#but like HE'S SO HOT IN THE ASCENSION ART

[romance-rambles]

questionable decisions were made

[i am 30 paints poorer now]

i regret nothing until summer kicks in

[meanbossart]

I gotta ask this has been rattling in my brain for a while.

How did your DU drow react when Astarion asked him for help with the ritual? What were his thoughts? Or was he simply like stop it, no, we aren't doing that. OH, How did you picture your Astarion and DU Drow react after he "died" and was brought back? I know that we don't really get that much dialogue or reaction from the companions when that happens (Praying they add something later down the line in another patch)

Again thank you for sharing your beautiful art and fanfic with all of us its so refreshing to see!!! :)

OHOHOHO I'm glad you asked. I feel like that first question is very revealing of DU drow's character and It was a fun moment to ponder upon, because I think much of his behavior might lead one to believe he would be willing to go along with whatever Astarion wants, instead of pushing back at all, at least on the surface.

There's two factors at play here - first, DU drow knows of his heritage at that point, and thanks to the blank-slate treatment of the tadpole he's gotten a brand new perspective on it by the time he learns of the truth. Prior to losing his memories, accepting the fate that Bhaal had bestowed onto him felt like a choice and the best thing that ever happened to him in life, a confirmation that he was special and destined for greatness instead of just damned to the lowly existence he had endured so far. After his brain is scrambled however, DU drow got a taste of what true freedom feels like while unburdened by his upbringing; he's strong, he's powerful, he's self-sufficient, he enjoys the fruits of his labor without appreciating what got him here - he does not feel like he needs Bhaal, and the fact he ever did is laughable at best and violating at worse. This leads him to abhor the idea of depending on higher power to succeed instead of just raising oneself up by their own merits, or abiding by any mentality where you take orders from a source.

So when Astarion speaks of ascension, and especially after he learns of the source of that power (Infernal magic) he's disillusioned by it. While his memories are still hazy, the situation still feels awfully familiar to him. He doesn't think Astarion needs that higher power because he doesn't, either, and to take it would surrendering to fear and giving away even more of his autonomy than he already has.

And if that sounds a little self centered and like he's missing some of the point, it's because he is. While DU drow has fallen in love with Astarion by that stage in the story and wants what's best for him (he actually entertains the idea of him ascending up to a point - he wants him to be happy) he still has a difficult time empathizing with others. Ascending feels like a bad choice, but he can only justify that feeling from his own, narrow perspective.

(I mused on about characterization for too long again. So more under the cut - the sky is blue the sun is hot etc.)

Then there's the uglier, far more vulnerable and knee-jerk reaction to it. Now that Bhaal is no longer his purpose in life or the gift he once felt it to be, Astarion has taken it's place. Bhaal needed DU drow, in his eyes, much like Astarion does now. And as much as the vampire might have told him that his feelings on the matter changed (and that he was no longer manipulating DU drow for his own ends alone) he can't fathom a reason to be kept around unless he continues to be needed. He has slotted himself as Astarion's protector and devotee, and a vampire lord does not sound like they need much of either.

As much as he would never admit to it, DU drow does not know a life where he doesn't pledge himself, body and soul, to another purpose. He seems like he's happy to barrel through life directionless, but he needs something that anchors him or he has an inexplicable feeling that something terrible will happen. And honestly, maybe he's right - for a man who loves killing, he has a much easier time applying some strategy to that desire as long as he's doing it to some an specific end. Without Astarion, he probably feels like his choices are to either submit to his hedonism entirely or just lie down and die.

I don't need to spell out that this is pure codependency at it's finest.

So, when Astarion asks for help to complete the ritual he is conflicted. He wants to do whatever Astarion wants, but his brain is setting off alarm bells that, if he acquiesces, this will be the end for them and for him. And whatever comes after is a terrifying void of nothing. While he loves Astarion and ultimately does the right choice in pleading with him to give up on this power, his motivations are far from selfless or pure, as much as DU drow may not yet realize it.

This is why, after everything takes place, and specially once he severs his connection to Bhaal and his mind clears a little further, DU drow would go on to grapple with a lot of guilt for taking this opportunity away from Astarion, as I have touched on in the fic and will continue to do so. He's happy to feel like he has a reason to be kept around, but the inevitable hurdles that Astarion must continue to face as a spawn are obviously painful to witness. This is why he dives full force into trying to "fix" his vampirism instead, following that.

NOW, FOR THE NEXT AND HOPEFULLY FAR BRIEFER ANSWER TO YOUR OTHER QUESTION (spoiler alert, it's not brief at all, god damn it):

Yeah everyone just standing around in that scene feels little weird LOL not that it took away too much from how dope a cutscene it was (I probably watched it with the attentiveness of a sport's fan witnessing a footbal game turning in the last 10 minutes of a match) but If I were to embellish it instead of just going with something like "everyone is shell-shocked and paralyzed", I would say Shadowheart is the first to rush over to see if there's anything at all she can do to help, and probably the first (and only, in that moment) to break down crying. I think she very quickly composes herself after he's brought back, tells him he gave her the scare of a fucking lifetime and that he's the luckiest idiot in all of the realms - but that she's glad he's back. No hugs for him though LOL

Astarion is pretty much the opposite, that he would stand there in shock feels kind of apt to me. Like, holy shit, what just happened? Did one of the only good things in my life really just get taken away in the blink of an eye? Am I just cursed to have everything snatched away from my hand as soon as I'm growing comfortable with it? Yes, of course I am. What else did I expect. When DU drow pops back up he's probably like "Oh yeah I knew it'd be fine" (plus the little Twee comment, that was very funny to me.) and DU drow is similarly going "Oh definitely, it was my plan all along to be killed and then resurrected by an ominous house-keeper skeleton this whole time. Anyway, smooch for a dead man?"

This... Clearly very traumatic little incident is probably addressed by them only later. He gets a kiss and a hug at camp and a very stern "if you do that shit again I'm raising you back up just to kill you myself" from Astarion and Shadowheart's just down to drink in celebration and drown her trauma away for now lmao.

OH YEAH AND GALE WAS ALSO THERE. There was a whole Gale debacle in my playthrough but, the TL;DR, is that especially towards the end of the game he was Not in the best of terms with DU drow. Still, I obviously think he's an empathetic person and had his own "oh shit" moment. I'd say he takes this opportunity to try extending a very sincere hand out to him later that day, both for his courage in defying a god and dumb-luck - which DU drow completely passes on like an asshole and just gives him a cold-shoulder about, leaving feeling even more dejected than he already was and probably further cementing his choice to pursue the crown of Karsus later, despite DU drow's disapproval. Good job buddy!

Thank you so much for the ask and for your lovely compliments!!! Sorry for writing you a dang ESSAY 😬

[landofzero-archive]

Ougonten - Account of the Dragon's Ascension 1

Writer: Kanata Haruka

Season: Winter

(Location: Starmony Dorms Common Area)

Mika: Heave-ho…… Fuu…… Thanks a bunch, Shiratori-kun. Let’s take a break here fer now. 

Aira: We should. The unexpectedly large luggage wore me out.

Mika: Sorry fer draggin’ ya into this.

I was plannin’ on takin’ home some of my personal stuff from the handicraft club before I graduated, but it turned out to be more luggage than I expected.

Aira: No no, I had free time too. Actually, it was a feast for the eyes to see the treasured works of art belonging to Kagehira-senpai!

Also, while we were returning together, I got to hear a lot of behind the scenes stories about Machina.

As an idol otaku, it was a time of ultimate bliss♪ I’m super happy!

Mika: I appreciate ya sayin’ that. I feel bad that I can’t do anythin’ to thank ya fer yer help though……

Aira: Being able to talk about Machina with Kagehira-senpai is more than enough thanks!

Even thinking back on it now, I’m overwhelmed by that fantastic universe.

Mika: Ahaha, don’t praise me too much. Since it’s about me, I might get too excited over it.

Aira: That can’t be! From my point of view, I can’t say enough about it!

I got it! The Machina live show was good, but the show before that, “Test World,” was also amazing!

Mika: Eh!? Sh-Shiratori-kun, how do ya know about Test World!?

No one would know about that unless they were logged into that virtual world.

Aira: Ah, I didn’t see it directly! I saw the video.

Someone recorded a video of what happened in Test World and posted it on SNS.

I was so disappointed when I saw that video. I wondered why I couldn’t have gotten to see Valkyrie’s bravery with my own eyes.

Itsuki-senpai and Kagehira-senpai’s appearance at that time…… Even when I remember it, I can’t help but sigh as my tears fell.

The sight of you two looking down on everyone from above and bringing the end of the world was truly divine!

The highlight was the innocence of Kagehira-senpai, when you made money rain like hot water saying, “Art is an explosion~!”

MIka: I-It’s spread to that extent!?

Aira: Yep! I watched that scene so much I thought I was going to pierce a hole into my phone!

Mika: Don’t look at me like that! That’s where I think I got too carried away!

Uuu…… I guess I did too much by throwin’ away the money. That’s usually a punishment.

Aira: No no, I think it was a good thing!

I loved Kagehira-senpai in that scene so much that I couldn’t help but share my thoughts about it on SNS.

Kagehira-senpai’s appearance at that time, the sparkling money was like—

Mitsuru: (Whispering) Mika-ni~chan should have entered this room. I’ll sneak inside and investigate……

Mika: Ah, that’s Mitsuru-kun ain’t it. Welcome home~. What’s goin’ on, sneakin’ around like that?

