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yandere-sins · 3 months ago

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Bad Guy

First Prompt! And I just so happen to find a character that I thought would really match the vibe I wanted to go for. I'm so excited to write for him since I've been mostly keeping out of writing for LaDS, but I do love the characters ♥

Fandom: Love and Deepspace Pairings: Yandere!Sylus x AFAB!Reader Warnings: Yandere, Sexual Content (Dub-Con, BJ, Gagging, Non-Con Touches, Lingerie, Reader is a virgin and inexperienced, Pet names, Degradation, Nicknames), Mention of Body Issues, Forced Captivity, Swear Words, Long Post Prompt: @sintember Innocence - What would you do to preserve it, what will be done to tarnish it?

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"Come now, you make me look like the bad guy."

Legs quivering, you could barely stomach looking down at yourself. It didn't help that you felt how skimpy the outfit was with every move you made. Felt the strings that kept the fabric together pressed into your skin, bit you as if the shame was not enough harm. But looking up and straight ahead was not an option you had either. Not when you knew the smirk on the face that awaited you. Knew about the hungry, predatory sheen in Sylus' eyes if you met them head-on.

Why you? Why did he choose you? You kept wondering as you stood in his bedroom, barely two steps from the man who had ruined your life. You couldn't think of a good reason as to why he needed to keep you to himself, lock you up like an exotic animal, and demand to be the only one to put their eyes on you. Maybe if you had been especially pretty or incredibly rich, his infatuation would have made sense. But it really didn't. None of his actions made sense.

And by now, you didn't even know if you wanted to cry or be angry with him anymore.

The sheer, triangle coverings did nothing to hide, only to expose your nipples, strained as you felt the nubs getting harder. The fabric rubbed them a little more every time you breathed, lungs expanding. Bitterness overcame you as pleasure turned to shame turned to helplessness. You could only stand there, both hands reaching down to hide your privates, all while you heard the man in front of you chuckle.

"Glad to amuse you," you muttered bitterly, biting your lip so hard it tore beneath your teeth. Wearing an outfit that split right around your pussy, giving even easier access than it gave a full view of it, was proof of how you couldn't win against him. If he wanted to, he could be sneaky and uncaring about what you wanted, and forcing you to wear this was yet another challenge he was winning to hold above your head. Sylus had long begun to chip away at any pride or dignity you had, finally ready to deliver the final blow. But although you wanted to break down and cry, hide from the embarrassment, your feeble fighting spirit refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you break down and beg for your clothes back.

You'd be giving him exactly what he wanted—power.

Power over you. The upper hand in this month-long dispute. You had sought him out for a deal, an equal exchange. And he had broken that deal the moment you put your trust in him just so he could keep you for whatever twisted reason. People had warned you of deals with the devil, but you had been too stupid to listen, now finding yourself in a situation too horrifying to speak of. Captivity.

It wasn't like he made you work to earn your keep. There were three meals provided to you every day, and Sylus tried to join whenever he could. He bought you expensive clothes, accessories, and entertainment, always asking what you needed, but never reflecting on his actions, not even when you told him he couldn't buy your love. There was constant surveillance, and the outside was a threat to your life, so the windows and doors stayed locked tightly. You had no means to escape, only able to stay indoors and wait like a good pet.

"But you are the bad guy here, forcing me to wear this."

Your addition seemed to make him thoughtful, a small hum escaping Sylus before he extended his arm towards you. It was a bad idea, you knew that. But if you refused to take his hand, he'd simply come to get you, and you couldn't afford to struggle looking like this.

Embarrassed, you forced one hand away from hiding what should have never been exposed in front of the likes of the leader of Onychinus, someone you thought would be interested in what you had to offer in exchange for the help you needed. Now, it almost seemed like all he wanted was your body, although you doubted it. You never liked seeing yourself in the mirror, but you didn't know anyone who enjoyed seeing themselves. You just thought it was normal not to feel like you were special, and yet, Sylus made you wear something that hid nothing of your insecurities from him.

A shuddering breath escaped you as his fingers wrapped around your hand like a snake suffocating its victim. But he moved on quickly from the threatening touch, twisting and turning his palm until it slithered beneath yours, fingers entwining before he gave you a jerk, forcing you towards him.

You couldn't help but wonder what changed in that one month, although you were lying if you said you didn't see the change in your captor. You thought he was out for ransom at first, keeping you just for the sake of exploiting more out of you than what you were willing to give. Then you caught him watching you, eyes almost softening as he observed. He'd done more than enough touching and manhandling over the course of the month, but he never forced you to wear lingerie and expose yourself.

Admittedly, your fall wasn't graceful as you were pulled forth. Your legs staggered over the sudden jerk, your free hand coming down just behind Sylus's shoulder. One of your legs hit the edge of the couch, knee bending with nowhere else to go until your shin was settled next to his thigh. You sacked forward, the strength in your torso handicapped from the awkward position, but it was better this way. Anything was better than to look into his face.

"The bad guy, eh? So far, I've been pretty nice to you. I have no idea what you mean."

Sylus played with the skimpy fabric around your waist, rubbing the material between his fingers as if to gouge its value. He was tugging at the strings, threatening to undo the triple knots you had made to keep it all together. All while you were shivering from the cold and the hatred he invoked inside of you.

Anger flooded your mind, and you threw your head back, ready to let him have it! Too late did you realize he baited you, forcing you to look at him despite your refusal, the grin on his lips disgustingly victorious, his expression almost besotted now that you met his eyes. There was strength to be drawn from your embarrassment, fury brewing in the pit of your stomach. Your free hand curled into a fist, and you fixated your gaze on his stupid face, ready to bash in that smirk he loved to give you so much!

"Not quick enough," Sylus lamented as he caught your fist in his hand, closing around it in a painful grip. You winced, and he brought your arm down, twisting it behind your back while squeezing the other hand he hadn't given up on holding. "Now, now, let's play nice. And here I thought you liked my gift."

Slinging his whole arm around your midriff, Sylus suddenly pulled you on top of his lap, your legs losing balance, and forced your hips down to settle on top of the bulge in his pants. The second your crotch met his, you felt nauseous, the helplessness making you desperate to get away. You hated every second of this interaction, hated this man for all the abuse he put you through. Was this what he had wanted all along? A sex toy? Why wait this long if he intended to defile you anyway?

Even though you tried to be still as a board, when Sylus bent you backward, closely following behind, you shivered as his hot breath grazed over your nipple. You stared down in horror as his tongue slid out, only the tip of it flicking over your nipple before he watched the nub bounce back into place and, using the flat side of his tongue, pressed down onto it. You shuddered, biting your lip again to hold back a moan.

The room wasn't cold, but his breath felt incredibly hot through the mesh fabric of the coverings, his tongue almost like a hot iron pressed to your skin. Sylus looked up, and you saw the agonizing sight of yourself in the reflection of the red irises, exposed and vulnerable. He smirked, opening his mouth just far enough to take your nub between his teeth, pulling it towards him as you sucked in your breath.

You couldn't help it. Couldn't help the pleasure zapping down your spine and between your legs, the mewl that escaped you as Sylus's teeth slipped off your nipple and bit into the mesh fabric. Your reflection looked so pathetic, but he seemed pleased as he kissed your abused nub, as if to appease it after his teasing.

"I heard something interesting," he muttered against your chest, trailing kisses from one side to the other, briefly burying his face in your body and letting out a content rumble. "Heard you've been wholly neglected, poor thing."

"What do you--"

Giving the hand behind your back a firm shake, warning it to stay in place, Sylus released it, only to drive his hand down to your ass. He slipped lower as you piped up, only to silence you again with his touch. It made you realize fairly quickly what he meant, his fingers curiously slipping through your slick.

"That's not true at all," you argued, closing your eyes and shying away from his keen gaze.

"Really now?"

Feeling his lips curl into a grin above your other nipple was an unfamiliar torture, the fabric of the cover transferring every movement dutifully, heightening your sensitivity. "So the reason you are so wet is because you are experienced. Is that what you're saying? You're not a virgin whose anticipation is making you eager, Kitten? Did you secretively hope I'd help you release some of the tension?"

You felt his fingers apply pressure to your cunt, threatening to slip inside and forcing you to shoot upwards, recoiling from the touch. The throb of his cock beneath your slit vanished, and you cursed your body for aching, almost longing to return to his lap. But how could you? At this rate, he was truly going to take your virginity from you, even though you tried to act as if he wasn't.

It was such a stupid sentiment to cling to the concept of virginity, especially in the situation you were in. There could be potential gain by losing it, yet you were holding on to it like a lifeline. Considering that, in one month, you had lost all kinds of things that made your life yours, it was understandable that crossing this line scared you. It was a small rebellion that would prove you weren't completely lost to this man's whims if only you could keep it.

"No! No, wait!" you huffed as his hold on you tightened, trying to keep you in place so he could continue evading every little piece of privacy you still had. If only for your sanity, you had to at least try to conserve it. You weren't keeping yourself for marriage necessarily, but having your first time with the man that kidnapped and imprisoned you would definitely do you no good.

"I'm... I'm unwell! I'll do something else for you, but not this. Let's not go there... Sir."

Halting all his movements, Sylus's brows furrowed, and he leaned back, looking up at you. Of course, you didn't miss how he tensed when you called him Sir, but even though it cost you a lot of your pride to call him that, it was the most you got for a reaction. You could only assume he could see the fake, nonchalant expression you forced, perhaps your embarrassment too. But you hoped it would deter him. When you looked back at him, he almost seemed... concerned. Hopefully, that would be in your favor.

"Are you sick?" he asked, both accusatory and worried at the same time. As if he was offended, you didn't tell him.

"No, I'm... Actually yeah! I feel sick! I got cramps, and I'm sure my period is just around the corner--"

"Darling," he interrupted you, and your heart rate quicked at the sly grin playing around his lips. "You're so adorable when you try to lie, but I'll have you know that a bit of blood has never stopped me.

Tell me the truth, or I'll assume you're just nervous."

Fuck, you thought to yourself, chewing your stinging lip again as you thought about what to do. Sylus returned back to your chest, pressing his lips to your unattended nipple again before sucking it in for a tease. You drew in your breath sharply as you thought about a lesser evil to deter him from taking your last strand of dignity, the one thing you could hold over his head. But it would cost you greatly to protect your virginity, and you almost wavered in your determination to keep it a secret.

"I'll... I'll suck you off."

Sylus stilled, and you saw his eyes widening. For a moment, no one said anything, and although it was hard to endure his inquiring gaze, you forced yourself to face it head-on, showing him you meant it. One of his eyes felt especially exposing, the red so much more vibrant. But just a moment later, his lips curled into a wide smirk, freeing your nipple as he drew back.

His expression was almost soft as he gazed over your body, all the way down to where your hips met. You saw the longing in his gaze and felt the throbbing of his cock against your pussy, but then he looked up at you again, and for a moment, you felt adoration wash over you. Approval, genuine desire.

And it was gone right the next second.

Before you knew it, Sylus lifted you off his lap. You yelped in surprise, only to sink to your knees, his legs spread widely to comfortably accommodate you between them. "Alright then," Sylus chuckled. "Show me what you got."

Another wave of shameful heat rushed into your head as you watched the cocky bastard wait for you to stick to your words. Excitement and impatience radiated from the way he looked down at you to the tapping of his food next to your thigh. He'd not wait forever for you to act, but he was enjoying your hesitation.

Swallowing hard, your mouth had never felt as dry as it was now. With jittery hands, you reached upwards, seeing the stains you had left on his trousers and feeling the heat underneath your palms. But before you could unzip Sylus's pants, he caught your wrists in his grip, clicking his tongue at you, chastizing.

"I'm sure you know a more creative way to start this."

You were disgusted by the thought, but even a virgin like you could imagine what he wanted. Lifting your butt off the floor, you placed your teeth around the zipper, slowly dragging it down. Sylus chuckled, but to your surprise, when you looked up at him angrily, he let go of your wrists and looked away, hiding his full face from you. Was he ashamed? Mocking you? Or did he enjoy seeing you opening his trousers with your teeth that much?

You used the moment of freedom for your hands to unbutton the pants on top, completely taken aback when without the restraints of underwear, his cock sprung free, surprise and horror overcoming you. "You're not the only one who was anticipating this," Sylus clarified, and although he still hid his face behind his hand, the gleam in his eye was as mischievous as ever.

Bastard, you thought, but a small part of you wondered if he had been walking around in just his pants all day or if he changed out of his underwear before meeting with you. It was a completely scientific question of course! You needed to know how long he anticipated and planned this. If his sudden carnal desire had been a surprise or a long time coming, although you never thought it existed.

"Are you giving up already, Sweetheart?" Sylus tore you out of your thoughts. "Less scowling, more sucking."

For the record, you didn't do as he instructed because he told you to. You did it because you wanted to get it over with. You kept telling yourself this, over and over, even as you brushed your fingertips over his length. But there was one problem. One you couldn't tell him about.

You had no idea what to do.

Of course, the general concept of a blowjob was familiar to even you, but how were you going to pull it off? Was it enough to take it into your mouth? Did you need to kiss it? Would it taste bad? Could you even put your lips around it?

There was no time to panic and let Sylus find out you were an inexperienced virgin with no idea what you were doing. His cock bopped impatiently in front of you, waiting for your caress, and you had to please it regardless of not knowing how.

Reaching up, you wrapped a hand around it, steadying it with your grip. The stiff feeling surrounded by soft skin was almost mesmerizing, leaving you in a moment of awe before you returned to reality. You expected something rougher, more like its owner, but the heat and eagerness spoke of vulnerability more than Sylus's usual domineering ways.

There was a click of his tongue from above, and you knew your time was running out. Giving him a coy glance from below, you leaned forward, steading yourself on Sylus's thighs to kiss the throbbing cock in your hand. You felt his leg tense beneath your palm, then relax, and when he neither mocked nor pushed you away, you concluded you were onto something.

Kissing a trail up the shaft, you smoothed over his cock, taking note of the ridges and veins that seemed to pop out the longer you were giving it attention. Soon, you reached the edge of the tip, the form of his shaft dipping into itself for a moment before forming the bulb on top. It was so fascinating that, for a moment, you forgot the situation you were in, your tongue dipping out to lick along the edge out of curiosity.

Sylus drew in a sharp breath, and you looked up with more inquisitiveness. For the first time, you saw an expression akin to pain on his face. You wondered if you were hurting him somehow before satisfaction hit you. Red was drawn along his cheeks, and you realized it was pleasure and not pain; the firmness of his expression was merely showcasing that he was holding back. How gracious.

Slipping the flat of your tongue over his tip, you soon brushed your lips over it. Cock jerking, the tender flesh jumped against your mouth, smearing a strange-tasting liquid all over it. Precum, you thought to yourself, recognizing that this meant you were doing something right.

It almost got you excited.

You remembered the way Sylus had played with your nipples, the teasing and sucking. The way he forced you to feel pleasure despite not wanting to, and it gave you an idea of how to return the favor. If it worked on you, it might just work on him the same way! Sure, he wanted this, but you'd not make it easy on him!

