#but like... i scrolled until maybe 2022 and sort of

[just-spacetrash]

😰

[zentloper-xmas]

Zentloper Xmas Letter 2022

Lo and behold– it’s a Christmas letter! Stunning! Magical! Magnificent!

Well, I hope that’s how you feel opening this. 😂 Before I write these things, I scroll through my photos and make a list (and check it twice *wink*) of what’s happened. It felt like very little had happened this year, until I did that scroll. Turns out, plenty’s happened! So lemme share some highlights...

Neil and I both got promoted! 🎉 Neil ocially became a Data Analyst in April of this year. He’s still at Amazon, and does a lot of audit-related stu at the warehouse to ensure accuracy and junk using various code. Maybe one day if we’re really lucky, they (or another company) will recognize his value and pay him appropriately, cuz right now he’s still making peanuts. 🥜 As for me, SEMI had an opening that was a 20% pay bump and more reliable hours, still WFH, so who could say no? I’ll admit, it’s not the kind of exciting job I prefer... like operating roller coasters🎢 or dancing up on stage, but I’m smart enough to recognize a good thing when I see it: a flexible, reliable gig like this will be really beneficial when we eventually have a newborn around. 🍼

We’ve gone all sorts of places this year, as my wanderlust is never quite satiated. In January (to get me, and the Prius Neil’s folks gifted us, back from Cali), Neil flew over and we road-tripped back to our Texas home, spending a couple nights at the Grand Canyon’s cabins. The snowfall was gorgeous! We also hit Roswell, NM to see some aliens 👽 and a unique “immersive art experience” known as MeowWolf.

Neil’s sister Martha had her thirtieth birthday in May, 🎂 and the whole fam planned ahead of time to convene in Denver, CO where she and her husband, Chase, live in order to celebrate the occasion. I particularly enjoyed dining at the fancy restaurant Chase worked at, Guard and Grace– known to be one of the best steakhouses in the world! In July I joined my parents in Las Vegas to attend FreedomFest, a gathering of so-called Libertarians (calling them “so-called” because many of them were not actually very good at practicing Libertarian principles... 🗽) for many thought provoking panels and discussions. In August I took my Etsy shop “on the road” for a Sonic fan convention in Dallas, where I sold lots of stickers and buttons and the like– I think I recouped the expense of the trip... maybe! 😜 Then in September we had a pleasant camping trip in north Houston as well as a Ren Faire in Bastrop.

Think I’m done? Not quite! Last month we drove through Lousianna, Alabama, and Mississippi to get to Florida (upping the # of states I’ve visited to 23) for Neil’s maternal grandmother’s service. While she passed mid-Feb 2020 and was cremated, her interment was planned out far in advance so all her children and their spouses could attend; Neil and I were also able to make time in our schedules to go. I’m glad we did. We were graciously given a room to stay at his Uncle Adam & Aunt Rox’s home, and they were fabulous about showing us around some of the sights FL had to oer (even in the midst of Hurricane Nicole), like gators 🐊 and the beach. I’m determined to take them up on their oer to come back to see Busch Gardens next time!

We sure get around for being complete homebodies, ha. As for the house in Buda, we now own a partial stake. After my brother and his family moved out and into their own place down in Schertz, my folks and us drafted up a FSBO in order to “go halfsies” on the place. Finally, some sweet sweet equity! In order to pull o this stunt, Neil and I legally tied the knot at the courthouse on June 3rd. 💍 Neato. We are still planning to do a ceremony with friends and family at some point. We’ll keep y’all posted!

I continue to flex my creative muscles, be it whipping up some new seasonal place settings for our dining table, decorating the garage for a spooky Trick-or-Treat walkthrough 🎃 for the neighbor kids, or taking on painting projects to spruce up the joint (next up: baby room!). Also this summer I ended up reading quite a few memoirs by transgendered individuals 🏳️‍⚧️ as research for something I’ve always wanted to do: write an autobiography. I’ve spent a lot of time flipping through all the journals I’ve kept over the years (on my 40th), scrounging through my keepsake boxes, sorting photographs (digital and film), and bugging relatives for info. I’ve got 66,000 words down so far and a lot more words to go. I never was one for brevity.

I’d been hoping to announce some surrogacy news in this letter (have I dropped enough hints in this letter?), but unfortunately there have been delays. When Roe v. Wade got overturned in the summer, it caused a fair amount of panic nationally. A lot of appointments got scheduled in the reproductive health space, so we’ve been trying to be patient as things progress. That said, there has been progress: We’ve selected an agency to represent us, set up an escrow, and our potential surrogate is in the process of medical screening. Best case, it’s possible we could have a young one joining us late in 2023, but I don’t want to make promises when so many of the factors are out of our control. Can I take this moment to say, man, heteronormative couples have it easy... Just *boink* and baby!

In this increasingly digital world, I’ve decided to catalogue these Christmas letters 🎄online. So if you’d like to see letters from years past without digging them out of the shoebox you assuredly keep under your bed like me, or if you weren’t on our mailing list yet when I began in 2017, you can by going to the following blog:

https://zentloper-xmas.tumblr.com/

You may even see some bonus photos there for this year!

Lots of love, y’all, and Merry Christmas!

Rick & Neil

[or-something-better]

Pamela’s Audition

May 10, 2022

Charlie

(I’ll send in the first point so you can read it :) it’s fairly simple

1. Sam and Charlie have been trying to get to the bottom of a case they’d been working on. Sam is getting frustrated because he can’t find anything in the lore. Charlie asks if he might have any contacts that could help, since the lore was getting them nowhere. Sam thinks for a minute and says he knows a psychic, and she had always been pretty reliable. Charlie asks if they should go see her and Sam grabs his car keys.

