#but like seriously liking them bc they're positive and like

[bi-demon-ium]

random hc: mr benedict likes trashy romance novels. i think show!mr benedict sees them as kind of a guilty pleasure, so he's got them stashed somewhere. books!mr benedict cheerily and shamelessly says all genres are valid forms of literature and therefore has a Trashy Romance corner of his library. the er, spicier ones are hidden, though, for the childrens' sake.

[slyandthefamilybook]

I think we need to have a serious re-evaluation of what "leftist" means bc there ain't no fuckin way authcoms are on the same left as me lmao

[letsplayballet]

me: (being a little dramatic) haha yeah i wasn't expecting to need food for 10+ days last time i went grocery shopping mom: (was also sick, knows i'm covid positive) you just need to wear a mask you can still go out

[lotties-ashwagandha]

AGATHA & RIO NSFW ALPHABET

(afab reader, female implied, poly relationship/throuple with them and reader, im disregarding that we can’t kiss rio without dying)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

after sex they would both be so soft! depending on the mood both of them can be into pretty rough sex and in general i think sex is very intense for them not just physically but mentally as well, so afterwards they become quite gentle and sentimentally inclined. they're both quick to check on and cater to each other's and your needs, and expect that out of you as well. the time all of you spend together once you're all exhausted and grounded in each other becomes an act of quality time and showing affection through caring for each other. i feel you could get into some deeper discussions with them as well, which you might not usually have the time or focus for otherwise.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

rio loves agatha's neck and shoulders. she likes to run her knife down her neck and her hands are always finding agatha's shoulders to clutch when she's riding her thigh. OH and we know rio loves playing with agatha's hair as well, not in a sexual context but just in general.

agatha loves rio's. she. she loves her boobs man idk someone get this woman the biggest prode flag you've ever seen and scribble down BOOBS on it in sharpie. or whatever.

their favorite thing about you would be your legs, your arms your back your everything. they want every part of you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

rio loves to make you taste yourself after she's finished eating you out. it's validation for her, a trophy and a way of rubbing in the fact that she just made you finish with her tongue.

agatha loves to see your face covered in her cum after riding your face. she wants to make a mess of you, claim you as hers in the way your chin glistens with her cum.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

on the witches road, they MAY have considered each fucking you during a trial and seeing who could make you come the fastest, obviously very funny time limit bc if you don’t complete the trial then u die I mean what who said that!

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

they’re both experienced, you’d get good at eating pussy after being around for centuries I would hope.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

when you’re trying to eat one of them out while the other is fucking you with her strap!!! agatha particularly loves making you and rio take her strap, and if you’re in a rough mood degradation kink mood then she loves to bully you, tease you, shame you for being so needy for her and desperate for her to fuck you. she likes to watch you ride it, but really she just wants to lay you down and make you come hard.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

they have to have some level of seriousness to actually like. get off. and with them like I mentioned before sometimes they will get really into the emotionally intimate and romantic aspect of sex, but with them nothing can stay serious for too long so there will be a bit of humor, a few mean jokes, anything to break the tension. if you don’t want that they’ll try to dial it back, but if you do then even better.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

with rio being death and agatha being a witch i dont think either of them have the most time to be meticulously shaving or waxing or whatever hair removal they would prefer. agatha would care more than rio, and i think they would both try to keep up with it to some extent, but time gets in the way. as for you they don't mind whatever you prefer to do (shaving, waxing, not doing anything in the way of hair removal) with yourself as long as you are comfortable.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

sex with rio and agatha can either be sex just to fuck or sex to be romantic. it depends on the mood, it depends on what has turned them on, it depends on the day. but sex for them can be a form of intimacy — neither of them are the best at expressing their feelings with words, and while sex should not take the place of verbal communication, it definitely helps.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I can’t see them masturbating as much in a relationship, they’d both just prefer to fuck, but in general I think agatha would masturbate more often than rio?

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

do I even have to say knife kink??? knife kink. we all know knife kink. maybe even splurge a little and say blood kink.

bondage!!! they would be really into tying you up (and making a competition out of you somehow, a power struggle), and I can also see rio being so proud of herself if she got agatha to agree to let rio tie her up.

praise and degradation! of course. they’ll pick different sides, one night rio will be praising you and agatha degrading and then the next time it will switch. they crave both, and they want the element of surprise for you when you don’t know what you’re going to get from either of them.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

ideally at home in the bedroom but tbh you’ve all probably fucked everywhere including the witches road.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

if you’re a witch, they would get turned on by watching you do whatever magic you specialize in — they like seeing you with power, and they like taking it for themselves. they want to see that you’re powerful and then remind themselves that you belong to them.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything you say no to they’re throwing away the idea of, but in general they would be averse to sharing you with anyone else.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

rio would prefer giving, and agatha would prefer receiving. rio wants you and agatha coming on her tongue, wants to be what gives you those highs. agatha wants to completely let go of herself in your touch, forget the rest of the world exists for a little while because all that’s important is how pretty you look between her thighs.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends!!! if it’s a more emotionally intimate and romance geared night they’re more slow and sensual, and otherwise it’s fast and rough.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

quickies anywhere and everywhere and whenever. as long as you’re in a place relatively safe from being discovered, the two of them are down for quickies. i can see them trying to test the limits of where they can and can’t fuck without being discovered too, so lots of being pulled into public restrooms or dragged off into the woods on the witches road or into an alley or whatever little places you can find.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

they will probably be down to experiment with whatever you bring up within reason, with both of them having been around for centuries they’ve seen it all, and it will take a lot to surprise them when it comes to testing things out.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

they can go for a relatively long time, rio can last longer than agatha but they go until they’re completely exhausted, there’s no such thing as casual sex for them unless you’re in public and it has to be a quickie somewhere.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

apart from vibrators and straps I can’t see them being incredibly into toys, they would much rather just go hands mouth all the essentials.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

an obscene amount it’s not even funny these women would tease you until you’re in tears and then would do it some more. it’s a game to them, like everything is.

I can see them reaaaally being into edging you and overstimulating you as a side note, rio wants to edge you and agatha wants to overstimulate.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

they’re both relatively vocal but not necessarily loud. agatha would be louder than rio, she loses every bit of composure when you’re fucking her and rio’s main goal specifically is to pull any moans, whines, anything she can get from agatha while fucking her. rio herself is a bit quieter, i can see her more prone to gasps and low moans — her tells would be more through body language, nails digging into your skin or her grip on you getting tighter.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I’ve posted about this somewhere before but agatha with a mommy kink calling rio mommy. you agree.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

idk about agatha but I need to see rio in a black lingerie set. bah!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

relatively high??? not super crazy but we all feel the level of longing for lesbian sex right.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

it depends, if it’s in the morning or afternoon they probably won’t. if it’s nighttime then not immediately, but not incredibly long after. in general they get some water take a shower make some food (bc i can see rio cooking up a three million course meal for the three of you after sex she gets hungry). they want to make sure you’re doing alright and just bask in the domestic bliss of aftercare before they give in to sleep.

[ryescapades]

aubade · ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ°࿐ | kaiju no. 8

— there is you, and then there is him. as dawn breaks, love lays its claim.

fluff prompt: palm kisses <3 characters: hoshina soshiro x gn weapon specialist!reader

genre/warning: fluff, mutual pining, ooc hoshina prolly, indirect confession, takes place after the sagamihara operation's celebration party, narumi cameo bcs why not

a/n: specially made for my lovely moot @/spookuna <3 i'm a bit attached to this one ngl..

2.9k wc

they say it is a soldier's pride to be able to serve the country they've sworn their lives on. duty, honor and discipline; these are all necessary in order to bring out the best in oneself to protect what matters to them.

expectedly, it is no different in the jakdf. bound by duty, the officers, no matter what position or department they're in, are well aware of the obligation they have to adhere to. they hone their skills and take pride in their abilities to be the best version of themselves so as to protect the lives of the people from the onslaught of kaiju in any way they can.

however, as a defense force officer yourself, your pride lies in your weapons. specifically, the weapons that you made.

ever since you were a mere child, all you've ever known was the forging of heated metals and the whirring sound of machines. the you from years ago used to enjoy watching the process of weapon-making, both machinery and man-made alike. hence, it is only natural that you grew up pursuing a career born out of your interest; a weapon specialist in the jakdf.

you were one of their best, in fact. hardworking and dedicated, you were deserving enough to be stationed at the first division base, where all the cream of the crops reside. studying and researching together with your fellow engineers in the process of making kaiju-specialized arsenals have become as natural as eating your daily meals.

additionally, discussing about the weapons with the soldiers themselves for any improvements is something you'd grown to enjoy doing.

and unbeknownst to most of those around you, you might just have the slightest bit of favoritism towards one soldier in particular...

