#but like temari clones and one shika

[misssunflowersandsangria]

Sparks

Ahh! Happy Birthday Shikamaru! This story has nothing to do with his birthday but here's something cute and fluffy like a yummy birthday cake.

Summary:  After a less than memorable first date with Temari, Shikamaru is determined to make the next one better.

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Sparks

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Chouji and Ino were surprised walking into the dimly lit room with the curtains pulled tightly closed.  A half eaten meal left on the table. This didn’t look like the living space of someone who just had a date with the love of their life. 

“Hey Shikamaru.” 

“You okay?”  Chouji poked at the lump on the bed and said shinobi sat up to brush a hand through his unruly hair. 

“I’m fine.”  They looked thoroughly unconvinced. Shikamaru should have known that they’d be showing up after he kept avoiding seeing them. 

“So…uhm how was your date with Temari?” 

Their friend groaned into the hands that were covering his face. “It was a disaster.”

“Really?”

“From where we were it seemed like you two were hitting it off.”  The utterly smitten look on his face was a surprising sight to see.

He bit back an annoyed statement about them snooping to sigh.

“The date was fine. We talked, the food was good but it just didn’t seem like a date would feel like I guess.  It was just like… a dinner between friends.  We’ve been friends for so long that I don’t know that we know how to be any more than that.”

“Is that what you want? Just to be friends with Temari?”

He’d contemplated that question since their date but kept coming up with the same answer. “No, I like her. I wouldn’t have asked her out otherwise. I just don’t know if she feels the same way and I worry that after our date she might think that all I’m interested in is being friends.”

“How did the night end?” He was annoyed knowing that Ino was fishing for information.

“Why? Was your date with Sai any better?”. He bit back as their dates had occurred around the same time. 

She threw her hair back with a smug smile. “It was perfect. He gave me a bouquet of flowers. He was sweet and charming all night. And the kiss at the end of the night was just incredible.”  

Even socially stunted Sai knew how to have a better first date than him.  This was all so unfamiliar and new.  He didn’t thrive in unfamiliar places and having to navigate relationships and feelings was challenging.  

The tense look across Shikamaru’s face halted Ino’s daydream. 

“How did the night end?” Ino asked again carefully. 

“Well we were standing outside her door for a while. She was playing with her keys so it seemed like she wanted to go inside.   It was starting to feel awkward so I shook her hand and said good night.”

“You shook her hand?”  Even Chouji was shocked. 

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Kiss her you idiot. She was clearly waiting for something.”

He blushed at the thought. “What if she didn’t want to kiss me?”

“Does Temari seem like the type to just let someone kiss her. She would have made it painfully obvious if she didn’t.”

“Fuck.”  He groaned and laid back in bed. He prayed that he hadn’t messed up his one opportunity. 

“So what do I do now?”  Chouji and Ino couldn’t help but be a little amused.  Shikamaru was their resident genius, smart and shrewd.  Having him ask for their advice must have been humbling. 

“Ask her out again, be really honest about how you feel and this time kiss her.” 

*

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Once his teammates left, Shikamaru made his way to the inn where Temari was staying. He wanted to ask her out again and was sure that this time things would be different. If he was lucky she’d agree and perhaps this time their night would end differently. 

“Shikamaru?”  Temari was surprised to find him a nervous wreck at her door. 

Shikamaru saw her and his rational plan to talk about their relationship and it’s possible future came crashing down. He quickly prayed that his teammate's advice was correct and pulled Temari into a kiss. 

He felt her tense before she melted into him. Her arms crossed behind his head. Soft and warm her lips fit so perfectly against his. 

He took a quick breath once their lips parted. His hands were firmly around her waist never wanting to let go.

“Tem-“ 

“More…kiss me more…”. Her breathless whimper propelled him forward. 

His hand moved to cradle the back of her head as he pushed her against the door. His weight heavy against her.  Lips hungry. Needy.  His rough hands moved wherever they could to feel warm skin against his finger tips. 

He’d always known that Temari was incredible. Strong, lean body with sun rayed hair. And teal eyes that were so unique and her own. 

Her lips though were his weakness. The way that they’d quirk up into that smug smirk. But sometimes soften into that sweet smile only he knew. Right now firmly pressed against his own he was left undone. 

He’d been worried after their first date that perhaps that spark wasn't there to push them beyond friendship. He was so happy that he’d been wrong. 

She pulled herself closer to him and yet it didn’t feel like enough. She knew it never would be. 

Her heavy pants sang in his ears but her soft whimpers wordlessly asking him to keep kissing her was making him dizzy. 

It was a state of weightlessness, disorienting but free that he’d gladly stay in. 

*

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Later, they sat together and he held her perched on his lap. He preferred to spend the night using his mouth for other things but he wanted to clear the air.  It wasn’t easy but he told her what he thought about their first date and some insecurities that he had. It was awkward and embarrassing but honesty was what they’d built their friendship on. 

“I was worried that I’d bored you, or maybe you thought it was just a normal friendly dinner.  Perhaps I should have made it much more elaborate just so you really knew how I felt. 

Temari paused to stare at him intently. He tried to keep his eyes on hers but they inevitably drifted to stare at her lips. They quirked into a sweet grin. 

“I look at it differently. I think that it’s something that I’ve learned from you. There can be a lot of joy in everyday life. Cloud watching, deer keeping, lazy, familiar, quiet moments. So yes, perhaps there will be parts of our relationships that seem normal or routine but in some ways I like it. Because you’re my safe place, my stability. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”  Her hand affectionately brushed through his hair.  Love shining in her deep eyes.  

“It’s you.”

He was surprised by her response even though he shouldn’t have been. Their lives had always been marred by a touch of chaos and uncertainty.  He’d gladly be her anchor.

.“Tem…”. He pulled her in tight kissing her surely and soundly. 

“Life together with you will always be an incredible adventure. As long as it’s you and me in the end.” 

She relaxed into him and his view of their future did sound incredible. 

“They were right by the way. I really did want you to kiss me that night.”  She admitted with a blush. She’d never been more annoyed at the supposed genius. 

“I’ll never make that same mistake again.”  And he sealed that promise with a kiss.

*

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My deers! How have you been? I miss you all. I hope that you enjoyed this little story from me. It was inspired by something that I think I read somewhere about Temari and Shika's first date.

I have so many WIP/ideas but I'm terribly unmotivated to write. This story has been sitting in my folder for months now so I decided to clean it up for Shika's birthday. Okay, babes please continue to take care of yourselves. I love you all!

[secret-engima]

Today in “SE works through the Chuunin Exam Arc and gets increasingly incredulous over how a show so beloved can have so many GAPING PLOT HOLES and also wow you can actually tell when the animators were getting paid to be enthusiastic or not can’t you”:

1. Sarutobi why did it take you so long to realize that the stadium and village were under attack.

2. Sarutobi why did you let Orochimoron take you hostage for even a hot second KAWARIMI IS A LITERAL ACADEMY BASIC TECHNIQUE JUST SWAP OUT WITH A NEARBY TILE YOU IDIOT I’VE SEEN IT DONE BEFORE FROM THAT CLOSE RANGE. KAKASHI DID IT. SO CAN YOU.

3. Sarutobi I don’t want to say you DESERVE to be trapped in a giant purple death box with your failed student and two dead guys trying to kill you but honestly you deserve to be trapped in a giant purple death box with your failed student and two dead guys trying to kill you.

4. Anbu. My guys. My dudes. I KNOW that the barrier is deadly and made of horrible purple fire and you can’t jump in but like- the barrier holders are right there. Wasting chakra to make an extra barrier around themselves. The barrier protecting them can’t be that thick. You have these lovely things call FLAME RESISTANT STEEL SWORDS you could be using to try to crack open the barrier. Or if you were REALLY smart you could, I don’t know, TUNNEL UP THROUGH THE CEILING??? The barrier is just a box that’s been turned upside down, there is no sign of a barrier floor underneath the tiles and even if there is you guys could have checked. You don’t need to just- sit there. Watching an old man, two dead guys, and a snake wearing makeup beat each other up.

5. Who let Kakashi make the plan. Why did Kakashi decide that it would be better to send the civilian girl he hasn’t bothered to train, the loud blond who he also hasn’t bothered to train, and the boy who tried to fake sleep to get out of helping go alone with just a tiny pug as escort. There were other genin RIGHT THERE who could both help AND be conveniently out of the line of fire in Kakashi’s fight. He was sending them after Sasuke, who was chasing three genin we’ve already seen wipe the FLOOR with the average genin. Having more numbers would be HIGHLY ADVANTAGEOUS.

6. And don’t tell me “he did it because Stealth” he sent the girl with bubblegum hair and the boy in neon orange out there, stealth is a non-factor and also it’s AN INVASION, nobody is going to care about a bunch of wacky kids running by they’re too busy trying not to die to the blur of green spandex that is Gai.

