#but maybe it's bc i didn't sleep well

[s0fter-sin]

ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.

ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.

just for both his broken halves to be rejected.

what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?

his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.

how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?

did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.

who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?

his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.

johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.

he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.

simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.

ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.

whole, in any incarnation.

[jimmyspades]

[hibernationsuit-remade]

girlie had a Very Bad day at work and didn't want to sit alone with her thoughts. for some reason wanted to see this guy who recently joined their friend group instead of anyone else. he made her green tea. and she also has his sweater now. :3

[skrunksthatwunk]

last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong

[kevin-sedai]

The vibe really deteriorated as the day went on, and now I'm sitting in bed, awake, feeling like garbage

[nerd-cat-rambles]

how I feel writing THREE PAGE LONG kiss scenes for a rarepair nobody cares tf about😓

[moe-broey]

Why did I start like three other projects when I was already working on a big project when I just got hit with the autism exhaustion beam (requires. At least One Full Day just dead in bed, and then some more Taking It Easy time after)

[showyoumyfavoriteobsession]

Roughly once every four years I ponder the alternate timeline where I didn't get scared and quit college rugby after a single practice

[blizzardfluffykpop]

why the fuck do i miss pigeons

[shenyaanigans]

maaaan it's a weird vibe when a youtuber with the conceit that they're a licensed clinical therapist actively talks about how they don't accept sponsorships they don't put their full backing behind, and then that same youtuber accepts a supplement sponsorship repackaged as "bedtime hot chocolate"

[goyurim]

exceptionally talented girls are on tumblr oversharing about their mistakes in the tags

[pixelatedquarter]

OH AND ONE LAST THING!

The seashell submarine, because as overplayed as it is every time there's a band and there's a whimsical submarine- I didn't mention it before but:

And our friends are all on board, many more of them live next door, and the band begins to play...

[altruistic-meme]

WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING TO START WRITING EARLIER KSFHKSHF

[running-in-the-dark]

also.. I've been thinking more about the fact that we'll be living with my in-laws again.

we lived with them before, for about 🤔 four years (I moved in after my dad died). and it was.... how do I put this. not the best time. they're nice, technically, but very distant and cold. so I'm kinda scared of interacting with them and mostly just... didn't.

so I'm probably going to be stuck in our bedroom there for the entire two months. with our two cats. without all my stuff. I love my stuff, I feel lost without it, so that's not great. I'll only be bringing what I absolutely need (and probably my painting supplies - I will go insane if I have nothing to do), so that's going to feel weird.

and I've been thinking about how annoying certain aspects of living there (again) will be. except more annoying now since I won't ever be fully alone. which. hm. I don't like it. (I love our cats and of course it's not the same as having humans around all the time but.. idk I just need my space sometimes 😭)

[depresseddepot]

the hollow places by t kingfisher was fucking terrifying

[astraebled]

sometimes u just gotta let the spirit of jellal possess you or smt idk