Pamela

Good morning

Sam

I'm ready and excited to snap this one up

Gabe

We let you out of witness protection for this lol no worries Dean isn’t around

Sam

Dean-free space😃

Pamela

Awesome

Gabe

Admin safe space

Charlie

Let me know when you’re ready and we can start

Pamela

Ready

Gabe

I’ll stop 😂

…………………………………………..

Charlie

scrolling through a page on my laptop, nothing is coming up so I sigh heavily and click on to the next page

Sam

I slam the book I’m looking through closed and toss it onto a pile of like books on the table in front of me. Rubbing my eyes in frustration, I look over at Charlie shaking my head. I’ve been over all of these at least 3 times now and there’s just nothing here…

Charlie

I jump at the outburst well then Mr Winchester, got any contacts that may be of use??

Sam

Contacts? I think about those that immediately come to mind, like Garth and Bobby, quickly dismissing them both as having access to all the same information that I’ve already searched. Then my mind lands on someone who’s unconventional gifts might just be able to help us out. You know what, Charlie. I think that I might… I sort of know this psychic, Pamala Barns, according to Bobby she’s the best damn psychic in the state. If she can contact someone on the other side about what’s going on, we might just get what we need.

Charlie

raising my eyebrows  I never thought palm readers were your style… but ok Sam. Let’s go

Sam

I grab the Charger keys and we head out. Pulling into the yard in front of Pamala’s cozy little cabin, I turn off the car and point it out. Well, this is it, you know I guess maybe we should have called first. shrugs But I didn’t think about that until just now… so, let’s go see what she says. Just hopes she doesn’t throw me off the property.

Pamela

looks out the window. Mmm tight buns is here

Charlie

Well… now or never. Let’s go knock

Sam

we need #2

Charlie

(Left room for you to greet and meet us how you like)

Sam

Sorry I jumped it with my "we're there" post

…………………………………..

2. Sam and Charlie pull up to a cozy looking little cabin, and Sam says they are here. Getting out of the car they knock on the door, Pamela answers. After questioning why, they were here, and remarking about how whenever she helps a Winchester something bad happens. Charlie pleads with her, and she relents, inviting them inside.

…………………………………….

Charlie

(Very little sleep I grabbed the wrong one lol)

Sam

((sorry sorry, I'll behave from now on promise))

Charlie

(I’ll give Becky a whip)

Sam

😂

Sam

I knock on the door

Pamela

Hello Sam. And who’s your friend? hugging Sam and pats his ass Hi hun I'm Pam. What can I do for you guys? thinking I really don't want to help what trouble are we getting into now?

Sam

Hi Pamala Accepts the hug and hand grab with mild embarrassment I wasn't sure you'd remember me... This is Charlie… a little sheepish about asking, but no way around it since we’ve already driven all the way here. Look, we were hoping that maybe you’d be willing to help us out with something?

Pamela

making a joke oh boy. What am I gonna lose now? Let's see what ya got for me.

Totally skipped Charlie… Charlie.. sorry

Sam

((That happens, I get so excited with the story that I just wanna keep going))

Charlie

sigh I know better than anyone how the Winchesters bring trouble, but if you would be so kind as to help us just this once…. I promise in one way or another we will make it up to you. Right Sammy?

Sam

Ri...right, absolutely

Pamela

Alright. showing them to my séance room have a seat. Show me what you got.

…………………………………

3. Sam shares a bit about the demon they had been tracking and lost sight of. Pam is wary as channeling demons could be dangerous. Charlie shows Pam the exorcism page of her notebook, telling her she is all prepared if something goes wrong. Pam leads the two to the table where she begins a séance to see if she can channel someone with information.

Sam

The house looks exactly like I remembered it, over-packed with things and the round séance table in the center of the room. So... we’ve been tracking this demon that’s gone outside the norm for Crossroads deals lately. Even for demons he’s bad news, taking younger and younger victims each time. We’ve been through the lore and were just hoping you could get us a name, or maybe which more powerful demon, holds his chain.

Pamela

grabs Sam’s hand hold hands everyone. starts the séance

Pamela

On a clean altar cloth place a small bowl filled with fresh herbs. Around the perimeter of the cloth, place black and white candles alternating and equal in number. When all of the candles are lit, recite the following:

             Amate spiritus obscure te quaerimus.

            Te oramus, nobiscum colloquere apud nos circita.

At the finish of the incantation, pinch a tiny amount of frankincense over one of the candle flames.

Charlie

(Ok miss I have no imagination! Great job 😂)

Pamela

Google babes! Lmao

Charlie

(That’s what we all do)

Pamela

Trying to be I. Character. I LOVE Pam. I wanna do well. Lol

Sam

((has a committed relationship with my google mini)

……………………………………..

4. They join hands and Pam starts asking for someone with information to come forward. The lights start to flicker and Charlie jumps. Pam tells her to stay still or it wouldn’t work. Charlie settles back down as Pam continues talking to the spirits when one comes forth and says the name “Belphegor”, the table begins to shake and Pam passes out. Sam jumps up to assist her and finds her only sleeping. Sam Carrie’s her to bed and locks the door as he and Charlie leave

Sam

Lights inside the room begin to flicker.

Charlie

(You are!!!)

Charlie

I jump and almost let go of Pam’s hand

Pamela

Stay sitting hun. Nothing to worry about. Hold on I’m getting something. table starts shaking Belthagor. who is that as I thought. And fell back out of my chair. Passed out

Sam

Pamala! Jumping up from the table, I run to her and quickly check her out. Very relieved to see that she’s only sleeping. She’s okay, Charlie Happy that this time nothing terrible happened to Pamala from helping us, I gently pick her up and carry her into the only bedroom of the house and lay her out on her bed.

Gabe

Pamela?

Pamela

Yes...