Mitsuru: Uwah!? Mika-ni~chan was still in front of the door!?

Aira: Ah, sorry! Now that I think about it, we were standing in front of the door talking for a long while.

Mika: Ngah~ we’re gettin in the way of people comin’ in later. Sorry for scarin’ ya, Mitsuru-kun.

Mitsuru: I-it’s okay!! I’m going back to my room now, so Mika-ni~chan and the others can enjoy chatting~!

Mika: Eh, Mitsuru-kun!?

…… He left. Since he came into the room, I assume he had somethin’ to do but…

Did I say somethin’ to annoy Mitsuru-kun?

Aira: Hmm~mm…… Maybe he was just too surprised?

Anyway, it’s not a good idea to just stand around and talk like this. We shouldn’t surprise anyone coming in like Tenma-senpai again.

Mika: Alright. I don’t know if I can drag this luggage to my room.

Aira: That’s true…… But first, let’s have some tea and take a break. It’s never too late to carry your luggage.

Besides, I want to chat with Kagehira-senpai a bit more!

Mika: Haah. If you're serious about it, let’s make some hot tea first♪

(Location: Starmony Dorms Hallway (1F))

Mitsuru: Fuu…… That was dangerous. I almost got caught by Mika-ni~chan.

But with this I was able to learn more about Mika-ni~chan again! I’ll make a note of it right away.

“Mika-ni~chan was a good god who enjoyed standing and talking with his friends,” and…

Hmm…… It seems like this isn’t enough after all~!

A~lright, let’s find more and more divine aspects of Mika-ni~chan!

Directory | Next

[chxotic-dxcklings]

Chase Darian

Rarity: 4 Star

Path: Nihility

Type: Ice

Species: Human

Fraction: Intelligentsia Guild

Character Introduction: A student of Veritas Ratio that's laid back with a hidden side of mischief. Despite seeming lazy, he takes his studies very seriously.

Design: He has pale skin with white hair and blue eyes. He usually wears a white shirt with a blue plaid button up, jeans, and boots. Sometimes he will wear a white dress shirt with navy blue suit pants if he is feeling a bit classy, but most of the time he wears his usual outfit. Similarly to his sister, he doesn't really care what he wears as long as it's clean and makes him feel comfortable.

Voice Lines

INTERACTIVE

First Meeting: Hm? You're talking to me? I'm Chase, and I'm a student at the Intelligentsia Guild. Not much else to say about me. Greeting: Yo, what's up? Haven't seen you around lately, then again I've been doing my own things. Parting: Time to relax and enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate. About Self: I like to keep things chill. I don't cause problems and I don't like to get in the middle of problems. However, I'm always up for a prank here and there and some shenanigans. Chat: Protectiveness: I know I say I'm laid back, but if anyone decides to mess with my sister, I will not hesitate to go after them. I'm the older brother so I have to keep her safe. I have to. Hobbies: I like music. I don't play as much as I'd like to, but I'm always down to show off my skills. Art and literature are also things I enjoy, but I'm pretty busy with my studies. Annoyances: People without common sense. And people who like to cause problems on purpose. Like seriously? What makes you happy about making other people's lives more difficult for you? Something to Share: It's always funny when people try to taunt me about being "lazy" when my grades speak for themselves. I'm not a top student for nothing. Knowledge: Don't stress about the hard things. Take one step at a time and you'll be surprised on how far you can go. About Avana: I love my sister. Especially when we hang out and something ends up going wrong. What can I say? Jasper holds the braincell. About Rivera: Rivera somehow managed to get her own garden on campus. She deserves it though. She's kind-hearted and amazing. About Jasper: Oh, it's the best to get under Jasper's skin. The face he makes when he gets angry is very much worth it! About Ratio: I have the utmost respect for the Doctor. Don't tell him I said this, but he's definitely a dad at heart. How else would he put up with all of us students? About Aventurine: He's eccentric, and he's always buying us the best things. But, I like it best when he just hangs out with us. Eidolon Activation: Come on, let me show you what I've got. Character Ascension: Another assignment complete! Max Level Reached: Who said I was going to stop now? Trace Activation: I'm not going to back down. Added to Team With Ratio: Don't worry about me, Doctor. I'll be fine. Added to Team with Aventurine: Can you show me what that cornerstone can do?

[zellink]

hey, i’m nat! i write (and sometimes doodle) and go feral for botw link/zelda.

i’m flowerpower on AO3.

i'm also on twitter: flowerpower029

this is a sideblog.

inbox is always open :)

find my fics + tags below!

2024 all the bells say IN PROGRESS | 28 chapters | mature | pre-botw | #bells tag

Link and Zelda, the Calamity, and their tale of inevitability and doom, and most of all, of love. | What will you do with what you've been given when the story forever tolls the same way?

ikebana songs - my entry: blue devotion valentine's day drabble collection | 3k words | teen/mature | post-totk

Zelda, Link, and the flora of Hyrule. | Fragments of a life hard-earned, and the eternal spring that blossoms.

2023 nearer, my god, to thee one-shot | 11k words | explicit | post-botw

On the way to Zora's Domain, Link takes Zelda to a hidden place in the wild. | Link finally understands that it isn’t him who has absorbed this kingdom into his bloodstream—it is the kingdom, it is her, and she is surrounding him, swallowing him whole.

to caress a thunderstorm one-shot | 13k words | explicit | post-botw

After the Calamity, Zelda ponders upon Link, her duty, and her desires. | Zelda realizes that it doesn’t matter if they’re underneath the roof of the house, at a clothing boutique, in the secluded Sheikah village, or by the bay. It is the air that he carries around him that is warm and electric, emanating from the skin that wraps around his life force, his soul. So long as she stays by his side, it will always be that way.

liege man of life and limb 4 chapters | 25k words | explicit | post-totk

Zelda as queen and Link’s ascension from knight to prince consort. | A tale of oaths exchanged by two beings intertwined by the threads of fate, of a love that breathed life to the world.

tears through a white lace veil one-shot | 9k words | explicit | post-totk

Zelda’s homecoming in Akkala. | “I’m real,” she says, regardless of whether she truly believes it or not. “I’m scared I’d disappear, too.” She confesses. “But when you touch me, I feel real.”

TAGS: #️⃣ my fic = my fics lol but you can also find them on this post. #️⃣ my art = mostly just doodles because i'm not that good of an artist lol. #️⃣ nat says = shit i say. mostly zelink ramblings.  #️⃣ royal guard armor my beloved = royal guard armor art LMAO because i’m obsessed with it. #️⃣ blatchery plain posting = feeling like poking yourself with a hot iron thinking about zelda and link in blatchery plain? look at some blatchery plain art. #️⃣ thunder made man = link art that makes me feral that makes me think of how he’s a thunderstorm contained in a body.

[ardentkurashk]

For the recent OC ask meme : 11, 20, 25, 27! :)

11. name 3-5 things you associate your oc with Worn leather, comfortable silence, sandalwood, ginger, woodsmoke, lightning, petrichor, planetary rings, a warm laugh, tentative touches. (this was not 5 i'm sorry asfhdf) 20. is your oc like you in any way? i def gave that boy my hyena laugh and my adhd bullshit, i am sorry Zalii. We also both have no ass whatsoever. I wish I could say I was as hot as he is, ALAS. 25. what is their comfort item? He always sleeps with his blade in reach, but I'd say that was stypical for most warriors. He doesn't have anything specifically for comfort, but he is never without the beads in his hair or his earrings. They're an extension of his sense of self as much as his silver is. 27. do you have any AUs for your oc? Too many. SO many. The one I'm trying to work out art for atm was inspired by one of the tav question of the day tweets on twitter, your tav as a god. And it got me thinking. Ka'zalii would ascend with good intentions, as the gods always do. He'd focus on liberation and freedom, but then it'd also bleed into zealotry and control. So yeah, his people would be free of Vlaakith, but they'd be under whoever he approved of and he wouldn't be impartial. The corrupting power of divinity is very fun to think about. There is of course the one where he never left his creche, survived and got the idealism beaten out of him. Became as loyal to Vlaakith as any other. In that one, you'd encounter him in the knights of the shield hideout, a gish seeking favour from his queen, ascension even. There's one less fleshed out one where he never joins the Sha'sal Khou and carries on pirating and raiding. A very decadent version of him I think.

[profanepurity]

what are some names Primo and Eliza have thought of when they’re ready to have kids? After plants? Demons? Anti saints(if that exists)? Or after saints as an inside joke, to piss off seestor and nihil?

FYI, love your art and it always makes me smile when I see you’ve posted something new!

Thank you so much!!! I'm so happy and honored to hear that my art makes you happy 🖤

So the name of Primo and Eliza's baby is actually fairly significant in the AU's story, so I thought it would do better formatted as a full-blown fic!

The short answer to your question is that they actually came up with a name pretty early on. Primo was definitely wanting to name their baby after a flower for a hot minute too lol.

They didn't do it for their baby, but I can totally see them presenting baby ghouls that spawn in Primo's garden by jokingly naming them after saints (Nihil and Seestor get so mad lol)

It's funny that you mention anti saints too since that's totally in the plot of a comic I'm working on 👀

CW!!!: Bishop! Primo x sister of sin oc, graphic descriptions of violence, injury, and blood. There is a death scene. Mentions of sex as well but nothing explicit. I PROMISE this is about baby names lol 🤭

Fic, "Guiding Star", Under the Cut!! Word Count: 4,224

Bishop Emeritus Primo stood at the altar, hands folded neatly in front of him, his eyes a dull red in the darkness of the room. The latin prayer slipped past his lips so easily and smoothly. Primo had ascended the ranks of the highclergy into a bishop by merely the age of 20. He would spend a large part of his life in this ranking before his next ascension, but he was destined for a great purpose in the Old One’s evil plan. 

