#but like listening to it out of context too many times. it's got a Bond vibe to it

[berfgrimm]

CRΣΣKS | choi seunghyun (t.o.p) x reader

pairing: choi seunghyun (t.o.p) x reader

warning: angst, minor blood/injury, some fluff, mentions of addiction & depression, mentions of character death within the context of acting (idk how to explain it i’m so sorry)

note: i had this idea about being an actor and starring in squid game while I was listening to my sad playlist so this is what came of that. please enjoy, i love you all.

———————

Emotional scenes were never your favorite to film, especially in front of so many people. You hated having to cry or scream, because, even though you were acting, forcing your body to experience those emotions could exhaust you under normal circumstances. Knowing that this would be your final scene on Squid Game added to the emotion, sure, but there was something that complicated things even more. Seunghyun.

The two of you met for the first time during the casting announcement for the new season. You’d heard of him before, and though you didn’t know much about him, you found him to be very kind, and reserved. When you noticed that he tended to keep to himself, you made every effort to include him, and after a while, you saw him begin to come out of his shell.

Over the course of filming, you grew closer to Seunghyun as the majority of your scenes were together. You both worked hard to craft two characters that compliment one another, letting your blossoming real life friendship bleed through on screen.

You created a rich history that these two characters experienced together, stretching back to their childhood — two people that were driven apart by military service and arranged marriages that fell through. You invented school trips to museums, and vacations to experience live music. You created two characters who didn’t see a future that wasn’t plagued with addiction and depression, but still hustled every day to keep their head above water. You drew from your own experiences with love and heartbreak to create two characters that would never find peace with one another. You fell in love with Thanos and his muse.

After filming wrapped each day, you would often get dinner together and discuss your interests or workshop ideas for your characters. You ended up staying over at his place more often than not, falling asleep on the floor while watching a movie together. You spent more time with Seunghyun than you did by yourself, but it never once felt like it was too much.

When you explained your relationship to a friend, they were certain there was more going on between the two of you than just a platonic bond. The thought hadn’t occurred to you before; even though you knew Seunghyun was attractive, you never looked at him through that lense before. You assured your other friend that you didn’t see Seunghyun that way and you were sure he felt the same. You didn’t allow the thought to fester in your mind, too afraid of it ruining your friendship.

So, here you are. Preparing for your final scene before you wrap. You’ve created a character that you’re infinitely proud of and now you have to say goodbye. But it’s more than that. You know that you’ll be saying goodbye to Seunghyun as well. He still has a few scenes to film, and though you wish you could stay to watch, you have to catch a flight later to start production on your next project. So when you spot him standing quietly behind the crew, watching you set up, you find it hard to fight back the tears.

You’d never found yourself in a situation like this. You got along with many of your co-stars on other productions, and made friendships that would last a lifetime, but this was different. Seunghyun was different from all of them. You’d never spent all day and night with a co-star before. You’d never studied art and poetry with a co-star and discussed it at length until your mouth went dry. You’d never created a shared playlist with a co-star, so of course you never fell asleep with your head on their shoulder while you listened to it. You’d never felt this hollow when you envisioned your life after wrap.

You sit on the edge of the bunk, resting your elbows on your knees so you can clasp your hands together. You breathe in and out as slowly as you can, preparing yourself to film this next scene. When the tears sting at your eyes, you sit up straight, rolling your shoulders.

“Shut up,” you whisper to yourself. “Don’t cry yet. Just hang on.” Your actor mentality kicks; you don’t want to waste tears when you have to film a crying scene. “Pull it together,” you mutter under your breath. “Come on.”

It could have been any other scene, and maybe it wouldn’t have felt like this. You are forced to end your time on Squid Game with the demise of Thanos. In some ways, it’s fitting; sending off both of your characters at the same time. You’d already filmed your remaining scenes but you dreaded this one the most. You think that the production team sensed it, and arranged it like this intentionally; you hope they’ll forgive you if you don’t thank them for it.

Filming feels like pulling your heart out of your chest and holding it out in front of you for everyone to see. The sound of your cries echoing in the silent dormitory is surreal, tears streaming down your face with no signs of slowing. When you fall to your knees on the floor, lamenting the loss of your partner, you feel it — the lines start to blur between the characters and yourself, and your cries become real.

It’s the absence of Seunghyun that scares you. Having been so dependent on one another for months like this makes you fear the loss of him. Of course you’ll be able to call or text or even visit, but you fear it won’t be the same. Does your connection only exist in the confines of your characters? Was this born of longing in the art you created together? Fuck, your head feels like it’s going to collapse on itself.

You don’t realize that you’ve gone on autopilot, lost in your mind to your thoughts but still present in the scene. You also don’t notice that you’ve repeatedly slammed your fist against the floor as you deliver your lines, not until you feel someone wrap their arm around your back and grasp your hand to stop you. Ha-neul. He cradles you against his chest, something that you hadn’t rehearsed but something that fits the scene nonetheless.

When the take ends, you prepare to tell the director that you’d need a break to compose yourself before trying again, because somewhere in your mind you felt that it wasn’t what he needed. Maybe it was too much.

“It was perfect.”

The director was certain, along with your castmates who make sure to check on you as Ha-neul helps you to your feet. You feel like you are outside of your own body, watching from above as you are handed a rag to stop the bleeding on your hand. You try to find Seunghyun but you get lost in the crowd, being pulled in different directions as people praise your performance. You say your quick goodbyes, needing to get away from everyone as you become overwhelmed.

Your hands tremble on the walk to your trailer, your breath coming out in shudders as you try to regain your composure. When you step into the trailer and pull the door shut behind you, the silent tears start to fall.

“Do you need me to bandage your hand?”

Seunghyun is sitting on the sofa of your trailer, holding a first aid kit in his hands, a gentle smile on his face. You nod, stifling your tears and replacing them with what you hope reads like relief because you’re so glad it’s him.

Seunghyun stands, crossing to you and taking your uninjured hand to lead you back to the sofa. He makes sure you sit comfortably before he kneels on the ground in front of you, setting up the first aid kit so he can begin to clean your wound.

You can only watch him in silence at first, your eyes darting back and forth between his hands and his face, watching how he concentrates on his work. The tears start to return, quiet again but you struggle to hide the way you start to tremble.

“I don’t want to leave,” you admit, looking down at your hands as he presses a large bandage to your skin. He sighs softly, his hands now still as he stares at the bandage.

“I know,” Seunghyun whispers after a moment of silence. “I don’t want you to leave either.” He shifts his grip on your hand so he now holds it with both of his, fingers gently stroking the top of your hand.

“I think everything is going to be different now,” you say, quietly. Seunghyun pulls in a deep breath and lets it out in a soft sigh, as if he’s trying to find the words. You feel a pang of worry in your chest that he doesn’t feel this same ache in his chest as you do at the thought of leaving.

“I’ll still be here,” he says, finally making eye contact with you. “I won’t keep you out.” You stare into his eyes, an ache in your jaw from struggling to hold back your sobs.

Seunghyun wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumb before he takes hold of your chin with the gentlest grip. When his lips touch yours, you feel as though you drift away, floating above the trees out of your body. You’d never felt something so tender and meaningful. It’s over as soon as it begins, and your eyes stay closed, too afraid that you’d imagined it.

“When do you leave?” Seunghyun’s voice rumbles through your bones, settling heavy in your chest. You open your eyes slowly to meet his gaze again.

“Soon,” you reply, your voice sounding unlike your own: weak and forlorn.

“Okay,” he nods. “We can stay here until then.”

Seunghyun sits beside you on the sofa, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to keep you close to his chest. He offers you headphones to share, to enjoy your playlist together one more time. Relaxing into his arms, you toil over your emotions; what happens now? Is this the end or is there something else? You can’t bring yourself to even think of it yet, because right now, the world doesn’t exist beyond the walls of your trailer.

[indiiglow]

Okay controversial probably, but Love Crime low-key sounds more like a 007 song than a Hannibal song 💀

[moonfromearth]

On Repeat - an oc tag by @elderwisp

"rules are pretty simple, pick as many (or as little) oc's as you'd like and find a song that you relate to them the most! feel free to mention why too! o and tag some more ppl too! that would be cool!"

I may have gone a little overboard 😅 To be honest this tag came around at just the right time! I'd just gotten a new song association and have been working on schoolwork so much that I really needed to do something creative 😆

Originally these were all going to be in similar editing styles (more like Corey's) but somewhere along the way that stopped because I had different ideas that I really wanted to do. Also I cheated a little and a few got more than one song... 🤫

I'm really proud with all of these in the end, and if you want to read more about the stories behind them you can check below the cut! ❤️

I know I'm pretty late to the party now buuut I'll tag: @igglemouse @swiftviolets @stargazer-sims @auspexsims and @seniorpollinationtechnician. Feel free to ignore though if you've already done it/don't want to! 😁

[deep dive under cut!]

COREY ALTMAN

"Holiday" - Green Day:

This song being here is random song association at its finest. The trail pretty much goes "Holiday" by Green Day > Surf's Up > Beach Vibes > Sulani > Globetrotter Challenge > Corey Song. If that makes sense... 😂 Pretty much, you can blame the Sulani round of the Globetrotter Challenge for it, plus the fact that I feel like it's the type of song/genre Corey would use in his own music.

"Catch Me If You Can" - Set It Off:

Now, it would be a crime to talk about songs and Corey without a song by Set It Off. Corey was created when I was listening to their songs a lot, and it definitely rubbed off on him. From his aesthetic to the songs I imagine him playing, a lot of it came from Set It Off. Even his name was derived from the band's lead singer (although changed from Cody to Corey because that's the route my mind took with it idk). So, this song in particular specifically reminds me of Corey for... Honestly probably obvious reasons 😆 "Catch Me If You Can" was pretty much the theme of his Globetrotter Challenge, where he was constantly moving on the run from the law. A line I really like though for him is the part that says, "I only feel at home when I'm on the run," because I feel like that leads into the deeper aspects of Corey. He really isn't at home anywhere, he's always on the move, even when he's not evading capture anymore. There's a certain non-permanence to everything he does. Something funny about the image itself is that it originally wasn't going to be edited to look like the back cover of a CD. When I took the picture of Corey with the guitar I kind of thought "this looks like the back cover of a CD" and when editing I just needed a way to fill the space at the bottom and it turned into a CD back cover edit 🤣 It actually kind of fits though since both of these songs are the sound I associate with Corey's own music so it worked out in the end.

