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percywinchester27 · 4 years ago

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A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-22)

Word count: 5.2K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Anxiety, feels, light flirting?

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: Hey peeps, just wanted to thank you guys for all the love. Y’all are awesome! <3

The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23. Thank you, babe <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

“Jesus, kid! Don’t you ever pull that one on me again, okay?”

Max was trying to escape his embrace, but Sam didn’t budge. His heart was still beating out a disjointed rhythm.

“I didn’t do anything!” Max protested.

Alex was quick to interject. “You ran out on me.”

Max turned in the circle of his arms glaring at Alex. “Only because you fell asleep.”

Alex’s face got all red and she sneaked a nervous glance at Sam.

“She’s got school in the morning,” Sam told Max. “She was tired. That doesn’t mean you can run out on her.”

“This isn’t the first time either,” Alex put in, emboldened by Sam’s support. “He ran to her on Sunday as well.”

“What’s this, Max?” Sam didn’t want to make his voice stern, but the fear wasn’t helping. Alex had called him towards the end of his meeting to tell him she couldn’t find Max. Sam’s heart had dropped through the ground at the mere thought. By the time he could ask Chase to pull out his car- Sam’s was still parked in the campus- a second call from Alex had already informed him that Max was back and okay. But Sam couldn’t stay put. He’d made Chase drive him back anyway.

“She’s my friend.” Max muttered.

“You’ve only met her twice!” Alex accused.

Max threw Alex a betrayed look, mumbling to himself.

Sam rubbed his face with his hand. “What’s happening?”

Alex started to say something, but Max interjected. “I want to tell him!”

“Alright, go on.”

Max told him about a new friend he’d made in one of the buildings along the playground, and that he was going to see her on Monday again.

Sam shot a look at Alex to confirm and she nodded encouragingly. Falling asleep on the watch might have been a one time thing, otherwise Alex was both smart and thorough. She wouldn’t have agreed to anything that wasn’t safe for Max.

“I can go, right?”

“Only if you promise to never go out by yourself.”

Max made an excited sound. “Yes!”

“Okay, enough of this moping,” Chase announced. He had been standing uncharacteristically quiet, watching the drama unfold. “Alex gets to sleep, Max gets his date and Sam gets to chill. What does Chase get?”

Sam turned to him. “What do you want?”

“Food. I want food.”

Alex waved to Max, who didn’t acknowledge it. He was still mad about ratting him out. “Bye, Sam. Bye, Mr. Lincoln.”

Sam nodded, and Chase waved at her cheerfully.

Sam let go of Max, not really looking him in the eyes, lest he should sense just how freaked out Sam was. That’s not what kids should see in their parents- the fear of being incompetant. Sam had learned as much from Dean. His older brother had been absolutely confident in every decision he’d made for Sam. It was only in the later years that Sam realised how freaked out Dean must have been attempting to raise Sam, even with Bobby and Karen’s help. They were all always second guessing themselves.

The next hour was spent on a call with Stacey. She debriefed Sam about the end of the meeting, promising to forward the transcripts after she was done with editing them. He was lucky to have found someone as efficient as her. She was a blessing. Sam appreciated that her first words were of concern for Max. Stacey had designed Sam’s schedule in such a foolproof manner that Max was never neglected. He couldn’t have been more grateful. To think that they had started their work relationship disliking each other.

Sam took his time in the shower, letting the hot water wash away some of his anxiety. Just the very thought of losing Max was enough to decapitate him. Later, as he diced the bell-peppers, his eyes kept going to the sofa where Max was playing connect four with Chase, who was sucking bigtime. It was something they did at least once a week. Right now, Chase was going on at length about how awesome the cookies were, that he was stealing from a jar. Sam didn’t remember buying any cookies at all.

A sting in his finger made him hiss. Looking down, he saw blood spreading into the bell-pepper pieces and the surface of the chopping board.

The next minute small hands were taking his finger, blowing on the cut and guiding him towards the sink.

“You never pay attention!” Max admonished.

“What do you care?” Sam muttered, washing his finger under the steady stream. The cut wasn’t too deep. “It’s not like you don’t love worrying me.”

Max huffed. “You’re being melodramatic.”

“No, I’m not. Seriously, Max, do you want me to stop going to work? How am I supposed to concentrate on anything if you’re going to be a flight risk?”

“I wasn't running away from home, okay? I just went to see my friend.”

Sam knew he was overreacting but what else was there to do? Alex had sounded so frantic on the phone.

“Who’s this girl anyway?” Sam eyed his son, turning off the tap. “Is it Lucy from school?”

“Ewww nooooo!” Max cringed, making a face. “I don’t like Lucy!”

“Of course you don’t,” Sam grinned. He added more seriously, “Don’t push Alex, okay? She might decide to not babysit you anymore.”

“It’s your fault really,” Max shrugged. Chase who had gone to retrieve the first aid box- it was ridiculous he even knew where that was in the house- handed Sam a bandaid.

Sam gave Max an incredulous look. “How is any of this my fault?”

“If you got me a mom, we wouldn’t need a babysitter!”

Sam barely even had the time to pick his jaw up when Chase started howling with laughter. He raised his hand and Max high-fived him.

“Wha- what?” He spluttered. “Where’s this coming from?”

“I told you, you had this coming, Samuel,” Chase chuckled, superior. “Even your boy seems to be scoring more dates here. And look at the little daredevil sneaking out to get em. What’re you waiting for? Divine intervention?” He lowered his voice just for Sam’s ears. “Even Steve from HR gets laid more than you. And he smells like Kleenex!”

Sam glared at his friend. “That’s it. Get out of my house! I’m not responsible for feeding you.”

“Now, now,” Chase placated, putting his hands on either side of Sam’s shoulders from behind and giving them a squeeze. “Look at these muscles. Such a waste to not have beautiful arms draped around them.”

“Well, there’s always you!”

Chase huffed, drawing back. “You don’t pay me any attention.”

Max giggled.

Sam turned to his son. “Max, having a mom doesn’t mean you won’t have a babysitter. Working mothers are a thing!”

“He’ll, at least, have quality food,” Chase put in. “All you feed him is vegetables.”

“You know what? I’m done with the both of you. Go back to that game you were playing.”

“No,” Chase shook his head. “This is more fun. Why aren’t you asking Jess out?”

“You know why.” Sam wasn’t as patient this time as he had been the last ten times, since Chase had been badgering him every damn minute. “Go wash your hands, Max. And help Uncle Chase set up the table.”

Max knew he was being dismissed, so he made a whole show of slowly dragging himself from the kitchen counter and heading upstairs at the speed of a snail. Once he was surely out of earshot, Sam hissed at his friend. “Drop it, Chase! You know it’s not going to happen. Besides, the last time was embarrassing enough. I don’t know how to face her.”

Chase rolled his eyes. “She’s a grown ass woman and super hot. You’re lucky she’s into you,” He paused, the sly grin dancing in his eyes. “That was like three or four years ago. She must be long past it.”

“I sure hope so.”

“I don’t know how else to convince you,” Chase sighed, dropping all the teasing at once. “Jess is successful, beautiful and so damn smart. If a girl like that can’t move you, I don’t know what else to do for you.”

“You can always give up.”

“No chance.” Chase ran his fingers through his hair. “I just keep trying to understand what’s holding you back.”

It was Sam’s turn to sigh. “I’m married.”

“No, you’re not!” Chase argued, with more emotion than Sam had expected, enough to make him face his friend. “This isn’t marriage, Sam. This is you holding on to something dead with both your hands. Let go before your hands start decaying.”

“Don’t say that.” The pain in his own voice depressed Sam.

Chase grimaced. “What would I not give to see this girl! Who is she? Some supermodel? Is she gilded out of diamonds or something?”

It was no point going in circles with Chase over this. Sam knew from years of experience that he wouldn’t give up.

“What was her name again?”

“It’s-” Sam’s gaze shifted to the base of the staircase and found Max standing there, face blank. “We’ll talk later,” Sam whispered, wondering how much Max had heard.

The dinner was a quiet affair. Sam knew it wasn’t so because Chase and Max were appreciating the sensory overload of how amazing his stir fry was. Chase was sulking and Max was lost in thought. After Chase had left for the night, Sam set to cleaning the kitchen. Max came to sit by him on the island counter, picking out a cookie from the jar Chase had abandoned.

“How was your day?” Max asked and despite himself Sam chuckled. There was something so odd about the question coming out of a six and a half year old.

“T’was alright,” Sam told him. Most of it had been very boring, except for the evening scare and the morning lecture in which he was mere feet away from Y/N, every cell in his body hyper aware of the fact that she was there. It was pathetic and Sam knew it. “I do have a hearing tomorrow. I think we’ll win this one.”

“What’s it about?”

“Property fraud. Very interesting.”

Wiping the kitchen top, and hanging the rag on the hook over the sink, Sam came to sit by his son. “How was your day?”

“Very interesting.” Max smiled, but didn’t elaborate. Not wanting to flare up his earlier irritation, Sam didn’t ask him for the details either. Instead, he dipped his hand in the jar and drew out a Choco chip cookie.

“Is it because of me that you don’t go out on dates?”

Max’s voice was small, diminished even and it made Sam draw in a quick breath.

“Max!” He exhaled. “Why would you say that?”

His boy wriggled his fingers. “I don’t know. Uncle Chase is right. You don’t have any fun. I know it’s because you have to spend all your free time with me.”

“You don’t mean that,” Sam stated outright, shaking his head. “I know you don’t because not one second of the time spent with you has been a sacrifice. You’re my son. You’ve got to know that I would do anything for you.”

“Except get me a mom.”

“Mom’s don’t grow on trees or fall out skies, Max.” Sam reasoned trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice. “And don’t you ever say that I don’t have fun in life. We have fun, don’t we? I love that and wouldn’t change it for any girl in the world.”

“Not even for Y/N?”

Sam faltered, aghast. Maybe it was because he was thinking about Y/N so much already, or because Max didn’t usually bring her up, but somewhere inside him there was a nagging feeling that he was missing something here. Max’s question was natural in the context of the conversation… but the very conversation felt out of context. Max knew very well what he meant to Sam, and even if a part of him thought that Sam was sacrificing for his sake- Sam fervently wished that wasn’t the case- the Max he knew would never bring it up this conversationally.

So he answered with complete conviction. “No. Not even for Y/N.”

“And you get this through your head, Max,” he continued, voice pained despite his efforts. “You and I are already a complete family. I love you with everything that I have. So long as we are together, you’ll make do with just me, won’t you?”

“Mhmm.”

Sam ruffled Max’s hair, and kissed his brow, rankled by his words. Regardless of what Sam had just said, wouldn’t it be nice for Max to have a mom? Even in his imagination the face was perfectly clear, the vision already there. He’d be lying to himself if he said that over the years he hadn’t thought about her holding Max, laughing with him. There was only ever one face that completed Sam’s daydream- Y/N’s. But Sam also knew just how impossible it was. Y/N wouldn’t even think of the aftermath of an accident, imagining her as a motherly figure was simply cruel. So much that the whiplash of it hit Sam’s conscience. It was why he hadn’t mentioned Max to her.

Trying to reign in his thoughts he absentmindedly took a bite of the cookie in his hand, chewing as he tried to dislodge the idea of Max and Y/N. Impossible… too painful, his mind screamed.

Abruptly, he stopped.

“Hey, Max? Sam asked slowly, “Where did you get these cookies?”

“Umm, those girl scouts came over this afternoon,” he said, not meeting Sam’s gaze. “I asked Alex to buy. Is that okay?”

“You sure these are girl scout cookies?”

“Yep.”

Eating the rest of the cookie in one bite, Sam jumped down from the counter and turned to his boy. “Promise me. Promise me you won’t think like that again,” Sam pleaded. “That you’re keeping me from anything. You saved me, kiddo. I would have been barely worth anything without you.”

“Same,” Max quipped. And despite the absolute horror of the situation, and how true both of their words were, Sam found himself snorting.

“Enough with the black comedy,” he ordered, “Lets go brush your teeth.”

“Yessum.”

Max leapt into Sam’s arms, and he carried his boy out of the kitchen. Sam eyed the jar of cookies one last time before switching off the lights.

Friday, first day of Induction fair. It was going to be one long day tomorrow.

*******************

“Alright, everybody clear on what they’re supposed to be doing tomorrow?”

“It’s 11:30 in the night, Y/N,” Seth complained, “We aren’t going to be any more ready.”

“I’m sorry,” you waved apologetically. “You guys should go home, I’ll wrap up the rest. I’m just nervous.”

“It’ll be okay,” Madison came to your side, putting her arm around your shoulders. “Seth’s just kidding. Aren’t you?” She turned on the poor guy who shook his head and you snickered.

“Okay, pack up y’all!” You called out to the people in the background busy with the last checks on the sound system. “We’re going to have a blast tomorrow.”

Cheers went up around you. One by one everyone clapped you on your back, offered smiles and went their way; only Madison, Brad and Rebecca remained.

“Who are you taking with you to the Saturday night dance?” Brad asked.

Well crap! “A friend of mine,” you answered. You’d have to ask one of the guys if they were free Saturday evening.

“Hmm… Does this friend happen to go to Law school?”

“Nope!”

“We’ll at least have time for one dance,” Brad insisted, leaning next to you as you packed your bag. “Your friend won’t mind, will he?”

“Brad,” you sighed. “I’m clearly not your type.”

He put his hands up. “Hey, I’m not implying anything here, but if that’s what you got out of it…”

You ignored him, walking back towards Maddie. He kept up with you easily. “What about the dance? One dance is well deserved.”

“Okay, fine!” Better to just agree and get it done with. Brad left with a superior smirk and you wondered what was the deal with him.

“Brad’s a great guy,” Rebecca said. “I don’t know what kind of Prince Charming you’re waiting for that you keep turning him down at every opportunity.”

“I’m not waiting for anyone.” It was true. You had found someone who could put Prince Charming to shame and then you had lost him. Now, the most you could hope for was his friendship. The thinly veiled bitterness and longing in Rebecca’s voice when she spoke of Brad led you to believe that her dislike for you wasn’t reasonless after all.

At the quad, you stopped, letting the girls know that you’d be heading towards the library, to relieve Molly from her shift early. It was supposed to be your shift anyway, Molly was doing you a favor by subbing.

“I’ll come with you,” Madison quipped. She waved a goodbye to Rebecca and the two of you set towards the library, your footsteps echoing in the night.

Once Molly had left, Madison logged into one of the records PC’s and started working on the case studies for professor Whitman. Meanwhile, you logged into your mail to print out the schedules and itineraries for the speakers tomorrow.

Just as you were printing out the last set, your email pinged, alerting you to an email from Sam. It was ridiculous that your heart should leap out of your chest, especially when it was merely a reply to your assignment. It was past one, and Sam was still up checking coursework.

Oh, how you wanted to reply back, ask him why he was up this late. But this was an official email ID. It would be wrong to get personal here. Unreasonable as it was, you were miffed that you didn’t have Sam’s phone number. Friends should be able to call each other, right? You could always find it out from the directory, however, you were stubborn about getting it from him.

“Hey, I just heard back from Professor Winchester,” Madison whispered, even though there wasn’t anyone else in the library. “I scored a 21.5!”

“That’s great!” You smiled.

“What about you? Did you hear from him yet?”

“Just. Scored a 23.”

Madison scrunched her nose, “I bet that’s the highest.” She sounded rueful, but you knew she didn’t mean any ill. “You mind if I take a look at your paper?”

“Course not.”

Madison read through your document carefully. “I can see why he rated you this high. This is great work, Y/N! I wonder…”

“What?”

She looked bemused. “In my email, he’s specifically pointed out all the good things and complemented me for my good work. In your reply he’s only pointed out the one flaw that cost you the two marks. He’s not said one good word about the rest.”

Maybe he thought you would understand, or maybe he was just too tired. If not commenting on your essay earned him ten extra minutes of rest, you were very glad that he hadn't.

You shrugged at Madison. “Maybe he forgot.”

“That’s not done,” she frowned. “You should ask him tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

A glazed look came over Madison’s face. “Remember the first time we were alone here?”

“We’d been trying to research for Mr. Winchester’s first assignment,” you smiled.

“And ended up stalking him instead,” Madison winked. “After I went home that day, I read up more about that sensationalised case of his. Really gruesome, the whole deal. Never pinned him for the type of lawyer to take up a criminal law case, let alone homicides.”

“What’s there to fight for in a criminal homicide?” You wondered. “Isn’t that DA’s job?”

You remembered a little from what you had read with Madison that day, over a month ago. Twin homicides followed by a legal battle over property inheritance. The deceased’s brother vs. the deceased son. There were also connected matters of custodial rights, abuse charges and adoption.

“It was really scandalous, Y/N,” Madison said. “You wouldn’t know because you didn’t live in California. It was all over the papers and news in LA. Ralph Simmons was this bigshot producer, and his on and off girlfriend- both of them shot by some drug pimp. A whole big racket came out with it. I think Mr. Winchester moved out of LA to avoid the fanfare that followed him everywhere afterwards.”

“When was this?”

“Ummm… about two and half years ago,” Madison said.

So before he started teaching at Stanford, and before his job at Acton Griswold.

“Why would he leave a successful firm in LA and move base to SF?” You asked out loud. “That too after a successful stint? It doesn’t make sense.”

To your surprise, Madison laughed. “Oh, firms must be dying to have him. Even my dad offered. Apart from offering a junior partnership, Acton Gris must have paid him a ton of money. Besides, his working hours are more like a consultants, so he can manage classes. That’s a lot of relaxations- only someone with that sort of fanfare would have been able to negotiate a deal.”

It wasn’t the money. That much you knew. Something else had made Sam uproot his life in LA and move here.

“Uhg! I really want to work with him, Y/N,” Madison let out. “I really want the summer internship at Acton Gris.” Seeing your expression, she quickly added, “It’s not why you think. I mean sure he’s super hot and all that, but I’ve looked up to him for his ethics, and the way he thinks. He’s just such a great lawyer.”

“Sure is.”

“I know what you’re thinking,” She said in a defeated voice. “Rich girl with a firm to her name, who could get in Acton Gris by recommendation as a favor. What’s the big deal, right?”

“Maddie, I wasn’t thinking that-”

“It’s alright if you do. Everyone does.”

You placed your hand on top of hers. “I don��t care what everyone else thinks. I care about you. The Madison I know is intelligent and hardworking, who deserves whatever she sets her heart to. Law is a lucrative practice. As long as you aren’t screwing over someone else, you should use whatever means you can.”

Madison’s eyes welled up. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Y/N. Sometimes… sometimes I wonder if I even have any real friends who care about me. Becca… Lace, Mer… they all feel like friendships of convenience than actual substance. You’re the only one I’m sure will be happy to see me succeed in life.”

Your heart reached out for Madison. She was a good person who didn’t deserve to feel this way. Slowly you reached out and put your arms around her. “Maddie,” You breathed in her hair, not knowing what else to say. You had always known she was hurting inside without her having told you. Her relations seemed frivolous to you, but by the looks of it, her family life wasn’t much good either. Deep down she was convinced that her parents, her brothers didn’t love her. What must it be like to live that way?

You’d never been rich in your life except for those short married months, but not for a minute had you questioned the love of any person you called family. How was one supposed to live on without having the assurance of being absolutely loved?

The way you’ve lived for the past six and a half years, a small voice whispered in your brain. You quelled it immediately.

“Madison,” you said firmly this time. “I love you. And I’ll always support you. To hell with anyone who thinks otherwise.”

She hugged you closer, and you felt her broken breaths against your body. She didn’t want you to see her cry, so you held on till all her tears had dried.

********

You probably looked exactly how you felt- sleepless and exhausted. The first half of day one had gone smoothly with all introductions in place. Over two hundred and fifty alumni had RSVP’d for the event and forty two had agreed to speak or participate in panel discussions. You had been told this was one of the biggest turnouts ever. Instead of feeling like you had succeeded, you just felt more scared. Organised activity wasn’t your cup of tea. Right about then you were questioning how you even ended up heading this committee.

Everyone seemed to be asking for you, everyone had some or the other work with you and the tasks were never ending. The first time that you got a minute to sit was towards the end of lunch break. You dropped into the seat at the far end of the auditorium, head in your hands.

“Here!”

You turned your face to see Sam sitting next to you with a bottle of water in his hand. Unlike his usual self, he was dressed in a light knit grey sweater and jeans today. His glasses hung from the V-shaped neckline, revealing just enough for you to see the glint of his chain. You were so exhausted, all you wanted to do was fall against his shoulder and close your eyes for just two seconds. Sighing, you took the bottle from him and drank to your heart’s content.

“Maybe doing the late night shift at the library wasn’t the best idea, huh?”

You frowned. “How do you know?”

“The register,” He said. “I went to the library in the morning to return my book.”

“I thought you were avoiding the library like the plague.” The words slipped out before you could think them through. You hoped the bitter edge in them wasn’t very obvious.

“I would come if I could, you know?”

“What’s stopping you?” You asked, belligerent, “Too scared to go back home in the dark?”