7. Where is Lee in all this anyway he just kinda vanished from the screen. Or was he passed out on the floor and I just missed him. I know he can’t fight, I just wanna know if he’s okay.

8. Was it bad that I didn’t know Asuma could actually fight? I knew he was one of the Guardian Twelve or whatever but mostly fans only talk about him getting owned by Itachi or murdered by Hidan so I guess I just assumed he was ... kinda a sucky fighter. I have been proven wrong. Nice job saving your deer boy, Asuma, I’m impressed.

9. There’s an actual budget for the Hokage fight? Nice. Also who gave Sarutobi the right to actually be cool NOW when he’s been acting senile for the past 10+ episodes excuse you.

10. EXCUSE YOU SARUTOBI YOU DON’T GET TO MAKE EPIC FEELS-INDUCING SPEECHES ABOUT THE WILL OF FIRE AND THE VILLAGE AS YOUR FAMILY, NOT WHEN YOU HAVE FAILED ON BOTH THOSE ASPECTS SO HARD.

11. How dare you make me regret your impending death even a little bit Sarutobi. How dare.

12. There’s a monkey king? That’s an actual THING? I mean I knew there was a monkey king but I didn’t expect him to be so amazing. Now if he would just stop waiting for Sarutobi to grow a spine (because we all know he won’t) and actually kick Orochimaru while the snake was distracted taunting his old sensei maybe we’d actually get somewhere with this show.

13. Seriously Monkey King you turn into a adamantine pole or whatever that can change shape and size, just play dead on the ground for a minute then expand and extend to the size and length of a tree. You don’t even have to do any damage yourself you just have to shove him/wack him into his own barrier and let him go up in flames. It probably won’t kill him, since Plot and also Orochimoron, but hey at least it will do damage and distract him for a few seconds.

14. Turning to Naruto real quick because clearly Sarutobi’s Senile Damsel Syndrome is contagious- Naruto. You are an Uzumaki. You have so much chakra you can barely do chakra control exercises. I know you’re tired from the Neji fight, but I ALSO know via fandom that you’re going to summon a freaking Boss Summon in a few episodes. When Shikamaru says “someone needs to stay behind and be a diversion” why didn’t you, I don’t know, SPAM A FEW SHADOW CLONES? You didn’t even have to use only shadow clones for the diversion, you could have just dropped off a few to help out Shika in his rare moment of self-sacrifice. Half a dozen screaming orange genin would go such a long way in providing a distraction so Shika could make a plan (may I suggest, catch the sound ninja in shadow possession and then have the Naruto’s slit their throats before their ninth member has a chance to catch up?). But no. We can’t possibly spam clones the one time a comrade could find them terribly useful, let’s go back to running through the trees worrying about the boy who knows an A-Rank assassination jutsu and would be totally fine surviving on his own for another several episodes of dialogue and reaction shots ten minutes.

15. Where the ACTUAL freak is Jiraiya. He came to Konoha specifically because he heard Orochimaru was planning something. There is an INVASION HAPPENING. GIANT SNAKES. BUSTING DOWN THE WALL. ENEMY NINJA EVERYWHERE. YOUR SENSEI IS TRAPPED IN A BARRIER JUTSU WITH THE GUY YOU SPECIFICALLY CAME HERE TO LOOK FOR. You don’t suppose you could leave your drinks and women and pity party long enough to- I don’t know- HELP? I mean I know it would be hard for someone who has such niche skills like SUMMONING GIANT TOADS and USING FUUNJUTSU THAT COULD PROBABLY BREAK THE BARRIER YOUR SENSEI IS TRAPPED IN but come on man, put forth a little effort.

Maybe you show up in a later episode miraculously doing something important to help stop the invasion, who knows.

Pros of this arc tho:

1. When they decide to actually use their animation budget THEY REALLY GO FOR IT. The fights that have a budget are epic.

2. Sakura got to be useful! For 20 seconds! She fended off a genjutsu and woke up Naruto and told him what was going on! That counts as useful! *devolves into sobbing because why are the girl characters not allowed to be both good guys AND competent onscreen*

3. I genuinely cheered when Asuma swooped in to save Shika. That was cool.

4. Some of the exam fight bits were cool. Naruto vs Neji dragged on a bit but the ending tactic was as rewarding as I’d hoped it would be from reading about it in the fandom. Also I really enjoyed the Shikamaru vs Temari fight. A-tier victory from the resident Deer Boi.

5. Sasuke using Chidori first time on screen was cool, and even though I’d read about it ahead of time, Gaara wigging out over seeing his own blood genuinely startled me.

6. I was glad to see that Sasuke still remembers how to use other jutsu than Chidori. When Temari started fighting him I was afraid the show writers would forget he HAD any jutsu other than Chidori tbh. Like Naruto and his many versions of the same jutsu (see: all the clone spam variations, all the harem jutsu variations, and all the many MANY different rasengan variations).

[testingcheats0n]

Everything wrong with the Boruto anime/Why are the main characters academy students/What is wrong with Boruto's eye?

•Where is the plot? In Naruto we alredy had something to look forward to (the mistery of the Kuyuubi and what happens to graduated genins) but the kiddies are still in school and this isn’t some Sailor Moon type of story. Not to mention the fact that they are still kids which means they shouldn’d be in dangerous situations in the first place (there needs to be some danger, or intrigue, something). Fast forward it a bit, show progress with the system, no more child soldiers and stuff. It can still be shonen with older characters. In my opinion it’s boring and repetitive. •There are a lot of inconsistencies with the timelines and minor world-building elements. •Seriously the doujutsus should be left alone. And all the other kekkei genkai (as Sakura and Tsunade’s super-strength aparently!!!). I get it, it’s for viewers who have never seen the anime but please, the older fans were somewhat excited too so I imagine it really bothered them. •Unimaginitive team placements, there will be a Ino-Shika-Cho trio and the typical team 7 an Uchiha, an Uzumaki and the non-clan member as seen in the movie. •The important things! Like the Hyuuga slave branch and the Uchiha massacre amongst many others, what happened? A little bit of information please. •The ships •The mini clones -ehem- new generation. •Why isn’t Orochimaru dead? •Where are the rest of the original characters? They keep introducing new people but we don’t know anything about the ones that were alredy there. •Sasuke’s suffering •Naruto’s stupid ass that didn’t do shit. •The very desorganized system these villages have, like why do you have so much paperwork? Aren’t you hokage? Ireally doubt that a president/dictator has that much work. Aren’t there employees or ninjas or whatever to help you clean that fucking desk? Shikamaru only brings in more stacks and that’s it. •If there’s peace then why are the kiddies still training to kill? •Shino’s lazy comparation of “I was just like Boruto when I was his age” bitch, when? •Boruto’s bratty stupid ass •Himawari’s creepy existence. •Sarada the lolita. •Shikamaru and Temari act the same way his parents did. Original. •Speaking of Temari isn’t she a housewife now? What the fuck? •Housewifes. •Seriously, where are the kunoichis? •Tenten’s failing buisness, seriously? A woman who made her own buisness and manages her own shop and it’s the only one who you use to show Konoha’s failing economy? Which by the way I find hilarious, too bad the won’t mention it ever again. •The Will of Fire. •Sasuke •The Uchiha massacre •Sasuke! •Sasusaku •Naruhina •The ships!! •The figure of Hokage still exists •Naruto’s miserable life (no actually that’s funny too) •Sakura, the eternal fangirl!

[aubretia23]

A Ridiculous Idea Part 2

Title : A Ridiculous Idea

Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER : I do not own Naruto, its franchise or anything related to it. All recognisable characters, situations and premises are copyright of Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz Media.

SPECIFIC DISCLAIMER : This fanfiction is a sequel to The Other Talk and its sequel The Other Other Talk. Both are fanfictions written by KuriQuinn and thus her intellectual property. I have taken permission from her to write and publish a sequel to them. Therefore I will try my best to stick to events and interpretations of characters according to her. The keyword  here being “try”.

Author Note : Thank you KuriQuinn for the permission. This is my second attempt at fanfiction. Also I am not KuriQuinn, so the writing style will be different. Please bear with me. English is not my native tongue. The variant of English used here is Indian. I have also used my own headcanons , so it might not be an exact sequel but whatever.

As long as you enjoy it, it does not matter.

Alright I wrote this before Episode 8 came out so I don’t think I can stick to canon anymore. This is a fanfic anyway. Also I thought of making this a five part series earlier but now it will probably be a three parter. Therefore, I am renaming the prologue as Chapter 1. This chapter is long and goes a bit in depth with the situation but I will try to steer it back to lightheartedness in the next one.