LIZZY ALTMAN

"Unopened Windows" - Set It Off:

So this one is the context behind this post lol. It's been like two years since I started working on this plotline I have to finish it eventually 😆 Anyway, Lizzy's been teased in many tag games so far, but without a name or much information (note: and this name's not final I'm not sure yet). Here you can probably guess based on the song choice how her story goes 😅 Going back to the epilogue of the Globetrotter Challenge, we see that something is going on, and it leads to Lizzy and her dad being separated. So, the entire song lyrically I really felt spoke to them and their situation (more in a future gameplay 😉). Bonus points for it being a Set It Off song, who I associate with Corey, and thought music could have been something that they bonded over and enjoyed together. I have a few things to say about the image itself because it was a struggle but I looooove how it turned out! It turned out essentially how I imagined it with Lizzy playing guitar in the foreground with a sort of memory of her time with her dad in the background. I probably had about five or six different poses that I put in the background because I couldn't decide which one I liked the best 😆 This was the last image I had to work on out of the four, and I was having trouble with how I wanted the song title to look. While I was browsing for overlays and stuff I came across a lot of cutout style poems and ended up adding in some of the lyrics because I thought it would help explain the concept behind the image. In the end this one is one of my favorites which is unbelievable considering how much I thought it was not going to turn out like I imagined 🥰

*UNNAMED*

(Sorry I don't have a name for her yet and don't want to commit to a temporary one 😭)

"Little Chaos" - Orla Gartland:

In a wonderfully serendipitous coincidence, this was the song association I was very into when getting tagged, and was already planning what became this edit! I rarely have song associations for sims/sims stories (despite how many ended up coming together here) so that's why I'll never get over how well timed this all was (thanks again elderwisp!!) On to the song, it has to do with my upcoming gameplay story centered around the For Rent game pack, and starring the pictured sim (who doesn't have a name yet sorry! 😅). She's going through a bit of a tough time where she's very lost and I thought the lines, "And it's a good day for a meltdown. All my thoughts getting too loud," fit really where she's at, especially at the start. Plus, the vibes are perfect. The image itself was inspired by the song's MV and one part in particular, but it looks a lot different now (I was limited by the poses I could find because I refuse to sit down and learn to make my own yet). I liked this idea of the torn pages framing the image, especially because it plays into the plot, which sees the main character do a lot of journaling throughout the story. So, the lined paper had to do with that, and it doubled as being good for making the letters stand out, which I wanted to be big and misaligned to be more "chaotic," though I think that could have been done more/better. Aaaaand the background is a picture of Tomarang, where the story takes place. To be honest this will probably be the cover image once I finalize a name and get started on playing it 😉

GHOST COWBOY

(no he also doesn't have a name yet same as above 😆)

"Ferryman" - Schafer James and Will Wood:

I've actually been having a lot of fun with this character since initially creating him back before the Horse Ranch pack came out (more on him coming out in a few days for the outlaw challenge 😉). So this song.... The entire concept of our ghost cowboy is that he, being somewhat half dead and half alive, winds up being a good source of convincing "unwilling souls" to cross over, and works with the character Death to do so in exchange for finding out why he's not entirely dead. I'll explain it better another time, but I also really love this song and just thought that the concept of the ferryman and the ghost cowboy as ferriers of the dead.

"Toss A Coin To Your Witcher (Epic Version)" - Samuel Kim and Black Gryph0n:

Liiiiisten... My family made me watch three seasons of The Witcher I had to get something out of it 😆 I joke a lot that this character gives off Geralt vibes but honestly they are definitely super similar just based on their overall aesthetic and horse companions. I wanted to be special though and chose this epic cover instead of the original... Just for fun 😁 There were some cool piano covers too that almost made the cut. This is probably a good place to talk about the actual image (yay!). I hope the visibility on it isn't too bad because it ended up waaaay more cluttered than I originally intended, plus the mist effect definitely makes it harder to see the characters. I made his (also unnamed) horse a little more transparent to try and give off this ghostly see through effect so I hope that comes through. The font isn't the kind of "wild west wanted sign" font that I wanted, but I think it's close enough lol.

Credits:

Image by rawpixel.com on Freepik

[xoxoemynn]

give the people what they want (tell us the daphne lore)

HOOOOO BOY OKAY HERE WE GO.

For context, Daphne has her Favorite Bed in my living room, and every day she demands requests we sit together there to bond. Eventually I got myself a little floor chair to go next to her bed because my back simply cannot be on hardwood floors for hours like Daphne prefers, and then I also keep my OFMD blankie there because it gets chilly on the floor and my toes get cold.

ANYWAY, come Saturday, I'm giving Daphne her CBD oil (because that is just one of her many medications), and I accidentally get the TEENIEST TINIEST drop on her bed. But because I don't want it to stain, I immediately wipe it down with soap and water. It leaves small wet patch. Basically make a circle out of your thumb and forefinger. That's more or less the size.

About thirty minutes after that, Daphne decides to return to her bed. And she....puts her paw directly in the wet spot.

The look of BETRAYAL on her face. Honestly, it's a miracle I'm still alive. If she had the power, I'd be incinerated, reincarnated, and dropped off the nearest cliff. That whole Ed killing Hornigold montage? That's what Daphne wanted to do to me.

Anyway, all Saturday, she avoided her bed. I didn't think TOO much of it, because she has countless other beds and pillows and cushions, so it's whatever.

Then comes Sunday. She's doing her little "time to sit on the floor" tippy tappy dance, so I go sit on my floor chair, but she doesn't seem content. And I'll be honest, I was a bit annoyed. I just wanted to write. I was finally in the zone, and Daphne was giving me no peace.

And then she gave me the softest little tap on my knee and the big sad eyes, and I put my laptop aside and she immediately climbed into my lap and curled into a little ball. And I was just about weeping, and Cat's in the Cradle was playing in my head, because Daphne is not usually a daytime cuddler, and she just wanted some love!!! And I was treating my laptop like it was more important!! I was a monster.

Then she hopped off my lap and gave me the "come follow me" eyes, so I did...and she immediately stole my seat and refused to budge. I tried. She said no. It was hers. She had conquered it fair and square. I tried reminding her there were SO MANY Daphne-sized seats for her and fewer me-sized seats and she did not care. So that was Sunday.

COME TODAY. I'm working on the couch, she lets me know she thinks I should be working from the floor like a true professional, I take my floor chair. And she goes to her bed, raises one tiny paw above it....and freezes. Backs away.

I'm reminded of the look of betrayal in her eyes from Saturday.

Yes, that's right. Daphne refused to go in her bed for 48+ hours because her tiny delicate paw touched WET on Saturday and it was SUCH a deeply traumatic experience she couldn't POSSIBLY put herself through that again. I tried ALL. DAY. to get her to give her FAVORITE BED another shot. She refused ALL. DAY. I physically put her in it, she would jump out. I kept pointing to the previously wet spot that was now dry and she looked at me like I was an idiot. I reminded her technically it was cleaner than before and she didn't care. She would sit on the floor chair or on my blanket, if she was feeling generous. No bed for her. Its prior state of Wet made it unacceptable.

Fortunately we have a happy ending. Daphne had some wild zoomies tonight, which did have her leaping over and into her bed, and eventually she tired herself out enough that she forgot her bed had previously been desecrated so now she's snoozing away in it. But I learned my lesson. I can never let the bed get wet again.

Picture below the cut of her on Sunday, stealing my seat, with the bed and blanket that were PERFECTLY VIABLE OPTIONS RIGHT. THERE. so I could sit on the hardwood floor and listen to her snore instead. (If I moved to go back to the couch, she would wake up and look at me all irritated and huff and puff until I return.)

THAT'S DAPHNE.

[chlorine-tangerine]

Samba Da Volta (First Look)

I may not have a full fic for you this year, but I have part of a fic! That’s gotta be something. This is an excerpt from a story I’ve been writing called Samba da Volta (Samba of Return). Even though this isn’t the full thing, I still wanted to share it with the fandom and get some initial reactions.

This story takes place in an alternate universe where Suzuki and Sugiki were in love in high school, but separated when Sugiki moved for university. Sugiki has now returned to his hometown for the summer and meets Suzuki again. You don't need much context other than that, so I hope you enjoy!

It is also available on AO3, but if you don't want to open the link, the text will be under the cut.

Happy 10 Dance Day!

(Excerpt from Samda Da Volta, chapter 2 - Samba E Amor (Samba and Love)

-

Back in the present, the scenes of Sugiki’s high school days were replayed as he browsed through the aisles of the convenience store. The location and layout were the same, even down to the benches and tables outside, just that the store changed names. Of course, Sugiki didn’t expect there to be no change over almost a decade, but it was a peculiar feeling to come back to something that no longer existed in its original state. The same went for Suzuki-kun; he still hadn’t figured out how to face this man whom he knew so much yet so little about at the same time. They severed their bond many years ago, but never completely. They never had a big dramatic breakup like other high school sweethearts. He’s certainly gotten more handsome as he aged… thought Sugiki, then shook his head to avoid that line of thinking. It was late, past 11 PM, and his mind was not to be trusted with emotional thinking at late hours. He sighed, and placed his small basket of snacks onto the checkout counter. Just as he was taking out his credit card, a hand got in the way.

“I’ll pay for him, Auntie. Ring these up for me too, won't you?” A cheerful voice to Sugiki’s right chimed in, dropping half a dozen pack of beer right next to Sugiki’s basket. The cashier’s eyes brightened at the sight of him.

“Shinya! Haven’t seen you in a while, how are your sisters?” She said as she rang up the six-pack. “They’re good, noisy as ever. I heard your leg is all better now. Good for you!” That topic opened up a can of worms, and the middle-aged woman started a long story of her leg injury. Half-listening, Suzuki turned to the dark-haired man and gave him an innocent look with raised eyebrows and a half-smile, “Hey,” he said quietly.

Sugiki was not amused or charmed, evident by his sideward glance and thin mouth. The man in question wouldn’t know, but running into him right after thinking about his attractiveness was a little embarrassing for Sugiki, even at his age. “I’ll pay for myself, thank you very much.”

“Come on, have a drink with me. I can’t finish this all by myself.”

“Then you shouldn't have bought that much.” For a moment, it was as if they were picking up right where they left off the other night, teasing each other with no real meaning to it. Sugiki answered his own question from earlier; maybe this is how he should treat Suzuki-kun, try to be friends again, especially when he made it so easy. He stepped aside and allowed the blond man to pay, then went outside with the snacks and beverages as Suzuki finished up his conversation with the cashier.

