#but more likely I'll see americans telling them to shut the fuck up. so.

[rotisseries]

my tiktok fyp is about to be so goddamn fucking annoying

[queen-of-reptiles]

𝚂𝙴𝙲𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚂

description: ona was finally where she had dreamed, she was back at barcelona with her best friend and loving every moment. only problem? she's dating her captain's younger sister, you.

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ona batlle x putellas!reader

part of the 'hidden' universe

part two here

part three here

mapi leon x bronze!reader here

disclaimer: this is all fiction do not take any of this seriously !

warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive - cuteness, queenie needing to use google translate because her Spanish is sub par! x

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y/n just posted

liked by alexiaputellas, taylorswift, and 13.9m others

y/n life dumppppp 💕💕

comments limited

alexiaputellas: Estoy muy orgulloso de ti hermanita!

so proud of you baby sister

^

y/n: ily !! 💕

lucybronze: The little one of me says you're cool!

^

y/n: tell her I miss her! 😔

blanca_suarez: my little daughter! 🙂

^

y/n: my movie mama!! 😙

florencepugh: I wanna see the photos of after you did that jump

^

y/n: shut up 😩

^

florencepugh: no

^

y/n: I'll fight you Flo

^

florencepugh: come at me pipsqueak !!

ona.batlle: Looks like fun ! 😌

^

y/n: Would be more fun with you here ;)

^

alexiaputellas: y/n, no flirting with my teammates.

^

y/n: awwww :(

MariaLeonn16: MISS YOU ! 💙

^

y/n: MISS BAGHEERA MORE 💙

^

MariaLeonn16: hmmpf.

see more comments...

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y/n hummed as she stepped around her kitchen, her fluffy socks keeping her feet warm from the cold tile, which was cold as she couldn't be bothered to put the heated floor on.

Her Persian cat, Milo, rubbed against her feet and she smiled, bending down to pick him up and press a kiss to his fluffy head before placing him back down.

y/n then moved over to the bowl of food she had ordered, smiling when her phone lit up with the familiar name which kept her warm for almost a year now.

"Hi baby!" y/n smiles, her Spanish accent not as thick as it used to be when she spoke English.

y/n had been in England for a few years now, on and off, and due to the fact she mainly spoke in English and acted with either English or Americans, y/n's accent had dulled slightly.

"Hola!" Ona called back.

The two had been secretly dating for nearly a year now. Why secretly? Because Ona's captain was Alexia Putellas. Alexia Putellas was y/n's sister. Her over-protective older sister.

The two were aware they were nothing short of fucked. They were aware of that. But the two had fallen in love while Ona was playing in Manchester and at the time, they couldn't keep away.

Now, their relationship existed of long phone calls and sneaky hook-ups when y/n came to see her as best she could, as well as trying to avoid flashing cameras and nosy people.

Truth is the only other person to know about them was Lucy Bronze's younger sister, and that was only because Ona and her were best friends and she was dating Mapi Leon in secret as well. They really were a group.

"How was training?" y/n asks Ona as she settles on the sofa, propping the phone up on a few cushions as she bought her bowl of noodles toward her.

"Aburrida, todo en lo que estaba pensando era en ti mi amor." Ona sighs and y/n chuckles.

Boring. All I was thinking about was you my love.

"Eres tan romántica!" y/n laughs at her girlfriend.

you're such a romantic.

"Do not pretend you do not love it, mi amor." Ona says and y/n hums.

"Well, I do love feeling the way you make me feel." y/n sighs jokingly and Ona's smile widens. "But, you should be paying attention in training." y/n finishes and Ona huffs.

"Ay! You are worse than Ale!" Ona states and y/n sighs. "What are you eating?" Ona then asks, trying to get the focus off of Alexia.

"Wagamama." y/n grinned, Milo jumping next to her and curling onto the sofa, his head resting on y/n's thigh.

"Milo." Ona cooed, the cat looking up and letting out a small meow as he blinked at Ona.

"Look, it's mama Milo." y/n says softly, placing her fork down to stroke at the cat's head. Ona smiles softly as Milo meows, Ona chuckling as she moves to get Coco, her own dog who pants excitedly at the sight of Milo.

Despite being and cat and a dog the two pets got on like siblings and y/n couldn't help but smile as Milo purred at the sight of his sibling.

The two facetimed for the rest of the evening, settling into bed a few hours later, both watching each other on their screens, wishing they were face to face instead of watching through a camera.

"What are you thinking about Amor?" Ona asks softly, noticing y/n had gone quiet.

"Quiero contarle a Ale sobre nosotras." y/n said quickly.

I want to tell Ale about us.

"¿Cómo? No no no no no." Ona begins and y/n sighs.

what?

"I know you're afraid." y/n begins. "¡Pero cariño, por favor! No puedo ocultar esto más."

But darling please, I can't hide this anymore.

"But Alexia!" Ona tries.

"I'll talk to her! Explain everything." y/n tries and Ona pauses. "Please Ona, I'm so sick of us hiding." She begs softly.

"Okay. Okay." Ona promises. "Por ti, mi amor, enfrentaré la tormenta Alexia por ti." She nods and a soft smile grows on y/n's face.

For you, my love, I will brave the storm Alexia for you.

"Thank you." y/n whispers. "I love you Ona." She promises and Ona smiles.

"I love you too amor." Ona promises.

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y/n just posted on her story

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y/n smiled softly as she opened Alexia's apartment with her spare key. Now on international break, the Barcelona captain was at home resting before having to go to national camp in three days.

At the sound of her door opening, Alexia stood up, pausing the most recent Barcelona game she was re-watching for notes and faced her door worriedly before her mouth dropped.

"¡Niñera!" Alexia called in shock.

Baby sister

"Hola Ale!" y/n called, pulling her suitcase to a stop as Alexia raced over. The taller girl pulling her into a tight hug which made y/n chuckle as she returned it.

"¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?" Alexia asked. "Ven, siéntate, ¿tienes hambre, sed?" Alexia rapidly questioned making y/n smile as her sister dragged her to the sofa.

What are you doing here? Come sit down, are you hungry, thirsty?

"Estoy bien, vine a ver los partidos de la liga de naciones." y/n explains.

I'm fine, I came to watch the nation league games.

Alexia makes a noise of understanding as she leans over and presses kisses over y/n's face, exclaiming how happy she was to see her and how beautiful she looked.

y/n laughed it off, telling her she was always too flattering to her, Alexia saying it was what an older sister did. The statement wracking y/n with guilt.

"Ale." y/n began. Alexia looking at her with furrowed brows, confused at her sister's shift in tone.

"Are you okay?" Alexia asks softly.

"I'm dating someone." y/n spills out. "And, hemos estado saliendo durante más de un año." y/n admits.

And we've been dating over a year.

"Oh." Alexia says softly, eyes softening as her sister ducks her head, fiddling with her fingers. "It's okay." She promises.

"Even if I hid it?" y/n asks quietly.

"I would like you to explain why for so long and who, but yes it is okay." Alexia promises.

"The who kind of explains the why." y/n admits and Alexia pauses. "Ale." She begins.

"Who?" She asks, though it was far more a demand. She repeats her demand.

"Ona." y/n says ducking her head.

"Hijo de puta." Alexia mutters.

motherfucker

y/n sighed, leaning forward and putting her head in her hands and her shoulders sagged. Her heart felt as if it was pushing into her throat and it made her sick.

y/n and Alexia had been close as children, the three sisters were best friends, and knew each other too well. They told each other everything, to the point where this would be the first time she had ever lied to either sister.

And even though she felt terrible for upsetting her older sister, for betraying her, there was something so relieving about finally admitting it.

Slowly, Alexia reached out and place a hand on y/n's shoulder, her warm and calloused palm so much kinder than what y/n felt she deserved as she looked up.

"No puedo negarlo y decir que no estoy herido, porque lo estoy. Preferiría que me lo hubieras dicho, pero entiendo que no quieras." Alexia begins, her voice soft.

I cannot deny and say I am not hurt, because I am. I would rather you had told me, but I understand you not wanting to.

y/n could have cried as she closed her eyes, feeling so guilty at hurting her sister with something that she couldn't have helped.

"¿La amas?" Alexia asked, her eyes full of understanding and kindness which calmed y/n's heart.

Do you love her?

"Más de lo que creía posible Ale. Ella lo es todo para mí, de verdad." y/n admits to her sister who lets out a sigh at the emotion in her voice.

More than I thought possible Ale. She's everything to me, truly.

Alexia sighed and wrapped her arm around y/n's shoulders, pulling her into her side as she lent her head onto y/n's own one, inhaling the smell of her shampoo.

"Entonces de acuerdo." Alexia sighs softly.

Then okay.

y/n's heart broke at that, how one person could be so good to her was beyond her thought, beyond her idea of humanity, but Alexia had once again, proved her wrong.

"Eres demasiado amable conmigo, eres demasiado amable conmigo." y/n repeats at her sister.

You are too kind to me, you are too kind to me.

"Esto no es bondad, esto es familia." Alexia says to her and y/n sighs.

This is not kindness, this is family.

The girl turns, wrapping her arms around her sister as she pulls herself snugly on-top of Alexia, clinging to her shoulders as she pressed kisses into the woman's hair.

"Thank you Ale." y/n said softly, repeating the words again and again.

"Oh mi pequeña princesa del drama. Eres tan mayor ahora." Alexia said softly.

Oh my little drama princess. You are so grown up now.

y/n said nothing, just continued to cling to Alexia as if she was 6 all over again and Alexia 14. The Barcelona captain couldn't help but enjoy the closeness.

It had been so long since they had hugged like this, the youngest Putellas always so busy, always moving, working and filming.

Eventually the two parted and Alexia sighed tucking a strand of her sister's hair behind her ear as she watched her.

"Do you and Ona plan to tell?" Alexia asks and y/n hums.

"I want to tell your team first, then we can think about everything else." y/n sighs. "Are you mad at her?" She then asks with a wince.

"Oh furious." Alexia nods, a smile on her face to show she wasn't really. "She treats you well?" She then asks and y/n smiles softly.

"She loves me just as I do her." y/n answers and Alexia smiles.

"So she loves you well." Alexia says and y/n nods. "Do you want to see her?" She asks and y/n hums.

"Tomorrow." y/n says before snuggling into her sister's side. "I want to spend the night with you." She says.

"I love that idea." Alexia sighs, pressing a kiss into her sister's hair.

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Tomorrow came far too quick for y/n's liking, before she knew it she was stood at Ona's door, flowers in hand as she waited for the patter of her lover's footsteps to open the door.

"¡Mi amor!" Ona yelled in shock, dragging y/n inside so no prying eyes could see.

y/n's hair was up in a bun, she was wearing a sweet summer dress due to how hot it was outside, however she also had shorts on underneath, because she knew what could happen once Ona knew they were out.

Ona smiled softly, taking the flowers from y/n's hands and placing them on the counter, before jumping at y/n. The woman sighed in relief, bringing Ona's legs around her waist as she wrapped her arms tightly around her.

"Oh my love." y/n said softly, breathing in the sweet scent of Ona's hair.

Ona buried her head into y/n's neck, pressing soft kisses against the skin which had y/n breathing shaking as she walked them to the sofa, sliding her shoes off as she went.

Coco immediately moved over to one of her discarded trainers and stuck his head in it, inhaling which made y/n roll her eyes at the dog fondly.

y/n sat back against the sofa, Ona quickly looking up and greedily connecting their lips, hands scattering around each other's bodies, re-familiarising themselves.

Ona's tongue dipped past y/n's lips, sweeping the inside of her mouth which caused a groan to slip from her. Ona giggled into the kiss, before they pulled away, both breathing deeply as they stared at one another.

Ona was in a white shirt, black shorts, her hair was pulled back and she looked like she had woken up just an hour ago. And to y/n, she had never looked more beautiful.

All their time apart meant these moment, Ona sat on her lap, hands combing over her shoulders lovingly, were all that more precious to y/n.

"How are you here?" Ona asked her softly, leaning forward to cuddle into her chest as y/n wraps her arms around her.

"He venido a ver los partidos." y/n explains softly.

I've come to watch the games.

"I'm so glad you're here." Ona sighs in relief, y/n holding onto her as she sighs.

"I have a confession Ona." y/n says softly and Ona sits up, y/n moving her off her lap and to the side she could face her.

"Amor?" Ona asks, worry flooding her voice.

"Ale knows." y/n says simply. "I told her." She adds.

Ona's face goes through several emotions, relief that this wasn't a break-up, fear of Alexia knowing, realisation that her captain was no aware and hurt that y/n hadn't warned her she would tell Alexia like that.

"Why?" Ona asks sadly.

"Because I want to be with you. In front of her." y/n says strongly and Ona's eyes fill with panic. "It's like we discussed Oni, please." y/n tries.

"Get out." She says softly. "Please go." Ona repeats.

"You said you would fight for me." y/n said softly.

"You didn't give me time to prepare." Ona tells her. "Alexia is my captain, and I am with her little sister, and instead of telling her together, you decided to tell her on you own." Ona continues.

"Because I knew I could keep her calm about us." y/n promises and Ona sighs.

"Please go. I need some time." Ona says softly and y/n blinks away tears before standing up and walking to the door, expecting Ona to call out, stop her. But she doesn't.

And y/n's heart breaks.

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END

Mapi part one will be out in three days ;) xox

[grisou-01]

MK1 Earthrealmers x French!Reader

Hello everyone here is a new x reader with the earthrealmers men ! :) So i'm basically french and i thought it would be funny to do a French reader with the mk1 character, I put the traduction to the french setence ( even if most of them are insults lol ) Again English is not my first language so sorry if there are any mistakes :( Let me know of you have any request for the next x reader :)

Since the day you were recruited as one of the champion you never told anyone where you were from. Not that you were ashamed or anything but you didn't felt the urge of telling everyone that you were not a real American like Johnny for example. You lived in this country for now 3 years so your accent was practicly undetectable for anyone outside french speakers. It was easy for you to hide it since you didn't lived in France anymore.

But there is one thing that could make your "French side" rise again. When you were reallyyyy pissed off or more generaly when you had really strong emotions. To be honest you didn't really knew what made you drop the act : Was it Kung Lao's huge ego? Or perhaps Johnny's constant flirting? Or Bi-Han's stubbornness and coldness? Maybe it was even the humble demeanour of Raiden and Liu Kang? Or maybe it was the constant winning at the spars of Tomas and Kuai Liang and their constant quarrels with Bi-Han? Or is it Kenshi's obession for Sento and his constant fight with Johnny ? You will never know. You thought you were the only one normal here. But what happened during the meal was the straw that broke the camel's back. So you the other champions , Liu Kang and the 3 Lin Kuei brothers were eating after a long day of intense training. It was pretty peacefull , until Johnny started to tease Kenshi about Sento and when Tomas tried to intervene he begin to get scold by Bi-Han for whatever reason, Kuai Liang tried to calm his brother but he began to yell at him too, and then Kung Lao entered in Johnny and Kenshi's fight, Raiden tried to stop him but it only maked them fight even louder. Only Liu Kang remained calm trying to stop both arguments. But it was inneficient. You continued to eat, trying to remain calm, to not just snap at everyone, but hearing everyone yell make it very hard. So after 1 minutes that felt like hour you just yelled without even taking your eyes off your food

"BON QUAND EST CE QUE VOUS ALLEZ TOUS FERMER VOS PUTAINS DE GUEULES ?" [ Trad : SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP? ]

As you Yelled every eyes were now on you. They didn't understood a single word, or maybe Liu Kang since he could basically speak every language after eons of living. But seeing you snap like that was very unexpected. Bi-Han who even when he did not understood a single words didn't liked to be yelled at tried to snap back "Who do you think you are to yell like this ?! I am the Grandmaster of-" During his little speech Your eyes finally looked away from your food and went directly at his direction. And before he could even finish you snapped a second time "J'EN AI RIEN A FOUTRE DE CE QUE TU DIS ! SERIEUX TU TE PRENDS POUR QUI A PARLER COMME CA A TOUT LE MONDE COMME CI ON ETAIT TES CHIENS ?" [Trad : I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU SAY! SERIOUSLY, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TALKING LIKE THAT TO EVERYONE AS IF WE WERE YOUR DOGS?]