"how was it, the blaze round? or is the explosive one still better?" you inquire during one afternoon in the testing lab. the first division officer turns to you while holding the rifle containing said blazing cartridges, half of it already emptied after the shooting trial.

"it's working well, y/n-san! your idea of flaming bullets is really doing wonders, seriously. but i do think the design could be better though, for instance..." as he drones on about what upgrades you could add to the gun, you listen with rapt attention, jotting down new ideas on your notebook. after the testing session ends, you mull over your notes in the silence of the now-empty lab.

a curious voice, fused with a bit of bafflement then brings you out of your headspace that is previously filled with a bunch of chemicals, kaiju remains and mechanical parts.

"you're still doing tests on that fire gun-thingy?" you lift your head up to see captain narumi waltzing in, the usual air of confidence and nonchalance sticking to him like a second skin.

you perk up, throwing him a quick salute. "yep, as usual! still got a long way to go though. there's so many stuff i need to fix, especially the cartridge and the substance formula. and there's the barrel part too—"

narumi grimaces, "okay, okay, chill, y/n. i'm only here to pick up my weapon, not to hear you nerd out about your little experiment," he huffs, walking over to the corner of the lab where his bayonet case is kept. you only give a responding chuckle and a lighthearted apology.

being the nosy ass that he is, narumi peeks over your figure to glimpse at what you're working on. however, his magenta hues latch on to your hands. in all the years he's known you, narumi has only ever seen you with your gloves on but today, your hands are bare and free from the confine of those military-issued fabrics.

with the case now slung over his shoulder, he's about to interrogate you about the lines he'd just seen on your palms when your phone that was sitting on the desk rings, a familiar name flashing on the screen.

the captain clicks his tongue. "the heck does this asshole want from you?" he questions in annoyance, albeit while sliding the device to you all the same just as you ask him who's calling.

he takes note of the way your eyes light up when they land upon the name of the caller, a smile quirking up on your face as you feel your heart skipping a (few too many) beat. you immediately slide a finger across the screen to put the call on speaker so that you can still look over your findings and talk to him all the while.

right, speaking of favoritism...

"vice-captain hoshina?" you cheerily greet, and narumi forces himself to hold in a gag (spoiler: he fails) when the man on the other line speaks up, "hey there. you free right now?" internally, you almost punched yourself at how giddy you get after hearing the smooth and light baritone of hoshina's voice.

you send your captain a glare before shooing him out with a wave of your hand. gruntling under his breath, the bicolor-haired man rolls his eyes as he pushes the door on his way out. "damn lovebirds,"

you ignore his not-so vague comment, fully focused on the one you're currently in love speaking with. "no, not really. i was just testing out some new stuff. why?" you query.

"you've heard about the sagamihara operation, right? well, ya see... one of my blades broke while i was fightin' no. 8, and the other one is pretty scratched up. i'm afraid i'd have to get the spare ones you keep at the hq," hoshina explains, and your eyebrows raise in shock.

"what? i've only heard that the mission turned out quite the struggle in the end, but nothing about no. 8 showing up. are you okay?" hoshina finds himself to be a lucky man, for you're not there with him to see how wide he's smiling, his cheeks practically hurt from your expression of concern for him.

"i'm all good, don't worry, dear. and besides, i won't be taken down so easily like that, ya know? have some faith in me, yeah?" you blush slightly at the nickname and his teasing tone before letting out a small laugh. "sorry, sorry. i do have faith in you, vice-captain. you hold that 'strongest close-quarters combatant' title for a reason, no?" you muse, not even bothering to keep the sheer honesty from flowing out.

the grip on his own phone tightens, relishing in the subtle praise sneaking behind your words. throughout his years in the defense force, people have complimented him on his hand-to-hand skills, sure. more often so now that he's a high-ranking officer in the third division. but when it comes to you, it just feels... right. assuring, somehow.

hoshina chuckles breathily, "you're right. so, about my swords... should i go there to pick it up or will you be sending a courier for it?"

for a moment you contemplate, weighing over your decisions. on one side, you really don't have any other purpose to go all the way to tachikawa apart from delivering the weapon. plus, your schedule is not exactly flexible enough to be making such impromptu visits to another base.

on the other hand, going to tachikawa means you get to see him. and deliver the weapon, obviously. but the way you see it, meeting him is enough reason for you to confidently set your choice.

"actually... you know what? i'll be going to tachikawa myself,"

if it were anybody else, you would've reprimanded them for disregarding their duties so carelessly like this. why do something so pointlessly time-consuming when there's a more effective way of doing it? or something along the lines of 'you should stick true to your obligation as a defense force officer, something something, blah blah...'

but who could blame you, really. for hoshina soshiro, you would take the tiniest crumb of chance to see him standing in front your very eyes, only to remind yourself time and time again that he's the one your heart longs for.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

the hour clock strikes around six in the morning when you step foot onto the third division's turf, the sun still on its way to reach above the horizon for the incoming dawn.

you had taken some good five minutes of lecturing yourself about impulsively making a trip to another base, hands gripping tight on the steering wheel as you eventually came to terms with the fact that you were, indeed, driving by yourself from the ariake maritime base straight to tachikawa.

being the responsible officer that you are, you informed captain narumi of your little quote unquote adventure, which he only cackled at. you definitely did not bribe him with a new disc game of his choosing for his bs5 if he promised not tell on you to your superiors...

now, as you settle your belongings in the third division's library, you suddenly feel the nerves wrecking inside. it's quite a silly issue, really. it's not like this is the first time you're meeting hoshina. truth be told, you think you've seen more of him than captain ashiro, even though the latter is the more frequent visitor to the main headquarters out of the two.

you can't help it. everything about hoshina just makes you feel nervous, shy, but warm and happy all the same. your heart would beat a thousand miles per hour when he's near, heat rushing to every part of your body as if you had just burned yourself. well, maybe that's partly accurate, with how stupidly and ridiculously hot hoshina soshiro is—

a knock on the door interrupts your train of improper thoughts.

a figure stands at the huge opened entrance, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed against his— oh, sweet lord... he's wearing that compression shirt again. it takes every ounce of your willpower to not let your eyes stray anywhere below the turtleneck-line, lest you're in for a lifetime of teasing by the man.

you're a bit unlucky, it seems. because when you finally look at him, there is a knowing glint in his wine-tinted irises, as if he understands exactly what goes on in your mind, though he produces no word to address it.

"vice-captain, hi," you start, then proceed to mentally smack yourself because what the heck is that lame-ass greeting?

hoshina smiles, and your eyes greedily take in the sight of his curled up mouth. "hi yourself. how was the drive? i was worried for a second when ya said you're comin' here alone. you could've taken the shinkansen... or better yet, i could've gone there myself," thin eyebrows furrowing slightly, he approaches where you stand in the middle of the room where a metal table sits among others.

you laugh sheepishly, scratching gingerly on the skin of your cheek. "traffic was okay, thanks. and this is kind of an impulsive idea, really. i went straight to my car without thinking instead of going to the train station. plus, i wanted to give these to you myself," you say, mentioning to the leather sheaths sitting on the table.

hoshina tilts his head, giving you a confused smile, "why so? aren't they the same ol' blades like the ones i've been using before?" he asks, which causes your expression to brighten.

grabbing the weapons in your hands, you excitedly unsheathe the twin swords before displaying them in front of him. the blades are familiar, marked as his signature weapon SW-2033, gleaming sharp in the dim light of the library and shaped as similarly as his old ones.

