#but like technically i could probably pack up and move tomorrow i just dont think it would be the most financially wise decision

[stellardeer]

At least once a month or more I go through an "I need to move right now" crisis and start looking at houses and fantasizing about being able to afford them

[fallingfor-fics]

Teachers Pet- chapter 1: Hogwarts express

All chapters

prologue

"Ok so once you get everything secured on your cart all you have to do is locate the correct platform, which is 9 ¾ , don't go to the wrong one or you may seriously hurt yourself, once you find it stand about 20 feet away and run straight through, easy as that!" she said as we still sat in the car. "Wait. You're not coming with me to see me on the train?" I asked my mother, clearly shocked she would just expect me to do it on my own the first time.

 "Oh you'll be fine! You're almost 17 if you can't do this, how can I trust you to be ok by yourself, plus I need to get to the new house and start unpacking!" she said as if it was all no big deal and unpacking was more important than my wellbeing. "how do you know so much about all of this stuff anyway? I don't wanna be rude but what if you have your information incorrect and I get transported to like, I don't know Brazil?" I questioned. Oh yeah, my mother was a muggle, which was the only downside about moving away from my father, I had no mentor, no one to tell me what i'm doing right or wrong. "Don't be so dramatic I promise you all my information is correct I got very detailed instructions from Albus and your father." she retorted. I sat there not looking at her and just keeping my gaze ahead at the crowds of people. I played with my fingers and chewed the inside of my lip trying to distract from the almost nauseous feeling I had in my stomach. "Well are you gonna get out and go? You don't wanna be too late." she asked annoyed and staring me down waiting for me to move or speak or even breathe. I didn't realize I had been holding my breath. "It's a Sunday. I don't think I can technically be late for anything." I responded. "Mmm well still I wanna get to the new house while theres still daylight" she said unlocking the car door to try and encourage me to get the fuck out. "It's noon I think you'll have plenty of time." I remarked. "Merlin y/n get the hell out of my car and go!" she said lightly shoving my arm clearly annoyed with my behavior. "Fine! Damn!" I said frustrated she wasn't being more understanding. I took a deep breath and opened the car door, stepping out and breathing in the putrid air that wafted from the train station. "God why does it smell like ass here" I said sarcastically but with genuine wonderment. "Muggles" my mother responded. "Hmm great" I responded, putting the letter from Dumbledore and my wand in my bag and putting it over my shoulder and across my chest. I reached in the car and grabbed my belongings. "What if someone sees me?" I asked, leaning down to look at her. "They won't, they can't," she said, not making eye contact distracted by who knows what. "Mm ok cool" I said slamming the door shut. She rolled down the window and gave me a "really" look. "Bye darling you are gonna be just fine, and you can write to me if you ever need anything!" she said practically already pulling out of the parking spot. "Ok sounds good" I said very unenthusiastically. "Love you!" I shouted as she pulled out and began to drive away. "Love you too!" she said waving her hand out of her window and practically zooming off.

   I sighed, still standing in the parking lot and staring at the loads of people. Trying to calm my nerves and get the energy to move my feet. I reached down and grabbed my suitcases and headed up towards the station. "Ok platform 6, 7, 8, andddd 9. Where is it?" I said talking quietly to myself. I stood there looking around. I kept walking a bit more and eventually found it. "Wait which wall do I run through?" I thought out loud. I guess it's the one with the sign attached, I sure hope so. If I end up running into a literal brick wall I may just have to turn myself into a roach and get stepped on. I didn't see any carts but figured I didn't really need one. I only had two suitcases I could manage. I stepped 20 feet back from the wall and looked around at all of the people, they didn't seem to pay any attention to me, or even see me for that matter. I exhaled a breath of air I had been holding in and tightened my grip on my luggage. I stared the wall down and took my stance. I dont know if I can do this I thought to myself as I kept staring at this stupid wall. I took another deep breath and told myself I'd go on three. "One" I held my luggage close to me. "Two" I closed my eyes and got ready. "THREE" I hollered and sprinted as fast as I could not opening my eyes the whole way. I opened my eyes and saw that I was still in one piece. "Holy. Fuck." I said to myself. That was totally insane. I can't believe it worked! I felt a slight spark of joy that I was able to do it on my own. I had always been pretty independent, others usually relied on me so I wasn't too shocked I got through. "Ok now I need to get on the train and take the nine hour ride all the way to hagwarts" I snickered. I mean Hogwarts. I let out a breath and found a door to get onto the train. I stepped into the Hogwarts express and found a seat alone. I closed my door and set my luggage down on the seat across from me. My mother told me the train would probably be pretty empty, which she was right about.

   I opened my bag and found an envelope that I didn't remember putting in there. It had my name on it in my mothers handwriting. I used my finger to open it up and pull the paper out from it, along fell a small pouch that felt sort of heavy and jingled. I opened it up and saw a good amount of galleons. I looked at the letter in my hand and began to read it. As soon as I did I felt the train begin to move and realized it was officially happening and in nine hours, give or take, I was gonna be at a new school. I sighed and read what my mother had written.

Dear y/n

I know you have always been very hard headed and strong, and very very stubborn, but I also know this means you are very capable. But I didn't want to leave you in control of the reins completely until you get to know your new surroundings. I have put a pouch of coins in this envelope so you can go to the so called Hogsmeade and buy yourself a uniform and any books you may need. Don't worry about rushing to get it all done alone today. I have informed Albus and he will get you all settled tomorrow.

I know this may be scary but I also know you are more than ready. If you have any questions Albus will be there to help. I'm sure you will be very excited to see him again.

Best of luck,

Mom

Hmm wow ok that's pretty nice of her. A little shocked not gonna lie. And I was for sure excited to see Dumbledore. I hadn't seen him in three years but we were always very close. He was more of my grandfather than my real ones were. He would send holiday and birthday cards  to my sister and I all the time. I took some comfort knowing he was going to be there. I put the letter and the coin pouch back into my bag and took my wand out. Holding it my hand as I laid across the seat and closed my eyes. Hoping I could just sleep the whole way there, I was so tired from all the speed packing today, so that's exactly what I did.