You knew it was unfair to put him in a spot like this. He had a home, his own bed. Why would he spend his nights at the library just because you worked there? Just because he hadn’t talked to you all that much lately, or given you his phone number, didn’t mean you had the right to be irritated at him.

“Y/N-” he sighed, and before he could add on to that, he was interrupted.

“There you are!”

Chase Lincoln put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

You straightened your expression under the pretense of drinking more water, and handed the bottle back to Sam.

“Thank you, Mr. Winchester,” you said, standing up, “I must hurry back now. If you’ll excuse me.”

Sam stood up with you. The errant thought of resting against his shoulder made an appearance but you shoved it away violently.

“Wait,” Sam put his hand out to block you. You looked around you to see if anyone else had noticed. No one but Chase.

“Let me introduce the two of you,” he said.

“Wait, I know you,” Chase interjected. “You work with Molly, right? And you’re heading the organising committee.”

“Chase,” Sam said with gravity, making his friend focus, the green eyes sharpened on you.

Exhaling slowly, Sam turned to you. “This is Chase Lincoln. He works with me at Acton Griswold.” You heard the unsaid words- ‘He’s the one I was talking with that day in the coffee shop; my friend.”

“Chase.” Sam’s voice was heavy, the way Atlas’s might have sounded after a millennia of holding up the earth. There was defeat in it. “This- this is Y/N.”

Each time Sam uttered your name, a warmth settled in your chest. You suspected it was just your eternally besotted mind making up the idea that his voice grew softer when he said it. Apparently, that wasn’t the case, for Chase’s eyes narrowed as he took in the look on Sam’s face, then went wide in a split second. His head rapidly moved from you to Sam in a matter of moments, before his jaw dropped.

“S-... Your… “ Speech seemed to have temporarily evaded Chase.

“No diamonds,” Sam murmured.

“Y/N!” Someone shouted for you from two rows down. “There’s a problem with the mic. You need to check it out.”

“Ex- Excuse me,” you mumbled, hurrying away from Chase’s astounded stare. Maybe he knew it all, that didn’t particularly surprise you. What did surprise you was how Sam had decidedly made the introduction- as if Chase had to know.

As it turned out, the mic had only been disconnected. It was working absolutely fine. You were still grateful to have been removed from Chase’s presence, glad that you didn’t have to wait around to witness his judgement.

The rest of the day flew by faster than you could have guessed. Most of the heavy panel discussions were scheduled for the first day itself. You were blown away by the immense knowledge and expertise of those people, which was a good thing because you desperately needed a distraction.

You only saw Sam afterwards, once everything was over and the alumni were all catching up with each other, like old friends, reminiscing about the time they had spent together. Even though it was a lot of people there, your eyes kept going to Sam in his thin sweater, in a deep conversation with an aged man, who was laughing at something Sam had said.

“One down, two more days to go,” mumbled Madison. She was leaning against your back. “Can we just sleep here?”

“I told you to come home with me last night,” Rebecca stated, appearing out of nowhere. This time she had Lacey and Meredith with her. “Why did you have to stay up at the library?”

Usually Madison would’ve at least tried to answer. Today, her forehead and nose just dug deeper into your back. You pursed your lips so the smile wouldn’t spill over. She was taking a stand for how she deserved to be treated.

“Well, shit!” Lacey said. “Looks like I wasn’t wrong after all.”

Rebecca groaned. “Ugh she looks like an uptight bimbo.”

You didn’t pay attention to their conversation till Meredith said, “She’s definitely into professor Hotchester.”

Your head snapped up in Sam’s direction, but he was out of the straight line of your vision. Obscuring him was a girl, dressed in a pretty blue chiffon top and tight fitting pencil skirt. Her five inches long pumps caught the light of the setting sun and gleamed. She was tall and beautiful, statuesque in the way a swimsuit model is, her blonde hair fell to the middle of her back in perfect curls.

As you watched, she threw her hands around Sam’s neck and hugged him tightly. He willingly embraced her, too. You chanced a glance of the smile on his face as she disentangled and laughed, touching Sam’s chest lightly with her hand.

“Yeah, there’s something there,” Lacey whistled.

“Wonder who she is,” Madison whispered, so only you could hear.

You didn’t need to wonder who it was, you already knew. Jessica Moore. Sam’s Ex-girlfriend.

*******************

A/N 2: I kinda really like the next chapter. I think it speaks more about about the sort of writer and person that I am than most things I’ve written yet. Can’t wait to share it with y’all.

So any predictions? ;)

Thank you for all the reblogs and comments! Not gonna lie, life’s been kicking my butt a lot lately. Believe it or not, all of your love really helps <3

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#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester reader insert #lawyer!Sam #Professor!Sam #professor!Sam x reader #lawyer!Sam x reader #lawyer au #professor!au #sam winchester #sam x y/n #sam x reader #sam fluff #spn fanfiction #anawritesspn #anawrites #Ana writes ALLU #allu 22 #q

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missholoska · 5 years ago

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At long last, it’s the goats’ time to shine ✨🐐

(For anyone unfamiliar with my Swap content, see the character sheets for Papyrus & Sans, Undyne & Alphys, and more about Underswap MH here!)

Before the usual further rambles under the cut I want to properly explain one little detail in Asgore’s info box: Asriel being his nephew. I didn’t change this just for the sake of it! It has to do with everyone's roles and actions making sense to me and keeping certain details intact, and I'll talk about it more in Asriel's character sheet but here's the shortest way I can explain it:

Basically Asriel being alive in Underswap and still being Toriel and Asgore's son without any of them aging doesn't really make sense to me, and physical distance doesn't seem enough reason for none of them to have aged a day in 100 years, as Boss Monsters should. I've also seen (and liked) some Swap takes where Asriel instead has only a distant relation to the Dreemurrs or even none at all, but speaking purely for my Underswap it just feels kinda sad for him to have nothing to do with them.

So my middle ground for both of these points is Swap MH Asriel is their nephew instead, allowing him to have a close family bond with both Dandelion and Orchid without any of them aging, and lets him be separate enough to live his own life in Snowdin in UT Monster Kid's role. His parents are dead and about as relevant as MK’s biological parents, which is uh. not at all, but that’s just how it's gotta be.

As I've often said with Underswap MH, I don't mind if this doesn't appeal to everyone! I know it might be odd even with thought-out reasons for it, but in the end I'm still just doing what I want with my version.

anyway on with the enormous amount of extra info for these two:

Because they have no biological children (and to be clear, it's not that they can't have kids, they just didn't), Dandelion and Orchid are physically younger than their UT counterparts. Personally I don't think they were that old when they gained their Boss Monster immortality and I headcanon UT Asriel as 10 when he died, so I see UT Toriel and Asgore as being physically around their late 30s and early 40s respectively.

It took a while to figure out why Orchid would ever kill the six humans because it always felt out of character for a Swap Toriel who retains some of UT Toriel's personality. I can't see her killing anyone voluntarily at first, but UT Toriel is able to kill UT Frisk accidentally, so likewise killing the first human to fall after Swap Frisk was not intentional. She still tried to reason with every human who faced her, but being unable to convince them to stay in the Underground in peace and already having blood on her hands, was resigned to her duty.

On Dandelion's side of events, he still has UT Asgore's traits of being prone to anger in grief and somewhat cowardly about his duty, hence him still calling the declaration of war on humanity but then backing out on it. Feeling like he'd betrayed the memory of their children and knowing he'd hurt Orchid emotionally, he exiled himself to Ruins, assuming that in his absence she would call the war off again.

Orchid's reason for not using a human soul to cross the barrier (i.e. exactly what UT Toriel calls Asgore out on) is that taking the first child's life traumatised her on top of her grief in not wanting to follow the doomed footsteps of her adoptive children. As she's still Toriel she still considered doing exactly that, but wasn't emotionally capable of it and is very aware of her hypocrisy.

...basically if you think the eternal fandom slapfights over whether Toriel is just as bad as Asgore or either of them did nothing wrong are a mess, it's definitely even more complicated in Underswap MH. They both made wrong decisions in grief, but in the end both deserve mercy too.

Orchid's throne room, rather than being covered by a bed of golden flowers, features the same black tree seen in front of UT Toriel's home, with red leaves covering the floor (meanwhile the Ruins has no red leaves). Her throne sits directly in front of the tree and the room is darker, and the original game's room of coffins in New Home is nonexistent as Orchid buried the fallen humans in the throne room to show them what respect she could.

Instead of trying to destroy the Ruins' exit like UT Toriel, Dandelion leads Chara there when they ask to leave and tells them the monsters on the other side will try to kill them. He apologises and says it is his fault for that, and the least he can do is give them the choice to stay with him in safety or prove that they can survive out there, and as mentioned above they can always change their mind and come back.

Dandelion could hypothetically still do the orange/blue eye-flashing attack UT Asgore does, but doesn't because he's the tutorial boss. In Orchid's battle, the orb of her sceptre flashes orange or blue before she attacks with flames of the same colours (she'd also destroy the mercy button with a column of fire).

I spent too much time thinking about whether Orchid should still speak without contractions like UT Toriel, because speech styles are mostly swapped but it's such a Toriel thing, so... I decided her natural thoughts/spoken words still lack contractions, but she forces herself to use them fairly often to try and keep up with modern speech. Meanwhile Dandelion mostly speaks without contractions, but occasionally some slip out.

Given that I'm a Bigtime Soriel Shipper™ it's probably worth mentioning that the role equivalent of UT Sans and Toriel's friendship between Noodle and Dandelion remains platonic, primarily due to Noodle being aromantic. But Dandelion is panromantic and Noodle would definitely be his wingman if anyone took his fancy, and their bond is incredibly important to them both! They basically have one of those friendships where sometimes you just make small talk and chat about mutual interests, and sometimes you both unload your entire life's emotional baggage and support each other's mental health.

and yes because I have to give a mention to my beloved Swap Soriel: Neptune initially has no intention of telling Orchid about his feelings for her because he doesn't want to make their friendship awkward, but he ends up blurting out how much she means to him when she's feeling especially bad some time in post-pacifist. As mentioned above she doesn't feel the same at first and their friendship continues (no man has ever been as genuinely happy to be friendzoned as Neptune), but she begins to return his feelings before too long. There's actually so much more depth to their friendship I'd love to share immediately, but trust me it'll be much better in comic form ;v;

I've forgotten the flower meanings of dandelions I read while I was looking up yellow/gold flowers to name Asgore after, but most of the reason I chose that for him is because I see Asgore as part lion and he is very fine and dandy. As for Toriel, apparently purple orchids represent things like royalty, respect and dignity which sounded fitting!

I swear I absolutely will not let my current pattern of procrastinating on the next character sheets for a whole entire year continue, I want to get the last three done much quicker!! Chara and Asriel will be next :D

#Undertale #Underswap #Underswap MH #Toriel #Asgore #underswap toriel #underswap asgore #undertale art #holoskart #long post //#if read mores still don't work on mobile I am so /so/ sorry :D;;;;#half the reason I delayed this for so long is I just kept getting more and more ideas I wanted to develop properly #anyway in saying that it's fine people don't like my ideas for these two I'm still nervous about uh. pretty much everything in this post #but that's just the typical anxiety of sharing concepts I've been working on for months I suppose ahah;;#also no extra doodles this time bc halloween is approaching and the deadline for my overly ambitious art plan is scaring me #orchid (swap mh toriel)#dandelion (swap mh asgore)

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illwork4anime · 4 years ago

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18 please!

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Yes! So I will use my WIP Done with Love

ORIGINS

ORIGINALLY THIS STORY WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE ShikaSaku.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONLY ITASAKU. LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE FALLEN BECAUSE I FELL HARD FOR SHIKA.

Literally never considered the pairing until this.

This story started with the Itasaku oneshot that is the prologue. Then I wrote a drabble that was just the hospital scene, but a little different. It had Kurenais daughter coming in wounded. Sakura saves her and goes to the waitingroom to find Shika a mess. It's the end of her shift so she takes him out for a drink. The end.

Then I decided, no I want to write a proper story. So I combined them, with Shikamaru only there because of his big brain AND THATS IT. NOTHING ELSE. So I added...They talk. Shika owes her one bigtime. Asuma would have haunted him forever if she died. So, Sakura says - I know how you are going to help me out. Help me train and I am going to get Sasuke back all on my own. Work with me on a strategy. The start of the chapter was a flash forward to an event I can tell because its a spoiler! Basically, Sakura is captured and trying to escape. This helped add some suspense to the exposition and make a boring capture time more interesting by breaking it up.

BUT then I decided to redo it completely. Because I fell in love with shikasaku as a later pairing.

Also - all those Kakashi moments - ACCIDENTAL. I wrote that healing scene in the library on a whim and now here we are. Originally, just supposed to be Shika and Itachi.

DELETED/REFACTORED SCENE

One additional diversion was the scene in the art gallery. That originally didn’t have the genjutsu at all. It was an argument outside in a part. But I wanted to make it relevant to her training, so I put it in the gallery. In the alternate scene, it started because Sakura confronted Shikamaru about how he had kissed Ino before and wanted to know what kind of kiss it was. Here it is in DRAFT FORM:

“Oh, Sai!” Ino’s voice shatters through the moment. Ino bounds up behind Sai, throwing her arms around him in greeting.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding from me.” She says sweetly.

“Beautiful, I was not hiding, I assure you.” He says, face looking phonier than before. Why did Ino get a nice nickname, while Sakura got stuck with Hag? Ino beams at him for it.

“I missed you, silly. Let’s go to the movies Friday, so you can make it up to me.” Ino says sweetly.

Sai turns to Sakura, “What do you think, Sakura? Shall we go?”

Ino glares at her, as if she’s invited herself while Sakura puts her hands up in surrender.

“Um, actually Sai, I have training with Shikamaru on Friday night. I won’t be able to go.” Sakura lies.

“Is that what you’re calling it,” Ino grumbles under her breath.

“Apologies, Ino. We will have to try another time.” He says to her.

“She won’t mind if we go without her,” She says sweetly, then grinds out in a threatening tone, “Right, Sakura?”

“Right.” Sakura squeaks.

“According to my reading, the Hag is socially obligated to agree in this situation, though her true feelings could be to the contrary. It would be perceived as a slight to go without her.” Sai responds, looking rather proud at his insight.

Sakura cringes as Ino’s intensified glare.

“Then why don’t you just bring Shikamaru along, Sakura.” Ino offers, “Then we can have a double date.”

Again, the way Ino says it give Sakura no room to disagree, but she does anyway.

“I’m not going on a double date.” She says firmly.

“Forehead, let’s just talk for a second over there.” Ino says, grabbing her arm too tightly and dragging her out of hearing distance.

“Don’t ruin this for me, Sakura. I’m super close to sealing the deal on Sai and I’m not about to give that up because you made some phony sisterhood pact to yourself to swear off men forever.” She whispers furiously.

“It’s not about my completely legitimate pact. I have way bigger things to worry about right now than going on a fake date.” Sakura hisses back. Danzo’s disappointed expression rises up in her memory, along with his gentle reminder of her deadline. She shakes her head, “And don’t kid yourself, Ino. Sai has no idea you’re even interested in him.”

“Then you understand why I need this!” Ino argues back.

“Even if I wanted to, I’d never get Shikamaru to agree to this.” Sakura says, trying a different angle.

“Ha!” Ino lets out a shrill laugh, “That’s what you’re worried about.”

Sakura glares, “Yes. The last place he’d want to spend a Friday night is fourth-wheeling a date with you and Sai.” She’s not sure that’s strictly true, but is hoping his lazy, reclusive track record works to her advantage.

“Fourth-wheeling isn’t a thing, and you know it.” Ino disagrees, “And he’d go if you asked him. He’d show up in civilian clothes with his hair down if you asked him to.”

“Yeah, right.” Sakura scoffs, but blushes at the image that pops in her head of him running a hand through his loose hair. She shakes her head and says with more bite than she means to, “It doesn’t matter who asks. The answer will be no.”

“Then you’d better convince him.” She says, jabbing a finger in Sakura’s shoulder. “You still owe me from the time I pretended to be your lover to get that stalker fan boy to stop bothering you.”

“Hey, I didn’t ask you do to that!” Sakura protests.

“See, I did it out of the goodness of my heart, so now’s your chance to repay me, because that’s what girlfriends do.” She smiles with a shrug and turns back to Sai to answer without waiting for Sakura to respond.

“Sai, she’s in!” She giggles, skipping back over to him, “See you Friday, Forehead!”

_____

Even though he said it wouldn’t, Shikamaru’s waiting for her outside the theater out of uniform that Friday. His black pants look pretty much the same, but his well-toned arms are on full display in a mesh tee-shirt and a long green vest that brushes his thighs. It probably has the Nara clan symbol on the back.

“Look at you, Muscles,” She teases him, glancing pointedly at his exposed arms. He lets out an annoyed huff, but his cheeks go pink, “I thought you weren’t wearing your civilian clothes tonight.”

“It would have been more troublesome to stick out that to just change,” He sulks. She can’t keep the smile off her face.

“Ino and Sai here yet?” She looks around but doesn’t see them.

“Not yet.” He’s still blushing and looks to the side when he says, “You look nice too.”

She lets out a surprised, “Oh, thanks,” looking down at the outfit she found in the back of her closet. It had been hard to find something that was fancy enough to say ‘date’ for Ino but casual enough to say ‘friends’ for Shikamaru. The simple cream tank top, with a more generous neckline than she was used to, tucked into a plain red skirt did the trick.

“Forehead, Shikamaru!” Ino calls, jogging up with her arm looped through Sai’s.

“Here we go,” Shikamaru mumbles, pushing off the wall he’s leaning against.

“Hey, none of that attitude,” She scolds. If she was taking a night off, it was going to be worth it, dammit, “We are here to have fun. Even if it kills us,”

“It just might,” he breaths out as Ino bounds up to them.

“You actually showed up. I honestly didn’t think you would,” Ino says with an obnoxious laugh. She eyes Ino’s crop top and short purple skirt and suddenly feels like her neckline isn’t so racy after all. Sai’s outfit is just as bad, also in a black crop top with low riding pants.

“Why am I the only one not wearing a crop top?” Sakura says pulling at the bottom half of her shirt.

“Hey,” Shikamaru says sharply, gesturing to his shirt, “This is not a crop top.”

“Might has well be,” She jokes, poking his abs through a hole in the mesh.

“Stop that,” he complains, grabbing onto her hand.

“This is going to be so fun!” Ino says, looping her arm through Sakura’s and dragging them inside. Shikamaru doesn’t let go of her hand until Ino pushes him and Sai into the line for tickets.

“Why can’t you just get your own stuff, Ino?” Shikamaru grumbles. “What a drag.”

“You’d know why if you ever bothered to go on dates, Shikamaru.” She answers, sticking her tongue out at him. He flushes pink and glances shyly at Sakura.

“Beautiful is right. Traditionally men are the ones to pay for date activities,” Sai says, no doubt trying to be helpful.

“She’s totally taking advantage of you, man,” Shikamaru says, shaking his head and turning to walk up to the counter.

“I don’t understand,” Sai says, following behind him. “A date is still an equal exchange. Don’t men usually receive payment in the form of sexual favors at the end of the night?”

Sakura hears Shikamaru let out a strangled groan. He grabs Sai by the back of the head and starts whispering something urgently to him.

She can’t help but laugh at Shikamaru’s reaction.

“Isn’t he the cutest?” Ino gushes. “He’s like a lost little puppy.”

“He’s something.” Is all Sakura can think to answer.

Ino’s eyes turn mischievous and swing to Sakura. “So you got Shikamaru to come. Who was right again?”

Of course, Ino wanted to get in her I-told-you-so about it being relatively easy to get Shikamaru to come.

She tries to make it sound more trouble than it was. “Yeah, well you don’t know what I had to promise to get him to come here, Ino-pig.”

“Oh my, Forehead!” Ino lets out a scandalized giggle. Sakura’s face heats, realizing Ino took it sexually. “On the contrary, I want to know every saucy detail.”

“It’s nothing like that!” Sakura says, but Ino is unphased.

“Just as long as it’s nothing naughty in the theater. It’s all fun and games until you’re halfway through a hand job and a worker shines a flashlight on you with your hand down some guy’s pants in front of a theater full of judgy middle-aged women who clearly don’t understand the concept of spontaneous romance.”

“That’s so specific,” Sakura says suspiciously. “Please tell me that didn’t actually happen to you.”

“Yes, well,” Ino waves of her comment, “Learn from my mistakes Sakura. But more importantly, don’t mentally scar me by getting freaky with my teammate while I’m 2 seats down.”

“I should say the same to you!” Sakura says, blushing further, but Ino doesn’t make any promises.

Shikamaru and Sai return. Shikamaru looks more disgruntled than ever.

“That was the most troublesome conversation I’ve ever had.” He grumbles under his breath to her, low enough for Sai and Ino to miss. But as Ino passes, he says, “You owe me two times now for that.”

Sakura flushes. Although Sakura knows he means 2 weekends, Ino doesn’t. She wiggles her eyebrows and Sakura wants to sink into the floor from embarrassment.

