#but like nothing structural!! literally just used the wrong setting on my machine for some of the seams

[vulcannic]

this is happening

[sleepymarmot]

There are several references to the effects of the Swallow and to the upcoming apocalypse being like fire:

TIAGO - He laughs. "I don't mean *literal* singing, homes. This is the Mother of Silence we're talking about. It's the singing of a burning heart..." TIAGO - "...you may be thinking, 'But fire crackles!' No, homes, that's the material that's burning. The flames themselves are without sound."

YOU - "What will happen once you drink from this 'perforation'?" TIAGO - "I will be incinerated, but not destroyed -- finally at one with the state of the world before reality began." RHETORIC - That sounds a *bit* like substitution behaviour, no? You know a thing or two about that...

TIAGO - "Hey, man. I see it in you -- you are prepared to surrender yourself to the fire of revelation. But you're still a bit shaky spiritually." He looks you over. "You're also just, physically, shaking." TIAGO - "Keep the flame in your soul alive, though. One day you'll make it up here, if you put in the work."

INSULINDIAN PHASMID - Tell me what it's like for you. YOU - Fire, burning. INSULINDIAN PHASMID - Fire? Where? YOU - On the horizon. Pale fire. This thing we're both sensing is coming to an end. INSULINDIAN PHASMID - That is your problem. Nothing ever ends for me. There is only room for two, maybe three pictures in my mind.

Back when I was playing the game, one of my theories was that these meant the apocalypse will be the burning of the tape — or the tape computer — that this world was recorded in. So imagine my surprise when I reread Trant’s introduction of the FELD tape computer and found this:

TRANT HEIDELSTAM - "But perhaps I should return to the tape computers. As I was saying, the device itself was very elegant, fragile even. One could write directly on the tape using a special chemical solution. The machine would then analyse the handwriting, perform operations and project output onto a white screen. It was a beautiful, delicate thing." CONCEPTUALIZATION - Made of black film and folding tape structures... YOU - "The RCM should get some of those." TRANT HEIDELSTAM - "Even *one* would be very useful," he agrees. "Though I understand the socio-economic causes of the Revolution, it pains me to imagine the revolutionaries setting fire to this precious device. But so they did. The Feld Playback Experiment vanished into the fires of '07."

By now I have learned that the game prefers to limit the plot importance of its sci-fi elements. And still... this sounds a lot like the world’s impending incineration by nothingness and the tape computers’ fiery destruction are the same event somehow — or at least connected. Especially since the computers were burned by the revolutionaries, the revolution might be making a return, and, according to the city herself, one of the tape computers might still exist:

YOU - "Why did the revolutionaries destroy it?" TRANT HEIDELSTAM - "Who knows? Maybe it was an accident, or maybe they didn't want the technology to end up in the wrong hands. Either way -- they're all gone now, all three versions of the prototype. Nothing but debris and ashes remains inside that building." He takes a step back; the boardwalk creaks mournfully in the wind. SHIVERS - Two seagulls circle in the sky. You look up and think: really? Or was there a fourth prototype that remains hidden in the mausoleums below Coal City?...

[marimopeace]

there's a limit on how much you can be an isekai intellectual...

a bunch of analyses have been popping up before me all day so i wanted to throw my hat into the ring. all love to ppl who are exercising their creative minds + ppl like geoff here who just talk about these things because of fan interest but i feel like there reaches a point where exploring the "types" of isekai is pointless? i've seen ppl list out the different types of villainess revenge isekai or fantasy mmorpg isekai but eh why fit them all into separate boxes like that?

i think it's easier to think of isekai as a "type" (genre) of itself with only two categories: 1) a focus on isekai (lit. another world) 2) tensei (lit. to be reborn). this allows for a variety of applications and thus tropes that ppl see so many trends of!

with isekai - in another world

you see everything from:

pure fantasy (inuyasha, digimon wait maybe not the best example but in my childhood mind i count digimon as pure fantasy, fushigi yugi)

mmorpg inspired fantasy/adventure (.hack//legend of twilight, sao ugh, log horizon, overlord (LOVE OVERLORD!)

otome game-esque worlds >>> this is where it gets complicated with "villainess routes" since i admit there are multiple villainess tropes but this is why it's nice to not think of this as a "sub-type/genre" bc it frees you from those complications! (the saint's magic power is omnipotent, the white cat's revenge as plotted from the dragon king's lap soso cute!, the savior's book cafe in another world, i'm a villainous daughter so i'm going to keep the last boss wait i can't remember if she's reborn in this one lmaooo see this is why rules make everything hard)

with tensei storylines - being reincarnated/reborn in another world as *insert character/role*

you see...

the same tropes!!

pure fantasy (a returner's magic should be special, reminiscence adonis, the lady and the beast, light and shadow, i can't think of a manga off the top of my head for this ah)

mmorpg inspired fantasy/adventure (so i'm a spider so what i stan kumoko so hard, her majesty's swarm, can't name another off the top of my head ah i hate lists shorter than two things...)

self-insert based games/novels (fiance's observation log of a self-proclaimed villainess, who made me a princess, death is the only ending for the villainess, the villainess wants to marry a commoner, honestly games vs novels are different applications but i'm not in the headspace to try to remember a bunch of both lol)

*insert line break to give random ppl a break from scrolling but tl; dr just enjoy things for what they are no need to micro analyze*

similar variations occur in both genres (if ppl want to be super technical i guess i'm arguing that isekai itself is a massive genre that has the "another world" subgenre and "reincarnation" subgenre tl; dr) so i think it's honestly a huge pain to try to separate all these trends into so many different types of stories. for me personally it's easier to not get overwhelmed by this gigantic umbrella of "isekai" that spans light novels, manhwa, manga, and mobile games by just stripping each story down into its trademark tropes (aka character archetypes, story structures) and slapping "oh this is a person going to a world that's not ours" and "this person gets reborn as blank in another world". none of this "omg this power fantasy is such a this kind of isekai moment" or "there are 14 different types of villainess revenge stories and this series fits into this" bc AH labels! limitations! circle-jerks via ppl trying to compartmentalize everything and sound smart for leaving a comment on story analysis instead of ooh-ahhing over a character's face! dividing things into light novel manga vs manga vs korean manhwa ft. female characters!

the last bit is mainly why i feel frustrated by ppl's insistence to group everything?

the video linked at the beginning of the post (honestly good video essay, i enjoyed it, i just kept thinking in my head the whole time "marimo these are tropes do not take the genre talk literally") has a baby comment thread talking about "korean isekai manhwas" as a genre featuring nothing but reincarnated villainess' and i can't.

like i cannot acknowledge that as a genre of any sort. the energy i felt reading through some of those insights takes me back to 2012 when all yt americans discovered k-pop and deemed all korean music k-pop from then on! (ppl still do this now, yes you are seen and don't talk to me pls i don't like you. k-pop is korean pop music and nothing less and nothing more. take a few seconds and try to parse apart aspects of korean culture instead of slamming everything into a monolithic label that has the letter k and a hyphen.) it feels so odd to see a bunch of young ppl on ig and tiktok acknowledge korean media that happens to be in the form of a webtoon as "oh stories all about young girls becoming villains in stories they made/played" bc it feels so reductive u.u

(positionality disclaimer that i'm praying isn't actually necessary: i am a 3rd-generation korean of japanese descent do not fite me i am exhausted irl of ppl asking for validation/verification bc massive shove off.)

breaking news! korean manhwa...is just as multifaceted as japanese manga...bc how can comics as an art-form not have multiple genres...huh such a shocker?!?! same likely applies to media in other parts of the world like chinese manhwa and french comics--not my place to explain either of those i just know those industries exist bc of wakfu and donghua shows by Tencent.

at the end of the day it's not like analyzing any kind of isekai is wrong--absolutely not!! i think it can be super fun to think about how isekai elements complicate a story (MCs trying to go back home, ppl from the og world, reincarnation plot-twists) or maybe even bash a series for including some kind of other world element when they could have just written a super fun fantasy.

insert marimo's brief ramble that hey you can get sick of truck-kun's hitting disillusioned guys who happen to be super duper smart or girls who happen to be master chefs/craftsmen but transporting a fully-grown being into a fantasy setting is the ultimate cheat code for making mundane modern technology seem cool and overpowered, and being reincarnated as a fully grown person in a world with a pre-made story/game set-up completely bypasses the need for an author to slowly flesh out world-building in a natural progression so isekai is actually a really smart writing tool it's just that there are some series where the author didn't use it well at all and it's cheesy or clearly isekai was misused as a vehicle for character/story development and it was pointless *DEEP BREATH OUT*

in this essay i will argue...lol i am such a culture studies major!! if i were an english major i would be talking all about writing but here i am having a side-tangent about world-building via someone being reborn wow i love this for me (don't get me started on when an author has someone reincarnate as a baby and the story is mostly them having warm fluffy moments with their family--typically father figures--and getting lots of powers i could and would and probably will rant about east asian toxicity)

but anyway am i crazy????? like yes for being passionate about the technical use of a word like genre (i am a scorpio rising let me be fussy pls) but i don't think it's a lot to ask for ppl to not unironically see "villainess revenge isekai" as the definition of korean manhwa.

idk as someone who resonates with why japanese isekai is so popular domestically + why a lot of korean manhwa feat. the same tropes (it's not for great reasons lads it's actually depressing tbh) i'm just starting to feel kind of pained by the generalization and need to separate "cute japanese girl in an otome game"/"japanese boy finds a harem in another world" from "korean girl dies and comes back as a villainess" bc they are just! applications to the same story device!!

recommendations for any who makes it this far down below <3

// also gladly recommend any of the examples i've listed in the above rant as i've read/watched all of them and adore them v much! //

save me princess

super refreshing fantasy manhwa ft. a princess and her ex-boyfriend having to save the world!

the beginning after the end

an AMERICAN web novel turned into a comic (but see it being not korean/japanese doesn't really matter when you just consider isekai as a genre...isn't it nice to not overthink it?) ft. a super-powerful wizard king reincarnated into another world and starting from scratch--gives mushoku tensei vibes but huge twists!

the reason why raeliana ended up at the duke's mansion

love love LOVE this story--read the title and you'll learn how this girl reincarnated as the character raeliana in a book gets married to a duke!

trash of the count's family

such a good novel!! a guy gets reborn as a lazy oaf and he takes the hero of the story under his wing...plot twists come up later on!

this time i will definitely be happy!

v good and refreshing for a shorter series! she's been reborn 3 times and remembers every time the hero's stabbed her in the back, and now she just wants to break up with him!

silver diamond

older manga but v good adventure w intrigue! a boy who loves plants get sucked into a desert world with demonic lizards and a mysterious bodyguard by his side. shonen-ai not BL but wonderful vibes nonetheless + great side characters!

the princess imprints a traitor

adore everything in this from the world (not in that way this society makes me so angry) to the machinations at play and the dynamic between the fl and ml

[kingwuko]

Wuko in the Comics: Ruins of the Empire, Book 1 part 2

Welcome to my series of posts discussing Wuko in the Comics. In this post I'll continue to discuss RotE Book 1. There are some... interesting moments in the second half of this comic, including a very famous line that all but confirms canon Wuko.

Plot Summary

Fearing that Guan will use violence to stop the election, the Krew decides to bring Kuvira along with them to Gaoling, hoping that she can talk him down. When they come face-to-face with Guan, however, they discover he does not intend to use violence, but will run in Gaoling’s election. The Krew decides the best solution is to find another candidate with enough public support to defeat Guan fair and square; and they decide to ask Toph to run. It is revealed, however, that Guan does not intend to win fair and square. He’s planning to brainwash Gaoling’s citizens to vote for him.

Major Plot points in the second half of Book 1

We start off right away with the Sauna Scene. Everyone looks excellent. The ladies' sauna wear is lovely. Mako and Bolin have their classic swim suits seen in season 1. Wu is literally just wearing a towel. I found myself googling saunas and steam baths to see if it’s normal to wear swimsuits or just a towel, and everything I read said pretty much anything goes as long as you are comfortable, but I do find it interesting that everyone wears swimsuits except Wu. Maybe because he does steam baths more often and he’s just more comfortable in that setting? He seems pretty confident and not at all shy. I don’t have anything analytical to say about it, I just think it’s an interesting detail, that he doesn’t seem to have any hang-ups about being nearly naked around Mako his friends.

They are discussing Guan’s militaristic movement toward Gaoling, and tossing ideas around to handle the situation. Mako not-so-helpfully suggests using force with the united forces which Zhu Li shoots down right away, not wanting to escalate the situation. Wu agrees and wants to find a peaceful resolution. Korra, remembering her conversation with Kuvira, thinks she has the answer. She proposes bringing Kuvira along to Gaoling, which NOBODY is happy about. Asami is upset because she made it clear earlier she does not want to be in the same room as Kuvira, Bolin is distressed because Kuvira nearly had him killed when he defected from her inner circle, Mako points out that he nearly lost his arm taking down the mech, Zhu Li says she invaded republic city, Asami reminds everyone that Kuvira killed her father, and Wu boldly declares that we can’t forget she ruined his coronation… He quickly reads the room and apologises (character growth?).

Korra acknowledges everyone’s concerns and points out that she truly believes Kuvira can be an ally- she was their ally when Zaheer was trying to kill her and the airbenders; and when her spirit vine weapon ripped open a new portal to the spirit world, Kuvira thought she had died and Korra believes that changed her. Bolin points out that Kuvira is very persuasive and may have a good shot at convincing Guan to stand down. Everyone is convinced and declares their support for the plan.

Zhu Li orders Kuvira’s release and Korra brings her onto the airship taking them all to Gaoling. And, I’m sorry, this frame is like, the bitchiest collective look from Mako, Wu, Bolin and Pabu. I just love it.

They initially plan to restrain her, but decide it’s pointless when Kuvira points out if she wanted to escape that she would have already. They arrive at Gaoling and there’s no sign of Guan and his army. Kuvira is certain he’ll be there, and points out that she needs to change so she doesn’t meet with him looking like a prisoner.

Korra and Wu go to meet with the election candidates. Their portraits are on the wall and it’s revealed that the candidates are both elderly magistrates who have been working in the local government for a long time. They are practically indistinguishable from each other, which causes Korra concern. Wu isn’t happy about it either, he was hoping the elections would bring in new leaders to take the earth kingdom in a new direction. Instead, it looks like nothing will change in Gaoling or the rest of the earth kingdom if things play out the same way. They are both disappointed but Korra is optimistic that this is the first election and over things will improve as they iron out the political kinks

Back in the flying machine, they give Kuvira an outfit of Asami’s that is…. Like I can’t put it into words. I’ve never seen asami wear it and that is a shame. The word that comes to mind is “Dapper”. Like is we saw Asami wearing it when they first introduced her character literally everyone would have predicted Cannon Korrasami and immeadiately said “yup Asami’s gay straight women don’t dress like that”. Slacks, a collared long sleeve shirt, with a grey vest over top. Just like, amazing. I am so disappointed we never saw Asami wear this. Someone point me to a fanart of Asami in this outfit that canonically belongs to her please.

Guan arrives and Kuvira tries to talk to him, which goes about as well as you’d expect. So she tries to appeal directly to his troops and urges them to surrender, and they all say in unison “Hail Commander Guan!”. So Kuvira decides to challenge Guan and beats the crap out of him in a punch that looks like something directly out of a WWII propaganda poster or something.

Kuvira is literally about to kill him by bending the metal collar around his neck when suddenly Asami electrocutes her with some device she had hidden in the belt she gave Kuvira.

Once Mako and Bolin drag Kuvira away, Korra attempts to reason with Guan and tells him she won’t let him interfere with the election. Guan then reveals he has no intention of interfering- he plans on running in the election! He immediately turns in all the necessary paperwork to be on the ballot. He informs the Krew that soon, all the upcoming elections will have Earth Empire representatives running and once they have power in every territory, no one will question the Earth Empire's right to rule.

They reconvene back on the airship, where Kuvira is detained in the platinum box. They explain to Kuvira that she was wrong to provoke him, but right that he is an excellent strategist. Mako then tells Wu that he should just call off the election. Wu replies “Mako, you know I love you, but I’m trying to encourage democracy. I can’t just go around canceling elections because I don’t like one of the candidates. We need to see how this plays out”

…

Yes. “Mako, you know I love you”

…

We’ll discuss that at length in a bit.

They decide the best path forward is to find a new candidate who is popular enough to beat Guan. Korra excitedly suggests Toph. Which, like, wouldn’t have been the first person to come to mind for me, but I guess she’s the only person they know who is originally from Goaling? But everyone seems on board, except presumably Toph because she doesn't like to get involved in worldly affairs… So Korra announces they will just have to convince her!!

We then cut to Guan's encampment, where he is discussing Kuvira’s actions with a Doctor Sheng, observing that Kuvira just isn’t the same, and that the Avatar has corrupted her mind. The doctor suggests they “recalibrate” Kuvira’s mind and leads him into a structure where she shows him their latest “recruits'. We then see Goaling citizens tied up in chairs with devices on their heads. They are being brainwashed to vote for Guan! Yikes!

Mako and Wu Scenes

The Sauna scene

The meeting that took place in the sauna was at the behest of Wu. He said he was very stressed out so he couldn’t miss his steam bath. I know there are lots of jokes about Wu being high maintenance because he needs his spa days or whatever, but he is in a highly stressful situation right now and we know that self care is essential to maintain one’s mental health and in order to perform one’s job well. I think this was an interesting way to weave together his seemingly superficial hobbies with his new maturity and responsibility. I really loved this scene for that (though seeing all the hot people in sauna-wear is a bonus).

Also there is a recurring thing where Mako is just offering the worst advice to Korra. He wants the United Republic, a completely separate Nation from the Earth Kingdom, to just.. March into another country and ‘enforce’ their democratic process??? Like…. If you know anything about world history and current events we know that is awful and wouldn’t be received well and would be a recipe for political instability and long term conflict. Thank goodness everyone is like Mako no. I’m pointing this out because, as much as we think of Wu as being immature, irresponsible, whatever, the reality is that he has a level head while Mako is actually giving the irresponsible solutions here. It’s a really interesting evolution from the infamous Wu meltdown scene where Mako was the voice of reason, but here things have reversed.

Also, I want to point out the moment where Wu backs down after he adds his grievance to the list everyone is giving (She ruined my coordination!), it’s kind of played for laughs but like… Wu has a totally valid reason to be upset on par with everyone else, considering Kuvira had him drugged and kidnapped…. Why wouldn’t he have said that? Well, the simple and obvious answer is- the writers wanted to make a “Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking” joke. But since us fans like to give depths to the characters that they deserve, maybe Wu is genuinely traumatized and just doesn’t want to bring it up. And maybe everyone knows he’s traumatized and doesn't want to bring it up, because no one else is like “Wu, did you forget she had you drugged and kidnapped???” They just give him a look and he’s like “LOL oops sorry should have said my thing first!!” maybe Team Avatar understands that it was a really scary moment for him and they just let him shield himself with humor.

I know it isn’t isn’t exactly a strong Wuko moment, but the bitchy look that Moko, Bolin, Wu and Pabu give to Kuvira in the airship breathed life into me for some reason. I’m loving how they look like a group of mean girls who were just badmouthing Kuvira before she walked in. I think they were having a nice bonding moment before this.

Mako, you know I love you

Ok. So after Mako casually mentions just calling off the election, Wu flat out says “I love you” to Mako. This is a line us Wuko shippers just DIE for. The full line is as follows:

Mako: I say you call off the vote, at least for now. Make it impossible for Guan to win

Wu: Mako, you know I love you, but I’m trying to encourage democracy. I can’t just go around cancelling elections because I don’t like one of the candidates. We need to let this play out.

So. Like, what the heck are we supposed to make of this?

I’m not going to dig too deep and force my own interpretations and headcanons onto you. This I love you could mean a number of different things. I just want to pose some rhetorical questions about it and the context to give us all some things to think about.

Is Wu flirting? Does Mako actually know that Wu loves him? Is this an extension of Wu’s many other instances of flirting with complimenting Mako (on par with ‘my big tough guy” while staring at his ass)? Has Wu said “I love you” to Mako before? How many times has Wu said “Mako I love you” before? Is this evidence of them actually being in a romantic relationship during this comic? Or is it evidence of romantic tension building? Is Mako just totally oblivious to the fact that Wu said I love you? Or did he hear it and his brain blue-screened from the shock of being blatantly told I love you? Has Wu just gotten fed up that Mako seems oblivious to all his previous flirtations and he just decided to up the ante? Does Mako love Wu back?!

Lots of questions. Lots of interpretations. But (as far as I remember) Mako has only said I love you to two people- his brother and Korra (I don’t think he said I love you to Asami but I could be wrong). And if you’ve read this you know that Mako’s relationship with Wu is not brotherly. We’ve never heard “I love you” from Wu toward anyone else that I can recall so I don’t think he makes a habit of throwing the phrase around lightly. Also, worth noting: Literally no one reacts to the casual “I love you”. Everyone just goes on with the conversation at hand. The next frame that we see of Wu and Mako’s faces together, Mako is SMILING at Wu.