I don’t know about other countries but in India, marriage registration and weddings are not the same. There is a civil wedding and a legal marriage. If your marriage is registered, then you are legally married but a civil wedding is almost always happens alongside it. It gives societal legitimacy and acknowledgement by the family, the extended clan and the society. If you got married in a civil wedding but didn’t register yet, your wedding will be considered legally valid but it leaves you in a precarious situation if you ever have to prove your marital status especially if you don’t have photos or wedding guests or distant relatives to vouch for the wedding.

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A veil of whispers and murmurs descends upon the assembly. Naruto nods to Shizune who informs the clans’ leaders that the emergency meeting was over. As the last of the leaders file out, a handful of close and relevant people stay back. Shikamaru shuts the door of the hall in order to ensure complete privacy for what was to come next.

“This is utterly outrageous.” Koharu bites out furiously through her toothless mouth.

“The sole Uchiha scion and one of the only two Uzumaki scions cannot marry each other. They have to marry someone else in order to carry on their clan lineages. They are the clan leaders on top of that. Two clan leaders marrying each other is unprecedented. Seventh, you must track your son and your apprentice down. You must stop them before this sacrilege occurs.”

“They love each other. And they want to merge the two clans - the Uchiha and the Uzumaki - into one.” Naruto informs her tiredly.

After all, Himawari’s prodigious Byakugan prowess qualifies her for the leadership of the Hyuga. Even though he doesn’t want it for her, Himawari’s enthusiasm and closeness to her maternal clan has elevated her to the status of the unofficial Hyuga heiress who will succeed her still childless and unmarried aunt. Perhaps if he tries, Naruto can persuade her to carry on the Uzumaki lineage for the sake of the village but he knows that Himawari’s happiness lies in the Hyuga. Her smile is something he can die for to protect.

Koharu and Homura stare at him scandalised.

“Clans branching out is one thing, clans merging together is unheard of-” A laughter cuts off Homura.

Hanabi rolls down to the floor at this point, her stomach aching due to incessant laughter.

Kakashi, his eyes crinkling, grins behind his mask, cementing his status as the only one besides her in the entire hall who is amused at the situation.

“This is outrageous! There is no way that those two are getting away with this.”

Sasuke hisses at Hiashi’s thunderous declaration, his head stubbornly throbbing in pain.

“I had an entire wedding planned out for those two!” Ino wails out, sobbing. Her doting aunt tendencies were at their strongest for Sarada, despite her niece’s stubborn aversion to cheesy romances.

“Well, everyone knew that Boruto and Sarada were meant to be. I mean, everybody knew they were in love with each other since they were in diapers.” Iruka was met with sour looks from Naruto and Sakura. Sasuke shoots him a dirty glare while Hinata shuts her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose in exasperation, her other arm wrapping around her middle consolingly.

Shino sighs at this. Chouji tries to nervously evade looking at the concerned foursome.

“It’s like it was just yesterday​ when they were twelve or thirteen. All blushy-blushy over each other and Boruto declaring that he will protect Sarada and support her as Hokage and what not.” Moegi reminisces, a bright grin slowly breaking out on her face. The new Ino-Shika-Cho sniggers at this.

“Yeah, we even have a bet going on who will realise their feelings first and who will confess first. With Naruto and Sasuke’s dense and oblivious genes being unfortunately dominant, nobody thought​ that it will amount to anything before they turned twenty or something.” Tsunade turns towards Shizune.

Naruto raises an eyebrow at this declaration.

“It is a village-wide bet.” Shizune admits shamefacedly.

“Forget that. They won’t be able to get married. They both are underage.” Temari brings everyone back to the point.

“Well, the law states that the marriageable age is sixteen. Although you need parental permission to get married before turning eighteen.” Shikamaru wants this meeting to be over as soon as possible. Perhaps a cup or two of really strong alcohol might just do him some good.

“Temari’s right. Once the two realise that they won’t be able to get married without your legal permission, they will come back on their own.” Sai tries to reassure his former teammates and Hinata.

“They won’t come back.” Hinata’s quiet statement can be heard over the babel.

“And why not?” is all a frowning Konohamaru manages with broken jaw.

“Because they have our written permission.” Sakura informs dryly.

The hall falls silent.

“What the hell, Sakura?! Why would you guys give them permission to get married while they are still underage? They could have easily waited till they both turned eighteen. That’s a little over an year away!” Ino screeches at her best friend.

“Sarada is pregnant.” Sasuke informs them darkly, the words coming out from a far away place. At least in Sasuke’s mind.

The assembly looks at Sasuke in utter silence.

“Who’s the fa-” Sai cuts himself off as he realises the utter stupidity of his question.

“When did this happen?” Temari demands.

“Well, Sarada is six weeks pregnant.” Naruto replies with a sigh.

The entire assembly stills at the implication of these words.

Two months ago, Uzumaki Boruto was sent on a highly dangerous S-ranked mission. Despite the support of the new triclan team, the mission took a dangerous turn when Kawaki got involved. Sarada and Mitsuki had to be sent in. Boruto completed his mission but Kawaki escaped. Not before fatally injuring the former, one which put him in a week long coma, ripped his vitals apart and nearly costed him his dojutsu and life. It was only due to the timely and combined medical intervention of Sarada, Mitsuki and Inojin that Boruto came out of this mission alive. The scar running down Boruto’s right eye is no longer angrily red but still serves as a reminder of the near-death experience.

Naruto looks at the third Sannin for an explanation. Mitsuki shrugs.

“Sarada was hysterical when Boruto went into coma. We had to knock her out to let her body rest a bit. We left them alone after Boruto woke up because all he would do at that point of time was to ask for Sarada. No one disturbed them after that. At least not for the night after he woke up.”

Mitsuki’s account fitted together with what the Uzumaki and Uchiha couples could glean out from their children after Sasuke calmed down enough from attempting to murder his student. The teenaged couple was reluctant to give out details but eventually under Hinata’s disappointed stare, the one which always made Sasuke feel as though he has kicked a puppy, they gave in.

Underneath what at first seemed to be immature and rebellious teenage dating and sex, and consequent irresponsibly accidental pregnancy, a different story emerged, albeit if only by a bit.

Boruto’s near-death experience had brought him and Sarada to terms with their deep-rooted feelings for each other. Their verbal confirmation of mutual love, trust and commitment was followed by a physical reaffirmation of their passion for each other. Undisturbed by their teammates and traumatised by their experience, the new couple forgot about everything except each other. Everything including something very important.

Contraception.

They had dated for a month after that under the guise of medical checkups, recuperative exercises and training, mostly because they knew their fathers would immediately deem their relationship to be inappropriate or immature or both, before one evening, Sarada began feeling nauseated at the smell of fried octopus while on a date. Boruto had used his dojutsu in order to figure out whether her chakra was off-balance or not. All he saw was a foreign chakra in her lower belly.

Sarada and Boruto were left staring at each other, frozen in shock, as the possible implication seeped in. After several pregnancy tests bought by Boruto’s henged shadow clones, Sarada confirmed her pregnancy.

After initial bafflement, a mild tantrum and some tears later, joy and laughter filled the otherwise empty Uchiha household. Boruto had proposed marriage to Sarada who answered it with pushing him into the nearest bedroom and getting down on her knees.

Unfortunately, the said bedroom belonged to her parents who were not supposed to be in the village for some time. The said parents had returned without a warning.

Once the Uchiha couple got over their initial trauma, they called a kangaroo meeting with their daughter’s boyfriend at the Ichiraku. The meeting ended with Sarada breaking Konohamaru’s jaw for his uninvited interference and Sakura being generally threatening. Boruto had not spoken a word since then and his back had begun to hurt due to rigidity. Sasuke’s death glares might have something to do with it.

When the news reached the Uzumaki couple, Hinata and Naruto were at a loss for words, embarrassment and bafflement being their default settings.

After accidently informing their parents about their pregnancy later that night at dinner at the Uzumaki residence, Sarada had stubbornly refused to back down after her father attempted to murder the father of her child. Sasuke’s irrational anger at that point was met with immature tantrums and comebacks from Sarada’s side. Which was enough to tire her out sooner that expected. Boruto had caught her before she could hit the floor.

His piercing blue eye met his mentor’s mismatched black and violet ones. For the first time in his life, Sasuke felt afraid of his student.

While Sakura checked up on her daughter, scanning her with Mystical Palms and asking her general questions regarding her health, pregnancy and sex life, Hinata had walked Himawari to the Hyuuga Compound where she would be spending the night. Kakashi stuck around hoping to dissipate tensions. Once they all gathered back in the Uzumaki living room, Boruto and Sarada sat down with their parents and Kakashi, hoping to come to a rational resolution.

Protectively wrapping his arms around her, Boruto explained rationally what Sarada was expressing emotionally.

That he and Sarada loved each other. Had done so for years.

That they were dating seriously. And sleeping together. And had no intentions of ever taking a break.

That they were going to become parents.

That their child is the proof of their love for each other.

That they wanted to get married.

That even without the baby, they would have gotten married the day Sarada turned eighteen.

