#every person in the grocery store not wearing a mask makes me feel unsafe!

[letsplayballet]

me: (being a little dramatic) haha yeah i wasn't expecting to need food for 10+ days last time i went grocery shopping mom: (was also sick, knows i'm covid positive) you just need to wear a mask you can still go out

[garbagetwat]

The realization that we are living through a pandemic has finally start to hit me. It cognitively hit a few weeks ago, but yesterday I went to the store, thinking that it would be relatively empty. I hadn’t eaten dinner and had a couple of hours left of my shift so I figured I would grab something quick on my break. When I entered, there were a few people loitering around the produce section but all seemed relatively calm. When I started walking toward the frozen section, though, people seemed like they were stacked on top of one another. Two girls walked so close by to reach for an iced coffee that I brushed against one’s coat. A man in a yellow sweater approached me. “Can I borrow your phone? I need to call my wife to see what else we need and I forgot mine at home.” He leaned in, far closer to me than the 6 feet– or even 12 inches– of social distancing should allow. I felt panic rise in my chest–not because he had asked me– but because I finally understood that the order for social distancing was real. People, and not just elderly people, have been dying from COVID-19 in the United States more rapidly in recent weeks. I’ve known several– all seemingly healthy– who were diagnosed, sequestering themselves at home, feeling miserable. What would typically be an innocuous exchange between two people suddenly felt sinister, as though both he and I would wake up in a few days with a spiked fever, a cough, and a fear that even we could grow so sick that we needed to be hospitalized.

Since Governor DeWine implemented the stay at home order for Ohioans, I’ve been trying to follow it, though I figured (at first) that as long as we stayed away from bars, hurried along with our pickup orders from Chipotle, and didn’t hang out in person with our friends, we would be okay. Going to the grocery store seemed, somehow, exempt from this category. It felt almost untouchable, as though COVID-19 would understand that we all needed to pick up eggs from time to time, or an occasional pack of Oreos and bottle of wine. After yesterday, I feel in my bones that nothing is truly secure. I’ve heard about portions of peoples’ lives where they felt unsafe, whether because of political regimes or wars. I had read about the Spanish flu when I was in middle school. But I had never lived through a time where interacting in a way I considered “normal” was halted. Needless to say, I’ve vacillated wildly between thinking that we will get through COVID-19 as a stronger community– hopefully one that will respect workers in all situations, and one that will provide to our planet rather than constantly taking from it– and thinking that we will never know the same level of normalcy that I once knew. In the same way that traveling was forever changed by 9/11, it’s hard to see, in the thick of this, whether or not our daily lives will have to change if we don’t develop a vaccine, if we don’t quarantine ourselves long enough, or if the virus mutates too quickly for us to deal.

I’m still going into work every day, where we have a seemingly ever-changing protocol on how to tackle COVID-19 and protect ourselves and our patients. We went from not wearing masks to being told that it would be beneficial. Right now, it’s “highly recommended.” My coworkers and I have been trying to laugh at the unpredictability of it all. That helps. I still talk to my friends over text and sometimes (often hilariously technologically-challenged) Zoom conference calls. But it’s still lonely. And I’m one of the lucky ones who’s still got an income, has access to health insurance, and has the ability to talk with people regardless of location. What has helped the most for me has been reading fictional and historical stories of societies and communities overcoming adversity. It might seem silly, but just knowing how much people have been able to conquer helps soothe. And I’m hoping that we will all come out of this a little stronger, but more importantly, more loving, more willing to tell ours stories so that we can make lasting change for the better. Even that visceral feeling of fear cannot last forever if we keep on. And I guess all we can do is continue trying.

[espanadiarywriter]

The great, unstoppable, heroic American individual. Or not.

I’m going to try to explain why I’m not a horrible person even though I don’t like the 7:00 pm clapping every night for health care workers. It’s not because I think health care workers do not deserve our admiration and are not going through hell in many parts of the country. (Or maybe in all parts of the country because even in the areas not yet hit by a COVID surge, health care delivery is being completely upended.) And I do love the community aspect of coming together with neighbors from a safe distance to cheer something important. So why has the 7:00pm clapping been bothering me? I was really trying to figure it out for a while and then it hit me.

It gives me a sense of powerlessness and futility. The American health care system is arguably one of, if not the, most broken, inefficient, and unequal health care systems among modern, industrialized (wealthy) nations. And coronavirus exposed the rampant disparities and profit-focused, everyone-for-themselves system for what it was. And what are we doing about it? Clapping into the wind, on our front porches, from balconies. This is our answer? Once again, we are asking for individual heroics to solve a systemic problem.  

Health care workers are always one of the most at-risk during a pandemic—in the SARS outbreak, for example, one-fifth of the victims worldwide were health care workers. We should have a system that gets them protective gear. Always. We should have a system that tracked and took seriously the pandemic when there were intelligence briefings about it at high levels in January. We should have health care coverage not based solely on employment and where you live (because only some States considered it important to expand health care access).

Quite frankly, it pisses me off. I don’t want to applaud individuals on the front lines because I don’t want to JUST applaud individuals on front lines. I want to make it so the front lines are safer. I want to acknowledge that a nurse working 12-hour shifts is limited in what she or he can do (and even limited in whether she can speak up when she has inadequate PPE or sees safety risks). She or he shouldn’t have to be heroic to do their day job.

We shouldn’t have African Americans and Navaho nations succumbing to a disease at X times the rates of White Americans because they have been systematically denied quality health care for their whole lives, and for generations before today. Hell, I’ve read articles about even at a hospital level, some hospitals have huge high-profile donations in Manhattan, while others in the Bronx are barely gasping for air. Your hospital shouldn’t need a celebrity PPE drive to be able to protect your employees.

Arguably nurses and doctors and medical staff in ICUs, hospitals, care facilities are heroic every day because they have been on the front lines of this broken, inadequate system their whole careers. Nurses and doctors deserve more than clapping into thin air. They deserve action, policies, and justice.

Besides the intractable complicated systemic challenges, everyone one of us can practice personal responsibility. Our front line workers deserve Americans being responsible for other people’s health instead of only caring about their own damn selves. This myth of individual freedom being greater than all communal good is FATAL. Last week, there were Covid-parties to spread the disease among young people. I’m going to say that again. Authorities in Washington State broke up a party specifically held to expose people to someone with Covid. Those people hadn’t even considered passing the disease along to someone more vulnerable—they just wanted immunity for themselves. What rock are you living under? WHY do you think governments across the world are tanking the economy? For fun? NEWS FLASH: It’s to save the lives of the most vulnerable among us in society.

So yeah, I guess I don’t really feel like clapping these days. Even for the heroes. Health care workers still serve people who might vote against better health care, stand in grocery stores without a mask because it’s too inconvenient to wear one, or have a Covid party. Those health care providers are still going to treat you when you come in and need a ventilator. Because maybe you were one of the people who lives in a food desert and must travel far to get healthy food. Or can barely make rent and has to keep stocking grocery shelves. I do not want to imply that everyone who gets sick is irresponsible! That feeds the exact same self-defeating myth of the great, AMERICAN INDIVIDUAL who can surpass all the inequitable systems, systematic racism, and structural problems.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know why all these pandemic problems aren’t solved yet. I have clearly solved them during all my thinking between 3 and 5 am every night. Also, I have devised a way to keep all the puzzle pieces on the too-small puzzle table and remembered I need to clip the cat’s claws. I am very productive in the middle of the night these days. But I digress. One of the reasons we returned from Spain was to make a difference here rather than avoiding the US (and also because our kid was sad, but that’s not relevant to this blog).

So, what to do? Here are 7 things to DO after you clap. If you want to suggest other great organizations working on these issues, please put them in my Tumblr or Facebook comments. Or DM them to me. 

1. Tell congress to increase protective equipment for nurses, now. According to the American Nurses Association, some nurses are being forced to reuse masks or other PPE in their facilities – creating unsafe conditions for both nurses and their patients. Call or write your Representatives and Senators and demand they #ProtectNurses.

2. Feed the nurses! Call a local nurses unit to arrange for a take-out delivery. This will require research and coordination—be sure to work directly with a medical office or nursing unit manager to arrange this. Or if you are in an area that is not hit very hard, check out this organization that is feeding nurses in New York City: https://www.feedthefrontlinesnyc.org/ or Google other organizations across the country doing this.

3. Feed other vulnerable communities. You can help #chefsforamerica safely distribute individual packaged meals to vulnerable communities affected by the Covid-19 shut down. The World Central Kitchen is providing needed work for restaurants while feeding people in need across the United States: https://wck.org/chefsforamerica

4. Tell the health care systems, hospitals, organizations and nursing homes in your area that you care about the safety of medical workers and patient caregivers. Send one of the following articles to your local large health care systems with a letter that you care about them helping their employees. They even argue my point “Organizations need not and should not outsource gratitude entirely to the public. This process starts with leadership”: 1. https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/public-health/caring-our-caregivers-during-covid-19 2. https://www.contagionlive.com/news/how-organizations-can-support-health-care-workers-during-coronavirus

5. Make sure your local police responses to social distancing laws and opening the States are EQUITABLE. See this NY Times article about the NYC enforcement for example: Scrutiny of Social-Distance Policing as 35 of 40 Arrested Are Black   Hold your local police office accountable.

6. Volunteer with a Get out the Vote campaign for the national elections. This can be a small amount of your time. If you are an extrovert, volunteer to text or call people to remind them to vote. If you are in introvert (like me) find a post card or letter writing campaign (https://www.mobilize.us/swingleft/ or https://postcardstovoters.org/volunteer/) . Or look at the list of candidates in  Flippable and donate to some key races for Senate. Even small amounts make a difference.

7. Check in with your friends. Especially your friends who are teaching, or have small children, or anxious kids, or are older and isolated. Ask if they need a delivery of food, help with childcare (if you are able and they are comfortable), a coffee break shared from 6-feet away. We need these things too.

[symbiodyke]

forgot to post abt this when it happened but venting abt work reminded me of this story......

back in early february when covid cases were REAL intense I caused a huge incident at work and never got caught.

I'd just been off work for a week bc I and my immunocompromised partner had been exposed to covid. I was feeling real frustrated with people's unsafe behavior.

there was a new flyer on the work fridge telling everybody to come to the local roller rink for free skate night. there's a bar/food inside the place so masking was dubious.

I wrote in tiny ballpoint pen in the corner of this flyer.

"there's a pandemic. have you heard?"

I knew it wasn't any sort of epic own or whatever but I was annoyed by the poster and figured nobody would give a shit. figured it'd just get crossed out and life would go on.

BOY WAS I WRONG.

an hour later, the coworker who made it (she used the desk next to mine) started to flip. her. shit.

she started BAWLING her fucking eyes out and hyperventilating, blubbering about how stupid and cruel the person who VANDALIZED her poster is and how they MUST be some sort of sociopath (🙄) etc etc etc

it got to the point where like two managers were consoling her and helping her make a new poster for like 45 minutes.

one of them bought her flowers and chocolate with company money. various coworkers came over to give her hugs and encouragement. many declared they were gonna get EVERYONE to go to free skate night and go out for drinks to cheer her up.

she literally got to go home with an excused absence 3 hours into her shift AT A GROCERY STORE all because I wrote on the corner of her plaguerat magnet poster. we'd literally had 2 active cases in the store that past week.

for the next couple weeks, people wouldn't stop talking about it.

said that the person who wrote it should be fired.

blamed any minor bad happening in the store on whoever wrote on ******'s poster.

said that they didn't feel safe at work anymore if people could just HARASS each other with NO PUNISHMENT!!1!1!!!

my favorite part of this fiasco though?

the new poster said "yes, we are aware of the pandemic. they check vax cards and we wear masks. MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS TOO!!!"

yet almost every roller rink picture I'd seen of my coworkers on social media had nary a mask in sight! including the candids/skating pics! how curious :)

[mikialynn]

2020 Reflection

I haven’t been great about completing my reflections the past couple of years. Parts of them do exist, and I will create finished versions. However, 2020 is a year that I absolutely cannot miss reflecting on. Especially since it seems at any moment these days, something significant and perspective-altering can just happen. So I want to preserve where I am right at this moment.

At a historical level, on a global scale, 2020 has been the most important year I have ever lived through. The events of the past year have been on a scale that is so immense, I feel like I can’t even connect with them most of the time. But then there are flashes where it hits – where I have a digestible bit of life experience that taps me into the larger emotional current. And it overwhelms and terrifies me just long enough to push it away again.

We are approaching two million deaths in the world, with thousands dying every day. California has ordered dozens of refrigerated trucks just to hold the overflow of dead bodies. I have for the first in my life experienced truly believing that my parents might die within the year. I’ve had to sit through several instances where the chances of them being exposed were high and just hold my breath waiting for the events to unfold. It reminded me a bit of that stomach-dropping moment I realized I could have contracted rabies, and that it was a fatal situation if left untreated. Only this wasn’t for myself, this was for people I love, and for a virus that had no vaccine or guaranteed treatment, and so it came with added layers of helplessness, fear, and frustration.

We have an unbridled President stoking division in the country for a power-grabbing, personal-gain agenda that is unprecedented. It’s a reality you can’t help but shake your head to in disbelief thinking this just can’t exist in this day and age in this country. And yet there it is. Confederate flags in the Capitol. The inflammatory speeches. The unchecked, unabashed lies. The shockingly amoral willingness to appeal to people with such twisted, racist, fearful views of people and the world. The childish recklessness of undermining a democracy just to deflect and rationalize a loss.

We had the Black Lives Matter protests erupt across the nation. Unlike the Women’s Rights or Climate Change marches I’ve participated in before that are organized well in advance and have a designated time, these were often spontaneous protests sparked by a real personal and immediate anger and frustration. Protests that continued for months. Protests that, though mostly peaceful, sometimes did shut down cities and burn down buildings. And we saw an aggressive and often unjustifiable containment of those protests that is also unprecedented in my lifetime. For the first time, I’ve experienced city curfews and lock downs.

Just walking down the street, the evidence of how the world has changed is everywhere. People casually walking around in masks (at least in San Francisco, though clearly this varies by city, county, and state) that at this point have developed their own fashion of patterns and styles. People veer away to give each other a wide berth, even stepping off of the sidewalk into the road to avoid getting close. And none of that is considered rude. Busy streets are seen sectioned off for pedestrian use. Streets with restaurants are now lined with a collection of makeshift outdoor seating—the prototypical wooden walls and strung up garden lights. There are circles sprayed onto parks so people sit in their designated bubbles six feet apart. Shops are boarded up, either because the store went under or as a temporary fix to the break ins that happened during the protests. Markers are on the ground outside of grocery stores to indicate where to stand in line to be six feet apart. Plexiglass erected between yourself and the cashier. Hand sanitizers in every backpack and car, at the opening to every shop. Masks tucked into pockets and purses and car doors. The routine of disinfecting groceries. It all seems so normal now.

Despite so much erupting on the global stage, in that poetic contradictory fashion, I feel like in my personal bubble 2020 has been defined by how little has happened. With the exception of 2018, which I spent moving to San Francisco and living on the West Coast for the first time, 2020 is the first year since I was 17 years old that I haven’t traveled abroad. It is a year truly characterized by being stagnant and still.

The significance of traveling for me stems from a few places. The notion of how quickly time is used up and how limited our supply of it is has always been a fundamental motivator for me in how I approach life. It’s what drives me to learn and try and explore. How else should one spend a life if not trying to fit as many different experiences and gain as much perspective as one possibly can? To that end, I think being a good person is correlated to being exposed to as many types of people, places, and life experiences as possible. To me, traveling feels like connecting myself to the larger fabric of humanity and improving myself as a person. Travelling also helps me to keep perspective. One of my greatest fears is complacency. Getting into a routine that doesn’t really move or fulfill you but allows you to get by, and thinking that is enough while your life disappears. I feel like we have to be vigilant about reminding ourselves how valuable life is and how much we can do with our time as long as we keep pushing. Travelling to new places really gives me that reset and renewed energy. So, when I emphasize how 2020 was the first year I didn’t travel, what I’m really highlighting is how a major source of what fuels me and gives me a sense of value was missing. With everything horrible going on in the world, not having that safety net to pull me back and keep me mentally healthy enabled a sort of listlessness I hadn’t experienced before.    

I also couldn’t do any of my usual music or dance classes. I didn’t get to explore a new city and interact with its communities. Often times, I had to cancel planned camping and hiking trips because new lock down orders would come into place. I remember in 2018 as the year was coming to a close, I had it in my mind that my year-end reflection would be about the importance of being aimless. It was my year of having no plan, having no serious commitments, and just letting myself inhabit new versions of myself. I felt experimental, a little reckless, and free. The year 2020 is in such stark contrast.    

Here are some notable sad memories from 2020. My grandfather passed away. I was supposed to fly back for his funeral in March, but Covid-19 began hitting the U.S. in a noticeable way just before that trip. I remember just the week before, I had flown to visit my friend Barb in Vegas. I remember feeling the situation escalate as that trip unfolded – from Barb telling me she was feeling sick and me realizing she could be contagious with Covid, to wearing a mask for a prolonged time for the first time as I traveled through the airport, to ultimately booking an earlier flight home once I got to Las Vegas because I no longer felt it was safe. When I got back, I remember Stewart and I were driving back from work to his place, having just picked up our things to start working from home based on the new company policy (a week before a city order mandated it) and both of us reaching that turning point as we talked in the car. Up until that point, it was if we were slowly realizing the severity of the situation in bits and pieces. On that ride as we talked about how it would be irresponsible and unsafe to travel back to see my family, it escalated to the point of realization: things were not normal anymore. Things were going to change. And they were going to change for a while.

We had already booked and planned this extended trip back to Hawaii. My friend Winnie was going to travel to San Francisco the week after we got back. I had been working hard in preparation of taking the next month to be with friends and family. I’d been looking forward to the summer, when Stewart and I had planned to visit his family on the east coast and attend my college reunion. And then suddenly it was snatched away. I remember crying coming to grips with the immediate loss of those experiences, but also with the heaviness of what was happening around me. And then making the phone call to my parents. At the time, Hawaii was nowhere near the stage of fear and seriousness that we were at in California, and I remember having to convince them that it wasn’t a good idea to come home. I remember the tension of texting and emailing my aunts and uncles and cousins trying to get them to post-pone or scale down grandpa’s funeral to Big Island residents only. Tracking the Covid cases in Hawaii and watching as each day they increased exponentially. I remember my aunt’s comments about not wanting to put hand sanitizer out or have the immediate family seated away from the audience because she didn’t want to make people feel uncomfortable. It was a silly thought then, and has not aged well. Even looking back at the funeral photos where basically no one was wearing masks except my mom and grandma (because I sent them masks) is just unconceivable from this vantage point. But that’s the thing—everyone needed to have that moment of realization. And it came to people at different times for different reasons. And to some people sadly and frustratingly, it never came.

I remember the week following my grandpa’s funeral, my dad called to tell me had accidentally hit Nala with the truck, and that when they took her to the vet they discovered a tumor in her mouth. It was a rapid decline from there, and we put her to sleep soon after. I hadn’t experienced putting a dog to sleep since I was a kid. We also invested so much more individual attention to Nala because she lived during a time when she was the only dog. So losing her was just heartbreaking. And it was heartbreaking imagining my dad feeling any sort of guilt about it, and knowing my parents had to care for her as she declined. It still hurts me to imagine Hoku, our puppy, apparently jumping in the truck looking for Nala after she was put down, trying to track her down by her scent.

I cried a lot during that beginning period of the Covid experience. I was also staying at Stewart’s place in Berkeley, which up until that time I hadn’t spent much time at. So I felt disconnected from things that felt comfortable and normal in multiple ways. I also had an underlying stress about my brother’s wedding during that time, since at that point they were still planning to go through with it in October. Ultimately, they did decide to post-pone the wedding to the following year.

