#but like a lot of geoff's writing it has the bones of something that could be soooo deeply compelling

[mamawasatesttube]

adventures of superman #642

while i have a lot of criticisms about the way lex mind-controlling kon into attacking his friends was written, i do think the fact that it established as canon that kon is such a powerhouse that he took down pretty much his entire team when forced to fight them is a very fun thing to play into. none of them could stop him.

what a fun parallel to superman's fears of losing control and hurting those he cares about (...i am once again thinking about how clark has been forced to lose control of his powers in a way that killed a version of kon, in two separate alternate reality scenarios now. there's some dots to connect here.)

[enterprisetrampstamp]

Request: TOS Spock and Bones being an adorable married couple while aboard the Enterprise!

"All I'm saying is, you could've warned me," Bones was complaining, before the fabric of his uniform pants had even touched the plastic of the bench across the table from his Captain.

Jim, his focus directed at the PADD containing the paperwork that Yeoman Rand would be coming to fetch in less than five minutes, hummed a neutral acknowledgement and trusted his Chief Medical Officer to continue his diatribe with only that minimum of prompting.

"A chance to prepare--" Bones's fork flicked through the air-- "A chance to brace myself. Pretty sure that after everything you've put me through over the years, Jimmy, I deserved one."

"Almost certainly," Jim agreed, dashing off another signature with the rubber tip of his stylus.

"Good of you to admit it. Spock didn't!"

"What didn't I do, Doctor?" Spock asked, and-- unlike when Bones had sat down-- Jim looked up to shoot his Number One a crooked grin of welcome. (It wasn't about Spock, specifically-- it was about that, that warm feeling of vicarious happiness he got at seeing his two best friends oh-so-casually brush their fingers against each other in a gentle "Good morning" kiss.)

Bones rolled his eyes; Spock raised an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't admit I deserved a bit of warning before you dumped an entire crop of fresh-faced, bushy-tailed morons in my lap." Bones stabbed at his eggs vindictively, his expression sour. "Do you know how much work--"

Oh, that's what this was about? The new nurses and interns who'd joined the crew at their last pit stop?

"They're not morons," Jim told him, amused, as hebturned back to scrolling through his PADD. "And you did have warning, Bones; you had to sign off on all of them."

"I was told that I was offering my opinion on their placement on other ships!" Bones threw his hands wide, his left hand smacking into Spock's chest unapologetically. "Not mine!"

Spock gently removed Bones's hand from his personal space, and Jim sighed. "At the time, you were," he said dryly. "But several of your nurses have resigned their commissions recently, and this mission has been turning out a lot differently than we anticipated at the start; you could always use some additional hands in surgery--"

"Like I would trust these fools with a scalpel--!"

"They aren't even fresh out of the Academy, Bones," Jim reminded him. "Every one of them has at least a year of prior experience in a hospital and performed admirably--" he looked up, eyebrows raised. "At least, according to your own assessment."

"Have they yet shown themselves to be unsatisfactory?" Spock asked, calmly cutting to the center of Bones's ranting, and Bones scowled as he buttered his toast.

"They're fine," he said, shortly. "But not a one of them is prepared for the differences between traditional hospital practices and those of a starship, Jim. On another ship--" he waved a hand. "They'd have time to ease into things. But here? On the Enterprise? They need their hands held, Jim, and Chris, Geoff, and I only have so many hands to go around."

Spock looked to be considering this point deeply, so Jim left him to it for the moment, glancing guiltily at the chronometer on the far wall of the mess and resuming the race to finish his paperwork. It's not that Bones was wrong, in Jim's opinion; it was just that they didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. The CMO and the indomitable Nurse Chapel would simply have to ride herd on the new kids until they either shaped up or washed out-- no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

"You believe they are likely to freeze the first time they're placed under pressure," Spock surmised.

Bones-- when Jim glanced up into the silence of hesitation-- pulled a face and shook his head. "All hospitals are, by definition, life or death situations; they've already proven they can handle 'pressure'," he said. "But basic xenobiology credits don't do justice to the realities of practicing your craft on biological systems you barely understand-- present company included-- with diseases no one's ever seen before and half the equipment you would have wanted. It's their imaginations I'm worried about, Mr. Spock."

"Then perhaps it is their imagination you should focus on training, Doctor."

"There are a couple security officers trying to put an improv comedy club together," Jim suggested, hiding his grin by ducking his head further towards the PADD as he dashed off another signature, and a bit of toasted crust bounced off of his temple after Bones threw it at him. "That was assault of a commanding officer, I'll have you know."

"Shove it, Jim. The grown ups are actually brainstorming solutions over here."

"Of course," Jim agreed, smoothly, and pretended that "brainstorming" was the only reason Bones had laid his hand over Spock's when Spock placed it palm up on the table.

"Sims, maybe?" Bones murmured. "I could write something up, if you'd be willing to code it. No right answers, only better ones; see what they come up with."

"It would be my pleasure, Doctor."

A beat, a shit-eating grin in his periphery, and Spock repeated, sharply-- "Doctor."

"My virgin ears and I are glad Bones kept that one telepathic," Jim said, hiding his own shit eating grin behind his cup of coffee as he took a sip, and Bones laughed.

"Not in front of the Captain, Mr. Spock, or whatever will appear on your next performance review?"

Spock sighed. "You have a singularly frustrating personality, Doctor."

"You're one to talk. You know, Jim, he uses cinnamon toothpaste?"

"Perish the thought." Jim signed another dotted line, his feeling of foreboding growing as he scrolled further and further down towards the next. Janice was going to be here in--

"Your yeoman has just walked into the mess, Captain," Spock told him.

"And she's a woman on a mission," Bones added, eith a thread of laughter lacing through his tone. "A tactical retreat may be in order, Jim boy."

Captain James Tiberius Kirk did not turn to look over his shoulder, because that would be a sign of weakness. "Buy me five minutes," he said, his tone just shy of an order. "I'll speed read."

"How are we supposed to do that?" Bones demanded, but Spock-- bless those pointed ears of his-- was already rising to his feet.

"Accompany me, Doctor," he requested.

And, with a sigh, Bones took a few quick bites of his toast and then rose to his feet, wiping his fingers on a napkin as he trailed behind Spock. Jim paused his reading only long enough to watch them intercept Janice--

What they said couldn't be heard from across the room, but Bones's right hand found the small of Spock's back, his wedding ring glinting under the light as he waved the other about enthusiastically, and his exuberance combined with Spock's quiet intensity commanded Janice's attention quite completely. By the time she'd wormed her way free, Jim was outting the last flourishing signature on the paperwork, and he handed the PADD over to her with his most charming smile.

"Thank you, Yeoman."

"No, Captain," she said, with a smile that was far too shark-like for the sweetness of her tone. "Thank you." And then-- laughing-- she was gone.

Bones looked smug, and Spock's eyes glittered with Vulcan amusement, and suddenly, Jim was feeling much less charitable towards the man's ears.

"Gentlemen," he said suspiciously. "May I ask what price I've just paid for those five minutes?"

"You know, Yeoman Rand has a lot of friends on the ship, in all kinds of departments," Bones said, as he tucked into his remaining eggs. "Including Security."

"She's a popular woman," Jim agreed, slowly.

"Ensigns Martinez and Harper will be most grateful to hear of your interest in joining their improvisational comedy group, Captain."

Jim stared at Spock. "No."

Bones smiled. "Oh, yes."

"No!"

"His idea," Bones said, jerking his thumb at Spock.

"I was under the impression you had been looking for a method of engendering further goodwill between yourself and the crew," he said, with a perfect Vulcan poker face.

"Wouldn't do to back out on a promise now, Captain," Bones told him cheerfully. "Say, they still encourage audience participation st these things, don't they?"

"A staple of the genre, Doctor."

"My," Bones said, smiling into the horror dawning across Jim's face. "I guess I'll just have to make sure I never miss a show."

Spock hummed as he returned to his own breakfast. "I believe I shall have to miss every show, for fear that you would volunteer me for a sketch."

"Well." Bones wiped his mouth on a napkin, blue eyes twinkling. "Even so, Mr. Spock. I'll see you at lunch."

Spock bid him a pleasant morning shift, and-- with a brush of their fingertips-- Bones was gone.

"You didn't really promise Janice that I'd be doing improv comedy, did you?" Jim asked, weakly. "I'll forgive you for the implication if you simply admit--"

"No, Captain, I did not." But the way he said it...

Jim closed his eyes. "Spock. Did Dr. McCoy promise it?"

"Yes, Captain, he did."

"I know you love him, Spock, but I'd like your permission to ship him back to Earth--"

"Negative."

"He'll be happy there," Jim promised. "I'll set him up on a nice farmstead in Georgia--"

"I don't believe that the life of a farmer would especially agree with me."

"I'm not planning on sending you."

Spock raised an eyebrow, and Jim sighed, relenting. "I suppose you would follow him, wouldn't you?"

"Of course, Captain."

"Of course," Jim agreed, with a ghost of a smile breaking through his glum mood. It was nice, seeing his two best friends in love--

Even when they ganged up on him.

[rpgmgames]

February’s Featured Game: Ressurflection

DEVELOPER(S): charlottezxz ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: Fantasy, Cartoon, RPG WARNINGS: Paranoia, fear and tension, mild swearing and blood. SUMMARY: Ressurflection is a Fantasy/cartoon RPG set in the fictional universe of the Arbvar and taking center stage primarily at the coastal city of ‘Horizon Bluff’. Its story and game play are heavily character driven, with its narrative divided into two parallels told both within and outside the mirror itself. Ressurflection’s core themes draw from our inevitability of fearing death, and that at some point or another, we all must accept it, and to treasure what’s really important in the time that we have.

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *charlottezxz: Hiya this is Charlotte, lead game developer for Ressurflection! I’m some silly, overactive drawing monkey who works a lot with Narrow on Ressurflection! I’m always sketching and conceptualizing monster bois, taking a lot of inspiration from various games, primarily monster hunter! I’ve had avid interest in the Indie scene for a while now and a lot of the great friends I've made have been due to it and a lot of my recent favorite games have come from it! I would have had Narrow say a few things here but he’s hiding in a corner somewhere!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *charlottezxz: Ressurflection started out as what can be described as two separate stories. Myself and Narrow wrote our own stories and every so often we swapped over ideas or combined them together with each other. One day I said to ourselves ‘You know what? This could work quite well as a game rather than just a story’ so eventually Ressurflection was conceived, around the idea of a mythical mirror capable ‘Ressurflection’ the title of the game. We’ve gone through quite a few iterations of the story before it came to its current form and to be honest if we even showed or compared them side by side they’d be pretty unrecognizable as the same thing except for certain characters, locations and the mirror itself to identify its primordial form having any kind of ancestral relevance to how it is today. As for what Ressurflection is about, I think our synopsis can get that across quite nicely! ‘Horizon Bluff has always annually held its ‘Legend of the Wyvern Glass’ festivities. The Wyvern glass was a long lost mythical mirror, once fabled for its power of ‘Ressurflection’ and coveted by a kingdom now all but gone. That is quick to change however with the arrival of the Roulette Runner’s circus to the coastal city of Horizon Bluff. Trouble is soon to set in motion not just the kingdom’s sudden reappearance but the entrapment of one of their own acrobats within the mirror silver. Yet things are soon to worsen...with the spread of a purple ‘corruption’ across the city and the fact that our most unfortunate trouper is far from alone within the mirror, finding himself at the mercy of its ‘Mirror Maiden’. > The apparent all powerful manipulator of its realm…’

How long have you been working on your project? *charlottezxz: Conceptually we have been working on it for 4 years which is hard to even fathom, however that’s more tinkering around the idea for the story and conceiving it as we learnt the engine. The blog itself is hitting its 4th birthday in February! Ressuflection’s development went on as i attended university, so its always been a side lined hobby of ours.Steam says 108 days worth of hours in the engine and most of the game progress other than concepts has been done in 2019. So I could say 4 years for the ideas/stories and concepts and a year of that for actual game making!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *charlottezxz: We each have our own inspirations, Lost Odyssey, Final Fantasy 9, Xenoblade Chronicles, Monster hunter and many older PSX titles such as Medievil, Tomba and Heart of darkness are great influences and inspirations to me personally. The dark, dangerous environments of Heart of darkness contrasted by some innocent characters, the monster designs in capcom’s franchise and the storytelling and themes with a cinematic approach to cut scenes found in some of FF9, Xenoblade and Lost odyssey, a lost game stuck in the recess of the xbox 360. There are many more but these spring to mind first and foremost. Narrow himself draws inspiration from games such as Earthbound, the Persona series and FF10!

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *charlottezxz: We started the project in VX ace to begin with, until MV released. It was in Ace that I experimented learning RPG maker and in the early days of MV too. Although before Ressurflection’s time i also dabbled a bit in XP. MV seemed more in line for what we wanted, as i really wanted to try animating beyond SV sheets and do more, with Java being a bit more flexible and the scope of it being able to allow dragon bones later. However it hasn’t been without its hiccups! Part of that is the sheer amount of time you underestimate games and certain elements to take in their development. That and everything that comes with it, streamlining, trimming the fat...in the past week alone i spent days optimizing pictures, sounds and music in the game to cut down the staggering file sizes they were. So far they have retained their form without being as costly on the MB! Since I do the vast majority of the game development myself, everything takes a lot longer to develop. You underestimate all the little things to consider and that you may need later. By the end of development, I hope to have the vast majority of the game consist of custom assets and be able to truly call it something that is ours. Though that path is long ahead we won’t stray too far from it.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *charlottezxz: The game itself has always been a story-driven RPG at its heart, although certain game mechanics have been scaled down or developed further from puzzles to battle flow. As mentioned previously, the story has changed considerably which changed the direction of the overall narrative and gameplay as a whole. Certain characters and scenarios have been culled completely too. At its start the story wasn’t as heartfelt nor was the scope of the story all that big - Oh and the game had a time limit, a bit like Majora’s Mask! But it is a lot more meaningful now and we hope that you will enjoy it when the time comes.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *charlottezxz: It has been just myself and Narrow for the majority of the development but we reached a point where we wanted to reach out to find a musician for our game. We eventually came across Geoff who has done the majority of our music up until recently. However we have had friends help and contribute along the way such as Harry helping sprite some NPCs for me, Bart helping formulate and do some math balancing, Vaijack has also contributed to music making him our second musical boi and more on the way, our preliminary demo testers( it would take a little to list them all) and more peeps i’ll be sure to credit!

What is the best part of developing a game? *charlottezxz: For me it has to be conceptualising all the little ideas we have and bringing them all into being. This is especially so for any monster and character bois! I spend a lot of time visualizing and planning the design of areas, locales and creatures. Would this thing live here? Why would it be this way? If this is a historical town wouldn’t it have x and x? Then when we ultimately put it together, and all the pieces of the puzzle line into place and then you can just...experience, the final thing, that for me is the best part in developing our game for me.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *charlottezxz: I learn best by doing, so more often than not I just dive into things, including the engine blind and tussle around with it. It’s a silly way of doing it, but I've often found myself learning more that way than following tutorials. Although in any game I've played, RPG maker or not, i do like to ponder and deconstruct scenes within them. The Witch's house, Pocket Mirror, Dreaming Mary, Mad fathers and Ib are all wonderful games that are great to learn from, dissect and understand what makes and made them tick. This applies across any game I've played or intend to play! I look at game making as one giant puzzle with lots of intricate little details that need to be solved, it’s more fun and engaging that way!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *charlottezxz: There’s some characters I like a great deal, but i can’t talk about as it would be spoilers to the plot, that and it’s hard to pick any overall favorites. Charm comes across as a fun character to write for as she’s quite witty and sarcastic, the kind of dialogue that comes a bit too naturally to me. She’s a budding magical prodigy of the circus under the tutelage of Jerine. She bigs herself up a lot but isn’t quite ready to deal with the problems of the adult world just yet, as much as she strives to get into it. Then there’s the likes of Ashley as well, she’s the loudest circus member and a close friend to Zakai, its ringmaster. She’s a super hard working down to earth country girl who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty and jump into the thick of things. Honestly I love all the cast, but there’s those two for now!

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *charlottezxz: I would say ideally we should have had all our ducks in a row before we dove into development. My development style is very messy, especially since when we started development we had a lot of learning ahead of us. That combined with focusing on a lot of coursework and real life things meant I often forgot how we made things for consistency. This has improved considerably since i started getting more organised now, keeping lists and things tabbed for reference. My desk has bits of paper kept with it with information I need to retain. I forget far too many things for my own good, but now I'm taking better count measures! I would advise anyone to keep tabs of important information about your game such as consistent sprite style sizes, resolution size, x and y positions of certain things and important variables and switches.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *charlottezxz: There’s a few ideas bounced about to do side stories for some of the cast of characters in the circus, such as before they became one and the origins of how certain members joined the circus essentially the ‘First Stringers’ and ‘Second stringers’, these being those that joined afterwards. These would be great to do as small little episodes added onto the game post development, but currently they are just ideas and won’t be given too much thought until the game is either done or close to fruition.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *charlottezxz: My most hopeful thought is for people to enjoy the game and have as much fun and interest in it as myself and Narrow have had in creating it. It’s the kind of game we want to make and hope that the characters and story chime with people enough for people to see the journey through to its end! It’s a big scope of a project but i have endless enthusiasm for it, no matter how long it takes it will get out there at some point!

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *charlottezxz: That the games story and overall feel doesn’t quite hit the right notes, it's always a little back concern. From a technical perspective I would say that the game might have some oversighted bugs or critical crashes that slip under the radar or not run as smoothly on other PCs on release. We will do our best to optimise the game as much as possible for MV and squash those pesky bugs during testing, but it is on our minds often as a niggling fear.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *charlottezxz: Gut everything from the base project that you know you most definitely will not be needing and give all your files smart tags and naming conventions. It would be great if MV allowed for sub folders, but it does not so naming your files smartly is key to finding what you need. Any of these files you know you will use often in certain ways, make them common events and call for those in events and cut scenes. This saves you mass editing them later. With naming conventions this could be Actor_1_Hurt or Chapter_1_NPC. Anything you want at the top of the list name it with _ to begin with. The bigger our project gets, the more important this has become for us and we hope it serves other inspiring devs well all the same.

Question from last month's featured dev @rojisroomrpg: How do you keep yourself happy and healthy when making your game? *charlottezxz: I’m normally a happy-go-lucky person, so I'm rarely not happy when working on Ressurflection. It's the happy little hobby I devote most of my spare time to. However, recently i would say my hands, wrists and neck have been hurting from spending a little too much time drawing assets and pieces for the game. Taking more breaks and spreading that time with other activities in between has helped to ease that pain and i would like to advise any dev to do so for their own health, including always having one or two bottles of juice, water or whatever beverage always at hand to sip at as you dev away!

We mods would like to thank charlottezxz for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Ressurflection if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[rainbowshawn]

Little Things

A/N: hey!! this is my first time writing so feedback is welcome and encouraged! something quick and easy, hope y’all enjoy 💓

Summary: After a hard day, Shawn knows just what to do to cheer you up. It’s the little things.

Warnings: None. Just fluff and unrevised writing :)

________________________________________

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that you were stressed. Work had been a nightmare, to say the least and you were way past ready to get home. A hefty sigh evaded your chest as you twisted the key to open the front door to your shared apartment. Thoughts of the past week went through your mind as you kicked your shoes off your sore feet.

“Is that my girl I hear?” chimed your boyfriend’s voice from somewhere in the apartment that you couldn’t quite place.

You could only grunt in response, your tiredness taking over quickly once you stepped into your cozy home. You slowly meandered towards your living room, smiling softly at the sight before you. Shawn was propped up on the big white couch with his back facing you; legs spread out under his favorite fluffy blanket. He was fully concentrated on whatever occupied the screen of his laptop and you took this opportunity to sneak up behind him, rubbing your hands across his sturdy chest as you leaned down to press your face to his warm neck. He lets out a soft hum of contentment when he feels your soft breath dance across his skin.

“Hi, my love” he murmured, craning his head back to give you better access to dress his neck in kisses.

You hummed in response, trying to occupy your mind with your work on his soft skin.

“How was your day, honey?”

The mention of your day caused you to immediately tense and you straightened back up.

“It was fine.” you sighed, walking into the kitchen hoping he wouldn’t push the topic any further.

