#but like. sure yeah once you get past that they're okay-ish.

[lloydfrontera]

building off of this i'm now thinking about rakiel coming back and everyone implicitly understanding that damian will go back to being his knight instead of theo's and all of them being completely caught off guard by how painfully strange it is at first.

because at this point theo and damian have been at each other's sides for almost a whole decade. they've spent longer together than they ever got to spent with rakiel. they know each other more than they got to know rakiel. and it kinda fucking sucks because most of their relationship is build upon what they were to rakiel and not really to each other. but you don't spent a decade at someone's side almost 24/7 without, y'know, making a bit of a bond. as much as it pains them both, at some point they stopped being completely rakiel's and started being a little each other's.

so sometimes when someone is being stupid theo will turn to the side to share a put-upon look with damian only to feel strangely bereft when he only finds a somewhat familiar member of the guard his father saddled him with. sometimes when he's frustrated and wants to blow some steam off he will ask for a spar partner and feel vaguely disappointed when he actually manages to defeat them. sometimes when he's very busy he will let himself get lost in his work and then feel oddly forlorn when he resurfaces many, many hours later all by himself because none of his staff felt entitled to make him take a break or rest.

and there's not a single part of him that would trade having his brother back for anything in the entire world. but it does feel a little bit like he lost a friend he hadn't realized he had in the process.

and damian never really forgets that he's once again rakiel's knight, he never could, he's always far too aware of his presence for that to happen, but sometimes he does forget he's not theo's too anymore. he is at all times attuned to rakiel's heartbeat, knows it better than he knows his own, but sometimes he finds himself anxiously listening for a second heartbeat that isn't there. he follows rakiel's day-to-day life with a familiarity that shouldn't be there after a decade's absence, but there's days when he finds himself preparing for a schedule that is not his to follow anymore. during public events he never loses sight of rakiel and stays with him at every moment, but more than once there's a split second of panic when he finds himself looking for a person he's no longer supposed to keep track of.

and there was never really any other choice, there was never really any real thought of staying somewhere that wasn't at rakiel's side. but only now does he realize how much of a place for himself he'd also carved at theo's side and how much he can ache to be somewhere he has no desire to go back to.

as for rakiel. well. it feels like he blinked and the world moved on without him. which it kinda did. and now he has to look at the two people he was the closest to and realize that he no longer knows them like he used to. that they're trying to fit themselves back into roles they've long outgrown and all he can do is try to keep up with changes he wasn't there to see happen.

and it would be kind of funny to see his brother and best friend act as if they barely know each other and pretend they didn't spend the better part of a decade together, if every interaction they did have didn't make it oh so very clear just how much of their lives rakiel missed. it's. a bit of a downer is he's honest.

they are soooo messed up about it. and trying so hard to pretend they aren't <3

[strangersteddierthings]

What's Eight Plus Seven?

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five

Alright y'all. We had the hurt, let's get some comfort started.

-

Steve leans against his door, expecting Eddie to follow him upstairs to continue their argument because Eddie's never been one to back down from an argument as far as Steve can tell, so he's using his weight to keep the door shut. It takes about five minutes of just leaning against the door before he hears a few light knocks on the door. He pretends he didn't hear them and soon starts to hear Eddie monologue-ing on the other side. He thinks he hears a 'sorry' and an 'I fucked up' but he doesn't really tune in until Eddie says something about cancelling Hellfire.

Spinning quickly, he yanks the door open and says, "You better not fucking cancel!"

"What? Don't you, like, want me out of your house?" Eddie looks startled and sounds confused.

"What I want is for the kids to get to play Dungeons and Dorks for an afternoon, just getting to be kids and fight against monsters that can't actually kill them," Steve says as he goes to put his hands on his hips (a move that Robin calls his Bitch Stance) but realizes he can't while still holding a book, so instead he folds his arms across his chest, cradling the book to his body.

He waits for Eddie to call him out for saying dorks instead of dragons, but Eddie just blinks at him, quiet for a moment before he says, "Oh. Uh, okay then. I'll just, uhh, I'll be back closer to noon, then. For the game."

"Don't you have prep to do?" Steve knows he's trying to pick a fight now but he's angry, and sad, and hurt underneath it all. Also, he doesn't understand the change in Eddie suddenly. Ten-ish minutes ago Eddie had shouted back I wasn’t exactly wrong, was I? You were a jock, a bully even! Where is that anger now?

"No. Not, uh, not really," Eddie says, avoiding meeting Steve's gaze, face turning a very light pink. "I was- I mean, yes, there was prep, but I did a majority of that already and what's left will take maybe three minutes so..."

Steve's confused now, still trying to cling to his anger. "But you called and asked if it was okay to come early specifically for that reason."

Eddie doesn't respond right away. He turns around to walk to the wall opposite Steve's door and thump his forehead against it. Steve is perplexed by the behavior (but he's been perplexed by Eddie since finding him at Reefer Rick's) so he just watches in silence as Eddie heaves a sigh and turns around to slump against the wall, facing Steve once again. He runs a hand through his hair, then drags that hand back forward and down his face. "Yeah. I did do that."

"So, what, you lied? Why?"

"I just wanted to hang out," Eddie whispers, like it almost hurts him to say out loud, which is such a weird thing to hear because it makes Eddie seem small in a way Steve's never seen him. Even during spring break Eddie was never small or quiet; his fear manifested as shouting, for fuck's sake. It chips away at the last of Steve's anger. He's long past the days of kicking someone when they're down.

"You... wanted to hang out," Steve repeats before heaving a sigh of his own, long-suffering man that he is. Maybe it is time to bury the hatchet and actual deal with this. If nothing else, it'll result in Steve being less defensive around Eddie when everyone hangs out, like for movie night or BBQs. Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to so he says, "Listen, I think we've got some shit to hash out, or whatever, so that should probably be done or, like, things are going to be weird when we all hang out, but I can't do that right now, man. So, stay or go, just make that game happen at noon. I'm going to stay up here."

Eddie nods, weirdly sullen and quiet again, as he says, "Yeah. Umm, maybe after the game? If you're feeling up to it."

"Sure. After."

Eddie raps his knuckles against the wall behind him twice before pushing off and heading back towards the stairs. He pauses to look over his shoulder and say, "If you wanna watch, or listen in, or something, I don't think anyone will mind." And then he's heading down the stairs.

Retreating back to his room, Steve tosses the book onto his bed before flopping face first next to it. He groans into his comforter before reaching for the book. He props himself up on his elbows and stares down at the cover before opening it to see Christopher's handwriting on the inside cover.

It's been years since he thought about Christopher and even longer since he's laid eyes on the books. He was so sure his mom had just gotten rid of them. All this time, they'd been right where he left them, shoved just far enough back to be out of sight on the shelf. His last link to Christopher.

That's not true, Steve scolds himself. His cousins, Amber and Robert, are still alive and in Washington. His grandparents still live on that farm in Michigan. Steve just hasn't seen them since the funeral.

He hadn't gone back to the farm the summer after freshman year, or any year since. His parents thought he was old enough to stay home for a whole month in the summer alone now, instead of paying to ship him off to his grandparents. Steve's old enough now to know that was why he'd spent a month every year out on the farm; so his parents could go off on longer work trips. Once they'd decided Steve was old enough to stay alone for the summer, that quickly reached other seasons and by the time Steve was a junior, the were gone more than they were home.

He doesn't even remember when he last spoke to them in person. He thinks the last phone call was right after Starcourt. It was just to make sure Steve got to job hunting, since his place of employment had burned down and the bills wouldn't pay themselves. Which is true. He doesn't have to pay rent, but all the utilities are in his name now.

Jesus, he doesn't want to be thinking about them.

He goes back to the book, flipping through the pages absently. Halfway through the book he finds a couple folded pieces of paper tucked close to the spine. He doesn't have to open them to know exactly what they are.

It's the character sheets he'd made.

He closes the book back atop them and rolls over to face his ceiling. He wants to call Robin, but the phones are downstairs and he doesn't want to go down there just yet. He also kinda wants to cry. To get rid of all these emotions about Christopher, and Freshman First Day, and Eddie.

Fucking Eddie. Who haunts Steve's thoughts more than he'd like because despite the grudge Steve has been holding, Eddie has been fun to be around and so good with the kids, especially Dustin. Fuck, after having watched Dustin break down when they thought he was dead- but he'd had a pulse. It was weak but it was there.

After Eddie'd been cleared of the charges and the months rolled on into summer, they'd spent lots of time together as a group. Steve will admit he tried to avoid Eddie as best he could (he knows he's petty, okay) but could still see how he blended smoothly into their group.

If this Eddie had been the one he met on Freshman First Day, instead of the dick that mocked him, they might very well be friends now.

That's the crux of it all, Steve thinks. That he wouldn't mind being friends with Eddie if not for that bottled up grudge he'd been holding onto. He can't bring himself to let it go and Steve's not even sure why. Thoughts and feelings aren't something Steve processes quickly, and it usually helps to talk it out with Robin. She lets him stumble through his thoughts, and doesn't mock him for messing up, or mixing up, words.

Goddammit, if he's really going to try talking this out with Eddie, he's going to have be open and honest and maybe a little vulnerable and he doesn't know if he can do that.

But he'll have to. For better or worse, he can't just keep Eddie at arms length. They need to either come to the conclusion that they can be friends, or not, and then go from there. (Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to.)

In the end, Steve's not sure how long he just stares up at the ceiling but a sudden shout breaks him from his trance. It sounded like Dustin. Hellfire must have started.

Steve leaves his room to go lean against the half wall of the hallway, so he could look down to the dining table where everyone has gathered to play. No one notices him, so Steve sinks to the floor and turns, so he can lean against the wall, closes his eyes, and listens in.

The room below is filled with noise. Shouts of excitement, and groans of pain, and sighs of relief. Dustin yells at his dice when it rolls a Nat 1. Mike curses up a storm over a barely missed perception check that makes the party fall into a surprise round. He hears Lucas whoop happily and then what sounds like him taking several victory laps around the table.

He used to be an imaginative kid, able to easily conjure castle, and knights, and dragons in his mind's eye. Listening to Eddie describe a new location, or NPC, or monster makes it easy to bring that part of himself back. Eddie is descriptive and uses so many voices that Steve would be embarrassed to even attempt. But because Eddie is being descriptive, so is everyone else at the table. Erica has adopted an accent of some sort for her character. Dustin and Will go into great detail describing what they want their character to do. The older members of Hellfire do the same, and one of them is using an Irish accent that if he used while talking to Steve, he'd would think it was his first language.

Steve's not sure how long he sat there, long enough that they've taken a snack break and are back at it again, before he decides he might as well watch, too. He gets up and goes downstairs. There's a pause at the table when he wonders in and plops down on the couch. He makes eye contact with Eddie and offers a small half smile. Eddie grins back, and starts back into the game, pulling everyone's focus.

Watching is interesting. He gets to see the Party jab at each other, or lean over and whisper about something. It's nice, to see them being kids. Having fun.

They end around five and Steve is surprised at how quickly five hours had passed.

"So, Steve, how was watching your first DnD game?" Dustin asks, pausing on his way to the door to do so.

Steve considers teasing him, but he goes for honesty instead. "Pretty interesting. It might not be my last time observing. I gotta see you get killed sometime, right?"

"Rude, Steve. Rude," Dustin is grinning though.

"Tell your mom hi for me, and let me know when she's making pork chops again. I'd like to crash that dinner."

Dustin rolls his eyes and shakes his head but he hugs Steve before leaving. Between all the older Hellfire members, they all have rides home that aren't Steve or Eddie.

Speaking of the latter, he's slowly packing things away at the table. Clearly killing time so it won't look like he's intentionally staying after everyone's gone.

Soon, the house is empty again.