Only two month prior, Lucifer had come to him in a dream. The fallen angel had chosen him to rear the antichrist. Having children was never something Primo had considered, being so focused on his studies and pleasing the expectations of the church and his own father consumed his early life. But it seemed that Satanas had his own expectations that he would need to meet as well. 

Primo had awoken violently from that very dream, breathing rapidly as sobs wracked his body. Prophetic dreams were not necessarily uncommon for the young Bishop to have, far from it actually. But what made this one so different was the fact that the dream had- well, terrified him. 

For context, usually Lucifer liked to make his dreams a bit of a light hearted mind fuck. Sure, there would be some intensity to them depending on what the message was, but humor was usually sprinkled in there some where or another. Contrary to what you might think, Lucifer was rarely serious for more than ten minutes at a time. The Right Reverend Stell even possessed a dry, dark humor than would make you crack up in the middle of a tense encounter, or grow even more disturbed by the man.

 Fucking Bishop Stell. 

That was what pissed Primo off about these dreams more than anything. Bishop Stell, Lucifer, was across the damn hallway in his own quarters. Yes, his presence was not always within the church, as he would be “attending matters else where”, yet rather than simply coming to him in flesh, Lucifer preferred to leave him sleepless with cryptic, baffling dreams Primo would have to spend hours deciphering later. The young bishop would wake with a groan and disgruntled italian grumblings, shuffling out of bed and throwing the covers off himself to write it all down at 3 in the morning, only to be greeted in a meeting full of bright eyed, happy Bishops.

No, this dream had sent Primo into a panic, fighting to breath as he sat upright, eyes wide and full of tears as he actually considered going to Reverend Stell like a child that had a nightmare.​​ The thought that this could have been a product of his own mind did cross him, but it just didn’t seem likely. 

Primo was of course well aware of Lucifer’s fall from grace. The elders within the church droned on and on of it in the children’s ministry. It was tiredly preached by every priest that had ever held a mass. The Fall was the equivalent to the Gospel of Matthew around Easter, everyone knew it. The only time the story would be remotely intriguing anymore would be if Bishop Stell or Bishop Null would be leading the sermon. The most recent time, the Reverend had Free Bird playing in the background as he described the dissension as if he had actually been there- Primo wondered if anyone outside of his family and the ghouls knew that he actually had been. 

“What the scripture left out in this passage was how your unholy Father killed 27 angels, burned down seven monestraies in heaven, and fucked up archangel Michael significantly… before he did unfortunately get his own ass kicked.” Bishop Stell worded it as if he was describing a fight he was in 20 years ago at a college party. 

“When your mothers ask you if you would jump off a cliff if your friends were, your answer should always be yes. Belilal fell from heaven right after Lucifer, he wasn’t going to let his best friend embarrass himself alone. You shouldn’t let your friends get their asses kicked alone either.” Bishop Null would add in that happy, charming chirp he had, smiling with amusement. It was never something the Lords themselves would take seriously. 

This dream had been the most vivid, graphic experience of warfare that Primo had every experienced. He stood out of body, watching swords and weapons swing, wings fracture and bones snap. So much blood shed onto the white clouds. Heaven had turned red. 

He spotted Lucifer easily. How could be miss the great Seraphim? His destruction of the Heavens had not been exaggerate. Magnificent structures burned, angels were crushed and torn apart like prey, the dogs of Heaven dropped from the skies like dead flies as Lucifer let out an indescribable shriek- a harbringer of death. 

For a brief moment, Primo thought that Lucifer’s Order was going to prevail. He watched in a shell shocked awe, unable to move or look away. Though he was sure if he were to look down he would not see his own body. But, as he knew was inevitable, the Rebel Chief fell, dissolving into the body shaped like a man as angels swarmed and broke him down. The Prince of Heaven’s armies, Michael, locked into combat with the weakened Lucifer, backing him further and further towards the edge, until Michael’s spear plummeting through his chest and sent Lucifer in a rapid descent down from seraph skies- now chaos bound.

Blinking, Primo found himself in the Pit. The white goat beside him stood among the fires, exhaling puffs of sulfur. 

“Emeritus… eligit te.” It rasped. It happened too fast for Primo to register immediately, as Lucifer’s body plummeted and hit the ground only a few yards away. The noise upon contact made the young Bishop want to vomit. Satanas stood up on his hind legs, prancing and bucking wildly in celebration of the fallen angel, laying so sacred and profound on the floor of Hell… suffering. 

Primo remembered the day Lucifer had picked him up and held him during his dedication to the church. He remembered every whisper, every soft brush of phantom wings around him that had comforted him to sleep as a small child in the orphanage. Lucifer always answered his incantations and summonings, always held his head and directed his eyes to ground him in a vision. Primo didn’t want to turn and face him. He didn’t want to see the body. 

“Pater meus filius… imperia perdet… adducet plagas… rectores orbis terrarum.” Lucifer’s voice was forced and strained, blood filling his lungs as every word hitched in a choked sob. How could Primo not look at him? He suddenly possessed his body again, coming to his side and placing shaking hands upon him, daring to touch him. The fallen angel’s body burned, seering every nerve in his hands as he held them to Lucifers split open head. 

He accepted. “Etiam Domini.” Primo managed to speak, shocked to hear how his voice came out in a trembling whimper. Primo stared into the white, empty eyes of Lucifer as black started to seep into them through the edges. He was vaguely aware of the other bodies falling. 

Belial… Beelzebub…Asmodeus. 

“... The opening to Free Bird is pretty fitting right now actually.” Primo didn’t even think about his words, he just spoke. His eyes widenned at what he’d just said, but Lucifer actually smiled, blood seeping past the corners of his lips and down his cheeks. It’s a shame he won’t be breathing during that sexy ass guitar solo.

Hearing the unholy Father described as waiting in tomb was something Primo had always thought to be more metaphorical. He wasn’t expecting, nor prepared, to feel that burning heat turn stone cold. He stared at the slacked face in his palms, hearing mournful, pained shrieks and wails in the distance.

His Father just died in his arms. 

The scream of a woman that he some how knew was Lilith tore apart the trance Primo had fallen into. That’s how he found himself sitting up in bed crying. 

Sunlight creeped in through the curtains of his room as the muffled, some how still obnoxious music was carried by the morning.

He never thought he would be so happy to hear Mama Mia at 6 in the morning. 

*

Primo had gone straight to the children’s ministry to find a very particular sister of sin. The sight of her auburn curls peaking behind her habit drove him towards her. 

“Your Excellency?” Sister Elizabeth barely had time to greet her boyfriend properly before he was fully embracing her in a tight hug. She had put down some of the fruit she had been preparing to plate for the children’s morning snacks to wrap her arms around him, place a hand on the back of his head and running her fingers through the platinum blonde. 

“.... Primo.” The slight urgency in her hushed voice had forced Primo to pull himself away, enough to look at her at least. 

“Lilith came to me-”

“Lucifer came to me-”

They both stared at each other in shock. Eliza went first, telling Primo that Lilith has declared her to take the position as the next Prime Mover. Who her Papa would be was not mentioned. Primo then told her his dream, and that Lucifer has chosen him to father the antichrist, but didn’t describe who his Prime Mover would be. 

Another silence fell between them as they processed eachother’s words. Primo looked down at the little mobile crib that Eliza was keeping beside her. He recognized the one year old that had been dropped off at the ministry’s door not long ago after Sister Imperator had returned to the church, much to his father’s shock and delight. Primo stopped himself from thinking about that train wreck of a relationship as he just sighed at the sight of baby Copia- the only thing his mother had left him with was his name and a warm blue blanket. His youngest brother Terzo was only a few years older than him.

Eliza noticed Primo’s gaze and looked at Copia as well. Smiling softly, she went to pick him up, holding the bundle in her arms. Primo could help but think she looked gorgeous holding a baby.

“I think you’ll be an amazing Prime Mover, cara.” 

As Primo considered his future more after that, the young bishop would come to the children’s ministry to visit his Sister of Sin daily at the tail end of her duties. They’d only been dating for a little less than a year at this point, but Primo couldn’t think of anyone he would rather have a child with, especially one so important. Seeing her read to the children and make them laugh and encourage them in their little activities broke his heart each time. Her patience was seemingly endless, and her love for the children sang through her eyes and voice like a song only he could hear. He knew she would be an incredible mother.

One day, she had caught him watching her, fixed on the way she was rocking a little one to sleep. A smirk graced her lips, making her fangs peak past her lips in a way that made the Bishop feel as though he was going mad. The sister approached him quietly with the baby. 

“Sorella?” He raised a brow at her as she offered him the baby. 

“Would you like to practice?” She asks in light wry, earning a scoff from Primo. 

“I get enough practice wrangling mi fratelli.”

“Si, but I want to see what you’ll look like as Papa.” She practically purrs at him. The future Prime Mover seems to have chosen the father of her child as well. After that little announcement, Primo took her straight to his room, barely keeping his hands off her. 

It wasn’t until they were tangled in eachother’s arms, breathless and spent, did a thought come to Eliza’s mind. 

