unlike all those OTHER heiresses, she WORKS god shut the fuck up- she spent 100k very casually in the course of a day, so like....which is it baby?) making her own way but then Dante shows up acting like the worlds biggest piece of shit and she's like, okay I guess I'll move in with you.
And I know someone is going to come in and say it was the cultural pressure that dragged her into this and I really wanted more of that. It gets touched on but like, so carefully like Huang was too afraid to really commit to her plot. Vivian is Asian-American, and we really dance around what that meant to her. There is a moment right at the end where her mother is discussing why their wealth will NEVER be enough for some people and I was like, oh finally here we go- but the mom is like, you know why. And Vivian is like, yeah, I know why. And that's the end of that! And of course, Dante is never asked to respect any of the cultural differences present, nor does he (threatening to take her dad down AGAIN was just like...oh so you learned NOTHING okay cool).
I think asking readers to believe a modern day arranged marriage was always going to be a tough sell and I wish Huang had really committed to it. She really doesn't, though- Dante is an asshole right up until the very end and one of the things I hate about Huangs MMC's is that they NEVER truly atone for their bad behavior. One of her MMC's stalks the love interest until she breaks down and then Dante is just like, "I miss you" "But I'm still threatening your dad" and Vivian folds like cardboard and ultimately, Dante got everything he wanted and only ever had to treat her well just long enough to get her down the aisle.
The closest this book every came to being self aware is when Vivian is like, we're bad for each other YEAH I AGREE. Like no chemistry AT ALL, the author really relies on Dante being hot (which we're told no less than 8 times a chapter) to do her heavy lifting. The smut is just mid, in my opinion- its not the worst thing, not the best thing, it just is.
Ultimately, Vivian and Dante have no personalities that we aren't told about, even if they directly contradict what we do see. This feels like a book written specifically to market the tropes/whats popular on booktok and so of course it's not good. It's got a few good lines I'll bet she used to market it, but everything in between reads like a first draft.
Would I recommend this? No. If you want to read it, should you? Sure. It's not going to harm you, I think you'll be like me and close it like, "well. thats done". Counts toward my reading goal.
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