[likeiwouldbedoinghomework]

I dont remember being so stressed i felt sick for a the week leading up to my move OUT of the States...but now, I'm getting on the plane tomorrow to go back to the States, and I feel so nauseous. Even though I'm almost done wrapping up all the technicalities and paperwork on this end of things, and that in itself felt like a mountain of stuff to do, I still have SO much I have to do even as soon as I touch foot down on the ground in the States. Look for a job, gotta find something with good benefits cuz I'm on my own with that now, what if I find a job that's going to destroy me inside and kill my spirit, but I can't leave because I need the money? I dont want to live in my family's house indefinitely, and I want to move in with my dear friends as roommates, like I've promised, but there are already maybe other options opening themselves to me? But are they the right ones? I need a car but the pension im getting from leaving this job isn't a FORTUNE and I need to save it and spend smartly. Any job I think I could actually really like and stay in for an extended amount of time will probably require more education or trade school which will cost MORE money.

AND I'm still worried my stuff still isn't actually going to fit inside my luggage for tomorrow. And what if after all this headache trying to get everything packed and ready to fly, when I get to the airport, WHAT IF my luck just runs right out and I somehow miraculously test positive for COVID??? I'll have to quarantine in specialized facilities! What will happen with my flight??? Will I be reimbursed or rescheduled for a week later? Will I just LOSE that money and have to buy a new flight?? And after everything, I still have to wait a couple weeks/a month before that pension money comes into my account! I'm not smart enough for this. I cant budget, im not savvy enough to live.

I feel like I'm gonna throw up and cry.

[4lix]

restless nights; lee minho

[listening to] .... babybaby; suran 

Hi bubs, may I request a college au with Minho where the reader works at the coffee shop on campus (saving money because college is expensive af) and Minho having no sleep needs coffee, bus is awakened by the beauty of the reader?

can you do coffee shop minho but he’s like, totally not coffee shop material haha like he’s a dancer or something and school isn’t his thing and hes just really flirty?? if that makes sense????? thank you!!!! <3 

okay so these two were a bit similar

so me and my third eye decided to combine them 

bc coffee au x college au WITH MINHO? bitch its an experience 

so basically as the struggling college student you are who is living off of ramen noodles and the potato chips you found in the back of your cabinet last semester, you decided to get a job

but lets get real who the hell wants to work 

luckily the sweet old lady who owns the cafe down the block from your campus recently decided to go 24 hours

which meant more shifts available 

and meant you could maybe eat something besides ramen noodles and god was that a blessing. 

luckily you had afternoon classes, so working the night shift wasn’t an issue, plus it was only ever just you and a few customers, so the shift was quiet, peaceful, and you could get extra studying in when customers weren’t bothering you. 

for months working there it was peaceful, almost too peaceful, on the verge of being mind-numbingly boring

the only people who ever came in were miserable college students and old men who played bingo in the back 

until a week before finals, a boy who looked like he hasn’t slept in a billion years came stumbling inside, making all types of noise and heavy rap music blasting through his headphones, ruining the previously peaceful atmosphere

he doesn’t look like the type of boy to be in a coffee shop

he had this rugged look about him, hair an absolute mess and shoved inside of a beanie messily, his clothing a bit oversized and hanging off his body, and an adidas duffel bag alongside his backpack hanging off his shoulders 

probably an athlete of some sort 

he was your only customer you had all night 

the boy clearly lacked sleep, after he threw all his shit on a random table in the corner of the cafe, he stumbled over towards the counter eyes lazily meeting yours

as cliche as it is, the moment his eyes landed on your face, it’s like a surge of energy ran through his body 

he immediately straightened his figure, clearing his throat before trying to smile nicely, his previously pale face warming up to a shade of pretty pink

“h-hi..” he mutters nervously, and you greet him nicely with what you’ve been trained to say to everyone that walks in.

“hello! what can i get for you tonight? we’re doing a promotion for our night owls, free refills on all lattes after midnight!” you say with a bright smile and you swear you see him melt right then and there before he shakes his head and lets out of small laugh

“honestly, i don’t even really like coffee.” he admits and you turn your head in a bit of confusion

“so what exactly are you doing at a coffee shop?” you ask amusedly, and the boy with eye bags deeper than oceans looks up to meet eyes with you and maybe it was you melted that this time

he was... cute, dare you say the cutest boy you’ve ever seen, although you know most people wouldn’t consider this look he was sporting to be too attractive... i mean the boy had a hole in his shirt and his hair looks like it hasn’t been brushed in days

“well there’s one thing i hate more than coffee.” he says simply, taking off his beanie briefly and running his fingers through his hair 

and just fuck it killed you 

“it’s getting kicked off the dance team because i’m failing organic chemistry. also now that i’m here, a pretty face like yours is definitely a reason to stick around” he says with a wink. 

god where the hell did this boy come from 

it was ass o clock and he clearly hadn’t slept in what looked like days but the flirtatious parts of his brain were working harder than the u.s marines.  

you stammered on your next words, cheeks dusting a slight pink, “u-uh-””

“i just need something that will wake me up, i have a quiz at noon tomorrow and i haven’t studied at all, whip me up something real good yeah?”

in with that he drops a bill on the table, saying a quick keep the change babe before he winks one last time, turns around and heads back to his seat

well its safe to say your kidney imploded 

why was he so ridiculously attractive? 

you couldn’t even move for a few moments after he walked away, and you swore you heard chuckles coming from his corner of the cafe, the little shit was amused by it all wasn’t he?

shaking your head, you start queueing up an order for your favorite latte on the menu with the most amount of caffeine possible. the boy looked dead, he’d need lots of it.

how exactly were you going to even give the boy his damn drink

even pushing the buttons for placing his order had your face burning red 

nonetheless you make the drink to the best of your ability, never bothering to care about measurements but fuck when its a customer that beautiful? suddenly you love your job, call you the world’s finest barista. 

while the coffee brewed, you couldn’t help but gaze dazedly at the boy across the room. 

he came here to study but it looked like he was already knocked out cold, head resting in his arms, his face completely exposed and you just abashedly admired his charms and beauty from afar. 

when the drink was finally done, you almost didn’t want to move his figure, but if the mountain of papers next to his body was anything to go by, he needed to be up and working.

you nudge him slightly, “white chocolate mocha with five shots of espresso.” you state simply, proud of yourself for not stuttering

his eyes slowly open, falling onto you and the cup in your hands 

he smiles kindly at you, thanking you before taking the drink out of your hands 

“let me know if you like it, if there’s any changes you want made I can fix it no problem!” thank goodness for all the training and practice you’ve had saying your directed lines, if it wasn’t for the training you’d probably be stumbling over every syllable. 

he takes a sip, and instantly his eyes widen.