“.... what the hell do we name the antichrist?” She gasps softly, her head laid against her bishop’s chest, scarlet eyes blinking up at him widely. Bishop Emeritus stared right back at her with his own mismatched gaze. 

That was a good question. 

This would eventually lead to quite a few serious conversations between the young couple. The reality of marriage, the reality of having a child, the reality of raising one, regardless of its significance to the Old One’s plan, needed to be seriously considered. They were both very ambitious clergy members, involved in several demanding obligations and duties within the church, and to their own dark practices. Just managing to see eachother on a regular basis was some times a struggle. 

Primo was also actively involved with Secondo and Terzo, only six and three years old respectfully. He was aware how demanding it would be to raise a child of his own, along with his little brothers, as he was certain the significant absence Papa Nihil had with him would be extended to Secondo and Terzo throughout their childhoods. 

Starting a family would need to wait for the time being. This at least gave them time to consider a name though. Bishop Primo and Sister Elizabeth spent any night they had free walking the gardens that Primo was beginning to steadily expand himself. He would show her the names of the floral, occasionally mentioning how some of them could be potential names. 

“Leilani is beautiful.” Sister Eliza mused at the thought. 

“Si… Is that a name you would like, my Rose?” Primo asked her as she held his arm. 

“Mm… it’s definitely an option. Not too feminine?”

“That’s a good point… we should keep the name neutral.” Primo’s voice trailed off in thought as he stared at the plowed patch of this section of his garden. Eliza couldn’t help but brush the blonde hair off his creasing brow back into the rest of his hair, amused and smittened by how serious he looked. 

“What if our child rises from coal and ash like a feral fire ghoul crawling out of the depths?” She asks him, eyes glowing softly in the night. 

He gazed upon the gorgeous, hellish creature that was his wife to be with nothing by adoration. “... That would be metal as fuck.” he breaks the seriousness and makes her giggle. 

“We would have to off set some of their power by naming them something stupid… like Kevin.” Now Eliza was fully laughing. Her laugh was more beautiful than any song or hymn Primo has ever heard. 

They did eventually settle on a name. 

The prophet of the Morningstar took a deep breath as he finished his morning prayer and stood from the altar, putting out each candle one by one. Today would be the day he would present that name. 

*

Primo found himself growing anxious as he walked through the halls of the high clergymen. His arms folded behind him as his mind wandered past where his feet were taking him. It made sense to him and Eliza that if they were going to wait on having a child, even still after becoming Papa and Prime Mover, that they could at least designate a name for their future child as a promise to the Old One. 

Primo was torn out of his thoughts by the click of heels and a warm voice. 

“My, we’re quite grave this morning, aren’t we?” There stood the tall, deathly beautiful Bishop Mater. His anxiety lessened almost immediately as he bowed his head to her. “Reverend, fogive me, I’m just a bit… nervous.” He admits. 

“What could the unblessed Bishop Emeritus Primo possibly be nervous about?” She asks, serpent-like eyes gazing upon him, somehow holding the same softness you would expect from a mother looking proudly at her son. 

“... I’ve decided on a name for Lucifer’s child. I’m about to present it to the Bishops. I hope you’ll be in attendance at the meeting…” His words caused the other bishop to lose her smile, falling silent. Primo’s edge returned now tenfold. 

“... If you think I shouldn’t-” 

“No-” Her hands come to rest on the outer sides of his arms. “You should.” Mater’s reassurance did little for him now.

“... I want to show my gratitude towards Him for waiting. I want the dedication to be a promise and to prove that I’m committed to his will… but what if He rejects the name?” Primo’s voice dissolves. Yet Mater’s gaze softened with every word she listened to, her pupils dialating into round, doe-like orbs. 

“You’re not going to name his child a latin number, right?” Her smirk growing when Primo bristled up. 

“Absolutely not!” 

“Then he’s going to love it, sweetheart.” Her nose crinkling as she smiled. Mater kissed his ringed hands and then his forehead, making the young Bishop’s face scrunch up slightly as he tried to hide his smile, the feeling of her lip gloss sticking to his forehead. 

Primo continued his walk after that and entered the small congregation room of the Bishops, Mater trailing behind him silently, slipping past him and the door frame to move off to the side. The boisterous arguments and barking laughter had become a pleasant normalcy to Primo. It was such a stark difference to the other clergymen. He even found himself wishing Nihil would spend more time here like he used to, only drifting further away into his own obsessions with the Ghost project as he aged. At least he still smoked weed with Satanas from time to time. 

“There you are, you’re late.” Bishop Avarice huffed at him through his cigar, the large man reclined back in his chair lazily, just as if Beelzebub was in his own throne. 

“Reverend Carnalis isn’t here yet,” Bishop Null chides at him quietly.

“Carnalis is probably balls deep in a sibling right now.” He rolls his eyes, biting down on that cigar with large canines that looked a little too sharp. Bishop Null just grinned at Primo before he noticed the edge to the young man. 

“Seen something spooky, kiddo?” Null was far too sweet looking, far too kind, Belial only needed a small reason to snap. 

Primo controlled his breath and kept his eye contact with Null, reminding himself he wasn’t in a den of ghouls… yet. 

“I wanted to present something to you all.. If your excellencies are not otherwise occupied.” 

“Depends on what you're presenting to us, Emeritus.” There was the honey smooth voice of Bishop Carnalis walking through the door behind him. He sounded as attractive as sin itself, but behind that mask he wore was the flesh and blood of Asmodeus, dripping with carnal desire. 

Before Primo could continue, Bishop Mater stopped Carnalis, sliding her hand over his chest and pressing herself to him strategically. “I think we should all hear what Reverend Emeritus’ presentation is before Reverend Stell arrives. 

Now all eyes and ears were on Primo. 

“... I have decided on a name for Lucifer’s child.” He repeated what he had told the unblessed mother in the hallway. The background noise of Def Leppard on the radio some how ceased the moment the words left his mouth. Silence fell upon the room, Avarice’s cigar threatening to fall out of his mouth, Carnalis’ previously tight grip on Mater loosened, and Null looked almost scared. 

Primo felt like he was about to snap, barely managing his agitation at this point.

“Is that what you’re presenting to us?” Null asked as he came around the table towards Primo, seeming anxious himself.

“I’m started to question if I should now.”

“No no- just let us hear it first.” Null ushers, perhaps his vibrations were poorly masked excitement rather than anxiety. 

“Kid, if he hates it you’re fucked-” Avarice barely finished his sentence before the Reverend Bishop Stell opened the door and stepped in. 

“Who’s getting fucked now?” He asks, standing in the open doorway and looking over each one of them. “.... who killed the radio?” The Bishop’s suspion darkening his expression.

“Oh we were just-” Mater was cut off as Primo turned to face Stell. “I have an offering for Lucifer.” Defiance shining in his eyes, glinting red as he looking up at the older man. Primo rarely stepped out of line, and even more rarely did raise his voice to another high clergyman, or anyone for that matter.

“He was running it by us, but I believe it would be best if we spoke about it privately first-”

Null walked over to Stell’s side and touched his arm. Primo was not going to allow any more delays though. His nerves have twisted into anger and spite of the Bishops. Even Primo had had his reckless moments as a young man.

“Sister Elizabeth and I are designating the name of the antichrist.” Now Stell’s eyes were locked solely on Primo. Black eyes that held an emotion Primo couldn’t quite discern at the moment, one that he might find concerning if he wasn’t so pissed. 

Primo held Lucifer’s gaze, not daring to look away. He was waiting for the young Bishop to dare to continue. There was no backing out now.

“....Michael-.”

The door slammed shut so hard the hinges nearly tore out of the wall. 

“IT WAS A JOKE- I WAS JOKING!” Primo shouts just as Lucifer stopped right in front of him, barely contained rage being held back. Satanas’ laugh trickled in from the shadows in the back of the room like sand paper against a chalk board, mocking Lucifer.

Primo could practically see the flames of Hell threatening to erupt out of Lucifer’s mouth and eyes. “... Yeah, that was a good one, you little shit.” his snarling whisper promising violence if Primo didn’t pick his next moves very carefully. He could feel the tension from the other Lords around them. 

“... no it was, that was a shitty joke.” Primo admitted quietly as he moved his hands up slowly. He was very aware how weird and stupid this probably looked. However, he was trying not to die right now, so a bit of embarrassment could be forgiven. He placed both of his hands on either side of Lucifer’s head, just like he had in his dream. The prophet stared into his eyes with no fear or hesitation. Eliza and him were fully committed to their future child, and fully dedicated to the fallen angel. 

“I am dedicating the name of your child to you, Lord Lucifer. They will be named Astr, after my guiding star. I will love and guide them as their father, just as you have done for me.”

It was almost comical the way Bishop Stell’s shoulders fell and his brow lifted. And Primo would’ve laughed if he didn’t see the shocking, deep sadness that filled Lucifer’s eyes. It was like Primo told him the worst news of his life, and suddenly he grew terrified and scared again. He didn’t have time to say anything as the image of baby Copia flashed in his head for a moment, confusing the young bishop. When he focused back on Stell, he was smiling, like he wasn’t just about to start sobbing, hell he looked incredibly proud even. 

“I believe Lucifer would greatly approve of that name, Bishop Emeritus.” He purred, taking one of Primo’s hands from his head and kissing one of his rings. 