That he and Sarada had enough money to establish a married life and family of their own. Being talented at a young age meant being sent on high ranking missions early irrespective of their nin rank which translated to a high income.

That all they wanted was love and support from both sets of their parents for their child and themselves.

And of course, being still underage, their permission to get married as soon as possible given the circumstances.

Sasuke had stormed out of the house at the end of this conversation. Sarada was reduced to tears while Boruto tried to console her.

Sakura was furious at this point. Whether it was at her husband or daughter or the situation itself was unknown. Possibly the first option because she stormed out of the Uzumaki residence as well after telling Sarada that she is going to put her father in his place.

Hinata and Naruto seemed bewildered even at this point. But soon, Naruto sat down to lecture Boruto on irresponsibility - general, sexual and marital. Hinata diced some fruits and along with a bowl of custard managed to draw Sarada into a conversation over them. Kakashi wandered off outside, hoping to catch his two former students before they damaged public property.

He soon found the couple at an all-night bar. Sasuke could have been mistaken for being passed out on Sakura’s lap after what seemed to be several bottles of very high grade sake.

Except he was sobbing quite audibly. The loss of his only beloved daughter to another man was just too much for him to bear.

Sakura was gently patting her husband’s head, her face decidedly softened since the entire drama began. As she caught Kakashi’s eye, she gently informed her husband about the onlooker. Sasuke immediately pulled himself up to sit straight, swaying a little, and glaring drunkenly at Kakashi, daring him silently to repeat this to Naruto. Kakashi merely smiled in amusement and joined them, ordering shochu for himself and umeshu for Sakura.

Half an hour later, they were joined by Naruto and Hinata. He was carrying a marriage contract. One with an underage permission clause attached to it.

Hinata informed Sakura as the latter poured out a cup of umeshu for the former that Boruto and Sarada had decided to spend the night together at a hotel. Sasuke made an attempt to bolt out of there but Sakura’s steady glare pinned him down.

Naruto broached out the subject of unifying the two clans. It was something unheard of before. Boruto and Sarada’s status as clan leaders easily disqualified each other as a marriage candidate for each other. But Boruto figured that if the two clans were merged into one, something that should not be very difficult granted the meagre number of both the Uchiha and the Uzumaki, he and Sarada, as the joint co-leaders of the new clan, could welcome their child without the explosive question of which clan did he or she belong to. The question of kekkei genkai was a different matter altogether, one which was dependent on sheer luck.

Ultimately, all four of the parents decided to sign over the contract. The reality of a grandchild was becoming more dominant over their children’s idiocy. The two to-be grandmothers began discussing the cuteness and gender of the unborn baby, while Naruto and Sasuke ended up having a chakraless fist fight after the former goaded the latter by saying that he will be the more favourite one out of the two grandfathers. Kakashi smiled in serene satisfaction.

Since the clock at the bar already read 3:43 AM, Hinata thought it would be best to just discreetly have it delivered to their children via one of Sasuke’s hawk summons. It would certainly cheer up both their children, Sarada more specifically to be honest. Half an hour later, they received a note from Boruto thanking them for everything.

Naruto announced that he would be heading to the Hokage’s office. Clan merging or whatever would need a good amount of legal paperwork.

Sasuke and Sakura decided to return to their home. Sasuke being wobbly on his feet had to be supported by Sakura. Hinata decided to go over to the Hyuga Compound, hoping to meet her father personally and inform him about this turn of events. Kakashi decided to stay back at the bar, surrounding himself with more alcohol and pulling out his orange book.

At 6:00 AM, Naruto sought out Shikamaru for advice on legal aspects of the merger.

At 7:30 AM, he called for an emergency meeting of clan leaders at 9:00 AM in which Boruto and Sarada’s upcoming nuptials would be announced. A private meeting with the Konoha Council was avoided, firstly because it was a private family matter, and secondly, because of the excessive high-handed nosiness of the two Elders. With all the legal paperwork set right, thanks to a disgruntled and unsettled Shikamaru and his genius brain, Naruto knew the two oldies could no longer interfere.

At 8:50 AM, he was presented a letter by a very calm and pleased Mitsuki.

It explained in Boruto’s rather neat handwriting that he and Sarada are eloping.

That they had registered their marriage at the Konoha Marriage Registration Office at 8:10 AM. The new Ino-Shika-Cho served as their three witnesses.

That he and Sarada intend to exchange vows somewhere alone and to have a long honeymoon as they know that they won’t get any alone time together once the baby was born.

That he hopes that they forgive them.

That they will write to them every week.

That they will be back before the due date because Sarada wants her mother to be the midwife.

And that they will have another wedding just for their parents and the rest of the village on their first wedding anniversary.

At 8:58 AM, a murderous Sasuke had his ribs broken by Sakura when they learnt about this. Hinata was informed discreetly by Shikamaru just prior to the start of the meeting. The look she sent in the direction of the village gates was spine-chilling.

Koharu is the first to gain back her footing.

“This is a sacrilege! What kind of an abomination would this child be?! Born of a half-breed Uchiha and a hybrid of Uzumaki and Hyuga? Seventh, you not only need to stop these two, separate them and forbid them from seeing each other ever again, but also annul this marriage.”

Homura agrees to this, “But first of all, Hokage, you must ensure that this monster of a child is not born. The bloodlines of Byakugan and Sharingan mixing into one being will yield no good.”

Everyone turns towards them in slow motion as the words sink. The room’s temperature drops by a good several degrees.

Sakura is the first to act in the defence of her child’s child. Homura is thrown out of the conference hall on the fourth floor of the Hokage office building, the glass window shattering on his head while on his path down.

Koharu has her chakra points blocked by an absolutely furious Hinata, her activated Byakugan ablaze with fury. Her pointed fingers threaten to damage her heart if the Elder moves even a little.

Naruto feels anger leaving his tensed shoulders as he nods to Shizune to pick up Koharu and send her to the hospital and on her way there, also pick up Homura if he is still alive even after having each and every bone shattered by Sakura’s punch. Sasuke’s broken ribs were the only thing which prevented him from going after the duo and ensuring their demise. The murderous intent of the rest of the gathering was ebbing was well.

The whole group of friends and extended honorary family was protective about the future Ninth Hokage and her bodyguard. Quite naturally, it was immediately and instinctively extended to their child.

A cool wave of exasperated silence and exhausted contemplation washes over the occupants of the hall.

Sai laughs out. “Well, I suppose this is karma. “

“For what?” Sasuke raises an eyebrow at him.

“For having a year long sexathlon of a honeymoon and giving birth to a secret baby about whom no one knew outside the village.” Ino trills in.

Sasuke groans out loud while general amusement at his expense ensues.

Everything will be fine, Naruto supposes. As his eyes meet Hinata’s, a smile blossoming on her face, Naruto feels lighters, happier, giddier.

A grandchild would be nice, he thinks. Yeah, it would be very nice.

“Well, if anything, all this will come back to bite them in the ass.” Sakura says lightly. A tremor of devilish amusement enters her voice. A dangerous smirk slowly snakes out on her increasingly gleeful face.

“What do you mean by that?” Hinata frowns.

“I found this out while I examined Sarada. I wanted to inform Boruto and Sarada about this after the meeting but since they have decided to behave irresponsibly and idiotically again, I suppose it will be cosmic punishment when they learn about this.”

“Learn about what? Is the baby and Sarada alright?” Sasuke asks.

“ You mean the babies.”

“Huh?” The entire group looks at her bewildered.

“Boruto and Sarada are going to have twins.” Sakura says happily.

Naruto feels a sense of dread entering him. Flashbacks of Boruto’s antics in childhood and admittedly his own come back to the fore.

Konoha is truly doomed, he thinks meekly.

[isolavirtuosa]

Post-Post Traumatic: The Second Time 5-6

Post-Post Traumatic [fanfiction] NaruSasu (in progress)

A series of “drabbles” following the events of Post Traumatic.

Previous Parts

The Second Time

5-6 under the cut

- 5 -

             It was a typical loud Sunday morning as I dragged myself out of bed and down to the kitchen.

           Naruto had a clone cooking breakfast and another clone bandaging up some kind of horrible injury on one of the kids.  The real Naruto was eating breakfast with the other kids, but jumped to his feet when he saw me, ready to smother me with affection.

           “Morning, love,” he said, giving me half a dozen smooches.

           “Morning,” I echoed.

           His grin could have burned the house down.

           “I made coffee,” he said, bumping his forehead to mine before going to get it.

           I took my seat, and promptly found a hot coffee in my hands.

           Two of the brats were fighting about something, so I glowered at them until they shut up.

           “More eggs?” Naruto asked, nudging my foot with his under the table.

           “Okay,” I said, playing footsie back with him.

           Naruto lit up again.

