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I end up talking about calligraphy a reasonable amount on here and lately it's been bugging me that I haven't shared my work before. I also practice! To absolutely nobody's surprise, I have lately been practicing with Hannibal quotes.
#calligraphy#my calligraphy#this is#italic#and#foundational#my very least favorite thing to do is quote selection#truly special hell#the poetry hobby i don't have would be immensely useful if only i had it#fortunately hannibal is a pretty good source!#i've dusted off my old pens in the last couple of months and it feels good#also#the statement “i haven't shared my work before”#is only mostly true#about 99% true#the counterexample is _right_ there#but maybe not particularly obvious
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you can make fun of felix for sounding dumb when he speaks, he does say some very funny and questionable, somewhat bizarre things at times, but there's a certain point where I am going to judge you for it a little bit <3
#he reminds me of my brother#are either of them particularly graceful in their use of the english language? no. Regardless.#god this is why i can never deal with smartie pants people on this website bc you'll be So omg i support everyone#im so progressive 😌 and then you'll just go and mock someone for struggling with words lmao#youre really not and i know you and your 'I was a gifted student' ass was probably nasty to the kids who had to get extra help at school#like laughing at foon or him saying does chicken have meat in it is legit fine- he has some great stoner lines for a sober guy#but when he uses a slightly awkward turn of phrase but you can still easily understand what he meant and yet youre calling him an idiot?#Uh. I will judge you for that :)#like maybe im sensitive after getting called dumb more than once by literal adults as a child- adults who missed my very obvious and#apparent dsylexia and adhd has made me sensitive but i dont care. some of you are just mean for the sake of being mean#felix might never see your posts but other people who relate to him in that way very well might
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I can't stop thinking about this Umino Shota situation, so I'm gonna write about it.
Umino has been in a very weird position for quite a while now, when it comes to his character, his booking, and his crowd response. I feel like it has finally hit some kind of breaking point at the recent KOPW show.
When Umino walked out to challenge for the IWGP HW belt, he didn't just "get booed" - he got a mix of cold silence, some scattered booing, and some overt heckling from people in the crowd shouting "Go home" at him. That wasn't even the kind of booing you want in pro wrestling - it was an outright rejection of him by the crowd.
(You can hear the heckling starting at about 3 minutes in during this video - people in the crowd start shouting "Kaere!" "Go home!" This mix of scattered booing, icy quiet, and heckling is not the kind of response NJPW goes for even for actual heel wrestlers.)
It was also absolutely not the response that anybody there had planned for or anticipated. Umino looked legitimately upset, Zack immediately took action to calm down the crowd before things got ugly, and then Takagi came out to keep things moving when it was clear the crowd was not going to change their tone. If any of this response had been planned, they would've encouraged it instead, or at least given it a little more space to play out.
In his backstage comments afterwards, Umino addressed the comparison that fans have repeatedly been making between himself and Stardust Genius era Naito. Umino rejected that comparison.
(Personally, I agree that the two situations aren't identical, but for a different reason - Naito was a much more well-established wrestler when the crowd turned on him, while Umino has never even held a title.)
In any case, the fact that Umino is directly addressing the comparisons that fans keep making, rather than ignoring them, was noteworthy to me.
Today, an article about the situation was released in Tokyo Sports. Tokyo Sports is a kayfabe magazine, and anything published there is generally done to forward the intended story of the wrestlers involved.
The headline reads: Umino Shota - "Booing = Big Shot" Proof of his decision to fight for the IWGP "Even Tanahashi-san himself said, I'm leaving it to you, Sho-chan"
This is... not helping to counter the feelings of the fans that Umino is being given a spot he doesn't deserve, to say the least. And quoting Tanahashi calling him the cutesy nickname "Sho-chan" isn't helping either.
With this being addressed directly in the kayfabe ToSpo, I have to believe it means they'll be addressing it directly in the storyline as well. And it's very easy to imagine some scenarios where they could repeat the infamous fan vote that eventually turned Naito ungovernable. But with the differences between Naito's situation and Umino's, I'm not sure how well this will actually work if they do end up trying it...
As for my own feelings about all this - I don't like or dislike Umino as a wrestler right now - more than anything, I feel like he hasn't solidified as a wrestler enough for me to have much of an opinion on him yet. But this whole situation has been fascinating to watch as it plays out.