"they are, but i added some touch ups to them too! i did some tweaking in the metal constitution of the blades to make them lighter, but more sturdy and tough to cut through harder things. they're supposedly more responsive to any change in your combat power too. the new composition has some kaiju remains in it, but you didn't hear that from me, okay?" you whisper the last part cheekily.

hoshina laughs, comfortably taking the swords when you hand them out to him and slowly turning them back and forth for observation, awestruck with your creation when suddenly a small detail catches his eyes. "what's this?" he mutters curiously, bringing the handle of the swords for a closer scrutiny.

you immediately straighten up at his attentiveness, your arms sliding behind your back and your fingers starting to play with the hem of your gloves from the jitters. "ah, that. well, i figured the swords would hold out much longer this time. so i thought it wouldn't hurt to do a little mark of ownership on each of them," you mumble, holding your breath while gauging his reaction all the same.

there, beside the jagged, razor-sharp edge of the dark steel blade, a small and intricate swirl of his first name is carved, along with a pressed mark of your own initials just above the izumo tech logo at the hilt.

there's a lump his throat, his slanted eyes widening in surprise.

bashfulness washes over you when he doesn't say anything, still staring at the weapons. "o-of course, i can remove my name if that's what you're concerned about! the hilt is easy to be swapped so—"

"no, they're perfect... thank you," he breathes.

your own eyes widen, gulping down the nervousness that is starting to dwindle down a bit, thankfully. you inwardly smile, relieved at how this is turning out. "think nothing of it! it's just something i thought to do in passing and it's not like there are many others in the defense force who specializes in swordsmanship." your hand reaches up to brush it off.

hoshina suddenly freezes when his eyes latch onto your gloved hand, the piece of stitched up cloth slightly nudged up from your earlier fidgeting to reveal a smidgen of your palm, causing you to tense slightly. you move to hide your hand from his view but your speed is no match against his; the man snatches it into his own, frowning deeply.

he puts aside the twin blades and takes a step towards you. one of his slender, much longer fingers slides under the dark fabric, exposing more and more of your palm to his amaranthine gaze at such a slow pace that it just makes the embarrassment to settle even deeper, simmering in the depth of your stomach and causing shivers to run down the length of your back.

eventually, the glove comes off and his eyes rove over the skin of your palm. it's soft to the touch, hoshina thinks. even so, he can't help but to stare at the lines upon lines of raised skin, ragged and roughly positioned on the surface. your hand is severely scarred.

you try to clench your hand into a fist and pull back but the swordsman seems persistent enough that you just relent, looking away to avoid his eyes. "it's bad, isn't it?" you smile, no mirth whatsoever.

play with knives, and you're bound to get nicked, you'd heard once.

his downturned expression remains. "it is. did you get them while refining my new swords?" he questions quietly into the air between you. your teeth catches on your bottom lip before you let out a low hum, "i always get them when i refine your swords.” the space around you grows tight, and the next thing that happens causes your chest to be even tighter.

hoshina moves closer into your space, your forehead almost knocking against him as he brings your palm to his lips. your mouth dries and feels like sandpaper as the airy, featherlight sensation continues to descend on various spots on your skin a few more times, your pulse quickening as he trails them to your wrist. he's careful with his fangs, but the sudden appearance of his tongue has you gasping slightly. it's wet, and it's warm against your skin. "w-what..." you stammer.

"it's beautiful. you're beautiful, y/n," hoshina murmurs, causing the sharp intake of your breath as the blood in your veins pumps in a frenzy.

he glances up to see your fluttering eyes and reddened cheeks. with those as the only indications he needs, he closes the distance to press his lips onto yours in a shy, tender kiss.

finally, your foolish little heart wants to scream. after months of lingering eye contacts, of shy touches, whispered praises and not-so-platonic gestures. after months of dancing around these intense, dizzying feelings.

the softness of your mouth gives to the pressure of his, dancing unhurriedly against each other as you savor the heat he emits. hoshina holds you close, your imperfectly perfect hand cradled protectively against his chest as his free hand comes up to steady a palm over your warm cheek.

he pulls back slowly to give you space and take a minute but you follow him, eyes still closed and lips chasing after his in an attempt to be connected once more. hoshina breathes out a chuckle and calls out for you, fondness seeping out from each syllable of your name that has you opening your eyes to peer at his own.

and here, as the first rays of sunlight pour through the windows of the library, casting a golden hue across the room and painting him in such an exquisite way it leaves the air rushing out of your lungs. the bell chimes somewhere in your mind, the musical vibrations synchronizing with the love you hold for the man in front of you.

somewhere in the back of your mind, you’ve never thought so beautifully of your hands ever before.

what i would give to be otp with hoshina like i'm his actual gf ... *cries in non fiction

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

[hibiscusseaart]

yesterday i had a glorious fucking migraine and i had thoughts about au of the time travel tobirama au

basically what if Tobirama fails and dies like about a year after the marriage with Madara. Konoha is building and everything, everyone is happy and then Tobirama fucking dies.

I didn't think of the reason, but maybe he was killed in battle or smth. Maybe by some clan like idk Shimura :)

(prob bc of Black Zetsu)

So, expectedly, Madara loses his fucking mind and it's even worse than when Izuna died, cuz they're supposed to be at peace what the fuck. Madara tries to raze the entire clan responsible for his sweet husband's death.

Hashirama doesn't let him do that and Madara leaves the village, where Black Zetsu catches onto him.

So basically, canon, but Tobirama was never Niidaime and Izuna lived.

The second Hokage would be, idk, Itama, who's fucking terrified and he didn't signed up for this shit!

But yeah, he's the Niidaime and he does everything in his power to implement everything Tobirama wanted to do for the village. And it's a lot. A LOT. Honestly like the dude knew he's gonna be a Hokage one day, he left MANY notes.

Itama appoints Kagami as his successor, cuz that's what Tobirama would want.

Danzo, being a bitch at the Uchiha clan, since Madara had a huge beef with his clan, kills Kagami, takes his eyes, makes it mission accident yada-yada, Itama appoints Hiruzen the next Hokage.

Idk why Itama left the position, but he never wanted it anyway. He did everything his brother wanted and peaced out to go smoke.

So, the canon happens.

The 4th war happens.

Orochimaru raises the dead Hokage, but not only him, Tobirama is there too, since he was super smart and his personal fav.

"Oh fuck, not again," Tobirama said, hiding his face in his hand. Everyone thought that's about the time Orochimaru made him fight in the Konoha crush on chuunin exams. He choose him over Itama, cuz even though Itama is a good Hokage, but he's a healer for the most part and not that useful on the battlefield.

Sasuke asks his questions and then he asks Tobirama.

"Uchiha Tobirama. The history says that you were married off to the Uchiha clan, to Madara, against your will and then took the suicide mission after a year in marriage. Is this true? You hated the Uchiha so much that you killed yourself?"

"I did what"

"Well, you were the one who created Uchiha Police Force..." Orochimaru said.

"First of all, I planned it to go further than the Uchiha and to supervise it myself. At the first stages it was supposed to be only Uchiha because it was one of the most competent clans to do this job and my clan that I trusted. Second of all, 'against my will'? Seriously?! I did not chase Madara since I was 9 to write our marriage off as a political marriage! What the fuck!"

Everyone, except Hashirama and Itama looked shocked at this confession.

"Where IS my husband? Trying to avenge my death to the whole world?"

"Uh, yeah.."

"Of fucking course. I should've left him a note specifically saying that he needs to be in the fucking village and take care of our clan. Now what? Our clan is just one a vengeful child!"

Tobirama paused, feeling up the battlefield.

"And one more Uchiha who lost his shit. Of fucking course"

Everyone shocked, cuz Tobirama had a reputation who hated Uchiha, cuz his brother married him off to them as a peace offering. Then Sasuke makes Hashirama talk about all this talk about village, Hokage, shinobi yada yada yada

Senju brothers are PISSED at Hiruzen and Danzo (thank fuck he's dead right). Hiruzen looked remorseful and said that he knew that everyone expected Kagami to become Hokage and not him.

Ok, so!

Tobirama was the fastest one to rush to the battle field. He had a feral husband to calm down.

He arrived and just stood before Madara, who froze in shock.

"Husband, come here," Tobirama said, opening his arms. Alliance is just standing there gaping cuz what the fuck

Madara didn't notice Tobirama at first, since he masked his chakra by habit. But even then he was exited to meet Hashirama and fight once more. But then he sees Tobirama and FUCK all these plans, his huband is here!!!

Madara just crushed into Tobirama. He had no idea that Tobirama could've been edo tensei'ed the whole time!

"Calm down, dear. What have you done here?" Tobirama asked, petting his husband's hair.

"I just wanted to bring you back..."

"Oh dear... You stupid, stupid man," Tobirama shook his head and kissed him, while the whole Alliance watches shocked.

And this is a story how Tobirama stopped the 4th war singlehandedly.

Ofc there's Obito, but they sic Naruto on him and it's all good. Though Black Zetsu tried something, but Tobirama is fucking READY for him. He will avenge his husband's sanity.