“woah, i don’t even like coffee, but this is fucking amazing.” he compliments and you smile at him gratefully before taking your leave back behind the counter

the rest of the night is slow, just the sound of the boy typing away at his computer and the occasional turn of a page as you try to cram through reading a literature essay. 

“ahem”

you look up, it’s the boy again, a mischiveous smile on his face 

“could i get that refill?” he asks but there’s a lilt to his voice, something that makes you feel like he’s onto something, but you just nod regardless, turning around and whipping it up for him

he takes it thankfully and winks again

you go back to your essay 

fifteen minutes pass, and you hear footsteps walking towards the front counter again

“refill?” he says with a grin and you tilt your head slightly, “i just gave you one?” 

“i already finished it, it’s free refills after midnight right?” 

“well yeah but-”

“okay so i’d like a refill on my white chocolate mocha latte with five shots of espresso.” he says with a stupid grin and you find yourself getting slightly annoyed with the boy and his antics but nonetheless you turn around and prepare another drink for him

this goes on for another hour

you’ve made him like eight drinks

and god knows how he hasn’t exploded from all the liquid in his system

it isn’t until 4am, just an hour before your shift ends that the boy finally rises out of his seat, nine drinks later, stretching 

he begins packing up his stuff and you can’t tell if you’re relieved or kind of upset that he’s leaving. 

he stops by the counter one last time before he goes, sliding a paper your way 

“y’know i ordered all those drinks in hopes that you’d write your number down on one of them, but, seems like you didn’t get my drama reference.” that dumb smirk is back on his face and your face is burning up again, a laugh slipping past your lips

“instead of abusing me at work like this, you could’ve just asked for my number, you know that right? i went through like a pound of coffee beans and a carton of creamer because of you.” 

“and to think every cup was delicious to the last drop... you need a raise, really.” he slides a piece of paper toward you, “text me and maybe i can make you coffee next time?”

“you dont even like coffee, do you even know how to make it?” 

“i’ll learn.” 

“just for me? wow what a charmer you are.” 

“i get that a lot.” he winks 

“is your eye okay? you’ve winked like fifty times tonight.” you tease

“technically it’s morning.”

“technically you’re irritating.” 

he chuckles at your sassiness.

“you’re cute. ... y/n?” he reads your nametag 

“hate to say it but you’re kind of cute too.....” you hesitate for a moment, realizing you dont know his name

“minho, lee minho, i gotta get going, but text me, or else i’m coming back here tomorrow and i’m gonna order a hundred cups this time.” 

“i’m going to ban you from ever coming back to this cafe.”

“you’d never.”

“what makes you so sure of that?”

“well, if you did, who would you stare at all night if i wasn’t here?” for fucks sake he winks again and even makes a kissy face before throwing his backpack over his shoulder

“text me!” is all he shouts before leaving and you cup your face trying to calm the heat in your cheeks

you do text him, in fact you talk for hours, but he still decides to come to bother you for another night and it seemingly never ends as minho becomes a regular at the cafe.

you aren’t complaining though, the night shift isn’t so lonely with him here. 

let’s talk! („ᵕᴗᵕ„) [cc] https://curiouscat.me/chansmaid

[twitter] https://twitter.com/9lovelys

[voidszoro]

In Denial // A Theo Raeken story

Chapter 6

Theo's pov:  (warning, a bit of violence in Theo's pov but none in Ruby's so if you want you can skip theos pov) (also update, Ruby's pov contains some hints of depression, anxiety, and mentions self harm. If you can't read, trust me, i completely understand. It was hard writing. All i want to say is that if you need help, if you are thinking of harming yourself in anyway, please ask for help. My messages are always open if you don't feel comfortable talking to anyone. I Promise i dont judge. Take care. Here is the chapter xoxo)

The dream always starts off the same way.

I wake up in the morgue. The box in which I lay is tight and dark, but beyond my feet, an infinite abyss streches out. I raise my arms over my head and push open the door to the box. It slams into the other boxes on the side and I take my arms out so I can push myself out. The cold metal trey that holds me slides out of the box and two legs, almost like a table, swing out from underneath the trey keeping me from falling on the hard tile floor. I sit up on my trey, finally out of the box and take a breath of fresh air.

The dream Isn't over yet.

I place my bare feet on the tiles and lift myself to a stand. The cool air in the morgue sends chills through my half naked body. I only wear a thin pair of basketball shorts. A woman's voice echos my name throughout the room. It repeats over and over and I get the feeling of it drawing me into it. I start to walk out of the room, pushing open the two swinging doors, but I hesitate. I know what's coming, but everytime I try to fight back, I fail. The voice rings louder as I push the doors open anyway, knowing there's no way out but through her. My sister. 

I walk down to the end of the hallway, each step I take feeding me more fear than the last.

"Theo," the voice gets louder and louder as I get closer to the end. I take a stop once coming to the end of the hallway and in front of the check in desk of the hospital.

"Theo!" The voice growls from behind me. I snap around and see what I dreaded. A teenage girl, about my age,  crawls towards me on her hands and knees. Her gaze pierces through my horrified eyes as I look down at her chest. Her rib cages poke out of her and there is an empty spot in the middle. That is where her heart would be.

This is my punishment. I deserve this for doing it to her.

She finally reaches me and I can't move a single muscle in my body like I've been poisoned by canima venom. My sister drags me down by the heel and crawls on top of me, her gaze not once faltering. The horror on my face spreads to my whole body as I scream at the top of my lungs. She takes her hand and plunges into my center which makes me squirm and scream louder. She digs around in my chest for a second until she pulls out my heart. The blood from the organ drips everywhere as she puts it inside of her own chest. She shouts at me with almost the same power as Lydia, a banshee.

