#but look I was a band kind I played double bass I can’t just not think about it

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 09/09/2023 (Kylie Minogue, Kenya Grace, Tion Wayne/Nines)

Content warning: Discussion of death and some sex references

Doja Cat dethrones Olivia Rodrigo at #1 on the UK Singles Chart, with “Paint the Town Red” becoming her first ever song to top the chart. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with the notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 (that’s what I cover) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we say farewell to “On the Radar Freestyle” by Drake and Central Cee, “FE!N” by Travis Scott featuring Playboi Carti and Sheck Wes - kind of - “Pakistan” by D-Block Europe featuring Clavish, “How Does it Feel” by Tom Grennan, “Everywhere” and “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac, “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears, “Kill Bill” by SZA, “Another Love” by Tom Odell and finally, “Riptide” by Vance Joy. And stay out.

Always infinitely more interesting are our notable gains, which this week includes “Party All the Time” by Hannah Laing and HVRR at #57, “DNA (Loving You)” by Billy Gillies featuring Hannah Boleyn at #54, “I Remember Everything” by Zach Bryan featuring Kacey Musgraves at #50, “Rave Out” by Turno, Skepsis and Charlotte Plank at #41, “Feel It” by Jazzy at #35, “Bittersweet Goodbye” by Issey Cross at #23, “Rush” by Troye Sivan at #22 thanks to a remix featuring PinkPantheress and Hyunjin of Stray Kids (it’s alright), “Asking” by MK and Sonny Fodera featuring Clementine Douglas at #14 and finally, Fred again.. and Obongjayar get their first top 10 hits as credited artists with “adore u” - even if I’m not a fan of the song, still happy for them at #9.

Our top five on this week’s UK Singles Chart is pretty standard: we have Peggy Gou’s “(It Goes Like) Nanana” at #5, “What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish at #4, “vampire” at Olivia Rodrigo down to #3, “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift at #2 and of course, “Paint the Town Red” at #1. Now off to look at our interesting list of new entries.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 - “HONEY (ARE U COMING)” - Maneskin

Produced by SLY and Rami

As soon as I saw this title, I had my concerns about this Italian rock band dipping into incredibly unsexy “I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE”-esque territory, but whilst the double entendre may still be there, the song is more about sheer adrenaline… and it goes hard as balls. I’ve never been a fan of Mr. David’s nasal delivery, but he rides the riff pretty effectively here, even going into a falsetto he can’t even really hit for the purpose of just having chaotic fun, which seems also to be the reason for the switch between a slimy sing-songy flow in the chorus and its ending screech. The riffs here are infectious, with some great subtle overdubs in the verses, and once again, Ethan Torchio on the drums does a lot to keep this song’s momentum going with a basic but propulsive drum pattern that hits heavy in the chorus and plays really well off of the nastier bass as it rattles around the mix during that post-punk-esque bridge. I do wish the final chorus had a better build up than the smash-in technique it goes for here, but this still kicks a decent amount of ass, even if it’s not all that interesting or unique for this band.

#73 - “Back on 74” - Jungle

Produced by J. Lloyd

It is incredibly painful to see a song called “Back on 74” debut at #73. So close. Anyway, Jungle are a real unique group - you could call them a soul group, an electronic music group, but I don’t think they can effectively be pigeon-holed really. They’re probably best described as a funk group active since 2013 and consistently snatching top 10 albums in the UK. It was of no surprise to see their latest, Volcano, peak at #3 there but it is a bit of a surprise to see them on the singles chart, this being their highest-peaking song in the UK Singles Chart ever and first since 2014’s “Time” which peaked all the way down at #94. I’ve yet to listen to that album yet, but this is a great cut with Lydia Kitto on lead vocals, keeping in a breathy, sometimes clipping higher register amidst a rolicking groove and cute acoustics that exemplify probably the most appealling part of this song to me: sincerity. It’s a nostalgic-feeling jam with seemingly the best intentions with each little vocal harmony, especially when the guys join in on the second verse with Kitto or provide that deep-pitched “oh-oh” doo-wop lines during the chorus. Kitto has some really flailing vocal riffs here too, poking out of the mix kind of desperately in a way that reflects that mantra of “let it go!” The warm synth keys, almost reminding me of Tyler the Creator in how they replicate what would be a brass instrument in an older song, come in later and really seal the deal for me, trickling down until… the song just kind of ends, abruptly, and slightly disappointedly. We do return for a soulful acoustic outro consisting mostly of vaguely psychedelic improv, but it doesn’t feel like a substantial conclusion to a song with so much drive. Otherwise, I mean, it’s still a good ride to hop on, just could have found a better destination. I would be surprised if this stick around too but, hey, I wouldn’t be complaining - it’s rare that something like this ends up even this high.

#72 - “Miillion Dollar Bill” - Beyond Chicago, Majestic and Alex Mills

Produced by Beyond Chicago and Majestic

This is a bit of a deep cut, guys! For context, “Million Dollar Bill” is a throwback-sounding disco and funk track by the legend Whitney Houston herself, released in 2009 and produced by Alicia Keys and her husband Swizz Beatz, yet somehow not ending up sounding in any way modern. This is probably a good thing for Whitney, as her performance here and the instrumental she’s on has never felt perfectly right to me; she still had the pipes in 2009 obviously, but she approached the song in a way that didn’t feel as youthful as it should, as proven by Alicia Keys’ fresh-faced backing vocals that kind of just make me wish she kept the song for herself. It’s also just kind of a boring song, with very little up its sleeves other than relying on sheer belting prowess from its lead star. Regardless, as the lead single from her final album, it still peaked at #5 in the UK, and is clearly remembered enough for a remix by UK DJs Beyond Chicago and Majestic, who you may know from his remix of Boney M.’s “Rasputin” which peaked at #11 just a few years ago. Now on one hand, this song does what the song should have always done, increased the punch of the percussion and picked the pace up a bit. On the other hand, we no longer have the iconic Whitney Houston and are stuck with the completely serviceable - most of the time - Alex Mills, who covers the song without the subtlety that Whitney inherently brought at times in that original version. That’s mostly a good thing when it comes to the incessant French house flip that this song has, still maintaining a replicated version of some of the original, more organic percussion for the pre-drop but going all-out elsewhere on basically digitising this single. I’m still pretty torn on it - it makes the song what it was probably written as, with little regard to who it was written by or for. It slaps harder but less interestingly, it’s got more vocal leap but less personality. It’s structurally completely fine so it’ll function in a club, and I guess that’s this song’s only real purpose so I’m sure it can be a fully ignorable version of a pretty uncommonly-brought-up single from the tail end of a legend’s career.

#65 - “I KNOW ?” - Travis Scott

Produced by OZ, Coleman, Travis Scott, Buddy Ross and BBYKOBE

When listening to UTOPIA, this song may have been the track that exemplified just how much I was bored and frustrated by Travis, as this entire song seems like an exercise in testing patience. It’s plopped right in the middle of the album, between the mysterious Beyoncé-featuring “DELRESTO (ECHOES)”, an aimless, wandering lecture on how to lose all momentum, and the album’s attempt at a grimy banger, “TOPIA TWINS”, so the link between the two complete opposites kind of needs to be substantial, or smooth or at least effectively transitional. This is a piano-led stodge with distorted and time-stretched samples placed in and out as haphazardly as possible to connote “experimentation”. This could potentially fit into a hypnotising, drugged-out atmosphere as Travis has often fell into before but the layers of synth aren’t there, the vocal samples cut in and out, including his own ad-libs which are mixed interruptingly loud, and he has twenty girls sucking him “like bisons”. Regardless, the mindless repetition is enough to make this a catchy song, and hence a fan favourite that has lasted way longer than I expected in terms of its streaming traction. It’s not offensively bad like many other cuts on that album, or even all that frustratingly boring like the rest of it given its shorter runtime, but it’s still just about as worthless.

#53 - “Demons” - Doja Cat

Produced by d.a. got that dope

This series has for the most part always been “all about the music, man”, even if I do often get political or make off-hand comments about scandals. The one thing I tend to avoid - half because I just don’t care enough and half because it accentuates that musical focus - is the music video for a song. I will rarely ever watch a video for a song, genuinely, and this hurts several songs that I end up reviewing. This was a bigger deal from the mid-2010s and earlier, dating back to the 1980s, where videos were a big event that often came with the song to create cultural phenomena, but it’s not like we’ve had a “Thriller”-level match of phenomenon single and cinematic video since, well, maybe “This is America”? Music videos are a lot less important it feels nowadays, at least in the Anglosphere, and I bring this up because the video for “Demons” seems like it was made completely in conjunction with the song. Doja’s teeth-grinding yelps aren’t as villainous without the cloned pitch-black devils echoing them, the trap metal beat from d.a. got that dope of all people doesn’t blast as well without the knowledge that it’s the endless soundtrack to this helpless woman and her kids trying to escape the demonic creatures, and Doja’s sing-songy cadence sounds childlike without the condescending looks and that typewriter scene that practically explains why the second verse’s flow is so awkward. I’m not a music video reviewer though, I review songs and yes, surprise, surprise, I still like this. The horror movie strings are immediately punctuated by a shoddily-mastered bass and maniacal laughter from Doja, who cuts off her own gasping-for-air ad-libs with creepy empty space that is even more noticeable when the stiff beat seems like it should be doing more to cover her minimal, nursery rhyme verses. I’ll admit that the hook gets a bit stale, but the sarcastic pettiness and gross sex bars in that second verse increase the theatrics in a very typically unsubtle way that ensures this won’t fade from memory anytime soon. I’m dying on a very risky hill here, but hey, if Baby Keem needed to be a woman rapping over slasher film soundtracks all this time for me to like him (her?), then Doja found the formula before he could get to it.

#46 - “Last Time I Saw You” - Nicki Minaj

Produced by Hendrix Smoke, ATL Jacob, Bak, Frankie Bash and TooDope

The Queen of Rap is back with her sequel to her debut, Pink Friday and just like the original, there are sugary tacked-on pop singles. This particular one is a bit of a new lane for Nicki though, considering it’s a slow synthpop jam, held together by a ringtone lead synth and some of the worst straw-sounding drums I’ve ever heard on this kind of production backing a harder backbeat that actually functions, perhaps a bit more than Nicki’s mush-mouth singing that is still quite limited, even if it’s far from a bad performance, and coated in enough reverb and Auto-Tune to drown out many of the flaws. In fact, this restrained, kind of muted singing fits pretty well for a song about regretting being not as close as she could in a relationship before it ended. The rap verse may not really take the restraint angle, and it’s not exactly a good verse for Nicki’s standards, but it functions basically as a guest-rap verse on her own song, which is a cute decision, and doesn’t distract much from the song’s flow. In fact, on repeated listens, I began to really like this. Content-wise, the song is just vague enough to reflect any relationship, but does make it clear that it’s not purely romantic, and makes some leads toward it being about her late father, with her struggling to complete the sentence “I killed it”, which resonates with me particularly because there’s always a sense of guilt and loss that you weren’t the perfect person for someone when that person close to you dies, and being as closed-off as Nicki as in this performance, not really wanting to talk about it, was my instinctual reaction too when my father passed. The bridge is what really sold me on this though, with that speck of ambiance amidst all the backing vocal layers, a distant electric guitar signifying his death, before Nicki observes the stars in a nostalgic interpolation of Madonna’s “Lucky Star”, naming her father as the first star she notices in the sky that night. Then the vocal and synth layers continue to pile up, repeating mantras of sentences, whilst the drums transfix into this jerky Jersey club rhythm that never fully comes to a conclusion, just fading into a drumless chorus that is honestly pretty beautiful, especially with what sounds like a subtle male backing vocal harmonising with Nicki on the first line of that final hook. I… may have just talked myself into loving this one. I’ve got to stop doing that.

#43 - “AMEN” - Tion Wayne and Nines

Produced by Smokey.jam and GUSTO

The two grit-voiced UK rappers team up for a collaboration that makes all too much sense and yes, whilst it is mostly a Tion Wayne song with a Nines guest verse, Nines still must have injected some fury in Tion here considering how he comes in with a lot of violence here, making his typical pop culture potpourri of references just that more fun. He’s over a pretty nasty beat too, blending shuffling boom bap drums with an eerie acoustic loop and some gorgeous female vocals standing airily in the back of the chorus. The call-and-response with the choir in the chorus is a brilliant choice to make this song anthemic, and to my surprise, Nines doesn’t really mess it up either. He comes in as sloppy and conversational as he’s always been, but his lowkey basically-just-talking flow is a nice respite from Tion’s aggression and he occasionally sounds smooth even. As a whole piece, this may not be perfect - it’s not exactly the most potent either have been - but it’s a great pumping rap banger outside of the trap and drill subgenres, which I feel like we’ve been missing lately. Hell, if this whole G-Unit revival sound in the UK is going to bring songs like this, I can’t be too upset at Digga D for helping start that.

#20 - “Strangers” - Kenya Grace

Produced by Kenya Grace

This one kind of came out of nowhere, especially for a top 20 hit, but this is Kenya Grace, a singer from London with just a few songs out as of writing, and this is her massive breakout hit, “Strangers”, which I see as a more futuristic and cinematic version of what PinkPantheress has been doing, replacing her more vintage-sounding samples with a plastic 80s synth and ominous vocal loops, whilst keeping the rhythmic, wistful delivery. Sadly, the chorus really doesn’t hit here, as it’s just two extended, kind of awkward lines with that “uh-huh” mantra filling in the blanks. Interestingly, just like PinkPantheress, the song feels unfinished, but in a completely different way, not that there’s a great song that just needs a proper emotional climax, but in that this song feels like a template for what could be a brilliant track, and never gets there, which is especially annoying since it uses the momentum of a drum and bass track to propel itself, which makes it incredibly unsatisfying when nothing aligns together as it should. It’s a good effort but I’m more hoping for a more realised follow-up than listening to this one anytime soon.

#19 - “Tension” - Kylie Minogue

Produced by Duck Blackwell and Richard “Biff” Stannard

And from a singer who was a practical unknown until recently to perhaps the most established and no-introduction-needed artist in this list. The second single and title track from her upcoming album, is “Tension” going to live up to the big comeback of “Padam Padam”? Well, perhaps it won’t be a similar phenom, but it applies a similar formula with the robotic repetition and bordering-on-cringeworthy lyrics amidst a slightly bubblier production than the last single, going for a 90s piano house lead and very fizzy synth bass plucks following every angle of the mix, even in the intensely-filtered pre-chorus which is practically a call-and-response, but with Kylie’s heavily affected cooing that eventually transforms into this completely unrecognisable glitched fabric mixed sloppily onto a slap house rhythm as the bass dominates the mix until what is practically a drop-within-a-drop, that brings in a freaking sick bass guitar line and releases a lot of airier synth soundscapes. The second verse has some fantastic choir-like backing vocal layers, and the rest of the song’s progression just continues to overwhelm in a way that seems set to establish Kylie’s sexual and pop culture dominance. As she’s basically a mystical figure in pop at this point, this new practically alien futuristic house sound that’s minimal in idea, maximum in execution, is a sound I really love for her. It actually brings her into the modern pop scene a lot smoother than you’d think, because it incorporates elements of her existing stage and media persona. This is great - silly, but not bordering on stupid like “Padam Padam” - instead, it’s just fantasical and out of this world in a really gripping way.

Conclusion

What a good week. There are only three songs of nine I wasn’t a fan of and even then, they’re far from terrible. Travis Scott does end up with Worst of the Week for “I KNOW ?”, but a Dishonourable Mention isn’t needed. Instead, how about two Honourable Mentions for “Back on 74” by Jungle and “Last Time I Saw You” by Nicki Minaj which was very close but does mean that Best of the Week goes to Kylie Minogue for “Tension”. There was a lot of good stuff this week though; I’ve yet to listen to Olivia Rodrigo’s newest but I hope she brings some of that same quality next week. As for now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Steve Harwell and I’ll see you then!

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

chained, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: You ever fuck someone wearing a collar and a chain... that's attached to the hot girl with the demonic grin? No? Just Min Yoongi? In his defense, he really likes a bad bitch.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; yup, there are Marilyn Manson and Slipknot references; D/s smut (fem reader, black leather collars and a chain leash, [a lot of] choking, saliva everywhere, handjob, m-receiving oral, slight edging, hair pulling, penetrative sex); non-idol!AU - rapper, sub!Yoongi x goth (also kinda his manager? lol) dom!reader; kinda PWP; Yoongi's POV

--

feel like I'm hexed, yeah, that bitch bad collar on her neck and her ass real fat

Most people would say, “Nah, dude, don’t mess with girls like that.”

Most people would say, “She’s fucking scary, why the hell would you think she’s hot?”

Most people would, but Min Yoongi wasn’t most people.

“I want to play a game.”

He tilted his head. “Then let’s play a game.”

She grinned, wild hair over her left eye. “Yeah?”

The first time he met her, he was at a bar and a woman was chatting him up, engaging him in conversation he didn’t want to be in. Fuck. The only reason he came was to accompany his friends, but they were all much more extroverted than he was and had already wandered off with potentials of the night. He didn’t want a potential. He just wanted a damn shot of whiskey and then he was going to slink into a corner and pretend nobody existed.

He minimized his responses to, “Mhm” and “Yeah,” but the woman wasn’t getting the hint and the bartender was busy. Sigh.

All of a sudden, a short man with a white, mannequin-like mask appeared. The white mask was painted with black streaks. He had stringy, long black and red hair and was wearing black coveralls.

Yoongi and the woman jumped away from each other, disconcerted by the appearance of the strange, tiny man.

“Bartender! Hey, real quick, can you get my friend here a drink?”

And then, fuck.

Black leather jacket, silver hardware. Tight fitted white top, so shredded the black bra underneath was visible. Short black pleated skirt. Ripped tights. Thick black boots with chains. Yoongi felt his eyes widen, looking up and down at this curvy frame. Wild hair, lush tits, juicy thighs, an ass that could put anyone in a trance with the way those hips swayed. Dark makeup, playful grin with red-stained lips.

A black choker with at least eight-centimeter spikes.

A pure white contact lens in her left eye.

“Hey, you can’t cover your face here,” a patron interrupted. “That’s creepy.”

The small man in the mask didn’t reply. The woman in black, however, swatted a hand like she was whacking away a fly.

“He’s part of the entertainment. Buzz off.”

“Oh, yes, you’re the band’s drummer, right?” The bartender rushed over. “Sorry, sorry. What will it be?”

The masked man said nothing.

“Double shot whiskey on the rocks,” the woman replied for him. “Did I get it right this time, Hana?”

A single nod from that stringy head.

“What about you?”

Yoongi jumped, startled the woman in black leather was addressing him. She cocked her head to the confused bartender. “You’ve been standing here ignored for the past ten minutes. I noticed because I was waiting for the guys to suit up to bring Hana to the bar.” She waved her hand. “Come on. Give me your order. I got you.”

“O… Oh. Same thing.”

She nodded. “Ya heard him. And don’t just only pay attention to cute girls, bartender.”

The bartender’s cheeks flushed. “A-Ah, I apologize! I’ll have them ready right away.”

The woman sighed and shook her head, completely ignoring the chatty woman who was making eyes at Yoongi, trying to get near him again. Yoongi pretended not to notice, stepping closer to the short, creepy man. The white mask didn’t move. The woman leaned down a bit because the man was shorter than she was with her height and platform boots.

“Don’t be takin’ nothing with the whiskey now. I’m treatin’ ya,” she chuckled under her breath.

Yoongi noticed the slight satoori. It made her voice a little deep and gruff.

“Shut it.”

She snickered. “Made you talk, Hana.”

The white mask went back to being silent.

She sighed and stood back up turning her attention to Yoongi. “Sorry about my friend here. He doesn’t like talking or people. I’m trying to get him to be more personable. Is it working?”

Yoongi blinked.

“Uh.”

Damn, every time she smiled, he felt a thrill shoot up his spine. White teeth showing, pink tongue peeking out between them.

It just seemed a little psychotic, a little mischievous, and a lot sexy.

“I know it’s not working. Can’t say I didn’t try.”

The masked man might as well have been a mannequin with how still he was.

“You’re his manager?” Yoongi found himself asking.

She shrugged. “Kind of? I actually just own the studio space the band records. But I like coming to the gigs sometimes if I can. Good excuse to get a little drunk, eh? Plus, I’m trying to find musicians to rent out the other spaces.”

Fuck.

Was it his lucky day or what?

“I’m looking for a studio space to record my music, actually.”

Her eyebrows raised. “No shit? You wanna talk some business?”

Oh, they talked business to bass and drums thundering the bar.

Later, they talked about some… other things too. What could he say? Yoongi liked a bad bitch. She wore leather, she owned cluster of studio spaces – “well, they ain’t mine, they’re my dad’s, but he’s never here, he’s off gambling and chasing booty, I think” – she gave him a fair price, and she loved to suck dick.

Yoongi didn’t find out about that last bit until later.

Right now, she was clipping the end of a silver chain to the collar around his neck.

It was heavy, probably metal. The collar he was wearing was thick black leather, with a steel ring resting against his collarbones. Yoongi was pretty sure she was doing a number on him. He wore a lot of black, yeah. He liked leather jackets too. But being around her presence was messing with his head and he was pretty sure he was being influenced by her energy. He used to hate his eye shape and his dark circles, but when he saw himself in the mirror with her tangled around him, riding his dick, he found himself thinking he didn’t look so bad after all. He looked good standing with the woman with the white contact lens and the demonic grin.

Maybe he was a little crazy, but everyone was a little crazy. Yoongi wasn’t worried about something like that.

Right now, she licked her teeth with that lithe, pink tongue of hers.

The other end of the chain was connected to the collar around her neck.

“You wanna play?” she drawled.

Fuck, he loved that shit. Her voice got slightly deep and throaty when she spoke in satoori. He wasn’t sure if she noticed it or not. It must be from her father. She mentioned that she had been raised by her dad – “sporadically, he liked to travel and, by travel, I mean gamble and chase ass, although surprisingly he didn’t come back with more kids, so I guess he learned his lesson” – but she was kind of the same way.

Not the gambling bit.

He didn’t really mind it though. She didn’t try to hide anything and he encouraged her to be herself. Plus, no one was getting the treatment he got. Yoongi was pretty sure about that, because when she fucked around, she did it in public. He had to be the one to tell her to take it upstairs and go for the throat.

Alright, not the throat. The dick.

In some way, Yoongi felt that was her way of asking if he approved, because she never took it upstairs and out of his sight unless he gave her the go ahead.

Right now, her tongue extended and wiggled in the air, glossy and slick with her saliva.

He smirked, open-mouthed and with a flick of tongue at the edge of his teeth.

She gripped the chain and yanked him by the neck to her face, crashing that demonic grin to his lips.

Like an injection or a spell, it gave him a rush, the firm leather snapping against his neck, chained to her, both wearing the collars, but she was always in control, always, and he liked it like that, liked the way she traced his lips with her powerful tongue, her saliva his aphrodisiac, before she captured his lips and rolled her body into his lap, skin to skin, moving like a snake, his gasp against her devouring mouth, her bare ass sliding on his thigh, fuck, so sexy, so soft, so bouncy, one hand on his face and another on his shoulder, fingers spread out and tendons flexing.

He liked to say she was the angel that held up her blinding halo with devil horns.

She yanked on the chain and Yoongi sucked in a breath, closing one eye as she licked his cheek, ending with a kiss on his brow. Cold air chilled his wet skin, making him shiver.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ hot, Yoongi.”

Pretty sure neither of them believed in a god but it got the point across.

He raised his hand and she smacked his wrist down, pinning it to the bed.

“Nuh uh.”

Yoongi wasn’t really expecting her to let him.

He raised his other hand. It was immediately swatted down onto the bed, her eyebrow cocking.

“Naughty, naughty.”

He cocked an eyebrow back, defying.

She leaned down and snatched the chain in her mouth, tugging on it with teeth and neck, narrowing her eyes. The white contact lens on her left eye gleamed under her lashes. She always wore it except right before sleeping. He once asked her why and she had shrugged.

“Mental security, I guess.”

Now, she growled like an animal.

“Down.”

She looked like she was about to headbutt him. He wouldn’t put it past her.

He lowered himself slowly, her mouth holding the chain taut until he was laying on the bed. She grinned, pleased at his obedience. Yoongi was quite sure that she was probably the closest being to a succubus that he would ever encounter with the violent thrill of arousal she was giving him with those plush lips and white teeth around the silver chain, pink tongue circling around the metal to tease him.

Maybe he was the crazy one for being turned on by it.

She dropped the chain on his chest. He flinched, the wet, heavy metal thudding onto his sternum, right against his pounding heartbeat. She rubbed her thigh against his balls and hardening cock, raising her head, chain following, higher, higher, letting go of his hands, arching her back, tits up, until it was fully taut between his neck and hers, the sides of the collars forcefully digging into his neck and hers. Yoongi did not lift his head from the bed to reduce the tension. Her devilish smile widened. A chain tug-of-war between collar to collar, both of them choking the other.

She lifted her hand and licked her palm, saturating it with saliva.

She reached down and wrapped her long fingers around his stiff length.

Didn’t say he could touch her though, so Yoongi didn’t.

“Think you can last longer than last time?”

He clenched his jaw. “Maybe.”

She pulled harder and he locked his neck and shoulders, clutching the sheets with a sharp gasp, pleasure shooting up his core, firm, strong strokes up and down his cock, fuck, fuck, every damn time, that second of cold as her saliva soaked his skin and then it warmed up fast to hot, slippery ecstasy, hard and getting harder, his pre-cum mixing with her saliva, staring at her hard nipples and juicy hips, knees around one of his thighs, shaking her ass when she noticed him looking, changing the pace, addicted to the feeling of her hands. He could feel the bones and the hard muscle of her grip and, sure, that didn’t sound sexy, but it felt incredible, adding stimulation in that inescapable hold and paired with slickness, choking his cock slightly and he craved every second of it, thighs tense and hard, growling in his throat as he dug his head into the mattress, pulling the chain for all it was worth, lightheaded now, the leather cutting in, probably leaving a mark, locking eyes with mischievous orbs and an impish smirk, the sides of her collar also cutting into the sides of her neck, choking herself as she was choking him while jacking him off.

Black haze threatened the edges of his vision.

He was going to pass out or cum. Yoongi didn’t care which happened first.

“F… Fuck!”

Yoongi snapped his jaw shut and shot up her forearm and down his length, strained groan of her name leaking past his teeth, bolts of pleasure invading his nerves all the way up to his scalp, blossoming into an erotic haze. She snapped her head forward. Oxygen flooded his brain, his jaw going slack with a moan, his eyes rolling back, high so high his whole body shuddered, barely registering her movement, hearing the lewd slurps of her drinking up his cum.

