#is this a panac atak?

[likeiwouldbedoinghomework]

I dont remember being so stressed i felt sick for a the week leading up to my move OUT of the States...but now, I'm getting on the plane tomorrow to go back to the States, and I feel so nauseous. Even though I'm almost done wrapping up all the technicalities and paperwork on this end of things, and that in itself felt like a mountain of stuff to do, I still have SO much I have to do even as soon as I touch foot down on the ground in the States. Look for a job, gotta find something with good benefits cuz I'm on my own with that now, what if I find a job that's going to destroy me inside and kill my spirit, but I can't leave because I need the money? I dont want to live in my family's house indefinitely, and I want to move in with my dear friends as roommates, like I've promised, but there are already maybe other options opening themselves to me? But are they the right ones? I need a car but the pension im getting from leaving this job isn't a FORTUNE and I need to save it and spend smartly. Any job I think I could actually really like and stay in for an extended amount of time will probably require more education or trade school which will cost MORE money.

AND I'm still worried my stuff still isn't actually going to fit inside my luggage for tomorrow. And what if after all this headache trying to get everything packed and ready to fly, when I get to the airport, WHAT IF my luck just runs right out and I somehow miraculously test positive for COVID??? I'll have to quarantine in specialized facilities! What will happen with my flight??? Will I be reimbursed or rescheduled for a week later? Will I just LOSE that money and have to buy a new flight?? And after everything, I still have to wait a couple weeks/a month before that pension money comes into my account! I'm not smart enough for this. I cant budget, im not savvy enough to live.

I feel like I'm gonna throw up and cry.