#but liiiiike I dunno you guys

[gonemechaniic]

gonna try to clean up my blogo to maybe coax myself to write here more

BUUUUUUUT...

ngl kinda wanna raze this place to the ground XD

[moldypoff]

I NEED TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE SOMEONE BEATS ME TO IT

Crack Mouthwashing AU where Jamboy gets sedated and we give him one of those procedures once Anya tells you instead of Cap’n abt being pregnant (still pre-crash). Or- idk, I mean you and Daisuke (because it’s a crack au and nobody gives a shit)

This is also an AU purely based on a conversation I had with @bananamaxpng

Anywho, this AU will be called

SEA HORSE MOUTHWASHING AU

Is this original? No, technically @bananamaxpng made it but I would like to build on it! (Thank you so much for the idea dude, I dunno if you want to take it seriously and make it your thing but if you do I’ll gladly stop my thing!)

I WILL BE MAKING FANART FOR THIS AU

Random headcanons and OG convo I had with bananamaxpng under the cut

I wanna say it happens somewhere after the birthday party fiasco (I need to refresh my memory on the Mouthwashing timeline)

Things are tense, Curly dearest ain’t really doing much about the growing situation so Anya turns to someone else for help, you!

Good thing your a surgeon or whatever because, oh my gosh, your trained in this really fucking specific procedure

Anyways, you get Curly in on it, he gives you the greenlight, and you fucking get Japist into the Medbay and knock him tf out only to then knock him tf up (terrible wording I need to work on that)

You might be wondering, or not, because it’s pretty staightforward, “Is this legal?” HELL NO. Honestly though? What is he gonna do about it? Tell the police? Listen,

There’s no way he explain that the procedure wasn’t consensual, just like how we can’t prove Anya’s pregnancy wasn’t consensual/an accident

Jimmy can whine and complain all he wants but the company won’t do anything and the law can’t really nail anyone because there’s no concrete evidence to go off of.

For the rest of the trip though I THINK it can be somewhat smooth sailing

Everyone know’s Jimmy’s pregnant, yk what that means

A. He’s suffering, B. He’s bitching about it, C. He has to have a chaperone because he’s unstable and, well, with child, they’re not about to let him do much by himself

His routine is, as of now, consisting of eating, sleeping, bitching, getting checkups, minimal piloting, and- idk, leisure time

I know, it sounds like pampering, I get it, MUCH more than he deserves, but liiiiike, it seems like a fix no? He’s a burden, sure, but he

Can’t crash the ship because he has someone to accompany him all the time

Is kinda at the mercy of everyone because he’s tired, nauseous, ect.

a little dumber than usual (I saw a yt short about this from that one doctor guy, the brain shrinks a bit to help mama, or in this case dada, connect with baby once they’re born)

Will maybe be a better person because good soup (provided by Swansea, he know’s how to take care of someone when they’re pregnant he has kids), physically being at a disadvantage, and kinda being relieved of part of his duties might fix him.

But we know Jimmy, he literally craves power so you bet your ass at the very least he is going to try and tell everyone what to do because he’s WiTh cHilD (This is further down the line, at first he’s still going to try and do things himself but later I’d imagine he embraces it and tries to use it against everyone else)

His is renovating the ship because he is NESTING

Everything has to be cleaned, which is hard because the Tulpar has DECADES of grime to scrape away, if that feet were even plausible

He’s annoying, you can tell him to shut up but I think he’d cry, sorry (lots of stress isn’t good for this motherfather so like, you don’t need to appease him at every turn but try manipulating him into thinking you’re doing something for his sake and he’ll probably zip it then.)

Random note but he’s going to be fairly pretty in this state, something about everything inflating? (Pregnant glow, hair looking fab af, skin being clear af)

But yeah, that’s all I can think of at the moment. When the baby’s finally born- I dunno, chances are Jimama’s gonna give it up for adoption or get Anya to pay for child support/try to get her to take care of him and the kid because he’ll be hooked to pregnant princess treatment lmao (I swear if he becomes those people that keep making babies but can’t bother to take credit of them- we’re tying his tubes, on golly.)

Anywayssss, that’s all, it’s very late and I am very tired, this is poorly written please do not take this seriously.

(Og convo, as promised!)

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

NOTE: Okay I just really liked writing this chapter. It's probably my favourite out of the past 15 and the next few (yes the rough drafts are already in existence). Dunno why exactly. Thanks again for everybody reviewing and reading along, I hope you guys are enjoying!

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Moonlight filled the corners of the night that the receding campfire missed as they walked along the beach. They had unanimously left the fireside after Elsa watched Anna's expression gaining more and more certainty. And wonder: she wasn't sure she had ever seen true, genuine wonder in another person's expression before. Not until now.

"So… what's your real name?"

"Elsa," she told her with a laugh.

"Oh. I guess… I thought that was a character? To go with the accent."

