#but like every other fucking song. and my sister loves her so trust me it’s been a lot.

[quietwingsinthesky]

i do not understand taylor swift i have been forced to listen to her music so much and it is never good. and im allowed to say that because i have shit music taste so if even i don’t like it, there’s got to be something wrong here.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Alexander Hamilton

Pairing: Buck x Eddie Diaz x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Notes: You know that line in the song “Burn” that’s like “I see how you look at my sister” I literally named it this all because of that bwahahahahaha me

“Yo Diaz! Your girl is here” 

Eddie’s cheeks are pink as he comes down the stairs. Hen already has her arms around you, giving you a big hug before Bobby pulls you into his arms and gives you a kiss on the head 

“Hey kiddo, it’s been a while” He smiles as Eddie comes over with Chimney 

“Okay, Did we miss the whole “my girl” thing? Because it feels like it” Eddie jokes as Chimney shoves him aside to hug you first 

That’s everyone!…well, almost. 

Buck is overly concentrating on making his sandwich, he’s got to get his lettuce on just right or he might as well throw the entire damn thing away. His hands are shaking as he glares at the sandwich, carefully trying to place the lettuce. 

He can hear your laughter and the little giggle he knows all too well. The one when Eddie wraps his arms around you and says in that stupid deep voice of his 

“Hello gorgeous” Buck mouths along with him, making a face. And he mocks said little giggle and bats his eyelashes 

“Hey Superman” 

He also knows what’s coming next.

“Wait, where’s Buck??” 

Couldn’t you just leave him alone?? Just this freaking once. Because he can’t help himself, and he’s never felt so guilty in his entire life. He’s betraying Eddie’s love and trust in him, he’s betraying their friendship he’s betraying that weird little tug he feels whenever they’re in the same room together. 

He’s hopelessly in love with you 

“I think he’s upstairs, eating” 

There’s nowhere to run as he hears the thud of your platforms coming up the stairs, he can hear Eddie following you, can tell by the sound of little slaps and you calling him a perv as he laughs 

“Buck??” 

His breath catches in his throat as he looks up at you, he absolutely melts on this spot. His body relaxed and a soft smile on his lips. You look so pretty today, you look pretty every day he’s sure but today you look especially pretty.

Oh yeah, he’s definitely in love. And it’s going to get his ass kicked and his brain punched out and like some other weird third thing Eddie can come up with. Though he’s not sure how Eddie would punch his brain out 

As you come closer his heart starts to beat faster, his palms start to sweat, and that’s when he realizes something very very important. 

You’re wearing his shirt. What are you doing wearing his shirt??? How are you wearing his shirt? Where did you even get his shirt? Why is Gamora?! 

He’s too distracted by his own screaming thoughts to notice the way you look at him short-circuiting. Eddie chuckles quietly behind you and you turn to him, giving him a little smirk. 

“Hellooo?? Buck? Anyone in there?” You wave your hand in front of his face and he snaps out of it, blinking slowly. The shirt is tucked into the front of your skirt and it falls on you so nicely and you look so cute it makes him sick 

“Oh- uh- shit- sorry shit. Fuck, wait I shouldn’t say that in front of a lady wait let me start over” 

You look up at him, nodding along slowly with a silly grin on your face as you wait for him to start again and Eddie laughs, his head falling back 

“Hi Y/N, it’s nice to see you,” He says calmly, his hand on his chest and you curtsy, holding up the sides of your skirt 

“Hello kind sir, might I have a hug?” You say in a posh accent, trying to hold back a laugh and he groans, shoving you backward 

“Oh shut up!” 

“Didn’t you literally launch her half-naked ass out of bed last week when you slept over so you could sleep in the middle next to me?” Eddie comes over, sipping his coffee and you turn back to Buck, your hands on your hips 

“I literally had my body on your body! And you think cursing in front of me is an issue? I thought we were friends” You pout at him, your eyes wet and wide. You make a little whimpering noise and he crumbles, yanking you into his chest and crushing you against him. You let out a little oof as you hit his chest, your arms wrap around his waist and he can feel his heart lurch. 

You belong there, you fit so perfectly in his arms, into his body, into his life. He looks down at you as you look up at him smiling 

“There’s my Buck” You whisper and he cups your face, his thumbs smoothing over your cheeks as he stares into your eyes, those beautiful eyes that constantly haunt his dreams 

“Y-your Buck?” He repeats, and he swears up and down your eyes flick to his lips for just a second. 

Eddie can feel the tension radiating between you two as he stands there sipping his coffee. He’s been making fun of you daily for your crush on Buck. Whenever you try to make fun of him for his crush, he says he “freely owns up to it” which is hilarious considering he’s never done anything about it because “he was scared to ruin their friendship”

No, he was scared Buck would reject him.

“So why are you wearing his shirt?” Eddie sets his cup down and Buck recoils away from you, his hands immediately stuffing themselves into his pockets 

“Uh- yeah!” He coughs awkwardly and runs a hand through his hair, tugging at it a little “What’s up with that?” 

You look over at Eddie, he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face and you could just rip that stupid mustache off his face because he knows what he interrupted

“It was on your floor,” you tell him, a little edge to your voice, “I thought it was yours” 

“I’m pretty sure we wear different sizes” Eddie mumbles as he reaches out for your hand, you take it and he pulls you over to him slowly, appreciating the way Buck's shirt hangs on you, looks almost as good as his own 

“I think you look good in it… right?” He cups your face, a mirror image of what had just been happening and he looks over at Buck for a moment before leaning in and kissing you. His hands slide down to your sides and he pulls to into his body, bending you back a little 

“Eddie!” You giggle and kiss him back, moaning into his mouth as he slips his tongue past your lips, you melt into his arms as your tongues tangle together and he lifts you onto the counter. 

"S-so good" He mumbles, his sandwich definitely long forgotten about as his eyes travel over both of your bodies

Buck hasn’t looked away, not once. He couldn’t even if he tried, he watches Eddie’s hands slide under your- no, his shirt and grip your waist. Your fingers trail over the front of Eddie’s work shirt, feeling over his chest and fumbling to unbutton it when Buck finally gains his senses back 

“Jesus-“ It comes out more of a breathy moan and that gets both of your attention. 

“You realize we’re at work right?! L-like our entire team is downstairs??” 

He tries to recover, he’s wringing a dishcloth in his hands nervously as he looks around frantically because someone is going to fucking catch him thirsting over his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend. He’s not sure when Eddie got into his equation, but seeing your hands slowly unbuttoning Eddie’s top made him want to see what was under there. You know, even if he already knew technically 

“We’re just kissing” you tease him, tilting your head as Eddie slides his hands up your thighs now… hiking your skirt up higher

Buck whimpers, watching your skirt ride up, and Eddie chuckles into your shoulder, laying his head against it. He turns to look at Buck, biting his lip before lifting his head 

“He’s right baby, we could get caught” He helps you down off the counter as you groan and whine and Buck can finally fucking breathe 

“Oh don’t be such a brat” Eddie scoffs and smacks your butt, making you squeak.

“Why does he get to make us stop!” You point a finger at Buck and Eddie shrugs. 

“He’s cute?” 

If Buck wasn’t already a sweet shade of crimson he’d be on fire probably. His mouth drops open and your eyes widen playfully before you giggle 

Your reserved only for Eddie giggle 

“Yeah I s’pose he is, isn’t he?” You turn to look at him, your hair spilling over your shoulder and Buck loses his breath. Because there you are, in all your beauty and your equally as hot boyfriend standing against you now, his arm around your waist and he suddenly feels this visceral need to just be standing behind you as Eddie kisses one side of your neck and he kisses the other

He can just feel you against him, the way your head would tilt up to look at him, your eyes hazy and half-lidded. His cock buried so deep inside you as Eddie ate you out at the same time, occasionally licking the base of his dick 

He’s not sure how long he’s been staring into space, but you’re in front of him now, taking the towel from his hands before he rips it apart and setting it on the counter 

“I’ll come pick you up after work, Eddie” You give him a nervous smile and kiss him and he nuzzles his nose against yours before kissing you back

“Alright baby girl”

You look up at Buck, resting your hand on his arm and he shudders, a full body shudder as he feels your soft skin on his 

“You still coming for dinner tonight? It’s okay if you can’t” 

You give him an out, a way to not be sucked into whatever it is that’s about to happen. It’s okay if he doesn’t want to, you’d understand and it would hurt, but you’d understand if he couldn’t be in a relationship with you and Eddie. 

“I don’t know,” He says shakily and you nod, a little smile on your face as Eddie goes to walk you out. 

Eddie’s in the locker room later, changing into his civvies. He pulls his shirt down over his head and straightens it out. He and Buck haven’t talked since the whole kitchen debacle. In fact, Buck has been actively avoiding him for the last three hours and he’s starting to panic. 

That’s a lie, he’s been frantically texting you for the last three hours saying Buck won’t acknowledge him and he doesn’t know what to do about it and you’ve been frantically texting back, both of you in all caps, telling Eddie to be cool it’ll be fine just be cool and that you both have to be like normal about it! 

Eddie grabs his bag from his locker and shuts it

“Hey uh, Y/N is gonna be here soon, said she’s on her way” he waves his phone, sighing as Buck still doesn’t look at him. 

“So… I just. I want to apologize for earlier” 

Buck’s hands stall over the zipper of his bag 

“I, I might have- Okay well I know I probably crossed a line. I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have called you cute and-“

“Do you think I am?” Buck finally freaking talks just as they hear the truck’s horn honk from outside. He grabs his bag and starts to walk out and Eddie trails after him, a little dumbfounded

“Shit- I mean. Yeah. You are” 

Eddie opens the front door of the truck and leans against it, gesturing “You comin?” 

You perk up as you unbuckle your seatbelt to get in the back so Eddie can drive, Buck looks at you frowning a little 

“You changed?” 

You’re wearing one of your crop tops now instead of his shirt, in fact, you’ve got it nicely folded on your bed at home in order to give it back to him 

“Uh- yeah,” You say quietly and he shrugs as he pulls himself into the truck 

“Damn, I thought you looked nice in it.” 

The drive back is way less tense than it's been, the radio plays quietly in the background as the boys tell you about their days. You’re lying across the seat laughing as Eddie pulls into the driveway. Buck told you all about how Eddie slipped getting out of the truck and went rolling under it. 

“I could have been hurt!” He yells at you and Buck cackling as you’re walking away from him and to the house. You unlock the door and both boys toss their bags into the corner. Eddie's arms wrap around your waist again and he lifts you, you wrap your legs around his waist and smirk a little 

“We’ll be right back” Eddie’s already kissing your neck, his voice is muffled 

“Make yourself at home!” You say cheerfully like he doesn’t already have half his laundry here anyway as Eddie jogs back to your bedroom. You laugh as he kicks the door shut behind you and tosses you down on the bed. He pulls off his shirt and stands over you as you lay in bed with your legs open

“Did he say anything?” You ask quietly as he removes his pants next and throws them to the pile on the floor 

“He just asked If I thought he was cute” Eddie sighs. He crawls up the bed and rests between your legs, his body settling warmly against yours 

“Maybe you should tell him” You smooth his hair back, lifting his head so he’ll look at you. 

“You think so?” 

“Mhmmm” You purr as Eddie leans back down and kisses your chest, inhaling your sweet perfume. He slaps your thigh and drags himself out of bed, pulling on a clean T-shirt on over his head and winking back at you 

“Get dressed, come out when I text you” 

This was either going to go really really well or really really horribly and Eddie’s nervous as hell. It’s a step that Buck even came over right? Like- like he’s cool now, right? 

Eddie comes into the kitchen and grabs two beers, popping the lids. Buck comes in after him, running a hand through his hair and sighing as he takes the one Eddie offers 

“Thanks” 

Eddie nods silently as he leans against the counter. Buck is across from him, he’d changed in the guest room. His sweatpants hang low on his hips, drawing eddies eyes to the thin patch of skin that peeks out from under his shirt. Buck smirks a little, and toys with his shirt, pretending to be picking something off of it and raising it higher instead. Eddie lazily trails his eyes up his body, enjoying his toned physique then clears his throat

“I’ve seen the way you look at my girlfriend” 

Buck looks at him over his beer before setting it down on the counter “What do you mean?” He says it like he wasn’t just jerking off in the work bathroom earlier today. That was why he couldn’t face Eddie. He immediately ran away to the bathrooms after you’d left and got off to the images of you and Eddie both going down on him 

Eddie chuckles as he sets his phone down “You look at her the same way I do when I’m ready to fuck her brains out.. at least, that’s how you looked this afternoon anyway. Ive been watching you for a while, Buck. Don’t think I haven’t seen the way you melt when she’s hugging you or the way your eyes linger on her ass when I’ve got it in my hands” 

Buck gulps, looking away from him for a second “Okay, and?” 

“That’s all you’ve got to say?” 

You scoff a little as you come into the kitchen. Buck is a little distracted by the way your robe looks like you secretly murdered your old man husband and now you’re a young rich widow. Okay, it’s super distracting for a minute, until he finally really looks through the sheer material and you’re wearing very…very little. As in, some contraption of basically just ties wrapped around your body to simulate clothes, and a tiny little pair of crotch-less panties. The garters are a good touch. In fact, he’s sure that thin piece of lace is covering your body more than anything else is 

“I’m in love with you” Buck blurts out and Eddie snorts, going to the liquor cabinet and getting something a little stronger out and three shot glasses 

“Oh, we knew that, didn’t we baby girl?” He hands you a glass of clear liquid and you knock it back 

“We did,” You say cheerfully “I’m in love with you too” you admit a little more shyly than he had. Eddie passes him a glass and he immediately takes it, drinking it straight down with no hesitation.

“I’ve- I’ve felt so guilty. Eddie, I’m so sorry I didn’t- fuck I didn’t mean to fall for her man and I didn’t mean to fall for you either and-

“If you’re okay with it-“ Eddie interrupts him as he drinks his own and you start to refill the glasses “I’m into you too” 

“I’m more than okay with that” Buck laughs a little, holding his face in his hands and letting out a relieved sigh. It felt so good to finally get this off his chest, it had been months and it felt even better you two were completely on board. 

“Fuck I didn’t think this was how this was going to happen. Hell I never thought it would” 

“Do- is- is this something you want?” You ask, passing them their shots “Are…Are we something you want?”

Buck picks you up and sets you down on the counter, taking his shot and connecting his lips with yours. He tastes warm and spicy like whatever Eddie had you all drinking. Your arms automatically wrap around his neck and pull him closer. It’s a little messy and uncoordinated but you feel alive, it's the same way you feel with Eddie. 

He reaches over and entwines his fingers with Eddie’s, pulling him closer to the two of you 

“You’re something I want more than anything in this world” He whispers against your lips. He turns to Eddie now, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol and the intense emotions going through all of you 

“And so are you” 

You wriggle excitedly in his arms, watching the way he and Eddie stare at each other like they’re about to eat each other right in front of you. You rub your hands together, laughing evilly because fuck this is about to be a good night. Eddie rolls his eyes at you, shoving your head away and calling you a dork while you bat at his arm 

“You really sure you want into this???”

[artists-ally]

{Train Wreck} Cassian!sister x Azriel AU {Pt. 1}

Man it feels good to be back with this series again. If you're wondering why the title feels familiar, you might have read this before. I decided I wanted to pick it back up again, but I needed to make a few changes. So, here is the revised version of Train Wreck!! Feel free to re-read, there are some new things here and there, so it's definitely worth it!! Anyway, enjoy my loves! Part 2 will be up soon!! Title and series inspired by this song!

Word Count: 8,587

Warnings: angst, language, traumatized characters (will come into play later in the series, you've been warned now), abandonment,

Tagging: @thelov3lybookworm @needylilgal022 @librafairy @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @sarawritestories @claireswritingcorner @dawneternal @ninthcircleofprythian @blessthepizzaman @lady-of-tearshed @pit-and-the-pen

Summary: After six years, this is the first time Ira and her brother Cassian have been in the same room. Under less than ideal circumstances, they're forced to meet again. Will Ira be able to forgive Cassian for the way he left things? Will she be able to trust the new friends she makes? Will she ever be able to open up to her brothers hot-shot best friend?

~~~~~

“He’s going to say no.” No response from the peanut gallery in the front seat. “Seriously, he’s not going to be okay with this. You might as well let me out of the car now.”

“Will you just be quiet?” Arthur snapped, eyes locking with mine from the rearview mirror. “Need I remind you that this is your fault. You’ve left us with no other option.”

“I told you, it wasn’t me. That was–” “Cal, I remember the story. And that’s all that it is. A story, a fabrication that Arthur and I are no longer going to be entangled in. You may be able to fool the police with that lie, but you can’t fool us, Ira,” Dana snapped, whirling around to shoot me some daggers. She couldn’t look intimidating if she tried; her face was like a bunny, and every time she frowned it just looked like she smelled something rotten.

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. There was no way he was going to take me. We hadn’t spoken in almost six years, I didn’t even know he was alive until three months ago when I heard about his engagement.

Fourteen years of growing up together meant nothing to him, I guess.

The big, riverside house came into view at the end of an equally impressive driveway. A shame for whoever had to go and collect the mail every morning. 

“Stay here, in the car,” Arthur barked. 

I opened the door and got out of the car, kicking a few stones. Man this place was flashy; a big fountain in the circular driveway, a line of cars over by a garage. Not to mention the very obvious multi-million dollar mansion that never seemed to end.

“Lord, give me the strength to not strangle this child,” Arthur sighed, marching to the front door. I snickered, he was always so uptight.

“Not a child, Arthur,” I countered. “I’m fucking twenty years old.”

“Give it a rest, Ira. We’re trying to help you since you clearly don’t understand the basic human morals of being a functioning member of society,” Dana said, opening the trunk, catching a bag as it tumbled from the stack.

“Sorry that I don’t like to conform to the idealistic fantasy that is modern society.” 

Turns out it’s hard to get a job with a criminal record. ‘We can’t hire a liability’ this and ‘we won’t have delinquents running our business’ that. So, I had to get creative with my… places of employment. It had been a fantastic plan. Brilliant even. Just something simple to save a few bucks so I could move out of this god forsaken place. But it got fucked up. Bad. And ended up with me in handcuffs.

This was my punishment. Instead of serving six months in county jail, I’m instead being dumped at this doorstep. Just what I always wanted. Knowing if I ever go back to the shithole I called home I’ll be arrested with a warrant.

I’ll never go in on a deal with someone ever again. 

“Get your stuff,” Dana dropped a few things to the ground. 

I came around the side of the car and heard the door open, and that lovely voice of his ring through my head. 

Great. This is going to go fantastic.

“Arthur? W-What are you doing here?” he said, a hiccup to his voice. 

“Cassian, good to see you,” the old man grinned, extending his hand. I watched through the windows of the van, saw Cassian stare at Arthurs hand and do nothing with it. “We uhh… we have something for you.”

“I don’t understand. How’d you find me?”

I could hear the crunch of gravel and I knew what was about to happen. Any second now I was about to come face to face with the douchebag I was dreading. I won’t lie, some small, juvenile part of me wished for him to be happy to see me. But I know it’s not gonna happen. 

“Dana? What the fuck is going on? Why are you here? How did you-”

“She’s not the surprise, Cass,” Arthur clapped him on the shoulder and walked to the back of the car. I didn’t miss the way he shuddered. 

There was a sharp yank on my elbow and I was pulled from the safety of my hiding spot. I jerked away from his grip, fixing the sleeve on my favorite jacket. Then I looked up. Fuck he’s…

“Ira…” He blinked several times, as if he could ever mistake me for someone else. Then I watched the color drain from his face. “It’s uhh… it’s been a while.” “Don’t give me that shit,” I couldn’t be bothered to be pleasant. Nothing about this would be fucking pleasant.

Cassian looked from Arthur to Dana, then back to me. And to the duffle bag that I was holding on to. I could see him connecting the dots inside his thick-ass skull. “No. No no no–”

“Cassian, she needs someone to look after her,” Dana expressed, chasing after him when he turned around. 

“You cannot just plop her on my doorstep like some stray dog,” Cass shouted, throwing his arms in the air and all around.

“She’s your sister, for fucks sake,” Arthur joined. “She needs you to look after her. Since you left, Ira has done nothing but cause me headaches and gray hairs.”

“I’m right here, you know,” I walked over, throwing the bag down. “And I’d appreciate if you talked about me like a fucking human being, not some gag gift that is always shuffled around Christmas because no one wants it.”

“This is fucking ridiculus. I cannot take you in, Ira. I have too much going on.”

“Some things never change,” I huffed. “See, I told you he wouldn’t give me the time of day. You’re still the same selfish, self-centered asshole you’ve always been.”

“Don’t talk like that to your goddamn brother,” Arthor yelled, spit flying onto my cheek. It took every ounce of self restraint to not rip his fucking throat out. Do not stoop to his level, Ira. Calm the fuck down.

“Cass? What’s going on?” Someone called

Cassian scrunched his face, and my eyes went to the door. A pretty woman was standing there with her arms folded. She had a scowl on her face and narrow eyes. Her long brown hair was braided over her shoulder. 

He heaved a sigh, rubbing his eyes. “Nothing, these people were just leaving.”

“Who’s here?” Another voice, a man, asked next. He was tall, had black hair and really deep blue eyes. They actually looked violet in the light. He was just as tall as Cassian when he came next to his side. The woman, with the most terrifying gaze I’ve ever seen, stood on his other side. 

Cassian muttered something under his breath and rubbed his forehead. “This is Arthur and Dana. My foster parents from years ago. And this… this is my sister.”

“Your sister?” Both of them exclaimed at the same time. 

He didn’t even tell them about me… 

I stand there, shocked to my core. God I knew he was an asshole, but he never once mentioned me? What a fucking–

“They were just–” “Come in come in,” the man stepped down and shook Arthur's hand. “I am Rhysand, call me Rhys. Welcome, we are so pleased to have you. Cassian never mentioned having visitors today.”

“It wasn’t planned,” Dana let out the fakest laugh I’ve ever heard. She was one of those people who, when nervous, laughed after every sentence. I’ve come to despise the sound. 

“No, Rhys,” Cassian shook his head. “They are not welcome. Take your fucking shit, take your goddamn bags, and go. You’re not allowed back here.”

At least that’s something we could both agree on. Neither side of this party wanted to be here. The feeling was mutual. 

“Welp, you heard the man,” I clapped my hands together. “Sorry to disrupt your whole life, to remind you that I still exist but we’ll go now. We all know that you don’t want the responsibility anyway. You didn’t want it six years ago, so why would that change today?”

“You know goddamn well that if I had a choice I would’ve–”

“Okay, okay can we cool it a couple degrees here? Someone better start explaining what is going on,” the man, Rhys, said. He put an arm between Cassian and I. I wasn’t sure when I got in his face, but he might want to remove the barrier before it gets ripped off. 

There were a couple too many silent heart beats, but both of us backed down. Cassian glanced at Arthur and Dana, taking a deep breath. I watched his chest rise and fall. 

In for four, out for four. In for five, out for five…

A lump rose in my throat. 

I could practically hear the conversation between Cassian and Rhys. This silent exchange of glances and body language I’m sure I’d never understand. But then Cassian backed down. Literally, he took a step back, hands on his hips.

“Would you guys like to stay for dinner?” Rhys asked Arthur and Dana.

Dinner? Dinner? Oh fuuuuck no. The four of us haven’t been in a room together for six years, and this crackhead just asked if we wanted to have dinner?

“We would be delighted,” Dana accepted, shooting me a look from head to toe. “Since it’s still midday, would you mind showing us around the property? It looks gorgeous.”

“Certainly,” Rhys says, offering his elbow. Dana latches on like a lost duckling, Arthur trailing after her. 

And then there were two. 

I looked up at the clouds, finding no discernible shapes amongst them. Welp. Here fucking goes nothing. 

“Lovely weather we’re having.”

“Do not,” he pointed at me. “You are not staying here, whenever this little tour is over, you’re gone with them.”

“Gladly.” 

“How the fuck did you guys find me anyway?” His eyes were full of rage. Full of hate. Full of resentment.

“It's amazing the things you can find with twenty bucks and a library computer.”

“You hacked into a library system and stalked me?” Cassian was dumbfounded.

I just smirked. “It wasn’t that hard, don’t give yourself too much credit. Kinda hard to hide somewhere when your face is plastered all over your website. ‘Velaris Hotel and Casino’ has a catchy ring to it, come up with it yourself?”

“I swear to god if I ever see you set foot in my hotel or my casino you’re gonna regret it. I cannot believe you hunted me down.”

“And I cannot believe you abandoned me,” I screamed. Years and years of pent up aggression. Years and years of shower thoughts and late nights wondering what I’d say to him when this moment came. And every single thing I’ve thought of has flown out the fucking window. 

Cassian had the gull to roll his eyes. I almost smacked him across the face. 

“Yo, are you coming inside or what?” A third voice sounded. God, how many people live in this fucking house?

A petite, blonde girl was in the doorway, her eyes bouncing between us. 

“Well? You gonna invite me in or is that privilege only reserved for Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dumb?” I asked, rocking back and forth on my heels. 

He looked me head to toe, and I got that same feeling as when Dana did it. Just raw disgust. 

“Break anything and I’ll murder you.”

“I’m thinking you’re gonna murder me regardless but eye-eye-captain,” I nodded, following behind his solid frame. 

The house was absolutely massive. I thought shit like this only existed in movies, not… wherever the fuck we were. Certainly not my normal run-down streets I was used to, and certainly not somewhere I ever thought Cassian was going to end up. 

There were cabinets filled with fine dishes and a chandelier hanging in the front entrance. There was a massive living room with the biggest TV and couch I’ve ever seen. Same with the kitchen and the dining room, which was being prepped by maids. Legit, actual maids. For fucks sake could this get any stranger?

Cassian took a left and went up a set of stairs. Classic Cass, running away at any chance he gets. My phone buzzed in my pocket. 

Cal: your a piece of shit I hope you know that

Me: You’re* but it’s fine.

Cal: i cannot believe you fucking left me

Me: Whoops. Sorry bud, I couldn’t stick around. You dicked me over so… guess that karma’s a bitch.

Cal: you know im bad with names

Me: WE USED EACH OTHERS MOTHER FUCKER. HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO FORGET MY NAME

Cal: hopefully pretty fucking easy because i don’t ever want to fucking see you ever again fuck you ira

Me: Right back atcha, asshole.

The only person that I had remotely trusted was out of my life. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure I’ve ever had someone to trust. There were plenty of things I never told Cal. Plenty of things I kept hidden for my own safety. It was a strictly need-to-know partnership. I always got a little weary when he started asking too many questions. 

And I learned pretty fucking quick you can’t trust your own blood either. 

Lesson learned. Always. Trust. Your. Gut. 

I trailed behind Dana and Arthur, always five steps behind, close enough to hear, but far enough to make an escape should I need to. 

“Oh, and this is my wife Feyre. My darling, this is Arthur, Dana, and Ira, Cassian’s foster parents and his sister,” Rhys spared me a glance and I scrunched my face. Had Cassian really never bothered to tell them about me?

“Wow,” she had a small smile on her pretty face. Why was everyone here so pretty? “You look just like him. You both have the same eyes. And the same hair.”

“Great, what I’ve always wanted to be. Cassian's clone.” I couldn’t stop the eye roll.

“Ira,” Dana hissed. “Some manners?”

“Thank you, your Royal Highness.”

Dana smacked her forehead, mumbling something about gray hairs and a headache again. I chuckled. I thought it was funny. Especially the curtsy. 

“They are staying for dinner, I’ll let them know to set a few extra plates,” Rhys said.

“Good, I wouldn’t mind getting to know some of Cassian’s family,” Feyre nodded, that small smile still on her lips. We had all meandered outside to look at their yard, at the fountain in the front of the house. 

To no one's surprise, there was a matching one in the back by the pool. 

We all went inside after seeing the yard, but Cassian lingered at the back of the pack. While Rhys took Dana and Arthur around to the kitchen, Cassian yanked me–why was everyone throwing me around?–into a room off to the side. 

“What the fuck did you do this time?” Off to a great start.

“Wow, Cassie-”

“Do not call me that.” 

He used to hate it when I called him Cassie. Especially around his friends because they would make fun of him for days after. 

“No hi, how are you? No ‘it's good to see that my sister is alive and doing well?’” “Clearly not well enough since they dragged you all the way out here.” Cassian’s eyes were full of fire. Looks like he still had that canyon of a line between his bushy-ass-eyebrows when he was upset. 

“You don’t know anything of what I’ve had to endure the last six fucking years without you.”

“What. Did. You. Do?”

I swallowed, I hated when he scolded me. “It wasn’t even that bad. They just gave me community service.” I lied out of my ass.

“Jesus Christ, Ira. What did they want to give you?” Cassian shouted for the whole house to hear. 

“Doesn’t matter, I got myself out of it. Like I always do, without your fucking help. I am capable of taking care of myself without you.”

“Yeah you seem to be doing a swell job,” Cassian looked me up and down, clearly judging my tangled hair and ripped up jeans that I’ve probably had since middle school. “I thought all of this was behind you, Ira. When I left you were-”

“Abandoned. You didn’t leave, you abandoned me.”

Cassian relaxed his shoulders. “You know if I could’ve taken you with me I would’ve.”

“No you wouldn’t have.” I was waiting for him to argue, to deny that fact. But he didn’t, and his haunting silence was enough of an answer. I scoffed, a hard, bitter noise. “You know I don’t blame you, no one would want to take a juvenile delinquent anywhere, especially somewhere like this place.”

“Ira-” “Save you’re fucking breath, Cass. You don’t have to pretend around me, you’ve never had to. Just play along with it for one night and I’ll be gone by the morning. Then I won’t have to be your liability to shoulder ever again.”

I didn’t wait around to see his response. Somewhere deep inside I was actually excited to see him. To meet the person my scrawny, gangly brother had turned into. Now he was… a man. Like a real man. I never thought I’d see him with long hair, but here we are.

He looked healthy. He looked happy. For fucks sake he was engaged. Albeit to the most terrifying looking woman I’ve ever seen, but they looked like they somehow worked.

I found Dana and Arthur with glasses of wine around a large table, two other women that I hadn’t met yet. 

“Ahh, this is her,” Rhys stood up, putting his hands on my shoulders. I immediately shrugged them off. “This is Ira, Cassian’s sister.”

“After all this time,” the pretty blonde woman spoke, looking at me from head to toe. “Who knew Cassian could keep you a secret.”

“You look just like him,” a girl who looked similarly to Feyre said, eyes wide. “I’m Elain. And that’s Morrigan.”

“Mor is fine, dear,” Mor smiled, coming over to me and Rhys. “Would you like to see the rest of the house?”

“Not really,” I grimace, but she linked her elbow with mine anyway, dragging me away. “I know that look. You’re overwhelmed. Follow me.”

I thought I was doing a good job at masking it. “You don’t know the fucking half of it.”

“I know Elain said this already, but fuck you look like Cassian,” she laughed, opening a room and revealing a giant bed with a balcony on the other side of some french doors. 

“It gets really fucking annoying,” I rolled my eyes. 

“Understood,” she nodded, not pushing it. “This is my room, you can go out on the balcony if you need some fresh air. Or the bathroom, whatever you want.”

This entire room was as big as the trailer I grew up in. I’ve never seen such a big bed, or a big closet. Jesus, she could have the entirety of Macy’s in there. 

She must’ve caught me staring at it cause she walked over and flipped on the light. “Wanna take a look?”

I snapped back to her, shaking my head. I shoved my hands in my pockets, digging my nails into my palms. Everything in here was so pristine, and I was so… not. I didn’t wanna step anywhere but the hardwood floor.

“I like your jacket, those are some really cool patches,” she smiled, taking a closer look. She reached out and touched one, the blue plaid square fraying at the edges. 

It was a cut out of Cassian’s flannel he left behind…

“Thanks,” I nodded, ignoring the lump in my throat. “I’ve spent a lot of time making them.”

“That's so cool, I have zero creative ability,” Mor sighed as she flopped back on the bed. 

“Neither do I, just something to pass the time, I guess?” I took my hands out of my pockets, digging some grime out from under my nails. 

I could feel her eyes on me. That tension. Knowing she’s about to say something. 

“Look, I know it’s not my place to ask, but–”

“Then don’t ask. Cause I’m not saying shit,” I said bluntly. “Sorry if that's rude but I don’t know you and you clearly don’t know me so… I don’t need the whole ‘I know what you’re going through’ speech. You don’t. No one does. Not even myself.”

Mor nodded, sitting up, propping her arms behind her back. “I’m a little pissed at Cassian too.”

My eyes snapped to hers. “Why?”

“Because he has never once mentioned you? I know some of where he came from, of bouncing around the foster system, about ‘siblings’ but… he never went into detail. I just assumed they were all other kids in the system, you know? If he would’ve mentioned something about you, trust me, we would have not waited this long to be introduced.”

That… makes me feel slightly better. 

“There's not much to know about me. I’m a fucking nuisance to basically everyone. Especially to Cassian, Arthur, and Dana apparently.”

“What the fuck is their problem?” Mor scoffs, folding her arms over her chest. 

“I don’t know. Well– of course I know, it’s me. I’m their fucking problem and they’re trying to get rid of me. I made a dumb fucking decision, but I already did my fucking time. I don’t want anything to do with Cassian so I’m not sure why they’re dragging him into this mess.” 

Mor just looked at me sorrowfully. Fuck, why did I say that? I don’t want her pity. I can’t pretend she cares about me. 

She got off the bed and stood in front of me. She was shorter than I was, but not by a whole lot. 

“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like. I know it’s fucking awful what they’re making you do, so I don’t blame you for wanting to hide. Help yourself to anything you need.”

And then she was gone. Blonde hair bobbing with her steps. 

This isn’t fucking happening. I’m not in some strange girls room, alone nonetheless, in a different city hundreds of miles away from my familiar streets. I was not about to be abandoned here by Arthur and Dana because they couldn’t stand to take care of me anymore. Not the first, not the second, but the third time I’ve been abandoned. 

Man this is some fucking bullshit. 

I just looked around, envying all of this. It was all hers. All this space, all these things. All these clothes and dresses and jewelry boxes… Why can’t I have these things?

I swallow my tears. I’m so fucking pathetic, why am I about to cry? This is so stupid. Everything about this is stupid. 

I head to the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face. 

A plan flickers to life in my brain. I know for a fact they’re going to sneak out and leave me and all my shit here. But, I’ll just leave in the middle of the night. Who the fuck is gonna stop me? No one. Who cares if I leave? Also no one. 

I won’t make the same mistake that Cassian did. When I disappear, no one will be able to find me.

I took a long look at myself in the mirror. My tired eyes, my tangled, ratty hair. But I could see it… the resemblance between him and I. The same eyes. Same nose. Same hair. I’ll never be able to unsee it now. 

Okay, Ira. just a few more hours and you're done. Done for good. You can change your name and move to Puerto Rico or something. Paris. Wherever you want to go. Well, you don’t know how to speak Spanish or French, which might be important but… that's why they have translating apps, right? You’ll be fine. You always are.

When I got back downstairs, there was a light chatter in the air. But it stopped the second I walked in the room. 

My hood was quick to go over my head. No one spoke as I sat down and poured some water from the pitcher into my glass. 

Thankfully conversation between Rhys, Feyre, and Dana resumed and the silence wasn’t eating me alive. I took out my phone and scrolled through instagram, posting a picture of a lake I had taken on the drive up here. Just like all the other posts, it wouldn’t get any likes. 

“How do all of you know each other?” Arthur asked. 

“Well I met Cassian when we were in high school, as well as our other friend Azriel,” Rhys started. “We made a deal with each other that when we graduate, we would do everything in our power to become the most powerful business owners we could. As you can see, that little pact is working quite well.” “How long have you lived here?” Dana asked next, clearly eyeing up Rhys. 

“For about three years now?” Mor answered, Rhys nodded. “We kind of all found each other on the same paths and stuck together. We sort of own and share everything around here.”

“That is lovely,” Dana smiled. “And what do you do?”

“I own a casino and a neighboring hotel,” Rhys smiled. The moment I had learned about this hotel and casino, alarm bells rang in my ears. The devil's playground, and it was calling my name. Maybe I’d hit up for a few poker hands. “Cassian runs the whole thing, and Azriel kind of has his own thing.”

“Who’s Azriel?” Arthur unfolded the napkin and laid it across his lap. 

“He is our other friend,” Cassian butted in, lips pressed in that line that I remembered. “He’ll be by later.”

“Great,” I rolled my eyes. “More people.”

“Will you please be polite for once in your life?” Dana whisper-yelled, clearly not being discrete enough since everyone looked at us. 

I just shut my mouth, grinding my teeth. It’s not worth it, it's not worth it, I told myself. A few moments later, a large tray with some type of bird on it came out. It was too big to be a chicken, but too small to be a turkey? Duck maybe? I don’t know, it didn’t matter. It was food. 

Everyone around me took their time while I ate like a heathen. Putting a little bit of everything on my plate and scarfing it down like someone was going to take it away from me. Guess I’m taking on the stray dog title pretty well. 

“So, Ira. What do you like to do?” Mor asked me. 

I don't know what part of my hood being pulled over my head gave off ‘I want to be a part of this conversation’, but here we go I guess. 

“I have many hobbies.” I could see Cassian’s eyes narrow from across the table. 

“Like?” Rhys stuck a green bean in his mouth.

“Uhh, f-fashion. And I’m very good at handling money. Other people's money. As well as picking locks and hotwiring cars-”

“She’s joking,” Cassian gave the fakest laugh– besides Dana’s– that I’ve ever heard. “We used to play cops and robbers when we were little, she always wanted to be the robber.”

“Did I?”

“Yes,” he practically growled. “You did.”

This was crazy. This was actually crazy to be doing this right now. If I had any particular feeling about the things I did, guilty and ashamed were not some of them. Who gave a fuck if I stole from Walmart or faked being a waitress to make a few extra bucks? If anything they should be thanking me for the extra set of hands. Which they didn’t have to pay for. 

It wasn’t like I stole the Mona Lisa for fucks sake. 

“I guess I did.” 

“What was Cassian like growing up? I can only imagine some of the stories you have,” Nesta chimed in from next to Cassian.

“I have a few. One time, Cassian was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich-”

“Do not-”

“And he thought that the peanut butter was in the fridge for some reason. Turns out he grabbed a bottle of dijon mustard and used that instead. He took one bite and threw up everywhere. It took Dana a week to get the smell out of the kitchen.”

Everyone grimaced, poking fun at Cassian for making a jelly-mustard sandwich. “I guess that explains the nausea every time I make one.”

“You still can’t stomach even the smell?” My eyes were a little wide. That had to have been from when we were still in elementary school.

“Nope,” Cassian’s tone was harsh, fork forceful as it went into his mouth. 

“What is everyone laughing about?” A new voice said from over my shoulder. When I turned to look… holy mother of Jesus fucking–

“Azriel,” Rhys, still in a fit of laughter. “Listen to this: Ira, Cassian’s sister, told us why he runs for the hills every time he sees peanut butter.”

“S-Sister?” 

I could not have ignored the exchange between Cass and Azriel if I tried. Those alarm bells from earlier? They were deafening now. Much like Cassian and Rhys earlier, their eyes and body gestures were like a language in and of itself. Impossible to understand, but something was said. 

“Azriel, this is my sister. Ira,” Cassian gestured to me without looking. “This is Azriel. And my foster parents, Arthur and Dana.”

I held Azriel’s gaze for a second. I couldn’t quite figure out what his problem was, but he better not have one with me. I challenged his gaze, but he refused to back down. 

Azriel gave a not-so-subtle look at me, but didn’t say anything as he moved to sit with us. A sharp kick to my shin had me wincing. When I looked up, Cassian met my heated gaze. 

Don’t even think about it, he mouthed, glare set so deep in his eyes I wasn't sure his eye lids would peel off his face. 

One raise of my eyebrow told him I was up for the challenge. I could see his jaw clench, and that only made me want to push his buttons. 

I managed to break my vice hold on Cassian and look at Azriel from across the table. He had these lighter colored eyes, hazel I think. And a dark mess of hair. He wore a fitted black athletic tee, and black sweats with a Nike swoosh on the hip. I think I stared a little too long, cause when I looked back up at his face, he sent me a wink. 

I damn near gagged. He wishes. 

“And you’re engaged? That’s wonderful, Cassian. I am so happy for you,” Dana gushed while looking at Nesta’s ring. “Congratulations, you two. Do you have a date picked out?”

“No,” Nesta said sternly. “We are just going to wait things out. Until both of us feel ready.”

Cassian nodded, not offering up any words. 

“What would you guys like for dessert?” Rhys asked, listing off a few options. I stopped paying attention after chocolate cake because who would want to hear anything else?

“I’m afraid we better get on the road, it is a long drive back to our home. Thank you for dinner, it was delicious,” Arthur stood up from the table, shaking Rhys’s hand. “Cassian, a word, please?”

With a deep breath, Cassian stood up and followed the old man out of the room. 

“Okay, now that he’s gone, can we all agree that there is something wrong with him? I’ve never seen him so… so rigid in my life,” Mor blew out air from her lips, shaking her head. 

I offered a tad bit of insight. “Dana and Arthur are kind of fed up with me so they’re just gonna take off. And leave me here. But don’t worry, I’m just gonna find a bus stop in the morning and be gone before any of you wake up. No biggie.”

The room was silent except for my fork scratching on the plate. When I looked up, everyone was looking at me funny.

“Ira, what? They’re gonna leave you here?” Mor gasped.

“It is a long story. And they think I need a role model to get my life together. Why Cassian is that role model I’ll never understand because the last I knew of him he was just as irresponsible as I was.”

Rhys took a sip of wine, “How long has it been since you’ve seen each other?”

“Six years. But I mean you all probably know him better than I ever did so, might wanna ask that prick why he abandoned me.” I took a big piece of this chocolate cake into my mouth. “Fuck, this is good.”

“What happened?” Feyre prodded.

“We are lightyears away from you being able to ask that,” I laughed. “No offense but, it’s none of your fucking business.”

Again, the room was silent, except for a small snort at the end of the table. It wasn’t Elain because she was so red she looked like she was gonna pass out. And the only other one was Azriel. 

“Hint taken,” Rhys pressed his lips in a flat line. “Well, you are Cassian’s family, so you are always welcome in our home.”

“Trust me, I don’t want to be here any more than you want me to be. I’ll figure it out, I always have. It’ll be like I was never here,” I took another forkful and shoved it in. Damn, I was gonna miss this cake. “So, Rhys, you own a casino and a hotel. What do the rest of you do?”

I’ll pretend like I care for my own amusement.  

“Well, Cassian runs the casino and hotel,” Rhys pointed out again. “Azriel owns and runs the adjacent club. We basically have our own empire here.”

“Sounds riveting,” I rolled my eyes. “What about you Mor.”

“I am the best fucking bartender this place has seen,” she grinned. “And I model here and there.” “Wonderful.” So she’s a princess. Got it. 

“I have an art studio. I teach classes and do some workshops,” Feyre said. “But most of the time I am at home with our son Nyx. He is… he’s a handful. A spoiled handful.”

“Hey,” Mor said, “to be fair, he is the first kid in our group, what did you expect?”

“He’s barely two, he doesn’t need designer clothes that he won’t fit into after a few months anyway. It's a waste of money.”

“Feyre, darling, I don’t know if you’ve looked around, but we kind of have a lot of money. It could use some wasting,” Rhys patted her thigh under the table. 

I can only hope to have enough financial security to be able to say sentences like that. They could probably retire right now, all of them, and never make a dent in their fortune. Lucky bastards. 

“What is it that you do, Ira?” Azriel poked his head from around Mor. 

“Oh,” I sputtered. What the hell was I supposed to say? Certainly the fact that I commit petty crimes won’t go over well. “I’ve had a lot of jobs. I don’t have a set career yet.”

“So hot-wiring cars is just a hobby then?” 

A stream of water shot out of Mor’s mouth and onto the table. How did he even hear that?

“It’s a skill. Don’t come crying to me when your battery dies and you don’t wanna pay a hundred and fifty dollars for AAA to come and pick up your ass,” I deflected. Another skill I had built up over the years. 

“And the locks?” Wow, he was kind of an asshole with supersonic hearing. I could see why he and Cassian hung around together. 

“I was a locksmith,” I mustered up my best smile and scooted my chair so I was sitting at an angle.

“Ah, so it wasn’t just the ‘cops and robbers’ you and Cassie used to play growing up. Good to know,” Azriel wiped the corners of his mouth with his napkin. He stood up, saying something about having to leave because he had to open up. 

Just as he was walking by, I stuck my toe into the walkway and he tripped over me. Azriel all but went through the wall, Cassian coming around at the last second and catching his arm. 

“You alright?” He asked as Azriel straightened himself out. 

“Yup. Fine.” The glare he gave me sent a smirk curling at my lips. Two can play that game, mother fucker. 

I, very gracefully, scratched the corner of my nose with my middle finger. He got the message. But so did Cassian.

“Your stuff is in the driveway. Go get it and meet me upstairs.” Cassian looked so pissed off. His shoulders were pinned to his ears again as he stalked away, that silence settling back in the room. 

“Guess that’s my cue to get a move on. Thank you everyone, a pleasure to meet you all,” I said with a genuine tone. They were all cool.  

The three duffle bags and backpack were not light as I carried them up the stairs, trying not to knock over all the decorations and pictures on the wall. One of them didn’t survive. It crashed all the way down and shattered on the hardwood floor. Cassian cursed from somewhere. 

With a thud, I let go of all the bags in some random room at the end of the hall. It was barely big enough to call a hobbit hole. There wasn’t a window or a real bed, just some cot with a pillow and a blanket. “Glamourous.”

“It’s the best that I could do,” Cassian all but rolled his eyes. 

“A couch would’ve been better,” I plopped down on the taught fabric, bouncing a little. “Sorry about the frame.” “It’s fine,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, Ira I’m sorry about how I left you.” “Yeah well apologies don’t mean a fucking thing to me unless you fix it, Cassian,” I folded my arms over my chest. “And for the record, I would’ve understood if you would’ve just fucking told me what was going on. Instead, not only did you not tell me, you ghosted me.” I just blinked up at him, waiting for an explanation. “Well?”

Nothing. Not even a strangled breath. “I just had to.”

“That’s the best you can do? Are you seriously still that fucking thick in the head?” “I didn’t have a choice, Ira,” he shouted. 

“Yes,” I nodded. “You absolutely had a choice. You could’ve at least left me a fucking note with a number on it so I could talk to you. You were all I had, Cass. All I fucking had and you just disappeared. What did you expect me to do?”

Cassian shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I-I don’t know. I thought you’d get yourself together and make it out too. Build your own empire, like the one we have here.”

“In case you forgot, I didn’t get to finish school like you did.”

“Well that’s not my fault.”

The fucking nerve. I stood up, barely coming to his chest, and smacked him across the face. His head jerked to the side, and his mouth fell open. I shoved him into the wall on the other side of the hallway and he fell into it. 

“You are a piece of fucking shit Cassian.”

“Ira–” “Did you really think that I would end up alright without you there? Could you really be that fucking stupid?”

“I didn’t think that–”

“Of course you didn’t. You never have. You’ve only ever thought about yourself and what would benefit you. You never gave a shit about me, I was just a burden you couldn’t get rid of.” “That’s not true,” he gritted his teeth. 

“Tell me that I am not a constant reminder of dad. Or mom. Tell me.” I waited for a response. When nothing came, I felt the nausea roll through my body. “You are one sorry son of a bitch Cassian.”

“Jesus Ira you think I wanted to abandon you?” “You haven’t given me one other reason to believe anything different,” I was screaming now. I didn’t care if anyone else heard. “The last memory I have of you is seeing you packing a fucking bag and climbing out your window, what else am I supposed to believe about you?”

A door clicked open, and Azriel emerged. He looked at us with raised eyebrows. “Everything alright?” 

No, you fucking prick. 

“Just re-kindling our sibling rivalry,” I gave a mocking look, staring down Azriel. “Mind your own damn business. This doesn’t concern you.”

“Ira,” Cassian said, somewhat appalled. 

“Just fuck off, Cassian,” I waved my hand at him. “Like I said, I’ll be gone in the morning and you don’t ever have to worry about making it up to me again because you won’t be able to. Hope you are happy living in your perfect little bubble with your perfectly little circle. Hope they’re all more important to you than I ever was.”

I slammed the door shut quicker than he could get a response out, leaning against it. I hadn’t ever realized that I was shaking.

Whatever. Fuck him too. I don’t need Cassian. I haven’t needed him for the past six years. God, has it really been that long?

There was no use in unpacking so I just piled the bags in the corner of the room. And there was also nothing to do besides lay down simply because there wasn’t enough room to do anything else. 

Maybe when everyone has gone to sleep, or home, I’ll go sneak around. Take something just to piss him off. Nothing too valuable, but something really inconvenient like all the salt and pepper shakers or all the spoons. 

Or one of the Corvettes in the driveway.

My mind was racing with thoughts, but eventually I had fallen asleep because the sun was peeking through the crack under my door. I stirred and sat up, sighing loudly. 

I changed into a hoodie and some other jeans, slipping my jacket on knowing it'll be chilly. 

With far more precision, I made it downstairs to the front door. It unlocked easily, thankfully no alarm system went off. The crisp morning greeted me and I slipped out silently. 

Fuck, this driveway was long. Couldn’t they be normal and have a normal fucking sized driveway? It was so unnecessary. 

And of course there was nothing at the end of it. Just the road and nothing else. Not another house or anything. Who knows how far it could be until a bus station. Hopefully this place wasn’t filled with a bunch of weirdos and I wouldn’t get kidnapped. 

The thought of carrying all these bags for miles would tear up my back and shoulders. I didn’t have that much but… I needed all of it. 

“Ira!”

I whirled around and saw a Cassian shaped silhouette coming down the driveway. Oh great. 

“Come to demand I pay for the broken frame?” “Stay.”

What? “What?”

Cassian breathed heavily, “Stay. I-I am so sorry for what I said. And you’re right, I don’t ever think of anyone other than myself. And I’m sorry I never told you where I was going. I want to fix it, but I can’t if you don’t at least let me try.”

I dropped the bags, totally not believing what I was hearing. “And what if I don’t give a flying fuck if you want to or not?”

Cassian completely deflated. “Please, Ira. I made a promise to mom and dad that I would look after you. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I don’t feel like a piece of shit for what I did. I miss you.”

So what if he made a promise to mom and dad? He made a promise to me. To always stick together. To always be there. He hung me out to dry before I even had a chance to notice. His apology means nothing. His desperation means nothing. 

I fucking hated Cassian. More than anything right now I wanted to watch him be boiled alive. Could he really even help me anyway? What was the fucking point of any of this? I was already humiliated, and dragging innocent people into my bullshit surely didn’t help. 

I sucked in a big breath, hiking my bag up on my shoulder, ready to bolt. “Why should I?”

“Because what other option do you realistically have?” 

“That is not fair,” I flare my nostrils. “You have no right to waltz back into my life and pretend you give a shit about me.”

“You were the one who was dropped on my doorstep,” Cassian pointed out, making my stomach drop. 

“You know, you’re doing a shit job at showing that you legitimately want me to stay, asshole.” I was getting a little angry. Good things did not happen when I felt betrayed. “And for the record, I tried to talk them out of bringing me here, but they went around me and got a fucking court order. So, whether you want to believe it or not, it was not my choice to be here. I can’t even go back with Dana and Arthur because there will be a warrant out for my arrest.”

“Shit…” Cassian dragged a hand over his face. “Ira I’m-”

“Sorry? I know. But you lost the privilege of my forgiveness long ago. It is gonna take a hell of a lot more than ‘I’m sorry’ to fix what you’ve done to me.”

“I know, I know,” Cassian softened his eyes and his voice, standing tall in front of me. “Just… give me something. Anything, and I will never betray you ever again.”

Should I believe him? I have no fucking idea what to do. All my senses are telling me to run and don’t look back, but that gaping pit in my stomach that formed when he left seems a little less… gaping.  

This was gonna be a rough fucking time. Nothing about this is going to be easy, but… he was right. I didn’t have another option. Prison, if I really was desperate, but I didn’t quite feel like losing all my basic human rights.

If he wanted me to stay, there were going to have to be some sacrifices on his end.

Maybe a little room for petty behavior. 

“I want a real fucking room.” I demanded

“Any one in the house.”

“I want yours.”

“Absolutely not,” Cassian furrowed his brow. “Plus, I don’t even live here anymore. Just Rhys, Feyre and Nyx. Nesta, Azriel and I live in the next town.”

“So what, you all just visit together and pretend to be a big happy family?” I scoffed, kicking a stone. 

“We don’t pretend, Ira,” he didn’t say it rudely, but more matter of fact-ly. And he looked at me like I had never known what a family was. I guess he forgot that when he left it kind of ruined me. Or again maybe he just didn’t care what it would do to me back then. 

Cassian looked sad. Not depressed or upset, just sad. 

“Your room or I’m gonna walk away right now.” There was no room for negotiating in my voice. I could see the conflict in his eyes, but with a sigh he gave in. 

“Fine, you can have my room,” Cassian rolled his eyes dramatically. 

“Was that so hard?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “Actually it was. I spent weeks designing that room. All for it to go to fucking waste.”

“Sucks to suck I guess,” I smirked, shouldering two of my bags. I took a long, non-rage-filled look at my brother. Man… he looked so different. Six years is a long time to not see someone. 

I gotta make this work. “I’m gonna work hard, you know. I’m tired of always being in the fucking mud.”

“Yup. Me too.” Nice, asshole. “You’re going to have to follow some rules and check in. This isn’t going to be a free-for-all, you’re gonna have a curfew.”

“A curfew? What am I, thirteen?”

“Until you can prove to me that you’re not gonna go and rob a bank, yes, you’ll have a curfew,” Cassian picked up my other bags and started walking back to the house. “We’re gonna find you a job because I will not be funding your operation.”

“What happened to ‘we have a lot of money. It could use some wasting’?”

“Rhys wasn’t wrong,” Cassian said. “But just because we have it doesn’t mean you get access to it.”

“Jeez, sorry I brought it up, grumpy pants. And what kind of rules anyway?”

“We’ll talk about it later. Some of us like to get a full eight hours of sleep every day so I am going back to bed. You’re not allowed to leave the house until I say so, so find something to do.”

“Or someone,” I whispered to myself. But Cassian heard. “A joke.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you eye fucking Azriel,” Cassian practically gagged. “That is one of your rules. You are not allowed to be engaged with him in any type of way. The last thing he needs right now is you.”

“Right to the heart. And please, I could do better.” That part was debatable for sure. 

“I mean it, he’s been through a lot the past year and a half. It took him a long time to get to where he is and I won’t let you ruin it for him,” Cassian said possessively. “He, along with everyone else, is my family. Fuck with them and you’re dealing with me.” “News flash, buddy, so am I. We share the same DNA, and hair and eyes according to everyone else on the fucking planet.”

“Ira, I’m serious. If you fuck around with Azriel and I find out I sweat to–”

“Jesus, calm down Vengeance. Gotham is safe from the Joker,” I followed him inside, clicking the door shut behind me. “I won’t get involved with Azriel.”

“Good.”

He carried the bags to his car, telling me we’d make it to his house sometime in the afternoon. After that? I just… wandered. I looked in the kitchen, grabbing an orange and a few granola bars from the pantry. I slipped out the back door to the pool and sat on one of the lounge chairs. 

The sunrise was full of oranges and golds. Much different from the other sunrises I’m used to up on the roof. The soft wind blew the water in the pool, making gentle lapping noises. I closed my eyes. Stretched my legs. 

I’ve gotta be careful or I might get used to this. 

I know the ending of this book. Read these pages, seen the titles. It’s gonna be no fucking different. I’ll give it the good ol’ college try, but it’s never gonna fucking work. I’ll do something stupid, piss off the wrong person and Cassian will kick me to the curb. Just a waiting game. 

Nothing I can do about it, so I might as well see where fate takes me.

[sweetbillwriting]

In The Dead of Night

TWO

Description: Delilah is on sick leave from her job and doesn't have much to do in the days. Her life has always been safe and a bit boring but everything changes when she falls in love with her best friend's dead brother.

Characters: AU Eric played by Bill Skarsgård from The Crow (2024)

Setting: This story is set in A WHOLE OTHER WORLD than the movie. Shelley isn't a part of this story. Eric will be different from the movie, especially because I haven't seen the movie.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Notes: It's not so easy being a writer in the Bill fandom so I'm greatful for every comment, like and reblog 🤍

I've made a post with what songs I imagine them listening to.

My masterlist

We walk in silence at first, looking at family homes with their lights off and no cars on the driveway. It was a ghostly version of the street I knew, but I didn't care because I could feel Eric's presence next to me. His towering height and broad shoulders made him take up most of my left side’s visual field. I saw him in the corner of my eye, felt his looming presence, but also knew I would be able to touch him if I just put out my hand to the side. He walked so close, even if he was dead.

“You lived here when you were little?” He suddenly asked with a soft voice. I smiled a little and looked at the third house in front of us.

“Yeah, in the third one. With my parents and my three siblings. It was nice; it was just nice people living here. Where did you live as a kid? I know you had two homes…”

I asked my question carefully. I had tossed the thing about him being dead to the side and instead dived into our date completely. He made me relaxed and warm, and I felt safe asking him private questions. I looked up at his profile, meeting the “Lullaby” tattoo instead of his eyes, but he smiled a little while looking down at Odin, who walked calmly on his other side.

“I don't know what Robin told you, but we lived in this small little village when we were kids, like until I was 10? And he was 13. It was picturesque as fuck….” He smiled a little to himself. There was something so calm and sweet in his way of talking, like he lacked the ability to cover up his emotions. His soul felt completely exposed, but not in a weak way, just in a way that gave him strength and sincerity.

“But I also lived with my biological mom one weekend a month…”

He didn't go into details but told me about his mother's apartment in the big city. The contrast between being with Lotti and Eric, who put on his bike helmet for him and didn't let him leave the neighborhood alone while his biological mother, Linda, let him go out to play on the streets of the big city in the middle of the night.

“I know today she let me do that so she could have some privacy while she shot up. She couldn't even stop for a weekend…” He said with a shoulder shrug.

I nodded with big eyes. My own life felt weird to talk about now, when I knew my life would sound like a children's book without a plot.

“Are you close with your siblings?” He asked, and we turned back to the playground again. It didn't feel like we had walked in another direction other than forward, but now we were back in the same place we had started.

“Sure, or… Yeah, but things change, I guess? My little brother is doing his own thing in London—some computer thing bullshit, I don't know. He earns money, that I know. My oldest has kids and lives a suburban life. My other sister is my boss, and…” I made a doubting sound and breathed out. I didn't feel the need to lie to Eric; I just didn't know how to phrase it.

“It's weird having your sister as a boss?” Eric asked, and he let Odin's leash go. I didn't react at first to his careless action, and when I finally realized that the leash was lying on the ground, I also realized that Odin stood still, watching Eric with big eyes. I thought about taking the leash, but something in me told me I could trust Eric with him.

“I hate it. I hate it so much, and... Then I got this problem with my shoulder after a gym session, and..."

Eric smirked a little and gave me a pointed, teasing smile.

“Shut up!” I said it with a laugh and hit his chest.

“I didn't even say anything,” he said, amused, and pretended to duck away from my pats.

"Yes, you did! With your eyes!”

“Can I talk with my eyes?” He acted astonished and dropped his jaw.

“Yes! Yes, you can!”

“How do they sound?”

We both laughed, and after we calmed down and I had stopped pretending to hit him, I dared to stay close to him. I tilted my face back to see him, and he looked down at me with big eyes and a dimpled smile.

“You don't really have so much trouble with your shoulder, as you say?” He said with a kind smirk. I furrowed my nose in distaste, appalled by myself.

“I can't stand being in her shadow, and... Your brother is a pain in the ass too!”

Eric laughed, and like it was the most natural thing, he laid his arms around me and pulled me closer to his body. He was warm and smelled like expensive cologne. Nothing like a dead body. I giggled at my thought, and I think it made Eric embarrassed because he looked down at the ground with the same dimpled smile.

“Ehm,” he walked up to the swings and took a hold of one. Odin walked close to him, and I got used to it fast. My dog had a new master.

“Your seat, ma’am?” He said it politely and gestured toward the swing. I didn't know I could smile bigger than I already did, but I did when I sat down on the swing. Eric took the one next to me but stood on it, and started to swing with power. I just let mine sway under me. Odin lied down in front of us, pleased, and closed his eyes. It seemed like both he and I liked our strange company a bit too much.

“Your mom misses you so much,” I said when Eric slowed down his swing and stood towards me. He smiled a little sadly, and nodded.

“I never wanted to hurt her... But I did. They did everything for me, but I… I wasn't capable of taking their gifts.They gave me everything… Really everything..”

We were both quiet and took in what he had said. Maybe it became too sad for Eric because suddenly he had started to climb on the swing set to reach the highest point. He did it so easily, like his body weighed nothing, but the pained sounds from the poles told me something else. He laughed a little when he was up, and so did I. He looked at me almost proudly for his accomplishment.

“Now you will never come down from there. Now you're stuck,” said I, like a teasing mom, and stood up with one hand around the pole. I did a lazy spin around it, and just when I was back with my face towards him, he leaned back on the pole and let himself fall. Once again, I acted like a mother and ran up to him, believing in my panic that I would be able to catch the tall man, but I didn't need to do that. Eric hung over the horizontal pole by his bent knees and giggled at me boyishly.

“Did you think you needed to catch me?”

I feigned an irritated smirk and moved up to him. His upside-down face was at the same level as mine.

“No…” His hoodie and the white garment under it had moved a bit down by gravity and I could see an Adonis belt carved into his hips and scribbled tattoos. The pants sat so low that I could also see veins crawling down to his crotch. I swallowed dryly, especially because he didn't seem to acknowledge my view. In my dreamlike state, I dared to walk up to him, stand close to him, and meet his upside-down eyes. The big green eyes. There were secrets in them. Dark, heavy secrets and history, even if they smiled.

“You know this reminds me of something,” he said with a teasing voice, and I knew exactly what he meant. Everyone knew about that pop culture moment.

“Fuck you!” I said it with a laugh, and he smiled big, so I saw his dimple again. When both his and my eyes softened and we looked at each other in a more intimate way, I dared to drag my hands through his mullet and touch the tattoos by his hairline.

“So the spider web is a tribute to Spiderman?” My flirty way was back, but in a calmer way.

"Yeah, I did it when I was ten. Nah, it's actually a Russian prison tattoo. It shows how many people you have killed… Ehm,” he laughed, embarrassed, and then he showed me he wanted to jump down from the swing set. I moved a little, and just as easily, he pulled himself up and then jumped down on the ground.

“You mean you killed-”

“No, no! I was sixteen and thought it was cool. I added the spider a few years later so it would have another meaning.” He moved up to me, so we stood close together again. It felt natural to lay my arms around his neck, so I did. He answered by laying his arms around my waist. I looked at his face, took in everything about him, and I knew I was already falling in love with the man standing in front of me.

Eric's eyes shifted between my eyes and lips. I knew what he was thinking, and smoothly, I stood up on my toes so he would reach my lips.

He kissed me so softly that it felt like a plush, silk pillow was pressed to my lips. So softly that when he moved away, it felt like one of the butterflies had left my belly to touch my lips with its delicate wings.

×××

I was woken up by someone’s crying, but then also by Odin, who jumped up in my bed and attacked my face with his wet tongue. It made me sit up fast and push him away, and then I also saw Robin in the doorway to my bedroom. He had the key to my apartment, so that he was there didn't surprise me, but his loud crying did.

“Hey…” I stood up and moved close to him, even though I was just dressed in panties, and he hugged me hard, pushing me against his chest.

“It's my uncle... He's in the hospital.”

I looked up at him with worry. Would he lose his uncle too now?

“No.. What? Oh, my god. Robin… Will you go there?”

His uncle lived in the town where he had spent the most of his teens and adult life. I knew Robin didn't really like that town, but he nodded anyway.

“Yeah. Can you take Odin?”

He tried to calm down and wipe away his tears, but then he started to cry hysterically again. I laid his head on my shoulder.

“Yes, of course!”

I followed him home, together with Odin, and provided emotional support while he was packing. He calmed down slowly, and then, when it was time for him to go, he was calm and able to drive the car.

I had mixed feelings about having Odin again. He was my baby. I loved him so much, but I also felt quite restrained by him. Not that I had so much to do, but if something showed up, I wouldn't have anyone who could take him.

When I came home, I made some coffee, and while the brewer did its job, I looked at the photos lying on the kitchen table. Luckily for me, Robin hadn't seen the pictures of his brother. It was one of him in profile, sitting on a couch. There was one of him, maybe just seconds after he had turned to the photographer, his arm resting on his head and a big contagious smile on his lips. The last one was one of the more exposing pictures. He was lying against the headboard of the bed, showing off his body in black silk boxer shorts. His eyes were intense, and he looked at you in a magnetic way that made it almost impossible to look away. I sighed to myself, thinking back on my dream. It felt like I could still feel his kiss on my lips, and his voice was carved into me even if I hadn't heard it for real.

I wished I could have stayed there with him. In a world where the dead were walking.

×××

I walked around and around my apartment until the afternoon. There were so many thoughts and feelings in me, and I didn't know what to do with them. I worried a lot for Robin. He had lost his dad and his younger brother, and his mother had a brain injury. Would he now also lose his uncle? It would be tragic, and I thought to myself that I would do everything in my power to be the family he needed.

I thought about Lotti. She was also lonely. She had lost her husband and one of her sons and was now in an elderly home alone. A mother should never outlive her own child, and even if Eric was just a foster kid, he had become her son.

I also thought about my own situation. I was home for an injury that wasn't as serious as I pretended. I hated my job and my boss, even if it was my own sister. I loved her, Desiree, but I hated her as a boss. Sometimes I dreamed about just running away.

But I must think about my dream. It felt so real. It had really felt like I met him and were close to him, but waking up in my bed alone made me realize Eric was just an imagination. I would do anything to dream about him again, kiss his lips, and hear the stories about his tattoos.

I sat and looked at Odin destroying one of my socks until I decided to walk to the bedroom, crawl down in bed, and shut my eyes.

Please, please, please. Let me meet Eric again!

×××

It didn't work, no matter how much I tried. Odin even laid down next to me in bed, and it could have worked so well, but I just slept twenty minutes without dreaming of anything.

I knew the disappointment would just make me restless and, yet again, make me walk round and round in my apartment. I needed to do something and found myself outside of my workplace. The hair salon. I looked in through the window carefully because Odin was with me, and some of my colleagues waved to me. It wasn't that long ago that I visited them, so I didn't think they would come out to say hello; most of them also had a customer in their chair. My sister also had a customer and gave me just an irritated look. I nodded towards a bench standing by a tree on the other side of the road, and she gave me a nod. We had been sitting there several times during the three months I had been home from work.

Me and Odin sat down on the bench. He was busy watching the doves and flirting with people walking by. I just sat and illuminated my phone screen over and over and looked towards the salon. I waited there for fifteen minutes until my sister came out with furrowed brows and crossed arms. Sometimes it felt like she knew I exaggerated my injury, but I also knew she would have said something then.

“I just want to talk about Robin…” I said carefully and played with Odin's leash while he and Desiree said hello to each other. She sighed and sat down on the bench.

“Okay, but do you have to look like a hobo when you come here? You’ve always looked so good; now you look…” She shrugged her shoulders. I looked down at my gray sweatpants, chopped at the knee, and my pink tank top. When I worked, I was really into vintage, but now it felt quite unnecessary to dress up. I cleared my throat, avoiding her question, and looked down at Odin while I continued to talk.

“So you know about his uncle… I'm worried about him. He will be so alone.”

Desiree looked at me with empathetic eyes and took my hand in hers. She knew how important Robin was to me, even if she had known him longer than I had. He worked at the salon when I started to work there.

“Yeah… But he has us,” she said with a nod and moved closer to me.

“Of course… Did you know he had a younger brother? Who died?”

It wasn't my thing to tell my sister about, but I was too curious. Even if I was really worried for Robin, for real, I also couldn't stop my fascination for his dead brother. My sister nodded a little.

“You mean the foster kid? Yeah, I heard about him from Georgia. Shit, so fucking weird, Robin of all people had such a foster kid in his family.”

“What do you mean?” Something stabbed me in the chest when she talked so harshly about Eric.

“He was such a fucking junkie. Like, he sold drugs, had an overdose, and looked like a gulag prisoner. He was a criminal in more ways, too. Like fuck, complete opposite of Robin!”

Desiree looked at me with big eyes; her empathy felt a bit forced now, and the gossip devil in her peaked out through her eyes. I felt weird about what she said about Eric. In a way, it felt like I knew him and wanted to protest, but I didn't know a thing. I didn't know who Eric actually was.

“Robin's family seems to have been that perfect little suburban family; that guy couldn’t have fit in at all... But Georgia said it's a super sensitive subject for Robin. Even if he was just a foster kid.”

I looked away, towards a playground close by. I felt sick by what my sister said, and in some ways, I wished she had never told me. I didn't want to judge Eric, but drugs for me were disgusting, and I felt pain in my whole body thinking about it. I didn't want to see Eric like one of those people lying unconscious on drugs on a stranger's couch or snorting powder in a public bathroom. I wanted him to be that cute guy he was in my dream, but that started to feel like an impossibility now that I knew on what level he used drugs.

×××

Blue light blinked above me and made my sequin top glitter. It was a halterneck top I had bought in a vintage shop in Milano two years ago, but I had never had the opportunity to wear it. I loved the purple sequin pattern and looked at the top with a smile. I wore it with a pair of dark flared jeans. In my admiration for my outfit, I forgot to look around but had then seen that I stood completely alone in a club, in the middle of the dance floor, but I wasn't alone for long.

"Hey, beautiful,” said a smooth voice I recognized behind me. I looked back and met the big green eyes I had fantasized about since I saw them in a photo. I shone up with a bright smile. My dream self wasn't at all as reserved, and I ran up to him, and he caught me in his open arms. Both of us laughed softly and looked at each other with a warm gaze.

Eric was dressed in a big black t-shirt with a wide collar that showed off collarbones and tattoos. It was matched with bleached, trashed jeans with a studded belt, and in his left ear he had a small dagger earring. The outfit was nothing I would have wanted to see a guy in, but on him, it was something else. It was a bit trashy, but in a sexy way.

With a shy smile, he put my hair behind my ear with delicate fingers. I wanted so badly to kiss him. Because of his boyish ways, sexy eyes framed with eyeliner, and manly body, but especially because he seemed so kind and lovable.

So I did. I stood up on my toes and kissed his warm lips, and he kissed back at once, so I never needed to wonder if I did the right thing. He stayed close after, with his forehead against mine, and we laughed again.

“Hi,” I said in a giggle.

“Hey,” he said with a blushy smirk. I dragged my hands over his silly mullet and down over his eyebrow tattoo.

“Hi,” I said again, and I felt my cheeks glow in the same color as my newly kissed lips.

×××

We danced to non-existent music on an empty dance floor. Eric kissed me softly over and over until it became a deep make-out session. He was soft and sensual in every kiss and succeeded in making every hair stand up on my body. It was a beautiful contrast—his romantic ways against his hard look. I had really thought he would be a heartbreaker, or rather, a douchebag, an asshole, but his sweet ways couldn't belong to such a guy. Eric was a good boy, just like his mother had said.

“Where is the music?” Eric asked suddenly and looked around the dance floor.

“What do you mean? There hasn't been any music?”

Eric gave me a confused smirk and dragged a hand over the side of his face.

“Seriously? I thought it was…” He laughed a little but then took a fast sprint towards the DJ’s podium. He climbed it just as easily as he had climbed the swing set and gave the electronics a look.

“Do you know such things?” I asked and moved close to the podium.

“I've worked in clubs... Even as a DJ,” he smirked a little embarrassed and started to plug in the cords.

“Is this a club you've worked at, maybe?

I made a little spin on the dance floor when System of a Down’s Radio/Video streamed out from the speakers. It was probably nostalgic for both of us, even if I've been just a wannabe alternative while he was the real deal.

“No, I was here a lot when I was, like 18? It was the only bit more alternative place, so me and my fellow... depressed friends came here to do MDMA.”

He jumped down the podium and spinned me in, close to his body. He gave me a searching look when I looked down on the floor. The drugs made me uncomfortable, even if I wanted to be such a person who could be chill around drugs and not be a prude, but I was. I had never had any contact with drugs and didn't even know what MDMA was, really.

“It’s nothing serious. Ecstasy, you know?” He said it carefully and dragged his hands over my waist. “It's just a party drug…”

I dragged my hands over his neck but continued to look down, not because I judged him but because my eyes had become shiny. I couldn't stop thinking about what Desiree told me.

“What drugs have you taken?” I asked quietly, and I could feel his hands stiffen on my waist. He had probably understood I hadn't done any, and he would sound like a junkie whatever he said. He breathed out deeply.

“I think the better question would be what haven't I tried.”

I looked up at him with tear-filled eyes, and he looked back. I could see he was ashamed, even if he didn't want to hide anything from me.

“Heroin?”

“That too. It's so much cheaper…”

The tears in my eyes streamed down my cheeks now.

“Oh my god… Eric… Why… Why did you do that to yourself?” I dragged my hands over his cheeks and neck, both admiring his face and letting my heart break at the thought of what he had done to himself—how he had killed himself.

Eric didn't say anything; instead, he leaned down and pushed his nose against my neck. I dragged my hands over his broad back, up in his hair, and out over his shoulders. He cried without any sound, and I just continued to let him break down in my arms.

×××

We had moved to one of the couches in the seating area, a stairway up. It was just as empty there, and the music wasn't so loud that we needed to shout to one another, as it usually would be in a club. Eric had put on one of his own Spotify playlists that rolled in the background, and I was a bit surprised he could even do such a thing in this dreamworld. He even gave me his username, and I wrote a note mentally to search for it. We listen to nostalgic music that made us laugh: Offspring, Blink-182, and Snoop Dogg, but also nostalgic music that is still his favorites: Bauhaus, Public Enemy, and Joy Division. First, I didn't dare to say what I listened to, but when I confessed my deep love for Lana Del Rey, he just smiled and agreed with me. He didn't seem to be the judgmental type.

We talked about classical date subjects. Interests (he worked out as often as he could but had played the guitar and drawn comics when he was younger), food (he tried to be a vegan but felt he lost muscle mass by it and he just LOVED meat), clothes (he liked thrift stores but also luxury brands because the quality was nice against his skin), and work (he had a hard time keeping a job so he had tried many things but most often came back to being a bartender). He was an open book and asked me just as many questions as I asked him. He was the perfect date.

He sat with his feet up on the table in front of him and his legs spread. I could see skin in the many holes in his light jeans and had laid my cheek against his chest to look at them. He played with my hair between his fingers, and I could feel his smile against my head.

“Can you tell me a bit about your tattoos? How many have you?”

Eric laughed, and I could feel how he leaned his head back. I looked up at him and saw a smile so wide it caused creases around his eyes.

“Do you think I know that?” He looked down at his muscular arms, covered in tattoos, then pulled up his t-shirt and showed even more tattoos, but also those defined abs. I didn't know if he showed them on purpose, to let me see, but I got that feeling when I dragged a fingertip over his stomach and felt him flex. I had never touched a guy that ripped and took the opportunity to drag my hand from his sternum to the elastic of his Saint Laurent underwear. God, I wanted to lick every bit of exposed skin, but that would probably be too much for now.

“You're so fucking hot,” I said instead, lifting my head up so I could look at him properly but also try to get a kiss. He gave me a dark smile and put his fingertip against my chin.

“So are you.”

He kissed me softly at first, but it just took seconds before we made out deeply. Our tongues danced well together, like a heated tango. I drew back not only because I needed to breathe but also because I could feel my cheeks warm.

“You were a bartender?” I asked teasingly and put a finger against his chest. “Shouldn't you take my order?”

Eric laughed a little, but then looked uncomfortable.

“I can't. Drink, I mean. But I can see if I can find something for you.” He stood up, and I sat up better. His energy had changed drastically.

“Oh… You… Is... Alcohol is that like, because... Your addiction?”

“No, no. Ehm…” He stuffed his hands deep in the front pocket of his jeans and looked around. “I can't do it because... I don't really know, but something tells me I can't drink in my state. You know, I'm dead.”

He continued to look at everything other than me, and, for a moment, I felt the same thing as he. He was dead and would never be a part of the real world ever again. We were silent, but after a while, I felt a need to break the tragic moment and enjoy the time we had together.

“I'm just so fucking hot. Can you help me with that?”

Eric looked at me now, first like he didn't understand what I said, but then he smirked. Big.

“Oh, I can help you with that.”

With fast feet and a hard grip on my hand, he pulled me out of the empty club and out to a dark street. It was in the middle of the night, completely dark but also completely silent. I couldn't see a car or a window with the lights turned on. It was just dark, with only the full moon illuminating the world for us. We ran over the streets in a giggle while street lights blinked by our presence. It was magical. If I didn't have Eric, I would have been scared and stressed, but holding his big, warm hand and seeing his playful smile made it all just exciting.

He took me to an open space between high buildings. First, it looked completely empty until I saw a pattern in the middle, small metallic openings. Eric moved away to a bench, and behind it was a locked fuse box. It didn't look much to the world, and it probably wasn't because Eric started to kick it harshly. I watched him silently, confused, but didn't feel worried. It didn't seem like cops existed in this world.

“It's such fucking cheap shit, so you can just kick and pull the hatch open,” he said before continuing to kick. After a while, he had kicked it hard enough with his black vans to get his fingers in the hatch and pull it up. He gave me a little smirk before looking towards the pattern in the ground and clicking some buttons. It was a fountain hidden in the paving stones.

He smiled proudly but also looked a bit blushy when I laughed and kicked off my Converse. I ran out in the fountain without any doubt and let the hard beams hit my body. The water was cold against my warm skin, but I didn't freeze, especially not when Eric joined me, without his shoes and without his shirt. I laughed and threw myself around his neck. I felt so free, and my chest glowed with love and euphoria.

Eric laughed too and spinned me around in his strong arms before kissing me again. I dragged my hands over his naked skin, enjoying every muscle and every line. The broad shoulders, the strong arms, and the muscular chest. I was so horny, I felt my sex ache. It didn't feel like there were any rules anymore, and I pulled off my halterneck top so my chest was as bare as Eric's. I dragged my fingers through my wet hair, pushed it back, and wiped away some smudged mascara. I looked up at Eric, who was also black around his eyes with watery black eyeliner. His big green eyes looked at my chest, then up to my face. With a shy little smile, he asked for permission to touch my breasts, and I helped by laying one of his big hands on my tits so he could give it a squeeze.

“These are some beautiful fucking boobs,” he said, and I laughed. He embraced me from behind and played with my breasts in his hands. The fountain continued to spray us with water, but we almost didn't notice anymore. I had taken one of Eric's fingers and sucked it down to his knuckle while he kissed my neck. I had never been so horny.

“Please just fuck me,” I whined, pushing my ass against his crotch. He groaned, and I could feel a hint of an erection. I spun around so I could explore what was hiding behind bleached denim and Saint Laurent cotton, but Eric had taken his own initiative and opened his studded belt with a jiggle. He unbuttoned his jeans, and at the same time he looked at me, he started to pull them down with his boxers. I could see shortly trimmed, dark pubic hair, and then I almost held my breath when I saw the hilt of his cock-

×××

The image of a wet, shirtless Eric disappeared, and instead I saw more and more of the light coming from my window. I had forgotten to pull down the blinds, and the bright May sun had woken me up from my perfect dream.

What the fuck?

×

[chloessleepystories]

Sisters part 14 - Endgame

Do you want to lick my pussy …

Chloe had spent more than an hour now listening to the song too. First in her own room, while finishing another project, and writing a number 5 and a short note on a piece of masking tape. Then, reclining in various positions near her sister’s door, alternating with checking in on her parents in the living room, and watching them for a while.

“Lydia, bend over. All fours, on the floor. Helen? Get underneath. I’m going to fuck your sister, and you’re going to suck on her nipples, and lick her clit, and if you’re a good girl, you can lick my cock as it pounds into her cunt. And you’re both going to love it. Aren’t you?”

It was so engrossing watching her father. Listening to him give commands ...

Chloe returned to Kenzie’s door, waiting. What had her life become? Babysitting a bunch of sluts, who were mindlessly enjoying their pleasures without cares … while she still carried the stress of the world … Who’s the real dummy? she thought, and giggled.

Giggly makes you horny, she thought. Horny makes you giggly, she told herself. And giggled again.

*click*

“Chloe?”

She leapt to her feet as her sister slowly emerged from her bedroom. Kenzie was so beautiful, she thought. Her mouth was so full, and soft. Her eyes so wide and trusting. And her breasts … Chloe licked her lips.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Kenzie.

And Chloe enfolded her, all in an instant, their bodies melting into each other, her hands all over her sister’s back, in her hair, as their lips met, their tongues entwined, and Chloe’s mind saw sparks and flashes in every color before going completely white as their kiss stretched on and on in its passion and love …

They fell to the floor, Kenzie moaning loudly as her big sister kissed her way down her belly and feasted on her dripping pussy, there in the hallway outside their rooms.

Kenzie howled as the first orgasm ripped through her, then lunged to tackle her sister, straddling her face as she dove into Chloe’s cunt in a frantic, sloppy 69 …

They were, finally, such devoted sisters …

Some time later, panting and a little rug burned, Chloe took her sister’s face in her hands. “Look at me,” she said tenderly. “Are you OK?”

Kenzie nodded, smiling somewhat vacantly.

“I’ve made you happy?”

Her sister’s eyes welled up. She nodded again.

“Good.” She nipped Kenzie’s lower lip with her teeth. “I need you to tell me something. Can you do that? I need to counteract what I think is about to happen with Daddy, and it’s the only thing I can think of. I need to hear something, and I need it to stick, and I think the only way it will … is if it comes from you. I’m absolutely devoted to you, you know … Can you do that for me?”

She stared deep into her sister’s trusting, mindless, cow-like, loving eyes …

You think you can resist but whyyy …

The sisters walked into the living room, hand in hand. Both were naked now. Kenzie still wore the purple panties, but it was Chloe who now wore the collar, the leash lying gently down her back, bouncing against her butt with every step.

The house was silent, except for the grunting from Dave as he rammed himself again and again into Helen’s abused cunt. Lydia was passed out on the carpet nearby. As they walked in, he looked up, pulled out, and turned to them, dripping with sweat, his shiny cock bouncing. Both girls couldn’t take their eyes off it.

“I’ve got Kenzie, Daddy.”

He chuckled in his throat, and his eyes gleamed. His jaw hung slack, and he barely seemed to recognize them as his own offspring – just more meat.

“A couple more eager, suggestible sluts, aren’t you?” He swallowed. “Then I suggest … that you find my cock irresistible, and you both want to get down and suck it. Right now.”

Kenzie squealed happily, dropping to her knees instantly in front of her father and sucking his hard shaft into her throat. It always felt so good to do that! Mmmm … it shut off her brain completely … Ooh maybe he’d cum on her titties! She loved that!!

Behind her, Chloe was struggling. Her eyelids fluttered.

Fight it, a tiny voice whispered. It sounded like Chloe, the Chloe she was a month ago.

She sank, slowly, to her knees, some feet away.

No! You’ve never sucked cock in your life and you’re not about to start now. But she wasn’t strong enough. Not alone.

She licked her lips. She shuffled forward.

And then:

I’ve got an even better suggestion, echoed a different voice in her head. And you want to please your sister, don’t you?

And with her last stubborn effort of will – aided by the last instructions by her sister – she turned, and buried her face between her mother’s legs.

Helen squealed awake, her toes curling. Finally, a truly practiced tongue!!

Dave watched the lesbian tongue lashing, and his hard cock grew in his daughter’s throat. Good enough, he thought. For now.

And Chloe sunk blissfully, mindlessly, into worshipping her mother’s sticky cunt – dripping wet and full of her father’s cum – and sighed contentedly. Don’t want to be brainy, she thought. Just wanna be horny …

And then her thoughts faded away completely. Until there was just the music.

THE END

*

*

*

*

*

After-credits bonus scene

Chloe lapped at her mother’s juicy pussy, grabbing and sqeezing her mother's full round bottom, her own ass in the air. As their father slowly penetrated Kenzie’s tight young snatch from behind, Kenzie leaned forward and began to eagerly probe her sister’s tight asshole with her tongue. Chloe gasped in mindless pleasure ...

And something dropped from her hand and bounced once on the carpet.

The iPod landed with the masking-taped side up.

If anyone was looking at it –

And no one was, but maybe …

Just maybe …

Someone would see it later –

They would have seen a number “5” penciled there. And underneath that, in Chloe’s neat engineering printing:

“Chloe. Dummy. If you’ve got any brains left – Play this.”

***

Thanks for playing, everybody! Let me know what you think! Feedback either here or at @cheriepickering! Tips at @chloepilgrim! Thanks!

[fetishfairytales2]

Happy Birthday Sissy! Pt. 3 (Story)

This was originally written as a continuation of a story by [no longer active] called Besties. ——————————————

I had finished most of Brandi’s makeup while she was cuffed to the chair in front of the vanity. “Just a few more touches girly,” I said into the mirror giggling. I pulled the paci gag from Brandi’s quivering lips and slicked on the bold red lipstick on. "This shade is called 'Fuck Me Red', how perfect!" I sneered, After a few hard slaps and some threatening to let Daddy handle her temper tantrum, the fight had drained out of her and she stopped resisting me.  "Oh, and make sure you don't ruin that mascara with your sad little tears, Sissy. Or whatever else will be dripping down your face later!" I teased.

"Oh Brandi, honey. I can see the excitement in your eyes for your special celebration!” I cooed, staring into her eyes; “Everyone is just dying to see the sissy birthday girl! But before we go over the guest list, I have to give you a little heads up." I crawled into her lap, getting cozy and teasingly rubbing my ass against her caged and diapered cock. I pulled her face close to mine, looking stern and deathly serious. "Just remember, sweetie, if you mess up AT ALL today, don’t do exactly what I ask or don’t behave like the perfect little sissy, I promise I'll make your life even more miserable than it already is. And trust me, I have some creative ways to do that…”

I flashed my sweet Mommy smile and spoke in my sing-song voice again. "Now, let's think about all the friends coming to see Sissy Brandi today, shall we?" I raised all ten fingers in front of her and continued, "Mommy and Daddy Conner will be there, of course." I lowered one finger. "And let's not forget about my sister Maddie,” I put down another finger. “Oh, and Kylie, she just loves seeing Sissy Brandi." I dropped yet another finger. "And her handsome boyfriend, Brad, will probably be joining us too." I pinched her cheeks and cooed. "There's also Ms. Lyndsey, and she's bringing her boyfriend Shawn. Remember him?" I booped Brandi's nose as I lowered another finger. "You weren't very nice to him last time when you got drunk and screamed all those mean things at him. But that was old Brandon, not my sweet mincing Brandi."

"Oh, and how could I forget to mention my girlfriends Rachel and Kelsey?" I cooed, taking out my phone and showing Sissy a photo of the three of us on my Instagram. "They'll be joining us for your little party, too! And don't worry, they know all about your new lifestyle. I made sure to invite their boyfriends as well." 

I scrolled through my phone again, finding a shirtless photo of a man with a sculpted body. "Guess who it is?” I laughed; “I promise, you're going to hate this," I giggled with delight. Without waiting for a response, I zoomed out on the photo. "Remember Marcus? The one you were oh so jealous of when he was my personal trainer? Oh, the silly sissy thought I would cheat on him! No I would never...until you were in diapers, of course. Then I fucked Marcuz and every other man I could! So yeah, he’ll be here too!"

“And him of course,” I smiled wickedly, watching Brandi struggle against the cuffs as I held up my phone in front of her face. "Shh, shh,” I teased. “Don't worry, it was twice…in one night. Oh, and then another two nights after that! He's just too hot, isn't he?" I giggled while scrolling through naked photos of my coworker Grant and I in the same bed I used to share with my cuckold. I reminded her of how jealous she was when she met him at my job’s Christmas party, saying, "I told you not to worry about him then. Nothing would have happened! But no, you just had to go and cheat on me with that slut Sophie..."

I paused, giving a flirty wink and revealing a screenshot I took from someone else's Instagram. "This is her, right?" I teased, showing a picture of the attractive young blonde who worked as Brandi's intern and her colleague, Chloe. The sissy was practically knocked over with shock. "Oooh! Surprised that I found her? I did some digging sweetie. Of course I found the woman you thought was worth throwing our whole relationship away for! And want to know something even more fun? She's coming too! And so is Chloe! But shhh, they think it's just a regular old birthday party. Oh, the fun surprise they're in for! I bet work is going to be interesting on Monday, huh?”

"Oh and sweets? That's not all of the invites for today," I whispered into her ear, removing her handcuffs and helping her up from the chair. "But don't worry, that's a surprise for later!" I grabbed her hand and spun her toward the door, causing her comically short skirt to puff out even more. "Now let's go say hello to our guests," I giggled, giving her a playful spank.

[kneelbeforeclefairy]

Ok random disjointed thoughts on sotr

Haymitch went into the arena with a friend. A friend who was like a sister to him. I'm gonna go on the assumption this WASNT mayzilee. I think she's the stuck up girl. (Also, she's not younger than him, I don't think?) But even if she IS , either way he went into the arena with a friend. That's got to be every tributes worst case scenario

the Mockingjay on the cover has its wings down, like the Mockingjay on Songbirds and Snakes. It's not ready yet. It can't fly yet

That symbol exists in verse! That symbol is "going to mean a lot to haymitch abernathy". Like the fucking Mockingjay pin. Was that the symbol of a failed revolution? This is definitely feeding my theories that there were some RUMBLINGS at the 50th and haymitch was set up to be like a proto-mockingjay.

No seriously tho let's look at how involved he is with the rebellion. For a known drunk he is ASTONISHINGLY well placed and well trusted in the rebellion. How does he even KNOW about it? How does he know Plutarch? People speculated that d13 existed in multiple other districts, but how does Haymitch know? It says he continues the fight behind the arena . This is gonna deal with the beginning of the revolution.

People always say that Plutarch approached him and wanted him because he was katniss' mentor....but what if it's the other way around? What if Haymitch is involved in the rebellion since his reaping? What if HE inspired Plutarch not the other way around. Collins said Plutarch was involved since finnicks games. Haymitch came first. (Though Collins isn't jkr, not sure we should take things she says at interviews as her updating the canon, necessarily)

Everyone was all it's gonna be Plutarch pov because of propaganda. Plutarch SUCKED at propaganda. He had no idea how to use Katniss, and the few good ideas he had were actually fulvias. It was HAYMITCH who swooped in and MADE the Mockingjay. Not that I don't think Plutarch is involved, or that he isn't part of the propaganda machine, but let's remember haymitch is really captain spin Doctor. His whole THING is he controls the narrative. He understands the psychology of the games better than anyone, I think. He tells a story with his tributes.

The songbird and snake are joined. Easy to say Lucy Gray was the songbird, snow is the snake, but they're both associated with both. Now it's saying theat conflicting things spring from the same source. That makes me think fo Snow and Coin, different sides of the revolution but ultimately the same tyrant. Who else might that be? What else might that be.

Haymitch has a lot of women in his life. Almost exclusively. Mom, no Dad. His Girl(I'm so excited for her!!!) the Friend Who Is A Sister, Mayzilee, and later Katniss, even Effie. And of course the ghost of Lucy Gray. The only significant male in his life is his brother and Peeta, who he isn't as close to as he is Katniss. I just...I just love that for him

Lucy fucking Gray. Does she exist? Is she remembered? By Katniss era she's forgotten completely, but her name is mentioned at the reaping every year. Just not a thing Katniss cares about. But does haymitch? Her songbird and snake are on the cover. Two, possibly three of her songs survive (though we don't know if she WROTE the song Katniss sings to rue, but she sings it) is there still a memory of her? Does haymitch want to find out about her? Does he know her?

The bird symbol is always on a circle. Mockingjays circle is broken. Catching fire has the spokes of the clock wheel. Hunger games it's connected to other circles and is irregularly broken. Tbosas has a regular, closed circle. This one is broken with a very regular pattern.

WHO AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THE COMPULSIVE ODDSMAKER I feel like I'm gonna love him.

I know it's unlikely but I want an Effie cameo. We know she didn't reap him, so she's unlikely to be working for the games at this point. But maybe like....an epilogue or something, a sort of Once More With Clarity about the years between the 50th and the 74th. I need to know the truth about their relationship.

I don't think this is gonna focus on the games. I think it's gonna be a small part of the story, I think this goes on after it. Maybe even for years....

I also want Caesar flickerman. I'm gonna assume he's in it, because we know he interviewed haymitch.

Atjebsodjsvaosdnbfkaa I am so normal about this books already how do they expect me to cope

[afro-hispwriter]

The Outsider and The Cheifs Daughter(Falling) pt.3

Neteyam(20) x Metkayina!reader(20)

Summary- Jake and Neytiri know this love story all too well. The outsider falls in love with the Chief's daughter, who's promised to someone else.

Song- Bound by Ponderosa Twins Plus One

Warnings- slight angst, slight possessive Neteyam 

1 2

Wc-2.8k

-

"No, no Neteyam not like that," Tuk says and she snatches the bracelet from her brother's hands. "You have to secure the bead first."

"Okay okay." He chuckled and took the bracelet back. 

"Why did you all of a sudden want to make stuff with me?" Tuk asks and she watches her brother blush. She gasps and starts giggling. "Is it for a girllll?" Neteyam did answer and looked away from her. "IT ISSS!" Tuk started jumping up and down and ran around the mauri. 

"Tuk calm down," Neteyam says and he sets the bracelet down and tries to stop the small girl. Jake walked in and Tuk almost ran into him.

"DADDY DADDY! NETEYAM HAS A GIRLFRIEND!" She yells excitedly and grabs her father's hand. 

"Does he now?" Jake says no amusement in his voice, it was sterner. Neteyam looked at his father and his ears dropped. "Babygirl can you go find your mom, I have to talk to your brother." Neteyam stood to his feet and hung his head low. Tuk frowns and looked between her family members before dropping Jakes's hand and walking away. Once she was out of earshot Jake stomped in front of his son.

"Your mother told me to speak with you, at first I didn't think it was necessary but I thought about it and it is. What were you thinking about flirting with Y/n? She is promised to someone else, she is to be Tshaik." Neteyam backed away and shook his head. 

"She doesn't want to be with him." 

"That doesn't matter, when or if the union ever gets called off, you gotta back off."

"Nothing going to happen," Neteyam says and turns away but grabs his shoulder.

"What if Tonowari and Ronal find out? We are here under Uturu, who knows what they would do to our family." 

"I just kissed her hand to thank her!" Neteyam held his hands up. 

"Even a blind Na'vi could see through the two of you. This is your warning. Back. Off." Jake pushed his son's chest with his finger with every word before walking out. 

Neteyam bit his cheek and rubbed his face. 

"Fuck." He hated how right his father was. He couldn't risk his family being kicked out just because he fell for the Cheifs daughter who's marrying another man. 

He grabbed the bracelet from the floor and shoved it into a wooden case of his stuff. 

-

"Sister, why are you smiling so much?"Aonung asks and he sits beside you. Your smile drops and you look at your brother's face. The black eye forming was taunting, making you roll your eyes. "Still mad about this morning." 

"You did not defend me." 

"I tried." 

"Not enough, we are siblings. We are supposed to defend each other." You and Aonung had always been close as children, being close in age. 

"I know I know, I do not like Reykxu any more than you do, none of us do." 

"Father should not have chosen him." Ao'nung nodded in agreement before pursing his lips.

"Who are they?" 

"Who?"

"I know that smile you had, someone's made you very happy." You sighed before scooting close to your brother and laying your head on his shoulder. 

"I trust that you can keep a secret?" 

"Of course." You sigh before smiling.

"It is Neteyam." 

"Ahh forest boy." You playfully shove him away and he held his hands up in defense. "As much as I do not like him I will tolerate him, because unlike Reykxu. I see that Neteyam makes you happy."

"I'm glad you support me with something for once." You tease.

"Does he return your feelings?"

"I hope so, he tried to kiss me."

"He did?" He seemed a little shocked. "Did you kiss back?" You shook your head and wrapped your arms around your knees. 

"I couldn't, it would be bad on my part." 

"I understand." He rubbed your back. "If the great mother plans it, I may just get a better brother-in-law." You sometimes forget Aonung is not a complete fan of Reykxu. 

"We'll see, now will you help me with dinner?" 

"Do I have to?" He groans.

-

The next morning you practically skipped to the Sully's pod. You greeted them, not noticing the slight glare Neytiri gave you. Tuk giggled as she went up and hugged your torso. 

"Hello Tuk, how are you today?" You passed your hand through her small braids. 

"Good!" 

"Tuk finish your food," Jake says and Tuk frowns before going back to eat.

"Where is Neteyam? We are practicing hunting today." 

"He is down by the beach," Kiri says and you thank her. You walk down the beach, butterflies making you tense your stomach. You spot Neteyam, he wasn't facing you, but his dark blue skin gave him away. He looked like he was speaking to someone. You did a slight skip and in the process, a small teal hand wrapped itself around his bicep. You stopped and your brow bone pinched together. You peered around and your shoulders dropped.

Reytiti smiled and giggled obnoxiously and swiped her hand up and down Neteyams arm.

"Your training has shown off Mighty Warrior." She says and drags her wording out.

"You think?" Neteyam chuckles and lifts his arms to flex the large muscle. 

Your fists clenched and face scrunched in anger, confusion, and jealousy at what you were seeing. You cleared your throat harshly pulling their attention away from each other. 

Neteyam dropped his arms and he took a step back from Reytiti. 

"Finish your conversation, we train immediately." You say sternly before walking away, putting yourself at a good distance from them. Neteyams jaw clenched and his ears twitch before flattening.

He knew what he was doing was wrong. You told him of your dislike for Reytiti in general. It was cruel he knew that, but he didn't know how to let you down since he confessed his feelings just last night. He didn't bother saying goodbye to the girl in front of him, just turned around and walked towards you.

"Ready." He says and he watches you kick some sand then brought your hand up to your face to wipe the tears he couldn't see but knew were there.

"Come." You say and start walking away again. Every time he tried to walk next to you, you would always speed up past him. 

-

"We go deep in the forest so we have no mishap with the spears." You say as you grabbed a spear that rested against a tree. "You see worn down trees, hit them." You point at the trees with all the split wood. He nodded and took the spear from your hands and positioned himself to throw the spear. He brings his arm back and throws it. The spear didn't get far and landed a few feet before the trunk of the tree. 

"Shit." He groaned and you grabbed another spear.

"You are using the knowledge you know of your bow, do not, they are very different. Get into position." You say and watch him, he enters the same position he was in and you shake your head. "Stop." You kicked his feet smaller than shoulder width apart, you then grabbed the unoccupied hand and raised it in the air, and straightens his hand. "Use your hand to guide the spear." 

"Yes ma'am." He says and you huffed and stepped back. He throws it and it went slightly farther but still didn't hit.

"You use your back too much, just breathe. Now go get them." You say sternly and glare at him. Neteyam swallowed and started walking to retrieve the spears. He knew he was getting punished, but he couldn't help but get hard at the authority. 

-

He lost count of how many times you made him throw the spears. It was now eclipse and he's only managed to hit around the tree, not the center. 

"Y/n can we please have a break, or call it a night? My muscles hurt and so do my legs." He says, he wasn't one to complain about training but he couldn't go much longer.

"Fine. One more and we're done." Neteyam nodded and rolled his shoulders back, wincing at the pain. He lost the momentum he had slightly so you stepped in. You stepped close to him, one leg in between his, and helped lift his arms. Your cheek brushed against his clavicle and the heat of his skin burned but it felt nice. He looked down at you and licked his lips.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers and you back up. 

"Did you tell Reytiti that? Shoot." He frowned, almost a pout at your words. 

"No woman's beauty compares to yours." He drops the spear and faces you completely. He takes a step forward and grabs you by the arms. 

"I bet you have said that to all the women from the forest and Reytiti." He backed you up into a tree and practically pinned you to it. 

"I have not said that to any woman." He placed .his hands on your hips and squeezed

"Then what was that this morning hmm?" 

"Mamas, my parents-." A loud horn cut him off and you stepped away from him. "What does that mean?"

"Something is wrong, come we must go." You say and grab his hand to pull him with you. 

-

Just as you reached the outskirts of the village, Aounung passed you and dropped Neteyams hand. 

"Brother, what is happening?" Aonung seemed stressed as he grabbed at his scalp.

"I did something really bad." You grabbed his shoulders.

"Tell me." You say, urgency clear in your voice. Aoung glanced at Neteyam and took in a deep breath.

"It's about Lo'ak, fuck it's all my fault." Neteyam launched at your brother and pinned him to a tree.

"What about my brother?" 

-

"You are stupid brother but I did not think you'd ever do this. If Lo'ak is dead it is murder." You say freaking out at your brother whose braid was in a tight hold by Neteyam. 

"I know I know."

"Well, you did not if you did it." 

You made it back to the village. Na'vi were running everywhere, calling out for each other and saying the situation. 

"We must find our fathers." 

It didn't take long for you to find them. They pointed down at a wooden table talking with a few others.

"Dad," Neteyam says in English and they all turned around. All of their brow bones pinched together as they saw Neteyam have a tight hold on Ao'nung, and you with your arms crossed behind him.

"Y/n?" Tonowari looks to you for answers. 

"It is about Lo'ak." 

"What about him?" Jake asks and Neteyam shoved Ao'nung forward roughly.

"Tell them what you told us." Ao'nung grabbed Neteyams wrist and shoved it away. He started telling his story and in the process, your father scolded him. And just as he finished, your people sounded the horn and said the Sully boy has returned.

Jake and Neteyam didn't waste any time before taking off to find him. Tonowari stepped forward and grabbed Ao'nungs shoulder tightly.

"I did not raise you to do this, just because your ego is bruised does not mean you can attempt murder." 

"Father I did not attempt-."

"Quiet. Lo'ak does not know the true dangers of beyond the reef, I was already skeptical of letting you and your friends go out and hunt." Ao'nung head hung in shame as your father walked away. 

"Are you going to yell at me too?" He asks and you shake your head.

"You already got enough." You say and walk away. You approached the growing crowd and eased through it. Neteyam was crouching down on the stone ledge. You walked up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He tensed up at the cold touch and looked up. 

"Hey." He says and you gave him a small smile and his tail gently wrapped around your calf making you chuckle. 

"Is Lo'ak alright?" 

"From what I can see, yes."

"Good." 

Neytiri rushed past you and hopped down to check on her son. Your father grabbed Ao'nung by his neck and pushed him down to a knee.

"My son knew better than to take and leave your son out beyond the reef," Tonowari says and Tsireya then rushes through the crowd.

"Lo'ak!" She pushed herself into his body and hugged him tightly. You sucked in a breath as you watched them hug so freely, expressing the feelings they have. It made you wonder what your relationship with Neteyam is. If there even is a relationship there, because you were still a little pissed off at him and you still had... Reyxu to deal with.

Neteyam stood, tail unraveling from your leg. He stood to his full height as the people started dispersing. He grabbed your wrist and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting it go and hopping down to his family. 

Unbeknownst to either of you, your mother watched the whole interaction from afar. A scowl planted on her face.

You watched Jake scold Lo’ak, your sister standing close. You hop down and go to wrap an arm around her. 

“Lo’ak is okay.” You say, trying to reassure her. She nodded and took in a shaky breath. You felt a harsh tap on your shoulder and you turned around with brow bones pinched. 

“Where have you been?” Reyxu asks with his arms crossed. You roll your eyes and shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter where I was?” 

“Yes, it does.” He takes a step forward but you hold your ground. “Your parents question me where you are  and I can’t give them a solid answer.” You roll your eyes.

“I have to teach the Sullys.” He scoffed and shook his head.

“Teach the Sullys? No you mean teach Neteyam.”

“So what if I am?” He shakes his head and grabs your arm.

“I see the way he looks at you, the way you look at each other. Imagine the disgrace you’d bring upon this clan when they find out.” Your ears flatten and you shake your head. But you knew he was right.

“There is nothing to find out.” Suddenly Reyxu grabbed your arms and held them tightly. Tsireya gasped and grabbed your shoulder. 

“Stop hanging out with that freak, and your parents won’t find out.” You shove him away and hissed. 

“Don’t act as if you care, now leave me alone.” He squinted his eyes and looked behind you. 

Neteyam stood there. Nostrils flared. The tail sticking straight up. Hands in tight fists. And a wild look in his eyes. Jake’s hand rested on his son’s shoulder, shaking him, trying to get his attention. 

“Neteyam, stop this. She isn’t yours.” He seethes in English but Neteyam wouldn’t back down. 

You turned to see what Reykxu was looking at and your heart fluttered. 

“Go home.” You tell Reyxu and turn away from him. Tsireya’s gentle hands inspected your arm for any bruises. “I'm okay sister.” You brushed her off and gave her a reassuring smile. She didn’t buy it but stepped back. You turned your attention to Neteyam who was burning holes into your head. You walk over to him with a pout and gently grab his fist. “You cannot act this way.” He looked down at you.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes I am, I can handle him.” 

“I know I just-.” He paused and sighed, in the process releasing part of his stress. “I don’t trust him.”

“You act as if we are together.” You placed a hand on his arm and peer behind him to see Jake and Neytiri glaring. It honestly scared you. 

“You’re mine, baby girl, just nobody knows yet.” He says, very lowly, even you almost didn’t catch what he said.

“I like these names you’ve called me, even though I don't know what they mean.” You giggled and Neteyam let out a light chuckle. 

“I’ll tell you what they mean. I’ll also tell you why I did what I did this morning.” You frowned at that but nodded.

“No training tomorrow, you’ve advanced greatly. You will be ready for your rites in no time.” 

“Good.” He looked you up and down and you blushed.

“I’ll see you later Neteyam.” 

“Bye.” Neteyam watched you leave, making sure nobody bothered you. He also watched your hips and tail sway side to side but that's beside the point. 

Jale stepped forward and looked at him. 

“Are you going to listen now?” He asks and Neytiri joins him on the other side. 

“You risk our family’s safety”

“Nothing will happen. And I’m not going to stop, and the two of you know that.” He took a step back from them and walked away. Jake and Neytiri looked at each other, clear worry on their faces. 

-

A/n- I HATE THIS ENDING, it's a piece of shit im sorry the next part will be better. This was also supposed to be slow burn but i said fuck it and got to the point.

[starcollectorsilas]

I love seeing people compare music to their favourite characters and go like 'oh yeah this verse might be this character... and then this one is the other one... and then this little bit here is them both honestly. Or something like that' because I HAVE gone through every taylor swift song on evermore and folklore and compared it to skk. Sorry to be autistic on the writing account, but this is a fanfic writing account and I'm writing my second novel length fic about them so what did you expect.

folklore/evermore are very canon skk, and verge into fanon and some songs are the reason for very specific head canons, or some of the ways I write the way they perceive each other. 1989... DON'T GET ME STARTED OMFG HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO BLANK SPACE? I THINK IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT HAVE AND OMG IT'S SO SKK CODED LIKE WTF. I HAVE VERY FIRM OPINIONS ABOUT WHICH LYRICS ARE THEIRS. Also the vault tracks literally exist what more do you want from me. 'i think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running and say the one thing I've been wanting' okay dazai pack it up you did that already, beast exists. 'i call my mom sister she said that it was for the best remind myself the more i gave you'd want me less' yeah yeah chuuya we know he left you get over it, it wasn't personal(think that line could go for either of them but the other line 'the way you faded till i left' feels more Dazai personally). Plus suburban legends. For personal reasons I struggle to listen to song without SPIRALING FUCK YOU THAT ONE PERSON SEHDHSSJNS but very skk as well 'we were born to be national treasures' is very soulmates of them. And out of the woods screams them in fanfic when they try to get better. Red, straight away all too well. They both remember it all too well. All too well skk cover with switching vocals anyone? The last time. The one with gary lightbody. Underrated song, is my favourite on that album, and SO THEM. 'this is the last time you tell me ive got it wrong, this is the last time i wont hurt you anymore' because they're fated to be together and are constantly drawn to each other and yet keep HURTING EACH OTHER RAGH. also 'we are never getting back together' is pretty funny and nice when applied to them. also state of grace. any taylor song with a mild drop of religious imagery is them cause yeah. but 'i never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same'... okay pack it up, we don't have time for your yearning. 'you were never a saint' (dazai abt chuuya) 'and i loved in shades of wrong' (bc hes toxic and doesnt know how to healthily like people) 'we learned to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts' (bc they continue anyway and stick it out, living with the pain of being bad for each other because of how deeply they care). I almost do. Dazai after leaving. moving on to more religion, holy ground. 'for the first time i had something to lose' 'and i guess we fell apart in the usual way, and the storys got dust on every page' AAAAAA IT'S THEM. Can't really speak on debut- but I've listened to our song and picture to burn and if picture to burn isn't a vengeful chuuya idk what is. BOY OH BOY SPEAK NOW.

excuse me. one moment.

Mine- literally a skk au

Sparks fly- 'the way you move is like a rainstorm and im a house full of cards, you're the kind of reckless that should send me running' that entire verse screams dazai's fascination with corrupted chuuya, and the whole song is well yeah

back to december- dazai when they reunite just trust me on it just trust me on it. the repetition was intentional, that's how serious i am. 'i go back to december all the time' 'I got back to december to make it all right'

speak now- might just be me but it really makes me think of teen skk in fanfic harbouring urges to ruin the others relationship for 'some reason. I don't know, seeing him with her just... irks me'.

the story of us- first verse is chuuya, second verse is dazai, and the third is them both because they're LOSERS and they LOVE EACH OTHER and FUCK I'm CRYING NOW. 'id tell you i miss you but i don't know how' EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BASTARD.

enchanted- self explanatory. for more context, i really think it's from dazai's pov in this case, could probably be both, but dazai fell first and harder so it's really like god he's been in love ever since he got kicked into that wall he wants him around forever. He held Chuuya's hand in the fight with rimbaud and then had all those close moments in the manga and went home to lie on his bed kicking his feet and giggling don't lie. (god im still crying this isn't helping)

better than revenge- they're both pretty vengeful idk it makes me think of iwsynttr for some reason

haunted- chuuya pov. 'i thought i had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong' 'stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had' they're so sad, but the general idea of chuuya thinking he has figured out dazai and knowing how he thinks and then dazai just leaves suddenly and he's like 'Wow! I thought i knew you. How do i forget this'. 'wont finish what you started' bringing chuuya into the mafia then leaving it.

last kiss- 'you told me you love me so why did you go away' chuuya pov again oh god it hurts why am i doing this to myself? 'never imagined we'd end like this, your name, forever the name on my lips' yep yep ow.

LONG LIVE.- LISTEN. TO. THE. SONG. AND TELL ME IT'S NOT DAZAI AND CHUUYA. I COULD DO A WHOLE ANALYSIS ON JUST THIS SONG. 'promise me this, that you'll stand by me forever, but if god forbid fate should step in, and force us into a goodbye...please tell them my name, tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how i hope they shine, long live the walls we crashed through, i had the time of my life with you' FUCK IT'S DAZAI AN HE'S IN LOVE WITH CHUUYA AND DOESNT KNOW ODAS GONNA DIE YET, JUST THINKS HE DOESNT GET TO KEEP ANYTHING HE WANTS. FUUUUUCK. THEY'RE IN LOVE AND DAZAI WANTS IT REMEMBERED PLEASE I'M SO SAD.

anyway, i can't pretend I'm normal about skk anymore i haven't even covered fearless, reputation, lover or midnights please somebody encourage me to actually write full things dedicated to each album and the most fitting songs from said albums please i'll do it and plus i need to actually gather proof for my autism diagnosis appointment so this would be a good way to to that probably. anyway yeah this'll never make it out my drafts lol

[deerabigailhobbs]

Ok hear me out:

Adamgail siblings x inbred by Ethel Cain. Thoughts?

Oh, how I love analysing song lyrics :D

So I had listened to Inbred before this ask, and I'd actually say it's one of my favourite Ethel Cain songs, but I had sorta taken it at face value. "Oh, this is a song about an inc*stous relationship between siblings" and honestly, that's not something I'm comfortable talking about, especially with characters I see a lot of myself in. But after looking the song up online, seeing others interpretations and analysing the song myself, I think I've found an angle I'm comfortable enough discussing.

So, let me reiterate, because I think it's important. This song analysis is not about that kind of brother-sister relationship. I do not fuck with that type of shit. This is merely my interpretation of the song through the lense of the characters. Any references to love here, while dark and twisted, is strictly platonic.

Anyway, apparently in an interview, Hayden (the person behind Ethel Cain, for those unfamiliar) said that- quoting a Reddit comment here- "when she's using the word inbred, she's reffering to generational trauma. Trauma being inbred throughout the family." And I'd never seen this take before! Really opened my eyes and made me listen to the song in a completely different light.

The song is about a younger sister being dependant on her older brother. He's the only one she can fully trust. The father isn't mentioned in the song, but the mother is said to be "comatosed." I won't go through every single line of the song, but I'll do my best for parts I think are relevant to their characters. :]

Longgggg intro out of the way, now time to break down these lyrics.

"Watching him through holes in his door"

Now, I said that the father isn't explicitly mentioned on the track, but I do think this could be applied to Garrett Jacobs. Here, Abigail is watching him butcher the girls, perhaps he wants Abigail to retain some innocence, to him she's still his little girl. So he takes the victim(s) at night to his Cabin and carves them up. But Abigail is there, witnessing it all. Sort of a punishment she inflicts upon herself. She led the girls to their deaths, now she much watch the aftermath.

"Sucking on the back of his leg to stay warm"

The "him" now is referring to Adam. She's always by his side, so close that she could be "sucking on his leg" like some sort of leech, tight and unable to let go. He's the rock in her life. The only person she can feel safe around. There's also her "staying warm" and I like to think it of her as staying alive. The girls she sacrifices are simply one layer of protection, her brother being another. Perhaps she thought (especially in her younger years) that if anything were to go bad, if her father finally pointed the blade her way, Adam would come and save her. Keep her blood from spilling out and going cold.

"Older brother made a name for himself with the cops

Scumbag fuck, but I swear that he's not"

Due to their father's attention being solely on Abigail, their mother's presence all but absent, Adam would resort to other methods of getting it. That being: lashing out. Getting in trouble with the police, with school, with his parents, because even when they yell and hit him (more specifically his father), they're acknowledging his existence.

I think Abigail wouldn't understand at first. Just see her brother as a troublemaker. But as the years go by, all she sees is a boy in desperate need of love. And she can try her best, to give him that, to be there for him, but a sister's love cannot replace a parent's.

"He's so good to me and to nobody else

So you should watch yourself"

Pretty self explanatory. Adam may be a nuisance to almost everyone in his life, but he has a tremendous amount of love for his little sister. Although she can't replace a parent's loving touch, he still appreciates her for the love she can provide.

And to Abigail, Adam is like her knight in shining armour. He's there to protect her. If she were ever in immediate danger, she's sure he would be there for her, ready to defend. However, I can see her believing this less and less as she grew up, knowing her brother is just as helpless as she is.

"Mama's comatose, she can't leave the bed"

Their mother isn't literally comatosed, but with how absent she is in their lives, it's like she is. A person, alive, but not fully there. Unaware of what the rest of the family knows. (PSA: I do think Louise was actually a wonderful mother in canon, this is merely for the analysis)

"Something smells rotten and it's starting to spread"

A literal approach to this would be the smell of blood and decay from the victims. Another, the spread of crazy. Like Abigail said, "can you catch crazy?" Will her and Adam turn out like their father? Is it already spreading to them? Like a parasite, slowly infecting and taking over their bodies, until one day all they can see is their father staring back at them in the mirror.

"I'm bad, he's worse, we're already dead

We're already dead"

Abigail is bad for luring the girls to her father. "He's worse" isn't Abigail's thoughts on Adam, if anything she'd think he's better than her in a lot of ways, but what others (their town, peers etc) perceive him as. Abigail is the sweet, quiet girl who is "close" to her father. Meanwhile, Adam is a troublemaker who's the black sheep of the family. Due to the other themes of the song, I can see them living in a very religious area that isn't tolerable of what they consider "abnormal." So their hatred of Adam could also be due to other things, such as homophobia or transphobia (as I know trans Adam is a popular headcanon).

"You can't win em all

Who knows how much longer

I'll lay on the floor

Touch me till I vomit"

I interpret this as Abigail finally meeting her father's blade, bleeding out on the kitchen floor. And all she wants is for Adam to be by her side. To hold her until she vomits up all her blood, slowly dying on the cold tiles.

"I'm not scared of God

I'm scared he was gone all along"

Another self explanatory lyric. Abigail's life has been nothing but misery, and she starts to question the validity of God herself. Or maybe wonders if he turns a blind eye to her pain and suffering.

"Who will take the fall

Who of us is stronger

You'll just want it more

If you could, you'd have fought it

But you know you're not

From the start, they knew you were wrong"

This part stumped for a bit (and still does, I'll be honest) but I thinkkkk I've got something. Who will be more like their father? Who will follow in his footsteps? Going back to what Hayden said about generational trauma, which of them has an inbred desire to kill? Who has bloodlust flowing through their veins? Both? And of so, who's strong enough to fight it off?

I think if we're going off of the lyrics, it's Adam. I mentioned this in a previous ask, but the thought of Abigail escaping her dad, going to her brother, only to find out he's helping murderers really sticks with me. He took the fall. He tried to escape, to fight off murder, and came right back to it. And now he knows he can't fight it. That he's just like their father, handy with a knife. Knowledgeable in opening people up and seeing their organs on display. The people back at home were right, he's wrong. He's worse.

Skipping the second verse because it already goes over some of what I've discussed and well... That part, but I do want to discuss one lyric.

"If he wakes up, he'll show you what I'm talking about."

I have an image in my head of Abigail, the events of Hannibal playing out after her father cut her throat, and all she can think about is her brother. He'll see her on the news, he'll be here any moment now. To protect, like he had in the past. Unbeknownst to her, Adam is currently rotting away in some bathroom, his skeleton finally starting to show underneath decaying skin.

[dearabby1990]

Chapter 11: You didn’t hear it from me..

Eddie leans forward ready for whatever information Gareth has to offer. “Okay dude I’ll tell you everything I know but you didn’t hear it from me understand?! My mom will kill me if she finds out I’m saying anything her Aunt & my mom have been friends since middle school theyd both have my head on a stick!” Eddie nods in agreement & extends his hand as a solid promise to his friend not to say a word about what he’s about to hear. “I guess I’ll start at the beginning.. her aunt & cousin have been camping with my mom & I for as long as I can remember mostly because of my dad taking off her uncle took me fishing and hunting a lot manly activity is what he’d call it & every once in awhile Jessica would have Jamie with her so I’ve known her for quite some time too it’s why we waive at each other it’s not like that at all trust me we’re not each others type she’s more like a sister if anything. I know some of her but the younger her before everything happened… well her mom ended up getting really sick it was bad Ed in & out of the hospital for what felt like forever just to end up being hooked to a million machines at home for hospice.. during the hospital stays Jamie was passed around a lot staying with random family members her dad always prioritized work before Jamie or her mom but we all knew he was cheating with his secretary I overheard my mom on the phone with her Aunt Betty Jane & after Jamie’s mom passed away her dad took to the bottle & started hurting her when he wasn’t completely ignoring her she took a map out one day & tossed a dart at it in hopes of starting a new life away from all the bullshit & when it landed here she thought it was gods way of saying she needed to be with her aunt… Jamie has been through hell shit even her prom was ruined by some fuckin prick jock I’m still looking for that piece of shit too I’ll kill him I swear it!!” Eddie’s eyes pop out of his head “Gareth what the fuck happened at prom?! What guy did he hurt her?!” Gareth put his hands on his friends shoulders making him sit back down. “Look this dude was a grade a prick him & his jock buddies made a bet that he couldn’t get her to goto prom with him & put out & embarrassed her in front of the whole school they carried her minus the blood he made fun of her & said something along the lines of she looks like a pig or something but I remember Jessica being on the phone at my house & the way Jamie was crying it just made my blood boil it’s why she’s so self conscious about how she looks in her head she thinks shes ugly,fat & undeserving of love because of all she’s been through it’s why she’s not letting you in Eddie I wish you would’ve came to us before the twerps but then again you didn’t know I knew her” Eddie’s heart breaks as he tries to wrap his head around all he’s just been told. How could anyone do such things to you? Eddie thought you’re pure perfection & anyone who’s hurt you he’d surely teach a lesson or two or kick their ass whatever came first. Him & Gareth share a few joints as he fills him in on all he knows of happy Jamie so he can help open her heart to him he’d do anything to make you smile. Learning your favorite colors & songs favorite flowers and animal to see at the zoo of course it’d be a Siberian tiger they’re exotic & beautiful like you. He’d be sure to go get you a stuffed animal & write you a letter to leave on your doorstep he is determined to get you to not only open up to him but fully let him in. You’re all he can think about he’s already written several songs and made several d&d characters that all look oddly like you even Mike & dustin noticing the resemblances of each elf & fairy that’s been presented over the past few weeks. He’s been trying to find the right words to say to you he’s already got a 2 foot stuffed tiger at home for you in his closet & a card all picked out and set on his desk he just doesn’t know what or how to say what he feels. Eddie isn’t used to feeling this way about someone the idea of love itself scared him to death but not when it came to you he was ready.

[final-girl96]

STOLEN HEART CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

YN

“It's a good song, honey. If I knew you could write like this I would have had you write all our songs,” my dad said, chuckling at the end. I rolled my eyes, a laugh escaping me. “Thanks, dad. I don't know, after everything that happened…with him…it just sort of came to me and I opened my notebook and started writing.”

Fragments of Love

(Verse 1)

I once believed in the words you whispered in the night

But now I see they were just empty promises, not quite

You said forever, but forever seems so far

Now I'm left with these broken pieces of my heart

(Chorus)

Fragments of love, scattered on the ground

Each shattered dream, lost and never found

You promised me the world, but all I got was pain

Now I'm left picking up the pieces, trying to remain

(Verse 2)

I held onto your words like they were precious gold

But now I see the lies that your stories told

You said you'd never leave, but now you're gone

Leaving me stranded in a world so cold and alone

(Chorus)

Fragments of love, scattered on the ground

Each shattered dream, lost and never found

You promised me the world, but all I got was pain

Now I'm left picking up the pieces, trying to remain

(Bridge)

I believed in you, I trusted in your name

But now I see the truth behind this cruel game

Promises broken, like fragile glass

Leaving me stranded in this broken past

(Chorus)

Fragments of love, scattered on the ground

Each shattered dream, lost and never found

You promised me the world, but all I got was pain

Now I'm left picking up the pieces, trying to remain

(Outro)

Fragments of love, echoes of a broken vow

But I'll gather the pieces, some day, someway, somehow

“I still make him disappear…” I snorted at that. “I think I'll be just fine. It still hurts but not as bad as it did,” I said. Dad hummed on the other side of the line. “Well, I may or may not have looked into what he's been up to. He went to rehab and just got out a couple weeks ago.” I cleared my throat and moved around on the couch to fold my legs under me. “Yeah, I saw him the other day in town. He's been sending me flowers for the past six fucking months. The greeting card always has a different way to apologize. I didn't know there were so many different ways but he found them.”

“That's what fame does to you, sweetheart. It makes it easier for you. You can have all the drugs and alcohol at your fingertips. Eddie was used to always being the laughing stalk. High school was hell for him; he got bullied. Now everyone loves him. Men want to be him. Women want to be with him. Girls are going to be jealous of you and hate you because you are with…were with him. Everyone wants to party because nobody is going to tell them to stop. The only way you can get help is if you want it. This was his breaking point; losing you completely opened his eyes. Don't be too hard on him.”

My dad gave me a lot to think about after I got off the phone with him. I could see Eddie was trying to get better, but I'm still working on healing myself. Right now my priority was to get to work on time. I don't need to work but I want to. I want to make my own money and not live off my dad's money. So I got a job at Hawkings Rockin’ Records. It was a small record store in town at the little plaza beside the video store. Robin and Steve Harrington used to work at the video store.

I grabbed my jacket, slipping my arms into the sleeves. It was a little chilly in Hawkins; being the end of October; only one more days until it's Hallowen. I love autumn, it's my favorite season. The leaves are changing and falling, Halloween and scary movies, everything is all spooky. The weather was perfect. It was still kind of warm but there was chill in the air. I had Billy help me decorate the house inside and out. He hated every moment of it but it still helped me. I was planning a small get together for Halloween.

I've grown close with not just Billy but his sister Max and her boyfriend Lucas and their friends Dustin, Will, El, and Mike. I also invited Steve and Robin, along with Nancy, Mike's older sister, and Will's older brother Jonathan. They have all known each other and were close for years, so it was a little awkward at first but they've accepted me into their group with open arms. Now we're all close and frequently hang out.

I went to work, did Inventory, and restalked some stuff. Everything that my dad had said to me was replaying over and over in my mind. Eddie had gone to rehab and seemed like he was cleaning his life up. He's been sending me flowers for six months straight. Yesterday flowers were believed with a simple apology note. “I'm sorry. Happy Halloween. Love E.” He was trying. He wasn't giving up. Not on himself or me. The flowers were fucking gorgeous as always.

This bouquet was made up of black and orange roses with sunflowers mixed in. The top of the flowers was covered with a thin layer of fake spider web and had a couple little spiders on top. They were wrapped in black paper with a ribbon tied around the stems. The ribbon was black with white skulls on it. This was hands down my favorite bouquet he has sent me. I mean, all the flowers he's sent are absolutely beautiful, but this one was my favorite. Halloween is my favorite holiday and the flowers were perfect. I have them in a vase in the middle of the kitchen island.

After work I went to Benny's to meet everyone. We were going to be planning out tomorrow night. We wanted to have a small get together with just the twelve of us. Pizza, snacks and drinks, music, games, horror movies. We just had to figure out what movies we were going to watch and what everyone wanted on their pizza and what kind of drinks to get. It was going to be a fun time. It's something I've needed. Having these guys in my life has helped so much.

I was grateful to have them. I didn't mind living in a small town. It was way better than always being on the road and having paparazzi following you everywhere you went and having your whole life plastered all over the place. Now, I'm not saying paparazzi haven't tried to come here, because they have. But my dad had put a stop to it. He's taken all the attention away from Eddie and I's relationship issues and put it on himself. Plus it helped that El's dad, Hopper, was the Chief of police. So if I have a problem I just have to call him up and he comes to take care of it.

When I walked onto Benny's everyone was already there. “Took you long enough,” Billy said, walking up to me. I rolled my eyes at him. “Left me with these idiots.” I elbowed him in the side. “Be nice. You're lucky to have people like them in your life. Even if you were an asshole in the past.” He scoffed and we walked to the table. Everyone ordered what they wanted, we talked while we waited, and planned everything out while we ate. Then we left ten minutes before Benny had to close.

[clementine-side-blog]

Protect & Love - E.N

Summary: Being close friends in the orphanage, y/n and Edward move in together after leaving it. They eventually get in a relationship. Edward knows y/n has lots of trauma, has abandonment issues, and is very dependent, but he loves them very much. He wants to be with them for the rest of his life. He'll protect her always.

(A/N: This is based on what I know about age-re and my personal experiences with it. I know not every one's experience with it is the same. So, keep that in mind while reading <3)

ALSO HOLY FUCK THIS WHOLE FANFIC IS SO CUTE I'M PISSING PLUTONIUM ELEMENT ^v^

Content Warning: Y/n is an age regressor (regresses to like around 10-11 years old), explicit language, trauma, drugs, alcohol, abandonment issues, angst, fluff, panic attacks, PTSD, Edward being a great friend and partner, AFAB!Reader, she/her pronouns. (rare moment for me not to make y/n gay in some way.)

Songs For Inspo:

daydreaming - Rebzyyx, horrormovies

La Vie en rose - Edith Piaf

Wanderings - Mook

Love Like You - Rebecca Sugar

rises the moon - Liana Flores

Kids - Current Joys

~Read Below Cut~

(also, idk shit about orphanages so i will most likely get how they work VERY wrong. pls don't take any offensive from how i write it <3 im doing my best pookies)

~

"Children, gather around now! Come on, hurry up! We have a new friend joining our home."

The children in the room all huddled up around Sister Addams. Edward stood in the back, not wanting to deal with wiggling through the crowd of kids. He didn't like being in big crowds. Instead, he stood on his tippy toes, trying to get a good look at who was joining the orphanage.

"This is y/n! I trust that you'll all make her feel comfortable. Go on, y/n. Say something about yourself." Sister Addams encouraged.

Edward couldn't see her too well, even on the tips of his toes. But, eventually, he found a little crack of space that he could see her through. She looked really skinny and frail, just like him. But, so did everyone else in the orphanage really. A brown teddy bear was held tightly to her chest, as if it was her form of life support.

'She's pretty...'

"Um, I like...um...ponies?" She mumbled.

"Ponies! Isn't that nice? I'm sure you'll find other girls that like ponies too. Your bed is at the very far left end, near the window." She said.

Y/n nodded as Sister Addams left the room. Some children stared at her for a little while longer before walking away, while others left immediately after. She stayed standing there for a little while longer. Once the crowd dispersed, Edward could see her more clearly now. She wore a yellow sundress with white knee socks bunched around her ankles. It looked like she was crying. Pushing up his glasses, he walked towards her.

"Hi, I'm Edward." He said, holding his hand out.

Y/n looked at him, bear still held tightly to her chest. After a little bit, she held out one hand and shook his. She found a handshake to be extremely formal for their age.

"How old are you?" Edward asked.

"I'm 10..."

"Me too."

Y/n looked down at the floor, gripping the bear tight again. She wiped away her tears with the back of her arm. Edward stood awkwardly, glancing around the room. He didn't really know what to do about her crying.

"Why are you sad?"

"My p-parents were mean to me. I g-got taken aw-way from them..." She said between soft cries.

Edward noticed how she fidgeted with the ear of the stuffed animal. Perhaps that was a stuffed animal from when she lived with her parents.

"I'm sorry that they were mean. I don't know my parents." He said bluntly.

"Y-You don't have parents?" She asked, curiously.

"Well, I do. I just don't know where they are...or who they are."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Y/n trailed.

Edward pointed at her face; more specifically her eyes. Y/n looked at his finger, going cross-eyed as she did so. He smiled and dropped his hand back down.

"I like your eyes. They're pretty."

Y/n blushed, smiling softly.

"Thanks, I like your glasses. They look cool. I bet you can see everything with them!" She giggled.

"I don't think it's possible to see everything. A human's peripheral vision isn't that wide." He stated.

"You're silly." Y/n said.

"Thank you?"

~

After that first interaction, the two kids became inseparable. They were best friends till the very end. Edward was literally the only person y/n ever hung out with. She didn't get along with anyone else. Plus, Edward was the only one who talked to her when she came to the orphanage. She was alone, abandoned by her family, hurt, and he was there to make her feel welcome. Needless to say, she got attached to him quickly. As they got older, around 14, that's when Edward started to realize that y/n had severe trauma. Who could blame her? He was a smart kid, always reading books on information that seemed unimportant, and one of the books he read was on psychology. He deducted that y/n had abandonment issues, which was justifiable seeing as what she went through. When they were both 16, there was one thing that y/n did that he found an answer for after reading some of Freud's work. Though, he didn't really need a book to understand what it was.

~

Edward and y/n sat at the cafeteria tables, the only ones sitting at the table they were at. No one ever sat with them, but they didn't really care. In fact, they favored the privacy. Looking up from his 'food' Edward noticed y/n had barely eaten anything. He sighed, leaning over the table slightly and moved her tray to get her attention. She had been spaced out the entire time.

"Hey, you need to eat something. Ok?" He said.

Y/n snapped out of her daze, fidgeting with the bear on her lap. She carried it around with her everywhere. Everyone in the orphanage made fun of her for it. But, it was something that brought a lot of comfort to her. Edward didn't mind it. He found comfort in books and y/n found comfort in a stuffed animal. What was the big deal?

"M' not really that hungry..." She murmured.

Edward scoffed softly, rubbing his hand over his forehead in frustration. He grabbed the fork and her hand, placing it on her palm. She looked up at him, eyes big and just as pretty as they were when he first saw her.

"Eat. Please? Just a few bites at least." He asked.

Y/n sighed, but gave in. She took a bite of her food, and Edward smiled. He was glad that she was eating. After a few more bites, she put the fork back down. He wanted to tell her to eat more, but he was just glad she ate something. Edward looked at her a little more closely, seeing how she was positioned and acting.

"Are you ok?" Edward questioned.

She shook her head, looking down at her lap. He wasn't quite sure what was wrong with her. Edward leaned forward, elbows propped on the table. She was picking at the fuzz on the bear; something she did when she was nervous or uncomfortable. He picked up on it immediately.

"Oh, is it...are you...?" He asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention to them.

She nodded.

"Um, ok. Do you want to go back to our room?" He asked.

She nodded again. Edward could tell that she was extremely uncomfortable. It was pretty obvious now. He stood up and picked his tray up.

"Are you done eating?"

Y/n nodded. Edward picked up her tray and placed it on top of his. He started to walk away, but y/n grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. Stopping, he turned around and looked down at her. He sighed. She didn't want him to leave her alone.

"Well, come with me then." He said.

Y/n stood up, holding one of the bear's arms in her hand tightly as she walked next to him. People stared at her, making her feel like she was in the spotlight. Everyone in the orphanage thought that Edward and y/n were the strangest kids in the building. So, when they stood next to each other, everyone looked. Why wouldn't they? They all wanted a look at the freaks. The two of them did their best to ignore it though as Edward put the trays on the counter. Quickly, they left the lunchroom and turned the corner. Within a minute, they were back in their room. Y/n walked to her bed and sat down on it, legs drawn up to her chest as her head hung between her knees. Edward grabbed a book from under his bed and walked over to her. He sat down on the foot of the bed, facing her as he opened up his book. This was a frequent thing that happened with y/n. Edward had concluded from observing (and sneaking onto the computer in the library for research) that y/n age regressed. It was a coping mechanism, no doubt to help her cope with her childhood trauma. She felt embarrassed of it, not wanting to be around anyone when it happened. Well, other than Edward. He wouldn't make fun of her. He didn't think it was weird. He actually helped her when it happened.

"Do you need to be alone or do you want company?" He asked, flipping through the book he had.

"Company." She said simply.

"Ok. Do you want to read with me?"

Y/n wiped a tear away from her eye, sniffling. She brought her head up, looking at what he was reading. The title said 'Frankenstein'. Y/n pointed at the cover of the book, tapping it multiple times. She wanted to say something, but she couldn't figure out how to say it. Edward gave her time.

"Is this the book where that guy makes that monster?" She asked finally.

"Yeah, I like it a lot. I've read it multiple times." He said.

"I wanted to read it." Y/n said.

"Want me to read it to you?" Edward suggested.

Y/n nodded, sitting next to him and resting her head on his shoulder. Once she was settled, he opened up the book. He was already more than halfway through, but he'd start over for her. He didn't mind. His fingers flipped through the pages until he found the first chapter. Adjusting his glasses, he cleared his throat before starting to read.

"To Mrs. Saville, England..."

~

The two of them kept going in and out of foster homes. No one ever wanted to 'keep' them. But, to be honest, they were ok with that. They didn't like being apart from each other. Every time y/n would come back, she would run into Edward's arms and cry. She would tell him how much she missed him and that she didn't want to leave him ever again. He felt so bad for her. Edward was certain that no one could take care of her quite like he could. He was the only one who knew her well. Well, eventually, Edward turned 18. Oh, y/n was a wreck. But, they had already made a plan.

~

"Hey, hey, it's ok! Your birthday is in a few months. You can hang in for a few more months, right?" He said gently, hugging her close to his chest.

"No I can't! Don't le-leave me!" She sobbed.

"I can't stay. You know that." Edward sighed.

He pushed y/n off of him, grabbing her shoulders. The poor thing had tears streaming down her face. How would she survive without him? Edward had always been there for her for almost 8 years straight. The people in the orphanage were so mean to her too. He wiped away her tears.

"Remember our plan? I was already given a job at KTMJ. While I'm out, I'll get an apartment for us. And when you turn 18, I'll be right behind those doors waiting for you. I promise you." He said.

Y/n sniffled, clearing her throat as she looked down at the ground. She sighed, holding back more tears from pouring out. Edward smiled at her as she looked back up at him. She had small grin on her face.

"Y-You're really smart, Eddie. Already ha-have a job and you haven't e-even left yet. You've got e-everything planned out..." She lightly chuckled.

"Of course I do, you know I'm a planner."

"Can I have one more hug?" She asked softly.

Edward nodded, giving her a tight hug for the millionth time. She wrapped her arms around his neck, letting out a shaky breath. Maybe if she never let go he would never have to leave. No, of course that wouldn't work. He had to go. She had to push through.

"Ok, I'll be ok..." She told herself as she pulled away from the hug.

"Yeah, you're brave and strong. You've got this." He reassured.

Edward picked up his suitcase that had his belongings in it. It wasn't much of course. He gave y/n another smile, ruffling her hair up. She swatted his hand away, glaring at him. Holding up his hands in defense, he walked towards the doors that left the orphanage. Y/n watched him leave, giving him a wave before he left her alone in the building.

'Now what?'

~

Well, Edward had kept his promise. When y/n was let go from the orphanage, he was outside waiting for her. She ran to him and practically jumped into his arms. From an outsiders perspective, it would look like they were a couple. But, they weren't. They were just really good friends. But, both of them would be lying if they said they didn't have feelings for the other. Regardless, Edward brought y/n to the apartment he had got for them. He could only afford a one bedroom apartment. Y/n understood, she didn't really have a problem with it. But, Edward being the gentleman he was let her sleep in his bed while he slept on the couch. Y/n looked for a job, though she had difficulty finding a good one. It was so hard for her to go out and be around other people. She was socially awkward and got so nervous so easily. But, she ended up landing a job as a barista at a coffee shop. Cliche? Sure. Did she care? No. She just wanted a job so she could help with rent. She was starting to get adjusted to life outside the orphanage, she could finally be in a comfortable setting, and she was living with her best friend. How could things get any better?

~

Edward and y/n sat at the table near the kitchen. The both of them had had a long day at work. Y/n yawned, taking a bite of her cereal. Yep, cereal for dinner once again. A meal for champions. That's what she liked to call it.

"Hey, y/n?" Edward said.

She looked up from her bowl, a dribble of the milk trickling from the corner of her mouth. Edward chuckled, placing his spoon down in the bowl. He leaned forward and used his thumb to wipe away the milk, giving her a soft smile. Y/n giggled at the action. Edward sighed, he wasn't really sure how to ask the question he so desperately wanted to ask. So, he decided to just be blunt with it.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked.

Y/n's eyes widened, dropping her spoon in the bowl. Edward's eyes widened too, glancing around the room awkwardly. She nodded frantically, a huge smile plastered on her face. He gave a sigh of relief internally. Thank heavens. Because of how close they sat to each other, y/n grabbed his hand and entwined it with hers. She hummed, resting her cheek on the back of his hand. Edward watched her closely, seeing how comfortable she was around him. It made him happy to know that he could make her feel safe. He looked down to the newspaper in front of him, looking over the daily crossword. Y/n reached over and grabbed his pencil. Raising an eyebrow, he watched as she filled in 20 across. The hint was "a thing that becomes terrifying or destructive to its maker; a movie; a book". When she pulled away from the paper and placed the pencil on the table, he read what she wrote down.

'Frankenstein'

Grinning from ear to ear, he looked over at her. Pride was evident on his face, and y/n could see it. She so dearly loved when he was proud of her. He was the only person in her life that ever felt proud of her.

"Well look at you go! You smart cookie, you."

Y/n shrugged, resting her cheek back on his hand. Edward hummed to himself as he filled out the rest of the crossword puzzle. It took him a little under two minutes. It was a fairly easy crossword puzzle; at least for him it was. With a goofy grin on his face, he asked a question.

"Does this mean I can sleep in my bed again? With you?"

She nodded happily.

"Thank God..."

~

Edward knew that y/n was a bit of a handful. He had been 'dealing' with her for 8 years. But, he didn't really see it as a problem. He loved who she was. Yeah, she was different, but he loved that about her. He knew that she struggled with her trauma, but he wanted to help her with it. When you love someone, you'd do anything for them. That's exactly how Edward was. Usually, he was a very shy person, hating PDA and not wanting any attention brought onto him. But, now that he was dating her, PDA was inevitable. He now loved PDA. Granted, it wasn't like they were making out in public, except for that one time. Rather, they were always holding hands. Y/n was always in Edward's arms. He never let her out of his sight.

~

-PRESENT-

~

Y/n was in the 'lobby' of Edward's office. The receptionist casted glances at her occasionally. Looking at the nameplate, y/n saw that it said 'Amy Tompkins'. Standing up, y/n walked over to her and waved. Amy hesitantly waved back with a small smile.

"Hi! I'm y/n!" She said, holding out her hand.

Amy raised an eyebrow, but took her hand and shook it.

"Nice to meet you y/n, I'm Amy."

"Oh, I know! I read the plate! I just wanted to ask, is your job hard?" She asked, propping her elbows on the raised counter.

Tompkins smirked, amused at the question. When y/n had walked in earlier, she mentioned that she was just waiting for Edward to get off of work. People at the office had heard that Edward Nashton had a girlfriend, but they didn't really believe it. And now that Amy was actually seeing her, she was surprised. For Edward Nashton's girlfriend, they sure seemed to be the complete opposite of him.

"Uh, not really no. I mean, sometimes our clients can be...a bit rude...but other than that it's pretty easy." She answered.

"Hmph, I hate customer service so much." Y/n sighed.

"You work in customer service?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, I'm a barista."

"Oh, so you really get cranky customers, don't you?" She laughed.

Y/n groaned, nodding her head.

"You have no idea..."

Amy chuckled, looking down at the computer as she typed something. Y/n hummed to herself, glancing at the clock. Only a few more minutes before Edward got off of work. She glanced over her shoulders, as if she was trying to be sneaky about something. Y/n cupped a hand over her mouth.

"Do you have candy? I've heard receptionists usually have candies out." She whispered.

Amy couldn't help but let a giggle out. She nodded, grabbing a cute glass jar that had individually wrapped chocolates in it. Y/n's eyes widened. She had rarely ever had chocolate her entire life since she grew up in the orphanage. It was like a rare delicacy to her. Gotham's orphanages weren't the best when it came to taking care of kids.

"Oh my gosh...can I...can I have some?" She asked.

The receptionist nodded, pushing the bowl closer to her. Usually, she would be annoyed if someone was talking this much to her. But, y/n was actually really sweet and entertaining. Plus, she was extremely bored and got off work in a few minutes. Who cared, really?

"Have at it. You can take all of them if you want. I have to get new candy anyways." Amy said.

"No way! Are you serious! Like, for real!?"

"Yeah, help yourself."

Y/n didn't hesitate to grab a huge handful of the chocolates. Amy watched in amusement as y/n scooped the candy into her coat pocket. The door that led to the cubicles opened, and Edward stepped out. He was surprised to see y/n there because she was supposed to be at work still. But, then he remembered that she had the day off, so it made sense to him. His eyes landed on her hand in the candy jar and he looked at Amy. The receptionist had a dorky smile on her face.

"Eddie! Did you know they have chocolate here!? I can't even remember the last time I've had chocolate! Let alone see it!" She exclaimed.

Edward smiled awkwardly at Amy, stepping forward and grabbing y/n's hand. He propped his forearms up onto the counter as he looked at the receptionist. Y/n rested her head against his shoulder, getting the rest of the pieces of chocolate from the bowl and putting them in her pockets.

"Hey Amy, I know you're leaving soon, but could you do me a favor? Please?" He asked.

Amy smiled at the sight of Edward rubbing his thumbs over y/n's knuckles. She was a very romantic person and it warmed her heart to see the kind act. Plus, she had always been fond of Edward. People at work were far too mean to him when he was just a very kind person. She was glad to see that he had found happiness.

"Yeah, whaddya need?"

"Can you print out the files for the Wynn account? I would have printed them out myself, but I swear the printer in the copy room never has ink." He sighed.

"Yeah, no problem Ed."

Amy started to type on the keyboard, clicking with the mouse as she pulled up the files for the account. With another click, she had the papers printed out. Standing up from her chair, she walked over to the printer and waited for the pages to finish. Edward leaned over to his side, planting a kiss on y/n's head. She smiled, opening up one of the chocolate wrappers and popping the sweet treat in her mouth.

"Holy fuck this shit is so good!" She groaned.

Edward nudged her foot with his own. He had no problem with cussing, but they weren't really in an appropriate setting to cuss. She blushed, feeling embarrassed. Amy laughed, nodding her head as she attached the pages together with a paperclip and handed it to Edward.

"I know, that's kind of why I gave them all to you. If I eat anymore I swear I might pop." She joked.

"Thanks for the copies, Amy."

Edward nudged y/n again. Y/n knew what he was trying to communicate to her. She finished eating the chocolate as fast as she could.

"Thanks for the chocolate!" She smiled.

"No problem, you guys get home safe ok? I'll see you on Monday, Edward."

He walked towards the door, hand still entwined with y/n's as he waved to Amy. Y/n popped another chocolate in her mouth as Edward opened up the door.

"See you on Monday." He said.

The two of them walked out the door and made their way to the stairs. Y/n wanted to hop down over steps, but she held onto Edward's hand instead. She had missed him a lot all day. He looked over at her, seeing that she was eating another piece of chocolate. Shaking his head, he let out a breathy laugh.

"That was awfully nice of her to give you those chocolates. But, you know you can't eat them all tonight, right?" He asked.

Y/n looked at him, popping another chocolate in her mouth. He raised an eyebrow. She shrugged at him.

"Why not?" She asked.

"You're going to get extremely sick." He chuckled.

"That's a price I'm willing to pay." Y/n retorted.

"Oh yeah? Ok, well when you're puking later on I'll remind you that you said that." He rolled his eyes, opening up the front door to the building.

The two of them walked down to the subway, sitting on a bench and waiting for a train. Y/n dug into her bag with the hand that wasn't holding Edwards and grabbed her phone. She turned it on, put in her password, and showed it to Edward. He adjusted his glasses, looking at what was on the screen. He smiled when he realized what it was.

"There were two pigeons just hanging out outside of our apartment! It was so cute! Look, they're cuddling!" She said, shoving it in his face.

"Uh, well I can't really see it this close up." He said.

"Oh, yeah, oops." She said, pulling the phone away slightly.

"That's a cute picture though." He said, kissing her on the forehead.

The train arrived shortly after and the two of them got on it. Y/n yawned, using Edward's hand to cover her mouth as they both sat down. He smiled, letting go of her hand and placing it on her knee as he looked at his phone.

"You tired?" He asked.

The train started to move and Edward held onto her knee firmly so she didn't slide. He did that every single time. He would hold her hip and keep her close to him if they were standing and he would place his hand on her knee if they were sitting down. Edward was far from strong, but he did feel very protective over her. Living in Gotham was far from safe, so you always had to keep an eye out. But, no matter how many times he told that to y/n, she just couldn't seem to understand it. She was too friendly for her own good. So, he had to be extra careful for both of them. He did not consider himself to be a violent person, but if y/n was ever put in a bad situation, he was certain he would pulverize someone.

"A little, yeah..." She sighed.

"Well, maybe you should take a nap?" He suggested.

She nodded, yawning again as she laid on her side. Her head rested on his lap as she drew her knees to her chest. Edward smirked, amused at how eager she was to nap. He did not mean that she should nap at this very moment. But, as he saw her resting on his lap, he couldn't bring himself to move her. People were no doubt staring at the both of them, but he honestly did not care. Edward had seen far stranger things in Gotham's subways than someone taking a nap on someone's lap. He put his hand on her head, brushing his fingers through her hair as he went on his phone.

~

The train had stopped and the two of them had gotten off. Edward had to wake y/n up before that, and she was pretty grumpy. But, he told her that she could go right back to taking a nap when they got home. Just like he always did, he held onto her hand securely as they exited the subway station. Their apartment building was only a block away now. Y/n popped another piece of chocolate into her mouth, making Edward frown.

"Seriously, you should stop eating those. You're going to regret it later." He said.

"Are you threatening me, Edward Nashton?" She questioned.

"No, I'm just stating a fact. I know you. You like to eat a lot of candy, say that you'll be fine, and then you get really sick later on. Every. Single. Time."

"Ugh, fine. Whatever..." She grumbled.

He kissed her on the head.

"Thank you, sweetie."

Edward continued walking with her, but stopped when he felt his pocket was empty. Furrowing his eyebrows, he turned around. He groaned in irritation, looking back at y/n. He brought her over to the less crowded part of the sidewalk.

"I dropped my keys back there. Stay right here ok? I'll be right back." He said.

Y/n watched as he rounded the corner. But, as soon as he did that, people started walking towards her as well. She felt crowded and she pressed herself to the brick wall of the building. It was as if the wall of a dam broke and the water was flowing out rapidly. Her chest tightened and she felt her breathing pick up. It was a little sad how easily she got overwhelmed and anxious. But, to be fair, the streets of Gotham were overwhelming to almost everyone. She was just unable to process it alone. There was a reason she got a job at the closest place to their apartment. It was because she didn't want to have to take the subway or walk far. Only when it was absolutely necessary. She was trying to get better at it, but it took time. She felt like she was suffocating. She looked around, trying to find Edward. But, because of her spinning around, she got a little confused. The crowds of people made her feel like she was lost in a maze. Desperate to get out of the confining swarm of bodies, she ran into the nearest alley way. She panted, holding a hand over her heart as she tried to catch her breath. Being in that crowd reminded her of when she was with her parents. They would take her to 'crack houses', as they were both heavy addicts. They had no one else to watch her, so she had to tag along with them a lot. The houses were always so crowded and overwhelmed her. Often times, her parents would leave her alone in a room so they could shoot up in the other room. How polite...they didn't want their daughter seeing them get high. But, of course, they would bring her to a house full of drug addicts. There were so many times that she would almost step on or touch a needle. One of the people there even tried to get her to 'eat' a sliver of meth, telling her that it was candy. She didn't though. She was smarter than that.

"Y/n?! Y/n! Where are you?!" Edward called out.

She sunk down to her butt, bringing her knees up to her chest. When she got scared or was put into a scenario that reminded her of her traumatic childhood, she would regress. It was unpreventable. She could tell that it was happening, and that made her even more scared because she was out in the streets of Gotham while it was happening. She was so caught up in her emotions that she never even heard Edward call for her. Frantically, Edward came into the alley and looked around. His eyes widened as he saw y/n sitting on the ground. He was relieved to see her, but he was also worried. Walking over, he crouched down and placed a hand on her shoulder. She flinched, burying her head in between her knees. Just like she did in the orphanage. He gently embraced her in a hug, drawing her to his chest as he cradled her head.

"I was so scared when I couldn't find you..." He sighed.

"You let go of my hand!" She cried.

Edward felt a pang in his heart. She was right. That was a stupid thing that he did. He easily could have just brought her with him. Why didn't he? Even he didn't know. He helped her stand up, still holding her close to his chest. She sobbed into his shirt, gripping the fabric tightly. Edward scolded himself as he rubbed her back.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I don't know why I let go of you. It was really crowded today, and I know it scares you. But, I have you right now, ok? You're ok now." He cooed, planting a kiss on her head.

She didn't say anything. All she did was cry into his shirt. God, did that make him feel like a total piece of shit. Of course he didn't mean to scare her. He just wasn't thinking. Edward continued to rub her back as she cried. He could tell what was happening. She had gotten so overwhelmed and scared that she regressed to help herself calm down. It wasn't working that well, though. But, he was quick to help out.

"Sweet girl, I know that you're still shaken up, but we can't stay here all night. We need to get back home, ok?" He said.

"I don't want to go back out..." She hiccupped.

Edward pushed her away from the hug and crouched down. He looked up into her eyes as he held her hands in his own. Bringing them to his lips, he kissed them softly. His eyes were so kind and gentle behind his clear framed glasses.

"We have to baby. I promise I'll hold you the entire time."

She sniffled, wiping a few tears away that had trickled down her cheeks. Y/n looked out to the sidewalks. People still walked by, but it was less than before. She took a deep breath, letting it out through pursed lips. Edward tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"When we get back home we can watch a movie or a show if you want. We can relax alllll day. Doesn't that sound nice?" Edward asked sweetly.

"Yeah..."

"Well, if you want to do that then we need to get home. So, can you go back out with me? I can't go out without you." He frowned.

"You ca-can't?" She asked.

"No way! I get scared out in the crowd too! I feel a lot better when you're holding my hand." Edward smiled.

This was partially true and also just something he said to encourage y/n. Edward was perfectly fine walking through the crowded sidewalks of Gotham. He did get overwhelmed sometimes and had to take a breather, but he was mostly fine. He only said that because he knew that it would make y/n want to go back out more. Edward felt that they would be safer out in the street than an alley way.

"O-Ok, let's go. But, don't let go of my hand!" She said.

Edward grabbed her hand tightly, holding it up so she could see it. She smiled as he pretended he was locking a padlock. He mimed the act of tossing the key away. Looking back to her he gave a goofy grin.

"It's locked. I couldn't even let go if I tried."

They walked back out onto the sidewalk, making their way towards the apartment quickly. Y/n looked at him and giggled.

"Well, how are you going to unlock it?" She asked.

As they walked, Edward patted himself down with his free hand. He looked in the pockets of his coat, the pockets of his pants, and he shrugged. But, he squinted at y/n. He tapped on her chin, motioning for her to open her mouth. He pretended to grab something off her tongue. He 'held' it up between his two fingers.

"Why were you trying to eat the spare key?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I did not! You're not even holding anything!" She laughed.

"Pfft, you're ruining the magic of it." He rolled his eyes.

Before they knew it, they arrived at the apartment building. Y/n sighed in relief as they stepped inside. The sound of the hustle and bustle outside was deafened as the door closed behind them. Edward, still holding her hand, led her up the stairs to the floor they lived on. He fumbled with the keys for a little bit, but he eventually unlocked the door and opened it up. Y/n let go of his hand as she walked inside, so she could hang up her coat. After that, she went to the couch and faceplanted on it. Edward chuckled, removing his shoes and locking the apartment door. Truth be told, he was completely exhausted from his day at work. His 'higher ups' were as ignorant and boastful as always. His job was easy to him, but the people he had to deal with made it difficult. However, y/n always kept him in a cheerful and positive mood. It was nice to be able to come home from work and spend time with his best friend/partner. Edward walked over to her, grabbing her feet to take her shoes off. Once he did that for her, he put them next to his. He could tell that she was still very tired, and no doubt still in a regressed state. Edward went to her coat, grabbing the chocolate out of the pocket before he forgot. Walking into the kitchen, he opened up the door to the freezer and put the chocolates inside of it. Chocolate was always better when it was cold.

"Do you want to watch a show or movie? Or do you want to take a nap?" He asked, going back towards her.

Y/n mumbled into the couch, nodding her head. Edward sighed, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants as he looked at her. She raised her hands up, shaking them frantically. He rolled his eyes playfully, he sat down on the long part of the 'L' couch. Groaning softly, he reached over and grabbed y/n, placing her on his other side so that she was wedged between him and the armrest of the couch. She buried her face in his chest, hiking her leg up over his waist. Edward reached over and grabbed a light blanket, draping it over y/n's body.

"You never gave me an answer, baby. Do you want to take a nap or watch something?" He asked..

"I wanna watch something." She mumbled, her cheek against his chest.

"Ok, well what did you have in mind?" He asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, snuggling up closer to him. He sighed, trailing his hand under the blanket to rub her back. Edward took her silence as a way to say she didn't really care what they watched. So, he decided to put on a 'Forensic Files'. How original. After placing the remote down on the side table next to the couch, he stroked y/n's hair. She sat up almost instantly afterwards. Edward looked at her, raising an eyebrow. Without saying a word, she went into their bedroom. Edward's hands were slightly in the air, like he was shocked.

"Um, what ever happened to saying bye?" He asked jokingly.

Y/n came back to the couch, cuddling up to Edward just like she did before. This time, she had her old bear from the orphanage with her. He smiled, watching as she turned to face the T.V, bear tucked under her arm, blanket covering her body, and her head resting on his chest. If someone told him 8 years ago that he would be in a relationship with someone like y/n, he would have called them crazy. But, here he was, holding her in his arms like she was the most precious thing in the world. They both had fucked up pasts, traumatic childhoods, and issues. But, they found comfort in each other's company. They could confide in each other without any judgment. Edward could not imagine him with anyone else than her. Neither could y/n. They only wanted to be with each other. No one would understand y/n quite like Edward did. And vice versa.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked.

She nodded.

"Mhm, super comfy."

"I'm glad, sweetheart."

Y/n smiled, getting up and sitting on his lap. Edward folded his hands together, fingers entwined and resting on his lower stomach. When y/n was coping, Edward made sure he didn't touch her in any way that could be sexual. He would cuddle with her, kiss her on the head or cheek, and let her sit on his lap if she really wanted to. But, he would never do anything other than those things. Sure, y/n sat on his lap a lot, especially when they were making out or having sex. But, there was a very big difference in the those two situations. When y/n and Edward were intimate, y/n would be very close to him on his lap. Their bodies would practically be glued to each other. It was clear that it was a heated and sexual gesture. But, when y/n was regressed, it was gentle. She wasn't up close to him, rather sitting in the space between his legs. Or, sometimes she would straddle the area where his knees were, that way it didn't resemble anything sexual. Y/n trusted Edward enough to be in a vulnerable state around him, and her trust was well placed. In fact, when y/n found herself regressing out in public, Edward was always quick to do what was necessary for the situation. Y/n didn't mind regressing in public, it just depended on where they were. If they were in a large setting, Edward would find a way to excuse themselves or leave the place quickly. If they were in a pretty 'relaxed' place, like an arcade, a mall, or a park, Edward would just help her through the regression. Y/n's regression was not noticeable to anyone except Edward, since he knew that she actually did it. To everyone else, it just looked like y/n was really energetic and clingy. Maybe a little bit childish too. One time when Edward and y/n were at the zoo, y/n ended up regressing. And, despite all the strange looks he received, he did not care. He was just focused on having a nice date with his girlfriend and letting her heal her inner child.

~

"Eddie! Look, they have flamingos!" Y/n squealed, grabbing him by his hand and dragging him to the exhibit.

Edward, who was looking at the Zebras, let out a little yelp. The tugging on his arm startled him. When y/n got excited, she got a sort of super-human strength. Not wanting his arm to rip off, he followed her in suite, stopping in front of the exhibit with her. She was practically bouncing on her heels. This was the first time she had ever been to the zoo, and it was Edward's first time as well. Edward was having fun, but he wasn't jumping up and down in excitement. Y/n on the other hand, quite literally was jumping up and down. He knew that she was going through her coping mechanism, no doubt having a fun time at the zoo. To be honest, that's why he wanted to take her to the zoo. He wanted to give her a fun experience that she never got as a kid. Edward held onto her hand gently, smiling at how happy she was. When he glanced around, he noticed people staring at her. It made him upset for sure. He didn't want y/n to see the looks people were giving her, so he decided to keep her occupied.

"You like them?" He asked, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Yeah! But, they aren't that pink..." She frowned.

He smirked, pushing up his glasses. With his free hand, he pointed at one of the smallest flamingos. Y/n followed the direction he was pointing at. She saw the young flamingo and looked up at him, eyes wide with wonder.

"Well, flamingos aren't born with pink feathers. They actually start off a pale grey." He said.

"Woah, really!?" She gasped.

He nodded.

"They get the pink color from eating carotenoids. That's where the pink hues come from. So, it's a little difficult for them to get bright pink, even though that's how we think they look like. You see that one? It's more red in color, right? Not one flamingo has the same shade." Edward explained.

Y/n looked up at him with a confused look. She understood most of what he was saying. But, she had no idea what a carotenoid was. Edward could see that she was puzzled, so he decided to explain a little more.

"They get the pink color from shrimp and crabs, stuff like that." He said simply.

"Oh! That makes sense!"

Without saying anything, she grabbed him by his arm once again and drug him away. He had no idea where they were going now, only that she was eager. Passerby's watched the couple with judgmental eyes, scoffing and mumbling things under their breath to themselves or the people next to them. Edward glared back at each and every one of them. They had no idea what was going on in their life. People were so quick to judge others. What made it worse, however, is that the happier someone was in public, the 'weirder' they were. That was what boggled Edward's mind. Someone could be having an amazing day, dancing in the park because maybe they got a promotion at work, or maybe they just felt happy for some reason. But, just because that person was dancing in the park, people would automatically think they were 'weird' or 'strange'. There was nothing wrong with being happy and expressing it in public. It didn't matter what age you were. Why should someone be forced to hide their emotions in public? It was stupid to Edward. And, in y/n's case, it was a coping mechanism for her. But, of course, these assholes didn't know that. If they did know, they would probably be more cruel to her for some strange reason. Edward hated people so much...for such an advanced society, humans sure as hell knew nothing about sympathy and kindness. He had seen wild animals be more caring than most humans.

"Where are we going now, sweetie?" He asked, maintaining his quick pace to keep up with her.

"Gift shopppp!!!" She squealed.

Edward rolled his eyes and chuckled. Of course they were going to the gift shop. Well, he did put aside some money for some souvenirs. After all, this was her first time at the zoo. He knew that she would want a couple (hundred) stuffed animals.

"Alright, alright, but let's slow down a bit, yeah? I don't want you to trip." He said.

Y/n nodded, slowing her pace. Smiling, he walked next to her as they went down the path to the gift shop. It was a surprisingly sunny day in Gotham, and Edward could see some redness forming on her cheeks, shoulders, and the tip of her nose. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Y/n, you put on sunscreen like I told you to, right?" He asked.

She looked at him, eyes shifting around.

"Uh, yeah..." Y/n trailed.

Edward sighed as he stepped aside, pulling y/n with him. The two of them finally made it to the gift shop, standing in the shade the building provided. In classic Edward fashion, he removed the backpack he had on. Yes, he took a backpack to the zoo. What was it filled with? Oh, you know...

Sunscreen, band-aids, a metal water bottle, granola bars, sunglasses, etc...

"Y/n, you know better than to lie like that. And, you should have listened to me in the first place. Your poor skin is getting sunburnt." He scolded gently, setting the backpack on a bench next to him.

"Sorry...I forgot to put it on." She admitted.

"It's ok to forget things, sweetie. But, you know you shouldn't lie."

He sighed, pulling out the sunscreen.

"You're already sunburnt, but I'm still going to put some sunscreen on you." Edward said.

Y/n nodded, letting him apply the sunscreen onto his hands before rubbing it into her skin. He was such a worry wart. But, that's what made him a great boyfriend. Y/n never had to ask him to help her out with something, she never had to plan everything, she never had to remind Edward about what she liked and disliked. He would help her without being asked, plan dates with her, and Edward knew everything about her. He was the perfect boyfriend, and he loved her terribly.

"Oh you poor thing..." He mumbled to himself, able to see how sunburnt she really was.

She winced when he applied the sunscreen on her shoulders. Edward shook his head in disapproval. He knew that she forgot to put it on, that was ok. Honestly, he was just upset with himself for not checking before they entered the zoo. Gently, he rubbed some onto her cheeks and nose, closing the lid to the bottle afterwards. He looked down at his hands, grumbling as he rubbed the excess onto his own arms. He hated the texture of the rub-on sunscreen. But, this was the only one he had for some strange reason.

"Alright, you're ok now. But, it's going to hurt later on. Good thing we have that aloe vera plant back home, right?" He asked, kissing her on the head before grabbing her hand.

"Yeah, now let's go in the gift shop!" She exclaimed.

"More concerned about souvenirs than your own skin. That sounds like you." He smirked.

They spent about 15 minutes in that store. Y/n was so indecisive about what she wanted. She had asked Edward if they could just "get everything". He, very seriously, said "no". So in the end, after running around the store and receiving weird looks from parents with their children, she decided on getting two things. Edward was only going to let her get one thing, but he caved in. Y/n got a seagull stuffed animal, but she named it Flamingo. Edward found that to be very amusing, as she said it was because it looked more like a baby flamingo. He was proud that she was using his tidbit of information. The other thing she got, however, was a rat stuffed animal. Edward liked that very much. He loved rats, though the orphanage gave both y/n and Edward a horrible first experience with them. On a date, they had went to a pet store and asked to hold some of the rats, hoping it would help them get over their fear of them. And it worked. Now, Edward thought they were the cutest things. She named the rat stuffed animal Remy, like the one in Ratatouille. The two of them left the store, and y/n shoved Remy into Edward's chest.

"Hold him and pretend he's your child." She said.

Edward scoffed, cradling it in his arms.

"I don't have to pretend. He is my child." He retorted.

Y/n giggled, flapping the wings of Flamingo. Edward smiled, holding her hand with his free hand. He swung their arms back and forth as they walked down the dirt path.

"You want to get some ice cream?" He asked.

"YES!"

~

Edward shook himself out of his memories, glancing past y/n's head to watch the T.V. She didn't mind. Y/n knew he wasn't ignoring her, he would never ignore her. In fact, they were both sure it was impossible for him to do that.

"You wanna tell me about your day, sweet girl?" He asked.

"Um, well, I didn't really do much..." She mumbled, picking at the fuzz of the bear.

Edward raised an eyebrow, glancing at her briefly before looking back at the T.V.

"Oh come on, you must have done something while I was at work."

Y/n thought for a moment, reflecting on her day. She looked around the open apartment, glancing at the kitchen. Her gaze went back to Edward.

"Well, I did some chores!" Y/n smiled.

Edward looked at her, stroking her hair briefly. Again, he made sure not to touch her in any intimate way. A kind smile was on his face.

"That's great! I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. Did you do anything else?" He cooed.

"Uh, not really..." She blinked harshly.

Edward watched carefully as she got off of his lap, sitting on the couch. He let it play out, knowing what was going on. She was feeling better. She was feeling more secure. So, the age regression was not really necessary any longer. Sometimes y/n had control over when she did it, and sometimes she didn't. Edward had guessed that today was one of the times she couldn't control it. It wasn't like she became a totally different person in it, not at all. She just regressed to a younger age. She was still herself, though. Y/n stared at the T.V for a little while. Edward gave her time to adjust, smiling at her when she looked back at him.

"You let go of my hand, you fucker." She glared.

Edward groaned, throwing his head back on the couch. He threw up his hands in defeat. Y/n smiled as he covered his eyes with his palms.

"Oh for the love of..."

Y/n laughed, rolling her eyes as she cuddled up next to him. He smirked, hooking his arm over her shoulders. She could feel his heartbeat as her ear was against his chest. It rose and fell with every breath he took.

"I'm messing with you, babe. I know you didn't mean to." She said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He joked.

Edward held her close to him, planting a kiss on her cheek. Y/n hummed in peace as she closed her eyes. The sleepiness she felt earlier was creeping back into her body. But, a flapping noise caught her attention. She sat up instantly, grabbing the collar of Edward's shirt tightly, making his eyes widen in surprise.

"Jesus, I said I'm sorry!" He held up his hands in defense.

"What? No, not that! Shh!" Y/n whispered.

Edward went quiet, pausing the T.V. The two of them listened closely, the flapping noise was faint and muffled. Y/n's eyes lit up, poking Edward on the shoulder and motioning towards the window. His mouth formed an 'o' as he slowly got up from the couch. Y/n and him treaded silently toward the window, pulling aside the curtains and looking at the fire escape. Lo and behold, two pigeons sat on the metal landing, cuddled up next to each other. She looked at Edward, a huge grin on her face. He smiled, watching the pigeons as his dimples formed on his cheeks.

"That's so us." She whispered.

"100%." He agreed.

Y/n looked up at Edward from her crouched over position. Dramatically, she stood up and grabbed his hands. He raised an eyebrow as she took a deep breath.

"Edward...will you ruffle my feathers and feed me your hotdogs?" Y/n asked softly.

He let out a little laugh.

"I genuinely can't tell if you're trying to make a sexual innuendo, a romantic joke, or if you're being serious."

"All three." She replied quickly.

"Hmm, I'm a little busy today. I can ruffle your feathers on Sunday, but the hotdog feeding will have to wait till Tuesday." He tutted, looking down at his watch.

"What's more important than ruffling my feathers and feeding me a hotdog?" She asked, a hand on her hip.

He scoffed, motioning towards the T.V. Replicating her sassiness, he placed a hand on his hip as well. God, he looked like a total nerd. It was adorable.

"Um, obviously binge watching an entire season of Forensic Files with my girlfriend. Which is you, by the way." He added at the end, cupping his mouth with his hand.

"Oh, that does sound pretty important. Man, that's really conflicting...all of those options sound so good." She sighed, tapping her foot on the ground.

"Can't decide, huh?" He asked.

She shook her head. Shrugging his shoulders, he lunged forward and grabbed her by the hips. With a lift of his knees, he slung y/n over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Y/n squealed, playfully hitting his back with her fists. Her legs flailed slightly as well.

"Edward Nashton! You put me down this instant!" Y/n ordered.

He walked over to the couch, sitting down on the long part of it as he spread open his legs slightly. Edward laid y/n between that space so she was facing the T.V. She turned her head to face him, eyes glaring hard. He pressed play, placing the remote back down as he widened his eyes at her in a playfully challenging way.

"There. I decided for you." He said, kissing her on the lips.

"Pfft, you're lucky you're a cutie." Y/n scoffed.

He chuckled, rubbing her arms as he watched the show. Y/n sighed happily, resting her head against his chest. Edward leaned down to her ear, whispering in it.

"Do you want pizza for dinner?"

"Edward, if you get pizza, you're forgiven of all your past transgressions."

"We also have ice cream in the freezer for dessert." He added.

"I think I love you." She said.

"Wow, that's pretty cool. It's almost like we've been best friends for nearly 9 years and are dating each other." He said, dialing the pizza place on his phone.

"Yeah, some corny rom-com bullshit like that." Y/n yawned, watching the T.V.

"Like Pretty Woman?" He asked.

"Well, I'm not a sex worker. So, not really."

"13 Going On 30?"

"Edward, we're not 30. And, I did not get covered in magical glitter as a 13 year old. So, again, a no. Although, I do love that movie." She chuckled.

"Clueless?"

"Fuck I love that movie too. Still doesn't apply though. Are you just listing all the rom-coms you know?" Y/n asked, turning around to face him with an eyebrow raised.

He looked at her silently for a moment. His eyes narrowed in thought. Slowly, he brought his hand up, pointing at her.

"I've got it! 50 Shades of Grey."

"Edward, I swear I'm going to choke you."

"See! We're already relating to the movie!" He smiled.

"EDWA-"

He covered her mouth as the call started. Y/n bit his hand the entire time he placed the order, making him look at her in confusion and amusement. Once he hung up, he removed his hand from over her mouth.

"My hand is not food."

"It's not a gag either." She retorted.

"You're making us sound more and more like 50 Shades of Grey." Edward chuckled.

"Well, you're not a rich dude who made me sign a sex contract. Thank God for that."

"Whatever. I know what rom-com we are." He stated proudly.

"Oh really? What?" Y/n asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"The Office. You're Pam. I'm Jim." He said, doing finger guns at her.

"Edward...that's...literally the most perfect answer. Not really a rom-com, but it's a great answer. I also would have accepted Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich from My Little Pony."

"Shit, that's a good answer too. Weird Al and My Little Pony was one of the greatest crossovers in history. Along with Lady Gaga in the show as well." He admitted.

"This. This is exactly why I'm dating you. You get me." She said, poking the tip of his nose.

"They also had a Walter White crossover in the show. That was fucking awesome." He chuckled.

"Holy shit, I forgot about that! Bless My Little Pony. Bless Breaking Bad." Y/n fake prayed.

"Do you think Walter and Jesse explored each other's bodies?" He asked.

"Christ, Edward what the hell?"

Sighing, she stood up and started to walk away from the couch. Edward lurched forward and grabbed her hips, pulling her back onto his lap.

"Nah uh, you're not going anywhere!" He said, attacking her neck with kisses.

"Let me go you psychopath!" She squealed.

"Not until you give me your answer!" He said, kissing all over her face and neck.

"IT'S OBVIOUSLY A YES!"

He pulled away, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Obviously! There was sexual tension and it was heavy." He stated.

"Honestly, I don't blame Walter. If I was around that fucking...meth head, homeless looking...oh boy..." She shook her head.

"Oh? Do I need to be worried?" He asked cautiously.

"No, I'd just simply slap him around, waterboard him, and then give him a big ol' kiss." She shrugged.

"Hmm, ok. Well, that's totally normal. How about we never let you near any water while around me?" He suggested.

"I'm not going to waterboard you, Edward." She scoffed.

"Well, that's a relief. You're still a little weird for wanting to slap him around though." He added.

"That's funny coming from you seeing as how last night yo-"

"Ok, yeah haha very funny. Shhh." He teased, kissing her on the forehead.

"Mhm, that's what I thought."

"Yeah, you're real clever. Now, let's watch Forensic Files." He chuckled, stroking her hair.

~

[stonyponyofficial]

oh shit? whats that skanking this way? are those some more summer songs? are those some summer songs spliced seamlessly alongside some ska since Skaugust started? seems interesting, maybe u should pick em up and take a listen if u get the chance... might be the rudest sounds of the SKAmmer...

🎺spotify link ⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜ yt link🎺

notes on each ⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛ below the cut :3

Remember Summer Days - Anri: my city pop kick has not ended as you will continue to see. its the kinda shit that makes me wanna be taken on a warm evening drive. yeahh bitch i control the music and im not even driving >:3 sorry. umm also the horns make the song fit our skankin tone this time around so very well. they are like sisters <3

Car Song - Danny L Harle, MC Boing - speaking of drives! if, say, you are ever driving in a car, or perhaps playing music in a car this would be the track to signal to those around u that u are doing those things. i just love mc boing also. so much dumb hype that i cant help but follow his lead and bounce along. check out his like three other songs if u get the changce soun

Death Grips is Online - Death Grips: i was looking at my 'summer rewind' on spotify and this was apparently a death grips song i had listened to a lot a few years ago just without getting into any more death grips after that? it makes sense tho i was listening to a lot of igor of tyler the creator fame around that time. i was probably like ooooh this has that hard cunchy igor bass i like. and was like 😂 what the heck is the rest of their stuff tho seriously tihs is craazy 😂. probably is how i was like back then. tch. fool.

Flaunt It/Cheap - Rae Sremmurd: amen break waveform tattooed on my forehead running up to u voice HEY U SHOULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG THEY. HEY> THEY RAP OVER AN AMEN BREAK ITS GOOD. okay thats misleading they only do that for a bit but after that the flow is very amen break inspired..but then beat switch thats still very good i love a good beat switch and all.... i just wish he kept spitting over that pure amen break sample. paws in pockets kicking the dirt as i walk away.....

Helium - Ecco2k (Drain Gang Archives): comes back excitedly to talk about draing gang ^w^. this time around our drain gang entrance is actually a bootleg posted by a drain gang leak aggregator on spotify. in case u were wonering this is probably the best of those unreleased/leaked songs ........... ecco's voice fits this song so well with all his falsetto stuff (get it it's like helihey it's like a helium balloon get it his voice it's hifh) but he also does that on his other songs bc he's a beautiful angel. GOd and his pouty fucking sighs in the chorus god i just wann[

Merlin's Staff - Ski Mask The Slump God: as i posted about before i love me some ski mask :) i hadnt listened to a lot of his new stuff until i watched his most recent interview with nardwuar. it is from here that i found this song bc ski mask references nardy on the track. HOWEVER. i would be remiss if i did not talk about my favorite lyric from this song that ive refrained from just posting as is. makes me GIGGLE every goddamn time.

"On the go like Mario, drive in a kart

Lisa Simpson, her head sharp"

now he does bring this back around to be a joke about her "giving brain" but just that line alone with the cadence gets stuck in my head. Li. sa. Simp. son. Her. Head. Sharp.

Morning Bell - Radiohead: speaking of... head? been catching up with ol mr. head recently on account of people i know whose music opinions i trust liking his tunes a lot (hai :3) this is My preferred morning bell btw.... for u music perverts out there who wanna know (hai :3) .... the drum groove is irresistible and the piano feels so cooold. cmon its in 5/4.... like im sorry to those whom i may have disappointed i do like amnesiac morning bell it feels a lot eerier.. yet brighter with all the bells? and the 'release me's in that one are very pretty but. kid a morning bell 👍

your clothes - Jane Remover: still havent listened to new jane BUT i have gone back to revisit old stuff i hadnt listened to in a while. upon listening to this one i was reminded Wow! Jane just doesn't miss! so congrats to Jane the Remover on being the only artist to have never left some songs thus far. may ur reign be long.

Last Summer Whisper - Anri: i leave you with this. the last whisper of summer. the last whisper of my city pop kick. the last whisper of some songs until fall right guys? do u guys hear a train?

⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️

⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️

Train to Skaville (Live) - The Selecter: ALLLLLLLLL ABOOOOOOOAAAARRRD. THIS TRAIN. IS BOUND. FOR. SKAVILLE!!!!!!!!! wait oh shit i can't leave yet i have a train to catch 😳someone made a joke to me last year about this song (i believe it was in September they said 'the train to skaville has left the station') and i straight up didnt get it at the time bc i was kind of a poser skahead when i made my skaugust post eheh nervous laughs bc i pretended to know it in that post ehehe ^^ . i do believe in ska fans beliefs (that ska is good, and anticapitalism probably) i just didnt know much about it besides like stupid horse did it that one time and that post about a kid getting an extra mozz stick.. anyway fast forward one year this fucking song is the idle music in my head. i pretend to be that funky ass bass on this song a lot too hehe. there are MANT live versions of this song on yt so i chose the most fitting one for the playlist but the one ive been listening to is the spotify one -w-

Superman - Goldfinger - this is the archetypal ska song to me. and u know why. that fucking post about that kid getting an extra mozzarella stick and ska plays in his head. from uo there ^. this is the song on that post. this is like capital s Ska to me. u know how people associate dnb with really slick games u grind on rails and skate/snowboard in. make the main character 12 and sucking ass on his first shitty skateboard rolling around his neighborhood and the soundtrack is now ska. only this song actually. it is good tho is the important thing

Never Meant - Skatune Network, JER:

.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - Skatune Network, JER:

.

Come on Eileen - Save Ferris:

.

Take On Me - Reel Big Fish: what can i say im a sucker for a ska cover? SKA-ver. heh so true

Old SKrAp - Jeff Rosenstock: i believe jeff rosenstock has done other things which i will get to eventually like all things but i know him specifically for having made an album called No Dream (that i... havent listened to :/) which released in 2020 (05/20 specifically). and then.. on 04/20 of 2021 (!!!!!!!!!!! WEEED WEED ITS WEED) he released Ska Dream, which, of course, is a complete reworking of No Dream but to be Ska instead. the original title of this song is Old Crap which they still sing in the song i just love how they put SKA into the title. all of them are like this btw.

stupid horse - 100 gecs: the OG. also s/o aimkid amv. s/o all aimkid amvs but thats beside the point. there was a point in 100 gecstory that there were maybe only a few interviews they did after 1000 gecs and ofc not many live performance videos besides minecraft festival screen recordings and maybe one video of a show from the secret tour. but there was an interview from skullcandy of all places with an accompanying live performance of stupid horse that i rewatched sevreal times :) ......... i thought the neon green and yellow set pieces and outfits were cool ok??? anyway fucking stupid horse yeah a swordfish dancer spend my money on a fishnet carousel go go go go goin so fast now go go go go goin so fast now.

Frog On The Floor - 100 gecs: and then they did it again :)

I Got My Tooth Removed - 100 gecs: and did it again :)

Two-By-Four-And-A-Half - Thee Goblins: as i said before ive been narding it up recently with some nardwuar interviews. my favorite thing about him is his elusiveness as like. a guy who does things besides being nardwuar. and my favorite story about him doing other things is that on his quest to interviewing kurt cobain, he tried talking to dave grohl and somehow dave recognized nardwuar from a band he's in (this band Thee Goblins :3). but the band wears masks when they perform so u cant see its nardwuar. and he still knew it was him without the mask and i guess felt enough respect for nardwuar in that moment to decide to get him an in with kurt, which did come to fruition BTW. anyway this song is a SKA SONG by NARDWUAR himself.... this isn't on the yt playlist unfortch but there is a good video of the nardman himself and others as thee goblins.

Ska Sucks - Big D and the Kids Table: found this one while just ska-ouring ska-tify for more ska. and idk theres just something in a good subversive title (and lyrics if u venture to take a listen >w< ).anyway this ska doesn't suck its quite good actually :) this is a theme in ska if u could not tell. being quite good not sucking. sorry if that was unclear.

yyyaWWWn ummmmmmmn.. okay This is ewher i leave u.. with all the skanking ive been doing i believe ive kicked up a month long ska storm... but i hear there are some pretty rude winds forecasted to come in later today so oerhaps keep ur ears to the wind on that front 😳... um anyway peels off in my car i am sooooo licensed to operate leaving u behind with this helpful guidento steer your path. and this, thjs last SKA-mmer whisper, is how ill leave u until fall music fans :3 <3

[sidxlune]

2 0 2 4 .⠀1 5 t h⠀M a y .

Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton

(lyrics by Dean Dillon and Linda Hargrove)

“You've got to be fucking kidding me.”

She had just swung the door open and started walking towards the bar when Baz stopped wiping the countertop, looking surprised and baffled.

“That's not the welcome I expected to hear, Baz!” she let out a hearty laugh and settled on one of the bar stools. “I've missed you, old fart. I've missed your drinks!”

“This is so unlike you, why are you back so soon?” Baz squinted and asked her suspiciously.

“Before anything else, can I have a martini and a good 'ol song to set the mood?” she said, winking.

“You,” Baz took the little cloth back to the sink and shook his head, a smile creeping up, “You're the only person who walks in here this late, once in maybe 3 or 4 years and every single time, it's raining. That's already a mood.” He switched the speakers on and began preparing her request, “Olives?” he queried.

“Oh yes, please. Thank you.”

♪ Used to spend my nights out in a barroom

liquor was the only love I'd known

but you rescued me from reachin' for the bottom

and brought me back from being too far gone ♪

“Sooooo.. who is she?”

She took a sip, “Baz.. my mentor, my old pal, the best bartender in this shitty town,” she took the tissue and wiped her lips, “It's a he.”

“Goodness fucking gracious, kiddo.”

She laughed again but this time a little louder, “That's the second one tonight!”

“Are we speaking about the same guy?”

“Yes, yes, we are. You saw him the last time I was here.” She continued, “Mi primer amor. I told you about him a couple of times.”

“I know him,” he commented. “I've always wondered how you were so sure about it, that it was love. You two were so young back then. You did tell me you've gotten over him.”

“I thought I did..” she took another sip, “But...”

♪ You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey

you're as sweet as strawberry wine

you're as warm as a glass of brandy

and honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time ♪

“But? Go on.”

“Now that we're back in each other's lives, it feels so different. Nothing like anything I've ever felt before. He's got this effect on me that makes me feel good. I'm not saying it's all rainbows and butterflies.. trust me it hadn't been. He drove me nuts, did some shit I would most likely never forgive if I was less experienced or if I still have the same mindset as when I was younger, but he..” she paused, as if thinking of a more suitable word to describe how she feels. “I want to be a better person. I want to work on myself. He triggered that in me.”

She popped an olive into her mouth, “And I love him, Baz. No conditions whatsoever,” she added.

“Goddamn.” Baz was speechless. “Goddamn,” he repeated. “Isn't he...?” he asked, looking very stern.

“Yes, he is.. unfortunately.” She downed the martini and asked for another.

“Kid, I worry about you. Are you sure you're okay? how are you taking this? You're free! you can have anyone you want.” He took her empty glass and served her another.

“Tell me something new, Baz. I've heard everything already. My friends, my sisters.. they all said the same thing: Leave him. Find someone else.”

“You know I won't say that. I'm just asking why you're staying.”

She sighed, closed her eyes and pinched her nose bridge, “If I leave, it'll break both our hearts. I can't stand the thought of hurting him again because I feel it too. It cripples me. I tried doing it many times already, and each time I did, it felt like I was losing a body part. The first time I did it, it felt like I lost a leg. Every passing day, I woke up feeling like I made a wrong decision and it was haunting me, I couldn't shake it off. I've never felt that way with anyone before.”

♪ I've looked for love in all the same old places

found the bottom of a bottle's always dry

but when you poured out your heart, I didn't waste it

'cause there's nothing like your love to get me high ♪

She opened her eyes and downed the dry martini again, “I can handle being alone, Baz, you of all people know that.. but I'm choosing to stay because I love him. If he ever asks for my heart, I'd say he already has it. Always have been. He just didn't know I handed it to him years ago. I left it here in this town because he was here. I couldn't love anyone more than him or give my heart to someone else. If I did, I'd be lying to myself. He's it for me, Baz.”

“I get you. Love is like that.. when it hits you, it hits you, right? whatever the case may be. It makes you do things you've never imagined yourself doing. Morals, rules, fixed formulas about what's right and wrong or good and evil.. they all fly out,” Baz explained, “but I still can't believe he broke your heart at 13!” he chided.

“Yeah..” she took another long, deep sigh. “I realized he didn't break my heart when we were teens, I actually did that to myself. He didn't know about my feelings then so I shouldn't be blaming him if he did something that hurt me. He was unaware.”

“Does this mean you'll meet him again now that you're here?”

“I don't think so..” she grumbled. “Still not the right time. We're not ready.”

“How are you to know he's not ready?” Baz asked, one eyebrow raised.

She turned to look outside the window and noticed the rain began to cease, “...because I'm not.”

[misscoolisback123]

A fun Headcanon of Erehisu and Rivamika:

"Hadestown" Rehearsal:

Levi: Damn it!

Mikasa: What's wrong?

Levi: The lyrics for one of the songs says that I'm playing a mean old boss!

Historia: With a silver whistle and a golden scale.

Eren and everyone else, including Mikasa: An eye for an eye!

Levi: Yeah, yeah, I get it!

Hanji: Cheer up, Levi! At least you're playing one of the main characters!

Mikasa: Yeah, honey. Plus, you won't be kissing anyone. In fact, you won't be kissing anyone at all, really.

Pieck: Well, that sucks

Historia: Yeah! They're so cute together!

Levi and Mikasa both blush.

Me: Alright, everyone! Listen up!

Everyone gathers around me for instructions

Me: Okay, so I got the cast list for your understudies posted, everyone go check them out!

Everyone looks at the bulletin board to see who their understudy is

The Fates: Mina Carolina, Ino Yamanka, and Temari

Persephone: Frieda Reiss and Nanao

Hades: Madara Uchiha and Erwin Smith

Hermes: Deidara

Orpheus: Ichigo Kurosaki and Ulquiorra Cifer

Eurydice: Rukia Kuchiki and Orihime Inoue

The band: Naruto Uzumaki, Kiba, Shikamaru and others

Passengers and shades: Kenpachi, Yachiru, and others

Eren: Ha! As if this Kurosaki guy can do better than me!

Ichigo: The fuck did you say!?

Rukia: (sighing) Ichigo calm down.

Historia: You too, Eren! Plus, you have a second understudy, just like how Mikasa, Levi, and I each have two as well.

Frieda: That's right dear sister!

Orihime: I can't believe I get to be a part of one of Broadway's biggest hits!

Historia: Hello Ichigo, Rukia, and Orihime! I'm so glad you get to be in the show!

Eren: Where's Ulquiorra?

Ulquiorra comes in walking with baby Nel Tu

Ulquiorra: Sorry I'm late. I had to pick up Nel from preschool.

Byakuya Kuchiki: Same here.

Me: Hi honey!

Byakuya Kuchiki: Hello there my love!

Everyone is chatting with each other

Byakuya and I kiss

Frieda: (whispering) Hey Mikasa and Nanao! I hear that Byakuya might propose later to the director.

Nanao: Actually, it already happened

Mikasa: She said yes to him!

Frieda: When did this happen?

Yachiru: This is gonna fun, Ymir Fritz! But I'm kinda bummed that Kenny didn't get the part of Hades.

Levi: Hey kid, did you just say Kenny?

Kenpachi: Sure, she did why?

Levi: Oh, nothing! I thought that she was talking about my uncle

I hand out the scripts to each understudy

Historia glances at Eren several times

Rukia: Hey, Historia. You keep at that Eren guy

Orihime: Yeah! Do you like him or something?

Historia: What me? Him?

Historia is trying not to admit her feelings for Eren

Ichigo: That Historia girl keeps looking at you

Eren: Really? Her?

Eren is flustered as well

Ulquiorra: Just admit that you have feelings for her

Eren: What should I say to her?

Deidara: Tell her that your love for her is like a truck. Berserker!

Levi shakes his head

Levi: Don't say that, Eren

Ulquiorra: Just be yourself

Eren starts walking towards Historia

Historia: What should I say to him?!

Rukia: Just take a deep breath and relax

Orihime: Tell him you dream of him every night!

Rukia and Mikasa shake their heads

Frieda: No! That sounds creepy!

Mikasa: Just be yourself. I did that with Levi

Historia nods

Eren and Historia both bump into each other

Eren: Hey, Historia

Historia: Hey Eren

Eren and Historia: I've liked you for a really long time and I was

Historia: You have?

Eren: Yeah! Since senior year of high school

Historia: How come I never noticed you before?

Eren: Because you were dating Reiner

Historia: Oh, that's right! To be honest, I never felt anything for him. Everyone kept saying that we were high school sweethearts and that we would get married, but I didn't feel that at all

Eren: I could tell that you were faking it the whole time. Hell, you even went by a different name! It was Krista

Historia: Guilty as charged! Being Krista was exhausting.

Eren: I was so glad when you dropped that persona.

Historia: When I met you in college, I knew that you were a guy that I could trust. I remember when I first told you my real name and a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Eren: I remember that, too.

Orihime: (whispering) This is so cute!

Me: I know, right? This reminds me of how Ichigo and Rukia got together!

Rukia and Mikasa: Ah shit!

Orihime: Where did you come from?!

Me: I've been here the whole damn time!

Eren: So do you...

Historia: Yes!

Eren: Really? That's great! I'll meet you after rehearsals

Historia gives Eren a kiss on the cheek, and he stands there blushing

Nel Tu: Papa. I'm sleepy.

Ulquiorra: I know, sweetie, but there's nowhere for you to rest

Orihime: He's such a wonderful father.

Historia: I saw you looking at him a few times yourself

Orihime: No I wasn't!

Me: Alright, everyone tomorrow, everyone needs to be at the top of their games!

Everyone responded to me, and they all begin to leave

Orihime looks at Levi and Mikasa, Ichigo and Rukia, and now Eren and Historia holding hands looking at each other with love

Orihime doesn't want to admit it, but she does have feelings for Ulquiorra. She loves seeing him being gentle with his daughter Nel

Orihime: Maybe I should tell him how I feel about him!

I added some Ichiruki and Ulquihime in there as well! I hope you enjoyed it, and I might have a continuation of this Headcanon. I might actually have Kenpachi as Hades if I continue this Headcanon!