"So, I'm not sure... how to start this conversation," Eddie admits to the silence. He's still at the table, standing behind where he was previously sitting, fiddling with a die. "But, I'm sorry. For that day. You were right, you know? When you said I was lashing out at you first."

"Thanks. For the apology," Steve stands from the couch and moves to the table, toying with the tablecloth instead of looking at Eddie. "I, uhh, I'm not sure where to go from here, either? I spent such a long time angry at you. For pointing out all the things I'm bad at in front of everyone there. For making me feel like an idiot."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Now Steve looks up at Eddie. "You say that, but like, why? Are you sorry because what you did was shitty, or because you want to be my friend now?"

Eddie blinks, apparently thrown by Steve's question.

"Because, like, you were pretty dismissive of Lucas before Spring Break and he helped save your life. So, it's like, are you okay with being shitty if the people you hurt aren't people you like? 'Cause I used to be that way, and I'm not going to be friends with someone who is."

"Yeah, no, you're right," Eddie nods. "For all that I scream about conformity, and how stupid it is, I've been rather quick to dismiss everyone outside my own... group. I held rather close to that nerds verses jocks crap for too long. Lucas is a jock, but he's also a nerd, and so very loyal to his friends. And you- you're really fucking awesome."

"I am," Steve interrupts with a cheeky grin.

"Ass. But yeah, you're pretty awesome, and I've been feeling all fucked up today because, we could have been friends, couldn't we? In high school. If I'd just let you take the damn flier and kept my mouth shut."

"Hey, that's not all on you," Steve says. "I would have still joined the basketball team, and the swim team. And, like, I was so desperate for any shred of attention from my parents that I would never have picked Hellfire over sports meetups. I could have joined and still ended up a bully by sophomore year."

"Well, I didn't help-"

"I made those choices, Eddie. And it doesn't matter because it's in the past. So, like, we can just move forward. Start over, or whatever."

Eddie looks him up and down before giving one sharp nod, then breaking out into a wide grin, sticking his hand out for a handshake. "Hi. Name's Eddie Munson."

Steve laughs, reaching out to shake Eddie's hand. "Steve Harrington."

"Great, pleasure to meet you. Do you wanna hang out? We can play 20 questions. Get to know each other."

"Sure," Steve chuckles, extracting his hand from Eddie's. "Let me order some pizza first."

First time hanging out with Eddie alone. Guess they'll find out if they can be friends after all.

[qqueenofhades]

Okay but isn’t it like Warrior Nun or something that was canceled by netflix but then due to fan support was eventually brought back or renewed somehow?

I'm not sure, but there have been a lot of "uncancellations," because whether a show is popular has literally nothing to do with whether a streamer, especially Netflix, renews it. SAB was top of the most-watched list for months, had a vocal and dedicated fanbase calling for its renewal, and it was clear that people were interested both in it and in the potential Six of Crows spinoff. But Netflix gonna Netflix, and I don't for one moment believe that "the impact of the strike" had anything to do with it. That reeks of studio propaganda, frankly, to blame the writers/actors for going on strike at all and being the Big Meanies who are the reason (not Netflix's well-established pattern of doing exactly this) they won't get any more of their favorite show. After all, they're only giving up a TINY extra portion of their revenues, there's no actual budgetary reason they couldn't do it, and if it was just because it was popular (which has never saved non-Witcher Netflix shows in the past), they could have renewed it. Instead, this plays very much as a petty "fine, you forced us to do the deal with the writers/actors, but we can still axe boatloads of your favorite shows all at once to punish you, neener neener" power move.

As I said in my tags last night: they didn't HAVE to wait until after the strike to cancel it (and a few others). I realize that shouting at Netflix for dickish cancellation practices is like shouting at the sky for being blue or Republicans for being idiots, but still. SAB was always long odds to get a season 3 just because three seasons means Netflix has to start -- gasp! -- paying people for residuals and streaming, or at least that was the case under the old contract. So it had reached the dreaded Two Season Chopping Block, but if Netflix wanted to cancel it, as they were clearly planning to do, they could have just, you know. Done that. Instead, waiting this long and explicitly blaming "the impact of the strike" sounds, to me, like a great big bucket of passive-aggressive bullshit, and we know they're petty enough to do these kinds of things. So yeah.

Anyway, this means I am in fact going to do the Lost in Wonderland sequel fic sooner or later (Empire of Bones still has first dibs on my muse, I know people are waiting for an Unknown and Static Strange update as well, etc etc). It won't be a full retelling/treatment of s3, but the fact that I can now use other characters in addition to Fivan means that there will be a somewhat broader focus with more plot threads, and it will incorporate elements of what I would have liked to see in SAB s3. I.e. Mad Queen Alina, Crows Ice Court Rescuing Fivan Shenanigans, Mei Looking For Her Dads, Very Polite Shadow Monster David, and other fun things. So hey. Silver-ish lining, or something. Still, fuck you Netflix. Fuck you very much.

[hearts4golbach]

Zombified. (Larry Johnson x Fem!Reader.)

part 10.

co-written by @cupid-isgone

We spent a good while eating like kings that night, and slept with full bellies. The house, it turned out, had working, heated, water!

We all agreed that we'd take quick showers, for moral and for health. The warm water felt great and I had to fight not to take too long.

While I was there, though, my mind started to wander, considering the past couple weeks.

I had been alone, fighting to survive by myself, and then suddenly I wasn't. I had a whole group of people, friends to help me.

They saved me and I got to live to meet Larry all over again.

I thought about the coincidence that it was Larry I had ran into and fell in love with. I truly believed it was meant to happen. I wasn't sure where I'd be if I hadn't had him. I smiled softly at the sleeping boy in front of me.

I gently shook him awake. "Hey, get up. It's your turn to shower." He groaned dramatically as I tried to half-drag him out of his sleeping bag.

"5 more minutes." he muttered, pulling the sleeping bag over his face before groaning once more.

"Nope. Don't get sassy on me, I'm doing you a favor!" I tugged at his arm. "If the others go before you, they'll take up all the hot water. They're still sleeping, so you know Sal won't rush in to take your spot yet."

"I guess you're right." he whined, sitting up. his messy morning hair was adorable, making a stupid grin form on my face. he stood up, kissing my forehead before walking into the bathroom.

I grinned and leaned back on my heels, staring after him as he closed the door. My leg was still slightly sore and a bit stiff, but I was finally able to move around on my own.

I walked down into the kitchen, grabbing a can of soda out of the fridge and cracking it open. yes, I'm aware you shouldn't drink soda first thing in the morning. but, we're in the fucking zombie apocalypse and now I'm my own mom. I grabbed Larry a glass of water and took it up to the bathroom, knocking on the door.

"Larry, you done yet?" I called softly. I didn't want to wake up Sal and Todd just yet. I wanted to have some time to just exist peacefully with Larry before they got up.

"nah," he laughed, "but you can come in. there's a curtain." I hummed in response, walking into the bathroom. "what's up, sweetheart?"

I set the glass on the counter, leaning my elbows on it and wiping some fog off the mirror idly. Larry glanced out the edge of the curtain before saying, "Water? Don't you think I have enough water right here?" He laughed at his own joke.

"oh, hush your face. that's boiling hot water, thought you'd like some cold water to wake you up." I rolled my eyes, drawing miscellaneous shapes in the fog.

"Yeah, yeah." We both went silent for a bit after that. I drew a cartoon-ish looking zombie in the mirror and wiped it away. I wanted to think about more positive things. Like that night stargazing with Larry.

it was like I could still feel the excitement and amplified connection we had that night. I couldn't help but smile. I also thought about our first kiss in a storage closet.

It almost felt bittersweet, with everything that led up to it. We had gone from almost hating each other, to being chased by zombies together, to then making out in a closet. I grinned thinking about both of our bad breath. My mind shifted then, to slow dancing with him.

I wished that moment never ended. my thoughts were interrupted by Larry stepping out of the shower, already wrapped in a towel. "you okay?"

I smiled softly at him. "Yeah. Just thinking about stuff."

"mmm," he hummed, "like what?" he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on my lips. he took a random hairbrush out of the drawer and began to brush his hair.

"y'know. Stuff. Like that atrocious hairstyle you had in 10th grade," I snickered at the face he made.

"oh," he rolled his eyes, "the one time I try to be romantic." he smirked.

He walks to the mirror and starts finger-combing his hair. I roll my eyes as he struggles to undo a knot. "Here, let me help you."

"I'm goo-" he attempted to push my hands away. "y/n." he tried to stop me.

But I had already seen it. An angry red patch of skin in the space between his neck and shoulder. In the center, there were already greying marks spreading out like vines.

A zombie bite.

"y/n." he repeated, but I didn't listen. I stared at the bite, hoping and praying I was hallucinating and it'd dissappear.

"tell me this is a joke. please, for the love of God, say it's a joke. say this is a terrible prank and that I have nothing to worry about." I pleaded quietly, not removing my eyes from the scene.

"I... Y/n, you don't..." He paused. I shoved myself backwards, leaning heavily against the wall opposite to the mirror. "Babe, please let me explain."

"Explain what?! The fact that you've gotten a zombie bite? When did that even happen? How long have you been keeping this from me??"

he sighed in defeat, shutting his eyes. "I got the bite whenever we first saved you." he admitted.

I breathed in sharply, closing my eyes. I sunk to the ground. "Stop. You're lying. This is a prank. Stop it."

he sighed, "the cats out of the bag. I'm sorry, I should've told you sooner but I couldn't ruin what we had- have." he corrected.

"no," I protested, "Don't start with the past tense shit, you're not dying."

He sighed. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. Without saying a word, I shakily stood up. Larry tried to support me, let me lean against him, anything, but I just pushed past him and into our makeshift bedroom.

every time I took a breath, it felt like there was no air left in the world. I pressed my hand against the wall as I walked inside, trying to keep my balance. Todd and sal had begun to stir.

"y/n? what's wrong?" Todd's forehead creased.

I just shook my head, still reeling from shock. I decided to go grab a glass of water. Maybe splashing some in my face would prove it was a dream or something. The other three followed me awkwardly. I heard a tap and half-turned to see Larry slide something metal out of a hiding place.

he slid the metal object into his waistband and kept following me. I racked my brain, trying to figure out what it could be.

"hello? earth to y/n. what's going on?" sal grabbed my shoulder.

I jumped at his touch and turned to look at him helplessly. I wanted to reach forward, hug him, comfort him, anything. But instead I just pulled away and walked outside. For the first time in a long time, the air was warm. The sky was dark and cloudy, though, and I could smell rain in the wind.

the old feeling of comfort that came with the smell of rain made me want to cry even harder. I could see fear start to grow in sals eyes, meanwhile todd was already panicking.

"y/n," Larry walked up behind me. "you know what needs to happen."

He pulled out a pistol and gently handed it to me, putting his hands over mine to carefully close my fingers around the handle. "Larry- What?"

"I'm too dangerous. It's been days. I'm lucky it hasn't set in faster, but who knows what will happen if you leave me loose?"

"what the fuck is going on?!" sal yelled.

Larry said nothing, just pulled back his hair to reveal the bite that he had been hiding. I burst into tears finally, covering my face.

I looked up, watching tears fill sal and Todd's eyes. Todd covered his mouth, nothing but a squeak coming from him. sal took off his prosthetic for the first time and let it drop to the ground. he pulled Larry in, squeezing him tight.

"Larry, we don't have to do this. we can find a cure! we can end this hell and save everyone!" I wiped my eyes, fidgeting around.

"y/n," Todd consoled, "were not scientists. it's not possible, I'm sorry."

"if I can't be with you guys, I don't want to be alive, or even a zombie." Larry sobbed onto sals shoulder. tears streamed down sals scarred face as he pursed his lips.

"but you promised. you promised we'd go on a date, a real fucking date one day. please, lar. you can't leave me now." I pleaded one last time, knowing it was the end. he turned around and hugged me. my heart ached, knowing it was the last time I'd feel Larry's touch. he didn't have to say anything, I just knew there was no hope. "I'll miss you."