“I feel like I’m watching a fucking Hallmark movie.” Bishop Avarice groaned, earning a hiss from Mater. The tension finally lifted and the music finally came back on. Nothing Else Matters by Metallica played quietly in the background as the other Bishops approved and blessed the name, despite the jabs and sneers from the sappiness. 

The heir to the Emeritus lineage and the bloodline of the dark architect will be, Astr. 

Bishop Emeritus’ attention was pulled by Bishop Carnalis, playfully questioning if this meant Sister Eliza and him have been getting busy lately. While he was distracted, Null discreetly slid his arm behind Lucifer’s back, pressing a warm palm to the permanently fractured piece of his spine, then to his shoulder blades where rotting wings would connect to his body. He had caught that initial look. When Stell finally looked at him, he just smiled handsomely and winked at the other. Null returned it weakly, but he couldn’t maintain it as he whispered near his ear. 

“I heard what she named him… I don’t understand how you expect me to walk around here and not gut her for that kind of offense.” Null’s words were shaking slightly with anger.

“Babe, you sound really negative right now, you know that?…”

“... That’s because I hate seeing you in pain, jack ass.”

“And I love seeing you go batshit with a ritual blade… but we have to keep playing dress up for now…” Stell’s eyes met Null’s for a moment, just an inch away from eachother. Null stared at Stell’s lips for a moment before smirking, leaning into his ear once more. 

“I liked you more when you impulsively started wars with God… You’re boring now that you’re a daddy.” He nips the shell of Bishop Stell’s ear sharply, before pulling away and walking back into the center of the conversation with an innocent smile, ignoring the low growl and burning lust in the glare from The Devil.

[flustered-victorian-gentleman]

complaining about the state of modern book covers

In other news, I made a very sad personal discovery about a very niche and stupid topic and need to yell about it

(readmore because shit gets LONG)

I was a HUGE fan of Canadian sci fi trilogy The Quintaglio Ascension back in school. I remember specifically picking up the first book while browsing the school library and being immediately captivated by the cover art.

This shit goes fucking hard. In addition to going hard it's also a useful reference for what the sapient dinosaurs actually look like, since there's no illustrations of them within the book. Obviously the characters describe each other but like, they're all the same species so no one is walking around like "this is my friend Tim he looks like a T.rex with human hands and thumbs and has fingernails instead of claws," so this helps. Here's the other two covers just for our personal entertainment.

Anyway, about last week I remembered the series again out of the blue and wanted to pick it up again because I haven't read them in so long and the cover art is so fire. Enter the tragedy I discovered on my local library website:

What in the hot crispy kentucky fried FUCK is that. HUH????

I am by no means educated in marketing or design but this just seem like...anti-marketing?? This just looks like the most generic sci fi shit I've ever seen. Tells you jack shit about the extremely unique setting, which is kind of the whole fucking HOOK of the series. Is the publishing house EMBARRASSED that the book is about talking space dinosaurs?? Also very misleading considering nobody goes to space at all in this book. Everything is on the ground on one planet.

ALSO CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH BUT THIS COVER IS A FUCKING **SPOILER** FOR A VERY IMPORTANT TWIST LATE IN THE BOOK

So, understandably I was a little miffed. I thought to myself, why don't I just check Amazon instead. I could just purchase the full series with the good cover and keep it forever.

AND IT GOT WORSE ON AMAZON

ok, I'll admit this is better than the library cover. there is at least a Mesozoic reptile here, although we still seem to be coyly hiding the fact that all of our protagonists are dinosaurs for some stupid reason. So this gets a very small pass on account of it's not objectively bad but is still quite lazy and underwhelming compared to the original cover. But this cover in particular isn't why I made this post. Don't worry, the other two covers by this artist (I'm assuming it's the same person?) get steadily worse.

first of all, these silhouettes slapped onto this background looks like shit. on first glance they look decently well integrated into the background, but have a look at the bottom dinosaur. it's just kind of...floating...on the rocks. I would give it a little pass if it was obvious the dinosaurs weren't intended to be part of the environment, but the way they've just slapped silhouetted bargain bin Leaping Laelaps onto the bottom half of the cover makes it seem like they were just hoping you wouldn't look to hard and realize there was no effort made to make them look like they're part of the environment.

For reference, here is Leaping Laelaps, painted by Charles R Knight in 1897. If I were in a kinder mood I'd call the cover a callback or reference to famous paleoart. But the laziness, silhouetting, and weird proportions compared to the Quintaglios in the books makes me feel like they didn't want to come up with an interesting dinosaur pose and just a slapped together a worse-posed version of an existing famous panting with as little detail as possible so they could claim they were doing a reference. I would give them a lot more good faith benefit of the doubt if it was anything other than a silhouette. Don't get me wrong, silhouettes can look very good and add unique visuals to cover art, but it seems very clear to me that that's not what's happening here.

And now for possibly tonight's worst offender.

My first impression was that this shit was just goofy as shit. The clouds hurt to look at (no seriously, take a good look at those clouds) and the pose is so stiff.

Wait.

Hey.

That pose.

I've seen that somewhere before.

And so, like a normal and well-adjusted adult, I rushed to my extensive collection of dinosaur figurines.

Enter the 2005 Papo Tyrannosaurs Rex (Brown).

(taking these pictures off an ebay listing because my figure is waaaay at the back of the Virgin Loser Dinosaur Toys Display Case and moving him would require moving like 30 other figurines)

hey.

HEY.

H E Y WHAT THE FUCK

of course, I can't prove anything in court. i don't have any plans to *do anything* about this. It's just...sad, to me, that thirty years ago we were getting beautiful, detailed, original paintings for book covers. even for niche Canadian space dinosaurs sci fi. and now what. you can't tell me people don't make art anymore, that artists no longer need jobs. I guess we've just decided we don't give a shit anymore. Why not just trace an image of a fucking children's toy instead of drawing a fucking dinosaur. Who cares.

[thehoneyknight]

Memoria, sketch pages 17-32

(Radiant Arc 10, 3.35)

Page 17

Mato- (cont.) longer still if you don’t count the Hunters only seeking me for my Nail Art. I could teach the two of you my Nail Art, if you would like it?

Luma- !

Mato- Then it’s settled! Come on through then, little-

Argent- I don’t trust you. I’m only accepting your offer because Luma is.

Mato- Luma! What a lovely name! What about you?

Argent- Argent. Remember it, fool.

-

Page 18

(Honey- Were we fools to dream?)

Argent- Cyclone Slash! This will be so useful…

Mato- They have already modified my technique… Argent reminds me of my brothers. They were natural Nailmasters. Not I. I have two brothers- Oro and Sheo. We have not spoken since long before the kingdom fell. Oro- we parted ways in bitter conflict.

There’s a lot left unspoken for, I cannot resent them, I cannot forget, I can only live. You are lucky to have your sibling, little Luma.

Don’t become like my siblings and I, unbound. Do not forget them. I won’t forget you.

-

Page 19

(Honey- Forget)

Argent- We can’t look back. Not for anyone. Not for anything.

Luma- …

Argent- This is our choice.

(Honey- Left behind… How many did we turn our backs to?)

-

Page 21

((Ch2.20))

Argent- That was close. You saved us, friend. If we’d both been broken… That would be it. We’d be done. Thank you for protecting me, Luma. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you too.

We can come back from this though. We can find a hot spring to fix your shell, lifeblood cocoons to heal me back up. We can do this, Luma! I know it.

-

Page 22

Argent- We can make this! We’re together in this!

(Honey- Infection. Out in the Wastelands. Why?)

Argent- Luma! I got enough! Here you go.

-

Page 23

Argent- Welcome back~ ! Ah! Hahaha! Let’s continue protecting each other. There is a future for us.

I had hoped these mines would lead to a kingdom but there’s nothing around. We came here for the lifeblood but where is the source? I need it but… This place gives me a bad feeling.

-

Page 24

Argent- Why would there be a mine in the middle of the Wastelands with no kingdom to supply? A kingdom couldn’t disappear, right? But White Palace disappeared… Whatever happened… If done on a larger scale-

Wow- Lumaflies, Luma! Think of how strong you could be with their light! And beyond… That’s the lifeblood I sensed. It’s so far away, but to feel so powerful…

-

Page 25

Argent- The power of a god. It must have been a god. These mines. That god. What happened to the kingdom here…?

(Honey- When a Higher Being dies what happens to their kingdom? When they are forgotten what happens to their creations? And when those who live under their light choose to claim as self, what can gods truly call to their graves?)

((Ch2.26))

Argent- It’s been so long since we’ve seen so many Lumaflies all in one place. It’s amazing.

-

Page 26

Argent- You named yourself after a beautiful moment, Luma.

-

Page 27

(Morpho Helena)

-

Page 28

Morléna- Child of memoria. My kingdom has faded with me. There is nothing here for you but memories. Remember and take with you our legacy.

We are long gone. We wish not to remain forgotten. Take us to my grave and set our memory free.

-

Page 29

Morléna- May we live on in lifeblood and ascension. The kingdom of Morléna, we and us.

-

Page 30

Argent- The god died. She left behind her kingdom but it couldn’t survive without her. They believed in her with their whole hearts.

Without her the kingdom faded. It turned to memory, to light. It was… forgotten. She was Morléna, named after her kingdom. If we remember, will it all…

It won’t come back.

-

Page 31

Argent- … It won’t come back but- / I want to remember them. …

Luma- ! (Tip Tap)(Splish Splash)

Argent- Luma… …

You’re right… The Hollow Knight… Hallownest… Our siblings left in the dark…

-

Page 32

Argent- We have to remember them.