Before they go to Pure Lands again, Tobirama said to Tsunade, Kakashi and Naruto "Fucking fix your history books! I love my husband since I was 9!" (he actually didn't, but no one should know about it, okay)

And Madara is there just clinging to Tobirama with all his body and refusing to let go. He doesn't care about Eternal Tsukuyomi anymore, cuz he can hug his husband once more.

Migraine AUs sure are interesting

[hoshigray]

Just thinking about hate sex with Toji and how fucking exhilarating yet unforgiving it would be to experience such a thing with that man.

A/n: (Reuploaded bc I forgot smthn my bad) A little something for y'all so I can whip up something in my drafts to celebrate 50+ followers and getting 1k notes on my daddy toji drabble!! Tysm again for the love!!! :')))

Cw: mean dom! Toji x fem! reader - spanking (1x) - doggy style then switch to missionary position - degradation (Toji calls you a "lil' girl," "bitch," and "ho") - pet names (dollface, baby, baby cakes, sweetheart) - Toji biting your shoulder - slight bondage; the reader has their hands tied behind them - the reader feels humiliated while Toji is his cocky egotistic self - mention of blood.

Wc: 575

Toji's so ruthless with you. Your face's kissing the cold floor, hands tied behind your arched back for Toji to do whatever he wants with your ass on full display.

The pace of his hips is so absurdly harsh your legs feel as if they're about to give way, and you can do nothing but receive his irrational treatment. You can feel his dick use your swollen cunt like a toy, his girth stretching your poor southern lips, and it hurts along with the merciless rhythm.

You try not to cry as tears prickle under your eyelids. The fucker of a man already has you in a humiliating position, and his hands leave crescent markings from his fingers on the side of your hips. Seeing your face in tears is the last thing he needs to see.

Toji bends down to your ear, his body weight pressing down on yours, and it has to take you biting your lip hard to suppress a moan from your lips. The taste of blood sits on your taste buds.

"What's wrong, dollface?" The husky voice almost makes you squeeze hard on his cock. God, you hate this man so fucking much. "You were talkin' some high and mighty shit not too long ago, where'd that pretentious bitch go? Wanna — hnngh! Shit, shit… Wanna hear that sweet voice again."

You peer at him through your shoulder. The aggrieved glare isn't taken seriously by the older man. "Hmph, pretentious? Quite a big word, didn't think a brute like you knew i- Iiiyaaaaah!!!"

A hard smack to your ass has you gasping for air, followed by your pussy gripping his manhood, and Toji has to use your shoulders as leverage to not cum in haste. You feel as if you can't breathe with all this pressure and weight on top of you. A tear finally comes down from your face and smears onto the ground.

"I'm not playin' games with you, ho." Toji gnashes his teeth and draws downward to bite your shoulder blade, earning an ear-piercing shriek from you. That outta teach ya a lesson. "Got anythin' else smart to say, lil' girl?"

You can't fight the tears at this point, letting them slide down your pretty face. The pathetic and humiliating atmosphere clouds your senses so much so that crying is the only thing left to do.

"Hic…N-No…" Your sobs come out naturally, and you do what you can to hide your face from Toji.

That didn't seem to be in your favor because he heard the weep, bringing himself up to switch your position. Your front is now facing him as he can see the tear-stricken face, and the glare you give him is through squinted eyes filled with anger and misery, proof that your dignity is broken.

Toji whistles and smirks. "Heh, if you could see the look on your face, baby. I'd love to have a picture of it in my wallet."

"F…Fuck you." Your spat with words that still possess venom, even if you're physically restrained.

"News flash, baby cakes:" An unforeseen thrust has you yelp aloud, so harsh and savage that your back arches towards Toji. He sneers. "Already am."

His pace returns at its relentless tempo, his dick bullying your insides, and you moan in helpless whimpers. Toji leans down to grab your face before he kisses you to shut your cries. "And I'm gonna enjoy every moment of it, sweetheart."

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

Again, tysm for the support!! It really fills my heart when y'all like my stuff, and I hope to continue writing things I like~~

[keyotosprompts]

not easy to please ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

alternatives to popular tropes

⇴ siblings's worst enemy

they're your sibling's enemy, so of course they're yours too. they're despicable and you seriously want them dead. luckily for you, the feeling's mutual.

⇴ struggling ceo and their know-it-all office worker

how did this mf become the ceo of one of the most progressive countries in the world?? they're clueless and you're the one that has to fix all their mistakes. you seriously don't get paid enough for this (unless they can come up with another way to pay you).

⇴ marriage of inconvenience

what happens in vegas stays in vegas. except when you've signed an official marriage contract, and everything is so much more complicated before. now this person is stuck with you until you can divorce! (or will you?)

⇴ forbidden hate

your parents absolutely adore the idea of the two of you together. they have wedding pinterest boards, future plans, and baby names for the two of you. only one thing: you two kinda hate each other, and hell would have to freeze over before you'd ever get with them.

⇴ no more second chances

sorry dude! f'ed up really bad the first time, and now you're not giving anymore chances, and your ex has to deal with the consequences. one problem: they can't deal with the consequences bc they're literally in love with you. hm. just what will this person do to get you back?

⇴ not so secret identity

everyone knows who they are. not even the old mask and hat trick could prevent people from identifying them. and it's fine–they absolutely bask in the fame. one problem though: they're a constant target to the entire world. perfect!

⇴ separated from each other

they never get any alone time. alone together in an elevator? too bad, a party of ten just showed up, pushing the two of you on the opposite side of the elevator. finally alone at home? nope! unfortunately, your friends make a surprise visit! oh how will you two ever get past this?

⇴ "you deserved it."

a normal person would've asked "who did this to you?" except your bond is not normal. not in the slightest. i mean seriously, what does this person want from you?

⇴ "i can't have you, so i'll let someone else take my place."

they know that they're not good enough for you, and that you deserve someone better than them. so, they choose to let you go, and hope that someone else can make your world light up like they used to

⇴ the one that is still here

everywhere you go, this person is there. whether it's physically, mentally, or spiritually, everything ties back to them. everything reminds you of them. you couldn't even escape if you tried.

⇴ playboy but he's actually a nerd that cannot get play

he's gorgeous–he's the most attractive man you think you've ever seen in your life. you think he's probably got it all–girls or boys coming up to him nonstop. only, that's not true in the slightest. somehow, he's managed to fumble every single time.

⇴ nobody wants the bad boy

he's troubled. there are rumors of him starting fights 24/7, and he lives in a bad area. he could really fuck someone up. nobody wants him.

⇴ "you must be delusional"

lovers that know that they're in love with each other, but when admitting it to their friends, they shut down their feelings.

⇴ loving someone to save them

none of that breaking up nonsense. love is power. their love and support causes you to be stronger than ever. knowing that there's love out there gives you a reason to keep on going. love saves you.

⇴ too smart to live

you've outdone yourself this time. bypassed every guard, rule, and law without anyone catching you. so, of course, there's only one solution here: to eliminate you.

⇴ different worlds (revised)

you grew up poor while they grew up rich. now, in the present, you are the more successful one, while they are struggling to get their life together. now, you must help the one who used to be in your current position, and fix things together.

⇴ one-sided blind date

rule one of having a blind date: you should not know who you're meeting. well, too late! you sneaked a peek at your friend's phone and found out who you'll be seeing soon. now, you're scrambling to get out of this date because you know exactly who it is.

[quantum1mmortality]

Ok so I was thinking about a smut with a leech and wanted to ask you to do (i love how u write)

What about a AFAB!reader that likes to open her mouth and sometimes you do it without realizing it.

I read somewhere that eels have it like an invitation to mate or something like that (dont remember so much)

And about if is jade or floyd… well, both are my favs so I cant choose. What works better I guess

EEK TYSM!!! I feel as tho floyd would fit this better bc jade is a smart boy, probs knows that humans just open their mouths wide for random shit but floyd

...

Hes a lil stupid when it comes to these things(I love him I swear)

10/10, would fuck in the VIP room again

-floyd probably lmao(also the name of the fic)

♧CW!!! fem reader, breeding kink yas slay, unsafe sex(wear condoms kids), degrading(? Floyd calls us a slut for yawning around other men but he loves us 🤞), little to no foreplay hes too hawny, semi public sex, pwp?, mentions of jade but light, none that I can think of right now but floyd is such a silly little goose(im terrified of him)

NOT PROOFREAD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

♧ you were originally here to study.

Seeing as your boyfriend, Floyd, was nowhere to be seen. Sitting in the mostro lounge while waiting for Floyd to be on break was a normal occurrence.