Wrapping your mouth around the tip, you began to suck gently, drawing your lips lightly back and forth and wetting the top to make it more smooth. Sylus groaned, his right hand coming down to cup yours on top of his thigh, pressing it into the muscles there.

"That's it, Kitten," he mumbled, and you felt his hand brush up your neck and into your hair. Immediately, you drew back, staring at him with your mouth forced shut. His cock bopped in complaint, and Sylus's expression hardened, but you challenged him with your glare.

"No forcing it," you established, getting great satisfaction from his annoyance. "You will let me do it."

"Fine," he spat out. "Hope you got a bit more than that, though. Otherwise, we'll be here forever, Sweetheart."

"Fuck you," you bit back, not waiting for him to respond before putting your lips back around his cock. This time, you went deeper, his tip brushing your teeth as you weren't used to his size yet. His hand sunk back to the nape of your neck, playing with a few strands of hair there. You could feel him testing out the boundaries of your rules, applying pressure softly ever so often. Still, after you drew back one more time, he gave up, the warmth of his palm remaining unmoving at the back of your head.

"No fun," he complained, but his words had no bite. They were followed by a soft groan, Sylus's head rolling to the side as he watched you work your way down his shaft. It was more strain than you expected, his cock seemingly never-ending, even when you forced it deeper than anything ever before. You'd not accept defeat, not let him win this round, especially after coming this far!

But it was nasty. Drool dripped down your chin, and your sucking became more and more sloppy. You barely had enough strength or training with your tongue to keep up an even pace, and your desperation to get this over with made everything quite boring, evident by Sylus not reacting like you thought he would while you worked your mouth over his cock.

"Is this your first time?" he finally asked, and you grimaced, mouth full of cock and exposed anger burning in your eyes.

Sylus smirked, and you knew that he knew.

"Did you really think you could hide the fact from me that you have no idea what you're doing? Come let me help."

Without waiting for your response, he pressed your head forward, tears shooting to your eyes as the newly reached deepness pried your jaw open. "Now, use your tongue and lick upwards all the way. Slowly."

You hated this! You hated him! You hated this man so much!

"That's it, Kitten."

Pulling you back by the roots of your hair, the strain disappeared, but all the drool and fluids pooled inside your mouth, making you cough. Sylus showed you no mercy, even after seeing you struggle to keep yourself together.

"Now the tip again, just like the beginning. You need to alternate sometimes."

Reluctantly, you opened your mouth again, willing the pain away as you began to suck and lick at his tip. The next time Sylus pushed you forward, you braced yourself, although he didn't go as deep, instead bopping your head back and forth. As much as you hated following his instructions, you did the same with your tongue as when he forced you to take it in completely, moving the muscle along the sides while Sylus directed your head.

This time, he let out a loud, content sigh, his head falling back. His pressure never stopped, though, sometimes slamming you forward to dangerous depths again, other times letting you rest at his tip. There was a steady increase in speed, and you felt the control slip from you pitifully as he worked you up and down his shaft as he pleased. Were you just a sex toy to him? That's what you wondered as the first tears fell, your reflection so pitiful in Sylus's eyes.

Although, he seemed ecstatic for some reason.

His nails dug into your hand still on his thigh as he pushed you steadily deeper with every thrust of his head. Soon, you felt the tickle of the fabric of his pants against your nose, his cock taking up all the space in your mouth as it throbbed. You, too, dug your nails into his thigh as you heard Sylus breathe heavily, knowing all too well what was going to happen now.

You couldn't believe he'd be so barbaric, knowing it was your first time, as to force you to take all of his dick inside as he came. But with a slight thrust of his hip and his hand pressing down at the same time, you were caught with his cock throat-deep as hot splurts of semen sprayed everywhere. Sylus grunted as he came, and you couldn't help but splutter, gagging on the length shoved down your throat, and almost fainted from the lack of air as he waited until the very last drop of his cum to be emptied inside of you.

If not for his cock stuffing your mouth, you might have thrown up from disgust.

He was breathing heavily while your lungs barely shuddered. As if he regained clarity, Sylus suddenly pulled you off him, and his cum spilled from your lips together with his cock. Tears, semen, and drool all dripped from your pitiful face, and you two stared at each other, both a little less lucid than before.

The hand at the back of your neck slipped forward, thumb grazing over the side of your mouth before he slipped it inside. A grin spread over his lips; this time, he looked nothing short of insane from the satisfaction as he pushed the fluids back into your mouth, seeing the remnants of the havoc he wrecked. But then his expression grew soft, and you hated to admit it, but this was probably the gentlest look he had ever given you.

"Good job, Darling."

You choked as you held back a sob. The situation was so maddening it was almost funny. Just seconds ago, it felt like he'd kill you with his dick, and now he was praising you, looking at you as if you were the greatest treasure in this world.

But you didn't have the time to lament. Not even a moment later, you were pulled from the ground, set down pussy to cock on his lap, feeling the sticky heat from his crotch matching your own. You hadn't even noticed your own arousal, the way your body found appropriate to act. It only shamed you more.

"You were so pretty down there, doing amazing, Darling."

Next thing you knew, he had toppled you over and laid you down on the couch beside him while your eyes widened. You snapped your legs shut immediately, although his hands roaming downwards snaked their way between them. Looking at you, unblinking, a victorious smile played along Sylus's lips before he effortlessly pried your legs apart, not even breaking a sweat.

"We said only sucking off!" you mewled, part scared, part frustrated. What else did you need to do to make him stop? Why was he doing all of this? Why did it have to be you?

Resting his lips on your thigh, Sylus kissed it briefly, eyes closed, appearing almost reverent as he peppered some more kisses.

"You said that," he finally muttered against your skin, and all the hope to make him see reason in the end was lost with just a few words. "I am going to return the favor now. Can't let anyone think I'd not take good care of my Darling."

"You are so mean," you whispered, tears now falling freely. You didn't care anymore if he saw them. If they could soften his heart—good! If not, it didn't matter anymore. He was going to do what he wanted anyway; there was nothing you could do but to let him.

"Sure, I can be mean," Sylus chuckled, but his expression darkened. It was unlike his usual cockiness, and it infuriated you. How dare he feel upset about your comment! How dare he wallow in your misery! Your pain wasn't his to share! He didn't get to feel bad from seeing you hurt by the actions he inflicted!

So why did he look like you were the one hurting him?

"After all..." he mumbled, leaning forward until his face hovered over yours. For a moment, he simply stared at you, and you wondered what he could find in your terrified gaze. How far he could really look into your soul and if that would deter him or if he'd still choose to ignore your feelings in all of this like he had ever since he locked you up.

"You made me the bad guy, Darling."

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stunies · 2 months ago

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ᘏ AUTHOR’S NOTE — hihi welcome to my 2024 kinktober! this a repost since i moved blogs, but a couple prompts have been added.

TO BE TAGGED, please leave a comment & mention which ones you’d like to be tagged in. or! you can fill out this form. either one is fine! however, you must be 18+ and have your age visible anywhere on your blog in order to interact. make sure to take a quick peek at the warnings too! happy (early) october ^^

ᘏ FANDOMS & INFO — wind breaker, my hero academia, honkai star rail, haikyuu, and blue lock too. there are fifteen drabbles and two lengthy fics included = seventeen posts for october! (｀∇ ´) ψ

OCTOBER 1 - OVERSTIMULATION

KAJI REN X F!READER ﾉ 1112 words ﾉ the game? three bottles of flavored lube. kaji’s turn to guess. and you? you just have to lay there and let him get a proper taste first.

ᘏ ft. cunninglingus, blindfolded (kaji), fingering, overstimulation

OCTOBER 3 - CUCKOLDING

HAYATO SUO X AFAB!READER ﾉ 1096 words ﾉ FICS4GAZA ﾉ sakura doesn’t think he’s ever held his phone in his non-dominant hand… until tonight.

ᘏ ft. consensual recording, cuckolding (sakura), + masturbation, overstimulation, very light choking, creampie, mention of toys

OCTOBER 5 - MASK KINK

ENDO YAMATO X F!READER ﾉ 1189 words ﾉ endo thought you were joking about masks being hot, but … if you really like them so much, then maybe he’ll put on a show just for you.

ᘏ ft. mask kink, very consensual fear play, both degradation & praise

OCTOBER 7 - SUCCUBUS?!

SAKURA HARUKA X SUCCUBUS!F!READER ﾉ 1126 words ﾉ there’s no better way to lose your virginity than to a succubus, right? do those even exist? he was skeptical before he met you.

ᘏ ft. virginity loss (both), aphrodisiac, creampie

OCTOBER 9 - PREDATOR/PREY

GALLAGHER (HSR) X F!READER ﾉ 1667 words ﾉ delivering this basket to your grandmother sounds easy enough, but they didn’t warn you about whatever seems to be lurking at the end ﾉ in other words.. you act out the fairytale: little red riding hood

ᘏ ft. consensual noncon (cnc), predator / prey dynamics, muffling (his glove), oral (receiving) overstimulation, fingering + squirting

OCTOBER 11 - PET PLAY

KIRYU MITSUKI X F!READER ﾉ 902 words ﾉ you think he just likes seeing you embarrassed at this point. tonight, it’s worse than ever before, and he’s loving every single second of it.

ᘏ ft. pet play, toys (anal plug), praise, pet names, double stuffed

OCTOBER 13 - DRY HUMPING

NESS (BLLK) X F!READER! ﾉ 923 words ﾉ it’s not allowed. he knows this. but he can’t help that it gets a little harder not to claim you as his whenever you come back for more.

ᘏ ft. dry humping to wall sex, dirty talk, marking, possessiveness, forbidden relationship, mentions of fingering, face sitting, creampies

OCTOBER 15 - IN UNIFORM

KUROO TETSUROU (HQ) X F!READER ﾉ 1190 words ﾉ there’s about five minutes left on the clock before your coworker comes back.

ᘏ ft. maid cafe, exhibitionism, time crunch for kuroo, squirting

OCTOBER 17 - APHRODISIACS

DAN HENG (HSR) X F!READER ﾉ 1469 words ﾉ it’s only natural that you’d try to play it off, especially when he had already warned you about this ahead of time. your bad, you’ll admit. unfortunately for you though, this aphrodisiac is one of the strongest, and it won’t be going away anytime soon.

ᘏ ft. aphrodisiacs, mutual pining, wall sex, squirting from putting it in

OCTOBER 19 - GHOSTS!

GHOST! HAYATO SUO X F!READER ﾉ 742 words ﾉ SFW ﾉ you seem to be the only one who doesn’t mind the ghost that trails behind you. your friends want to hire someone to get rid of him, but you seem to be weirdly defensive over something that’s supposed to be haunting you.

ᘏ ft. protective suo (this time in a cute way), ghosts, etc

OCTOBER 21 - SCARY MOVIE

ENDO YAMATO X F!READER ﾉ 841 words ﾉ SFW ﾉ you’ve had some bad ideas, but this one has to be your worst. halloween night, sitting side by side with the man who has it in his dna to tease you, rank #1 for scariest movies in existence playing on the big TV, and your friends. the friends you’ve somehow managed to convince (through a dragged out lie) that there’s absolutely nothing in the world that can scare you.

ᘏ ft. horror movies, reader is a bit scared, + endo comfort !!

OCTOBER 23 - YANDERE

YANDERE!UMEMIYA HAJIME X F!READER ﾉ 838 words ﾉ no one would dare hurt umemiya’s girl. they shouldn’t. they wouldn’t dare. but after some time.. he thinks he should give them another reminder. it wouldn’t hurt.

ᘏ ft. yandere, creampies, overstimulation, praise, size kink, marking, soft possessiveness, reader wears a skirt, catcalling (not from ume)

OCTOBER 25 - CAMGIRL

HAYATO SUO X F!READER ﾉ 3520 words ﾉ you always do what the highest tipper says, but looks like that’s backfired! “bring someone to fuck you raw on your next stream” but oh. you don’t have a boyfriend, do you? so the second best option would be to swallow your pride and ask one of your friends.

ᘏ ft. streaming (audience), camgirl! reader, dry humping, creampie, overstimulation, squirting, virginity loss (reader), teasing, tba

OCTOBER 27 - TOYS

TAKIISHI CHIKA X F!READER! 937 words ﾉ a fun dinner with your friends? unfortunately, the group is one chair short, so it’s a given that the couple shares. takiishi wonders which will give it away first: the buzzing between your legs, or the faces you’re making? you seem to be doing an alright job (much to his dismay) but one push should do it.

ᘏ ft. exhibitionism (hinted that endo knows), mentions of fingering & potential threesome, toy usage, reader wears a skirt, risk

OCTOBER 29 - DEALS

DABI (MHA) X HERO!F!READER ﾉ 890 words ﾉ what happens when your curiosity takes you to the league of villains’ hideout? luckily enough, there’s only one of them there to greet you— and the world seems kind enough to let you off with a deal. fuck him once to guarantee his silence, or so you thought.

ᘏ ft. tw dubcon, forced orgasms, fear play, mentions of murder, etc

OCTOBER 30 - MACHINES

MR. RECA (HSR) X F!READER! ?? words ﾉ your voice is a bit too quiet for films. he says to consider this a vocal warm-up— just some personalized training he’s given you to combat your shyness on set, but you think otherwise.

ᘏ ft. fucking machine (…), recording, squirting, blindfolds, tba

OCTOBER 31 - ROOMMATES

HOUSEKEEPING! — TOGAME JO X F!READER! ﾉ 7387 words ﾉ you don’t realize how loud you are, do you? or are the walls just paper thin? his patience seems to also be running thin, but he’s always thought of himself as someone who tries to be a pretty decent guy most of the time. a decent enough guy that doesn’t fantasize about fucking choji’s childhood friend raw, at the very least.

ᘏ ft. masturbation (kind of caught), size difference, thigh fucking, creampie, semi-possessive togame glimpse at the end, tba

UPDATE (NOV 12): ktober on hold for my current event! this kinktober will be completed. 100%. i have the drafts- just needs editing. thank you for your patience <3

#KINKTOBER 2024 #wind breaker smut #haikyuu smut #blue lock smut #my hero academia smut #dabi smut #kuroo smut #wind breaker x reader #suo x reader #togame x reader #hsr smut #togame smut #wind breaker #hsr x reader

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ninathekillerzblog · 5 months ago

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MONOSHIN FIC RECS

A compiled fic rec list of the more longer monoshin fics. All fics can be found on ao3. You should be able to click the title of the fic and be directed there!

this is for @fraisaa and the very few other monoshin enjoyers in this fandom 🙂‍↕️🙏 pls write more fics.

My Cat's Name is Jalapeño! by Perkykitties - 100k wordcount & complete - SINGLE HANDEDLY THE BEST MONOSHIN FIC I'VE EVER READ. cough sorry, bias is showing, post cannon fic after they graduated U.A.

Golden Days by hanwritesstuff (hannahkannao) - 208k wordcount & complete - five years after graduation, two heroes are brought together by coincidence, work together by necessity, and stay together by choice, trust, and maybe just a little bit of love.

Welcome To The Better Class by orphan_account - 200k wordcount & incomplete, post-cannon monoshin fic that broke my heart and put it back together again and idek anymore.