Wet.

Hot.

“Shit!”

Her mouth enveloped his twitching length, burying it deep into her throat, slathering tongue and satisfied hiss, chain clinking against his stomach and hitting his trembling balls, twisting her head so the chain wouldn’t cause any damage to them as she began to suck, flashes of tongue flickering out of the edges of those plush lips, grazing his crotch and scrotum, pointedly staring at him with an arched eyebrow.

She bounced her hips when she noticed him looking, shaking her ass as she sucked his dick.

Yoongi grinned.

His vision was barely focusing, trying to recover from orgasm in the midst of the intoxicating pleasure of her soft and tight mouth, tongue rubbing under the head of his cock, causing it to jerk and swell in the back of her throat and then she thrust it all the way back in there, taking him impossibly deep, sinfully moaning around his cock, vibrating it with lust. He glanced at her hands, fingers spread out and joints locked, tendons flexed, pointed black fingernails clawing into the sheets.

The heat flaring over his abdomen and hips was rising to his limit once more.

Yoongi panted her name, hoarse and breathless, realizing his Daegu satoori was suddenly more prominent in his disheveled state.

“I’m gonna cum–”

She popped her mouth off his cock and he snapped his teeth, snarling.

“You bitch.”

She grinned, wiggling her tongue, thick plops of saliva dripping down and hitting his flinching hips and throbbing cock, the head an angry purple-red from being so roughly stimulated after orgasm. The white contact gleamed alongside the devious glint in her right eye, black pupils blown out, a little psychotic, a little mischievous, and a lot sexy.

It didn’t matter who was on top because she knew she was always on top.

To be clear, Yoongi didn’t take shit from anyone without a fight. It got him in trouble sometimes, but this particular brand was trouble was the kind he liked. She gave him a long period of two seconds to roll the condom down before tangling one hand in the metal chain and the other in his black hair, pulling both in opposite directions. He hissed dangerously, plunging his hard cock into the wet, waiting heat, scorched by her roughness and his desire, one of her legs on his shoulder and the other around his waist, smacking their bodies together with violent force.

The tip of her tongue traced her teeth, grinning demonically.

“Come on, you said you were gonna play the game with me, Yoongi,” she chuckled, naughtily mocking him, voice deep and rough from her satoori.

“Let’s see if you can keep up,” he growled in kind, low and gravelly.

She pulled on the collar much harder than his hair, but both were equally arousing, prickling pain on his scalp and circulation cut short once again, brief flashes of oxygen bleeding through with his aggressive thrusts, the excess chain knocking against her collarbones, just another layer of sound along with slapping hips and squelching juices, her velvet walls clenching around him with every descent, not going fast so he could last, burying deep and hitting her hard. She winced, guttural growl at the base of her throat and the side of his lips quirked up.

“Too much?” he taunted.

“I’ll tell you when it’s too much,” she grunted, jerking her hips up and brutally squeezing the head deep inside.

“Fuck…”

He knew she wouldn’t let him do anything she didn’t want, so he kept going, her wrist flicking up with every thrust, leather collar snapping into his skin, thinning his breath to gasps at the stinging pain, the hand in his hair releasing him, messy black strands invading his vision, but he had no time to complain, groaning as her nails dug into his back and dragged up, inflamed hot lines that shot into his system and fed his adrenaline. His fists bunched the sheets, locking his shoulders, clenching his jaw, flexing his neck, and now he was being choked again, consistently this time, oxygen thinning out once more, barely able to keep his eyes open.

Her smile sent thrills up his spine and they split at the base of his head, tendrils of vicious desire numbing all sensations except lust, gluttonous for the pain that nourished more pleasure, greedy for everything she forced him to take, too prideful to ask her to loosen her hold, desperate not to give in to her wrath, usually slothful but now using every fiber of his strength to push himself to the limit, high getting higher knowing that anyone would be envious of how good he got it from that fiendish playful grin and hot delicious body under him, collared together in joined sin.

She let out a low moan, basking in him, feeding his need to satisfy hers.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot, Yoongi.”

He managed to get out half of a breath, staring into those irises, one real, one covered in white.

“Fuck, your voice gets me off every time,” he hissed.

He slammed his hips down and she clamped around his entire length, releasing the chain, both of their heads tipping back, his in the air and hers into the pillows, moans in unison as he shot into the condom and she released onto his twitching length and skin, coating him with slickness. The scent of sex permeated the air, his previous orgasm soaked into the sheets already and hers smearing with it as their hips descended, his throbbing cock pulsed by her flinching walls, her thighs tense around his waist and his hard ones against her ass, making sure to lean forward so he didn’t fall out, savoring every second of their joined bodies.

The hotel room was certainly getting some important use.

Yoongi remembered he had been annoyed when she said he should rent one since the potential gig was rather far away and transportation so late at night was going to be a bitch. He almost didn’t do it, but she rolled her eyes and booked it anyway, triumphant when he sold out the venue. Not a huge venue, but bigger than he had ever performed before.

He still said she had to make it up to him for making him travel farther than he originally wanted.

As usual, Yoongi was not disappointed.

“Housekeeping is gonna be pissed,” she chuckled. “Smells like sex.”

“I don’t give a shit.”

“How’s your throat?”

“Pretty sure rapping strains the inside of my throat, not the outside.”

She chuckled. “Now you hurt all over.”

“Good.”

Yoongi closed the distance and kissed that smirk, metal chain sandwiched between their hot, sweaty skin, the steel rings of the black leather collars clinking against each other.

--

masterpost

-

the lyrics in the beginning are from hot demon b!tches near u!! by CORPSE ft night lovell

[silver-pieces]

onto you

Pairing: Misty Knight x gn!reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Synopsis: Your double life as a criminal mastermind, and the partner of a cop, reaches a breaking point when Misty starts to suspect you.

Warnings: 18+, MINORS DO NOT READ OR INTERACT, smut (FF, kissing, oral), angst, criminal activities, bittersweet ending

A/N: Day 13 of Marvel Girlfriend May - omg I am SO behind but you know what?? I’m going to keep going. I just finished watching Season 2 of Luke Cage and it should come as no surprise that I LOVE Misty!! Anyway here’s 2.6k of angst with her! I hope you enjoy ^_^

Divider ❊ Masterlist ❊ More Misty ❊ Taglist

Misty enters the club with one goal: to get a peek behind the curtain.

The precinct doesn’t have much on this place, nothing except rumours of something shady going on behind the scenes. Still, something in her gut tells her she needs to investigate.

The place has been recently renovated - the derelict warehouse transformed into a low-lit club with an elevated stage in the centre of the room. A modern jazz band keeps the energy high with their vibrant riffs and low bass.

She situates herself to the side of the room at first, keen eyes getting a lay of the land.

It’s pure luck that your bartender recognises her as a cop. Her robotic arm is well-concealed, but he recognises her face from a bust she headed up a few weeks ago.

You thank him for the heads-up, and order him to go back to the bar and act like nothing is wrong.

Once he leaves, you bring up the security cameras and flick through them closely.

Shit. Misty. You knew the cops had caught your scent, but out of all the cops at the Harlem precinct, why did they have to send your girlfriend?

You check your phone - no new texts from her. She thinks you’re working late across town.

“Fuck,” you hiss to yourself, massaging your temples. You have to do something. Your finger hovers over her number as you debate calling her.

Movement on the screen catches your attention - she’s weaving through the club, towards the back rooms where your office is. Double fuck.

You press the comm in your ear that links you to the guards stationed around the place. “There’s a detective here. Do not let anyone into the back rooms, copy?”

A round of confirmations sound off as they each respond.

You force yourself to breathe and lean back in your chair to relax.

On the screen, Misty gets closer and closer. You can see her sizing up the guards, a calculating look on her face that you recognise well.

Oh, she’s good. You’ve never seen your girlfriend in action like this before.

It’s less entertaining, however, when she slips past your guards with ease moments later.

You jerk out of your seat. No.

A million calculations rush through your head. There’s no time to stop her now, she’ll reach this room before your guards can stop her.

So you take your laptop and your bag and run.

Whoever designed this place is smart. They had been prepared for this exact situation, able to make a fast exit, while leaving no incriminating evidence behind, not even a fingerprint.

Misty tries to reconstruct the scene in her mind based off of what she knows. Someone was in here recently - the faint whiff of perfume in the air is proof of that. The scent is strangely familiar.

But it’s not enough. Something is off about this whole thing, and she can’t put her finger on it.

In her experience, most mob boss types prefer to sit pretty and hide behind the law. So why did this one run?

Her train of thought is interrupted by the buzzing of her phone.

A text from you blinks up at her.

Just finished work. Takeout for dinner?

She quickly types out a response.

As long as it’s not street kebabs again. I’ll be home soon.

She decides to leave reporting back at the precinct until tomorrow, eager to get home to you. There’s much to say anyway.

Sneaking back out past the guards is almost as easy as getting past them in the first place. The security here could do with some serious upgrading. Either that, or they’re playing some kind of game she hasn’t figured out yet.

She heads straight home, distracted by her own thoughts, pulling at threads and turning over suspicions in her mind, sinking deeper and deeper into her detective mindset.

It’s only when she gets inside and catches sight of you, waiting for her, that the thoughts finally take a break.

“Hey,” you say, smiling coyly at her as you hold out a flute of champagne.

She sets her bag down and takes off her coat, surprised at your actions. You’ve lived together for a while now, and never have you waited for her at the door like this. Still, she can’t deny she is relieved to see you after such an unsatisfying end to her day. “Hi.”

You hand her the drink as she approaches. “How was work?”

She frowns. “It was a little weird, actually yeah.” She goes over the scene again. The back office, abandoned only moments before she got there. Something about it just nags at her. She blinks, and looks away. “But we don’t need to get into it now.”

You take her by the wrist and lift her glass to yours, clinking them together. There’s a look in your eyes she can’t quite figure out.

“Cheers,” you say with a grin, before taking a sip. “Come on, let’s eat before it gets cold.” Then, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek, your murmur in her ear, “you look amazing, by the way.” She’s still in the outfit she wore to the club, a skintight dress that shows off her curves in all the right places.

As you move away to take a seat, a faint whiff of your perfume drifts through the air. And your scent sparks a memory.

Misty freezes.

No.

You can see the red and blue lights outside your club from a distance as you turn down the street. A quick concealed call to your head of security confirms all of your fears - a warrant has been issued to search the entire warehouse under suspicion of criminal activity.

Shit.

There’s more than proof of your criminal activity in there - there’s proof of you. Sure, purchasing the club under a false identity might throw off a normal bunch of cops, but not her. Not your brilliant, sharp-witted, detective lover.

You blink away tears you didn’t even realise had begun to creep up on you. Three weeks since she came to your club, three weeks of keeping your guard up just in case she returned. But she never did.

Finally, just for a moment, you had allowed yourself to believe you might have gotten away with it. That things between you and Misty could stay as they were - happy.

Street-light streaks by the windows as you push down the accelerator, but you barely take in your surroundings. Your mind is going through the past few weeks, reassessing every interaction with Misty. Every touch given, every word spoken, every passing glance.

If she doesn’t know it’s you, you can slip away before she has the chance to find out. But if she knows it’s you, if she’s known this whole time... Your knuckles go white as you grip the steering wheel harder.

The house is dark - just as you left it.

The car idles, and you allow yourself a second in the car to breathe. You go over the options in your mind, second guessing everything, and coming to the same conclusion. Misty will find you out if she hasn’t already. You have to leave.

You slip in through the front door, moving silently in the dark. But the light from the street allows you enough to see by, so when you turn, you instantly notice something out of place.

The bag you came for, the bag stuffed full of cash and a new fake ID, is sitting on the table, unzipped.

“Freeze.”

She points her gun at you despite every fibre of her being fighting against it. The thought of pulling the trigger kills her, despite your betrayal.

“Misty,” you say in greeting, slowly raising your hands in the air. There’s none of that warmth in your gaze now.

“Don’t,” Misty grits out. Every moment spent by your side these past few weeks has been like torture. Knowing you’ve been lying to her about everything - is this coldness, this calculating persona, the real you?

You take a step towards her anyway, rounding the table. The harsh light of the street casts sharp shadows across your face and for a moment the sight of you takes her breath away.

She can’t bear it. “I said, don’t.” She angles her head at you, warning in her eyes.

It seems to work, because you pause. Your gaze flicks to the bag on the table. The one she found weeks ago. “How long have you known, baby?”

Misty blinks. Baby. You called her baby... like the two of you are still... No. “You are under arrest.”

That seems to get through to you. For a brief moment, a wave of satisfaction fills her, as realisation dawns in your eyes, and you swallow in fear, and she knows she’s caught you.

But that moment shifts into tension as you regain your footing. “I’m not going with you,” you say, shaking your head. Your eyes dart to the bag again.

She takes a step forward, closing the distance, keeping her gun between you. “Yes you are.” Damn, her game is off. She doesn’t usually let suspects talk so much. A part of her wonders if her boss was right, and she should have let someone else do the arresting. But she knew it had to be her. You’re her responsibility now. “Hands behind your back.”

But you don’t obey, standing stubbornly still.

She gets close enough that the end of the gun presses into your chest. “Get your hands. Behind. Your. Back.”

You give an almost imperceptible shake of your head.

Being this close to you is killing her. All the moments of intimacy you two have shared, pulling you together again like a taut golden thread. The look in your eyes tells her you feel the same.

One word, one she’s not even sure she means, slips out. “Please.”

You peer into her tear-filled eyes, and then drop your gaze to her lips, leaning in close, allowing her gun to dig in further. “You’ll have to kill me.” Your voice is quiet, but strong.

Her finger braces on the trigger, and she tells herself not to give in, but the thought of hurting you instantly crumbles her resolve. She lowers the gun. “No,” she whimpers, and turns away, hiding her face in shame as the tears begin to fall.

Then, she feels your fingers cup her by the chin, turning her face up. Before she can truly react, your lips are on hers.

Misty breaks. She doesn’t question it, she just opens her lips and lets you in fully, your tongue brushing against hers and swirling as you deepen the kiss. It’s a goodbye kiss, one filled with anger and pain and regret, and Misty moans into it. Her arms come around your waist possessively.

You embrace it, your front colliding against hers and pushing her further with a strength she didn’t think you capable of. A brief thought hits her - it’s like she’s getting to know you for the first time ever. Then, her mind goes blank again, because you’re pushing her back, onto the table.

Her back hits the table, but her head falls back on something tough and loose - your bag. A few bundles of cash slide out and land on the table. Blood money.

“Misty,” you call to her.

She looks up at you, breathless and looking down at her from above, like a dark angel with bad intentions.

“Stay with me.” You say it like an order, and then you’re kneeling down between her legs and pulling her clothes off.

She allows you to, despite some part of her gut telling her this is wrong. Any second now, a parade of police officers could burst through the door and - 

You lift her legs over your shoulders in a smooth motion and pull her thighs until her pussy is at the edge of the table, right in front of your face. More bundles of your money slide out of the back, following her motion.

You pin her with a dark look. One that in all your time together, you’ve never showed her before.

“Who  - ” Misty tries to say, but the words get stuck in her throat. “Who are you?”

An unreadable expression washes over your face. You reach up and press your hand down on her abdomen, pinning her to the table. “I’ve lied about many things. But I promise, baby, I truly am your lover.”

She goes to respond, but then you lean in and lick her pussy so thoroughly her eyes roll back and all that comes out is a gasp.

“Fuck,” you moan into her wetness. “Last time I ever get to taste this pussy, and I swear it’s the sweetest it’s ever been.” And you delve back in, clearly determined to explore every inch of her pussy.

But Misty is suddenly furious. Last time. Her hand reaches for your head, intending to pull you away, but you go faster now, sending pleasure arcing through her veins and forcing her to pull you in closer to her weeping folds. “Fuck. You.” This is all your fault.

You emit a decadent, luxurious moan, rumbling against her clit.

Her free arm swings up behind her, as she is hit with a sudden climax. She reaches up for a grip, and only ends up disturbing your bag full of money further as her orgasm overtakes her.

“Oh - my - god!” she cries out, the sensation of your tongue laving against her clit stoking the heat she feels inside into a raging bonfire of bliss. Stacks of money pile out of the back and onto the table around her, some even hitting the floor, but she couldn’t care less.

Not when she has you greedily licking and sucking her to full completion.

I promise, baby, I truly am your lover. “You liar,” she moans. You’ve never made her come this hard. You hid this skill - this passion - from her, and goddamn she wants to slap you for it. If only for now showing her what she’s been missing this whole time.

Her orgasm finally fades, and instead of cuddling in bed like your normal routine used to be, you just wipe your face, give her a scorching look, and start picking up the piles of money that have fallen around her limp, drained form.

Misty can’t even think, let alone speak. Her gun lies on the floor somewhere. She could probably reach for it now, while you’re busy preparing to leave. But the high of her orgasm hasn’t faded yet, and she can’t bring herself to face reality.

Finally, the sound of you zipping up your bag jars her out of her haze. She pushes herself up on unsteady limbs, rounding to face you. Her bare legs feel the chill of the night closing in.

You hoist the bag over your shoulder and meet her gaze, a look of pain in your eyes that quickly shifts into a steely coldness.

Misty blinks. If this is it, and you’re leaving, she doesn’t think she could stand it if you didn’t say anything. But she can’t think of anything to say that might sum up what she’s feeling.

Apparently, neither can you. After a moment, you turn away and make for the door in silence.

But as you open it, you pause.

Then, you turn back to her, and nod.

And she hears you murmur to yourself, “One hell of a goodbye.” before the door swings shut behind you.

[svchengss]

king of hearts | d.sc

PAIRING. dong sicheng x reader

GENRE. high school!au, fluff, slight angst, kind of e2l

WARNINGS. none (lmk if i missed any!)

WORD COUNT. 6.7k

SUMMARY. sicheng’s subtle flirts are not working effectively but it only motivates him to try and woo you more. the devil sure works hard but dong sicheng works harder.

PLAYLIST. king of hearts

TAGLIST. @floraljae @clovdless @mashiihearts @ndr1271 @kunrengui (shoutout to mashi for being a major help in the process of writing this <3)

// just to let you guys know, reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !! thank you for reading :D

music was blaring through the multiple loudspeakers scattered around the school grounds, booths of various interests that were set-up by the clubs being swarmed by visitors and ecstatic oohs and aahs from the ones playing games can be heard intermittently. the annual school festival of redlands high, an event that is looked forward to by every single student there. or maybe not, you’re quite unsure of the self-made data.

you immediately made a beeline to the dance club booth which is managed by yangyang, the president also holding the title of your best friend. a cartoonish grin crept up on his face when he spots you walking towards him.

“so, what do you think? looks legit, huh?” he crossed his arms together, observing the design of the booth with a proud smile. the set-up is definitely eye-catching, not much decorations going on, adding to the simplicity of the white theme with gold touch-ups. you browsed through the plastered posters on the board, inviting people to sign up for their upcoming audition. looking up to the signboard hanging outside, you showed a thumbs up towards him, muttering a quick ‘perfect’.

“so what exactly is your booth doing? there’s not much… activity going on?” you scratched the non-existent itch on your left eyebrow. the boy in front of you gave you an eye roll before explaining that there will be mini dance games - or just dance as he worded. an amused sound left your lips as you bent down, dropping your signature in the guestbook on the wooden table.

“are you coming to the stage shows tonight? i heard there’s a new band performing,” your ears perked up instinctively upon hearing the words. after your sister graduated high school, nobody paid any attention to keep the band going. the zikas, a trio that made the music club strive back then. either the newer batches were too lazy to make an effort or too scared if they weren’t up to the already high standards of the school.

“i’m going if you’re going,” you simply stated, which made yangyang flash you the same grin from before. you said your simple goodbyes when people started lining up to try the just dance game at his booth. after he reminded you to wait for him by the statue, you went off to check out the food sales, eager to fill your growling stomach since this morning.

you can do this, sicheng. you can do this.

he made sure to double check the tuning of his guitar for one last time before joining the rest of his bandmates on the stage. his tall and slim physique surely left an impact, seeing that some of the audience suddenly became more invested in the performance compared to the others. he’s wearing some band’s shirt - probably green day since it’s quite similar to your sister’s posters in her room, black leather jacket and his black hair middle parted. not to miss the silver pendant necklace on his neck, sparkling under the spotlight.

the moment he struck the pick through the strings of his electric guitar, the drummer and bassist followed after, producing a melody that is pleasing to your ears. he held the microphone closer to his mouth, singing the lyrics as you bobbed your head up and down to the covers they sang - american idiot and helena are the ones you recognized since you’ve heard the songs so often. yangyang on the other hand kept on sipping the chocolate milkshake in his hand, vibing with the music as well.

the next song was a sentimental one which you assumed is a self-composed one, since you’ve never heard this song before. before you know it, the performance is over and the audience have started packing up their belongings to hang out somewhere else or go home.

“good job everyone, we did well,” yuta, who played the bass earlier, high-fived the rest of the band with a sly grin on his face. guanheng chugged the mineral water down his throat before stashing his drumsticks into the bag while sicheng was lost in his thoughts. he doesn’t know why but you stood out from the crowd, only able to see you just now. he wouldn’t say it’s a crush, not knowing anything about you but it definitely made him feel something. a trigger in his heart, not knowing where it leads to. but what he does know is that you caught his attention.

“and you know what he said? i’ll come back crawling to him just like his other exes. what the heck is even that?” you took out the binders from your locker while listening to ningning rant about her love life. since you haven’t had any relationships before, you’re not really a professional in this aspect of life so you just kept your mouth shut to avoid giving useless advice.

“that sounds so rude, he’s such a jerk,” you commented, taking the first bite of your sandwich afterwards. the tea-spilling session eventually came to an end when she reached her class first and you kept walking to mrs. walker’s, english being your first period. nothing exciting really happened in that class except someone got their phone confiscated for texting in class - just the usual things. classes later, it’s finally recess when you met up with ningning and yangyang in the cafeteria.

“first of all, cut him off. block him. everywhere,” yangyang emphasized the last word, knowing how much of an idiot the guy can be. you just scrolled through your socials, double tapping on certain posts that caught your eye. owning a cat looks fun, you made a mental note to bring the idea to your parents later. the bell rang which signals that classes are starting back soon and the same cycle of events continues before it’s time to go home.

you observed yangyang’s sharp moves, following to the beat of the song echoing in the dance room. it’s currently half past seven and he’s still here, beads of sweat running through his hair. and why would he stay in school so late, you may ask? obviously, he’s here for a reason and it being an upcoming dance tournament is the most accurate one. while you’re here, sitting on the floor, back against the mirror and legs straightened out with your phone in your hand. it amazes you how the goofy boy transforms 360°, being all serious when he’s in his element.

“let’s go home, i’m tired already,” he panted out breathlessly, using a cloth nearby to wipe his sweaty forehead. you wait for him by the glass door as he packs up his things when the lights in the music studio also switched off. you wondered it must be the band guys so you paid no attention whatsoever. of course, your predictions were right when you saw two lads stepping out.

since yangyang is taking too much time tidying up the dance studio and the music studio seems unoccupied, you decided to check it out for a bit. it’s been a long time since you last entered the room, always accompanying your sister for her extra practice when you were younger. not much has changed, except some additions of instruments can be seen. not seeing anything in the dark condition as the room is only illuminated by the faint lights from the hallway, you pushed the switches down only to be met by a gasp.

“what are you doing here?” the tall boy approached you, a stern look visible on his fine features. your eyes scrambled around the room in an attempt to find any logical excuses for your ‘break-in’ but to no avail. your tongue was dry, not a sound escaping your throat when you heard yangyang’s voice, signalling your cue to exit the room and escape from the tension building between you and the boy. he just shook his head, the black hair bouncing left to right as he finally caught on.

it’s you, you’re the girl from the crowd. and your name is y/n.

the walk home was filled with one-sided conversations where yangyang kept on babbling about how he should improve the choreography he created earlier while you only added small comments. your mind is filled with embarrassment, too much that you feel slightly mad at yourself. why didn’t you say anything earlier? now, you look like a complete idiot with communication issues in front of that boy.

“yeah, and remember that pasta? we should definitely try it again, it’s like, so good,” yangyang said, earning a nod from you when you saw the boy from last night’s music studio tragedy approaching your table. you tried to look away but it was too late.

“dude, just wanna let you know that mr. park is seeing us after school,” your grip on your fork loosens up when you realized he wasn’t talking to you. maybe he forgot about the incident? you really hope so.

“yeah, totally. thanks sicheng,” yangyang playfully winked at the latter, earning a disgusted look from him who started walking away. he glanced back at you with a smug smile on his plump lips, making you freeze up again.

he didn’t.

“are you okay, y/n? feeling sick?” ningning furrowed her eyebrows upon seeing your sudden change of demeanor. you shrugged her off and continued to consume the macaroni placed on the tray in front of you, mentally cursing at yourself for the poor life choice you’d made. well, at least you know that his name is sicheng, right?

oh boy, you’re in for a long ride.

you can’t wait to go home and snuggle under the covers, today has been a long and tiring one for you. you had three pop quizzes as if all the three teachers intended so, your class had to run multiple laps during p.e. and so on. you’re already planning your routine in your head, trudging your way to the lockers when you saw him leaning against yours, scrolling down his phone.

“crap,” you muttered under your breath.

there it is, the smirk on his face returns when he spots your figure approaching. oh, how you wish you could wipe it off his face. he moved a couple steps backwards to give you some space to arrange your things before locking it, turning your head towards him.

“i’m sorry, why are you here again? and if it’s because of last night, then i’m sorry if it bothered you or anything,” you huffed out.

“what? i didn’t really care, it’s not like you were stealing anything, right?” he squinted his eyes, eyeing you up and down suspiciously, laughing shortly after seeing you get riled up.

“damn, you really need to learn how to take a joke. y/n, right? i’m sicheng, nice to meet you.”

“why exactly are we having this meet-and-greet or whatever this introduction is?” you crossed your arms, waiting for his response. but he didn’t, immediately turning on his heels and making his way towards the stairs, probably going to the studio.

“jerk,” you cursed under your breath, walking out the school building.

“what? you got accepted? seriously?” ningning’s voice echoed against the cafeteria walls, earning surprised and annoyed glances from other students who were either satisfying their grumbling stomach or simply having conversations. yangyang softly nudged her elbows using his, asking her to lower her voice down before telling you to go on. you were quite surprised as well, the acceptance email was not what you expected to receive. when you filled in the application form, it was just a mere shoot-your-shot agenda to see if you’d make the cut. although this is just a camp, you’re still unsure of what lies ahead.

“yeah, it starts next week. but i’m so nervous though,” you sipped the iced coffee in your hands. you’ve only watched videos of people producing their own music from scratch which you start to take an interest in. however, you’ve never done it hands-on before, only having basic music theory knowledge thanks to the piano lessons your parents signed you up for when you were young.