Suzuki followed the dark-haired man with his eyes, then quickly came back to the cashier to bid her goodnight. As he stepped out into the humid air and pulled up a stool opposite Sugiki, he wondered: does he still remember this place? They met up here countless times after school, took turns treating each other to snacks, he had to remember. But a lot had happened over time, Suzuki only remembered because this place was so hard to avoid. Sugiki, quietly eating his cookies, sat facing the bench behind the store. He stared mindlessly at it, the memory of their first kiss so far away yet so close by. In fact, that memory was sitting less than half a meter away from him. When he turned to look at Suzuki, he was surprised to find him staring back.

“... Nothing. You have quite a sweet tooth,” the man gestured to the wafers and cookies (most of them chocolate-flavored) on the table and smoothly reached over for a can of beer. Sugiki got defensive about his choice of late-night snacks, “I was in the mood for it,” he said with a slight pout. Suzuki found it cute but thought it best to not tell him.

“What?”

He tried picking up the conversation and asked about the trip to the hospital. It was quite disheartening to get a one-sentence response, and soon they found themselves listening to the cicadas again. That topic ended pretty quickly, thought Suzuki as he ate some more of the snacks to keep himself looking busy. What were they supposed to talk about now? Their meeting last time ended awkwardly, and there was only so much to catch up on. Maybe it was a mistake to ask Sugiki to stay. Maybe he was still the self-confident teenager, scrambling to come up with words in front of Sugiki.

Out of nowhere, the dark-haired man spoke, “Hey, can I ask you something?” Suzuki shifted his body so that he was facing the table now. “Hm?”

“I don’t know if you remember, but I was being really petty to you the other day you came for dinner.”

“Oh, I don’t even remember that, you’re good.”

Sugiki shrugged, “Still, that wasn’t nice. But I mean it; it’s good to know she has someone… She always looked lonely to me.” After a few days of rumination, he realized that his mother was not a social person. While he had Suzuki to rely on after his father’s passing, he couldn’t recall who Sayaka turned to. All of a sudden, he sympathized with that loneliness, even if she had turned him away back then.

“You too,” Suzuki blurted out, catching him off guard. Sugiki rushed to defend himself, “Me? No, that’s only because I’m here. I’m not like this with friends.”

“I guess I wouldn’t know. It’s not like you have any other friends here.”

“How would you know? Maybe I do,” teased Sugiki, rejecting the label put on him. Suzuki took the retort at face value. Did he have other friends here? The ones he could think of had all moved out of town, as far as he knew. “Do you?” he shot Sugiki a doubting look. A playful smile crept onto his face, “...no,” leaving the two laughing quietly.

Suzuki stood up to tidy the table, “Well, if you’re not gonna be doing anything while you’re here, we might as well hang out more. Get dinner sometime.”

“I don’t know… I still have to work on my research even if I’m out of town.” The blond man scoffed at the answer and turned around. Sugiki’s bookishness never once stopped being annoying. “That can’t take up all your time.” Before Sugiki could come up with a witty comeback, he continued, “Stop being a nerd. I'm free after I get off Friday afternoon. Come to my house, I'll cook you something.”

Sugiki got up, eyes level with the other man; Suzuki’s lopsided smile took him back to a simpler time. It would be dishonest to refuse after all the persuasion.

“Alright, fine. Friday. You can text me your address later.” The two parted ways back to their homes. Sugiki hummed as he walked now that there was something to look forward to.

[bengiyo]

Marahuyo Project Eps 5 & 6 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Lorie decided to befriend King and Venice, and joined their club. When someone spray painted the mural of Ino’s ancestor, the other kids and dean blamed King, but Lorie stepped forward to claim she did it as well. The queer club was punished with community service to clean the beach, and the three bonded over their time together. We learned that Lorie’s queer awakening is complicated by her anger at her father’s infidelity (and men as a whole as a result). We learned about a young person who died on the beach, revealed to be a close friend of Venice’s and Archie named Christina. Archie refuses to use Christina’s name because he believes it was her queerness that got her killed, and it’s why he’s trying to protect Venice by demanding she withdraw from her expression of herself. We also learned that Ino’s dad likely left their family for a queer relationship, Ino is admittedly falling for King, and his mom told him directly to not be gay. Also, King’s mom cut his hair in his sleep and I am still pissed about it.

Episode 5: Hunyango

I do love the bits of history and mythology we get at the beginning of each episode. I liked how this one highlighted the journeys of many of the characters.

Few things more powerful than a bunch of out kids enjoying an early morning strut. Poor Lorena, though. She wasn’t ready for this divide between her and Lili.

Oh good. It was just Ino with a torch. I clearly play too much d20 fantasy.

The kids are right. Naming things is hard.

Growing up, my dad thought I might become a priest.

I respect this line that Venice is walking in the conversation with Archie to reach through his walls.

Oh wow. Archie is so stressed that he’s scratched up the whole back of his neck. That’s uncomfortable.

Aw, Venice. I’m enjoying the brainstorming session. It’s good to model what planning communication with people not predisposed to listen to you. I also love that they decided to build their plan around the local context of Marahuyo and then immediately transitioned to Lorie legitimately doing research about her home.

Lorie, your friend looks worried. Can you not look at her lips like you wanna kiss her right now?

Whoa, what’s going on with Lili? Are we going beyond the Q in the acronym?

Ino is also correct. You cannot frame a presentation around a local context without directly engaging with the locals who are the context.

🎶 Flashback! Who’s that?? 🎶

Oh, Ino, what have you been through that you thought to ask before hugging King?

I’m very curious about the statue they uncovered on the beach.

Hold on, did Venice add Christina’s name to hers as a way to honor her? I need to lay down for a bit.

Ah, so we’re definitely going into rare presentation with Lili. I am seated (once I get off the floor from the last bullet).

Oh no. Please stop showing me Archie’s neck. It’s a good visual to show how these internalized pressures and traumas express in physical ways, but oof.

Episode 6: Sirena

Super amped about these kids taking the research component seriously within their specific connections. Lorie got info that her dad has access to as the mayor. Venice got info from the church through Archie. King got equipment so they can conduct interviews. Now they’re all gathered and reviewing the information they have.

“Joining us as an ally.” Wow, so many points to this show for reminding people that sometimes an ally is someone who isn’t ready to or can’t come out. In any case, they are with us in the movement.

Poor Venice. She just doesn’t know things.

Hold on…I think I recognize the Lola Puri actress. I will look her up when we get to the credits.

Good job on this show for priming people with the earlier lesson about babaylans for this reveal here.

Boys, are we doing a gay pinkie touch during the critical history lesson?

Hey, this is really good. They have an oral history now connecting a prized tradition to the yearnings of a respected ancestor for another man who turned on him in a cruel way. Unfortunately, the villain of this story happens to be one of Ino’s ancestors. Sad, but unsurprising, that a homophobe gained prominence for outing and robbing a queer man.

I’m really touched by how all of the kids had such an emotional reaction to the story and how it reflected some of their own feelings. I deeply appreciate this show for letting me see others experience how queer history feels for me.

Goddamit, Marco, I was enjoying a complicated, difficult moment. Can you fuck off?

Thank you, Lili, for destroying this man. Make sure to hydrate.

Who is this man at the dinner table in Ino’s house? It’s probably not the dad, right?

And there it is again: Venice telling Archie that courage isn’t built around coming out. He still helped them where it counted.

I’m so sick of this priest.

I do love Juvy. She’s usually so correct and King actually listens to her.

“Who are you?” “Incorrect answer! I already know your name.”

On the real. I’m so proud of Ino. The first person you have to say it to is yourself.

Oh noooo. This is probably actually Ino’s dad. This scene is about to get even uglier.

Mmmm. I don’t like Lili giving up her shorts and then immediately going to a scene where she has to get rough with Marco.

Wow, this is horrible. What a way to end this episode.

I did recognize the Lola actress! That's Angie Castrence! I knew it was Gavreel’s homophobic aunt from Gameboys 2! This was a great 6th episode with very clear ideas and goals. This episode focused completely on coming out, who it’s for, and whether it’s necessary. I like that we had three characters all scared to come out, but it’s eating away at all of them. Archie is literally tearing his neck apart in anxiety. Ino is say gay and in love that it’s leaking out of him, to the point that he was forced to confront his own mom. Lili has been outed by Marco. I love that all of our out characters reassured our closeted characters that they didn’t need to come out. Can’t believe I’ve got two shows in contention for show of the year right now.

[hyperesthesias]

Decisions & Desire Part II

Notes: Look, what I want you to take away from this is: 'I love you. Most ardently'. I even got the rain thing going. Song choice for this installment is: Arrival of the Birds by The Cinematic Orchestra.

Context: Anya and Viktor are childhood friends who have reconnected seven months ago. Anya is a mage, and a theoretical physicist; she is also a patron of Viktor and the Academy. They have rekindled their friendship, and are in love with each other. Because Anya is a different species, who lives for hundreds of years, and takes only one mate for her lifespan, Viktor has recused himself from her life, not wanting to cause her further pain. However, Jayce has some choice words for his friend. Anya also learns more about transformation rituals from her temple elder.

word count: 4,411

Tag List: @uniquedeerwitch ; @funcoolchickie (Let me know if you would like to be tagged!)

AO3 link

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Anya kept the company of her kinfolk, while Viktor kept himself confined to his laboratory. She had not seen him in nearly a week – neither had she heard from him, despite her occasional visits to the lab with pertinent information and translations of runework. Whenever she made an appearance there, Viktor always seemed absent, and her work was relayed solely through Jayce, who asked her no questions, neither pressed any agendas about the crystal or her relationship with her friend. It only made her feel more alone.

Despite the happy faces and the welcome invitations from her kin at the temple, Anya felt no desire to join them in preparations for the Autumnal Equinox festival – she had no mirth to contribute to the festival at all, and instead planned on recusing herself from the event. Regardless of where she went, or with whom, the abstinence of her friend’s love, and desire for their bonding, followed her – a horrible shadow that clung to her, even when the Sun shone brightest. His life was fragile, its length short, and she saw his grappling as a hindrance to the time that could be shared between them, despite the obstacles presented to them. 

Her elder, Nana, was the only one of the temple who asked nothing of her, nor expected her presence in any capacity, except for that of a cup of tea. Nana was seven hundred years old, and she was the oldest and wisest among their community. She had long, silver hair that ran past her feet, and that matched her age; she had weathered skin and a warm smile that crinkled her eyes. Her home resided on the temple acreage, and she tended the sacred trees and flora and fauna that made the grounds lush and vibrant. Her cottage smelled of herbs, and the couch was well worn from visitors who sought her company. She was quick to listen, and slow to scold, but always had advice when it was asked of her.