And for the first time in a long time. Bi-Han. Didn't answered anything. Well he couldn't because he didn't understood a thing about your speech. And that's when Johnny finally talked "Doll , you didn't told us you were French ?!" He said a bit stunned. You turned to face him and raised an eye brow "It wasn't necessary, so I didn't told you." You muttered. Everyone was pretty much stuned by how quickly you just became calm again. "So you're one of those Oui Oui Baguette-" Johnny said "La baguette je te la fous dans ton cul, serieux Johnny, vas te faire foutre avec tes clichés a la con la !" [Trad : "I'll stick the baguette up your arse, seriously Johnny, fuck off with your stupid clichés!"] You said as you looked at him with a pissed off face. But as you finished to spoke Liu Kang gave you a disappointed look at your talking maner. "Y/N Even if they don't understand you, It doesn't mean you can insult and talk down to them" "Oui oui pardon monsieur" [Trad : yeah yeah sorry sir]

you said as you quickly looked away. Everything was suddenly silent but then Kung Lao who had began to eat again said "How's the food in your country, i heard you had the best gastronomy !" "Well it's not bad our pastries are excellent but i don't know if you'de like frogs ' legs and snail" Kung Lao took a moment and said "Well if you'de like to to do one of this dishes, i can't say i would be bothered" you chuckled sligthly of course the only thing that would come in mind would be the food. "So i'm finally not the only European here" Tomas said with a slight grin on his face, you smirked and nodded amused by his demeanor. Bi-Han continued to give you a look filled with hatred, at least that's what you thinked because deep down he was impressed that someone (even if he didn't comprehend a damn thing) snapped back at him, it wasn't often at all that he was put in his place. And he couldn't say he didn't liked it (But he will never admit it). Kuai Liang, just looked at you with an impressed look, first you stuned his brother to the point that he didn't answered anything and second he had to admit that hearing you talking in French was pretty hot. He had a sly smirk on his face that you didn't missed to see. Raiden and Kenshi looked at each other then at you, Raiden said hesitantly

"How did you manage to hide this ? It's not likes it a big deal you could have told us" a soft smile appeared on your lips as he questionned you "Like i said i didn't felt it was necessary plus it wouldn't have changed anything !" You answered, Raiden gave you and understanding nod, you were right, what would it have changed? But still it was like they didn't knew you ? In fact you didn't talk about you that much ! Raiden thinked as he continued to look at you. Kenshi just looked at you with an understanding look too, like you he was from another country too. So he understood that you didn't felt the urge to tell them about this. "Well you could have at least told your favorite person here Sweetheart !" Johnny said as he winked at you . Amused by his words you just rolled your eyes. Then you just stood up and took your plate to put it to the dishes and said "Well this was very tiring day, i'm going to sleep, Bonne nuit tout le monde !" [Trad : Good night everyone] You waved at them with now a slight french accent as you spoke. You turned back and walked away from the dinning room to go to your room.

Leaving them all still stunned by the event that just happened. Liu Kang had a soft smile on his lips and stood up too before saying goodnight to everyone and walked away too. It was nice that you finally said your little "secret" even if it wasn't a big one. Things would be much simpler now. The champions and the Lin Kuei bros just continued to eat in silence, but everyone had a slight smile on their face. You were an interesting person. To say the least.

Let me know if you enjoyed it ! :]

[ihave-atummyache]

do u like chase atlantic?

Stray Kids Imagine

OT8

summary: chase atlantic x skz

NSFW!!! drugs, alcohol, sex, toxicity

trigger warnings: abuse of drugs a little bit, use of recreational drugs but not much emphasis on exactly what drug.

angsty, fluffy, toxic, some sweetness

6.8k words

(u don’t have to know the song to understand the story)

Bang Chan- OHMAMI

Call Maria, lets get drunk

I haven't been out for a month

Got a two-liter in the back and another bottle in the trunk

Columbian gold in the front seat

The foreign girls showing me love

Telling your friends that you hate me

But I know that you can't get enough

—

"Come on, Chris. You haven't went out with us in weeks! We're in America, for Christ's sake. We're destined to have a good time," Felix whines at the foot of Chan's bed. He glances up at Felix from his computer than back down. The use of the name “Chris” definitely catches his attention.

"If I go out, will you leave me alone all day tomorrow so I can get this done?" he raises his eyebrows at his younger friend who rolls his eyes in response.

"Yes… Well, probably not. But Scout's honor," he holds up three fingers before continuing, "I will try by best," he smiles and Chan can't help but to laugh.

"America is rubbing off on you. Fine. Let me get ready," Chan closes the laptop and Felix bounds out of the room, excited to tell Han and Hyunjin that he finally got Chan to come out.

What he wasn't expecting when he walked into the club, was seeing you. A familiar face but on a stranger. The same girl he had been practically obsessed with for the entire American leg of their last tour.

You were different though. Expensive jewelry hung from your neck and adorned your delicate wrists and fingers. What have you been doing since he last saw you? What had you been doing for the last year since you two parted ways.

He know it was no more than a hookup that he had gotten unreasonably close to but still, you had a hold on him that was unexplainable. He dragged you on the tour with them for the duration of the rest of the American portion then, he practically ghosted you.

"Y/n?" His voice fills your ears, his accent thick with every letter of your name. You snap your head towards him, your eyes locking with his. Before you can reply, however, a girl steps in front of him, drawing his attention from you for just long enough for you to slide off the bar stool and disappear into the dancing crowd.

"Why the fuck is he here?" You speak to yourself and an arm is slung over your shoulder, stopping you from taking anymore steps. You turn your head and meet eyes with the guy you came here with.

"Where are you going?" he questions, a slight slur in his voice. After seeing Chan, this guy suddenly seems far less appealing. He doesn’t have the sexy accent or the kind eyes. Hell, his body isn’t even half as godly as Chan’s.

"This asshole I haven't seen in a year just happened to be at this bar. I can't stand him. Just seeing him makes me wanna hurl," you grumble and run your hand through your hair before turning to your date.

"Wanna dance?" You question but before he can reply, someone has their hand wrapped around your wrist and is pulling you to the edge of the crowd. You look down and recognize the cuban link bracelet instantly. Chan.

You let him pull you until you're outside of the club then you finally snatch your wrist from his grip. You bring it up to your chest, rubbing slightly at the dull string.

"What the hell? I'm literally here on a date! What could you possibly want?" you exclaim and he takes a deep breath before turning to face you.

"Why did you run from me?" His voice is gentle, it almost has an undertone of guilt in it. Good. He should be guilty.

"Fuck you, Christopher. You fucked my head up. You fucked my heart up and you fucked me up. I'll never be the same because of you," you spit at him and take a step towards him, closing the space.

"Y/n. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Oh, please, shut the hell up. It's too late," you growl at him and turn towards the parking deck where your car is. Honestly, just him being here was enough to ruin your night and you wanted nothing more than to just go home.

"Y/n, wait. Baby, please. Can we just talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Chris. I hate you. I'm sure you know that by now. Seeing as the amount of my friends that you reached out to while trying to contact me," you reach your car quickly, luckily you parked on the first level.

Chan freezes when he sees your car. Ferrari? Since when have you been able to afford this? He approaches the other side of the car at the same time you unlock it and pulls the door open.

His eyes practically fall from his head when he sees what's sitting in the front seat of the car. Was that... drugs? Had you been selling drugs?

The expensive jewelry, the expensive car, the suspicious and sleazy looking man you were with.

"Are you a drug dealer? What the fuck?" His voice is much louder than it should be and you quickly get into the driver side of the car.

"Shut up, you idiot. You want to call the police and tell them about it too? Fuck off," you snap at him and reach across the car, pulling the door closed and locking them before pulling out the parking spot and leaving him in the vacant place.

Did he really fuck you up this bad?

Lee Know- Church

And I'll keep leading you on

If you keep leading me into your room

The drinks are all gone

But that's fine, baby, so am I

I'm about to take you back to church

Well, tell me your confessions, baby, what's the worst? Yeah

Baptise in your thighs 'til it hurts

'Cause I'm about to take you back to church

I'll keep you up until the sunset

Speaking in tongues, yeah, we ain't done yet, yeah

"Y/n, you sound like an idiot. He's a dog. You're being just as naïve as all the other girls he has led on!" You friend exclaims and you turn away from her to glance down at your phone again.

minho: can I come over?

You let out a sigh. Maybe she's right. Maybe it was just because of the amount of wine you had been drinking but you suddenly found the confidence to just leave him on read.

"I just feel like I need him so bad. I can't explain it but... I don't know. Maybe I am an idiot," you trail off and drop back on the bed, the half empty bottle of wine tight in your grip.

"He's just no good. You need to give him a taste of his own medicine! He's toxic! He want you at his every beck and call and you always reply. Maybe if you just-" she gets cut off when your phone starts ringing loudly between the two of you.

You grab your phone from the bed and pull it up to your face before letting out a groan. You slide the phone and press answer, putting it on speaker phone.

"Come open the door," Minho's deep voice echoes out of the phone's speaker before you can say a word and you peak over at your best friend, who is just as confused as you.

"Minho I didn't say you could come over," you reply and he scoffs on the other side of the line, obviously annoyed with your lack of cooperation.

"Baby, I've been drinking. Just let me in so I don't have to drive drunk. I'll sober up and leave. I'm already here and my place is too far. Plus, I can't find a ride right now," You groan and sit up in the bed. When you throw your legs over the side and stand, you feel much more warm and fuzzy than you did when you were laying down.

"Lucky for you, it appears I'm a bit buzzed too," You grumble out and then hang up the phone.

"Don't seriously tell me you're letting that asshole in our house," your best friend complains from beside you and you let out a laugh at her face.

"Okay. This is the last time. I'm seriously done after this. I just need to get his magic mouth and fingers and co-"

"Okay! Stop. I don't need the visual right now. Just get to the point," your best friend cuts you off and you chuckle, walking towards the front door and she follows you.

"It's gonna be like goodbye sex. It's just so good..." you trail off and then exhale deeply before pulling your front door open. You hear your best friend mumble something along the lines of “all this to get your dick wet” behind you, but you don’t comment on her statement. Minho looks heavenly, leaning on the wall across from your apartment door and chewing on what looks like a straw from the bar.

"Hi," you breathe out and he pushes off the wall to walk towards you. You move to the side to let him in and he slings and arm over your shoulder before eyeing your best friend.

"Hey," the smug smirk on his face is enough to make you roll your eyes and she narrows her eyes at him. They aren't too fond of each other and both know it.

"Oh fuck off, Minho and fuck you," she spits at him and he chuckles. You start guiding him towards your room and he looks at your best friend again with that cocky smirk.

"The only one getting fucked tonight is y/n," he replies, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"Minho!" You object before pushing him into your room and slamming the door behind you. He really is shitty and you know it but God, the things he can do with his body and the way he looks is just heavenly.

He walks to your bed before plopping down and laying back. You slowly approach the bed and he glances over at you.

"Sit on my face, princess. I've been thinking about your pussy on my tongue all night. I need your thighs on either side of my head while I drown in you," he says it so nonchalantly, letting out a sigh but you just stare at him for a moment before he glances back at you.

"Come on, baby. I know you want to leave me. Let me prove to you how I can worship this body like no other man will be able to. Let me make you want to stay," he's practically begging which is very uncharacteristic of him and you approach him slowly. He sits up when you reach him and reaches towards you, pulling your shorts down your legs.

He gently kisses up your thigh before planting two more on either one of your hip bones. He grips your hips, his thumbs rubbing over the same spot his lips just were. He begins to fall back again, pulling you with him until he has pulled you over his face.

"The only thing I want you to remember is my name. If that means making you cum over and over until the sun comes up, then that's what I'll do," his voice is low and he suddenly pulls you down, his warm mouth making contact with your pussy that he has been craving all night.

Changbin- Friends

And what the hell were we?

Tell me we weren't just friends

This doesn't make much sense, no

But I'm not hurt, I'm tense....

"Binnie? are you home?" Your voice cracks over the phone and Chnagbin immediately sits up in the chair at your tone.

"I'm at the studio. What's going on? Are you alright?" His voice is full of concern and you feel more tears well up behind your eyes.

"Even closer. Is it okay if I come see you? Just for a little bit. I..." you trail off, taking a deep breath, "I have had a bad night and I just want to see you," your voice softens and he feels a small smile make its way to his face.

"Of course. I'll meet you in the lobby," he confirms and stands from his chair to make his way down to where he knows you're walking in. It'll be easier for him to guide you in personally since you don't have a visitor pass.

When the elevator dings, your head immediately snaps towards the sound. Changbin walks off the elevator, looking the epitome of relaxed and sexy. You gulp as you let your eyes drag down the shirt around his buff arms.

"Have you been crying?" His voice echos in your head as he closes the gap between you two. You reach up and gently touch your cheek. You find dry residue, obvious evidence of tears. When had you cried? You know you wanted to but you didn’t realize that you actually had.

"I guess I have been," you reply, your voice completely deflated and he wraps his arms around your shoulders tightly. You don't have the energy to hug him back and instead let out a sigh, allowing your head to fall into his neck.

You close your eyes and take a deep inhale. His scent instantly invades your senses and relaxes you. You have been best friends for years and sometimes just being with him is enough to calm you.

"Come on," he wraps an arm around your shoulders and guides you to the elevator. The entire ride is silent. You were completely caught in your head by your own thoughts. You barely even notice when you're gently guided to sit on the couch. Changbin sits beside you and grabs your hands in your lap, making you turn to face him.

He closes the few inches in front of you and presses his lips to yours. You sigh into the familiarity of the kiss and let your hands squeeze his tighter.

"Y/n, what happened? You can tell me," he whispers, carefully choosing his words in case you start crying again.

"Do you think I'm a slut?" you ask suddenly and he immediately drops his eyebrows to a furrow, shaking his head.

"What are you…" he cuts himself off and you run your hand through your hair messily, letting out a low cuss under your breath as more angry tears spring to your eyes.

"I was on a date and this guy... fuck! And this guy tried to kiss me. I swerved it and he went off on me. Telling me about how he only asked me on a date for some ass. Claiming that I fucked his friend last week and- why are you looking at me like that?" You interrupt yourself when you notice how tense Changbin has become.

"You fucked someone else? You went on a date?" Changbin questions, suddenly becoming much more angry than he was before he said the words out loud.

"Yes? Why wouldn't I?" He snatches his hands from yours and stands, walking towards his desk and leaning over it. He slams his fist down, making a few pencils drop to the ground and making you jump from your spot behind him.

"Binnie, are you-"

"Don't." He whips his body around to face you, pointing an accusatory finger at you, "Don't fucking call me that. What the fuck, y/n? We have been fucking each other for months. How many other people were you fucking?" His voice is suddenly loud and you're sure it would be echoing throughout the hallway if you weren't in the studio.

"Wait... Changbin. We're best friends. It isn't supposed to be exclusi-"

"Best friends.” he scoffs before continuing, “Maybe you are a slut. One cock isn't enough for you that you had to go let yourself be fucked by however many other people?" His words are laced with venom and you blink at him a few times before standing up and grabbing your bag.