You hoped your tone hadn’t given away that your day was anything less than spectacular. You didn’t want to stress him out with any more than he already had to deal with himself. Between prep for tour, writing, and recording, you were sure he had much bigger things to worry about than your rough week. You knew that didn’t stop him from caring, though. He was always thoughtful, despite anything he was preoccupied with. It amazed you, really. How someone could be so patient with those he loved, with all the things on his plate. The man was the definition of empathetic.

“Mmmm somehow I don’t believe you.” he softly pressed. He shifted to set his laptop on the table in front of him, turning to face you.

“It was okay, just busy. I’m alright.”

He sent you a small frown, accompanied by those soft, honey eyes you love so much. He titled his head thoughtfully, squinting his eyes at you. You avoided his gaze trying to occupy yourself by looking for a snack in the fridge. Your search proved to be pointless as neither of you had the time to run to the grocery store this week. You softly closed the door and rubbed your sore neck, as if to soothe your worries.

“c’mere” Shawn said softly, but sternly. You figured he wasn’t going to take your half-hearted answer. You softly prod over to where he set up camp in the dim room. You observe his mess of papers adorning the coffee table which reminds you of all he has on his mind as well. His hands find your hips as you stand between his legs. He rests his chin on your stomach, looking up at you with those soft eyes as your hands take purchase in his curly hair. He smiles at you as he tugs your body down into his lap.

He pressed gentle kisses to your lips, whispering, “missed you,” between soft pecks. He rested his forehead on yours as he trailed his hands soothingly up and down your tense back, while yours were still busy in his hair. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding once you felt his loving embrace.

“Wanna talk about it?” he continued. You grumbled knowing he wasn’t going to let go of his concern until you at least addressed it a little bit.

“Not particularly. Just had a lot to do and not a lot of time. And just little things throughout the day,” you explained, quietly “just feeling a bit overwhelmed. But it’s over now.”

He frowned, “Okay, darling, I won’t press. You know you can talk to me whenever you need to right?” he paused and waited to see you nod your head in response.

“Anything I can do to help? I don’t like seeing you stressed. Let me fix it.” he said while he peppered more little kisses to your cheeks, hoping you could feel all his love. You could. You always could.

You smiled lovingly at the gesture, but shook your head.

“No. Just being here is enough. Your presence alone makes me feel a million times better.” you said. And it was true. Somehow Shawn made everything feel okay, regardless of if it was or not. You always brought each other peace. Finding little ways to keep the other at ease.

Pulling back a little, you cupped his cheek and he nuzzled his face further into your hand, keeping his puppy eyes on you. You took in his appearance now, noticing how sleepy he looked. Your heart softened immediately; your mind instantly forgetting everything that had happened that day. Your focus shifted to the soft boy in your hands.

“‘nuff about me. How was your day, mister?” you smiled, tilting your head.

“It was good. I got a lot of stuff done, actually. Worked on some paperwork Andrew needed from me, finalized some stuff for the studio with Geoff,” he trailed “I’m so excited to show you.”

“I’m excited to hear.” you chirped, perking up.

It always amazes you; how much he can handle. It seems to come so easy to him, but you know otherwise. You couldn’t begin to count how many times you’ve seen the stress of his lifestyle eat at him. He doesn’t like to seem weak so he frequently works himself to the bone. This combination inherently and eventually results in some breakdowns. Him softly crying in your arms while you do your best to soothe him and talk him through the darkness.

You suppose that you two balance each other out in that way. Always there to comfort the other. No matter what. You loved him most like that. Vulnerable and open to your love. He became so soft and needy, soaking up every bit of affection he could. He never minded returning the favor.

“How bout I make you some hot chocolate and we forget about that bad day, hm?” he inquired while he brushed some stray hairs from your face. “We can watch some of that new show you were talking about. I know you’ve been itching to start it.”

“Sounds perfect” you whispered, smiling. The mention of hot chocolate instantly lifting your spirits.

He helped you get up from his lap once he got up to go into the kitchen. He quickly made you a cup exactly how you liked it. Extra marshmallows topped off with some whipped cream. He paid extra attention to put it in your favorite mug. The dusty pink cup was placed gently into your hands moments later and you smiled at the ‘you’re my person’ printed in gold across the ceramic. Shawn had given it to you as a surprise gift one day, after he was out with some of his friends, knowing your mutual obsession with Grey’s Anatomy. No special reason other than it made him think of you. He shrugged off his friends giggles and comments about him going ‘soft’ knowing he’d get to see your smile that he loved so much once he brought it home to you.

“You did that on purpose, huh?” you jokingly accused, gesturing your head to the cup in your hands.

“Maybe I did,” he sweetly smirked “what of it?”

“You’re sweet, bubba.”

You took a small sip, wincing as the hot liquid touched your tongue. You moved forward and set the steaming mug down on the table, taking care to set it on a coaster away from his papers. You felt him shift next to you as he stripped himself of his hoodie. The second you relaxed back into the couch he shoved his hoodie into your hands.

You shot him a questioning look, but took in his shirtless form regardless. He just giggled in response and chuckled, “Go ahead. Get cozy, honey.” nuzzling himself back into the couch behind you. You decide to not question it, and tug the warm hoodie onto your body, immediately feeling calmer once the warmth and his scent filled your senses. He wiggled his raised hands once you finally looked back at him, gesturing you towards his chest. You made yourself comfortable on his bare chest and pulled his blanket over the two of you. His hand made its way to your back as you nuzzled into his neck, rubbing softly. He grabbed the remote with his other hand and clicked around on Netflix, you two falling easily into a conversation while you searched for that show he mentioned. Once you found it and decided that that was what you wanted, he pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead before turning his attention back to the intro that was now rolling on the screen.

You didn’t always have it together, but these slow, easy moments with shawn made it all better. Really, it’s the little things. Somehow his small gestures made you forget your issues in the blink of an eye. You loved your love. It was easy and tender. It was patient and kind, and never did it ever feel like you were alone. Shawn would spend his whole life making sure of that.

[davidmann95]

Comics this week (10/28/2020)?

Dark Nights: Death Metal: Rise of the New God: Not at all what was advertised, but that’s a good thing - that throwdown belongs in the main book. This instead sets up an interesting little oddball concept that acts here as a simple pseudo-DC-history-recap device and commentary on the larger storytelling going on in this event, but could go on to play a larger role. Not a ton of meat on the bone here, but I liked it.

Legion of Superheroes #10: There’s a big reveal panel here that channels the kind of Superman-related joy I’ve scarcely felt since All-Star, and in general this issue sets up a ton of interesting new avenues.

Action Comics #1026: Nothing to write home about, but there’s a neat format trick here - I thought it quite literally didn’t work due to some kind of miscommunication along the road to production, but flipping back through it was in fact pulled off successfully.

Wonder Woman #765: This ‘running gag’ and Wonder Woman’s borderline-indifference is incredibly uncomfortable at this point.

Justice League Dark #27: Okay I have *no* idea where the hell this is going from here, but I’m all about it.

Suicide Squad #10: I’m gonna need to see how this twist plays out in the last issue (beyond ‘Taylor wanted to use that character again’), but I’ll admit I look forward to rereading this as a whole after the next issue closes it out.

Batman: Three Jokers #3: I’ll go more in-depth later since several have asked about my overall thoughts on the series now that it’s done. For now, I’ll simply say that post-Doomsday Clock I’ve been convinced that beneath a patina of hackishness Geoff Johns and what he’s trying to say are sincerely pernicious. But guys...what...what if he really is just genuinely a dumb fucking idiot?

Anonymous said: I know you probably dropped that digital only “Superman Man of Tomorrow” book, I haven’t been following it too, but I just read #18 for some reason and I’m so glad I did! It’s entirely set inside what I believe is the coolest Fortress ever (with some great nods to the All-Star Fort Superman), and it’s a really solid adventure one-shot, I really recommend you read it, and if you do, please share your thoughts!

Anonymous said: Needed to pass this along but the latest issue of Superman: Man of Tomorrow by Brandon Thomas feels like something you would love even though it’s a one and done. It’s not Keatinge-tier but it perfectly captures that feel for the Fortress you talk about wanting and has Morse code eyeblinking between Superman and a flying shark.

Superman: Man of Tomorrow #18: I checked this out based on the recs above, and yeah, this one was a hoot! A consistently fun and clever Superman caper, far more than worth the $1.

The Immortal Hulk #39: HELL YEAH, by which I mean JESUS NO. Immortal Hulk is on that roll we love to fear again, baby.

X of Swords: Stasis: I don’t have the slightest clue what’s going on anymore.

Shang-Chi #2: Fun! I’d drop it if it were an ongoing, but this definitely has me onboard for the rest of the mini.

Fantastic Four: Antithesis #3: Not all I’d want from Adams’ crack at the team or probably Waid’s final Marvel project for the time being (if not ever?), but a decent time.

Giga #1: I just don’t seem to vibe with Paknadel the way a lot of folks seem to, and I couldn’t much follow what was happening here anyway.

The Department of Truth #2: Yes, it does indeed keep up the pace after that gangbusters opening. It’s also however a product of rotten timing: a character is introduced here who is if not deliberately Warren Ellis-esque definitely fits that mold, who is major enough that he was surely conceived of prior to the book’s announcement in June 2020, the same month as...well.

Blue In Green: An Image Comics horror OGN covering the days immediately following the funeral of a struggling musician’s mother by Ram V, Anand RK, John Pearson, Aditya Bidikar, Tom Muller, and Ryan Brewer. I want to talk about it as little as possible plotwise beyond that it deals with legacy, art, and sacrifice, but the stylistic vibe here feels like a massive evolution of Morrison and McKean’s Arkham Asylum, meshed with incredible poetic diction and a musty air of nostalgic regret. This is easily one of the most gripping and impressive projects to come out of the medium in 2020, and deserves any and all sales and accolades it manages.

Slaughterhouse-Five: This OGN actually came out several weeks ago, but I only just got around to reading Ryan North and Albert Monteys’ adaptation of the classic, and while my college memories of the source material are too vague to comment on this as an adaptation, this is a towering work in its own right and can’t be recommended highly enough.

[thattimdrakeguy]

Hiya again, I'm the same person who asked you what qualities you like abt Tim Drake, what do you not like about him? Either from comics now or back then.

Sorry for having not answered this when you gave it to me a few days ago, I also have two other asks I need to answer. My energy has just dropped massively today for some reason, and I didn’t have a confident will to look at Tumblr often besides for dashboard and talking to a friend.

But it’s sort of a difficult question to say what I don’t like about Tim, at least in context to the whole 90s Tim I like and primarily based my blog around. Because when I liked him I accepted him for all his flaws really. He can be passive aggressive towards people he doesn’t like, and a touch condescending, but that’s normally when talking to people like Stephanie who have essentially no idea what they’re doing and bug him.

Like he’s a big social idiot which can cause problems, but I kind of like that about him. He’s sheltered a ton, so it makes sense for him to be socially oblivious and naive, it just adds to his character. Like when I see him be insensitive, I’m not so  much bothered that he was, because I can understand it from a character perspective, but it can get on my nerves I can easily see some petty loser fandom person use it to act like he’s a pure jerk or something.

Though using that perspective, it’s still not a lot about Tim.

Anything I’ve had problems with when it came to Tim is just writing problems, not really his character as established.

Like how poorly he got written after the Dixon era, and I do not like Dixon as a person, he sounds like a ripe stubborn right-winger, and a total ass because of that. But he’s also been the most consistent writer for Tim ever, with his main flaws in writing being shoving his freaking O.C. in places she didn’t belong, and never properly letting Tim and Jack advance their dynamic past punishments and Jack being a terrible dad.

After that it just went terrible wrong, like the first time I read the Jon Lewis run, I didn’t really think much of it, but that’s because I was primarily skimming the series more than reading it, and the artist being the same was enough for me not to think of anything. But Jon Lewis made Tim such a pretentious, judgmental jerk, and so self-absorbed in himself like he thought he was higher up. And he made him so unlikable. Tim could be pretty dang judgmental, and be too stuck on his perspective, but that’s more of a social problem more than Tim being something I’d call an actual jerk. When Tim used to be judgmental, it typically came from the right place, normally in the name of morals. But in the Jon Lewis run he’s just a total dick.

And then Bill Willingham, tried to make Tim more standard “cool”, hanging out more with jocks a few times, when Tim is established as preferring the nerd crowd, because despite being quite fit, that’s who he fit in with. And an assistant editor at the time actually described Tim as being someone who is generally meek.

So as ya can tell, they lost the point of who Tim is, and random changes don’t qualify as character development it’s just bad writing. A person doesn’t become a whole other person randomly. That’s bad writing.

The first writer of the OYL era of Robin was pretty good, but I can’t remember his name. Took him back to what made him work before, but in the knew Tim Wayne era.

After that it was a freaking mess, even Dixon couldn’t write Tim right anymore when he came back. Every writer just made him typical angsty teen with a touch of edge. Which makes sense given the context of the OYL era Tim, but then also why doesn’t he have any noticeable traits that are strong and represent himself?

Red Robin sucked. I don’t even begin to like it anymore. The whole “Damian is now Robin” scene was just freaking dreadful from every character perspective, and that was supposed to be the launching pad for a series, that main goal was to write Tim really differently. Chris Yost did okay, like even though Tim was still clearly very different, there was enough of Tim that seemed like he probably wrote him before. But FabNic was just genuinely awful, besides some narration, I can’t see Tim in his writing. He’s just been replaced as far as I feel reading it.

And that’s not even counting Geoff Johns’ Teen Titans run, where his bio describes the general opposite of what he is. I assume also in the name of making him cooler and edgier, but changes like that-- don’t equal good Tim or even basic good character writing.

Or the New 52, which is notoriously bad.

So Tim’s worst quality in a meta sense, is just being shackled to constant bad writers that I feel like never cared about him that much to begin with but was given the job. So most of them just turned out awful on him.

Original Tim I accept for all his personality flaws, because enough work with his character.

Current Tim as he’s written in most issues of the current Y.J. is just a bare bones leader character, who’s treated as being a packaged deal with a toxic girlfriend that doesn’t even make sense in a story context for them to be together or that in-love. They changed how he looks, what he wears, what his alias is. It’s not really Tim.

And the Detective Comics Rebirth era of Tim was a show off-y genius, that was extraordinarily handsome and talented, as well as being on the path to being an actual fascist because he has control issues. But supposedly Tynion, the writer of it, was just writing Geoff Johns’ Tim. Which is not the Tim to immediately go for.

Like literally to me what I don’t like about Tim is how often artists and writers just don’t even seem to pay attention to him when they write him, and if they do it’s not exactly the right guy.

It’s honestly really saddening reading a lot of his comics because of that. I’m just happy I at least have over 100 comics of well-written Tim, that I can read from, that allowed him to be my favorite character.

[eternallyvanned]

hi hi hi, so i’m writing a fic and i need a little bit of help with brainstorming and stuff.

so in the world, it’s been fifteen years since aliens invaded and the current year is 4051. ryan (about 32) is sick with some sort of alien virus. he’s been alone for as long as he can remember. jack (about 35), geoff (about 35) and gavin (about 21) have been together since the beginning of the invasion. geoff (about 21) found gavin (about 6) alone in a grocery store and took him under his wing. geoff and jack (about 21) were friends prior to the invasion, but geoff and jack didn’t find each other until a year after the invasion. they’ve been together since.

gavin’s out scavenging alone (which he’s not even supposed to be out by himself in the first place) when he finds a wounded michael (about 30). he drags michael back to the place they call home. neither jack nor geoff is home when he gets there, but that’s not surprising. they’re out scavenging and that’s the only reason gavin was able to sneak away. he’s attempting to fix michael up when michael wakes up. and michael does NOT wake up peacefully. he wakes up with wild eyes reaching for a gun that isn’t there— and when he finds it isn’t, he ignores his injuries and ends up pinning gavin to the ground trying to figure out who he is and why he brought him here. jack and geoff arrive at that moment and jack points a gun at michael demanding he get off of gavin in a very calm fashion. michael begrudgingly does and he ends up being restrained with rope while jack tends to his wounds and questions him as geoff gives gavin an earful.

they learn that michael is from the rebellion — a group of humans who’ve banded together and are fighting against the aliens— and was with his partner Jeremy (also about 30) doing some scouting for an attack when everything went to shit. they got separated when jeremy threw a teleportation grenade at michael so that he could get away. and that’s all he remembers before waking up there.

meanwhile, ryan finds jeremy, who’s not doing so well and is barely conscious, and takes him back to his one person camp. ryan tends to jeremy’s wounds for a few days before jeremy is finally coherent upon which jeremy tells the story and asks ryan to come with him. ryan is hesitant because this is literally the first human he’s seen in about twelve years and as far as he knows androids don’t have realistic looking bones, but have the aliens somehow figured out how to reconstruct things like that?? but jeremy drags him along.

meanwhile michael is recovering. it’ll take a few weeks, but when he does he’ll take gavin, geoff, and jack to the rebellions main base. when they get there they are introduced to a shit ton of people and michael is deeply upset to find that jeremy hasn’t made it back. gavin meets alfredo (about 28), fiona (about 18), meg (about 22), matt (about 29), and lindsey (about 30). geoff and jack become acquainted with burnie and gus, as well as some of the other older members of the rebellion. they all settle into their life their. gavin even starts to train but finds out he is a danger to everyone around him with a gun in his hands.

ryan and jeremy, a few weeks later are scavenging when they’re attacked by a group of androids. it’s jeremy’s first time away from camp since injured and he’s still healing. things go to shit and in classic jeremy fashion, he throws a teleportation grenade to get ryan away from the situation. ryan wakes up five hours later in the middle of nowhere. he walks for a while and eventually finds somewhere familiar, luckily enough, somewhere he can find the store from. so he does. and he finds the area crawling with aliens and androids. jeremy is nowhere to be found. so ryan goes back to his camp. which also happens to have been found. so ryan with only the information jeremy’s briefly told him, goes looking for the rebellion’s base.

he finds it after a week or two— though it’s more like they find him. ryan is brought in as a possible enemy, treated as they would treat a threat. he definitely doesn’t go down without a fight, managing to take down three of five sent out to apprehend him because he’s been unknowingly close to finding the base. it’s meg who’s there to interrogate him. ryan explains himself, but times have proven that androids are adept liars and they all already have assumed jeremy dead, funeral and all. so they continue they’re interrogation despite ryan’s protests. michael is dragged in at this point because jeremy’s name was mentioned and let’s just say ryan gets a pretty hard punch to the face.

fortunately enough when he wakes up and it’s back to his negotiating, he says something that the aliens would have no reason to know— something that clues michael in. and of course burnie is all apologies when he comes in, some of the medically inclined tending to ryan’s wounds, but none of his apologies stop ryan from throwing the one good punch he feels he deserves. michael rushes to his defense because burnie’s been almost father like throughout michael’s stay at the rebellion’s base but burnie has been the one controlling everything so he admits he deserved it, even if he feels his nose break and blood pours down his face.

ryan and michael form a very tenuous bond over trying to find jeremy though they’re still seconds from ripping each other’s throats out. that’s all i have so far, but i know ryan finds his place there and bonds with geoff and jack. pretty sure he ends up sharing a room with geoff and jack after he and michael are separated so that they don’t kill each other. ryan kind of is really bad with people and has to adjust to being around other humans. a lot of filler happens and then an android is brought in. it’s kind of weird being the one standing over a possible threat but it’s where ryan finds himself along with meg. the android goes by trevor and is almost convincing enough, but something in his coding has messed up and it seems he’s developed a bit of a mind of his own because when they make careful incisions in his synthetic skin or throw punches until his teeth are bloody, the only thing he does is laugh. it’s unnerving and meg doesn’t help with how she almost patronizingly asks ryan if he needs to step away. ryan finds himself worked up which really isn’t a good thing. that added with how much downtime he hasn’t allowed himself to have isn’t great at all. so he glowers at meg, mostly annoyed with just how hot he feels, how thick and boiling his blood feels in his veins. he quietly tells meg to shut the fuck up before he makes an example of her. meg is a bit stunned but doesn’t show it, because she’s more concerned about the bright greenish blue fluid that leaks from ryan’s nose. trevor starts laughing and says something like “oh god it’s worked he has it he has it you’re all gonna die” and meg looks to him for only a second but that second is enough for ryan to collapse to the ground, eyes rolling into the back of his head.

that’s actually all i have so far, but i know they’ll rescue jeremy at some point. any pointers on where to go or hcs that might help me with the universe are very appreciated if you’re willing. 🥺🥺 @ilookbetterinslowmo

[dmellieon]

BAFTA A Life in Pictures: Martin Freeman

23 June 2019

Read the full transcript from BAFTA A Life in Pictures: Martin Freeman

Briony Hanson: Hello everybody, a very warm welcome this evening, thank you for coming to BAFTA on this very sunny evening and forsaking the sun for what is going to be a very entertaining evening, I think. I’m Briony Hanson, I’m delighted to be your host for this BAFTA Life in Pictures with Martin Freeman. With a back catalogue of well over thirty feature films and even more TV performances, Martin Freeman has a reputation for playing characters that we like, people that are full of wit, full of pathos, occasionally full of a little desperation around the edges. He feels incredibly relatable; we all think we know him from the characters that he plays, and tonight we get the chance to find out if that was all true. We’re going to see a little taster of his work before we introduce him; can we roll the clips please?

