#but like ive been feeling super weird about myself the past months. identity wise.
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#ill tag this as#negativity#just in case. idk. its not exactly negative. its just thoughts.#but like ive been feeling super weird about myself the past months. identity wise.#w lockdowns and all. its just people im out to at home. so its like safe. and apart from my mom.#the only person i hung out w this year is someone im out to. so it all felt rather safe and nice yk.z#but i still feel odd when i hear people use my proper name/pronouns bc. idk. w the way things went when i was younger.#it felt necessary to keep it a secret. but now not really anymore. so it feels. ugh??? yk.#i still struggle v much w coming out and shit. but also i very much feel like d*ing when people use my deadname. so.#i feel like im in some sort of weird in-between and i just dunno how to get out of it. or just dont want to. or csnt.#anyway its all weird. and i realised smth today as i was thinking. regarding my way of dealing w myself being trans.#and i should talk about it w my therapist. probably. but i suck so im not out to her haha im a major idiot.#so here i go on tumblr to pretend ive worked it out 🥴#wow this was a lot. anyway have fun people. stay safe. love you.
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