Eventually Stewart and I started taking action to combat the monotony that comes from having your work and social life confined to your home by planning some camping trips. But as fate would have it, once we started doing that, California had a record-breaking year in wildfires. And so we watched as the smoke rolled in, bringing us the worst air quality levels in the world at the time, and turning the sky orange. Never before have I had to constantly monitor air quality to decide if I could go outside or not, or jump in a car to use its filtration system while waiting out a period of particularly bad smoke.

Then, to close off the year, a worker on our farm had an overnight guest that tested positive for Covid, and I had to convince my parents to get tests. I went tense and numb for a week as we awaited the results, which were thankfully all negative. And on the very same day we found out about our worker’s exposure to Covid, I found out in a mix of frantic messages from my sister and friends that a fire had broken out on the farm. No one was hurt, but the container and building that stored many of my siblings belongings (and possibly some of mine that I’m not aware of) including my sister’s wedding dress, our Christmas decorations, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in farm equipment were completely destroyed.

But there were some good things that came from 2020! Motivated by wanting to take advantage of the time I have with my family when everyone is alive and well, I started scheduling weekly Zoom calls, which is the most remote communication my family has ever had. It also pushed me to have dad chip in for a smart phone for my mom’s birthday. We also got them an antenna for the internet, so it is now much easier to be in touch.

Another happenstance of 2020 is that it forced a lot of people to be more domestic. Clearly, given the shortage of flour at grocery stores at the start of the pandemic. It was fun reading my 2016 reflection where I talk about how I’m struggling to see myself as an adult since I still just cook with premade sauces, I have never held a job for more than a year, and my largest investment is my laptop. I can now safely say that I feel like an adult! I have a sourdough starter baby that I regularly make pizza dough and crackers from, and I have helped to put on Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. I’ve been at this job for over 2 and a half years, and my savings have gone from zero to half my income. I often feel like I am the mother of 667 Fell St. Oh, and I also turned 30 this year (which would probably have been a cornerstone of this reflection in a normal year, but is just an afterthought in this one).  

I think another shared experience a portion of society has had is the self-reflection on whether or not we are happy with what we are doing in our lives. With all the social opportunities taken away, everyone fortunate enough to maintain their jobs has had their work be the focal activity of the year. And for those of us dissatisfied with our jobs, the lack of distractions outside of work to sustain us has made it clear that this is not a path to continue down further. The stress of the constant billable time to the 15-minute increment, the energy drain of the monotonous work, the emptiness of feeling like your life and time and potential is being wasted on work that has no meaning. It’s not enough to sustain me. While this isn’t blatantly a positive thought, I think it’s a clarity that will lead to a positive outcome in the long run. I don’t have the time and energy to do the things I enjoy with my current job, and I don’t have an interest in building on the skills this job requires. I want to support communities and people more directly, and I want to have creativity and writing play a larger role in the work I do. Where to go from here, I’m not sure, but I don’t want to waste another year not pursuing those opportunities.

Similarly, I can say that I have shared what has been a difficult but important life experience with my partner this year. And, despite both of us sharing the same living space and working at the same job together—which amounts to spending almost 24/7 together—we are still doing well. We aren’t in the happiest place given all that’s going on in the world and dissatisfaction with our jobs. But I’ve seen that we can share in difficult times together and still find ways to maintain a sense of fun and love. I certainly did not plan on living with a partner less than one year into a relationship, but the times have pushed us to accelerate things and we stayed strong through it. It was fun getting to know Berkeley—the neighborhoods and the trails. Stewart and I also shared in coastal foraging and fishing excursions, squeezed in a beautiful backpacking trip to Kennedy Lake (where Stewart even carried my backpack for me when I had some sort of elevation sickness), went on a roadtrip through Nevada, Utah, and Arizona to visit Barb and David, and even bought a boat and went boat-in camping at Tomales Bay. While I didn’t add new countries to the list of places I’ve been, I did manage to add national parks and forests like Stanislaus, Arches, Zion, and Death Valley.

Other perks of the year have been not having to waste time commuting to work, and therefore spending most of the year not having to wake up to an alarm. It was also nice sharing this bonding experience with my roommates, who I’m very grateful to have found in 2019. I also joined in the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion group at WRA and was able to be a judge for a middle school science competition, which brought me a lot of joy and inspiration to find similar work to do full time. Lastly, Biden thankfully won the presidential election. It was as if I had been holding my breath for four years and finally, when it seemed like even a contested result wouldn’t undo the margin that Biden had won by, all that tension came pouring out. Stewart and I pulled over in the car on our way to do some fishing as the results flashed on our phones and celebrated. I can’t imagine how hopeless it would have felt stepping into 2021 knowing we had another four years of the Trump administration.

I also want to note some things I meant to do but didn’t (and to say that it’s okay that I didn’t do them, because 2020 was not an easy year, and we all had to learn to be patient with ourselves throughout it). I’d stopped taking vocal classes with the intention of doing dance classes, but then never did because of Covid (the disclaimer, I’m currently signed up for a month-long class this January). Stewart bought me a keyboard, but I barely played it. I planned on quitting my job but, albeit for reasonable concerns about the economy and job market, never left it. There was video footage that I never edited and interview ideas that I didn’t get around to doing. I didn’t start building a communications body of work. I was never able to maintain good exercise habits. I didn’t finish and post my 2018 and 2019 reflections.

But you see, what I’ve realized is that when you’re not happy, it’s hard to do all the things you want to. I’m grateful that I even had a job, I’m grateful I genuinely like the people I was quarantined with, and I’m grateful for the money I was able to save during this past year. But it was a hard year and an unsatisfying year professionally. My hope for the coming year is that the clarity gained in what type of job I don’t want, and the financial buffer I now have, will allow me to transition to something more sustainable in the coming year. Something more fulfilling and more enjoyable. It’s the big ask, I know, to find a job that you also love. But I’m narrowed in on environmental communications or education, and I think one of the two will pan out.  

So I’m going to continue to be patient and forgiving with myself in these trying times, but hopefully this past year will be a year I can always draw from. When I’m making an excuse to call my mom later, that I remember how scared I was when she got on the plane to the Big Island and thought she truly might be taken away from me, and then decide to call. When I’m choosing jobs, that I remember how the way you feel about the work you do seeps into all other aspects of your life, and that I choose passion over stability. I hope 2020 will always serve to remind me to be grateful.  

[acrossthemar]

Covid Updates - July 2020

It’s been a while, but I wanted to check in here to document. In March, April, and even May, everyone was constantly checking in with each other. “How are you dealing with everything” “I hope you are staying safe and doing okay” “Don’t be so hard on yourself at work, this isn’t just work from home it’s work from home during a pandemic”. Well now, it’s July 11th, and well this is just life now. We start our emails with the same old “I hope you are doing well”, working from home feels normal, in fact I am having a hard time remembering waking up and commuting to work every morning. This just kinda is life right now, and we’re in a new state of normal. I think it’s a good and a bad thing. Good because we’ve adjusted, and we can finally talk about things other than the pandemic all the damn time. But bad because by accepting this as normal, we’re no longer giving ourself space to “grieve” our losses and our old life. Of course we are very privileged to have a comfortable home and be employed during this time, but it is still a difficult and emotionally challenging period of life. 

The Black Lives Matter protests are still going, six weeks later, and it’s really amazing. This is a movement like none that we have lived through. I really hope that the conversations sustain and that it helps us get 45 out of office. Biden should be announcing his VP soon, and it will be interesting to see who he chooses. While of course I will do everything in my power to help him get elected, I’m feeling a bit “blah” about Biden, and I’m hoping that a strong VP pick will strengthen his campaign and reinvigorate his voters. It’s more important than ever to challenge the status quo and to push our country (both individual people and companies and policies) to embrace anti-racism.

I got promoted at work! I’m now the Supervisor of Customer Success, managing a team of 10 CSMs (actual title Education Impact Consultant, EIC, but it’s really just a Client Success Manager). I haven’t met the majority of my team due to COVID, which is really interesting. Eric is still waiting to hear if his students will come back to campus, which will be very interesting. I should mention that the New York COVID numbers are WAY down, which is great, but almost everywhere else in the country COVID is rapidly spreading and we’re hitting new highs for daily COVID case numbers every day. Still, it could change very quickly, and if Eric is going to be teaching in person, our risk level goes way up. Will I have to stop seeing my mom? I don’t even know! Texas, Arizona, South Carolina, and Florida are absolute MESSES. People are dumb. America is doing so much worse than other countries, it is embarrassing. It feels nice to no longer be in the hot spot. I think around 25% of New Yorkers had COVID at some point or another. 

As far as other COVID updates, we’re no longer wiping down our groceries. There really is not much evidence on anything still, but it seems less likely to get COVID via touch, especially if we’re not touching our faces and washing our hands. Masks are required everywhere, and luckily in NY almost everyone is very respectful about masks. I still can’t believe the CDC initially recommended that no one wear masks, as it now seems to be the best thing you can do, we could have prevented quite a lot of cases. The grocery store lines have died down, people are far more into a shopping routine. We are in phase 3, so there is outdoor dining and most stores are open. Some restaurants are doing a great job spacing their tables 6 feet apart, while others are hardly spacing tables and it just looks like normal life. More and more evidence suggests that COVID particles can stay in the air, and so indoor spaces are really unsafe. They just opened indoor dining in Westchester, which I think is really dumb, as restaurants and bars have been linked to COVID spikes in other parts of the country. I understand we need to boost the economy, but since it’s summer I feel like we should just stick with outdoor dining for now. We haven’t gone to an outdoor restaurant yet, but we’d like to soon! Well we did go to Ellington in the Park in NYC for a drink and calamari after my dress fitting, and it was the best calamari I’ve ever had in my life, probably because it was the first greasy yummy restaurant food we’ve had since February! 

Speaking of dress fitting, I should mention that we’ve decided to still get legally married on our original wedding date 7/25/20. We had been thinking about it for a while and decided to move forward with the plan. There are so many logistical difficulties due to COVID, but we feel ready to get married. Traditions are out the window and this is an unprecedented time, and so we will make the best of what we can do. My mom will be my only family member there which is hard for me. We invited Kristin but she is not comfortable coming. I decided to wear my actual wedding dress, because I’m nervous we won’t even get to have our 2021 wedding (no end in sight still) and I would be so sad if I never got to wear it! We hired our photographer for two hours, will do a first look, a short 10 minute legal ceremony with our rabbi, still exchange vows, and then have a dinner in Eric’s parents backyard. We never cancelled our mini moon, so we’ll be going to cape cod the next day still.

There is currently a very big range in how people are handling COVID. Some are still very fearful, while others are seemingly going back to normal life, vacationing with friends, going out to eat with friends, etc. We are still on the more cautious side, but not the super fearful side. We haven’t been inside with anyone other than each other and my mom without a mask this entire pandemic. We’ve gone shopping, which is a step, and we are open to outdoor dining with just us at a table, but we aren’t yet ready for less than 6 feet with others. Throughout the entire pandemic we’ve done lots of walks with friends and outdoor spaced drinks with friends. We also took a lovely trip to a house rental in Stonington Connecticut with Elise and Connor. We all agreed to quarantine before the trip and it was so nice. Actually, I forgot to mention that Kevin’s family stopped by NY on their way to Nantucket and we did let them in my mom’s house. 

An interesting thing to point out about the pandemic is that everyone is a bit hypocritical and has bias in what they are and are not comfortable with. There is lots of close friends and family bias, thinking that it’s safe to see your family but a stranger is not safe, even though the risk level shouldn’t be that different. And then everyone has their things that they’re scared of, but then other things that they’re comfortable with, and we just have to all try not to be too judgy and to accept that everyone is in different places and head spaces. 

As for the wedding, I’d like to get my hair, make up, and nails done, but all of those are COVID risks, so we’re still figuring that out. 

People ask me and Eric all the time if we feel “stuck” living together and if we’re sick of each other yet. I guess we must have a really strong relationship because we haven’t felt stuck at all, we are just so immensely grateful to have each other (in general but especially during this time). Winnie is also still an absolute angel and we are so in love with her. She turned one! 

[wendylewis-blog]

05.01.2020 /The Weekend

I feel more animal. I sleep when it’s dark and get up with daylight. I forage my house for food when I’m hungry and often, let myself feel that hunger without satiating it. I’m more acutely aware of what’s around me—wandering the woods, walking the river, sitting in the dry prairie grasses. The wind, pollen scattering from the trees, birdsong, chattering squirrels, elegant deer and awkward turkeys. Hoards of gnats swarm in tiny tornados near the water—I wonder if they hold a consciousness about their purpose here. I wonder if I do. 

I talk to people much less than I did in the beginning. Everything has been said too many times over. Exhausting and erosive. It’s becoming more personal now; taking each other’s spiritual temperature, reconnecting with some ppl I’ve lost over time, like a woman in NYC and another in San Franciso, both with new babies. Sometimes, we’re cynical, sometimes laughing, sometimes weeping. I’m quieter than ever and if you know me, I’m not prone to silence. It feels like getting to know a part of myself less explored. Not a bad thing. Listening more, talking less. 

This morning’s soundtrack. 

There is rain moving in. I’m sitting in my dining room facing the south side of the yard watching the sturdiness of trees against a grey backdrop. They wave their branches a little. I’ve looked at these trees out this window for twenty-two years. They give me a false sense of permanence but unless virulent summer weather takes them down some time, I will lean into that ruse. 

It’s the first day of May. My oldest daughter Hannah will turn 34 in a week. She and her husband Geoffrey and g-bb Ezra came down to our house last Saturday. I hugged them both with a bedsheet between us. I had so many conflicting feelings seeing them after almost two months and keeping prescribed distance for the afternoon—the full range existing between joy and grief. I suffered an emotional hangover the next day. It’s so hard to explain. It’s surreal to watch them from across the yard while the dogs romp together and not get gob-smacked about this new reality we are saddled up into—how this contagion (and the ones that will surely follow) will distort/contort, forever changing our intimacies. I’ll have to think more about this. 

We have always been such a tactile family and this is taking time to get used to and it’s only just begun. I’m gonna give myself all the time necessary to acclimate. It was so incredible to see them after so long, if bittersweet. 

I had similar feelings when daughter Kitty and her roommate Anna came down the following Monday to gather kindling, take a walk and stay for dinner. I spent a couple hours prior to their arrival instigating a yearly ritual—opening the porch! We put all the leaves in the table to properly distance ourselves. I thought about how to share the food. I ladled the soup into the sitting bowls, split the French bread loaf in half and wrapped separately, gave them their own dish of salt and plate of butter. We made mistakes—shared the pepper grinder and all touched the tubs of yogurt and sour cream. Ohhh well—we washed our hands afterwards. We also talked and laughed our asses off until dark. When they were leaving, Kitty and I looked at each other and suddenly hugged without the sheet, turning our faces away, not breathing. The next morning I woke up and had a moment of subdued panic until I remembered that every time I leave my house and go to the grocery store, it’s a risk. 

These are the inescapable truths we are all being forced to reckon with in one way or another. In that moment, the gain was well worth the risk. I am gonna get more used to this eventually and do my best taming the wild range of emotional geography to something less painful and more often flushed with gratefulness that we are all alive and love each other. Pull it together, Lewis! 

I’ve been trying to order seeds on line for weeks. Most of the organic sites were filling commercial orders in lieu of home gardeners’ requests, stalling us until May. Now, most everything is unavailable, especially herbs, which are expensive to buy in the produce section. I guess I have to take a deep breath and roll with it. There’s a lot we all have to roll with. I’m not an avid gardener anyway but I did love how the bush beans grew last year and fed us all summer long, planted in succession. 

I’ve emerged, at least for now, from the hopeless/helpless place I’d been in last week. I decided to curb my drinking habits, which had become something of a crutch a couple weeks ago that collapsed under my own weight and fed my sad monster. I’m going to need all my available faculties to get to the next day and the next one, not fall victim to laziness or inflamed feeling, already tender. So, cutting back. It’s been pretty easy so far. 

Meanwhile, there are important issues to focus my anger and intention towards when it rears up—an endless stream, most recently; Pence not wearing a mask when he visited the Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN, Trump suggesting ultra violate rays and disinfectant injections as a cure and then later saying he was being sarcastic (!**/?!#@%!!?), joining up with Stacy Abrams out of GA and the Fair Fight organization to protect our voting rights and democracy in the upcoming election. I also watched (Michael Moore presents) Planet of the Humans written/directed by Jeff Gibbs. Warning: brutal, informative, a li’l craycray (fact checking review here as ballast). 

Also, watched a Frontline piece on Amazon’s Jeff Bezos. What a supreme, soulless dick! Yikes! I knew, kinda, but have never gone in for the longer story. I know—it would be difficult for some, because—so convenient—but what if we just stopped ordering from that megalomaniac, ceased to fill the pockets of the richest man in the world whose mistreatment of his workers is legendary? He would be the best first place to start reorienting our rote thinking about capitalism. Done with him. 

What if we supported our local stores, local restaurant take-out, local clothing and sundries stores (most sell online now) or shopped directly to companies online instead of going through the infamous Amazon? What if we used this time to begin to unhook from the corporate rank and file consumerism we have all been brainwashed with, and started supporting each other and small businesses? Hearing that Tyson is suffering an enormous rise in workers infected with Covid due to cramped and unsafe working conditions (!!!) what if we supported local co-ops even part of the time? I know they are a little more expensive, but if you go local and not Whole Foods, you’ll do better. I did hear that Farmers Markets may open soon and those offer the most affordable options to Cub or Rainbow. I’ve lived and shopped this way for a long time and never made much money so I’m just sayin’, you actually can afford it. 

Every time we spend our money, we are casting a vote, so this is a good time to explore and support the neighborhood both near us and small companies online instead of supporting the giant corporate machine. They are not helping us as much as they make it appear. Other than Costco (my only big box store), who pay their workers a living wage with good benefits and safe work environments (in addition to offering remarkable dry goods, produce, meats and cheeses, the rest are forever off my list. They offer so many organic options and I save so much $$ there. I admit, it’s not much fun to go there—especially right now in terms of exposure—but when I’m out of paper towels and coffee or need a bag of lemons for $6 and organic ground beef, they are my go-to. 

This week’s movie recommendations. Kitty brought The Midnight Gospel, an animated, spirited, crazy, philosophical ride on the human condition from the makers of Adventure Time. You don’t have to be a Dylan fan to enjoy No Direction Home, a documentary that centers on Dylan’s trajectory (copious interview time with him and others around him) from late 50′s-70′s and beyond. If that’s not your cup of tea, check out Ricky Gervais’ AfterLife in which he deals with the fallout of grieving his beloved wife in that sweet/irreverent way he is known for—the second season now available. Also, Devs (recommended by Al Church) is really good, but if you can’t do violence, steer clear. All of these are streaming on Netflix. 

Last post, I was thinking hard about employing more acceptance and open-mindedness. I’m still there and working on it as I wrestle my uncaged  sometimes savage emotions. I check in on many of you via our only source of communication and it seems we are all on the same rollercoaster. It’s a rough ride—hang on and, when you’re fed up or feel brave or are awash in a weird kind of joy, raise your hands off the bar and into the air. 

While we may be isolated, we are not alone. 

Lovelove. 