“you’ll do awesome, i promise,” yangyang gave you a reassuring smile, making you release some tension from the overthinking you’ve had since you received the email last night.

“thanks yang.”

now, here you are on the first day of attending the internship camp. you stood in front of the tall mirror hanging on the wall, straightening your cardigan and applying some makeup onto your face as touch-ups. it’s currently 7:40 in the morning, the earliest time you’ve ever woken up on a saturday. your siblings are still swallowed in their states of sleep. you double-checked the contents in your tote bag, making sure that no important things are left behind. you totally don’t intend on leaving a bad first impression on your first day.

after bidding a swift goodbye to your parents who just woke up, you drove your mother’s old honda to the completely new destination - mbyte studios. the tall building with light grey and blue painted walls definitely made it stand out, a futuristic look catching the eyes of the passersby. taking a deep breath, you entered the main lobby before being escorted to a room on the second floor. you assume it’s a waiting room for all participants of the camp, scanning that majority of the occupiers might be college students. you thanked god that the camp takes place on weekends so your high school senior life won’t be interrupted that much.

DAY 1

your eyes widened when you spot sicheng with the same white and blue tag you’re wearing, seated on the sofa. what the hell is he doing here? you avoided acknowledging his presence, trying to make yourself as unnoticed as possible heading over to occupy the seat farthest from his. after quite some time staring at the paintings hanging on the wall, a middle-aged lady with a petite figure entered the room, making you sit up straight.

“welcome to mbyte studios! i’m the assistant director, mrs. hwang. first and foremost, congratulations on being accepted. it’ a pleasure to witness the start of your musical journey embarking here. i believe that we should know each other first?” she gestured for any volunteers. sicheng stood up from his seat, charisma evident in his stance which left quite an impression on the others. the strong confidence in the way he speaks made the woman smile amusingly.

some names later, it was your turn to introduce yourself. the moment you stood up, he immediately recognized you and you were sure you caught him making some faces. the ice-breaking session went well thankfully, mrs. hwang elaborating on the social rules and the itinerary throughout the whole six days. one that caught your attention was assisting the producers on making a track from scratch, just like you had dreamed of.

when it was finally time for lunch break, you shot up from your seat to get away from sicheng as fast as possible but to your dismay, he beat you to it, jogging up towards your standing position.

“i didn’t know you were into music, what’s the sudden occasion?”

“it’s none of your business actually,” you sneered back, obviously not favouring his attention.

“woah, relax. you’ve got quite a temper, don’t you? by the way, we’re having lunch together,” he placed his phone onto a nearby table, pulling a chair for you.

“just eat on your own, i don’t have the appetite,” you flash a sarcastic grin before disappearing into the women’s restroom. he just laughed bitterly at your response before walking towards the food counter, joining his newly made friend, jaehyun. being the same age, they’re easy to click.

DAY 2

“today, we’ll be focusing on the recording process. you’ll be assigned into groups that will have a tour of the whole department. our staff will facilitate each group,” the manager said loud and clear. you remembered his name was johnny. the tattoo on his shoulder really stands out, considering the fact that he’s always wearing a sleeveless shirt.

but what are the odds when your groupmate is none other than the guy himself, sicheng. it’s like the universe truly resented you for having to be associated with him at any event. your group was escorted to the farthest recording studio on the floor. to say that this was a great experience is truly an understatement, making you observe the gears used in astonishment. you hate to admit it but sicheng has a handful of knowledge on this particular topic, always correctly answering the questions directed by the staff. maybe it wasn’t quite surprising upon knowing that his career choice is a singer, not that you care anyways.

again, nothing out of the ordinary happened today, except that you and sicheng had lunch on the same table. of course, it’s not that you accepted his offer but he welcomed himself to the spot. being the quickly favoured participant among the rest, obviously they welcomed him with open hands. he placed himself among the two guys sitting at the right corner, eyeing you whose eyes are still not leaving the article you were skimming through. with the last spoon of food shoved into your mouth, you quietly excused yourself from the group. sicheng just watched your movements in subtle signs of annoyance.

with the final task of doing microphone check-ups, day two of the camp ended with a breeze. you can’t wait to go home, get into a warm bath and spend the night watching netflix. it was a tiring one indeed but you’re not one to complain. pushing the car keys into the ignition slot, the sound of the engine starting is still nowhere to be heard even after a couple of retries. you rested your forehead onto the steering wheel, cursing silently in your head, having to get a taxi and call your mother about this incident. you’re sure to be receiving a handful from her, not to mention her soft but stingful remarks.

“hey, are you okay?” a deep voice interrupts your stressful state of mind. looking up, it’s sicheng with a concerned look on display. you hesitantly shared your problem, making him press his lips together probably thinking of a solution.

“you know, i don’t really know how to fix your broken engine or whatever but i know someone who can. let me just ring him for a sec. and you’re coming home with me.”

and that’s how you ended up in the front passenger seat, sicheng steering with one hand and the other rested on the windowsill. the faint music from the radio can be heard, probably a song by jon vinyl. you’d steal quick glances to see his other hand dancing in the air, enjoying the rhythm of the song playing. besides that, it was silent as both of you are preoccupied with your own things - sicheng on the road while you on your phone. he tried to make small talk but you would say it’s unrequited, only replying with short sentences. after a good ten minutes drive, the sight of your brown painted gate becomes a sign for him to stop the moving car.

“your car is safe with my friend so you shouldn’t worry about it or anything. also, what’s your number? it’ll be easier for, you know the car business of course,” he reached over to unbuckle your seatbelt, handing over his phone to you after. the close proximity made your breath hitch, the dewy scent of his perfume diffusing into your nose. not too strong, he has a good taste.

“thanks and um, i’ll buy you a drink later. just for today.”

“are you asking me on a date?” there it is, the significant tug on the side of his lips making its presence once again.

“stop being so narcissistic and move along please,” you rolled your eyes before giving him a small wave, stepping into your property. sicheng stared at the numerals on his phone screen, a small, proud grin etched on before driving off the lane.

“how was the camp? met any cute boys?” the first thing you hear in the hue of the blue monday morning is ningning’s chirpy voice. sometimes you wonder how she gets all boosted up at this hour of the day. yangyang is the polar opposite, his appearance as if he just got out of bed, the hood of his denim jacket resting on top of his auburn hair.

“it was good and no, no cute boys. but sicheng was there,” you replied nonchalantly, a mischievous grin crept onto her lips. you can almost predict the words that are going to spill out of her mouth.

“what’s up with her?” yangyang yawned, his eyes lazily gaze at you. you just lifted your shoulders, having no idea whatsoever. a ping sound was heard from your phone, notifying that a new message is received.

unknown: hey sicheng here

unknown: ur car may be ready tmr. want me to drive u there?

listening to your heart, you were about to type ‘no’ but remembering the fact that your parents will be busy the whole day tomorrow and yangyang is coming home late once again, you have no choice but to accept the lad’s help.

now you’re back in his vehicle, the same spot as before. you’ve only noticed now that a musical note charm is hung on the rearview mirror, a semiquaver to be exact. you’d say that it looks authentic, gold specks shining when sun rays hit the surface. observing the interior of his car, there are quite a number of small decorations.

“can we get coffee first? my treat for the car and the ride,” you suggested, looking at him whose eyes are focused onto the road. the traffic is quite pleasing today, nobody honking mindlessly at the other drivers and flipping each other off with the famous middle finger gesture. his side profile does look charming, some type of earrings dangling from his ears. if you’re going to be honest, his appearance does seem to be your type. you’re not one to say about his persona though, always managing to bother you at any time of the day.

“sure, wanna go to the new cafe? i heard it’s good,”. you just nodded while he skillfully steered the steering wheel, moving the car to the new destination. you turned your eyes to look outside from the car window, seeing the one hundred and one manners of the citizens. a mother struggling to take her child who’s having a tantrum out of the toy shop, a young couple having their romantic meal in the french cafe. the motion of the car stopping awakened you who was being distracted by your clouded mind.

from the moment you stepped into the place, the interior caught your attention. the light brown painted walls with black furniture complementing each other perfectly, making a retro-like appearance. the funky song playing faintly in the background surely is a mood-setter, just how you like it. even the barista serving you is being friendly, making a couple of small talk in the midst of operating the machines.

you would say that it was a pleasureful day for you. the exquisite taste of latte washing down your dry throat, getting your car back without too much babbling from your dear mother and the gap between you and sicheng closing in for a little.

the last sentence baffled you for a second.

DAY 3

sicheng’s eyes shot open from the short slumber he was trying to get - failing miserably even, upon spotting you enter through the door. he pulled the chair beside him in hopes for you to get his message and take the seat. a frown made its way onto his face when you just waved at him, making your way to another spot a few chairs to the front. he scoffed, head tilting slightly before approaching you instead. you shot him a puzzled look, roughly translating to ask him what he’s doing here.

“i just want to be close to you. now focus,” he redirected his eyes onto the muscular man who just entered the room. he’s a songwriter - the best one in this company to be exact. you were focused on each point he explained, making small notes on your laptop. it’s not always that you’ll get a chance to be guided by a four-time award winning songwriter, might as well gain some benefits from it.

“another tip i have is to use all types of chords. remember, do not stick to the same ones, you’ll lack creativity. for instance, use major, minor, dominant, diminished, and augmented. i promise you, more ideas will be flowing and better quality songs will be produced. you got me?” the questioned, earning buzzing sounds of positive responses from the hall.

DAY 4

another day of group work, you’re given the task to create a melody according to the themes given - for your group, it’s love. looking at sicheng, he’s already on his electric guitar, strumming mindlessly to find the perfect note to start on. the rest of you are now juicing out some thoughts on this particular sense of human nature.

“love gives us thrill, the feeling of excitement, the feeling when you’re uncertain about something but when you have that special someone with you, you’re sure to wing it all,” jaehyun suggests, earning nods of approval from the rest of your groupmates.

“you’re a pro at this, mr. romantic,” you teased him, earning a soft chuckle. a dimpled smile is etched onto his features, rosy cheeks and his eye smile making you fawn. prince-like visual and a sense of humour? a two in one package, totally.

“not really. i guess i’m a sucker for romance movies,” he rubbed the back of his neck. your small conversation came to a halt when you heard a crooked, loud sound coming from the rough strum on the guitar strings. you turned around to see sicheng gazing directly towards the both of you, a sharp one even. jaehyun just blinked his eyes before catching onto the situation unfolding in front of him while you’re still being completely oblivious. you tilted your head in confusion, unsure of what’s gotten into him.

it’s the day that yangyang has been looking forward to since the past few weeks, his dance tournament. you’re seated with ningning on the bleachers, music from the loudspeakers echoing through the walls. with the cheers of the bewatchers whenever someone captivated them with a trick or dance move, usually the risky ones, it truly is a loud atmosphere.

“now, welcoming contestant number 43 to take the stage,” the host announced, you and ningning clapped with all your might, shouting words of encouragement as well. yangyang took a deep breath before lifting his right hand up, cueing for the music to start playing. just then, there’s the sound of someone plopping down on the hard surface next to you - sicheng. he’s looking casual today, a light yellow hoodie replacing his usual dark clothings.

“what are you doing here?” you shout whispered while ningning raised her eyebrows at you.

“didn’t yangyang tell you? i’m here to watch him dance,” he countered your question before darting his eyes back to the boy who’s busy popping on the dance floor, tinashe’s song playing in the background. he ended his routine with a moonwalk, making his way to the end of the stage. you’re confident that he’s going to win the competition, looking at how precise and clean his moves were. all the late night practices he had eventually paid off when he’s announced as the second placer. nonetheless, he’s still proud of himself, not to mention you and ningning who have been with him throughout his whole journey.

“you did well,” sicheng welcomed him with a fist bump which he reciprocated back. you didn’t know that they were this good of friends.

“i’m starving,” he rubbed his hand onto his stomach, making you remember that your stomach has been rumbling since you only ate a cereal bar that morning. you were about to catch up to yangyang and ningning who were walking fast ahead when you felt a tug on your shirt, looking down to see sicheng crouching down to tie your loose shoelaces.

“you might fall,” he placed his hands into the pockets of his hoodies, waiting for you to come along.

“um, thanks,” you muttered out before catching the glances given by your friends, later teasing you about the scene.

roars of students can be heard coherently, filling the basketball court. the basketball captain, a tall one with black charcoal hair is shooting a three-pointer. the players are then called over to their respective sides for whatever strategy their coaches will be implementing in the third-quarter. the home team is currently leading by five points, knowing that the players wearing the significant red and black jersey have been training their asses off for a while now.

but why exactly did you come to the game tonight? besides from the main event happening in the moment, the other reason is now standing in his position, strumming his electric guitar producing a funky sound that vibrates through the walls - a cue for the start of another buzzing stage. sicheng has been bugging you about watching him perform tonight and after quite some time evaluating, why not? when he finally caught you among the crowd, he flashed you a flirtatious wink. right before the band bowed as gratitude to the audience, he gave you a gesture to wait for him at the back of the gym.

“you came! but seriously, thank you,” he rested the sparkly white guitar against the wall, enveloping you into a hug. this is new, you tried to hide the flustered state of yours as you reciprocated his movement. from the corner of your eyes, you can see a black-haired guy approaching the two of you, followed by one with long, white hair and a bandana nicely keeping the fluffy strands in tact.

“ooh, who’s this?” the first one wiggled his eyebrows, later introducing himself as guanheng, the latter named yuta. to your surprise, the bond between you and them are quick to form with guanheng piloting the conversation. not to mention his subtle jokes making you giggle at times.

“well y/n, your little boyfriend here is getting jealous so we’ll excuse ourselves for now. see you whenever,” guanheng banging his drumsticks into the air while yuta gave you a quick wave before disappearing into the store room of the gymnasium. the nickname they gave sicheng surely made you a bit shy.

boyfriend?

DAY 5

you’re seated in front of the computer screen, your chin resting on the palm of your hands and the tabs of different colours left untouched. you redirected your gaze onto the projector screen, the words ‘arrange, mix, edit and master like a pro’ on it. a long sigh leaving your lips, you try to remember what the producer said earlier.

don’t make the song sound too repetitive

a good buildup promises a good melody

you can have a certain instrument playing only on one part for cinematic impact

DAY 6

“i’m hyo and you’re,” she moved the wheels of her chair to the back a bit to take another look at the clipboard resting on the desk, “sicheng, y/n and jaehyun, right?” the three of you nodded in harmony, anticipating for the next order that will be given.

“okay cool, we’ll be brainstorming first,” and she proceeded to explain what the requirements for this project are. you mouthed out the important points she gave, soft rock, heartbreak and drums. you’re on a roll today, contributing your countless ideas during the first few minutes of the discussion. sicheng just looked at you discussing with hyo, your lips pursed slightly. his gaze seems full of adoration, even jaehyun said so.

“any objections?” hyo looked over to the rest.

“i think she made some great ones. i’m sure this project will come out fresh,” jaehyun voiced out his opinions, sicheng nodding after. he went straight to handling the instruments , you and jaehyun collaborating for the mixing process. hyo eventually chimed in on some times, giving small advice whenever you seem stuck in the brain. with the hours ticking by, you’re feeling more satisfied than ever with your earphones in, listening to the final product created.

all of the participants are then assembled in the hall again, waiting for a final speech by the director which formalizes the end of the camp. sure, you’ve earned worthy knowledge throughout the six days. but if you’re being brutally true to the sound of your heart, it would be how you came to learn sicheng’s true antics. he might be the cocky guy who thinks they have the power to do anything but in truth, he’s just some guy with an honest heart, honest intentions to know you better.

summer break, your most anticipated event for the past few weeks. the moment the last bell rang, that scene in high school musical 2 kept replaying in the back of your head, the students doing a parade in front of the lockers picturing how your little heart is doing backflips in your chest right now. all the beach trips ningning planned is making you feel dizzy. you turned around to a voice calling out your name from the end of the hallway, your eyes catching the sight of sicheng jogging towards your spot. he stopped in front of you, hands on his knees catching his breath.

“are you free tomorrow night? there’s a party at guanheng’s and you know, it would be really cool if you join,” his fingers tracing onto each other, waiting patiently for your response.

you didn’t even have the time to process his invitation when ningning crashed her body against yours, yangyang following suit.

“a party? y/n would totally love to come, right?” ningning nudged your arms softly while yangyang tried to stifle a giggle. you were about to mouth out a ‘what?’ before sicheng cut you off.

“cool, you guys should come too. tomorrow at 10,” he and yangyang exchanged finger guns gestures before leaving the three of you. you just stood there in disbelief, eyeing them up and down before ningning dragged you to the parking lot. a stringful of grumbles escaped your lips, making the guy laugh obnoxiously.

“i can’t believe you guys did that,” you extended the seat belt, buckling it to the slot beside you.

“please. but you do want it, right?” you can’t deny, what she said was true. plus, you should have some fun and distress before having to go back to the usual dull routine of yours.

“how do i look?” you turn around, revealing the baby pink crop top and flare pants on your legs. it’s not your best outfit but giving the cliche excuse - you have nothing to wear, the two articles totally complements each other

“you look hot, that’s all i gotta say. right, yang?” ningning lifted her head from the headboard, glancing over at yangyang who’s going over his messages.

“yeah totally,” he lifted his hands, giving you a thumbs up. you threw a jacket onto your shoulders and grabbed the black purse on your dresser, glancing at the wall mirror one last time.

from the moment you stepped into the venue - guanheng’s place, smells of alcohol lingered around your nose, a group of people cheering ever so loudly over a game of beer pong, some already passed out on the couch. not to mention a brownish stain on the carpet - probably from someone throwing up. the mess would take a whole day to get rid off, you note to yourself. your friends are no longer to be found, both of them getting affiliated with god knows what. your eyes scanned the living room for sicheng but his presence is still nowhere to be found.

you decided to step towards the kitchen bar, pouring a drink for yourself. the mixed sweet and sour taste of it remained on your tongue for a couple of seconds. looking over at the snacks served, you grabbed a strawberry flavoured lollipop from the clear bowl. the crowd is cheering loudly for some type of incident happening at the back of the room, the music has been turned up to be a little louder than the volume before and you’re suddenly getting a little bit overwhelmed. you grabbed your purse and stepped out, inhaling some fresh air and looking up to the starry night sky.

“y/n? where have you been?” sicheng approached you from behind, making you a bit startled.

“sorry, hanging out outside can calm me. where did you go?” you popped the lollipop into your mouth.

“some jerk decided to throw up in front of me,” you pinched your nose with a disgusted expression, making him roll his eyes.

“do you want me to accompany you out here?” he offered. you just nod your head, placing yourself on the patio with him following suit. the sweetening flavour empowering your senses. it’s definitely much more calm out here, allowing you to clear up your mind. it’s not that you hate the atmosphere in the house right now, you’re just not in the mood.

“you know, you look pretty,” you turned around to meet his face. his brown eyes brimming with unconfessed love.

“shut up, stop with the jokes,” you lightly land a smack on his arms.

“what if i say i’m not joking?” he looked straight into your eyes, trying to find any emotion inside you. the sudden seriousness is making you feel much more awkward so you forced out a laugh, turning your attention right back upwards. the stars are shining brightly tonight, you can almost spot a constellation.

“i know what you’re doing, dong sicheng. just stop it already, it’s not working on me.” denial, that’s what you’re experiencing in the hot minute.

a gentle tug can be felt on your wrist, his eyes still not leaving yours.

“didn’t anyone tell you before? you’re really pretty. like, i can’t even describe it to you. you’re just,” he leaned over to caress your cheeks, “pretty,”.

what jaehyun said on the other day is true, after all.

love gives us thrill, the feeling of excitement, the feeling when you’re uncertain about something but when you have that special someone with you, you’re sure to wing it all.

your heart is beating so fast, it could fall out of your chest at any moment now. even the faint music blasting through the speakers inside the house can’t flush down the sound of your heartbeat. you’re not used to this, the sudden need of the significant skin to skin contact that symbolizes love between two individuals.

“can i?” his face in a very near proximity from yours, whispering into your right ear with his honey-like voice. you pulled the candy away from your mouth and nod, giving him the approval he needed before he dived in. heat rose from your stomach to your chest. you could only focus on how soft his crimson lips felt on yours, invading your privacy by all senses. you felt the kiss expand beyond your bodies, whirling you round, swirling you into the stars. he pulled away with a soft smile, you thought you could melt right then and there.

“wow,” that was the only word escaping your throat. your jumping heart still hasn’t settled down yet, your very first kiss still feeling surreal. you could see that sicheng is very much mirroring your emotions, his slender fingers grazing over his lips - the one that has come in contact with yours.

“the strawberry lollipop is sweet,” he commented, making the both of you laugh.

a ping from your phone awakened you from the gushy eye contact with him, unlocking it only to find yangyang’s text message. the second part of it made you fluster.

yang: yo r u coming in or what? and congrats for the kiss, we thought we’d have to wait longer for this

[yinses]

meticulously

| you just needed him to do this one thing … then you wouldn’t ask for anything more | sukuna ryomen rating: 18+

a/n: we only accept au sukuna in this nandos. my second longest work to date and its sukuna.

maybe it was because you were tired of hearing it all.

about how you were such a good girl. so ambitious and focused on your studies. they made it seems so honorable that you were willing to put boys on the back burner in order to achieve your goals.

as if you had a choice.

as if you weren’t a timid little thing who incidentally teased the edges of something before falling back the recesses of your comfort zone. how many apps had you applied for only to waste the time of yourself and others. those sites were never meant to find true love- just conveniently hook ups to release pent up stress.

and you had a lot of it.

so maybe that's why you decided that it was okay to have a little more to drink tonight- to wander further from your friends into the wilderness. you could have one day to make a bad decision and face the consequences for it.

clubs were never your thing which was likely another reason why you were in this drought.

it wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be, as old habits die hard. every so often you were approached with promises of drinks and suggestive conversation. and each one you shied away from and earned a scoff before they already started in pursuit of their next challenge.

it was possible that you were doing it wrong. you lacked the confidence to just ask for what you wanted, mostly because you didn’t know.  play coy, they told you, make them do the work for you.

so you find yourself on the dance floor instead with a new strategy. lost among the masses with the bass thrumming in your veins. here there would be no room for talk.

it only takes one song for you to feel him behind you. he doesn’t whisper sweet things in your ear. instead, his hands start at your hips, just a brush of touch to see how you react. when you don’t move away, he pulls you close and moves your hips in slow circles.

you’re immediately attracted to his confidence. in the way he guides your hand upward, instead of lower, encouraging your hand to grip at the short of his hair. the angle it provides is an open invitation for him to begin placing open mouthed kisses up the length of your neck. when he reaches your ear he pauses, and you hear the dark timber of his voice.

“i saw you turning away all those little boys earlier. what are you looking for, kitten?”

kitten. you shiver at the name.  main characters in novels always turned into a giddy mess over the pet name, losing themselves to the velvety whispered promises and underlying possession. the name brought more of a thrill than anything else; to know that he had been watching you in the distance.

you fight the urge to turn, wanting to stay in the moment for as long as you could. for some reason, like this, you think you could become the person he thinks you are. someone who knows what she wants and doesn’t accept anything less. back at the bar, men asked you too many questions and allowed the opportunity for your insecurities to bleed through.

like this, you only needed to admit one thing.

“i want you.”

its stupid and reckless. he could be a list of anything dangerous yet you advanced him to the top of the list. it was too early to tell but you hope he could be the one. then all of of the little details wouldn’t matter. you were here to lose your first time, not remember it.

you don’t expect him to use the grip on your hips to turn you, the sudden shift and lingering alcohol leaving you disoriented for a moment.

he was tall, though you had judged so from the reach it took to curl your fingers into his nape. the hair you had been blindly acquainted with turned out to be an unusual pale shade of pink. but it worked for him, and the interesting accompaniment of vermillion eyes. you were just starting to account the black lines of dark ink peeking from under his sleeve when his voice drew your attention back to his face.

his grin was telling. he wanted you to take him in because he knew you’d like what you saw. he doesn’t even need to ask. it was too early to tell if he was calling your bluff or enabling it.

he brings his mouth down to hover above yours, lips brushing as he speaks,”so your place or mine?”

this is what you needed, no thoughts beyond what your bodies could offer. this was the man who would take your virginity.

the first sign of hesitance you show is when offering your home. it was close enough to the campus and your neighbors would hear your scream if your ignorance turned out to be your undoing. he agrees, naturally, because why would he turn down a willing lay?

your fingers fumble quickly and shakily as you quickly text your friends that you’re bringing someone back. the answers vary from concern, to disbelief, to excitement and back to apprehension. ultimately, your roommates agree to leave the apartment to you for the night but vow to turn up first thing in the morning.

all the while, his hand is at the small of your back as he guides you towards the entrance. the icy cold air that hits you when you step outside is unkind to the thin sheen of sweat you’d accumulated. the price paid to look good rarely came cheap. the heat radiating from behind you was less of a comfort and more of a reminder as you shift from foot to foot in wait for a taxi.

“ names’ sukuna.”

it came as a jest rather than to inform. the way your eyes widen in realization proving that you’d skimmed over that step unintentionally. the men prior had offered it up without prompting as if it as their key trait in the introductions. while you’d grinded on this man for nearly two songs and hadn’t even thought to ask.

you stumble over your own name and his grin widens further.

he leans close enough for your visible breaths to mingle.

“you’re so fucking cute, kitten. i can’t wait to unwrap you.” 

and then he was kissing you senseless.

he tastes of whiskey and menthol, a savory smokiness that would be a lingering flavor for hours to come. there was a unique sense of excitement that came from kissing a stranger. the anxiousness blurred the lines between your thoughts and emotions. his tongue met yours and swept it into a fast, claiming pace.

just when your hands rose to find purchase on his shirt, the incoming headlights fanned against your joined bodies. sukuna, the apparent level-headed one, pulled away for you.