Charlie

(Everyone speaks to you with hesitation…. I don’t get it )

Gabe

After a long deliberation we’ve decided you’re right . Your lack of imagination is appealing and we just don’t think your personality is going to work out here. (I’m an ass 😂)

Charlie

You really are 😂

Gabe

We appreciate your middling attempt, but we just don’t think it’s going to work out . Maybe making tshirts is something you should stick to.

Sam

IS SOOOO an ass

Gabe Not really, Welcome to the Family

[shipskicksandgiggles]

dialogue prompts

New Year, New Prompt List!

well, sort of. last year, I started writing down the weird or funny shit people said around me and that I occasionally contributed to and turned it into a prompt list, and since it's a new year, I figured what better way to celebrate? you know the drill, send in a number and a ship/dynamic/character, or reblog this and have fun!

(btw this is college prompts pt. 3, second year fall semester edition. the first two lists from this series are here and here)

have a good 2022 folks,I can't wait to see what you come up with

“Hey, can we get a fish?” “We don’t have room for a fish.”

“Look, I didn’t believe you were a heavy sleeper until I didn’t realize you were asleep and I accidentally slammed the door and you didn’t even move.”

“That man looks and sounds like Bill Nye the Science Guy.”

“Sorry I’m wearing a tuxedo shirt, I was doing close up magic earlier.”

“Yeah, I have a pigeon. She’s an asshole.”

“As long as it doesn’t catch on fire, you can have it, and if it does catch on fire, that’s none of my business.”

“My astronomy professor gave us dating advice.” “Is it good dating advice?” “I don’t know, do you want to go watch a meteor shower with me?”

“There’s a stop sign on that door.” “Yeah, the people who live there stole it.”

“I just heard a girl yell ‘stop’ at a guy squeaking his shoes and I am 80% sure they don’t know each other.”

“It ‘hit different’ as the kids say.”

“I’m going to murder Plato.” “Plato’s dead.” “You say that like it’ll stop me.”

“No, shut the fuck up. Did you just call me Nicholas Cage?”

“Who just casually speaks Russian? For what reason?”

“Don’t look at me like that.” “It’s 80 degrees and you’re wearing a sweatshirt.” “I run cold!”

“Okay so-” “Ooh they’re about to get into it.” “I'm ignoring you. Okay SO-”

“You ever have a dream so good you wake up with a low blood sugar?”

“It’s 40°, why do you have a fan running?” “The noise.” “You’re getting a noise maker for Christmas. I can't do this anymore.”

“I’ve been lying through my teeth all week and I’m not happy about it.” “You can’t lie.” “I know.”

“He’s from Indiana.” “Do I look like I care?”

“Hey can I borrow this?” “Yeah, what for?” “You’ll see.” “Are you doing something illegal?” “… No?”

“Never have I ever driven a pickup truck.” “Did you just say get hit by a pickup truck?” “No, I’ve done that before.”

“Do you have an Instagram?” *obviously scrolling through Instagram* “No.”

“I just blew on a pencil with my mask on like that was going to do anything.”

“Were you a band kid? Or a choir kid maybe?” “Yeah, how did you know?” “You have this specific look in your eye, sort of like fear. It’s obvious to someone who’s been through the same thing.”

“Look, am I stupid? Yes. Is the guy I have a crush on somehow stupider? Yes.”

“Don’t eat peacocks.”

“Shit!” “Gosh darn it!” “Sorry!” “I’ve never actually heard you swear before.”

“If you say the word ‘buttress’ one more time, I’m going to throw you out of a window.”

“That’s not what an obelisk is, shut up.”

“No, I can’t do this, I know French, I can’t listen to this-“

“Did you just say ‘raw banana’?”

“Permission to hug?” “Granted.” “Oh fuck my ribs.”

“We all know Zuckerberg isn’t human.”

“Can I borrow your brain?”

“Um?” “Oh, sorry, yeah, I can pick up weaponry and learn how to use it really fast.” “UM???”

“I don’t think we realized how much you talk until you physically couldn’t. Please get your voice back, it's too quiet.”

“Hey, want to cause some chaos?” “Do you need to ask? Obviously.”

“You said you weren’t going to be gay, and then you were. Congratulations dumbass.”

“Look, I listened to a podcast about skinwalkers in the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep.” “Oh yeah, bad idea.”

“Where are you going?” “Evelavor’s haunted.” “What?” “ELEVATOR’S HAUNTED.”

[everygame]

Flicky (Arcade)

Developed/Published by: Sega Released: 5/1984 Completed: 02/07/2022 Completion: Finished all 48 stages. Version Played: Astro City Mini Trophies / Achievements: n/a

So! I’ve had an Astro City Mini for a while (since it was decently discounted on the ol’ Amazon Japan) and not really done much with it except dip in and out of the odd game, and so I was excited that after finishing TwinBee I’d finally get to play the first game on it in my list chronologically, Sega Ninja!

Until I checked the system and realised that I’d made a mistake in my spreadsheet and Flicky actually came out in 5/198*4* not 5/1985, placing it first, and a contemporary of games such as King’s Quest (which I, uh, also missed at the time) and Tower of Druaga. Coming, in fact, well before Mappy on the NES, which I not-particularly-memorably referred to as “The game my brain always puts in the same bucket as Flicky, wrong or rightly.”

Anyway, it turns out rightly because (at least according to Wikipedia) Flicky came from Sega’s “desire to exceed Namco's Mappy” which originally came out in arcades in 1983.

And guess what! They did!

Flicky is a simpler game than Mappy, and in my mind, all the better for it. It’s a basic collect-em-up–collect all the wee birdies and take them back to the exit–but it’s actually got a fascinating decision at the heart of it: it’s a single-screen platformer in that you can see the entire level on one screen, it wraps-around, but it scrolls meaning that the level somehow feels about three times as large as it is. You almost don’t realise it’s a single screen game! (Or maybe I'm just an idiot.)