[allbestnet]

1187 Ideas

1) A Wikipedia for WW2 testimonials 2) A way for software developers to donate their time to charity 3) A place for rich people to send their kids so they get humbled before they go to college 4) an actual business that you pay to go into and beat the crap out of stuff like old cars 5) Twitter, except it's anonymous, and you can share all you secrets 6) A website that you subscribe to and it sends you a personalized motivational text every morning 7) You know those photo frames that are digital? Instead of photos they can display motivational photos or quotes. 8) A website like linkedin, except a company pays you to work for them for two weeks with the option of extending to full-time. 9) An alarm clock that calls your ex if you don't get up. Or picks a random photo in your phone and sends it to your parents. 10) An aquarium desktop background. But seriously nowadays we can do better. We can improve it to make it awesome again! 11) Coffee shop where they bring the coffee and pastries to your table. No tips required 12) A heavy coat with a hawaiian shirt pattern 13) A website where you input what kind of bread you want, like banana pumpkin bread, and they custom make it and ship it to you. Then there's a voting system where the most popular breads get voted to the top and are mass produced. 14) caricatures on demand 15) In-n-out sauce mass produced and sold in grocery stores 16) A coffee shop that's just a window 17) Personal coaching should be more like... utilized 18) Soda that gets you drunk 19) A coffee shop... ON A ROOF! 20) Robot horses for Central Park. 21) An alarm clock that's actually a light that simulates the sunrise. I know they already invented that. 22) A cuff that goes on your arm and vibrates when it's time to wake up. Would be good for people who sleep with ear plugs or don't want to wake other people up. 23) Windows that let air in when they're closed. I have no idea if that could actually work. 24) Handicap parking spots have little chips in them that connect to a chip under a handicap car... if it doesn't detect a chip in the car it gives you a ticket. 25) Plants you can buy and you water them with a special water that makes them turn colors like blue. 26) Chia pet wigs. 27) All cops should have body cams by now 28) Stolen from reddit: water cups that dissolve when in contact with sugar/soda. 29) A website that takes random words from the dictionary then arranges them to make crazy ideas with the click of a button. 30) A sock washer. I always feel like the bottoms of my socks get dirty. I wish I could find a way to make them white again. 31) A cross between James Altucher's iii:am and Lynda (online programming tutorials). 32) Bookstore like workshop cafe. You go in, can read any books you want and pay by the hour. Plus comfy chairs and soothing quiet music in the background. 33) A board game designed specifically for when your power goes out. 34) Wallets made out of the fabric of old couches. Do they need to be waterproof? 35) A combination between a coffee shop and a bookstore. Also steal from that workshop cafe idea I posted earlier. 36) An amusement park that only serves super healthy food. 37) A flag that stays up even when it's not windy. 38) Blinds that are vertical so dust doesn't collect on them. 39) A VC bank for average people that have good ideas. 40) An airplane company that has live entertainment on the plane. Like Macbeth. 41) Uber for commuting. 42) A robot that walks your dogs. Or even an on demand service that walks your dogs for you. Uber for dogs. Am I doing Uber overkill here? 43) Startup houses that are run by professionals and kept clean and cheap 44) A way of sharing HBO with people that is legal 45) A really cheap service that you can use to send flowers to people. Not like a bouquet, just a single flower. Just to let them know you're thinking of them. 46) Handheld laptop bags. Because when you wear a backpack or a strapped case it makes you sweaty in hot weather. 47) Sleeping mask but for your ears. OKAY, I KNOW EARPLUGS EXIST. But there's gotta be a better way and more comfortable way of keeping the outside quiet when you're trying to sleep. 48) Glasses that act as a flashlight but don't have any glare. So you can read your book in the dark but it doesn't hurt your eyes or irritate/ wake up other people. 49) What ever happened to those ion cleaner weird air fan things? Are the ions still killing me? Do I need to buy one? 50) Crowdfunding for homeless people 51) Uber except they send people to take care of you when you're sick. Okay, that's enough Uber. 52) Headphones that don't actually play music, they just act like ear plugs that you can wear when you're sleeping. 53) A restaurant where you can taste like a little bit of every entree instead of looking at a menu, then pick the one you want to have a full meal of. 54) A fake cover for a PC that makes it look like a mac 55) An app where people walking by your house can be notified about who you are if you feel like socializing and just kind of meet strangers on the fly. It sounds unsafe but some kinks could probably be worked out 56) A whiteboard/chalkboard with no residue. IS IT POSSIBLE? 57) Soles of your shoe that are resistant to sticky substances like gum 58) A way to give your phone charge to your computer and vice versa 59) A service that cleans your shoes. Seriously, how do you clean regular shoes. I don't understand. Do you just throw them in the washer? 60) Okay, okay, the last uber one. An uber app where you can call a car to come and pick up your food and unused supplies, clothing, etc to donate them to charity. 61) A notebook that you write into that immediately digitizes your notes and sends them to your computer. 62) Something that looks like a book but can change depending on what book you program into it. Like those newspapers in Harry Potter. 63) A bar right next to a baseball/football stadium where you can down a bunch of cheap drinks before you go to the game. 64) Nutritional trail mix. Like it has vitamins and minerals in it. And electrolytes. 65) VR headset that stimulates your dreams while you sleep. 66) You know the facebook poke button? A way to do that with your professional contacts if you just want to check in with them. Well, I mean you can already do that by giving them a call or a text but like, maybe something simpler than that. 67) A way to relieve the annoyance of automated robot phone systems. 68) Cough or cold medicine with caffeine in it. 69) Dorms for software developers in San Francisco. Would make living a lot cheaper. And without the meal plans of course. 70) Alternative college that you only go to for two years but is designed to get you a serious grown up job like engineer or doctor etc 71) A communal dishwasher that makes it easier to deal with. 72) Pets for mental health relief. I mean they already made that but like, that counts as an idea. 73) Bubbles you can eat. Like you blow the bubbles, then you can put them in your mouth and they taste good. No calories either. 74) Digital paintings. 75) A kind of residue/resin you can put on wood that's started to splinter. So it will smooth it out without making the wood look crappy. 76) You know how a lot of buildings in the city have shitty ceilings? Like, linoleum for ceilings. 77) Rubber couch 78) Fire alarm that attaches to your clothes. So you can have a fire alarm even in a place that doesn't have it installed. Or maybe for your car. 79) An app that connects to your facebook and lets you anonymously give people feedback. Like, just general feedback. 80) Gag popcorn that looks like it's made out of asbestos. 81) Not really a new idea, but someone should make earmuffs popular again. 82) Neon lights for your car. 83) Sunglasses where you click a button and it blacks them out, so you can take a nap. 84) Manila folders that aren't manila colored! 85) American flag socks. Well, actually american flag anything. 86) A chair that can fit in your backpack. 87) Decorative woven cotton wire covers 88) Leather socks 89) A way to efficiently access your computer through your phone. Like kind of like Teamviewer, except it would be optimized so there would be no issues using a touch screen instead of clicking. 90) Something as small as a credit card that you can stick in your wallet but it charges your phone. Like it just gives you maybe 20% but it's for emergencies and you would always carry it with you. 91) Company recruiting service that lets you spend a whole work day with an employee instead of interviewing etc. 92) Electronic whiteboard 93) Toe covers that protect your toes from getting blisters. 94) A service that you can use to pay people (any people) to answer questions. Like if I wanted to ask what it was like to work at Google, I could pay a Google employee through their website and they would answer any of my questions. 95) Hand sanitizer dispensers in subways 96) Something that you spray on your feet at the end of the day that makes them not smell. 97) A coffee shop that charges a monthly fee and you can stop by whenever to grab coffee. Most likely it would be on an honor system where you would only go a max of two times per day. God knows how many times some people would go to get unlimited coffee. 98) A service like thinkful or hack hands where engineers give advice to amateur engineers. Except this service would be like hack hands except for foreign language students to ask questions of native speakers or language teachers. 99) Eraseable sharpie 100) An app that grabs every contact from every social network and compiles them into like a universal contact book. Because right now in the apple contact app you have to like manually put everything in. Even if you integrate facebook sometimes it can make it all messed up and ugly. 101) Cup holders made of sandpaper 102) Skin colored tiny band aids that you put on your face to stop yourself from picking zits 103) Cologne that doubles as a bug repellant 104) Eye contacts that have instagram filters 105) Shirts that change color depending on the temperature 106) Shirts that change color when they get wet. Maybe not great if you're sweating. Or maybe awesome? 107) Holographic home decorations so you don't have to buy a ton of shit from Crate & Barrel or Pier Imports or whatever 108) Headphones that are inside a beanie 109) Gloves that make your hands stick to a wall and you can climb them like a spider. Defective ones would probably make people die though... 110) Vertical ironing board 111) Coffee pills that you put in regular water and it magically turns to coffee that doesn't taste like dirt 112) Upside down showers 113) Shoes that you put on and they automagically massage your feet. 114) A site where you put in your desired salary and your employer puts in their desired salary for you and the site does the negotiating for you! 115) Apple should make computers with different fruits on them. 116) A backpack that goes on your front. A frontpack. I guess they already do that though for tourists in countries where people like to steal stuff out of your backpack. 117) Bring fanny packs back! 118) Flexible water bottles. Like made out of... rubber or something. So they don't make a lot of noise 119) Pumpkins that you can carve but they don't rot. GMO?? 120) Soundproof bathrooms 121) A visual representation of a github repo over time 122) Mosquito repellant cologne. Wait, did I already do that? Oops. Still counts this time. 123) Mosquito repellant breath mints 124) Detergent gel 125) Chairs that recline so you can lay down 126) A device that lets you lie down in supine position and still type on your computer or read a book or whatever 127) An iphone case that holds gum 128) Liquid nitrogen for mosquito bites to make them not itch. Not sure if that's dangerous. Lots of dangerous ideas today. 129) Sharpie that you can spray 130) Refrigerator stickers for your car 131) Reusable tissues 132) Solar panels for the moon 133) Underwater solar panels in the ocean 134) CSI video game 135) IRC app for iphone/android 136) modern version of usenet 137) chapstick for your elbows 138) automatic head scratcher machine 139) a better way of washing clothes than washing machine and dryer. like a steamer or something 140) sunglasses with shutter lenses 141) anti acid reflux soda 142) garbage collecting drones 143) garbage collecting rc cars 144) rc cars that adults can ride on. remember those hummers they made for kids? 145) A clock with like six hands that has three different time zones 146) bean bags literally filled with beans 147) one of those sleeping cds filled with passing car sounds at night 148) A way to transfer charge between your phone and your laptop 149) A book that has two books, like on every left page is one book and every right page is the other 150) soylent that doesnt taste like crushed oatmeal shake 151) keyboards that are shaped to fit in your lap 152) headphones that are made of rubber 153) a personal blog directory that you can easily browse through 154) blockbuster for books. IT IS DIFFERENT FROM A LIBRARY in that they carry the most recent and popular titles, and that is why you pay to rent them out. or unlimited for a monthly fee like netflix 155) a less acidic version of coffee. like odulles for coffee. 156) an app that you give your location, then it matches you with the nearest, cheapest, highest quality doctor for your specific case. it takes the hassle out of scheduling doctor appointments, especially in new cities etc 157) khan academy for art 158) computer monitors that look like the kindle screens 159) electronic whiteboards 160) cigs/cigars that make colorful smoke. Probably could also work for e-cigs 161) an automatic machine that thinks of ideas for you 162) cruise ships for people that are almost dead 163) i hate zits 164) Furniture rental 165) electric mop 166) biking shoes that light up 167) powdered sugar lollipops 168) sweatshirt for your legs 169) shoes that float 170) subways should have hand sanitizer dispensers 171) blogging website where you dictate your blog post and it will convert it to text for you 172) caffeine injections 173) mouses for tablets - I think the correct word is mice, the electronic ones 174) wood shoes 175) back pocket on your sweatshirt that holds a laptop like a kangaroo pouch 176) aluminum shirts 177) a sound monitor for your house that lets you know if someone broke in 178) concerts on twitch.tv 179) flip flops with covers just so you don't get the wind chill on your toes. like slippers but they can be taken seriously 180) pets for your pets 181) some pill that reduces the effect of caffeine 182) slippers that vibrate and heat up 183) socks that change color depending on the temperature 184) airbnb except the host also gives you a tour around their city. would prob cost a lot more 185) sheets that stick to your clothes so they never come off at night 186) pillows that clean themselves 187) doors not made of wood 188) sweatshirts that have optional gloves. like theyre attached but theres a way of hiding them if you don't want to wear them 189) keyboards made of wood 190) wireless earbuds for when you run 191) Backpack that has an umbrella attached to the top so it protects you from the sun and rain 192) gum that is made to be swallowed 193) Clothes dyeing service or better yet, a free service by fashion students to spice up your old clothes 194) ipads with screens that you can write on with expo markers 195) transparent shoes 196) hollow lightbulbs 197) gum that doesn't stick to stuff so students can't stick it under their desk or on the bus 198) books sold with a pair of ear plugs 199) shoes that double as vacuum cleaners. or swiffers 200) jeans with built in suspenders that go under your shirt 201) robot cats 202) a real pumpkin filled with the ingredients you need to make pumpkin pie 203) fruity coffee 204) chocolate covered coffee beans 205) coffee covered chocolate beans 206) glove dispensers on the muni 207) inside out bagels 208) knife except the end is blunt so you can't stab anyone with it 209) uber for laundry 210) coffee based on alcoholic drinks 211) vacuum sealed fruits 212) rubber wrist watch 213) keyboards made of the lava lamp stuff 214) tie dye shoes 215) tie dye hats 216) subway sandwiches that look like a subway car 217) books that stay open 218) built in stand in laptop 219) rolling beanbag 220) edible fake money 221) flavored musical instruments 222) a clothing store where you pay a monthly fee and you can wear whatever they have 223) mesh socks 224) mesh beanie. wait, isn't that a hairnet? 225) roll on cologne 226) a running shoe/dress shoe hybrid 227) shoes coated in teflon 228) luggage that has that hole thing in it that you attach your vacuum to and it vacuum seals it 229) earbuds covered in velvet 230) water guns that shoot glow in the dark water 231) pumpkin pie that is shaped like a pumpkin 232) beard shampoo 233) sweatpants that hide your sweat like dri fit 234) running shoes for adults that light up. would be esp good for night running 235) exercise classes specifically for programmers 236) a refrigerator backpack 237) a bandaid designed specifically for paper cuts to make them hurt less 238) a website where you make a post about yourself and other people decide what the best career for you is 239) a website where you can web chat with a lawyer for a flat rate 240) colorful cola 241) sweatshirts with hoodies that have headphones in them. but you can remove them when you need to wash them 242) spandex sweatshirts 243) inflatable shoes 244) backpacks that have built in phone chargers 245) cough syrup except it's not for a cough its for a headache. so headache syrup 246) an online record player 247) virtual reality basketball 248) chairs that you can sit sideways in 249) robot that automatically cuts your hair 250) something safer than q tips for cleaning ears 251) insider guides for tourists to feel like a native 252) mental hospitals designed specifically for homeless people 253) carpet for ceilings and walls 254) 10c surcharge for disposable cups at starbucks 255) an app that shows where the homeless people are in san francisco 256) an app that shows in real time where the densest traffic is in the city 257) speakers in shoes 258) jeans that are khaki colored 259) gum that biodegrades quickly 260) glass coffee cups 261) an app that translates a TOS (terms of service) into plain english 262) A vodka or champagne bottle that looks like a fire extinguisher 263) headphones inside a bicycle or motorcycle helmet 264) biodegradable diapers 265) shoes with gold bottoms 266) polyester socks 267) automatic hair braider machine 268) automatic condom making machine 269) digital whistle 270) rubber headphone covers so they don't fall out of your ears 271) cronuts that don't taste like shit 272) fetty wap voice modulizer app 273) books made out of edible paper 274) water cups that have fake holes in them 275) jeans that have a bunch of jeans on them. like a decorative pattern so they're like jean jeans 276) jeans that say billy. billy jeans 277) coffee popsicles 278) walnut milk 279) coconut pizza 280) stickers that you put on your nails instead of nail polish 281) Portable microwave 282) Illegal immigrants are granted citizenship after working and paying taxes for a period of time 283) Camera in your shoe 284) Digital paintings 285) Shirts that have paintings on them by freelance artists. Like a site sells them from different artists for a reasonable price. 286) Flying trash can drones 287) A service that comes to your house for like $5 and gets rid of all the things you don't want 288) Uber for cleaning ladies 289) Painting on a large flat rock that you can put on your wall 290) A watch made out of glass. Or something that looks similar to glass but doesn't break as easily. 291) an app called payback where you pay people to get your revenge. like, in a civil way 292) James brown soundboard or voicemail message generator 293) tripod for your phone 294) remote karate lessons via webcam 295) a millisecond timer 296) a reverse doorknob 297) you know those things that you crack and they warm up? use that stuff to warm your food 298) hair gel for places other than your head 299) an app that delivers a party to you! 300) online flannel shirt generator 301) rimshot app or a website where you click a button to make a rimshot 302) an app where you say a catchphrase and it tells you where its from 303) instead of those mug huggers that keep you from burning your hand on your coffee use a recycled sock 304) an app that plays ocean sounds until it detects you've gone to sleep then it turns off your phone 305) hot iced tea 306) snapple made out of apples 307) hollowed out fruits as drink cups 308) edible plates 309) edible napkins 310) vegetable cookies 311) send a letter to someone famous and ask their advice 312) pizza with the toppings under the cheese 313) pizza with toppings in the crust 314) post-its that are sticky on both sides 315) airbnb for office space 316) sweatshirts that zip up on the back 317) shoes that you zip instead of tie 318) bubble gum flavored mints 319) aa batteries that you can plug in 320) flip flops made of recycled shoes 321) carbonated water infused with fruit juice 322) edible post it notes 323) service that intentionally paints your car like a taxi 324) cardboard clothes for homeless people (cardboard couture?) 325) candles that smell like good food 326) food that smells like candles 327) coffee slurpee 328) shoes made out of recycled corn husks 329) popcorn except it's made out of something else that pops... 330) a device that attaches to your waist and holds a book in front of your face so you don't have to strain your neck 331) tea pods that you drop in hot water instead of tea bags. they dissolve so you don't have to try to fish out the tea bag and throw it away 332) carbonated spirits 333) elastic belts 334) GMO potatoes that taste like a seasoned baked potato 335) popsicles that look like politicians 336) an apartment complex specifically designed for community living. like campus, except not a failed startup. improve on whatever made them fail - it looks like aiming for the high end market was an issue 337) champagne flavored orange juice. except it's non alcoholic like odulles and super cheap. so you can start every morning feeling like the 1% 338) orange flavored latte 339) pumpkin flavored ice cream 340) banana soda 341) bahn mi grilled cheese 342) Water bottles made of rubber 343) College designed for one specific job 344) job sponsored toastmasters 345) Refugee island 346) Shrink wrap for food 347) Busses for rich people 348) Scented tissues 349) Battery powered skateboards 350) Paper shoes 351) water balloons filled with cleaning liquid so cleaning your house is more fun 352) Fantasy football except it generates fake footage of all your players together 353) trash cans that have a pipe at the bottom automatically sending everything to a reservoir 354) coffee delivery service 355) ice cream delivery service 356) ice cream with coffee bean chunks in it 357) ice cubes made of coffee 358) An internship that takes place in a new country every month 359) A calculator that understands plain english (voice) 360) coffee flavored bubble gum 361) legal pads that have a different color for every page 362) carbonated ice cubes 363) carbonated ice cream 364) sprite float 365) mesh sunglasses cover 366) coffee straws 367) aluminum sunglass frames 368) washing machine that depills clothes 369) jean short shorts 370) jean hat 371) shortbread shaped like shorts 372) a cafe designed for business meetings and catching up with friends, so like it's soundproofed maybe? 373) a service that connects dogs that need to be walked with obese people who need to walk 374) rainbow taxis 375) rainbow hair dye 376) incense deodorant/cologne 377) sweatpants that look like jeans 378) an apartment complex with a subsidized grocery store built into it 379) you know how they have food co-ops? how about a school/education co-op. 380) an island for homeless people 381) air freshener that fits in your pocket 382) uber designed to take you from public transport destination straight to your doorstop for pennies 383) chairs that you buy at the store and can easily decorate them yourself 384) a service where if you're having a bad day you can borrow a shelter dog 385) microwaveable raw pasta 386) pasta sauce with 24k gold flakes in it 387) heels that have invisible filling so it doesn't feel like you're walking in heels 388) startup pitch generator website 389) a service where you pay someone to go to a conference then pretends to be you and networks with people 390) coffee with vitamins 391) news articles on water bottles 392) digital posters 393) a frame on your wall that uploads the front page of new york times every morning 394) orange socks 395) socks that smell like oranges 396) mugs with built in straws 397) an alarm that rings a few times a day reminding you what your priorities are 398) frappucino without sugar and maybe add protein 399) protein water 400) edible newspaper 401) brown paper bags that aren't brown 402) spaghetti made of bread 403) baked ice cream 404) public cubbies in the city 405) bike stealer vigilante service 406) ceiling fans that spin vertically 407) gyms that pay you to go 408) windows that clean themselves 409) skateboards that run on gasoline 410) adopt a rapper program 411) a gym that gives you a monthly discount based on your bmi 412) aluminum foil pants 413) night vision goggles for truck drivers 414) an app that explains all the currently trending hashtags on twitter 415) flowers that grow in reverse 416) suits made out of nike dri-fit 417) shoes designed to be put in the washing machine without breaking their form 418) take out boxes made out of thick rice paper 419) milkshakes with artificial sweetener 420) in honor of 420 - marijuana milkshakes 421) coffee mugs that are made out of recycled coffee plants 422) a backscratching blanket that you can lay on 423) peanuts that taste like other nuts 424) alcoholic protein shakes 425) a curvy iphone called a jphone 426) odulles for vodka 427) peanut butter jelly quesadilla 428) GMO apples with caramel flavor in it 429) the talking trout thing that you can attach to the front of your car 430) Indian sushi 431) a service where you talk to someone on the phone about your job goals and life and they make a resume for you in less than 30 minutes. 