"Fuck you, Changbin." You spit out before storming from the room.

Hyunjin- HEAVEN AND BACK

She's high

She lives in the sky

Tonight, she's satisfied

Rolling back her eyes

But then she starts to cry

Everything is turning to black

All in one night

She just went to heaven and back

"Fuck, Jinnie. Don't stop," you moan out, pushing your friend(?) and his heavenly tongue deeper between your legs. His tongue had been ravishing for what felt like hours but also felt so good, like nothing you have ever felt before. Although it felt like hours, it had only been a few minutes.

His licks a long stripe up your sopping cunt before kissing up your body and stops at your nipples, taking one into his mouth and using his fingers to play with the other.

"N-no more teasing. Just fuck me already. Please?" you whimper out and he chuckles pushing back onto his heels and lining himself up with your entrance. His slowly pushes in, causing you both to let out a groan at the feeling.

"Fuck, darling. You feel so fucking good wrapped around me," he groans out, his head falling back in pure pleasure and absolute ecstasy. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he slowly picks up the pace.

Suddenly, he bottoms out and you yelp, immediately beginning to shake at the feeling. It was borderline painful but you also felt so full and it’s felt so good.

"Yeah. You like that, don't you?" he asks again and you nod mindlessly, already feeling like you've reached the clouds. Hyunjin feels like he could die a happy man, completely content being balls deep in your perfect cunt, made just for him.

He drops to his elbows on either side of your head and you instinctively wrap your own arms around his neck. He grabs your chin and gently pulls your face towards him, making your eyes pop open. His eyes meet yours and then he suddenly stops, complete silence falling in the air.

"Are you high?" he suddenly asks and you blink at him a few time, opening your mouth to reply but he sits up, falling back onto his heels and pulling out of you. You shiver at the loss of warmth and sit up on your elbows to look at him.

"Hyunjin, it isn't-"

"Don't tell me it isn't what I think. I see you more fucked up than sober nowadays, fuck. Do you not see that you have a fucking problem? I ask you to be sober for one fucking night and you can't even do it. This is pitiful, y/n," his voice is full of anger and you don't even think he notices the way he's switching between languages, making your brain spin.

"Baby, pick a language. I can't follow what you're saying," you sit up and reach forward to cup his cheek but he pulls away from your touch, stands, and pulls his pants up his legs then his hoodie over his head.

You feel the tears immediately come to your eyes and start to pour down your cheeks. You don’t even really know why you’re crying. Maybe it’s because this moment between the two of you got ruined or maybe it’s because you can tell how pissed he is at you.

"Baby what are you-"

" 'Baby, this. Baby, that'. Just stop talking. Stop. Fucking. Talking," His voice raises and more tears pour from your eyes. You hurriedly grab the t shirt you were wearing from the floor, which happens to be his, and pull it over your head.

"I don't understand why you're so mad. This doesn't have anything to do with you! It doesn't effect you," your voice is slightly shaky but you finish the sentence nonetheless, making him scoff and run his hands down his face.

"Because I fucking love you. I love you more than anything and I want you to love yourself even half as much as I do," his voice is quieter again and you bring your face down to your hands as the tears keep pouring from your eyes.

"Why are you crying?" His voice breaks you from your quiet sobs and you look up. He's already looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Are you leaving me?" you ask quietly and he sighs, looking at the door then back at you again.

"We aren't together. How could I leave someone I never had in the first place," he walks towards you and tilts your chin up. He uses his sleeves to wipe the tears from your soaked cheeks and you just look up at him, eyes bloodshot and dilated.

"I'm so disappointed in you, angel. I thought I meant more to you than your substances but it seems I can't compete," a sad smile covers his face and he exhales gently before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You quickly reach out and wrap your arms around his waist.

"You do, Jinnie. I'm okay. I promise. I can stop when I want," you swear to him but he doesn't reply. He grabs both of your arms from behind his back and pries you off of him before taking a few steps back.

"I'll wait for you, y/n. In the future, when you love yourself, come find me," he replies before turning and walking towards the door. You quickly throw yourself from the bed and chase after him.

"Hyunjin! Wait! I-I-" you're interrupted by your front door slamming shut in front of your face.

Han- Meddle About

Cause it's not just a figure of speech

You got me down on my knees

It's getting harder to breathe out

We only met each other just the other day

But you already got me feeling some type of way

Now if I could figure it out

I'd take you back to my house

So we could meddle about

Jisung's breath hitches in his throat when he sees you at the bar. His heart immediately starts pounding in his chest and he turns away, locking eyes with Chan next to him.

"That's her. She's right there at the bar, hyung. What do I do?" Jisung feels like his heart might actually leap out of his chest. Chan glances over at the bar but he can't figure out exactly who Jisung is talking about.

"Leather skirt. Mesh shirt," Jisung whispers to Chan, still not turning to look at you. Chan can't stop the chuckle from falling from his lips.

"You really are down bad. You looked at her for a total of 3 seconds and know exactly what she has on. Any other details you noticed?" he teases and nudges Jisung but he's too thrown off to realize Chan is joking.

"Red lipstick, red hair clip," he adds on and Chan's mouth drops open. He's never seen his friend so infatuated over a girl in all their years of knowing each other. What had you done to him?

"Would it freak you out if I said she's heading this way or would that be a good thing?" Chan leans over to whisper to his friend. Jisung's eyes grow wide but before he can reply, your honey voice rips through the music at the club.

"Hi, Jisung. It's good to see you," your voice went straight to his cock and he can't help remembering all the filthy things you had said to him the other night. The things you were whispering in his ear while he was balls deep in you.

"H-Hi. How are you?" He clears his throat and you giggle, sitting yourself down next to him as your friend sits on the other side of Chan, making a friend of her own to give you and Jisung a bit more privacy.

"I've been thinking about you," he suddenly blurts out and instantly regrets it when your perfect eyebrows shoot up in surprise but the look is instantly replaced with a smug smirk.

He's so fucking cute.

"Oh? What have you been thinking about?" you inquire and wrap your lips around your straw. Jisung can't stop himself of looking. He remembers the way those same lips were wrapped around him. The way he was down your throat. The way your perfectly manicured hands were rubbing him in a way in which nobody had, not even himself.

He gulps deeply and glances at your eyes again. Your’s are already trained on his. His big, sparkly, chocolate, doe eyes had you in a chokehold like no other. You wanted nothing more than to bring him to tears again and he wanted nothing more than for you to bring him to tears again.

"Everything. You've invaded my mind," he suddenly confesses, a bit of a dazed look in his eyes. You let out a light chuckle as you lean over, placing your glass on the table. Jisung's eyes trail over your back and then he finally eyes your legs, stunning thighs and calves. He wants to worship you so badly, show you exactly how you should be treated.

"Oh really? Does it bother you that I've invaded your mind?" you ask, sweetly before resting your hand on his knee. You turn towards him and rest your other arm on the back of the couch, letting your head fall into your hand. You look almost bored, not entertained by Jisung in the slightest but you know that the slick in your panties was an indicator of just how much this boy had also invaded your mind.

He gulps again and adjusts in his seat. You let your hand fall from your head and reach forward, gently playing with the longer hair at the base of his skull.

"As pretty as you are, my Jisungie, I asked you a question," you speak up and let your hand gently trail up the back of his head until your fingers dig into his head and you tug on his hair, rough enough that it definitely hurt but not rough enough for anyone to notice.

"Do you like that I have invaded your mind, my pretty boy?" you ask again and scoot closer, placing a wet kiss to his throat. You pull away and the slight red residue from your lipstick makes you smile to yourself.

"Yes. I like it," he replies and you look up into his glazed over eyes again before releasing your grip slightly in his hair and your other hand makes it's way up his thigh more before brushing lightly against his bulge. His takes a sharp inhale of breath and you chuckle.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, mommy," his reply is instant and almost pathetic. Gosh, you want nothing more than to just have him on his knees for you again, begging to eat your pussy.

Felix- Consume

She said, "Careful, or you'll lose it"

But girl, I'm only human

And I know there's a blade where your heart is

And you know how to use it

And you can take my flesh if you want, girl

Felix knows she isn’t his. That doesn’t stop him from feeling green (GREENGREEN lol) with jealousy. Seeing you wrapped around someone else, your tongue down some strangers throat that he has never seen before.

“Lix, calm down,” Hyunjin’s voice sounds from behind him but Felix doesn’t even pay the man a glance.

“It’s not fair. She’s mine,” Felix groans out and Hyunjin pats him on the back before looking over to Minho with a ‘help me’ look in his eyes. Minho clears his throat before leaning towards the pair so they can hear him over the party’s music.

“If she’s your’s, then why are his hands all over her ass?” Minho’s voice is casual and Hyunjin swears he could have slapped him in that moment.

“You dumbass! That isn’t what he needs to hear!” Hyunjin practically yells but after at his older friend, though it’s all background noise to Felix. He stands abruptly and marches over to you. He puts his hands in the back of your jeans and pulls you away from the man who is standing dazed by your lips.

“Piss off, mate,” Felix’s voice is full of anger and jealousy and the man blinks at him once before scurrying away. You let your body lay back slightly, resting against Felix’s chest. His hand instinctively wraps around your waist and his hand splays possessively across ur stomach.

“Lixie. I’ve missed you,” as soon as your voice makes it’s way to his ears, he feels like he could melt into you. You have him absolutely wrapped around your finger and you know it. He knows that you know it and just lets you use him in whatever way you want.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” he pulls you tighter against him, “Who the hell was that?” Felix’s deep voice rings through your ear and he places a gently kiss just below your ear.

“Mm. Forgot. I just wanted your attention,” you confess and push back against Felix, your ass bumping against his cock, begging to be in you.

“Well you have it. I should fuck you right here so you remember who you belong to, sweet girl,” he grumbles into your ear before sucking slightly on the same spot he had just kissed, leaving a hickey, marking his territory.

“Oh, my love, you know I don’t belong to anyone but myself. We’ve been over this,” you turn in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. He tucks both of his hands in the back pockets of your jeans as you make eye contact.

You reach up and tuck his hair gently behind his ear before leaning in and pressing your lips against his, he immediately kisses you back and licks the seam of your lips, asking for entrance. You let his tongue into your mouth and he immediately pulls away.

He can taste a liquor on your breath that he knows for a fact you don’t like, then he remembers why he stormed over here in the first place.

“I can taste that fucker on your breath,” he growls out and you chuckle, only making him angrier.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey. Do you want me to brush my teeth or are you just going to kiss me until all his taste is gone? It’s your choice,” you reply and twist his hair around your fingertips gently.

He probably looks pitiful right now to any onlookers. He probably looks like some guy who is completely whipped by a girl that doesn’t even want him and just had her tongue down some different guy’s throat. But honestly, Felix couldn’t care less.

He presses his lips against yours again and you kiss for a few minutes before you grab his hand and place it over your racing heart.

“If I give you a piece of this, will you be careful with it?” You ask, touching your forehead against his before pulling back and looking into his eyes again.

“Give me the whole thing and I promise I won’t lose it. I’ll be careful,” he swears, no trace of a smile on his face.

He wants nothing more than to have just a tiny corner of your heart since you were already taking up the entirety of his.

Seungmin- Tidal Wave

Passion drippin' off the wall, baby

Damn, you make it easy

And drop a little acid on our tongues, baby

We can make it freaky

Don't you think about turning the lights out

I want them to see this

And I say fuck the rules and let 'em find out

But that's just how I'm feelin'

“S-slow down (wink). I c-can’t stay quiet like this,” you whimper out but your boyfriend doesn’t listen. Instead, he leans forward, his chest pressed to your back and his cock impossibly deep in you.

You can’t stop the groan that leaves your mouth, a mix of pleasure and pain forcing the noise from you. He places a kiss on the back of your shoulder then sits up again. His hands gently rub down the arch of your back. The beauty that is you is truly out of this world and he can’t help but just look sometimes.

“Minnie, move,” your voice is whiny and Seungmin lets out a deep chuckle behind you.

“I thought you wanted me to slow down. Now you want me to speed up? Needy little thing, aren’t ya?” his voice is laced with a condescending tone and you clench around him. He suddenly pulls out completely and in one quick motion he flips you to your back and scoots down the bed, his head between your legs.

“What are you doing?” you question, your voice slightly shaky from the constant teasing.

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m going to eat this pretty little pussy until you have no choice but to scream for me,” He raises his eyebrows at you as a blush radiated up your neck and to your face.

“But… they’ll hear. They’ll know,” you whisper shout at him. His band mates were scattered throughout the house. If you get quiet enough, you could hear them. From what you could tell, two of them seemed to be playing some kind of video game together and another was in the kitchen, listening to music and probably cleaning.

“Good. That’s fine with me,” he suddenly replies and plunges a finger into you. Your back arches off the bed and you bite down on your lip to stop the moan.

“B-but you said-”

“I changed my mind. After seeing the way they were looking at your ass in those pants today, I want to make it clear to them that you belong to me and nobody else,” he speaks up and glances down at where his finger is knuckle deep in your pussy before adding another finger.

His lingering gaze makes you nervous and you subconsciously close your thighs, trying to hide yourself from him. This quickly earns you a gentle slap to the inside of your thigh and a firm grip prying your legs back open.

“Why are you looking so much? Let’s turn the lights off. I’m getting shy,” you mumble out which causes a smug smile to break across your boyfriend’s face.

“Never. I love looking at this sweet cunt. All mine too, isn’t that right, baby?” he asks as he slowly begins to pump his fingers in and out of you. You groan and bite down on your lip again but Seungmin moves his hand from it’s spot on your thigh and pulls your lip from between your teeth. He pats your cheek, not enough to be considered a slap but definitely a warning.

“I asked you a question, pup. Don’t tell me my babydoll is already fucked out. I haven’t even made you scream yet,” he gives a fake pout and you groan again.

“All your’s baby. I’m all yours,” you ramble as he speeds his fingers up inside of you.

“Who do you belong to? Say my name.” He demands as he starts to curl his fingers inside of you. He leans forward and licks your clit, making you jump at the contact and he chuckles, the vibrations ricocheting throughout your body.

“Fuck, Seungmin,” you moan out and he slaps the outside of your thigh before kneading the flesh and pulling his mouth away slightly.

“Louder, princess,” he commands and dives back in. He feels you clench around him before suddenly you’re cumming all over his face and fingers.

“Seungmin! Fuck. Don’t stop. Feels so good!” You finally scream out as you grind your face against his tongue, riding out your high.

“Call me what you like to call me,” he demands, another shit eating, smug grin on his face. His fingers are still pumping in and out of you and starting to send you into overstimulation.

“Mmm, daddy! Please slow down! ‘S too much,” you slur your words together and a smirk covers his face as he kisses each of your thighs then climbs back up your body, slowly pulling his soaking wet fingers from inside of you.

“Now I’m going to fuck you and I want you to keep screaming my name just like that. I don’t even want them to think about ever looking at what’s mine again,” he bites down on the skin covering your collarbone, making you buck your hips against him.

“Do I make myself clear?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes and you nod. He raises his eyebrows at you, a warning, “Words, darling. Use your words,” he adds on and you clear your throat

“Yes, sir. Crystal clear,” you nod and her kisses you gently on the forehead before sinking back into you, your wet cunt pulling him with ease.

I.N- Right Here

It's happening again

Well, I don't give a fuck about your friends

I'm right here, here

Oh baby take a look around

I'm the only one that hasn't walked out

I'm right here, here

Hearing the door slams makes you jump at your spot on the couch. You weren't expecting your boyfriend today, but he's the only one who knows your code so it has to be him.

