#but like god i dont wanna move lol. i was gonna take a shower & everything

[summer-horror-party]

lolll awesome for a day ive been looking forward to to start off pretty annoyingly

[i-cant-sing]

How would (Yanderes of your choice) react to a pregnant darling? Like the second she tells him she’s preggers, how would they react?

Yanderes x pregnant darling

Mmmhh, I'll be doing Todoroki Clan, Overhaul, Bakugo Clan, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Todoroki Clan:

Okay, so the clan finds out you're pregnant, perhaps due to a fling or something, just kids being dumb and all. The first thing they do is calm you down. Obviously, they are all very disappointed in you- but with the way you're sobbing, its clear that you're very sorry as well.

Whether you want to keep the baby or abort it, the family will 100% support you. Either way, Dabi is going to kill whoever knocked you up. Sorry, thats non-negotiable.

They are all constantly hovering over you. Rei is always making you nutritious food, Fuyumi is applying stretch mark creams and helping you to the bath, Shotou is always right by your side, either to help you walk or give your sore feet massages. Natsuo is making sure that you're eating all your vitamins, checking if you have bleeding gums or any nutritional deficiencies. Rei and Natsuo always accompany you to your doctor appointments, making copies of your tests and prescriptions.

Enji is keeping up with all your cravings, no matter how weird. You're craving ice chips? Alright. You want ice cream at 3 am? The fridge is stocked with your favs. Oh no, you want soft serve? Its okay, princess, I'll drive us there. I'm sure they'll open the store for the no. 1 hero.

Dabi is surprisingly very understanding. He's not reacting badly to any of your mood swings. If you're mad at him, he won't do anything to infuriate you anymore. If you're crying because you can't get off the floor on your own, Dabi will calmly pick you up and take you to your bed. He knows stress is not good for the baby, and you're also a baby in his eyes, so he'll be uncharacteristically sweet and patient.

I can also see Enji giving you his card so that you can shop for the baby, but the rest of the fam just push you into bed and huddle up close to you as they all look at the laptop with you, doing online shopping. You will have to sneak in a Endeavour onesie since your brothers keep on removing the item from the basket.

Yandere Kai Chisaki:

When he finds out you're pregnant with his baby, he's quiet. There are million things running through his mind. On one hand, having a baby will have you more bound to him, you'll fall into Stockholm syndrome faster. On the other hand, he's possessive. He doesn't want to share you with anyone. But you seem to want it, and should you ever return to your hysterical ways and run away from him, he could use the baby to against you.

Oh man, Kai is not only getting the best OB/GYN for you, he's doing extra check ups on you too. We already know he's gonna have a whole medical room for you, fully equipped with the latest technology. He doesn't trust you when you say you're fine. He's there with you throughout the whole process, and he has his men monitoring you when he's busy.

Oh and when it times when you can find the baby's gender, if you say you dont wanna know and want it to be a surprise, thats fine. But he's going to find the gender, he just won't tell you about it. He needs to be mentally prepared.

Kai will cater to all your needs. He will help you bathe, dress, watch you swallow your vitamins. Whatever cravings you have, he will provide for you, but to an extent where its not harmful. Like you can have sweets, but not too many.

He will talk to you even in a more patronising tone than before, bending down to your height so that he's eye level with you, and then he explains why you can or can't do certain things.

Knows your hormones are going crazy, so he won't react when you yell or cry, just waits for you to calm down so that he can take care of you again.

Likes to rub your belly, not because he cares about the baby, but because it eases your pain (also becausehe wants to near you). He will absolutely rub your sore muscles and will even let you take walks in the garden, with him accompanying you of course.

He's just really sweet to you. Well, sweeter than before.

Yandere Bakugou (+ clan):

Oh so you're pregnant with a Bakugou? The happiest day of his life! No, abortion is not an option unless its endangering your life. I can see him wrapping his arms around you and spinning you around, hes over the moon! He's going to wipe your tears away and wash away any fears you have about starting a family. Katsuki tells you he will support you 100% and to hell with your family if they disown you for it. He's going to take care of everything, just be with him.

First things first, he's gonna propose and marry you. Next thing, you're gonna have to leave your job or put your studies/career goals on hold; you're pregnant with his offspring- he's not allowing you to put yourself in danger like that.

He is up in an instant when something is wrong, always worrying over you whenever you hiss or whimper in pain. If you listened to him, Bakugou would always be taking you to the hospital for anything. Luckily, you didn't.

Considering that you're both still young, and Bakugou is focusing on becoming the no.1 hero, I imagine you move in with his parents, or at least somewhere close to them, so that they're always able to pop in and check in on you. Mitsuki is taking your measurements (that change as your bump grows) so that she's making maternity clothes, made specially for your needs and requirements. And not to mention the cutest clothes she makes for the newest addition for the family.

Masaru will be taking care of all your cravings, and is unsurprised when you want spicy food (but makes sure its not hot enough to give you an ulcer lol). Tells you all the stories about Mitsuki when she was pregnant. And then they both show you Katsuki's baby pictures and all the embarrassing stories.

And when Bakugou returns home, he ushers you to lay down on the couch so that he can talk to the baby. Scolding the fetus for giving its mother a hard time, before breaking out in a grin when the baby kicks back.

Bakugou definitely loves to take you on late night drives, adoring the way your eyes take in the city lights. He lets you play your favourite music and buys you your favourite foods, not once complaining about your mood swings or anything.

Yandere Ushijima Wakatoshi:

He's all smiles. Gentle, soft smiles.

So happy he's going to be dad, and even happier that you're his baby mama. He's going to hug you and kiss you so sweetly, before pulling you to his chest as he tells you how happy he is. He'll tell you that he'll take care if everything, he'll provide for you and the baby. You just be his good little housewife.

Wakatoshi will wake up before you so that he can appreciate the way you look when the sun rays illuminate your face. He'll be rubbing his hand over your bump anytime he can, always kissing it before showering you in affection.

I can see him waking up every time you have morning sickness, pulling your hair back and patting your back as you puke.

Very hesitantly buys you the belly pillow for pregnant women, but he knows that he cant be there for you all the time because of his matches. But don't you dare use the pillow when he's around. He gets jealous.

Loves, LOVES taking baths with you. He settles you in the bathtub very gently, before taking his place behind you, his strong muscular thighs trapping you. He carefully washes you, humming in content as you lean back against his chest and cup the soapy, scented water over your belly, the bump glistening.

Big, protective himbo will be doing as many house chores as he can, you just need to cook him some food and rest. I can just see him sneaking up on you and pulling you to him or into his lap, kissing your earlobe, while his big, warm hands rub your belly, whispering in your ear how beautiful you look and how he lucky he is to have you.

So happy he baby trapped you💖

God, I love them all so much. Now, this is just like off the top of my head, but I wouldn't mind going in details if someone were to ask for one of my babies *coughs* Bakugo and Todo Clan *coughs* also *coughs* love Ushijima *coughs*

[arumin-arureruto]

Honeytea PT 2

Kyoya x fem reader and Hikaru x fem reader, Kyoya angst, Hikaru slowburn.

Warnings: none

word count: 1.7k

songs to listen to while reading:

What Am I by Why Dont We

Greek God by Conan Gray

hikaru’s outfit:

Reader’s outfit (your outfit can be whatever you want this is just what I had in mind while writing <3):

Cafe Hikaru and reader are at:

you woke up with the sun shining on your eyes, reaching out to feel the spot where your husband had been sleeping cold and empty, he had already left for work. Last night was emotionally exhausting, you had a fight with Kyoya and called Hikaru while your emotions were running high, even though you woke up feeling calmer it would still be nice to see him. You decided to get up and check your phone to see if you were still on for today, there were 6 unread messages from Hikaru.

“checking if ur okay”

“meet me tomorrow at 12pm for lunch at that cafe near my house, the one Honey got banned from”

“btw how the fuck do you manage to get banned from a restaurant for eating too much cake”

*picture of a single spoon inside a sink* “lol me”

“I should probably go to bed now goodnight”

He hasn’t changed a bit since high school, that’s what was so comforting to you about Hikaru. He took you back to a time where everything was much more simpler, lazy afternoons on the grass with the host club, drinking tea by the window in music room 3 with Kyoya, study sessions with Mori and Honey, getting into all sorts of mischief with Hikaru and Kauro, quietly reading with Haruhi, piano lessons from Tamaki…

All those memories started playing back in your mind and you started to feel all warm inside, you really didn’t know how good you had it. It’s not that you weren’t happy, you were married to the man you loved, you were one of the most respected and powerful women in society, what else could you ask for? But sometimes it felt like you were missing out on something, like your world could be so much more. When you mentioned this to Kyoya a couple months ago he suggested you try for children but you quickly shot down the idea, you were 23 and he was 24, having kids right now would be too big of a responsibility.

Shaking those thoughts from your head you checked the time on your phone, 10am. You still had 2hours before you had to meet Hikaru so going back to sleep was a tempting offer, but considering the cafe was almost 30 minutes away and you got easily distracted while getting ready it would be wiser to start picking out some clothes and getting in the shower. There was about 45 minutes before a maid was supposed to come in and clean your room so you figured that should be enough time to take a quick shower, you could just ask them to wait till you were done but you always felt awkward doing so.

After zoning out for a minute you headed for the shower, got undressed, put your hair up and turned on the hot water, you already washed your hair yesterday so there was no point in washing it again. You had always loved showers, the feeling of the warm water on your skin, the sound of the water dripping on the floor and the smell of all your products were enough to wash all your problems away. After about 25 minutes in the shower you turned the water off and stepped out, already missing the warmth of the water. After quickly drying yourself off with a towel you started massaging some lotion into your skin, first your arms and then your legs, this was your favorite part of your routine. When you felt that you had enough lotion on already you put on a robe, walked out of the bathroom and towards your walk in closet. It was september so the weather was still warm, today would be a simple dress day, or as simple as you could. Downside of being married to Kyoya Ootori: having to keep up appearances ALWAYS. After picking out a dress it was time for shoes, you gravitated towards a gorgeous pair of open toed gold heels that would’ve gone really well with your dress, but your legs were still slightly sore from last night so sandals it is.

After scrutinizing every part of your outfit and make up, which in the end you decided to go with a simple eyeliner, mascara and gloss, it was already 11:15. You grabbed your purse and asked someone to bring the car around. You hurriedly walked down the large staircase, excitement clear in your step, you got inside the car and gave a quick hello to the driver.

“Good morning Mrs Ootori, where to?”

“Morning Ryuzaki, Honeytea Cafe.”

“Understood ma’am.”

After giving your instructions you  pressed the button to lift the divider between the driver and the backseat, needing to be alone. You hadn’t seen Hikaru in person since your wedding reception, you talked on the phone occasionally but always for less than 2 minutes, this was the first time in months you would be in the same room again. Was it gonna be awkward? I mean you did call him yesterday late at night crying so what if he thought you were weird? No, no, this was Hikaru, your best friend since your first year of high school, everything was gonna be fine.

The 30 minute ride felt like it went by in less than 15, After getting to the cafe you told Ryuzaki to go back home and that you would call when you were done, since you didn’t know how long you would take. 11: 52pm, 8 minutes till you were supposed to meet Hikaru, meaning you had 8 minutes to get your act together.

You stepped into the cafe and scanned the place, 6 years and nothing had changed. Still the same old tall bookshelves lined the walls. The same paintings on the walls, and just like you remembered, peace and quiet. Since the cafe was a bit old fashioned it tended to attract an older crowd, old people just trying to enjoy their coffee and adults in their 30s that wanted a quiet place to work. While you continued to examine the room, lost in your own world, you felt a pair of slender hands on your shoulders and heard a familiar voice coming from behind you.

“Taking a trip down memory lane while blocking the way huh? Honestly y/n I thought commoners taught their children better manners.”

At first you were startled but then you quickly turned around to face the voice and there he was. Tall, mischievous smile and wild hair, Hikaru Hitachiin in the flesh. “Hikaru I-” you hugged him before you could even finish your sentence. You stood there with your arms wrapped around his neck in silence for a couple more seconds.

“y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re still blocking the way.”

Oh right.

Behind you 2 old ladies stood with unpleasant expressions on their faces, you both moved out of the way to let the ladies through, they walked past you and muttered something about today’s youth having no respect for their elders. You stood there slightly embarrassed, heat rising to your cheeks while Hikaru looked like he might burst out laughing.

You decide to grab a table at the very back of the cafe, away from everyone else. After you sit down Hikaru strikes a conversation. “Haven’t seen you in a year y/n, how’s married life been treating you?” He propped up his elbow and leaned his head on his hand, keeping his eyes focused on you.

Damn so we’re already on that topic.

“We’ve had our ups and downs, what about you? How are you and Kaoru doing?” Hopefully he won't bring up your phone call from yesterday. “We’re doing pretty good, Kaoru actually started seeing someone a couple months ago. Cute boy he met at an art gallery.” You could hear the tiniest hint of jealousy in the last part, but overall Hikaru sounded happy for his brother. “Oh he did? That’s cool” you stay silent for a couple seconds before proceeding with what you were saying. “And how do you feel about Kaoru seeing someone?” Hikaru’s eyes shifted from you to the table and kept them focused there. “In the beginning it was weird, I hated the idea of having to share him with someone else but now, I see how happy he is with Evan and that’s all that matters to me.” He looked up from the table to look at you and smile, then he spoke again but this time in a more playful tone. “So are we eating or what? Man were you seriously gonna let me starve? Typical Ootori.” That comment made you laugh, you really did miss him.

You both ordered and paid separately, since you knew you would argue over who would pay the bill. After you both received your food you sat down to eat, while you ate you reminisced about the past and talked about all the trouble you used to get into back in the day.

“No no, you were the one that tricked Tamaki into dressing up as Haruhi to fool the doctors during the physical exam that one time.” He laughed and pointed at you with a piece of bread. “Whaaaaat? Me? I would never, I was just an innocent bystander” you defended yourself while also laughing, then you remembered something. “No but for real that one wasn’t my idea, actually Kyoya came up with it.” Hikaru stopped laughing but still had a smile on his face, he then asked you a question.

“So Kyoya…” There was a pause before he spoke again.

“You mentioned you have your ups and downs, I’m guessing yesterday was a down?”

The food that was in your throat had trouble going down, you tried to quickly swallow and answer Hikaru’s question. “Yesterday was definitely not one of our best days” You let out a nervous laugh. Before you could elaborate a middle aged man came up to your table and asked if he could borrow one of your chairs for his daughter, seeing that you were both already finished with your food you told him he could have the chairs and got up to leave.

As you were walking out of the coffee shop Hikaru tapped your shoulder.

“Hey my house is just a 5 minute drive from here, we could go there if you wanna talk more in private.”

[ellana-ravenwood]

Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader

Please read this intro, thank you very much :  

So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. I’m super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...i’d appreciate the hell out of you <3.  So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope you’ll like it :

Also, since Tumblr’s new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DON’T really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

Ok. So. Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of “To-Kill-Ya” in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it. 

You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now. 

“Cheers”, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice. 

Salt. 

Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross. 

Tequila. 

More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch. 

Lemon. 

The last of the Wincing. 

You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash and…miss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly can’t bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again. 

Damn. This was good. 

Well, actually, it was disgusting. 

You didn’t like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didn’t make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever. 

You really didn’t like salt, tequila, or lemon. 

But it was still good. 

Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into “haze land”, and forget about your worries. 

Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas “end of the year” party from you work you invited him to…You gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart. 

It wasn’t your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasn’t your thing either to wallow because of a man…But you genuinely thought he was “the one” (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was). 

He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you. 

If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldn’t trust anyone ? 

Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots. 

You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob when…

There’s very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds. 

An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldn’t magically be sober, but you’d get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute. 

And this event, for you, came at the perfect time. 

Right when you were entering your “sad drunk” phase, which was between the “lol alcohol does NOTHING to me” phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the “dancing on the bar’s counter” phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a bar’s counter and that your name was suddenly “Britney”).

Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell “whyyyyyyy ?!” to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen). 

Years later, looking back on that particular event, you’ll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence. 

You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the “sad phase” when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment. 

Broken glass. 

It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, and…there he was. 

It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guy…well that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude. 

There was glass everywhere. 

How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune. 

You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ? 

You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities were…interesting. 

You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it. 

A guy. 

Not just any guy. 

You saw that guy before. 

He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled with…RED HOOD !! 

“Thick thighs”, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities). 

The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not “drunk” anymore. 

The third thing that came to your mind was…Is he still alive ? 

No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living room’s floor, not moving. 

“…Outch.” 

Oh. He spoke. 

So he ain’t dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you don’t need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something. 

Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine. 

A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon. 

Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks. 

Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldn’t really recall that fact now. But, yeah…it was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for days…

This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.

Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the “sad phase”. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road. 

The : “Cool, I got a drinking buddy phase”. Well, taking for granted he didn’t have any internal bleeding and wouldn’t die while biting into a lemon wedge. 

“Tough day ?” 

You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask so…kinda hard to tell). 

************

Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream. 

He knows, because it’s not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared. 

And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : “tough day” ?  

Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet. 

Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. He’d go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him there…Though today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself. 

Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be. 

Tim and Damian were still after the “Illusive Blue Man” that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldn’t quite explain…Oh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say “I fought with a few guys last night” without more explanation. 

But he couldn’t help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too tempting…But for now, this wasn’t the issue. Nope. 

He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasn’t really hurt (thanks “dad” for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girl’s house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself). 

Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way and…somehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ? 

“Salt”, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago. 

“Tequila”, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesn’t even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didn’t even seem to have clean…He drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she can’t see his face, and “bottom’s up”. 

“Lemon !” she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothers…

Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage. 

There’s a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says : 

“Wow.” 

************

So. This was surreal. 

Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. With…Red Hood. 

One of Gotham’s night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well. 

And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if he’d been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened. 

“And then he slept with her !” you say angrily. 

“Nooooooo !?!” 

“Yes, he did ! He slept with…with…what was her name…”

“Nicole. From accounting.” 

“Right, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always just…counts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!” 

“What an ass.” 

“Right ?! Oh but he had such a good ass though…Quite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.” 

“So, not such a good ass in the end then ?” 

“I guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.” 

Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice is…nice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping : 

“And it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.” 

It works. He snorts and it’s very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily. 

For a second, he’s lost in that smile of yours, and there’s a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break : 

“Ok. So now, he’s not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was before…” 

Jason smiles and damn. He’s hot. 

Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that you’d black out or something, so you wouldn’t remember his face (or he just didn’t care). 

In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kid…Which wasn’t really a big help right ? 

Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldn’t piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldn’t know in the end anyway…Makes perfect sense right ?

What you knew was : he’s hot. 

This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldn’t explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch.  It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? You’ve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines ! 

But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up. 

You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someone’s home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait but…in your guts…it’s not like with your ex. 

You don’t think he’s a nice guy. You know he is. 

************

There’s a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened. 

Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasn’t sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him. 

But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didn’t like it because…why were you frowning ? 

He tries to lighten up the mood and says : 

“Well here you go. See, you didn’t loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Can’t work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.”  

Your guard is up, but you can’t help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weird…. 

Besides, no harm in indulging this, because you’re pretty sure it’ll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say : 

“Well…He never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.” 

“Well, here’s a point to take off of his “perfectness”. Doesn’t get pop culture references. Deal breaker.” 

“Yeah…Yeah you’re right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.” 

“Ashamed of his girlfriend, doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, right ?” 

“Yeah. It doesn’t. Maybe he wasn’t such a perfect gentleman…He also used to not want to go out with me if I didn’t wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.” 

“What you mean, he never just went out with you ?” 

“We only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home though…” 

“Well goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.” 

“That was kinda douchey…I never cared what he looked like.” 

And it’s true. For you, physical appearance wasn’t everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said. 

And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe. 

You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for you…So it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didn’t need make-up to be beautiful. 

Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearances…Uh. Interesting. You never realized that before. 

You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. You’re slowly realizing maybe you didn’t just lost “the one”. The vigilante says : 

“Ok, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesn’t get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with you…” 

“He did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.”

“Yeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldn’t feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think it’s unfunny…But embarrassed ? No.” 

“I guess…I never thought about it.” 

“Well let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Let’s not forget he cheated as well. Like, that’s not something good people do. Especially not with…Nicole from accounting.” 

“Nicole from accounting…Yeah. They’re together now though.” 

“So ? He should’ve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. That’s the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know what’s right or wrong.” 

“I heard you kill criminals.” 

“Used to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. I’ll tell you one day if you wanna. It’s a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And I’m telling you that because I’m drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I don’t actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I don’t get paid or anything…” 

Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim it’s because of the alcohol he’s saying all this, he realizes maybe there’s something else making him want to talk. 

You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon.  Who didn’t freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots. 

Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy to…basically any problems in life, was “salt, tequila, lemon”. 

“She was a wise woman.” 

He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about. 

“Who ?” 

“Your grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t know, I never met her. She died before I was born.” 

“Well what she passed on to your parents is great.” 

“What ?”

“Well, that “salt, tequila and lemon” thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandma’s advice. Right ?” 

“…Nah. It’s an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say “like my grandma said, ain’t no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want to”, and then people are just like “oh yeah, cool”, because when you say the word “grandma”, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?” 

Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you weren’t dressed up ?! 

You currently wore “Hello Kitty” pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.

“Why are you so nice ?” 

Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesn’t register it and just says : “ugh ?” 

“To me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and you’re too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?” 

Jason hiccups slightly, and says : 

“No, I’m not nice to any girl I met. I’m actually usually kind of a jerk, too “brutally honest”. But you…I don’t know. You give me good feelings. Oh and here’s to add on his flaws list. “Coward”. Can’t even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.” 

It’s probably the fact that he said “you give me good feelings” that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things. 

“My heart wasn’t broken.”

It’s a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. You…are not heartbroken. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together. 

He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, and…You were pretty sure you’d still be friend. Because he really was a great guy. 

He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy. 

He was just…not your great guy. Not anymore at least. 

And you realized, there, quite drunk, that…It was ok.  

Your heart wasn’t broken.  

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? …Maybe you weren’t completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasn’t love…

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

“My heart isn’t broken.” 

You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot. 

Because like your grandma would say : “When you make great discovery about yourself…Salt, tequila, lemon”. 

************

It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you weren’t in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didn’t come from nowhere. 

Nope. 

But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasn’t broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you weren’t actually in love. 

Hell, you didn’t even know yourself you weren’t that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation. 

Because, and this wasn’t the alcohol speaking…You felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not only…Nope. 

Nope. Not because of this. 

But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the window…he was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shot…

Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didn’t have an easy life…and yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didn’t even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you. 

He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldn’t trust anyone at that time…You oddly felt like he was ok. 

Like he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons. 

In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex. 

What did that say about you uh ? …That was pretty pathetic…

************

Jason didn’t think that you were pathetic at all. 

On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you. 

And though he didn’t know at first why, now he was sure of it. 

It’s because you didn’t freak out. And something told him it wasn’t only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk people’s home before…none reacted like you). 

Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking. 

He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened. 

You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons. 

And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyes’ greatest pleasure…mm mm mm those muscles). 

Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong. 

For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk. 

You were just…Special. 

************

It was surreal. The all thing. 

What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinking…ended up changing your life. 

And no one could convince you that it wasn’t Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didn’t buy that “fighting super-villains thing” at all) ?

What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have stayed. 

He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you but…You wouldn’t have answered. In your “sad phase”, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk you’d just have, would never have happened. 

But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the “sad phase”. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening. 

You weren’t wallowing anymore, you were ranting. 

Sharing your anger and frustration. 

And he helped you realize that your ex wasn’t that perfect…That maybe it was just not meant to be…After all, he cheated on you. 

Uh. What a shame. You didn’t even know his name…”Red Hood”…

You wished you knew his name. 

************

The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone. 

There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery store’s stock of lemons. 

Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go. 

He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued. 

You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop culture… 

But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didn’t hint either at ever coming back to see you again. 

And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that you’ll never see again. 

A genuine friend that you didn’t even know a few hours before. 

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not. 

And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your life…At least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasn’t that.

Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldn’t possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting. 

Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Right. 

Salt, tequila, lemon…

But the tequila is all gone. 

“I’ll send someone to fix that window…Sorry again about that. …Bye.” are his last words, and then he’s out. 

And the tequila is all gone. 

************

… 

…

…

…

Days pass by in a blur. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Ugh. But you don’t want to this time. You don’t want to get drunk to forget. 

You don’t want to forget him. And you know it’s ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didn’t even know the name of. 

This entire night was weird anyway. 

Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ? 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

That would be a good idea to do this right now, because man…your heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you can’t resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead you…

*Knock knock knock*. 

Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in Gotham…You peep into the eyehole and…

WHAT ?! 

You open your door quickly, and… 

“Told you I’d send someone to fix your window.” 

It’s him. It’s Red hood. But in…civilian clothes. 

His ass doesn’t look flat in jeans. 

He’s holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and there’s a toolbox at his feet. 

“Yeah, you did…come in.” 

************

Jason Todd. 

That’s his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. That supposedly died…ten years ago. 

And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little “killing criminals” thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together. 

Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne. 

Wow. Can’t believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. He’s got the motive, the means, the excuses…It’s so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized. 

Jason Todd. 

Now you know his name. 

And he’s fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).

Um. To add to the “perfect man” list : “Handy”. 

Jason Todd.  

He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends. 

It fits. It clicks. It’s natural. You and him, him and you. 

Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best. 

Jason. Todd. 

He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says : 

“Ya know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what we’re doing and where it’s going…Well it’s still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…” 

You smile. 

Yeah. You don’t know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you. 

And in such a short span of time. And you know you’re not mistaking. It’s a feeling too strong to be a mistake. 

He came back to fix your window for god’s sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, well…let’s just say telling people his real name wasn’t really something he was used to. 

But it just works. It fits. It clicks. It’s not like with your ex, because you don’t think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you : 

(“…And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”) 

“Salt, tequila, and lemons.” 

______________________________________________

I’m so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Y’all were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I haven’t had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I won’t bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who don’t follow me can’t really find my stories anymore so...you’re a big help by spreading them. It’s always very encouraging. 

And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3. 

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

not quite a liveblog but a rewatch

logan’s exhausted “what are you talking about?” is just... Such An Mood

“dont act like that was an accident” and roman looks so delighted its adorable

“you know exactly why we’re not talking about it” and i KnowTM how this Patton thing gets resolved but he sounds so, so, small here and i Want! To! Hug! Him!

is it just me or when Patton suggest talking about the movie and virgil says “sure” does his voice have a bit of distortion? my headphones are Shit and im sitting across from my grandma lol

there was definitely distortion on “show up” that i missed the first time

patton’s body language on “it’s kinda hard to explain” pushes almost into virgil-territory and yet is still, intrinsically patton and im literally never going to get over this mans FUCKING RANGE

i still dont know if i like the song

“dont say juicy in this context” how much of virgil’s dark-side-life was just desperately trying to avoid this Garbage Boy Stinkman Belongs In The Toilet

again - I KNOW THE PATTON THING. but TELL me you dont want to give him a blanket and as many cookies as he wants the boy is p e t r i f i e d

“brave, handsome, unbeatable roman!” hey yeah royalitys canon great good talk

“... or a him problem” oh did a bitch SHIVER

“that... is something joan would do” im dead on the floor

“but are they opinions that matter???” virgil gets more salty the more freaked out he is and chaboy can RELATE

“you have a strong suit?” virgil is SO FUCKING PETTY in this its bringing genuine tears of pride to mine eyes

“...maybe” again! with patton sounding small and terrified and desperately upset im going to Fling Myself Into The Fucking Sun

“one of you is enough” im SORRY i know this video is supposed to be upsetting but i cant stop laughing

“that’s what repression is???” PaTtOn I wOuLd DiE fOr YoU

“You all are not listening to Thomas” Logan STARTED this lesson with a mic drop and We Stan

“i said. figuratively.” and the fucking ORCHESTRAL TRIPLETS IN THE BACK what a score tbh

“maybe you dont” and he somehow looks like... almost prim here, like one of the fucking pta moms that use to turn up their nose at my dyed hair its a very CreativiTwinsTM expression

“..so it is okay to jump out of a moving car?” sweet precious patton who i love please let me shower you in kisses you silly, silly man

“that was amazing logan :D” logicality - also canon! no one ships polyamsanders more than patton and you can take that to the BANK

“you used to really unsettle me” how much of virgil’s dark-side-life was living constantly petrified of his “friends”

“you wouldnt wanna forget everything you’ve just learned” im gonNa CRY LOGAN I LOVE YOU

 oh god here we go

“i should no better” fuck my life tbh

thomas’s EXPRESSION

and virgil looks like he’s braced for a blow and then he sees thomas’s face and he just shrugs and sinks out

defeated and resigned

just like im resigning from this mortal FUCKING coil

*sobbing* can i just hug everyone please? can i do that??? pretty please?????

[cheryllcher]

happy new (tears) year

welp the new year (and decade) is here, so i thought i write a little something, and why not a mishmash of angst (dont worry it’s barely there lol) and a big bunch of fluff it’s crazy. wanted to go for marichat but then this came to mid so yea :) anywayy hope u enjoy this lil short thing and happy new year!! :))

—-

The Dupain-Cheng household was colourful. No kidding, the house is just filled with multi-coloured fairy lights and glow sticks. New Year’s was just around the corner, and hour walk down the path of time and there it would be. And so, a party is held, to send off the current year and welcome the new one with family and friends.

A whole lot more people came then expected, humans interacting with other humans and laughing with even more humans. This didn’t deter Tom and Sabine though, they continued hosting the party with elegance. The more the merrier they always say. The table had a selection of food laid out on it, each item contributed by the different families that attended. Cider flowing, video games playing, faces smiling, the party was in full swing. A Dupain-Cheng celebration never fails to disappoint, this one included.

Marinette buzzed around the house, making sure all the guests are enjoying themselves, letting her parents relax with the other adults for a bit. Rose and Juleka were huddled by the warm fire munching on pastries, Kim and Alix were currently half-drunk from all the dares(the sober, responsible grown ups were not amused with the children with their underaged drinking *ahem* Roger *ahem*), and Nino and Alya were currently in the corner whispering among themselves suspiciously, which Marinette was sure she knew what it was about. The others were sitting on the ground cheering on a game of Mecha Strike.

Adrien-who was miraculously (pun not intended i swear) allowed to the party with Kagami (also a surprise)- was covered head to ankle with glow sticks. Seriously this guy went crazy he finished a whole box himself and that was like 50 sticks. He was currently conversing with Luka about Jagged Stone and the instruments they play. Kagami was sitting by the side clearly awkward and trying to camouflage with the wall behind her cuz ohmygod there are two hot guys in front of me. The pigtailed girl who was watching from afar deflated slightly at that due to how close her crush and one of her other friends were, wishing it was her who stood beside him instead. But she can’t. It was way too awkward and sort of tentioney to go there.

The clock sure ticks fast, as soon the long hand’s ran close to the 11 mark, indicating that it was slightly more than 5 minutes before the new decade began. (wow a new decade already. time really does fly :) ) Adrien and Kagami were left talking in a corner, seemingly getting closer by the second, Luka long since away from the conversation. Marinette’s heart couldn’t take it, her chest slowly constricting in on itself at the sight. So instead of being with everyone else for the countdown, she snuck up the stairs to her attic-turned-bedroom, before heading to the balcony. Uneasy thoughts swirled around her mind as she looked up at the barely there stars, mostly erased by light pollution from the city below.

Adrigami’s gonna be alive soon, well pretty much alive now, and Adrienette’s dead for good now. What will i do, Monsieur Stars, how will i ever move on?

Adrien and Marinette actually got together after the ‘just-a-friend-zoning’ shenanigans was over, pure sweet, gooey cheesiness around them. So their breakup came as a huge surprise to everyone, disappointing the Adrienette shippers around the city. It was mutual though, both of then clearly not ready to have a relationship in their lives. And they were still friends, hanging out with everyone together except alone with the other. But no matter how hard to tried, how long she took, she couldn’t get her ex and friend out of her head.

Tikki, who had been perched on her shoulder trying to offer comfort to her friend suddenly buzzed away, leaving Marinette conscious of her surroundings. She didn’t turn when the skylight on the floor of the balcony opened, and internally breathed out in relief. At least it’s not an akuma. She assumed it was Alya though, in her too sad to even acknowledge you fully mood, and started speaking to the presence behind her.

“Alya if you’re here to try to get me in on one of your ‘seduce Adrien and make him fall for me again’ plan, I’m not in. He’s clearly with Kagami.”

“Well, I’m not very sure I’m up for being seduced,” a chuckle followed, “but I am now very curious about this plan.”

A shriek nearly slipped out of Marinette’s lips if not for the fact that she placed her hand over her mouth, a silent scream the only thing that remained. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t blink, couldn’t move. Adrien was afraid he’d be seeing her eyeballs fall out, so he continued.

“Sorry for just coming out here, I saw you being sneaky and decided to follow.” Then he did that cure little thing were he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Oh god he was adorable.

“Wh-Wha...Aren’t you- gah?”

He heard the many questions in that unintelligible nonsense, understanding everything she was trying to put into words without success. He always did.

“I’m here because I want to talk to you. Yes,

I was with Kagami, and no, we aren’t a thing. I heard you talking to the stars young lady. I... don’t feel that way for her, so I had to be honest with her.” The teasing smile never left his face even if it got a touch shy and awkward.

Oh no I said my thoughts out loud.

“Yes, you did.”

Darn it!

“Anyway, I just wanted to try to confess about how I can’t move on no matter how hard I try and to get some kind of closure or something if you’ve managed to move on with life... but I see the feeling’s mutual?” Hope. Spilling out from his voice, so much.

“You’ve got a minute, hot stuff. Tell me what you wanna say before the year’s over and we’ll see where to go from there. I want to hear everything so speak.” Her confidence is somewhat there, something in her heart fighting it’s way up against the sadness from before. The young man gladly followed the demand.

“Marinette, I know we’ve parted ways thinking it’s for the best as we weren’t up for it, but I still think of you every moment, still falling deeper and deeper into your trap as each day passes. You’ve stolen my heart long ago and it’s so deep in your clutches I simply can’t get it back anymore.

“I want to treat you like the princess you deserve to be once more and make up for all the time we’ve lost. I want to hold you again, shower you with affection and gifts and love. I want to make you smile that smile that I miss so much. I want my best friend back.

“I’m ready now, and I’m not going to choose anyone else, because I can’t... So, Princess, if you are ready as well and are willing... Will you have me? Again?”

The countdown’s starting in the living room.

10! 9!

Her brain short circuited.

8! 7!

His doubts starts streaming in.

6! 5!

She nods her head quickly, tears slipping from her eyes. He laughs out his relief, tears leaking out of his eyes as well.

4! A step closer.

3! Heads tilting forward simultaneously.

2! Eyes fluttered close and breaths mingled

1! Happy New Year!

Lips pressed gently against lips as cheers erupted from downstairs, completely unaware of the sweet fluff happening upstairs. The bells of the Notre Dame rang loud and clear but were not heard by the two teenagers. It lasted for a minute, both parting in need of air.

“Happy New Year, Princess.”

“Happy New Year, my Prince.”

—-

Bonus:

“Geez, my cheese can’t cover up the sweetness here!” A cheese-loving cat kwami grumbled from a shelf in Marinette’s room.

“Well, I guess you wouldn’t want your own New Year’s kiss?” His counterpart asked slyly.

“Nonono, come here sugarcube. I need that kiss to survive the suffering until they figure out their identities.”

[irl-dogboy]

i have no friends to talk to so im gonna rant under the cut ignore this lmao

i dont feel comfortable anywhere. 

like.. i don’t have a bed i like to sleep in. it doesn’t have sheets on it. it’s an awful mattress, it sinks down to the point where i wake up and can’t move bc my back is fucked. i don’t have a dovet, i sleep under blankets fit for a sofa. i don’t have a space to call my own. my room looks like a storage room, because that’s what it is. i have speakers that i can’t use, i have an extra desk that my parents couldn’t afford to throw away. my cupboard is full of things that aren’t mine. i own my school uniform and like 3 outfits. i own one fucking pair of pants and they don’t! even fit me! i dont like asking for money for things like clothes and decor because the answer is always “we dont have enough money for luxuries! dont be selfish!” and i dont get it because both of my fucking parents have ipads and the newest fucking iphones. despite being the right age to get a job im not allowed to get one, im not allowed to open a paypal so i can maybe get a commission every so often. i dont even know why. they dont fucking tell me.

and like,, i dont have anywhere or anybody to talk to about this shit! school friends would never fucking understand because theyre all a bunch of rich kids who think of me as a joke. im a dumbass who isolates himself from his online friends so i cant just be like “lol we havent talked since i disappeared when i found out im going deaf help my life sucks” because who fucking DOES that? not me! my parents are procrastinating getting me a fucking psychologist for GOD KNOWS WHAT fucking reason, maybe they really do just think this is a phase. they refuse to talk about anything related to my transgenderism until it pushes their fucking political agenda or makes them LOOK GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mum, at home, behind closed doors: hey deadname

also my mum, arguing with people online: as a supportive parent of a transgender child blahblahblah

also my mum, to my school: yeah haha we’re getting there HE’s such a good BOY isnt that right NATE this has been hard on all of us but especially ME

i regret coming out so fucking much. if i could go back in time and tell myself anything it wouldnt be “do ur schoolwork” or “dont die” it would be “dont come out because every fucking aspect of your life is going to be so much fucking harder” and i get it! some of it is me being a lazy cunt! yea! but its also everybody else being a lazy cunt! my entire family? deadnaming for days! my parents? “we know you need therapy we’ll call them later” and then what do they do??? yeah not call them later. since i came out my previous psychologist DROPPED me and i get it but i NEVER talked about that shit and i wouldn’t talk about that shit bc i know shes not qualified to deal with that!! and i get it but fuck its so annoying and im weak and im a fucking asshole and i dont want to exist!!

i just dont get why my parents had me. like. my dads an alcoholic and a fucking coke addict, and yeah, he works 70 hours a week and supplies everything for our family, but hes also a fuckign criminal whos had me ASSAULTED before and thats a whole other fucking thing! and he’s trying to turn my sister and i against my mum and i DEFINITELY see why because she literally does nothing but smoke weed and do coke herself but fuck i am so tired of hearing about their shit all the fucking time! call me selfish, i would agree, but they blame me and my sister for all of their problems, and whenever me or my sister call them out on their shit they immediately go for the “we’re your PARENTS” or “im mentally ill and im an addict you know this” like yeah i do but i also know that YOU’RE NOT TRYING TO HELP YOURSELF DESPITE HAVING TWO KIDS THAT FUCKING DESPISE YOU

i just want a normal fucking family man. a normal life, really!! i want a dad that has some dumb manly hobby like woodwork or fishing and i wanna do lame things with him. i want a mum that i get along with. a sister that i fight with sometimes but its ok because im still there for her! protective big brother style! and i want them to be there for me and i want to feel safe in my own fucking house. i want a bed that i can sleep comfortably in. i dont wanna be who i am. i wanna be normal. i dont wanna have to deal with dysphoria and wanting to die every time i look in the mirror or shower or speak or do anything. friends that i feel like i could talk to. i would die just to be a cis girl or better a cis boy and just live my life without worrying about all of that shit. i want my depression to go away or take a fucking break or something. i hate it so much.

god this is long im so sorry for anybody who made the mistake of choosign to read this

[sunnysidewrites]

Neighbor!Woozi

based on this post hehehe

i just fed yall TWICE. in the span of just 2 DAYS!!! AND THEY’RE BOTH MORE OR LESS THE SAME LONG ASS LENGTH!!! yeah that’s right i went overboard again gtg

happy happy bday to the lovely admin bee of @mansaeboysbe you are such a beautiful person inside and out, and im incredibly proud to know someone like you :’))) i’ve already sent a bday message to you so im not tryna redo it LOL but just know that i love you a whole lot and i always will! 💗💗💗💗💓💓 (she’s also the same person who gave me those beautiful headers on my mlist so please give her tons of love <333) love you sm hub hope you have a wonderful and fantastic day!!!

*to all the mutuals with bdays that have either passed or are coming up, i love you all SO FREAKING MUCH so pls dont feel left out!! it just so happened that i wanted to write this au for a long time and i wanted to present it as a bday gift for this jihoon stan hehe but i rlly love each every single one of u ok babes? <333*

warnings: i feel like i dragged this on for too long but i hope it’s still cute :’)) also i put in a joke like twice LOL anyways lil wooz only gets tongue-tied around you so you become his muse for songs

You were looking for a place to stay in bc “I am a grown adult i am not living with yall anymore” you @ your parents

And they’re like lol ok Good Luck Kiddo

After a month and a half of deeeeep searching you finally find a reasonably priced place to live in

It’s quite a distance from your parents’ home but it’s the point of you moving out to begin with

On the move-in day, you’re carrying your boxes up to your new apartment complex and you hear some tunes drifting from your next door neighbor

And you’re like hey this is actually really good music but i’ve never heard of it

You shrug it off and continue settling in

Once you finished hauling your boxes, you were about to pass out on your couch

Ok you actually did pass out on your couch

But you had to unpack some necessities later that night for bathroom and bedroom purposes

All you had for dinner was pop in some instant ramen and call it a night. You then hopped in the shower and got ready for bed

The following morning it was primarily you unpacking and shifting around your furniture a little but it was challenging by yourself

You were making a good amount of noise and in the middle of the day you were met with a very loud knock on your door

And you were in the middle of unpacking your kitchenware so you were like oh shoot ahh i’ll be right there!!

Little did you know your next door neighbor wasn’t having any of it

Can’t I get some peace and quiet around here? He grumbled as he impatiently waited for you to open the door

I swear, I’m gonna tell them off they won’t even knOW what will hit--

You finally opened the door, and he’s like oh. My gosh.

You had a few pieces of hair sticking to your forehead and your hair was tied back in a messy bun

You were dressed in a faded coral tee underneath a pair of worn-out denim overalls with house slippers

Everything he planned to complain about suddenly vanished and his first thought was:

“Is that Pikachu on your front pocket?”

Apparently he said that aloud, which he didn’t register until he saw you giggling

“Yeah, it was a hand-me-down! Still cute, right?”

And he’s kinda still just staring at you with his mouth slightly agape

And you’re like oh right ahem did you need anything?

That’s when he notices the utter mess behind you: plastic covering still over some of your furniture, half-emptied boxes littered in almost every inch of the floor, etc.

And that’s when it hits him: all that noise was you unpacking

“O-oh yeah, I just,, wanted to let you know that it was getting a little loud since I live right next door”

He silently curses at himself like i almost went off at my new neighbor rip that wasn’t gonna be a good first impression

Luckily for him, you were chill about it and you’re like omg sorry!!! It’s a little tough doing this by myself, sorry for the ruckus

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “do you need any help?”

Jihoon internally: u doofus u have an album to produce whAT ARE U DOING

Jihoon externally: i can help you :))) no matter how smol i may be

But that internal reprimanding melted away when he saw your eyes light up in relief and you’re practically bouncing up and down

“Would you, really??? It would be great if I had another hand around! Oh, but you’re probably occupied doing something, right??” and you feel bad that a stranger, your next door neighbor nonetheless, was about to abandon his work just for you

A cute neighbor, at that

Jihoon is like ok this is your chance to get away and go back to work cmon man

But there’s just something about you that pulls him in magnetically and he finds himself trying to reason internally that it’ll just be for a “few moments”

Yyyeaaahhh that doesn’t happen lmao rip Jihoon’s songs

Jihoon is just like “nah it’s fine I can help out for a bit” and you’re like god bless this human being

When you open your door further to let him in, he’s like oh right btw I’m Jihoon

“I’m y/n! Sorry about the mess, I only got here yesterday evening”

He shakes his head and quirks up his lips ever so slightly, “i remember when my place looked like this too except replace this space with music production things”

And you’re like ooOOoOoOO you make songs??? That’s amazing!!

And that’s when you got the ball rolling!!!

“A few moments” turn into hours and the next thing you know it’s dinnertime

“Oh crap sorry for keeping you for this long,,, those songs won’t produce themselves, right? I think I can take it from here”

Admittedly, jihoon didn’t wanna leave just yet bc he actually enjoyed your company and it was nice taking a break from staring at his screen frustratedly

“Well, I don’t mind helping out. I could show you my work one day if you want”

And you’re like holy cheeseballs yES

He starts getting up and brushing off his clothes and you’re a little sad that he’s leaving and he kinda is too :(

“If you’re not too busy tomorrow, you’re welcome to help me out more! I mean, you already helped me a whole lot today, but there’s still some things left to do”

As much as his brain is telling him to NOT DO IT,,,,

He does it

Next thing you know, jihoon is at your door again around the same time and he has something in his hand

As you let him inside, you ask him what it is and he’s like ;))))

“It’s a CD that compiled just a few songs I thought you might like”

And you’re #shook bc did he really just have a CD like this out in the open or did he really take his time yesterday to transfer songs on it??

“Do you have a player or a laptop?”

“Yeah, my laptop is on my bed, you can bring it out here!” You shout over your shoulder as you arrange your things in the living room

Shortly afterwards he emerges from the hallway and he presses a few buttons and clicks here and there and beautiful melodies ring out from your speakers

You can’t help but stop rustling to take in the sweet tunes and you’re just like :’))) have i heard anything so beautiful??? :’)))

One of the songs sound vaguely familiar and you realize it’s what you heard when you first arrived here

“Did you actually produce this??? This sounds like an actual song you can hear on the radio”

And he’s like yep made by yours truly!!!

He was only using “yours truly” half-metaphorically if you know what I mean ;)))

You keep bouncing to all the catchy tunes and swaying to the soulful ones

And in all honesty, seeing your reactions makes Jihoon feel really warm and even a little proud bc it’s one of the biggest reasons why he loves his job so much

He makes eye contact with you and you’re like :D and he’s like ahEM COuGh coUGh i’m gonna dust this shelf over here

He suddenly stands up and busies himself and you’re like ???? okie dokie

He’s a real help around the place and you’re practically done settling in

As you survey your fresh living space, you can’t help but feel a little…. Disheartened?

Bc it was actually really fun to have him around even while he made blunt remarks about your taste of decorations

“This looks like something my five-year-old niece would have”

“For your information, I got that from a five-year-old!! It’s cute, alright!”

You spent the past three days with Jihoon unpacking and talking about whatever comes to mind

Jihoon is pretty devastated that he has to go back to his makeshift studio in his room as much as he will never admit it

He eventually leaves your place and the both of you are just sad little puppies

From then on, every time you pass by each other, you greet him with a friendly smile and wave and you never fail to make his heart skip several beats

You don’t talk as much as how you first started bc he’s gotten much busier trying to mass-produce a lot of songs

For some strange reason, every time you hear a melody coming from the other side of the walls, you feel like you’re somehow connected with him

Well, except for the muffled cursing LMAO

And sometimes you would also hear several male voices at once and you’re guessing they’re his friends or the people he’s working with on the song, but based on their friendly banter and the constant run-throughs, it’s probably both

You would hear the same melody play over and over again, and you’re guessing he’s stuck on a certain part of a song as he tries to recreate new melodies from that point on

“aaAAGHGHHHGGHHHH” *deep sigh* me trying to overcome writer’s block LMAO

This would happen for about half an hour and you can’t help but wanting to reach out to him, but you’re not exactly the most musically-inclined person sadly

When he ultimately calms down, he goes back to working on the song until he finally gets the results he desires

More often than not, you fall asleep from hearing the slow ballads he creates with a smile on your face

Lil Jihoon does try to visit you and vice versa!! He sometimes shows up with random food and more CDs and you’re wondering just how many songs has this guy produced in his lifetime??? He looks around the same age as you but he’s probably produced 26+ songs by the way he packs a decent amount on each CD

Usually his excuse to sharing a meal with you is that “the guys brought over too much and i have a ton of leftovers that i can’t finish by myself”

In reality, he stared at a restaurant’s menu and contemplated for about twenty minutes about what you would like. This guy’s got dedication not just for work

“Would it be weird if i get fried chicken?? Maybe just a bowl of noodles?? What if soup is better??? It would give weird vibes if i bought drinks too, right?? Or should i just go ahead and buy them???”

Regardless of what he buys, you’re eager to eat anything and everything with your fav neighbor *wink wonk*

You feel bad when he would do that though, so you try to return the favor every so often as well

One time, you ordered some takeout but the servings were waaaaay bigger than advertised and you’re like Idea!! Let’s head over next door!! So you took the plastic bags and put in some drinks before heading out the door

You knocked on the door and that was when you heard light chatter on the other side of the door

You’re like sldjfljds i hope im not interrupting anything aaa mAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEAVE--

Too late, someone’s voice rang out “I’ll get it!” and next thing you know, the door swings out to reveal a face you’ve never seen before

“Oh, hi!” He says a little surprisedly but with a smile nevertheless

“H-hi, umm,,,, is Jihoon there?”

The guy is nodding his head in the direction of the back hallway, “yeah, he’s in the bathroom” and that’s when he looks down at your hands and his eyes instantly light up

“Omg did you bring food?? You’re so thoughtful!! Come in, come in!!” and before you could protest he literally drags you in and you’re met with a bunch of other strangers who are staring back at you like :oooo????

“Who’s this?? Jihoon never mentioned someone coming over today,, AND YOU CAN’T JUST DRAG SOMEONE IN THIS ISN’T YOUR HOME”

And you’re like ya i didnt know either lmao

You’re awkwardly shifting on your feet and praying jihoon will pop up instantaneously bc you’re gonna melt in embarrassment

“I just wanted to give him some of this,” you hold up your hands to gesture your food, “since it’s too much for me to finish on my own”

“Oh that’s cool! Some of the other guys are actually out to get more lunch, but food goes out fast with all of us here,” another guy says as he pats your shoulder reassuringly. “Well, since you’re already here, you can join us!”

“I-it’s ok! I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything, I just wanted to deliver this,,, I’ll get going” and you’re about to zOOM outta there but the same guy who ushered you in is like nO DONT LEAVE

“We’re taking a lunch break, so it’s cool if you join us! I’m Soonyoung” and he’s like :DDD and you’re just like ,,,, what a hyper guy but i like him

Everyone goes around to introducing themselves

you do a headcount of 8 and you remember there’s more guys getting food for them,,,, holy heck how many people do they have???? You’re about to introduce yourself after them but then

“Soonyoung, who was at the door--” a familiar voice calls out in the hallway before he emerges

And jihoon is like dsljLSJDF what the hELL

“Y/N??? What are you doing here???” *side eyes soonyoung*

And everyone’s making eyes at each other like waIT WAIT THIS IS Y/N???

“Soonyoung dragged me inside”

“Gdi soonyoung, how many times do i have to tell you that you can’t go around dragging people to join us???”

This guy who you think is named Seokmin pipes up, “yeah he does this all the time at our workplace too. A lot of our coworkers always end up extending their stay for far too long” and you’re nodding slowly like yeahhh i can see that happening

Soonyoung’s eyes are widened and he turns to jihoon like “is this the y/n that inspired your recent so--”

And jihoon is quick to cover his mouth so his voice is all muffled

“aHahaAHHAH soonyoung’s always the joker, april fools day!!! Let’s set the table, the others should be back soon”

jihoon whispering to soonyoung: you better sleep with one eye open tonight boi

And you’re like uhh alrighty :)))???

About twenty minutes after you’ve arrived, there’s another knock on the door

Soonyoung is practically bouncing on his way to the door and you can hear more unknown voices

They’re filing in and they suddenly stop and look at you like wait what

Them: :o????

You: :))),,, what up

Jeonghan briefly explains the situation to the guy who came in the door first and you’re lowkey intimidated bc he seems to be eldest and looks like he could beat you up to a pulp

BOY WERE YOU WRONG

After jeonghan tells him, he breaks out into this gigantic, cute gummy smile like welcome!! :DD i’m seungcheol! And the other guys behind him follow suit

Jeonghan’s like “this is,, y/n” and everyone tries to be subtle and nods like they didn’t hear jihoon babble on and on about you for weeks

You: ok why do yall act all weird when my name is brought up whAT DID JIHOON TELL YOU

Them: i would tell you but i don’t wanna die just yet sorry dude

Jihoon, somewhere in the kitchen: SET! THE! TABLE!

You end up staying there for a pretty long time, bonding over the whole feast you have and it’s really lively and fun, not to mention super loud with 13 guys in the same room,,, but you’re genuinely having a good time

Jihoon would glance at you nervously occasionally to check on you if you’re uncomfortable in any way

Jeonghan, who’s sitting next to him, notices jihoon’s eyes are practically glued to you and he’s like “is this the part where you confess your undying love and propose”

And jihoon is like shUT UP NO WHAT this chicken tastes great *quickly chugs down water*

You look back at jihoon sometimes and see he looks flushed but it’s not like he’s drinking alcohol

“Jihoon are you feeling ok?? Your ears are bright red” which obviously makes them redder rip

“I-i’m fine,, wow is it hot in here maybe it’s just the spiciness of the chicken let’s open the windows”

You eventually leave them as much as they protest and even try to get Jihoon to guilt trip you (unsuccessfully)

“Don’t leave just yet y/n!! You should stay, right Jihoon???”

“Huh?? O-oh yeah, I mean, you can if you want,,,,, we kinda need to work though”

Everyone’s looking at jihoon like bro wTF are u kidding me

Rip reader i can feel your heart drop :’(((

You’re feeling slightly dejected but you nod understandingly. You’ve already stayed far longer than you anticipated anyways, and work comes first for Jihoon

“Yeah, I totally get it! Good luck on the album guys!” You put on your shoes and close the door

When they finally hear your own door close, they’re attacking jihoon like

“SO Y/N IS THE ONE BEHIND ALL YOUR SAPPY LOVE SONGS HUH!!!”

“I knew it, the lyrics just suddenly got cheesier -- there had to be someone behind all of that”

And jihoon is just praying you won’t hear what they’re saying like “SHUT UP THESE WALLS ARE THIN”

Back at your apartment, it suddenly feels much emptier and lonelier

“What am i doing,,, I just met the guys for like two hours???”

You sigh and you try to busy yourself doing other things but you hear a loud commotion on the other side of the walls with just a bunch of incoherent shouting

You smile and laugh to yourself when you think about how close they all are

Your smile slowly fades when you start wishing you wanna be close to Jihoon and you’re like snAP OUT OF IT!!!

A couple of weeks pass by uneventfully but you notice that Jihoon has gotten more reserved around you

It’s just him being bashful around you and he panics every time he sees you but obviously he doesn’t want you to know that

You’re standing at your little mini balcony and admiring your cute little cactus plants

Just as you start thinking about him and his wellbeing, you hear your name and you’re like wHO’S THERE

You look down and see Jihoon staring back at you and honestly he looks like he’s awestruck by your whole beauty bc seriously everything you wear always looks super good to him

[insert photo]

(also pretend he’s holding plastic bags)

He holds up his hands and you’re laughing bc you know exactly what that means

“Come on up!”

There’s a knock on your door promptly afterwards and what do you know!!! It’s the man himself!!!

It’s just funny how the both of you have this ongoing routine that you know what to expect

When you let him in, he places the bags on your table and quickly smiles to himself when he sees your laptop on your bed

You and Jihoon both mindlessly do your respective roles as usual

He slowly comes out in the living room with your laptop and he’s like “so the album is pretty much done now,,, i can’t release all of the songs yet but there’s one i want you to listen to. I’ll show you after we eat”

You’re like ooo im excited and you start catching up with him as you’re eating

You can’t contain your excitement any longer, so as soon as you eat the last bit of your food, you’re like “oKAY SHOW ME IT NOW” as you’re restlessly shifting on your legs

He nods and pulls up the media player on your laptop. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before pressing play

It’s a melody you’re quite acquaintanced with after hearing it countless times at night, the same tune that lulls you to sleep

You have high expectations for this song, and surely he surpasses them with flying colors

You’re enjoying the song and telling him “wow this is a really good song!” when suddenly some lyrics catch your attention

You hear something about messy hair pulled back, ruffled clothes, eating meals

And you’re like huh that sounds a lot like us haha is that supposed to be me??

Jihoon is avoiding eye contact with you and looking down at his fidgeting hands as the song progresses in its later verses

The lyrics talk about wanting to develop a deeper relationship, one where “it’s okay to tell me anything, your hardships and desires. I just want to see you smile” and you’re like wait,,,,

And one of the final lyrics says something about “i can’t help feeling like this, will you accept my hand?” and you’re like wait wait w a i t

The song comes to an end and silence fills the room

You’re not sure whether you should speak up first or wait for him, but either way you’re speechless and wouldn’t know what to say anyways

Jihoon clears his throat awkwardly and stumbles on his words poor bby

“S-so, yeah,,,, I’ve been working on this one the longest,,,, umm do you,,, like it?”

But you know better that he’s not just talking about the song

“Nah sorry man i’m not interested”

“O.”

April fools kiddos ofc you are

“....yeah. I do like it”

And he finally brings himself to look at you and he’s like !!!!! really????

“Wait, for real??? You actually like it???”

He’s pretty much paralyzed in shock and all he can do is watch your hand move towards his and hold it

“I like it a lot, Jihoon :)”

He blinks slowly and he can’t fight the grin that spreads on his face as he grips your hand back

“I’m accepting your hand now heehee ^^”

“Okay let’s not talk about that”

[onlyjihoons]

collegebf! daniel

a/n; happy birthday to kang choding hehe,, dedicated for my dearest mother @mongniel aurora until she disowned me so im trying to validate myself and also the loyal mom, ariane @deepdickdaniel

(repost bc the tags werent working)moodboard will be uploaded in a seperate post soon!

major: vetinary

minor: sports science

honestly took up vetinary bc of peter and rooney

so he could save on the fees to the vet

though he puts up a strong front he is often a kultz and actually really soft??

likes kids too and often swings by the early childhood department to visit minhyun

but let’s face it, animals like him better than the babies do

has a phobia of insects, especially flying ones

hence cant join practical lessons that involves specimen or live insects

his classmates would be kind enough to share with him the notes they took in class, but he would rather fail the topic than look at notes of insects

there was once his friend, ong threw a fake spider whilst daniel was studying and he screamed, pushing off the seemingly 1 ton table and chair away from him

ong was like,,, “are you sure he wants to be a vet next time”

despite his phobia of insects, he will actually grin and bear it when he needs to remove lice from animals

red bull and gummy addict, but more likely to die of shock from insects than diabetes

you will always spot a can of red bull on his lecture desk, and bet 10 bucks it has a love note attached to it from his admirers

fairly popular in school, because a soft, tall and cute guy doing vetinary?? he just screams boyfriend material in that white lab coat

and glasses slipping down his nosebridge just makes him look even more cuter

loves dancing as a hobby so he took it up as his minor

does b-boying and modern dance, looks equally hot in both

when the school hall is filled with girls, it is either some kpop boy band is performing, or daniel and his dance group, wanna one are performing

has so much charisma in his dancing, the idea of “cute daniel” gets thrown away

but a cute bunny most of the time who is addicted to gummies

surprisingly, hasn’t dated a lot as contrast to rumours that he’s a fuckboy

he really hates fucking around with others’ feelings… despite being choding(childish) around his hyungs of wanna one

meanwhile you,, a medicine student trying to keep up with the expectations of society

to be honest, you’re doing well

but not well enough to enter the top hospitals of seoul

and you’re here on scholarship anyway, might as well make use of it to make your parents proud

you’re your parents’ only child too, the pressure to do well is also quite high

you barely dated, the only time was in high school where you were a foolish teenager dating your best friend

you did have classmates confessing to you though, but everything stayed platonic

they weren’t upset surprisingly, they were more than willing to be friends with you too

eventually they found their other halves, but are still good friends with you

you were glad guys in your faculty were understanding,, unlike some that disliked you after that

you were friends with jaehwan, your old friend since the both of you were in diapers

he took up music, and ended up having lots of college scholarship offers

he eventually went to your college, despite it not one of his first few choices

“my friend would die a lonely virgin if i didnt help her with her love life”

“shut up jaehwan, 80% of your girlfriends broke up with you because your laugh is annoying”

“i dId NOT aSk for this sLaNdEr”

anyway, you had no idea how jaehwan ended up in wanna one(and daniel’s roomate), depite his “boom boom-bastic” dance skills

winkwonk

but that boy’s vocals can reach to the gods in heaven and appease them

he tried to matchmake you with all of the members of wanna one(excluding the minors of course) but it all failed because your friend was the worst at being discreet

the lords of venus eventually shined upon you when daniel was sent to your faculty for “emergency” treatment

“y/n,,, we need you to fix daniel, quick.” jaehwan said breathlessly over the phone

“if he needs a one night stand, im not an option, you know that, kim jaehwan.”

“no, that stupid boy accidentally cut himself while trying to disect a frog… and he’s bleeding a lot.”

“oh the flower boy from vetinary?” you nodded as you took your first aid kit, “but you aren’t even majoring in vetinary, jaehwan, what are you doing with daniel?”

“he called me to call you– ok nevermind, i’ll explain to you later, we’re on our way to your faculty. wait for us outside the medicine labs.”

“uh okay.”

so there you were, waiting outside the medicine labs with your first aid kit

seconds later, you saw 3 boys running towards you, one visibly taller than the other 2

you could finally make out their faces, it was jaehwan, daniel and another boy, wonwoo whom you were friends with due to jaehwan’s failed matchmaking

“y/n,, i think daniel is gonna suffer from anaemia…”

you tried to stifle your laughter as you examined the cardigan wrapped around daniel’s hand

“he won’t. don’t worry.” you assured them as you unraveled the cardigan, “let’s just hope it’s nothing too deep…”

when you revealed the wound, it was just a minor cut, though not as minor as a paper cut but definitely bleeding

you glared at jaehwan, who smiled sheepishly and resigned to his death after you treated daniel

you dressed the wound quickly, lips pursed in concentration

what you didnt notice was daniel’s gaze, which was on you the whole time

he had a weird feeling in his stomach, he wanted to use his other hand to run it through your hair

he tried to shake it off, but he got more and more attracted to you when he saw your eyes meeting his to make sure he isnt uncomfortable

this wasnt the first time daniel saw you though, he often saw you on jaehwan’s lockscreen, as your friend had set the selca both of you took as his lockscreen

as much as daniel wanted to meet you, he didn’t want to give you the wrong impression because of his rumours

and now he finally did, but he was pretty sure you’re gonna hate him for being over-reacting

“done,” you patted his dressing and pushed his hand towards him, “it’s nothing too deep, don’t worry. but make sure to take it off when you’re showering, if you need any help just give me a call.”

daniel shot you one of his signature eyesmiles, “thank you so much, i’m sorry i had to make you rush down for me…”

“no its fine! just call me whenever. i hope you get well soon.” you smiled, then tiptoed to daniel’s ear, “just don’t tell jaehwan though, he can be a little, nosey.”

you were lying if you said daniel wasn’t attractive and totally did not win you over with his eyesmile in the span of 3 seconds

“and kim jaehwan, you owe me a meal. for helping your friend and putting up with your drama.”

at this point, daniel was totally smitten

everyone could see it, even the members of wanna one started teasing him about it

“i can set you up with a date with y/n if you want–”

“no i dont like her peter and rooney are my girlfriends”

daniel totally did not ask almost everyone in his faculty for your number

when he finally had the guts to text you, he was all giddy when you replied, jumping up whenever he heard the personalized notification just for your contact

meanwhile, while you were talking to daniel, you really loved it when he talks about animals, it seemed like all time has stopped in the world and his passion for taking care of animals is just so attractive

and he didnt seem like the usual fuckboy everyone perceived him to be

one day, daniel asked you out for a pizza date, and you immediately agreed

because free pizza and a cute date, why not

the both of you ended up going to laundry pizza, just bc daniel said ioi went there to take their album jacket photos there LOL

but the pizza there was good so you weren’t complaining

daniel ended up paying for the both of you, after 15 minutes of rentless argument over who should pay

the both of you also went to the arcade, wasting your money on those claw machines

you didn’t get anything, but you had fun throwing airballs at the basketball machine thingy

daniel walked you back pretty early, because he knew you had a morning lecture the next morning

not gonna lie, you wanted to stay longer but daniel was not gonna have any of it

daniel walked you till your doorstep, and your hands were fumbling through your purse for your keys

looks like someone forgot their keys,,,

you laughed humourlessly as you tried to open the locked door, but only for daniel to giggle along with you

your roomate was out too, and she wouldn’t be back till the next morning

“i dont think its safe for you to be sleeping outside, why dont you stay over at my place?”

“im–”

“ok let’s go”

you didnt even say anything and here you are, at daniel’s dorm, unsure of what to do

just watching daniel hastily clean up his dorm is quite amusing

“jaehwan wont be back till really late, he has an event to attend to.” daniel smiled as he proceeeds to kick the sweet wrappers under the sofa, “i’m sorry you have to put up with this, y/n.”

“no, no, thank you for letting me stay here, or i’ll be freezing in the cold right now.” you shook your head, yawning

“do you want a change of clothes? i have a hoodie you can wear…hopefully”

you never knew you would be staying in daniel’s dorm, on his bed, in his hoodie

until today

you slept fairly well, with daniel’s scent invading all your senses

until you felt something on your foot

you woke up, scared

the thing kept probing at your feet, and soon it was licking it

you screamed, and soon enough daniel ran into his room to see what happned

“y-y/n?” he rubbed his eyes as he turned on the lights, “what happened?”

“s-something was at my foot”

daniel moved the sheets, and he found rooney peacefully sleeping on the foot of the bed

“i’m sorry, rooney always likes to invade the bed in the middle of the night,,, i should’ve told you earlier”

“it’s fine, i was just too shocked hahaha”

silence

“maybe i’ll sleep with you, so peter and rooney wont disturb us”

you stared at daniel, as he quickly waved his hands, “no, no, i wont do anything, i swear, you can end me if i do.”

neither of you could sleep, so daniel nudged you

“y/n… i know its weird to say this but,, i like you”

well that was really weird

“i don’t expect you to accept me and all but i just wanna let you know that i–”

you cut daniel off with a kiss, as he sneakily snaked his arms around your waist to bring you closer

after a good like, 20 seconds, you pulled away, “me, rejecting kang daniel?? no way.”

ever since the both of you started dating, jaehwan started to brag about himself, saying that the both of you were a couple thanks to him,,,

but would shut up immediately after he sees you in the vicinity because he would be running away from you

a very cute relationship, daniel would always wrap his arms around your shoulders and snuggle you close to him

instant ramen dates are a big thing and you always have to clean up after daniel

but he helps of course, after hearing you nag at him for the nth time

he would always make you a bento before your papers, with a note that says, “with this bento, you will do well! fighting! love, daniel”

and vice versa, you would bake him muffins too

sweetest boyfriend, but the type to say pick up lines to annoy the heck out of you

they arent even smooth, theyre hella bad

and yes, kang choding still exists

you have to physically stop him from buying/eating more gummies or his teeth would rot

since daniel is relatively bigger in size, you would always steal his clothes and he would always wonder how his clothes would mysteriously go missing

he would know the answer when he sees you the next morning

the whole campus ships the both of you sm

please love kang daniel

[gohyuck]

Sleepovers with NCT Dream

anon asked: Am I allowed to request sleepover/slumber parties with NCT Dream? Just somethin cute n fluffy

okay so i’m not sure if this is like each individual member or with the group as a whole so i did...both? 

uh for each of them the other members aren’t present because just...assume that the specific member kicked them out for the night or they dont wanna bother member/reader haha

under the cut

mark

“fight me mark lee”

you regret the words like...as soon as they leave you because the moment you finish your sentence you get a face full of pillow

youd forgotten your clothes in the excitement of being able to sleepover at your boyfriend’s so long story short you’re decked out in one of his thinner t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants

moments before disaster (aka The Pillow) struck you’d been chilling out on the couch and you both were pigging out just watching tv or something 

then mark decided to s t e a l a c h i p f r o m y o u r b o w l 

you couldn’t just TAKE THAT 

so yeah you mouth off and then get pillowed in the face and after the initial shock wears off you kinda just calmly get up and walk slowly towards the kitchen counter to put your food away so it doesnt spill

all the while mark is shaking in his boots the fear is BUILDING

because hes going over the scenarios of what you might do next in his head he doesnt notice you discretely picking up a pillow

he does feel it tho when you hit him upside the head with it

W A R ensues its like... Armageddon 

until you pin mark down because hes laughing way too hard to fight back

“cry uncle” “NEVER” tickles him once “uNCLE”

he calls for a truce and you give him one with a warning about stealing food and hes like ok fine ill get my own chips next time and you guys resume watching the movie

his arms around you and youre just using him as a headrest/backrest and its overall a really soft time tbh

mark is really comfortable tbh

and you guys have been dating for a while (dream’s parents) so it’s just like a normal date, practically

its just really chill like you guys dont do much other than marathon movies and pillow fight and pig out 

and make small talk 

and steal kisses

playing random games like ispy or something just seems like a mark thing

planning future hang outs and dates lol

“hey on our next date im taking you out to dinner” “and a movie” “you bet” “mark i was kiddi-” “its my treat”

it gets late fast though (time flies when you’re having fun) and you notice this and look over to say that maybe you guys should sleep only to find your bf knocked out on the other side of the couch

again

you cant help but smile at the sight

he’s so overworked, you don’t have the heart to wake him up

instead you turn off the tv, put up all the foodstuffs and clean the area quickly, put the pillows up and lay a pillow out on the ground by the couch and find a blanket and then turn off the lights before lying down

when mark wakes up the next morning he wakes up before you and sighs before stepping over you lightly to brush and stuff and to pour cereal for the two of you (hes not even going to TRY to cook)

once you wake up hes like “why didnt you wake me i wouldve taken the floor” and youre just like “yeah thats why i didnt wake you” and he just shakes his head because he cant argue with you and honestly hes

kinda touched, just a little

you have to leave all too soon but you dont go before getting a goodbye kiss and a promise to have another sleepover very soon

just....soft..soft times

renjun

board game central

hes just 

head in the game lolol (dont kill me for that joke)

monopoly? clue? sorry? you name it he’s got it like...this boy doesn’t play when it comes to board games

no pun intended

the first half of the night is just you guys playing random board games as best you can with just two people

and then he brings out the chess board

that’s when it gets bumpin tbh

by bumpin i mean you and your boyfriend nearly wring each others throats during the match...but with your minds...because neither of you are speaking you’re THAT concentrated

it’s.....2 hours long

and in the end you guys have to call a draw and like you sit back and just stare at each other blinking and eventually renjun speaks

and his voice is hoarse because neither of you have spoken in a while and the first thing he says (very matter-of-factly, too) is “i’m going to flip the board now”

and you just go “go ahead” hoarsely as well because you’re just in mild shock that nobody won that intense ass match

he flips the board and looks up and stares at you and you stare back and suddenly the two of you are crying of laughter like

majorly uncontrollable you’re just rolling on the floor wheezing 

after you both calm down renjun goes to the kitchen to find something to eat and he’s like “it’s 1 in the morning oh my god we haven’t even eaten dinner what the heck” and that sends you into another fit of laughter

“wait but we still have to have like a pillow fight and watch dumb romcoms and horrors and stuff we have so much to do and so little time” “renjun we don’t have to do all the cliche sleepover stuff” “ok but consider this: itll be fun” “its like ass thirty in the morning though/??” “are you saying we cant do it because if so now we HAVE to do it” “...you get the pillows i’ll get the popcorn put the worst movie you can find into the dvd player”

after a few movies its like 5: 30 am and the two of you are still awake

“are you still up” “no are you” “no”

neither of you wants to be the first to fall asleep

competitive couple af

you guys start a two person game of truth or dare and it ends up getting mushy because for a truth renjun asks you like how you knew you wanted to date him

and you get serious and stuff (which he didn’t foresee he expected an answer like “well you look like moomin and like....i love moomin”) and you come at him with like “when i started noticing that your eyes sparkle when you sing and just how happy you make other people and how you love what you do and how-”

he attacks you with a massive hug because oh my god you’re so sweet he’s getting a cavity 

“i like you a lot, you know”  “i’d hope so i just ate like 90% of your snack stash renjun”  “i take that back”

you guys are still awake when mark comes back to the dorm

when he gets out of the shower, however, is a different story - you and renjun are dead asleep while sitting on the couch, awkwardly wrapped around each other

a photoshoot courtesy of mark’s phone camera ensues

(mark goes to sleep to ice cubes in his pillow that night, courtesy of you and renjun)

jeno

king of planning 

like he mentally knows everything that can and will go wrong and stuff and knows where the extra pillows and blankets are and is aware of what you’re gonna wanna do and just...he Knows

the first thing you guys do when you get to the dorm is bake brownies 

he makes sure to take videos of the whole process and send them to the other members

jeno: guess what yall are missing out on ;) jisung: i hate this family

the kind of bf to try to feed you the brownies and get the food literally everywhere but your mouth

for as put together as he is you guys end up having brownies and ice cream for dinner lol neither of you can be bothered to cook dinner

“babe should we order out” “i mean you can if you want to” “...but jenoooo that means getting up and getting to my phone” “that’s what i thought”

has a cache of games and movies and shows 

“take your pick”

you guys end up playing random card games like ERS or blackjack for a while 

it honestly is never boring tho because you and jeno are just so comfortable with each other every moment is great no matter what you’re doing

i feel like jeno’s the kind of guy to call his SO a bunch of cute nicknames like he just wants you to know how cute he thinks you are and he does that thru nicknames

“love...” “babe...” “sweetheart...”

after a while though you run out of card games to play and jeno’s about to suggest watching something on tv when he sees your expression

“...what’s on your mind” “...we could mess with your members a little...” “prank calls?” “you know me so well”

within an hour the two of you have convinced yuta that aliens are real and can use cellphones and gotten taeyong to believe that “swag” is a polish swear word and that donghyuck needs to be punished whenever he says it

and jaemin thinks he’s being relentlessly contacted by clowns from a circus in the next town over who think that he’s stolen their tiny car

you guys pass more time just talking and stuff 

and putting on songs and dancing to them it’s Good Fun

he makes you take his bed and sleeps on the floor in a sleeping bag 

you feel awful about it though so when you’re sure he asleep you go find the other sleeping bag and take your pillow and sleep beside him on the floor

he’s super shook when he wakes up but when he realizes that you didn’t want him to be lonely on the floor his smile is as bright as the sun

texts his friends for help on how to cook a nice breakfast

jeno: yo does anyone know how to make breakfast haechan: yeah jeno: cool what are the directions haechan: i didn’t say i’d give them to you

by this time you’re awake and just like “ok let me handle breakfast” 

the two of you just end up eating plain rice and eggs (because you aren’t confident in your kitchen skills) and giggling over the crappy pictures you’re taking of each other eating 

all in all the perfect date/sleepover

haechan

the moment you walk in the first thing that happens is that haechan pulls you into a hug

the second thing that happens is he holds you at an arm’s length, looks you straight in the eyes, and goes “we have to make a pillow fort”

you 100% agree it’s a necessity 

after putting your bag down on the kitchen he basically drags you to the living room 

the couch gets pushed back against the wall, the coffee table is moved to the side and chairs are moved back so there’s just a big floorspace directly in front of the tv 

“let’s use four chairs as like pillars to hold up the blankets and bring all our food, phones, everything in so we don’t have to leave the fort the whole night” “i like the way you think.. we should go out some time, get to know each other better” “hyuck we’re dating”

i feel like haechan’s the type to be reserved with pda and stick to handholding (only sometimes, even then) because he’s embarrassed around the other members because they like teasing y’all

BUT when you guys are alone he’s totally different 

like after the fort is finished and there are blankets above your heads and you’re both changed into makeshift pjs (just shorts and shirts tbh) and theres pillows around the fort’s perimeter and the tv is on he’ll like

grab whatever you’re currently eating and hold it up and whenever you lean over to reach it he’ll just lean back or move it just out of your reach again

“give it backkkk” “only if you kiss me” “...honestly i was going to do that anyways but now that you’re asking i don’t want to”

leaning into him and him closing his eyes because he expects a kiss and his arm naturally lowering lolol you grab the food and move back without even a peck on the cheek

a pouty haechan emerges

he wont talk to you again unless you kiss him and youre like ugh this big baby

but you dont wanna spend the whole night conversationless so you comply and he pulls you in

suddenly yall are rolling around in the fort laughing and having a play fight just cute af tbh

“hey hyuck we have approximately 9 hours before the other guys come back and i have to go and we have to sleep sometime so we basically have 3 hours to pull some amazing prank” “not to worry, sweetheart - i already have an idea”

and thats when you two set about to turn literally everything upside down in everyone’s rooms 

it takes forever because he puts music on while you guys are working and you both end up ballroom dancing to michael jackson

once its done neither of you can breathe from laughing so hard 

he makes a really quick dinner and the two of you eat it in the fort

while trading stories from the past couple weeks

“so you’re telling me she just...drank the entire cup of coffee after pouring two monster energies into it” “yeah she straight up chugged it i was in AWE”

all of this is done facing each other while holding hands on one side and eating with the other

“hey is that my shirt” “might be? i just found it in my drawers” “it’s definitely mine” “no wonder it’s so soft”

you guys fall asleep really late (or early, depending on how you look at it) because you spend so much time just TALKING

there’s 80s movies playing on the tv in the background

you fall asleep on your pillow but wake up like sideways using haechan’s chest as a footrest or something just...weird sleep position couple

the two of you wake up to confused exclamations from the other members

“hey maybe we should eat breakfast somewhere else so they don’t kill us for the upside downness” “get your keys i’ll grab money” 

jaemin

buys a telescope just for your sleepover

“what’s the point of having a roof if you can’t climb on top of it and stargaze”

has you go up the stairs to the roof first so he can keep a steady hand on your back since the stairs are narrow

you guys have to make like three trips up and down from the roof before settling down

the first trip you guys set the telescope and blankets up and you go down because you need to go back and bring the food up

the second time is because you have to bring pillows up

the third time is because jaemin forgets his phone oops

its still kind of light out when you guys get up on the roof so you pass time by taking selfies and talking and stuff

its cold af outside and youre freezing despite your jacket so jaemin bundles the both of you up in a blanket (or 4) 

“so the best time to watch the meteor shower is between midnight and dawn but we can just look at other cool spacey stuff before then” “why would i look at other stars when the brightest star is right in front of me” “that’s the cheesiest thing i’ve ever heard i’m breaking up with you” “aw jaemin you know you love me”

you have to stop him from trying to eat what is essentially just a whole bunch of tomatoes in rice paper in one bite

jaemin forgets to bring games up to the roof and hes too lazy to go downstairs and get anything

youre not bored anyways tho

once it gets darker you guys start pointing out some cool stars and constellations

“babe it’s orion’s belt” “nana look at that star, it looks so bright!” “almost as bright as you” “i already said that about you earlier, try again”

play fighting over the telescope

he lets you look first though

when the meteor shower starts you’re both in serious awe

“can you believe that we’re so small and just..tiny and pliable and insignificant in this universe and there are huge things like meteors just streaking through this vast space of nothingness and just wow” “i’m just glad i exist at the same time as you” “jaemin that’s...that’s not even corny or anything that’s just super cute i can’t even make fun of you for it” “it’s true, though”

both of you forget to take videos of the shower

because you’re just enthralled with the fact that the literal sky is like...on fire and shit

jaemin the type to press chaste kisses to your cheek and pull you ever closer to him at random intervals

Soft BF Alert

eating dinner while watching

he points at like every meteor and is like “look at it goooo”

“gotta go fast” “jae if it was possible to literally delete somebody i’d do that right now...blocked” “you love me”

sings under his breath and you record a vid of him doing it without him knowing because its so cute and just...hes so good at singing youre shook

once it starts getting really late and youre yawning and stuff hes like ok maybe we should go downstairs and sleep

it takes two trips to get everything back down to the dorm rip 

at least jaemin doesnt forget his phone this time

once you guys get back neither of you can decide who gets the bed

“you can have it babe i sleep here everyday” “no way i cant do that to you, ill take the floor i practically live here its like home”

its wayyy too late to argue tho you both end up sharing the bed

overall an amazing date like???? meteor shower AND a sleepover with your bf in one night?

thats one successful night

chenle 

theres an unspoken meme war between the two of you

like nobody really mentions it its there...looming...constantly...

meme war as in you guys constantly taken ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS pictures of each other and use them as reaction images

throughout the night each of you take/send pics of each other to the other dream members 

“we should cuddle” “ok how do i know youre not gonna like...lick me or something for a picture of my expression” “you...well you dont but-”

you convince him to watch the ouija movies that are out

he makes it through them but like...

chenle’s either screaming throughout the whole movie or totally shell shocked and you’re just lol @ him

“this isn’t even that scary” “speak for yourself” “i am - come out from under the blanket babe i swear it’s not that scary”

after the movies he’s like “im never letting you choose what to do ever again ever” and you get him saying it on video for the Jokes

its his turn to choose

his immediate response is karaoke

chenle sets everything up for it while you order in dinner because lbr neither of you are looking up the directions to anything with cooking 

he screams directly into the mic while youre on the phone to test it

(and takes a pic of your eyes going wide and you jumping a little bit)

“is everything alright on your side” “yeah just ...make that three orders of chicken im gonna be eating my woes away tonight”

chenle gets out the hoverboard and tries to teach you the dance moves to chewing gum

that quickly stops because you fall onto him

twice

within a span of four and a half minutes

nobodys there to roast though so you guys laugh as hard as you want

a lot of screaming

you love his laugh its so bright and happy just!!! wow

ngl since you started dating him his laugh kind of influenced yours so you laugh a lot louder than you did before chenle

when your food comes in youre too busy screaming lyrics to a song to get the door so chenle grabs the food

and tips the deliveryboy even more than he usually would 

“you’re going to scare away the neighbors with that singing” “i’m surprised people still live here after you moved in chenle, dolphin sounding little-”

eating on the floor while facing each other

“close your mouth while chewing” “ok hon but to tell me that you spoke while eating” “listen, zhong chenle-”

having a staring contest 

loser has to wash dishes

spoiler alert: you lose because he starts smiling and you cant stare straight at him when he smiles without smiling back and blinking really hard its like looking straight at the actual sun

hes super loving and cuddly so while youre washing dishes chenle backhugs you instead of cleaning up the karaoke equipment

“yah you’re sidetracking me” “we should dance instead of being boring and washing dishes like an old married couple” “you can dance while i’m being productive”

he does just that - tries to sidetrack you EVEN MORE by dancing ridiculously while you try to wash dishes 

ends up in a soap and water fight 

i feel like chenle would sleep a little earlier than the other guys so when youre done cleaning up your (late) dinner and hes done mopping the floor of the remnants of soap hes like maybe we should sleep

you agree because its almost like 1 am and youre tired too

pulling out a big family size sleeping bag in the middle of the living room floor and finding pillows

putting on light instrumental sleep music

waking up to chenle taking like a million pictures of your terrible bedhead and sending them to all of his friends

chenle’s just so fun to be around alfskjdk

jisung

ngl i feel like the night would start off just a little bit awk with jisung

like not awkward to where no conversation is being made awkward just more like small talk while sitting a good foot away from each other on the couch and friends is running on the tv in the background awkward 

you get tired of that really fast tho

bc you and jisung have been best friends for a g e s it shouldnt be like this

so you bean him with a throw pillow

straight upside the head like hes an alarm clock that wont shut up

it takes him a second to react but once he does its chaos 

he hits you back with like twice as much speed and power

suddenly both of you are on the floor fending for yourselves while trying to attack the other

you fight valiantly but hes just

so dang tall that eventually he grabs the weaponized pillow right out of your hand and holds it way high above your head

“checkmate” “...oh shut up :/”

after that though its a lot more comfortable like you settle into your usual pattern of relentlessly teasing each other

“lets put on mickey mouse cartoons jisung you’ll be able to relate” “are you even tall enough to see the tv” “not everyone can be a beansprout”

jisung pops popcorn for the movies and instead of eating it while watching the movie the two of you just throw kernels at each other and laugh at how dumb the other looks with popcorn in their hair

after a while jisung’s like “we should go out back there’s like... a singular tree and some grass and we can just chill” and you’re like well that’s new in the city so it’s a good opportunity so you agree

bringing a needle and thread outside so you can sew together flower crowns of leaves, grass, and dandelions

jisung leans against the tree while watching you make a mildly lopsided crown 

he cant help but laugh when you put it on his head

“hold on im gonna take a picture” “do i look like a beautiful princess” “like a model, jisung, the prettiest princess ever” “will you be the frog to my princess?” “that’s the worst pick up line i’ve ever heard i’m considering taking back my flower crown”

you almost go inside after that but jisung’s like wait what about a flower crown for you

and you’re like oh i forgot i wasn’t really focusing on making one for myself haha

so jisung takes the needle and thread and makes you one

it’s not as pretty as the one that’s on his head but itll do

taking like 20 selfies together with the flower crowns before going back inside

after that he teaches you some of the nct dances

including stuff from the other subunits

“can you teach me taeil-ssi’s cheerleader dance from paju” “...this lesson is over”

jisung making rice and meat for dinner

you fry vegetables and try your hardest not to make anything explode

afterwards you’re lying down on the couch and he’s on the floor below you

the lights are out and its been a while since theyve been off

youre halfway asleep when

“i know youre my best friend but i think i want to date you”

aaaaand youre wide awake again

“wait, jisung, what?” “i thouGHT YOU WERE ASLEEP OH NO” “did i hear you correctly???” “im so sorry i’ll-” “i like you too you absolute idiot oh my god i cant believe neither of us said anything i-” “-move to cuba and change my name you’ll never have to hear from me again-” “-we are SO DUMB wow okay well we have to get together now its the next logical step-” “-and i’ll cut all connection off and. wait. wait, you like me back?” “-and. dude wait have you not been listening to me at all?? yes??”

and that kids is how you and jisung end up together

jisung texts all of his members before you both really do go to sleep (after an awkward hug and a massive bout of embarrassed laughter) that he finally confessed

you wake up to 89 texts and 2 missed calls 

“taeyong says i have to keep you safe and make sure you eat three square meals a day” “is it disrespectful if i block my hyung and surrogate mother”

!! youre dating park jisung congr a t s

ALL OF NCT DREAM

you open the door immediately to hug bombardment by chenle and jaemin

mark closes it behind you (and shrugs apologetically) considering you cant because youre sandwiched in between the two other members

the first thing all of you do is eat because haechan’s made dinner (with, as jeno keeps reminding everyone, jeno’s help)

hc: all he did was heat the water jn: but it was necessary and helpful, wasn’t it

the second order of business is to push everything out of the way in the living room so the floorspace is entirely open

there are, after all, eight people there and its getting tight on the chairs 

everyones just like eliminate the seating options and thats best - then everyone will just have to sit on the floor 

you: so whats next rj: lets play monopoly everyone, collectively: NO mk: i still have nightmares from last time

jisung suggests twister and everyone (foolishly) agrees

jaemin calls out the colors and limbs and soon you find your left arm reaching over chenle’s right leg and your legs trapped under jisung’s torso

hc, monotonously but muffled as his face is somewhere under renjun’s right armpit: wow this is so wild

after that ends badly (mark nearly suffocates from jeno’s left foot being literally in his mouth) everyone agrees on never taking a suggestion from jisung again (including jisung) 

you suggest a movie marathon and everyone throws pillows at you because that’s “basic”

jm: what about truth or dare jn: wow nana that’s actually a good idea jm: im going to ignore your tone and take it as a compliment anyways

truth or dare quickly causes everyone to become absolute messes because stuff like this happens -

you: renjun, truth or dare rj: truth you: so if you had to gently caress anyone here’s bellybutton, whose bellybutton would it be rj: i

mark and haechan and chenle can each barely breathe because theyre laughing too hard

meanwhile renjun’s mentally going through his brain files of everyone’s bellybuttons and ruing the day he was born, not necessarily in that order

jeno’s videotaping the entire game for future blackmail

hc: jisung if everyone here was a redwood tree who would you set on fire js: you hc: you..you couldnt have hesitated? for even just a secon d

jn: chenle go out in the street and yodel cl: you didnt even ask me truth or d- jn: do it

by the time truth or dare ends its pretty late but youre all way too hopped up on each others embarrassment and general having fun with friends to sleep

cl: karaoke? hc: karaoke. you: maybe karaoke will be our always

the noise level grows like exponentially once karaoke comes on

and it was already pretty freaking loud to start out with

mark’s halfway through a particularly soulful rendition of eminem’s lose yourself when you take a look at the clock

you: guys its almost 3 in the morning jm: sleep is for the WEAK js: chenle’s been knocked out for at least a half hour jm: exactly

mark and jeno move chenle onto the couch and put a blanket over him while you, haechan, and renjun set up sleeping bags and pillow and blankets on the living room floor 

jaemin and jisung turn the music off and make sure the kitchen and everything is clean (and twister is put away)

you turn off the lights and lie down in the bag between mark and renjun

you: we should do this another time jm: minus the twister everyone: minus the twister

jeno wakes you up by stepping on your stomach the next morning while trying to escape renjun and his Pillow of Wrath

the pillow fight’s a little late but hey

8 am is better late than never

a quick breakfast is had while everyone takes turns brushing/showering/changing and it hits 10 am quicker than expected

everyones sad when you have to go back home but!! you all had fun and thats what counts

youre not surprised when mark texts the group chat later about hanging out again soon

[the-little-red-noodle]

7/24/19 12:09am

“Wish i could get a little undrunk so i could uncall you at 5 in the morning, i would unfuck you..”

i guess its that time of the night where we process some shit before my sleeping pill makes me too high to type. 

mark and i hooked up. it actually happened?.. i’m feeling a lot of things but also pretty reserved, as far as things go with me. i’m not leaping into the romancey shit like I usually do. i’m actually pretty unhappy about it, actually.

i’ve been thinking about this moment for so long.. how it would feel to finally be with him and kiss him and say the things i’ve been feeling, and oh god, to hear it back? i should be happy.. im not happy.

there’s so much on the line here.. it’s not just some friend either.. our friendship was, and is, really important to me. i weighted it above other things, and now i feel like i just threw it all away for selfish reasons. i wanted to feel loved and i wanted to be touched and i wanted to touch him and i wanted to have the satisfaction of knowing he felt the same.. i wanted the euphoria of the calm before the sex where everything’s out on the table and we feel the same way and we’re holding our breath seeing who will make the first move and i just.. 

i think i regret it a little bit..

i think i’ve been selfish about it, cuz its what i wanted and what i have wanted for honestly a really long time but kept to myself cuz there was no way in the world that he would go for someone like me and there’s no way that someone as plain as me could captivate someone like him beyond just sex.. but we didn’t even have sex?.. 

lemme explain.

last night i went out to a drag show with friends, and it was so wonderful and fun and raunchy and just what i needed. it was a confidence boost (even if i struck out with a girl at the bar, i still tried!) and i got back to the frat house at 1am, drunk and confident and ready to push my limits with him.

we hung out for hours in the spare room, me being way too flirty and touchy with him and him being respectful but present.. we talked until i sobered up and we were laying in bed and the lights are off and he names the people he would have sex with in the frat and im not on the list and i feel uneasy and he talks about having a thing for people in the frat and i ask if he ever had a thing for me and he says yes, a while ago. the beginning of rush, over a year and a half ago. and he asks me if i ever had a thing for him and my face feels so hot and i shut my eyes

“you want my honest answer?”

“..yeah”

“.. i kinda still do.”

and he was quiet for so long and i felt so shitty about it and felt like i made things super weird and i said sorry and he was like no yer fine, which made me feel kinda worse.. i changed the subject and we talked about something else for a bit and then he got quiet again so i asked what was on his mind

“just what you said”

“i’m sorry..”

“don’t be. i’m glad you said something. I’ve been kinda feeling the same way for a while and didn’t know what to do about it.” 

i say something to the effect of i was trying to bury it because i didn’t want to fuck up the friendship, and he says he felt the same. and we lay there motionless for a while, staring at the ceiling. everything’s out in the open. cards on the table. breathing.

i move my head to his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around me and my hands are on his chest and our legs are tied up and we just hold each other. silence. breathing. squeezing.

i say “is this stupid? is this dangerous territory?” he says he doesn’t know. 

he asks how long I’ve felt this way, and i say for months probably. it was part of the reason i wanted to end my relationship with spencer, because i was having feelings for someone else.. we lay there. silence. breathing.

he pulls me in closer and holds me so tightly. he says he feels really happy. 

we stay there until he falls asleep and i slip out of his arms cuz i cant sleep tangled up. it takes me a while but i eventually fall asleep. we wake up around 7:30. i go to the bathroom and wash last nights makeup off my face. i come back and we hang out. we talk, we laugh, we cuddle.. 

at some point i was getting frustrated that he wouldn’t just bite the bullet and kiss me. i dont have much balls, but i can communicate enough. and i start getting punchy and he’s laughing at me like what do you want? and im pouting and not saying anything and then eventually he tells me to roll on my side to face him and he looks at me and he moves my hair like in the movies and he moves in and half grazes my lips with his and moves back quickly and says is that what you meant? and i laugh and exclaim yes! finally! 

(and now the good part) 

i pull him back and then it just happens. all that i had envisioned that the moment would be like doesnt matter anymore because its just me and him and we’re kissing and he’s moving almost on top of me and after a bit he pulls off me and lays down and says how was that? and i dont even answer as i start kissing him again and get on top of him and we’re moving and he’s grabbing my ass (mark grabbed my ass?? who are we??) and he’s moaning like i’ve never experienced a guy doing and at some point i say that ya know.. we could like.. actually do it?.. and he says “im not sure” and that he’s a little overwhelmed and hasn’t wrapped his head around the fact that any of this is even happening. and i feel kinda rejected and i get off him, not in a make a scene way, but in a like we should take a breather way. and we lay there and i’m so hot and bothered and he starts apologizing being like 

“was that too much? did i embarrass myself?”

 "no no you’re fine, im just a little frustrated”

“did i do something wrong? I’m sorry”

“no.. i just.. want.. you..”

and then he’s on top of me and he’s kissing me and kissing my neck and he kisses down.. then kinda rests his head on my thigh? and then we just had a totally normal unrelated conversation while he was resting between my legs? in the most nonchalant way and it was wholesome and funny and fuck man..

we moved into his room, cuz ac, and we were laying in his bed talking and sharing memes and i ask what he’s thinking about 

“sex. you?”

“sex.” 

and i look him in the eye and kind of smile, and i think he avoids it and says he’s going to the bathroom, and i’m thinking when he gets back, that’s when it can happen.

it felt kinda perfect in a way. like yeah, i wanted to sleep with him, like badly, but i think it’s better to ease in and not go too fast that we can’t backtrack if necessary.. but i didn’t want to backtrack.. 

in the moment, when its just me and him, i have all the confidence and sensibility to make decisions and do things i’m comfortable with, but then other people talk to me in the house and pull me out of his room and then it becomes a group hangout instead of just us 2. and its fine, cuz we are great friends and we just joined conversation and it peters out.. and then im packing to leave and he gets in the shower and i text him that ill probably head out and he texts me drive safe love ya bud!! and i kinda felt horrible?.. i feel like i’m panicking and hurting.. and i wait for him and he gets out of the shower and we sit together and i just wanted one more slight cuddle before heading out cuz reassurance i guess.. so fucking stupid..

he just goes right back to our usual cadence of banter and memes and physical distance and i’m in a weird fragile place feeling like i need him

i do not need him

and i get enough physical reassurance to put on my big girl face to drive home and go about my day pretending that i’m not deeply upset at the thought that i just lost my best friend cuz i caught feelings..

i know i’m a pretty dramatic person, i did do theatre for years for a reason. homegirl likes attention. and i dont take rejection super well (hence no longer doing theatre lol). and it felt.. weird. 99% of the weird was definitely coming from me. cuz he just started acting like my friend again, and thats fine, but now i want him even more..

had we just fucked and gotten it over with, i could settle down. but we just dry humped and he kissed me over my clothes.. which was lovely, but i’m also a big girl and i want to have sex.. and now i feel like im gunna fixate on it until it can happen..

i think i was underselling him, sexually, to myself cuz i didn’t want to get my hopes up.. he’s not my physical type at all, and he’s like a weird guy and like my best friend, but it ended up being pretty good.. we could find our groove probably, if he wanted to..

i don’t even know where we stand now. i don’t know what he wants, really. he says he’s cool with whatever as long as we stay friends, and i agree. the friendship is the most important thing here. and i don’t want things to be weird, but i cant back out now just for preservation cuz i want to be with him and i love him.. a lot

still processing. glad i got it all on paper, but now its 1am and i gotta cool off cuz im hot n bothered and ugh.. i just wish we could really talk about it..

i texted him that i missed him at like 11:20. he hasn’t responded.

update at 1pm the next day he said “miss you too friend”

dude.. fuck this.

“on some nights like this I cant help but think of us.. i’ve been reminiscing, sipping, missing you. can you tell me whats with all this distant love? on some nights like this I just wanna text you, but for what? you’ll say you want me then go switch it up.. just gonna play with my emotions just because...”

[batsysims]

100 QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS

I was tagged by @tickledsims ty ily!!

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? CLOSED when i was younger my little sister had a baby doll that would talk on its own at night and we called it the demon baby and hooooly shit

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i dont take those bc my hair cant take cheap hair products but i do take the soaps!!

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i put the mattress cover sheet thingy on my bed but i dont use an actual sheet :/

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? nah lol

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? YES i love using office supplies i could spend all day at staples omg

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? no lol but il save the lil receipt coupons and find them in my wallet months after they expire

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? yep!! i love them its why im scared to use foundation i dont wanna lose em

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? i either smile or if my moms takin the pic il make a stupid face 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? i have terrible road rage...... um........... i also hate it when men interrupt me i just walk away at that point 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? yeah i pretty much count everything

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? i dont think so??

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? def not lmao

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? i have an eating dance, a drinking dance, and a video game playing dance hahaa

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yes ugh it annoys me but i cant stop

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? at LEAST 0

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? i think its a single? a single or a twin either way im miserable send help

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? ummm probably You by Weird Milk?? its the most recent song i added on spotify so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yeah def unless its one of those “real men wear pink shirts” like just.... stop

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? sometimes my sister makes me watch stevens universe?? il watch phineas and ferb too bc honestly who doesnt anime too but not always cartoon ones or w/e

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? 2001: A Space Odyssey and Daughters of the Dust come to mind

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? u kno where ;) no how big is the treasure?? if its a lil bit id put it in that drawer under the oven bc my family never uses that but if its BIG TREASURE id hide it in the backyard of the last house i lived in bc a. nobody lives there now and 2. its totally overrun with green bc of like two floods

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water! only water ever

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? honey if theyre mcnuggets but other than that i use honey mustard!

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicky parm

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? honestly Inception is my feel-good movie

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? a lil babu

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? i was in girl scouts much longer than i ever wanted to be lmao WISH i coulda done BOY SCOUTS

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? aboutttt three months ago!

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no but i can watch

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? when i first got my license yea :( 15 yr olds are dum

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? twice! very good memories

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? egg salad gud

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? the all star breakfast at waffle house yasssss

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? honestly like 9 since i always have to wake up at 7 in the am but il stay up til 11 if i can

37. ARE YOU LAZY? absolutely when have ACTIVE ppl done ANYTHING

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was usually a cat bc i never could find a costume i liked smh but when i was 2 i went as winnie the pooh lmao

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? ox!

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? just english but im tryna learn spanish and japanese and im fluent in french if a two year olds speech patterns can be considered as such

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nah

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? LEGOS lincoln logs are big with nostalgia thoooo

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? with dumb shit yeah but i usually just dont care enough abt stuff to deal

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? theyre both old idc

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? no lol

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? not really tbh i like the adrenaline

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? if im alone!! nobody deserves to hear that

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? nahhh

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? when im in the drive thru haaaa

50. EVER USED A GUN? id like to go to a shooting range some time but ive never used one im also very anti gun so i probs would never buy one unless it was a cute lil glock i can handle well

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? st patricks day it wasnt technically for me tho

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? not in general but when ppl start obsessing over a certain one for months on end abt a certain time period and certain performers and certain songs and certain people of history i start wanting ppl to die

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? YEAH I NEVER HAVE MONEY WTF

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? my sisters obsessed with them so yea but never like. authentic polish potato pockets or anything just a frozen box of em

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? apple?? im not rly into pie tbh

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? ive wanted to go into law enforcement/criminology my whole life!! for a sec i wanted to be a firefighter, a journalist/writer/poet, and some sort of artist but u know how kids are

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? i tried to find that clip from malcolm in the middle for like ten mins but i couldnt yea

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? doesnt everyone tho?

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no im a bad adult

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nah

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? im not rich!!

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? ive never been to one! i was gonna go see metallica in baltimore but i moved before i could smh

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart sry targets cool but too much money!!! i go there for home things tho does kmart still exist

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? ADIDAS ive been trying to get a full adidas tracksuit for YEARS

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? fritos! i like the super hot cheetos tho

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? peanutsssss

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nope but they must be good im keepin @tickledsims response bc it made me laugh

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? when i was a lil babu i took ballet and gymnastics a lil later

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? i hope to never have a spouse  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yep

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? ive actually never even had a spelling bee im sure theyre a myth

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? i think so??

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nah

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? nahhhhh

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? no but i had a roommate who did i fell in love

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yeah ok lol so one time when i was a sophomore my french teacher had to use a substitute teacher and hes the reason i believe in love at first sight im STILL in love with him wtf ive also had a bf haha im hilarious

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? i dont really do concerts so i couldnt say but i think matd would be fun!!

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? oh my god

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? i dont rly like either but i prefer snickerdoodles over sugar

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i can only do that weird frog swim i forget what its called so no im shit at it

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? ye

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? if im able to distract myself?? it also depends on the severity of what im waiting on i guess

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? probs a band i guess i dont rly think abt that kinda stuff sry

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? when i was four i won a coloring contest at the ice cream store

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nope im poor 89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? both are good!

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i can knit but i cant crochet

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fckn bathroom

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? not rly unless its a partnership longlasting romance stresses me out especially with financial responsibility etc

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? -20 years

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? my high school boyfriend hahaaa h,,,,

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? im an adult sry

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 1!

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? nope! lmao i love her tho

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? red but i also like many others??? idk

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? ummm not rly?? im not close enough to anyone to miss them and those i am close to im able to hang with

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? god uhhh if you havent done it already and want to, @dreambot @nebula-simms @ellowynsims and @pixelbloom

[fictionalrat]

let it happen | chapter 4

read on ao3

9:40 A.M.

Lance saves the document, closes it, stares at his laptop desktop image until his eyes start to sting, groans in frustration, and slams his laptop shut. Puts it aside. He crosses his arms like a petulant child, he chews on his bottom lip, his eyes roam around his room.

He watches as the wind plays lazily with his curtains, making their shadows dance, swaying back and forth.

Something moves in his peripheral vision. He rolls his head to the side, fingers hovering over the keypad. The sight that meets him makes him pause, his fingers freeze, Keith looks so peaceful, he looks almost… ethereal. It’s kind of disturbing, yet mesmerizing at the same time.

Keith’s pale face glows a tender hue under the morning light, the sun tinges his chapped lips a deep pink, the scar under his left eye looks almost translucent.

Keith’s so… unfairly beautiful.

He catches himself tracing down the slopes of Keith’s face, the lines of his jaw, the curve of his upper lip with his eyes like a piece of chalk on canvas. He’s never seen something quite this stunning before in his life (granted, he’s only 22, but that’s beside the point), if only he knew how to draw like Keith does.

Lance can’t take this, his heart’s too weak.

He wants to bury his face in Keith’s ruffled hair, wants to breathe him in, wants to have him in his arms, wants to touch, but he seems so out of reach like this. Lance curls his fingers into fists, aching to touch. He restrains himself from charting pale, fading freckles down with his fingertips.

It… it’s very distracting, is what it is.

Keith scrunches up his nose, grumbles and throws an arm over his eyes. Lance’s breath catches in his throat.

Lance… Lance is fucked, he knows he’s fucked, he already knew that then (when Keith suggested this… arrangement), he knows that now, he’s known that for some time now, but it never fails to catch him by surprise. This… feeling never fails to overwhelm him. He fucking hates this… whatever this is, he has no fucking word for this… feeling. It claws at his throat, it kicks him the gut, it scorches his heart, it clenches his heart in a death-grip, it steps on it, it rips his heart apart.

Lance covers his face in his hands and rubs, groaning in frustration. This is ridiculous. He forces himself to look away, and focuses on drilling a hole into the wall with the force of his glare instead, running his tongue over one of his canines.

Do not distract yourself with cheesy rom-com bullshit, bitch, he scolds himself, Write. Yes, writing is good. Stressful, but good. Go back to writing. Avoid contact. Don’t look. Avert your eyes. Work. You’ve got work to do, so do it.

After about five or so minutes of glaring despondently into fucking space and hating himself for being pathetic, he does. He’s always been good at taking all his frustrations on his writing.

He pulls his laptop into his lap, opens it, double taps, and the document appears on the screen. The cursor blinks curiously at him, he blinks back, and sighs. He starts scanning it for typos, and corrects them, all the while grumbling about how fucking stupid he is, and how fucking stupid all those mistakes were.

He adds some of the worst expletives in big, bold and italic capital letters next to shitty, weird ass sounding paragraphs that don’t ever seem to get any better, even after rewriting them seven thousand three hundred and eighty-four fucking times. Doesn’t matter how many times he tries, how many times he bangs his fists on the keyboard, how hard he hits the keys, the words don’t ever seem to come out quite right.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

“¡BESA MI CULO, PUTO!” He snaps at one particularly dumb typo, and deletes its whole sentence out of spite.

Keith stirs, and groans next to him, turning his body towards Lance. Lance tenses, holding his breath and sitting very still until he’s super sure, 100% Keith won’t wake up. Keith sighs obliviously in his sleep, and turns on his stomach. Lance lets out a relieved breath, closing his eyes.

He snaps them open and shakes his head in frustration, “No seas tonto, Lance.”

He hits ctrl-z and skips the paragraph entirely, jumping to two paragraphs bellow, he reads it and gasps, “¿Qué carajo? Who wrote this? A fiveslgfjdjdfds.” A hand lands on the side of his face with a smack, smooching his cheek. Lance screams, - of course he does, how could he not. - and almost falls off the bed.

“SHUT YOUR ROTTEN MOUTH, I’M TRYING TO SLEEP,” Keith growls at him, voice raspy, and low, and terrifying. Even muffled by the pillow and drowsy, his voice doesn’t lose its aggressive edge. What the fuck.

Lance, after recovering his soul, turns his head so he can stare at Keith with raised brows, and huffs, “Hella lot of words coming from a sleeping person, I’d say.”

Keith groans and lifts his face off the pillow, glaring at him through squinty eyes, “Shut that fucking trap, you moldy piece of bread, or get out.”

“This is my fucking room, Keith,” Lance sputters, snapping his laptop shut for added effect, “you get out.”

“I’M SLEEPING, PISS OFF,” Keith kicks at Lance’s leg with enough force to bruise.

“OW! CAREFUL WITH MY COMPUTER, YOU BRUTE!”

Keith grumbles, turning his back to Lance and covering his head with Lance’s comforter. He curls into a ball, shutting Lance out.

Lance relocates his grumpy ass to the couch after flipping an oblivious, snoring Keith off.

He loves the guy, but damn, can he be an asshole so-

…Wait, did he just-

Oh, hell no.

10:34 A.M.

stud muffin so………….. do i even wanna know? probably not, but you’re gonna tell me anyway pidge, cover ur eyes

pidgeotto shut up hunk im not 5 GIVE ME DA DEETS LANCE

space boi lance AWWW MAN MY DUDES MY BROS MY PALS MIS HERMANOS

pidgeotto oh boy here we go…….. im regretting this already

space boi lance SHUT IT BIRD TURD anyway where was i before i was so rudely interrupted??? ah yeah OH MY GOD MY DUDES hes a screamer KEITH KOGANE OUR KEITH IS A SCREAMER ITS LIKE AAAAAA GUYS boi so thicc too goddem cant wait to have him up my ass honest such a nice dick 11/10 reallygreat work of art grade a AND DAT ASS!!!!!!!! GUH SO FUCKING SMOOTH he looks really nice when hes sleeping too so soft i want to chomp on his cheeks ughhhhhh how can he be so perfect its so unfair im swooning i swear to GOD he looks hot even when hes kicking me out of my own room which UNFAIR

A facebook notification pops up at the top of his phone screen in the middle of his rant.

Hunk Garrett tagged you in a post, it says.

Lance arches an eyebrow, “Huh.”

He taps it open.

Hunk Garrett is listening to the less i know the better, by tame impala i’d like to dedicate this song to my good pal Lance Martínez you know /why/ Pidge Holt and 5 others 

Pidge Holt  HOOOOOO BOY THE BURN THATS Y UR MY MAIN HO HUNK I LOVE U

Matthew Holt lol babe look at The Shade Takashi 

Takashi Shirogane Ah yes, that is indeed The Shade Of It All *scratches chin* Lance Martínez shiro i love u but dude ure embarrassing get off the internet Matthew Holt dont trash talk the baby lance Matthew Holt he’s sensitive Matthew Holt (ure adorable babe) Takashi Shirogane I take offence to that Lance Takashi Shirogane No more dog memes for you Lance Martínez NOOOOOO DAD NOT THE DOGGO MEMES Takashi Shirogane ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Pidge Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hunk Garrett ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Matthew Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lance Martínez u guys are absolute TRASH

Lance Martínez the WORST I TELL U WORST

Lance Martínez I NEED NEW FRIENDS ASAP 

Pidge Holt awwwwwwww lance i love u too Pidge Holt u can tell me everything later i’ll allow it Pidge Holt bring food Pidge Holt and redbull Pidge Holt tons of redbull Lance Martínez ure… ugh Lance Martínez i hate u Lance Martínez u tiny bird turd Pidge Holt URE tiny Lance Martínez GASP U TAKE THAT BACK Pidge Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hunk Garrett ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Matthew Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Takashi Shirogane ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Allura Ourania ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lance Martínez LULU NOT U TOO Allura Ourania ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11:35 A.M.

He’s avoiding the huge ass, one-sided, and glittery elephant in the room, he’s avoiding the fuck out of it. He’ll avoid the fuck out of it until it goes away, until it disappears for good, until it goes to fucking hell, until it’s burning in the fifth circle of hell.

He has no time for this.

This project is worth 40% of his grade.

His prof’s a mad man, yeah, but that’s how it is. He won’t flunk this class just because he can’t control his feelings.

He can’t, won’t, jeopardize his project just because of fucking feelings.

¡No, de ninguna puta manera! 

He needs a shower. 

And a joint. 

And coffee. 

Tons of coffee. 

But a shower first, then facials, then weed, then coffee.

Tons of coffee. 

He’ll also down a shot of tequila, because he’s feeling adventurous. 

(Reckless, he means reckless.)

1:45 P.M.

Lance’s minding his own business, stirring his way into his fifth?? possibly, probably, he’s not sure, cup of coffee, and stuffing his face with ham and pineapple pizza rolls in the kitchen after smoking a whole joint by himself in the bathroom, when he hears it. It is terrifying. A dull thud reverberates through the apartment, echoed by it; the most earth-shattering, ear-splitting shriek he’s ever heard.

“LANCE!”

He freezes, his heart plummets.

His spoon drops and clatters on the floor.

“LANCE, YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD,” the deity roars.

Lance squeaks like a fucking mice, and squats, hiding behind the counter.

Run. Pack your things and go, get out of town. Flee to Europe, change your name-

He presses his overheated cheek to the counter and sighs, so good. He grins wide.

Keith’s feet smack on the floor as he stomps, over-aggressively, I dare add, out of Lance’s room, “What the fuck did you do to my ass, you rotten egg?” His voice is louder now, much louder. Lance jumps mid giggle-fit, which sets him off into another one.

“ME!” Lance peers over the countertop and raises his hand, waving sluggishly and cackling, bloodshot eyes wide. Well, as wide as they can go, which, honestly, isn’t much, considering, “I DID THE FUCK! I PUT MY DICK IN - HAH - YOUR ASS! YOU LET ME - HAHAH - IT WAS WILD!”

Keith takes a long look at him and, like a flip has switched, his scowl melts and he bursts out laughing, his nose crinkling up. It’s so fucking adorable, Lance’s heart hurts. It burns. It screams in pain. Lance laughs the pain away like the idiot he is, or maybe just because he’s high as fuck. One can never be too sure, ya feel.

“I know that, you fucking stoner, I mean THE BRUISES.” He points at his bare hips, trying to catch his breath.

Lance’s eyes travel south.

Helloooo there, legs.

Wait, he went too far.

Go back two frames.

There, hips.

Lance blinks, and tries to open his eyes further. He can’t.

He blinks again.

Oh.

Ho boy, he did a number on the guy alright.

Also, this part is super wild, bare with him, it looks weirdly… beautiful? It’s gorgeous, actually. It’s a masterpiece, Lance is an artist.

The red and purple splotches scattered across Keith’s skin are… kind of blurring together in one big ass bruise, that reminds him oddly of the Milky Way. Lance fights hard against the white urge to draw an alien-head above Keith’s hipbone. Keith probably wouldn’t mind it, though. The nerd. Lance chuckles.

Keith clears his throat.

Lance flicks his eyes up at Keith, blinks languidly at him several times. Keith’s waiting for something, isn’t he? What is it again? He rakes his brain for an answer. It beeps.

Ah, yeah.

An answer, right. He needs to answer Keith, duh.

Lance cackles at his stupidity.

“Oh, that.” Lance wipes his eyes on his sleeve in between chuckles as he finally answers, sniffing. He braces his arms on the counter and pushes himself up on his feet, winking, “I’m not sorry about that.” He lies his torso on the counter, smooching his cheek against the cool surface, and shoots Keith a lopsided smile.

Keith shakes his head, “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, but you looooooove me,”  Lance sing-songs, finger gunning lazily with a grin.

Keith rolls his eyes fondly, and gets closer, dragging one of the stools from under the counter, and sitting down gingerly, wincing a little. His eyes flicker swiftly to something as he settles, before they land on Lance again. Keith frowns, “Should you be drinking coffee?”

Lance frowns back, puzzled, turning his head so he can look at his mug. “Shouldn’t I?” He wonders.

Keith leans over the counter, elbows propped up, and starts picking idly at one of the pizza rolls sitting pretty on the plate in front of him, “It doesn’t affect your high?”

Lance gasps. His pizza rolls. “No touching, you fugly mullet, it’s mineeeeee,” Lance whines, reaching forward and swatting Keith’s fugly hand away. He snatches the plate from Keith and brings it closer to himself, tucking it in between his arms, away from pizza roll-thieving mullets. Lance sticks out his tongue at him, before fitting two of the biggest rolls in his mouth. At the same time. For emphasis. His cheeks puff out.

Keith ducks his head to hide his grin. “You look like a chipmunk,” he comments nonchalantly, tapping his knuckles idly on the surface.

“Nhobowdshy ashkd yuh, Puhtrish,” Lance shoots back.

Keith rolls his eyes and flips him off with both hands, leaning back on his stool.

Lance flashes him the half-chewed food.

“Fuck, that’s gross.”

“Ah.” Lance struggles to swallow all of it dry, but manages, “I forgot to - clears throat - answer, coffee doesn’t affect my high much.” He shrugs, taking a bite off one of the rolls. Keith hums.

Lance swallows, “Pass me the straw, please. The long, bendy one.” He gestures a thumb back.

Keith slides from the stool in one smooth movement, makes his way around the counter and goes for the drawers. Lance hears as it slides open, “Which color?”

“Purple,” Lance answers over his shoulder.

He stretches his arm when Keith pulls the straw out and makes a grabby hand at him.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Keith holds the straw over his head.

“Gimme, or I’ll punch your di-I-i-aaAAAAAah,” he tries to steal the straw from Keith, but loses his footing and almost dives face-first into the cold, hard floor. “¡Coño!” He fumbles to keep upright, hooking a hand on the edge of the other side of the counter. Thank fuck for long fingers.

Lance manages to get his balance back by planting his feet firmly on the ground. Keith makes his way back to his stool, and once he’s settled, he hands Lance the straw already stretched. Keith’s lips quiver in a poorly concealed attempt not to laugh, eyes twinkling mirthfully.

Lance rolls his eyes as he throws the straw into his cup, propping himself on his elbow and resting his chin on his palm.

Keith makes gagging sounds, bangs falling on his eyes.

Lance ignores him in order to bring the straw to his lips with his free hand, and suck the coffee, swallowing in an obnoxiously loud gulp.  

Keith’s nose wrinkles in disgust. “You’re gross,” Keith comments, tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Thanks, I try,” Lance grins around his straw, then frowns at Keith’s bare chest. “Shouldn’t you put on some clothes, though?” Lance asks, eyes half-lidded, “It’s freezing, Keith.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, looking down. “Off-topic, but no, Lance, it’s not,” he shoots Lance a look, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “And how would you know, anyway? You’re high.”

“What’s this jealousy I’m feeling? There’s more, you know.” He pats the breast pocket of his sweatshirt with a dopey smile, and meets Keith’s eyes as he takes a sip, waggling his brows. He swallows and winks, “Don’t need to get all broody on me, grumpy pants.”

Keith hides his face on his arms and groans. Lance can see the blush rising on Keith’s neck, and allows himself a mental pat on the back as he pushes himself upright.

“Okay, let’s go,” Lance trots towards his bedroom.

3:32 P.M.

When they sober up enough to get stuff done, they throw themselves on the couch, legs tangled because why not, right? It’s not like Lance’s life makes any sense, anyway.

Lance with the camera in his hands and laptop on his stomach, Keith with his headphones around his ears, and one of his weird, edgy sci-fi books resting on his thighs.

Lance rests his head on the armrest and hits play.

Keith’s feet tap a comforting rhythm against Lance’s.

4:02 P.M.

Keith falls asleep against the couch, mouth slightly open.

Lance does a poor job at reducing the volume of his laughter at his dramatics on video. Even though Keith’s got his headphones on, Lance still manages to wake him up, and ends up getting kicked in the shin by a very rumpled, grumpy, and over-sized baby with a fugly mullet for that.

He tries not to laugh again.

…He fails miserably, and both his shins suffer.

Terribly.

4:30 P.M.

Because Lance has shit luck, and the universe is out to get him, they didn’t manage to catch Keith’s o-face on video. Life is unfair, God hates him, Jesus hates him, even Buddha must hate him, because this, right here, has got to be some sort of twisted divine punishment. Maybe it’s Karma, maybe he was a murderer in his past life, he doesn’t know. What he does know, though, is that this must be fixed.

“Dude,” he kneels on the couch and shakes Keith’s knee to wake him up, “Dude. DUDE!”

Keith’s eyes flutter open and he squints at Lance, blinking blearily, utterly confused.

Lance sits back on his heels and he offers Keith the camera, “Look.”

Keith, while frowning up at him, sits up and takes it. He yawns, unplugging his headphones from his phone and into the camera. He hits play.

Keith snaps the camera shut after about ten minutes, a furious blush burning his high cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. He still looks mildly confused, though, and astoundingly flustered, bringing his knees to his chest.

Lance bites on his bottom lip and heaves a huge breath. “We’ll have to tape chapter 1 again,” he clarifies.

Keith lifts an eyebrow, face still bright red, “Because…”

“I can’t see your face when you’re coming, dude.” Lance explains, waving his hands at the camera in exasperation, “That’s unacceptable, you know. really preposterous. I can’t have this, I can’t WRITE like this. This is a disaster. We gotta redo this, Keith. It’s a matter of life and death.” He grabs both Keith’s knees and shakes.

“But- I’m awake now, dipshit, quit shaking me,” He snaps, batting Lance’s hands away from his knees, “But… don’t you remember my face when I was actually coming yesterday?”

So, you see… remember when Lance mentioned he has shit luck, and the universe is out to get him, and some sort of divine punishment is being inflicted upon him? There’s another reason to back up that assessment.

They not only hadn’t caught Keith’s o-face on video, but he also didn’t get to see Keith’s o-face in living color yesterday because he had his fucking eyes closed. Which rude, Lance. That is just plain rude. There’s no excuses. That’s probably why God, Jesus, and Buddha hate you this much.

Lance hangs his head. “I- I had my eyes closed,” he confesses, accepting defeat.

“You’re hopeless.”

Lance’s head shoots up and he gasps, “Excuse!”

“No,” Keith stands up abruptly, almost kneeing Lance’s nose in the process.

Lance squawks and reels back, out of reach, eyes wide, “Wha-”

“Shut the fuck up, you dry raisin,” Keith glares accusingly at him and Lance flinches, “I’ll fix this.”

“Kei-”

Keith’s arm shoots up, and he points his index finger at Lance, thick eyebrows pinched. “Stay put,” he warns, waving his finger, “don’t fucking move, don’t breathe.”

Lance is too confused to react, or even say anything, so he just gapes.

“Just… stay there, I’ll be quick.”

Keith returns buck naked, with a dildo and the lube in hands.

Lance’s at a loss, he’s a loss for words, his sass is gone, along with his ability to form coherent thoughts. Keith has that effect on him, apparently. Keith always finds a way to give Lance whiplash.  

Keith dumps the stuff on the coffee table and turns his attention to Lance, he chuckles at what he sees there, “Shut your mouth, Lance, you’ll catch a fly.”

Lance finds his voice. “Wha-” he clears his throat, and shakes his head before continuing, “What the fuck?” (Eloquent.)

Keith rolls his eyes as he picks up the camera, “You’re gonna tape me as I touch myself.”

Keith hands Lance the camera.

“I don’t…” Lance takes it, still completely dumbfounded.

Keith cuts him off, “I told you I’d fix this, didn’t I? So this is me, fixing it.”

Something in Lance’s brain seems to click.

“Oh,” he replies dumbly.

Oh no, is what he means, no fucking way. He’s gonna die today.

Yup, today is the day.

“Okay, so…” Keith claps his hands, “scooch over, I need the space.”

Lance’s eyes widen, “You really gonna do this here? On the couch?”

“Is there a problem?”

Yes. There’s a ton of problems, actually. Not with Keith doing it on the couch, but still, there’s a problem. Tons of problems. These problems have problems. For one, Lance will probably die. For two, he can’t do this anymore. He can’t but he has to, and he will because his project is worth 40% of his final grade, he will because he has to. He has the moral duty to prove to Keith, and to himself, that he, as a matter of fact, can do this, even if he’ll end up hurt. Fuck his feelings.

“No, no, nope, no problem at all. I’m all up for jerking off on the couch, sign me the fuck up. It’s just…” Lance blows a raspberry, scratching the back of his head, looking around the room, uncertain. He can’t meet Keith’s eyes, “it looks too cramped, I think? I was just, uhm, thinking that maybe, I don’t know, you’d prefer doing this on a bed?”

Keith snorts, “Nah, it’s okay.”

Lance finally looks at him, searching his face, “You sure? Like, 100%?”

Keith rolls his eyes, “Yes Lance, don’t worry, just… keep the camera on me.”  

Lance sits upright, crisscrossing his legs, and points the camera at Keith.

[thepalegoldmoon]

Answers

so i was asked to answer all of these so here i gooooooo!!!!~… kms… ;u;

— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

uhhhhmmm i dont really hold hands cause i over heat and the get clammy easily, so the last person i “held hands”/ linked arms with was actually at Anime Boston with this rad dude Jay, we were cosplaying Keith and Lance from Voltron. it was a good day, but we were tired as fuck.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

kinda both depends on the situation and who im around tbh

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

in general or like famous??? uhhhmmm, if we’re going in general tbh me rad ass mate Jay cause why wouldnt I be looking forward to seeing this kid??? hes literally the best thing or person to see ever, duh! and if were going famous??? uhhhmmm music wise either Panic! At The Disco, TOP, orrrrr maybe a tie between some one from the Hamilton, or Heahters musicals.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

again depends on the situation and people. over all id say yeah in some way.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

uhmmm idk because we’d both probably be shit faced and tumbling over each other screaming, incoherently and laughing our asses off. While simultaneously getting into 20 different fights over cheese, bread, and cats. Then crying about video games and anime. probably in the midst of this we’d be laughing and patting each other’s back telling each other how good of a bro the other is an how we’re gonna take over the world by the sheer brute force of dogs and cats

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

uhhhhmmm i dont really have a type but there’s a guy i like alot whos my dream guy tbh, and to me hes perfect in alot and pretty much every single way. ºuº

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

probably not but its nice to hope and dream c:

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

either rn my friend Casey cause shes in spain this week for vacation or my childhood bestfriend Liz cause her birthday just pasted on april 7th and i havent seen her in years.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

depends on who im with and what exactly kinda stuff were talking about. but im always awkard af with everything so im always uncomftorble.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

mi boi Jay!!~ we tend to get into deep conversation alot. i enjoy it alot tbh hahaha.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

(when i got to this quesion)

 WE WILL BE TRASH GODS!!!~

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

UHMMM pass cause honestly the whole entirety of Heathers and Hamilton pretty much.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

OMFG HELL YEAH I DO!!!!!!!~

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah man thats always been something i believe in because i have the most terrible luck but i like to believe miracles have happened in my life.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i started the change in my social life and i got a really rad friend through the beginning phase of it!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

uhmmm ive only done pecks cause im  fucking looser so that was Jay, so hell yeah i would man hahaha! (hes got a kissable face its nice alright, i swear im not this fucking awkward XD) ((and bro i know youll end up reading this. i love ya man!! i hope this isnt too bad lol~))

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

fuck yeah i do bro. i wanna befriend at least one of them tbh.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

not really cause the kid left after 5th grade and i never saw him again,

19. Do you like bubble baths?

fuck yes.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

i dont really talk to them haha.

21. What are you bad habits?

i have alot, talking to much and fighting HARD during a fight, and having the worst timing for smart ass comments, and trying to change things i cant change too much. theres more but thats a good few.

22. Where would you like to travel?

everywhere and anywhere tbh

23. Do you have trust issues?

a bit ive more developed them because of shitty people

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

either shower or the part where i come home and either draw, eat, play video games, get to text my boi, or where i get to sleep.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my nose, the corners of my mouth or my big toes.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

text my friend good morning or get up and play with my mouse for a few minutes

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

i enjoy my skin tone but i wish i could tan ith out burning although, ive always wanted to either be albino or see what its like to be darker.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

either Jay, or my friend Casey

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nope because i dont talk to them XD

30. Do you ever want to get married?

at some point maybe haha

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

almost but the sides and some of my bangs are just a teeny bit off from making it :u:

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

uhmm not really any tbh theyre all to much older than me

33. Spell your name with your chin.

alyxx/ nyxx

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

ew no but i like swimming and to go on walks for fun

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

thats hard cause i need both for background noise

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

not really, i dont think so

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

something really stupid and half the time really provocative

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

ahhhh hahaha well i dont really know because the guy im crushing on is my dream guy js. and if i were to try and describe him id butcher the amazing and astounding beauty of the real person to be honest

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

ahhhh idk, lush?? and anything with food tbh

40. What do you want to do after high school?

die, or move to salem WITCHever comes first -u0 lol (bad pun i know i know)

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

i belive in ALOT of chances tbh

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

either im tired, extremely sad/depressed, overthinking/ thinking, focusing, thinking how to reply something or im REALLY fucking pissed off at you for something.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

REALLY FUCKING AWKWARDLY AND IN REALLY FUCKING AWKWARD SITUATIONS

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

UHHHHHH BOTH!!!!!~ TF?

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

THE INPENDING FEAR AND DOOM OF CRIPPLING ANXIETY IF I MISS THE BUS OR if im hanging out wiht someone that day the motivation of not being alone in my room with myself for the whole day or so hahaha, or a con/ meet up which applies to friends.

46. What are you paranoid about?

AAAHAHAHAHAHA IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION???? fucking everything…

47. Have you ever been high?

yes

48. Have you ever been drunk?

buzzed not drunk

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

uhhh i dont think so im not really very secretive. maybe like PERSONAL shit but no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

a few times

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

uhmmm either eye color and nose Physically.and personality wise i wish i wasnt so stubborn tbh.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

lush is the closest thing to makeup i use hunny

54. Favourite store?

lush

55. Favourite blog?

@thedevilandhisfiddleofgold​ c;

56. Favourite colour?

Blue

57. Favourite food?

uhmmm theres too many to list, all?? except spicy

58. Last thing you ate?

a cracker with nutella on it

59. First thing you ate this morning?

a cinnamon powdered sugar doughnut

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

nope

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Suspending, accused of stealing shitty locker wallpaper panels. THAT I ACCTUALLY FUCKING HADNT ;U;

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love?

YES ;-;

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

never fucking had one kiddies sorry no story time for this one

65. Are you hungry right now?

kinda i want chips

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

uhm my only tumblr friends are friends in real life so not really because how do you like someone more on tumblr than you like them in real life??? not like its impossible its just odd.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

neither tbh, i only use my facebook for my work schedule

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

TUMBLR

69. Are you watching tv right now?

yes i started 13 reasons why

70. Names of your bestfriends?

jay, casey, liz (ranked most to least interaction and tbh who ive talked to most recently, those other two loosers never text me)

71. Craving something? What?

chips, cookies, FOOD, and love, BUT MOSTLY FOOD RN

72. What colour are your towels?

we have mostly white and black towels but theyre all just multicolored

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

(im also counting my stuffed animals as pillows)

at least 11 tbh

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

(refer to last question)

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

9

75. Favourite animal?

wolf, fox, raven, snowleopard, cat, snake (i cant choose)

76. What colour is your underwear?

black like my soul bitch

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

birthday cake or cotton candy/ bubblegum

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

black

80. What colour pants?

dark grey

81. Favourite tv show?

uhmmmm Voltron or steven universe

82. Favourite movie?

heathers and the crow

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

havent seen the second one (refer to previous question)

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

the lebanese chick and the gay guy that were friends with lindsay lohan’s character

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

thats a hard question cause i love them all ;-;

87. First person you talked to today?

Jay (and caiden???) i sent a message to a group chat right after i woke up, i was pointed at Jay but theyre both in that chat

88. Last person you talked to today?

same chat

89. Name a person you hate?

ahha ahhahaha hahahaha, mmmmm theres alot 

90. Name a person you love?

Jay, Casey, my pets

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

better question… is there not????

92. In a fight with someone?

i dont think so but im aboutabe casue they wont give me times on if theyre coming tomorrow or not ;-;

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

2 and a pair of sweat pants i made into shorts

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

hehehe at least 6 or 7. tbh my attack on titan one has been issing for a while and it makes me sad

95. Last movie you watched?

heathers, im not saying the technical last one cause it was gross as fuck and doe not count as a movie to me

96. Favourite actress?

ehhh hellena bonham carter

97. Favourite actor?

johnny depp

98. Do you tan a lot?

not really cause i burn and im afraid of getting skin cancer

99. Have any pets?

2 guinea PIGS and a mouse

100. How are you feeling?

alright kinda missing my friends and also kind anxious

101. Do you type fast?

depends on my mood, what im typing on,  and about

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

so.. many… things…

103. Can you spell well?

fairly decently i think, average nothing over the top but i try haha

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

ehhh Liz and my friend Julia from Germany she was cool.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

nope

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

there was a girl named shannon who was all over me and head over heels for me, she mightve been a taurus. she tried to use some serious mental shit to try and get me to stay. i told her to seek professional help and not me.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

nope

108. What should you be doing?

a 10 page paper and finishing final fantasy, and getting more loot boxes in overwatch

109. Is something irritating you right now?

not really knowing what to do with my senior paper, shop friends, being alone, and not having enough hours in the day and always being fucking tired.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yes, i do right now, tbh, but its cool

111. Do you have trust issues?

this was already asked. slightly it depends on the person

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

no one, mentally and close to physiccally jay and caiden, but im always mentally crying. i dont physically cry if i do youre special, im not that soft.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Ash

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

i was born in pittsburgh, pa. i lived in townsend, ma and i just recently moved to pepperrel, ma.

115. Do you play the Wii?

not any more

116. Are you listening to music right now?

not really

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yes

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YAS

119. Favourite book?

how to make the perfect boy?? (its something like that) i also really enjoyed mrs. perigrines home for peculiar children.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

im afraid of what might be in it

121. Are you mean?

i can be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

ew not wtf

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

probably not

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

kinda but only to an extent

125. Do you believe in true love?

again kinda but only to an extent tbh

126. Are you currently bored?

a bit

127. What makes you happy?

chilling with jay, playing wiht my animal or sleeping 

128. Would you change your name?

i want to, im trying to get Alyxx as my name hahah but i have a genius way to keep ASH

129. What your zodiac sign?

GEMINI BIATCH!!!!~

130. Do you like subway?

yeah its alright

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

uhhhh hahah i already dated my childhood bestfriend. Liz was chill but id kindly turn her down

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

already answered this up top, but Jay

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

hmmmm i have too many tbh, id love to put one here but i cant think of a good one atm sorry my dudes

134. Can you count to one million?

maybe but im to lazy to fam

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

hahaha ive told too many to put those down

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

CLOSED OMFG NO #TRIGGERED

137. How tall are you?

5′5.25″ ( THAT QUARTER IS IMPORTANT ;u;, believe it or not i had=ve alot of friends that are taller than me)

138. Curly or Straight hair?

wavy-ish

139. Brunette or Blonde?

i myself am a “brunette”

140. Summer or Winter?

kinda both

141. Night or Day?

ehh more night but i enjoy both

142. Favourite month?

either, October, November, December, and i actually am not a fan of my birth month may haha

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope but ive thought about becoming one to cleanse and to get in better shape kinda reasons

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk and white

145. Tea or Coffee?

both

146. Was today a good day?

ehhh kinda

147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers but i wanna try a mars bar

148. What’s your favourite quote?

hahah either

“ another fucking heather! -sighs- Our love is god let’s go get a slushie!”

-JD “Heathers”

( i relate most to the heather part tbh)

  “ill hook ‘em…” “..and ill cook ‘em!”

-Roadhog and Junkrat “Overwatch”

( YEAH I KNOW IM TRASH BUT ITS A PRECIOUS QUOTE BETWEEN TO REALLY GOOD BEST MATES OKAY!!!??)

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

WHOLE HEARTEDLY, IVE SEEN THEM, IVE FELT THEM, IVE HEARD THEM, TALKED TO THEM, I RESPECT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AND THEY ARE KINDA SLIGHTLY TERRIFYING BUT I LOVE THEM!

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“WOW MAGNUS, you’re probably thinking. That was… stupid!” 

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard 

[annabelharmony]

Select Language​▼

40,000+ online now

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like advice.

Stranger: i am m16 and want to fuck my mom :(

You: your step mom

Stranger: no my real mom

You: is she hot

Stranger: she’s been teasing me

Stranger: yes

You: no she hasnt

Stranger: yes she has

You: like what

Stranger: she constantly try’s peering at my dick and has her tits out :(

You: haha really

Stranger: yes

You: well dont do it

Stranger: why i want to

You: bc shell go to jail

Stranger: sorry i don’t wanna fuck her

Stranger: i want her to give my dick kisses

Stranger: and cuddle with me and let

Stranger: me suck her breasts

You: ok? thatll lead to fucking

You: and she can go to jail for that

Stranger: who’s gonna find out

You: me lol

You: also whats up with your dad

Stranger: he’s old and fat

You: lmao

Stranger: i’m 6’2 taller then him

Stranger: he’s 5’11

You: wow thats hot youre so tall

Stranger: well i’m not unattractive looking and i like the look of my body

You: im 5'3

Stranger: uoure a girl?

You: uh yeah

Stranger: how old?

You: 14 lol

Stranger: awe haha

Stranger: this was kinda weird sorry then lmao

Stranger: if i had a girlfriend who babied me i’d be so happy

You: not your mom right

You: bc we arent doing that?

You: bc she gave birth to you??

Stranger: i think i just have pent up sexual thoughts

Stranger: i don’t think i’d do anything just it’s frustrating

You: ik

Stranger: like

You: shits gonna be weird every family reunion

Stranger: she constantly does things that make me think she wants it but it’s definitely me jus throng horny

You: ok so she def has a problem

You: who tf she is

Stranger: at 16 is it normal that she kisses my lips?

You: yes

You: does she use tounge?

Stranger: a lot of people here say no

Stranger: and no but i wish she did

You: haha you might just be fooling urself

Stranger: so like

Stranger: the other day i had to go to the post office and mom told me to throw all my

Stranger: clothes in the wash when i got home

Stranger: then to shower

Stranger: so i did and i normally always have pants on because i don’t like walking in just boxers so i ran quickly to the bathroom

Stranger: and she was in there and i’m in my underwear and she’s cleaning, i told her i had to get in and i got hard bc she was wearing no bra with a loose shirt :(

Stranger: she kept bumping against me as she left and it made me harder and she kept looking at jt

You: how old is she just wondering

Stranger: like 39

You: um ok

Stranger: looks like 32

You: can you do me a favor

Stranger: yes

You: please for the love of god go on dr phil

Stranger: lmao no

You: so i can say my bff from omegle is on dr phil after he tried to fuck his mom

You: has she ever explicity said anything weird

Stranger: she does enough to make me think, too little to confirm it. yesterday i went to the bathroom when she walked in and i said “i can’t pee when your in here” and turned around enough so she could see my dick and she said “when i was a baby i saw your pp all the time and you

Stranger: peed all over me!”

Stranger: so i laughed and hugged her :(

You: BRO WTF

You: THAT IS SO UNBELIEVABLY UNPROBLEMATIC

Stranger: :(

You: PROBLEMATIC

You: ok that would be a nice story if she wasnt literaly your mom

Stranger: :( can i say it’s my step mom

Stranger: would you feel beyter

You: yes i would

Stranger: so we are talking about my step mom who does this what do i do to be able to get further?

You: just get her pregnant and youll be the father of your half sibling

You: um well like to seduce her

You: or just in general

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: just like

Stranger: i want to know

Stranger: if she wants what i want

Stranger: without ruining everything

Stranger: i give her kisses but even if i don’t pull away she pulls away first

You: walk in when shes changing and dont leave

You: ok so i saw this thing on dr phil right

You: Well I saw two things

You: One was a mother in law and her daughters husband

Stranger: it’s like she’ll ask me to leave if she’s changing, but if she’s peeing in the room i she stands up and wipes in front of me and shows her pussy

You: then dont leave and wait for her to make a move on you

You: youve seen her pussy?

Stranger: yes but like she doesn’t like

Stranger: idk

You: ok so basically the mom walked in while he was jacking off

You: and then she jacked him off so if you want that ig you could try that??

Stranger: but i can’t just let her catch me jacking off what if she got embarassed

You: does she masturbate?

Stranger: she fucks my dad srill

Stranger: still

You: ok then show up right after they finish

You: while shes still naked but hes out of the room

Stranger: thays the problem. i can’t really do that.

Stranger: so i know they fuck when they say goodnight then get up to go to the bsthroom

Stranger: because they have to get ready for bed after they fuck

Stranger: but they say goodnight before then and lock their dolf

Stranger: door

You: well have her walk in on you right

You: and make direct eye contact

You: whats the best advice youve gotten so far i just wanna know

Stranger: well like. when i use the bathroom when she’s in there i’ll show it off and masturbate a little and tell her i’m having trouble prring

Stranger: peeing

You: oh ok

You: has anyone given you any good ideas

Stranger: that was a good idea i thought

Stranger: i haven’t done that much yet

Stranger: but i want to more

Stranger: ohh there’s one more

Stranger: when i get sick and i’m all alone with her i want to call for her in the bathroom if i take a shower or tub

Stranger: and tell her i feel ike i’m gonna be sick

Stranger: and show my hard cock

You: haha ok

Stranger: i’ve been walking around hard and pushing it against her when i can

Stranger: hugs from behind and kisses on the lips

Stranger: and she’s been wearing bras where her nipples fall out lots

You: I really like you but idk what to tell you

Stranger: and like the other night we watched tv and she put her legs on top of me and rested one on my crotch but didn’t make it obvious. if it happens again i’ll press her feet down on it

Stranger: you like me?? but i’m weird as fuck

You: your problem is so fucking specific

Stranger: hahaha

You: no i dont like you like you

You: I think your a good person

Stranger: what makes you say that?

You: But idk if I should be helping you by preventing you from doing this

You: Or give you ideas?

Stranger: give me ideas

You: idk you seem nice

Stranger: right now i’m sitting on my bed with a hard cock just thinking about it. talking about it helps relieve some of the stresss

You: like youre horny as fuck but not as much as some other people

Stranger: like i’m i circumsised right? and i think my mum likes it thay was since she was the one who decided

Stranger: un^*

You: ok

Stranger: so when i show her when i’m soft i think she actually enjoys it

You: so i have a question about like circumcised and that stuff

Stranger: and like when i take the head out it’s super sensitive and i just want my step mommy to give me kisses there :(

Stranger: yes please!

You: i feel like circumsising your cocks like a religous thing right?

You: like its not as common

Stranger: exactly yes

Stranger: mostly common in jews but for some reason most americans do it

You: are you a jew?

Stranger: they think it looks better but i love the way it feels and looks

Stranger: nope because i am uncircumsized

You: wait but like

Stranger: jews are the ones who circumsise

You: this shits so confusing

You: ok i feel like circumsised penises look more normal??

Stranger: hahah yeah a bit, my mommy didn’t want any chances of it going wrong and hurting my dick

You: is that just my opinion ive seen that more

You: she wont hurt your dick

Stranger: i like am so horny talking to you it’s crazy i’m sorry

Stranger: circumsised dudes normally have a super sensitive tip, because the skin goes over the heads

Stranger: head

You: oh wait is it bc guys normally jack off and then we the head

Stranger: if i pull my skin back, it looks the exact same as a circumsised one

You: idk bro it shouldnt matter but ive been really confused

You: yeah that makes sense

Stranger: it’s ok, if you love someone it doesn’t matter the size of their tits dick the shape of their cock or vag it’s all normal

Stranger: you know?

You: are you insecure about yours or smth

Stranger: not at all, there’s things that make it not very normal but i like it

Stranger: like when i’m hard it’s curved upward, a lot of dicks do it’s not perfectly straight

Stranger: and i have foreskin which a lot of guys don’t hahe

Stranger: but it makes it more special i guess thinking someone would wanna give my pp kisses regardless of how it looks

You: yeah girls literaly have no prefrence of it

You: they dont care

You: well

Stranger: as long as it’s clean and nice and smells good it’s fine :)

Stranger: i shave because i like the way it feels

You: i was talking to a guy earlier whos complaining about his gf not liking his big dick

You: wait was that about vaginas

Stranger: i’m 6-7 is that too big too small or average?

You: average i think

Stranger: that’s good :) i have a thick cock too

Stranger: it looks nice is what i’m saying

You: thats good

Stranger: i like romance

Stranger: a fon

Stranger: ton

Stranger: i’d get so turned on my cuddling and small soft kisses

You: i dont really think thats a guys thing

Stranger: when my mom wakes me up in the morning i wrap my arms around her and kiss her and pull her on top of me

Stranger: then she gets up

You: um ok thats nice

Stranger: step mom

Stranger: what do you like

Stranger: are you a virgin?

Stranger: i am

You: yeah obviously

Stranger: hmm what size titties do you have?

Stranger: you don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortsbld

Stranger: i just like imagining

Stranger: thay maybe someone like you was here next to me

You: idk what do you think

You: oh well i guess you wouldnt know

Stranger: haha i’ll give a guess uhh B cup

You: yeah thats right actually

You: but sometimes they get a little bigger

Stranger: i’m 180 pounds 6’2 i’m 6-7 inches long i’m white with blackish hair thay is parted in the middle and people tell me i have a nice smir

Stranger: smile

You: haha ok thank you

Stranger: haha :)

Stranger: do you think it’s wrong for me to wanna start showing my pp to my mommy

You: yes

You: but i still accept you

Stranger: tank you :))

You: haha ur welcome

Stranger: hey i think you’re cute. i don’t know you very well but since i’m talking to you i want you to know if you were here i’d snuggle with you and kiss your titties <3

You: i didnt like you that much till i found out your hairs parted in the middle

You: aw ok

Stranger: my pp wants kisses :(

You: hey i have to go in a sec

You: if you wanna keep talking you can give your snap or smth

You: but if you dont want to its fine

Stranger: i have terrible anxiety and i told you i wanted to like do things with my mommy :( i would so give you it but i’ve probably already fucked myself

You: wdym

Stranger: like you said it’s illegal to fuck my mom

Stranger: and i told you i was gonna tru my best to

You: jesus i wont tell anybody

You: but i swear if you dont to its fine

You: *dont want to

You: you still there?

Stranger: yes sorry

Stranger: ;-; i just don’t know

You: ok i literaly have to go now

Stranger: i’m dorry

Stranger: sory

Stranger: <3 thanks for taking wit me

You: ok i hope you end up alright

You: see ya

Stranger: same to you thanks for being super understanding and helpful to talk to

Stranger: hoenstly

Stranger: made my heart happy

Stranger: <3 <3