“I have more ideas about the transmutation spell you asked me about some while ago,” Nana said, and served Anya a cup of berry tea. “I found a codex in the old catacombs of the temple. Don’t tell anyone.”

Anya smiled lightly, and held the cup in her lap. She had no desire to speak.

“There are many legends of shape shifting, as you know,” she continued with a huff and a grunt as she sat down on the couch. “Many talk of our ancient ancestors who could change into jaguars or hummingbirds during the heat of battle. Even dragons. But birds and cats sounds more believable to me,” she eyed her young guest with a simper. “Though much of what is written in these codices are thought of as fantasy by the majority – superstition and stories meant to inspire awe and terror into the hearts of enemies from long ago.”

“Do you believe it is possible?” Anya asked.

Nana looked at her and shrugged as she took a sip of tea. “I’ve seen too much to disregard anything at all. There are some who are gifted with the abilities of magic – like you and your parents; others who can communicate with animals and spirits. Who’s to say there is not a gene somewhere out there, wandering around, that can cause someone to shape shift? Maybe it got lost,” she chuckled.

“Did the codex suggest wanting anything in return for this power?”

Nana looked at her, suspicious, but she conceded: “No, there was no mention of an exchange – it was a power bestowed by the divinities. A gift. There were times it was granted as a way to smite an opponent in battle. Others, it was given as a way to protect a village or a family.”

Whatever the secret had been of transmutation, it was evident it was long lost, and was now regaled into the nebulous mythos of cultural tales. Anya set her untouched tea on the table in front of them, and nodded. “Thank you, Nana. But I do not feel up to having anything at the moment. I think I will leave.”

“What is wrong, my dear?” Nana asked, and held out her hand that she might stay.

“It is nothing. Childish things.” She shook her head, afraid she would think her a fool for her despondency. Viktor’s stubbornness was a sufficient burden, but Nana’s disapproval would be more than she could bear.

Nana gave her a sad smile as she watched the affliction on her soft face. “There is no such thing as too small a grief.”

Anya looked to her, reticent. She debated on what to say, but knew that if there was any one person in her community who could be relied upon, it would be Nana. “It does not feel small,” she admitted.

“This isn’t about runes.” Nana set her cup of tea down.

“No. It is not.” She looked out of the window at the far end of the room, she watched as the wildflowers blew, delicate and limber, in the afternoon sun – their stems and leaves had begun to turn brittle as Summer ended and as Autumn began. Soon, they would be wilted and returned to the earth from which they first grew. Viktor’s ailing health pressed upon her heart and she resisted the stinging in her eyes. She swallowed the hot, salted water that had gathered at the back of her throat, and she kept her head down. “There is someone with whom I wish to bond,” she said. She could not bring herself to say anything more.

“Have they refused you?” Nana asked.

“The desire is mutual. But he will not bond with me.”

Nana could think of no reason why someone would be so indecisive. Anya was well off – finances would never be a concern; there were no wars in which their kind had been involved, in Piltover or in Zaun, that could have amassed prejudice; there were no quarreling families within their own community that would prevent a peaceful union with Anya – a union with her would have been covetous. “Why?” she asked, bewildered.

“He is human,” she said. The tears she fought gathered at the edges of her eyes, and she struggled to keep them at bay as she looked at her elder. She turned away as a droplet ran down her face. “His health is frail, even by the standard of his kind. His lifespan will be cut short. He will not bond with me, so that I will not be alone when he dies.”

“That is honorable.”

“Too honorable,” Anya sniffled.

Nana smiled. There were few who understood and heeded the ways of their species – especially humans. To find someone with such zealous respect was both a blessing and curse.

“Nana – What is it like? To have a bonded who is no longer here.”

She took a long, slow breath, and memories passed her eyes as she thought on what to say. Her own bonded had been gone for nearly fifty years. It felt like an eternity. “I can still feel him – as I always did. When you bond with someone, you can feel what they feel, you can know where they are, and see the world through their spirit. It is the same, even now. He is still alive, somewhere. But not here. I feel that he misses me, as much as I miss him,” she gave Anya a smile, one full of joy and longing. She caressed her face – bright and full of youth and knowing. “This man loves you. Human men make no sacrifices for things they do not love. What will be, will be. Even if you love him from afar.”

Another tear fell onto Anya’s visage, and Nana gently brushed it away.

Anya returned to her quiet, cavernous home as clouds began to move their way through the sky. She recalled a rainy day in Zaun, where her mother told her to search for a bucket in the scrap heap around the corner from their house. The roof had sprung a leak, and Anya spent the night bailing out buckets of water. She was stricken with the cold, and became bed-ridden and ill, her mother tended to her with poultices and compresses for a week.

Her mansion made of marble had no leaks, and every gutter led to the gardens beneath. There were beds for vegetables and fresh herbs, there were fruit trees and bushes that yielded plentiful stone fruits and berries. She wanted for nothing. Except for the love she could not have.

She sat alone the rest of the afternoon in the salon, with a well lit fire and a hot cup of coffee as the rain began to fall, persistent and dour against the breadth of the windowpanes. She had numerous books on runes and shape shifting spread across the cushions, but she resented each of them. They all reminded her of Viktor.

Viktor arrived at the lab in a foul mood. The previous night left him restless, and what little sleep he gathered was listless and fitful. His mind was tired and overworked, and his heart had grown numb from the final exchange he shared with Anya; it sat on his stomach like a stone, and he felt himself pinned beneath it. Though he gave little credence to the tenements of Fate, he was beginning to believe in something far worse: bad luck. Luck, that he had reconnected with his friend after a decade and a half, and bad luck to have sabotaged his relationship with her. He lost the love of his life. He had no one other than himself to blame.

Viktor said nothing upon entering the lab and he promptly sat at his workbench, hunched over his journal; he analyzed the data he gathered the previous evening, along with several of Anya’s notes taped to the inside of his notebook. He could feel Jayce’s eyes on him from across the room. 

Jayce sat not far away – he had been studying the crystal under a lens, having arrived at the lab nearly two hours before his partner. He leaned back in his chair with a deep sigh, his hands ran down his face – every facet of the crystal was beginning to blur into one another, and he could hardly tell the difference between the runes anymore. He looked up towards his friend again, who seemed to share his same, glossy-eyed look. 

“You hungry?” he asked.

Viktor gave no reply.

Jayce tilted his head, trying to see the expression on his friend’s face. It was stern, guarded, and unmoving. Viktor was not often outwardly expressive, but he was not devoid of feeling altogether, and he had come to know Viktor well enough to see when his friend was perturbed – despite the few indications he might give evidently. Jayce rolled the chair closer to his partner. “Hey –” he tapped his shoulder.

Viktor started and took a sharp breath. “What?” he growled as he shot Jayce a glance.

“I think we could both use a break. Why don’t we get something to eat.” A drop in blood sugar would explain Viktor’s harsh disposition.

He waved him off. “I am fine, go on without me.”

Jayce stared at him with scepticism. “You don’t look fine.”

Viktor closed his eyes and slowly inhaled. “There are things in my private life I would like to keep private,” he said. Jayce had become a friend – Viktor’s only friend besides Anya; and while his two friends were each other’s acquaintance, Viktor was careful never to divulge more than the superficial in regard to Anya and her background. He had given Jayce no knowledge as to her species, or her capabilities as a mage; the extent of his appraisal had been their friendship in childhood, and her success at the Academy. Nothing more, and nothing less. 

Concern built itself deeper into Jayce, and worry furrowed itself into his features. Not long ago, Viktor saved his life from the broken ledge of his apartment. The chill of that terrible night’s air gripped him by the throat, and he refocused himself onto his friend, instead. “You don’t have to suffer in silence.”

Viktor stopped, overcome with the memory of watching Jayce nearly step over the ledge and into death. They never spoke of it. They did not have to. It was a hermetic secret between the two of them, one that was never forgotten, and never mentioned. But Viktor could hear between what was not said. He sighed and turned on the stool, throwing the pencil on the notebook. “There is a dilemma, in my personal life, that has no favorable solution,” he said. “My only choice is to accept the consequence, and proceed with my life. My work,” he motioned to the notebook.

Jayce stared at him, more confused than before, his worries no more allayed. “Are you…getting fired?”

Viktor scoffed. “No. Although, I supposed I could be,” he murmured. His position at the Academy forbade any fraternization with a donor. It was yet another obstacle that bid him forget about whatever childish emotions welled themselves inside of his mind. “My affections for Anya have grown beyond that of friends,” he admitted. The feeling of her soft skin imprinted itself on his hands as he spoke, the feel of her breath as he kissed her, the sweet taste of her – she flooded into him all at once, and his chest tightened.

Jayce’s face softened and he began to smile.

“There is nothing to be done about it.” He turned back to his workbench.

“What do you mean?” Jayce asked, taken aback.

Viktor rolled his tongue in his mouth, his jaw stiffened and his eyes pierced through the pages of the book underneath his palms. He debated whether to speak of Anya’s species, but if he knew anything of his friend, he knew Jayce understood the value of a secret. “Anya is not like you and me. Her species is capable of living for a thousand years. In that time, they will have only one mate. It is for their lifetime. It is a bond that will last, even after death. My affection for her now will be meaningless in five hundred years.” He swallowed and closed the notebook. “She would be alone. That is not something I will allow.”

“So you’re not going to say anything?” 

“I already have.”

“And? What did she say?”

“We have not spoken in a week, since.”

“Well what the hell did you say?”

Viktor rolled his eyes. “I was honest with her. It is what she deserves. I told her my affection, and also told her it was better we do not bond.”

“She deserves the opportunity to decide for herself, Viktor.”

The lines in Viktor’s face drew deeper, and he felt offense flush his face.

“You made the decision for her. What if she wants to be with you?”

“Then it would be better for me to suffer the next thirty years alone, than her for centuries more.”

Jayce stayed quiet as he watched his friend anguish. 

“My refusal to bond with her is not out of arrogance or self-centeredness.”

“Viktor, she won’t wait for you forever.”

“That is exactly the point,” he denounced him. “Thirty years from now, I will be dead. And in three hundred years, she will find another she loves.”

“What if she doesn’t find anyone? What if it’s only you?”

