#but man i wish i could just like go outside and get a hot dog at times like these

[shotmrmiller]

when the video on your phone freezes for a heartbeat, just a fraction of a second, you're jolted back to reality.

and then it begins to vibrate in your hand. you stare at the screen, eyes squinting against the unforgiving glow that pierces the darkness you're enveloped in. (had been, anyway.)

in the corner of it says 2:03 am. witching hour. when the world holds its breath. everyone except for him. as always.

the same man who couldn't fit you into his meticulously curated world for longer than a night; a world where emotions were ruthlessly shoved into a cardboard box and labeled non-essential. (yet dogs you endlessly.)

the phone continues to ring, vibration buzzing like a mosquito in your ear. you run through your very limited options. ignore it and you'll have to suffer with him having nothing better to do than cause you to lose sleep because you need the alarm to go off in the morning or pick up and let him prod at old wounds with his gloved fingers.

(fingers you wish were curling inside you again, pad of his thumb rubbing on your aching-)

this isn't the first time he's disrupted your peace using an unknown number and it isn't the first time you answer despite knowing you shouldn't.

maybe in another life you'll have better self control.

(your masturbation session will have to wait.)

before you even get a word out, he's already cutting you off. "pet. didn't wake ya, did i?"

insufferable fucking man. "you know what time it is. what do you want, Simon? here i thought blocking both your number and johnny's would get the point across." you hope your tone conveys the weariness better on his end than it did on yours.

he merely hums, a disinterested noise that ripples through the phone. you're tempted to hang up but you know the script. he'll just call. again. and again. and again.

"were ya watchin' our video again?" heat spreads up from your neck to the soft of your cheeks. there's no way he knew what you were doing before picking up. pure mortifying happenstance.

"i was." a tight breath warms the inner side of your wrist. he's always been a straight shooter which on him is both a strength and a flaw, and right now, with the way his voice carries over the phone, it's your weakness. good thing he's not here to notice the way you squeeze your thighs together.

"'nd it got me to thinkin' on how sweet you'd been then, bleary eyed 'nd pliant beneath me," your lower stomach burns white-hot, knowing the exact type of filth he likes to talk when he's in this kind of mood, "how thin i had your pussy stretched 'round me."

your core pulses at the memory of him resting against the firm seal of your womb, his work-worn palm pressing your stomach, as if trying to feel himself from the outside. (maybe he could, maybe he couldn't, you wouldn't know. not when he had you sitting on his lap as his own personal cock sleeve for longer than you deemed necessary. you'd been incoherent then.)

with liquid heat flowing through your veins, prickling at your fingertips, burning behind your eyelids, doing what he says next had never been easier.

"take your shorts off 'touch tha' pretty pussy f'me."

(you'd disconnected all the cameras in your room except for the one you didn't know was there. he's gotta keep a sharp eye on what's his, yknow? of course not, how could you? as far as you're concerned, he's just coincidentally calling when your hand is weaving downward to rub the little bundle of nerves between your legs with a home video he'd recorded of him fucking you stupid one tipsy night playing on your phone.)

[bahablastplz]

All in | Chapter 3

pairing: Lee Felix x f!reader (mafia au)

summary: You didn't know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Yang Jungwon, notorious mafia boss. Your life gets flipped upside down when you're found beaten and bloody by SKZ, the rival mafia group, and you're quickly integrated into their lives. What will happen when you try to leave your old life behind and start anew?

chapter summary: you escape and face the consequences of your actions

warnings: please see series masterlist for all warnings

series masterlist ~~ series taglist ~~ main masterlist

<< previous ♡ next >>

It’s cold outside, you think, and you wish you had brought a little more thought to your choice in outfit because the shirt you’re wearing does little to protect your skin from the harsh wind. You regret not finding something a little thicker, something with longer sleeves perhaps when you had raided the wardrobe earlier. You were searching for comfort, not practicality, and now that decision was coming to bite you in the ass. 

Your body carries you through the wooded area surrounding the house, brambles scratching at your arms and drawing blood. You thank your body for pumping out adrenaline once again, protecting you from feeling too much pain. You’re not sure if you’ve ever run this hard or this fast in your entire life, the burning in your lungs evident that maybe you should have focused a bit more on staying in shape. Your shoes were definitely not made for running and you add it to the list of things to curse yourself for later. 

The pavement under your feet is different from the mushy grass surrounding the SKZ base and you find yourself trying not to connect your feet as hard to the ground to make up for it, lest the burning in your legs slow you down. Wait… pavement? You slow, coming to a stop to allow yourself a moment to view your surroundings and catch your breath. 

You notice you're in the city, albeit a deserted part of it that you don't recognize. Looking left and right, you decide to go in the direction of the faded city lights. At every car that passes you hold your breath and try to sink into the bushes, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible just in case Chan is in one of the vehicles. 

Salvation comes to you in the form of a gas station, seemingly devoid of any life. As you near close, you let out a sigh of relief when you see the blinking ‘open’ sign. One person mans the register, a man in his mid-30s that doesn’t seem to pay you any mind. He smells like cigarettes and whiskey but even so you can’t find it in you to be displeased. 

“Excuse me, sir,” you say, saccharine sweet. “Do you have a phone I could borrow?” The first thing you would like to do is give your sister a phone call, to let her know you’re on the way.

“You have to buy something first,” he replies instantly, not even bothering to look up from his newspaper. 

You freeze. “But… I don't have any money.” It's the truth. God knows where your phone and wallet are; you haven’t had either since you started dating Jungwon and became dependent on him for everything. 

“That's not my problem,” he says. You take a deep breath to ground yourself, inhaling the aroma of hot dogs and nacho cheese. A slushie machine whirls behind you, reds and blues that could be impossibly easy to get lost in. 

“Listen sir, I've had a rough couple of days, and I don't know where I am, and I would really appreciate it if–” 

“No, you listen, brat,” he spits the word out, finally slamming his paper down and shooting you a nasty glare. “I don't give a damn who you are, either buy something or get the Hell out of my store before I call the cops.” 

You feel inclined to listen and book it out of here but you realistically don’t have many other options. You ignore the tears threatening to spill from your lash line. If he won’t let you use the phone, the least you could do is try to figure out where you are. 

“Um… okay, how far is Second Street from here?” 

“Least three miles.” 

“Three miles? Okay. What about downtown?” 

“Still at least an hour walk.” 

“Shit, okay. Have a nice night, sir,” you say, but you don’t mean it and he doesn't deserve it. You walk out of the store nonetheless, walking on the abandoned sidewalk in the direction of the city. Your body aches and you’re not sure how far you’ve walked when you hear voices in front of you. 

There’s three men. One of them sways back and forth as he walks, obviously inebriated. Fuck. You keep your eyes glued to the sidewalk and your pace quickens, hoping that a lack of engagement will increase your luck. Maybe, just maybe for once in your life you’ll get a free pass here. Of course that doesn’t happen. 

“Hey, pretty thang. What's a girl like you doing all by yourself this late at night?” The man nudges his friend, the noticeably drunker one. 

“I don't want any trouble,” you mumble, pushing forward. 

A large unwelcoming hand reaches out to grab your wrist and you shout out in pain. Broken. Despite the ice and bandage wrapped around your appendage, your wrist is still broken. 

“What wash that? I think she said she wantshta show ush a good time!” He slurs, and anxiety settles in the pit of your stomach. You’re starting to get really tired of the feeling. 

“Let me go, please!” Your other hand gripped the offender’s, placing it over his tight grasp. 

You're shoved to the ground, knees scraping against the sidewalk. Your breath is caught in your throat, and the scene is all too familiar. 

“Come on bunny, don't you want to play?” A hand grips around your throat, and you feel like prey. How they managed to find the parts of you that were weak and vulnerable, you had no clue. Men like this just had a knack for being awful like that. A hand snakes in your hair and grabs tight, and you’re reminded of just days ago being in this exact situation. 

“Look, she’s crying!” one of them coos. You let out a loud sob and think, God, I’m going to die here. How you always have a knack for making wrong decisions, you’ll never know. 

“Let her go.” Your eyes shoot open when you hear a familiar deep voice. Instead of being filled with fear at finally being caught, you can’t help but to feel relieved. 

“Felix!” you cry out. You try to crane your head to look at him but the man’s grip on your hair is too tight. 

“Let her go? Why? We were having a good time!” One of them laughs and you feel his grip on you tighten. You whimper in pain. “Do you wanna join in?” 

Felix doesn’t say anything, but you hear a soft, mechanical clicking sound. It’s too silent and you’re afraid that you know the reason why. Your eyes stay closed but you’re free, suddenly. As you begin to fall you brace to hit the concrete but you’re surprised when you don’t. A warm and steady arm wraps around your middle and you relax into Felix as the men scamper away. 

“He's fucking crazy, man. The bitch isn't worth it.” And like that, they are gone. You allow yourself to glance down at Felix and the gun he is holding, but you aren't intimidated anymore. He has gotten rid of the real threat. 

“Are you hurt?” He asks, not looking at you. You swallow, hating to be the target of his disappointment. The gun is put away and forgotten about and you slump out his grasp and onto the concrete. You shake your head at him, trying to indicate that you are okay, you’re not seriously hurt, but you can tell he doesn’t believe you. Instead he ushers you into a car that you hadn’t even noticed had appeared, obviously too caught up in the situation at hand. He opens the door for you and you climb in, noticing that he sits in the passenger seat, not the driver’s. You furrow your brow until you recognize Hyunjin in the driver’s seat, tapping furiously on the wheel. On your left you recognize the broad frame as Changbin, who seems to be more distressed than anyone else in the car. You hope for silence, but once again, you can never be so lucky. 

“How do you always manage to get yourself into such trouble?” Hyunjin laughs. He irritates you to no end, always so sure of himself and full of it. “First Jungwon, us, and now these thugs? Do you have a knack for finding trouble or does trouble find you?” You notice Felix tense, and you decide staying in silence is probably better to not irritate the men further. You look out the window instead as the car speeds off. 

Hyunjin continues, “Normally Chan would want us to blindfold you if we were taking you back to our place, but he told us not to bother this time. He seems incessant that there’s no reason to.” Does he ever shut up? “Expect for him to be pissed. He knew you were going to leave, though.” 

Now that was enough to break your silence. 

“He knew?” you ask, incredulous. 

“Of course. It was a test, after all. To see where your loyalties lie, if he threatens you and tells you not to escape, you’re much more likely to leave right after because you think you can get away with it.” Shit. Now you feel dumb. But instead of letting on, you scoff and turn your head back to the window, finding the view much more interesting. You’re shivering still from the cold despite the heat pumping through the air vents. Felix wordlessly takes off his coat and hands it to you, and while you want to be proud and reject the offer you can’t help but want for this chill in your bones to go away. His jacket is warm and you can smell the trace of his cologne, floral, like jasmine yet earthy.  

You couldn’t have been in the car for more than ten minutes, and you curse yourself, realizing that you really didn’t get as far as you thought. 

Then, you approach a long driveway, adorned with a large iron gate that would intimidate anyone that made it to this part of the city, encased in grime and rust that’s indicative of its age. The car drives down the winding roads with familiarity which puts you at ease and keeps you from feeling nauseous, which you feel grateful for. When you arrive at the front of the house, you are finally given the opportunity to take a look at where you have been staying, as previous circumstances hadn’t allowed you to do so. 

The exterior of the house is a little dreary, the age of the cracked brick and marble noticeable. Even in the dark you could tell everything else is well-taken care of, well-trimmed shrubbery and flower beds surprising you. You don’t get as much time to look around as you would like, though you do notice the sheer size of the house as you follow the men up the gravel pathway. Large front doors open up and you’re guided inside. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You and Felix walk in silence to your room. You’re almost ashamed to meet his eye. 

“How did you know where to find me?” you finally ask. 

“I came to bring you this,” he says, gesturing to what he had been holding. A hard brace for your wrist. “When I came to your room and you weren’t there, I panicked. You couldn’t have gotten far, but we jumped in the car right away.” 

“But… What about what Hyunjin said?” You ask. Meanwhile he starts to unwrap the bandage on your wrist, revealing the very swollen and purple affected area. You wince slightly. 

“About it being a test? I wouldn’t be surprised, you’re probably in deep shit with Chris.” He says. You notice that he uses a nickname when referring to the man but you don’t say anything. He pulls out a first aid kit and starts to sanitize the surface of your skin and it stings more than you’d like to admit. Still, he does so delicately, making sure his fingers don’t press onto your injury too harshly. “I didn’t think you would leave,” he admits. “It was really stupid, you do realize that, right? I was just… really hoping you would be smarter than that.” 

You scoff. “Stupid, got it. I’m sorry that I didn’t want to stay trapped with the mafia, but I saw my opportunity. I have a life out there I want to get back to! I can’t stay here for the rest of my life.” 

“That may be true, but you won’t have a life to get back to if you’re killed the moment you leave,” he points out. “I’m not trying to be malicious, but you have a huge target on your back. Even if it’s not Jungwon who comes for you, you’re affiliated with ENHA. People who are not as kind as we are will see you as a way to get to him and they’ll kill you in cold blood.” He delicately places the new brace onto your wrist, strapping it shut tight. You try not to think about how his touch lingers on your skin, that you can still feel where he touched you and how it makes your face heat up. Instead you try to flex your wrist to test the brace, finding that it provides enough support for you not to move it too intensely. Felix hums in approval. 

“Come with me,” he says. He takes you to the bathroom and gestures for you to sit on the toilet lid. You do, looking up at him inquisitively. You see that he has brought the first aid kit with him and he’s keen on tending to your other injuries. 

“I just don’t understand,” you say, breaking the silence. He takes an antiseptic wipe and starts to wipe away scratches on your head. “Just… Why do you care if I live or die?” 

“That’s a tough one,” he says. You can’t tell if he’s joking. “I guess you can say I don’t like Yang Jungwon. Our feud with them has lasted for several years and he’s just a nuisance. He kills people in cold blood and is remorseless. I’m sure you’ve seen it first hand just how manipulative he can be, and we really just want to make sure that he doesn’t do anything to undermine us. That being said, you’re a benefit to SKZ. I know you might not see it yet, but you might be the ticket we need to finally one-up them. If you’re dead then we’re back to an even playing field.” 

“What about the infiltration? Don’t you have plans with Lee Know?” you ask. 

“Oh, Minho? He’s a very skilled person, he excels at this kind of thing. We’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while and we finally have an opportunity to do so. I hear that they’re planning to start up an underground drug-ring, something that would put us both in the public eye more than we want. Minho is going to try to find out what he can about it and then we can proceed.” 

Felix bends down, kneeling before you. Your breath hitches before you can think about it; it’s not fitting for someone who looks so majestic to be below you, you think. 

He starts to clean the scrapes on your knees. They’re bloody and raw from your fall and you’re only now starting to feel the aftereffects from it. You’re grateful that he’s taking the time to tend to your injuries, scanning your entire body from head to toe until he’s content. “You’re too good for all of this,” he finally says. “Someone like you should have never gotten involved in our lifestyle. You have so much potential, I can just see it. How did you even get stuck in this life?” The question is so intimate that it takes you a moment to process that he asked it. 

“I didn’t know who he was when I started dating him,” you admit. “Like you said, he’s manipulative. He’s mastered the art of deception. When I met him, he was charming and sweet, you know? It feels dumb to say, but by the time he admitted to me he was part of the mafia, I was head over heels in love with him. By the time I realized that the Jungwon I knew was just a facade it was too late, he caused me to completely rely on him for everything. I lost everything, Felix.” He nods in understanding, looking up at you before he stiffens. 

“Your neck… Did he do that, too?” he asks. There’s no judgment in his voice. You realize that the makeup you applied so diligently before must have completely rubbed off by now. You sigh. 

“Yeah. The night Chan found me, Jungwon and I got into a fight. It was my fault, but he threatened me, and it got physical, and…” 

“I don’t know what happened, but I severely doubt it could have been your fault,” he says. You decide not to divulge the details of your argumentThis is the first time you have admitted the situation out loud, and you feel very vulnerable. For some reason, you really want to tell Felix, despite the tears threatening to spill from your lashes. 

“He knocked me unconscious outside of the club, and when I woke up, I was here.” He finishes bandaging up your injuries and he stands, stretching his back and popping his joints. There’s blood on his white dress shirt. Your blood, though you don’t remember how it got there. 

“When you left tonight, where were you planning to go? You weren’t going–” 

“Not back to him, God no. Um… I have a sister, I was just trying to get in touch.” He seems content with your answer. You wonder if he’s just going to relay all of that information back to Chan. You feel like a weight has been lifted off of your chest, though, so you can’t really bring yourself to care. 

“I don’t know how long you’re going to be here. But for now, this is the safest place for you. So, try not to do anything else that’s stupid.” He turns to the door to leave, but you find yourself calling out. 

“Felix?” He halts and his eyes meet yours as you call his name. “Thank you.” There’s a lot of meaning to convey with just two words, but you hope you get your point across; thank you, for saving my life, for talking with me, for treating my wounds. He seems to understand. He graces you with a small smile before leaving 

You take a minute to breathe and look at yourself in the mirror. You are definitely not the same person you were two days ago. You smile at the reflection of yourself that has been beaten and bruised, and you hardly recognize her. You open the door to retreat to your bedroom for the night, but are shocked by what you see. 

For the second time in one night, Bang Christopher Chan sits on your bed, waiting expectantly. 

“We need to talk,” he says. 

He looks pissed. His glare sends shivers straight up your spine, and it takes everything for you to not break down and cry on the spot. It makes you feel guilty for everything that happened tonight, but you have to shake that thought. You were justified, you need to stand strong. You sit on the bed next to him without him gesturing for you to do so, as it feels like what he wants. You aren’t stupid enough to disobey him again. 

You look him in the eye. 

“I’d like to think I’m a kind person,” he says. “I don’t ask much of you–”

“I’m sorry,” you interrupt. 

“Speak when spoken to. I won’t tell you again.” He clears his throat. “I don’t ask much of you. In fact, I gave you just two, simple, commands that you couldn’t be bothered to follow. Do not contact Yang Jungwon, and do not leave. What did you do?” He looks at you but you stay silent. “Answer.” 

“I left.” 

“That’s right. You must be pretty stupid, Y/N. Stupid enough to somehow end up here, and even more stupid to disobey me. I knew you were going to try to push your luck,” he says. “Explain yourself.” 

“I…” you gulp. You decide honesty is the best way to go about this. “I got scared. I know you told me not to leave and I didn’t listen, and I truly apologize but I remembered how trapped I felt when I was with Jungwon, and, well… the prospect of staying here for the rest of my life really really scared me.  I wanted to see my sister and tell her I’m alright. My phone is gone, and she probably thinks I’m dead. I envisioned a world where I  never got to see her again and make things right, and I thought this would be my only chance.” 

He sits in silence for a moment, contemplating. “This will be the last time I extend such kindness to you,” he says slowly. “From here on, I want your complete loyalty to me and the rest of SKZ.I will ensure your safety from ENHA and any potential threat. For now, that’s all you need. If you try to undermine me one more time, I will make sure you never see your sister again. Take that any way you want.” He stands. 

“Hyunjin said that this was a test,” you say cautiously. “Are you going to punish me?” 

“I thought I made myself very clear that there would be consequences to your actions,” he says. “I will go lightly on you, just this time. I’m being very nice, just so you are aware: I am not usually known by others as a kind person.” He sighs. “Pick a number between one and ten.” 

“Um… five?” you say, trying to play it safe and pick a number that’s not too high and not too low. His hands slide down to his waistband, unbuckling his belt and taking it out of the loops. 

“Lift your shirt up and turn around.” 

You do, with shaky hands, turn around and lift your shirt up so just your back is revealed to Chan. You don’t protest, worrying that that could somehow make things worse. 

You steady your breath and brace for impact. 

Thwack. 

One time, Chan’s leather belt comes down and hits the skin of your back hard. It’s obvious he has no intention of holding back and it stings; you bite down on your bottom lip to suppress your cries. 

Thwack. 

The second time, just as hard. 

Five times Chan hits you hard with your belt and you can’t hold back your tears any longer, though you do stay strong in the decision to not let him see them. After the fifth hit, you stand and pull down your shirt. 

“Rest up,” he tells you. “Tomorrow you’ll meet everyone else.” 

It’s stupid of you to think about, but you practically disregarded the fact that there are other members you have not met yet. You’re not entirely looking forward to it, though you don’t say so.  

“Does everyone know?” you ask him just as he’s about to leave. “Does everyone know that I’m associated with Jungwon?” 

“Everyone knows,” he confirms. “I trust my group implicitly. I felt no need to hide it from them, though at this point I don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of.” You nod your head at the information, lost in thought. 

Then Chan leaves and you’re finally alone. When you lie down in bed you finally take note of how your body feels after all this time. Every muscle aches and you can’t lay down on your back and once again you ignore the incessant throbbing in your skull. When you lay down in the bed to sleep, it’s on the comfiest, most luxurious mattress that you’ve ever laid on. You stare at the wall until you drift off with a dreamless yet peaceful sleep.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

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[nightlyrequiem]

Crawl to Me

The world ended long ago. Now belonging to the undead that roam it, feeding on the last surviving people. You've learned to avoid the rotters. You have a past with one and like when she was alive, she's not willing to let you escape so easily.

New Part Every Thursday

Masterlist AO3

A/N- I was actually working on an apocalyptic fic in June, but I genuinely couldn't figure out how to progress the story in an interesting way. I still want to write one though because I'm a slut for apocalypse stories. This ones kind of lengthy. Like 2800 words

Tags/Warnings: Undead Valeria, No Use of the Word 'Zombie', Apocalypse, Gore, Stalking, WLW, Implied But Also In Your Face Toxic Relationship

The world ended eight months ago. A disease thawed from the melting glaciers and ravaged through the living population faster than it could control. Hospitals were overrun and the government declared a state of emergency. You weren't to leave your homes for anything. Rations were to be dropped off by authorized personal. They followed all the proper protocols and procedures, and it wasn't enough.

"Do you think this is expired?" A woman asks. She's rooting through a pile of canned food while you and a man keep a watch out. The infected are more active at night. A quick acting evolutionary behavior to avoid the scorching heat of the Mexican sun, to preserve the decaying host for longer.

"No." The man replies, voice deep and buttery. "Canned food can last for years past it's expiry date."

Something moves outside, kickstarting your heart. Some infected still wander out during the day. Your hands are sweating, making it hard to hold the gun. Valeria tried to teach you how to hold a gun once. You were never comfortable around them though. You peer outside, ears too sensitive in the unnatural quiet. A thin stray dog runs past the window. Clumps of fur missing from mange. You relax. Rotters will attack and eat any animal they catch but so far, you haven't seen any animals actually get infected with the disease. You shudder at the idea of running from a pack of infected strays. Their frothing jaws hung open, breath sour with illness. Sinking their teeth into the soft flesh of your thigh.