[Clip plays]

[Applause]

Ladies and gentlemen, Martin Freeman.

[Applause]

Martin Freeman: Thank you.

BH: Hello, thank you so much for joining us tonight.

MF: It’s my pleasure.

BH: Everyone here probably first met you in The Office.

MF: Yeah, I’d think so.

BH: But there was a bit of backstory before we got there. Can you just fill us in on how you got to the point of becoming a kind of—everybody’s most loveable Tim.

MF: Yeah. That was about five or six years after I left drama school. I was at Central in North London for three years and I’d done a lot of theatre and small bits on TV and short films and stuff, and around about the time I got The Office, I was being seen a lot and doing little bits for BBC Comedy I suppose. I was kind of well known to that department as a young actor who could do—who could sort of be a bit funny, but I never saw that as—you know, I was an actor who could be funny as opposed to a stand-up. But I found myself in the company of a lot of people who were stand-ups I guess, you know, or who had that background, a straight comedy background.

And then yeah I got to The Office actually via, I had done a sketch show that Ricky Gervais wrote on, a sketch show called Bruiser that had Mitchell and Webb in it and Olivia Colman and Matt Holness and it was a sketch show that very few people saw but I first met Ricky there and we’d liked each other. He never said, ‘oh you’re going to be in my thing,’ but about six or eight months later or whatever when I went up for The Office, he wasn’t actually there but Stephen Merchant was there with Ash Atalla the producer and thankfully for me that audition went well. But I was knocking about doing—I was always working, you know, but I wasn’t famous…

BH: Had you always wanted to be an actor?

MF: Yeah. Well from about seventeen, yeah. I joined Youth Theatre when I was about fifteen in Teddington where I grew up and yeah, from about seventeen I thought it was something that I could do. I gradually had the confidence to think that I could maybe have a try at it as opposed to—I always really enjoyed it but I used to look with awe at people who could sight read or make anything look real or effortless and think ‘God that’s amazing,’ and then sort of little by little I thought ‘well I can do that.’ And so I then went to college and auditioned for drama school.

BH: And drama school you dropped out of.

MF: Well no I didn’t drop out but I left slightly early, I left slightly early because I got a job. In the third year, for those not familiar with this, the idea is anyway agents and business people come and see major drama schools in their third year and see young actors and see who they might like and whatever. And a few of us had agents but then the—yeah, I ended up leaving early to go and work with Matthew Warchus at the National Theatre in Volpone and then I did Mother Courage there. But yeah I left a few months early so I didn’t actually, I didn’t properly get my degree from Central.

[Laughter]

It’s been a bone of contention ever since.

BH: When you went to work at the National you’ve talked before about how you were effectively a spear-carrier.

MF: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

BH: Which presumably means you got to watch a lot of people?

MF: I did, yeah absolutely.

BH: And how was that?

MF: It was amazing. It was really—looking back on it I was twenty-three and it was startling really because I’d literally been at Central on the Friday and then I was rehearsing at the National Theatre on Monday and the first person I met there was Simon Russell Beale who was very nice and very welcoming and seemed as nervous as I was, weirdly. But watching him, watching Michael Gambon in that production then in Mother Courage watching Diana Rigg and Geoff Hutchings and David Bradley—it was amazing. And as I say I was doing very little in those productions, any little bits I had believe me I clung on to, but you got to do a lot of looking and learning, it was a fantastic place to learn.

BH: And did they ever contradict what you’d been told at drama school? I used to be involved in a company that trained screenwriters and we would tell them certain things and then put them up in front of Charlie Kaufman and everything they’d been told would be thrown up in the air. Was that the same?

MF: To a certain extent, yeah. I mean I remember first realising—and I didn’t know Michael Gambon, for instance, had a reputation for arsing about. I didn’t know that.

[Laughter]

But he does, he does. Because I was young, what did I know? And then half way through rehearsals he gives this big speech as Volpone where he’s talking to a crowd of people, a sort of mountain bank speech where he’s trying to sell them a load of hooky gear, you know. And he started just making shit up. And I thought ‘ha, that’s very funny, he won’t be doing that for real,’ but he did! He did!

[Laughter]

Pretty much every performance he had this probably four-minute stand-up, and it ended up being stand-up where he—Ben Johnson wasn’t writing about Nancy Sinatra and Pot Noodles, you know—

[Laughter]

That was pure Michael Gambon. So even though that wasn’t exactly—that wasn’t what Matthew Warchus asked him to do, but that’s what he was doing. So yeah, you would never have thought as a sort of serious acting student that that was what the great and the good would be doing. And they’re not all doing that; but that’s part of someone like his greatness actually is he’s loose. I mean thinking about it now, there’s a real—the dual thing of the professionalism, say, the real razor sharp, surgeon-like work of Simon Russell Beale and the really sort of looseness of Michael Gambon—not that he’s not also sort of professional and precise—but two very different approaches, and I think those were a really good first introduction to work for a young person, do you know what I mean? Because I was seeing, I think Michael Gambon would be completely mesmerising in one way, and Simon Russell Beale would be the same in a very different way. But they would complement each other.

BH: And you went from that to The Bill—is that your first credit?

MF: That was my first TV credit. I mean again at the time—I left in ’95, I left drama school in ’95 and for a good year and a half all I did was solid theatre all around the place, but my first TV credit was The Bill, yeah.

BH: Which is probably everybody who’s ever sat in that chair, that’s what they say, The Bill, Casualty…

MF: Apart from Nicole Kidman.

[Laughter]

She did Doctors.

[Laughter]

BH: Why do you think that’s such good training?

MF: Well, not wanting to disparage The Bill; I don’t know that it’s good training it’s just that’s what there was, that’s what was around. It was a sort of a kind of rep for actors really. It ended up being good training because of the speed of it, and you know people using terms that I didn’t know. I didn’t know what anyone was talking about for the two weeks I was on it. So when people would say ‘favour the wall,’ what?! Favour the wall? Oh you mean walk near the wall, right. ‘And if you could just banana over there,’ what the fuck are you talking about?!

[Laughter]

You mean walk in a curve, right OK. But yeah the speed of it, and I was fairly bad on The Bill, I was fairly bad in my little guest lead, but it was a good, very steep, quick learning curve. Through that and through—I’ve always been lucky enough to work, thank God, you want to get better. And so the next—I think the next time I was in front of the camera I knew to slightly just do less. I think the hard thing or the common thing with young actors or actors who don’t work that much, is you put them in front of the camera and they’re going to do all of their acting at one go. They’re going to do all their acting in two lines because it’s very difficult not to, because what else are you going to do? It’s a gradual thing about learning to refine and refine until eventually you are hopefully, unless you really are required to depending on what play you’re doing, you’re hopefully doing nothing at all. And that’s—I think that’s the goal of enlightenment, that’s when you reach Zen is when you’re doing nothing. Or at least what looks like nothing. You’re actually doing loads but it has to look like nothing or people just smell it a mile off.

BH: Let’s see if in The Office by that time you were doing nothing. Let’s have a look at our first clip.

[Clip plays]

[Applause]

Too tragic to even describe. Do you remember the audition process for this? You said you knew Ricky…

MF: Yes I do remember the audition process. I went in actually to read for the part of Gareth who Mackenzie Crook ended up playing brilliantly. I went in for Gareth and it was Stephen Merchant and Ash Atella and I did my reading of Gareth whatever that would have been I don’t know, I can’t remember what I did. And it’s really like a showbiz story and I don’t know if it’s become a showbiz story because I’m naturally an actor and therefore am a twat—

[Laughter]

And therefore built it up to being this, but I’m pretty sure this is really what happened: I was on my way out the door, and I had my hand on the door—I think this is true, I don’t know but I think this is true—and Stephen Merchant or Ash said ‘actually can we get Martin in maybe to read Tim, I think that might be a good thing.’ And I’d seen the first episode script and really liked it so I knew the character Tim, so I sat back down and read Tim and thank God I did because I wouldn’t have got cast as Gareth over Mackenzie because he was so perfect for it. But thankfully that was a good fit, yeah. But I could very nearly have not been in The Office.

BH: Did you like auditioning? Do you like auditioning?

MF: I mean I don’t love it. I don’t think many actors love it, but there is a period where when you start getting offered—if you are lucky enough to be offered work on the one hand it’s a real relief and on the other hand you’re wondering if you deserve it, do you know what I mean? If you’ve earned it because you think have I fought for it or you know… Because you’re really in the trenches when you’re in a room, when you’re in a corridor, you know with twenty other people and you get the part you think ‘oh I won out over those.’ And when you start to get offered things of course it’s delightful and please God I don’t want to then go back to the corridor, but you do think ‘I wonder if…’ yeah part of you wonders if you’re a fraud, yeah.

BH: You wonder who you beat.

MF: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

BH: How tightly scripted was The Office? Did you have room to play with it or did you…

MF: You did have room to play with it, yeah. I think probably what—what I feel happened in the aftermath of the success of The Office was that when—because it looks improvised, because it looks like we’re improvising on camera, people would ask Ricky and Steve ‘is it improvised,’ and basically they came back ‘no, none of it’s improvised. It’s all scripted,’ which of course is true, it was very scripted, it was very scripted. But to say it was not loose would be not true. Anyone who knows—there’s a couple of people in the audience who have known me for a very long time and they know that there’s things that I say that are only me, and I’m sure the same goes for Lucy or Mackenzie, you know. That doesn’t mean I’m going to take a co-write or push to say it was improvised; it wasn’t improvised, it was a scripted comedy that I think they were—a) the scripts were fantastic, but also Ricky and Stephen were smart and generous enough to allow you to be loose with it. Because if you trust the people who are being loose, good things can happen, you know. We weren’t kind of improvising whole scenes on camera or going ‘I think my character should go down—‘ it wasn’t that, it was totally shaped and formed, but yeah we were allowed to be loose. And I think that’s what you see on the show.

BH: And what was the dynamic between the two of them, Ricky being in it, and the rest of the cast?

MF: Well I think—Ricky was and is an amazing person; I’ve not seen him for a long time, but he’s an amazing person in that he struck me as someone who, if he’s not making you laugh at any given time, life is a waste of time. Like it’s not actually worth living unless you are sort of convulsing in pain at something he’s just said. Brilliant, but on the other hand really infuriating if you’ve got ten minutes to go and half a page to do and you think ‘mate, this is your show. What are you—stop making everyone laugh!’ Because deliberately corpsing me isn’t going to get the day finished because I can’t carry on if you’re making me laugh. So it’s like a sort of pathological thing for him I think. It’s a very—I always felt like he was one of the best natural actors that I’d worked with, you know. Like everything he knows instinctively is pretty bang-on I think. And not having been trained in it and not having an actor’s background, he’s—I thought he was amazing.

BH: And what about Tim? I mean Tim’s a really fantastic sort of non-showy, relatively passive character, which is why that sequence is so dramatic, it’s such a big deal for him to do that. Did you like Tim?

MF: I loved him. I really loved him, yeah. Because he was—I was able to put a lot of me in it, there was a lot of my brother Tim in it as well; it felt familiar to me as someone—not that I’m always like that but as someone who is an observer of stuff and finds things ridiculous and awkward and embarrassing a lot of the time, yeah. And as a conduit for that I really enjoyed playing him. As a character he was the funniest person in that office because he had a true, the best sense of humour. For the audience at home obviously David Brent is a hilarious incarnation of a character, but as a real person Tim was a funny bloke and he had a real eye for what was amusing, but he was as happy to keep it to himself as he was to share it. But I liked Tim very much, yeah.

BH: But also amazingly tragic in that scene. It’s almost hard to watch.

MF: Yeah I know. But to give credit to Ricky and Steve, they wanted all that stuff to be as important as the David Brent Comic Relief dance or whatever. There’s sort of The Office Greatest Hits, which usually involve David Brent, understandably because it’s a fantastic character performed fantastically, but the really good B-sides I think are the more sort of straight bits, the more dramatic bits, you know. So it felt, from my career’s point of view, that was a big show. For those of you too young—including my kids, they don’t give a shit—do you know what they like? The American Office.

[Laughter]

They really love the American Office, they barely—that’ll be the first time they’ve seen that.

[Laughter]

BH: But the American Office is only one of many, many different language translations, isn’t it?

MF: Yes it is, yeah.

BH: There’s like a Finnish Office and an Indian Office.

MF: Yes, it was a big show.

BH: Is that a very surreal experience to see yourself—

MF: It is. It is, yeah. I’ve not stuck with the Finnish one as much as the American one. I got more out of the American one than the Azerbaijanian one.

[Laughter]

But it’s horses for courses. But having been in a very big comedy I still felt like because what Tim was being required to do was, you know, it was almost fifty-fifty between the funny stuff and the straight stuff so I was getting the best of both worlds for me as a practitioner because I was flexing both those muscles; it was really nice.

BH: Let’s move from the small screen to the big screen. You did a few bits and pieces and then you came to Hitchhiker’s Guide.

MF: Yeah.

BH: Actually some of those bits and pieces we clipped, that great Love, Actually clip.

MF: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

BH: Did you find that you were getting quite a lot of the same characters sent to you? Yeah.

MF: Sort of yeah. Versions of. I think in the wake of The Office you know, nice sort of nice next-door boys. Lovelorn, yeah. That kind of thing. Which I think happens—I had to make my peace with that because I realised as it went on that that happens to every single person. It wasn’t just happening to me, they weren’t just singling me out, that happens to the greatest actors. Once they’ve made their thing—you don’t think Robert Di Nero got offered a few gangsters? Or Al Pacino? The best people who I’ve always loved, that happens to them, so it’s going to happen to me of course.

I had to accept it and just still do the best work I could do within that, and still try and make it layered and still try to make it three-dimensional. That’s always my entire belief in anything I do; as long as you’re making it layered, as long as the audience believe you for that whether it’s half an hour or two hours of whatever; that for me is the beginning, middle and end of any actor’s job, you know? Whether or not you’re doing a Senegalese accent with a limp, that’s extra, but if I don’t believe you I don’t care. I’ve always tried to give myself that as the main goal. Even if you could say there’s a similarity in the world of parts, OK yeah there is, but there aren’t many people you and I could sit on the stage and name for whom that is not true. Meryl Streep might be one; there aren’t many. People we love and you go yeah but they sort of operate in that world.

Also you have to be realistic about what your playing range is. Not unambitious, because I’m still, you know I’m still really ambitious but also yeah I’m probably not going to play the same parts that X, Y and Z are going to play, or be offered those parts. And that’s where strategy and your own work and your representation’s good skills come in about trying to make people see you in a different light. But yeah, at first of course I was in Love, Actually because Richard Curtis loved The Office.

BH: Let’s move to another totally different world that is the world of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

MF: Sorry, yes.

BH: Let’s see.

MF: Do the thing.

[Laughter]

BH: Yes, that’s supposed to happen immediately!

[Clip plays]

MF: Seamless!

[Applause]

BH: So this was your first feature lead.

MF: Yes.

BH: Did you—was there a sense of sort of anxiety or pressure about that?

MF: Oh God no.

[Laughter]

No there wasn’t. And I don’t say that with pride, but no there wasn’t. It all—what I remember about the audition process for that is I was doing an ITV sitcom at the time, I was filming it or I was rehearsing it, and I went for this audition with Garth Jennings and Nick Goldstein, the producer, and Garth the director of this. They had like a boat on the river, presumably… On the top of a tower block! And their office, a company called Hammer and Tongs and they were a very homely environment, they were two of the loveliest men you could hope to meet, and mainly what was in my head in that audition was my ex Amanda had driven me there, and I was aware that she had nowhere to park. And I thought ‘oh I better hurry up.’ And it was going very well, the chat was happening and going on and going on and all I was thinking was ‘Amanda’s going to fucking kill me.’

[Laughter]

Because at no point—it worked, because I got the part—at no point did I think ‘this is a big deal.’ And I think that’s sort of stood me in quite good stead all the time. All the time. Because I’m always basically thinking ‘someone’s double parked.’ That’s what I’m thinking, yeah.

BH: And this is the first time you took on a character that we all knew.

MF: Yeah.

BH: Because of the books, because of the TV series, yeah. Was that, does that—are you able to sort of bring your own stamp to it, or to what extent do you feel free to do that?

MF: I felt very free to do it within the confines of what the character is. And I think that’s true of all of them; I’ve played a few characters now that have been in literature, say, and there’s no point doing it—if I was just going to do an impression of Simon Jones, who’s my boyhood version of that part. Well he’s already done that and he’s done it better than I could do it so there’s no point, you know. So I definitely, I didn’t want a kind of Uncle Bulgaria dressing gown either, I wanted something different. That was towelling and we were doing it in the summer and it was fucking boiling.

[Laughter]

That was more fool me. But yeah I think you have to have your own stamp on it because it makes it fun for you and it makes it not a museum piece or a cover version; it should never be a cover version.

BH: And this one was in the works for a long time, long before you, too, from the ‘70s I think—is that right?

MF: Yeah I think they’d been trying to make a Hitchhiker’s for a long time, yeah.

BH: And Douglas Adams said that he didn’t want to do it because it was like Star Wars with jokes.

MF: Yeah so he had, well he latterly had help with a screenwriter called Kerry Kirkpatrick who helped bring it to life, and Douglas unfortunately didn’t live to see it made, which was a real tragedy actually. But there were people on our firm who did know Douglas and who loved Douglas and we got to meet his family a little bit so it was really nice. It did feel like a film made with a lot of love for him and for the idea and the tone of it, I guess.

BH: And the tone is very, very British.

MF: It’s really more British than I am. Yeah it’s really British.

BH: In a sort of Monty Python way.

MF: Yes, I think so, yes. Yeah, it’s very—and I don’t say this as anything like a slight because Monty Python is obviously a huge influence on my life as I’m sure it is everyone of a certain age’s, but yes, it’s very English university sort of humour, yes.

BH: Were you surprised that it travelled?

MF: I was in a way, but then it didn’t travel that well because we didn’t get to make another one.

[Laughter]

BH: It did OK though!

MF: Yeah it did really well; I could honestly say at that point I’m in a number one film in America and in Britain. Great, I could have retired on that, that’s something to tell your kids. Again, they don’t give a shit, they’re texting.

[Laughter]

BH: Now!

MF: They’re watching the American Office. But that’s something you could say was a successful film, but I remember having dinner with Garth Jennings shortly after it opened and I said ‘do you think there will be another one?’ and it just didn’t make enough, did it. It just has to make a certain amount, and I think it got to number one very quickly in America but it didn’t sustain; there just wasn’t enough there for an American audience or for an international audience. As you say, it’s not even British it’s English, it’s very English, yeah.

BH: You’ve continued with that very poster boy for British humour with The Cornetto trilogy, which I’m gutted we can’t screen.

MF: Right.

BH: And Nativity as well. Can you talk a little bit about those, particularly your relationship with Simon Pegg?

MF: Yeah. Well I’m not Simon Pegg, just to clarify.

BH: Good, that’s why I asked.

MF: We do—the running joke between me and Simon, and John Simm, actually, is that—

[Laughter]

If we’re in a pub or a park we’re sort of each other’s stand-ins for compliments or whatever. ‘I loved you in that Life on Mars’—‘wasn’t me, wasn’t me’—‘yes it was.’ You end up as an actor in the same Rolodex as other people, as other actors. Yes I became good friends with Simon many years ago, and Amanda my ex and Maureen, Simon’s wife, we would see each other a lot and we hung out a lot together and in the course of that yeah, Shaun of the Dead happened. I was actually offered another part on Shaun of the Dead, but I was doing—I was doing a thing called Charles II at the time with Joe Wright for the BBC, and so I couldn’t do it, and so I ended up doing a sort of joke appearance in Shaun of the Dead with an alternative gang. You sort of follow Shaun’s gang and they bump into another gang headed by the sort of people who are a bit like this gang. So there’s Tamsin Grieg and me and Reece Shearsmith as people in this other gang. And that was mine and Simon’s and Edgar’s I suppose joke to the fact that people think me and Simon are similar.