This is what happened to White Palace.

The King tried to hide Hallownest from the Infection, like Morléna in memoria. Hiding in a memory- a dream.

But it didn’t work. Nobody believed. Not enough. He could only take the one place that he could truly call his own.

[ravenloftgm]

My TTRPG OCs

Alright there's a bunch but lets get into it. They'll get a blurb here, and I'll add hyperlinks as I give them their own posts.

Vampire the Masquerade:

Faith Meade: Backstory | Viewforth by Night: I / II / III Faith is a Sandman Ventrue full of Catholic Guilt™ and Autism™. She's a brand new fledgling who has immediately lost her sire and fallen in with the wrong crowd, notably including her new accidental father figure, a Camarilla Tzimisce. She is not fucking coping, she is not hinged, she is not okay at all, she averages more than one mental breakdown a night. She juggles this, and her highly eventful nightlife, with a successful career as a Sales Trader.

Riccardo "Dino" Rossi: Dino is an Anarch, and a Siren Toreador. He is hot, often accidentally vulgar, and his sire is a creepy piece of shit. Dino thinks he's coping great, by aggressively hyperfocusing on sex and motorcycle racing. He is also an expert (after... a learning process) in managing his sire's emotions, so his unlife has become one of performing as the perfect prized pet. I wanted to make a tragic manwhore, and I was thinking about Gino D'acampo at the time. He has become one of my most beloved characters I've ever played, because when I play Dino, he actually possesses me. I flustered the storyteller more than once. I am not typically smooth.

Kellan Voss: Kellan is my baby boy. He's a Cammie, and a Bagger Nosferatu. He wears a gas mask with tinted lenses, although when he made his debut he was also wearing a bandit mask blue-tacked onto the lenses, rendering him unable to see. The coterie pretty much met because he brought himself, his sire, and a goat to the floor at Elysium, and they came over to help. He's coping by being the class clown and being aggressively extroverted - refusing to give in to any sort of "typical" Nosferatu experience. He is stacking an impressive number of social merits for a fledgling.

Honourable mention: Brendan O'Rourke. I haven't played him yet, but I've been working on him for over a year. He's my Malkavian, but I won't say too much until the details are Final and I've got a chance to play him.

Mage the Ascension

Bonnie Raith-Ballantyne: My most beloved WoD character, Bonnie is everything to me. She's a pretty new orphan, but she's already being pulled unknowingly between Hollow One/Cult of Ecstasy/Order of Hermes. She has SUPER high willpower, and that's the basis of her character: what she wants, she gets. She is pure determination and discipline and effort. Playing her brings me so much joy and I have improved my actual real life since starting her. The storyteller has implied her Avatar has at one point been the Oracle at Delphi.

Changeling the Lost

Alabaster: My only amnesiac character, this bitch remembers escaping a weird garden, being saved from a snake with a babies face by some fucked up scarecrow looking dudes, and waking up in hospital with only the single most infuriating man in the world to explain her situation to her. She only learned anything about who she is by finding it out in real time. She's a chav. She's full of rage. She thinks with her fists. She's protective of women. She's really, really skilled with martial arts? The first woman she met in uptime was a trans woman called Erin and they immediately commit a murder together. She has killed and would die for that tiny anxious woman. She has known her all of two days. She's a Treasured Fairest, she looks like a marble statue, and she's been walking around in a pink crop top that says "Pillow Princess" on it since the murder. She's going to wind up Summer Court, if I get to play her again - the campaign didn't last but it might come back!

Dungeons and Dragons:

Euphoria: My longest running TTRPG character of all time, and the only character who I might play a second time if I get the chance. Euphoria is a pink tiefling bard who was forced to wear uncomfortable molds all her childhood so her horns and tip of her tail would grow into heart shapes. She has tattooed heart freckles. Her clothes, upon starting the character, were all pink with heart details on everything. She was sold into the circus as a baby and brought up almost constantly under Enchantment magic to be obedient. I started her at level 3, and we're now level 22 and in space. I couldn't begin to be succinct about her story, so I won't try. I'm also playing her in my BG3 run and of course she's romancing Astarion. She's a force for chaos and their trauma is so similar.

Ivory "Angel" Darling: Her campaign ended - like, we got to the end of the story, we hit level 20, we saved everyone, it's done and dusted. She's had an epilogue. I think about her always regardless. She's a 16y/o half-elf warlock (she grew up over the campaign tho) from a rich, happy family, and she joined the party to study their tiefling, as she wanted to be a demonologist. Defeating Tiamat was just the cherry on top. She had a checklist - make a career, find a husband, finish this paper - and by god did she finish it. I'm so emotional about the connections between the characters of this campaign and I will talk about her so much more. I named my Elite Dangerous pilot after her. Her son is an NPC in a friends game, two of my friends have been playing her cousins, one of them has played TWO of her cousins. Her family lore is so deep.

Pathfinder

Groz: The bartender NPC from my D&D west march game found life in a pathfinder game with my colleagues. He has half a braincell but he hits things good. He will protect you. He will also decide that bashing a door down is preferable to finding a key, and donate flesh to weird cults because they asked kinda nicely, losing him a finger. I'm probably more likely to talk about him as my D&D NPC rather than as my Pathfinder PC because we've only done 2 sessions of that campaign and it runs SO rarely.

[thelostjournals]

The hope that turned into a dragon

This is the story of the constellation's dimmest star and how it

We both hesitate to call it dying. But maybe this is what death is.

Maybe we'll learn more with time, as we decipher the stories of the other stars. For now, here it is:

Like steps polished by the feet of generations, like pebbles shaped by shapeless water, stories and constellations smoothen with time.

I had two stars very close to each other: my darkest and my second-brightest. Siblings, convicted by the lines the mortals drew in their minds, to be ever distant.

The dim star, they used to say, shines from a deep abyss that separated the observatory from the rest of the city. The abyss was as deep as the sky seen from the observatory was high and as dark as the sun was bright. But in every darkness, they said, there is a light, no matter how weak.

The smallest star wasn't the smallest; she was just the farthest from the Earth. I am vaster than the mortals imagine; that at least didn't change with my ascension.

The furthest star missed the mortals the most. She yearned for them for eons, feeding on the stories told about her, stories of hope and dim lights that are enough, and ached to live on the small rock that was so far from us.

Each story made her heart wider, the gas that was her body spreading in the emptiness of space, blooming into a nebula, until all that was left of her glorious, shining body, was a hot, hard heart among colorful clouds. There was no light in it anymore, and the nebula, beautiful as it was, wasn't visible to the mortals not yet.

Mortals stopped telling stories and the farthest star was no longer a symbol of hope.

It broke her.

I watched it, I felt it, the hard, hot iron heart crack open. I felt the dragon coming out of it. I felt her spreading her wings because, for a short while, they were also mine.

Then she flew towards the planet she longed for, the one that believed her to be hope incarnate, and she was no longer mine. She was her own.

The star was no more, and the imaginary abyss was no more. My stories became ones about a city on a mountain, the observatory just a place on the mountain peak, accessible to all who had the stamina and wits to climb through my districts.

I was smoothened.

The Flicker and the Fade is harder for me to play than You Are a Beacon. The prompts are more, well, nebulous (I won't see myself out, this is my blog, sorry), and imagining stars is harder than imagining people. Also, I decided to use watercolor paint while playing this game, and I'm not good at it. This project is all about doing imperfect experimental things, about being playful, not professional but nobody said it comes easy.

The fact that my father was a physicist and that I remembered that hey, stars have life cycles, I need to research it, or he will come back from the dead to haunt me, didn't help.

I like the fact that the game is challenging, but also makes playing it way slower. Especially since I want to write it only when I feel like it.

So, I struggled with this first star, yesterday I even left writing mid-entry not knowing where I want to take the story, and then, a few hours ago I saw the sentence "I promise not to make boring art" somewhere and I asked myself what would be the least boring and most wacky thing to happen and the first word I thought of was dinosaurs.

Of course, the star changing into a dinosaur didn't fit the world tonally, but the dead star's core being a dragon egg is, at least to me, SUPER COOL. So here we have it.

This is the second entry in my playthrough of The Flicker and the Fade, a beautiful yet challenging game you can find here: https://nyessa.itch.io/the-flicker-and-the-fade

The playthrough is a part of an impromptu worldbuilding project my "let's play a lot of solo journaling games" turned into - hence the intro, which is written by a character from the previous game, You Are a Beacon (to be found here: https://radiantfracture.itch.io/you-are-a-beacon). You can read the whole playthrough in previous entries.

[strangefellows]

Sasaki Kojiro, Charles-Henri Sanson, Phantom of the Opera, Lancelot

First impression

Kojiro: Oh I know that name!!! Oh dude he's pretty hot.

Sanson: Who the actual fuck is Sanson, okay I gotta go google that shit right now.

Phantom: YOOOOOOOO HEY ERIK WHAT'S UP MY DUDE YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY IN FATE ACTUALLY, GOOD JOB MY MAN

Lancelot: For Berserkerlot: YOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING BADASS HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTT / For Saberlot: Oh, so that's what he looks like when he's not having a crazy day, he's cute!

Impression now

Kojiro: Even if he doesn't have much to him, he's still pretty damn cool, let's be real.