"Sorry. I didn't know what to do when I saw you suddenly there, and panicked. That was… really stupid."

Anna shook her head. They were both carrying their shoes, Chucks in Anna's hand and pricey black heels in Elsa's. Could they be any more different - from different worlds? What an ill-advised mish-mash they were. But it was one she couldn't stop from happening. Didn't want to stop.

"Not stupid. I guess I just… I don't even know what I thought would happen when I got here, but it's all so… weird. Am I weird in person?"

"Yes." They both laughed. "But no moreso than usual. No worse than me."

"Then… is it… did you not want to meet me?" She held up her free hand to forestall her answer. "Sorry. That's a super loaded question, I'm a bitch."

Elsa shook her head. "You aren't. I am." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You aren't available, Anna. It's not right for me to pursue this. And I'm… we won't be able to have anything like a healthy relationship because of who I am. So I just… I know that what I've been doing is… foolish, and stupid. But I can't seem to let you go."

At some point, Anna had stopped, and Elsa turned to blink at her. She wasn't sure what she expected to hear her say but it wasn't, "Dude… you're into me."

"Huh?"

"Can't take it back now," she said with a big grin, turning her head a little to the left to appear more mischievous as she leaned forward for emphasis. "You liiiiike me."

"What?! O-of course I like you, we're friends!"

"C'mon, don't try that. You said you didn't want to 'pursue this', which is like, a super nerdy way to say you got the hots for me but can't take me to Poundtown."

Thank God it was dark or her blush would have been visible for miles. "Th-that is absolutely not how I would ever put it."

"Yeah, I know." Anna approached, and at first Elsa backed up… but she was so beautiful under the stars, with the crashing waves in the background, that she felt rooted to the spot. To let the inevitable happen, whatever it might end up being. "Because you're a classy bitch. And geez you're so tall, wow."

Even the word "bitch" didn't hurt coming from Anna.

"Okay," she whispered softly as Anna came to a stop, mere inches away from her. "Maybe… you aren't wrong. But what does it matter?"

"It matters a lot. Because…" She bit her lip. A love confession was coming, and Elsa couldn't hear it - not while there were obstacles in the way. NO! Not "obstacles"; those could be removed, and she didn't want to drastically change both of their lives. Not just for her own greedy desires.

"Wait," she whispered, laying a finger on Anna's lips. "I… you can't."

"Hmmm?" she asked, heeding the request not to speak. Even though she could have easily batted the hand aside.

"You know how I feel about coming out. My contract… and… I don't think you're ready to leave him." Anna's expression turned bleak, so she barrelled ahead, "And you don't know what your life will be like once the public figures out we're together."

Rolling her eyes, she did finally take Elsa's hand. Didn't just smack it - she took it and held on. Did that have to feel so soft and exquisite? "So what? They can't hurt me."

"They can. Nobody knows you're Roxanne now, but wait until thirsty paparazzi get ahold of your picture. I can't stand the thought of me ruining the rest of your life."

"Well… I mean, it didn't ruin MIa Khalifa, so…"

"Who?"

"Nevermind." She laid both hands on Elsa's shoulders now; when did she drop her shoes? "Listen. It's super sweet that you're trying to white knight me-"

"I told you before, that isn't-"

"-but I can take care of myself. I'm a big girl with big girl panties." She added a wink. "You bought me some of them."

"You haven't seen it," Elsa protested weakly, cupping the shorter girl's cheek. She leaned into it and it took concentrated effort not to get highly distracted. "People destroyed by their reputations. Both of us would be, but I knew what I was getting into with this business. You don't; not really, not from the inside like I do."

Anna let out a weak laugh. "Actually, the way you talk about your mom and dad, you didn't, either."

"Well… okay, that's true. But I could always change careers; I chose to remain in the public eye as an adult."

"What if I want to choose to be internationally known as some slutty camgirl if it means I'm your slutty camgirl?" When Elsa didn't respond right away, she let out a soft laugh, leaning down to bump her forehead against her shoulder. "Wow. This is… like, I don't know why I'm surprised I have it as bad as you do. Like, I'm in LA!"

"Santa Barbara."

"Whatever. Point is, I drove to another state to meet you. That's big for just some acquaintance, but normal for a crush."

"Anna…" She pet over her soft hair, relishing the warmth. "Are we really making this mistake together? Are we that hopeless?"

"Looks like it."

"What about classes? Your anonymity? Hans?"

"Fuck all that. I'm… I can worry about them tomorrow."

Rolling her eyes toward the moon, as if asking for help, she pulled that trim, warm body closer against her own. Staving off the chill wind of the mild SoCal winter. "You make it sound so easy. To ignore consequences."

"It is. Dealing with them's still gonna be hard if I stress, so why stress? At least this way, I get to enjoy right now. With you."

Neither of them said anything more for a while. They just stood there and tried to use each other's body heat as a shield against a cold, unforgiving world.

                                    To Be Continued…