I’d be interested to know why this decision was made–was it just to scroll like Mappy? Or was it intentionally done to avoid that annoying thing where you get killed transitioning between sides by an enemy you can’t see? Either way it’s a spark of minor genius.

It’s not all gravy though. Flicky herself has a touch too much floaty inertia, and while jumping onto platforms is nothing like the insane bullshit you have to put up with in Ice Climber, there’s a ton of head-bumping and wall-bouncing to be had making the game progressively more annoying as the levels get tighter and more complex; there’s a pretty remarkable 48 levels in this, but the last five or so are… very irritating.

Plus, artist Yoshiki Kawasaki apparently drew this on a “poorly calibrated graphics tablet” and you can kind of tell. All the art just seems sort of messy; there’s a charm to it, but in movement, you’ve got to give it to Mappy. While simpler, it’s crisper and more readable.

Flicky is still a ton of fun, though (well, for about 42 levels) with really nice score attack potential; you’re not just trying to get Flicky’s chicks back to the exit but get them back in one go, and while they fly behind Flicky, if a cat touches them they’ll scatter, requiring you collect them again, made harder by the fact that some chicks (with sunglasses, hilariously) will immediately run off. You get a bonus for doing levels as quickly as possible, too, which can be traded off against trying to knock down cats with the objects Flicky can pick up and… flick at them.

(Weirdly, Flicky does that when she jumps, which feels like something that would be better on a second button, but I think it’s intentional rather than a way to save, uh, the cost of a button–because you can’t jump with a weapon, you might have to wait for a cat to reach you, or just move unnaturally for a while not to use it, either costing your precious seconds. Cerebral!)

If I had any more complaints it’s probably just that with 42 levels Flicky is a bit too easy at first (the first ten levels are quickly a doddle) but it’s hardly the worst thing in the world. To be honest, playing this made me a bit sad that Flicky got so quickly relegated to being “that bird Sonic rescues”. Put some respect on her name!

(Which was originally “Busty” until someone pointed out that’s… not a good name. What were they thinking?)

Will I ever play it again? I’ll be quite happy to play it if I ever see it in the arcade, and if they stuck it on the Mega Drive Mini 3 or something I’d play it, it’s solid.

Final Thought: Actually speaking of the Mega Drive version the box art of the western version is absolutely seared in my mind. It’s terrifying! Protect your babies, Flicky!!! Compare it to the Japanese art for the SG-1000 version… Stop abusing that cat, Flicky!

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi, either via a one-off donation (pay what you like) or by joining as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[ft-dads-au]

Lazy Afternoon

Femslash Fairies 2020 Prompt: Hanahaki Pairing: Erza x Mirajane

A Collaboration by @mdelpin​ and @oryu404​ AO3 | FF.Net

June 11, 2022

Mira stood by the living room window of Erza’s house, glaring at the rain and willing it to stop. She’d been looking forward to the day they’d had planned. One that included walking around the city, maybe doing a bit of shopping before having lunch at one of the many outdoor cafes. A new bakery had opened too, and she’d been dying to take Erza there, knowing her girlfriend loved cakes even more than she did flowers.

And that was saying something, Mira grinned to herself, looking around and noting the number of flower arrangements that decorated Erza’s home. She could never bear to throw the unsold flowers away, so she brought them home with her, claiming she needed to practice her arranging skills. Mira knew better, though. Being abandoned as a child had caused Erza to see the value of things others might have discarded, and that was something Mira deeply admired about her.

With the rain dampening their plans, Erza had got some work done, planning out orders for her shop and looking through invoices, leaving Mira bored to tears. She grabbed her phone, skimming through some newer stories that had posted on her favorite fanfiction site and holding on to the hope that the day would soon clear up.

After much scrolling, she found one that sounded interesting. It was about a disease called Hanahaki.

Hanahaki Disease? What’s that?

The name was interesting, it sort of translated to throwing up flowers which seemed odd for a romance story. Peering up at Erza and seeing that she was still looking at the same invoice, Mira sighed and settled in to read.

She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt Erza’s hand on her shoulder. Mira looked up and saw the concern in Erza’s eyes and cried harder.

“Why are you crying?” Erza asked, enveloping her in an embrace, and glancing curiously at Mira’s phone. She snorted when she recognized the site.

“Were you reading fanfics again?”

“Yeah, but this one was fantastic. Well, sad, but good.”

“What was it about?” Erza settled in on the sofa facing Mira, her long fingers threading through Mira’s hair as she listened to her girlfriend talk.

“It was about this disease called Hanahaki. This girl was in love with another, but she didn’t think the girl loved her back and her despair was such that it caused flowers to grow in her lungs and she would cough out petals.”

“That doesn’t sound sad, just gross,” Erza teased.

“No, it gets worse. Since she thought the other girl didn’t love her, the disease got worse and worse until she couldn’t breathe and the only way to save her was to have surgery to remove the roots, but then she would forget all her feelings for her love and she might never love again. She died rather than have that happen.”

“Wow, that sounds contrived, not to mention a huge waste of flowers,” Erza muttered, giggling as Mira swatted her on the shoulder.

“Oh my God, Erza, you’re worse than your brother.”

Erza grinned before asking, “So the girl died without her happy ending?”

“Yeah, and once the other girl found out, she realized that she had loved her all along,” Mira sniffled.

“Well, it’s a good thing nothing like that will ever happen to us.”

Erza’s eyes twinkled with mischief as she leaned in to kiss both of Mira’s cheeks, “Because I intend to show you how I feel, every day,” she added, giving Mira a long lazy kiss to prove her point.