I want to kiss (your dumb fucking face) by gingerbreadshinsou - 126k wordcount & incomplete - it irks my soul that this is incomplete, it really really does save yourself and dont read it because you will be hooked and you will cry. Monoma develops a big gay crush on Shinso and his life descends into absolute chaos.

once more, with feelings by orphan_account - 50k wordcount & incomplete, in which Shinso Hitoshi transfers into Class B.

Resilience by Lilac_Demetrius - 43k wordcount & ongoing! Neito Monoma just wanted to enjoy his summer. Falling in love with his roommate's obnoxious boyfriend was never his intention. (omegaverse fic, dont say i didnt warn you.)

Now you know by albanyN - 42k wordcount & complete, in which hitoshi shinsou and monoma neito have more in common than they think.

Get Ready to have a Bad Time by despurrito - 41k word count & complete, honestly i was very very very hesitant on reading this fic because its an alpha/beta/omega dynamics fic. not to yuck anyones yum though! i cannot deny its still a good fic and if thats your thing, read it!

Sore Loser by SmolPidge - 33k wordcount & complete, After Hitoshi's transfer to the hero course is formally approved, he finds himself at the mercy of one Neito Monoma, who will stop at nothing to get him to choose Class B. Unfortunately for Hitoshi, it's working.

Like Turning Against Traffic in a Crowded Intersection by yanderegiran - 31k wordcount & incomplete, In which Shinso's in a relationship and everyone knows but him.

Smoke Rises, Water Falls by KiroAngel - 31k wordcount & incomplete/abandoned, postcannon soulmate au fic where shinsou finds himself growing more attached to monoma than he ever thought he would, but in a world where soulmates mean everything, what is that really worth?

Pink Summer by chromochaotic - 27k wordcount & complete, tooth rotting fluff and honestly the summer camp counselor monoshin fic no one asked for but we all deserve. 💓

Empathy by AuspiciousWhiskers - 26k wordcount & complete, in which Monoma Neito puts the pieces back together, and for once, they aren't just the pieces of himself.

Of Kitties And Parrots by gingerbreadshinsou - 22k wordcount & complete, monoma meets shinsou on a dating website and it's all downhill from there

That's Not a Kitten! by Perkykitties - 20k wordcount & incomplete - sequel to my cats name is jalapeño! i recommend you read the first fic before this one though. takes place when monoma and shinso are married!

fics under 20k words

What Could Have Been by Madame_Hatter - 17k wordcount & complete, three years is enough to change a man, as well as his feelings for his best friend.

Monoma Neito's Foolproof Plan to Get an Awesome Boyfriend and Rule UA by truejoyofsorrow - 15k wordcount & complete, Monoma decides that he should ask out Shinsou, shenanigans ensue.

Becoming a Cat Person by yanderegiran - 14k wordcount & incomplete, aka the pokemon trainer monoshin fic we all needed in our lives.

i learnt to love for the first time when our fingers intertwined by blinding_metaphysics - 12k wordcount & complete, Monoma and Shinsou were invited to a class A and class B camping trip. What was going to be a nice relaxing day turned into a horrible event.

hope you enjoyed this list! i might make a list of the shorter fics but honestly, theres a lot of those and not a lot of longer fics. we need more monoshin content pls can a very cool long fic writer see this and make my wishes come true?

#monoshin #monoma neito x shinsou hitoshi #monoma x shinsou #bnha #my hero academia #monoma neito #shinsou hitoshi #fanfic #fanfic recommendation #fanfic readers #my hero acadamy #monoshin supremacy

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lady-raziel · 7 months ago

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long reaction to the update

ok. so they put out an update video! since i've been commentating for the last three days i might as well subject you all to more of my thoughts today.

main takeaway: this was a good apology video. i mean it. short and to the point, no overproduction, heartfelt and honest (and not a ukelele to be seen. thank god.) they took ownership of the situation, apologized, and restated how much they value their relationship with the fandom.

their solution is to make the watcher tv platform into kind of an iteration of patreon where content is available for early access before it is released onto youtube later. this is clearly a better option than paywalling everything for everyone. i'm not sure what the relative breakdown of costs turns out to be when you compare how much they were making on patreon after the platform took their cut VS how much it costs in overhead to run and maintain their own platform (how much it costs annually to contract via Vimeo, essentially). but i'm sure that's part of the calculation.

all things considered, that does seem like the best option out of all the alternatives. it allows them to not completely abandon any of the pans they have simmering over the fire for the time being. i don't think i ever thought they were going to just say "oops, forget about the streaming thing! let's pretend that never happened!" because at this point they've invested quite a lot of time and money into it, and i don't disagree that keeping it in some iteration may help them make up some of the funds they're lacking.

i would say, it's fine to keep the streamer. this is one of the ok outcomes, all things considered-- but if they're going to do it, they've GOT to do it smart from this point forward. listen to both the fans and the consultants intimately. both are going to have valid points, and both are going to be right. listening to too much of either side will sink this thing because each has motives and expertise that the other doesn't. if the fans say $6 is too much, listen to them-- but have conversations with business consultants about how much you realistically need to charge to make things work.

also, i'd use this whole situation as a learning experience. watcher is a young company, and it's literally inevitable that mistakes will happen. what's different is that the watcher crew haven't really been in a position before where they've been on the receiving end of the internet-angry-justice-hammer to this extent. it's one thing to watch it happen to others, but it's a position of extreme privilege (and a bit of hubris) to think "but that won't happen to me, because i'm built different." naw, man-- two things in life are inevitable: death and fuckups. the callout posts get us all in the end.

what's really important is that they use this as a wakeup call that even the most loyal fandoms will only follow you so far to the cliff's edge, and you don't want to push that. you have to strike a balance between the passion projects that you think are worthy and the stuff that maybe doesn't excite you as much anymore but the people want to see. a little fanservice keeps the lights on, as unfair as that might seem. i'm gonna make 50 markiplier choccy milk memes just so i can make one niche political joke once and a while for 6 likes. it is what it is.

i'd also use this as a chance to take a very careful look at company structure and finances. it's not fun to do and nobody likes it. trust me-- this is hard whether you're a single adult trying to pay the bills or the freaking US government (speaking from experience on both-- i have to read the president's budget for work frequently). but you all have to ask hard questions about the ratio of creative staff you take on VS staff for administrative and other business roles, as well as the costs and benefits of everything you spend money on. how many staff members are essential to location shoots? can this video be shot with 2 cameras instead of 3 and thus you don't need another cameraperson? you might even have to come to the decision that instead of pitching a new show it makes more sense to use those funds to hire your essential non-creative roles or contract firms or freelancers.

paying staff a fair wage with benefits speaks highly of what watcher wants their values to be. it's hard to find such a position in a creative role and still actually get to work on things you care about. but it would be much worse if watcher didn't make realistic decisions about finances and it lead to the death of the company and everyone losing their jobs. the whole watcher company can work, in my opinion, but not without some sacrifices. they're going to have to run it more like a business and less like a youtube-channel-turned-business in the future if they want to survive.

last thing i'll add is that while i do think this was a good apology video, i still think they hurt themselves by not putting out some sort of statement on Friday or Saturday just to say that they were formulating a response. As i've said in other posts, it's ok and in fact beneficial to not make a kneejerk reaction, but it's also very important to communicate that you SEE what's happening. you SEE what people are saying and THAT'S why you need more time to respond. saying nothing and leaving the angry public to wonder if you dropped your phone off the Hoover Dam or just don't care? that's a fumble. it's a common mistake companies make in a crisis, but that doesn't mean it doesn't erode trust fast.

this could have been handled better in many ways. we see that, and i'm glad watcher says they see that too. crucial going forward is taking all this and patching the errors that caused all this to fall apart and learning from the experience.

tbh at this point what i'm most sad about is that the watcher crew have probably been too stressed out and upset to appreciate some of the absolute bangers people have been laying down to clown on them. i think if it wasn't about them they might be touched by the collective attitude and creative spirit. /j

#watcher #watcher tv #after this post i have got to actually not spend time writing long reactions about this anymore because i too #have fires caused by my own fuckups to put out #alas

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anintriguedintrovert · 3 months ago

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It's just lazy writing honestly. Saying that you want to develop a "mature relationship" between two characters and killing off the female character to fuel man pain is such a tired and dirty trope.

And from his own words in that article - caryl falling in love is "obvious" and "easy" and such a "TV book of tricks" (again - all of these words could have different interpretations.)

Like, my dude, "friends to lovers" is an old but gold timeless trope for a reason. UNLIKE, introducing a female character and killing her to serve the male character's man pain (if that is the route they are in fact taking - I would rather her live or have her death serve some larger/meaningful purpose - bcoz yes...i can't imagine Daryl and Isabelle together - they have known each other for two months and most it has been her lying to him/manipulating him - my man deserves better BUT I also want female characters to be treated fairly) Forcing a relationship between her and Daryl so that the audience would feel more for her when she dies - and completely reducing her death to prop up Daryl is NOT the way to go. Give her a meaningful arc and real/clear/grounded motives and emotional depth.

Also - can we like backtrack here for a minute - saying that making Caryl romantic would be too easy - is like the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a while. Besides the fact that they are both incredibly complex and layered characters of their own right (the best to come out of TWDU imho) - their shared journey is such a gold mine in terms of potential - there is angst, real emotional stakes and conflicts, so much freaking build up that was already established (I mean the entire s10 arc was basically the angst-iest fanfiction to ever fanfiction) - and underneath it all - a bond/understanding/love that is so revered by so many (even the non-carylers). AND - the chemistry between the actors is the perfect cherry on top of this fantabulous sundae. I mean, u can create a whole rom com and a half out of it.

The easy route is pairing Daryl up with a character like Isabelle. Because it doesn't take much creativity or much thinking honestly.

In short, if you are going to go with a TV trope - plz don't put your bets on something as tired and tedious as reducing a female characters death so that the man can cry a few tears. Go with the tried and tested and timeless dynamic so many ppl root for (I mean - I only recently joined twitter to get updates on the Book of Carol - and twdcaryl has been trending for like three days straight now - and that Entire hype is created by carylers- they are out there dissecting every teeny tiny bts pic that we get from s3 - and creating fan art and just non stopping talking about it.)

I only finished twd a few months backs and since then, have been obsessed with this dynamic. I can't say I have hopes for canon. And I have never once interacted with this fandom beyond liking posts and devouring caryl fanfiction from so many talented writers here. But this article just seems like the dumbest decision ever (like why dig your own grave)

Me about Caryl...

#caryl

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the-conversation-pod · 1 year ago

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In Your Lavender: The Wedding Plan Episode

AND WE'RE BACK!

We originally planned to discuss Wedding Plan alongside a few other shows but abandoned that quickly when we realized we both had a lot to say about this show. Come join us as we discuss whether MAME has shown growth, what it means that the lavender marriage term has existed for over 130 years, the importance of lesbians in this story, and the fundamental nature of the closet.

If you've been missing how heated Ben gets, now's your chance!

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

01:16 - Intro 03:00 - Wedding Plan and MAME's Previous Crimes 15:18 - Realities of the Closet and Fandom Misunderstanding of the Show 29:23 - Things We Love About Wedding Plan and Final Ratings 37:26 - And Another Thing! The Wedding Plan Special

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam as transcriber, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes. When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

01:16 - Intro

NiNi

Welcome, welcome. [sighs] Go ahead.

Ben

Oh no, it's fine, you said welcome, I'm not going to do it this time. They won't get it for the Wedding Plan episode.

NiNi

[laughs] All right. Welcome, welcome to the—

Ben

I'm just kidding! And we're back!

[both laugh]

NiNi

Welcome! to the episode that was supposed to be a secret admirers episode, but instead is now the Wedding Plan episode, because everything else was a bit crap. We wanted to talk about this because we could not believe that this came fully formed from the head of MAME, of all the creatives. We were shocked, I think, but…the fandom was also kind of shocked, and we'll delve a little bit into how that played out when we get into the segment but, when I looked at the trailer I was like, ‘mm, okay, this could be cute.’ Did not expect to be…devastated, emotionally [laughs] at certain points.

Ben

I don't really think I watched the trailer properly. I went in a little bit hostile, because MAME’s got a whole thing for boundary crossing. And I was worried going in that this show was just going to be about some rich guy punking around his wedding planner, and then like, cheating on his wife. And that's not the show we got at all.

NiNi

Let’s dive into it so you can hear what we had to say!

03:00 - Wedding Plan and MAME’s previous crimes

NiNi

We are talking all things Wedding Plan. Now Ben, you and I had agreed sometime back that no matter what happened we were never going to talk about a MAME show on the podcast. And here we are [laughs] talking about a MAME show! And there's a really good reason for that.

Let's start by talking about what Wedding Plan is about. Ben, do the honors.

Ben

Wedding Plan is a story about a wedding planner named Namnuea, who is the ace at his event planning company, and a fan of McDonald's, who very much sponsored this show. He is tasked with planning the wedding for a very attractive man and his soon-to-be wife. Complications ensue immediately, because their wedding is coming up in three months and these two have no idea what they want to do for their wedding, and only the groom is the one making the choices.

We can tell very quickly that the groom, Sailom, is flirting with Namnuea; Namnuea is not stupid and picks up on this. The attraction between them is very mutual, but the complications around him being a client and a groom frustrate Namnuea. The reveals that eventually come out make this show to be way more than just a closet case trying to hit on his wedding planner.

NiNi

Reveal the reveals, because I feel like it's impossible to talk about this show in any meaningful way without knowing what the twist is.

Ben

Right! So Sailom and Yiwa, his bride, are in a lavender wedding. So for well over one hundred and forty years, we've had a term to describe queer people choosing to present themselves as heterosexually entwined for mutual benefit and safety. In this case, Sailom and Yiwa hail from fairly wealthy families that are extremely restrictive. The two of them recognized their own queerness at a very young age, and understood that they needed to hide that information. While on a trip in Europe the two of them recognized the queerness in each other when they both had a strong emotional reaction to seeing two women publicly kiss. And then became each other's best fucking friends for life, and decided to protect each other. Yiwa ends up developing a very meaningful romance with a woman named Marine, and she convinces Sailom to marry her so that they can both get out from under their families. They have a long-term plan to divorce.

So when Sailom is flirting with Namnuea, Yiwa is 100% aware of it, and extremely supportive of it, because she doesn't want her friend, who she treats like a brother, to be lonely all the time.

NiNi

That basically sums it up in terms of the mechanics of the plot. But guys, the reason that we're here talking about a MAME show, is, this hit me right in the fucking throat, man. It was so real, in a way that I've never gotten from a MAME show. It felt like MAME almost apologizing to BL for some of the shit that she's done? It felt like MAME trying to gain some understanding and learn some shit, and show that she had learned some shit?

Ben

Just so that we get a bunch of stuff out on the table for listeners: what are some things that MAME has done that you think she should apologize for? [laughs]

NiNi

Ah, [laughs] where do I even begin? MAME work tends to lean very heavily into…traumatizing already traumatized people? I have mixed feelings about a lot of MAME’s work. There are sometimes I'm just like, oh fuck you. And then there's sometimes where they're like, I see where you're trying to go with this but you didn't have the skill. And then there are times I'm just like, ma’am, get the hell out. Something like this that I don't have any mixed feelings about, I just feel strongly positive about it…it's never happened to me before with her work, not ever. And it made me recalibrate in my head—a little bit, because it's still only one show—maybe where I should place MAME as a creative.