"Hurry it up, Grace." The man growls. He was a military officer; despite that he has no patience. You don't care for him. He reminds you of Valeria.

Grace shoves cans into her duffel bags. Filling them so much that she struggles with the zipper.

"If you want this to be faster then maybe you should be doing this, Rojan." She growls. Hoisting the heavy bags up and adjusting them on her shoulders. Rojan doesn't reply. Just stares out the window stoically. On the other side of the small supermarket, another man looks through magazines instead of being useful. Holding them up in the sparse light to leer at the women on the pages.

You and your small group move on. Exiting the store. The sun is hot and unforgiving. The ground beneath your feet is dry and cracked. Only the toughest of weeds able to grow from the pavement.

"What are we going to do for shelter?" Grace asks. Walking alongside Rojan. You lag behind, at the tail end of the group just behind the man who was looking at magazines instead of finding food. He turns and glances at you. Sizing you up. Both you and Grace have made it very clear you're not interested. Though there's a lack of women around and he hasn't quite given up yet.

He slows his pace to walk beside you. Hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. It makes you sweat just looking at him.

"We might have to sleep outside tonight." He says. You wish he wouldn't talk to you.

"No we won't." You reply with disinterest. "Rojan would never make us camp outside." It's just simply too dangerous.

"Well," He starts. "If we do you and I could share a spot to keep warm."

You roll your eyes. It gets absurdly cold at night but even then, you'd rather kiss a rotter than cuddle up to him. "Pass, Arthur." 

Arthur doesn't seem perturbed by your prickly nature.

"It's not like you'd lose anything by being with me for a night." He argues. Up ahead, Grace and Rojan are deep in conversation, heads close together. You wish you could join them instead of being stuck with Arthur.

"I'm a lesbian." You grit out. Even if you weren't, you still wouldn't touch Arthur.

He pauses and you start relaxing, assuming he's going to back off. "Why does that matter?" He asks. "I'm not asking for a relationship; you don't have to be attracted to me to sleep with me."

"Arthur!" Grace barks, turning her head to scowl at him. He looks up at her. "Cut that shit out, she's not interested. I'm not interested, nobody here is interested."

Arthur considers her and moves away from you silently. You give Grace a thankful nod.

Night begins to fall. Your legs ache with each step as you walk, the bag on your back feels like it gained ten extra pounds. Finally, Rojan slows to a stop outside of a small house. The windows have been broken but boards fill in the empty space. The screen door swings in the slight wind, creaking as it does. Weeds and tall grass have dominated the small front yard and somewhere hidden within, flies buzz loudly. Congregating over something dead.

"We'll stay here for the night." Rojan says. He looks at each of you. Pointing at you and Arthur. "Help me make sure it's clear." 

You slowly creep inside. The interior is just as rundown as the outside. A dank, musty smell coats the damp-stained walls and fungus pops up from dark corners. You walk by the living room and startle. In the corner, facing the wall is a rotter. It's back turned to you. The skin is flayed and painful looking. Deep gashes litter it's skin. It's stationary. Unmoving apart from a slight sway. 

You don't know if you should risk making noise shooting it. You look to the front of you as Rojan disappears around the corner. You frown and look back at the rotter. A bullet would be loud and might wake and draw any dormant rotters in the area. You slowly holster your gun and unsheathe your hunting knife. Approaching the rotter like a predator. Remembering what Rojan taught you. Sweep out the legs - which won't be hard considering how emaciated they look - and quickly stab into the temple. You take another step, and the floor loudly creaks under your weight. You and the rotter both go still. The lax swaying coming to an abrupt halt.

You wait, heart beating in your ears. The seconds feel long but the rotter never turns, and you resume your creeping. You come right up behind it and recoil at the smell. Unwashed body mixed with overripe fruit, sickly and decaying. You shake your head and build up your courage. Finally, you kick out it's legs and ignore the very human grunt. Grabbing one side of it's head, you stab your knife into the soft spot in it's temple, cutting of the beginning of a shrill squeal. It drops, becoming dead weight in your arms. You lower it to the grown and let it drop.

The small home is cleared just in time for the sun to begin setting. The group sits in the living room. Silent and eating. Even Arthur is keeping his mouth shut. As the sky darkens, the sound of shuffling gets louder. The rotters have awoken. A few of them call out eerie pleas for help. That's what disturbs you the most; the mimicking. Back at the start you had mistakenly opened your door, assuming the woman crying for help on the other side was human. She wasn't. You had been tackled to the floor trying to fight her off. A lucky shove sent her flying into the table, snapping her neck and stunning her enough for you to bash her head in. You don't respond to calls for help anymore.

You have first watch. Your eyes droop and you fight hard to keep them open. Grace's soft snoring does nothing to help you. You're leaning against the wall. Your name gets called, startling you awake. Your heart throbs in your chest as you listen, ears ringing from the silence. Were you hallucinating? It doesn't come again. A few footsteps sound close to the boarded-up window. Maybe one of the rotters said something that sounded like your name. That's what you decide but it freaks you out enough to keep you awake.

Your group moves on promptly at sunrise. Most of the rotters having hidden themselves in shadows and buildings to hibernate for the day. It's another scorcher. Sweat wets your brow as you walk, legs aching from fatigue. Your tired stumbling reminds you of the rotters.

"Water." Arthur says. Rojan reaches into the side of his pack for the communal water bottle without stopping and holds it out behind him. Arhtur takes it and you watch him carefully from the corner of your eye to make sure he isn't taking too much. Water is a valuable commodity. Getting drinkable water is a hassle. If you can't find any bottled water stashed somewhere, you have to boil some from rivers. You lag behind a little. Overheating and exhausted from having to stay up all night.

You halt as you hear movement beside you. Your group progresses on, leaving you behind as you stare into the shadowy alley. Not a brick is out of place. You hurry your steps and catch up with your group. You're just tired and paranoid.

You sit with your back to your front door as Valeria pounds on it. Shaking the weak wood with every hit.

"Open the fucking door!" She yells. You put your head down and cover your ears, every single limb fizzling with nervous energy. You and Valeria have had a... tumultuous relationship. On and off, fighting, making up. You finally called it off for good and denied her when she tried to win you back. Valeria's never been able to leave you alone though.

She hits the door again.

"Please, mi vida, open the door." Her voice softens. It's forced. 

"Go away, Valeria!" You yell back, worried she'll break down the door. You don't know what she'll do if she makes it inside and that scares you.

"For fuck's sake!" She snarls, dropping the nice act. "I'm going to fucking kill you if you don't open this door!"

You shut your eyes and count. Trying to calm yourself down.

The faded red door and empty flowerpots are uncomfortably familiar. You feel an overwhelming sense of foreboding. Unfortunately for you, Rojan deems it suitable. He and Grace clear it and you and Arthur enter once they confirm it's empty. You cast a glance at the decayed woman on the floor, head mashed to a pulp. You're disturbed to find chunks missing from her. The other's congregate in the living room but you wander down the hall and take a left. Pushing open the closed door. The bedroom is full of dirt and dust. The curtains nothing but moth-eaten tatters now. You wander to the nightstand and lower yourself down to your knees, the carpet damp and spongy. You reach under and pull out a box, running your fingers over the gold trim. Clearing dust off the lid. You open it and pull things out. Birthday cards, baby teeth. Polaroids. You and Valeria smile up from the picture tauntingly. She has a firm grip on your waist, keeping you pressed against her.

Flowers get shoved in your face, startling you out of your skin. You stare at Valeria like a deer in headlights. Behind her lurks two dangerous looking men. Protection or intimidation? You can guess which.

"I'm sorry." Valeria murmurs, forcing you to take the flowers. "I know you're upset but I also know you're not done with me. Just stop with this little angry act and take me back."

"What? No." You frown. "Valeria, we are not good together."

Valeria ignores your words and grabs your arms gently. "I love you." She says, looking at you intensely. "I love you so much that it makes me sick. It makes me angry. You did this to me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We are it for each other, why can't you understand that?"

You put the picture back down and hide it under a few others. Ones without Valeria in them. It's all history and at the end of the world, history means nothing. You join the others as they finish up their meal of canned sausage. You don't ask for any, no longer having an appetite. You're still exhausted though. Settling yourself on your couch. It's filthy but you still gleam a small sense of comfort from it. It doesn't take you long to drift off. Lulled by the quiet chattering of your companions.

You aren't sure what woke you first. The shattering of glass, or Grace's panicked curse. Nobody remains a heavy sleeper when there's a constant threat outside. The whole group is startled awake. It doesn't take long for the rushed steps of the rotters to be heard. You freeze. Watching as Grace shoots one but gets tackled by another. Filthy teeth sink into her throat. Both Arthur and Rojan aim and take down a few. One of the rotters slinks in-between them and heads right towards you. You're horrified to see Valeria's face glaring back at you. She barrels right into you, crushing you under her weight and pinning you down to the couch. You feel bile stinging your throat.

You slam into the floor as Valeria slams the door shut in your face. Your body is already on overdrive and in your adrenaline induced haze you decide Valeria did that on purpose. It doesn't help that she immediately crowds you. Her warm hands latching onto you, her smell overwhelming you.

"Get off!" You hiss, kicking at her.

"I'm sorry." She growls. Maneuvering you onto your back. You can't move, you can't leave. You're trapped in this stressful situation. A claustrophobic panic kicks in. "I didn't mean to hurt you, but you can't run out every time you argue - stop struggling!" Valeria says with anger.

"You're hurting me right now!" You try to wrench yourself away from her but only end up pulling a muscle.

"You cannot leave me." She replies, sounding hurt and desperate. Her tone scares you more than anything. "I'm sorry, just stop struggling and we can talk, please."

The sound of flesh tearing is seared into your memory. The screaming stopped after only a few seconds, but you think you'll remember it for the rest of your left. Valeria keeps you crushed under her firmly. The reek of decay permeates through the air. It's so thick you worry you'll get infected just breathing in. Through a gap in her limbs, you watch the rotters in a frenzy. Ripping your group apart like animals. Something cold caresses the side of your neck, startling you. It's Valeria running her fingers along your neck. She says your name. Voice distorted and growly. It sounds like it hurts to speak.

A salty tear rolls down your cheek as you stare blankly at the massacre. Grace's head bobs slightly as a rotter feeds on her intestines. Her eyes stare back at you lifelessly.

The wood trembles.

"Open the fucking door!"

You raise your head from your hands and look at the wall, you don't know what to do. The pounding stops. Valeria's voice is muffled but clearly aggressive as she speaks to someone.

"You're sick." She exclaims, disgusted... and afraid. "Fuck. Open the door." She repeats. Valeria doesn't sound angry anymore, she sounds urgent. "Open the door, someone sick is staring me down, open the door now." 

You've never heard her sound frightened before. This disease is frightening though. You haven't seen one of the sick in person before but just the symptoms were enough to scare you.

A bite or bodily fluid was all it took. Doctors said incubation was from anywhere between an hour to three days. It started with a fever, intense mood swings, violent behavior, thirst and hunger. Sores sprouted up on the body. Eventually they would pustulate and then rot. Then the virus made it's way through the brainstem and effectively killed the frontal lobe while triggering the amygdala. Turning the host into an animal. Valeria calls your name.

"Please open this door, I know you're mad at me, but you can't leave me out here with that thing." 

You're very tempted to open the door but you can't move. You're frozen to the spot.

"Get back!" Valeria snaps. Startling you. "Take another step and I'll shoot you."

The infected care not for the threat of a gun. Shots are fired, loud and earsplitting. Something hard thumps to the ground and Valeria screams.

You feel sick.

"I know you're mad at me, please open this door." She whispers into your hair. Every second you wait for her to bite. To tear into your vulnerable flesh, but she doesn't. "I didn't mean to hurt you, please open this door." Valeria brushes her face against your cheek. Something wet transferring onto yours. "I'm sorry, it makes me sick. I love you." Valeria tightens her grip on you. Shielding you from the horror in the living room. After being infected and dying she tracked you down. She got rid of the only people you had left. There is nowhere you could hide that she wouldn't find you. Dead or alive, she's yours.

[borathae]

↳ Index [Snippet #42 - Soul Healer]

“When Jungkook is the best remedy against the worries of a shitty day.”

Genre: married life!AU, domestic Fluff

Warnings: OC had a shitty day, Kookie is the best hubby ever, he knows exactly what to do to cheer her up

Wordcount: 2.1k

a/n: this couple will always bring me comfort. i love them so much, you guys can't even imagine. enjoy besties ehehe🧡

You are having a shit day. Not a bad day or a terrible day, not even an awful day. No, a shit day. A completely and utterly shitty ass day. 

Everything which could have gotten wrong at the restaurant went wrong, you had to deal with ten entitled rude bricks today and you have been hungry throughout most of your shift because you had the brilliant idea to leave without breakfast today. Till this hour you ask yourself why the fuck you did that. 

Your lovely, amazing, beautiful husband Jungkook had a free day today. Which meant he stayed home, cleaning and gardening. He also did the laundry eventhough it was your turn this week. He loves laundry, so he didn’t see it as annoying. 

Jungkook is rolling up to the restaurant an hour before closing. Like he promised back then when he rescued you from this really scary man. He never breaks his promises. Only when sickness keeps him in bed and even then, there was this one time where he wanted to come pick you up with a forty degree fever. Truly, he is the best and most stubborn husband ever.

He drove you to work today, wishing you a good day which sadly didn’t happen. You had a shit day. 

Jungkook parks his bike in front of the restaurant and gets off skilfully. You are by the entrance, watching him through the windows. He is wearing his black gear today, taking off his helmet smoothly. He shakes out his hair, combing his fingers through it afterwards. His bangs look flat because of the helmet, but you think he is still so incredibly cute. He looks up, meeting your eyes. 

His face lights up instantly, he lifts his arm to wave at you. You must admit that merely seeing him makes you feel a little better already.

You retort the wave with an honest smile, before returning to the task of closing up. Your guests left for the night, as did your workers, so you decide to lock up sooner than on other days. You don’t want to be at this stupid place any longer and because you are the owner you can decide when your shift is done. It’s done now. No more stupid ass work. 

You step outside, meeting Jungkook who has just this moment stopped running to you. He stops with a bounce.

“Hey baby”, he says, pulling you into a kiss with his arm around your waist. It is quite zestful, leaving you to stumble into him. You like when he is like that. It’s always very hot when he shows you just enough of his strength in a gentle manner. 

He steps back after the kiss, but keeps his hand on your lower back. 

“What are you doing? Are you already closing up? Fuck, did I miss the time?”

“No, you didn’t. I just didn’t wanna wait another hour. Just wanna be home. Did you cook?” 

Jungkook knows not to be offended by your snappish tone. Instead, he grows worried. 

“I did, yeah. What happened, darling? Did someone hurt you?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it. Can you drive me home now?”

“Of course.”

Jungkook drives you home. You like the time you share on his bike. You love the feeling of the cool evening air on your skin, love the fact that you can hug him and you especially love the moments where he stops at a red light and instantly begins rubbing your arm or knee. It’s those small gestures which count. 

Once home and the bike gear is shrugged off for the day, you leave for the bathroom. 

“I have to shower. Is dinner ready or can I go?”

“No, you can go. I waited with the finishing touches. Take your time sweetie, yeah?”

“Yeah, thank you.”

You greet Bam on your way to the bathroom. Seeing your dog really cheers you up as well and you enjoy a few lovely minutes petting him. You love this dog so much. 

Soon however, Bam runs off to play with his pet giraffe (the same one which was once so big next to him) while you continue your way to the upstairs bathroom. 

Washing off your shitty day helps a little, changing into your favourite lounge dress definitely helps and leaving the bedroom to the smell of finished dinner most definitely does. 

Jungkook prepared it outside on your back porch with some lemon candles burning to fight off mosquitoes. 

He is still in the kitchen, finishing up dinner. Bam is in the living room. 

“That smells amazing”, you say, hugging him from behind.

He leans into you. He is wearing a simple grey t-shirt and black jeans with a belt accentuating his waist. He dressed up. It’s hot that he did. 

“Mhm yeah”, he says.

You sway your bodies gently, giving his waist a tight squeeze.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you with my behaviour before”, you say honestly.

“You didn’t, baby”, he assures you, “I get it. You had a stressful day.”

“Yeah”, you say and smush your cheek against his back, “and I’m so hungry too. Today’s a shit day, seriously.”

“Poor baby”, he says, rubbing your arm, “you can look forward to the food. It’s gonna be amazing.”

“Mhm, I know it will be. What did you cook?”

“Corn soup and spicy buckwheat noodles. I know the combo is kinda weird, but I thought I’d bring out the soup as a last minute remedy.”

“Remedy?”

“You’re upset and the soup’s your favourite. It’ll cheer you up.”

You inhale deeply and kiss his back. He knows you so well.

“Thank you”, you say.

“Mhm”, he pats your hand, “go sit down, I’m bringing the food.”

You don’t have to be told twice. Jungkook follows with the food, serving it to you while you look at him. You are so in love with this man. 

He sits down on the chair next to you so you can talk. 

“Dig in”, he tells you and turns to his bowl of soup. You stop him before he can, having his cheeks in a gentle hold between your fingers so you can pull him into a kiss. He hums in surprise, but soon chuckles and kisses you back with a smile on his lips. 

You don’t really deepen the kiss as this was meant as a thank you. You still stub his nose with your own however. That much is mandatory. 

“You’re the best person ever”, you whisper, caressing his cheeks, “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“If it helps you, I’ll gladly do it. Actually, I’ll do it even if it doesn’t really help. Just want you to feel better. Did that make sense? Can something even make you feel better when it doesn’t help?”

You chuckle because of him. He is so endearing.

“It helps me. I already feel a lot better. I guess. Just-”, you release a loud sigh, sagging your shoulders as you send him a defeated pout. He takes your hand.

“What’s up? Tell me.”

“Can I really?”

“Of course. That’s what I’m here for you. Just tell me what you need. A listener or advisor?”

You love him so much. He is asking the right questions. You love this man so much.

“Listener. Just need to rant.”

“I can do that. Tell me everything.”

And so you do. You tell him every single thing which went wrong today and Jungkook reacts to all of it with comradery complaints and gasps. You tell him about all the rude assholes you had to deal with and Jungkook calls them names until you can’t help but giggle. You also bring up the stuff again which you already complained about, but which still bugs you and Jungkook reacts with just as much enthusiasm as the first time. 

And once you have finally finished your long rant, the corn soup is finished and you are halfway done with the noodles.

You haven’t said anything new for five minutes. Jungkook knows that it is safe to change the topic now. 

“How are the noodles, baby? Can you tell a difference?”

“I can, yeah. They taste nuttier. What did you do?”

“I added one more spoon of perilla oil. I think it’s really bringing it together. Don’t you think?”

“Definitely. I really like this recipe. You thought of something yummy.”

“Thank you. Although, I think that I can do even better next time. I’ll try a better ratio of seaweed and noodles. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.”

“Okay”, you say and pinch his cheek, “Mister Never Satisfied”, you say with a fond smile.

“Leave me alone”, he mumbles and pouts, “it’s a virgo thing, I can’t help it.” 

You chuckle, “ah yes, the stars are making you do it”, you tease.

“Hey”, he pouts harder. He even talks whinier, “I’m here for you in your troubles and suddenly I get bullied outta nowhere. That’s unfair.”

You laugh and lean in for a smooch to his cheek.

“I’m sorry. I was just teasing, I’m sorry if I genuinely upset you.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m not mad”, he assures you and chuckles, “it’s just not funny.”

“Okay”, you say in a snicker and move back to continue eating. You slurp up the noodles, humming agreement, “those are so good, baby. I’m serious. The soup was amazing too.”

Jungkook wiggles his shoulders and looks at his noodles with a boyish grin. He eats them with his grin growing and his chest fluttering in happiness. It makes him really happy when you like the food he is making for you. He can still remember the days where he didn’t even know how to cook ramen and now he’s cooking your favourite food for you and you genuinely love it. He feels like such an accomplished person, and like a true husband, when he can cook for you.

You get up to clean once you finished dinner. It’s a rule. The person who didn’t cook, cleans the kitchen. It’s a fair agreement.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook gasps, following you with widened eyes.

You stop in the doorway to inside, studying his features. He looks almost offended right now.

“Cleaning up. Why do you look so offended?”

“Because the hell?” he says and gets up. He hurries to you and almost rips the dirty plates out of your hands, “you don’t gotta clean tonight, that’s my job. Go sit your ass down on the couch and watch something”, he says sternly.

You chuckle, “okay, I see how it is. Shouldn’t I at least help you carry the pots inside?”

“No”, he insists loudly and his brows furrowing, “just sit down and relax.”

“Fine”, you give up and spank his butt gently, “you’re so stubborn.”

You are around twenty minutes into your show when Jungkook joins you on the couch. He kept the shirt on, but took off his pants. It’s cute. 

“Did you take off your pants?”

“Yeah, they were uncomfy”, he says and plops down next to you, “I thought I’d dress up, but then you didn’t even tell me that I’m handsome”, he says and adds in a murmur, “is really mean that you didn’t.”

You chuckle, studying his face.

“What? I’m serious”, he says and pouts.

“Gosh baby”, you get out and close the distance between you and him to smooch his cheek. You are hugging him as you do, looking at him with fond eyes, “I’m sorry. Of course you were handsome. You still are”, you say, swaying him from side to side, “my handsome hubby.”

Jungkook smiles, “nice. You’re so pretty too”, he says, making you chuckle fondly.

“Thank you”, you say and peck his cheek one last time before you cuddle into him. You rest your head on his chest while he rubs his hand up and down your arm. You feel so safe in his embrace. He is like your very own cocoon of comfort you can return to after a long day. 

You take a deep breath and exhale through your nose, running your hand up and down his tummy.

“I love you, Kook”, you tell him, tilting your head up.

He meets your eyes and smiles softly, running the back of his hand down your cheek.

“I love you too, darling”, he says, leaning down to kiss the bridge of your nose. Your eyes fall closed, a smile curls your lips. After the kiss, he caresses your cheek once before returning to watching the show. And you settle against his chest to get lost in it with him. 

“This show’s so good”, you say.

“Yeah”, he agrees and laughs with you as something funny happens on screen.

You can have all the shitty days in the world, but at the end of them they don’t really matter because you have Jungkook to find comfort in.