432) a restaurant where they give you the recipe for whatever you order when you're done eating 433) chair that sits on a roomba so it can drive you around 434) free weight loss program where they send you to the desert and you have to find your way back 435) every guy spends a significant amount of their life shaving. we need shave consultants to make shaving as pleasant of an experience as possible 436) shoes that have tv screens on them 437) sugar-ed pretzels 438) head wax for balding people 439) beard donation for the less fortunate 440) concrete rings 441) carbonated milk 442) root beer ice cream 443) talking trash cans that compliment you when you put something in it 444) neck warmers for giraffes 445) whiteboards that are black 446) books made of kelp 447) a phone and wallet hybrid 448) gum flavored food 449) food flavored gum 450) elevators that have quick exercise machines in them 451) peanuts with extra protein 452) chocolate covered peanuts 453) peanut reeses 454) beard softener cream 455) coconut covered almonds 456) running shoes that are covered in reflective material 457) socks that are covered in reflective material 458) chewing gum that has vitamins or caffeine in it 459) hats with reflective tape on them 460) whiteboard markers that smell like fruit 461) crowdsourced maps that says where people go the most often or fav places 462) carbonated coffee 463) bars that have a section for underage people where they have odulles 464) a starbucks inside a starbucks 465) iphones that run android 466) cars that have glow in the dark wheels 467) concrete shoes 468) spotify for movies 469) uber for haircuts 470) diet chocolate 471) savory soda 472) shower that heats up the rest of the room so when you get out you're still warm 473) warm floor tiles 474) vegan fried chicken 475) nair branded for mens faces 476) shoes that are made to last a lifetime 477) ipads for mute people to help them talk 478) t shirts with turtle necks 479) chewing gum that has an appetite suppressant 480) home milkshake maker 481) sock dryer for when it rains and you get wet socks 482) hydrophobic socks 483) spicy pancakes, maybe pumpkin 484) reeses lollipops 485) chewy gummy lollipops 486) virtual job interview service 487) a fancy pants restaurant that only serves breakfast 488) a service where you switch jobs with someone in the same industry across the world for 3 months 489) waterproof running shoes 490) disposable umbrellas 491) tinder for food 492) app to post ideas that drunk people have 493) an app that connects drunk or high people with enterpreneurs to give them ideas 494) live stream karaoke 495) free boats for homeless people 496) yelp for barbers 497) live streaming for drunk people 498) tinder for biceps 499) uber for coffee 500) bring back the dinosaurs 501) messaging for github 502) popsicle delivery on a hot day. like it's a government funded charity to make the city happy 503) github AI detector to automatically solve merge issues 504) a chrome extension that adds a chatroom to every page on the internet 505) a website that you put a bunch of ideas into and it tells you objectively the best idea 506) a website where drunk people can entertain people for money 507) a phone cover that changes color depending on heat 508) a mood ring that tightens whenever you get angry 509) an anonymous essay writing platform 510) twitter for poetry 511) locks for your bagel bags to stop bagel thieves 512) anonymous polling service for college lectures 513) a cover for your phone that displays the date and time on the back 514) uber for homeless people 515) airbnb for pets 516) blogging platform for kids 517) cookies with fruit in them 518) fruitcake for the whole year round 519) brownie lollipops like cake pops 520) interactive vim tutorial in browser 521) free programming classes at libraries 522) vegetable flavored candy 523) grape on a stick 524) liquid graphite pens 525) cameras in your home that determine your pet's mood when you leave 526) a city where cars drive above ground but all the sidewalks are below ground 527) a blog platform specifically made for people trying to lose weight 528) an IDE that has real time chat with team members or people who are working on similar projects 529) a reality show that puts a bunch of drug using rock stars in a convent 530) instagram for programmers 531) aws tutorial for total beginners 532) justin bieber website that shows the progression of his music over time 533) blogs that you can only view if you're near the location they were posted 534) charity that gives domain names to promising web developers in 3rd world countries 535) service that hooks up a college freshman with a senior for a whole year and helps them get adjusted 536) beer that has protein 537) beer that gets you drunk but only on friday and saturday nights 538) tinder for homeless people 539) concert livestreams 540) tour bus livestreams for musicians (possibly on twitch.tv) 541) community lounge sponsored by cities (i.e. taxpayer money) 542) a school where you study in a different country for every semester 543) social workers that live in the projects 544) art gallery for kids under 5 years old 545) an app where you let other people listen to whatever you are listening to within a 1 mi radius 546) a dating website that matches you based on things you hate 547) a robot car that picks you up from an airport in a foreign city and generates a list of touristy things to do then takes you to each one 548) High heels with rubber heels 549) pool with a glass bottom on the second floor of a house 550) electronic pool table where everything is virtual 551) neck pad to prevent neck pain while using the computer 552) neck warmer that is literally a cat 553) justin bieber action figure 554) bill cosby pudding pops (not sure if they will sell very good now) 555) messaging platform for github 556) hacker news chatroom 557) a website that calculates how long until you die / how long you've been alive 558) league of legends in real life 559) headphones that are 100% biodegradable 560) gum that tastes like italian food 561) earplugs that are sticky so they stay in your ear 562) website that integrates with facebook and makes a graph visualization with your social network 563) watch that vibrates depending on your mood 564) food that freshens your breath after you're finished eating it 565) watch that tells you it's time to get a watch 566) rainbow deodorant 567) deodorant that smells like food 568) edible highlighter 569) TAs for your life 570) shoes that are gum resistant 571) glasses that track your eye movements all day 572) wireless computer charger 573) jacket made out of a blanket 574) computer chair that supports your neck 575) tylenol that has ambien in it 576) fig newton without figs 577) animated curtains 578) air conditioner that puts fresh smells in the air 579) headphones with a cup holder 580) professional quote maker manual 581) gum that doesn't stick to surfaces like under desk, sidewalks, etc. 582) holographic newspaper ads 583) bring back the pet rock 584) healthy jamba juice. Like Suja but made fresh and cheaper. 585) fruit flavored cola 586) savory soda 587) nylon jackets that don't make crinkly noises 588) computer that tracks your face and automatically tilts the screen to reduce neck strain 589) wallet made out of carpet 590) waterproof carpet 591) watch that can switch between analog and digital 592) jeans made out of cashmere 593) lotion for your hair 594) sponges that are infused with soap 595) jackets that keep you cold instead of hot 596) hot ice cubes. like not made of ice but it keeps your drink hot 597) book that tells a different story if you start reading from the back 598) alarm clock that yells at you instead of ringing 599) blog website for pets 600) lollipops that contain vitamins - for kids 601) apple watch that detects your mood when running and plays music accordingly 602) athletic shoes that automatically cool off your feet 603) waterproof socks 604) reflective socks 605) antibacterial tissues 606) salsa for foods that are not mexican 607) water bottle that is compostable 608) rent a shelter dog service 609) sunglasses that absorb sunlight and converts it to energy 610) sunglasses that change color depending on the intensity of light 611) eraser that whitens after it erases 612) community office space paid for by the city 613) free coffee for monthly muni/bart pass holders 614) flash drive that also can project images 615) electronic water bottle that cools down its contents 616) iphone case that turns red when your phone is overheating 617) magazine about magazines 618) headphones combined with earmuffs 619) beanie that keeps your head cool but blocks noise, mainly for use while you sleep maybe you can pull it over your eyes too to block out light 620) hair salon that gives you a surprise haircut every time 621) tie dye water glasses 622) water bottles with text that changes color indicating temperature 623) pencil eraser that makes your paper smell good 624) thot radar 625) headphones that amplify noise outside them 626) office chairs with seat warmers 627) office chairs with seat coolers 628) windbreaker that doesn't make crinkly noises 629) shower phone 630) a combination between wine and beer 631) spaghetti sauce with vitamins 632) digital magic 8 ball 633) electric bicycle 634) book where each chapter is a shortened version of a classic book 635) app to find the nearest public toilet 636) app to find where really nice cars are driving around 637) tv channel that just has audiobooks on 24/7 638) flavored rain 639) pumpkin spice almonds 640) blogging platform for charities 641) portable vinyl player 642) jacket made of hair 643) bus that has a bar in it 644) kindle that has the texture of a book cover 645) stickers that light up 646) beanie with a built in heater 647) breadsticks with marinara sauce inside them 648) inside out pizza 649) jean socks 650) exit signs that have built in fire & carbon monoxide detectors 651) a boat inside a boat 652) office chairs that massage your back while you work 653) sharpies that aren't permanent 654) public trash cans that automatically compact themselves 655) licorice flavored lollipop 656) savory churro 657) a guide to saving money written by a gangster 658) permanent expo markers 659) hand sanitizer that doesn't smell like alcohol 660) fetty wap voice modulator app 661) a restaurant that only sells mac and cheese 662) backpacks for pets 663) peanut butter and jelly breadsticks 664) bread that's fortified with protein 665) waterproof jeans 666) transparent jackets 667) movie theater where everyone has to share a free giant bucket of popcorn 668) digital stop signs 669) baguette with fruit baked in 670) painting where the center is blank but the art is on the frame 671) soylent for pets 672) stickers you can put on your zits 673) socks that light up like a christmas tree 674) weight scale that shows you a motivational message every time you step on it 675) get paid to translate foreign text and learn a language at the same time 676) protein bars that are made of fruit (like a lara bar) 677) TVs with personality 678) jacket with gloves that you can wear or hide in the sleeves 679) vine for musicians 680) alarm clock that punches you in the face when it's time to get up 681) burrito filled with chinese food (e.g. orange chicken) 682) protein bar that tastes like mint chocolate chip ice cream 683) pita chips that are sour cream & onion flavored 684) savory soda 685) dessert nachos 686) waterproof baseball cap 687) shoes that tie themselves 688) post-it notes that smell good 689) colorful plastic water bottles 690) a laundry machine that you can play video games on while you're waiting 691) tissues that change color when they're used 692) headphones that massage your ears 693) turtlenecks for exercise 694) jean underwear 695) lightbulbs that change color when they need to be replaced 696) napkins that you can put in the dishwasher 697) gloves that cover your fingers but not your palms 698) vegetables that taste like fruit 699) fruit lasagna/dessert lasagna 700) all rubber wristwatch 701) protein water 702) glow in the dark whiteboards 703) febreeze bidet 704) drones that fly lunch to your office 705) backpacks that go on your front (frontpacks) 706) jackets that button up on the back 707) self buttoning/zipping jacket 708) robot pets 709) bao burger 710) dog therapist 711) pre-seasoned rice 712) rice with protein 713) dinner cereal 714) shoes for your hands 715) glow in the dark jackets 716) sunglasses for sports 717) ceiling fan that periodically sprays air freshener 718) battery powered skateboards 719) toothpaste that you can swallow 720) mouthwash that comes in ketchup packs (portable) 721) diet ice cream 722) pie made out of whipped cream 723) polyester dress shirts 724) waterproof beanie 725) socks for your ears 726) vanilla brownies (whities/honkies) 727) square water bottles 728) tinder for racists 729) doorknobs that sanitize themselves 730) headphones that double as ear muffs 731) water bottles made of glass 732) headphones made of glass 733) sunscreen bar like a soap bar 734) double sided monitor 735) chest hair comb 736) coffee cup that you drink upside down 737) keyboard that emits smells 738) gym for only fat people 739) fast food restaurant that discounts if you're fat 740) bike that charges your phone when you ride it 741) backpack that you wear on your head 742) beanie that you throw in the freezer and it cools your head 743) soundproof tent that you can take anywhere when you need some quiet 744) a book on how to write a book 745) shoes for dogs 746) glow in the dark pillows 747) pool table with hologram pool balls 748) beard wax 749) pain reliever soda 750) stress ball that talks back to you 751) subway for burritos 752) portable coffee mug that holds milk and sugar in the top 753) shoes that tie in the back 754) highlighters that are multiple colors 755) shirt with one long sleeve and one short sleeve 756) sushi with french fries in it 757) pickled fruit 758) nylon running gloves 759) edible christmas ornaments 760) headphones that turn into earbuds 761) vodka bottles shaped like water bottles 762) backpack that has no pockets 763) hat that has pockets 764) floss that doesn't cut off circulation to your fingers 765) salted fruit 766) vegetables dipped in chocolate 767) glow in the dark phone case 768) water fountains at gyms that are filled with gatorade 769) toothbrush with accelerometer that tracks your brushing habits over time 770) coffee cup that changes color depending on the temperature of the coffee 771) coffee flavored tablets that melt in your mouth for when you're in a rush 772) t-shirt made out of newspaper (print, not actual paper) 773) two sided fork 774) cell phone and wallet combination 775) app that takes 1 cent off your transactions and donates it to charity 776) jeans that zip from behind 777) zip up running shoes 778) google maps that gives you directions based on the least amount of trash and other unsightly things 779) cordless earbuds 780) lollipop that freshens your breath 781) coffee for nighttime 782) chipotle for greek food 783) edible air freshener 784) sunglasses with side mirrors 785) steel toe running shoes 786) uber for garbage men 787) a book about books 788) sharpie that smells fruity 789) burrito with mac and cheese inside 790) colored contact lenses 791) dating app where you can only go out with a person if you've gone out with one of their friends 792) pineapple that smells like pine and tastes like apple 793) phone case that's edible 794) tortilla chips that taste like burrito 795) ear coolers 796) spray bottle that has breath freshener in it 797) headphones that vibrate 798) tylenol soda 799) breakfast sushi 800) rectangular water bottle 801) trash can that compliments you when you put trash in it 802) security cameras with smiley faces on them 803) air conditioner that warms up when you say turn up the heat and vice versa 804) microwave that warms up the room (and doesn't kill everyone) 805) rain jacket that gets warmer the wetter it gets 806) an autobiography generator - then again, I guess it would be a biography 807) socks that vibrate 808) deodorant for your under-areas 809) a car horn that plays a loud annoying guitar riff 810) a barber that gives you a book of haircuts to choose instead of just saying a little off the top etc 811) a music player that changes music depending on your pulse strength, rate, etc 812) a pill that quenches your thirst 813) hair gel that doubles as cologne 814) transparent cologne stickers that you can just stick on your skin 815) grilled carrots 816) burrito with african food 817) breakfast sushi 818) lightbulb that emits smells 819) a watch that literally tells you what time it is 820) a tie that ties itself 821) cereal bowl that separates the cereal and the milk 822) two sided spoon 823) spoon with a hole in it so it filters out the milk when you're eating cereal 824) coffee cup that keeps your coffee at the perfect drinking temperature 825) rainy weather shoes that have extra traction 826) office chairs that have neck and back massagers 827) wooden doorhandle 828) mirror that only reflects certain colors 829) reflective running shoes 830) tissues that smell good 831) pita chips that have hummus inside them 832) mexican food flavored lollipops 833) advil bottle that compliments you before you take some 834) baseball hat that has a football team on it 835) tabasco for desserts 836) spicy desserts in general 837) balloon filled with air freshener 838) reflective reading glasses 839) sushi with french fries inside 840) clothing line where every piece just has the name of the piece of clothing printed on it in big white letters 841) walnut brittle 842) sandals that you can wear in the rain 843) electric drum set 844) soda that's not carbonated 845) carbonated juice 846) clear lipstick 847) t shirt that changes colors every time it's washed 848) movie theatre for couples where each couple gets a private booth 849) edible action figures 850) umbrella hat, or just a waterproof hat 851) app that checks your happiness level on a scale of 1-10 throughout the day 852) weight loss coaching from your dog 853) water bottle with motivational words on them 854) an app that lets normal people carpool with food delivery runners 855) lightbulbs that get dimmer when they're about to die 856) luggage that gets picked up at your doorstep and gets sent to your destination 857) pre-toasted bread 858) bagels without the hole 859) socks with holes in the toes 860) a sock for your head 861) hair gel that colors your hair 862) hair gel that's edible 863) edible beanie babies 864) crystal light for food 865) water glass that's shaped like a water droplet 866) soda that tastes like water 867) socks that have built in toe warmers 868) socks that are waterproof 869) hearing aids that play music 870) frisbees for cats 871) netflix for music 872) netflix for cars 873) backpack that has a tv on the front 874) umbrella that is inverted 875) car boat hybrid 876) planes for the ocean 877) hat that has a clock on the front 878) church for atheists 879) self-warming pillow 880) haircut delivery 881) someone that comes to your house every morning and makes you coffee 882) hair salons that make your hair longer instead of shorter 883) self-cooling pillow 884) a hat that massages your head 885) different colored sunflowers 886) sugary sunflower seeds 887) instant coffee that doesn't taste like dirt 888) instant eggnog 889) uber for parties - they bring the party to you 890) tinder for things to do on lazy sundays 891) a site that recommends a book for you based on your mood 892) a sassy calendar app 893) vegetable juice that doesn't taste like vegetable juice 894) french fries made of something other than potato 895) leather umbrella 896) online dating for pets 897) online dating for pet owners but you can only see their pet photos not pictures of themselves 898) online dating except it's not dating you just use it to find chill friends to hang out with 899) poker except the winner gets to choose who has to permanently relocate to canada 900) artisanal fast food 901) beer that comes in gallon jugs 902) laundry detergent that smells like hot chocolate 903) airplanes where you lay down instead of sit in a chair 904) backpack with no straps... it just sticks to you 905) a chatroom exclusively for people who are having a headache 906) major league baseball except all the players are drunk 907) baseball hat that covers your ears 908) police officers that carry pool noodles instead of guns 909) cereal condiments 910) v necks... but for every letter in the alphabet 911) business incubator for restaurants 912) instant tea (powder instead of bags) 913) t shirt with a hood 914) denim socks 915) boxes not made out of cardboard 916) dating site that matches you based on what time you take a shower everyday 917) bicycle helmet with a flashlight on it 918) sunflower seeds with edible shells 919) anime for grandparents 920) a hat that has wifi 921) treadmill that dispenses a donut every 5K you run 922) dessert pasta 923) hawaii for cold weather 924) licorice that tastes fruity 925) twitter for toddlers 926) sausage company that teaches you german on the packaging 927) a magazine that gives you sparknotes on all the other magazines 928) cereal for lunch and dinner 929) scented socks 930) Amazon.com except you can only purchase things from the amazon rainforest 931) instead of food being delivered to you, you are delivered to the food 932) dessert popcorn 933) dipping popcorn 934) collared exercise shirts 935) dress clothes for exercising 936) a robot that you can argue with when you're stressed out 937) party foul police 938) mini golf, regular golf, and... huge golf 939) a bar called work. So you can say you're just going to work. 940) freelance cheerleaders that you can just hire for a day to cheer you on 941) coffee flavored candy 942) coffee flavored soda 943) blockbuster for household appliances 944) office chair that compliments you 945) getting married on a airline flight 946) stylish aprons for everyday wear 947) shoes for your hands 948) kale milkshake 949) americanized french fries 950) two sided iphone 951) beer in a plastic bottle 952) pretzels with sugar instead of salt 953) carbonated coffee 954) uber for baby deliveries/midwives 955) iced tea in capri-sun packets 956) paintings by dogs 957) pillows that vibrate 958) no bake brownies 959) benches that are made specifically for sleeping on 960) concrete trees 961) wigs for dogs 962) cold cocoa 963) sneeze stopper 964) cough blocker 965) nyquil lollipops 966) paintball except with delicious edible paint 967) indoor camping 968) diet s'mores 969) vibrating headphones 970) real gnomes 971) edible coffee mugs 972) chocolate dipped graham crackers 973) gummy bear that is the size of an actual bear 974) consultants for your life 975) sweet popcorn 976) flannel that is not plaid 977) funyun seasoning 978) vegetable chips 979) vegetable rings. like onion rings but for other vegetables 980) business jacket with a hoodie 981) palm tree garnish 982) coconut cereal 983) a bakery that doesn't sell bread 984) bread clothing 985) a train that you can ride for free if you dance the whole time 986) gym on a train 987) wallet made out of money 988) vegetarian chicken and waffles 989) trump wig 990) 4 wheeled bike 991) sparknotes for movies 992) chocolate snow cone 993) chocolate covered toast 994) ice cubes made out of frozen coffee 995) indian french fusion 996) grapefruit soda 997) combination between a grape and a grapefruit 998) edible books 999) vanilla brownies 1000) vanilla candy bar 1001) goodreads for movies 1002) dating website that matches you based on music interests 1003) headphones that you can sleep with 1004) TV that you can remote control to move it up, down, etc 1005) anonymous blogging platform 1006) e-cig that doesn't create vapor 1007) a site to connect unemployed people to volunteer opportunities 1008) jacket with ventilation holes 1009) running shoes covered in tarp to make them waterproof 1010) massaging office chairs 1011) post-its that are sticky on both sides 1012) TED talks hosted by criminals 1013) ramen dessert 1014) Kanye West virtual reality simulator 1015) crunchy gum 1016) microwave except instead of heating, it cools 1017) sushi -> replace rice with noodles 1018) vegetarian gelatin 1019) pet dancing classes 1020) backpack with a built-in umbrella 1021) transparent sandals 1022) aerobed chairs 1023) tuxedo swimsuit 1024) non-animated anime 1025) coffee that makes you sleepy 1026) multi-color bananas 1027) chairs that are made to sit cross-legged on 1028) pet dancing classes 1029) elderly computer programming classes 1030) electronic blackboard 1031) finger warmers 1032) running gloves 1033) plaid pants 1034) cup-pies (as opposed to cupcakes) 1035) parking under city streets 1036) commute to work in a helicopter and avoid traffic 1037) protein gum 1038) caffeine jelly beans 1039) pens with edible ink 1040) dishwasher that burns off food instead of using water 1041) pill you can swallow that makes you feel full 1042) e-book reader that has a hardcover like a book 1043) device that projects gps directions onto your windshield 1044) fried spaghetti 1045) battered and fried vegetables to eat at sports games 1046) protein water 1047) baseball except you can tackle people 1048) a bar where everyone has to sit on the floor 1049) schoolbuses that are not yellow 1050) homeless person virtual reality simulator 1051) beaches with no ocean 1052) shampoo/body wash line that smells like candy 1053) four wheel scooter 1054) nylon baseball cap 1055) soft bite size pretzels in a bag 1056) electronic legal pad 1057) caramel peanut butter (reeses?) 1058) drones that can carry passengers 1059) shoes that dry themselves while you're running 1060) oven that heats and cools 1061) macaroni and cheese salad 1062) peanut butter and celery sandwich 1063) phone case made of rubber to resist impact damage 1064) a refrigerator that locks when it's not time to eat 1065) carbonated tea 1066) dessert lasagna 1067) soundcloud for sound effects 1068) youtube for free indie movies 1069) airbnb except guests don't pay with cash, they cook for you 1070) DJ Khaled dog toy 1071) drink glasses with built in straws 1072) vibrating pillows 1073) spill shield for cup holders in cars 1074) hydrating gummy bears for athletes 1075) wallet that smells like fruit 1076) sweet peanut butter 1077) peanut butter flavored crackers 1078) edible straws 1079) skin colored socks 1080) running socks made of polyester 1081) slippers that massage your feet 1082) mobile ice bath 1083) sunscreen that smells fruity 1084) flavored ink 1085) trees that broadcast wifi/cellular signals 1086) shoes that have foot warmers in them 1087) plaid socks 1088) gas station that sells healthy food 1089) escalator for your house 1090) bubble gum flavored gatorade 1091) gum that helps you quit marijuana 1092) recycled jeans 1093) electronic office chair for reclining/lowering/etc 1094) melatonin lollipop 1095) tea popsicles 1096) coffee flavored soda 1097) running shoes that yell motivational things while you run 1098) lightbulbs that change color depending on time of day (see f.lux) 1099) sweet and sour spaghetti sauce 1100) baked potatoes for 4/20 1101) no flex zone - a gym that does not allow flexing 1102) electric ukelele 1103) rainbow whipped cream 1104) hair gel that dissolves after 12 hours 1105) vegetable pie 1106) fruity brownies 1107) dessert burrito 1108) book club podcast 1109) antibacterial doorknobs 1110) laundry bag that neutralizes odor 1111) belt that clicks like a seatbelt 1112) christian rap music 1113) electric piano 1114) otc pain reliever patch 1115) electronic ear plugs that play white noise 1116) homeless shelter that provides sleeping pods instead of housing 1117) put vitamins in the water supply 1118) pods full of cleaning fluid that you put in the toilet basin, and they dissolve over time to clean your toilet 1119) tinted mirrors 1120) running jeans 1121) drones that deliver meals 1122) pre-toasted bread 1123) baseball hat that has the home team on the outside and away on the inside 1124) silent vacuum 1125) juice boxes filled with tea 1126) running sombrero 1127) zero calorie chips 1128) dehydrated vegetable chips 1129) electronic kaleidoscope 1130) bed that rotates 360 degrees 1131) zip up t-shirt 1132) edible floss 1133) backpack w/ velcro instead of zippers 1134) citrus licorice 1135) sweet cheetos 1136) lemon gum 1137) umbrella hat 1138) goosebumps tv show revival 1139) rice infused with vitamins 1140) zero dollar bill 1141) e-book reader made out of paper with two separate screens, like a book 1142) caffeine lollipops 1143) headphones that are shaped like ears 1144) heavy metal with pianos 1145) virtual reality LARPing 1146) programming language for animals 1147) sandals that don't have a top, they just stick to your feet 1148) rice cream sundae 1149) t shirt you can put on without messing up your hair 1150) a book about books 1151) a quiet, soundproof room in the city that costs $5/hr 1152) thing that you can strap to your lower back to support good posture 1153) air filled couch. like aerobed 1154) Here are some ideas: 1155) 1 hour emergency condoms/sextoys delivery 1156) The barber review 1157) Take me home: "bodyguard" as a service 1158) The brothels review 1159) Casting news 1160) CV Bot 1161) A raw data marketplace 1162) An e-paper programmable card 1163) Fat programmer, the videogame 1164) Follow me luggage 1165) IKEA personal shopper 1166) Let's build a website together! 1167) Lost babies tattoo (or bracelet) 1168) Luxury news for rich people 1169) Use a color to make phishing hard 1170) Holidays with no technology 1171) Survive the office: a manual 1172) Photos of secret places 1173) A predefined messages keyboard for mobile 1174) The idea number 0, the prototype for all other ideas 1175) Pay 9.99$ / month to reiceive a random vynil LP 1176) Sandwiches recipe app 1177) Shutdown app for smartphones 1178) Sideprojects cemeterey, marketplace for dead sideprojects 1179) Technology personal shopper 1180) Tourist guide on demand for travel tips 1181) An Uber for simple tech support 1182) Vegan food/restaurants/lifestyle review 1183) Your vegetables garden app 1184) Play videogames meetup platform 1185) Visual dictionary based on Google Images API 1186) We make your bed service 1187) Anxiety coach