Sanson: MY LOVE MY LOVE MY LOVE MY LOVE SALEM SOLD ME ON YOU FOREVER MY FAVORITE ASSASSIN TAKE MY GRAILS My Sanson is 90 okay that should tell you everything.

Phantom: What a FASCINATING version of him, he's very fun. I love his fourth Ascension art.

Lancelot: IDIOT STUPID DUMBASS HIMBO (affectionate) I love this guilt ridden mess of a man who desperately wants to be an Okay Dad he's my favorite of the KOTR Idiot Trio by far.

Favorite moment

Kojiro: LOOK, HIS DUEL WITH MUSASHI AT THE END OF SHIMOUSA FUCKED TEN KINDS OF ASS AND IT NEVER CEASES TO BE GLORIOUS. But also his last duel with Saber in UBW slapped hard.

Sanson: Salem, everything about Salem, but most of all his arc's finale where he saves Lavinia and gets executed, like goddamn son that was incredible.

Phantom: I loved him in Summercamp after we break the spell on him, he's so SWEET and FUSSY when he's having a normal day.

Lancelot: Every single time Mash destroys him and he thanks his daughter for doing it. But also Lancelot vs Agravain in the OVA was absofuckinglutely the most metal thing I have ever seen???? Also like, the big damn heroes in LB6 was golden.

Idea for a story

Kojiro: I NEED to explore this whole 'Kojiro doesn't really exist' thing but also Musashi interactions PLEASE. Let him hang out with his killer his enemy his friend the only reason he exists, only she's not really, she's another version, let's explore that.

Sanson: Good christ I NEED more of exploring his mindset especially reading about his role in the French Revolution.

Phantom: Anything would be fun, he's an interesting one to look at for sure.

Lancelot: KOTR INTERACTIONS!!! I want to explore the Gwen thing, I want to explore the madness, I want to explore his obvious insanely strong Catholic Guilt, but man I want to have him interact with Merlin for REASONS

Unpopular opinion

Kojiro: He's not popular enough to have those unfort lol.

Sanson: SHRUG EMOJI????

Phantom: IDK man these three are pretty minor Servants lol.

Lancelot: LANCELOT DID SOME THINGS WRONG BUT BOINKING GWEN WAS NOT ONE OF THEM

Favorite relationship

Kojiro: Him and Musashi for sure, but he and Artoria had an interesting thing going.

Sanson: Him and Marie for SUUUUUURE, him and Charlotte as well, definitely, considering he historically executed her and her dialogue for him. But also he and Robin had that really fun dynamic going.

Phantom: He doesn't...interact with many people, does he?

Lancelot: ARTORIA. GUENIVERE. THE WHOLE ASS ROUND TABLE. GALAHAD/MASH. THERE'S SO MUCH.

Favorite headcanon

Kojiro: I don't have many headcanons but I like to think he got really easily bored stuck at the gates and did stupid shit to pass the time.

Sanson: He looks tired All The Time, does he sleep god only knows. He's incredibly fussy towards Fujimaru, though, like a big brother. He's the only sane person on the Chaldea Medical Team.

Phantom: He 100000% is aware of the musical and if you sneak up on him you'll possibly catch him humming Music of the Night. DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT mention The Sequel That Doesn't Exist.

Lancelot: He can speak perfectly fluent French, which terrifies people when they hear it. His accent is a horrible amalgam of British and French and it's almost kinda funny, the French part gets thicker when he gets upset. He's lowkey VERY religious, and he's the only person in Camelot who noticed that Merlin was lowkey terrified of Christian stuff and suspected there was more to it than "oh he's just half demon of course he is".

[cloversdreams]

Why I grailed my servants :3c (spoiler, the answer is love)

ENG companion to my JP list

Ozymandias

MY KING!! MY LOVE!! The number one character I spoil most across both games!! I bought his scale figure before I ever even touched the game. His design is just perfection. He's seriously the reason I'm addicted to this godforsaken game now. I. Love. Him.

Robin Hood

Robin carried my ass through soo much of the early game. I adore him, his personality, and the pretty final art (not this summer one which is also great). He's been through the whole game with me, just like Ozy, and has a special place in my heart because of it. He's currently my only low rarity servant grailed on EN.

Achilles

Ok but like. I loooove him!! His design, his personality, ughhh. Yes, please. They hit me right where it hurt and I thanked them for it. Every time I see him in game I just "!!". And every time he smiles I swear I could fly. Feed me all the Achilles content, I'll gladly slorp it up. I AM READY FOR THAT SUMMER OUTFIT.

Karna

I can't imagine it's possible not to love him like... did you close your eyes during his moments in story/events? Completely ignore his interludes? Please he's just soo good. Whether as a bestie or boyfren, he'd treat me right. 15/10. Immaculate vibes and impeccable fashion sense.

Arthur

The only Arthur for me!! Until he gets an alter... then I'll admit that I have two hands. For now, I use both to hug this goodest boy. I constantly think about how he won that poll for nicest face. Over allll the waifus. It's what he deserves. The goal for next year is to NP5 him, wish me luck!!

Arjuna Alter

I really liked his design and when he finally dropped I went hard on his banner (also because Karna was on the same one and I figured either SSR was a win at the time lol). Fun fact: he's the first limited five star I've gotten to NP5 :0

Zhuge Liang Lord El-Melloi II Waver Velvet

Waaaaaver. Nuff said. No, but really, he's just an exhausted dork with the hots for one of the thiccest men I've ever seen in my life and then he adopts a daughter who ends up taking care of him cause he's a big loser like... What's not to love?? Righttt, there's the whole being one of the best supports in the game I guess. Mostly the other things, though.

Summer Kiara

takes deep breath. WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE W

She'd kick my ass and I'd thank her. 1000% smitten. First wooman I grailed in EN!!

Ashiya Douman

Newest grail let's gooo!! My poor little meow meow. Such crimes he has committed. I make no excuses for him I'm the first one to call him terrible. Damn if I'm not a sucker for that body though. I want him to lie in my lap so I can pet him like a content cat. He will probably bite me but honestly that's all just foreplay in the end.

On our way to 2k gold Fous as well as bond ten!! I'm actually reading through the story so no final ascension art yet, but you know as soon as that bitch is unlocked I'll equip it!! I AM WEAK.

♧

Since there aren't as many chars as the other list, I will also add thoughts on potential future grail candidates for this account:

Santa Karna

I am positively smitten with the first (and prob only) male Santa. From his incredible design to his animations, I can't get enough. My desire to grail him is impossible to ignore at this point and I've already resigned myself to the fact that it's going to happen.

Saber Astolfo

I don't even know what happened but I suddenly grew a crazy fondness for Astolfo seemingly overnight. Especially his saber unit. He's so stinking cute. I love his animations so much ugh. He's a good boy and deserves love.

Salome

Wife. Honestly she's just so fricken gorgeous. One of my top fav female char designs in game for sure. She deserves at least a silver card. I'll have to decide whether or not to go all the way to gold.

Paracelsus

I have love for him and his pretty final ascension. His interactions with Master once he's summonable are all so precious imo. I don't know... he's got a cute smile and I'm weak, okay??

Mandricardo

MY FRIEND.

Vritra

Assuming I can actually get her at some point... Dragon Wife. Nuff said.

Honorable mention: RIDER KINTOKI. WHO I MISSED OUT ON. BRING HIM BACK DAMMIT.

[nuranalknowsall]

.....

hot take: but i think the reason why pulp is addicting is because it delivers in action but when it ends, its just empty thematically and thats how it leaves you wanting more? if that makes sense?

like i just finished reading the comic 'my name is chaos' and conceptually it had a lot of potential but it went unfulfilled and left a lot to be desired... the art was good. afaik there was no continuation tho smh so there were a lot of loose threads.

The art was gorgeous like most sci-fi stuff during the early 1990s.

I personally don't see the point in the violent development in Steve's experiments tho? Or why they were there in the first place? Were they suppose to be a parallel to the martians? and why even bother to mention moron's intellectual upgrade at all, if the upgrade wasn't on panel?

like most stuff written in the 90's, the way women were written made my eyes roll... even tho sarah arguably and barely passes the ailia test, she's still used as a prop for man pain and jealousy and doesn't have any agency whatsoever. I was also confused on whether or not Thomas was even aware that his wife used to be together with his brother Steven?

As for Stevens arc itself, he plays the typical mad scientist role. He does display emotions, in a cold and distant way. He also does act as a leader tho and stages a coup against the primary government of mars. Personally, i would have liked to have seen his accident and his reasoning on why he didn't want his family to know why he was dead. I also wanted to see more of his estranged relationship with his brother, Thomas. The themes of humanity having things out of their control could have been leaned in more, with Steven and his origin accident story, and perhaps even provide a deeper motivation?

Ok. Now onto thomas. I will admit, it was drawn to the cover of my name is chaos because it made it clear that the protagonist was going to be a black man. But I think it's safe to say that his role was race neutral? (like he would have been switched with a white man, and the plot wouldn't be impacted is what i mean.) And we do need more sci-fi stories set in the future ft black people just existing and facing other types of conflict. there is one trope I disliked tho and see trending in different characters of colour, and that is, thomas is moved out of his own body and switches with a martian but doesn't seem to be himself, even tho his conciousness is suppose to be unaltered otherwise? idk just a trend i've been noticing.