It wasn’t long before they were both laid out on the couch, that first kiss paving the way for many others,and when the sun finally came out, Mira found she didn’t care anymore. She was perfectly content to spend a lazy afternoon with Erza in her arms.

@femslashfairies​

[btsybrkr]

2020 Vision: What To Expect From The Next Decade (By Someone Who Has No Idea, Obviously.)

Happy New Year, all!! I had planned to do a little run-down last week of everything that happened in the 2010s, but instead succumbed to the existential struggle that comes with the week that follows Christmas Day, in which your time becomes largely swallowed up by asking yourself ‘what day is it?’ and ‘at what point am I supposed to stop living on a diet of alcohol and Quality Street?’. It’s festive purgatory, and you’re literally powerless to do anything other than sleep, eat, and moan that the shops are still playing Christmas music. That’s my excuse, anyway.

So, instead, I thought we’d say a collective “cinnabit, lad” to 2019 and a collective “what is UP, dude?” to the Roaring 20s 2.0, the only sequel that humanity has waited a whole 100 years for. Apart from Avatar 2, which I imagine will come out at some point in the 3020s.  What do we know so far about what the 2020s have in store for us? Obviously, not a lot, but as someone who successfully predicted the outcome of the last election, and the UK’s last four Eurovision losses - two things which I’m sure absolutely nobody ever saw coming - I thought I’d give out my own valuable speculation. Here’s what the 2020s might look like, according to me.

Politics

Let’s get it out of the way - we’re in a terrible state. At this point, every important issue is so divisive, that the nation is divided over everything, including whether we’re actually divided or not. Do I think we’ll become any less divided in the coming years, in a United Kingdom where the conversation is so often dominated by things we can absolutely never seem to agree on? Yes. We will have no choice. Why? 

All-out war.

Yes, I said it. In 2021, there will be all-out war. With America, probably. I don’t know why. Maybe Trump will get into an argument with Boris Johnson over who can manage to effortlessly look the most like a Viz caricature of themselves - they both already do somehow, I’m just saying they might disagree on which one of them is the best at it. Could be that, or possibly a more serious cause, to do with nuclear weapons or something, but I’d rather not think about that, because it’s not as funny as the Viz thing. And it’s more likely. So, we’ll pretend for now that we’re on the verge of the first pantomime, slapstick war the world has ever seen.

Anyway, while Trump and Johnson are beefing up a storm - picture Punch and Judy, except the puppets are in suits and have thinning, bright yellow hair - previously all-encompassing issues like Brexit will fall by the wayside, until Boris Johnson eventually decides to hand his notice in to focus on more important things, like beating Trump with a wooden spoon and chasing after the dog that stole all his sausages. After this, we’ll all come together to realise that if actual elected officials can’t do the job, then maybe we, the people, deserve our chance to test our political metal. Obviously, we can’t let just anybody have a go, but at the end of the year, Cosmopolitan magazine puts the traditional democratic process at number one on its ‘Leave It In 2021’ list, so we have absolutely no choice but to come up with something else, which brings me to...

Television And Film

2022 will start with a bang, with the debut of Simon Cowell’s new talent show format, So You Think You Can Be The Prime Minister?, hosted of course by Ant and Dec, with the aftershow on ITV2 being hosted by Jeremy Paxman. Contestants will line up in huge crowds to give judges Russell Brand, Susanna Reid, and, of course, Jesus S. Cowell himself (forgot to mention, Simon Cowell has been elected as the new Christ in this completely non-hypothetical universe, alright?) their opinions on hot political topics such as Brexit, the NHS, and, of course, whether a Jaffa Cake can really be classed as a biscuit or not. Each episode, contestants will take part in a live debate, themed around a different issue with every passing week. The two least popular contestants after the weekly phone vote will go head-to-head giving their own rendition of Running The World by Jarvis Cocker, with the worst performer being eliminated. I know a sing-off isn’t exactly relevant in a politics programme, but it’s Saturday night primetime so it’s still got to be at least somewhat entertaining, yeah?

Love Island will be back, of course - and not just with a Summer and Winter edition, but with an additional Spring and Autumn one for the 2024 schedule! This will be a win-win situation for the series producers, and for its viewers, as by 2027, ITV will run out of attractive under-35s to appear on the show, and members of the public will begin getting called up to appear - like with jury duty, except that ITV pay for you to have extensive cosmetic surgery first, so that you’re aesthetically pleasing enough for people to want to tune in, and so that you can maintain a successful career selling Bootea on Instagram afterwards. 

Films will also go through a renaissance in the 2020s, as the Hollywood big boys come to a conclusion that everything has just become a little too… blockbuster. To remedy this, they make the joint decision that, 100 years on, we should take ourselves back to the silent film era, which will surely create hundreds of jobs for mute people, therefore solving Hollywood’s problems with a lack of diversity in film. It’ll also give well-known TikTok creators a chance to make the leap into mainstream entertainment, as they’ll have spent so long lip-synching over the years that they’ll now be more qualified to star in these new golden age pictures than actual trained actors. Obviously, that sounds absolutely beyond comprehension, but look at Count Orlok in 1922’s Nosferatu. See his slender limbs, blank stare, gothic dress sense - in a way, he’s the original e-boy, and there’s plenty of them out there on TikTok now that could play the titular vampire just as well in a 100th anniversary remake, just with less neck-biting and more lip-biting. Trust me, it’ll be a hit.