Ben

I have a list.

[both laugh]

NiNi

Go on ahead! Read!

Ben

Let's start with Love By Chance. There are four goddamn couples in Love By Chance. Only one couple is remotely stable! We really only talk about Ae and Pete, because we do not need to talk about the other three. MAME loves to question the line between crossing boundaries and romance. There’s Tin and Can, who were the focus of Love By Chance 2—

NiNi

Which I did not watch.

Ben

Then there's Kengkla and Techno, and Kengkla is paying Techno's brother for information on him to eventually date rape him—I mean, that happened in Love By Chance! Then there's Tum and Tar, who are brothers, and Tar was a victim of horrendous acts by a character from TharnType. Moving on to TharnType, a show that I will not watch, for multiple reasons, some of them fandom related that we are not going to get into in this podcast. But the idea that Tharn is going to teach Type that he's actually into men without his consent? Yikes. I don't care how it ends up resolving. The wall is real fucking high for me on that one.

Ben

Didn't they have a spinoff with the other guys from Don't Say No? I'm not talking about that. Then we get to Love in the Air, which I mostly enjoyed, but why do both of the ukes in that show have to get kidnapped in their final episodes? [laughs] Why? It's so unnecessary! Rain and Sky were straight up kidnapped as the final complication of their show. It's insane.

NiNi

I did not watch Love in the Air. So every time you say that I'm just like, ‘that's a thing that actually happened?’

Ben

So this is the difference with Wedding Plan. Wedding Plan is so straightforward. There is no major complication to Wedding Plan. Everything that happens in this show flows naturally from the base conceit that two people involved in a lavender wedding are dealing with some difficulties and frustrations as that approaches, and then make logical choices for their characters, in response to everything that's going on.

And it kind of surprised me how much I ended up really loving this show. It's interesting for me that Yiwa and Marine’s relationship is the reason why the wedding is occurring. I've never really cared about heterosexual weddings in a lot of these shows and stories that I watch, but I feel so much about the way Lom and Yiwa care about each other and protect each other. Lom is agreeing to this sham wedding that's going to eventually lead to a bunch of complications in his life, because he's trying to protect his friend.

Normally in a story like this, there'd be all this tension about the groom struggling with his sexual identity, and what he wants for himself, and the girl's going to get hurt along the way—‘he feels loyal to the girl, we can't just do her like that!’ In this show, Lom is withholding information about the specifics about his relationship with Yiwa from Namnuea because he's protecting her. The crux of the romantic drama of this show was about a gay man in the closet protecting a gay woman in the closet.

NiNi

Yiwa and Marine's relationship is the key to the whole story, but the relationship between Yiwa and Sailom is the core relationship. The fact that they're doing this for each other, the fact that they care about each other so deeply, the fact that they basically decided long ago that they were the people who mattered to each other…and then as people come into their lives who are maybe somebody they might be interested in building a life with, it becomes a decision for everybody as to whether this person gets let in. I would have loved to see how it went when Yiwa decided that she wanted to be with Marine. I understand that's not the point of this particular story, but I would have been fascinated to see how that played out.

By the time we join the story Marine’s on the inside. She's 100% bought in. Marine has made the decision to be in the closet with Yiwa, which is sad in one way, but it's so freeing for them in another, because of what Sailom has done for them. They can be happy. And they are happy! They're happy and they're in love, and they're part of this family of the two of them and Sailom. It made me smile just watching them be with each other as a family unit. And then Lom meeting Nuea. When you're going to bring somebody into a secret like that, you have to be 100% sure. And not just you, everybody has to be on board with it. [laughs] It's not polyamorous, but it's—polyamoresque [laughs] I guess is the best way to describe it. Everybody has to be on board with what's happening. It's not just a question of ‘do I like this person?’ It's a question of ‘is this person a safe person?’ It's a question of ‘do the other people involved in this like this person?’ It's a question of ‘is this a person who I can share this secret with?’ but it's also, as it comes down to later in the story, a question of Lom knowing that he couldn't ask. He couldn't ask Nuea to be a part of the secret. He could just tell Nuea what was happening, and he could just hope and pray—and I don't even think that he dared to hope. And I think that's what the crying was about when Nuea decided that he was going to become part of the family? Lom broke down when Nuea said to him, ‘I'm going to help you keep your secret.’ Because he knew he couldn't ask it of him. And the fact that he freely offered it just brought Lom to tears.

15:18 - Realities of the closet and fandom misunderstanding the show

NiNi

This show is amazing. The show is emotionally sound, the show is beautiful, and I got so mad [laughs] watching this show get misunderstood. And if I was mad, Ben was incandescent. [laughs]

Ben, you take the floor and tell ‘em why you mad, son.

Ben

I'm going to talk about the closet for a little bit. It felt like a lot of the people who are reacting to this show have not been in the closet. I was in the closet for 11 years. Your brain does not work in the same way on the inside, and I'm going to say frankly to anybody who thought Lom should have told Namnuea a lot sooner than he did? When you've been in the closet for 13 years, you do not tell someone you have a crush on, in two months of knowing them. Not when the stakes are as high as they are. The reason they're in the closet is because there will be severe and painful consequences for failing to maintain a heteronormative status quo.

The big thing that separates Lom from Namnuea is, Namnuea is out. The truth about who Namnuea is cannot harm him. Namnuea develops feelings for Lom, and tells his boss. And she says, ‘there's nothing wrong with you having a crush on the guy, like he's hot. You know what the professional boundaries are though, do you need me to step in and take care of this for you?’ and Namnuea said no. When Namnuea fell for Lom, before they hooked up, he called his mom and said, ‘mom I think I fucked up.’ And she's like, ‘sometimes we fuck up baby boy, come home if you need me.’ And after he hooked up with Lom that's what he did! He went home, and he told his mom flat out: ‘the thing I told you about? Yeah I think I went too far.’ And she held him, and let him be a mess about it, because she understood that he already knew that he put himself in a really untenable situation, and she didn't pile on. They protected him. Namnuea can be honest about who he is, and whenever he tells the people who matter to him about something that happened, they close ranks around him and protect him. At the point at which Lom is trying to chase after Namnuea, every woman in his life pulled out their claws and was ready to slit that man's throat. They were all ready to throw hands with this man!

But when you're in the closet, your brain doesn't work right. You are under constant surveillance to maintain the heteronormative veneer over your life. The show does not make this hypothetical. Their friends and family are snapping pictures of them in public, and questioning every relationship they have with someone other than Lom and Yiwa. Lom is sitting at the table with Marine—Yiwa stepped away for a work call, and someone’s snapping a photo like, ‘why is Lom on a date with this other girl? She's trying to steal Lom from your daughter.’ Or ‘I saw Yiwa hanging out with her best friend, are they gay? I took some pictures and now I'm telling your mom.’ When you look at the reason why these two are so vigilant about being in the closet, that's literally what they're experiencing! It's super heavy-handed in this show, but it is exactly the kind of shit that I lived through. Being in the closet because you know that there are consequences and there are dangers breeds hypervigilance.

And I'm going to say it really plainly: all of the really negative takes I saw about Lom that were really unsympathetic to what this man went through? Made me, as a 30-something year old gay man who survived being closeted, really extremely uncomfortable. And I really need you to reckon with whatever you were going through that made you turn on a closeted gay man, and view him as the evil aggressor party in this particular relationship. Because goddamn!

The reason why he chose Namnuea to be his wedding planner was because he had a crush on him! And when you're in the closet you need plausible deniability. Lom is toeing the line. He can hang out with Namnuea and flirt with him, because he's talking to his wedding planner. Nobody's going to question him being around a gay man, because he's his wedding planner! And that's what the homos do, is they plan events for the rest of us! Because they're very good at it. The reason why he's being an irritating client is because he wants Namnuea to talk to him more. If he's a good client, Namnuea’s not gonna talk to him! Because Namnuea’s professional, and busy.

And Lom admits it. He says in episode…6 I believe, because I just rewatched again, that hiring Namnuea was just, in his mind, a little bit of fun before he got married. He would flirt with the guy that he had a crush on, even if it's a little fucked up to do that, and have a little fun before his wedding. He was not expecting to fall in love with Namnuea. But he's got a competency kink! And Namnuea is so good at his job. And he likes his job! He likes seeing people happy at the things that he planned for them, and he takes care of people. Lom loves these things in Namnuea. This even played out in their sex. He was happy that Namnuea was not a virgin. Very tasteful, sir.

NiNi

It being MAME, I will confess, that up until maybe somewhere around the beginning to middle of episode 4? I wasn't sure where they were going with this.

Ben

Let me tell you, I was waiting for her to do some convoluted bullshit as of episode 7. [laughs] They're like, ‘the bride’s run off!’ and I'm like, there's really only one way this should play out. Closeted people make plans. Yiwa is also not stupid. There’s this moment in episode 6—and this is again intentional, the editing on this show is actually really crisp. We get the really poignant scene on the bridge, where Lom talks about the knowing, and Namnuea’s like, ‘we need to fuck right now.’ And then, if you have access to iQiYi, they did! And then we get the scene where Namnuea agrees to be in the relationship, and all that that means.

The very next scene is Yiwa’s mom showing up at Marine's apartment to accost her and slap her. Which is immediately followed by Yiwa running back to the condo, and the way she enters that apartment? She genuinely thought that Marine might have left her. For as happy as they seem, Yiwa never underestimates or undervalues the stress that she's putting Marine under. When she enters the room and Marine hasn't run away, but is just laying in bed, clearly spent from all of this? That's the moment that breaks Yiwa. And then we flash forward three weeks to the wedding, and she's run off with Marine and leaves a note.

Lom knows her! He was not phased by this at all, when—after he's done putting on his jilted groom act, he's laughing. He's like, ‘I know what that cheeky girl did, I can't believe she did this without telling me. Look at this stupid note! I can read between the lines.’ [laughs] And then they call her, and she's like, ‘I knew you would understand my note. That's my boy, don't fuck this up! I'll take this on for you.’ Yiwa takes on the social pariah role here, of being the lesbian who ran away the day of the wedding, leaving Lom at the altar, ‘how dare she?’

The power here is that Yiwa doesn't give a fuck anymore. That's the whole thing about heteronormative shame: it only matters where you can exert that influence over people. Yiwa and Marine said, we cannot exist the way we want to, so we are leaving and going somewhere else. That is a choice a lot of us choose to make: to leave our home communities, to go build community with other people elsewhere. And then she gives Lom the ability to spin that, to soft launch his relationship with Nuea. Because they don't come out as a couple for like six months after that. They put on the act of Lom being a drunken mess for months—he's fine. He's just spraying alcohol on himself and then going to work with his hair unkempt.

NiNi

Episode 7’s so delightful. But anyway, continue.

Ben

And he's just hanging out with Nuea, and he just tells people, ‘yeah, we bonded over the wedding stuff because we had a lot of work to do really quickly for the wedding, and you know he felt sympathy for me afterwards. And he took care of me at a really difficult time, and I feel comfortable with him. I loved Yiwa, she was the only woman I was ever willing to marry.’

Not a lie! But also not the exact truth.

NiNi

I loved the big lie at the end, because it was basically Lom, Yiwa, and everybody in the situation putting two giant middle fingers up at their society, and the people around them. Aside from the people who, as you rightly said, would have protected them anyway. So all the women in Nuea’s life, and the people who he works with at the wedding planning company—basically the people who earned the right to know the truth know the truth. And everybody else gets two giant fucking middle fingers and the big lie.

Ben

It's a little bit like the ending with Bad Buddy, about them breaking up publicly but still being together? It's the same question: who is allowed to know? Something for you to think about, if you didn't get this show and you hated Lom and all this sort of stuff—ask yourself if the queer people in your life trust you. Would you be brought in? Would you be trusted with this information? Lom's mother realizes along the way what was going on the whole time, because she's not stupid. And she says quite plainly—because Lom has not properly come out to her yet, he's been hinting at it, he's like, I feel comfortable with him—and she says, ‘I'm still doing what I need to do to process this, but just promise me you won't leave.’

What she recognized is that she was playing a zero sum game that she could lose. That her son could make the same choice as Yiwa. She recognized that he and Yiwa were likely withholding important information about themselves, from their parents, for a really long time. And that can be really unsettling. It's something I went through in my family when I started coming out, that people were very put off by how I just…hid hugely important portions of my life from them, for most of my life. And she recognized that if she pushed too hard, she would get nothing.

NiNi

It really is the Bad Buddy conundrum, because this is where their parents are at the end, where they know, but if they're not willing to fully be on board? Then they don't get to fully know. And they don't get to be fully involved. Lom's mom knows, but until and unless she's willing to wholeheartedly accept Nuea there will always be now, at this point, a barrier between her and her son. All she can ask of him is that he doesn't leave. But beyond that, she doesn't get to ask anything of him, until and unless she is ready to fully accept every part of who he is. I can't believe that came from MAME's pen.

29:23 - Things we love about Wedding Plan and final ratings

Ben

Something else I really love—I really love the community around Nuea, particularly his family. I love when he goes back to Chiang Mai, and he sees that his little cousin is also out and proud now and has a hot boyfriend. And I love that Sun, Ryu’s boyfriend, is immediately engaged in in-law solidarity with Sailom. Nuea’s family hates him, and he's like, ‘valid.’ Like, ‘If you want to stay here, you got to work.’ ‘Okay.’ And he just works. Nuea's family is protecting Nuea from someone who they think doesn't respect him. Everything mean that they're doing to Sailom is because they are protecting Nuea, and it's really not that much, what they're asking. They're basically just giving him a difficult time, until Nuea decides what to do with him. But Sun is helping him the whole time, he's like, ‘this family's very difficult, I got you bro.’ And that pairs really well with the phone call that Nuea has with Yiwa and Marine, where Yiwa is like, ‘Lom and I do love each other. That is my ride or die: it's been me and him for a long time. I'm not going to pretend that he is not the most important man in my life, but he's not who I'm building my future with.’

And I love that for Yiwa and Sailom, it is love between them. The heteros just misread it. They don't have to fake an admiration for each other. I love that Marine talks to Nuea, and talks about the sincerity of their feelings, and how she's okay, at this point. Because she's the only person that Nuea can really accept any sort of perspective from, and I'm really glad that they had that moment and that was just them.

NiNi

I love that in that moment she doesn't try to convince him of anything. She just says, ‘I can't tell you what to do. This is a crazy situation: here's what I accepted about this, here's why I accepted it. These people are good people.’

Ben

Right! She says their love is sincere.

NiNi

‘Yeah, but whatever decision you make I completely get, because I made my choice. You're gonna have to make your own choice as well.’ She spoke to Nuea very candidly, and I truly appreciated that, and I think that Nuea definitely appreciated that too.

Ben

I love the reveal about Sailom's hands always being cold because he was nervous.

NiNi

Ehhhh [laughs] It was one of those romance things that I'm just like ‘eh!’ about, but it was adorable. It was.

Ben

I really like Pak in this role. A lot of the times when MAME writes her ukes, they tend to be a little bit on the demure side, and they usually need a stern counterbalancing presence for them? I really like that Nuea did not need that at all. I also liked how queer Namnuea felt. He very much feels like a gay boy.

NiNi

I love stories about love and family, and this is one of the ultimate love and family stories. For me, and I can't believe I'm saying this, when it comes to love and family, it's going maybe a half step behind Moonlight Chicken this year for me? I can't believe that just came out of my mouth about a MAME show. But that's really truly how I feel about it. For me, it was a 10.

Ben

I ended up giving this show a 9.5. It's one of the ones that's going to linger with me for a while, and I think a big part of it was just how much everyone else really hated the show. I think we went into this show with a lot of MAME blinders on—I knowingly went into the show hostile. I don't really like a lot of what MAME does. But, respectfully, watching a MAME show—the writer famous for writing romances about boundary crossing—and being mad that her characters are crossing boundaries? Is a little bit disingenuous of a place to write your criticism from. That's her shtick.

Nuea crosses those boundaries too! Nuea had agency, and I really resent the way a lot of the takes damsel him and make him seem powerless. He's not! He is the one with all the power here. It's why Sailom is pouring everything he can into, every time he says ‘I like you, Nuea.’ Sailom is such a sap, and y'all really hated that man. And I really need y'all to reckon with that. Like if you listened to us and you hated Sailom, please, examine your life. [laughs]

NiNi

I have a smidge of sympathy up until episode 4, for anybody who struggled a little bit with Sailom. But only up until episode 4. Because somewhere to the beginning, middle of episode 4, it was very clear what they were driving towards? And then at the end of episode 4 when Sailom and Nuea hook up for the first time, I said to myself, ‘Okay. I see where this is going.’ And then when they get to Chiang Mai, and Sailom finally tells Nuea what happens, because Marine and Yiwa have given their okay, and Nuea said, ‘Duh. Clearly that's what's going on, I already knew that.’ Nuea wasn't fooled by Sailom.

Ben

No, Nuea basically guessed 90% of it accurately. The only thing he didn't really guess, was that they were both in on it. Let me say this as well while we're here: in terms of queer solidarity, Namnuea never once outed Yiwa when he caught her out with Marine. He did not mention that once. Not at all. He ain't tell none of his hoes. He ain’t tell none of his people. He caught those two out, was like ‘oh shit, is my gaydar broken?’ And then he didn't say shit about that. He didn't even hold that up in his whole thing with Sailom. And I respect the fuck out of that man for that, because that’s not his thing to say.

NiNi

The show is amazing.

Ben

It really is.

NiNi

It's, for me, an easy cruise into some type of VIIB Award at the end of the year.

Ben

It's gonna be a difficult year for us, when we're sorting out acknowledging the incredible work that's been done, but this is one of them.

NiNi

Delightful, emotional, deeply gratifying, deeply satisfying. Ben gave this a 9.5, I gave it a 10, let's call it a 9.75.

Ben

It can get a 10 from The Conversation.

NiNi

You heard it here first, folks: Ben says it can get a 10 from The Conversation. MAME gets a 10 from us, and nobody is more surprised than us—

Ben

It’s true.

NiNi

—that that is a thing that happened [laughs] on this show.

Ben

I feel so intense about this show. I get so mad about the discourse around Sailom. He's one of those characters, like, if you don't like him? I don't like you. Fuck off.

[both laugh]

NiNi

And that’s…a word!

37:26 - And another thing! The Wedding Plan special

Ben

And we're back! I have so much more to say, I am not through. [laughs]

NiNi

So before we get into Ben's ‘and another thing!...’ Let's talk a little bit about the Wedding Plan special, because there was a special episode, that cost $8.

Ben

[laughs] I paid $7 for my rental.

NiNi

However much it costs, it costs money. Which I'm slightly salty about because MAME had McDonald's money on this, she didn't need ours.

Ben

In her defense, she has done this on literally every show. Except for Love by Chance…and Don't Say No.

NiNi

McDonald's money. That's all I'm going to say.

Ben

And she cashed in! Good for her.

NiNi

[laughs] Anyway, so let's talk a little bit about the Wedding Plan special. Ben, tell the people what it was about.

Ben

The show's fucking called Wedding Plan. It was the fucking wedding, guys, let’s—we're not going to beat around the fucking bush on this one. It was the wedding for the gays! It was really beautiful. The basic premise is, the guys have been dating properly for what feels like a year, year and a half at this point. They're taking a trip to go back to see Namnuea's family. Before they leave, they have one final check-in with Lom's mom, where she meets Nuea properly as Lom's boyfriend. She doesn't take it very well, but Sailom does not give a shit.

Meanwhile Sailom is working with Wiwa Square to organize a secret wedding for Namnuea. Hilariously, Im still does not like Sailom, and I thought that was an excellent character detail. So they go and travel back to the north, and Sailom has Nuea taking him around—I think they were in Chiang Mai?—to check out sites and locations while everyone else has moved to Namnuea's house to set up for this wedding that Namnuea doesn't know about. Lom proposes to him, they end up having the wedding the next day. It's this incredibly beautiful ceremony, it’s very traditional Thai, I believe. There's more I want to say about some of the stuff that happened at the wedding, but that's the basic premise: Lom organizes a wedding for Namnuea, and his friends plan it in secret. Which I actually think is lovely for a wedding planner, that he didn't have to plan his own wedding.

NiNi

That's the crux of it. You guys know, I am not the one the two or the three for these weddings. I believe in marriage. I believe in the importance of marriage. I am generally not a fan of the weddings. But, this one? It was beautiful, I do have to say. It was a beautiful wedding, everything around the wedding was beautiful. When I was talking about Wedding Plan in the main part of the show, I was talking about how much I love love and family. And that was what the wedding episode was about, it was love and family. Yiwa and Marine were there at the wedding, being Sailom's family, because while his mom is starting to come around to Nuea, she's still not there yet. So she doesn't get to be a part of this. So Yiwa and Marine are his family. They show up for him. They are hosting on his behalf. It's beautiful. It's just so beautiful.

Ben

I did not praise Pakpai enough in our recording; Pakpai’s reaction, as Nuea, to Yiwa appearing before him, for this wedding that he had just found out about? Is one of the most perfect expressions I’ve seen all year.

NiNi

Because he hasn't seen them since they left for England.

Ben

I am a gay boy who believes in community. And believes in gay people taking care of each other. And that means that I have worked in solidarity with lesbians. And it is such a beautiful thing for me, in this year of really good shows, to see two lesbians in a critical role in the lives of gay men. There's something so special about the unconditional, ride or die love between Yiwa and Lom, and how that extends to Marine and Nuea, and creates this very special little family unit. I cannot overstate how important it is to me that Nuea almost cried because he was overwhelmed with emotion getting to see Yiwa in front of him again, and for a wedding that he had just found out about. That was his first reaction: awe, and then he burst into tears because he loved her so much and had missed her for that long. That is so beautiful!

As for the other things in the special…The ceremony itself is really beautiful. There's a lot of really great moments in there. There's this very special moment between Namnuea and Im, where she comes to pay respects, and he takes her hand, and he says ‘I love you’ in this way that conveys a very special history between the two of them? That sent me over the edge and I burst into tears right away. [laughs] I do not know what those two have been through together, but that ‘I love you’ was one of the most effective I love yous I have ever experienced in this genre, and it was not between romantic leads at all.

NiNi

We always go up for the non-romantic I love yous in BL. lt's the Jim and Li Ming thing all over again. Namnuea’s co-workers being there for him at his wedding, the way that they put it together for him, the way that Marine and Yiwa stepped in to be Lom's family, the way Nuea’s actual family stepped in as well. There's a gorgeous scene, after the actual wedding ceremony, where they do—I suppose this is another traditional part of a Thai wedding, which is a bedding?—where Nuea's parents are with them in the room, and talking to them about love and commitment and marriage, and that's the part that put me into tears.

Ben

It was really funny, because like we had not really seen any of the dads in the show. Moms were a big deal in the show. Nuea’s dad is just this sweet man! It was overwhelming for me, how just beautifully sweet this man was, and the way he was pouring love out to Sailom, because he's like, ‘I never thought Nuea would get to have this.’ Nuea, the wedding planner, who spends so much of his time trying to make sure other people's dreams come true? I was floored by his dad just being there: ‘I just wanted my son to be happy, and I'm so thankful that you were able to do that for him.’ And I was like, ‘I don't know who you are sir, but good job!’

NiNi

It was really really gorgeous, and just so many other things…also the stuff that's happening between Sailom and Nuea. The way that Sailom proposes, and the way that Nuea knew it was coming but he still got surprised by the way that it happened? That was gorgeous. And then again, after the wedding and after the bedding, when it's just the two of them in the room, and Nuea does the thing where he pays respect to his husband? And says that that's something that he always wanted to do? The way that these two take marriage so seriously, and especially the way that Nuea feels about it. Because like I said, Nuea is a wedding planner; he sees weddings every day. He sees these rituals and ceremonies and everything every day. And I can just imagine him sitting thinking to himself, ‘one day, one day, and this is something that I want to do with my husband, and this is something that I want to do with my husband’—I can just imagine that. And then meeting Sailom and falling in love with Sailom and actually getting to marry Sailom, and being able to do that, and the way that he is so emotional about that. Mmh! Got me right in the feels.

The reason that I tend not to like weddings is because a lot of the time I find them so artificial, so stage managed and overproduced. I'm talking about this not just in terms of weddings in fiction, but weddings in real life. So, watching something so sincere, something so genuine, something so personal… t’s a production, yes, all weddings are, but it was real! Everything about it was so real, it was so emotional, it was so…[sigh] it was great. It was fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed that. I cried more than once watching the special. It just added to the joy of discovering Wedding Plan and this whole little universe and these characters.

Ben

There was a lot of little stuff happening around that. Like, one of the things that I think MAME is actually pretty good at, is really caring about her supporting cast in a useful way? She's very good about understanding why that character is there. There's Yiwa and Marine getting to have a private moment, being a little bit sad that they didn't get to have this, a Thai wedding with the people who love them around them. And I like that they got to have, like a quiet bitter moment about that. And I like that they didn't put that on Lom and Nuea, it's not something that they need to be consoled about, it's just one of those things that hurts about being queer sometimes, and that's part of the choice they made. They did take on that hurt, to give the boys a chance to be together, but it still hurt, and I like that the show never forgot that. This show cared about its lesbians, they mattered to this story, they weren't there just to check off boxes to make sure that we covered all of our bases. They were still telling their story.

I love Sun and Ryu listening at their goddamn bedroom, and then having to be chased off. Great comedy. But also I loved it, I loved that there were younger gays excited about gays slightly older than them getting to have their moment together. It was such a special execution of that.

I genuinely like that the Wedding Plan special episode is treated as a special episode. I like where the show ends for itself. I like thinking about the wedding as a special epilogue for the story, and not necessarily as the actual finale of the story. I think it's better as epilogue content.

NiNi

I have to agree! So all in all, when it comes down to Wedding Plan, looking back at it now, I think we definitely stand by how we felt about it. I think that… I have, you know Ben has, gotten even more in love with it? And even more, I think, defensive and vocal about it, because it's good! It's just good. And I don't like people saying it's not! That's it for me.

Ben

This is the number 4 or 5 show of the year for me.

NiNi

Yeah, there you have it.

Ben

Currently it's behind—in no specific order because we're not at the VIIB Awards yet—Moonlight Chicken, My School President, La Pluie, and probably The Eighth Sense? It's that good!

I am in this genre for queer cinephile reasons. I am here to connect with people for gay reasons. I'm not in this for, like, taboo, or to see cute boys kiss each other because it's titillating in and of itself. I exist as a queer person, it informs my decisions on the regular, and it was such a relief to see characters that were not incidentally gay, so that we can imagine two idols bumpin’ uglies.

I really love Sailom and Namnuea so much. Sailom got updated to blorbo status so quickly. Every week I'll just send NiNi a gif of Sailom and be like, ‘they really hated this man!’

[both laugh]

NiNi

He's not even kidding, this literally happens.

Ben

[laughs] It’ll just, just be a great gif that somebody made of Sailom and I’ll be like, ‘they really hated this man!’

Something else I want to say quite plainly here, and I would like you, as listeners of the podcast to reckon with this—and I would really like to talk about this, so please talk to me on Tumblr about this: Part of why I think Wedding Plan did not hit for people, is that Namnuea doesn't look like a girl, and doesn't behave like a girl. He behaves like a kind of femme man, and he feels very gay, in a way that is distinctly masculine. Additionally, the show doesn't really conform to a seme-uke dynamic very well, because Namnuea does seme things—like I noticed in episode 2 that he does a kabedon on Sailom. And I know that bothered a lot of the people who are obsessed with loyalty to the tropes. Namnuea is so self-assured, and I don't necessarily think that that resonated for the people who are in this for BL reasons and for regular romance beats. And I wonder a lot if that was their big problem.

I would really like to have a secondary conversation with the folks who listen to us about this particular dynamic, because I do think it's worth us unpacking why people—as much shit that gets talked about MAME—refused to engage with the show. This is legitimately one of the top queer narratives of the year. And we snubbed this show. I have watched people talk shit about MAME and her writing for five fucking years, and when she writes a whole show that is basically the byproduct of all of our feedback, we snubbed it! When MAME returns to her roots, I don't want to hear none of y’all who snubbed Wedding Plan saying a goddamn thing about her.

NiNi

I'm so mad at you for saying when MAME returns to her roots. Like this was clearly a fluke.

Ben

She's gonna be like Jafar! She's going to be like, ‘let's see how snakelike I can be, bitches!’

NiNi

So you definitely are of the view that this is not a change for MAME, this is just a detour.

Ben

I don't know! I don't know, like I was not expecting Wedding Plan. This show has so much goddamn heart to it, and it was gay! In a real way!

NiNi

I think you need to start subscribing to my vibes-based scoring method.

Ben

What? Absolutely not!

[both laugh]

Nah, it's always about the recommends. Legitimately, it's a 10 recommend. Everyone needs to go fucking watch this show. This is essential viewing for this year. This show represents a fascinating growth point for MAME; because we've criticized her for five years and she made something that is one of the most wholesome gay things I have ever watched in the genre. And we snubbed it, and threw it away.

To the cast of Wedding Plan: you all did a fantastic job, and I hope you all had a really fun time together. I want to thank every single one of you for the work you all did, because you all collectively created one of the most compelling community support systems I've ever seen in queer TV, truly. Especially to all of the women who are on that cast. BL women get messed around a lot, and don't often get to do a lot of great stuff, and every single one of you did a fantastic job.

NiNi

That is going to wrap us up on the Wedding Plan episode. We out! Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Y’all better watch this fucking show. Peace.

[both laugh]

#podcast #lgbtq #wedding plan #wedding plan the series #thai bl #bl series #MAME #ben and nini's conversations #the conversation #on art #season 3 #fall #fall series

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astronnonyy · 29 days ago

Text

I've noticed some misconceptions about how Dark's powers work in my time in the fandom, some of which I believed myself, so I thought I'd make a post going over their powers and how they seem to work within AvA canon. I'm mostly just making this for my own reference, but hopefully this will be useful for other people too 👍

(For the record, I'm not trying to call out or criticize anyone by making this, it's purely for reference purposes. You do whatever you want when writing/drawing stuff)

Without Wristbands

Without the wristbands introduced in The Showdown, Dark only has three* powers that we're ever shown, compared to the four+ that Chosen has, which I will describe below.