Since it had been awhile with slight glimpses of him taking care of customers, you decided to start studying on your own. Opening up a text book and starting to read and take notes, Jade comes over with your order.

"Apologies for my brother taking so long. The customers he has are being seriously rude, we're trying our best to have him not squish them." Jade says as he places your tea on the table in front of you.

"How long will he be?" You ask as you take a small sip of your tea. Jade rests his chin on his hand as he closes his eyes, seemingly in thought.

"Soon." He simply says as he walks away.

Although odd, you've gotten used to Jades strange behavior. As you were about to return to studying, you spotted Floyd waiting on the table across from you. He shoots you a smile before turning back to his customers.

You took that as a sign to go back to studying. Flipping open your text book, you begin to take notes again. As you get further into the book, your eyelids begin to feel heavy. Resting your head on your hand, you start to close your eyes for longer periods once blinking.

As you began to drift off to a light sleep, you felt yourself yawning as you began to shift in your chair.

Having finally settled in a comfortable position, you begin to get lulled into a peaceful sleep by the surround sound of calming music in the lounge.

Drifting off, you get woken up by a sudden loud noise. "Boo!" It was Floyd, creeping up behind you just to scare you awake. Playfully punching his chest as you complain about how you just fell asleep, he takes your hand, leading you off somewhere.

"Floyd, where are you taking me?" You say between giggles. "Somewhere, it'll be fun, I promise." He says as he gives you a wink.

He leads you to the VIP room, which usually isn't occupied by anyone, like now. Just the two of you. He turns around to lock the door, he turns back to you, eyes widened with an unpleasant look on his face.

"That thing you did out there, I cant believe you did it infront of other men. Do you understand what they may think now? Think im not your boyfriend? Think I dont treat you well enough?" Confusion. All you felt in the moment was pure confusion.

"Floyd, what the fuck are you talking about? I was just studying, nothing happened." You could tell he was getting frustrated. "That thing! Where you opened your mouth wide!"

"You mean yawning? The.... thing people do.... when they're tired?"

"You can't do that around merfolk." Oh. Oh? This seems like something you can tease him on.

"Oh? And whys that, Mr eel boy?" You say as you chuckle. Somehow, floyd got even more pissed at this, he slammed both your arms above you and against the wall behind you, eyes still wide, and very much angry.

"You don't understand what you're doing. You're making a mating invite by doing that, what if the other merfolk saw? Or worse, what if Jade saw?"

"Floyd im sorry okay, I didn't mean to, seriously-" you were cut off by him smashing his lips onto yours, you fed into it, not resisting in the slightest.

He began to sink his head down to your neck, making soft bites on it and licking up the semi bloody aftermath. "If you want to act like a slut, then I'll fuck you like one." He says before digging his open hend into the flesh of your thigh and biting down on your collar bone.

You choke out a groan at the sudden pain as floyd slowly kisses the bite, making it feel more pleasurable than anything.

Once hes done, he looks up at you. "You're okay with this, right?"

"Yeah, just don't do anything stupid." You're able to say between puffs of hot air. Giving you a smile, he hooks his finger under the strap of your panties, taking his other hand off your wrists. Sliding down the peice of fabric while biting off his glove, he starts to suck on your neck as he begins to work his fingers into you.

Taking his thumb and rubbing it over your clit as he slowly sinks two fingers inside you. You moan out as he begins to curl them in you, sucking on the bite mark you made earlier.

"F-fuck... I cant take it anymore." Floyd groans out as he unbuckles his belt. Lining up his thick cock with your hole, "You're sure you're okay with this, right?" He says one last time in a panted breath.

"Yes just... don't do anything stupid-" and you were cut off once again by him doing something stupid.

He thrusts his whole length into you at once, earning a low, throaty groan from him as you were just trying to find stability. He takes both you thighs and wraps them around his waist, being able to hit much deeper in the position.

Mere seconds later, all the pain you felt turned into pure, absolute pleasure as he started fucking you against the wall.

Filling the room with moans of utter bliss from the both of you, having Floyd come completely undone after minutes. "I'm gonna fill you up so fucking good- make everyone know you're mine- have those other eel bitches know if you're gonna be a slut, you're gonna be mine, understood?"

You're barely able to make his words out as you start to feel lightheaded from the pleasure. His grip on you tightens as you feel him twitch inside you. "Fuck, im gonna-" he was cut off by a powerful moan as he came inside you, slowing down his pace in the process.

Floyd slowly sinks down to the floor as he places you down on it, leaving you for a moment as he grabs a wash cloth. He starts to clean you in silence, waiting for you to say something. You were too tired to speak, however.

Once you're clean, he makes himself presentable again as he picks you up and walks you back to your table. Once he sets you down, he walks off and brings back a bottle of water and some snacks.

"Dont worry, they're on me." He says with a wink.

As he turns to walk away, you grab onto his sleeve to get his attention. He leans in close to hear you over the bustling crowd. "Floyd, I didn't get to fini-" he places his index finger over your mouth.

"Now, now, I didn't forget my dear, I promise. If you're good today then I'll double it tonight, hm?" And with that, he walks off and returns to his job where jade and azul kept yelling at him for bailing.

As you sit in silence while occasionally looking over at Floyd, he makes eye contact with you while being yelled at. Going back to you table, you realize something, your tea has gone cold.

Oh dear, whoever will you call over to replace it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: i had no clue how to end this fic wiwhwihsiwow im going insane

[chaosisalwayscrying]

NSFW ABC’S

⇥ synopsis : nsfw abcs for matt!!

⇥ warnings : smut/suggestive content

⇥ extra : SORRY THIS IS LATE TOO SORRY

⇥ masterlist !

⇥ taglist !

A = Aftercare (how they’re like after sex)

literally the best at aftercare. argue w the wall. peppers your face with kisses and is so so gentle. pulls out slowly and immediately goes to get you a warm rag or run you a bath and cuddles you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

he loves his arms, he loves the way he can lift you and hold you against the wall or how they carry you to the bathtub and back to bed

he LOVES your boobs. biggest boob guy ever. loves laying on them and pushing his dick in between them and leaving hickeys on them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

started out using condoms but he was not a fan at all. he used them to be safe and you never complained so he figured it was what you preferred. but you both were too in the moment to remember once and you stopped using them since (dw ur on bc)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

before you got together he accidentally spied on you in the shower and gor SO HORNY that he had to leave the house so you didnt catch him masturbating 😭

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

had one body before you but it was the awkward first time so he wasnt sure what to do, but luckily you were experienced and guided him through it

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

cowgirl. loves when you ride him, and loves watching your boobs bounce in his face

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

hes accidentally funny during intimate sex. theres times when stuff isnt as seriously intimate and he can make a joke or two, but hes more serious

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

trimmed, not buzzcut shaved but not a bush, perfect hair length.

has no preference to how long your hair is, as long as youre happy with it !!

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

loves being romantic, rose petals on the bed, candles, the whole nine yards. wants you to feel loved and appreciated

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

only does it when you cant be with him, like on tour and in boston, uses your instagram pics OR asks you to send him nudes

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

choking, loves to choke you, and loves you be choked (we all saw him in larrays vid.)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

the van, his bed, the shower, anywhere private

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

weirdly, matt loves when you cook. it makes him think of the future, how youd be with kids, how youd look pregnant, which just makes his breeding kink act up

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)

roleplay, thinks its really weird and he just cant find it hot

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

yes hes matt the munch but i think he just LOVES the sight of you with his dick shoved down your throat. hes so good at eating you out, and he could sit there for hours, but he could also watch you choke on his dick for hours

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

can do both, depends on his mood and the situation. he can go fast and rough if you ask or if hes frustrated, but if its a gentle day or in the morning, soft and slow is his go to

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

LOVES QUICKIES IN THE VAN. will literally send nick and chris in a store by themselves so you can ride him in the drivers seat. in any other place, hes 50/50

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

kind of, doesnt like the idea of being caught but DOES love doing it in mildly obvious places. wouldnt do it in a dressing room or store bathroom, but would in the bathroom of his friends house or in the van in a parking lot.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

three max, usually lasts long but sometimes he doesnt so it depends on how long he can last

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

none for himself but you own a vibrator. he uses it on you if hes feeling mean or if you convince him (it doesnt take much) he lets you use it on him

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

can be unfair, and he loves to be unfair sometimes, but he also loves when youre unfair to him

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

mostly low grunts or whines in your ear, but if your riding him hes not very good at being quiet. (which is why you can only do so when the house is empty)

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

hates sex scenes in media 😭

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

not that girthy but hes LONGGGGGGG. he hits all the right places 😇

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

7/10, he can go a while without sex but he can get going easy

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

he can stay awake long enough to clean you both up and get your both redressed and put something on the tv, but then hes out

⇥ TAGS !