"Innie?" your voice echos. You hear him slip his shoes off before you see your boyfriend walk into the room you're in. His hair looks disheveled like he had been running his hands through it and his face looks wild.

"Innie? What's wrong? What happened?" You immediately snap your book closed and turn your body towards him. He runs his hands through his hair and that's when you notice the bruises on his hands and arms.

"Yang Jeongin. What happened to you?" You jolt up from your seat and walk towards him. You grab him by the elbow and pull him towards the kitchen, flipping the light on as you enter. You turn again and look over your boyfriend's hands.

"Have you been fighting?!" You exclaim and finally meet his eyes. They're unusually cold, the subtle shine when he usually looks at you no where in sight.

"I heard that jackass talking about you. Your ex," his words have a bite behind them and he clenches his jaw. He had seen your ex? He only knows of one ex, he would only recognize the face of one of your exes.

He's a more recent ex. You two only dated for about five months but he took well to the friend group so he has kind of stuck around since you broke up. You ended things amicably and besides it being awkward for a few hangouts with everyone, the two of you were able to put the relationship behind you and be around each other comfortably.

"What does he have to do with anything? Was it him? You fought him?" You start rattling off questions, studying his expressionless face.

"I did," his reply is curt and his eyes finally meet yours again. You have shock all over your face. This can't be happening.

"Jeongin! Your reputation, your career. You have things to worry about. Why would you even fight that guy?" your voice is shaky as you try to organize your thoughts and understand exactly what could have sent him over the edge.

"He was talking to that girl he's been dating. You should've heard him, y/n. God! I fucking hate that guy. If I ever get my hands on him again, I swear I'll k-"

"Stop!" You interrupt him and slap your hand over his mouth to stop his words, "What was he saying? I still don't understand, baby," you use the pet name in hopes that it'll help calm him down. His eyes soften slightly and you pull your hand from his mouth.

"He was talking about how uptight you are. And calling you a bitch and all kinds of names. Told her that you 'gave up your pussy for any man that had a black card'. As if his money isn’t all daddy’s money. That piece of shit hasn't worked for anything in his life," he slams the side of his fist against the wall.

He turns to you again and places his hands over your shoulders but you're staring into space. He said all that about you? Why would he say that? You thought the two of you ended on good terms so what's with the shit talk now?

"Listen to me, babe. You don't need them. You only need me. You always catch them hanging out without you and talking shit. Fuck them. Just me and you. Is that okay? Does that sound good?" His voice is almost pleading and you meet his eyes again. You feel hurt about what he's telling you but at the same time...are you surprised?

"Okay," your voice is barely more than a whisper and Jeongin places his finger under your chin, tilting your head to face him.

"Okay," he replies and places his forehead against your's. You let out a shaky breath then he places both hands on your cheeks and presses his lips to yours.

Jeongin can’t help the feeling of satisfaction in finally having you completely to himself. He doesn’t care if the mentality is toxic but he wants to be all that you ever need. He wants to be everything to you without anyone else standing in the way.

imma start putting a lil author’s note at the end tee hee. i just wanna say that possessive felix>>>. mega fuckin heart eyes bruv. also seungmin is soo pull out, eat it, put it back in and i cant explain why. source: just trust me.

[imakeupthingsaboutkilljoys]

Look Alive, Sunshine / Na Na Na

Look alive, sunshine 109 in the sky, but the pigs won't quit 109 is his radio frequency, the 'pigs' refer to anyone working under BL/ind (so, Dracs, Exterminators, and SCARECROWS). You're here with me, Dr. Death-Defying I'll be your surgeon, your proctor Your helicopter Pumpin' out the slaughtermatic sounds to keep you alive The purpose of his radio station is to guide Killjoys through the desert. Does it imply that he's guiding newer escapees? It works, especially considering that this is the first track on the album; we're the new Killjoys he's guiding. A system failure for the masses Anti-matter for the master plan Fighting against BL/ind. Louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny Killjoys and self-expression. This one's for all of you rock'n'rollers All you crash queens and motor babies Listen up

Conclusion: This is from the perspective of Dr Death. He's guiding us through the Killjoy's world.

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The future is bulletproof The aftermath is secondary The BL/ind slogan. It's time to do it now and do it loud Killjoys, make some noise Killjoy rebellion and self-expression. Na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na Na, na-na, na-na, na-na Na, na-na, na-na, na-na Na-na, na-na, na-na The "na"s are probably taunting/teasing, but could just be singing along. Who knows. Drugs, gimme drugs, gimme drugs The BL/ind methods of mind manipulation. Eight legs to the wall The fab four logo (the spider). Is it because they're pests to BL/ind? Hit the gas, kill 'em all And we crawl, and we crawl, and we crawl Crawling through life, out of sight of BL/ind. Also a spider logo reference. From mall security To every enemy We're on your property Standing in V formation No matter how hard people try and exterminate them, they will find a way to rebel. Let's blow an artery Referenced in the music lyric video to be about fast food, possibly linked to American consumerism. Eat plastic surgery BL/ind prioritises conformity---is plastic surgery encouraged in Battery City? Keep your apology Give us more detonation Oh, let me tell you 'bout the sad man Shut up and let me see your jazz hands Reference to "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who. They are seen as villains in the eyes of BL/ind, but really they just want freedom. Remember when you were a madman Thought you was Batman And hit the party with a gas can Their aspirations to be heroes. Kiss me, you animal More freedom of expression, especially if this has queer subtext. You run the company Fuck like a Kennedy The link between freedom and power. I think we'd rather be Burning your information Anti-corporation sentiment. And right here Right now All the way in Battery City Battery City is the city run by BL/ind. The little children Raise their open filthy palms Like tiny daggers up to heaven Rebellion and a (possibly) futile hope for freedom. And all the juvie halls The people apprehended for fighting the norms. And the Ritalin rats The people who were controlled by BL/ind medication. Ask angels made from neon And fucking garbage Radioactive. Scream out, "What will save us?" And the sky opened up Reference to Destroya, possibly. More likely it's their belief that the Girl will play a major role in taking down BL/ind. Everybody wants to change the world Everybody wants to change the world But no one, no one wants to die They know they'll need to sacrifice themselves to make their difference. Make no apology It's death or victory Again, knowing they must sacrifice themselves. On my authority Crash and burn, young and loaded Power in the youth. Drop like a bullet shell People will need to drop (die) in order to succeed. Dress like a sleeper cell Wait for the word that victory is near. I'd rather go to hell Than be in purgatory It's better to die a sinner than have done nothing to stop a worse evil. Purgatory could also reference BL/ind mind control. Cut my hair Gag and bore me Removing self-expression and liberation. Pull this pin Let this world explode Reference to the Girl's fate.

Conclusion: This is all of the fab four singing, like an anthem for the Killjoys, and establishes their desires, beliefs, and goals.

[writer-of-various]

It's A Hard Life

Summary: Help from an old enemy and an old friend. Alex Mason's life couldn't be simple for a minute.

(Giving our boy some love, along with Naga. Ft. My BO1 OC, Tommy Wilson, because we all love some plot twists!)

December 20th, 1989

He glares weakly up at the guards sharing a smoke before him, his arms numb as the rope cuts off all circulation. His body aches with the beating he was forced to go through, his head throbbing and the effects of whatever drug they injected in him making him paranoid– more than usual at least.

"He's not getting away with this. None of you are." He growls out, his face getting hot as the two men simply laughed mockingly in his face; the taller of the two spat out a nasty glob at him and Alex grimaces in disgust as it catches on his jacket.

There's a crackle of a radio, and the shorter man immediately grabs the blocky device and holds it up. "Sir?"

"It's time."

They move quickly, and Alex struggles more against the restraints as a sack is thrown over his head and something else is injected harshly into the crook of his neck.

"Don't worry American, it'll make it painless and quicker." One of the men says, roughly hauling him to his feet and Alex winces as the room spins, even if everything is pitch black from the bag. He's dragged out of the room he's been held in, flailing around like a cat about to take a bath, and the men curse at him from both sides. His chest tightens and his breaths come out short and labored. He feels weak and dizzy and sick and so incredibly tired. Is he overdosing on whatever they gave him?

Fear ate at him. Fear for Frank. Fear for Jason. He hoped, prayed, they were alright. If he dies tonight, he hopes his two best friends take care of David. He apologizes to his son, he hopes that whatever higher power is out there tells his son that he's sorry he's such a horrible dad. So paranoid and upset and breaks promises of not going back to the CIA.

But it was for Frank. Frank fucking Woods, the man Alex Mason has been in love with for years and years. He remembers the conversation he and Athena had, a year before she died. Killed for standing up for what was right. David could never know. He'll never know.

"If he hurts them, I'll fucking him!" Alex's words slur together, but he makes his point across because the man to his left let's out a shaky breath.

"He won't be hurting anyone, American. It's your own friend that will kill you tonight."

What? What does he mean? Who? Frank?

A shot echoes the night, and an intense pain hits his left knee. He lets out a cry of pain, and flinches when another shot rings out and hits his abdomen. The hands holding his upright disappear and he tumbles to the ground, gasping for air and trying to move, but the drugs grasp onto his brain and he's frozen in shock and pain.

He's dying. He's dying, and he'll never see David or Frank or Jason. A lone tear escapes his eye as he shuts them and lets the pain and drugs take over, his breathing slowing down dangerously.

He'll never get the chance to tell Frank he loves him.

There's freezing cold wetness dumped over his head and he wakes with a startled gasp, attempting to sit up but pain shoots throughout his back and he lets himself fall back, whimpering pathetically.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" A voice hisses, but he shuts his eyes, too tired to keep them open. The mysterious voice doesn't like that. Hands grab at his jacket and shake him ruthlessly. "Hey, open your goddamn eyes! Don't fucking die on my asshole!"

He reluctantly lets his eyelids flutter open and sees a man staring down at him with furrowed brows and lips thinned in a line. Dark tinted glasses hide his eyes and it reminds Alex of Jason and Russell.

"There you go. Shit, man. Welcome back from the dead." The man says, voice rough but it's soothing in a strange way.

"W-who..." he grimaces, and the man curses and immediately turns him on his side as he pukes up bile. He cries silently, body shaking from the cold bath he was given to wake up and the bitter taste left in his mouth as he dry heaves nothing now.

"Shit. No worries, that stuff is long outta your system. Oh, by the way, you owe me new shoes." The man hands him a cup of clear liquid, and Alex eyes it suspiciously. The man huffs. "It's water. I saved your life, remember?"

No, Alex wants to say, he does not remember. But he gambles his luck and trust and lets the man press the plastic cup to his lips and he takes slow, little sips. It's refreshing and cool against his throat, which feels like he swallowed a handful of razor blades.

He turns his head slightly and the man places the cup down, making a noise of approval. Of what, Alex doesn't know, and he's too tired and shook up to figure it out.

"You probably heard of me before. You can call me Naga."

Naga. That name did sound familiar, but Alex in his still half-dead mind didn't bother to try remembering. He nods, a sluggish little action but the man, Naga, chuckles and continues.

"I worked with Perseus. But, as I'm sure you heard, we disbanded a few years ago. Eh, I tried going about with my work. But one pesky little motherfucker kept disrupting my plans. Guess who? Raul Menendez and his little ugly goons. Heard the bitch was in Panama, working with Manuel Noriega. Also heard the CIA were involved, and I thought, why not kill a bunch of birds with one stone?"

Alex looks at him, trying to muster up his best glare but it probably looks pathetic because Naga laughs again.

"Turns out, Menendez and Noriega, the two fuckers, got intel on you and your boys showing up. The CIA has a fucking mole, not surprising though. Anyways, your friend shot you, thinking you were Menendez, and whatever happened to him I don't know and honestly, I don't give a fuck. But I saw you, and I remembered all the praise you got from a very good friend of mine, which you knew very well in '81. I couldn't leave you to die, what kind of legend dies overdosing on heroin and coke and two gunshot wounds?"

Alex rolls his eyes and Naga grins cheekily at him. "Don't worry Mr. Badass, after we get you in good shape, I'll take you back to the states and you can retire at last. Sorry about your friends though."

Alex looks away, tears welling in his eyes. Jason and Frank can't be dead. How did they not know? Were they that caught up in stopping Menendez that they threw away gut instinct and common sense? The mission felt so wrong but they pushed on through.

Knowing Frank shot him churned his stomach, and a part of him hopes Frank doesn't know he shot the wrong person. A small part of him hopes Frank is dead, so when he turns up alive and reveals the truth, Frank doesn't have to live and struggle with that guilt. Guilt he knows his best friend would let eat him alive.

"C'mon man, let's get outta this shit hole." Naga is careful with his hands, but the pain is unbearable and after a few steps, Alex almost tumbles to the floor. Naga sighs and places an arm under Alex's legs, easily lifting him up bridal style and carrying him to a car. When Alex gives him a look at how nice (and expensive) the car looks, Naga gives him another cheeky grin and a wink.

"I'm just borrowing this, sweetheart."

~

Alex stares out the window of the shitty motel room, his knee aching in an almost numbing pain but it wasn't as bad as it was a few days ago. It's Christmas, and Alex's heart aches as he thinks about David. He almost breaks down at the thought of Jason's family. Of how he and Frank were supposed to spend Christmas together.

Naga is reading a newspaper, a joint between his lips as his eyes scan the paragraphs with a bored expression. "You hungry, man?"

Alex shakes his head, but Naga hasn't looked up from the daily paper. "No."

"You gotta eat, man." Naga sighs out, sounding a bit annoyed and it gets Alex mad. How can he possibly eat? How can he possibly function when his best friends are dead and his son is alone.

Before he can retort, the phone rings and they look at it in surprise. They share a look, Naga's eyebrows reaching his hairline and Alex's eyes big and worried. The former Perseus agent stands and walks over to the ringing phone, picking it up and placing it at his ear.

"'Ello?" Alex watches, his breath held as he sees the color drain from Naga's face. The younger man looks at him and he notices his hands are shaky as he holds the phone out to him.

"He wants to talk to you." Naga whispers, and Alex makes a noise in the back of his throat. Who?

He tries standing, but it's still painful and Naga quickly sets the phone down and rushes over to help him closer to the bed. Alex sits down and grabs the phone, placing it by his ear.

"Who is this?" He asks, proud that his voice doesn't shake like his body is.

"If you show your face anywhere, if you reappear anywhere, I will kill David. I will kill Emilia and Russell. I will kill Frank, like I should have. I have pictures of your dear friend, Jason Hudson. Do not come back to this world, Alex, unless you want to kill your family." The other end hangs up and Alex lets out a yell, throwing the phone far from him and hiding his face in his hands.

Frank is alive. Frank is alive.

Jason is dead. Jason is dead.

Menendez knows he's alive. Menendez is going to kill them all.

"Did..." Naga swallows the lump in his throat, "Did he threaten your family?"

"Everyone. Jason is dead."

Naga nods, releasing the breath he's been holding. "Okay. Okay. New plan."

Alex gives him an incredulous look. "New plan? No, I need to warn them. I need to kill that son of a bitch once and for all!"

Naga glares at him, "He threatened Emilia. The only reason you're alive is because of her. You are dead, Alex. Dead. I am too. Overdose, that sounds honest."

"You're joking..."

"No, I'm not. If we even look in their direction, he'll kill them. I know this fucker as much as you know him. He doesn't play, Alex. He's fucking crazy! Fuck!" Naga grabs a pillow and throws it across the room and Alex frowns. Is this his life now? His identity is dead, everyone mourning over him while he's alive and desperately wants to go back to them.

But Naga is, unfortunately, right. One word of him being possibly alive, and Menendez will kill everyone he loves.

"He needs to be put down," Alex whispers, and Naga looks at him with a serious expression.