“Statistics would argue otherwise.” He sighed and looked away from his friend as he leaned back in the chair. “I would never fault her for wanting to love another. But we will have already been bonded.”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“No, not bad – foolish. We are not the same kind. We were not meant to bond.” He ended the conversation and returned to his notes.

Jayce gave him a disgruntled frown, though he knew Viktor was unable to see it. He remained silent, and only watched his friend compartmentalize his pain – despite how well Viktor assumed he was hiding it, Jayce could see his grief plainly. They had not known each other long, but knew him to be a lonely, stoic man, who devoted his life to proving his worthiness through science and advancement. He was a good man, who always thought of others before himself. Who thought of the woman he loved before his own desires. Jayce could not say the same about himself. Though he did not know Anya well, he knew she was the only one who could make Viktor laugh and smile without restraint; when they were together, Jayce saw enjoyment in his life – rather than only discipline and hardship. 

Perhaps he lived vicariously through his friend – that the merit of perseverance could be met with reward and happiness. Perhaps he resented him for refusing to accept such happiness. Or perhaps he was merely frustrated with his friend’s stubbornness. “You’re fighting this really hard,” he said.

Viktor took a grated breath and threw up his palms, knowing he would not get any work done with Jayce’s ever-optimistic meddling. “What would you have me do?”

“Stop sabotaging yourself.”

“And when she is left alone with no one, with nothing? What then? I will not be responsible for her suffering.”

“You already are.”

Viktor gnawed the inside of his mouth and looked away.

“You can’t live your life in the theoretical.”

Life was incalculably more complicated than the theoretical, or the practical – it was an egregious amalgamation of both, that fit neither descriptor. And sometimes, there were no viable solutions. Sometimes, there was only the best that could be done. Viktor’s parents did the best they could, despite their poverty, despite their flaws and faults. There were times, much like this, he wished he could talk to them. Ask for their guidance and advice, their life experience. But even without it, Viktor did the best he could. 

That was all that could be done.

Viktor drove a carriage from the Academy, after Jayce left the lab in the late afternoon. The Sun was setting, and dusk and rain were easily approaching on the horizon – cooler hues of orange and magenta sunk with the dark, impending clouds behind the Piltover skyline, and Viktor recalled a time when he could not see the Sun set, nor when it rose. He drove in silence as he mulled over the arguments of his friend, and the blistered emotions that imprinted themselves within his chest. The ability to intuit the machine beneath his hands allowed his mind to wander freely; he shifted it from each of its gears without fault or hesitation, and his left leg moved with ease to control the clutch and acceleration. The ability to pilot a machine granted him freedom from the physical fetters that plagued him daily – the rare moments in which he felt his body free from restraint, granted his mind clarity and respite.

Anya deserved honesty, he concluded. Honesty – not only in his emotions, but in his actions. There was a distinct line he observed: to deny them both the opportunity of bonding was dishonest, to himself, and also to her. Jayce, for all his meddling, had been correct: Anya deserved to make her own honest decisions, and Viktor was required to trust her instincts, and trust the decisions she made for the course of her future. It was iniquitous, and it was presumptuous to determine her future for her. It was her future. Not his. But together, they could share the present.

The road to her home was winding, along a paved path lined with trees and wildlife. Though her mansion was modern, even by the Kiramann’s standards, the reclusivity and pastoral beauty of its location was something that appealed to him. Her culture revolved around the natural world, around the connection between their species and all life around them. It suited her that her home was deep within the forest. The fresh air of the treeline, and the onset of clean rain was a relief to his lungs, and to the memories of Zaun’s filth that permeated his mind.

The carriage pulled into the circular driveway, and he could see a dim light through the many windows of the house. Rain pummelled his shoulders the moment he stepped out, and he hurried with his cane as well as he could across the cobblestone for cover underneath the porch. But the winds were shifting through the forests and mountains around them, and despite the cover of the overhang, the rain smattered him sideways. He pulled a gilded knocker on the door, and tapped it three times. He waited, eagerly, and mulled over everything he wanted to say while he attempted to keep a chill at bay.

Moments seemingly blurred into hours, and, presently, Anya answered the door.

“Viktor?” She stared at him, shocked – misery clung to his features, and she knew he had not slept; hunger drew the color from his face, and the rain drenched him from his hair to his shoes.

Everything he wanted to say, everything he planned on saying – every point he wanted to make suddenly vanished. He stood there – dumb and silenced.

“Are you alright?”

But everything he wanted to say, could be condensed into one singular phrase: “Anya, I love you.” He met her eyes with pleading, and swallowed; he felt bare having said the words aloud. “I do not know anything with certainty, but that I love you. I do not know the future. And I know nothing of magic. But, I try.” Even in the downpour around them, his throat felt parched. “I want to try. For however long the future will have me in this life. If you will have me.”

Anya’s heart raced within her, and she saw their future written plainly on his face: one of happiness, and one of hope – despite whatever hardships they might face. Her smile trembled at the thoughts and images that played before her mind’s eye. She nodded, breathless.

But he shook his head, afraid she had given her blessing too soon. He reached for her, as if to implore her, and petition her grace. “I cannot give you status. I can give you no children –”

She dismissed his fear, and cupped his face. “I do not bond with you for what you can give me,” she said. “My bond is my love for you, Viktor. Always.”

Viktor weakened at her words, and water flushed his face – though from tears, or from the rain, he could no longer distinguish. Her hands were warm, and any part of him that had been frozen or chilled melted at her touch. He nuzzled his cheek into her palm, and took her hand to kiss it – his cane moved to the crook of his arm. He breathed in her scent and revelled in the benevolence of her softness, with the thought of awakening to her beside him every morning, and falling asleep to the sound of her every night. He looked to her one last time: “Are you certain?”

“More than anything.” She brushed the water from the stern lines of his countenance, and gently pulled him towards her.

Gladly, he met her lips and drank in the sweetness of her taste. He caressed his palms around her face, where he left behind streaks of rain on her skin, and on her clothes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him taut, pressed against her.

Viktor took a breath and leaned against her face as she nuzzled her head into his shoulder. A pang gathered in his throat: not one of sadness, nor of the grief that had so despairingly plagued him the last week, but a pang of great and overwhelming emotion. Which emotion he could not clearly ascertain: happiness, relief, uncertainty and anxiousness of the future. It was akin to the peace and quiet calm that is only left behind after a storm. He felt a tear escape him, amidst the serenity inside of him. “What must I do,” he asked, his voice overcome with whelm and affection, “to bond with you, with the ritual of your people?”

Anya held him tighter with gratitude for his recognition, and moved to see his eyes: “You must find me a feather, and braid it into my hair.” 

The carnal intimacy of her sacred hair – to caress it, and comb it, to bring her pleasure with it, seldom occurred to him, but the thought was ardent and clear to him now. He stroked the side of her face, where the back of his hand graced against the edge of her mane; she emanated a quiet purr at his touch, and he relinquished his hand, flustered – though she had made no effort to pull away from him. He took her hand, instead, and kissed it once more.

Anya invited him inside, to warm himself by the fire; he sat on the couch where she had staked herself throughout the afternoon – books were still strewn across the salon, he chose one as he put his leg up onto an ottoman. Before he could protest, she poured him a hot cup of coffee of his own, and offered him a helping of sweet bread and fresh cheese.

“Thank you,” he said, and took the cup and plate.

“You forgot to eat again.”

“Bad habit,” he looked at her, diffident.

She raised a brow. “Which means you have also forgotten your medicine.”

Realization struck him, and he searched his pocket for his pill case. In the wave of ecstasy and emotion, he had not felt the pain in his back and hip, but as his mind anchored itself again, he felt it worm itself into the forefront of his attention.

Anya sat next to him, and leaned against him as he ate, and drank, and swallowed his pills. He looked at her, in the firelight – she was the beauty of a brilliant star, illuminated by the cosmos. He wrapped her in a blanket that was thrown behind them on the couch. He wondered, what life would be like thirty years thence, when he was frail, when he had even less to give her – nothing except the love he would always have for her. He saw his own future with her, as the fire danced across her: lenitive, contented, and a life in which he may always be free from fear. With her, Viktor felt safe. He always had. He always would.

[fanbun]

Time for me to talk about Hazbin Hotel now that season 1 has ended!

I’d like to start off by saying I enjoyed watching the show. It is a visual delight that introduces some much-needed variety to the western adult animation space. Charlie and Vaggie as main characters hooked me even way back when I watched the pilot on YouTube. And although many of the songs caught me off guard in the episodes themselves, I kept going back to listen to them for days afterward.

But in all honesty, when it comes to writing, season 1 is a structural mess that wants to do as much as it can in 8 episodes rather than narrow its focus to what is most important for a first season. Yes, of course this is subjective to an extent, but the lightning-fast pacing the show quickly adopts is a common complaint even among the most hardcore fans. It is glaringly obvious that major plot points and character development are rushed because Vivienne did not want to compromise her vision to fit neatly into the number of episodes given to her.

Sure, I agree that 8 episodes a season shouldn’t be the norm but I don’t think the quality of a show is doomed to suffer because of that. Choices were made by the writers to include characters and scenes that could have easily been saved for a later date or even cut entirely. Season 1 didn’t even have to end with a climactic battle between heaven and hell, as first seasons are usually meant to introduce characters and provoke further intrigue that can be expanded upon later. But as it turns out the almighty cool factor demanded a war to end season 1 and that’s what we got.

This is something I’ve noticed often while watching Hazbin. The spectacle of engaging designs, captivating animation sequences and catchy songs quite literally steal the show. This “cool factor” will almost make you forget that many of the main characters have hardly spoken to each other outside of a few brief jokes here and there.

Hazbin wants to be cool and it wants to have an expansive cast of characters to make the world-building feel fleshed out. But this doesn’t exactly work when we’ve hardly gotten to know a character before moving on to the next one who seems far less relevant to the main selling point of the hotel that the first season is SUPPOSED to be establishing.

And here’s where a HUGE issue with the pacing comes in and that’s how fast we see sinners at the hotel get better. It doesn’t feel like 6 months have passed in the show since there is barely an indication of the passage of time, and we also don’t get to see much struggle to change from those staying at the hotel. Both Sir Pentious and Angel Dust are given their own character development episodes, but in my opinion a single episode for each is not enough to feel like the development was realistic and earned. Directly afterward we see them immediately improved and acting as if they have become close family with those staying at the hotel.

It was jarring to watch since I felt like I was missing the context for when all of the characters bonded to the extent of being that close. The only characters I saw bonding in a way that felt real were Angel Dust and Husk, and even though episode 4 was terrific for showing Angel’s struggles and how the hotel serves as his support network, it made me desperately crave more genuine moments like it.