Technology

Throughout the 2010s, there’s been a lot of talk about everyone spending too much time on their bloody phones, so, in 2024, Apple will try to combat this issue when they unveil perhaps their most innovative product to date - the iPhone XZ+, a phone which exists solely in the mind of its users. Not in a Black Mirror, chip-inside-your-brain sort of way, either. It is literally imaginary. It’s a phone that, instead of being a phone, is actually just the concept of a phone. Yes, for the small cost of £1,500 and six units of your own soul, you, too, can block the rest of the world out. How amazing is that? No more wasting hours of your day keeping in touch with friends and family. No more accessing a wealth of information, wherever you are, with a quick Google. No more blocking out the sound of cackling pre-teens on the bus by putting in your earphones and listening to music. These things are bad and must be stopped, before we become an entire species of communicating, bopping, learning zombies.

I think those must be bad things anyway, since you can rarely go a few seconds scrolling through social media without stumbling across a ‘woke’ meme about how the use of smartphones is destroying us, one notification at a time - memes which I’m absolutely sure were created and posted from a book or a potato or something. Otherwise they’d just be hypocritical, wouldn’t they?

Anyway, the iPhone XZ+. It’s the only thing you need inside your head this decade. Apart from a very real ever-growing sense of fear and doom, which you can get for free.

Sport

The next decade will see the Olympics and Paralympics take place in 2020, 2024 and 2028, as well as the Winter equivalents to both in 2022 and 2026. You’d think we’d be all Olympic-ed out with that, but in the absence of anything else that gets people feeling remotely patriotic in a purely nice way, the world will decide to come together to throw scaled-down, low-budget Olympic games in all the off-years this decade. 

Summer 2021 will see the start of the first ever Not-The-Actual-Olympics. Marked by a glamourous opening ceremony in a field in Loughborough, the opening will feature a series of performances from stars such as H from Steps, and will be attended by some people who aren’t the royal family, but really do look like them. Taking place over the 10-week long games will be thumb wars, arm wrestling, staring contests, and an exciting event in which competitors try to eat the most HobNobs they possibly can without the help of a glass of water to combat the extreme dry-mouth they end up with. It might sound underwhelming now, but if there turns out to be any truth in the other predictions I’ve made here, it might be just what you need to restore your faith in the everyday.

Happy New Year, Everyone

In all seriousness - not that the rest of this isn’t serious, because it is, and is definitely all going to happen - whatever the coming years bring, it’s important to remember that we have to take the good with the bad, to look after ourselves and each other, and to enjoy each day as much as we possibly can, even during the bits of life that leave us feeling a little less Gangnam Style than we did way back in 2012. Thanks, everyone, for reading my blog. I’ll be back again in a week or so to talk absolute arse about something else. Until then, I hope you all had a great 2019, and have an even better start to 2020. Cheers!

[im-justine-b]

things i’m afraid to admit but have to

Year 2022, October 31st.

Thoughts from October 30th.

I actually don’t know what should be the right process for my healing. I don’t wanna waste time and the last two months of this year so I am trying to make the right thing and I guess it starts here. Maybe my actual therapy is this. Writing. Expressing. All while listening to this song that’s so depressing but actually comforts me.

♪ tired - beabadoobee

When I start to do things, like cleaning, that’s where all thoughts pour down, thinking I should probably write these thoughts down after this, then when I am finally in front of the screen, they vanish and I’m having a hard time starting talking. It’s like, it suddenly becomes  an essay assignment. So I decided to just let these thoughts out until they’re ready to flow again.

Yesterday, when I checked my facebook with my main account, scrolling down, i saw a friend suggestion and it’s her. in different name and i checked it, it’s a cosplay account she said, it was recently made. (October 30th)

made me think she saw my dummy accounts too if i saw hers.

I started having mild flashes, rapid heartbeat and deep breaths. I am still not okay. I said.

I tried to mind my emotions. But I refused coz i want them to be written down here so I can evaluate them better. So I can understand myself better. So I can ask myself better.

Why did i felt that?

Why is it so heavy in the heart and suffocating?

Seeing her name, her face, or even things that aligns with her.

But for that moment  that I saw her with that cosplay account, why did it bother me? why did it even made me feel that bad?

at that moment I am thinking, maybe I’m bothered to see her do something better than me. I dont know i can’t put it into right words yet. I don’t want her to be better than me, in all sorts of aspect, my thought.

Then I remembered that she’s been cosplaying anime even before. I remember how I find her cute with her kakegurui acts. I remember I was one of those reactors. I was once liked everything she does. I find her cute that she likes anime that much. I remembered how much I supported her with her pictured back then.

I was once of those people who believed with her facebook facade.

Then it made me realize that this feeling, this ugly feeling, is not about her. It’s not about her existence. It’s not about her name. Her face. it’s about what she did. It’s about what they did. It hurt me. It wasn’t fine. If someone betrays me and i did not expressed how that betrayal affects me, their existence haunts me. same case with jamie. and she’s a new one.

But that moment, I am tired. I am tired feeling this heavy towards her. That’s why i wanna heal from her. I wanna heal from the betrayal she did. I wanna heal from the insecurity she unlocked inside me. It is painful. It is ugly. She bothers me, that’s the fact. I’m afraid she’ll think she won over me. I’m afraid I’ll seem less cool about everything. I don’t want her to be better than me at all. Her ignorance irks me and it doubles the anger because of the fact that i am affected and it is “less cool”. As much as i wanna look cool about everything, im not. Im not cool seeing her name on facebook. Im not cool seeing her face on facebook. Im not cool seeing her dumb posts in it. I am affected with everything connected to her.

and as uncool as all of these may seem, I have to admit them. I have to admit all these ugly feelings and thoughts I had, I have, Im gonna have.