"I love you, y/n." he pulled back, placing his hands on either side of my face. "keep going for me. kick this zombies in the ass and show them how strong you are." he continued to cry. he gently kissed my lips. "I love you all."

It took everything I had to let him pull away from me. It was like my entire soul, my entire being, everything that made me who I was, was crumbling around me. My body shook as I sobbed silently.

I roughly wiped tears from my face. Larry had no chance of surviving this, and keeping him around would only put everyone else in danger. I knew what had to happen. And I wouldn't let anyone but me be the one to do it. If anyone would have to live with this guilt, it would be me.

I clicked the safety off the gun. I looked up and met Larry's eyes. "I love you," I whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear me over the gentle wind. I felt a drop of rain land on my face, but I ignored it. Larry dipped his head, smiling sadly at me.

I put my finger on the trigger and pulled.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

hello i want to send some of those drawing prompts in but i know nothing about your ocs. would you mind telling me a little about them? general personality traits, theme song (if they had one), role, and whatever else you'd like :>

owo!!!!!! :D okay SO i have multiple different stories (many many many) but I'll elaborate on the two that are currently most in my mind (apart from the animal-centric one, #taira, which wouldn't work with those drawing prompts)

Um. Putting this under a read more because it's getting long. Gonna copy-paste the under-the-cut stuff into a reblog to my backup sideblog, tho, just in case. Trigger tags are for the second story, and only because they're mentioned as part of it but definitely not in detail.

#adira - the tag goes for both the story as a whole and the main character. in summary my beloved girl discovers the Bible (dystopia which has wiped out Christianity in that location and no internet so very localised an controlled) and has a crisis of faith while working everything out. that's the first book. it develops, but yeah. most of these characters start out in their early/mid teens. may be referencing later events because this series is likely to end up covering at minimum a decade of their lives to a greater or lesser degree.

Adira - has a temper (classic redhead), passionate and intense about many things, somewhat arrogant, very determined to figure out the truth of the world, somewhat a self insert (has ended up completely accidentally very visually similar to me xD ) . I don't know her theme song. She's the main character. I love her so much. I can talk endlessly about her but also I'm kinda mixed up atm with reading over past drafts and how she was portrayed then and how that'll change.

Tom - ALSO has a temper (ends up with significant anger issues/tendency to violence that require a lot of work to get over and nearly destroys his marriage), physically disabled (details to be worked out), has a bunch of health issues, significant self-hatred and attendant mental problems, tendency towards obsession, side B bi. Dunno if he has a theme song as I've found yet. He's a supporting/secondaryish/main character. Becomes one of Adira's closest friends and has a significant role in the first book. Has a nasty history that honestly has ended up more like grooming than anything else (he the victim). Is driven by determination and an iron will that will carry him almost beyond the point of endurance. I love this dude sm. Also he's possibly half Indian? Not certain yet tho. But yeah, I got a lot to figure out about his character. Incidentally he and Adira end up married (and yeah their relationship tips into toxic territory for a while before he gets pulled up short and forced to rebuild it; not entirely his fault but definitely mostly). Obviously I need to work on that bit too but since that's plenty beyond the first book I'm more working on setting up foreshadowing and his character so that he'll develop into that sort. (I love him but he Sure Has Issues.)

Emily - uhhhh she's not particularly fleshed out yet xD She's Adira's adopted sister, but they're not especially close anymore (they grow closer over the course of the books, and were friends as small children). I had an idea for her and then I kinda a) realised it didn't fit with the rest of it and b) yoinked the best bits of her character for a different story which I'll expand on once I've done with these ones xD Anyway, she is good and kind and sweet and gentle and I love her. Her only real faults are rather Jane-Bennet-ish at present, and also that she's too ready to agree unquestioningly with those she trusts. In later books she goes through a crisis of faith and quite literally nearly dies as a result (there's a fun bit in there where the other characters on the scene realise that they don't know if the danger she ended up in was accidental or deliberate (it was accidental) and others go through Many Emotions as a result; they're all in a hard spot at that point with varying mental challenges). I found a theme song for her once but I can't remember what it was. She's a side/secondary character.

Dorothy - Adira and Emily's mother. She's somewhat similar to her daughter, but without some of the emotion to drive her. Pretty cool and calculating, but with a great warmth underneath. She's repressed her emotion for years and years in a mildly abusive family situation (her husband Theo is horrible and I despise him). She helps Adira to figure things out, with the help of a friend she introduces Adira to (Mr Saunders). I feel like I don't have a great handle on her character specifically, just Vibes.

Mr Saunders - he's ended up being a main character of the short story collection I call on here #suh, because two of the five stories (including the longest, at 23k) deal with him as a main character. (That short story collection is to be self-published in ??? once I finish editing it. his stories are tagged #story:wcb and #story:preacher (tho I'm not sure the latter has anything tagged as yet.) Anyway I've got it professionally edited I just need to go through that and then one more round of edits and then it's formatting and printing timeee.) Anyway, he's old and slow and very very gentle and kind. Like Dorothy, there are depths to him. But he loves deeply and has been hurt and yet those hurts slip off him like water. I love him so much and wish I could meet him in real life. He's the only one at the start of the story who is already currently Christian (in secret tho, and his ending is... I have Thoughts on that), though he's introduced mid-story. He's v important to Adira's development.

Neil - this dude has been severely depressed for YEARS okay he's my darling even tho it's mostly his own fault. Originally heavily inspired by Loukanos from S. J. Knight's A Time To series (fantastic 10000/10 would recommend, especially the first book). He's a doctor. He's Emily's biological uncle, her only remaining biological family. He has terrible hurt in his past, and he dwells on it and grows rancid over it. Incredibly bitter and lashes out. Not sure when he's gonna be introduced in-story, I know by what time I need him in the book but I dunno when he'll be introduced. He also has trauma/resentment around Christianity that he has to work through. I need to flesh him out better.

Giselle - we only learn her name closer to the end, when she and the story part ways. Her tag is #the evil spychologist. Not a typo, and for a good reason. Anyway, I adore writing her scenes and interactions with Adira. Shows how much I love writing stories where the main character is aware that they're being manipulated. Her character as herself isn't particularly apparent (she may show up later in the books or she may not) she's more a front for the evil government.

Those are the only main characters I can think of at this instant, but other side characters include Rosalind (kind of love interest for Tom at one point, it's complicated), Elton (can i punch his face can i PLEASE punch his face), Merry (either Adira or Emily's friend from <extracurricular>), Sandra (Dorothy's friend w a family), Rick (the resident Good Atheist), [name] (I forgot her name rn but she was Adira's friend from IMI, becomes an archivist like Dorothy and later meets Adira again. looked conservative and quiet and happy and whatnot in school and when she meets her again she's sporting a smart blue haircut, incredible heels and long sleeves...), and not to forget the twins Adira and Tom unexpectedly adopt with zero notice in like the fifth book xD their names are Faith and Hope. There's also another Faith (hehe spoilers but I love her sm).

oh crumbs I forgot Tom's entire family. Anyway there are a bunch of them. Alison (mother), can't remember his dad's name, and the kidlings are in no particular order Norah, Elizabeth, Katy, Rufus, Andy (he's importanter), Rufus's twin uhhhh can't remember his name, I think that's all the kiddos. I named each of the girls after a character I love lol.

ANYWAY I think that's all the summary of that particular series. moving on to the other which has a much smaller cast and is very character-driven

#vaniah - this tag goes for both the focal character and the story. Basically a story of healing from trauma, partly using the vehicle of an arranged marriage to handle it. It's very strongly Christian, both main characters are Christians and their faith is the only thing that holds them through everything, especially Vaniah.

Vaniah - my boy is Traumatised. Partly this is his own fault/perceived as his fault bc he was pressured into things and feels later that he should've said no, and he deals with incredible guilt and self-hatred. It's an extremely dark story with a lot of dark themes (graphic on-page self harm at least once as well as description of scarring, lots of discussion of suicidal ideation, potential suicide attempt, mentions of alcoholism and a couple of instances of my boy being Quite Drunk, some level of mentions of adult themes and slightly suggestive content, though that especially I will handle as carefully as I'm able). However! there is light hearted stuff in there too and ultimately it's a story of hope and rising from rock bottom. Vaniah loves butterflies and will infodump for as long as anyone wants about them (and other things). I dont really know how to talk about his character because for most of it he's SO consumed with self hatred to a greater or lesser extent. I don't know, I'm not selling this very well xD Alexandra has done fanart of a scene from this story and I'm still obsessed with it.

Emily - I know she has the same name as in Adira's story. These were originally connected, and now she's different. I'm still using this name but that will change in time (possibly to Amelie? idk). She deals with an eating disorder which Vaniah also helps her with. She's sweet and very gentle but has strong feelings. Vaniah perceives her as very pure and innocent, though this in fact is not quite true. She's been through somewhat herself, and her hope and faith are more out of determination than come easy.

I could ramble on about these two forever but I have somewhat done so before probably (you could check the tags. the tag #emily does cover both Emilies tho)

Side characters include: Ben (Emily's brother), Camilla (his wife), [name] (Vaniah's sister), uhhhhh there are probbably more I'm forgetting rn

Please ask me for any details or clarification or ask about anything to do with anything! :D

[cumulohimbus]

Dear fellow transmascs, trans men, afab nonbinary beings, and anyone who is not directly impacted by transmisogny; (*Note: we won't get all the terminology right here probably, but we don't keep up so much on current discourse about labels and acronyms--we apologize if some is outdated, we did our best.)

We know sometimes it's hard to not feel hurt, and in some cases personally smeared by other beings talking about the impact of transmisogny and transmisogynoir. Sometimes these messages are interwoven with comments about shitty (white) transmasc/afab enby beings, and we understand the urge to protest: "Are we not also at risk of discrimination and violence for being trans?"

Well, yeah, sure. And there's already a word for that: it's just "misogyny". This being is not so scared of being saddled with unlawful charges or even flat out murdered by police, because we expect that, despite passing okay-ish, if police were to clock us as trans they're going to just treat us as uwu weak woman.

We have noticed a common pattern with transphobia/transmisia.

For transmascs & afab enbys, transphobia/transmisia often seems to manifest in being dismissed and not taken seriously. "You're just a lesbian." "You just have depression and anxiety and you're overreacting." "You must have penis envy." It's patronizing and invalidating, absolutely. We cannot just be what we say we are; we will forever be the weaker, submissive, maternal ones. Some of y'all get so incensed at this that you participate in "pragmatic denialism", i.e. the mindset of "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em". You swing so hard at masculinity that you perpetuate unjust and demeaning patriarchal social structures. This being has been there before--early on in our transition, because it was the only way we felt like we could have any sort of autonomy. And we've moved past that now; we very much hope you learn to do the same.

A former religion teacher of ours once mailed us a four-page handwritten letter about how she was praying for us because we must be so mentally ill to think we're trans. She could accept us if we were bisexual, but we "have a vagina", therefore we "are a woman".

But she didn't silence our voice and try to cut us off from our entire community. She didn't threaten (or perpetrate) violence or calling law enforcement on us. She didn't call us an "it" (I mean, it/its pronouns are fine for us these days, but you know what we mean). She didn't paint us as a sexual deviant or predator. She didn't brand our very existence as obscene. We were wrong--misguided--but never obscene.

For transfem and amab enbys, transphobia/transmisia carries extra layers of complexity. Many deal with a number of the same things we've described above I'm sure (the not being taken seriously, especially if they do not go to great lengths to present themself as femininely as possible, which we find extraordinarily infuriating). But then there are those who do take transfem and amab enby beings seriously, and in doing so also label them as abominations. Because who would willingly demote themself to womanhood and femininity? There must be some sort of predatory motive...