"He will be. No one threatens my family and gets away with it."

"I guess we share something in common then."

~

It's almost hilarious, two enemies working together to take down a common enemy. Living together. Because they're both dead to the world, and they only have each other.

Alex needs rehab, he's having trouble walking because of his knee. They can't afford the risk of him getting any type of medical attention, so Naga is quick to take him to one of Perseus' old safehouses and helps him.

They develop a routine, they get used to each other's routines. They bicker and argue, they are different in many ways, but at the end of the day, they sit and talk about their lives and their families over cheap beer and a crappy made dinner ("It's food, be lucky I fed your ass!" "Jeez, thanks Naga.")

"I love her." Naga says out of the blue one night, and Alex raises a confused brow and looks over at him. Naga is staring out into the woods, the chirping of crickets a soothing background noise.

"Emilia. I always loved her. So did Stitch. I tried convincing him not to do it, but he claimed he knew what was best. He was scared, scared she'll hate everyone and everything. Scared she'll leave Perseus; leave him." Naga shakes his head, "It's a bullshit excuse, I know. We fell out after she left to rejoin you guys. He became the leader, I was his second, but it wasn't how we imagined it. Because Emilia was supposed to be the leader, and one of us her second. She was our reasoning, the brain and heart of the operation."

Alex nods, smiling softly. "Last time I talked to her, she said she missed the action. The thrills of being a Perseus agent."

Naga chuckles, "We were a crazy bunch. But we were family, tight knit. We were given a second chance at life, we were promised revenge. Our governments do not care about us. The USSR has demonstrated many times that it did not agree with our...vision, so they lost our trust. Our plan was to take down the government, disband the USSR, and take control and create our own government. A government so promising and good that everyone would beg to be part of us. That was the plan."

"Sounds too good to be true."

Naga snorts, "Of course. It's a fucking fairy tale, for fucks sake. Having me as a leader? Fuck, everyone would be high on the daily. Having Stitch as a leader? Everyone would be required to be in the military. And Emilia? Don't let her innocent looks fool you. You mess with her, you're about a hundred feet under the next morning."

Alex looks at Naga, "You always talk about Perseus. What about your family? Your biological family."

"Eh, there's not much. I was born into a shit poor family, grew up mixing in the wrong crowd. By 20, I started selling drugs and weapons, and barely three years later, I was infamously known. Perseus recruited me not too long after, and I've been working with him since. I was deep in my work, addicted beyond any imagination. He gave me a chance to be a better man, to be even more powerful, and to give my parents a better life. I sent money to them, but they were killed by the KGB when they learned I was involved with Perseus. The KGB and Perseus never really worked hand in hand. But we had moles, a lot of them, in the KGB. It's how we got money, power, and bodies. And how we managed to stay under the radar for so long."

"You're a good man, deep down Naga. You're just doing what you think is right." Alex says softly, and Naga looks over at him, his expression blank but eyes glinting with an unknown emotion.

"Aren't we all?"

May 07, 1991

"Any good intel?" Naga sits beside him, his signature turban dark with grim and dirt. Alex shakes his head, handing the binoculars over to him.

"Nothing. It seems like Menendez stood these poor bastards up."

Naga snickers, "Like a prom date?"

"Shut up." Alex chuckles, wiping the sweat off his forehead before rechecking the sights of his sniper. "It's David's birthday today."

Naga looks over at him, frowning. "Shit."

Alex shrugs, a sad smile tracing his lips. "He's thirteen now."

Naga bites his bottom lip, looking back at the scene before them. "He knows you love him. You're a good dad."

The scoff made him frown, "I was a horrible dad, Naga. With how I was raised, with what I saw, with what I went through...it's not an excuse for how I made my son feel. For abandoning him."

"You're a legend, a hero. He probably wants to be just like you when he grows up." Naga tries to comfort, but Alex shakes his head.

"I don't want him joining the military. I don't want that for him. He's a bright kid, he reads at a higher level. He's good at math and science. Loves history and knows how to hunt and fish and play sports. I don't want him to see what I saw. I know this world won't be easy on him. This is just the beginning."

Naga doesn't say anything, hoping Menendez appears.

Menendez doesn't.

The two return to their home with heavy shoulders and heavier hearts.

November 21st, 1991

Naga curses as he ducks behind a wall, hands buried deep in the pockets of his coat. Alex stops a few feet ahead of him, pistol out and drawn and Naga takes out his own, hoping that he was being paranoid and that person that's been walking in the same direction of him and Alex just walks by the alleyway.

Their hearts drop when the figure stops in front of them and looks at them, the shadows hiding their identity.

"Who the fuck are you, asshole?" Naga bites, stepping in front of Alex instinctively. He had nothing to live for anymore. No family, no friends. Alex has it all. Alex deserves it all.

The figures raise their hands up, taking a step closer and Naga growls out in warning.

"Calm down, I'm not here to start anything. I'm a friend." It's a man, his voice deep with a familiar underlying accent. Alex freezes beside him and Naga curses again.

"Bullshit. Who are you?"

"Alex–" "Hey bitch, I'm talking to you! Don't talk to him!" Naga growls, walking over to the figure but Alex holds him back.

"Naga–"

"Tommy. Tommy Wilson." The man says, and Alex pauses, his eyes widening and Naga sees the realization dawning in the older man's eyes.

"Tommy?" Alex breathes out, stepping closer to the man and pushing him out of the alley, into the dim streetlight. Naga follows close behind, concealing his pistol again, and glares at the man. He's tall, broad shouldered, with golden blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Hey Al." The man, Tommy, says gently and Alex wraps him in an embrace. Naga watches, suddenly feeling awkward, but he doesn't move or look away. His hand is still resting against his pistol, ready to shoot this Tommy if he makes the smallest wrong move.

"Tommy, where have you been? What happened?" Alex looks relieved, happy, and Naga wonders if this is it. Clearly the two know each other. Would Alex leave him? Naga scowls, of course the legendary agent would, this is a fellow American and someone he probably trusts more than Naga.

Tommy makes a face, "Can we talk somewhere more private?"

Alex nods, "Of course. Come on." He looks at Naga, eyes asking, and Naga feels stupid for a moment. He and Alex have been stuck together for almost two years now. They were allies, comrades. Perhaps friends, in a weird way.

Naga nods, and guides the two Americans back to the hotel room he and Alex were staying in.

~

Naga and Alex stare at Tommy in bewilderment, and the younger man is staring at them with a sheepish grin and shoulders hunched up, like he was a teenager explaining how he got a girl knocked up. Or at least, that's the way Naga saw it.

"So you've been MIA all these years, hunting down Perseus and other foreign organizations on your own? And now, your number one target is Raul Menendez?"

Tommy nods, "I've heard what he's done. And I managed to get word of what happened in Panama. When the CIA said your body wasn't discovered, I knew you were alive. It wasn't some sick joke on Menendez's part. So, I've been hunting him down and searching for you the last two years. When I saw you in that restaurant, I couldn't believe my own eyes. It's been so long. But you haven't aged a bit."

Naga snorts, and Alex glares at him playfully. Tommy notices this and makes a noise, "So...you two work together?"

Naga stares at him unblinking while Alex nods, his face pink. "Yes. Naga is the one who saved me. We've been hunting down Menendez as well. I...I can't go back to anyone until he's dead. Or–"

"Or he'll kill everyone you love. Typical villain move." Tommy sighs, "Don't worry, Al. We'll get that motherfucker and you'll get to go home. And retire, please."

Naga smirks, "That's what I told him."

"Shut it you two."

~

Working with Tommy gave them a lot of more intel and equipment. How Tommy got his hands on that stuff, they didn't ask. It took a while, but Naga got used to the younger American and soon he had two legendary CIA agents to look after and make sure they got home safe.

The feeling is familiar, and it makes his heart ache. It's how he felt with Perseus, the bickering and arguments. They shared laughs and stories that no one would understand. The feeling of belonging and friendship and family. It's all a weakness, he reminds himself constantly, but he hates being alone. He thrived on attention. Stitch and Emilia, all the other agents, never hesitated to give him any attention. Whether it was good or bad. Whether it made him smile or got him punched in the face or kicked in the balls.

He doesn't want this to end.

But it does.

December 20th, 2024

"You got too close. Didn't I warn you?" Menendez looks down at Naga with a disgusted look, as if he's a pile of dog shit. Naga glares up at him, unflinching as the knife twists deeper into his thigh. "You don't make noise. Does pain not affect you?"

"Suck a dick, whore!" Naga spits out a glob of spit, grinning maniacally as it lands on Menendez's cheek. The man stands to his full height and wipes it from his face, his expression never changing.

"Where is Alex Mason?"

Naga snorts, "Not interested. I suggest you find a pig to bang."

He laughs loudly when the knife is ripped out of his thigh and he's stabbed in his other thigh, the blade piercing right through. "You're a kinky motherfucker, eh?"

"Stop playing games, Naga. If you just tell me where Alex is, I'll let you live and I won't hurt anyone you love."

"I love no one. Kill me, 'cause I got nothing to lose." Naga smirks smugly at the terrorist, the wannabe politician, the man he hates with a fiery passion. Menendez returns his smirk, taking something out of his pocket and holding it in front of the former drug lord. Naga's schools his expression perfectly, but his heart drops to his stomach and panic wraps its slimy hands around his brain.

It's a picture of Emilia. Still so beautiful. Still not retired.

'What is up with these CIA agents not retiring?' He thinks, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, she's hot. A good lay too. Sorry old man, you're outta her league too. I hear she likes Americans with small dicks and big egos."

He huffs when he's punched, rolling his eyes again despite the pain. "You hit like a bitch."

"You're a waste of time." Menendez hisses, obviously upset he's not getting anything from Naga.

"Yep. Do us both a favor and just pull the trigger."

Menendez glares at him. "One last time. Where. Is. Alex?"

Naga leans forward, and Menendez looks intrigued suddenly, leaning close too. Naga grins, eyes smug and teeth shining through the blood coating his mouth.

"He's about to ruin your life, bitch."

It's worth it. The punches, the whips of the belt. Getting stabbed. Being waterboarded and electrocuted. It's worth it, because when a man runs in and whispers something in Menendez's ear, and the color drains from his enemy's face, Naga knows Alex and Tommy just bombed the asshole's headquarters. That they are safe, probably in another country at this point.

It's worth getting shot twice in the kneecaps, and a bullet right between his eyes.

Because Alex Mason deserves a second chance. And as the last leader of Perseus, Naga was happy to give that chance to someone like how it was given to him.

June 2025

"You ready old man?" Tommy looks at Alex, who's staring at the large retirement home with a worried expression.

"I don't know. What if he doesn't want to see me? What if they hate me? I mean, it's been thirty years, Tommy."

Tommy shakes his head, "Hey, calm down. Just tell them. Everything. I'm sure two surprises would send ol' Frank into a heart attack. Can't have that. I'll be here, waiting. You got this, Al."

Alex gives the younger man a smile and nods, getting out of the car and taking a deep breath.

Raul Menendez is dead. His son is a goddamn legend.

He's home.

The guard looks at him, hand out and Alex passes over the ID Tommy made for him.

"Alex Mason. Here to see Frank Woods."

The guard nods, "Mason? Y'all sure do love that old grumpy man."

Alex smiles softly, tucking his ID back into his wallet when it's handed back to him. "Yeah. He's one of a kind."

The guard chuckles, pointing at the door to the right down the hall. "Something like that."

Alex takes another deep breath and walks over, knocking on the door. A muffled voice, familiar and pressing tears to his eyes comes from inside.

"Do not enter!"

Alex grins, opening the door and there's a groan as he walks inside the room, shutting the door gently behind him.

"I swear to God I will shove this wheelchair right up your–" Frank freezes, staring up at him in surprise and disbelief and Alex looks at him with pure adoration.

"Ass." He finishes for the shell shocked man. He takes a few steps forward, "Hey Woods. You look like hammered shit."

Frank shakes his head and holds out a hand.

"You stay right there." He orders, and Alex stands, not moving as Frank wheels himself closer and shoves him from his stomach. He looks down, barely affected by the shove, and presses a hand against his stomach, where Frank's hand touched. Frank's alive. He's alive. This is real.

"Mason. I shot you." Frank moves himself back a bit, and Alex nods, confirming his words. He moves over and sits on his best friend's bed, looking at him with a cheeky grin.

"Turns out you're a lousy shot." He teases, and Frank snorts, rolling his eyes.

"My ass." He moves closer to Alex again, looking into his eyes and Alex could cry. He wants to cry. He wants to hug Frank and kiss him and never let go.

"Where the fuck you've been for thirty years?"

And Alex tells him. Everything. The night in Panama. Getting shot. Getting saved by Naga. Being threatened by Menendez. Working with Naga. Tommy finding them and working with them. Everything. Every little detail, he gave it all. And Frank shook his head in disbelief, snorted out a laugh, replied with snarky comments or asked questions with his brows furrowed.

"Every day, for thirty years, I dreamt of coming back to you guys. To my home. To see David, to see you and Emilia. Every day, for thirty years, I blamed myself for everything. I just wanted to come home. But if I decided to be selfish, I would have lost you and David. I couldn't. It's another sacrifice I had to make for this job."

Frank grabs his hand with both of his, and holds it firmly. "You're home, Al. You're home. And that's all that matters."

Alex smiles, letting the tears he's been holding for thirty years fall. "I'm home, Frank. I'm home."

[sable-skies]

I wanna see what you have to say about horses :3

the little horse girl in my heart just screamed something between a "YIPPPIEEEE" and a "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO"

okayokaoykaoyayao i dont even know where to start uhh huh dhfisgdf

It's actually been a few years since I've interacted with a horse! I used to majorly be into them as a kid, hell probably before I got into anything else i was The Horse girl in my school/grade (and got picked on for it but who gives a FUCK those people SUCKED anyway) and i just. never shut up about them

I had a shit ton of books about horses and various breeds, my entire room looked like a horse shrine, the whole nine yards was just. Honse. and looking back im glad I had that growing up, that my mom indulged me on my first major interest and had tried to get me into horse riding lessons a few times! but alas, the 2008 recession hit my mom hard and i had no idea at the time.

Its funny actually because a lot of people around me growing up forgot I was a super big horse nerd because I got all quiet and into other things and such that I stopped talking about them as much, but again, that little horse girl in my heart is ready to pretty much at any time just give me the sleeper agent activation code word and I'm gone brother

I think my favorite example of people not knowing I was a horse kid was back in high school when I picked up a friend of mine, who was also a major horse girlie, (her mom would let her walk in negative degree weather and i wasnt letting that happen) she had been watching a video on her phone and it reflected in the window. and without any hesitation i went "tinker horse?" and she whipped her head around and looked at me in shock like "how did you know??"

the answer of how I knew is because thats one of my favorite horse breeds out there. because im a dork and i never forgot its name (technically i knew it by its old name with the slur in it, look it up if you need to) but regardless: i knew this mf from a mile away

These are tinker horses btw!! Big draft breeds with feathery legs / feet, long manes, and a big impressive build. Honestly as I've gotten older I think my preference in horse breeds has shifted to the draft kind, which is funny because as a kid I would tell you something like a quarter horse was my favorite. (though all horse breeds are good, its kinda like dog breeds in terms of discussion tho just. which ones you like to look at or like interacting with)

as for other favorites, i also really enjoy shires, Friesian, Andalusians, Tennessee walkers, american paints, and a whole lot more!

thats mostly all about like, nostalgic memories and some breed talk though, i dont actually keep up with current horse media or any sort of discussion, so I don't have any comments on lifestyles, conditions, how they're handled, etc. again, i'm really out of the horsesphere as of now and I doubt I'll get much back into it in life, seeing as its such an expensive thing to be into.

but generally: i like horses, i think they're fun creatures and i like to think of them as bigger (and potentially more dangerous) dogs. if i get a chance to interact with one in a good setting i tend to take it, and i usually walk away happy on the basis of "i got to pet a horse thats gonna make my WHOLE week", because honestly I'm not big on riding them anymore, i just like being around them.

but yea thats. some thoughts. oh my god i typed way too much

[wonderlandleighleigh]

8 for Maisel? 🥰

Gordon's Emmy's party is just as insane as Midge thought it would be, and while she does love a great party, this group is hard for even her to keep up with.