“don’t worry, we’ll have plenty to explore soon.”

sukuna surprisingly does not encroach on your space in the back of the taxi. his arm rests comfortably along the back of your seat, but his fingers don't chase the easy access to the back of your neck there. it makes you annoyingly anxious as your knee jumps in place. you refrain from looking at him in the corner of your eye already knowing what awaits you on his lips.

the remainder of the drive is short and uneventful.it takes less than ten minutes between the club and the arrival at your front door. you impress yourself with the lack of tremors as you fit your key into the door and welcome you into your home.

the light from the kitchen highlights only what you need to make it to your bedroom without injury. too many had happened before that became habitual prior to any night out.

there is a rattle in your spine as you carefully pull one shoe off than the other. its an action that you take your time with as you gather your thoughts. when you look back at him, he hasn’t wandered a step from the entrance, though his gaze travels where the light allows. at the feel of your gaze he cocks a brow,”i’m waiting on you kitten.”

right.

this was happening.

you’d made it this far.

tilting your head, you lead him to your bedroom without another word. you’re thankful that your widow sits in view of the night sky, taking the place of any artificial light you might have to provide.

every muscle is as stiff as a board as you toss your shoes into a corner. your mouth opens to stupidly point out that this is your room.

sukuna laughs, because why wouldn’t he after learning the mysterious vixen not only had a name but was a timid little thing. still he didn’t cater to your anxiety nor did he allow it to slow his pace.

his arms flex as he reaches behind himself to pull at his shirt from the tag. you’d caught glimpses of his tattoos in the darkness of the club without really looking, but you haven't been able to connect the lines of a pseudo sleeve. the double bands circle both wrists and biceps with encompassing circles swirling around his shoulders. it was a simple yet uniform pattern. you could just see the beginning of another figure curing from behind his neck as well.

“i’m starting to think that i should just be flattered when you get quiet like that.”

his hand makes itself home again at your waist as he walks you backwards until the edge of your bed knocks against the back of your knees. sukuna keeps you from falling back while his fingers go to curl at the hem of your dress.

“it’s only fair,” he says in your ear, as if the removal of his shirt was any kind of equivalence.

he helps you along the way, or maybe makes it worse as he starts to kiss your neck. his hands slide along every new available inch of skin from your thighs to your navel. he shamelessly cups your bra, squeezing the mounds in appreciation.

sukuna pulls away to rid you of the dress entirely. before you can adjust to the loss, he leans back in to unhook your bra as an afterthought.

he grins when you immediately bring your arms over your exposed chest,”don’t be shy. this is what you wanted, right?”

you don’t miss the implied probe behind the tease. it's faint but it’s comforting to know he’s still seeking consent and it eases a bit of your anxiety.

it makes you pliant enough for him to cup the backs of your thighs and lie you back against the sheets. though the moment your bare skin comes in contact with the sheets with his broad form hovering over you, all the brief conviction shrivels up.

your hands curl into the bedding for leverage when his weight is suddenly there to ease you back down. his arms slip around you to anchor you in place, pinning you under the hard warmth of his chest. his lips meet your ear, tongue sliding along the shell,” these mixed signals are going to get old real quick, kitten. “

there is a warning there but you don’t know what exactly it alludes too. how could you when you’d invited a complete stranger into your home.

but sukuna seems to know what to look for, eyes carefully watching the way you shy away from his touch yet draw yourself back on your own. he’s attune to the push and pull, seeming to understand the paradoxical conundrum that you’d drug him into.

you can just barely catch the cut of his smile in the darkness,”are you a virgin, kitten?” he asks, voice light and cool.

the way his body is keeping you in place makes it impossible for you to curl in on yourself, your embarrassment left on display.

“oh baby, if you let me, i’ll take good care of you.”

and how could you not agree to that?

he swallows your affirmation, tongue pushing into your mouth and making you groan.

“ ‘m gonna make you feel so good.”

his hands slide between the apex of your thighs to cup you, digits gliding along your covered slit. two fingers from his other hand press against the aperture of your mouth with the single command to suck.

you only hesitate briefly, tongue flicking out to taste the salt from his fingers. his impatience grows in the moment, idly feeding you a few inches until your lips hollow to stop him before he can reach the back of your throat. it feels more like a sloppy mess than anything remotely sexy as you drool around him, sucking harder to contain the wetness.

but sukuna seems to eat up the attention, idly thrusting in and out when he can. “you’re such a good learner,” he praises with hoarseness.

a garbled squeak manages to leave you as the elastic of your panties is pulled from your hips. you can feel the stick trail connecting you to the fabric, but seeing it is a whole new wave of mortification.

sukuna is able to tug them down to your ankles before your legs can lock up. “don’t be shy. i love filthy girls like you.“ your nerves jump to attention when he presses his thumb against your throbbing clit. “i can work with this.”

you gasp, lips losing their grip on his fingers, as you press your head back against the pillow. heat rises in the low of your stomach, a sensation that you’d never been able to achieve on your own. he starts with a single digit, easily making its way through your passage with the slick provided. his fingers crook in search of an ideal angle, making a sound of encouraging praise when you keen and rock your hips down for more.

your lashes flutter with the effort of keeping them open as he manipulates friction against your sex.without warning, he adds a second finger in alongside the first,”kitten you have no idea how happy i am that you grinded back against me on that dance floor.” the introduction allows for a scissoring action as he tests the stretch of your walls.

you’re happy to have the flat to yourself as the next whimper shatters your coherency, snapping any restraint that you had on your volume. sukuna chuckles at your cry, flexing his touch to reach new depths.

“i really wanted to see what you could do with your mouth but i don’t think i can wait.”

he gives one last swipe against the tackly mess before he fumbles with his belt. you don’t get offended when he only drops his pants far enough to free his cock. its distracting enough watching him stroke himself idly to fullness. sukuna harbors no shame as he cants his hips, fucking into the tight circle of his fist.

he pulls his wet fingers from your lips and you swallow around the absence.

you’re immediately grateful when he pulls out a condom, uncaring when the empty foil packet gets lost on your floor.

sukuna can feel the tightness as he palms your hip and positions himself at the stretch of your entrance.

“don’t go getting all nervous on me. i went through such a great deal to prepare you for this.”

his hand slides past your naval to grip your breast, rolling the hardening peak with his thumb. the lack of attention they’d received thus far acts as enticing interference.

he still doesn’t go for the unanticipated approach, keeping you vaguely aware by running the head of his cock up and down your dripping cunt.

it’s still easier said than done as all the reddit and gossip forums come reeling back the the forefront. you hadn’t even thought to get a towel, what if there was a lot of blood- too much? should you have gotten painkillers ?

above you sukuna tsks and you jolt from the sharp pain of him cruelly pinching your nipple. when you go to protest, he merely gives you a look, holding your gaze while his head drops take the abused bud into his mouth.

when he gives a particularly hard suck you know what’s coming as his hips roll up against you.

he’s big. of course he’s big given that he’s your first and all that you’ve had prior to your own fingers are his. sukuna expresses a show of kindness that you weren’t expecting with the initial push, as he uses his grip to ease himself in slowly.

it still burns; the uncomfortable stretch as he drags the friction of his cock past the slick barrier. but its not thee sharp punch you were expecting even before the base meets your pelvis. your hand darts up to smack against the hard flat of his stomach to stop him there but the centimeters separating you were barely negligible.

his mouth pops off of your breast with a wet sound as you pant, squeezing experimentally around the width of him. it was more manageable than you were anticipating, and you adjust your hips in another trial. the movement pulls a sharp hiss from his lips and his fingers clamp down tighter at the curve of your waist.

his vermillion eyes are no longer slits of concentration, now blown wide to contain the depth of lust simmering there. there is a shudder a he holds himself back from fucking into you. “if you’re done playing, i’d like to fuck you now.”

instinct drives you to reach around him, nails gripping traction around his shoulder blades as he grates his hips. the motion starts the first thrusts of many as sukuna introduces you to the truest definition of fucking.

its gradual, the way he picks up speed, introducing each part of you to himself before overpowering the nerves with a firmer touch.you should be embarrassed by the broken sounds leaving your mouth, but you can hardly remember your own name let alone decency.

sukuna on the other hand, relishes in the way he fucks you stupid, taking each bite of your nail and shattered speech with pride. “you have the prettiest fucking mouth for a virgin.”

it was impossible to accept the praise with the way he was knocking the sense from you with each thrust. he made it feel so good. all of it. from the inclination to the way he filled you up.

he continues to slam inside, breathing barely affected by the effort of pulling you apart at the seams. god he just doesn’t shut up. and you don’t want him too. they way he can make you hang from each word. 

you don’t know how he can handle words with all the smugness oozing from is lips, “i know you wouldn’t know the difference. but they’re typically so quiet- biting their lip and shit as if they’d scare away their own orgasm.”

“but not you baby. you fucking speak to me.” its not the kind of praise you were expecting but you latch on to it anyway. his arm comes around your waist and brings you forward to pin against his frame.

you don't know what possesses you to do so, mayve its the new proximity,  but your hands cup his face and bring his lips to meet yours. sukuna doesn't fight the action but his attention is elsewhere as your head bobs with the effort of keeping your mouths attached. ultimately it's the sharpness of your teeth against his bottom lip that prompts him to participate.

his tongue shoves past your lips to twist with yours. then he angles his hips just so and you sob. its an epiphany for you but its exactly what sukuna was looking for as he aims there again, and again, abusing that little patch of tissue that makes you witness nirvana.

sukuna drops a hand between your bodies to pass a thumb over your clit. he smirks when you jolt, still managing a perfect enunciation of your name even as his hips lose rhythm.

“all i need you to do tonight is come. can you do that for me, kitten?”

and you can, even without his instruction as your legs come up to squeeze around him despite the tremors. hot pleasure radiates up your spine from the source, washing over you in waves as you spill around him. it feels incredible to finally be able to let go. fuck, you don’t know if anything else will be like this first time. but you’re damn sure not going to forget it anytime soon.

even as your body falls pliant, sukuna keeps the pace as he chases his own release. the beginnings of bruises protest at your hips as he pounds a fragment tempo until he stills. the groan he lets out nearly brings you to a second orgasm as the sound shakes your body.

you’re thankful that he has enough energy to unhinge your legs from his hips, laughing to himself at the little trembles they give off. the act of him leaving you is a strange sensation to describe. despite the beating it took, your cunt still tries to hold him in.

it naturally earns you a crass comment as he uses the edge of your comforter to wipe himself down,”kitten, i don’t think you could handle another round of me.” you don't want to think about where he tossed the condom, just hoping that it was within the vicinity of the trashcan. but that was something future you would have to worry about.

you don’t offer him a place to stay and he doesn’t give you the opportunity to do so.

present you was starting to learn a new type of soreness as you gathered your legs against your chest and bring the blankets around your body. there wasn’t much of a delay as sukuna got dressed, tracing back his steps easily to his discarded shirt and tucking himself away long the way.

when he looks back at you, you must look like a child snuggled away for the night.

his looks at you with silent consideration. it was finally time to conduct the awkward ‘thank yous’ before the two of you parted ways forever. but at least it wasn’t you taking the walk of shame. though you don’t think it will be sukuna either with the swagger still linger in his step. 

it’s the blatant admission that you weren’t expecting, “ i like you. so i’ll leave my number for another time.”

that is not how a one night stand should end.

sukuna assumes you can’t handle the basic technological skill of adding his contact to your phone and proceeds to write it instead on the planner board posted by the door. it’s written so big you can just make out the numbers from the bed.

“be sure to call when you think you can handle me at my best.”

you wait, listening for the front door to click shut in his departure before you fall back against your bed. you should really be changing the sheets but you cant bring yourself to do more than roll onto your side.

you did it.

finally experienced all the gossip and jazz everyone talked out. 

and now you could focus and get back on track.

without prompt, your gaze drifted over to the dry erase board. sukuna had completely disregarded the individual squares dedicated to different days and messily scrawled his information between two weeks. it was a direct representation of the chaotic energy he gave off.

you would just clean it up in the morning along with any other remnants of this night.

...

or perhaps you could save as a sort of emergency contact.

you’d just discovered a new source of therapy after all. 

[checkingoutforheroes]

Natasha’s Birthday.

Pairing: Natasha x fem!reader

Words: 2786

Warning: None? I think.

Genre: Just fluffff. I PROMISE!

AU Notes: I suggest you listen to Uptown Girl by Westlife or Billy Joel while reading this💃🏻🕺🏻

Synopsys: Natasha is not happy to celebrate her own birthday party without her love life. Can Y/n make it?

              People starts filling the party area in the compound. Perks of being Tony Stark best friend, he will never miss any of your guy’s birthday. Party is a must! Natasha try to hid her sad and disappoint feeling on her own party but fail when Wanda can easily feel and read mind. 

             Y/n have been send to a week mission yesterday and there is no way she can come home. The team acknowledge that and tried their best to cheer their friend up. Thor arrived and Tony greet him. “Right on time, Point Break. Party about to start.” “I couldn’t miss the party. It’s birthday party, there must be a cake. How’s Natasha? I heard Y/n is on a mission.” The god of thunder asking his fellow Avengers. 

            Clint answer him while Tony ask Pepper to call Natasha and Wanda to come down. “This is a secret okay. Do not, any circumstances, tell Natasha this but Y/n is not on a ‘work’ mission.” Thor confuse “What do you mean?” “He means; Y/n is preparing a big surprise for Natasha. It’s more like a show for her. We all kind of have a part in it. Sorry you didn’t have time to rehearse with us.” Steve explaining to him and Thor just sip his drinks happily. “That’s okay. I like watching a show. We have them on Asgard too, when we celebrating something. Like this.”

             “And, done.” Wanda is doing Natasha’s hair and can’t help to hear her thought. “Maybe Y/n will celebrate it with you when she’s back. I know it past your birthday but I also know she definitely celebrating it.” Natasha just smiling on her chair, looking at Wanda through the mirror in front of them. “You invading my privacy.”

           Wanda just giggle to answer to her mentor. “Well you’re not helping by thinking too loud. We all here for you tonight and I swear I can hear Thor already betting with someone, something about a drink?”

          “Thor’s here huh? He’s been away in space but still can manage to come visit his fellow Avengers birthday party. While Y/n was away in a silly mission.” Natasha fake a smile.

          “I understand if you want to strangle Fury right now but it’s time to go.” Someone knocking on the door and Pepper come in to get them. “Well, I’m here to invite this birthday girl to her own birthday party.” Natasha smile at her. “We are going. Let’s go.” Pepper nodding “Good idea. Because Thor is just a step away to get everybody drunk.”

             They can hear the music blasting when they reach to the floor. “I guess you’re the one who handling the guests invitation?” Natasha asking Pepper. “If I let Tony, he’ll invite the whole Manhattan.” “You know me so well now, Pepper.”

           Tony grabs the mic from the DJ and announce Natasha’s arrival. “Ladies and gentlemen, I announcing the arrival of our birthday girl for tonight, The Double Agent imposter.” The crowds go silent and only Tony and Thor are laughing. “I was just kidding. The lovely Natasha Romanoff!!” Now the crowds cheering loudly.

           The party goes smoothly as planned. Some of the guess already drunk, chatting with their friends, playing at the pool table, throwing darts and here they are, in a group, sitting in a lounge, chatting with the birthday girl. “I see there are 3 piles of presents.” Asked by the birthday girl.

“They are from your rich guests here, your fan clubs and your little fans.” Clint told her.

“That’s sweet.” She said and Steve notice something is not right. “What is it? You not like it?”

“I like it.”

“She’ll kill to be here but no choice.” Steve try to makes his friend feel better at her own birthday.

“I asked Fury for an exchange, me instead, but you know that old man.” Clint assure her.

           “Thank you for trying making me feel better. Well, the God is here. What more can I wish for right?” Natasha smile at Thor. “I apologize, I didn’t bring anything from Asgard. I’m from another course and drop by here but I have this humble drink for you.” Thor hand the drink in an antique and unique bottle to Natasha and she takes it. “Thanks! I could really use it now though.” Tony looks unsatisfied at Thor. “And you didn’t bring one for me?!” Pepper interject him “Thanks to that. You are already drunk even when you’re sober.” “I cannot disagree to that statement.” Sam jokes. Clint, Tony and Steve excuse themselves.

          Wanda immediately stops her from drinking that drink. “Why did you stop me?” She asked and Wanda told her to enjoy the party. “You can drink that later because you might want to enjoy your ‘not so boring’ party first. That drink is probably too strong you know, not made for human.” “Everybody else is probably drunk right now, I don’t see why I can’t.” “I can’t let you because-”

         Right on time the music play and Natasha turn her head so fast to the stage when she hears Y/n voice. “...that.” Wanda finishes her sentences. Turns out it’s not just you. There Steve on the keyboard, Clint on drum, Tony on bass guitar and Maria Hill on electric guitar. All wearing the same old S.H.I.E.L.D old uniform, sleeve rolling up. They all have microphone with them and singing as backup vocals as Y/n go lead.

          Uptown girl,

          She’s been living in her uptown world

          I bet she never had a backstreet guy

          I bet her mama never told her why

          I’m gonna try for an uptown girl  (Uptown girl…)

         She’s been living in her white, bright world (white, bright world…)

         As long as anyone with the hot blood can (hot blood can…)

         And now she’s lookin’ for a downtown man (downtown man…)

         That’s what I am

         Her green eyes sparkles bright enough to light up the room when she sees you on stage singing the classic Uptown Girl. She turns to Wanda and Pepper asking whether it is really Y/n or a hologram. “Is that?” Wanda smiles wide and nods. “Yes, that’s Y/n.” Pepper add “I kill Tony myself if that is screen recording or hologram.”

              And when she knows

              What she wants

              From her time

             And when she wake up

             And make up

             Her mind

            She’ll see I’m not so tough (duet with Steve)

            Just because

            I’m in love with an uptown girl  (uptown girl)

           You know I see her in her uptown world (uptown world)

           She’s getting tired of her high class toys (high class toys)

           And all her presents from her

           Uptown boys  (uptown boys)

          She’s got a choice.

          Oh oh oh oh oh oh

          Oh oh oh oh oh oh

           Fury come out of nowhere “It is so awkward to see The Avengers singing. And dancing. Maybe not for Captain America.” Natasha turns to see Fury. “Nick. Is this part of your plan too?” He smiles “How can I not? She’s been begging me for the last two months to not give any of you a mission specifically on this day. It’s worth it.”

Natasha chuckles, out of words. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” Fury turns over and showing Natasha’s family. Yes, her family. Alexi, Melina and her little sister Yelena.

Wanda whisper at Natasha’s ear “They are real too.” She nods at Natasha “Go.”

           Thor walks towards Wanda and Fury. “I’ve never seen her smiling that big.” Pepper and Wanda looking at her greeting her family. “Me too.”

          “Such a noble thing you did.” Thor said to Fury and he just smiling. Natasha brings her family to introduce to Wanda, Thor and Pepper. They continue watching the show and Wanda pulls Natasha’s hand when Y/n calling them to come up the stage. “Let’s go. All of us. The band need us.” Pepper let Natasha’s family walks first. Wanda presenting Natasha and let Y/n takes her hand. She goes next to Steve, Pepper next to Tony, Thor doing silly dance next to Maria and be silly together while her family enjoying with all of them near Clint.

             Uptown girl

             You know I can’t afford to buy her pearl

             But maybe when my ship comes in

             She’ll understand what kind of guy I’ve been

             And then I win.

Y/n put her hand out for Natasha to take and walking on the stage. Que for her walking. Luckily Natasha play along.

             And when she’s walking

             She’s looking so fine

             And when she’s talking

             She’s say that she’s mine

Y/n pass her to her family and jog towards Tony.

             She’ll say I’m not so tough (duet with Tony)

             Just because

             I’m in love with an uptown girl  (oohhh)

             She’s been living in her white, bread world (oohhh)

             As long as anyone with a hot blood can (ooohhh)

             And now she’s looking for a downtown man (oohhh)

             That’s what I am

             Oh oh oh oh

             Oh oh oh oh

             While the rest of them singing the ‘Oh’ parts, you Y/n whisper to Natasha. “You know the next part. You’ve seen the video.” Natasha shyly looking at her family and friends until Yelena yells “Go! This is one in a lifetime chances.” Natasha looks at Y/n, her smile still plastering at her beautiful face. “Why are you doing this to me?” “Because I love you. Dance with me.” The music continues playing even they stop playing the instruments to gather around just like they practiced. Tony already set the music with Friday and it knows the queue.

             Uptown girl  (uptown girl)

             She’s my uptown girl

             You know I’m in love

             With an uptown girl  (uptown girl)

             My uptown girl

            You know I’m in love

             With a birthday girl  (uptown girl)

            She’s my birthday girl

            You know I’m in love

            With an uptown girl  (uptown girl)

             My uptown girl….

            They let their friend finish that song. Everybody enjoying the moment and each of them have biggest smile on their faces. Even Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D himself. It’s weird but yes, he is smiling. Y/n and Natasha go hugs their friends and family. Y/n stops at Natasha’s family while she’s with Steve and Maria at the other end.

“I know I just met you, but I already like you Y/n.” Melina says to Y/n and Alexi continue. “It’s hard to see her smile like that. Not even when she’s a kid.”

“Take a good care of my sister. I trust you.” Yelena said.

“She doesn’t even trust me! Her father.” Alexi said and Yelena jus rolling her eyes.

            Y/n look at them with hope and grateful in her eyes. “Thank you, for allowing me to marry your daughter, sister. I promise I’ll take care of her.” Yelena sees her sister coming toward them “What are you waiting for? Go put the ring on her finger, in-law.” Y/n smiles big at Yelena’s as she called her sister in-law.

             The crowds getting quiet when Tony put a ‘silent’ sign on the screen above them while the other screen focus on Y/n and Natasha without they even notice. Secretly Tony recording the whole thing since the beginning and make the whole documentary out of it. Y/n surely need to thank him.

             “Happy birthday, Natasha. You, look so, d.. divine. Tonight.” Y/n nervously said to her soon to be fiancé. Hopefully.

              “You sound nervous. You’ve been singing, dancing in front of hundreds people in this room and you’re nervous to praise me?” Natasha cupping your cheek with her right hand. Y/n pull her hand down and Natasha’s sensing something is wrong. “Y/n. What’s wrong?” They didn’t notice that all of The Avengers slowly moves behind Y/n. Even Y/n doesn’t know this part. It was Wanda’s idea. They all get down on their knee when Y/n is on her knee.

              “You’re right. I am nervous, now. I’m speechless. Over the edge, I’m breathless. I understand if… I understand...” Y/n is so nervous and let out a long sigh before looking at Natasha’s family behind her. They all nodding at Y/n. Y/n take a deep breath and pull out a red velvet box that have a diamond engagement ring from her pocket. Y/n get down on her knee.

              To be honest, Natasha is also nervous and shock, mix with happy and overwhelm when she sees not just Y/n who down on one knee but the whole Avengers. Her second family, also bending their knee but she keeps her composure. Y/n turns to see where Natasha’s looking and almost let out tears when she sees them. 

              They both looking eye to eye and Y/n starts talking. “You know how terrible I am with words when I’m nervous. That’s why I’m so bad at espionage. You are the most solid, nothing to solidify. Calm and collected. We avenge together, we mess up together. You know I love you, right? Natasha Romanoff, will you accept my proposal?” Wanda hissing and whisper directly to you from her place “Pssstt… Will you marry me. Will. You. Marry. Me.” Your eyes still lock on Natasha astonishing green eyes. “Sorry. Umm... Will you marry me?”

              “We drive each other mad, but what is love with no pain and suffer.” The whole room is so quiet that they can only listen to their own heart beats. “To you, I’ve never lied. For you, I’d take a life. I swear.” Natasha said eyes still on each other. “Your answer is…….?” Y/n gulp and Natasha smile. “Yes. I’ll marry you, my favorite Avengers.”

              Y/n get up from the floor and hug Natasha a little too strong because why not? She’s over the moon right now. Before Natasha kiss her new fiancé, Y/n turn around and runs to her friends. “SHE SAID YES GUYS! She said the big YES!!”

Pepper stops Y/n. “Y/n, have you kiss her yet?”

“I did hug her.”

They all yell “KISS HER!!” You run towards Natasha and kiss her. “I’m sorry I forget to kiss you. I’m so excited! Can I kiss you now?” Natasha giggles “You’ve never ask my permission before.” Y/n kiss Natasha in front of her family and they awkwardly watch especially Yelena.

“Are you sure she’s an Avenger? Not from any circus camp?” Yelena looking at her sister.

“No.” Natasha let out a small laugh. “No? Are you sure? Yes? No? ” “No…” “Okay if you’re sure, because I want you to be happy.” The sisters hug each other for a while meanwhile Y/n and Wanda hold each other hand jumping up and down like children get what they wish for as Christmas present.  “she said Yes Wanda. I’m getting marry.” “Yes you’re getting marry.”  

“Natasha.” Melina caught her attention. “I’m proud of you. We, all proud of you. You’ve grown to be an incredible woman Natasha.”

“Looooonggg way from Ohio.” Yelena smiles. “I’ll never forget Ohio.” Natasha told he sister.

“She’s a good person, Natasha.” Alexi caught her attention. Seriousness shown on his face, he continues. “She did asked us for our blessing.” “She did what?” Now its her turn to be serious.

“She asked for our blessing. To marry you.”

“Y/n asked for your blessing?”

“Yes. I know! I can’t believe it too until I saw it with my own eyes.”

“Hah! You’re marrying a vintage.” Yelena laugh at her sister. “Mom, almost take her down with sniper.”

Natasha look sternly at Melina “Almost! Okay! Almost. I didn’t because she came unarms. Not even a swish blade.” Melina clearing the situation.

“She came to you guys? When?” Natasha asked her family.

“Yeah. Alone. Last month. Why?” Alexi asks her daughter.

“I thought Fury brought you guys here. I never told her where do you live. Only Fury knows, based on my file details.”

“She did break into Maria Hill’s personal computer just to find your original file. No one ever know that you and Barton had an original file. Somehow, she did. She’s a catch Romanoff.” Fury came behind her.

“Thank you.” Natasha at him.

“I have to go. It broke my heart to see the Avengers jumping like that.” He looks at the Avengers. “Lighten up, Fury. Let her have a moment.” Natasha said. “You better tell your fiancé not to break any S.H.I.E.L.D files or computers ever again. I’m watching.” He nods at her family and walks away. The family joins The Avengers drinking and chatting. Natasha greeted by Y/n and put her arm around Y/n neck.

“Hey you.” Y/n smiles.

“Hey fiancé.” Natasha smirking seductively at Y/n.

“Fiancé. Huh, I’d like that.”

“Wait until I call you my wife.”

“I’ll love that.”

Tony snap their picture and post it on instagram and twiter. The news travel so fast and the whole world are happy for them. Who doesn’t get excited. Two of earth mightiest heroes are engaged to each other. Their phones are blown off with calls, notification, texts, emails from fans, reporters, sponsors, government, agencies this, that. All of those are for congratulate the couple.  