           We’d been having some kind of second honeymoon lately.  Naruto had decided to fulfill me in every way possible, whether it be making me coffee at all hours of the day, rolling my cigarettes, giving me massages, or running to the bakery and back whenever he thought I might need a baked good to lift my spirits.  He hadn’t nagged me about anything since Ino had gone back to Konoha.  He didn’t look at me judgmentally when I went to the opium shop, and he didn’t bat an eye when I skipped therapy to take a nap.

           All this was on top of his usual 24-7 work that had put giant bags under his eyes and a subtle weariness in his voice.

           It made me feel like shit.

           “So Gaara and I have a meeting with the delegation from Iwa,” he said, fixing a plate for me.  “But I was thinking maybe we could have a late lunch together before your appointment with Maiko?”

           “I’m not going,” I said.  I watched him carefully.

           His brow crinkled.  “Why not?”

           One of the kids started pulling on his pant leg, whining insistently.

           Naruto bent down to talk to him.

           “I don’t feel like it,” I said.

           Naruto glanced up at me.  “Well do you want to get lunch anyway?”

           “Don’t really feel like going to Suna.”

           Naruto gave me a little pout.  “If you change your mind, send me a message, yeah?”

           “Sure.”

           “You’re never home,” one of the brats complained.

           “Hey, the ninja world is in crisis,” Naruto said, ruffling his hair.

           “The ninja world is always in crisis,” the kid whined.

           Naruto grinned, picking him up suddenly and tossing him in the air.

           The kid shrieked with joy.

           “Naruto.”

           He turned his smiling face to me, still holding the boy.

           “I’ll meet you for lunch,” I said.

           His smile got even wider.  He went back to playing with the kid.

           I poked at my breakfast.  I knew that I was testing him by skipping out on therapy and refusing to meet him.  I had to recognize the bad behaviors and change them.  If I could do that on my own, then it wouldn’t matter that I had just pretended to take my pills and made them disappear with a jutsu.

           Recognize the bad behaviors and change them.

           I took all six kids with me to Suna for the afternoon along with Jugo.

           Naruto seemed surprised but pleased when we all joined him for lunch.

           He also looked tired and stressed, all hidden behind a wide smile and an easy laugh.

           “Don’t work too hard,” I said, pulling him aside as we were leaving.

           “I know, it’s just with the Earth delegation…”

           “Are you coming home tonight?”

           “I’ll try.”

           I touched his face, giving him a brief kiss.

           “You’re so cute, bastard,” he said with a grin.

           I frowned.

           Naruto grabbed me in a spontaneous hug, then skipped off to say goodbye to the brats.

           I waited up for him, but he didn’t come home.

           I felt nauseous when I got up.

           One of the older boys (Jun?  Jin?) was up and complaining about the lack of food.

           “Then make it your damn self,” I growled.

           Some of the smaller kids shrank away from me.

           Recognize the bad behaviors and correct them.

           “I need a cigarette and coffee, and then I’ll cook,” I said, moving into the kitchen.

           “I’ll help!” Mari said cheerfully.

           “Thank you,” I said.  I didn’t have to be ruled by my mood swings.

           My mouth felt dry, and I ended up drinking two cups of coffee before making breakfast.  The brats were all wary as I set food in front of them, and I didn’t blame them.  I was a ticking time bomb.

           Quitting all my medications had seemed like a very good idea yesterday.  Now I eyed the bottles lined up at my place at the table.  I just couldn’t accept that I had to spend the rest of my life being controlled by those damn pills.  I was in control.

           Suigetsu was coming down the stairs, scratching his stomach.

           “Run the house today.”

           He looked at me through bleary eyes.  “Me?”

           “You’re the only one here.  Jugo went out this morning and Naruto’s in Suna.”

           “I’ll just wake Karin up…”

           “Do not wake her up, I don’t want to hear all that screaming.”

           “You okay, Bossman?  You’re kind of pale.”

           “I’m always pale.”

           “Whatever,” Suigetsu said, waving his hand around in a way that I assumed meant that he’d run the house for me.

           I went to my room and locked the door.  I sat on the bed, rubbing my temples.  I looked around the room slowly, letting my eyes focus on everything.

           No dead Uchihas floating around the room.

           I pulled out my pipe and drifted off into a haze.

           “Smells like a temple in here,” Naruto grumbled, nipping my ear.

           I let my eyes flutter open.  “It’s nice.”

           “I’m sure everything is nice to you.  You look relaxed,” he said, scrutinizing my face. “A little sweaty, though,” he added. He smoothed my sticky bangs away from my forehead.  “The way Suigetsu was talking, I thought you’d be having an episode.”

           I guffawed.

           “Babe, you are so high,” he said, shaking his head with a little smile.

           “I’m glad you’re home,” I said, touching his face.

           He let out a heavy breath.

           “You’re leaving?” I asked.  I started twirling a blond strand around my finger.

           “Shika and I are heading out to Kumo tomorrow. You got any business there?”

           “Tomorrow?” I repeated.  “I don’t want to go anywhere.”

           “Okay,” Naruto said, tucking his head under my chin. “I’d really like it if you came, though.”

           “You should just stay home with me.”

           I felt the chapped movement of lips against my collarbone.  “I would love that.  But ninja world in crisis and all.”

           “Fuck the ninja world,” I murmured.

           “Yeah, yeah.”

           “Your hair is dirty.”

           “Didn’t have time for a bath.”

           “It’s okay.  I kind of like it.”

           I could feel Naruto laughing into my skin.

           “Don’t laugh at me,” I said, but I wasn’t angry. I was the opposite of angry. Everything was very, very good. “You’re pretty.”

           Naruto peeked up at me, a delighted look on his face. “Am I?”

           “No,” I said quickly.

           He was crestfallen.

           “No, no, I’m lying, you are.”

           “My heart can’t take all this,” he complained, leaning up and kissing my temple.  “I gotta pack.”

           I watched him open up his weapon cache.  It occurred to me somewhere in the recesses of my mind that Naruto was getting into something dangerous.  “Be safe.”

           He flashed me a canine grin.  “Of course, babe.”

           I flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

           “You’re really spaced out,” Naruto complained, lying on top of me.  “Pay attention to me.”

           “Heavy.”

           “I’m not that heavy!”

           “Fatass.”

           “My ass is perfect and you know it!”

           I groped it to the best of my ability with my floaty hands.  “Not bad.”

           Naruto cracked up.  “You are too cute.”

           “Mm.”

           “Mm?”

           “Mm.”

           “You sure you don’t want to come?”

           “I can’t,” I said.  I couldn’t remember why not, but it seemed important.

           “Okay,” he said.  He looked so tired.

           “Quit your stupid job,” I said, smoothing my thumb over his cheek.

           “I love my job.”

           “No, you don’t.”

           “Well, okay, no, but I love what I can accomplish, you know?  Sakura and I are really making meaningful changes, and the other villages are following us.”

           “You look tired, sweetie.  And unhappy.”

           “Hey, no, I’m not unhappy,” Naruto said, peppering me with kisses.  “How could I be unhappy when I’m with you?”

           “The fact that I can think of more than ten reasons is worrying.”

           “Sasuke.  Come on.”

           “Can’t come,” I said with a laugh.

           Naruto sat up, straddling my lap and pulling me up with him.  He pushed up my eyelid with his finger, pulling down the lower lid with his thumb. He leaned in to study my eyes.

           I felt like I was drowning in blue.  “Your eyes are so beautiful.”

           His cheeks tinged red, and he smiled softly as he let go of my lids.  “Thank you. You feeling okay?”

           “Why, because I said something nice?”

           “Well, there’s that,” Naruto said, pressing his forehead to mine.  “But you always say nice things when you’re drunk.  Or high.”

           “I have to pick and choose when to say nice things.  Don’t want you to get narcissistic.”

           “Thank you, I appreciate you looking out for me,” Naruto hummed, nuzzling my nose with his.  “But like I was saying, your pupils are really small, and your skin is hot to the touch.”

           “I’m fine.  Better than fine.”

           “Okay, just tell me if that changes,”

           “Yeah.”

           “Love you,” he said, pressing his lips briefly to mine before getting up.

           “Where are you going?”

           “Gotta meet with Gaara before I go.”

           “Yeah,” I said, already starting to drift away.

           “Sasuke?  I gotta go.”

           I blinked at Naruto blearily.  “I thought you already went?”

           “I mean to Kumo.”

           “How long was I asleep?” I muttered, rubbing at my eyes.  “My throat…”

           Naruto handed me a glass of water.

           I sat up and drank it in its entirety.

           Naruto was petting my hair, a look in his eyes that I didn’t like.

           “More,” I said, holding out the glass to him.

           “You could ask more nicely.”

           “I’ll blow you if you get me more water.”

           “Not that nicely,” Naruto muttered, shuffling out of the room.  He came back with a full glass, handing it to me.

           “Thank you.”

           “Mm.”