And then yeah Hot Fuzz I play a little bit more in it and then The World’s End I had my biggest role in the Cornetto trilogy when I got my head knocked off by a baseball bat.

BH: Were they fun?

MF: Yeah they are fun because they’re good people. Simon and Nick and Edgar are really lovely people and they’re friends and that shows I think and there’s a lot of love in those films, a lot of good humour on those sets.

BH: And same with Nativity? My son’s favourite film.

MF: Oh good. I love Nativity, I’m really proud of it. And short of—yeah there are some things I’ve done which are big things and very universal, but just below that there’s Nativity actually. I get more compliments for Nativity than almost, almost anything because of the age that it spans. Because parents like it, kids like it and different generations of kids like it; I really like that film. Debbie Isitt wrote that—well I say wrote, we were improvising on camera; she wrote the outline and storyboarded it and directed it. She’s a very smart cookie, Debbie, so smart that I was like ‘well just write a screenplay, please just write words so you don’t have to go through hours of me improvising badly to edit out.’ But she likes what happens between humans when they’re making stuff up on the fly.

BH: Interestingly all the reviews of that talk about the idea that it’s ripe for remake which seems ridiculous because it’s so British that Americans wouldn’t make a film with that as your lead character.

MF: No probably not, probably not. Again, as you said it seems very British I think. But the people from other places I know who have seen it, they do love it. There is a sort of, you know, people who have got kids, kids go to school, there is a sort of universal experience there about childhood and teachers. Not everyone has a nativity play but that thing of a common endeavour of putting a performance on, that’s universal, really.

BH: We should get to Sherlock.

MF: OK.

BH: Let’s see a little clip of Sherlock.

MF: Yep.

[Clip plays]

[Applause]

BH: Again like The Office it’s something that you come to expecting one thing, you expect it to be a comedy or you expect it to be a whodunit, but actually incredibly poignant moments.

MF: Yes, yeah. I always thought it was just—what I was struck by when I read the first episode was just how smart it was and how funny it was and exciting. It really moved along at a great pace, and it was unexpected for me as well because I was sent this script saying they’re looking at you for Doctor Watson—not only me they were looking at a few people for Doctor Watson—and yeah, within the first couple of pages I thought this was really good. And my experience of it was it just got better. That was reading the first script before the pilot, before the first episode, anything. Every subsequent episode that I read, certainly of that first series, was amazing; it was so full. And then the decision was made, we made an hour-long pilot and then it went to ninety minutes and then we were told it was going to be ninety minutes and I thought that was a mistake, I thought ‘well that’s a bad idea, it doesn’t need to be ninety minutes, that’s rubbish. Bloody BBC.’ And I’m really glad that was the decision because it made it like a film; each episode was like a film and that made it like—I think that was partly why people were able to get behind it so much, because there was a lot of it but not too much of it.

BH: With a scene like that are you able to just put it off and go home and make the tea? Do you bring your work home with you?

MF: No. Not for things like that, no. I think what I tend to do is I don’t—I’m always aware when you’re talking about acting that you’re not down a coal mine. There’s hard work and then there’s hard work. But I don’t pretend that doing that costs me nothing or is easy or I’m not literally having a tea and then ‘oh yes love I’ll come and do the graveside scene,’ and all that, because you’ve got to get into a zone, you’ve got to concentrate and got to focus, but yeah, yes, for me generally as soon as you call wrap on a day it’s over. Especially with things like that and I’ve just done a show now I finished last night where there was some quite heavy stuff in that and my feeling is I want to get out of that as soon as possible because I’ve got to go home and I’ve got to see kids and I’ve got to be a normal person and I don’t want to carry that around. But for the duration of the day that you’re filming yeah if you don’t concentrate on it, to be honest, when you see it in six months time it won’t be as good as you hoped it would be. And I’ve been in that, I’ve seen that, and I don’t want to see it again. I want to try and protect myself as much as possible for when I sit down and watch it, often with my kids—I mean they do like some things that I’ve done, they like that—

BH: They like its.

MF: They like that. I want to be proud of it, you know, or as proud as I can be of it. So that does require real concentration. You know, acting is like anything, it’s really easy unless you want to do it well. If you want to be good at something it’s really hard. Football’s easy unless you want to be good; to be good at anything takes real work and application and concentration. For stuff like that, you ask for a bit of that atmosphere on the set and yeah, people always oblige because everyone in the crew wants to be good as well. But after it’s over it’s really over, yeah.

BH: Tell us about the chemistry between you and Benedict, which is famously the thing that makes everyone hysterical. How did you—you hadn’t worked with him before…

MF: No, I’d never worked with him before. I hadn’t—I’d seen him, I’d seen some of his work and knew he was really good. I really did think he was good and when I heard he was going to play Sherlock—because I was sent it, I was sent the script and as far as I remember, and my agent’s here, he can correct me, but I think Ben was attached to play Sherlock Holmes and I thought that’s good, I can see that, he’ll be brilliant at that. And when I finally got into a room with him and just sort of read, it worked, something worked. Neither me nor Ben can take credit for that it’s just luck, it’s good fortune, you know.

BH: I think Mark Gatiss said the way he played Sherlock changed after you were cast.

[Laughter]

I’m feeding you here.

MF: Not my words.

[Laughter]

The words of Mark Andrew Gatiss. That’s not his middle name. No but I think when you’re working with good people—well I mean he hadn’t seen the way I’d play John before but you know Ben had an effect on me. Because your job is to react. You know that old adage of acting is reacting is completely true. Unless you know how to receive something and change accordingly then there’s no good to anyone. Because if someone’s giving you A, B and C and you’re busy doing F, G and J, then it’s pointless; you have to be listening. Ben is very, very good at his job; he’s brilliantly cast in that role, and something happened, some little game of table tennis happened where we were just knocking it back and forth. It was really, it was obvious in the room—I’m not saying it was obvious it was going to be this thing—but it was obvious we worked well together, yeah.

BH: When did you realise it was going to be ‘this thing’?

MF: When it came out. The day it came out I was rehearsing a play at the Royal Court and the day after a couple of people in the cast said ‘that was really good last night, that was really good.’ And that happened more and more and more and grew sort of exponentially over the course. It’s only three episodes the first series, it’s three episodes, and seemingly by the end of the first—I think we all had screenings round each other’s houses for those first three and for the second series as well, but I can’t remember whose house we were at… And I’m very behind on social media and stuff but I remember Mark Gatiss being on Twitter—

[Laughter]

Because that’s where he lives, OK.

[Laughter]

BH: You’ve got a Twitter account I’ve seen it. You’ve tweeted like three times.

MF: I haven’t.

BH: Oh is it not you?

MF: Never me.

BH: It looks really convincing.

[Laughter]

It stops in like 2013.

MF: I don’t say that with pride I just don’t know how to work it. But him sort of relaying to the room all this stuff that was happening. Like with The Office I knew I was very proud of it, that’s all I knew. And I knew while we were making it I had that—yeah, I did. Outside of myself because Paul McGuigan the director was absolutely brilliant; Stephen and Mark, absolutely brilliant; Ben, brilliant. I thought ‘this is going to be good,’ it’s a really good show. But you can’t anticipate the reaction it’s going to have but I knew I was really proud of it.

BH: And then something else that got a bit of a reaction: The Hobbit. Let’s go to Middle Earth now.

MF: Yes, yes. Do that thing.

[Clip plays]

[Applause]

BH: So obviously what we got there was a clip from all three of the films because we couldn’t decide which one to focus on. This is a mega project, three mega films with mega expectations and a mega part. Did you have fear taking it on? Was it an easy yes?

MF: No it wasn’t an easy yes, but for reasons more of family than of anything else, for practical reasons.

BH: Tell us how did you film it? In what period?

MF: I went to New Zealand in January 2011 and my last day was July 2013.

BH: Having done all three back to back?

MF: Not back to back, with a big gap. Two and a half years between the beginning and end but that wasn’t solid, there were gaps in there. The reticence for me was more about family because I was going to be away a long time. Amanda, who I was with at the time, she’s an actor, she’s a working actor, she’s a brilliant actor, and I didn’t feel I could just say—it wasn’t the ‘50s I couldn’t just say ‘right you’re coming with me.’ She had her own life, she had her own career. So that was a big decision for me. All around me people were going ‘well of course it’s a yes, of course it is.’ And I can see why they were saying that but I had two young children and I wanted that all to work, so that was why it was a difficult yes. So again it wasn’t because of a fandom thing or the legacy and literature and films; it genuinely wasn’t that, it was ‘Christ, how am I going to make this work for my family?’

BH: And when you’re performing in it, when you’re doing your day job, do you feel an expectation—all the financiers and everything they know that it’s got to hit certain points after The Lord of the Rings, it’s got to be a kind of mega success—does that translate to the cast or do you just kind of do your thing?

MF: No, no. It didn’t translate to me, not at all. Because Peter Jackson is so sort of omnipresent on those jobs that you know he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders and he’s probably having to compartmentalise that himself and just thinking ‘I just want to tell this story.’ So he’s probably trying to put the finance stuff on the backburner, all that stuff. It doesn’t, I didn’t feel it filtered down to us, now.

BH: And what about the green screen? Because you were basically standing on a kind of concrete floor with a few twigs around you.

MF: A lot of the time, yeah. There was a fair bit of time that was real and we went—as anyone who’s been there knows, New Zealand is a very beautiful country and it’s got lots of different looks. So we did shoot on a lot of different looks but we were also shooting a lot of the time in a car park, you know.

BH: But is that difficult, is that sort of flexing different muscles as an actor?

MF: It is, yeah. It is flexing different muscles as opposed to being something I hated. I’d much rather look in someone’s eyes and do it. I think McKellan’s told this story, that in the first film there’s a scene where all the dwarves come to Bilbo’s house and Gandalf, right. So there are about 50,000 people in my house and  because we’re all small but Gandalf is taller, Ian had to be in a separate set where they filmed us both simultaneously on what they call slave motion. So two cameras are doing exactly the same movements at exactly the same time but filming different sets. So we had—me and the dwarves had each other to look at and a fake Gandalf, like a green tennis ball Gandalf, and Ian just had a load of fucking green tennis balls in his little grief hole. And we all had little earwig ear pieces in so we could all hear what the others were saying on the other set but we couldn’t look into their eyes, we couldn’t hear them the way we can hear each other. It was pretty difficult and I think Ian by his own admission found that pretty depressing, I think, because it sort of went against everything he’d done for the past fifty-five years. We found it hard too but it was beautifully choreographed and you see those scenes in the finished film and it’s worked, it’s beautifully done.

BH: And presumably you can’t see rushes, or if you can—

MF: I wasn’t, no I was certainly in no position either I didn’t want to and I certainly wouldn’t have been shown them anyway.

BH: Would you not normally do that?

MF: No I don’t think—also rushes are kind of different now because for previous generations when people were invited to rushes, you’re generally not now. I mean that’s a thing of the past I think, it’s not happening.

BH: Though it’s a bit surreal with this one where you did do them effectively sort of back-to-back, in that you couldn’t see what you’d done in order to change it.

MF: No, but because the filming period was so long that we could at least—no you’re right, you’re right. Which is why my performance is so uneven. Which explains the Scottish accent in the second one. And so we had to go back in 2013 and do stuff so we kind of were informed by that but I think, I don’t know, you’re playing that part for so long, we’d all played those parts for so long and obviously Ian had done it all those years before, you kind of know what part you’re playing and in some sense, and any actor will know this, it’s sort of wrong anyway to be led by the audience reaction. That’s why I find it not helpful if I’m doing a play to not read reviews during it because I don’t want to start playing the notes of what they did like or didn’t like about what I did.

I think you just have to stick true to what you know you’re playing. And if it’s suiting you and the director and the artistic team that’s what you’ve got to keep doing rather than suiting a critic or your cousin or whatever. You’ve just got to keep going with it.

BH: And given that you spent sort of two or three years in the world of orks and elves and lonely mountains—did it send you a bit mad?

MF: No it didn’t. No, I mean I think a lot of the time you think it’s a mad way to make a living, as an actor.

BH: You mean generally?

MF: Yeah. Whatever you’re doing, I mean I’ve just been doing a very naturalistic set in the real world thing and even then you find yourself in situations where you think this is not what the career’s officer had in mind, you know. But yeah that’s a more extreme version of that and there were times when I and I think everyone on the set of the Hobbit films felt this was just like ‘how is this going to work? We’re filming in a sort of nothing space and it’s going to become this Elvin kingdom or whatever.’ It is—it’s very, very impressive and it’s nothing to do with you. You’re doing you’re bit but you’re a little cog in a massive wheel with—I walked on to the set of The Hobbit for the first time and it was like walking into NASA because there were banks of people with laptops or not laptops but computers just doing this, and it wasn’t like a rehearsal room put it that way, it wasn’t like a normal film set, it was very techno. But all those techno people are also very creative and they’re artists as well. So everyone is going towards the same endeavour but your little bit of acting even though it is ultimately people want to see human experience, all the stuff going on around you and all the spectacle and cleverness is nothing to do with you, you know.

BH: Let’s move to the snowy North American wastes for a bit of Fargo.

[Clip plays]

[Applause]

So obviously everyone knows that this is loosely based on the world that the Coen brothers created for Fargo, which is a much-loved world, a much loved film. Was it much loved by you?

MF: Yeah I really liked it but I wasn’t a Fargo-ologist or anything, I hadn’t seen it multiple times. I’d seen it when it came out, really liked it, loved the tone that they got and that particular flavour they got. But before I did it I hadn’t seen it for a long, long time.

BH: And did you trust that it was going to work, taking the kind of sense and tone and location—

MF: Yeah because I read—again, so much of my job and anything I can take credit for, one of the things is I have to trust my own taste. And this was a thing where my American representation did a fine job in getting to a point where I was being sent an offer for this show—I was filming series three of Sherlock, I was staying in a hotel and I got episode one through and that scene was the clincher for me, I was like ‘I’m going to be doing that with Billy Bob Thornton? Of course I’m going to fucking do it. That’s too good not to do.’ And it was a straight offer and there weren’t—for where Lester Nygaard gets to go in those episodes, not everyone’s seen me do that. So it was really lovely to be offered it and to be trusted with that. Also with that accent and that particular flavour, that’s not something I’m doing all the time and to have that trust is a real confidence boost.

BH: And tell us about that accent because obviously that’s such a massive part of this. Is that constraining or liberating or fun or—

MF: Very liberating. It’s totally liberating. I think when anything is written with an accent in mind, written well with an accent in mind, there’s just that tune in your ear and in a way it can only be said in that accent. It makes complete sense in that accent. I worked very hard at it, I kept it up a lot.

BH: Are the scripts written with that accent?

MF: Billy’s character Lorne Malvo is not because he’s a drifter from somewhere else but everyone else has that tune and it’s everywhere in the script, yeah.

BH: It’s interesting what you said about your character progressed, because Tim in The Office his progression was that he tells Dawn what he thinks; this he becomes a massive killer and hits his wife with a hammer and—

MF: Orchestrates the death of his next wife—

BH: Which presumably is hugely entertaining?

MF: It’s massively entertaining, yeah. Contained within that first episode were so many things that as an actor you want to play. Again it was too good not to. I think, because my managers had always known that I’m just not going to do American TV because in those days, which seems like 100 years ago now, sort of just about or not quite pre-Netflix but just as Netflix was coming up, you had to sign on the line for seven years before you’d even kind of committed to the pilot. I was never going to do that, again because I have a family and I’m not going to up sticks and go somewhere else for seven years. But this was finite, it was ten episodes so they said ‘look read this, I know it’s American TV but it’s only ten episodes; it’s an offer, I think it’s really good.’ And it was, of course, brilliant. Noah Hawley was the writer and show runner and he did a fantastic job of getting that tone of the Coens and just running with it himself. People say to me ‘what was it like working with the Coen Brothers?’ and I have no idea! I’ve never met them! They were executive producers on it but I think that just involved them going ‘yeah you can do it,’ they gave their blessing but we never met them.

BH: We’ve got one final clip and we’re going to go into the Marvel world. So let’s see a little clip from Black Panther.

[Clip plays]

[Applause]

So this is obviously the second outing for Everett.

MF: Yes. Everett Ross appeared in the previous Captain America film in a small part and it was always going to be the deal that Everett had kind of more to do in the Black Panther film.

BH: What was the appeal of him? Because he couldn’t be further from where we started this evening.

MF: Well in his world, like he’s a fish out of water when he gets to Wakanda obviously, but in his world he’s got real high status, he’s kind of within the CIA let’s say quite a big fish, he’s a major sort of dude, you know. And I like—because I’ve played a lot of people who aren’t very confident, and I’ve played a lot of people who are sort of awkward, but I also like playing people who are confident; it’s sort of it’s quite relaxing, do you know what I mean? Just to be able to play someone who walks in the room knowing the room is for him. Again, he finds himself in a world where that’s not the case but on his own turf he has status and it’s kind of fun playing people—it’s fun playing all of it but I like playing people with status sometimes because you don’t get to, you definitely don’t end up kind of doing little tics and stuff that you’ve done a lot before when you’re playing nervous man from Surrey, you know.

[Laughter]

BH: Nervous disappointed man.

MF: Thwarted man.

BH: We talked about Sherlock being a thing. Good grief, did you know this was going to be the thing it became.

MF: Again not to the extent that it was, but when we were making it and before I was doing it I knew people who were very excited about it and I was hearing people very excited about it. I knew it had an audience, we all knew it had an audience and I thought it was really good what was happening on set everyday, I thought it was very impressive.

BH: Because you and Andy Serkis are the only two white actors in it.

MF: I don’t see colour.

[Laughter]

I refuse to see it… Yeah. And obviously I’m old mates with Andy and that was really lovely. I love those scenes between those characters, yeah. They’re great scenes. But I really liked Ryan Coogler who was the director and co-writer and he’s a very smart guy and very, what I liked about him because he’s young, you know, this sounds obvious to say that he cared but he really poured himself into it a lot and took nothing, nothing for granted. You could see it was work, he was going to work every day and not leaving anything in the locker, as they say.

BH: How does it work when you enter that Marvel universe? How much control, how much is dictated about your performance or what the film looks like?

MF: Nothing felt dictated, actually, no. It felt—the joy for me in all the work I’ve done, and please God continue to do, is I’ve eked out enough space for myself in my working life that I have autonomy, I don’t mean autonomy like I’m in charge, of course I’m not in charge, but in terms of between action and cut I don’t want to have gone home that day thinking ‘I wish I would have tried that,’ I try everything and I want to be satisfied, I want to be sated. And that felt like that on Black Panther, it was—regardless of size, my thing always is regardless of whether it’s a tiny indie film or a huge Marvel film, your job is the same and your relationship with the director should be the same. It’s an artistic one and it should be a craft one. Whether you’ve got billions or two quid, you want to make the scene the best you can and you’re trying to work out how that’s possible. That’s what I loved doing on Black Panther as well; we had a lot of chats about who he was and what his place in this world was, as Ryan did with every character. It’s the same job; it’s the same relationship you have on Nativity! or anything else, you know. You’re just trying—between action and cut you want the audience to believe what’s happening, the end. That’s your only job really.

BH: I don’t want to get all Desert Island Discs about it, but if there is a favourite character you’ve—

MF: The Beatles.

[Laughter]

BH: Have you got a favourite out of all these characters?

MF: No. No I haven’t. There are things I can’t imagine, the way my working life has gone I can’t imagine not having done The Hobbit or Sherlock or The Office, and now Black Panther as a recent addition to my working life, of course I’m very proud of that, proud to have been part of something that feels—it’s an artistic endeavour but it’s also a sort of social and cultural phenomenon as well.

BH: And obviously people want you to go back to things, they want you to do another Sherlock, they want you to do more Black Panther, which of course you’re going to do—

MF: Yes, please God

BH: Do you—are there directions that you want to go in?

MF: I mean a lot of them are unknown by me at the moment. What I’ve started to do and what I’ll hopefully do more of is be behind the creation of things and the actual the sort of coming to fruition of things. I like that. I like having a vote and not just having an opinion.

BH: Might that extend to writing and directing?

MF: I think I would need to get more confidence with those things, especially with writing. Because people say to me when I have this conversation sometimes with writers, because of course writers don’t see writing as this thing. So a lot of writers have said to me, ‘well you could write, you’re allowed to,’ and I’m like—it seems to me still like something that people from another planet do, like music. How do you do that?