@sturnioloshacker @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hertvgirl @cupidzsq @sturnnie @leah-loves-lilies @billkaulitz0630 @sturniolololover @stqrnstars @cicicinquistausa @tylerthecreatorsrealwife

[frankiensteinsmonster]

While I understand the sentiment of encouraging abled body to use canes as a fashion statement for the normalization of mobility aid usage

I think it's definitely irresponsible for us to not acknowledge the actual physical detriment that can come from using a mobility aid you don't need. Like this Is a necessary medical device that impacts the body with repeated/incorrect use

And not to stereotype, but able bodied people are Not going to do the research necessary to keep themselves safe-- hell, even *I* didn't know there were Cane Rules™ before I started seriously looking into getting a cane.

Also, if they're not cripples and they're Just Using A Cane, they aren't going to be in the know of any of our social guidelines/what's considered rude as fuck bc it'll be just another object to them (not that this isn't already the case, but moreso this time)

If anything, I think we need to focus on intercommunity respect for when it comes to things like decorating our canes as disabled people who actually need them + making sure the folks who Do need them know that it's okay to get them. I see people who are suffering everywhere who are unsure if they're even "allowed" to get a mobility aid, and if they did, if they would be taking something away from someone else who "might need it more"

Personally, I don't think able bodied people should need to use mobility aids as accessories in order for us to gain the respect of the general public as disabled people. I think people should just respect us without being "allowed" (literally nobody is stopping them as we speak lol) to use these things that are medically necessary for us in a trivial way-- I also don't think I've seen any other demographic encourage this sort of thing with the goal of general acceptance.

As someone with intersectional identities, the general consensus I see is just. They shouldn't have to Be Like Us for us to be normalized, respected, of accepted.

We inherently deserve these things. Without granting people outside of the community, who don't need these, permission to use the things We Need. I personally don't even see it as an act of solidarity or positivity, just a chance to cause non phys disabled people more confusion surrounding our boundaries as cripples. Let me know if I'm missing something, but be polite.

[3416]

good morning, i still can't believe (yes i can) that a legitimate nhl insider is out here saying . yes the greatest goal scorer has an agreement in place with his team about WHO he plays with and it's understood that they will be longtime franchise players for the leafs as a duo. that is the plan. that is am34's plan for the leafs.

like i jsut. i.... in this sport where these men get torn apart for even Saying they have a preference bc its a team sport and they need to just accept whatever position they're put in... it's THAT important to wannabe-chill and lowkey auston matthews (read: actual control freak who Wants to appear a certain way) that he gets to play with mitch marner after being denied for a while as a rookie............ his favorite guy.... his apple tree......... his bff since rookie year....

that's part of his reason for staying a maple leaf and his longterm plan for being in toronto.......... bro. like to have theories about it vs to have an insider saying it's something that's openly discussed w the leafs org. to think about all the times auston gets bitchy with the media after being split w mitch or when they try to pry about something mitch and auston got pulled to the side for specifically.... god DAMN. im so emotional over them like they really do love each other so fucking much

i didn't realize when auston said "we would never do this without you" he meant it so seriously

[fairuzfan]

why do so many liberal zionists add "non-palestinian" in front of "non-jewish" whenever they complain about antizionists and insist that all the palestinians are just offscreen agreeing with them about the real way to peace? do they not realize palestinians have social media accounts or are they just banking on everyone else also isolating themselves in a zionist echo chamber with no actual palestinians to contradict them? bc theyre not convincing anyone who knows that every single palestinian on here and online in general fucking hates them. like i know it's a rhetorical darvo to paint antizionism as a privileged western gentile position of ppl that can't possibly understand the complex issue who just want to hate Bad Jews but its so insane to see them rbing literal palestinians to call them raging antisemites and then the next post is about how every palestinian actually supports a two state solution and condemns hamas and this is spearheaded by "western tankie gentiles"

i havent been like interacting with zionists or looking at their blogs these past couple months because i can't take that much anger in my life anymore and ive come to the point where it doesn't matter what they say they're seriously intellectually dishonest and useless. the people who listen to them and agree with them have a vested interest in keeping the state of israel functioning and if they wanna pretend its for "peace" go right ahead but dont pretend like youre the authority on these things lol. in general ive only taken to reblogging zionist additions to my posts to let people know to block.

it might be the latest zionist strategy of saying "non palestinians and nonjews" to reinforce the idea that its an "internal" issue (which its not to be clear) and they proceed to ignore the fact that palestinians are begging people to get involved to help them. but whatever! the people who are convinced by them at this point are people who genuinely dont care about palestinians at all and i am not willing to argue with them on this.

i will say, zionists on here have become more brazenly pro-fascist! either in interacting with fascists or letting fascist speak in their spaces or even just defending them under the guise of "defending jews" (think of the bingo blocklist. they're still at it btw, the bingo board, but like i have yet to see a single person on the zionist side of tumblr at all admonish the idea of the bingo at all which is telling in itself.) anyways these people are disgusting and selfish and like i say, i abhor selfishness more than anything.

[keyotos]

hey!! can i request hsr men (specifically dan heng but anyone else works too) hcs for how they are with children???

little ankle biters (endearingly)

summary ⎯ hsr men spend time with kids!!

includes ⎯ dan heng, gepard, and jing yuan

tana's words ⎯ kids r so fun. i never understood the whole "i want to kick children" thing bc obviously you aren't a fun and happy person u miserable depressed freak. anyway i hope u enjoy!!

also pls forgive me if i take a little long w/ requests. i've been soo busy w/ my personal life so i'm really trying i promise

dan heng

⎯ he's awkward at first, but as he spends more time with them, he becomes less awkward and more relaxed.

⎯ so sarcastic around children. but since they're children, they don't understand it and think he's being serious. it's so amusing when you hear them all gasp at his sentences.

⎯ this all started when you dragged dan heng along to play with the kids in boulder town. at first, he wanted to refuse because he thought it would have been awkward (it was), but after some begging from your side dan heng eventually gave in.

⎯at first, dan heng was just there. the kids mostly gravitated towards you and he had no reason to get in the way with that. he was happy to admire you play around with them; besides, he was able to help you win at hide n' seek without cheating.

⎯ noticing his behavior, you didn't want to see him missing out any longer. so you, after seeing him distance himself from the kids, had an idea. you asked dan heng if you could borrow his spear. you then used to carefully poke yourself in the stomach in front of the kids, then you fell dramatically on the ground.

dan heng, confused by your actions, watched you roll around on the ground. the children were laughing, asking if you were okay or not. you continued rolling around, clutching your stomach, until you called out for dan heng, "dan heng! the brave hero! help me!!" you called out.

dan heng's eyes widened. you were acting like you were in pain when you were perfectly fine. and the children were convinced. when they all looked up at him with pleading eyes, dan heng knew he had no choice. he grabbed you by the arm to try to pull you up, but you didn't budge.

he pulled harder, yet there was still no movement from you. for a second, dan heng thought you were actually hurt before you opened your eyes and gave him a wink. you were met with a sigh of disbelief from dan heng. since he didn't say anything, you took this as an opportunity for phase two, "i need you to carry me," you whispered.

dan heng's face recoiled, "why?"

"please," you held on tighter to his hand, interlocking your fingers together. you squeezed his hand to convince him even further. dan heng knew he was screwed when he lifted you up from the ground and held you in his arms: if you were a drug, he would constantly be addicted to you.

"oh!" you exaggerated, making your voice extra loud, "i am saved! the hero of boulder town saved me!!" dan heng was trying to duck his head away from you, saving himself from further embarrassment. it didn't work, however, as he heard one of the kids say, "me next!! me next!!"

and so he spent the next hour taking kids in his arms, spinning them around, and trying to refrain from making too many sarcastic comments. for once, it seemed as though he toned down his seriousness for the kids. they were overjoyed, and they begged you guys to stay for more hours. sadly, the two of you had to refuse.

"you had fun, didn't you," you smirked while walking hand-in-hand through bouldertown.

"perhaps. did you have fun with your little scheme?" he turned his head around to look at you.