[alonelywaterbottle]

*EDGE OF SLEEP SPOILERS*

Still spoilers…

You can’t complain if you got spoiled now

Bullet points cause I think I had a point but I clearly lost the plot at some point

I’ve seen some people complain about the differences between the podcast and the show, and I just wanna say that I love it! I like the friends grandma better than the weird homeless guy cause she brought more world building for the implications of what that world would look like.

There was absolutely a bunch of people that were forgotten about. Teens pulling all nighters, babies who probably woke up in the middle of the night just in time for no one to be awake to care for them. All the dogs awake but confused as to why their owners doors never opened again. It’s sad, it’s horrible, I made myself sad thinking about it just now. There were people left behind that never knew what was happening

I was so incredibly happy that Mateo survived. He was my favorite and I was so sad watching the show knowing it was coming, but it pleasantly surprised me. And in the podcast when it was just Linda and Dave it made me go “ah… great. Ooo only a girl and a guy left, how shocking.”

I am sad that the funniness of the guy in Dave’s dream asking for cigarettes was cut. But I likes the more monster vibes rather than the ‘mysterious jungle tribe and spirits’

(I know that we will probably get some of that back if cleared for season 2 but still)

Ultimately, I’m glad it wasn’t a 1 for 1 remake with no changes. And it never was going to be. Television and podcasts are two very different mediums and it’s wrong to expect it to be.

I also wish we could have had some more horror elements but I know the budget was limited (Dave’s dream sequence in episode 8 would have been cool but so hard to do effects for) and hopefully we get a season 2 with a higher Amazon budget.

I also really hope that people know that it isn’t only popular cause hot YouTube man was in it. I personally would have watched it even if Mark wasn’t in it, I’ve been following its production as much as I could ever since the tv show was announced and Mark was flown out to Canada to film. It’s popular cause hot YouTube man is a good actor, it was made by very talented people, and it’s a great story.

I don’t know what I’m saying anymore, I really liked the show and I binged it while at work. If we don’t get a season two I will be sad and disappointed that The Plan™ didn’t work. (I think it will work but I’m afraid of big daddy Amazon nuking it like Netflix-does-actual-good-original-series just because the industry is scared of anything outside their status quo)

Edge real hard Sleep real good

Watch the edge of sleep all day and then also at night horray

[etherealising]

chapter fourteen | your love is not too kind

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing(s): carmen ‘carmy’ berzatto x fem!reader

summary: you begin your hunt for a special surprise, while cortez and syd gang up on you. also an adventure between you and carmy ensues where you both receive advice from two very nosy old ladies, out of love of course. (honestly just a fun incoherent day with our two losers).

warning(s): angst | addiction | substance abuse | recovery | hopelessness | minimal editing | ooc carmy |

wc: 7.6k (thass a lot of filler)

The harsh cold of the Chicago air sporadically whipped across your face, the wind cut into the small patches of skin that weren’t covered by the scarf you chose to wear. You occupied yourself with the loose bits of concrete surrounding the sidewalk, kicking a few rocks around with the toe of your boot, one hand tucked tightly into your pocket while the other began feeling numb as you held your phone up to your ear.

Your eyes found Cortez’s figure inside the small cafe the two of you decided to meet up at, a smile tugging on your lips as you watched him converse with the person behind the counter while he waited for your orders.

The voice of the event planner on the other line continued droning on about what was expected of you at the gala tonight as if they hadn’t spoken to you in the months leading up to the gala or profusely sent you emails with an itinerary. You wished there was some way for you to get out of the whole ordeal, a few weeks ago you wouldn’t have minded but now you were resigned to spending your night with Hayden and a bunch of other mediocre middle-aged men who would pay you compliments for everything besides the journalistic work you pride yourself on.

You let out a small sigh followed by a noncommittal hum as you listened to the line go silent for the final time, stuffing the phone into your jacket pocket just in time to gratefully receive the to-go cup of hot cocoa Cortez patiently held out to you.

A nod of appreciation was sent his way as the two of you began your walk to the restaurant, your brows furrowed at the neatly wrapped box in his hand that wasn’t occupied with his cup of tea, “You buy the whole bakery or something?” You nodded towards what you assumed was a pastry box when he looked over in your direction.

A small smirk pulled at his lips “Nah, after ya little story about that sad ass baby shower you threw for Natalie, thought I could bring her some pastries ya know since I ain’t get no invite or nothin’.” You rolled your eyes slightly shoving your elbow into his side as you laughed him off.

“Aren’t we like not supposed to have a personal relationship outside of this sponsor sponsee situation?” A slight smile tugged at your lips as you listened to Cortez’s scoff.

“The way yo ass use me like a personal diary we might as well be fuckin’ friends.” Cortez turned his head away from you hoping it was enough to hide the small uptick of his lips, but it did next to nothing as you caught a quick glimpse of it.

You opened your mouth to respond, apologizing lightly to the stranger you almost ran into while your eyes were on Cortez. The man let out a huff of annoyance before carefully balancing his cup of the pastry box and then looping his free arm through yours.

“Bad enough I gotta listen to yo dramatic ass life stories, now I gotta be yo guide dog too?” Regardless of the quiet laugh he let out to signify he was joking, you weren’t sure how you put up with constantly being roasted by the man whenever you were in his presence.

You took another sip of your hot cocoa appreciating the way it warmed you from the inside out, a thought coming to you as you fixed your hold on the cup. “You seemed to know that barista at the cafe pretty well.” It was hard to keep the curiosity out of your tone, hoping if you avoided his stare he wouldn’t clock that you were trying to pry into his personal life.

Cortez let out a chuckle shaking his head at your antics, finding it amusing that you wouldn’t just outright ask him whatever questions you had considering all the times he’d intently listened and advised any dilemmas you went through. “Damn girl, you hella nosy!”

It was hard to hold back the laughter that began to bubble in you at those words, Cortez’s innate sassy nature was something you would always appreciate about him. “Nah I’m playin’,” the almost shy smile on his face cut off his words, and the reaction surprised you. “But uh, I been frequentin’ that cafe for a bit. They uh asked for my number last time I was there, we been talkin’ and shit.” He shrugged it off like he didn’t just tell you the most exciting news you’d heard all week.

Although his complexion didn’t allow for a blush to spread across his cheeks, you could tell he was flustered just by the way he was trying to hide his smile. “Talkin’ and shit hmm,” your imitation of him drew a frown from the man. “Is that all the two of you are doing?”

Cortez chuckled at the teasing undertone in your voice, “Ion really think that’s ya business ma.”

A quiet scoff left you at Cortez’s answer of course he would give you a morsel of his personal life, only to take it away when you got too curious. You didn’t mind though his life wasn’t really any of your business but you sure as hell liked to bug him about it like it was.

“What about you, still cut up over homeboy who stay playin’ with you?” If you spent any more alone time with this man you were sure your eyes would permanently get stuck in the back of your head from all the rolling they did.

“You don’t have to say it like that and actually ‘ion really think that’s ya business bro’.” The laughter from the two of you came immediately at how ridiculous you sounded when trying to mimic Cortez’s vernacular. The strange look from those gathered around you as you waited to cross the street did little to appease your good humor.

The two of you continued the rest of your journey in mostly silence unless one of the two of you made a quip here and there. You weren’t sure what compelled Cortez to tag along with you to the restaurant especially since you’d spoken in length about how you were doing with your sobriety back at the cafe, if anything you were sure Cortez’s nosiness was catching up to him and he wanted to put a face to all the myriad of names you mentioned. But you’d pretend his excuse about seeing Natalie was legitimate.

You stopped in front of the restaurant, the windows covered and not allowing anyone on the outside to see in. You looked back at Cortez for a moment, eyes narrowing as you watched a smug smirk grow on his lips, “What’s that look for?”

His smirk widened as he leaned around you opening the door, “Nothin’ ma just excited to meet that loser you stay fuckin’ cryin’ over.”

You scoffed turning to enter the restaurant, only to be stopped by the sound of Nat’s voice coming from behind the two of you causing you to turn in your tracks with a smile on your face as she approached both of you. Pleasantries were exchanged as the three of you headed inside, your eyes landing on exactly the person you were looking for as you excused yourself from the conversation.

As you made your way further into the restaurant, you realized what was so different about it. It was weird the more you looked around, you realized just how much things had changed thus far. In reality, the only major change you could pinpoint was the lack of walls, but it was also more than that to you, it was no longer the restaurant you once used to come to on the weekends when you and Carm were kids. While most of the foundation was the same there would be no more looking at a particular spot and being sucked into a memory from all those years ago. It was refreshing, to say the least, but it also felt like the last tangible piece of Mikey was being torn down bit by bit, piece by piece.

Nat’s laugh broke you from your reverie, your eyes finding her still locked in conversation with Cortez, whatever stress you’d seen on her face outside had calmed a bit as she spoke with the man. You turned moving to the man you were here to speak to, eyebrows furrowing as you watched Syd look at dishes on the table.

“Fak, hey mind if I cut in?” You waited for his response watching as his eyes darted between you and the man he was speaking with, the latter sending you a welcoming smile as he held his hand out to introduce himself.

The panicked look on Fak’s face as he fought the urge to step away and speak with you made it clear whatever he was doing with Tim was important, so you decided he could be privy to the conversation.

“If I let you in on a super secret mission, you have to promise me Carmy doesn’t find out.” You looked down at Fak in his seated position, the rapid nod of his head enough to let you know your words caught his attention.

You looked around the restaurant just to make sure Carmy hadn’t made a surprise appearance before turning and taking the nearest chair to sit in, leaning forward and beckoning Fak with you, Tim watching from his place next to Fak somehow just as intrigued.

“Okay, I need you to tell me everything you know about what happened to Mikey’s jean jacket, you know the one with that cool blanket lining?” You watched as realization flashed across Fak’s face.

His hands flew to his mouth as he tried to hide his excited laugh, the noise drawing not only Syd’s attention but Nat and Cortez’s as well before they returned to what previously held their attention. Your eyebrows furrowed as you shushed him hoping it wouldn’t draw anyone else’s attention.

“You’re trying to find the jacket for Carmy!” Your eyes widened at how loud he said Carmy’s name, regretting your decision to do this at the restaurant. “So is this like a lover’s gift because you know I’m Carmy’s best friend,” he paused, wincing as he looked at you. “No offense Baby, but you’d be like the coolest fucking girlfriend ever if you found that jacket for Carm.”

While Fak’s excitement made you feel hopeful that getting the jacket would be easier than you once thought, you needed to nip this idea of you and Carmy being an item in the bud before Fak got too carried away, no matter how much the idea warmed you inside.

“Uh…no, no Fak were just friends, but if I’m going to relieve you of best friend duties- thanks for stepping in for the past 10 years by the way,” you gave him a small wink. “I need your help to find that jacket, please.” The puppy dog eyes weren’t necessary but you needed to assure his help.

Fak kept quiet as he looked at you, both of you easily ignored Tim as he sat watching the stare-off between the two of you intently, waiting for one of you to crack. It was immediate the way Fak deflated into himself the excitement still there as he began telling you the information he knew.

You politely nodded along as Fak went off on various tangents, paying extra attention as he recounted Carm being beaten up by someone in a carrot costume, wanting to keep that in the back of your mind just in case you needed it. A few more attentive nods and quiet “mhms” left you before Fak finally gave you something you could work with.

“Chi-Chi? And you’re sure he has the jacket?” You were surprised, to say the least, but after listening to Fak explain how tough things got at The Beef, you understood the need for quick cash. Your mind tried to remember how you overlooked the state of the restaurant when helping out Richie last year.

“Thanks, Fak I really appreciate the help, don’t let Carm find out though please?” You raised your eyebrows hoping he realized how serious you were, your eyes dropping to his extended pinky before letting out a quiet laugh and connecting your pinky’s in a pinky promise.

You gave Fak one last smile in thanks before apologizing to Tim for interrupting their riveting conversation about music and returning the chair to the table you stole it from. As you looked up you caught Syd’s knowing smile out of the corner of your eye, the seat next to her occupied by none other than Cortez, a smile of his own lining his lips.

“Don’t you two just look cozy.” Your voice was sarcastic as you looked between the two of them, sure they heard the whole conversation and even more sure that Cortez provided Syd with commentary. Your eyes fell to the small wares lined up on the table trying to distract yourself from Cortez’s smug grin.

Cortez cleared his throat, “Baby?” The smile was evident in his voice before your eyes shot up to his. “Oh that shit was serious,” he paused on a laugh hand moving to wipe across his mouth. “Not you walkin’ around lettin’ grown ass men call you Baby.”

You looked in Syd’s direction for help, an awkward smile lined her lips as she looked between the two of you. “It’s a childhood nickname, why are you still here anyway?”

He shrugged finger tracing across one of the plates, “Nat asked me to stick around for lunch, and ya girl over here was starin’ at these dishes hard as hell, thought she could use a pastry.”

Your eyes narrowed at Cortez’s words, his hands holding out the pastry box to you in offering. Nat wasn’t around to corroborate his story but you also knew he was just as nosy as you and probably took up Nat’s offer in hopes of meeting Carm, you brushed it off before turning back to Syd.

“Why isn’t Carm helping you with all this?” Your hand moved in a gesture to everything set out on the table, you could feel the tension radiating off Syd like it was something palpable.

The look on Syd’s face was a mix of irritation and exhaustion as she looked at you before looking in Cortez’s direction, the man all ears as she decided whether or not to talk about what was plaguing her in mixed company.

“Oh, you know Carm, everywhere and nowhere,” she gave a forced laugh before finding your eyes, the look on your face telling her to cut the shit. “He’s stressing me out more than I already am, which isn’t great. There’s so much to get done and when I bring it up he’s already working on a million other things, or he’s just not even here”

You nodded understanding her frustration, “Makes sense, is there anything I could do to help maybe?” It was a shot in the dark but you understood how Carmy could get, and Syd didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his shenanigans.

“I uh…maybe like I dunno, not occupy so much of his time…please?” Syd wouldn’t meet your eyes as she fiddled with the plate closest to her turning it back and forth. You were too shocked to say anything, Cortez’s chuckles filled the space your voice hadn’t.

“Damn ma, you just out here makin’ everyone’s life fuckin’ harder huh? Thought I was special.” Cortez sent you a small pout as you turned in his direction.

You sent him a mocking pout to match his, tired of being bullied by the man in front of you. “I’m sorry, why the fuck is the peanut gallery speaking?” He rolled his eyes mocking your words before you looked back in Syd’s direction, “Listen, Syd, I didn’t realize I was monopolizing all of Carmy’s time, and I apologize for any stress I’ve caused you, but for now on I’ll be more mindful of your time.”

Syd sent you a small smile, her shoulders relaxed as she realized you weren’t upset with her. Could her words have been nicer, maybe, but without them you wouldn’t have realized just how much Carmy spending time with you was taking away his attention from the restaurant. And while Syd definitely should’ve voiced her concerns to Carm, you were sure she was taking the less volatile approach by speaking with you.

The sound of Syd calling Carmy over drew your attention, your eyes immediately met Cortez’s as his eyes moved from a spot behind you before landing on yours. The two of you had a silent conversation through your eyes, trying your best to shut down any thoughts running through Cortez’s mind as a smug smile graced his features, hands raising in acquiescence.

A warmth at the small of your back had you turning to Carmy. His body now stood next to yours, you tried to tame your smile in front of Cortez not wanting to give him any more ammunition to tease you with. It was subtle but you felt the warmth of Carmy’s fingers trace across your lower back before his hand fell to his side.

“Hey,” his voice was breathy, quiet as his eyes roamed over your face taking inventory. “Are you good, did you eat?”

You gave a soft nod doing your best to ignore the way Cortez and Syd turned to look at each other in your peripheral vision.

“Homeboy just looks lost 24/7 don’t he?” Cortez’s words met your ears, you listened as Syd hummed in agreement, your eyes turning to the two culprits, Carmy’s following shortly after. Cortez stood up after that leaning over the table with his hand outstretched, “Good to properly meet you, kid, seein’ as we ain’t get a chance to talk last time I saw you.”

Cortez’s words confused you, eyes following the hesitant way Carmy’s hand met his. “You two know each other?”

Cortez shrugged smirking in your direction, “I ain’t say all that,” he paused before his eyes shifted to Carmy’s eyes his smirk widened. “Baby over here, talks so fondly bout you homie, feel like I already know you.”

You rolled your eyes at Cortez’s antics letting out a sarcastic laugh before gesturing between the two of them and speaking, “Cortez meet Carmy, Carmy meet Cortez.”

Carmy stood tensely beside you his fingers bumping into yours as his hand moved across his body to scratch his tricep, “I uh, remember you…from the church.” Carmy began nodding his head, this whole situation was news to you but it made sense considering neither man knew who the other was until today.

“That’s great, this is great. I love reunions, quick kinda off topic question which plates should we use to serve our guests, or are we going for a whole like BYOP vibe?” Syd’s hands gestured to the table with the various choices on it.

It was quiet for a moment as Carmy’s eyes flashed across the selection, “What’s BYOP?”

“Bring Your Own Plate.” Your voice along with Cortez’s rang out in sync before the man raised his hand towards you waiting as you reached out to high-five him both of you laughing.

Syd and Carmy shared a moment staring between the two of you before their eyes met. Carmy couldn’t understand it but for some reason seeing you and the man he now knew to be Cortez reminded him of you and Mikey.

“Um, this plate.” Carmy’s hands reached for a sleek black plate that you admired as he set down.

Syd grimaced before speaking up, “Well, that's 55 bucks a plate for that type of silence, so... ”

Cortez let out a low whistle as he leaned in closer to look down at the plate, “Damn y’all got money, them some nice ass plates.” Cortez looked up at the silence that fell over the group, “I can see my opinion ain’t wanted,” he raised his hands in surrender. “But when you got time I’ma need the name of the designer cause these mugs is fresh as fuck.”

You let out a quiet laugh, Syd’s mouth twitching at the corners from Cortez’s humor, “I’ll keep that in mind for your birthday…are sponsees allowed to gift their sponsors, things?”

“The best gift you could get me is yo ass shuttin’ the hell up.” Syd tried to disguise her laugh as a cough when you glared at her, you even saw Carmy’s lips twitch from the peripheral vision.

Before you could respond Nat made her presence known joining the group with an envelope of some sort in her hand. You tuned out the conversation Carmy and Nat engaged in as you occupied yourself with the dishware on the table, cataloging the pieces you thought were nice in your head.

Syd’s tired sigh pulled your attention as you caught the end of the conversation, Carmy offering to drop something off for Nat.

“I can drop that off, that way you two can stay here and get all the hard work done.” The voices quieted as your suggestion rang out, your eyes flashing around the group waiting for a response.

Nat nodded as she began handing the envelope over, “Will you have enough time to get ready for the gala tonight?”

You shrugged not caring too much about the event as you gripped the envelope. Before you could wander off and grab your belongings Carmy spoke up, “I’ll go with you.”

Remembering Syd’s earlier words you offered him a small smile before shaking your head back and forth, “Don’t worry about it, you’ve got plenty of stuff here to worry about.”

Cortez laughed looking between the group gathered around, “Damn it takes two of y’all to drop off a little envelope.”

Carmy ignored his teasing as he began speaking directly to you. “Did you drive here?” You shook your head no at his question, “So you’re just gonna walk all the way to Winnetka?” You weren’t sure when Carmy had become so sassy but you stood there staring at him with a slight smile on your face at his persistence.

“Oh my goodness please just go!” Syd’s words pulled the two of you out of your staring contest, “Just Carm, can we please go over plates and napkins when you get back, maybe even the chaos menu?”

Carmy listened to her request and nodded before turning to you nodding his head and signaling for the two of you to leave. You sighed feeling bad that you were once again occupying Carmy’s time, but the quicker the two of you got this errand done the quicker Carmy could return and get the important work done.

As the two of you moved away from the group, you couldn’t help the small smile as you listened to Syd and Cortez begin a conversation regarding Coach K.

The quiet song playing on the radio was the only noise filling the space of the car, your thumbs twiddled against the steering wheel, eyes locked on the pile-up of cars in front of you. You could feel Carmy’s eyes searing into the side of your head when he stole glances in your direction, for someone who was so adamant on joining your journey, he sure didn’t have much to say.

“Sometimes when I dream, it's always these fucked up scenarios where I’m in a car and I just don’t know how to drive.” You looked over to Carm to see his eyes already on you before continuing. “I always get in these accidents, like the brakes don’t work, or I just fucking crash right? And like what if this is one of those dreams?”

Carmy let out a quiet cough as he looked between you in the driver's seat and the cars ahead of you, “Is there uh…ever any passengers in your dreams?”

You smirked at his question before shrugging, “Sometimes but they never actually have a face, their faces are just smooth.”

“You know how fucked up that sounds?” Carmy’s voice was incredulous as he caught your eyes once more, the two of you sharing a laugh at the whole thing.

While an unusual conversation started, it did the job to break whatever tension had settled between the two of you, as you could see Carmy’s body relax into the seat out of your peripheral.

“So Cortez…he’s your uh sponsor?” Carmy listened as you hummed in approval of his question, his eyes strayed to the way your hands moved to signal a lane change.

You weren’t sure why you agreed to drive knowing how much other drivers pissed you off, “My sponsor, personal pain in the ass. Same difference.” You gave Carm a small smile as you checked the passenger side mirror before merging.

Carm nodded debating whether the questions racing through his mind deserved to be spoken aloud. “What’s it like?” There was a moment of silence between the two of you, Carmy realizing just how insensitive the question was, “Shit uh…you don’t have to answer that.”

Carmy’s question rang through your head as you thought of how to respond. You weren’t sure if meeting Cortez made him so curious or if he had underlying questions since finding out about your accident, it was worth mentioning that your experience wouldn’t help him understand Mikey and his experience even more but that wasn’t a conversation you wanted to get into while driving.

“It’s a lot of fucking discipline,” you stopped trying to gather the best way to articulate your feelings. “There’s this romanticized idea of what being a recovering addict looks like, and it's honestly a bunch of bullshit. People think you make the choice, you get clean, and then like fucking magic you’re just cured.”

Your eyes were hyper-focused on the road as you drove, the words pouring out of you without a second thought. “I’ll be a recovering addict for the rest of my life, there’s no end to this shit. My whole life is different now, the day I chose to use, will affect every single choice I make going forward.”

“And I don’t think I have to tell you, but this shit is a disease. I’m fucking sick Carm, and there’s no getting better, not really. Recovery is like putting a bandaid on a wound that needs fucking life-saving surgery, but the surgery doesn’t exist and you just hope to fucking hell your bandaid will last. I used to be one of those people you know…I thought addicts just had to get clean and all was good again but then I lived that shit.”