I especially wanted more genuine moments between Charlie and Vaggie since they experienced an upset in their relationship towards the tail end of the season. And unfortunately the last two episodes didn’t satisfy me since the two talked more with other characters I wasn’t interested in than with each other. It’s a shame that Alastor often steals their spotlight, and from what I’ve heard season 2 is going to be more about Alastor and the Vees too. This worries me, as it seems Vivienne is showing favoritism for the supporting cast over the main characters.

Still, I will definitely be checking out season 2 when it’s released to see if there have been any improvements. And even if there aren’t, it’ll be a fun show to turn my brain off to. I see the show’s existence as a net positive for the animation industry despite the issues I have with it.

[rise-my-angel]

Robb’s like you call her your lady wife yet fuck her out here like a common whore.

Jon’s like at least it’s better than an army camp with my mother listening

Or

jon’s like i heard her from your chambers to mine, maybe treat her like you love her for once

Robb’s like I’m not the one who got her pregnant and risking her life.

Jon’s yelling she got killed in YOUR war brother but robb’s walking away

Im gonna be honest I've read this like 5 times and I'm still laughing. The accuracy? The pettiness?? The way they call each other out like total fucking hypocrites with no self awareness over it???

Robb's like, "You fuck her out in the open as if you're in a brothel. Isn't she your Queen now, do you have no respect? You can't even close your window, everyone can hear you two at night just outside your window. I never treated her like a whore."

"No, you just call her one."

"That's without context, Snow. Shut the fuck up. Maybe if you talked like that to her once in a while, she wouldn't have to come crawling to me the next night begging to have fun. And what the fuck is with the bruises, are you beating her or what?"

Just will rip into Jon for how often Jon fucks you so roughly where anyone can see or walk in on, because Robb absolutely hates the idea of people seeing you that way.

The second Jons like "Maybe treat her like you love her for once." It turns into blood sports all over again. Jon just says this while seething because he hates when he has to hear you with Robb because he has such a dark clawing need to burst in and steal you from Robb himself. (He cannot tell Tormund about those thoughts he'd never hear the end of the jokes about how much he's turned his little crow into a wildling finally).

Meanwhile Robb rips into Jon for shit that is not at all his fault, like taking you North while pregnant, for the incident in Moat Cailin with the Brotherhood, for the time you were attacked in the Nightfort by a wight. Just tears him a new one for all of that.

Jon is just like "She was murdered fighting your war, what are you talking about?" Robb isn't listening though, he's too busy listing off the ways Jon has not protected you properly, as if Robb didn't watch you get stabbed to death in front of his eyes.

Jon gets him triple. First with the fact that your father thinks of Jon like a son, and all he did was scold and talk shit towards Robb when he was the one who married you to him. Second that he's the one with the experiance and the Valyrian Steel sword that can protect you from the coming winter. Then hammers the final nail like, "Me and her are bonded for life, she brought me back from the dead. The old gods know we belong together."

Robb just hits him like, "Yeah, well I still fucked her in my bed for her first time. I'll always be the one who took her maidenhood and had her begging for me to do it, too."

Meanwhile you have hidden away in Theons chambers like old times, telling Olly if either of them come looking for you, then they have to find you themselves, and no using the direwolves to sniff you out, thats cheating. They never guess Theons chambers for so long, because they assume you wouldn't want to hang out in the room Theon used to annoy the shit out of you by loudly fucking so many women in. Which is why you hide out there.

"If they are at each others throats long enough while we're hiding here, then maybe for once I can go to sleep without passing out from exhaustion."

Theon just stares at you in an amused disbelief. "How'd a prude like you grow up to get so much dick?"

If you didn't need five goddamn minutes away from their possessive arguing, you'd have left then and there but only because you know Theons right. You didn't know what sex was until you were almost thirteen, how did this become your life?

[monokuma-apologist]

Such a random and rambling post, but I got the three mainline Danganronpa games for Christmas.

I had already experienced them all prior to that, however I had done that with my sister / using her copies of the games. As well as this, I have at this moment only ever seen the THH anime and listened to a playthrough of the game (my sister was just excited for GD, LOLOL). So, since I wanted to play it for real anyways and just got it, I’ve been having my mom play through it with me.

Usually, to scratch this want-to-share-my-interest itch, I’d infodump to my friend, but…

I lost my best and at-the-time only close / similarly geeky friend earlier this year. (She’s alive, don’t worry! The context? I was conditioned by her for years into being co-dependent, and then abandoned by her for being co-dependent..with her definition of “co-dependent” being me wanting her to spend any sort of time with me. 😬. But that’s a story for my currently-horrified-on-my-behalf therapist to unpack!)

My interest in this franchise was initially a coping mechanism to distract myself from that situation (I had decided to redirect my energy into these games, since it was something I was bonding with my sister over!). It was a double-edged sword, though- that friend and I used to share all of our interests with each other, and though she’d never humor me by playing the games (understandable in a vacuum, saddening when combined with the fact that she would rarely humor me with anything) she’d usually let me ramble about the things I loved about the game, and occasionally would get very secondhand invested. So with her gone, I missed that.

Hence- this playthrough with my mom!

When I tell you how much this has meant to me-

First of all, she’s remembered the names / controls (she doesn’t usually play games like this in her free time, and aside from us watching Spy x Family together she doesn’t engage with anime or anything like that) and yesterday we played for a few hours- so I like to imagine she’s genuinely interested.

It’s also been nice to see how much I’ve progressed with my mental health. Even just last year, I would get so embarrassed to share anything I liked with anybody (to be fair, some reasons were not related to my mental health, but still). But now I’m doing the voices while I read out the lines (it’s part of the experience. I’m simply honoring my sister’s traditions) and having fun with it.

This would be so inconceivable for me not that long ago… So personal progress! That’s a big deal! (For context I have diagnosed OCD / Major Depressive Disorder, suspected anxiety disorder / ADHD, and multiple siblings with ASD and plenty of suspicious that I’ve got that as well. And don’t worry about the MDD thing, that’s something that actually hasn’t been an issue recently! Turns out things do get better?? Wha-wha-WHAT?! But yeah, these sorts of things cause a lot of trouble for me socially, which sucks, but AGAIN! PROGRESS!!! Heck, someone told me to off myself earlier this year- as many of you know- and I was…fine! Sorry for the tangent…I’m proud, and that message always makes me giggle to think about).

More importantly though it’s meant a lot to me just from a love-language sorta standpoint. The fact that she’s willing to play through this game that isn’t really her normal cup of tea with me, just because she knows I like it. (Let’s add in the fact, too, that she consistently communicated with my sister to figure out what sorta Danganronpa stuff to get me for Christmas).

I dunno! Such a random post, I know, but it’s meant a lot to me, and it’s been fun!

Just wanted to share. It makes me happy :)

[ilu-icey]

Fire Emblem Engage Cross-Swap AU

Omigosh, it's happening.

So, Cross-Swap. Also known as "we swapped Firene and Elusia, and Brodia and Solm, among other things".

Let's start with the introductions: the Royals! Here they are all together:

(order: same as intro song, so Firene - Brodia - Solm - Elusia)

And now, for more individual details under the cut:

Ivy: "Calming Rose"

A reserved, soft-spoken princess of Firene than can often be found in the gardens, a cup of tea in one hand and a novel in the other. Losing her mother the day that her sister was born left her battling anxiety and the fear of abandonment for a large portion of her childhood. However, through trips to visit the sleeping Divine Dragon in Lythos, she could find solace in a friend that would listen to her fears, never judge her, and remain ever by her side. While still plagued by ghosts of the past, time and therapy have allowed her to tame some of her fears, and she endeavors to grow into the image of the unshakeable, ever-benevolent ruler that her people see in her.

As for her retainers, I imagine Zelkov could have been an assassin before going into medicine (friendly reminder that we have Jean in base game from Firene), and Kagetsu... honestly it's still in development, but he could come from the islands where the Divine Paralogues happen.

Hortensia: "Budding Charm"

The second princess of Firene, and while cheerful and sociable at times, she can also appear oddly demure and analytical depending on the situation. While she never had the chance to know her mother personally, many people take every chance to remind her just how much she resembles her. Even with her father stepping up to fight constant battles of comparisons throughout her life, she still finds herself torn between her enjoyment of cute and artsy things and her desire to be recognized as her own person, and struggles with self-acceptance and finding who she is or should be. Dislikes conflicts and arguments, and always doing her best to encourage others to pursue their passions and cheer them up like she tried to do for her sister for so many years.

Goldmary is going to have a FIELD DAY in Firene (she loves chores, for context). Probably Rosado as well (all those beautiful flowers to paint...) Now as for how they met... to be determined.

Timerra: "Humbling Force"

The crown princess of the Queendom of Bordia and an advocate for diplomacy and change in a stubborn, unchanging country. Used to skip training when she was young to roam the streets and look for people to help, only to be faced with closed doors and a home that consistently found her to be too weak for their liking. Though naturally very strong, she cannot escape the impression left by her "irresponsibility", and remains in the constant loop of trying to prove herself and still never being enough for the court. Hardened and unerringly dutiful on the surface, but she still adores singing, shopping, and exploring the mountainscape on horseback, sometimes sneaking out on fishing and camping trips with her brother and proceeding to scare away the fish with their constant laughter.

Merrin could be a noble who got her way into knighthood by escaping her duties and meeting Timerra one day. Panette definitely won the tournament to become her retainer. She did so by busting her way out of the streets despite her... parents... for her and her brother's sake.

Fogado: "Magnetic Militant"

The silver tongued, strategic minded prince of Brodia that believes in his sister's ideals more than anyone. Through constant, covert endeavors to train his body, sharpen his tongue, and support his sister, the court was often pleased by his prowess and began to favor him over his sister and flooded the two with constant comparisons. And now, caught between trying to shake off their disappointment in her and keep his hold on the court, he feels lost and can't find where to turn, though getting him to drop his act and admit it is a game all on its own. Still, their bond remains unbreakable, if not growing stronger, with both knowing just how hard the other works and laughing off as much of their troubles as they can manage.

Bunet became a retainer in the same tournament as Panette (yes, he lost against her), as the Sibbies are extremely close age-wise. Perhaps as a way to help his family after his village was raided by bandits? Would make a nice parallel to Saphir. Pandreo was found and got out of his terrible situation via Panette and the Sibbies. He's grateful for all of them, while his horrendous strength is not helping him in the court.