"i did," you smiled and wrapped your arm around his. "i hope to do this again some day."

yeah, dan heng hoped as well. he ended the day off with you by his side and with more positive thoughts about the children of boulder town than before.

gepard

⎯ as the captain of the silvermane guards, he had many many kids who looked up to him. even the kids in the underworld (who had never seen him before) were completely enthralled by him. he had numerous little girls wanted to marry him, as well as numerous little boys who wanted to be him.

⎯ that being said, he has very little experience with children. since he's always so busy, he never really has time to get to know belobog. yes, he does go patrolling, but that is much different than exploring all the nooks and crannies of the city, learning its customs, its culture, its people.

⎯ you've noticed this over the past few years. so you decided to change that. one day, a day where gepard finally got a day off, you took him to go sightseeing throughout the city. gepard claims he's already seen the entirety of belobog, but you think differently.

⎯ so, you've decided to drag him out of his office as a way to interact with the people he's protecting. especially the kids.

"me and captain gepard are getting married one day," you hear a little girl whisper, "he's so nice to me. he saved me and my mom once," she gossiped.

gepard looked thoroughly surprised at the girl's theory. he was about to say something before another kid butt in, "captain gepard is too busy to get married to you," he snided, "he'll be the captain and i'll be his vice-captain!"

the girl scoffed, "vice-captain isn't a thing, idiot."

you laughed at the kids' encounter with each other. they were absolutely adorable; childhood innocence in times like these is a true example of one of the worlds' wonders. "aren't they cute," you bumped gepard's shoulder, "this is what you've been missing out on."

"i had forgotten how kids behaved," gepard says in shock. "it's been a while since i was a kid."

you smirked, suddenly having an idea, "well, you can always relive it!" you shoved gepard into the circle of children.

suddenly, the girl who had been so pompous before turned away from gepard, trying to hide her flushed expression. the boy who was boasting about becoming a "vice captain" had eyes that shined brighter than the stars themselves.

"captain gepard!!" the children exclaimed. he'd never been out and about in the city before; they immediately knew this was a rare occasion. they surrounded him quickly, jumping and clapping. gepard towered over all the children, a sight that you found endearing.

"captain gepard! i want to be your vice captain soon!!" the insistent boy yelled. "and stephanie wants to marry you," he snitched.

"jacob!" the girl shoved, "that was supposed to be a secret," she scolded. jacob simply shrugged in response. trying his best not to get in between the sibling quarrell (gepard has already lived through too many of those), he turned his head around, mouthing for help.

you smiled, shook your head, and walked towards him, "okay guys, chill out. do you guys want to ask him anything?" you wrapped your arms around gepard's shoulders. it was an act of reassurance, whilst still letting the kids have fun.

"yeah," stephanie answered, "do they let stupid people," she eyed jacob, "into the silvermane guards?"

"hey!" jacob elbowed stephanie, "you're just mad because his real partner is right next to him," he gestured towards you.

your eyes widened synchronically, both of you turning towards each other. "i⎯ we're not," you blush, suddenly getting hot. the thought of marriage has crossed your mind before, but hearing these children speculate was just embarrassing.

while you try to stutter out a response, gepard silently takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand with a smile adorning his lips. you were right, this was fun.

jing yuan

⎯ actually amazing with kids. he is the perfect mix of fun and caring. literal father vibes.

⎯ kids in the xianzhou adore him. they look up to him, much like they do with gepard, but jing yuan is less awkward. however, since he's so busy, he doesn't have much time to go down and play with them.

⎯ i guess he kinda missed out on his childhood?? it wasn't unhappy bc he ended up doing something he liked, but he never had the "normal" childhood experience. but he understands children to a certain extent, like their excitement over things (ex. yanqing with swords).

⎯ type to share stories. not rlly the type to play w/ them bc he has a whole ass POLEARM. that would be very dangerous and very bad.

finally, there was a day where jing yuan had a ounce of free time to spare with you. of course, you two had your nights, early mornings, and (occasionally) evenings, but you two never had more than an hour together (not counting sleep).

so, what other way to celebrate than to finally explore what you two have missed out on? you two haven't been down in star-skiff haven in what seems like years. with your busy schedules and many prominent tasks, it was hard to make free time to leave the house a lot.

you two have been sightseeing the entire day; viewing all the star-skiffs that passed by, trying all the food, even going around various markets. but none of those amused you much as the children playing in the center of star-skiff haven did.

they were running around, jumping, and betting on star-skiffs. they all had their own individual cliques, it seemed; they were all hanging out separately.

"do you remember what it was like, being in a clique?" you turned to jing yuan who was observing the children.

"i spent most of my life training, so no," he took a sip from a drink he bought. noticing your interest in his drink, he held it out towards you, which prompted you to take a sip. you let out a sigh of delight.

"thanks," you leaned onto him, "i remember being in one of these childhood cliques. i was the freaking leader of all the children," you bragged.

"oh really?" jing yuan raised an eyebrow, "why don't you go over there and show them who's the boss?" his lips raised in a smug smile.

"i'm getting too old," you waved him off, to which jing yuan shook his head in disagreement, "you could get out there though, general."

"told you not to call me general," he pointed a finger in your face. you responded by trying to bite it off. sadly, it didn't work, as jing yuan's reflexes prove once again why he remains the general. "what would i do out there?"

"you could tell them stories," you rocked back and forth on your heels, "did you ever play with kids your age?"

"sometimes, before i started training to be apart of the cloud knights, though. but i can't really remember my life back then," he looked to the carefree kids, eyes filled with admiration.

"you could spend some time with them now," your voice raised a little bit, "you have time," you told in a soft voice.

"i suppose i do," jing yuan grinned at you.

jing yuan was popular with the children, to say the least. it seems that you would've had a rival back then; if jing yuan didn't join the cloud knights, of course. nonetheless, it was an endearing sight to see jing yuan converse with the children who were gathered by him.

he treated them so well, similar to how he would treat yanqing. he told them stories, exaggerating them to just the right amount. and every time one of them would smile, laugh, or gasp, he'd always turn towards you, giving you a smile of your own.

for someone who spent most of their childhood whisked away, jing yuan was practically a child himself.

jing yuan's probably ooc but lets IGNORE THAT and focus on how i managed to finish 2 requests in one day!!!! 2 more here we come!!!!!!!!

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

"I don't support it in real life!"CW: talk of sexualizing minors, slight rant

Then why write about it? If for coping purposes, why post it online for others (especially actual predators) to see and consume? Then why portray those things in a positive light instead of condemning them?And you're seriously going to tell me that just because as an adult (1) you want to see a fictional minor (that mind you, is usually designed to resemble an actual child) depicted in sexual situations doesn't mean you don't share that same view concerning children in real life? You find fictional minors attractive but not real ones? Why does the line between finding someone who is (and usually also looks like) a child sexually attractive get drawn at whether the child is real or not? I'm not calling anyone pedophiles, but if the shoe fits...(1) No I am not talking about 18 y/os finding 17 y/os attractive. Use your brain. Creating content of underaged characters is still questionable regardless of age, however.

"Just mute/block instead of harassing others!"I have nearly 70k people blocked on twitter, and hundreds of words and tags muted, I softblock and mute people who post things I don't want to see. I still see certain things on my timeline, usually because1) It's posted in the main tags of something I'm interested in2) The post isn't even tagged at all3) If someone quote retweets from someone I've blocked, I still see the take on my timeline.

"Antis use the same rhetoric as exclusionists and TERFS!"What exactly does being against pedophilia have to do with trans (women) exclusionary radical feminism?And what does lgbtq discourse in general have to do with not wanting minors to be sexualized?