[yamigooops]

~lingerie hcs~

this is just me doing crackhead stuff because I can, y'know?

warnings: a smattering of nsfw, but heavy on nsfw themes

includes: akaashi keiji, osamu miya, kuroo tetsurou, tendou satori, ushijima wakatoshi, oikawa torū, kenma kozume, suna rintarō, bokuto kōtarō, and daichi sawamura

Akaashi

This mans likes things plain and simple, a direct message, so you decide to give it to him straight: you want him home now

He sees a new image message from you and expects some picture of a dish you cooked or a quick shot of you snuggling with the cat on the couch

He never in a million years would have guessed it would be a picture of you nearly naked

He rushes to hide his phone screen from his co-workers, not only because of the graphic content, but because no one else was worthy of seeing your immaculate body

He takes another peek at the image, taking in the lighting and soft curves and every little detail, feeling his pants tighten as he grows hard under the desk

Thankfully you sent it just a bit before he got off, because he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to wait to get home

The door to the apartment shuts and you grin, moving from the bathroom to perch yourself on the bed. You can hear the dull thumps of his shoes falling to the ground before the sound of his socked feet moving toward where you sat. The bedroom door opened and Akaashi paused, drinking in the sight of you on top of the duvet, chest bare with just a black thong on. His mouth watered at the sight as he tugged on his tie while moving slowly toward you.

“No, no,” you murmured. “Let me take care of that.” You motioned for his tie as he came to a stop before you. You shifted so your legs framed his hips, tugging him closer so your chest pressed against his stomach. You made quick work of his tie and shirt before he lost his patience and stripped off his pants. Guiding you gently onto your back he kissed down your chest between the mounds of your breasts, his hand coming up to knead the soft flesh of one of them. His other hand made its way up from your ankle to rest on your hip just as his lips reached the border of your panties.

“That picture really didn’t leave much to the imagination, darling,” he growled, lips brushing your skin as he slipped his fingers under the edge of the fabric. You sighed as his hot breath found your core, feeling that oh so familiar twinge in your stomach. “Now let’s see what these were hiding.”

Osamu

Listen I have this headcanon that this mans is such a kinky bitch

Like BDSM is totally something I think he would be into

So imagine his s/o wearing this (BUT NO BRA AND UNDIES) while they go at it

You can’t tell me that’s not hot (I mean I guess you could but I’m drooling over the idea)

“Everything feel alright bunny?” he prompted as he pulled the last strap closed. He yanked it just a bit too tight, the leather biting into the flesh of your thigh, but you didn’t complain. It kind of made you even wetter.

“Everything feels perfect, ‘Samu,” you replied in a hushed tone. He ran the tips of his fingers over the straps on your thighs, up your hips and ribs to rest on your breasts, pinching your nipples gently as his grin grew across his face.

“You’re always so good for me bunny,” he cooed, pressing his lips to your forehead. His hands came up to your throat, securing the thick band of leather around the column of your neck as you squirmed against him ever so slightly. “But don’t forget your place, got it? It’s master, and I don’t want you slipping up again.” He gave the back of the collar a tug so the leather tightened against your windpipe and you squeaked out a “Yes master,” knowing this was going to be a long, sleepless night.

Kuroo

I just feel like this man would appreciate something edgy like this

Like shit he’d be salivating over this

The way it shows off your hips AND tits?!

He’d be putty in your hands, try to tell me otherwise

“Baby come on, I just wanna see you,” he called as you finished getting everything in place. His breath hitched as you stepped out of the closet, the heels on your feet clacking against the hardwood floor. His eyes widened as you stopped at the foot of the bed, his throat bobbing as he gulped.

“What’s wrong baby, cat got your tongue?” you purred, climbing onto the bed. You came to straddle his hips, pushing his chest back down to the bed as he tried to rise onto his elbows. “I’m gonna take care of you tonight,” you leaned down to whisper into his ear. You felt his skin prickle beneath your touch as you caught his earlobe in your mouth, nipping at it playfully.

“I must have either been very bad, or very good, and I can’t tell which one would be better,” he chuckled apprehensively as you raised back up on your knees. You ran your hands over his chest, enjoying the feel of the muscles beneath your fingers. “Either way, you better take good care of me tonight,” he smirked, fingers wrapping around the center strap on your chest to pull you down, so you were nose-to-nose with him. “Otherwise I’m gonna be real sad.”

Tendou

You’re just his pillow princess oh my god

This man would do anything for you, and you’d do anything for him

He got you this set as a gift and you’re finally putting it on

It literally takes his breath away

Like he stops in his tracks before he goes absolutely feral

“Do I look pretty?” you ask, socked feet coming to a stop on the cool hardwood by the door as your boyfriend places down his things. All he can do is stare, mouth agape in wonder at the sight of you. You shift from foot to foot, unnecessarily nervous about what he was thinking as he stared at you.

“Pretty girl, you look-” he trailed off, looking for the right words to describe your appearance. “You look like an angel,” he decides, sliding his shoes off before joining you on the hardwood. His long fingers find a home on your frill-clad hips as he pulls you against his chest gently, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “How did you know I was missing you today?”

“I just had a feeling you’d like this,” you giggled, closing your eyes and leaning your forehead against his collarbone.

“Well I really do,” he chuckled, before sweeping you off your feet and carrying you to the bedroom to show you exactly how much he enjoyed it.

Ushijima

Ok this man likes it classy and you can’t tell me otherwise

Like he doesn’t need you to show every scrap of skin to be turned on

If something fits you beautifully or you show off in something, he’ll get flustered

So when he sees you walk out in this his mouth opens a bit in shock

You just look so…gorgeous

“D-Darling…” he murmured, jersey in hand and mouth agape. He had just gotten home from a game, and you beat him back to the house as he had to meet with the team afterward. You’d gotten this piece to celebrate his next big win, and that just happened to be today.

“Congratulations on the win today honey,” you smiled, coming to place a hand on his chest. He looked down at you with quiet love in his eyes. “I thought I’d surprise you.” There was a seductive tone to your voice that made blood rush to his groin as the hand you had placed on his chest slowly made its way down over his abdomen.

“While this is unnecessary,” he began, lips quirking up at the corners. He placed a hand on your hip, gently fisting his fingers in the slick fabric of your skirt. “I won’t say I’m upset with you, not in the slightest.” Leaning down, he placed his lips against the skin beneath your ear. “But color me surprised,” he growls, the bass of his voice rumbling against your skin just before he sweeps you up to show you just how much he appreciates you.

Oikawa

We all know this mans is EXTRA

So only the best will do for him

You walk out in this and he’s instantly drooling

Like you’re his diamond, but seeing you decked out in bling like this just goes right to his dick

“Baby you-“ he gulps, feeling his pants tighten. You’d just gotten back from a nice dinner and you let your dress fall to the floor to reveal this. “You had that on all night?”

“It’s comfier than you’d expect,” you smirked, stepping out of the pool of fabric. You came to run a hand down his chest, undoing buttons as you went. His hands came to rest on your hips to fiddle with the chains there, and you couldn’t help the swell in your chest at the fact that you’d made him go silent.

“I don’t know why I didn’t think to get you something like this sooner,” he purred into your ear, sending a shiver up your spine. He let one hand stray up over your breast to play with the chains there, fingers brushing your skin and raising goosebumps. “You always look like a million bucks, but now you’re sparkly. What am I gonna do with you darling?”

Kenma

You come into the gaming room just as he is finishing up a stream and sit down on the giant Totoro plush he got you last year.

You’re out of sight of the camera, which is a wonderful thing because you’re not decent at all

He greets you with a hello and a sideways glance, returning his eyes to the monitor for just a moment before doing a quick double take

You grin as he tells the stream he has to wrap it up because you’re calling him for dinner

You never even say a word >:)

He turns off the stream and yanks off his headphones, not bothering to turn off the ring light at his desk or log out of anything he has open

“Kitten, what’s this,” he purrs, sitting on the edge of his seat as you settle in. You just smile over at him, twirling the chain connected to your choker around your finger.

“I need help with something,” you tease, bringing one knee up so he could see just a peek of your panties beneath your skirt. You watched as he swallowed thickly, wiping his palms on his joggers and letting his eyes roam over your delicious form. He stood slowly, lips turning up in a sly grin as you nestled further into the plush.

“Anything you need, princess, you know that,” he cooed, stopping before you and holding out his hand for the leash. You hand it to him gently, drawing in a breath as he yanks on it playfully.

Suna

I just feel like this absolutely fits his vibe

Dark and seductive but also frilly like?? Come on

And he would think you look so cute sitting there like a pretty little doll

All ready to be fucked senseless

“Oh baby doll, look at you,” he cooed, slowly approaching you on the bed. “You got all dressed up just for me?”

“Course, Rin,” you giggled, pressing your thighs together as he came to a stop at the foot of the bed. He pulled out his phone, turning on the flash as he took photos of you all dolled up for him. “Pose for me baby,” he crooned, moving to get better angles of you. “You look too pretty to not have pictures taken of you.” You moved, posing for him on the bed as the flash went off every few seconds. He chuckled as you worked the camera before he tossed it to the corner of the bed, tugging off his shirt and crawling onto the bed.

“Did you get some good pictures?” You smirked, twining your fingers into his hair as he came to straddle your waist.

“Oh of course, you’re the prettiest model I could ask for,” he hummed, placing his lips gently against your forehead. “’Specially in this, you look stunning right now babe. Can’t wait to see it on the ground though.”

Bokuto

You decided to go shopping for new lingerie, and couldn’t decide between two different sets

Since you wanted this to be a surprise for Bo, you decided to send pics of both to your best friend

HOWEVER

You accidentally sent them to Bokuto

Meanwhile, this mans is at the gym, pumping iron with the rest of the MSBY team, and he’s just bopping out to his work out playlist when he gets a text notification from his sweetiepie

He opens it in earnest, eager to see what you had to say, and almost has a nosebleed

He texts you back saying which one he likes better, and you realize your mistake, but get the one he picked out

Homeboy has a tent in his gym shorts for the rest of the workout, and by the time he comes home you’re already back and waiting for him

“Are you home baby?” he calls as he walks in the door, just needing to know how long he’d have to wait before being able to take care of the problem in his shorts.

“I’m getting changed,” you call from the closet, sliding the final straps into place. There was the sound of hurried footsteps outside, then the door opened, and your boyfriend stepped into the room. He caught sight of you in the closet and stared for a moment, eyes drinking in every curve and line of your body. He moved to stand behind you, one hand grasping your hip and the other brushing your hair back to as he leaned down to press his lips to the junction of your neck and collarbone.

“Mmmmm you look so sexy in this, babe,” he groaned against your neck. He tugged your hips back as he ground his length against your ass. His free hand trailed up your tummy to gently knead your breast. His calloused fingers were soft on your skin, but you could feel the need behind the action as you let out a soft moan.

“They were supposed to be a s-surprise,” you huffed, leaning your head back against his shoulder as his lips moved up the column of your throat.

A shiver shot up your spine as those lips came to a rest next to your ear and whispered, “Well I’m glad you didn’t make me wait.”

Daichi

SOFT! DOM! DADDY! DAICHI!

This man would make you feel so pretty and would buy you all the pretty frilly things you could ever want and just omg

He totally bought this for you and thought you would look so pretty in it

So you decided that after a long day on patrol, he deserved to come home to something soft and sweet

His hat dropped from his hand as he opened the door, finding you perched lightly on the bed looking like an angel and ready for him. “Hi daddy,” you smiled gently, fidgeting with the frills on the garters atop your thighs. “How was your day at work?”

He looked like he could fall apart, like all the stress suddenly left his body and left him bare and weak. So, you stood and made your way over to him, wrapping your arms around his muscular chest and burying your face in his uniform. He slowly wrapped an arm around your waist, while the other came up to cradle your head. “Baby girl, you must be psychic because this is exactly what I needed,” he murmured into your hair.

Looking up at him with worry in your eyes, you pouted slightly. “Did you have a bad day at work?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. He usually tried to keep work out of the bedroom, so if he was willing to admit that, you knew it must have been really bad. “It was pretty stressful, I won’t lie.”