#umino shota#njpw#shota umino#All this stuff is just my opinion obviously#Umino's situation does remind me a lot of Naito's previous situation in a whole lot of ways but it's very different in a few key ways too#Naito was much more established. The crowd turning on him felt like it came from a much more organic place too.#But I believe they both come from the same essential issue - the crowd feeling a lack of authenticity#I don't particularly blame Umino for any of this by the way if that isn't obvious. He's doing the best he can with the situation.#Anyway I'm still not up to posting much but I could not stop thinking about this so I thought maybe writing it down would help
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It's okay to just be binary you know
It's also okay to let trans people do whatever they want forever. Hope this helps.
#ask#anon#exorsexism#it's always interesting seeing these things because... what is inspiring this?#is it some sort of misguided notion that nonbinary people are somehow oppressing the Real Trans (binary people)?#or maybe the idea that there are Too Many Pesky Nonbinaries compared to the more binary trans people?#or that nonbinary people Don't Transition so they aren't truly trans? Like I've seen this exact shit for YEARS now#like i don't particularly want to put words in your mouth anon but i'm also not willing to play into your obvious hangups...#...about how OTHER people live and ID#because i already KNOW it's ~okay~ to be binary. ask me how i know. i LIVE as a binary man. For years. I'm well-aware.#because i don't know the Exact reason anon sent this i'm not going to assume but i also know better than to think this is good faith#this has the same energy as people unprompted telling bi people 'its okay to be straight/gay instead :('#posting to highlight y'all (general) are still Not Normal about nonbinary people
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i contain multitudes and can say that i am a little :( about vex and percy being teammates with benefits because i think there’s something particularly heartbreaking about the dynamic that was neither of them ever said a thing even though they both were aware of it and it took losing percy for vex to finally admit it and Even Then, she couldn’t say it to percy’s face when they got him back, percy was the one who had to make the first move (that they were both alive for at least) and he was only able to do that because he’d heard her confession, because he never would’ve thought otherwise. to be clear, i also very much enjoy the story being told, i think i just wish they’d maybe committed more significantly to This Is A Campaign-Inspired Story Rather Than A Retelling sooner in the show so that maybe there would be a bit more grounding or set-up for the storylines the narrative is focusing on (and i understand why they wouldn’t), because i think they’re doing very well with percy’s arc for example, because they started with focusing on his and keeping his beats mostly the same and that seems to be much the same case as some of his second wave of meaty character stuff has arrived. but with vex they’ve aimed for the same character beats but it doesn’t always feel as earned or really feel like much character at all; i think saundor particularly was a bit of an :/, since in the campaign it was really a catalyst for vex interrogating her role in the party and her morality and something she struggled to get over and that haunted her far beyond the walls of that tree, but in the show it hasn’t really had a clear impact on vex beyond the scope of the episode itself — syldor certainly has, but the challenge that saundor presented didn’t really have much weight beyond its moment. and obviously a large part of that’s also probably just, 7 protagonists and wanting to expand the perspectives to antagonists and give more room for side characters is a lot of things to cover. and, i say with love, perhaps a bit too ambitious for a 12 episode per season, ~22 minute runtime show if they want their characters to have the kind of depth that really makes campaign 1 shine the way it does.
#rambly thoughts sponsored by early morning haze and complex feelings about different medium storytelling#but i truly do question the choice to have such expansive parts of the story be showing the perspectives of antagonists or side characters#especially when it has a clear cost on the consistency of character depth#i think vex in particular suffers from it because she’s such an internal character that to get the most compelling of her beats right#a Lot of care has to be put into it#but as it is#a lot of the vex story beats are only really felt if you have the c1 knowledge to recognize them#obvs i think there’s likely a more obvious one upcoming#but . i miss vex who only cared about vox machina to the degree that it made her morally shitty to others#and i’m :( we won’t get to see that journey in the show. but alas! that’s what the campaign is for#this also is like. the continually questionable choice to change the trinket backstory in kith and kin having rippling consequences#to be clear this is in no way a like. i think there’s favouritism or anything i have no doubt in the casts ability to advocate for themselve#that said i do think that maybe their choices aren’t always the strongest writing wise !#my complaints or critiques tend to be ones about vex in particular because she is my blorbo of all time#but in general if not for my love of cr i don’t know if i think tlovm is a particularly strong story. it’s entertaining certainly#tlovm spoilers#tlovm#critical role#cr1 spoilers
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tfw the person you love with all your being loses the round and is killed in front of your eyes
#khr#katekyo hitman reborn#khr fanart#sawada tsunayoshi#my art#still have no clue who would take sua's role in this#like the obvious answer is kyoko. but then that kinda raises the question abt where ryohei fits in all this#hypothetically kyoko could fit the role of hyuna. but so could chrome. so could lal mirch#maybe haru? but she's such a cheery character that the vibes don't particularly match#ofc so is kyoko but she's a lot calmer in comparison so it works better i think#idk man i've already put way more thought into this then i originally intended#mukuro or byakuran in luka's role is also floating around in my brain#i'm leaning more towards the former for that one#solely bc it opens to possibility of hibari in hyuna's role#and that is such a big personality clash that i'm kinda living for it tbh#i should probably make a tag for this au#alien stage au
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They're bi4bi. They're coworkers. They solve crimes. Nobody comments on the crimes they commit together. She's very pretty and fashionable and he's a guy in a suit (affectionate). They didn't sleep together but they didn't not sleep together. Their favourite mode of communication is the double entendre.
