#but like.... the homophobic dog meme is hilarious to me

[vivienna-vivid]

Common Isami Kondo L moment (Context below)

(From shinsengumi-archives)

[tobystrugglestolisten]

feel like yellow would be less like “but it’s man & woman?? :((” And more like “show me the difference ‘,:/”

Honestly, I don't think he'll even question it. I mean, maybe after the whole baby pigeon episode where they brainwashed him, but it's up to debate.

But at the time I looked at a lot of homophobic dog memes and just couldn't control myself.

They're hilarious when used ironically.

[shititbe]

Anyway, HSM2 is about internalized homophobia, and no one can tell me otherwise.

High School Musical is one of the most beloved franchises in the world. Teenagers all over the world grew up watching Troy and Gabriella harmonize together. Three movies, and nearly a decade later it’s still beloved by all. The first film easily forgotten in the ashes of the early 2000’s, the third film stuck in a purgatorial limbo of the rather unfortunate late 2000’s. The second film on the other hand sticks out between the ruckus. 

The second High School Musical film takes place at Sharpay and Ryan’s family country club, during the summer between junior and senior year. The Wildcats are working summer jobs on the country club, often forced to the beck and call of Ryan and Sharpay themselves. Sharpay uses all her prestige to help Troy with college instead of starting at the bottom ( or rather, in the kitchen washing dishes) with his friends. In the time she’s helping Troy, she is also pushing her brother away; replacing him with Troy in their musical number for the talent show, and refusing to hang out with him in preference for Troy. Ryan becomes vengeful to his twin and starts hanging around the Wildcats in the kitchen. At first, he was met with some distasteful looks and words (most of which from Chad). With the help of Kelsey, and her neutral party, Ryan fits in smoothly with the other teenagers, eventually giving the WildCats all dance lessons.

 Throughout the movie, the main conflict continues to be the internal conflict of Troy Bolton. He debates over and over again if he should go through with Sharpay’s shenanigans, or if he wants to “listen to my own heart.”  This of course involves Gabriella, as she is Troy’s love interest. She’s not in the second film except for the beginning, then, where she leaves in the middle of the film - in order to create angst for Troy - then when she shows up again in the finally to sing/rejoin Troy. 

The conflict in the second film  is the combining of Troy’s two worlds. His first - his main world in the first movie, that hence became his secondary world - which is represented by Chad. Then his secondary world - which becomes his main world in this movie - which is represented by Ryan. Chad represents Troy’s masculinity, or his more idealized version of himself. Ryan represents Troy’s femininity or his current version of reality. These two worlds collide in the iconic song “I don’t dance”.  

Since this movie - and hence this scene - came out in the early 2000’s, a lot of the innuendoes went over people's heads. Luckily, as the children who watched this movie grew older and more experienced, and the world became more accepting, we’re able to see this song for what it is. 

Before getting into the lore and symbolism of the iconic “I Don’t Dance” sequence, context is needed. For most of human history, homosexuality was seen as a sin in all places except ancient times (see: Greece and Japan). The modern age is the most accepting on all fronts, such as sexual orientation, race, and religion. In the early 2000’s, High School Musical director Kenny Ortega was not publicialy out yet. He wouldn’t be till 2014. 

Originally, while writing this, my first thought was  that Kenny - the director - would be using Troy as a y/n type character to project his insecurities and struggles with masculinity, and what that means in defining his orientation and societal views that would be placed upon him. Then, it came to me later that this is in fact not the case, Troy (and Gabriella - who is in fact a y/n character for the female audience) is more of a character for a man of his time, confused with his own ideals of masculinity and the views of society because, “oh god, I can’t like theater/drama because only queer people and girls like it!” The second point is pushed further with the Troy and Sharpay sub-plot. Sharpay tries to further Troy’s career as a basketball player, though that’s not what he wants anymore, and Troy is no longer sure if that is what he ever wanted to begin with (enter the song “Bet on it” and the hilarious meme “no dad, I’m giving up on your dream”). 

Keeping these things in mind - Kenney’s queerness, and Troy’s struggle to realize you can in fact sing and be a heterosexual, wow, revolutionary - it became clear to me that Kenney’s y/n characters were Ryan and Chad. 

For those who aren’t into the arts, or find them too difficult after a singular attempt thinking they could write a world class novel on the first go, let me be the first to tell you every author has a y/n character. First, for those who don’t know what y/n stands for, it’s a popular fanfiction trope where a writer will write a story about a character dating, being friends, and so on, with the reader. The y/n stands for “your name” so anyone can be the main character in this story at any time. For a writer of mainstream fictional work, such as High School Musical, Game Of Thrones, Lord Of The Rings, Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, even most comics. Now, most writers or directors aren’t going to be as obvious as having a character not named (or named y/n) or even named Jane (looking at you Jane Austin), the y/n character of many mainstream authors/directors/comic artists and so on is usually the character they feel or have given the most attributes similar to themselves. 

It’s the same reason people have favourite characters. You see a fictional character and you either 1. Want to Bob the Builder them, 2. Some sort of weird sex thing, or 3. See more/the most of yourself in this character. Number three - thankfully - is usually the main reason. Some people just create their own favourite characters. An even easier way to think about this, is just projection baby, that’s psych 101.   

Before I went off on a small tangent of fictional works and how human emotion plays into creating them (except anything Disney has made in the past decade, and no you can’t change my mind on that) I mentioned that Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s y/n characters. As a queer person myself, it’s clear for me to see the different struggles each of these characters face and how these reflect the queer experience. 

So, let’s finally get into it. 

Ryan, without it being explicitly said is clearly a character of what people in the early 2000s think a gay man is. He is effeminate, wearing bright coloured outfits with lots of accessories - namely his signature hats - he is also in the theater department doing musicals, and passive/subservient to any of his twin sisters' wills. Yes, now we know gay men aren’t just feminized men, but in the early 2000’s a gay man who can do "masculine" things like change their car oil, like sports, and so on, break the "effeminate" stereotype thus confused many cishet people. Sharpay is painted as more confident - or, for sake of comparability - masculine to her twin in the first movie, and most of the second movie. Making Ryan a bit of her dog who would do anything to get by - painting Ryan as lesser than human, once more, playing into the homophobia of the early 2000's.     

Despite the clear stereotypes playing into his character, Ryan is consistently one of the most confident characters in the movie. The other, being his sister of course. This confidence in himself is what gravitates the other characters towards him, either by being intimidated (Troy, thinking Ryan and Gabriella were a thing), or admiration (Chad, by the end of “I don’t dance”). 

Chad, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. While he is confident in the first movie, and the first portion of the second movie, he begins to break more and more when Ryan becomes a more integral part of the Wildcat group. To keep in mind, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste for Troy’s artistic past-time. When the other Wildcats join Ryan and begin learning how to dance for the talent show at the end of the movie, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste. The baseball game where “I don’t dance” takes place, is the climax of Chad’s arc and his turn towards acceptance to Ryan/Troy’s hobbies. 

Of course, there is more to the “I don’t dance” sequence than just Chad’s realization - the exact one Troy comes to terms with in the second movie as well - of “oh my god I don’t have to be gay to enjoy stereotypical ‘feminine’ things.” That is the main part of the song though, that and all the sexual tension. 

Going back to what I’ve stated previously, Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s projection or y/n characters. Let me do a small recap before we get into the nitty gritty of the famous “I don’t dance” video. 

Thinking back to the first few paragraphs, I stated that Kenney wasn’t publicly out till 2014, about 7 years after the second movie came out. This could be due to the fact that a) it’s the early 2000’s and everyones still very homophobic, or b) self-doubt that comes with the queer experience. The most likely reason is a mixture of both of these. Because of this, Ryan is the more self-assured version, or idealized version of Kenney that he wants to be. Ryan is confident, never being swayed about his lifestyle (could be read as: sexuality) even though Chad - and most of the wildcats in the first movie - put him through relentless “teasing” and humiliation. He’s confident, almost to a fault, he’s sure of himself, and yet still reaches out a hand to Chad and the other wildcats to show them that they’re just being, kinda dick-ish. 

Every queer person wants to be Ryan. Despite his heavily stereotyped characterization, I personally believe he is one of the stronger written characters in the movies, mainly due to Kenney putting the time in to really make Ryan feel like a real person, to give himself some sort of relief of his own anxieties, a chance to see the world through a person who truly has no fear. Unlike Kenney himself. 

This is where Chad comes in. 