[gordonwilliamsweb]

Hate Unmasked In America

“You are the most selfish f—ing people on the planet.”

I jerked my head to the left, where I saw a neighbor glaring at us from his driveway while unloading groceries from his trunk.

“Where’s your f—ing mask?” he said. “Unbelievable.”

My jaw dropped. I had just walked three blocks home with my toddler and my dad in our leafy, mostly empty Los Angeles neighborhood because my kid had thrown a tantrum in the car.

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And we had forgotten our masks. Four days earlier, Mayor Eric Garcetti had ordered protective face coverings anytime we left home, not just when we entered essential businesses.

I pointed out my house to the neighbor to explain how close we were, just a few doors down from him. He cut me off.

“I don’t give a f– where you live, and I don’t give a f– what your reason is.”

Then my dad jumped in. “Sorry, sir, we forgot our masks. I’m sorry, sir.”

Still, the man didn’t soften.

“You should be sorry. And you should make her be sorry, too,” he gestured toward me. After a few more agonizing seconds, he dismissed us.

Our neighbor’s mask, by the way? It was off his face, hanging loosely around his neck. All the better to shout at us.

As a health care reporter, I had covered America’s evolution on masks as the coronavirus spread across the globe. Back in January, I wrote an article about why Chinese immigrants insisted on wearing surgical and construction masks in the U.S., even though it went against official health recommendations at the time. In February, I wrote about Asian families in California clashing with schools over whether their children should be allowed to wear masks in class.

At that time, Asian people wearing masks were targets for verbal and physical abuse. Attackers saw masks on Asian faces as signs of disease and invasion; people were punched and kicked, harassed in the supermarket, bullied at school and worse.

Now, of course, masks are the norm. And they’ve become more than just personal protection; they are symbols of courtesy and scientific buy-in. They have, to some extent, also become political signifiers. In a new poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation, 70% of Democrats said they wear a protective mask “every time” they leave their house, versus 37% of Republicans. (Kaiser Health News is an editorially independent program of KFF.)

After our verbal beatdown, my dad and I walked home stone-faced, and then retreated to our separate rooms to nurse our wounds.

I have no idea if the neighbor’s comments had a racist undertone. But it felt like the times in my childhood, first in New Zealand, then in a Bay Area suburb, when I had seen my Philippines-born parents, stunned and silent, get dressed down or humiliated by angry, callous white people. Now it was my 3-year-old daughter’s turn to see me dumbstruck. As I began telling my husband the story, I started crying so hard that I got a headache.

Marigold, 3, wore this mask for five minutes outside and then threw it away. We haven’t been able to find it since. In the background is her grandfather, Jovit Almendrala, trying his own mask out for the first time. (Courtesy of Anna Almendrala)

After my tears came reflection, and an attempt at empathy.

My neighbor was obviously scared. He was older, and potentially more medically vulnerable. His trunk had been packed with overstuffed shopping bags ― probably enough food for weeks, to avoid leaving his house.

He had just come from the grocery store, an enclosed space full of things and people that could potentially infect him. I understand the stress that comes with shopping during the pandemic.

Like many of us, my neighbor could be struggling with how to live in mortal fear of the coronavirus. And for him, at least that morning, that struggle got the better of him.

Later that day, I wrote the neighbor a card introducing ourselves. I apologized for making him feel unsafe and acknowledged that he was right about the masks. But I also said he had unfairly used us as a target for his fear and frustration, and I told him I was shocked and saddened he would treat a neighbor with so much hate. I haven’t heard back from him.

My dad spent the rest of that morning praying that the man didn’t get the coronavirus — lest he blame us and all Asians, forever.

Since that day, no one in my family has left the house without a mask on their face, and I’m anxious to train my daughter to wear one, although she resists it the way she has refused hats and headbands in the past.

We can’t stop noticing that most other exercisers and dog-walkers in our neighborhood ― all white ― fly past us without them. They don’t seem to worry about getting caught on the wrong side of whatever America happens to believe about masks on any given day. But my family can’t risk it.

Hate Unmasked In America published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[stephenmccull]

Hate Unmasked In America

“You are the most selfish f—ing people on the planet.”

I jerked my head to the left, where I saw a neighbor glaring at us from his driveway while unloading groceries from his trunk.

“Where’s your f—ing mask?” he said. “Unbelievable.”

My jaw dropped. I had just walked three blocks home with my toddler and my dad in our leafy, mostly empty Los Angeles neighborhood because my kid had thrown a tantrum in the car.

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Subscribe to KHN’s free Weekly Edition newsletter, delivered every Friday.

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And we had forgotten our masks. Four days earlier, Mayor Eric Garcetti had ordered protective face coverings anytime we left home, not just when we entered essential businesses.

I pointed out my house to the neighbor to explain how close we were, just a few doors down from him. He cut me off.

“I don’t give a f– where you live, and I don’t give a f– what your reason is.”

Then my dad jumped in. “Sorry, sir, we forgot our masks. I’m sorry, sir.”

Still, the man didn’t soften.

“You should be sorry. And you should make her be sorry, too,” he gestured toward me. After a few more agonizing seconds, he dismissed us.

Our neighbor’s mask, by the way? It was off his face, hanging loosely around his neck. All the better to shout at us.

As a health care reporter, I had covered America’s evolution on masks as the coronavirus spread across the globe. Back in January, I wrote an article about why Chinese immigrants insisted on wearing surgical and construction masks in the U.S., even though it went against official health recommendations at the time. In February, I wrote about Asian families in California clashing with schools over whether their children should be allowed to wear masks in class.

At that time, Asian people wearing masks were targets for verbal and physical abuse. Attackers saw masks on Asian faces as signs of disease and invasion; people were punched and kicked, harassed in the supermarket, bullied at school and worse.

Now, of course, masks are the norm. And they’ve become more than just personal protection; they are symbols of courtesy and scientific buy-in. They have, to some extent, also become political signifiers. In a new poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation, 70% of Democrats said they wear a protective mask “every time” they leave their house, versus 37% of Republicans. (Kaiser Health News is an editorially independent program of KFF.)

After our verbal beatdown, my dad and I walked home stone-faced, and then retreated to our separate rooms to nurse our wounds.

I have no idea if the neighbor’s comments had a racist undertone. But it felt like the times in my childhood, first in New Zealand, then in a Bay Area suburb, when I had seen my Philippines-born parents, stunned and silent, get dressed down or humiliated by angry, callous white people. Now it was my 3-year-old daughter’s turn to see me dumbstruck. As I began telling my husband the story, I started crying so hard that I got a headache.

Marigold, 3, wore this mask for five minutes outside and then threw it away. We haven’t been able to find it since. In the background is her grandfather, Jovit Almendrala, trying his own mask out for the first time. (Courtesy of Anna Almendrala)

After my tears came reflection, and an attempt at empathy.

My neighbor was obviously scared. He was older, and potentially more medically vulnerable. His trunk had been packed with overstuffed shopping bags ― probably enough food for weeks, to avoid leaving his house.

He had just come from the grocery store, an enclosed space full of things and people that could potentially infect him. I understand the stress that comes with shopping during the pandemic.

Like many of us, my neighbor could be struggling with how to live in mortal fear of the coronavirus. And for him, at least that morning, that struggle got the better of him.

Later that day, I wrote the neighbor a card introducing ourselves. I apologized for making him feel unsafe and acknowledged that he was right about the masks. But I also said he had unfairly used us as a target for his fear and frustration, and I told him I was shocked and saddened he would treat a neighbor with so much hate. I haven’t heard back from him.

My dad spent the rest of that morning praying that the man didn’t get the coronavirus — lest he blame us and all Asians, forever.

Since that day, no one in my family has left the house without a mask on their face, and I’m anxious to train my daughter to wear one, although she resists it the way she has refused hats and headbands in the past.

We can’t stop noticing that most other exercisers and dog-walkers in our neighborhood ― all white ― fly past us without them. They don’t seem to worry about getting caught on the wrong side of whatever America happens to believe about masks on any given day. But my family can’t risk it.

Hate Unmasked In America published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/

[dinafbrownil]

Hate Unmasked In America

“You are the most selfish f—ing people on the planet.”

I jerked my head to the left, where I saw a neighbor glaring at us from his driveway while unloading groceries from his trunk.

“Where’s your f—ing mask?” he said. “Unbelievable.”

My jaw dropped. I had just walked three blocks home with my toddler and my dad in our leafy, mostly empty Los Angeles neighborhood because my kid had thrown a tantrum in the car.

Don't Miss A Story

Subscribe to KHN’s free Weekly Edition newsletter, delivered every Friday.

Sign Up

Please confirm your email address below:

Sign Up

And we had forgotten our masks. Four days earlier, Mayor Eric Garcetti had ordered protective face coverings anytime we left home, not just when we entered essential businesses.

I pointed out my house to the neighbor to explain how close we were, just a few doors down from him. He cut me off.

“I don’t give a f– where you live, and I don’t give a f– what your reason is.”

Then my dad jumped in. “Sorry, sir, we forgot our masks. I’m sorry, sir.”

Still, the man didn’t soften.

“You should be sorry. And you should make her be sorry, too,” he gestured toward me. After a few more agonizing seconds, he dismissed us.

Our neighbor’s mask, by the way? It was off his face, hanging loosely around his neck. All the better to shout at us.

As a health care reporter, I had covered America’s evolution on masks as the coronavirus spread across the globe. Back in January, I wrote an article about why Chinese immigrants insisted on wearing surgical and construction masks in the U.S., even though it went against official health recommendations at the time. In February, I wrote about Asian families in California clashing with schools over whether their children should be allowed to wear masks in class.

At that time, Asian people wearing masks were targets for verbal and physical abuse. Attackers saw masks on Asian faces as signs of disease and invasion; people were punched and kicked, harassed in the supermarket, bullied at school and worse.

Now, of course, masks are the norm. And they’ve become more than just personal protection; they are symbols of courtesy and scientific buy-in. They have, to some extent, also become political signifiers. In a new poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation, 70% of Democrats said they wear a protective mask “every time” they leave their house, versus 37% of Republicans. (Kaiser Health News is an editorially independent program of KFF.)

After our verbal beatdown, my dad and I walked home stone-faced, and then retreated to our separate rooms to nurse our wounds.

I have no idea if the neighbor’s comments had a racist undertone. But it felt like the times in my childhood, first in New Zealand, then in a Bay Area suburb, when I had seen my Philippines-born parents, stunned and silent, get dressed down or humiliated by angry, callous white people. Now it was my 3-year-old daughter’s turn to see me dumbstruck. As I began telling my husband the story, I started crying so hard that I got a headache.

Marigold, 3, wore this mask for five minutes outside and then threw it away. We haven’t been able to find it since. In the background is her grandfather, Jovit Almendrala, trying his own mask out for the first time. (Courtesy of Anna Almendrala)

After my tears came reflection, and an attempt at empathy.

My neighbor was obviously scared. He was older, and potentially more medically vulnerable. His trunk had been packed with overstuffed shopping bags ― probably enough food for weeks, to avoid leaving his house.

He had just come from the grocery store, an enclosed space full of things and people that could potentially infect him. I understand the stress that comes with shopping during the pandemic.

Like many of us, my neighbor could be struggling with how to live in mortal fear of the coronavirus. And for him, at least that morning, that struggle got the better of him.