Carmy hung onto every word intently, watching the sheen that overcame your eyes as you followed the GPS directions on autopilot, your hands tightening around the steering wheel every few moments as he lost you.

“It’s a lot of pretending too…for me at least, pretending that I’m fine, pretending that the urges aren’t there slowly eating away at me if I give them too much thought.” You paused sniffling as tears fought to drip down your face. “P-pretending I didn’t tell Nat it was her fault that M-Mikey passed, that she should’ve paid more attention as I laid there saying the most vile things hoping they’d give in and just give me something. Pretending I don’t spend days locked away in my room as thoughts of just using one more time bring on bouts of anxious tremors.”

Carm watched you from his spot in the passenger seat, through all that you somehow managed to safely navigate the two of you to your destination. His chest felt tight as a few tears slipped down your cheeks, his eyes catching sight of the way your grip slackened on the steering wheel, the appendages shaking slightly. He could feel the disgust rising in his chest as he realized if it weren’t for his curiosity you wouldn’t be upset.

Carmy unbuckled himself, hands reaching out to collect yours between his. Your unfocused eyes found his as he gave you a minute to collect yourself, the embarrassment of the moment washed over your face. “Sorry, I probably should’ve taken Cortez up on his offer to meet more often.” You let out a pathetic laugh hoping the severe look of concern on Carmy’s face would slowly ebb away.

You allowed him to unbuckle you before his hands found yours once more, you watched as he brought them to settle against his warm chest just barely realizing the slight tremors radiating off of them. He held your hands against his chest allowing the warmth to help calm you down, the steady beat of his heart bringing the comfort you needed.

Carmy’s hands moved from their place atop yours before moving to pull you into his chest as best he could. Neither of you said a word about the uncomfortable way the center console dug into your stomachs. As Carmy’s warm lips pressed into your temple you relaxed into him as much as the positions allowed for his arms bringing you the comfort they always did.

You were thankful that Carmy agreed to the pit stop you’d asked him to make. After sitting in the parking lot for longer than necessary you realized it would be easier to pick up your dress now rather than Carmy dropping you off at home and then leaving to pick it up.

The gentle squeeze to your hand stole your attention, your eyes were staring out the window, not focused on anything in particular as you debated whether to attend the gala or just forget about the whole thing and spend your night home alone. You turned to face Carmy, a small smile on his lips as he nodded to the house he’d parked in front of.

Both of you exited the car meeting up in front of it before you offered him your best encouraging smile and led the way to the door. The warmth radiating off his body behind you is the only notion to let you know he followed you before your hand reached to press the doorbell.

It was a few minutes before a voice yelled from inside the house, noises met your ears as the door was yanked open. The screen door made it difficult to see exactly who stood behind it, but the dramatic gasp let you know who it was.

“Well I’ll be damned Baby, you sure do know how to pick up stray…dare I say bears.” The joke was mediocre at best, but it was Ms. Sadie’s high-pitched laugh that stole a giggle out of you as you turned in Carmy’s direction, eyebrows raised in amusement.

Ms. Sadie left the two of you on the porch, quickly unlocking the screen door as she moved slower than she once did all those years ago, the sound of the lock was enough of an invitation. “We won’t stay long I promise,” you knew just how uncomfortable being social made Carmy. “Take off your shoes.”

Carmy nodded as he watched you step out of your shoes before moving inside his motions following yours. He hadn’t seen Ms. Mable or Ms. Sadie since returning to Chicago, he honestly wasn’t sure they were still alive, but he remembered just how much the two women loved you all those years ago and while he was never as close with them as you and your mom, he felt his cheeks warm at the idea of you bringing him to their house, it didn’t mean anything but he couldn’t help the way his mind read into it.

“Mabel! Baby’s here, and she brought her little friend.” Carmy followed you through the living room as Ms. Sadie’s voice rang through his ears, his eyes floated around the room landing on several photos of you throughout the years, his hand reaching for a photo of the three of you at what he assumed was your college graduation. Carmy’s eyes studied your smile frozen in time, your happiness practically radiated through the picture as you stood in your cap and gown. He knew he would never have these memories with you, and knowing that everyone else besides him celebrated your successes no matter how big or small would always stick with him.

“Carm,” the whisper of your voice made him look in your direction, finding your hand reaching out for him, he gave you his small signature smile before replacing the picture frame.

Carmy allowed you to lead him through the house before the two of you stepped into the sunroom, Ms. Mabel sat at a table, a game of chess in front of her. His fingers twitched as your hand left his to greet the woman, watching as you dropped down to hug her, the older woman’s eyes landing on his as they lit up. He stood awkwardly trying to ignore the glare Ms. Sadie pointed his way as her partner whispered something in your ear. Your soft laugh rang through his head like a breeze in the early morning.

“Carmen Berzatto, you just gon’ stand in my house and not say nothin’?” His eyes widened as he looked between you and Ms. Mabel, mouth opening and closing as he watched a slow smile rise to both of your faces. “M’ just messin’ with you honey, Baby’s been tellin’ us about the restaurant, been wonderin’ when she was gonna bring your round.”

A tense smile raised to his lips, the sense of uncomfortableness slowly ebbing away as you moved back to his side. “Baby, why don’t you go on with Mabel and get your dress, I’ll get Carmen here to help me in the kitchen. I know y’all can’t stay long so we’ll send y’all off with some red beans and rice. How that sound?”

Carmy gave you a reassuring smile as you looked in his direction, he couldn’t voice it but Ms. Sadie intimidated him and he knew her suggestion wasn’t a question but more so a demand as his eyes flitted to Ms. Mabel trying to hide her chuckles behind her hand. His head began nodding before he even realized, your hand reached to give his a light squeeze followed by the smile that was etched into his memory as you and Ms. Mabel left the two of them.

You stepped from behind the partition beaming as Ms. Mabel gasped, clapping her hands. You did a little spin once you made it to the middle of the room stepping on the raised dais so the older woman could assure the alterations were perfect. You watched the woman move around in the mirror thankful for her agreeing to make the few alterations you needed, staring at the way the dress hugged the shape of your body made you feel a bit better about the gala tonight. You hoped the confidence you felt as you stood there would translate to the event and help you get through the night.

“So, you and that Berzatto boy.” Ms. Mabel’s words had a knowing undertone as her eyes met yours in the mirror, a kind smile on her face to let you know her curiosity was genuine.

You gave a slight shrug trying not to show just how flustered the question made you, “We’re friends again if that’s what you're asking.”

Ms. Mabel’s smile widened in the mirror before her mouth opened taking the form of an ‘o’ as she gave you one more once over. “Do you permanently alter your body for all your friends?” The question was paired with her cold fingers tracing the amalgamation of lines that now ran down your spine, a quiet gasp escaped you at the feeling. “Now I was born at night Baby, but I wasn’t born last night. And I know for damn sure you didn’t have this tattoo when I first took your measurements.”

A warmth flushed over your body at having been called out by the older woman as she gestured for you to step off the dais and join her on the settee, your mouth opening to respond.

“Hush up for a minute now,” her wrinkled hands reached out to cup yours as they fiddled in your lap. “It’s beautiful work Baby, don’t get me wrong but I would like to see you find the happiness you deserve before I leave this Earth.” She waved you off as you opened your mouth to protest, “Now Sadie and I ain’t gon’ be here much longer and we love you like you’re our own. But don’t you think you’d be happier if you let that boy go?”

A sigh deflated your body as you took in Ms. Mabel’s words it would have been easy to get defensive and fight tooth and nail for Carmy like you usually did, but you knew she was only asking because of how much she cared about you. You allowed yourself a few seconds of silence as you thought of your response, searching for the best words so as to not disrespect the woman you held in such high regard.

“I think I would be a lot happier if I let Carm go,” saying the words out loud left a bitter taste in your mouth and you weren’t sure if it was the remnants of truth left on your tongue or heartache. “But letting him go wouldn’t remove the space he’s made for himself in my life. We lost contact for 10 years and even that wasn’t enough for me to forget the memory of him. It’s like,” you paused your eyes looking up into Ms. Mabel’s before continuing.

“The love I have for him is burrowed deep in me, like roots. And it’s more than just being in love with him, it’s the love I shared with him growing up, in friendship. I don’t know Ms. Mabel, maybe it would be easier if we didn’t encompass each other’s lives in the way we have, a-and maybe it’s stupid of me to one day hope he could devote himself to me, but whatever love I have for him, I’m just not sure I could find it in someone else.”

The crow's feet by Ms. Mabel’s eyes crinkled up as she offered you a warm smile, her hands squeezed yours as a way to translate the care she had for you. “You know I was married before Sadie right?” Her question had your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “I didn’t love him, hardly knew him but all women were good for back then was marryin’ and homemakin’. There was someone else though, and the shame those feelings caused me put enough fear in me to marry that man. And he was a good man, treated me right, respected me, but I just couldn’t love him the way I loved my Sadie.”

There was little surprise on your face as Ms. Mabel revealed the identity of the person who held her true affection. “I won’t get into all the messy details, but when I was finally free of that marriage Sadie and I found our way back to each other, and it was then that I knew, no matter what I could never love another soul in the way my soul loved Sadie’s. So no Baby, it’s not stupid but you can’t allow that type of love to live rent-free in you if whoever’s on the other end of it ain’t returin’ the affection. Sometimes Baby it’s just best to love from afar.”

Ms. Mabel pulled you into a warm embrace as she finished talking, hoping that her words wouldn’t just go in one ear and out the other. “Now gon’ on and get outta that dress you done let me talk your ear off so long you might not have enough time to get ready.” She smiled as you laughed along with her before stepping behind the partition to redress.

You and Ms. Mabel stepped into the living room laughter left the both of you as you maneuvered the dress bag so it didn’t get caught on any of the shelves. Carmy and Ms. Sadie seemed to be in deep conversation as the two of you entered the room, a part of you surprised at how comfortable Carmy looked sitting on the plastic-wrapped couch.

“Sadie stop talkin’ that boys ear off Baby needs to go home and get ready.” The sound of Ms. Sadie sucking her teeth caused you to laugh as Ms. Mabel mumbled about how the other woman talked too damn much.

Ms. Sadie said something to Carmy before rising from the couch taking both of their mugs with her before returning with a plastic bag full of Tupperware, “Oh Baby, you got that little fancy gala tonight don’t you.”

You looked in her direction as you moved through the living room to reach Carmy’s side, “Yes ma’am, Ms. Mabel’s alterations were perfect as always.”

“Mhm, so Carmen here is your plus one?” She raised her eyebrow in question as she handed the bag of food over to the aforementioned man.

You tried to ignore the heat of Carmy’s eyes as he turned to look at you. Shuffling in your spot as you looked to Ms. Mabel for help while she pretended to pick up the nonexistent dust particles on one of the shelves. You weren’t sure why she was even asking this question, you’d explained to both of them you were unsure about inviting Carmy every time Ms. Mabel asked.

“W-well I would love for Carm to come with me,” you looked in his direction as his eyes fell to the floor, a blush coloring his cheeks. “But it’s last minute and who knows if he even has a suit. A-and I’ve taken up too much of his time already. Syd really needs him back at the restaurant.”

Ms. Sadie narrowed her eyes at you being able to smell your bullshit before you even opened your mouth. “Well, speak up Carmen.”

You watched as Ms. Sadie raised her eyebrows to Carmy as he looked up, the older woman trying to communicate something without using words. “N-no…uh yeah, Baby’s right I uh gotta get back to the restaurant.”

Ms. Sadie didn’t even try to hide her sigh of disappointment as she shooed to two of you out of the house, Ms. Mabel joined her partner as they walked you and Carmy out to the porch, “We’ll see you for Sunday dinner right Baby?”

You nodded before being pulled into a hug by both women receiving kisses on both of your cheeks, “And you bet not show up here without Carmen.” Ms. Sadie’s words tickled your ear as she whispered to you before pulling away. You gave her a confused smile while nodding, since you’d been back in Chicago Ms. Sadie had made her disapproval of the youngest Berzatto clear, and you couldn’t pretend to know what had changed in the 30 minutes she was left alone with him.

Ms. Mabel and Ms. Sadie stood on their porch waving you and Carmy off as they watched his car pull away. “What got you invitin’ Carmen to our house for Sunday dinners?” Ms. Mabel looked up at her wife having heard her whisper to you, “Thought you didn’t like that boy after everything.”

The taller woman shrugged her shoulder before wrapping her arm around Ms. Mabel’s waist, “That boy just needed some sense smacked into him.” Before Ms. Mabel could open her mouth to protest, Ms. Sadie hushed her. “I’m just messin’ but before you scold me for not mindin’ my business you better figure out which one of us is the pot and which one is the kettle.”

They divulged into boisterous laughter as they stood there in each other’s embrace. Relishing in just how well they knew each other, “If that hardheaded boy don’t make his move tonight I’m uninvitin’ his ass from Sunday dinner.”

Ms. Sadie’s heart warmed as she watched Ms. Mabel’s face light up from just how much she laughed. Ms. Sadie led the smaller woman into the house, and although her jokes regarding the Berzatto boy got raucous laughter from her lover, she sure would be put out if she sat her old ass on that couch talking sense into that boy instead of watching her program and he decided the wisdom she kindly bestowed upon him didn’t need to be put to use.

a/n: i know this was a bit much for a filler chapter but i promise it sets up a very important story arc that we’ve all heavily been anticipating. hope you all enjoyed, hope you’re all doing amazing my loves! reblogs and comments are much appreciated! 🫶🏽🤎

[gracev0609]

Dirty Love

Josh X Danny

A @lipstickitty / gracev0609 collaboration.

We decided to try our hands at angst after getting inspiration from Mt. Joy's song ' Dirty Love '

This is set in a different universe than our previous Josh and Danny by the way! Two different sets of characters!

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI, Angst, Betrayal, Lies, Cheating, Heartbreaking, unwillingness to come to terms with their sexuality and hurting others in the process.

WC: 2.7k

The group was enjoying the evening, taking turns passing a blunt, and drinking way too many white claws. Jake and Sam sat on one side of the fire pit, while Josh, Danny and Alexis, Danny's longtime girlfriend,sat on the other. They were jovial, enjoying their time on break together, it was one of the last evenings they had before tour resumed.

Josh stood from his lawn chair, swaying back and forth slightly from his indulgence,” I'm gonna go inside, gonna get another one. Anyone want another seltzer?”

After taking count he wandered his way across Sam's backyard.

Suddenly Danny announced,” I'll go help him.”

He stood, quickly following him, leaving the rest of them around the warmth of the fire.

Josh was in the kitchen grabbing the beverages from the refrigerator when he heard the sound of the sliding door opening and closing. As soon as the refrigerator door was closed he felt Danny's presence. His body mere inches away, he could feel his body heat against his back.

“Hi Joshy.”

Josh peered over his shoulder and in an instant Danny's soft warm lips were on his. For a split second he melted into the kiss. How he wished that he could forever melt into Danny's warm embrace. Soon enough, he'll be his, Danny said so. Suddenly ice trailed up Josh's spine and he was very aware of what they were doing and where they were doing it .

Pulling away Josh put his hands on Danny's chest, separating them,” Danny stop. Stop. Not here, not now. Not with Alexis out there.”

Danny backed up, until his lower back hit the island,”Fuck. You're right.”

Josh's trailed from Danny's face down to the floor gazing at their shoes,” When… when are you going to do it. When are you breaking up with Alexis?”

Quietly Danny mumbled,”I don't know.”

Josh's brows furrow,” You don't know? You never know. Y-you always have an excuse Danny. First her grandfather died, and I understood. Then her dog was sick, and I understood. But fuck Daniel it's been 6 months, I'm tired of being a secret.”

“I know. I know you are.”

Josh balled his fists, energy coursing through his veins,” Jesus Christ Daniel. We keep doing this, and you keep claiming ‘ that you love me and want to be with me’ but you don't break it off. You don't even want Sam or Jake to know about us. What am I? Just your Dirty Love?! All I want are your eyes on mine. I need more! I- I need commitment and accountability, I can't do this anymore, I can't be the ‘other man’ anymore. It's not fair.”

Danny slowly exhaled,” I'm not ready. I'm not ready for you to be my boyfriend.”

“You can't control who you really are, or what you really want.”

Danny just stared back at him, unable to say anymore.

Josh’s eyes brimmed with tears he was furiously trying to hold back, “So that’s it then. Nothing you said was true?”

Danny also felt the prickle of tears beginning behind his eyes, sniffling them back. “No, Josh it’s not like that. Everything I said was true, or at least… it was at the time. I do love you, you have to believe that. I do want to be with you, but I’m not ready for this. I can’t do this, not now.”

Josh felt his temper rising, the overwhelming sadness and hurt flooding him transforming at least temporarily into rage and the hot tears began to flow. “You know what, that’s fine. Just forget it, forget all of it. I have to go.”

He pushed past Danny and moved to the door, ready to barrel through and make his exit, but the door slamming alerted everyone outside that there was something going on. Danny just watched him leave, knowing nothing he had to say would make the situation any better. Jake offered to go see what was wrong, jogging around the side of the house to see Josh almost collapse into the driver’s seat of his car, sobs wracking his frame. Jake quickened his pace, now running to his brother. Josh wept into his hands for a moment before shaking his head and putting the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life just as Jake reached the car door. He watched Josh reach for the gear shift to move it from park to drive and yanked the door open just before Josh let off the brake.

He quickly sat down in the seat and pulled the door shut behind him, turning to his distraught brother in the driver’s seat. “Hey, what the hell happened?” Jake asked as the car took off, his hand on Josh’s shoulder trying to soothe him.

Josh didn’t even seem to hear him over his own cries and inner turmoil, wiping his tears away with one hand though new ones just replaced them as soon as he was done. “Why did I agree to this? Why did I let myself settle for it? Why did I let him use me?” He turned to look at Jake for a split second, tears clouding his vision too heavily to see much of anything.

“Danny?” Jake sounded totally taken aback, not having known anything about any of it before he got in the car.

A loud sob ripped through Josh’s chest as he nodded. “Josh, pull over.” Jake said firmly, not taking any arguments. Josh nodded again, turning his blinker on and pulling into the first parking lot they came across.

As soon as the car was safely parked, Jake leaned over the console and pulled Josh into his arms, rubbing his back gently as Josh sobbed into his shoulder. “He- he said that he loved me, and that he was going to end things with Alexis. For 6 months he told me that, and I believed him. Why did I believe him? Why wasn’t I good enough? Fuck, how am I supposed to face him next week when we’re back off break?” Josh’s words came out broken, stuttered in between his sobs and heaving breaths.

Jake felt Josh's words rattle his body, they were powerful and he tried his best to not be upset. He wanted to be Josh's comfort,” Josh. You absolutely are good enough. This. This isn't your fault, this is his.”

Josh cried harder as he desperately tried to keep his sobs and wails to a minimum. His body shook and he knew he was soaking Jake's shoulder in tears and snot.

He was blubbering, his head pounding as he wailed,” Why was I so stupid?!”

Jake clung his body closer to his, trying to ease the pain of his broken heart. Jake knew he was feeling intense rejection and embarrassment.

Rubbing his hand up and down his trembling back,” It's okay, you're not stupid Josh. He wasn't telling you the truth.”

After what felt like forever, Josh finally calmed down enough to where he could talk in full sentences again,” So.. I guess you want to know what happened.”

Neatly folding his hands in his lap, Jake nodded,” If you want to tell me, I'm here to listen.”

Josh wiped stray tears from his eyes, and Jake quickly leaned down and opened up his glove box finding brown paper fast food napkins and handing him a small stack.

Josh let out a shaky breath,” Well… around 6 months ago we started getting closer, flirting a ton, talking a ton. Danny.. he- he said he wasn't enjoying being with her anymore. He said he wanted to see what it would be like with a man, wanted to see what it would be like with me. And I fell so hard, so fast. I mean it's Danny!” A small sob escaped his lips and he swiped a scratchy napkin across his eyes once more. “ We slept together, and we kept sleeping together, and we were having so much fun. It felt so easy and wonderful and full of love, but we had to keep it under wraps. And fuck, now here we are. I believed all his lies.”

Jake reached out, squeezing his hand around Josh's,” I'm so sorry Josh.’

🔥🔥

Danny tried his best to compose himself in the kitchen before he walked back outside, but despite his best efforts he knew he still looked a mess. He may have been able to fool Alexis by telling her he just wasn’t feeling well, but he was well aware that Sam knew him like the back of his hand and would instantly know something was off. He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to ease the pounding in his head. With one more deep breath he walked back out to face them.

Just as Danny had known he would, as soon as Sam caught sight of Danny’s face his brows tented in confusion and he looked around the yard, everyone’s drinks scattered around to be forgotten about. The expression on Danny’s face paired with the sound of the twins peeling off out of the driveway painted a picture that Sam was puzzled by and he wanted answers. “What’s the matter? Why did Jake and Josh tear out of here like that?”

Danny tried to keep a straight face, but his guilt was eating him alive. He couldn’t think of an explanation that would satisfy Sam, not with Alexis there and his brain so jumbled.

His hands scrubbed over his face once again as he mumbled, “Please Sam, I’ll tell you later. I can’t talk about it right now.” He pleaded, tears threatening to make another appearance.

Sam’s eyes narrowed, “That’s not gonna work for me. You went in there with my brother and then he takes off like a bat out of hell and you look like you’re about to cry. What the fuck happened in there, Daniel?”

Finally he snapped, “Because I’m the biggest piece of shit in the world, okay?! Because I can’t be who I want to be, because I can’t be honest about any of it! Because I ruined everything”, tears flowing freely now, he pointed in Alexis’ direction, “and I’ve been cheating on her for 6 fucking months!” His head fell into his hands and he finally allowed himself to really cry, sobs tearing through him. Sam's jaw drops, and his eyes go wide.

Alexis stands, her expression mirroring Samuel's,” 6 months?! What the fuck Daniel! I-im done, I'm so fucking done, I'll drop off all of your shit next week.” As she walks away, she raises her middle finger in the air,” I hope her cunt was worth it!”

Sam shook his head, confusion settling in as Danny cried into his palms,” So, what does any of that have to do with Josh?”

Danny lifted his head, his cheeks wet with tears and his eyes bloodshot,” Because I was cheating on Alexis with Josh.”

Sam turned his head, jaw clenching, he knew Josh didn't run out of his home because he was happy. Sam took a seat in the lawn chair Alexis previously inhabited, his mind racing, he wasn't happy. On one hand he was sad for Daniel, he felt like he couldn't be with who he wanted to be with. On the other hand he used Josh, his eldest brother. Crossing his legs Sam huffed,” So.. Do you want to talk about it?”