But it’s getting tiring. I wanna face these ugliness already. People around me surely thinks she’s not even an inch compared to me. They know I am so much better. And I know that too. I am well aware with that too. And that thoughts i think, is one of the reason why things still feel ugly with her. Maybe because when i get an ugly feeling in concerns with her, my inner self fights back with that feeling, invalidates it with thinking that

i am better than her, i should not feel this way.

i am better than her, this feeling is wrong.

feeling this ugly means she’s better than me.

being this affected means she won.

but maybe, it’s wrong. maybe it’s not really that bad if i feel things about her. She’s the one he betrayed me with. I am allowed to feel ugly about her. I am allowed to feel bitter. I am allowed to be affected. I am in the highest seat to be affected. They betrayed me. If i don’t feel this shitty it’s either I’m crazy or didn’t loved clark.

But I wanna let go of these ugly feeling already.

I am tired feeling this shitty.

So, justine. What do you think?

do you still need time?

At this moment, i just had the thought to message her. To talk. Maybe things will result good. But the i realized how she thinks. no thanks.

Maybe there are things that don’t need closure. or words to be settled. Maybe that’s what i have to learn in this tough time.

do i still need time?

with my my hatred, insecurities, all these ugly feelings attached to her.

what am i gonna do. with you. with your name. with your face. with your existence.

where should i place you?

then i realized.

you never said sorry.

*sudden cries*

you were never apologetic.

you owe me an apology.

forever.

because you will never realize you should be sorry to me.

and maybe. maybe. that’s the part missing.

you never said sorry.

maybe one day will come that i’ll be able to forgive you despite of it.

[graceedingess]

Day of Social Media

As technology has advanced tremendously in the 21st century, and smartphones being owned by 91% of the world, media and social media has been heavily ingrained into almost everyone’s lives. For myself, being a 22 year old who grew up in the social media era, social media is a huge part of my life. I was asked to track my media use for a day, and was curious to see the outcome. I tracked my usage on Monday, October 17th, 2022. 

As soon as I woke up at 8:00, I immediately reached for my phone. I first went through my texts I received while I was sleeping, then looked at my notifications I also got through the night. I then scrolled through TikTok. This whole morning social media use lasted around 25 minutes until I had to get ready for my internship. I took this time on social media because I find it relaxing to start my mornings with my cup of coffee and watching TikTok; sort of like how my dad watches early morning news before he goes to work. It’s a way for me to prepare and relax before my busy day ahead.  

After this, I really didn’t use media a lot other than my adobe programs on my laptop for my internship. I would check my phone for texts here and there but didn’t scroll through apps because I simply did not have the time. My internship ended at 1:30, and so did my media fast. As soon as I got home, I immediately started checking all my socials. I think I felt like doing this to make sure I didn’t “miss” anything. As soon as I was satisfied with looking through my Instagram, emails, Snapchat, and Facebook, I started watching T.V., and as I was watching a show, I was also scrolling through TikTok. I think this use of social media was again a form of relaxation. I just spent a significant time doing nonstop work, this was my way to decompress and chill out a bit before I had to go to work.

 Today work was nannying; this job is not as busy as my internship or my serving job, sometimes even boring, which is another trigger for my social media use. I scrolled through Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok while I waited for the kids to get out of school. I then had to do somethings around the house of the family I nanny for, so I stayed off my phone for around an hour, then again, scrolled through my social media; Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and Facebook, while I waited to take one of the kids to her basketball tryouts at 5:45. I felt like using media because I was bored, and needed a distraction while I waited for the time to pass. After 5:45, I was driving around, dropping off and picking up the kids from different activities, so I wasn’t on my phone. I dropped them off at home at 7:30, went home, then was back to it. I scrolled again through the usual apps for around twenty minutes before doing things such as showering, making myself dinner, and working on homework, but during these tasks (besides maybe showering), I would pick up my phone here and there. The 20 minutes as I got home was again for relaxation and decompressing, but the usage during tasks felt mainly out of habit. I also had some shows on during these tasks as a bit of entertainment and background noise. After I completed my nightly routine, I laid in bed and scrolled for about 40 minutes before I put my phone on the charger and went to bed.

Looking back at my media usage this day, I was somewhat pleasantly surprised. Although I by no means abstained from media, I feel my screen time was slightly under average. Most of my screen time was for the purpose of relaxing or out of boredom, some out of habit. As a person who likes to “stay connected”, especially with my peers, there is no escaping social media, nor do I want to, but I do think I could continue to be aware of my usage and not spend too much time out of my day looking at a screen. 

[psicygni]

It's 2022 in the Another Shot universe. What are McCoy, and Harold (ok, fine, Spock) and Jim and Nyota up to? :)

OH GOSH are you truly ready, my friend??

(for you kids in the back who want to follow along, read it here!)

Post that phone call at the end (spoiler alert, they talked for 2 hours up until the flight attendant was leaning over McCoy telling him to shut his damn phone off, sir, thank you (whatever, the fact he and spock were still talking helped him forget he was about to fly in the air) (spock was freezing in that park and both wanted to die and also to never hang up)), they had a very tenuous and sassy relationship of snark-filled texts that came in waves of either a bunch in the course of a single day or nothing for a week… a week they each spent convinced the other one had grown bored, moved on, met someone, etc etc, with lots of checking their phone even though they knew nothing was there, and forlornly scrolling back through previous texts and attempting to figure out a suitably casual message to send that properly conveyed: I want to spend my entire day talking to you but I don’t actually want you to know that.

McCoy is utterly sure Spock is banging several dozen dudes (he’s not).  Spock is utterly sure McCoy has found someone - anyone - better than him and as is only reasonable, has moved on to fairer pastures (he hasn’t).  Both of them are entirely frustrated they can’t even begin to forget about the handful of hours they spent together over the course of two days and torture themselves by continuing to keep in contact instead of cutting ties like they tell themselves they should.  Do they talk on the phone?  Maybe.  If they do, do their conversations last for hours? Definitely.  Is it more intensely personal than most conversations they have with anyone else in their life? You bet your butt it is.  Does it happen often?  Not nearly as often as either of them would be down for.  Is the entire conversation 90% sarcasm? 99% would be more accurate.