To try to summarize these patterns of transphobia:

Transmascs/afab queers = are and will always be women = misogyny Transfems/amab queers = were men who 'chose' to demote themselves to womanhood (and therefore must have some dangerous ulterior motive) = transmisogyny (a type of misogyny where victims are seen as men simply playing pretend as women; it denies transfem beings their womanhood AND punishes them for their femininity because femininity is already inferior to masculinity)

All this is to say, please don't divide the community more. Please just listen to the experiences of trans women and amab queer folks; ask how you can be supportive if you're able. And do yourself a favor as well: throw away your puritanical beliefs about obscenity. Obscenity is largely a whole crock of bullshit. My religion teacher would have been equally, if not more correct about us if she had deemed us "sexually deviant" instead of merely "mentally ill", and you know what? We own our weird kinks; they're not hurting anybody else (unless it's consensual ;p ).

For those that read all the way to here, there is nuance we surely skipped over for the sake of this post not being wordier than it already is. We encourage you to analyze the words we have said, and not put any in our mouth which we have not said. The things we have left out would require an entire textbook.

Transfems and amab queer folks (and also intersex folks!) feel free to add on anything as you see fit; my sword and shield are yours.

-Cumulohimbus, et al.

[lehdenlaulu]

Going to be vibrating with excitement for the next few weeks until BG3 comes out, but in the meantime -- if it's ok to ask -- what are your plans are for your first playthrough? Character details? Any backstory thoughts? Plans and goals for the playthrough?

Of course it's okay! 😄

Okay, some things might change a little once I see all the background options etc. at full launch, but for now, my first playthrough is going to be the following:

Name: Valisa Falconswoop Race: Wood Half-elf Alignment: Neutral Good (I know they're not implemented in the game but that's how I'll play her) Class: Ranger (Beastmaster + Sanctified Stalker) Animal companion/familiar: Raven (unless I can have a falcon, which is unfortunately unlikely, or a big feline) Origin: Artisan from The High Forest (if possible)

My backstory for her is that she's a child of two half-elves themselves, a druid mother and ranger father who has largely retired from his wild-wandering due to injury and become a woodworker, teaching her his craft as well. She grew up in a small village on the western outskirts of the Forest (possibly Noanar's Hold, I have to look into that), but has traveled the northern Sword Coast in particular a reasonable amount in her 60-ish years, sometimes settling down for a time in smaller settlements to work as local ranger and artisan. She does not mind larger cities, but as a ranger partially raised by the local druid circle, she does not feel entirely at home in them, especially for extended periods. (I'm also thinking she's probably at least worked with the Harpers if being one isn't a background option.)

So yeah, I'll probably be playing her as practical, observant, and generally kind and benevolent. She comes from a druid stock and rangers are very much not fans of goblins in general (it's even a class-specific dialogue choice to call them pests) so I'm absolutely siding with the druids, ousting Kagha's bitch ass by exposing her short-sighted plans, helping the tieflings etc. And while the Halsin romance route would probably make more sense for her than a Waterdhavian ex-archmage with a... colorful past, I'm thinking I'm sticking to Gale -- depending on how much they've potentially changed him. If he's still the generally good dude with some big secrets (though I can't imagine the Archmage of Waterdeep losing his powers for any reason remaining a secret instead of a massive source of gossip for long, but we'll see), I can work with that and hopefully encourage him on the path of redemption. It has all the potential for some juicy drama for sure.

My temperamental storm sorcerer playthrough will inevitably be quite a bit more chaotic at least, so I'm thinking with Valisa I'm trying to be honorable, avoid using the mindflayer parasite as much as I can, leaning towards mercy and kindness even if it sometimes bites me in the ass (though it's more like a 'fool me once shame on me, but the next time you're getting an arrow in the eye'), that kind of thing. The boring hero archetype, if you will. 😆

And obviously I'm going to talk to every single animal I see.

Did that satisfy your curiosity? 😂

[joykai]

MY TURN!!! :D

(Hi this is Ashley btw, my friend had something to do so we held off the account swapping for the time being until they're back in town, but yeah the joykai account now has it's rightful owner back!)

TW: Abuse, bullying, mentions of sewerslidal thoughts and attempted sewerslide(SH), mentions of surgery, also near death experience, and mentions of attempted gr@pe and SA

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LAST CHANCE TO BACK OUT, I WILL REPEAT THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.

TW: Abuse, bullying, mentions of sewerslidal thoughts and attempted sewerslide (SH), mentions of surgery, also near death experience, and mentions of attempted gr@pe and SA

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okay!

1. I have a scar across my stomach from when my mum poured boiling water on me, I was like 6-7 ish when this happened

2. I have a scar that goes from the left side of my forehead all the way back to the base of my neck, I actually don't remember this one but my abuela said that was because I passed out and it did some funky shit to my brain to make me forget it (trauma response perchance?) but she said it involved a group of girls and a poorly placed cliff side. This happened when I was like 11

3. A piece of my ear is missing, like not enough to be noticeable but if you actually get like withing slapping distance of me you can very much see it. This happened because of a game of bow and arrow and a very angry older brother. This I remember very well and It happened on my 12th birthday.

4. Cancer scar time boi!!!! same as Icarus (twinsies) and it is NOT my biggest scar but probably the most prominent one age 5

5. I had SHIT kidneys when I was younger and had to get a transplant when I was 13 and I remember it because I hoped I would just not wake up because on my 13th birthday is when I got the call that my dad was found dead under a bridge.

6. Age 14, dog bite from my beautiful girl Betsy who had to be put down or else she'd live the rest of her life in pain, she felt so bad about biting me but I was so happy and showed my tio so proudly because that meant I could remember her, (Padfoot licks the scar from time to time and loves to nuzzle it, I think he knows <3)

7. Age 15 walking home from school this guy tried to gr@pe me, he managed to unbutton my shirt before I got a good kick on him, turns out he had a big boy knife and now I have a huge scar on my thigh, I got a tattoo because it looked like a lightning bolt so know zeus holds the scar (double meaning losers).

8. My dad (R.I.P) had a pair of outside slippers that he kept by the door, once when I was like 5 I was running in and out of the house (barefoot mind you because I had no care in the world) to repeat messages back and forth from my mum and my brother because they were doing different things but wanted to talk so I was the little messenger boy, turns out as I was running I kept jumping on the slipper and turns out said slipper had a nail in it, I remember lifting my foot and the bottom of my foot feeling weird, and in-between my toes feeling wet so I placed my hand down and saw blood, I ran to my dad because my mum told me to fuck off and he took me to A&E and now I have a scar because the nail went deep into my foot apparently and I had to have a wrap on and not put pressure so I also walked on crutches.

9. I was born with a cut lip, like a scar on my lip, no explanation but It makes me look badass now

10. scar across my eyebrow that goes down past my eye (thank god I'm not blind in that eye). This happened when I was 16 and fell on a very sharp rock. Once again how am I not blind? I have no clue but that whomever is up there.

11. I have a scar across the bridge of my nose, once more due to a rock (damn rocks really don't like me fr) this one was recent lol, like a couple of months ago

12. I have scars across my back that I rather not talk about but they are there and I can now as an adult appreciate them as they show how much I've grown from who I was due to the childhood I had

13. fuck you Kevin I'm airing you out mf, this bastard threw a plate at me that shattered near my shoulder and a piece of the plate got stuck in my shoulder then this idiot pulls it out and then gets pissed at me because blood got on him.

14. SH scars, started at 13 stopped at 16 relapsed at 17 stopped at 18 fully, I'm gonna be a decade clean soon!!! >w<

15. My amazing best friend decided that we just NEEDED a glass table and as I was building it the damn thing shattered in my hands so I have these cool scars on my palms (that are sensitive as fuck)

that's all the ones I can think of at the top of my head, If I have anymore I'll add!!!

Tataaa!!!

scars in fiction: I got this trying to save my lover from an assassin- but tragically, I was too late. now I carry the mark of my failure with me always, and I can never forget~

scars in real life: so I was trying to open macaroni sauce with a paring knife

[beetsandskzreads]

silent bright summer night

bang chan x gn!reader, y/n works with skz and became their friend (the ultimate dream haha)

genre: tooth-rotening fluff, slight angst with a happy ending

notes/warnings: nothing intense, this is very fluffy, there's brief mentions of cheating, long distance, y/n's exes, fear of abandonment, slight insecurities, deep talks, reader and chan are slightly wine drunk, y/n and chan are whipped, y/n makes it explicit they want to date someone very warm and caring (aka chan), i don't think that's a warning tho djsjs just saying

scenario: on a balcony, at a beach apartment on a summer night of vacation, y/n opens up to chan about their past and current lovers. what y/n doesn't know is why chan is so interested listening to it.

It was 1:01 am when chan and I found ourselves in the balcony that overlooked the city and it's bright lights on a summer night. Skz had gone to sleep right after all of us came back from a night out of lots of fun, buying stuff on stores by the beach, having ice cream, seeing the view of the city lights reflecting on the sea water, appreciating street artists...

The two of us had been talking the whole evening, we hung out as a group but mostly just spoke to each other and laughed at the members jokes, both of us having a sparkle in our eye every time we saw the group happy. There was this unspoken pleasantness, a bliss, calmness in the air but with a lot of excitement. Chan was so happy to be around the sea with "the kids" as he refers to them and being at the beach almost 24/7 this week, it was like his natural habitat, his home, a comfort place. It left you feeling even softer for him, and as you shared your love for the sea, your feelings were at a peak. You liked Chan, and you loved this place as much as he did.

The night was so great, everyone was out like a lightweight as soon as we arrived to the vacation apartment we're in. Chan and I were testing the theory that a glass of wine would help us get drowsy and help us fall asleep as well, since we both have trouble falling asleep and felt nothing but a remaining excitement from the night out. It came to me especially because of the enthusiasm of talking to him, we were connecting so well, I didn't want this to ever end.

And so we drank (one glass quickly becoming the whole bottle) and we talked for what felt like hours on end, that neither of us wanted to cease.

- My ex best friend, she never quite knew how to choose guys, she always went for the ones that would never turn her way, the ones who obviously wouldn't care about her, not because of her, but because they were really careless guys, walking red flags. - I told him, I couldn't remember where exactly the conversation started but we were talking about nice people picking shitty people to date.

- What about you? - he asked

- Me? I barely even like guys, I mean I do, but I'm really picky actually, I don't allow myself to fall for cold people, I wouldn't forgive myself if I took interest in someone rude, I try so hard to take care of myself so I either stay alone that way or I find someone who makes me feel better, who knows how to take care of me, after all we chase happiness, I think a caring person could do that, someone gentle who isn't scared of emotions or who at least is open to face that fear with me by their side.

- I get it, it's hard to get by if you don't have emotional support, a partner should be able to provide that support, yeah. Did you ever... find someone like that?

- Yeah, in the past I did and even now I do know someone more than ideal... I guess my ex partners when I was young were going through a soft phase tho... I guess everyone has an emotional limit they were scared to cross... once I found that barrier the relationship stoped evolving, reached a dead end and so there was nothing left for me anymore and I left, plus, you know, cheating, long distance, a bunch of stuff really... it wasn't meant to be and I'm okay with that.

- What about that someone right now?

Silence ruled for about 3 seconds before I knew what to say. That someone right now is him. Ever since I've known him feels like he's the only man ever, but I don't think I'd tell him that, not soon anyways.

- What about 'em?

- What's that person like? What makes you trust they're any different from your exes?

- Sometimes I fear they're not, but I set the bar really high and I reset it constantly, to make sure I'm seeing it right, sometimes they seem so perfect to me that I wonder what good have i done in my past life to deserve to be around such a bright person. Of course they make mistakes too, but even the way they deal with them is so... mature, it's so easy to just solve things communicating, it's insane to me. Then I remember it's probably because they're eventually gonna leave me too, or just not reciprocate my feelings and after they break my heart I'll probably loose all hope in love, be heart broken for two years until I decide I'm gonna focus on myself again... it's a cycle after heartbreak, but with this person I'm really scared, because they mean more. I'm way too deep in before I've even expressed my feelings, it's gonna be devastating. - I'm rambling, the wine made me do it.