Later that day, I wrote the neighbor a card introducing ourselves. I apologized for making him feel unsafe and acknowledged that he was right about the masks. But I also said he had unfairly used us as a target for his fear and frustration, and I told him I was shocked and saddened he would treat a neighbor with so much hate. I haven’t heard back from him.

My dad spent the rest of that morning praying that the man didn’t get the coronavirus — lest he blame us and all Asians, forever.

Since that day, no one in my family has left the house without a mask on their face, and I’m anxious to train my daughter to wear one, although she resists it the way she has refused hats and headbands in the past.

We can’t stop noticing that most other exercisers and dog-walkers in our neighborhood ― all white ― fly past us without them. They don’t seem to worry about getting caught on the wrong side of whatever America happens to believe about masks on any given day. But my family can’t risk it.

from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/hate-unmasked-in-america/

[acrossthemar]

Corona Diaries

2/14 - Fly to Arizona for Grand Canyon and Arielle Bach Party. People in airport are wearing masks. I make a comment to my mom about it, not understanding why people are wearing masks or wondering if they are sick.

3/2 - Patient Zero tests positive for COVID19 in New Rochelle. 

3/8 - Our Boss at Schoology tells us we can work from home if we feel more comfortable. We think she’s just being lazy and wants to work from home herself.

3/6 - Comedy show in NYC. Kristin doesn’t feel well and we worry she should stay home incase she has COVID19. We go to the comedy show. The comedian makes jokes about COVID19, we laugh.

3/8 - Eric’s School closes School for the following week. I make a comment to him that that’s overkill and a “private school privilege”. All other schools will eventually close of course. 

3/11 - Mom flies to Madrid.

3/12 - National Pandemic Announced & Trump Announces Travel Ban between US/Europe. Cuomo declares State of Emergency in New York.

3/13 - Mom flies home from Madrid to NY after Mara books back up flight for Mom from Madrid to London. Mom spent $1400 to spend not even a full day in Madrid, goes back to the airport with thousands of panicked Americans, gets off stand by and comes home. Mara comes over to greet mom and give her some food, flowers, and company. 

3/14 - Mara works remotely indefinitely, office shuts down until at least April 7th. Mara and Eric do the NYT crossword, hike the Masters trails with Winnie, and Mara and Eric go to Japanese Restaurant with Susan, Jeff, and Matt. Restaurants will soon close. Earlier in the day Mara goes to Larchmont to check in on mom, goes for a walk with mom and Winnie, and meets up with Kristin, Kevin, and Zoey at Central School. 

3/15 - Mara goes to Larchmont and goes to Manor park with Shanni, Maddy, Liana, and Nicole and Nicole’s dog Remy. 

3/16 - Mara works from home. Luckily Peloton bike was delivered last week just before the store closures began. At this point all Spin Studios and Gyms shut down. Mara and Eric cook butternut squash risotto and parmesan asparagus. De Blasio announces that NYC Public Schools are closed. Meals will be served at food centers.

3/17 - Eric and Mara are watching Sex Education. Mara Eric and Susan go on trail hike with Winnie.  

3/18 - Mara Hallie Eric Winnie trail walk with Winnie. Mara Zoom date with high school friends. 

3/19 - Zoom date with MK, Jana, Jason. 

3/20 - Mom comes over for trail walk with Winnie and we cook the Shrimp Pasta dish with brussel sprouts.

3/21 - Peloton bike, talked to Elise on the phone, walked to tennis courts to play tennis with Eric’s family. The Masters courts are shut down due to Corona. Dinner at Eric’s family’s house. We sat at the dining room table to spread out. Mara played Ping Pong with Matt.

3/22 - Mara ran 3 miles, used Peloton, went to Larchmont to work on Obama NYT puzzle with mom.

3/23 - Monday, Peloton, worked from home, played SET with Eric, cooked a big salad. 

3/24 - Run, work, tennis with Jodi, visited mom, Video session with Aubrey, Elise, Kelly

3/25 - Peloton, work from home, went on walk to store, no one was there and everyone in masks. Order in sushi. Video date with MHS friends. We started a CS team fitness challenge today since no one is moving since only home! 

3/26 - Didn’t sleep because reading too much news and it’s so sad. US now has more cases than any other country (82k), NY has 37k cases, and the news is really grim. Had my virtual performance review and got a 3% raise, went on a 7 mile run but tripped on a rock and got hurt, played tennis with Jodi, then went to my mom’s and cooked dinner. I feel scared every time I go to my mom’s house in fear that I’m bringing the virus into her home. A lot of my mom’s coworkers have tested positive for COVID-19. Deccico’s is doing a great job with their grocery store (limiting number of people in store, making people wait outside 6 feet apart, mandated gloves, sanitizing shopping carts, glass wall at check out. Stop and shop is not doing much and so people haven’t been going. Trader Joes NYC closed because too many employees tested positive. Everyone is panicked and at this point it is hard to imagine life going back to normal. Even if legally it goes back to normal, everyone is absolutely terrified of other humans. Everything about this is unprecedented and unimaginable. Trump is a moron. It hurts to think about how much better handled this might have been with Obama. The 2020 Presidential Election is essentially at a standstill, no one going to primary elections, very curious what will happen, will we even be able to vote in November? Bernie and Biden left, Biden in the lead, but Biden is hardly speaking up about Covid-19. It’s been fulfilling to work at Schoology during this time as we are making a real difference in virtual learning and our school districts are eternally grateful. Side note––Amazon is hardly even running! They’ve cut down on their hours and employees, and the average wait on PRIME is 30 days!!! I am going to sleep at my mom’s tonight.

3/27 - Ended up sleeping at my mom’s on Thursday night. Took a work meeting from my mom’s then went back home. First dropped off my right AirPod at a FedEx drop off but you had to touch the box. Tried to do a Peloton class at home but Winnie got into my medicine bag and we found her with an empty laxative and ambien pill container. We took her to emergency vet and had them induce vomiting. We were terrified we killed her. Turns out she didn’t eat any pills and we ended up finding all of the pills when we got back from vet. Poor Winnie. Silly $300 at vet. Pet insurance is dumb because it has such a high deductible. I then went on a walk with Winnie because it was 64 degrees out. Eric and I cooked a fancy meatloaf for dinner and finished Sex Education.  I made a lovely cocktail. 

3/28 - Weekends don’t feel all that different from weekdays. Trump is discussing a mandatory quarantine on all New York residents since there are now 45,000 confirmed cases (many more unconfirmed). Reading the news is scary and I have been trying to limit it at night because it gives me insomnia and anxiety. Most of my friends aren’t seeing their parents at all. It’s gross out today. I did a few Peloton classes and started Little Fires Everywhere. It was a book turned into a movie but because movies are closed they released it as a TV series on Hulu. Just stepped out of the house for the first time today to take Winnie on a short walk. My team at Schoology is doing a fitness challenge to get some steps in because it’s HARD to find reasons to move! We were going to go to the Shear’s for dinner tonight but Susan had a headache this morning so to be safe we aren’t going. This is the crazy world we are currently living in. I’ve been mostly only wearing sports bras not real bras. We have not been able to locate lysol wipes in weeks. Note to self, I’d like to add some photos here because this really is all so unprecedented and it’s hard to put into words the craziness. 

3/29 - Working out every day but gaining weight. Watched Little Fires Everywhere - LOVE it. Gross day out. Peloton inside. Zoom Call with Kristin, Oliver, Parker, Mom. Went on a walk around the apartment. Weekends are worse than week days because no work to do. 

3/30 - Work is crazy because Schoology crashed since too many people on the platform. Did lots of Peloton Spin. Amanda moved her wedding to 2021. We are very worried about ours. I haven’t been sleeping. Went to visit mom with Winnie in afternoon for a walk. Passed neighbor Kelly but we couldn’t let her pet Winnie because not supposed to have other people pet your dog. We had a meeting with the Rabbi for our wedding. She is hopeful for July because she can’t stand the thought of not being able to send her kids to sleep-away camp haha. Started this dumb show Tiger King, everyone is watching it. About a man who keeps tigers in his house.

3/31 - Schoology crashed again. Too many users. Work has been busy but fulfilling though because we are so important right now, been nice to connect with my clients. It’s been hard working full days though I take breaks to work out and to do chores so I’m a bit all over the place. Went to the post office today to return a dress for my mom because I won’t let her go, all stood 6 feet apart and I feel scared to breathe in public now. It’s so bad in NY and the Daily Podcast is scaring me. 

4/1 - Work has been stressful because of the Schoology outages because everyone is doing school on Schoology now. Went to Deccico’s at lunch to do a big grocery shopping (we are trying to limit grocery store to once max twice per week since it’s unsafe to go). I wore a t-shirt as a bandana to cover my mouth, tried to keep sunglasses on, and wore a glove on my right hand (left hand was for my phone to see the shopping list). The line was wrapped around the entire corner and I ended up waiting 45 minutes. You have to be really careful to stand at least 6 feet behind the person in front of you. It was a bit overwhelming because we had such a long shopping list (also doing groceries for my mom), and they were out of a lot. I couldn’t find bread, orange juice, turkey, etc. Also have not seen lysol wipes in weeks. Unfortunately. I ended up being gone for an hour and a half and couldn’t even finish the shopping. Went to Stop & Shop after to finish the list. No one is going to Stop & Shop because they aren’t doing as good of a job with cleanliness protocol so it’s far less crowded. Under isolation I am 1) becoming a chef with Eric, we are cooking so much! 2) working out a lot and incorporating more floor workouts and strength training 3) drinking almost daily… 4) eating A LOT!!!!! Getting fit + gaining weight at the same time. Today was Greg Lesser’s birthday, so we had socially distant drinks on our lawn, I have a funny picture of all of us sitting that I’ll post above. During the happy hour, Caitlin Casey wanted to use our bathroom so she stepped inside, we deliberated if it was okay. I was too close to the door when she opened it and she alarmingly stepped back, no one gets that close anymore. Winnie turned 9 months today. A few other notes: our Election Primary has been moved to end of June. I will have to likely cancel my bachelorette party. Schoology already closed our office through April 30, with optional WFH through May 31st. I interviewed Hong Kong American School tonight, as they’ve been remote for months. They almost went back to school but when folks came back to China they brought COVID19 with them so now they are back to isolation. 

4/6 - We decided to stop going over to Eric’s family’s house because it’s making us anxious and there are four of them and Eric’s mom is still going to the hospital. I got an actual mask and have started wearing it to the store and I feel a lot more safe. It was a beautiful day today, 62 and sunny. I went to my mom’s house and worked from her patio. Then I went on a distanced walk with Winnie and Shanni and then Winnie and Caroline. I’m getting used to working fully remote, I can’t even imagine commuting in at this point.

4/7 - Here are a few things I’m grateful for during this time. Eric, a supportive and loving partner. We get along so well and find a great balance between hanging out together and being independent, so we haven’t been sick of each other at all. Our spacious apartment and easy access to green space and outdoors and running paths. Winnie, truly the love of our life, she is just a saint and we can’t imagine life without her. And the fact that we have a “home gym” ie Peloton, exercise mat, and weights. These four things make this experience far more manageable. And of course the fact that we are both still employed and that our families are still healthy.

4/11 - Went on a walk with friends in LeatherStocking Trail in Larchmont. Was a bit crowded and narrow which wasn’t good. We ran into a random boy from our high school who immediately picked up Winnie. (We aren’t letting people pet Winnie due to Corona but I didn’t act quick enough to stop it). Anyway, turns out his brother who he LIVES with has Corona. Which means he probably has it too. And he was out on a walk not social distancing and PET MY DOG!!! I was absolutely livid. 

4/15 - Cuomo requires all people wear masks in public in NYC. Cuomo says likely that there will be no large gatherings through the summer. Very sad about the wedding. Colleges are making online learning plans for the fall just incase.

4/28 - Silver lining of quarantine: I get to hear Eric’s work, not just his teaching but his deanship how eloquently and professionally he handles parent conversations, managing faculty that’s older than he is, and student situations. He is currently leading a parent forum book discussion on the book White Fragility on race and whiteness

[allbestnet]