Queue: McCoy moving to SF, as we all knew he would.  Things that happen include:

Waiting until awkwardly the last minute to let Spock know he’s heading out there

Interviewing for jobs during which Spock attempts (and fails) to not ogle McCoy in a suit

They have no idea where they stand with each other and solve their feelings of discomfort by both being enormous assholes who throw lingering stares across the room

McCoy finds a job.  Then, he finds a place to live (let’s have him staying with Jim for the interim because he’s not quite able to ask Spock if he can bang his brains out crash with him).  He’s convinced himself that Spock is definitely getting some on the reg. and doesn’t want McCoy in the picture.  Spock’s sure that if McCoy wanted anything with him, he’d have said literally anything to indicate that.

(In the meantime while they are busy getting in their own way, things that occur are 1) Spock finds out McCoy is not just a doctor but he’s a Doctor and kind of a Big Deal in the medicine world (which I know nothing about so just nod along with me here) and hospitals are falling over themselves to have him which makes everything so much worse for Spock because um, can you say hot single doctor?? 2) McCoy finds out that everyone joking about Spock being a genius is not a joke at all and is uncomfortable in the pants region every time Spock starts talking, 3) they spend an Unfortunate Amount of Time together because both are determined to be absolutely and utterly casual and are both winning their private game of caring less and what better way to do that than be absolutely blasé that the other one is hanging around).

And then, of course, their carefully constructed ~thing~ crashes and burns and if it’s weird I have so many head canons for my own story I don’t want to know it, because the thing that happens is: innocuous hang out of the entire gang at McCoy’s (are they helping him move? New couch? Something like that? Maybe.), Jim orders pizza, filches Spock’s wallet to pay for it, and of course doesn’t hand it back, so several hours later, the scene is: mccoy finding spocko’s wallet, Spock elsewhere in the city patting his pockets and very logically cursing Jim Kirk, and McCoy texting him to come back and get it ONLY TO REALIZE that he could have just dropped it at the cafe in the morning, and Spock literally jetting back across the city slowly realizing the same thing. Spock protests he didn’t mean to leave it behind. McCoy is too busy trying to be super casual about the fact that they’re actually alone. together. in private. 

They talk. They snark. They flirt. They bang. The end. 

Just kidding, defo not the end. They have a several month adventure in poor communication but excellent sex, in which they spend copious amounts of time together but never quite manage to talk about what they’re really doing even though clearly, to anyone except these two dumb butts, they’re in love and dating. There are late night talks, early morning talks, half living out of each other’s apartments, shared food in fridges, fights about who gets the left over take out food, Spock making coffee for mccoy at all hour of the night and day due to his complicated work schedule at the hospital, mccoy bumming around the cafe waiting for Spock to get off work finally, cooking together, stealing each other’s socks, and mccoy declaring Spock had better get a bigger couch because seriously Spock, find somewhere for your knee to be that isn’t jabbing into my knee. 

And then at some point they get over themselves.  How?  Unclear.  Possibilities include

A discussion about condom use, STIs, and if you’re not bumping uglies with anyone else, and if I’m not… then we could get tested… and stop using condoms… and if we continued to not take any rolls in the hay with anyone other than each other we could continue to not use condoms… and then it’d be like we’re exclusive… and committed… right. k. logical, probably.

Spock gets hit by a car.  I don’t know why I have to be so dramatic about everything.  But, still.  McCoy working in the ER.  Spock biking around the city to his heart’s content.  It’s such prime fodder for someone bursting in (chapel, let’s be real, it’s chapel) and yelling ‘mccoy your boyfriend’s here!’ and he’s all ‘hahah i don’t have a boyfriend! that guy? who i kind of love? he’s not, gosh, he’s not my boyfriend, we only are practically living together hahaha what no, no no no’ and then 180s it when he realizes it’s actual Spock and there’s obviously an entire hurt/comfort fic in here and McCoy is Distraught at the thought of losing Spock and Spock is like oh my god I’m fine ok sure let’s hug oh ok this is nice

Then, they finally really date.  

They have one terrible fight in which McCoy is on Spock’s case to get a Real Job because he could do literally anything with that brain of his and pouring coffee? Really? Which sounds an unfortunate amount like Sarek and Spock is like wow, you’re a huge asshole which only confirms mccoy’s greatest fear that anything good in his life he’ll end up ruining, while meanwhile Spock managed to not hear McCoy wishing the best for him and all he can get out of his life, but that McCoy doesn’t think he’s good enough.  There’s an awful spell of time in which they are on the outs and are sure the other is about to break up with them - or worse, they should be the one to end it because the other can do so much better - only to have a sassy and tearful reunion.

And then they move in together and it’s the first place that’s felt like home for either of them in approximately forever and they buy a fantastic mattress after spending three weeks arguing about which one to get, the actual end, goodbye.

Jim and Nyota are in love.  Except Jim is the only one who can admit it to himself.  Nyota is still trying to sort out that stomach thing she gets around him and is Horrified that it might be what she thinks it is.  They spend entirely too much time together cause their best friends are constantly making out with each other’s faces.  Nyota knows Jim is into her and is slowly realizing that maybe, just maybe, if she doesn’t come around to the idea of him and her, he’s not going to stick around forever waiting, so her life is edging precipitously closer to a reality in which she actually does something about Jim Kirk and she’s terrified and exasperated at the fact that of literally anyone she could be with, her dumb boss is the only one she could possibly see herself with and both hates that fact and is learning to be ok with it.

Demora works at the cafe all through high school.  She’s constantly mortified by the antics of the grownups around her.

The actual end.