- What makes you think they wouldn't like you back tho?

- I'm not sure I just... it would be too good to be true and it's complicated... he's amazing and I'm just not sure if he'd be into me, I mean, I think I'm lovable and I think I'd be a great lover, I just don't know if I'm his type or if he'd consider me. We have a bit of an age gap, I'm not someone who's typically pretty or specially good looking, I have my charms but I have no idea if that's enough for him to be in love. It's complicated with each others work too... - I notice chan's gaze on me, he has his head leaned on his hand on the table and he's looking at me with bright eyes, eyes that look tired and a little drunk but somehow, he manages to look at me in a way that makes me feel adored, I don't know why you have to make me feel so much love, Bang Chan - Why are you looking at me like that?

- You have no idea how other people perceive you, do you? - he ignored your question, probably because of his drunk-ish drowsy state - Everyone I know likes you, see, you're a naturally kind and caring person, you're attentive to people's needs, you make sure everyone feels comfortable around you... that's so appreciated by everyone. I think you're exceptional y/n, you have this charismatic way of existing, a refreshing and comfy presence everyone can feel, but to me... it feels like home. You feel like home y/n. So... I have no idea who that person is but I sure as hell know they'd be more than lucky to have you as a partner and they're definitely dumb if they let you go.

- Are you dumb? - my heart's pounding quicker as I'm about to do something I didn't plan on doing ever.

- Huh? No, why w-

- Because that person is you... I like you, Chan. In a more-than-friends way - I interrupt him quickly before I lose my newly found courage.

Chan could've sworn his heart stopped for a few seconds. Suddenly sobriety hit him like a truck. It was the alcohol that made you say that, he thought, but he wished it was true and you didn't drink enough to be lying about this kind of stuff, you had a full on conversation and you seemed pretty sober.

- Y-y/n are you sober? - he tries to navigate through the situation.

- Oh my... yeah I am, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, it just rolled out of my tongue. I'm sorry... - you said as you panicked and tried to go back inside, regret filling up all your organs.

"I messed up" your brain keeps repeating as desperation starts entering your body, until Chan grabbed your hand, stopping you from leaving.

- Wait! You don't need to apologize, I'm glad you told me... You didn't think I'd say all that about you if I didn't like you as well, did you? - he asks suggestively.

- I don't know - you blush as you realize what he's getting at - You're just so nice to everyone, I didn't make a big deal out of it.

- Well, you should've made it a big deal, the biggest deal actually because I've been trying really hard to show you how I feel these past few days and you were so clueless I thought you were purposefully ignoring the signs because you didn't like me back.

- I'm sorry Channie, I just didn't want to assume stuff and get heartbroken if it wasn't true.

-Well it is true, so you don't need to worry anymore. I really like you too, y/n. And I've wanted to say it for a while too, I was just wondering if it was a good idea since you work with us, but I can't contain my feelings anyways... you always treat me so softly and you look after the kids really well... It just feels like you were made to be by my side, you're the embodiment of the person I've always dreamed to be with, and these past few days with the kids and you... it just felt like we were the perfect family you know? I don't think I could be without you by my side anymore... - he stops, he's been staring at your eyes the whole time and now they're starting to water.

How could you not cry when he's saying the things you thought you'd only ever hear in dreams?

- Why are you crying sweetheart? - he whispered, as he wipes a tear with his thumb, the other hand holding your hand as he stands closer every second.

- It's just... I'm so... happy - you smile through your tears - I'm so happy to hear that, you said it in such a beautiful way too... I feel exactly the same, it's like I've gained a family with you guys but you... I've grown really attached to you, feels like some parts of you are tangled in my heart in ways I couldn't tear apart if I wanted to... I'm drawn to you and when I'm with you it's comfortable, blissful, it's right. You're so good to me, it's unbelievable, but it's true, and it warms my heart. - you say as your foreheads touch and your smile grows, his eyes showing so much adoration for you, you could melt.

Suddenly you share your first kiss together, a soft yet passionate mix of sensations, and it felt like everything you ever felt around Chan but better.

You stare into each other's eyes, smiling like the little lovely goofballs you both were, noses touching, ocasional little pecks filled with giggles because you were whipped for each other.

- So this means we're exclusive lovers now, yeah? - he asks with a blushing face, a very silent giggle and a huge, uncontrollable smile.

- Definitely, yeah - you answer biting your lip until eventually you let out the largest smile you ever had.

Needless to say, you didn't leave that balcony to go to sleep that evening. In fact, you two watched the sunrise kissing and cuddling, talking about the feelings you had for each other, when they started, why you liked each other, covered by a blanket, not wanting to let go of each other now that you were openly romantic.

Han found you both sound asleep, you on chan's lap, head on his neck as his arms wrapped around you gently, on a chair in the middle of the morning. He obviously called all the members to watch you two as they assumed you two finally got together. All of them saw it coming, Chan wouldn't shut up about you and had written what could be an entire album about you.

They were happy at least you'd be around more often to cook your delicious food. And you both blushed really hard once you woke up to lot's of teasing from the kids, it was fine tho, you liked it just like this, it was home.

[joaquinwhorres]

Stitches & Blankets (Joaquin Torres x Reader)

SUMMARY ››››› You find Joaquin Torres after he tries to stop the bank robbery.

WORD COUNT ››››› 3,000-ish

WARNINGS ››››› language

A/N ››››› OK, why are there not more Torres fics? I'm legitimately confused about that. Also, I realized after writing half of this down, that a bank was robbed, so there were probably still police on the scene and the reader'd probably be speaking Swiss-German but uh...fan fiction.

There was a body in the street, which was not what you expected to see coming out to your car.

You'd heard the wailing sirens and shouting and the thunderous footsteps--they're what kept you pressed against the side of the building for the past ten minutes, avoiding the chaos as much as possible. It wasn't fear that kept you there though, it was experience. You'd become used to the quick riots and little skirmishes for resources over the past few months. You knew it was better to stay out of the way, wait out the storm, and then go about your life. They became nothing more than minor nuisances. Bits of unrest that were there and then gone in the next instance. They weren't supposed to leave a body behind.

"Meine Fresse," you murmured, racing forward to the person lying supine on the stones, arms out to their sides, the white of their sneakers reflecting the street lights. As you drew closer, you saw it was a man--about your age with blood around his eye and nose and lip. For a brief second, you wondered if he'd been trampled, but he definitely would have looked worse for wear based on how many people you'd heard.

"Bist du okay?" Your voice was loud as you checked over the rest of his body. He didn't seem to have any other injury, and there wasn't any blood under his head, so you decided it was safe enough to gently shake him.

He didn't rouse.

So, instead you knelt your ear down to his lips, laying your hand flat on his chest. You felt your hand rise before you heard the slow intake of breath, and you rocked back onto your knees. He was breathing. He was alive.

Still, something gnawed at the back of your mind, urging your fingers up under his jaw, gently pressing into his neck. It was only then that you felt a surge of relief. His pulse was there, and it was strong. He was really alive.

And then you remembered that you should probably call 112.

All things considered, it was a quick phone call--the operator seemed to know your exact location and vaguely what had happened as you explained where you were and how you found him. Instead, most of the conversation was spent listening to their instructions to roll him into a recovery position and check for any signs of life-threatening injuries. When they told you that you could hang up because they were close, you did so and found the man blinking at you.

"Hoi," you greeted soothingly. "Wie heisst du?"

He groaned, attempting to roll onto his back once more. You reached out a hand stopping him, and he looked up at you confused.

"Comment t'appelles tu?" You attempted, hoping he wasn't an Italian or Romansch speaker. You hardly knew enough of either language to tell him you couldn't speak it.

He winced and lifted his hand to his face. "Shit."

English. Good.

"What's your name?" you asked, and his eyes seemed to focus on you once more, this time a spark of recognition or maybe just awareness lighting up behind them.

"Joaquin," he informed, and you released an arm, allowing him to finally roll onto his back like he wanted. He had a strong American accent, even through the gravelly voice of barely regained consciousness. "Did they get away?"

"Ähm," you looked around at the empty street. "Yes?" you guessed.

He let out a heavy sigh. "I'm gonna have to call some people."

"I think you should wait for the ambulance."

"Yeah," he agreed, the word breathy and pained. "That's probably a good idea."

"What happened?" you asked, and he raised his eyebrows, looking back at you.

"Flag Smashers."

"I didn't think the Flag Smashers hurt people."

"I'm just lucky, I guess," he answered, and you smiled, letting out a small laugh. He offered a small smile as well.

You could hear the siren now, the faint sound winding its way through the curving streets of Zürich and towards the two of you. Your head turned towards the sound, as if you could trace it back to the ambulance, and gauging the distance. "They should be close," you said, returning your attention to Joaquin.

"What's your name?" he asked, and the question surprised you. Then again, if the two of you were stuck waiting for an ambulance at nine o'clock on a Sunday night, maybe a bit of small talk shouldn't have been so surprising.

"Y/N," you answered, and he repeated it.

"You're very pretty, Y/N."

The laugh escaped you on instinct, although to call it a laugh might not be the best descriptor. It was more of a surprised noise, partially exhale and a tinge of amusement added through the slight smile at the corner of your mouth.

"Thank you," you said. "You are very pretty too."

And he was, underneath the dark red and rapidly purpling injuries. He had a strong jaw and kind eyes, and even the hint of a smile he'd given earlier had made something in your chest constrict.

"I don't feel so pretty," he responded, and this time your laugh was more of a laugh, and he reached up to feel at his face. You took hold of his hand, bringing it back down and trapping it in yours.

"Pretty enough for me to hold your hand," you joked, hoping to distract him from continuing to poke and prod and break all of the rules and instructions the EMTs had given over the phone.

"Well, I got that goin' for me, I guess," he said, letting his hand relax into yours.

Headlights bathed you in a warm yellow light as flashing blue lights bounced off the surrounding buildings, illuminating the rest of the street.

There were some shouts as the doors of the ambulance opened and people poured out, running towards you and Torres. The paramedic crowded around quickly, a blonde bearded man asking  quick questions in German.

"Er spricht Englisch," you explained, and he nodded, switching languages.

It became apparent as police officers pulled up and flooded out of their cars that you were no longer needed. You stood up, backing away and letting Joaquin's hand slip through yours.

"You're not going to stay and hold my hand?" Joaquin called out to you, and you let a smile curl across your lips. Around you, people were starting to come out onto the street, lured by the sounds of the sirens and lack of shouting and general ruckus. Your eyes fell back on Joaquin who was still looking up at you, even as a paramedic flashed a light into his face.

"Maybe he can hold your hand," you said, gesturing to a paramedic who had slid into your place. Joaquin gave half a smile as you turned and left him in the hands of the professionals.

As you rounded the corner, arms full of blankets, the last person you expected to almost run into was Joaquin.

Part of the surprise was the kind that generally accompanied running into someone outside of the context you know them in. A larger part of the surprise was the fact that he was not in the hospital.

Instead, he stood before you, face swollen, bloodied and bruised, with the small white bandages of butterfly stitches above his right eye. He blinked at you, as if he was caught in the headlights.

"Pretty Joaquin," you said, surprise ringing through every part of your voice.

"Y/N."

At least his memory wasn't affected by whatever the Flag Smashers had done to him. His response time was also quicker than it had been two and a half hours ago, and he seemed all in all more present and less hazy. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here." Your own surprise and mild confusion had not quite worn off. "What are you doing here?"

For a variety of reasons, he was not the typical person who stumbled into the Zürich GRC Refugee Camp. He was both too young and too old and far more put together than a normal incomer. He didn't have that haunted look behind his eyes that made your heart wrench. He looked battered and bruised but ok.