So like, he’s clearly not uncomfortable with being told that Wu loves him. And no one else is uncomfortable with it either. So what gives? Are they together? Are they flirting? Is everyone else just like “yup Wu said I love you Mako nothing out of the ordinary here because it’s painfully obvious Wu is into Mako, let's move on, nothing to see here”?

Wu and Korra

One thing I LOVE about these comics is the friendship between Korra and Wu. During the series, Korra tolerated Wu, warming up to him a bit at the very end when he told her his plan to abdicate. But through these comics there seems to be a comfortable familiarity between them. A bit of teasing, loads of moral support, and not a hint of her (or anyone) being super annoyed by him. He also doesn’t hit on her or anyone else except Mako, which is a very refreshing character growth because it was very tiresome to watch him objectify women in the animated series.

Korra and Wu spend a good amount of time together as she accompanies him to Gaoling’s city hall. They seem very comfortable with each other, comfortable enough that the writers included a fart joke.

Korra reassures Wu when he expresses worry about the election being pointless, she steps forward somewhat protectively when Guan shows up- the entire scene with Guan, Korra is standing between him and Wu.

Basically I bring this up because I genuinely love the idea that Korra and Wu are close and friendly, that they have moved on from his cringy behavior from the series (I like to think he apologized to both her and Asami?)

What this means for Wuko

If you are writing fic or just coming up with headcanon, there are two ways to look at the scenes. Either they are in a relationship, or they aren’t. You could easily just say they are in a relationship and are being quiet about it, because they aren’t ready to be fully public, or maybe because they are still figuring things out, or they are waiting for Wu to abdicate and move back to Republic City, etc. “You know I love you” is such an easy piece of canon content to make this your headcanon.

Likewise, one could say they are Not Together right now. Pre-relationship, if you will. Maybe they’ve danced around the idea, discussed feelings without actually getting together. Or maybe they are still clueless that there is a potential for a relationship. Wu might be putting out feelers to see how Mako responds to his flirtations. Mako might be wondering if he’s misinterpreting Wu’s affectionate touches and words. Lots of romantic tension, pining, each wondering if the other one has any feelings.

I also love the idea that Wu and Korra are friends and have discussed or will discuss Mako and Wu’s feelings for him.

So, in summary, Wu loves Mako. It’s canon. It’s right there in black and white. Make of it what you will!

Next post I will discuss Wuko in the first half of RotE Book 2. Wu goes on a life-changing field trip with Korra to meet Toph and confront a swamp-vision of his Late Great Aunt, while Mako gets captured and brainwashed by Guan. Wu and Mako are not together during these scenes but there will be lots of wonderful Wu backstory along with plenty of angst potential from the brainwashing storyline.

Wuko in Turf Wars

Wuko in RotE part 1

[kayr0ss]

Hands that Remember Chapter 2 [AO3]

[Horizon Zero Dawn, Elisabet Sobeck Lives, Found Family, Mother-Daughter Feelings, GAIA is recovering, Ereloy]

Summary: Aloy saw the recordings, felt their grief over the death of their culture - the loss of their identity. Ted Faro had blown away the light meant to guide humanity through darkness - but she was willing to risk it all to take it back. To bring APOLLO back.  It wasn't the first time that the world asked her for a miracle, but it bargained with a miracle of its own: This time - she didn't have to do it alone.

[Wherein Elisabet Sobeck returns, GAIA is recovering, Erend is done waiting around, and Aloy discovers a family she's never had before to help lift the weight of the world off her shoulders.]

Chapter 2: Re-Calibration

CHAPTER 2

--

It was such an odd thing to feel dirt again.

When was the last time she felt sediment and rock between her fingertips? A thousand years ago—quite literally. She’d forgotten the feel of it squeezing underneath the overhang of her nails, the discomfort of a pebble pressing on her heel within her shoe.

Little things. Living things.

GAIA Prime and all the other bunkers she had to oversee were exactly that: bunkers. Giant boxes of metal sealed from the world and its mounds of dust, dirt, and rock. But this disconnection wasn’t new: it’s been around since before she was locked away and working on Zero Dawn. It was there even back in Miriam, in FAS—even as far back as Stanford. So much time spent rushing towards the next breakthrough that she never had the time to stop and smell the flowers before they all burned away.

It was hard to wrap her head around the idea that flowers were back—blooming again somewhere out there. But for now she’d settle for the desert sand, riddled with weeds and other small signs of life.

She wondered what Erend might be thinking, seeing her run her fingers along the ground like a toddler. Eager to feel—to learn, no, relearn about a world she was only getting her bearings on. She caught a small blade of grass between her fingers. It’s alive, it’s all… alive again, she stared in wonder at the small miracle of live in her hand. Her return to consciousness was a violent experience. This was a nice change of pace.

The rest of the vanguard gave her and Erend privacy to talk, running errands in the nearby encampment and leaving them in the shade of an open tent. God knows she needed the space. She had questions—so many questions and while Erend tried his best to get her up to speed it seemed like there was always more. His rushed explanation was a disaster. Machines, cultists—whatever the fuck else was out there—and Aloy.

He said he’d try again and break it down slowly this time, sticking to what he knew and leaving the rest ‘to Aloy.’

‘Aloy’ sounded like a big shot. Someone important. Erend spoke about her with both familiarity and fondness—like how the other Alphas sounded when talking about one another. Whatever tangent he flew into—about what they had to fight off and how he believed it was related to herself and the other ‘Old Ones’—it always came back to Aloy. There was an unwavering faith he had in her that she could recognize: the feeling that they’ve fought together, bled together.

Endured something terrible together.

She remembered how he looked a little hurt earlier. “You’re Aloy’s mother, aren’t you?” He said it almost reverently, but unfortunately the answer was a very strong “no.” It must have been a misunderstanding—why would he think that?

“Got some boar roasting in camp.” Erend’s voice carried above the sound of his heavy footsteps. He walked closer, seating himself on a rock across her. “You feelin’ better?”

“I think so,” she admitted. “Alive. Which is better than the alternative when it comes to emerging from cryosleep if you ask me.”

“Good, good.” He crossed his arms. “Not hungry?”

Elisabet shook her head. “I don’t think I can taste anything yet.” She really hoped this side-effect was temporary.

“Well, let’s get you some soup. That’ll help.”

How she was feeling was a can of worms she didn’t want to open quite yet. Her body was on edge, the hairs along her arms standing in attention while she could feel the pace of her heart jog above average. It almost made her wince, the self-awareness of expecting a panic attack at any moment, but if her system had decided to be useful before shutting off completely later on, she was going to make the goddamn most of it.

Deep breaths.

She needed to take deep, long breaths. This was nothing but a jacked-up sympathetic nervous system stress response—there was no real danger. Just hypothetical fear. She needed to relax. She needed to think.

Orientation would be a good start—what, when, and where. And then she needed a plan. Something. Anything to do other than wander aimlessly like a fucking relic out of time. “You okay?”

It almost made her snap. He was asking if she was okay? She looked up, a smart quip loaded at the tip of her tongue but then—he looked so earnest, so concerned. An expression like that didn’t belong on a soldier.

“Not really, no.” She admitted.

“Huh.” Erend sat hunched over with his chin on one hand, looking comically close to that old statue of a thinking man if not for the wider breadth of his knees. He cleared his throat. “So…”

Despite the situation, she chuckled. “I’m glad to see that the most awkward of conversation starters evolved itself back into common use.”

The reference likely flew over his head, but he smiled while rubbing at the back of his neck almost shyly. He seemed… kinder than a hundred pounds of armor and a warhammer would seem like.

“I mean what am I even supposed to say?” He shrugged. “I uh, hit things with my hammer. You—and this predicament—are not things I’m gonna hit with my hammer.”

“That’s reassuring,” Elisabet deadpanned.

“You sure you aren’t Aloy’s mother?” Erend cracked her a lopsided grin.

Elisabet rubbed at her temple. “I think I’d know if I was. Is it wishful thinking to hope you guys have any ibuprofen?”

She had been pointedly ignoring his assertions that she was anyone’s mother. There were more pressing concerns to address, foremost of which was the distinct lack of technology. She’s only been up and about for a few hours but it was enough to notice the rudimentary tools and structures, along with the fact that Erend seemed to be the only other person with access to technology similar to hers.

“I’d check if we do, if I had any idea of what that is.”

“Where are we?”

“The furthest west I’ve ever been, honestly.” Erend shrugged. “I’m not familiar with these lands. We generally call it The Forbidden West—but there isn’t much else we know. Just more… sand, and dust. I’ve heard stories of trees that grew on sand, at the border of an endless lake. Never been there to see it myself.” He paused thoughtfully. “I uh, made a short trek back east from where I found you. About an hour or a little more.”

Elisabet stayed quiet, willing herself not to ask the question prickling at the tip of her tongue.

“Was that your home?” Erend asked quietly. “Where I found you. With the tall, pointed trees and the old stone structure.”

“Pines,” she supplied. “The trees, I meant. I thought you would know this by now.”

He grunted. “I’m a captain. Pretty good darned captain too, but no tree expert.”

“No, no.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I meant you as in people, in general. The kinds of trees and animals, our history and technology—we tried to pass that on.”

Something wasn’t right—a feeling that’s been weighing on her since her awakening.

Erend and the vanguard were outfitted with plate armor and looked to have no means of transportation other than by foot. They had waterskins instead of thermal containers and their basic camping supplies were made of fibers and tanned leather. Nevermind real-time mapping and wireless communication. ‘Battle-ready’ wasn’t exactly what came to mind, and she’d have paid to hear Herres’ take on 31st century military technology. She might have even chuckled, had the implication not been so dire. Something had definitely gone wrong.

“Is the nearby encampment allied with you?”

“It was established by the Carja military as a way station, under the Sundom’s jurisdiction.” Erend beckoned her nearer, shuffling towards the side to leave space on the large, slated rock he was sitting on. “Ever since the Battle at the Spire, the Sun King’s been allowing expeditions towards the west—Aloy’s got a hunch that something is going on over there and you could guess that most of everyone listens to her these days. Whether she likes it or not.”

Carja. Sundom. Factions and nations, most likely?

“Just a minute.” He fumbled a little with his focus, looking up and awkwardly moving his hands in thin air. His frustration was noticeable in the deep set of his brows. “Aloy’s done this before—a map, on scrolls of light. She could share it with me while it, uh, did its floaty thing.”

“Do you have the map open?” Elisabet tapped her focus, hearing the small digital beam alert her of its activity. Technology was a familiar comfort—something to ground her. She whistled lowly while running a system check on the piece of hardware, trying not to wince at the fact that the date read January 14, 3041. The 31st fucking century. Safe to say it’s still working way past warranty declarations. “I think I got it.”

“How did you—its telling me that an external device accessed my display?”

“Hacking it,” she smiled. “This is more or less my area of expertise.”

“Right,” Erend nodded. “So we’re right over here.” He pointed towards a small glowing indicator.

“Outskirts of Carson City.” She had said it so softly it surprised her. She never pegged herself as particularly sentimental but being so close to home… after everything.

“And this,” he moved to the east. “Is the Sundom, and to its eastern border is the Nora’s Sacred Lands.”

Elisabet let herself have a moment of evaluation, eyes moving around the map to absorb as much information as she could. The satellite image let her know that the area’s topography reverted to pre-Faro Plague days: desert and canyons. Forested mountains covered the range to the east, but the northern range where she recalled Yellowstone was seemed erratically cold and glacial.

Information was a valuable resource she was lacking in.

“I need to get to the most developed settlement,” she muttered to herself. “Acclimate to customs and culture before finding a means to find and access ZD bunkers.”

“Bunkers?” Erend blinked.

“I assume that camps similar to this one are interspersed between the border of the Sundom and our location? At distances accessible by foot?”

“Yes, but—”

“I have to account for hostility along the road.” She crossed her arms. “And resources for supplies. What currency do you trade with?”

“Look,” Erend’s tone was firm. “We are going to take care of hostility and resources, because we’re going with you.”

“I—”

“You need to slow down,” Erend rose to his feet. “We don’t even know for sure if you’re okay after getting thawed out a thousand years later.”

“I need to figure out what happened to Zero Dawn. Find GAIA, and then—”

“Elisabet,” his voice was softer again, big and heavy hands settling on her shoulders. “We have time.”

Time? Of course they didn’t! There were a million things left to do and only two weeks until—

“The world isn’t ending anymore.”

--

He’d finally convinced her to sit down and get something to eat and it wasn’t damn easy. Elisabet was back to the makeshift planning table even before swallowing down her last bite and by the forge it was driving Erend just a little bit crazy.

“This is where we’re headed.”

Erend marked his own map, one that was tangible and inked on parchment instead of light. More reliable, if you asked him. Didn’t flicker in and out of sight—and didn’t make him look like a total jackass in front of his vanguard, waving his fingers around something they couldn’t see.

It was nearing sundown. The vanguard packed up ahead of time; they were leaving at the break of dawn. Erend split the party in two—one was to continue the expedition towards the Western Threshold, and the other, with Erend, was to hurry back to Meridian discreetly. It was a plan forged into metal: Erend needed to talk to Avad, while Elisabet seemed particularly interested in the Spire once he mentioned it.

“Utah and Colorado,” Elisabet whispered in wonder, tapping her focus on likely projecting a light-based rendering of them map on top of his own. “The staging areas for Zero Dawn.”

Erend looked at her with curiosity. “S’that what they used to be called? Before… before the whole thing—”

“Ended?” She punctuated, sensing his discomfort. But then she gave him a slight smile—it was different from Aloy’s. Wiser and wearier. “Though that’d be wrong. We’re still here, somehow.”

He smirked. “Don’t look so surprised. Didn’t you have somethin’ to do with that?”

“I’m just one of many,” she looked back towards the map. Didn’t look ready to talk about that, it seemed. “So what have we got?”

“We’re not in a hurry. We can take the traders’ path on the way back.” He pointed along a red, snaking line etched on the surface of the parchment. It was well-lit, well-guarded, and easy to traverse with enough camps in-between to restock and rest. He tapped twice on a marker at the end of route: it was a black, soaring tower. The good ‘ol Spire.

“That’d take us too long.” Elisabet shook her head. “We could go through these passes through the ridges. Cut straight through and save both time and resources.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“And time—”

“—is something you have now.” Erend stood his ground, arms crossed. “As I keep reiterating to you.”

“I’ve noticed.” Elisabet set her jaw. Then she sighed, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I’m still getting used to—” she waved a hand over the map “—this.”

“You mean not being the one in charge?” Erend grinned.

“I didn’t really ask for that,” she smiled back kindly. “But old habits die hard.”

“The long way to Meridian it is, then.”

--

Sobeck Journal, 1-14-41

We did it.

Even this barren desert looks beautiful. Can’t shake the feeling that I don’t deserve to see it all though.

Not without the rest of ZD. Without the rest of you.

I’m going to forego writing about how I feel because I don’t even know where to begin digging up that can of shit. Exhaustion was always an effective sleeping pill back in the day: now that I’ve got time to think when I lay down everything is so loud. Given the state of things I doubt they’d invented melatonin pills yet either, but who am I to complain? Alive is still better than dead.

Off to sleep now. Something’s wrong with APOLLO. More things to figure out tomorrow.

After all these years, I still don’t get to rest.

--

[“—someone— … —back to see—“]

“Great timing as usual.” Aloy hissed under her breath. The strider she was on was nearly worn down. She was an hour’s ride away from the forest’s edge—right where the sands of the Barrens began. That’s what she was going to call them anyway: “the Barrens.” Those prissy cartographers up in the mesa have no idea just how large the West was. It wasn’t all sand and tumbleweed: there were forests so different from the Jewel and the Sacred Lands that she didn’t know how to begin describing them! And the lake… the biggest she’s ever seen. A body of water so large it must have cloaked the world’s entirety. She’s seen it on the spherical maps stored in her focus—a depth of blue so imposing she couldn’t even wrap her head around it. The air was different along the lake’s edge—salty and crisp. Both beautiful and foreign and so very unforgiving.

She gently stroked the side of the strider’s neck. She didn’t want to wear him down completely—best to leave enough so that he could carry on and survive another day. Herds of broadheads often wandered around the Barrens anyway, although not found as often as in Meridian and to the East.

She’s been getting scrambled messages from Erend for the better part of a day now. He sounded panicked. He hated using his focus but there was apparently something important enough for him to try. It seemed desperately urgent and the only thing she could make of his messages was that she needed to go back.

Chasing after GAIA and whatever was left of APOLLO was going to have to wait.

Her strider whinnied—Aloy hummed a small apology she hoped it could understand. If she found a charger it’d be better—she could ride through evening on a mount strong enough to discourage smaller machines from engaging them. By next evening she could rest by the ranch.

Aloy bit her lip, a soft feeling of longing at her gut. That’s what Elisabet called it in her journals anyway—Sobeck Ranch. A small speck of life, trees, and flowers on the eastern edge of the Barrens. A small place to rest before another two days’ ride to Meridian.

She remembers how freeing it felt to tell Rost about her misadventures so far. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to take a few minutes for Elisabet and do the same.

She urged the strider to run a little faster, wind whipping at her hair and the tassels of her armor. “Just a bit more, big guy. Just a little more.”

-

A/N: Thank you once again to Tototops for beta-reading this chapter!

It's been a hot minute but here we go with chapter 2!

[bewareofchris]

Writing advice on How to write an interesting antagonist, please?

sorry about the day-late reply.  I’d like to say that I was thinking up a really good answer but also my sinuses are trying to kill me.

OK, so there are a few key points that you should remember when it comes an interesting antagonist.  (These will be listed in no particular order.)

Purpose: what sort of antagonist do you need?  If you’re writing a rom-com you don’t need a supervillain.  

C o n v i c t i o n.  This means that whatever your antagonist is doing to hinder your story/protag it needs to come from the POV of a person who is trying to accomplish something.  Any antagonist who only exists to say mean things to your character without any sort of personal goal will fall flat in the long run.  Yes, it might really hurt if you get stabbed in the back by Laughing McMeanpants but if McMeanpants is just doing it to be a bother and gains nothing it just seems pointless.  

A fully developed Character.  I know this one seems almost obvious but here me out.  We spend a lot of time with our protagonists.  We love them.  We sometimes throw them into pits full of salt-covered razor blades but that comes from a place of love.  I’m not saying that you have to love your antagonist to successfully have one, but you should try it.  The most interesting antagonists are the ones that are only wrong by virtue of being on the losing side?  Like, they have SUCH A GOOD POINT and SUCH VALID reasons for doing what they are doing that you almost, a little bit, kind of want them to win.  (There are also the sort of antagonists that just want to watch the world burn and those you don’t want to win but you still sort of root for when nobody’s looking because they are a force of nature.)  Let your Antagonist has a life.  A history.  Loved ones.  Interests.  Hobbies.  Favorite foods.  A day job?  Petty rivalries.  Accomplishments.  Weaknesses that aren’t just used for destroying them.  Random skills like whistling and that weird tongue-folding thing people do.

A REASONABLE LEVEL OF POWER FOR YOUR STORY’S SETTING.  Look, as much as I love a good ol’team up for the win story, if you’ve given your antagonist the literal power of the gods, you’re not really making him work for it are you?  Maybe what’s interesting about your antagonist is that they did work their ass off to be where they are?  Maybe whatever power they had didn’t come naturally.  People are a lot more likely to defend something they had to scratch, claw, bite and kill to get then they are something that was just given to them?  And who doesn’t secretly want the guy who had to spend 20 years collecting gemstones while being laughed at by the village virgins and sleeping in shit to win when he’s up against The Golden Child who Happened To Find A Dragon Egg?  

Self Worth and Ego. Nobody considers themselves the villain of their own story.  They probably don’t sit around drinking their wine being like, whose such an evil boy?  I’m such an evil boy.  They’re out there being like: what the hell is wrong with Johnny Goodguy?  WHY IS HE SO ANNOYING.  And or they’re super stressed, forgetting to wash their hair in the shower, trying to figure out how to out think Johnny Goodguy.  If both your protag and antagonist aren’t literally furious about the other one always doing something wrong, you’re not being fair to one of them. 

Consistency.   Don’t fall into that trap where the antagonist twirls their mustache while talking about sawing James Bond in half but leaves him unattended because he’s squeamish I guess?  If your antagonist is the sort of person whose going to saw someone in half, he’s probably he sort of person whose going to stick around and make sure it gets done right.  If you do not want your antagonist to win, do not set up a practically inescapable trap and then have your protag escape because of negligence.  RESPECT YOUR ANTAGONIST.  They have a giant saw machine for a reason.  It’s because they use it.  They probably also have an incinerator in the basement!  If Jimmy wants to escape he better be the most clever person alive or JUST NOT GET CAUGHT.