Chad is seen as “confident” in the first movie, the second Troy “leaves” basketball though, all that confidence comes crashing down. His best friend has another hobby - one he thinks is “not right” (it’s okay, you can say gay), - they wont be spending all their time together (first, can you say dependent relationship much, yikes).Chad’s defining characteristic up until their fight that instigate act three of the second movie, is being Troy’s best friend. I’m going to take this as if this were truly the case, and not a decently written character arch. Some people base themselves around their friends and their whole identity on being a friend, that they lose sight of themselves, this mainly in high school of course, when your whole world is really nothing but school, and friends. Newly developed independence is there, but that’s scary, so instead of worrying about the future, cling to something that’s reliable. I’ve seen this happen, mainly at the end of high school, when the “real world” is coming a bit too close for comfort. This could generally be the case if a person is lonely, but for timeline sake I’m going to say Chad has got some anxiety about graduating (considering the second movie takes place the summer of junior year). 

His lashing out at Troy’s hobbies and at Troy’s neglectful friendship, make more sense with that background, and are seen more in the second movie where Troy begins spending all his spare time with Sharpay (trying to collect that BAG!). Chad - and others (read: father) - insists that music is not a feasible career option, and Troy should just stick with basketball (like...that is a feasible career option). The tension Chad creates in the studio only grows when the other wildcats decide to take up Ryan’s offer for dance lessons and move from the kitchen, to helping out with the talent show. (Next essay idea: how high school musical two was really about class all along, cause Jesus). 

 Chad is the less obvious option for a y/n character. Though again, the 2000’s were not as cool people like to pretend they are. Chad - for Kenney - represents what he actually feels, this fear of being rejected for how he is and how he chooses to live his life/lifestyle, so he sticks to something reliable. Ryan is new, and exciting, and confident in a way that Kenney/Chad wish they could be, but in order for that to happen they need to understand that maybe people are complex creatures, and can enjoy multiple hobbies (aka: the same lesson Troy is teaching the viewers, but far less boring). But, for Kenney/Chad facing that thought and that realization is scary, and thus, they lash out at anyone (read this paragraph as: Chad mad jealous of Ryan cause Ryan bomb as fuck). 

All this build up, finally comes ahead in the employee baseball match 

                                                       ******

The baseball game is probably the most memorable scene in the whole High School Musical franchise (minus Sharpay’s “Fabulous” solo, but that’s also from the same movie, and it’s kinda rude to give what’s already the best more points); the tension in the scene, and what it implies makes it the best written segment of all three movies, let alone the most entertaining. 

Some things to keep in mind from our background information: Chad is missing his bestie and struggling with what being “masculine” really means for him and others. Ryan of course makes this confusing, because the traditional method is being thrown out the window. In short, Chad has internalized homophobia, and Ryan being open - or as open as Disney would let him - is causing all sorts of problems. 

Despite the song, “I don’t dance” being logged into our collective skulls for all eternity (you’re probably humming it right now, sorry about that), the very brief interaction of Ryan and Chad before the game is lost on the public consciousness. The two are clearly comfortable with each other, though the distaste seems to be on Chad’s side more than Ryans. So, the two start playfully jabbing at each other before deciding to do a bat toss to see who will be in the outfield first. 

Before they begin the bat toss, Ryan says “You don’t think dancing takes some game?” Chad then very clearly checks him out, doing a simple but effective ‘drag-your-eyes-over-them-top-to-bottom-then-smile’ and says “you got game?” (Seen in gif below) 

I don’t know how much you know about sex metaphors and how many of those baseball has in it (seriously though, it’s a lot), but with the bat toss, Ryan’s hand ended up on top, and Chad’s under Ryan’s. Let’s ignore this for now, it’ll be implied again later. Ryan’s team starts out in the outfield because he won the bat toss, and hence, the song officially starts. 

The first lyrics (ignoring the chores of “hey batter batter, hey batter batter, swing”) is 

I'll show you that it's one and the same

Baseball, dancing, same game

It's easy

Step up to the place, start swingin  

This part is sung by Ryan, who is taunting Chad out in the outfield. Before the game, as stated, Chad was taunting Ryan about his lack of “game” (both sexual and not sexual metaphor are implied), and now, Ryan has turned those tables around. Baseball - is seen as more masculine than dancing, not as masculine as football or basketball, but it’s up there. Chad is someone who cares about his masculinity, enough to the point that Ryan playing baseball makes him loose his mind. Makes him question his own personal definition of masculinity, if you will. 

Ryan says, “baseball, dancing, same game,” impyling that, to him, baseball and dancing are one and the same. That is baffling to Chad, cause well, how can something meant for girls even be close to something meant for boys. 

Chad comes back with: 

 I wanna play ball now, and that's all

This is what I do

It ain't no dance that you can show me, yeah

This only proves my previous point. 

I had a conversation with myself about this, and I’ve decided not to include it in this essay, but a second essay may or may not be possible. Basically the premise - the dancing/”musical” moments of High School Musical are conjured up images by those meant to see them (ie: like a visual hallucination, but, not really) but this scene kinda poo-poos that idea. 

Now, the thing I am talking about is Ryan and Chad’s  peacocking at each other during the time they sing these lyrics. The movements they’re making could be mistaken for dancing - as we automatically assume it is because of the title and themes of the movie - or it could be them just getting ready for the baseball game. Ryan swings his leg over the pitcher's mound, tossing the ball up and down into his glove, making wavy hand gestures, etc. Chad brushes off his gloves, swings his legs, hits the bat on each foot, and so on. 

For the peacocking, Chad makes a mock of the ballerina foot stance before strutting over to the home plate. Ryan laughs at this, which earns quite the smirk from Chad himself (see gif below). 

This is when it becomes a conversation.   

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch

Come on - Ch

When Chad says “Come on” it’s when Ryan throws the baseball at him, starting the game, and giving Chad’s team their first strike of the game (get it, it’s funny). Now, obviously we need to talk about the “there’s just one little thing that stops me every time.” As a queer person, I assure you, two of the things that kept me from living my Best Life were 1) my own ignorance of what asexuality was and 2) the fear that everyone I love would hate me for who I am, and what I have no control over. 

Sorry to get deep like that on main, but, can any other queer person say different? Obviously, your first point may differ, but my point still stands. In the video/scene there is a very short moment (to which I have condensed into a gif for you all, you’re welcome, and I’m sorry about the quality in advance), of the camera moving over to Chad’s team (or his friends in this case since it’s an employee baseball game) as he says this line (gif below). 

I will not be explaining the use of subtly in this essay, but I’m sure you get the metaphor Kenney is trying to use. If not, let me spell it out for you in very simple words. This song has a lot of sexual innuendos (as mentioned pervious with the baseball bat scene and still, more to come), with that in mind, and clearly queer themes at play (as mentioned before, again), this scene only shows Chad isn’t as straight as he leads on. His fear/phobia of Ryan/the arts come from a much deeper place. 

In shorter, and much simpler terms: Chad queer. 

But, let’s get back to the boy's conversation. 

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R 

Not a chance, no - Ch 

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R 

Translation: “If I can do this weird, sweaty, dirty, Male thing without blowing a fuse, you can and should be able to dance just fine.” 

But I don't dance - Ch 

Hit it out of the park - Both 

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both

I don't dance, no - Ch  (This is just the chores, you’ll see it multiple times throughout the essay, I just figured if the song is going to be in your head, go all the way right). 

Two-steppin, now you're up to bat - R

Bases loaded, do your dance - R 

Here we are with the baseball metaphors you’ve all been waiting for ladies and gentlemen. Girls, gays, and non-binary pals. For those who have somehow managed a sheltered existence with access to the internet, lemme help you. Ryan is talking about “loaded bases” both in the context of the game (where it shows each base has one person from Chad’s team on them) and in the term of sex. While you go out there dating - while it’s mostly douche bags and people using it ironically - your nosey friends may ask you how far you got. 

“First, second, or third base?” They may ask. Or something like, “oh wow, did you get to home plate/base?” These are simply the rankings of the stages of a sexual relationship. First - kissing, sometimes just handholding, Second - making out, some light groping, Third - full on groping, no clothes come off, but it gets close. While each person has different boundaries, these are the general accepted definitions for the bases. 

Home base is obviously full blown sexual intercourse. Since Chad has his “bases loaded” it means he’s done all these things before, just never gone completely to sexual intercourse with someone - in the terms of the song and the history we’ve already established, it’s most likely a male character. This is only proven by Chad’s uncomfortable nature towards Ryan (internalized Homophobia, thank you, returning theme) but his easy, and cocky personality towards everyone else. “bUt thAt DoEsnT pRovE” hush, that’s the final cherry on top. Remember this conversation. 

It's easy - R  

Again. Previous points have been made.  

Take your best shot, just hit it - Ch 

I've got what it takes, playin my game - Ch

So you better spin that pitch - Ch 

You're gonna throw me, yeah - Ch 

I'll show you how I swing - Ch

Ah, the famous “I’ll show you how i swing” a very strong baseball metaphor for everyone. Keeps queer people from defining themselves to dangerous (straight) people, and, well, that’s it actually. This term is mostly used by bi/pan people, though if you want to stay in the closet or are in a dangerous place, it is also used to subtly tell other queer people you are in fact, not straight. My favourite is when this term came into play when President Buchanan got elected in 1856 (for those that don’t know, he’s the first and only gay president). 

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R 

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch 

This is again, the same lyric as before it doesn’t pan, and the tone is much different. The camera stays on Chad as he says this line, meaning he’s reflecting, he is now his own problem, the person that is keeping him back. His friends are not on his mind anymore, which is good, Ryan’s Gay Propaganda has been working. 

Come on - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R

Not a chance, no, no - Ch

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R

But I don't dance - Ch

Hit it out of the park - R

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh no - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both 

I don't dance, no - Ch

Lean back, tuck it in, take a chance - R

Swing it out, spin around, do the dance - R

I wanna play ball, not dance hall - Ch

I'm makin a triple, not a curtain cal - Chl

I can prove it to you til you know it's true - R

'Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too - R

You're talkin a lot, show me what you got - Ch

Again, like the beginning of this song, this is a heavy base for flirting and sexual tension, which this song is drowning in. 

Stop swinging - both

Hey - both

This is the part where they all start a flash mob in the middle of the baseball diamond. Again, alluding to the conversation I had to myself earlier, this only proves my own theory as no one takes notice of this. But, that’s not this essay, this is where I mention how close Chad and Ryan are at the end of the group dance.  

Come on, swing it like this - both

Oh, swing - both

Jitterbug, just like that - both

That's what I mean, that's how you swing - both

You make a good pitch but I don't believe - both 

Here is yet another (and the final) sexual innuendo. This is actually a rather quick one. Pitching in queer culture is considered the person who tops (because queer people even had to straight-ify their sex lives to “top” and “bottom”), this is the person who is giving, if you know what I’m saying. 

I say you can - R

I know I can't - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

You can do it - R

I don't dance, no - Ch 

 Here is where that mosh pit ends, and how they get a little too close to comfort. 

Nothing to it, atta boy, atta boy, yeah - both

The rest of this song is simply a mash-up of the baseball game being finished, and this lovely gem. 

Now, clearly, Chad’s self conscious nature towards his sexuality is gone, he’s sitting close - if not squishing - Ryan, and talking to him like they’ve been friends forever. Take note of the change of close, most likely due to all the tension at the end of the song, and maybe a little of Chad’s own natural human curiosity built in. Now, I leave you with this note: 

If there is anything that confirms all this more, its Chad’s girlfriend wearing the pride colours. 

Also note: this could also be seen as a friend helping his bro discover his sexuality and fighting internalized homophobia, but, that’s ignoring the sexual tension, so go off I guess. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.  

Watch the full thing here

[obsidianfr3sk]

Humon + all the questions 👀👀👀👀👀👀

*Cracks her knuckles* My time has come

100 Otp Questions (✨Humon edition✨)

1. Who loves flower crowns more? Simon. I think that during most of his childhood and teen years he tried to repress a lot of his more "feminine" interests so when he became an adult and a little more confident, he started to kinda obsess over them 2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle? Hugh 3. Who has awful taste in music? Hugh (? HE JUST SEEMS LIKE HE HAS SHITTY MUSICAL TASTE, OK????? 4. Who is the meme lover? Simon, and Hugh always goes like "I don't get it" 5. How did their second date go? Better than the first one:) 6. How many children do they want/have? They always wanted to have a lot of kids 7. Who hides the weapons? Simon 8. Who is the better dancer? Hugh. Simon's super clumsy, but it’s kinda adorable:) 9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding? No, they went to the courthouse after a few weeks after they defeated Ace Anarchy and had a small ceremony with friends (they were still mourning Georgia u.u) 10. What do their parents think of them dating? Well, according to my headcanons (? Hugh didn't actually meet his parents (because Mr. Everhart didn't want t prodigy son) but Simon lived with this dad! Mr. Westwood didn’t like Hugh that much because he thought he may be a bad influence:) But after they started dating he started to notice Simon was so happy with him, and at the end of the day, it was all that mattered. But yeah he still didn't like Hugh that much lol his son was too good for him (? 11. Are they a super sappy couple? When they're drunk, yes (? 12. How did they get together? Simon was the introvert Hugh, an extrovert, adopted 13. Who asked the other to get married? They asked each other at the same time:) 14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes? Simon. 15. Who is the nerd? B O T H 16. Who knows the most obscure facts? Hugh: *drinks water* Simon: you know... drinking too much water can actually kill you. Hugh: *nervously drinks water* 17. Who makes the other a flower crown? Simon, but one day Hugh tried to make one for him (it was a little bit... ugly, but Simon liked it) 18. Who likes to read? Simon. 19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads? Hugh 20. Who tutors the other? Hugh 21. Do they have similar taste in movies? Yeah, for some reason I think they both like Marvel movies lol 22. How do their personalities complement each other? Simon is more sensitive, calm, and proactive, while Hugh is more dense, social, and reactive 23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon? If you've read my fic Catch Me if I Should Fall, you know I believe Georgia asked Hugh to take care of Adrian if something happened to her. So when something did happen to her lol I think Hugh told Simon about the conversation they had, and Simon accepted without hesitation. Simon was the one who told the rest of the team, and honestly, nobody objected, because they knew they were the most capable of taking care of a child. 24. Who has better fashion sense? Hugh:) 25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner? Both 26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle? OKAY SDAJFASFJD hahaha just imagine (? Adrian's on the car with them and Simon just starts singing at the top of his lungs "Stacy's Dad" but instead of saying "Stacy" he sings "Adrian". Adrian is super embarrassed because omg the cringe and he goes "dad tell pops to stop" while Simon is "ADRIAN'S DAD IS ACTUALLY PRETTY RAD HE'S ALL I WANT AND I'M OBSESSED JUST A TAD". So Hugh looks at him dead in the eye and says: "OH ADRIAN CAN'T YOU SEE YOUR DAD JUST THE GUY FOR ME" and then they both go "I KNOW IT MAY BE BAD BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH ADRIAN'S DAD" and Adrian jumps out of the car 27. What other couple would your otp get along with? I think they would get along with Tamaya and her husband:) 28. Who likes to prank the other? Okay so dskbsajfdjsd I think Simon, but like, he would make sexual jokes (? and Hugh would be like "I don't know how to respond to that". But he likes them xd 29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures? Both. 30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates? Sweetie, they already know it 31. Where would they live? It's not like they don't like living in their mansion, but they would be more than happy if they lived in a small house:) As long as they're together 32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one? *googles types of dragons* so apparently Quetzalcoatl is considered a dragon... yeah, they would own a Quetzalcoatl :))) 33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be? Okay there are too many types of vampires what the actual fuck askdhsjakfdj but yeah, I think they would be your standard vampire lol 34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween? THEY WOULD DRESS UP AS EACH OTHER SDFBSHFBJ The Dread Captain and Chromium Warden (? 35. Can they name each other’s favorite food? Yes!!! Hugh knows Simon favorite food is pupusas (a traditional Salvadorian dish) (yes I headcanon Simon as half Salvadorian fight me) and one time he tried to cook them for him but he almost set the kitchen on fire. Ah, and Simon knows Hugh's favorite food is apple pie:) 36. Do they have pet names for one another? Hugh: *calls his husband dear/hun* Simon: *call his husband dude, amigo, bro, captain, and sometimes love, when he's in a good mood* 37. How do they cheer each other up? "I love you" "I know" "And I know you know. I just wanted to make sure you remember. Do you wanna talk about it?" "No" "It's okay. I'm here for you tho." "I know. And thank you" 38. Do they show a lot of PDA? At first, Simon had problems with PDA because fucking homophobes are everywhere, but now he hugs Hugh in public every time he can. And Hugh doesn't have a problem with it:) 39. How old were they when they got together? My headcanon is that they were 16, almost 17:) 40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home? SIMON ASAJDBJSD and Hugh would be the one who's like "i don't want animals in this house Simon you have to find him another home i'm the patriarch and I've spoken" but then two months later he's like "Simon the dog sleeps in the bed tonight he's a puppy and there's a thunderstorm he will get scared:(((" 41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses? Some of them 42. What is their song? YOU FELL ASLEEP IN MY CAR I DROVE THE WHOLE TIME BUT THAT'S OKAY I'LL JUST AVOID THE HOLES SO YOU SLEEP FINE Tear in my Heart, by TOP 43. What does their room look like? LIKE A PINTEREST MOM ROOM LOL 44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded? Hugh kills the zombies, Simon keeps him grounded 45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed? Añis, I think both of them:) 46. Who loves kids more? Simon. Hugh likes his kids and kids sometimes like him, but they're sticky and loud and just... no:) 47. Do either of them have a crazy ex? Does Ace count? 48. What are their favourite colours? Simon's favorite colour is purple and Hugh's is blue 49. Who likes to cook? Both, but Simon cooks better:) 50. Who is the forgetful one? I think Simon lol 51. Does either of them know how to fight? They do!! Like you cannot be a superhero without knowing how to fight lol. But I think Simon is more of thinking before every movent and Hugh tends more to using brute force 52. What do they do for Valentine's Day? They send each other flowers to work and have a romantic dinner at their house, is a tradition. 53. Who swears more? When they were younger Hugh used to curse more, but when they got older, Simon started doing it more than him 54. Who has the better comebacks? Simon. Sometimes Hugh is just... mean with his comebacks 55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale? H U G H (he's a soccer mom trapped in the body of a gay superhero) (Hugh: FIGHT ME TINA!) 56. Who reads buzzfeed? Both, but Simon does it ironically, Hugh doesn't (? 57. Who is the hopeless romantic? Both:) 58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand? Yes, Simon. 59. Who can rap better? S I M O N (One time Hugh was having a rap battle with Tamaya and Simon went “GO WHITE BOY GO”) 60. Do either of them want to go sky diving? No, they're too old for that 61. What do they usually text about? The kids, work, "i'm gonna order pizza" "all right" "but hurry up u r paying and i'm hungry", and "love ya" 62. Who is the dramatic one? It depends xd but I think Hugh lol 63. Is either one confrontational? Have you seen Hugh in Supernova?? the guy is batshit crazy i see why yall don't like him tbh 64. What is their favourite cuddle position? Spoon!!! (those basic bitches) 65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)? JUAN GABRIEL AND SELENA QUINTANILLA 66. What are their parenting styles? Well, for what I saw in the books, they're not really super strict, but I think Hugh is more strict than Simon:) 67. Who would be the more laid back one? Simon. He would sneak his kids a cookie after Hugh told him not 68. Who listens to more vulgar music? I think Simon, but he just listens to it when Hugh’s around because he goes like the lady from this vine and is hilarious 69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know? Hugh doesn't like papusas that much:) 70. Who is their go to couple for a double date? Tamaya and his husband! 71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date? Yes, they're nice:) 72. How do they work out a fight? I think they give the other their space to think and calm down, and then they talk about it. 73. Who brings home an illegal pet? SIMON BUT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW THE PET IS ILLEGAL UNTIL HUGH TELLS HIM 74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on? Hugh sleeps on the right side and Simon on the left side 75. What is their favorite photo of them two together? A candid photo Georgia took a few weeks after they started dating. They are at Simon's basement, shyly holding hands and looking at each other completely smitten 76. Who takes longer in the bathroom? Hugh lol 77. Who has more songs on their ipod? Simon!! 78. What movie did they first see together? Matilda xd 79. What do they like to see each other in? Their supersuits (? 80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times? Simon skdfhjsdjhs 81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children? Right after Adrian was born they started to think about it, but never really talked of it until they were like 24-25. 82. What do they love about each other the most? They both think of each other as the bravest person they have ever met. 83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focuses on the small details? Hugh sees the big picture and Simon focus on the small details 84. What would they write on their partner’s social media for their anniversary? Something really cheesy lol 85. Who is bad at math? Simon 86. Who googles everything? Hugh to win arguments, Simon out of anxiety 87. Who does stuff on impulse? Hugh (fucking obviously) 88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation? I think they just... hold hands. Like “maybe we cannot do anything about this situation, but if the worst happens, we’ll be together and that’s the only right thing in this world right now.” 89. What is an inside joke they have? "rEnEgAdEs???? More like RENEGAYS" 90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all? Hugh 91. What is their favourite holiday? Christmas!! 92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive? *Supernova flashbacks* 93. What is their favourite board game to play? Pachisi  94. Who accidental sets something on fire? Hugh 95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store? Hugh has the car ready and Simon robs the store 96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert? SELENA QUINTANILLA 97. Who sleep talks? Simon 98. Who is the more social one? Hugh 99. What are their karaoke songs? Don't Go Breaking My Heart, Dreaming of You, and Te Quiero Tanto (but Simon is the only one who can sing it; he's been taking Spanish classes because after his mother died, he forgot all his Spanish. He does what he can) 100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh? Hugh

[wishingpoodle2004]

A WHOLESOME STEREK REC LIST

(Scroll to the bottom to see my allstar list)

•A Simple Life by Survivah

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12227445/chapters/27777660

Summary:

Derek plans to spend the rest of his life holed up in the woods after Laura dies. Then he meets a stubborn young fox, and the stubborn young fox meets an urn of Deaton's magic powder, and his plans change.

My Rating: 10/10

Simply Excellent

•The Boy and the Beast by Duran Sudis (dsudis)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/751583/chapters/1403203

Summary:

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)

My Rating: 9/10

Great story. Would liked to see the Human! Derek x Human! Stiles develope a bit more

• Good Behavior by theSilence

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8460571/1/Good-Behavior

Summary

The God Awful Courting Tactics Used to Woo Stiles Stilinski by Derek Hale.

My Rating: 8.5/10

Absolutely hilarious, Stiles and Derek at their finest (not). Only fault is that it’s short and the people need to know what happened after date 3.

• headlong (I’m falling in a) by hito

https://archiveofourown.org/works/295390/chapters/472650

Summary:

Kink meme fill: When Stiles goes to college, for some reason, he has to share an apartment with Derek, which sucks, because Derek still hates him the most. They fall in love.

My Rating: 8.5/10

Love Stlies and Derek learning to share breathing space and getting walked in on by the rest of the pack . Warning⚠️ Lydia is bonkers and power hungry.

• You Feel Like Home by thestreetballet

https://archiveofourown.org/works/383108

Summary:

"Derek, don't bully Mr Stilinski. He's had a bad few days."

My Rating: 9/10

I love love love Harry Potter AU sterek. Young Derek is desperately trying to look out for his newly found mate (young Stiles) while balancing prefect duties, pack life AND trying to keep said mating a secret from everyone including Stiles. This is part of a short series, read it all to get it. Warning ⚠️ Alpha Peter is bananas, lots of interspecies conflict.

• Can’t Take The Heat? by Ilovesocks_24

https://archiveofourown.org/works/810771/chapters/1530771

Summary:

“Hi, I’m Stiles, and what I have for you today is…”

“Stop, just stop.” Grumpy Eyebrows interrupted. “That is honestly the worst looking Pasta Primavera I have ever seen. I don’t even want to eat it, it looks so bad.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes. No one insulted his creamy bacon carbonara without even trying it. And no one insulted his creamy bacon carbonara after they tried it either.

“It’s actually a Creamy Bacon Carbonara, asshole,” Stiles snapped. “And for the record, it’s supposed to look like that.”

Or the one where Stiles is a new sous chef at Full Moon Steakhouse and Derek is the Gordon Ramsay of all head chefs. So of course they fall in love.

My Rating: 8/10

Pretty good. The story was more focused on Stiles journey as a chef so not as many fluffy moments but still pretty satisfying.

• Permanent Fixture by linksofmemories_archive

https://archiveofourown.org/works/518387/chapters/915659

Summary:

Derek is Scott's older brother. Stiles is Scott's best friend. Derek is falling in love with Stiles. This is a bit of a problem.

My Rating: 9.5/10

This story WILL make you CRY. I had a hard time rating this because it’s very slow burn with lots of angst but you can literally feel every emotion in the story so I had to give it the extra 0.5. Spoiler: Claudia called it.

•Fly a Little Faster by mirrorkill

https://archiveofourown.org/works/900839

Summary:

Everyone knows when you go back in time, you shouldn't step on an ant, just in case you accidentally kill your own grandparent or something. But what happens when you go back in time and, uh, accidentally interrupt the one event that apparently made the Grumpiest Alpha in Town into a ball of mindless manpain?

Well, if Marty McFly can do it, so can Stiles Stilinski. All he has to do is get Derek and Paige to fall in love before he gets pulled back to his own time. And before he makes anything worse. That's easy as pie, right? Right?

My Rating: 8/10

Such a creative. I only wish they had gotten to spend more time together in the past.

•Pack Up; Don’t Stray by the_deep_magic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/644874/chapters/1171121

Summary:

AU – Werewolves are an enslaved underclass, collared and tagged by human masters. Detective Stilinski’s on duty the night they bring in an untagged stray.

My Rating: 8.5/10

I like this story because their love was based on trust and respect. Just two people who needed each other, found each other and fought for each other.

•In the Solstice of our Hearts by raving revolution

https://archiveofourown.org/works/971008/chapters/1907773

Summary:

"You're not putting that up your butt," Scott told him flatly and Stiles couldn't stop the pissed off whine he made, but his friend continued. "Stiles, you can't put that up your butt, you know that. Your butt won't be ready for anything to go in it until-"

"Okay, okay!" he said, flailing his hands to stop his friend's lecture. "Message received, no butt stuff until I'm pounced on by some freaking animal in the forest and ravished to within an inch of my life. Got it. Thanks, Scotty, I mean heaven forbid I actually try to take control of my life and give myself a fighting chance or anything."

"Not all alphas are animals," Scott said quietly.

Maybe he was right, but Stiles wasn't holding his breath.

My Rating: 8.5/10

Interesting story but I wanted more fluff.

• No Homo by orphan_account

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148039/chapters/2864236

Summary:

Stiles' sophomore year starts something like this:

3 FourLokos

+ 1 peer-pressuring cat

- 1 best bro to end all best bros

= 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads "str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic".

Derek is the fool who replies.

My Rating: 9/10

This is one of my all time favorites. The author’s summary doesn’t even begin to do it justice. Firstly homophobic Stiles is just hilarious and adorable. Secondly this story is sooooo Hot🔥, bottom!Derek is amazing. Thirdly, just read it!!!!! You won’t regret it

• tongue of dog and blind-worm’s sting by Zercalo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4896598/chapters/11229727

Summary:

In order to keep the identity of the teacher he's been seeing a secret, Derek's been withdrawing from his pack and family. Cora, frustrated with his alienation and a little lonely, clings to the first nonjudgmental person who offers companionship – which happens to be that odd Muggleborn Revenclaw who's always hanging around the Gryffindor common room.

She hasn't befriended Stiles for Derek's sake, but Derek just might reap the benefits anyway - if he pulls his head out of his ass and quit the stupid self-sacrificing act.

My Rating: 9/10

This is another Hogwarts AU where Cora is the best friend we all need. Derek’s dug himself into a pretty deep hole with Kate but Stiles might just get him out of it. Cute teenage courting ensues and once again we all need a Cora in our lives. Oh, and no biggie but there’s a mass murderer on the loose. Note: This story is part of a series.

• Rare Books and Special Collections by orphan_account

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5192954

Summary:

Derek Hale hates libraries.

Unfortunately, not all books can be ordered on Amazon.

(Or: in which Derek is a grumpy omega writer, and Stiles is an annoyingly attractive alpha special collections librarian.)

My Rating: 9/10

I love Omega! Derek. He’s an anti social writer who we just want to scoop up in our arms. Stiles’ idea of flirting is giving Derek books and library tours. Adorableness and Cluelessness ensues.

• Cornerstone by Vendelin

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1725518/chapters/3678122

Summary:

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

My Rating: 8.5/10

I see this fic EVERYWHERE and it is pretty good but because it’s a pretty serious story it doesn’t have as much fluff. Derek’s got serious issues and Stiles is blind. However, I did love how Stiles shared so much of himself with Derek and how Derek slowly learned how to return the favor. I really appreciated the reality check.

•Pink Is For Pining (You, You, Nothing But You) by clotpolesonly

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15177281

Summary:

“You know you could just ask him out, right?” Scott asked.

Stiles stuffed the toast in his mouth and hoped he wasn’t blushing. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you have a ginormous crush on him.”

“I do not, shut up,” Stiles hissed as well as he could around a mouthful of toast.

“Your pink hair says differently,” Scott sing-songed at him.

***

In which Stiles is a supremely socially awkward metamorphmagus with a crush, Derek is a quietly pining werewolf, and Scott and Lydia are done with their stubbornness and stupidity.

My Rating: 9/10

I had to end off this rec list with Pink is for Pining and (surprise surprise) it’s another Hogwarts fic. This one is always in my top 3 because through Derek’s love, Stiles learns to love every part of himself. Alright, maybe I’m hyping this fic up too much (it’s REALLY short) but I’m a believer that one paragraph can make all the difference 😁

My Allstar List

1. A Simple Life by Survivah

https://archiveofourown.org/works/749767/chapters/1399097

2. Pink Is For Pining by clotpolesonly

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15177281

3. Permanent Fixture

https://archiveofourown.org/works/518387/chapters/915659

4. No Homo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148039/chapters/2326073

5. Rare Books and Special Collections by orphan_account

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5192954

Thanks for Reading!

I hope you enjoyed this Rec list. Please send me any you think I’ll enjoy or that would be a good addition to the list. Happy reading!

[timeisacephalopod]

Drunk Buys

Random WinterIron crack AU for reasons lol.

Tony walks into the living room with a large box in his hands and perches in Bucky’s lap. “Babe, we need to have a talk about you drunk buying things because I have no fucking clue why the hell you bought what is in this box,” he says.

Natasha’s head whips up, “what’s in the booooox?” she asks in a surprising imitation of Brad Pitt and Tony resents the fact that she and Bucky made him watch that fucking movie.

“A replica of Gwyneth Paltro’s head,” he says without missing a beat.

Bucky looks surprised and leans over the box’s edge, “really?” he asks, curiosity written on his features.

“No Bucky, why the fuck would you buy something like that?” Though he shouldn’t be surprised at this point. For some reason he bought one thousand communion crackers and he’s Jewish, not Catholic. They still have a good three hundred of them left because they’re fucking tired of eating Jesus. Or at least he thinks that’s how that works, but either way they taste like cardboard and none of them want any more of them.

“He bought a pink kitty fur suit once, why are we shocked?” Natasha asks, raising an eyebrow.

“We agreed never to speak of that of the fifteen hundred dildos again,” Bucky says, looking haunted. Like he has the right, all those dildos showing up to Tony’s house brought actual media attention and Natasha made a bunch of memes about it that got really popular. But then that shouldn’t surprise him either considering she’s gotten so good at making memes she got them banned in Russia.

“Did he order some dumb shit online again? Ban him from booze,” Sam says, walking into the living room and shaking his head. 

“But then who would bring us these wonderful gifts?” Bucky asks, wide eyed.

Tony sighs, “honey, do you even remember what you bought?” he asks. Bucky stares at the box for a long few moments.

“I don’t remember getting drunk to be honest,” he says eventually. “But I have a bad memory. I know I know your middle name but I can’t remember that either.” Yeah, Tony thinks that’s for the best now that Edward is attached to sparkly vampires that abuse so he leaves it.

“You should maybe not drink. I mean you once sent your ex a 3D printed model of your ass with a sticky note attached that said ‘suck on this’. That barely even makes sense,” he points out.

Sam laughs, “ah, the rare time he mails things instead of having things mailed to him. Remember when he set up that automatic mailing system to send his fifth grade teacher a copy of his degree every day for the rest of her life because she told him he’d never make it anywhere in life? I remember that because that’s the moment he proved her right,” Sam says, pleased with his insult.

Bucky flips him off but Sam pays no attention to that. “Remember when you bought Sam twelve falcons? Or spent a thousand dollars on a bunch of ant farms for Scott? I still don’t know who that is,” Tony says. “But that time you bought ten parrots and sent them to Hammer with a note that read ‘they’re trained to mock’ is probably one of the funniest I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing,” he says.

“Scott’s the guy that’s got a kid,” Nat says like that helps him any.

“I thought that was May. I am I missing something? I thought the kid’s dad was dead?” Or was it his uncle? Well shit, he can’t just ask Peter which family members of his bit the fucking dust, that’s rude.

“No, Scott has his own kid. Cassie,” Bucky says.

Tony frowns. “Well I know which kid you’re talking about now, but I thought she was Clint’s... The fuck is that new one of his named then?” 

“Nathaniel because the little fucker came out a boy and ruined naming it after me,” Natasha says, obviously bitter about this. Tony thinks the baby has won there though.

He shakes his head. “Whatever, I’ll figure Scott out later. Point is you have a problem and we can’t continue to eat Jesus every time you get sad drunk. We’ve probably eaten like five Jesus’ by now.”

Natasha starts laughing and Sam sighs. “You know when those moments happen and you think ‘if someone heard this out of context they’d think we’re nuts’. Well that’s most of the interactions I have with you people. I’d say its white people but T’Challa and Rhodey do it too. Like come on man, black people aren’t furries,” he says, shaking his head. Tony laughs because he’s ninety percent sure T’Challa has no idea what a furry even is let alone how that relates to being Black Panther but Sam’s inability to get past it is hilarious.

“I think its kind of a fun quirky trait,” Bucky says, grinning a little.

Tony sighs, “honey. Consider this box and your lack of knowledge on what’s in this box. You should probably ban yourself from the computer when drunk.”

“It’s not that bad,” Bucky says in his own defense, giving Tony that sad, puppy dog look that really does make him want to scoop Bucky up and kiss him better. Not that he does because that’s enabling.

“Bucky bee, Buzzfeed has written listicles of weird shit you’ve boughten when drunk. You have a problem with drunk online shopping. Remember the five life sized Daleks you bought because you thought they were cute and you’ve never even heard of the show Doctor Who?” Because he does. Two of them are in his bedroom and he’d rather they leave because they give him nightmares with the creepy shadows they cast.

“Hold up,” Sam says, holding his hand in the air. “Did you just call him ‘Bucky bee’?”

Tony frowns, “yeah?” he asks, unsure why this is unusual when he gives everyone weird nicknames. He called Sam ‘birdman’ for over a year until Clint got annoyed because before Sam he was the only one who was referenced by birds and then he called to Sam’s nicknames too. So now Sam is the annoying little brother and Clint is the boring father. Neither like their reassessments but they both admit that it’s better than Rhodey’s platypus.

“Get the hell out of this house,” Sam says and Tony squints.

“This is my house,” he points out.

“Its my house now if you’re going to call people gay ass shit like that,” Sam says.

He frowns, “that’s homophobic.”

“Doesn’t count when you’re bisexual, die mad about it and out of my newly acquired home thanks to you saying dumb shit.”

“That’s what he’s going to lose his house over? Not that he thought minimum wage was the same as a living wage?” Nat asks.

“Okay in my defense that makes sense! What the hell is the wage minimuming if its not going into poverty? Now its just ‘weird arbitrary number some rando politician shit out’. Its not my fault I’m logical,” Tony says in his own defense.

“Why is there a taxidermy bat in here?” Bucky asks, pulling the bat out of the box on Tony’s lap. “Oh what the fuck, there’s a rat and an alligator too. And what the hell is that?” he asks. Tony looks in the box and sighs.

“Goat skull. This is why I think you have a problem. You think taxidermy is the work of the devil and yet here it is, sitting in my lap.” Bucky pulls out some more tissue paper and frowns for a moment, leaning into the box and letting out a loud shriek before he shoves Tony and the box off his lap.

Tony lets out an undignified squawk and falls to the ground, watching as Bucky’s weird drunk trinkets fall out. When he spots the spider though he jumps back into Bucky’s lap at a speed faster than anything he knew himself to be capable of. “I swear to fucking god if that thing is alive I’m leaving you!” he shrieks, ignoring how high his voice is.

Natasha goes over and scoops up the spider, “nope. Not alive,” she reports not that Tony relaxes. He’s maybe picked up some bug fear from Rhodey, who is genuinely terrified of all things insect and most things reptile. He says if it has too many legs or not enough legs it ain’t right. His threshold if four legs and that’s mostly only because he likes dogs otherwise it’d be two.

“Oh hey, I remember why I bought that stuff,” Bucky says excitedly. “Steve was pissing me off so I bought all the things he feared and planned on sticking them in his bed.”

Sam, who seems to like this idea, starts gathering Bucky’s fallen drunk buys back into the box. “What? He’s been pissing me off lately. He can deal with a bat or two in his pillow.”

“I think you’re evil,” Bucky tells him in a low tone.

“It was your idea, dipshit, you’re the evil one,” Sam points out.

“Gunna take that spider?” Tony asks and Sam snorts.

“Fuck no, those things have no right to look like that. They don’t need that many eyes or that many legs. God made a mistake with them,” he says, giving the spider a disdainful look.

Natasha frowns, “spiders are really good for ecosystems, god made a mistake with humans given how invasive and shitty we are. Spiders are good, you leave them alone,” she says, holding the creepy tarantula to her chest.

“I think god made a mistake with wasps and Sam,” Bucky says.

“Please stop drunk buying things I have heart problems and I can’t handle finding more spiders in boxes,” Tony says.

Something must occur to Bucky then because he turns to Sam wide eyed, “you might want to get home before Steve does,” he says but leaves the ominous warning at that.

[i-like-your-genitalia]

You are going to kill me... buuut all 200 questions? I'm keeping you busy and thinking about your life

200: My crush’s name is: Jennifer 


199: I was born in: a hospital? (Jks 1998)


198: I am really: funny 


197: My cellphone company is: Lebara


196: My eye color is: boring ol’ brown 


195: My shoe size is: a ladies 9


194: My ring size is: I actually don’t know


193: My height is: 5'10 


192: I am allergic to: nothing surprisingly 


191: My 1st car was: 1998 Subaru Legacy (the station wagon)


190: My 1st job was: Checkout Worker


189: Last book you read: The Accident Man


188: My bed is: a king 


187: My pet: I don’t have one atm 


186: My best friend: Anushka 


185: My favorite shampoo is: I don’t have one (but I like anything coconut or tropical scented)


184: Xbox or ps3: don’t care 


183: Piggy banks are: lit


182: In my pockets: I’m a girl, only 20% of my clothes have pockets big enough to put anything in 


181: On my calendar: “Spotify Premium runs out on the 27th of August"


180: Marriage is: Not married 


179: Spongebob can: 


178: My mom: is awesome 


177: The last three songs I bought were? Whatever I listened to last on Spotify? 


176: Last YouTube video watched: review on Aztec clay face mask 


175: How many cousins do you have? 4 step cousins and then 6 blood related cousins 


174: Do you have any siblings? Just a younger sister 


173: Are your parents divorced? Nah they still together and in love 


172: Are you taller than your mom? Only just 


171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play the piano 


170: What did you do yesterday? Worked

[ I Believe In ]


169: Love at first sight: kinda 


168: Luck: yes 


167: Fate: not really 


166: Yourself: sometimes 


165: Aliens: yes 


164: Heaven: yes 


163: Hell: no 


162: God: yes 


161: Horoscopes: I mostly enjoy the zodiac memes and compatibility and personality horoscopes 


160: Soul mates: yes, but I believe you have more than one 


159: Ghosts: yes 


158: Gay Marriage: big yes 


157: War: nope


156: Orbs: it would be cool but I’m neutral 


155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]


154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs 


153: Drunk or High: Drunk 


152: Phone or Online: Online 


151: Red heads or Black haired: Red heads 


150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes 


149: Hot or cold: Hot 


148: Summer or winter: Summer 


147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn 


146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate 


145: Night or Day: Day 


144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges 


143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly 


142: McDonalds or Burger King: Maccas 


141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate 


140: Mac or PC: Mac


139: Flip flops or high heels: High Heels 


138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and Poor 


137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke


136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA


135: Burried or cremated: Cremated 


134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing 


133: Coach or Chanel: Chanel 


132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they?


131: Small town or Big city: Big city 


130: Wal-Mart or Target: I haven’t been to either 


129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller 


128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure 


127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast 


126: Your Birthday or Christmas: this is too cruel to answer 


125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 


124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 


123: Yankees or Red Sox: um don’t care

[ Here’s What I Think About ]


122: War: It’s expensive and unnecessary and should be a last resort. It’s not worth the lives lost, people injured and relocated. The monetary cost is ridiculous and it barley solves anything. It cause more issues and potentially more wars

121: George Bush: did 9/11


120: Gay Marriage: It’s actually crazy how long and how much effort it took to get this accepted. And I just hope this right isn’t taken away! 


119: The presidential election: Donald Trump and Pence need to die or be locked up forever, I don’t even understand how anyone thought that Hilary Clinton would be worse. 


118: Abortion: Pro-choice for the win 


117: MySpace: I wasn’t old enough for this 


116: Reality TV: my guilty pleasure tbh 


115: Parents: I love my parents and they are good to me. But it would be great if they could be less homophobic. 


114: Back stabbers: I don’t know why people feel the need to intentionally hurt and embarrass someone, especially someone who isn’t prepared for it or trusts you 


113: Ebay: I don’t really use eBay 


112: Facebook: I use it to tag my non tumblr friends in memes and to stalk people 


111: Work: I’m sick of my job but I’m having to stick it out for now. 


110: My Neighbors: They are seasonal but if their kids could not move and rearrange the bedroom at the ass crack of dawn that would be fantastic 


109: Gas Prices: New Zealand, especially in the towns. Gas prices are so high. Spain isn’t so bad


108: Designer Clothes: I’d rather have more clothes than one designer one 


107: College: 


106: Sports: I have zero hand eye coordination and therefore hate sports! But I will watch the Olympics 


105: My family: They are cool for the most part 


104: The future: is scary and it makes me wanna throw up if I think too much about it

[ Last time I ]


103: Hugged someone: like a week ago 


102: Last time you ate: I’m eating chocolate right now 


101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: my grandparents and my cousins today 


100: Cried in front of someone: it’s been forever 


99: Went to a movie theater: like a good 6-8 months ago


98: Took a vacation: ummm like 4 months ago 


97: Swam in a pool: yesterday 


96: Changed a diaper: not since my babysitting days 


95: Got my nails done: literally before I left New Zealand so 5 months ago


94: Went to a wedding: it’s been years 


93: Broke a bone: never actually broken anything in my body 


92: Got a peircing: I got my ears pieced when I was 12 


91: Broke the law: Probably when I was driving, speeding or something but nothing I've been charged with lmao


90: Texted: like a couple of hours ago

[ MISC ]


89: Who makes you laugh the most: my sister 


88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: having consistently good home cooked meals 


87: The last movie I saw: probably shrek 


86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: being back in New Zealand! Or doing some travelling 


85: The thing im not looking forward to: working 


84: People call me: gay
83: The most difficult thing to do is: be honest 
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: I actually haven’t 


81: My zodiac sign is: Leo 


80: The first person i talked to today was: my girlfriend 


79: First time you had a crush: the first crush I remember, I was in year 4 (so 8 years old) and it was on this boy named Joseph 


78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: I’m good at hiding things tbh 


77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: my sister when my mum and dad were talking shit 


76: Right now I am talking to: my sister and my friends from New Zealand 


75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Hairdressing tho I kinda would like to do pre school/nursery/kindergarten teaching 


74: I have/will get a job: currently working as front of house at a little supermarket 


73: Tomorrow: I’m working and doing house work


72: Today: I slept and then worked 


71: Next Summer: I will hopefully be enjoying the sunshine 


70: Next Weekend: Working yet again and having dinner with my grandparents 


69: I have these pets: Definitely a cat, and also a dog 


68: The worst sound in the world: chalk or finger nails on a chalkboard 


67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself 


66: People that make you happy: my sister, my friends and my girlfriend 


65: Last time I cried: when I watched beauty and the beast 


64: My friends are: absolutely incredible, I don’t deserve them


63: My computer is: I don’t have one anymore 


62: My School: I’m not in school 


61: My Car: I don’t have a car atm 


60: I lose all respect for people who: are snakes 


59: The movie I cried at was: beauty and the beast


58: Your hair color is: brown and boring 
57: TV shows you watch: Atm limitless, shooter, Shetland, Rewatching Criminal Minds, AHS and Black Mirror


56: Favorite web site: boohoo.com or iherb 


55: Your dream vacation: A cruise or a historical/relaxed tour of the ancient world 


54: The worst pain I was ever in was: in a tie between slamming my fingers in a car door or when I got a virus (it’s a really bad version of food poisoning) and I actually thought I was gonna die. 


53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium to well done 


52: My room is: relatively clean and currently got that minimal plant theme going 


51: My favorite celebrity is: Dua Lipa 


50: Where would you like to be: with @dysfunctionalgroup


49: Do you want children: yeah one day 


48: Ever been in love: yes 


47: Who’s your best friend: Anushka 


46: More guy friends or girl friends: it used to be a balance but now mostly girl friends 


45: One thing that makes you feel great is: cute underwear and a good nights sleep 


44: One person that you wish you could see right now:


43: Do you have a 5 year plan: yes


42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: mentally but it’s not written down anywhere 


41: Have you pre-named your children: no, but I have some names I really like lined up 


40: Last person I got mad at: my sister 


39: I would like to move to: the Uk or NZ 


38: I wish I was a professional:

[ My Favorites ]


37: Candy: Reece’s pieces or skittles 


36: Vehicle: Kinda want a Range Rover or a Land Rover but in the old style. Or a classic car


35: President: Obama


34: State visited: ive never been to America 


33: Cellphone provider: Lebara 


32: Athlete: my bio teacher, she played for a big women’s netball team 


31: Actor: Jensen Ackles 


30: Actress: Gal Gadot 


29: Singer: Dua Lipa


28: Band: The Internet

27: Clothing store: h&m or boohoo


26: Grocery store: I don’t have one 


25: TV show: Brooklyn 99


24: Movie: I have too many 


23: Website: this hell hole


22: Animal: Cats or Goats 


21: Theme park: I’ve only been to Disney 


20: Holiday: Christmas and Halloween 


19: Sport to watch: Gymnastics 


18: Sport to play: None


17: Magazine: who reads magazines anymore 


16: Book: the Mysterious Benedict Society 


15: Day of the week: Friday 


14: Beach: as long as it’s sandy I’m cool 


13: Concert attended: J Cole


12: Thing to cook: Pizza and Sweet and Sour Pork 


11: Food: Cheesburgers 


10: Restaurant: Any that sell food I like 


9: Radio station: ZM




8: Yankee candle scent: most of them




7: Perfume: Dolce and Gabbana, Floral Drops




6: Flower: forget me nots




5: Color: Green




4: Talk show host: don’t have a fave




3: Comedian: don’t have a fave




2: Dog breed: Border Collie




1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Guess you’ll never know

[rottenlikebluecheese-blog]

All you CC blogs are just the same you all wanna suck Idubbz FilthyFrank and Maxmoefoes dicks (that's gross) and you'd probably would eat their vomit if you could no wonder your url has rotten in it just kys

Here 👏 we 👏 fucking 👏 go

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the-

Nah, that meme is old.

First things first, you ever heard of grammar? This thing called a ‘comma’? how about a ‘period’, or a ‘full stop’? I’ll give you a 4 for effort because at least you managed to add a couple capital letters, but grammar is what structures a sentence. Also. Idubbz? Now you’re just fucking around, my dude. Ha ha, funny meme, nice job. Being an intentional troll is sooo good, you get soooo much attention.

Just know, I won’t be posting anything more if you send me any more anons, unless they’re fuckin hilarious and need to be shared lmao

Now get your homophobic, illiterate ass away from me and my friends because people like you aren’t even worth enough to be the dog shit on the bottom of our shoes.

And hey, I may be rotten but at least if I have something to say I’ll say it out in the open instead of hiding behind anon like some little bitch.

Sunshine Boy ☀️☀️

[pojkflata]

My emo ass backstory

This was originally the script to a draw my life video, but I realized that it was becoming so ridiculously long that it could only work in text form

Nevertheless, I wanted to get this out of my system. I don’t think I’ve ever truly told anyone about my past in more detail than “I was bullied”, and just getting in depth about it for the first time in my life felt. Good.

CW for bullying, abuse and animal death

I was born in 1998, in a city called Helsingborg in southern Sweden, actually only a few miles away from Denmark by boat. My father worked as a cashier at the time, and my mother was unemployed. She used to breed dogs, but had to give it up when my big brother, Jakob, was born in 1997 in order to be able to raise him, and later me and my siblings. We still had some dogs around though, including one named Bandit who I adored.