"Antis harass people!"Apparently, proshippers have never done this before! Not once has a grown adult stalked literal children for calling their ships gross!Not saying harassments ok at all, but let's not act like the poor proshippers are being oppressed here.Also, I promise you, someone saying "x is a proshipper, please block them if you don't want to see their content" is not harassment. Writing callout posts and videos on underaged "antis", however is most definitely harassment but y'all don't want to hear that. People have the right to know if they are platforming people who go against their personal beliefs and morals. Choosing to hide that from people who would otherwise not want to interact with you for the sake of not wanting to "lose friends" makes you a bad person, and you should feel bad.

replying under the cut bc this ask was long enough, and i don't wanna make ppl who follow us/see this have to scroll for eons

why do you think coping mechanisms have to stay private? if someone's coping mechanism was yoga, or working out, would you say they have to do that by themselves, in the confines of their own house, and they aren't allowed to talk to anyone else about it? i hope not, because that would be ridiculous (inb4 "yeah but yoga isn't harming anyone!", neither is fiction!).

the fact of the matter is, anyone can consume any type of content, and that shouldn't prevent people from making what they like. why not portray it in a positive light? what does it matter? any regular person knows that what they see in fiction should not necessarily be replicated in real life. i know better than to go out and kill someone just because billy loomis and stu macher do it.

furthermore, wouldn't you want actual pedophiles to use fiction rather than them going out and hurting real children? that's not how that works, but using your argument that they're one and the same, wouldn't that be better for everyone, and result in less people getting hurt, ergo fiction doesn't hurt anyone?

no, fictional characters are not meant to resemble actual children. that IS a crime. however, you cannot look at an anime child, or idk, kid ashley from TCOAAL, and tell me that looks like a REAL child. that's nonsense. and no, it does NOT mean i "share the same view concerning children in real life", because those characters aren't real, and i (can't believe i have to say this) am NOT attracted to real children. yes, you ARE calling me a pedophile, which is just categorically not true. it's not "questionable" because it's not REAL, which is necessary for someone to be diagnosed with pedophilia, which is a disorder, and not just some label you can put on people.

genuinely, if you are THAT sensitive to people having other opinions, or are sensitive to different kinds of art, maybe social media isn't the place for you to be. if the post isn't tagged, i agree, something should be done about that, but the fact is, WE DO tag our stuff. that has nothing to do with me (or chica), or even proshippers as a whole. you're doing the thing were you believe one rotten apple spoils the bunch.

when you post something online, you HAVE to understand that literally anyone can view it, and if your accounts aren't private, anyone can interact with it. that is the cost of posting online. if you can't handle that, log off.

i don't think i've ever compared being an anti to being a terf/exclus, BUT they do objectively share some of the same opinions as conservatives, and even nazis (which is NOT to say all antis are conservatives/nazis, but that you share some of the same ideals).

i can't speak much to that because i don't think i've ever made that argument, but it is a lil radfem-y when most of y'all go after specifically BL and yaoi. also terfs aren't only bigoted towards trans women, it's also trans men. idk why you said that.

yes, correct, anyone can harass anyone, but the fact of the matter is, 99% of the time proshippers get harassed, it's while we're in our own lanes, minding our own business, and y'all (much like you're doing right now) come into OUR spaces and call us pedophiles, and say we deserve to die, or that we should kill ourselves.

if you've been following this blog for the last week-ish, you'd have seen some prime examples of just that. doing nothing, talking to no one, and getting harassed. people saying i should be on watchpeopledie, saying i should be killed, that they hope i get cancer, or die in a car accident, or that my dad beats me to death. that i should "slit", cut to the bone, kill myself, hang myself. threatening to doxx me, find my address, have tried to grab my ip. the difference is, when proshippers are found to be doing this stuff, they're called out and reported, often by other proshippers, whereas antis, when they exhibit this behavior, they are encouraged. they're praised by their peers.

if all people did was say "x is a proshipper, block them", we wouldn't have an issue, but the fact is, a significant amount of y'all don't start with blocking. you start with slurs, nasty names, disgusting accusations, and downright deplorable behavior BEFORE you block us. if you block us. and when we block you, it's entirely possible you just create a new account to harass us from, or grab your friends to do it for you.

if platforming people who like different types of fiction than you is that big of a problem, that you feel the need to write callouts, make google docs, harass them, and threaten to doxx them, you need to get off the internet. stop interacting with people AT ALL. live in a bubble. because again, people you don't like are always going to exist on the internet, it's your duty to navigate that in the best way you can, WITHOUT hurting anyone.

people hide the fact they're proship because we don't want the harassment. that's sorta the crux of the issue? you're completely ignoring the COUNTLESS posts of people being harassed for simply existing and being proship. we shouldn't be made to feel bad for trying to protect ourselves and our peace, YOU should be made to feel bad for making others feel bad.

[evansbby]

BESTIE BESTIES OMGGGG I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING SO DEPRAVED OMGSJSJKSK. Older!Coach!Ari is a famous sports coach/trainer and is training reader on her upcoming badminton match. Basically reader is a typical rich brat and is constantly butting and being bratty with Ari, but deep down all she wants is to be praised and coddled. Ari at first hates her bcs rich girlies are annoying but then once he recognizes that her brattiness is all just an act and that she's actually just a soft hopeless unloved bean irl, he starts coddling her and praising her for playing good badminton. Like calling her a good girl, rubbing her hair, making her eat etc. Plus he's got all these cute nicknames for her.

And the best part!!!! Reader wears these pastel short ass tennis skirts (yk the ones!) and just practices her badminton in them. They're so cute and short that her lil ass is always peeking and every time she bends down to grab the shuttle, Ari can see her pretty pink panties. Ari would just come up behind her and slap her ass or hold her arm and try show her how to throw properly (yk the typical move where guys get behind the girl and teach her how to do something??). She's sooo tiny next to him and so soft and shy and bratty. He'd finger her right there on the practice ground and would scold her for trembling or moaning too much or not throwing the shuttle properly. Or he'd slap her baby cunt when she's being bratty or he'd make her go down on him and go down on her in the showers. He'd do everything but fuck her (plus points if she's a virgin owwww) and reader begs for it alllll the time but he'd always reject until!!! The reader finally wins the competition she was supposed to be trained for and Ari finallyyyy fucks her because she did such a good job. Basically it's just filthy and crazy and adorable. just everything is so rough and depraved but also soft???? Kill me.

This is so long and not coherent at all. I am sorry 😭. SHOULD I WRITE A FIC ON THIS????

Oooh bestie this is so hot! I’m no expert with moodboard, but I put something together 🫣

I can totally imagine beefy dilf tennis coach!Ari, he’s super strict with his students and always seems to be in a bad mood. He doesn’t even train girls because he thinks they don’t belong in the courts, but you’ve decided tennis is your new hobby and your rich dad pays the best coach around (Ari) to teach you… 🤔🤔

And Ari doesn’t even take you seriously, always calling you a “spoilt little girl” and “daddy’s little princess who hasn’t worked a day in her life” 😭 But you’re all sunshine and giggles and so soft and sweet and cute in your pastel tennis dresses and designer racquets and special pink tennis balls! And you’d pout at him like, “Please, sir, I just wanna be as good as you 🥺 won’t you help me?” And dilf!Ari tries to resist because you’re like half his age (🫣) and also bc you’re an annoying privileged brat but he can’t help but cop a feel when he’s trying to teach you how to stand and how to swing and all that. Just his fingers brushing against your butt or the way he grips your hips as he positions you on the court 🫠 and he can’t help but get excited and happy when you do well in practice, although he tries to hide it and keep up his grumpy, disinterested persona.

I can totally imagine you skipping over to sit in his lap during breaks, perched on his knee all innocently while Ari’s eyes practically bug out of his head at how cute you look, your pastel pink tennis skirt flaring up with the wind, the front of your dress all wet bc you’re swigging your water while making eye contact with him as half the bottle drips down your front. And Ari’s so hard because you smell like candy and you’re just so cute and sexy and little but he can’t, so he shoves you off all like, “watch it, little girl. I’m your coach, not one of your boy toys that you play around with.” And you just bat your lashes at him like, “I wouldn’t mind if you played around with me, daddy.”

And Ari just can’t take it anymore, and he drags you into the court changing rooms and pulls you over his knee and gives you a good bare bottom spanking 😳😳😳 “You want to act all slutty on my courts, little miss princess? I’ll show you what happens if you even try.” And he just spanks you till your ass is raw and then he makes you practice doubly hard but he can’t help but notice how submissive and cute you look and how you seem so interested in him and how he could really teach you a lesson or two (not to do with tennis). So he fingers you as a reward for practicing so hard, “And guess what, princess? Daddy can make you feel even better if you keep being good for me.” And you work sooo extra hard in your tennis bc you want to impress your daddy (Ari) 😌😌😌 and bc he promised to make you feel good! And you want to have sex with him soo bad bc you’re a virgin and you’re so ready but Ari won’t 😭😭😭 you’re like, “Please daddy, I’ll play even better in the competition if you fuck me🥺🥺🥺” And he slaps your baby cunt and tells you that daddy knows best and he’ll fuck you when he pleases 😭😭 ALSO THIS IS ALL KEPT A SECRET FROM YOUR FATHER OFC.

And I’ll stop there but bestie you inspired me so much!!! And idek where this all came from!!! I love this cute lil tennis concept you came up with!!! I just couldn’t help but keep writing bahahaha 💕💕💕🫣🫣🫣🌸🌸🌸🥰🥰💞💞