BH: What about directing, though?

MF: I could see that more, but even then. I don’t know I would need to get more confidence in that. And again, so many people have told me well it’s a question of delegation: you get a good editor, you get a good DoP, all this stuff, and I know that’s always true but the stuff that you have to do before you start shooting and then after you start shooting, I’m not sure my brain works like that. I’m not sure that I can do the months of pre- and the months of post-. I don’t know.

BH: Co-direct.

MF: Maybe. But my favourite thing is acting. I think I’m quite good at acting.

[Laughter]

But genuinely I think that’s what I have to offer and I’m not exactly backwards in coming forwards with my opinions on a set or in a rehearsal room. I definitely want my flavour to be in there, but I like the collaboration of it. And again directing is also collaborative if you’re smart, if you’re a good director, but I don’t know. I don’t know if my brain is there for ‘OK now three months we’re going on another recce to some other place and I have to care as much about what rucksack someone’s wearing.’ I don’t care. Some people are fantastic at that thankfully, but I love my job and so many actors come to writing because they’re not acting, do you know what I mean? So in their downtime when they’re not getting parts they do that. I’ve been very lucky; I’ve not had that. I mean I know at some point I will and everything is finite but I’ve been very lucky; I’ve worked. I’ve always had that muscle worked, I’ve always had that satisfied.

BH: And throughout your career you’ve sort of flip-flopped between film, TV and theatre as well. Do you have a kind of first love out of those three disciplines, and are they different?

MF: They are quite different but again as I say your job is always the same, your job is just to make the audience believe for the duration of the play or the film or the television episode just to believe you’re that character. That’s it for me. The execution of it, of course, is different. But I don’t know that I have a first love. I learned everything through theatre, the basics, the rudiments of acting I learned in a Youth Theatre in Teddington with a couple of people who are here tonight as a teenager. And I owe that a lot. But I also know myself that I have quite a low boredom threshold and that I don’t want to do a run for eight months or a year or even six months; I’m not necessarily built for that because I like to move on, I’m quite restless like that. I do sort of—they’re like children, you love them all equally. They’ve all got different value but all equal value in a way. When I haven’t done a play in a while I’m desperate to do a play, and sometimes filming drives me up the fricking wall because sometimes the monotony of it or just the relentless ‘we’re going again, OK we’re going again. Christ.’ Filming walking up a hill fifty-six times or something. But then the monotony of doing a play eight times a week for months and months… So that’s why I quite like keeping on the move and being a moving target and doing a bit of that. It keeps me sane otherwise I feel like I atrophy.

BH: We’re going to take some questions from the audience. Just while we sort some microphones out, I believe there is one on either side, let me just ask you—do you know when you’ve done a good job? Do you feel, you know, do you do a take and go ‘do you know what I’ve nailed it.’

MF: Occasionally yeah. You’re not supposed to say that are you? But occasionally yes.

BH: And has that got better as you’ve gone—as you’ve done more and more?

MF: Your own gauge for that?

BH: Say again.

MF: My own gauge for that?

BH: Yeah.

MF: Yeah I think it has. With anything, whatever you do as a job you should get better at it the more you do it. If you’re a carpenter you should get better with wood twenty years after you start; so yeah the hope is you’ve got better and your experience tells you that probably will work and that won’t work. The job I just finished yesterday there was a day that I really had to admit that it wasn’t happening today. And professionally you are still at a baseline level and you have to deliver something, but whatever inspiration or Holy Spirit that you hope is going to descent on you, it sometimes doesn’t. You have to be OK with that. And again not that anyone else will necessarily agree or think that take was different, but just so you can think ‘I did the best I can possibly do there,’ some days unfortunately that doesn’t happen. Experience tells you to not kill yourself over it.

BH: Perfect. Let’s take some questions we’ve got a couple, one on either side down here. You first, or whoever gets the mic first. Don’t be shy, go for it.

Q: You were talking about accents. Is that a big part of learning acting process, studying it? Is that a big part of acting when you learn?

MF: What, sorry?

Q: Sorry my accent. Is learning accents a big part of acting process—

MF: Oh accents. Yeah, when required, yeah. I don’t think… I mean accents should be a by-product of whatever character you’re playing. Not every great actor is brilliant at accents and that doesn’t mean they’re a less brilliant actor. But I think if you are doing an accent, if I come out and I’m playing an American and I sound Swedish I will have failed.

[Laughter]

Q: Like for the accent from Fargo it really changed from the voice you—

MF: Yes it does in that sense it does—I played a Glaswegian in a film a few years ago and things make you feel differently, yeah. I mean an old friend of mine he saw Fargo and he’s not an actor but he was embarrassed because he thought my accent was terrible.

[Laughter]

BH: He’d never met anyone from Minnesota.

MF: No exactly. He hadn’t quite clocked that it was meant to be—he thought it was just a general American accent. And he thought ‘Martin’s shit at accents.’

[Laughter]

Which again may or may not be true but when he figured out it was a specific kind of one he gave me a pass. But yeah I think accents make you, like anything, speaking is a physical act so if you’re speaking in an accent different to your own one it makes you feel a different way. So in that sense it’s very important. I would rather see a truthful, good performance in someone’s own accent than a showy-offy performance in a different accent. Because it still has to be truthful and real.

Q: Thank you.

BH: And down here and then up here.

Q: Hello. My question is, because you have done lots of work adapted from books and novels and some of those are different, like Sherlock is just taking the core of the books but The Hobbit we know Peter Jackson was really faithful for the original materials. My question is for you as an actor taking part in adapted work do you take more care translating the word from the screenplay to the visual arts or do you also consider the original materials as well? And can I ask another question? And another question because you mentioned when you’re acting you like to give more options to the director, like you offer opinions to the director—do you think a film or TV series is a kind of collaborative work or does the creative work come from the director like we usually say the directors are the authors.

BH: You’re not going to say it’s all from the director, are you?

[Laughter]

MF: I like collaborating and I like giving choice. I’m a big believer in if we’re going to do sixteen takes of something we may as well try everything in those sixteen times. If you’ve got the first one and the director says ‘that was great, let’s do it again,’ there’s no point doing it sixteen ways the same. As long as you’re not disrupting anyone else’s process, a) it should be fun, and as I said I have a low boredom threshold and I want to try everything out, but also I’ve got one eye on the edit for the director to give them choice. And I think it’s much better for the director, and I’ve heard this from many directors, it’s nice to choose that or that or—and they’re distinct, different flavours. As long as they’re part of the same story, it’s fine. I just want to give myself license to have fun and have freedom.

The other question being about the adaptations: Ian McKellen was very, very quite religious about having Tolkein on set all the time and he kept going back to the books. And I see the value in that definitely, and obviously we know how good Ian McKellen is and how fantastic Gandalf is, so that obviously has great value. But also I’m aware that we’re not strictly speaking doing—Tolkein’s not on set, I mean he hasn’t written the screenplay; the screenplay’s written by Philippa, Fran and Peter, and that’s what we’re actually dealing with. So beyond knowing—I like to know the source material definitely, but myself, rightly or wrongly, will probably be less referential to the source material than the screenplay because it’s the screenplay I’m actually doing. Thank you.

Q: When you’re looking at a script and trying to decide whether to take on a project, what sort of qualities in the script are likely to make you decide to go with something? What do you find compelling?

MF: I suppose tonally what I find interesting is if it doesn’t feel like it’s been written by a committee or it doesn’t feel like it’s been written to tick boxes but it feels authored, I suppose. If it feel like—whatever that voice is, if it feels like someone means it then that’s always good. Beyond that, then it’s just about whether someone can write. But there are plenty of scripts that I’ve really liked and some that I’ve done that are not you know they’re not Oscar Wilde in terms of grammar and they’re not beautifully written, but if they’re real and if they’re real as far as that writer is concerned I’m always interested in that. I like people who aren’t begging to be liked and I like scripts like that. Comedies that aren’t begging for your laughs but just set out their stall and if you like this great, if you don’t then fine.

BH: Have you got better at reading scripts?

MF: Yes I suppose I’ve got quicker, to be fair. Whether that means I’ve got better I don’t know, but I hope I haven’t got worse. Yeah I suppose you know your own process for when you read scripts. The old cliché is true: People read scripts wanting this to be their next thing. Every script that comes on to my laptop I hope I love this. So that’s why, with that in mind—it’s like when you see something really good, if I see say Fleabag, right. That looks to me—obviously it’s brilliantly written, brilliantly crafted as it turns out, but at first you just think this is someone writing whatever the hell she likes, just making up any old shit she wants to.

[Laughter]

Without much deference to the process or what should be in a programme; it’s someone’s imagination gone like that on a page. I like that; I like the boldness of that. That’s obviously not always going to work, but if you’re good and if you’re smart then it’ll work. I like people taking a bit of a punt, I suppose. And for me personally if a director or writer sends me something I haven’t played fifteen times before, that’s obviously something as well.

BH: Question this side, and then there.

Q: Hi, I’m a big fan of your theatre work and think you’re brilliant. I liked you in Richard III… My question is your acting is very much layered characters; how do you build up these characters. A script is paper but you build up someone who has a backstory and history, etcetera. What is your regular procedure to build up these characters? Thank you.

MF: My procedure would vary. For someone like Richard III I suppose that’s something that’s been performed lots and lots and lots over centuries so at the same time you’re trying not to just recreate someone else’s Richard III but you’re also aware there are parameters there if you know what I mean. There’s definitely a structure there that works so you should probably follow the structure. Generally speaking, like every actor does, just flesh it out make it three-dimensional. The page is absolutely one thing, and I think your job as an actor—I think my job is to elevate the material. And that sounds possibly very pretentious and presumptuous, but it is sort of your job. If the writing is very good, let’s—I mean what a noble hope to try and make it even better. That’s not by rewriting it but just by making it totally human and again as I say offering choice. At the same time I don’t believe in railroading a script or a scene and thinking ‘I’m just going to pull this and make it something else.’ It has to serve the story; I think if what you’re doing isn’t ultimately subject to the story and the point that the director and the writer want to make, it’s surplus to requirements. You have to kind of get out whatever individual creative thing you want to do and whatever show-offy bits that you want to do, but it has to serve the common thread I suppose. Sometimes you see someone’s pulling over here but the story is going over there but they want to show you how they can fucking juggle or something. And it’s like who cares? No one cares and they’re not serving the scene or the story. I don’t know, I like to yeah—I like to make things relatable and real. I don’t have—as you can see I don’t have a procedure. I wish I had a better answer.

BH: There was a question there, yep. And then we may have time for one more.

Q: Hi. I think you’re very inspirational and I really like your confidence and I think it’s something you really need to be an actor because I imagine it’s really tough. Do you have any advice for an aspiring young actor who wants to start a career hopefully?

MF: Is that you?

[Laughter]

Q: Yep.

MF: Well the only thing I did and the thing that I always feel is that I hope you love it, because you’ll need to because it’s hard. It’s hard to make a living at and it’s hard to even make a bad living at. It’s hard to just stay in poverty you know, because just to get this job and get that job, you know like if you even just get three jobs vaguely in a row that’s—you’re doing well, you know. I think love it, firstly; try and be good before you be anything else I would say. You seem like a sensible person, but yeah try and be good before you’re famous or try and be good before you’re well-known or anything. Because I think ultimately if no one else—and part of the reason we do what we do is to share it—but if no one else is ever going to see it or if no one else is going to be lucky enough to have this fortune; I am very lucky to have some of the public reaction to some of the things that I do, but say if that wasn’t going to happen, do I think I’ve done a good job? Do I think I’ve been good or do I think I’m improving? So I think attending to the craft side of it I find very important, I think. Having fun is important, not taking yourself too seriously is important, but I don’t know, having a thick skin is probably the thing. I don’t know. I joined Youth Theatre and then I was lucky enough to get into drama school, so that was my route in but not everyone has the same thing. If you want to act, find somewhere you’ll be able to act, whether it’s a local amateur dramatics company or a youth theatre or whatever, you know. Because that’s where you really find out if you want to do it rather than trying to get an agent and being famous. You better be doing it because you love it, because if you don’t love it it’s a terrible job.

[Laughter]

It’s a hard enough job if you do love it; it’s a cruel job sometimes if you love it. So make sure that connection is there before anything else I would say, and good luck.

BH: One final question. No pressure, make it a good one.

MF: Not you. Not these undercover midgets. Little people.

Q: You said that you leave work at work…

MF: I what sorry?

Q: You leave work at work. I was just wondering if there’s a part you’ve played that you felt was actually hard leaving it at work, not bringing it home with you or—

MF: There are plenty of things that I remind myself all the time or am reminded of the fact that I find a lot of it hard, as in I think ‘God I can’t do this very well.’ Just as I think ‘I’m quite good at acting, I’m quite good at this,’ there will usually be something that happens where I think this is completely eluding me and I’m not getting it at all. You forget how difficult on a day-to-day level it can be. Not as far as bringing stuff home with me, no; I never bring characters home with me ever because I’m not mad.

[Laughter]

I don’t think there’s any—there’s nothing good about bringing a character, you don’t get points—in my opinion, this is my school of thought, there’s no virtue in bringing a character home with you and treating your wife like a twat just because well I’m playing this. Oh good man, great. There are plenty of things that are hard because from a practitioner’s point of view you’re not getting, but not—no I’ve never found that thing about bringing… For me, the heavier the scene, the more emotionally hard the scene, I find humans—never mind actors—at some point in every funeral someone will laugh and find the joy in something. In the worst, worst, worst human situations they often actually they look for humour and laughter. So if I’m doing something quite heavy you can’t wait to laugh and all that. So that’s why I never bring heaviness home. I mean my kids will tell you—don’t talk to them—but were you to ask them—don’t ask them—

[Laughter]

I’m heavy enough anyway, I’m a fairly moody bastard anyway, so I don’t need that from work. I get made very happy by work and I get made deliriously happy by work but no, if I’m playing a real nasty, nasty manipulative person as I’ve occasionally done, I have never found that a problem at home. Because I’ve got enough of that in me anyway, do you know what I mean?

[Laughter]

There’s enough of that in all of us that you don’t need to rely on the excuse of playing a part like that because it’s all in you anyway, you know?

BH: We’re going to go and ask your kids now if that’s actually true.

MF: Don’t ask them anything!

BH: I am so sorry that we’ve run out of time. Thank you all for your questions and for being here, but most of all thank you so much Martin Freeman.

MF: Thank you so much. Appreciate it, thank you.

[Applause]

source:  http://www.bafta.org/whats-on/a-life-in-pictures-martin-freeman

[a7xlizardqueen]

Title: Your Knight in a Sweater Vest

Overall Rating: NC-17

Overall Warnings: Parental bullying, mentions of bulimia, nudity(?), drinking, partying, cursing, very slight mention of war and trauma, smut

Pairing: Reader x Steve Rogers

Summary: When you need help dealing with your rude and overbearing family, your best friend Steve Rogers comes to the rescue. Modern!AU - For  @barnesrogersvstheworld Writing Challenge Shot Through the Heart

Chapter: 1/10

Word Count: 1,638 words

Chapter Warnings: None

-X-X-X-

The bar was packed as you squeezed yourself through the crowd, searching for a group of familiar faces. It was Friday, which meant only one thing: meeting up with the guys at your favourite spot for beer and wings. Afterward you’d probably play pool and keep your eyes out for someone to hook up with.

“Yo, Y/N, over here!”

Sam is peering over the crowd, waving his hand in the air. He, Bucky, and Steve are already packed into a booth, a pitcher of Bud half empty.

“What, you guys start without me?” you ask, sliding on to the bench next to Steve.

“That’s what happens when you’re late,” Bucky scolds, sliding over a fresh glass.

“Dude, not even five minutes.”

“Five minutes is still late, Y/N.”

“I’ll remember that next time you’re late, James.”

“Now, now, children, settle down,” Steve smirks. "You're both late as often as the other."

You and Bucky smirk and he winks. Steve is always the peacekeeper between you two. Not that you don’t like each other, just the opposite, but you have kind of a love-hate relationship, as if you’re each other’s annoying sibling.

The waitress comes around, blonde girl with big tits. She smiles at all the guys, and ignores you. You’re used to it. Downside to being the only woman in a group of men. You order five-dozen wings, another pitcher, and a round of shots of Honey Jack.

“Kay, so, game at my place Sunday?” Sam asks.

“You got it, man,” Steve says and Bucky nods.

The shots come and before anything else is said you clink your glasses and shoot back the sweet, amber liquid.

“What ‘bout you, Y/N?”

You shake your head, “Sorry boys, no can do. Prior engagement.”

“Hot date?” Steve smirks.

“I wish,” you pause and take a large gulp of your beer to stall for a moment. The guys’ questioning faces don’t relent. “I’ve got a barbecue at my mother's house to go to.”

Their immediate reaction is to look concerned, quickly followed by angry.

“What the hell are you doing even talking to her?” Bucky’s brow furrows, “She treats you like shit.”

“She's my mother, Buck. Besides, it’s not so bad anymore.”

“I don’t believe you for one damn second, doll. You always make excuses for that family.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. Sam, Steve, and Bucky are quiet, unhappy with you.

“There’s something more isn’t there?” Steve asks.

You nod and whisper, “He’s back.”

“Who’s back, Percy’s back?!” Bucky’s fist hits the table with a thud.

“You mean that asshole that had you starving yourself?” Sam asks.

“That asshole who had you working out so hard you passed out and had to be rushed to the hospital?”

“He doesn’t want to get back together, does he?” Steve asks.

You shake your head and call the waitress over for another round of shots, doubles this time.

“No, he just wants to show off his new girlfriend and tell me how much better she is then me. And how much more successful he is then me.”

“Want us to come beat his ass?” Sam offers.

The wings arrive and you all dig in. You laugh and shake your head.

“No, that would be a seriously unfair fight.”

Bucky laughs, “Dude still skinny as shit?”

“You know it.”

“Never skip leg day!” Sam yells.

The tension of the previous minutes has lifted and your plight is ignored for a while as you watch a random soccer game on the TV and continue to stuff yourselves with beer and wings and whiskey. After another round you head over to an empty pool table, you and Steve against Bucky and Sam. As Bucky and Sam rack up the balls Steve hands you a cue and says quietly.

“Seriously, Y/N, if you want some back up, I’m there.”

You sigh, of course he would offer. Steve was one of those seriously good guys that always tried to do the right thing.

“And how would you help?”

He shrugs, “I dunno. But I could at least stick up for you. Be there to let everyone know how great you’re doing with your life.”

“Really, Steve, I don’t need a cheerleader.”

Steve smirks, “Damn, now what am I gonna do with my pom poms?”

“Y/N, your break!”

-X-X-X-

Friday night ended rather uneventfully. You drank more. You played pool. Did a bit of dancing. Went home. No one got lucky that night.

Sunday rolled around. It was a hot day so shorts were a must. You still had a hard time showing off your legs, especially around your family, but if you tried to cover up with pants you’d regret it. Besides, Sam was always telling you to show off the body you’d worked so hard for. He’d kill you if you told him you hid it away. You paired it with a thin white button up, rolling up the sleeves to your elbows. You knew your outfit wasn’t nearly as fancy or feminine as your mother’s or your sister’s surely would be, but you’d mostly abandoned the need for their approval by now, anyway. Mostly.

The look of utter disappointment was exactly what you’d expected, followed by the obligatory scolding for your tardiness. The tardiness was completely intentional, of course, the less time you spent with them the better.

Your mother and sister were visions of perfect beauty. Hair shiny, bouncy, not a flyaway in sight; and they were both wearing long flowing maxi dresses. It made your $5 bargain store shorts and shirt seem frumpy.

Then there was the ex, Percy. He wasn’t typically good looking. His face held too much expression, almost goofy, his eyes and lips large on his narrow face and his dark hair was unruly, sticking up in every direction. He wasn’t particularly tall, and had a thin body with just enough muscle to counteract any fat. But he had a certain charisma in the way he carried himself and the way he spoke that captivated people. It had certainly captivated you once.

His girlfriend was beautiful. Like a movie star from the 1950’s. She dressed like one too. And she was so damn nice that it was hard not to like her. Even though you tried, very hard.

You milled around the barbecue mostly, sipping your beer and trying to avoid conversation. You don’t often get what you want, though.

“Long time no see, Y/N, how ya been?” Your stepdad’s work associate asks as you try to slip quietly by to get yourself another beer.

“I’m fine, Geoff, how are you?” You answer politely, looking down at your empty bottle.

“Oh, just fantastic. Did your stepdad tell you we made a killing this year? Yeah, Jan and I are gonna take a trip to Hawaii to celebrate.”

And thus began the extremely exciting and titillating conversation of the world of insurance. Somehow the man was able to talk about the most boring subject in the world for an entire half hour. You zoned out after about five minutes and only came to when he finally asked you a question.

“What is it that you do again?”

Great, the question. Everyone always asks that question. Normally you wouldn’t care, you enjoy telling people what you do for a living. Just not this crowd.

“I’m a woodworker.”

“Oh. So what does that mean, exactly?”

“I build things out of wood. Furniture, sculptures, you name it. Some of what I make is my own design, whenever I get inspiration; a lot is custom building stuff. I also do antique restoration. And I teach yoga and self-defence at my buddy’s gym.”

“How interesting. And is there a lot of money in the woodworking business?”

“Probably not as much as in the insurance business,” you shrug and back away, “if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been empty for far too long.”

All these people ever talk about is money. They base their ideas of success on how much money can be made, not how happy something can make you, or someone else. Your favourite thing in the world is seeing the amazed looks on a client’s face when you bring their ideas to fruition, sometimes better than they could have imagined. But conveying that feeling to these vultures was impossible.

“Good to see you again, Y/N,” his voice interrupts you before you can even take five steps and you once again look down at your empty beer and sigh; you’re gonna have to upgrade to whiskey.

“Wish I could say the same for you, Percy,” you turn and paste a fake smile onto your face.

You don’t know why, but he still makes your stomach tie into knots every time you look at him. He broke your heart, and you got over it. You did. There isn’t a bone in your body that wants to revisit the lack of a relationship you had with this man for one year. And yet when you look at him, especially with her on his arm, you think about how long it’s been since a man has touched you. You think about how long it’s been since a man looked at you with desire in his eyes. You look at him and your body yearns, and aches for what could have been.

“You’re breaking my heart, babe,” he feigns pain with a hand over his heart.

“Oh, if only I could.”

“No date again?”

“Well, I didn’t want to make you jealous.”

“How kind of you.”

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell me you had a guest coming?” Your mother rushes over.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t worry, there’s plenty of food and beverages, but really Y/N, it’s quite rude. Please tell me next time so I can be prepared.”

“Mother, what are you talking about?”

“Hey, honey, sorry I’m late.”

[beebuddyreviews-blog]

Title: Black With Autumn Rain // Author: whimsicule (@whimsicule) // Rating: Teen & Up // Words: 93,468 // AU // Published: 03/10/16 // Completed: 01/16/17 

Official Summary:

“Thank you,” Geoff says, taking a sip of his tea. “What did you tell him?”

Louis has a sip as well, lets the tea burn down his throat too quickly, too hot, and he feel it all the way down to his stomach. “The truth. Essentially,” he replies after a moment, licking his lips, relishing the slightly bitter taste of the brew that’s never quite strong enough for Louis’ liking. At least it’s not decaf. “That my dog scented it. That I didn’t touch the body. That I came here first thing.”

Geoff nods pensively. “Did he believe you?”

“Probably not. There’s only so many people who can drown on dry land before it gets fishy.”

or: Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren't exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

Green’s Summary: Louis lives in a small town where everyone knows everyone - and everything. When someone begins murdering tourists, the small town garners more attention from police and journalists than they want – or need. Harry, a journalist, visits the town to investigate and write about the ongoing murders. Harry ends up becoming more involved in the investigation than he ever bargained for because of his history with Louis.

Review Under The Cut 

If you have been in the fandom for a while – and you read fic – then you’ll know Whimsicule as the author of Dead of July. Dead of July is an amazing work of fiction that features Harry as Captain America and Louis as the Winter Soldier. One of my favorite things about Dead of July was the growth that Whimsicule exhibited from the first chapter to the last. You could see her shaping her writing and applying new things  and it was brilliant. I really admire her dedication to long fanfictions that have a lot of character growth. Not everyone can pull that off, because it takes many paragraphs dedicated to the character’s thoughts and actions. You can’t steamroll everything with dialogue, the character has to go through phases. Whimsicule delivers this growth in a seemingly effortless and incredibly realistic way.

So I knew of Whimsicule when I started Black with Autumn Rain, and I am completely blown away. I literally finished the last pages at work because I could not wait until I got home to find out what happened. There is a reason this fic is so highly recommended. It is a truly amazing read and once I got to the exciting bits, I could not stop reading. I was pushing the limits of my ability to get my daughter and myself ready  in enough time to be on time for work for three days straight.  I will be honest and say that I did from some parts of the beginning very slow, but the story definitely picks up when Harry stumbles his way into it.

I have never read a murder mystery fic and I honestly believed I would not like to read a fic of that genre, but this fic delivers the murder mystery in a fresh way. The murders are not the most mysterious thing about the small town. I loved getting small pieces of the bigger picture in every chapter. It really felt like clues were revealed when they needed to be. Whimsicule knows when to keep you guessing and when to throw you a bone. When I realized that there was more going on than just murders I really tried to pay attention to every detail and map out on my own what I thought was happening. I was nowhere close to being on the right track. If you figured out the twist before it was revealed I need you to come talk to me because how did you see that coming? I am still speechless about the whole thing honestly. The twist is huge but when you get there, it makes so much sense! How did Whimsicule manage to create this fantasy world in a way where something like that just has you nodding your head and thinking man, I should have seen that sooner?

Louis, I could gush forever about this characterization of Louis. I wanted to hug him and tell him that he’d figure out what was going on soon enough, and I wanted to make him stop putting the blame for everything on himself. I think Louis is a vulnerable character that also exudes so much bravery and strength. You are constantly rooting for him, constantly wanting him to win, and wanting him to feel like he belongs. He had so much responsibility thrust on him from such an early age and he deserved a happy ending where he could make peace with himself and his decisions.

I love that both Harry and Louis were such likeable characters. Even when they were wrong, you still rooted for them. That speaks a lot for what Whimsicule is able to do with her character’s,  they are three-dimensional characters – with believable and realistic flaws. I loved Harry and I loved that his character was still strong and complex even when most of this story was delivered from Louis point of view. I loved how dedicated he was to helping Louis – not just to their relationship, but helping Louis figure out what was happening in the town and helping Louis figure out his role in all of it.

The minor characters are also very well written. Liam is a solid presence that is central to Louis’ character. Karen and Geoff are the warm parental figures the story needed, and I don’t think it would have as much heart if not for them. I loved how the author worked in Zayn and Niall. Zayn had no lines but I was still so excited to see him included in a fic. And can we talk about Puck? Puck is a national treasure honestly. He is honestly one of the most endearing pets I have ever read and his knowledge of Louis and when he needed affection just melted me.

This is a long review, but I could talk about this fic for hours. Whimsicule has this ability to make her writing really quiet. I would get so lost in the story and when I came out of it the world was too loud. The beginning of the story felt like the calm before the storm and then it got progressively louder as you figured out what was happening and why it was happening until you reached the climax of the story and her writing was practically screaming. It is an amazing quality to have as a writer and I was in complete awe in her delivery of every single scene of this fic.

I think she ended this fic in a nice way. It wraps up all the mystery and leaves you with less questions than when you started the fic and that’s important. I have a couple questions still, but nothing that’s going to haunt me, and I would list them if they weren’t spoilers. If Whimiscule reads this and wants to help a very curious reader out – I really would not mind a nice long chat. ☺ Also, the cigarette smoking scene. I was torn between screaming about them possibly getting hot ashes on each other and screaming about how I’ll never be able to think of a cigarette the same. I’m not going to spoil anything but wow.

Would you recommend this fic to Blue: I am a horrible person. Honestly, I told Blue the twist. I would still recommend it to her because it is so well written and because Whimsicule is able to back up every risk she takes and I really need someone to talk about this fic with. I think the fic is still good even knowing the twist. Whimiscule delivers an incredible array of emotion and provides so much insight into her characters; it feels as if they have been long time friends of hers.

I would recommend this fic to everyone and anyone, as long as they did not have an issue with minor gore. Please give this fic a shot if you have not read it. I have linked to the fic at the top of this post. As always, please leave comments and kudus for the author, because feedback is incredibly important. Thank you so much for reading this review. In addition, thank you Whimsicule for sharing your amazing talents with us.

Until next Sunday - Green <3

[themousai]

Q+A: Mammoth Penguins

Your new album 'There's No Fight We Both Can't Win' is out on April 26th and we've been loving the singles so far! I can't help but feel like it'll be the perfect Spring soundtrack. How does it feel finally being close to that release date? It feels amazing to finally be close to release. This album has been a long time in the making and we’ve been living with some of these songs, and playing them live, for a couple of years now. It feels great to finally be able to hand them over and let people get to know them properly. What was the making of the record like? Is your writing process collective or more individual? Generally, I will bring the bones of a new song, the words and the tune, to rehearsal and the three of us will bash it around, add a feel and a rhythm, and play with the structure. We’re still doing that now with some of the songs, which keeps things interesting when we play live. This album was super fun to make because we love going into the studio and getting Joe and Faith on board was exciting because it really broadened the sonic palette of the album. You're a band who isn't afraid to experiment, with your second release being an incredible conceptual album. What made you decide to go back to more of your original approach with this album? John Doe was always meant to be a side project. It was an idea we came up with on the way to play a show in Brighton, and we just ran with it. It was never a new direction we wanted to go in permanently, although it has had its influence on the sound of this album. It’s more subtle, but there is extra instrumentation in there that we wouldn’t have used on our first album. We also invited our friends Faith and Joe to play on the new album. They were both involved in performing the John Doe album live.

You just announced touring dates throughout the Summer, including a UK tour and Indietracks Festival in Derbyshire alongside the likes of The Spook School and Adult Mom, so tell us: who are you most looking forward to seeing at the festival? We’re looking forward to dancing to The Spook School one last time, and absolutely love Adult Mom and Peaness. It’s such a great line up this year, we could list all of the bands. Here are some of our personal picks: Mark: Kagoule, bis and Kero Kero Bonito. Tom: Kagoule, my friends and ex-band mates Jacqui and Geoff, and witching waves. Emma: L I P S, Athabaska, Common Or Garden, Kidsmoke Can you give us an idea of what we should expect from your upcoming UK tour? Expect loud, sing-along choruses. Most of the dates are after the album release, so you’ll have time to learn the words. :) Do you find it comforting hearing people relate to your lyrics? Is it ever hard for you to put your personal experiences out there for everybody to hear? Yes, it's really exciting when someone comes up and tells me they identified with the lyrics because it means what I've written has effectively communicated something. It means a lot. When I write songs, I'm not thinking about anyone else hearing them so it doesn't stop me at that point, and then by the time my bandmates ask me to play them, some of the emotion has faded, and then by the time the song has been arranged, recorded and played live, it has become its own thing that is separate from me. Lastly, what does Mammoth Penguins have in the works for the future? We’re currently putting all of our efforts into releasing and touring this album. The plan is to have some well-earned holidays at the end of the summer and regroup in the autumn. We’d love to go back to Europe, or travel to the US. But we’ll have to see what happens.

Quick Fire

The one song I wish I wrote is... Argh so many! I can't choose.

Three things I can’t live without are... Air, water and food.

Phones out, or phones away if you're watching a band live... Honestly, I don't mind, but it can be distracting if someone is filming for extended periods of time.

Three adjectives that describe my life are... Routine, occasionally hectic.

If I held a world record it would be for... How many people I know in different cities that I can stay with after gigs.

My first memory of loving music is... Sitting on a bed of hay in the boot of an estate car age maybe 6 years old writing silly songs with my friends.

The song of mine that I am the most proud of is… It's always the most recent one I've written!

My favourite venue I've ever played is… Ostpol in Dresden, Germany.

The ideal environment for me to create music in is… For writing songs, it would be at home alone or with my dog with an acoustic guitar. And for arranging songs, in a rehearsal room with my band mates.

If I could have any two bands open for me they would be… I don't think I could play after any band I love, but I'd love to be on the bill with Land of Talk and The Be Good Tanyas, because then I could see them live.

Disclaimer: all answers by Emma Kupa

Follow Mammoth Penguins on Social Media!

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Interview by Scarlett Dellow

[davidmann95]

Superman Starter Pack

First and most importantly, before we go into petty commercial concerns, let’s remember the meaning of the day I orginally posted this. Because friends, it was no ordinary day: it was Miracle Monday, the anniversary of Superman triumphing over no less than the biblical prince of darkness himself (or at least a respectable substitute), and it was so awesome that even though it was expunged from humanity’s collective consciousness, they still instinctively recognized the third Monday of May as a day of good cheer to be celebrated in Superman’s honor from now until the end of time.

I know I write plenty about Superman on here, but with as much as a pain as comics can be to get into, I’m sure at least some of those I’m lucky enough to have follow me haven’t been able to find an easy in for the character. Or maybe a follower-of-a-follower or friend-of-a-friend is looking for a reasonable place to start. So in the spirit of the season, I’ll toss on the (admittedly already pretty massive) pile of recommended starting points on Superman: ten stories in a recommended - but by no means strict - order that should, as a whole, give you a pretty decent idea of what Superman’s deal is and why you should care, all of which you should be able to find pretty easily on Comixology or a local bookstore/comic book shop.

1. Superman: Birthright

What it’s about: It’s his origin. He gets rocketed to Earth from the doomed planet Krypton, he gets raised by farmers, he puts on tights to fight crime, he meets Lois Lane and Lex Luthor, he deals with Kryptonite, all the standard-issue Superman business.

Why you should read it: It does all that stuff better than anyone else. He’s had a few different takes on his origins over the years due to a series of reboots, another of those tellings is even further down the list, but the first major modern one pretty much hit the nail on the head first try. It toes the tricky line of humanizing him without making you forget that hey, he’s Superman, it’s high-action fun without skimping on the character, and if there’s any one story that does the best job of conveying why you should look at an invincible man-god all but beyond sin or death with no major inciting incident in his background as a likable, relatable character, this is it. Add in some of the best Lane and Luthor material out there, and it’s a no-brainer.

Further recommendations if you liked it: About a decade before writing Birthright, its author Mark Waid worked with Alex Ross on what ended up one of DC’s biggest comics ever, Kingdom Come, the story of a brutal near-future of out-of-control superheroes that ultimately narrowed down to being about Superman above all else, and one of his most popular and influential stories of all time at that. Years after Birthright he created Irredeemable, the story of a Superman pastiche named Plutonian gone murderously rogue and how he reached his breaking point, illustrating a lot of what makes Superman special by way of contrast.

(Since Superman’s had so many notable homage/analogue/pastiche/rip-off/whatever-you-want-to-call-it characters compared to other superheroes, often in very good stories, there’ll be a number of those stories on this list.)

2. Superman: Up, Up and Away

What: Ever seen Superman Returns? That, but good. Clark Kent’s been living and loving a normal life as a reporter and husband after a cosmic dust-up in one of DC’s event comics took Superman off the board for a year, but mounting threats demand his return to save Metropolis again, if he still can.

Why: If you’d rather skip the origin, this is as a good a place as you’ll find to jump onboard. Clark and Lois both get some solid characterization, a number of classic villains have solid screentime, there’s some interesting Kryptonian mythology sticking its head in without being too intrusive, a great overarching threat to Metropolis, and it captures how Superman’s powers work in a visceral sense better than almost anything else. If you just want a classic, pick-it-up-and-go Fun Superman Story, this is where to go.

Recommendations: If you liked this, you’ll probably be inclined to enjoy the rest of co-writer Geoff Johns’ run on Action Comics, including most popularly Legion of Superheroes and Brainiac, both with artist Gary Frank. Another series tapping into that classic Superman feeling pretty well - regardless of whether you enjoyed the original show or not - is Smallville: Season 11, showing the adventures of that series’ young Clark Kent once he finally becomes Superman. Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason’s run on the main Superman title under the banner of DC Rebirth tried to maintain that feeling, properly introducing Jon Kent, Lois and Clark’s 10-year-old-son, as Superboy in what seems to be a permanent addition to the cast and mythology; your mileage on its success may vary, but Volume 2, Trials of the Super Sons, represents the best of it. And the current Superman work by Brian Bendis - beginning with his The Man Of Steel miniseries and spinning off into both Superman and Action Comics - while controversial, presents a very similar take on Superman to the one seen in Up, Up and Away and a similar sensibility, to very positive results.

3. Superman: Secret Identity

What: He’s Clark Kent, an aspiring writer from a farm town in Kansas. Problem is he’s only named after the other guy, an ordinary teenager who’s put up with crap his whole life for being named after a comic book character in an ordinary world. But when he suddenly finds himself far closer to his namesake than he ever would have imagined, it becomes the journey of his life to find how to really be a Superman.

Why: The best ‘realistic’ Superman story by a long shot, this doesn’t sideline its heart in favor of pseudo-science justifications for what he can do, or the sociopolitical impact of his existence. He has the powers, he wears the costume to save people (though he never directly reveals himself to the world), and in-between he lives his life and learns what it means to be a good man. It’s quiet and sweet and deeply human, and probably one of the two or three best Superman comics period.

Recommendations: If you like the low-key, pastoral aesthetic, you might enjoy Superman for All Seasons, or Supergirl: Being Super, and the one-shot Man and Superman by Marv Wolfman and Claudio Castellini has something of a similar down-to-Earth feel. I’d also recommend Jeff Loveness and Tom Grummet’s Glasses in Mysteries Of Love In Space. If you’d like more of writer Kurt Busiek’s work, his much-beloved series Astro City - focusing on a different perspective in the superhero-stuffed metropolis in every story - opens with A Dream of Flying, set from the point of view of the Superman-like Samaritan, telling of his quiet sorrow of never being to fly simply for its own sake in a world of dangers demanding his attention.

4. Of Thee I Sing

What: Gotham hitman Tommy Monaghan heads to the roof of Noonan’s bar for a smoke. Superman happens to be there at the time. They talk.

Why: A lot of people call this the best Superman story of the 90s, and they’re not wrong. Writer Garth Ennis doesn’t make any bones about hating the superhero genre in general (as evidenced by their treatment in the rest of Hitman), but he has a sincere soft spot for Superman as an ideal of what we - and specifically Americans - are supposed to be, and he pours it all out here in a story of what it means for Superman to fail, and why he remains Superman regardless. It sells the idea that an unrepentant killer - even one only targeting ‘bad guys’ like Tommy - would unabashedly consider Superman his hero, and that’s no small feat.

Recommendations: If you read Hitman #34 and love it but don’t intend to check out the rest of the series (why? It’s amazing), go ahead and read JLA/Hitman, a coda to the book showing the one time Tommy got caught up in the Justice League’s orbit, and what happens when Superman learns the truth about his profession, culminating in a scene that sums up What Superman Is All About better than maybe any other story. Tom King and Andy Kubert’s Superman: Up In The Sky, while not without blemish (there’s a rightly-controversial chapter involving Lois that precludes universal recommendation), is a similarly humane look at Superman and the clash of his iconic power and mortal limitations. If you appreciated the idea of a classically decent Superman in an indecent world, you might enjoy Al Ewing’s novel Gods of Manhattan (the middle of a loose pulp adventure trilogy with El Sombra and Pax Omega, which I’ve discussed in the past), starring Doc Savage and Superman analogue Doc Thunder warring with a fascistic new vigilante in a far different New York City.

5. Superman: Camelot Falls

What: On top of a number of other threats hitting Superman from all sides, he receives a prophecy from the wizard Arion, warning of a devastating future when mankind is faced with its ultimate threat; a threat it will be too weak to overcome due to Superman’s protection over the years, but will still only just barely survive without him. Will he abandon humanity to a new age of darkness, or try and fight fate to save them knowing it could lead to their ultimate extinction?

Why: From the writer of Secret Identity and co-writer of Up, Up and Away!, this is probably the best crack at the often-attempted “Would having Superman be around actually be a good thing for humanity in the long term?” story. Beyond having the courtesy of wrapping that idea up in a really solid adventure rather than having everyone solemnly ruminate for the better part of a year, it comes at it from an angle that doesn’t feel like cheating either logically or in terms of the characters, and it’s an extremely underrated gem.

Recommendations: For the same idea tackled in a very different way, there’s the much better-known Superman: Red Son, showing the hero he would have become growing up in the Soviet Union rather than the United States; going after similar ideas is the heartfelt Superman: Peace on Earth. The rest of Kurt Busiek’s time on the main Superman title was great too, even if this stood easily as the centerpiece; his other trades were Back In Action, Redemption, The Third Kryptonian, and Shadows Linger. Speaking of underrated gems, Gail Simone’s run on Action Comics from around the same time with John Byrne was also great, collected in Strange Attractors. And since the story opens with an excellent one-shot centered around his marriage to Lois, I have to recommend From Krypton With Love if you can track it down in Superman 80-Page Giant #2, and Thom Zahler’s fun Lois-and-Clark style webcomic Love and Capes.

6. Superman Adventures

What: A spinoff of Superman: The Animated Series, this quietly chugged along throughout the latter half of the 90s as the best of the Superman books at the time.

Why: Much as stories defining his character and world are important, the bread and butter of Superman is just regular old fun comics, and there’s no better place to go than here for fans of any and all ages. Almost all of its 66 issues were at least pretty fun, but by far most notable were two runs in particular - Scott McCloud, the guy who would go on to literally write the book on the entire medium in Understanding Comics, handled the first year, and Mark Millar prior to his breakout success wrote a number of incredibly charming and sincere Superman stories here, including arguably the best Luthor story in How Much Can One Man Hate?, and a full comic on every page in 22 Stories In A Single Bound.

Recommendations: Superman has an embarrassment of riches when it comes to runs of just plain fun comics. For the youngest in your family, Superman Family Adventures might just be what you’re looking for. Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the Eighth Grade would fit on your shelf very well next to Superman Adventures. Superman: Secret Origin, while not the absolute best take on his early days, has some real charm and would be an ideal introduction for younger readers that won’t talk down to them in the slightest, and that you’ll probably like yourself (especially since it seems to be the ‘canon’ Superman origin again). If you’re interested in something retro, The Superman Chronicles cover his earliest stories from the 30s and 40s, and Showcase Presents: Superman collects many of his most classic adventures from the height of his popularity in the 50s and 60s. Age of the Sentry and Alan Moore’s Supreme would also work well. For slightly older kids (i.e. middle school), they might get a kick out of Mark Millar and Lenil Yu’s Superior, or What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice, and the American Way? And finally, for just plain fun Superman runs, I can’t ignore the last year of Joe Casey’s much-overlooked time on The Adventures of Superman.

7. Superman vs. Lex Luthor

What: Exactly what it says on the tin: a collection of 12 Luthor stories from his first appearance to the early 21st century.

Why: Well, he’s Superman’s biggest enemy, that’s why, and even on his own is one of the best villains of all time. Thankfully, this is an exceptionally well-curated collection of his greatest hits; pouring through this should give you more than a good idea of what makes him tick.

Recommendations: While he has a number of great showings in Superman-centric comics, his two biggest solo acts outside of this would be Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo’s Luthor (originally titled Lex Luthor: Man of Steel) and Paul Cornell’s run on Action Comics, where Lex took over the book for about a year. Also, one of Superman’s best writers, Elliot S! Maggin, contributed a few stories here - he’s best known for his brilliant Superman novels Last Son of Krypton and the aforementioned Miracle Monday, and he wrote a number of other great tales I picked some highlights from in another article.

8. Grant Morrison’s Action Comics

What: Spanning years, it begins in a different version of Superman’s early days, where an as-yet-flightless Clark Kent in a t-shirt and jeans challenged corrupt politicians, grappling with the public’s reaction to its first superhero even as his first true menace approaches from the stars. Showing his growth over time into the hero he becomes, he slowly realizes that his life has been subtly influenced by an unseen but all-powerful threat, one that in the climax will set Superman’s greatest enemies’ against him in a battle not just for his life, but for all of reality.

Why: The New 52 period for Superman was a controversial one at best, and I’d be the last to deny it went down ill-advised roads and made outright bone-stupid decisions. But I hope if nothing else this run is evaluated in the long run the way it deserves; while the first arc is framed as something of a Superman origin story, it becomes clear quickly that this is about his life as a whole, and his journey from a cocksure young champion of the oppressed in way over his head, to a self-questioning godling unsure of the limits of his responsibilities as his powers increase, and finally an assured, unstoppable Superman fighting on the grandest cosmic scale possible against the same old bullies. It gives him a true character arc without undermining his essential Superman-ness, and by the end it’s a contender for the title of the biggest Superman story of all.

Recommendations: Most directly, Morrison did a one-off mini-sequel to this run in Sideways Annual #1, where he gets to give his creation of t-shirt Superman a proper sendoff after he was quickly retconned out of the main line. Outside of this, Greg Pak’s runs on Action Comics and Batman/Superman, and Tom Taylor/Robson Rocha’s 3-issue Batman/Superman stint, as well as Scott Snyder, Jim Lee and Dustin Nguyen’s blockbuster mini Superman Unchained, are the best of the New 52 era. If you’re looking for more wild cosmic Superman adventure stories, Grant Morrison’s Superman Beyond is a beautiful two-part adventure (it ties in to his event comic Final Crisis but largely works standalone), and Joe Casey’s Mr. Majestic was a largely great set of often trippy cosmic-scale adventure comics with its Superman-esque lead. For something a little more gonzo, maybe try the hilariously bizarre Coming of the Supermen by Neal Adams. And while his role in it is relatively minor, if we’re talking cosmic Superman-related epics, Jack Kirby’s Fourth World has to be mentioned - it’s soon being reisssued once again in omnibus format.

9. Superman: Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?

What: More than just the title story, DC issued a collection of all three of Watchmen writer Alan Moore’s Superman stories: For The Man Who Has Everything, where Superman finds himself trapped in his idea of his ideal life while Batman, Wonder Woman and Robin are in deadly danger in the real world, Jungle Line, where a deliriously ill and seemingly terminal Superman finds help in the most unexpected place, and Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?, Moore’s version of the final Superman story.

Why: Dark Superman stories are a tricky tightrope to walk - go too far and you invalidate the core his world is built around - but Moore’s pretty dang good at his job. Whatever Happened you should wait to read until you’ve checked out some Superman stories from the 1960s first since it’s very much meant as a contrast to those, but For The Man Who Has Everything is an interesting look at Superman’s basic alienation (especially in regards to his characterization in that period of his publication history) with a gangbuster final fight, and Jungle Line is a phenomenal Superman horror story that uncovers some of his rawest, most deeply buried fears.

Recommendations: There are precious few other dark Superman stories that can be considered any real successes outside a few mentioned among other recommendations; the closest I can think of is Superman: For Tomorrow, which poses some interesting questions framed by gorgeous art, but has a reach tremendously exceeding its grasp. Among similar characters though, there are some real winners; Moore’s own time on Miracleman was one of the first and still one of the most effective looks at what it would mean for a Superman-like being to exist in the real world, and the seminal novel Superfolks, while in many ways of its time, was tremendously and deservedly influential on generations of creators. Moore had another crack at the end of a Superman-like figure in his Majestic one-shot, and the Change or Die arc of Warren Ellis’ run on Stormwatch (all of which is worth reading) presented a powerful, bittersweet look at a superman’s attempt at truly changing the world for the better.

10. All-Star Superman

What: Superman rescues the first manned mission to the sun, sabotaged by Lex Luthor. His powers have reached greater heights than ever from the solar overexposure, but it’s more than his cells can handle: he’s dying, and Lex has won at last. This is what Superman does with his last year of life.

Why: I put this at the bottom since it works better the more you like Superman, but if you’re only going to read one story on this list, this one has to be it. It’s one of the best superhero stories period, and it’s everything that’s wistful and playful and sad and magical and wonderful about Superman in one book.

Recommendations: If you’re interested in the other great “Death of Superman” story, skip the 90s book and go to co-creator Jerry Siegel and Curt Swan’s 60s ‘Imaginary Story’, also one of the best Superman stories ever, and particularly one of Luthor’s best showings. If you got a kick out of the utopian ‘Superman fixes everything’ feel of a lot of it, try The Amazing Story of Superman-Red and Superman-Blue! The Supergirl run of Steve Orlando tries to operate on a pretty similar wavelength, and was definitely the best thing coming out of the Superman family of books at the time. The recent Adventures of Superman anthology series has a number of creators try and do their own ‘definitive’ Superman stories, often to great results. Help, ostensibly a Lex Luthor story by Jeff Loveness and David Williams in DC’s Beach Blanket Bad Guy’s Special, is in fact as feel-good a take on Superman’s relevancy as there is. And Avengers 34.1 starring Hyperion by Al Ewing and Dale Keown taps into All-Star’s sense of an elevated alien perspective paired with a deep well of humanity to different but still moving results.

[trade-baby-blues]

Supernova

Pairing: McKirk

Word Count: 1571

Warnings: Angst, major character death, can’t remember if there’s swears but it’s me so probably 

A/N: I saw a post awhile back that was something like...how Bones dealt with Jim’s death? How he probably checked up on him more and touched him more and I’ve been thinking about it since before I even had this blog so I just really needed to write it lol. Sorry it’s angsty. 

Like people, a star's death can be predicted by its pattern of life. If a star has enough mass after its birth, it will explode as a supernova when it dies, leaving nothing but debris and a black hole behind as it collapses back into itself. Leonard McCoy learned that at Starfleet, but never really understood it until Jocelyn left him and took Joanna with her, leaving him to cave in on himself.

He wandered empty for awhile, trying to fill the gaping hole in his chest with booze until he finally decided to join Starfleet. If he survived the shuttle ride there without having a heart attack, maybe he stood a chance of doing some good in the world again. Looking back, it was the best decision of Leonard’s life. It was how he met Jim.

James Tiberius Kirk was a force unlike any other. He was a star so blinding Leonard found it hard to look him in the eyes sometimes when they first became friends. They were just so warm and so damn blue. Leonard could get lost in them for hours. Leonard knew it was putting a lot on Jim, burying him in details about his divorce and the depression that followed, but for his part Jim was ecstatic to fill in the gaps Jocelyn left behind. He was excited to see Bones on any occasion, although Leonard was often less than happy to see Jim slinking into Medbay skull cracked with that stupid toothy grin on his face. Still, Bones couldn't help but grin himself while Jim recounted the details of whatever fight he’d been in this time.

Leonard McCoy was no stranger to death either. He was a doctor. Death came with the territory. It was always hard for him to lose a patient. The first patient he lost almost made him quit. He wasn't sure if he could keep doing it, but the same day a young girl had come up and thanked him for helping to fix her father’s back so they could play catch again. Every time Leonard thought of quitting, he pictured her family together again because of him. Even if he couldn't keep his own family together he could help others.

He adopted a gruff bedside manner too keep himself distant from patients. It quickly became the talk of most of the small town hospital in Georgia. Patients would come in from across the state to see him for his skills, and nurses would always warn them that Leonard was, well, less than tactful. Most of the time, patients appreciated his no-bullshit approach. Several patients, though, accused him of not caring, and he couldn't find the words to tell them exactly how much he cared. That it ripped his damn heart open every time he got a terminal case. That he’d taken more pro bono cases than he could afford. That he cared so damn much he felt like he was going mad sometimes.

So yes, Leonard McCoy was friends with death. He knew depression, and he liked to think he was strong enough for whatever life could throw at him, but absolutely nothing could have prepared him for Scotty grabbing his shoulder in the middle of the worst medical emergency the Enterprise had seen. Didn't he understand that Leonard had patients?

“Spit it out. I’ve got work to do,” Leonard said, exasperated. He’d been working nonstop for hours and he didn't have time to waste when Scotty couldn't even look him in the eye. He still didn't say anything, merely pointed to a bed with a body bag. That's when things clicked into place for Bones. That's when things started caving in.

Someone else unzipped the bag - his hands were shaking too much. He clenched them in fists at his side, setting his jaw and preparing himself for the worst but even the worst his mind could create wasn't as bad as seeing Jim lying supine on the table. At least someone had the decency to close his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that always twinkled with life. Leonard didn't think he’d survive seeing them go cold.

He stared at Jim longer than he should have, memorizing every line on his face, every wrinkle and pock mark he’d never noticed before. He catalogued it knowing full well he should have done it before. He should have known good things don't last around him. He was a sinking ship, crashing and burning. He was a black hole caving in.

When he fell into the chair at his research table, Leonard hardly believed it when the Tribble moved. Told himself it was a hallucination, the grief. But then it moved again. He grabbed his tools faster than ever, studying the creature’s vitals, heart hammering in his chest. When all the scans came back clear, Leonard laughed an honest to god, full belly laugh. He felt like he was going mad. He could do it. He could save Jim.

Putting him in the cryotube was hard, watching his skin go cold and waxy, hearing the empty flatline of the heart monitor all confirming that the last light in Leonard’s sky had gone out.

“But not for long,” he told himself as he dove into his work. It didn't take long to synthesize Khan’s blood into a treatment he thought could fix Jim. M’Benga had tried to stop him, but Leonard wouldn't listen.

“We don't know the risks,” Geoff implored, “It's unsafe, Bones.”

“Don't call me that,” Leonard snapped at him. “And damn the risks Geoff. The man’s already dead. What am I gonna do kill him twice?” With that, he took Jim out of cryofreeze, careful not to touch his skin or even look at him for too long, lest his resolve freeze along with Jim. He began the transfusion and prayed to every god he could think of.

When Jim finally opened his eyes, Leonard was still half convinced he was dreaming. He told Jim to stop being dramatic about something, but Leonard was on autopilot, eyes grazing over every inch of Jim’s body. He noted the waxiness of his skin, the sheen of sweat on Jim’s upper lip, the bags under his eyes - God those big blue eyes. Leonard had to excuse himself after scanning Jim, locking himself in his office as he began to shake. Sob after sob tore from his throat and he dug his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the tears.

Leonard didn't know how long it was before he managed to calm himself down, but as soon as he did he was on his feet, marching into Jim’s room. When he got in, Jim was sitting up, chatting to a nurse with the same toothy grin Leonard had dreamt about the whole time Jim was dead.

“Bones,” Jim called to him. Leonard’s chest tightened, but he stepped into the room, scanning Jim again wordlessly. “Come on, you scanned me 20 minutes ago.”

“Yeah, well given your track record I wouldn't be surprised if you hurt yourself sitting up.”

Jim laughed and Leonard wanted to live in the sound forever. “Glad to see even death didn't change you, Bones.” Leonard wasn't willing to admit to himself how much it actually had.

He checked in on Jim far too much, especially considering M’Benga kept trying to take him off the case. Leonard was too close to Jim and shouldn't have been working on him after the remedy worked, he knew that. Of course he knew that. That didn't mean Leonard could stay away, though. He tried at first, he really did - even went so far as going back to his office to take a nap. He woke up with a screaming, picturing Khan with his hands wrapped around Jim’s throat in the biobed, squeezing the life out of those blue eyes while the heart monitor beeped away until it faded into a flatline, a wordless droning that filled every inch of Leonard’s head as he sprinted out of his office back to Jim’s room. Leonard’s hands shook as he waved the tricorder over Jim’s sleeping figure. He pressed his fingers to the side of Jim’s wrist gently, not satisfied until he felt Jim’s pulse for himself.

After that, he checked on Jim at least once an hour, always with a physical exam. He put his fingers on Jim’s wrist to feel his pulse. A stethoscope under the cotton hospital gown to hear his heartbeat. Even when M’Benga cleared Jim to leave, Leonard insisted on giving him one last physical. Leonard told himself it was part of his own recovery, that the more he touched Jim the more he would believe he was actually real, but half a year later and they were on the Enterprise again, floating through deep space, and Leonard still gave Jim physicals. He was careful to bump knees with him in the conference room or squeeze Jim’s shoulder when they were in his quarters drinking. He still had nightmares about Jim dying, looking at him with glassy eyes that didn't see anything anymore. He could still feel the clammy, rubbery skin that came with death. Leonard had enough self control to wait until the next morning when these dreams woke him in the dead of night, but he’d almost always beat Jim to his chair the next day, tricorder out and waiting. Hands eager to feel the pulse that kept Leonard grounded.

Tags: 

I didn’t know who to tag since this wasn’t a reader insert?? Sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged just lmk I’ll take you off!

@outside-the-government (also i promise I’m still working on I Told You So pt 2 and I will post it one day. I have two ideas for it right now and I’m having trouble choosing between the two lol)

@martinawalker @thevalesofanduin @goingknowherewastaken @yourtropegirl @trekken81 @feelmyroarrrr @yukki-art @atari-writes @pabegay1

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

@youre-on-a-starship - “I’ve got to get my two cents in for this request event: Can you write a Bones fic in which he and the reader finally meet over a communal meal (a holiday perhaps?) and end up bonding because she’s got a rare medical condition that he’s interested in? I love your writing so much; I am unabashedly jealous of the realism you cultivate in your discussion of medical situations. It’s absolutely mind boggling and your writing is exceptional. Lots of love ❤️ ” I will also need to do a little research on this one, but the thoughts are flying fast already.

Word Count: 1892 Author’s Note: I found researching OI pretty interesting, and I definitely have a better idea about it now. I hope I did your request justice :) (And thanks for answering all my questions!)

“Y/N, were you in medbay today?” Your roommate, a nurse who would have known if you’d been hurt, asked as she came into your shared quarters.

“Obviously not,” you replied. “Why?”

“Bones was reading your chart. I thought maybe you’d gotten hurt,” she offered.

“Uhura to Y/L/N, are you free?” You dug your communicator from your hip and flipped it open.

“I’m kind of precariously balanced on the wire rungs of the J-tube, but sure, Nyota, what can I do for you?” You knew she would catch the sarcastic tone.

“I was just checking on you. Medical accessed your personnel file this morning, and I was worried that you’d had an accident,” she responded. “Back to work, before Scotty finds you goofing off!”

“Y/N, join me in my office,” Scotty gestured to a storage closet. It was the running gag, that he’d converted his actual office into a workshop of sorts. When he needed to have official conversations with any of the crew under his command, he’d pull you aside into a secluded corner, a closet or take you down to water reclamation, where it was so noisy, you were guaranteed privacy. You stepped in ahead of him and waited as he found the lights and shut the door behind himself. It was close quarters, and you arched your eyebrow when he started fidgeting with his hands. It was a lot closer than you were used to.

“Scotty, what’s up? Is it the repair on the -”

“No, no, nothing about your performance,” he cut you off. “Are you quite healthy right now?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you assured him.

“Your zero grav sessions are helping?” He pressed. Part of the reason you’d been assigned to a ship instead of grounded was because it was easier to access the therapy your body required to maintain health. As a toddler you’d been diagnosed with a mild form of Osteogenesis Imperfecta. There was a genetic treatment available, and your parents had taken advantage of that, which had strengthened your ability to create the collagen that was absent in OI patients, but you still needed regular physiotherapy to ensure adequate bone density. Space was a crapshoot because the artificial atmosphere meant there was constant real pressure on you and your bones, which was both emotionally and physically draining. But the opportunity to spend a half hour every evening weightless, floating in the safety of an empty cargo bay was one that you were unable to pass up. For a half hour, you were free, with no cares, no worries, no risk. And each session, somehow, for reasons you didn’t understand, strengthened what little collagen you did produce, making your bone density improve enough that you weren’t terrified of scampering up Jefferies tubes when necessary.

“Yeah, Scotty, life is good,” you confirmed. “What’s this about?”

“Doctor McCoy was down here asking questions. I know M’Benga did your intake physical. It made me wonder if you were declining and afraid of telling me,” Scotty explained. “You know you’re too valuable to let go, Y/N. Even if you need to be on light duties for a while, I will be keeping you here in engineering.”

“Really, I’m fine, Scotty,” you asserted. “I trust you. You’re the first person I’d tell if anything were up.”

“I’m not pulling your leg, lass,” he asserted. “If you need extra time away from shift for physiotherapy, or would like reduced duties -”

“Scotty, I’m fine,” you interrupted. “Really. I appreciate all your support. But there’s nothing any worse than usual happening.”

“I’m relieved to hear it,” he nodded, and suddenly realized how cramped the closet was. “Let’s be out of here before people assume the worst.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, and you winked as you walked out ahead of him, deliberately adjusting your skirt just to give him a hard time. He sucked in his breath to protest, and then coughed, drawing even more attention to you both. It was a good thing that everyone in engineering was used to Scotty’s unorthodox use of whatever space he could find. No one even blinked. “Are you headed to the Federation Day celebrations this afternoon?”

“If you think I’m going to pass up real food, you’re out of your mind,” you replied. “I saw the quartermaster’s delivery while I was fixing that malfunctioning door in the cargo bay. There were bananas. Real, perfect, honest-to-god yellow bananas. And I heard a rumour about steak.”

“We’ll see you later on then, Y/N. Save some bananas for me,” Scotty laughed.