The power they use the most is pyrokinesis, much like Chosen has. They can create fire, and use fire to fly.

They're also shown to be able to breathe fire like Chosen does, despite not having a visible mouth (ie. A pac man mouth).

Dark can also create what I can only think to call fire bombs, and has done so in every episode they've appeared in. These are unique to them and Firefox, and Chosen is not shown to share this ability, (which leads me to believe that this is not directly linked to their shared pyrokinesis abilities).

*I'm not sure if this counts as one power or two, but I'm going to talk about them as two facets of one power.

Dark and Chosen both seem to possess some sort of heightened physical resilience, as well as super strength. Being thrown through walls, and throwing others through walls, with little to no actual damage being sustained.

(It's difficult to get proper screenshots of this, but you can see it in just about every scene the two are part of.)

There's also. whatever the hell this attack was. which I can only think to put under this section, because they never do anything like this again.

At no point is Dark shown to have laser eyes as part of their normal powers.

With Wristbands

With the wristbands, Dark's power set completely changes. They're never shown using their normal powers again after this point, which leads me to think they may not be able to, though that's 100% speculation on my part.

They gain a number of new abilities, as well as a boost to their physical strength and resilience, seeming to surpass Chosen's abilities. Specific powers and abilities are described below.

They gain multiple abilities previously used by the Virabots, including the ability to fly/levitate without the use of fire (which they could not do previously), and summon spikes that delete things they hit.

There's also some things that seem to be unique to them in this state, namely being some sort of black energy balls they can throw, laser eyes of their own, and, most iconically, the ability to summon the V blade.

The exact properties of these abilities (minus the blade) are unclear.

The V blade, however, is a sharp, sword-like weapon, which has the ability to cut through and instantly destroy normal stick figures, reducing them to code. It, alongside the Virabots themselves, also seems to severely weaken both Chosen and Alan's cursor, ultimately destroying the latter and kicking Alan out of the battle.

Dark seems to be able to easily outpace Chosen with the wristbands on, throwing them around and eventually pinning them down with the help of the Virabots.

It also appears that they may have gained an immunity/resistance to Chosen's laser eyes, or at least they're less concerned about them. Previously in both AvA 3 and The Showdown, they're shown to run away and avoid being hit by the lasers, but after putting on the wristbands, they tank laser beams with no hesitation.

I don't really have much of a conclusion to this post, so I'll leave it here for now. Hopefully this is useful, or at least interesting, to others! ✌

#mine #not a reblog #ava #animator vs animation #ava the dark lord #for later #reference #analysis #< does this count as an analysis??? idfk

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merriclo · 1 month ago

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A Quick Analysis of the Tanizaki Siblings

With the release of chapter 118, it’s been officially confirmed that Naomi and Jun’ichirō are not blood-related, seemingly shifting their entire dynamic. this has, of course, resulted in many different opinions and stances within the fandom, and i wanted to share my own thoughts on it.

this post will briefly go over each of their characters and their relationship with each other. later on, i will be making a video essay going even deeper into it, because,, i genuinely can’t stop thinking about this.

content warning for discussions of incest and sexual assault, harassment, and abuse. please please please don’t read if these topics are too heavy for you. take care of yourself. this is also a repost, as the original post didn’t show up in any tags. you can read the original post, alongside a great addition, here!

in order to fully understand them together, we need to establish who they are apart. so, part one of this will be an analysis on Jun’ichirō’s character, part two of Naomi’s, and part three of their relationship.

Part One — Jun’ichirō Tanizaki

(i’ve already discussed a bit of Jun’ichirō’s character in one of my earlier posts, but i wanted to take the time to further elaborate on a few points i made. i wasn’t able to fit some other points in, though, due simply to them not being very relevant, so if you’re curious, go check that one out too!!)

Jun’ichirō is an incredibly fascinating character for multiple reasons. he thinks of himself as incredibly average. I’d like to call attention to this quote in particular. a fact exemplified by this quote:

“…Tanizaki felt he was mediocre at his job, held mediocre principles, and had a mediocre sense of justice, which made him a mediocre human being. He didn’t have the courage to talk back to or stand up to Dazai. Put simply, he was incredibly passive.”

this is found in A Day at the Detective Agency on page 42, a short story detailing how the Armed Detective Agency decided what Atsushi’s entrance exam would be, told through the third person perspective of Jun’ichirō.

these words, these claims of mediocrity, are his own. he truly believes himself to be an average, unassuming member of the agency. in other parts of the story, he calls himself timid (pg 37) and an ordinary guy (pg 54), and says that his smile always lacks self-confidence (pg26.) his genuine opinion of himself is that he’s nothing special.

despite this, we see time and time again that he is a trusted and valued member of the Agency. in the Cannibalism arc, he was left to face the entirety of the Black Lizard all by himself, and prevailed. Even Hirotsu, a veteran of the Port Mafia and leader of the Black Lizard—a man who spends his days surrounded by the most skilled assassins Yokohama has to offer—said that Jun’ichirō was terrifying, and perfectly suited for assassination. this is only exemplified by the fact that he almost succeeded in killing Mori, thwarted only by Kōyō at the last second.

in A Day at the Detective Agency, it’s said that Kunikida needed the help of the best of the best, meaning Him and Naomi (pg 42.) but Jun’ichirō brushes this off, saying that Kunikida only wanted Naomi’s help, but the siblings had become a kind of package deal, and that’s why he was also recruited to help him.

this boy’s esteem is horrifically low, and he refuses to see his own worth, making every excuse there is just to call himself normal. (this is the reason why i honestly view him in A Day at the Detective Agency as a a bit of an unreliable narrator: his own self-perception leads to many false statements, all primarily centered around himself.)

however, we as the audience know that Jun’ichirō is not at all normal. the moment someone he cares for is put in harms way, a switch flips in his mind and he becomes an incredibly dangerous person who will stop at nothing to try and save them. we see this first in chapter four when Higuchi shoots Naomi.

this is also the mindset that he was in when he battled the Black Lizard and attempted to assassinate Mori in the Cannibalism arc, as well as when he faced off against John Steinbeck and H.P. Lovecraft. most recently, this is shown in chapter 117 when Jun’ichirō threatens to rip an actual God (Ame-no-gozen) limb from limb. (i’d add photos of the panels but i have a very limited amount of pictures that i can add!! sorry (′︿‵｡) )

this willingness to abandon any and all morals should his loved ones be put in harms way is a cornerstone of his entire character. So long as it preserves the lives of the members of the Agency, he will do anything. and that isn’t limited to just killing someone, either. without hesitation, he volunteered himself to be the one traded off to the Port Mafia the moment the possibility of Yosano going there was mentioned.

furthermore, in a Bungo Stray Dogs exhibition, Asagiri claimed that Jun’ichirō is the closest to “evil” out of everybody in the ADA (exhibition translation found here!!) (also, it’s so interesting that the translator put sister in quotations. there really has been hints all along!!) this excerpt discusses the scene where Jun’ichirō faced off against John Steinbeck and H.P. Lovecraft, and tricked an innocent trucker into hitting his enemy using his ability Light Snow, causing a crash that the trucker would not be able to escape from unharmed. he did all of this just to ensure the safety of Naomi.

in summary: Jun’ichirō views himself as an incredibly mediocre, insignificant person, and he will do absolutely anything if it means saving his loved ones.

Part Two — Naomi Tanizaki

(warning this analysis is not the kindest to Naomi. if you don’t wanna read that, stop now!!)

Naomi is based off of the main female lead of the irl Tanizaki’s work Naomi—a story where a man tries to turn 15 year old Naomi into a Westernized woman, but ends up getting manipulated by her instead when she changes the power dynamic between them. (there’s.. many aspects of Naomi that i believe impact BSD, but ahajjdkdka that’s for another post.)

Naomi is introduced as Jun’ichirō’s obsessed sister. she is shown to be all over him, touching him inappropriately in public and singing his praises. she’s clingy, and doesn’t leave his side once.

but, there’s a lot more to her if you look closely.

firstly, she is incredibly intelligent. In A Day at the Detective Agency, she conspired with Dazai to cheat her way into being the hostage and Jun’ichirō being the bomber during Atsushi’s entrance exam.

“Startled, [Jun’ichirō] looked over at Naomi, who gazed back at him teary-eyed.

“I just…”

[Jun’ichirō] could see the hearts pulsating in his sister’s eyes. She covered her slightly crimson cheeks with her long, delicate fingers, then said, “I just wanted…to be your hostage so you could tie me up and threaten me, my dear, sweet brother…”” (pg 51.)

then, in the main series, she nearly caught on to the significance of Haruno’s cat, Mii-chan.

keep in mind, she is not one of the detectives. she doesn’t have an ability, and she hasn’t been trailed by Natsume for years like Fukuzawa and Dazai have. despite all of this, she picked up on this weird correlation before even Haruno, his owner, did. and let’s not forget how surprised both Fukuzawa and Mori were at the reveal of Natsume being Mii-chan.

furthermore, in chapter 23, in which Steinbeck and Lovecraft hunt Haruno and Naomi down, it’s shown that she remembered exactly what Dazai told her in regards to how she should act in an emergency situation.

not only did she execute this advice near-perfectly, but she planned ahead in order to do so. in fact, if it weren’t for Steinbeck’s ability, they would have easily gotten away.

Haruno says that she would bet on Naomi outclassing Jun’ichirō as a detective, and i have to agree with her. in A Day at the Detective Agency, Naomi’s little plan that i mentioned earlier went off without a hitch. granted, it was likely Dazai who laid out all the steps, but she executed it without error and fooled both her brother and Kunikida.

Naomi is also a highly trusted employee, despite only working part-time (A Day at the Detective Agency, pg 25.) she’s very close with Fukuzawa, and i’d go so far as to say that she acts as a kind of personal assistant for him sometimes. in chapter 15, she is the only Agency employee present alongside Fukuzawa for the between the ADA and The Guild, a very high-stakes and confidential meeting. she is also the only person to think of getting Fukuzawa in chapter 10 when the rest of the employees are bickering about whether or not they can save Atsushi.

(manga panels provided by the amazing @shin--soukoku !! i wasn’t able to access the English translations of this chapter, and they came to my rescue. thank you!!! <3 go follow them they’re so cool and smart and correct about everything.)

in summary: Naomi is freakishly intelligent, and she’s not afraid to use her wits to manipulate a situation to her advantage. she’s well-respected in the Agency, and has the connections to influence others.

Part Three — Their Relationship

(in this part, i will be discussing topics like incest and sexual assault, harassment, and abuse. if that is at all too heavy or triggering for you, please stop reading immediately. take care of yourself, and stay safe <3)

alright, first things first, let’s establish something: these two are siblings. i’ve seen many people that they are not, but i have to disagree.

not only do they commonly refer to each other as brother and sister, but it’s also up in the air as to whether or not Naomi is even aware of their lack of blood-relation. furthermore, two siblings not sharing any DNA doesn’t make them not siblings. fostered, adopted, and step-siblings are still siblings, and as such i will continue to view the Tanizaki’s as siblings. they see each other as brother and sister, and so that is what they are. their relationship is incestuous.

it is also not consensual.

it is stately clearly several times that Jun’ichirō does not enjoy what Naomi does to him, especially when they are in public. here are just a few examples, taken from the A Day at the Detective Agency short story:

“To make matters worse, [Naomi] always tried to have some sort of physical contact with her brother, regardless of location or who was around…. [Jun’ichirō] would start acting self-conscious every time, and his eyes would wander, but Naomi even seemed to enjoy her brother’s reactions.” (pg 26)

“Naomi softly traced [Jun’ichirō]’s collarbone with her fingernail…. [Jun’ichirō] turned red and blinked uncomfortably.” (pg 26)

“[Naomi had] also taken that as an opportunity to try to force herself on [Jun’ichirō], but he managed to escape.” pg. 33

to clarify, the first two quotes take place in front of several of the other detectives, and the third when the two are alone. when it’s said that Jun’ichirō’s eyes were wandering, it was later specified that he was looking at anything but her (pg 27.)

throughout the manga, Jun’ichirō also expresses that he’s uncomfortable with her advances in public. however, whenever he tries to stop her, she threatens or embarrasses him. this is an example of that as seen in chapter 4.

Jun’ichirō, for lack of a better term, resigns himself to this. despite the severe discomfort of himself and everyone who bares witness to them, he makes very few moves to stop her.

the reason for this is stated clearly on page 54 of, you guessed it, A Day at the Detective Agency.

“The only thing [Jun’ichirō] really even wished for was his little sister’s happiness.”

he will do anything if it means making her happy.

Naomi and Jun’ichirō relationship is very realistic in the sense that one person leverages the other’s love against them, as is the case in many instances of incestuous sexual abuse. it’s an incredibly common manipulation tactic, and it results in the abuse lasting for extremely long periods of time.

Jun’ichirō’s willingness to do whatever it takes to make Naomi happy is the very thing she uses against him, weaponizing the love they have for each other so that she can do whatever she would like to him.

and i do think that the love they have for each other is real, to a degree. in my opinion, Jun’ichirō does not see her in either a romantic or sexual light, but he does love her. meanwhile, Naomi absolutely views Jun’ichirō in a sexual way.

in addition to this, i think there’s also a kind of limerence going on between both of them. limerence is when someone has an obsessive, unrequited attachment towards somebody, often surfacing as a romantic or sexual fixation on them, or as pedestalizing them.

Jun’ichirō’s seems to surface as the latter, as seen here in chapter 24.

he’s surpassed just placing her on a pedestal, he’s placed her on the same level as the divine, hence his continued willingness to let her assault and harass him time and time again, despite his own displeasure.