During my early years, my family was struggling financially, because the only one out of my parents who had a job (my dad) had a pretty poorly paying one, and not only did my parents have me, my big brother and dogs to care about, I also had a little brother, Filip, and a little sister, Klowbi. We very rarely got things like toys or games, since my parents couldn’t afford them, so Jakob and I early showed interest in the internet as a nice way to spend our free time. The internet was a much more empty place back then, but we still found a lot of fun things to do, moreso than with the few toys we had.

When I was maybe five years old, my parents got more well paid jobs, my mother as a politician and my father in the advertisement industry, and my family’s economical situation became a lot better.

I began 1st grade in 2005, and oh jeez… I was bullied for nine entire years, and most of it stems from the fact that I was an undiagnosed autistic. Worth noting is that I was dfab, and presented as a ”girl” at that time, but it’s not like nobody noticed my symptoms just because of that. A lot of people noticed actually, but my mom did not believe them when people expressed concern.

I changed schools a lot, but I always ended up bullied, and my teachers would never support me, instead saying it was my fault for various reasons. A lot of the bullying was about harrassing me to the point that I would get meltdowns, because my classmates thought that was hilarious. I was a circus animal, in every sense of the word. Other fun stuff that happened to me in school was being asked out as a joke, being assaulted in gym class and being threatened with assault and bloody murder.

One particular story I remember takes place when I was in 7th grade. One of the popular girls asked me if I were a lesbian, and me, not knowing when to keep my mouth shut, said that I was not sure of my sexuality, and that there was a possibility I was not het. It quickly became the hottest meme that ever hit the school, and I was very heavily sexually harrassed over my statement. After four days of no peace, I decided I’ve had enough and attacked the girl. I ended up cracking her phone’s screen, and she promptly threw a fit and started playing the victim. Of course, she played the entire school, teachers included, like a piano, and I was demonized yet again.

At the time, I trusted my mother a lot, so you might wonder how she reacted to the whole thing… not ideally. She completely ignored that I was being subjected to homophobic harrassment, and instead just talked to her friends about how brave I was for being too autistic to know how to avoid giving my abusers ammunition. And yes, she chewed me out for cracking that phone screen. That was when I first realized my mother might not be as fantastic as everyone in my life had told me, and it would only get worse from that point on.

So how did I cope with being so heavily bullied? Not very well, mind you, but I still somehow survived. And I, knowing how pathetic this sounds, owe my life to the internet and my pets. I had a lot of wonderful animal friends. Those I loved the most include a Cocker Spaniel named Tim, a really fat mackerel tabby cat named Pikachu, a white cat with yellow/blue heterochromia named Kitty, and a gray tux cat named Pyret, who is still alive, actually! There was a time where Kitty was my absolute best friend. Kitty was a really antisocial and hissy cat, so it was all the more heartwarming that when no one really cared for me, at least I had a friend in a grouchy hissy cat who hated everyone else but me.

Unfortunately, that meant that Kitty despised other cats too, which became a problem when my family was forced to take in a new kitten back in 2012, the aforementioned Pyret. Kitty attacked Pyret whenever given the chance, and Pyret’s presence put Kitty in such a bad mood that she ended up attacking my at the time 9 year old sister. That was the point where my parents realized that the situation was going out of hand, so we took Kitty to the vet, and she was diagnosed with gastric cancer. The vet speculated that Kitty became unusually aggressive because she couldn’t handle her pain. There was nothing the vets could do, so Kitty had to be put to sleep.

Tim the Cocker Spaniel also suffered a similar fate: I was his very best friend, but one day, he got a disorder that affected the nerves in his eye area. That meant that slowly, his eyesight became much worse, and eventually, he recognized everyone as a threat, and reacted accordingly: aggressively. I was the only one who he could still recognize as a friend. Because of this, as well as the fact that he was clearly suffering, he had to be put to sleep as well.

Both of their deaths caused me great grief, but I’m still glad that I got to know these wonderful pets who helped me during the worst time of my life.

When it comes to coping using the internet, some of my fondest memories come from the website KPWebben, a website for a Swedish magazine directed at kids in the ages 8-15. From 2007 to 2012, the website had a community with a forum. I created a name around myself on said forum. I was spunky, snappy and not afraid to call the BS when I saw it. I was frequently questoning the authority in the moderators at the site, and I loved to make people think and question the reality around them. In many ways, on KPWebben I was allowed to be myself without facing consequences (from peers, mind you: the moderators loathed me). To some extent, I may have taken it too far, because I would often end up doing questionable things and create discourse around myself. I didn’t mind that much, though: I would much rather be known as the really cool and well spoken person that was a little too confident at times than as the human waste of space most people in meatspace saw me as.

This attitude actually gave me a lot of friends, including the person who is now my best friend and favorite person. I may have mellowed down a bit since my KPWebben days, but I still adore her.

Eventually, I graduated 9th grade and began secondary school, and somehow, I was bullied no more. But gradually, another problem surfaced in my life. My mother. Long story short, she was abusive to me. She isolated me from my friends, insulted me, and she expected me to have all the responsibility of an adult but none of the benefits. She was neglectful, as mentioned before, she wouldn’t listen to people who suspected I was autistic, and she never really cared about how I was suffering from being bullied. At times, she would even blame me for being bullied, much like my teachers would do. During this time, I realized that I was non-binary, and I had come out to my family, but my mother aggressively refused (and still refuses) to use my preferred pronouns, saying that ”it’s so hard :(” whenever I corrected her, and would scold me for correcting other people about my pronouns, because apparently me wanting to be referred to using my correct pronouns was embarrassing and annoying.

My mother also showed heavy favoritism towards Jakob and constantly compared me to him. Now, it is true that there’s only a 15 month age gap between him and I, so we are twins in everything but name. But Jakob is not me. Jakob is neurotypical and has not suffered the trauma I have. Jakob is an aspiring musician and while he hasn’t technically made a hit, he is talented and he probably will make it big. Being constantly compared to a person like that really hurts, especially when the people making these comparisions know you can’t become anywhere as good, and that they are just making these comparisions to make you feel bad about yourself.

While the bullying from my classmates was technically worse, what made my relationship with my mother so bad was the sense of betrayal. When I was younger, I thought that my mom was a real life super hero. She worked in politics and all of her motivations stemmed from her wish to make children’s lives better. She had made an extremely good name around herself, and she is a really likable person on the surface. So I didn’t know what I did wrong when she suddenly turned on me and all her talk about wanting to improve children’s lives went out the window. And her good reputation acted as a safety net as well, because no one believed me when I told them about what was going on beneath her facade.

My father was just not there. He was physically there, but he lacked a spine. He constantly enabled my mother’s disgusting actions, and always told me that she cared and that she doesn’t know how to raise me. Because a person with the kind of positive reputation my mother has cannot possibly raise an autistic child, right?

A lot of things happened to me in 2015. I was run over by a bus, for starters. I was on my way home from school, on my bike, when a bus appeared and ran over my left foot. The bus driver was breaking several traffic related laws, but they never faced any consequences despite me pressing the police to do so. The accident led to some minor fractures in the bones in my foot, but I was really lucky in that accident. It could have been so much worse. I’m still here, and able to walk, and that’s nothing short of a miracle.

I was also finally diagnosed with autism later that year, and I was enrolled on a boarding school for autistic people. This was a massive turning point in my life, because it let me move out at the age of 17 and escape the clutches of my mother. It’s far away enough from Helsingborg that my family can’t just visit me randomly, and I have my very own apartment. I still visit my family every other weekend and on breaks and such. I do miss my cat a lot while I’m here, but it’s a small price to pay for the peace and quiet and a place where no one really abuses me anymore.

There are however two downsides to this: I had be held back a year because my autism was making my studies suffer in 10th grade, before I moved to the boarding school, and I effectively won’t graduate until 2019. And Klowbi, my little sister, seems to be affected negatively by this change. We were pretty close to begin with, and me moving so far away when she was only 12 meant that she lost an otherwise ever-present friend. On top of that, she appears to be neurodivergent, but as I’m writing this, she has no access to therapy. And if that wasn’t bad enough, my mother appears to have moved on to abusing Klowbi instead of me. I don’t know too many details, since I don’t spend a lot of time with my family (and my mother seems to act as nice as she can in that slimy abusive way whenever I’m visiting). I try my very best to help my sister, because in my age, I did not have anyone who cared about me or my situation (that wasn’t an animal that couldn’t do a lot to help me), and I don’t want Klowbi to experience what I did.