You were standing in the buffet line, banana in your hand, waiting for your steak to come off the grill, when you noticed Doctor McCoy staring at you. He wasn’t even embarrassed enough to look away when you caught him. So you decided to stare back. It was the most uncomfortable thing you’d ever done, not breaking eye contact with him. He was too far away for you to tell exactly what colour his eyes were, but they were dark, and transfixed you. You had already noticed the broad shoulders, and you knew from seeing him around the ship that he was tall. His perpetual scowl didn’t scare you, but his eyes were starting to unsettle you. Because he just kept staring. No real emotion there, just appraisal and interest.

The steak being flopped on your plate pulled your attention back to the cook. “Thanks,” you nodded, and snuck a peek back in the direction of the CMO. He was still watching you. You stumbled, tripping over your own foot, as you headed toward the baked potato bar, and out of the corner of your eye you saw him lurch to his feet. Curious. You regained your footing and continued through the flow of the buffet line, finally free from the queue, You didn’t need to look at the damned man to know he was still watching you. He’d been clutching the table since your near-miss.

You locked eyes with him again, and grabbed cutlery from a basket without slowing down on your way over to him.

“Doctor McCoy.” Your tone was confrontational. “Would you mind explaining yourself?” You slammed your tray down across from him, and slipped into the chair, all grace despite the simmering rage.

“I’m not sure what you mean?” He asked. “I’m just a man trying to eat a steak, Lieutenant?”

“Y/L/N. Don’t even try to act like you don’t know exactly who I am. You’ve been creeping around looking into my medical and personnel records, and harassing Scotty with your nonsense for weeks now,” you accused, cutting into your steak with a vicious aggression that wasn’t necessary for the tender meat. McCoy’s scowl turned into a smirk. He gestured for you to sit in the chair you’d taken.

“By all means, join me for a meal.” His tone was dry and in any other circumstance, you might have found it appealing. “And I supposed you’re going to tell me you couldn’t possibly imagine why I’d be checking your records?”

“I’m sure it has to do with my OI. But quite frankly, sir, Starfleet didn’t have a problem with me enlisting, or taking officer training. They didn’t have any concerns when they assigned me to the Enterprise. So I’m not sure why I beg notice, all of a sudden. I mean, given the shit we’ve encountered on this tour, I shouldn’t even merit the highlight reel.” You weren’t trying to downplay your condition, just make him understand the weird concern was, in fact, weird. “I mean, I’m not even on your service. Geoff is my doc.”

“Regardless of who did your intake, Y/N, I’m the CMO. That makes you one of my patients. And you’re my first OI patient, and there’s a lot of conflicting information about your disease.” You’d heard he was the best doctor in Starfleet. “So I did some investigating, and looked at your history prior to the Enterprise, and then your records since coming aboard. You’ve had a 26% decrease in injury. I was curious as to whether it’s because of the anti-grav sessions, or if Scotty was giving you reduced risk assignments. But he tells me you’re the biggest daredevil in that lot of maniacs.”

“When you spend your childhood in and out of hospital, you develop a carpe diem attitude,” you shrugged.

“I pulled your replicator records -”

“You what?” You laughed in surprise.

“Of course I did. I was making a study of your disease and how you manage it,” McCoy looked confused, like he thought you were strange for thinking it was funny. “I noticed you still drink coffee, and you take it black. Nothing to even sweeten it.”

“So?”

“Well, there’s some studies that show -”

“Maybe for people with more severe disease, but mine is relatively mild. And I had the COL1A1 gene therapy as a child and again as a teenager, which further strengthened my system,” you interrupted. “In fact, if you look at my records again, with my permission this time, you’ll see that since my second course of COL1A1 gene therapy, I’ve only had three fractures.”

McCoy’s frown turned into a lazy smile and your breath caught. Damn. He was sexy. You shouldn’t have sat down to confront him. “One of them was a fracture of your femur,” he countered.

“That was still before I joined Starfleet. Starfleet knew and let me in,” you argued. His expression changed again, like he’d suddenly remembered he’d left the stove on or something. His eyes grew wide and and then he sighed heavily, and looked down at his plate. After a moment of silence, he looked back at you, his hazel eyes contrite.

“You think I’m going to try to send you back.” It was a question.

“You’ve spent nearly a month sneaking around, rifling through my records and have never thought to sit down and have a chat with me,” you nodded. “Of course that’s what I think.”

“Scotty would kill me,” he shrugged. “But moreso, there’s no real reason to send you back. I agree with the findings of Headquarters. You are eligible for service, you are competent to serve, and you are best served in return by being onboard a starship.”

“Then why all the cloak and dagger?” You asked, completely confused. He shrugged and shook his head.

“It wasn’t, really,” he denied.

“Right.” You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your coffee.

“Dammit, kid, I have a right, as your CMO, to diligently investigate all crewmembers to ensure their needs can be met on this ship,” he positively growled. You sighed and lifted your cup. “Is that coffee? At this hour?”

“I already told you, I can have caffeine,” you protested. You looked at him again and saw some humour behind his eyes, forcing you to reassess him as less of a grump than you’d initially thought.  “And I like it how I like my men. Tall. And bitter. And all hours of the night.”

“Come on now, darlin’. You shouldn’t be flirting with your doctor.” He quirked an eyebrow, and a lazy smirk lifted one side of his mouth. You took a bite of your steak, and raised your own eyebrow in return.

“And I already told you, Geoff’s my doctor.” With a wink, you went back to your steak.

[myyearofgivingdaily]

Pink Friday

Today’s donations: The Pink Fund and Pink Aid

If you know me, you know that I know far more about breast cancer than I wish I knew. But I also know that knowledge about breast cancer, and cancer in general, is vastly incomplete and constantly, and often rapidly, and radically changing.

So it was with great fascination that I read a recent New Yorker story by Pulitzer Prize-winning medical historian/philosopher Siddhartha Mukherjee (author of “The Emperor of Maladies”) exploring new thinking in the oncology world. Check it out here. It’s a great read. It has to do with mussels in Lake Michigan. It has to do with seeds and soil. It has to do with… well, read it.

But here’s the crux of it: Mussels originating as a rather innocuous presence in the Black Sea, dumped in bilge water by Ukrainian ships a few decades ago, have dominated destructively in Lake Michigan but not so much elsewhere. Similarly for the plant know as Japanese knotweed, it’s of no great concern in its land of origin, but has wreaked havoc to native species and various crops in England. And, so it seems to be with cancer, where, for example, metastasized breast cancer cells regularly take hold in livers, brains and bones, but not so much in other organs.  Not to mention that larger not so much in some people at all.

Standard treatment has been to blast the invading forces, which is what cancer is to some extent. But maybe we could learn more about why cancer fails in some places, what keeps it from taking hold, and work with the “soil,” so to speak, to make it less hospitable. Maybe we need to explore not just cancer, but the ecology of cancer — “Once we think of diseases as ecosystems,” Mukherjee writes, “then, we are obliged to ask why someone didn’t get sick.” And by “we,” I mean scientists who do this stuff. So not really we, or at least not me.

“Cancers, like mussels, proliferate in congenial habitats, and, like mussels, they can create microenvironments that help them resist predators,” he writes. “Seed therapies kill cells—something like spraying a lake with a mussel poison. Soil therapies, by contrast, change the habitat.”

This is truly holistic medicine, not in the New Agey woohoo-ness the term has come to hold — the “patchouli-scented catchall for untested folk remedies,” as Mukherjee puts it — but rather the treatment of a whole person.

And maybe the same thinking needs to go more for the whole whole person when it comes to other aspects of being a cancer patient, the day-to-day life and the impact beyond chemo side-effects into other side-effects. One major aspect is financial. We tend to focus on insurance coverage, the costs of treatment, and overlook the other impacts, such as inability to work, pay non-medical bills, provide for families and such. That’s where Pink Aid and the Pink Fund have been focused.

The Pink Fund distributed $671,000 via 611 grants in fiscal year 2016-17 — with a total of 1568 grants in the decade since the Michigan-based organization was founded. More than half of the money last year covered housing costs, with the rest going for transportation, utilities and a small part for insurance. The Pink Fund cites statistics showing that 20-to-30 percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer will lose their jobs, and 10 million at any time are unable to cover rent, food and utilities. And that financial peril can, in turn, impact health and treatment both directly and indirectly via stress and depression, as if that’s not rough enough without having to worry about paying bills. The group recently conducted a study of the financial impact on patients and the results are shocking:

- 47 percent of women are using their retirement account to pay for out of pocket expenses and 26 percent are paying with their credit card. - 73 percent of patients considered altering or skipping their medication or treatment to save money – and 41 percent actually acted on it. - 37 percent are still in debt – and 23 percent nearly went broke. - 36 percent reported losing their job or being unable to work due to a disability caused by treatment.

Pink Aid shares the mission, as it states on its site:

“When a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer, she needs a lot more than medical help. She needs rides to and from treatments, babysitting, grocery delivery, medical navigation, wigs, recovery garments and so much more.”

To address this, it supports local clinics and community organizations providing services in Connecticut and Long Island, and also via its Pink Purse program makes emergency assistance grants to individuals in need.

I spotlighted the Pink Fund and my personal connections to the subject two years ago in this space (read it here), but it it more than deserving or another boost, and via a matching fund of $65,000, donations to the Pink Fund are being doubled through the end of the year. Pink Aid, of which I’ve learned more recently, is also deserving support for its community contributions. Both hold various events to raise funds and awareness — Pink Aid’s annual luncheons and fashion shows, the Pink Fund’s “Dancing With the Survivors” galas. But the needs are greater than can be covered by those things alone.

It’s all about treating the person, not the disease, as Mukherjee concludes his investigation, “not what you have, but what you are.” And that goes beyond the medical aspect. Doing it will take some mussel. Er, muscle. Or both.

- Steve Hochman

About this blog: 
Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily, was started in 2013 by entertainment and culture journalist Melinda Newman, who made daily donations to a wide variety of non-profits and wrote about her experience. USA Today music writer, Brian Mansfield took on this monumental task in 2014. Since then, various writers have taken turns with stints, as the effort comes to a close at the end of 2017.  

About Steve Hochman: Steve has covered popular, and unpopular, music for more than 32 years, most of that time as a key member of the Los Angeles Times’ music team. He is currently music critic for Pasadena station KPCC’s morning magazine “Take Two” and a regular contributor to BuzzBandsLA and to his own Make Mine Baconwrapped blog. He hosts interview-and-performance sessions at the Grammy Museum in Los Angeles and at New Orleans’ annual Jazz and Heritage Festival. His byline has appeared in an array of major publications, including Rolling Stone, Billboard and Entertainment Weekly and New Orleans’ Offbeat and he’s written liner notes for a range of projects, from an elaborate book in Disney’s award-winning box set of music from the Howard Ashman-Alan Menken animated musicals to reissues of Emerson, Lake and Palmer’s first four albums. He’s thrilled to be sharing this month’s C&E with Geoff Mayfield.

[flauntpage]

Your Wednesday Morning Roundup

The Phillies won’t finish the season with 100 losses. Another small good thing in a pretty bad season.

They defeated the Washington Nationals 4-1 thanks to a two-run double by Cameron Rupp in the third inning. Starter Jake Thompson had a strong outing, going five innings and giving up one run on four hits while striking out five. The Phillies’ bullpen struck out nine in four innings of work.

Record-wise, this season was worse than last year’s 71-91 record, but there have been plenty of bright spots to show the near future. Ever since the arrival of Nick Williams in July, the team has started to become somewhat watchable. Will this change in 2018? I hope. But there’s still plenty of work that needs to be done.

Phils and Nats go at it one final time in 2017 tonight at 7:05. Mark Leiter Jr. goes for Philadelphia, while Tanner Roark opposes him for Washington.

The Roundup:

The best thing I read yesterday was Philly.com’s wonderful article of the oral history of the 2007 Phillies’ regular season finale.

Aaron Nola’s numbers have quietly been some of the best in baseball, from Ryan Lawrence of Philly Voice:

The fact that we’re in the final week of the 2017 season and talking about where Nola ranks among baseball’s best pitchers is somewhat remarkable given where we were a year ago, or even just six months ago with the 24-year-old right-hander. Nola missed the final two months of the 2016 season with an elbow injury and no one was still quite sure what to expect when he began making regular turns in the Grapefruit League back in March.

It’s safe to say Nola has quieted the pessimistic critics. And it’s also fair to say that Mackanin has been more than pleased to have a pitcher like Nola slotted anywhere in his rotation going into 2018.

While Rhys Hoskins is in a home run drought, Nick Williams is currently in a hit drought.

—

The Eagles brought back a familiar face in Kenjon Barner to replace Darren Sproles on a one-year deal. Barner recorded 129 rushing yards, 42 receiving yards, and two rushing touchdowns in 13 games with the Eagles last season.

Even without Sproles in the mix, the team can still have a diversified running game.

ESPN’s Tim McManus writes about Doug Pederson’s two analytics assistants that help him decide whether or not to go for it on fourth down:

Pederson named one of them at his day-after news conference — coaching assistant/linebackers coach Ryan Paganetti, a Dartmouth grad with a degree in Economics who spent two years as an analyst for the team. Offensive coordinator Frank Reich told ESPN there is a second voice that can be heard over the game-day communications system when it comes to such matters — director of football compliance Jon Ferrari.

The pair weighs in throughout the game, Reich said: after just about every touchdown on whether to go for one or two; during the final two minutes of each half to discuss timeouts, etc.; and when the team gets into what is considered fourth-down territory — usually around midfield and beyond. Sometimes Pederson initiates the dialogue; other times, the men upstairs do.

Carson Wentz now owes Jake Elliott a game check. But he may have worked out an alternative:

Well that escalated quickly…

but don't worry, @jake_elliott22 and I got this worked out…

— Carson Wentz (@cj_wentz) September 27, 2017

An Eagles fan claims Giants wide receiver Brandon Marshall spat at his face.

—

After losing in overtime at MSG on Monday, the Flyers won the second leg of a home-and-home against the New York Rangers 4-3. Travis Konecny had the game-winner in the extra session.

It was Sam Morin’s turn to be the top young defenseman. The former first round pick scored the Flyers’ first goal and had a team-high four hits.

“I really don’t put pressure on myself. I know I belong here,” said Morin, a first-round selection (11th overall) in the 2013 draft. “I think I’m ready for the NHL, to be honest. I just have to keep working hard and show those guys I can make it.”

With the Flyers in a 2-0 deficit, Claude Giroux  — who again played left wing on Sean Couturier’s line — raced into the right circle, pirouetted, and dropped a pass to the on-charging Morin in the high slot. The big defenseman put a wrist shot behind Pavelec with 1:24 remaining in the first.

“I just saw ‘G’ had the puck and when he has the puck you have to be ready for the pass,” said Morin, who barely missed scoring a second goal when his backhander from the doorstep went wide midway through the third period. “I was coming from the bench and I just shot the puck toward the net and sometimes the puck goes in.”

Is Morin behind his fellow 2013 draft counterparts in terms of development?

Sam Carchidi is not a fan of protesting the National Anthem.

After spending a couple years in the AHL and some limited experience in the NHL, Jordan Weal is part of the young Flyers core.

Make no mistake, Weal was a darling of the Flyers fan base last season. They wanted him to make the team out of training camp. But the coaching staff thought Weal left a lot of meat on the bone in camp a year ago.

“He’s earned [his spot this season] and he’s kind of earned it the old-fashioned way,” coach Dave Hakstol said. “He spent more than a couple years in the AHL. The reality is he probably didn’t have the type of camp that he had hoped last year, but he went to Lehigh and earned it.

“He was arguably the best player in that league for several months. He’s earned the opportunity to be in a different spot [this year]. He works at his game and competes really hard. Right now, like any player, he’s working to get his game to a regular season level a week from now – and he’s earned that.”

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The Sixers officially opened up training camp in Camden. After practice, head coach Brett Brown said he wants the team to make the playoffs:

“As I said to the group, our goal is to make the playoffs,” Brown said. “There are several other teams … they are in a room saying something similar. So to me, let’s talk about what that really means.”

The fifth-year head coach was speaking in terms of what his team needs to do to make a playoff berth possible. That’s understandable. But before Tuesday, Brown spoke of the challenges that will come with starting two rookie ballhandlers in Ben Simmons and Markelle Fultz. He never publicly mentioned trying to make the playoffs. Simmons and Fultz have done a great job of that, while Brown and the Sixers’ front office downplayed the heightened expectations.

Brown still loves Joel Embiid, who won’t participate in 5-of-5 drills throughout camp.

There’s two Okafors at camp this season, but they’re not related. Former first round pick Emeka Okafor is trying to return to the NBA after a four-year absence:

“Being back in this environment, being back in the NBA umbrella, with the guys, the team, talking to the press, just feels so good,” Okafor said Monday. “It feels like putting on a suit that’s always been the right fit, or your favorite pair of jeans, however you want to put it. It just feels very, very natural.”

Why, if something feels so right, would he wait so long to come back? The timing wasn’t right and he wanted to continue rehabbing in a way that would promote longevity.

“Making sure I was healthy and strong and ready to come back and play the way I wanted to play,” Okafor said.

What starting lineups may or may not work for the Sixers this season?

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Logan Marchi and Frank Nutile will battle for the starting quarterback job this week, according to Temple head coach Geoff Collins.

Villanova head coach Jay Wright reflects on his time with the late Rollie Massimino.

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In other sports news, 10 people involved in college basketball, including four assistant coaches and a senior executive at Adidas, are facing federal bribery, fraud, and corruption charges in what could be the start of something big. And maybe the end of Rick Pitino at Louisville.

Researchers at Boston University may have a biomarker to help diagnose CTE while people are living:

In a study published Tuesday in the journal PLOS ONE, the researchers found that the biomarker, the protein CCL11, might also help distinguish CTE from Alzheimer’s disease, which often presents with symptoms similar to CTE and also can be definitively diagnosed only postmortem. The ability to diagnose CTE in the living would allow not only for the development of possible therapies to treat the disease, but also for research into prevention.

“This is a step forward from our knowledge gained in understanding CTE from brain donations,” says study senior author Ann McKee, a MED professor of neurology and pathology, director of BU’s CTE Center, and chief of neuropathology at VABHS. “It’s a hopeful step. The whole point is to understand as much as we can from the individuals who’ve fallen, so we can apply it to our future veterans and athletes.”

Dwyane Wade is expected to reunite with LeBron James in Cleveland once he clears waivers today.

DirecTV is allowing some subscribers to cancel their Sunday Ticket packages because of the National Anthem protests.

It might reach hockey as well, as Joel Ward, a Canadian, may take a knee during the National Anthem:

“It’s definitely something I wouldn’t cross out,” Ward said when asked by the Mercury News whether he’d consider taking a knee during the national anthem at an upcoming Sharks game.

“I’ve experienced a lot of racism myself in hockey and on a day-to-day occurrence. I haven’t really sat down to think about it too much yet, but I definitely wouldn’t say no to it.”

Deadspin did a feature on Raiders superfan Dr. Death and why he’s giving up on football if the Raiders move to Las Vegas.

Ric Flair claims he’s slept with around 10,000 women in his life in his 30 for 30 documentary. He now regrets saying that.

Huh:

From Michael Beasley podcast…we debated & disagreed about this (& much more) for at least 15 min. WHO IS RIGHT? https://t.co/2Bess1WpN2 http://pic.twitter.com/VrnggG7Bk1

— Taylor Rooks (@TaylorRooks) September 26, 2017

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In the news, Twitter is expanding their character limit from 140 to 280 and it already sucks:

This is a small change, but a big move for us. 140 was an arbitrary choice based on the 160 character SMS limit. Proud of how thoughtful the team has been in solving a real problem people have when trying to tweet. And at the same time maintaining our brevity, speed, and essence! https://t.co/TuHj51MsTu

— jack (@jack) September 26, 2017

The Saudi king has lifted a ban on women drivers.

A teen is dead and three others are injured in Germantown.

The Commerce Department is slapping a tariff on Canadian planemaker Bombardier.

Aerosmith is cancelling the rest of their South American tour after singer Steven Tyler suffered “unexpected medical issues.”

Dave Roberts on CBS tonight will feel really weird:

. @VittoriaWoodill talks to @David_Boreanaz and local favorite Dave Roberts Wednesday at 11 after @SEALTeamCBS #mustseeTV ONLY ON #CBS3 http://pic.twitter.com/W8X6TRFyi8

— CBS Philly (@CBSPhilly) September 26, 2017

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