Danny cried,” I fucked everything up Sam!”

Agreeing, he chuffed,” You really did.”

“ I was comfortable with Alexis, but I loved Josh and I just wasn't ready. I told him I wanted him, and that I loved him, and it was true until it was time to face the music.”

“Ready for what?” Sam clenched his jaw, feeling protective over his brother.

“I wasn't ready for everyone to know that I'm queer too. I've barely wrapped my own mind around it, I only knew that I wanted him. I wasn't ready to take him on dates or answer to fans or -”

“That's really fucking shitty you know.”

“I do know! I'm so fucking stupid! I let everything slip through my fingers, Sam.”

“Honestly Daniel… you dug your grave and now you have to lie in it.” Sam stood,” Go home, pack your ex-girlfriend's shit up, and think of a way you can apologize to Josh. Because what you've just put him through is really shitty and really unfair. You led him on. That's really fucked.”

Without any more discussion Sam walked into his home and began cleaning up the leftover food and empty seltzer cans. Leaving Danny to sit with his thoughts.

🔥🔥

“Jake, why did he lie to me? Did-did I ask too much of him? I can’t trust him anymore, I’ve always been able to trust him, and he ruined that. I mean, we were kids together, all of us, and we’ve been taking on the world together and now look where we are!” Jake took in what his brother was telling him, one hand still rubbing soothing circles on Josh’s back while the other held another stack of napkins to give Josh if he ran out.

Jake’s heart was broken for his older brother, he just wanted to take his pain away from him but he didn’t know how. He couldn’t exactly disagree with Josh, everything he was saying was completely true.

“Honestly I don’t know why he lied, and it was a really shitty thing for him to do. You’re not asking for too much, Josh. I’m sorry it happened and I wish there was more I could do to make it better. How about I run into the store real quick and grab us some supplies and I stay with you for a few days? I don’t want you sitting alone in that house brokenhearted.” Jake offered, looking at Josh’s bloodshot, tired eyes, nose rubbed raw, and tear stained cheeks. Josh just nodded, emotionally drained.

“Switch seats with me while I’m in here, I’ll drive us back.” Jake called over his shoulder as he climbed out of the car and walked into the store. While Josh waited on Jake, his mind raced incessantly. He couldn’t stop thinking of every empty promise Danny ever told him. Most, if not all, of his trust in Danny had been destroyed. The months of Danny holding his heart in his hands, telling him exactly what he wanted to hear almost every single night, sweet nothings whispered in the dark, confessions of love and nights spent holding each other tight, only to be torn apart by one short conversation. Josh hadn’t even been concerned with telling the public, he just wanted to belong to Danny and for Danny to be his like he had promised, he wanted to be able to tell his family about it whether the rest of the world knew it or not.

Jake came out of the store a few minutes later loaded down with snacks, drinks, and anything else he could possibly think of that they might need. He arrived back at the car to see that Josh had in fact done as he asked and moved to the passenger side, and was just leaning his head against the window with his eyes closed.

He loaded all the items in the trunk and put the cart away before climbing back in the car, still idling as neither of them had turned it off. The ride back to Josh’s house was mostly quiet, both of them trying to take in the events of the night.

Back at Josh’s home, they both unloaded the groceries and walked inside, setting everything down and putting it all where it needed to go. They threw a frozen pizza in the oven to bake and brought the snacks into the living room to eat while they watched movies and waited on the pizza.

Conversation stayed pretty light until the movie was on, Jake insisting that they watch all of Josh’s favorite movies to try and cheer him up. Shortly after the opening credits rolled, Josh finally spoke up, “I just.. I really thought we could make it work, ya know? It was everything I wanted, and it all got ripped away in a split second.” His words were soft as he blinked back more tears, not wanting to cry again.

Jake felt his heart crack a little more in his chest and he pulled Josh into his arms on the couch. Josh just let his brother clutch him tightly to his chest, knowing that while everything felt awful in that moment, his twin would get him through it.

Fin.

I know, we're sorry... This one hurt us too 😭

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for September 2023! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.

There were so many links this month that I had to group fics by the same writer together so if you don't see the writer listed, scroll up to find the writer.

Happy reading!

＊ bet on it by @nouies [E, 2k, Louis/OMC]

“We should make a bet,” Louis says out loud, waiting for Dante to look up from his tablet and see Louis’ pouty lips.

“Not a fucking chance.”

or…a fic inspired by Louis at the barricade during AFHF.

＊ Harmony [E, 6k, Louis/Harry]

Alpha Harry and Omega Louis don’t have the most amicable relationship at work. When they get stuck together in an elevator, Harry scents Louis after nothing else works to bring him out of his panicked state.

Their time trapped in the elevator together brings to light some misunderstandings, and maybe some feelings for each other, too.

＊ like a dream but i wasn't asleep by @alwaysxlarrie [G, 2k, Louis/Harry]

It's cold outside and Harry just wants to get into his hotel room and go to bed. It should be a simple task, but it’s made more challenging by his complicated relationship with gravity, a booking mixup, and a really hot guy.

Receptionist Amy is the only victim here.

＊ Calmer Waters by zmmf / @zaynmaliksmiddlefinger [M, 9k+, wip, Zayn/Liam]

Zayn hasn’t been camping in years. Twelve years, to be exact. He’s had his reasons for avoiding the lakeside resort his family used to visit every summer, but with some perspective and his sassy companion of a dog, giving it a go again and facing all that comes with it can’t be all bad…

This has been Liam’s happy place for years; since the very first visit it felt different than all of the other lake vacations his family had bounced around to. Now, having quietly accepted his recent divorce, he wonders if this place will feel the same…

But the last thing either of them expected was to see the other here.

＊ Save Me (from myself) by Imogenlee / @imogenleewriter [E, 159k, Harry/Louis]

The problem with being friends with Liam Payne was that he had a lot of friends... and forced them to be around each other. When they finished high school, both Louis and Harry were equally relieved that they wouldn't have to tolerate each other constantly or whatever it was that they did.

For five years, it worked out perfectly. They'd only had to see each other a handful of times.

Unfortunately, Liam had to go and get engaged, ask them to both be groomsmen, and then go full groomzilla on their arses. With just twelve weeks to plan the 'perfect' destination wedding and throw every ridiculous pre-wedding celebration Liam and his fiancée stumble across, it was safe to say they were firmly back in each other's lives.

And no one could have predicted that was exactly what they needed.

＊ Tongue Tied by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf [G, 1k, Louis/Harry]

Louis’ new bestie placed a hand on his shoulder; he turned with a sway and looked into his blue eyes. ”What do you wish?” The world spun for a moment, and Louis shrugged. It was easy. The only thing he wanted. “I wish that I could tell Harry that I love him, instead of getting all tongue tied and chickening out.” The Irishman winked. “You never know, your wish may just come true.” “From your lips to God’s ears, mate.” He gave the man a hug. “I gotta go before my Uber leaves me.” He stumbled to the door, and that was the last thing he remembered from the night.

＊ I ain't ever fell from a love this tall by @beardyboyzx [G, 733 words, Zayn/Liam]

When he looks at the words, after a few seconds, Zayn feels this sort of relief feather-thrum inside of him — a brief excitement grasping him by the neck, gripping hard, as Zayn’s fingers run over the things he’s just written, admiring how they hold the true nature of his yearnings. And this weird ancestral knowledge Zayn’s got ever since he’s met Liam that first time — before One Direction, before X-Factor, when they were just fourteen and chatting awkwardly waiting for a Happy Meal. The stupid knowledge that this is it for him. That Liam is it.

＊ It's a rush inside I can't control [G, 733 words, Louis]

Wind is hitting him in the face as Louis runs, freely and carelessly, through the woods. There’s no one chasing him for once, and he’s got all the time in the world to enjoy how the soil feels under his feet.

＊ you are the magic in me [NR, 2k, Zayn/Liam]

Zayn is eight when he meets the Prince for the first time. His dad is being knighted — the King has seen the way he fought to defend his village from the enemies of the Kingdom and has decided to gift him a piece of land and a title.

＊ so pretend (pretend)  [NR, 1k, Louis/Harry]

Louis has thought about it as soon as he found out Styles was back in the Country — ever since he made sure Styles was still in England, really.

Or: the White Collar/Catch me if you can AU nobody asked for.

＊ Because I Found You by @neondiamond [G, 1k, Louis/Harry]

Louis stumbles upon a poem Harry wrote about him. A follow-up to Inner Crisis.

＊ Run To You [G, 2k, Harry/Louis]

Harry injures himself while out on a morning run. Louis comes to his rescue.

＊ A Sense of Stability [G, 1k, Louis/Harry]

Harry and Louis have a very mundane and domestic routine on mornings they get to spend together. Harry loves it.

＊ Family Bonding [G, 1k, Harry/Louis]

Louis forges a bond with his new daughter, June, over missing loved ones. Part 2 of June

＊ Little Moments [G, 429 words, Louis/Harry]

Louis’ birthday is a quiet affair this year, but it’s for good reason.

＊ You Are A Song by @lululawrence [NR, 3k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw]

To Louis, Nick felt like poetry in motion. He was a bit of chaos surrounding Louis’ otherwise monotonous days, and Louis was quickly becoming addicted.

＊ Did You Know I Fit In A Dryer?  [NR, 4k, Louis/Jordan North]

“Oi, mate!”

There was some knocking and after the voice coming from right behind him when he had clearly just seen an empty room, Jordan didn’t think he could be faulted for jumping and screaming a bit.

“Mate, can you help me open the door?”

＊ Were You There On That Christmas Night? [NR, 2k, Harry/Louis]

“Thank god you’re here,” Harry said, rushing up to Louis as he tried to have his students join the cacophony being produced by the other year twos that were already in the gymnasium.

“What’s happened now?” Louis asked, quite worried.

Or the one where Harry has some fears regarding the animals present in the school's nativity play.

＊ No Constraints [NR, 863 words, Louis/Greg James]

Louis is really not understanding this particular section of his Vector Calculus course, and his tutor doesn't seem to get what Louis is having a hard time with.

Until he does.

＊ Disenchanted (series) by @hellolovers13 [M, 25k, Harry/Louis]

Witch Harry just trying to live his life. Then there's Louis.

The Potion (Part 1)

If Harry were a calm and collected person, he would simply take the scroll back now and leave. Sadly, his mama had blessed him with lots of wonderful things, his soft curls, his biting green eyes, his magic affinity, but he had not inherited any of her patience.

So instead, he got right up in Hedgehog’s face, thrilling at the fact he had to bend down just the tiniest bit to look into his eyes.

Such a shame, too. This guy had pretty blue eyes and if he wasn't drenched in the stench of The Hunters™, he might've even made a decent fuck, but that was neither here nor there now.

or Harry is a witch minding his own business, Louis is a nuisance.

The Escape (Part 2)

Harry is still minding his own business, Louis is still annoying. Well, fine. Maybe he is the tiniest bit helpful, too.

The Healer (Part 3)

Harry is trying to-

Louis is-

He's going to make it. Harry will make sure of that.

The Curse (Part 4)

Time for Harry to confront his past. Or not?

The Heart (Part 5)

True love isn't something that was ever going to be in the cards for Harry. It finds him anyway.

＊ 1957: here to take my medicine by zita17 / @louisandtheaquarian [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]

Styles - and Louis - are esteemed members of a whole class, an entire community—fuck, it’s being called a generation—who are hellbent on hearing the sound of their own voices reciting their own words.

But this?

The heavenly nothingness that comes when Louis, with all the precision of a surgeon wielding his sharpest scalpel, separates the Harry Styles from all of his fancy words?

This silence is Louis’ greatest poetry.

See, the downside of being the heralded ‘voice of a generation’ is that the voices in Styles’ head never stop.

Except when Louis makes them stop.

Beat poets Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles blow off some steam before a reading. Very loosely inspired by Howl, Ginsberg, Cassady, Kerouac, and the asterisks in Medicine.

＊ 1967: not thinkin' 'bout you all the time [E, 8k, Harry/Louis]

It’s September 1967, the flower children have taken over the Haight, The Beatles are learning to meditate, and their American counterparts travel to an ashram on a California cliffside to do the same. Louis just didn’t expect it to be the new home of their old band member—and his ex, Harry.

When he’d left home four years earlier, Harry never expected to see his childhood friends again, and even though now they’re writing songs around the campfire in earshot of Harry’s cottage, he still doesn’t have to - he can just stay inside and keep meditating. Except that Louis keeps playing the melody of his song.

And one night, Harry breaks.

Loosely inspired by Baby Honey, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, the true story behind The Beatles’ Dear Prudence, CCR, and the countercultural revolution.

＊ 1978: i still crave it, you complicated freak  [M, 3k, Louis/Harry]

"This man is the music.

He’s the embodiment of millennia of human suffering, purging the tears of mankind through the beads of his sweat.

This is Louis Tomlinson.

And he’s fucking magnificent."

It's September 1978, and the king of glam rock, Harry Styles, sneaks into the show of a man who's defining a whole new genre called punk rock and who, okay, also happens to be his ex. Or, at least, well, it's complicated.

Inspired by Complicated Freak, Velvet Goldmine, whatever David Bowie/Mick Jagger/Iggy Pop/Lou Reed had going on, and a dash of Louis at the barricade.

＊ 1991: don't ask me to talk about [M, 5k, Louis/Harry]

In September 1991, Q&A Magazine publishes a cover story and interview with Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, the stars of the ground-breaking queer indie drama, Muse of Fire, but the real story behind their friendship isn't quite what makes it onto the glossy pages.

Inspired by Talk, My Own Private Idaho - the film and its filming, whatever River and Keanu had going on, and the underbelly of early 90s Hollywood and The Viper Room.

＊ Tell me with your mind, body and spirit by @enchantedlandcoffee [T, 479 words, Harry/Louis]

Two short drabbles in the Coach Tommo Universe about poems. Part 2 of The Coach Tommo Universe

＊ And I Can Lend You Broken Parts That Might Fit  [G, 551 words, Louis/Harry]

Louis and Harry talk about Harry's life after becoming pregnant, and a key figure in Harry's life. Part 3 of The Coach Tommo Universe

＊ Like this with a tight grip by @enchantedlandcoffee [E, 146 words, Louis/Harry]

A smutty drabble with a jealous Louis and an impromptu heart to heart. Part 4 of The Coach Tommo Universe

＊ Hold On I Still Need You  [T, 1k, Louis/Harry]

"Please pick up. Please, please, please..." Harry muttered, biting the tip of his thumb as he listened to the phone ring. You have reached the voicemail of- "Fuck!" Harry's phone dropped to his bed as he began pacing his room, mumbling to himself as he tugged at his hair. It had been four days. Four days since he had heard from him. Four days since he'd woken up to an empty bed. Four days since- No. No, he couldn't, wouldn't, think of that. He needed to be strong. If not for himself, then for Louis. He paused his pacing and stared at the phone on his bed, the blank screen almost mocking him as he debated his next move. He'd already messaged and called everyone that Louis would go to, desperate for a sign that he was okay. When that failed, he'd run around their town, visiting Louis' favourite places to go. There was one place Harry hadn't searched, that he couldn't bring himself to search just yet.

OR The one where Louis goes missing and Harry desperately tries to find him.

＊ I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life  [G, 358 words, Harry/Louis]

Vows and a kiss to seal the deal

＊ Rush Hour Crush [G, 1k, Louis/Harry]

Harry took a moment to take in his knight in shining armour. The man’s hair was swept elegantly across his face, dazzling blue eyes staring back at him. Letting his eyes wander further, he spotted a hint of a tattoo peeking out from the man’s collar and had to stifle a groan, forcing his eyes back to the man’s face. Tattoos were his weakness and he couldn’t very well embarrass himself more in front of the man. So he focused on the man’s face again. He seemed to be only a year or two older than Harry and he could immediately tell why Niall was comfortable leaving Harry with…whatever his name is. He probably should find that out at some point. That’d be good to know for a potential friend, or boyfriend.

OR An eventful meeting, a consuming crush and a meddling best friend.

＊ Come Back, My Love by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose [E, 29k+, wip, Harry/Louis]

Frank and Shelley Harper are masterminds. They’ve created a storefront to entice those with gentle hearts and a willingness to help in times of catastrophe only to capture them for their own twisted goal.

The Victory Project.

The only ones who earn any sort of ‘victory’ are Frank and Shelley. No one else wins. While they don’t know what exactly is done to or with those who join the Victory Project, David has a gut feeling that it isn’t anything good. Part 2 of The Victory Project

＊ like a moth into a flame by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed [T, 5k, Zayn/Louis]

Louis’ eyes light up. “Someone wrote a sex poem?” He ignores the way other teachers look their way, lowers his volume, but not by enough, if the narrowing of Zayn’s eyes is any indication. “Someone wrote a sex poem?” He repeats, barely able to keep from giggling. He’s twenty-seven years old and he shouldn’t be so delighted by the fact that some fifteen-year-old in Zayn’s class wrote something raunchy, but he can’t help it.

“Worse,” Zayn mutters, the dejected slump of his shoulders actually making Louis feel a little sorry for him. “Someone wrote a sex poem about me.”

＊ I'll Run (Run To You) [M, 1k, Louis/Harry]

What do people need after running a marathon?

Louis remembers the first time he Googled that, about 2.8 minutes after saying goodbye to Harry during a round of speed dating. It was probably a bit of a dickish move, considering he was already sat opposite another, presumably lovely, boy, but all it had taken was one look at Harry and he'd known.

＊ like a bridge over troubled water (I will lay me down) [T, 6k, OT5 friendship]

Zayn loves all of his friends. He just might love Liam in a different way.

Or: a love letter from Zayn to his friends, written in 4+1.

＊ (don't you ever) hope for something else [T, 5k, Zayn/Liam]

A long time ago, in the kingdom Zayn calls home, a foolish king disregarded a prophecy, sending the country into a decade-long war, nearly bringing its people to extinction.

Once the battle had finally been over and peace had been restored, once a new king had been crowned, a new law had been written into place: henceforth, from now until the end of times, no prophecy shall ever be disregarded.

Which is all fine and well, Zayn supposes, until your name is called.

＊ you try to stop it tumbling (but on and on it goes) [G, 2k, Liam & Harry]

Liam just needs to apply himself more.

Liam is smart, he just needs to work harder.

“Focus,” his father had said. “You can do this Liam. Just focus.”

But how? How can he focus when his brain isn’t letting him? When he can sit and stare at his homework for hours, unable to separate one train of thought from another, unable to get a single word onto paper?

Just do it.

That’s what he tells himself, sitting at his desk. Just do it. Just-

＊ The Lovers by @reminiscingintherain [T, 1k, Louis/Harry]

“Come inside,” an eerie voice seemed to echo from the darkness. “Come inside, and seek your destiny.”

＊ Private  [T, 2k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw]

Louis was not in the mood for a nightclub. At all. Let alone a series of them.

But, he sighed to himself, it was his fiancé’s birthday, and this was the event he had chosen.

A club crawl along Canal Street.

Or, it's Nick's birthday, and Louis doesn't want to miss it... but he's not exactly out, and things are not as easy as they should be...

＊ Dear Darlin'  [M, 2k, Niall/Olly Murs]

A series of timestamps from the headline years in Take The World By Storm Part 2 of Take The World By Storm

＊ In Chains [G, 316 words, Harry]

Stream of consciousness

＊ Are We In the Clear by asphodelknox / @iamasphodelknox [M, 1k, Louis/Harry]

England, 1256.

Louis and Harry meet across a crowded court at a time when falling in love would mean their destruction. With help from a friend, they run for their freedom.

Louis urges them on. Harry remembers.

＊ No Place I'd Rather Be [E, 29k, Harry/Louis]

Harry's had a crush on his stepfather's friend for six years. A small crush. A tiny crush.

Honestly, if you don't look at Harry's dozens of poems about Louis Tomlinson, the crush is practically infinitesimal. They haven't even had a conversation.

But then a car wreck prompts them to finally have a conversation.

Christmas works its magic, Harry pines, Louis fonds, and they just might make it.

＊ The Places I Share With You  [M, 7k, Louis/Harry]

Five times Louis comes home to Harry and one time he's ready to welcome Harry home.

The process of Louis and Harry finding home in each other.

Sequel/Coda/Epilogue to No Place I'd Rather Be. Part 2 of The Places We Share

＊ Fight For Us by @fallinglikethis [E, 11k, Harry/Louis]

Louis isn’t okay.

It’s beyond wrong, the way they’re held in a cage waiting to be chosen for mating. It’s the way it’s been all Louis’ life, but he never wanted to end up like this. He’d hoped against hope that he’d present as a beta since they don’t have these same restrictions on them. They don’t have to adhere to their biology.

And one dark night, long after all of the other omegas in the pen have fallen asleep, biology comes calling for Louis.

＊ Let Me Taste Your Silhouette by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28 [E, 4k, Louis/Harry]

Harry’s pulled out of his swirling thoughts then by the insistent buzzing of his phone again. He groans and reaches over to decline the call, except that it’s not Jeff calling this time.

It’s Louis.

Despite it being a rather warm day in London, Harry can feel the goosebumps raise on the skin of his arms. And for once he doesn’t really know what to do. For some reason, it hadn’t actually occurred to him that Louis might try to reach out.

Except that Louis is reaching out, which must mean he’s seen the picture.

(Or the one where Harry accidentally posts a picture to his main Instagram story instead of only to his close friends, and he just happens to be wearing a 28 Official Programme shirt. Louis happens to notice).

＊ Ace of Hearts by @allwaswell16 [E, 10k, Louis/Harry]

Louis Tomlinson, the alpha Duke of Yorkshire, had returned to England to stay now that he’d married and mated. But since his husband was also the omega he’d once held captive aboard his half-brother’s pirate ship, he held back from pushing Harry into parenthood.

With the Ace of Spades now docked in London, Harry spent time with his friends from the crew and remained a bit oblivious to his alpha’s deepest desires. What he was aware of was his best friend’s hurt and his mother-in-law’s wish for more than friendship with her oldest friend. Part 3 of Ace of Spades

＊ The Cats that Got the Cream by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright [M, 3k, Harry/Louis, Liam/Harry/Louis]

When Louis accidentally releases the tiger trapped in Harry's thigh tattoo, Harry has to explain not just what the fuck is happening, but that it's not just a tiger. Luckily, Louis has a secret of his own that might help.

＊ someday, girl, we’re gonna get to that place  [T, 2k, Louis/Harry]

Harry's been drawn to pantyhose since he was a kid. If only he could stop taking every snag and run personally.

＊ Shoulder ’n’ the Load  [E, 2k, Louis/Harry, Louis/Louis' band]

When Louis breaks his arm and ends up in the hospital in traction, Harry comes up with an idea to distract him from the pain and discomfort. Louis' bandmates are all too happy to pitch in.

＊ Stable Hand [M, 3k, Harry/Louis, Louis/Zayn]

Harry and Zayn are wealthy ladies of leisure who bond over their shared interests, namely: dressage and cheating on their husbands with the gorgeous young stable boy. Though they both enjoy how submissive Louis is in bed, when they learn he might have it in him to take more control in the bedroom, they decide they might like to try switching things up.

＊ The Doppel Effect  [T, 6k, Harry & Louis]

In a future where the rich and famous can use lifelike android doppelgangers to increase their reach and expand their fortunes, unauthorized use of the technology by enterprising criminals results in a sub-class of doppelgangers referred to as Forgeries.

Harry Styles lives a simple life, far from the luxurious and nefarious worlds occupied by Dops and Forgeries. At least, he's never had a reason to think otherwise. Until a mysterious stranger shows up and threatens to turn Harry's world upside down.

＊ Amenable [E, 3k, Zayn/Louis]

Zayn guides Louis through a marathon day of fucking, exploring Louis' submissive side through a series of varied constraints. Louis is game for it all, because nothing makes him feel freer than following Zayn's rules.

＊ Take Me Home by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom [E, 26k, Harry/Louis]

Louis loves his new home, up high on the mountainside, and the perfect place to write his songs. Sure, it’s isolated, but that was the point. No distractions, no interruptions. Peace and quiet and tranquillity.

But when a stranger arrives and asks if he can camp by the riverside, Louis surprises himself by agreeing without a moment's pause.

OR the story of how when you think you’ve got everything you ever wanted, life has a way of showing you just how wrong you were.

＊ Toil and Trouble by stretchmybones / @harryslonecurl [E, 3k, Louis/Harry]

Harry and Louis are sirens who suck the souls out of humans in order to make potions

＊ in the hope of open hands by @justanothershadeofblue [T, 13k, OT5]

Five times the pack is protective of omega Harry, and one time Harry protects them. Featuring Louis and Liam as alphas, Zayn and Niall as betas, and Harry’s as the band's lone omega. A year and some change in which they’re all falling for each other and not quite getting their shit together (until they do, of course).

＊ you were in my dream by staybeautiful / @harruandlou [E, 59k, Louis/Harry]

“I had a sex dream about Harry.” Louis slapped his free hand over his mouth after the words slipped out.

Zayn paused, his hand freezing as he was about to take a bite, his head snapping up to look at Louis. Louis could relate, it’s how he’d felt that morning after he’d woken up. He’d laid in bed for fifteen minutes trying to figure out what had happened, why it had turned him on so much, and then patiently waiting for his erection to go down.

“Like… my Niall’s Harry? Harry Styles?” Zayn clarified, his face bewildered as if trying to comprehend what had just happened. “Do you even like Harry?”

“His last name is Styles?”

or Louis woke up after having a sexy dream about his best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend resolved to never think about it again. He hardly knew Harry, so what difference would it make? But when they are thrown togethe r only a few days later, Louis had to admit, his subconscious might have been onto something.

＊The Park by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [G, 1k, Harry/Louis]

Harry is a student who is trying to write, but Louis would rather be sleeping tonight. Harry is struggling to find his last rhyme, though the answer may be right there the whole time. Based on this Bert and Ernie skit from Sesame Street

＊ Dirty Bunny [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]

Harry has a private kink that he likes to indulge in after Louis comes back from his runs. It’s his own dirty secret, until the day he gets caught.

＊ It's human to break, it's hum an to fall [T, 1k, Harry/Louis]

A wobbly ladder and a stubborn Louis don’t make for a good combination, and now he’s left to deal with the painful consequences. His boyfriend Harry can’t help but be annoyed that Louis didn’t listen to him, but he quickly puts aside his irritation when he realizes something else is wrong.

＊ Don't Forge Me [G, 1k, Louis/Harry]

Harry wakes up to a fruit bouquet the morning after his last night with his boyfriend. Harry knows he won’t see Louis again for a while, but when he reads the confusing note tucked amongst the melons and pineapple flowers, Harry wonders if he’ll ever see Louis again…

＊ From Now Til Forever (series) by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove [G/T, 6k, Harry/Louis]

doodles & daydreams 

Harry sits in math class and thinks about Louis. Mediocre teen love poetry is written. A dropped pen becomes a prized possession.

where no one else is

Harry and Louis became friends through watching their parents' marriages fall apart. Sometimes it's hard to believe in love when you watch it crumble. But maybe they can find a way to believe anyways.

you are my christmas

Harry wants their first Christmas together in their first home together to be perfect, something they'll remember for the rest of their lives. He gets one of those two things.

build a time machine

Louis and Harry have been planning to travel across Europe together for years, but never quite had the time or money to do it. Now they have it -- but something is still missing on the trip of a lifetime.

orange blossom

Louis comes home from work with a present for Harry -- or at least, Harry will probably love the present once he finishes being stressed about it.

[moonschildsworld]

FOREIGNER // ITOSHI RIN

a quick idea I had thinking about rin being fluent in english ^^

— in where you were hanging out in a café with your friends as the Japanese boy beside your table caught your eyes and you started thirsting over him without knowing he's actually fluent in English.

featuring: pro player!itoshi rin, x fem!reader

warning: uses of vulgar languages

rin was enjoying a break at a fairly quiet and peaceful café somewhere in the central of paris, he had some free time after his training and wanted to spend time somewhere alone and far away from his 'lukewarm' teammates.

that is until, his peace was cut off after you came in with your friends and take a seat right beside his table, eventhough there were many other free seats. rin scowls and curse mentally in his head, then he decided to just put up with it as long as you aren't disturbing him physically.

of course, to his misery you and your friends is a giggly bunch, giggling about everything and anything as you lean to whisper to each other and back up to let out annoying giggles. rin felt his blood pressure rises up the more you giggle, you were especially louder than others.

to make things even worse for him is when you started to notice him, and after, he could see from the corner of his eyes that you kept first taking glances at him then it escalates to a full checking him out, not even caring that you would be in risk getting caught staring at him. your stare was enough to make him self-conscious, like the itoshi rin, self conscious?

rin was baffled, he felt his pride slipping through as he starts feeling self conscious with your stare, it was making him feel uncomfortable when making everyone feel uncomfortable was always his role. he was about to turn to you and tell you off until

"bro, that guy is so fucking hot, I'd ride him like a cowgirl" he froze as he heard you, he couldn't believed his ears. what kind of non sense were you sprouting about some stranger you just met in a café?

disbelief was written on his face as he listens in further, "his abs must be insane, you can even see the shape from the outside" you squeal as you ramble on to your friend, rin head snaps down to glance at his abs, somehow he felt proud and smug.

"ugh bitch, I'd jump on his dick in seconds" you say dramatically with hand gesture and fluttering eyelashes. "you horny dog" rin can hear one of her friend respond to her with a disgusted tone.

rin gulps as he finally look over to you, you weren't ...bad, no he felt his breath hitched as his eyes land on you, you had the most dramatic expression on and hand gestures all over the place as you kept going on and on about how you'd 'wish to bury your head in them man-titties' 'giving the best gawk gawk 3000'

though rin was considered fluent in english you spoke of some phrases that he couldn't figure out, but he figures it would be some nasty shit considering the things you had said in the past hour. rin felt heat rushing to his face as he listens on and on about you worshipping his body and what you're trying to do with him.

after a while of listening still, he had gathered his courage to go up to you, to stop this madness. he clears his throat before walking up to your table to stand in front of you, "i could give you my number if you ask nicely"

silence... you had the most shocked expression rin had ever seen on anyone, eyes wide opened and mouth dropped open as you stare at him, "..y-you can speak e-english?!" you stutter your words out as your face flushed a bright red.

rin stares at you baffled as you bury your face onto your friend's neck to hide your face as you keep repeating, "oh fuck fuck fuck fuck i'm so fucking embarrassed I'm gonna die" as your friend hit your shoulder saying, "you crazy bitch"

rin rolls his eyes but he had a lowkey smug expression seeing the girl that was just spitting a tons of vulgar things is now too embarrassed to even face him, he snatches your phone that was on the table and type in his number in the emergency phone, "maybe you could jump me in my hotel tonight" with that, he turns his heels to exit the café without sparing back a glance.

that was 3 years ago, the fateful meeting between you and your boyfriend, he still teases the hell out you with the incident, bringing it up everytime he's losing in a battle of wits, and it never fails to leave you a blushing and embarrassed mess.

rin never understood why he did that, not to mention to a pervert weirdo like you who's dumb enough to assume someone can't speak English when they're traveling in a foreign country. But they do say, you do what you never do when you're hit with a cupid's arrow and his match just had to be a weird foreigner.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[abysscs]

OPEN TO: M / F / NB - preferably someone a little softer / less confrontational than him! premise: approx. 4 years into the apocalypse and reuven has just raided a home he believed to be empty, used the shower (how the hell was there hot water? hes not questioning it too hard) and has now just helped himself to the food in the cupboards. he also used your muse's soap and some cologne he found in the bedroom (could be your muse's or someone that lived with them ) if you'd like to start out with a fight, i'm totally down! i just ask that you don't godmod :)

There was the chirping of the morning dove, and the groaning floorboards against wind too eager, and man, disheveled, feral, standing beneath the warm cascade of shower for the first time in four years. To Reuven, this felt like some sort of spiritual experience. A rapture. He did not believe in a god anymore, but he believed in this. In the water, and how it washed his body clean, of roaming undead and guttural screams and violence so wretched it rung against eardrums hours after the fact.

This could have been the first time he'd ever felt the steam lift from his worn and tired muscles in his life, if he hadn't had memory of it. His groan was that of pure relief; of some euphoria that had been lost to him so long ago, one that could only be summoned by creature comforts. And his nails scratched at his filthy skin, embedding the soap into his pores, until the water ran brown, then red, then pink, and then clear. His bloodied and dirty clothes lay in some stinking heap on the floor beside the tub, and when the shower halted with a squeak, Reuven took a long and purposeful step over them, wrapping towel around his torso to go exploring the home. He found photos and bed sheets and, in the far closet of the master bedroom, a clean shirt and shorts. As though it were all untouched by the hands of time. And if he were any less starved, he might have stopped to think—think why? Why did this place appear to be so untouched? Had it truly not seen the horrors that awaited outside its walls, or had there been someone inside of it? Tending to its scars? But he was not any less starved. He was dazed and out-of-body, and carried his black, bloodied carbine with him as he spritzed some half-filled cologne into his neckline. Creature comforts.

And then heavy footsteps fell upon each stair, slow, taking his time, in the pursuit of kitchen. Where was it? Such a strange home, to be built upon the face of a hill, where entrance opened to the second level and the kitchen, apparently, was where he expected a basement to be. His forefinger dragged along the drywall as he went, slowly, not because he didn't care to get there any faster, but because he was so damned tired. He ached from the inside out, and when he finally reached that kitchen chair, his form fell into it with another groan, a thud, a creak. This was the first time he'd sat on anything comfortable in a long time. Dinner first, then he'd take advantage of that mattress upstairs. It had looked so inviting, for a moment Reuven wasn't sure which starvation mattered more to him: sleep or hunger? But he knew he'd sleep better with a full stomach, and to his slight surprise and whole relief, there was food. Cupboards of food. Full cupboards. He stared at the shelves, eyes glossed over with his starvation, almost unable to believe his sight. And then he began eating, right there, over the sink. He began shoveling anything chewable into his mouth and ate like ravenous dog, hardly chewing, shaking. Rapture.

His body knew before his mind did. The goosebumps ripped up his shoulders into his neck, where hairs raised, and he spun around, dark eyes wild and vicious, ready to kill. How long had they been watching him? How long had he been vulnerable?

"You got a death wish?" he called, as if it were the most natural question to ask the owner of the home he was intruding in.

[hwaightme]

Feels Like Home (part 2)

(part 1)

pairing: seonghwa x fem!reader genre: fluff, slight angst, doctor!seonghwa, graphic designer!reader, slice of life summary: What is home? Perplexed by this notion, you spent many years looking for your own answer, moving and running from your past. Your new neighbour, Park Seonghwa, might just be the key to discovery. wordcount: 4.4k warnings: language, suggestive, mentions of food, mentions of the pandemic, anxiety, mention of past abusive relationships a/n: here is part 2 <3 love and appreciate you all, thank you so much for the likes, reblogs, kind words and generally for being part of this community!

[do not answer!!!] hey

[do not answer!!!] I know you are seeing this, you have read receipts on

[do not answer!!!] Y/N… come on I just want to talk things through

[do not answer!!!] I don’t think we have ever really had a chance to go over things

[do not answer!!!] you know, understand each other’s perspectives

[do not answer!!!] Y/N! seriously give me a chance I want to just TALK

[do not answer!!!] anyways, I am on my way to your place so… I guess talk soon?

“Wait… what?” You screamed as if a scalding hot iron poked your skin. You read the message, re-read it. Checked the time it was send.

“Forty-three minutes ago… no way, he can be here any second. What the hell do I do?”

You were in a panic. Something was telling you it was too late to do anything – if he was really coming to your apartment, forty minutes would be plenty for him to get to you and hunt you down even if you were to attempt to make a run for it right this second. Besides, if he was outside, he would have probably seen your windows. Nevertheless, you rose to draw the curtains in a hurry. Your heart was pounding, and your hands went cold. You did not want to believe that one of your nightmares could just happen. And right in your complex. Just as you were about to shut off the lights for good measure and potentially lock yourself in your bathroom to wait things out and if need be, call everyone you knew, you heard knocks on your door.

Two knocks softly.

Three knocks a little stronger

Three that knocked the breath out of you.

And there it was, that voice you did not want to ever hear again.

“Hello? Y/N! I know you are in there, open up!”

You were frozen in place, staring at the entrance.

How in the world did he get past the receptionist? How did he get in at all? This cannot be happening right now…

You wanted to dissolve into thin air. Become the monstera by your window. You would even agree to become a paper towel if it meant you did not need to be in this situation. Your fingers moved on their own as they unlocked your phone and searched for the only person who knew this complex, and your apartment, as well as you did. Initially, you had typed out a ‘help’ with far too many exclamation points, but deleted it to instead send a more cryptic

[you] on your way back, could you please get dog repellent?

There was one of your habits reappearing when you least expected, vague texting – your ex enjoyed prying into your phone, no matter how locked and off limits his own was. Just as you saw Seonghwa come online, you heard the pin code to your door being pressed in, and in a matter of a click, you saw the silhouette of a man who made you feel worthless for far too long.

Shit… why did I not think to change the damn pin code? Probably because I hoped that I would not have an ex that would try to BREAK IN?

“Y/N, long time no see.”

“I wish that time lasted longer, to be honest, Minjae.”

“Honesty is the best policy.” Your ex appeared to have totally ignored the venom that instantly came pouring out of you, as you crossed your arms.

“Then let me be honest once more, I have nothing to talk to you about, and I demand that you leave this property before I call the police.” You insisted, hoping that your voice was not shaking.

Minjae had yet to set foot into the apartment, having stopped by the front door in the area where you had stored your shoes. He was suspiciously eyeing a pair of slippers you had forgotten to put away. Male. He demonstratively pushed them aside with his lacquered boot and smoothed his hair in one swift movement.

“You’re a big girl, Y/N. You know that there is no reason for me to do anything out of hand. I just came to figure some things out, see how you were doing…”

Without asking for permission, he kicked his shoes off, faking his respect for your apartment and for you, and lazily walked down the small corridor, all the way into the kitchen dining area. You were still in the same place, with the television to your left. The contrast between you two was hilarious – him every bit a sleazy wannabe businessman, looking like he had just gotten off work and ‘happened to be in the area’; you in a dusty pink sweater and sweatpants combo, fluffy socks on. Every bit the domestic queen. And with each second that past, you were growing more convinced that there was a chance you might not come out into tomorrow in one piece. Danger was written all over this man.

Minjae unceremoniously dragged a chair and fell onto it. He gestured for you to join him, and when you refused, he cackled, and spat:

“What, would you prefer to sit on my lap instead?”

You had to bite your tongue to supress the myriad of retorts that immediately bubbled up.

“So, how have you been, Y/N?”

“Couldn’t be better, thanks.”

“That’s the effect I have on people I guess, thanks I appreciate it.” He teased, very pleased with himself. Your blood was boiling while you remained an immovable statue, burning holes in your uninvited guest.

Disgusting. You felt filthy. And to recall that this was the man who you had given three years of your life to made you want to break everything in your vicinity and shout from the rooftop at the Seoul skyline. This was the man who had the chance to exploit you as he saw fit, and you thought that it was a normal part of a relationship… oh how wrong you were. And how glad you were that all that time ago, while still together, you had the bright idea to move. You had been in a situation that was similar to that of a mouse running around a trap. Had you agreed to move in with him, it would have been over, and you were sure of it.

He had been a manipulative bastard, giving you love only when he wanted to, and other days would hold you at a painful distance, leading your mind astray. Knowingly he had induced your conjuring up delusions that there was a chance he was very much in love with you and was serious. You were embarrassed to had been stringed along for such a grand period of time. Was it narcissism that motivated him? Perhaps – he did not enjoy your company, but he did enjoy the attention that you gave him, and how at any social event it was obvious that he was the apple of your eye. You had a way of making him feel more special than any other bitch he would pick up for a night when he had business trips or was staying late. The innocent adoration that you had been a temple for was addictive, and he could not help but want to take all of that adoration for himself.

Hence, he had pulled and pushed you around like a toy, until a silly error had defined the end of his reign. Truth be told, had you not walked in on him and another random chick he had picked up for some fun, he would have just continued as is and tried luring you back to the neighbourhood where you used to live, and right into his paws. You were more malleable when you had been vulnerable and always scared of something. He had come to state that it was your charm.

It was that you had been already growing distant and he was on edge. To get his mind straight again, he had to have all his needs satisfied, and since you were not as readily available as he had trained you to be before, he had to search a little bit harder for someone else, not that it was too much of a challenge. Minjae was a man confident in his looks and his abilities to show off his money and power, though he did not have much of it. You knew best that in reality, he was on the lower ranks of the food chain at some wealth management firm and did everyone else’s bidding. So outside of work, he took that out on you. How damn romantic.

It had been an unplanned trip. You had been looking for a panini maker you had been gifted a couple of years ago, and your memory led you to go check at your at the time boyfriend’s place for it. Who would have guessed that a panini maker was the bringer of truth and turmoil? And an unpleasant sight of another woman’s bare ass and animalistic grunts resounding in his apartment. Minjae had known it was you instantly, and although he was disappointed, a part of him was oddly turned on by the experience of being caught by you, the innocent and loyal lamb, so while you crept into the kitchen, one hand blocking him and his temporary lover from your field of vision, he pretended not to have noticed.

When the woman who you had never seen before in your life, and Minjae had never contacted again finally had come to realise that there was a figure moving about behind here, only then did Minjae go through the routine of covering up, attempting to waddle after you and bellowing “this is not what you think, Y/N”. It gave him an odd sense of achievement, like he had finally come to this milestone that he had discussed so many times over alcohol-fuelled parties with his colleagues. It was your reaction that had left a sour taste. Panini maker in hand, you merely smiled at him, and said “good luck, mister Lee. We be better strangers.” And that was it. You had left in the blink of an eye, leaving his mouth agape and a script’s worth of dramatic monologues left unsaid.

It was the indifference that had slowly driven him mad. All he wanted now was to see some reaction out of you. Something more than a sigh or a glare. No, something bigger. He wanted to see you lose your mind, just like you had unknowingly done to him by simply walking away. So while in your apartment, on your chair, staring at a changed and seemingly happier you, he was ready to do all he could to tear you apart.

“Who is the lucky guy?” Minjae inquired, gesturing at the corridor. You tilted your head. “The slippers…?” he elaborated, amused by this twinge of jealousy, or more likely, the idea that someone who he was trying to make his possession was very much not his.

“Oh.” You voiced, not giving way to any emotion.

“Oh, what? You have a pretty voice, darling, use it.”

You were wishing on every star in the sky for this torturous encounter to stop.

The aforementioned lucky guy, upon having received the mystical text from you was trying to process its meaning. He was at checkout of the supermarket in your neighbourhood when his phone buzzed, and you had never normally texted in the hours when he was meant to be heading home, so it was entirely unexpected. Deciding that whatever product you were implying needed a bit more elaboration, he put his phone away to finalise the payment and head out.

Once Seonghwa was back out on the street and commenced the final stretch of his journey home, it finally hit him. In recent times there had been one particular person whose entire existence you had concentrated into a series of colourful terms with first character being ‘gae’ (dog) in them. And that one person was… ta-da, your ex.

“There is your chance Seonghwa. Stop being dense and do something. SPEED UP!” he heard his best friend’s voice echoing around him. Manifesting a cry for action. He clenched his fists, and ran like his life depended on it, you on his mind.

His track and field experience had come in handy for the first time since finishing university, with him covering the distance in record time. He had noted that your curtains were drawn, but he could make out a light still on – Seonghwa could not help but feel his worry spike. How were you? Were you holding your ground? What if the time he wasted in the store was critical.

Swinging open the doors to the building, he stormed past a flabbergasted receptionist, only to pause and turn, and forcing an unnaturally polite tone to combat the anger he had accumulated. Today of all days the regular grumpy-looking guard was nowhere to be seen, instead substituted by a timid, tiny lady in her late sixties.

“Excuse me madam, did a young man pass by not too long ago? Not a resident here, went to the ninth floor?”

“Um… why yes… Yes, I believe so… He even greeted me, what a nice young man.”

“Lovely. Well, thank you very much for the information. I am so sorry for shocking you, but he is highly dangerous, and has been harassing one of the residents. I would appreciate it if you could alert security to restrict his access in some way. If a couple of the guys could come to apartment number 907 in the next five or so minutes, it would be much appreciated.”

And on that note, he heard the elevator ping and departed from the receptionist’s desk, leaving her open-mouthed and pale-faced. Why were these boxes of steel so slow when you least wanted them to? Seonghwa tried to level his breathing. He tried to think of everything in medical terms, forming analogies in his head, settling himself into a headspace where he had control. Once out, he stepped out and listened. Nothing yet, so perhaps not too bad? Who was he kidding, he had already imagined at least one thousand scenarios of where things had turned to the worst.