(i would like to further emphasize that the fact that Jun’ichirō loves and idolizes her does not make what she does to him okay. what we see within the manga and light novels can be defined as sexual harassment/assault. furthermore, it’s implied several times that they’ve had intercourse. due to Jun’ichirō’s own blatant discomfort, and the reoccurrences of her manipulating and using threats against him, and how it’s said that Naomi forces herself on him and forces him into doing things, i’m not afraid to call it rape. i just wanted to make it extra clear that despite exploring their characters, i am not excusing anything she does. Naomi is an abuser, and Jun’ichirō is her victim.)

the Tanizaki siblings’ relationship can be summed up as this: Jun’ichirō will let Naomi do anything, so long as it makes her happy, and Naomi takes continuous advantage of this facts.

a very common theme in Bungo Stray Dogs is that the cycle of abuse is not without love, and that you can harm someone you love without intending to, and that you can love someone who has harmed you. Dazai cared for Akutagawa, the Headmaster cared for Atsushi, both Kōyō and Akutagawa cared for Kyōka, and Verlaine cared for Chūya. each of these relationships explore different kinds of abuse—mentor-mentee, mother-daughter, father-son, brother-brother—and the love that is often trapped inside of them. it’s one of my favorite things about this entire series.

this is a topic i will dissect much deeper in my video essay (of which’s release date i am still unsure of at the moment,) but i wanted to mention it here at the end here because i think the Tanizaki siblings are a very good representation of this.

that’s all i have to stay about the siblings at the moment. i’m sorry if some points seem under-supported, i had to leave out a lot to bend around tumblr’s image-limit and to keep this shorter than i originally intended. also my bad for any and all spelling or grammar mistakes, i tried to fix everything but i usually miss some stuff!

thank you so so much for reading all of my rambling thoughts about the Tanizaki’s, and i highly encourage you to add on your own thoughts (agreeing or disagreeing, i’m open to all conversations!!) in either the reblogs, the notes, or my askbox!! i only ask that you be respectful about it, as this is just an analysis i did for fun in my own spare time（⌒▽⌒ゞ thank you all so much again for reading, i know this was a bit of a long one <3

#take a shot every time i mention A Day at the Detective Agency ahajjdkdka #i’m so normal about jun’ichirō #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd tanizaki #bsd junichiro #bsd junichiro tanizaki #bsd naomi #bsd naomi tanizaki #bungo stray dogs analysis #bsd analysis

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bluishfrog · 7 months ago

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HAPPY 1-YEAR OF DRAWING ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

(Warning: slightly longer post incoming cause sometimes I gotta be a sentimental bitch ok? So let's go on a little trip down memory lane.)

This day, a year ago, I made my very first fanart. It was dnf (if that surprises you, then welcome to being on my blog for the very first time). I drew a little frog face too so I could use it as a watermark (fun fact: I still use that very same first one).

I immediately put my drawing up on twt because I told myself that I wasn't gonna be afraid of having people see that I was at the very beginning of this journey and had no clue what I was doing. That instead of being bad at art, I was gonna be awesome at being a beginner who doesn't know shit.

I started with little doodles and silly comics and then I laughed way too long when the first drawing of mine that gained some attention was a dnf butt joke. At the time I was trying to balance shipping and non-shipping art so I didn't even draw dnf that much but in hindsight it's probably the only possible way this could have gone.

At the very end of August I woke up to @honelle56 caps-locking at me in my messages - I was very confused and tired (I am no morning person and I will never be, fuck off with your mornings) because Dranart liked my drawing of singing Dream. Dranart was my 17th follower on twt which is a useless yet extremely funny fact about my time on that hellsite.

I also drew human!patches because a) patches was and will always be my favorite dteam member and b) it was a really cute trend and while I do love drawing dream, george and sapnap, I was also quite happy to try drawing anything but a white man for once. And I really liked how the drawing turned out.

Much, much later, I tried to draw my first slightly more realistic looking drawing. I was extremely confused on how to draw anything like this. Especially their hair gave me tons of trouble but given my experience, I think it's not a bad attempt.

When hijacked smp started I obviously wanted to participate, and I drew c!blu who doesn't associate with any side in particular but instead serves soup to everyone who visits her tavern 'The Soup House'. She also wants to be paid in stories from all around the map.

One of the events I was most excited about was dnf week. I even collaborated with two talented writers and I drew the corresponding art for two fics.

(Fun or not so fun fact: when twt had like three hundred collaborative aneurysms about the situation at that moment, that was when I created this tumblr account. I didn't use it super actively (I guess I needed another situation to fully make the switch) but I at least started the account that now developed quite a bit since then.)

I didn't really draw at all through January and February and I actually kinda thought I would move on from that hobby and fandom (not because of negative feelings, just because I didn't really have the urge to create anything within this fandom) and then situations happened and now I am here; and for some reason that is beyond any logic and my understanding I am now even more insane about dteam.

Wild to me but we are rolling with it now, I guess.

Since I got here, I drew more than ever (I actually think I might have made more drawings in the month since I got here than I made the whole rest of the year). There's just such an active and funny community here that cares about fan works for the sake of creating and not just because a CC might see it.

Unfortunately, Tumblr won't let me add more than 10 images in one post (maybe fortunately for everyone who has this monstrosity of a post on their dash). So if you want to see all the progress I made since I got here, you can look at everything in my art tag. For now, I will close this post with one of the art works from the past month that I like the most:

Can't wait to see what the next year might bring :)

Love, blu

#blu rambles #like a LOT #but if you made it to the end of this post you get a hug <3 #bluishfrog art

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margoshamangolord · 2 months ago

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FOLKS I FINISHED BEAST WARS (thoughts and spoilers under cut)

1. The timeline is absolutely unique, i love how optimus and megatron aren't even optimus and megatron and how bw relates to g1

2. The graphics will never be an issue to me, it's more than enough for the time period and it's much more than watchable. I'm in love with the slimy cgi and didn't pay much attention to the quality. All i can see is designers and animators having fun

3. I think that the designs gradually got a little fucked up but it's okay

4. I really enjoyed Blackarachnia's character, she was so interesting for me! I'm not aware of the fandom's general opinion on her but she's my special girl now

5. There was like at least 5 times more on-screen gay kissing than straight kissing

6. If you didn't understand how insane i am about dinotrap from my previous posts then now i can say it's my #1 pairing,, i rarely have a fav ship when i watch something because of The Multishipper Curse that makes me think about too much characters together but for bw specifically i have a favourite. Usually I'm a little turned away from dynamics that are built on characters insulting each other but it's a special case, because they definitely share a bond and i can ramble for hours

7. Bw optimus is my 3rd place fav after tfp and tfa respectively (because they're a classic) (even though i know it's not even him) he's very much of a Some Guy who is Hungry And Needs a Nap and i like how he's just. a person. like a leader but he's just a guy come on. probably for the same reasons i love tfa op, i like seeing him get mean and angry and worried and yelling at his team and then understanding that he was wrong. my man

8. The predacons are so chaotic it's insane. The lack of a (main character i mean) Starscream is not noticed because there's not one con trying to take over, not two, not three, but I'm pretty sure everyone in the whole goddamn team has attempted it at least one time during the show.

9. And, with lack of Starscream, Megatron took all the cuntiness for himself. He stands out insanely among other continuities (again it's not him so). That voice? Thanks David Kaye!!! He's doing the whole dramatic hot villain thing that Tumblr loves, with blood baths and everything, and it deserves to be noticed. Megop is the classic tumblr dramatic villain x tired hero stuff you see in like 2016 writing prompts and everything. Megatron is insane here

10. I really enjoyed Dinobot. I cannot say this loud enough but he is my second fav after Rattrap because he's a really interesting and conflicted character. You see him as inherently evil? He does a beautiful gesture of kindness. You see him as good? He fails to disobey his nature. It goes on and on until his last eps. The betrayal? I was sobbing. That scene when he's on his knees with a sword? It fucked me up. The episode ending had me on the FLOOR.

11. I'm conflicted on dinobot 2 because on one hand, i do appreciate how it is shown how actually fucked up megatron and his schemes are. He's insane, and he's obsessed: he doesn't try to make any super soldier or whatever, but specifically wants to bring back dinobot and make him stay. And he fails, because it *is* dinobot deep inside, and that brings him down; his real sense of honor. He won't stay. His sacrifice was insane. But on the other hand, i actually didn't want Dinobot to be actually brought back. Sounds very nice but i think his actual death was really a point to his character that made me love him more. And when i saw Dinobot 2, i was kinda hoping that he would be an empty shell, an attempt, that it would be a plan Megatron put too much hope into, and that it's *not* dinobot, just a copy without a mind. Maybe im just weird sorey

12. Transmutate is gender

13. I love rhinox but it's sad that they didn't make him stand out as a character like the other maximals. He rarely got to be a main character, and even when he got to, he was just the butt of a joke and didn't get to build relationships and resolve personal problems like his teammates did. Or maybe i just wasn't looking at the screen when he did who knows. He's my big weird man

14. I enjoyed Tigatron and his conflict about the conflict so much

15. I'm actually sometimes a little disoriented/lost when watching something so i just straight up didn't notice half the character deaths??? I was just wondering where they went and then went oh.

16. who the Vok are the Vok. I wish they weren't Just Mysterious Aliens but more than that

17. Why did they keep making all of the characters so trans it's not funny im in tears

18. Beast wars was absolutely made for goddamn freaks im sorry. i loved it

19. I think everyone at the studio was gay for megatron. Why else did they animate the scene where he's in the bath wiggling his dinosaur toes

20. WASPINATOR FUCKING HAPPY AT LAST

#transformers #tf beast wars #beast wars #dinotrap #megop #just in case

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veetowervaporwave · 8 months ago

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Man I am so vanilla when it comes to ships in Hazbin...

Staticmoth: The epitome of toxic old men yaoi. They're just the worst. They push each other's buttons. They both have obsessions on the side but both want to be each other's center of attention. Other people's suffering gets them horny. They got married three times and divorced five times. They know exactly how horrible the other one is but it only makes them more attracted to each other. They're so toxic it's a health hazard for everyone around them. I wish nothing more than for them to die horribly while holding hands.

Chaggie: I've been shipping them since the pilot and I'll be real they were everything I wanted and even more. I always knew that their relationship would be mostly background stuff since they're an established couple, and I was excited to have something where the main character is in a stable and affectionate relationship. I didn't expect them to get a whole little storyarc with the whole angel drama... I'm just. So happy. Seeing them, knowing how much they supported each other over the years when they had no one else on their side, openly working out their issues... They're just everything that's good in the world.

Huskerdust: I feel about it a bit more differently compared to the previous two. I'm happy to see them just do whatever, but Huskerdust stands out because its development is kind of... part of the plot of the show, rather than just being an extra layer to their characters. I'm not even interested in fanfiction for them because I'm too excited to see how it progresses in the actual show.

Radiorose: QPR goals. Alastor having someone he's so comfortable with honestly elevated his character for me. I don't have a lot to say but I enjoy seeing them together immensely.

Appledust: guilty pleasure comfort ship, refer to this post for more context.

Ships I like less under the cut, I try not to be too mean but still, be careful.

Radiostatic (Or, I guess, Onewaybroadcast, rather): I like it a lot but only when it caters to my superspecific tastes. First of all it needs to be one-sided. The second Alastor reciprocates I'm like *Lucifer voice* "Who is this? Who is this man?" Second of all the "hate" part of the "hateboner" is essential (unless we're talking before their falling out). Vox both wants Alastor and wants him dead. It's been swirling inside him for years and had poisoned whatever relationship they had beforehand. There's no turning back from this.

RoyalHalo: I don't know how to explain it, but when I personally ship something "platonically", it's different from just regular shipping and different from having a brotp. Nothing much to say on the ship itself, they're cute.

Cherrisnake: I wish I could like it more but "Meh" is right. I think it has potential, unfortunately 8 episodes a season didn't allow it to develop. I wish we could have had Cherri before ep6 to establish her relationships with Angel and Pentious and I wish they had at least one genuine conversation before the end of the season.

Alastor x Charlie & Alastor x Angel: actually it's not about the ships themselves, just some bad experiences in the early fandom. Ik not all the shippers are like that, especially now when those ships are less popular and a lot of people are vocal about not liking them, but unfortunately I don't think I'll ever be able to enjoy them.

Lute x Vaggie: Nothing to say I just don't like it.

Val x Angel: I put a black line because my knee jerk reflex was to think of people like. Ignoring the abuse, but thinking about it, I do enjoy the exploration of their relationship if it's in-character. It's just not something I personally would consider "shipping". (But then what makes it different from onewaybroadcast? Guess I'm just a hypocrite or something)

"Found family" is a term that's used very differently by different people in the fandom, which is a little confusing to me, so I changed this category to "maybe".

Alastor x Husk: Much like the previous one, except I trust people with it even less after all the victimblaming Husk got after ep5.

Velvette x Vox and/or Velvette x Valentino: I don't ship those personally just for the reason that Vel genuinely seems uninterested, but I support the people who do. Especially the polyvees shipping. There's also additional element to this for me personally is that if Val and Vox were an item, there's a fear that Vel would come off as a third wheel or be pushed to the side, and if they were all together this wouldn't happen. So I have no choice but to support, even if I myself can't get into it.

Guitarspear: Lute ripping off her arm to go help Adam... The last thing Adam does before death is smile at her... God. They were also very fun hypemen for each other during songs, and just the general dynamic was really funny. I would say I like this ship when I see it, but I won't go out of my way to look for it?

Carmilla x Zestial: They're friends... The fanart is nice to look at. It's fine.

Radioapple: I'm conflicted. I guess I am kinda interested in what their relationship would be like in the show, but in fanworks I mostly enjoy the "they aren't actually attracted to each other but everyone thinks they are" dynamic. It's funny.

Pentious x Emily: Ok, one (1) crackship. My friend ships them and I kinda see the vision? Could be cute.

#.ramblings #idk how to best tag it... i guess I'll tag the ships I put above the cut lol #hazbin hotel #staticmoth #chaggie #huskerdust #radiorose #appledust

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intairnwetrust · 4 months ago

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Round three in defence of Violet Sorrengail

because apperently she is still the bad guy regarding Xaden's and her relationship problems and this take irritates the fuck out of me more and more the more I reread Iron Flame because have we read the same book?

Buckle up my dragon riders (who if we're honest half of us would end up like Dylan) this will be a bit long.

So what can you expect from this post:

I'm going to copy some paragraphs from my post "Round two in defense of Violet Sorrengail". On the one hand because I still stand by what I said and on the other hand so that you have a more chronological progression. Round three is basically an extension and supplement to round two (and other small posts i made on that topic)

Also i will absolutly call out Xaden on his bullshit but i won't paint him here as the devil. I still love Xaden it's just my annoyance with him is compounded by the fact that he 100% deserves it looking at his behaivor and how he handled things and the fact that certain parts of the fandom hate Violet for their relationship problems and won't look at Xaden at all.

Also some words to their relationship overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First, I want to address the lack of empathy for Violet

People are usually like "I know Violet is in a tough spot and she is only 23 but still..."

No honey it's so much fucking more then that.

I would love to see your reaction when you find out that your whole life, everything you believed in, was a lie. Then on top of that, you didn't even have time to process the whole thing properly.

After the revelation, Violet went straight into battle, in which she almost died! Then she finds out that her brother is still alive and then overall her being involved in the whole revolution. Violet didn't even got a break to process the whole thing properly and on top on that, in the first half of the time she didn't even have anyone to turn to. Her two dragons betrayed her and so did the man she loved and who wants to discuss relationship problem with a brother who played dead for 6 years? Plus she couldn't really talk to her friends either because then she would be forced to explain the context to them so they could develop an understanding, which obviously wasn't possible.

I completly agree that all this running in circles between the two of them was annoying as hell and you really only saw improvements almost at the end but Xaden is sooo much more to blame for the two of them not making progress than Violet.

Moreover it doesn't hinder the plot at all. We are shown their problems at the beginning and when she is with Xaden. I know shocking that we have come across problems that a couple is having when that said couple comes into the picture. She didn't cry about her problems to anyone accessible. Whenever we learned about her relationship problems it was in her inner monologue. It is completly normal, it is realistic, for someone in Violet's situation to thing about her whole relationship. If she wouldn't think about her issues with Xaden then it would means she wouldn't care.