He hands her a ticket with ‘Illusion of Silence’ written on the front, and she asks, “What are we seeing? A horror movie?”

“It was that or a sappy romcom. Just remember I chose the lesser of two evils.” He says and takes her hand again, leading her to the theater. It feels a little strange to be holding hands, but she doesn’t say anything. The trailers haven’t started yet, so they have no trouble finding their seats. The theater is mostly empty anyway, probably not a good sign for the movie quality.

She sits down between Shikamaru and Sai.

“Sakura, how is what you pass off as sketching going?” Sai asks.

Pass off. She suppresses the urge to smack him across the head. That kind of thing was frowned upon in these types of establishments.

“Terrible. I think Kurenai-sensei gave up on me.”

Kurenai had barely kept from laughing at Sakura when she’d shown her sketch book. It was pitiful, and while there had been a small improvement in Sakura’s visual genjutsu, Kurenai had decided to move on to a different topic. She still had to keep up the activity, but just not as her main focus.

Now they were working on non-visual genjutsu. Sakura found this a lot easier for some reason. Inducing pain, sounds, tastes, smells, all of that was just chemicals moving around the body. She understood those. She’d dealt with those before.

While she’d been extremely glad for the change in topic, she couldn’t manage to look forward to her lessons anymore. It was hard not to look at Kurenai differently after learning about her secret affair with Kakashi. It was a difficult feeling to explain, but every time she remembered it, her chest grew heavy, like something had reached inside her chest and squeezed a fist around her heart. She grits her teeth just thinking about it.

“I told you giving up was the best option,” Sai says sweetly, “No reason to waste your time improving a hopeless skill.”

“Shut up, Sai. A student is only as good as their teacher and you were absolutely no help.” She grumbles.

“Hey, don’t blame Sai because you can only draw stick figures. Some people just aren’t born to be artists like he was,” Ino defends, sending a starry eyed look at Sai and resting a hand to Sai’s arm. Then she pulls him into a conversation about what his ‘artistic genius’ has be working on lately.

“Is it really going that bad?” Shikamaru asks referring to her genjutsu training. His eyebrows are drawn in with concern.

“I don’t know.” She grumbles. She doesn’t want to admit it, but from Kurenai’s reactions, she felt it was going that badly. She wasn’t improving as fast as she should be. It seemed like something on a fundamental level just wasn’t clicking. “I try to do what Kurenai is instructing, but it just doesn’t seem to be working. We are so different that sometimes its hard to understand what she wants from me. Plus, it doesn’t help that genjutsu is so subjective.”

“Why don’t we work on it together next week. It might help to get a fresh perspective.”

“Really? That would be amazing,” She says with a smile.

“Of course.” He takes her hand again, rubbing a thumb across the back.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Shikamaru.” She says, squeezing his hand back.

“Let’s not find out,” he jokes, try to be nonchalant but he’s beaming from the comment.

Sakura lets out a yawn, “Let’s not.”

“You’re not going to fall asleep on me, are you?” He teases.

“No, I’m fine.” Sakura lies. She’d had practice with Team Guy this morning at 6am but had stayed up until 2am doing research. Physically, she was running out of steam fast. As the lights dim, she finds it harder and harder to keep her eyes open.

Shikamaru shakes her awake. Sometime during the opening credits, she fell asleep on his shoulder.

“Oh, sorry,” She says, groggily. Then whispers, “What did I miss?”

“Everything,” he answers with a smirk.

“What?” She hisses, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

He shrugs, “You needed the rest. The point was to relax tonight, right?”

“I guess,” she grumbles.

“The movie sucked anyway,” he says standing.

“That was so scary!” Ino gushes to Sai. “I’m so glad you were here with me, Sai. I felt much safer.”

“It was not really that scary, Beautiful. No reason to be afraid of pictures.” He says confused. Ino huffs.

As they leave, Ino insists on a walk in the park across the street, but within minutes, she’s slipped off with Sai. The suggestive wink tells Sakura everything she needs to know about her plans.

Even just being friends with her, this was uncomfortable. Shikamaru actually was interested at some point. She wondered what he thought of all this.

“How is this not extremely weird for you?” Sakura asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Well didn’t you and Ino date a while back?” She explains and Shikamaru looks at her like she’s grown a second head.

“Tsh, no. Definitely not.”

“Well, you liked her though, right?”

He’s pouting, and reluctantly says, “Years ago, maybe. It wasn’t a big deal though.”

“But you guys kissed.” She counters. That seemed like a pretty big deal to her.

He stiffens and goes bright red, “Can Ino not keep her mouth shut about anything?”

“See, it is weird,” she says. But he doubles down.

“No, it’s not.” He disagrees crossing his arms, “That barely counts.”

But now she’s picturing the worst. A grating feeling rises in her chest at the thought of Shikamaru and Ino kissing and she has a strange compulsion to ask just what counts as barely counting.

“Barely counts how?” She says. She’s not able to look him in the eyes, so she trains her gaze on an ice cream cart across the park.

“I dunno, it just does.” He shrugs.

“Because it wasn’t good?” She offers. She hopes it wasn’t good.

“No, it was good,” He says defensively.

“That’s not what she said…” Sakura says skeptically, peaking at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Whatever,” Shikamaru grumbles. He’s scowling, “I can kiss just fine. She’s just trying to cover up that she’s the one who initiated the whole thing in the first place.”

“She did?” This surprises her and somehow it makes a difference.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Shikamaru states, picking up his pace. She strides right along undeterred.

“Well did you, like, want to kiss her?”

“I guess. Why does it matter?”

“Because!” She can’t seem to put the why into words. It’s just a queasy feeling turning her stomach. Even though it’s not the full truth, she offers the explanation, “You made out with your teammate, that’s a big deal.”

He stops short and turns to fully face her.

“It isn’t a big deal and we didn’t make out, okay.” He clarifies.

“Then what was it?”

“Just a kiss, Sakura”

“Well yeah, but was it a long, passionate kind -,”

“So troublesome,” he grumbles into the sky.

“Or just a quick -,”

She’s cut off by a warm pressure on her lips and her mind goes blank. As soon as she realizes what’s happening, it’s over.

Shikamaru pulls back a few inches, hands still cupping her face and searches her expression for her reaction. He kissed her.

“That’s all it was.” He murmurs, eyes dark and voice low. Her breath catches in her throat, the queasy feeling in her stomach grows magnitudes greater.

“Obviously I’d do things a little differently now,” He murmurs and his eyes flash, daring her to ask just how.

She should say something, but she couldn’t even if she wanted to. Her mind has snagged on the previous moment. The only additional thing she can seem to process is the warmth of his hands on her cheeks and his calming scent of pine and earth. She’s completely rooted in place by the heat in his chocolate brown eyes. It stokes something inside her. Maybe it is curiosity because she wonders what she would feel if just leans forward those few inches.

They bounce between her eyes and her lips, battling between waiting for her reaction and what she can only think to describe as desire. It only takes a few more moments for the latter to win.

He leans forward to capture her lips again, lingering longer this time. Its careful or rather experimental, testing her for a response she can’t seem to give. Again, he pulls back, studying her face. Again, from the moment his lips touched hers, her mind is just wiped blank, unable or unwilling to process it. Whatever he finds in her expression is enough.

His hand slides to the back of her neck and he kisses her again, deeper. Her eyes slide shut without conscious thought. She feels his other hand ghost down her side, stopping at her waist and pulling her closer. Her hands go to his chest to brace herself.

The pressure has him pulling back, checking over her face. He’s looking to see if she’s asked him to stop, she realizes, and a gentle warmth settles in her stomach. This time, his lips brush softly against hers, begging her to return the pressure and its so sweet, so unsure, that she reacts without thinking, relaxing into him. He pulls her closer, tension she hadn’t noticed draining from him and sighs against her mouth.

Finally, her thoughts are coming back to her, returning each slow, tender press of his lips against hers. The queasiness in her stomach settles into a gentle warmth and she relaxes into him. This is nice, she decides. It’s comfortable. Not great, not terrible.

It different than she’s ever felt before. Her heart isn’t beating out of her chest, she’s doesn’t feel butterflies in her stomach and she isn’t so caught up that needing air is secondary to feeling him against her.

Fine. Just fine.

Suddenly she thinks, shouldn’t it be better than just fine? Shouldn’t she be lit up inside, butterflies in her stomach, reluctant to separate even for air? The warmth in her freezes over.

“Stop,” She gasps, pressing against his chest. He steps back, and the distance seems to return more of her mind to her. The ball of ice in her stomach grows colder.

What was she doing? This was Shikamaru. Her closest friend, and she needed him like she needed air. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t get wrapped up in romance again and have everything between them fall apart. Because it would fall apart. That’s what love did to people or at least to her.

“That was a mistake” She finally decides. It was a mistake and they could forget about it and move on like it never happened. But Shikamaru’s face falls. He looks scared, she thinks.

“Don’t say that,” he begs, but she just shakes her head wrapping her arms around herself.

“I can’t do this,” Then looks into his eyes which are breaking in front of her.

“You don’t have feelings for me,” he tries.

But that’s not right. She felt something for him. He was so important to her and she’d be lying if she hadn’t found him attractive, but it didn’t quite feel like love. At least not how she’d loved Sasuke.

Even if it did, she didn’t want that anymore. Love only led to heartbreak and loss and she couldn’t lose him. Shikamaru was her only refuge in her storm of a life and she didn’t know how she’d stay afloat without him.

Words are pouring from her mouth, and she’s not even sure they make sense, but she can’t stop them.

“I-I don’t know how I feel. I just – I can’t lose you and if we do that, eventually we’ll screw everything up and I’ll lose you. I just can’t, Shikamaru. I can’t. I need you.”

Hope shines in his eyes. It’s a rejection, but not for the reason he feared. “You won’t lose me.”

“I will.” She insists. Now she’s the one that’s scared. She torn between needing the comfort of his embrace and wanting to keep him at arm’s length. She settles with taking a step closer and grabbing the opening of his vest. “You’re the most important person in my life. I don’t want anything to change between us.”

How can she explain it to him? How can she make him understand?

“Nothing will,” He whispers, hand coming to her face again. But she can see the gears turning in his head. He’s looking at her like a shogi piece now, something to outmaneuver, outthink to the outcome he wants. Anger flares up in her.

He strokes a thumb against her face, eyes settling again on her mouth.

“Don’t,” She snaps, turning her face from his palm. She needed to leave. They just needed some time apart and he’d realize he was just caught up in the moment or something at they’d put this behind them.

“I can’t. I just need a minute.” She says disengaging from him and striding off.

“Wait, Sakura!” he calls, but she doesn’t. He swears under his breath.

She needed to put some distance between them, she needed to time to think, but she if she left alone, he’d just follow her. Ino and Sai approach then, Ino clinging to Sai’s arm. She doesn’t want to talk with Ino, doesn’t want her judgy questions, so she strides up to her next best option.

“Sai, we’re getting ice cream,” She says, dragging him toward the stand across the part.

“Sounds enjoyable,” He says with a smile, not at all minding the interruption.

Ino on the other hand lets out an annoyed, “Hey!” but doesn’t fight her past that. Sakura and Sai are out of earshot before she has a chance.

Ino crosses her arms, icily looking Shikamaru up and down.

“You are really screwing this up, aren’t you?” Ino says with a smirk.

Shikamaru scoffs going red and snaps, “Like you’re doing any better.”

To which Ino lets out an indignant “Hmph!”

Sakura stops in front of the ice cream cart and gets them both a chocolate cone. Eating her feelings sounded wonderful right now.

“Shall we make some small talk now?” Sai asks with a smile. She groans.

“You don’t ask to make small talk, Sai. You just do it.” She explains, taking a lick of her chocolate ice cream. Its cold and sweet, but in a different way than Shikamaru had tasted.

Shit. Stop. That wasn’t allowed.

“Okay, so what are you doing after this?” He asks and it sounds like a pick-up line he probably read from a book on interacting with females. She rolls her eyes. Still, she’s thankful for the distraction and reminds herself this is still better than Ino.

“I’ll probably go back to the archives tonight and finish reading a few documents” She answers, talking another taste of her ice cream. Sai steps in front of her and she stops short.

“Did you not find the message I hid for you?” He says looking worried.

“What message?” She asks, confused.

“The one on the picture I gave you.” He says with a frown. Right, the picture of his brother. Is he talking about the numbers and symbol he signed in the corner? “You should go straight home tonight, Sakura.”

“Why would I do that?” she asks, growing annoyed that he won’t just get to the point.

“I cannot divulge that information.” He says robotically. She freezes.

“What did you just say?” she asks him to repeat.

“I cannot divulge that information.” He repeats and his eyes look urgent. It’s the phrase he uses when he’s close to triggering his seal. The message was about Danzo.

“Sai, what’s the message? What do you mean?” She grabs in shirt and pulls him to her, but he can’t answer.

“I cannot divulge -,”

“I get it!” She snaps at him. She has to ask it differently and her mind is racing a mile a minute over the possibilities.

“You said I shouldn’t go to the archives, right?” She tries, going back over his words.

“Yes, you should just stay home tonight.” He repeats.

“So, the message has something to do with the archives?”

“I cannot divulge -,” he begins.

“So, I’m right? You can’t tell me because I’m right.” She deduces quickly. “The message is about the archives. Is it a clue? Can I find it in the archives?”

“I cannot divulge that information.” He says, but this time seems to fight against it. “Don’t go there, Hag. You shouldn’t -,”

“Stop calling me Hag!” She bites out, unable to sensor herself, “I don’t care what I should or shouldn’t do. I’m going.” She releases his shirt and starts down the road.

“Wait!” He grabs her arm, “Listen, you shouldn’t -,”

“Was it important? Your message?” She interrupts.

“Yes,” he says, “but -,”

“Then I’m going to find it!” She says pulling her arm from his grasp and shoving her ice cream cone into it instead. She’s determined and sprints down the path. Sai had finally given her a clue about Danzo, and she’s not going to let this piece of information slip away.

“It’s not safe!” he calls, but she’s already disappeared into the night.

Reading this, I feel like this was better...hahaha oh well.

#ask #thanks for the ask!#dwl #done with love

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 5 years ago

Text

Let’s talk heroes\inspirations in life

For me having heroes is something that I don’t really do very often. I’m a little bit different and I think in a different way than I think most people would. To me what makes a true hero is somebody that I can admire. Whether they’re funny, talented, unique, weird themselves or they just do whatever they do\did so well that it changes my life for the better. A lot of these people you might not really understand and they are more people that I idolize that have changed my life and helped me become more confident than actual heroes. I will be counting two that actually has since passed away but he is a huge part of my personality.

The first person to me is the easiest, he’s the person that I try to emulate the most and he has helped me out in so many different ways through the characters that he’s played. My biggest hero is Rob Paulsen voice actor extraordinaire. This might come as a surprise to some of you who don’t know me in real life but I love cartoons, and when I say I love them I mean I LOVE cartoons. They are my main special interest and something that I study in my free time. The character who spoke to me when I was seven years old and lonely was Yakko Warner. If I watched his skits, I was no longer alone. I could laugh and if I could laugh that would mean eventually I would be alright. Most of what I know about the business comes from Rob’s Talkin’ Toons podcast that I listen to all the time the same episodes (I recommend the Richard Horvitz one, Billy West one and Charlie Adler one I learned the most from these three.) He has this saying that on the bad days I just say to myself and I start to smile “Laughter is the best medicine and the best thing is you can’t OD and the refills are free.” If I were to meet anybody on this list of six people I would want to meet him hands down. I would just want to thank him for everything that he has done for me.

Alright second hero out of six I idolize Lin Manuel Miranda writer lyricist for Alexander Hamilton and In The Heights. He also played the main character in both musicals. A lot of musical theater fans admire him but for me this is more of a personal story than anything else. I sent Lin a letter through snail mail around four years ago as something that I needed to do for school to graduate. I kept running outside to check the mailbox everyday after I got home from school and would see that the mailman came. Everyday I came back flipping through the bills, letters and other articles and my heart broke a little bit more every time. I thought that I wouldn’t hear anything so after two months I eventually gave up checking. Little did I know that right after Tonys season I would get my response. I ran inside screaming excitedly that it had finally came and my dad has been telling me to get it framed ever since. I feel like if I frame it though it will become a lot less real.

This next one is going to seem really stupid since I can’t ever have a conversation with him. For the reasoning that he does not speak English. I am speaking of course of Hayo Miyazaki-san the head of animation for Studio Ghibli. This man basically is like the Japan Walt Disney to me. I grew up with his films especially Totoro that was my favorite when I was really little. I would watch the opening scene and just die laughing at the little creatures making the silly faces. Over the course of my life he has given me relatability through his characters like Kiki who showed me that girls don’t just have to sweet and kind but can also save the day at the end of it. I have been so inspired to become a writer through his movies and even if he thinks that anime is essentially a mistake I couldn’t really care less because without him I wouldn’t have one of my biggest heroes in the world.

The first hero that passed away has been a massive part of my life for as long as I can remember even if I’ve only ever seen one film with him in it in a major role. I watched the movie Singin’ In The Rain with my grandma that I’ve since had to cut out of my life when I was four. She is where I get my love of musical theater from since my parents while they enjoy it they don’t love it like me. Most of my friends that know me probably find this hero really weird but if I were to want to thank any of these men it would be this one. Since I was four I have been obsessed with the tap dancing of Donald O’Connor. To me, even though he was around during the 40′s 50′s and 60′s when dancing was a huge deal since you had Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire and probably man more he is the one that has most inspired me. His enthusiasm when you got a pair of tap shoes on him is something that’s infectious. He is easily one of the handsomest celebrities to me as well there’s just something that he gave me when I was younger. It was this inspiration to be yourself even if that self was somewhat weird and spazzy he never once was anything other than the same goofball that always was. To me he is Cosmo the character that he played in Singin’ In The Rain. I’m going to watch I Love Melvin tomorrow, this year I’m making it a goal for myself to watch all the musicals that he was in. I also adore him in Out To Sea even though he has a bit of a minor part it was still one of my favorite parts of the movie. He makes just about everything better for me and I couldn’t be happier that I was introduced to him at such a young age.

My final one is probably right behind Rob Paulsen in terms of how much my life was changed thanks to him. He’s a man that everybody seems to have forgotten about but he worked for Disney during the 80's and 90's before he passed away. He was a songwriter who hit the bigtime when him and his writing partner made a little musical called Little Shop of Horrors. I am, of course talking about Howard Ashman. He gave me the confidence to always speak my mind in a sort of funny way. He didn’t take anybody’s bullshit and that spoke to a shy and socially awkward 15 year old me. I first learned about him through the documentary Waking Sleeping Beauty. I knew his name but I never really thought about the man that wrote the music I grew up with. He was very opinionated and usually knew best about music. We certainly wouldn’t have Part Of Your World or the Beast’s complex backstory if he hadn’t been writing and working so closely with the crew. That was my very long winded list of heroes. Do any of you have hero’s or people that have inspired you?

#hero #inspiration #rob paulsen #lin manuel miranda #hayo miyazaki #donald o'connor #howard ashman

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fedorasaurus · 5 years ago

Note

For the questions about the character, could you do Nash, fang, and bison? Sorry if it’s too much, but thank you in advance

No problem! I enjoy discussing characters that I’m fond of.

Nash

favorite thing about them - I really, really like that they put a “face” to the “dead best friend” that Guile’s whole motivation revolves around in Street Fighter II. Making Charlie Nash a playable character in Street Fighter Alpha gives a whole other level to the lore beyond a vague relation to one man who would eventually avenge his murder. Both of them being real, lovable characters makes me appreciate them that much more, and puts that much greater of an emotional impact on Charlie’s death and resurrection.

least favorite thing about them - (THIS ANSWER CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE GENERAL STORY OF STREET FIGHTER V) It disappoints me that Charlie gets killed off in multiple games and other media. The first time is fine, but was it really necessary to bring him back in SFV, only to have him sacrifice himself at the end, to no avail? I understand that the plot is maybe going for a theme of the futility of seeking vengeance above all else, but it gets complicated when you consider that Charlie was pushed along as hard as he was by Kolin pressuring him to accomplish HER goals. I’d have preferred if they let him, you know, reunite properly with Guile and team up to fight Bison together, rather than him feeling obligated to take the challenge on alone. Let Nash live for once, eh, Capcom? There’s more to him than “dead best friend!”

favorite line - Shameful, but his “you nervous?” taunt gives me the shivers, bigtime.

brOTP - Hands down, his interactions with Rashid are so pure. A little one-sided due to Nash’s coldness during the story, but seriously, the way Rashid is so open and friendly to him despite having just met this grumpy undead man, it makes me want to see the two of them hanging out more. He’s good for his mental health!