He shuffled forward stealthily, knowing that any heavy footsteps could be heard from the apartments. Four seconds and he was at your door. Now, he heard a male voice. So that was him… the man who you had to spend time getting over. The man who had made you forget what love was. Seonghwa was not going to give you back to that nightmare. He did not have any plan but hearing your raised voice and making out something along the lines of “don’t… get away” and “stay where you are” had him unlock your door and slam it open with no scenario, no operation plan, no ideas. Best he could do was be there for you and be with you.

Seonghwa had crossed the entrance to your apartment at exactly the right time. Minjae had stood up and was about to grab your wrist after you had snapped at him to mind his business and leave. The man was nonplussed, his hand still hovering in mid-air. This gave you ample chance to step away and race towards your saviour. Mouthing your gratitude to him, you used every ounce of your remaining power to not let the waterworks start – as soon as you laid eyes on the young doctor you merely wanted to give yourself space to cry. You mused how his embrace would feel, and if you could melt into it. You wanted to get away from your old self, who was made small and helpless by repeated torment. Your past had caught up to you, but a wave of clarity overtook you.

Seonghwa’s dishevelled hair that still gracefully framed his face, the bead of sweat that was about to run down it, the bag in his hand and, most importantly, the warrior’s stance and glare, all of him looked like a future you wanted to write into the present. Despite that the time was not right for sentimentalities, you understood what drew you to Seonghwa, and why you entrusted him with what could be your life. He felt like home.

“Hi! You brought the groceries I see! Thank you so much, seriously.”

“Who in the… is this the-” Seonghwa heard the man, still in the living room, begin. Think fast, ah to hell with it, all or nothing.

“No problem, love. I missed you.” You were stunned as your handsome neighbour reached out with his right arm and pulled you into a quick hug.

With the trench coat he was wearing being unbuttoned, you ended up being pulled under it as though it was a blanket, and pressed flush against Seonghwa’s chest. Your cheeks flared up, and you could bet on the fact that your face was probably turning a bright red. The cotton sweater he was wearing was soft and gentle, though not to the same level as the hand that was gently caressing your back, thumb moving in repetitive calming motions. You were drifting away, focusing on Seonghwa’s erratic heartbeat. How was he so outwardly collected? After the initial shock passed, you wrapped your own arms around his torso, snaking them under the coat, feeling him stiffen for a split second. This was not how neither you nor he imagined your first more intimate embrace to go, but… desperate times call for desperate measures?

“Stay by me, okay?” he whispered almost right into your ear. You nodded, not wanting to break contact.

“Ahem.” The walking red flag was demanding an audience once more, leading to you turning your body slightly, but still not fully letting go, one arm around Seonghwa.

“Yes?” Seonghwa countered the empty sound, setting the shopping bag on the stool by the entrance.

“So, you are the guy huh.”

“The guy?”

“The guy I was trying to inquire after, but Y/N here would not crack. Great to see you in person, more than I could ask for really.”

“I am afraid I cannot share your happiness, mister…”

“Call me Minjae. We are closer than you think. You see, Y/N and I-”

“I’d suggest you stop and leave our apartment this instant.” He emphasised, ready to open the door right back.

“I think you would want to hear this. You know who I am?”

Minjae had moved from his position in the living room closer to you and Seonghwa, inching forwards like some beast.

“And for that exact reason, I am asking you, politely, to leave.” He persisted, taking him and yourself aside to be at least a fraction further away from your personal monster.

The two men stared each other down, as Minjae pushed his feet into his shoes, having figured out that he would not be able to do much to you while you were protected by this newcomer. Least he could was spit some toxicity while he still could. So when he noted that Seonghwa had taken part of his attention away to listen out for something behind the door, Minjae gave you a dirty smirk and blurted:

“What an honour! So, tell me, does she still cry when she orgasms?”

It all happened very quickly.

How Seonghwa removed his arm from your shoulders. How in the blink of an eye his fist connected with your ex’s solar plexus, with such momentum that you swore you saw some recoil. Minjae’s eyes rolled back as he doubled over in pain, gasping for air. Livid, Seonghwa grabbed the door handle and threw it open, exiting and dragging Minjae behind him. Once out in the corridor, he dropped his voice to a low hostile tone and hissed:

“Listen here. Whatever your motivations are, you look like a guy who I would have to treat at work. And believe me, I know full well how to dissect and take scum like you apart. And if you dare ever be even within a five-kilometre radius of Y/N, I will ensure that your outcome is a plethora of diagnoses.”

For the first time, you could see real fear in your ex’s eyes, and them welling up, be it due to the lack of air or due to him not expecting to meet someone who could equally act like a gangster when the situation demanded. Truthfully, you were in awe of Seonghwa too. The precious image of a nerdy doctor and boy next door was very much gone, instead replaced by a strikingly handsome, alluring and dependable man. His demeanour changed once more as two security guards appeared from the elevators and commenced their routine questioning all the way across the corridor.

Pushing Minjae’s back for him to stand up straighter, Seonghwa forced his weakened form into the grasps of the guards, explaining what had unfolded.

“And who are you?”

“I live in-”

“-My boyf-”

“-in apartment 904.”

“Oh cool. Good neighbour, well, have a nice night.”

You covered your mouth. What in the world were you thinking when you let that fall out? What had provoked you? You were praying that Seonghwa had not heard you as you turned around to head back into your apartment. He followed you, once confirming that the intruder was taken care of and seeing the floor number on the lift come to a standstill, far away from you.

When he entered your abode and took off his coat and shoes, he found you in the kitchen, storing the items he had bought, but setting aside the bbungyeoppang. He disappeared in your bathroom to wash his hands, making you initially believe that your outburst was going to go unnoticed.

Only when you had set two plates on the coffee table, adamant on not touching the chair and dining table for the time being, and you sat together, side by side, did he lean back, stretch his arms out, and muse out loud, with a cheeky expression:

“Your boyfriend, huh? Doesn’t sound too bad. I like it.”

“It was out of bounds, sorry, I didn’t mean it.” You mumbled, looking down at your lap. Seonghwa was observing you, eyes half-lidded.

“Could you look at me?” as gentle as ever, he asked. You dared to lean back a bit and turn your head, encouraged by the brilliant man’s hand being placed over yours.

“Do you mean, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing to make your ex jealous?”

“Oh no. God, no! I… well. Uh. I am cornered here, aren’t I?”

“Yep. But trust me, no matter what you are about to say, know that I will respect it to the fullest, okay?”

He gulped. Fate was not joking around today. Had he known that he would be in this situation even five hours ago he would have laughed at the messenger. Patiently, he waited for you to say what had been running through his mind for far too long, and moved to look at you directly, a mere few centimetres away.

“How do I even… Okay. Two points. Firstly, I would never use you. And secondly, now… it is only you. Only ever you. Seonghwa. I cannot describe how infatuated I am with you, Seonghwa. Ever since we met, something told me, this was it. This was what I was looking for-”

He need not hear more.

“Y/N, may I kiss you?”

“Yes, please.”

Resting one hand on your waist he leaned over to close the gap between you, giving into the paradise that was ‘the now’. Both of you were smiling into the kiss, tasting euphoria and the inimitable feeling that came with the realisation that you were there for one another, and that it was not going to change.

His kiss was like the golden hour, a tender light worshipping your every breath. A slow serene delight, with each touch leaving you basking in a magical glow. Time did not exist, lost to his soft lips. Perfectly in sync, loving Seonghwa was effortless, translating from the little acts of service to the wondrous whole you had kindled. His other hand, which had moved to your nape, guided you. Seeing further closeness, Seonghwa settled back into the sofa, pulling you with and onto him, breaking apart for a moment to ensure that you were comfortable. He allowed himself to seek you once more only once you had given him a nod and a breathy confirmation. Curious and relishing in your personal sunshine, you explored one another, testing the limits of the present. Your fingers found his onyx locks, and gave them a light tug, mind going into overdrive as you heard him stifle a moan.

Even as your moves got lazier, with the intensity of the initial contact being replaced by simple glee, the love did not subside. Never did something feel quite so right. Reminiscent of late spring when the days were beginning to get warmer, when nature showed its beautiful colours, flora in full bloom. Seonghwa trailed your jawline and neck by peppering kisses, rays of sunshine onto your skin. You drew yourself back to take the scene in. His swollen lips, glinting eyes and stunning profile were irresistible. Above all you were here. You were his, and he was yours. As if reading your mind, he took you into his arms and embraced you with the passion of someone who was terrified of losing it all. He nuzzled into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent, memorising you.

Soon enough, both of you were lying down on the sofa, unwilling to move apart, legs a tangled mess. His index finger was drawing abstract shapes on the small of your back, while you were quietly listening to the now more level beating of his golden heart. Suddenly, he stopped. Your eyes fluttered open.

“A penny for your thoughts?” you asked, barely audible.

“Well, anything for my girlfriend.” He chuckled to himself after saying the title out loud, proud. “I was just thinking back to the time we first met. You remember? Dead of night, us channelling our inner shadow people. When we then sat and talked through until morning, I felt as though I had found my world.”

Bashful, you hid your megawatt grin as Seonghwa hugged you tighter.

You were home.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #243

What do you want for your birthday? I think I'll get a piercing, but my mind could very well change by then.

What’s your favorite flavor of tea? I hate tea.

What’s your favorite fall drink? Hot chocolate.

What’re you going to be for Halloween? I'm not dressing up. Don't have the money to buy a costume, don't have the motivation to make one. I also don't do anything.

Do you think you’ve learned a lot and grown a lot in the past year? I don't know. I've just struggled a lot the past year. There was around a two-month period where I was in my worst mental state since the start of '17, and I've only barely improved.

Are you satisfied with how you’ve spent your year? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Again, I've struggled. I've been particularly upset that I haven't done a photoshoot since LAST November. That was my last one. I've barely touched my camera. The few pictures I've taken, I haven't liked enough to really do anything with.

Do you have a lot of friends? No.

Do you own a yellow scarf? I don't.

Do you own anything leopard print? No, not a fan.

Will you buy a cake for your next birthday? I mean, *I* won't, but Mom probably will, unless she makes one.

Are you excited for something currently? I'm looking forward to playing more of the Silent Hill 2 remake with Girt.

If you could change just one thing about your life right now, what would it be? I just wish I was in a mentally better place. It would help me with a lot of other things.

What’s your favorite color? Pink, particularly lighter hues.

Are you artistic? I think so. I just wish I exercised that more often.

When was that last time you drew a picture in a sketchbook? A few months ago.

Is there a tree right outside your bedroom window? There is, actually. Crape myrtle tree.

Have you ever dressed up as a witch on Halloween? I have.

Have you ever been to a masquerade? No.

Do you eat vegetables? I mean, I do, but not often or with much diversity at all. I tend to not enjoy vegetables.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? There are people in their 50s I find hot lmao

Did anything bad happen to you in August? It was either July or August when my anhedonia just got so, so much worse and I REALLY struggled to get through the day.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Girt.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die? No. I may not like her, at all, but no.

Do any girls like the last guy you kissed? I mean possibly? I trust Girt, though.

Have you done anything sexual today? No, it's actually been a HOT hot minute, just because I haven't been in the mood. Girt doesn't push me or complain about it, even if I have my times of worrying about not giving him enough.

Do you have a second mom? I mean, I have a stepmom. I don't see her as a "mom" to me though, my dad remarried when I was basically an adult, and besides, she's a massive fucking bigot so I struggle to bond with her properly. We're perfectly mannerly with one another, but knowing the shit she believes, it's hard to actually love her. But she makes my dad happy, and that matters to me.

Other than your name, what was the last name someone called you? Ozz. Derivative of the screenname I usually use.

If you could find one long lost friend of the past, who would it be? Megan. I shouldn't care about her, but I do.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? I had different teachers for each class in middle school. I remember my math teacher was a male, maybe others, my middle school memories are foggy.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled? My wisdom teeth, which I only had two of.

Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair.

Have you ever eaten something other people might think is gross? Sure. People hate hot dogs (even I think the concept's gross), but I like them.

When was the last time you colored with crayons? Probably sometime during a psych hospital stay.

When you were a kid, who was your best pal? Varied with grade/age. There was Brianna, Kim, Jenna, Quiata...

Have you ever been to a nursing home? Visited, yes. That's where Girt's grandma is.

Do you own any board games? Somewhere.

Were you born in the state you live in? Yes.

Have you ever lived in a house that has been broken into? No, thank fuck.

Who do you know that watches the most sports? God, probably some AWFUL in-law of Ashley's. He's such an ass, he literally comes into her house and immediately demands she turns "the game" on. I can't even remember exactly who he is, but Ash can't stand his ass, he's so rude.

Have you ever been 4-wheeling? I have.

Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? Next November my younger sister gets married, but that's not exactly the very NEAR future.

Do you live anywhere near the woods? Tragically no.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? Mine and Girt's.

What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? I don’t drink energy drinks.

Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? I did growing up. At around 17 or 18 it stopped being a big thing.

What will be the next concert you attend? Hell if I know.

Can you rap? There ain't no way in hell I could.

What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? Quarter pounder or McDouble, fries, Coke.

Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? No, I really can't. I got my lobe piercings at Claire's, which is very unprofessional, and I think they pierced too low, especially my left lobe, because the hole tore quite badly to where the hole has very nearly torn through. Dangling earrings make it worse, I think.

Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? Mostly, I think. But it can get overwhelming, and I CERTAINLY don't know everything.

Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt. Probably this time I had the stomach virus super fuckin' bad, puked a lot to where barely bile would come up, and my abdominal muscles were in a lot of pain.

Any important birthdays coming up? My boyfriend's nephew's bday is next month, I go to his birthday parties.

Fireworks: yay or nay? Fireworks shouldn't be legal. They disturb the hell out of animals (some animals LITERALLY die from fear), people with trauma too, and they cause waste. It's not worth it.

Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? Charlotte.

Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? Fuck Twitter.

Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! I have not. I wouldn't call them scary, but their undersides can be a bit creepy with all the legs moving.

Do you like people watching and is it something you do often? If so, where are your favorite locations to do so? Not really, I just don't care.

The last time you ate leftovers, what was it that you were eating? Pizza.

What is your favorite board that you've made on Pinterest? Rammstein pics lmao

Do you get on Facebook or Instagram more? Facebook.

What was the last thing you ate or drank that was blue raspberry-flavored? Mountain Dew Voltage.

What was the last song you listened to? I'm not sure.

Have you discovered any new hobbies in the past couple months? No.

What's the wildest animal you've ever come in contact with? I'm not sure.

Do you ever question if your mother loves you? No.

What is your favorite type of Lunchables? The nachos one.

Are any of your siblings' friends like family to you? No.

Do you have any friends who you exchange memes with? Ha, Girt.

Are you in any Discord servers? How often do you use them? I'm actively in a meerkat RP one. I'm also in the Rammstein server that is primarily the Tumblr fanbase, but I'm not active there because it's too active for me to keep up, I get overwhelmed.

Have you ever had to see an emergency vet after hours? I don't think so?

When was the last time you sat under a blanket on a couch? I dunno, it's been a long time.

Can you bite into ice cream or are your teeth too sensitive? I can.

Do you know anyone who's been bitten by a snake? Maybe at one point or another.

Do you prefer strawberries or cherries? I hate cherries, meanwhile strawberries are my favorite fruit.

Biggest insecurity? My weight.

Describe your mom with one word. Selfless.

Do you like fast food or does it disgust you? I HATE how much I tend to enjoy fast food. I know it's not good for you, but.

Who was the last person you kissed? Girt.

What’s your favourite alcoholic drink? Sangrias.

Do you like the smell of BBQs? I like the smell, but hate the taste of southern BBQ. I know elsewhere a "barbecue" just means burgers and hot dogs on the grill, which I like, but southern BBQ is garbage to me, I can't eat it.

Do wasps scare you? Yes.

Have you ever worn flip flops in the snow? I sure have lmfao. Not very heavy snow, though. And I wouldn't if I was STAYING in the snow for more than a minute.

Have you ever heard people having sex in the next room? Yes.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Thank fuck no.

Have you ever lost your voice? Yes. This happened bad the first time I had Covid.

Did you ever have an emo or scene phase? Emo, yes.

Could you see yourself having a child with the last person you kissed? We don't want kids.

Which of the guys you’ve been interested in hurt you the most? Jason.

Do you know anyone who is engaged? Yes, my younger sister is among them.

What are you listening to? A John Wolfe let's play of Red Dead Redemption 2.

What was the last thing you looked up on Google? How to get the "Leave" ending in the SH2 remake to see if it's changed from the base game and just as a reminder since there are multiple factors. When Girt and I played the OG, I aimed us for "In Water" since it's my favorite, so I want him to see a new one.

Ever been kissed on the leg? I mean probably.

Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? I very firmly believe I could never survive living solely on my own for many reasons.

Are you friends with someone who’s autistic? Yes.

Have you ever had a Big Mac? No, considering I don't like lettuce on my burgers.

[nakitengoku]

oc interview: 💙Vex💙

Shoutout to @mail-me-a-snail for tagging me in this post and also egging me along with getting into Cyberpunk 2077 and subsequently creating Vex 💫

(I don't have a single good photo of Vex so you instead get the Compilation of sillies I've drawn, many featuring Snail's Vance!)

💙 Name?

"Name's Vex, but call me anything you like."

💙 Nickname?

"Some people used to call me V, but that was a while ago."

He used to be called Ghost when he was younger, being able to slip into the background unnoticed at any moment, but he later grew out of that. When he eventually adopted the name V, it was less of a nickname and more of a stage name. It's mostly forgotten now, but some hardcore fans will still recognize and call him V.

💙 Gender?

"Prettyboy 💖"

💙 Star sign?

"Oh, I used to be really into these! If I remember right, My sun and moon are both Libra. Missy could probably tell you more about what that means though."

I decided to take one out of Max's book and use the first time i drew him as his birthday, which if we're going by the absolute first concept, was September 26, 2022. He's changed a Lot since then. Also, reading up on libras with Vex in mind is just 💥

💙 Height?

".....5'8."

He's actually 5'7 and a half.

💙 Orientation?

"Anyone able and willing. Why, you interested?"

If he cared enough about labels, it'd probably be pansexual. But by the end of the day, he doesn't really care what he gets called. As long as he gets what he wants out of it, anything's fine.

💙 Nationality/Ethnicity?

"White."

💙Favorite Fruit?

"Oh man, okay so I've only had it once at an after party forever ago, but it was this round, redish purple thing. When I bit into it, it was a little tart at first, but the inside was such a sweet taste that I was in heaven. By the time I finished and threw the pit away, there were no more left and I nearly cried. I haven't seen it since and I can't remember the name but man. Best organic thing I've ever tasted."

If you give this man a plum, he'd kill someone for you. Which isn't a lot given that that's his job, but still. He'd do it without expecting to be paid in money.

💙 Favorite season?

"Fall, for sure. While I was in Atlanta, they had these parks with trees that would change their colours to these gorgeous shades of reds and oranges. God, kinda makes me wish I could grow something like that here."

I don't actually know the plant life in Nevada or how much the temperature differentiates between the seasons in Night City, but I imagine that what shrubbery they do have there have leaves that are always green or simply non-existent. Vex saw a plant change colour outside of blooming and immediately fell in love with it.

💙 Favorite flower?

"Officially, Lilacs. But between you and me, I'm very partial to forget-me-nots."

He used to be gifted Lilacs all the time during his first career by Jonathan, his producer, but Vex always found himself enjoying the little forget-me-nots that acted as accent flowers than the actual lilacs themselves.

💙 Coffee, tea or Hot chocolate?

"Hot chocolate. Although, I will drink coffee in a pinch."

This man has the biggest sweet tooth. The amount of sugar he puts in his coffee before he chugs it down for the caffeine should be illegal. [I cannot judge bc I am the same way <3]

💙 Average hours of sleep?

'We talking Mean, Median or Mode?"

It varies so much that the actual average ends up being about 6, but um. Do not be fooled into thinking he's actually sleeping 6 hours every night. Think more along the lines of several all-nighters followed by crashing super hard for a day or two.

💙 Dog or cat person?

"Oh, a cat person. I'm just not home enough for a dog."

💙 Dream trip?

"I saw a pamplet once of Crater Lake in Oregon. It was something about the ten deadliest lakes in the world or something, but I'm just into how Blue it is. If I could, I'd visit the rest of those lakes too, but. Eh, I doubt it."

💙 Favorite Fictional Character?

"Hmm, it's a toss up between a side from this really long and old comic from the 2010's and the protagonist from a just as long manga from the 2000's. I think their names were Kanya and Ruffy? It's been 15 years though so don't quote me on that."

It's Kanaya from homestuck and Luffy from One Piece. He likes Kanaya because of her fashion sense and her dealing with the responsibility of her entire species on her shoulders. And he likes Luffy for his optimism and stubbornness. At one point, he imagined finding friends like Luffy did, being surrounded by so much devotion. The reasoning has since faded and he just barely remembers much about them now.

💙 Number of Blankets you sleep with?

"Eight. I like the weight and warmth."

His AC bill is through the fucking roof but he refuses to take a single blanket off, instead insisting on just making the rest of the room freezing. Giving him a weighted blanket wouldn't fix it, but he'd probably go down to five instead of eight.

💙 Random fact?

"When i was really little, my mom used to take me to a church. Don't think it exists any more, but I remember the Stain glass windows, how the light shone through and fell onto her. In normal lighting, I remember her looking pale a sickly, but once a week, with a statue of a half-god watching over us, my mother glowed. She was gorgeous.

"Anyway, I stopped going after she died. For a while it was because I never remembered what day it was, but later it was because I realized I only ever went to see my mom glow."

~~

Thank you for tagging me, Max! This was much longer than what i thought when i was getting into it but I'm still glad I did it.

I can't think of anyone specific who'd want to do this, so if you see this and want to give it a try, please do and tag me! I'd love to see your little blorbos :)

[mothguillotine]

III.

As soon as the doors open, you all rush into the CDC. You make sure that Jesse, Gracie, and Adi all make it inside the building.

“Daryl, you cover the back.” Shane tells him.

“Hello? Hello?” Rick asks into the building.

“Close those doors. Watch for walkers.” Dale tells you.

“Hello?” Rick asks the man now standing in a doorway. He is holding a rifle in his hands.

“Anybody infected?” the doctor asks.

“One of our group was. He didn't make it.” Rick tells him.

“Why are you here? What do you want?” the doctor asks.

“A chance.” Rick responds.

“That's asking an awful lot these days.” the doctor says back to him.

“I know.” Rick tells him.

“You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission.” says, looking at all of you.

“We can do that.” Rick tells him.

“You got stuff to bring in. You do it now.” the doctor tells you, “Once this door closes, it stays closed.”

Everyone runs outside, grabbing all of their belongings. You and Jesse grabbed the bags of your belongings before following the rest of the group into the building again.