She didn't bring a date, and it makes her popular, unfortunately. Canon fodder for the single men present. And even some of the not-so-single men.

And so she finds herself in the garden outside of the very fancy venue Gordon's team rented. It's strange but there's far less light pollution out here, and Midge can see some stars peeking through in the night sky, and it's...

Well, honestly, it's beautiful.

She finds a bench and settles down, smoothing out her black designer gown, breathing in the cool air and enjoying the calm.

"No, you see," a familiar voice tells her. "This is my bench."

Midge can't help a slowly smile as she looks up at Lenny. "I was wondering if you were going to show up to this thing."

"Ah, my manager told me I had to make an appearance," he shrugs, sitting next to her. "But it turns out it's an awful fucking party."

She nods in agreement. "Yes, it is."

They sit in silence for a long time, both of them looking up at the night sky in companionable silence.

"I always liked stars," he admits quietly. "It's harder to see them in the city, but...I always..."

Midge turns to look at him, tilting her head. "What?"

He shrugs and gestures up to the sky. "It always struck me as very strange, and very beautiful, that we exist alongside all of that."

She smiles and rests her head on his shoulder. "I never thought about it before. But it is nice."

"Yes, it is."

More silence settles over them as Lenny slides an arm around her shoulders.

"Wow. I never would have guessed."

Midge rolls her eyes as she looks up at her boss. "Hi, Gordon."

"Midge. Lenny."

"Hello," Lenny greets.

"What are you two up to?" Gordon smirks. "A little alone time?"

"Literally just looking at the sky," Midge tells him unimpressed.

"Sure."

"Did you know Saturn has nine moons?" Lenny asks.

Gordon blinks.

"Nine," he nods. "It's a lot of fuckin' moons. We've only got the one. Hell, there might be more."

Midge grins a little, watching the exchange.

"...Okay," Gordon says awkwardly. "I think I forgot that you're a dweeb."

"I did an entire television segment on flea circuses once," Lenny points out. "I blew my nose on the air on Playboy Penthouse. I probably got snot on Hue Hefner. How could you possible forget that?"

Midge laughs into his shoulder, squeezing her eyes shut. She knows it's going to get her in trouble with Gordon to laugh this hard, but she's note sure she cares very much.

"Right," Gordon nods slowly. "I'm uh...I'll leave you two to it, I guess."

Midge lifts her head and smiles. 'Bye, Gordon."

He walks off and Midge buries her face in Lenny's shoulder again.

"Of course I'm a dweeb, it's how I get arrested all the fucking time," Lenny grumbles. "I know too much about the American legal system, and religion and the state of our economy and I get busted for spouting facts mixed in with swear words and dicks jokes. Forgot I was a dweeb. Fuck's sake."

She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek. "Just enjoy the view, Lenny."

He pulls back a little, lifting his eyebrows as he gazes at her. "Yes, it is a very lovely view."

Midge feels herself flush a little, biting her lip.

[ohara-n-brown]

I think the people that are asking others to vote for Biden are always missing a big thing.

I get the argument - 'Trump is worse and more of a threat to all of us, so you have to vote for Biden, he's the lesser of two evils!'

Okay, makes sense.

But these posts NEVER EVER bring up the moral dilemma, or how to handle it.

Why 'Blue No Matter Who' WON'T Work Right Now -

You are asking people to directly go against their morals and vote for a man funding genocide -

But then you refuse to give either

1) A way for those people to come to peace with their decision after the fact and

2) A way we're gonna hold Biden accountable AFTER he wins.

You are asking others to vote for a man funding genocide.

Okay, so once they do - and go home and lay in their beds - only to wake up two months later and see Biden sending another 10 billion dollars to Israel-

What moral comfort do you have to give them? For them, knowing that's their money and the man they put into power.

Do you have anything to say to them? Nothing? Because you don't care?

How do you expect them to sleep knowing they've betrayed their morals? Or do you think betraying your morals is something someone can outright choose to do with no mental reprecussions?

And this isn't just some abstract comment. I'm being LITERAL. We all have to go against our morals at least each in our life yes, but you still have to deal with the emotional aftermath.

You all are asking people to set aside their morals without acknowledging that morals, and without justification for it after the fact.

Really, those posts sound like 'Please vote for Biden, we know he's funding a genocide and you don't like that. But PLEASE it's so important. Oh thanks, you voted for him. Wait you feel guilty?.... Not my problem.'

And two - you're providing NO SOLUTION for Biden's behavior.

Biden has been funding a genocide. In the last 130 days he has sent BILLIONS of taxpayer dollars to a foreign country for genocide and war.

You want me to vote for him. And then you never ever ever mention how you plan to get him to STOP doing these things.

You're telling me 'Trump is dangerous! He doesn't listen to the people, he dehumanizes the oppressed and wants them dead!'

Okay, true.

But if Biden ends up in office AGAIN how are we gonna stop him from continuing to abuse his power AGAIN?

Or have you just not thought about that? Are you not concerned about the fact you have no ability whatsoever to hold your own canidate accountable?

Do you just not think about that because it makes you feel powerless and uncomfortable?

Biden has proven he too doesn't listen to the people.

And he in fact, DOES dehumanize the oppressed and does indeed want them dead. Just because those people aren't American doesn't mean anything.

Biden wants oppressed people dead.

So now that we know he does and wants those things - and we can't get him to stop NOW - and yet you want me to re-elect him without offering me methods in which he'll change.

Okay, buddy.

If you want to convince people to vote for Biden you're gonna have to

1) Engage with their morals and explain how they can come to peace with voting for a Genocidal Fascist and their tax dollars being directly used to aid that AND

2) How we plan to hold Biden accountable and change his behavior AFTER I've sacrificed my morals to give him more power.

If you can't do that in your post - shut the fuck up.

You're not gonna tell me to vote for a Genocidal asshole only to tell me 'ummm if you feel guilty afterwards that's not my problem just vote for him okay and also after he's elected I have no idea how to get him to do what we want cause he doesn't even listen to us right now but I promise he's better than Trump so just do it okay'

I'll see entire posts asking for people to vote for Biden - and the post will just not mention Palestine.

They'll talk about Trump, trump, trump - but literally no one with ever say 'Listen, I know Biden is the reason thousands of Palestinians are dead, but-'

Because they know that sounds fucking ridiculous and evil so they leave that part out and hope we don't notice that you've conveniently forgot to mention why we're at this crossroads in the first place.

They tell people to vote for Biden, but never mention why people don't want to vote for him.

Because Democratic voters do not support the massacre of Gaza and Biden does not care.

HOW ARE YOU GONNA MAKE HIM CARE? If you can't tell me - don't tell me what the hell to do. Cause you don't even know what you're gonna do.

If you can't acknowledge the conversation, You're ignoring the crimes of your canidate breaking international law, simply saying they didn't happen or don't matter in the general scheme of things - just like a Trump-ette.

You're literally telling me that Biden will save America and the only chance we have at keeping it... Shit we're not even saying America is 'great', like the Trump-ettes.

We know the US is shit and that Biden contributes to that. None of us actually even believe he'll make America better in the slightest.

At the very least Trump supporters stupidly believe he'll bring about positive chance.

Biden supporters acknowledge he probably won't bring positive change for anyone really. And then they still go vote for him.

That's even fucking sadder. It's less evil, but just as fucking sad.

Voting for a canidate you know doesn't care about you, your education, your health, your home, your life, or really whether you're dead or not.

But you still vote for him - because he's blue.

If you want people to vote for Biden but refuse to engage the moral argument OR Biden's silencing and ROBBING (Yes, using executive action to send billions of dollars overseas against the wills of most Americans is fucking robbery) of the American people -

Please just shut the fuck up. You really can't expect me to listen to that.

'Vote for Biden... just cause!! Don't think about it! Don't think about what happens after! Just do it :) Why? Democrats are inherently better, that's why'

You've got to be joking

So yes, make the argument you want. But if you can't back it up, don't blame others cause they didn't vote.

Blame yourself for not thinking through your point for more than twenty seconds. Blame yourself for expecting people to conform blindly.

If you want me to vote for that man but can't tell me how we're gonna free Palestine from that same man's genocidal glee then I'm begging you to shut the hell up.

[names-hard]

TL;DR: Fuck The Washington Post! No one should feel forced to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect them.

So I'm sure many of you have seen the Washington Post article headline about how gen z men and women are having more disagreements about politics, and how this is bad for marriage.

Now most of what I've seen of it is people making fun of the men. Which is very fair, if they don't respect women then women shouldn't have to put up with them. But I wanted to see if the headline is just clickbait or if it actually thinks that gen z not marring due to differing political ideologies is a problem.

And ya, it does think that.

"This mismatch means that someone will need to compromise. As the researchers Lyman Stone and Brad Wilcox have noted, about 1 in 5 young singles will have little choice but to marry someone outside their ideological tribe. The other option is that they decline to get married at all — not an ideal outcome considering the data showing that marriage is good for the health of societies and individuals alike."

I'm sure it's pretty clear that the person who the article wants to "compromise" is women, right? After all historically women have had to take care of their husbands and be willing to change to make him happy, and we shouldn't change that at all. So of course they need to marry someone who thinks of them as property and want to take away all of their rights, cos if they don't they'll be sad... 😔

"They are working, living and socializing with people who think the same things they do. Particularly on college campuses, a culture of seeking sameness has set up young Americans for disappointment. They expect people to share their own convictions and commitments. But people’s insight and understanding about the world often come from considering alternative perspectives that may at first seem odd or offensive."

Now all admit that considering other perspectives is important, but what do conservatives have to offer that's so important that women have to marry them? Are they going to be happy hearing about how much their husband thinks that anyone not cis white and straight needs to be killed or arrested and that women should shut up and let men do what they want? It's not a bad thing that people want to be with other people like them, forcing yourself to be surrounded by people who either want you dead or submit to their power over you.

Not only all that but the article neglects to say what exactly the differences between liberal and conservative ideologies are, giving off the impression that gen z women are making a big deal over a tiny issue and not telling men who believe they are less than them to fuck off.

No ultimately I'm just some loser on the internet ranting about an article I don't like but if you want to read actual counterarguments to The Washington Post I'll give you a few recommendations.

[mxliv-oftheendless]

Shattered Illusions

Aguni tried many times before to get Takeru to come back to him. He was never very successful.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Alright, everybody, here it is! I have been working on this baby for a whole fucking month (it took this long because I started an internship and went to a research conference and have had so much shit to do), and thanks to a bout of insomnia keeping me awake I have finally finished it! I REALLY wanted to write something involving Aguni and Hatter, because their relationship in the show is so interesting and tragic and worthy of exploration. I really hope it's good, because I tried really hard to get Hatter's characterization right. Also I'll warn you I wrote a lot of this out in one go so it is largely unedited. But that's pretty par the course for me lol. Hope you guys like it!

I have to give the biggest thanks ever to @hatterstan-shameblog for all their help with this story! Thank you so much for your opinions and your analysis of Hatter and Aguni's relationship because it was a huge help! <3<3<3

CW: mentions of alcoholism and drug use, unhealthy coping mechanisms.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aguni didn’t like nightclubs—never had, really. They’d managed to convert one of the empty ballrooms of the Seaside Paradise Tokyo into a sort of nightclub, and as more and more people came to the Beach, it got increasingly crowded. If Aguni had had his way, he would never set foot in there, but as their numbers grew, so did the nightclub goers, meaning inevitably it became a place the militants had to regularly patrol.

Takeru, by contrast, loved the place. He was always the social butterfly of the two of them, so he loved to drink and dance with the people at the Beach’s nightclub. He made sure everyone had drinks, socialized with everyone; he even made sure there were clear paths to the bathrooms and water bottles available for those who had too much.

If it were Aguni being surrounded by a bunch of loud, drunk, horny people in swimwear, he would absolutely despise it. But of course, Takeru loved it. It was so plainly obvious to see that he did. His face always lit up in a wide grin and if Aguni strained his ears, he would hear the man’s loud laughter amidst the booming music. And even if Aguni couldn’t see him on the dance floor among the throngs of people, he knew to simply look for where the crowd was condensed the most, because Takeru would undoubtedly be in the very center. The people at the Beach loved it when he joined them, all of them crowding around their leader like moths to a multicolored-kimono-wearing flame.

“This song fucking sucks,” he heard over the music as Niragi swaggered up to stand beside him. “Why can’t they play the good shit?” he complained.

“You are not here to complain,” Aguni said curtly. “If you want them to play a different song, then give me your gun and go tell them yourself.”

That shut the kid up. As trigger-happy as he was, Niragi was still smart enough to know that if he handed over his gun, he effectively gave up his militant status. So Niragi contented himself with an eye roll, a petulant “Whatever,” and turning his grumbling to the floor.

If Aguni were a less stoic man, he might have rolled his eyes right back. But as it was, he returned to surveying the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of Takeru in the sea of swimwear.

Aguni was a sensible man. Maybe he wasn’t the smartest, or the most cunning, or even the most sophisticated man. But he was sensible—he had to be given his previous line of work. He operated under no delusions, made no attempts to lie to himself or anyone, and covered his own ass. And so he could see very rational reasons why this nightclub existed and why Takeru constantly being there was advantageous. It let the people who came to the Beach think less about how it was rather like an American-style cult and more about how they truly were all united. And Takeru, the leader of their little commune, and his presence there made the idea more believable. If he was there dancing alongside them, then he was one of them, an equal, not just the leader of the place. So even if he didn’t personally like the place, he could begrudgingly admit it was a little useful.

Takeru, by contrast, was the exact opposite. Takeru was extroverted and rowdy; he liked opera music and girl groups in equal amounts; he was charismatic and charming. All things that made him a good host, and afterwards, a natural fit for his father’s hat business. The only exception to Aguni’s sensible life was Takeru, but he could excuse that. He was his oldest friend, the only one who’d stuck around this long, so Aguni could perhaps forgive himself for having a soft spot for Takeru.

Still, even with Takeru, Aguni operated under no delusions—he’d known the man long enough to understand how much of his natural charm and extroverted nature was a front. Most, if not all of it, was a simple front. It was how Takeru coped, really; he hid his pain by pretending he didn’t have any. He drank and fucked it away until it came creeping back, because it always did, and he would go on and on and on repeating the cycle. And that was probably the real reason why Takeru had taken one look at the handful of ballrooms the empty hotel had to offer and declared one of them would be a nightclub. Because then he, and by extension others, could have a place where they could pretend they were back in the real world, partying the night away with their friends at a club, that they weren’t in this hellish landscape.

Maybe that was where Aguni went wrong, letting him do that. Especially in this place, where everyone was gone and all that remained were the horrible games. He let Takeru start the Beach, and he should’ve known that would set him on his old habits again. But he hadn’t thought much about it in the beginning. It had just been the two of them, Kuzuryuu, and a small handful of others then. Not enough to enable Takeru’s propensity for drinking his problems away.

“Aguni, my good man!”

Speak of the devil.