Let’s repeat that last bit: Respect your antagonist.  Even if your protagonist hates him.  Even if antagonist is REVOLTING.  Even if he is a murderous baby killer out here eating newborn and puppy soup for breakfast while cheating on his taxes and cutting to the front of the Starbucks line, he is USELESS as a villain/antagonist if you aren’t taking him seriously.  If your antagonist is just there to make your protag feel bad with quippy insults, then your protag needs to feel bad when he sees them.  If your antagonist is out here destroying planets, people need to be afraid of him.  And not like, oh he’s so bad but I guess I’ll just kill him anyway because i”m the hero and I fear nothing.  Bravery is not the absence of fear.  Having your badass protagonist not care just undermines the worth of your antagonist.

Now, how to put these to use in the story very much depends on what sort of antagonist that you’re using, how important they are to the story and how much time you’re putting into it/how long it is.  A 2k rom-com with a one-off a-hole doesn’t really need as much devotion as a 200k epic sci-fi fantasy thriller.  

But some quick suggestions:

Gossip. A well placed bit of gossip about the antagonist of your choice is an excellent method of adding in a sprinkle of backstory without having to listen to a villain-ish monologue.  And it doesn’t even have to be outright backstory?  It can just be fun things like, “i bet he’s the kind of guy that eats baby turtles” “he eats oranges with he peels on.” “His ex-wife moved to Alaska to get away from him.” “Not even a blind dog would lick his hand.”  You know, general impressions of his character that indicate he is universally disliked.

Begrudging Compliments/Unintentional Acts of Kindness Think of “i hate that guy but you gotta admit he draws Lisa Frank tigers better than Lisa Frank.”  Or “everyone was going to get fired because nobody finished this work project but Asshole K Asshole showed up at the last minute and finished it so we’re all still here.”  MAKE YOUR PROTAG HAVE TO THANK YOUR ANTAGONIST AND IT’S ALL THE MORE REASON TO HATE THEM.

An acceptable level of villain, progressing from smallest to largest Remember the way to build dread/suspense/fear is to always leave room to get worse.  Do not, I BEG YOU, do NOT start off your antagonist by making them the most unreasonable/over the top/absolutely most violent thing you can imagine?  Do not show up to a casual drink party with a fire-starting child killer edgelord drinking blood out of a can while shouting slurs at minorities and proclaiming himself king of the universe.  Maybe he just shows up to the party looking arrogant, and belligerently dismisses your protag while effortlessly making everyone like him more?  And then later he starts setting things on fire.  Like at the end of the story.  Set a starting place (minimally shocking but morally unacceptable action) and an ending place (shocking but not surprising and morally reprehensible/repugnant/just like the worst action(s)).

He’s enjoying himself/but also it’s a hassle.  People like winning.  Everyone likes winning.  It doesn’t even matter what you’re winning.  A popularity contest?  Control over the universe?  Soccer?  You’re winning, it’s great, you like it.  It’s a high, you want to keep it, and while you’re there why not rub it in a little that you’re like FANTASTIC.  So Antagonist, whose on top because he’s a fucking winner?  He’s going to enjoy it, and he’s going to want to hang onto that sweet sweet winner kool-aid as long as he can.  But there’s a price to literally being driven to win/hang onto that and it’s exhaustion.  Constantly having to stay in power requires constantly having to mutate to fit the needs of being powerful.  It’s not one-and-done because as soon as you are winning someone’s offended by it and they are coming to take your throne.  Even the people who are riding your coattails are expecting something from you.  And if you’ve used fear to get where you are, you have to maintain that level of fear at all times which means constantly showing up being all threatening and unpleasant.  These things are exhausting.  A man’s got to sleep and he can’t sleep well when he’s having to cut off his lackey’s fingers every other day so people now he’s a Bad Dude.  And now he’s got Protag to deal with?  MY GOD WILL IT EVER END.  Balance your antagonist’s joy at succeeding with his very real physical and emotional limitations.  Don’t let him have effortless control over whatever power he has, let there be cracks all through the base of his empire.  Let just a smidgen of doubt sneak in.  (Maybe he’s on steroids.  I bet he cheats at cards.  Nobody’s that big of a dick all the time.  His Mom cannot be happy about him.)

Always, always, always maintain that your Antagonist COULD FAIL A lot of time is spent in stories building up your hero so he’s big enough to defeat whatever’s standing in his way.  One of the methods of doing that is by comparing him to the Bigger, Badder, usually Better/More Powerful Antagonist.  This creates a lovely structure for super heroes that gets very old very quick.  You don’t need to climb the oldest mountain in the world to retrieve the Pearl of Wisdom and Good Teeth to finally have enough Inner Peace to lose your braces after 11 years so you can defeat the high school bully.  Create an antagonist that is Bad and In Your Way but also human-enough (or equivalent) to be defeated.  You NEVER have to say this outright in the story.  You just have to remember in writing him that he isn’t the Most Powerful Thing To Live.  Even if people call him the Most Powerful Thing To Live, throw in the idea that he’s only the most powerful right now.  That he had to defeat someone to be the most powerful, and that shows that eventually something will defeat him.  If your antagonist isn’t having to work to stay where he’s at, he’s boring.

In summary:

Antagonist need character.  A full character with strengths/weaknesses/backstory/goals.  They need to fully want those goals and be willing to work as hard as your hero to get it.  They need to truly believe they have the right to their goal and/or that their goal is the RIGHT ONE.  You need to respect your antagonist as if he were your protagonist and not write him as a crazy-faced crazypants to make your Hero look good.  Antagonists have physical and emotional limitations.  They will react according to their developed Character.  Do not make them lazy/negligent at the last moment to save your hero.  And you should love them, just a little, not because they’re good people but because they’re your baby.

[shawnsorangeglasses]

The Opposition - Part 3.1

3.1k words

Shawn is a tightly wound, Type A law student in college. For the most part, he has his life figured out and planned to the minute. Then comes Caroline, a charming Type B and his unlikely equal.

thank you all for being so patient. ...

It's Wednesday. Shawn fears the closer he gets to Friday, the less motivated he is to crash the frat party. This morning, Caroline sent him a text riddled with lowercase letters and several typos to discuss the plan. He's meeting her in front of the library a few hours after his first class. On Mondays and Wednesdays, it's ethics and his third criminal law course in the afternoon. Tuesdays and Thursdays is legal writing and criminal behavior. He loves the work, but it’s nice to do something else, even if it is scheming.

He walks by a group of senior women on the way. They smile and wave flirtatiously, but he keeps his eyes low and walks faster. They laugh.

Caroline is waiting for Shawn on the back of the library's lion statue, conducting her hands to music only she can hear through her earbuds. Of course that's where she is, Shawn thinks to himself. Her sweater, the one from last night, is tied around her waist. She doesn't notice him at first because the song is up at full volume. Bright yellow socks are the only vibrant color she's chosen to wear today in an otherwise plain ensemble.

"You're not supposed to sit on those," he tells her.

Her head snaps around, "Oh, it's just you. Where's Harry?"

"Theater club until 6 PM."

Caroline grunts and groans, rolling rather ungracefully off the metal beast. "How the hell am I supposed to sit through this without him?"

"I'm sure you'll manage." Shawn leads towards the double doors, but a tiny hand latches onto his elbow, stopping him short.

"Can't you just tell me right here in the sun? It's freezing inside."

Shawn taps his heel on the pavement impatiently. "I suppose we can go to the old greenhouse out back."

Caroline cocks an eyebrow. "Oh, he's taking me out back. How scandalous."

"Relax, it's not in use anymore and half the windows are smashed. It's the furthest thing from romantic.

"She circles him, "Uh huh, sure it is."

"It is."

Shawn takes her down a path that’s gone undisturbed for a long time. The greenhouse is obscured by a wall of untamed trees and shrubbery. The only entrance is a gate overrun by vines and ivies. Shawn unlatches the lock and its rusty chain falls limp with a clang.

"After you," he says, permitting Caroline to enter first.

"Are we allowed back here, Mr. Rulebook?"

"This is the only rule you'll ever find me breaking."

Caroline gazes up at the quaint structure in all its decay and ruin. Branches extend in and out of broken windows. She can just make out a misty rainbow in the fog at the very top of the roof. Ironically, it’s probably the prettiest part of the campus she’s seen so far.

"How'd you find this place?"

"Ms. Attie brought me here my first semester. It used to be kind of panic room for me, but I haven't needed it lately."

She takes two steps forward. "Is it safe?"

"There's broken glass and exposed wires everywhere, but you're smart enough. I think you'll live."

“Aw, you think I’m smart?”

He has to smile at his slip up. “I think you’re adept. Don’t get a big head.”

Shawn pats her shoulder and moves ahead. Caroline jogs after him, trying to keep up with his long strides in the tall grass.Inside are only vague reminders of what the greenhouse may have looked like before the wilderness reclaimed it. All kinds of weeds have pushed through the ground floor. Unchecked foliage has made the once spacious house small and humid inside. Caroline picks up one of the few plants that are still in a solid pot, then sets it back in its dust ring.Shawn stops at the iron staircase leading to a platform above.

"This way. Attie said the steps are too corroded to be safe, so we have to use the ladder."

The ladder leans against the second floor ledge with cinder blocks at its feet to keep it in place. It goes straight up into a sunnier ledge, closest to the ceiling. It's the only part of the greenhouse with all the windows still intact. Caroline again goes ahead of him, but loses her footing on a loose rung. Shawn's quick to catch her, grabbing onto her hip. He doesn't let go until she's regained her balance, and even so his fingertips linger on her midriff.

"Any other surprises," she huffs.

"I don't know, maybe? It's been a while."

She smirks down at him, then continues to climb. Each step, she tests the rungs with a few taps before proceeding. Shawn is trying to keep from looking, but she's right there above his head, in shorts. He concentrates on his own steps.

Caroline's feet patter around the platform. "Hmm, I don't know Mendes. This looks pretty romantic to me."He's about to protest again until he makes the top of the ladder. A picnic is set up on one of the metal tables, but clearly abandoned. Shawn sighs.

"Harry must have been here recently with some guy or girl, most likely showing off." He can feel Caroline's eyes on him. "Which is not why we're here, for the last time."

"Alright. Did he leave any non-perishables?"

Shawn sifts through the picnic basket's contents. Every single bag is torn to shreds. "No, looks like the raccoons came through— oh wait, there's a jar of raw honey."

"I call dibs."

"You can have it," Shawn chuckles. "Harrison keeps our kitchen stocked with the stuff."

She takes the jar, holding it up to the sun. "Why did we come here, again?"

"Going over the plan."

"Oh yeah."

Caroline hops up onto a shelf in between two flower bushes, securing her jar of honey at the bottom of her bag. Sun spills shafts of light on her hair, making them a rich brown around the edges.

"The party's on Friday and I know I'm your plus one. We definitely shouldn't stay too long though. What's our out going to be?"

"I could get 'sick' or 'too drunk' and you have to take me home."

"That could work. I say we try to avoid attention altogether though. Kate knows I don't do parties and I won't know how to explain myself."

Caroline pokes a fern and its leaves retract. "Just say you're doing research on college party scenes and how they affect academic accomplishment or something."

"That's...actually a good idea."

She flips her hair and shrugs. "I know."

"Okay, don't get cocky." Shawn nibbles on his thumb. "I guess we're ready?"Caroline tilts her head at him. "You don't sound ready."

"I am very nervous, yes."

"Well don't worry. Just think of it as extreme eavesdropping."

"There's still so many margins of error," he mutters to himself. "Argh, this is why I hate parties. I have no way of actually preparing for this. What if something stupid happens? What if the cops show up? Cops always show up in the movies. Listen to me, comparing real life to the movies-”

"Hey," she slides down from the shelf and puts two hands on his shoulders. Her inky brown eyes penetrate his own. "Don’t spiral. That's why I'm coming with you. We can always improvise. It's gonna be fine. In the name of love, right?"

Shawn takes a deep, shaky breath. She'd been saying this to him since Monday. In the name of love. But Shawn isn't even positive he loves Kate, whatever that means. She just makes him tingly all over. All girls make him a little nervous once they show an interest in him. It isn't even all about love at this point. He just wants everything to go back to normal.

"Right," he says anyway. "In the name of love."

"Okay then," she gives him shake and lets go. "How much time do you have?"

Shawn checks his watch. "About two hours."

"Wanna go eat?" …

The dining hall is flowing with students coming and going. All the major groups have found their respective tables for the hour. Caroline seems to know at least a few people in every clan they pass by on the way to the kitchen, and every person is happy to see her or has some inside joke to share.

"Uh Caroline," Shawn taps her shoulder, "What exactly is your major?"

"I don’t know yet. I really like everything. Why?""

You just seem to know...well, everyone."

"Oh, I had psychology last year. Between surveys and case studies, you kind of meet people. And I made mine so they could be interesting and fun, so they’d come back."

Shawn gazes at a few of the people they passed. Music majors, science majors, even the business majors knew Caroline. A few are looking in his direction. Most people know Shawn from the mock trials because they get published in the school newspaper. His serious reputation has preceded him for quite some time. So naturally, they'd be curious as to why he's suddenly at breakfast with Caroline.

"Everybody's staring," he tells her in a hushed voice.

"Well yeah, it's me standing next to you," she said much louder, already having read the room.

Shawn has noticed the physical contrast of him Caroline before. His lean and broad figure just barely towering over her stocky, compact build is something to behold. They couldn't be more different.

"They might also be staring because of your face," she says as she makes a beeline for the pasta trays.

"What's wrong with my face?"

"Literally nothing. That's why they're staring, genius."

Shawn squints at her. "You have very interesting way of paying me compliments."

She gives him a tender pat on the shoulder. "What are friends for?"

He has to admit to himself, she is entertaining without trying. The honesty that comes with Caroline's words is refreshing. The few girls he's come across in the past hardly ever say what they mean or feel. Kate was one of them.

"Let's sit over there," Caroline nods at a small corner table well lit by a wall of windows. Empty booths are scarce in the cafe. A few feet away from that spot is Jared Price with a handful of law majors. Shawn grabs Caroline’s arm and pulls her behind a wall next to the vending machines. Without meaning to, he’s pinned her into a corner.

“What the hell’s your problem,” she snaps. “I almost dropped my pasta.”

“Shush,” he hisses.

It’s only been a few times that a guy has had Caroline on the wall in this fashion. Shawn’s approach is, of course, in no way romantic and definitely clumsy to say the least. Though she knows it’s probably not intentional, she can’t help but feel the tiniest impulse to misbehave right now.

Shawn’s still tensed up and peering around the corner. She takes a peek. There’s plenty of people to look at and her heart was kind of hoping to see Kate floating in between some of the tables. No one seems to fit the description Shawn’s given her in recent conversations. In fact, his panicked eyes are completed transfixed on a table surrounded by what look like carbon copies of him.

“Must be a law thing to dress like the dean,” she says. “Don’t you want to talk to your kin?”

“Not necessarily,” Shawn says with a shake of his head.

"Well, do you mind," she says looking him up and down. "I'm kind of stuck between a vending machine and a... well, a hard place."

A harsh blush seeps into Shawn's face and neck as he realizes the position he's put them in. Caroline holds her takeout box of food close to her chest in one hand and pushing back on his abs with the other. A wry, all-knowing smile pushes her dimple deeper into her cheek. Shawn bolts backwards.

"S-Sorry, I wasn't trying to-,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, hoping his thoughts would gather up easier that way. “I'm not- I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry."

"No worries Mendes," Caroline pats his chest. "If I have to pinned against a wall by anyone, I'm fine with it being you."

Shawn shields his face with his hand, which is already starting to get clammy and prickly. "Why do you have to make everything so weird?"

"It’s only weird in your head, Shawn. Come on.” She nods in the direction of the other exit, away from the law school table and the rest of the cafe. “We can go eat on the lawn.”

She trots over to the double doors. Her thick messy curls bounce on her shoulders in a manner that's almost teasing. With one backwards shove, she pushes the door open, making room for Shawn to follow after her. He unbuttons his collar, then trudges through the uncomfortable air he’s made for himself. It amazes him how nothing else in the room changes after an encounter so awkward.

The outdoors presents a hot and dry midday heat. As nice as it would be to sit in the air conditioning and eat, Shawn would rather sweat than be stuck arguing about the ethics of this assigned case with Jared Fucking Price.

“Right over here,” Caroline says.

She’s pointing towards one of the few crepe myrtles on campus in the middle of a green lawn. The tree is still young, so it’s shade is small and requires them to sit close if they want to cool off. She’s already made herself at home on the petals scattered at its roots. In any other setting, this whole picture would seem staged, but Caroline looks like she belongs there more than anyone. Shawn takes this brief moment waiting for her to sit down to observe again. Another nuisance of a sensation settles in his gut. He dismisses it as a hunger pain.

He crouches down at her side stiffly. Even in such limited space, he maintains the usual respectful distance. The shaded parts of the grass are soft and cool beneath his palms. Shawn expected to just eat in silence since that’s usually what happens when he’s out with someone other than Harrison. Every time he’s met with Caroline in the past few days, she’s allowed the silence to happen. Now, she’s practically itching to talk.

“So,” she sighs, “are we gonna talk about what that was?”

“I already said I was sorry. Please drop it.”

“Not that,” she sighs. “You totally ghosted your friends the law majors’ table. Why?”

It almost slips out, how much he hates Jared and his elitist herd of followers. Caroline has this way of talking that makes you forget you have secrets. It’s for this reason that he bites his lower lip and chooses his next words carefully. The law department is already a tough enough crowd without them knowing he doesn’t enjoy their miserable company.

“I didn’t ghost anybody worth calling a friend.”

“Oh,” she says, light and flippant in her tone.

“Oh what?”

“It’s just a little cold,” her eyes skirt around his face. “Even for you.”

“You don’t know them, Caroline.”

She throws her hands up. “Hey, I get it. That law department is quite the dickhead factory.”

He shakes his head, well aware that she was throwing him into that lot. “Touchè,” he mutters.

“You always this distant with peers?”

“Do we have to talk about it?”

“No. We don’t have to talk about it,” she eventually says, and she almost sounds sad when she does. “But Shawn, we’ve had these meetings for a few days now. I get that you don’t talk much, but it’s kind of weird not knowing you at all by now.”

"Funny. I believe I've said more about myself in the last four hours than I've told anyone in the last year."

It’s one of those jokes that Shawn thinks is funny at first until no one laughs. It’s even worse in a conversation with only one other person.

“How generous of you,” she deadpans. For the first time since they’ve met, she sounds genuinely irritated with him.

He looks around the environment as if he’ll find something to talk about there. Nothing appears of course and Caroline is still quietly pulling weeds from the grass. Quiet was the intention, but not if it meant her shutting down. He leans back on his hands in the mulch and dirt to stretch his legs out into the sun.

“I wanted to be a musician, you know.”

Caroline’s ears perk up. “That’s...random.”

“Guitar and piano was as far as I got. Long time ago.”

“Were you any good?”

“I was told I was good. I always thought I could’ve been better.”

She snorts, “Yeah sounds about right.”

“Obviously, I changed my mind. Got into debate and ethics in high school.”

“Is that what changed?”

He nods. “So many times the system gets it wrong and sends innocent people to prison. It’s insane, I mean, the amount of laws we have overlapping and changing everyday would surprise you. No scenario is ever so thought out. Not to mention ethics aren’t always in black and white. I could talk for hours about the-”

Shawn grinds to a halt when he finally notices the smile slowly breaking his face. Caroline’s given him her full attention. Somehow, he’s leaned in closer to her, like he does every time he goes on a tangent.

I’m getting carried away,” he sighs.

“No, it’s wonderful,” Caroline cooed. “I’ve never seen you so happy.”

He cocks his head to one side. “Nobody likes a rambler.”

“Guess that makes me the biggest nobody of all.”

She shoulders his arm, rocking him slightly. Shawn’s ears start to burn. He looks down. Caroline’s sweater sleeve has ended up in the mulch somehow. He carefully picks it up, pulling the wood chips gently from the threads before setting neatly onto her thigh. She doesn’t say a word while this is all happening. In fact, she watches his movements intently. He’s going to ask and she wants to be ready.

“I have a question,” he says. “The other night, when you came back to my room for your sweater, why were you— well I thought you were, I don’t know. Maybe I was seeing things-”

“Bawling my eyes out?”

A faint grimace flashes across Shawn’s face.

“I’m not touchy about it,” she assures him. “Short answer is that it belonged to my mom. Then Dad gave it to me when I graduated high school.”

Shawn steals a look at her and she’s smiling softly. “Can I have the long answer?”

Caroline leans back. “It’s a real sob story,” she says loftily. “I’d hate for you start feeling sorry for me.”

“Please, ‘sorry’ is the last thing I’ll ever feel for you, Caroline,” Shawn quips

“Shawn,” says a familiar voice. “Shawn Mendes?”

Shawn looks up and to his disappointment finds Jared Price standing over them casting a condescending shadow at their feet. The other law majors aren’t far behind, coming closer to their spot under the tree. ...

taglist:

@tnhmblive @rulerofnocountry @matchamendes @damselindistressanu @gxccicoffee @yoelleex @5-seconds-of-mendes @darling-shawn @imaginesofdreams @nervousaroundmendes @hiyabich @sinplisticshawn @peterbrokenparker @sauveteen @allaboutthatdrummer @particularnarry @shawnwyr @1am9root

[lunawings]

King of Prism SSS Episode 12 commentary (FINAL!)

Crunchyroll was awesome this time! 

No significant complaints on the subs!

You guys were awesome this time! 

So many people stuck around for the late viewing in the stream and even after just to chat! 

Now on to the actual episode. 

Once again sorry this is so long. But with this being the last one, can you really blame me.....?

.....As much I love this episode, this scene was just so painful. Worse than Shine’s show. Worse than that whole last episode combined. 

A lot of my predictions about Part 4 were wrong (will discuss later) but I was absolutely sure of one thing. I knew no matter what happened in Part 4 just one thing was FOR CERTAIN. And that was... I was going to have to see Shin cry. This precious boy who deserves nothing but love is going to suffer. And I tried to prepare myself. I tried. 

But somehow. Even though I knew. EVEN THOUGH I KNEW... It was way worse than I could have ever imagined.

I always assumed he would cry because he found out about something terrible about the past. But instead HE NEVER KNOWS THE TRUTH and we get him sobbing over something entirely NOT HIS FAULT... in front of everyone.... HOW.... HOW COULD THEY.... DO THIS... TO.... HI...M................ 

This scene upsets me so much I don’t know if I have ever even seen the whole thing. I always end up turning away at some point, or just curling up into a ball.....

Did anyone else feel like they were watching a totally different anime for a few seconds here? I’m having trouble telling if the style actually changed or if I.... just am not used to seeing Shin make expressions like this............. ba.....by..............

Leo always cries when anyone else is crying.

Even though everyone claps for him at the theater at cheering shows, it doesn’t make me feel better. AT ALL. Because Shin never knows the truth. NONE OF THEM DO. Okay we’ll talk about this more later but just..... gah it hurts........................................ So much that it actually hindered my enjoyment of what amazing thing comes next......

Back in the first movie era, the idea of a full CGI show of the Edel Rose boys with Shin as center was something that I could not imagine coming true even in my wildest dreams. And I love this show. I just wish it wasn’t proceeded by so much suffering. 

Shin being their center was something they decided at the Christmas live (before performing Dramatic Love for the first time) BTW. While it seems obvious to us that Shin would be center, it wouldn’t necessarily be as such in-universe. They had to decide at some point! And I’m glad it was a part of that story. 

I LOVE THESE OUTFITS. 

THEYRE PERFECT. The rainbows, the stars, the colors. Everyone looks AMAZING. And I know the rainbows are probably an homage to Over the Rainbow... BUT..

its just so gay

Prism stone beam???

This is orange I guess? It looks more yellow to me. A lot of the hand colors are kinda vague and I’m just like... WHO DID YOU TOUCH 

For anyone who read my I THINK I MARRIED ALL THE EDEL ROSE BOYS. OR THEY MARRIED EACH OTHER. ANYWAY EVERYONE IS MARRIED NOW shitty out of context spoiler I wrote in a comment obviously it was this ahahaha

I really do love this show, and like with the new Shuffle’s show last week I’m so glad I can finally watch it without the.... suffering. 

The first time I saw this in theaters, this exact frame right here was when I first started feeling any semblance of better after all that had happened. He looks so confident and gallant and his eyes are shining and he just.... Shin............... I love you so much....................................................................

Also this is a good spot to talk about their feathers I guess. So these are different from the other (male?) wings Shine had. Why? What does that mean? 

*throws hands in the air*

So, some folks may not be aware of this but the feathers from Rainbow Live were a feature of the arcade game. 

You could unlock them by raising the PairTomos, and even the night dream feathers look like they were available at one time during an event it seems?? I am not entirely sure how it all worked since I never played the game back in the heyday. (You can no longer obtain all the feathers now even if you bring a memory card to a currently running Pretty Rhythm machine since some just aren’t available anymore.)

But anyway, the actual point I was trying to make is that the feathers had a set  structure within Rainbow Live since it was grounded by the arcade game. But in King of Prism...... that just kinda do what they want.... s....o.............

The first time I went to cheering for this it was the premiere date, and it was also the first time I ever did cheering the same day. In between the morning/midnight showing a whole bunch of people had the idea to go to the 100 yen shop and get glowstick rings just for this scene. I was like daaaamn. 

But then...

Our first official non-Crunchyroll translation of prism no kirameki? 

Even the Juuouin group worships “the prism”. 

And I can’t help laugh at the irony that Crunchyroll abandoned using “the prism” but also just ignored the translation ALREADY ON SCREEN

I can’t take his scream here. It’s just like.... HE WAS ALREADY DYING, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS. 

LOUIS. 

LOUIS NOOOOOOOOO. 

Even as late as it is, I am really, really grateful how they took a few seconds to establish for the new audience exactly how much of their shows are powered by prism sparkle. 

Note that they did not change out of their costumes though. But my headcanon on this is that Leo just prefers to make the real thing because he can. 

Singing at cheering shows is also everything I have ever wanted. 

I feel bad though since I pretty much always get tongue tied here every time. It’s hard to just sing acapella to a song you’re not that familiar with. Especially with the sparkely lyrics appearing and disappearing like this. I actually don’t hear that many other people singing in the theater, perhaps for that reason? But I always try my best. 

And now that this is finally out, I can finally practice at home and nail this down with confidence just in time for...... SSS to leave theaters..... um............ ye....ah........

I also mess this up like every single time ahaha. It’s just slightly too fast for me to read. 

Someday I will succeed in properly marrying all of the Edel Rose boys. Someday. 

(Also I don’t think this was rainbow-colored in the theatrical version.)

So Edel Rose and all their fans just up and created a prism goddess so we don’t need the prism gods anymore. Can they do that? Can we do that? I guess we can! 

WE DID IT GUYS

It’s oddly fitting that Hijiri is kind of an ugly crier. I mean, he’s just so beautiful the rest of the time. It’s only right. 

So let’s unpack this for a sec. Unbeknownst to them, because the Edel Rose boys all married each other they put a new seal on Shine. But this seal is entirely dependent on their marriage their bond with each other. 

How literal is that I wonder?

Because like.... Edel Rose won’t last forever. Kakeru, Minato, and Yukinojo are gonna be going to college in a year and a half.... ahah ha.....

I just imagine like. A couple of them meeting on the street in the distant future being like “Oh man I haven’t seen you in forever!” “Yeah! We really lost touch! Hey, have you heard from Shin lately?” “No, you?” And behind them is like a TV report of Shin become Shine destroying a city or something. 

.....................Reminder again that this commentary is coming from the place where I am after having a couple months to let this all sink in and get to the point where I am comfortable joking about it.... ahah ha........ 

This is one of my coping mechanisms for dealing with the idea that my favorite character basically has the devil living inside of him trying to take over at any moment.....

Another one is thinking back to older King of Prism media and wondering what Shine was doing at that time. Like, I imagine him floating there inside Shin all bored and pissed off making sarcastic comments at whatever the Edel Rose boys are doing. And I find this hilarious for some reason. I’d make a webcomic about it if I could draw.

ANYWAY 

So my understanding of this scene (which may or may not be totally correct) is: The Edel Rose boys’ rings put a seal on Shine which drags him down back into the depths of where Rinne first plunged him. But before he goes, he installs(?) his powers into Shin so that Shin is free to use Shine’s powers on his own now. (Up until now he was just like borrowing them?) 

If you also briefly wondered how they could have gotten a perfect score after failing a jump, my guess is the Prism System just wasn’t recording at that time due to the lack of prism sparkle ahah ha. 

They absolutely mopped the floor with the new Shuffle, and it did not matter.

What makes this so nuts to me is that even before I saw Part 4, like way back after I first saw episode 5 I was already comparing Joji to a twisted Hiro. (Elaborated on this in my episode 5 post.) And then this aha. 

So in the theatrical version I swear the crowd here has light blue lights. And I wondered if it was on purpose to be like inverted Hiro (who goes from light blue -> yellow in the Prism King Cup, so Joji went yellow -> light blue?) but nope, I guess somebody just forgot Joji’s theme color is yellow ahaha. In the TV version they just made it multi-colored. 

So to add more context to some things, you may remember I mentioned before that Part 4 premiered in Japanese theaters in the gap between when Taiga and Kakeru’s episodes aired on TV. So by the time Joji’s episode aired on TV... I already knew this was gonna happen. I already knew we were watching the number one prism show. THE CHAMP. The only 2D prism show.... SO MUCH IRONY. 

But you know what. Despite his show being what it was..... After all the time to let it sink in.. After all the dust has settled.... the one solo song which is my clear favorite..... The only one which has gotten stuck in my head WAY MORE than ANY other.... is Joji’s. 

(Well, Ace’s. But still.)

So. 

Congrats Prism Champ. 

Never thought I’d say this but poor Jin. Even when he ACTUALLY TRIES to do something fair for once...... still......

(Goddammit Shine.)

Poor Joji? Or not. It’s hard to feel bad for him when he’s THE PRISM CHAMP ahaha. Like. He made it. He has everything he ever strived to obtain. On the surface anyway. 

How Nori-kun feels about this though, who knows. Will we ever?

DOES IT REALLY NOT? Haha I really don’t understand this at all. Like. Was it really political pressure? Did Jin fold since he didn’t win in the way that he wanted to? Did Kakeru pull some strings behind the scenes again?

*throws hands in the air*

AND THIS

It’s framed to be this super significant scene but

WHAT DOES IT MEANNNNNNNN

I have already touched on this in separate posts, and this post is so long already that I’m going to kind of leave it hanging here but I consider Kakeru’s plot in SSS to be a loose end. He was the only boy who did not have a plot with some kind of resolution about himself. Instead Kakeru’s plot was only about other people.....

FINALLY, the ultimate conclusion to the infamous curry plot of Pride the Hero.

AND FINALLY

YOU

GUYS 

I WAS SO MAD 

The official King of Prism Twitter and such were actually pretty good at hiding Dorachi before Alexander’s episode aired. But Torachi was just EVERYWHERE and I was like COME... ON. REALLY.

So you may have noticed this but he was added to the opening too. For us seeing SSS in the theaters, we only get one OP per showing. So this means Japan actually got this spoiled before episode 10. 

But I didn’t. I didn’t even notice because I just wasn’t thinking to look for it. (Also I guess sitting in a terrible seat to the far right twisting my neck at an angle may have had something to do with it but.) When I first saw the reveal of Torachi in episode 12 it was TOTAL SURPRISE for me......

But as much as I love Taiga though, Dorachi is my clear favorite. My Dorachi merch collection will start as soon as I can get my hands on ANYTHING

Also I wonder at what point Alexander figured out that DJ COO was Rei, because he sure knows now ahah. 

But anyway, speaking of spoilers....

I know I said at one point Nikkanen and the twins didn’t have any significant appearances in SSS, but that was before Part 4 and I just decided not to correct that and let you guys be surprised AHAHAH you’ll just have to hate me *BLASTS OFF INTO THE SUNSET*

(I’m so glad they seem to have cleaned up Nikkanen’s face a little. He looked so weird in the theater. Or like.... weirder at least.)

(If you don’t know these boys they are already established characters introduced on the Prism Rush mobile game.)

And what do THESE feathers mean..... 

LOUIS ISN’T DYING ANYMORE DONT CARE *NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM* 

By the way I can’t believe the prism sparkle disappearing and Louis becoming the protector of the world WAS FORESHADOWED IN ROAD TO SSS 9. That’s why I reblogged this post the other day.

It’s so funny how much of Road to SSS didn’t matter. Then you get to event 9 and LITERALLY EVERYTHING MATTERS. 

And again.... speaking of spoilers............

The week before Yu’s episode aired I AGONIZED about whether to put in some kind of vague hint that the Edel Rose boys new unit name was revealed in that episode (as part of Yu’s prism jump). Ultimately I decided not to. Because even though I didn’t figure it out at the time, I think with even a vague hint I probably would have. Because even when I saw it back then I was like.... “...... huh........” 

So you’re just gonna hafta haaaaaaaaate ahahaahah ha sorry

But anyway! Now I can finally stop referring to our seven stars as the “Edel Rose boys” and from now on call them SeptEntrion! Since calling them just the “Edel Rose boys” isn’t really accurate anymore since it would also include the twins and Nikkanen, etc. I’m happy that the main seven finally have a good name to distinguish them. 

(Now I need to learn to remember how to spell SeptEntrion....) 

Also

You guys in the livestream ruined this for me so I’m ruining it for everyone too.

Look at the red letters. 

Then flip over your desk and storm out of the room like I almost did when I noticed. 

WHY

THERE IS NO WAY THAT IS NOT ON PURPOSE

WHY 

So, a few weeks ago I was in Tokyo and I decided to stop by the Yotsuya station area.

I found the site of the supposed Yotsuya Credit union  (which is actually a lottery ticket stand) and the KPO KFC almost immediately. 

I also found out there is a Catholic university in the area, and although it doesn’t look anything like Edel Rose that seems like not a coincidence. 

So I started to walk around that area, but try as I might I could not find any little  shopping streets like the one in the anime. The area didn’t look like it would have that sort of place at all. Also it was POURING RAIN, I was just at Aqours 5th live the previous day, I had at least 6 hours to get home, and I was anxious to make it there with plenty of time for the stream of Alexander’s episode which we were doing that night. I decided to give up and head to the KFC to console myself over chicken, coleslaw, and biscuits before beginning the journey home when LOW AND BEHOLD 

RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE KFC

WAS THIS 

IT DOES EXIST 

And there is not nearly enough room for SeptEntrion to perform here ahaha. 

I can’t help but notice that while they used Prism One performance snapshots for all the other boys, Shin is in his old Over the Sunshine outfit. Well I mean. OF COURSE HE IS. But.....

But I really can’t help but wonder what the boys are thinking nowadays in retrospect about what happened. 

I mean, not that they shouldn’t love and trust Shin. Of course they should. 

But if my friend turned to pure evil for a solid 15 minutes I would be.... CONCERNED for him? ?? To say the least. 

The fact that THEY DONT KNOW AND MAY NEVER KNOW really just eats at me

I suppose Louis or June could tell them. But I don’t think Louis ever will since he just wants to protect Shin, and June..... where would she even start. 

Not to mention what does Yamada-san think about how Shin just BECAME Wataru Hibiki like I.... I just have several questions but......

The cheering audience for the half second we can see Torachi here: “..............................................................AHHHHH!..................................................”

I wondered for weeks what the TV ED would be for this episode, and as soon as Boy Meets Girl started playing I was like...... OF. COURSE.

Hahah I’m glad though. So far the only SeptEntrion version Boy Meets Girl we’ve had was live (at MRS) and I often thought of ripping the audio from the DVD just to have it, but now I won’t have to. The TV audience never got to hear the theatrical ending 366 Love Diary though, which is kind of a shame. That song is such a big part of SSS to me.

So when we do the livestreams, I often have the live episode playing on my actual TV with the sound off. The stream is delayed by a few minutes so it’s been great for cues to help prepare stuff to type into the chat about things coming up.

While you guys were still in the meat of this episode, I casually glanced over my shoulder and saw THIS on my TV

Shin in the outfit Leo originally made him for the Prism One.

And just started having a seizure that lasted until the credits ended BECAUSE THEN THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE.

Playing to the left is the theatrical weekly video we got in the third week of Part 4. 

(It has actual dialogue in the theaters, but here they just muted it and laid it over the credits. I went to the theater yesterday JUST to take notes on this for you guys ahaha. Glad I didn’t need to though.)

But like. When I first saw this in the theaters... 

I was so SO sure this was a joke. I mean Prism 2!?! Seriously!? 

But now I don’t know WHAT to think. 

ESPECIALLY ABOUT THIS

But um. Someone tell me the anime references I’m missing here:

And which of these are newly revealed YMT29 boys ahah:

And..... that’s it....

This is Louis’ coded way of telling Shin he’ll love him forever I guess. 

Aw man

you guys

we made it

ROUND OF APPLAUSE 

Ahhhhhhhhhh

ITS BEEN A JOURNEY

So Part 4 turned out way differently than I predicted. When the episodes were first announced and episode 12 was “Unknown”, my immediate thought was “it’s gonna be Shine.” Especially since the quote for Shin’s episode was something like “what have I done,” I assumed he would gain some memories of the past in episode 11 and was talking about something he/Shine did in the past. Then I thought Shine would perform in episode 12 and cause a bad end. Even though we knew Edel Rose was scheduled for a unit performance, I was skeptical if it would actually happen or not as I doubted Shin would be in any condition to perform in episode 12. (I also wondered if maybe we already HAD already seen their unit show in the OP and thus wouldn’t be getting a new song.) 

But when the CDs were announced and I saw the last one said “unit song” I was like.... ohhh.... I guess they will perform as a unit after all? That’s good? 

Turns out I was right at least in predicting that Shine would get a show, but not that he would STEAL SHIN’S SHOW, and that Shin’s “what have I done” quote was about THE PRESENT DAY and something that Shin DID NOT DO. AHHH THE PAIN. 

Although it really cuts me deep that Shin never learns the truth, I am grateful we got that unit show and a happy ending. 

But.... 

OR IS IT? 

says a voice in my head.

Shine’s coming back someday. And we can’t kill him without blanking Shin. Hghkhgkdhlkdh.

If I didn’t know any better I’d say the grand endgame climax of King of Prism would be SeptEntrion teaching Shine to love. But we already know from director spoilers that supposedly the grand climax is about saving Jin. I have a sinking suspicion Shine and Jin may be connected in some way though. 

Who fucking knows where we’re going from now. 

Other than WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON with Jin, another one of my big questions is does the Prism King Cup even matter anymore? Since the Prism One was supposed to replace it, but that didn’t go so well. HAHAH are we REALLY doing the Prism Two come on now..........

But anyway. I suppose there is no point in drawing this out it any further

for now

this is THE END

Thank you all SO MUCH for coming on this journey with me

It’s been such a joy sharing all this with you

And I hope to see you around

SHINY SEVEN STARS FOREVER

EDEL ROSE SPARKING

[wkakadrac]

Re:Warhammer The Old World

Since some people might recall my older posts on Tumblr being on Warhammer-related matters, and having poured easily $1000-$2000 USD between when I entered in 2001 and left in 2013, I feel like I’d be a bit negligent if I did not offer my opinions on the announcement for Games-Workshop bringing back the Warhammer Fantasy line.

Are you ready?

I’m tentative. Not tentatively optimistic, not tentatively excited, just tentative.

On the one hand, Warhammer Fantasy had something... unique, if you will, to a bit of its fantastical flair. It was a rather decently fleshed out fantastical world fit for mainstream production but also took efforts to differentiate itself from a lot of its competition. Its mainstay human Empire was notably - predominantly - Germanic in inspiration, for example, and the technology generally hovered somewhere between “On the cusp of Pike and Shot” to “Solidly Pike and Shot” depending on which books you read. The Elves were not the oldest race, but instead the Lizardmen were (who, for that matter, had both the traditional “Simple cold blooded warrior-beast” thing going for them with the Saurus and Kroxigors but also “Functional society with sophisticated artisans and philosophy” with the Skinks, too). 

It featured Bretonnians who went all in on some of the more superhuman aspects of Arturian Legend. It featured the start of the “Big, green, musclebound Orcs” trend (much of the portrayals before tending to be more blatantly porcine and / or ‘broken’ Elf in nature). It had Not!Ancient Egyptian who were explicitly polytheistic and made use of chariots who at times even lead mortal kingdoms instead of doing nothing but brooding in ancient pyramids planning the death of Lion-Oh. It had... I think you get the point. There was a lot of interesting lore aspects to it.

Not only that, the setting was generally rich in lore (surprisingly so for a mere war-game). Supplements like the Liber Chaotica / Necris, the complex history of Dwarves and Elvish mythology, how a lot of army books originally spent literally dozens of times as much length providing narrative hooks as they did rules (and sometimes even having as much pages of alternate rules / army lists as base rules, so as to give armies more unique flair).

This was stuff that caught my interest when I picked up the hobby ages ago, both in a way that 40K just couldn’t satisfy as well as missing some of the aspects I came to eventually recognize as... rather concerning / problematic. Not missing it outright by any means, but being less obvious / prolific.

But that brings me to exactly where I feel like the Warhammer Fantasy revival could be... less than inspiring. Horrifying, even.

Warhammer Fantasy is a setting that makes no effort to hide that its map is - barring a few subtle and not-so-subtle changes - a rather blatant mimic of our own. You have Not!Europe, situated above Not!Africa and connected to Not!Asia. Across the ocean you have the Not!Americas, broken up into familiar Not!North and Not!South American versions. There are nations such as “Ind”(ia) and “Arabay”, and the aforementioned Not!Egyptians. The faction settled in Not!South America blatantly cribs off various Mesoamerican aesthetics, the one on the Not!Steppes from pop culture Mongols, the Not!Russians going so far as to borrow terms like Cossack, etcetera.