OTP - GUILE GUILE GUILE GUILE I’ve been shipping GuileNash since I first ever got into the SF series with Street Fighter Alpha a million years ago. I love them so much, you wouldn’t believe. My heart melts over best friends in love!

nOTP - Charlie/Bison isn’t really my jam.

random headcanon - Nash and Guile have a lot of stupid inside jokes between them. When they reunited during the storyline of SFV, it was a reference to one of the jokes that made Charlie smile again for the first time in years.

unpopular opinion - I don’t know if this is unpopular or not, but I prefer his young, pretty look over his SFV zombie look with the greenish parts stitched on. I get it, he’s been resurrected, no need to drive the point home THAT hard with “Frankenstein’s monster” aesthetics! But, that said, his new look has grown on me quite a bit!

song i associate with them - Maybe Monster, by Starset, if we’re talking Street Fighter V era.

favorite picture of them - I commissioned this artwork of Captain Commando Nash from AirSlasher on Twitter a while back, and it turned out so damned good, I’ve used it as the background image on my tablet ever since:

(This post is getting long, so the others are going under a pagebreak!)

F.A.N.G

favorite thing about them - His whole… over-the-top 90′s villain shtick. His high-energy personality and screechy voice not unlike a squawking bird, it slays me!

least favorite thing about them - As much as he cracks me up, I got real uncomfortable when he started threatening the kid characters. Even if it was empty threats, come on, dude. You don’t threaten kids.

favorite line - “LORD BISON WAIT FOR MEEEEE!”

brOTP - I love his banter with the other Shadaloo bosses. Both Vega and Balrog have that fantastic family/rival dynamic going on with him.

OTP - F.A.N.G / M. Bison is really, really good, man. I have… fanfics.

nOTP - I’ve seen F.A.N.G / Rashid, and I understand that people started shipping them before there was actual story context to make it… bad… but yeah… I’m uncomfortable with that ship. I mean, I guess Rashid is a kind and forgiving dude, but it would take a lot in my eyes for that ship to be good for me. Rashid deserves someone who doesn’t gloat about hurting people he cares about.

random headcanon - The reason M. Bison is a sexy silver fox in SFV is because that’s F.A.N.G’s type. If he’s responsible for bringing the boss man back, he’s gotta have him looking his BEST.

unpopular opinion - M. Bison is technically the “big bad,” but honestly? F.A.N.G is the main antagonist of Street Fighter V.

song i associate with them - Nnnghh stupid and obvious answer, but Poison, by Alice Cooper (also the cover by Groove Coverage which is more my music style preference than the original, as great as AC is!)

favorite picture of them - No picture in particular, but I really like his Nguuhao outfit. He was cute when he was young and had long hair!

M. Bison

favorite thing about them - Sexy silver fox.

least favorite thing about them - He killed my favorite Street Fighter character at least once, so I can only enjoy him but so much!

favorite line - Not a specific line, but the time in SFA3 when he called Sodom a piece of trash and then suddenly became interested in fighting him when he said he wanted to show him his special moves was pretty great. It’s such a M. Bison thing to give a person the time of day when they offer to show him their strength, even if that person is a big goofy weeaboo who maybe isn’t entirely prepared to fight a supervillain, but who has a hell of a lot of heart.

brOTP - Depending on the continuity, I could definitely see him being bros with Zangief and/or Sagat!

OTP - F.A.N.G / Bison is still amazing, t-trust me guys.

nOTP - Bison/Nash, Bison/Guile, but also I really don’t ship Bison/Rolento at all anymore. I know I was big on that for a while, but man, I’m way more inclined nowadays to want the villains hook up with a loyal villain in their own faction, you know?

random headcanon - After possessing Rose’s body, M. Bison held onto some of her traits, such as a sense of fashion and a love of taking baths. Considering that they share a soul, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have overlapping interests despite being on opposite sides of moral alignment! (Anyway, he’d look amazing in her sort of fancy clothes, and also that stink man is in need of a bath, if you ask me)

unpopular opinion - I don’t want Tumblr’s rules to get on me about this, but let’s just say I see him as being the ah… submissive type, if you know what I mean!

song i associate with them - Uhhh maybe Telepathic by Starset? I’ve been listening to a lot of Starset lately. The songs that come to mind are usually from their albums!

favorite picture of them - Did you mean “the best M. Bison alt costume in the entire series?” We got ourselves a sexy silver fox in a low-cut leather suit with his tiddy out and everything. Does it get better than this?

Honorable mention: this part in the Street Fighter Animated Series:

#asks #anonymous #character asks #Street Fighter #Charlie Nash #M. Bison #F.A.N.G #long post

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mischiefandspirits · 5 years ago

Text

Iron Legion (10/?)

Never let it be said that Tony Stark ever does things by half. He might have grown up with little family, but he wasn’t about to keep it that way.

Tony Stark was seventeen when his first child was born, and that was just the beginning.

For Masterpost, AO3, and Fanfiction

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Big Buff Uncle, Part 1

Tony Stark was thirty-six when Bruce was introduced to the family.

Nebs, Harley, and Peter all glared at one another.

“You really want to do this?” Harley growled.

“You think I’m scared of you?” Peter scoffed.

“Don’t even think of it, little brother,” Nebs hissed. “I will toss you off the balcony.”

Peter met her eyes and set down his card. “I’m out.”

Harley tackled him. “I just needed one more card you jerk.”

“I AM THE PHASE TEN MASTER!” Peter laughed, trying to shove his brother off.

Nebs slapped her cards onto the bed and stood up. She grabbed Peter and threw him over her shoulder.

“H-hey, Nebs, let me go!” he shouted, barely managing to keep his glasses on his face.

“Oh, I will. Right over the balcony.”

Peter’s eyes widened and he started squirming. “What? Hey, no, you can’t do that! Harley, help!”

“Revenge!” Harley cheered, following them down the hall.

“Mom!” Peter shouted as they made it into the living room.

“What are you three doing?” Mom asked, looking up from where she was working.

“Revenge!”

“Mom, they’re going to toss me off the balcony!”

Mom rolled her eyes. “Nebula, no tossing your brothers off the balcony.”

“I wasn’t going to actually toss him, just let him dangle.”

“Good to go on this end. The rest is up to you,” their dad's voice called out.

“No dangling each other hundreds of feet in the air,” Mom said before turning back to her work. “You disconnected the transmission lines? Are we off the grid?”

“Boo!” Harley jeered. He and Nebs shared a look. “Want to throw him in the pool instead?”

“Sure.”

“Mom!” Peter pleaded as they turned towards the elevator.

“Your father already cut the power. Take the stairs,” was her only response.

“I hate this family,” Peter groaned, flopping over.

“Maybe next time you’ll think twice about going out before we’ve laid down,” Nebs said.

“Maybe next time you’ll learn how to be good at cards,” Peter muttered as the lights came on.

Nebs jostled him and he coughed as his chest hit her shoulder.

An idea came to him and he gave a few more coughs. “I… I think I’m… having an attack!” he coughed out. “My inhaler!”

“You’re fine,” Nebs said blankly and the worry quickly fled Harley’s face.

“Nice try, bro.”

“Oh, don’t act like you didn’t fall for it,” Peter snorted.

Harley stuck his tongue out before rushing ahead to push the door to the penthouse’s lower level open for Nebs. “When did Pepper become Mom?”

“A few weeks ago. Uncle Rhodey asked when she and Dad were getting married and I realized that when they do, she’ll be our step-mom. I figured I’d get ahead of the game.”

“They’re not even engaged. Uncle Rhodey was just joking,” Nebs pointed out.

“It’s going to happen eventually,” Peter scoffed. “Uncle Happy agrees. He’s got a ring already.”

“That’s hilarious,” Harley chuckled.

Nebs froze just before the doorway to the pool.

“What’s up, Nebs?” Harley asked.

“Don’t call me that, and someone’s overwriting J.A.R.V.I.S.’s phone protocols.”

“Is that even possible?” Harley asked and Peter turned to try and look at her.

“Not typically. It seems Romanoff took more than we thought,” she growled. “I’m going to tear S.H.I.E.L.D. a new one.”

Peter groaned and went limp. “What do they want now?”

Nebs hummed and set him down. She brought up a projection of F.R.I.D.A.Y. in the elevator with a man in a suit. Her arms were crossed and she was tapping her foot on the floor. “Agent Coulson, as I’ve told you before, Boss isn’t seeing anyone right now. You can make an appointment -”

“It’s an emergency,” the man said.

“Then I will alert Boss and ask his permission. You do not need to invade our home and hack my brother!”

The man ignored her, holding his phone up. “Stark, we need to talk.”

“You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message.”

“This is urgent.”

“Then leave it urgently.”

Coulson stepped out of the elevator and F.R.I.D.A.Y. said, “Sorry Boss, he wouldn’t listen and used a device to override my control of the elevator. I’ve alerted security. Should I call the rozzers?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Coulson said.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Nebs growled, turning back to the stairs. “You two stay down here.”

The two shared a look and darted into a media room. “Jay, bring up the security feed!”

“… Fury I didn’t want to have anything to do with S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Dad was saying as the feed came up on the tv. He was standing next to Mom with a glass of champagne, glaring at Coulson. F.R.I.D.A.Y. was behind them, holding up a holographic phone.

“Give the word Boss,” she said cheerfully.

“That won’t be necessary,” Mom said, stepping forward and F.R.I.D.A.Y. pouted, letting her prop disappear. “Phil! Come in.”

“Phil? Uh, his first name is Agent,” Dad said, following her.

“Oh no, they’ve turned Mom!” Peter gasped.

“Come on in, we're celebrating.”

“Which is why he can't stay.”

“We need you to look this over,” Coulson said, holding out a tablet.

“No, what you need to do is leave,” Nebs said, marching in with her mask and her red pixie cut wig on.

Coulson turned to her with curiosity. “Ms. Parker, I thought you quit.”

“I work with security now,” tapping her hip where her badge and gun were strapped to her belt. “And as security, I’d be happy to show you out.”

Coulson turned back to Dad. “Mr. Stark -”

“Even if I was your consultant, which I’m not, official consulting hours are between eight and five every other Thursday.”

“Is this about The Avengers?” Mom asked.

“I turned that down too,” Dad pointed out, taking a drink.

“This isn’t about personal preferences anymore. We need Iron Man.”

Tony smirked. “More than you know.”

“Not that much.”

Mom took the tablet and pushed it into Dad’s hand.

“Whatever,” Tony huffed, walking away.

Nebs stepped up to Coulson’s side. “You’ve dropped off your package, now kindly exit the building or I will have to resort to force.”

“Look that over, Stark,” he said before allowing Nebs to take him into the elevator.

“I never get to do anything fun,” they heard F.R.I.D.A.Y. sigh before J.A.R.V.I.S. closed the feed.

“What do you think was on the tablet?” Peter asked.

“Probably cool classified spy stuff we’re not supposed to know,” Harley answered.

“Probably,” Peter agreed. He looked at his brother. “We’re going to go find out, aren’t we?”

“Of course,” Harley said, throwing his arm over Peter’s shoulders.

“You’re going to get us into trouble with the spies,” Peter said, but followed his brother out of the room and up the stairs all the same.

Mom and Dad were whispering to themselves when they arrived, but broke apart when she spotted them.

She kissed him and said, “Work hard.” She came over to them and ruffled their hair. “Change of plans. I’m flying out to DC tonight. Your father has some work to do. If you need anything, go to your sisters first before bothering him, please.”

“What’s going on?” Harley asked.

“Nothing you kids need to worry about. Go shove each other into the pool or whatever you were doing before.”

Harley pouted, but Peter just rolled his eyes. Everyone knows you don’t go to Mom for information and you certainly can’t work the puppy eyes on her.

He waited until Mom had left before slipping up next to where Dad and F.R.I.D.A.Y. were going over the files from the tablet. “So what’s going on?”

Dad snorted, but explained, “Fury lost something and he’s going to need some help finding it.”

“Something?”

“A power source, one that apparently can make wormholes. Your grandfather mentioned it one of those journals Fury dropped off in his attempt to turn me to the dark side.”

“Cool!” Harley said. “Hey, is that the Hulk!?”

Peter’s eyes lit up. “Are you going to get to meet Dr. Banner!?”

Dad gave him a look. “No way, kid. You wanna meet the jolly green, you’ve got to go through Jen.”

Peter widened his eyes and leaned against him. “But Dad!”

“Nuh-uh, Petey-pie. I’m not bringing you into this just so you can meet Banner. Especially with Fury hovering about. Call Jen.”

Peter crossed his arms. “Fine, I will. Jay -”

His dad placed his hand over Peter’s mouth. “Yeah, no. She’s got her own big green problems to deal with. She doesn’t need to be dragged into Fury’s circus either. Why don’t you go play? Pep said you guys were going swimming? Do that. We can talk about meeting Banner later.”

“Promise?”

“Nope,” Dad chirped and Peter frowned. “Get out of here you gremlins. I’ve got to find Fury’s box before the guy who stole it blows something up or whatever he’s planning.”

“Sweet,” Harley said. “Can we blow something up when you're done?”

“Sure, sounds fun, just don’t tell your mother.”

“Tori or Pepper?” Peter asked and Tony blanched.

“Alright, we’re done here. Out! Out!”

The two snickered as they left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Finally, someone who speaks English.”

“Is that what just happened?”

Tony shook Banner’s hand with a smile. “It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.”

“Thanks,” the other man said, looking uncomfortable.

“Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube.”

Tony ignored Fury. “Really, it’s great to meet you after all this time. I’ve heard so much. Don’t know why Jen refused to introduce us.”

Banner’s eyes widened. “You know Jen?”

“Met some years back. Great lawyer. She really helped me out so I return the favor sometimes when she needs some extra resources for a case. Glad she’s finally working the bigtime. Guess she just needed a little backbone. Gets it from your side of the family, I hear.”

The doctor froze and Tony slapped his back. “Don’t be modest, Banner. Big Green’s tenacity can’t have just come out of nowhere.”

“Is that what you call it?” Romanoff muttered.

“Let’s get back on track, Stark,” Fury ordered.

“I would start with Loki’s stick. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Saved it for what?”

“I guess we'll find out.”

“You might not like that.”

“You just might.”

“Boss, you’re getting a call. It’s from you-know-who,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. announced.

“Thanks, Baby Girl,” Tony said, pulling his phone out. “Sorry, Brucie, gotta take this.”

“You know they’re just going to eavesdrop on you,” Banner pointed out.

“I’d like to see them try.” Tony slipped out of the lab and into a nearby empty one. “Fri, Jay, scramble all nearby signals with audio or video. Don’t bother being nice about it.”

“Of course, Sir.”

“Right away, Boss.”

A moment later, the call connected. “Hey kids, how’re you doing?”

“We’re good,” Peter said while Harley, as per usual, got straight to the point.

“Did you fight the bad guy?”

“Yup. Kicked his butt. Now Dr. Banner and I are trying to find what he stole.”

“Can -”

“No, Pete.”

“Did you meet Captain Ice Pop?” Harley asked.

“Otter Pop,” Peter corrected.

“I otter shut you up!”

“I don’t know what you're arguing about and I don’t care. Yes, I met the Capsicle.”

“I like ours better,” Harley said.

“You can’t even agree on one!”

“Still.”

“Is he a jerk like grandpa?” Peter asked.

“Your grandfather wasn’t… a jerk exactly… but yes.”

“Knew it! Pay up, Nebs!” Peter chirped.

“Oh good, Nebula is there. I was starting to get worried.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. told me I couldn’t tie them up and leave them in their rooms until you returned.”

“Probably for the best. Not sure how long this is going to take.”

“Where are you now?” Harley asked.

“Some giant flying S.H.I.E.L.D. ship. Jay took pictures. I’ll have him show you.”

“Is that legal?” Peter asked.

“Probably not.”

“Are you almost done in there?” Banner called.

“Break time’s over. Call you later, kids.”

“Bye, Dad!” Peter and Harley shouted as one.

“Goodbye, Father,” Nebula added.

“Bye, love you, don’t kill each other.” Tony hung up with a smile and returned to Banner’s lab.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Threat! Verbal threat! I feel threatened!”

“Sta-”

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Tony blinked and pulled his sleeve down to look at his watch.

“Got somewhere to be, Stark?” Romanoff snarked.

Ignoring her, he frowned at the readout on his watch before pointing at the staff. “That thing needs to be put in a box. Preferably lead-lined and far away.”

Fury rolled his eye. “Stark, we need -”

Tony brought up his watch’s holographic display. “See this? It’s a monitoring watch the doc makes me wear after I stuck this,” he tapped the reactor, “in my chest without talking to her first.” Not a lie, exactly. He’d made it after she’d found out about the palladium poisoning, which was after he’d put in the new reactor. “And see this,” he highlighted one graph. “It’s supposed to monitor the radiation given off by the reactor. It’s usually low enough not to be a concern, but right now there’s been a sudden spike.” He held up his hand when literally everyone tried to interrupt. “But the energy isn’t concentrating in my chest like the rest, it’s focused in my brain.” He brought up a visual for effect.

Bruce leaned in closer. “That’s the amygdala. It’s in charge of emotions.”

“Between having this in my chest twenty-four-seven and the vitamins the doc shoves down my throat, I’d be immune at these levels. Maybe a headache at most, which I’ve definitely got. Can’t say if it’s from the glow stick or Capsicle, though. You all, on the other hand, would be a different story.”

“Our arguing,” Thor said, catching on and sending the staff a look.

“Stark is arguing too,” Cap pointed out.

“That’s just my natural personality,” Tony said with a shrug. His personality compounded by his daddy issues, but still.

“You need to bring something in to contain this thing,” Bruce told the agents.

“We still need to track down the Tesseract,” Fury argued.

“We’re already running the search. We don’t need it anymore. Get it out of here,” Tony said.

Romanoff glanced between Bruce and the stick. “We should probably do what they say. This might be exactly what Loki wants, to make Banner angry.”

“It’s working,” he muttered and Tony wrapped his arm around the man’s shoulders.

“Why don’t you let off some steam? I hear it’s not good to bottle it all up.”

Bruce raised a curious eyebrow, but both were distracted by Cap pulling Tony away.

“You know damn well why! Back off!”

Oh, I’m starting to want you to make me, Tony thought, but shoved it down. Instead, he said, “Calm down, Captain Otter Pop.”

“Otter Pop?” Cap mumbled, looking lost.

Whoops, Harley was going to kill him.

He didn’t have long to think about that though because right then the computer went off, indicating that the Tesseract had been found.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“He wants flowers. He wants parades! He wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered…” Tony cut off and his heart clenched. “Son of a bitch,” he hissed pulling out his phone and rushing out of the room. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., contact Nebula. Have her evacuate the tower. Get everyone out yesterday!”

There was no response.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.!”

“Stark, what’s going on?”

“He’s taken the tower!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Nebs?” Peter whispered.

She shook her head and put a finger to her lips.

The footsteps in the corridor continued on without stopping and all three relaxed.

Nebula waited a few moments, then reached out to F.R.I.D.A.Y.

The AI appeared in the room. “All the invaders have left the floor.”

“Who are they?” Harley asked.

“I recognized some of them from the files Boss was given. They are the ones he is meant to be tracking.”

“Can you reach him?” Nebula asked.

“No. The moment they arrived some odd energy wrapped around the building, preventing any communication with the outside world.”

“Is that how they’re getting around security?” Harley asked and F.R.I.D.A.Y. snorted.

“They’re not getting around it. They’re just smashing down whatever doors they need to get through. And without being able to send out a signal, the alarms are useless. I turned the sound off since it’d be annoying to listen to.”

“What are we going to do?” Peter asked.

“We need to get you two out of here,” Nebula said. “Do you think you can find a safe route out, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“I can try, but it might be better to just wait here. Boss will realize something is wrong soon.”

The three shared a look and shook their heads.

“Naw.”

“Nope.”

“We need to move.”

F.R.I.D.A.Y. sighed. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Do we know what they’re after?” Peter asked.

“Don’t even think about it,” Nebula hissed.

“But -”

“No,” she said, cutting Harley off. “We are getting you two out of here, now.”

“Fine,” Harley huffed and Peter pulled out his phone.

Nebula pushed open the door and looked out. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., how does the -” She spun around as something tapped into the intranet. “Peter!”

“They’re siphoning energy from the arc reactor. Bet they won’t like this then,” he said, tapping at the screen.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. disappeared.

Nebula’s eye twitched. “Did you just turn off the arc reactor?”

“Yup.”

“The one they were currently using?”

“Yes,” he answered slowly, wondering what she was getting at.

“Did it occur to you that they might wonder how the arc reactor could be shut down if no one outside the building can remotely reach inside?”

No, it did not.

“Nice going, now they know we’re here,” Harley said, shoving him.

“As soon as the backup generators kick in, have F.R.I.D.A.Y. get you out. I’ll act as a distraction.” Nebula placed her finger in Peter’s face. “No more dumb moves!”

“Right, of course, promise!”

She nodded and slipped out the doorway.

“Smart moves on the other hand,” Peter hummed, turning back to his phone.

“What are you thinking?”

“Remember how Dad blew up Stane by overloading the reactor?”

“Yeah,” Harley said, smirking as he caught on.

“Think we can make whatever they’ve got blow up if we shove enough power into it.”

“I like the way you think.”

“Does anyone want my opinion?”

The two froze, turning as their hologram sister reappeared alongside emergency lighting.

“You gonna rat us out?”

She smirked. “If you want to boost the power of the reactor, you’re going to have to do it manually at the controls near the base. I’ll show you the way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So here are the kids everyone has figured out so far: 1. Nebula 2. Dum-E 3. U 4. Jarvis 5. Peter 6. Harley 7. Friday 8. ??? 9. ??? 10. Jocasta 11. Karen 12. ??? 13. Morgen 14. Edith

With the grandkids Vision & Vivian. Also, I've been informed I should include Droney and Redwing in the count, though they're more like pets.

So you guys are still missing three. Also, the three crossed out might end up with different names because of plot reasons. I'm still deciding.

A hint for the three you guys haven't guessed: 8 and 9 are from the comics and alongside Jocasta are called the triplets in this AU, while 12 is adopted like Nebula and is technically in the MCU, but only so far as their origin story.

#tony stark #peter parker #harley keener #iron family #Avengers

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sweetlykissedadora · 5 years ago

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My Eyes Adored You

Here’s a song-fic for @catradora-week Day 2: Together/Apart

Adora and Catra grew up as best friends, despite being polar opposites. It was a well known fact in their small hometown that the girls were attached at the hip ever since they met at four years old. Everything they had gone through, good and bad, they had each other. Catra believed that they were meant to know one another, to mold them into the people they were destined to be. Adora believed that. They pushed themselves while together, they brought out their best sides. She never wanted that to end. She knew it would though, so she tried to keep her distance, to a certain extent. It was hard though, when everything her best friend did took her breath away.

“Till we grew into the me and you and went our separate ways

My eyes adored you though I never laid a hand on you

My eyes adored you like a million miles away from me

You couldn't see how I adored you.”

Catra was the artistic type, running around with a camera ever since she could hold one. Nobody really knew what awoke the passion in her, but it was meant to be. Everyone who had seen her pictures knew it. For crying out loud, her photographs went into the town gazettes at the age of eight. She was destined for greatness, and she was desperate to chase it. Since she was ten, all the girl would talk about was getting out of the ‘deadbeat town’ and seeing the world.

The photographer always made fun of Adora, calling her ‘one of those people’. The kind that never intended to leave the comfort of her hometown. Adora was the town’s sweetheart. Athletic, model student, and always one to give back to the town. While she had every opportunity to hit the bigtime with her copious amount of skills, she preferred the idea of staying there as a coach. It was rewarding to her, helping other kids learn and grow through the sports that she loved so much.

Adora would never forget the first time Catra insisted in high school that nothing would ever keep her tied down to this town. She wanted to be rid of it once and for all the day after graduation. It changed everything for her, and she knew she could never confess her feelings to Catra. The tough and edgy girl had always been soft for Adora, so confessing would only hurt them both. It would make Catra hesitant to ditch the town, and it would make Adora feel guilty for putting that burden on her. It wasn’t fair, so she tried to play it cool.

Even the day after graduation, she was trying to hold herself together as she helped Catra load up her car. Just as she’d always said, she was heading off to New York. From their hometown Superior, Arizona it was a 36 hour drive. Even with their families going on vacation, it would be the farthest away the two had ever been. While Adora managed to see her best friend off without shedding a tear, she couldn’t help but fall apart on the walk home.

“Headed for city lights, climbed the ladder up to fortune and fame

I worked my fingers to the bone made myself a name

Funny I seemed to find that no matter how the years unwind

Still I reminisce 'bout the girl I miss and the love I left behind

My eyes adored you though I never laid a hand on you

My eyes adored you like a million miles away from me

You couldn't see how I adored you”

Catra was loving the freedom that came with being on her own, and the opportunities that were opened up to her by being in a central city. It didn’t take her long at all to build up a strong network of references and get the pretty high profile jobs newbies desperately vied for. She was right where she asked to be, traveling all over for photoshoots as an assistant in a year. The hours were long, and sometimes felt more like torture. Still, in three years, she had her own open gallery and the personal studio in the works. It was everything she had ever wanted.

It got lonely sometimes. Somehow she and Adora never talked anymore. It was no secret that her best friend had been in love with her for ages, there was no hiding it. Honestly, she had expected the girl to ask her to stay. Confess and try to find some compromise for them to make things work. When it didn’t happen though, Catra was a little hurt.

Sure, Catra had met a lot of people here. Even tried dating after a while, but it was really only people she worked around. Constantly she found herself comparing people to Adora though. Nobody could replace this girl who knew her backwards and forwards. Her every thought, her every hope, every dream. Nobody got lucky enough to have two of those in her lifetime, and she had stuffed it all up.

“All my life I will remember how warm and tender we were way back then

Oh the feeling, sad regrets I know I won't ever forget you

My childhood friend”

The rift between them now was Catra’s fault. Initially, she thought it would be good to give Adora her space. Let her move on. Still, Adora was great. She sent supportive messages, kept her updated about her life and asked about Catra’s. The perfect friend, just like always. Catra was swamped though, and way too in over her head to be wrapped up in a social life. She always promised herself she would text, call, or email Adora back later. Later never came though, and before she knew it a year had passed. Slowly but surely the messages from Adora became less frequent and basically stopped all together.

Over the years, Catra kept trying to focus on her work. This was why she left. This was what her dream was. Was it worth it though? She couldn’t seem to convince herself it was. She had feelings for Adora too, feelings that had never gone away after all this time. Maybe her dream had changed, and she was too prideful to admit it to herself. Maybe she could have been happy, traveling a bit, but still settling down back in her hometown. All of the ‘What if?’ questions drover her absolutely crazy. Even having accomplished what was supposed to be her ‘calling’, she was miserable. Did Adora even miss her one bit? It had been over a year since Catra reached out, texting Adora pictures of her favorite things. Nothing came back though.

One day when Catra was cleaning up after a shoot, alone in her studio, she found a letter that was stuck behind the computer on her desk.

Worried it was from an unanswered client, Catra reached behind to grab it. As soon as she saw who it was from though, she froze. Adora, her Adora. How did she know about this studio though? It was one of her newest.

She hopped up on the desk, using her claws to tear the top open. Out flew what looked like a note card. Quickly, the girl jumped up and grabbed it from the floor. Turning it around her eyes went wide. It was the first picture Catra ever let Adora take on her camera. Freshman year, they had been messing around, and Catra was reaching for the camera that Adora held towering over them. A moment which resulted in what was a true fluke on Adora’s part, since the photo came out as both of their favorites. The girl did not know how to zoom in on the camera, let alone use one. Still, it captured perfection in Catra’s eyes.

The two of them curled up in Adora’s bed with rainbow twinkle lights wrapped around the bed posts. Them, face to face, noses touching due to Catra trying to reach for the camera. Everything else was out of focus in the most perfect of ways though, the lights seemed to morph into a heart around them. Adora wore a telling smile, and Catra was blushing from being so close. That picture captured the moment Catra realized Adora had true feelings for her, and that she wasn’t alone in them.

Rolling her eyes, which were starting to tear up, Catra moved to shove the photo away. The letter was probably just a casual catch up, or some sort of announcement that she had found ‘the one’ and was going to settle down. She couldn’t take reading that crap. Still, how would she get any work done if she left yet another ‘what if?’ lingering over her?

Taking a deep breath, she turned the card over and began to read it.

‘Hey Catra,

Been too long, and I’m sorry about that. Lost my phone a year and a half ago, but felt like I was keeping in touch by following your work. I didn’t think it was possible, but you have gotten so much better! I am so proud of everything that you have accomplished. I see why you had to get out of this town to do it, too. I still show off all of your shoots around town, and they all send their congratulations too. Anyways, I found this while I was packing. My team won and are going to nationals. They’re being held in New York, and I just wanted to let you know I’ll be stopping by your studio. Let me know if you have any free time.xx

Your Adora’’

At the very bottom of the picture was Adora’s new number, and the dates she would be out there. Catra quickly pulled up the calendar on her phone and chewed her lip. She would be out here in a month’s time. That was close. Close-ish?

“So close, so close and yet so far”

#mine #catradora-week #catradora week Day 1 #spop #she ra #catra #adora #she ra fan fic #spop fic #catradora fic #my writing

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brishu · 5 years ago

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Almost Everyone

My daughters were introduced to the music of the Backstreet Boys by camp counselors, so their only context for hearing some of their bigger hits (and they have an astonishing number of very big hits) was the enthusiasm of people about 10 years older than them. No anti-boyband snark, no snobbery that looks askance at performers who don’t play instruments. They began asking for specific songs to be added to their music players, and even requested “As Long As You Love Me” at my dearest friend’s daughter’s Bat Mitzvah party. To them, the Backstreet Boys were as much a part of the pop canon as Elvis, only still out there performing.

Their response to the BSB’s seemed to be purely musical. It’s possible that they got high on secondhand boyband fumes, since their counselors’ enthusiasm was surely fueled by the gangbusters marketing campaign designed to make millions of kids fall in love with AJ, Brian, Nick, Howie and Kevin, which is probably even harder to pull off than it sounds. But as much as I’d like to, I can’t discount the quality of the music either. And if I’m shocked that five cute boys who first performed together in 1993 just hung another Number 1 album on the Billboard charts (which apparently also still exist), maybe it’s my shock that should be shocking. I also envied the girls their ready embrace of songs they liked without subjecting them to the battery of artistic litmus tests their sonically dyspeptic father does.

The psychotherapeutic industry seems built upon the distinction between gentle and brutal. If you make the same, relatively harmless mistake repeatedly, steps toward correction are fine, but ease up on the internal machete. If you are too prone to lying to maintain valuable relationships or hold down a job, stop treating your dishonesty like fine china, you goddamn schlemiel. OK, I’m not a psychological expert but one of the things I’ve been working on in therapy is retaining a consistent striving for improvement while loosening an attachment to self-flagellation. So, occasional desire to make my children happy aside, was it a well-earned moment of transcendence or a mere boot to my own aesthetics that led me to sneak off to the Barclays Center to buy a trio of Backstreet Boys tickets while the girls were in Hebrew school?

I didn’t tell them about the tickets for several months, but ultimately I worried that surprising them on the day of the concert would pressure them to evince unnatural levels of appreciation for their loving father’s amazing gesture, so about two weeks before the show, I gave them a heads up.

Another chronic difficulty I have is ordering food from people whose first language is not English. I don’t think it makes me Steve King to cling to the generalization that they never take me seriously when I say I want it spicy. So on the day of the concert I ordered Thai food and asked them to make it “extra, extra, extra spicy please.” In retrospect that was at least one “extra” too many. But by the time we had dinner before the show, I forgot about lunch and slathered everything I ate with hot sauce, which I believe contributed to my need of a bathroom that undermined my plan to arrive at the Barclays Center by 7:30 so we could get through the security line before the show started at 8.

I had looked up the setlists from Chicago and Detroit and noted that they opened the show with a song called “Everyone”, which I thought was the one where they’re like “Everybaaaah-day! Rock your baaaah-day!”, which in my self-conferred Masters in Backstreetology seemed like the only appropriate opener so I really, really didn’t want the girls to miss it, which brought on a sustained castigation of why I prioritized capsaicin over keeping promises I’d silently (and inaccurately) made to my children.

We got into the arena at about 8:12 and, hearing noise emanating from the stage, rushed up several flights of stairs to our seats. That’s when we learned that there was an opening act named Baylee Littrell (it wasn’t until the next morning that I learned he was Brian Littrell’s 16 year-old son). What we caught of his set assuaged whatever guilt I felt about what we missed, but I did appreciate that he played with actual bass, guitar and drums (plus keyboards, horns and back-up vocals that could not be seen onstage). We looked him up on Spotify to see how many plays his songs had gotten and determined that the one with more than 300,000 would be the closer. Do you know how many great bands would harm the elderly for 30,000 plays??? Fruit & Flowers only have two songs over 20k. Look ‘em up, they rule. Anyway, we were right. It was a song called Boxes and apparently the girl Baylee loves checks off all 22 of them.

I have shadowy memories of watching the Backstreet Boys’ debut on Saturday Night Live with this perfectly synced dance involving chairs that they may or may not have stacked at one point during their number. At the time I was appalled by them, but proud of myself for being sophisticated enough to label their performance Fosse-esque. Harboring the incorrect assumptions that “Everyone” was the song I thought it was, and that their act had not evolved in the 20 years since I saw them on SNL, I tried to share in the excitement of the folks around me. Our neighbors were a very attractive young man and woman who kept apologizing when they passed us to get to the aisle. I tried not to eavesdrop but I did hear the young man extol his therapist to his friend (somehow it was clear they weren’t a couple). Just before the show started the young woman asked if I was the fan bringing my kids along or vice versa. I said it was mainly the kids but I was stoked too. She said that she and her friend had caught the band in Vegas and it was so amazing that they had to go again in Brooklyn and don’t mind her when she sang along to every lyric, even the new ones. Our conversation ended abruptly when the lights went down and she joined the collective “WHOO!” volleying stageward.

As though in response, the stage started to open with almost unbearable slowness, suspense mounting as aperture expanded to maw, and I realized that I am unable to experience a reveal like that without hearkening back to one of the earliest and most vivid aural memories I have- the hinges creaking at the beginning of the Monster Mash. On angled video screens, band members appeared, one by one, in slow motion. The way they fingered their hat brim or rolled their shoulders made me laugh very hard. My neighbor to my left nodded approvingly, the kids to my right briefly emancipated themselves. Finally the tectonic shifting ended and there, on a platform so receded that I thought they should be called the Backstage Boys, were five guys who had been crushing it for 26 fucking years.

My neighbor said, “They can’t really dance anymore but they can still sing!”

“Everyone” is not the song I thought it was.

The first concert our kids ever attended was Los Lobos in Prospect Park. Our younger daughter was 10 months old and happy anywhere that had popsicles. Our older daughter was nearly 3 and for months she would ask to hear more Los Lobos. I don’t think she recognized anything from the concert, she just wanted to be reminded of the special experience of live, loud music and how happy it made the people around her (including her dad), and our living room stereo system was the best portal for that. Los Lobos’ most popular non-fucking-La Bamba-song is Cancion del Mariachi, coming in at 15,898,494 plays. Nothing else cracks a million.

This was their first time seeing a bigtime pop act, and though they only knew about 5 of the 30 songs performed, they were rapt for the entire show. Except when the band talked to the audience, which they did in a sort of schematic where every member got his five-minute lovefest with the audience while the other guys changed outfits. They were all some variation on how much love they felt in the room (it was pretty palpable), how much gratitude they felt to the fans for the longevity of their career, and how pleased they were to be Number 1 yet again. Oh and that music was important too. I don’t mean to demean their commitment to music. All five of them can sing quite well, they harmonize together beautifully (even though I’m pretty sure vocal enhancements were employed without remorse) and you can’t sing the same song over and over again for more than 20 years without losing it unless the song is half-decent. But without getting too grumpy about it, I neither could nor wanted to suppress a flare of anger that so many serious musicians are poor while these cutie pies are all multi-millionaires. I don’t know what the ultimate size of the music market is, and it was hardly revelatory to note that these guys’ share was not in line with the quality of their musical production, but I felt like I had to take my own tiny stand, to stand up for musicians less slickly managed, artists less adept at navigating A&R social hierarchies, bands whose universality is not predicated on cultural touchstones manufactured by MTV. Obviously, nobody buys a concert ticket in the hope that they’ll get scolded at the show. Another thing people try to avoid at concerts is taking a dump. And so more acutely than ever, my self-righteousness was supplanted by regret for that extra extra.

I thought about asking my neighbors to watch the kids, and even to make the joke “And don’t let them vape!” but opted not to because I didn’t want to suggest that I had a problem with their vaping (such is my social density that I tuned out all of their apologia and was so grateful for their friendliness that I just wanted them to like me, never realizing that maybe, just maybe they might really want me to like them too). So I just told the kids to stay put and made my way to the can. And I daresay BSB fans are as nice in private as they are out in the arena. I base this conjecture on my bathroom experience where, unlike most concerts I attend, I was able to tend to my digestive needs without feeling like I had to contort myself to avoid somebody else’s excrement. It shouldn’t be surprising that more banal music begets more polite behavior, hell even Plato cautioned against exposing certain segments of society to more inflammatory musical scales. But maybe all that bougie antisepticism is just proof of how truly un-punk Mr. Stand-Taker really is.

Returned to the seats where the kids looked sleepy. I told them they shouldn’t feel any pressure to stay for the whole show, which looked like it was going to end after 11. They looked at me like I’d just told them I was donating their college fund to Trump 2020.

One of them said, “Just because we’re not dancing and screaming doesn’t mean we aren’t having an amazing time, Dad.”

OK then.

So that song I got confused about is actually called “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back).” I pretended like I knew that the whole time and was pretty sure I got away with it. Then one of the girls said, “I thought you said they opened with this song.” And with no remorse whatsoever I said, “Yeah, that was in Florida.” Why I needed them to think I knew what I was talking about is almost a less interesting question than why I also lied about what states preceded New York on the DNA Worldwide Tour.

There were more costume changes, more banter with adoring fans, more grinding reconfiguration of the stage, more neon mike stands shifting color in unison, something that probably seemed high tech in 1999, and more hits, at least four up-tempo numbers before they went into their big treacly ballad about which way they want it, which nobody can convince me isn’t about the supposed horrors of anal sex. Our neighbors checked and sure enough, both kids knew every word. A singalong ensued. Then I encouraged departure but the kids insisted on staying in case there was more. There was more.

In fact, all five guys came out for what I guess was an encore wearing Nets jerseys. Knowing what a rabid Nets fan I am, both kids felt vindicated for insisting we stick around. And then they actually knew the second, and final song of the evening and were so exhilarated by the whole thing that they wanted to walk all the way home. But it was 11:15 and I’d been up since 4:30 and I was not above projecting my fatigue onto them so we took the subway one stop. We had gotten out quickly enough that the train was not packed with other BSBers or whatever their fans are called. And again, if we strip away the petty concern of my daughters’ happiness, was I glad we went to a Backstreet Boys Concert? Well, one kid said “That would have been awesome even if the band didn’t sing any songs. The lights were just so great!” So cool. I just spent the better part of a week’s pay on the magic of strobes that kept me up way past my bedtime. And two very happy daughters. And very pleasant interactions with attractive strangers. And a few moments of infectious beats and melodies. And the nicest shit I’ve ever taken at a concert. Would I do it again, even with smarter lunch ordering? Without hesitation.

By the way, this was written while listening to Face Stabber, the newest Thee Oh Sees album. It’s fucking awesome. They’re playing a club in a few weeks than can hold about 800 people.

#BSBNYC DNAWorldTour BackstreetBoys BackstreetArmy Brooklyn BrooklynParenting Parenting NavalGazing PopMusic

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smkkbert · 7 years ago

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Time for a story - Worlds colliding

“I still don’t think taking the kids with us was a good idea.” Oliver shot a short look into the rearview mirror, probably to check on the sleeping kids instead of the traffic behind them. “We don’t know what to expect here. I mean apart from S.T.A.R. Labs not exactly being adjusted for kids-“

“-which our lair wasn’t either when we brought the kids there the first time-“

“-I just don’t think letting an alien anywhere near them is a good idea,” Oliver continued without replying to her objection. His hands tightened around the steering wheel of the SUV they had rented for as long as they were in Central City. “What if she hurts them?”

Felicity took his right hand from the steering wheel and kissed his knuckles. She continued holding his hand in hers, stroking her thumb over the knuckles, as she replied, “I don’t think she is dangerous, you know? She’s friends with Barry after all. Besides, she got us that really cute cape for Addie to give her more strength, remember? That sounds like she a really nice person even if she is not exactly human.”

Oliver’s jaw clenched. “But do we have to take the kids near her? We don’t know her yet, at least not personally. I don’t like getting the kids there before I was able to see for myself how she is.”

“You know that it’s too late for us to change our minds now, right?” Felicity asked, shooting a short look back over her shoulder. She watched Oliver’s jaw tensing even more as she pressed the back of his hand to her heart and used her free hand to stroke it through his short hair. “Everything is going to be okay, hon.”

Oliver leaned his head back into Felicity’s touch, keeping his eyes straight forward. She knew it wasn’t easy for him. He had always had trouble allowing any dangers into their children’s life. It was the same with the little dangers like falling and getting hurt that every parent had to see their kids suffering through eventually as it was with the bigtime dangers that came with two parents in the vigilante-business. Time and time again, Oliver had seriously considered giving up on being the Arrow to protect the kids. He knew Felicity wouldn’t give up her part on the team, though, so he wouldn’t give up his either. He had learned to live with the dangers that nighttime job brought and did his best to keep it away from their family life. An alien was a completely new and quite different thing, though. It was a possible danger Oliver wasn’t sure he could control or handle at all.

Felicity shot a short look at the kids. They all slept peacefully, but Felicity wasn’t surprised about that. It had already been past their bedtime when Barry had called them and asked them to come over because of some emergency he hadn’t been able to say much about on the phone. He had asked for the whole team to come to Central City to help them, so they had called Laurel, Thea and Roy, too. John and Lyla had taken their kids on vacation and weren’t available, and Curtis was out with his husband for their wedding anniversary. Anyway, Felicity and Oliver had decided that leaving all four kids with Donna and Quentin hadn’t been a good idea, so they had taken them with them. The kids’ excitement for the surprising trip had kept them, or at least Emmy and Tommy, from sleeping until they had sat them in the rented SUV.

When Oliver pulled into a parking space in front of S.T.A.R. Labs, Felicity released a sigh. She doubted that Emmy and Tommy would be asleep much longer. Addie and Millie were less of a problem with that as they could basically sleep everywhere. As soon as Felicity and Oliver would take Emmy and Tommy out of their seats, they would wake up, though. They were just too old to be sleeping even when things were happening around them.

Oliver kept his hands on the steering wheel, still looking right ahead of himself with tense jaw. Felicity squeezed his hand and, with a sigh, Oliver turned his head to look at her. His eyes showed tiredness and worry.

“Everything is going to be okay,” Felicity repeated. “She’s friends with Barry. That has to mean she is good person.”

Oliver sighed. “I hope so.”

“I am sure of it,” Felicity replied.

She leaned forward and captured Oliver’s lips in a gentle kiss, giving him the reassurance she knew he needed. Oliver’s hand held hers even more tightly. When their lips parted and their eyes met, he nodded, though.

“Let’s go,” he said, his voice a little harder like it always was when he was in Arrow-mode.

Just when they got out of the car, Roy pulled into the parking lot next to them. At the same time, the doors of S.T.A.R. Labs opened and Caitlin stepped outside with a wide smile on her lips.

“You are here!” she said happily, quickly coming over to pull Felicity into a tight hug. “Please tell me you brought my little goddaughter with you. I haven’t seen her in like forever.”

Felicity chuckled, nodding to the backseats of the SUV. “We brought all the kids.”

While Caitlin was welcoming the rest of the team, Felicity gently woke up Emmy and Tommy. The kids weren’t especially delighted to be woken up after just a few hours of sleep. As soon as they realized where they were, most of the tiredness was forgotten, at least for the moment. They had been so excited when they had told them they were going to Central City. They loved being here and being spoiled by the part of their expanded family they didn’t get to see that often. Felicity knew she had to find a good place to sleep for them in the Labs or otherwise their excitement would sooner or later turn into a disaster. Even if the Labs weren’t built for kids, there had to be some place for them to catch some rest once the first excitement was over.

“I will go ahead to check out how safe it is for the kids to be there,” Oliver told Felicity with a quick peck to her lips. “Leave all the bags here. I will go get them if we need them.”

That being said, Oliver turned around and headed into the building. Felicity sighed, shaking her head slightly. Some things would probably never change.

“Okay, who wants to join in on a little race?” Roy asked Emmy and Tommy, rubbing his hands together in excitement. “Who finds Uncle Barry first is going to win?”

When the kids agreed, Laurel performed the referee. On go all three of them started running, or, well, Tommy and Emmy did, but at least Roy did his best to pretend to be running. He’d never let the kids lose. Laurel and Caitlin followed the three racers, both of them holding their sleeping goddaughters in their arms. Felicity and Thea followed with a little distance.

“Do you think it was a good idea accompanying us here?” Felicity asked, linking her arm with Thea’s.

“Well, it’s aliens,” Thea replied matter-of-factly though Felicity didn’t miss her excitement. When she cocked her head, Thea sighed. “It’s not like I will go into the field.”

“Which means we will have to find an excuse why you decided to come with us but don’t want to go into the field,” Felicity replied with a nod. Finding excuses for why Thea hadn’t been available for Arrow work lately had getting harder with time. The others were probably growing suspicious already. Felicity hesitated a moment before she asked, “Did you decide when you want to tell the others? You are almost fifteen weeks along. Sooner than you’ll know, you will wake up and realize your baby doesn’t want to hide any longer.”

Thea smiled, resting her head on Felicity’s shoulder. “I know. It’s just fun keeping it just between Roy and me, you know? It’s like a wonderful, little secret.”

“It doesn’t get less wonderful when you tell people,” Felicity assured and squeezed Thea’s hand. “Everyone will be really happy for you and spoil you as much as possible. Ask for anything, and someone will get it for you. It’s one of the few advantages of being pregnant and it’s really something to enjoy before your little nugget here will keep you on your toes. Then you will be the one making sure someone gets everything they need.”

Thea nodded, lowering her gaze. Frowning, Felicity stood still in the middle of the hallway and turned her sister around to her. She looked at her with a questioning gaze, wordlessly asking if she was okay.

“It’s just…” Thea released a trembling breath. “I wish my mom was here, you know?”

Felicity smiled sympathetically, pulling Thea into a hug and stroking her hand over her short hair. She knew exactly what Thea meant. Though Felicity hadn’t had the best relationship with her mother when she had been younger, she had felt the need to talk to her a lot when she had been pregnant with Emmy. She would have woken up in the middle of the night and called her, asking her things about pregnancy and babies. It was probably an instinct of women to turn to their mothers when they were about to become mothers.

“Your mom would be very proud of you,” Felicity whispered, “and I hope you know you can always come to me if there is something you want to talk about.”

“I know,” Thea said, pulling out of the hug with a sniffle. She wiped her fingers under her eyes and gave Felicity a smile. “I know.”

“And in case you ever need a motherly or a fatherly advice or grandparents for you baby, go to Donna and Quentin,” Felicity suggested. “I know it’s not the same, but they will do their best to give you whatever you and your baby need. Ask Oliver. I am sure he’d agree.”

Thea nodded slowly. “Thank you, Felicity.”

“Always,” Felicity replied. She linked her arm with Thea’s once more as they continued their way to Barry’s base of operation. “How high are the stakes that Oliver is currently looking at Barry’s friend with a death glare?”

“Too high to bet against you,” Thea replied with a chuckle.

Of course, they were right. As soon as they stepped into their hideout, Felicity caught sight of her husband. Oliver was standing almost in the middle of the room, his arms crossed in front of his chest and his eyes focused on Barry’s friend who, to Felicity’s utter surprise, was hovering several feet over the floor and lasering a picture into the concrete wall across from her with her eyes. His face was hard and deliberative.

Emmy and Tommy were standing under her feet, watching with excited eyes as she lasered an arrow. When the picture was done, she lowered to the floor, coming to stand in front of the kids with her hands put to her hips and a wide smile on her lips.

“That’s so cool!” Emmy screeched, flinging her arms around the woman’s legs. “Can you teach that to me?”

While the blonde woman was laughing at that, Felicity saw Oliver’s shoulders tensing. She squeezed Thea’s hand, releasing her to greet their other friends from Central City, who were standing together with Laurel and Roy. With a gentle smile on her lips, Felicity approached Oliver. She put her arms around his bicep and rested her chin on his shoulder.

“So?” she asked. “What do you think about her?”

“Not sure yet,” Oliver replied. “If those lasering eyes get out of control-“

“Did Barry’s speeding ever got out of control so much that they hurt the children?” Felicity asked. “Did Laurel’s Canary Cry ever get out of control? Did Thea, Roy or you ever accidentally shoot an arrow at the kids?”

“It’s not the same,” Oliver replied. “She’s an alien after all.”

When the blonde alien, whose name Felicity just couldn’t remember, turned towards them and approached them, Felicity stroked Oliver’s bicep and whispered, “Be nice, okay?”

“I’m always nice.”

Felicity snorted. “Sure. You of all people.”

“Hey, what’s that-“

Before Oliver got to complain, the blonde alien had reached them. With a wide smile on her lips, she reached out her hand. “Hi, you have to be Oliver and Felicity or Arrow and Overwatch. It’s so nice to meet you. You have the sweetest kids.”

“Thanks,” Felicity replied, shaking her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you, too. Barry has told us a lot about you,...”

“Kara,” she helped out.

“Kara,” Felicity repeated. “That it was.”

Kara turned to Oliver, smiling at him, while he continued looking at her with hard eyes.

“He is happy to meet you too,” Felicity explained, pinching Oliver in the side. “He has just trouble showing it.”

Oliver cleared his throat and eventually loosened his arms out of the tight hold in front of his chest. He shook Kara’s hand. Yet, his jaw was still tense.

“I love your children. They are great,” Kara said, not the slightest intimidated by Oliver’s death glare. “Hey, I could get them Supergirl-shirts. Kids on my earth love those, and I am sure Emmy and Tommy-“

“They are much more fans of the Starling City vigilantes, but thanks,” Oliver interrupted her.

Emmy must have heard it since she came running towards them. “Daddy, please! A Supergirl-shirt would be so cool. And I want to go as Supergirl for Halloween.”

“But you wanted to go as Arrow,” Oliver replied. “Remember? We already picked out a design for the suit, so-“

“But now I want to be Supergirl,” Emmy replied. “She’s cooler, daddy. She can fly and her eyes are lasers.”

Oliver rolled his eyes, ignoring Emmy and turning to their friends. “So, there is metahuman to take care of?”

While Emmy just shrugged her shoulders and went back to Tommy, who was still taking in the giant arrow on the wall, Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. Kara turned towards her. “He hates me, right?”

Felicity shot her a sympathetic look, explaining, “He’s a little sensitive when it comes to the kids, but don’t you worry. He will learn to like you. He didn’t exactly like Barry at first, either. When he warms up to people, he’s really great.”

Kara and Felicity joined the rest of their friends as they discussed the metahuman that had escaped from Kara’ earth and was currently terrorizing the citizens of Central City. Apparently, the villain was quite the thing Felicity realized while Caitlin summed up the most important facts about her. The woman, who Cisco had chosen to call Bloody Mary, was like a femme fatal, unbelievably beautiful and highly dangerous. In the last couple of days, she had attacked five men by biting their necks and sucking some of their blood. All five men had run amok after that. When caught by the police, they had been confused and apparently hadn’t remembered anything. Barry had already tried to go against her, but her telekinetic skills had made it difficult. She wasn’t easy to catch, so Oliver needed the help of their friends.

“Is she a vampire?” Emmy asked, stepping next to Kara.

“No,” Oliver replied.

Felicity bit down on her tongue at the sight of Oliver’s facial expression. The thought that their world of metahumans and now aliens was also occupied by vampires was probably a little more than he could take. Oliver had seen a lot in this world, but that would never mean he’d get used to it. Felicity bit her tongue, imagining how John would react to any of this.

“Hey, Sweetie, can you go back to Tommy and play with him please?” Felicity asked Emmy, stroking a hand over her curly hair.”

“Okay,” Emmy replied, turned around and ran back to her little brother.

“So, what’s the plan?” Laurel asked once Emmy was out of reach.

Barry looked at Oliver, almost like he wanted him to answer. Oliver lifted his hands in a defensive manner, though. “You brought us in. You should be the leader.”

Well, some things had changed, Felicity thought to herself. Without any doubt, a few years ago Oliver would have taken over whether or not Barry would ask him to do so. Being in control would have been his priority.

“Well, I guess we should… uhm…”

“Find out more about Bloody Mary,” Oliver whispered.

“Find out more about Bloody Mary,” Barry repeated out loud, nodding his head in agreement.

“And do a test run against Supergirl,” Oliver added in another whisper.

“And do a test run against Supergirl,” Barry repeated loudly once more.

“Are we really supposed to pretend we don’t hear you?” Roy asked Oliver, perking up an eyebrow.

Barry quickly cleared his throat and explained, “Okay, then I guess the geeks and the kids spread themselves out in the work area, and everyone else goes down to the basement where we have our new training area for when we have visitors that actually need training.”

Barry looked at Oliver again, who gave him a short nod. “Just one thing.”

“What?” Barry asked.

“Don’t call my wife a geek.”

Kara leaned over to Felicity. “Are you sure Oliver likes Barry?”

Felicity smiled. She was about to head to the computer area to get her fingers on the computer and try find out more about Bloody Mary when Thea cleared her throat. Felicity turned around, seeing the slight hesitant expression on her face. Thea shot a look at Roy, who held her hand in both of hers and gave her a nod.

“Well, I guess I am going to be the one being responsible for the kids then since I am not a geek at all,” Thea explained and took in a deep breath, “and I can’t go into the field or even join in on the test run because I am pregnant.”

Felicity watched Oliver’s reaction closely. He was definitely surprised though Felicity had thought that maybe he had suspected it. Thea had made excuses for not being available for Arrow business for weeks now. Probably the thought of his baby sister being grown up enough to have a baby on her own just scared him a little.

When everyone had congratulated Thea and Roy, Oliver was still standing there, staring at his sister. Thea bit down on her bottom lip and stepped closer to Oliver. Eventually, he sighed and spread his arms for his sister, pulling her into a tight hug.

“I am so happy for you,” he whispered to her. “This kid is going to be blessed because it has one of the two greatest mothers it can have.”

“That’s putting quite the pressure on me, comparing me to Felicity,” Thea replied. “She has five kids and got it handled perfectly.”

“You will be great,” Oliver assured her once more and kissed her cheek. “And we are always here for you if there is anything you need. Advise, help, a shoulder to cry on, anything.”

“Thank you,” Thea whispered.

She tightened her arms around her brother for a brief moment before she let go of him. With a last smile, she went away. On her way to Laurel, who was waiting with Millie in her arms, Thea squeezed Felicity’s hand. Then she took her niece from their friend and carried the sleeping toddler over to where Caitlin, Cisco and the rest of the kids were already waiting.

Felicity looked after her for a moment, happy for her sister’s happiness because she deserved it after everything she had been through, before she turned to Oliver. He had turned towards her already and watched her now with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Felicity perked up her eyebrows.

“How long did you know?” Oliver asked.

“Hm?” Felicity asked back innocently. When Oliver only cocked his head, Felicity smiled. She crossed the distance to him and put her hands to his forearms. “Not that long. Only since Connor has been born.”

“That’s been almost eleven weeks now.”

“When you say it like that it sounds so long,” Felicity replied.

She puckered her lips and pushed her chin towards her chest a little, giving him a sweet look. She knew Oliver couldn’t resist her when he looked at her like that. Indeed, Oliver rolled his eyes, released a long sigh and leaned forward to capture her lips in a chaste kiss. Without saying anything more, he followed their friends to the training area.

Felicity headed to the rest of the geek squad as Barry had called them and rubbed her hands excitedly. It had been quite some time until there had been anything happening in Starling that would have challenged her abilities. She knew she should feel happy about that since she and her kids as well as the rest of her family were living in that city. Yet, the geek in her had missed a good challenge.

“Let’s get this started.”

----->

Two days later, Bloody Mary was safe behind the walls of the prison in the basement of S.T.A.R. Labs, and thanks to some biotech gadget Felicity and Caitlin had developed and Cisco had put into action, she was robbed of her abilities, at least for the time being. It had been a long way to capture her, and it had been more exhausting than Oliver would have thought. Yet, with united forced, they had made it and that was why they were celebrating now.

Oliver watched with a glass of champagne in his hand how Kara played with Emmy, Tommy and Millie. She seemed to really enjoy spending time with the kids and the kids seemed to enjoy spending time with her. He had been suspicious about her at first. He didn’t have much experience with aliens, so it wasn’t exactly easy to estimate whether they were something to keep the kids safe from or something that could enrich his kids’ life. Given how easily Kara had found a way into the children’s heart there seemed to be no danger coming from her.

Oliver was still a little pissed, just a tiny bit of course, that Emmy was suddenly preferring any other hero over the Arrow. He had always been her favorite hero. Now she was all over Supergirl. He knew with a few days of spoiling her and reminding her of the cool trick arrows he had, she’d get back in her good graces. Yet, beating a flying alien with lasering eyes was a lot to compete against. It wouldn’t be easy.

Anyway, he also hadn’t been particularly looking forward to working with an alien. When he was out in the field, he needed people he could completely rely on. The people on his team were definitely all people he could rely on. It had taken some time until he had trusted them so much, but he did trust them now. They were his family, and he knew he could put his lives in their hands blindly. Trusting an alien had seemed a little much to ask for, but Kara had proved him wrong. She had proved to work well with others and she might have even saved him from getting hit by a bus that Bloody Mary had moved in his direction. They had needed her out there, and she had delivered.

Oliver doubted he’d ever be fond of aliens, but he would give them the benefit of the doubt. Kara was officially on his list of friends to call when Starling was under attack, and she was definitely on higher position than a certain bat from Gotham City who regularly offered his help just to annoy Oliver.

When he felt two arms wrap around him from behind, a familiar, small body snuggling up to his back, he smiled. With a content smile, he leaned back a little and stroked his hand over the forearms on his stomach.

“You’re brooding,” Felicity whispered. She pressed a kiss to his back between his shoulder blades through his shirt. “You should be celebrating.”

“I am not brooding,” Oliver replied.

With a last look to Kara and the kids, he turned around to Felicity and wrapped his arms around her. In the meantime, Felicity took the glass of champagne from him, closed her eyes and inhaled the fruity scent of the liquid.

“Soon,” she whispered to the champagne with a reverent tone in her voice, “very, very soon, you and I will be best friends again. I promise. There’s nothing and nobody that will ever part us again.”

Oliver grinned in amusement, stroking the tips of his fingers up and down her back. “Felicity, you do know that you sound like an addict when you talk like this, right?”

“I am not an addict. I am just desperately longing for a glass of champagne or wine… or a bottle of both,” Felicity said with a sigh. She inhaled the scent once more before she handed him back the glass. “I haven’t been drinking in almost two years.”

Oliver smiled sympathetically. He knew how much Felicity enjoyed a good glass of wine for dinner. He also knew she was a hundred percent against even taking a nip of any alcoholic drink as long as she was pregnant or breastfeeding.

Oliver puckered his lips for a moment before he lifted his glass to his lips and took a sip of the champagne, making sure the liquid touched his lips. As soon as he had swallowed, her caught Felicity’s lips in a gently kiss. Her tongue slipped out of slide over his bottom lip and Oliver smiled at the little hum she left. When they broke the kiss, Felicity licked her lips and rolled them into her mouth to chase the fruity taste of the champagne.

“Very good,” she said with a smile.

Oliver leaned back in to kiss Felicity once more. Before his lips could touch hers, they were disturbed, though.

“Oliver?”

Releasing a little growl, he only pecked Felicity’s lips shortly before he turned towards Barry and Kara, who were coming closer to them.

“I gotta go feed our daughter,” Felicity whispered.

She kissed his cheek and left his side. When she turned around to leave, she winked at their friends. Something about the expression on her face made him narrow his eyes. It was almost like the three of them were sharing a secret. The thought made Oliver cross his arms in front of his chest as Barry and Kara stepped closer.

“What?” he asked.

“Well, we felt like now that the city is saved,” Barry started and looked at Kara.

“Maybe it was time for a group hug,” Kara finished his sentence. “You know, leader of Team Arrow and Team Flash and Team Supergirl in one big hero hug.”

“Yeah, I am not much of a hugger,” Oliver replied.

Kara perked up her eyebrows. “Your kids would disagree. Emmy told me that you are a superhugger and I would have to get a hug from you.”

“I make exceptions for them.”

When Kara cocked her head and pushed her bottom lip forward in a pout, Oliver rolled his eyes. He spread his arms with a chuckle, barely believing he was doing this, and only a moment later he was caught in a group hug by the two of them. He sighed quietly, shaking his head. He doubted Central City would ever be not too sunny for him.

@just-arrowolicity @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @mariel-olandag @orangeisorange @aguscha333 @whentheheavenfades @aussieforgood @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @lightwoodhook @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @muslimsmoak @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @arrowsalways @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @boo-ritz-radley @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @mysaudadespt2 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @queens-of-arrows @memcjo @azmeans23 @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19 @alex-wesley @arrows-4ever @unabashedlynerdypatrol @louehmysoul @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @hiddenchamb3r @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @lexi9515 @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarr @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @paarti12 @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @cutearrowgirl @mrt2501 @insecureneuroticcontrolfreakk @mecha1330 @arsipaci14 @mzminx @chellemanalastas @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @clarkesoverwatch @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafra @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @navyaarsha @fandoms-breathe-life @simone4mcswarek @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @eternal-olicity @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @itsmagnoliagirl @j69confessional @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @felollie @javinancupil @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @tatianadamaceno @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @kath4703 @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl @ccdimples88 @turnupthemusicandscream @pumpernickle93 @cinfos @onceuponanolicity @1106angel @jaspertown @fadinglands @morganashimi83 @mochababychristy @omglovechrissie @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor @onceuponanolicity @speakandseethetruth @bri206 @aglasgo @thats0klaroline @geemarie @pineprincess @nerdgirljen

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vandergelic-blog · 7 years ago

Note

Could you do the RFA + the minor trio reacting an MC who puts them self down alot through jokes and is in general used to being ignored thank you!

I relate to this all too well. I didn’t expect this to get so long, I hope you enjoy..

Zen:

Every time you would make a joke about yourself, he wouldget upset and tell you to not say those kind of things. Sometimes though, hewould sort of laugh along with you and call you cute.

You would always convince him that every time you did that,you were joking. He would just frown and nod his head before pecking yourcheek.

When you guys were out in public together, you…or he wasoften swarmed by fans, meaning you were forced away from him.

He apologizes for it and says that he’ll make sure he doesn’tlose you next time, and you just smile.

Whenever you guys were out with people they would always paymore attention to him that you.

You kept telling yourself that it was okay, you were used tobeing treated this way…

But it just began to build up inside you, then one night youfound yourself crying in your guy’s shared bedroom.

Zen walks in and immediately stops what he’s doing and goesover to console you.

You told him how insignificant you felt and how much youdidn’t like yourself. That you envied him and how people noticed him so much,and that you were just a nobody. It made his heart sink.

“Jagiya, hearing you say that makes my heart break. Someonelike you doesn’t deserve to feel that way. You’re so beautiful and admirable tothose around you, I wish you could see that yourself.”

“Let me help you. You already had my full attention, but nowI’m going to hold onto you tighter than before. You’re my girl, you deserve tofeel nothing but love and appreciation.”

Yoosung:

Similar to Zen, when you made jokes about yourself likethat, he would get upset.

But like, he would get really sad too and begin to doubthimself.

Do I make her feel that way? Is it me?

Sometimes you try to talk to him while he’s playing LOLOL,and he just mutters things in response, not really paying much attention.

But you’re used to this kind of treatment, it’s how it’sbeen almost your whole life.

He notices your feeling down one day, and asks you what’swrong.

You explain to him how you wish you were different and thatyou weren’t happy with yourself. Also, how you felt as if people were alwayspushing you to the side…

“H-Hey! That’s not true! Please don’t say that…” He poutedand pulled you into an embrace.

“I love you just the way you are, I wouldn’t change you evenif the world depended on it! I know I can get caught up in LOL sometimes, but Iwould give all of that up if it meant that you could be happy.”

Jaehee:

She would have a puzzled look on her face and let out anawkward laugh whenever you said that you hated yourself or something.

“Well, I don’t hate you if that means anything…”

Baehee would always have something sweet in return to say toyou.

She was always so attentive of you, so you wouldn’t reallyfeel ignored by her except when she was so invested in her work, she justforgot about everything else.

It made you sigh, and when you tried to pull her away shewould just wave you off and tell you to go eat or get some rest.

One morning, she caught you looking in the mirror at yourselfand you just looked so dead…and unhappy.

“You know…you could do so much better than me Jaehee-“

She cupped your face and made you look at her before youcould even finish.

“You’re already the best I ever had. Do you have any ideahow much I admire you? Please stop saying such mean things about yourself whenyou’re so amazing. You’re gorgeous inside and out. You’ll get through this stepby step, and I’ll be there with you, holding your hand.”

Jumin:

He wouldn’t get it.

Why would you say such rude things towards yourself?

He would always frown when you said something hateful aboutyou, but you always added on a small “just kidding” at the end.

Now Jumin may not have the best humor, but he knows a jokewhen he hears one and you aren’t kidding.

Since he is a bigtime CEO, he obviously has to travel a lot.

You recognized this and told yourself that it’s fine, you’reused to being alone. Besides, you have Elizabeth, right? It’s not like Juminwill be gone all the time…

Well, he isn’t gone all the time, but he’s gone MOST of thetime.

It just gets to the point where you cry because you feel soisolated.

You find someone like him and you still aren’t happy.

Sometimes you feel like a burden because while he’s away ona trip or at work, he only ever calls to check up on you.

One night he comes home and sees you sobbing quietly toyourself, Elizabeth purring in your lap to comfort you.

He drops his briefcase and settles down beside you.

“Do you really love me? Or do you just feel pity for me…”

“You’re gone all the time. I’m used to being mistreated likethis, but it’s beginning to become too much…”

It takes Jumin a minute to process and put things togetheras he stares at you. You’re still looking down at your lap, but you could feelhis gaze burning into you.

“Darling, you opened me up to a whole side to myself that Ihad been hiding from for so long. You showed me that–sorryElizabethiknowyou’rerighthere—that a cat isn’t going to cure my loneliness and make me happy with myself.You did that. You made me the happiest I’ve ever been in a long time. Now Ibelieve it’s my turn to help you find a new side of you, because, I can’tbelieve you don’t recognize this, but you are one of the most beautiful souls I’veever encountered in my life.”

Seven:

Oh boy.

You guys would crack jokes full of self-hatred with eachother 24/7.

Both of you knew deep down inside that the other one meantit, but you couldn’t really bring yourselves to say anything…

It would get seriously bad when Seven was going through that“I’m dangerous. Stay away.” And “Don’t bother me, I’m working.” “Leave mealone, I’m busy.” “Didn’t I tell you to be quiet so I can focus?” Bullshit.

Seriously, he was so blunt about it to the point where youjust felt like absolute shit.

After he told you to “Leave him the fuck alone.” For probablythe fourth time that day, you just broke down right in front of him.

You were seriously trying so hard for the both of you guys,well, for him at least.

You wanted him to stop feeling like he was this dangerousmonster you needed to avoid. You were in love with him.

Seeing you cry, made him feel like a total asshole.

“Shit…MC, I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine, Saeyoung. I get why you want to push me away. I…Iwould too.”

“No, MC, hush. I know I can be so cold sometimes, I’m sorry.I can’t help it. But I honestly feel so alive and genuinely happy when I’m withyou, I don’t have to fake it.”

“If you think you’re a bother to me, believe me you’re not.It feels nice to have someone around that gives an actual shit about me, andencourages me to better myself without using a taser. I love you MC, you makeme want to love myself. You should too. Let’s get better together.”

Minor Trio below the cut!!

Saeran:

If you thought Saeyoung was bad…

Honey you got a big storm comin’

He wouldn’t necessarily make jokes about himself, but he hasthe tendency to be really blunt and vicious towards you sometimes.

It’s all because of what he’s been through in his past, he’sused to people treating him this way so it just sort of comes out without himthinking…

Like you’ll say you’re stupid and he’ll agree, or he’ll callyou that himself.

It’s no better when he has his grumpy days.

You really need to have patience with Saeran. You understandthat he’s still getting used to being around people and learning and all thatstuff.

But geez, would it kill him to be somewhat nice to you?

Okay, okay, he’s not like a complete devil all the time. Youmeant so much to him. He would try to be nice and do something sweet for you,but he would usually second guess himself and back out of it.

He’s just not good with feelings or expressing them…he’sbeen consumed by hatred and pain for most of his life.

You’re really salty one day and Saeran notices this.

“What the fuck is up with you?”

“…You just…Saeran, sometimes…I feel like you really don’tlike me.” You begin to choke on your tears.

“Like, I’m used to people not wanting me and stuff, but doyou really not like me or something?”

At this point your crying, your face buried into the palm ofyour hands and Saeran just stares at you.

His hand clenched over his heart, it was a sadness he neverfelt before.

Maybe because he actually gave a shit about you, and seeingyou like this…wasn’t really working for him?

He couldn’t explain it though…instead he just pulled youinto the tightest hug and actually began to cry a bit himself.

He wished he was better at this shit, you deserved someoneso better. Despite how he literally kidnapped you, threatened you in the hospital,pushed you away and was so rude to you, you never gave up on him..

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me on thishell-ridden planet.” He muttered lowly as he nuzzled his face into your hairand sniffled a bit.

One day, once he finally gets his shit together, he willtell you how he really feels.

Jihyun (V):

“I hate myse-”

“You are my moon, my sun, my ocean, and all the stars thatshine in the night sky. You are the air that I breathe and the land that I walkon. The world isn’t deserving of you. I would die and succumb to the lowest,hottest parts of Hell if it meant you could be happy.”

Rikaisshook

*is away on a photography trip*

“I feel lonely-“

*throws shit in bag*

*stuffs camera into pants*

*literally sprints to the airplane, pushing pass security*

“MOVE I’M BLIND AND LOVE IS CALLING MY NAME.”

*hops on plane and kicks down the pilot’s door*

“STEP ON IT WE HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE. MC NEEDS ME.”

*makes it back to korea*

*flings open house door*

“My love, I don’t ever want you to feel anything but purebliss and joy. After everything you’ve done for me, I never want you to leavemy side. From now on, I’m taking you wherever I go. I love you.”

AND THAT’S HOW THAT WOULD GO OKAY

Vanderwood:

Whenever you would say something self-deprecating, he wouldjust stare at you awkwardly.

“Okay..” Then he would look away.

Seriously didn’t think you meant it fully. I mean, everyonehas things they don’t like about themselves, right?

And he thought it was nice how you were able to laugh atyourself.

Vanderwood…would try not to ignore you. But there would bedays where he really doesn’t want to be around anyone.

It was nice for him to be alone.

And sometimes, you were just a little bit too much for him…

It wasn’t you, it was him for the most part.

It’s just that, all his life, he wasn’t really able to havethings close to him because they would always leave or be taken away.

He didn’t understand why you liked him so much?

Like, he had done illegal and bad shit in the past, yet youcould see past all of that.

He wasn’t used to receiving affection, let alone giving it.So, he had the tendency to seem distant and cold sometimes without meaning to,or he just didn’t want to admit to himself that he was in love.

There would be days where he would just flat out ignore you,or leave the apartment without even telling you where he was going.

It happened often, I guess the reason why he continues to doit is because he knows you’ll still be there at the end of the day.

He wasn’t trying to take advantage of you, no, but he justneeds some space from time to time is what I’m really trying to say.

Anyways, this would confuse you and also bug the shit out ofyou as well.

Did he want you or not?

I mean…I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s not like youwere head over heels for him anyway…it’s just love, haha…

So, one day, while you guys sat on the couch togetherwatching TV, not cuddling, but you guys had your fingers curled around eachother, you moped a bit.

“I think I should leave.” You say suddenly.

His head snaps to look at you, his face twisted into afrown.

“Uh…what? You’re going to bed? It’s only 8..I mean if you’retired-“

“No. I mean like, leave, leave? You just don’t seem thatinterested in me… I understand, I mean…I’m not much. I just don’t want to wasteyour time or anything…”

Vanderwood turns back around and stares into the distance.

I AM CONFUSION.

“…I don’t think you should leave, um. I sort of like havingyou around, yeah. It feels nice…having you near me. Um, you’re not wasting mytime, trust me.” He’s fumbling around with his words at this point.

“It’s just that…I’m an idiot? To be frank with you, I cantolerate you more than any other person in my life. If that means anything…youmake my heart full.” *GAGS* “And if you leave…that would suck, I don’t know? I’msorry for just being cold sometimes, I’m not used to….all of this.”

“But I want to be. All my life I never had anything that Icould hold onto. Now, I have you. You make me forget about my crappy past anddon’t make me feel like a complete terrible person. You really are special tome, MC. I’m going to be better so I can truly express my feelings towards you.So just stay…please?”

AHH. Saeran’s made my heart hurt as I was writing it. ;u; That’s why V’s was a bit humorous.

Requests are open!

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger headcanon #mysme hc #mysme headcanon #mystic messenger hc

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skeletonwoman · 7 years ago

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Be Quiet (Remus Lupin)

Request: Can you do prompt 56 and 73 with James? Maybe the reader could be going on a secret date with Remus and James gets suspicious and over protective? Sorry if it's so specific! I won't mind if you do something different, it was just an idea I had 56. “You’re hiding something from me.” 73. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”

(Another @daphnegreengrass boii)

It’s not a secret date, really, but it is a hella protective James (also a lil bitter) with lots of name dropping and cute Lily Evans moments.

“You’re hiding something from me,” James says, staring at his best friend and you try not to laugh from across the room. Remus doesn’t look up from the cards in his hand.

“Maybe it’s because we’re playing poker,” he counters sedately and James hesitates before shaking his head.

“False. You’re twitchy.” He changes the order of his cards then looks back up at his pale friend. “My divination is working perfectly, and judging by the stars and the moon, you’re not ill.”

“Maybe he has his period,” Peter pipes up, raising the stakes and watching Sirius fold.

“Maybe his mouth tastes like mandrake all the f*cking time,” Sirius hisses and you wrinkle your nose at the thought.

You shouldn’t be eaves dropping, if James catches you he’ll get all whiny and make subtly mean comments until you leave, but you just can’t help it.

“No, it’s none of that,” James says seriously before shaking it off and beaming at Remus. “Ready to lose every sickle you’ve got?”

As the three display their cards, you can see a clear winner. Peters face falls, James is suddenly scowling bigtime and Remus smiles, as calm as a still lake.

Man, do you wanna splash around in the water.

“Still got all my sickles,” he observes and braces for the shove that James pushes him with.

“Come on,” you whine, your gaze glued to the bright green of Remus’s eyes. He’s looking particularly edible like this, his back to the stones and a nervous smile twitching at his lips.

“I- ah… I’m-”

“Leave off, Y/N!” Lily calls from down the corridor, her voice growing closer, “you’re never gonna get a date with Lonely Lupin.”

“But he’s cute and I’ve seen him staring at my legs.” You pout at the redhead and she throws her head back in a laugh. Remus flushes red in front of you and you try not to smirk at the utter adorableness that is a blushing Remus.

“Is that why you’re wearing that?” She nods pointedly to your skirt and you laugh, turning this way and that for her.

“The skirt is supposed to be this short, but it’s not for him. It’s for me. Makes my ass look like an apple.” Lily laughs and you shoot her a cheesy grin. You eye Remus, taking in the way he’s specifically only looking at your face and his slightly daggy clothes, and sigh. They’re not ugly or anything, they’re cute. But something in his image makes it seem like you’re out of his league. “We’d be an adorable couple though. Then he’d get full rights to touching my apple ass.”

“Alright, alright, let him be,” Lily orders, grabbing your hand and dragging you away from him. You sigh as you follow her, but your focus quickly shifts and you’re ready to go all over again.

“So, when’s our date?” You coo, interlacing your fingers with hers and she scoffs, before slinging an arm around your neck and pulling you in to plant a sloppy kiss to your cheek.

“We’ve had our date, baby, I was exhausted within ten minutes.” You frown, only to recall the shopping trip to muggle London and laugh aloud. The memories you made that night… “Exactly, you love rat. And how’s Remus supposed to take you seriously if you’re asking out everyone?”

“I’m keeping my options open! But he’s the main goal. Quiet, bookish and scarred. Everything a girl dreams of.”

“Why… You’re going to hate being with him, why are you even trying?” She eyes you, her curiosity obvious and genuine and you pull from her grip. Waltzing away a step, you pause to gather your thoughts- then plonk onto the bench behind you.

“I like to sit.” You stare at the stone eaves above, unable to look at her while you say this. You’ll chicken out if you do. Merlin, this sounds stupid. “I like the quiet and I love to just sit and read or zone out. You probably do not know this since I am such a wild card. And while I love to sit and be quiet, I also love people and making memories. And when you’re doing that, making memories and the like, people start to question you when you’re just sitting and being quiet.”

“And Remus likes to sit and be quiet.”

“Remus probably loves to sit and be quiet. And I’d love to sit and be quiet with him.” You peek at her and try not to smile when you spot her giant grin. “I also want to meet him in the astronomy tower at 3am and ride him into the sunrise.”

When she throws her head back and laughs again, loud and delighted, you beam.

“He also looks like he’s got a secret dom hiding in him and I’m curious if that’s true,” you tease, squeaking when she smacks your arm. “What! You can’t see it?”

“No!” She gasps, giggling and you scoff, rolling your eyes.

“He’s a soft boy, but you know, soft boys can get hard,” you offer and she squawks, her feet pitter patter dancing on the spot.

“I love being your friend,” she snorts, taking your hand and pulling you to your feet to envelop you in a hug. “And if you can’t sit quietly with Remus, you can sit quietly with me.”

“Aw, baby!”

“I know, I know.”

“She asked me out again.” Remus blushes and Sirius whoops, leaping at James and body slamming him.

“Yes, boy! Get her! She wants you, and I swear if you don’t date her-” He cackles, only to frown when he notices the others aren’t leaping around with him. “I won’t like take her or anything… I’ll just be really unhappy with you.”

“I think you should go out with her,” Peter says, nodding and Remus grimaces. His gaze moves to James who wrinkles his nose.

“She’s… I can’t think of a word that isn’t derogatory and I can’t use those cause I know she’s nice. I know. She’s fleeting, she doesn’t stick with people and our Remus deserves better than to be another notch on her bedpost.”

Sirius laughs, “she hasn’t even got notches on her bed, Marlene checked and told me.”

When the others stare at him, he blushes and waves them off with a muttered excuse about curiosity.

“Look, I think Remus should hold off, if not ignore her completely. She’s hot but is there really any substance there?” James says with a roll of his eyes and Lily smacks him upside the head. “Ouch- Evans! Where did you even come from? And what’d I say about touching the goods?”

“Shut up, ass,” she snaps and he nods once, zipping his lips and winking. Lily rolls her eyes. “Y/N is all substance. James just doesn’t like her because when he asked me out, for the fifth time, she pushed him off the pier. No one knows this because all that substance means she doesn’t embarrass people needlessly. When have you guys ever heard of Y/N making fun of people?”

“Never!” Sirius cheers and Lily shoots him a dead eyed look that has him flushing. “Sorry.”

“And Remus is just nervous because he has to deal with you two gits all the time-” she points between Sirius and James, while winking at Peter, “and it’s exhausting. He assumes she’ll be the same, which while the evidence does point that way, is an unfair assessment.”

“Are you going into law?” Peter asks, a smile lighting up his eyes and Lily pauses, a soft blush dusting her cheeks. “You’re very convincing.”

“We’ll see, Pete.” She smiles, before turning her glare on James and Remus, “don’t judge her unfairly and don’t be a Bitter Betty.”

Sirius attempts a slow clap and Lily smacks his hands down.

“I’m going to dinner and I hope you all think long and hard about what we just discussed.”

“Marlene, stop doubting yourself and just kick her ass already!” You groan, meeting McKinnon's nervous stare head on. “Bellatrix isn’t going to stop dissing you unless you show some substance.”

“She’s a dirty cheat though.” You watch Marlene's eyes dart toward the Slytherin table and you sigh, patting her hand.

“Those aren’t insurmountable odds. And she probably wouldn’t expect you to just pop her one in the nose.” You shrug, grinning and Dorcas giggles quietly at your side.

“Hey, Y/N!” Someone shouts and you wave in the general direction the voice had come from, not looking up, and keeping your gaze steady on Marlene's.

“Pop her one in the nose.” She repeats and you nod once, watching as her eyes move to Dorcas, who reins in her giggles to nod along with you.

You look about the great hall and spot Remus and his group a few seats down, his friends talking animatedly. The bench shifts beside you and Lily blocks your view of the foursome, her red hair much too thick to see through.

“Stop gazing, they’re not worth your time.” She sniffs and starts loading up her plate.

“What do you mean?”

“They were talking about you and it wasn’t kind. It wasn’t really cruel either but it wasn’t positive. Point is, they’re stupid and you can do better. Check out Gideon, now that’s a man.” Your gaze moves to the two red haired twins, zeroing in on the more serious of the pair and you can feel yourself soften. “I know for a fact that he would date you. I overheard him saying so to Fabian.”

“Everyone would date me, Lils, that isn’t very strong evidence to his character,” you scoff and she rolls her eyes.

“Hey- ah, Y/N?”

You blink at the soft voice and peer over your shoulder to see Remus crouched beside you.

Oh.

“Yeah?” Your voice is very soft and much too delicate and you have to stifle a scowl at the embarrassingness of it all.

“Go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? Just you and I?”

You’re about to burst out with an acceptance when you hesitate. Hogsmeade is Hogsmeade. At your silence, his cheeks start to get red and you inhale a quick breath and gather your courage.

“Maybe we could stay here? I…” You trail off, unsure how to say that you want to just sit in the library. Just the two of you.

“Here’s fine, here’s great.” He grins and your sigh is all relief. “Saturday, I’ll meet you on the lawn at nine and we can decide then?”

“Sure, sure. Yeah.”

“Great.” He smiles and you can’t help mirroring the expression, the two of you caught in a moment of stillness until Lily purposely elbows you. Hard.

“Ouch!”

“I better go,” he mumbles, rising and moving back to his group where Sirius wraps him up in a hug and kisses his cheeks.

the last (4/4) of those requests i super nicely did as a favour

yay!

i love remus, he boo

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fic #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fanfiction #marauders fic #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #harry potter fic

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yelloskello · 5 years ago

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idk how to word this. I want to say ‘i’m starting to realize I have bigtime issues with people not believing me’, but idk if it’s true that i’m only now starting to realize it. I know in the past i’ve talked at length with people about how nobody believed me when I talked about the shitty, abusive behaviors of my best friend - nobody that could really do anything, anyways, and the people who did believe me and could do something were too afraid to actually do anything. I feel like I probably knew I had issues with it back then. Maybe I just have forgotten. But regardless, in the face of some recent events, i’m realizing I have some bigtime issues with people not believing me, and it’s not just from my abusive friend.

I still explicitly remember being a kid and my family talking about how i’d cry alligator tears (using that exact term; it was the first time i’d ever heard of alligator tears) to get what I wanted, and I remember feeling incredibly frustrated back then that I was constantly just getting dismissed, or people were just laughing at my behavior. I’d be upset, and they’d laugh, and then i’d be angry because I just fucking wanted people to respect how I was feeling or take me seriously.