Like i've earlier, i would have liked to see thomas's relationship with his brother, steven explored a bit more. You get to see the strain when steven controls where thomas goes and spends his time. One part that did strike me as interesting, was steven mentioning his respect for thomas's work bc it also set up a sort of rivalry aspect? Which would have been better and make way more sense then them fighting over a woman, because there's that intellectual aspect too.

I also would have liked to see thomas's connection with nature specifically, talking to whales, be more in depth. Especially on a dying, dystopian Earth. (idk maybe i just like the implication that the whales are evolved versions of the martians too.) His ascension into a high consciousness by being connected to aliens was surprisingly not v colonizer-y. up until he was like 'yea they want me to be their leader.' (eye roll.) And the burning of the martian's bodies too was kinda unnessecary imo. i can definitely see this having influence on that 'blue avatar ppl movie.' I def liked his ability to feel Mars as a living being.

While the last page hinted that steven's conciousness was still around, i think, if this series had continued, I would have liked it to be more about the aliens and them fighting for their sovereignty against a colonizing earth, and more development in thomas's connection with nature and the universe.

[therandomavenger]

Flight of Ideas

A lot of people like to ask writers, and other creative types, ‘Where do you get your ideas?’ And that is, in many ways, the wrong question. I, like many other writers, have a thousand ideas before breakfast (to plagiarize Lewis Carroll). Coming up with ideas is not the problem.

At least, it’s not the problem the way the people who are asking about it mean it. Ideas kind of follow me around like a swarm of butterflies, and it can be an effort to catch one or two of them and put them in my pocket without completely destroying their wings.

Actually, that sounds like a terrible thing to do to butterflies. I regret this metaphor (yes, I know it was technically a simile).

What I mean is the problem has always been too many ideas, not a lack of ideas.

And yes, I know there are some writers who struggle with idea generation. We’ll get to that later. I know I am not speaking for all writers here.

I described this whole ‘butterfly swarm of ideas’ thing to my psychiatrist and one point and he looked at me, really concerned, and adjusted his glasses before dropping this bomb on me: ‘Chad, that sounds like a symptom of mania.’

Oh.

Shit.

He went on to explain, and I did some research on my own, and … welp, he’s right.

Flight of ideas: A rapid speech or mental pattern with abrupt topic changes characterized by loosely connected or unrelated thoughts. Flight of Ideas is commonly observed in manic episodes of bipolar disorder, reflecting a manifestation of disorganized thinking and elevated mood.

–Austin Rausch, MS, LPCC, LICDC

Welp, there’s me told.

And I do tend to have a lot of ideas when I’m entering a manic episode. It’s one of the signs. If I plot out three seven-book fantasy series in one evening, you know a storm’s-a-comin.’ In those cases, I will also throw in a couple of life-changing career or education goals, as well as start focusing on about five home improvement projects. Also, I might decide to launch a podcast? I’ll definitely order all the equipment for it! These things all seem to happen at once.

But I kind of don’t want to see the ideas themselves as the problem. In a manic state, it’s hard to decide which ideas are worth pursuing and which are hot—but entertaining—garbage. But there are always some gems in there, and I wouldn’t want them to go away. I kind of see this is not so much a symptom of mania, but as a gift of mania.

And really, it’s a gift that keeps giving even when my mental state is closer to a healthy baseline. I tend to have a lot of ideas for stories. When I was reading only novels and series, it was novel and series ideas, now it’s just as likely to be shorter ideas, and now that I am in Art school, ideas for visual projects. There’s a lot of them. I’m writing them down in my spare moments. I refuse to see this as a problem.

I sat down one day and wrote down a list of books I wanted to write. These are somewhat developed ideas that I thought were strong enough to be viable. I stopped writing the list when I got to 27.

Now, this isn’t really a problem. Will I write all 27+ of these books? Maybe, maybe not. I mean, time might have a vote in this, but I’m not that old. If I write 3 books a year, which I’ve been doing for the past couple of years (and some of these are novellas) it would only take me 9 years. I’ll barely be 60.

What I’ve decided to do is write some basics outlines for these books and do what I do best: put them on a schedule! Now, my schedule doesn’t have dates on it because that makes me put way too much pressure on myself. My schedule is basically a list. And I have solid plans for the next 7 projects.

               Finish World Enough and Time (current WIP, standalone sci-fi romance novella)

               Write Blood of the Saints (post-apocalyptic standalone fantasy short story/novella)

               Write The Lion and the Sparrow (standalone fantasy novella)

               Write Valley of Storms (Ascension Apocalypse book 2)

               Write Seeds of Hope (standalone sci fi novella)

               Write The Glittering Tomb (The Circle and the Shadow book 2)

               Write Stars Without End (Broken Stars finale)

3 of those projects short. I hope. These are all ideas that I’ve developed to the point that I am ready to start writing them. I have many others in more nascent stages. And clearly, I have not taken the advice that says, ‘Finish 1 series and the move on to the next.’ I know that’s good advice. But my muse has adhd (obviously) so here we are. Also, no traditional publisher in their right mind is going to let me do things in this order, Ursula Vernon/T. Kingfisher’s career notwithstanding. So, thank God that self-publishing is an option.

And this is just the writing. I have Curse of the Onyx Heart (The Circle and the Shadow book 1) basically ready to go as soon as I order the cover. And Beneath the Silent Stars (Broken Stars book 5) will go to the editor in March. I’m hoping World Enough and Time will be ready to publish by November.

So … I have a lot of ideas. I’ve learned how to snag hold of them and develop them to the point that they work as complete stories. I’m learning how to do that with art as well. I refuse to see this as a symptom of mental illness, or if it is, thank God there’s no cure.

As for the people who tell me they struggle to come up with ideas, I don’t have much advice, except to say you need to be absorbing all sorts of stories in various media, and figuring out which ones speak to you and why. That will help you find your own unique voice. You also need to be going out into the world and having Experiences. Work some crappy (but not abusive) jobs. Take a trip that scares you. Fall in love and get your heart broken. There are many experiences that are out there waiting for you and many of them don’t even cost any money. You have some sort of internal antenna that needs to be out, collecting signals, or, if you like this metaphor better, you need to be looking for the butterflies and carrying a net to catch them with. You find what you’re looking for (thanks, reticular activating system!), so if you’re looking for ideas, they will come to you. That may mean you need to change from being a passive observer of what is happening to someone who is always trying to figure things out, and maybe even putting themselves in the middle of the action. Or develop bipolar disorder. That’s what worked for me!

A Flight of ideas might be a symptom, but it is also a gift. And I’m glad that I’ve been given treatments for my mental illness that have not taken this away from me. I would miss it. It feels like a vital part of myself. I don’t know who I would be without it.

[slattery24]

The Blue Manifesto

Be the color blue. Colors represent so many things, even traits in a person's personality. Blue should be the color to live by out of them all. The color is commonly associated with sadness or depression, but there is so much more to it. Blue represents trust, loyalty, peace, intelligence, and more. Some people might take on traits of the color red, the entire opposite of blue. People who are the color red are associated with the characteristics of hot-headedness, danger, and impulsiveness. I think, as a whole, that people who are generally reliable, secure, and compassionate are more likely to be successful in life and happier with themselves. Those are all more traits that are represented in the color blue.  

In the film Moonlight, for example, the color blue is used throughout to represent the reveal of someone's inner truth. It also symbolizes the main character, Chiron's journey to finding peace and accepting his own truth, not letting others affect who he is. That's something essential always to remember. There's no way to live your life happily or honestly if you refuse to acknowledge who you are. You will especially never be able to discover who you truly are if you allow others to define that for you.

However, in life, sometimes people go through rough times, and sometimes they fall down. Like the color blue, sometimes people just have to put faith in their future and have the strength to get back up. In Bill Viola's "Ascension," you can see those themes reflected within the video. The man initially sinks into the water, but by the end, he's floated all the way back to the top, his hands and the top of his head breaking the surface. I also believe the color blue was especially prominent in this video because of its ties to spirituality and its representation of hope in many other Christian artworks.  

Out of these art creations listed, Pierre Alechinsky's painting, Gong, gives the most significant representation of what the color blue can symbolize. While all art pieces are open to interpretation, the Gong is a more extreme case of this as it is abstract. In my original analysis of this artwork, I understood that it could come off with a sadder mood. However, even then, I said it felt more calming than anything else. I also went on to describe the lines and how they all felt smooth versus rough. I think it is beautiful that Gong can represent many aspects of the color blue, depending on who views it.  

With all of this in mind, while I've given examples and statements of what to live by, there are, in contrast, some things to avoid living by. If a person is blue, they live with patience and empathy and can keep calm even in difficult situations. If someone is red, as mentioned before, they have traits in much opposition to this. This can be observed in the saying "seeing red" when people become very angry. Red is also used on danger signs and is often associated with this feeling. While there can be good associations with the color red, such as confidence, the idea is, as a whole, that if someone is blue, they are not the type to be impatient, aggressive, or violent, handling situations much more level-headed and thinking things through. That seems like the smartest way to go through a rough situation or any situation at all.

One of the most important associations of blue is compassion. Being able to show and feel compassion towards others is one of the best ways to understand people aside from yourself. It's the same with sympathy. If you don't share sympathy or compassion for others, it's easy to become distanced and detached from others, and it becomes more challenging to look at things from someone else's perspective or with an open mind. I think this is one of the reasons blue also happens to represent wisdom. Overall, blue encompasses many good values to live by, and I think it's worth reminding yourself, whether you're going about your day or in a difficult situation, to "be blue" and use its meanings to decide how best to live your life.