1,013 Ideas

1) anxiety coach 2) A way for software developers to donate their time to charity 3) A place for rich people to send their kids so they get humbled before they go to college 4) an actual business that you pay to go into and beat the crap out of stuff like old cars 5) Twitter, except it's anonymous, and you can share all you secrets 6) A website that you subscribe to and it sends you a personalized motivational text every morning 7) You know those photo frames that are digital? Instead of photos they can display motivational photos or quotes. 8) A website like linkedin, except a company pays you to work for them for two weeks with the option of extending to full-time. 9) An alarm clock that calls your ex if you don't get up. Or picks a random photo in your phone and sends it to your parents. 10) An aquarium desktop background. But seriously nowadays we can do better. We can improve it to make it awesome again! 11) Coffee shop where they bring the coffee and pastries to your table. No tips required 12) A heavy coat with a hawaiian shirt pattern 13) A website where you input what kind of bread you want, like banana pumpkin bread, and they custom make it and ship it to you. Then there's a voting system where the most popular breads get voted to the top and are mass produced. 14) caricatures on demand 15) In-n-out sauce mass produced and sold in grocery stores 16) A coffee shop that's just a window 17) Personal coaching should be more like... utilized 18) Soda that gets you drunk 19) A coffee shop... ON A ROOF! 20) Robot horses for Central Park. 21) An alarm clock that's actually a light that simulates the sunrise. I know they already invented that. 22) A cuff that goes on your arm and vibrates when it's time to wake up. Would be good for people who sleep with ear plugs or don't want to wake other people up. 23) Windows that let air in when they're closed. I have no idea if that could actually work. 24) Handicap parking spots have little chips in them that connect to a chip under a handicap car... if it doesn't detect a chip in the car it gives you a ticket. 25) Plants you can buy and you water them with a special water that makes them turn colors like blue. 26) Chia pet wigs. 27) All cops should have body cams by now 28) Stolen from reddit: water cups that dissolve when in contact with sugar/soda. 29) A website that takes random words from the dictionary then arranges them to make crazy ideas with the click of a button. 30) A sock washer. I always feel like the bottoms of my socks get dirty. I wish I could find a way to make them white again. 31) A cross between James Altucher's iii:am and Lynda (online programming tutorials). 32) Bookstore like workshop cafe. You go in, can read any books you want and pay by the hour. Plus comfy chairs and soothing quiet music in the background. 33) A board game designed specifically for when your power goes out. 34) Wallets made out of the fabric of old couches. Do they need to be waterproof? 35) A combination between a coffee shop and a bookstore. Also steal from that workshop cafe idea I posted earlier. 36) An amusement park that only serves super healthy food. 37) A flag that stays up even when it's not windy. 38) Blinds that are vertical so dust doesn't collect on them. 39) A VC bank for average people that have good ideas. 40) An airplane company that has live entertainment on the plane. Like Macbeth. 41) Uber for commuting. 42) A robot that walks your dogs. Or even an on demand service that walks your dogs for you. Uber for dogs. Am I doing Uber overkill here? 43) Startup houses that are run by professionals and kept clean and cheap 44) A way of sharing HBO with people that is legal 45) A really cheap service that you can use to send flowers to people. Not like a bouquet, just a single flower. Just to let them know you're thinking of them. 46) Handheld laptop bags. Because when you wear a backpack or a strapped case it makes you sweaty in hot weather. 47) Sleeping mask but for your ears. OKAY, I KNOW EARPLUGS EXIST. But there's gotta be a better way and more comfortable way of keeping the outside quiet when you're trying to sleep. 48) Glasses that act as a flashlight but don't have any glare. So you can read your book in the dark but it doesn't hurt your eyes or irritate/ wake up other people. 49) What ever happened to those ion cleaner weird air fan things? Are the ions still killing me? Do I need to buy one? 50) Crowdfunding for homeless people 51) Uber except they send people to take care of you when you're sick. Okay, that's enough Uber. 52) Headphones that don't actually play music, they just act like ear plugs that you can wear when you're sleeping. 53) A restaurant where you can taste like a little bit of every entree instead of looking at a menu, then pick the one you want to have a full meal of. 54) A fake cover for a PC that makes it look like a mac 55) An app where people walking by your house can be notified about who you are if you feel like socializing and just kind of meet strangers on the fly. It sounds unsafe but some kinks could probably be worked out 56) A whiteboard/chalkboard with no residue. IS IT POSSIBLE? 57) Soles of your shoe that are resistant to sticky substances like gum 58) A way to give your phone charge to your computer and vice versa 59) A service that cleans your shoes. Seriously, how do you clean regular shoes. I don't understand. Do you just throw them in the washer? 60) Okay, okay, the last uber one. An uber app where you can call a car to come and pick up your food and unused supplies, clothing, etc to donate them to charity. 61) A notebook that you write into that immediately digitizes your notes and sends them to your computer. 62) Something that looks like a book but can change depending on what book you program into it. Like those newspapers in Harry Potter. 63) A bar right next to a baseball/football stadium where you can down a bunch of cheap drinks before you go to the game. 64) Nutritional trail mix. Like it has vitamins and minerals in it. And electrolytes. 65) VR headset that stimulates your dreams while you sleep. 66) You know the facebook poke button? A way to do that with your professional contacts if you just want to check in with them. Well, I mean you can already do that by giving them a call or a text but like, maybe something simpler than that. 67) A way to relieve the annoyance of automated robot phone systems. 68) Cough or cold medicine with caffeine in it. 69) Dorms for software developers in San Francisco. Would make living a lot cheaper. And without the meal plans of course. 70) Alternative college that you only go to for two years but is designed to get you a serious grown up job like engineer or doctor etc 71) A communal dishwasher that makes it easier to deal with. 72) Pets for mental health relief. I mean they already made that but like, that counts as an idea. 73) Bubbles you can eat. Like you blow the bubbles, then you can put them in your mouth and they taste good. No calories either. 74) Digital paintings. 75) A kind of residue/resin you can put on wood that's started to splinter. So it will smooth it out without making the wood look crappy. 76) You know how a lot of buildings in the city have shitty ceilings? Like, linoleum for ceilings. 77) Rubber couch 78) Fire alarm that attaches to your clothes. So you can have a fire alarm even in a place that doesn't have it installed. Or maybe for your car. 79) An app that connects to your facebook and lets you anonymously give people feedback. Like, just general feedback. 80) Gag popcorn that looks like it's made out of asbestos. 81) Not really a new idea, but someone should make earmuffs popular again. 82) Neon lights for your car. 83) Sunglasses where you click a button and it blacks them out, so you can take a nap. 84) Manila folders that aren't manila colored! 85) American flag socks. Well, actually american flag anything. 86) A chair that can fit in your backpack. 87) Decorative woven cotton wire covers 88) Leather socks 89) A way to efficiently access your computer through your phone. Like kind of like Teamviewer, except it would be optimized so there would be no issues using a touch screen instead of clicking. 90) Something as small as a credit card that you can stick in your wallet but it charges your phone. Like it just gives you maybe 20% but it's for emergencies and you would always carry it with you. 91) Company recruiting service that lets you spend a whole work day with an employee instead of interviewing etc. 92) Electronic whiteboard 93) Toe covers that protect your toes from getting blisters. 94) A service that you can use to pay people (any people) to answer questions. Like if I wanted to ask what it was like to work at Google, I could pay a Google employee through their website and they would answer any of my questions. 95) Hand sanitizer dispensers in subways 96) Something that you spray on your feet at the end of the day that makes them not smell. 97) A coffee shop that charges a monthly fee and you can stop by whenever to grab coffee. Most likely it would be on an honor system where you would only go a max of two times per day. God knows how many times some people would go to get unlimited coffee. 98) A service like thinkful or hack hands where engineers give advice to amateur engineers. Except this service would be like hack hands except for foreign language students to ask questions of native speakers or language teachers. 99) Eraseable sharpie 100) An app that grabs every contact from every social network and compiles them into like a universal contact book. Because right now in the apple contact app you have to like manually put everything in. Even if you integrate facebook sometimes it can make it all messed up and ugly. 101) Cup holders made of sandpaper 102) Skin colored tiny band aids that you put on your face to stop yourself from picking zits 103) Cologne that doubles as a bug repellant 104) Eye contacts that have instagram filters 105) Shirts that change color depending on the temperature 106) Shirts that change color when they get wet. Maybe not great if you're sweating. Or maybe awesome? 107) Holographic home decorations so you don't have to buy a ton of shit from Crate & Barrel or Pier Imports or whatever 108) Headphones that are inside a beanie 109) Gloves that make your hands stick to a wall and you can climb them like a spider. Defective ones would probably make people die though... 110) Vertical ironing board 111) Coffee pills that you put in regular water and it magically turns to coffee that doesn't taste like dirt 112) Upside down showers 113) Shoes that you put on and they automagically massage your feet. 114) A site where you put in your desired salary and your employer puts in their desired salary for you and the site does the negotiating for you! 115) Apple should make computers with different fruits on them. 116) A backpack that goes on your front. A frontpack. I guess they already do that though for tourists in countries where people like to steal stuff out of your backpack. 117) Bring fanny packs back! 118) Flexible water bottles. Like made out of... rubber or something. So they don't make a lot of noise 119) Pumpkins that you can carve but they don't rot. GMO?? 120) Soundproof bathrooms 121) A visual representation of a github repo over time 122) Mosquito repellant cologne. Wait, did I already do that? Oops. Still counts this time. 123) Mosquito repellant breath mints 124) Detergent gel 125) Chairs that recline so you can lay down 126) A device that lets you lie down in supine position and still type on your computer or read a book or whatever 127) An iphone case that holds gum 128) Liquid nitrogen for mosquito bites to make them not itch. Not sure if that's dangerous. Lots of dangerous ideas today. 129) Sharpie that you can spray 130) Refrigerator stickers for your car 131) Reusable tissues 132) Solar panels for the moon 133) Underwater solar panels in the ocean 134) CSI video game 135) IRC app for iphone/android 136) modern version of usenet 137) chapstick for your elbows 138) automatic head scratcher machine 139) a better way of washing clothes than washing machine and dryer. like a steamer or something 140) sunglasses with shutter lenses 141) anti acid reflux soda 142) garbage collecting drones 143) garbage collecting rc cars 144) rc cars that adults can ride on. remember those hummers they made for kids? 145) A clock with like six hands that has three different time zones 146) bean bags literally filled with beans 147) one of those sleeping cds filled with passing car sounds at night 148) A way to transfer charge between your phone and your laptop 149) A book that has two books, like on every left page is one book and every right page is the other 150) soylent that doesnt taste like crushed oatmeal shake 151) keyboards that are shaped to fit in your lap 152) headphones that are made of rubber 153) a personal blog directory that you can easily browse through 154) blockbuster for books. IT IS DIFFERENT FROM A LIBRARY in that they carry the most recent and popular titles, and that is why you pay to rent them out. or unlimited for a monthly fee like netflix 155) a less acidic version of coffee. like odulles for coffee. 156) an app that you give your location, then it matches you with the nearest, cheapest, highest quality doctor for your specific case. it takes the hassle out of scheduling doctor appointments, especially in new cities etc 157) khan academy for art 158) computer monitors that look like the kindle screens 159) electronic whiteboards 160) cigs/cigars that make colorful smoke. Probably could also work for e-cigs 161) an automatic machine that thinks of ideas for you 162) cruise ships for people that are almost dead 163) i hate zits 164) Furniture rental 165) electric mop 166) biking shoes that light up 167) powdered sugar lollipops 168) sweatshirt for your legs 169) shoes that float 170) subways should have hand sanitizer dispensers 171) blogging website where you dictate your blog post and it will convert it to text for you 172) caffeine injections 173) mouses for tablets - I think the correct word is mice, the electronic ones 174) wood shoes 175) back pocket on your sweatshirt that holds a laptop like a kangaroo pouch 176) aluminum shirts 177) a sound monitor for your house that lets you know if someone broke in 178) concerts on twitch.tv 179) flip flops with covers just so you don't get the wind chill on your toes. like slippers but they can be taken seriously 180) pets for your pets 181) some pill that reduces the effect of caffeine 182) slippers that vibrate and heat up 183) socks that change color depending on the temperature 184) airbnb except the host also gives you a tour around their city. would prob cost a lot more 185) sheets that stick to your clothes so they never come off at night 186) pillows that clean themselves 187) doors not made of wood 188) sweatshirts that have optional gloves. like theyre attached but theres a way of hiding them if you don't want to wear them 189) keyboards made of wood 190) wireless earbuds for when you run 191) Backpack that has an umbrella attached to the top so it protects you from the sun and rain 192) gum that is made to be swallowed 193) Clothes dyeing service or better yet, a free service by fashion students to spice up your old clothes 194) ipads with screens that you can write on with expo markers 195) transparent shoes 196) hollow lightbulbs 197) gum that doesn't stick to stuff so students can't stick it under their desk or on the bus 198) books sold with a pair of ear plugs 199) shoes that double as vacuum cleaners. or swiffers 200) jeans with built in suspenders that go under your shirt 201) robot cats 202) a real pumpkin filled with the ingredients you need to make pumpkin pie 203) fruity coffee 204) chocolate covered coffee beans 205) coffee covered chocolate beans 206) glove dispensers on the muni 207) inside out bagels 208) knife except the end is blunt so you can't stab anyone with it 209) uber for laundry 210) coffee based on alcoholic drinks 211) vacuum sealed fruits 212) rubber wrist watch 213) keyboards made of the lava lamp stuff 214) tie dye shoes 215) tie dye hats 216) subway sandwiches that look like a subway car 217) books that stay open 218) built in stand in laptop 219) rolling beanbag 220) edible fake money 221) flavored musical instruments 222) a clothing store where you pay a monthly fee and you can wear whatever they have 223) mesh socks 224) mesh beanie. wait, isn't that a hairnet? 225) roll on cologne 226) a running shoe/dress shoe hybrid 227) shoes coated in teflon 228) luggage that has that hole thing in it that you attach your vacuum to and it vacuum seals it 229) earbuds covered in velvet 230) water guns that shoot glow in the dark water 231) pumpkin pie that is shaped like a pumpkin 232) beard shampoo 233) sweatpants that hide your sweat like dri fit 234) running shoes for adults that light up. would be esp good for night running 235) exercise classes specifically for programmers 236) a refrigerator backpack 237) a bandaid designed specifically for paper cuts to make them hurt less 238) a website where you make a post about yourself and other people decide what the best career for you is 239) a website where you can web chat with a lawyer for a flat rate 240) colorful cola 241) sweatshirts with hoodies that have headphones in them. but you can remove them when you need to wash them 242) spandex sweatshirts 243) inflatable shoes 244) backpacks that have built in phone chargers 245) cough syrup except it's not for a cough its for a headache. so headache syrup 246) an online record player 247) virtual reality basketball 248) chairs that you can sit sideways in 249) robot that automatically cuts your hair 250) something safer than q tips for cleaning ears 251) insider guides for tourists to feel like a native 252) mental hospitals designed specifically for homeless people 253) carpet for ceilings and walls 254) 10c surcharge for disposable cups at starbucks 255) an app that shows where the homeless people are in san francisco 256) an app that shows in real time where the densest traffic is in the city 257) speakers in shoes 258) jeans that are khaki colored 259) gum that biodegrades quickly 260) glass coffee cups 261) an app that translates a TOS (terms of service) into plain english 262) A vodka or champagne bottle that looks like a fire extinguisher 263) headphones inside a bicycle or motorcycle helmet 264) biodegradable diapers 265) shoes with gold bottoms 266) polyester socks 267) automatic hair braider machine 268) automatic condom making machine 269) digital whistle 270) rubber headphone covers so they don't fall out of your ears 271) cronuts that don't taste like shit 272) fetty wap voice modulizer app 273) books made out of edible paper 274) water cups that have fake holes in them 275) jeans that have a bunch of jeans on them. like a decorative pattern so they're like jean jeans 276) jeans that say billy. billy jeans 277) coffee popsicles 278) walnut milk 279) coconut pizza 280) stickers that you put on your nails instead of nail polish 281) Portable microwave 282) Illegal immigrants are granted citizenship after working and paying taxes for a period of time 283) Camera in your shoe 284) Digital paintings 285) Shirts that have paintings on them by freelance artists. Like a site sells them from different artists for a reasonable price. 286) Flying trash can drones 287) A service that comes to your house for like $5 and gets rid of all the things you don't want 288) Uber for cleaning ladies 289) Painting on a large flat rock that you can put on your wall 290) A watch made out of glass. Or something that looks similar to glass but doesn't break as easily. 291) an app called payback where you pay people to get your revenge. like, in a civil way 292) James brown soundboard or voicemail message generator 293) tripod for your phone 294) remote karate lessons via webcam 295) a millisecond timer 296) a reverse doorknob 297) you know those things that you crack and they warm up? use that stuff to warm your food 298) hair gel for places other than your head 299) an app that delivers a party to you! 300) online flannel shirt generator 301) rimshot app or a website where you click a button to make a rimshot 302) an app where you say a catchphrase and it tells you where its from 303) instead of those mug huggers that keep you from burning your hand on your coffee use a recycled sock 304) an app that plays ocean sounds until it detects you've gone to sleep then it turns off your phone 305) hot iced tea 306) snapple made out of apples 307) hollowed out fruits as drink cups 308) edible plates 309) edible napkins 310) vegetable cookies 311) send a letter to someone famous and ask their advice 312) pizza with the toppings under the cheese 313) pizza with toppings in the crust 314) post-its that are sticky on both sides 315) airbnb for office space 316) sweatshirts that zip up on the back 317) shoes that you zip instead of tie 318) bubble gum flavored mints 319) aa batteries that you can plug in 320) flip flops made of recycled shoes 321) carbonated water infused with fruit juice 322) edible post it notes 323) service that intentionally paints your car like a taxi 324) cardboard clothes for homeless people (cardboard couture?) 325) candles that smell like good food 326) food that smells like candles 327) coffee slurpee 328) shoes made out of recycled corn husks 329) popcorn except it's made out of something else that pops... 330) a device that attaches to your waist and holds a book in front of your face so you don't have to strain your neck 331) tea pods that you drop in hot water instead of tea bags. they dissolve so you don't have to try to fish out the tea bag and throw it away 332) carbonated spirits 333) elastic belts 334) GMO potatoes that taste like a seasoned baked potato 335) popsicles that look like politicians 336) an apartment complex specifically designed for community living. like campus, except not a failed startup. improve on whatever made them fail - it looks like aiming for the high end market was an issue 337) champagne flavored orange juice. except it's non alcoholic like odulles and super cheap. so you can start every morning feeling like the 1% 338) orange flavored latte 339) pumpkin flavored ice cream 340) banana soda 341) bahn mi grilled cheese 342) Water bottles made of rubber 343) College designed for one specific job 344) job sponsored toastmasters 345) Refugee island 346) Shrink wrap for food 347) Busses for rich people 348) Scented tissues 349) Battery powered skateboards 350) Paper shoes 351) water balloons filled with cleaning liquid so cleaning your house is more fun 352) Fantasy football except it generates fake footage of all your players together 353) trash cans that have a pipe at the bottom automatically sending everything to a reservoir 354) coffee delivery service 355) ice cream delivery service 356) ice cream with coffee bean chunks in it 357) ice cubes made of coffee 358) An internship that takes place in a new country every month 359) A calculator that understands plain english (voice) 360) coffee flavored bubble gum 361) legal pads that have a different color for every page 362) carbonated ice cubes 363) carbonated ice cream 364) sprite float 365) mesh sunglasses cover 366) coffee straws 367) aluminum sunglass frames 368) washing machine that depills clothes 369) jean short shorts 370) jean hat 371) shortbread shaped like shorts 372) a cafe designed for business meetings and catching up with friends, so like it's soundproofed maybe? 373) a service that connects dogs that need to be walked with obese people who need to walk 374) rainbow taxis 375) rainbow hair dye 376) incense deodorant/cologne 377) sweatpants that look like jeans 378) an apartment complex with a subsidized grocery store built into it 379) you know how they have food co-ops? how about a school/education co-op. 380) an island for homeless people 381) air freshener that fits in your pocket 382) uber designed to take you from public transport destination straight to your doorstop for pennies 383) chairs that you buy at the store and can easily decorate them yourself 384) a service where if you're having a bad day you can borrow a shelter dog 385) microwaveable raw pasta 386) pasta sauce with 24k gold flakes in it 387) heels that have invisible filling so it doesn't feel like you're walking in heels 388) startup pitch generator website 389) a service where you pay someone to go to a conference then pretends to be you and networks with people 390) coffee with vitamins 391) news articles on water bottles 392) digital posters 393) a frame on your wall that uploads the front page of new york times every morning 394) orange socks 395) socks that smell like oranges 396) mugs with built in straws 397) an alarm that rings a few times a day reminding you what your priorities are 398) frappucino without sugar and maybe add protein 399) protein water 400) edible newspaper 401) brown paper bags that aren't brown 402) spaghetti made of bread 403) baked ice cream 404) public cubbies in the city 405) bike stealer vigilante service 406) ceiling fans that spin vertically 407) gyms that pay you to go 408) windows that clean themselves 409) skateboards that run on gasoline 410) adopt a rapper program 411) a gym that gives you a monthly discount based on your bmi 412) aluminum foil pants 413) night vision goggles for truck drivers 414) an app that explains all the currently trending hashtags on twitter 415) flowers that grow in reverse 416) suits made out of nike dri-fit 417) shoes designed to be put in the washing machine without breaking their form 418) take out boxes made out of thick rice paper 419) milkshakes with artificial sweetener 420) in honor of 420 - marijuana milkshakes 421) coffee mugs that are made out of recycled coffee plants 422) a backscratching blanket that you can lay on 423) peanuts that taste like other nuts 424) alcoholic protein shakes 425) a curvy iphone called a jphone 426) odulles for vodka 427) peanut butter jelly quesadilla 428) GMO apples with caramel flavor in it 429) the talking trout thing that you can attach to the front of your car 430) Indian sushi 431) a service where you talk to someone on the phone about your job goals and life and they make a resume for you in less than 30 minutes. 