I remember my family singing a lot of songs to make fun of me when I expressed unhappiness or distress. I’ve talked before about how i’d talk about how other kids hate me and they’d just laugh and fucking sing that song ‘nobody likes me everybody hates me’ to make fun of how I felt, because I guess they didn’t believe that I could actually feel that way? Well joke’s on you, motherfuckers, ‘cause guess who did feel that way? And continued to feel that way? And had big breakdowns in my teens over feeling that way? And who resigned themselves to coasting through community college without making friends because they felt that way? And was borderline suicidal over feeling that way in college? And who has accepted it as a truth of their life now? So, like, excellent work actively dismissing the signs, folks, only resulted in a lifetime of low self-esteem.

And it wasn’t just that: there’s other shit that I have a lot of baggage concerning now, and part of it is because when I expressed distress over it in the first place, it was laughed off as a kid being moody. (Driving around looking at christmas lights, for instance: I felt trapped, bored, and anxious because I had NO idea and NO control over when it would be over. I had nothing to entertain myself while they forced me to go along on this thing. And when I expressed that I was miserable, it got laughed off. Guess who avoids going to any events where I don’t know when it’ll be over, and if I do go, I HAVE to have a way to leave of my own volition, now? Guess who still avoids looking at christmas lights like the plague?)

(Funnily enough, my family STILL just dismisses it when I tell them these things. I mention to them that I completely failed to make friends in college aside from two people, and that most of my classmates just pretended like I didn’t even exist, even if I was sitting two feet away and talking directly to them; I mention that on graduation day I was supposed to meet with one of the very few people who I did think I was friends with, and I sat there alone for an HOUR waiting for them to show up, watching as the crowds cleared... And they’d just forgotten about me and gone home, and that realizing that’s what happened was utterly devastating to me: afterwards I remember sitting on my bed, sobbing and paralyzed because I was so hurt I couldn’t make myself move. I tell my family this, and i’m met with, ‘oh everybody loves you abby!!’ because evidently they think i’m still the same obnoxious kid mindlessly running around with other obnoxious kids that I was when I was, like, 5, when nobody actually gave a shit about liking each other and just wanted to go crawl through the dirt with other kids their age. Most people don’t care about me. I’ve got fucking factual evidence of it. I’m intensely socially awkward and people don’t want to be my friend because I bring nothing they appreciate to the table. I’m different when i’m around people who are already my friend, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have a severely hard time making friends because to most acquaintances, i’m not repugnant, but my company isn’t enjoyed, either. That’s just how it is. And it just gets dismissed.)

What kind of people fucking tell a child to their face that they’re a big fat liar who fakes emotions to get what they want? What kind of person laughs off their child’s distress because they don’t think it could possibly be real? Do you know what kinda baggage that can leave a person with? I do, because i’m sure as fuck living with it right now. The very fact that I remember these things so well goes to fucking show that, yeah, it actually affected me seriously. These weren’t just little nothings to me that I shrugged off and forgot about. Nobody listened to me. Nobody believed me.

(I also explicitly remember my family making fun of me for wording things wrong, lyrics to a song or something, and how shitty and self-conscious it made me feel back then, but nobody believed I was genuinely hurt, either. Seriously, what the fuck, these people just didn’t think I had real emotions or something.)

I remember the huge, utter, shrieking breakdown, clinging to a doorframe to try and keep from having to go, it took to finally convince my family that, no, i’m not just being a big baby, i’m not just not wanting to do something, but going to my piano teacher’s mini recitals was actually hell incarnate for me: you know those nightmares where, say, you’re at school, and you’re told you have to give a speech, and this is the first time you’ve heard of this, so you’re shoved out there on stage with hundreds of people watching you and no idea what to say? Yeah, it was that, but in real life, on a regular schedule. It was like being forced to go to an event dedicated to publicly embarrassing me, fully aware i’d be publicly embarrassed. That can’t possible have any unfortunate side-effects on a small child, right? Yeah :) But, hey, after a massive breakdown, good news, my family didn’t make me go! I can still remember the relief I felt in knowing I didn’t have to do it.

I remember being 11 and telling people I had low self-esteem and getting met with eye rolls. I remember telling people that I was aware others were avoiding me, and being told I was paranoid, only to find out later on that, yeah, people were actually avoiding me, and they said as much themselves. And then of course there was, y’know, my abusive best friend: ten years of telling people about the shit she was pulling and people finding it more likely that I was a jealous liar than my friend could possibly be doing any of the shitty things I said she was doing. I can remember explicitly being accused of being a jealous liar, in fact. Hell, more than ten years - after I stopped being friends with her, I would tell my new best friend about the shit she pulled, and she would actually listen, she would tell other people she didn’t want to be around my ex friend because of the stuff she pulled, it was downright euphoric to hear that... And then that ex friend invited her to the beach and she just tossed all that straight out the window. I can remember being unsure what notion hurt more: that she simply hadn’t actually believed me about them, or that she had and simply elected not to care.

Recently, while talking to my mother, for the first time in my life, she told me that when I was having massive breakdowns in 7th grade, when I was so paralyzed with anxiety that I couldn’t even turn a page in a book while people were yelling at me to, when people were getting frustrated with me because they believed I just didn’t want to do a thing and was being stubborn... She genuinely thinks now that it wasn’t because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t. And I don’t think she’ll ever know just how much telling me that meant. To have it recognized, for fucking once.

It’s gotten a little better now at the age of twenty-fucking-six. I’ve gotten better at recognizing that sometimes when people don’t believe me - like when I talk about being mentally ill and my parents insist there’s nothing wrong with me - it doesn’t fucking matter because they’re not there living my life, in fact they rarely even see me, so I know they’re talking out their ass and don’t know the half of it. But sometimes it can hurt - in fact, saying it can ‘hurt’ is putting it lightly: the other night I got so massively triggered by it that I ended up staying up til 6 am simply fueled by rage-filled thoughts about it. It hurts when people just... Straight-up dismiss what i’m saying, or shrug it off because they immediately assume it’s my crazy brain, or think i’m blowing things out of proportion. It hurts when no matter what I add, they just don’t seem to even be listening to me.

Here’s the thing: yeah, I do have crazybrain. But god help me, i’ve spent 20-some years working to get to the point i’m at now, where I can actively recognize when i’m having a crazybrain thought and when my feelings are founded in reality. I might still act on crazybrain thoughts, but i’ll disclaimer them (for instance, recently telling someone that i got a certain impression based on their vague wording, as it was reading to me as if they were trying to avoid telling me something they knew I wouldn’t want to hear, but I added that I know I can easily convince myself of the worst case scenario and that’s probably what I was doing there). If i’m presenting something to someone and not adding a disclaimer, it’s because I have very good reason to believe it. If I express that something is happening in my life or that I feel a certain way, you better fucking believe I have a good reason to feel that way or believe that thing. I’m sure I still talk out my ass sometimes, but it is not common. I say what I fucking mean.

Why the fuck people just don’t believe me about shit i’ll never understand. Do I just give off the vibe of a liar, or something? Christ.

#mental issue thoughts

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exyjunkies · 8 years ago

Photo

AND I’M BACK!!!!! i’m officially on summer vacation yay. tbh i’m a bit rusty so this is just a thing i pulled outta my ass lmao send in more prompts WOO

Among the many things that Jean Moreau did not embody, it was the hatred for being single.

He supposed he wasn’t missing out on anything, given the fact that being a new addition to the USC Trojans didn’t mean he should be big on putting himself out there. The Ravens — moments and memories, people and places — were what he wanted behind him, and this, if anything, was a chance at a fresh start. He wanted to do all of this right.

He knows he can. Jeremy thinks so.

In fact, if anything, Jean thought he should completely erase the possibility of being taken. Being a new backliner meant he had to focus on learning the ropes - the team’s dynamic, how he factored into the hierarchy, who he shouldn’t cross, who he should befriend.

Getting a boyfriend was, for all the reasons there should and would be, far from his list of priorities.

Jean supposed it was something else tugging at his heart then, when at an Exy college teams mixer, Jeremy looked just about ready to charm his way into the pants of some goalkeeper.

Well, no. That was probably an exaggeration. Jeremy was, after all, only flashing said goalkeeper one of his signature glinting smiles.

Jeremy was always charming, the guy that he was. Everybody he came across seemed to take a liking to him, whether they intended to or not. He was, mostly, someone with a personality loud enough to fill in the gaps of a room. He was never too much, and could easily tell the mood of any scene. Empathic or sensitive, Jean wasn’t sure which he was. Or if he was both.

Jean’s eye’s trailed from his mouth, to his rising-and-falling shoulders, to his broad chest. Now, Jeremy was laughing at something the goalkeeper said. And the goalkeeper, smirk slapped across his face, seemed pretty pleased with himself.

Jean’s grip around his drink tightened. Bile seemed to rise in hid throat. Either it was that, or his mojito had too much lime.

“Moreau,” Sasha, the backliner for the Blackwood Beavers, nudged him with her shoulder. Jean shook his head and looked at the curly-haired girl.

“If you wanted to make googly eyes all night at your hunky teammate, then do me a favor and make your move already.”

Making a face, Jean took a sip from his glass. “I am not interested in Jeremy,” he shot back, grabbing a pretzel from their shared snack plate.

Sasha raised an eyebrow and checked her watch. “Well, in about… say, five minutes, Philip over there is going to ask Mr. Hunky to dance, then he’s going to whisper something verrrry convincing into Mr. Hunky’s ear, then… well, you can kiss all your hopes of getting it on tonight goodbye.”

Jean swallowed and inhaled sharply. Why did that bother him? Tell me this isn’t how I lose to you, universe, he mentally begged.

The music playing from the speakers switched beats, moving to a slower, more sensual song. Sasha chuckled into her beer as Jean’s jaw clenched at Jeremy being dragged to dance.

“Who is this Philip guy anyway?” Jean asked warily, not missing the way Philip moved closer to Jeremy. Both hands on Jeremy’s hips. Chest against chest. Arms wrapped around Philip. Jean tried his best to put his focus back on Sasha.

Who was shaking her head with amusement. “Just the striker of the century, Jean! Do you not leave that rock of yours?”

“I happen to like living under it, thanks very much,” Jean snarked back, wrinkling his nose.

Sasha rolled her eyes and looked to the dance floor. Jean followed her glance and observed that the pair was… a little too close for his taste.

“Yikes,” Sasha piped up, making a grab for her beer bottle. “There goes my appetite for, oh, I don’t know, the next three months. You have fun watching this, boo.”

“Attendez, restez-vous,” Jean pleaded, pouting. “You need to sit through this with me.”

“Okay, I’m just going to pretend I understood half of your sentence. Fine,” then, just as Jean was about to turn back, “You owe me like, fifty more drinks after this freak show.”

“Yeah yeah, it’s just—” Jean twirled his straw around his drink and managed to form his thought.

He definitely did not want to make obvious that he wanted to be in Philip’s place. Or that Jeremy would like it so much more if it were him instead of Philip.

“When it comes to guys like me, there’s no such thing as ‘getting it’ without some form of embarrassment, or loss of dignity, or downright groveling. Why put in that much effort?“

It wasn’t his best line, but he needed to ask it. These days, Jean seemed to be a lot more pissy about currently existing social conventions.

With a hum, Sasha put her elbows on the table and leaned forward. “You talk about it as if attachment requires a part of you to die or something.”

Chuckling, Jean replied, “Well, if that isn’t the most accurate thing I’ve ever heard.”

Sasha smiled softly, and punched Jean lightly in the arm. “Oh Jean, it’s not all that bad. Feeling vulnerable isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

Before Jean could prepare a rebuttal, Sasha carried on. “Especially when it’s with the right person.” She sighed. “You know Carol, right?”

Carol Whittleton, the captain of the Searidge Wolves, was Sasha’s longttime girlfriend. Jean has read enough of The Exy Daily to know that. Among many (more important) things, it discussed the worthwhile happenings in the lives of bigtime Exy players.

Jean chuckled to himself as he remembered Kevin Day calling it ‘a pathetic excuse for sports journalism’, despite his occasional sifting through it for the news on his idols.

“There isn’t enough embarrassment in the world that would stop me from getting soft when it comes to her.” Sasha smiled softly, then shook her head lightly. “So Moreau. Stop being such a wuss.”

Jean rolled his eyes. The mixer’s buzz was a lot louder now, with more players drunk and more coaches loudly placing bets over darts. Beer caps were scattered all over the floor, and a jersey was hanging from a staircase railing.

Of the many things he did not enjoy as much as other people, it’s house parties. Jean didn’t know what he hated the most about them — every guest’s heightened potential to be stupid, or the mess that the hosts have to deal with after.

“I think I’m gonna head out. This party blows.” Jean mused, patting Sasha on the shoulder. He should be going back to the dorm anyway. The sleep he hasn’t caught up on would be definitely worth chasing tonight.

Sleep always came better when Jean fully decided that there was nothing left that was worth keeping him up.

“Uh oh.” Sasha replied, holding Jean by the arm. The slight panicked tone in her voice made Jean pause. “Hunk alert.”

Jeremy was headed towards them, his face holding some sort of look that Jean can’t seem to decipher. He seemed to be, more than anything, relieved that Jean was still here.

“Hey.” Jeremy grabbed hold of Sasha’s beer and took a swig. “Good thing I caught ya, Moreau.”

Does he have to be so suave? “Well. I was just about to leave. Party isn’t much of a party anymore.” Jean shot back, shrugging his coat on tighter.

“Aaaand that’s about it for me too,” Sasha piped up, swiping her beer bottle from Jeremy’s grip.

“Have a great night in Fort Knox,” she whispered to Jean, slapping his butt. His jaw clenched on the outrageous comment.

“So,” Jean cleared his throat and faced Jeremy after watching Sasha go, “you seemed to be having fun with that Philip guy. Était-il gentil?”

Cocking his head to one side, Jeremy supplied, “Eh. I’ve met better guys.”

At this, he added, “He’s got nothing on you, to be honest.” For effect, he winked at Jean. He made a grab for Jean’s mojito.

“And what is that supposed to mean, Jer?” Jean interjected, trying to steady his voice.

Jeremy paused, Jean’s drink halfway to his mouth. He set it back on the table, and inched closer to Jean.

In the almost-dark of the party, Jean couldn’t tell which beat came from the bass and which came from his heart. If he was hearing both, he didn’t know which one was louder.

Putting two fingers to Jean’s chin, Jeremy made their eyes level. Jean almost whimpered, but bit his lip to keep it in.

“If it wasn’t obvious, Jean,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against the smaller boy, “I meant to say that you had a much better chance with me than he ever did.”

Attendez, restez-vous - “Wait, please stay.” Était-il gentil? - “Was he nice?”

tell me what you think!! yay

#jerejean #all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #aftg fic #myfic #anonymous #answered #THIS KINDA SUCKS. oh well #I'M BACK !!!!!!!

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kazosa · 8 years ago

Text

Second Chances - Jeff x Reader

Summary: Reader and Jeff work a project and become fast friends. The project ends and they go their separate ways, neither forgetting the other. With Hollywood being a small community, you two bump into one another either at events or projects, but there is always something keeping you apart. Will the obstacles ever end?

Chapter 1 Summary: Jeff & Reader meet. Nightmare movie set. Reader is a PA.

Warnings: language (probably), slow burn

MASTERLIST

A/N: I have a few ideas to continue this, but it’s still developing.

Picture was originally posted by @crzcorgi Thanks for that ;)

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to be in show business. I thought that I would be an actress, but when the time came to perform, my stage fright took over and that ended my dream of being on stage. I didn’t let that stop me from being in the business though. All through high school, I worked on all of the plays and musicals building sets and running the lighting boards for the productions. Our local community had a performance group that regularly put on shows and I managed to weasel my way into working on those as well.

As it turned out, I was really quite good at all of the technical aspects of the production. By the time my high school career ended, I was second in charge to the director in both high school and in the local community theater group.

I took all of the classes I could get at the community college and in just a year, I decided to move to Hollywood to look for work on a real production. Surprisingly, it didn’t take me very long to find work. I did work in the trenches as a production assistant. People tried to warn me that I would be treated worse than dirt, but I really didn’t care, I’d be working on something people could watch and say, “I worked on that.”

Production assistants deal with a LOT of crap from absolutely everyone. It’s the nice people, talent or crew, that really make the job worth while. The ones that understand that you’re just trying to do your job, the one’s who haven’t turned into a prince or princess and will still get their own lunch. It was the little things.

Sometimes, you’d be lucky enough to make friends with the people on the crew or cast members and they would continue to be your friend. Sometimes they completely forgot about you as soon as the production wrapped. Nine times out of ten, it was the ones who stayed friends with you that helped you get more work.

In 1999, I’d only been in the business for a little while and still hadn’t built up a thick skin when it came to people chewing me out. I was working on a really crap movie that had potential to be good with the actors that were on the sheet, but the script had been rewritten so many times, it had turned to a big ol’ pile of mess. But, there was one good thing that came out of that shit-show, it was where I met Jeff.

You’d finished your lunch in record time and had found a nice quiet place to hide out until your hour was up. It was about the only time during the day when you could stop thinking and rest for a few moments. Tonight was going to run late and that meant that you’d be working 18 hours that day. You’d been yelled at so many times already, and it was only just lunch time. You were working your ass off and getting a TON of work done, but the assistant director and everyone else expected so much more out of you. You thought for sure that they needed more PAs, but there were only four of you and two had already quit. You didn’t blame them one bit, but now you were doing the work of three people and it was wearing very thin on you.

You sat hunched down behind a tree just big enough to hide you from view. You had your discman and headphones on playing your favorite Glenn Miller cd, it was the only thing that helped. You sat there with your eyes closed and the soothing tones of “Moonlight Serenade” just started to play when a shadow fell across you. You hoped to God and all things holy that it wasn’t the slave driver AD coming to give you even more work to do.

“I’m on my break, Todd,” you grumbled not opening your eyes. It may have been a nontraditional time to take a break, but you were absolutely not giving it up.

The person nudged your foot.

“This tree taken?” the low, smooth voice asked.

At that, you shielded your eyes from the sun and cracked your eyes open to see the new cast member standing over you, holding out a bottle of water.

You took the bottle of water from him and cracked it, “Thanks.”

“You mind if I sit?” he asked.

“It’s a free tree,” you said, sounding much cooler than you felt and that was not saying much at all. “What about the costume?”

“Eh, I’ll worry about it later,” he said. “What are you listening to?”

You slipped off your headphones and hand them to him. You watch as he slips them on and listens to your music, waiting for him to judge you. You’d seen him on set for a few days prior to this moment, but you hadn’t had much need to talk to him since Serena was all over him. Serena was the only other PA. Working with her was like doing her work, too.

He didn’t judge your music choice.

“Swing, huh? You trying to relax or get in a good mood?” he asked handing back the headphones.

“Both,” you said at the same time.

“Don’t let ‘em get you down. I see you. You’re working your ass off and getting the job done. Anyone can see that. Try to take care of yourself, too, so you don’t get sick,” he pointed at the water bottle you’d barely touched. “You’re the only one keeping things moving around here,” he smiled, and what a smile it was. “Okay, I’m done giving advice. I’m Jeff, by the way.”

“(Y|N),” you said holding out your hand.

“Nice to meet you, (Y|N),” he said taking your hand and holding it a little longer than necessary. He cleared his throat and settled back against the tree, letting go of your hand, before continuing. “Nice spot you picked. Hope you don’t mind my intrusion.”

You shook your head no. You really didn’t mind at all. If it was going to be someone from the cast or crew to sit with you, you were glad it was him. You were so comfortable with him. He just had this calm, relaxed way about him. You did guess that when he was able to go out and have some fun that he was the life of the party. His energy just barely contained below the surface, and yet, he really was so calming to you.

Lunch breaks had been your only refuge for the last week and a half. It was the only time, it seemed, that you could get a moment of peace. Having Jeff there was nice though, the conversation was so easy. Usually you were so nervous and quiet around new people, but you found yourself chatting away. You and he both shared a lot in a short amount of time.

The beeping of your watch alarm told you that your lunch hour was over. Time had passed far too quickly. You dreaded turning your radio back on.

“(Y|N),” Jeff said getting your attention, “it’ll get better. You’ll be working on bigtime movies before you know it.”

You turned on your radio and were met with a barrage of angry voices asking where both you and Jeff were.

Keying the mic, “Found him.”

“Get back to set now, bring the talent!” the 1st AD barked.

“Missed us, huh?” he said already standing.

You rolled your eyes and nodded. Jeff held out his hands to pull you up.

“Would it be okay if I met you for your lunch tomorrow, too?” he asked. “I just like the quiet. The company is nice, too.” he grinned.

“Boy… If I didn’t know you were married…” you said. “Now let’s get you back on set before they completely lose their minds.”

You were pretty sure you would have given him anything he asked for if he only smiled at you like that. Jeff found you every day at the same time for the next two and a half weeks, and made sure that you took the much needed break on time. In that time, you kept working hard and were getting things done with efficiency. If Jeff was the only one that noticed, you decided you were okay with that.

#fanfic #reader insert #jdm #jeffrey dean morgan #kazosa

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