           “Did you sleep at all?” I asked.  Gaging the level of darkness in the room, it had to be about five in the morning.

           “Didn’t have time.”

           “And now you’re going to travel all day?”

           “Yep.”

           “Come lay down.”

           “Shika and Temari are coming in like an hour.”

           “Then sleep an hour.”

           “Might as well just push through it and sleep tonight.”

           I glared at him.

           “What?”

           “You are going to take care of yourself and lay the fuck down.”

           “I’d rather spend my time productively-”

           “Naruto.”

           “You’re such a nag, jeez,” Naruto muttered, crawling into bed.

           “That’s hilarious coming from you.”

           “Heh.”

           I pulled the sheet up over his shoulders.

           Naruto nestled into the pillow and sank right into sleep.

           I rolled my eyes and drank my water.  I felt like crap, but I’d slept enough, so I got up and went downstairs.

           When Shikamaru and Temari arrived, I informed them in no uncertain terms that Naruto would be sleeping some more before they left.

           “This idiot could use some sleep, too,” Temari said with a shrug.  “I’m going to do some summoning.”

           “Summoning what?” I asked, but she was already gone. “Whatever.  Go sleep in one of the empty beds,” I said, gesturing Shikamaru towards the kids’ rooms.

           I started making breakfast.

           Doing the everyday minutiae of life wasn’t a way of appeasing others, it was a way of taking control.  So I did it, because I was in control.

           “Sasuke,” Mari said, tugging on my sleeve while I flipped pancakes.

           “What?” I asked, using a neutral tone.

           “You look upset.”

           “Goddammit, I’m not!”

           Mari looked side to side.

           “I’m fine,” I corrected myself.  “Pancake?”

           She held out a plate and accepted one, though she didn’t look appeased.

           This was never going to work.  I was completely on edge.  I needed my medications to take the edge off, but they took everything else off, too.  I wasn’t willing to give myself up like that anymore.

           Temari came back, looking nonplussed as usual. “The boys still sleeping?”

           “Yes.”

           “Oh, well, let them sleep.  This shit can’t get any worse if we delay a few hours, can it?”

           “My sources are saying that the protests are still peaceful,” I said, serving her some pancakes.  “Do you really think it’s best to put Naruto in the middle of this?”

           “It’s because he’s Naruto that we’re doing it,” Temari said with a shrug.  “Goddamn, Uchiha, you can cook.  Anyway, put Naruto in front of a crowd and he’ll have them all wrapped around his finger before he’s even finished.”

           “But isn’t that exactly why these rebel ninjas hate him?”

           “Who hates Naruto-sensei?” one of the kids asked.

           “Half of Kumogakure,” Temari said.

           The kid looked appalled.

           I was dissatisfied.

           A rebel faction had started surging to power, mostly in Kumo, but with pockets in all of the hidden villages.  The faction was tired of ‘dictator’ Uzumaki forcing reforms on them.  They wanted to go back to traditional ninja policies, and they wanted Konoha to remove Naruto from power, citing that a village could not have two kages.

           It was all the dumbest shit I had ever heard in my life.

           Naruto was amazing.  Not that I would ever tell him that, but he was.  He had placed a minimum age restriction on all ninja promotions, fighting for kids to just be kids, not child soldiers.  He had pushed for mental healthcare to be more of a priority for all ninjas, and had fought to take away the stigma from receiving counseling.  He and Sakura had even opened up the council to have a representative from every ninja class, and even a non-ninja representative.

           Also, he saved the world every damn time it was in trouble (obviously with my help).

           But these idiots thought that he had too much power, and that he used that power to manipulate others into following his agenda.

           Which was ridiculous.  Sure, Naruto could whine someone into doing his bidding, just to get him to shut up, but using the threat of his superior strength and chakra to take control of the ninja world as a shadow dictator?

           He wasn’t that smart.

           There were also those who thought that I was controlling Naruto from the shadows.

           That seemed more likely, but those people clearly didn’t realize how mentally unstable I was.

           “You watch his back every second,” I told Temari.

           “Of course,” she said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.  “You could just come with us if you don’t trust me with the job.”

           “That’s not a good idea right now.”

           Temari shrugged.  She didn’t push, though, which was why I found her tolerable.

           When I knew they couldn’t delay their departure any longer, I went to wake up Naruto.

           He was disoriented, and slightly sour about me not waking him up sooner.

           “You have to take care of yourself,” I said, squeezing his cheeks between my hands.

           He pouted.

           “If you do, then I’ll take care of myself.”

           He nodded vigorously at that.

           “Good boy.”

           There was a solemn air as Naruto, Temari, and Shikamaru set off.

           We all watched until they had disappeared over the horizon.

           I went to my room and lit my pipe to take the edge off.

 - 6 -

             Detoxifying was shit.

           “Sasuke.  I’m not leaving this house with you like this,” Karin said, looming over me while I rested my cheek against the toilet seat.

           “Do your goddamn job, Karin.”

           “You realize there are six children in this house who need looking after?”

           “You hate kids.”

           “I don’t hate them…”

           “I’m fine.  I can watch six brats.”

           “Move away from the toilet and try saying that.”

           “It will pass.”

           “How long since you stopped, Sasuke?  A few days?  You might be in the worst of it, but it’s far from over.”

           “What do you know about coming off of psychiatric medicine?”

           “Uh, well a whole damn lot since I live with you, not to mention that I’m a scientist.”

           “Whatever.”

           “You’re ridiculous.”

           I responded by dry heaving.

           Karin sighed loudly and squatted next to me, patting my back.  “Why do you always have to think that you know best?  If you had just stuck with Maiko’s weaning plan…”

           “It’s my fucking body.”

           “I know this.  I understand.  I do. Stop shaking your head.  I was a guinea pig for Orochimaru, in case you forgot. Things for me and Jugo and Suigetsu weren’t like what they were for the Uchiha prince.  We didn’t have our every whim catered to.  We were tortured and experimented on.”

           I was quiet.

           Karin continued to pat my back.

           I ended up putting off sending her to Iwa, against my better judgement.  There were rumblings of another uprising, and I needed someone there.

           But I needed someone here with me more.

           It made me feel weak, but I needed to recognize the bad behaviors and change them.  Sending Karin away when I obviously needed help would just be me continuing my usual bad choices.

           I was perfectly lucid off of my medications.  I was in control.  Everything was going to be fine.

           I just needed to throw up once or twice a day. And I had a terrible headache. And my whole body ached.

           I’d been through worse.

           Karin dealt with the kids’ schooling and training, and brought me hot tea while I tried not to look like I was dying.

           Opium helped.

           “You look… better,” Karin commented a few days later, poking and prodding at me.

           I swatted her hands away.

           “Think you can run your empire on your own now?” she asked, sitting on the bed next to me.

           “Of course.”

           “Of course,” Karin agreed.  “Hey, Sasuke?”

           I let our eyes meet.

           “Suigetsu and I…”

           I felt a little stab in my chest.  They were leaving.

           “Don’t look like that.  We’re just thinking of basing ourselves in Kiri.  We’d still report in to you.  We’d still be part of Taka.”

           I didn’t know what to say.

           Say something honest.

           “I’d miss you,” I finally said.

           Karin teared up and threw her arms around me.

           “That wasn’t an invitation for a hug,” I muttered, trying to pry her off.

           “I kind of like the new un-medicated Sasuke,” she sniffed.

           “Hn.”

           “It won’t be right away.”

           “I don’t care.”

           “You obviously do, ya big softie.”

           “I take back everything I’ve said in this conversation.”

           “No take-sy back-sies.”

           “Why are you talking like a toddler?”

           “Because you’ve had me watching over your brood all week.”

           “They’re not mine.”

           “Oh, I see.  Is that why you don’t bother to learn their names or anything about them? So then you don’t have to feel responsible for them?”

           “Do you ever say anything that isn’t annoying?”

           “Yeah, all the time.”

           “Why am I never around at those times?”

           “You’re an asshole,” Karin said, smacking me in the arm.

           I frowned at her.

           “Well you are.  Anyway, it’s not looking good in Iwa, so I’ll head out tomorrow.”

           “Okay,” I assented.

           The withdrawal wasn’t as bad now, and I felt like I had overcome something.

           Naruto finally came home, sunny smiles and warm blue eyes.

           The kids went crazy, jumping all over him.

           I was the only one who could see the strain in his every movement.  The reports out of Kumo had not been favorable towards Naruto.

           “Enough,” I said, and the kids all froze.  “Naruto and I need to talk.”

           There were some whines of protest.

           I glared them away.

           “What’s up, baby?” Naruto asked as I closed the bedroom door behind us.

           “You tell me,” I said, studying his strained smile.

           “Whaddya mean?”

           I stared at him.

           It took about five seconds for his bottom lip to start trembling.

           I suddenly found myself with an armful of sniveling hokage.  “Hey,” I said, rubbing his back awkwardly.