"I need a place to stay."

Your eyes ran over his form, from his fluffy dark hair and banged up face to his bright white trainers. You lifted an eyebrow. "The hospital wouldn't take you?"

He shook his head with a sheepish grin. "It's just a broken orbital. Not much else they can do for it." Your eyebrows didn't lower and he gave half a laugh. "Trust me I'm as shocked as you are."

"I'll need you to fill out some paperwork."

He winced. "Any way that could wait until tomorrow? My head is killing me."

You stared intently at his face. Over the past four months of working at the GRC camp, you'd gotten good at reading people. You had an eye for knowing who was going to be trouble down the line and who would need some extra comfort and care. You knew who to push about their stories, and who to wait for--to be there as they slowly unraveled their tale.

So while there was a lot about pretty boy Joaquin that just didn't add up, you could see in his eyes that he could be trusted to stay the night. Just not here.

"You can't stay here without going through intake," you shook your head. "But if you really need a place to sleep, you can come with me."

"Really?" Joaquin asked, turning to follow you as you set back off towards your car, and you nodded.

"It's nothing special--just my couch. But I've been told it's very comfy."

Joaquin faltered a step, slowing down. "You're sure you want me coming and bloody-ing up your couch? I could just stay here and leave before--"

"I'll put down some papers," you said jokingly in an attempt to cut off the subject of him staying at the camp.

"Ok," he said, his voice distracted before there was a quick shuffle of footsteps and he caught back up with you. "Ok, thanks."

The two of you arrived at your car shortly thereafter, Joaquin moving to sit in the passenger seat as you dumped the blankets in the car. You came around to slip into the driver's seat, quickly backing out of the spot and setting off back home.

"So what's with all the blankets?" he asked, pulling his attention from the streets and buildings and back to you.

"We got a late donation tonight," you answered, flicking on your turn signal. "They needed someone here to help organize the drop off and then our washing machine broke, so I have to take work home with me." You smiled at the joke, but he just nodded, leaving you to wonder if maybe your English was off. The next few moments passed in quiet before you checked over at a traffic light to see if he was still awake. He was, but he looked dazed. Maybe he had been telling the truth about his head. You eyed his injuries which looked even worse in the red light. Like his entire right side of his face had been smashed.

"So what brought you to Switzerland?"

It wasn't the question you wanted to ask. You wanted to ask him what had happened with the Flag Smashers--why had they beaten him up so badly. But you weren't sure you were ready for that answer or if he'd even give it. So you asked a question you didn't care if he lied to you about.

"I was looking for someone," he said, and the light turned green, causing you to turn away and focus on your driving rather than him. Still the sentence seemed to end earlier than his thought as you could feel the weight of more words hovering between you. It was a familiar pressure in your ears and your chest, and you'd long grown accustomed to the discomfort.

Like many, Joaquin didn't give the thought words to escape on.

"A refugee?" you asked, and he wobbled his head.

"Yes and no. She survived the Snap."

"She?" A small feeling like a tight wire cord wound its way around your chest and a  warmth of embarrassment flooded the back of your neck. "Your sister? Your wife?"

"No," he shook his head. "My grandmother."

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him look at you for the first time.

"What's her name?  If she came to the camp I should know her."

"Mariana Torres," he answered, and you ran through the array of faces you'd met. There was a Mariana Böschl , but she was old enough to be his mother, not his grandmother.

You shook your head slowly. "I can check the registry tomorrow, but I don't think she's with us."

"Thanks," Joaquin said, looking back out the window at the passing city. "Were you Blipped?"

"No," you shook your head, pulling into your designated parking spot by your apartment. "I was lucky." The two of you climbed out of the car, and he met you by the trunk, pulling the blankets out before you could reach for them.

"Thank you," you said.  And he gave a small grin.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you."

You gestured with your head up the stairs, heading to your third floor apartment.

Joaquin trailed behind you, arms laden with the blankets, waiting patiently as you stopped and opened the door. "Welcome to my home," you greeted, allowing him to enter before you. Your small apartment was dark, and you flicked on the light so that Joaquin could walk further inside without running into a wall or your table. "You can put the blankets by the couch, I'll wash them tomorrow," you instructed, and he did as you suggested before wandering over to the couch.

"I think I have an extra pillow in the closet," you said.

"Great," he thanked, dropping down onto the couch.

It took a few minutes to find the pillow and put a pillowcase on top of it. By the time you walked back out to the living room, the light was still on, and so were his shoes, but he was passed out. You walked over to the sleeping boy, placing the pillow down next to the couch in case he woke up and pulling the blanket over his body, your eyes once more tracing over his injuries.

You would have to speak to Karli about the violence.

[hamliet]

I don't know if you're willing to open up this can of worms again, but aren't Isayama's infamous tweet and blog post at this point like 8/12 years old?

I'm saying this because people *still* consistently bring them up.

And as far as I know nothing else has been dug up? (I've been really looking for stuff and nobody really seems to be able to bring up anything else.)

Not that them being old makes them okay, but I feel like consistency is the key to understanding 'problematic' people.

J. K. Rowling just can't seem to shut the fuck up, your average creepy and wierd streamer dude just can't seem to shut the fuck up.

Companies with shitty work environments and their presidents just can't seem to be able to shut the fuck up.

I think I get the feeling Isayama can at least shut the fuck up.

Idk maybe we get some big crazy news tomorrow about how he's put all of his money into right wing shit or something, but as far as I know he's just planning to build a spa and maybe never draw manga again, right?

He did some philantrophy by auctioning off a sketch for AIDS orphans, I believe?

He also clarified Eren's genocide is supposed to be wrong?

I mean that's what I've found, I'm not even sure how many of these are true.

I'm just curious if anything else has cropped up/if you know.

But I also want to be careful about unnecessary praise.

So I am gonna answer this, but then don't really want more arguments, so asks arguing will be deleted (not on you Anon! This ask is fine, I just don't wanna get into it today).

Here's the thing about the internet: things never go away, and because things are still up, they're timeless. Ish. Even if they have been deleted.

Yeah, these comments are very old. I do genuinely get, however, because of what Japan did in WWII, why people who are directly affected in terms of their families (colonization like... doesn't just end) are not able to move past that. They don't have to. The effects are still felt today. No one has to forgive or move beyond it. I caution against telling people they need to move on from a comment supporting one of the men who participating in the abuse, even if the comment was not about the abuse. People are allowed to talk about their hurt and suspicion. I'll never say they can't.

That said, yes, it's entirely possible Isayama has learned more and realized by now. I hope he has. My guess would be that he has.

And that said, I would like to see each and every westerner who screams about the blog post specifically take a good long look at whether they've ever said good things about any of the founding fathers of America, who like owned slaves, or about other people revered in their country because I sure as hell want to tell you that none of us are innocent in this. None. Zero.

People are raised with different perspectives, and part of growing up means reexamining them. People, even historical people, are complex, and can have done great good and great evil (not saying this dude did any good; I don't know much about him).

Actually, y'know what, Americans should take a damn good look at Unit 731, and maybe have a "hmm" moment about why we as Americans never learn about Unit 731 in school. Like, it's not in any US textbooks. Could it be because the US, as much as we held the Nuremberg Trials for justice for the Holocaust, actually helped Japan get away with Unit 731 and the abuses in Manchuria because we got something out of it? (Spoilers: yes. We helped them get away with it in exchange for information gained from horrific human experiments.)

Maybe even take a look at Winston Churchill, a figure I've always had positive feelings about in history, been raised to revere, and then when once conversing with a Japanese friend, I told a funny story about how someone in my office used a lot of quotes from Churchill to encourage us during the pandemic. My friend, who is a wonderfully kind person, gave me a strange look, and then I realized that someone from a country that had been hit with two nuclear bombs might have a slightly different perspective on officials who authorized it.

The Holocaust allusion is the other Big Thing in SnK and is indefensible. The funny thing is I always get accused of defending this when I've always said it's indefensible and a terrible oversight, just because I don't believe the story is fascist and think it was unconscious rather than an act of conscious bigotry. Not that that makes it excusable or better, because it doesn't, and people can hate the work for that and talk about their hurt all they want. But enjoying the story doesn't inherently make someone bigoted (many Jewish people have spoken out about their love of it; they are just as valid as those offended). Yes, it's privilege sometimes to be able to ignore some things and not others, but... what goes into that is complicated.

We are all limited by our perspectives. If people who say you can't enjoy Harry Potter nowadays because you're financially benefitting Rowling have never or will never again buy chocolate from Nestle or Hershey (which use child slaves), then they can talk. Until then, focus on the planks in your own eyes (I completely get why many people will never enjoy HP again and support them in doing so, even if I continue to derive hope from the stories while acknowledging critique, and I know trans people on both perspectives who are all valid). Everyone has their own limits and compromises. It's important to be aware of them, yes, and to keep pushing for a better world and growing, but no one's getting through this earth pure. It's hard to say this without it sounding like an excuse. Maybe it is. I don't mean it to be. I don't know. I just know that I've never read another story that captures the grief of losing a parent in a way that speaks to me with such comfort like HP did.

Ideals and practice are not always the same thing; we're stumbling through a broken world on broken legs with a broken map. Let's look at the lighthouse (ideals) to chart our courses, and use our broken tools to haul ourselves forward, not focus on telling others their tools are bad. People screaming "you're a bad person if you ignore X!" are in sore need of a mirror. We should all work on ourselves.

[ravxnstudies]

research proposal 101

how to write one and not die trying!! a guide by me.

1. find something you're willing to work on for months/years at ungodly hours. this project will take up a LOT of your time, so make sure you're getting into something you won't end up hating with every bit of your soul, m'kay?

1.1. if you're out of ideas, read a bunch of papers about a general topic you're interested in and find a niche. this can be anything from "this is neat and hasn't been properly explored yet" to "professor dumbfuck phd argues this but they're wrong and i'm gonna drag them to the depths of hell to prove it"

2. do a, and i cannot stress this enough, THOROUGH reading of the previous literature. i don't care if it's 5 or 70 papers, but make sure you understand them, because you WILL need them to make your case.

2.1. personally though, i recommend skimming through google scholar, reading a bunch of abstracts and picking what will/won't be useful. keep if brief but precise. you do NOT wanna read fifty papers on the same topic before you write your proposal (let alone your actual paper) because by the end of it, your brain will be burnt. out.

3. do you have a hypothesis? fantastic! write that down.

4. do you not have a hypothesis? okay, no problem! what do you want to get from this research? what do you want to learn?

4.1. come up with one broad-ish question

4.1.1. got the question? fantastic! now come up with two or three more specific questions based on the broad-ish question

4.2. come up with another broad question

4.2.1. come up with three more specific questions

4.3. repeat process a couple more times

4.4. try to come up with objectives that align with the questions you just wrote down.

e.g.:

Que.: how are neologisms formed in this context?

Obj.: -to identify the linguistic processes taking place in the formation of these neologisms, and

-to identify patterns that may explain the prevalence of certain processes over others.

5. onto the method!

5.1. ask yourself, how do you plan to conduct your study?

5.1.1. please, PLEASE, think of a REALISTIC, PLAUSIBLE way that fits your budget, your time availability, your resources and your will to live

5.1.2. got an idea for how to carry it out? great! break it down into little steps and write it down

5.1.3. don't have an idea? no problem! ASK. YOUR. RESEARCH SUPERVISOR. FOR HELP.

5.1.4. no, you're not bothering them, they're your supervisor for a reason. talk. to. them.