Placing one hand against his cheek you smiled softly up at him. “Then let me make you feel better, okay daddy?”

~~~~~

@exquisuna @banana-grammar @kalesugar @bokutowifelol

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART FOUR

Pt1, Pt2, Pt3

Warnings: fighting with parents and some swearing

---

The bright sunlight hit your eyes and you squinted a little as your feet hit the driveway.

Julie’s song was still playing through your head, and so was your conversation with her last night. The passion in her voice when she sang was the same as when she talked about her mom.

You wanted to run in and comfort her somehow, but Luke seemed insistent on staying outside, making Alex grumble next to you.

“Dude, why did you stop me? Julie needs a hug.”

“A ghost hug is not the feel-good moment you think it is. Trust me.” Luke said. What Julie needs is some privacy.”

“I think you poofed us out because you can’t handle when other people cry.” Alex waved his finger in Luke’s face, making you frown at his words.

It wasn’t a secret that Luke wasn’t the best with feelings, but he had always been there for you. Last night in the darkroom, and again at the diner, and countless other times.

“I should know,” Alex continued, gesturing between Luke and Reggie. “I cried in a room for 25 years, and I didn’t get a single hug from either of you.”

Reggie sighed, opening his arms. “Bring it in.”

“Don’t touch me!”

“This is why no one but (Y/n) hugs you.” Reggie mumbled as you rubbed Alex’s arm.

“Okay.” Luke interrupted. “So, once we get the courage to go in there, we should ask Julie why she lied about playing the piano.”

Alex shrugged. “And maybe tell her how amazing she is?”

You nodded and Reggie exclaimed. “She’s legit! I got ghost-bumps.”

Just then, the gate leading to the house swung open and a girl made her way down the pavement. As she got closer, you could hear her sobbing quietly.

“Oh no, was she crying too?” You asked as the girl entered the garage.

“Yes!” Luke shivered. “We definitely can’t go in there.”

“No, but we can listen.” Reggie ran towards the door, standing on his tip-toes to peek through the window.

“Guys! We can’t eavesdrop, that’s creepy!” You whispered, but the boys ignored you and crowded the door.

Seconds later, they all ducked to avoid being seen and you couldn’t help but be curious. So you ran over and squeezed yourself between Luke and Alex.

“I’m not okay!” The other girl shouted. “You got kicked out of music! I’ve been up all night thinking about what I was gonna say, and I might’ve had seven sodas but I need to get this out.”

“Flynn-” Julie started but Flynn shook her head and started ranting.

“Jules, if you leave the music program, we’ll be apart forever. Sure, we’ll see each other in the hallway sometimes but we’ll make new friends.”

“That’s not true.” Julie said.

“You’re right, I won’t make any new friends. The only time we’ll contact each other is by liking each other’s posts on Instagram. Every time I hit that little heart, mine will be breaking because my best friend left me.”

“What’s Instagram?“ Alex whispered to you. You shrugged, making a mental note to ask Julie later.

Julie sighed. “I just played piano and sang again.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was trying but then your seven sodas kicked in.” Julie laughed.

Flynn squealed. “I’m so happy for you! Look at you, looking all alive again. What made you play again?”

Julie slid her mom’s song across the piano to show Flynn and you couldn’t help but smile. You obviously hadn’t known Julie for long, but you were so happy that she reconnected with her mom and music.

“I was so scared to play it, cause everything having to do with music reminds me of her. But I woke up this morning, realizing that’s exactly why I should play it. To keep her memory alive.”

“We need to tell Mrs. Harrison that you can play so you can stay in the music program. My girl’s back! Double Trouble lives again.”

“Not our band name.” Julie laughed as the girls started walking out of the garage.

“Shit, she’s coming!” You whispered. “Act natural.”

You and Reggie sank to the floor, Luke leaned on his arm and Alex pretended to inspect the light hanging above you. Julie made eye contact with you and smiled.

“Oh, hey!”

Flynn turned around and watched Julie expectantly. Julie laughed awkwardly and started skipping down the driveway.

“Let’s hustle!” She grabbed Flynn’s arm and started walking up the stairs, waving goodbye.

“We weren’t listening!” Reggie said, earning a pinch on the arm from you and a kick to the ankle from Luke. Julie started swatting the air, trying to play it off like there was a bug, and pushed Flynn up the stairs.

As soon as she was gone, you made your way back into the garage. You sat at the piano bench, mindlessly playing the few chords you knew.

“I wonder why Julie didn’t tell us she could shred on the piano.” Reggie said.

“It probably has something to do with her mom.” You guessed, your fingers gliding across the keys.

“Yeah, that must’ve been hard.” Alex added before climbing up to the loft. “I really feel for her.”

“Yeah, but now she’s got music back in her life. Just like us.” Luke said, reaching over and hitting the note next to your finger.

“Yeah, I’m not sure you can call what we have a life.” Alex said and you snorted. “Hey, I think some of our old clothes are up here.”

He threw down a black trash bag filled with clothes and you sighed in relief. The night you died, you wore a plain pair of jeans, and your favorite old t-shirt of your dad’s. You usually wore one when you played a gig, so that a part of him could be with you in some way and of course; Luke’s jacket.

And as much as you loved your outfit, being in the same clothes for 25 years was not exactly sanitary, even by ghost standards.

“Sweet!” Luke exclaimed, taking off his shirt.

Shit!

You tried as subtly as possible to look away before anyone saw the blush on your cheeks, and you thought you had gotten away with it until Reggie laughed from across the room.

You sent him a glare, but that only made him laugh harder.

Suddenly, the studio doors opened again and Julie’s dad came in. He had a sad look on his face and a camera in his hands. It had ‘Ray Molina’ engraved on the handle so you figured that was his name.

The man walked right through Reggie, making him shudder. “That was weird. But somehow I can tell this man has a kind heart.”

“So, how have you been?” Ray asked, his voice heavy.

“Honestly, not that good.” Reggie said and you rolled your eyes. “See, we ate these hotdogs and-”

“Julie sang for the first time again this morning.” Ray took a picture of the room. “She hasn’t done that in almost a year. You would’ve loved it.”

“Yeah, we heard cause we-.” Reggie wiggled his fingers in front of Ray’s face. “Oh, I get it. He's not talking to us."

"Dude, you are so lucky you play bass." Luke said.

"I think he's talking to Julie's mom." Alex sighed.

Ray started walking towards the piano. "She's such an amazing young woman."

He started running his hands on the keys so you slid off the bench. You knew you definitely shouldn't be listening, this was definitely not something you weren't meant to hear but you couldn't help your curiosity. "Everyday she reminds me more and more of you."

"Called it!" Alex cheered.

Ray shifted the camera between his hands. "I'm taking pictures for the real estate website. I don't really wanna move, but...it's what's best for Julie."

Alex came down from the loft and you all crowded around the piano. Luke stared at Ray with wide eyes. "Move?"

Ray gently played a few notes of a ballad before he spoke again. "There's so many memories out here. Like, Julie sitting next to you and Carlos trying to sing with his missing front teeth."

Luke let out a shaky breath and you realized he was crying. It wasn’t until a tear rolled down your cheek that you realized that you were too. You frantically wiped your eyes, doing your best not to break down.

Ray was exactly what you always pictured your dad used to be like, and his love for Julie was exactly the same kind you knew he would've had for you. Thinking about your dad made you think about your mom, and that made trying to stop crying a whole lot harder.

"Come on guys, not you too." Reggie said.

"It's just...he's talking about moving but the poor guy doesn't wanna move." Luke sniffled.

Ray stood up and took a picture of right where you were all standing. "It's like they grew up out here."

Reggie fanned his face. "Now he's got me too."

Alex scoffed. "Okay, how am I the emotional one?"

"Can we go see my family? See how they're doing?" Reggie asked, his voice shaking a little.

You nodded. “Yeah, listening to this doesn’t feel right.”

Just as you go to leave, Ray laughs. "Remember when the kids were at your sisters and we came out here on our anniversary..."

"Yeah, no! " Luke cringed. "Definitely wrong.”

-

The beach was where you spent a lot of your free time when you were alive.

Usually after a long day when you just needed a place to work on new lyrics in peace. But sometimes after playing all day at the pier, the boys would drag you down to the water and you would all stay there as long as possible. Away from parents and responsibilities.

But just like everything else, it had changed so much.

"A bike shack," Reggie sighed. "Right where my house used to be."

"I'm sorry, Reg." You rested your head on Reggie’s shoulder.

"Why couldn't they at least have turned it into something cool like a pizzeria or something?"

"They tore down the whole neighborhood." Alex said.

"I guess my folks are gone."

Alex kicked his foot into the sand. "Everyone's gone. Twenty-five years, gone. Friends, family, Bobby, everyone."

That was another person you hadn't wanted to let yourself think about. Even though you and Bobby weren't super close, he was still a part of Sunset Curve. He could be a little bit of an asshole sometimes but he was still your friend.

"Bobby, that's right." Reggie said. "Guess that vegetarian lucked out. Wonder what happened to him?"

"He probably just got old like everyone else and moved on." Luke grumbled.

"Dude, how are you so chill about all of this?”

“Yeah, don’t you want to figure out what happened?” You asked.

“Let’s be real for a second.” Luke exhaled, clearly getting worked up. “It’s not like any of us were close to our families. My parents always regretted buying me that guitar. Reggie, your parents were literally a fight away from divorce.” 

Luke ran a hand through his hair as he ranted, talking with his hands the way he always did when he was upset. “Alex, I- Your parents were never cool again after you told them you were gay.”

His eyes landed on you and he seemed to ease up a little. “(Y/n), you practically raised yourself since your mom was gone all the time.”

“Yeah, okay.” You said. “None of us had it great.”

“But at least we had something! What do we have now?” Alex shouted. “And before you say cool teleportation, I’m not cool with that either. It tingles. In weird places.”

Luke sprang to his feet. “I’ll tell you what he had. It’s what we’ve had since the day we came together. Guys, we have us. We’re the only family we’re ever gonna need. You wanna know what else we got?”

“I’m gonna guess death breath?” Reggie said.

“Our music, you dork.” Luke laughed. “People can hear us play again! They can’t see us, whatever, but they can feel us. I wish I had my guitar.”

Suddenly, the air around you made a sharp ‘whoosh’ sound and Luke’s six-string appeared in his hands.

“Whoa.” You said.

“How did you do that?” Reggie asked.

“I-I don’t know. I mean I wished for it and then...” Luke played a few chords and beamed.

Reggie jumped in place with his arms open, trying to wish for random things before he eventually gave up and slumped into the sand.

“I think I know what will cheer you up.” Luke said. He played the opening of ‘This Band Is Back’ and you couldn’t help but smile. Out of all the Sunset Curve songs, this was one of your favorites.

“Come on, Reginald.” Alex said as he started hitting his legs and chest to make a beat.

You offered Reggie your hand and pulled him up as Luke started the countdown. Reggie took it and twirled you around, effectively getting sand in your shoes. You laughed and spun him around before dragging him up to the tables in front of the restaurants as he sang.

The people around you seemed confused by the sudden music, but they danced around anyway. You forgot how much you loved seeing people react to your music. Watching them dance and smile made all your worries float away, even if it was just for now.

And for the first time since the Orpheum,

It really did feel like the band was back.

August 1994

It was just after sunset when you called the Patterson house.

The sound of your mom slamming the front door was still fresh in your mind and before you could stop yourself, your fingers were flying across the buttons. Luke was the only person who knew about your relationship with your mom. 

You didn’t want to worry Cece, or Alex, or anyone else. But hiding things from Luke wasn’t easy, especially with how stubborn he was. So you told him everything, and he told you,

‘Call me next time, okay?’

The line only rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello?” 

It was Emily, Luke’s mom.

You took a deep breath, trying to keep from crying. “Hi, Mrs. Patterson.”

Emily laughed and you could practically hear her roll her eyes fondly. “(Y/n), sweetie, what did I tell you about calling me that?”

Even though you and Luke had been friends most of your lives, you had only met Emily a handful of times. Luke didn’t really like hanging out at his house, especially when he started fighting with them regularly. Still, Emily always treated you like her own kid whenever you were around.

“Sorry, Emily.” You said. “Is Luke around?”

You heard some shuffling as she called out for him and after a few minutes, Luke picked up the phone. “Hey.”

“Hi, are you busy?” 

“No, why?” He asked.

“Well, I made enough cookies to feed a small country and my mom’s gonna be gone for the night so I thought we could hang out.” You rambled. “Maybe finish ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark?”

Luke laughed excitedly. “Yeah, sure! Give me like 20 minutes.”

Luke’s laugh was so infectious that you had to fight through a giggle. “Okay, see you soon.”

As you went to hang up, you hear Emily’s voice again. She was teasing Luke about something but all you caught was the word ‘Girlfriend’, making you turn bright red.

You put the phone back on the hook just as the oven beeped to signal that it was ready to bake the cookies. You put them in the oven and turned your attention to the huge bowl of cake batter in front of you. At this point, there wasn’t anything left in the kitchen you hadn’t baked.

There was no way you would be able to eat all of it, even with Luke’s help. But you needed something to distract yourself to keep your mind from overloading.

True to his word, Luke arrived twenty minutes later, bursting through your front door and screaming the Indiana Jones theme song at the top of his lungs. He skipped his way into the kitchen, immediately sensing something was wrong when you didn’t join him or even acknowledge his presence. 

“(Y/n)?” Luke approached you slowly.

“Hey.” You tried to sound as casual as possible, not looking up from the bowl. “So, you ready to finally finish this movie?”

Luke didn’t say anything as he scanned the kitchen. There were piles of cookies and cooking utensils all over the counter, and you had flour in your hair. You could see the realization flash across his face through your eyelashes.

“Okay, you’re baking everything in the house, which can only mean one of two things,” Luke said, his voice becoming more serious as he jumped up on the counter. “You either watched Sixteen Candles unsupervised again or…”

You stayed quiet as you slowly stirred the batter. It was ready to put in the pan ten minutes ago but you needed something to do to distract yourself.

Luke’s hand gently gripped yours before taking the spoon from you and letting it fall into the bowl. You looked up at him to find him already staring at you with a furrowed brow.

Damn it.

You should’ve known he would see through your thinly veiled excuses and promise of cookies. Luke was more observant than people gave him credit for.

“C’mere,” Luke said, opening his arms. You moved between his legs and buried your head in his chest, covering his shirt in tears, flour, and batter. But he didn’t seem to mind as he rubbed circles into your arm with one hand while the other cradled your head.

“She hates me.” You said through a deep, shuddering breath.

“She doesn’t hate you,” Luke reasoned. “It’s impossible for anyone to hate you.”

One of the things you loved about Luke was his protective streak when it came to his friends, and the way that no matter what, he could only see the best in them.

And as his best friend, you were pretty much perfect in his eyes. Which meant that when you didn't immediately agree, Luke launched into a rant.

"First of all, you're like the smartest person in the world. You manage to get good grades while also working at the diner three days a week which is nuts.

Secondly, your voice is insane! And your lyrics, (Y/n), we wouldn't even have half the Sunset Curve songs without your killer songwriting skills!"

"You done, Lu?" You joked as you pulled away just enough to look up at him, trying not to blush. No matter how hard you tried to play it cool when he complimented you, it always made you melt inside.

"I'm just saying," Luke laughed softly. “You are literally the best person I know, Squeaks.”

You let out a watery laugh at the mention of your childhood nickname. It was one that Luke had given to you in 4th grade after he put a bug on your arm and you had squeaked in fear.

“And just think,” Luke whispered, his voice sounding a little wistful. “One day, we’ll get signed to a label and end up somewhere far away from here.”

“We barely started making our demo.” You said, making Luke scrunch his nose in the way that always made you giggle. "Don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself?"

“Nope.” He smirked. “Okay, I gotta ask, were you planning on baking this or is this a new look you’re going for? ‘Cause I gotta be honest, it’s not your best.” Luke said teasingly as he swiped some batter from your cheek.

“Oh, really?” You asked, dipping your finger in the bowl and smearing the batter across Luke’s face, making him gasp. Then you took a slight step back and hummed thoughtfully. “Definitely looks better on me.”

“You know what?” Luke scoffed, trying to hold back a smile and before you could blink, he reached into the bowl and flung the spoon at you, splattering your shirt. “I think you’re right.”

“Jerk!” You laughed, wiping off your shirt as Luke tried to lick the batter off his chin but he only managed to make an ever bigger mess.

“Did I get it?” He asked, making you giggle.

“Not quite.” You reached forward and carefully wiped it off, desperately trying to focus on anything other than how close your faces were. But it was impossible when you could feel Luke’s breath on the tip of your nose. “There.”

Luke’s face was unreadable as he looked down at you. The playfulness had evaporated in the air and was replaced with something else that you couldn’t really read either. Just when you thought the moment would last forever, the timer for the second batch of cookies rang through the kitchen, and you practically bolted to the oven.

You pulled them out and put them on a plate. “So, you know that we have to watch Sixteen Candles now, right?”

Luke groaned, pretending to be annoyed. Even though he would never admit it, you knew he secretly loved romance movies. “Fine, but Raiders of the Lost Ark after?”

“Deal.”

As Luke went into the living room to start the movie, you sighed to yourself. Maybe you would never have a normal relationship with your mom.

But you had your band, your friends, and even if it wasn’t exactly in the way you wanted; 

You had Luke.

-

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull @wanniiieeee @tenaciousperfectionunknown @nxacomposts @merceret @itismeasmolpotato @lilostif16

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13

Let me know if you wanted to be added!

[kyotakumrau]

A thread with the 1st slot report from azifxxx, Zepp Tokyo with Kyo and Shinya

F: Hello everyone at Zepp Tokyo! I'm DIR's manager Fujieda.

T: I'm manager Takabayashi.

F: today in Tokyo it's the last day (...) now I'd like to invite two band members to start the talk event! Give them applause!

Shinya arrives, then Kyo.

Kyo wore a black beret and big glasses, blackish grey jacket, some yellow badge on the left side? and grey denim. Shinya (Yamo-chan) wore all black, double jacket? it looked very soft. When entering the stage Kyo did 'Fujifuji pose' to F...

F: today Kyo and Shinya came to the event! How are you doing, the two of you?

S: I'm always fine. 24h a day. Just got bit foolish in Sendai due to snow...

K: yeah... I'm also good...

F: for both of you it's your second time, going straight to the point what's the most impactful/memorable thing in 2020 for you?

S: not COVID?

F: from the band's point of view it is.

S: it didn't feel like being in a band. There were no concerts at all.

F: for you, Kyo? (pretending to eat)

K: PS5.

S: I see.

K: I couldn't get it. That's all I can think about.

S: I want it too, but not that much... can you play Dead by Daylight on PS5? having ps4 edition?

K: you can.

S: then I want it. I also applied for it, but as I wasn't contacted I don't think I won.

F: there's nothing besides PS5?

K: the fan who said in the message they're getting it next day, they are probably playing right now..  I get angry again when I think about it. And not just a bit....(F: what would you do if after you got PS5?) Eh? I have to say it each time？💢 (makes dissatisfied sound and turns away, for a while stays silent) 

F passes them the merch items.

S&K: ... (silently checking the items)

When prompted to say something

S: mini water bottle.. is for when you go out for a bit...

K: is that a pig?

S: it's a bear

But it has 3 fingers? The hoofs? 

S: a bear isn't like that? 

K: but only 3 fingers?! 

K: you draw 3 or 4 fingers for a bear! A horse gets 2! is the claw here (between the fingers?)? the claws come out here (pointing back of the hand)? 

S: there are no fingers there (in the back of the hand) 

K: and it is listening standing in front of the speaker? Its ears will get bad! Listening to such loud sound in front of the speaker! you will go nuts! 

F: so Kyo, you were praising the choker a lot in Osaka. 

K: ... (looks at the choker) ...(starts to tie the choker)...(puts the choker in front of F) 

F: it can be tied up? Is that a good point? Ah, you mean that it can be displayed like this? It's a very popular item so everyone please get one! 

Today there are only two tables, on the right (kamite) sits Shinya with Takabayashi, on the left (shimote) Fujieda with Kyo 

F: any no-no topics for the questions? (S says nothing) I hope it’ going to be interesting... what kind of outfit are you wearing today? 

S: I’m wearing black... the hood is...(hesitates) like Penyu 

K: (smiling😊) 

S: I realized today that it’s like Penyu. Not because Kyo came today as well. 

K: suddenly getting closer, feels bad 

F: Kyo... today you’re also wearing a total outfit idea? 

K: you think there’s a theme? 

F: a bit... like in an older coffee shop.... cafe... like sitting in a coffee shop... 

K: it’s monochrome checkers! 

F who got told it's checkers went 'i see~'

K: what, so today's theme is let's have a smoke or let's go to a cafe?

The usual atmosphere... like Kyo who always corners F until he's lost what to say

Ta chooses a question: 'what's the memorable small (v-kei) venue for the band members?'

S: Area or Cyber recently got closed, right? I really don't remember... didn't we only play at Rock-may-kan? I think no small venues [we played at] are left in Kansai? only Cowboy or Muse Hall.

K: I guess only Rock-may-kan.

Ta: how about for Shibere Bajiru?

K: with going straight to Shibire (like paying too much attention?), is that a shoulder pad. No? I wanted to see~

F: Cyber, Area is a very sad news... K, you don't have any [venues]?

K: not really...

Ta: 'what's the book you've recently read or a movie you've seen?'

S: ehm... nothing much... I also don't really read manga. But I've seen Demon Slayer. I got into it after watching anime.

K: heh, about Demon Slayer, I ordered the comics to be delivered, but only volumes 4~8 came. Am I supposed to start from vol 4? Wouldn't it be horrible? don't wanna start there

K: there's this thing I have, only get into it after it stops being so popular. I also didn't watch yesterday.

F: what kind of books do you read?

K: I read various things ... but I'm really excited about the new story from the Innocent.

Ta: 'what's your kanji of the year?'

S: 心・kokoro from 心夜・Shinya

Ta: isn't that the same every year?

K: for me... nothing really.

Ta: what was it this year (officially)?

S: 密・mitsu・crowd/carefulness, right?

K: (still trying to think) ...nothing really.

F: 'if you were to play on a different position in a band?'

S: by elimination only the guitar is left.

K: not the vocals? You're going for the guitar??

S: I'm not going for the vocals...

K: but you sing in karaoke?

S: I can't sing...

K: there's emotional singing! You're often angry!

S: I haven't gotten angry in 10+ years

K: but you sing the chorus!

S: but there's only short phrase with the chorus...

K: but you're doing lotsa of choruses

S: well... I'm practicing...but vocals are the most impossible for me...

'If you done something else than vocals?'

K: Takumi's position is good, watching the band members from the side, if it's something else than vocals then from the side is good.

S: but you like bass? That's the only idea I have for you.

K: that's only when song writing though!?

S: but you've been playing everywhere, right?

K: where everywhere? I haven't!

S: you have that time... (=sukekiyo)

Ta: aren't we going fast today? 'is there any country you'd like to visit?'

S: if possible I don't want to go...

K: but you're always going somewhere alone. To play board games etc

S: it only happened because I was already going.

Ta: Kyo doesn't want to go like "I'm!Not!Going!"

K: I'm playing a bit online games (Fortnite), but I'm told I suck at it. When you suck at something it's usually better to quit, I'm told so, many times, why is this guy going that way or is he going to the enemy's site on purpose? I'm told things like that from 6:30 in the morning sometimes.

K: if I (my heart) get broken by that how should I continue living?

S: I'm being told 'how are you living?'. I'm using the pig character but it feels like I'm living like a pig. I can block out the talk, but I'd rather hear those terrible opinions.

K: but it's hard

S: it is really hard.

K: when I played with Fujieda it was going well! He told me, get down or make your nose bigger

S: it also went well when we played, don't go there, let's go there and so on.

K: but the fights take about 20 mins in DbD, right? I'm dead in Fortnite in about 10 seconds

Ta: 'what do you like about F?'

S: he's always full of energy and almost never gets sad

K: his nose? Doesn't it get bigger as you look at it?

F: is that a praise?

K: it's easy to breathe and the mask stays on. Hands down it's your nose.

F: 'what song would you like to listen to very loudly?'

S: I'm not good with loud sounds... I prefer to listen quietly.

F: what do you listen to nowadays?

S: our new song(s)

K: I also don't want to listen (loudly), not really...

F: how about a song to listen quietly?

K: nothing special

F: Fujifuji!x

K: (ignoring him) (removes invisible dust from his shoulder)

Ta: 'what would you ask Santa for?'

S: it would be PS5?

K: Me? After all of that, I don't need it anymore, don't come. How does he get inside? There is no chimney. Is he picking a lock? Is Santa like a cockroach? Pretending to be dead when they're not... but maybe Santa is fine with all of that.

K: in the past, when I was in elementary school I was happy when Santa came, but then at some point he stopped coming. Wasn't that a crime (Santa's visits)? and parents also don't know how he comes in, isn't that scary? And from that time he doest come. I don't want him to come anymore.

'What song do you want to play when you can do concerts again?'

S: And Zero. I saod that in Sendai as well, but if it's not mode of Arche we probably won't...

Kyo: I don't really have one..

F: Do you want to play new songs?

K: I haven't listen to it (them). Isn't it how it is that you listen to them even when you weren't planning to? you dot feel like listening so much to the song you made yourself, no?

S: I also haven't listened to the new song(s) much.

Ta: Fujieda is listening to new songs a lot, in a car.

K: isn't that a bit narcissistic?

F: you don't want to perform new songs?

S: I already did while filming the music videos... doesn't that count?

'what time you go to bed and wake up?'

S: I go to bed at 6 and wake up at 1pm. It's my cycle.

K: I go to sleep at 1 and wake up around half nine. Should be around then? So there's someone who wants to know information like this?

F: they want to imagine (their lives)

K: and for what? Even if they know the time they don't know what we do

K: what time you wake up and then what time do you make coffee, make a toast, I don't understand why asking that, what's the point?

F: Shinya, is there something you'd like to know about Kyo?

S: I want to know everything.

K: I hate it that this person is called a doctor.

F: when the band has just started you two have met as first, right? What was your impression then?

S: I thought he's a really good person.

K: ...Oh?

F: And did you hit it off/became friends?

K: he didn't speak like this then. He spoke one or two things a day. He had long black hair and earrings.

S: You've bleached that black hair for me.

K: and, he said 'thank you' but... he said his kanji of the year is 心・heart, but he's the one without one. For over 20 years all band members are saying that he's like a robot or humanoid. When you go to his house he will reply with 'what is it?' with the chain on the door.

S: this is because when a certain member came some things happened...

K: But when I came over I was nice! I want to  visit! Remodel stuff! (with enthusiasm)

S: remodeling... (like the certain member) there are issues like that and that's why you're banned...

'is it weird if your mother comes to the concerts?'

K: isn't it okay?

S: and brings dad...

K: I'd love to see mother headbanging. The deep one when you start from waist!

F: do your parents come to the shows?

S: mine often come.

F: your parents as well, Kyo?

K: sometimes.

F: is it something you welcome?

K: yeah.

And then F asked when they came last time but probably T said nlt to ask something like that

About the avatar Music Clip for the 12/31 stream.

S: the video looks like PS2 game..

K: like that from Virtua Fighter.

The last comments

Shinya: Thank you for today. I think we won't be able to meet for a while, but there will be the nye stream and also a knot calendars, I hope you will spend the next year using them. Let's meet again.

Kyo: We couldn't meet at all this year, but after this long time seeing everyone's faces I calm down. I think it's a good thing. Everyone knows through social media what others are doing, but it is important to meet in person. We will be looking into concert plans, hope you stay tuned and thank you.

[tact-and-impulse]

@shepherds-of-haven, thanks for the fun prompts! I’ll be collecting my fics on AO3 as well.

encounter

She really doesn’t belong here.

Her fingers nervously run over the extra card in her pocket, as she scans the undulating crowd for telltale ashen hair and displeased features. It’s difficult, with the rhythmically flashing lights overhead. She’s tried calling, but with the heavy bass tingling in her jaw, it’s no wonder that Prihine hasn’t picked up. What her roommate could be doing in this downtown club, she has no idea, but she also doesn’t know the other girl that well. Prihine is from a wealthy Norm family, she never cleans up after herself, and from her frequent complaints, she loathes that she’s living in an ancient and cramped freshman dorm with a scholarship student who never goes to parties. But if something unsavory has happened to her, that would be awful.

So, she renews her grip on Prihine’s student ID and heads further into the building. She keeps to the walls, which are speckled with colorful paint and feel slightly sticky. But with her back covered, it’s safer this way. At first. Someone is shoved out of the crush, their solid back colliding into her, and she instinctively freezes. The pressure is brief, but she doesn’t wait to hear an apology, before she’s scrambling for the first exit sign in sight. She hurtles into a side street, ignoring the protests of a draft, and turns the nearest corner before collapsing.

The night air is cold, and she inhales lungfuls, trying to calm down. Trying not to cry. She has to find Prihine soon, and then, she can go back to campus. Where her classes are. Where the Mage clubs are filled with people who all know each other from Capra, while she was homeschooled. Where the Hunter organizations talk around her, forgetting she can understand their conversations. She hasn’t felt truly alone in years, but right now-

She isn’t. There’s someone here. She lifts her head and at the end of the alley, only a few paces away, she can make out the silhouette of a Hunter. White hair, gray eyes, a couple of piercings glinting in one ear, tattoos running up and down his arms. He’s crouched and balanced on his heels, an unlit stick of charch between his fingers, as he stares at her. 

“You okay?” His voice is low and placid, like he’s just woken up. 

“I...I just need a minute. I’m not good with crowds in tight spaces.”

“Yeah, I hate it when people breathe on me.”

She vigorously nods in agreement, before realizing. “Then, why are you here?”

“Band has a gig tonight. What about you?”

“I’m looking for my roommate. She forgot her ID, she can’t get back to our dorm without it.”

He gives a skeptical look, tucking the cigarette behind his unpierced ear for safekeeping. “Are you sure she’s in this club?”

While she answers, she takes out her phone. “She hasn’t returned my texts or calls, but she has Instagram. One of her cousins is famous on there, I think, and my roommate’s competitive, so she posts a lot. It looks like she was here in her last one...oh.” She frowns at the website, blocked entirely by a notification. She never did download the app, only searching for clues via Prihine’s frequently used social media, and now she needs an account to continue viewing.

He stifles a laugh, but his expression is only mildly amused as he extends his open palm. “Can I log in and try?”

“Sure. Thank you.” She draws closer to him, passing her device over, and his hand envelops it entirely. His thumbs are almost comically oversized as he types.

“Haven freshman?”

“Yes. Are you an upperclassman?”

“I dropped out a couple years ago. I’m across the street, at the culinary school. Is this the post you mentioned?” He slants the image towards her and she recognizes Prihine’s selfie, taken while she was waiting in line.

“Ah, that’s it! Have you seen her?”

“No, but one of my friends might have. He helps with the band’s publicity, so he’s around. Mind if I ask him?”

“Please, you’d be really helpful. Thank you, um...” 

“Halek.” He supplies, as he dials another guy named Riel, judging by the brief greeting when the call goes through. 

The conversation is short, and she notices the roommate must be from Leore, but she focuses on locating Prihine for the time being, only speaking to provide information and her own name. Riel doesn’t remember seeing the other girl, but he’ll check with security and will call back when they find her. The line dies, and with her phone back in her hands, she hesitates.

Fortunately, Halek pats the adjacent pavement. “Feel free to wait with me. Band’s not on again for another hour, so I’m not leaving.”

Relief sweeps over her, and she sits down, inquiring. “What do you play?”

“None of the others can agree on a genre, but I’m on drums. We perform around town, sometimes on campus if you’ve heard us before.”

“I don’t think so. Sorry.” She reflexively apologizes. “I don’t get out much.” Certainly, nowhere other than lecture auditoriums and the dining halls.

“What’s your major?”

“Biology, I’m pre-med.”

“Ah, that explains it. You’d get along with my twin brother, he’s currently applying and I don’t envy him. Everyone in our family’s invested in his acceptance, since somebody needs to live up to their standards. He’s not at Haven, but I can give you his number if you have questions.”

“I don’t want to bother him, if he’s stressed out.”

“He’s always stressed out though. That’s just how he is.” Nevertheless, his tone is fond.

“You must be close.” She draws her knees up, interlacing her fingers around them. “Your family doesn’t approve of your career?”

“They never did, they wanted me to be a politician.” He makes a disgusted expression. “No thanks. Too much work.”

“It definitely is. Signing papers, holding press conferences. A lot of people would be breathing on you.” She does her best to maintain a straight face.

“Exactly.” His gaze shifts to meet hers, and she’s not sure who breaks first, but in the next moment, they’re both laughing. Her hair’s fallen loose, and as she recovers her composure, she tucks it behind her ears. Not for the first time, he glances at the white streak, but he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he fishes in his back pocket, removing a small punch card that doubles as an advertisement. “Politics would mean quitting my job at the café too. It’s quiet, we have some Haven students like you.”

She accepts it, noting the offer of a free meal after five purchases. “What kind of food do you serve?”

“Here, I’ll show you.” He pulls up his Instagram, scrolling through vibrant pictures of their daily specials, each plate unique. It all seems appetizing, especially in the short cooking videos. In the clips, his steady fingers arrange sandwiches, work over pans of sizzling ingredients, and decorate confections.

There’s one motion in particular that intrigues her. “How’d you do that? Break an egg with one hand?”

“It’s just easier for me, keeps my other one available.”

“You make it look natural.” She attempts to figure out the trick, imagining an egg in her palm and flexing her knuckles.

“One of the waitresses can do it too.”

“So, is it a hiring requirement?”

He laughs again. “No, the other one breaks every egg she touches. You can meet them and see for yourself. You’d probably get along with them.” There’s a pause, as he gives a thoughtful expression. “Thanks.”

Too surprised, she stammers. “F-for what?”

“Usually, I’m too tired for these late night gigs, but right now, I feel fine. I can make it through tonight.”

“...Me too.” She softly says. Her earlier panic has been forgotten, and Halek’s presence is comforting. She’s having fun, just sitting out here and talking. Laughing, which she hasn’t in a long time. Already, she feels closer to him than anyone on campus.

Riel’s return call interrupts them, with the news that her roommate is currently detained at the club’s entrance and clearly unhappy by the screeching in the background. It’s her cue to go, and she hastily brushes herself off, thanking Halek again.

“No problem. Are you going back to your dorm?”

“I thought I would.” She hesitates for just a second, before venturing. “Or I can stay? And listen to your band’s performance?”

The corner of his mouth lifts. “If you want, I can let you in backstage. Take a nap, eat the snacks I brought. You don’t have to worry about crowds at all.”

Oh. That’s very kind of him. Her heart skips a beat, and she hopes she’s not blushing. “Okay then. I’d like that. See you soon?”

“See ya.”

Squaring her shoulders, she makes her way to the front. She braces for whatever abrasive words are in store, but she’s made up her mind. For the first time this semester, she’ll try to have an enjoyable college experience.

[soundsof71]

FIVE ALBUMS YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!

aka, My Top 5 of 2020, but I didn’t want to seem too retro!

Yep, I have a classic rock blog. Yep, I think that the best rock and roll in history is being made RIGHT NOW. And yep, ALL of it is being made by women. 

(Shown at top, Nova Twins by Ant Adams [x] and The Tissues by Michael Espleta [x]. I was planning to make a collage of all my faves in concert, but  not all of them were able to play in 2020. Both of these photos are pre-pandemic.)

There’s been quite a bit of movement on this list, and all five of these have spent some time at Number 1 as the year has done (gestures broadly) All This™. Anyone looking for rock and roll is going to dig any of these. 

Rocking out is just the start of it, though. Wrestling with my bipolarity and schizophrenia is tough on a good day, and there haven’t been too many of those lately. The plague has also taken its toll around me, with two family members dead and a third who’s doing better, but will likely never be all the way back. (Mask up, kids!)

I’ve written plenty about how deeply Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers have moved me this year (and will do so again), but in those rare stretches where I’ve had enough spare energy to listen to music at all these days, I’ve mostly been looking for more than beautiful music. Heavy times need heavy lifting, and I find that in heavy music. 

The five albums here have all helped carry me, pointing the way toward light.

1) BULLY, SUGAREGG

Alicia Bognanno is a force of nature as a guitarist, vocalist, composer, and producer/engineer. (While working on her degree in audio engineering at MTSU, she interned with Steve Albini, who remains both a fan and an admirer). A Nashville transplant from Minnesota, she’s still a natural fit in her home on Sub Pop: as heavy as Soundgarden, as hooky as Sleater-Kinney. 

I was blown away hearing her searing honesty while working through her discoveries of her bisexuality and bipolarity (double bi!), and her triumphant roar lifts me out of my seat every time I listen.

“She sings the hell out of [these songs], her voice fraying to the point of combustion every time she launches to the top of her range. This is phenomenal music for converting anger and anxiety into unbound joy.” ~Stereogum, Album of the Week

Also, check this fantastic interview with Alicia in the New York Times talking about what she’s gone through to get here. 

TURN IT UP!

2) GANSER, LOOK AT THAT SKY

Ganser syndrome is a rare dissociative disorder characterized by nonsensical or wrong answers to questions and other dissociative symptoms such as fugue, amnesia or conversion disorder, often with visual pseudohallucinations and a decreased state of consciousness. ~Wikipedia #it me

‘Just Look At That Sky’ doesn’t presume to offer solutions; it’s an honest document of what it feels like to wade through anxiety, day by day, not a survival guide or handbook of answers none of us actually have. Whether or not you pay attention to this, Ganser are simply one of the most invigorating, exciting new bands. ~Clashmusic

I saw one very positive review compare Ganser to a cross between Fugazi and Sonic Youth, but I think they hit much, much harder than either of those. And as you can surely guess, I also deeply relate to their themes of mental illness and dissociation while trying to make it through All This™. But my god, are they TIGHT. This is a BAND.

Ganser has two fantastic lead vocalists, and on “Bad Form”, bassist/vocalist Alicia Gaines wrote the song for the voice of keyboardist/vocalist Nadia Garofolo. Alicia also wrote a FANTASTIC essay on the strains that making an album during a pandemic puts on the mental health of the entire band at talkhouse: “Writing, recording, reaching out, balancing relationships outside and within the band, I found (and still find) myself under-rested and agitated to no particular end. More than not doing enough, I was not enough.” 

(If you can’t relate to that, I can’t relate to you, tbh.)

This video also does a fantastic job of showing dissociation. TURN IT UP!

3) THE TISSUES, BLUE FILM

“Blue Film” is a ten-song shot of dagger-twisting electro-(s)punk. It’s completely addictive from the very first listen. The tour de force is “Rear Window”, an art-punk masterpiece of slashing guitars and mad caterwauling. Copious doses of jaunty poetics and social commentary reward the earlooker patient enough to untangle Kristine Nevrose’s hysterical meowing about intergalactic salt shakers and hysterectomies, but I’m too emotionally invested to look under the hood.” ~ Sputnik Music

“Rear Window” is in fact my most-played 2020 track. TURN IT UP!

4) GUM COUNTRY, SOMEWHERE

It’s not all heavy! But even when I’m looking for something light and hooky, I need a bite, and Gum Country has done it with the kind of swirly, feeedback-laden wall of sound that Lush or Yo La Tengo would make if they lived in LA. (Recent transplants to SoCal from Vancouver, I do think that the sunshine has gone straight to their heads, in the very best way.)

Indie music nerds will know guitarist/composer/singer/front woman Courtney Garvin from The Courtneys, and she really does throw up a glorious wall of sound. I adore this video too! Sweet, swinging, fun -- and yes, the drummer is playing keyboard with one hand while slapping the skins with the other! 

I mentioned earlier that all five of these albums have spent part of the year at #1 on my list -- I think that this one might have spent the longest stretch there. Like all shoegaze, even as hooky as this, the truth of these songs is revealed in VOLUME. TURN IT UP!

5) NOVA TWINS, WHO ARE THE GIRLS?

Now, THIS is heavy! Amy Lee (vocals, guitar) and Georgia South (bass) are fucking LOUD, and insanely intense. A mix of grime, hip-hop, metal, punk, and good old rock and roll, they’re a harder-hitting, more theatrical Prodigy, with a pyre of intensity that recalls the heaviest howls of Rage Against The Machine. Indeed, Nova Twins spent a good bit of 2019 playing heavy metal festivals and toured as openers for Prophets of Rage. (Tom Morello has been a fan and supporter from the beginning.)

As you may have noted in the photo at the top of this post, their musical audacity extends to visuals too: they design their own clothes, hair, and makeup, they art direct their own videos, and more. They impress the hell out of me, and I’ve been a huge fan since hearing their first singles in 2018. I’ll plant a flag and say that Georgia South in particular is the most innovative musician on any instrument in any genre right now, but they’re both absolutely monsters. 

I’m honestly not at all sure that #5 is high enough for this, but I’m absolutely certain that after this video, you’re gonna need to rest for a little. LOL

“Taxi” is the story of two gleefully and creatively violent women shaking up the local crime syndicate as they use a vintage cab for their moving murder scene. This is the movie that Robert Rodriguez wishes he was making with Sin City, if it were combined with Blade Runner and The Matrix. And gangsters. And a snake.

I’m gonna take your crown I’m gonna, I’m gonna bleed you out We demand it by the hour We devour, control, power

I’m gonna burn it down Even the, even the royals bow

So not the same kind of therapeutic work being explored on this rekkid, but you know what? Fucking shit up is therapeutic too! 

Definitely take this full screen, and for the love of fuck, TURN IT UP!

SO. Not done with the best of 2020 yet? I’m sure not! A lot of my favorite songs aren’t on albums (at least not yet), so for an unedited list of everything I’m finding, check out my Spotify list, 2020: Shuffle This List! 268 songs and counting, over 15 hours, and not finished yet. I’m still checking out everyone else’s Best of lists (including yours! Message me links to yours!!!), so will probably be adding to this for most of 2021, too. 

And for more banging tracks by women from 2020, plus a few 2019 gems that I’m still grooving to, check out my more thoroughly curated Spotify playlist Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam. (You’ll see a couple of these tracks there!) I’m working on a YouTube playlist and an essay to properly roll that one out. I’m also still tweaking the ending, but the three dozen or so tunes there are definitely bangin’.

Tell me if you hear anything you dig here, and tell me what YOU’VE found! We’re gonna get through this together.

Yr pal, Timmy

[babydollmarauders]

Hi! I was wondering if you would be interested in taking a request for prompt 15 with Reggie from Julie And The Phantoms? Maybe she can see and hear them all the time and her and Reggie catch feelings for each other and she tells him not to fall in love with her? Of course, he does and he confesses to her and it’s all a angsty because she thinks it won’t work because she’s a lifer and he’s a ghost but then it ends up being fluffy with him focusing really hard to touch her and they smoooooch or whateva? Sorry if this was a lot to ask for.

Fallin’ (Reggie x Reader)

Requested: Yes

Summary: Reggie and his best friend fall in love, but she doesn’t believe they can be together.

Pairing: Reggie x Reader

Prompts: 15. “I told you not to fall in love with me.”

Warnings: Mild language at the end.

A/N: I love writing for Reggie, and my sister sure likes it when I do too, because she gets to read them when I’m done and she always complains there’s not enough Reggie fics (he’s her fave)

-------------------------------------

Your earbuds were starting to make your ears ache, but you kept them in for the sole purpose of making sure no one talked to you. You were sitting at the top of the bleachers in the gymnasium for the school assembly, the sound of your favorite band, Why Don’t We, was flowing into your ears as you blocked out the sound of Dirty Candy. You closed your eyes for a second, leaning your head back on the wall behind you, slowly letting your consciousness slip away from you. That is until you felt a nudge on your knee, opening your eyes back up, you realized the assembly was over and everyone was leaving the bleachers. You stood, collecting your backpack before jumping row to row, making your way down the seats. When you finally reached the bottom, you heard a piano playing. You removed your earbuds and looked up to the stage to see Julie Molina, a fellow music program student. You watched as she sang, her voice captivating you, making you push you push through the crowd of students and make it to the front of the stage just in time to see three boys and their instruments appear on the stage. As the schools resident freak, a.k.a. the daughter of a medium, you could already tell that the boys were other worldly. Yet, you couldn’t help staring at the bassist, who obviously caught you as he sent a wink your way. You could feel your cheeks get red, but did you didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as he soon disappeared along with the two others. You shrugged your shoulders and started pushing your way out of the crowd as they all stood entranced by the appearance and disappearance of the band.

“That’s wild. They could see us when we’re playing, but not when the music ended.” You glanced over to see the three boys again, only this time at the side, in front of the stage.

“We should double check.” The bassist ran onto the stairs to the stage, waving his butt around a couple times. “Yeah, I don’t… I don’t think they can see us.”

“I wish I couldn’t see you.” The drummer stated exasperatedly.

“Yeah, me too.” You shook your head to try and get the image out of your mind as the boys heads whipped around too.

“You can see us?!” They questioned, eyes wide.

“Yeah. My mom’s a medium, so she can see and talk to ghosts, I inherited the trait from her.” You explained. “It kinda makes me the school freak because nobody believes me.”

You looked around to see that the gym was empty besides you, the boys, Julie, and her friend Flynn, who looked upset. You watched as she ran out, Julie following after her. You followed after the boys, making your way out of the gym as well, not feeling like going to calculus.

“This is so cool! Having another person be able to see and talk to us. I’m Luke, by the way. And that’s Alex.” The guitarist pointed to the drummer that you related to in the gymnasium. “And that’s Reggie.”

Reggie smiled and waved at you before the boys began to make their own little pyramid, clearly waiting for Julie. You leaned against a column near them, watching as they scared Julie.

“JULIE!” They exclaimed, making her jump a little in fear and scream.

“You! Stop doing that! I’m serious.” She glared at the ghost boys, making Reggie puts his hands up in mock surrender.

“Whoa! This one’s all on you. We were already here. Well actually, we were over there.” He pointed behind them. “And then we came over here.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at his stupidity, making Julie’s head snap over to you, finally noticing your presence. Thinking you were laughing at her, she stuttered for an excuse, but shut her mouth as you began to speak.

“Relax.” You told her. “I can see them too. Daughter of a medium, remember?”

“Oh! Right!”

---------------------------------

Its now been around a week, and you and Julie had become fast friends, but you had mostly hung around the boys, them enjoying the company of someone besides Julie that can see and talk to them. You had become closest to Reggie, you and him bonding over your love of things such as Star Wars and your guilty pleasure of country music. He even played you his song ‘Home is Where My Horse is’. You were currently sitting in the studio with Reggie, Alex was currently with his ghost friend Willie, and Luke currently talking to Julie at school, which you were currently skipping. Reggie was complaining to you about Jar Jar Binks.

“Reg, you know I love hanging out with you, but please, I’m begging you, to let it go.” You rolled your eyes at his whining, but still laughing his offended face.

“Awww, I love hanging out with you too.”

“Just don’t fall in love with me.” You winked jokingly, and Reggie laughed but honestly, you weren’t joking. You’re mom had told you before about a time that one of the ghosts she was friends with in her teen years had fallen in love with her and got pissed and refused to stay friends after she told him she couldn’t be with him because he was dead.

-----------------------------------

It had been about a month now since you had met the boys and you were currently watching them perform ‘Edge of Great’ at Julie’s garage party. Watching as Julie attempted to ignore Luke to try and shake the crush she had confessed about to you. But, she wasn’t the only lifer in love with a ghost, because you and Reggie had only gotten closer, and honestly you think you may have broken your own rule and fallen in love with him. Your eyes wandered his body, his signature leather jacket conforming to his arms. He caught your eyes on him and sent you a wink, making you roll your eyes and smile, but on the inside, you felt like you had just melted.

Once the performance was over and the boys disappeared, you made your way into the garage, passing Julie as she made conversation with some of the guests.

“On your way to find Reggie?” She assumed as she sent you a suggestive wink and a laugh, to which you just shoved her shoulder.

“Shut up.” You laughed, embarrassed that she knew you so well. You climbed up the ladder in the garage into the above space, as that’s where Reggie had told you he would be after the performance. You spotted the ghost boy sitting on a bean bag, playing around with his bass.

“Hey loser.” You smiled at him, his head snapping up to look at you, his eyes peering into yours.

“Hey freak.” He chuckled out, setting his bass down on the ground next to him, eyeing you as you sat in the bean bag next to him. You watched as his smile dropped and his tone suddenly became serious, which was very unlike your best friend. “(Y/N), I need to tell you something.”

“Of course. You can tell me anything. You know that.” Your eyebrows furrowed together, your smile dropping as well. He seemed like he was struggling to get the words out, and you began to speak at the same time that he finally spit them out. “Are you okay?”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Wait what?!” Your eyes grew wide, your breath hitching in your throat. “Reggie, I told you not to fall in love with me.”

“I know! And I tried not to, but I mean, look at you! You’re beautiful, and you smell good, and we like the same things, and I mean, can you blame me?!” His voice seemed to drown out as he rambled on and on.

“Reggie, you realize that we can’t be together, right? I mean, you’re kind of dead.” Your eyes grew glossy with tears, your voice breaking at the end of your sentence.

“If you don’t love me, just tell me. Please, don’t make excuses.” Your eyes locked with his. You could deal with your feelings when you thought he didn’t return them, but now knowing that he felt the same way made your heart ache.

“Reggie, you don’t understand. I do love you.” You explained. “I’m so in love with you, you can even ask Julie, I confessed this exact thing to her yesterday. But we’re from different worlds, literally. I mean, I’m alive, and you’re dead. It would never work.”

“I can make it work. I can try, for you. We can do this.” He grasped your hand in his and you gasped at the feeling.

“How did you do that?!” Your voice shook, knowing you couldn’t keep your guard up for much longer.

“I focused. Really hard.” He moved his hand to now hold your face. “See? We can make this work. All you have to do is say the word.”

“Okay. We can try. But please, if this doesn’t work, don’t leave me alone. I don’t think I could handle that.” Your voice was as soft as you could possibly make it, knowing that if you tried to speak any louder, it would break again.

“I promise”

His eyes shut slowly and you took that as a sign to close yours as well, his face coming so close to yours that you could feel his minty breath fanning across your lips. Your lips finally collide, locking together and moving in sync. His tongue brushes across your bottom lip, and you part your lips slightly, letting his tongue push past them and gently caress against yours. You explored each others mouths, before pulling away from each other for some much needed air.

“I feel dirty. Like I just watched some weird heterosexual porno.” You heard behind you, and you whipped around to find Alex peeking at you both from the ladder. Watching as he shuddered and jumped down from the ladder. “Gross.”

-------------------------------------

Taglist: @starkeysgirl @meangirlsx @whyisquill @bestdressedandstressed @aunicornmademedoit @solophantoms @noncannonships @chennyetomlinson @dpaccione

[marymccartneyphotos]

Paul Weller in conversation with Mary McCartney: ‘We used to pinch a lot of Beatles songs’

For this Woking-born son of the 1970s, there were four father figures who underpinned everything, from his first guitar to an inspirational career that continues to expand and explore more than 50 years later. On the release of his latest solo record, his third in three years, we asked Paul Weller to pick through the past with an artist who knows better than any how The Beatles shaped the generation that followed. By Dylan Jones; 4 June 2021 from British GQ Magazine

(edited for Mary McCartney content only)

For Weller’s latest GQ appearance, we thought it would be good to put him together with an old friend, the photographer Mary McCartney. Which is what we did...

Mary McCartney: So, Paul, when did you become a Beatles fan? When you were 12?

Paul Weller: When I was five years old. I had some of the singles, because my mother bought them, but the first time I saw them was the Royal Variety Performance in 1963, when I was five. From the time I saw The Beatles I loved music and then when I was around age 12 I started trying to learn to play guitar. Me and my mate had a few lessons for a bit and got a few weeks in, but the guy was trying to teach us how to read music, so we got bored with that. And as soon as we learnt enough chords we stopped the lessons and we just start doing it ourselves.

MM: When did you actually start writing songs?

PW: As soon as we – me and my mate Steve Brookes – learnt the three or four chords. I’m still mates with him now. We started a band and we just learned together and we just kept swapping whatever we’d learned in the week, swapping back and forth. It was just me and him and then we just gathered up people as we could find them. There was never any doubt in my mind that’s what I would do and, even at around 12, I thought that was definitely what I was going to do for a living. Well, I didn’t know it could be a career, I just knew I was going to do music. So by the age of 14 we were playing pubs, working men’s clubs and social clubs with The Jam. But your dad’s band was the catalyst for all of it.

MM: You know, I’m directing a documentary about the history of Abbey Road Studios at the moment, so I’ve been taken back to those times. There is a photograph of me aged three months on one of the sofas in the studio, so I was there before I can remember being there. Whenever I walk in through the doors I still get a funny feeling. But I’m learning a lot about The Beatles’ recording process, though. What was your writing process in the early days?

PW: When we started to write songs we just used to pinch a lot of The Beatles songs. They were very basic, just us taking our first steps as songwriters. I was actually very passionate at the time, but I didn’t have the skills to articulate that passion. That kind of developed. Our first songs would have been nonsense songs, just “My Baby Love Me” stuff... But, like every other fledgling songwriter, I just started off by aping other people, like The Beatles did, like Dylan did. Everyone starts out copying other people.

MM: I assume you recorded your new album during lockdown?

PW: I did. I had about four or five tracks left over from [last year’s] On Sunset and they were just lying around, unused. So I started working away, chipping away, trying to put together a new batch of songs. As ever, I recorded them all in the studio down in Surrey, just me and a guitar singing along to a click track. If I couldn’t record with the band, I’d send the recordings to them and they’d play their parts and then send them back. It was a very odd process, but it worked. However, when we could finally all record again together, it was like the first day of school after the summer holidays. It was great. The writing process was actually the same as it always is, but because I knew I didn’t have any live work for the foreseeable future, we just created all this space. I think the lockdown was actually hugely influential in a way, as all the quiet made me appreciate nature in a way I hadn’t done for quite some time, maybe ever. I could really feel and hear and see nature again, it started to take over. I loved hearing the birds sing and not seeing any aeroplanes in the sky. It helped me think about things I would never normally think about in any situation. I felt more in tune with nature. I had a thought that if we weren’t here, if we all disappeared, which I’m sure we will do one day, the earth would just reclaim itself and that it will always be here and we won’t.

MM: It was such a nice feeling, actually stopping and looking and appreciating, not rushing around. I was lying in bed one night in the middle of London. It was 2am and it was so quiet it felt like we had gone back 100, 200 years. I couldn’t hear the rumble of the underground and it was almost as though cars hadn’t been invented.

PW: How was your lockdown, Mary?

MM: Mine was good, but we’re not here to talk about me. I’m grilling you today. But mine was good. Well, I say it was good, but it was unnerving. I think, on a global scale, it was just unnerving because it was like living in a science fiction movie. I think the main thing a lot of us benefitted from was having to slow down and not being able to just go and do things. So, in that sense, it wasn’t a bad thing. I was obviously worried about people’s health and the economy, but, like you, I really got in touch with nature. I did a lot more photographic work outside. And, of course, I started to prep for the Abbey Road doc. What’s the perfect recording scenario for you?

PW: Well, I love my studio and, to be honest, I’d be quite happy to never come out of the place. I could quite happily stay there forever. I bought the building in 1999, but it’s only really been the past 15 years or so that we’ve really got it together, with the sound and the vibe and the equipment. I’m continually making little acoustic adjustments to the room. We’ve got a drum kit set up all the time, as well as a mic’d piano, so it’s always ready to roll. I can play guitar, obviously, as well as bass and piano, but I’ve never really enjoyed playing the drums, because I can’t sing and drum with any conviction. It’s a different art altogether, playing drums. I like drummers who play the song, who can play the tune and who aren’t trying to do their own thing. That requires a certain amount of discipline, a different discipline: not playing too much but playing the right thing. Your dad is a good drummer.

MM: Yeah, he is. Mum introduced me to a song he played drums on years ago, called “My Dark Hour”, by the Steve Miller Band. He’s credited as “Paul Ramon” and he does backing vocals, guitar, bass and drums. It was recorded in Olympic Studios in London towards the end of 1969, after an argument Dad had had with the others over Allen Klein becoming their manager. The others had gone off and he said Steve Miller walked in and asked if he wanted to play the drums on this track he was recording. I think the drumming on it is so good, but you can tell he’s letting out a lot of tension.

PW: I love that first solo album of your dad’s, the one with you as a baby on the back. That’s probably one of my favourite records. It was lo-fi before lo-fi was even talked about.

MM: I love the rawness of it, as it’s just so personal. I still listen to McCartney and Ram a lot. They shot the album cover up in Scotland. They were horse riding and he zipped me up in his jacket. He put me in the jacket so I was safe, as he was going riding. I love that picture from a photographic point of view as well, as it’s very real. It’s taken at the end of the day, during the golden hour. It’s so natural.

PW: Now, what was it like growing up, then, as a daughter of a Beatle?

MM: Well, it was more like growing up as a daughter of Paul and Linda, because they were such a great couple. But,

also, they were such adventurous people. So, we were kind of following them around and going on lots of adventures. We went on tour with them and we really only stopped when we needed to go to school. So I have lots of memories of travelling as a girl. I even remember going on the double-decker that they used as a tour bus in 1972. The seats on the upper deck were replaced by mattresses and bean bags.

PW: I assume it was your mother’s inspiration that made you want to be a photographer...

MM: I think so, as I think I just always saw her taking pictures. She had such a casual style too. She didn’t do a lot of setting up and neither do I. It’s just so much nicer when you connect with your sitter and when you just casually take pictures. I much prefer that and I certainly know that you don’t like to have your picture taken in a very set-up kind of situation. What really got me into becoming a photographer was looking at Mum’s pictures from the 1960s. They were about her being with someone and taking pictures and very much not “This is Jimi Hendrix”. Again, casual. When I became a photographer, I took Mum’s talent for granted. She would take pictures out the car window and then they became these books or a print on the wall. When I started doing it myself I’d put the camera up and I’d be like, “Dad, can you turn the car around so I can take this picture?” And he’d be like, “No.” She would take pictures so effortlessly and I didn’t realise there was a knack to it. Mum and Dad would treat everyone equally; I do remember that. We were always surrounded by people, so I suppose that’s why I think I am a bit of a people person. I like meeting people and I like connecting with people, but I still find I’m quite shy about it. I find it stressful, but I like it. But I could never in a million years get up on a stage, ever. Even thinking about it makes me feel like fainting. When did you first walk out in front of a big crowd? How does that feel? Is it just feeling that adulation and love and appreciation and then giving that back? Does that feel really healthy? I always think when it works perfectly, it just must be such a healthy feeling.

PW: It’s almost a weird thing, because just prior to going on stage, especially in the hour before, I’m in bits. I’m so nervous and so don’t want to be there and want to go home, and then within minutes of actually being on stage, as soon as that first tune strikes up, I automatically feel as though this is completely where I’m supposed to be. It feels like the most natural, most comfortable, Zen-like place you could possibly be, it’s so weird. I’ve always felt nervous before going on stage. That’s never changed. I mean, it’s got a little bit better as I’ve got older, but not much. I think I need to have that feeling. It was weird, because there was a time when I tried to stop drinking – before I stopped completely – and when I stopped I suddenly wasn’t nervous before going on stage. And I didn’t like it. It felt really odd.

MM: Isn’t there something superstitious about this?

PW: No, I don’t think so. I just think it gives you an edge. Those nerves can make you edgy and I think that’s important for me.

MM: And then did the nerves come back?

PW: When I started drinking again they did.

MM: But now you’re not?

PW: When I finally stopped drinking it took me at least two years to get used to that feeling of going on stage totally sober and straight. And now I love it. But it took a good two years to get comfortable, as it was really odd at first. I’d be on stage and I’d notice so much, like there’s a guy in the front row who’s wearing a green shirt or something, and now I don’t feel that at all. Now it feels natural and I have a greater appreciation of it. That’s the other thing as well, getting more from it and being more conscious of what we’re doing.

MM: Growing up, watching Mum and Dad on stage just felt natural. But I’ve seen you play a few times and it makes me realise how much I couldn’t do it myself. There is such great energy and it’s really entertaining and you look completely natural, but I wouldn’t be able to feel comfortable in that position. Also, to me, it feels like your music has to be played live. I went to a concert before lockdown and the person was so vacant and not connected to the audience and, because of that, it made me nervous. You could tell they were going through the motions, that it was an act. They had no connection at all. Whereas when I look at Dad on stage he’s all about connection. I think I had taken it for granted before that, but when you see someone who doesn’t connect, you realise how important it is.

PW: I know some people who turn up just before they go on stage and as soon as they finish they get in the car and they’re off. I don’t understand that either. It’s a far bigger thing than that for me, because I’m looking for that connection. As much as the audience might be, I am as well, and my band too, because I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes and there are some nights where you get so connected together by an audience that this thing just grows and grows. It transcends the moment.

MM: It’s like magic.

PW: It’s something special. The last time I played at the Fillmore in San Francisco, a couple of years ago, it was like that, and it wasn’t because of gear. It was almost like we took off, like the whole room just lifted up.

MM: Have you got a ritual for after the show?

PW: No, not really. No.

MM: My dad has this sandwich and a Margarita, because he doesn’t eat before he goes on. He waits until after.

PW: I have a cup of tea these days. In the past, I would have got off my nut, but I don’t any more. But if you have a gig like that and that becomes your benchmark, you’re always looking to get back to that moment, which is not always possible. But that becomes the thing you’re always searching for, to find that connection. We’re always striving for the spectacular. It’s the same with record companies. Sometimes you have to compromise, but what you really want to do is pursue your own passions. It was more difficult when we first started, because the record company tried to step in more and tried to guide us to do this or that. In the early days of The Jam they even suggested we cover a 10cc song. We said, “No fucking way is that going to happen.” You’ve got to stick to your guns. You’ve got to pursue what you set out to achieve.

MM: Fashion and clothes feel important to what you do, maybe because they make you feel a certain way to be able to perform?

PW: Yeah. But although I was too young to be really involved in the 1960s, I still lived through that time and that whole thing has never gone away for me. I love that period and it informs a lot of what I do, including how I dress. The whole look and sound of that time is just really formative. I don’t feel I’m stuck in that time, but it will always be the cornerstone of everything I do. I just thought it was such a brilliant time for music and fashion and art and all that stuff.

MM: What do you think it is about it? Is it experimentation?

PW: I think so. It was those postwar years, coming out of all that austerity, that bleak black and white, grey world – large parts of the country were still like that in the early 1960s. There were still bombsites. There was still slum housing. So it took a long time for Britain to become modern, but when it did, it was explosive.

MM: Dad describes it as it all suddenly going technicolour.

PW: Yeah, I think that’s true and you just see the clothes and music expanding. Men stopped wearing demob suits and started wearing all these bright-coloured clothes.

MM: And the pill came about and made life a lot easier.

PW: Then the other pills came a little bit later and helped expand everyone’s horizons. These people were pioneers. And also look at the art world – Peter Blake, David Hockney, Bridget Riley. It felt as though everything was becoming more modern and opening up and becoming different and colourful. I was only a very tender age, but, nevertheless, that influence was of great importance and value and always has been. Punk was probably the first time I experienced that freedom. We missed out on the 1960s, had a lift with Bowie, but after that it was largely a cultural wasteland. I was always looking for when I thought it was going to be our term. The 1970s were still very much in the shadow of the 1960s until punk. And then it all blossomed. Then it all started to make sense.