           “Why are things like this?” he sniffed into my shoulder.

           “People are stupid.”

           “That’s your explanation for everything.”

           “Yeah, well.  People are stupid.”

           Naruto sniffed loudly.

           “Are you done?”

           “Sometimes I wish you were a little more comforting, ya know.”

           “I’m sorry.  Poor baby.”

           “Are you being sarcastic?  You sound sarcastic,” Naruto said, peeking up at me.

           “I was trying not to be…”

           “Yeah, yeah,” he said, putting his arms around my neck.  “Sorry I broke down like that.”

           “I like when you’re the mess,” I said, pushing his bangs from his eyes.  They’d gotten long.

           “I’m not a mess,” he complained, stealing a kiss.

           “You freak out when everyone in the world doesn’t love you.”

           “Sasuke, those people hate me.  For trying to help them.  I don’t get it, I really don’t get it.  They said that we’re secretly training child ninjas in Konoha while making all the other countries hold back their best and brightest because of the new Chuunin Age Restriction Law.  And they said I’m trying to destroy the clan system.  Just because of the Hyuuga thing, and eliminating the branch house and the main house system.  But Hinata came to me with that!  It was her idea!  I’m not interfering in the clans’ way of doing things!”

           “I know,” I said, sitting him on the bed. “Naruto.  People are stupid.”

           “You said that already,” he said, pouting up at me.

           I lowered myself onto his lap, resting my forehead against his.  “They don’t like change, even if it’s good for them.”

           “I don’t want to be hated,” he said quietly.

           “Then go downstairs and be with all those brats who love you more than anything.”

           He smiled a little.  “You were supposed to tell me that you don’t hate me.”

           “Now you’re telling me how to comfort you?”

           “As has been previously mentioned, you suck at being comforting, so…”

           “See if I ever try and be nice to you again,” I growled.

           “Nooo, be nice to me, please,” he whined, holding me tighter.

           I finally felt comfortable enough to throw my arms around him and cling.  “I love you,” I mumbled into his hair.

           “I love you, too,” Naruto said, because he always had to say it back, like a compulsion.  “I love you so much, baby.”

           “I’m not an infant,” I said, but my protests were getting tired.  Naruto knew if I didn’t want him calling me something, I would make it so he would never call me it again.  His superhuman healing abilities really came in handy.  He hadn’t even so much as tried to call me his ‘wife’ in years.

           “Mwah.”

           “Gross.”

           Naruto smiled, studying my face.  “Everything okay here while I was gone?”

           “Peachy keen.”

           He paused, looking at me more studiously.

           I stared back.

           “Okay, well I’m gonna go help Tori with-”

           “You’re going to take a nap.”

           “No, but-”

           “Naruto.  Please.”

           “I don’t see what the big deal is…”

           “The bags under your eyes are deeper than Itachi’s.”

           “I cannot possibly look that bad.”

           “Are you saying that my brother looked bad?”

           “No, he was a smoking hottie like you, but-”

           “I’m sorry, did you just say that my brother was a… ‘smoking’… ‘hottie’…?”

           “Well, yeah, but you see-”

           “Lay down.  Now.”

           “Whatever, bossypants.”

           “Why do you talk like a teenage girl?  You are thirty-two fucking years old.”

           “I don’t,” he whined, pulling off his pants before crawling under the sheet.

           “You know what, you’re right, that’s an insult to teenage girls everywhere who have a far better vocabulary and are significantly more intelligent.”

           “Bitch.”

           “Keep proving my point, Naruto.  Keep proving my point.”

           He snored in response.

           I rolled my eyes and went back downstairs.

           He was calmer after his nap, looking slightly less exhausted.  Of course he then opted to spend all his time doing things with the kids.

           I decided to draft Sakura a strongly-worded letter about sending Naruto out to soothe crowds of protestors.

           He came in while I was cooking dinner, stealing vegetables as I chopped them.

           I brandished the knife at him.

           Naruto smiled easily and took it from me, taking over the chopping.

           I felt about a million times better just having him near.  It was annoying how dependent I was on him.  Maiko had suggested I look at it in a different way.  It was comforting to have someone who could make me feel better just by being near.  Then she told me that codependency was awful, and that Naruto and I were the grossest couple she’d ever met.

           I didn’t disagree.

           “Why are you smiling, love?” Naruto asked, pushing a piece of tomato between my lips.

           I chewed on it.  “No reason.”

           “I’m smiling because I’m happy to be home.”

           “Okay…”

           “I saw B and them while I was in Kumo.”

           I was quiet.

           “They’re doing real good.”

           “That’s nice.”

           “Yeah,” he said, giving me a soft look.

           “Maybe they should come visit sometime,” I finally muttered.

           “That’d be nice.  Kurumi said she’d love to see you.”

           Naruto was supposed to be the one with the abandonment issues, not me.  I kept stirring the pot on the stove, not looking at him.

           “Oh, I got you something,” Naruto said, catching me around the waist and kissing my cheek.

           “Was that it?” I asked, looking unimpressed.

           “No, silly, you know I always have lotsa lovin’ for you,” he said, covering my face with kisses.

           I wrinkled my nose.

           “Say, ‘ahhh.’”

           I stared at him.

           Naruto pouted.

           I opened my mouth.

           He grinned, pushing something past my lips.

           I chewed on it thoughtfully.

           “Good, right?” he said, grinning.  “Not too sweet.”

           “It’s good,” I agreed, sucking on the bitter chocolate.

           “I thought you’d like it,” he said.  “I got some sweet ones for the kids.”

           “Thank you.”

           Naruto’s smile lit up his face, and he slipped the open box of chocolates in my pocket before going back to the vegetables.

           Being home seemed to be healing him.  The worry was starting to fade from his eyes, the tightness in his gait was loosening.  His smiles crinkled his eyes and made my stomach twist in the good kind of knots.

           After the little kids had gone to bed, Naruto decided it was a great time to regale the older kids with stories of his youth.

           “You sound like Lee,” I murmured, nestled into his side on the couch with a book on my lap.

           “I do not sound like Lee!” Naruto cried, flailing around.

           “I’m trying to read…”

           “Then stop interrupting my stories!”

           “Then stop talking about the ‘autumn of your youth’.”

           “Lee says springtime.  It’s clearly different.”

           “Clearly.”

           “Anyway.  Ahem. Like I was saying.  The Land of Waves.  There I was, facing off with Haku!”

           “I was there, too, idiot.”

           “Read your damn book!”

           “Hn.”

           “Yeah, yeah, so he was using his kekkei genkai. Those ice mirrors were no joke, but somehow Sasuke could see them, right?”

           “That’s when he awoke his sharingan!” Mari piped in. She’d heard the story before, but was for some reason not completely bored by it like I was.

           “You got it!” Naruto said enthusiastically. “So Haku looks into those swirly red eyes, and is like, ‘oh, shit.’”

           “I don’t think he said that,” I interjected.

           “It’s what he was thinking!  God, do you have to keep messing with the flow of my storytelling?!”

           “Sorry, please continue.”

           “Thank you.  Yeah.  So. Anyway.  He decided that since Sasuke was cheating with his magic eyes, that he’d go after me, the love interest.”

           “You were not my love interest at twelve.”

           “Liiiar.”

           “You’re bad at telling stories…” one of the boys murmured, and Naruto got affronted.

           I pretended to read my book.

           “This is the best part, okay?!” Naruto said, flailing around and making it very uncomfortable to be pressed into his side.

           I slid my fingers into his hair, rubbing soothingly.

           “We’re listening!” Mari said, eyes glowing. “Haku attacked you.”

           “Right, so he launches his attack, and there’s just no way for me to know where it’s coming from.  I thought it was over.  I thought I was dead.”

           “And then Sasuke jumped in front of you and took the attack!” Mari said.

           “Yes!” Naruto said, taking his hand off of my thigh and grasping Mari’s hand.  “He said that his body just moved on its own.”

           “That’s so like him,” Mari said, the two of them grinning at each other like mad.

           “I thought he was dead.  The light went out of his eyes.  His whole body just went limp.”

           “And then Kurama took over your body!”

           The boys got interested in the story again.

           “Did you use the Nine-Tails Chakra Mode?”

           “This was before Kurama and I were friends,” Naruto explained.  “So it was more of him possessing my body, and making me go batshit crazy.”

           “What?!”

           I listened to Naruto talk, occasionally scratching behind his ear.  He would lean in and nuzzle the top of my head that rested against his shoulder. My little puppy dog.

           The kids were rapt as Naruto remembered punching Haku through his mirrors and breaking the jutsu.  They weren’t that excited at hearing that I had survived the near-death experience.

           “We already knew that he lived,” one of the boys pointed out.

           “So is that when you knew that you were in love?” Mari asked.