6. i assume you're writing this proposal for a) a job, b) funding, or c) to pass a class. you need someone's approval. that means you need to CONVINCE THEM that what you're proposing is IMPORTANT. that it has a PURPOSE. now, i don't give a goddamn shit if your study is about the colour of unicorn faeces; you need to figure out a way to convince the Important Superior That Makes Decisions™ that the unicorn faeces you want to study are of the UTMOST importance to the scientific community. just write something like "though equine faeces have been studied in the past, little research has been carried out into unicorn faeces specifically. this study seeks to fill that gap. we believe that this introductory taxonomy of unicorn faeces will provide much-needed knowledge about fantastic creatures' gastrointestinal functionings and illnesses thereto related. we hope, thus, to shed some light on this so-far unexplored yet puzzling area." that'll do. you just gotta make it SOUND nice and convincing.

7. once you have all of this info, GO TO YOUR SUPERVISOR. ask them for a second opinion. ask for ideas on how to organize it. don't be afraid to ask them for constructive criticism, because that criticism might just get you the Important People in Charge™'s approval for your study.

8. remember all the bibliography you've consulted so far? yeah, start writing down that shit BEFORE you write your proposal, because the deadline WILL come sooner than you expect it to, and trust me, you do not want to be typing a reference list on six cans of redbull at 11:40 pm. speaking from experience.

9. if you're struggling to get down the first few words, look at other papers in the same field. see how those authors do it. figure out the structure they use. do NOT copy, but use it as a model if needed.

10. fuck around and find out

hope that helps!

🩷if you like my content, feel free to support me on ko-fi!🩷

HOW TF DO YOU WRITE A RESEARCH PROPOSAL?

[gggafie]

STORY TIME!!!!

(Dream)

I call it 'The Ladder' cuz... you'll find out.

(Also this is all I can remember pls don't sue me)

It's starts out where I'm at a friend's house, and it had a kind of B.A.T.I.M. vibe to it due to the pallet choices (Yellow and black). I was staying the night at a friend's house, not a friend I have irl though. It's just a kind of dream where you know people's roles.

I notice a red-ish hue glow in the corner of my eye.

Me: What's that over there?

Friend: What?

Me: That.

I pointed to the ladder.

Friend: Oh, that's our cursed Red ladder. Don't touch it.

Me: why not?

Friend: Uh... 'Cause it's cursed? Duh?

Me: Curses aren't real, they're just made to scare people.

(I walk over to it)

Friend: okay, but I'm warning you.

(I touch it, but then neon goo came out of my eyes and mouth, unable to stop it from happening. Neon green is the most used color in it)

Friend: I told you so.

(I woke up irl, but then I went back to sleep somehow. I then continued my dream at an amusement park. I was in the bathroom though, trying to wash all the neon away, but it kept endlessly coming out my face.)

(I'm not sure what happened next, but I was back at my friends house in a hallway. I was running because something was chasing me, not sure what though because I didn't look behind me. Next thing I knew I was stuck in a bundle of pipes. The thing that was chasing me was getting closer, I could tell.)

(Once I was able to get out of the pipes, I found the ladder again.)

Me (mind): I'm already cursed, so if I climb down, it couldn't get worse... Right?

(I climb down the Glowing red ladder. It took a long time to get to the bottom of it, but while it was happening, the ladder lost a bit of its glow in the pitch dark, and tiny black spiders came in colonies all over my face and body, only to get past me thought.)

(I make it to the bottom of the ladder, it lost alot of glow, since it used to be half blinding to look at)

(At the bottom, even though it was very dark, I saw a very HUGE spider. Like the one from Harry Potter? Yeah. Then I woke up.)

Hope yall enjoyed my dream-story!

[hands-around-your-throat]

Heyy, found the asks list now hehe and uh okay i selected a lot of questions so just like elaborate as much as you want but long answers preferred please 👉👈

Also my notes app might've messed with the numbers but whatever

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

7. what was your life like last year?

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

15. personality description

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?

17. opinion on insecurities.

24. height

28. i’ll love you if…

31. 3 random facts

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

35. favourite subject

50. something i’m talented at

(Also i figured why stay on anon now so hi again :3)

6. is it hard for you to get over someone? Erm.. I guess yeah. Like I mentioned in the other ask I've not really ever been in love, so I don't know what that's like. But I've had strong crushes in the past and it took me a while to get over them fully. But smaller crushes or infatuations I can usually get past if I realised they're not really vibing in that way.

7. what was your life like last year? Honestly, not too different than now. Covid meant working from home most of the time and so that hasn't really changed since. I supposed biggest differences now is that I moved out of my parents home in January of this year to stay with a friend whilst the house I was buying was being built and now I'm in my own home! Oh and making this blog was a big change too and has helped me get more confident with my appearance, though there's still a long way to go there.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings? In general, no. I can lie pretty effortlessly honestly, for better or worse, but when it's something/someone I truly care about my feelings flow out pretty easily.

15. personality description Generally quiet, nerdy, reserved. Pretty anxious and lowkey depressed (🤙)

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't? Not really! I'm usually pretty open about everything and even tho I know it might hurt someone's feelings I'll still tell them, in the nicest way possible of course. There's no point keeping things to yourself if it's something that affects multiple people.

17. opinion on insecurities. I feel like everyone has them and you should do your best to acknowledge them and let people know that it's okay to think those things. Just support them and eventually I'm sure they'll come to see whatever they're insecure about is pretty minor in the grand scheme of life.

24. height Like 5'7" ish? idk for sure

28. i’ll love you if… Already answered this one.

31. 3 random facts 1. I've swam with sharks and manta ray (is the plural manta rays??) 2. Birmingham, UK has more miles of canals than Venice, Italy. (less individual canals, just longer ones) AND purely because of the nature of my blog I'll make the last one a lewd fact 3. I once masturbated and came like 12 times in one day (exact number I'm not sure of but it was defo over 10 and somewhere in the ball park of 12)

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? Mainly guys I think, definitely in person at least, but I feel like I get along better with girls than guys.

35. favourite subject At school and stuff? Definitely IT / Computing. I ended up doing a degree in computer science after all 😅

50. something i’m talented at Erm... I don't particularly consider myself talented at anything?? I'm a decent writer, and I can memorise things pretty easily?

[clairecrive]

"Rock my world" - Sirius Black x reader

A/n: I was thinking of making this a series but idk, let me know what you think. The band in the picture, Maneskin, are my inspiration for the marauders' band music and aesthetic. Check them out cause they're really good. They're going to represent Italy at the next Eurovision contest.

Here's their Instagram and Spotify.

Tags: Muggle AU, so ofc no magic, no Hogwarts, Marauders in a rock band, no Peter but Regulus instead, jily

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.2K ish

Summary: When y/n finally agrees to check out this band that her best friend was always talking about, she's in for a pleasant surprise and one hell of a night.

It had all started in the cheesiest and most cliscé of ways, really. Y/n had made a bet which had made you go out of your comfort zone that one night and for your bravery, you were rewarded with the most amazing boyfriend ever. It sounds like a story out of a rom-com or a romance novel, doesn't it? Well, yeah, it felt like a main character moment but, unlike what we see in those stories, it wasn't always fun and games.

But let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Y/n's best friend Jules had been nagging her about this rock band who was apparently the new sensation of the year according to her, for the longest time. So, one Friday night, when Jules had informed her that that very band was playing in a bar not very far from her workplace, she agreed to go for drinks there.

Worst case scenario, she thought, the music will be terrible but at least I get to tease Jules about it.

Still clothed in the floral dress she had chosen this morning, but adding a few glittery touches and graphic eyeliner to make her look more nighty, y/n headed towards said bar where Jules was already waiting for her.

"Finally," she huffed when y/n rounded the corner and entered her field of vision. 

"Sorry, it was my turn to close tonight," y/n shot her an apologetic smile before hooking their arms.

They made their way inside looking for a place to sit. The bar was already crowded but not in an unusual way. Maybe it was the hour or the fact that it was a weeknight, y/n didn't know but felt grateful that it wasn't packed. She really wasn't a fan of crowded places.

They got their drinks and caught up as they usually would about their week. They were almost finished when the band walked up the stage and music started playing. Even before the first note, one look at their outfits made clear what kind of music they were going to play. 

They had an interesting aesthetic, y/n had to admit. They wore the same colour but each member had their own style. The band was made up of four guys, the bassist had long straight hair and he looked a lot like the singer who instead had curly hair, the drummer had short curly light brown hair and y/n couldn't see what he was wearing past a black vest while the guitarist had black hair that was all over the place and wore glasses. 

They had an androgynous aesthetic, each of them with beautiful makeup in tones of black and grey and the ones y/n could see clearly were wearing a sort of body. They looked stunning. Y/n had decided she liked them based on this alone. She had to admire anyone who had the guts to express themselves freely especially when it was in such an open and unapologetic way of going against gender norms.

After half an hour, the music stopped and after the singer wished everyone goodnight and they all climbed down. As she expected, they played rock music ranging from soft rock edging pop to hard rock that made her think a lot of ACDC. Y/n wasn't an expert in music but she had liked what she heard and wouldn't mind listening more from them. She was sure that she was going to catch some of their songs on the radio in the future. 

However, Jules picked up the conversation where they had left it before the concert and decided that it was the time where she'd complain about her recent love interest. Each of their weekly meetings had one of this moment. Unfortunately, it looked like Jules didn't have a lot of luck when it came to guys. And as it always would, she wondered if she was the problem asking y/n if the reason every one of her relationships failed because she was unlovable. As if.

"That's not true, I truly believe that you can learn to love anyone. Lest you get to know them, of course."

"Of course you'd say something like that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you truly believe that, then you're not going to say no to this." Jules wriggles her eyebrows suggestively and y/n knew that the night is either about to become very interesting or about to go very wrong.

"The expression on your face is telling me that I should definitely say no to what you're about to say."

"Oh c'mon, it's just an innocent dare. Nothing too crazy, I promise."

"Which is?"

"You see that guy leaning on the bar? Long black hair with the black leather jacket?" Y/n turned around indulging her friend and eventually spotted the guy she was talking about. She took her time to look at him until she realized something that made her whip around to face Jules again.

"You mean the singer of the band?" y/n asked incredulously.

"Isn't he handsome?" Jules smiled wide completely ignoring the look y/n was giving her already knowing what was going through her friends' mind. "I want you to go to him and ask him out."

"What?" 

"C'mon", Jules complained reaching out to y/n over the table, "didn't you say that it was possible to love anyone? Can't you see yourself loving him?"

"That's not the point," y/n exclaimed still not believing that her friend was suggesting something so outrageous. "Can you see him loving me?" Because that man over there had "heart breaker" spelt all over him. And okay, y/n had to admit that this was a rush judgment she was making and it wasn't exactly fair but there was no way that a guy like him could be interested in a girl like her.

And yes, we could stay here and discuss all the reasons why that statement is wrong but still, if she were to put herself out there -something that was not like her at all- she wasn't going to go over someone so out of reach for her. And that was that.

"Listen, do you remember that video you sent me the other day?" Jules squared her shoulders, now looking fully serious at y/n. Unfortunately, y/n did remember the video Jules was talking about. She would have never guessed it would come back and bit her in the ass otherwise she'd never sent it.

Sighing, y/n looked down at the drink in her hands and thought about it. The video basically encouraged the viewer to go up to what they believed was the most beautiful person in the room and tell them exactly that. It may sound a little silly but at the time y/n had appreciated the sentiment. Going out of one's comfort zone. Challenging yourself. Because, what was the worst that could happen? That person shotting you down? That didn't sound life-threatening. Now though, y/n wasn't so sure. 

"Worst case scenario, just tell him I'm calling you and head back here." Jules offered, almost as if she could tell exactly what her best friend was thinking.

Looking at her best friend, something snapped in her. Jules was right. What's the worst that could happen? She already knew that the guy was going to shoot her down. She was prepared. It was a dare, a silly thing that could give her a story to tell to her nephews one day. 

What the hell, y/n thought squaring her shoulders. 

"You know what?" she downed the rest of her drink and got up from her seat, "I'm doing it." Looking in the reflection of the tissue box on the table to check how she looked, she fixed her smudged lipstick and ruffed her hair before nodding solemnly at Jules and turned around.