Alfred: "Snowy Hope"

Elusia's bubbly and ever-optimistic crown prince, and the kingdom's beloved "beacon of light". Chronic illness forced him to spend most of his childhood indoors and away from the harsh weather of the land, leaving him with a weak constitution, but ample time to study and perfect his magic. With his sister's research, a magical "medicine" could be used to improve his quality of life, but never quite curing his illness. Because of this, his family still proposes the Fell Dragon's "miracle" to permanently extend his life, and pushing against this, he chooses to secretly worship the Divine and make the most of the life he has. Dedicated to his country and pure of heart to a fault, one may consistently find him soaring the skies on his pegasus, visiting his people, captivating children with his magic tricks, and rescuing any and all who need help despite the toll it takes on him.

He'd be a Pegasus Mage Knight of sorts, being able to use Lances, Tomes, and Staves upon promotion. Glass Cannon type, keep him far away from archers.

Etie could be a member of the Elusian court! Appointed to Alfred instead of Céline like in base game, but now she can throw hands. And break archers for her liege's sake while at it. Boucheron... perhaps there could be something like the Village of the Fair Folk, but for hunky people? Either way, snow and forests are not helping if his sense of direction is still horrendous.

Céline: "Icy Guardian"

Described by others as calculating and almost cruel, but rather sentimental and compassionate underneath her icey façade. Though only the half-sister to the crown prince, she lives with the expectation of taking the throne for herself one day and does everything in her power to see that it will never happen. Balancing political ambition, magical research, and physical training with her wyvern has left her with many sleepless nights and contending with far more nightmares. Though she fears the potential outcomes of war, and perhaps developed a slight vendetta against archers, she believes that the Fell Dragon can help her land and family where the Divine could not. Enjoys art and painting, capturing the fleeting moments of the world's beauty and the memories of her brother and friends before they might dull and fade.

I imagine she could work well in a similar class from Zelestia, as in a wyvern rider with access to Swords and Tomes.

Don't have much on Chloé and Louis, while they could have met at the Academy like Hortensia with Rosado and Goldmary in base game. Mintavia and I joked that Chloé is responsible for 99% of the trinkets in Alfred's hidden Divine shrine. She just picked stuff she found interesting during her flights with the siblings, and he gladly took them.

Diamant: "Sand's Scion"

Solm's steadfast and amicable crown prince and regarded by his people as practically perfect. Incredibly versed in negotiating and diplomacy, which may or may not stem from growing up too quickly and being forced to calm a few heated arguments between his father and the neighboring king of Firene. Though he adores traveling and the stories and banter with his friends that come with it, his father's impulsive travels to fix their bandit issues have left him as the main person to take care of politics and the "King of Solm'' in every way except in title. Still, when he is able to leave, folks say that his laughter can be heard from all across the desert, described by some as the "Racket of Solm".

He met Jade in one of his rare travels, then Amber in another. Jade is still mostly a writer, but also a keeper of precious things (she has been tasked with safekeeping the Emblem Ring once or twice). Amber loves camels now. He's still as interested in legends, and as clumsy and able to get into trouble as ever, though.

Alcryst: "Desert Shade"

A perceptive, unbelievably friendly young man that, while highly regarded, often has to hide his identity as the second prince of Solm. A comforting presence in the harsh desert, he's always willing to lend an ear to other's issues, but attempting to do the same for him and his own feelings will leave one entirely empty-handed. However, any bandit that has had the misfortune of crossing his path can attest to how quickly that friendly face can drop when danger threatens those around him, especially his family. Constantly roaming the desert with his retainers to both lend a hand to those in need and gathering valuable intel about the entire continent, keeping his homeland safe and preventing threats from setting foot inside their borders. And with his reports come many, many stories and a solid excuse to return home every once in a while and visit with his brother.

Bow Wolf Knight? Bow Wolf Knight. With Daggers, of course.

Citrinne is still his cousin, and nothing in the world could separate them. She doubles as his confidant, and is the most attuned to how he really is under the surface. Lapis was met after a bandit raid on a village near her home, as she helped with the reconstruction efforts with her strength and ability to make stuff out of scraps. Perhaps one day she will discover more about her liege.

Naturally, more could come as Mint, Luna and I decide on the classes of the Royals that still need to be determined, get more details on the retainers that still need exploring, and as we explore another important swap in the AU. Stay tuned!

[theangryjikooker]

Hi, I've come across your blog recently and I must tell you that I love it since you're one of the few sane people in this fandom who appreciates the bond between the boys without overanalyzing often baseless and delusional theories.

Although I love their bond and think there is dating potential there, I'm also leaning towards the opinion that Jikook may be single nowadays. However, I'm also leaning towards the opinion that they MAY have had something in the past, possibly something casual like occasional hookups since I believe (sexual) attraction between the two does exist (emphasis on may since this is an assumption like everything else as we have a glimpse into the 1/1000 of their private lives), and this is based solely on two incidents - the hickey and the Rose Bowl one. The Rose Bowl one I can overlook, but the hickey one is difficult for me to put within the scope of pure friendship (especially when it comes to their/other memebers' reactions in the clip to the entire thing).

So my question is - how do you perceive these two events (and I'm sure you've already got this question, but as I'd already said, I've only come across your blog recently). :)

Have a great day!

Me: I’m going to take a break and stay on Twitter.

Also Me: No.

Listen, I can’t make up my mind. I like the idea of being able to say things that would have me nailed to a cross “out loud” without being burdened by other people’s sensitivities and not having to explain myself either, but now I have (5) social media accounts, and I am overwhelmed. I don’t want to talk about it lol. I’ll approve a few people eventually, but the less eyes the better.

Anyway, neither here nor there.

Hey, anon—thanks!

I don’t agree with you on whether they were once dating or fooling around, but it’s well-known here that I’ve never thought that at all. You do you; many others would agree with you, too.

My opinion on Rose Bowl and the “hickey” is that they could be looked at in two different ways. I really don’t care for what most Jkkrs think about them, but really the bottom line is that even if those two events were taken at face value and nothing deeper, it’s unique behavior either way.

Outliers exist in every aspect of life. There are generalizations that apply to a population, culture, generation, gender, sexuality, personality types, etc., but those generalizations will never apply to every single person. And it’s especially so in human behavior and social interaction.

Just because you or “most people” wouldn’t do [action] with a friend doesn’t mean that those people don’t exist. And sure, it would absolutely make sense that this generalization might apply to Jungkook and Jimin when they do something out of pocket, but they’re not only not the average Joes with a normal upbringing, the biggest factor is that RPS is inherently unusual, unsolicited, and toeing the line of disrespect. It’s why RPS is widely frowned upon. It comes with the territory of being in the public eye, but that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable or encouraged by those being shipped.

It’s the fact that they are real people, who never asked to be shipped in that way, that explains why I will never assume that anything they do or say means anything deeper than how it looks on the surface—or if, in the case of the “hickey,” Jimin says he was getting dizzy and bit Jungkook as retribution, then that’s really all it was (also, I can believe that, but I have an anecdotal experience that allows me to accept it as is).

The only time I’ll ever entertain narratives is if there’s legitimately no context for it or there’s a dissonance between the context and what’s actually happening; for example, the Feb 2021 live where Jungkook continues staring at Jimin long after he’s done talking or doing anything interesting. Yes, I’ll say that it’s a little suspect and explain why, but that’s generally as far as I’ll take it (and I think I’ve even tried to play devil’s advocate with it too, but it’s a little weak). But as I say all the time, these moments are incredibly few and far between.

In the case of Rose Bowl, Jimin was very obviously emotional and Jungkook was comforting him. I personally wouldn’t suck my friend’s ear, but as I had passively mentioned in a really old post, I watched this compilation of idols doing the same thing to one another, and I remember thinking at the time that the ear fixation among idols was baffling. I tried to find it again, but it doesn’t seem to exist anymore (it was a much older video that I found ~2 years ago). After seeing that, I was more convinced that Rose Bowl could’ve easily been a comfort thing—weird, but comforting.

I’ve had time to ruminate over it, and I can also see how that action might actually be grounding to someone.

Regarding these two events, I can understand why shippers would think they could indicate something deeper between Jikook. Where I start to have a problem is when shippers abuse their platform and start talking so assuredly for Jungkook and Jimin. Shippers are not omniscient, but they pretend to be and they talk like they are, and those are the ones I don’t respect at all.

Mind you, I’m not stopping anyone else from flouting those boundaries if that’s how you have your fun, but I won’t have anything nice to say about people who do this, and that’s just my opinion.

Anyway, thanks for the ask. This was longer than intended, but I am tagging this post for future reference so I never have to talk about it ever again. ✌🏻

[avocadoguru]

Oh my god! This chapter! Did anybody pick up on how JEALOUS y/n got over all the moms and babysitters ogling at her man!? Harry is seriously waking up those mate tendencies in her, she even said it herself, she’s not one to fret over those types of feelings with her past lovers. I know others anon(s) had been giving you both a hard time about y/n possibly being supernatural, but tbh I love that the only supernatural being in this fic is Harry. It gives it a whole new element/tension, and sets it apart from all the other a/o/b fics. I’m very interested in seeing how their relationship and dynamic will be like from here on out. We already got an inside glimpse of how Harry feels about being who he is and how, in a way, for the first time ever, he might actually feel insecure about himself for not being fully human for her. And im sure when y/n eventually discovers the truth about Harry, she’ll also experience feeling inadequate for not being able to give Harry pups or go all out for him during his rut. Also their mannerisms are going to be interesting to see play out. Harry is obviously used to others in his pack obeying him because he’s an Alpha, he just has to grunt a certain way and they will bow their heads in fear/respect for him. He’s used to control and being listened to, while y/n is human, she’s not going to understand what certain grunts or when his eyes change color mean at times, though she might use context clues to get an idea that he maybe trying to exert his authority over her. But she’s still going to do what she feels is right or natural to her, plus I imagine with her military background and being a ranger, my girl is an independent woman! She knows she strong an capable too. They very much give off Bell and Beast vibes, in their personalities, Eddie is chip btw 😍. So please don’t let anyone discourage or change what you two already had in mind for this fic. I’m glad she’s human and will stay human. They’re so many other fics that have y/n being human but turns into a wolf after Harry bite her, or she was a beta with a dormant omega gene, or she’s an omega that doesn’t shift, etc… and all of those are great too but this is new and different and I’m very much interested in seeing it all play out. You two are such great writers! X

(@fkinavocado here) YES, he is absolutely awakening mate tendencies in her!! and OMGGGG THANK YOU!!!!! cuz honestly that's what we think as well! it's smth unlike what either of us has read before, and we thought it'd be an interesting spin off if y/n was 100% human.

i absolutely love what you touched on there! like YES i'm so glad someone picked up on this!!! harry is so used to everyone obeying him without him even having to say what he wants- just a grunt or a certain look and his kind would know to obey, but y/n not only does not know how to pick up on these queues- but she wouldn't! she's very independent, like you mentioned. she wouldn't just obey his every whim no questions asked. the fact that he can dominate her in his human form is quite telling of their bond. she wouldn't get so floaty and give in to his pleas like that if there wasn't a genuine connection there! but she does stand up to him, she talks back, she is quite sassy- and he loves it. loves how she challenges him. just imagine he'd never once had anyone dare defy him the way she does. he's so gone for her 😅

eddie is chip 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

thank you so so much for this lovely!!!! we enjoyed your feedback immensely ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[ask-koopasbagatelle]

Cats. Seemingly aggresive but misunderstood, hiding, but when you actually respect them they'll be all over you. Also he likes anchoovies (istg i saw this on some comic book stripe and not pulling info out of my a-)

Good quills (he tends to break then when he's angry), something handmade, maybe some fancy coffee. He doesn't strike me as a gift receiving type because both s/i and f/o are royalty. He'd be happier with experiences than stuff he can just buy.