This in and of itself is not horrifying. Warhammer Fantasy wears this openly on its sleeve, and it provides some ease in identifying / characterizing things without having to flesh them out too explicitly in text. 

Where it does become problematic is how... shall we say, regressive a lot of the major Wargaming communities are, as well as how some of the lore has been handled. And how this might interact with things such as... say, a once powerful faction re-awakening and deciding to forcibly expel the outsiders, reclaim their stolen wealth, and make their nation powerful again. Or how a certain landmass is presented as being populated predominantly by Green-skinned savages who almost universally throw spears (let alone the formal name for their Bolt Thrower war machines), wear war paints, and operate in tribal structures. How one of the major four Chaos gods is heavily coded to represent - in an unfavorable light - the LGBTQ+ spectrum. How another of the major Chaos gods is blatantly - explicitly - referred to in older lore in a manner synonymous with signs of abuse... and has increasingly been whitewashed as being “The good one” or “The only one who truly loves you” or “Hurting his followers because he loves them” in an unironic light. 

Basically, there is an ungodly amount of room for things to - if handled either less than tactfully or even just mindlessly carried back over without any revision - go terribly wrong, and that’s without assuming purposefully hostile intent!

From a business standpoint, it’s relatively easy for WHFB’s revival to become a sort of money printing exercise for GW. Outside on-demand square bases and publishing some additional books, there’s relatively minimal work that needs to be done for such an endeavor due to the cross-compatibility between lines (Daemons are by default meant for 40K and AoS / Fantasy, for example, and a lot of the AoS line remains old WHFB ones repurposed for AoS). 

But from a community / Lore standpoint, I cannot help but see so many potential areas this revival could enable some of the worst aspects of modern Wargaming communities. Warhammer 40K was never exactly spotless, but it at least had a degree of separation due to the Sci-Fi veneer. Warhammer Fantasy has the real-world expies baked in.

[vincent-marie]

The Oft Overlooked A BUG’S LIFE

A BUG’S LIFE…

What can I really say about this movie that other animation fans on the internet haven’t already? It was critically dubbed Pixar’s most mediocre film before the horror that is the CARS franchise.

I was about nine years old when this film came out, and I really liked it then. Honestly, I still kind of do, but admittedly some of it is nostalgia on my part and I’m well aware that it could have been better.

Like I said, this film has been talked about by other online critics about how it is okay, at best. That it was just the Pixar placeholder in between the first two TOY STORY movies. However for the purposes of this article I would actually like to highlight some of the good things about this movie, or at least my reasoning for why I still have a fondness for it.

Now before I continue I do feel like I should address two big elephants in the room: Namely, John Lasseter and Kevin Spacey. Knowing what we know now about them, if you can’t watch this movie without feeling uncomfortable, I totally understand. I’ll admit it makes me a wee bit uncomfortable to watch the film now, and more so the behind-the-scenes featurette on the DVD. (Wish I could blur their ugly faces when they’re being interviewed…)

However my opinions of this film on its own have nothing to do with them or whatever they contributed to the film, so they are irrelevant to what I have to say here. As far as I’m concerned if they hadn’t been involved in the film someone else would have taken their place, and those other people would have done just as good a job, if not better. Not to mention they would have been able to do it without being complete and utter creeps. To conclude, Lasseter can go suck a jellyfish and I hope Spacey rots in hell.

I’m going to primarily talk about the things I like about this movie, both then and now. But before I get to that I’m going to talk about why I agree with most critics who consider this one of Pixar’s lesser films.

A big problem with the movie is primarily the story and characters being a bit weak.

Part of that problem is the story’s initial structure. It’s clearly a retelling of Akira Kurosawa’s SEVEN SAMURAI; village is being attacked by thugs, one villager leaves to get help in the form of warriors, villager brings back help, and they successfully fight off the invaders.

Probably the biggest difference in story is SAMURAI ended on a bittersweet note due to casualties among the samurai themselves, whereas BUG’S LIFE didn’t have any real casualties on the heroes’ side. That said, though, it’s funny that the ants seemed so damn certain there would be.

Initially modeling an original story off of a classic isn’t a bad thing in of itself. Back when I was in college it was something a lot of my writing and animation professors encouraged: learn from the classics. Not just film, but also literature and mythology.

The thing is SEVEN SAMURAI as a film was three to four hours long. It had time to accommodate for its fairly large cast, while still keeping its focus on a select few.

BUG’S LIFE, however, was only maybe an hour and fifteen minutes long. The writers probably could have stood to trim down some of the Bug Circus and take time to polish the story rather than try to give EVERYBODY an opportunity to have a funny line.

Having a couple ensembles in place isn’t a bad thing. They had that in TOY STORY with Andy’s toys, the Little Green Men in the claw machine, and the mutant toys. The groups, however, were smaller in that movie, and in the case of the Mutant Toys they had no speaking lines and had to convey everything with silent acting.

However something that’s been pointed out is that with Pixar films there was always a real progression in technical quality. That with each movie they got better and better with the tool of their trade that was CG animation.

Let’s look back at TOY STORY. The reason they made the characters plastic toys was because that’s just what their character models at the time always looked like. It would be a long way before they could even consider rendering complex fur textures for MONSTERS INC., and more complex still Merida’s tangled head of hair in BRAVE. It’s why the human characters in TOY STORY also look a bit weird and plasticky by today’s standards.

With TOY STORY they accomplished lively character animation in 3D. With TOY STORY 2 they managed to make better looking, less stiff human models like Al of Al’s Toy Barn, and slightly nicer fur textures on Buster the dog. MONSTERS, INC. had the aforementioned complex fur textures for Sully and some pretty decent early snow effects.

So what did BUG’S LIFE accomplish on a technical level?

Two words: textures, and lighting.

The last time I watched BUG’S LIFE I was absolutely FLOORED by how beautiful the set pieces were.

Take this scene of Flik giving Dot a pep-talk.

All that detailing in the blades of grass in the background, the pebbles on the ground, the textures on the pebbles, the textures on Flik’s contraption, and even the textures on the characters. It blows my mind trying to imagine how long it took to create those models, differentiate between the more see-through nature of the grass blades and the opacity of everything else, and arrange them in a way that makes for a convincing bug’s eye view of a patch of grass.

Then there’s the scene of the grasshoppers breaking into the anthill.

TOY STORY had some decent lighting that helped establish the needed atmosphere, but I don’t recall it being nearly this crisp.

Once again, there’s the textures on the objects and characters. As a kid, while I was aware the film was CG animated, I found myself speculating if the grasshoppers’ muzzles were made of foam rubber.

These were all things I took for granted as a kid, because I did not yet have the experience to know just how much work and skill it takes to make 3D animation.

This is a still from a minute-long film I made in a 3D computer animation class. I was given maybe only a couple months to make it. That included having to navigate my way through these complex computer programs I was completely unfamiliar with, and technical difficulties like the textures not grafting onto the models right. Let me tell you, it was a pain in the ass.

I look at the backdrops for BUG’S LIFE and I’m left to ask: “How many computers CRASHED trying to render all that?” Because, believe me, that happens. A lot.

Also, here’s the thing. When technical elements of a film are done well, such as lighting or camera focus, the audience LITERALLY doesn’t notice it. They’re too swept up in the story because the visual storytelling keeps up the illusion for them. The audience only notices important technical details like this when they’re done BADLY, hence a lot of people outside the film industry really take for granted just how much work and skill is taken into making a film that looks good.

(It’s why I think everyone should watch FOOD FIGHT at least once in their lives, especially animation fans.)

Okay, while it is inevitable that I would bring up Dreamworks’ ANTZ, I’m not going to talk too much about it. (It’s like the Cola Wars; everyone inevitably picks a side.) All I’ll say for now is I’ve always preferred BUG’S LIFE because it’s nicer-looking design-wise and its content and execution is more family-appropriate. (Also, in 1998 we didn’t know at the time Kevin Spacey was a creep, but everyone and their DOG knew Woody Allen was. Nice job, Dreamworks!)

It’s been pointed out that there’s a distinct casting difference between ANTZ and BUG’S LIFE. ANTZ had a cast of recognizable movie actors, while BUG’S LIFE had a cast of recognizable television actors.

For BUG’S LIFE that’s not necessarily a bad thing. One of the things that bothers me about celeb casting in animated movies is that oftentimes it feels like a flimsy attempt at star-power when said stars don’t have the power to elevate the characters. Actors who might be good front of a camera but bring nothing to a recording booth.

However for the most part Pixar has been really good at casting well-known actors who actually fit their characters and add some personality to them. BUG’S LIFE was no exception.

In fact, quite a few of them had loaned their voices to animation before this film, and some damn good performances too.

And I can name at least one BUG’S LIFE alum who graduated from funny performance to heartfelt performance with Pixar…

(… I’m not crying! YOU’RE crying!)

But I digress. I consider the casting for this movie pretty solid. (With the obvious exception of Kevin Spacey.)

What’s more, growing up I remember a lot of the TV spots for Pixar films usually down-played the celeb cast and let the product speak for itself. The celeb casting was less of a selling point for the films and more like a fun little Easter egg for the parents who had to take their kids to the theater.

Earlier I stated that the story and characters in BUG’S LIFE are a bit weak, and I stand by that. However there are a couple characters I’d like to highlight here as I’ve always found them interesting and memorable in their own ways.

First, let me talk about Hopper for a minute.

(I’ve already stated that Kevin Spacey can rot in hell, so there will be no more of that.)

I’ve heard criticism about Hopper as a character that he was a very bland, one-dimensional villain. To be fair, they’re not wrong.

But the thing I always liked about Hopper is that his one and only goal is to hold dominion over the ant colony. To keep them under his foot, both literally and figuratively, and he wasn’t afraid to use deadly force to do that. He was willing to kill a few of his own goons just to illustrate a point. That’s how threatening he was.

In a lot of children’s media I had seen up to that point, there were several bully characters that were often portrayed as the bigger kids who would demand your lunch money. They were usually ineffectual doofuses like Bulk and Skull from POWER RANGERS, or kids with serious insecurities like Binky Barnes from ARTHUR. While not the first of his kind, Hopper was one of the first characters I had ever encountered as being a prime illustration of not just a bully, but one who had the makings of a dictator.

With his rather one-note motivation, I can see why audiences found him bland, but given his violent means of staying in power, I’m glad they didn’t try to make him “complex” or give him any sympathetic character traits.

Frankly, we live in an age where horrible people are romanticized in the media as being “misunderstood”. I feel like, unlike those media outlets or the upcoming JOKER movie, BUG’S LIFE gets it. They don’t deserve to be portrayed with humanity. These people are monsters. Nothing more.

Maybe if Pixar hadn’t felt the need to rush the production maybe Hopper is one of many characters that could have been polished up a bit in the writing process. Give him some more distinct, memorable traits as a character. Maybe hints at a backstory of Hopper having a long-standing history of using and abusing others, and always getting away with it.

(When I put it that way, we can just say Hopper is the John Lasseter Story. Just draw a pair of glasses and a tacky shirt on the guy and it’s a spitting image.)

The other thing I’ve always liked about this movie was the portrayal of Princess Atta.

Besides being the first Pixar Princess, I always liked how, unlike the Disney Princess pantheon up to date in the late 90s, Atta actually had a bit of a character arc related to the fact that… well, she’s royalty! She’s going to have to take over the colony eventually as queen.

We see this from the beginning as she’s overseeing the harvest and going into a panic when things go even slightly wrong. Also, I find it interesting that it’s a guy that screws everything up when Flik accidentally destroys the food offering, yet she’s the one who gets blamed for it. (Ironic commentary coming from the studio led by an egotistic creep who wouldn’t let women in on meetings.)

But what I loved about her as a kid was that her personality and approach to things was a lot more real and down-to-earth than your average glamorous Disney Princess. She felt less like fairy tale royalty and more like a woman up for promotion at a big company. From a pragmatic standpoint that can be just as scary, stressful and daunting.

(It also feels appropriate in hindsight considering her voice actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus would later star on VEEP…)

My friend @baxterfilms and I have had a lot of discussions about this movie, and we agreed that Atta should have been the protagonist. She actually has a character arc of her own of being unsure of herself at the start of the film, taking charge in the second act, and eventually standing up to Hopper in the third.

Remove Flik entirely, and have her go on a journey to find reinforcements against the grasshoppers. Have her realize that Hopper’s demands are impossible, she’s sick of having to adhere to him, and have her sneak out to get help. When she finds out she literally brought home a bunch of clowns, she understandably freaks out. She has to figure out a resolution because there is a lot of pressure on her to make things right and free the colony from bondage.

Strangely enough, with that version of the story you could still probably have all the indulgent fun of the celebrity cast. It’s just the very core of the film’s story needed some serious tightening up, and maybe Dave Foley as Flik would have fared better as a comic relief sidekick.

With all that said, I thank you for taking the time to read this. I really do think that this film is highly under-appreciated in the animation community. There might have been trouble in the writing room, but the technical achievements in this film were still there and helped Pixar hone their craft into making their animated features as stunning as they are heartwarming.

I have to say, though, I find it funny that there’s almost a pattern to these insect-driven animated movies. Going all the way back to MR. BUG GOES TO TOWN, they usually have rather weak leading characters, and the supporting cast winds up leaving more of an impression.

Weird, huh?

[ariadnelives]

Chapter 15 -- The Recovery

[Missed earlier chapters? Go catch up here! Otherwise, welcome back! Oh, and make sure to join our discord server! Chapter can also be found @ ao3”]

It had been two and a half weeks since ViLaz had come aboard. Deathsbane had kept her on a steady drip of her regenerative catalyst, which was a world of help integrating the new cybernetic parts Ariadne and Alicia had built to replace what she'd lost in the fire.

It was physically easy to treat her. She seemed conscious, but somewhat unresponsive. She stood when left standing, she sat when offered a chair, she would take no initiative to feed herself, but when food or water was placed in front of her she seemed to know what to do with it. She offered no resistance and followed instructions when Ariadne attempted to recalibrate her new legs, or when Sasha attempted to sponge-bathe her.

She did not speak unless spoken to, and when giving a response, she didn't waste words. Her tone was flat and vacant, as though her mind had left her body to attend to some other business, and in her place was a completely thoughtless AI who'd been given the sole directive to keep her from dying, so long as it wasn't too much of an inconvenience.

After a few days, she seemed to come out of her shell a bit. It was clear that she was, in fact, present and alert, although she was also experiencing some of the most profound grief imaginable, and the consensus on the ship was that “on this ship, that's saying something.”

She was cautious and guarded, and she wouldn't talk about herself, but she found something comforting about eating next to other people, especially other teenagers. There was an energy that came with being around people her own age that she didn't realize she'd been craving until she was surrounded by it. She'd spent pretty much her entire life eating flavorless meals alone, and she only had her father for company.

She avoided this line of thought. Her father was probably furious with her for defying the will of the Red God. She hoped he believed her to be dead, because she figured if he knew she was alive, he'd be along any minute to finish the job.

Deathsbane had been shocked, when examining her, to find a piece of cybernetic equipment that they had not installed at the base of her skull. It was no larger than a fingernail and had been heavily damaged by the flames, but Ariadne and Alicia were hard at work trying to divine its purpose.

Sweettalk had been a great help in showing her around the ship, getting her well-acquainted with the crew, and getting her settled in her very own quarters. Her condition had improved enough that she would no longer need to stay in the infirmary, and they'd made it clear she was welcome to a bed and a roof for as long as she needed one.

Of course, Sweettalk was one of the few people who could comfortably have an entire conversation with someone who didn't respond once, so ViLaz felt more comfortable around her. It helped that Sweettalk was close with the girl who'd healed her burns as well. ViLaz had never experienced people being so welcoming before. This was a group who took shock and offense when someone was ashamed of themselves, and not one of them ever told her that she deserved it for being a sinful, wicked child.

The sight of her cybernetics was still somewhat jarring. The serum managed to prevent scarring on the parts of her body that had not been removed, but her prosthetics were not at all subtle.

To start, Ariadne had improved on the life-support system they'd initially developed and constructed new, more stable, permanent replacements for her vital organs. Then, she and Alicia moved on to replacing her lost limbs. It was easy to use the tech behind Ariadne's mechanical legs to make metal skeletal structures that responded to ViLaz' thoughts as well as her original limbs, and bionic eyes were common enough that she could be fitted with one almost immediately. They even knew how to synthesize self-repairing fibers that could be woven into new muscles, and with some effort, they even developed a form of synthetic skin with artificial nerve endings, so her prosthetic limbs had a sense of touch.

The problem was the appearance of these modifications. They were sleek and modern and they felt so organic that if she couldn't see herself, she might have never realized she ever lost a part of her body. They were also a stark, metallic white and had electric blue accents.

“I'm sorry about this,” Ariadne said the first time she saw herself, “these are just prototypes so you can get a feel for them, we didn't have time to make them look realistic. We're working hard to get you a better model, okay?”

ViLaz told her not to rush, and that she wasn't really concerned with her prosthetics looking realistic. She didn't tell her that her whole life her appearance had been strictly controlled. The acolytes who cut her hair would actually measure the length, before and after, every single time, and she had no say in how it was cut or styled, or what she wore, or whether or not she wanted intricate red patterns drawn on her face. She actually kind of liked looking like she was half-machine, there was a certain freedom in knowing she was so far outside how the acolytes wanted her to look.

When her mind went down this road she was struck with a pang of shame. She'd disappointed the acolytes. She'd failed her father. She'd committed blasphemy against her lord. She had sinned and she had escaped the flames of righteous punishment the Red God had intended for her and he would be at her doorstep any minute to cast her into the pit of fire where she belonged.

She often wanted to hit herself, quite literally as she'd been taught self-flagellation as a form of penance her whole life, for having such sinful and rebellious thoughts. Ariadne and Pilar, however, would often sit with her late into the night just to make sure she was okay, and for some reason she couldn't stand the thought of hurting herself in front of people who'd gone to such lengths to ensure her safety.

There were other days when she found relief in the idea that the Red God made it clear that she'd failed her final test, lost any chance of salvation, and that she'd be sent to hell no matter what she did now, so she might as well have fun in the meantime. These were the relatively good days, which Ariadne found incredibly disheartening, because that's still a pretty negative outlook on life.

“You know,” Sweettalk pointed out from the next bed in the infirmary, popping red candies into her mouth while Sasha checked the progress of ViLaz' burns. There was absolutely nothing medically wrong with her, but she was off-duty and liked to spend her downtime with Sasha. “You fit in here a lot better than you think you do. I mean, we've all got some pretty heavy baggage.”

“I didn't bring any baggage,” ViLaz replied, confused.

“Emotional baggage,” Sasha explained, “she means that you're not alone, and everyone here knows what it's like to be in a hopeless situation or they wouldn't have ended up here. Lift your arm, please.”

ViLaz lifted her arm.

“Yeah, exactly,” Sweettalk continued and ate another candy, “I mean, hell, my shitty past is strapped to the bed right over there.” She gestured across the room at Prescott. “Yeah asshole, we're talking about you.”

“Hey, how come I don't get fancy bionics like her?” asked Prescott, who had long since given up struggling against his restraints.

Sweettalk spat back, “she's a teenage girl who got set on fire through no fault of her own and needed life-saving treatment. You're a 20-year-old conman who lost three fingers when you got caught robbing a church.”

“Also you tried to bite the doctor after she reattached your original fingers,” Sasha added helpfully. “If you wanted bionics so bad you should've left them on the ship.”

The side of ViLaz' face that still had organic skin turned red. “It was my fault,” she muttered.

“Hey, I don't want to hear that,” Sweettalk said flatly, “that's my friend ViLaz you're talking about and she's done nothing to deserve being set on fire, you hear?”

ViLaz did not agree with this sentiment but it was clear that Sweettalk could argue that water was dry and win, so she didn't press on it.

“Anyway,” Sweettalk went on, shaking a handful of candies out of the bag, “if you're worried about those church guys coming to find you, you're in the right place. This place was made for kids who need to hide from bad people. Like, literally. You should've seen the people Ariadne was hiding from. Oh, and what happened to them when they tried to track her down? Basically what I'm saying is, if someone tries to hurt you here, they're the ones who are gonna get hurt. Candy?”

Sweettalk offered her the handful of red candies and ViLaz saw that they were in the shape of small fishes. They were made of a gel that looked medicinal to her, but she politely took exactly one and popped it in her mouth.

It was overpoweringly sweet and sticky. “It's delicious,” ViLaz gasped, “is all candy this good?”

Sweettalk sat up sharply. “Shut up! You've never had candy?!”

“Shut up” was not a phrase ViLaz realized could be said in a friendly tone of voice and she flinched upon hearing it.

“I'm sorry!” She whimpered, “I'm sorry, I'll be quiet, I'm sorry.”

Sweettalk was shocked by this reaction and adjusted her voice to be almost too friendly in an attempt to compensate. “Hey, it's okay! It's just a figure of speech, I don't actually want you to be quiet. I was just surprised you'd never tasted candy before, okay?”

ViLaz sat silently, embarrassed beyond belief.

“I think I know what we've got to do,” Sasha said, placing her hand softly on ViLaz' shoulder, then turning to Sweettalk. “Call Cookie. Get her to send up three of every kind of candy we've got. We're having a tasting.”

“Can I—” Prescott began to ask from across the infirmary.

“NO.” Sweettalk and Sasha snapped in unison.

“I'm hungry,” he whined, “and you won't let me go to the mess hall myself.”

“Yeah, we tried that and you tried to steal all our food and hijack a shuttle.” Sasha replied.

“So, what, everyone's allowed to come and go as they please but me?” Prescott asked incredulously.

“Awww, you've finally grasped the concept of being held captive!” Sweettalk crooned sarcastically, as though she was talking to a baby. “But, we technically shouldn't let you starve, so I'll tell Cookie to whip you up a nice bowl of plain oatmeal and a glass of water in case it's too spicy.”

Several minutes later, Cookie filed in with two full carts of various candies and a single bowl of lukewarm oatmeal. Prescott's restraints were loose enough that he could move his arms to feed himself, and he briefly considered throwing the oatmeal against the wall to prove a point, but upon considering how many people in the room he'd thrown under various buses, he decided they would be unlikely to provide him with a replacement meal and opted instead to eat it.

For the next hour or so, Sasha took a break from inspecting ViLaz' progress and the three girls all sat on the same bed, trying different kinds of candy. It was the first time ViLaz had ever truly felt what it was like to have friends, and for a moment she forgot about all of the grief and shame she'd been carrying since she arrived. It was, up to that point, the single best experience of her life.

It was to be short-lived. In the drowsy, saccharine haze of their candy feast, known to most as a “sugar crash,” they heard Ariadne’s voice crackle over the intercom.

“Sweettalk, Deathsbane, you’re gonna want to get up here on the double. Bring ViLaz, she should see this too.”

After checking that Prescott’s restraints were extra-tight, the three girls hustled up to the War Room and found Ariadne and Spacebreather sitting around a hologram of a young girl standing on a stage in flowing robes.

“Is that me?” ViLaz looked puzzled. “Before… you know…”

“Really seems to be you, doesn’t it?” Ariadne asked, “problem is, this hologram was taken an hour ago.”

“I don’t understand…” ViLaz struggled to process this news.

“Sweettalk was right,” Deathsbane muttered.

“Confirms a working theory we had before your rescue. You’re not the only girl they’ve been using as a mouthpiece. One of your sisters, or half-sisters—”

“I don’t have any sisters,” ViLaz couldn’t make sense of what she was hearing. “I’m the sole scion of the Zealot.”

“What do you mean?” Pilar asked.

“My father’s bloodline was chosen as the vessel of the Red God on our plane, but his body was flawed and impure. He couldn’t contain the power of the Red God, and he was to be the last of his bloodline, but by His providence, a daughter was born. I was to be the Red God’s vessel, but in my weakness I rejected his glory and he…” ViLaz could not continue.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“Honey,” Ariadne said, “did your dad tell you all of that?”

“No,” ViLaz responded, “the Red God did.”

“Come again?” Pilar asked.

“The Red God. He appeared to me regularly in my chamber, to prepare me for his coming. He spoke through me and spread his word to the people of Mars.”

Pilar and Ariadne exchanged a glance and Ariadne shuffled through a few papers. “Your chamber, suge, did it look anything like this?”

Ariadne held up the schematics of the immersion pod they’d picked up from La Pesadilla.

“That’s it. How did you get this…?”

“Did the Red God ever appear to you outside this pod?” Ariadne asked.

“No, we’d converse in the chamber and he’d speak through me when I left it.” ViLaz was shocked to see her chamber, where she’d grown up, laid out as a blueprint in front of her.

“Hon, this chamber is a highly advanced piece of technology. They use it to put thoughts in your head, control your dreams. I suspect the Red God was nothing more than one of those Acolytes trying to program the hell out of you, pardon the pun.”

“You’re wrong,” ViLaz said, knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that Ariadne was not wrong.

Ariadne tried to keep her tone slow and gentle. “We got these schematics from a lady who’s had run-ins with your daddy before. He uses these pods to show people visions of whatever it took to get them to join his church, be it dead relatives or Jesus himself—”

“Who’s ‘Jesus?’” ViLaz asked.

“I… have no response to that,” Ariadne said calmly, “but I want you to think rationally for a moment. What’s more likely, that your dad bought up a bunch of brainwashing beds and mind control chips, then you just happened to grow up in a bed that showed you visions of god, and occasionally someone else took control of your body? Or is it more likely that those things are connected?”

ViLaz knew the correct answer but felt unable to acknowledge it. “You’re wrong, I can’t explain it, but—”

Ariadne looked exasperated. “If you can’t explain it then why do you believe it?”

“Vi,” Deathsbane cut in as calmly as she could while still making it clear it was her turn to talk, “we removed a computer chip from the base of your skull when you got here. It was too damaged to recognize at first, but I’d bet it lines up to the schematics we’ve got for this mind control device.”

ViLaz rubbed the back of her neck, knowing that any surgical wounds were healed by now. “There … was a chip in my skull?”

“Occam’s razor,” Pilar pointed out. “Someone else was able to override your free will. The Zealot is known to be in possession of mind control devices. You had an unknown device lodged in your brain. Seems silly to assume those three things are just coincidence.”

“It does…” ViLaz sighed. “But I never knew about any sisters. He told me I was his only child… the only hope for the Red God’s rebirth …”

“Pressure trick,” Ariadne offered. “He made you think everything was riding on you so you’d be extra scared to fail.”

ViLaz looked ashamed.

“Frankly,” Ariadne said, “I admire you for finding the courage to do what you did. I know you might feel like a failure as a daughter right now, and believe me, sugar, I’ve been there, but I hope you know we’re all very proud of you for asserting your free will, and I want you to know that we will do whatever we can to win the freedom of every other man, woman, and child under his control.”

ViLaz looked at Ariadne, then around at a room full of friendly faces, which was something she’d never seen before arriving at Ship Trap. “You’re proud of me?”

“Of course we are,” Sweettalk said, “you totally saved our butts back there, and you had everything to lose. You’re a badass.”

ViLaz gave a hint of a smile, but then furrowed her brow. “What’s ‘badass?’”

[aliceslantern]

Beyond this Existence: New Life, short 3--Insomnia

Recovery is a tedious, nonlinear process. Demyx, Ienzo, and the others living in Radiant Garden's castle have to learn to come to terms with their pasts and their memories, learn to grow, and begin to understand what, exactly, it means to be human. While there is unexpected joy in this, there is also unexpected sorrow. A series of oneshots set after Beyond this Existence.

Current short: Insomnia. Ienzo has trouble sleeping.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

----

Ienzo could not stop his eyes from fluttering shut. Demyx’s cheerful, lively chatter seemed to go in one ear and out the other, leaving him with bits and fragments.

“--you would not believe what the guy had done, somehow got the handle in his eye . We had to sedate him but he was still freaking out--”

“--the thing is after that, he could still see--”

“--And then after that he used the same pan, the same fucking pan, to make noodles for us as a thank you. I mean, of course he washed it, but it’s just wild--”

The chatter faded to a dull hum, and for a second there was no sound, nothing at all. His head snapped up. Demyx had pursed his lips in exasperation. “You know,” he said, “You could have told me to shut up, instead of letting me literally bore you to sleep.”

Ienzo rubbed his eyes. They were hot, and raw. “It’s not that,” he said. “I’m simply very tired.”

“Long day?” he asked.

“Not quite.” A little flutter of anxiety made him shiver. “I think I may be catching cold.”

“Oh, yeah, something’s really going around. I wouldn’t be surprised.” Demyx reached over and touched Ienzo’s forehead. Ienzo, in his exhaustion, realized how stupid it was to lie about sickness when he had a healer sitting right across from him. “That’s weird. I don’t feel anything off. You want me to get you one of the cures anyway?”

Ienzo hesitated. Thinking seemed physically difficult. He could not quite string the right words together. “I likely just need some rest.”

“So go get some sleep, babe. You don’t have anything to do this afternoon, right?”

He almost told Demyx. He should’ve. It was a hard thing to admit. Still harder when his mind felt so foggy. “Well--I told Ansem that I would help him debug that new operating system--”

“He’s a big boy. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” His eyes were so soft, crinkling slightly at the corners, as they always did when he was concerned. “Do you want some tea or something? It might make you feel bet--”

“I am fine.” The words came out sharply.

Demyx frowned. “If you insist,” he muttered.

Ienzo sighed. “I apologize. I suppose I’m a bit grouchy.”

He crossed his arms. “I probably need a nap too. I was using magic all morning.” He tugged at the sleeves of his shirt. “So I guess I’ll catch you later?”

Ienzo nodded, and watched him leave. This was no good. He had to try again. How long had it been exactly since he’d last slept? It was hard to tell. Too long.

He crossed back over to his bedroom. He was starting to detest this space, its claustrophobia, the drafty window. Ienzo settled himself in bed, another shudder of anxiety breaking the ease of stillness. He shut his eyes. Counted to ten, then twenty, then a hundred, trying to soften his muscles. The bed was comfortable. There was nothing wrong with the bed.

The fact that it was the middle of the day made no difference. The same thing happened at night. It seemed as though every night that passed since the coma made sleep a more distant memory. There was also the fact that he’d become accustomed to sharing the space, and being held, and Demyx’s odd training schedule meant he was now often alone at night. He wasn’t used to dependence, and certainly didn’t like how it felt. Ienzo had been so self-sufficient for so long, and this felt like an even bigger setback.

He drew the second pillow into his arms, as though that might calm the achy anxiety brewing in his stomach. Tried to breathe.

Progress was not linear. He’d hoped to be the exception to that rule; after all, he’d slipped through the cracks so many times, what was one more?

He wanted sleep. Needed sleep. His body ached for it. It was entirely psychological, he knew; if he didn’t stress so much about it, likely it would come more easily. But stress was a constant of this life, always pulling him tauter still, even in the rare moments of comfort.

Okay, so, maybe he didn’t need sleep, maybe it was fine enough just resting and breathing, and breathing and resting. It was going to be fine.

He was fine.

----

It had grown dark outside. Ienzo was still, horribly, conscious. Wasn’t there something wrong with him? Why was he allowing himself to get so worked up about this? Why was he wasting so much time? He should be helping Ansem.

He was a touch dizzy when he got up. How he hated having to be corporeal, how finicky and needy the body was, all the time. He went into the bathroom and washed his face, holding the cool cloth over his eyes for a long moment. They ached.

Ansem was, predictably, still hard at work. He was, as far as Ienzo knew, balancing several projects at once, but he was really most invested in anything involving data, especially the fine line between reality and code itself. The new operating system was meant to house code in a more stable manner that was less stressful on their machines. Gummi blocks were always the best replacement parts and lasted far longer than any metal or plastic, but they were hard to come by, so they had to preserve what they had for as long as possible.

“Hello, Ienzo,” Ansem said cheerfully. “Demyx said you were resting. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Of course he’d said something. Ienzo bit his lip. Demyx had become almost uncomfortably protective of his health, but how could Ienzo blame him? How many times had he escaped death now, exactly? (Best not to dwell on that.) “Made any progress?” He flinched at the poor structure of his speech.

“It’s coming along fairly well, all things considered. A couple of minor glitches here and there, but that’s to be anticipated. I believe soon we can start converting over all of our files. Perhaps it might be possible to make it compatible with the gummiphone too, so one can access things on the go. Our hardware isn’t yet necessarily up to par yet but I’m hoping that--”

A finger of pain stabbed him behind the eyes. Ienzo pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Are you alright?” Ansem asked.

“Bit of a headache.” He forced a smile. “Would you mind repeating that?”

Ansem turned slightly in his chair. “If you are unwell, you shouldn’t strain yourself.”

“I am fine,” he reasserted.

“Ienzo, forgive me, but I had raised you to believe in honesty.”

He felt the blood rush to his face, along with a bitterness. “You weren’t around long, though, were you?”

Ansem’s complexion, in the blue light of the screen, was ashen.

Ienzo swallowed and touched his throat. “Master, I--”

“No. You’re correct in that regard.”

The silence had a weight to it.

“Ienzo. You’re allowed to be angry with me.”

“It wasn’t as if you chose to be thrown into the Realm of Darkness.”

“Heavens, no. But you were told something else entirely, something which you then internalized for months on end--years. Lies are much harder to erase than the truth.” Ansem stood and placed his hands on Ienzo’s shoulders. “I was a fool, a coward. Rather than taking responsibility for my actions, I instead became embittered and sought revenge. You paid the price for my poor decisions.” His rust-colored eyes bore into Ienzo’s, unnervingly. “How is it you feel, truly?”

“I feel…” His heart was racing. “I feel so…” Allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of Ansem was a new kind of pain, but in his exhaustion he didn’t have the strength to fight off these thoughts. “I am angry. At you. At myself. At everything. I thought that once I laid it all to rest I would feel at peace but I--”

His gaze was so calm. Ienzo could not bear to look at him.

“I cannot sleep,” he said. He hugged himself tightly. “If not for the nightmares.”

“What is it you dream about?” Ansem asked gently.

“Oh, any number of unpleasant things.” There was something like pressure rising within him, and he wondered if he might be sick. “The day they told me you’d gone mad. When they cut me down. Death, destruction, hellfire… these.” He brushed his hand over his shoulder, and the scars covered by his shirt. Ienzo was aware he was sounding a little unhinged. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m losing my self. ” A razor-sharp pain stuck in his throat. He touched it. The lump forming there seemed to have stopped the torrent of words.

“You are not losing ,” Ansem said. “You are growing, and healing. Processing this trauma is a sign that you’ve stopped protecting yourself from others. Which, believe it or not, is a strength.”

Heat built behind his eyes. “I’ve told Demyx more or less the same,” he mumbled. “Why don’t I believe it?”

“Knowing and feeling are entirely separate.”

Ienzo took a deep breath. His chest spasmed a little with a sob. He was not going to get out of here with his dignity intact.

“You’ve had to rely on yourself for far too long,” Ansem said softly. “I hope that will change.”

He felt the first tears break free. He was simply too tired to fight anymore. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so--”

Ansem drew Ienzo gently into his arms. Ienzo was a trembling mess. It took a concerted effort to allow himself to cry freely and be comforted, though once he did it seemed like he couldn’t stop. This was only worsened by the fact that Ansem smelled exactly like he remembered, like powder and coffee and oranges. Ansem didn’t say anything, and merely rubbed Ienzo’s back in slow circles until the sobs subsided.

The horrible tension of it all had eased, leaving him drained and humiliated. He swiped at his face.

“Come,” Ansem said. “I’ll make you some tea. You’ve had a long day.”

That night, even though he lay in bed alone, he slept deeply, and without dreams.

[ournewoverlords]

Some thoughts on Ted Chiang’s Exhalation (2019) - Part I

Ted Chiang is such an interesting writer to me. His stories have such a neutral, impersonal tone — “thinky” scifi, theoretical what-if experiments far from our own space and time — and yet they wrestle with such “base” human questions at their core. I was surprised at how emotional I felt after reading some of them — not during the reading but days afterwards, when I’d watch a kid play in the park and think about the main character in “The Lifecycle of Software Objects”, who’d tried very hard to give her digital-child-pet a life in a society that didn’t consider it worthy of one. There’s something about his stories that have an impact on you a long time later, like a stone dropped too clean to make an initial splash, but whose ripples keep echoing in you for a long time after.

Some of these questions are very familiar, if you’ve read his previous collections, most famously Stories of Your Life and Others: how much free will do we really have; how do we go on in a world without it; how the instruments we use (language and writing, as much as any other tech) changes the way we think, feel, and relate to each other; the purpose of science and the purpose of stories, and the lines where they cross, the spaces where they meet. Is it the actual, physical, objective-laws world that shapes who we are, or the stories we tell ourselves about it? What is an individual — a single, measly person, whose only contribution might be to write a good account of the advent of a piece of tech, not even the inventor but a bystander — to the clockwork machinery of the universe? Why are we, in the cosmic scheme of things?

Maybe it’s all the Black-Mirror/Hunger-Games type stuff that’s been so en vogue in the last decade (not to mention a certain orange-y harbinger of the apocalypse sitting in the White House, and the impending existential dread of climate change), but I found this to be a very “hopeful” collection. Optimistic may be too strong a word for it, but it grapples with these dystopian concepts and comes out the other side with the sense that just as the world grows and changes, we will find a way to grow and change, and whether time turns all our great pyramids and gods to dust we are still a species worth saving. The time machines, robots, parallel universes, and knowledge that we have no destiny except the final entropy of all living things will challenge who we are, but not the missive to be kind to one another. Even if our fate is already set, we can still choose what kind of person we will be when we meet it.

In that way, perhaps the way the narrators, men and women and nameless alike, are so detached and analytical in the way they observe the world reflects not a limitation of Chiang’s character range, but a purposeful choice by the author. They’re scientists, struggling with a crisis of faith: whether they’ve made the correct diagnosis, drawn the correct conclusion, stuck to the right course, let go at the right time. Watches, who’ve met their watchmaker. Yet what makes this collection particularly beautiful — particularly scifi — to me is how these mechanical people become not gods in the future, but simply more human.

Some thoughts on the individual stories under the cut, warning for spoilers. I’m splitting this into two parts because I'm a rambler, so this one is the first half, going up to The Lifecyle of Software Objects:

The Merchant and the Alchemist’s Gate

“Nothing erases the past. There is repentance, there is atonement, and there is forgiveness. That is all, but that is enough.”

I think it’s so fitting that a short-story collection about the meaning of stories opens with a scifi retelling of Scheherazade’s One Thousand and One Nights, the most famous short-story collection of all. It’s not just the ancient Middle East setting that’s familiar, but the structure: like those fables, this is a nested story-within-a-story, a series of morality tales told to a narrator who has his own secret not yet revealed to the audience. The scifi piece here is the time-machine gate, which, like Arrival, raises questions about the nature of time and free will — what if the future were an unchangeable scroll, the script set in ink before your birth? What does coming to know that future do to the knower?

Some, naturally, use it to enrich themselves, the classic time-travel trope of traveling to the past to give yourself the stock picks (note: buy Apple). Another underestimates the trickery of fate, while the wife uses it to rescue her future husband. But what’s interesting here is that in all these cases, no one actually changes the future; nor did they actually change the past, because the past *must* have happened for the future to happen. The characters merely make the future that was going to happen happen, much as Arrival’s Louise felt obligated “to act precisely as she knew would.”

It’s a theme that Chiang is clearly very interested in, with his most famous demonstration in Stories of Your Life / Arrival.  If we already know the future, and we can’t change it no matter what we do, that implies that we don’t have free will. The narrator’s attempt then, to change his future by changing his past must fail: a harsh word spoken and a wife lost can’t be taken back, unless it was meant to be.

But the fact that the narrator tried, I think, and went to great lengths trying, is the human element of this fantasy story. That his first instinct was to try to save his wife says something about him; the fact that it was all futile in the end doesn’t negate the meaning of his attempt. I keep remembering this Vonnegut quote about Lot’s wife, who was warned not to look back at the burning city, and yet couldn’t help doing so as she fled: “but she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human.” The merchant didn’t do the wise thing, but he did the human thing — isn’t that the part that hurts?

The one issue I had with this story is that I’m always completely frustrated by time-travel-paradox stories — it doesn’t make sense to me that a universe wouldn’t branch off, so to speak, the moment you step back in time, so I don’t understand *why* both our past and future can’t be changed. I had the same issue with Arrival, where I couldn’t explain to myself why Louise HAD to walk the future she saw. (It doesn’t help that I’ve been watching a lot of Future Man, which has a lot of fun jumping around and sticking its fingers up the timey-wimey stuff.) But I also believe that the technical puzzle really isn’t the point of this story — accepting the premise that the past and future are unchangeable even if we can see them, the idea is that we still have to live them anyways, and it’s through those experiences that we change, grow, become different people. If the merchant hadn’t tried to rescue his wife, would he have found his atonement at the end? Or are there things we have to do anyways, even if we already know the answer?

Exhalation

“But in truth the source of life is a difference in air pressure, the flow of air from spaces where it is thick to those where it is thin.”

A slim little story, with a steampunk texture and some lovely little flourishes of prose in between extremely in-depth explanations of what I can only describe as “mechanical stuff” (you can see the technical writer in Chiang here — he really likes describing machinery). But the thing I really like about his work is that even as he’s a geek fascinated by the technology itself, he’s even more interested in its impact on the people and societies that find themselves confronting it. “How the world works” affects how people think about themselves, and that philosophical bent gives his stories more depth than “wouldn’t it be cool if…” thought experiments to me.

On the one level, “air” here could be a direct substitution for “energy”, where the second law of thermodynamics states that the entropy of an isolated system can only go up, never down. Every breath we take adds another little bit of disorder into the universe. That makes sense: none of us are renewable machines, all our civilizations have finite lifespans, and the way we’re treating the planet doesn’t exactly bode well for at least extending what time we have. Hell, we’re literally screwing our own oxygen, and unlike the narrator’s species we don’t need the laws of physics to do it for us.

What I thought was particularly interesting, though, was reading this on a more metaphorical level. I’m stretching it here, but it’s the idea that people don’t really live on the materia itself, but on the immaterial ebbs and flows between them; that it’s the passing of thoughts, energy, love, emotion between us that keeps us alive. When that exchange dies — whether because we all became the same, or because we’ve lost interest in seeking that exchange — so too do we as a species.

Is it language that keeps us alive, or having another person hear it? Is it the having of food, or having someone with whom to share it?

What’s Expected of Us

“My message to you is this: Pretend that you have free will.”

Oh ho — I had a thought after reading this that the order of the stories in this collection is really deliberate, because this book is in tension to itself. That is, one story will set out one hypothesis/POV, and then the next will straight-up rebut it, a kind of self-conflict that reminds me both of the history of science and the way I think most conflicts occur in real life: not as wrong vs right, but as different POVs that can all be true at once without being the whole of the answer, if there is one at all.

The previous story ends with a spirited declaration that “the buildings we have erected, the art and music and verse we have composed, the very lives we’ve led: none of them could have been predicted, because none of them was inevitable.” This one states exactly the opposite: everything HAS been predicted and you have no choice at all. And unlike the first story, which had the same deterministic view, the conclusion here is not to accept fate but to fight it. (Not that you can choose whether to fight it or not - it’s all been predetermined!)

First of all, this is based on a real, ongoing debate. I was really interested in neuroscience (and in particular, its impact on ethics and law) back in college and it reminded me instantly of those experiments showing that our subconscious brain makes a decision before we become conscious of making it (see Neuroscience of free will), and I’m sure experiments like Libet’s were the inspiration behind the Predictor device here.

The fact that no one’s reacted the same way people do here is probably because we have such a strong perception of our own free will that it just seems too obviously ludicrous, and the experiments so far are nowhere near as iron-tight and replicable as the Predictor. Even so, though, think about all those factors you didn’t have control over that have such an impact on where you are today: where you were born (living at the poverty level in the U.S. still puts you at the top 14% worldwide!), your parents, your genetic temperament, much of your health and innate interests and talents. There’s a lot of that vaunted genetics-plus-environment explanation for behavior that is out of our hands, and what’s left over is all the most interesting — and hardest to define — stuff.

I’m not saying that Chiang is making a social critique here, but I think that’s what this whole collection is grappling with: “the stuff that’s left over.” Keep in mind the narrator’s two assertions at the end that will pop over and over again: the idea that civilization depends on “self-deception” — or what others might call “stories” — and that “some of you will succumb and some of you won’t, and my sending this warning won’t alter those proportions”. Because in the last story, following the narrator’s command to believe in the lie is exactly what alters them.

The Lifecycle of Software Objects

Confession: I’m rarely blown away by Chiang’s prose. It does the job but it doesn’t get me swooning over a sentence or a particularly striking piece of imagery. Reading TLoSO, the piece of fiction I kept thinking of was Philip K Dick’s Do Android Dream of Electric Sheep, a novella whose wordcraft I also thought was workmanly — and yet, I fucking love that book, and this was my favorite story in Exhalation.

I can’t fully articulate why, but it’s the one that’s stuck with me the longest, even as I think The Truth of Fact, the Truth of Feeling is more original and Anxiety is the Dizziness of Freedom is more satisfying. It’s one of the most “conventional” stories here, along with Anxiety (perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s these two that are being adapted for Hollywood) — actual characters, with actual story arcs, and things happening and people making difficult choices. It has a cinematic vision and a fully-realized world that spans decades in the lives of those characters. It even has bad guys, and an interesting conceit: what if we had these digital pets called “digients” that could learn how to talk, and play, and maybe even learn up to the level of a adolescent while looking like these adorable baby animals that you’ll never have to feed, clean, or scoop poop after? You can just “suspend” them when you’re tired of playing with them; they’re cuter than robots, less pressure than children, and less work than pets!

The length and conventionality of the narrative structure makes it easier to relate to, I think, but it’s not why I love it and keep juxtaposing it by the Philip K Dick book. Like Androids, at the heart of it I think this is a story about empathy. It’s a story about the inherent terror, sorrow, and joy of parenting, of being in charge of another life with no guardrails or handbook on how to do it. It’s about being an adult, with jobs, responsibilities, and obligations to others in constant competition with values inside yourself, and never knowing if you got that balance right.

It’s about being a parent in a society where you’re in constant negotiation with it about the value of that life: where the only worth your child has is how much money they can make someone, how intelligent they are (and therefore how much money they can make someone), how much utility they have as an academic exercise or as a sex partner. No matter how much you love your kid, the only thing the world cares about is whether they have some “use”, and this story is all about that feeling: the heartache of justifying an existence you don’t feel should need justifying. Because whether the digients are actually robots, children, pets, or replicants — that’s probably never going to be proven, in the same way we’ll never know if Deckard really is a replicant, but that’s not really what matters here. What matters is whether you choose to believe these digital-pet-things deserve to be treated like they have value, the kind of value that makes torturing them evil, discarding them cruel, and keeping promises to them matter.

Ana and Derek choose to believe. They’re one of the very few who do, and they raise their digients as children, teaching them how to read, finding them play partners, taking joy in their successes, wrestling with how to discipline their mischief. When disaster strikes — Blue Gamma goes bankrupt, Data Earth becomes obsolete, making obsolete their first-gen digients with it — they shield them from the “finances”, much as many parents do. Then they throw themselves into the only mission that matters anymore: finding a way to give them some semblance of a good life.

Hope after hope turns them down, until at last, there’s only a startup called Binary Desire, who proposes to make the digients sex bots, in the most reasonable language: they won’t be sex slaves, this is a voluntary modification to their circuits plus careful training that will make them genuinely fall in love with their chosen partner. A kind of directed puberty, if you will — after all, none of us asked for our hormones and crushes, right? How is this different from being born with the oxytocin to connect to our family, or Blue Gamma’s initial breeding of the digients to be cute and cuddly? How is it different from being born with a certain set of genes that might predispose us to like certain people — isn’t that even the whole concept of “soul mates” in the first place, an innate connection?

But there’s something so particularly awful about Binary Desire’s proposal, as nicely as they couch it as completely consensual. First of all, as Ana and Derek argue, the digients are still child-like (though this is partly because of Derek’s and especially Ana’s own protectiveness). But even if they had the consciousness and experience of full adults, it’d still feel wrong to me, and I think it’s because of this: forcing a being to remake themselves just for our own convenience feels instinctively wrong. Binary Desire’s customers could find real, living, actually-consensual partners — but they don’t want to, they’d rather pay for a bot hardwired to fall in love with them, and delude themselves that this is “ultimate sexual fulfillment” for both parties.

That’s what feels so wrong about the way the digients are treated in the society of TLoSO in general: it’s not that people are actively torturing the bots a la the Kubrick/Spielberg movie A.I., it’s just that they’re always doing whatever is most convenient for themselves. There’s no friction, no “cost” — and therefore, no weight to any of their relationships either. It’s not that they’re selfish people, any more than us fast-swiping Tinder and all those other dating apps whose entire goal was to remove friction from “the dating market” — the point is that technology has made these options available that were never there before.

What if you could push a button and make your child perfect? What if you could pay a few bucks and make someone love you forever? Binary Sense even tries to get around that by demanding the relationship be built up over months rather than a cheap-and-quick hormonal hit because people want “real” relationships not slaves — but that friction is still artificial, just like how Ana tells Derek at the beginning that it’s weirder to pretend the digients are real animals. Getting things easy, getting things without having to pay any emotional price or sacrificing anything of yourself — that cheapens you.

I think that’s the answer to Binary Desire’s question that tortures Ana: “why can nonsexual relationships with them [like yours and Derek’s] be healthy, while sexual ones can’t?” It’s not really about nonsexual vs sexual — it’s about investing in a relationship honestly, vs trying to take shortcuts. Binary Desire’s emotional training program to get the digient to fall in love is still a shortcut, just a different kind of shortcut. People are always looking for certainty, the certainty that they’ve made the right choice — certain profit, certain success, certain returns for their investment. But relationships aren’t about certainty; at every moment, you might be fucking this all up forever, but it’s that discomfort that you makes you human. It’s about knowing that you might have nothing left to show at the end of years of effort and being willing to make that effort anyway.

The people in Ana and Dereks’ society suck because they’re unwilling to take the risk that might they invest everything, and still be left with nothing. They would never give their whole heart to something, whether that thing was a person or a bot. They want the kind of relationship that you can suspend, rewind, erase, start over if you don’t like it anymore. And that’s no relationship at all.

That’s why Ana and Derek are the heroes here, or at least, as much “hero” as you can be in a Ted Chiang piece — because they do pay a price for their love for Jax and Marco and Polo. They don’t take the easy way out of suspending them even as it costs them relationships, jobs, their statuses in society. At the end, Derek even sacrifices the one thing he discovered he wanted throughout the years— his chance with Ana — to make what he hopes is the right choice for Marco. They’re not the same kind of parents at all — Ana is more protective, Derek more willing to push them, to let them struggle out of the idea that’s needed for growth — but the crucial thing is both put that duty above themselves, the moment they became “parents”: the duty to try to give them a good life.

On the one hand, you can say it’s a sickness, valuing robots that might never gain more intellectual capacity than a 10-year-old over other human beings; on the other you can say they have this kind of fundamental integrity, this will to treat them right. Because Ana promised Jax she wouldn’t suspend him, she won’t. Because Derek can sacrifice neither Marco nor Ana, he lets Marco make his own choice, and lets Ana blame him. Maybe those are all terrible choices, maybe it’s not what you’d think of as a happy life, but — being able to have empathy with something outside yourself, even if it’s a thing not a person, being the kind of person who stands by their promises and doesn’t squirrel out of the hard decisions — isn’t that the kind of life you can live with? And isn’t that all we can ask for in the end?

---

Second half coming up!

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: the Wicked + the Divine 37

Spoilers, obv.

It's a strange job, writing. You think you know something, and you do, and then you realise it's something else. Or rather, something else as well.

While I'd advise against hard categories, there's certainly types of writers. When I was on a panel with Hickman, I believe he described me as god. Which amused me. He was saying that I'm the sort of writer who works like a Christian god, knowing the place and positioning of every leaf, every tree beam, every mote of dust. I see writing as a sprawling machine. I'm the Watchmaker.

This isn't quite the same thing as being a complete planner, but my decisions are deliberate. I'm not someone who doesn't generally know why he's doing something.

Writers who lean more improvisational talk often about looking back and realising what their theme was, or what they were mining and not aware of. I rarely get that. Or rather, it happens so rarely, that I tend to remember almost every occasion I get that perspective. Frankly, more common is making a decision for a reason, forgetting why, and then reverse engineering my own thought process years down the line and realising why past-me made what I felt was the only reasonable decision.

Which isn't to say that's everything. I know what I'm doing for a plan, but there's also the magic of ideas. What hits me, what feels right, places I want to go, and then only realise along the way exactly what part of me is having a conversation with me. This is normally stuff that I'm hiding from myself a little. This is stuff I have trouble admitting. This isn't just stuff that is bad about myself – there's lots of stuff which is bad about myself which I'm explicitly interrogating – but stuff I may not want to deal with until down the path. There's been a few of them. Not many, but a few.

Which makes this issue strange, as it's ended up being both.

It's an issue which was mainly conceived of before the first issue was drawn, set up entirely in issue 3, and has been thought about and talked about internally since (both internally team WicDiv and internally in my own head).

And then, only when the issue drops, do I realise what part of myself I've been mining for a character all along, while consciously thinking I was keeping her at arm’s reach, because I'm petrified of her. It's actually a realisation that's made me alter some things in my daily cycle, as I recognise the place they're from, and why it's bad for me.

As I said, writing is an interesting job. I don't consciously do it for these reasons... but I must do, at least on some level. "What is wrong with us?" is at the heart of most my work, which translates to "What is wrong with me?"

Of course, this is also not exactly necessarily relevant for you, and not the primary thrust of any of this, but it's there, and as these are writer notes, you're going to get some of it. Weird issue.

Preamble over.

Jamie/Matt's Cover: Foreshadowing the darkness section of the issue. We like doing a minimalistic one now and again.

Erica Henderson: This is just an amazing cover. After Squirrel Girl, you'd have an idea what an Erica cover would be, and it wouldn't be this wonderful homage to the the Caravaggio picture. Having a Gentle Annie cover this late is a good thing as well. In love with this.

IFC

The "Ananke. Or Ananke?" was a cut and paste error. We're just relieved it happens now, as I was petrified of typoing an Ananke when I meant Minerva or vice versa for the whole run.

Page 3-14

I suspect by now the past/present structure is pretty clear. We change it up considerably, with what they're showing. Issue 34 was the (majority) of the structure Ananke is working under. 35 is an example of what she does when things go right. 36 is showing the scale of what she did, and a taste of the tactics and so on. 37 is showing what happens when it goes wrong. I suspect by actively saying this in the notes, this is where a certain stripe of reader will try and work out what the other two bits of information are, but relax, we're nearly there and we'll tell you soon enough.

I had drafts of this when the past sequence was longer, but I cut it to the bone. After last issue, I wanted to spend the majority of the issue in the present day. If I could do it in 2 pages, that'd give me 18 pages for the present day.

In my longer drafts, I played with having the opening being 2 pages – so the falling apart starts on a page turn – and the reincarnation was over two pages, so featured a more active freak out that the sensory deprivation is over. Even with space, I'd have likely lost it – scrambling and that kind of panic in comics eats up panels, and isn't always effective. Cutting it to the three panels, showing the highly naturalistic magical appearance, and a single panel of the semi-comatose Minerva, clearly having been through hell.

(I'm going with Minerva as a name, as it's the name we know her by.)

A few words about what Matt did in colours – this just makes me want to go on holiday. Just weird and sad and horrible. Also, a note about "freaking out not always working in comics"? An expression like that does at the bottom of the page.

And then we have the black pages.

So, we're trying to show complete sensory deprivation for ninety years. How do you do it? I've seen people do deprivation comics, and they do it with a panel. For obvious reasons, because by definition nothing happens. In a standard comics world, we would do something like drop a CAP at the start of the page when she's back...

CAP: I SPENT THE LAST 90 YEARS IN NOTHINGNESS.  

And then perhaps, if we really wanted to hand hold, on panel 2 add a...

CAP: THEN I WAS BACK.

But we're not a normal comic. Can we try and to show not tell? Try and get people to have the sense of what that actually is, and force a confrontation of the reality of it (or at least a fraction of the reality of it). Of course we can. As I joke in the back, if we were feeling really fancy, we'd have done 90 black pages.

As the issue was crammed with more interstitials than usual, there was no way this could possibly fit inside a normal sized issue. So we upped the issue size and, equally obviously, kept the price the same, because we're not complete shits.

Now, we're aware that some people won't get it. Some people may not have realised, despite the fact we've done it all the way through, that we've never done less than 20 pages of comics. We've often done more.

We actually put more of a tell than we normally would, in that we mention in the backmatter about how this actually cost us more money than usual, which we ate. Our general go-to motivation is to try and give people stuff they're not expecting, make them think about the form (and structure in life) from every possible angle. Yes, we're over four years into the comic, and we're still pushing stuff where we can.

There was a lot more here (as in, about a thousand words) but I'll spare you – fundamentally, I was fascinated that even with me trying to leave more space for the readers in this final year, we still do those little pushes, which is a symptom of a streak of control-freakery. Thinking about that and my feelings around it finally made me have the realisation I mentioned above – specifically, a “Oh – I know what part of me goes into Morrigan.” All the characters in WicDiv are me, I say. She was an exception. I felt I was mining a lot of things with her, but not necessary myself. I was always scared of her, but she was me all along. Deleting the above is in part about recognising my own control-freakery. I'm increasingly suspicious about these Writer Notes. Yes, they're about sharing and talking and craft, but I'm also aware it's at least in part about not wanting to let go. I have to get over that. I'll be surprised if I do Writer Notes like this for any future project.

So yeah. That was a journey.

Re: Page of blackness. Would I go back and not do it? Of course. I think it's a neat idea, and fun. It's the emotional mess that is me that I worry about.

15

NOTHING TO BE SCARED OF is a lift from Adam Ant's ‘Prince Charming’ (whose video take on Cinderella is actually 100% a WicDiv origin sequence, which makes me think of the edited Disney Cinderella gif with the exploding head. Cinderella is very WicDiv.

Anyway – a lift from ‘Prince Charming’, but perverted and turned very literal. Minerva is evidently afraid of a literal nothing.

16-17

As I said last time, I decided to concentrate on Baph's confession (and Laura's reveal) last issue, so I had moved a bunch of plot beats from there to here. I knew I had 18 pages, so more space to work. I obviously played with the idea of doing the Cassandra arrest this issue, but realised I could do the reveal from Baph's text at the end of last issue, to give an actual minor cliffhanger. As such, this means that we have to explain what happened here. How to do that?

Well, obviously we could do it with just Baph and Persephone chatting, but that seems like dead pages. I had the idea of doing it from the outside, to move the focus away from the pantheon out into the world. We don't get many moments of perspective any more (though I suspect they'll come back hard in the last arc) so this was useful.

It's also another example of particularly pointed glaring at fan behaviour. There is a lot of casual cruelty here.

The scene they describe is literally Cassandra's Cassandra moment. We see a little footage of this next issue.

I originally wanted this sequence to be at Elephant & Castle, as its curling mess of tunnels struck me as a good pace for such a confrontation. There's no escalators though, which creates a few limits, and I realised it'd likely be better to return to Highbury & Islington.

You'll also note the other thing this sequence does – which is orientate the reader with the layout of the station. When Morrigan and Baphomet actually fight, they go the opposite direction to where these two walk. It's a fairly common action film trick  – travel through the setting so you know where stuff is, and then blow it up.

I love the pinky purple shirt here. Nice call, Matt. If I wore colours, you could dress me.

18-19

This issue, despite the space, is cut really tight. I look at this and wonder if I'd have cut it a different way to get more pages to use later.

Back to the Underground, limited backgrounds, handy when you're heading towards a visual showcase like the last half of the issue, both in terms of workload, and also to create a dark visual which is then exploded.

"Can everyone stop dying? It's getting really fucking depressing" has been in the Baph dialogue file ever since issue 1, I think. "How to get ahead in show business" was one of the titles I played with for the end of issue 33's interstitial, but went with Talking Heads. Clearly, it's a very Baph line.

The Fancy Pager, as seen back in Imperial Phase II when Dio gave it him.

It's good to see these two talking. It's very strong moves by Jamie, with lots of tiny nods. The "why I like him" sequence is very human.

20-21

This is one I feel I could have cut to a page if I really wanted to, but when Minerva is only lightly in play this issue, giving her more screen time seemed worthwhile. Space = Meaning remember. Plus it means showing more of the heads as well. See what I mean? I could have cut it, sure, but I know why I didn't.

Like the lighting here as well. Matt does great stuff.

I'll say this – Minerva has been a delight to write this arc. I mean, horrible as well. I'm amazed at her casual villainy, and how she turns a scene. I realised early in the arc this is basically me flexing the Kid Loki muscles, in a different kind of workout.

Another text-based scene. I'm thinking about how we use text messages so much in this book. Hmm.

The last expression with the needle is golden.

22-23-24

And the gears start turning on this awful machine.

Second panel is a little like the "Morrigan merges from behind shot from issue 5 and issue 12". I'd have made it a 1:1 copy of it, but it's a space-jealous approach.

Persephone removed, leaving us with Baphomet and Morrigan.

From now on is an odd one. It's what I can only think of as a set-piece. A series of beats we've been chewing over and moving around and talking about forever. The road is set in issue three.  In anything like this, it's complicated. When I talk about WicDiv becoming messier as it heads into its final year, it's things like this.

Want to talk about structure? I don't normally do this, but it strikes me as a useful focus.

As far as I can see, the rest of the issue is primarily wrestling with three main plot threads, to different degrees. There's more, but I think they're the main ones.

Firstly, and probably least, is Baphomet. It's a little early to explicitly name his hamartia, but throughout Baphomet's failings are primarily responses to his feelings around death, and as a sub-set to that, his relationship to violence. He's killed accidentally. We've seen him try to kill repeatedly. Is Baphomet actually capable of cold-blooded murder?

Secondly, there's Morrigan. I think Dionysus nailed Morrigan back in Imperial Phase. Dio wants the best for people. Morrigan thinks she knows what's best for people. When people do not skew to her narrative, she turns frustrated, angry and uses increasingly immoral and abusive tactics to make people obey her. People make her so angry, because if only they would play their part, and do exactly what she says, it'd be better for everyone. She sees herself as the good person who knows what makes people happy. In the most basic terms, she's a control freak who has a story she wants everyone to conform to.

Thirdly, there's Baphomet and Morrigan's relationship. Which is more complicated than I could put into a paragraph, but is mainly about the two lines of their bullshit intersecting. It can be compelling. At a distance, it looks like a gothic romance. That's what Morrigan thinks it is. That's what Morrigan needs it to be. She's the heroine. Baph's the hero. He just keeps on fucking up his lines. Morrigan does not understand or agree that her relationship is abusive, and does not understand that she's using Baph as a narcissistic prop to satisfy her own needs.

While it's important for all of them, I think only one of these three threads climaxes here.

Anyway – this sets up. We slow down, and Baphomet actually realises what's happening. Baphomet, on some level, believes he deserves his treatment, as much as he chafes and pulls away. When he sees what Morrigan is capable of doing to someone else, he gets a moment of clarity.

Badb, the symbol of all of Morrigan's frustrations when her self-image is questioned, arrives.

God, Page 24, depresses me. It's such a stark page by Jamie and Matt. Everything slows down. Big panels. Big expressions.

25-30

When we originally conceived this, I thought it may be actually the whole issue, and do this, juxtaposed with a whole look at their relationship. In the end, I didn't have space, and likely didn't like it either. It'd have ended up juxtaposing more violence with sex, which I find distasteful and cheap.

Instead, it's written in a Marvel Method structure. I write the fight sequence and the flashbacks in parallel – there's a suggested solution to it, which Jamie went another direction on. I think it was basically a column on the right.

The original draft had more panels, and went on further in the flashback to the morning after. We then played with doing more periods – I had a version where it'd run through the entire length of Baph and Morri's relationship (I even put the whole thing in a document). But, as I was writing that, I realised the best solution was to just crop to the initial meeting in a shitty university club.

Yes, there was dialogue to this exchange. I may find a home for it before the end of WicDiv.

I mean – that's something odd about writing. For something like this, you generate so much stuff to even find what's going to go on the page. Fraction was talking about this in the latest Image+, in terms of the stuff that doesn't go on the page. Chrissy occasionally talks about comic writing having a lot to do with poetry, in terms of being about intensifying meaning into as small a space as possible.

Jamie and Matt do astounding things in this sequence. It's a fight sequence, and in genre comics, fight sequences take the place that songs do in musicals. Jamie chooses his moments, and Matt finds a way to navigate between the dancing timelines. Things like the third panel on 25, with the uncanny greens of Morrigan and Baph's red bisecting the panel says a lot. The divisions between the two in Jamie's art is also fascinating.

Christ – the mess of people in the first panel, and what happens to bodies when they get in the way.

I had a draft where Baph making this a nod to Sandman more explicit, but cut it.

In the flashback sequence, Cam saying something and Morrigan wincing, and me not needing to say that clearly Cam is making a crap joke is pleasing. It obviously is Jamie, but it also speaks to the characters. You know exactly how the first flirtation would go.

Jamie asked me "Does the fight have to be on an escalator?" and I basically said no, but... escalators are liminal spaces between the underworld and the surface world. They just seem loaded. And just as importantly, it's a place I just haven't seen nearly as much action as I'd like in genre comics. It's a space that many city people cross daily, and so will be familiar with, and so will perhaps think about as they go about. Jamie got it. Thanks, Jamie.

Morrigan as crow-beast is horrible.

Various people have asked what the notes are. It's ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’. I think I wrote ‘I'm Not Okay (I Promise)’ in the script. I think Jamie did it as you can get the notes right with ‘Black Parade’, which is a good call. The ‘I'm not okay’ was a callback to issue seven, but MCR generally is good.

Top of page 28 is another one for Matt – just how he works the long horizontal space.

End of Page 29 – Baphomet has his moment. He could end this now. And he finds he can't.

I don't know about you, but – for all his posture – I don't think Baphomet can kill anyone, and certainly not Morrigan. You can compare and contrast with Baal, if you wish. They're very much the bookends of certain forms of performed masculinity.

I wrote this as an impaling kind of move – but due to the panel shape, you can't show that, and capture the expression simultaneously. Instead, Jamie frames it as a swing, which does the same job.

30 – Baphomet may not be able to, but Morrigan certainly can.

This is horrible too, though Matt's colouring makes it a little more distancing. I suspect if I did have an extra page, I'd have used it here, to both make Baph's death clearer, and spend more space on Morrigan's realisation of what she's done.

31

This works, but I suspect for the trade I may change this interstitial to Baphomet. Baphomet's symbol is a skull here, but a little more stressing would likely help.

Title here is an early Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds single.

32-34

Persephone's captions are back – the stumble through an underworld path to find them made me think of the scene in issue seven, so the howl of the Morrigan, then comedy, now something else, is nodded to.

I love how Jamie and Matt have moved the mood from supernatural to hard disaster movie realism instantly. This is a tonal snap. The bodies, the people lying down. This is really horrible.

I suspect "Tragedy gives ‘clusterfuck’ ideas above its station" is one of my harder nods towards intent.

And back to Marian, the heroine of her gothic novel, confronted with undeniable evidence that she's a murdering monster who absolutely was driven by her own selfish desires. She denies it anyway, finding a way to persuade herself it's not true.

No, she's the hero. She's going to bring Baphomet back at the cost of her own life. That must prove she's the good person, right?

Morrigan is continuing her abuse the only way she can, while preserving her all-important idea that she was the good person.

So, of the three stories I mention, the one which climaxes is Morrigan's solo plot. She rode her own story off the edge of a cliff rather than face the reality of what she has done. The other two, and the other ones, carry on, especially Baph and Morri's relationship. Baph has to live with this.

When I was first explaining this to C, it had the desired effect. I then talked about my actual concern with it – that Marian's too convincing. Some people will take it as a "She loved him really" beat, and could then be taken as Abusers Love Their Victims Really. C got it, but noted, it's just too good to not do. I agree. I think it's one of the best scenes in WicDiv, and I had to hit it as hard as we could, and then go on to deal with the aftermath of it.

See you next issue.

[paragonrobits]

in this liveblog i did while reading Vast Error, we shall see more of Albion, the gal who is all the Lantern Corps at once... kinda!

also i initially wrote this by copy-pasting pictures from the actual site into the google doc but it didn’t paste over, and some of my writing was, at the time, based on the assumption you could see that too, im sorry

Let’s see, last time i was reading Vast Error, I met this olive gal called Albion! Let’s check up what’s with her, yeah?

What the heck that’s a green lantern ring, its even the right shape and stuff? Also that is a very pretty sweater, looks like a christmas sweater almost

You are completely green and stable! Hooray! You already knew this, because your ring is always completely green and stable as that is your WILL.

Um that sounds a bit worrying, Albion, are you okay?? But stability = green/Will sounds about right! It looks like her ring is….. A literal mood ring. I love and hate this pun, it is my new kismesis.

Reading further along, I get the impression that her moods strongly dictate her personality and she won’t let herself feel anger at all, nor fear or greed. While that’s a laudable goal, I feel that this is not at all healthy for her state of mind, especially not anger. Also, pity instead of love! CONSISTENCY WITH TROLL ALIEN-NESS.

I got a bit of a smile on the white = life thing, ahhh now the Blackest Night returns to me. The connoitions of the Black Lanterns corps as blank is an interesting one, too.

Star Childre reminds me of both a play on the whole Lantern Corps thing, and back when you have New Age philosophies that referred to themselves or their kids like that? That whole Indigo Children thing. I know they had specific terms for autistic people that was probably meant to be nice but even then came off as condescending at best.

Albion im probably going to gently mock u a little bit at some point but in all honesty your room sense is very well together. Look at this excellent lay out! IS THAT A FROG POND IN THE CORNER OR JUST A LOTUS. EITHER WAY IS SIGNIFICANT. That’s almost definitely a bonsai tree on your desk, in any case.

Now you have to do a quest to find a scholar in Daedric languages, stay away from the Stalwards of Stendar, they are mean. Plus you literally look like a daedra and someone with the right mods could easily play as you, so…… be careful plz

You're taking the time to properly translate it to CURRENT TEXT first, which has been taking longer than you expected. Your language as of now is structured very differently than that of anything before THE RENIASSANCE, in both phrase and symbol. You've been staying away from digging deep into this scroll until you've gotten that done, you like to be surprised when you read tales of the past. You really have your priorities straight!

Though, from what you've seen just at this quick glance, it seems to talk about some sort of CURSE THROUGH BLOOD.

Curse through blood?? I iniitally would assume that this would have something to do with a Karkat analogue but I know there’s nothing like that going on here. I therefore assume that it is an ancestral issue that will come into play later, maybe?

Doing this task was for once not for your personal enjoyment, but at the request of your MATESPRIT, who you have been slowly teaching PLANETARY CUSTOMS as they are rather BEHIND.

Your ring begins to turn PINK.

You slap it.

It goes back to green.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP I DONT KNOW WHO IT IS BUT IM ALREADY SHIPPING IT. A lesson to other writers; if you want someone to ship the relationship you’re planning, a good idea might be to emulate that kind of writing. THAT is what they mean by ‘show, dont tell’

I wont lie, that looks disgusting as hell but it also looks genuinely relaxing. One time when i was living with my dad back when he was living with, and I’m not kidding here, an actual evil step-mother out for his money that abandoned him the second she cleaned him out, i took a mud bath in a giant hole we dug for…. Some reason. I don’t remember why. It was very nice, it was at a point of my life where ‘idk why the hell not’ is a legit excuse and i have recursed back to that era. The world may never know why this happens

You use GLOP ENHANCERS to make each experience slightly different, though you've been set on MIRACULOUS VIEW lately. The colors really permeate in both size and smell.

HMMMMMM. It’s just me remembering Gamzee, sweet as he was without Caliborn fucking him up, but ‘miraculous view’ has me deeply concerned and a bit suspicious here.

‘Recieve message from Taz’ AWWWW HELL YEAH, OUR GIRL IS BACK IN THE HOUSE, WHOOT WHOOT

You could feel the hot passions of her overblown conundrums coming from miles away.

I was already shipping this before i even know it was my fav purple wrestler gal coming back in to hug my brain in an angry fashion.

Its likely not deliberate but ‘hot passions of overblown conundrums’ makes Taz sound exactly like what would happen if Karkat and Gamzee fused into a troll gal or had a daughter. IDEA FOR AN AU, KARKAT AND GAMZEE HAVE A DAUGHTER, WITH TEREZI AS SURROGATE MOTHER GRUB, AND TAZ IS THAT CHILD. FILM IT AND I PROMISE YOU ALL THE MONIES WILL FLOW.

However, you'll need your ASTRAL PROJECTOR in order to use SKORPE and speak with her, a device which has been placed in your SPIROGRAPH MODUS.

I assume that astral projector is a very literal thing here, and a spirograph modus sounds HORRIBLY inefficient

Your modus is currently rigged to an eleven card system on a ten point graph.

The ASTRAL PROJECTOR holds a spot in the middle, which will always be a WHITE card. It is also surrounded by five currently inaccessible BLACK cards and five accessible GREEN cards.

The center card can be accessed and can have something new put in it at any time. Doing either of these actions will alter the arrangement of the spirograph.

There’s more but i didnt wanna copy the whole page and really i was not wrong when i said this was inefficient, but it IS very interesting!

Like i honestly LOVE, LOVE TO PIECES the more in-depth and weird sylladexes that primiered with the trolls coming into the scene. Fandom never employs sylladexes and this is a travesty, bring them back, do it now, with GUSTO.

New challenge: take a fantroll and give them a sylladex that’s weird and cool. Not a joke, DO IT NOW PLEASE

Luckily, you've rigged your modus with some of your less appealing sounding candles to have your item just where you need it.

The SPIROGRAPH now allocates one of your TRANSLATED SCROLLS into the center card, allowing your POTENT GLOP ENHANCERS, SPARE INCENSE, SEXTANT and GRUBBY JUICE SCENTED CANDLE around it as the INACCESS cards. Not that you'll be needing them anytime soon.

Aren't things much better when you plan ahead?

I have to admit, if Karkat or literally any of the other trolls with ill-timed inventories had thoguht ahead like you, a lot of messes would have been avoided. You’d make a FANTASTIC life coach to the canon trolls, someone get albion a machine to travel into other universes so she can do just that.

Taz comes along and winds up seducing equius just by flexing in aggressive ways, their children are lovely

You place the ASTRAL PROJECTOR in front of you, using your SPIRIT POWER in order to activate it.

You will now have electronic access in THE CELL.

Aw, nice-

WAIT A MINUTE

Did she say what i think she did

THE CELL.

Holy fuck

Is she in some kind of prison!?

If she is i assume she put herself in there on purpose

-----------

Is, is that a fucking sniper rifle aimed right at her head!?!?!?!

NO NO NO NO DO NOT FUCKING FADE TO BLACK ON ME, YOU HEAR ME!? YOU SCOUNDREL, YOU CADS, YOU ABSOLUTE FIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohhhhh oh okay wait a minute:

I may have been misinformed about this, it looks like this is something similar to a chakra point being opend, perhaps? A sign of enlightenment tied to her meditating? AND WHAT IS UP WITH HER EYES IN THAT PAGE

MIRACULOUS INDEED. Seriously it looks like Gamzee-tier colorfulness

No wait!

Rainbow eyes

Eyes the color of all the shades in the spectrum

That is goddamn cool i want that to be a thing for trolls in general that are transcending the limits of the hemospectrum: AU where terezi’s eyes do that when she does the mind-y thing?

Ooooh pretty even the background takes on thel ight of the hemospectrum and, if im not wrong, the colors are grouped in a similar fashion but a bit more chaotically arranged. That might just be color blurring into another in the normal way, though

Tranquility is an asset harshly under utilized in the minds of others.

That is why yours acts as a personal safe haven.

Well i mean you’re not wrong

That’s pretty dang sensible, i like this way of doing it

Letting your mind be a safe haven is just…. Common sense, really, we sohuld all strive to be like her

[thewritewayyoutube]

So, I wrote my approach to worldbuilding and I'd like to share it here for others. I'd also like to hear from others about there methods or opinions on any I've presented here.

Okay, So here is some approaches I use or have seen and I think can work. Personally, I mix all of these into various works. You can however just run with one till you have an idea what you're doing.

The first method: Map. Draw a map. Instantly you'll be imagining conflicts, city locations, borders...You'll probably make some mistakes, but don't worry. For instance, in early civilizations they tend to form natural borders. This means they get fenced in by rivers and mountains. However, maybe you've drawn them with no knowledge of this. Then you later learn of it or have it pointed out to you.

Don't scrap the project. You can adjust your map. Explore politics in the distant and isolated reaches of the kingdom. Talk about how they overcome the historic and real world troubles with fantasy or sci fi elements. And hey, now you're worldbuilding and you literally just started scribbling lines on paper.

Second method: Map, but informed.

Go to a great Youtuber or online resource or book (I like artefexian: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3jfv_lpsQE ) and get series about the science. Now you're going to make informed 'mistakes' or deviations. Exploring those to get black plants, red sand and two stars.

Then ask how this new world impacts your people. What unique animals would evolve (remember evolution is all about advantages out-breeding disadvantages) to live in the red sand and black trees, but in the super bright and hot lands?

Method 3: The DOOM method

You don't need to worry about anything. Just throw a character in and have them begin interacting with the world. Did they wake up on a base in Mars with demonic symbols, Space suits, machine guns and human husks all around... well better get to surviving.

Suddenly you're so deep in the world that your questions are piling up, but also feeling unimportant because you're getting immersed in how interesting this world is.

Doom is kind of set on our character not caring and also does expand and flesh things out a little when it can. Which gives us a path to...

Method 4: The iceberg method

Do your people always leave food by the door? are shoes forbidden in basements when visiting the north? Do they call the cardinal directions by other names? Just run with it. Your character knows these things, and so does everyone in these vignettes or scenes. And then we will pick them up. A lot of culture, best practices and traditions aren't that deeply understood by the average person anyway. So, anyone who has travelled knows the feeling of "when in Rome do as the romans".

Take us to Rome and force us to accept the norms by showing us a piece of something.

Then on occasion sink a ship, by showing us the iceberg.

Did someone forget to salt the grave? Was Jimmy careless and took the short way home? is the back door locked on an anniversary of a family death?

What is going to happen now?

Method 5: Mystery Box

The show Lost and parts of the new star wars movies use this and it is a compelling trick, but one that is easy to get wrong. The idea is that mystery is more satisfying than answers. So throw questions on your world and never explain them. Just keep the "infinite possibilities" going.

So perhaps there is an island and it has begun to levitate. No one knows why, how, or to where. Some people have ideas, but nothing concrete. You build characters, setting and more in the explanation.

See a giant floating island is a great hook. And while you're telling us "how abnormal it is" and how "maybe someone could do this with ancestor magic" you're actually getting to sneak a lot of expository work to your audience. And they'll lap it up, if your island is working as a hook.

This branches into two paths. If writing a story the island and its resolution will either be the focus of the story or not.

It can be the focus of the audience, but if it is the focus of the narrative then you'll need to explain it. If instead the narrative shifts to some internal goal, or maybe say something like a girl trying to save her boyfriend who is on the island then it won't matter in the end why it was floating.

Method 6: Start with a creation myth. Forming the gods can be a great place to get a feel for things. Similarly, how did the nation come to be? How did this town form? Who founded the school?

Any creation lays foundation and that makes building easier.

Method 7: A world for a scene.

Think of a single scene. Perhaps a boy weeping and terrified looking at his teddy bear grin. He then shoots both his parents and grows wings.

Or a dragon that breathes a gas that coats the city in crystals and when shattered the human reflections come to life and kill the original human they are based on.

Now go build a world that explains that scene. Go ground it and work to earn your "cool" premise.

Method 8: Reality but not

Go to project gutenberg, wikipedia or a documentary. Take it. Use it.

For example:

Margaret Macpherson Grant (27 April 1834 – 14 April 1877) was a Scottish heiress and philanthropist. Born in Aberlour parish to a local surgeon, she was educated in Hampshire, and was left an only child when her elder brother died in India in 1852. Two years later, she inherited a large fortune from her uncle, Alexander Grant, an Aberlour-born planter and merchant who had become rich in Jamaica.

Macpherson Grant took up residence in Aberlour House, which had been built for her uncle by William Robertson. She lived unconventionally for a woman of her time, dressing in a manner that one newspaper called "manly", and entering into what was described as a form of marriage with a female companion, Charlotte Temple, whom she had met in London in 1864. Macpherson Grant donated generously to charitable enterprises, especially those associated with the Scottish Episcopal Church, establishing an orphanage (now the Aberlour Child Care Trust) and founding St Margaret's Episcopal Church in Aberlour. She drank heavily, and despite attempts by friends and family members to persuade her to stop, she always relapsed into alcoholism.

From this wikipedia page, literally, the one suggest on their front page today: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Macpherson_Grant

Now what if it was set in our fictional world:

Well firstly, would that be her name? What about the years? and her lifespan. Where is from? does Scotland still exist? What do they call "being an only child" in the new culture you're making? What is a fortune and how does inheritance work? Are Planter and Merchant jobs in your setting?

Then, and this was entirely by accident, we get to the juicy topic of gender norms and sexuality and societal views. So you get to explore that.

This is a lot of work, but it is worth it.

So, how to apply all the above like I do:

Well, I learned creativity in classic portraiture and thus my bias is evident on structure first.

You lay big broad and general guides. Then you box in vague details. Mostly regarding things like spacing of the eyes and length of the nose.

This is the most important stage, but also the least appreciated. But like anything, say building a house, you may notice the decorations first, but you've got to live with the plumbing.

Once the structure is in place, you can move on to details. We move from light to darker and lastly the shading and hard to remove things. So you build broad to then do the fun micro and hyper focused polishing.

But you might not have enough to do this, because worldbuilding isn't drawing. Well, in art we don't let the model sit for 5 hours before we know we hate the pose.

So, of course you want to do a few bursts and rushes to get an idea of what you're doing. This is where I used the Doom, iceberg and mystery box. I then fit it to a map. I then use the wikipedia method to build a lot of things I probably wasn't thinking about.

I then visit this sub for the prompts and use those as a way of exploring and clarifying what I know.

Sincerely, I hope this helps. Worldbuilding is a great hobby for its own purposes. Both creative and scientific. So, if you're doing it with a goal great, but if you just want a world then thats also fine.

All hobbies are work and while a knitter never has to start a business there is artificial pressures on people like us to pivot our hobby into a job.

If you like doing this then it only has to meet your standards and your goals.