As she made her way to the bar, she could hear Jules cheering on her fueling her sudden confidence. 

The man of the hour was there where she saw him last. Her steps faltered as she realized that she had no idea how to approach him. What was she going to say? Oh my god, she was totally going to make a fool of herself. If she was not going to die for his rejection, she sure is going to die of embarrassment. 

She was almost about to turn around and abort the mission when his eyes met hers.

Well, fuck. There was no way she was going to back down now.

She regained her confidence and smiled at him while closing the distance between them. She smiled at him. Who was she? Did someone drug her drink?

He smiled back at her, turning so that he'd be facing her once she reached him and she almost stopped to pinch herself to see if she was hallucinating or something.

"Hey," she said once she stood in front of him. Good, she thought, let's start with something simple.

"Hi," he smiled back at her.  

Okay, okay, it's going good, isn't it? He hasn't ignored me, that must mean something, right? Yes, that he wasn't a rude asshole was her sobering thought.

"So," y/n started trying to take to time while she figured what to say, "I saw a video the other day," was what she ended up with. 

The handsome stranger lifted his eyebrows in amusement and took a sip of his beer. Y/n took that as a "go on then".

"There was this woman that basically dared anyone watching to go up to the person who they thought was the most beautiful person in the room and tell them exactly that." Well, let's just get it out of the way, I guess, she thought. "So, here I am," she added as if it wasn't clear enough.

However, as she saw the man's smile widen, y/n suddenly realized how really screwed she was. This man was way out of her league.

"Well, now that I'm here, I should also mention that you've really good at what you do too." 

"Not to sound rude or anything," he spoke for the first time that evening and y/n had already decided that he had been the gods' favourite in another life before he opened his mouth but now? as he heard his low and raspy voice? she was sure he had been at least a demi-god, "did you lost a bet or something?" he asked, his grey eyes boring into hers like he was looking into her soul.  

Who was this guy? and why was she feeling like this? Get a grip, y/n, she scolded herself.

"Is it that obvious?" y/n's shoulders slouched as some of the tension left them, a nervous laugh leaving her mouth. 

"I saw you downing your drink like it was some kind of bravery potion before you came here," he explained with a light scroll of his shoulders. "Not that I mind though," he added with what should be an illegal smirk. Smug.

"Yeah, I'm sure you've heard it countless time only tonight." Let's joke on it, she thought, there's still a chance I can come clean out of this mess. 

He chuckled and, not leaving her eyes, he slipped a hand through his loose hair pushing it back. "I meant that if you hadn't come I would probably found an excuse to come up to you too." He leaned back onto the bar looking completely unbothered, not as if he had said something that made her feel on fire. 

"Looks like I've to thank your friend for my luck." Looking over your shoulder, he held one of his hands up and lightly waving at Jules, y/n figured.

"Yeah, let's not tell her that or I will never hear the end of it." Rolling her eyes, y/n also leaned on her arm resting on the bar next to him. Whether it was the fact that all the cards were on the table or that what he said meant that he had to somewhat like her, she felt more relaxed than a couple of minutes ago.

"Before I make this solemn oath, I think it would be appropriate to know your name, don't you think?"

"It's y/n," she held her hand up for him to shake. However, he had something else in mind since when he took hold of her hand he turned it and held it up to his lips to leave a soft kiss on it. Y/n  almost rolled her eyes at the gesture if it wasn't for his eyes. They didn't move from hers and she found that she didn't want to stop looking at him. Like she was in a trance. Yes, he was handsome, even more so up close, so of course he was nice to look at but that wasn't why. It's the way his eyes glimmered as they watched her, the gentleness with which he was holding her hand, the softness of his lips on her skin. What would they feel like on her lips, she wondered.

"I'm Sirius." 

And that's how it all started. A silly video sent almost automatically to her best friend and an outrageous bet made y/n's night definitely interesting. To her luck though, Sirius became a permanent presence and not a one-night sensation.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Tagging: @seldomabsent

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 1 for the first time. Random thoughts.

This show is kind of nice because I have no memories of the original She-Ra show, or even any of He-Man, honestly. I'm not sure if I ever watched the original, so I have no frame of reference for how the series is "supposed" to be. I can just take it and judge it as is.

Of the bat, all I know is that supposedly She-Ra and Catra get together as a romantic couple later, but I'm also a huge My Hero Academia fan and the fandom around me ships every character with every other character, so for all I know that might just be shipper wishful thinking I've been seeing and hearing. Given fandoms for Gravity Falls, Thor, and Supernatural ship even siblings together, I've learned not to trust anything except for what I see in the series for myself.

By the way, this isn't a review, just random thoughts and comments I'm having as I'm going through season 1 for the first time.

Episodes 1 and 2: Right off, I really like Catra's "No duh" response to Adora about the truth of the horde. She knows they've been lying to them and have been doing terrible things, she just doesn't care. If she and Adora play their cards right they could end up being the ones in charge and then they'd have all that power. Not necessarily to make things better but enough to where they could do whatever and live however they want. That's a good build for an antagonist. Not ignorant to the fact what they're doing is wrong, just simply so selfish that they don't care.

Episode 3: It really feels like there was no good reason why Glimmer didn't just outright introduce Adora to her mother and every reason she should have known it was a bad idea to try and hide her for a surprise. Being a former horde soldier she'd probably get treated with hostility if Glimmer brought her to the front gate but you'd almost guarantee Adora would get arrested or outright killed if she got caught while no one else knew she was there.

On the other side, we have Hordak being pretty intelligent in promoting Catra. He probably knows Shadow Weaver already doesn't like him, so it's not like he's losing anything making her upset with him, and it's clear she favors Adora way more than Catra, so that little bit of advancement towards Catra probably goes a long way in earning her loyalty to him and a person on the inside with Shadow Weaver.

Also, I'm not the only one who saw Madam Razz and immediately thought Adora had found her Yoda, right?

Episode 4: I don't know how it was in the original She-Ra and He-Man series but I kind of like She-Ra being this title from legend. Adora is not the first She-Ra, given what Razz was talking about with a Mara, so instead of being something new, impressing everyone with abilities they've never seen before, and creating the legend, Adora is placed in a position WAY over her head where she's having to live up to what came before her.

Episode 5: Calling it now, as long as her personality is genuine I think Scorpia is going to be one of my favorite characters in this show. She's...endearing, I think is the best word. She's like a mix of Kronk and a nicer Shego.

For a little bit I thought Mermista was voiced by the same actress who played Poison Ivy in the Harley Quinn animated series. She's not but they do have the same kind of Daria-ish inflections, thus by confusion. Given the prom episode, Sea Hawk feels kind of like her Kite Man.

Episode 6: Okay, now it's between Scorpia and Entrapta who are likely to be my favorites by the end of this. She's fun and quirky.

Episode 7: Quite the lore drop. Shadow Weaver was once a Mystacor sorceress known as Light Spinner. I like to imagine we'll get more on that later. Her haunting Adora reminded me of the Teen Titans' episode where Robin was similarly haunted by Slade. This didn't go as far as that but that's probably for the best, since TT had two and a half seasons to build that dynamic up with Robin and Slade while we're only now halfway through the first season.

Episode 8: Well dang. Again, I don't know for sure if Adora and Catra do end up together but boy do I buy why they're shipped together after that dance. Also, good on Bow for standing up for himself. It's clear that he'll always be Glimmer's friend and this won't change that but that doesn't mean he has to just accommodate her. I understand where her issues stem from but I am still glad he gave her a reality check. It helps him feel a little more like his own character.

Also, another nice little bit of lore and worldbuilding. Scorpia's a princess, the horde landed where her people lived, and they seemed to join them willingly.

Episode 9: Surprisingly don't have a lot to say about this other than I don't buy for a second that Entrapta is dead (EDIT: She's not). This was mostly action.

Episode 10: Not going to lie, this one kind of annoyed me a little, at least the first half. The conversation between Glimmer and her mother saved it a bit. It was a bit of a trifecta. You have the alliance breaking apart, saying that the loss of Entrapta only happened because they were all together...even though Entrapta only "died" because of her own machine obsession that caused her to deliberately walk back into the purging chamber. You have Entrapta who might be turning to the horde's side because she feels abandoned by the other princesses...even though they thought she was dead, and again it was her fault they got separated. And you have Glimmer refusing to tell her mother that Shadow Weaver's dark magic has caused her powers to go on the fritz and is causing her great pain. It just feels like none of this would be an issue if most of these people would stop being self-absorbed for three seconds and talk like any normal person would. It feels very CW drama, like something I'd see in a bad season of Arrow or The Flash. The only person whose issues I buy is Adora, who is basically a soldier who was never properly raised to deal with emotion or loss and is already struggling with the burden of being She-Ra, the legendary savior. I get why she's beating down on herself for not being able to do more even if nothing that happened was her fault.

Episode 11: JEEEEEEEEEZZZZ, that was such a good episode! Focused entirely on Adora and Catra and their past together. Like, just showing someone this episode alone could probably get them to want to watch the series. That was everything you needed to know about their dynamic and history together.

Also, that moment when Catra and her past self are looking at each other, while obviously Catra takes the opposite lesson, it reminded me of this fanart I'd once seen of Jason Todd, the Red Hood, looking at his past self as Robin. The past says to the future "You ruined everything". Catra could be happy but, ironically for someone who hates Shadow Weaver, she's probably going to be a lot like her, sacrificing everything for power and ambition.

Given the way she looked, I'm guessing Shadow Weaver is either addicted to the power of the Black Garnet or she suffered some kind of past injury and its power is the only thing keeping her going. Or both.

Episode 12: I'll be honest, Swiftwind being able to talk kind of gobsmacked and I needed a moment to recover. What a great voice they chose for that character.

So She-Ra is kind of like the legendary heroes from Rising of the Shield Hero, coming from a long line of people chosen to wield the sword. I tend to dislike chosen one types of stories because I think prophecy takes a lot of weight out of the character's actions, so this and Avatar are more what I like. The MC is special but not the only one who's ever been special and they can still easily fail. Their destiny was only to be able to use the weapon, not that they would succeed in any specific purpose.

And dang, Catra's turn against Shadow Weaver happened faster than I thought it would but I'm not complaining. That great "This is what you've really been preparing me for" speech and Hordak, again, being an intelligent villain. "Oh, this experiment could net me a MASSIVE gain and all it could potentially cost me is this rock I already gave away to someone who lately hasn't been producing any results and has been consistently disobeying me. Yeah, I'm going to let this play out."

Episode 13: That was kind of a brutal fight between Adora and Catra. Not the worst I've ever seen even in other shows for this age range (Samurai Jack, for example) but those punches are connecting and those claws are leaving marks.

Also, maybe I'm just misunderstanding the exact situation but shouldn't the good guys' side be called the Resistance instead of the Rebellion? Being a rebellion would imply they are rebelling against an established power or rule over them, but the actual conflict we are shown is the established power and rule that is the kingdoms of Eternia resisting an outside force that wishes to establish a new order over them.

Season 1 verdict: I'm into it. I'm definitely more invested in the villains' side of things but that's not a fault of the series, that stuff is just way more geared towards me than the current princess stuff. I actively am at attention whenever the horde main characters are on screen. For the good guys it's mostly Adora and the She-Ra stuff I'm invested it. That isn't to say I have any real dislikes for that side. Bow especially I'm liking much more than I thought I might. He has kind of this gravitational pull around him. You will be his friend regardless of how much you might want to resist. He's definitely the rock for everyone else to hold onto.

Minor side note, kind of like Korra in Legend of Korra, I love how even when her powers aren't active Adora is shown to still be pretty strong physically with how easily she was lifting people up at the prom.

And I was right, Scorpia is my favorite side character.

On to season 2!

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/nyll2e/going_in_blind_watching_season_1_for_the_first/