#i was going to add the “i didn't say their names etc.”#but i couldn't be bothered#most of the time i can't get into m/f ships#but i love this dynamic#it's steed and peel#and msr#and maybe the ashes to ashes guys too i just haven't watched enough of that to be certain yet#the avengers (tv show)#x-files#do i tag a2a?#yeah why not#a2a#partywithponies you are the exact target demographic for this post i hope you see it#steed and peel have both killed people and nobody ever talks about it#it's never particularly obvious but there's a lot of#“oh that guy's never going to get up” or “maybe he survived that fall out the window but like. how likely is that”#msr's crimes are more like. constant breaking and entering#most of the time they have probable cause#occasionally mulder will enter some guy's house because he's convinced that they're using evil cockroaches to commit murders#with zero actual evidence for that line of thinking
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happy late bday gakupookie
#shitpost#vocaloid#kamui gakupo#kaito vocaloid#megurine luka#meiko vocaloid#ok thats IT. NO MORE MAIN TAGS#sorry i didnt have time to do anything worthwhile king i was depressed 😔✌️💔#cause u think for someone who based their whole mainblog theme off him u'd think i would've. but nah#also rip in hell all the other vocas bdays i always miss but theres a select certain few i always remember bc they're particularly importan#to me lol. very obvious favoritism clearly... i never talk abt him but i do love eggplant man lol and i'd love to draw more of him tbh#but i feel my art style does not do him justice 😔 he is sooo hard for me to draw for some fuckin reason#one day i'll learn maybe and make him the gorgeous stunning beautiful man as he deserves to be... who said that. anyways.#my brother visibly recoiled in so much disgust when i said 'gakupookie' outloud LMAO win for cringe nation population me
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*scrolling through tumblr and sees immaculate, mouth-watering art*
"Wow!"
*it's of a toxic couple back when they were together/them being bitter exes in present time*
"Oh, these two aren't healthy in any way, shape, or form"
...
*likes it anyway*
(Read tags)
#im specifically talking about billford#like....bill is more toxic than xenomorph drool#and a crazy motherfucker#and i agree with mabel in that one page of tbob#bill needs to move tf on and leave that poor old geezer alone#dude manipulated ford so much its not even cute or funny#but the art i keep seeing of these 2....jesus christ#yall are too talented#i hate the idea of canon ford and bill getting back together but i love the bill au ideas and seeing memes of bill being clingy#and the art#oml the art#the way some of y'all be drawing ford is giving me gender envy ffs#i dont particularly ship billford for obvious reasons#but bill acting like a petty and clingy ex is so funny to me + the “fell first/fell harder” trope (ford did NAWT fall harder 😭)#im all for one sided billford#and the art is so yummy for these two#so...#oh and btw fiddauthor is a tad strange#like the idea of ford and fidd reconnecting & maybe being lovers in old age after the events of weirdmaggedon is fine#but i highly doubt that fidd would've cheated on his wife or abandoned his kid for ford#sure he fucked up in other ways when it came to his family and the subtext and implications of feelings may be there#but still...he was married#and even if he loved ford more#fidd doesnt come off like the kind of person to do that#and bro is NAWT pulling 💀#he is the equivalent of a sopping wet dog /pos#anyways#theres my 2 cents on the shipping stuff in gravity falls currently#yeah.#gravity falls
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The Frozen Lake
It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.
About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.
He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.
While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.
That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…
For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.
Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.
“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”
A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.
Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.
“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.
Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.
Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.
“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.
A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”
Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”
“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.
Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”
A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”
That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.
“Still… why did you leave?”
“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”
A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.
“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”
“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”
Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.
Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.
“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.
“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”
“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.
“Why not?”
A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.
“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.
Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”
“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”
“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”
What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.
“Fine.”
“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”
After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.
Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.
Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.
From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.
“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”
A’viloh nodded.
“They do. Thank you very much for these.”
Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”
But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”
“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”
A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.
So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.
“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?
Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.
“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.
“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.
Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”
For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.
Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...
While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.
“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”
Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.
After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”
A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.
“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”
“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.
As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.
The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.
“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.
Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.
But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.
Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.
Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.
With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.
“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.
“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.
Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”
“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”
The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”
A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”
Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”
“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”
Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”
A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”
“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”
He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”
“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”
Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”
“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”
“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.
“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.
“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”
The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”
“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”
Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”
For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.
“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”
Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.
With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”
“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.
“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”
Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”
In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.
He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”
But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”
For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.
And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.
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inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ffxiv writing#ffxiv screenshots#gpose#Aviloh Tia#Haurchefant Greystone#This ended up sadder than I wanted actually XD#But at least it ends on a good note and thats worth something huh?#I read that poem while I was still writing the last story and thought it fitted A'vi's mood quite well#and that it would be sweet to make him go ice skating although he has no clue what that is and how to do it :D#Did I ever tell you A'vi is his own worst enemy sometimes? I probably did or you figured that out by yourself by now...#If he thinks he can't do something he won't even try#I like to blame that on the expectactions people had for him and which he failed repeatedly but it's probably a bit of a character flaw too#However before late HW it is probably also very easy to talk him into pretty much anything if you have the slightest bit of persuasion skil#oops thats probably a character flaw too... but in this case it is useful at last :D#A'vi will get better soon I promise!#Well obviously he will get worse first for obvious reasons but then he'll get better eventually!#Maybe... I hope... Oh boy I am seriously trying but this sad cat doesn't want to be happy D:#I think getting the Scions back will help a little and so will the happenings of Stormblood I think...#And regarding Haurchefant: I don't think I see this as particularly romantic (I mean from Haurchefant's side maybe given his character)#I should probably make a post one of these days giving some iside look on A'vi's emotions! because it's complicated! XD#he's been alive but not really living for so long now and maybe this near-death-expierence was necessary to make him think about that...#rant over! I'll make a different post another day! this already got out of hand again...#and once again I’m posting this on a Friday! i might just start calling it FanficFriday! which doesn’t mean you get something each week XD
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I love the new story but if it’s set in 1952 why does everyone dress like it’s the 1920s
#Silas’ outfit was based on a photobashed image of Charles Ponzi so I guess it would make sense for bill to be unaware of fashion trends#But was living Silas also just socially inept wearing vintage clothing or did bill seek out the roaring 20s aesthetic intentionally#Like it’s not THAT big of a difference particularly in men’s fashion but still#Also him constantly downing formaldehyde is so silly and unnecessary I think he’s just doing it for the environmental impact#Or maybe he doesn’t understand it doesn’t do much cycling a gastric system that doesn’t absorb anything#Maybe that’s how he kept so many bugs alive#This story is so interesting and I want more but I’m not sure I’ll get any#Yeah yeah cartoon about triangle satan and gnomes it’s not gonna be super realistic but I’m autistic and want the world to be more fleshed#Out#im soooo normal about this. Is my mortician special interest obvious#Two ends of my special interest spectrum fashion and human decomposition#Chatterbomb#Anyway. Hi.
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Tfw when you're trying to foreshadow something and every hint you work into the story feels like a blinking neon arrow pointing directly at the solution.
#writing#writeblr#kaj rambles#i am not a particularly subtle person and if you *know* what you're aiming for it always feels way too obvious#maybe i can make my brother read the story and tell me if the hints are too obvious#but it's extremely not a ship he's interested in at all#so maybe i'll just have to deal
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like im don’t really care about my appearance or my gender presentation but the fact remains that the most euphoric i felt about my looks was when i was 15 we were passing an exam at a different school than my usual one and when i went out to pee and asked a teacher where the bathroom was she looked confused and asked “men’s or women’s?”
#to clarify i had shoulder length hair and wore pants a shirt and a vest so like. nothing particularly gnc#(even though i strived for that but. yknow. my mom would never let me)#it still makes me sad that i’ll never be able to present truly androgynously because i have very obvious female figure#like binding wont help i can’t bind my fucking hips after all#ugh. sorry today is whining day#maybe because one of my pills is late and i have missed two doses already#arnold’s laments
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what songs remind you of nicojack, could be desi too
Oh! This is fun! And also very very hard because I genuinely have never seriously thought about this, but lets give it a try:
1. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince by Taylor Swift
the song that is behind my NicoJack tag...