You know you see this mindset in many areas of life where you think you would act better than the person in question, but how can I believe them when so many people can't put themselves in Violet's position? I admire Violet for being able to keep up with Xaden's bullshit for so long. I don't think I could.

The bullshit I will adress now

Like Ufff Xaden I love you but do better.

Let's start with empty promisses:

“You are going to tell me everything once I can properly shield, right?” It’s all I can do not to grab onto him and start shaking. Hard. “That’s what you promised in your bedroom.” He is not doing this to me. “‘Anything you want to know and everything you don’t.’ Those were your words.”

I so seriously wish he had never said that he would give her complete disclosure then at least I and Violet in this matter, would not have right to be mad about it that he wouldn't keep It

And another promise or rather let's say he didn't live up to his words

“I’ll earn your trust as soon as you realize you don’t need full disclosure. You only have to have the guts to start asking the questions you actually want answers to."

This statement annoys me on so many levels. First of all, let me quote Violet for some variety: "Trust is earned, and he isn’t even trying." He is indeed not trying or better tried not enough throughout the book. He didn't prove to Violet that she doesn't need full disclosure. We are here in chapter 3, unfortunately looks like this was forshadowing. Now to the second part of the Statement. *Talking a deep breath* Exuse me the audacity??? When you have the guts??? He did not just put the responsibilty on Violet here. Sirrrr you are the one who fucked up.

Which brings us to the next point (Hard work and this stupid 'Ask me a question'-game)

"I’m not afraid of hard work, especially not when I know just how sweet the rewards are."

Hmmm sureeee. You whole behaivor in IF says otherwise aka the whole question game .

Xaden is the one who broke Violet trust but for him waiting for a question from Violet basically means he expects from Violet to make the first step when he actually should do it! He broke her trust not the other way around. He makes it so easy for himself when he himself said he don't mind hard work to get what he wants. Yes, then act like that.

Also let's add another one:

“Both ways, but you’re shutting me out while I’m trying my damnedest to open up to you.”Says the man who’s never so much as told me he loves me. If he does. Gods, I’m so sick of having to make the first move when it comes to this man.

This! This! This! Yeah Violet I was also sick of it while reading the book.

today isn’t the day to open myself up to that rejection, too.“Sure, as long as you can keep your secrets. Has it ever occurred to you that this”—I gesture between us—“is all because you don’t trust me?” I take a step backward. “You expect complete, blind faith without giving it. It. Goes. Both. Ways.”

First of all This! This! This! and Yeah Xaden where is your hard work?

Also sorry but no this boy had the nerve to look disappointed when Violet didn't ask her question. Honey you could have simply start the conversation!

Like even Garrik is calling him out "Just doing my part to help your communication skills thrive in a stable relationship."

Now ladies and Gentleman let's jump to the prime of I want to struggle Xaden - Chapter 55

*Talking a deeep breath*

"You let me stew in it for months?"

"You didn't ask me!" He pushes off the wall but stops himself from taking more than a step. "I've been begging you for months to ask me what you want to know, to break down that last insurmountable wall you're keeping between us, but you didn't. Why?"

He has the nerve to put this on me?

Yeah seriously the audacity. He has the nerve to put it on her???

"You're the one who said you'd never be entirely truthful with me. How am I supposed to know what you will and will not answer? How am I supposed to know what there is to ask?"

Yes exactly

"I'm not mad about the deal." How does he not understand? "I'm pissed that you kept it from me, that you insist on making me ask for things you should openly share

And this is a principle Xaden and the hater don’t understand.

Because you were too pissed about my refusal to answer the superficial questions about the revolution to ask the real ones about us.

Let's talk about this quote in detail because it shows the two main issues I have with people calling Violet stupid and whiny for wanting full disclosure (or let's say two and half reasons because Xaden literally promised her that!)

First it's not (only) about the revolution it's about the simple fact that Xaden, subconsciously, shows Violet that he doesn't trust her when he doesn't speak up on his own about things that should be mentioned regarding their relationship; them and on top makes her work for it with expecting her to ask the right question.

He can tell me or he can choose not to, but I’m done having to guess which questions to ask.

This speaks for itself

Second, now let's look at Information about the actual revolution because Violet is not as stupid as the hater makes her out to be because let me quote this again "You are going to tell me everything once I can properly shield, right?"

Violet is not just like that standing here demanding crucial information that could put everyone in danger if it becomes public. She explicitly said once she can shield. Again Violet is not stupid. Moreover once she can shield it's her fucking right to know. Violet is such an important part of the revolution starting with her signet being such a powerful weapon. But wait there's more. She got important information about the Venin and worked out the plan on how to get information to restore the wards and also actively translate that information. She has a right to know what is going on.

Another point is how he handled Cat, or rather how he did NOOTT handle her.

Excuse me it was his ex who was vindictive and hateful to Violet for literally existing and he did nothing. Why did we get 'I will throw you off a cliff myself' from Dain and not Xaden? What annoys me even more and also confuses me is the fact that he even suspected that Cat would cause problems, hence the runes in her dagger like then why not talk to her??? Or the fact that Cat was literally his betrothed.

He basically just go with the flow and let Violet Deal with it (Although it has to be mentioned Cat just being a bitch, Xaden can't help it either)

Now after all this bullshit the light at the end of the tunnel - Chapter 58

“We don’t keep secrets. No more ask me. No more tests to see who’s in and who’s out of this relationship. It’s full disclosure between us…” I take a steadying breath and map out the golden flecks in his eyes just in case it’s the last time. “Or it’s nothing.”

“Done.”

OMG it was that easy?

"I understand that there will be times you can’t tell me everything—that’s the nature of what we do as riders—but I need you to stop setting me up for failure by insisting I figure out what there is to ask."

"Done."

Omg it was that easyyy??

Okay In the end, their whole problem was reflected on again by Violet and yes Violet even blamed herself partially, she was scared to ask because she feared the truth, but considering what the question was about (talking about the scars on his back) who can blame her? Xaden should have been much more accommodating all the way there. Violet's world was turned upside down, not his. Xaden shouldn't have waited for Violet to ask a question, but simply should have started the conversation.

Also I know it wouldn't have been actually that easy considering their circumstances. They're leading a freaking revolution and at the beginning of the book they were geographically separated so realistically there wasn't that much time to simply talk but the point still stands when you really want to be annoyed with someone because of these constant, repetitive and therefore annoying problems that the two of them had in their communication then please look at Xaden first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now some words to their relationship overall.

They fucking love each other.

They are unhinged for each other. They would die for each other.

It's the fact how happy Violet was that Xaden wrote her a letter. It's the fact how obssesed Xaden is with Violet's hair. It's the fact how both crush for the other. How both long for the other.

“You’re my gravity. Nothing in my world works without you.”

“Gravity,” he whispers, a slow, beautiful smile curving his mouth.

I wish everyone who says Violet doesn't deserve Xaden (and vice versa) wet socks for the rest of their lives 😛

If you have read this far, take some cookies 🍪🍪🍪

#Okay i ranted about Xaden now i need to rant about Tumblr #like ahhhhhhhhhh #*hysterical crying*#I have already formatted this text three times on tumblr AND IT WAS NOT SAVED EACH TIME #but now i am doneeeee #fourth wing #iron flame #Violet Sorrengail #pro violet sorrengail #xaden riorson #xaden x violet #violet x xaden

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multifandomwriter56 · 1 year ago

Text

Doubts Put to Rest

A/N: Hello Everyone! This is my first ever Suits story. I hope you enjoy. I have an OC I'm working on and I'm excited to post it.

Fandom Prompt #15: "Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it."

Summary: Y/n Specter is Harvey's younger sister and has been an associate at Pearson Hardman for three months. After the last case she had helped Harvey with, a threat of her being fired is going around. Donna and Mike try to help, but ultimately, only her brother can put her mind at ease... even if he is part of the problem.

Character: Harvey Specter, Donna Paulsen, Mike Ross, mentions Jessica Pearson

Warnings: language

Word Count: 1,565

*gif is not mine*

"Yes, exactly. They'll never know what hit them."

Harvey swivels in his chair, facing the two sources to his headache. "Why are the two puppies so excited about today?" He asks the two associates.

Y/n Specter rolls her eyes at her brother. The annoying pet name became Harvey's favorite since she started working at Pearson Hardman.

"I don't think he's ready for the truth." Mike teases, a smirk forming at the corner of his lips as he looks at his partner in crime.

Y/n doesn't even try to hide her smirk. "I agree. Maybe we should just run it by Jessica. I'm sure she would agree with us."

Mike's eyes widen. He shakes his head in warning, trying to be inconspicuous. He should've told the young girl that Harvey is in one of his moods and they shouldn't push too hard… especially on the subject of one Jessica Pearson.

Y/n immediately regrets her words when Harvey stands to his feet, any amusement he had completely gone.

"How about instead of wasting my time, you tell me what the fuck you found." He's not shouting, but he's not far from it.

Mike immediately spills their idea, working with Harvey long enough to know when to push and when to back off.

"Put it in writing and bring it to me by the end of the day." He orders as he settles back into his chair, his focus turning to his laptop. A clear sign of dismissal.

The two associates quickly leave the older man's office.

"Why would you say that?" Donna scolds, not even pretending she wasn't listening to their conversation.

Y/n shrugs her shoulders. "He wasn't in that bad of a mood this morning." She tries to defend herself. She has to be in a certain mood to even think about attempting to piss off her brother. "What happened in between this morning and now? We're going to win the case."

Donna's scolding glare turns to the other headache. "You didn't tell her?"

Y/n immediately notices how Mike turns on the puppy eyes. She rolls her eyes, no wondering Harvey always calls him a puppy. "Tell me what?"

She watches as her brother's secretary and associate have a staring contest, waiting for one of them to cave.

She may be an associate at Pearson Hardman, but Jessica made it clear to Harvey that his sister is not at his beck and call. She is to be available for other partners, just like the other associates.

And she prefers it that way. This case had more work and Mike asked for her help.

Just as she assumed, Mike is the first to cave.

"After the last case, Jessica started questioning whether or not it's a good idea to let you work here. She chewed Harvey out for punching that lawyer."

"It's not my fault Harvey feels the need to protect me... no matter how many times I tell him he doesn't need to."

"Oh honey, you know Harvey will always protect you. Even when he doesn't need to, he will."

Y/n can't deny Donna's words. Harvey has always been overprotective of those he cares about. That will never change. She just wishes he would butt out. "So Jessica wants me gone."

"She doesn't want to fire you, but she's starting to believe she's going to have to pick between the two of you and-"

"And there's no way she'll pick the kid sister over her own protégé." Y/n shakes her head. She knew working here was a bad idea. This is her brother's firm, not hers. She wanted it to be both, but it can't be. She's second.

And second choice never gets picked by the best.

"He told Jessica if you go, he goes." Mike tells her, his voice barely above a whisper as a paralegal passes by.

She snaps her eyes closed. No matter how old, how successful she is... she'll always be a headache for her brother. A nuisance he's been stuck with since their father passed.

"I don't pay you to sit around and gossip like school girls with Donna. Get to work." Harvey snaps.

Mike huffs as he turns on his heel and heads for the bullpen, but Y/n stays where she is, her eyes bravely staring right back at the raging bull.

The siblings stare silently at each other, making Donna bit her lower lip in dread. This could end very badly if she doesn't interfere soon. "Come on, Y/n. You can help me make copies while you wait for Mike."

Y/n breaks eye contact, forcing them to meet the redhead's. "Sure, Donna."

"No."

The two women freeze. Donna tries to catch Harvey's gaze but it's solely on his sister.

Y/n's stomach drops when Harvey gesture with his raised hand for her to come into his office. Maybe he's decided it will be better if she leaves. Maybe he realized he's tired of having her around. Maybe he wants her completely out of his life.

No. That's ridiculous. Harvey loves her. He may not always say 'I love you' but he shows it. Y/n has never questioned his love for her. Not until now.

But Harvey has never been in this position; to have to pick between his beloved law firm or his sister. Y/n knows how much this firm means to Harvey. She refuses to be the reason it's taken from him.

So with her head held high and her mind made up, Y/n strides into his office; ignoring the questioning raised eyebrow he sends Donna's way.

Standing in front of his desk, she waits for Harvey to sit, before she begins speaking. "I'm officially giving my two weeks notice."

The slight amusement that was starting to rise, drops like a cannonball. Harvey had seen that determined look many times before, mostly when Y/n was in her teens. The look is classic stubborn Specter glare and it brought back memories. Memories of Y/n stating her case on why she should go camping with her friends with no adults. Or when she was determined that she wasn't too sick to go to the courthouse to watch Harvey win against an old rival before throwing up the three crackers she ate thirty minutes beforehand.

But he never thought the girl would use that look to quit... to give up.

"What did you just say to me?"

"I'm not going to let you give up your job for me."

"Who said I was giving up my job?" At her fallen expression, Harvey quickly tries to explain. "Y/n, dammit, I didn't mean that I was picking my job over you. Neither one of us are leaving. You hear me? I'm not letting you quit and I'm not letting Jessica fire anyone. We're staying."

Y/n lets go of her fake fearless act, letting her legs give out as she plops down into the chair directly behind her. "H-How?"

"Because I'm the best damn closer the world has ever seen."

Y/n groans, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. "I fucking hate that answer."

"Welcome to the real world. It sucks." Harvey chuckles when that gets him another eye roll. "Don't worry. You're gonna love it."

"Already do."

Y/n lets the comfortable silence fall over them; glad the tension is gone.

She wants to drop it, but she needs to know. "Did Jessica really want me gone?"

Harvey shakes his head, the smile disappearing. "Dammit Mike." He mutters under his breath before turning his focus back to his sister. "Jessica was angry with me. We had to settle with the lawyer I punched. She was pissed and made threats she didn't mean. Jessica would never fire you. She loves you."

Y/n chews on his words, the hurt she was feeling towards the managing partner disappearing into the abyss. But she's not fully satisfied. "Jessica is still angry with you?"

Harvey swallows his pride. He refuses to admit it, but Y/n is one (if not the only) person Harvey is willing to put his pride aside for. "I apologized and I've been assigned two pro bono cases; one for each month."

Y/n can't hold back the smile. Jessica really knows how to hit Harvey where is hurts.

Harvey points an accusing finger at her, his eyebrows raised high. "And that look just cost you dearly. I'm assigning them to you."

Y/n's smile immediately falls. "Aww, come on, Harvey. You know Mike loves that shit. Why don't you give it to him?"

"Because then I can't punish him for blabbing his mouth to you and Donna about Jessica."

"I'll tell Jessica you pawned the case off to me." She ignores the fact that she sounds just like a five year old.

Harvey smirks. "No, you won't."

Y/n crosses her arms over her chest. "Oh yeah? And what's stopping me?"

She tries to ignore the anxiety building in the pit of her stomach. She never trusts Harvey when he has that look. A look so mischievous, the possibilities of what he is thinking are endless.

"I know you and Rachel stole Jessica tea set one night and had you own little tea party."

Y/n's jaw drops. There's only one person who knew about that besides the two woman there.

"Donna!"

Forevers: @desiredposion @theseakrakence @simonsbluee

#harvey specter x sister!reader #mike ross #donna paulsen #suits #suits one shot #harvey specter

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