He’d been so focused on his inner monologue that he didn’t even realize the subject of it was stumbling out of the crowd. His sunglasses were over his eyes (he would never understand Takeru’s insistence on wearing sunglasses indoors) and he had an excited, rather inebriated grin on his face as he headed straight for him. “So glad you could join us!” he said boisterously, clapping a hand on Aguni’s shoulder. “The party wouldn’t be complete without your stoic, statuesque presence here!”

Aguni was not amused. “Hatter,” he grunted in greeting.

“Won’t you join us? I’m sure you’d enjoy the company of some lovely young woman.” Takeru waggled his eyebrows with a grin. “Or some lovely young man, or person. I don’t judge.”

He was definitely inebriated. “I need to talk to you,” Aguni said curtly. “Now. In private.”

“Why, Aguni,” Takeru placed his hands over his chest with a mock-flattered grin. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me.”

“I’m being serious. We need to talk.”

There was a pause, in which Takeru simply stared at him. Aguni looked stonily back, not daring to break their eye contact. The sunglasses made it so difficult to read Takeru’s face. He wished he would take them off; he didn’t really like the person he saw when he wore them.

“Fine then,” he finally said, actually looking serious for once. Then it was gone as he gave the militants behind Aguni a charming grin. “How about we give your friends the night off? Let them relax and not have to do militant things for a while? Seems unfair that they can’t partake in the fun!”

Aguni paused, thinking. “Fine.” He looked over his shoulder at Niragi and the others. “Take the night off. But if I catch wind of any of you,” he pointedly looked at Niragi while speaking, “causing trouble, you can say goodbye to your militant privileges.”

Niragi rolled his eyes, but still groused “Fine,” the others following suit.

“Wonderful!” Takeru spread out his hands. “Have all the fun you like, my friends!”

He thankfully waited until they had dispersed into the crowd before turning to Aguni with a more serious look. The amiable smile was still there, though. “Shall we?”

Aguni turned and headed out of the nightclub without a word, hoping Takeru was following him. He’d been doing this lately, agreeing to speak to Aguni in private then running off the moment he turned his back. He always laughed it off as him just messing around, but Aguni knew what was going on: Takeru was avoiding him. Perhaps he knew why he was trying to speak with him alone and was trying to delay the inevitable.

Well, he couldn’t avoid Aguni forever. And Aguni wasn’t going to let him try.

Luckily, as soon as they were out of the booming nightclub, Aguni heard Takeru’s footsteps behind him. He took them farther down the hall towards the back area of the hotel lobby, and finally brought into what in the real world would have been the hotel manager’s office.

“What a private setting,” Takeru said gaily as Aguni shut the door. “You sure you don’t want to go somewhere more comfortable?”

He didn’t dare give Takeru the rise he was trying to get out of him. “We need to talk.”

“So you keep saying,”

“Takeru.” Aguni felt some satisfaction at how the man immediately shut up at that. “We need to talk about the nightclub.”

“All right.” Takeru leaned against the desk and crossed his arms. “What about it?”

Aguni tried to remember what he wanted this to segue into. The problem was figuring out how exactly to do that without Takeru catching on and ending the conversation before they could get there. For all his love of drink and sex, Takeru was clever, and Aguni had never been very good with words. “I think we should limit the alcohol consumption before sending people out to the games.”

“And why exactly should we do that?”

“Alcohol messes with the ability to think clearly. If people enter games while they’re drunk and can’t think clearly, they’ll die.”

“Awww,” Takeru grinned at him. “I didn’t think you cared so much, Mori-chan. So heartwarming.”

He was deflecting. “Then how about this: if people start dying because they got too drunk before entering the games, that’s less people collecting the cards. It will take longer to collect all of them, and we won’t be able to leave this place sooner. And then people will start questioning what you keep telling them, about being able to send someone home when we’ve collected all fifty-two cards. They’ll stop listening to you.”

That got Takeru’s attention. A part of Aguni rather wished it hadn’t, because he didn’t want to think about the implications. “We don’t have to take away the alcohol completely. Just keep them from drinking too much before the games. They can drink themselves into oblivion when they get back for all I care.”

For a long moment, Takeru was quiet. He appeared to be looking down at the carpeted floor, deep in thought. Aguni had to work to stay patient as he waited for a response. They had to talk about this now, not wait to talk later, because Aguni was afraid he’d be too late if he waited.

“They’re all so brave, aren’t they?”

Aguni frowned at Takeru’s words. Takeru went on, still looking down at the floor. “They go out, every night, even though they know they may not come back. We do that to them, send them out to their deaths. And they go, willingly—happily, even—because they believe that someday, one of them can go home.”

Aguni found himself wanting to listen, to stop and hear what else Takeru had to say. He was good at that, convincing people to listen to him. He was like some sort of siren, drawing people in until they forgot why they were there and only knew Takeru and his words, his ideas. Maybe Takeru would agree, maybe he would say he was right, they couldn’t risk people dying because they let them get too drunk, maybe he would agree to put a limit on drinking alcohol before going out to the games. All would be revealed if he just sat still and listened.

But Aguni did not—could not—operate under such a delusion. “Takeru,” he said, allowing his voice to gain the smallest edge of urgency. “You need to see what I’m concerned about.”

“I do.” Takeru raised his head. “And I think we shouldn’t.”

If Aguni wasn’t so skilled at stoicism, he would’ve gawked at the man. “What? Why not?”

“Like I said: we send them to their deaths every night. And they go, no matter how scared they have to be that they won’t come back. Fear can mess with the ability to think clearly too. And I think if I had the choice to play a game drunk or afraid, I wouldn’t want to be afraid.” Takeru gave him a rather dry smile. “It is called liquid courage, after all. So I say let them continue as they do. It takes the edge of fear away, and they’ll go off to the games knowing that if they die tonight, they made the most of the time they had left.”

“So you want to let them go, completely unable to take care of themselves?”

“I never said that. And it’s not like they go alone. That’s why they go in groups; to look after one another.”

Aguni hated how his mouth opened and closed for a moment as he struggled to find what to say. “But what I am concerned about is drinking to excess,” he finally settled on. “And how it happens every night. Say someone thinks this is their last night, that they’ll die in a game, so they do as you say and drink and dance so they’ll have made the most of their time left. But what if they survive? Then they’ll just be repeating the same cycle every night. And eventually, they’ll start drinking more and more to keep feeling the same way.” He finally fixed Takeru with a pointed look. “You know that behavior isn’t healthy.”

Takeru’s expression finally melted into a serious one. “Watch your step, Morizono,”

Aguni decided to throw the double speak out the window. “I am saying this as your friend, Takeru. I’m not just worried about the Beach. I’m worried about you. You’re relapsing into old habits, and I think you are clever enough to recognize that. Forget about the others for a second and think about yourself. Imagine if you went into a game completely out of your mind, so much that you couldn’t play properly. What do you think would happen?”

Takeru was quiet for a moment. “I would get myself killed,” he finally said, in a tone that sounded like he didn’t want to admit Aguni had a point.

Aguni nodded. “Exactly.” He crossed his arms. “You would die in that game. What do you think I—what do you think the Beach would do if you died? You are the one telling them they can eventually go home; you’re the reason why they stay. Not me, not any of the executives—you. You care about them, don’t you?”

He wondered why he was so afraid Takeru would say no. Of course he cared about them; this world hadn’t changed him that much.

… Right?

“I do. I do care about them. I care about you, Mori-chan.”

Aguni relaxed. “Then listen to what I’m saying. I understand it’s the best vice possible in this place. But being so careless and excessive isn’t good for you, or them, either.”

“Mori.”

Takeru reached up to take off his sunglasses, revealing that behind them his eyes were softer. Aguni was struck by how tired he suddenly looked, like this conversation was reminding him of the gravity of… well, everything. But what Aguni chose to focus on was the clarity he saw. Takeru wasn’t drunk, wasn’t high, wasn’t checked out in any way—his eyes were clear, focused. He was listening after all.

“They need this,” Takeru went on, nodding his head at the door and the direction of the nightclub. “Look at where we are; a cruel, merciless world that doesn’t care how much we want to live, only whether we win the games or not. We’re just pawns, nameless faces in those twisted games. We don’t mean anything, or have any value as people. And maybe you are able to come to terms with that knowledge, but they can’t. They need a reprieve, something that will take their minds off the cruelty and death for a while. Because the reprieve gives them hope, that they can go home one day, and all the death and violence they’ve been through will be worth it. They need this reprieve, because the only thing winning a game does is cruelly remind them that in this harsh, uncaring world, they are still alive. Mori…”

Takeru clapped his hand on Aguni’s shoulder and squeezed it, looking at him like now Aguni was the one that needed to listen. “Don’t look down on those who are still alive.”

Aguni didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t how he wanted the conversation to go. He hadn’t expected Takeru to say that.

“… Do you think I’m looking down on you?” ended up being the words that came out of his mouth. “Am I doing something to make you think I am?”

“Mori-chan…” Takeru squeezed his shoulder again. “Of course not. I know you’re not. You never have, in all the years we’ve been friends.” He smiled wryly. “As much as I’m sure you’ve wanted to. I’ve been told I can be a bit of a pain.”

“You’re my pain,” Aguni said immediately. It was what they’d always said to each other. If one of them said he could be an ass, the other would reply that he was his ass.

Takeru’s smile softened into something genuine and he chuckled. “Damn straight. And you’re mine.”

Aguni let himself smile a little. There was Takeru, finally. Still, though… “You’ll think about what I’m saying, though, right?”

He felt a little guilty at how the question made Takeru’s smile fade a little. But then Takeru nodded. “I will. Perhaps we can talk about it at the next executive meeting. You… do make a good point, I suppose.”

Aguni wanted to sigh in relief. He let himself smirk a little. “It must be so hard for you to admit I’m right.”

“Oh, ha ha,” Takeru mocked with a grin. “But seriously, I will. I will think about what you’re saying.”

That was all Aguni had wanted, really. He nodded. “Good.” He paused, glancing at the door. “I should go make sure Niragi hasn’t shot up the place.”

“What a hotheaded young man,” Takeru said with a coy grin. “He’s such a joy to be around.”

That made Aguni crack a dry smile. “An incredible joy.”

Takeru laughed and pushed himself off the desk. “Allow me.” He went over to the door and opened it, making a sweeping gesture out the door. “After you, my good sir.”

With a fond shake of his head, Aguni moved to walk out the door… then was stopped by Takeru placing his hand on his shoulder again.

“Mori… things will change. I promise you. Things will be better.”

Aguni looked at him for a second, taking in how earnest his old friend looked. Then he nodded. “I know.”

Takeru smiled, then clapped him on the shoulder. “Well,” he put his sunglasses back on and gave what Aguni had labeled his Host Club Smile, “back into the fray I go!”

As Takeru sauntered off to rejoin the party in the nightclub, Aguni couldn’t help watching him go. Takeru really did have a talent for reassuring people. But would it really be so bad if Aguni let himself hope Takeru was telling the truth? He was a sensible man. But sensible men could still have hope.

Takeru had listened to him. He had admitted he had a point. He promised him. And for once, wanting to have faith in his best friend, Aguni believed him. Things would change. Things would get better.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They didn’t.

Nothing got better. Everything just got worse.

Aguni blamed those players that got themselves shot and killed. If they hadn’t been hoarding their cards, none of this would’ve happened. But they did, like a bunch of idiots, and all the Beach had to show for it was the beginning of the stacks of bodies in the dumpsters and their newest rule.

Death to the traitors.

He should’ve known Takeru wouldn’t be able to handle it all. Because with the reveal that the players were breaking the rules came the shattering of Takeru’s carefully constructed illusion that everything would be fine. He’d never seen the man look so wildly enraged before.

And ever since then, Takeru wasn’t the same. A darker edge had crept into the way he presented himself, just around the edges, and only just enough that people saw it only if they were looking for it. Aguni seemed to be the only one looking for it. He was different now, darker than the man he was before those fucking Beach members set him off.

“Looking for Hatter, I presume?”

The drawling voice made Aguni turn from the entrance to the nightclub to the young man with the bleached hair and white hoodie standing to his left. Chishiya, the Beach’s newest executive. Takeru kept praising how smart he was and how his intellect was contributing to the Beach’s efforts. Aguni was only reminded of a sly, predatory cat. “That’s none of your business,” he barked.

Chishiya just gave him an unbothered smirk. “Naturally. He’s in his room, by the way. He went there a few hours ago with a couple of girls.” Without waiting for a response, he turned and walked off towards a young woman in a blue bikini chewing a fake cigarette.

Of course he was. He should’ve checked there first instead of the nightclub. Takeru had stopped going there lately.

Aguni didn’t waste any more time and turned to head towards the stairs to Takeru’s room. With any luck Takeru would be sober enough to string together a coherent sentence.

Sure enough, he was there, and indeed was sprawled out on his couch with two girls on either side of him. Aguni’s thumping footsteps must have announced his arrival, because Takeru looked up and grinned widely upon seeing him. “Aguni! I’d recognize those heavy footfalls anywhere!”

Aguni hated the state his friend was in. He was clearly already drunk. His lips were stained red with lipstick. Those damn sunglasses never left his face these days…

“I’ve been looking for you,” he said gruffly, trying to ignore the girls running their hands all over Takeru’s torso and kissing his neck and chest.

“Aww, little old me?” Takeru’s grin was borderline mean. “You’re so sweet, Mori-chan.”

Aguni wanted to sigh (and not think about how much seeing that mean smile hurt). “We need to talk.” He glanced at the girls. “In private.”

“You always want to see me privately. Why can’t we be out and about proudly for everyone to see? Are you ashamed of our relationship, Mori-chan?”

“I am being serious,” Aguni said, trying to make his words hit as deeply as possible.

“You always are. Why not relax for once? It won’t kill you.”

It was becoming very hard to not punch that lazily unbothered grin off his face. “You made me a promise, Hatter.”

Aguni felt a flash of slightly spiteful satisfaction when the grin immediately slipped off Takeru’s face. But then it was back as he nonchalantly shrugged. “So what?”

“So things are not changing in the way you implied they would be.”

“Because things are different now. We must adapt to new situations, or we’ll never—”

“Don’t give me speeches,” Aguni interrupted with a scowl. “I’m not one of your followers.”

That made Takeru pause, and Aguni went on. “You told me you would think about what I said. You told me things would change. They haven’t changed—they’ve only gotten worse. Did you forget that promise?”

There was a long silence. No one moved, not even the girls. Everyone, from the girls to the two militants guarding the door, seemed tense as they waited for the unmoving Takeru to respond. He simply stared up at Aguni, expression unreadable with those damn sunglasses.

“That was then,” he finally said, in a voice that was soft but seemed to fill the entire room. His voice shook with something. “This is now. The Beach needs a leader, and I have been chosen as the leader. Sacrifices need to be made.”

Aguni half-wanted that long, tense silence back. “So you’ll just let it get worse?”

“Is it really worse? Is it any worse than the horrors we face every night? Not everyone is so desensitized to violence and death, Aguni.”

The way his name was spat out nearly made Aguni flinch.

“Perhaps you only have the Beach’s best interests at heart,” Takeru went on, “but so do I. And out of the two of us, I’m the leader. You and the militants answer to me. So I am going to keep things as they are.” He looked up, and Aguni hated the glare he could feel coming from behind the sunglasses. “Is that clear?”

Aguni felt something painful erupt in his chest. He wanted to argue. He wanted to say no, that wasn’t clear, that this was insane. That he was worried about him, because he was spiraling so far down a path Aguni couldn’t follow. That it was becoming harder to tell where Hatter, leader of the Beach ended and Danma Takeru began.

“Yes. It is.”

The words felt like a betrayal.