           “It was when I realized how much Sasuke meant to me,” Naruto said, kissing the top of my head.

           “It was when I realized what a hindrance Naruto was.”

           “Oh my god, jerk, say something nice for once!”

           “Physically incapable.”

           “You’re setting a bad example!”

           I looked at the way that Mari’s eyes were shining.  I didn’t like this newfound streak of romanticism budding up in her.  She wasn’t a lost and lonely 7-year-old girl anymore, and someday she was going to grow up and leave the house.

           I was so selfish.

           Naruto yawned loudly.  “I’m going to bed.”

           “But you didn’t finish telling us about Zabuza!”

           “Tomorrow, okay?  I’m beat.”

           “All right…”

           Naruto stood up and stretched.  He looked down at me.  “You coming?”

           I bookmarked the page in my book and followed him up the stairs.

[misssunflowersandsangria]

Adorned in Green

Thanks for the ask @sehuntema .  Hope that you like it!

Shikamaru leaned against the wall hidden in the shadows scowling annoyed and upset. He was sure that he was supposed to be mingling and promoting unity and peace between the nations and whatever other bullshit a state representative was supposed to do. He couldn’t find any motivation within him to even act interested in such things. His mind was solely focused on the vision of emerald and gold just beyond his reach. When Naruto had told him about Suna's state dinner he was so excited to see his Sand Goddess that he had failed to remember that she was their Sand Princess.  Tonight Temari played into that role quite well. She was a dream draped in the finest silks of jade that tried to compete with the green of her eyes. Precious jewels complemented the gold that naturally crowned her head.  She was in her element, in a position and place that was worthy of her.  

She was regal, gracious and welcoming to people who had come from all over the five great nations. She’d explained to him how important it was for Suna. This was their opportunity to show how much they’d progressed as a nation under Garra's leadership. She also wanted him there as moral support. She was very good at rubbing elbows with these people but hated it all the same. He should be right there next to her whispering words of encouragement but right now he was sulking in the dark.  

This was better for both of them because if he had to watch one more Lord, head of state or whoever stare, fuss and fawn over her he would start an international incident. 

There was a particular one that was asking for it. He looked like a squid which made sense because he was someone from the Land of Waves.  Besides, he looked slimy.   He watched as the squid reached up one of his tentacles to touch her exposed shoulder but was stopped in his tracks. Temari turned immediately towards him leveling him a stormy look but Shikamaru wasn’t moved, he was annoyed and upset and he wanted her to know it. The Lord seemed confused about why he was suddenly stopped and Temari took a step back excusing herself.  She passed by Shikamaru wordlessly to the balcony. Once she was outside and out of his clutches, he released his shadow causing the Lord to fall forward on his face. He smirked then followed after her. 

 “That didn’t last long.” Naruto laughed to the redhead Kazekage.  They'd been watching this play out for a while.  

“Well that particular Lord deserved it. He’s been inquiring about courting her for a while, incessantly, despite Nara’s claim. And the fact that he’s old enough to be our father.” 

“It’s been pretty amusing to see all these confused people coming to dead stops around her.” Any person that came within a foot of her that Shikamaru didn’t know found themselves trapped in his shadow jutsu. The Hokage wasn’t sure whether his friend realized that he was doing it or if it was a gut reaction to keep her safe.

“Hopefully once they’re married this will be less of a problem.”  Temari could be just as jealous and he'd seen her have some not so friendly conversations with different women all night.

“I doubt it, Hinata and I have been married for a while now but I still find myself sending clones to watch her from the shadows but I'm pretty sure that she knows by now."

They shared a laugh but ultimately Garra was happy for his sister.  She’d found someone who would love, care for and protect her, it was the most that he could wish for his sister.  

 “Want to explain to me why you’re being such an asshole tonight?”  Temari demanded the wind whipping around her. Even while in the throes of her anger she was still so dazzling.  He’d been rendered completely still and speechless when he’d first seen her that night.  He was used to her wearing her regular Shinobi garb.  Delicate fabrics wrapped tightly around her, priceless jewels, and exposed skin were overloading his senses.  He wanted to tear off that green dress for a number of reasons, but also because it was replacing all his images of her and that would be distracting in his daily life. He'd always known that she was gorgeous with her sandy blonde hair and teal eyes but to have it so highlighted and on display tonight was killing him.  It only made him more annoyed that other people got to behold her beauty like this, which was meant only for him.  

“Why? Did you want to dance with that guy?”  He replied harshly leaning against the wall.  He really wished that he could smoke.  

She glared at the response.  “Are you serious right now? Do you think that I'm enjoying this?  I’m Suna’s Princess, this is part of my job. Besides if you weren’t sulking in the corner you could have been right there with me instead of trapping everyone in your shadows like some petty child.”

Surprised she was caught in his shadow and placed against the wall his warm body caging her in.  She knew that she had pushed him and that he was upset but a part of her was thrilled to be 'trapped' like this.  She could overpower him if she wanted but she was safe and she wanted to see what he would do. 

“Yes, you may be their princess, but you’re mine. Call it possessive or chauvinistic if you want but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re mine and no one else gets to touch you.”  In any other situation with any other person, she would have destroyed him but this was her Shikamaru, her usually calm, lazy nin. To see him so fierce and passionate, his normally soft eyes firey only made her feel wanted.  She reached forward his shadows allowing her to move so that she could wrap her arms around his neck.

“Shika, I love you, only you. These other people, Lords, shinobi or whoever doesn’t matter to me.  I’m here with you, I'm wearing your clan’s crest sewn into this dress against my heart. You’re mine, just as much as I am yours, never forget that.”  He picked her up to pull her into a kiss her legs wrapping around his waist, desperately needing to remind himself that no one could take her away. They’d been through too much together to ever be apart.  He’d happily start a war if he needed to, just to keep her.

He scattered kisses along her neck in apology not caring if they left marks for the world to see.  “I’m sorry. You’re an important figure to Suna and I’ll have to share you sometimes, but it doesn’t mean that I have to like it. But, I can learn to handle it better.”  He mumbled knowing that he was being childish and that this wouldn't be the first time.

Her hands gently played with his hair.  “That’s why I wanted you here. I want people to know that you’re the most important person in my life.  That I chose you and I’m proud to stand next to you.”

“Really?”  He asked unsure.

Temari kissed him sweetly.  “Baby, we’ve gotta work on your confidence.  You’re the Hokage’s adviser, you’re from a storied, respected clan, your jutsu is strong, your contributions during the war are known far and wide.  You are good, kind and loyal. I had to put my claim on you before someone else tried to take you from me. Never think that you’re less than anyone in that room.  I’m lucky that you’re mine.” She assured him kissing him fiercely and possessively. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t seen the ladies of Suna eyeing him while he pouted and sulked.  He looked incredibly handsome tonight clothed in a fitted suit that she had specially made for him that incorporated traditional Suna fashion. She was glad that he didn’t realize how attractive he was or else she’d have a lot more talking to's by the council because of her behavior.  

After a few more kisses, and shared promises about what the night would hold for them after the event they returned to the ballroom and he remained steadfast by her side.  He was charming and intelligent, his presence only elevating the guests’ feelings and experiences in Suna. He wanted Temari to shine and so he reflected all the greatness and glory that was within her.   His hand was warm and ever-present on her back, his figure looming over her like a shadow. She felt safe and protected under his watchful gaze and no one dared cross his path. He may not particularly enjoy politics but he knew how to play the game well.  By the end of the night, no one could question her choosing him, a ninja from another village with little title or status, as her mate.  

 “I think that we’ve gotta invite you to these things more often Nara. People were impressed.” Kankuro toasted him before they both took a drink. The guests had all left but the Konoha delegation remained along with the Sand siblings for the after-party.  Temari seated comfortably in Shikamaru’s lap playing with his hair while the group enjoyed more food and drinks relaxing by a fire under the desert sky. 

“I had to pick up a lot of broken hearts after they found out you were with my sister and after she threatened to exile them from the country,” Kankuro added with a grin knowing that she’d take the bait. 

“Shut up Kankuro.” She growled about to jump and attack her brother till Shikamaru’s arms wrapped around her waist pulling her back into his lap. 

“Didn’t know you felt that way about me Trouble.” He teased her and Kankuro took that as his opportunity to get out of harm’s way. 

She pouted and blushed before ducking her face into his neck. 

“I wasn’t jealous.”  She mumbled. He just chuckled before turning her gaze back towards him.  She couldn’t help but smile at the way his eyes shined in amusement. He was very much her Prince.  While she had no illusions of what being a Princess meant for her she couldn't help but feel that she had earned him and their fairy tale. 

“I love you.”  He told her simply and while she’d heard those words many times before they always filled her such an immense feeling of joy.  

“I love you too.”  It wasn’t always easy being with the Suna Princess, famed Sand Kunoichi and wind mistress, but he wouldn’t trade her for the world.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21393019