“VI, seal the main entrance. Kill the power up here.” the doctor says to whoever VI is.

“Rick Grimes.” Rick introduces himself to the doctor.

Once everyone is back inside of the building from grabbing their things, you follow the doctor into an elevator.

“Dr.Edwin Jenner.” the doctor introduces himself as.

“Doctors always go around packing heat like that?” Daryl asks Jenner.

“There were plenty left lying around. I familiarized myself.” Jenner tells you, “But you look harmless enough. except you, I'll have to keep my eye on you” he says specifically to Carl.

All of the group follow Dr. Jenner into a room where he sits all of you down to draw blood. When it's your turn you take off the flanel you were wearing to make it easier for him to take your blood. After you it's Jesse’s turn, and while it's no secret to you, everyone is very amused when they find out about Jesse’s fear of needles.

“It’s very rational, there is something underneath your skin taking blood from you. It’s horrible to think about.” he tells the group after he sees them laughing. After Jesse is done it's time for Andrea.

“What's the point? If we were infected,we'd all be running a fever.” Andrea asks Jenner.

“I've already broken every rule in the book letting you in here. Let me just at least be thorough.” He says before continuing to draw her blood, “All done.”

As she stands up she nearly falls over from lack of nutrients before Jacqui catches her.. You all have not had a true meal in days and it's starting to show.

“Are you okay?” Jenner asks Andrea. Andrea only hm’s in response.

“She hasn’t eaten in days. None of us have.” Jacqui informs Jenner.

After hearing the news about your lack of food Jenner tells you that there is a kitchen full of food. You all don’t waste any time preparing food for the lot of you. Specifically pasta and wine. Things that you could only dream of tasting again. All of you have a great time, watching Carl try wine for the first time, all of you making jokes.

“Most of the facility is powered down including housing so you'll have to make do here. The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like.” Jenner tells you leading the group down a hall with many different rooms, “There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy. Just don't plug in the video games, okay? Or anything that draws power. The same applies—if you shower, go easy on the hot water”

“Hot water?” Glenn asks.

“That's what the man said.” T-Dog responds.

“Where?” you ask him.

So there you were standing under the hot water letting it run over your blood stained skin.

Everything about this place felt too good to be true. You knew it, you knew that at least one other person would be thinking it as well. You wished that your gut was wrong and that Gracie and Adi would finally be safe somewhere.

When you get out of the shower a few minutes later you follow laughter into the rec room. The freshly clean Sophia, Carl, Adi, and Carol are all sitting on the couches together.

“Finally being clean is a relief.” you tell Carol, “I was getting tired of the whole bloody look.”

“Yeah, getting all of the dirt out of my hair was amazing.” she tells you laughing.

You find yourself going over to the books, picking out a few you sit down in a chair near the others and start reading.

“Any good books?” Lori asks when she walks into the room.

“A few, but nothing like the books I used to have back at my apartment.” you tell her.

“What? No good romance?” she asks you.

“Sadly they have an abundance of those I'm talking about ghost stories.” you tell her.

“Really? You don’t take me as the type to like ghost stories.” she confesses to you.

“Well I guess i'm just a surprising character.” you tell her grinning.

She then leaves with Carl and a bit after that Carol leaves with Sophia. So then it’s just you and Adi.

“What are you reading?” Adi asks you.

“I am reading Lord of the Flies.” you tell her.

“What is it about?” she asks you.

“It’s about boys who have to learn to live on an island together.” you tell her, leaving out all of the death and symbolism of the devil.

“Can you read it to me?” she asks you.

“You know what Adi, It’s getting late. You should get ready for bed and go to sleep.” you tell her, “Maybe I will read it to you tomorrow.”

“I don’t wanna go to sleep.” she says, “I’m not even tired.”

You both sit in silence for a while while you read. Until she breaks the silence.

“Are we safe?” she asks you.

“I- I think so. There are walls and security.” you reassure her even though you don’t believe it yourself.

“I hope we are safe. All of us.” she tells you before yawning.

A few minutes later you look over to find her asleep on the couch. You continue to read the book until your eyes are burning with how tired you are.

“It’s late, why aren't y'all in bed.” Daryl asks you coming into the room.

“Adi said she wasn’t that tired,” you tell him, “besides if this doesn’t last long I don’t wanna regret sleeping through the time we were here.”

“You dont think this will last long?” he asks you.

“I think it's too good. Hot water, food, beds, security.” you tell him, shaking your head, “I wanna believe that we all can live here but this is too good, and not enough bad.”

He thinks for a moment while you stand up grabbing the few books you found, putting them in a bag.

“I don’ trust it either,” he says, agreeing with you.

“I guess we should enjoy it while we have it. You should take a shower while we are here.” you add on by saying, “I bet you don’t clean up bad.”

“Yeah, whatever.” he says leaving the room, hopefully to follow your advice and take a shower.

You go over to the room where Jesse and Gracie are asleep, to grab a few blankets and pillows for you and Adi. When you go back into the room you find that Adi already has a blanket and pillow. Someone put some for you while you were out of the room.

“Good night Adaline,” you tell her, kissing the top of her head, “don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

The next morning you find the group making breakfast. T-Dog is making eggs that aren't actually eggs, everyone is laughing and talking again like the night before. Many people have hangovers from the long night of drinking.

“Don’t ever ever ever let me drink again.” Glenn repeats himself to reveal just how important him not drinking is.

You also notice that Daryl in fact took your advice to shower and he doesn't look like a pig. You were also right about him looking better after showering. You walkover to where the coffee is and pour yourself a cup. Even after sleeping in compared to the rest of the group you still are tired and need more energy.

“Hey, Doc.” Shane greets Jenner.

“Doctor. I don’t mean to slam you with questions first thing-” Dale starts.

“But you will anyways.” Jenner finishes.

“We didn’t come here for the eggs,” Andrea tells Jenner.

Jenner then leads you into the main room with dozens of different monitors and a larger screen on the wall.

“Give me a playback of TS-19.” Jenner tells VI.

“Playback of TS-19.” VI annonces to the group.

The group of you watch the screen and see a scan of a head. You watch as the head slowly dies. The brain that was once glowing becomes dark.

“What was that?” Glenn asks Dr. Jenner.

“It invades the brain like meningitis.” Jenner starts to explain, “The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs. Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be...gone.”

“Is that what happened to Jim?” Sophia asks Carol.

“Yes.” Carol tells her daughter.

After comforting Andrea about losing her sister, Jenner brings up another recording. This time it's the reanimation of the brain. You watch as the neck area of the brain lights up again but this time in red.

“It restarts the brain?” Lori asks.

“No,just the brain stem. Basically,it gets them up and moving.” He tells Lori.

“But they're not alive?” Rick asks.

“You tell me.” he says, gesturing to the monitor.

“It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark.” Rick says answering his own question.

“Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part—that doesn't come back. The you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct.” Jenner tells the group.

Then the test subject starts to move again. This time you can tell by the jerky movements of the patient that they are alive again but not fully.

“God, what was that?” Carol asks Dr. Jenner.

“He shot his patient in the head.” Andrea says, “Didn’t you?”

“VI, power down the main screens and the workstations.” Jenner says to VI ignoring Andrea’s question.

The group then starts asking the doctor about what the sickness is, where people are still learning about the sickness, and if anyone even is still alive.

“So it's not just here. There's nothing left anywhere? Nothing? That's what you're really saying, right?” Andrea asks Dr. Jenner.

“Jesus.” Jacqui exclaims.

“Man, I'm gonna get shitfaced drunk again.” Daryl says.

“I am right there with you.” you tell Daryl.

“Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but...that clock—it's counting down. What happens at zero?” Dale asks Jenner.

“The basement generators--they run out of fuel.” Jenner tells us.

“And then?” Rick asks, Jenner then leaves the room, ignoring the question.

“VI,what happens when the power runs out?” Rick asks VI instead.

“When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur.” VI responds.

“What does she mean decontamination?” you ask.

A few members of the group, including Jesse, go down into the basement to find out what is going on with the generators. You decided instead to go and start packing up your things.

“What are you doing?” Adi asks you.

“We are packing up our thighs to leave.” you tell her.

“But this place is safe, you told me it would be safe.” she says.

“I was wrong, it's not safe. I was wrong, I'm sorry.” you tell her before continuing to pack yours, Jesse’s, Gracies, and Adi’s things.

Suddenly you hear the air conditioning stop. You hear Lori and Dale talking to Jenner in the hall but he doesn’t say anything. He continues walking towards the main room. Everyone, who was still in the rooms in the halls, walk after Jenner. You grab Adi and pick up Gracie and follow the group of people.

“Jenner what is happening?” Rick asks the doctor.

“The system is dropping all the nonessential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. That started as we approached the half-hour mark. Right on schedule.” He tells us, “It was the French.”

“What?” Andrea asks him.

He then goes on to explain that the French were close to a solution when their power went out. That they were the last ones and how stupid fossil fuel is.

“To Hell with it, Shane. I don't even care. Lori, grab our things. Everybody, get your stuff. We're getting out of here now!” Rick tells the group.

Everybody goes to leave and grab their things when the doors close on you.

“No. Did you just lock us in?” Glenn asks, “He just locked us in!”

Then everyone starts freaking out, most of all Daryl. He runs at the doctor with the bottle. Shane and Rick hold him back before he can get a shot in.

“Hey, Jenner, open that door now.” Rick tells him.

“There's no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed.” he says to Rick.

“Well open the damn things.” Daryl says to Jenner.

“We need to get out of here.” you say to Jenner.

“That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you once that front door closed, it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that. It's better this way

“What is? What happens in 28 minutes? What happens in 28 minutes?!” Rick yells.

“Come on!” Daryl yells at Jenner.

“You know what this place is?! We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!” Jenner yells, “In the event of a catastrophic power failure—in a terrorist attack, for example—H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out.”

“H.I.Ts?” Rick asks.

“Vi,define.” Jenner tells the computer.

“H.I.T.s—high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between 5,000 degrees and 6,000 degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired.” VI explains.

“It sets the air on fire. Jenner tells you while Carol and Sophia are crying, “An end to sorrow,grief...regret. Everything.”

“So what you're saying is that we are going to be lit on fire that is so hot we die instantaneously?” you ask him, “What about the children?”

He ignores you. You go up to him and punch him in the face. It looks like it hurts you way more than it hurts him. While this happens people arm themselves with axes and start swinging at the door.

“Y/N!” Shane shouts at you and holds you back from hitting him again.

“Fuck you! Who are you to decide who lives and dies!” you yell at him, “They are children!”

“You know what's out there. A short brutal life and an agonizing death.” he yells at all of you, “Your sister what was her name?”

“Amy.” Andrea responds.

“Amy. You know what this does. You've seen it.” he says to her, “ Is that what you really want for your wife and son?”

“I don't want this!” Rick tells him.

“Can't make a dent.” Daryl tells Shane.

“Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher.” Jenner tells them.

“Well, your head ain't!” Daryl yells at him and goes to swing at him with the axe. Shane lets go of you and helps Rick and Dale hold Daryl back.

“Daryl! Daryl!” Rick shouts at him, “Just back up. Back up.”

You go over to where Adi is holding Gracie on her lap. You sit down on the ground with them. Adi looks up at you. She is crying silently, she understands what is going on.

“Hey, everything is gonna be okay.” you tell her, starting to tear up yourself.

“Why is he doing this?” she asks you.

“I don’t know.” you tell her, “He thinks what he is doing is alright.”

Jesse comes over to us and leans down. He pulls all three of us in for a hug.

“That’s all we want- a choice, a chance.” Rick tells Jenner.

“Let us keep trying as long as we can.” Lori pleads with him.

“I told you that topides locked down.” he says, “I can’t open those.”

He then walks over to the keypad and opens the doors.

“Come on!” Daryl yells at all of you.

You grab all of the bags of your belongings and run to the stairs to get out of the building. When the group gets to the main floor of the building the doors are in fact locked like Jenner said.

“Daryl!” Shane yells and tosses the axe to Daryl. They both start hitting the glass to no avail.

T-Dog runs at the glass with a chair and when that still doesn’t work Shane starts unloading bullets on it. Nothing is working.

“Rick, I have something that might work.” she tells him handing him a grenade.

All of you back away from the window and Rick pulls the pin and it explodes. The glass shatters and all of you run towards the hole in the window.

All of you run towards the vehicles and get into a truck with Daryl. Right when you are about to leave you see Andrea and Dale coming out of the building. In the rush of getting out you hadn’t even noticed they were gone.

“Get down! Get down!” you hear Lori shout at the escapees.

They get behind a barrier of sandbags when the building explodes. It’s insane looking. The flames escape out of the windows of the building.

Dale and Andrea run and get into the RV. You all drive away from the destruction of the CDC. You check on your family. They were all there, alive. Unlike Jacqui who stayed with Jenner.

<Previous Part/Next Part>

Masterlist

[the-broken-truth]

Ana Meets Black Widow & Bucky Barnes [Platonic Yanderes x OC]

Summary: Ana is working in a cafe in Brazil when an unusual couple comes into the cafe and takes a hazardous interest in her. Can Ana escape the Black Widow and Winter Soldier or is she doomed to fall in their clutches?

Other Languages will be identified like this: Example.

[Brazil - Around The Cafe - Rainy Weather - 5:30 P.M.]

[A Blanket of Grey Clouds consumed the sun and the tears of the heavens fell from the giant sheet - it's been raining for the past few hours and there was nothing I could do about it as I looked out of the Cafe Window where I worked. It was a rather slow day, no one wanted to come into a cafe when it's raining cats and dogs outside - hell, I don't think that they would be able to get through the streets with the traffic that's going on right now. Oh, I'm getting ahead of myself, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ana - I'm a 18 year old psychology student that attends college here in Brazil; I happened to be born here and I was at work but I wish I was at home, rain always makes me sleepy. My dark brown eyes looked out of the window as my hand rested on my cheek while my elbow rested on the glass counter with a bored expression on my face, there hasn't been a new customer in here for hours and it was almost time for my shift to end; I can only pray that it remains this slow until it was time for me to leave and…]

DOOR OPENS, SIGNALING THE BELL ABOVE THE DOOR TO RING

Ana (Thinking as I run my hand through my long red hair): 'I have spoken too soon.'

(I straighten myself up as I reach over to the writing pad on the counter, pulling the pen from behind my ear as I look at the new additions to the cafe..and my eyebrow raises as I lay my eyes on a rather interesting pair. A Man and a Woman. The man had long brown hair with piercing blue eyes and pale skin, he was wearing a black suit with a red tie and his hands in his pockets; if I were a man, I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley, or even get into a fight with this man and I'm a black belt in Karate. The woman was smaller than him - which was natural, it would have been strange if she was taller than him - with short red hair and pale skin with piercing green eyes the same shade as an emerald gem; just like the man, she was wearing a black suit with a red tie, black heels, and black gloves. The two of them looked around the cafe before their eyes landed on me - they started at me for a while before the two of them went to the back of the cafe and sat in one of the booths. They began talking to each other in another language but I couldn't hear what they were staying to see what language it was but I knew it wasn't english. The woman kept looking at me before turning to look at the man and continued speaking…that's when the man slowly rose from his seat and walked over to the counter, I looked up to him and gave him a smile as I readied myself to write his order on the writing pad.]

Ana: Welcome, Sir. What can I get you?

Man (Looks into my eyes and doesn't say anything for a while before he speaks with a smirk on his face): I would like two dark coffees with no sugar and 2 creams in each. (Reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet and hands me the money for the drinks but before I hand him his change, he tells me to keep the change before walking away back to his table.)

[I head to the coffee machine and prepare the coffee but I can't get the look that he gave me out of my head - why was he smirking at me like that and why was that woman staring at me while talking to him? Maybe I'm just overthinking this. I placed the 2 hot coffees on a serving platter and walked from behind the counter when my ears picked up on their conversation again and I could hear that they were speaking in Russian. I knew Russian as my brother and I were learning new languages - my brother learning Japanese while I was learning Russian. I stopped walking halfway and listened to their conversation and what I heard made my blood run cold.]

Red-Haired Woman: We have to be careful as to how we go about collecting the girl. She has a life here, a brother, and family, if we aren't careful and just take her then they would be all over us before we could get her out of it.

Long-Haired Man: I understand your concern, Natasha, but we need to do this. For the longest tie, I know that you have longed for a child and when I looked into her eyes, I saw myself and yourself in her. She has your hair, she might not have my eyes or your eyes but we can rewrite her DNA to make her our daughter. We wait for the cafe to close and then we take her, the cops will think she was kidnapped and we will be long out of Brazil before anyone knows that we are gone. Ana will be ours.

[My blood froze at what I heard - these people were planning to kidnap me and make me their daughter. I had to get out of there but I couldn't let the know that I was leaving without going through the front door. I made a plan, I would go through the back door and get in my car before going to the police station and filing a report; I need to make sure I am protected and I need to get to my apartment so I could defend myself. I walked over to the and smiled at them, hoping not to give away the fact I knew what they were planning.]

Ana (Places the coffees before them before tucking the serving tray under my arm): Here are your coffees, Sir and Madam. Please, enjoy.

[Turn on my heel and walk away, feeling the glares on my back as I return to my place at the back of the counter, places the serving tray back on the counter, and go to the back to look for my boss. I find her talking to another one of the employees - my boss was kind, she was understanding and wanted us to be safe when something bothered us, I never bothered her until today but my safety was on the line. I walked over to her.]

Ana: Boss, I need to take to you.

Boss (Turns to look at me with concern on her face): Ana, what's the matter? You look pale as a ghost.

Ana: I need to leave early, I don't feel safe and I think the two people in the cafe are planning to kidnap me.

Boss: What makes you say that?

Ana: I heard them speaking in Russian, saying that they were going to kidnap me when the cafe closed - that means they knew my schedule. I need to get out of here and get the police.

[My Boss looked at me and nodded her head, before peeking out to to see the man and woman talking about me again in Russian and told me to get to the back door, which I did. I crept to the door and closed it slowly so as to not make a sound. I looked at the rain falling from above and ran to my car, unlocking the door, and getting inside, I placed the key in the ignition and looked up, only to see the man standing before my car with a black mask covering his nose and mouth. Wait... I know this man. I heard stories about him.

Ana (Thinking): 'The Winter Soldier....and that would make the woman in the cafe the Black Widow... Wait, if he's here... Where is?'

*Knocking on the car window*

[I look to see the Black Widow standing beside the car with a smile on her face.]

Black Widow: You were smart, Little Ana, but you should have played your part a little bit better. We knew you spoke Russian and walked to escape once you heard our plans. We expected you to get into your car. Now, get out of the car and make this easier on yourself.

Ana (Narrows my eyes): Go to hell. (Turning the key, causing the car to roar to life but for some reason, the car wouldn't turn into reverse gear)

Black Widow (Punches the car window and grabs Ana by the collar of her shirt and yanks her out of the car, throwing her into the wall and trash cans, making Ana slump to the ground): I told you - you aren't as smart as you think you are, Little Ana. (Pulls a syringe out of her jacket pocket and walks over to the dazed Ana) Now, just relax. This will only hurt for a moment.

[Before I could fight back, the syringe was in my arm, the liquid was in my system and the effect was instant. My vision was blurry and I began to black out before I fell to the ground and I knew no more.]

[tinypandacakes]

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

💥What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

SOAP DYING!! 😭 But tbh I don’t stick terribly close to canon for anything I write. I try to be true to the characters in my own way

🔮Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer's block?

Ahh a duplicate — basically read lots and go walk outside helps me! Do something creative that is not staring at my google doc waiting for the words to come. Talk it out with a fandom friend

💌Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

I love any sort of power imbalance, porn with plot is my bread and butter. I love instant obsession/infatuation/love (whether it’s sort of wholesome like in delta tango foxtrot or darker like in trapper, keeper)

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

I’ve been sitting on this half-finished SoapGhost boot kink fic for like 1.5 yrs lol I should finish it…

NSFW, unedited, boot kink, implied D/s

“May have shown off a bit today,” Soap admitted, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

“Mm,” Ghost hummed, finally releasing his grip on Soap’s hair. “And why would you do something like that, Johnny?”

Soap shrugged, eyes lowering once more. Something tightened within Ghost’s chest at the sight of the man kneeling between his spread thighs, dark lashes fanning over Soap’s flushed cheekbones, a delicate detail against his rugged, scarred features. Ghost caught the direction of Soap’s stare, once more fixated on the boots he had put on just for the occasion. It was a new pair, clean and unscuffed, the material still stiff and needing to be properly broken in, the scent of fresh leather strong enough to cut through the cigarette smoke.

Soap’s infuriatingly tight pants revealed the depth of his own desire, his cock obviously hard beneath the canvas. Ghost clicked his tongue in disappointment and nudged his boot upward toward Soap’s groin. The side of his shoe brushed against Soap’s clothed shaft, bringing forth a tight whine from him. Soap closed his eyes as he rocked his hips forward, seeking friction against the leather.

Ghost pulled his foot back, denying Soap what he craved. “I asked you a question, sergeant.”

“Wanted your attention,” Soap said, voice husky.

“There we go,” Ghost murmured. He smoothed back Soap’s hair and lifted his boot back into place. “Good boy.”

Soap let out a tight little whine and began to roll his hips against the boot at his groin, his cock straining against his trousers to get a taste of friction. It was difficult for Ghost to pretend that this did nothing for him, that his own cock wasn’t rock hard against his thigh.

“You should see yourself right now,” Ghost growled, his voice dark. “So fuckin’ desperate. What if the others saw you like this, humping my boot like a dog in heat? What would they think?”

Soap whimpered, an incoherent sound that shot straight through Ghost’s core. It was the kind of noise reserved only for him, needy and soft, vulnerable — and he needed to hear more.

“Maybe next time you decide to show off, I should just fuck you right in front of the others so they know who you belong to.” Ghost watched the furrow in Johnny’s brow deepen. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Soap’s eyes had been closed as he jerked his hips against the smooth black leather, leaning into Ghost’s leg for leverage. But at that, his eyelids fluttered back open, peering up at his superior, wide eyes shining with dampness. The rest of the degrading words Ghost had ready disintegrated at the sight of the man before him, Soap’s expression so open, trusting, wanting.

Ghost’s cock twitched against its canvas prison, far too small now, too hot. He unbuckled his belt and carefully pulled himself free of the garment, his cock springing out to stand out proudly from his lap. Precum already dripped from the swollen tip, shaft twitching as Ghost watched Soap's pretty pink tongue rolled across his lower lip to wet it, eager, always so eager.

“Christ, you’re needy,” Ghost rasped, the accusation fitting himself just as well. “Now, open up for me, Johnny.”