Fat Pop (Volume 1) by Paul Weller is out now.

Producer: Grace Guppy. First assistant: Pedro Faria. Digital technician: Alexander Brunacci. Make-up: Jane Bradley. Retouching: The Hand Of God

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Why YOU should give Rush a chance

Okay, so right off the bat, this is not going to be like my other posts on my blog. This is not a post about some show that has captivated my interest or anything at all related to animation. If that's not your cup of Dot rambling coffee, than I would highly recommend you take your L right now and come back for your regularly scheduled programming in a few days.

Are they gone? Okay cool! For those of you that stuck around past my forewarning let me tell you about my newest special interest to join my now growing music love affair with 80's and 90's Rock n Roll. For those of you that don't know, I'm guessing that most of you do not know what Rush even is. If you are not somehow on the autism spectrum or know a lot about music in general than this band will be entirely unknown to you. Rush is a three man progressive rock band born in Canada made up of three incredibly amazing men Gary "Geddy" Lee, his best friend since he was 11 years old Alex Lifeson, and last but most certainly not least, the amazingness that was Rush's drummer and songwriter Neil Peart. Together, the three of them changed the world of progressive rock through Geddy's unique vocal qualities, Alex's incredibly underrated shredding guitar skills, and Neil's immaculate drums and lyrics. I am here to tell you, yes YOU reading this length rambling message in three sections to keep this fair. Each member will get their own sections and I will try my hardest to keep personal bias out of this. I also just watched Rush: Beyond The Lighted Stage yesterday with my mom so I will mention some things that we talked about during it to try and sell people.

Geddy Lee:

* Geddy has one of the most unique voices in all of rock music. This will most likely be the thing that turns off the people that do listen to me and wind up listening to a couple of songs. He has had a lot of critics for his higher pitched voice usually yelling lyrics. However, I love his singing voice. It is filled with energy and power to it. His voice has a weight to it that not a whole lot of other people can really nail if they really want to.

* You want to talk about sheer talent? How many of you all know lead singers that are a one and done kind of singer? They can play one instrument and they're done? Well shove them aside because Geddy can play not only bass guitar but a double neck bass, synthesizer, and piano. Yeah I think all you haters can stand aside because this man will always be amazing technically.

* So many of lead singers in my opinion, think that they own the band. Because they get to sing the songs right? That means that they get to make all the important decisions and they can't ever do anything wrong. Well for those of you that know Rush, you will remember the synthesizer era. The era of new wave Rush where Geddy shelved his bass guitars for his synthesizer. This caused a small rift between Lee, Lifeson, and Peart who were not at all fans of the way that the synthesizer was going. While Geddy was having a fun time with it, he shelved the synthesizer almost for good and went back to his roots. I don't know many other lead singers that would put up something that they were legitimately having a good time with just for his bandmates.

* Geddy's just general goofball personality is something that continues to make me chuckle. Since he and Alex have known each other for practically ever (they met when they were 11) and have been there for each other for most of their lives they have very similar energy's.

Alex Lifeson:

* Alex Lifeson is an underrated guitarist. There I said it. I feel like of the three of them (Geddy, Alex, and Neil) Alex gets talked about the least due to the fact that Geddy also plays guitar. While it might be a different brand of guitar some people forget just how genuinely face melting his solos are. I could listen to his riff in Tom Sawyer all day long I swear. I'm still working my way through every Rush album in chronological order (I'm just now finishing A Farewell To Kings an absolutely beautiful album.) But his skills are not one to be downsized and I think he is an amazing, amazing guitar player.

* You want to talk about the group goofball? If Geddy is goofy, you look in the dictionary this man is the pure definition of a hilarious and quirky character. When Rush was FINALLY indicted into the Rock N'Roll hall of fame in 2013, after Neil and Geddy's beautiful and moving speech's about how important this means to them, Alex gets up there and his entire speech is spoken in very animated BLAHs. But what's really funny is that if you watch carefully he is actually trying to tell you a story. It's a story about how they all got there past the critics that tried to stop them along the way.

* I love the relationship between Alex and Geddy especially. They're just both such unique kinds of people but they have similar quirks and traits that are evidence of decades upon decades of friendship. I get massive big bro vibes from watching the three of them play together and it's really touching that they never let the fame go to their heads.

* While watching the documentary, I found myself in awe of just his general personality. He was a jokester and the life of the party, and even if sometimes Neil was exhausted by his presence it was obvious that he loved his bros.

Neil Peart:

* If you are asking me, the heart and soul of Rush, was their drummer Neil Peart. Neil wasn't just their drummer though, he also wrote all of Rush's songs after their first album together. Neil grew up probably the biggest bookworm to ever bookworm. He was a socially awkward kid it seemed since he was always reading as his parents explained in the documentary (more on this laster). This resulted in lyrics that are absolutely gorgeous in any context and sound like literature themselves. One of my favorite Rush songs is their song Rivendale themed to Lord Of The Rings.

* Peart was one of the most technically amazing drummers of all time. I don't think I'm saying new information when I say that. He has been praised for not only his technical prowess but the intensity of how he played as well. He was a force of nature when you put him in front of a drum kit. The drum solos in Rush are not easy. They are technically extremely difficult and always leave me to collect my jaw from the floor.

* Lyrically speaking, his lyrics were so intelligent and beautifully worded that it's hard to focus on them sometimes. I've listened to Fly By Night I can't tell you how many times just within the last few months. They are so unique, so beautiful, just so Rush. I can't think of any other word to describe them other than Rush. Nobody else could have written lyrics like these other than Neil himself. Even though he's gone now (Rest In Power you absolute Mad Lad.) I still feel like his music will resonate with millions of future generations to come. It could be the year 3000 for all I care and people will still be jamming to Tom Swayer, just you watch.

* Lastly about Neil himself, this is of the opinion of my mom and I, and you heard it here first, I think that Neil was aspie. He was the quietest of the three of them, he hated getting spotted by fans while the other two seem to tolerate it, he was constantly stimming with his drumsticks on and off the stage by spinning them around his fingers, he was totally nerdy and antisocial, he loved literature more than anything else growing up and would rather have a book in his hands than go out to a public place with his classmates, and he grieved in a different way than most people do. When his wife and daughter passed away, he hit the road with his motorcycle and most often Geddy and Alex wouldn't hear from him for months at a time. They had cute little nicknames for each other that Neil would always sign the postcards with. It was a different one every single time.

Thanks for listening to me ramble on this day guys! I really appreciate it, I know that this hasn't been your regularly schedule Dot programming but I really appreciate you sticking around! Give Rush a listen to if I've piqued your interest you will not regret it.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Chapter 1 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream? 

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox) 

Warnings: mentions of death, the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one. 

Chapter One

~|Emily Fox| ~

As a seventeen-year-old, you should not be left to your devices. Unless you have no other choice. When you have a dream your parents have called unrealistic without ever listening to what you were actually capable of, you have no other choice but to move out and fend for yourself. Thankfully, I can stay with Uncle Mitch for a while until I’m off to college.  Since leaving my parents’ house at fourteen, my life has consisted of high school, working at the music store, write songs – if I have the time –, help Uncle Mitch around the house, sleep, repeat. It’s been a chore. But I just about manage. 

“Please, don’t touch the guitars without a supervisor, ma’am!” I say loudly from across the shop as I catch her hands rising up to pick up one of the acoustic guitars hanging on the wall for display. I rush over to her, dodging clients testing out guitars and pianos I’ve helped before. While the forty-something woman stares at me with an intense glare, I pick up the Gibson guitar for her and hand it over, offering her my fakest smile. “This one’s a nice one!” I tell her as she handles the guitar very clumsily, nearly dropping it. “What do you know about guitars?” she snarls at me. “Well, for starters, I work here, so I’m supposed to have some knowledge about guitars. Secondly, this is a bass guitar. Never just call a bass a guitar.” The woman rolls her eyes and when she casts her gaze on the strings, I roll mine. I’ve had my share of forty-something old women coming in here to buy something for their spoiled little sons, pretending they know more about guitars of any kind, pianos and drums while I have been brought up listening to Uncle Robert talking non-stop about all of his instruments. He taught me how to play each and every one of the instruments and brought me into the world of rock. If he were still here, I wouldn’t be working in a music store, trying to pay for my own apartment or my college tuition. He believed in me from the second he heard me sing and play piano. He still believes in me, I can feel it. Staying with Uncle Mitch – Uncle Robert’s husband, now widower, has been a lot more healing than it would’ve been if I still lived at my parents’. “I know that,” she grumbles, then looks back up at me. “If you know so much about everything, you little know-it-all, why don’t you tell me something more about this one?” I refrain myself from rolling my eyes again, and instead ball up my fists to put all of my anger there. “This is the Les Paul Junior Tribute DC bass. It’s actually a tribute to the historic Gibson EB-0 bass from the late 50's, but with modern features. The short scale length is actually chosen by many for its strong fundamental tone and sits perfectly in a track when recording. The mahogany double cutaway body and maple neck with rosewood fingerboard balances perfectly when playing either sitting or strapped on. It's equipped with a single expanded range LP BassBucker pickup with single volume and tone controls for simplicity. The volume pot has a push-pull feature to coil tap the pickup scooping the mids for further tone shaping possibilities.” I’ve explained this many a times, so it almost sounds as if I’ve learned it by heart. “Oh! And it comes in four different finishes; Worn Ebony, Worn Cherry, Blue Stain and Worn Brown.” The woman looks at me, clearly impressed at my knowledge of the bass in her hands. I’m pretty sure I could’ve told her anything and she would’ve believed me. “I want to speak to the manager,” she then says and pushes the bass guitar back in my hands as if handling a cardboard box. If my reflexes weren’t what they are now, we would’ve had a broken bass and I would be the one that had to pay for it. “What for?” I ask, my anger slipping through into a vicious snarl. “Just because you learn everything by heart, doesn’t mean you’re a good salesperson.” I open my mouth to say something, but I know I can’t win against a Karen. So, instead, I plaster on my best fake smile and say “Of course, give me a second.” I turn on my heel and make my way back to the cash register to get Ash, my manager who’s been nothing but an absolute gem to me. She wasn’t looking for any employees, but still hired me when she saw how desperate I was and how good I was with the instruments. She even lets me write songs after hours. “Karen alert?” Ash asks when she sees my annoyed face, at the brim of exploding. “Yep, at the bass guitars,” I tell her and take her spot to handle a paying costumer. Ash hops over the counter and makes her way to the Karen at the bass guitars. Only for her to leave the store in an angered rush without any bass guitar for her precious son. “That’s 44 dollars and 97 cents, please,” I tell the guy who’d come in for guitar strings, picks and some polish. He looks about my age. Dark hair gelled back, green almond-shaped eyes and rosy cheeks. He hands me the cash with a cute, nervous smile. “Thank you! And here’s the three cents change,” I hold out my hand for him to take the three cents, but he shakes his head. “Keep it,” he winks at me before grabbing his purchases and leaving the store. Leaving me all flustered and blushing. I hate when cute boys come to the shop and have the audacity to do this stuff to me. UGH. “Got rid of our Karen,” Ash tells me, “You can get back out there. I think the little girl over there at the piano could use some of your expertise.” She points to a fourteen-year-old gliding her fingers along the big wing of the white piano in the middle of our store. “Hi,” I say as I approach her, making her jump slightly. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Emily. Can I help you?” She scans my face for a moment, as if assessing whether or not I’m trustworthy. I guess she decides she does when she opens her mouth and four simple words flow out of it. “Do you play piano?” I’m a bit taken aback by the question. None of the costumers have ever asked me that question. “Yes, I do, actually,” I reply honestly. “I want to learn how to play the piano, but my mother doesn’t allow me. Says it’s too expensive. The piano, that is. And lessons are expensive too, she says.” She stops talking for a moment as if thinking about what to say next. “Will you teach me?” “Oh,” I manage to bring out, “I—we don’t really offer any piano lessons in the store. We just sell them.” Her eyes water and she visibly swallows a lump in her throat. “Okay…” she whimpers, making my heart break just that bit more. “Will you play me a song though? I love hearing people play.” I take a deep breath as I think about how to turn this girl down. But then I remember my parents turning me and my dreams down. “Sure, I can play you a song. Any requests?” I ask as I sit down on the stool in front of us, patting beside me to invite her too. “Surprise me,” she says, shaking her head with a big smile on her face. I carefully touch the keys as I think of a song to sing. Once I’ve figured that out, I begin to play the right melody and then chime in with the lyrics I’d written with Uncle Robert when he was still alive. The song I cherish the most and wouldn’t share with anyone. But this girl reminds me too much of myself, and I think she might take something from the message. “Here's the one thing I want you to know You got someplace to go Life's a test, yes But you go toe to toe You don't give up, no, you grow.” The girl looks up at me with big Bambi eyes, urging me to continue. “And you use your pain Cause it makes you you Though I wish I could hold you through it I know it's not the same You got living to do And I just want you to do it So get up, get out, relight that spark You know the rest by heart” As I begin the chorus, I hear drums backing me up from somewhere inside the store, and when I look around, I find Ash behind a drum set with a smile on her face as she helps me out a little. “Wake up, wake up, if it's all you do Look out, look inside of you It's not what you lost, it's what you'll gain Raising your voice to the rain Wake up your dream and make it true Look out, look inside of you It's not what you lost Relight that spark Time to come out of the dark Wake up, wake up” By now, Ash and I have gained an audience. Most of the costumers in line don’t even mind having to wait to pay until we’re done with this outburst of ours. “Better wake those demons, just look them in the eye No reason not to try Life can be a mess, I won't let it cloud my mind I'll let my fingers fly” The girl next to me still has the same expression on her face. Eyes pooled with admiration and inspiration. Exactly the reason why I make music and why it’s been a dream of mine to make a career out of it. “And I use the pain 'cause it's part of me And I'm ready to power through it Gonna find the strength, find the melody 'Cause you showed me how to do it Get up, get out, relight that spark You know the rest by heart” I go for the chorus again, and then pop in with the bridge. The one I added to uncle’s song. The costumers in the store stare at Ash and me with smiles on their faces whilst swaying along to the song. “So wake that spirit, spirit I wanna hear it, hear it No need to fear it, you're not alone You're gonna find your way home” I close my eyes as I hit that high note, then stop playing for a second whilst starting the chorus for the last time. Even Ash backs me up with some backing vocals after having heard the chorus a couple of times already. “Wake up, wake up, if it's all you do” The both of us pick up the melody again, putting more power behind the rest of the song. “Look out, look inside of you It's not what you lost, it's what you'll gain Raising your voice to the rain Wake up your dream and make it true Look out, look inside of you When you're feeling lost Relight that spark Time to come out of the dark Wake up, wake up” I hit the last couple of notes on the piano before a roar of applause and cheers fills up the entire store. The fourteen-year-old beside me is clapping the loudest of them all. Her eyes still wide and admiring and full of life. “What’s your name?” I ask the girl, causing her to stop clapping. “Kayla,” she replies. “Listen to me, Kayla. Even if your parents don’t agree with your big dreams, please, never give up on your dream! If this is really what you want to do, go for it. You’ll find a way, I promise you.” A tear rolls down her pink cheek as her bottom lip trembles slightly. “Don’t give up, okay?” She nods her head vigorously. “Thank you, Emily!” she wraps her arms around me into a tight hug before hopping off the stool and rushing out the store. As I watch her run out, my eyes land on a guy. Somewhat my age, I think. I can’t really function for a second as his hazel eyes stare at me and with his mouth curled up on one side. When I finally manage to move again, my eyes scan him entirely. His brown hair sticks out from underneath an orange beanie, his nose fine and cheekbones defined. He’s wearing a flannel shirt over a grey muscle tank and ripped black jeans. I give him an awkward smile before heading back to the cash register. “Can you do register for a moment? I need to check something in stock,” Ash asks me, and I simply nod before helping the next costumer. After the fifth costumer, the boy who’d been staring at me before shows up in front of me. “How can I help?” I ask with my best customer service-smile. “By giving your number,” he replies coyly. I was going to give him the cute boy card until those words came out of his mouth. “Sorry, my number ain’t for sale,” I reply and look behind him, “Next!” “Oh, no, sorry! Uhm, I don’t mean it like that, I—” Before he can mutter another word, I interrupt him. “Are you going to purchase something, bro?” He opens his mouth, then closes it again, looking like a goldfish. “Uhm… No… I just—” I interrupt him again. “Next customer, please,” I stare at him intensely, hoping that’d chase him away. He knocks on the counter before moving away, clearly defeated by the rejection. I can’t believe douchebags like him still exists in this generation. People need to learn manners. “Hi, how can I help you?” I ask the next customer, bringing back my best smile. Just got to move on, just as I moved on from dealing with a Karen again today. Best way to do that, is focus on all the other customers. For the rest of my shift, I have not been able to shake the cute-but-rude guy from before. There’s something about him that haunts me still and I can’t seem to figure out what it is. Not even when I’m focusing on cleaning up the store. As I’m dusting the piano, I hear the bell above the door ring. “Sorry, we’re closed!” I yell without looking up from the piano. “Are you going to play again?” The voice sends shivers down my spine as it takes me right back to that one douchey line it uttered just a mere hour before. “Again, we are closed, sorry.” This time it comes out more like a snarl and with a bit of poison. The boy in front of me chuckles and holds his hands up in defeat. “Listen, I’m sorry about before, but—” he steps closer to me, but I hold up my finger to make him stop, and it seems to help as he simply freezes in place. “But the store is closed. Goodbye now.” I go back to dusting off the piano and wait for the bell to ring again, but it doesn’t. Instead, the sound of guitar strums reaches my ears. “You can’t touch any of the guitars without supervision,” I tell him sternly, but when I meet his eyes and they’re looking at me intently as if urging me to do something. “You’re supervising me, aren’t you?” he asks cockily, still stroking the strings, creating a beautiful melody that fills up my head. “What do you want?” I ask bitterly, looking at him again, and hoping it would make him leave faster. “For you to sing.” “Sing what?” He shrugs, leaving me to wonder what he means by that. “I have a lot of work to do, dude. Please, leave,” I sound pathetic, nearly begging him to leave. I’m only a step away from begging on my knees. The sound of the guitar abruptly stops when I go back to cleaning the piano. “Listen, I just wanted to tell you that what you did earlier today was amazing. You know, not a lot of people have the power you have. Did you see what you did to all those people in here? Imagine doing that for thousands of people! Have you ever thought of that?” I turn to look at him, suddenly having the urge to tell him everything. Then I remember what a douchebag he really is. “I don’t have time for this. Please. Leave!” I shout at him before heading towards the cash register to start counting the money. It’s silent for a while until the bell over the door breaks it. I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. This boy did something to me without me even realizing it. Nope. Can’t trust boys. They don’t do anything but break hearts and be douchebags. But this one somehow seemed different. No other boy has ever left such an impression as he did. And I didn’t even have a proper conversation with him. I just hope I don’t have to see him. Like ever again.  

[missmitchieg]

Pretty Boys & Pretty Polish

Reggie smiled as he grabbed his eyeliner pencil and started his now familiar process of putting on his make up while Julie did her hair, rambling about some memory that came to him in the middle of the night. “Yeah, we did. And we’re halfway through our second song when this cute girl smiled at me and I just couldn’t resist showing off my bass playing just a little but I guess I was getting too rowdy because Luke gave me this look that said ‘chill before we get kicked out’ so I had to dial it back for the rest of the ambush gig, but I still got her number. Never got to call her, though. It was only two days before The Street Dog Incident.“

“That sucks, dude.“ Julie said as she combed through a knot in her curls, wincing when it actually hurt to comb through. “Maybe you’ll find yourself a cute.. Ow. Cute ghost girlfriend- or boyfriend- in the afterlife, though.“ She smiled, trying to be encouraging. “I mean, you never- ow- never know. Good things come to those who wait all the time.“ She said, sighing in relief as she finally got the knot out. “You just gotta manifest it. OH, by the way, Nick is coming over today and we’re gonna paint each other’s nails.“

“Oh, he’s cool.“ Reggie grinned, fixing a tuft of his hair that was laying weird. “You two have gotten close in the last few weeks. Poor Luke is getting, like, super-duper crazy stupid jealous of you two.“ He laughed, making Julie roll her eyes and cross her arms. “Reggie! Luke and I, and Nick and I, are just friends. And Luke knows there’s nothing between Nick and I. My crush on him is totally gone.“ She told him, going back to braiding her hair. “Yeah. Because now you’re crushing big time on Luke.“ Reggie said simply and crossed his own arms, giving her a look.

“Dude!“ Julie laughed, hiding her face in her hands. “Ok, yeah. What about you and your thing for Nick?“ She pointed out and gave him a look, watching him splutter and struggle for a rebuttal. “You and your ‘Nick is pretty cute, I see why you liked him forever’ and ‘Nick has nice hair and a nice smile’ and all that. You totally have a crush on him, Reginald.“ She teased, smirking at him. “He does like boys, you know.“ She mentioned, double checking that her eyeliner looked good in her mirror. “He told me so yesterday.“

“Wait, really?“ Reggie asked quickly before he could stop himself and blushed, slumping his shoulders when Julie laughed. “Ok, so maybe I do kind of like him, and he likes boys. That doesn’t mean he likes me or will like me. Not every cutie with nice hair will fall for a ghost.“ He said, fidgeting with his flannel. “He also told me, and I quote, ‘that bassist of yours has pretty eyes and his bass playing and harmonies, oh, my god’, so there’s that.“ She said, perking up when she heard the doorbell ring.

“That’s him. I’ll get it, dad!” Julie called and ran downstairs to welcome Nick into the house. “Hey, Nick!“ She grinned and hugged him, pulling him toward her bedroom. “So you having a good day so far, Danforth-Evans?” She asked and sat on her bed next to Reggie. “Can’t complain. Dads made cinnamon toast for breakfast and my sister drew me this picture of us, so that was pretty cool. And you, Molina? Written any new phantom jams with your boys?“ Nick asked with an excited grin, always happy to hear about his new favorite band.

“Yes, we have. A few, actually. And a half-written song I haven’t showed the boys yet.“ Julie admitted quietly, laughing when she saw the look Reggie was giving her. “Oh, my bassist Reggie’s here, by the way.“ She told Nick, still giggling a little as she got up and started to sift through her nail polish collection. She had told Nick, after consulting the boys, the truth about them being ghosts a week ago, deciding pretty quickly that it would just be too hard and too weird to keep up the hologram thing with him.

“Your bassist? That’s th-the cute one with the eyeliner?“ Nick asked quickly, blushing when he realized he definitely just said that out loud and Reggie definitely heard it. Julie snorted and slapped a hand over her mouth, laughing softly. “Y-yes, the cute one with the eyeliner. He likes to hang out in my room when he’s not with my dad or when we’re practicing or playing a gig,“ She told him, smirking at Reggie. “He says cool socks, by the way.“ Julie said, admiring Nick’s bisexual pride colored socks.

“OH. Um. Thank you.“ Nick smiled sweetly in the direction Julie was staring at, biting his lip when she giggled. “Oh, my god. His smile is so cute. He’s so cute. Why is he so cute? And he thinks I’m cute! Oh, my god, Julie!“ Reggie rambled, his eyes going wide and cheeks going red. “Wait. No, no, no. Don’t tell him I said any of that!“ Julie bit her lip and glanced between Reggie and Nick a couple times, shaking her head fondly at them.

“Reggie says that you’re totally welcome to sit in on a Julie and The Phantoms band practice whenever you’re in the mood for it.“ She decided to say instead, picking up a bottle of purple nail polish for herself and letting Nick pick out his color. “Now, onto what you came here for in the first place. Nail polish. What color do you want?“

“This teal one.“ Nick decided and grabbed a shimmery teal nail polish that would compliment Reggie’s eyes nicely, watching Julie put the rest of her collection back. “Pretty choice. That color would look really good on-“ Julie looked up from the bottle she’d just opened and pointed the cap in Reggie’s direction, making him stop giving Nick heart eyes and look at her. “Reg, you wanna try it on?“ She asked as she started on prettying Nick’s nails. “Yeah, it would look good.“ Nick said, giving Reggie an encouraging smile.

Reggie looked at Nick and scratched the back of his head, shrugging after a minute. “Sure, why not?“ He said and sat next to Julie, watching her paint Nick’s nails like a pro. “You’re really good at that, Jules.“ He mumbled, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket. “I should be. I’ve been painting mine and Flynn’s nails for years and I used to paint Carrie’s, too.“ She told Reggie, not even looking up from Nick’s nails. “Remind me why Flynn’s not here, by the way.“

“Because Flynn’s parents think she ‘spends too much time with Julie and that weird hologram band of hers’ and she needs some quality time with her real family.“ Julie shrugged, shaking her head. “Clearly her parents have lost their minds because there is no such thing as spending too much time with your best friends.“ She said simply and Reggie and Nick both nodded in agreement.

Julie rolled her eyes and finished Nick’s right hand, moving on to his left. “Maybe another day, we can all hang together with Flynn, though. We could do each other’s nails again or do face masks, or make up. Ooh! Oh, Reginald, you have to let me do your make up one of these days.“ She told him, momentarily pausing painting Nick’s nails to give Reggie her puppy dog face. “Please, Reg? It would be so fun and you would look killer in some red lipstick.“

“Hey, hey. Focus on the task at hand here.“ Reggie said, laughing at his own pun. “I’m not saying no, though. If you say I’d look good in red, I’ll try it out.“ He said, leaning his head against her shoulder. “Maybe I can even strong arm Luke, Alex and Willie into joining in for that.“ He suggested, giving her a grin. “Oh, I love the way you think, Reg. Oh, wait. Nick, you haven’t semi-met my drummer’s boyfriend yet! Oh, dude. Willie’s awesome. He skateboards in Justin Bieber’s pool.“

“Don’t forget yelling in museums and knowing some famous peoples’ cause of death.“ Reggie reminded her, smiling at how happy Nick was looking at them. “Oh, right. And he taught Alex a very effective coping mechanism for anxiety: yelling in museums.“ Julie snickered. “Hey, if it works, it works.“ Nick and Reggie said at the same time, making Reggie blush and hide his face in Julie’s curls even though Nick couldn’t see him blush.

“Oh, now you two are speaking at the same time. You two are adorable.“ Julie teased them and laughed fondly, putting a hand over her mouth when Nick covered his face with his already dry hand. “Molina...“ He dragged out, shaking his head. “Wait, what do you mean?“ He asked, watching her curiously. “All I’m gonna say is you think Reggie’s cute and Reggie thinks you’re cute, too.“ She said as she finished up Nick’s hand and shuffled so she could comfortably hold Reggie’s hands in her lap to paint them.

“Reggie thi- I- Really?“ Nick asked shyly as he looked at where Reggie was sitting in front of Julie, biting his lip. “DUDE.“ Julie laughed at Reggie as she started to paint his nails, nodding her head quickly. “I remember Reg saying something about you having nice eyes and a nice smile. And he got super excited when I told him you were coming over today.“ She said, winking and smirking at Reggie. “I thought it was really sweet.“ She shrugged, glancing at Nick.

“He said to me, and I quote, ‘Nick is pretty cute, I can see why you liked him forever’ when I told him I had a crush on you for a long time. It’s totally gone now, though. No worries.“ She assured him, glaring at Reggie and daring him to say Luke’s name. Reggie quirked an eyebrow, scoffing at her. “Yeah, because like I said, you’re crushing on your guitarist.“ He said again, looking up at Nick.

“Reggie, stop butting into me and Luke’s not love life for five minutes, please. And tell Alex and Willie to do the same. You’re all making me crazy.“ Julie begged, smiling. “He’s giving you heart eyes, by the way.“ She said to Nick, painting Reggie’s nails like she hadn’t said anything while Nick and Reggie both blushed. “I never thought I would have a crush on a guy in a mostly ghostly band, you know.“ Nick said, admiring Julie’s work.

“Yeah, I’m sure you didn’t!“ Julie laughed, grinning at them. “Jules didn’t, either. You two could form a club.“ Reggie joked, biting his lip. Julie looked between them both again and smiled, finishing the last finger on Reggie’s right hand and moving on to his left. “So will we see you at practice tomorrow?“ She asked Nick, her and Reggie both looking at Nick curiously.

“Yes. Definitely. I wanna see my cute ghost crush in action more often.“ Nick nodded instantly, still a little embarrassed that Julie exposed his crush like that but more confident knowing his crush was at least mutual. “I just wish I could still see you and hear you when you’re not performing anymore, Reggie.“ He said softly, smiling at him. “Because you’re, like, really, really cute and I like your voice. A lot.“ He smiled, lowering his gaze and blushing.

“And I wish I could take you on a dinner date or something.“ He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, sitting in on band practices and standing in the front row at gigs is still cool and fun, but I like the idea of taking you to the movies or something, too.“ He said, looking at Julie to tell him if Reggie said anything.

“Umm... Nick, I think you broke my bassist with your compliments. He just blushed red and all he said was ‘oh, my god, he likes my voice’.“ Julie said, finishing up Reggie’s nails and capping the polish bottle. “Oh, he just said he likes your voice, too. And he wishes he wasn’t made of air so he could hug you and kiss you.“ She grinned at the love birds, deciding she could just paint her own nails while helping Nick and Reggie talk things out.

“So. So does this mean I get to call you my boyfriend, Reggie?“ Nick asked hopefully and smiled, clasping his hands together. “Because I really, really like you and I know that you’re... Dead. You’re a ghost. And I know I just said I really want to, but I don’t care that I can’t hug you or kiss you or take you out on a “normal” date. We can still do other things like practice and gigs and we can write notes for each other, or something. All I know right now is that I like you and I want to date you.“

Reggie stared wide eyed at Nick as he spoke, his smile widening with every word out of his mouth. Nick wanted to date him. Even with all of the weird complications and complexities of him being a ghost, he still wanted to date him. Oh, this was up there in the Top Ten Best Days of Reggie’s afterlife. “Yes! Oh, my god! Yes, Nick! I want to be with you, too, baby!“ He said quickly and nodded, looking at Julie to tell Nick.

Julie grinned as she listened to Reggie, turning to Nick. “Reggie says he would absolutely love to date you, Nick.“ She said, giggling when Reggie shook her shoulder. “Jules! Julie, kiss him for me. I can’t. Can you kiss my boyfriend for me?“  Reggie begged, smiling at her.

Julie laughed and nodded, turning to Nick with a grin. “Hey, your boyfriend wants me to give you this since he can’t do it himself.“ She said and gave him a peck on the cheek, feeling weird about giving him a kiss on the lips since her crush on him was gone and seeing as he was Reggie’s boy now. “You two are already so adorable together.“ She smiled, watching Reggie give Nick heart eyes and Nick give the air where Reggie was sitting heart eyes.

“I think this is the start of something beautiful, boys.“ She said as she finished painting her nails and put the polish bottles away, turning back to the boys to see that Reggie had scooted closer to Nick and almost had an arm around him. She smiled silently and sat next to them, relaying everything Reggie said (with a few things left out by request) back to Nick for the rest of the day.

“Well, I better get home soon. Dads are making pasta for dinner.“ Nick said after a few hours and got up, hugging Julie good bye. “See you at school, Molina. Bye, Reggie.“ He said dreamily and blew a kiss in Reggie’s direction, making him blush. “Bye, Nick.“ He said sweetly and waved, watching him leave. He sighed happily and fell back on Julie’s bed with a love struck look in his eyes, biting his lip. Oh, yes. This was definitely up there in the Top Ten Best Days of Reggie’s afterlife.