They seemed to flip some sort of switch, because a second later, the lazy, unbothered grin was back and Takeru sat back against the back of the couch. “Wonderful! Glad we’re all on the same page. You’re free to go now.” His grin turned suggestive. “Unless you’d like to watch. Or you could even join. I’m very flexible.”

Aguni wanted to do neither of those things. Wordlessly, he turned and began to leave.

“Oh, by the way,” Takeru called, “some of the militants caught a few people trying to leave. Would you be a dear and help them move the bodies out of the basement? They would ask Ann, but I think they’re a little scared of her.”

All he gave in reply was a grunt. Then he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Aguni Morizono was a sensible man. He covered his own ass, didn’t overthink things, and minded his business. And he never operated under delusions of any kind.

Except the one where he wasn’t losing his best friend, apparently.

[smonk-wonk]

if your not arab and not israeli the conversation isn't about you. you don't have to worry about hamas from where you live

Imagine if we applied that logic to literally anything else. "Slavery? If you're not a slave owner or a slave in the USA stfu. Holocaust? If you're American why do you even care??? BLM? Stay out of it if you're not black! Stop Asian Hate? Hm you don't look Asian though! Why do you care about the Ukraine that's between them and Russia!" the conversation is about me because I'm human and its occurring on my planet but also because my country is responsible for supplying the bombs being dropped on civilians. The cutesy little messages on the bomb shells might mostly be written by Israel, but it's alongside the labels of US weapons manufacturers.

I also wouldn't be worrying about Hamas if I were literally anywhere because they're not out to get me, they're not going guns blazing firing bunker busters and white phosphorus over civilian areas. The occupation was a threat long before October 7th and before Hamas existed.

You know something interesting? I've never seen an oppressed group or one genuinely being targeted tell people to stay out of it. I've seen so so many people in support of the occupation say to stay out of it, it's not your fight, etc. But I have not seen one Palestinian say it. I can't speak for the feelings of those I have not seen express them but while I've seen Palestinians rightfully call out those on the wrong side of history, I've yet to see one tell anyone to look away because that's just as deadly.

Someone saying "it's not my problem so I'll look away" helps the side committing the war crimes. If you walk by and see a bunch of guys robbing a bank it sure helps them a lot more if you say you saw nothing than it's helping the hostages they're killing. The ones being killed will say "what the hell are you doing? Help us why are you walking away?? And why is that guy giving the robbers more weapons what the fuck??" but they will never tell you to shut up and walk away like you saw nothing

So it's a little fuckin weird whenever I hear someone say to look the other way as those people tend to be on the wrong side of history. Like every time

[separatist-apologist]

I always want to hear your unsolicited hater thoughts thought 👀🤡

Okay so here are my hater thoughts on King of Wrath. Please just scroll along if you liked this book, I am only speaking for myself.

First of all, when I bought this book, I knew better because I did not like the Twisted series by Ana Huang. I read three of them and quit 3/4ths of the way through with the book with the red head when [spoiler alert] the shitty romantic lead sexually assaulted the FMC for thin plot reasons I no longer care to remember.

But I am SUCH a sucker for an arranged marriage (as we all know), and I was in Kansas City in this three story Barnes and Noble and riding that Taylor Swift high that I let it cloud my better judgement.

My issues:

Dante is literally just two popular tropes in a trench coat. Dark haired and rich are his entirely personality. If you want to be charitable, you could tack on implausibly, compulsively violent. I'm sorry, but Dante is a BILLIONAIRE who was BORN into his wealth (strike one, but I'll let it go for the purposes of romance), in what world is he ACTUALLY killing people?? Be SO serious. This author wanted to give him an air of danger- baby just tell us what he pays his lowest skilled worker! You want me to believe this man is killing his enemies? LMAO I laughed out loud several times when Dante was making his threats.

Vivian is also personality-less. Oh, sure, she WANTS to have a personality but Huang absolutely REFUSES to do any showing. It's all telling. So I'm told Vivian is this badass working girl (not-like-other-girls because unlike all those OTHER heiresses, she WORKS god shut the fuck up- she spent 100k very casually in the course of a day, so like....which is it baby?) making her own way but then Dante shows up acting like the worlds biggest piece of shit and she's like, okay I guess I'll move in with you.

And I know someone is going to come in and say it was the cultural pressure that dragged her into this and I really wanted more of that. It gets touched on but like, so carefully like Huang was too afraid to really commit to her plot. Vivian is Asian-American, and we really dance around what that meant to her. There is a moment right at the end where her mother is discussing why their wealth will NEVER be enough for some people and I was like, oh finally here we go- but the mom is like, you know why. And Vivian is like, yeah, I know why. And that's the end of that! And of course, Dante is never asked to respect any of the cultural differences present, nor does he (threatening to take her dad down AGAIN was just like...oh so you learned NOTHING okay cool).

I think asking readers to believe a modern day arranged marriage was always going to be a tough sell and I wish Huang had really committed to it. She really doesn't, though- Dante is an asshole right up until the very end and one of the things I hate about Huangs MMC's is that they NEVER truly atone for their bad behavior. One of her MMC's stalks the love interest until she breaks down and then Dante is just like, "I miss you" "But I'm still threatening your dad" and Vivian folds like cardboard and ultimately, Dante got everything he wanted and only ever had to treat her well just long enough to get her down the aisle.

The closest this book every came to being self aware is when Vivian is like, we're bad for each other YEAH I AGREE. Like no chemistry AT ALL, the author really relies on Dante being hot (which we're told no less than 8 times a chapter) to do her heavy lifting. The smut is just mid, in my opinion- its not the worst thing, not the best thing, it just is.

Ultimately, Vivian and Dante have no personalities that we aren't told about, even if they directly contradict what we do see. This feels like a book written specifically to market the tropes/whats popular on booktok and so of course it's not good. It's got a few good lines I'll bet she used to market it, but everything in between reads like a first draft.

Would I recommend this? No. If you want to read it, should you? Sure. It's not going to harm you, I think you'll be like me and close it like, "well. thats done". Counts toward my reading goal.

[bouncybrain]

I just need to rant about some stuff here. I need to get some thoughts off my chest. It's ass o'clock in the morning and I haven't slept because I keep thinking. This isn't going to be as coherent as it could be, it's messy and rushed and stream-of-consciousness, but if I stop to think about making this something perfect and widely acceptable I'll never end up writing it.

My skin is white but my heritage is not, and I often worry that people will get upset at me for creating Chinese characters with any skin tone other than white.

But why?

I know I'm borderline white-passing, but my dad isn't. He never talks about stuff unless [backstory] so I can't be sure, but being both Chinese and brown isn't something we see regularly in media today, much less fifty years ago. Nobody acknowledges this. I feel like I have a creative duty to make characters my dad can relate to, because nobody else will. (Generic statement, don't get at me over the nuance of representation by online creators, I know.)

It's hard to be in Western fandoms for Chinese media, too. Generally anything East Asian because dear lord. The layers of racism are strong. I stopped interacting so much with Hoyoverse game fandoms primarily because they practically enjoy getting riled up over how it's okay for a Chinese company to just not have brown or black people in their games (it's not).

Just because I inherited a sliver of privilege thanks to the color of my skin doesn't mean I should just give up because I'm scared people are going to point at it and tell me I'm not allowed to do this. What if my genetics had flipped a coin and landed on the other side? What if it happened to my siblings? I hate to say it but we are, in some twisted capacity, lucky that we have skin no darker than a particularly zealous tan.

We are lucky, because there were light-skinned Asian characters (stereotypical though they were) on TV and in games. I could point at American Dragon Jake Long and say "look, that is me, he looks just like me." If I had taken after my dad by more than 80% I would not have been able to say that. I had to point at Jackie Chan Adventures and go "that's kind of my dad... but... not really?" because there was nobody who looked like him.

Yeah, sure, super popular white powder makeup for perfectly white skin and whatever. I don't care. Shut the fuck up. These are still real people who live and breathe today. You cannot dismiss their experiences or lack thereof by going "yeah, well, your culture always wanted you to be white, anyway" because that is still racist.

Maybe it's because I've gotten older and more jaded, but the world isn't getting better any faster. There is still so much hatred and racism out there specifically aimed at Asians that nobody bats an eye at. One of my siblings was called out to by a trusted adult as "Covid" just out in public in front of other people; if we were not in an area with as large a population (still relatively small) of East Asian heritage, it would have been laughed off.

I haven't ever really posted publicly about any of these Chinese characters I've made yet, because I am worried. I am not as immersed in part of my culture as I would have liked to be, but I can't help thinking that it may have been a mercy in the time I was growing up in, and that my dad has only ever been so distant because he was protecting himself. (That may be too optimistic, but I can hope.) I still want to make these characters, because if the genetic lottery had landed on a different slot, I would have been making them anyway.

Maybe I really am making them for my dad. Maybe I'm making them for myself in search of a culture I was denied. Maybe I'm making them for the life we could have lived. Maybe I'm making them for everyone else. My cousins, their children, their friends. People I'll never meet.

It's a good thing there's so much representation, but everyone always forgets the other half. And it's usually the other half with darker skin.

[captainstoneybaloney]

I have got to the point where when someone makes an obviously bullshit accusation of someone being a russian misinfo bot if you say anything critical of biden, that's an automatic block.

You KNOW they're not a bot. You just refuse to engage in good faith with what they're saying. You know the things biden does are indefensible, so you don't defend them, instead you make up different stuff to pretend the commenter said, stuff that's a lot easier to argue against, and talk to them like they're a moron. "Oh, and trump's gonna be better how, exactly?" That would be an easy argument to win, if the other person had actually said that. But they didn't. You created a strawman to argue against instead, and are gonna be loud and aggressive about it so they'll just shut up, and you won't have to worry about the ethical implications of defending an evil status quo.

Biden lied, right from the beginning, about having personally seen the nonexistant photos of beheaded babies. He used that to try to trick us into consenting to help them bomb the bejesus out of a captive population.

Biden supports the ban on tiktok, which has been giving the american people a perspective not pre-filtered by major u.s. news sources and social media. If we don't hear those nasty facts, we might stop complaining about helping them do it.

He's also denying that it's a genocide and letting his press people get pissy at reporters when they press them about it.

Biden supports the suppression of the protesting students. Not a surprise, because the BLM protests and what led to them inspired him to tell us how much he loves the cops, and how the answer to police brutality is to just give them more and more money and support.

Let me emphasize this further: biden has access to more information on this situation than possibly any other. There is no question he knows what is actively going on. He is using his power as predident to make it easier for them to commit this genocide. His response to our backlash about this is suppression and punishment of dissent.

Biden campaigned on how fucked up the concentration camps for Mexicans at the border were, and then proceeded to not only do nothing to fix it, but to let it get even worse on his watch, and just never mention it again.

There's the health coverage crisis, that if you remember, when he was running in the primary against Sanders, his platform was to not help us because our ability to choose between insurance providers in the business of not helping us was more important than getting medical care. He said, out of his own mouth, that he was not a progressive.

If trump is standing there, and you draw a line in front of him, no, in fact, fuck no, biden is not nearly different enough from trump to be qualified to stand on the other side of that line and point at trump and call the kettle black.

I undersrand a lot of you are in vulnerable positions. You might say, "hey, i have to vote for him in self-preservation, because the other side are openly planning on criminalizing my existence." To that, I say "fair point." I'm not arguing against it. In fact, and I'll capitalize it for emphasis:

I AM NOT TELLING ANYONE NOT TO VOTE FOR BIDEN. I AM SURE AS FUCK NOT SUGGESTING ANYONE VOTE FOR TRUMP.

I would pay to see both of them fall into an active volcano like the Gollum.

What I am telling people they should do is stop perpetuating bullshit. Stop trying to get people to stop saying true things because it makes it harder to pretend the guy you want them to vote for isn't both stupidly evil and arrogantly obvious about it. Stop acting like it's our obligation to eat shit and pretend it's chocolate ice cream. Stop acting like voting for biden isn't something we're being made to do under the threat of trump. Stop acting like the democrat party isn't encouraging the republicans to get further out of control because it makes it easier for them to look good by comparison while steering, (I won't say "drifting" because that implies it could be accidental) further and further right every year.

Things are dire, but you don't have to be a useful idiot and give your fucking endorsement to things worsening. You don't have to volunteer to help them hold the gun they're pointing at us to coerce us into voting for them. You don't have to run into every post rightfully critcizing biden and accuse people of a psyop while making a show of how hard you can suck his fascist dick.

[crmsnmth-journal]

4/14/2024 9:00 PM

I had a really good Sunday. I didn't get much done at all, but I got to refresh my head. I went down to the river's edge and hiked to the bridge and back, about four miles all together. The woods are really waking up now that it seems spring is officially here. I'm not sure, but if I had to guess, we probably hit seventy degrees today. There's a tradeoff though, because now my room seems unreasonably hot. I won't open my window, because my screen has holes in it, and I really do not like bats in the house. I love to see them outside, but I do not like them flying around my house. They freak me out, and for some reason or other, rabies scares the absolute hell out of me. I don't mess with wild animals that can bite me and kill me with a disease that looks like something extremely horrible to go through.

I got my first negative "you suck" comments on one of my poems, and, maybe this is weird, but that makes me beyond happy. Sure, getting likes and reblogs, and nice comments are fun and all, but I was waiting until someone thinks I am so awful at what I love to do, that they need to tell me. If it's constructive, I'm all for it, and I will take those opinions with deep consideration, but to those who just tell me I suck, without really knowing anything about what I do, or more importantly WHY i do what i do, I feel sad for. Art critics. The idea of being a critic in any form of art fields is a laugh. Art is subjective. What I write means something different for someone else. What I see in my head is a totally different painting then the one hanging up on the wall. What I hear in music is far off from what someone else's ears hear. And that should be respected. I can't stand Taylor Swift, but I respect her place in the music world. I don't think Van Gogh paintings aren't all the beautiful, but I still consider him one of the masters but I'd put Robert S. Connet on that hill too. Memento dragged on, but Christopher Nolan is one of my favorite directors. And if you see something, and your thought is "wow, this sucks" and not "Let's try to make it better" maybe it's best you just shut the fuck up and let people have their thing. I will always love "You suck" comments, on the simple fact I've pissed one more stranger off.

But now, I'm sitting here, writing this and I'll write a few other lines while watching Melancholia for who knows how many times. I love me some Lars Von Trier films. The guy is a master at his craft. I need a break from Futurama anyway. As much as I love the show, after a bit some of the characters just irritate me and I can't do the show. I'm at a good spot to take a break anyway. The very beginning of the "movie" season.

Hopefully my brother turns up soon. They were headed into town so I sent them with some money to pack me up some soda and pop tarts. Yes, I know. I eat like a twelve year old. I don't care. I don't eat much, and when a strawberry poptart and a coke is all I can get down, it's healthier than not eating anything at all, right? Kind of ironic isn't it? A chef with no appetite. I can't remember the last time I ate something from where I work.

I did forget to take about Jolie yesterday. I've known her for years, as she used to run the kitchen in the American Legion at the same time I first took over the bowling alley kitchen. And we have always gotten along extremely well. It's always a good time when she's around. Just that kind of person. So she left the legion and hasn't done anything in the business since, but her and her husband are looking to buy a restaurant, and she offered me the job to come on has an actual head chef. I mean, I'd get to do menus again, and work with distributors and come up with stuff and have the actual fun parts of the job handed back. Of course, that means I'd also have to do the shitty parts too, budgets, scheduling, budgets, most maintence, did I mention budgets? Still, maybe it's a sign? I've been talking about how badly I want out of the alley, that maybe this is the universe giving me an option to do that, and maybe even re-light the fire and the passion for food to burn bright again?