432) a restaurant where they give you the recipe for whatever you order when you're done eating 433) chair that sits on a roomba so it can drive you around 434) free weight loss program where they send you to the desert and you have to find your way back 435) every guy spends a significant amount of their life shaving. we need shave consultants to make shaving as pleasant of an experience as possible 436) shoes that have tv screens on them 437) sugar-ed pretzels 438) head wax for balding people 439) beard donation for the less fortunate 440) concrete rings 441) carbonated milk 442) root beer ice cream 443) talking trash cans that compliment you when you put something in it 444) neck warmers for giraffes 445) whiteboards that are black 446) books made of kelp 447) a phone and wallet hybrid 448) gum flavored food 449) food flavored gum 450) elevators that have quick exercise machines in them 451) peanuts with extra protein 452) chocolate covered peanuts 453) peanut reeses 454) beard softener cream 455) coconut covered almonds 456) running shoes that are covered in reflective material 457) socks that are covered in reflective material 458) chewing gum that has vitamins or caffeine in it 459) hats with reflective tape on them 460) whiteboard markers that smell like fruit 461) crowdsourced maps that says where people go the most often or fav places 462) carbonated coffee 463) bars that have a section for underage people where they have odulles 464) a starbucks inside a starbucks 465) iphones that run android 466) cars that have glow in the dark wheels 467) concrete shoes 468) spotify for movies 469) uber for haircuts 470) diet chocolate 471) savory soda 472) shower that heats up the rest of the room so when you get out you're still warm 473) warm floor tiles 474) vegan fried chicken 475) nair branded for mens faces 476) shoes that are made to last a lifetime 477) ipads for mute people to help them talk 478) t shirts with turtle necks 479) chewing gum that has an appetite suppressant 480) home milkshake maker 481) sock dryer for when it rains and you get wet socks 482) hydrophobic socks 483) spicy pancakes, maybe pumpkin 484) reeses lollipops 485) chewy gummy lollipops 486) virtual job interview service 487) a fancy pants restaurant that only serves breakfast 488) a service where you switch jobs with someone in the same industry across the world for 3 months 489) waterproof running shoes 490) disposable umbrellas 491) tinder for food 492) app to post ideas that drunk people have 493) an app that connects drunk or high people with enterpreneurs to give them ideas 494) live stream karaoke 495) free boats for homeless people 496) yelp for barbers 497) live streaming for drunk people 498) tinder for biceps 499) uber for coffee 500) bring back the dinosaurs 501) messaging for github 502) popsicle delivery on a hot day. like it's a government funded charity to make the city happy 503) github AI detector to automatically solve merge issues 504) a chrome extension that adds a chatroom to every page on the internet 505) a website that you put a bunch of ideas into and it tells you objectively the best idea 506) a website where drunk people can entertain people for money 507) a phone cover that changes color depending on heat 508) a mood ring that tightens whenever you get angry 509) an anonymous essay writing platform 510) twitter for poetry 511) locks for your bagel bags to stop bagel thieves 512) anonymous polling service for college lectures 513) a cover for your phone that displays the date and time on the back 514) uber for homeless people 515) airbnb for pets 516) blogging platform for kids 517) cookies with fruit in them 518) fruitcake for the whole year round 519) brownie lollipops like cake pops 520) interactive vim tutorial in browser 521) free programming classes at libraries 522) vegetable flavored candy 523) grape on a stick 524) liquid graphite pens 525) cameras in your home that determine your pet's mood when you leave 526) a city where cars drive above ground but all the sidewalks are below ground 527) a blog platform specifically made for people trying to lose weight 528) an IDE that has real time chat with team members or people who are working on similar projects 529) a reality show that puts a bunch of drug using rock stars in a convent 530) instagram for programmers 531) aws tutorial for total beginners 532) justin bieber website that shows the progression of his music over time 533) blogs that you can only view if you're near the location they were posted 534) charity that gives domain names to promising web developers in 3rd world countries 535) service that hooks up a college freshman with a senior for a whole year and helps them get adjusted 536) beer that has protein 537) beer that gets you drunk but only on friday and saturday nights 538) tinder for homeless people 539) concert livestreams 540) tour bus livestreams for musicians (possibly on twitch.tv) 541) community lounge sponsored by cities (i.e. taxpayer money) 542) a school where you study in a different country for every semester 543) social workers that live in the projects 544) art gallery for kids under 5 years old 545) an app where you let other people listen to whatever you are listening to within a 1 mi radius 546) a dating website that matches you based on things you hate 547) a robot car that picks you up from an airport in a foreign city and generates a list of touristy things to do then takes you to each one 548) High heels with rubber heels 549) pool with a glass bottom on the second floor of a house 550) electronic pool table where everything is virtual 551) neck pad to prevent neck pain while using the computer 552) neck warmer that is literally a cat 553) justin bieber action figure 554) bill cosby pudding pops (not sure if they will sell very good now) 555) messaging platform for github 556) hacker news chatroom 557) a website that calculates how long until you die / how long you've been alive 558) league of legends in real life 559) headphones that are 100% biodegradable 560) gum that tastes like italian food 561) earplugs that are sticky so they stay in your ear 562) website that integrates with facebook and makes a graph visualization with your social network 563) watch that vibrates depending on your mood 564) food that freshens your breath after you're finished eating it 565) watch that tells you it's time to get a watch 566) rainbow deodorant 567) deodorant that smells like food 568) edible highlighter 569) TAs for your life 570) shoes that are gum resistant 571) glasses that track your eye movements all day 572) wireless computer charger 573) jacket made out of a blanket 574) computer chair that supports your neck 575) tylenol that has ambien in it 576) fig newton without figs 577) animated curtains 578) air conditioner that puts fresh smells in the air 579) headphones with a cup holder 580) professional quote maker manual 581) gum that doesn't stick to surfaces like under desk, sidewalks, etc. 582) holographic newspaper ads 583) bring back the pet rock 584) healthy jamba juice. Like Suja but made fresh and cheaper. 585) fruit flavored cola 586) savory soda 587) nylon jackets that don't make crinkly noises 588) computer that tracks your face and automatically tilts the screen to reduce neck strain 589) wallet made out of carpet 590) waterproof carpet 591) watch that can switch between analog and digital 592) jeans made out of cashmere 593) lotion for your hair 594) sponges that are infused with soap 595) jackets that keep you cold instead of hot 596) hot ice cubes. like not made of ice but it keeps your drink hot 597) book that tells a different story if you start reading from the back 598) alarm clock that yells at you instead of ringing 599) blog website for pets 600) lollipops that contain vitamins - for kids 601) apple watch that detects your mood when running and plays music accordingly 602) athletic shoes that automatically cool off your feet 603) waterproof socks 604) reflective socks 605) antibacterial tissues 606) salsa for foods that are not mexican 607) water bottle that is compostable 608) rent a shelter dog service 609) sunglasses that absorb sunlight and converts it to energy 610) sunglasses that change color depending on the intensity of light 611) eraser that whitens after it erases 612) community office space paid for by the city 613) free coffee for monthly muni/bart pass holders 614) flash drive that also can project images 615) electronic water bottle that cools down its contents 616) iphone case that turns red when your phone is overheating 617) magazine about magazines 618) headphones combined with earmuffs 619) beanie that keeps your head cool but blocks noise, mainly for use while you sleep maybe you can pull it over your eyes too to block out light 620) hair salon that gives you a surprise haircut every time 621) tie dye water glasses 622) water bottles with text that changes color indicating temperature 623) pencil eraser that makes your paper smell good 624) thot radar 625) headphones that amplify noise outside them 626) office chairs with seat warmers 627) office chairs with seat coolers 628) windbreaker that doesn't make crinkly noises 629) shower phone 630) a combination between wine and beer 631) spaghetti sauce with vitamins 632) digital magic 8 ball 633) electric bicycle 634) book where each chapter is a shortened version of a classic book 635) app to find the nearest public toilet 636) app to find where really nice cars are driving around 637) tv channel that just has audiobooks on 24/7 638) flavored rain 639) pumpkin spice almonds 640) blogging platform for charities 641) portable vinyl player 642) jacket made of hair 643) bus that has a bar in it 644) kindle that has the texture of a book cover 645) stickers that light up 646) beanie with a built in heater 647) breadsticks with marinara sauce inside them 648) inside out pizza 649) jean socks 650) exit signs that have built in fire & carbon monoxide detectors 651) a boat inside a boat 652) office chairs that massage your back while you work 653) sharpies that aren't permanent 654) public trash cans that automatically compact themselves 655) licorice flavored lollipop 656) savory churro 657) a guide to saving money written by a gangster 658) permanent expo markers 659) hand sanitizer that doesn't smell like alcohol 660) fetty wap voice modulator app 661) a restaurant that only sells mac and cheese 662) backpacks for pets 663) peanut butter and jelly breadsticks 664) bread that's fortified with protein 665) waterproof jeans 666) transparent jackets 667) movie theater where everyone has to share a free giant bucket of popcorn 668) digital stop signs 669) baguette with fruit baked in 670) painting where the center is blank but the art is on the frame 671) soylent for pets 672) stickers you can put on your zits 673) socks that light up like a christmas tree 674) weight scale that shows you a motivational message every time you step on it 675) get paid to translate foreign text and learn a language at the same time 676) protein bars that are made of fruit (like a lara bar) 677) TVs with personality 678) jacket with gloves that you can wear or hide in the sleeves 679) vine for musicians 680) alarm clock that punches you in the face when it's time to get up 681) burrito filled with chinese food (e.g. orange chicken) 682) protein bar that tastes like mint chocolate chip ice cream 683) pita chips that are sour cream & onion flavored 684) savory soda 685) dessert nachos 686) waterproof baseball cap 687) shoes that tie themselves 688) post-it notes that smell good 689) colorful plastic water bottles 690) a laundry machine that you can play video games on while you're waiting 691) tissues that change color when they're used 692) headphones that massage your ears 693) turtlenecks for exercise 694) jean underwear 695) lightbulbs that change color when they need to be replaced 696) napkins that you can put in the dishwasher 697) gloves that cover your fingers but not your palms 698) vegetables that taste like fruit 699) fruit lasagna/dessert lasagna 700) all rubber wristwatch 701) protein water 702) glow in the dark whiteboards 703) febreeze bidet 704) drones that fly lunch to your office 705) backpacks that go on your front (frontpacks) 706) jackets that button up on the back 707) self buttoning/zipping jacket 708) robot pets 709) bao burger 710) dog therapist 711) pre-seasoned rice 712) rice with protein 713) dinner cereal 714) shoes for your hands 715) glow in the dark jackets 716) sunglasses for sports 717) ceiling fan that periodically sprays air freshener 718) battery powered skateboards 719) toothpaste that you can swallow 720) mouthwash that comes in ketchup packs (portable) 721) diet ice cream 722) pie made out of whipped cream 723) polyester dress shirts 724) waterproof beanie 725) socks for your ears 726) vanilla brownies (whities/honkies) 727) square water bottles 728) tinder for racists 729) doorknobs that sanitize themselves 730) headphones that double as ear muffs 731) water bottles made of glass 732) headphones made of glass 733) sunscreen bar like a soap bar 734) double sided monitor 735) chest hair comb 736) coffee cup that you drink upside down 737) keyboard that emits smells 738) gym for only fat people 739) fast food restaurant that discounts if you're fat 740) bike that charges your phone when you ride it 741) backpack that you wear on your head 742) beanie that you throw in the freezer and it cools your head 743) soundproof tent that you can take anywhere when you need some quiet 744) a book on how to write a book 745) shoes for dogs 746) glow in the dark pillows 747) pool table with hologram pool balls 748) beard wax 749) pain reliever soda 750) stress ball that talks back to you 751) subway for burritos 752) portable coffee mug that holds milk and sugar in the top 753) shoes that tie in the back 754) highlighters that are multiple colors 755) shirt with one long sleeve and one short sleeve 756) sushi with french fries in it 757) pickled fruit 758) nylon running gloves 759) edible christmas ornaments 760) headphones that turn into earbuds 761) vodka bottles shaped like water bottles 762) backpack that has no pockets 763) hat that has pockets 764) floss that doesn't cut off circulation to your fingers 765) salted fruit 766) vegetables dipped in chocolate 767) glow in the dark phone case 768) water fountains at gyms that are filled with gatorade 769) toothbrush with accelerometer that tracks your brushing habits over time 770) coffee cup that changes color depending on the temperature of the coffee 771) coffee flavored tablets that melt in your mouth for when you're in a rush 772) t-shirt made out of newspaper (print, not actual paper) 773) two sided fork 774) cell phone and wallet combination 775) app that takes 1 cent off your transactions and donates it to charity 776) jeans that zip from behind 777) zip up running shoes 778) google maps that gives you directions based on the least amount of trash and other unsightly things 779) cordless earbuds 780) lollipop that freshens your breath 781) coffee for nighttime 782) chipotle for greek food 783) edible air freshener 784) sunglasses with side mirrors 785) steel toe running shoes 786) uber for garbage men 787) a book about books 788) sharpie that smells fruity 789) burrito with mac and cheese inside 790) colored contact lenses 791) dating app where you can only go out with a person if you've gone out with one of their friends 792) pineapple that smells like pine and tastes like apple 793) phone case that's edible 794) tortilla chips that taste like burrito 795) ear coolers 796) spray bottle that has breath freshener in it 797) headphones that vibrate 798) tylenol soda 799) breakfast sushi 800) rectangular water bottle 801) trash can that compliments you when you put trash in it 802) security cameras with smiley faces on them 803) air conditioner that warms up when you say turn up the heat and vice versa 804) microwave that warms up the room (and doesn't kill everyone) 805) rain jacket that gets warmer the wetter it gets 806) an autobiography generator - then again, I guess it would be a biography 807) socks that vibrate 808) deodorant for your under-areas 809) a car horn that plays a loud annoying guitar riff 810) a barber that gives you a book of haircuts to choose instead of just saying a little off the top etc 811) a music player that changes music depending on your pulse strength, rate, etc 812) a pill that quenches your thirst 813) hair gel that doubles as cologne 814) transparent cologne stickers that you can just stick on your skin 815) grilled carrots 816) burrito with african food 817) breakfast sushi 818) lightbulb that emits smells 819) a watch that literally tells you what time it is 820) a tie that ties itself 821) cereal bowl that separates the cereal and the milk 822) two sided spoon 823) spoon with a hole in it so it filters out the milk when you're eating cereal 824) coffee cup that keeps your coffee at the perfect drinking temperature 825) rainy weather shoes that have extra traction 826) office chairs that have neck and back massagers 827) wooden doorhandle 828) mirror that only reflects certain colors 829) reflective running shoes 830) tissues that smell good 831) pita chips that have hummus inside them 832) mexican food flavored lollipops 833) advil bottle that compliments you before you take some 834) baseball hat that has a football team on it 835) tabasco for desserts 836) spicy desserts in general 837) balloon filled with air freshener 838) reflective reading glasses 839) sushi with french fries inside 840) clothing line where every piece just has the name of the piece of clothing printed on it in big white letters 841) walnut brittle 842) sandals that you can wear in the rain 843) electric drum set 844) soda that's not carbonated 845) carbonated juice 846) clear lipstick 847) t shirt that changes colors every time it's washed 848) movie theatre for couples where each couple gets a private booth 849) edible action figures 850) umbrella hat, or just a waterproof hat 851) app that checks your happiness level on a scale of 1-10 throughout the day 852) weight loss coaching from your dog 853) water bottle with motivational words on them 854) an app that lets normal people carpool with food delivery runners 855) lightbulbs that get dimmer when they're about to die 856) luggage that gets picked up at your doorstep and gets sent to your destination 857) pre-toasted bread 858) bagels without the hole 859) socks with holes in the toes 860) a sock for your head 861) hair gel that colors your hair 862) hair gel that's edible 863) edible beanie babies 864) crystal light for food 865) water glass that's shaped like a water droplet 866) soda that tastes like water 867) socks that have built in toe warmers 868) socks that are waterproof 869) hearing aids that play music 870) frisbees for cats 871) netflix for music 872) netflix for cars 873) backpack that has a tv on the front 874) umbrella that is inverted 875) car boat hybrid 876) planes for the ocean 877) hat that has a clock on the front 878) church for atheists 879) self-warming pillow 880) haircut delivery 881) someone that comes to your house every morning and makes you coffee 882) hair salons that make your hair longer instead of shorter 883) self-cooling pillow 884) a hat that massages your head 885) different colored sunflowers 886) sugary sunflower seeds 887) instant coffee that doesn't taste like dirt 888) instant eggnog 889) uber for parties - they bring the party to you 890) tinder for things to do on lazy sundays 891) a site that recommends a book for you based on your mood 892) a sassy calendar app 893) vegetable juice that doesn't taste like vegetable juice 894) french fries made of something other than potato 895) leather umbrella 896) online dating for pets 897) online dating for pet owners but you can only see their pet photos not pictures of themselves 898) online dating except it's not dating you just use it to find chill friends to hang out with 899) poker except the winner gets to choose who has to permanently relocate to canada 900) artisanal fast food 901) beer that comes in gallon jugs 902) laundry detergent that smells like hot chocolate 903) airplanes where you lay down instead of sit in a chair 904) backpack with no straps... it just sticks to you 905) a chatroom exclusively for people who are having a headache 906) major league baseball except all the players are drunk 907) baseball hat that covers your ears 908) police officers that carry pool noodles instead of guns 909) cereal condiments 910) v necks... but for every letter in the alphabet 911) business incubator for restaurants 912) instant tea (powder instead of bags) 913) t shirt with a hood 914) denim socks 915) boxes not made out of cardboard 916) dating site that matches you based on what time you take a shower everyday 917) bicycle helmet with a flashlight on it 918) sunflower seeds with edible shells 919) anime for grandparents 920) a hat that has wifi 921) treadmill that dispenses a donut every 5K you run 922) dessert pasta 923) hawaii for cold weather 924) licorice that tastes fruity 925) twitter for toddlers 926) sausage company that teaches you german on the packaging 927) a magazine that gives you sparknotes on all the other magazines 928) cereal for lunch and dinner 929) scented socks 930) Amazon.com except you can only purchase things from the amazon rainforest 931) instead of food being delivered to you, you are delivered to the food 932) dessert popcorn 933) dipping popcorn 934) collared exercise shirts 935) dress clothes for exercising 936) a robot that you can argue with when you're stressed out 937) party foul police 938) mini golf, regular golf, and... huge golf 939) a bar called work. So you can say you're just going to work. 940) freelance cheerleaders that you can just hire for a day to cheer you on 941) coffee flavored candy 942) coffee flavored soda 943) blockbuster for household appliances 944) office chair that compliments you 945) getting married on a airline flight 946) stylish aprons for everyday wear 947) shoes for your hands 948) kale milkshake 949) americanized french fries 950) two sided iphone 951) beer in a plastic bottle 952) pretzels with sugar instead of salt 953) carbonated coffee 954) uber for baby deliveries/midwives 955) iced tea in capri-sun packets 956) paintings by dogs 957) pillows that vibrate 958) no bake brownies 959) benches that are made specifically for sleeping on 960) concrete trees 961) wigs for dogs 962) cold cocoa 963) sneeze stopper 964) cough blocker 965) nyquil lollipops 966) paintball except with delicious edible paint 967) indoor camping 968) diet s'mores 969) vibrating headphones 970) real gnomes 971) edible coffee mugs 972) chocolate dipped graham crackers 973) gummy bear that is the size of an actual bear 974) consultants for your life 975) sweet popcorn 976) flannel that is not plaid 977) funyun seasoning 978) vegetable chips 979) vegetable rings. like onion rings but for other vegetables 980) business jacket with a hoodie 981) palm tree garnish 982) coconut cereal 983) a bakery that doesn't sell bread 984) bread clothing 985) a train that you can ride for free if you dance the whole time 986) gym on a train 987) wallet made out of money 988) vegetarian chicken and waffles 989) trump wig 990) 4 wheeled bike 991) sparknotes for movies 992) chocolate snow cone 993) chocolate covered toast 994) ice cubes made out of frozen coffee 995) indian french fusion 996) grapefruit soda 997) combination between a grape and a grapefruit 998) edible books 999) vanilla brownies 1000) vanilla candy bar 1001) goodreads for movies 1002) dating website that matches you based on music interests 1003) headphones that you can sleep with 1004) TV that you can remote control to move it up, down, etc 1005) anonymous blogging platform 1006) e-cig that doesn't create vapor 1007) a site to connect unemployed people to volunteer opportunities 1008) jacket with ventilation holes 1009) running shoes covered in tarp to make them waterproof 1010) massaging office chairs 1011) post-its that are sticky on both sides 1012) TED talks hosted by criminals 1013) ramen dessert 1014) Kanye West virtual reality simulator 1015) crunchy gum 1016) microwave except instead of heating, it cools 1017) sushi -> replace rice with noodles 1018) vegetarian gelatin 1019) pet dancing classes 1020) backpack with a built-in umbrella 1021) transparent sandals 1022) aerobed chairs 1023) tuxedo swimsuit 1024) non-animated anime 1025) coffee that makes you sleepy 1026) multi-color bananas 1027) chairs that are made to sit cross-legged on 1028) pet dancing classes 1029) elderly computer programming classes 1030) electronic blackboard 1031) finger warmers 1032) running gloves 1033) plaid pants 1034) cup-pies (as opposed to cupcakes) 1035) parking under city streets 1036) commute to work in a helicopter and avoid traffic 1037) protein gum 1038) caffeine jelly beans 1039) pens with edible ink 1040) dishwasher that burns off food instead of using water 1041) pill you can swallow that makes you feel full 1042) e-book reader that has a hardcover like a book 1043) device that projects gps directions onto your windshield 1044) fried spaghetti 1045) battered and fried vegetables to eat at sports games 1046) protein water 1047) baseball except you can tackle people 1048) a bar where everyone has to sit on the floor 1049) schoolbuses that are not yellow 1050) homeless person virtual reality simulator 1051) beaches with no ocean 1052) shampoo/body wash line that smells like candy 1053) four wheel scooter 1054) nylon baseball cap 1055) soft bite size pretzels in a bag 1056) electronic legal pad 1057) caramel peanut butter (reeses?) 1058) drones that can carry passengers 1059) shoes that dry themselves while you're running 1060) oven that heats and cools 1061) macaroni and cheese salad 1062) peanut butter and celery sandwich 1063) phone case made of rubber to resist impact damage 1064) a refrigerator that locks when it's not time to eat 1065) carbonated tea 1066) dessert lasagna 1067) soundcloud for sound effects 1068) youtube for free indie movies 1069) airbnb except guests don't pay with cash, they cook for you 1070) DJ Khaled dog toy 1071) drink glasses with built in straws 1072) vibrating pillows 1073) spill shield for cup holders in cars 1074) hydrating gummy bears for athletes 1075) wallet that smells like fruit 1076) sweet peanut butter 1077) peanut butter flavored crackers 1078) edible straws 1079) skin colored socks 1080) running socks made of polyester 1081) slippers that massage your feet 1082) mobile ice bath 1083) sunscreen that smells fruity 1084) flavored ink 1085) trees that broadcast wifi/cellular signals 1086) shoes that have foot warmers in them 1087) plaid socks 1088) gas station that sells healthy food 1089) escalator for your house 1090) bubble gum flavored gatorade 1091) gum that helps you quit marijuana 1092) recycled jeans 1093) electronic office chair for reclining/lowering/etc 1094) melatonin lollipop 1095) tea popsicles 1096) coffee flavored soda 1097) running shoes that yell motivational things while you run 1098) lightbulbs that change color depending on time of day (see f.lux) 1099) sweet and sour spaghetti sauce 1100) baked potatoes for 4/20 1101) no flex zone - a gym that does not allow flexing 1102) electric ukelele 1103) rainbow whipped cream 1104) hair gel that dissolves after 12 hours 1105) vegetable pie 1106) fruity brownies 1107) dessert burrito 1108) book club podcast 1109) antibacterial doorknobs 1110) laundry bag that neutralizes odor 1111) belt that clicks like a seatbelt 1112) christian rap music 1113) electric piano 1114) otc pain reliever patch 1115) electronic ear plugs that play white noise 1116) homeless shelter that provides sleeping pods instead of housing 1117) put vitamins in the water supply 1118) pods full of cleaning fluid that you put in the toilet basin, and they dissolve over time to clean your toilet 1119) tinted mirrors 1120) running jeans 1121) drones that deliver meals 1122) pre-toasted bread 1123) baseball hat that has the home team on the outside and away on the inside 1124) silent vacuum 1125) juice boxes filled with tea 1126) running sombrero 1127) zero calorie chips 1128) dehydrated vegetable chips 1129) electronic kaleidoscope 1130) bed that rotates 360 degrees 1131) zip up t-shirt 1132) edible floss 1133) backpack w/ velcro instead of zippers 1134) citrus licorice 1135) sweet cheetos 1136) lemon gum 1137) umbrella hat 1138) goosebumps tv show revival 1139) rice infused with vitamins 1140) zero dollar bill 1141) e-book reader made out of paper with two separate screens, like a book 1142) caffeine lollipops 1143) headphones that are shaped like ears 1144) heavy metal with pianos 1145) virtual reality LARPing 1146) programming language for animals 1147) sandals that don't have a top, they just stick to your feet 1148) rice cream sundae 1149) t shirt you can put on without messing up your hair 1150) a book about books 1151) a quiet, soundproof room in the city that costs $5/hr 1152) thing that you can strap to your lower back to support good posture 1153) air filled couch. like aerobed