Stargazing. Nestling into his chest and listening to his heartbeat as the Skyland's stars surround us both.

He'd never complain, he's a hard worker. But he physically winces each time he turns the vacuum on.

Depends on the amount of sleep and caffeine he had lmao.

Toccata or 5th Symphony or really, any classical piece that would give me a near heart attack out of context

If he ever got interested in the internet he'd be a chronic twitter user, I'm afraid. He's already bickering with subordinates for the fun of it, imagine how much bullshit could he make up to watch the world burn

No. He is a romantic and stuff but he hates the concept that he never had agency over our relationship. He wants to feel it was our choice, not anybody else's

They'd be scared, for sure. I mean a humanoid meeting with their supposed enemy who is a huge koopa? As for IRL friends, I don't even want to tell them. Both in AU and IRL, I doubt there's many people who would get our bond.

My f/o carrying me in his arms, half asleep, leaning onto him like a lifeline.

enemies and lovers. We're in a politically messy situation, and need to keep up appearances

Navy blue, copper, wine red! Especially navy blue like his hair!

He'd keep things as brief as possible, but would be so awkward about it people would still be able to decipher that it's something deeper

Probably pigeons and doves. Beautiful creatures, that were abandoned for no real reason. Also because I follow him around whenever he has food/lh

He'd make sure to show his feelings, without overwhelming me. Making a day off in his job and fully focusing on me, playing the piano, getting flowers and whatever he thinks I'll need at the moment..

In public he only calls me by my name, but in private he has a whole bunch of pet names. I feel pretty timid about it too.. But trusts me, he always finds a new way to fluster me

Probably working together. He likes seeing me focused, and it makes it easier on both of us. Though we get distracted a lot..

He's persistent. It doesn't fade away after our honeymoon phase, it doesn't waver whenever we argue, When he sees I'm not feeling well and trying to hide away, he doesn't let me. He's attentive, he works on himself, and is the best anchor I couId ever imagine

My eyes. They're piercing and eerie for many, but he loves staring into them, watching the subtle changes even if I struggle with talking. Especially when I struggle with talking.

My kindness. This is something unnatural, especially to the Darklands where everyone is either mean, or pretends to be mean to not get eaten alive. He's often confused how I can be so nice to him even when he messes up, and I hope someday he'll fully be aware that all I need is him, for his personality, and not what he can(not) provide.

He'd draw with ink, and his sketch would be realistic. Probably doing it quickly when I'm not aware

no yes

White. Clouds, associating me with doves, my wings being white, porcelain, my white rabbit plushie..

F/O Ask Game!!

A list of questions to answer about your f/o!! You guys can just go down the list and answer them all (I'd love to see it!!!) in a reblog, orrr you can reblog and have others ask you these questions in your inbox! Have fun!! PR.OSHI.P, NOT FOR YOU!

What animal does your f/o remind you of?

If you got your f/o a gift, what would you get them? 

What is your favorite hobby to think about doing with your f/o?

What chores would your f/o do around the house? Are there any they REALLY dislike?

Would you trust your f/o to drive a car?

What kind of ringtone or notification sound would you have for your f/o?

Would your f/o fight someone online? 

Does your f/o believe in soulmates?

How would you introduce your f/o to your friends? How do you think that would go? 

What's the first scenario that comes to your head when you think of being with your f/o?

What dynamic would you use to describe you and your f/o? 

What color do you associate with your f/o? 

How would your f/o introduce you to those they care about? How do you think that would go?

What animal do you remind your f/o of?

What would your f/o get you for Valentine's day, if anything? 

What does your f/o call you in their head? What do they call you aloud/to others?

What does your f/o like doing with you the most? 

How does your f/o show their love best? 

What's your f/o's favorite feature of yours?

What're your f/o's favorite personality traits of yours?

If your f/o drew you, how would you describe the art piece?

Does your f/o share food with you?

What color would your f/o associate you with?

What?? Who's tagging their friends again?- not me... I just really wanna see yalls answers. Formal invitation lest you become worried I don't wanna see it. @jpeg-indulgence @starshakez @moxanji-real @frankys-wife @katsenbergs-soulmate @katanahusband @fl0ralsxgar @one-winged-dreams AND LITERALLY ANYONE WHO SEES THIS.

[danidoesathing]

I wanted to ask all of the questions in that ask game but I narrowed it down to 4…..

📃 ✨ 🎥 💢

📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc?

The plot? you mean the plots? I mean, there's the adventures of a cowboy running from the law in a fantastical world, traversing across the land and sea (and maybe into some other plain of existence?). Or could i interest you in the drug ridden journey of a young man (who might not be who he seems) searching for his missing fiancé through a neon city, but space and time begin to lose their meaning as the night goes on? or maybe the tale of a dead man rising from the grave to go on a gasoline and blood fueled quest for revenge for the murder of him and his family, collecting a group of people scorned by the world that are willing to go down in his journey to burn it all down? Or how about the tale of a television studio nestled away in the way out there, kept alive by the warmth of it's host and haunted by the ghosts of it's past performers, all slowly being left in the past as time's blur takes it all in the end? Or how about-

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

a lot of things honestly. I'm a sucker for tragedy and doomed narratives which lh lore is LITTERED with. There's so many distinct aesthetics, from strange surreal western to 50s/60s biker gangs to neon lit cities to run down dive bars full of stories, and i vibe with them SO hard. the CHARACTERS i adore the characters so much. they're so well written i love them. i love cosmic horror. i love the supernatural treated like the mundane. i love the alternate universe 60s it presents. i love it

plus like. I've been listening to the band for years now and finding out my favorite music has not just a story, but STORIES behind it was insane. they made a MOVIE DUDE!!! theres so much detail and effort put into every aspect of the lore and i love it. the music absolutely fucks too

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

like. come on. Dead Man's Hand no question. like fool for love and the world ender MVs and AFWP are up there in terms of story and general enjoyment but im sorry im a sucker for Dead Man's Hand, specifically in the movie. not only is it the strangest moment in a very strange movie, it's just. great. it's got my two favorite characters interacting and i adore buck and johnnie's insane dynamic. they're both freaks in completely opposite ways and its so funny. the dialogue is hilarious and Johnnie's actor is WAY too good at playing him. the makeup for it is really good and johnnie is. a delight to have on screen.

I love the general story of dmh in just the song alone (the story of a man finding a corpse in the middle of night, deciding to spare the time and energy to bury it and then having it wake up and ask to help out the grave. like. damn) but the movie adds so much good context. Buck almost having met the same fate and just barely escaping. the fact that johnnie actually encourages him to follow the same path despite him literally dying from it. Them being parallels to each other (reckless and stubborn young men that are the reason for their own downfall) while also being opposites in almost every other way (they lived completely opposite lives, musical styles, interests, views on the world, etc). the way they both have completely opposite views on life (A dead man in love with life and a live man in love with death). the scene still keeping that sense of wonder and fascination with each other like the song has. the weirdly casual conversation they have despite the weird circumstance. the distinct impression they've left on each other and the strange bond they develop. an encounter that is genuinely a one in a million chance – a man who can speak to the dead finding the discarded corpse of someone both just like and nothing like him in the middle of the desert in the dead of night on some random road. like god i fucking LOVE that scene its so GOOD

💢 what do you NOT like about your hyperfixation? is there something you would want to change about it?

like. i like the ambiguity of the stories a lot and i love to speculate and theorize all the time but sometimes i wish things were expanded on a bit more. just a bit. like im SO curious about the frozen pines storyline but it hasn't been touched upon in years and we dont know like. anything besides the brief story we've been given of a young girl searching for her friend. we dont know anything else and we still know NOTHING about the musician behind it H. W. Justine (did they know danielle? did they make up the story? were they the missing friend? who the hell are they?). or even worse like. i genuinely cannot tell you what has actually happened, whats a story, and whats an in-universe movie. is the vide noir movie we see a WBUB movie in the lore? or is that the actual events of what happened? is that why tnwm had the director's card with Z'Oiseau's name on it as well as Jasper's and Hontax's and the general theme of film was there? is it a story that Buck wrote up either as a movie or just another story in his head? if you can actually tell me how old Buck is that makes sense within the timeline i will give you a cookie. please god

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.

lol what

I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass

also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go

IIDA ANGST

Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida

meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”

“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still

“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT

yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue

okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol

LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL

“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then

oh, ouch

he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan

by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree

and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez

anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol

OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??

FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent

so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient

mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!

FUCK YEAH

okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?

in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no

oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!

poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol

omg. well that answers that

so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own

BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible

(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.

and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)

by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol

WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI

YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR

okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward

dskfjfkk

“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”

actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol

(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)

whoa lol wtf

MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT

-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK

“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao

and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices

poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg

“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS

FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU

THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami

okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces

um excuse me this is fucking awesome

wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk

TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY

WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE

and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji

KAMINARI OMFG

it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice

aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself

do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude

oh shit the mask!!

-- oh shit the feels

o(TヘTo)

fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...

and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance

(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.

incidentally, as @class1akids​ pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)

anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!

“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal

p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked

ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last

okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago

but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once

and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama

and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED