#but like how interesting is listening to the same 4 topics in one song

[something-something-peaceful]

How many posts does it take to write the entirety of a poorly translated script of Romeo and Juliet that was then put through a uwu translator all written in the tags?

[hellfirenacht]

Anomaly Part 4

Summary: You can talk to anyone in school with no problem. At least, anyone who’s not named Eddie Munson.

Tags: Anxious-ish!Reader but not shy, one sided pining, no use of y/n, fem!reader, one sided enemies to lovers, fem!reader

Word Count: 2.2k words

Master List

“The only reason she didn’t smack you was because she broke her arm.” Gareth said before downing the rest of his soda and crunching it on the table. 

“I didn’t do anything to warrant a smacking.” Eddie said, crossing his arms. This had gone on for the past few minutes, where the guys had been hounding him about being seen with you and an ex-cheerleader. “I was a gentleman and carried her books to the cafeteria.” 

“She looked terrified to be seen with you.” Gareth was reaching for one of Jeff’s tater tots and yelped as his hand was smacked away. 

“So what else is new? Everyone’s afraid of Eddie except us.” Grant shrugged which caused the rest of the table to laugh before Eddie shot them a look that made them all shut up. 

It was a blessing and a curse being the Freak of Hawkins High. Eddie knew that most people were afraid of him here, and that’s what he liked. Having people scared of him, or at least apprehensive of him, made it easier to keep an eye on his club. People moved out of the way when he moved through the hallways now, unlike his first four years of high school when he was pushed around. 

Maybe it was because after that first senior year, Eddie had hit another growth spurt and looked more adult than most of the students. Wayne had once made a dry joke that if he cut his hair and wore a nice shirt for once he’d be mistaken for a teacher. Eddie had taken that personally and had spent his last few dollars on a metal WASP pin that weekend. 

Eddie knew he looked dangerous to the average student, and a criminal to the average teacher. When Eddie looked in the mirror, he just saw himself. 

“Did she say why she saved your ass from being expelled?” Dustin piped in, stealing one of Gareth’s tater tots while he was still trying to take Jeff’s. 

“No, but she said she fell to distract everyone over the fact that Miles shit himself during the pep rally.” Eddie deadpanned. 

“That’s the closest you’ll ever get to talking to a cheerleader, congratulations, Eddie.” Jeff said, with a mouth full of tater tots, finding it easier to shove them all in his mouth at once rather than spend the rest of lunch fending off Gareth. 

“Ex-cheerleader.” Eddie said without thinking. He wondered if Stacy blamed him for what happened. She didn’t seem pissed at him though, then again you seemed to dislike him enough for the both of you.�� 

“Exactly.” 

Quickly losing interest in this whole topic, Eddie pulled out his cassette player, removed the batteries, gave them a good shake and put them back in before pushing play. The rest of the club went back to talking about other things. As for Eddie, he had been listening to the same damn song for a week to get the riff right. With the rest of the club growing sick of the song, it gave Eddie an excuse to bow out of the conversation for a moment. 

He glanced back over at the table you were at for just long enough to see you and Stacy having a heated debate about something. What was it that got you so passionate right now? 

You looked frustrated, but you usually did when he was around. 

The rest of the day passed by at a snail's pace, with the days getting longer outside now and with how close he was to the end of the school year it was hard to keep momentum up. Eddie had come into this school year swinging, determined to pass those last few classes and get the hell out of here. But like anything that wasn’t D&D or music, the longer things went the harder it became. 

Senioritis was already bad, but for a 3rd year in a row? This was getting ridiculous. 

He thought back to this past summer where he sucked it up and signed up for summer school. Two classes over two months to show that he could count to twenty without taking his shoes off and say that Hitler was the one who killed Hitler and that gave him two shiny credits under his belt so that this year he only had to worry about Science and the PE class he had been skipping since middle school.

As much as it sucked, it was quick and easy and Eddie really just wished that regular school was as easy as summer school was. At least in summer school he was with the rest of the burnouts and future flunkies. No one there gave two shits about popularity. 

The final bell rang and he made his way to the parking lot towards his van. If there was one thing that his dad did right by him, it was leaving Eddie his van. His band and this piece of junk was his ticket out of Hawkins as soon as he had that diploma. 

Eddie passed the buses, taking the long way around as it was a surprisingly warm day for early Spring. 

His mind was distracted, wandering to the next time Corroded Coffin would practice- he needed to tune his guitar first, and check to make sure the amp was going to live to see another show, call Ronnie and-

THUMP

“Watch it!” Eddie turned and snapped as someone shoulder checked him as they rushed to the bus behind them. It was reflex, the past two years he’d dealt with this bullshit less and less and he wasn’t about to let it go now.

Eddie stopped as he made eye contact with you. You were gripping your arm and staring him down, caught between a snarl and a deer in the headlights. He met your gaze unflinching, until you blinked first and looked away. 

“Sorry.” you said before running onto the nearest bus. 

Shit. You probably hadn’t meant to actually shoulder check him. You had apologized, albeit reluctantly. If there was one thing he could give you credit for, you never went out of your way to be outright cruel to him. You just... didn’t like him. He could live with that for the next few months. 

Still, the sight of you running onto the bus stirred up the memory of the first time he remembered seeing you this past summer. You were always the first person on the bus in summer school. Guess that hadn’t changed. 

---

As long as you kept your headphones on and had a window seat, the bus wasn’t the worst thing in the world. You missed the freedom of being able to drive to and from school, stopping at gas stations for snacks or going to downtown Hawkins just to loiter around the shops. 

The first day on the bus was as peaceful as one could hope. Your personal mixtape was buzzing in your ear, you stared out the window as your peers were dropped off groups at a time at different stops. Some had parents waiting for them, some didn’t. You knew yours wouldn’t be. As soon as you hit freshman year, they swapped to the night shift deeming you old enough to take care of your own dinner, on your second round of summer school you saw them even less. 

Eddie was also held back, that wasn’t exactly a secret in the school and he could hardly pass as a pimple ridden teen anyway. That was also one of the reasons you seemed to gravitate to him. But while everyone knew about Eddie’s schooling history, having come to Hawkins late in your high school career, it allowed you a bit of extra discretion. Stacy was the only one who knew this was your second round of senior year. 

Your arm throbbed under your cast on the way home today, your face burning from embarrassment that you had almost had a nice conversation with Eddie earlier, but now he thought you shoulder checked him. You thunked your forehead against the window with a sigh. 

Eddie didn’t talk to you until the following Wednesday when the two of you were cornered by your teacher after the bell rang. You could see the look in Ms. Benson’s eyes what she wanted to talk about, but why was Eddie involved?

Ms. Benson handed Eddie his last paper, a C- scribbled at the top. Passing, but barely. Salt in the wound to you, and you looked down at your cast, picking at it. 

“You’re phoning it in, Mr. Munson.” she said. “I know that you don’t need this class to finally graduate but I don’t like mediocre work.”

You didn’t like that he was getting lectured when you were right there. Where was the decorum? The dignity? You wanted to crawl into the linoleum. 

Ms. Benson turned to you before Eddie could say anything. “You didn’t turn your paper in.” she said blatantly. She might as well have turned to Eddie and told him directly that you were a lazy dumbass. 

“I broke my wrist.” you said, more to the signature of Allie from gym class than to your teacher. If you had done literally anything else in class this year, then maybe that excuse could have worked, but you hadn’t and it didn’t. 

Ms. Benson took a look at you both and let out a long sigh. “I’m giving you both a chance to fix this.” she said. “I’m willing to offer you both extra credit to give you either a bonus on your final papers or replace a missing one.”

It was a good deal, a very very generous offer. Too generous-

“And what’s the catch, Ms, B?” Eddie asked skeptically. 

“I need volunteers for Spring Day.” she said. “You help with that, and I’ll give you the extra credit.” 

Spring Day was basically a free day where kids could either skip school or come for a slack off day. There were games, events happening at the gym, fields, and library, catered lunches, and plenty of ways to sneak off. 

“Sorry, no can do.” Eddie said. “I was banned from Spring Day. I have a hot date with in school suspension and you know how Higgins hates it when I cancel on him like that.” 

“I already cleared it with him.” Ms. Benson said, shocking Eddie. “As long as you stay away from the balloon pop booth.”

You saw Eddie smirk out of the corner of your eye. “I was framed, I swear.” 

“Of course you were.” She said dismissively. “So,I expect both of you to show up after school on Mondays and Wednesdays to meet me to help set this up. We only have a few weeks, and the budget is tight.”

Well, there was clearly no choice now. Just like that, you were now being volun-told to help with the one day a year you didn’t feel guilty about doing jack shit. 

“...Go away now.” Ms. Benson said, and you and Eddie didn’t need to be told twice. You turned tail and damn near ran out of the room. 

You were at your locked, struggling with the damn lock when you heard a voice next to you. “Do you think humiliation was also part of the extra credit, or are we just lucky?” 

Eddie had followed you to your locker, he was the last person you wanted to see after that. “I guess.” you mumbled, awkwardly shoving books in as you grabbed your lunch. 

You could handle feeling judged by teachers and your fellow students. That was the norm since you were a kid. God, Eddie was on his sixth year! Why did you care what he thought about you? Wouldn’t he understand better than anyone at this school what you were dealing with? 

You closed the locker harder than you meant to and Eddie winced. Shit. You had to say something to ease the tension. 

“...What did you do to the water balloons?” You asked, looking at him. Eddie smiled wide at you. 

“Allegedly I added some fun food coloring to the water.” he shrugged. “I didn’t think this school hated red and black so much.” 

You cracked a smile despite yourself. “It’s not exactly school colors.” 

“It’s not.” Eddie agreed, messing with one of his rings. His eyes darted past you, and you looked over to see Stacy walking over. 

“Eddie.” she nodded with a pleasant smile. Maybe too pleasant? No, that’s weird to think about your best friend. 

“Stacy.” Eddie nodded back. 

You had a weird feeling that there was a conversation going on, that you were in the middle of. You tried to shake off the thought, Stacy knew everyone. Stacy had a way of making everyone feel important, plus she was super pretty. You couldn’t blame Eddie for looking at her, and you tried to squash that glob of jealousy. Stacy was your best friend, she wouldn’t make a move on the guy you’ve been pining over. 

Stacy turned to you. “We’re sitting outside today with Nancy. She wants to interview me for the school paper.” 

“Wheeler?” you asked. “Uh, sure.” Stacy had so many damn accolades you didn’t bother asking which one she was being interviewed for. You’d read about it later. “Uh, see you on Wednesday, I guess, Eddie.”

“Yeah, see ya.” Eddie agreed as Stacy lead you away. 

“Wednesday?” she whispered with a glint in her eyes. “The second we turn the corner you’re talking.”

----

2 posts in one day?! Yeah lol. This fic is pure stream of consciousness so even I barely know what's happening. I have a vague idea of story beats bot otherwise this fic is always hot off the press lol.

Tag List:  @eddiemunsonfuxks @kirsteng42 @strangereads @pedroschka @generoustrashpeach

@sheneedsrocknroll92 @cyanfairywren @crocworkships @tomtomslongdong @aphrogeneias

@ghcstpyre @totheforestandtheocean @stevekeeryswife @dreamyyy222222 @ajnerdess

@sp1dyb0y1008 @projectcampbell @emxxblog @thebadbatchfan

@transparentenemypenguin @ghoulsgraveyard @spread-the-hope @exploding-bonbon @paleidiot

@2spock @c14r3v1b3srs @yujyujj @saramelaniemoon @morganlolitta

@veemoon @mrsrdlw @eddieheart @bambibiest @mylovelycrazyworld

@sassidykassidy @cultish-corner @thedoubleexposurephotography @bambibiest @wheels-of-despair

@amieinghigh

[alextydaisuda123]

Pepperman PT + MLP Creepypasta [WARNING!: Lots of text] Let's admit honestly that MLP Creepypasta has already become a separate fandom, existing separately from MLP itself, whose stories are one better than the other. I've had an image of Pepperman in the role of "Lil Miss Rarity" in my head for a long time. Why her? Well, explanations in the studio! 👏 1. There is something in common between the characters of both, and both are creative natures and love themselves; 2. Both have cats (this is not a reason, but just a fact); 3. I can imagine Pepperman as the same sado-masochist, but in his "role"; 4. Let's admit that Pepperman can be a "Daddy" too 🌚✨️ 5. Lil Miss Rarity used to be one of my favorite creepypastas (which I only knew a quarter of, it turns out, because the rest of the story was shrouded in darkness for me for many years, and... I just didn't understand the rest of the events when I learned the rest of the story, so for me only a part of it exists and that's enough for me). Well, if I explain the image, then... I took from the original Lil Miss Rarity only scars with scratches and a black eye. As for the brand, sorry, but I removed it, because there is nowhere to put it on Pepperman, but the question is, would he have made it as a "sign of devoted and mutual love of fans and himself", the answer is "yes", damn it!>:) For some reason I wanted to remove his shoes and gloves, exposing his paws and hands, replacing them with something else (I don't know what it is, like... the remains of his shoes and gloves? I have no idea how to explain this😐), like for the sake of convenience and "beauty". As for the doll, I'll go into a little more detail about it, because I slightly changed the events in the story, if Pepperman were like Rarity. I'll start with the fact that the wounds were not left by his kitten Chili (because he, logically, is a kitten, not aggressive and physically cannot scratch him), but by Noise, who ruined his paintings and statues once again. During the fight, Phil got injured and he killed Noise, and in fear and panic, in order to cover his tracks, he made a doll of Noisette because of Noise's connection with her (now Noisette's phrase: "You will always be in my heart" played with irony, lol) and placed his heart there, hid the remains (he does not remember where), and disguised the blood as paint (which he later drew with due to carelessness, but from there came the pleasure of drawing with this, and then a tendency to cruelty). Don't ask what I smoked to come up with this, I just wanted to speculate on this topic, to bring his image to at least some logic. And finally, I made the style of the drawing almost like from the comic about Lil Miss Rarity herself. I thought it was appropriate here. Yes, I didn't color Pepperman himself, he was originally in b/w, but I colored him in digital format, just to show the approximate shades of his palette as a whole. Is this necessary at all? 🤔 No, but if someone was still interested in finding out, here it is. And while I was drawing, I listened to 2 songs dedicated to this creepypasta (and I took the phrase written next to it from the song and replaced the word "mommy" with "daddy". So yes, now we have a cruel, but "loving" daddy😏.

Color version:

[blueesnow]

Mikaze Ai Voicelines Translation from Event Log

-All of this voicelines are from the Event Log (with both Mini Event and Talk section) on each of the Idol page. If you want to collect all of the other talk voicelines, you have to touch the background of the room (or rather anything other than the boys themselves) because touching them will only just trigger their skinship voicelines.

-If you ever see a blank one on the list, it's probably because I still haven't triggered and collected them or I just don't have their cards. I hope you can wait for the update until I finally collect them, or if any of you already have them it would be helpful if you could send me the SS of the missing voiceline so I could fill in the list 🙏

-Also the translations might not be fully accurate since I'm not that fluent on jp/en, so if i ever made a mistake do correct me🙏

Mini Event:

Tokiya's Birthday Celebration (Ai) Year 1: Ai: Happy Birthday, Tokiya. Although you always look serious but sometimes you also have a childish side as well, I think it's good though. Tokiya: Is that so…? But if Mikaze-san said so, then I'm sure it's a compliment, isn't it. Thank you very much. Reiji's Birthday Celebration (Ai) Year 1: Ai: Since it's your birthday, why don't you show a bit of your maturity? Anyway, congratulations Reiji. Reiji: Ai-Ai, thank you~! Don't get burned while looking at the grown-up Rei-chan, okay☆ Ah, don't ignore me!

Talk:

Talk Morning Topic: If you still haven't woke up yet, shall I be the one who manage your private time? Fufu, I'm just kidding. Talk Afternoon Topic: During the interview, they asked me on how do you approach someone that you like. Since they might be asking lots of question I went ahead and answered it but, what about you? Talk Evening Topic: Shall I go and make you a herbal tea? It smells really good and it'll help you to relax too. Talk Night Topic: Maybe I should try to practice singing a lullaby too. It'd be helpful to expand my singing range and it'd also be perfect to do it on the times when you can't fall asleep. Talk Summer Topic: I want to create a summer like memories with you…will you go with me? Of course you can leave all the planning to me.

Talk 1: I don't mind being relied on. If there's anything that you'd like to know, you can go ahead and ask me. Talk 2: Can you tell me your definition of what you think "cool?" looks like? Why you ask, I'm just a bit interested in it, that's all. Talk 3: I'm so happy to hear that everyone's listening to my song. You could say I'm also looking forward to it too. Talk 4: I think it's better to have a solid set schedule. If you move on time, there would be less waste and it'll be much more efficient. Talk 5: I guess you could say that the memories that I've accumulated during both of my private and work time are like my treasures. I cherish each and every one of them deep in my heart. Talk 6: There are still so many things that I don't know about everyone from QUARTET NIGHT. They're always full of surprises so you'll never get bored of them. Talk 7: The good thing about QUARTET NIGHT is the fact that we don't interfere with each other too much. It's so that we won't be too dependent on each other. Talk 8: To me, singing is just the same thing as being alive. It's something that's natural and essential. Talk 9: No matter what kind of performance it is, I'll always do it perfectly. Because I think that's how I show my sincerity to the people who come and watch me. Talk 10: After the recording of the show, I was given a commemorative group photo of the cast members. Seeing them somehow made me reliving those memories again, so I guess it wasn't that bad at all.

Talk 11: There was happened to be a mechanical trouble at work, but I'm relieved that I managed to help out. It's my specialty after all. Talk 12: I sometimes find a rare flower too even in the city centre. Seeing them bloom so strongly made me want to take a picture of it. Talk 13: I often get praised for being calm and reliable. I guess you could say that's one of my good points. Talk 14: While I was researching something, I happened to come across a passionate-filled review about my song. As I thought seeing that really made me happy. Talk 15: During the previous photoshoot, there was a mistake in regarding the size of Ranmaru's costume. Both the sleeves and hem of it were too short it made such an interesting sight. Talk 16: I usually spend my day off at home. Sometimes I try to make plans for a mountain climbing and it's quite fun. Talk 17: Looks like a new content has been added to the online game. I can't wait to play it soon. Talk 18: I was surprised when I saw Reiji quieter than usual on the site. It looks like he's in the middle of the game where you can't speak anything but in English. Talk 19: Observing people means that I could utilize what I have noticed from them and apply it to myself. That's why it's interesting. Talk 20: If only there could be a machine that can understand people's feelings…I'm sure people can't help but had thoughts of that before. Besides it would be much more efficient if there were.

Talk 21: Even during break time, I never forget to go collecting and analyzing data. There might be a chance when I can use it on my next job after all. Talk 22: Live performance is the place where I realize just how much I want to be liked by everyone. That's why I don't want to make even the slightest mistake. Talk 23: According to the data that I have, there's a high possibility that I'll be able to meet you again tomorrow. Is it okay for me to have expectation? Talk 24: A new week is about to begin. Let's make sure to plan things out properly and carefully. You can do it, can't you? I believe in you. Talk 25: I guess the bags that I own are mostly backpacks. They're easy to carry heavy things around and, more than anything, they're convenient because they keep both of my hands free. Talk 26: There's something that I want to confirm with you… Hm? Normally you'd always respond right away… How unusual. (when you ignore him) Talk 27: Hmm, now I'm more than curious to try and check just how far along you'd notice. Let's poke her around a little bit more. (when you ignore him) Talk 28: Hm, are you already done with your work now? Since you're so concentrated on it… No, it's not like I'm sulking or anything. (after you're done ignoring him) Talk 29: …I guess you finally noticed after how many long I've been staring at you huh. Looks like I manage to collect an interesting data. (after you're done ignoring him)

About Otoya: Otoya's not afraid of anything at all huh. I often saw him approaching his co-stars and talking to them. About Masato: Masato's sewing skills are amazing. It feels as if he can make everything. Maybe I should try to make something with my own hands too. About Natsuki: I always tell Natsuki each time I found something that he might likes. Like a cute goods or something. About Tokiya: Having a discussion with Tokiya is interesting. Since he's so knowledgeable, we can talk about lot of things from many different angles. About Ren: Ren also plays an online game, and I think our tastes are pretty similar. Though we both have a different playstyle. About Syo: When I go shopping with Syo, he tends to recommend me things that I'd never choose myself. But after that they ended up suits me well. About Cecil: Although Cecil is usually calm, he often panics in front of a fish. He's honest even when it comes to things he's not good at. About Reiji: Whenever there is a trouble happening, Reiji always rephrases it around in an optimistic way. In a way that part of him always help us out. About Ranmaru: He always try to repay anything that he borrowed, no matter how small it is. Ranmaru's sense of duty is one of his good points. About Camus: Out of all the members of the group, Camus is probably the one that I get along well with. He's a very well-informed person and that's why he's interesting.

Skinship 1: It's not that I hate it but… did you forgot that I'm supposed to be your Senpai? (touching head) Skinship 2: Shall I pat your head as well? You don't mind if I do it two times more than you did, right? (touching head) Skinship 3: Wait… what's wrong all of a sudden? Skinship 4: What kind of psychology is it behind poking my cheek? Skinship 5: That's quite a strange hobby you have. Are you the type who's more interested in upper arms? (touching arms) Skinship 6: I'm your Senpai after all, so you can always rely on me. Skinship 7: Hey… I'd be in a trouble if you did something irregular out of sudden. Skinship 8: Even if you didn't do that, I'd still listen to your story. Skinship 9: My opinions? Not in particular. Skinship 10: Next time it's your turn to get tickled. I'd like to collect a data for that. Skinship 11: Well then, I'm going to have to pay that back more or less the same amount of times than what you did to me.

Approach 1: As much as I'm having fun watching you, it seems like the data that I have is not enough. You'll surely help me out, won't you? Approach 2: I wonder why did you become so red like that just because I got closer to you, hm? I hope you can tell me the reason of it. Intimacy lvl-up 1: I don't mind spending time with you. It also feels like I gained new emotions from that too. Intimacy lvl-up 2: Huh, I didn't know you could make that kind of face too. Of course that only happens when you're with me, right? Intimacy Limit Release: I received your feelings. (Your) Birthday Celebration 1: Ai: You seem to be in a pretty good mood today. Somehow your face seems like you're waiting for me to say something to you. Ai: …Just kdding, there's no way I would forget about it. Happy birthday. I've been meaning to tell you that. Ai: I want to spend time with you for as long as I can for today. This is also one of your Senpai's order, I won't ever let you say no, okay?

This one is not listed, but here's a voiceline if you're trying to leave him:

Are you going somewhere now? I just need a few more minutes of your time. Can't I?

Bonus Voicelines from URs/SRs:

"Letter of Journey" Mikaze Ai Talk 1: There are so many things that I want to tell and show you. I want to walk through the same time as you. "Letter of Journey" Mikaze Ai Talk 2: The music that you gave always taught me of something that's important and dear to me. I'll never forget to always give out my thanks to you. "Be Elegant!" Mikaze Ai Talk 1: I'm happy to hear you talk about the thoughts that you put into that song. I'm also the first one who heard about it too, right. "Be Stylish!" Mikaze Ai Talk 1: Both of your reactions and mine were a little different than what I had expected. But somehow it left such a pleasant feeling in my heart. "Lavender king" Mikaze Ai Talk 1: Fighting for the sake of peace, huh. I wonder if Ai also had someone important that he wanted to protect as well. Just like how you are to me, for example.

[lilithslittleworld]

Formal Crushing

A/N: Felt in a cutesy mood and what better than to write a Seth fluff oneshot? :-) Just a heads up, I'm writing Seth a little ambiguously here, as in, trying to make his age adaptable (staying within the 16-19 age range tho)

I'm also going to add a little music recommendation list for reading this oneshot (aka what I listened to while writing it!)

I did do my research on the Makah Tribe and Reservation for Violet's identity and culture. However, if there are any mistakes, for either Native identity and/or tribe, I deeply apologize for them now. I wanted to be as informed and respectful as possible while writing the Native elements of their relationships.

Summary: Violet and Seth go to the same high school on the rez and the school dance is coming up. There's no way he'll ask her though, right?

CW: Seth Clearwater x Fem Reader (Violet), ONLY FLUFF.

Music list for this oneshot: (4-7 are for the dance)

Sweet by CAS

Love Songs on the Radio by Mojave 3

Say Yes to Heaven by Lana del Rey

Words by F. R. David

Material Girl by Madonna

Yeah by Usher

Stop the Music by Rihanna

Put Your Head On My Shoulder by Paul Anka* slow-dance scene

It wasn't totally unrealistic of you to hold onto the hope of Seth asking you out. But the weeks had started to fly by this second semester and you had not gotten more than his usual friendly smile or conversation, not that you were complaining. Ever since your family had moved down to Forks that Fall, your eyes had been on Seth Clearwater and his on you. Kind of.

Moving down to a different reservation, with a different tribe around had been an interesting experience. Though the Makah tribe, like the Quileute, were both native to Washington, your presence didn't always feel welcomed by others. Leah, Seth's older sister, had made that clear through her debilitating glares she shot at you as she waited for her brother. Seth hadn't ever noticed, really, as his gaze was always on you. But then again, that didn't mean anything.

Seth, though, was curious about your tribe and liked to find the similarities between the both of you. His eyes lit up eagerly as you shared more about yourself and your own little world, it was hard not to smile back. Your school days ended with two back-to-back classes with him, to which he walked alongside you, opening every door that came your way and carrying your books. It always crushed you a little, to have to say goodbye to Seth, knowing very well you'd see him again the next day. But there was something about him that made you want to spend all of your time talking to him.

Some nights, as you lay in your bed, you'd imagine staying up late into the night with Seth beside you, debating and exploring every fascinating topic that crossed your minds. You knew his family liked telling campfire stories under the stars like your own did back in Neah Bay. The image of Seth listening attentively as his elders told and retold the stories of his tribe made you smile. He seemed like the perfect person to go star gazing, as well, but you could never see that actually happening.

Late into your first January at Forks, the knowledge of the upcoming formal was all anyone talked about. Though it was still a week away, you had hoped to hear of an invitation from Seth. As usual, Seth was waiting for you outside of your calculus class. He always made an effort to coax a smile out of you, knowing how much you hated that class. It always worked.

"Hey, Vi," he smiled at you, "What's the one thing a vampire never, and I mean ever, order at a restaurant?"

His enthusiasm was infectious and you couldn't help but giggle at the corniness of his joke. You had heard rumors about a Quileute rival being cold-ones, you'd even heard Jacob Black and other friends of Seth mention them but you weren't that superstitious to believe them.

"A Bloody Mary?" you replied, sure of your answer when you saw Seth's brow furrow slightly.

"Man, that's an even better answer than the one I read," he sighed, pushing open the door towards the stairwell, waiting, as usually, for you to pass first.

You laughed at his bewildered state. "You're telling me that wasn't the answer?"

"It was a 'stake sandwich'", he responded sheepishly, holding the door for you once again.

"Still one of your best jokes, Clearwater," you responded, shaking your head in exaggerated mock appreciation.

"Pfff, you flatter me," he joked, taking a seat in the first row of seats, always leaving the one next to him for you. Both of your days ended with English, something both of you liked. Unlike the others from his friend group, or 'pack' as he called them, Seth enjoyed reading, something else you both had in common. You liked to watch him take notes, picking up on the neatness of his handwriting, the way his tongue stuck out in concentration, and how he never hesitated to ask the questions that everyone else had too.

The class ended quicker than you expected, fifty minutes isn't a long time when you're having fun, or at least not bored to death. As everyone scurried to gather their things, Seth simply got up, grabbed both of your notebooks and flashed you a smile as you got up to walk next to him. The walk to the parking lot was much more silent than your typical ones, making you uneasy but Seth didn't seem off.

Seth was quiet until you two were outside the building, lost in thought from what it appeared. You could see Leah in the distance, standing next to her truck, waiting for Seth. Her glare pierced into you, sending a shiver down your spine and indicating that it was time for you to part ways.

Seth looked down at you, smiling at you thoughtfully. "See you tomorrow, Vi?" he mused, reaching out to lightly brush your arm.

You sighed, expecting a different goodbye. "Yeah, see you," you mumbled, taking your notebooks from Seth's extended hands. You spun around, in direction to your own truck, the one Billy Black had had Jacob fix for you. Slamming its doors as you got in didn't change anything but it made you feel a little bit better. Was Seth never going to make a move? It was the twenty-first century so asking him out wasn't off the table but it wasn't what you wanted. The last thing you wanted was to force something but it was beginning to drive you crazy not knowing if the time you shared together meant something or not.

The next morning, you were surprised to find that Seth wasn't waiting for you outside your locker as he usually did. He never got sick so that wasn't a logical explanation, and neither did Leah, who was present today. You pursed your lips, flipping back your long, black hair as you brushed past her. Had she gotten to her brother, driving a wedge between the two of you?

Your stomach turned as you saw that Seth wasn't waiting for you outside of calculus either. You rolled your eyes at the tears that were beginning to pool, refusing to let them fall. It was quite silly of you to feel this way, you and Seth were simply friends, regardless of how you felt about him. You were surprised at yourself, almost angry, at your internal emotional outburst for this single absence of his. Maybe you wouldn't feel this way if his sister didn't hide the fact that she hated you, or if maybe Seth had tried to hold your hand. Or if he had even mentioned the formal.

Once English finished, you gratefully leaped out of your seat, making a point to rush out of that dreadful building. Your eyes scanned the parking lot, just in case you saw someone from Seth's 'pack'. Your eyes landed on the Clearwater's truck, fully expecting to see a spiteful Leah looking your way. Instead, Seth stood by his sister's truck, holding a bouquet and fidgeting visibly. A slight smile crept up on your lips as you made your way towards him.

Seth's eyes lit up, the way they always did, as he saw you amidst the crowd of teenagers scurrying to their cars. "Vi," he sighed in relief.

"Hey, you," you smiled at the sound of your name.

"These are violets er- the color is violet. the lady at the store said they're 'violas'. I thought you'd like them since you both share a name," he confessed, running his free hand through his hair nervously.

You took the flowers in your hands, smelling them softly before taking in their beauty. Your had heart fluttered when he had said that, knowing you were named after the flowers.

"They're beautiful," you murmured, looking back up at him in gratitude.

"So are you," he blushed, pulling on the hem of his shirt, nervously. Your own blush mixed with the smile that was permanently spread along your face.

"I-I was actually hoping you'd go to the formal with me. It doesn't even have to be in that way if you don't want it to be, we can go as friends. But Violet, since the first day you walked into my life, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. You're intelligent, sweet, caring, and so funny." Seth took one of your hands in his. His skin was so warm beneath yours.

"And beautiful, apparently," you reminded him, squeezing his hand as you teased him.

Seth let out a breathy laugh. "Obviously." You rolled your eyes.

"So, what do you say?"

"Of course I'll go with you, Clearwater," you grinned, "I've been waiting for a full-blown confession like that since the Fall."

Seth's smile reached his eyes, his body shaking with laughter at your little moment. "That's on me," he replied timidly, "I never wanted to make you uncomfortable or rush you in any way."

"Neither did I," you agreed. It had been worth the wait and the months of platonic friendship you two had had. All the little things Seth had done and said during this time flashed in your mind, with his words echoing behind them. He had kept a safe distance out of respect for you and the friendship you had cultivated in such a short time.

"Regardless, if you change your mind or are uncomfortable with anything please let me know," he said urgently.

"I don't think I'll be changing my mind anytime soon," you winked at him, pulling him in for one of his bearhugs. With his strong arms wrapped around you, you felt him sigh. He smelled like pine and cologne, such a calming and familiar scent. You always felt so safe in his arms but it was much nicer now that you knew how he felt.

"So," you pondered, pulling away from Seth momentarily, "What time are you picking me up at next Friday?"

Seth just smiled his wonderful smile and said, "How's six o'clock?"

---------

It was five-fifty and you were nearly ready. Your deep, purple dress' bodice hugged your body, flowing down to just above your knees. Your long, straight, black hair was down, falling upon either of your shoulders. It was five fifty-five and you were nearly ready physically. Emotionally, that was a whole other story. Your nervous energy had kept you up the night before and now the appearance of slight fear mixed in. It was just Seth but that made you feel butterflies in your stomach now.

A knock on your door broke your mental silence. It was six o'clock, just as Seth had promised. You took one last quick glance in the mirror before heading towards the door.

Seth stood in a long sleeve, white button-up, dress pants and shoes, and a black tie. His shoulder-length, dark hair was loose like yours.

"You look-" you both started in unison before bursting into a fit of giggles.

"You look so beautiful, Vi," Seth murmured, reaching out to stroke your arm.

"And you look very handsome," you agreed, nodding your head for extra effect.

"Hello, Violet!" someone called out to me from behind the shed. It sounded like an older woman.

"Er- yeah, my mom was hoping to get a few pictures of us. I know its not exactly ideal to be chaperoned as I already have my license," he said loud enough so his mother would hear him.

"Oh hush," a dark-haired woman said, "I'm Sue, Leah and Seth's mother. It's so nice to finally meet you! I've been hearing 'Violet this' and 'Violet that' since the start of the school year."

Seth's face froze, mortified at his mother's constant yet criminal chatter. "Mom," he emphasized, pointing towards the camera in her had.

"Ah, yes! Picture time, everybody," she said cheerfully, guiding you both to the nearest tree. "Pictures are always nicer in nature."

"They are," you agreed, smiling. Seth's tensed body relaxed slightly as you said that.

"My mom's just like this," you whispered to him, squeezing his hand.

Sue's excitement was palpable in the car ride towards the school, only fueling Seth's embarrassment and your flattery. Your goodbye was rushed by Seth opening the car door for you and swiftly pulling you out and away from the vehicle.

The inside of the building was pretty much the same, except for some silver party streamers hanging down from the ceiling and a few other sparkly decorations. But that didn't matter, your night was complete with the mere fact of Seth being by your side. He too seemed content, actually, ecstatic seems like a more appropriate word.

"Wanna dance?" he grinned at you, pulling you towards the mostly empty dance floor. "I've got some serious moves."

"And who says I don't?” you challenged.

"Oh, I know you do," he teased, dancing happily. Seth's dancing wouldn't ever win him a spot on Broadway but it made you laugh. You matched his energy immediately, causing the both of you to lose your breath from laughing and dancing. It was so easy to like him, he made everyone around him more cheerful and comfortable. Seth was never afraid of taking the highroad if it meant helping others and that was visible even now.

Neither of you had noticed the circle of people that had begun cheering you on, everyone laughing and smiling as both of you pulled out new dance moves to bewilder the other. You and Seth couldn't stop laughing, even after the songs had started to slow down.

When Paul Anka's 'Put Your Head On My Shoulders' started playing, however, Seth's playful smile softened, extending a hand out to you. You took it happily, as he pulled you in closely, swaying you gently as he did. You placed your free hand on his shoulder and he placed his on your waist. This was the first contact you had both had that wasn't strictly friendly. Both of you felt the electricity run through your bodies as you came in contact with each other.

"Sparks fly," he whispered, reading your mind.

"I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone," you murmured, looking up at him.

"Neither did I."

You swayed in silence together, looking at each other's eyes as you did. You wished you could read all of the thoughts that were passing through his mind at that moment.

"Then again," he started slowly, "I've never felt more sure about something in my life, even if it's new to me."

"Most of the pack's reached this point too, though," he went on thoughtfully, "Paul, Quil, Jacob, even Sam."

"It was only a matter of time," you nudged him playfully, coaxing out another one of his beautiful smiles.

"Worth the wait," he replied simply, spinning you one last time.

As the last song began to fade out, you both came to the realization that the night you had both been looking forward to was reaching its finale. You were grateful that the last couple of songs had been slow, eager to be dancing again in the comfort of Seth's arms.

"Got everything?" he asked gently, scanning the area around you in case you had forgotten something.

"Yup," you said, holding up your heels and cardigan in your hand.

"Do you mind if we wait outside? The sky's clear enough to see the moon and th-"

"The stars," you interrupted suddenly, overcome by emotion at the knowledge that Seth did in fact love the stars as you'd once hoped.

"I just," you stammered, "Really like the stars." Seth nodded silently in agreement, leaving you space to elaborate if you wanted as you two stepped out into the cool night. The night's breeze sent a shiver down your spine as you pulled on your cardigan, thankful that you'd decided to grab it after all. But it was so peaceful in that cool, dark night with Seth.

"There are so many kinds of stars and lights in the sky," you began softly, "Our people have a legend about the Northern lights, the aurora borealis. We believed they were fires that spread along the Far North, passing over a dwarves' village that would boil the whales they caught into blubber."

Seth listened to you attentively, smiling at the story you told him. "My grandpa always said they were fire too," he smiled, "the whale thing is really yours though," he continued, stroking your back softly.

You laughed. "Whales are kind of a huge deal, back home," you reminded him.

"I love hearing about your home, your people. I know our ancestors would be proud of us today, even if we're from different tribes," he said tenderly.

"A real Washington Native love story," you teased, overwhelmed by the emotion in his words before.

"Sometimes though, I think the Hopi are onto something. Each little star being an ancestor who guides us," Seth said thoughtfully.

"I've thought that too," you agreed. There were so many ideas and interpretations about stars and exploring them with Seth only brightened your evening.

"You're unlike anyone I've ever met, Violet," he breathed, ducking his head slightly. You were thankful he couldn't pick up on your blush that was beginning to color your cheeks or your heart that was pounding excitedly in your chest.

"Neither have I," you responded, "Worth the wait."

Seth brought his gaze back up to you, smiling at your words. His brow furrowed slightly, as if you had just asked him a question.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked tentatively, searching your eyes for a response. Your lips curled into a smile at the innocence of Seth and you nodded softly.

Seth held your face in his hands before leaning in slowly, looking at you under the moonlight. Your own hands cupped his warm cheeks. Seth pressed his lips softly against yours, they were as warm as the rest of him. You were grateful for a little warmth his body emitted, as the night only continued to cool. His kisses were sweet and gentle against your lips, only causing you to swoon even more. He ran his fingertips slowly through your hair and your own hands mimicked his.

After the final kiss, Seth nuzzled his nose against yours before pulling away, still holding you close. You laid your head on his shoulder as you both gazed back up at the stars.

"How are you always so warm?" you wondered out loud.

Seth chuckled. "Oh, that's a long story for another day."

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 1, Part 4 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1, Part 1 & 2 Chapter 1, Part 3

An episode with HIDE and KUMA, always together

The red mohair sweater HIDE-san was wearing, among other times, at the live at Tokyo Dome, had actually been my own sweater than I had been wearing… When HIDE-san saw me in it, he said, “That’s great, KUMA, lend it to me,” and spontaneously wore it when he went out for the event’s encore.

After that, the fan club made special HIDE-san mohairs, because all the fans wanted them. I still have the various mohairs that I used to wear in partner-look with HIDE-san long ago. The red-and-black striped one that he liked to wear a lot, the same one in black-and-violet, and so on.

And while we’re on the topic of clothes, there was the sari that he wore for encores and advertisements. It tore easily, so I stitched it often. When he wore it for a concert, I always had to have safety pins ready for when it tore. I was always careful with it.

Come to think of it, HIDE-san was wearing the sari for the artist-photos when they debuted, so of course it left a deep impression.

Because there hadn’t been a visual artist that original before him, they said.

Also, we painted his guitars together.

Like the guitar with the psychedelic colors and the paisley pattern that Shishô used as his main guitar. We painted that backstage, and I still think it is so cool.

Shishô asked me, “Do you have anything round?” and I passed him the cap of a spray can. I drew as well, imitating the things Shishô had started with.

Aside from that… most of my memories of Shishô are about music.

Thanks to him, I got to hear a lot of different music when we were together.

Shishô had liked Nirvana since their indies debut in ’89, and there was a period when he was constantly holding Nirvana CDs or photos.

When they came to Japan for the first time in ’92, he invited me: “KUMA, let’s go see them live,” and we went to Nakano Sun Plaza together.

I remember that concert very often. The concert itself lasted only an hour – and there wasn’t really anything like a set on stage.

But instead of being lacking for it, it was overflowing with energy and we were extremely satisfied with it. In regard to this, Shishô observed, “Turns out, something doesn’t need to be long in order to be good.”

There were a lot of bands like Nirvana that Shishô was interested in before their popular break out, and another one that he liked to listen to a lot was Jane’s Addiction.

When I think about it, Shishô was a hard-working person who learned a lot about anything he was interested in. Oh well, I think he really loved music.

Speaking of learning, HIDE-san often told me, “KUMA, you should read more books.”

But that story is tied to the episode of HIDE-san teaching me how to write song lyrics…

What he often said about it was:

“I start by writing what I want to say down like a journal entry. Then I adapt these words to the melody, but when there are words I want to convey, I replace them with better words and phrases. If I were to put down the original version, it would just be a diary entry. That’s why I write it over and over, as if looking for the right puzzle piece.”

“It is important to distinguish between images that can be interpreted in any way, and those that conjure up realistic scenarios. There is no right or wrong way to interpret a song, so what I value is description. It is important to have at least one realistic scene that invokes the same feeling in everyone and allows them to instantly get a sense of the scenery, the world.”  That’s what he told me many times.

Regarding HIDE-san, he was someone who read a lot of books. He simply loved writing… That’s why he put such an emphasis on words… He read a lot of books by authors like Mishima Norio. While he was writing the lyrics for “Miscast”, HIDE-san asked me, “Do you understand what this means?” When we were talking about the lyrics, he said, “You should read more books. Start with these authors,” and recommended me Mishima Norio and Hoshi Shinichi.

I still remember how HIDE-san wrote the names of those two into my notebook right there.

Aside from that, Shishô didn’t just read novels but also looked at fashion magazines a lot.

While aboard, he also ran around in search of various issues and made the concept for his own clothes. I said it before, but he was not someone to slack off in his efforts.

Chapter 1, Part 5

[truthem]

How I immerse myself in Korean and Spanish

한국어 (Korean)

I think I’m doing so good in Korean because I’m constantly watching things in Korean and exposing myself to the language.

1. K-pop

I’m such a big K-pop fan and it really helps my learning process. If I didn’t enjoy K-pop I don’t think Id be able to comprehend half of what I can today.

I watch a lot of “vlogs” from my favorite idols. (My fav to watch are LE SSERAFIM’s vlogs, they’re just really easy for me to understand and entertaining at the same time).

ATEEZ is always doing something and they’re my ult group so I’m just constantly watching them. Recently though I haven’t been watching their stuff so I have a lot to catch up on 😅

The music makes no sense to me because obviously song lyrics aren’t written in conversational everyday Korean so I don’t even really count that as listening comprehension. Every now and then I’ll catch a word I know and get shocked though 🙏

I used to watch V-lives or whatever they’re called now a lot but I can’t focus for that long anymore. (박성화 has the best lego lives)

2. K-Dramas

I don’t watch as many dramas as some people but I feel like they’ve definitely helped me get used to listening to Korean.

I try not to take any phrases or vocab from dramas because it’s a drama… and they’re dramatic 😭

I started watching Business Proposal like a month ago but I got distracted with exams and I stopped watching it with 2 episodes left… (SPOILERS: istg if 하리 and 태무 don’t stay together I’m giving up on everything)

3. Korean Cartoons

I LOVE Learn Korean with Jadoo. I barely understand any of it but it’s helped me a lot with understanding how certain grammar points are used and how certain words are used.

I also like watching Peppa Pig in Korean because the episodes are short and sweet and they’re relatively easy to understand.

I used to watch We Bare Bears in Korean but I watched like every episode they had on YouTube so now I’m rewatching in Spanish. (I genuinely love We Bare Bears, it’s always been the best cartoon out there)

4. Korean News

I like to read a lot of Korean news to help with pronunciation and reading comprehension. It also allows me to find some more specific vocabulary that I would use in describing what I do, what I like, and what I want to do in my future because I can find real stories that are specific to my interests.

5. ASMR

Soy ASMR and Seonghwas ASMR videos have been single-handedly holding my life up. Judy ASMR is also a really good creator. I like to watch like roleplay ASMR like “friend does your makeup for a party” or whatever because it exposes me to more casual vocabulary.

Español (Spanish)

1. Classes

I do take Spanish classes at school so I get over and hour of Spanish immersion in while at school everyday. We mainly use Spanish in the classroom.

2. Spanish Documentaries

I’m a bit more advanced in Spanish than I am in Korean so I prefer to watch Documentaries as to cartoons.

Documentaries also interest me more than cartoons in some aspects like learning more about different latin cultures, hearing different accents and dialects, and learning about how other people live.

3. Cartoons

I only really watch We Bare Bears in Spanish because I just like the show, but sometimes Spanish feels like a chore to me or like I’m just learning it to pass a class at this point, so cartoons are a good way to just casually comprehend the language.

4. Spanish News

I found this really good Spanish news for kids website and it’s so incredibly helpful. I’m in the process of making a “Spanish Resources” blog post like I did with Korean so I’ll definitely link that there.

I read the articles out loud to help get more comfortable with speaking, reading and my pronunciation.

They also have a podcast that’s just like a read aloud of the article so after I read the article, I go and listen to the podcast.

The topics are really interesting, too. Like one of them was about this lady bringing her pet pig to the airport to help calm people down??? I wanna go pet a pig wdym????

6. Spanish music

There are no words in the English language to express how much I love Spanish music.

It’s literally just so beautiful.

In class we have broken down various songs, so I can understand music very easily unlike in Korean even if I have to think about the lyrics for a bit.

7. Spanish YouTube videos/ASMR

I watch a lot of “un día en mi vida” type videos and I love ASMR so I watch a lot of those. 🙏

[mementoboni]

[part 1/4] DIR EN GREY WOWOW Interview & Document (2020)

“Of course, I have to face the other four members. I'm carrying their lives and my life is being carried by them as well. I did it with that determination.” — Kaoru

Notes before reading:

The whole interview is divided into 8 topics, and the translation is divided into 4 parts. This is the first part, which includes the previous 2 topics. The details of all topics and time markers are 👉 here.

I have added Chinese subtitles for this video in 2021. The whole interview was very meaningful, and I hope that with the English translation, more people can understand what they're talking about.

The five members were interviewed separately and then edited into a video, so the words spoken by each of them are not necessarily coherent.

Repost and share are welcome.🙌 I translated it all by my ears, so please feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.☺️

--- --- ---

01. Band Formation ~ Debut

►The Formation of DIR EN GREY

Shinya: All four of us were in the same band except for Toshiya on bass. Then the band broke up and we had to find a new member again. Kyo: Each of us all wanted to be in a band. So after discussion, we decided to get rid of one person and get the four of us together. (*Note: After La:Sadie's disbanded, the four of them decided to form a new band in addition to KISAKI.) Die: We were friends with Toshiya at that time, so we thought about finding all the members and forming a band with him. Toshiya: At that time, their band was gaining momentum. I would like to play with the four of them if it's possible and I happened to be invited. That's what happened.

►Origin of the Band Name

Kaoru: At that time, there was a band that communicated with us very closely. The band had a song called DIR EN GREY*, and that's where our band got its name. I always thought it was a good name, so I suggested it as the name of our band. (*Note: It refers to a song called "Dir en Gray" by the band "LAREINE" (with Kamijo as vocalist), which was formed in 1994.) Kyo: There were two alternative names at that time, the other one was proposed by me, but the final vote was 3:2 so I lost. (laughs)  After I lost, the band name became DIR EN GREY. (*Note: Another name is "如月" (きさらぎ, kisaragi ) → Dir en grey turns 25 today! )

►Looking Back at the time of Debut

Shinya: The three debut singles were produced by YOSHIKI-san. He also played the piano for our song after debut, I had no regrets at that time even if I died, that's how I felt. Kaoru: At that time, we had only recorded once or twice in a decent studio, and we had also recorded in places like homes.  YOSHIKI-san took us straight to a professional recording studio and said, "Let's make the debut single!" without giving us time to think.

. . .

02. Expression

►Awareness in the Creative Process

Die: After all, the band has been around for more than 20 years, therefore, we have to create something more exciting. It's not that I have to do anything, but I try to experiment with all kinds of things. So there are times when we can't be categorized as anything but DIR EN GREY. Shinya: While it is changing over time, now I just want to make songs that I feel good about. Toshiya: Every recording has to add the sound that you think is good, and you must like the songs you create, or you must love them. Kaoru: The overall sense of balance and the feeling that the listener will have, and of course there are many other things.  I would listen to the song several times to feel it, and repeat it over and over again. I can remember it by listening to it over and over again. After listening to it a few times, I will pay attention to interesting pieces, new discoveries, and so on, while I'm composing. Kyo: Most people have a fixed style after 20 years, like "This is the way this person is," but I'm not like that. Of course it's cool to stick to your own unique style, although I can do that and feel like I can keep myself. Kyo: I don't like to make people think that "This is how I am in the end" or something like that, it's not my style. I want to show the changes in each moment directly. When I can't express the music naturally, I may stop, and when I can't create freely, I will stop.

►Things want to Convey through Music

Toshiya: What I/we want to convey is simply "pain (痛み)". Living is a hard thing, and being able to create that power of anger, I think that's our music. Kyo: I am very bad at expressing beautiful things, or is that not for me?  It's... it's irritating.  Maybe it's because I often feel that there is nothing good in the world, and I don't like things that look like fabrications. Shinya: Those are supposed to be in the lyrics, and I don't particularly want to express the pain with the drums. 🤣🤣 Kaoru: I think that varies from person to person, and there is no right answer. For me, I also have a part of myself that I want to convey, so maybe I'm thinking about that while I'm creating.  If I were to say that we all share the same idea, it would be that we can express what we think without hiding it. Die: Being able to feel pain means you are alive, and hope is born from that. The first thing I/we want to convey is "to be alive". (*Screen caption: Feeling pain = Being alive)

►The Motivation for Expression

Kyo: If there is something that I want to convey which will be the motivation, I am not.  I'm just living. Toshiya: It should be the anger and sadness in life, just the two.  If I can express both, I feel I can be saved. Shinya: There will be people who come to see the LIVE, and those fans are my motivation. Kaoru: I think it's because I don't want to admit defeat. I don't want to admit defeat, it should be more like I don't like to admit defeat. I am a weak person, I will want to run away when things happen, and will want to give up when I can't do it. But on this point I still do not want to give in to defeat, I want to do it well. Kaoru: Of course, I have to face the other four members. I'm carrying their lives and my life is being carried by them as well. I did it with that determination. (*Oh, leader sama😳) Die: I think it's LIVE. LIVE is the most direct place to convey ideas and resonate with people. I am moving forward with LIVE as my goal.

(To be continued...)

--- --- ---

part 2. & part 3. & part4.

topics & time marks

中文翻譯 (My Blogger) part 1. & part 2. & part 3.

[autisticempathydaemon]

sorry if this is a lil long (￣□￣;)!!

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

there are a few albums (igor, damn., songs) ive been listening to on loop for a few weeks now, but if i were to narrow it down to one song it would be “forwards beckon rebound” by adrianne lenker ^_^. i liked it when i first listened to the album in full but then found out my boyfriend liked it, so i LOVE it now. 

What is your Enneagram type?

INFP-T, 4w3

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i LOVE them!! i really enjoy jacob geller’s video essays, specifically his video “how can we bear to throw anything away?”. i think its SUPER cool and very poetically justifies my hoarding. though for GARGANTUAN, i like flawed peacock’s 7 hour and 42 minute video on “who’s lila”, which i still havent finished.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

when i was around 9 i used to be called “daffodil” when teased so i turned daffodil into my alter ego and spoke to her with pure hatred

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

most of the time i scroll and scroll and scroll until im about to pass out from exhaustion, but when im NOT doing that, either put on music or a sleep aid audio n stare at my ceiling til i fall asleep.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

im trans and have been out to my friends for around 3-4 years now, and i changed my name to my current one due to dissatisfaction with my previous name choice and my fixation on the character i named myself after.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

ashers 2021 hbs. its so sweet and silly and full of love <3 i love asher and i love fluff :3

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

guy. hes alright but i just dont see the appeal character-wise. hes kind of just erik’s self-insert or low-effort character which is great for him but not that interesting for me.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

book + movie: the perks of being a wallflower, and tv show: brooklyn 99. i was DEEPLY into tpobaw a few months ago and finished the book (with annotations) in 4 days. charlie kelmeckis is me!! as for b99, its my comfort show and i’ve rewatched it at least 6 times in full.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

caelum :3 i need to hug him asap!! need to bake with him!!

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

no specific topic, but ill start talking about how much i love something or someone. tired me is very loving. according to my best friend i talk a lot about my boyfriend when im sleepy.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

diet coke and ice cream ^_^ 

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. 

there are a few, but my top three are a playlist containing every alex g song i like, a playlist full of love songs of all different genres and artists, and a playlist i made in 2022 when i was into more obscure rock ^_^. but mostly i listen to adrianne lenker or kendrick lamar on shuffle.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

video essays talking about drake vs kendrick. i swear ive watched over a hundred videos related to that drama, mostly cause i love kendrick so much and have been a drake hater since 2015. 

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

im a big lover of the arts!! both visual (i draw both traditionally and digitally, and have tried painting) and musical (big music fan + very amateur singer and guitarist). i really like movies, but i like movie analysis youtube videos more! in that same vein, i love horror media but am too scared most of the time to actually consume it, so i watch a lot of horror explanation or analysis videos.

im an extremely awkward person to talk to, like severely. also i like minecraft a lot, avid hermitcraft watcher.

Type Fours are so lovely, so internally complex and magnificent and creative despite and perhaps in conjunction with their introversion. I think a fellow introvert would especially appreciate that about you- Anton, specifically.

Another reason I like y’all together is this enneagram type (and MBTI) tends to be very feelings based, very pathos motivated, and that would contrast from Anton whose life and job are so technical, so logos-y. You bring so much light and verve into his life; whenever he sees art, he thinks of you and how it would make you feel. You make him think more about how he feels, you know? The art you create and the way you experience art, the way you enjoy things, makes him marvel.

And you do love to enjoy things with him, to show new things and movies and shows, because his marvel in turn makes things even more fun for you! Anton strikes me as the type of guy who knows nothing about pop culture if left alone, so you get to show him everything. He likes Brooklyn Nine Nine a lot more than he thought. (Terry is his favorite; he also likes yogurt and wants to be a girl dad.) He doesn’t give a single shit about the Kendrick/Drake beef but you’re so animated when you talk about it, he listens raptly. He doesn’t really enjoy horror, but it doesn’t scare him either so he’s a comforting presence whenever you decide to try watching some.

Song:

A volcano erupted/ And the stars fell one by one/ And finally I'm done right/ And it's a kite trapped in my mind/ But I don't mind/ I think of your hands on my body/ And they feel nice/ Just one more night

(Thank you again, Spotify Artist Radios, because I don’t listen to a lot of folk! This is a new song for me!) I chose this one for you and Anton because of the phrase “velvet kind of mood”, because it makes me think of how Anton’s love would tactile-y feel- warm, plush, heavy like a weighted blanket and just as comforting. The lyric “just one more night” also made me think of Anton holding onto you the night before he leaves, so I could not resist.

Runner-ups:

Geordi is the first runner-up that came to mind because he strikes me as the most… artistically inept of the redacted bois if you will- thus, he would feel the most awe and reverence and your prowess. Plus, I like to headcanon him as trans, and we love a t4t couple. Asher is my favorite runner up for you though, but I can’t quite word why. I think it’s something about his extrovert energy against yours.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[tracesofdevotion]

i have this obsession. i want to know what you like about things.

like, i know what i like about a book, or song, or object. a chair, or a movie or a pair of pants. i could give you an entire list. but i really really want to know what you like. what makes your heart sing. what’s your favorite moment of a movie? why do you like that shirt? what’s that item that you picked up in a store and thought, ‘i will buy this, i am attached for no reason.’

i love talking to people about their hobbies. i’ll let them just blab for hours about whatever they’re super duper into, even if it’s something i’ve never heard of. i listen to podcasts about the most boring topics in the world just for the sake of wanting to know someone. I once spent 4 hours listening to my little cousin rant to me about a video game. i have never, not even once, heard of this video game or played this video game for no other reason than I just don’t want to. but i will listen anyway because i love him and his little rants about sci-fi overlords

everyone’s hobbies are super interesting in their own little ways. i will listen to you for hours about your collection of old watches or whatever if that’s what you want to talk about. I would probably never buy a watch, because i don’t have enough wrists and i have my phone, but i’d like to hear your list of what a good watch is and why it’s important that it doesn’t have any scratches

the other day i listened to a stranger on the internet talk to me about her birds for 20 minutes. i have never, in my life, owned a bird. i’m not even a bird person. but i listened to her talk about her bird and their little bird friends and the toys in their cage and i asked questions and I’ve never been so interested in something i didn’t care about ever in my entire life. i think about her birds often

one time a woman was showing me her houseplants and she talked for an entire hour, and all i could think about was how passionate and happy she sounded. the way she spoke about this little sprouted leaf or tiny green baby was the same as people who talk about their kids. she was happy, and animated, and i just sat for an entire hour nodding and listening intently because what’s the point of hobbies if not to share them? just think, i would have never, ever known about these little flowers if i never knew her

[hoochy-coo]

Ttpd as a whole ! :)

In terms of her entire discography, this is firmly at 4 for me if you put all the songs together.

The pros are:

- This is her most autobiographical and self-referential album to date. I know that makes the music somewhat inaccessible to casual listeners but if you’re a stan that’s taken the time to digest, you can trace the map. This speaks to how parasocial her fanbase is but that’s a different conversation

- Taylor is usually very curated and calculated about what she wants us to know and how that will ultimately impact how we perceive her as well as her brand. However, she let it all hang out this album and I applaud that.

- The highs are career highs. We have great moment of introspections (Clara Bow, BDILH, The Manuscript, HDIE, ILIPW). We also have some of her best song writing since folkevermore (The Prophecy, SLL, The Black Dog, the Albatross, GAS, FOTS, Loml)

- It’s a grower. I think a lot of the songs need to grow on you because of the length of the album and how wordy a lot of the songs are.

- This album potentially marks her first instance of “not giving a fuck” and putting whatever she wants out. Which possibly signals a change in her creative process and we’ll be getting more raw and honest writing from her moving forward

- The music is catchy. Like cringe all you want over Down Bad but it’s catchy as hell

The cons:

- It’s bloated, unfocused, and confused. I totally get that she wrote most of this at a very painful, confusing period of her life. However, I agree with the NYT’s review that she badly needs an editor. For example, BDILH is AMAZING - it’s like grown up Speak Now on crack and in the context of the TS lore, it’s her giving a cheeky wink while flipping the “fairytale” motif that’s been such a staple to her career. However, it is so ridiculously wordy that it’s such a task to listen to. My head was spinning when I first heard the bridge LMAO. Which brings me to my next point…

- TTPD is self indulgent and not in a good way. She is clearly SPEAKING DIRECTLY to her muse on this album. She is doing so much to send a message to Matty Healey here that it gets a little uncomfortable. There are way too many coded messages and secret in-jokes. I’m in no way saying us as an audience should be able to demand comfort from her work, but I can’t lie and say it doesn’t take away from the enjoyment of the music. A lot of the tracks are clearly intended to sound like 1975 as a jab at Matty and it’s not cute.

- It’s trying to be a Lana album. Drag me all you want but she is writing in Lana cursives for half of this album and I don’t get why. Taylor did some of her best writing her when she kept it simple and worked off a relatable point of reference. For example, the Black Dog tells a very simple story of discovering that your ex-lover forgot to turn off his location and now you’re spiraling wondering what he’s doing at that exact location and who he’s with. Same with the Prophecy - it’s literally about trying and failing at love over and over again and wondering if it’s just not in the cards for you.

- Jack and Aaron. They are all stunting each other and she needs to take a break from working with them for a while. I’m in no way saying that Jack and Aaron didn’t do some good work on this album (because they absolutely did) but it���s clear that they’re not pushing her to try something new.

- Repeated exploration of the same topics and not having new or interesting to say. See: thanK you aIMee, Cassandra and WAOLOM. It’s the same thing being written about from the same lens. She could have kept it in the vault.

- It feels rushed. It just does and the sheer amount of songs thrown onto the album with no stream lining or even sonic ties makes it an exhausting listen in one sitting.

- Not leaning into the horror themes and motifs seems like a lost opportunity. There are tons of horror references on this album that she seemingly has done nothing with. Down Bad compares getting dumped with being dropped back to earth after an alien abduction, WAOLOM likens herself to a witch, TSMWEL compares her ex-lover ghosting her as getting betrayed and shot by a double agent, SLL referencing death, funerals and being reviving back to life but barely living, Fortnight literally references murders, ICDIWABH is a circus nightmare etc.

- All that marketing she did around Joever, which sent her stans on a with hunt, only for the album to be some other muse has left a bad taste in my mouth.

Overall, I’d say the pros trump the cons. However, I honestly think had she sat with it a bit more, rearranged some, edited bits and pieces, and trimmed off the excess, she would have had a fantastic album.

[mimicteruyo]

Hello, this is very random ask about your KomaEiki fanfics!

I’ve been reading your KomaEiki fanfic for about 3-4 years and I love every single one of them! I think my favorites out of all of them include Sleeping Beauty, Reflections of Higanbana, Glass Mirror and Nothing Says Romance Like Holding Back a Scolding.

I do have one question though, is Reflections of Higanbana sort of a “happy ending fix it fanfic” to Glass Mirror? I’m not sure if this was your intention when it came to writing Reflections of Higanbana but when I first read the fanfic I couldn’t help but think this due to the fact Eiki and Komachi were able to figure how they would handle their romantic relationship while also their work relationship at the same time while in Glass Mirror this wasn’t the case and Eiki basically couldn’t even tell Komachi she loved her due to work rules. I don’t know, I always felt like the two fanfics were connected somehow and that somehow the events of Reflections of Higanbana were the key to fixing the unrequited love story shown in Glass Mirror. The names for both of the fanfics also seem connected since mirrors reflect what is shown within them. I might be looking into things a bit too much but I wanted to see your perspective of things as the author of those fanfics.

Also very unrelated but thanks to those specific fanfics I couldn’t stop listening to the song Romeo and Cinderella by Doriko (this is a Vocaloid song) and it’s one of my favorite Vocaloid songs now. I would totally recommend listening to it if you are interested. Maybe the whole tragedy and happy ending thing got to my head a bit when reading those two fanfics…..

Back on topic though, do you have any plans to write a hurt/comfort KomaEiki fanfic by any chance? I’ve notice there really isn’t any out there and it would be really interesting to see your spin on things with this specific fanfiction trope.

Anyways keep up the good work!! 🐾🐾

Hi! This was a really fun ask to receive! Sorry it took me a while to reply: I wanted to think my answer through since your question was so thoughtful.

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so glad you like the fics! KomaEiki feels like a pretty niche ship these days, so I'm always super delighted to find other people who enjoy it.

The short answer is yes, Reflections of Higanbana is a fix-it for Glass Mirror (and the names are indeed intentionally connected). I didn't deliberately reference anything from the older fic besides the title in the newer one, but the intention was definitely there.

The long answer is a bit more complicated. Before Glass Mirror, I wrote a LOT of KomaEiki that I never finished and which thus never saw the light of day, trying really hard to make fetch the ship happen. I was still new to writing as well as lacking in life experience, and combined with my then present neuroses about adhering to canon I just couldn't get it to work in a way that satisfied me. Ultimately I wrote Glass Mirror as the closest thing to KomaEiki I could at the time and basically gave up on writing romance fics altogether for years afterwards.

The basic structure of Reflections of Higanbana actually comes from one of those unfinished fics: it was a short fic dominated by dialogue, similarly taking place over the centuries but with an ending very similar to Glass Mirror. Weirdly enough I couldn't actually find it when I went looking for it in preparation for writing Reflections, but I swear it existed. 😂

Before Reflections, I'd finally gotten back to writing pure shipfic and realising how much I loved it. At the beginning I deliberately only wrote fluffy established relationship KomaEiki to avoid the issues that stymied baby!Mimic's KomaEiki attempts, but then I decided it was time to give a more serious fic another try and write what I'd so desperately tried to write back in the day. At that point, I'd grown up enough to realise that, you know, the characters could in fact have an adult conversation about their relationship and thus sort things out (and also by then canon had revealed that the administration of Hell is messy lmao), and so I finally managed to write the fic little me wanted to read.

Thank you for the song rec! I'll check it out! 😊

I'm certainly open to the idea of h/c KomaEiki, but unfortunately I can't promise anything: I've been in a pretty serious creative lurch for a long while now and haven't really had any new fic ideas all year. The most I can say is that one of the fics I'm currently horribly stalled on might have some KomaEiki in it. Anyway, I'll do my best to get out of this mire and start writing again.

Thank you for your continued support! 🌼

[specialshipping-blog]

I saw the "100 otp questions" by the-moon-dust-writings on Tumblr, and I wanted to answer all of them. I thought it would be a perfect first post for this blog. ^^

——————————

1. Who loves flower crowns more?

Yellow. Red doesn't like them that much, to be honest he's not a big fan of flowers in general. However, he likes seeing Yellow wearing them, especially because of the cute, somewhat embarrassed face she has when putting them on. This look makes him not hate them that much.

2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle?

Red. He's completely touch-starved.

3. Who has awful taste in music?

I feel like neither, but I think Yellow's the type of person who would listen to the same song over and over again for a few weeks, to the point that Red leaves the room whenever he hears it.

4. Who is the meme lover?

Red. This one is just from the vibes alone, he's been spending way too much time with Gold. His favourite ones are the ones that can annoy Yellow or at least tease her.

5. How did their second date go?

They probably had dinner somewhere quiet, surrounded by candles and flowers, talked about most random things, had dessert and a few drinks.

6. How many children do they want/have?

2-3.

7. Who hides the weapons?

Red.

8. Who is the better dancer?

Also Red.

9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding?

Probably something in cottagecore style.

10. What do their parents think of them dating?

Red's parents are most likely dead or if they aren't, then don't give a damn about him, so Red wouldn't care about their opinion anyway (similar with Yellow's). Yellow's uncle was very cautious about Red and them dating at first, yet later he warmed up and was happy for them. Yet he still threatened him during their wedding that if something happens to her, he will get him.

11. Are they a super sappy couple?

In public, no. When they're alone, 100% yes.

12. How did they get together?

After emerald arc they slowly started to realise that they actually enjoy each other's accompany yes Yellow had a crush on him since they first met, but she was always a little intimidated by him, since earlier they didn't have time to meet up or even talk on any sort of occasion, to be honest except for the times when they had to save the world together, they barely knew each other. So they slowly got to know each other better and eventually decided that they want to be together.

13. Who asked the other to get married?

Yellow actually sort of decided they'd get married eventually shortly after they first met, and was already making plans. Once when they were passing the jeweler's Yellow saw a gorgeous ring and immediately fell in love with it. Red saw it, but pretended he didn't. Later on he bought this ring and popped up the question durning one of their walks in Viridian Forest, and was very nervous about it, even though he knew she'd say yes. 

14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes?

Red.

15. Who is the nerd?

Yellow.

16. Who knows the most obscure facts?

Depends on what you mean by obscure. Useless curiosities, mostly about pokémon? Red. Medical shit or sometimes botany? Yellow.

17. Who makes the other a flower crown?

Yellow. If she has to wear one to please both Red and then years later their kids, then she's making him wear one too.

18. Who likes to read?

Yellow definitely, however Red also reads something from time to time when interested.

19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

Red, because he's her handsome husband and he has the right to annoy her.

20. Who tutors the other?

Depends on the topic, but mostly Yellow.

21. Do they have similar taste in movies?

No. Red can't stand rom-coms, meanwhile Yellow is not that fond of thrillers or horrors. Which concludes in them barely watching something together. It's not like they actually watch TV that often though.

22. How do their personalities compliment each other?

I could write the whole analysis with multiple paragraphs about this, but in order of keeping it short I would say that Yellow makes Red prioritise his emotions and needs more, instead of being a people pleaser to everyone like he always is. While Red makes Yellow believe in herself more, making her notice all her worths.

23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon?

Either Yellow is making a sweet speech during a dinner with the people closest to them, or Red just randomly mentions it, completely out of context durning a conversation like it's nothing.

24. Who has better fashion sense?

Surprisingly, Red. He often has to help out Yellow choosing what to wear.

25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

Red will beat the shit out of anyone who even dares to think of mistreating Yellow.

26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle?

Songs by their favorite artists or the soundtracks of the movies, tv shows and musicals they liked.

27. What other couple would your otp get along with?

Kokomi and Gorou from Genshin Impact. I feel like they would go on a double dates with Gold and Silver.

28. Who likes to prank the other?

Red.

29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures?

Yellow. She likes to keep pictures as a way to always remember the good things that happen to her, she even prints those photos just to keep them in the albums or on her desk.

30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates?

I mean... *cough* we already have a canonical explanation to that, Yellow is embarrassed, but sort of happy, meanwhile Red is pretty much chill about it, but doesn't seem to mind.

31. Where would they live?

Somewhere quiet for sure. Either in Red's house in Pallet Town or they would have a small cabin nearby Viridian Forest. 

32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one?

I don't know much about dragons, but they probably would have the baby ones, that are not too big and don't make that much of a mess.

33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be?

Yellow would be a pacifistic vampire, that feeds exclusively of animals. Red would probably be the same, but from time to time he allows himself to drink blood of the bad guys.

34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

I don't feel like they would dress up, but nun and demon/fallen angel seems suiting.

35. Can they name each other’s favourite food?

Absolutely.

36. Do they have pet names for one another?

They both love to call each other darling.

37. How do they cheer each other up?

By being there for one another, either to give advice/help, or just to listen as they vent about their feelings.

38. Do they show a lot of PDA?

Yellow dislikes PDA as she doesn't like being in a centre of attention, she simply feels uncomfortable by it. Red respects it, but from time to time he might kiss her or do something else in front of the others just to tease her.

39. How old were they when they got together?

Yellow was around 17-18, Red 19-20.

40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home?

Yellow. It's actually oblivious at this point.

41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses?

They can do any pose.

42. What is their song?

"If you come into my heart"

43. What does their room look like?

Pretty simple, with some basic furniture and a lot of things like photos, things they like or have good memories with, also a huge bed.

44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded?

Red kills the zombies, while Yellow provides healing and support.

45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed?

Red.

46. Who loves kids more?

They love their children equally, Yellow just shows it a bit more.

47. Do either of them have a crazy ex?

Nope.

48. What are their favourite colours?

Shades of red, gold and green.

49. Who likes to cook?

Red, because he's ridiculously good at it.

50. Who is the forgetful one?

Yellow. She is smart, but sometimes she forgets about the most simple things.

51. Does either of them know how to fight?

If it's about pokémon battles then both, if not then Red.

52. What do they do for Valentines Day?

They do whatever they love doing together. Go on a walk, maybe fishing or even if one of them finally gives up on what to watch, aka Red 99% of the times they watch some movies as they're hugged into each other and they fall asleep like that later.

53. Who swears more?

Red.

54. Who has the better comebacks?

Again Red. I mean, when he's mad he can kill people with words.

55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale?

ONCE AGAIN RED.

56. Who reads buzzfeed?

Yellow, when she has nothing better to do.

57. Who is the hopeless romantic?

Yellow.

58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand?

Red probably.

59. Who can rap better?

My money is on Red.

60. Do either of them want to go sky diving?

They both probably thought about it once or twice while flying on their mons.

61. What do they usually text about?

Literally anything that they're thinking of.

62. Who is the dramatic one?

Red is the dramatic queen, I make no rules I know I'm correct.

63. Is either one confrontational?

It depends on the situation, but yep.

64. What is their favourite cuddle position?

Any position that allows them to easily and comfortably fall asleep in each other's arms.

65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)?”

They can't decide as most of the times they like only 3 songs at maximum from each artist.

66. What are their parenting styles?

Yellow is very caring and understanding, yet a bit more strict, and Red is just a spoiling dad, he wants to be the best father ever for his children as he never had a parent figure himself, so he knows the pain. They're both very loving and protective over their kids.

67. Who would be the more laid back one?

Yellow.

68. Who listens to more vulgar music?

Red.

69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?

Red keeps random secrets from his early childhood about stupid things and Yellow knowing wouldn't affect anything. He keeps them for no reason, other than a feeling of pure embarrassment he would feel if he told her.

70. Who is their go to couple for a double date?

Gold and Silver.

71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date?

They both only don't do it when the waiter/waitress did a bad job.

72. How do they work out a fight?

Dialogue.

73. Who brings home an illegal pet?

Yellow.

74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on?

Red doesn't care what side of the bed he sleeps on, since he knows Yellow only cares about using him as a pillow.

75. What is their favorite photo of them two together?

The photo of their first kiss after being officially married.

76. Who takes longer in the bathroom?

Yellow.

77. Who has more songs on their ipod?

Red.

78. What movie did they first see together?

"Titanic" probably, when they started dating it was going currently on the TV and Yellow loved this movie and wanted to watch it with him. Red agreed only because he didn't want to make her upset.

79. What do they like to see each other in?

Yellow likes seeing him shirtless in his tight tank tops. Red loves seeing her in beautiful dresses and cute clothes in general, including his clothes, that are oversized to her.

80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

Red, because he can't read the room sometimes, or he just wants to annoy someone on purpose.

81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children?

Probably as soon as they get married.

82. What do they love about each other the most?

Red loves how kind and loving Yellow is, while Yellow how passionate and hardworking he is.

83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details?

Depends on their mood and on the subject.

84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary?

Yellow would make a short sappy, but really cute note about their life together, how proud she is of him,  how happy he makes her everyday etc. Red would write a bunch of compliments and loving phrases.

85. Who is bad at math?

Yellow.

86. Who googles everything?

Yellow, especially when she argues with Red about something. Red doesn't need it, he knows he's right.

87. Who does stuff on impulse?

Usually Red, but Yellow has her moments too.

88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

Lots of cuddles and emotional support.

89. What is an inside joke they have?

They probably often quote some crappy movies quotes, that they regret watching.

90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

Both.

91. What is their favourite holiday?

Christmas, Red used to hate it before, but after he met Yellow he slowly grew on it and started to enjoy it. For them this holiday is just a perfect opportunity to spend some quality time together without anyone interrupting them.

92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive?

Usually Yellow is calm and collected while Red is angry and destructive. Usually.

93. What is their favourite board game to play?

Chess. Pretty basic, but they're both pretty competitive when it comes to it.

94. Who accidentally sets something on fire?

Red, probably when he's training with his team.

95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store?

Yellow, because she knows she would be too stressed to rob.

96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert?

Mareux maybe.

97. Who sleep talks?

Yellow literally does this canonically, Red finds it pretty cute.

98. Who is the more social one?

Red obviously, he loves being with other people as he doesn't want to feel alone, yet he ends up spending most of his time with Yellow anyway after they get together.

99. What are their karaoke songs?

They don't like karaoke unless they're drunk and when they're drunk they sing everything.

100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh?

Red. He has a psychological need to make his girlfriend smile.

[kolttonen]

The psychological horror of Brand New's The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me - an album analysis, part 3/4

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

If they don’t put me away, well, that’ll be a miracle

A big part of the allure of Brand New's music is that it is written almost from the point of a villain. After the allegations about Lacey came up in 2017, internet commenters have come in swarms, expressing that Brand New's discography was filled with hints of grooming and sexually predatory behavior. The Devil And God is no exception, and the first lyric that comes to mind to many is the catchy opening verse of Jesus Christ:

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face The kind you'd find on someone I could save If they don't put me away Well, it'll be a miracle

There are also the lines in the first verse of You Won’t Know, in which the writer describes himself as the origin of an undesirable chain reaction in a woman's life:

Your daughters weren't careful, I fear that I am a slippery slope Now even if I lay my head down at night After a day I got perfectly right She won't know

Or the ones in Luca, which allure to bad intentions 

When I disappear do you fear for the sister I took? When I disappear it is clear I am up to no good

Archers also has an interesting line in hindsight:

Order your daughters to ignore me Think that will sort me And sweep me under the rug

On The Devil And God the narrator is often addressing the family of the women in question, while the women are referred to as sisters and daughters, never as their own people. This adds a level of shock value to the lyrics - the “taking of the sister” or things that resulted in a “slippery slope” are never explained, but it is almost as if the narrator gets off on the reactions of his actions. 

Brand New wrote about women a lot, Lacey often expressing his tumultuous behavior with women in his songwriting. In his 2017 apology post, Lacey confirmed that he had had an addictive relationship to sex and had been a habitual cheater for most of his life, treating women he had had relations with disrespectfully and often not understanding the power dynamics at play between him and his sexual partners. This complicated issue is often present in Brand New's music, spanning from song lyrics that could almost be read as a tutorial of how to trick people into bed with you, to detailed descriptions of self-hatred for one’s own actions. According to my own impression, the topic is more prevalent on 2003’s Deja Entendu and 2009’s Daisy, but is not completely absent on The Devil And God. 

As a Brand New fan who only started listening to them years after the aggressive cancellation of Lacey, I am inclined to view their music from a point of view that highlights the parts of their lyrics that could be interpreted as a person taking advantage of others. Some say you can’t get through a Brand New album without hearing lyrics about hurting women, but comments like that don’t turn me off their music in the same way it seems to have done for a lot of online commenters. In many ways, it almost has the opposite effect - the hints of moral decay and hearing the train of thought of the obvious villain in someone else's story is a unique component of the band's music which wouldn’t be the same without it. 

The inner monologue on The Devil and God is anything but accepting, and because of that, I find its portrayal of a bad person comforting. The overall feeling I am left with Brand New’s more badly aged music is that the men who hurt women are just that, men. They are not devils or these big things whose actions should consume you, they are just men.

After listening to a whole song about hurting a child on Limousine, is it obnoxious to think that maybe writing about an accident that had nothing to do with Lacey himself, might have been a way to conceal some personal emotions about the alleged sexual misconduct happening at the time? The narrator being an alcoholic man accidentally killing a young girl could be just a more publicly acceptable framework for lyrics which in reality could be about damaging someone's sexual innocence in the desperation of your own sex addiction. Deflecting your feelings onto something else is easy - almost everyone has cried to a song or a movie or has felt too strongly about a contestant on a reality show. We all see and hear ourselves in different media and latch onto the stories which resonate with us the most, and creative people often create stories which reflect feelings they wouldn’t dare to voice as their own.

Writing about how you see yourself being a bad person is a suicide mission in a society where everything is taken at face value and nuance hardly exists, so it only makes sense to write out your emotions in a more complex narration, where the origin of them could be easily deflected. I don’t think Brand New's music is autobiographical in any sense, but I think it’s fair to say that someone feeling at peace with himself wouldn’t write an album like The Devil And God.

Absolution

The religious themes of The Devil And God are apparent and can’t be missed. Faith is a recurring theme on the album and the writer's relationship with God works as a great analysis tool for his feelings. Some of the songs read as prayers and conversations between the narrator and God, where the narrator asks questions in the realm of “Am I a good person? Are my actions rightful? What happens to people like me? Am I living a good life?”

The religious themes on The Devil And God revolve around knowing when you are not a good person, trying to come to terms with that and live your life with that knowledge. Limousine offers an awful story of a man who hurts a little girl and has to live with the guilt surrounding that. Through this morbid story the album works on feelings of guilt and remorse and begs the question “How will I get myself from underneath this guilt that will crush me?” The album studies this relationship between a bad person and God, and tries to figure out the nuances of living after an unfathomable nightmare happens. The album also explores the themes of dying and killing yourself (in Sowing season, You Won’t Know) and questions, who is welcome to heaven and who is not (in Jesus Christ)? Whose repentance is welcome, and is there atonement for all (in Limousine)?

 The christian imagery around dying makes the album almost lighter - death is not the end-all be-all for the writer as it is also seen as coming back to a father figure (in Jesus Christ). Although The Devil And God is sometimes analyzed as a deconstruction of a man's faith in God, I happen to disagree - this album is neither an atheist nor a religion-critical one, and if you wanted to find one of those in Brand New's discography, you would have to squint your eyes and see all the way to 2017’s Science Fiction.

... continues in part 4

[recurring-polynya]

Hey! I hope this is alright to ask, but do you have a specific poet whose works you associate with RenRuki?

Boy, did you send this ask to the wrong person.

I am not a poetry person.

I mean, nothing against poetry, I am very happy for the poetry-enjoyers, there's a lot of good poetry in this world, but I can read at most 3 or 4 lines of poetry before my brain just shuts off. I have a good friend who is very into poetry and reads a lot of it, and I have tried, it's just not interesting to me. I know it cannot possibly be related to my auditory processing disorder, but it's roughly the same experience as listening to an audiobook or podcase-- of being aware that information is being directed at me, but being completely unable to ingest it without deliberately focusing on it in a way that is both taxing and deeply unpleasant.

Furthermore, the handful of poems that do stick with me to any degree are...not...topical. I sat down and tried to think about Poems That I Can Name, and came up with the following list:

Two Corbies (a medieval Scottish poem about crows eating a knight's corpse)

Dulce et Decorum Est, by Wilfred Owen, a WWI poem I read in high school about watching someone die by inhaling chlorine gas

Ozymandias, by Mary Shelley's husband. In my head, I thought this was a very long poem, like on the order of Rime of the Ancient Mariner, and it's 14 lines long.

Pachycephalosaurus, by Richard Armour, which I know by heart and will recite at the least provocation, much to the chagrin of my spouse and children.

That William Carlos Williams poem about plums, but only because it's a Twitter meme.

I mean, I will read a poem if someone posts one to Twitter or Tumblr, usually by either Mary Oliver or Richard Siken, and I will often say "yes, that was a nice poem," but and if pressed, I could probably name as many as ten poets, but please don't ask me to "associate their work" with anything.

The closest thing I have to a poem that I associate with Rukia, is actually from an Oh Hellos song that feels like a poem to me, which is:

But Death, she is cunning and clever as hell And she'll eat you alive

I do like many of the Bleach volume poems, but one of their major selling points is that they are short.

I am sure someone is reading this post who has read my fanfiction and saying, Polynya, if you hate poetry, why does it come up in your stories so much? Are you a fraud???

a) of all, yes, of course, always. I don't know jack about doing make-up or hand-to-hand combat, and I write about those things at great length, also.

b) A major theme I like to explore in my writing is the various ways people communicate with one another and how some are more effective than others and that some communicate things that were not, in fact, intended to be communicated.

At some level, I think Renji wishes he were the sort of guy who could express his feelings for Rukia through a romantic poem, but he also feels, deeply, that he is not, and that he is so far from being such a person that it's embarrassing for him to even try. (I love to imply, from time to time, that Renji considers Izuru to be peak boyfriend material and that he's a big nothingburger in comparison, this is very charming to me). Once every hundred thousand words or so that I write, I will give him (1) charming poetic thought, isolated from any actual poetry, which serves to help him process his own emotions and are not for anyone else.

On the other hand, I don't think Rukia wants poems written for or about her! I think that (like me), the idea of someone writing a love poem for her would make her want to claw her own skin off. Poetry is so deliberate. It is wrapping a message in an extra layer of intention, like gift wrap. To many people, this is very romantic, for example, I love the idea that Byakuya and Hisana exchanged poetry, both that they wrote themselves and or that they found in books that they curated for one another. I think Rukia prefers to be regarded at some subconscious level. Poetry is too direct, too raw. A proper love poem to Rukia is in the ringing of swords when fighting back-to-back, it's in a stride shortened to keep pace, it's in an a cabinet full of spicy pickles that the owner can't eat himself.

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

I posted 7,662 times in 2022

That's 3,854 more posts than 2021!

1,208 posts created (16%)

6,454 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@emysteri

@bloodandglittertastessobitter

@schnoodlestein

@tinnike

@tillake

I tagged 7,646 of my posts in 2022

#rammstein - 5,000 posts

#paul landers - 2,224 posts

#richard kruspe - 2,165 posts

#till lindemann - 1,120 posts

#christoph schneider - 1,086 posts

#oliver riedel - 896 posts

#flake lorenz - 825 posts

#rammstein tour 2022 - 540 posts

#rammstein fanart - 459 posts

#daily dose of paul - 303 posts

Longest Tag: 84 characters

#although it would be nice to see him post something with one of the others some time

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Rammstein - Leipzig 2022-05-20 - Till breaking up 'Guitarists being cute' 😊

from IG account cawa254 and atw73

...okay okay, that's enough of that, move along move along.. 😁

See the full post

173 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

#4

Angst music video - doggie spotting

...some more doggie spottings in the Angst video

Safe in Paul's lap

See the full post

180 notes - Posted April 29, 2022

#3

Deutschland photobook...

Well if we started sharing...i would like to add some of my faves..

See the full post

197 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

#2

Flake's podcast - Gay and lesbian

podcast 2022-09-13, playlist of the songs

The biggest force in life and the only one Flake respects (apart from his wife) is Nature. And the biggest drive in Nature is Sex, big parts of life are about sex, thinking about sex, sex to reproduce, and to prevent to many people being born, Nature also created same-sex so it's completely natural for a man to love a man and woman to love a woman. That is the intro to this podcast, and Flake plays songs about, or by, gay or lesbian artists, some of whom are well known to be gay, some who had to hide it for a long time (and some, to be honest, i think Flake is 'outing' without really knowing 🍀 but as he sees homosexuality as something completely normal, he doesn't have a problem with that).

As a sidenote he also mentions some of his favorite things:

author: Kurt Vonnegut (0h29)

fictional character: Kilgore Trout

movie: Brokeback Mountain (0h48)

saying: 'Der Spaß ist kurz, ein Leben lang' (0h58, from the song Kribbel Krabbel by Ton Steine Scherben) (meaning something like 'Fun only lasts a short time, for an entire life'

composer: Chopin (1h53), but eventually he heard so much of it thathis interest diminshed a bit, Flake compares this how Modern Talking music, that was also played so much..."Paul our guitarist" said about that "It is good because otherwise there wouldn't be millions of people listening to it", but Flake doesn't agree, it's not his cup of tea, no matter how many listeners they have)

painter: Gauguin (1h53)

Completely fitting in the theme at 1h40 Flake plays the Rammstein song 'Mann gegen Mann' which to the band is called 'Schwuler' (but their Swedish producer Mann gegen Mann (Man against man) sounded better, Flake thinks it should at least have been Mann mit Mann (Man with man)), the songtitle comes from the Family Values Tour in the US which Rammstein did with a.o. Korn, Korn had a song 'Faget', and Rammstein told them it meant 'Schwuler' in German. They heard it so often at the tour that they made a song about it.

But the funnest anecdote (especially for the fanfic-inclined among us) is at 1h02, where Flake talks about when Rammstein records an album, they retreat to a studio and for three weeks they do everything together: make music, eat together, sit down after work, watch tv, and they all get really familiar. When hanging out together they regularly drop a theme and talk about each one's experience with it, often it turns out that a theme that one thought they had only experienced themselves, others know about as well. Well, one night the topic 'Homo erotic experience' was brought to the table, and as it turned out, the entire band had their experience with that...either going home with someone after a party , or when they were at school with a friend... ❤️ Most people have both sides in them, sometimes inclined a bit more to one side, sometimes to the other, and Flake also occassionally is attracted, to a guy, for instance in a movie.

He knows what it's like to get a warm feeling in his heart ❤️

PS. because of that anecdote, I'm not going to complain that he completely fails to acknowledge Adam Lambert is singing in Queen 😄 and that he isn't playing Freddie Mercury's boyfriend in the 'Bohemian Rhapsody' movie (or maybe i am in the wrong there 😊)

more takes on Flake's podcasts

238 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

found on IG Lifad_ukraine

this is hilarious, Till and Flake having a fight in the fans autographbook, and Paul adding a smiley 😁

253 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

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