"Helloooo" I hear another voice in my head. I shake my head, finding myself standing in front of Scott's front door, a hand wavig in front of my face.

"Theoooo, you still alive over there?" I nod my head.

"Yeah, sorry I was just thinking." I rub the wrinkles on my forehead caused by my furrowed brows.

"Pretty vivid thought huh? You were blank for a good minute there." She reaches out for my hand. Why is she being so nice to me?

I take her hand in mine and then squeeze it in three short intervals. She smiles at me and we stand there for a good thirty seconds until she finally lets go of my sweaty hand and opens the door.

Everyone is here. Well, everyone that is left. The wild hunt has taken almost everyone in Beacon Hills. Ruby finishes explaining my reason for being here and I step further into the small, tidey home. There are photos lining the walls right when you walk in, like a story. They hang neatly and precise. Some pictures have multiple people in them, some are just some yearbook photos of Scott. Unfortunately, I don't spend long admiring the delicate memories of Scott's family when Ruby pulls my hand and drags me fully into the living room. A tall man stands in the room, and I immediately recognize him, but Ruby takes a minute.

"Who's he?" She asks.

Scott replies, "It's Peter. As in Peter Hale." Ruby's eyes go wide for a second.

"Ohhh. How could I forget? You. Evil bitch."

"Hey, hey, hey. No need for any language Ruby. I'm actually here to help. I know where Stiles is."

RUBYS POV:

Of course I don't completely trust Peter. I never will. Even though, technically, he's my alpha. He's the one who bit me. The morning after Scott got bit. When I started taking morning jogs.

"What makes you think I belive you? What do you want in return?" My voice echos through the silent room.

"In return, I would like you to trust me. You know, I bit you for a reason. I needed a pack. I needed more power. But- but that doesn't matter anymore. All I ask is that you help me help you save Stiles so we can get Malia out too." His eyes are full of sincerity. I feel bad for him. He loves Malia. I know it.

I remember as soon as he found out that she was his daughter, he had some sort of scent to him. I've never smelt it before and it reminded me of pride and happiness mixed together.

"We'll get her out I promise," Scott is the one to speak this time. Peter might be my only chance to see Stiles again. To get him back. I know Lydia feels the same. She probably misses him more than I. I've seen the way the two look at eachother. It's mesmerizing to watch. It's love.

We go through our idea of finding another rip in the two dimensions, the wild hunt and earth. Part of me thinks we have no hope. I feel like I'm the only one who thinks that. Everyone just seems so confident in everything. Especially Scott. That's why after the pack meeting. I go home and take a long, hot shower.

The water burns my skin to the touch when I step into the wet oasis. I left Theo in my room. Unoccupied, which is probably not a good idea, but I don't  acknowledge it at the moment. I'm only focused on the burning feeling. The feeling not only on the surface of my skin, but on the inside. I feel the left over bits of passion from today start to melt away at the heat. My body tenses up, but only for a second. I close my eyes and drift off into bliss. The water running all the way down my bare body. I run my fingers through my hair and breath in the steam that accumulates in the shower with me. My mind starts racing as my body finally gets used to the warmth of the water. I think, what would my life be like if I was only human. What would my life be like without Stiles.

And then the memories flood my head, making me slightly dizzy.

(Once again, warning)

I'm sitting on my bed, a knife in my hand. I remember this day. I was exausted. I had had an anxiety attack in class that day. Everyone looked at me weird when the teacher asked if I was alright. My breaths were shallow but quick. Stiles saw me immediately and dragged me out of class. I remember his voice apologizeing to the teacher. He carries me into the girls locker room, I'm still taking quick breaths. My heartbeat increased by a million from the time I was in the class to the time I was proped up against the shower walls. Stiles had delt with my attacks before but not at school. He gets them too sometimes. He was trying everything to get me to clam down. He squeezed my nose and coverd my mouth, trying to get me to hold my breath. It obviously didn't work. I was squirming everywhere. Until I wasn't moving. The only movement was my chest moving up and down and the water that now coverd my entire body. The water even got on Stiles' clothes. He turned the shower on. The warm water engulfed me like a volcano of relief.

When Stiles walked me down the hallways to the outside of school where the Sheriff's car sat, the bell rang. Everyone in their classes came flooding outside. I was drenched in school locker room shower water and I look like I almost drowned. Everyone stared. Everyone's eyes stayed glued to me as Stiles had to forcefully drag me outside to the ride he called.

Dad dropped us home and Stiles stayed with me until seven. I remember, because immediately after he left my room, I looked at the clock as I pulled the knife out of my drawer.  Every part of me begging to take some of the pain away. I wasn't a wolf yet, didn't even know about that stuff. I didn't want to just get high, partially because I didn't know how to, it was 8th grade. I had made the decision earlier that day. I had had too many embarrassing moments during the three years of my middle school carrier. I couldn't get away from myself.

I lifted my shirt to reveal the scars on my stomach. They were almost gone. I was going to be one month clean tomorrow. Not anymore.

(Okay we good now)

I jolt back to reality in the shower. The water is turning colder the longer I stay inside. I finish my normal shower routine and switch the water off. I grab a towel from its hanger in the bathroom, dry off a bit, and wrap it around my cold body. I look up at the fogged mirror and see a smiley face drawn in the steam and "-T". I let out a giggle.

A giggle, seriously? My inner voice complains. I remember what I'm doing, which is putting clothes on, and do that.

Once im fully dressed im my comfy black leggings, blue tee shirt, and some white ankle socks with a check on the side, I step out of the steamy room. A chill sweeps through me. I quickly race to the thermostat and turn the temperature up a hell of a lot. Theo must've turned it down.

I walk into my room, seeing Theo sitting on my bed. His legs hang off as he faces me. This reminds me of the last time he was sitting like this, a few weeks ago when I let him stay in the spare room.

It's only four o'clock.

"I'm starving," I realize out loud. Theo keeps his gaze on me. For some reason, he seems to be analyzing me. I grab his hand and pull him up so he's standing. "My dad's gonna be home at five, let's get you something to eat."

Once in the kitchen, we rummage through the kitchen for any signs of food. Apparently, nobody in Beacon Hills, no pay check for the Sheriff. That also means no groceries.

I hear the front door creak open and then slam shut.

"Hey, anybody home?" My dad shouts from the living room. I go wide eyed at Theo. Dad's not the biggest fan of this boy who went to hell.

"Yeah, um- wait. I'm not wearing pants!" I shout and Theo shoots me a devious glare. Yep. There's the boy who went to hell.

"Why- Ruby." He takes a deep breath. I'm never gonna live this down.

"Just stay there, dad. Let me go upstairs." Unfortunately for me, the stairs were in the living room. "Can you cover your eyes?" He grunts a response which I take as a yes. I put a finger to my mouth and direct it at Theo. Then I signal him to follow me. He does.

I give it a few minutes upstairs before I come back down. My dad stands awkwardly in the kitchen.

"There's no food." I say. "Wanna order a pizza? It has to be that place outside of Beacon Hills."

Hii again. It's em. How was this chapter?? Also hello new readers ily sm. Ooh i have a questionnn what's your favorite pizza topping? Mine's cheese and extra cheese. Xoxo -em

Wc: wow 2171♡

[smolchildren-ily]

CAREFUL! VERY GRAPHIC AT TIMES!!!! Can be triggering for people who lost pets :(

Yesterday you crossed the rainbow bridge. Susi. A name I gave you just for fun. You, a random cat who kept stopping by and who ended up having her on basket on our terrace, sheltered from the wind underneath the table. You, who, without me knowing, grew really attached to my heart. I bought food for you passionately, I did, as weird as it may sound, I was eager to go shopping for you and I was so happy every time I could feed you because I saw how happy it made you. Unlike our two 'actual' cats who just ever complain, dont eat up or just straight up leave the food the way we put it in the bowl. I would be even happier when I could give you their leftovers because it meant you would have an extra full belly that day. I made sure to always provide you with dry food, too, always filled up the bowl when it was empty - which it was a lot, but a handful of other cats come by, too, I know. Also your brothers, or at least those who I call your brothers, because often times after I would have given you food you licked it a bit and then vanished just to return with Oliver and "Lackl" behind you. I felt like you always made sure they also got a full belly, even more than you yourself, actually, and that is the reason why you kept getting them. Now, with you gone, they have no more lead, and they will never know where you disappeared to or why their beloved sister left them. I feel so sorry for them, too. But they still stop by, just an hour ago both came here together. I will feed them in your stead. I will give them one pack extra, the pack that used to be for you. I loved you so much and I didnt even realize until I saw you motionless, like you were sleeping, in the absolute middle of the street in front of our house, but hidden behind big bushes so I couldn't see you. I couldn't help you. When the lady with the dog came and asked me who owns a fluffy, grey-black cat and that she would be out on the street, dead. You were already dead. Already dead. Blood poured from your mouth, and from your mouth only. A small puddle had formed under your head. Thick, cherry red blood. When I... When I picked up your body later that day, in the evening, to... to... to take you to the most heartbreaking, unholy and disgusting place, unworthy of any loved animal or animal at all, actually, because my mum didnt want you in her garden next to her beloved cat, I realized. I realized that you had only been dead for a maximum of 30 to 60 minutes. The 30 to 60 minutes I had just gotten up. I think it was late that I got up, either at 9.5 or 8.5 or maybe it was 8.14 after all. And because I felt it was so late, I was so surprised not to see you in front of the door already, like I saw you every day. Every day, for, I dont actually know how long. I dont know for how long I've known you. I dont think it was very long, but I dont remember. I just know that you were suddenly just t h e r e. Because, your brothers, they had actually visited us even before you started coming to our house. And then one day they brought you and you stayed.

You weren't there yesterday morning, and I didnt think about it much. It sometimes happened that you needed to catch on as to that I was awake - usually by my steps or latest when I opened the blinds of the kitchen window which faces the garden and the direction that we believe you stemmed from. So I went to open the blinds and sat bored beside my other cat and watched her eat, as I have to do because otherwise she wont eat often times. And I was looking forward to seeing your small, excited face behind the glass door, and to pet your soft fur. Then watch you eat away and walk into my way to beg for more. When my cat was done, I happily grabbed a pack, a different one from usual, because you had begun to not like the usual, so I wanted to give you a special treat. And I grabbed that pack and skipped to the door, opened it energetically and awaited your absolute immediate arrival and exploding joy over me and the food I was bringing you. You didnt come, which was weird. Somewhat weird, but it had been raining all week, and during rain you seemed to spend a lot of your time somewhere else. Maybe at the place that was originally your home? Your origin is still 50/50 a mystery. My mum says from the farmer where your brothers are from, but I'm not sure. But it must have been the case, because where else would you have come from? A bit run down, skinny. God, you looked so healthy just a couple of days me feeding you. So little days. I was proud you recovered so quickly, unlike your brothers, who seem to be doing very badly all the time. Such soft fur, so sleek.

And the blood was fresh and your limbs were still moving normally when I touched you. That is, later that day, that I realized: If I had gotten up earlier. If I hadn't been so lazy or tired or both. Just, maybe a couple of minutes? Maybe just 15 minutes? Who knows if you would have made it safely across the street to our house. Because you would have heard me open the blinds sooner. And you would have made your way to me sooner, and the car, the driver who was on his way to work, he wouldn't have hit your head, or any other part of you. I was just so happy that you weren't obviously hurt anywhere. Just this blood dripping from your mouth, forming a small puddle under your small, beloved head I loved to pet more than I had realized.

And I wonder, if I hadn't been so lazy or tired, if you would still be here today, and yesterday. Or if it already happened before I got up. While I was still... I wasnt sleeping, I was awake. As always, as usual. My cat always wakes me up in the middle of the night and or I just wake up at 5 or 6 or 7. Usually I stay in bed until 8, in any of those cases. But I stayed longer than 8 even, and if I had just gotten up. I wonder, could I have helped you? But I wouldt have seen you, hidden behind the big bushes, outside on the street.

The lady vet who was very busy but was one of the only ones who answered my call told me if a car hit her on the head she was probably immediately dead. Or wherever you were hit. I hope. I hope. I hope you were. Were... you know, immediately. Without pain. I wish that you died loving me and looking forward to seeing me again and to receive pets. And I will give them to you, and all the food and all the hugs you want, once we meet again. Because I hope we meet again, I dearly do, seldom have I hoped so intensely for heaven to exist. I realized that the older I get, the harder it becomes to say goodbye, to lose someone. Up until this day I believed it would become EASIER. Easier, because by an old age, you would have been through so much already. Lost so many people, so many cats. But I realize it's not and I dread the days I have to say goodbye to our other cats, to any cat, actually, to any animal. I will not be thinking about people at this time, because it is too soon. To soon, to soon, to soon. As it was too soon for you. I love you so much.

Given we have somewhat a neighbour hassle I put my mind to try to find a vet who would examine your body. To make sure you weren't poisoned, because I couldn't see any visible injuries on you. Just this little, thick puddle of cherry red blood underneath your mouth. So many vets only opened in the late afternoon, so many were on holiday, so many only opened again on Monday. But I found this lady vet, and whilst having a patient on the table she hurryliy told me that, if I found you in the middle of the road, it was most likely car. And you were probably dead. You know. What I hope you was. For your sake. And for my sake. I dont want to talk about it anymore. I love you.

After this lady vet, who said that she technically does examine bodies, but who seemed somewhat reluctant and like the result was clear anyway, I called who I was going to call in the first place: the animal clinic 40 minutes from us. I wasnt keen on being with... a body, because that is what you were at that point, a body. With a body in the car for 40 minutes, but I was gonna do it, just to know, just to make sure that t h i s o n e t i m e I would actually k n o w what happened to my cat. So I would know and not wonder for the rest of my life: What happened? What went wrong? Could I have done something? Do I need to guard our other cats? But I was going to do it.

The lady who picked up this time was very friendly. She caught on almost immediately that I'd just lost a cat, and after she called me back to tell me that poison leaves the body too quickly to get usable results and that it would be a few hundred euro to have this analysis done, told me she wished me all the best and if I have any questions I should call. She was the first person that day - yesterday, it was just yesterday. But it felt like a nightmare, and it feels long ago already. A nightmare I want to forget, but I dont want to forget you. Susi.

She acknowledge my pain and your death and she consoled me when I had noone else who would do that for me. My parents are on holiday until tomorrow, the one friend who I told about your death literally just replied "I'm so sorry, that's so terrible, crying faces". But I needed more than that. I didnt get it until today when I woke up just as devastated as I was yesterday and went to have lunch with my grandmother, who also knew you. And who liked you, too.

"The green-eyed one" is what she called you. The green-eyed one, because green eyes you had. So beautiful, so big. In German, we like to say "Telleraugen". Eyes as big as plates. She was also visibly devastated. It is always said to tell your old grandmother that another beloved person or animal died. So much pain they have gone through already, and it just keeps getting worse.

But we talked a lot and long about you. And how it happened. Probably happened. And who I suspect to be the murderer. Our immediate neighbours, one of them at least. When I opened the door, shortly after, I heard them leave. The woman left in her white car. But I was just glad she left, I didnt care what direction she drove off to, so I didnt see where she went. I wish I had. And usually she drives into the direction where I found you on the street. May God punish her for her sins, and do so gruelly and painfully. If it was her. Maybe it was him, because later he returned in his old, small motorcycle thing. Maybe it was him. He shall be punished just as hard and gruelly as his girlfriend if it was either of them. And if it wasnt, I wish your murderer the plague and death and a hell of a lot of gruesome pain for the rest of their pitiful life. My first suspicions had been the neighbours who had newly moved here the last couple of years. Some younger people and old people who dont care at all that we have limit here in our village of 30 kmh. Who just never care and race down the hill like they own the place. And then hit a cat that just casually wanted to get her breakfast from a human who loves her very much. I hate all of you spenders, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, and I hate this neighbourhood and I hope everyone here dies a cruel death. Bit most of all, I hope your murderer and all other spenders who put the lives of loved ones at risk, die gruesome and cruel deaths. Just like you had to. I still love you.

Time is progressing, my battery decreasing and it is getting colder. I've written so much by now, but I have so, so much more to talk about. Tomorrow, my arms and fingers will hurt because I typed all of this on my phone. But at least I still have a body and feelings that can hurt me. Unlike you, who is not here anymore.

That day yesterday was so cruelly terrible. Oh my god.

I was so restless the whole day because I didnt know what to do with your body. I put it in the semi-shed/semi-room at the back of our house, where the small greenhouse and the grave of my mother's beloved cat, who was also hit by a car, but out of nowhere after a whopping 7 years of life. The grave which is also there. I had put you in a wooden basket somewhat, onto kitchen roll. For the blood to drip onto. And to make it more comfortable in your death, even though it probably wouldn't have made a big difference, even if you could have, or would have, still felt it. It was a bit too small for you and when I picked you up, you were so heavy, and so motionless, like, and I hate to draw this comparison, but like a sack of potatoes. Heavy and motionless and it was so weird to lift you up without you moving and squirming and trying to get away from me. It was so strange, alien strange, horribly strange. I saw the puddle out of the corner of my eyes but I didnt really see anything and I didnt want to see anything, the lady with the dog just wanted you off the street and that's what I did. I was blind with tears and when I put that wooden basket thing down I saw I hadn't put your head in a too comfortable position so I... I moved you a bit so that your head wouldn't be down at your chest, and your legs moved instead a bit over the rim. Then I squatted there, looking at you. As I do a lot with my other cat. To make sure you really weren't breathing anymore. To discover that you would still be breathing and I could still take you to the vet after all and I would still be able to feed you and pet you, and all would be good. But after staring at you intensely for 2 minutes or so. Blood still dripping a tiny bit out of your mouth, just luckily I didnt have to see that, your head was still moved so that I couldn't really see your face, just mostly your body. But I saw the blood on the kitchen roll expanding. It was seemingly clear that you were. The four letters.

But I didnt really believe it. Not really. Not really so. I went back upstairs to cry, and to do something about my sadness. To call the vets, have you examined, get clearance. To put my sadness to work. And as I sat there at the kitchen table with the phones I still expected you to come running up the stairs, staring into the room and scratching the glass door to have your food. That you just passed out for an hour or two or so and would come back. I really did!