My team is losing, battered and bruising I see the high fives between the bad guys Leave with my head hung, you are the only one Who seems to care
No cameras catch my muffled cries I counted days, I counted miles To see you there, to see you there And now the storm is coming, but It's you and me, that's my whole world
It's you and me, there's nothing like this Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince
2. Yellow by Coldplay
this, to me, is Nico POV of Jack...
Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And all the things that you do
3. Such Great Heights by The Postal Service
imagine with me, when Nico and Jack et al finally win the Cup...
And I have to speculate That God Himself did make Us into corresponding shapes Like puzzle pieces from the clay
They will see us waving from such great heights Come down now, they'll say
4. Grapejuice by Harry Styles
it’s just about the fact that they’re the two pillars of the Devils, its them, they can’t do it without each other...
Thought that we could hide away in a corner of the heath There's never been someone who's so perfect for me
There's just no gettin' through Without you A bottle of rouge Just me and you
5. Saathiya from Saathiya
had to include ONE Bollywood song!
#NicoJack#1386#Nico Hischier#Jack Hughes#New Jersey Devils#Text#Ask#Question#Anonymous#Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince#I'm usually very good with being able to collect songs for a ship#but NicoJack have always kind of eluded me#so its a lot smaller of a list and also not as well thought through#like I feel like I'm missing quite obvious ones#but maybe one day I'll be able to have an actual NicoJack playlist#I tried!#not particularly happy with the results but I tried
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Quick palate swap Shiro
#idk if anyones tried this b4#i kinda love them both#but ofc the originals are the best. and so perfectly Her#maybe i should have switched the colors of the neck braces after all... :/#ive always wondered why her bodysuits were designed like they were#i always thought she designed them as a form of artistic expression - like she was forced to wear body suits for the experiments so#eventually she started making them her own and realized she liked doing it#TW for the following tags slight disc of her torture#the targets/dots/ripples in the 1st make me think of both the torture like injection & drill sites as well as her objectification by ha****#but maybe it could be the focusing of blood too#2nd bodysuit (esp in red & white) makes me think of her torture as focused on her limbs being detached from her body ie what it felt like#on that note it feels pretty obvious what the neck braces represent particularly when the latter one has a chain attached to it#the fact that sorae gave her a neck warmer.....#i might have to break all this down in another speculative analysis post bc now im thinking abt aceman's mask & her identity & the CAPE :'(#but anyway its a headcanon of mine that post canon she designs and makes her own clothes#shiro deadman wonderland#deadman wonderland#dmwl
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this has been said but i think there's something so sharply painful about the way that 4x03 lets the "kids" lay everything bare. it lets the kids be kids. grief and fear of impending grief turns you into a child again and i think that all four of them are so so much this. obviously i spend most of my days thinking about kendall, but his "i love you. i can't forgive you. but it's okay and i love you" is so achingly telling of every time he has probably said i love you in the past, it's so Eldest Child Tries To Make Everything Alright ("it's okay and i love you") but also this is his one and only chance to actually say what he has been wanting to say for years ("i can't forgive you"). it's what he's been trying to do for the past three seasons, he's been trying to pull away from logan, to allow himself not to forgive logan and still love him. and now he knows. it's come to the finish line and he can verbalise it. but he's still making things okay because he's the eldest and that's his job. and connor "i never got the chance to make him proud of me" is how connor being an eldest sibling shows up, because he had to fight to prove that his dad was his dad at all, he needed that extra step to prove himself that he was just as worthy a son as kendall and roman, because he is the eldest and should've been the pride and joy and wanted to be the pride and joy. shiv obviously calls logan "daddy" and her voice goes so so soft and breaks so so much and i think it's so interesting that in this season we've seen her really truly hurt and vulnerable twice and isn't this her position in the family always? because you just know that she built herself up to never show hurt or fear or pain because she's the girl and so now, in this scene, we see her before that, we see her needing a parent. and roman i mean his absolute refusal to believe it, his absolute denial of everything, "you're a very good dad", he's a kid who is trying to ignore the fact that his father is a fucking horrible man by focusing on his siblings, focusing on the fact that he must be a very good dad because what else could he be? he's a "monster" but he's roman's dad and he's successful so what else could he be but a very good dad? and it's such an obvious point, but i do think it is just so stark, the way that we see all of them in the most vulnerable way possible and of course, this is always them, they are always operating from these positions and we know it, but with logan's death they are allowed to be so visible about it and it's just like yeah. at the end of the day, a parent has died and they are the children who love him, left to grieve.
#sorry this is long and obvious but i have been Thinking and needed to say something............................. feel particularly unhinged#over succession atm so maybe sorry for later posts.......#succession#succession spoilers
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