And every shadow I saw out of the corner of my eyes, I thought they were all you, returning from the backside of the houses happily and healthy and excited and quirky as ever. Just your usual self, you know.

But you didnt come, and I was restless. After I had talked to the first lady vet I realized, I decided it was most likely a car that hit you. So at least I knew how it most probably happened. But what do to with your body? And I didnt want to bring you away just yet. Because it was clear to me that I would have to bring her to the most horrible, ungrateful and unworthy of any beloved pet or animal place on earth. Because you weren't my mums favourite, and she wouldn't want you in her garden. But at lunch I asked her anyway. I texted her about that I found you dead in street in the morning, and if I could bury you next to Leeloo to give you the forever home you probably always wanted. Just a little too late.

But my mother said no. Well, not explicitly. But she suggested I take you there, and after I said I didnt want to but it is her garden and her decision. I had to wait another couple of hours, until 6 o'clock in the evening, one of which I spent half asleep in bed with our second cat, because the living still demanded my attention, oblivious of the fact that one of them had just reached the end of their road. Until 6 clock in the evening when she finally replied to take you there.

Up until that point, I had gone back a couple of times to check on you. I sat at the kitchen table knowing flies would be all over your body at some point, because this is not the first time I had to witness the dead body of one of our cats. And I didnt want the flies there so I covered you up with newspapers. Another time I came to you with scissors and an empty box that had stored Qtips, because I wanted something od you to remain with me for the rest of my life. And your fur look so inviting, not flat on your skin but a bit more wildly into the air. So I carefully cut a few tips of your fluffy silkness. The box is sitting in front of me in the book shelf, originally I wanted to bury at least this bit of you in the garden next to the beloved cat. I wanted at least some part of you to have a furever home. And I still do. But I cant do it just yet. It could be that I will just keep it here. But I will definitely put up a stone with writing on it, saying "In love and remembrance of Susi".

Another time, before that, I think, I spent a long while sitting on the tiny stone rim in front of Leeloos grave, because I was pondering if I shouldn't just bury you anyway, despite what my mother says about you. But it was her garden, so I didnt. Just this one time, I wish I had not done as I was told. I wish I hadn't even asked.

But there, in the middle of the path to the grave, there were a bunch of unusally long daisies growing l, and I had the strong desire to put up flowers for Susi. For you. So I picked them and laid them down next to your body.

I think I went down another time, always in "full gear", with heavy boots on because the grass at the backside is usually wet and gross. But you laid on concrete in the semi-room, so no worries. So I went down there just to be with you. Because I still didnt want to believe it. I couldn't believe it. I refused to. I thought if I just spent some more time with you, you would wake back up. I had one of the masks on and one time gloves when I touched you. Which I didnt for the most part.

When I had Google about the poison, many people describe situations like your death. No, sorry, I googled what the blood meant, and that is where I found it could be poison, or even a heart attack, or inner injuries. But these people also described their cats having their eyes open, so I went to check your eyes cause I hadn't seen them. And they were open. Though I only saw one. One side of your face. If your cute, beautiful face. And I tried to close them, it, but almost immediately realized it didnt work, so I gave up. But I wish I could have done at least that for you.

[grapsandclaps]

GRAPS AND CLAPS DOES PROGRESS

Hello everyone and welcome to the story of Show 66 of the #100showyear which took me on a monster 4 hour journey via Leeds to Progress Wrestling in jolly old Camden Town for their last show before the big one of the year at Ally Pally. So this was a case of putting the final pieces into the jigsaw before the hype train leaves the station, lets see what went down.

One thing to point out using Virgin East Coast trains is the big difference from its West Coast rivals is that they have put plug sockets next to each set of seats, which for anyone knows who dont have a table seat can be an arse to charge your phone which is soon dwindling down to 5%. Also posher seats with more padding for my ever expanding arse - all this travelling and sitting down does nothing for my svelt figure - Hey Fatty Bum Bum!!

Arriving in London, it was straight to the usual Premier Inn at Euston at a cost of £82 for the night, you know what you are getting with a Premier Inn - if its good enough for Lenny Henry its good enough for me. One downfall though was the lack of bedding on the sofa bed, which meant our Geoff was to take up his usual 3/4s of the bed and me clinging on for dear life staring into the abyss of the carpeted floor. As stated by a few wrestlers on twitter - Why do hotels never stick plug sockets on your bedside table to charge your mobile? Never got it myself why this is the case 😕

All checked in, it was straight to the ballroom as the first bout of the afternoon was at 330pm. Getting in i have noticed that Progress have stopped putting wristbands on the seats, not sure why but im sure someone will know? It felt a quieter crowd than usual due to the transport issues getting into the capital but soon filled up once the action began.

Pre show action began with Never Say Die vs The debuting Aussie Open in a really good opener and could have easily been on the main card. The Aussies who have become instant favourites since arriving to the UK took most of the action on NSD, impressing with flying cutters, piledrivers and other high octane offence - sadly no Awful Waffle from Mark Davies to finish the match as they were soon overhauled by NSD who picked the win up in around 10 minutes. Good stuff and would like to see Aussie Open again in Progress as they could be a great addition to a growing division.

First main match was Strangler Davis fresh from disposing of long time partner - Rob Lynch vs Connor Mills in an ok opener mainly to get over the noose wielding Strangler as a force to be reckoned with. Davis is very much submission based showing off shades of 1980s World of Sport arm whips and headscissors, Mills tried his best but succoumbed to the strangle for the tapout in about 7 minutes. 1-2 NOOSE!!!! Your Winner James Davis 👍 🖒.

Interview time with Flash Morgan Webster and Progress Odd Couple - Jimmy Havoc and Mark Haskins with added Townsend The Tree bought by Progress Management for Flash (Daylight Shrubbery if you ask me). Very funny segment this which set up a tag match at the end of the night with Travis Banks and Resident Scowler - Pete Dunne interjecting themselves. So it was made Haskins & Havoc vs Dunne & Banks in a Dysfunctional Tag Team Match HOLLA HOLLA MY FRIENDS!

Womens No.1 Contendership match up next with Jinny vs Dahlia Black for the right to face Toni Storm at Ally Pally. Very physical match here with Jinny taking the early advantage on her slightly taller opponent but as time wore on Dahlia gained the advantage and picked up the win on Jinny to face Toni Storm in a New Zealand vs Australia battle, but as we shall see later on Dahlia picked up an injury suffered at the hands of Pete Dunne in the main event. This writer likes both Storm and Black, but ive been a long time Toni Storm fan so would like to see her come out as champion at Ally Pally.

Next 2 matches were to decide the stipulations for the tag title match at Ally Pally between CCK and British Strong Style. 1st up was Kid Lykos vs Tyler Bate in a very good match more playing up to the junior heavyweight style of wrestling - a cry of “Small Lads Wrestling” was heard from the Progress which riled a visibly pissed off Tyler. I know Tyler is supposed to be apart of the main heel faction in Progress but i cant help but feel he looks very reluctant to be as dastardly as his bearded cohort Trent Seven and Pete Dunne, i smell Tyler going out on his own sometime here 😤.

Finish of the match came when Trent Seven came to interfere using the old distraction finish to put Lykos off his game enough for Tyler Bate to pick up the win. Stipulation time and after much humour about a possible Punjabi Prison Match and a trip for Jim, Jon and Glen to the nearest B & Q, it was settled on a normal tag match as BSS’s stipulation to piss off the Progress throng to a chorus of boos my mate Shauna would be proud of.

Chris Brookes vs Trent Seven then took place to decide the next stipulation in another good match but with Trent getting a taste of his own medicine with Lykos this time helping his mate Brookes to perform a Sick Fucking Tag Move to get the win and the choice of stipulation was you ask - A Ladder Match which should be a fantastic spectacle to see, but hopefully better ladders have been hired unlike the last time during SDS Vs The Riots.

Break done it was time for FSU vs The Grizzled Young Vets (sounds like a 6 part drama on ITV Sunday Night at 8pm, think Heartbeat but with a Scouser and a Wet Dog), that said Drake and Gibson are a welcome addition to the tag leagues and provide a great threat to the face teams out there (if CCK win at Ally Pally i can see a match up between the 2 teams) FSU are in a state of flux where they are not diminished if they lose as they are popular enough to overcome it, plus as well Eddie Dennis and Mark Andrews are accomplished singles wrestlers in their own right.

But with that said they couldnt put away the GYV’s who picked up the win with the elevated lung blower in a really good tag match and a great way to start the second half.

Next up was a clash of technical styles which was maybe my only downpoint as it featured seasoned British star Doug Williams vs my beating stick - Timothy Thatcher. Now i know i get plenty of stick for my non love of Thatcher from close wrestling friends of mine, but it is an opinion i will stick with - that is even though he is a good technical wrestler, he can suck the atmosphere out of an audience just like that - ive seen him 5 times now live and even though i have given him a chance u just dont think i will see the fascination with him.

The match was ok but i saw a far superior Doug Williams match the other week vs PCWs Philip Michael in Blackpool. Thatcher picked up the submission win over a valiant Doug and moves onto the 3 way at Ally Pally vs Matt Riddle and Walter which should be as hard hitting as they come as long as they turn it into a slugfest it will be magical.

Main event time with Haskins and Havoc vs Banks and Dunne but was mainly played up as a 2 on 1 with Dunne refusing to co-operate with Travis Banks and instead taking a spot on the announcing booth proceeding to boot Progress Flag Waver - Callum Leslie in the balls. Haskins and Havoc took advantage of the numbers game early on and worked well as a unit and not showing much dissent but it would soon end as a mix up between the two cost them dearly and Travis Banks hit the Slice of Heaven but before he could go for the pin Dunne ran to the ring and smashed Banks to leave Haskins prone for the 1-2-3.

Whilst Banks was down injured, BSS took advantage and beat down Banks and the incoming CCK, Dunne also proceeded to drag Dahlia Black onto the stage and hit her with a Sledgehammer to a chorus of boooooooooosssss to make the heel squad look strong going into Ally Pally in 2 weeks.

Beer prices - £4.90 for Camden Pale as ever it was passable.

Graps done it was time to hit the bright lights of Camden, but first it was Maccy D’s for a £1.99 big mac and fries whilst witnessing some 5 ft 5 roidhead planning to smack a nerd (your typical night in London i guess). But if this was a one on one match, imagine being done over like my mate Ben who faced Five Guys and got shafted for £19.90 all for a Burger, Fries and a Shake - Tory Britain strikes again 😮.

Pubs visited included Brewdog Camden for a £2.75 half pint of Orange Ale which was alright but i wouldnt pay for a full pint of it.

The Black Heart for a pint of £5.80 Fruity Cream Ale from Weird Beard, a discussion about what 6 matches i would stick on a promotion if i ran one in Rochdale Town Hall came out with a decent card in our dreams. As long as their is a hot buffet and a raffle im sure punters will be happy enough 😍.

The Worlds End produced shouty shouty RAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH music and a £5.50 pint of Lowenbrau pffft. It was then off to more cheaper climbs of The Ice Wharf Wetherspoons which was packed to the rafters with people getting down to the sounds of despacito. A pint of IPA was had here and was very nice at a cost of around £4, i recommend the Peanut Butter Stout Can our Geoff had which was lovely and sweet for £2.99.

Last call was to The Prince Arthur pub for a £5 pint of cask ale (daylight robbery especially for Cask ale) - Decentish pub but very pricey for my Northern liking. A cheeky whisky and coke in the hotel bar for £4.10 was had to send me off to bed for a what was a great nights kip 😴😴😴😴😴😴.

Overall a good setup show for Ally Pally, nothing outstanding but nothing bad. Would i say it was worth the 4 hour trip and the cost of it - probably not but still good times were had. I am just hoping now at Ally Pally that Travis Banks and CCK win their respective matches as it is the natural finish to the storyline with them but we just have to wait and see.

Next review will be Lucha Forever from tomorrow night in Manchester, till then its a goodbye from me but make sure you spread the word of #grapsandclaps amongst the Twitter Universe. As i guess you all seem to enjoy these tales of British Wrestling Travelling.